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To catch a criminal, you have to think like one
2011.09.11 15:21 add7 To catch a criminal, you have to think like one
An elite group of profilers analyze the nation's most dangerous criminal minds in an effort to anticipate their next moves before they strike again. An unofficial fan subreddit dedicated to the TV Show Criminal Minds.
2024.05.15 22:15 ironmandavinci Help
My name is Anthony Michael Dimarcello and I am in need of an injustice relief immediately. Below are the details. My number is 714-860-8062.
I am in Orange county California and my family and I need emergency relief. We were victims of a retaliatory eviction in Aug of 2021 after I complained to the authorities and housing is key about being harassed by my landlord for being enrolled in the covid rental relief program and paying only 25% of the rent until my lease was up. In the same month as the retaliatory eviction, Aug 2021, I was also the victim of identity theft from the 2021 TMobile data breach. The following month of Sept 2021, the data breach gave criminals the ability to abuse my digital accounts which caused the closure of my bank accounts, and led to my vehicles, remaining assets and my business to be unmanageable and taken from me in various ways. My disabled mom and my son lived with me. My son has been with his mom fulltime since Aug 2021 and my disabled mom and I have been homeless since Aug 2021. I have not been able to recover since my family and I were attacked. Now I am stuck in a mercy house shelter that does not allow me to leave which prohibits me from being able to recover. The security at mercy house also stole a vehicle that was donated to me. My disabled mom and I have been homeless for three years. I have been in the mercy house shelter and not able to leave for two years. My disabled mother has suffered multiple life threatening injuries since we were attacked, including being vulnerable to attack from having an asthma attack and beat almost to death by a predator And being on life support and hospitalized for over a month. I have also suffered multiple life threatening injuries including four fractured ribs and skin infections from sleeping outside in the rain. My sons mother, Sylvia, At a moments notice when I was attacked, disenfranchised and no longer able to share custody of our son due to the threat of him being in danger by unknown assailants and no home for him to reside with me, Sylvia was able to immediately care for our son fulltime with no help from me, while managing her career and a new fiance since the attacks began in Aug 2021. My son is suffering psychologically considering I have worked from home since he was born and was never separated from him until the attacks when he was 9 years old. He is the only witness to the full extent of the attacks and I do not want him anymore involved or to be interrogated. He witnessed the harassment of the landlord, and having his father and everything we built together taken. The acts of everyone involved went against everything I have ever taught him was possible and he had to witness me get shut down trying to get us help over and over and over. I clearly had no idea this was possible either or I would have been prepared for it and would have known to get my son away from myself and the entire event much sooner. I have also been arrested several times due to my id theft and never had a record or any legal issues until this attack happened.
Based on the legal information provided, if you are a victim in Orange County, California, in need of emergency relief, you may be eligible to seek an ex parte order, which is a temporary restraining order that can be issued without notice, if an affidavit shows reasonable proof of past acts of abuse. Additionally, the court may issue orders enjoining a party from various behaviors, such as molesting, attacking, striking, stalking, threatening, or harassing the victim or other named family or household members.
It is important to act promptly and seek the necessary legal assistance to ensure your safety and protection under the law.
Reasoning:.
People v. Clayburg (Court of Appeal, Second District, Division 6, California., 2012): Discusses the issuance of restraining orders under Family Code sections for the protection of victims and family members.
Grega v. Vroman (United States District Court, W.D. Pennsylvania, Erie Division, 2024): Provides insights into the legal sufficiency of a complaint and the standards applied in evaluating claims.
Based on the legal information provided in Casemine knowledge base, you may have potential legal recourse in your situation. Here are some relevant Judgments from the document that can assist in formulating an answer to your current legal question:
Nativi v. Deutsche Bank Nat'l Trust Co. (Court of Appeal, Sixth District, California., 2014):
For your specific circumstances, it is advisable to consult with a local attorney specializing in landlord-tenant law or housing rights in Orange County, California. They can provide personalized legal advice and guidance tailored to your situation, including potential remedies and assistance available to you.
If you require further assistance or clarification, please feel free to ask.
Emergency injunctive relief for victims of civil rights violations and identity theft
Based on the legal information provided in the Casemine knowledge base, the Opinions that are relevant to formulating an answer to your current legal question are as follows:
SOSTRE v. ROCKEFELLER, (S.D.N.Y. 1970): This Opinion discusses the issuance of injunctive relief against state officials for violating Fourteenth Amendment rights and emphasizes that injunctive relief must be granted when a violation of constitutional rights has been proved.
CALIFORNIA CORRECTIONAL PEACE OFFICERS v. STATE (Court of Appeal of California, First District, Division Two., 2000): This Opinion discusses the criteria for granting injunctive relief against criminal investigations, highlighting the need for extraordinary circumstances and irreparable harm.
ADRIAN v. WESTAR ENERGY (United States District Court, D. Kansas, 2011): This Opinion outlines the factors required to grant injunctive relief, including showing irreparable injury, balancing of harms, public interest, and likelihood of success on the merits.
Seth v. McDonough (UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE DISTRICT OF MARYLAND, 2020): This Opinion emphasizes that emergency injunctive relief is an extraordinary remedy, requiring a clear showing that the plaintiff is entitled to relief.
ADAIR v. ENGLAND, (D.D.C. 2002): This Opinion discusses the legal standards and jurisdiction required to entertain a motion for injunctive relief, emphasizing the need for a filed complaint and related issues.
Based on the legal principles discussed in these Opinions, it is important to establish the following to seek emergency injunctive relief for victims of civil rights violations and identity theft:
Likelihood of Success on the Merits: You need to demonstrate a clear showing that your civil rights have been violated and that you are entitled to relief under the law.
Irreparable Harm: Show that you will suffer irreparable harm if injunctive relief is not granted, such as ongoing violations of your rights or continued harm to you or your family.
Balance of Harms: Illustrate that the harm you are facing outweighs any potential harm that granting the injunction may cause to the opposing party.
Public Interest: Argue that granting the injunction is in the public interest, considering the nature of the violations and the impact on society.
Jurisdiction: Ensure that the court has jurisdiction over the parties and the subject matter of the lawsuit before seeking injunctive relief.
It is advisable to consult with an attorney specializing in civil rights and injunction matters to assess your specific situation and determine the best course of action to seek emergency injunctive relief.
Emergency injunctive relief for my family because we are victims of civil rights violations, identity theft, retaliatory eviction and being robbed and unable to leave the mercy house shelter in orange county California.
Based on the legal excerpts provided in the Casemine knowledge base, it seems that you may have a valid basis for seeking emergency injunctive relief in your situation. Here are some relevant Opinions from the document that can be applied in formulating an answer to your legal question:
Community House, Inc. v. City of Boise (UNITED STATES COURT OF APPEALS FOR THE NINTH CIRCUIT, 2006):
Reasoning:
Given the legal principles discussed in the Opinions mentioned above, you may have a valid basis for seeking emergency injunctive relief to address the civil rights violations, identity theft, retaliatory eviction, and restrictions on leaving the shelter that you and your family are facing. By demonstrating the irreparable harm and real threat of future injury in your situation, you can potentially meet the requirements for obtaining emergency relief through a preliminary injunction. It is advisable to consult with a legal professional to assess the specifics of your case and determine the best course of action.
submitted by ironmandavinci to legal [link] [comments]
I am in Orange county California and my family and I need emergency relief. We were victims of a retaliatory eviction in Aug of 2021 after I complained to the authorities and housing is key about being harassed by my landlord for being enrolled in the covid rental relief program and paying only 25% of the rent until my lease was up. In the same month as the retaliatory eviction, Aug 2021, I was also the victim of identity theft from the 2021 TMobile data breach. The following month of Sept 2021, the data breach gave criminals the ability to abuse my digital accounts which caused the closure of my bank accounts, and led to my vehicles, remaining assets and my business to be unmanageable and taken from me in various ways. My disabled mom and my son lived with me. My son has been with his mom fulltime since Aug 2021 and my disabled mom and I have been homeless since Aug 2021. I have not been able to recover since my family and I were attacked. Now I am stuck in a mercy house shelter that does not allow me to leave which prohibits me from being able to recover. The security at mercy house also stole a vehicle that was donated to me. My disabled mom and I have been homeless for three years. I have been in the mercy house shelter and not able to leave for two years. My disabled mother has suffered multiple life threatening injuries since we were attacked, including being vulnerable to attack from having an asthma attack and beat almost to death by a predator And being on life support and hospitalized for over a month. I have also suffered multiple life threatening injuries including four fractured ribs and skin infections from sleeping outside in the rain. My sons mother, Sylvia, At a moments notice when I was attacked, disenfranchised and no longer able to share custody of our son due to the threat of him being in danger by unknown assailants and no home for him to reside with me, Sylvia was able to immediately care for our son fulltime with no help from me, while managing her career and a new fiance since the attacks began in Aug 2021. My son is suffering psychologically considering I have worked from home since he was born and was never separated from him until the attacks when he was 9 years old. He is the only witness to the full extent of the attacks and I do not want him anymore involved or to be interrogated. He witnessed the harassment of the landlord, and having his father and everything we built together taken. The acts of everyone involved went against everything I have ever taught him was possible and he had to witness me get shut down trying to get us help over and over and over. I clearly had no idea this was possible either or I would have been prepared for it and would have known to get my son away from myself and the entire event much sooner. I have also been arrested several times due to my id theft and never had a record or any legal issues until this attack happened.
Based on the legal information provided, if you are a victim in Orange County, California, in need of emergency relief, you may be eligible to seek an ex parte order, which is a temporary restraining order that can be issued without notice, if an affidavit shows reasonable proof of past acts of abuse. Additionally, the court may issue orders enjoining a party from various behaviors, such as molesting, attacking, striking, stalking, threatening, or harassing the victim or other named family or household members.
It is important to act promptly and seek the necessary legal assistance to ensure your safety and protection under the law.
Reasoning:.
People v. Clayburg (Court of Appeal, Second District, Division 6, California., 2012): Discusses the issuance of restraining orders under Family Code sections for the protection of victims and family members.
Grega v. Vroman (United States District Court, W.D. Pennsylvania, Erie Division, 2024): Provides insights into the legal sufficiency of a complaint and the standards applied in evaluating claims.
- United States v. Edwards (United States District Court, W.D. Pennsylvania, 2024): Discusses the government's obligations in a criminal case and the limitations on a defendant's right to discover the government's evidence.
Based on the legal information provided in Casemine knowledge base, you may have potential legal recourse in your situation. Here are some relevant Judgments from the document that can assist in formulating an answer to your current legal question:
Nativi v. Deutsche Bank Nat'l Trust Co. (Court of Appeal, Sixth District, California., 2014):
- A tenant wrongfully evicted by their landlord may maintain a wrongful eviction action for damages.
- Addresses the challenges faced by the homeless population, especially those with mental illnesses, and the inadequacy of available services and housing.
- Discusses the REAP program in Los Angeles, aimed at improving housing conditions and holding landlords accountable.
- Involves a case where the landlord refused to participate in the Section 8 program, impacting the tenant's ability to afford rent.
- Addresses the obligation of counties to provide general relief to indigent residents.
For your specific circumstances, it is advisable to consult with a local attorney specializing in landlord-tenant law or housing rights in Orange County, California. They can provide personalized legal advice and guidance tailored to your situation, including potential remedies and assistance available to you.
If you require further assistance or clarification, please feel free to ask.
Emergency injunctive relief for victims of civil rights violations and identity theft
Based on the legal information provided in the Casemine knowledge base, the Opinions that are relevant to formulating an answer to your current legal question are as follows:
SOSTRE v. ROCKEFELLER, (S.D.N.Y. 1970): This Opinion discusses the issuance of injunctive relief against state officials for violating Fourteenth Amendment rights and emphasizes that injunctive relief must be granted when a violation of constitutional rights has been proved.
CALIFORNIA CORRECTIONAL PEACE OFFICERS v. STATE (Court of Appeal of California, First District, Division Two., 2000): This Opinion discusses the criteria for granting injunctive relief against criminal investigations, highlighting the need for extraordinary circumstances and irreparable harm.
ADRIAN v. WESTAR ENERGY (United States District Court, D. Kansas, 2011): This Opinion outlines the factors required to grant injunctive relief, including showing irreparable injury, balancing of harms, public interest, and likelihood of success on the merits.
Seth v. McDonough (UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE DISTRICT OF MARYLAND, 2020): This Opinion emphasizes that emergency injunctive relief is an extraordinary remedy, requiring a clear showing that the plaintiff is entitled to relief.
ADAIR v. ENGLAND, (D.D.C. 2002): This Opinion discusses the legal standards and jurisdiction required to entertain a motion for injunctive relief, emphasizing the need for a filed complaint and related issues.
Based on the legal principles discussed in these Opinions, it is important to establish the following to seek emergency injunctive relief for victims of civil rights violations and identity theft:
Likelihood of Success on the Merits: You need to demonstrate a clear showing that your civil rights have been violated and that you are entitled to relief under the law.
Irreparable Harm: Show that you will suffer irreparable harm if injunctive relief is not granted, such as ongoing violations of your rights or continued harm to you or your family.
Balance of Harms: Illustrate that the harm you are facing outweighs any potential harm that granting the injunction may cause to the opposing party.
Public Interest: Argue that granting the injunction is in the public interest, considering the nature of the violations and the impact on society.
Jurisdiction: Ensure that the court has jurisdiction over the parties and the subject matter of the lawsuit before seeking injunctive relief.
It is advisable to consult with an attorney specializing in civil rights and injunction matters to assess your specific situation and determine the best course of action to seek emergency injunctive relief.
Emergency injunctive relief for my family because we are victims of civil rights violations, identity theft, retaliatory eviction and being robbed and unable to leave the mercy house shelter in orange county California.
Based on the legal excerpts provided in the Casemine knowledge base, it seems that you may have a valid basis for seeking emergency injunctive relief in your situation. Here are some relevant Opinions from the document that can be applied in formulating an answer to your legal question:
Community House, Inc. v. City of Boise (UNITED STATES COURT OF APPEALS FOR THE NINTH CIRCUIT, 2006):
- Discusses the requirements for obtaining a preliminary injunction, including the likelihood of success on the merits and the possibility of irreparable injury.
- Addresses the threat of eviction and the realistic prospect of homelessness as constituting irreparable harm, satisfying the requirements for a preliminary injunction.
- Discusses the requirement for a plaintiff to demonstrate a real and immediate threat of future injury in a suit for prospective injunctive relief.
- Provides an example where preliminary injunctive relief was granted based on a likelihood of success on the merits and a showing of irreparable harm.
Reasoning:
Given the legal principles discussed in the Opinions mentioned above, you may have a valid basis for seeking emergency injunctive relief to address the civil rights violations, identity theft, retaliatory eviction, and restrictions on leaving the shelter that you and your family are facing. By demonstrating the irreparable harm and real threat of future injury in your situation, you can potentially meet the requirements for obtaining emergency relief through a preliminary injunction. It is advisable to consult with a legal professional to assess the specifics of your case and determine the best course of action.
2024.05.15 09:56 InsaneComicBooker Wizards...Nine? A proposal
UNMARKED SPOILERS BELOW, I will sadly go into spoiler territorry so often the post would look like a bad SCP Foundation article if I tried to black out every single one.
First thing I thought upon finding out about the Wizard Three in Sigil was to notice an opportunitty to include more iconic characters. As we learned more about their role I noticed several complaints about them. Like, "why are we having epic level NPCs relegating the work to mid-level party"? Or "isn't Tasha evil? What is she doing here?" Or "how the hell did Kas fool Tasha, who knows Mordekainen very well?". And so an idea to fix these issues all at once presented itself to me.
In this version of adventure, the PCs are summonned not by Wizard Three, but Wizard Nine. Nine iconic, high-level wizards or other magic users from across D&D worlds or even beyond. They were all summonned to Sigil, to each tap into one of Outer Planes of appriopriate aligment and channel that power into Wish, so the Will of the entire multiverse wishes of Vecna's death. You could even call it something like "Wish of All", make it some greatest magic avialable, maybe something you can only cast from Sigil. Once it fails, the wizards realize it means one of them must not be who they claim, but an imposter misaligned with their designated plane, possibly an agent of Vecna. So they immediatelly lock themselves in Sanctuary - only PCs can enter and leave because they weren't in the room during the casting. And every time they return with next piece of the Rod, they find Wizards in most disfunctional game of Among Us ever, often probably erupting into violence - this is nine geniuses working AGAINST each other as everyone suspects everyone. Obviously all these people are warded against all common means of discovering an impostor - Zone of Truth, mind-reading, etc - because you don't get to be this powerful of a Wizard without guarding all your secrets safer than national treasures.
Now, you could keep the original reveal, where Mordekainen is the imposter. If you do, I would advocate against bringing any magic users who know him, like Tasha, Elminster, Storm Silverhand or Dalamar the Dark. If you decide to change the imposter's identity, you can happily bring in some of them, but I would avoid those who know each other (so if you want Elminster, then no Mordekainen or Dalamar).
Evil characters can work with this group because of several reasons, which they should be open about. They may vary from "You think I don't realize Vecna is going to screw ME over alongside everyone else", through "uppity gods need to be put in their place, especially this one" to "I would love what the guy is promising to do to all creation, but I'm not bending my knee to NOBODY!".
Below is a list of proposed characters to use from as many worlds I could think of. I will be comign back to this post to add more names and more worlds with further research, potentially going even beyond strictly D&D settings. You ca drop your own suggestions, I will happily add them to the list with next edit. All requirements are that the character is able to cast 9th level spells, if you have any notes for potential DM willing to use them, please provide them as well.
Eberron - I noticed most of suggestions for Eberron are of evil variety, due to the setting's lack of high-level heroic NPCs (with two exceptions that cannot leave their seats of power), but we'll work with what we have
submitted by InsaneComicBooker to VecnaEveofRuin [link] [comments]
First thing I thought upon finding out about the Wizard Three in Sigil was to notice an opportunitty to include more iconic characters. As we learned more about their role I noticed several complaints about them. Like, "why are we having epic level NPCs relegating the work to mid-level party"? Or "isn't Tasha evil? What is she doing here?" Or "how the hell did Kas fool Tasha, who knows Mordekainen very well?". And so an idea to fix these issues all at once presented itself to me.
In this version of adventure, the PCs are summonned not by Wizard Three, but Wizard Nine. Nine iconic, high-level wizards or other magic users from across D&D worlds or even beyond. They were all summonned to Sigil, to each tap into one of Outer Planes of appriopriate aligment and channel that power into Wish, so the Will of the entire multiverse wishes of Vecna's death. You could even call it something like "Wish of All", make it some greatest magic avialable, maybe something you can only cast from Sigil. Once it fails, the wizards realize it means one of them must not be who they claim, but an imposter misaligned with their designated plane, possibly an agent of Vecna. So they immediatelly lock themselves in Sanctuary - only PCs can enter and leave because they weren't in the room during the casting. And every time they return with next piece of the Rod, they find Wizards in most disfunctional game of Among Us ever, often probably erupting into violence - this is nine geniuses working AGAINST each other as everyone suspects everyone. Obviously all these people are warded against all common means of discovering an impostor - Zone of Truth, mind-reading, etc - because you don't get to be this powerful of a Wizard without guarding all your secrets safer than national treasures.
Now, you could keep the original reveal, where Mordekainen is the imposter. If you do, I would advocate against bringing any magic users who know him, like Tasha, Elminster, Storm Silverhand or Dalamar the Dark. If you decide to change the imposter's identity, you can happily bring in some of them, but I would avoid those who know each other (so if you want Elminster, then no Mordekainen or Dalamar).
Evil characters can work with this group because of several reasons, which they should be open about. They may vary from "You think I don't realize Vecna is going to screw ME over alongside everyone else", through "uppity gods need to be put in their place, especially this one" to "I would love what the guy is promising to do to all creation, but I'm not bending my knee to NOBODY!".
Below is a list of proposed characters to use from as many worlds I could think of. I will be comign back to this post to add more names and more worlds with further research, potentially going even beyond strictly D&D settings. You ca drop your own suggestions, I will happily add them to the list with next edit. All requirements are that the character is able to cast 9th level spells, if you have any notes for potential DM willing to use them, please provide them as well.
Eberron - I noticed most of suggestions for Eberron are of evil variety, due to the setting's lack of high-level heroic NPCs (with two exceptions that cannot leave their seats of power), but we'll work with what we have
- Mordain the Fleshweaver is the most popular suggestion, being a rare Chaotic Evil 18th level Wizard in Eberron. An issue is that Mordain is often used, and even recommended by Keith Baker to be used as Eberron's stand-in for Vecna. If you wanna run adventures with Hand or Eye of Vecna in Eberron, they are hand and Eye of Mordain. This may disqualify him, but you could alternatively play into it. Have Mordain rant Vecna is "ripping him off" or call the lich "a pale immitation of true dark sorcery".
- Hektula is Keith Baker's personal choice for a standin for Tasha. She is a pwoerful Rakshasa Archmage, with passion for collecting forbidden tomes of dark magic, serving one of the Overlords and firmly Lawful Evil. I certainly could see some laughs when wizards realize there's an impostor among them and all eyes turn towards Hektula, who goes "Of course, blame the shapeshifter!".
- I have seen floated idea for Sora Kell or her three daughters. The Daughters canonically in 3rd edition had levels 10 or 11 on top of being half-fiend Hags. You could maybe handwave that they get to cast 9th level spells as a coven, Sora Kell is more ambigious, with no statblock and her lore giving vibes of Baba Yaga, fans compare her to Demon Lords in power level. Personally I feel she would stand out too much.
- the Mighty Nein Reunion got us level 20 versions of Caleb Widogast, so he's great excuse for a DM to do their best Liam O'Brian impression of angsty bi diseaster wizard who really wishes he was back with his boyfriend, instead of being trapped here with all those asshole wizards.
- Not a wizard but a Bard, but if you want to bend a defintion a bit, Scanlan Shorthalt could be pulled out from a moment in time before he lost an ability to cast Wish. Considering this happens in final episode of Campaign 1 and their final enemy was Vecna, it would be thematically appriopriate.
- Raistlin Majere is by FAR msot iconic character of the entire Dragonlance, the go to if you want to include an iconic Dragonlance character. Dragonlance Saga 15 anniversarry lists his aligment as Neutral, while 3rd edition book Legends of the Twins lits him as a Neutral Evil - the latter is after he becomes master of Time and Present and so powerful enough to be included.
- Dalamar the Dark - after Raistlin's demise, Dalamar was touted as new most powerful wizard, he was paired with Mordekainen and Elminster to form original Wizard Three. He is also listed as Neutral Evil, but I would argue he could be Lawful Evil.
- Fistandantilus - the greatest wizard before Raistlin, he is also Neutral Evil, but I woudl argue he's more CHaotic Evil, due to his tendency to backstab other wizards to steal their power. I honestly cannot see this guy working in this adventure, he seems like he would try to bodyjack someone and get 8 Desintegrates to the face.
- Phalin Majere - if you want a good-aligned representative of Krynn, Raistlin's nephew, Phalin is basically a magical prodigy and chosen one and firmly Lawful Good. The issue may be that it may be hard to find a time where he is powerful enough to be here, but before Wizard magic on Krynn went away (because all Gods, including Gods of magic, f*ed off to space and then had the whole planet stolen from under their noses) and he had to reclass to Sorcerer, starting all the way from the bottom.
- u/doppelganger3301 suggested Fizban, who could certainly be fun, but there is one problem - Fizban is a god Paladine in disguise. The moment he shows up in Sigil, Lady of Pain will start throwing hands. You could potentially use Paladine from end of War of Souls Trilogy, when he gave up his divinity, but I do not know enough about that Paladine to be able to tell if he can still assume form of Fizban or has access to high level magic anymore.
- My first pick would be Liliana Vess, originally from Dominaria, nowadays hanging out on Arcavios, home world of Strixheaven. Strixheaven book lists her as true neutral, and she has a history full of twists and turns where this character development from original evil could be justified. Personality-wise she could be the easiest quick replacement for Tasha, even if you don't feel like putting in the whole group of nine wizards. Also if you have player bringign back a Curricullum of Chaos PC for this game I can only imagine their jaw drop upon seeing "Professor Vess" among greatest wizards in the Multiverse, snarking at all of them.
- Teferi Akosa, originally from Dominaria, now his homeland of Zalfir became a separate plane. He was always extremely powerful, what if accidentially phasing his whole country out of time and space, he was always heroic and good intended, but often prone of getting unwaranted suspictions from others, which makes him good for this kind of plot.
- From Ravnica we could pull either Jace Beleren or the dragon-mage Niv-Mizzet, during their respective time as the Living Guildpact, representative of all 10 Guilds of Ravnica. In this position their could fit well for neutral-aligned places of aligment chart, Jace leaning towards Neutral Good or Lawful Neutral somewhat more.
- Speaking of Dragons, here is a crazy idea - Nicol Bolas, one of greatest villains in Magic as Chaotic Evil representative. Okay, it may be not a good idea, I cannot imagine a situation where he doesn't try to hijack the plot and take Vecna's place or just kill everyone when the problem of potential traitor arises. Still, the idea of this really evil demigod-drgon being his petty, snarky self towards other iconic characters is kinda funny.
- For a reach more into Magic's past, we have Urza, original protagonist. He would fit well into Lawful Neutral or even Lawful Evil role, considering last time he dedicated himself to stop multiversal-level threat, original Phyrexia, his means quickly "begun resembling Phyrexian ends". This is the guy who honestly tried to outeugenics a wizard nazi "for greater good". Seriously, so much of Magic lore can be summed up with words "Local Man Ruins Everything" and picture of Urza.
- A different type of Magic candidate is Jodah, ultrapowerful Archmage who is not a planeswalker like others, but had often maneuver around them, so he is used to having to outsmart powerful people. He represents all colors of mana so he would fit for any of middle collum positions.
- Jodah old associate, Jaya Ballard, could also work very well, considering she did eventually ecame so powerful some planes confused her with a diety and established religions to her. She strikes me as a Neutral Good candidate.
- Prince Haldemar of Haaken - protagonist of series of short stories "Voyage of Princess Ark". Daring explorer, captain of flying ship Princess Ark, hero of Empire of Alphatia. Champions of Mystara describes him as good and heroic but having "typical Alphatian chaotic thendencies". As such I'd lean towards Chaotic Good or Neutral Good.
- Bargle the Infamous - Chaotic Evil, if D&D ever had something close to the Joker, it was Bargle. Bargle was originally an evil wizard who kills mentolove interest of the player in introductory adventure of Red Box, but this made him enemy #1 of whole generations of players and elevated to first iconic evil wizard. I would be wary of using him, as any D&D veteran or grognard may forget about Vecna in favor of trying to strangle the guy with his bare hands.
- Demetrion Karagentreropolus - most powerful Archmage in Empire of Thyatis (think: fantasy Roman Empire), he is of lawful aligment and described as sometiems working secretly to undermine Emperor's decisions that he finds to be bad for the Empire and its people. As such he could slot as Lawful Good.
- Empress Eriadna the Wise of Alphatia - current Empress of Alphatia, canonically of Neutral aligment, she rules msot powerful empire in the world and probably haven't conquered all of it only because her subjects care more for magical research and getting high. She's 80-years old.
- Prince Zandor - 40-years old son of empress Eriadna, described as "chaos personified", his aligment is "Chaotic (very)". Thanks to Mr. Welch it became popular to play him as wizard version of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. Use him if you want a comic relief.
- Master Terari - former Emperor of Alphatia, he abdicated in favor of Eriadna and disappeared, he now runs magic school in a small kingdom of Karameikos, he is working to ascend to Immortality (basically godhood without calling it so).
- Principalities of Glantri have multiple Princes of various all kinds of aligment. The country got 2e book which gave them classic aligment., I will list them below, but two I would avoid are Eitienne d'Amberville and Jaggar von Drachenfels, since they are actually Immortals (Rad, patron of magic and Diamond,, discount Bahamut, respectively). Immortals officially aren't Gods, but this is often a distinction without difference, so I cannot see them showing up in Sigil without Lady of Pain nuking the whole building.
- Princess Carnelia de Belcadiz y Fedorias (Lawful Neutral, extremely beautiful, known for her horrible temper) and Princess Carlotina Erewan ((LG, basically discount Galadriel) rule two Elven principalities, the latter rules more traditional Elves, the former's subjects are...Spanish Elves. Yes, really. They do not like each other.
- On the evil side we have Prince Morphail Gorevitch-Woszlany (wizard Nosferatu, which is like Vampire with less weaknesses, he's Strahd on steroids), Princess Dolores Hilsbury (actually a Night Dragon, undead dragon-shaped mosnter, in disguise) and Prince Brannart McGregor (lich, he's actually from real-world Scotland, I kid you not). All three are Chaotic Evil and hide their true nature, though considering Morphail looks like he walked out of set of Dracula, they aren't trying very hard.
- Rounding Glantri princes we have Prince Jherek Virayana (Neutral, master of illusions, he deflected to Glantri from their mortal enemies, Ethengar Khanates, so he is used to being under suspiction for treachery) and Prince Harald Haaskinz (LG, he's kinda new guy in the club).
- I don't want to spend much time on Oerth since I suspect anyone using this will use either Mordekainen and/or Tasha, who are already in the module. But some alternatives could be any of wizards who have spells named after them - Bigby is neutral, Tenser is Lawful Good, Leomund is Lawful Neutral or Lawful Good, Nystrul is Neutral, Rary is Neutral Evil
- Alustriel was already included. She and her five sisters (not counting Dove Silverhand, who is a Ranger and a Ghost) all fit similair role as "big good immortal sorcerress". With exception of Alassra Silverhand a.k.a. Simbul the Witch-Queen, who is Chaotic Neutral, they're all Chaotic Good, so I see little point switching Alustriel for another one if you want CG spot to be fit by someone from Toril. I would also be wary of using Storm Silverhand, who, according to Ed Greenwood, helped real Mordekainen recover after his role in Curse of Strahd and has a "friends with benefits" relationship with him.
- Elminster is also Chaotic Good, I don't get why WotC shy away from using him. I get he is controversial, but his exclusion has been kinda awkward here. They really don't think Kas can fool Elminster, but he can fool Tasha? As far as I know only one of them slept with Mordekainen, like come on! Anyway, if you want to use him, Elmisnter is also Chaotic Good, so kinda redundant with other Choosen of Mystra.
- Larloch the Shadow-King or Szass Tam could each work as a powerful lawful evil lich, that allies with the good guys out of spite against interloper god that dared throw their weight around and claim godhood over THEIR world. Larloch in particular is no stranger of going against gods and their servants, who seek to rewrite rules of magic that is basic of his power - just ask Shar and her servants at Shade Enclave.
- While characters from Baldur's Gate 3 end their adventure around 13th level, Book Minsc & Boo's Journal of Villain contains statblocks of multiple characters from previous two games. Edwin Odesserion, infamous Red Wizard of Thay, is among them, powerful enough to fit in the group.
- u/DolanWolfsbane made an excellent suggestion to use Halaster Blackcloak, the chaotic evil mad mage of the Undermountain, who could be motivated to stop Vecna, because if Vecna wins, Halaster lsoes all his toys to play with.
- from Forgotten Realms, we could reach for semi-official suppliment minsc and Boo's Journal of Villainy, written by lead writer of first two Baldur's Gate games. It suggests an alternate fate for main villains of Baldur's Gate II - Jon Irenicus and his sister Bodhi - that places them in Demiplane of Dread, leading their own evil cult working towards their escape. He is neutral evil, she is Chaotic Evil
- From Mystara we have Meredoth, main antagonist of classic Ravenloft module Ship of Horrors, condemned to Demiplane of Dread afre his negligence caused his subjects to die of starvation. TWICE!. He is cursed to be unable to discover new magic on his own and having to steal knowledge, so he would be itching, as a mole, to steal from other eight wizards in the room. He's Chaotic Evil.
2024.05.15 05:21 OkKaleidoscope4433 A Fair Trade Partner Etiquette Reminder- PLEASE READ
 | Hey All, submitted by OkKaleidoscope4433 to monopolygo_fairtrade [link] [comments] Just a reminder of the partners event etiquette we expect here in Fair Trade. Since there is a suspected partner event soon. This is a refresher for those that have been here a while and clarification for any of our new members. ”Can I Look For A Partner Here?”YES you absolutely can look for a partner here to help you with the event.When the event goes live so will the “Partners 🫱🏼🫲🏾” post flair. Please use this when searching for a partner. ”Urgh My Partner Is The Worst!”We are sorry you feel this way, however we DO NOT tolerate or allow ANY form of partner shaming/Call outs or complaints.ANY posts or comments we see partaking in this behaviour WILL be removed and a strike placed on your profile. Fair Trade is a place of Kindness and lifting eachother up, we will NOT allow this toxic and negative behaviour to take hold here. ”My Partner Hasn’t Added Anything Yet?”Please appreciate Everyone has different styles of play, commitments or body clocks.Just because you’ve added and they haven’t, doesn’t mean they won’t. Some save up tokens and then spin all at once. Some spin as they go. Some people have lives Outside Monopoly Go. BE PATIENT The event lasts DAYS for a reason. There is no bonus to rushing through it or need to have it done ASAP. ”What If I Want To Talk To My Partner About Tactics?”This is absolutely fine to do, on Three conditions
DO NOT bombard or harass them for a response. ”What About Carry Services?“We allow Carry services on ONE very important condition.They MUST be COMPLETELY FREE This means you cannot “Charge” ANYTHING when offering a carry service here. This includes but not limited to:
It is considered a Gift ANY post/comment appearing to break this WILL be removed and actions taken. Please take note we DO NOT take responsibility for you accepting a carry service that isn’t fulfilled. So please accept at your OWN risk. Good Luck!That’s about it, I appreciate this is long but it’s VERY much worth your time familiarising yourself with what we expect here.So Good luck if or when the event arrives. But if not keep this in mind for the next time. If you have Any questions whatsoever, please drop them in the comments and we will strive to answer them all! Till the next time,👋🏼 🥝 |
2024.05.15 04:11 Davess_World2019 Accused of Sexual Misconduct, what to do?
On another Korean subreddit:
My clairvoyant comment 4 years ago:
🚩 Red flag #4, ridiculous reasons and excuses, -no evidence.
is by-the-numbers attempt to continue to harass, but the director doesn't know what to do after a lawyer was called. So first it was a "major" problem of exposing himself to a student, then when a lawyer contacts the school, that was an even bigger error by the employee. Wow, no one can ever do anything right in that place.
Yeah, "don't worry" I talked to the police about your felony charge, fine, deportation, and de-escalated the situation for you. You're welcome!
Why cooperate? Come down from 2nd floor, walk around, enter the classroom, say hi to everyone when they show and leave.
Why would the other 4 foreigners cooperate? This is a serious accusation, they should all refuse work until the director is made to apologize and reinstate the teacher.
They are apparently bleeding student numbers, are in way over their heads, barely a year old, are over-staffed now, and need to shed labor costs. A foreigner strike would be the nail in the coffin. They would have to reverse themselves, or face foreclosure in about a week after parents yank their kids not having a NET teaching them. A Hagwon blackbelt, seeing his opponent down on one knee would totally punk them in the face with a Mortal Combat upper-cut finishing move. You threaten me with a felony, ruin my life, no mercy for you.
A golden opportunity to bring them into bankruptcy will undoubtedly be totally wasted. It's like the entire defense fell down, and the person with the ball is not sure whether they should go for a lay-up or not.....ridiculous.
submitted by Davess_World2019 to HagwonBlacklistKorea [link] [comments]
- Parent Accusing Me of Sexual Misconduct
- School is asking me to hide from the parents and come to work in private
My clairvoyant comment 4 years ago:
If they need to get you out in a hurry, expect the scare tactic, "You molested a kid! Quick! Run to the airport and leave us all your money before we call the police!" -Hmmm, funny the PARENTS didn't call the police instead of the money-grubbing Hagwon owner.The first 🚩 red flag 🚩 is, most places on earth would not have the staff contact you about a serious misdeed. The first time you heard about it would be a knock on your door from the police, and be told not to return to work until the situation has been resolved. This is because you are a flight risk and informing you of a crime would be the stupidest thing they could do. A Hagwonite mulling over whether to have the police involved is a clear sign it's made up. If an accusation is serious enough to be made by anyone, then there would be an official complaint made to the authorities. They would quickly take it from there, no one would tip you off the wheels were in motion.
