Disclaimer:
This post has heavy spoilers to the story of the version 2.2 and maybe to something else. Good luck to read all of this. I yap for Ena and maybe repeat myself little too much. Mentioned characters:
Sunday
Robin
Aventurine
Dreammaster
Bronya
Seele
Cocolia
Mentioned Aeons:
Ena
Xipe
Hooh
Long
Oroboros
Qlipoth
Mentioned organisations:
Beyond the Sky Choir
Astral Express
Family
In loving memory: Ena the Order “The one who transcends the many”
In loving memory of Tazzyrronth the Propagation “The Sand king”
In loving memory of the Great Tatalov “The Garbage King”
So, the original intent behind this post was to create a lot of puns about Order and Sunday (for example something like Golden Order Radagon Sunday, “I will have order” with Sunday and a falling train instead, Sunday working in a delivery and saying that someone’s order was cancelled).
But then I started remembering all parts of Penacony storyline that have fascinated me. And one particular part master stroked me. When Sunday used his “tell the truth or die in 24 hours voice magic” he used not the power of Order, but Harmony – the Path he supposedly deliberately left behind and betrayed.
How can I be so sure, that he didn’t use the power of Order, making it look like the power of Harmony? Well, nor Dr. Ratio, nor Aventurine, nor Welt, nor (most importantly) Robin didn’t notice any sign that the Order was used and that the power on display did in fact belong to Harmony. And mind you, all of them are quite clever, experienced and hard to deceive. And in Aventurine’s conversation with Acheron in the Horizon of existence, Acheron (who as Self-Annihilator isn’t affected by the illusions of Order and can see through them) referred to the brand, used on Aventurine as the “brand of Harmony”. And the last proof is that when Sunday uses this power, he makes a call (or if you are a pun enjoyer like me, “an order”) to Xipe, referring to THEM as “Triple-faced soul”.
So, this was a really long and a roundabout way to prove that even with his supposed devotion to Order, Sunday still remains the Pathstrider of Harmony (and the laws of the HSR universe dictate, that you become a Pathstrider by following a philosophy of a particular Path). While being a Pathstrider of two Paths is not called impossible in the game, and Harmony and Order mostly overlap, there are some key differences between them. It means, that Sunday to some extant still believes in a philosophy of Harmony and is not a complete devotee of Order, how some people could have believed.
So, the goal of this post is to delve on the philosophy of Ena and Harmony through Sunday’s story, words, thoughts and actions. And to make some obnoxious theories, but that’s later.
So, let’s begin!
Ⅰ
In his childhood, Sunday alongside Robin, was called by the Dreammaster “two best interpreters of the Great One”. That means, that as a child, Sunday was extremely close to the philosophy of Harmony.
Let’s remember what Harmony embodies as a philosophy:
“Then, they say, O you who have reached the end, enter into the paradise that envelops all! Join this great choir and feast, listen to the beating of billions upon billions of hearts, holding you in THEIR embrace...”
“To battle the brutality of the laws of the universe, intelligent lifeforms must discard their cowardly selfishness and the differences between individuals, fusing into one singular melody — to have the strong help the weak, and to protect life with death.”
That is what Harmony preaches and Sunday was a follower of this ideology. Harmony preaches selfless people not only helping and uplifting each other to build “the paradise” (a prominent theme in Sunday’s thoughts) bit also welcoming every other willing person. Harmony philosophy is about acceptance, forgiveness, cooperation, that no person is beyond redemption, that in every person has inside of them the force that genuinely cares for others and strives for good. Harmony preaches something like this: “Because if it is possible for every person to become a member of Family’s shared paradise, then we should at lest try to welcome them in it.” That’s why Harmonic Strings (Emanators of Xipe) are not people and are actually manifestations materialized as the responses to the Hive Mind’s demands. It is a seemingly naïve and romantic ideal for the sometimes and indifferent brutal universe of HSR that requires great kindness, compassion, understanding, belief in other people, ability to see the better in other people and uplift them. And Sunday-follower of Order reflects on that:
"When I appeared as a child, my speech, mindset, and soul reflected immaturity and innocence."
"As I grew into adulthood, I left behind my childlike side."
Sunday (as shown in the quest) was a person of great understanding, compassion, and love for other living beings, full of desire to protect them (bird, Robin, other people). He was able to embrace even the worst people if they would show even the slightest glimpse of desire to redeem themselves and change for the better, like people who allegedly sold their own children. It is notable that he both acts as a follower of Harmony and an enforcer of Order conspiracy because of these very character traits. The motivation is the same, just the choice how to act based on this motivation is different between him and Robin because of different experiences.
As the ardent believer of Harmony, the seed of doubt in his mind was planted ironically by the very followers of the Harmony -the Family. And the disillusionment about Harmony also began, when his belief in other people was tested. When asking Xipe to clear his doubts, Sunday asks three questions:
“Who can judge the strong when their power hides their crimes?”
“Who can vouch for the weak when they will pay any price to survive?”
“If "the strong defending the weak" is truly the foundation of paradise, then who is responsible for the suffering and anguish in this wretched world?”
The questions display that the preached Harmony doesn’t work as intended. The extremely hard ideal to follow was exactly too demanding for numerous people who couldn’t stand up to the responsibility that came with upholding it. Also, as displayed both in the main quest of Penacony and in numerous events and side quests, flaws and imperfections of Family(note: of the Family on Penacony) are numerous. We have an entire “Ode to Fool” in the Grand Theatre about internal bloodthirsty war between the Family, where two of the seven families of Penacony ceased to exist. When even Family: those who preach the Odes of Harmony don’t act as they preach, are not harmonious, don’t show compassion and forgiveness, it is extremely hard to still believe in its teachings. And from that, the belief in people starts to slowly crumble as the very belief in a possibility of a paradise preached by the Xipe, is tested.
That is what turns him to Order. The feeling that while the paradise of Harmony is theoretically possible, how much suffering must people experience before it actually arrives. And when will it arrive? And IF it will arrive? These doubts in human inherent desire to change for the better leads to the idea: “And what if they don’t change? Then why take the risks? Why not to create something that guarantees their safety, happiness and protection?” His desire for Order is still born from his love for humanity.
Ⅱ
And while the shift in beliefs did in fact happen, it wasn’t completed and some beliefs in Harmony remain, alongside doubts about the philosophy of Order.
To prove that, let’s remember the Grand Theatre part of the quest (“Everything that Rises Must Converge”).
Before that Dreammaster has a particularly interesting conversation with Sunday. Sunday not only changes their plan, taking Robin’s place in the plan and then he asks Dreammaster why Penacony was the chosen planet to bring “paradise” of the Order. If he was completely convinced, why would he pose these questions?
Sunday several times brings the part of 107,336 souls of the Oak Family in his monologues. Why? Because he uses them to give self-validation to his beliefs. It comes not only from his desire to grant “paradise” to everyone (and this guys as stated dreamed about the paradise of Order), but also from his self-perceived responsibility as the Head of the Oak Family to stand up to wishes and desires of his subordinates, to protect them, and as the man with greatest position among them, to fulfil the hardest task. Because if people he is in charge of follow and support his views, not only it gives him more belief in his set of beliefs(ha), but also gives him even greater responsibility to prove that their faith in him, in Order is not misplaced.
In first two acts he displays before us shortcomings of the Harmony, trying to display himself as the ardent believer of the Order:
In the first act “Ode to Prisoner” he says that the freedom was not really achieved in Penacony’s great Independence War, posing a doubt that the ideal of Harmony even existed in Penacony since the very beginning.
In the second act “Ode to Fool” the theme of not so harmonic Harmony remains. Sunday talks about internal civil war between the Family, that eradicated two of the seven families on Penacony. How “harmonic” it is!
But in the last and most important act “Ode to Order” has a surprisingly different theme, hidden in it.
It is supposedly talking about the future of Penacony, but there is something more if you listen to its content once again:
General: “Without a ruler who would protect the weak and fight back against the tyrants?”
Chansellor: “We must assist each other in protecting the weak, just as we must assist each other in opposing the tyrannical.”
This dialogue argues that the very measures Sunday preaches, are not required for the coexistence and unification are also an option. Case of how differently Order and Harmony solve one problem.
Jester: “Without a ruler, who will make the stars follow their paths, the tides rise and fall, and allow life to grow?”
C: “These things did as they will long before the ruler appeared, just as they will continue to do with rulers gone.”
Where the Order requires an all-mighty divine king, controlling the world (like God-Emperor of Mankind from Warhammer), Harmony simply says that actually such beings are not needed.
Minister: “However, now that we have bid farewell to our ruler. Who shall take their place?”
C: “We no longer require a ruler, for we were originally all rulers who stand above all things.”
Once again, order preaches about the ruler on the top of everything, the one who has all of the rights and makes all of decisions. But harmony doesn’t work that way. Harmony preaches that if every person has equal rights to enter its paradise, then they are essentially equal. Where Order differentiates people and treats them differently according to THEIR criteria, harmony does not as THEY are all-embracing.
The choice of the position of Chansellor as the one giving answers is deliberate. It is another innuendo on differences between Harmony and Order. In Order king takes the power and pushes everyone under his control. Chancellor, as the representation of Harmony in this argument, is a position not a person. He is subject to change, unlike king. Unlike king, Chancellor is chosen among the people, by the people. He serves as one man being the voice of many people, for they have chosen him as a Chancellor because their ideals are the same and thus, they have entrusted him to fulfil their ideals in reality in their stead.
Some people were not satisfied that the arguments were not posed against Sunday by the Astral Express. Well, this entire act serves as a counter to his arguments, showing the point of view of Harmony arguing against the necessity of ideals of Order. Most importantly, they don’t disprove hid arguments completely, but rather pose a possible alternative take on things.
The Clockwork doesn’t work on puppets because they are “satisfied”. But what gives satisfaction: Order or Harmony? In my opinion, Harmony. Remember: in THEIR paradise there is “peace bestowed, sorrows and strife released.”
The “king” in the text obviously refers to Ena the Order, and the last talk from the “Future” in the act is about “final rites” to the king, that there is no need to seek THEIR existence, nor remember THEM. It illustrates the final confusion of Sunday: if Ena didn’t fight back while being consumed, if the philosophy of Harmony prevailed in the confrontation among the Paths, why try to restore the Order?
And after that particular act he chose to reveal to us the finale of Ena’s story. That THEY were banished to oblivion by the united will of the people who defied Order. And THEIR death was praised alongside praises for the appearance of Harmony – the ideal that prevailed on Penacony in the end.
And that is what actually 3 is actually about. Puppets(Members of the Beyond the Sky Choir) ask what they and everyone else should do after the “king(Ena)” disappeared.
They feel no safety and out of their comfort zone when the one that controlled everything about their lives suddenly disappeared. And Chancellor’s answers are the representation of the ideology of Harmony, that you don’t need to be controlled to strive in life, for that there is more to universe and that the “king” is not actually required for betterment of society, that society can harmonize and evolve on their own, that the unity of people can replace the “king”. Ironically, “the Ode to Order” doesn’t glorify Order but rather disproves it from being the one and only universal truth.
In this act Sunday actually reveals, intended or not, that he doesn’t disprove Harmony’s ideal, that he subconsciously feels that it can stand on par with the ideal of Order.
Then, Sunday poses between us three questions, each one has different answers depending on your set of believes: order or Harmony. Notice, that Sunday doesn’t give his own answers to the questions.
“Is darkness equal to daylight?”
This question is very metaphorical. Radiance and light, eradicating darkness and giving protection to those under the light are a repeated theme in the ideology of the Order (“I shall ascend to the heavens, becoming the scorching sun. Bathed in my light, my people shall flourish, while all evil shall be eradicated” / “Those who live in the shadows do not bear the right to tread the illuminated stage.” / “I now permit you to gaze into the sun [hardest line in the game btw]”) But radiance is also a term sometimes used to describe Xipe. The greatest difference lies in the fact that what Order will not tolerate (“darkness”), harmony will be able to co-exist with and eventually embrace. So for Order they are different, but for Harmony not at all.
“Are sinners equal to the righteous?”
Order punishes the unjust and uplifts the righteous. For it, they are not equal. But for Harmony they are, mostly because before Xipe the very concept of sinners doesn’t exist. Harmony is all-embracing, for everyone can change for the better and be redeemed.
It is a discourse in philosophy: first question was about whether are you able to tolerate something that goes against you. While Harmony can, Order cannot (Sunday can as literally shown in the quest so he leans more to Harmony in that part). Second question was about whether people can change for the better and be redeemed. Order doesn’t believe in it, Harmony does.
“If you are born weak, which god should you turn for solace?”
It is another question to choose between philosophies because Sunday struggles to choose himself. If you are weak and you bow before someone(“king”) for the protection then this is a choice befitting Order, but if you choose to cooperate with others, uplift one another and “listen beating of billions of hearts holding you on their embrace” then this is the choice of Harmony.
Notice, that Sunday doesn’t consider us as enemies at all. As he says: “I genuinely wish to avoid a violent clash with my esteemed guests from afar.” When Astral Express team asks Sunday why did he invite us to the duel, he responds: “Because our shared goals give equal weight to the beliefs we strive for.” He regards everything happening more like a debate of two equally valid philosophies. Even in the fight with him (second one) he still invites us to join his chorus of Order. And he says “our final talk is concluded” only when he turns into his Embryo of Philosophy form, when literally everyone who could has risen against him. And then he reveals his true emotions:
“If your ‘paradise’ can save more people, sever my path with your hands”
He knows he is not infallible, that his plan can be wrong, that there is a possibility of making better choices, better decisions. And he asks us to prove, that Harmony after all is a stronger concept then that of Order. And his quote before that really makes everything extremely ironic:
“If we had never experienced solitude, how could we embark on different paths?”
Once again, this solitude refers to the times when he still completely followed Harmony. Yet he was the only person on the entire Penacony because of his great compassion, who actually followed what Xipe preached. Yet, in this he was alone. How can you be in Harmony with anyone, if you are alone. The irony is in the fact, that if Robin didn’t leave Penacony, of if he met another genuine believer, he wouldn’t have turn to Order and he would remain under Xipe. With many similarities of Order and Harmony: the epitome of Order is loneliness, being a sole ruler of everything, the epitome of Harmony is a unity of numerous people.
“And thus, my talk about Sunday has concluded. Next part is about Ena.”
Ⅲ
While his monologue about history of Ena can also be interpreted as parts above, it is much more interesting to discuss it when talking about Ena THEMSELVES.
“Let us commence with the dawning of the world… After the Dusk Wars, darkness veiled the sky, and chaos consumed the earth. Ena the Order emerged, destined to restore all existence. That marked the first day.”
The Dusk Wars are one of the most ancient (if not the most) periods of history we know about. Ena emerging at that time, makes THEM one of the oldest Aeons alongside Long, Hooh, Qlipoth and Oroboros.
” THEY gathered nebulae and forged them into picks, thus creating a grand lyre with black and white keys. Strike the white keys, and the sun rose. Strike the black keys moon and the rose. And so the cycle of day and night arose. That marked the second day. “
“THEY transmuted streams of stars into inked nibs, creating symbols to be pronounced and counted. THEY molded stardust into flowing rivers, assigning the righteous upstream and the unjust downstream. Thus, all things were marked and the world learned to discern between good and evil. That marked the third and fourth days. “
“THEY used the planetary rings to establish the law, forging a code of conduct among the masses. A grand lyre with black and white symbols of articulation and numerical notation took the form of musical notes. The downward-flowing river became a melody, and the cannon of law dictated the form. Thus, all mortals found their unique place within this symphony. That marked the fifth and sixth days. “
Ena, as we know was a control freak, at much bigger scale and extent, then Sunday could have ever hoped to become. We know that «Ena's harmonic songs seems to align within a three-dimensional framework, akin to an emperor maintaining hierarchical order among all creatures» Not only people, but the movement of celestial bodies were under THEIR control. THEY wanted to and almost controlled everything in the known cosmos. So, THEY were the only person responsible for everything. And when THEY were consumed, the manager of everything disappeared and the scales of order and discord lost their balance. That is why Hooh intervened and took THEIR responsibilities.
“THEY imbued world with meaning, perfecting all things in the heavens and earth. Then, THEY rested from the labors of creation. Yet, all beings cried to Ena – ‘Under the banner of the Order, you have defined all things in the Cosmos… but this made us realize that we are but puppets in your hands!’ – Thus, on that day, all beings united and cast the Aeon into the abyss of oblivion. That marked the seventh day. “
And this is the most interesting part. We know that Ena was consumed by Xipe, so why does Sunday refer to THEIR death as an action, made by humans?
As we know, Xipe “hails from multiple harmonious celestial words”, “a plural Aeon” and “THEY are the amalgamation of thousands of entities”. Thus, I pose that Xipe ascension was not a process of accension of a one person who somehow become an Aeon, but rather that several beings in a moment of unity (of “harmony”) were ascending as one. Next bit is purely theoretical:
But who could provide such unity before the existence of Harmony? Only the Beyond the Sky Choir – followers of Ena could understand the true extent of Ena’s control over everything and unify to create a change. Thus, mortals ascended into Aeon, befitting their shared beliefs, and from the Beyond the Sky Choir, Xipe arose with a new symphony of Harmony.
ⅠⅤ
Also, some other interesting bits from 2.2. storyline:
The most overlooked part of 2.2 quest for me is that part before boss battle when Sunday says that he doesn’t intend to either resurrect Ena or become a new Aeon of Order. While the actual possibility of such actions remains “enigmatic, we can now speculate that it could be possible to take control of a masterless Path or revive its master. I speculate that when we finally reach strongest Emanators level of poweallies/etc. the enemies we will be facing before actual Aeons will be unique beings like that: fallen Aeons in the process of resurrection or people in the process of becoming a new Aeon of a Path without one.
Another interesting bit of lore about Ena is that while she was “consumed” by Xipe, her Path still lingers in the cosmos masterless. While it was known about Paths of other fallen Aeons it is interesting that even assimilation by a broader concept Aeon isn’t enough to completely eradicate the Path from the face of the cosmos.
Some other connections that I noticed about Sunday while rewatching 2.2 quest were surprising even for me. Name a planet where the ruler intentionally left their subordinates in ignorance about the truth about the events for the sole reason of protecting them? It’s Belobog with Bronya and Seele (I could talk about similarities and differences of Bronya and Sunday but that would make already long post even longer). And this is why Ena was able to persuade Qlipoth. Because Qlipoth shares with THEM that general theme of protection. Because their Paths partly overlap. Because Preservation is about keeping everything dangerous behind the walls (in this case dangerous information about Cocolia), and everything inside the walls is safe, protected, or you could say “in Order”.
Ⅴ
P.S. I feel like in this quest there is still so much more to discuss(and I could write EVEN MORE), but this long wall of text is already too out of character from me as a humble follower of Enigmata.

