Vein and artery diagram of body
Blogsnark
2015.09.14 01:09 nonremis Blogsnark
Swipe up to snark on your favorite bloggers, influencers, and everything else on the internet!
2008.07.08 15:04 H.P. Lovecraft
Dedicated to the works of H.P. Lovecraft, this is your stop for all of his outstanding works and weird fiction in general!
2017.10.18 02:01 Revolt of the Sick
Revolt of the Sick and the Damned. Discussion of hauntology and parasitism. We will continue to mourn the loss of our health. We will haunt capitalism until it is clear that it is damned.
2024.05.14 07:54 r3ditr3d3r The Progenitors
I had this dream recently, it was very detailed. Like the plot of a movie. I can't stop thinking about it. I wish I had kept dreaming to learn more... Came here because I had to document it.
My dream;
I was an observer, not a participant. I was transported back to ancient Egypt. There was a confrence of sorts. A large body of people, maybe a governmental body? had gathered to hear a person make the case to the Queen that he knew how to find and access an ancient treasure. From my perspective, I got to see over his shoulder as he showed a map to the Queen. The place in question was a weathered and worn pyramid like structure that was more akin to a massive mound or a small mountain. It was somewhere within the borders of Egypt, in the wilds. But this man knew where it was, he was an engineer or something. Excitedly he explained how they could access the chamber inside the top of this mountain. He showed diagrams of the tunneling they would undertake, to dig up from the base of the mountain and into the chamber from below. He explained that there were already small cave systems with entries at the base of the mountain, which indicated to him that this was indeed the site of ancient activity, and from which he would gain a great advantage in his endeavor.
From my 3rd person perspective, I could see what he was talking about clearly. And indeed, an ancient chamber existed in what appeared to be a mountain that was roughly the shape of a steep pyramid. I was unable to discern what lay inside. As the Queen blessed off on his plans, and the congress of people within the large gathering area began to approach in order to better acquaint themselves with the plan, I was suddenly transported to an even more ancient time.
Now, keep in mind I started this journey in ancient Egypt. So, from this point I transported thousands of years further into the past. I was under the impression that it had been 25,000 years prior to the scene I had just witnessed.
Now I was suddenly observing the ancient civilization that had created the chamber. I sensed I was in the same region that would someday be Egypt. The land was verdant and deep green with long grasses and dotted with trees, not unlike a very lush savannah. The temperature was balmy. Greens with a brilliant blue sky dominated the scene. In the distance dark brown rocky spires rose out of the landscape, dotted on the tops and upon their outcroppings hung trees and grasses.
My focus settled on a cluster of large, pyramid-like structures. I saw these from above as the new scene came into my focus and observation. The structures were, as I said, Pyramid like. But imagine the wire structure of a pyramid. They weren't solid. Vertically, the pyramid was segmented into 2 or 3 tiers of broad walkways. The walkways formed a square. In the middle were the stairways that led up to the various tiers of walkways. All elements of the structures were broad. The beams that made up the four edges were made a very thick, dark gray material. Like a carbon fiber. The walkway floors were like a dark tinted transparent material, with side walls/rails that were made of the same material as the walkways. There were four stairways from the ground that led up to an intermediate platform, where the stairways reversed direction up to the walkways, therefore each ground stairway entry onto the intermediate platform was flanked on either side by a set of stairs leading the opposite way up to the main platforms.
On the broad walkways/platforms, which were open in the middle to look down at the intermediate platform/stairways below, were people. Humans. Working and living on the platforms. It appeared that there were vendors and shops/kiosks. There also appeared to be living accommodations either out in the open or sheltered in smaller sub structures. The pyramid was massive, with ample room for several 100's of people. I never got close enough to see in detail the people themselves, but they wore what appeared to be modern clothing, and in many cases what appeared to be dark gray uniforms. I didn't see the details, but I sensed vehicles at the base of the pyramid, with worn paths through the grasses off to points in the distance and other similar pyramids in the vicninity.
From my perspective, it seemed there were 3 to 4 of these structures in the area. In the back of my head, I was aware that this region contained the only human activity on the surface on the planet.
I was also aware of the presence of a large body of water. An ocean somewhere in the distance.
Without transition I was suddenly looking at the ancient mound that had been in question at the beginning of my dream. Except it wasn't ancient. It was manufactured and sculpted by human hands. It was made as much out of rock as it was the same material I saw at the modern pyramids, I had this awareness that the material was transitioning to rock, as if it adopted the properties of the materials it was attached to. It seemed as if they had somehow shaved down a larger mountain to affect the shape that they had sought. The chamber had large slits around the circumference (the chamber within was round) which let light in and in some cases allowed one to look out at the surrounding landscape.
I was made aware of a family as I took in this scene. The family apparently were the caretakers of this facility. Two adults and two children. They seemed happy. The parents both wore the uniform I had seen earlier. It was sharp, and colored dark grey with light grey accents. They had a living quarter that was affixed to the side of the facility in a way I couldn't quite understand. The structure also seemed metalic but not the same material as I had seen thus far. In this part of the dream I became well acquainted to them, not personally, but in understanding their day to day activities, giving way to my understanding of them as caretakers.
As my perspective moved through the facility I realized there was not yet a treasure, but what appeared to be supplies for a colony. Lots of cans of fuel and food stuffs and other random equipment that I couldn't understand the use of. From my 3rd person perspective I understood that this would be the site that the future Egyptians would eventually access, and indeed there would be some valuable treasure, the contents of which eluded my understanding, held within this very chamber after it had long been sealed.
I got to see the detailed life of this family, and interestingly their living accomodation which as I said was somehow affixed to the side of the chamber in a way that I couldn't discern or undesrtand, which itself was atop the mountain/structure. Beyond, visible through the large windows of their living quarters was the ocean that I had sensed earlier. Their living chamber was large and spacious. The side opposite the chamber was facing a dark greenish/gray roiling ocean, with yet still more spires in the distance sticking out of its waves - except these were dark grey, craggy and devoid of any vegetation. The waves that crashed at their bases seemed angry. I understood immediately that this was an ancient ocean that would not exist during the time of the Egyptians
I was surprised to see a platform outside the large windows which docked vehicles. They appeared to be classic ATVs (like your average four-wheel ATV with handlebars) except these vehicles, despite their four wheels had some apparatus affixed to it, around its entire circumference that I immediately understood allowed this vehicle to fly using some method I could not understand. There was a name brand affixed to what I understood to be the gas tank, a name which I can't recall. But it indicated mass production and greater civilization.
I was suddenly aware of the presence of multiple chamber mountains on either side of the one I was observing, and each had a care-taker family with one or multiple of these vehicles. And still, it felt like there could be more facilities that I was not aware of. For some reason, having observed these vehicles I suddenly came to an understanding that the presence of these people, and the infrastructure they had built, was in support of some sort of mining or extraction. That everything was one collective enterprise. I was not privy to what it was, or how involved it was, how long it would take or had taken to that point. But I did have the sudden understanding that, though these were humans, they were not from earth. That this was a mining colony that had a certain amount of time to accomplish whatever it was they were sent here to extract.
Simultaneously, I was able to understand vaguely a connection between this people, and future humans. Without understanding the details, I discerned that this group would eventually leave, and the landscape would be altered forever. They would leave a presence on earth, whether by accident, or on purpose, it was unclear to me.
That presence would be the progenitors of modern humans and human civilization as we currently know it. It seemed apparent to me that whatever contingent was left behind after this enterprise would have very little in the way of the technology that I was observing.
This gave me the distinct suspicion that the people who were left were done so by some tragic mistake. But their stories, passed down from generation to generation would at the very least influence the ancient Egyptians. So much so that they themselves would try to emulate the pyramids they had come to understand had existed through the tribal knowledge passed down through generations. And that future peoples would understand that untold wealth and knowledge existed deep within the ancient mountains that had been carved out by the progenitors, thus the initial scenes of my dream where one man and his team of engineers had narrowed down their search and had pinpointed such a mountain, and devised a way that would allow them to access said treasure.
What that treasure would be remained unclear to me throughout the entire dream.
My dream slowly decayed into other less interesting and focused things until I woke up. The progenitors stuck with me and I felt compelled to write it out as it was so fascinating. I had to share.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
submitted by r3ditr3d3r to Dreams [link] [comments]
My dream;
I was an observer, not a participant. I was transported back to ancient Egypt. There was a confrence of sorts. A large body of people, maybe a governmental body? had gathered to hear a person make the case to the Queen that he knew how to find and access an ancient treasure. From my perspective, I got to see over his shoulder as he showed a map to the Queen. The place in question was a weathered and worn pyramid like structure that was more akin to a massive mound or a small mountain. It was somewhere within the borders of Egypt, in the wilds. But this man knew where it was, he was an engineer or something. Excitedly he explained how they could access the chamber inside the top of this mountain. He showed diagrams of the tunneling they would undertake, to dig up from the base of the mountain and into the chamber from below. He explained that there were already small cave systems with entries at the base of the mountain, which indicated to him that this was indeed the site of ancient activity, and from which he would gain a great advantage in his endeavor.
From my 3rd person perspective, I could see what he was talking about clearly. And indeed, an ancient chamber existed in what appeared to be a mountain that was roughly the shape of a steep pyramid. I was unable to discern what lay inside. As the Queen blessed off on his plans, and the congress of people within the large gathering area began to approach in order to better acquaint themselves with the plan, I was suddenly transported to an even more ancient time.
Now, keep in mind I started this journey in ancient Egypt. So, from this point I transported thousands of years further into the past. I was under the impression that it had been 25,000 years prior to the scene I had just witnessed.
Now I was suddenly observing the ancient civilization that had created the chamber. I sensed I was in the same region that would someday be Egypt. The land was verdant and deep green with long grasses and dotted with trees, not unlike a very lush savannah. The temperature was balmy. Greens with a brilliant blue sky dominated the scene. In the distance dark brown rocky spires rose out of the landscape, dotted on the tops and upon their outcroppings hung trees and grasses.
My focus settled on a cluster of large, pyramid-like structures. I saw these from above as the new scene came into my focus and observation. The structures were, as I said, Pyramid like. But imagine the wire structure of a pyramid. They weren't solid. Vertically, the pyramid was segmented into 2 or 3 tiers of broad walkways. The walkways formed a square. In the middle were the stairways that led up to the various tiers of walkways. All elements of the structures were broad. The beams that made up the four edges were made a very thick, dark gray material. Like a carbon fiber. The walkway floors were like a dark tinted transparent material, with side walls/rails that were made of the same material as the walkways. There were four stairways from the ground that led up to an intermediate platform, where the stairways reversed direction up to the walkways, therefore each ground stairway entry onto the intermediate platform was flanked on either side by a set of stairs leading the opposite way up to the main platforms.
On the broad walkways/platforms, which were open in the middle to look down at the intermediate platform/stairways below, were people. Humans. Working and living on the platforms. It appeared that there were vendors and shops/kiosks. There also appeared to be living accommodations either out in the open or sheltered in smaller sub structures. The pyramid was massive, with ample room for several 100's of people. I never got close enough to see in detail the people themselves, but they wore what appeared to be modern clothing, and in many cases what appeared to be dark gray uniforms. I didn't see the details, but I sensed vehicles at the base of the pyramid, with worn paths through the grasses off to points in the distance and other similar pyramids in the vicninity.
From my perspective, it seemed there were 3 to 4 of these structures in the area. In the back of my head, I was aware that this region contained the only human activity on the surface on the planet.
I was also aware of the presence of a large body of water. An ocean somewhere in the distance.
Without transition I was suddenly looking at the ancient mound that had been in question at the beginning of my dream. Except it wasn't ancient. It was manufactured and sculpted by human hands. It was made as much out of rock as it was the same material I saw at the modern pyramids, I had this awareness that the material was transitioning to rock, as if it adopted the properties of the materials it was attached to. It seemed as if they had somehow shaved down a larger mountain to affect the shape that they had sought. The chamber had large slits around the circumference (the chamber within was round) which let light in and in some cases allowed one to look out at the surrounding landscape.
I was made aware of a family as I took in this scene. The family apparently were the caretakers of this facility. Two adults and two children. They seemed happy. The parents both wore the uniform I had seen earlier. It was sharp, and colored dark grey with light grey accents. They had a living quarter that was affixed to the side of the facility in a way I couldn't quite understand. The structure also seemed metalic but not the same material as I had seen thus far. In this part of the dream I became well acquainted to them, not personally, but in understanding their day to day activities, giving way to my understanding of them as caretakers.
As my perspective moved through the facility I realized there was not yet a treasure, but what appeared to be supplies for a colony. Lots of cans of fuel and food stuffs and other random equipment that I couldn't understand the use of. From my 3rd person perspective I understood that this would be the site that the future Egyptians would eventually access, and indeed there would be some valuable treasure, the contents of which eluded my understanding, held within this very chamber after it had long been sealed.