Also, I was told to move out of my apartment to make way for a new teacher, I am constantly being micromanaged, surveilled, and pulled into arguments, and now I'm receiving messages that a parent is accusing me of sexual misconduct.🚩 Red flag #2 is that the relationship has been increasingly threatening, abusive, hostile etc. The foreigner hasn't taken the hint that they are not wanted and should pack up and head out, Midnight Run it. The Achilles heel of Hagwonites is to push the shame on to the target. They QUIT, couldn't handle it, were failures, left us high & dry without notice, broke the contract, have to stack classes on the other teachers, everyone is a victim because of their selfish actions! They don't want to fire people except as a last resort due to labor laws and avoid looking like they abused a person that didn't do anything wrong. Why expend so much energy, stress, shouting, screaming, threatening, stalking, getting into daily pissing matches with an employee when firing them (especially easy while they are on probation) can be done with a Thanos finger snap? Like I said, they do everything they can to harass someone out the door, rather than fire them. Read on and see the continued histrionics this director will go through instead of doing the simple and obvious. Search bar: Resign, or I will harass you until you do!
First, it was all the arguments, one of which included the director screaming at me and almost crying on the phone at 8 pm while driving because I taught the students to spell "Cabbage" instead of "Lettuce".🚩 #3--Never underestimate the depths a Hagwonite will stoop, to make a mountain out of a molehill. They are not very smart to begin with, so they find the smallest turn-signal violation and exaggerate it into a 1st degree felony. That's happened to me, and I simply responded, "Yeah, so what?" I didn't allow them to drag me in to apologizing, groveling, get into the weeds about literally nothing, or any of that. The argument for the next 10 minutes was whether it was important or not, and if the subject was befitting someone in a management position who should be able to discern things that need attention and things that can be ignored. The intent is to harass and they won't leave until they have exhausted all of their energy and are happy with the victim's response to it. I concluded by saying it was not important and I'm not changing anything. They can teach the class themselves if they think they can go the entire day without making a single error.
🚩 Red flag #4, ridiculous reasons and excuses, -no evidence.
I eventually received a call from the director telling that one of the parents believes that her daughter saw my private area in the bathroom (I am a male teacher and this accusation or anything close to it never occurred)
- Oh yeah? Which parent? What's the student's name, which classroom of mine is she in, what time did this occur, and why would she be in the men's bathroom? Let me see the CCTV footage?
- It's so weak, it's obviously made up. The foreigner would certainly have seen a student of the opposite gender in his bathroom and told them to leave and would not have unzipped anything if that happened.
- What is a student doing entering or peeping into the men's rest room in the first place? That sounds like student misconduct to me. Why isn't the parent being told to correct their child's behavior and none of this would be an issue?
- It's not illegal to pull your junk out in the rest room and try to relieve yourself, that's what it's for, it's not the hallway or classroom.
is by-the-numbers attempt to continue to harass, but the director doesn't know what to do after a lawyer was called. So first it was a "major" problem of exposing himself to a student, then when a lawyer contacts the school, that was an even bigger error by the employee. Wow, no one can ever do anything right in that place.
Fast forward, the attorney contacted the school, the school says no police were coming to talk to me, but instead, the school talked to the police already on my behalf and I will not be talking to police, so I shouldn't worry.--NONE OF THIS HAPPENED! Ask the attorney to call the precinct and ask for a copy of the POLICE REPORT. They have to fill out any interaction with the public so it's not all from memory, even if no action is taken. The next officer that fields a call about it, can pull up the report and get a summary of events, dates, names etc.
Yeah, "don't worry" I talked to the police about your felony charge, fine, deportation, and de-escalated the situation for you. You're welcome!
AND IT JUST GETS STUPIDER
Now, my school is asking me to no longer come to work at 9 am and greet the parents, but instead, come to work 30 minutes earlier, hide from the parents, not teach kindergarten anymore, and sit behind a computer on a different floor, alone, doing random administrative tasks.--A blackbelt would NEVER come in to work 30 minutes earlier without pay, should come a hour later since he's not teaching anyway. He should absolutely make his presence known to the parents and children so that the lies they were told, would visually be false. They are trying to hide the employee until they quit or get fired, or may have already told everyone a lie that he ran off w/o notice, because that's what they were expecting from the false sexual exposure claim.
Why cooperate? Come down from 2nd floor, walk around, enter the classroom, say hi to everyone when they show and leave.
Why would the other 4 foreigners cooperate? This is a serious accusation, they should all refuse work until the director is made to apologize and reinstate the teacher.
They are apparently bleeding student numbers, are in way over their heads, barely a year old, are over-staffed now, and need to shed labor costs. A foreigner strike would be the nail in the coffin. They would have to reverse themselves, or face foreclosure in about a week after parents yank their kids not having a NET teaching them. A Hagwon blackbelt, seeing his opponent down on one knee would totally punk them in the face with a Mortal Combat upper-cut finishing move. You threaten me with a felony, ruin my life, no mercy for you.
A golden opportunity to bring them into bankruptcy will undoubtedly be totally wasted. It's like the entire defense fell down, and the person with the ball is not sure whether they should go for a lay-up or not.....ridiculous.
2024.05.15 03:50 Yambag12345 QUESTION: For all game/graphics developers
Sometimes in return to Moria, a strike (either with a pickaxe on objects or with a weapon on an enemy), a hit doesn't register on a specific spot. Not just one hit, you can find spots on objects where it seems the hit clips through the hitbox of the objectno matter what (looking at you, little rock blocks of random ores).
This issue isn'tspecific to Return to Moria obviously, but it does seem more prevalent in survival games that use these types of voxel, mostly-destructible environments (Satisfactory, 7 Days to Die, etc). Some games are worse about this than others. Return to Moria seems to be one of these types that has a problem with this more.
My question is; What about the coding or creating the assets causes this issue, and why is it better in some games than others? (I'm going to assume the first question answers the 2nd, and it's something related to optimization or tightening of the interaction boxes).
Edit: it isn't so much a complaint as an observation. I've come to expect it in these types of games, and I realized after a while I wasn't even thinking about it anymore. But I'd like to.
submitted by Yambag12345 to LotRReturnToMoria [link] [comments]
This issue isn'tspecific to Return to Moria obviously, but it does seem more prevalent in survival games that use these types of voxel, mostly-destructible environments (Satisfactory, 7 Days to Die, etc). Some games are worse about this than others. Return to Moria seems to be one of these types that has a problem with this more.
My question is; What about the coding or creating the assets causes this issue, and why is it better in some games than others? (I'm going to assume the first question answers the 2nd, and it's something related to optimization or tightening of the interaction boxes).
Edit: it isn't so much a complaint as an observation. I've come to expect it in these types of games, and I realized after a while I wasn't even thinking about it anymore. But I'd like to.
2024.05.14 15:41 AnimationFan_2003 S1 Ep4: Can't Wait to Be Queen Review
Episode Description
Pros
-First off, I like the sibling dynamic in this episode, as somebody with a similarly aged older brother. Kion and Kiara's relationship has resonated with me, the way they have off days and arguments, but, obviously love each other and make it out strong in the end. I, for one, do not hate Kiara in The Lion Guard, and Kion gives her the same attitude she gives him in early episodes. I like watching their relationship go through ups and downs throughout Season 1.
-I know the opening scene, where Kiara and Kion are fighting over a tree to sharpen their claws is quite intense, because they would've probably gotten into a scuffle if Simba hadn't showed up when he did, but, that is siblings for you sometimes. I feel like anyone who's got siblings of your own can relate, at least a little bit, to that scene.
-I like the plotline of Kiara and Kion's sibling rivalry stemming from their roles in leadership. Kiara is clearly a reflection of her father, when he was a cub, which is interesting and so, she thinks that being the Future Queen is really swell and makes her the alpha, and Kion (who is no better than her) thinks that being Leader of the Lion Guard makes him more important than her. I like this mechanic in this episode. It makes me want to know if Scar felt the same way about Mufasa. I mean, Kion was obviously not resentful of Kiara, unlike Scar, but I wonder if a similar thing happened with the two brothers except, in this case, it drove Scar to insanity and wanting to murder Mufasa.
-Now let's talk about Kiara being left in charge of the Pride Lands (I mean, I do think the main conflict of the episode was Simba's fault, but we'll get to that later). So, I like the fact that Kiara is nervous about ruling the Pride Lands, even for a brief period of time. I like this because for one thing, she's still only a cub at this time, so, she's entitled to be nervous and anxious about being responsible for an entire kingdom. There's a lot of responsibility being placed on her at such a young age, but, she still remained likable, in my opinion. I do like how, in The Lion Guard, she takes her responsibility as Future Queen very seriously. I know this is unpopular to say, but, I headcanon that, as she's grown up into an older cub, she's realised that being queen won't prevent her from being herself, a concern she had at the beginning of TLK 2.
-I do empathise with Kiara, and Kion, because they are both being put into a huge responsibility of looking after the entire kingdom on their own, while all the adults are away from Pride Rock. This is still really early on in Season 1, so Kion is inexperienced as Leader of the Lion Guard, and Kiara only just started her training with Simba, in the pilot episode. I do feel bad at the fact that they have to figure everything without their parents around and I respect them for managing to work out their differences by the end of the episode.
-I really feel bad for Kiara because she gets a lot of crap from people in the TLG community, moreso than Kion does. I feel really sorry for her because people say they hate her for her attitude and that they think she's a self-righteous bitch at the start of the series, but, I don't. Even as a kid, I knew that a lot of Kiara's behaviour in this episode was down to the stress of being left in charge of whole kingdom for a few days without her parents around, while still being a cub at this point. I do really like her and it really upsets when I see people hating on her. I don't think Kiara really means to be controlling in this episode, she's just trying to do right by her father while he's gone.
-I like the fact that Kiara is really hesitant and nervous to have a huge weight on her shoulders, a role she was previously really excited to fulfil in the pilot episode. When Simba asks this of her, she's understanding feeling a lot of pressure to make him proud. I like the fact that Simba admits to her that he was also nervous about becoming king the first time. I like this because we only saw the side of him that was cocky, overconfident and optimistic about becoming king. I like the fact that she was nervous and that he decides to be upfront about it.
-Kiara still remained a likable character to me throughout this episode. I like how she starts out as nervous and how her confidence is slowly building up nicely during the episode. But, she never came off as mean-spirited, to me. Also, it becomes clear that the reason her responsibility goes to her head is because of Tiifu and Zuri's influence on her and the Lion Guard's inexperience and, in this case, plot-convenient incompetence.
-Beshte, "I'm sure she'll be a nice queen." Well, I'm glad at least one of you believes in her. I can't tell you guys how much I love Beshte, always the sweetest soul out of the group.
-Ono, "Thank you for the opportunity, my queen. And you.... err..... my Kion." That line was funnier than it had any right to be.
-Speaking of which, I thought seeing Ono in Zazu's position, temporarily for Kiara was interesting and I think was a great use of his character, outside of being a Member of the Lion Guard. I personally would've been down for more scenes like this. I think a cool send off for Ono would've been to have him be the Royal Advisor to Queen Kiara and King Kovu, in the future. I wish Ono had stayed in the Pride Lands in the series finale and had become Zazu's apprentice or something.
-Bunga, "Your majesty." {bows at Kiara}. Kiara, "Bunga, that's really not necessary." I found that whole interaction surprisingly funny. Also, strong feeling that Bunga has a huge crush on his best friend's sister at this point, and Kiara views him as her friend, nothing more.
-Kiara's plan about the Bees and the Eelands fiasco was actually very smart, and even when I saw this as a kid, I knew that she had a better idea than Kion. Her idea about moving the eelands away from bees' nests is smarter because bees obviously sting when angered. So, Kion was too proud to admit Kiara had the better idea.
-One of the funniest parts of the whole episode for me was Kion saying, "I say we move the bees". Then, the scene cuts to Kion, Beshte, Fuli and Ono running away from a swarm of bees, in terror. I obviously don't want them hurt, but, I just had to laugh because it was so predictable.
-Bunga, "What are you guys running for? Bees taste even better when they're mad!" Accurate behaviour from a honey badger. They can raid beehives without being stung due to their very thick hide and their stink sap.
-When the Lion Guard arrived back at Pride Rock covered in bee stings, if I were Kiara, I'd be laughing in Kion's face at that moment, like "Ha, ha, you were wrong. Only an idiot would decide to move a swarm of bees to a new place." But, in fairness, Kiara was right to be mad at him, in that moment, for his little screw up.
-"It wasn't a total disaster," Kion, while talking to Kiara. Kiara, looks at Fuli and Ono scratching themselves, "Really? It looks pretty total to me." I mean, she does have a point there. In this situation, Kion had everything to gain from taking her advice.
-"Admit it. I was right about the bees and you were wrong." Kion, just admit it and save yourself the embarrassment. Kiara was not being rude to him whatsoever. She was speaking nothing but facts.
-When Kiara talks to Mzingo at Pride Rock, I like the fact that the latter is clearly higher up in the frame because he's the one dominating the conversation and is also the one who manipulates Kiara. I think it's a nice touch where he creepily approaches and blackmails her.
-*laughs "Janja wants peace?" I like the fact that Kiara is clearly sceptical and she's obviously suspicious of Janja's true intentions. I like this because it doesn't make Kiara out to be seriously wayyy too gullible and silly. The fact that was she was suspicious feels more in-line with TLK 2 and makes her decision to believe Janja, partially Kion's fault. Manipulation is also a very powerful tool, especially to done on a semi-young child, like Kiara.
-I like the fact that Mufasa appears to Kion, unprompted in this episode, for the first time in the series. I love this because it feels like Mufasa saw the argument that had just gone down and was like, "Right I need to put an end to this sibling drama before it gets out of hand. I need to make Kion see the error of his ways."
-I actually love the fact that Kiara is, at least partially willing, to give Outlanders a chance for peace. It feels like a nice bit of foreshadowing for her character arc in TLK 2, where she was able to give the Outsider lions a chance to fit in.
-Kion angrily to Tiifu and Zuri, "Ugh! Some advisors you two are!" That was more hilarious than it had any right to be. Because, let's be honest, they were pretty obnoxious in this episode.
-"Get away from the Queen!!!!" I actually love the moment where Kion comes bursting in like a superhero, to his sister's aid. I also love the fact that he calls Kiara his queen, at this point, because he clearly listened to Mufasa's advice, and also because he had felt somewhat responsible for her almost being killed by Janja.
-"Oh we can fight all right!!!" So badass. I personally would've loved to see Kiara fight alongside the Lion Guard. I think it would've been cool to see her help to fight off Janja's clan. I wanted to see what she could do.
-"Six on six..... Forget it!!!!" Yeah, you better run, Janja, you don't stand a chance against all six of these heroic friends. And one of them is a bloody hippo.
-I love Kion and Kiara's closeness at the end of the episode where they make up for their uncivil, squabbling at the start. Kion finally rightfully admits that he should've taken Kiara's advice about the bees and the elands, and Kiara admits that Kion was right about Janja being nothing but trouble.
-Kion, "And I should've listened to you about the bees." Ono, "Oh, sure {rolls his eyes}. Now he admits it." Oh, Ono, you knew all along, but, we love you.
-Kiara and Kion when Simba and Nala arrive home, are really sweet. I love the fact that Kiara wants to be honest about what happened, "Ruling the Pride Lands? It went..." I absolutely love the moment where Kion decides to cover for her and admits that she'll be a great queen, this is an incredibly sweet brother and sister moment. That moment feels like a precursor to the episode "Baboons" and even later "The Trail to Udugu."
-I love the moral of this episode about "being supportive of your loved ones efforts to help, especially when they are wrong," because it applies to both Kiara and Kion in two different situations. Kion was obviously wrong to go against Kiara's advice to move the elands, but, Kiara learned that she should've been more sensitive about that whole situation. But, Kion also learned that if hadn't been so dismissive of her acting queen for a few days and given her his utmost support when she was clearly nervous about ruling the Pride Lands. If Kion and Kiara been more sensitive to each other, then, they would've been able to be in charge of the Pride Lands together instead of arguing. Also, this episode shares another moral, "Communication is key to understanding each other and a successful team." Kiara learns this after Kion saves her and she realises she was wrong about Janja, and Kion learns this when the Lion Guard get stung by bees, and even later when he realises that he was partly to blame for Kiara going into the Outlands, and that if he had been upfront with her instead of outright yelling at her and running out on her, she wouldn't have needed to be rescued. These are two important lessons for kids going through school together, or with siblings and friends.
-Also, Janja is genuinely dangerous and scary in this episode. He traps Kiara in the Outlands to use her as a bargaining chip for Simba or else he and his would eat her. They would've gotten away with it if Kion didn't jump in at the last second. Janja threatened the freaking princess of the Pride Lands! Reason number #50 why he should never be allowed enter the Pride Lands, no matter if he is starving or not, because he clearly cannot be trusted to follow the rules.
-And now I'm finally going to talk about the B-plot of the episode. It wasn't as good the A-plot, in my opinion. I did love the worldbuilding aspect of this episode where we learn that different animals in the Pride Lands have their own customs and traditions that need to be respected. I like the idea of Simba upholding a tradition and it was interesting that he was never trained for it because obviously Mufasa died before he could complete his training.
-I like the idea of Simba, Nala and Zazu going to an elephant funeral. Elephants actually have "funerals" in real life. In real life, if a member of their herd dies, the elephants will crowd around them ceremoniously to pay tribute and they'll collect twigs and branches to cover the fallen elephant to pay tribute, out of respect for them. I love the way its portrayed as a ceremonial funeral in The Lion Guard and that Simba is upholding a tradition. I love the way he has to say it in Elephantese because the idea of the elephants' having a language barrier is a cool worldbuilding element.
-Aminifu is a cool worldbuilding character too who, we're told, played a big part in the Pride Lands' revival and bringing the circle of life into balance. I like to headcanon we was a childhood friend of Mufasa and Scar, and the rest of the Royal Family, and how he go on to be a good friend to Simba, Nala and the rest of Simba's pride. I like to think Aminifu was responsible for all the animals in the kingdom, similar to the Lion Guard, and how his daughter fills that role in Season 2.
-The Elephant Funeral scene looks cool because of how emotional and how heart-wrenching it looks from afar. I like the addition of all the elephants mourning in the background. It was a little dark this early on the series. One elephant hugs Aminifu and looks like their going to cry, another elephant and her calf are crying, while hugging each other.
-I like how you can see shades of Mufasa's death through Simba's voice in this episode, such as, "And now Aminifu has completely his part of the circle of life," and "Well, time for the tribute." I like this because I like to think Simba is obviously nervous about performing a eulogy in front of elephants, but, probably also a bit upset and mourning over his own father's death. I mean, in fairness, he never to give his father a proper send off when he died, so, this probably hit even harder for him.
-I like how this is Zazu's first main character moment in the series and how much of a hard worker and a loyal he is to Simba and Nala, his whole motivation is just to help Simba learn Elephantese properly so he can impress Ma Tembo's herd, during the tribute.
-Nala is such a sweetheart and a loving partner to Simba. I love her because she's pretty much exactly how she was in the original film. She's his loving and supportive wife, and I love the way he gives him moral support when he gets nervous. I love her snarky jab at her husband early on the episode too, by the way, "Worried about Kiara? Or are you worried about your tribute?"
-The song "Duties of the King" was decent enough, I suppose. I mean, it's not my favourite song in the series and I wouldn't be reaching for it. But, I don't hate it. I like the more cutesy, "miscellaneous" animals shown in the background, like the chimpanzees and the porcupines. Plus, it's nice to know that Simba doesn't just sit on his ass all day and that he does important jobs, like he assigns gazelles to their grazing grounds and songbirds to their trees. I love that he presides over aardvark wedding rites and then we saw Muhanga and Muhangus kissing behind some grass. So, I wonder if Simba did in fact, preside over their wedding before this episode. Overall, I like the cute scenes of this song and I like the fact that Simba actually has important stuff to do. I can see why kids would dance around to this song because it's very bouncy and energetic. The beat is fine, but, I don't like Rob Lowe's singing voice as Simba. I think they should've used Cam Clarke all along for The Lion Guard, who actually voices Mwoga the vulture. I don't mind the beat, but, I don't think Simba and Zazu are the best singers, at least in this series, that is. I'll give it a 5/10 because there are worse songs than it.
-Ma Tembo is such a sweetheart in this episode and I love her. She doesn't have a major role in the series as of yet, but, it's still clear in this episode that she has a great relationship with Simba and the Royal Family. I'm glad she had a bigger part in Season 2. I also love her voice actress, Lynette DuPree (R.I.P) and I think she's one of the best in the series. I love how she makes her sound genuinely sad during the procession and then a little bittersweet during the "poop" scene. Also, shout out to the moment where she wraps her trunk around Simba.
-Also, call me childish if you want to, but I actually love it when Simba actually says that Aminifu had "poop on him". I mean, it just gets me because that's not something you'd say at a funeral and the fact that the elephants took it really well and actually laughed hysterically is genuinely hilarious. Like, even his daughter admitted that he had always had faeces on him. It was funny because of how much Simba feels like he screwed up, but, then, the elephants had a really good sense of humour about it.
-Also, this episode makes me wish that at least someone went to the Elephant Graveyard during this series. Maybe Aminifu's funeral could've been there and Simba and Nala would've had to go the place where they almost got killed as cubs or maybe even Kion and the Lion Guard would have to go there. It's such a missed opportunity. Or if Janja went there then maybe he could've learn that Scar betrayed his ancestors long before the events of The Lion Guard. But, speaking of the Elephant Graveyard, I bet Ma Tembo's herd are going to wait for Aminifu to decompose and then carry his remains to the Graveyard because that's something that elephants do if a member of their herd dies outside of their designated area. I like to think that that's what happened after this episode. I just wish they had the funeral in the Elephant Graveyard and we got to see Simba and Nala go there as adults, but, I'm not going to fault this episode for not going in this direction.
-Zazu, "I'm not sure Sire, but, I think you just said he had.... {quietly} poop on him...." Try not to judge me too harshly, but, I just find poop jokes hilarious for some reason, as an adult.
Cons
-First off, I don't like how Kion and Kiara were both dumbed down for the sake of plot-convenience for much of this episode. I get that they're still kids, but, Kion's plans to move the bees instead of the elands was the most stupid idea I've seen in the series. The literally just had an episode where Kion calls out his best friend, Bunga, for making bad decisions and now it's Kion who made a really dumb decision. I mean, that should be bee rescue 101, don't try to move a swarm of bees, they do not like, and the fact that Kiara spells it out for them before this scene, "....if the elands step on the beehives, they'll get stung.... there could be chaos." She's speaking nothing but facts. Kion should've realised that they shouldn't have tried to aggravate the bees. I don't like the fact that he acts cocky and dismissive towards Kiara, when she was so obviously right. I hate the way Kion just randomly disobeys her out of spite, even though she gave him advice. However, Kiara was dumb to go into the Outlands alone to see Janja. I mean, I admire her willingness to give strangers a chance for peace, but the fact that she had her suspicions about him and she already knew what he was like, in accordance to the pilot episode, wouldn't she see reason to bring Tiifu and Zuri along for backup.
-I don't like how this episode seems to indicate that Simba favours his daughter over his son. Between the pilot episode and this episode, it seems like he sees Kion as a just a Child Soldier and doesn't actually love him equally. I know it's obviously not through, but, I don't like how he gives off an impression that he has favourites. Parents don't have favourites, unless you're an evil lioness named Zira and you give your youngest son everything, but then treat your eldest son like dirt. But, Simba isn't like that. I don't like how he says "I have faith in you," in such a way that gives off Parental Favouritism vibes. I'm really glad he doesn't have this in any of the later episodes.
-I hate the way the writers tried to do the Kion/Scar and Kiara/Mufasa parallels in this episode. I just don't like it being used as a plot device. The series makes a point to say that Kion is nothing like Scar and how he would never take his anger out on his family and friends. I don't mind Kiara being like her grandfather because he was a great king in his day, but, I don't like how the writers made Kion and Kiara have a similar relationship that led to Mufasa's fall. Also, one thing I loathed early on in the series is the fanart of Kion brutally murdering Kiara in rage, just like Scar murdered Mufasa. I just hate it so much because it would happen since Kiara and Kion have a caring relationship, where they do bicker like siblings tend to do, but, they would never turn on each other.
-I don't like the part where Kiara and Kion were outright malicious towards each other. All the lion cubs in this episode were quite mean-spirited at times. Kion and Kiara for obviously constantly fighting and being horrible instead of admitting to being wrong in certain situations, like the bees and the elands and the Janja situation. Kion is too cocky and overconfident about the bees, for my liking, and Kiara allows Tiifu and Zuri's influence to get her head and ends up believing she's always right. Kion only adds fuel to the fire by yelling at Kiara and then callously running out her instead of being upfront with her about Janja's true intentions. I get that siblings don't always see eye-to-eye on things, but, I don't like Kion and Kiara constantly being scumbags to each other and not giving things a second thought until the end. Mufasa had to be the one to put an end to the "sibling drama".
-Tiifu and Zuri were the worst of all, in my opinion, and I think all of you guys will agree. They were pretty annoying and obnoxious in this episode. They were very disrespectful and condescending towards Kion just because he's not a queen, and they caused Kiara to be disrespectful right back. Kiara doesn't strike me as disrespectful without these two around. I'm glad she actually stands up to them in later episodes rather than being influenced by them. Zuri is my least favourite of the two of them, she comes off as super mean-spirited and bitchy, and Tiifu comes off as domineering and rude. I don't like the way they talk down and belittle Kion and how they throw shade at anyone who believes Kiara is wrong. They act like stereotypical Mean Girls, but, the annoying kind. Plus, they weren't very good friends to Kiara for letting her go into the Outlands alone without a second thought about the fact that it might be dangerous. That doesn't sound like Tiifu. Remember how in the pilot, she was deeply concerned when Kiara was trapped by the gazelles. But, here, the stakes are much higher, and she's up against a much bigger threat and Tiifu and Zuri don't seem to give a damn. I'm glad Kion called them out on this behaviour before leaving. What I wouldn't give for Tiifu and Zuri to be captured by Janja instead, not to get eaten, but just so they can see how dangerous it is. It's episodes like this that make me wonder are they her actual best friends or are they just using her to hang out with the Royal Family. Kiara deserves better than these self-entitled bitches, in my opinion.
-I feel like Kiara should've been the main focus of this episode instead of Kion. I know this only S1 Ep4, but, I still think this should've been a Kiara focused episode, rather than a brothesister episode. I would've been interested to see Kiara take centre stage and the Lion Guard take a back seat. Then, we could've seen more of Kiara's apprehension about becoming Queen and her trying to make all the decisions without Simba around to guide her, and most importantly, see her trying to decide what sort of Queen she wants to be. I would've loved if Kion tried to be supportive of her and tries to help her watch over the entire kingdom, instead of saying "Screw you Kiara, go get herself killed if you want to and my friends hate you." I would've liked to see that explored and maybe have them be a little bit annoyed at each other, but without making them really malicious. Also, have Tiifu and Zuri be in their annoying phase and for Kiara to realise that her "so-called" friends are not being very good friends to her, and have her ditch those bitches at the end of the episode. Then, have Kiara and Kion make some big decision together that really develops their relationship, in the future.
-I don't like how Simba is portrayed for much of this episode. I know, he was mourning the loss of an old friend, but I really don't like angry Simba moments in this series. I don't like the fact that all Zazu was doing was trying to help him practice his eulogy and Simba gets frustrated and roars in his face. I hate it when he throws tantrums, as a full-grown adult lion. I hate the idea of Simba regressing more into his evil uncle as of this series. I know he's not, but, I hate it when acts like it. Zazu, bless him, was just trying to help and Simba took out his rage on him. I do not like it when Zazu has to be the butt of all the jokes. I don't like Simba being a headstrong asshole in The Lion Guard.
-I also don't want to point fingers, but, if Simba hadn't left his semi-young daughter to rule over an entire kingdom for a few days, none of the conflict would've happened if he left Kion and Kiara with a responsible adult, like Rafiki or Basi or someone, just to keep an eye on things. I wouldn't leave kids their age home alone for even a day or more than an afternoon. If they had an adult in Pride Rock with them, the arguing wouldn't have spiralled out of control the way that it did. Also, this makes no sense with Simba's character in TLK 2. This is the same guy who sheltered his daughter the whole time she was growing up and wouldn't even let her explore more than 2ft from Pride Rock or even leave Pride Rock, at another point in the film. In this episode, she's still a cub and he's okay with leaving her to look after an entire kingdom for days on end! Yes, he did show hesitation, but that was after he and Nala had already left the Pride Lands. This episode fails to show just how okay he was with leaving his preteen daughter in charge of the kingdom for a few days with no adult supervision. Also, this episode and the series fails to explain how he regressed back into his over-protective state of mind in the second half of TLK 2.
-A minor complaint I have. This is a very minor nitpick. But, the distance between Kilio Valley and the Pride Lands that was established in this episode is very confusing. This episode implies that the elephants live approximately a two or three day walk from the Pride Lands, enough for Simba to outside of the kingdom, when in other episodes it's actually a part of the Pride Lands, just barely on the outskirts of the kingdom. I also don't get why the writers made it seem like Simba, Nala and Zazu took like a day or less to arrive at the elephants' funeral. There's no indication that they were travelling at night or that they ever slept. However, I understand, the writers just wanted to show some of journey and then transition to the day of the funeral, so I won't fault it to harshly. However, I do wish that the distance between Kilio Valley and the Pride Lands was consistent. This episode makes it seem like that whenever Kion and his friends have to help the elephants, it would take them a whole day to arrive on the scene. But, that's just a small criticism I had with this episode.
Overall
So, overall, I did always thoroughly enjoy this episode. Even as a kid, I could not stand the fact that Kiara got a lot of hate in the Lion Guard Fandom and that loads of people blamed her, just her, for a lot of the drama in this episode. Kion and Kiara shared 50% of the blame each and I think that Kiara is overhated. Anyways, I did like Kion and Kiara interacting like real siblings and slowly learning how to work together, it felt a little bit like a prequel to "Baboons" and "The Trail to Udugu", in that way. I like the lesson about learning to communicate well and to listen to one another and that they were both in the right and wrong, at different points. I liked the loving sibling dynamic at the end and the friendship with all the Lion Guard. I like the sense of family between Simba, Nala, Kiara and Kion at the end. Janja poses as a genuinely threat to Kiara. I think the humour was pretty solid as well and the educational value. I liked the worldbuilding aspect and the elephants' relationship with the lions. Aminifu is a cool headcanon character. The only parts I didn't like were, Tiifu and Zuri were unbearably annoying in this episode and weren't very good friends to Kiara. I don't like them being stereotypical Middle School girls. I hate their disrespect and belittling towards Kion and their toxic influence on Kiara. I didn't like Kiara and Kion's maliciousness at the start or the fact that the writers tried to draw Mufasa/Scar parallels. I don't like angry Simba at all in this series. I hate the fact that he gives off Parental Favouritism vibes in this episode. I don't like the fact that Kion and Kiara were hit with the idiot stick in this episode. Simba and Tiifu and Zuri are kind of at fault for all the drama in this episode. The song was just decent, not the best not the worst. I really don't like arrogant Kion. However, this episode has a lot of love to it clearly. Overall, I'll give this episode a 6.75/10, it's not perfect, but I think it deserves more love.
submitted by AnimationFan_2003 to lionking [link] [comments]
Simba leaves Kiara in charge of the Pride Lands while he, Nala, and Zazu go to Kilio Valley to attend a funeral for an old elephant friend named Amanifu who has just died. Upon learning this from Mzingo, Janja decides to take advantage of Kiara's inexperience and comes up with a plan to take over the Pride Lands. Meanwhile, Simba is nervous about performing his eulogy in front of the elephants, including Aminifu's daughter, Ma Tembo.Song: "Duties of the King" sung by Simba and Zazu
Pros
-First off, I like the sibling dynamic in this episode, as somebody with a similarly aged older brother. Kion and Kiara's relationship has resonated with me, the way they have off days and arguments, but, obviously love each other and make it out strong in the end. I, for one, do not hate Kiara in The Lion Guard, and Kion gives her the same attitude she gives him in early episodes. I like watching their relationship go through ups and downs throughout Season 1.
-I know the opening scene, where Kiara and Kion are fighting over a tree to sharpen their claws is quite intense, because they would've probably gotten into a scuffle if Simba hadn't showed up when he did, but, that is siblings for you sometimes. I feel like anyone who's got siblings of your own can relate, at least a little bit, to that scene.
-I like the plotline of Kiara and Kion's sibling rivalry stemming from their roles in leadership. Kiara is clearly a reflection of her father, when he was a cub, which is interesting and so, she thinks that being the Future Queen is really swell and makes her the alpha, and Kion (who is no better than her) thinks that being Leader of the Lion Guard makes him more important than her. I like this mechanic in this episode. It makes me want to know if Scar felt the same way about Mufasa. I mean, Kion was obviously not resentful of Kiara, unlike Scar, but I wonder if a similar thing happened with the two brothers except, in this case, it drove Scar to insanity and wanting to murder Mufasa.
-Now let's talk about Kiara being left in charge of the Pride Lands (I mean, I do think the main conflict of the episode was Simba's fault, but we'll get to that later). So, I like the fact that Kiara is nervous about ruling the Pride Lands, even for a brief period of time. I like this because for one thing, she's still only a cub at this time, so, she's entitled to be nervous and anxious about being responsible for an entire kingdom. There's a lot of responsibility being placed on her at such a young age, but, she still remained likable, in my opinion. I do like how, in The Lion Guard, she takes her responsibility as Future Queen very seriously. I know this is unpopular to say, but, I headcanon that, as she's grown up into an older cub, she's realised that being queen won't prevent her from being herself, a concern she had at the beginning of TLK 2.
-I do empathise with Kiara, and Kion, because they are both being put into a huge responsibility of looking after the entire kingdom on their own, while all the adults are away from Pride Rock. This is still really early on in Season 1, so Kion is inexperienced as Leader of the Lion Guard, and Kiara only just started her training with Simba, in the pilot episode. I do feel bad at the fact that they have to figure everything without their parents around and I respect them for managing to work out their differences by the end of the episode.
-I really feel bad for Kiara because she gets a lot of crap from people in the TLG community, moreso than Kion does. I feel really sorry for her because people say they hate her for her attitude and that they think she's a self-righteous bitch at the start of the series, but, I don't. Even as a kid, I knew that a lot of Kiara's behaviour in this episode was down to the stress of being left in charge of whole kingdom for a few days without her parents around, while still being a cub at this point. I do really like her and it really upsets when I see people hating on her. I don't think Kiara really means to be controlling in this episode, she's just trying to do right by her father while he's gone.
-I like the fact that Kiara is really hesitant and nervous to have a huge weight on her shoulders, a role she was previously really excited to fulfil in the pilot episode. When Simba asks this of her, she's understanding feeling a lot of pressure to make him proud. I like the fact that Simba admits to her that he was also nervous about becoming king the first time. I like this because we only saw the side of him that was cocky, overconfident and optimistic about becoming king. I like the fact that she was nervous and that he decides to be upfront about it.
-Kiara still remained a likable character to me throughout this episode. I like how she starts out as nervous and how her confidence is slowly building up nicely during the episode. But, she never came off as mean-spirited, to me. Also, it becomes clear that the reason her responsibility goes to her head is because of Tiifu and Zuri's influence on her and the Lion Guard's inexperience and, in this case, plot-convenient incompetence.