I have traveled a bit lately and have gotten behind on my thank you post, my deepest apologies, I know how it feels to send something out and not know if it ever got to its destination!
I deeply love this sub and am still amazed at how talented, kind and awesome you all are.
u/_pickupthepieces thanks for the Owl card and exchanging happy mail with me. Yes this week we have had plenty of sunshine!! Although temps are still yo-yoing.
u/amyt13 thank you so much for the Madeira postcard. Sounds like you had an amazing time there. I took my family there for New Year's Eve one year. I book a excursion on a boat with drinks and snacks, I few minutes before midnight they sail out in to the harbor. The fireworks display was truly AMAZING, they were going off in sync 360 degrees all around the boat.
u/articfox_12 thank you for the handmade postcard. Very clever idea to laminate and send. We did and will have a wonderful vacation. I like to travel about every month from March to Nov...
u/babyraspberry x 2 thank you for the Spring mail postcard and all the spring themed ephemera, good for you for taking Mable out for so many walks. I bet she loves it. Thank you too for the Munro's Books postcard, I love the Carl Sagan book quote. I really want to visit Vancouver Island, I hear their gardens are stunning!
u/cake-at-midnight thank you for the thank you postcard, I am glad you liked the birthday card I made for you :) I love my Cricut, I don't use it nearly as much as I should. You can create some amazing things with it!
u/cassius1213 thank you very much for the Awesome Eclipse postmarked postcard. Love that they actually created a specific postmark for the total eclipse.
u/DanerysWon lol love the ballerina hippo postcard, thanks so much, sounds like you had an amazing time at Disney. What a fun place to honeymoon too!
u/DaniGeek what a beautiful hummingbird card you found for me on your treasure hunt! And so fitting as I just saw my first hummingbird yesterday, finally!! Thanks for your book recommendations, it just so happens that I have not read Life of Pi but I just got tickets to see the theater production! I am trying to decide if I should read the book or watch the movie before I see the play. Thoughts? Redwall is a series I read with my son years ago. and the Dresden files is something my son also recently suggested.
u/doughe29 thank you for the Holland MI tulip card. I went to the tulip festival a few years back, very lovely. Yes, Cincy Zoo has a wonderful display of tulips, do come one year. It also has a great Holiday light display in Nov/Dec that is worth seeing.
u/duygusu thank you for the sparkly Awesome thank you card. I am glad you liked the card I sent, wishing you a quick settling in process. Thanks too for the pretty pansy sticker.
u/ez330 thank you for the Ohio Eclipse postcard. Did you not get to see it? We drove up to Dayton to the Air Museum and the clouds parted at just the right time for us to enjoy the majority of the eclipse. Love all the cool space themed stamps you used.
u/Ginger_ninjah thank you for the sunflower mini card and all the fun stickers. Sounds like you have been busy, still loving your Ninja food processor? LOL still shredding cheese?
u/HexagonalRainbow x 2 Thank you for the Legoland postcard. I could see how it would be really easy to spend way more money than intended at the Brick Factory. And a outlet store too - yikes! How many things have you built with what you bought though? I bet a ton of cool things. Secondly, thanks for the Mount Fuji postcard, very pretty! How did you qualification go for work?
u/keqani thanks for the Krieg postcard, love all the cute stickers you adorned the postcard with!
u/libertyprogrammer x 3 thank you for the Cincy OH postcard. Hmmm Leicester UK in 2044? Not sure I would make plans that far ahead lol. Thank you for the Houses of Parliament postcard, I walked around that area so often, I will respond to your update soon. Believe it or not I just today got your postcard you sent from Kruger National Park! It is dated Dec 20th. Can't believe it took so long to find its way to me. Awesome that you saw so many amazing animals!!
u/Mediocre_Radish_7216 thanks for the wonderful and cute snail mail postcard. You should do a scavenger hunt sometime, I had so much fun with it.
u/melhen16 Thank you for the National Postcard Week rainbow postcard, and thanks for the history lesson on the birth of the postcard, wonder what John Charlton would think about the industry he started?!
u/Mysteryvus x 2 thank you for the beautiful lemon thank you card, it is really very pretty. I am glad you liked the bday card I made as I thought about the things you mentioned you liked. Thanks to for the travel postcard, I really do like to travel. I am calling the travel agent my friend used tomorrow to start the planning of our Australia/NZ trip :) wish me luck!
u/ninayjang thank you for the Rome postcard, I love those art type postcards. I will tell you more about my NM trip soon.
u/PinkPengin thank you for the birds and penguin upcycle postcard. Good to hear from you my friend. I too have a pile of things I am supposed to finish up......I keep getting distracted with making travel plans, people visiting, or one of many other things that grabs my attention.
u/princecowboy thank you for the pen and ink dog face postcard. You were absolutely right, by the time I got this you had made it to your 100 flair - Congrats again. And by now you have received my 100 flair congrats card LOL.
u/purpleroots thank you for the CRAVE postcard with all your doodles :)
u/raspberrypoppyseed thank you for the awesome Disney Gang postcard. Did you have an amazing visit? Did you see any of the parades? They are one of my favorite things to do there.
u/rennbrig thank you for the beautiful artwork postcard of "Shaw Island Meadow" it really is so pretty, so glad you reached your sending goal :)
u/TheFeistyFox thank you so much for my sticker bomb scavenger birthday card, it was fun getting something to stretch my bday celebration this far :) thanks for the washi samples too, love the watermelon!!
u/TyeDyeAmish thank you for the bull fighting postcard, I would have to agree, the bulls probably don't like it! It is not something that I would want to see. I have heard how they are done and I just don't think I could watch it.
u/zenshark33 x 2 thank you for the Happy Spring orange flowers postcard, I have moved several times and the think I like the most is getting rid of things so I don't have to move them, so I am right there with you! Thank you for the purple flower Random Happy Mail postcard, always fun to get unexpected happy mail!
u/Zznightzzz thank you for the birthday postcard from my Scavenger hunt! I loved hearing all about your island and the people there. No problem on its delay in getting sent, been there, done that!! I love that you sent it. I still have one other person that I have not received from so if it makes you feel better you aren't the last one :)
u/wabisabi_sf, u/ninajyang and u/littlemermaidxx thank you so much for the Meet Up postcard from the SF stamp show. What a great venue to meet up and get together!!

This is party 2 of a discussion regarding how poly could have been handled a little better in BG3. I recommend you read through the first part here: https://new.reddit.com/BaldursGate3/comments/1crb2s7/how_the_polyamory_could_have_been_handled/ so you can get context and I sound like less of a rambling weirdo.
​
Astarion:
Out of all the discussions, people were the most confused by this choice. Not only does making him poly at the last minute feel contrary to a lot of statements he himself makes throughout his romance arc, but it also runs counter to what other characters say about him and his backstory as a whole. He is one of the most insecure characters in the game, he was trained for two hundred years to lie in order to avoid punishment, and he has far more trauma and healing to do than the other characters. Astarion is the most likely to lie about the Halsin relationship in order to avoid appearing weak or demanding. Out of the poly players who expressed disappointment, Astarion was the one that bothered them the most, since many felt he wasn’t fully consenting.
Most of my reasons for why he’s not a good poly option (from a development standpoint) have already been stated in earlier sections, so most of this will be spent diving into the “Is he fine with poly or not?” debate, which had me intrigued. (This will be the longest section and won’t be as connected to the overall topic, so if you want to skip to the Halsin part, feel free.)
I’ll start with the main arguments I see defending him being poly.
Argument 1: He says he’s fine with Halsin and the twins, so we should take him at his word.
While this can definitely be argued, and it’s not good to treat an adult man like a baby, his constant lying as a defense mechanism and current issues with sex/relationships do need to be taken into account (if not by the players then at least by the developers). There were plenty of people (some of them victims of SA) who talked about their own experience of tolerating poly because they were scared of their partner leaving or finding them too demanding/narrow minded. This led to their self-esteem and views on relationships growing worse rather than better. For someone like Astarion, who outright admits he has never had a healthy relationship and doesn’t want to lose this one, it’s understandable that people view his response as a coping mechanism rather than his own genuine feelings. There were also two different mental health professionals who reminded players that although a few victims of abuse do enter poly relationships, statistically most do not and it is far more common for them to agree to poly relationships out of pressure (which often make the person’s mental issues even worse in the long run).
Argument 2: He claims to be fine with open relationships during Act 1.
This is countered by the fact that everything he says about himself in Act 1 is a lie (unless he’s specifically talking about Cazador). He lies about wanting to sleep with you, he lies about his identity until he bites you, he claims to only care about sex (then later admits it makes him feel disgust and loathing), and he brags about his former conquests (which you later find out he regrets and feels guilt over). His statements that he’s fine with open relationships are made when choosing between him and another Origin character in Act 1 or 2, but this is also said at a time when his act is still up and he isn’t in love with the player. If you choose between him and another Origin character AFTER he confesses and let’s his guard down, he insists that he is NOT fine with sharing. “You’ve decided to replace me?” If the player says they care about both him and the other person, he’ll say, “Don’t give me that. I can see what this is.” Then he promptly breaks up with them. This second reaction is not only said using his genuine voice (whereas before he was still using his fake one), but a few poly people mentioned that this isn’t a normal reaction from someone who is fine with poly.
This isn’t to shame people who want to think Astarion is fine with it, or to judge players who went through with the poly relationship. Instead, this is once again asking the developers why they chose this option, rather than someone who wouldn’t spark so much debate or remind abuse victims of their past without giving them a dialogue option to address it. (This is a similar issue with Astarion’s brothel scene. They should have either removed it by having him say he’s not comfortable again, or at the very least, let players talk to him about it after.)
I think it’s pretty clear that after reading the discussions and evidence both sides provided, I myself lean heavily to one side. However, the main defense I personally have for the opposite side is that the writers were sometimes vague about Astarion’s true preferences and wishes. I especially felt this during the origin playthrough, where his narrator would constantly flip between him liking hedonism and despising it. It gave the impression that two opposing authors were wrestling while writing him, unable to decide where he truly stood on things. It felt similar to how the devs tried to write a respectful story of overcoming abuse and the fear of being sexualized, only to turn around and repeatedly sexualize the character in both the game and promotional material. I really wish the writers and developers had picked a lane and stuck with it.
Now I’ll get into the evidence for the counter theory: That he’s not actually open to sharing, but says he’s fine with it to avoid appearing weak or losing his partner. I personally prefer this theory because it makes the writing seem more intentional, adds more nuance to an already complex character, and feels more realistic. However, even if this is what the writer or actor were trying to convey, it’s still a far worse alternative to simply keeping him out of the poly options in the first place.

1. His hedonistic playboy persona is stated to be a façade. Anything he says in act one about being poly and wanting open relationships is stated when he is both wearing his mask and before he trusts the player. Every statement about relationships here has to be taken with a grain of salt because his mask is centered around attracting victims for Cazador. Since he hated bringing “sweet innocents” to his master, it makes sense that he would initially try to attract the opposite (“criminals and brothel goers”) by sleeping around and making a show of wanting casual relationships.
   
2. Once he gets comfortable in the relationship, he makes it clear he is looking for someone who will make him feel safe and value him for his personality over his body (“I don’t want you to think of me in terms of sex. I don’t think I want anyone to.” “How do you want me to see you?” “As a person. Is that so much to ask?”). If the player chooses to sexualize him, he will go through with it, then regret it later and break up. He makes it very clear in Act two that he’s not actually looking for casual hookups because they make him feel “ashamed and alone”. So it is odd that he’s fine with Halsin (who seems to care more about the sex and the body than the emotional bonding) and the brothel (which is solely about sex). One can argue that he’s fine with the poly relationship because he’s not taking part, but Halsin DOES wish for him to take part ‘eventually’.
   
3. Jumping off of that, Astarion’s dialogue makes it clear he wants a partner who cares about more than just sex, but if you tell him you want to date Halsin solely for the sex (and because Astarion’s not doing it with you), he will say that’s fine and he doesn’t mind the player seeking sex from others. This seems to counter his previous statements and arc. It’s especially strange that even if you reinforce his greatest insecurity (that his refusal to have sex has made his partner immediately seek out other people), he will still claim to be fine with it.
   
4. In terms of dialogue, the actor for Astarion seems to be very intentional when using the fake theatrical masking voice vs. the more genuine softspoken voice he uses when he’s comfortable and being honest. The fake voice is blatantly obvious throughout the Act 1 romance, in Act 2 if you force him to obey the blood merchant (his voice goes from genuinely scared to flirtatious and over the top within seconds), and in Cazador’s mansion where he’ll speak genuinely to you, then be over the top when addressing Cazador’s servants. He’ll often use jokes and loud laughter to conceal his true feelings and insecurities. Meanwhile his laughter in the confession scene, graveyard scene, and Spawn epilogue is quiet and subdued because he’s being genuine. It feels like a strange coincidence that when addressing both the Halsin situation and the brothel situation, his voice becomes very loud and high pitched again, he immediately starts making jokes, and his laughter is over the top. This hints at him not wanting to go along with either situation, but he’s putting himself through it because this is what his partner wants and since he’s tolerated sexual stuff he hated before, he can do it again. Plus, after killing Cazador, he wants to ensure no one views him as weak. He has to prove to himself and his lover (at least in his mind) that refusing to take the Ascendant powers was good and he’s strong enough to not need it. I can understand players not picking up on the voice changes (because not everyone is going to replay the game or even care) but those who did notice it believe it’s done intentionally (either by the actor or the writer or both). If it’s not intentional, then it’s a strange decision to make from a developer’s standpoint.
   
5. Throughout the threads I read, most poly people made it clear that poly relationships require complete trust, clear communication, and general confidence. Astarion himself admits to lacking all of those traits to some degree. If you don’t romance him, he will literally not trust any of the characters right up to the epilogue (he’ll hold a knife behind his back while talking to the Dark Urge). Even though he does seem to genuinely trust his lover by Act 2, he will still lie to them several times. He lies about being fine with the drow twins (he states he’ll leave if he hates if but never does despite disassociating), feigns confidence when the player says they’ll become a mind flayer (he says he only cares about them becoming ugly but expresses his true fears only after the fight, that he’s worried they are no longer the person he fell in love with by losing their soul), he manipulates his lover when confronting Cazador despite being conflicted about it himself and wanting reassurance, and (on a more minor note) he continuously claims he’s doesn’t care about Yenna or the Gur children despite getting upset when they’re in danger. This is a character who, even after he kills his tormentor, struggles to be honest with his partner. That isn’t a good combination when addressing poly. (Again, it could be worked through in real life, but is better avoided in video games where there isn’t time to address it).
   
6. There are also plenty of situations where he agrees to do things he outright hates. In Act 1, we know he is (at least somewhat) disgusted by having sex with the player or Laezel, but he’ll do it. In Act 2, he tries to be genuine about not wanting to touch the player until he no longer feels disgust, but if the player pressures him, he will cave and obey. He does break up with the player afterwards, but it is only after he has gone through with the act. In Act 3, he will state three times that he doesn’t want to take the tadpole, but if the player pressures him by bringing up his darkest fear, he will give in. Worse, he will give in and STILL stay with the player romantically despite them clearly manipulating him to do something they know he fears. He does thankfully break up if you fail the checks, but if you succeed, he goes through with it. If he’s willing to cave to something as huge as altering his entire body, it makes sense that he would cave to something he views as more minor (like tolerating unwanted sexual acts in a brothel or sharing his partner).
   
7. I didn’t know this until I saw others mention it but there are points where he will flirt with NPCs if he is single (the girl in the sewers), but he uses neutral dialogue if he is dating the player. This reinforces the theory that he doesn’t actually plan to sleep around or be with others as he claims (though there are some dialogues that I think slipped through the cracks where he still flirts with others despite being in a committed relationship).
   
8. If Halsin propositions you after Cazador has been killed, Astarion no longer asks if you’re doing this because he hasn’t been fulfilling your sexual needs. However, he does give another response that feels out of place: “I’ve realized it doesn’t matter if anything (in our relationship) changes.” Parallel this with what he said at the graveyard, that “no matter what happens, I don’t want to lose this (relationship).” It’s very odd to have him say he doesn’t want to lose the relationship, but then the next day he is totally okay with losing it. Granted, it is nice to know that even if the characters break up, he’ll be fine, but it does feel contradictory for his character, especially with how devastated he acts if they DO end the relationship. If the Halsin statement is just an act and he’s overcompensating, however, then it feels more intentional on the writer’s part.
   