I got to see the detailed life of this family, and interestingly their living accomodation which as I said was somehow affixed to the side of the chamber in a way that I couldn't discern or undesrtand, which itself was atop the mountain/structure. Beyond, visible through the large windows of their living quarters was the ocean that I had sensed earlier. Their living chamber was large and spacious. The side opposite the chamber was facing a dark greenish/gray roiling ocean, with yet still more spires in the distance sticking out of its waves - except these were dark grey, craggy and devoid of any vegetation. The waves that crashed at their bases seemed angry. I understood immediately that this was an ancient ocean that would not exist during the time of the Egyptians
I was surprised to see a platform outside the large windows which docked vehicles. They appeared to be classic ATVs (like your average four-wheel ATV with handlebars) except these vehicles, despite their four wheels had some apparatus affixed to it, around its entire circumference that I immediately understood allowed this vehicle to fly using some method I could not understand. There was a name brand affixed to what I understood to be the gas tank, a name which I can't recall. But it indicated mass production and greater civilization.
I was suddenly aware of the presence of multiple chamber mountains on either side of the one I was observing, and each had a care-taker family with one or multiple of these vehicles. And still, it felt like there could be more facilities that I was not aware of. For some reason, having observed these vehicles I suddenly came to an understanding that the presence of these people, and the infrastructure they had built, was in support of some sort of mining or extraction. That everything was one collective enterprise. I was not privy to what it was, or how involved it was, how long it would take or had taken to that point. But I did have the sudden understanding that, though these were humans, they were not from earth. That this was a mining colony that had a certain amount of time to accomplish whatever it was they were sent here to extract.
Simultaneously, I was able to understand vaguely a connection between this people, and future humans. Without understanding the details, I discerned that this group would eventually leave, and the landscape would be altered forever. They would leave a presence on earth, whether by accident, or on purpose, it was unclear to me.
That presence would be the progenitors of modern humans and human civilization as we currently know it. It seemed apparent to me that whatever contingent was left behind after this enterprise would have very little in the way of the technology that I was observing.
This gave me the distinct suspicion that the people who were left were done so by some tragic mistake. But their stories, passed down from generation to generation would at the very least influence the ancient Egyptians. So much so that they themselves would try to emulate the pyramids they had come to understand had existed through the tribal knowledge passed down through generations. And that future peoples would understand that untold wealth and knowledge existed deep within the ancient mountains that had been carved out by the progenitors, thus the initial scenes of my dream where one man and his team of engineers had narrowed down their search and had pinpointed such a mountain, and devised a way that would allow them to access said treasure.
What that treasure would be remained unclear to me throughout the entire dream.
My dream slowly decayed into other less interesting and focused things until I woke up. The progenitors stuck with me and I felt compelled to write it out as it was so fascinating. I had to share.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
2024.05.14 06:49 Critical-Sense-1539 Some thoughts on why antinatalists continue their lives.
If you find life so bad, then why don't you kill yourself? Doesn't the fact that you continue to live despite your suffering show that deep down, you do find life valuable?
Questions such as these are perhaps the most common challenges people levy against antinatalists. These questions are basically attempts to undermine antinatalists' beliefs by suggesting that the fact they continue their lives shows that they do not actually have the problem with birth that they claim to. Given the popularity of this line of argument, I thought I might put together a small collection of what I consider to be the best responses.
I'll make the obvious point first that antinatalism, strictly speaking, is just a negative judgement regarding birth. There are many reasons one might make such a judgement; it's not necessarily because they think all lives are bad or fundamentally not worth living. An antinatalist could love their life and be grateful for it yet still hold the opinion that their parents should not have brought them into existence. Maybe they think the mere fact that their parents risked them having a bad life or the fact that their parents created them unconsensually is enough to make their birth unjustifiable. Maybe they have some Therefore, a question like, "If you find life so bad, then why don't you kill yourself?" is not even applicable to these sorts of people, for they could just say, "I do not find life so bad."
However, many antinatalists do take a pessimistic view of life; I would probably count myself among them. What of us? Do we discredit our pessimism by continuing to live? Well, even in this case, I think there are solid justifications that the antinatalist can give for why they continue to live. Here are two that I consider to be pretty easily defensible.
Response 1: Living for others
I think this point is easy enough to understand. Most of us have family and friends who care about us and would be very upset if we were to kill ourselves. Additionally, by continuing to live, we can engage in altruistic pursuits such as volunteering, charity, or activism in an attempt to relieve the suffering of others. Although we shall inevitably suffer throughout our lives, we can attempt to offset this suffering by using our lives as a force for good and sparing others from pain. We can bear some suffering ourselves so that others do not have to.
Response 2: It's not easy to die
The path to death is not a clear one; it's uncertain and dangerous. Even those who do not view death itself in a negative light are still averse to the fear and pain associated with the process of dying. The anxiety of looking down from the edge of a precipice, the uncomfortable sensation of a rope around your throat, the sharp pang of a blade through your arteries - these are what stand at the gate to death. Even if you work up the nerve to push through the pain and fear, there is no guarantee you die; it is entirely possible to end up injured with a far worse quality of life than what you had before.
If we lived in a world where people had access to painless and reliable methods to end their lives, well, maybe this wouldn't be such a critical consideration. However, as I'm sure you're aware, this is not that world; it's pretty much the opposite. It seems the majority of people actually try to make it more difficult for people to end their lives. There are so many barriers to suicide, both biological and social, that it should not be any surprise that we do not do it. We are so mired in habits that sustain life that it will take much more than philosophical conviction to break out of them; it takes a real sense of desperation.
As a metaphor, imagine you've been kidnapped and find yourself trapped in the back of a stranger's car. As the car speeds down the highway, you notice that the door is unlocked. An idea forms in your head: maybe you could take the opportunity to jump out and escape! However, you also recognize that this plan is far from guaranteed to work; jumping out of a moving vehicle could lead to grievous injury. There is also the chance that your kidnapper, having seen what you just tried, will probably just pick up your injured body and continue on their way.
Now, does your reluctance to jump mean you don't desire freedom? No. Does it mean you don't think your kidnapper wronged you? No again. Your kidnapper has created a situation where freedom is not easily attainable, and achieving it would require a painful, uncertain, and frightening effort. Similarly, someone might long for freedom from the sufferings of existence but hesitate to take that final step of suicide because their fear and uncertainty paralyze them into inaction.
_
Ultimately, I think it's rather heartless to look at somebody who finds their life burdensome yet lacks the fortitude to try and free themselves of it and say to them, "See, you love your life after all! You do not really think your parents wronged you." I find these sentiments disgusting; they disregard legitimate grievances regarding life just because the suffering individual was not quite desperate enough to take their death into their own hands. Is it really fair to demand that somebody must kill themselves to prove that their suffering matters otherwise every complaint they make is vacuous and insubstantial? Surely, this is too much to ask.
Overall, I think the points I've brought up here do a decently good job of showing that it is not hypocritical for an antinatalist, even a pessimistic one, to continue their life. What do you think though? Are my points here fair enough? If you can think of any other reasons why an antinatalist might continue to live, feel free to put them down in the comments.
submitted by Critical-Sense-1539 to antinatalism [link] [comments]
Questions such as these are perhaps the most common challenges people levy against antinatalists. These questions are basically attempts to undermine antinatalists' beliefs by suggesting that the fact they continue their lives shows that they do not actually have the problem with birth that they claim to. Given the popularity of this line of argument, I thought I might put together a small collection of what I consider to be the best responses.
I'll make the obvious point first that antinatalism, strictly speaking, is just a negative judgement regarding birth. There are many reasons one might make such a judgement; it's not necessarily because they think all lives are bad or fundamentally not worth living. An antinatalist could love their life and be grateful for it yet still hold the opinion that their parents should not have brought them into existence. Maybe they think the mere fact that their parents risked them having a bad life or the fact that their parents created them unconsensually is enough to make their birth unjustifiable. Maybe they have some Therefore, a question like, "If you find life so bad, then why don't you kill yourself?" is not even applicable to these sorts of people, for they could just say, "I do not find life so bad."
However, many antinatalists do take a pessimistic view of life; I would probably count myself among them. What of us? Do we discredit our pessimism by continuing to live? Well, even in this case, I think there are solid justifications that the antinatalist can give for why they continue to live. Here are two that I consider to be pretty easily defensible.
Response 1: Living for others
I think this point is easy enough to understand. Most of us have family and friends who care about us and would be very upset if we were to kill ourselves. Additionally, by continuing to live, we can engage in altruistic pursuits such as volunteering, charity, or activism in an attempt to relieve the suffering of others. Although we shall inevitably suffer throughout our lives, we can attempt to offset this suffering by using our lives as a force for good and sparing others from pain. We can bear some suffering ourselves so that others do not have to.
Response 2: It's not easy to die
The path to death is not a clear one; it's uncertain and dangerous. Even those who do not view death itself in a negative light are still averse to the fear and pain associated with the process of dying. The anxiety of looking down from the edge of a precipice, the uncomfortable sensation of a rope around your throat, the sharp pang of a blade through your arteries - these are what stand at the gate to death. Even if you work up the nerve to push through the pain and fear, there is no guarantee you die; it is entirely possible to end up injured with a far worse quality of life than what you had before.
If we lived in a world where people had access to painless and reliable methods to end their lives, well, maybe this wouldn't be such a critical consideration. However, as I'm sure you're aware, this is not that world; it's pretty much the opposite. It seems the majority of people actually try to make it more difficult for people to end their lives. There are so many barriers to suicide, both biological and social, that it should not be any surprise that we do not do it. We are so mired in habits that sustain life that it will take much more than philosophical conviction to break out of them; it takes a real sense of desperation.
As a metaphor, imagine you've been kidnapped and find yourself trapped in the back of a stranger's car. As the car speeds down the highway, you notice that the door is unlocked. An idea forms in your head: maybe you could take the opportunity to jump out and escape! However, you also recognize that this plan is far from guaranteed to work; jumping out of a moving vehicle could lead to grievous injury. There is also the chance that your kidnapper, having seen what you just tried, will probably just pick up your injured body and continue on their way.
Now, does your reluctance to jump mean you don't desire freedom? No. Does it mean you don't think your kidnapper wronged you? No again. Your kidnapper has created a situation where freedom is not easily attainable, and achieving it would require a painful, uncertain, and frightening effort. Similarly, someone might long for freedom from the sufferings of existence but hesitate to take that final step of suicide because their fear and uncertainty paralyze them into inaction.
_
Ultimately, I think it's rather heartless to look at somebody who finds their life burdensome yet lacks the fortitude to try and free themselves of it and say to them, "See, you love your life after all! You do not really think your parents wronged you." I find these sentiments disgusting; they disregard legitimate grievances regarding life just because the suffering individual was not quite desperate enough to take their death into their own hands. Is it really fair to demand that somebody must kill themselves to prove that their suffering matters otherwise every complaint they make is vacuous and insubstantial? Surely, this is too much to ask.
Overall, I think the points I've brought up here do a decently good job of showing that it is not hypocritical for an antinatalist, even a pessimistic one, to continue their life. What do you think though? Are my points here fair enough? If you can think of any other reasons why an antinatalist might continue to live, feel free to put them down in the comments.
2024.05.14 06:09 Sorin61 Two-Month Consumption of Orange Juice Enriched with Vitamin D3 and Probiotics Decreases Body Weight, Insulin Resistance, Blood Lipids, and Arterial Blood Pressure in High-Cardiometabolic-Risk Patients on a Westernized Type Diet
 | submitted by Sorin61 to ScientificNutrition [link] [comments] |
2024.05.14 06:00 Sorin61 Two-Month Consumption of Orange Juice Enriched with Vitamin D3 and Probiotics Decreases Body Weight, Insulin Resistance, Blood Lipids, and Arterial Blood Pressure in High-Cardiometabolic-Risk Patients on a Westernized Type Diet
| | submitted by Sorin61 to Nutraceuticalscience [link] [comments] |
2024.05.14 04:42 rashslingingslasher Does anyone over analyze their skin and want it to be perfect?
I notice every “flaw” in my skin. It doesn’t help that I’m pale so everything is so much more visible. I hate that I have spider veins on various places of my body. I hate my scars, and redness on my face and my acne. I have a tattoo with blowout and unevenness and I wish I could get it removed. I want to buy procedures like laser vein treatment and scar removal. I have terrible self harm scars on my wrist that I can’t stand. I want to get any moles I have removed. I just can’t stand having imperfect skin. It drives me insane knowing I’ll always have these flaws even though I know they’re not flaws and are normal. I don’t feel this way about other peoples skin “imperfections” btw. I just wonder if anyone else goes through this?
submitted by rashslingingslasher to OCD [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 04:29 Equivalent_Lab_1886 I strongly believe I have pots
Hey guys, I’m a 22 year old male. I’ve had so many posts recently about anxiety because the last 2 months have been tough. Something is physically wrong with me and i feel like im alone because it keeps getting blamed on anxiety. I’ve never been this anxious, my whole life has changed the last 2 months. It’s led to depression and extreme panic because everyday is something new.