-Beshte, "I'm sure she'll be a nice queen." Well, I'm glad at least one of you believes in her. I can't tell you guys how much I love Beshte, always the sweetest soul out of the group.
-Ono, "Thank you for the opportunity, my queen. And you.... err..... my Kion." That line was funnier than it had any right to be.
-Speaking of which, I thought seeing Ono in Zazu's position, temporarily for Kiara was interesting and I think was a great use of his character, outside of being a Member of the Lion Guard. I personally would've been down for more scenes like this. I think a cool send off for Ono would've been to have him be the Royal Advisor to Queen Kiara and King Kovu, in the future. I wish Ono had stayed in the Pride Lands in the series finale and had become Zazu's apprentice or something.
-Bunga, "Your majesty." {bows at Kiara}. Kiara, "Bunga, that's really not necessary." I found that whole interaction surprisingly funny. Also, strong feeling that Bunga has a huge crush on his best friend's sister at this point, and Kiara views him as her friend, nothing more.
-Kiara's plan about the Bees and the Eelands fiasco was actually very smart, and even when I saw this as a kid, I knew that she had a better idea than Kion. Her idea about moving the eelands away from bees' nests is smarter because bees obviously sting when angered. So, Kion was too proud to admit Kiara had the better idea.
-One of the funniest parts of the whole episode for me was Kion saying, "I say we move the bees". Then, the scene cuts to Kion, Beshte, Fuli and Ono running away from a swarm of bees, in terror. I obviously don't want them hurt, but, I just had to laugh because it was so predictable.
-Bunga, "What are you guys running for? Bees taste even better when they're mad!" Accurate behaviour from a honey badger. They can raid beehives without being stung due to their very thick hide and their stink sap.
-When the Lion Guard arrived back at Pride Rock covered in bee stings, if I were Kiara, I'd be laughing in Kion's face at that moment, like "Ha, ha, you were wrong. Only an idiot would decide to move a swarm of bees to a new place." But, in fairness, Kiara was right to be mad at him, in that moment, for his little screw up.
-"It wasn't a total disaster," Kion, while talking to Kiara. Kiara, looks at Fuli and Ono scratching themselves, "Really? It looks pretty total to me." I mean, she does have a point there. In this situation, Kion had everything to gain from taking her advice.
-"Admit it. I was right about the bees and you were wrong." Kion, just admit it and save yourself the embarrassment. Kiara was not being rude to him whatsoever. She was speaking nothing but facts.
-When Kiara talks to Mzingo at Pride Rock, I like the fact that the latter is clearly higher up in the frame because he's the one dominating the conversation and is also the one who manipulates Kiara. I think it's a nice touch where he creepily approaches and blackmails her.
-*laughs "Janja wants peace?" I like the fact that Kiara is clearly sceptical and she's obviously suspicious of Janja's true intentions. I like this because it doesn't make Kiara out to be seriously wayyy too gullible and silly. The fact that was she was suspicious feels more in-line with TLK 2 and makes her decision to believe Janja, partially Kion's fault. Manipulation is also a very powerful tool, especially to done on a semi-young child, like Kiara.
-I like the fact that Mufasa appears to Kion, unprompted in this episode, for the first time in the series. I love this because it feels like Mufasa saw the argument that had just gone down and was like, "Right I need to put an end to this sibling drama before it gets out of hand. I need to make Kion see the error of his ways."
-I actually love the fact that Kiara is, at least partially willing, to give Outlanders a chance for peace. It feels like a nice bit of foreshadowing for her character arc in TLK 2, where she was able to give the Outsider lions a chance to fit in.
-Kion angrily to Tiifu and Zuri, "Ugh! Some advisors you two are!" That was more hilarious than it had any right to be. Because, let's be honest, they were pretty obnoxious in this episode.
-"Get away from the Queen!!!!" I actually love the moment where Kion comes bursting in like a superhero, to his sister's aid. I also love the fact that he calls Kiara his queen, at this point, because he clearly listened to Mufasa's advice, and also because he had felt somewhat responsible for her almost being killed by Janja.
-"Oh we can fight all right!!!" So badass. I personally would've loved to see Kiara fight alongside the Lion Guard. I think it would've been cool to see her help to fight off Janja's clan. I wanted to see what she could do.
-"Six on six..... Forget it!!!!" Yeah, you better run, Janja, you don't stand a chance against all six of these heroic friends. And one of them is a bloody hippo.
-I love Kion and Kiara's closeness at the end of the episode where they make up for their uncivil, squabbling at the start. Kion finally rightfully admits that he should've taken Kiara's advice about the bees and the elands, and Kiara admits that Kion was right about Janja being nothing but trouble.
-Kion, "And I should've listened to you about the bees." Ono, "Oh, sure {rolls his eyes}. Now he admits it." Oh, Ono, you knew all along, but, we love you.
-Kiara and Kion when Simba and Nala arrive home, are really sweet. I love the fact that Kiara wants to be honest about what happened, "Ruling the Pride Lands? It went..." I absolutely love the moment where Kion decides to cover for her and admits that she'll be a great queen, this is an incredibly sweet brother and sister moment. That moment feels like a precursor to the episode "Baboons" and even later "The Trail to Udugu."
-I love the moral of this episode about "being supportive of your loved ones efforts to help, especially when they are wrong," because it applies to both Kiara and Kion in two different situations. Kion was obviously wrong to go against Kiara's advice to move the elands, but, Kiara learned that she should've been more sensitive about that whole situation. But, Kion also learned that if hadn't been so dismissive of her acting queen for a few days and given her his utmost support when she was clearly nervous about ruling the Pride Lands. If Kion and Kiara been more sensitive to each other, then, they would've been able to be in charge of the Pride Lands together instead of arguing. Also, this episode shares another moral, "Communication is key to understanding each other and a successful team." Kiara learns this after Kion saves her and she realises she was wrong about Janja, and Kion learns this when the Lion Guard get stung by bees, and even later when he realises that he was partly to blame for Kiara going into the Outlands, and that if he had been upfront with her instead of outright yelling at her and running out on her, she wouldn't have needed to be rescued. These are two important lessons for kids going through school together, or with siblings and friends.
-Also, Janja is genuinely dangerous and scary in this episode. He traps Kiara in the Outlands to use her as a bargaining chip for Simba or else he and his would eat her. They would've gotten away with it if Kion didn't jump in at the last second. Janja threatened the freaking princess of the Pride Lands! Reason number #50 why he should never be allowed enter the Pride Lands, no matter if he is starving or not, because he clearly cannot be trusted to follow the rules.
-And now I'm finally going to talk about the B-plot of the episode. It wasn't as good the A-plot, in my opinion. I did love the worldbuilding aspect of this episode where we learn that different animals in the Pride Lands have their own customs and traditions that need to be respected. I like the idea of Simba upholding a tradition and it was interesting that he was never trained for it because obviously Mufasa died before he could complete his training.
-I like the idea of Simba, Nala and Zazu going to an elephant funeral. Elephants actually have "funerals" in real life. In real life, if a member of their herd dies, the elephants will crowd around them ceremoniously to pay tribute and they'll collect twigs and branches to cover the fallen elephant to pay tribute, out of respect for them. I love the way its portrayed as a ceremonial funeral in The Lion Guard and that Simba is upholding a tradition. I love the way he has to say it in Elephantese because the idea of the elephants' having a language barrier is a cool worldbuilding element.
-Aminifu is a cool worldbuilding character too who, we're told, played a big part in the Pride Lands' revival and bringing the circle of life into balance. I like to headcanon we was a childhood friend of Mufasa and Scar, and the rest of the Royal Family, and how he go on to be a good friend to Simba, Nala and the rest of Simba's pride. I like to think Aminifu was responsible for all the animals in the kingdom, similar to the Lion Guard, and how his daughter fills that role in Season 2.
-The Elephant Funeral scene looks cool because of how emotional and how heart-wrenching it looks from afar. I like the addition of all the elephants mourning in the background. It was a little dark this early on the series. One elephant hugs Aminifu and looks like their going to cry, another elephant and her calf are crying, while hugging each other.
-I like how you can see shades of Mufasa's death through Simba's voice in this episode, such as, "And now Aminifu has completely his part of the circle of life," and "Well, time for the tribute." I like this because I like to think Simba is obviously nervous about performing a eulogy in front of elephants, but, probably also a bit upset and mourning over his own father's death. I mean, in fairness, he never to give his father a proper send off when he died, so, this probably hit even harder for him.
-I like how this is Zazu's first main character moment in the series and how much of a hard worker and a loyal he is to Simba and Nala, his whole motivation is just to help Simba learn Elephantese properly so he can impress Ma Tembo's herd, during the tribute.
-Nala is such a sweetheart and a loving partner to Simba. I love her because she's pretty much exactly how she was in the original film. She's his loving and supportive wife, and I love the way he gives him moral support when he gets nervous. I love her snarky jab at her husband early on the episode too, by the way, "Worried about Kiara? Or are you worried about your tribute?"
-The song "Duties of the King" was decent enough, I suppose. I mean, it's not my favourite song in the series and I wouldn't be reaching for it. But, I don't hate it. I like the more cutesy, "miscellaneous" animals shown in the background, like the chimpanzees and the porcupines. Plus, it's nice to know that Simba doesn't just sit on his ass all day and that he does important jobs, like he assigns gazelles to their grazing grounds and songbirds to their trees. I love that he presides over aardvark wedding rites and then we saw Muhanga and Muhangus kissing behind some grass. So, I wonder if Simba did in fact, preside over their wedding before this episode. Overall, I like the cute scenes of this song and I like the fact that Simba actually has important stuff to do. I can see why kids would dance around to this song because it's very bouncy and energetic. The beat is fine, but, I don't like Rob Lowe's singing voice as Simba. I think they should've used Cam Clarke all along for The Lion Guard, who actually voices Mwoga the vulture. I don't mind the beat, but, I don't think Simba and Zazu are the best singers, at least in this series, that is. I'll give it a 5/10 because there are worse songs than it.
-Ma Tembo is such a sweetheart in this episode and I love her. She doesn't have a major role in the series as of yet, but, it's still clear in this episode that she has a great relationship with Simba and the Royal Family. I'm glad she had a bigger part in Season 2. I also love her voice actress, Lynette DuPree (R.I.P) and I think she's one of the best in the series. I love how she makes her sound genuinely sad during the procession and then a little bittersweet during the "poop" scene. Also, shout out to the moment where she wraps her trunk around Simba.
-Also, call me childish if you want to, but I actually love it when Simba actually says that Aminifu had "poop on him". I mean, it just gets me because that's not something you'd say at a funeral and the fact that the elephants took it really well and actually laughed hysterically is genuinely hilarious. Like, even his daughter admitted that he had always had faeces on him. It was funny because of how much Simba feels like he screwed up, but, then, the elephants had a really good sense of humour about it.
-Also, this episode makes me wish that at least someone went to the Elephant Graveyard during this series. Maybe Aminifu's funeral could've been there and Simba and Nala would've had to go the place where they almost got killed as cubs or maybe even Kion and the Lion Guard would have to go there. It's such a missed opportunity. Or if Janja went there then maybe he could've learn that Scar betrayed his ancestors long before the events of The Lion Guard. But, speaking of the Elephant Graveyard, I bet Ma Tembo's herd are going to wait for Aminifu to decompose and then carry his remains to the Graveyard because that's something that elephants do if a member of their herd dies outside of their designated area. I like to think that that's what happened after this episode. I just wish they had the funeral in the Elephant Graveyard and we got to see Simba and Nala go there as adults, but, I'm not going to fault this episode for not going in this direction.
-Zazu, "I'm not sure Sire, but, I think you just said he had.... {quietly} poop on him...." Try not to judge me too harshly, but, I just find poop jokes hilarious for some reason, as an adult.
Cons
-First off, I don't like how Kion and Kiara were both dumbed down for the sake of plot-convenience for much of this episode. I get that they're still kids, but, Kion's plans to move the bees instead of the elands was the most stupid idea I've seen in the series. The literally just had an episode where Kion calls out his best friend, Bunga, for making bad decisions and now it's Kion who made a really dumb decision. I mean, that should be bee rescue 101, don't try to move a swarm of bees, they do not like, and the fact that Kiara spells it out for them before this scene, "....if the elands step on the beehives, they'll get stung.... there could be chaos." She's speaking nothing but facts. Kion should've realised that they shouldn't have tried to aggravate the bees. I don't like the fact that he acts cocky and dismissive towards Kiara, when she was so obviously right. I hate the way Kion just randomly disobeys her out of spite, even though she gave him advice. However, Kiara was dumb to go into the Outlands alone to see Janja. I mean, I admire her willingness to give strangers a chance for peace, but the fact that she had her suspicions about him and she already knew what he was like, in accordance to the pilot episode, wouldn't she see reason to bring Tiifu and Zuri along for backup.
-I don't like how this episode seems to indicate that Simba favours his daughter over his son. Between the pilot episode and this episode, it seems like he sees Kion as a just a Child Soldier and doesn't actually love him equally. I know it's obviously not through, but, I don't like how he gives off an impression that he has favourites. Parents don't have favourites, unless you're an evil lioness named Zira and you give your youngest son everything, but then treat your eldest son like dirt. But, Simba isn't like that. I don't like how he says "I have faith in you," in such a way that gives off Parental Favouritism vibes. I'm really glad he doesn't have this in any of the later episodes.
-I hate the way the writers tried to do the Kion/Scar and Kiara/Mufasa parallels in this episode. I just don't like it being used as a plot device. The series makes a point to say that Kion is nothing like Scar and how he would never take his anger out on his family and friends. I don't mind Kiara being like her grandfather because he was a great king in his day, but, I don't like how the writers made Kion and Kiara have a similar relationship that led to Mufasa's fall. Also, one thing I loathed early on in the series is the fanart of Kion brutally murdering Kiara in rage, just like Scar murdered Mufasa. I just hate it so much because it would happen since Kiara and Kion have a caring relationship, where they do bicker like siblings tend to do, but, they would never turn on each other.
-I don't like the part where Kiara and Kion were outright malicious towards each other. All the lion cubs in this episode were quite mean-spirited at times. Kion and Kiara for obviously constantly fighting and being horrible instead of admitting to being wrong in certain situations, like the bees and the elands and the Janja situation. Kion is too cocky and overconfident about the bees, for my liking, and Kiara allows Tiifu and Zuri's influence to get her head and ends up believing she's always right. Kion only adds fuel to the fire by yelling at Kiara and then callously running out her instead of being upfront with her about Janja's true intentions. I get that siblings don't always see eye-to-eye on things, but, I don't like Kion and Kiara constantly being scumbags to each other and not giving things a second thought until the end. Mufasa had to be the one to put an end to the "sibling drama".
-Tiifu and Zuri were the worst of all, in my opinion, and I think all of you guys will agree. They were pretty annoying and obnoxious in this episode. They were very disrespectful and condescending towards Kion just because he's not a queen, and they caused Kiara to be disrespectful right back. Kiara doesn't strike me as disrespectful without these two around. I'm glad she actually stands up to them in later episodes rather than being influenced by them. Zuri is my least favourite of the two of them, she comes off as super mean-spirited and bitchy, and Tiifu comes off as domineering and rude. I don't like the way they talk down and belittle Kion and how they throw shade at anyone who believes Kiara is wrong. They act like stereotypical Mean Girls, but, the annoying kind. Plus, they weren't very good friends to Kiara for letting her go into the Outlands alone without a second thought about the fact that it might be dangerous. That doesn't sound like Tiifu. Remember how in the pilot, she was deeply concerned when Kiara was trapped by the gazelles. But, here, the stakes are much higher, and she's up against a much bigger threat and Tiifu and Zuri don't seem to give a damn. I'm glad Kion called them out on this behaviour before leaving. What I wouldn't give for Tiifu and Zuri to be captured by Janja instead, not to get eaten, but just so they can see how dangerous it is. It's episodes like this that make me wonder are they her actual best friends or are they just using her to hang out with the Royal Family. Kiara deserves better than these self-entitled bitches, in my opinion.
-I feel like Kiara should've been the main focus of this episode instead of Kion. I know this only S1 Ep4, but, I still think this should've been a Kiara focused episode, rather than a brothesister episode. I would've been interested to see Kiara take centre stage and the Lion Guard take a back seat. Then, we could've seen more of Kiara's apprehension about becoming Queen and her trying to make all the decisions without Simba around to guide her, and most importantly, see her trying to decide what sort of Queen she wants to be. I would've loved if Kion tried to be supportive of her and tries to help her watch over the entire kingdom, instead of saying "Screw you Kiara, go get herself killed if you want to and my friends hate you." I would've liked to see that explored and maybe have them be a little bit annoyed at each other, but without making them really malicious. Also, have Tiifu and Zuri be in their annoying phase and for Kiara to realise that her "so-called" friends are not being very good friends to her, and have her ditch those bitches at the end of the episode. Then, have Kiara and Kion make some big decision together that really develops their relationship, in the future.
-I don't like how Simba is portrayed for much of this episode. I know, he was mourning the loss of an old friend, but I really don't like angry Simba moments in this series. I don't like the fact that all Zazu was doing was trying to help him practice his eulogy and Simba gets frustrated and roars in his face. I hate it when he throws tantrums, as a full-grown adult lion. I hate the idea of Simba regressing more into his evil uncle as of this series. I know he's not, but, I hate it when acts like it. Zazu, bless him, was just trying to help and Simba took out his rage on him. I do not like it when Zazu has to be the butt of all the jokes. I don't like Simba being a headstrong asshole in The Lion Guard.
-I also don't want to point fingers, but, if Simba hadn't left his semi-young daughter to rule over an entire kingdom for a few days, none of the conflict would've happened if he left Kion and Kiara with a responsible adult, like Rafiki or Basi or someone, just to keep an eye on things. I wouldn't leave kids their age home alone for even a day or more than an afternoon. If they had an adult in Pride Rock with them, the arguing wouldn't have spiralled out of control the way that it did. Also, this makes no sense with Simba's character in TLK 2. This is the same guy who sheltered his daughter the whole time she was growing up and wouldn't even let her explore more than 2ft from Pride Rock or even leave Pride Rock, at another point in the film. In this episode, she's still a cub and he's okay with leaving her to look after an entire kingdom for days on end! Yes, he did show hesitation, but that was after he and Nala had already left the Pride Lands. This episode fails to show just how okay he was with leaving his preteen daughter in charge of the kingdom for a few days with no adult supervision. Also, this episode and the series fails to explain how he regressed back into his over-protective state of mind in the second half of TLK 2.
-A minor complaint I have. This is a very minor nitpick. But, the distance between Kilio Valley and the Pride Lands that was established in this episode is very confusing. This episode implies that the elephants live approximately a two or three day walk from the Pride Lands, enough for Simba to outside of the kingdom, when in other episodes it's actually a part of the Pride Lands, just barely on the outskirts of the kingdom. I also don't get why the writers made it seem like Simba, Nala and Zazu took like a day or less to arrive at the elephants' funeral. There's no indication that they were travelling at night or that they ever slept. However, I understand, the writers just wanted to show some of journey and then transition to the day of the funeral, so I won't fault it to harshly. However, I do wish that the distance between Kilio Valley and the Pride Lands was consistent. This episode makes it seem like that whenever Kion and his friends have to help the elephants, it would take them a whole day to arrive on the scene. But, that's just a small criticism I had with this episode.
Overall
So, overall, I did always thoroughly enjoy this episode. Even as a kid, I could not stand the fact that Kiara got a lot of hate in the Lion Guard Fandom and that loads of people blamed her, just her, for a lot of the drama in this episode. Kion and Kiara shared 50% of the blame each and I think that Kiara is overhated. Anyways, I did like Kion and Kiara interacting like real siblings and slowly learning how to work together, it felt a little bit like a prequel to "Baboons" and "The Trail to Udugu", in that way. I like the lesson about learning to communicate well and to listen to one another and that they were both in the right and wrong, at different points. I liked the loving sibling dynamic at the end and the friendship with all the Lion Guard. I like the sense of family between Simba, Nala, Kiara and Kion at the end. Janja poses as a genuinely threat to Kiara. I think the humour was pretty solid as well and the educational value. I liked the worldbuilding aspect and the elephants' relationship with the lions. Aminifu is a cool headcanon character. The only parts I didn't like were, Tiifu and Zuri were unbearably annoying in this episode and weren't very good friends to Kiara. I don't like them being stereotypical Middle School girls. I hate their disrespect and belittling towards Kion and their toxic influence on Kiara. I didn't like Kiara and Kion's maliciousness at the start or the fact that the writers tried to draw Mufasa/Scar parallels. I don't like angry Simba at all in this series. I hate the fact that he gives off Parental Favouritism vibes in this episode. I don't like the fact that Kion and Kiara were hit with the idiot stick in this episode. Simba and Tiifu and Zuri are kind of at fault for all the drama in this episode. The song was just decent, not the best not the worst. I really don't like arrogant Kion. However, this episode has a lot of love to it clearly. Overall, I'll give this episode a 6.75/10, it's not perfect, but I think it deserves more love.
2024.05.14 14:01 Zappingsbrew A post talking about 400 words
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submitted by Zappingsbrew to u/Zappingsbrew [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 05:03 Lopsided-Praline-996 Mattress for aging spinal fusion.
I had a spinal fusion for scoliosis when I was a teen and now at 40 despite staying in shape I'm working through some issues. It's being aggravated by my mattress. I toss and turn with hip pain and occasional shoulder pain that isn't there during the day. I haven't been able to sleep solidly without waking in pain for months.
*125-130 lbs, 5'7"
*Used to stomach sleep and prefer that but last year or so have had to side sleep.
*At times I sleep pretty hot
*Current mattress is Brentwood Cedar, bought in 2018. Have a 2" "soft" latex topper on it.
*Prefer natural materials
*Budget is pretty flexible, I'm putting a premium on my sleep - would prefer a decent ability to return or swap though
*King size but I'll take a split king if it's not right for my spouse, who side sleeps, 185lbs, 6' tall and does not have any complaints about the current mattress.
Please help; I really need to get better sleep. :-(
submitted by Lopsided-Praline-996 to Mattress [link] [comments]
*125-130 lbs, 5'7"
*Used to stomach sleep and prefer that but last year or so have had to side sleep.
*At times I sleep pretty hot
*Current mattress is Brentwood Cedar, bought in 2018. Have a 2" "soft" latex topper on it.
*Prefer natural materials
*Budget is pretty flexible, I'm putting a premium on my sleep - would prefer a decent ability to return or swap though
*King size but I'll take a split king if it's not right for my spouse, who side sleeps, 185lbs, 6' tall and does not have any complaints about the current mattress.
Please help; I really need to get better sleep. :-(
2024.05.14 01:56 Significant-Usual-98 Noah The Pilgrim - Chapter 1-2: The Odyssey
Noah The Pilgrim
First Next
There is one last thing to do before leaving. If you don't recall ever being on this ship, then surely, you could have had your appearance change too.
Why was there a blanket covering a mirror? You couldn't answer that with a straight face without speculation.
"Probably me being lazy and not bothering to properly place it in the wardrobe."
'Probably' is the main focus here, you simply cannot remember ever being that lazy, yet that's the only logical conclusion to be drawn here.
You pull the thing off, careful to not displace the mirror and risk breaking it.
You have no expectations as to what may appear on the glassy surface of the mirror, yet you can't help but feel a bit anxious. Are you the same as before? How were you before? You can't remember. Are you better? Worse? The blanket is now completely off the mirror, but your eyes are closed.
Whatever is it that you see when you open your eyes, that thing will be you for the rest of your life. You swallow, opening your eyes.
You see a young man that looks to be in his mid-twenties. His brown eyes stare back at you, analyzing the bags beneath your eye sockets. The dark hair is neither too long nor too short, floating about without order thanks to the lack of gravity to keep it down. You see a beard that has not been trimmed for weeks, but also lacks thickness, each singular hair isn't particularly long either; and some even appear to be in-grown.
You touch your hand against your face, making sure it's yours. The beard doesn't feel like you supposed it would against your skin, instead of it scraping your hand you feel softness, no resistance or anything.
Just beneath the face, you see what looks like a hate crime against all that is considered holy in fashion. Plain white coveralls with the added bonus of a black tie and boots made from metal and leather. On your chest is also a badge stuck in place by velcro with your name, occupation, and crew. 'NOAH - INTERN - THE ODYSSEY.'
Only one question came to mind.
"Who the fuck designed this uniform?" You say out loud, receiving no answer.
Patting your newfound myriad of pockets, you find a large quantity of nothing. You place your wallet in one of them.
"Alright, I'll head to the bridge now, happy?" You say the AI.
"HAPPINESS WILL ONLY MEET ME ONCE YOU ARE SOMEWHERE SAFE AND YOUR CONTRACT IS TERMINATED. STOP LOITERING."
Well, that's a bit rude.
You compose yourself, straightening your back. This is what you look like, and honestly? Not too bad, but you could be better.
Returning to the cafeteria, you eye the two doors left unexplored; Communications and the one without plaque. You know where you should, but... A little peek doesn't hurt, right?
"Shouldn't we try to communicate with someone? Assuming you haven't tried it yet. I know we're far from everything, but we might as well, no?" You ask already approaching the door.
"COMMUNICATIONS ROOM IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO REACH WITHOUT PROPER PROTECTION AS OF NOW, IT'S LOCATED APPROXIMATELY TWO HUNDRED METERS FROM HERE, BLOWN OFF FROM THE REST OF THE SHIP." A shame really. "I SHALL INFORM YOU WHENEVER A DOOR LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE OR NOT."
You really want to ask what blew a whole segment of the ship off, yet you have a sneaking suspicion that your question will be met with a 'YOU DON'T HAVE CLEARANCE, JACKASS' directly in your face. So you chose to remain silent, simply nodding and approaching the correct door this time.
"Open."
---OPENING CAFETERIA DOOR NORTH---
The door silently opens.
Greeting you is a well-lit corridor. There are three doors on your left, a door at the end of the corridor, and a large window on the right. At least, you think that's a window.
You stare out from this window, nothing but utter blackness and fragments from your ship are seen. If this is the edge of the universe, and beyond this point, there is truly nothing. "Dreadful." Your speech matches your feelings.
"WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" The AI says. You feel like it spoke in a mocking tone despite their lack of emotion.
You don't answer. "First door to the left... EXO-EXPLORATION...? What's that supposed to mean?" You receive no answer.
"Open." The door opens. No declarion of it opening once again.
You are met with what could be better described as 'Apocalyptic levels of mess', paper sheets float in the air, and not one of the four tables is in its correct position.
This room has been ransacked for all its goods apparently. Large display glasses were broken leaving nothing inside their casings, that looked like they could store something with the size of the common man.
Unusual displays aside, the room was so cluttered that the trash made for an effective smoke screen against what lay on the other side.
Hissing of gas exiting an air-tight space rang throughout the room.
"I HAVE OPENED THE STORAGE FOR AN EXO SUIT THAT BEST FITS SOMEONE YOUR SIZE." The AI says. "ALTHOUGH AN INTERN SHOULD NOT COME IN CONTACT WITH TECHNOLOGY SUCH AS THIS ONE, PROTOCOL DICTATES THAT I AM TO ALLOW ITS USAGE UNDER EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES. CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY."
Easier said than done. Your vision is so cluttered that you cannot see what's ahead. "Give me a second."
Giving a light kick to the wall behind, you float face-first into the wall of thrash. Covering your face with both arms, you brace through the harmless bits of sharp objects and junk.
It's a trivial task. You arrive on the other side in no time.
In front of you is a set of boxes with luminous glass rectangles atop each one of them. All shine a bright red light, aside from one which shines green.
'Gotta be this one.'
You descend to the floor by kicking the ceiling, raising your right hand you touch the green rectangle.
*Click*
Nothing could have prepared you for the following series of events.
The box opens violently, as a metal appendage takes hold of your hand, pinning it to the box. You try to jerk and pry the thing off of you, but you fail. It's not leaving you anytime soon.
From the bottomless that is that container, a white plastic-like substance flows upward from your arm to the rest of your body. "Uh!" You don't know if you should panic or allow it to happen.
FYARN hasn't said anything, so it's probably fine...
The white thing seems to ignore the coveralls you are wearing completely, instead, it covers only your skin in a thin coat of... it. You know not what to call this thing.
In but forty seconds it has covered your whole body, excluding your head. The box lets go of your arm and stays there, floating.
You take a good look at your arms. It looks like a skin-tight suit, but it doesn't feel like plastic, in fact, it's more akin to some sort of fabric if anything.
The only bad part is that you are still using the coverall and tie, this this simply went beneath the clothing.
"GOOD, WITH THIS I CAN MONITOR YOU MORE CLOSELY. NOW PUT THE HELMET ON, YOU HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO."
You look around in search of anything that even resembles a helmet. Nope. Nothing. "Where is it?" You ask.
"...THE SUIT COMES WITHIN THE HELMET FOR EASIER PACKAGING."
The box?
You snatch the box that floated around and analyze it to the best of your ability. "How's this a helmet?"
"DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE PUTTING ON A HELMET? REALLY?"
Who is this AI, Who programmed it, and Why does it come with a taunting feature?
As idiotic as it sounds, you place the opened box atop your head. It doesn't fit properly. Maybe you're doing this wrong? You move it to your face instead.
You recoil backward as you feel the box suddenly clamping down against your head. It's useless of course, the box is holding your head and doesn't give any sign to be letting go anytime soon. No light is able to reach your eyes.
You hear metal parts scraping against themselves, moving near your ears. Abruptly your eyes can see again.
A round thin layer of glass now covers your head, almost unnoticeable for how clear it is.
"WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY I CAN NOW SEE WHAT YOU SEE." The AI's voice isn't in the room now, instead, it's inside of the suit. "DO YOU NEED INSTRUCTIONS REGARDING THIS SUIT'S FUNCTIONALITIES?"
You find it oddly comfortable as if you are surrounded by the softness of cotton, and to top it off the suit also has additional functionalities? "Hell yeah, I do!"
"YOU DO NOT HAVE THE NECESSARY CLEARANCE FOR THAT INFORMATION."
You sigh. Is this serious? "Then why the fuck did you ask?!"
"UNSAVORY LANGUAGE. IT'S NO WONDER WHY YOU REMAIN AN INTERN." The AI says outright. "IT IS RUDE NOT TO ASK, REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION." It responds to your question.
"Okay then... Is there anything I need to know before heading out?" You ask.
"NOTHING THAT YOU WON'T FIGURE OUT ON YOUR OWN."
You are unsure if you want to 'figure out on your own' if this suit comes with breathable air and is also made for space exploration. You swallow.
Meekly as always, you get out of that mess of a room, stopping at the corridor.
"Next set of directions?" You ask.
"THE DOOR AT THE END OF CORRIDOR USED TO LEAD TO THE CONNECTING CORRIDORS BETWEN THE BRIDGE AND THE REST OF THE SHIP. IT HAS BEEN BLOWN UP FROM THE INSIDE. NOW IT LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE. GO TO THE DOOR AND WAIT BY IT FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS."
"So let me get this straight," You begin, looking upwards as if the AI was above you. "You, want me, to go into the void of space, while also refusing to give me knowledge of the suit's functions?"
A fair worry, you summarize.
'I mean, there are a bunch of things that could go wrong here. I don't see anything that looks like it could help me move in space, nor do I think this thing has a built-in air tank... I could be wrong and I wish to be, but charging in without prior knowledge is ridiculous.' You wait for the AI's response, deep in thought.
"WHILE THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE OF YOU FAILING THIS TASK, THERE IS ALSO THE CHANCE OF YOU *NOT* FAILING THE TASK. FOCUS ON EITHER ONE OF YOUR CHOOSING AS YOU TAKE THE PLUNGE."
Wordlessly, you propel yourself forward, toward the end of the corridor.
'Are you shitting me? 'Chance of me nor failing' my ass!' of course, you don't word those complaints, instead choosing to speak out a complaint somewhat thought through.
"Are you sure I'm the one fit for this? It's just like you said, I'm just an intern, this is way above what my job description says I should do."
This is a bit of a stretch. You don't actually remember what was your job description, only that it had something to do with AI and being an intern.
If the AI called your bluff, it'd be pretty embarrassing.
"NOAH." The AI began. "YOU ARE HUMAN, IT IS NATURAL TO HAVE THESE THOUGHTS OF SELF-DOUBT. TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GO THROUGH THAT DOOR, AND SINCE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE LEFT, DON'T EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR YOU."
Right in the money, huh? 'Of course, I have self-doubt! I barely remember anything about this place, now I have to risk my life?!'
You finally reach a conclusion.
A dream.
'Yes, yes! How did I not consider this before? This whole thing is a god damned dream!'
You let out a chuckle.
"NOAH."
'That's why I don't remember a thing. There is nothing here to remember! Everything here is a made-up thing from my brain! I'm sure I'll wake up at some point, so why shouldn't I live a little?!'
"Heh." You smile. "Alright, I'll do it." It feels like a weight left your shoulders.
"YOU SORTED IT OUT SOONER THAN EXPECTED. GOOD. MOVE TO THE DOOR AND WAIT INSTRUCTIONS."
You do as instructed without a care in the world. You never had a lucid dream before so it's not like you knew how it felt, but if it felt as free as you feel right now, you'd be sure to make steps toward trying it out again in the future.
"Open." The door does not open.
"I DID NOT INSTRUCT YOU TO OPEN IT YET." The AI said. "I AM SLOWLY DE-PRESSURISING THE CORRIDOR YOU ARE IN TO AVOID A MINOR ACCIDENT."
The AI says that yet you don't feel any different. 'Maybe there is no palpable difference because I'm in a dream... Yes... Or it's just the suit.'
"ONCE THE DOOR OPENS, YOU WILL BE MET WITH THE OUTSIDE OF THE SHIP. DO NOT PANIC WHEN THE TIME COMES. YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES OF BREATHABLE INSIDE THE EXO-SUIT; ONE AFTER THE DOOR OPENS, SO PLEASE, TAKE YOUR TIME AND DO THINGS CAREFULLY."
One minute outside... "Sure." You say, calmly. 'I should just hold my breath for a while before taking another moment to breathe. That should maximize my time out there.'
"THERE SHOULD BE FIFTY METERS OF NOTHINGNESS BETWEEN THE DOOR YOU'RE AT, AND THE REST OF THE BRIDGE. YOUR PRIORITY IS TO FIND AN OXYGEN UNIT, SOME OF THEM ARE LOCATED AT THE BRIDGE AND ARE FULL. USE THEM TO FILL YOUR SUIT AND ALSO TO DISPENSE A TANK FOR YOU."
The door opens. You feel your heart pounding against your chest.
You haven't noticed before, but you can't hear anything but the sound of your breath and your cardiac palpitations.
Your breath is ragged and sporadic.
"KEEP CALM." You take a deep breath. The tips of your fingers, feet, and nose feel very cold.
Ahead of you is the utter nothingness. You see a gigantic metal thing, nothing like the spaceships you imagined. Its design is not sleek and aero-dynamic like what you've seen in movies, instead, it's a large mass of squares and rectangles with antenna-like things protruding from its every visible surface.
You notice that the ship is also blocking your view of the star.
It does not look like the result of an explosion, instead, it looks like something ripped the ship like you rip a piece of paper. Well, that or you don't know what kind of explosion could have caused it. Probably the latter.
What looks like two-thirds of the ship is separated from the third you are right now. You can see the inside of a few of those squares, their contents spilled out into outer space.
One of them houses a visibly important-look door. Instead of the sleek silvery-grey from the other ones you've seen thus far, this one is painted orange with white strips on it. 'That must be the bridge.' You think.
Between you and it is a sea of metal sheets floating around. "THE CHANCES OF YOU HITTING THE DEBRIS IS INFINITEDECIMALLY SMALL, UNLESS YOU AIM FOR THEM, THAT IS."
Time is of the essence.