9. I’ve seen lots of people say that Ascended Astarion also shouldn’t be fine with poly, and I agree, though it’s for different reasons than Spawn Astarion. Unlike SA, I think Ascended would absolutely do the brothel scene because 1. He’s actively suppressing his trauma and playing a new character and 2. He feels in control in the brothel and is the focus. However, with Halsin, he doesn’t have any control. For someone obsessed with possessing his lover and ensuring they can never leave him, letting them sleep with Halsin doesn’t fit his writing. He isn’t participating. He doesn’t know what they’re doing behind his back. For all he knows, Halsin and the player might be discussing how to kill Astarion or escape him. In some deleted party banter, Halsin literally tells Ascended Astarion he doesn’t approve of the abusive spawn/master relationship they’ve formed. With that knowledge, not only should Halsin not be willing to join a poly relationship that he thinks is unhealthy, but he has a motivation to help the player get away from AA (and AA would know this). I could see Spawn Astarion hesitantly agreeing to the Halsin thing despite not wanting to share, but AA just wouldn’t. It feels contrary to both his and Halsin’s writing.
   
10. This is the second most convincing piece of evidence for me: The Drow twins. If you ask Astarion to join a ‘group activity’, he’ll use his fake voice and flighty laugh and agree to go through it, saying he’ll run away if he doesn’t like it and comparing the act to burning in the sun (a little concerning that he’s already comparing the two). Then during the act, he will immediately ask the player what they want “us” to do. Not only is he lumping himself in with the prostitutes, but he is also doing something that an Origin playthrough reveals is a trigger for him (he tells the drow twins that being ‘told what to do’ reminds him of his time as a slave). If the player tries to check up on him, he ignores them and says he wishes he was drunk. Then he disassociates and never brings it up again. This has been viewed two ways: either he doesn’t want to have casual sex anymore and wants to be in a one-on-one relationship, or he does want to do stuff like this but just needs to heal more before he can. I lean toward the first assumption because he is acting flighty and fake BEFORE the sexual act even begins. If he really wanted to do it but changed his mind after, it makes more sense for him to sound genuine at first, then fake halfway through.
    

But the main thing that sticks out to me is his reaction to you asking for only ONE drow twin. If you do, he will accuse you of having a thing for prostitutes and call it embarrassing, then glare at you for the rest of the conversation. This is especially sad because not only have the player’s actions made him feel like a prostitute again, but now he seems to be wondering if you started dating him BECAUSE he was a prostitute, not for who he really is.
Compare this to the Halsin situation and the drow ‘group activity’. For Halsin, he says he was expecting this for months. He’s had several months to plan his reaction and decide what he’s willing to tolerate. Hence, he has a very rehearsed reaction. With the twins, he had less time to anticipate this but probably also worried about it (especially if the player asked about them earlier and he said no. Now he expects the player to try again and has planned accordingly). Again, this response feels rehearsed and fake. The only response where he uses his real voice is when you ask for one of the twins alone. This is something he likely wouldn’t plan for, so we get to see his gut reaction for the first time: he doesn’t want you to do it.
Now some people argue that he’s fine with Halsin and not the other Origin characters because Halsin is just a fling and won’t try to take his spot. If that’s the case, he should be fine with the twins too. If anything, they are even less of a threat. Yet he doesn’t want you to do it and responds accordingly. If he truly was poly, he would respond like Karlach did and tell you to have fun, or like Shadowheart telling you to give him a heads up first. But we don’t see that.
One other thing about the twins that I felt I could point out: if you or the twins ask to do a group activity before Cazador is killed, Astarion says he’s not comfortable with this yet. The “yet” part has been pointed out to show that he’s fine with it after Cazador has been killed (even though he still disassociates later). However, another explanation of the “yet” part is that he’s trying to soften the blow because he’s scared of using a blunt NO. We see this with Araj, the blood merchant. Even though he is absolutely disgusted with her treatment of him and how she’s “defiling” him with her fantasies, his rejections of her are very soft and nervous. Even when reinforced by his friend/lover, he says “It’s still a no, I’m afraid” with a smile. Turning down sexual encounters is tough for him, even when he has people backing him up, so I can see him using words like “yet” or “I’m afraid” to soften the blow. I know several people in real life who do this, despite later admitting there was no “yet”.
There’s another part of this dialogue with the early twins that I want to point out (really overanalyzing here but if we want to believe the writers do things intentionally/with a lot of forethought, I think it’s okay to read into the words they use). When Astarion says he’s not comfortable with the twins, the player’s response is “I wouldn’t ask such a thing of you”. This will raise his approval and make him respond positively. The promise you give him is not “I’ll ask them later, after we’ve killed Cazador” or “I would have liked to but okay” (that one doesn’t trigger his positive response). He only approves of you saying you won’t ask him to do things like this (stated in a tense that implies you will NEVER ask him to do such a thing, regardless of Cazador’s stabbed or unstabbed state). This could have been the writer hinting that if you bring him back after, you’re going back on your promise and thus have to see the disassociating scene. That…or the writer wasn’t thinking too hard and we are simply thinking too much.

1. With all that out of the way, we’ll get to the final point that solidifies this theory for me personally. It’s the statements of Shadowheart and Minthara if you ask to do a three-way relationship with one of them and Astarion. Shadowheart’s response is: “I think you’re overestimating his willingness to share. He may seem like a carefree hedonist, but there’s something fragile beneath the façade.” Minthara says something nearly identical, that sharing would wound his pride and he is far too fragile to handle it. You could even add Astarion’s line from the other end, where if you ask Astarion to share with you and Karlach, he will say they shouldn’t because Karlach loves the player and relationships are fragile (implying that he either thinks open relationships don’t work if there’s love involved, or perhaps he himself can only do open relationships if he doesn’t love the other person).

The main argument I’ve seen disproving these statements by Shadowheart and Minthara is that they’re just plain wrong about him. If so, it’s a strange writing choice to not only have both of them be wrong about the exact same thing, but they’re both high wisdom characters who are proven to understand Astarion in a lot of ways other characters don’t. (All three of them have been enslaved and manipulated, Minthara comprehends the depths of his relationship with Cazador within minutes of being in the camp, and Shadowheart is one of the closest to Astarion in terms of friendship and liking him.)
If Astarion actually is fine with poly, then it means both Shadowheart and Minthara are wrong. That means the writers either made a mistake or made a very weird writing choice.
However, if Astarion is actually pretending to be fine with sharing as they say, not only is the writing consistent but these dialogues become very clever foreshadowing. I want to give the writers the benefit of the doubt and believe they did a good job with Astarion, so I prefer to lean into the theory that he’s pretending because it makes more sense for him overall.
That was quite a long tangent and somewhat unnecessary, but he’s a character whose mannerisms and statements are meant to be heavily analyzed, so it’s fun to go more in depth. Let’s move on.

1. ISSUES WITH HOW HALSIN WAS PRESENTED

We’re finally at the last point, and in a way the direct cause of this entire thread: Halsin. Now, I have no issue with Halsin being poly (again, he’s listed as one of my four ideal options for it) but I do have several issues with how he was written and presented. The Shadowheart part I will skip over because I already got into it, but there are many other problems to address and most of them could have been fixed very easily.

1. He is not presented as poly until Act 3. I was reading through a thread full of people who loved him and several of them were early access players who had requested he become a romance option. However, the reason they requested him was very important. In EA, all three of the male options seemed immature (Wyll), condescending (Gale), or straight up evil (Astarion). Meanwhile Halsin was, in their words, a mature man who seems like the type to settle down with them in a cottage and help raise their kids. This is the impression he gives and what drew many people to him. As a result, many of these players were extremely disappointed to reach Act 3 once the game was out and discover that not only was he the complete opposite of their initial impression, but he won’t even stay with the player after the game ends (in most cases). Honestly, if I was a developer and saw that they liked him for those earlier reasons, I wouldn’t make him strictly poly because that wasn’t what the players wanted. They wanted him because he was muscular and a good, stable man. It was a very odd choice to turn around and give the players the opposite of what they asked for. But if the devs were truly determined to go the poly route, they should have at least gone back to Act 1 and 2 and slipped in some hints that he was poly. I saw some newer players who recently played the game for the first time and wanted to romance him for the aforementioned reasons (stable, mature, kind, huge). They ignored all other romances until Act 3, then got hit with the “I’m only poly” discussion. Had they known he wasn’t monogamous, they wouldn’t have blown off all the other options.
   
2. But let’s ignore that. We’re focusing on the world where he IS completely poly (though some were arguing that it should at least be an option to ask if he’ll try being monogamous with the player.) The way he is presented still has a lot of issues according to poly players. For one, the way he tries to butt in on the relationship is done in a really sketchy manner (especially considering what some of the Origin characters have gone through/are currently going through). It would have been far better to do what they did with Minsc and give the PLAYER the option to hit on Halsin, rather than the other way around. Have them offer poly to him, and then he can discuss it from there. Having the proposition come from Halsin himself puts him in a negative light, and it’s pretty clear the writers didn’t actually want to portray him as a bad person so they messed up here.
   
3. The flagging for Halsin’s dialogues is awful and despite seeing people report it for eight months, that hasn’t changed. Even if you pick the most neutral option, he will still hit on you by saying “I think you feel the same way”. Not a good idea. “I HOPE you feel the same way” would have been infinitely better. Women often have to deal with people assuming their friendly, professional conversation is something more when it isn’t. It’s not a great idea to bring that into fantasy games too. It hit too close to home for some.
   
4. Even if you use the most neutral option at the Act 1 party (“Go have fun and mingle”), your main dialogue option the next day is “Sorry for coming on so strong last night”. It’s a strange thing to say. Again, I’m not sure how developers missed this and why it was never patched out. I saw people reporting it since the release.
   
5. He will also ask for a relationship at neutral approval. In most of my playthroughs, I stopped talking to him beyond the Thaniel quest and avoided asking about his personal life. He still led his proposition with “I think you feel the same way”. How does he know when we only spoke to him three times? They should have at least required you to go through all his extra dialogues before triggering this.
   
6. When Halsin says he loves you, you have two options: reject him straight away, or ask about his opinions a little more. Oddly enough, if you ask a bit more and THEN reject him, he’ll have a proper response. “That’s fine. I understand. I won’t ask again.” However, if you reject him as soon as he starts talking to you, his response is very off putting. He’ll protest and say, “but you asked me about my former lovers” or, if you didn’t even do that, he’ll claim “you looked after me with the care of a lover, not a host.” These pushy assumptions turned a lot of people off. This is entirely on the writer, in my opinion. He should have realized how weird these sounded.
   
7. Halsin is the only person you can’t dismiss from your camp at any point through dialogue. All of the origins have to be pursued and recruited intentionally. Halsin is the only exception. This makes some sense because you need him to cure the Shadowlands, but for Act 3, he literally has nothing to do. They should have given players an option after the Ketheric fight to dismiss him and tell him to take care of the Shadowlands. It makes a lot more sense narratively and would help avoid a lot of the more awkward parts later.
   
8. Halsin’s initial dialogue about monogamy vs. polyamory is mostly fine, with him comparing it to gardens and wolves vs. bears. But (and don’t quote me on this because I can’t recall the specifics), if you ask your partner to do poly and they say no, Halsin will be a little more judgmental about your partner, saying he was hoping they would be more “open minded”. Statistically, the majority of BG3’s players are going to be monogamous, so it’s strange to see nearly every character (monogamous or poly) criticize monogamy in some way. It is called selfish, narrow minded, and old fashioned by at least 3 characters to my knowledge (Halsin, Act 1 Astarion, and even Gale (who is monogamous himself)). If the developers truly wanted to be inclusive, criticizing one’s lifestyle and having no characters openly defend it in the game (even those who practice it) is a disappointing choice. In this case, it might be an unintentional mistake (maybe they feared that by defending monogamy, they were somehow demonizing polygamy or polyamory), but it would have been better to just leave the criticisms out of it entirely if that was the case.
   

And that’s it. I think that’s all the points from myself and others that I wanted to compile. I don’t think any of this will be changed in BG3 but I hope all of these points and opinions will at least improve any future games. It’s great that BG3 was able to make nuanced characters with their own opinions and preferences—I much prefer it to “everyone is poly and no one gets mad if you cheat” games where characters feel more like statues than living beings—but I do wish they thought the poly options through more carefully (trying to make poly people comfortable while leaving room for monogamous players to enjoy the romances too).
The only feasible fix the developers could make at this point to avoid all the issues mentioned is keeping Halsin poly but removing his connections to other Origin romances (or at least Karlach and Astarion). At this point, that’s the only thing that could realistically be done. I also wish they made characters break up with you if you cheat on them in the brothel, since that’s what many people including myself would do.
Again, these opinions are my own (and those that aren’t come from a variety of comments across Youtube, Reddit, and Larian’s forums). I enjoyed getting to see so many different viewpoints and appreciated how civil (most of) the people on both sides were. It’s an interesting topic and here’s hoping game studios handle it better in the future.
If anyone reads this far and wants links to the threads, forums, and youtube comment sections, let me know.

JULIE CAO
Hometown: Toronto, Ontario
Family: Mary Cao, single mom and high profile lawyer, Nike, divine entity
Age: 16 (Birthday is 10/06)
Faceclaim: N/A as of yet.
Theme Song: Ice To Never
Height: 6’1”
Sexuality: Lesbian
Gender Identity: Female
Physique: Julie is very tall and quite athletic, the kind of build that’s queen on the ice or in the boxing ring. She’s got a statuesque figure, well kept and trimmed short nails and carries herself with a sort of easy confidence that comes from being naturally gifted with incredible coordination. She also has pierced ears and exactly one scar on her eyebrow from when she got hit by a hockey stick. She keeps good care of her hands and skin, but her hands are pretty callused from a lifetime of playing ice hockey, boxing, lacrosse (long story) and she’s got really good cardio from her time on the track team. She has dark brown eyes and occasionally wears sunglasses.
Voice: Julie has a contralto and very precise, exact speech. She’s got a Canadian accent and her voice is always brimming with the pride she feels in herself.
Hair: Julie has mid-length black hair that she usually keeps in a tight, precise bun, on occasion she has it in a braid. She has the occasional cute hair clip that she gets in when she’s got her hair down. Her favourite is a maple leaf clip, closely followed by a silver butterfly clip
Clothing: Julie has a wide wardrobe, but most commonly, when she’s being casual, she’s wearing an off the shoulder sweater and jean cutoffs over tights and a pair of converse. She likes dresses on occasions where they’re warranted, and also owns a few hockey jerseys that she likes to wander around in.
Personality: Julie is a textbook overachiever who has built her identity about being the best. She’s clever, quick-witted, always has something to say in a situation and is absolutely convinced that she’s hot shit. She’s the kind of person who gets over-competitive at the drop of a hat, going straight for any chance at a win. Fair play, that’s for suckers, she’s here to win. And she always, always wins. She isn’t especially nice, or especially kind, though she does have a warmer side for people she thinks of as either worth her time, hot or actually able to beat her. She’s incredibly hard-working, incapable of giving up whenever she’s trying to figure something out or achieve something. Sunk cost fallacy who? Never heard of that bitch!
Despite her generally bitchy interior world, she’s very good at being friendly when necessary. After all, when in a team situation, it’s better for the team to not hate each other than to have the opposite occur, as long as she’s the one in charge of said team. Some people would expect she’s more terrified of being alone or failure than anything else, but no, she’s not capable of being the kind of loser without friends or screwing up. I mean, have you met her? She doesn’t exactly process the concept of failure all that well.
She’s a straight A student, a closet history geek, and absolutely a hidden delinquent. She’s not going around smashing mailboxes, but she is absolutely getting into fights and involved in shady stuff, she’s also famously been selling exam keys to other students for a little side cash. She also stole a car that one time. She’s pretty handy with tools and knows how to fix a car, really deeply wanting to restore a classic car at some point. She got her drivers licence when she was fourteen and her mother was proud, probably. Julie is fairly distant from her mother, likes to write science fiction in her secret, spare time and is very aware that she’s going to be an Olympic athlete at some point in her near future, probably after leading the Toronto Torch to a victory in the PHWL.
POWERS
Domain Powers: War
Summon Weapon: Julie can summon a labrys, a hockey stick and a shield.
Weapon Proficiency: Julie is innately and preternaturally skilled with mid-range melee weapons, especially her axe.
Combat Proficiency: Julie is specifically quite good at fighting people, and one of the ways she’s good at fighting people hasn’t become known to her, since she’s never ridden in a chariot, but her general talent with her weapons combined with her talent with ground combat has always shown when she’s on the ice.
Minor Powers: Nike
Competitive Sports Proficiency: C’mon. Julie’s good at sports. She’s always been good at sports, she’s just built different. Her training and practice pays off, sure, but there’s also just an incredible baseline of talent that she’s running with.
Legendary Speed: Julie is fast. She’s a demon on the ice and she’s just as fast on land. She might not be superhumanly strong, but with enough speed, it really doesn’t matter, does it? Try to keep up. You won’t.
Self Gratification Buff: Julie knows she shoots better, fights better and IS better when she’s around awards. She doesn’t exactly know why and generally just rolls with it.
Major Power: Nike
Victory Foresight: Julie knows she’s going to win. And more importantly than that, she knows how she’s going to win. When she gets in the zone, when she really focuses in, she can see the paths to victory like hazy outlines in her head that she can turn into plans. She knows this can be honed, she just doesn’t know how.
Backstory: Julie’s mother very rarely paid attention to her. Not her divine parent, her mortal mom, but not for any reason of dislike or disdain, but her mother was just busy. The kind of woman who was always on the clock, always working and Julie respected that more than anything else. She instilled into Julie the understanding that how you won wasn’t important, so long as you won, the finish line was what mattered, not the way you got there. She never talked about Julie’s mother, on the rare occasions she spent time with her daughter, instead she’d talk about her aspirations for her daughter. Julie absorbed them, internalized these lessons and took herself down the path of being the best. At times, she wondered if she was doing stuff for her or for her mother’s dreams for her, but in reality, it was kind of irrelevant. When she explained she wanted to be an Olympic athlete, her mother reminded her that she would need a backup plan for when she didn’t make it. And on the bottom line, you’d think this gave her some deep seated insecurities.
Not even a little bit. She didn’t miss her mom when she wasn’t around, she didn’t really care that her mom didn’t really believe in her that much, because she was the best, and that was what mattered.
Course, she eventually started making a scene, getting into trouble. Why not? Her mom had never noticed her do anything before, why start now? So she acted out in subtle ways, and she never got her mother’s attention. Again, not that she cared, it wasn’t like she needed maternal approval to stay ahead of the crowd. However, eventually, she got into trouble. Not the kind she expected to, but instead it was a girl she was hanging out with trying to actually murder her. As in, trying to bite her throat out. After a sincerely dramatic fight where she summoned an axe and dusted the girl (she was going to stress about that maybe never, she had bad breath), she went home and was filled in on a few things about her personal history. Her other mother was a deity of some kind (yeah, obviously), her mother didn’t know who it was specifically, and the goat dude in their apartment was going to take her to a summer camp to help her get a handle on her powers and heritage. It was apparently, completely non negotiable
Arriving at camp, a suitcase in her hand and a cup of coffee in the other, Julie glared up at the camp sign, the satyr who brought her here already moving past her and getting to the Big House. She sighed, with a certain professional resignation. She’d have to make the best of it, and while she knew she was going to excel here, she was deeply disappointed she’d not be able to spend the summer (or maybe even forever, apparently) getting ready for the hockey season. She crossed the border, expecting something to happen, and sighed. It was kind of a giant dud so far, odds were low that her mother was playing some kind of practical joke on her, but not ENTIRELY zero.
Her trip here had been uneventful in a way, mostly just dodging monsters according to her guide and then once they arrived in the States, she’d been in a car for the last while as they had moved towards the camp and she wanted to stretch it out.
She took a sip from her coffee, pulling the suitcase up the hill and parking it at the top, stepping through the barrier and not exactly noticing the golden laurel appearing above her head in a hologram…