Basically after reading quite a bit I’ve discovered pots and I’m almost positive I have it and think I finally might have an answer. It started with really red and splotchy hands, though it was odd and went to ER. They said HFMD. Then they started turning purple and red that comes and goes (worse after shower) brain fog, dizziness, poor tempature control, short breath when simply eating, high heart rate that gets much higher when standing or adjusting myself (makes me feel faint), cold/hot parts of body, now the last 3 days my veins are turning blue/purple and much more noticeable, as well as me dumping buckets of sweat.
This is not a mental health issue, this physical problem has driven me to mental health issues. Truly feel like I’m crying out for help. I see my doctor tomorrow and i don’t know how to go about this. What are your guys thoughts? Thank you
submitted by Equivalent_Lab_1886 to POTS [link] [comments]
Basically after reading quite a bit I’ve discovered pots and I’m almost positive I have it and think I finally might have an answer. It started with really red and splotchy hands, though it was odd and went to ER. They said HFMD. Then they started turning purple and red that comes and goes (worse after shower) brain fog, dizziness, poor tempature control, short breath when simply eating, high heart rate that gets much higher when standing or adjusting myself (makes me feel faint), cold/hot parts of body, now the last 3 days my veins are turning blue/purple and much more noticeable, as well as me dumping buckets of sweat.
This is not a mental health issue, this physical problem has driven me to mental health issues. Truly feel like I’m crying out for help. I see my doctor tomorrow and i don’t know how to go about this. What are your guys thoughts? Thank you
2024.05.14 03:05 WonderWoman710 Temperature differences after fusion
Hi everyone, I (38F) had a spinal fusion in February (L4-L5 ALIF 360 with posterior screw placement). First of all, I was very nervous to have the surgery but I had done several years of physical therapy, numerous cortisone injections, and a rhizotomy, so I felt I exhausted all my non-surgical options. It’s been 12 weeks and I’m feeling really good - all the pain I had in my back when I was standing/laying flat is gone and it is a miracle! I’m still having a bit of nerve sensation in my leg every now and then and a glimmer in my back if I overdo it, but it’s not really pain. So i am PSYCHED to not be in constant pain!
With that said, I have had a couple of "weird" side effects happen since surgery and I’m curious if anyone else has had or heard of these things.
First, my hands have usually been cold my entire life, but since surgery if my hands happen to be cold, there have been 3 occasions when one of my fingers will turn completely white just in one or two knuckles - and it is numb and tingly. If I warm up my hands in warm water it’ll immediately look and feel normal again. When I’ve looked up Raynaud’s phenomenon it looks like that, but just one finger. My doctor said Raynaud’s usually affects more than one finger so I don’t know. Has anyone suddenly gotten Raynaud’s after having spine surgery or had one finger turn randomly white?
The second issue is that, like my hands, my feet have also always been cold for my entire life. After surgery however, they were immediately warm. I thought that surgery suddenly fixed my bad circulation and I was into it. But then it started feeling a bit too warm, and my feet were also suddenly very dry where they haven’t been before. The bottom of my feet also appears more red/white splotchy (see photo). Then my left one started cooling off, and now my left one is basically coldemore normal to what it was before surgery, but my right foot is still warm. I can warm up my left foot with my right foot and it kind of weirds me out that they are different. I had a vascular ultrasound on both legs - no blood clots or artery/vein issues that they can see. The only thing it said was my right foot had very mild hyperemia, or more blood in it (which I assumed since it is warmer). My surgeon told me initially to see my PCP, who ordered this ultrasound, and now my PCP is telling me that I need to go back to my surgeon about it, lol. The only other thing that popped up in my labs was a slightly elevated thyroid which I haven’t had previously.
Has anyone heard of this? Since my foot has changed temperature since surgery I’m hoping it will just continue to figure itself out as my nerves continue to heal, but the right foot has been consistently warm, regardless of my environment for the last 12 weeks which seems like a good amount of time. Am I just going to have one hot foot forever?
Thanks for reading! - Cold Hands, Hot Foot
submitted by WonderWoman710 to spinalfusion [link] [comments]
With that said, I have had a couple of "weird" side effects happen since surgery and I’m curious if anyone else has had or heard of these things.
First, my hands have usually been cold my entire life, but since surgery if my hands happen to be cold, there have been 3 occasions when one of my fingers will turn completely white just in one or two knuckles - and it is numb and tingly. If I warm up my hands in warm water it’ll immediately look and feel normal again. When I’ve looked up Raynaud’s phenomenon it looks like that, but just one finger. My doctor said Raynaud’s usually affects more than one finger so I don’t know. Has anyone suddenly gotten Raynaud’s after having spine surgery or had one finger turn randomly white?
The second issue is that, like my hands, my feet have also always been cold for my entire life. After surgery however, they were immediately warm. I thought that surgery suddenly fixed my bad circulation and I was into it. But then it started feeling a bit too warm, and my feet were also suddenly very dry where they haven’t been before. The bottom of my feet also appears more red/white splotchy (see photo). Then my left one started cooling off, and now my left one is basically coldemore normal to what it was before surgery, but my right foot is still warm. I can warm up my left foot with my right foot and it kind of weirds me out that they are different. I had a vascular ultrasound on both legs - no blood clots or artery/vein issues that they can see. The only thing it said was my right foot had very mild hyperemia, or more blood in it (which I assumed since it is warmer). My surgeon told me initially to see my PCP, who ordered this ultrasound, and now my PCP is telling me that I need to go back to my surgeon about it, lol. The only other thing that popped up in my labs was a slightly elevated thyroid which I haven’t had previously.
Has anyone heard of this? Since my foot has changed temperature since surgery I’m hoping it will just continue to figure itself out as my nerves continue to heal, but the right foot has been consistently warm, regardless of my environment for the last 12 weeks which seems like a good amount of time. Am I just going to have one hot foot forever?
Thanks for reading! - Cold Hands, Hot Foot
2024.05.14 02:28 Holchin Unveiling the Health Wonders of Embracing a Vegetarian Lifestyle!
In today's fast-paced world, the quest for a healthier lifestyle has become paramount. Amidst this pursuit, vegetarianism has emerged not just as a dietary choice but as a holistic approach to well-being. Let's delve into the remarkable health benefits that come with embracing a vegetarian lifestyle.
submitted by Holchin to u/Holchin [link] [comments]
- Nutrient-Rich Bounty: Vegetarianism unveils a cornucopia of nutrients readily available in plant-based foods. From vibrant fruits and vegetables to hearty legumes and nuts, a well-planned vegetarian diet is a treasure trove of vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants vital for optimal health.
- Heart's Delight: Embracing vegetarianism paves the way for a healthier heart. Studies consistently show that vegetarians have a reduced risk of heart disease, thanks to the absence of artery-clogging saturated fats found in meat. By indulging in plant-based delights, we nourish our hearts and safeguard against cardiovascular woes.
- Weight Wellness: Bid farewell to weight woes with vegetarianism. Plant-based diets tend to be lower in calories and saturated fats, making them a beacon of weight management. With a bounty of wholesome plant foods at our disposal, we can achieve and maintain a healthy weight effortlessly.
- Cancer's Foe: Nature's armor against cancer lies in the vibrant hues of plant foods. Vegetarian diets are linked to a reduced risk of certain cancers, including colorectal and prostate cancer. Packed with phytochemicals and antioxidants, plant-based fare strengthens our defenses against malignant foes.
- Gut Gratification: Nurture your gut, nurture your health. Vegetarian diets, rich in fiber, promote digestive harmony by supporting regular bowel movements and fostering a flourishing gut microbiome. Say goodbye to digestive woes and hello to gut gratification with every plant-powered meal.
- Diabetes Defense: Turn the tide against type 2 diabetes with vegetarianism. Studies suggest that plant-based diets can lower the risk of diabetes by improving insulin sensitivity and managing blood sugar levels. By embracing vegetarianism, we embark on a journey towards diabetes prevention and control.
2024.05.14 01:36 sethh27 Daily flushing/blood pooling all over, doctors out of ideas
M28 , 25mg metroprolol daily , no alcohol/drugs , BMI 22 Pics https://imgur.com/a/LIkEyMl
starting last May, I get daily flushing / blood pooling , it happens in my hands , feet, knees, nose, cheeks, and ears. the affected area gets warm to very hot and somewhat or a lot swollen. if you pinch the affected area it turns white and quickly back to red. running the affected body part in cold water can help, and some body parts like hands and feet are alleviated by elevating them in the air. long story short , I developed weird HR issues after covid Dec 2022, got tested for a lot of things, including echo, holter, ANA, thyroid, hormones, and a lot of other stuff. was given a beta blocker in march, and then these symptoms developed very quickly in May. the beta blocker makes my BP 90/60-105/65, before was always 120/80, and it lowers my resting HR to about 60. it also makes my extremities very cold most of the time.
So at first I thought this might be a weird side effect of the beta blocker, then perhaps a sort of rebound Raynaud's refilling thing due to the lack of blood flow normally in my extremities from the BB, then I wondered if its possibly neuropathy caused by poor blood flow from the BB. I have searched MCAS/histamine issues, and Erythromelagia which I've seen a lot of posts on both forums that match a lot of my issues. I've also read beta blockers can cause mast cell issues leading to histamine intolerance . and that beta blockers can cause excessive vasodilation . thats basically all the ideas ive come up with in my own research on what the heck is going on. For the first 6 months of these flares, it was almost exclusively my hands, ears nose and cheeks, and only rarely my feet or knees , but for the last 6 months one or both feet will flare almost daily , and my knees happen much more frequently. its clear that blood is pooling in these flares , especially in my hands and feet as the veins will bulge , feel swollen etc.
here's a typical day My nose flushes first sometime between 10-11am, and it subsides around 1pm. my cheeks flush around 11:30am and subside around 1pm.One or both ears will flush sometime around 9pm til 11pmMy fingers flush around 9pm til 11pm, or earlier if agitated from typing or another activityThose parts are pretty much guaranteed every single dayOn top of that,Hand(s) / finger(s) can flare at any point between 1-11pm, some days not at all, but usually will from typing, or hiding my phone, holding a video game controller etcMy nose may flush again at any point between 5-9pmOne or both feet (usually just one) will flush sometime between 2-3pm 6 and 7pm, lasts 2-3 hoursMost flushing lasts 1-3 hours id say.One or both can flare in the middle of the nightAlso my flaring for my hands and feet can be full blown, the entire body part , or just a section , like the bottom of my heel, the top 4 toes, just 3 fingers etc.All of these body parts can be triggered by heat exposure, or activity of the affected body part but many times it can happen for no parent reason, in fact many times I get this falling and blooding pooling in my feet and knees while I am laying down on couch and have been fro some time .When my feet flare , I usually run them under cold water and then lay down for an hour or two with my feet propped up very high, and when my feet are propped up they can look almost completely normal but within second of having them down , sitting or standing, they will return to veins bulging, very red, swollen, hot etc.
I have also been on a very restricted diet the las year and have lost a good 50 pounds, and I wonder if I might have a protein deficiency as I read that can cause blood to leak out of vessels and cause similar issues. perhaps its a combo of a number of the things going on with me. I was also tested for POTS due to my HR issues after covid, it was negative but my EP who treats pots people said I am very pots like . but having asked and browsed the pots forums, the way my blood pooling happens is not like any other pots person I can find. anyone who has ideas or thoughts would be greatly appreciated, I'm at my whits end here , I can work through most of the flares but the flares/blood pooling in my feet and knees are very debilitating, it hurts to remain upright and just makes the flare worse, so I need to lay down with feet high for several hours.
submitted by sethh27 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
starting last May, I get daily flushing / blood pooling , it happens in my hands , feet, knees, nose, cheeks, and ears. the affected area gets warm to very hot and somewhat or a lot swollen. if you pinch the affected area it turns white and quickly back to red. running the affected body part in cold water can help, and some body parts like hands and feet are alleviated by elevating them in the air. long story short , I developed weird HR issues after covid Dec 2022, got tested for a lot of things, including echo, holter, ANA, thyroid, hormones, and a lot of other stuff. was given a beta blocker in march, and then these symptoms developed very quickly in May. the beta blocker makes my BP 90/60-105/65, before was always 120/80, and it lowers my resting HR to about 60. it also makes my extremities very cold most of the time.