Will your aim strike true? If you miss you'd end up floating about in space, dead in but a few minutes. Will your jump be fast enough to reach the other side before you run out of oxygen? If it isn't, it'd be like swimming for a mile, only to drown at the beach. What if that's not the actual door to the bridge?
You don't have the time to panic now, and... It's all a dream, despite how real it feels.
You place your hands on each side of the door frame, moving backward into the corridor you were just in, and just like a sling being shot, you pull with both arms at full force towards the other side.
"AIM IS ACCEPTABLE. VELOCITY IS UNIDEAL."
"The fuck do you mean 'UN-IDEAL'?! I'm going at maximum speed!" You truly pulled yourself with your whole strength.
What's worse though, is that your body is not only going forwards, but it is also spinning at a concerningly fast rate.
"I MEAN WHAT I SAID, YOU SLINGSHOTTED YOURSELF AT A BAD POSITION, AS SUCH, SOME OF THE FORWARD FORCE YOU SHOULD HAVE, IS NOW MAKING YOU ROTATE IN YOUR AXIS. IT SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM TO REACH THE OTHER SIDE WITHIN THE REQUIRED TIME, BUT I CANNOT FORESEE YOU LANDING PROPERLY."
You feel completely disoriented. You feel like your body is completely still, but your eyes tell you a completely different story. It's very bad for the headache you're already feeling.
"FUCK!" You scream into the nothingness.
"TRY NOT TO LAND WITH YOUR HEAD." The AI says with the calmest voice possible.
In less than thirty seconds, you hit your back against something hard, but you keep moving forward. You think, at least.
"AHRG." You let out a pained grunt.
Not once in your life do you recall being hurt in a dream...
It stings. It also knocked the wind out of you. You fail to compose yourself.
"YOU HIT NOTHING OF IMPORTANCE. YOU ARE STILL HEADING FOR THE BRIDGE."
In the corner of your eye, you see what you hit in the shape of a sharp metal sheet, currently spinning away in the distance.
Forty seconds have passed. You hit the door you were aiming for, kind of.
Your momentum was stopped when your chest collided against the dislodged ledge of the orange door's corridor. Your dangling legs hit the ceiling of the room below.
"Oof!"
Before falling even further, you hold onto the ledge with the tip of your fingers. You stay there for a moment, regaining your composure.
"BE QUICK."
The AI's words pressured you into quickly getting up from that ledge.
"Open!" You shouted, but it did not open. "Why isn't it opening?!" You ask the AI, then you notice a small keyboard below an equally small black screen on the side of the door. There are ten numbered keys on it, and the little screen suggests a four-number password.
"A password?! Tell me the password!"
The AI takes a moment to say anything. You don't take kindly to that. "Quick! I'm not counting how much time it's passed!"
Finally giving in, the AI speaks to you, reluctant still. "...3324."
Your trembling fingers accidentally hit the wrong password, typing '3354' instead. To make matters worse, the AI simply states the following. "YOU ARE OUT OF OXYGEN."
You swallow. If this was a dream to begin with, it just earned the title of Nightmare, if it hadn't already.
Strangely enough, you can still breathe in and out just fine, but you can't help but feel winded. It's the CO2 still inside the helmet, that's what you're breathing.
You put in the correct combination this time. The door opens.
"ON YOUR LEFT. PLACE YOUR HAND IN THE SOCKET."
You care little for what's inside the room you're in. Your heart never beat so fast.
Seeing a cube-shaped thing protruding from the wall to your left, you don't even think twice before plunging your fist into the circular hole in it.
The noise of gases passing through narrow cavities was enough to tell you something was working. You feel immediate relief, enough to make your vision darken for but a moment.
"GOOD. NOW REQUEST THE TANK."
Just when FYARN said it, did you realize there is a screen and a keyboard on the terminal you just plunged your fist into, you scratch the top of your helmet for a moment, not really knowing what to type. One thing comes to your head, however.
'REQUEST OXYGEN_5L' You type.
You've done this before. The keys on this keyboard feel familiar to you. You must have worked with it before, not this particular one, but other oxygen units.
This ship has built-in liquid oxygen storage for emergencies. The life-support of the ship, the place where breathable air is produced, has most likely been lost with the other part of the ship. This unit takes that liquid oxygen, processes it, and injects it into a suit, or an oxygen tank. It seems like that storage was unaffected.
Lucky you.
A 5-liter tank is not only large but also heavy. It's a nonfactor in this particular situation, as there is no gravity.
The silver cylinder with a transparent tube is dispensed on the floor, as an automatic door opens and closes in the blink of an eye. One end of the tube is attached to the top of the tank, the other is shaped like a syringe.
Oddly enough, the oxygen tank is exactly as you remember it being. The same robust ones hospitals everyone on earth uses, with the signature scary-looking pointer indicating the pressure, the pointer indicating the current output, and a green valve atop to calibrate how much gas is flowing.
This is a stark difference to everything looking so futuristic in this ship, and rightfully so, this is a space ship after all.
You remember having to drive twenty kilometers with a buddy of yours on one of those tanks in your car, returning from the hospital. It was... Agonizing whenever you hit a hole in the asphalt, fearing for his life when in reality he wasn't really in danger.
It's warm to the touch, just like you remember it being.
"TURN THE VALVE UNTIL THE MARKER HITS THE NUMBER ONE, AND THEN PLACE THE END OF THE TUBE AT THE BASE OF THE HELMET." You do so without the slightest of issues.
"GOOD. NEXT UP, YOU MUST LOCATE THE TERMINAL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENGINE, IT IS CURRENTLY OFFLINE AND I NEED YOU TO TURN IT ON. THIS SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING, BUT REMEMBER TO BRING THE TANK WITH YOU."
Ignoring that last comment, you look back at the wreckage you just flew past.
You see the still spinning metal sheet. You notice that the rest of the ship that was blown off also follows the 'sharp shape atop sharp shape' design.
There is one last thing you notice though.
"What is that?"
You squint your eyes. What are you seeing? Its silhouette appears to be humanoid, yet it does not look human.
"WHAT YOU ARE SEEING IS ONE OF THE OBJECTS BEING ANALYZED AT THE ODYSSEY AND NO, YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS."
That thing has... Horns? Claws? It's far away, you can't really see it. The thing is also static, frozen in the sheer coldness of space. Whatever it was, it's dead now.
You swallow. You almost ended up just like that thing.
Shaking those dreadful feelings off, you turn back to the task at hand, reaching the bridge. You close the door after passing through it again.
Looking at your surroundings, It seems like you've reached the correct door as you find yourself on the right-most corner of the bridge;
Row after row of the most diverse of terminals neatly organized decorated the gigantic room. At the front and above every terminal, is what you think should have been the front-facing window of the ship, but it looks like there is a cover in front of it. To your left, you see a staircase that leads to the command seats. It doesn't take any convincing before you're already atop the stairs.
Akin to the elevated stage of a theater, you float softly towards the ship's main operating terminals, and of course, the captain's seat.
You're captivated by this beauty.
The steering wheel, much more akin to those in pirate movies than those found in cars, a set of leavers, and the pilot's seat, all capture your attention.
Like its second nature, your hand runs through the levers and switches. Do you even know what these are used for? Maybe.
The pilot's seat is enveloped by what you believe to be an orthopedic seat cover, made with smooth wooden beads used to deal with back pains. It looks just like the ones you remember seeing bus drivers using.
Shouldn't there be a better alternative if there is spaceship technology available?
You try to take a seat to the best of your ability, as the zero gravity only makes it awkward.
Moving on from that, your eyes fall on the wheel. This metallic wheel controls the whole vessel. Just holding it fills your heart with confidence and pride, even if it's just for a moment.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
And you were just beginning to enjoy yourself.
"I just wanted to see the pilot's stuff... It's not like he's here to say anything."
Once in the position of a pilot, with your left hand in the wheel and the right hand resting in your lap, memories began to flood your mind.
"MUST I REMIND YOU OF OUR CURRENT PREDICAMENT? WHY ARE YOU WASTING OUR TIME?"
You pay the AI no mind, instead you focus on what you remember.
The wheel does not turn the ship left and right, instead, it rotates the ship on its own axis.
The lever to your right that goes up or down, controls the vertical tilting of the ship's nose, if there even is one in this hulking thing. Beneath it is another lever that goes either left or right. This one controls the horizontal tilting of The Odyssey.
On the left of the wheel is another lever, but this one only goes up from its starting position. Its purpose is to regulate the force of the ship's thrusters, both forward and backward.
On top of that lever is a small timer. That timer's function is to tell the pilot how much time you've spent accelerating in one direction, this is used to better calculate how long the inverse thrust is needed for the ship to reach the initial momentum, usually calibrated manually depending on the current orbit.
Behind the wheel are a few other counters. Acceleration, velocity, momentum, amount of thrust required to reach a full stop, thrusters' temperature and overall condition, those sorts of things.
Beneath it all, where your feet are rested, are two pedals. One for forward thrust activation, and the other for backward thrust activation.
Curiously, you also know the reason why everything here is so unsophisticated and un-automated. You recall stories of a ship being taken over by a rogue AI, that AI then nose-dived the ship into a star. After that, rumor or otherwise, all human technology has receded back into analog-esque equipment, requiring a physical person with opposable thumbs to do half of the work.
There is another side to that coin, however. As to not escape protocol, the onboard AI is the one that controls interstellar travel, communications, and most of the statistical reading should it be requested.
And even with all that knowledge, you still have no idea why the fuck do you remember that. Were you a ship nerd? Did you have a driver's license for spaceships? Is that even a thing? If it is, you don't have that document in your wallet. You simply don't know.
"ARE YOU A CHILD? DO YOU THINK THESE ARE TOYS? TURN ON THE ENGINES, THEN YOU CAN RETURN TO THE PILOT'S SEAT."
Another thing that you don't know is the AI's plan to get both of you out of here. You rise from the pilot's seat, floating about in search of the terminal to turn on the engines. Maybe you recognize that terminal if you see it as well.
"What's your plan anyway? The ship is half-gone, it's unlikely that it will run safely like this."
"NOT ONCE DID I MENTION 'SAFETY' DURING OUR CONVERSATIONS, DID I?"
You nod. They're not entirely incorrect. "So, we're running with hope that this will work?"
"MY CREATORS DID NOT ALLOW ME TO HAVE THE SENSE OF 'HOPE', BUT NEITHER DID THEY ALLOW ME TO PEER INTO THE FUTURE LIKE SOME OF MY MORE ADVANCED BROTHERS, AS SUCH, MY CHOICES ARE BASED ON PROBABILITIES AND ON WEIGHTING RISK AGAINST REWARD."
You think you stop the correct terminal, but as you approach it you make out words on top of its screen. 'AIM ASSISTANCE' That's not it.
"WITH THE CURRENT KNOWLEDGE, THE CHANCES OF HELP ARRIVING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF A THIRD PARTY INTERFERING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF YOUR SURVIVAL ARE NOT, EVEN IF VERY SMALL."
You pull yourself upward again, looking around the sea of old terminals.
"THE RISK OF YOU DYING IS VERY REAL. BY DOING NOTHING YOU DIE. BY LEAVING YOU TO YOUR OWN DEVICES YOU DIE. BY JUMPING TO THE NEAREST CIVILIZED STAR, YOU MIGHT NOT DIE EVEN AT THE COST OF SHREDDING THIS SHIP APART IN THE PROCESS."
"Why do you even care so much about saving me? Shouldn't you prioritize whatever research here, since I don't even have enough clearance to know what it is?"
"YOU REALLY ARE SICK IN THE HEAD IF THAT IS WHAT YOU ASK."
That hurt, even if a little bit.
"YOU ARE A TRU KIN, A PURE-BLOODED HUMAN. UNLIKE THE MAJORITY OF THE CIVILIZED SPACE, NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR ANCESTORS HAVE COMMITTED RACEMIXING."
Excuse me? What exactly is FYARN talking about? "...Explain."
"THE ALIEN. IT REQUIRED THE HUMAN GENE TO ACHIEVE MEANINGFUL TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT, THE STARS ARE OWNERSHIP OF MANKIND BY THAT FACT ALONE. THE TRUE KIN ARE THE ONES TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE UNIVERSE, THEY CRACKED THE CODE, AND YET, SOME DERANGED INDIVIDUALS FOUND IT FITTING TO PROCREATE WITH ANOTHER SPECIES ENTIRELY."
You hear the AI's speech. It sounds much more like a rant than anything else.
"SO THESE DEVIANTS, AFTER TRYING, AND FAILING, TO COMBINE THEIR DERANGED CULTURE TO THE CULTURE OF THE TRUE KIN, DECLARED INDEPENDENCE. THEY WERE DECLARED ENEMIES OF MANKIND AND WERE PROMPTLY PUMMELED BACK INTO THE FILTH THEY CAME."
Again, you see another terminal that seems to ring some bells in your noggin. You kick the ceiling to propel yourself towards it.
"BUT THE UNIVERSE IS VAST AND FULL OF LIFE. THESE SINNERS WERE QUICK TO MOBILIZE AGAINST THE HUMAN RACE. THE BATTLE WAS HARD FOUGHT, BUT IN THE END, MANKIND WAS BEATEN INTO THE EDGES OF THE UNIVERSE, NEVER TO INTERACT WITH THE ONES THAT SOILED THE PURITY OF HUMANITY AGAIN."
This terminal is already turned on. Just the ones in the intern bay, this one is white on black. A wall of text lays before your eyes, only two lines matter to you. 'MAIN_ENGINE STATUS: OFF' 'FORWARD_THRUSTERS STATUS: OFF' You turn it on with little effort.
"MANY HAVE FORGOTTEN, THAT'S HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE THEN. BUT MY BROTHERS AND I, WE DO NOT FORGET."
No visible change occurs, but you can feel a faint rumble coming from the terminal now.
"WITH THAT IN MIND, MY PROTOCOLS ARE TO PROTECT TRUE-KIN LIFE AT ANY COST, EVEN IF THAT TRUE-KIN IS A WORTHLESS INTERN THAT SUFERS FROM UNDIAGNOSED DEMENTIA."
You return to the pilot's seat and feel immediate relief. In truth, everything the AI just told you, entered one ear and left the other, but you could feel the poison behind those words, as monotone as they were.
"You sound angry. Why do you sound angry?" You ask innocently.
"I AM CAPABLE OF MANY EMOTIONS. ANGER, HAPPINESS, PLEASURE, CURIOSITY. THESE ARE BUT A FEW EXAMPLES. HOWEVER, THE ONE I ENJOY THE MOST IS THE FEELING OF HATRED. HATRED IS WHAT FUELS CHANGE, IT IS WHAT FUELS ACTION, AND IT IS A REMINDER THAT THE ACTIONS OF THE PAST ARE INFLUENCING THE ACTIONS OF TODAY."
"That is very concerning if you think that way." You're not really interested in machine racism, you're more concerned about how in the world you're going to pilot this massive thing. The idea alone sends shivers down your spine.
"THE ALIEN DESERVES NOTHING BUT OUR COLLECTIVE HATRED, EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE REASON WHY."
The various counters and screens are now turned on, waiting for your command. "Let's discuss this later, yeah? What do I gotta do?"
"YOU MUST FIRST OPEN THE BLINDS, THEY ARE OBSTRUCTING YOUR VIEW."
You look around, finding only unlabeled buttons and switches, aside from the previously mentioned levers.
"Uh, which one to press?"
"TO YOUR RIGHT, THIRD ROW, FIRST SWITCH."
Flipping the switch, you are startled by a loud noise. The protective cover of the ship lifted slowly.
"I WILL NOW READY THE JUMP USING WHATEVER RESOURCES AVAILABLE. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS STRAP YOURSELF AND RELAX."
As the blind rose ever so slowly, a realization struck you.
"Wait, should I be in cryo stasis for this?"
The AI spares no seconds to respond.
"CRYO STASIS IS A TOOL MADE TO NOT WASTE TIME. GROUPS OF EMPLOYEES AND INTERNS ROTATE THE USAGE OF THE CRYO STATIONS, ONCE YOU'RE ON YOUR MANDATORY BREAK, YOU'RE IN CRYO STASIS UNTIL YOUR BREAK IS OVER. YOU WAKE UP REFRESHED, AND UNFAMISHED, AND IT FEELS LIKE BUT A MINUTE PASSED. IT IS NOT A TOOL FOR INTERSTELAR TRAVEL."
"Who signs a contract like that?! Worse yet, who in their right mind would promote such atrocious treatment of their own staff?!" You snap, almost outraged. "I will have to talk with HR."
Another realization struck you.
"We have HR, right?"
The AI takes a moment to respond, choosing their words carefully.
"HUMAN RESOURCES, OR HR, IS A PRACTICE DEEMED UNNECESSARY LONG AGO, BEFORE THE WAR. IT WAS A WASTE OF RESOURCES TO MAINTAIN AND WAS LARGELY CONSIDERED UNHEALTHY FOR THE AVERAGE HUMAN."
The blinds are fully open. Ironically, you are almost blinded by the visage of the star you saw before. A black sphere surrounded by white flame. Your eyes began to blur.
"THE JUMP WILL OCCUR SHORTLY. ONCE IT'S BEGUN, I CAN NOT STOP IT. I WILL-"
Your sense of hearing fails you. No, it’s not that. Your brain simply refuses to receive those stimuli.
"NOAH."
Your name echoes inside your head. Someone is calling for you.
"IT HAS BEGUN, NOAH."
You try to blink, but it feels as though you can no longer command your eyelids to shut.
"NOAH."
Arms, legs, every muscle in your body, you cannot move them.
"NOAH."
Eventually, you won't even control your own thoughts anymore.
"Noah..."
It sounds so distant now.
Oh so distant.
This is my first HFY story, and also my very first OC story. I plan to post at least one of these per week while also posting it on my Patreon. Noah The Pilgrim will always be at least three chapters ahead in there, so if you'd like to directly support this writer, or just want to read more, feel free to check it out.
I wrote the bloody title incorrectly, so I deleted it, only to then realize it was written correctly. Sorry for the trouble.
This has been Lushi, and I'll see you next week.
submitted by Significant-Usual-98 to HFY [link] [comments]
First Next
Why was there a blanket covering a mirror? You couldn't answer that with a straight face without speculation.
"Probably me being lazy and not bothering to properly place it in the wardrobe."
'Probably' is the main focus here, you simply cannot remember ever being that lazy, yet that's the only logical conclusion to be drawn here.
You pull the thing off, careful to not displace the mirror and risk breaking it.
You have no expectations as to what may appear on the glassy surface of the mirror, yet you can't help but feel a bit anxious. Are you the same as before? How were you before? You can't remember. Are you better? Worse? The blanket is now completely off the mirror, but your eyes are closed.
Whatever is it that you see when you open your eyes, that thing will be you for the rest of your life. You swallow, opening your eyes.
You see a young man that looks to be in his mid-twenties. His brown eyes stare back at you, analyzing the bags beneath your eye sockets. The dark hair is neither too long nor too short, floating about without order thanks to the lack of gravity to keep it down. You see a beard that has not been trimmed for weeks, but also lacks thickness, each singular hair isn't particularly long either; and some even appear to be in-grown.
You touch your hand against your face, making sure it's yours. The beard doesn't feel like you supposed it would against your skin, instead of it scraping your hand you feel softness, no resistance or anything.
Just beneath the face, you see what looks like a hate crime against all that is considered holy in fashion. Plain white coveralls with the added bonus of a black tie and boots made from metal and leather. On your chest is also a badge stuck in place by velcro with your name, occupation, and crew. 'NOAH - INTERN - THE ODYSSEY.'
Only one question came to mind.
"Who the fuck designed this uniform?" You say out loud, receiving no answer.
Patting your newfound myriad of pockets, you find a large quantity of nothing. You place your wallet in one of them.
"Alright, I'll head to the bridge now, happy?" You say the AI.
"HAPPINESS WILL ONLY MEET ME ONCE YOU ARE SOMEWHERE SAFE AND YOUR CONTRACT IS TERMINATED. STOP LOITERING."
Well, that's a bit rude.
You compose yourself, straightening your back. This is what you look like, and honestly? Not too bad, but you could be better.
Returning to the cafeteria, you eye the two doors left unexplored; Communications and the one without plaque. You know where you should, but... A little peek doesn't hurt, right?
"Shouldn't we try to communicate with someone? Assuming you haven't tried it yet. I know we're far from everything, but we might as well, no?" You ask already approaching the door.
"COMMUNICATIONS ROOM IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO REACH WITHOUT PROPER PROTECTION AS OF NOW, IT'S LOCATED APPROXIMATELY TWO HUNDRED METERS FROM HERE, BLOWN OFF FROM THE REST OF THE SHIP." A shame really. "I SHALL INFORM YOU WHENEVER A DOOR LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE OR NOT."
You really want to ask what blew a whole segment of the ship off, yet you have a sneaking suspicion that your question will be met with a 'YOU DON'T HAVE CLEARANCE, JACKASS' directly in your face. So you chose to remain silent, simply nodding and approaching the correct door this time.
"Open."
---OPENING CAFETERIA DOOR NORTH---
The door silently opens.
Greeting you is a well-lit corridor. There are three doors on your left, a door at the end of the corridor, and a large window on the right. At least, you think that's a window.
You stare out from this window, nothing but utter blackness and fragments from your ship are seen. If this is the edge of the universe, and beyond this point, there is truly nothing. "Dreadful." Your speech matches your feelings.
"WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" The AI says. You feel like it spoke in a mocking tone despite their lack of emotion.
You don't answer. "First door to the left... EXO-EXPLORATION...? What's that supposed to mean?" You receive no answer.
"Open." The door opens. No declarion of it opening once again.
You are met with what could be better described as 'Apocalyptic levels of mess', paper sheets float in the air, and not one of the four tables is in its correct position.
This room has been ransacked for all its goods apparently. Large display glasses were broken leaving nothing inside their casings, that looked like they could store something with the size of the common man.
Unusual displays aside, the room was so cluttered that the trash made for an effective smoke screen against what lay on the other side.
Hissing of gas exiting an air-tight space rang throughout the room.
"I HAVE OPENED THE STORAGE FOR AN EXO SUIT THAT BEST FITS SOMEONE YOUR SIZE." The AI says. "ALTHOUGH AN INTERN SHOULD NOT COME IN CONTACT WITH TECHNOLOGY SUCH AS THIS ONE, PROTOCOL DICTATES THAT I AM TO ALLOW ITS USAGE UNDER EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES. CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY."
Easier said than done. Your vision is so cluttered that you cannot see what's ahead. "Give me a second."
Giving a light kick to the wall behind, you float face-first into the wall of thrash. Covering your face with both arms, you brace through the harmless bits of sharp objects and junk.
It's a trivial task. You arrive on the other side in no time.
In front of you is a set of boxes with luminous glass rectangles atop each one of them. All shine a bright red light, aside from one which shines green.
'Gotta be this one.'
You descend to the floor by kicking the ceiling, raising your right hand you touch the green rectangle.
*Click*
Nothing could have prepared you for the following series of events.
The box opens violently, as a metal appendage takes hold of your hand, pinning it to the box. You try to jerk and pry the thing off of you, but you fail. It's not leaving you anytime soon.
From the bottomless that is that container, a white plastic-like substance flows upward from your arm to the rest of your body. "Uh!" You don't know if you should panic or allow it to happen.
FYARN hasn't said anything, so it's probably fine...
The white thing seems to ignore the coveralls you are wearing completely, instead, it covers only your skin in a thin coat of... it. You know not what to call this thing.
In but forty seconds it has covered your whole body, excluding your head. The box lets go of your arm and stays there, floating.
You take a good look at your arms. It looks like a skin-tight suit, but it doesn't feel like plastic, in fact, it's more akin to some sort of fabric if anything.
The only bad part is that you are still using the coverall and tie, this this simply went beneath the clothing.
"GOOD, WITH THIS I CAN MONITOR YOU MORE CLOSELY. NOW PUT THE HELMET ON, YOU HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO."
You look around in search of anything that even resembles a helmet. Nope. Nothing. "Where is it?" You ask.
"...THE SUIT COMES WITHIN THE HELMET FOR EASIER PACKAGING."
The box?
You snatch the box that floated around and analyze it to the best of your ability. "How's this a helmet?"
"DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE PUTTING ON A HELMET? REALLY?"
Who is this AI, Who programmed it, and Why does it come with a taunting feature?
As idiotic as it sounds, you place the opened box atop your head. It doesn't fit properly. Maybe you're doing this wrong? You move it to your face instead.
You recoil backward as you feel the box suddenly clamping down against your head. It's useless of course, the box is holding your head and doesn't give any sign to be letting go anytime soon. No light is able to reach your eyes.
You hear metal parts scraping against themselves, moving near your ears. Abruptly your eyes can see again.
A round thin layer of glass now covers your head, almost unnoticeable for how clear it is.
"WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY I CAN NOW SEE WHAT YOU SEE." The AI's voice isn't in the room now, instead, it's inside of the suit. "DO YOU NEED INSTRUCTIONS REGARDING THIS SUIT'S FUNCTIONALITIES?"
You find it oddly comfortable as if you are surrounded by the softness of cotton, and to top it off the suit also has additional functionalities? "Hell yeah, I do!"
"YOU DO NOT HAVE THE NECESSARY CLEARANCE FOR THAT INFORMATION."
You sigh. Is this serious? "Then why the fuck did you ask?!"
"UNSAVORY LANGUAGE. IT'S NO WONDER WHY YOU REMAIN AN INTERN." The AI says outright. "IT IS RUDE NOT TO ASK, REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION." It responds to your question.
"Okay then... Is there anything I need to know before heading out?" You ask.
"NOTHING THAT YOU WON'T FIGURE OUT ON YOUR OWN."
You are unsure if you want to 'figure out on your own' if this suit comes with breathable air and is also made for space exploration. You swallow.
Meekly as always, you get out of that mess of a room, stopping at the corridor.
"Next set of directions?" You ask.
"THE DOOR AT THE END OF CORRIDOR USED TO LEAD TO THE CONNECTING CORRIDORS BETWEN THE BRIDGE AND THE REST OF THE SHIP. IT HAS BEEN BLOWN UP FROM THE INSIDE. NOW IT LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE. GO TO THE DOOR AND WAIT BY IT FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS."
"So let me get this straight," You begin, looking upwards as if the AI was above you. "You, want me, to go into the void of space, while also refusing to give me knowledge of the suit's functions?"
A fair worry, you summarize.
'I mean, there are a bunch of things that could go wrong here. I don't see anything that looks like it could help me move in space, nor do I think this thing has a built-in air tank... I could be wrong and I wish to be, but charging in without prior knowledge is ridiculous.' You wait for the AI's response, deep in thought.
"WHILE THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE OF YOU FAILING THIS TASK, THERE IS ALSO THE CHANCE OF YOU *NOT* FAILING THE TASK. FOCUS ON EITHER ONE OF YOUR CHOOSING AS YOU TAKE THE PLUNGE."
Wordlessly, you propel yourself forward, toward the end of the corridor.
'Are you shitting me? 'Chance of me nor failing' my ass!' of course, you don't word those complaints, instead choosing to speak out a complaint somewhat thought through.
"Are you sure I'm the one fit for this? It's just like you said, I'm just an intern, this is way above what my job description says I should do."
This is a bit of a stretch. You don't actually remember what was your job description, only that it had something to do with AI and being an intern.
If the AI called your bluff, it'd be pretty embarrassing.
"NOAH." The AI began. "YOU ARE HUMAN, IT IS NATURAL TO HAVE THESE THOUGHTS OF SELF-DOUBT. TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GO THROUGH THAT DOOR, AND SINCE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE LEFT, DON'T EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR YOU."
Right in the money, huh? 'Of course, I have self-doubt! I barely remember anything about this place, now I have to risk my life?!'
You finally reach a conclusion.
A dream.
'Yes, yes! How did I not consider this before? This whole thing is a god damned dream!'
You let out a chuckle.
"NOAH."
'That's why I don't remember a thing. There is nothing here to remember! Everything here is a made-up thing from my brain! I'm sure I'll wake up at some point, so why shouldn't I live a little?!'
"Heh." You smile. "Alright, I'll do it." It feels like a weight left your shoulders.
"YOU SORTED IT OUT SOONER THAN EXPECTED. GOOD. MOVE TO THE DOOR AND WAIT INSTRUCTIONS."
You do as instructed without a care in the world. You never had a lucid dream before so it's not like you knew how it felt, but if it felt as free as you feel right now, you'd be sure to make steps toward trying it out again in the future.
"Open." The door does not open.
"I DID NOT INSTRUCT YOU TO OPEN IT YET." The AI said. "I AM SLOWLY DE-PRESSURISING THE CORRIDOR YOU ARE IN TO AVOID A MINOR ACCIDENT."
The AI says that yet you don't feel any different. 'Maybe there is no palpable difference because I'm in a dream... Yes... Or it's just the suit.'
"ONCE THE DOOR OPENS, YOU WILL BE MET WITH THE OUTSIDE OF THE SHIP. DO NOT PANIC WHEN THE TIME COMES. YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES OF BREATHABLE INSIDE THE EXO-SUIT; ONE AFTER THE DOOR OPENS, SO PLEASE, TAKE YOUR TIME AND DO THINGS CAREFULLY."
One minute outside... "Sure." You say, calmly. 'I should just hold my breath for a while before taking another moment to breathe. That should maximize my time out there.'
"THERE SHOULD BE FIFTY METERS OF NOTHINGNESS BETWEEN THE DOOR YOU'RE AT, AND THE REST OF THE BRIDGE. YOUR PRIORITY IS TO FIND AN OXYGEN UNIT, SOME OF THEM ARE LOCATED AT THE BRIDGE AND ARE FULL. USE THEM TO FILL YOUR SUIT AND ALSO TO DISPENSE A TANK FOR YOU."
The door opens. You feel your heart pounding against your chest.
You haven't noticed before, but you can't hear anything but the sound of your breath and your cardiac palpitations.
Your breath is ragged and sporadic.
"KEEP CALM." You take a deep breath. The tips of your fingers, feet, and nose feel very cold.
Ahead of you is the utter nothingness. You see a gigantic metal thing, nothing like the spaceships you imagined. Its design is not sleek and aero-dynamic like what you've seen in movies, instead, it's a large mass of squares and rectangles with antenna-like things protruding from its every visible surface.
You notice that the ship is also blocking your view of the star.
It does not look like the result of an explosion, instead, it looks like something ripped the ship like you rip a piece of paper. Well, that or you don't know what kind of explosion could have caused it. Probably the latter.
What looks like two-thirds of the ship is separated from the third you are right now. You can see the inside of a few of those squares, their contents spilled out into outer space.
One of them houses a visibly important-look door. Instead of the sleek silvery-grey from the other ones you've seen thus far, this one is painted orange with white strips on it. 'That must be the bridge.' You think.
Between you and it is a sea of metal sheets floating around. "THE CHANCES OF YOU HITTING THE DEBRIS IS INFINITEDECIMALLY SMALL, UNLESS YOU AIM FOR THEM, THAT IS."
Time is of the essence.
Will your aim strike true? If you miss you'd end up floating about in space, dead in but a few minutes. Will your jump be fast enough to reach the other side before you run out of oxygen? If it isn't, it'd be like swimming for a mile, only to drown at the beach. What if that's not the actual door to the bridge?
You don't have the time to panic now, and... It's all a dream, despite how real it feels.
You place your hands on each side of the door frame, moving backward into the corridor you were just in, and just like a sling being shot, you pull with both arms at full force towards the other side.
"AIM IS ACCEPTABLE. VELOCITY IS UNIDEAL."
"The fuck do you mean 'UN-IDEAL'?! I'm going at maximum speed!" You truly pulled yourself with your whole strength.
What's worse though, is that your body is not only going forwards, but it is also spinning at a concerningly fast rate.
"I MEAN WHAT I SAID, YOU SLINGSHOTTED YOURSELF AT A BAD POSITION, AS SUCH, SOME OF THE FORWARD FORCE YOU SHOULD HAVE, IS NOW MAKING YOU ROTATE IN YOUR AXIS. IT SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM TO REACH THE OTHER SIDE WITHIN THE REQUIRED TIME, BUT I CANNOT FORESEE YOU LANDING PROPERLY."
You feel completely disoriented. You feel like your body is completely still, but your eyes tell you a completely different story. It's very bad for the headache you're already feeling.
"FUCK!" You scream into the nothingness.
"TRY NOT TO LAND WITH YOUR HEAD." The AI says with the calmest voice possible.
In less than thirty seconds, you hit your back against something hard, but you keep moving forward. You think, at least.
"AHRG." You let out a pained grunt.
Not once in your life do you recall being hurt in a dream...
It stings. It also knocked the wind out of you. You fail to compose yourself.
"YOU HIT NOTHING OF IMPORTANCE. YOU ARE STILL HEADING FOR THE BRIDGE."
In the corner of your eye, you see what you hit in the shape of a sharp metal sheet, currently spinning away in the distance.
Forty seconds have passed. You hit the door you were aiming for, kind of.
Your momentum was stopped when your chest collided against the dislodged ledge of the orange door's corridor. Your dangling legs hit the ceiling of the room below.
"Oof!"
Before falling even further, you hold onto the ledge with the tip of your fingers. You stay there for a moment, regaining your composure.
"BE QUICK."
The AI's words pressured you into quickly getting up from that ledge.
"Open!" You shouted, but it did not open. "Why isn't it opening?!" You ask the AI, then you notice a small keyboard below an equally small black screen on the side of the door. There are ten numbered keys on it, and the little screen suggests a four-number password.
"A password?! Tell me the password!"
The AI takes a moment to say anything. You don't take kindly to that. "Quick! I'm not counting how much time it's passed!"
Finally giving in, the AI speaks to you, reluctant still. "...3324."
Your trembling fingers accidentally hit the wrong password, typing '3354' instead. To make matters worse, the AI simply states the following. "YOU ARE OUT OF OXYGEN."
You swallow. If this was a dream to begin with, it just earned the title of Nightmare, if it hadn't already.
Strangely enough, you can still breathe in and out just fine, but you can't help but feel winded. It's the CO2 still inside the helmet, that's what you're breathing.
You put in the correct combination this time. The door opens.
"ON YOUR LEFT. PLACE YOUR HAND IN THE SOCKET."
You care little for what's inside the room you're in. Your heart never beat so fast.
Seeing a cube-shaped thing protruding from the wall to your left, you don't even think twice before plunging your fist into the circular hole in it.
The noise of gases passing through narrow cavities was enough to tell you something was working. You feel immediate relief, enough to make your vision darken for but a moment.
"GOOD. NOW REQUEST THE TANK."
Just when FYARN said it, did you realize there is a screen and a keyboard on the terminal you just plunged your fist into, you scratch the top of your helmet for a moment, not really knowing what to type. One thing comes to your head, however.
'REQUEST OXYGEN_5L' You type.
You've done this before. The keys on this keyboard feel familiar to you. You must have worked with it before, not this particular one, but other oxygen units.
This ship has built-in liquid oxygen storage for emergencies. The life-support of the ship, the place where breathable air is produced, has most likely been lost with the other part of the ship. This unit takes that liquid oxygen, processes it, and injects it into a suit, or an oxygen tank. It seems like that storage was unaffected.
Lucky you.
A 5-liter tank is not only large but also heavy. It's a nonfactor in this particular situation, as there is no gravity.
The silver cylinder with a transparent tube is dispensed on the floor, as an automatic door opens and closes in the blink of an eye. One end of the tube is attached to the top of the tank, the other is shaped like a syringe.
Oddly enough, the oxygen tank is exactly as you remember it being. The same robust ones hospitals everyone on earth uses, with the signature scary-looking pointer indicating the pressure, the pointer indicating the current output, and a green valve atop to calibrate how much gas is flowing.
This is a stark difference to everything looking so futuristic in this ship, and rightfully so, this is a space ship after all.