(M17) After a 3 year battle with my parents saying that it's all in my head and that I am just being lazy etc I recently finally went to a professional and got diagnosed with ADHD (apparently its manageable because I have high intelligence) and dyslexia. The funny thing is that right up until the results came they were really bitchy saying it would be a waste of time and I quote "I know there is nothing wrong with you" and now that they were proven wrong they pretend as if they always knew that something was up.
Recently I finally asked if I could be medicated because I can't bear raw dogging life much longer and they got really mad at me saying that I just haven't put in the effort and that my case is not severe enough to receive medication and that they have seen more severe cases live life as normal without needing any help.
I don't know what to do! I don't feel anything when I finish most tasks, I struggle heavily to even attempt to touch my homework and even when I do I really struggle to gain and retain information, I can't form habits like making my bed, making my bag and brushing my teeth, I can't concentrate and there are like 2 movies or random crap happening in my brain at all times.
(FFS even in the middle of writing this I started procrastinating)
What can I do to convince them to take medication? Do I really have to raw dog life for 12 more months until I can legally go take it myself?

There was a post a few days ago from u/connectcallosum saying that KOTOR II made them like The Last Jedi more as an adult. And I really enjoyed reading their take. Something I found interesting and slightly saddening was that people here who like KOTOR, especially KOTOR II disliked it. Most the reasons seemed to be that it didn't do the critiques as well as KOTOR II and that they ruined Luke Skywalker, with many selectively quoting Mark Hamill's interviews to show he agrees that Ryan Johnson ruined Luke.
So I thought I'd write a more detailed reply of why I like KOTOR II and The Last Jedi. If you want the short version, it's that both try to do the same thing and even if you think one does it better than the other, that doesn't mean you have to dislike the weaker entry.
First let's establish some simple points: 1) Both have critiques of the Star Wars Universe as part of their main themes. 2) Both have mentor characters presenting those critiques to the lead character. 3) Both conclude with the defeat of that critique and the defeat of the main villains in a confrontation that is more verbal than physical even though the physical is a core part.
I want to focus on that last point first. People often say Kreia is the vehicle for Chris Avellone to critique Star Wars, especially the chosen by destiny prophecy elements from the Prequels when KOTOR II was made. And that's true, but that doesn't mean the same thing as saying she is right. Just because it's the most spoken element doesn't mean it is true. The same is true of TLJ. Kylo Ren repeatedly says "Let the past die. Kill it if you have to." But he is the most incapable of doing that. He repeatedly gets aggressively emotional at any elements from his past.
The end of KOTOR II has you defeat Kreia. You stop her killing the Force either because she threatens all life in the galaxy (Lightside) or because she threatens your power (Darkside). At the end of TLJ Luke goes out to defeat the First Order (symbolically if not physically) and allows the Resistance to escape. It's a story for the ages that will spread Resistance across the galaxy. The end of TLJ is a refutation of Luke's self imposed exile and apathy witnessed at the start of the film.
Within the other two points I think there are two elements that underline the disdain some KOTOR II Star Wars fans have for TLJ. This is speculation and possibly straw manning on my part so feel free to comment your frustrations below. Anyway:
1) TLJ didn't do the critiques as well as KOTOR II for whatever reason people want to say. Poor writing, it's not our first time hearing these critiques, limited runtime, cut scenes (cough gag cough), medium, etc. 2) TLJ used Luke Skywalker to explain the critiques of the Jedi and Star Wars rather than be the super coolest most awesomest Jedi Ever that the cultural zeitgeist had made him out to be since 1983. Nevermind that Luke does those things at the end of the movie, the sour taste was already there. Kreia didn't come with that baggage.
My first strawman seems very selective to me. KOTOR II as a game does not present its arguments well on first playing, especially if you don't have the Restored Content Mod or helpful subreddit members to explain things to you. It took me several playthroughs to fully piece together the various loose ends and unanswered questions. Sometimes the game is too clever by a half. Also, despite the fuel plot device in TLJ, KOTOR II has plenty of annoying plotholes, especially on Nar Shaddaa and the general question of how Kreia got the Ebon Hawk in the first place.
The 2nd straw man I've already gone into detail on. In the end I think both have flaws that don't really bother me. KOTOR II is missing almost its entire ending without mods and TLJ has Luke say he'll teach Rey three lessons, but the 3rd one is a deleted scene.
But I think both pieces make their critiques in good faith. They aren't trying to ruin Star Wars, they come from fans who wanted the foundations of this fictional universe to have been stronger. And the questions asked can't be ignored because the messengers had their own qualitative faults.
What do you think? Why? Please feel free to share. I'm prepared for a few downvotes.