So at first I thought this might be a weird side effect of the beta blocker, then perhaps a sort of rebound Raynaud's refilling thing due to the lack of blood flow normally in my extremities from the BB, then I wondered if its possibly neuropathy caused by poor blood flow from the BB. I have searched MCAS/histamine issues, and Erythromelagia which I've seen a lot of posts on both forums that match a lot of my issues. I've also read beta blockers can cause mast cell issues leading to histamine intolerance . and that beta blockers can cause excessive vasodilation . thats basically all the ideas ive come up with in my own research on what the heck is going on. For the first 6 months of these flares, it was almost exclusively my hands, ears nose and cheeks, and only rarely my feet or knees , but for the last 6 months one or both feet will flare almost daily , and my knees happen much more frequently. its clear that blood is pooling in these flares , especially in my hands and feet as the veins will bulge , feel swollen etc.
here's a typical day My nose flushes first sometime between 10-11am, and it subsides around 1pm. my cheeks flush around 11:30am and subside around 1pm.One or both ears will flush sometime around 9pm til 11pmMy fingers flush around 9pm til 11pm, or earlier if agitated from typing or another activityThose parts are pretty much guaranteed every single dayOn top of that,Hand(s) / finger(s) can flare at any point between 1-11pm, some days not at all, but usually will from typing, or hiding my phone, holding a video game controller etcMy nose may flush again at any point between 5-9pmOne or both feet (usually just one) will flush sometime between 2-3pm 6 and 7pm, lasts 2-3 hoursMost flushing lasts 1-3 hours id say.One or both can flare in the middle of the nightAlso my flaring for my hands and feet can be full blown, the entire body part , or just a section , like the bottom of my heel, the top 4 toes, just 3 fingers etc.All of these body parts can be triggered by heat exposure, or activity of the affected body part but many times it can happen for no parent reason, in fact many times I get this falling and blooding pooling in my feet and knees while I am laying down on couch and have been fro some time .When my feet flare , I usually run them under cold water and then lay down for an hour or two with my feet propped up very high, and when my feet are propped up they can look almost completely normal but within second of having them down , sitting or standing, they will return to veins bulging, very red, swollen, hot etc.
I have also been on a very restricted diet the las year and have lost a good 50 pounds, and I wonder if I might have a protein deficiency as I read that can cause blood to leak out of vessels and cause similar issues. perhaps its a combo of a number of the things going on with me. I was also tested for POTS due to my HR issues after covid, it was negative but my EP who treats pots people said I am very pots like . but having asked and browsed the pots forums, the way my blood pooling happens is not like any other pots person I can find. anyone who has ideas or thoughts would be greatly appreciated, I'm at my whits end here , I can work through most of the flares but the flares/blood pooling in my feet and knees are very debilitating, it hurts to remain upright and just makes the flare worse, so I need to lay down with feet high for several hours.
2024.05.14 01:31 Withtimecomesgracex Dive into Sepsis: Management Tips, Vasopressor Preferences, and Field Experiences
Lets have a discussion about sepsis.
Sepsis is a potentially life-threatening condition caused by the body’s reaction to an infection. Sometimes referred to as “infection in the blood,” sepsis is a widespread infection that triggers a series of reactions in the body, resulting in the signs and symptoms we associate with sepsis. The most common cause of sepsis is Gram-negative bacteria, but sepsis can also be caused by other bacteria, viruses and fungi. Common points of entry into blood stream include the lungs as with pneumonia, kidney infections stemming from bladder infections, IV sites, surgical wounds and bed sores (decubitus ulcers). Sepsis can affect all ages and patients with a depressed immune response, such as people with HIV or diabetes, and the elderly are at increased risk for sepsis.
When faced with a foreign pathogen, the body launches an immune response to attack the infection. Macrophages and neutrophils are white blood cells responsible for phagocytosis, which is the engulfing of foreign pathogens in the body. They also participate in the inflammatory process by releasing molecules known as cytokines, which trigger a series of other inflammatory mediators, all in an attempt to combat the foreign pathogen. Interluken 1 (IL-1) and tumor necrosis factors (TNF) are two of the cytokines thought to have greatest role it the development of sepsis.
If there’s a continued toxin release, the above mentioned process goes on unregulated, and sepsis will develop. This process is known as the systemic inflammatory response syndrome (SIRS), and SIRS in the presence of an infection is sepsis. This process results in systemic vasodilation and alteration of cardiac output due to a decrease in preload. The patient progresses into distributive shock. Signs of sepsis include altered mental status, tachycardia, warm or cool skin, areas of mottled skin, tachypnea and hypotension. By nature of septic shock being a distributive shock, mean arterial pressure (1/3 systole + 2/3 diastole) can drop rapidly, resulting in decreased end-organ perfusion.
With all that out of the way, let's discuss:
1.)What are your go-to strategies for identifying and managing sepsis in the field?
2.)Any particular assessment tools or clinical signs that you find most reliable?
3.)Vasopressor Preferences: In cases of septic shock, which vasopressors do you prefer and why? How do you decide between levophed, epi, and dopamine, considering their different mechanisms of action and side effects?
4.)Experiences/Calls: Could you share any memorable calls where you managed a septic patient? What lessons did you learn, and how have they influenced your practice?
Sepsis management is a dynamic field, and there’s always more to learn from each other’s experiences. Whether it’s a tip that could save a life or a story that could teach a valuable lesson, your input is incredibly valuable.
submitted by Withtimecomesgracex to Paramedics [link] [comments]
Sepsis is a potentially life-threatening condition caused by the body’s reaction to an infection. Sometimes referred to as “infection in the blood,” sepsis is a widespread infection that triggers a series of reactions in the body, resulting in the signs and symptoms we associate with sepsis. The most common cause of sepsis is Gram-negative bacteria, but sepsis can also be caused by other bacteria, viruses and fungi. Common points of entry into blood stream include the lungs as with pneumonia, kidney infections stemming from bladder infections, IV sites, surgical wounds and bed sores (decubitus ulcers). Sepsis can affect all ages and patients with a depressed immune response, such as people with HIV or diabetes, and the elderly are at increased risk for sepsis.
When faced with a foreign pathogen, the body launches an immune response to attack the infection. Macrophages and neutrophils are white blood cells responsible for phagocytosis, which is the engulfing of foreign pathogens in the body. They also participate in the inflammatory process by releasing molecules known as cytokines, which trigger a series of other inflammatory mediators, all in an attempt to combat the foreign pathogen. Interluken 1 (IL-1) and tumor necrosis factors (TNF) are two of the cytokines thought to have greatest role it the development of sepsis.
If there’s a continued toxin release, the above mentioned process goes on unregulated, and sepsis will develop. This process is known as the systemic inflammatory response syndrome (SIRS), and SIRS in the presence of an infection is sepsis. This process results in systemic vasodilation and alteration of cardiac output due to a decrease in preload. The patient progresses into distributive shock. Signs of sepsis include altered mental status, tachycardia, warm or cool skin, areas of mottled skin, tachypnea and hypotension. By nature of septic shock being a distributive shock, mean arterial pressure (1/3 systole + 2/3 diastole) can drop rapidly, resulting in decreased end-organ perfusion.
With all that out of the way, let's discuss:
1.)What are your go-to strategies for identifying and managing sepsis in the field?
2.)Any particular assessment tools or clinical signs that you find most reliable?
3.)Vasopressor Preferences: In cases of septic shock, which vasopressors do you prefer and why? How do you decide between levophed, epi, and dopamine, considering their different mechanisms of action and side effects?
4.)Experiences/Calls: Could you share any memorable calls where you managed a septic patient? What lessons did you learn, and how have they influenced your practice?
Sepsis management is a dynamic field, and there’s always more to learn from each other’s experiences. Whether it’s a tip that could save a life or a story that could teach a valuable lesson, your input is incredibly valuable.
2024.05.14 00:30 irisbells Sudden intermittent vein bulging on hands
Age: 36
Sex: F
Height: 5'2"
Weight: 102 lbs
Race: white
Duration of complaint: maybe 3 months
Location (Geographic and on body): USA; hands, wrist, and forearms
Any existing relevant medical issues (if any): anxiety (unsure if this is relevant)
Current medications (if any): none
For the last several months I have noticed the veins on my hands, wrists, and forearms bulging. It happens most when I am warm and/or my heart rate is elevated -- and I realize that that is normal, but this is definitely a new phenomenon. I have recently lost around 10 lbs but I don't think I am so thin that I'd be seeing such vascularity out of the blue. My guess is my body fat is fairly high. I do have anxiety and specifically health anxiety, so I know I may exacerbate things I've just noticed, but I am 100% certain this has not been happening until recently. The veins are not painful or hard or I'd already be at the ER. Anything that could reasonably be causing this or am I just getting old lady hands and freaking myself out?
submitted by irisbells to AskDocs [link] [comments]
Sex: F
Height: 5'2"
Weight: 102 lbs
Race: white
Duration of complaint: maybe 3 months
Location (Geographic and on body): USA; hands, wrist, and forearms
Any existing relevant medical issues (if any): anxiety (unsure if this is relevant)
Current medications (if any): none
For the last several months I have noticed the veins on my hands, wrists, and forearms bulging. It happens most when I am warm and/or my heart rate is elevated -- and I realize that that is normal, but this is definitely a new phenomenon. I have recently lost around 10 lbs but I don't think I am so thin that I'd be seeing such vascularity out of the blue. My guess is my body fat is fairly high. I do have anxiety and specifically health anxiety, so I know I may exacerbate things I've just noticed, but I am 100% certain this has not been happening until recently. The veins are not painful or hard or I'd already be at the ER. Anything that could reasonably be causing this or am I just getting old lady hands and freaking myself out?
2024.05.14 00:09 Challenger19702014 Varicose veins
I'm a 28 year old male and was diagnosed with autoimmune hepatitis at 19. I've never had a transplant and over the years have gotten more stable. My old Dr retired and my new Dr of 2 years seems very concerned about every little thing. I have been bodybuilding since I was 16 and have never been told not to until recently by my new Dr. He said that bench press, overhead lifts, and most upper body lifts are off the table due to him worried about varicose veins. Does anyone else excersise or lift? I also have a very active job since I was 21. Any advise or info is appreciated.
submitted by Challenger19702014 to autoimmunehepatitis [link] [comments]
2024.05.13 23:33 Known-Ice6365 Got my infusion today
One-and-done infusion today. The only rough part was the nurse finding a vein for my IV. Otherwise piece of cake!
I like to imagine what my body and cells think upon receiving such a deluge of iron after being iron deficient so long. It must feel like money falling from the sky or like some incredible smorgasbord. 😂
submitted by Known-Ice6365 to Anemic [link] [comments]
I like to imagine what my body and cells think upon receiving such a deluge of iron after being iron deficient so long. It must feel like money falling from the sky or like some incredible smorgasbord. 😂
2024.05.13 23:17 RaccoonSweaty3741 LO liked my Tinder Profile after 4 years NC, what should I do?
Context
I first met him through a modern paid dating website, it was only 1 time for me out of interest. LO is 8 years older than me and was already successful back then, whereas I only became successful professionally 1 year after meeting him.
During our initial meeting, he kind of first stared at me. During conversation he was quite boastful about who he is and who he knows which made me a bit sceptical. But he also mentioned that he's a relationship type, likes children, and talked about some bad dates he'd had. After we were intimate, we saw each other a second time, he asked first, I asked to remove the paid context and instead of doing what he liked I could focus on my pleasure to so to speak. When I got there he mentioned that he thought I don't like him. I am usually not a forward person but just kind of awkwardly denied that and said of course I like him. But afterwards he opened his arms to hug me in bed, which felt unexpectedly intimate. However, I think I accidentally offended him during our conversation afterward. Which must have been my first serious clue that I was getting extremely nervous around him and developing limerence. A weird mixture of initial hostility with sparks of interest and a slow warming sprinkled into it.
For a few months, I didn’t hear from him. The first week I felt like I was hit by a truck.
Then, out of the blue, he sent me a heart emoji with no text. I knew he was on a world trip for a year during that time, which added to the complexity of the situation. But I figured it was a mistake or the wrong receiver or a test to see if I blocked him so I did not respond.
When he eventually asked to meet again months later after he had returned, he was somewhat colder, we were totally unfamiliar again, wanting to see me for physical purposes and complimented my looks in a sexual context. I was surprised by anyone thinking of me for that. But I was conflicted because somehow these interactions were so cut short, so confusing, so much sense of underlying issues that I cannot put into words. I would like to do physical stuff but normally I think it doesn't necessitate to be so short with things. We agreed to meet, but on the day of the meeting, I canceled due to me being conflicted, scared, you name it. We rescheduled, but then he said he was tired on the day we were supposed to meet. Weeks later, I messaged him about something unrelated. He mentioned he would be available for a week before traveling again, and we agreed to meet once more. When we finally met again, we immediately initiated physical things. Afterward, he noticed I didn’t talk much and mentioned it. At this point I was annoyed about the inability to interact like normal human being with each other. In the end I gave him a goodbye kiss on the cheek, just before leaving in the doorway internally letting go and recognizing that this would be the last time in my life that I would see LO. I didn’t reach out to him after that, and he didn’t contact me either. I eventually blocked him, also due to a new relationship.
I did anonymously check his social media once in a while, sometimes obsessively. Throughout this time, he has been single, actively looking for a relationship on social media, and consistently sharing quotes about love, fear of love, and people wondering why he was single.
I have purchased and read books that he read, trying to understand who he is internally, just out of limerence. I had no intention of imposing myself upon him or demanding closeness. I discovered my favorite verse about love in one of the books his activity led me to, and he posted the same verse months later. All of this from a distance—fantasy, just writing verses, poetry, and trying to distract my mind from it, finding normality and continuing my life.
Present day
I accidentally moved closer to his area and I think we walked past each other once or twice. There seemed to be some staring, but I looked away and marched on. Maybe I am crazy but I think it was him
Four years later, I saw him on Tinder, and he liked my profile.