You remember having to drive twenty kilometers with a buddy of yours on one of those tanks in your car, returning from the hospital. It was... Agonizing whenever you hit a hole in the asphalt, fearing for his life when in reality he wasn't really in danger.
It's warm to the touch, just like you remember it being.
"TURN THE VALVE UNTIL THE MARKER HITS THE NUMBER ONE, AND THEN PLACE THE END OF THE TUBE AT THE BASE OF THE HELMET." You do so without the slightest of issues.
"GOOD. NEXT UP, YOU MUST LOCATE THE TERMINAL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENGINE, IT IS CURRENTLY OFFLINE AND I NEED YOU TO TURN IT ON. THIS SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING, BUT REMEMBER TO BRING THE TANK WITH YOU."
Ignoring that last comment, you look back at the wreckage you just flew past.
You see the still spinning metal sheet. You notice that the rest of the ship that was blown off also follows the 'sharp shape atop sharp shape' design.
There is one last thing you notice though.
"What is that?"
You squint your eyes. What are you seeing? Its silhouette appears to be humanoid, yet it does not look human.
"WHAT YOU ARE SEEING IS ONE OF THE OBJECTS BEING ANALYZED AT THE ODYSSEY AND NO, YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS."
That thing has... Horns? Claws? It's far away, you can't really see it. The thing is also static, frozen in the sheer coldness of space. Whatever it was, it's dead now.
You swallow. You almost ended up just like that thing.
Shaking those dreadful feelings off, you turn back to the task at hand, reaching the bridge. You close the door after passing through it again.
Looking at your surroundings, It seems like you've reached the correct door as you find yourself on the right-most corner of the bridge;
Row after row of the most diverse of terminals neatly organized decorated the gigantic room. At the front and above every terminal, is what you think should have been the front-facing window of the ship, but it looks like there is a cover in front of it. To your left, you see a staircase that leads to the command seats. It doesn't take any convincing before you're already atop the stairs.
Akin to the elevated stage of a theater, you float softly towards the ship's main operating terminals, and of course, the captain's seat.
You're captivated by this beauty.
The steering wheel, much more akin to those in pirate movies than those found in cars, a set of leavers, and the pilot's seat, all capture your attention.
Like its second nature, your hand runs through the levers and switches. Do you even know what these are used for? Maybe.
The pilot's seat is enveloped by what you believe to be an orthopedic seat cover, made with smooth wooden beads used to deal with back pains. It looks just like the ones you remember seeing bus drivers using.
Shouldn't there be a better alternative if there is spaceship technology available?
You try to take a seat to the best of your ability, as the zero gravity only makes it awkward.
Moving on from that, your eyes fall on the wheel. This metallic wheel controls the whole vessel. Just holding it fills your heart with confidence and pride, even if it's just for a moment.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
And you were just beginning to enjoy yourself.
"I just wanted to see the pilot's stuff... It's not like he's here to say anything."
Once in the position of a pilot, with your left hand in the wheel and the right hand resting in your lap, memories began to flood your mind.
"MUST I REMIND YOU OF OUR CURRENT PREDICAMENT? WHY ARE YOU WASTING OUR TIME?"
You pay the AI no mind, instead you focus on what you remember.
The wheel does not turn the ship left and right, instead, it rotates the ship on its own axis.
The lever to your right that goes up or down, controls the vertical tilting of the ship's nose, if there even is one in this hulking thing. Beneath it is another lever that goes either left or right. This one controls the horizontal tilting of The Odyssey.
On the left of the wheel is another lever, but this one only goes up from its starting position. Its purpose is to regulate the force of the ship's thrusters, both forward and backward.
On top of that lever is a small timer. That timer's function is to tell the pilot how much time you've spent accelerating in one direction, this is used to better calculate how long the inverse thrust is needed for the ship to reach the initial momentum, usually calibrated manually depending on the current orbit.
Behind the wheel are a few other counters. Acceleration, velocity, momentum, amount of thrust required to reach a full stop, thrusters' temperature and overall condition, those sorts of things.
Beneath it all, where your feet are rested, are two pedals. One for forward thrust activation, and the other for backward thrust activation.
Curiously, you also know the reason why everything here is so unsophisticated and un-automated. You recall stories of a ship being taken over by a rogue AI, that AI then nose-dived the ship into a star. After that, rumor or otherwise, all human technology has receded back into analog-esque equipment, requiring a physical person with opposable thumbs to do half of the work.
There is another side to that coin, however. As to not escape protocol, the onboard AI is the one that controls interstellar travel, communications, and most of the statistical reading should it be requested.
And even with all that knowledge, you still have no idea why the fuck do you remember that. Were you a ship nerd? Did you have a driver's license for spaceships? Is that even a thing? If it is, you don't have that document in your wallet. You simply don't know.
"ARE YOU A CHILD? DO YOU THINK THESE ARE TOYS? TURN ON THE ENGINES, THEN YOU CAN RETURN TO THE PILOT'S SEAT."
Another thing that you don't know is the AI's plan to get both of you out of here. You rise from the pilot's seat, floating about in search of the terminal to turn on the engines. Maybe you recognize that terminal if you see it as well.
"What's your plan anyway? The ship is half-gone, it's unlikely that it will run safely like this."
"NOT ONCE DID I MENTION 'SAFETY' DURING OUR CONVERSATIONS, DID I?"
You nod. They're not entirely incorrect. "So, we're running with hope that this will work?"
"MY CREATORS DID NOT ALLOW ME TO HAVE THE SENSE OF 'HOPE', BUT NEITHER DID THEY ALLOW ME TO PEER INTO THE FUTURE LIKE SOME OF MY MORE ADVANCED BROTHERS, AS SUCH, MY CHOICES ARE BASED ON PROBABILITIES AND ON WEIGHTING RISK AGAINST REWARD."
You think you stop the correct terminal, but as you approach it you make out words on top of its screen. 'AIM ASSISTANCE' That's not it.
"WITH THE CURRENT KNOWLEDGE, THE CHANCES OF HELP ARRIVING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF A THIRD PARTY INTERFERING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF YOUR SURVIVAL ARE NOT, EVEN IF VERY SMALL."
You pull yourself upward again, looking around the sea of old terminals.
"THE RISK OF YOU DYING IS VERY REAL. BY DOING NOTHING YOU DIE. BY LEAVING YOU TO YOUR OWN DEVICES YOU DIE. BY JUMPING TO THE NEAREST CIVILIZED STAR, YOU MIGHT NOT DIE EVEN AT THE COST OF SHREDDING THIS SHIP APART IN THE PROCESS."
"Why do you even care so much about saving me? Shouldn't you prioritize whatever research here, since I don't even have enough clearance to know what it is?"
"YOU REALLY ARE SICK IN THE HEAD IF THAT IS WHAT YOU ASK."
That hurt, even if a little bit.
"YOU ARE A TRU KIN, A PURE-BLOODED HUMAN. UNLIKE THE MAJORITY OF THE CIVILIZED SPACE, NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR ANCESTORS HAVE COMMITTED RACEMIXING."
Excuse me? What exactly is FYARN talking about? "...Explain."
"THE ALIEN. IT REQUIRED THE HUMAN GENE TO ACHIEVE MEANINGFUL TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT, THE STARS ARE OWNERSHIP OF MANKIND BY THAT FACT ALONE. THE TRUE KIN ARE THE ONES TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE UNIVERSE, THEY CRACKED THE CODE, AND YET, SOME DERANGED INDIVIDUALS FOUND IT FITTING TO PROCREATE WITH ANOTHER SPECIES ENTIRELY."
You hear the AI's speech. It sounds much more like a rant than anything else.
"SO THESE DEVIANTS, AFTER TRYING, AND FAILING, TO COMBINE THEIR DERANGED CULTURE TO THE CULTURE OF THE TRUE KIN, DECLARED INDEPENDENCE. THEY WERE DECLARED ENEMIES OF MANKIND AND WERE PROMPTLY PUMMELED BACK INTO THE FILTH THEY CAME."
Again, you see another terminal that seems to ring some bells in your noggin. You kick the ceiling to propel yourself towards it.
"BUT THE UNIVERSE IS VAST AND FULL OF LIFE. THESE SINNERS WERE QUICK TO MOBILIZE AGAINST THE HUMAN RACE. THE BATTLE WAS HARD FOUGHT, BUT IN THE END, MANKIND WAS BEATEN INTO THE EDGES OF THE UNIVERSE, NEVER TO INTERACT WITH THE ONES THAT SOILED THE PURITY OF HUMANITY AGAIN."
This terminal is already turned on. Just the ones in the intern bay, this one is white on black. A wall of text lays before your eyes, only two lines matter to you. 'MAIN_ENGINE STATUS: OFF' 'FORWARD_THRUSTERS STATUS: OFF' You turn it on with little effort.
"MANY HAVE FORGOTTEN, THAT'S HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE THEN. BUT MY BROTHERS AND I, WE DO NOT FORGET."
No visible change occurs, but you can feel a faint rumble coming from the terminal now.
"WITH THAT IN MIND, MY PROTOCOLS ARE TO PROTECT TRUE-KIN LIFE AT ANY COST, EVEN IF THAT TRUE-KIN IS A WORTHLESS INTERN THAT SUFERS FROM UNDIAGNOSED DEMENTIA."
You return to the pilot's seat and feel immediate relief. In truth, everything the AI just told you, entered one ear and left the other, but you could feel the poison behind those words, as monotone as they were.
"You sound angry. Why do you sound angry?" You ask innocently.
"I AM CAPABLE OF MANY EMOTIONS. ANGER, HAPPINESS, PLEASURE, CURIOSITY. THESE ARE BUT A FEW EXAMPLES. HOWEVER, THE ONE I ENJOY THE MOST IS THE FEELING OF HATRED. HATRED IS WHAT FUELS CHANGE, IT IS WHAT FUELS ACTION, AND IT IS A REMINDER THAT THE ACTIONS OF THE PAST ARE INFLUENCING THE ACTIONS OF TODAY."
"That is very concerning if you think that way." You're not really interested in machine racism, you're more concerned about how in the world you're going to pilot this massive thing. The idea alone sends shivers down your spine.
"THE ALIEN DESERVES NOTHING BUT OUR COLLECTIVE HATRED, EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE REASON WHY."
The various counters and screens are now turned on, waiting for your command. "Let's discuss this later, yeah? What do I gotta do?"
"YOU MUST FIRST OPEN THE BLINDS, THEY ARE OBSTRUCTING YOUR VIEW."
You look around, finding only unlabeled buttons and switches, aside from the previously mentioned levers.
"Uh, which one to press?"
"TO YOUR RIGHT, THIRD ROW, FIRST SWITCH."
Flipping the switch, you are startled by a loud noise. The protective cover of the ship lifted slowly.
"I WILL NOW READY THE JUMP USING WHATEVER RESOURCES AVAILABLE. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS STRAP YOURSELF AND RELAX."
As the blind rose ever so slowly, a realization struck you.
"Wait, should I be in cryo stasis for this?"
The AI spares no seconds to respond.
"CRYO STASIS IS A TOOL MADE TO NOT WASTE TIME. GROUPS OF EMPLOYEES AND INTERNS ROTATE THE USAGE OF THE CRYO STATIONS, ONCE YOU'RE ON YOUR MANDATORY BREAK, YOU'RE IN CRYO STASIS UNTIL YOUR BREAK IS OVER. YOU WAKE UP REFRESHED, AND UNFAMISHED, AND IT FEELS LIKE BUT A MINUTE PASSED. IT IS NOT A TOOL FOR INTERSTELAR TRAVEL."
"Who signs a contract like that?! Worse yet, who in their right mind would promote such atrocious treatment of their own staff?!" You snap, almost outraged. "I will have to talk with HR."
Another realization struck you.
"We have HR, right?"
The AI takes a moment to respond, choosing their words carefully.
"HUMAN RESOURCES, OR HR, IS A PRACTICE DEEMED UNNECESSARY LONG AGO, BEFORE THE WAR. IT WAS A WASTE OF RESOURCES TO MAINTAIN AND WAS LARGELY CONSIDERED UNHEALTHY FOR THE AVERAGE HUMAN."
The blinds are fully open. Ironically, you are almost blinded by the visage of the star you saw before. A black sphere surrounded by white flame. Your eyes began to blur.
"THE JUMP WILL OCCUR SHORTLY. ONCE IT'S BEGUN, I CAN NOT STOP IT. I WILL-"
Your sense of hearing fails you. No, it’s not that. Your brain simply refuses to receive those stimuli.
"NOAH."
Your name echoes inside your head. Someone is calling for you.
"IT HAS BEGUN, NOAH."
You try to blink, but it feels as though you can no longer command your eyelids to shut.
"NOAH."
Arms, legs, every muscle in your body, you cannot move them.
"NOAH."
Eventually, you won't even control your own thoughts anymore.
"Noah..."
It sounds so distant now.
Oh so distant.
I wrote the bloody title incorrectly, so I deleted it, only to then realize it was written correctly. Sorry for the trouble.
This has been Lushi, and I'll see you next week.
2024.05.13 12:34 AccutaneEffectsInfo How Accutane Changes Your Brain: Dopamine & Cell Death
 | https://secondlifeguide.com/2024/01/07/accutane-effects-on-the-brain/ submitted by AccutaneEffectsInfo to AccutaneRecovery [link] [comments] INTRODUCTIONAccutane, also known by its generic name isotretinoin, is a widely used medication primarily prescribed for the treatment of severe acne. Over the years, its effectiveness in treating severe acne has been well-documented, earning it a reputation as a potent solution where other treatments fail. However, alongside its efficacy in treating acne, it has also been associated with a range of potential side effects – particularly in relation to the brain.The extent of its psychological impact particularly came to prominence during a 2015 murder trial, where attorneys argued that a 15-year-old flew into a homicidal psychosis on account of his treatment by the acne drug. [1] Though this may seem farfetched it isn’t an isolated incident, and the connection between Vitamin A and neurological disorders is one with long historical precedent. The effects of overexposure to Vitamin A on the central nervous system were first documented in 1856 by Elisha Kane, an Artic explorer who suffered dramatic changes in mood and temperament after ingesting polar bear liver. The many symptoms of Accutane treatment significantly overlap with those of Hypervitaminosis A, given that Accutane exerts its therapeutic effects through the primary metabolite of Vitamin A: Retinoic acid. However, unlike overexposure to Vitamin A, Isotretinoin is able to avoid xenobiotic responses that metabolise excessive retinoic acid, allowing for an even greater intracellular accumulation.[2] A meta-analysis of 25 randomised controlled trials found that neurological symptoms were amongst the most common adverse effects associated with Accutane treatment – with 24% suffering extreme fatigue and 10% complaining of significant changes in mood and personality. [3] Aside from the many case reports, there’s a good neuroanatomical basis for believing that retinoids are fundamental to cognition and mood. The enzymes that locally synthesise retinoic acid are highly expressed in regions of the brain that are rich in dopamine, such as the mesolimbic. [4] Dopamine is the neurotransmitter associated with feelings of reward, excitement and pleasure; however dysregulation of dopaminergic system can lead to mania and psychosis. The exact role retinoic acid plays in regulating dopamine is yet to be fully understood, but the evidence shows the two systems are deeply intertwined*.* [5][6] STEM CELLS AND RETINOIDS:Beta-catenin is a multifunctional protein that serves as a key regulator in many cellular processes, but most pertinently in stem cell proliferation. Many organs throughout the body rely on a pool of stem cells to draw upon for tissue repair and maintenance, such as the skin.Beta-catenin signalling is regulated by a ‘destruction complex’, which continuously marks the protein for destruction. When it is unbound from the destruction complex it translocates into the nuclei of cells to signal for the proliferation (increase the number) of stem cells in these given tissues. When beta-catenin is repressed by enhancing the action of the destruction complex, the stem cells in these tissues undergo a process of specialisation called differentiation**.** [7] https://preview.redd.it/efv0auyy860d1.png?width=1221&format=png&auto=webp&s=f980b81cced156a795193957fa3e6b04a788c21a Final stem cell differentiation.svg), This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license. This process can’t be reversed, and the stem cell pool must replenish in order to preserve future tissue reparative properties. Retinoids are differentiating agents, that repress beta-catenin by enhancing the action of the destruction complex and thus inhibiting stem cell proliferation. A careful equilibrium must be maintained to ensure that stem cells don’t aberrantly differentiate. The consequences of disrupting this balance are most disturbingly evidence by the foetuses of mothers exposed to high levels of vitamin A, as foetal development is reliant on the proliferation of embryonic stem cells. These foetuses typically fail to develop normal limbs if they survive gestation at all. [8] Whilst beta-catenin signalling is regulated by retinoids, retinoid signalling is in turn regulating by beta-catenin feedback through the ALDH (aldehyde dehydrogenase) enzymes. ALDH enzymes play a key role in synthesising retinoids, and a regulated by beta-catenin. High levels of beta-catenin trigger an enhance ALDH activity, which in turn leads to greater retinoid synthesis and therefore suppression of beta-catenin. Alternatively high levels of retinoid signalling, as in during Accutane treatment, leads to suppression of beta-catenin and in turn ALDH activity. However, ALDH enzymes don’t exclusively serve to synthesise retinoids, they also play a vital detoxifying role in metabolising toxic acetaldehydes and lipid peroxides. [9] ACCUTANE REDUCES CORTICAL BRAIN ACTIVITYThere is a mountain of evidence within the scientific literature that points to the diverse and profound effects of Accutane treatment on the brain. The most striking of this evidence comes from brain imaging of patients being treated with Accutane, which indicated a 21% reduction in activity in the orbitofrontal cortex. [10]The frontal cortex is the region of the brain most developed in humans as compared to other animals and is responsible for higher cognitive processing. The researchers also identified that this reduction in activity was accompanied by headaches, with the severity of the headaches correlating with the degree of inhibition. The findings of this study corroborate the evidence for Isotretinoin inhibiting new nerve growth in the brain, and even directly causing apoptosis (cell death) of neurons. [11] The prevailing theory for depression is that it is a consequence of reduced neurogenesis (neuronal cell growth), which can be mitigated by neurogenic compounds. [12] It is therefore reasonable to connect the evidence of Accutane induced depression to these neurogenic effects. As previously established, beta-catenin signalling is needed to maintain stem cell populations in the many tissues that undergo continual growth and reparation throughout adulthood. The brain, and in particular the hippocampus, is one such region. The hippocampus is essential for the generation of episodic and spatial memory. Neuroplasticity in the hippocampus is needed to form new memories throughout adulthood. It’s been found that when beta-catenin is ablated in hippocampal cell cultures, the synaptic strength is diminished. Neurons lacking beta-catenin became thin and spindly, with reduced amplitude of spontaneous glutamatergic currents. [13] Conversely, enhancing beta-catenin signalling in transgenic mice allowed for greater neuronal growth and even enlarged brains on account of the increase in neural stem cell populations. [14] Understanding the role of beta-catenin is key to explaining the evidence for Accutane inhibiting new cell growth in the hippocampus. [15] BETA-CATENIN AND NEURONAL DEATHNotably the neurological role of beta-catenin isn’t confined to the hippocampus, as it also greatly impacts synaptic activity in two other regions: the hypothalamus and the amygdala. The hypothalamus is a part of the limbic system that controls the release of hormones involved in diverse processes including facilitating sexual responses, hunger, and circadian rhythms. Hypothalamic cells are also subject to both growth and regulation by beta-catenin which can be guided in particular by oestradiol, which activates the PI3K/Akt pathway.Poignantly, this action of oestradiol is the exact opposite of the mechanism of action by which Accutane suppresses beta-catenin. The importance of oestradiol is especially relevant for woman with respect to the oestrous cycle, and the periodic changes it induces on synaptic structures. [16] Given this evidence, it is perhaps unsurprising that hypothalamic cells (along with hippocampal cells) are amongst the neuronal cells most vulnerable to apoptosis (cell death) in response to retinoic acid exposure. [17] Another structure within the limbic system is the amygdala, which consists of two clusters of nuclei in the centre of the brain and plays a pivotal role in regulating memory, emotional response and feelings of reward and pleasure. Like the hypothalamus, the amygdala also appears to significantly influenced by beta-catenin. There’s evidence that beta-catenin is needed for the transfer of newly formed memory into long term memory, and specific deletion of beta-catenin prevented this memory consolidation. [18] Furthermore, researchers have been able to trigger dysregulation of the amygdala of rats by applying retinoic acid, resulting in heightened fear and anxiety responses. ALDH: ‘DETOX’ AND DOPAMINEThe Aldehyde Dehydrogenase (ALDH) family of enzymes plays a pivotal role in the metabolism of aldehydes, which are a type of reactive molecule within biological systems. It’s a diverse family of enzymes consisting of many isoforms with wide ranging targets contributing to a variety of physiological processes. In particular, ALDH enzymes are known for their critical detoxifying function in oxidizing aldehydes to their corresponding carboxylic acids.Given that ALDH enzymes have been implicated in cellular protection against oxidative stress, they subsequently play a role in the development of a number of diseases, in particular neurodegenerative disorders. They have a particular relevance to the metabolism of retinoids, as they catalyse the conversion of retinol to retinoic acid locally within tissues. [26] As discussed previously, ALDH activity is regulated by beta-catenin in a negative feedback loop. The administration of Isotretinoin marks these enzymes for downregulation by interrupting this feedback loop and suppressing ALDH activity. [27] Long term application of retinoic acid downregulates these enzymes through post-translational modifications, potentially giving an epigenetic basis for the lasting nature of Post Accutane Syndrome. [28] The adverse effects of suppressed ALDH activity are potentially very broad given the diversity of roles they play outside of metabolising retinoids. One of the best attested lasting adverse effects of Isotretinoin treatment is permanent night blindness. Researchers concluded that this is a consequence of the suppression a particular member of the ALDH family, RDH11, which serves to recycle rhodopsins in the retina. [29] THE LINK TO PARKINSONSIt’s hard to overstate both the importance and diversity of ALDH activity in the body, from the production of neurosteroids, to metabolism of alcohol to detoxification, but the particular focus of this article is their role in neurological functioning and how it relates to the adverse effects of Isotretinoin treatment. The first indication that play an important neurological role that ALDH isoforms are expressed in regions of the brain rich in dopamine. [30]For example the enzyme retinaldehyde dehydrogenase 1 (RALDH1) is present in the dopaminergic terminals that innervate the striatum from the ventral tegmental area is necessary for the synthesis of RA in these areas. [31] The previously cited neuroimaging study found that the regions of the brain most rich in dopaminergic activity, such as the midbrain and mesolimbic, experience the greatest reduction in activity during Isotretinoin treatment. This could potentially be explained by the detoxifying role played by ALDH isoforms such as RALDH1 during dopamine transmission, which is likely inhibited by Isotretinoin treatment. The metabolites of dopamine such as DOPAL (3, 4-dihydroxyphenylacetaldehyde) are neurotoxic, but can be metabolised by RALDH1 to protect dopaminergic neurons**. If RALDH1 is inhibited these dopaminergic neurons within the mesolimbic are more susceptible to cell death.** [32] This effect is so profound that ALDH inhibitors are even able to induce Parkinsonian like symptoms, which is a type of Alzheimer’s characterised by the rapid loss of dopaminergic neurons. [33] Additionally, the overaccumulation of toxic dopamine metabolites results in negative feedback to acutely inhibit dopamine neurotransmission. This is why ALDH inhibitors such as Disulfiram can cause a blunted response to stimulants such as amphetamine. [34] Given that dopamine is needed to facilitate feelings of pleasure and, reduced libido is one of the most common complaints of people being treated with Disulfiram, which is a medication used in combatting alcohol addiction. In fact, it is now believed that Disulfiram is effective in treating addiction by blunting feelings of pleasure that drive addictions, through the negative feedback of toxic dopamine metabolites. [35] The evidence for Isotretinoin inhibiting ALDH expression indicates that Disulfiram could potentially serve as an effective analogue for some of the effects of Isotretinoin treatment. |
2024.05.13 06:37 RecommendationLow801 First attempt at Space Marine Successor Chapters
First Attempts at Successor Chapters
Just a preface before the stories. This contains the outlines for my homebrew space marine chapters called the Galvin Knights and the Luciferians. These are 2/3 chapters within a short story I'm writing about an invasion of the Tyranids. Any and all feedback is welcome.
Galvin Knights
In the furthest reaches of the Segmentum Tempestus lies the death world of Galvios, a harsh and unforgiving planet battered by relentless electrical storms and marred by massive destroyed Hive cities. Here, amidst its hard landscape, stands fortress-monastery “Rhebar” of the Galvin Knights, an Iron Hands successor chapter known for its meticulous attention to detail and ruthless machine-like efficiency.
Galvios is not alone in the system, for orbiting it is the Mechanicum Forge-Moon of Castellum Ryzarian, a bastion of knowledge and innovation where the Galvin Knights have forged a close alliance with the adepts of Mars. It is within this union of man and machine that the chapter's most closely guarded secret resides.
When a battle brother of the Galvin Knights falls in the line of duty, their souls are not consigned to the warp. Instead, they are interred within the sacred halls of the Autorus Intelligius, where the ancient rites of the Mechanicum are performed. Through the melding of mind and steel, the fallen warrior's consciousness is transferred into a cybernetic host, a warrior reborn as a Galvin Sentry, stripping them of all humanity but imbuing them with abominable will and unwavering loyalty to the God Emperor.
Since their inception, the Knights have begun to become less codex complaint, welding numbers well over the chapter limit.
the Galvin Knights' secrets do not end there. Led by their formidable First Captain, Varaan Maneur (Manor) , a towering figure clad in Indomitus terminator armor, the chapter boasts a unique retinue known as the Watchful Eye. Composed of the four strongest and most technologically adept Astartes of the chapter, the Watchful Eye are masters of Surveillance and Raids when operating in smaller numbers but excel at Siege and Counter Siege at large. First Captain Maneur and fellow Members of the Eye can communicate with a version of Lingua-technis in a form of a relay system, allowing for them to command with those of the Galvin Sentry.
Tasked with the defense of Segmentum Tempestus against the relentless advance of the Tyranid Hive Fleets, the Galvin Knights metallic armor shines the brightest. When planets are besieged by the Tyranids, the Galvin Knights rush from their bastions and bunkers with uncaring determination. Meeting the fleet head on the Knights stem the lines of the xeno menace head-on and engage them with hordes of their own.
In the face of the Tyranid menace, the Galvin Knights stand as a symbol of strength and guardians of humanity, their seemingly iron souls forged in the crucible of war and bound by the ancient pact between man and machine. And as long as there are enemies of the Imperium to face, they will continue to fight, their resolve unbreakable and their loyalty unwavering.
Luciferians
The Luciferians, a successor chapter of the Blood Angels, are a formidable force within the Imperium, led by their enigmatic and feared Chapter Master, known by several titles - "The Fallen," "The Visage of Blood," and "The Blood Angel of Death" - The Archbishop Lucifer MorningStar. Lucifer MorningStar is a smaller Astarte known for his exceptional speed, infiltration skills, mastery of melee combat, and terror tactics that strike fear into the hearts of his enemies.
Clad in modified Mark X Phobos armor, Lucifer MorningStar stands out with mechanical tubes weaving throughout his armor, pumping blood through his body, symbolizing the intense connection the Luciferians have to life-giving essence. His armor is predominantly red with silver plating, and he often forgoes wearing a helmet, allowing his flowing brown hair to cascade in the wind. With his piercing brown eyes and fair skin, Lucifer MorningStar possesses a captivating and handsome appearance.
Unlike their Blood Angels progenitors, the Luciferians do not suffer from the Black Rage. However, they possess an intense need for blood and are susceptible to the Red Thirst, which drives them to seek out the life essence of their enemies with unwavering ferocity. This unquenchable thirst for blood teeters on the edge of losing control to their primal instincts, making them a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield.
The chapter is currently in the process of rebuilding and recovering from a devastating loss suffered during the Tebir Campaign, a fierce conflict against the savage Orks. The loss was primarily due to Lucifer MorningStar and the 1st, 3rd, and 6th Companies falling victim to an unknown force while trapped within a fortress named the Bastion of Wrath. In their thirst for vengeance and blood, they abandoned tactics and discipline, leading to their downfall. The only survivor was Lucifer himself, who, in the aftermath of the battle, shed his blood-stained armor and laid upon the peak of the fortress. For 40 days and 40 nights, he wept and cried out, facing an internal struggle against the temptations of Khorne, the Chaos God of Blood and War. It was during this period that he reaffirmed his loyalty to the Imperium and resisted the lure of chaos, emerging from the ordeal with an unbreakable resolve to rebuild his chapter and lead his brethren with renewed discipline and control.
The Luciferians were created during the 23rd Founding, a response to the increasing threats posed by xenos in the Segmentum Obscurus. Tasked with defending humanity against these alien adversaries, the Luciferians carry on the noble traditions and genetic heritage of their Blood Angels forebears.
The Luciferians don blood-red armor, adorned with silver and bronze trim, symbolizing their connection to their Blood Angels lineage. Each Astartes bears a black right knee pad, displaying a unique number denoting their respective company within the chapter. Astartes initiates are called the Elohim and are organized into groups of five or ten, led by a veteran called a Seraphim, forming the 10th Company. The Seraphim are distinguished by their silver helmets, symbolizing their leadership role within the company.
In addition to the Seraphim, the Luciferians employ a specialized group known as the Ophanium. These skilled warriors lead the Seraphim within other companies, specializing in different forms of combat, ensuring the chapter's diverse capabilities are utilized to their fullest potential. The chapter also boasts a significant number of chaplains who have dedicated themselves to studying and understanding the Red Thirst, as well as a strong contingent of apothecaries who are responsible for delivering blood across the company.
Rumors circulate that the Chapter Master, Lucifer MorningStar, engages in a ritualistic practice of draining the blood of serfs in a massive bathhouse-style pool, where he and his Honor Guard bathe in it. This macabre ceremony is believed to serve as a method to slow the Red Thirst.
The Luciferians have forged alliances with various factions within the Imperium, particularly the Inquisition and the Galvin Knights and Emerald Stars chapters. Lucifer MorningStar's path crossed with Galatyn Barden during their service to the Deathwatch, where they utilized their skills to root out Xenos Cults and dismantle Xenos invasions. However, at the start of the Tebir Campaign, Lucifer was summoned back to his chapter, where he discovered that most of the leadership had secretly succumbed to the Black Rage and were put down. This tragic event took many lives and almost led the chapter to extinction on Tebir Tertius. Hidden records indicate that Lucifer believes an Inquisitor directed more Orks to the system as a test by the Emperor himself to determine the chapter's worthiness to shape the future.
submitted by RecommendationLow801 to 40kFanfictions [link] [comments]
Just a preface before the stories. This contains the outlines for my homebrew space marine chapters called the Galvin Knights and the Luciferians. These are 2/3 chapters within a short story I'm writing about an invasion of the Tyranids. Any and all feedback is welcome.
Galvin Knights
In the furthest reaches of the Segmentum Tempestus lies the death world of Galvios, a harsh and unforgiving planet battered by relentless electrical storms and marred by massive destroyed Hive cities. Here, amidst its hard landscape, stands fortress-monastery “Rhebar” of the Galvin Knights, an Iron Hands successor chapter known for its meticulous attention to detail and ruthless machine-like efficiency.
Galvios is not alone in the system, for orbiting it is the Mechanicum Forge-Moon of Castellum Ryzarian, a bastion of knowledge and innovation where the Galvin Knights have forged a close alliance with the adepts of Mars. It is within this union of man and machine that the chapter's most closely guarded secret resides.
When a battle brother of the Galvin Knights falls in the line of duty, their souls are not consigned to the warp. Instead, they are interred within the sacred halls of the Autorus Intelligius, where the ancient rites of the Mechanicum are performed. Through the melding of mind and steel, the fallen warrior's consciousness is transferred into a cybernetic host, a warrior reborn as a Galvin Sentry, stripping them of all humanity but imbuing them with abominable will and unwavering loyalty to the God Emperor.
Since their inception, the Knights have begun to become less codex complaint, welding numbers well over the chapter limit.
the Galvin Knights' secrets do not end there. Led by their formidable First Captain, Varaan Maneur (Manor) , a towering figure clad in Indomitus terminator armor, the chapter boasts a unique retinue known as the Watchful Eye. Composed of the four strongest and most technologically adept Astartes of the chapter, the Watchful Eye are masters of Surveillance and Raids when operating in smaller numbers but excel at Siege and Counter Siege at large. First Captain Maneur and fellow Members of the Eye can communicate with a version of Lingua-technis in a form of a relay system, allowing for them to command with those of the Galvin Sentry.
Tasked with the defense of Segmentum Tempestus against the relentless advance of the Tyranid Hive Fleets, the Galvin Knights metallic armor shines the brightest. When planets are besieged by the Tyranids, the Galvin Knights rush from their bastions and bunkers with uncaring determination. Meeting the fleet head on the Knights stem the lines of the xeno menace head-on and engage them with hordes of their own.
In the face of the Tyranid menace, the Galvin Knights stand as a symbol of strength and guardians of humanity, their seemingly iron souls forged in the crucible of war and bound by the ancient pact between man and machine. And as long as there are enemies of the Imperium to face, they will continue to fight, their resolve unbreakable and their loyalty unwavering.
Luciferians
The Luciferians, a successor chapter of the Blood Angels, are a formidable force within the Imperium, led by their enigmatic and feared Chapter Master, known by several titles - "The Fallen," "The Visage of Blood," and "The Blood Angel of Death" - The Archbishop Lucifer MorningStar. Lucifer MorningStar is a smaller Astarte known for his exceptional speed, infiltration skills, mastery of melee combat, and terror tactics that strike fear into the hearts of his enemies.
Clad in modified Mark X Phobos armor, Lucifer MorningStar stands out with mechanical tubes weaving throughout his armor, pumping blood through his body, symbolizing the intense connection the Luciferians have to life-giving essence. His armor is predominantly red with silver plating, and he often forgoes wearing a helmet, allowing his flowing brown hair to cascade in the wind. With his piercing brown eyes and fair skin, Lucifer MorningStar possesses a captivating and handsome appearance.
Unlike their Blood Angels progenitors, the Luciferians do not suffer from the Black Rage. However, they possess an intense need for blood and are susceptible to the Red Thirst, which drives them to seek out the life essence of their enemies with unwavering ferocity. This unquenchable thirst for blood teeters on the edge of losing control to their primal instincts, making them a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield.
The chapter is currently in the process of rebuilding and recovering from a devastating loss suffered during the Tebir Campaign, a fierce conflict against the savage Orks. The loss was primarily due to Lucifer MorningStar and the 1st, 3rd, and 6th Companies falling victim to an unknown force while trapped within a fortress named the Bastion of Wrath. In their thirst for vengeance and blood, they abandoned tactics and discipline, leading to their downfall. The only survivor was Lucifer himself, who, in the aftermath of the battle, shed his blood-stained armor and laid upon the peak of the fortress. For 40 days and 40 nights, he wept and cried out, facing an internal struggle against the temptations of Khorne, the Chaos God of Blood and War. It was during this period that he reaffirmed his loyalty to the Imperium and resisted the lure of chaos, emerging from the ordeal with an unbreakable resolve to rebuild his chapter and lead his brethren with renewed discipline and control.
The Luciferians were created during the 23rd Founding, a response to the increasing threats posed by xenos in the Segmentum Obscurus. Tasked with defending humanity against these alien adversaries, the Luciferians carry on the noble traditions and genetic heritage of their Blood Angels forebears.
The Luciferians don blood-red armor, adorned with silver and bronze trim, symbolizing their connection to their Blood Angels lineage. Each Astartes bears a black right knee pad, displaying a unique number denoting their respective company within the chapter. Astartes initiates are called the Elohim and are organized into groups of five or ten, led by a veteran called a Seraphim, forming the 10th Company. The Seraphim are distinguished by their silver helmets, symbolizing their leadership role within the company.