I've always been bound to death.
On my eighth birthday, a shadow strode into my house and shot me and my family dead. I remember it vividly, every detail, every angle, etched and stained and carved into my memory.
I sat very still with my knees to my chest, my gaze glued to my siblings.
Lily and PJ looked like they were sleeping, and I could almost believe it.
I didn't look at the shadow.
From the comfort of my knees, I waited for my brother to lift his head.
But his body was so limp, so still, every part of him faltering. My sister’s head was nestled in his shoulder, thick beads of red running down her face.
They're just sleeping.
I could tell myself they were— as long as I didn't look at the splatter of scarlet staining the back of the couch and pooling at their feet.
BANG.
Mom’s body dropped onto the ground.
I lunged forwards, slamming my hands over my ears.
BANG.
PJ’s head slumped forwards, a teasing smile still frozen on his lips.
BANG.
Lily gently tipped into PJ, like she was going to sleep.
Before she closed her eyes, Mom told me to run.
I can't remember how long I stayed under the shattered remnants of Mom’s favorite table. The shadow was waiting for me to move, to make a noise.
I watched booted feet crunch through glass, getting closer and closer, and slowly, fight or flight began to take over.
Making it halfway across the living room, my palms slick with my mother’s blood, I thought I was going to live.
Cruel fingers wound their way through my hair and shoved me to my knees. I remember the phantom legs of a spider creeping down the back of my neck when the shadow with no face dragged the barrel of his gun down my spine.
“Turn around.”
The shadow had a voice.
When I didn't move, the protruding metal stabbed into my neck.
“Turn around, kid!”
I did, very slowly.
Behind him, my siblings still weren't moving.
They were asleep.
Lily was still smiling, strawberry blonde ringlets stained red.
I couldn't see PJ’S face anymore.
BANG.
I didn't feel the gunshot.
I didn't feel anything.
Looking down, I glimpsed slowly spreading red blossoming like a flower.
It felt like being cut from strings.
I hit the ground, just like my mother, my body felt heavy and wrong.
Paralysed.
I remember being unable to scream, unable to cry, the salty taste of metal filling my mouth. It was like being winded. Rolling onto my side, all I could see was flickering candlelight.
The air was thick, so hard to breathe.
I rolled onto my back trying to suck in air.
The shadow took a step back, opened the front door, and bled into the night.
I don't remember the pain, and I don't remember dying. I couldn't breathe, couldn't conjure words in my mouth.
I felt warm and sticky, lying in my own blood.
I think I tried to move.
But I was so tired.
I’m not sure what death feels like, because it's like going to sleep.
I remember my last shuddering breaths, a lulling darkness beginning to swallow me up. I don't know why I wasn't afraid.
Oblivion almost felt like I was sinking into lukewarm depths on a Summer’s day.
Oblivion wasn't pain, and there was a peaceful inevitability to it.
It was endless nothing, a nothing I found myself gravitating towards. But before I could envelope myself in that darkness, it was spitting me back out.
The next thing I knew, I was in a white room, a slow beeping sound tearing me from slumber. I had a vague memory of slow spreading roses blossoming across my shirt, like summer flowers blooming.
Everything was white.
The walls, the ceiling, and my clothes.
Sensation hit me in slow waves.
Exhaustion.
I felt it tightening its grip around my brain, dragging me back onto a mountain of pillows when I tried to jump up. My Aunt May was sitting next to me on a plastic chair, her warm fingers entangled in mine. Aunt May and Mom were practically twins, with the same thick red hair and pale skin.
Mom wore her hair in a casual ponytail, while May preferred a strict bun.
I had to bite back the urge to yank my hand away.
Aunt May was asleep, used tissues filling her lap.
There was a nurse pottering around, checking my vitals and prodding my arms. My eyes felt heavy. I had to blink several times to keep myself awake.
“Charlie?”
The nurse’s voice was like wind-chimes.
I pretended not to notice her forced lipstick smile, the way she stood with her arms folded, staring at me like I was one of my cousin’s experiments. “You were in an accident, sweetie,” the nurse spoke up. I could see her trembling hands. “Just, um, try and rest, okay?”
I wanted to ask where my family was, but I already knew the answer.
I think she knew that too.
“You died, Charlie.” The nurse’s voice was eerily cold. “You were dead for thirteen minutes.”
She took slow steps towards me, her eyes growing frenzied, like she couldn't understand me, like I was a puzzle she could not solve– and it was driving her crazy. I could see it in her twitching hands, her wobbling lips that were trying and failing to appear stoic.
“In fact, I just pulled you out of the morgue, honey. I opened up your body bag that I had just zipped up, and told your aunt that you were a miracle I just… can’t understand.” The nurse sounded like she was trying to choke down a laugh, or maybe a sob.
“Charlotte, you were pronounced dead at 3:02am from a gunshot wound to the chest.” Taking a slow, sobering breath, the nurse tried to smile. “The bullet went through the right ventricle of your heart and severely damaged your left lung, rendering you unable to breathe. Your heart stopped, and after four attempts to resuscitate, we called it.”
Something slimy wound its way up my throat when she began to pace the room. “I… did all the paperwork. It took me two minutes. Your death certificate was signed, and your body was taken to the morgue to be prepped for transportation. Then I had my lunch. Tuna salad with a protein milkshake. I’m not a fan of the chocolate flavor.”
She shook her head. “Anyway, when I came back to you, you were awake inside your body bag.” Her voice was starting to break. “You were…um, alive, and asked me for apple soda.”
The nurse moved closer, and yet kept her distance.
I could feel myself moving back, panic writhing through me.
“So.” The nurse spoke calmly. “How the fuck are you still alive, Charlie?”
I think I passed out after that.
When I woke up again, my head a lot less heavier, the nurse was gone.
Slowly, my foggy brain began to find itself and connect dots.
My mouth was dry, full of cotton.
There was a sudden tightness, a sharp and cruel sting in my wrists.
Something sharp was protruding into my flesh, and no matter how many times I violently wrenched my arm, it was stuck. It didn't feel right to be able to breathe so easily.
I knew the second I woke that my Mom was dead.
Lily and PJ were dead, and it was like losing them all over again.
As clarity came over me, I found my voice, a strangled cry escaping my lips.
“Get it out.” I whispered in a shrill cry.
Tugging at the IV in my wrist, I tried to yank the needle from my skin.
“Get it out!” I shrieked, my gaze glued to the tiny spots of blood staining the insertion point.
I could see it again.
So much blood.
Mom was curled up on the floor, lying in slow spreading red that wouldn't stop, seeping across her beaded rug.
She was all over me, slick on my skin and caked in my fingernails.
I couldn't wash her off of me.
“You're okay, Charlotte.”
Aunt May’s voice came from my right, stabling me to reality.
The world started to move again, started to make sense again, when she cupped my cheeks and told me to breathe. When I opened my mouth to ask where my family were, she lightly shook her head and I swallowed my words. Aunt May handed me a glass of water, and I drained it in one gulp.
She told me I was a miracle.
Aunt May didn't say much, and when she did, she broke into sobs.
Her eyes were raw from crying, clinging onto me, her shuddery voice reassuring me that I was going to be okay.
She told me I would be living with her from now on, before wrapping me into a hug and leaving to get coffee.
Once my aunt was gone, another nurse came to prod my IV.
I tried to sleep, but the uncomfortable tightness of the needle sticking into my skin and the sterile white lights in my eyes made it impossible. I waited for grief to catch up with me, drowning me in a hollow oblivion I wouldn't be able to claw myself out of. But I didn't feel sad. I didn't feel angry.
I wanted to know why my family were dead.
I wanted to know why I was breathing, and their skin was ice cold.
Rotting.
The sudden image of maggots crawling up my brother’s nose sent me lurching into a sitting position, my stomach heaving. Reaching for my glass of water, it was empty. The sensation of throwing up felt familiar, almost comforting.
Mom was always with me when I was sick, holding my hair back and lulling my hysteria with reassuring murmurs.
I was frowning at the trash can by the door, my cotton candy brain trying to figure out if I would be able to make it in time, when a small voice drifted from the doorway, startling me.
“I don't want you to come live with us.”
My cousin was peeking through the door, hiding behind a shock of dark brown curls. Jude was the only brunette in our family. The rest of us were redheads.
I wasn't sure why he was dressed up like a ghost, draped in a white cloak that was way too big for him. Jude was a weird kid. His mother, and my auntie, had inherited the family house, so in his mind, that made him superior.
Jude made it clear he didn't like his cousins, refusing to let us play with him and banning us from family gatherings.
When the adults were drinking cocktails and losing their awareness, Jude ordered us around. The times we did play with him, our cousin showed us his spider collection, or the raccoon brain he kept in a jar. PJ was convinced our younger cousin was a serial killer. Several months earlier, he'd happily showed us the roadkill he'd been growing bacteria on under his bed.
Jude’s ‘experiments’ were worrying.
He stuffed mushrooms down my brother’s ears while he was sleeping, to, and I quote, “Recreate The Last Of Us.”
When Lily had a nosebleed during Thanksgiving dinner, Jude collected all her bloody tissues and refused to tell us where he'd put them, and what he had done with them. Fast-forward two months, and I found them under a nest of spiders. Jude was trying to adapt the spiders to be able to feed on human blood. I was surprised my cousin hadn't immediately demanded to see my siblings’ dead bodies for autopsy.
Jude stepped into the room, shuffling his feet.
“I'm sorry about Lily, PJ, and Aunt Ivy.” He mumbled, glaring at the floor tiles.
My cousin made no move to offer real sympathy, instead speaking to the floor.
“But I don't want you to come live with us.” Jude lifted his head, looking me dead in the eye. “I don't like you, Charlie. I want you to stay away.”
Before I could reply, he stepped back like I was diseased.
“You should be dead.” Jude grumbled.
He scowled at me, getting my age purposely wrong as usual before running off.
“Happy 68th birthday.”
I was six months older than him.
In Jude’s eyes, I was ready for retirement.
Still, though, my cousin was right.
I was stone cold dead, and then I was somehow alive.
Which was wrong.
Growing up, I realized Death was not so subtly attempting to fix his mistake.
It started small. I'd choke on things I wasn't supposed to choke on.
Chips.
Candy.
Ice cream.
Aunt May had to perform the heimlich manoeuvre when I choked on a piece of chicken. I thought I was just really unlucky, but then I locked myself in a freezer that didn't have a lock, and almost drowned in the local swimming pool, catching my foot in stray netting.
At the summer fair, Jude convinced me to try apple bobbing, only for my head to conveniently get stuck underwater.
It started to make sense.
I was supposed to die with my family that night, and death was out to get me.
Death started to get clever, changing his tactic. Instead of using everyday things to try to kill me, he sent reinforcements.
I turned twelve years old, and my aunt threw me a huge party, inviting all my classmates. Aunt May was rich, rich.
Mom never explained it, but our grandparents left everything to May.
The house was like a palace, a labyrinth of floors I was yet to explore, and two swimming pools.
I was in the kitchen cutting myself a slice of cake, when, out of nowhere, a dead boy came rushing at me with one of my aunt’s favorite kitchen knives.
A dead boy who I immediately recognised.
Wren Oliver.
Several years prior, he'd gone missing from his parents' yard. The town launched a full investigation, only to find his body in a ditch a week later.
So, Death had sent a footsoldier.
Hiding under a hooded sweatshirt, Wren appeared older, like he had grown up with me. But there was a startling vacancy in his expression that drew the breath from my lungs, freezing me in place. Wren’s death was announced as an accident, though his wounds suggested the opposite, dried blood smearing his right temple and a cavernous hole in his chest, his clothes painted, stained, in bright red, glued in sticky mounds clinging to him.
The boy’s eyes were wild, feral, like an animal.
His hair was longer, a mess of reddish curls matted to his forehead.
Lip split into a demented giggle.
I remember taking a slow step back, my gaze glued to the knife.
Wren’s fingers were wrapped around the handle like he knew exactly how to use it, how to plunge it into my heart and kill me for good. He moved like a predator, zero self awareness or recognition, only driven to kill me.
The dead boy prided himself in slow, intimidating steps, shoving me against the wall and dragging the blade of the knife down the curve of my throat.
His eyes confused me, writhing with hatred that was artificial, programmed into him as Death’s official soldier.
He didn't speak, only smiled, revelling in my fear. I could tell it thrilled him, my trembling hands, my sharp, heavy breaths I couldn't control. Squeezing my eyes shut, I waited to finally die.
I waited for the pain, and to lose my breath once again.
But death was playing with me.
When I opened my eyes, the dead boy was gone, and I was on my knees, screaming.
“Wren Oliver is trying to kill me!" I managed to hiss.
My aunt knelt in front of me, her expression crumpling.
*Sweetie,” She spoke softly, squeezing my hands. Aunt May was trying to appear calm for my sake, but I could tell she was scared, her frantic eyes searching mine. “Wren Oliver is dead.”
The kids surrounding me started to giggle, whispering among themselves.
In the corner of my eye, my cousin was leaning against the door, mid eye roll.
When my aunt was ushering kids back to the pool, Jude came to crouch in front of me. Ever since I started living with him, he'd made sure to keep his distance.
This time, though, Jude leaned uncomfortably close, a sparkle in his eyes I had never seen before. Inclining his head, he rocked back and forth on his heels, prodding me in the forehead.
“If you see the dead boy again, can you tell me?” His lips curved into a smile.
“I did see him.” I gritted out. “I’m not lying.”
Jude shrugged. “I never said you didn't,” he lowered his voice into a whisper, “I wanna know when you see him again.”
“Why?”
His lips curved into a smirk.
“So, I can catch him.”
My cousin got closer, his breath tickling my cheek.
“I seeeeeeee dead people.”
After that incident, death left me alone for a while.
I was fifteen, walking through the forest with a friend, catching fireflies in bell jars. Aunt May was lucky to live so close to the forest, the entrance just outside her back door. When we were littles, PJ would drag Lily and I down the trail to escape Jude’s weird experiments.
I decided to invite Jem Littlewood on a summer walk.
Jem was cute, but in a dorky way. He was chronically clumsy, and dressed like he'd been spat out of a John Hughes movie. We hiked all the way to the end of the river and had a picnic, watching the sun set over the horizon. I was having conflicting feelings for this guy.
Jem was obsessed with fireflies.
Though he seemed more interested in photographing them than me.
The guy couldn't seem to sit still, jumping to his feet to marvel at tiny specks of light dancing in the air.
“I'm just going to take photos!” Jem beamed, holding up his camera.
I had to bite back the urge to say, “Don't you have enough photos?”
I nodded, and he turned and sprinted back down the trail.
Before his footsteps ground to a sudden halt.
At first, I thought he was snapping polaroids.
When I got closer, though, blinking in the eerie dark, I caught something.
Bending down, I picked up a bell jar still spilling fireflies.
Further down the trail, Jem was lying crumpled in the dirt, his camera smashed to pieces next to him, blood running in thick rivulets down his temple. There he was. Leaning against a tree, his arms folded, was the ghost boy. Wren Oliver was growing up with me. Now, a teenager, and yet his face was carved into something else entirely, more of a monster, slight points to his ears and too-sharp teeth, eyes ignited.
Wren didn't look like a ghost boy anymore.
Death had dressed him in shackles of ivy, a crown of glass and bone forced onto his head, entangled in his curls. Death was torturing him.
Wren’s body was its canvas, and every time I got away, he was punished, painting his failures across scarred skin.
I should have been running for my life, but I was mesmerised by each symbol cruelly carved into his neck.
The boy did a slow head incline, like he couldn't believe I was standing in front of him.
His slow spreading smile caught me off guard.
I remembered how to run, stumbling over my feet.
But I couldn't move.
The burning hatred that death had filled him with, was stronger, hollowing him out completely. I managed two shaky steps, before I felt him, an unearthly force winding its way around my spine. This time, he didn't hesitate.
I watched his mouth move, a single curve of his upper lip that wrenched my body from my control, slamming me against a tree. There was something around my throat, choking the breath from my lungs, a thick fog spreading over my eyes.
Following his mouth curving into silent letters, I could feel my feet slowly leaving the ground, my legs dangling.
I was floating.
Hovering off of the ground, suspended by his words.
Through half lidded eyes, I caught the glint of a blade between his fist, but I couldn't move, couldn't scream.
He was drowning me, bleeding into my blood, spider webbing and expanding in my brain without moving a muscle.
Instead, the ghost boy stood silently, running his thumb down the teeth of his knife while he ripped my lungs apart.
It was like suffocating, sinking into that peaceful oblivion I met at eight years old.
This time, though, the darkness was starving.
“Charlie?”
My eyes found daylight, a scream clawing out of my mouth.
“Charlie, it's past curfew!”
Wren flinched, his stoic expression crumpling.
The dead boy’s lips moved again, this time in a curse.
Fuck.
“Charlotte!”
Staggering back, Wren’s eyes widened and the suffocating hold on me severed.
His head snapped in the direction my aunt was coming from.
“Charlie, answer me right now.”
He hesitated, his bare feet pivoting in the dirt, like he was considering finishing me off. Wren studied me with lazy eyes, sucking on his bottom lip. When my aunt's footsteps got louder, branches snapping under her shoes, something contorted in the boy’s face.
Fear.
I guessed the boy wasn't expecting other humans to intrude.
Wren fell over himself, shuffling on his hands and knees, before diving to his feet. When he turned and ran, I was released, slipping to the ground, trying and failing to draw in breath. I barely felt the impact, only a dull thudding pain. I could hear the ghost boy’s footsteps, his uneven, shuddery breaths as he catapulted into a run.
Under a late setting sun, I watched his dancing shadow disappear into the trees.
Mission unsuccessful, I guessed.
When I was fully conscious, Aunt May was checking over Jem, helping him sit up.
“Where did he go?” I managed to get out, scanning the darkness for Wren.
“He's okay, just concussed.” May whispered, dialling 911.
My aunt applied a dressing to Jem’s wound, ignoring the boy’s hisses.
“Keep still.” she murmured, smoothing his bandaid. “What happened, Charlotte?”
“She pushed me over.” Jem groaned, shuffling away from me. When my aunt told him to stay calm, he straightened up, leaning against the tree. “The psycho bitch tried to fucking kill me!”
When my aunt's gaze flicked to me, I shook my head.
“It was Wren Oliver.” I gritted, teetering on hysteria. I could tell she didn't believe me, but I couldn't stop myself.
I prodded at my throat, clawing for the indentations where his phantom fingers snaked around my neck, squeezing the breath from my lungs.
But there was nothing.
I could feel my mind starting to unravel. I nodded to my disgruntled classmate trying to dodge my aunt’s prodding.
“Ow, ow, ow! That stings!
“He knocked Jem out.” I managed. “Then he tried to kill me.”
Jem surprised me with a scoff. “You're seriously blaming your psychotic break on a dead kid?”
Aunt May pursed her lips, motioning for Jem to be quiet. Judging from her face, however, she agreed with the boy.
May forced a smile, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. “Okay. Can you, uh, describe the boy to me, Charlotte?”
“He was wearing a crown,” I said, “And he looked my age.”
Aunt May cocked her head, and I saw real worry, like she was trying not to freak out. Jem made a snorting noise.
“I'm sorry, he was wearing a crown?”
“Yes!” I insisted, getting progressively more frustrated.
I tried to jump up, only for my aunt to gently lower me back down. “I know it sounds crazy, but death has sent Wren Oliver to kill me, just like my family. He tried to kill me when I was twelve, too!”
Jem let out a bitter laugh. “Your niece is a fucking wackadoodle.”
Aunt May’s eyes darkened. She grabbed my shoulders, her nails stabbing into my skin. “Charlie, I want you to listen to me, okay?” When my eyes found the rapidly darkening sky, my aunt forced me to look at her.
“Charlotte!”
She was as scared as me, her voice shuddering.
“Wren Oliver is dead.” My aunt said firmly, shaking me. Even then, though, I wasn't even looking at her. I was trying to find his ignited eyes lighting up the dark. “Wren died at eight years old in a terrible accident, and you can't keep using him as an excuse for your mental trauma.” There was something twitching in her expression I was trying to make sense of. When I risked a look at Jem, the boy was staring at me dazedly– like I really was crazy.
Aunt May pressed her face into my shoulder, and I could feel her tears soaking into my shirt. She was trying to hold it together, trying to understand.
“Charlie, I know you lost your family,” she whispered. “But you and Wren Oliver are not the same. You survived, and he didn't.” Her voice splintered.
“You need to come to terms with that, okay?”
When I didn't respond, she pinched my chin, forcing me to look at her.
“Charlotte.”
Aunt May’s voice turned cold. “I ignored this when you were a kid, but if you continue to use this poor boy as a coping mechanism, I will have no choice but to send you to a specialist.”
When Jem was taken away by paramedics, Aunt May held my hand, squeezing my fingers for dear life.
I caught her gaze scanning the tree's around us, delving into twisting oblivion. Every little noise sent her twisting around. She was looking for something.
“I'm going to get you help.” Aunt May said in a low murmur when we were back at the house. Jude was sitting on the kitchen counter, legs swinging. I could feel his penetrating gaze burning into the back of my head.
Aunt May set a cup of cocoa on the table.
“No more fairytales.”
By the time I was eighteen, I had bitten three therapists.
They refused to believe that death was coming to reclaim my soul, and was using a dead boy to do his dirty work.
For my 16th birthday, I braced myself to come face to face with Wren Oliver’s ghost.
I wasn't even in town, staying at a friend's house.
But dead boys, and especially dead boys moulded into Death’s personal soldiers, could materialise anywhere.
I locked every door in the house, and taped up my friend’s window.
Nothing happened.
On my seventeenth birthday, I was sick in bed with gastritis.
Still no ghost boy.
Death seemed to have finally left me alone.
On my eighteenth birthday, I was stuffing books in my locker when my cousin popped up out of nowhere, scowling as usual. After an unexpected growth spurt and losing a tonne of baby fat, my cousin had scaled the high school hierarchy, swapping his weird experiments for a varsity jacket and experimenting with his sexuality.
The two of us had come to an unspoken truce.
I kept quiet about his spider collection to his popular friends, and he tolerated my existence until I left for college.
“Your surprise party is cancelled.”
Jude leaned against my locker, running a hand through thick dark hair tucked under a baseball cap. Jude never admitted it, but he was definitely embarrassed of being the odd one out.
My siblings may be dead, but they were still redheads.
I pulled off his cap with a smile, throwing it in his face. “Sure it is.”
My cousin’s eyes widened. He lost his slick bravado, grabbing for his cap.
“Hey!”
According to my cousin, my party was unexpectedly cancelled every year.
I wasn't sure if it was his weird superiority complex, or just plain jealousy, but it was getting exhausting.
Jude followed me down the hallway, matching my stride.
“Can you just not come home tonight?”
I quickened my pace. “It's only a party. I'm having some friends over, and no, we won't go anywhere near your room.”
“No, I mean.” Jude stepped in front of me, and for the first time in a while, he wasn't trying to hide disdain for me.
His dark eyes pinned me in place for a moment, the world around us coming to a halt. Sound bled away, and all I heard were his slow breaths. There was something there, an unexplainable twitch in his eyes and lips, that twisted my gut.
Jude stepped closer, his lip curling. He shoved me back, losing his facade.
“Stay the fuck away from the house tonight.” He said, and his voice, his tone, was enough to send shivers creeping down my spine. Jude had always hid behind a ten foot wall in his mind. It was jarring to see something in him finally start to splinter. Fuck. I thought.
This kid had serious Mommy issues.
I blinked, and the world resumed, kids pushing past us.
Jude seemed to catch himself, slipping back under his mask.
“I'm having friends over,” he rolled his eyes, “Your presence will ruin the vibe.”
“It's my birthday?”
He groaned, tipping his head back. “Yes, I know. But–”
“I think you can deal with the attention off of you for one night, Jude.”
“Will Wren Oliver be there too?” Jem Littlewood hollered.
Jude didn't respond for a moment, his lip curling.
“Shut the fuck up.” He spat at Jem, who immediately backed down. With an audience this time, Jude forced an award winning smile. “Fine.” His lips split into a grin I knew he hated. My cousin clamped his hand on my shoulder, hard enough to hurt. I could feel his fingers pinching the material of my jacket. “Have it your way, dude.”
Jude backed away with a two fingered salute.
“Happy 78th birthday!”
In a sense, I wish I listened to my cousin.
My party was a success, sort of.
Four of us, a crate of beers, and no sign of my cousin.
I was mildly tipsy, sitting on the edge of the pool, dangling my legs in the water when my friend demanded more beers.
I was also hungry for cake, so I stumbled inside in search of the goods.
The house was dark, lit up in dazzling blue from the pool's lights reflecting through the windows. Aunt May was in her office on the ground floor, and Jude was getting high in his room. In my drunken state, I found myself marvelling my aunt's house, and how much of it was left unexplored.
For example, in the foyer, past the spiral staircase she’d had custom made, was an elevator I had never questioned.
There was a girl my age standing on the staircase.
She was frozen, mid run, dressed in ragged jeans and t-shirt.
Everything about her stuck out to me, bringing me to a sobering halt.
The girl reminded me of my sister– or at least, if my sister had ever grown up.
I wasn't sure if I was drunk or hallucinating.
Her flower crown was pretty…
Lily had grown wings.
I was slowly moving towards her, a sudden bang sounding from the kitchen.
The bang of something shattering on the floor.
Twisting around, I found myself gravitating towards warm golden light.
The first thing I saw was the refrigerator door hanging open, and someone, no, something, rooting around inside it.
Glued to the spot, I dazedly watched them grab milk, guzzling it down, and then soda, cracking open each can and sucking them dry, before carving their fingers into my birthday cake.
But I wasn't looking at the spillage of food seeping across the floor. Instead, my gaze found a crown of antlers, both human and animal bone entangled with dead flowers and human remains glued to a head of familiar matted brown curls. There was something sticking from battered and bruised flesh, twin gaping slits sliced through a torn shirt resembling glass wings that were not yet formed, reminding me of a butterfly.
Wings.
But not the wings I dreamed of as a kid. These things were unnatural mounds that both did and didn't make sense on a human boy. I could see the trauma of them slicing through his flesh, monstrous, looming things protruding from what was left of a human spine.
Human, and yet I couldn't call his beautifully grotesque face human.
Wren Oliver had grown up with me, now an adult.
Eighteen years old.
His clothes confused me, a single white shirt and shorts.
Wren’s feet were bare, battered and bruised, blood smearing my aunt's tiles.
Angel.
Death had turned his footsoldier, and my future killer, into an angel.
But there was nothing angelic about the dead boy, his body and mind sculpted and moulded into Death’s own.
The boy no longer resembled a human, feral eyes and a manic smile, choking down pieces of cake. His face had been contorted into a monster, gnashing teeth and sharp points in his ears, a sickly tinge to malnourished skin.
And that's when it hit me, watching him stuff himself with food.
Something slimy inched its way up my throat.
The boy didn't move. I don't even think he'd noticed me, gorging himself on anything he could get his hands on.
Chicken, raw bacon, leftover salad.
When he moved onto cupcakes, licking frosting from his fingers, I glimpsed markings on his arms, a language I didn't understand, carved into him.
His wrists were shackled, bound, in entangled iron and vine, iron that was ingrained into his skin, vines and flowers and ivy entangling his bones, that were part of him, polluting his blood. Slowly, my eyes found stab wounds splitting open his torso.
Raw flesh, where his skin had been torched, melting, and then merging, ripped apart and put back together over and over again.
I found his heart, the gaping cavern in his chest where it should be.
And it was.
Marked, carved, and branded with a symbol resembling an X.
Wren Oliver was not dead.
But, just like me, he should have been.
I remember saying his name, my voice slurred slightly.
I didn't drink that much, but I could barely coerce words, my head spinning.
Wren’s neck snapped towards me, his eyes narrowing with resentment I couldn't understand, hatred that seemed to puppeteer him. Slowly tilting his head, the boy’s lips split into a grin, eyes filled, polluted, with mania.
I could see where his lips had been stitched shut, and then ripped open.
“Hi.”
He held up his hand in an awkward wave.
When one of my friends stumbled into the kitchen, Wren reacted on impulse.
He picked up a knife from the counter, throwing it like a dart, straight through the guy’s throat.
Something shattered inside my mind.
Ignoring my friend bleeding out, Wren stumbled over himself, abandoning his feast. He took a single step towards me, backing me against the wall, coming so close, close enough for me to feel his very real breath grazing my cheeks. Just like when he was a kid, he traced the teeth of his blade down my throat. I wasn't expecting him to burst out laughing, trembling with hysteria.
His eyes were wild, feral and wrong, almost euphoric.
With what all I could only recognise as relief.
BANG.
I was barely aware of the gunshot.
The bullet went straight through his head, the winged boy hitting the ground.
Dead.
I saw the blood stemming around him in a halo before the bleeding pool faltered, seeping back inside his head.
Like rewinding a VCR.
Wren was dead, and then he was alive.
Wren’s body contorted, his chest inflating.
His gasp for air was painful, strangled, eyes opening wide.
Terrified.
“You fucking idiot.”
Jude’s voice sent me twisting around.
My cousin stood in the exact same robes he wore as a child.
The world tipped off kilter, and I was on my knees, then my stomach.
I sunk to the floor, my thoughts swimming.
Jude’s murmur followed me, creeping into the dark.
“I told you not to come home.”
I can't remember how long I was unconscious for.
When I woke, I was dressed in an evening gown, a dress that used to be my mother’s.
My vision cleared, and I found myself sitting in an unfamiliar room resembling an abandoned swimming hall.
The pool itself was empty, the bottom stained revealing scarlet.
There were symbols carved into each tile.
Like a game.
“Sit up straight, Charlotte.”
I was sitting at a banquet.
Jude was in front of me, sipping on wine.
He caught my eye for half a second before averting his gaze.
At the far end of the table sat my aunt May.
Kissing the rim of her glass, her smile was twisted.
“I've been waiting so long to give you your birthday presents, Charlotte. Your memories should be returning soon.”
“Mom.” Jude muttered, hiding behind his glass. “Calm down. You're embarrassing yourself.”
Ignoring my cousin, May tapped her glass with a fork, and in walked my birthday presents.
No, dragged.
By their hair.
Wren Oliver, the dead boy, was in fact my aunt's prisoner.
Behind him, was the girl who looked so much like Lily.
I think that's why my aunt chose her.
Aunt May cleared her throat.
“For a long time, our family has lived among creatures who live in the forest you played inside. In exchange for keeping this town safe, they only ask for small favors. Wayward children who disappear into the woods are good enough payment. Charlie, you and your siblings do not share our inheritance. Your mother never wanted fae children. She wanted you to be human.”
Aunt May’s smile faded.
“After losing my sister, and my niece and nephew, I made a deal to give my last surviving niece 100 years of life.”
Her words were white noise, my gaze glued to my birthday presents. I couldn't call them human anymore.
I couldn't call Wren human, when his face was so beautifully grotesque, painfully hypnotising.
The monstrous things sticking from twin slits in his back were supposed to be wings, except they looked wrong, cruelly protruding from his exposed spine. Under the influence of alcohol earlier, the girl made me smile.
Her wings, to me, looked like one of a real fairy.
In reality, they were torn and shredded apart, bigger than the girl herself.
When she dropped onto her stomach, she was dragged back to her feet, her knees buckling under the weight. Her tiara of flowers and bone looked pretty to me when I saw her on the stairs.
Now, though, I could see the pearly white of a human child's skull forced onto her head, dead flowers threaded through cavernous, gaping eye sockets.
The two of them were violently shoved into the empty pool.
“Jude. Please demonstrate, sweetheart.”
Jude stood, pulling out a gun, and aiming it at the winged girl.
BANG.
The girl’s body hit the tiles, her blood seeping across stained white.
“Now, of course, our king did not give you life for free.” May continued.
“The King demanded a debt, as well as two heirs to join him in his court once your hundred years were complete.”
Her lips quirked into a smile.
“The king is smart. If a child cannot be stolen from the human world, they can, however, be made, moulded and shaped from their human forms, skinned of their humanity through their suffering, leaving a hollowed out shell in the child's place.” She was speaking so casually, ignoring Wren’s whimpers.
“The conversion takes a while. 100 years to birth a fully blooded fae heir, who will lose their human memories, in preparation to join their new family.”
Jude shot Wren in the chest, his eyes empty.
This time, he dropped his weapon, using finger-guns instead.
“Bang.” He deadpanned.
Then the neck.
I watched Wren come back to life, and then die.
Over and over again.
I think at one point, he screamed and cried.
But not now.
He was their puppet on display, dancing for their entertainment.
Half lidded eyes drowned in oblivion found mine, and I understood his hatred.
Before he was shot again.
Stabbed.
Branded and burned, and ripped apart.
At some point, I screamed at them to stop. I couldn't breathe, slamming my hands over my ears and begging them.
Aunt May didn't listen, ordering for my hands to be tied down.
“The King required two human sacrifices to suffer in your place.” She concluded. “For one hundred years.”
Aunt May’s smile was suddenly sad, and she lifted her glass in a toast.
I was watching their blood trickle down each tile in the pool, like every death, every time they suffered, my body became progressively less human.
I felt disgusting. I wasn't supposed to be alive. Every single year of my life, every breath I had taken, was stolen.
Aunt May nodded at me, her lips forming a proud smile. She stood up, and was handed a sacrificial knife.
Climbing into the swimming pool herself, she strode over to Wren.
The boy slumped to the floor, trembling, his knees against his chest.
Aunt May grabbed him by the hair, forcing his head up, and sliced the blade across his throat.
His eyes flicked to me, and I swore he smiled.
Spots of red dotted yellowing tiles, a river trickling under my aunt's heels.
“Happy 78th birthday, Charlotte.”
Last night ended with me being locked in my room.
It's been almost 15 hours, and the door is still locked. Please help me. I'm fucking terrified of what my aunt is planning.
I can't stop shgajing. FycjbfucibFUCK
If she is telling the truth, I shouldn't be here, right??
And I can't stop thinking.
Is Wren Oliver trying to kill me, or himself?