My feelings are a complex tapestry of emotions, ebbing and flowing like the tide. I experienced intense longing and dreams of him at night for four years, making my heart ache with desire. It took every bit of my inner self control and my last dignity to not reach out to him and keep him blocked during that time. Despite getting married in the meantime, that relationship is nearing its end, adding to the turmoil. I'm caught in a moral quandary, feeling guilty yet overjoyed by the thought of him. A blend of excitement and fear courses through my veins, creating a constant, anxious hum that resonates throughout my body, making every moment feel charged with both possibility and dread.
I have never spoken to anyone about this
What would you do? What should I do?
He probably swipes everyone
I think I am the last woman on earth he would be interested in
It would be so painful for me to match and him unmatching or not writing me
But he mentioned using the app years ago, although I recently (accidentally) moved close to where he lives he could have probably swiped me before. Or maybe he only used Raya. I am screwed
Please don't hate on this too much, i know how horrible it all it. I truly know.
TLDR
I met him through a paid dating website and we saw each other a couple of times, developing an unexpected intimacy. However, our interactions were often confusing and left me feeling conflicted. After a few months of silence, he reached out again, but our meetings remained brief and complicated. Eventually, I stopped contacting him and blocked him, especially after entering a new relationship. Despite this, I occasionally checked his social media, noticing he was single and looking for love.
Years later, I moved closer to his area and think I saw him a few times. Recently, I found him on Tinder and he liked my profile. For four years, I've had intense longing and dreams about him, even as my marriage is ending. I'm torn between excitement and fear at the thought of reconnecting, feeling morally conflicted.
What should I do? I'm afraid of rejection and the pain it might bring, but also can't shake these feelings. I haven't spoken to anyone about this before.
submitted by RaccoonSweaty3741 to limerence [link] [comments]
I first met him through a modern paid dating website, it was only 1 time for me out of interest. LO is 8 years older than me and was already successful back then, whereas I only became successful professionally 1 year after meeting him.
During our initial meeting, he kind of first stared at me. During conversation he was quite boastful about who he is and who he knows which made me a bit sceptical. But he also mentioned that he's a relationship type, likes children, and talked about some bad dates he'd had. After we were intimate, we saw each other a second time, he asked first, I asked to remove the paid context and instead of doing what he liked I could focus on my pleasure to so to speak. When I got there he mentioned that he thought I don't like him. I am usually not a forward person but just kind of awkwardly denied that and said of course I like him. But afterwards he opened his arms to hug me in bed, which felt unexpectedly intimate. However, I think I accidentally offended him during our conversation afterward. Which must have been my first serious clue that I was getting extremely nervous around him and developing limerence. A weird mixture of initial hostility with sparks of interest and a slow warming sprinkled into it.
For a few months, I didn’t hear from him. The first week I felt like I was hit by a truck.
Then, out of the blue, he sent me a heart emoji with no text. I knew he was on a world trip for a year during that time, which added to the complexity of the situation. But I figured it was a mistake or the wrong receiver or a test to see if I blocked him so I did not respond.
When he eventually asked to meet again months later after he had returned, he was somewhat colder, we were totally unfamiliar again, wanting to see me for physical purposes and complimented my looks in a sexual context. I was surprised by anyone thinking of me for that. But I was conflicted because somehow these interactions were so cut short, so confusing, so much sense of underlying issues that I cannot put into words. I would like to do physical stuff but normally I think it doesn't necessitate to be so short with things. We agreed to meet, but on the day of the meeting, I canceled due to me being conflicted, scared, you name it. We rescheduled, but then he said he was tired on the day we were supposed to meet. Weeks later, I messaged him about something unrelated. He mentioned he would be available for a week before traveling again, and we agreed to meet once more. When we finally met again, we immediately initiated physical things. Afterward, he noticed I didn’t talk much and mentioned it. At this point I was annoyed about the inability to interact like normal human being with each other. In the end I gave him a goodbye kiss on the cheek, just before leaving in the doorway internally letting go and recognizing that this would be the last time in my life that I would see LO. I didn’t reach out to him after that, and he didn’t contact me either. I eventually blocked him, also due to a new relationship.
I did anonymously check his social media once in a while, sometimes obsessively. Throughout this time, he has been single, actively looking for a relationship on social media, and consistently sharing quotes about love, fear of love, and people wondering why he was single.
I have purchased and read books that he read, trying to understand who he is internally, just out of limerence. I had no intention of imposing myself upon him or demanding closeness. I discovered my favorite verse about love in one of the books his activity led me to, and he posted the same verse months later. All of this from a distance—fantasy, just writing verses, poetry, and trying to distract my mind from it, finding normality and continuing my life.
Present day
I accidentally moved closer to his area and I think we walked past each other once or twice. There seemed to be some staring, but I looked away and marched on. Maybe I am crazy but I think it was him
Four years later, I saw him on Tinder, and he liked my profile.
My feelings are a complex tapestry of emotions, ebbing and flowing like the tide. I experienced intense longing and dreams of him at night for four years, making my heart ache with desire. It took every bit of my inner self control and my last dignity to not reach out to him and keep him blocked during that time. Despite getting married in the meantime, that relationship is nearing its end, adding to the turmoil. I'm caught in a moral quandary, feeling guilty yet overjoyed by the thought of him. A blend of excitement and fear courses through my veins, creating a constant, anxious hum that resonates throughout my body, making every moment feel charged with both possibility and dread.
I have never spoken to anyone about this
What would you do? What should I do?
He probably swipes everyone
I think I am the last woman on earth he would be interested in
It would be so painful for me to match and him unmatching or not writing me
But he mentioned using the app years ago, although I recently (accidentally) moved close to where he lives he could have probably swiped me before. Or maybe he only used Raya. I am screwed
Please don't hate on this too much, i know how horrible it all it. I truly know.
TLDR
I met him through a paid dating website and we saw each other a couple of times, developing an unexpected intimacy. However, our interactions were often confusing and left me feeling conflicted. After a few months of silence, he reached out again, but our meetings remained brief and complicated. Eventually, I stopped contacting him and blocked him, especially after entering a new relationship. Despite this, I occasionally checked his social media, noticing he was single and looking for love.
Years later, I moved closer to his area and think I saw him a few times. Recently, I found him on Tinder and he liked my profile. For four years, I've had intense longing and dreams about him, even as my marriage is ending. I'm torn between excitement and fear at the thought of reconnecting, feeling morally conflicted.
What should I do? I'm afraid of rejection and the pain it might bring, but also can't shake these feelings. I haven't spoken to anyone about this before.
2024.05.13 23:11 Snedglow Short Story - How the Double Agent became the Estate Agent
“I expect you to die!”
My shout echoed off the sandstone pyramid. I swung my briefcase downward in a large arc, hopeful to catch the adventurer unawares. The multicolored rune shield stopped me short of a connection. I took a step back as a flash of red-green came rushing past. Once. Twice. I stepped back in for another attack. Three. Four. The poison from the dagger took hold immediately. I could feel it working its way through my veins. Up my arm, closer and closer to my heart. I knew it would kill me. I had to get out of here.
In a twirl of my purple robes, I dropped a smoke rune. The vapors twisted their tendrils, fingers wrapping around my body. I broke the tablet and teleported away the instant the smoke became too thick to see. Just at the last moment, I caught a glimpse of magenta. More specifically, the robes of Uri.
“Damn you, brother! How do you always appear as I’m leaving?”
Limping into the portal, I made my way to the pool. Bending and cupping my hands together, I gulped the liquid down. It tasted horrendous, but the effects were immediate. I could feel the poison being sucked back down, slowly dripping from the cuts on my arm. It made a small pool in the grass, the greens playing tricks on the eyes, as it faded into the dirt.
Although I felt physically better, the damage to my psyche was still there. Every single time my alarm goes off, I run out to protect my hidden caches. Every single time, some young buck adventure is there with some gods forsaken armor to beat me back to my hovel. And every single time, my damned brother, Uri, shows up when I leave! Every. Single. Time. It drove me mad. How do they find my treasures? How do they know the way to unlock the doors? Even the alarms don’t seem to help. I’m sick of it! I’m sick of my good for nothing brother laughing away with them while I slink back here.I need a new job. I’m tired of this protection agency. “Oh, you’re so good at your job, Double Agent,” I mocked, venom on my tongue. “Tomorrow,” I said. “Tomorrow I’ll finally make a name for myself. A new name. One other than ‘Double Agent,’ or ‘Bad Guy.’”
Early the next morning, I awoke and stepped to my wardrobe. “There’s not much for options,” I mused. Spotting the patch of black between all the H.A.M robes, I quickly grabbed it and shook it out. “This’ll do nicely,” to nobody in particular. I threw on the vest and slacks and gave myself a once over in the mirror. Twirling my mustache between two fingers, I mused “Yes. I’m just missing one…” I went to the cape rack and found it. With a twist, I threw the cape on, the sashes falling over my shoulder. White with a small gold shoulder trim, blazend with a saw and log. “Dress for the part you play, they say.”Heading to the portal, I grabbed my bowler hat from the stand and slapped it onto my head. With a flick of the brim, I grinned and stepped through. The world shrank and grew with a purple haze as I was transported from Rimmington to Varrock in a flash. “I’ll never get used to that,” I grunted.
Walking around the city felt good. Nobody seemed to recognize me. Nor did anyone pull a dagger behind my back, though not for lack of checking. Playing the role of the double agent has taken its toll on my mind all these years. It’s time to settle down and build my own empire. No more silly scavenger hunts with my brother. No more taking beating from “adventurers.” No. This was my time.
After searching the city for a few minutes, I found the perfect location. It was a small, single story building just outside the palace courtyard. “Yes, yes. The palace guards will want a better place to sleep. Maybe the church goers across the street are looking for new homes.”
The “for sale” sign hung just on the corner of the shabby building. “Well, it’ll certainly need a little work, but nothing I can’t handle.” I grabbed the sign off my new home and made my way down the road toward the courtyard. The birds whistled as I passed. The leaves twitched with the breeze. I made my way up the stairs and into the castle itself. Looking around for a clerk or knight, I decided to head to the left. The faint sound of quill scratching parchment made its way down the corridor.
Peeking inside the open room, papers and books scattered around what I only assumed was the library. A small, squirrel looking man sat at a desk writing away. I cleared my throat… Twice… Three times.
“Ah! Hello, hello,” he said with a start. “My name is Reldo. I am the palace librarian.” He pushed his thick frame glasses up the bridge of his nose.
“That’s why you’re in the library, then.” I said. “I’m here about the property for sale just east of the courtyard. And perhaps a seller's permit, if you’re the man to see.”
“Yes! You’ve come to the right place, err..I’m sorry, what did you say your name was?”
“Yuri.”
“Ah, Yuri. I’ll just grab the paperwork and begin filling it out, shall I? Now then.. Where did I put that…” Reldo mused, rifling through his paperwork. “S-sorry,” he stuttered.“Take your time, comr- my good man.” Blast. It’ll be hard to break the old habits I’ve had all these years.
“Here we go!” He began filling in the forms. “Now then. The fees for the permit, on top of the property, and also the permit to own land in our great Varrock total to 10,000 gold pieces.”
Highway robbery, this. “Perfect,” I said with a devilish smile. I sat my briefcase on the table and unclicked the latches. The gold shone out like a brilliant light, dancing in the torch flames. I counted out my coins and collected my paperwork.
“The tax collector will be around once a year!” Reldo called after me.
I couldn’t wait. I’d extort the lumber yard for commission. If their planks wanted to go into my homes, they’d have to pay. Need a few decorations, adventure? How about a new property elsewhere? Ha! I’d take them for everything they’ve got. And then some.
Back at my new business, I took the “For Sale” sign down and unlocked the door. Time to get to work.
“Hello. Welcome to the Gielinor Housing Agency! What can I do for you?” I asked with a flick of my hat. The words “I expect you to die!” fading into an echo over the castle walls.
If you've made it this far, thank you! I hope you enjoyed it! I really enjoyed writing this and "researching" for it. If you have any other in game characters you'd like me to write about, let me know! Can't wait to see what kind of feedback I get. Common questions I've recieved so far:
"Why?" Eh. Boredom? Fun? I enjoy writing and I'd like to think I'm halfway decent at it. The Double Agent/Uri are the same as the Estate Agent, so I got this idea.
"What's the point?" No clue. Entertainment, I s'pose. Mabye an "atta boy" from a Jmod or something.
"Do you have any other ideas?" Yup! They're in the works, but we'll see.
submitted by Snedglow to 2007scape [link] [comments]
My shout echoed off the sandstone pyramid. I swung my briefcase downward in a large arc, hopeful to catch the adventurer unawares. The multicolored rune shield stopped me short of a connection. I took a step back as a flash of red-green came rushing past. Once. Twice. I stepped back in for another attack. Three. Four. The poison from the dagger took hold immediately. I could feel it working its way through my veins. Up my arm, closer and closer to my heart. I knew it would kill me. I had to get out of here.
In a twirl of my purple robes, I dropped a smoke rune. The vapors twisted their tendrils, fingers wrapping around my body. I broke the tablet and teleported away the instant the smoke became too thick to see. Just at the last moment, I caught a glimpse of magenta. More specifically, the robes of Uri.