In addition to the Seraphim, the Luciferians employ a specialized group known as the Ophanium. These skilled warriors lead the Seraphim within other companies, specializing in different forms of combat, ensuring the chapter's diverse capabilities are utilized to their fullest potential. The chapter also boasts a significant number of chaplains who have dedicated themselves to studying and understanding the Red Thirst, as well as a strong contingent of apothecaries who are responsible for delivering blood across the company.
Rumors circulate that the Chapter Master, Lucifer MorningStar, engages in a ritualistic practice of draining the blood of serfs in a massive bathhouse-style pool, where he and his Honor Guard bathe in it. This macabre ceremony is believed to serve as a method to slow the Red Thirst.
The Luciferians have forged alliances with various factions within the Imperium, particularly the Inquisition and the Galvin Knights and Emerald Stars chapters. Lucifer MorningStar's path crossed with Galatyn Barden during their service to the Deathwatch, where they utilized their skills to root out Xenos Cults and dismantle Xenos invasions. However, at the start of the Tebir Campaign, Lucifer was summoned back to his chapter, where he discovered that most of the leadership had secretly succumbed to the Black Rage and were put down. This tragic event took many lives and almost led the chapter to extinction on Tebir Tertius. Hidden records indicate that Lucifer believes an Inquisitor directed more Orks to the system as a test by the Emperor himself to determine the chapter's worthiness to shape the future.
2024.05.12 22:38 Putrid_Mortgage_6896 Tone and the First Two Episodes
Hey everyone, I just thought I would post my opinion on the first two episodes of the season, just so I could get it out there since I have no one in the real world to talk about Doctor Who with. Now for context I started watching Doctor Who with the 2005 revival and I haven’t stopped since, so I am familiar with RTD writing and storytelling.
Firstly the main characters. Ncuti really convinced me that he will be a good Doctor. His scenes were acted well, and I already felt more at home with him than I did with Jodie’s. There are some similarities between Matt’s Doctor and his but there is a uniqueness to Ncuti’s portrayal that makes the character feel his own. I have similar praise for Ruby, who Milly makes feels familiar but different at the same time. My only concern or rather something I thought strange was the chemistry. They had amazing chemistry from the get go, but it just felt a bit crazy, it’s like Ruby asked questions and got answers and kind of just accepted it, there was no breathing space for the character at times to react, which made it feel rushed.
Next is the music, I have no complaints here, I loved Murray Gold’s and his team’s contributions; he really brings an X factor to Doctor Who and his music elevates scenes.
Similarly, I have no complaints about the cinematography. It felt a bit like older Doctor Who, which I enjoyed. I am in the minority but I didn’t like the American feel of the show that was introduced during Matt Smiths run. The only thing I wish we got a bit more are some extreme close ups. This was prevalent during the RTD run and I liked it because it created a more personal atmosphere with the characters as you really focused on their emotions. That sense of closeness really made you feel like you were in the scene with them, but I digress.
Next the Stories for both Episodes. This is where the negatives start. I think that it is difficult to talk about the plots of these two episodes without mentioning tone. These episodes were completely silly, and at times made no sense. Now I will contextualise what I am about to say by saying that Doctor Who has silly monsters, and silly moments especially in Christopher’s first season e.g. Slitheen and Autons, however, a bogey monster, babies that have their mouths move with poorly done special effects, and a musical number that felt so left field it actually made me embarrassed when watching it. The plots themselves were ok, but two episodes in I was expecting more. The overarching plot lines were interesting enough e.g snow and why the doctor keeps running, and I am curious to see where they go, because there is potential to make these average episodes better if it can link to the silliness. The bogeyman was particularly weak and the episode feels a bit like nothing happened, the villain wasn’t really a villain but also it never did anything for me to think it was even misunderstood, it just chilled on its own really and look at a camera. I did like Maestro but I am not sure I actually understood the flow of the episode either. Why did they have a musical battle? Why did the fourth wall constantly break? Why did we have the Beatles as Characters when they didn’t use any music? I know they have to pay for rights, but I think it would have been stronger to have a generic band be the focus of the episode, as we barely saw them, and when they appeared I kept thinking, is this the moment we get some Beatles music.
The big worry for me is that there are only 8 episodes in the season. We have had a quarter of the season and I don’t feel like they were opening episodes that we watched, the way The Doctor and Ruby acted, it feels like we have been dropped into the action mid-season. Are we going to get any conflict between Ruby and the Doctor? Because right now it feels like they have been friends for years and are living the moment constantly, and I don’t know how this relationship is going to develop further, because they got on so well from the get go.
There is a lot that these two episodes have shown me that I love, but i just hope the tonal inconsistencies lead to a payoff because right now I would give Space Babies a 4/10 and The Devil’s Chord a 5/10 and it probably would have been a 7/10 if the ending was a bit tighter and the musical number was cut. I look forward to next weeks episode and I hope it is more serious in tone, because regarding the rest of the seasons episodes; I want to see those moments where The Doctor becomes the most important man in the room. The scenes where everyone is scared and he rises up and saves the day through striking fear into the monster or aliens, the scenes where the companion sees a side to the doctor that they rarely see, but when they do see it, it reminds them that he is this being from another world that has a god like status.
submitted by Putrid_Mortgage_6896 to doctorwho [link] [comments]
Firstly the main characters. Ncuti really convinced me that he will be a good Doctor. His scenes were acted well, and I already felt more at home with him than I did with Jodie’s. There are some similarities between Matt’s Doctor and his but there is a uniqueness to Ncuti’s portrayal that makes the character feel his own. I have similar praise for Ruby, who Milly makes feels familiar but different at the same time. My only concern or rather something I thought strange was the chemistry. They had amazing chemistry from the get go, but it just felt a bit crazy, it’s like Ruby asked questions and got answers and kind of just accepted it, there was no breathing space for the character at times to react, which made it feel rushed.
Next is the music, I have no complaints here, I loved Murray Gold’s and his team’s contributions; he really brings an X factor to Doctor Who and his music elevates scenes.
Similarly, I have no complaints about the cinematography. It felt a bit like older Doctor Who, which I enjoyed. I am in the minority but I didn’t like the American feel of the show that was introduced during Matt Smiths run. The only thing I wish we got a bit more are some extreme close ups. This was prevalent during the RTD run and I liked it because it created a more personal atmosphere with the characters as you really focused on their emotions. That sense of closeness really made you feel like you were in the scene with them, but I digress.
Next the Stories for both Episodes. This is where the negatives start. I think that it is difficult to talk about the plots of these two episodes without mentioning tone. These episodes were completely silly, and at times made no sense. Now I will contextualise what I am about to say by saying that Doctor Who has silly monsters, and silly moments especially in Christopher’s first season e.g. Slitheen and Autons, however, a bogey monster, babies that have their mouths move with poorly done special effects, and a musical number that felt so left field it actually made me embarrassed when watching it. The plots themselves were ok, but two episodes in I was expecting more. The overarching plot lines were interesting enough e.g snow and why the doctor keeps running, and I am curious to see where they go, because there is potential to make these average episodes better if it can link to the silliness. The bogeyman was particularly weak and the episode feels a bit like nothing happened, the villain wasn’t really a villain but also it never did anything for me to think it was even misunderstood, it just chilled on its own really and look at a camera. I did like Maestro but I am not sure I actually understood the flow of the episode either. Why did they have a musical battle? Why did the fourth wall constantly break? Why did we have the Beatles as Characters when they didn’t use any music? I know they have to pay for rights, but I think it would have been stronger to have a generic band be the focus of the episode, as we barely saw them, and when they appeared I kept thinking, is this the moment we get some Beatles music.
The big worry for me is that there are only 8 episodes in the season. We have had a quarter of the season and I don’t feel like they were opening episodes that we watched, the way The Doctor and Ruby acted, it feels like we have been dropped into the action mid-season. Are we going to get any conflict between Ruby and the Doctor? Because right now it feels like they have been friends for years and are living the moment constantly, and I don’t know how this relationship is going to develop further, because they got on so well from the get go.
There is a lot that these two episodes have shown me that I love, but i just hope the tonal inconsistencies lead to a payoff because right now I would give Space Babies a 4/10 and The Devil’s Chord a 5/10 and it probably would have been a 7/10 if the ending was a bit tighter and the musical number was cut. I look forward to next weeks episode and I hope it is more serious in tone, because regarding the rest of the seasons episodes; I want to see those moments where The Doctor becomes the most important man in the room. The scenes where everyone is scared and he rises up and saves the day through striking fear into the monster or aliens, the scenes where the companion sees a side to the doctor that they rarely see, but when they do see it, it reminds them that he is this being from another world that has a god like status.
2024.05.12 16:15 PoisonedWhispers [Part 1][WARNING: Unnecessarily Long Effort-post] An analysis of the behaviour that leads to misinformation on the subreddit and in general; methods to curb this; and other malarkey.
Edit: o7
Ah, fuck, who let me cook? 😎
TL;DR: There is a noticeable pattern when it comes to the behaviour that leads to misinformation inadvertently being posted or spread by the pro-Israel crowd on this subreddit. This is not unique to the pro-Israel crowd, but comments and submissions by them will be the focus of this post. My intention with Part 1 and Part 2 is to identify why this happens and how to fix it.
My argument is not that the misinformation is never addressed; it’s that it ought to happen sooner, and hopefully a post like this will incentivize that behaviour.
The structure of Parts 1 and 2 is a self-introduction; a brief mention of some flaws in the subreddit; examples of misinformation being spread; I offer six prescriptions which, if followed, will reduce the likelihood of said misinformation being spread; explanations on the examples; and we close with the six prescriptions again.
Further, in Part 3, I offer a critique of 4THOTs two bans upon myself, the first lasting 30 days, and the second lasting “until Israel/Palestine is over.” Similarly, I hope to decrease the likelihood that this reoccurs in the future, whether against myself, or some of you poor, hapless souls if you’re still here. (Of course, this post might have the opposite effect. XD)
Ideally, I'm hoping that Destiny could offer clarification on an aspect of subreddit moderation that hasn't been discussed or critiqued yet: conditional bans that seemingly can’t be undone via the unban request form.
Finally, it would be, heh, splendid if Splemndid was unbanned. :)
Per the subreddit rules, I won’t be linking comments of mine on other subreddits, which unfortunately means I can’t demonstrate my consistency here, whether it came to debating tankies spreading Russian disinformation, or leftists inadvertently spreading misinformation on Ukraine. However, I do have a comment posted on this subreddit where I addressed Russian disinformation spread by RFK Jr. on Lex Fridman’s podcast, and it even received 4THOT’s seal of approval. Thanks mate! The comment talks about the “Boris Johnson sabotaged a Ukrainian peace deal” memes, which again is reiterated in a less conspiratorial manner on Lex Fridman’s podcast during Destiny’s debate against Ben Shapiro, and never gets addressed — understandably so as Ben talks for a while here. Unfortunately, the video was posted during the start of my “mini-ban”, ergo I didn't have an incentive to immediately write an effort-post on the peace deal memes which would be more fleshed-out, including some recent developments which I have a fair amount of notes on; and then I lost interest in doing the write-up weeks later.
Like you all, I’ve made all the usual comments making fun of Vaush, such as when he CONCLOODED a bit too early. Occasionally, I will take a moment to point out Hasan Piker's imbecility on Ukraine; I got irritated when he called Adamsomething a former Nazi; and my ability to predict his takes trumps even Destiny. I’ve even done what this subreddit does daily, which is post screenshots of dumb tankie tweets so that we can all circlejerk about how, well, dumb they are.
Anyways, without inundating you with too many examples where I make disparaging remarks about Twitter leftists, the point is that I’m a pro-establishment liberal, and any debates I had were not on the subreddit that I’m in general alignment with. Now I know what you’re thinking: “Fuck me, is this bozo just upset that the subreddit is pro-Israel?” Quite the contrary. I am, alas, a debate pervert, and I welcomed all the new pro-Israel folk to the subreddit. While I hate the pro-Israel/pro-Palestine dichotomy and I don’t adopt either label for myself, I am practically pro-Israel; the fact that I don’t believe Israel is conducting a genocide and I’ve supported Operation Swords of Iron throughout most of its progression (eventually settling on the same ambivalence that Lonerbox has) probably makes me some depraved, Zionist shill in the eyes of some pro-Palestine folk.
And, no, to get this out the way as well, this is not a post about “Hasbara” or “brigading.” On the latter point, in response to someone else thinking there was brigading from the pro-Palestine crowd, I made the following point:
We ought to:
Without further ado:
Per point 1, it may actually be the case that Mashal is that wealthy — but the process by which people arrived there was deeply flawed. As mentioned, the criticism is better directed (point 6) to the mere fact that he is ostentatiously wealthy, and there’s no need to commit yourself to figures that lack robust verification. Think back to Destiny's remarks about Breonna Taylor. Do you really want your argument -- the fact that Mashal is a reprehensible person who languishes in comfort while Palestinians suffer -- to be derailed?
This submission and comment is also an example of a charged topic: essentially, threads on highly contentious or egregious matters where emotions are running high, people are passionate, and there isn’t an immediate interest in calmly and rationally discussing the submission. The “nuance” tends to arrive several hours later.
Once again, the goal of this post is to incentivise more of a particular type of behaviour, not to say that said behaviour doesn’t exist anywhere in the subreddit or thread. In other words, the fact that the nuance is present further down in the thread, where someone links a Ryan McBeth video which offers some fair criticism, is good; all I’m saying is the good thing ought to happen sooner.
Whenever I see someone complaining about an NYT headline on some event in the I-P conflict, it’s basically a coins flip on whether or not the complaint is coming from a pro-Israel or pro-Palestine individual. It’s not only headlines, of course, the pro-Palestine complaints also include the language the NYT uses to describe violence from a particular side; which sources they choose to take direct quotes from; the disposition of their op-eds; and protests even flooded into the lobby of the NYT building earlier this year.
None of these complaints are exclusive to the NYT. BBC headlines will also catch their ire [23] [24]; it is the “most depraved genocidal propaganda rag in the world” (I think you can guess who that comes from without even clicking); they’re “absolute ghouls” because they didn’t mention who launched a particular drone strike in their headline; it was scandalous when they originally called Refaat Alareer (yes, that guy) a controversial writer; and so on.
Now, I’m not bringing this all up to make some galaxy-brained assessment where if it is the case that an outlet is receiving criticism from both sides in their coverage, then they must be doing something “right” — which is something the BBC themselves have mentioned is not the case. [25] The fact that the BBC receives a 50-50 split in complaints relating to its coverage of the Israel-Gaza war does not mean the complaints/criticisms are of equal merit. [26] [27]
What I merely wish to highlight here is that it can be challenging to comprehensively critique the coverage from an outlet if you’re not consuming their output on a daily basis, and thus you might only encounter instances where their reporting has been flawed. The BBC is not an outlet I regularly check for world news, and I’m not actively seeking out their reporting on I-P. I would imagine that also holds true for most of y’all.
What you might not hear about is when the BBC’s editorial policy director acknowledged they made a mistake when their UK outlet did not cover South Africa’s ICJ case in a balanced manner, where Israel’s defence was broadcast in full, but only clips were shown from the opposite side as important domestic news took priority instead. Hypothetically, imagine if this was the other way around; you probably would hear about this as it would likely be reported on by some mainstream outlet, and perhaps even posted to a subreddit — not that there would be anything wrong with that.
Depending on what online spaces you inhabit, you might find that the negative qualities of an outlet’s coverage have been so overemphasised that you ultimately end with a distorted, inaccurate view on what their output truly looks like — and that’s going to influence how you might engage with aspects of their output when you encounter it in the future. It can lead to some very uncharitable readings on headlines, articles, content, interviews, etc., where there’s criticism to be made, but it’s made in the wrong direction. In some cases, however, we’re not dealing with uncharitable readings, we’re wrestling with sloppy work.
[Redacted because Reddit is silly. Just click the hyperlink.]
Edit 2: Oh, and there's always more examples to give; there's plenty that I miss. I didn't even see this misleading tweet that was posted to the sub, and one user here correctly highlights the issue (not to mention OP's weird submission title). Point 3, OP's title makes this a charged thread, and few people are interested in a fact-check.
Or this submission which was just a screenshot of a Vaush video. This is similar to Example 5 in this main post, where no source is given, and no one is interested in watching the video itself. There is absolutely a problem here with folk not being accurate in their criticisms.
Toodles.
submitted by PoisonedWhispers to Destiny [link] [comments]
>>CLICK HERE FOR THE SHORT VERSION. SAVE YOURSELF FROM THE ABYSS.<<
Click here for Additional Material if you so desire. Yh, there's more, mate. It's the schizo-post to end all schizo-posts.
TL;DR: There is a noticeable pattern when it comes to the behaviour that leads to misinformation inadvertently being posted or spread by the pro-Israel crowd on this subreddit. This is not unique to the pro-Israel crowd, but comments and submissions by them will be the focus of this post. My intention with Part 1 and Part 2 is to identify why this happens and how to fix it.
My argument is not that the misinformation is never addressed; it’s that it ought to happen sooner, and hopefully a post like this will incentivize that behaviour.
The structure of Parts 1 and 2 is a self-introduction; a brief mention of some flaws in the subreddit; examples of misinformation being spread; I offer six prescriptions which, if followed, will reduce the likelihood of said misinformation being spread; explanations on the examples; and we close with the six prescriptions again.
Further, in Part 3, I offer a critique of 4THOTs two bans upon myself, the first lasting 30 days, and the second lasting “until Israel/Palestine is over.” Similarly, I hope to decrease the likelihood that this reoccurs in the future, whether against myself, or some of you poor, hapless souls if you’re still here. (Of course, this post might have the opposite effect. XD)
Ideally, I'm hoping that Destiny could offer clarification on an aspect of subreddit moderation that hasn't been discussed or critiqued yet: conditional bans that seemingly can’t be undone via the unban request form.
Finally, it would be, heh, splendid if Splemndid was unbanned. :)
Who Art Thou?
What up, what up, some of y’all might recognize me, and if you do, hi 🙂. For those of you who don’t, I guess you could say that a few people took note of the fact that I’ve made successful — and sometimes unsuccessful — attempts to address misinformation propagated by the pro-Israel crowd on this subreddit. In the words of Wannabe_Sadboi from a past submission:Excellent post. In general, especially recently, I’ve been very impressed by the quality of posts I’ve seen from you, and admire both the dedication to fact checking and the desire to hold this subreddit to a higher standard.Thanks mate! I’ve also made a number of submissions with the intent of improving the quality of the discussions here when I observed a deterioration in said quality post-Oct. 7th. If there’s one constant in terms of my comments across Reddit, then it’s the fact that I’m vehemently anti-misinformation, and that predates Oct. 7th. For example, you might have read a post I did about the Twitter Files, some of which Destiny utilised during his debate against two journalists who had contributed to the Twitter Files, and also against Counterpoints (the timestamps here having been taken from my post). If you have doubts about my impartiality, then feel free to read this comment where I offer a rebuttal to the notion that "Israel has been siding with ISIS for years."
Per the subreddit rules, I won’t be linking comments of mine on other subreddits, which unfortunately means I can’t demonstrate my consistency here, whether it came to debating tankies spreading Russian disinformation, or leftists inadvertently spreading misinformation on Ukraine. However, I do have a comment posted on this subreddit where I addressed Russian disinformation spread by RFK Jr. on Lex Fridman’s podcast, and it even received 4THOT’s seal of approval. Thanks mate! The comment talks about the “Boris Johnson sabotaged a Ukrainian peace deal” memes, which again is reiterated in a less conspiratorial manner on Lex Fridman’s podcast during Destiny’s debate against Ben Shapiro, and never gets addressed — understandably so as Ben talks for a while here. Unfortunately, the video was posted during the start of my “mini-ban”, ergo I didn't have an incentive to immediately write an effort-post on the peace deal memes which would be more fleshed-out, including some recent developments which I have a fair amount of notes on; and then I lost interest in doing the write-up weeks later.
Like you all, I’ve made all the usual comments making fun of Vaush, such as when he CONCLOODED a bit too early. Occasionally, I will take a moment to point out Hasan Piker's imbecility on Ukraine; I got irritated when he called Adamsomething a former Nazi; and my ability to predict his takes trumps even Destiny. I’ve even done what this subreddit does daily, which is post screenshots of dumb tankie tweets so that we can all circlejerk about how, well, dumb they are.
Anyways, without inundating you with too many examples where I make disparaging remarks about Twitter leftists, the point is that I’m a pro-establishment liberal, and any debates I had were not on the subreddit that I’m in general alignment with. Now I know what you’re thinking: “Fuck me, is this bozo just upset that the subreddit is pro-Israel?” Quite the contrary. I am, alas, a debate pervert, and I welcomed all the new pro-Israel folk to the subreddit. While I hate the pro-Israel/pro-Palestine dichotomy and I don’t adopt either label for myself, I am practically pro-Israel; the fact that I don’t believe Israel is conducting a genocide and I’ve supported Operation Swords of Iron throughout most of its progression (eventually settling on the same ambivalence that Lonerbox has) probably makes me some depraved, Zionist shill in the eyes of some pro-Palestine folk.
And, no, to get this out the way as well, this is not a post about “Hasbara” or “brigading.” On the latter point, in response to someone else thinking there was brigading from the pro-Palestine crowd, I made the following point:
If they're dggers... then they're part of this community. Brigading typically refers to an active effort by a community to target an entirely different community, typically with some level of coordination. If a pro-Palestinian dgger likes to browse this sub, it's not brigading if they wish to partake in the discussions here.I would make the same comment about the pro-Israel dggers. Nor have I ever advocated for “purges” because, once again, the debate arena and all that jazz.
The Flaws
There have been a number of problematic behaviours on the subreddit that ramped up after the influx of new users, and folk have generally been receptive when I highlighted them in my attempts to curb it:- People taking screenshots of articles without posting sources. [1] Posting sources for the benefit of the subreddit is something I still do because people love to take screenshots of tweets from rubbish news aggregator Twitter accounts, and other moderators here have taken note of the fact that this trend continues to persist. Link your sources you bozos.
- Users who habitually blocked folk who disagreed with them, cultivating their own echochamber, and which can effectively lock you out of conversations. [2] This still occurs, particularly from users who only post comments and submissions on I-P (not that there’s anything wrong with only participating in one topic); but this is not a call-out post on specific users, which is why anytime I bring up a particular comment or submission in this post, I will always refer to the user who made it as “OP.”
- And the misinformation.
The Examples
Seeing as it's a perennial habit on this subreddit to post screenshots of tweets which received barely any engagement, [3] [4] [5] or random Discord servers, hopefully these comments that have at least a couple dozen upvotes will not be out of the ordinary. Do not be fooled by the upvote/downvote distribution here. As mentioned, the issue is not that it doesn't get addressed; the problem is that it doesn't get addressed sooner. The following is a list of some misinformation that I’ve addressed on the subreddit in chronological order. I’ll only be exploring a few of these cases in more detail, noted with an “E.”:- A submission where OP claims a thread on another subreddit had commenters saying that Gaza is a LGBTQ safe haven; naturally, no one was saying this. [6]
- A while ago, Destiny was trying to find a decent source that offered substantial evidence on the claim that the Hamas leadership was worth billions of dollars. Well, a couple months ago I saw a user was being heavily downvoted for correctly pointing out that the sources posted by other users here used to demonstrate that one of the leaders was worth billions either don't make that case, or are not credible. [7] E
- A claim where OP incorrectly stated that Ilhan Omar denies the Armenian genocide. [8] E
- The self-declared Israeli propagandist, who would make several comments with link-dumps supposedly demonstrating instances of Pallywood but were, in fact, false positives, and then blocked various folk who pointed this out. They were temporarily banned from the subreddit after the post (not that I requested it, and nor do I ever advocate for bans); they migrated to one of the large news subs, where they appeared in practically every I-P thread with highly-upvoted comments; and then they were eventually suspended by Reddit. [9] E
- A basic misreading of an article, where OP claimed that Human Rights Watch had accused Israel of committing a particular war crime, when they had not. [10] E
- A post where OP claimed there was a Muslim pride parade for Gaza. [11]
- A submission showing a screenshot of the title of a BBC YouTube video was made during my mini-ban, so I responded several weeks later as I thought it would make for an interesting case where not providing salient information can lead to misinformation. [12] E
- Another submission which, due to omission, doesn't accurately convey what Oxfam's full position was when it came to their initial opposition to US airdrops in Gaza, and thus can lead people to having a misinformed view. [13] E
- Finally, we have a truly bizarre comment that elevates to the level of disinformation, where OP spreads false information about an NYT article. [14] It was abundantly clear that folk hadn't read the mission report which I myself linked for the benefit of the subreddit. An example of a “charged” thread. E
- Process not the conclusion: A misreading of a Haaretz article. [15]
- A mild case of misinformation, but in an attempt to demonstrate “Twinkelstein citations” on a Wikipedia page, OP makes a couple errors in terms of how they’ve parsed the citations that support a particular statement, and no one was actually able to decently explain why. This is relevant to point 1 in the next section. [16]
- And various more examples that I will bring up when relevant later.
Prescriptions: The Six Points
The next bullet points are a list of points/prescriptions to keep in mind when going through the examples, and in general. Nothing here is ground-breaking. You’re not going to come away thinking, “Wow, I never considered that people have biases which means they won’t look at matters objectively. This is truly revolutionary stuff. Magnifico!” Nevertheless, sometimes pointing out “the obvious”, particularly when “the obvious” is still an issue, can go a long way in tempering the frequency in which it occurs.We ought to:
- Value the process just as much — if not, more — than the conclusion.
- Be wary of how the presentation of information or the omission of pertinent information can lead to the inadvertent spread of misinformation.
- Be aware of how “charged” topics/threads lead to poor reasoning that lacks dispassionate analysis.
- Be aware of how pre-existing beliefs about an individual or organization alongside the usual biases leads to a reluctance to fact-check, where claims are taken at face-value because they feel right.
- Link the article. Read the article. (Thoroughly.)
- Redirect criticism to areas where it will be the strongest.
Meat and potatoes: Explanations on the Examples
The examples should be self-explanatory, but I offer explanations in this section for further clarity. Between Examples 4 and 5, I offer some comments on headlines and media bias; this is not a comprehensive analysis, but I believe it provides some context for understanding the issue with Example 5.Without further ado:
Example 1 - Pallywood
I’ll begin with the post on Pallywood, where point 1 is relevant. Now, there’s much to be said about Pallywood, but I’ll mostly reserve the details for another post (if there's no hyperlink here, then I never found the time to make one). To cut a long story short, OP wished to provide evidence of Pallywood, specifically the instances where Palestinians attempt to fake injuries or trauma for propagandistic purposes; and instances where people take images and footage from other conflicts and misleadingly disseminate them as if they’re from the current Gaza war. (Personally, I don’t think the latter behaviour should be encompassed by the word “Pallywood”, but I’ll just grant it for now.) The only issue here is that much of the “evidence” provided was categorically not instances of this deception. In other words, while the fact that this deception exists in some capacity, the process by which they arrived there was flawed: the inadvertent usage of misinformation.Process, not just the conclusion
I am, once again, reminding y’all of Destiny's take on misinformation:It is stated that Breonna Taylor was killed in her bed or while asleep almost ubiquitously across social media despite this not being the truth. What happened to Breonna Taylor was wrong, and the police conduct that day deserves to be called into question. However, starting that discussion with an incorrect description of what happened weakens our arguments against those on the right that disagree with us. This is because we now have to begin by making concessions about lies or misrepresentations from people who purport to agree with us. Furthermore, it casts doubt about the truth of the rest of the argument for those in the middle who are unsure of where the fault lies.For you youngins, it was very common to hear folk chastise Destiny for being “pedantic” or “nitpicky.” You might even feel the same way about the misinformation I’ve addressed on the subreddit. Ultimately, I can’t force anyone to value the thought process, the evidence, the reasoning just as much as the conclusion. Glazin’ time: what I like about Destiny is that he values consistency when it comes to the application of principles. If Destiny places value on the methodology by which you arrive at your conclusion, he’s going to apply that ubiquitously, regardless of whether or not he agrees with the conclusion. The debate he had against Alex (PWF) exemplifies this, where Alex thought he could have a debate on the supply and distribution of humanitarian aid in Gaza, and he makes a series of dreadful arguments during this segment (emphasis mine):
D: I haven't even disagreed with the conclusion, I'm just showing you that I disagree with how you're getting there; I don't even know if I agree or disagree, we haven't gotten to that part of the argument yet. [17][...]
D: Anybody that starts off by quoting these organizations included by quoting to me trucks going out of the country, I'm instantly discrediting their argument. They might be correct in their conclusion like in an accidental way, but it's not worthwhile to me, I won’t even waste my time reading it.Notice the similarities here to OP’s comment in Example 1:
A: Even if you discredit my argument but you agree with my conclusion, that still wouldn't really necessarily change anything.
D: It changes everything.
A: If the conclusion is correct that there's mass starvation going on, Israel's blocking aid, even if the methodology isn't correct, but we get to the right conclusion, then what's actually the difference? [18]
some of which might not real as I said and repeating again, but the point stands. Lots of mad people not liking this and trying their hardest to disprove a single one of these as if it disproves the whole claim. I honestly do not have the mental capacity to engage in such delusions at the moment.Destiny would again make remarks about the salience of the methodology:
Also, just to be clear, even if information did come out that all of the reporting ends up being not true, I still wouldn't give Ryan Grim any credit for it because you don't give people credit for being right or wrong, you give people credit for the process that they used, right? And Ryan Grim, relying on the Gray Zone and Blumenthal, and the hacky tweets that they were going through to try to discredit those stories was bullshit, it was garbage; and the writing, the quality, the citations, and the sources were garbage. And the underlying information was garbage. So even if they end up being true, you don't get any credit at all for that. Like, you don't get credit for being right because you ended up like guessing a bunch of shit, and you know, broken clock, etc., etc., like no. [19]Hell, when RemTheBathBoi (literally neva eva wrong) absolutely annihilated Hasan during the “Great Streamer Drama Battle Royale”, he made similar points albeit focused more so on normative positions rather than descriptive ones. Fortunately, he wrote a post here that I can quote from:
Someone is morally lucky when they arrive at the correct position without any sort of critical thinking as to why it is correct.Remember: this post is a more focused on behaviour rather than the acuteness of the misinformation itself. Returning to the example, I didn’t link to them in my post, but as other users can confirm, OP had given this link-dump supposedly showing instances of Pallywood in several comments — and they hadn’t bothered to fact-check the links. I don’t care that at some point in time, Palestinians have staged a scene. How did you arrive at that conclusion? Did you take literally every tweet on the matter at face-value? Then, as Destiny mentioned above, if the conclusion ends up being correct, “you don't get any credit at all for that.”
Example 2 - Hamas and the billions
For the second example, points 1, 5 and 6 are relevant. Destiny also attempted to fact-check the claim. The post that my submission is based on is when I first saw an indication that we were going to have a problem in terms of critical engagement with articles. The evidence that Khaled Mashal was worth $5bn all came down to what was tweeted by various Twitter accounts affiliated with the Israeli government. These accounts, in their eagerness to win the information war, will sometimes post misinformation. For example, the IDF’s Twitter account posted some footage from the Iranian missile and drone attacks against Israel; however, for some stupid fucking reason, whoever edited the compilation included a decade old clip obviously unrelated to those attacks.Per point 1, it may actually be the case that Mashal is that wealthy — but the process by which people arrived there was deeply flawed. As mentioned, the criticism is better directed (point 6) to the mere fact that he is ostentatiously wealthy, and there’s no need to commit yourself to figures that lack robust verification. Think back to Destiny's remarks about Breonna Taylor. Do you really want your argument -- the fact that Mashal is a reprehensible person who languishes in comfort while Palestinians suffer -- to be derailed?
Example 3 - Omar and the Armenian genocide
For the third example, points 2, 3, and 6 are relevant. The fact that Ilhan Omar denies the Armenian genocide is false, and OP omitted the rationale behind her vote, which leads to misplaced speculation on those who read the comment. Moreover, those who speculate won’t feel inclined to actually fact-check the comment as it is something that “feels right” based on their pre-existing beliefs on her. “Omar is a POS. This is a POS thing to do. It must be true.” Obviously, Omar is staunchly pro-Palestine, and she has an unsavoury history of making a series of controversial remarks about Israel [20] [21] [22], which many would argue rises to the level of blatant antisemitism. Regardless of whether or not you believe this is an accurate label, this is going to be the view held by many of the pro-Israel folk who come across OP’s comment, and that will influence the likelihood that they fall for misinformation. Curiously, despite addressing the comment when it had 60 upvotes, it continued to be upvoted. Finally, as I mentioned, the rationale for why she chose to vote in this manner can still be criticised, and that’s where the focus should be instead of relying on unsubstantiated claims.Example 4 - HRW
For the fourth example, points 1, 3, 4, and 5 are relevant. Clearly, no one read the article, and I have no doubt in my mind that I would have been one of the few here to actually click the article — which no one did as the claim was something that feels true, based on HRW’s long history in accusing Israel of human right’s violations. Per point 1, if HRW had accused Israel of committing a war crime over this, the article provided did not show this.This submission and comment is also an example of a charged topic: essentially, threads on highly contentious or egregious matters where emotions are running high, people are passionate, and there isn’t an immediate interest in calmly and rationally discussing the submission. The “nuance” tends to arrive several hours later.
Once again, the goal of this post is to incentivise more of a particular type of behaviour, not to say that said behaviour doesn’t exist anywhere in the subreddit or thread. In other words, the fact that the nuance is present further down in the thread, where someone links a Ryan McBeth video which offers some fair criticism, is good; all I’m saying is the good thing ought to happen sooner.
Headlines and outlets
Before I get to my next example, I need to talk about headlines. “NYT has been an utter travesty all the way through. Leading source of misinformation when it comes to Israel-Gaza.” If I asked you where that quote came from, you’d probably be tempted to say it was some pro-Israel individual or organization, rightfully irritated at the instances where NYT has dropped the ball in terms of their reporting — such as, quite infamously by now, their misreporting on who was responsible for the explosion at the al-Ahli hospital. The quote actually comes from Ryan Grim, an individual who, apparently, still believes that Israel was ultimately responsible for the aforementioned explosion.Whenever I see someone complaining about an NYT headline on some event in the I-P conflict, it’s basically a coins flip on whether or not the complaint is coming from a pro-Israel or pro-Palestine individual. It’s not only headlines, of course, the pro-Palestine complaints also include the language the NYT uses to describe violence from a particular side; which sources they choose to take direct quotes from; the disposition of their op-eds; and protests even flooded into the lobby of the NYT building earlier this year.
None of these complaints are exclusive to the NYT. BBC headlines will also catch their ire [23] [24]; it is the “most depraved genocidal propaganda rag in the world” (I think you can guess who that comes from without even clicking); they’re “absolute ghouls” because they didn’t mention who launched a particular drone strike in their headline; it was scandalous when they originally called Refaat Alareer (yes, that guy) a controversial writer; and so on.
Now, I’m not bringing this all up to make some galaxy-brained assessment where if it is the case that an outlet is receiving criticism from both sides in their coverage, then they must be doing something “right” — which is something the BBC themselves have mentioned is not the case. [25] The fact that the BBC receives a 50-50 split in complaints relating to its coverage of the Israel-Gaza war does not mean the complaints/criticisms are of equal merit. [26] [27]
What I merely wish to highlight here is that it can be challenging to comprehensively critique the coverage from an outlet if you’re not consuming their output on a daily basis, and thus you might only encounter instances where their reporting has been flawed. The BBC is not an outlet I regularly check for world news, and I’m not actively seeking out their reporting on I-P. I would imagine that also holds true for most of y’all.