Rewatching Season 8 Episode 1. Within the episode, Fabio goes from complaining about Marcel being "arrogant" because Marcel was bothered about being poked about being hit in the head with a bottle (a very rational thing to be bothered by, if you ask me). Whether production made him ask the question or not, him being bitchy that Marcel was upset by the question is asshole behavior -- of COURSE someone is going to be upset by something traumatic. You acting like he's arrogant because of that makes you (Fabio) a jackass -- not Marcel.
...To then threatening Bourdain physically because Bourdain made fun of the disgusting looking thing he served. (And before anyone says he didn't, how else would you take "some comment you made about my food, if we weren't in this situation, we would have a different problem" (direct quote)). Bourdain was wrong -- it looked like something I once threw up after a night of Olive Garden and a fifth of Jack Daniels.
Sorry, for someone who talks so much about "demanding respect", he sure has zero issue with disrespecting others. I find him to be a hypocritical ass.
I'm sure I'm about to get downvoted to hell, because people seem to love this guy. But I think he's barely edged out of my top 10 Top Chef least favorite contestants ever (and only because luminaries like Heather and Ilan and Betty exist)

I remember about a year or two ago - stumbling upon this charming little community filled with people who knew and spoke the XFM shows chapter and verse. I got a smile out of a well-placed reference to Auntie Nora, grinned with delight at a deep cut popping up on Steve's Instagram, and cackled with glee when a long post detailing the intricacies of the break-up of the RSK partnership took a last minute turn into a practical joke by a mischivieous bonobo.
What we had was an interesting little petri dish, a subreddit that was nominally meant to discuss the current and future projects of R. Gervais, but had been hijacked by a group lovingly referring to themselves as "saucer drinkers" still singing the merits of a decades old radio show. I felt at home, amongst family. Fellow weirdos like myself who spoke in a language known only to ourselves.
But like all good little niche communities, it was only a matter of time before it was overrun by the wannabes, the tryhards, the newer, less sophisticated converts. The eager wide eyed simpletons rushing into every thread hoping to immediately spout out a catchphrase and fit it, but not quite mastering the finess, the subtle niceties. The ones less adroit at slipping in a well-timed quote and still having it fit in as part of a larger conversation, rather instead simply spray-hosing the XFM quotes permanently lodged in their brain from countless hours spent listening to "bedtime sleepy club" compilations. The ones who grab the first image or news article that vaguely relates to something the boys talked about once and slap a "BONG" on it, desperate for karmic clicks and not checking to see if nine other people have already posted the same thing.
Now we find ourselves navigating a forum that is 90 percent references and 10 percent content - where the gimmick has turned from charming and clever to annoying and embarassing. I hate to to say it, but there's no point in pretending anymore. It's time to pull your finger out lads. Let's treat the second half of 2024 as a new leaf, and rethink the whole thing. Lest we go from being "saucer drinkers" to the same without air quotes.

Continuing on Party Roll

​
The entire crew in real life are back together, so it was mostly RP last episode.
Sarn finally wakes up and instantly goes into debate mode with the party. Morals, loyalty and trust are the main debate factors, but before we turn to in-fighting, we come upon the none moving Sandcrawler. Things are silent and there isn't anyone around....however there is a glow coming from the front of the crawler. When we go to investigate it, we find before us a long haired man, humming to himself. It's Otto! (Reborn) Seems the gods deemed him unworthy, so they brought him up to their plane, trained him and sent him back as a man. Is he Jesus Christ?! Anyways, the King's guards come out and start pointing spears at us. Seems like they've gone through it these last couple of days. Thankfully, we have Krimbim with us and a gentle explanation is all that's needed to enter. When we get inside we instantly go see the King and tell him what's up. This is where it gets funky. See.... Krimbim is working on getting the crawler working again, meanwhile, the party is having their sidebar with the King, yet we don't have a plan after that. Do we try and head back and stop Sir Onn'd with Alabaster? What if Alabaster CAN bring down the wall? Are there more sinister ulterior motives at hand? Each of these question need to be debated, but time is not on our side. We don't know if we have been followed and it's on good belief that the baddies have a general idea of their location...
​
​
​
Party Roll to beat 19
Mark 17 Matt Nat 20!!! Jose 16 Cory 4 Dusty Nat 1 Vanessa 7
Matt parties with himself. Technically he steamed himself on twitch, so the drinking didn't make him feel totally alone and weird. He ends up crying in the shower.
​
Back to the story
​
​
We jump ahead a few days. The Sandcrawler is fixed, we have AC again, the King is in a better mood.
Sarn takes the few days to atune to the staff we've been carrying around all this time.
The sandcrawler seems to be getting on, albeit a little slower. We've taken a wider path and heading away from the city, that way we hope, to go undetected. Unexpected to us, we come across what looks like to be a pop-up farm. Now for some reason, the King wants us to talk to these guys to warn them about current events. Basically our King wants us to bribe them into not telling anyone who may be passing by about our whereabouts. The King slings us some money and tells our party to give them a floppy excuse; so, CHOP CHOP.
We head towards this farmland area and Otto, loaded with full charisma decides to take the lead on this one. Otto approaches a farmer and introduces himself and the party at do-gooders. But then tells the farmer that nefarious people are after them, but here's a bag of gold to keep you mouth shut. It's not so easy; the farmers have no need for gold. They are on a barter system with each other. So we negotiate; the farmers need seed, food for the plants we destroyed with our sandcrawler and equipment for irrigation.
Ugh, well for a bunch of poor people, they certainly are good at gouging. Krimbim figures he can take some parts of an AC unit and maybe help them out.
Krimbim, roll for mechanics, lol 11 +3 with guidance from Otto, 14 Krimbim can make it seem like the equipment can work, without it actually working.
​
Sledge decides that he wants rakes. His "clever" plan is to have these rakes trail the sandcrawler and "cover" up our tracks so that no one can follow us. \slaps head**
Seeing as the farm has very little and now they are giving up their tools, the farmer says he'll take their gold sack now for the inconvenience. To add a cherry on top, we offer over the deed to our bar in the city that we took. We don't tell him that it's charred to shit.
Krimbim gets to working, Sarn goes looking for seeds. After some time, we've traded an AC, some food, seeds and the gold, keeping the deed to the bar and more importantly, having the farmer keep his mouth shut.
We rig up our rakes to the back of the crawler and as we set off, the tracks disappear and mimic more of a giant snake. Getting back on the trail, nightfall soon approaches and guards begin to murmur about movement out in the dunes. The King is a little worried. We are north of the city and heading east where the massive battles that took place 500 years ago happened. It's a boneyard. It's also the area where the storm wall coalesces and it rains sometimes, raining down magical energy on these bones, giving them life again for a limited time.
Reality starts to sink in. Can we actually continue in this sandcrawler? Is there a way to continue without it? Debate breaks out and we start evaluating our options. It may take weeks to safely get across this area with the Crawler. We decide that misdirection is the best option, so we have the Sandcrawler go off in one direction, have the King and guards go North, towards an old dwarven city in the mountains. We however, will traverse the boneland wasteland on horse back, making our way to the last known spot of the mechanic creators, in search for answers.
We pass this idea with the King who agrees to it.
​
SIT REP
We got ourselves the giant desert in the shape of an Oval. To the north is a Mountain region, where the greedy dwarves live. In the west, the Orciling folk live (orc ppl) They are almost all dead after what happened in the city with the staff and storm wall and the running into it. The south is just desert, where you have the town of Drybed and the larger city In the far east we have a place named 'Ricecomine', the old mechanical city. Its more rocky than sandy
​
​
We gather equipment for our new journey and are introduced to Krimbim's newest creation; An automaton that goes by the name of JBR 5. It's a large, 10 foot tall, very steam punk looking robot. It can carry a couple of people, minimal weapons, meant to carry storage and had limited talking capabilities. Sledge commands JBR 5 and forward we go.
​
Lots of travel happens and first day is pretty uneventful. Night comes and we find ourselves in a more rocky area. We haven't seen any bones yet, but we know we're heading in the right direction. We keep traveling and then we come across a narrow canyon. There IS a path above, but its rocky and would prove difficult with our horses/JBR 5. We decide to use JBR 5 to haul up our cart and horses across this steep rock face. The canyon is only about 20ft deep, so it's shallow. Gathering JBR 5, we path it forward until we come a "T" in the ravine, cutting off in front of us, forcing us to walk a few hundred yards around. Down in the ravine, Meeb notices there are small huts set up. A make shift fence is there and some mean ass dogs are already barking at him. This is a grinders hut. The bone pickers do their processing there and send off their product to the city when it is refined. A stranger spots Meeb and yells at him to identity himself. The distance makes it hard to hear and soon an arrow comes flying through the air towards Meeb....
--- To Be Continued ---
​
Is JBR 5 related to Carl 7?
​
Is this all a metaphor for the war on drugs in the 90's?!
​
What reeeeeeeeeeeeeallly is our plan after we get to the mechanical city?
​
​
Christ, this is getting deeper than a Vatican coloscopy and I sense things are only gunna get dirtier the deeper they go! Find out if it does, on the neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxtttttttttttt PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttttttttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
​
​
Quotes
"It's all about Pornhub comment pages now, that's how the kids are communicating these days" - Dusty
"Are you?!" Matt to Jose, who thinks his whore character is Lawful neutral
"Do unicorn horns go limp, whenever they are not aroused?" - Steven
"Their just Dwarfie about their property" - The king, in need of sensitivity training
"Well there is Sand Paul, but no one takes him seriously" - Dusty on a 3rd option for King
"Did you say 'suck the gringo outta you?" - Dusty, always mishearing things
​
​
​
​
​
Trivia
- Sledge gets a new Maul -Otto has become slightly more annoying by preaching to the party about his faith now. With pamphlets.
-And that's how you grow your own Pineapples https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4iDBK0U6po
-Sarn cannot fully attune to the staff, but he can use it. It comes with a charm spell.
-Bone pickers are commoners who go out in this world, steal the bones and grind them up to make magical essence. It's very addictive.
-The constructs/mechanics that created the storm wall still exist in this world, but there are only a few left.
-The magic rain tastes like 'Surge' and glows blue.
-Zydrate https://repo.fandom.com/wiki/Zydrate#:~:text=Zydrate%20is%20a%20highly%20addictive,in%20a%20little%20glass%20vial.
-Rory's wife said this was the worst movie she's ever seen, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qd7HXt6a78w
​
​
​
partyrollpodcast.com
@ party_roll on twitter
https://www.patreon.com/partyrollpodcast
Teener Time https://www.youtube.com/@TeenerTime
www.youtube.com/@PartyRollPodcast

My boss said this to me in private, referring to an autistic colleague. It really bothered me.
I (neuro-typical 37M) have been mentoring this colleague (neuro-divergent 34F) in programming, and a couple of tools we develop for. She lacks the bases because she's not from CS, she is kinda a slow learner, and asks way too random stuff, but I think she was making some progress.
After about 3 months of being together practically 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, my boss suddenly tells us (me and her together) last week that, for a while, we can't pair-program - instead, she needs to try and do some things alone.
The next day, I spoke with him - she wasn't around - and we were talking about her, and I inquired if he knew her condition, which he did, and I tried explaining that she requires extra help. That's when he said the quote in the title. He also said he did this so she could get a "dose of reality", because apparently, he saw her treating me badly - possibly in one of her bitching moments when she feels frustrated about learning, and possibly life issues and starts venting and being a bit toxic.
I have come to understand some of these things are due to her autism, but keep in mind I know very little about the subject. Hence this topic. I have also tried to make her at ease and relaxed, but I wonder if I'm correct in that.
I actually don't mind helping her, and I'm trying to work around her limitations, being empathetic with her. I'm not a tutor, and I was mainly appointed to this role because she was acting impulsively doing stuff at work that nobody asked, so I had to supervise.
I like her company, and passing so much time together, talking about life, admittedly, she has grown on me. She kinda funny 95% of the time she isn't frustrated or depressed. I am aware of the cardinal sin that is falling for coworkers, I am fighting my best to hold off those feelings, but I also don't have a social life, and she's basically the only friend I have.
I was thinking in offering some programming lessons outside of work. But I wonder if what my boss said is true, and I'm fighting an impossible battle here. Not trying to flex but: I got a degree in Math, I like complex problems, I do some hardcore shit in video games, ...in short: I believe it's possible to overcome great challenges with patience and training.
What my boss said though, was basically sealing her fate, as if she could never attain a certain level. I felt like blurting to him we don't do any complex stuff there, and I'm in that company because they pay is decent. That even the "senior" programmers sometimes make subpar code. And most of the team, despite being IT, can't code even if their life depended on it.
Also ironically, on that same day, we had some useless Team-learning event where we built Legos. Hers was a bug of sorts where she cleverly used the dismantling piece to make a head. Most everyone else did a low-effort, blocky shit, including my boss. And he has the gal to determine her creative potential like that.
But I would like to know your input, specially from programmers/problem-solvers.
(Not sure I broke rule 5, sorry if that's the case.)