“Damn you, brother! How do you always appear as I’m leaving?”
Limping into the portal, I made my way to the pool. Bending and cupping my hands together, I gulped the liquid down. It tasted horrendous, but the effects were immediate. I could feel the poison being sucked back down, slowly dripping from the cuts on my arm. It made a small pool in the grass, the greens playing tricks on the eyes, as it faded into the dirt.
Although I felt physically better, the damage to my psyche was still there. Every single time my alarm goes off, I run out to protect my hidden caches. Every single time, some young buck adventure is there with some gods forsaken armor to beat me back to my hovel. And every single time, my damned brother, Uri, shows up when I leave! Every. Single. Time. It drove me mad. How do they find my treasures? How do they know the way to unlock the doors? Even the alarms don’t seem to help. I’m sick of it! I’m sick of my good for nothing brother laughing away with them while I slink back here.I need a new job. I’m tired of this protection agency. “Oh, you’re so good at your job, Double Agent,” I mocked, venom on my tongue. “Tomorrow,” I said. “Tomorrow I’ll finally make a name for myself. A new name. One other than ‘Double Agent,’ or ‘Bad Guy.’”
Early the next morning, I awoke and stepped to my wardrobe. “There’s not much for options,” I mused. Spotting the patch of black between all the H.A.M robes, I quickly grabbed it and shook it out. “This’ll do nicely,” to nobody in particular. I threw on the vest and slacks and gave myself a once over in the mirror. Twirling my mustache between two fingers, I mused “Yes. I’m just missing one…” I went to the cape rack and found it. With a twist, I threw the cape on, the sashes falling over my shoulder. White with a small gold shoulder trim, blazend with a saw and log. “Dress for the part you play, they say.”Heading to the portal, I grabbed my bowler hat from the stand and slapped it onto my head. With a flick of the brim, I grinned and stepped through. The world shrank and grew with a purple haze as I was transported from Rimmington to Varrock in a flash. “I’ll never get used to that,” I grunted.
Walking around the city felt good. Nobody seemed to recognize me. Nor did anyone pull a dagger behind my back, though not for lack of checking. Playing the role of the double agent has taken its toll on my mind all these years. It’s time to settle down and build my own empire. No more silly scavenger hunts with my brother. No more taking beating from “adventurers.” No. This was my time.
After searching the city for a few minutes, I found the perfect location. It was a small, single story building just outside the palace courtyard. “Yes, yes. The palace guards will want a better place to sleep. Maybe the church goers across the street are looking for new homes.”
The “for sale” sign hung just on the corner of the shabby building. “Well, it’ll certainly need a little work, but nothing I can’t handle.” I grabbed the sign off my new home and made my way down the road toward the courtyard. The birds whistled as I passed. The leaves twitched with the breeze. I made my way up the stairs and into the castle itself. Looking around for a clerk or knight, I decided to head to the left. The faint sound of quill scratching parchment made its way down the corridor.
Peeking inside the open room, papers and books scattered around what I only assumed was the library. A small, squirrel looking man sat at a desk writing away. I cleared my throat… Twice… Three times.
“Ah! Hello, hello,” he said with a start. “My name is Reldo. I am the palace librarian.” He pushed his thick frame glasses up the bridge of his nose.
“That’s why you’re in the library, then.” I said. “I’m here about the property for sale just east of the courtyard. And perhaps a seller's permit, if you’re the man to see.”
“Yes! You’ve come to the right place, err..I’m sorry, what did you say your name was?”
“Yuri.”
“Ah, Yuri. I’ll just grab the paperwork and begin filling it out, shall I? Now then.. Where did I put that…” Reldo mused, rifling through his paperwork. “S-sorry,” he stuttered.“Take your time, comr- my good man.” Blast. It’ll be hard to break the old habits I’ve had all these years.
“Here we go!” He began filling in the forms. “Now then. The fees for the permit, on top of the property, and also the permit to own land in our great Varrock total to 10,000 gold pieces.”
Highway robbery, this. “Perfect,” I said with a devilish smile. I sat my briefcase on the table and unclicked the latches. The gold shone out like a brilliant light, dancing in the torch flames. I counted out my coins and collected my paperwork.
“The tax collector will be around once a year!” Reldo called after me.
I couldn’t wait. I’d extort the lumber yard for commission. If their planks wanted to go into my homes, they’d have to pay. Need a few decorations, adventure? How about a new property elsewhere? Ha! I’d take them for everything they’ve got. And then some.
Back at my new business, I took the “For Sale” sign down and unlocked the door. Time to get to work.
“Hello. Welcome to the Gielinor Housing Agency! What can I do for you?” I asked with a flick of my hat. The words “I expect you to die!” fading into an echo over the castle walls.
If you've made it this far, thank you! I hope you enjoyed it! I really enjoyed writing this and "researching" for it. If you have any other in game characters you'd like me to write about, let me know! Can't wait to see what kind of feedback I get. Common questions I've recieved so far:
"Why?" Eh. Boredom? Fun? I enjoy writing and I'd like to think I'm halfway decent at it. The Double Agent/Uri are the same as the Estate Agent, so I got this idea.
"What's the point?" No clue. Entertainment, I s'pose. Mabye an "atta boy" from a Jmod or something.
"Do you have any other ideas?" Yup! They're in the works, but we'll see.
2024.05.13 22:30 coaxialcity [M4F] The ruler of principalities! And his... mistress?! [Bodyguard x Charge, Romance, Modern Fantasy]
Every one thousand years, the realms of the divine and the dreaded collide to determine the next Lord of the Dominions. Negotiated on an ancient pact, both heaven and hell meet together on Earth, and contest each other for the title - coveted by all, as the Supreme would control both principalities, able to set the rules and laws, veto decisions, and work for unity or for strife.
It is only during this time, the Convergence, where demons and angels alike can walk upon the world, disguising themselves amongst the humans. Each race has champions: powerful individuals who may wield weapons, magic, suggestion and a whole arsenal of abilities that allows them to face one another. Under the noses of the everyday man and woman are bolts of dark magic fending off divine power across the rooftops of a snoozing city, fists parrying claw and steel in the verdant forest, and thundering blows exchanged in the clouds above the ocean.
But there's a caveat. Each devil and each angel is soul bound to a human, a mortal that has their fate tied to the supernatural. It becomes the servant's duty to protect their master or mistress, and keep them safe. This ancient law gives the entity a corporeal body, and in exchange, the mortal being is granted immense favors by being blessed by the Lord at the conclusion of the tournament.
Such humans are blessed with magical prowess, though not all humans are created equal, and the selection process is not chosen; it is assigned by the council. Perhaps some could view it as unlucky, being tossed into a rivalry that spans eons. Others may see it as a blessing, as with their new capabilities, they're almost sure to rise to the top of world.
This story follows one such pair, and their journey to the throne above all.
~~~
Hello! Another prompt was rattling in my brain, so I figured I should write it out! This is a modern fantasy roleplay, with themes of supernatural, bodyguard x charge, romance, soulmates, possible slice of life, and a bit more! It very much depends on how we decide to write it, as the world is pretty expansive! Please note that this roleplay will have some dark themes.
Please note that roles can be swapped! The pairing is always one supernatural x one human:
About myself: I'm 25+, and I can only promise you lots of imagination and creativity in a roleplay. I prefer 3rd person, with about 2-7 paragraphs of detail and action in every reply. I'm usually able to reply a few times a day, depending on your timezone (I live in PST). I write female/male/non-binary, play a multitude of characters, but I would like the main character for me to be male. I prefer using Discord.
About you: 21+, literate, and can write at least two paragraphs per reply. Preferably can reply one to a few times a day. Can play a multitude of characters as called for, and loves world-building! Preferably uses/prefers anime style face claims. Be willing to provide a writing sample, please.
Looking forward to becoming the Supreme with you!
submitted by coaxialcity to RoleplayPartnerSearch [link] [comments]
It is only during this time, the Convergence, where demons and angels alike can walk upon the world, disguising themselves amongst the humans. Each race has champions: powerful individuals who may wield weapons, magic, suggestion and a whole arsenal of abilities that allows them to face one another. Under the noses of the everyday man and woman are bolts of dark magic fending off divine power across the rooftops of a snoozing city, fists parrying claw and steel in the verdant forest, and thundering blows exchanged in the clouds above the ocean.
But there's a caveat. Each devil and each angel is soul bound to a human, a mortal that has their fate tied to the supernatural. It becomes the servant's duty to protect their master or mistress, and keep them safe. This ancient law gives the entity a corporeal body, and in exchange, the mortal being is granted immense favors by being blessed by the Lord at the conclusion of the tournament.
Such humans are blessed with magical prowess, though not all humans are created equal, and the selection process is not chosen; it is assigned by the council. Perhaps some could view it as unlucky, being tossed into a rivalry that spans eons. Others may see it as a blessing, as with their new capabilities, they're almost sure to rise to the top of world.
This story follows one such pair, and their journey to the throne above all.
~~~
Hello! Another prompt was rattling in my brain, so I figured I should write it out! This is a modern fantasy roleplay, with themes of supernatural, bodyguard x charge, romance, soulmates, possible slice of life, and a bit more! It very much depends on how we decide to write it, as the world is pretty expansive! Please note that this roleplay will have some dark themes.
Please note that roles can be swapped! The pairing is always one supernatural x one human:
- An archangel arbiter is tethered to a human girl. He's quite powerful, ranking high amongst the angels and talented in both divine magic and sword. His sense of justice is however, a little bit flawed. It is beneath him to be caught up in this silly tournament, when he's clearly the one that will control it all. And the human? Isn't she just a liability to him?
- A guardian angel who was already assigned to a human girl. He was born as a human, and grew up along side her and they're close friends. However, with the advent of the Convergence, his latent abilities are awakened and he is bound to her, the entirety of his memory returning to him now. He kept her safe unknowingly from mild dangers before, but what about now?
- An oni demon, powerful with fist and club. His power is immense, easily towering above other demons - but her? His exact opposite. Perhaps bookish, perhaps a little weak, more inclined to spend her time in the library than on the track and field. His fiery disposition and hasty attitude can only be quelled by her gentleness.
- A vampire talented in all manners of blood magic, rising into the mortal world. With his charge, he will surely conquer this realm, the heavens, and then- Why is the human-made pizza so good? This one is a comedic angle, where the demon is a little too enamored with the human world and just wants to live there, and perhaps his partner is the one who actually wants to win.
- Have another idea that follows the same vein of these plots? Do tell me! We can also build something together.
About myself: I'm 25+, and I can only promise you lots of imagination and creativity in a roleplay. I prefer 3rd person, with about 2-7 paragraphs of detail and action in every reply. I'm usually able to reply a few times a day, depending on your timezone (I live in PST). I write female/male/non-binary, play a multitude of characters, but I would like the main character for me to be male. I prefer using Discord.
About you: 21+, literate, and can write at least two paragraphs per reply. Preferably can reply one to a few times a day. Can play a multitude of characters as called for, and loves world-building! Preferably uses/prefers anime style face claims. Be willing to provide a writing sample, please.
Looking forward to becoming the Supreme with you!
2024.05.13 22:28 coaxialcity [M4F] Heaven vs Hell [Bodyguard x Charge, Romance, Fantasy]
Every one thousand years, the realms of the divine and the dreaded collide to determine the next Lord of the Dominions. Negotiated on an ancient pact, both heaven and hell meet together on Earth, and contest each other for the title - coveted by all, as the Supreme would control both principalities, able to set the rules and laws, veto decisions, and work for unity or for strife.
It is only during this time, the Convergence, where demons and angels alike can walk upon the world, disguising themselves amongst the humans. Each race has champions: powerful individuals who may wield weapons, magic, suggestion and a whole arsenal of abilities that allows them to face one another. Under the noses of the everyday man and woman are bolts of dark magic fending off divine power across the rooftops of a snoozing city, fists parrying claw and steel in the verdant forest, and thundering blows exchanged in the clouds above the ocean.
But there's a caveat. Each devil and each angel is soul bound to a human, a mortal that has their fate tied to the supernatural. It becomes the servant's duty to protect their master or mistress, and keep them safe. This ancient law gives the entity a corporeal body, and in exchange, the mortal being is granted immense favors by being blessed by the Lord at the conclusion of the tournament.
Such humans are blessed with magical prowess, though not all humans are created equal, and the selection process is not chosen; it is assigned by the council. Perhaps some could view it as unlucky, being tossed into a rivalry that spans eons. Others may see it as a blessing, as with their new capabilities, they're almost sure to rise to the top of world.
This story follows one such pair, and their journey to the throne above all.
~~~
Hello! Another prompt was rattling in my brain, so I figured I should write it out! This is a modern fantasy roleplay, with themes of supernatural, bodyguard x charge, romance, soulmates, possible slice of life, and a bit more! It very much depends on how we decide to write it, as the world is pretty expansive! Please note that this roleplay will have some dark themes.