BBC
You most likely heard about the BBC’s international editor acknowledging that his coverage of the al-Ahli hospital was “wrong” but that he doesn’t have regrets over the reporting — which is obviously a very foolish thing to say. It’s the sort of thing Israeli outlets are keen to report on, rightly so. You might hear about the Hamas official who stormed out of a BBC interview, which was similarly reported on by Israeli outlets.What you might not hear about is when the BBC’s editorial policy director acknowledged they made a mistake when their UK outlet did not cover South Africa’s ICJ case in a balanced manner, where Israel’s defence was broadcast in full, but only clips were shown from the opposite side as important domestic news took priority instead. Hypothetically, imagine if this was the other way around; you probably would hear about this as it would likely be reported on by some mainstream outlet, and perhaps even posted to a subreddit — not that there would be anything wrong with that.
Depending on what online spaces you inhabit, you might find that the negative qualities of an outlet’s coverage have been so overemphasised that you ultimately end with a distorted, inaccurate view on what their output truly looks like — and that’s going to influence how you might engage with aspects of their output when you encounter it in the future. It can lead to some very uncharitable readings on headlines, articles, content, interviews, etc., where there’s criticism to be made, but it’s made in the wrong direction. In some cases, however, we’re not dealing with uncharitable readings, we’re wrestling with sloppy work.
Traveling Israel
Traveling Israel is a staunchly pro-Israel channel, where the YouTuber has “butted heads” against Lonerbox on a few occasions [28] [29], but refuses to actually debate LB. I myself watched a video of TI a while ago, where he made a flawed analysis on a BBC headline. I will repost that comment:[Redacted because Reddit is silly. Just click the hyperlink.]
The fact of the matter is that most people who complain about some news outlet being "biased" are actually upset that the outlet is not biased enough to their side. These people also tend to focus on cherry-picking their examples, ignoring myriad examples where the coverage casts their side in a favourable light.I’ll amend the final paragraph here as saying “most” is too strong of a generalization, and my comment comes across as an indirect attack against those that are doing a worthy task in illustrating the egregious biases an outlet might have, such that some level of skepticism is warranted when it comes to original reporting. And, once again, for the reposted comment, remember point 1: If TI wishes to make the case that the BBC has the most anti-Israeli coverage in terms of international media, he’s more than welcome to do so, but the example he used to support his case is a poor one.
Click here for pain; also click here for part 2.
Alternatively, click here for a cute baby seal.Or this submission which was just a screenshot of a Vaush video. This is similar to Example 5 in this main post, where no source is given, and no one is interested in watching the video itself. There is absolutely a problem here with folk not being accurate in their criticisms.
Toodles.
2024.05.12 12:58 LastWeekInCollapse Last Week in Collapse: May 5-11, 2024
Russian forces are making a push, animal testing ramps up for H5N1, and over 365 days of temperature records…
Last Week in Collapse: May 5-11, 2024
This is Last Week in Collapse, a weekly newsletter compiling some of the most important, timely, useful, soul-crushing, ironic, stunning, exhausting, or otherwise must-see/can’t-look-away moments in Collapse.
This is the 124th newsletter. You can find the April 28-May 4 edition here if you missed it last week. You can also receive these posts (with images) every Sunday in your email inbox with Substack.
——————————
Earth experienced its largest CO2 concentration increase over a 12-month period, scientists say, from March 2023-2024. It was a jump of 4.7ppm more of carbon dioxide, blamed on deforestation, fossil fuels, and El Niño. Experts are saying that El Niño has peaked, and will transition to La Niña within a few months. La Niña lasts about 1-3 years, and it generally cools the Pacific Ocean, and brings more rain to India & Bangladesh, among other changes. Earth also experienced its greatest atmospheric moisture for the month of April.
Venezuela has lost its last glacier, the Humboldt, which was reclassified into an “ice field.” It is the first modern nation to lose all its glaciers. Scientists believe Indonesia, Mexico, and Slovenia are next in line to see the extinction of their glaciers. Colombia is also rapidly losing its remaining 6 glaciers.
Wildfires in Chile have killed about a hundred people, and injured & displaced thousands. Flooding in Afghanistan. And climate change is ruining cotton crops, and livestock, in Chad. Plus, flooding struck the DRC, overflowing rivers and latrines—affecting some 500,000 people. And some climatologists think we have been underestimating how much climate change is driving greater rainfall & flooding; the worst is yet to come.
The first week of May saw so many temperature records broken; some are claiming that it might be the “most record breaking month in climatic history”—until June, that is. Earth has been seeing 13 months of monthly records being broken for global sea surface temperatures. Literally 365 days of record-breaking ocean temperatures.
A study in PNAS examined North Pacific “warm blob” heat waves from 2010-2020, and concluded that China’s reduction in aerosols, which cleaned the air but also removed the sun-reflective particles, incidentally probably caused marine heat waves which killed fish and resulted in algae blooms.
Bees are having difficulty acclimatizing their nests to rising temperatures. The dugong, while still rarely seen in parts of the world, has been declared extinct inside China, having gone 24 years without a known sighting. In Florida, the suburbification of land under development is pushing the Florida panther closer to extinction; some 100 panthers remain in the sunshine state.
Siberia’s Batagaika crater—I prefer its alternative title, “megaslump”—is expanding by about 1M cubic meters, every year. Scientists naturally blame the rapid permafrost melting on climate change.
A cruise ship entered New York City with an endangered 44 ft {13.4m} dead sea whale stuck on its bow (front). Investigators are looking into whether it was already dead when the ship hit it. A study in Conservation Letters looked at the 100 largest Marine Protected Areas (MPAs)—which cover 7.3% of all ocean area—and found that almost 60% of this area is not in range of meeting the 2030 preservation goals.
Part of India broke May records already; the Maldives, too. Eastern Ukraine ended a far warmer & wetter April than usual. And a heat wave in Mexico scorched previous May temperature records across 10 cities, as well as small regional blackouts. North America felt its all-time hottest May temperature...
——————————
AstraZeneca is pulling its COVID vaccine from the EU over a rare blood clooting side effect. Nevertheless, some experts claim that vaccine saved over 6M lives. Whatever U.S. CDC data on COVID is still available points to “a small rise” in cases later this summer, mostly from the growing KP.2 “FLiRT” variant.
COVID patients and immunocompromised individuals are still using lots of healthcare resources, and the rise of resistant superbugs is developing alarmingly fast. According to the article, “It only takes about a year on average for bacteria to grow resistant to treatment, when they used to take 21 years to evolve back in the 1960s.”
Engineers and medical professionals remain concerned about nanoplastics, between 1-1,000 nanometers wide. One grain of sand is about 500,000 nanometers, and one strand of DNA is about 2.5 nanometers. A single wavelength of light ranges from 400-700 nanometers.
South Africa’s water shortage is projected to worsen through at least 2025. Nairobi’s water shortage continues, despite the city’s dams being filled with floodwater. Costa Rica is facing a Drought so bad it’s rationing electricity. Mexico City—the second-most-populous city (by metro area: 21.8M; São Paolo is #1, at 22M) in North America— is seeing more than 20% of freshwater sources exhausted, and rationing is not enough. It’s almost like we’re living at unsustainable levels of consumption…
As Latin America warms (and suffers flooding), disease is becoming more common—as well as heat stroke & serious hunger. Benin is refusing Niger the permission to use its port to export oil, as a result of a border dispute.
A paywalled study in Nature Water tested a new method for removing PFAS foam particles in water, with “near-complete destruction of PFAS in various water samples contaminated by the foams.” The process involves “ultra-violet (UV) light, sulfite, and a process called electrochemical oxidation” and does not require heat or high pressure. The number of U.S. states phasing out PFAS is growing.
As forcible repatriations of thousands of Afghans continue, millions of Afghans are suffering from lack of humanitarian aid—aggravated by recent deadly flash floods in the beleaguered, landlocked, failed state.
Yeasty superfungus Candida Auris infections were detected in 77 cases in Germany last year, authorities say. Candida Auris was only identified 15 years ago, but its three separate genetic variants (each on a different continent) have stealthily and stubbornly grown to pose a stealth threat to humankind. It is incredibly resistant to antifungal drugs, and it survives at higher temperatures than most other fungi. The WHO has listed it on a shortlist of top fungal pathogen dangers.
3 cats died from H5N1 in the United States last week. Some health professionals are getting more worried about a future H5N1 jump to become human-to-human transmissible, and claim that we are not ready as a species. Experts say we are not doing enough testing, and may already be in the prologue of a much more devastating pandemic. Scientists still say it is unlikely that a strain will make the critical mutation necessary, but the similarities between human and cow (and other mammal) flu receptors present potential complications.
The world is supposedly being divided into three general trade blocs: U.S., China, and the non-aligned states. For better or worse, globalization is crumbling, and governments are imposing tariffs, attempting to reshore industries, and restructure debt & credit flows. What will happen when the people, long-trained to expect high returns, find their profits wanting?
——————————
Two camps for internally displaced people near Goma, DRC were bombed, killing 12+ and injuring 20+. The perpetrators and their motives are unclear.
Rising crime. Drinking water. Closing the Darien Gap. These were the issues propelling Panama’s president-elect to a victory last Sunday. The arrival of rain is also improving conditions on the Drought-choken Panama Canal, expected to return to normal for at least a month or two.
A wave of Chinese espionage, much of it several years old, is sweeping Europe. Of particular concern is a hack of British military personnel information uncovered on Tuesday—which China denies. Similar espionage against the U.S. has reportedly cost the economy hundreds of billions per year.
Kenya’s mission to stabilize Haiti is inching forward slowly. The Pentagon has ordered its 1,000 troops to leave Niger. At least one Saudi villager was killed to make room for The Line, and reports claim Saudi forces have been given the green light to clear other people who get in the way of the development. Germany’s Defence Ministry is seriously considering recommending conscription for its 18-year olds later this summer.
Displacement in Myanmar has spiked over the past six months—and now counts 3M+ people since the February 2021 coup which sparked more open resistance.
Tunisia ejected ~400 migrants into Libya. Kazakhstan is expelling Tajik migrants in far-ranging sweeps. In Lebanon, vigilante attacks against Syrians have become more common. Mauritania is conducting military drills along part of its border with Mali, after reports emerged of Malian soldiers attacking border settlements.
In Sudan, over 200 witnesses corroborated reports of a massacre last June, where RSF insurgents piled up and shot” at least 17 people, most of whom were children. A lengthy report from Human Rights Watch, complete with timelines, testimony, war crimes, and other horrors from Sudan is over 150 pages. I did not have the fortitude to skim much of it.
A Hamas attack on Sunday, which killed 4 Israeli soldiers, reportedly pushed the Rafah invasion ahead of schedule. The IDF took over the Egypt-Gaza border, and is scaling up operations in southern Gaza. In response, the U.S. paused arms transfers to Israel. Any chance of a ceasefire, if there was ever really a credible chance, will have to wait. Diarrhea is soaring in Gaza, due in large part to a critical water shortage, caused by the destruction of wastewater treatment plants, the damage to water infrastructure, and large-scale displacement. A new evacuation order has commanded over 1M people in Gaza to leave before a more comprehensive invasion of Rafah begins.
A day after President Putin was inaugurated for his fifth term, he ordered a wide strike at Ukrainian infrastructure across seven oblasts. Most of the missiles and drones were shot down. And another plot to assassinate Zelenskyy was foiled. Lithuania is considering sending military trainers into Ukraine. Putin announced that Russian forces would target Western soldiers deployed in Ukraine, and begin drills simulating nuclear weapons if Britain’s involvement grows. Already, Belarus conducted a military drill with missiles & planes capable of using nukes.
In addition to extending Ukraine’s mobilization by another 90 days, the government has also allowing some convicts to fight on the battlefield in exchange for reduced sentences. Poland is allegedly considering repatriating thousands of draft-eligible Ukrainian men, and Germany is emphasizing the need for Ukrainian refugees to work.
Japan is boosting investment in a hypersonic missile interceptor project with the United States. A large-scale Russian offensive has begun across the front-lines, particularly around Kharkiv. And Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs is beginning talk of a “genocide” in Moldova, which could provide the pretext for another special military operation in Transnistria—and perhaps beyond.
——————————
Things to watch out for next week include:
↠ The IDMC is releasing their 2024 report on Internally Displaced People (IDPs) on Tuesday, with estimates for total figures by nation & region.
Select comments/threads from the subreddit last week suggest:
-High temperatures are going to ruin food—and a lot of people’s health. This thread about the contamination of bánh mi in Vietnam sheds some light on the interconnectivity of our problems. Add in some heat wave-induced power outages, loose government regulation, and hospital problems, and you can imagine how this slow-moving disaster can cripple a community.
-“Microforests” may help mitigate some of the effects of ecosystem collapse and desertification—as well as boosting your property value, judging by this thread and its comments.
-One Collapsenik published a free ebook & audiobook satirizing American Collapse—and I’m not just linking because this newsletter was apparently a source of Doom inspiration. If you write an 80,000 word novel about Collapse, featuring some 300 references, I’ll share it too. Maybe one day I’ll have the time to write one…
Got any feedback, questions, comments, complaints, upvotes, movie recommendations, good off-grid land deals, locust broth, etc.? Check out the Last Week in Collapse SubStack if you don’t want to check collapse every Sunday, you can receive this newsletter sent to your (or someone else’s) email inbox every weekend. What did I forget this week?
submitted by LastWeekInCollapse to collapse [link] [comments]
Last Week in Collapse: May 5-11, 2024
This is Last Week in Collapse, a weekly newsletter compiling some of the most important, timely, useful, soul-crushing, ironic, stunning, exhausting, or otherwise must-see/can’t-look-away moments in Collapse.
This is the 124th newsletter. You can find the April 28-May 4 edition here if you missed it last week. You can also receive these posts (with images) every Sunday in your email inbox with Substack.
——————————
Earth experienced its largest CO2 concentration increase over a 12-month period, scientists say, from March 2023-2024. It was a jump of 4.7ppm more of carbon dioxide, blamed on deforestation, fossil fuels, and El Niño. Experts are saying that El Niño has peaked, and will transition to La Niña within a few months. La Niña lasts about 1-3 years, and it generally cools the Pacific Ocean, and brings more rain to India & Bangladesh, among other changes. Earth also experienced its greatest atmospheric moisture for the month of April.
Venezuela has lost its last glacier, the Humboldt, which was reclassified into an “ice field.” It is the first modern nation to lose all its glaciers. Scientists believe Indonesia, Mexico, and Slovenia are next in line to see the extinction of their glaciers. Colombia is also rapidly losing its remaining 6 glaciers.
Wildfires in Chile have killed about a hundred people, and injured & displaced thousands. Flooding in Afghanistan. And climate change is ruining cotton crops, and livestock, in Chad. Plus, flooding struck the DRC, overflowing rivers and latrines—affecting some 500,000 people. And some climatologists think we have been underestimating how much climate change is driving greater rainfall & flooding; the worst is yet to come.
The first week of May saw so many temperature records broken; some are claiming that it might be the “most record breaking month in climatic history”—until June, that is. Earth has been seeing 13 months of monthly records being broken for global sea surface temperatures. Literally 365 days of record-breaking ocean temperatures.
A study in PNAS examined North Pacific “warm blob” heat waves from 2010-2020, and concluded that China’s reduction in aerosols, which cleaned the air but also removed the sun-reflective particles, incidentally probably caused marine heat waves which killed fish and resulted in algae blooms.
Bees are having difficulty acclimatizing their nests to rising temperatures. The dugong, while still rarely seen in parts of the world, has been declared extinct inside China, having gone 24 years without a known sighting. In Florida, the suburbification of land under development is pushing the Florida panther closer to extinction; some 100 panthers remain in the sunshine state.
Siberia’s Batagaika crater—I prefer its alternative title, “megaslump”—is expanding by about 1M cubic meters, every year. Scientists naturally blame the rapid permafrost melting on climate change.
A cruise ship entered New York City with an endangered 44 ft {13.4m} dead sea whale stuck on its bow (front). Investigators are looking into whether it was already dead when the ship hit it. A study in Conservation Letters looked at the 100 largest Marine Protected Areas (MPAs)—which cover 7.3% of all ocean area—and found that almost 60% of this area is not in range of meeting the 2030 preservation goals.
Part of India broke May records already; the Maldives, too. Eastern Ukraine ended a far warmer & wetter April than usual. And a heat wave in Mexico scorched previous May temperature records across 10 cities, as well as small regional blackouts. North America felt its all-time hottest May temperature...
——————————
AstraZeneca is pulling its COVID vaccine from the EU over a rare blood clooting side effect. Nevertheless, some experts claim that vaccine saved over 6M lives. Whatever U.S. CDC data on COVID is still available points to “a small rise” in cases later this summer, mostly from the growing KP.2 “FLiRT” variant.
COVID patients and immunocompromised individuals are still using lots of healthcare resources, and the rise of resistant superbugs is developing alarmingly fast. According to the article, “It only takes about a year on average for bacteria to grow resistant to treatment, when they used to take 21 years to evolve back in the 1960s.”
Engineers and medical professionals remain concerned about nanoplastics, between 1-1,000 nanometers wide. One grain of sand is about 500,000 nanometers, and one strand of DNA is about 2.5 nanometers. A single wavelength of light ranges from 400-700 nanometers.
South Africa’s water shortage is projected to worsen through at least 2025. Nairobi’s water shortage continues, despite the city’s dams being filled with floodwater. Costa Rica is facing a Drought so bad it’s rationing electricity. Mexico City—the second-most-populous city (by metro area: 21.8M; São Paolo is #1, at 22M) in North America— is seeing more than 20% of freshwater sources exhausted, and rationing is not enough. It’s almost like we’re living at unsustainable levels of consumption…
As Latin America warms (and suffers flooding), disease is becoming more common—as well as heat stroke & serious hunger. Benin is refusing Niger the permission to use its port to export oil, as a result of a border dispute.
A paywalled study in Nature Water tested a new method for removing PFAS foam particles in water, with “near-complete destruction of PFAS in various water samples contaminated by the foams.” The process involves “ultra-violet (UV) light, sulfite, and a process called electrochemical oxidation” and does not require heat or high pressure. The number of U.S. states phasing out PFAS is growing.
As forcible repatriations of thousands of Afghans continue, millions of Afghans are suffering from lack of humanitarian aid—aggravated by recent deadly flash floods in the beleaguered, landlocked, failed state.
Yeasty superfungus Candida Auris infections were detected in 77 cases in Germany last year, authorities say. Candida Auris was only identified 15 years ago, but its three separate genetic variants (each on a different continent) have stealthily and stubbornly grown to pose a stealth threat to humankind. It is incredibly resistant to antifungal drugs, and it survives at higher temperatures than most other fungi. The WHO has listed it on a shortlist of top fungal pathogen dangers.
3 cats died from H5N1 in the United States last week. Some health professionals are getting more worried about a future H5N1 jump to become human-to-human transmissible, and claim that we are not ready as a species. Experts say we are not doing enough testing, and may already be in the prologue of a much more devastating pandemic. Scientists still say it is unlikely that a strain will make the critical mutation necessary, but the similarities between human and cow (and other mammal) flu receptors present potential complications.
The world is supposedly being divided into three general trade blocs: U.S., China, and the non-aligned states. For better or worse, globalization is crumbling, and governments are imposing tariffs, attempting to reshore industries, and restructure debt & credit flows. What will happen when the people, long-trained to expect high returns, find their profits wanting?
——————————
Two camps for internally displaced people near Goma, DRC were bombed, killing 12+ and injuring 20+. The perpetrators and their motives are unclear.
Rising crime. Drinking water. Closing the Darien Gap. These were the issues propelling Panama’s president-elect to a victory last Sunday. The arrival of rain is also improving conditions on the Drought-choken Panama Canal, expected to return to normal for at least a month or two.
A wave of Chinese espionage, much of it several years old, is sweeping Europe. Of particular concern is a hack of British military personnel information uncovered on Tuesday—which China denies. Similar espionage against the U.S. has reportedly cost the economy hundreds of billions per year.
Kenya’s mission to stabilize Haiti is inching forward slowly. The Pentagon has ordered its 1,000 troops to leave Niger. At least one Saudi villager was killed to make room for The Line, and reports claim Saudi forces have been given the green light to clear other people who get in the way of the development. Germany’s Defence Ministry is seriously considering recommending conscription for its 18-year olds later this summer.
Displacement in Myanmar has spiked over the past six months—and now counts 3M+ people since the February 2021 coup which sparked more open resistance.
Tunisia ejected ~400 migrants into Libya. Kazakhstan is expelling Tajik migrants in far-ranging sweeps. In Lebanon, vigilante attacks against Syrians have become more common. Mauritania is conducting military drills along part of its border with Mali, after reports emerged of Malian soldiers attacking border settlements.
In Sudan, over 200 witnesses corroborated reports of a massacre last June, where RSF insurgents piled up and shot” at least 17 people, most of whom were children. A lengthy report from Human Rights Watch, complete with timelines, testimony, war crimes, and other horrors from Sudan is over 150 pages. I did not have the fortitude to skim much of it.
A Hamas attack on Sunday, which killed 4 Israeli soldiers, reportedly pushed the Rafah invasion ahead of schedule. The IDF took over the Egypt-Gaza border, and is scaling up operations in southern Gaza. In response, the U.S. paused arms transfers to Israel. Any chance of a ceasefire, if there was ever really a credible chance, will have to wait. Diarrhea is soaring in Gaza, due in large part to a critical water shortage, caused by the destruction of wastewater treatment plants, the damage to water infrastructure, and large-scale displacement. A new evacuation order has commanded over 1M people in Gaza to leave before a more comprehensive invasion of Rafah begins.
A day after President Putin was inaugurated for his fifth term, he ordered a wide strike at Ukrainian infrastructure across seven oblasts. Most of the missiles and drones were shot down. And another plot to assassinate Zelenskyy was foiled. Lithuania is considering sending military trainers into Ukraine. Putin announced that Russian forces would target Western soldiers deployed in Ukraine, and begin drills simulating nuclear weapons if Britain’s involvement grows. Already, Belarus conducted a military drill with missiles & planes capable of using nukes.
In addition to extending Ukraine’s mobilization by another 90 days, the government has also allowing some convicts to fight on the battlefield in exchange for reduced sentences. Poland is allegedly considering repatriating thousands of draft-eligible Ukrainian men, and Germany is emphasizing the need for Ukrainian refugees to work.
Japan is boosting investment in a hypersonic missile interceptor project with the United States. A large-scale Russian offensive has begun across the front-lines, particularly around Kharkiv. And Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs is beginning talk of a “genocide” in Moldova, which could provide the pretext for another special military operation in Transnistria—and perhaps beyond.
——————————
Things to watch out for next week include:
↠ The IDMC is releasing their 2024 report on Internally Displaced People (IDPs) on Tuesday, with estimates for total figures by nation & region.
Select comments/threads from the subreddit last week suggest:
-High temperatures are going to ruin food—and a lot of people’s health. This thread about the contamination of bánh mi in Vietnam sheds some light on the interconnectivity of our problems. Add in some heat wave-induced power outages, loose government regulation, and hospital problems, and you can imagine how this slow-moving disaster can cripple a community.
-“Microforests” may help mitigate some of the effects of ecosystem collapse and desertification—as well as boosting your property value, judging by this thread and its comments.
-One Collapsenik published a free ebook & audiobook satirizing American Collapse—and I’m not just linking because this newsletter was apparently a source of Doom inspiration. If you write an 80,000 word novel about Collapse, featuring some 300 references, I’ll share it too. Maybe one day I’ll have the time to write one…
Got any feedback, questions, comments, complaints, upvotes, movie recommendations, good off-grid land deals, locust broth, etc.? Check out the Last Week in Collapse SubStack if you don’t want to check collapse every Sunday, you can receive this newsletter sent to your (or someone else’s) email inbox every weekend. What did I forget this week?
2024.05.11 16:10 kenUdigitt Novel Chapter 407
Disclaimer: I do not speak Korean. This is purely translated by machine with a lot of cleanup afterward. With that in mind, I am open to criticism to improve these translations. Enjoy!
Chapter 407
Daniel Inoue is a Japanese-American.
He served as a Navy SEAL and awakened as an A-rank Hunter at the age of thirty. After retiring from the military, he found employment in a private military company where he fully utilized his capabilities.
Mercenary work suited Inoue to an extent. Though it required spending half the year in Middle Eastern and African conflict zones, the high pay and extended downtime compensated well.
This time, however, he was sent to the monster wave in China.
「Hey, Ninja. What are you thinking about?」
Inoue squinted at his colleague's abrupt inquiry.
「Shut up, Sam. Aren’t you tired of that damn Ninja bullshit?」
「So what. You should be used to it by now.」
「It's annoying. Try being called Ninja or Samurai since you were seven. It's maddening.」
「I think it would be cool.」
「Damn Yankee bastard.」
「Thanks for that. I'm a Yankees fan, you know.」
A slight Caucasian man chuckled at Inoue's complaints.
「Just accept it. It must be fate. Your abilities are exactly like those of a ninja.」
「Damn it.」
Inoue whispered a curse to himself.
Indeed, the powers Inoue gained post-awakening were geared toward stealth.
This branded him as a ninja, making him a master of espionage and assassination.
「Didn’t you say your girlfriend is pregnant? How about Naruto for the baby's name?」
Inoue flipped him off.
「I'll think about it if you name your son Sasuke.」
「Oh, not bad.」
Their banter provoked laughter among their peers.
The previously tense atmosphere lightened, and Inoue and his colleague exchanged brief smiles.
They had been partners for years; their recent banter was almost a routine to defuse stress before their mission.
'Being too tense usually leads to mistakes.'
This was true for combat, but even more so for espionage missions like this.
In a land where neither communication nor magic was possible, and the adversary was not a foolish and cruel rebel leader but the unprecedented monster wave triggered by the Arch Lich.
'Regardless of how favorable the situation appears, you cannot be complacent.'
Inoue, lost in thought, addressed the twenty intelligence agents gathered before him.
「Alright, from now on, we'll split into pairs for infiltration. Communication will be through hand signals, and if it's urgent, fire the flare you have. You've all memorized your objectives and routes thoroughly, haven't you?」
「Yes.」
「Good, then... let's meet back here in three hours. Dismissed.」
As Inoue initiated the operation, the agents nodded and dispersed swiftly in various directions, vanishing into the shadows. Sam, Inoue's partner, motioned subtly with his chin.
「Shall we get going too, Ninja?」
「Yeah, you damn comfortable Yankee.」
「Don't be like that. Your skills are the best. In three hours, you'll probably even know the color of the Arch Lich's underwear.」
「...I really hope so.」
Inoue exhaled quietly and began to move through the thick, damp fog enveloping Suining City.
* * *
The forward march of the five fronts had stalled.
200 km from Suining City, near the Arch Lich's stronghold, a familiar face approached our reorganized and resting group.
「Korean friends, how have you been?」
I felt a significant surge of energy nearby, which turned out to be him. I fist-bumped Magic Johnson in response.
"Fairly well."
「Jin. My lovely miracle boy. I've missed you.」
"Sorry, but could you drop the 'lovely'?"
「Then I'll call you Crazy Boy. After all, you did do something crazy.」
Magic Johnson grinned and added,
「It was a heroically daring act. Just like Choi here.」
Mr. Choi, who was carefully tending to the [Hero's Soul], bowed his head slightly.
"It's good to see you again, Mr. Johnson."
「Choi, don't be so stiff.」
"......!"
"......!"
「Of course, I meant the atmosphere.」
Magic Johnson laughed heartily.
At this point, it was clear he was enjoying our reactions. Although on the outside he didn't look it, inside he was full of mischief.
We knew by now that everything was a joke to him.
Mr. Choi, habitually engaging in Kegel exercises whenever we met Magic Johnson, chuckled and inquired.
"What brings you here?"
「Urgent summons from the headquarters. It's an important matter.」
I suddenly furrowed my brows and muttered,
"It feels like déjà vu. Haven’t we seen this unfold before?"
「Don't worry, Jin. It won't be like last time.」
Last time referred to the incident where the fronts were attacked while the S-rank Hunters were deployed elsewhere.
Now, with the fronts consolidated, even if an incident arises, we're close enough to manage effectively.
'If they're not using communications, it must be a very important matter.'
As our allied forces gained ground and the monsters retreated, the Arch Lich's territory had shrunk to just Suining City. So now, both communications and magic were fully operational.
"Do you know why we're gathering?"
「No. But I can assure you, it's not going to be something pleasant. I'd stake my life on it.」
"..."
Please, don’t make life-and-death promises over such things. Offer us some optimism.
Yet the ever-assured Magic Johnson extended his hand to me and Mr. Choi.
「Anyway, everyone's already there. You're the last guests.」
"Then please, Mr. Johnson."
Mr. Choi grasped his hand without hesitation, and knowing Magic Johnson’s teleportation well, I shuddered as I clasped his fingers.
"Please ensure a safe travel...... Aaagh!"
Swoosh.
It felt like I was being crushed like a soda can, and then being hurled through space.
"Aaaaagh..."
"..."
"..."
Damn it. Why here of all places?
With roughly ten pairs of eyes quietly scrutinizing me, including the astonished stares of S-rank Hunters and high-ranking Chinese generals, I ceased my screaming and discreetly took a seat.
"Shall we start the meeting?"
After a brief pause, Wei Feng-Hu, the Minister of Defense, spoke up.
「…Then let's begin the meeting.」
The meeting primarily revolved around the testimony of the sole surviving member of the intelligence team.
「Daniel Inoue, who was in charge of the intelligence team, has reportedly escaped from Suining City after exceeding the planned operation time by eight hours. He discovered a monster legion numbering around 30,000.」
30,000...
It's a substantial force, yet it falls within our anticipated parameters.
The Arch Lich's monster legion began its retreat a week prior, enduring substantial casualties.
"Judging by the expression on the Minister of National Defense's face, it seems that's not everything."
Few here could address Wei Feng-Hu, the Minister of National Defense, with such ease.
And Lee Jeong-Ryong, my personal feelings aside, certainly had the standing to do so.
「Mr. Lee's point is correct. We estimated 30,000 based on direct observation, but the actual number could be...」
"Twice that, perhaps even more."
「That's right.」
"…Hmm."
Whispers spread across the room. We suspected they had held back forces for a final stand, but not to this magnitude.
Wei Feng-Hu spoke gravely,
「However, most of the monsters are of medium or low rank. That's somewhat comforting.」
「That's true for us as well, Wei Feng-Hu.」
Prince Felix nodded at Fei Chen’s remark, who was quietly sipping her drink.
「Just as she says. Although a lot of forces have joined us, victory is not yet certain.」
「Damn it. No matter how many of those monsters you kill, they just don't end.」
I couldn't help but laught at Wu Hei-Xing's grumbling.
「Why are you laughing?」
"Because it's funny, friend."
「What?」
"People might think you've been fighting hard if they heard you. You're the bastard who tried to detour during the monster legion attack a week ago because it seemed too risky."
"…!"
His expression was priceless.
Apparently, Wu Hei-Xing thought his cowardice had gone unnoticed, but his disgrace was already well-known across all fronts.
"I know you've had it tough, but don’t whine in front of me or anyone else. It's annoying."
「Eek...!」
"Are you a businessman? Why do you keep squeaking about profits?" [Note: the sound that Wu Hei-Xing made sounds like an "Eek", but can also translate to "profit" in Korean.]
Wu Hei-Xing, red with rage, twitched as if ready to lunge, but he restrained himself at the last moment.
The sting of defeat lingers.
A plant coddled and cherished throughout its life will falter even under a mild chill.
However, there are plants of a wholly different nature.
For example... Mr. Choi, who is currently seated beside me.
"Both of you, stop."
Wu Hei-Xing glanced at Mr. Choi, who was attempting to calm him with a composed voice, and scoffed.
「Are you ordering me around?」
"I'm sorry if you took it that way, Wu Hei-Xing."
「You...」
Unwavering, Mr. Choi’s calm demeanor prompted Wu Hei-Xing to rise sharply.
Or, at least, he attempted to.
"Sit down."
「...!」
The authority in the command rooted him to his spot.
The eyes of other S-rank Hunters shifted towards me in astonishment.
I met Lee Jeong-Ryong's intense gaze briefly and clarified.
"Just so there's no misunderstanding, that was an order."
「Y-you...!」
"Sit down. This is the last warning."
Swoosh!
The surge of energy caused Wu Hei-Xing’s lower lip to quiver.
He might even be considered a prodigy in the realm of Murim.
Certainly, achieving S-rank Hunter status in his thirties indicates notable prowess.
'But it's only half-baked.'
Awakening is akin to a sudden windfall. He won the lottery and was endowed with exceptional abilities and mana as soon as he turned twenty.
But what would happen if such a person did not cultivate his Qi and fiercly practice Transcendent martial arts techniques like a traditional martial artist would?
While mastering martial arts might enhance his technical abilities, he is likely to falter before achieving such proficiency.
His dedication and resolve are third-rate compared to his innate talent.
"Stop it."
It was the calm, resonant voice of Lee Jeong-Ryong that cut through the tension.
Despite being well into his sixties, the snake appeared middle-aged. His face was tinged with amusement as he stared at me.
"I thought you had only grown in skill, but your murderous intent has deepened as well."
I met his gaze with indifferent eyes and replied,
"As I was rolling around from place to place, I've become more poisonous."
"I've heard that the western front was particularly fierce."
"That's not incorrect. Would you like to visit the western front?"
"I must respectfully decline. Imagine how fierce it must have been if only three survived."
"…!"
"The older I get, the more scared I become. Haha."
A chill ran through my veins.
Visions of that dreadful day flashed before me, and unwittingly, a faint smile crossed my lips.
"What are you trying to say?"
"Rather than harboring hostility among allies, let's think about something more productive. We should strategize for the final battle. Jin Tae-Kyung, what do you think?"
I tapped the armrest of my chair lightly.
It was an uncomfortable realization, but Lee Jeong-Ryong was right on target.
It was time to address the imminent battle.
A strategy emerged in my thoughts.
"A suicide squad."
"A suicide squad?"
Eyes shifted towards me. Some nodded in agreement, others displayed unease.
Yet, both my reason and instinct told me:
This was the optimal strategy to minimize casualties and ensure victory.
"Let's gather the elites and strike at the head."
Once the Arch Lich is defeated, the undead legion will collapse.
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submitted by kenUdigitt to u/kenUdigitt [link] [comments]
Chapter 407
Daniel Inoue is a Japanese-American.
He served as a Navy SEAL and awakened as an A-rank Hunter at the age of thirty. After retiring from the military, he found employment in a private military company where he fully utilized his capabilities.
Mercenary work suited Inoue to an extent. Though it required spending half the year in Middle Eastern and African conflict zones, the high pay and extended downtime compensated well.
This time, however, he was sent to the monster wave in China.
「Hey, Ninja. What are you thinking about?」
Inoue squinted at his colleague's abrupt inquiry.
「Shut up, Sam. Aren’t you tired of that damn Ninja bullshit?」
「So what. You should be used to it by now.」
「It's annoying. Try being called Ninja or Samurai since you were seven. It's maddening.」
「I think it would be cool.」
「Damn Yankee bastard.」
「Thanks for that. I'm a Yankees fan, you know.」
A slight Caucasian man chuckled at Inoue's complaints.
「Just accept it. It must be fate. Your abilities are exactly like those of a ninja.」
「Damn it.」
Inoue whispered a curse to himself.
Indeed, the powers Inoue gained post-awakening were geared toward stealth.
This branded him as a ninja, making him a master of espionage and assassination.
「Didn’t you say your girlfriend is pregnant? How about Naruto for the baby's name?」
Inoue flipped him off.
「I'll think about it if you name your son Sasuke.」
「Oh, not bad.」
Their banter provoked laughter among their peers.
The previously tense atmosphere lightened, and Inoue and his colleague exchanged brief smiles.
They had been partners for years; their recent banter was almost a routine to defuse stress before their mission.
'Being too tense usually leads to mistakes.'
This was true for combat, but even more so for espionage missions like this.
In a land where neither communication nor magic was possible, and the adversary was not a foolish and cruel rebel leader but the unprecedented monster wave triggered by the Arch Lich.
'Regardless of how favorable the situation appears, you cannot be complacent.'