This popped up on my app for some reason and I thought it deserved to be reshared. It was originally posted by u/ daydreamingawaytoo over two years ago but is still very applicable.
www.reddit.com/fundiesnarkiesnark/s/Y8rhtetsoW
Why I Snark
People ask me why I snark. Let me tell you, it’s not for the faint of heart. It takes a special kind of soul, someone with real grit and a fluency in sarcasm, interpreting body language, and sleuthing skills. My kids will say, “Mom, I’m hungry, can you please stop making Duggar FaceSwap edits?” My husband will sometimes tell me, “Oh my god, I don’t know any of these people, CAN WE TALK ABOUT LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE” when I tell him all about Jill Rodrigues overstaying her welcome at Nurie’s. And oh, I’ve seen some eyerolls when I suggested our family take the trek up to Arkansas so we can drive past the Duggar house (for research purposes, of course) so I can snap a picture of the TTH. Maybe they would even see our coexist bumper sticker and reevaluate their ways!
But nevertheless, through all of the judgement and small-mindedness, I persist. Why? Because someone has to do it. Someone has to wake the public up to the absolute HORROR SHOW that are fundies. What I do, I do for the good of the world. When Joy Duggar posts a photo of her son playing barefoot in the backyard, I get a frozen chill in my chest that radiates through my entire body. What if he stepped on a pine cone? What if he accidentally ate dirt? What if the earth swallowed him up whole? If I’m not reminding these brain dead idiots that they are terrible parents, who will? I have the authority. My kids, Soleil, Jude Bader-Ginsburg, and Organica have never tasted cream, sugar, dairy, or gluten. They have never played outside. They don’t even know what a “hairbow” is. I’m not looking for praise, I’m just saying I could easily do the mommy influencer thing if I wanted. Instead, I actually choose to spend my time working and fighting for a cause. It’s called morals, something fundies lack.
It’s almost a full time job reminding these fundie women that they are not as hot as they think they are. Women are not defined by their looks. But let me just say, as a 47 year woman who is naturally thin with no wrinkles and who often gets mistaken for a 19 year old, I know a thing or to about style and looks. Because I don’t agree with their beliefs, they are fair game and not protected by feminism. It’s just the rules. And as a #girlboss, this extends to children too. Whatever it takes to wake these people up. If Feliciteeeeeeee wants me to stop calling her names, maybe she should GET EMANCIPATED and write a dissertation on why LGBT rights are human rights. My son was quoting Gloria Steinem at 8 months old, there are no excuses.
Snarking for the greater good isn’t just about the hilarious witty and clever nicknames, or obsessively following Instagram pages. It’s also a community. It’s a place where a bunch of likeminded souls can spend hours analyzing a smile, using our gifts as empaths to get to the real feelings behind what less evolved people would see as a “normal family picture”. Its the primal rage we all feel when we see someone smiling with their mouth open. It’s going to the grocery store, seeing a jar of pickles, and quickly snapping a pic with a chuckle because you know your fellow snarkers will have a laugh. Its the mutual horror we all feel whenever someone eats a cream based soup. It’s sending Karissa $100 so she knows her baby names are fucking stupid. Sometimes I sit back and think, “This is what it must have felt like at Stonewall”
I’m not an Avenger. I’m certainly not a saint. I don’t wear a cape, but I do wear my heart on my sleeve. Im a proud atheist, liberal, feminist, purple haired “devils grass” smoking “heathen.” My very existence is political. The fundies would hate me and run away screaming when they see me, a WOMAN, showing knees and shoulders, unshaven legs, tattoos, purple hair, and piercings. What about my shirt, that says “Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History?” Yeah, Boob would probably faint on the spot.
I’m a snarker, which means I wear many hats: expert on fundamentalism and religion, psychiatrist, social worker, medical doctor, body language expert, lawyer, judge, jury, parenting expert, stylist, interior decorator, nutritionist, expert chef, private investigator, activist....and warrior.

thisiswhyisnark

Creating the perfect sugar baby tagline is essential to catch the eye of a potential sugar daddy and make your profile stand out. This post draws insights from various sources to help you craft a compelling and memorable tagline.
Keep it simple but expressive — A tagline should be concise, usually limited to a brief phrase. Incorporating a bit of your personality or expectations, like suggesting fun trips where the other party handles expenses, can immediately communicate your style and intent.
Add a touch of enigma or humor — Unique elements such as a philosophical quote or a clever joke can spark interest and encourage deeper engagement. A thought-provoking tagline invites viewers to learn more about your intriguing persona.
Reflect your intentions clearly — Align your tagline with your dating goals. Light-hearted phrases suit casual relationships, while more serious undertones can signal a desire for profound connections or specific arrangements.
Avoid overused clichés — To stand out, avoid generic or vague statements. Opt for taglines that highlight unique traits or interests, helping make your profile memorable in a sea of sameness.
Consider the visuals — Your tagline should work in tandem with your profile picture and bio to create a cohesive and appealing narrative. This harmony enhances your profile's overall impact.
Test your tagline — Gathering feedback before finalizing your tagline can unveil different perceptions and improve its effectiveness. Insights from peers can refine your approach and maximize your tagline's appeal.
Keep it fresh — Regularly updating your tagline can refresh your profile and attract attention from new sugar daddies, keeping your dating prospects vibrant.
A well-crafted sugar baby tagline not only captures attention but effectively conveys your personality and intentions, setting the stage for the right interactions with potential sugar daddies.

I don't know where this idea comes from, but frankly: you have to have not been paying any significant attention, or, be high off your ass to think this up. And the only impetus for it seems to be the fact that the Banished have been having a string of victories, as of late.
The reason for the Banished's recent victories, out-of-universe, is simply because 343's writers have come to the conclusion that in order for the protagonists of the stories you write to be relatable and sympathetic and the one you want to root for... they have to actually be threatened by their adversary, and even be the underdog. What a shocker. As it turns out, "we are the giants, now" isn't particularly compelling when the story still expects you to fear for the protagonist's safety and success. The irony, of course, is that Humanity was the underdog since the very start of the franchise, and was getting itself absolutely reamed by the Covenant, every step of the way. Often, the only victory Humanity could achieve on a regular basis was the luxury of losing on their own terms (thanks, Thane Bishop, of YouTube). It's just easy to forget that when all people are exposed to or want to see more of is "SpOrtUN do SPOrtUNing! Sportun Harder!"
No, the Banished are nowhere near the size or overall military strength of the Covenant. If they were: the UNSC would already be completely destroyed, by this point. No, the Banished didn't "take" Suban from the Sangheili. As far as we know, they've just been fighting over some choice kemuksuru mines on Suban, and accomplished their infiltration thanks to some traitors letting them in through the back-door. Neither side has achieved a decisive "win" on that front, yet, and that's considering the fact that the Sangheili had collectively been demilitarized by Cortana for a whole year. No, the Banished absorbing Vata 'Gajat's faction, or the NCA, is not an especially important landmark. Especially considering neither force has ever been attributed with any significant accolades or deeds— nor have either of them actually done anything of consequence.
Not only that, but on-paper, the comparison doesn't even make sense.
The Covenant had over a thousand worlds that paid direct taxes to High Charity— known as Tithe-Worlds. Presumably, this doesn't include typical colonies, frontier-worlds, outposts, space-stations, or isolated platforms. The fleet escorting High Charity, itself, had anywhere from 1,200 to 2,000 ships (which I seriously doubt accounts for even 5% of the total number of ships the Empire had). The sudden and total loss of a fleet of 500 warships and a vital repairesupply platform (Unyielding Hierophant) was a small enough deal to the Covenant's overall size and economy: that it was kept a complete secret not only from the whole of the Covenant's parliament, but also from two of the three heads-of-state. And on top of all of that: Halsey basically says point-blank in Ghosts of Onyx that fighting/killing Humans wasn't the Covenant's top-priority until the discovery of Alpha Halo. I've seen some insist that this was "retconned" by Halsey's Journal, but if it was: it beggars the question as to exactly how since any info in that book would have been in the context of knowledge Halsey didn't have until GoO, and why Halsey's quote from GoO wasn't edited or changed in the later editions of the book. 343 have changed particular details to make the older books realign with new lore, and that piece of dialogue wasn't one of them. For all intents and purposes, the Covenant slaughtered hundreds of Human worlds with paltry resistance, possibly nearing 700 if you highball it. And they weren't particularly trying all that hard, considering most fleets fighting in Human space were anywhere from 5-15 in size (a fleet of 12 being considered "large" even by the end of the war), with fleets in the 100-300 range being considerably rarer to be fielded against the UNSC.
The Banished, meanwhile, aren't stated to have principal ownership of... any planets, whatsoever. They exclusively recruit people who already have the resources and skills that they want on their side, rather than raising and training soldiers, themselves, which isn't indicative of a massive amount of economic strength or military power. They have recently began designing and building their own ships, but the majority of their hardware is scavenged Covenant tech. The Banished are at their absolute strongest since their existence began, but that's chiefly due to Doisac going kablooey, and the entire Jiralhanae race being homeless and joining the Banished out of desperation.
The Covenant, meanwhile, had a monopoly on... every Covenant species, and all resources thereof. Whereas the Banished are not stated to have nearly such a stranglehold on anybody.
Frankly: the math ain't mathing, as far as the assertion that the Banished are now more powerful than the Covenant was. You could make the supposition that the Banished are now the largest Post-Covenant faction, but even that's questionable since, as far as we know: they are still just nomadic mercenaries and pillagers, rather than being a proper interstellar polity. How did the Banished avoid the Covenant destroying them? The same way any smaller force outmaneuvers a larger one. Guerilla tactics and clever decisions (thanks, Atriox).
Their recent successes are likely a testament to how chaotic and unpredictable the galaxy has become, and how adaptable the Banished are. You have the UNSC, drunk off its ass and trying to get hit its stride again; you have the Swords who were recently disarmed and then forced to rearm nearly from scratch; you have however many "hundreds" (according to Escalation) of warlords all claiming a piece of the Covenant's former territory; you have Venezia becoming a 26th century Tortuga; you have the Created AIs scrounging up what Forerunner machines and assets they can and trying to make cyborg attack-dogs; you have whatever the Hell Luro 'Taralumee and Ke 'Nzahz are doing. The UEG is effectively dead in the water, half its former colonies are probably either out of the loop or defecting due to old Insurrectionist tendencies— what have you.
What other kind of environment would a bloodthirsty mercenary group of nomadic killers and treasure-hunters thrive in, better than this one??

Game Information
Game Title: Crow Country
Platforms:

• Xbox Series X/S (May 9, 2024)
  
• PlayStation 5 (May 9, 2024)
  
• PC (May 9, 2024)
  

Trailer:
Developer: SFB Games
Review Aggregator:
OpenCritic - 82 average - 81% recommended - 17 reviews
Critic Reviews
Destructoid - Zoey Handley - 9 / 10

Crow Country doesn’t exactly rewrite the playbook for survival horror. It leans pretty heavily on those that came before it. However, what it builds on top of the foundation is extraordinarily impressive. This is easily one of the best horror games I’ve played, and it doesn’t even seem like it’s trying that hard. It maybe lacks some of the more psychological themes that have made others stick firmly in my memory, but the playfulness and confidence of Crow Country more than make up for that. It’s definitely worth a visit.

Digital Spy - Ben Rayner - 4.5 / 5

Crow Country is one of the best experiences of the year so far, and we think it will be talked about in the same tones as last year's Signalis for its sheer creativity and efforts to reignite passion for the survival-horror genre.

Dragnix - Shaun Joy - 91 / 100

The nostalgia that Crow Country brings forward is purposeful and effective, while keeping a strong atmosphere and a challenge for those who love the survival Horror genre. A few missteps can't keep this game from becoming one you'll want to replay right away.

Game Informer - Marcus Stewart - 8 / 10

As reductive as it sounds, when it comes to delivering a classic survival horror experience, Crow Country is a good “one of those.” Familiar elements and tropes are well executed, and the succinct runtime of five to six hours is perfect for its smaller scope. I had fun reliving the genre’s golden years through Crow Country’s eyes; playing it feels like relaxing under a warm, blood-stained blanket.

Game Rant - Dalton Cooper - 4 / 5

Fans of classic survival horror games don't need to think twice about picking up Crow Country. The game is a love letter to old-school horror titles from the 90s, and is one of the better attempts at recreating the feel of PS1 horror on modern platforms. It's a short, but sweet adventure with solid replay value and fun puzzles that perfectly captures the feeling of playing an old horror game on a PS1. The optional Exploration mode, which does away with combat to let players focus entirely on puzzle-solving, means that even horror fans who don't like 90s-era survival horror combat and ammo management can safely pick up Crow Country and have a great time.

GameXplain - Thomas Arnold - 8 / 10

Video Review - Quote not available

GamesRadar+ - Leon Hurley - 4 / 5

Filled with great puzzles and an engaging world, Crow Country is a well made recreation of how you remember classic 90s horror games. It's familiar enough to feel authentic but different enough to keep things mysterious.

Guardian - Sarah Maria Griffin - 5 / 5

This lushly detailed game with a chunkily retro polygonal protagonist is a gorgeous homage to landmark titles of the past

Hobby Consolas - Daniel Quesada - Spanish - 84 / 100

A great love letter to the origins of 32-bit survival horror. Well-thought-out puzzles and nostalgia with some humor and horror make this a short experience, but very satisfying, especially for veterans of the genre.

PC Gamer - Wes Fenlon - 77 / 100

A no-fat riff on the early days of survival horror that knows just what to streamline and what to keep pleasingly obtuse.

PlayStation Universe - Adam Byrne - 7.5 / 10

Though appearing a touch derivative at first glance, Crow Country breaks from tradition in a number of smart ways, delivering a well-rounded, memorable experience that cements it as one of the better survival horror throwbacks of recent memory.

Press Start - Brodie Gibbons - 7.5 / 10

Crow Country is a quaint compilation of survival horror's many time-tested tropes, from its tank controls to its labyrinthian network of corridors. For all it loads into a relatively small package, it pays homage to its roots within an irresistible framework from the antiquated era once befitting the original PlayStation.

Push Square - Graham Banas - 8 / 10

It’s truly impressive what SFB Games has accomplished with such a small team. If you like 90s horror games — Resident Evil especially — then you owe it to yourself to try out Crow Country.

Rock, Paper, Shotgun - Alice Bell - Unscored

Crow Country puts more emphasis on puzzles than the survival part of survival horror, but it's a well-observed love letter to the genre with great attention to detail all over the place. It's somehow equal parts charming and creepy.

Screen Rant - Ben Brosofsky - 4.5 / 5

Crow Country might not be a new genre-defining title, as its aspirations in both scares and scale are reasonably modest. It is, however, an excellent journey into a deftly rendered setting, and it's hard to find significant fault with its intimate understanding of what makes this sort of thing tick. Crow Country is an assured love letter to the original crop of classic survival horror titles, but what really matters is that it's a delightful new entry in its own right.

Slant Magazine - Steven Scaife - 3.5 / 5

Given the sheer amount of hints and instructional text plastered all over its environments, Crow Country is tuned to be approachable and readily digestible. You’ll never find yourself desperate for resources or racking your brain over a fiendish puzzle. Even the old-school tank controls are optional, mapped to the D-pad just in case any players feel compelled to experiment before going back to the analog stick. These decisions are hardly out of step with the pleasantly nostalgic presentation, but they also ensure that the game succeeds far more as a puzzle object than as a horror freak-out. For better and for worse, Crow Country goes down smoothly.

Use a Potion - 9 / 10

Crow County is a wonderful love letter to the survival horror releases of the 90s that captures the essence of the era perfectly. The best part of all? It’s not afraid to embrace some modern ideas to make the experience more intuitive and accessible for all players. Between the wonderful old-school visuals, the intriguing storytelling, the exciting combat scenarios, and the clever puzzling, Crow Country will really hook fans of the survival horror genre in from start to end. And if you enjoyed its inspirations back in the day? It’ll feel even more special to play.

Game Information

Game Title: Animal Well
Platforms:

• PlayStation 5 (May 9, 2024)
• Nintendo Switch (May 9, 2024)
• PC (May 9, 2024)

Trailer:

• ANIMAL WELL - Release Date Trailer

Developer: Billy Basso
Publisher: Bigmode
Review Aggregator:
OpenCritic - 89 average - 100% recommended - 26 reviews

Critic Reviews

But Why Tho? - Charles Hartford - 9 / 10

Animal Well delivers a gorgeous art style paired with unique gameplay and an uncompromising vision

CGMagazine - Jordan Biordi - 9 / 10

Animal Well kept me captivated from start to finish and long after. Fans of Metroid-likes NEED to play this.

COGconnected - Jaz Sagoo - 80 / 100

Animal Well is a refreshing twist on the Metroidvania formula. Its tight platforming and clever puzzles make each exhilarating trek to distinct regions a blast. Although the retro-inspired art direction and odd presentation may not resonate with everyone, the originality and charm that imbues the game make this trip to the absurd a must for fans of the genre.