Please note that roles can be swapped! The pairing is always one supernatural x one human:
About myself: I'm 25+, and I can only promise you lots of imagination and creativity in a roleplay. I prefer 3rd person, with about 2-7 paragraphs of detail and action in every reply. I'm usually able to reply a few times a day, depending on your timezone (I live in PST). I write female/male/non-binary, play a multitude of characters, but I would like the main character for me to be male. I prefer using Discord.
About you: 21+, literate, and can write at least two paragraphs per reply. Preferably can reply one to a few times a day. Can play a multitude of characters as called for, and loves world-building! Preferably uses/prefers anime style face claims. Be willing to provide a writing sample, please.
Looking forward to becoming the Supreme with you!
submitted by coaxialcity to roleplaying [link] [comments]
It is only during this time, the Convergence, where demons and angels alike can walk upon the world, disguising themselves amongst the humans. Each race has champions: powerful individuals who may wield weapons, magic, suggestion and a whole arsenal of abilities that allows them to face one another. Under the noses of the everyday man and woman are bolts of dark magic fending off divine power across the rooftops of a snoozing city, fists parrying claw and steel in the verdant forest, and thundering blows exchanged in the clouds above the ocean.
But there's a caveat. Each devil and each angel is soul bound to a human, a mortal that has their fate tied to the supernatural. It becomes the servant's duty to protect their master or mistress, and keep them safe. This ancient law gives the entity a corporeal body, and in exchange, the mortal being is granted immense favors by being blessed by the Lord at the conclusion of the tournament.
Such humans are blessed with magical prowess, though not all humans are created equal, and the selection process is not chosen; it is assigned by the council. Perhaps some could view it as unlucky, being tossed into a rivalry that spans eons. Others may see it as a blessing, as with their new capabilities, they're almost sure to rise to the top of world.
This story follows one such pair, and their journey to the throne above all.
~~~
Hello! Another prompt was rattling in my brain, so I figured I should write it out! This is a modern fantasy roleplay, with themes of supernatural, bodyguard x charge, romance, soulmates, possible slice of life, and a bit more! It very much depends on how we decide to write it, as the world is pretty expansive! Please note that this roleplay will have some dark themes.
Please note that roles can be swapped! The pairing is always one supernatural x one human:
- An archangel arbiter is tethered to a human girl. He's quite powerful, ranking high amongst the angels and talented in both divine magic and sword. His sense of justice is however, a little bit flawed. It is beneath him to be caught up in this silly tournament, when he's clearly the one that will control it all. And the human? Isn't she just a liability to him?
- A guardian angel who was already assigned to a human girl. He was born as a human, and grew up along side her and they're close friends. However, with the advent of the Convergence, his latent abilities are awakened and he is bound to her, the entirety of his memory returning to him now. He kept her safe unknowingly from mild dangers before, but what about now?
- An oni demon, powerful with fist and club. His power is immense, easily towering above other demons - but her? His exact opposite. Perhaps bookish, perhaps a little weak, more inclined to spend her time in the library than on the track and field. His fiery disposition and hasty attitude can only be quelled by her gentleness.
- A vampire talented in all manners of blood magic, rising into the mortal world. With his charge, he will surely conquer this realm, the heavens, and then- Why is the human-made pizza so good? This one is a comedic angle, where the demon is a little too enamored with the human world and just wants to live there, and perhaps his partner is the one who actually wants to win.
- Have another idea that follows the same vein of these plots? Do tell me! We can also build something together.
About myself: I'm 25+, and I can only promise you lots of imagination and creativity in a roleplay. I prefer 3rd person, with about 2-7 paragraphs of detail and action in every reply. I'm usually able to reply a few times a day, depending on your timezone (I live in PST). I write female/male/non-binary, play a multitude of characters, but I would like the main character for me to be male. I prefer using Discord.
About you: 21+, literate, and can write at least two paragraphs per reply. Preferably can reply one to a few times a day. Can play a multitude of characters as called for, and loves world-building! Preferably uses/prefers anime style face claims. Be willing to provide a writing sample, please.
Looking forward to becoming the Supreme with you!
2024.05.13 22:03 SampleFeeling5625 URGENT HELP NEEDED - Post religious experience/psychosis(?) TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE
In December 2022 following the ending of a toxic, abusive relationship, I experienced a complete breakdown which had been building for months. I wasn’t eating properly and hadn’t been taking my medicine for a long while, had been obsessed with the ’twin flame‘ phenomena and was isolated from all my friends and family due to my abusive ex. I started to lose the ability to feel my feelings and began turning to tarot cards and shamans online, had a prophetic nightmare dream and then one evening heard the voices of God and Satan come crashing down on me, heard hymns, tasted a taste I can only describe as death and felt like I was dying - my veins were popping out my body. I continued to hear really horrible things for days, the voices were telling me essentially how evil I was and had been. My family became aware when I suddenly had visions of them all having heart attacks and dying along with me in front of my sister, and my sister having to deal with the aftermath with the help of her godparents, who had come over for dinner that night. I then became very anxious and protective of my family and tried to gather them around me cos I felt as though something terrible was about to happen. I got taken to A&E and sectioned.
I then experienced several months of the most traumatic hospital stay where I was convinced that staff and patients and police were out to get me. I was mute the majority of this time.
TL;DR, since December 2022, I haven’t been able to feel anything. I’ve lost hope that I’ll ever get them back. I have recently been sectioned again and am awaiting a bed on another mental health ward. Without Wanting to sound dramatic, I know that it is only a matter of time before I kill myself, and I have made multiple attempts on my life the past few days. I keep looking for opportunities and won’t stop trying. But I guess I’m just putting this out there to see if anyone else has been through anything similar. I still feel as though what I experienced was a religious experience and not psychosis, even though it’s been diagnosed as that.
if it was a religious experience, I hate God and don’t care about ending up in hell anyway, lol.
If you’ve gotten to the end of this, thank you.
submitted by SampleFeeling5625 to Psychosis [link] [comments]
I then experienced several months of the most traumatic hospital stay where I was convinced that staff and patients and police were out to get me. I was mute the majority of this time.
TL;DR, since December 2022, I haven’t been able to feel anything. I’ve lost hope that I’ll ever get them back. I have recently been sectioned again and am awaiting a bed on another mental health ward. Without Wanting to sound dramatic, I know that it is only a matter of time before I kill myself, and I have made multiple attempts on my life the past few days. I keep looking for opportunities and won’t stop trying. But I guess I’m just putting this out there to see if anyone else has been through anything similar. I still feel as though what I experienced was a religious experience and not psychosis, even though it’s been diagnosed as that.
if it was a religious experience, I hate God and don’t care about ending up in hell anyway, lol.
If you’ve gotten to the end of this, thank you.
2024.05.13 22:02 throwawaysomethingz What's the deal with buses at lonsdale quay leaving before people from the seabus have a chance to exit the terminal?
I've seen that happen so many times it's absolutely infuriating. Like is it that difficult to instruct the drivers to wait until people coming from the seabus have boarded before you drive away, so you're not leaving several people stranded? Or to just fix the scheduled in general to allow sufficient boarding time to people leaving the seabus?
RIP if you are a wheelchair user or someone with a mobility impairment, or an injury or for whatever other reason you can't move around as fast, ans you want to make a connection from the seabus to any buses there, but your bus drives off while you are making your way to the stop because the people in charge of the schedule haven't put in enough transfer time for an able bodied person to make it from the seabus to the stop, let alone someone with a mobility impairment.
Like the 230 bus today scheduled to depart at 12:31 leaving before the people coming from the seabus have even exited the fare gates, when the bus route in question runs every 30 minutes, potentially stranding a bunch of people there for half an hour
And before you say anything in that vein, I have submitted a complaint
submitted by throwawaysomethingz to Translink [link] [comments]
RIP if you are a wheelchair user or someone with a mobility impairment, or an injury or for whatever other reason you can't move around as fast, ans you want to make a connection from the seabus to any buses there, but your bus drives off while you are making your way to the stop because the people in charge of the schedule haven't put in enough transfer time for an able bodied person to make it from the seabus to the stop, let alone someone with a mobility impairment.
Like the 230 bus today scheduled to depart at 12:31 leaving before the people coming from the seabus have even exited the fare gates, when the bus route in question runs every 30 minutes, potentially stranding a bunch of people there for half an hour
And before you say anything in that vein, I have submitted a complaint
2024.05.13 21:51 SampleFeeling5625 Urgent help needed - post religious experience/psychosis(?)
In December 2022 following the ending of a toxic, abusive relationship, I experienced a complete breakdown which had been building for months. I wasn’t eating properly and hadn’t been taking my medicine for a long while, had been obsessed with the ’twin flame‘ phenomena and was isolated from all my friends and family due to my abusive ex. I started to lose the ability to feel my feelings and began turning to tarot cards and shamans online, had a prophetic nightmare dream and then one evening heard the voices of God and Satan come crashing down on me, heard hymns, tasted a taste I can only describe as death and felt like I was dying - my veins were popping out my body. I continued to hear really horrible things for days, the voices were telling me essentially how evil I was and had been. My family became aware when I suddenly had visions of them all having heart attacks and dying along with me in front of my sister, and my sister having to deal with the aftermath with the help of her godparents, who had come over for dinner that night. I then became very anxious and protective of my family and tried to gather them around me cos I felt as though something terrible was about to happen. I got taken to A&E and sectioned.
I then experienced several months of the most traumatic hospital stay where I was convinced that staff and patients and police were out to get me. I was mute the majority of this time.
TL;DR, since December 2022, I haven’t been able to feel anything. I’ve lost hope that I’ll ever get them back. I have recently been sectioned again and am awaiting a bed on another mental health ward. Without Wanting to sound dramatic, I know that it is only a matter of time before I kill myself, and I have made multiple attempts on my life the past few days. I keep looking for opportunities and won’t stop trying. But I guess I’m just putting this out there to see if anyone else has been through anything similar. I still feel as though what I experienced was a religious experience and not psychosis, even though it’s been diagnosed as that.
if it was a religious experience, I hate God and don’t care about ending up in hell anyway, lol. For ages I became convinced Id ‘lost the Holy Spirit‘. Maybe that’s what this is.
If you’ve gotten to the end of this, thank you.
submitted by SampleFeeling5625 to u/SampleFeeling5625 [link] [comments]
I then experienced several months of the most traumatic hospital stay where I was convinced that staff and patients and police were out to get me. I was mute the majority of this time.
TL;DR, since December 2022, I haven’t been able to feel anything. I’ve lost hope that I’ll ever get them back. I have recently been sectioned again and am awaiting a bed on another mental health ward. Without Wanting to sound dramatic, I know that it is only a matter of time before I kill myself, and I have made multiple attempts on my life the past few days. I keep looking for opportunities and won’t stop trying. But I guess I’m just putting this out there to see if anyone else has been through anything similar. I still feel as though what I experienced was a religious experience and not psychosis, even though it’s been diagnosed as that.
if it was a religious experience, I hate God and don’t care about ending up in hell anyway, lol. For ages I became convinced Id ‘lost the Holy Spirit‘. Maybe that’s what this is.
If you’ve gotten to the end of this, thank you.
2024.05.13 21:40 maaaxheadroom Christian friend playing off the fear of Hell.
A friend of mine posted the following wall of text on Facebook. I feel the need to respond somehow but I’m not sure what to say. All these years later I still fear Hell and this post bothers me on a moral level.
Should I counter with “why would a loving god do this?” Should I refute the quotes which I doubt? Should I ask why Christians seem to relish the idea of people going to Hell?
submitted by maaaxheadroom to exchristian [link] [comments]
Should I counter with “why would a loving god do this?” Should I refute the quotes which I doubt? Should I ask why Christians seem to relish the idea of people going to Hell?
“FAMOUS ATHEISTS' LAST WORDS BEFORE DEATH: 1. ANTON LEVEY—Author of the Satanic Bible and high priest of the religion dedicated to the worship of Satan. One of his famous quotes was: “There is a beast in man that needs to be exercised, not exorcised”. His dying words were: "Oh my, oh my, what have I done, there is something very wrong. . . there is something very wrong.”
- GANDHI—At his death, he said, “For the first time in 50 years, I find myself in the slough of despond. All about me is darkness. . .I am praying for light.”
- THOMAS PAYNE—The leading atheistic writer in American colonies: "Stay with me, for God's sake; I cannot bear to be left alone , O Lord, help me! O God, what have I done to suffer so much? What will become of me hereafter? I would give worlds if I had them, that The Age of Reason had never been published. 0 Lord, help me! Christ, help me! No, don't leave; stay with me! Send even a child to stay with me; for I am on the edge of hell here alone. If ever the Devil had an agent, I have been that one."
- SIR THOMAS SCOTT—Chancellor of England: "Until this moment I thought there was neither a God nor a hell. Now I know and feel that there are both, and I am doomed to perdition by the just judgment of the Almighty."
- VOLTAIRE—famous anti-christian atheist: "I have swallowed nothing but smoke. I have intoxicated myself with the incense that turned my head. I am abandoned by God and man.” He said to his physician, Dr. Fochin: “I will give you half of what I am worth if you will give me six months of life." When he was told this was not possible, he said “Then I shall die and go to hell!" His nurse said: “For all the money in Europe I wouldn’t want to see another unbeliever die! All night long he cried for forgiveness.”