Checkpoint Gaming - Omi Koulas - 8.5 / 10

Uncover secrets, evade dangers, and embark on an eerie journey in ANIMAL WELL. Billy Basso has crafted a dark neon aesthetic and enigmatic gameplay that delivers a Metroidvania unlike many others. The mystery and cryptic puzzles won't be for everyone, but those who enjoy a challenge and a good platformer will be rewarded with a haunting adventure.

Destructoid - Jamie Sharp - 10 / 10

It’s one I’m grateful I experienced knowing so little, and urge anyone else sitting on the fence to wholeheartedly embrace until the darkness and biologically fueled light sources of its world envelop you in your beautiful, if slightly chilly, new home.

Digital Trends - Giovanni Colantonio - 4 / 5

Animal Well's deep secrets and arresting atmosphere will suck you down the rabbit hole.

DualShockers - Sam Woods - 9.2 / 10

Animal Well is sure to be one of 2024's surprise hits. It's Metroidvania gameplay plays second fiddle to a seemingly endless mystery

Eurogamer - Christian Donlan - 5 / 5

Explore a bright vision of subterranean nature in this astonishingly rich Metroidvania.

Game Informer - Charlie Wacholz - 9 / 10

Teeming with life, secrets, and charm that surprise and delight, Animal Well held my full, undivided attention

GameSpot - Richard Wakeling - 9 / 10

Animal Well delights with its non-traditional approach to Metroidvanias, combining unique items with a reactive and surreal world that's full of surprises.

GamesRadar+ - Jon Bailes - 4.5 / 5

Without giving anything away, it suffices to say that this rabbit hole goes a long way down, and if Animal Well is a Metroidvania, it's so much more besides.

Hardcore Gamer - James Cunningham - 4.5 / 5

Animal Well is a stunner of a metroidvania, usually charming but frequently creepy, mysterious but by no means unapproachable, and filled from top to bottom with secrets that are always satisfying to uncover.

Hobby Consolas - Alberto Lloret - Spanish - 92 / 100

Animal Well is one of the most interesting indie games that has been released so far in 2024.

IGN - Rebekah Valentine - 9 / 10

Animal Well is a beautiful, multi-layered puzzle box that’s both fun to simply play around with, and an utter delight to slowly crack open, secret by secret.

Nintendo Life - Nile Bowie - 10 / 10

Developer Shared Memory's stated goal is "to craft complete experiences that will be playable long after the world loses its internet connection," and screen after screen, Animal Well excels in delighting your eyes and giving your brain something to stew on. It's a riposte against a culture of post-launch updates in favour of a meticulously crafted, singular vision with potentially years' worth of discoveries baked in. By all indications, Animal Well delivers on that long-term promise and does so with a one-of-a-kind elegance.

NintendoWorldReport - Willem Hilhorst - 8.5 / 10

Even though it drops a few balls while juggling all these mechanics together, such as the boss battles. Still, ANIMAL WELL is a brilliantly put together game that I'd highly recommend to anyone who wants to get lost in a small but intricately designed game. I am quite convinced that both designers and players will be delving down deeper into this well over the coming years.

PC Gamer - Shaun Prescott - 90 / 100

A sleep-destroying puzzle metroidvania of baffling depth, Animal Well may go down in history as one of the genre's best.

PCGamesN - Lauren Bergin - 8 / 10

Despite its confusing fast travel system and misbehaving yo-yo, Animal Well is a bizarre yet brilliant neon-bathed adventure, characterized by tricky puzzles, intense platforming, and a host of cute animals - almost all of which are out to kill you.

PSX Brasil - Victor Vitório - Portuguese - 85 / 100

Animal Well is stunning and mysterious, a visual treat that offers open-ended and thought-provoking exploration. The total lack of explanations may put off part of the audience, but those who are willing to see how deep the iceberg, or rather the pit, goes, will have a lot to enjoy in this surrealist metroidvania.

Push Square - Stephen Tailby - 8 / 10

Animal Well is an extremely rewarding game — if you're willing to lose yourself in it. The sort of mysteries it's hiding go well beyond finding collectibles, giving you a rich and detailed world to unpack. If you have the patience and the curiosity, it's absolutely worth plumbing its depths.

Rock, Paper, Shotgun - Edwin Evans-Thirlwell - Unscored

A gorgeous and immensely absorbing metroidvania platformer that is both easy to get into and dense with secrets.

Shacknews - TJ Denzer - 8 / 10

Animal Well is one of the strangest metroidvanias I’ve played in a lot of very good ways. It’s pretty, funny, and scary in its atmospheric visuals and audio. Its platforming is also very satisfying and makes you feel good when you figure out how to use your tools properly to solve a puzzle. There are also secrets a plenty and a post-game to explore, as well. It's also just interesting to me that you don't directly fight with enemies and instead use your tools to work around them. The main double-edged sword here is the complete lack of context and hand-holding, which makes Animal Well charming and mysterious, but can make it difficult to keep track of what you were doing or where you should be going next. Nonetheless, if you want a solid and quirky adventure that will put your reflexes and puzzle-solving to the test, Animal Well is an absolutely fascinating journey.

Skill Up - Ralph Panebianco - Unscored

Video Review - Quote not available

TechRaptor - Andrew Stretch - 10 / 10

Animal Well is a game that promised platforming and puzzles and has managed to absolutely nail both in execution. Platforming fans will have an enjoyable time reaching the credits and will be content to set it down while puzzle gamers will be enamored by the depth that Animal Well has been able to achieve. You won't get more satisfied by a game solving puzzles like these.

TheGamer - Eric Switzer - 5 / 5

This is a game best played alongside friends who can go in without any expectations and work through obstacles together. Don’t expect to be able to solve everything on your own, but at the same time, do everything you can not to ask for help. If you can be comfortable with contradictions like that, you’ll find a lot to love in Animal Well.

Wccftech - Kai Tatsumoto - 8.6 / 10

Animal Well is a fantastic breakout title from both a new developer and publishing studio. Fans of Fez and Tunic will feel right at home jumping into this well.

Blurb: Stranded on the hell-planet of Arachnea, the last remnants of the human Fleet fight to survive in a world overrun by insectoid monsters and a sentient ecosystem gone mad. It is a war they are destined to lose, as with every century that passes, more of the ancient science lies forgotten, replaced by myth and superstition. That is, until assistant navigator Rene stumbles the mightiest weapon of the ancestor-gods...
Link to 1st chapter here: 1st chapter on HFY
Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
“I can’t agree with your conclusion,” Deschane said, “This calcite formation is remarkable, but how can you say with certainty it’s the work of thinking beings?” “Because there are obvious symbolisms. Again, another thing we thought them incapable of. Notice how the stalactites are arranged?”
Rene squinted. There was no pattern to it. Then Prota asked: “What star points northward in the month of Clemdas?”
“Brahe.” Both he and the navigator said simultaneously. Comprehension dawned upon them. The Amit had shaped the ceiling with careful applications of acid, carving it such that every major constellation in the night sky was represented in the domes by a glittering array of water droplets. Even Deschane gaped at the realization: the Amit could read the stars just as they did.
“But that isn’t all.” Prota took a torch from a nearby stanchion and held it aloft. The curious geometric figures etched into the ceiling above them resolved themselves into abstract images.
Three great ovoid shapes threaded their way through the star-strewn sky, each trailing behind it wavering tails of fire.
“Thus it came to pass that the sons of Man fled from the desolate earth. In three gilded ships they rode, and tails of flame as fierce as a dying sun burned behind them as their mighty engines drove them into the deathless void. Of these blessed machines it was decreed that three would be their holy number, for then if one lost resonance and rebelled, then two could set the course aright…”
She had quoted from the first page of the Book of Old Terra, oldest and most sacred of texts that dealt with the coming of the ancestor--gods.
“Three ships. Three tails of fire for each one.”
Rene’s head swam with the implications.
“Then why haven’t we seen such things before? In other conquered mounds?” Deschane demanded.
“You know as well as I that each individual mound contains an entirely separate race of Amit. You were not here when we took this place. It exacted a terrible price. There was a week of close quarter fighting in the entrance hall. In some places there the bodies were stacked four or six deep.”
“They were a strange sub-species. Jaundice yellow rather than white, small yet highly vicious. They led us into countless ambushes. They knew how to feint a charge to draw a volley, retreat and charge again while we reloaded. When the eastern wall finally fell…” her voice trailed away, and she looked away troubled. “As we swarmed in, we found what was left of them all hunched together. As though they were holding some final communion. As we neared, we saw what they’d done. They’d sat in circles facing one another, and thrust their claws down their own throats. They severed their own cortical bundles. A mass suicide. It was rather disturbing. We only had a few corpses of them to examine, and all heavily damaged, but from what we could see they had abnormal growth in their frontal lobes. They were special. They were aware of the massacre that awaited them, and they chose their own way out. It was almost noble, really”
“You sound as though you admire them.” Deschane said.
“I appreciate the function they serve. Surely, navigator, you realize that without them the Fleet would have died out long ago?”
It was true. The Amit expanded cave systems, honeycombing the limestone with claw and acid, building the feeder towers in such a way that the life-giving mixture of carbon dioxide rich air extended all throughout the confines of the mounds. These were the sites for the only permanent settlements the Fleet could inhabit. And so they took the works of the enemy and put him to the bayonet, making homes of his fortresses, hard won in battles that raged far from the light of the twin suns of this cruel planet. They bored their way through, blasting apart his alien warrens to make way for smooth white tunnels, egress points, ventilation shafts, fields to grow glowing crops of fungus. In so doing they survived.
Deschane scoffed.
“That is entirely coincidental. We evolved to become their predators, and vice versa. Nature designed us to be adversaries. Besides, if the ancestor--gods willed them into being, then why did they vanish and leave us to tear each other apart?”
“That is what we hope to learn.”
“This makes no sense,” Deschane growled, “So they share the same legends as we do. What of it? They merely confirm what we already know.”
“But we don’t know, navigator. The knowledge we possess is next to nothing compared to what we have forgotten.”
“We know enough. We know that it is our destiny to claim this planet even if it means striding over the corpse of every single living thing on it.”
“Navigator, you seem to forget that we only rediscovered the uses of black powder a century ago. We have lost so much in our time on this world. Anything that can begin our process of recovery is to be cherished.”
“Even when it comes from the hand of the enemy?” Deschane’s eyes glinted fiercely.
“This is not the only depiction within the mound. There are sculptures, acid paintings, more engravings like the ones you see before you now. Most have no parallel in the book of old terra-they are events unrecorded in all the annals of our history. That is why 13 is so important. There are mysteries here both sacred and profane. It is touched by the god--ancestors themselves.”
“Our structural engineers have surveyed this place. They say it is impossible for it to have remained intact as it has for millennia. They said that wind or gravity should have destroyed it long ago. Yet it stands. Something is keeping this place together. Something which given time we may discover. It is almost as though it has been waiting for us to take it.”
“What does it all mean?” Rene said aloud.
“That old myth is merely history distilled. That we do not belong here, and never have. That the Amit are intelligent beyond a doubt and know us for what we truly are.”
“Delusional,” spat Deschane.
“Calm yourself Navigator,” Prota drew herself. “There is a reason command is willing to sacrifice you and thousands of others to keep this place safe. I understand your frustrations-”
“Do you? I’ve just lost eighteen good men for the sake of meaningless conjecture!”
“Please consider the implications. For the first time, the Fleet will know where it came from, and why it is here! For the first time, we can move forward on a basis of solid fact rather than doubtful superstition! We will have true knowledge of the past!”
“To the void with the past!” Deschane was raging, “Why waste breath upon it? There are beasts out there, madame, in their millions, slavering hordes that eat children and empty whole settlements of life! They are the sole reason mankind cannot live in comfort and security. They must be eradicated. All else is irrelevant.”
They locked eyes and stood inches apart.
The situation was only defused when a man came running up to Admiral Prota. He leant forward and whispered in her ear.
Her eyes widened in alarm.
“One of your men has been seen approaching the outpost.”
“Lethway!” Rene yelled. He ran in the direction of the pressure gate, pounding through the corridors and thrusting aside the people standing in his way.
“Open the gate!” cried Prota as she, Deschane and her retinue came followed from behind. He scrambled into the decontamination chamber, hastily pulled on his sealant suit and strapped on the mask. The others donned their surface gear and joined him as the great iron slabs heaved aside.
Hurriedly they made their way down the rough-hewn steps of the barbican, all the way down to the palisades, where a small crowd had gathered on the walls to watch. They cleared a path when they saw the Admiral.
“Where is he?” Deschane asked the men standing about. They pointed vaguely northward, unsure themselves, and he pulled out his binoculars.
“It’s him alright,” he said, sounding impressed. “He survived.”
“How?”
“Ask him when you meet.”
With a rare smile he handed the lenses to Rene, whose heart leapt. Beyond a small thicket of trees in the distance was a wide clearing, into which a familiar figure now emerged. Against all odds, he was back safe. Rene could have shouted for joy.
But as he adjusted the magnification knob and the image of his friend came into crisp focus, he realized there was something wrong.
“He’s not wearing a mask.” Rene said in horror.
“Rene! Ensign, wait!”
He bounded off the platform and ran for the entrance. Cursing, Deschane snatched the musket from the hands of the nearest trooper and yelled:

“Someone get me a spare!”
A mask was found in haste and tossed his way. He caught it and dashed after Rene, who had already begun making for the tree line.
“Ensign, stop! That’s an order!”
Rene ignored him and ploughed on.
He reached the thicket and was about to burst through the other side when a strong hand grasped his ankle and he came crashing down.
“Wait,” Deschane said gruffly. Rene squirmed but the navigator was sitting calmly on the back of his knees, and he could not pull free. “Rene! Listen to me.”
“What are you doing! He’ll die out here without a mask-”
“How do you suppose he lost it?” hissed Deschane, as he pulled Rene forcefully back into cover.
Hundreds of meters away, Lethway emerged into the clearing. He was sprinting at full pelt, not jogging as they had supposed. His clothes were torn and besmirched with mud, his sealant suit one great ragged mass of polymer that hung by a single sleeve.
They stopped struggling and turned to watch. Fear was evident in his posture: every movement of his body suggested that of a hunted man.
“Those clever bastards.” Deschane said sadly. “Haven’t you realized? He’s already dead.”
“What are talking about, sir? He’s right there! If we give my mask to him in time, we can rush him into the depressurization chamber-”
“They let him live. They knew more of us had survived, so they held off and followed him home. He doesn’t know it, but he’s led them straight to us.”
Sure enough, in the acre of woods across the clearing they saw scores of shadows moving furtively between the trees. Rene’s blood ran cold.
“Ancestors preserve us.”
“Don’t count on it. There’s enough of them there to level a full settlement.”
Lethway drew closer, looking constantly behind him and stumbling over his feet. Deschane pursed his lips. His hand ran down the length of the musket and found the trigger guard.
“There’s nothing more we can do for him. And if he keeps running this way, they’re bound to find the outpost.”
It took Rene a few moments to process what he was saying. He looked at him in disbelief.
Deschane went down on one knee. He placed the percussion cap and thumbed the hammer back.
Rene watched him in horrid fascination.
“It’s a hard thing,” the navigator was saying, settling into a marksman’s crouch, “But there’s still a chance we can save Mound 13.”
He aimed down the iron sight.
It was a terrible form of arithmetic, to weigh the value of one life against that of a thousand. But in that moment, Rene reached the same, gut-wrenching conclusion. He reached out and placed a hand on the barrel, forcing it to point at the ground. They looked at each other, and an understanding passed between them.
A few yards away, Lethway sobbed as he caught sight of the outpost rising up from out of the trees. It was nothing short of a miracle that he’d made it this far. He caught the glint of metal in the undergrowth, and with a cry of delight saw a human face peering back at him from beneath the shade. He raised his hands up high in greeting.
There was a sharp report, and a blinding flash. Lethway stumbled as though he’d been tripped and lay very still.
Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road

Hello everyone,
I'm currently looking into my next electric toy, and after considering a few options (EV6, Mach-E, IX3, Enyaq, and ID7), I visited some dealerships, and two stand out: the Enyaq and the ID 7 Tourer.
I really like the look of both and their practicality. The only downsides I see are the lack of one-pedal driving and the absence of a frunk.
What I particularly appreciate about both is the good sound system, panoramic roof, LED matrix headlights (as well as the space).
Regarding my profile, I'm a heavy driver, at least 30,000 km per year (70% highway).
After getting two quotes for fully optioned cars, there's a €500 difference in favor of the ID7 (but it's better valued by leasers because it's a brand-new car).
What I like about the Enyaq is the SUV aspect, and I'll be in familiar territory (I've been driving an Enyaq 80 estate for over two years), its practicality in terms of loading height, passage space, and Skoda's simply clever features (retractable rear sunshades) and RS finishes (and the "power" RS, far from a Tesla, but it'll be a change from my current car).
What I appreciate about the ID7 is the lounge-like feel (rarely been in seats so comfortable) and the massaging (for both the back and seat) and ventilated (with Skoda, I'd have to go for the CK finish, so I'd lose the RS aspect). Thanks to the battery, it's more of a crossover than a standard sedan (same ground clearance as the Mach-E) and the integrated technology of the intelligent panoramic roof, which is really nice.
What holds me back for each, with Skoda, is the aging infotainment system, and especially the fact that it's already entering its third year. With VW, it's all digital, no way to adjust airflows manually, touch-sensitive buttons on the steering wheel, and transitioning from an SUV to a sedan, I'm afraid of losing that high driving comfort.
Did I forget anything in my understanding? What's your opinion?
Thanks in advance