- ROBERT INGERSOLL—American writer and orator during the Golden Age of Free Thought: "O God, if there be a God, save my soul, if I have a soul!" Some say it was said this way: "Oh God, if there be a God, save my soul, if I have a soul, from hell, if there be a hell!
- DAVID HUME—Atheist philosopher famous for his philosophy of empiricism and skepticism of religion: He cried loud on his death bed "I am in flames!" It is said his desperation was a horrible scene.
- NAPOLEON BONAPARTE—French emperor who, like Adolf Hitler, brought death to millions to satisfy his greedy, power-mad, selfish ambitions for world conquest: "I die before my time, and my body will be given back to the earth. Such is the fate of him who has been called the great Napoleon. What an abyss between my deep misery and the eternal kingdom of Christ!”
- SIR FRANCIS NEWPORT—Head of an English Atheist club, to those gathered around his deathbed: "You need not tell me there is no God, for I know there is one, and that I am in his presence! You need not tell me there is no hell. I feel myself already slipping. Wretches, cease your idle talk about there being hope for me! I know I am lost forever! Oh, that fire! Oh, the insufferable pangs of hell! Oh, that I could lie for a thousand years upon the fire that is never quenched, to purchase the favor of God and be united to Him again. But it is a fruitless wish. Millions and millions of years will bring me no nearer the end of my torments than one poor hour. Oh, eternity, eternity forever and forever! Oh, the insufferable pangs of Hell!”
- CHARLES IX—The French king. Urged on by his mother, he gave the order for the massacre of the French Huguenots, in which 15,000 souls were slaughtered in Paris alone and 100,000 in other sections of France, for no other reason than that they loved Christ. The guilty king suffered miserably for years after that event. He finally died, bathed in blood bursting from his veins. To his physicians, he said in his last hours: "Asleep or awake, I see the mangled forms of the Huguenots passing before me. They drop with blood. They point at their open wounds. Oh! That I had spared at least the little infants at the bosom! What blood! I know not where I am. How will all this end? What shall I do? I am lost forever! I know it. Oh, I have done wrong."
- DAVID STRAUSS—Leading representative of German rationalism, after spending a lifetime erasing belief in God from the minds of others: "My philosophy leaves me utterly forlorn! I feel like one caught in the merciless jaws of an automatic machine, not knowing at what time one of its great hammers may crush me!"
- JOSEF STALIN—Soviet Georgian revolutionary and politician. In a Newsweek interview with Svetlana Stalin, the daughter of Josef Stalin, she told of her father's death: "My father died a difficult and terrible death. . .God grants an easy death only to the just. At what seemed the very last moment, he suddenly opened his eyes and cast a glance over everyone in the room. It was a terrible glance, insane or perhaps angry. His left hand was raised, as though he were pointing to something above and bringing down a curse on us all. The gesture was full of menace. . .the next moment he was dead."
- CAESAR BORGIA—Italian nobleman, politician, and cardinal: "While I lived, I provided for everything but death; now I must die, and am unprepared to die."
- THOMAS HOBBS—Political philosopher: "I say again, if I had the whole world at my disposal, I would give it to live one day. I am about to take a leap into the dark."
BELOVED, compare these last words from atheists, with these last words, from these saints of God:
THE APOSTLE PAUL: “O death, where is thy sting?”
KING DAVID: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no Evil.”
AUGUSTUS MONTAGUE TOPLADY (1710-1778): Toplady will ever be famous as the author of one of the most evangelical hymns of the eighteenth century, "Rock of Ages," which was first published in 1776. During the final illness, Toplady was greatly supported by the consolations of the gospel: "The consolations of God, to so unworthy a wretch, are so abundant that he leaves me nothing to pray for but their continuance." Near his last, awaking from a sleep, he said: "Oh, what delights! Who can fathom the joy of the third heaven? The sky is clear, there is no cloud; come Lord Jesus, come quickly!" He died saying:"No mortal man can live after the glories which God has manifested to my soul."
Lastly, JESUS CHRIST said: “I Am the Resurrection and the Life. He that believeth on Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.”
Only fools never learn from history, and it's amazing that even in our days, with all these facts on our fingertips, someone with a mind can devote his entire life to a delusion, and want everyone to know that there is no God. No wonder the bible says,
"Only fools say in their hearts, there is no God." (Psalm 14:1).“
Copied from Christian Page
2024.05.13 21:27 djvybz01 My wife's story
My 43 year old wife has been struggling with SFN and dysautonomia for about 8 years now as a result of what started with a lower lumbar fusion and thereafter subsequent procedures to try to resolve her neuropathies that only seemed to make matters progressively worse. Every day is now a struggle for a woman who was once a vibrant, hilarious, and active fitness model.
Her timeline is as follows:
2016, Lower lumbar fusion at 36 years old. After years of dealing with low back pain from a car accident, she decided to get the fusion due to bulging, degenerated disk. While the fusion held, she began to get some neuropathy, and pain became worse than prior to surgery. She was considered a failed back surgery patient. Later, came to find that she is a rare case that has sensitivity to titanium
2018 had titanium cage removed. For the first time in two years, she felt like she was finally recovering and was able to go back to the gym and got herself back into pre-surgery shape.
2019: She has a slip and fall in a fast food restaurant bathroom from a pipe leak they didn't cordon off and fractured her tailbone, slammed her head on the stall and the fall causing the discs above and below her fusion to buldge. This left her with more pain, which was addressed with facet injections, RF ablation of her cervical and lumbar, and coccyxgetomy. After which, her neuropathy became much worse, and she was diagnosed with SFN. She started to experience many of the vagal/sympathetic symptoms associated with dysautonomia - drop attacks, tachycardia, anxiety. She developed more frequent migraines, brain zaps, visual disturbances, auras, eye and head pressure. The common stinging, burning, and skin crawling sensations and what she sometimes says is like someone "blow torching" her legs. Insomnia and positional narcolepsy. Swirling sensations that she describes as "feeling like snakes moving all around internally." Sensations of feeling "out of phase" with her body, spacial distortions, feeling turned around/backward or what she describes as her "back is in my front or front in my back" or getting twisted like a rubix cube. These have all persisted or gotten worse to this day.
In 2022, after motion xray with a prolotherapist, she was diagnosed as having cervical instability/tendon laxity that was causing compression of her vertibular artery, and compressing her cervical spine and this was likely the cause of her neuropathy/dysautonomia/vagus disfunction. They also said upon ultrasound testing, her right jugular was compressed and operating at only 20%, which was another possible cause of her brain fog and orthostatic hypotension symptoms. Unfortunately, she did not respond well to the prolo injections and, therefore, had to discontinue treatment.
2023: She had a stoke-like event that caused her to be rushed to the hospital. Her hands and arms were seizing, talking was jumbled, incoherent. She was seeing blue flashes and could not stand. The right half of her body was numb. They ran all the tests and came back normal. She was diagnosed thereafter with complex migraine as the root cause, though I feel she may be having mini seizures.
She has not had any further surgeries since that time since each seemed to exacerbate her symptoms and increased her neuropathic pain rather than resolve them. She has been trying to manage her pain and symptoms as best she can since then, but recently had another fall and concussion that set her back once again and seems to have resulted in an increase in her symptoms. She's cried almost every day for over a month straight since the fall.
She was back in the gym at the beginning of the year, trying to core strengthen with the hopes that would help, but exercise also seemed to trigger a lot of her symptoms, even with beginner level exercise and exertion. We know conditioning is certainly a factor, but trying to excersize or physical therapy without symptoms has been difficult.
I'm quite certain that the cervical compression issues may be the main culprit. Though my fear is the RF ablation may really have damaged her nerve endings and caused more damage than good and has left her with more severe neuropathy than she started with.
She also has chronic pelvic pain and gastro/digestion issues that also seem to have developed/worsened since all this began and that no one can seem to properly diagnose.
Her nervous system just seems to be completely failing her on multiple levels, and doctors can't seem to help. It's very scary and draining on us both. She feels like she's going crazy and thinks doctors feel like she's losing it, too. In fact her eye doctor, who diagnosed her with ocular hyper tension, unsolicitedly gave her a pamhlet on schizophrenia, which didnt help make her feel any better about her insecurities about telling doctors what she is going through.
There's many days she just wants to give up. I try to be the best rock I can be for her, but I often feel helpless since there's not much I can do but try to give her emotional support and understanding, which is also difficult because I really don't truly understand what is happening inside her and can't offer her any relief.
I'm trying to find support for her with groups like this so she can feel sane and not so alone. She can't use a phone anymore because it can trigger migraines/symptoms, so I have to do the work for her and read to her some others testimonials.
If anyone has any advice or resources that may help or can corroborate that you experience some of the same or similar symptoms, that would be wonderful and helpful for her mental health, I believe.
Thank you in advance for any insights or help offered.
submitted by djvybz01 to smallfiberneuropathy [link] [comments]
Her timeline is as follows:
2016, Lower lumbar fusion at 36 years old. After years of dealing with low back pain from a car accident, she decided to get the fusion due to bulging, degenerated disk. While the fusion held, she began to get some neuropathy, and pain became worse than prior to surgery. She was considered a failed back surgery patient. Later, came to find that she is a rare case that has sensitivity to titanium
2018 had titanium cage removed. For the first time in two years, she felt like she was finally recovering and was able to go back to the gym and got herself back into pre-surgery shape.
2019: She has a slip and fall in a fast food restaurant bathroom from a pipe leak they didn't cordon off and fractured her tailbone, slammed her head on the stall and the fall causing the discs above and below her fusion to buldge. This left her with more pain, which was addressed with facet injections, RF ablation of her cervical and lumbar, and coccyxgetomy. After which, her neuropathy became much worse, and she was diagnosed with SFN. She started to experience many of the vagal/sympathetic symptoms associated with dysautonomia - drop attacks, tachycardia, anxiety. She developed more frequent migraines, brain zaps, visual disturbances, auras, eye and head pressure. The common stinging, burning, and skin crawling sensations and what she sometimes says is like someone "blow torching" her legs. Insomnia and positional narcolepsy. Swirling sensations that she describes as "feeling like snakes moving all around internally." Sensations of feeling "out of phase" with her body, spacial distortions, feeling turned around/backward or what she describes as her "back is in my front or front in my back" or getting twisted like a rubix cube. These have all persisted or gotten worse to this day.
In 2022, after motion xray with a prolotherapist, she was diagnosed as having cervical instability/tendon laxity that was causing compression of her vertibular artery, and compressing her cervical spine and this was likely the cause of her neuropathy/dysautonomia/vagus disfunction. They also said upon ultrasound testing, her right jugular was compressed and operating at only 20%, which was another possible cause of her brain fog and orthostatic hypotension symptoms. Unfortunately, she did not respond well to the prolo injections and, therefore, had to discontinue treatment.
2023: She had a stoke-like event that caused her to be rushed to the hospital. Her hands and arms were seizing, talking was jumbled, incoherent. She was seeing blue flashes and could not stand. The right half of her body was numb. They ran all the tests and came back normal. She was diagnosed thereafter with complex migraine as the root cause, though I feel she may be having mini seizures.
She has not had any further surgeries since that time since each seemed to exacerbate her symptoms and increased her neuropathic pain rather than resolve them. She has been trying to manage her pain and symptoms as best she can since then, but recently had another fall and concussion that set her back once again and seems to have resulted in an increase in her symptoms. She's cried almost every day for over a month straight since the fall.
She was back in the gym at the beginning of the year, trying to core strengthen with the hopes that would help, but exercise also seemed to trigger a lot of her symptoms, even with beginner level exercise and exertion. We know conditioning is certainly a factor, but trying to excersize or physical therapy without symptoms has been difficult.
I'm quite certain that the cervical compression issues may be the main culprit. Though my fear is the RF ablation may really have damaged her nerve endings and caused more damage than good and has left her with more severe neuropathy than she started with.
She also has chronic pelvic pain and gastro/digestion issues that also seem to have developed/worsened since all this began and that no one can seem to properly diagnose.
Her nervous system just seems to be completely failing her on multiple levels, and doctors can't seem to help. It's very scary and draining on us both. She feels like she's going crazy and thinks doctors feel like she's losing it, too. In fact her eye doctor, who diagnosed her with ocular hyper tension, unsolicitedly gave her a pamhlet on schizophrenia, which didnt help make her feel any better about her insecurities about telling doctors what she is going through.
There's many days she just wants to give up. I try to be the best rock I can be for her, but I often feel helpless since there's not much I can do but try to give her emotional support and understanding, which is also difficult because I really don't truly understand what is happening inside her and can't offer her any relief.
I'm trying to find support for her with groups like this so she can feel sane and not so alone. She can't use a phone anymore because it can trigger migraines/symptoms, so I have to do the work for her and read to her some others testimonials.
If anyone has any advice or resources that may help or can corroborate that you experience some of the same or similar symptoms, that would be wonderful and helpful for her mental health, I believe.
Thank you in advance for any insights or help offered.