Inoue, lost in thought, addressed the twenty intelligence agents gathered before him.
「Alright, from now on, we'll split into pairs for infiltration. Communication will be through hand signals, and if it's urgent, fire the flare you have. You've all memorized your objectives and routes thoroughly, haven't you?」
「Yes.」
「Good, then... let's meet back here in three hours. Dismissed.」
As Inoue initiated the operation, the agents nodded and dispersed swiftly in various directions, vanishing into the shadows. Sam, Inoue's partner, motioned subtly with his chin.
「Shall we get going too, Ninja?」
「Yeah, you damn comfortable Yankee.」
「Don't be like that. Your skills are the best. In three hours, you'll probably even know the color of the Arch Lich's underwear.」
「...I really hope so.」
Inoue exhaled quietly and began to move through the thick, damp fog enveloping Suining City.
* * *
The forward march of the five fronts had stalled.
200 km from Suining City, near the Arch Lich's stronghold, a familiar face approached our reorganized and resting group.
「Korean friends, how have you been?」
I felt a significant surge of energy nearby, which turned out to be him. I fist-bumped Magic Johnson in response.
"Fairly well."
「Jin. My lovely miracle boy. I've missed you.」
"Sorry, but could you drop the 'lovely'?"
「Then I'll call you Crazy Boy. After all, you did do something crazy.」
Magic Johnson grinned and added,
「It was a heroically daring act. Just like Choi here.」
Mr. Choi, who was carefully tending to the [Hero's Soul], bowed his head slightly.
"It's good to see you again, Mr. Johnson."
「Choi, don't be so stiff.」
"......!"
"......!"
「Of course, I meant the atmosphere.」
Magic Johnson laughed heartily.
At this point, it was clear he was enjoying our reactions. Although on the outside he didn't look it, inside he was full of mischief.
We knew by now that everything was a joke to him.
Mr. Choi, habitually engaging in Kegel exercises whenever we met Magic Johnson, chuckled and inquired.
"What brings you here?"
「Urgent summons from the headquarters. It's an important matter.」
I suddenly furrowed my brows and muttered,
"It feels like déjà vu. Haven’t we seen this unfold before?"
「Don't worry, Jin. It won't be like last time.」
Last time referred to the incident where the fronts were attacked while the S-rank Hunters were deployed elsewhere.
Now, with the fronts consolidated, even if an incident arises, we're close enough to manage effectively.
'If they're not using communications, it must be a very important matter.'
As our allied forces gained ground and the monsters retreated, the Arch Lich's territory had shrunk to just Suining City. So now, both communications and magic were fully operational.
"Do you know why we're gathering?"
「No. But I can assure you, it's not going to be something pleasant. I'd stake my life on it.」
"..."
Please, don’t make life-and-death promises over such things. Offer us some optimism.
Yet the ever-assured Magic Johnson extended his hand to me and Mr. Choi.
「Anyway, everyone's already there. You're the last guests.」
"Then please, Mr. Johnson."
Mr. Choi grasped his hand without hesitation, and knowing Magic Johnson’s teleportation well, I shuddered as I clasped his fingers.
"Please ensure a safe travel...... Aaagh!"
Swoosh.
It felt like I was being crushed like a soda can, and then being hurled through space.
"Aaaaagh..."
"..."
"..."
Damn it. Why here of all places?
With roughly ten pairs of eyes quietly scrutinizing me, including the astonished stares of S-rank Hunters and high-ranking Chinese generals, I ceased my screaming and discreetly took a seat.
"Shall we start the meeting?"
After a brief pause, Wei Feng-Hu, the Minister of Defense, spoke up.
「…Then let's begin the meeting.」
The meeting primarily revolved around the testimony of the sole surviving member of the intelligence team.
「Daniel Inoue, who was in charge of the intelligence team, has reportedly escaped from Suining City after exceeding the planned operation time by eight hours. He discovered a monster legion numbering around 30,000.」
30,000...
It's a substantial force, yet it falls within our anticipated parameters.
The Arch Lich's monster legion began its retreat a week prior, enduring substantial casualties.
"Judging by the expression on the Minister of National Defense's face, it seems that's not everything."
Few here could address Wei Feng-Hu, the Minister of National Defense, with such ease.
And Lee Jeong-Ryong, my personal feelings aside, certainly had the standing to do so.
「Mr. Lee's point is correct. We estimated 30,000 based on direct observation, but the actual number could be...」
"Twice that, perhaps even more."
「That's right.」
"…Hmm."
Whispers spread across the room. We suspected they had held back forces for a final stand, but not to this magnitude.
Wei Feng-Hu spoke gravely,
「However, most of the monsters are of medium or low rank. That's somewhat comforting.」
「That's true for us as well, Wei Feng-Hu.」
Prince Felix nodded at Fei Chen’s remark, who was quietly sipping her drink.
「Just as she says. Although a lot of forces have joined us, victory is not yet certain.」
「Damn it. No matter how many of those monsters you kill, they just don't end.」
I couldn't help but laught at Wu Hei-Xing's grumbling.
「Why are you laughing?」
"Because it's funny, friend."
「What?」
"People might think you've been fighting hard if they heard you. You're the bastard who tried to detour during the monster legion attack a week ago because it seemed too risky."
"…!"
His expression was priceless.
Apparently, Wu Hei-Xing thought his cowardice had gone unnoticed, but his disgrace was already well-known across all fronts.
"I know you've had it tough, but don’t whine in front of me or anyone else. It's annoying."
「Eek...!」
"Are you a businessman? Why do you keep squeaking about profits?" [Note: the sound that Wu Hei-Xing made sounds like an "Eek", but can also translate to "profit" in Korean.]
Wu Hei-Xing, red with rage, twitched as if ready to lunge, but he restrained himself at the last moment.
The sting of defeat lingers.
A plant coddled and cherished throughout its life will falter even under a mild chill.
However, there are plants of a wholly different nature.
For example... Mr. Choi, who is currently seated beside me.
"Both of you, stop."
Wu Hei-Xing glanced at Mr. Choi, who was attempting to calm him with a composed voice, and scoffed.
「Are you ordering me around?」
"I'm sorry if you took it that way, Wu Hei-Xing."
「You...」
Unwavering, Mr. Choi’s calm demeanor prompted Wu Hei-Xing to rise sharply.
Or, at least, he attempted to.
"Sit down."
「...!」
The authority in the command rooted him to his spot.
The eyes of other S-rank Hunters shifted towards me in astonishment.
I met Lee Jeong-Ryong's intense gaze briefly and clarified.
"Just so there's no misunderstanding, that was an order."
「Y-you...!」
"Sit down. This is the last warning."
Swoosh!
The surge of energy caused Wu Hei-Xing’s lower lip to quiver.
He might even be considered a prodigy in the realm of Murim.
Certainly, achieving S-rank Hunter status in his thirties indicates notable prowess.
'But it's only half-baked.'
Awakening is akin to a sudden windfall. He won the lottery and was endowed with exceptional abilities and mana as soon as he turned twenty.
But what would happen if such a person did not cultivate his Qi and fiercly practice Transcendent martial arts techniques like a traditional martial artist would?
While mastering martial arts might enhance his technical abilities, he is likely to falter before achieving such proficiency.
His dedication and resolve are third-rate compared to his innate talent.
"Stop it."
It was the calm, resonant voice of Lee Jeong-Ryong that cut through the tension.
Despite being well into his sixties, the snake appeared middle-aged. His face was tinged with amusement as he stared at me.
"I thought you had only grown in skill, but your murderous intent has deepened as well."
I met his gaze with indifferent eyes and replied,
"As I was rolling around from place to place, I've become more poisonous."
"I've heard that the western front was particularly fierce."
"That's not incorrect. Would you like to visit the western front?"
"I must respectfully decline. Imagine how fierce it must have been if only three survived."
"…!"
"The older I get, the more scared I become. Haha."
A chill ran through my veins.
Visions of that dreadful day flashed before me, and unwittingly, a faint smile crossed my lips.
"What are you trying to say?"
"Rather than harboring hostility among allies, let's think about something more productive. We should strategize for the final battle. Jin Tae-Kyung, what do you think?"
I tapped the armrest of my chair lightly.
It was an uncomfortable realization, but Lee Jeong-Ryong was right on target.
It was time to address the imminent battle.
A strategy emerged in my thoughts.
"A suicide squad."
"A suicide squad?"
Eyes shifted towards me. Some nodded in agreement, others displayed unease.
Yet, both my reason and instinct told me:
This was the optimal strategy to minimize casualties and ensure victory.
"Let's gather the elites and strike at the head."
Once the Arch Lich is defeated, the undead legion will collapse.
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2024.05.11 03:47 Woody-Sailor-DM A Brief History of the (recently) Unnamed Adventuring Company
From the beginning...
Cast
“I don’t think you can afford me,” the young man says, slightly nervously. He shuffles a foot. “You should just go.”
“Just gives us a moment, would you?” Arthur asks, raising his hand in a vaguely placating way. The team withdraws to the far end of the wide stone porch. The porch acts as an entryway to the tunnel beyond the odd young human with red hair. The archway is large and imposing, and is covered with random scratched runes, like graffiti. The porch likewise is etched and carved, but in a more artistic manner. There is a single stone step that encircles (ensquares?) the stone slab that acts as a porch, and a few stone steps that lead up to the porch before they disappear into the dirt and weeds of the slight rise. The porch is not large, but the team steps back to the edge and speaks in low whispers.
“We should just go,” Dillium whispers. “We don’t need anything from here.”
“We have given our word to the dwarves. Well, the one dwarf. [1] He seemed to think bad things would occur should the forge was re-kindled,” Arthur replies in a low voice. Does Arthur even know how to whisper?
“Shouldn’t we have asked why the forge was abandoned to begin with?” whispers Zander.
“I say we don’t go in, but we set up camp right here until he goes away,” says a somewhat less frightened but still intimidated Novos.
With that, the team splits up, directs the squires to set up a camp with the animals some distance down the hill, and pulls out the pavillionsol. Opened up, it takes up much of the porch, but it gives the group a chance to go inside to discuss matters. They don’t make much progress, and suddenly Arthur realizes that nobody is actually watching the man or the area. Rushing outside, he and Dillium look around to see that things are largely they way they were before they went into the tent. Dillium returns inside and continues the argument, but Arthur walks a couple of laps around the porch, peering suspiciously at everything around. He does note that even though the pavillionsol appears to be only canvas, he’s unable to hear the party’s voices, or for that matter, the string quartet that constantly plays inside. He also notes that the red-headed man has disappeared, probably back inside. Arthur peers down the tunnel, but sees nothing of any interest. The corridor, some twenty feet wide and thirty or thirty-five feet tall, appears to be carved by dwarven hands, with a smooth floor and walls, arching gracefully up to a rounded ceiling. While there are occasional scratches on the walls that indicate some sort of graffiti, much of the wall is bare, with only a pattern similar to the porch to break up the monotony. No sign of the young man. Returning to the pavillionsol, he pokes his head inside the tent to give the all-clear.
Meanwhile, the party, from the security of their tent, have decided that they might build a campfire and roast some particularly delicious food, then invite the young man to dinner once he is lured by the savory smells. Dillium points out that there are really no trees or wood to build a fire, and the debate begins anew.
While yet another round of debate begins, the ground shakes uncontrollably, knocking people to the ground. A reasonable group might conclude that the ground in the area was unstable and wonder what might be causing it. This group [2] decides that either some unknown force wants them to get a move on, or that the young redhead is upping the ante.
Novos takes things into his own hands. Disappearing, he becomes one with the shadows and scouts the tunnel. Several hundred feet down he spies a side tunnel, not carved in the same way that the dwarves have done with the main tunnel. Following this, he makes it to the end to find a stout wooden door with heavy metal hinges and bands. He asks one of his attending shadows to slip into the room on the other side and say what it sees. “Meat sticks” is the response. Slipping under the crack at the bottom of the door, Novos sees a number of dead bodies, some of them rotted away to skeletons, chained to the walls. In another part of the room, completely un-weirded out by the dead bodies, the redhead man is calmly chewing on his dinner, which is meat on a bone. Probably chicken or something else innocuous, but also possibly the flesh and bone of whatever he's sharing the room with. Novos decides that means he’s a cannibal, and retreats.
The main tunnel runs several hundred feet into the side of the mountain, then opens up to a wide and tall cavern that is dimly lit on one side by an angry red river of something flowing at a slow and steady pace from a hole on one side, and disappearing under the wall on another side of the cavern [3]. He notes the partially caved-in walls and ceiling, and the presence of vaguely humanoid footprints scuffling around in the dust before he feels the pressing need to return to the party to relay his findings.
Meanwhile, the group has abandoned the pavillionsol, put it away, and is cautiously peering down the tunnel corridor. At no point do they think to check on the (perhaps) terrified squires, who are probably safely down the hill trying to placate the animals. Hopefully the animals haven’t run off with the supplies…
Novos reappears next to the team to explain about the cannibal and the delicious-looking red gelatin. Somewhat emboldened, the party troops down the center of the corridor, heavily armored men in the front. As Arthur seems to have an almost dwarfish feeling for the stone, he notes that the corridor is angled ever so slightly downward. The side tunnel Novos noted is actually three hundred and twenty two feet from the entrance, according to Arthur. It is, however, narrow and roughly hewn from the rock. It’s much too narrow to comfortably fit even one heavily armored man down with any room to spare. Arthur gives that a pass and the rest of the group follows without complaint. Another hundred and four feet down (Novos says, “the corridor opens up in another hundred feet or so,” though both Dillium and Arthur can see no opening ahead), the group is greeted by a bright red light ahead of them. Had they been born in another realm filled with roadrunners and train tunnels [4], they might recognize the coming light. They were not, though, and so the huge fiery ball of fire coming down the hall catches them unawares. Most of the group dodge out of the way, though Modred isn’t bright enough to do so. As a bright red scaley figure drops down onto the floor of the corridor in front of Arthur and Zander, the group takes stock.
The fireball has greatly damaged everyone, as the dragon intended. Because he’s a dragon. Modred lies smoking on the ground, unmoving. Felicity is lying on the ground, smoking slightly less, but at least she is moving, barely. Zander and Arthur both learn how hot metal armor can get when exposed to a fire, while Novos’ and Dillium’s dancing around and ducking behind their armored front line has meant they are less damaged than the others. Giving himself a quick Laying of Hands, Arthur attacks, Smiting the (obviously) evil creature. Zander takes a deep breath and catches his Second Wind and attacks. Novos leaps nimbly aside and sneaks around behind the dragon (well, near his tail anyway) and attacks. Dillium casts Revivify on Modred and spares a moment to speak a Healing Word toward Felicity, though others in the party also benefit from the power of her Word.
“Modred, go back. Go find Pocky!” Modred looks at Dillium with huge sad Mastiff eyes, glances at Zander (who is busy smacking the dragon with his sword), and trundles off down the corridor back toward the squires (and away from the huge red beast). Dillium counts this as a win.
The dragon doesn’t notice. Swishing his tail angrily, he manages to knock Novos down. A great head full of large dragon teeth clamps down on Zander, though the dragon isn’t big enough to swallow him whole. A claw and a cantrip are aimed at Arthur, who is painfully reminded of how hot metal armor can get. Again.
Again, the party attacks, though this time without a smite from Arthur, but with a critical stab from Zander. Novos stabs again, but then quickly retreats from the still swishing tail. Dillium again casts healing spells to keep Zander on his feet, but Felicity is still trying to figure out which train hit her as she holds her head woozily.
Having enough of food that fights back, the dragon leaps into the air, spreading his wings and performing a mid-air summersault. His lithe form denies the opportunity for anyone to strike him, though Zander and Arthur both try. With a roar of fury and pain, the dragon disappears down the corridor. The team takes a few moments to regroup. Dillium once again questions the wisdom of continuing on, but Novos has been raised on a diet of stories about dragons and their hoards. With a gleam of greed in his eyes, he goads everyone else forward.
Several hundred feet further on, the tunnel finally emerges into the wide cavern Novos saw. Now in his human form, Novos finds that the lovely red gelatin is obnoxiously hot, and nobody wants to come near it. The room appears to have once been an entrance hall, and Zander thinks he spies the remains of some defensive positions. The roof has partially collapsed, bringing down much of the back wall. While climbable, there’s no particular need, as there is a wide corridor to the side. That corridor, too, is partially caved in, but the footprints in the dust seem to indicate there is a way through the rubble. As Arthur scans the roof (no stalactites!), he sees what appears to be a series of holes, or perhaps caves, up near the ceiling, which Novos and Zander can’t see in the dim light.
The team turns down the corridor, past some cleared rubble and past the base of a column that might once have been topped by a statue. As the group tromps down the hall, they find a stout wooden door, with heavy metal work. The door is unlocked, and inside is a cell with dead bodies in various states of decomposition. While the redhead’s pack, bedroll, and remains of a small fire are still present, the man isn’t. The door on the other side of the cell leads to a corridor that Novos vaguely recognizes as the one he flitted down earlier. But no young man.
Returning to the corridor, the group sees a well in the middle of the floor. Peering down through the heat haze, the Zander spies more of the hot red goo far below. A hole in the wall shows where part of the red substance has eaten away at the structure, but there’s no reason to think the floor is about to collapse.
Continuing on, Arthur sees a bridge up ahead. As he heads toward it, a raucous cacophony sounds, making everyone clutch at their ears. Novos realizes that it’s some sort of alarm spell at about the same time that Felicity says that out loud. Novos disappears and flits on ahead. He sees a rickety wooden bridge, hardly the work of fine dwarven craftsmen. The bridge crosses another river of the hot red goo, far below. On the other side are a dozen beings, mostly human, with large war dogs. The dogs are nearly as large as Modred, though leaner and wearing doggy armor. A large cook stove is one corner and bedrolls and a few cots are lined along one wall. The humanoids are hastily pulling on armor and gathering weapons as the dogs stare intently toward the sound of the recent commotion. Novos returns to the party to relay what he’s seen. They decide that the bandits are in league with the dragon, probably to restart the forge and … nobody knows what comes next.
As the party gathers on one side of the bridge, rising heat waves, steam and ash prevent a good look at the gathering war party, but it is apparent that they are outnumbered, perhaps badly.
“We must parlay,” Arthur intones gravely.
End of Chapter 7
[1] In fact, it was to the Council of Thanes, last chapter.
[2] At some point during downtime, the party have decided they must have a name, and have settled on something to do with Chimaeras. Novos points out that they technically still have a charter in Impiltur, and so having a party name that changes depending on what land they are in is particularly Chimaeric. Also, Novos also says that the group can get away with anything and simply say that it was the Dragon Force that did it, forgetting that witnesses exist.
[3] Based very loosely on Fire Forge Caves by Dungeon Baker in FiveE magazine
[4] such as this one
submitted by Woody-Sailor-DM to dndstories [link] [comments]
Cast
Part 2, Chapter 7
“Maybe we should offer him money. He looks poor, and poor people usually like money.” Zander opines.“I don’t think you can afford me,” the young man says, slightly nervously. He shuffles a foot. “You should just go.”
“Just gives us a moment, would you?” Arthur asks, raising his hand in a vaguely placating way. The team withdraws to the far end of the wide stone porch. The porch acts as an entryway to the tunnel beyond the odd young human with red hair. The archway is large and imposing, and is covered with random scratched runes, like graffiti. The porch likewise is etched and carved, but in a more artistic manner. There is a single stone step that encircles (ensquares?) the stone slab that acts as a porch, and a few stone steps that lead up to the porch before they disappear into the dirt and weeds of the slight rise. The porch is not large, but the team steps back to the edge and speaks in low whispers.
“We should just go,” Dillium whispers. “We don’t need anything from here.”
“We have given our word to the dwarves. Well, the one dwarf. [1] He seemed to think bad things would occur should the forge was re-kindled,” Arthur replies in a low voice. Does Arthur even know how to whisper?
“Shouldn’t we have asked why the forge was abandoned to begin with?” whispers Zander.
“I say we don’t go in, but we set up camp right here until he goes away,” says a somewhat less frightened but still intimidated Novos.
With that, the team splits up, directs the squires to set up a camp with the animals some distance down the hill, and pulls out the pavillionsol. Opened up, it takes up much of the porch, but it gives the group a chance to go inside to discuss matters. They don’t make much progress, and suddenly Arthur realizes that nobody is actually watching the man or the area. Rushing outside, he and Dillium look around to see that things are largely they way they were before they went into the tent. Dillium returns inside and continues the argument, but Arthur walks a couple of laps around the porch, peering suspiciously at everything around. He does note that even though the pavillionsol appears to be only canvas, he’s unable to hear the party’s voices, or for that matter, the string quartet that constantly plays inside. He also notes that the red-headed man has disappeared, probably back inside. Arthur peers down the tunnel, but sees nothing of any interest. The corridor, some twenty feet wide and thirty or thirty-five feet tall, appears to be carved by dwarven hands, with a smooth floor and walls, arching gracefully up to a rounded ceiling. While there are occasional scratches on the walls that indicate some sort of graffiti, much of the wall is bare, with only a pattern similar to the porch to break up the monotony. No sign of the young man. Returning to the pavillionsol, he pokes his head inside the tent to give the all-clear.
Meanwhile, the party, from the security of their tent, have decided that they might build a campfire and roast some particularly delicious food, then invite the young man to dinner once he is lured by the savory smells. Dillium points out that there are really no trees or wood to build a fire, and the debate begins anew.
While yet another round of debate begins, the ground shakes uncontrollably, knocking people to the ground. A reasonable group might conclude that the ground in the area was unstable and wonder what might be causing it. This group [2] decides that either some unknown force wants them to get a move on, or that the young redhead is upping the ante.
Novos takes things into his own hands. Disappearing, he becomes one with the shadows and scouts the tunnel. Several hundred feet down he spies a side tunnel, not carved in the same way that the dwarves have done with the main tunnel. Following this, he makes it to the end to find a stout wooden door with heavy metal hinges and bands. He asks one of his attending shadows to slip into the room on the other side and say what it sees. “Meat sticks” is the response. Slipping under the crack at the bottom of the door, Novos sees a number of dead bodies, some of them rotted away to skeletons, chained to the walls. In another part of the room, completely un-weirded out by the dead bodies, the redhead man is calmly chewing on his dinner, which is meat on a bone. Probably chicken or something else innocuous, but also possibly the flesh and bone of whatever he's sharing the room with. Novos decides that means he’s a cannibal, and retreats.
The main tunnel runs several hundred feet into the side of the mountain, then opens up to a wide and tall cavern that is dimly lit on one side by an angry red river of something flowing at a slow and steady pace from a hole on one side, and disappearing under the wall on another side of the cavern [3]. He notes the partially caved-in walls and ceiling, and the presence of vaguely humanoid footprints scuffling around in the dust before he feels the pressing need to return to the party to relay his findings.
Meanwhile, the group has abandoned the pavillionsol, put it away, and is cautiously peering down the tunnel corridor. At no point do they think to check on the (perhaps) terrified squires, who are probably safely down the hill trying to placate the animals. Hopefully the animals haven’t run off with the supplies…
Novos reappears next to the team to explain about the cannibal and the delicious-looking red gelatin. Somewhat emboldened, the party troops down the center of the corridor, heavily armored men in the front. As Arthur seems to have an almost dwarfish feeling for the stone, he notes that the corridor is angled ever so slightly downward. The side tunnel Novos noted is actually three hundred and twenty two feet from the entrance, according to Arthur. It is, however, narrow and roughly hewn from the rock. It’s much too narrow to comfortably fit even one heavily armored man down with any room to spare. Arthur gives that a pass and the rest of the group follows without complaint. Another hundred and four feet down (Novos says, “the corridor opens up in another hundred feet or so,” though both Dillium and Arthur can see no opening ahead), the group is greeted by a bright red light ahead of them. Had they been born in another realm filled with roadrunners and train tunnels [4], they might recognize the coming light. They were not, though, and so the huge fiery ball of fire coming down the hall catches them unawares. Most of the group dodge out of the way, though Modred isn’t bright enough to do so. As a bright red scaley figure drops down onto the floor of the corridor in front of Arthur and Zander, the group takes stock.
The fireball has greatly damaged everyone, as the dragon intended. Because he’s a dragon. Modred lies smoking on the ground, unmoving. Felicity is lying on the ground, smoking slightly less, but at least she is moving, barely. Zander and Arthur both learn how hot metal armor can get when exposed to a fire, while Novos’ and Dillium’s dancing around and ducking behind their armored front line has meant they are less damaged than the others. Giving himself a quick Laying of Hands, Arthur attacks, Smiting the (obviously) evil creature. Zander takes a deep breath and catches his Second Wind and attacks. Novos leaps nimbly aside and sneaks around behind the dragon (well, near his tail anyway) and attacks. Dillium casts Revivify on Modred and spares a moment to speak a Healing Word toward Felicity, though others in the party also benefit from the power of her Word.
“Modred, go back. Go find Pocky!” Modred looks at Dillium with huge sad Mastiff eyes, glances at Zander (who is busy smacking the dragon with his sword), and trundles off down the corridor back toward the squires (and away from the huge red beast). Dillium counts this as a win.
The dragon doesn’t notice. Swishing his tail angrily, he manages to knock Novos down. A great head full of large dragon teeth clamps down on Zander, though the dragon isn’t big enough to swallow him whole. A claw and a cantrip are aimed at Arthur, who is painfully reminded of how hot metal armor can get. Again.
Again, the party attacks, though this time without a smite from Arthur, but with a critical stab from Zander. Novos stabs again, but then quickly retreats from the still swishing tail. Dillium again casts healing spells to keep Zander on his feet, but Felicity is still trying to figure out which train hit her as she holds her head woozily.
Having enough of food that fights back, the dragon leaps into the air, spreading his wings and performing a mid-air summersault. His lithe form denies the opportunity for anyone to strike him, though Zander and Arthur both try. With a roar of fury and pain, the dragon disappears down the corridor. The team takes a few moments to regroup. Dillium once again questions the wisdom of continuing on, but Novos has been raised on a diet of stories about dragons and their hoards. With a gleam of greed in his eyes, he goads everyone else forward.
Several hundred feet further on, the tunnel finally emerges into the wide cavern Novos saw. Now in his human form, Novos finds that the lovely red gelatin is obnoxiously hot, and nobody wants to come near it. The room appears to have once been an entrance hall, and Zander thinks he spies the remains of some defensive positions. The roof has partially collapsed, bringing down much of the back wall. While climbable, there’s no particular need, as there is a wide corridor to the side. That corridor, too, is partially caved in, but the footprints in the dust seem to indicate there is a way through the rubble. As Arthur scans the roof (no stalactites!), he sees what appears to be a series of holes, or perhaps caves, up near the ceiling, which Novos and Zander can’t see in the dim light.
The team turns down the corridor, past some cleared rubble and past the base of a column that might once have been topped by a statue. As the group tromps down the hall, they find a stout wooden door, with heavy metal work. The door is unlocked, and inside is a cell with dead bodies in various states of decomposition. While the redhead’s pack, bedroll, and remains of a small fire are still present, the man isn’t. The door on the other side of the cell leads to a corridor that Novos vaguely recognizes as the one he flitted down earlier. But no young man.
Returning to the corridor, the group sees a well in the middle of the floor. Peering down through the heat haze, the Zander spies more of the hot red goo far below. A hole in the wall shows where part of the red substance has eaten away at the structure, but there’s no reason to think the floor is about to collapse.
Continuing on, Arthur sees a bridge up ahead. As he heads toward it, a raucous cacophony sounds, making everyone clutch at their ears. Novos realizes that it’s some sort of alarm spell at about the same time that Felicity says that out loud. Novos disappears and flits on ahead. He sees a rickety wooden bridge, hardly the work of fine dwarven craftsmen. The bridge crosses another river of the hot red goo, far below. On the other side are a dozen beings, mostly human, with large war dogs. The dogs are nearly as large as Modred, though leaner and wearing doggy armor. A large cook stove is one corner and bedrolls and a few cots are lined along one wall. The humanoids are hastily pulling on armor and gathering weapons as the dogs stare intently toward the sound of the recent commotion. Novos returns to the party to relay what he’s seen. They decide that the bandits are in league with the dragon, probably to restart the forge and … nobody knows what comes next.
As the party gathers on one side of the bridge, rising heat waves, steam and ash prevent a good look at the gathering war party, but it is apparent that they are outnumbered, perhaps badly.
“We must parlay,” Arthur intones gravely.
End of Chapter 7
[1] In fact, it was to the Council of Thanes, last chapter.
[2] At some point during downtime, the party have decided they must have a name, and have settled on something to do with Chimaeras. Novos points out that they technically still have a charter in Impiltur, and so having a party name that changes depending on what land they are in is particularly Chimaeric. Also, Novos also says that the group can get away with anything and simply say that it was the Dragon Force that did it, forgetting that witnesses exist.
[3] Based very loosely on Fire Forge Caves by Dungeon Baker in FiveE magazine
[4] such as this one
2024.05.11 00:13 Syluan 29m - Local European dude pretends to be a duck online, panic ensues
It's a Saturday. As the many internet residents behind this guy's screen are about to find out, it is not an ordinary day. Before they know it, they scroll down a page of a subreddit and there he his, in all his glory.
"Quack", he says. He barely used any air. His muscles made the tiniest of efforts. The world is taken by storm. Confusion strikes the weak spirited, while the stronger of will are taken by surprise. It was a lightning quick assault, one nobody saw coming - for he too, was hidden behind a screen. There were no footsteps to be heard, no breathing to be felt. His appearance had been sudden, uncalled for and, most importantly, simply too fast to process.
"Is it what I think it is ?" asked the President. "A man pretending to be a duck, sir", answered the Prime Minister and the General of Armies, in concert. The president removed a pair of sunglasses from his face, only to reveal a second pair underneath. He removed those a well. They stormed off the office, ready to send the entirety of cybersecurity experts in Europe after this guy. They could simply not leave him be.
Anyways, hi. Don't mind the above text, my cat stepped on my keyboard and I have a weird bug that prevents me from deleting it. Congratulations if you read it though. hope you enjoyed whatever the heck that was !
You can call me Syluan or Syl for now. As per the title, I'm a 29 year old anime grandpa with creaky old bones and such. Basically nearing the end of my life in internet standards. I'm from [redacted], in Europe. Back here again after a very long time, looking to socialize a bit because recent times have felt lonely, and I do need a bigger social circle. So, who am I and why is it aabsolutely terrible great idea to talk to me ?
To put it simply, I'm a chill person. "Outgoing introverted" is how I'd qualify myself ; basically someone who's energetic but shy around people at first. I have a bit of anxiety, I suffered through depression and was medicated for a solid 8 years, and only moved out to my own place about 8 months ago. That being said, I like talking (or typing, having a conversation is what I care most about), I like laughing even though my humor is pretty stupid, and I like liking things I like. It makes sense, shush.
I'm passionate about a few things, interested in most other things, and curious about the rest. I mainly enjoy video games, manga, writing (that one should be fairly obvious), memes, animals (I have a cat) and watching videos. I also like movies and series, but not watching them alone - granted I have nobody to watch them with, I usually don't watch any. I'm a fantasy guy, but I never turn down anything so long as the plot is good. I'm still young in my brain and, though I can form coherent thoughts and sentences, I'm not too big on adult talk like taxes and such. Amirite fellow kids ?
Two pretty big red flags about me are the fact I've been a NEET for a long time, and the fact I'm a night owl. The term NEET - for those unaware - means Not in Employment, Education or Training ; basically a fancy way of saying unemployed. It's been that way for a great many years and there are several reasons for this, and maybe you'll learn about them as we talk. Just know this isn't something I had voluntarily choosen as my life style, more something that just happened to be like this. As for the night owl part, let's put it like this: if I don't pay attention to what I'm doing, I'll end up getting to bed at 6am before I know it. This usually makes it pretty easy for me to communicate with people on the East Coast of America, so take that as you will.
I'm a fast reply type of guy, though I can have a small attention deficit that leads to me getting distracted, forgetting to answer and coming back later feeling stupid. I make an active effort to correct this, but slip ups happens at times. I have a lot of attention to give, a lot of time to spare, a good understanding of anxiety and depression having lived through them myself (and still living through them, to an extent). I'm very open minded, non judgemental, probably a little lacking in manners of tact, a bit dumb on the sides cause I was probably dropped a couple too many times as a baby... and I'm sure there's more to be said about me, but it wouldn't be fun to just list everything right off the bat, would it ?
Don't just take my word of it though ! Have a look at this anonymous testimony, telling you how nice it is to be my friend !
Don't waste another second and slide in those DMs for a friendship that's sure to disappoint your relatives last a lifetime* !
*No refunds will be given. A warranty period of 7 seconds will be given after which the product cannot be returned, exchanged or repaired. For any complaints, do not contact us.
submitted by Syluan to Needafriend [link] [comments]
"Quack", he says. He barely used any air. His muscles made the tiniest of efforts. The world is taken by storm. Confusion strikes the weak spirited, while the stronger of will are taken by surprise. It was a lightning quick assault, one nobody saw coming - for he too, was hidden behind a screen. There were no footsteps to be heard, no breathing to be felt. His appearance had been sudden, uncalled for and, most importantly, simply too fast to process.
"Is it what I think it is ?" asked the President. "A man pretending to be a duck, sir", answered the Prime Minister and the General of Armies, in concert. The president removed a pair of sunglasses from his face, only to reveal a second pair underneath. He removed those a well. They stormed off the office, ready to send the entirety of cybersecurity experts in Europe after this guy. They could simply not leave him be.
You can call me Syluan or Syl for now. As per the title, I'm a 29 year old anime grandpa with creaky old bones and such. Basically nearing the end of my life in internet standards. I'm from [redacted], in Europe. Back here again after a very long time, looking to socialize a bit because recent times have felt lonely, and I do need a bigger social circle. So, who am I and why is it a
To put it simply, I'm a chill person. "Outgoing introverted" is how I'd qualify myself ; basically someone who's energetic but shy around people at first. I have a bit of anxiety, I suffered through depression and was medicated for a solid 8 years, and only moved out to my own place about 8 months ago. That being said, I like talking (or typing, having a conversation is what I care most about), I like laughing even though my humor is pretty stupid, and I like liking things I like. It makes sense, shush.
I'm passionate about a few things, interested in most other things, and curious about the rest. I mainly enjoy video games, manga, writing (that one should be fairly obvious), memes, animals (I have a cat) and watching videos. I also like movies and series, but not watching them alone - granted I have nobody to watch them with, I usually don't watch any. I'm a fantasy guy, but I never turn down anything so long as the plot is good. I'm still young in my brain and, though I can form coherent thoughts and sentences, I'm not too big on adult talk like taxes and such. Amirite fellow kids ?
Two pretty big red flags about me are the fact I've been a NEET for a long time, and the fact I'm a night owl. The term NEET - for those unaware - means Not in Employment, Education or Training ; basically a fancy way of saying unemployed. It's been that way for a great many years and there are several reasons for this, and maybe you'll learn about them as we talk. Just know this isn't something I had voluntarily choosen as my life style, more something that just happened to be like this. As for the night owl part, let's put it like this: if I don't pay attention to what I'm doing, I'll end up getting to bed at 6am before I know it. This usually makes it pretty easy for me to communicate with people on the East Coast of America, so take that as you will.
I'm a fast reply type of guy, though I can have a small attention deficit that leads to me getting distracted, forgetting to answer and coming back later feeling stupid. I make an active effort to correct this, but slip ups happens at times. I have a lot of attention to give, a lot of time to spare, a good understanding of anxiety and depression having lived through them myself (and still living through them, to an extent). I'm very open minded, non judgemental, probably a little lacking in manners of tact, a bit dumb on the sides cause I was probably dropped a couple too many times as a baby... and I'm sure there's more to be said about me, but it wouldn't be fun to just list everything right off the bat, would it ?
Don't just take my word of it though ! Have a look at this anonymous testimony, telling you how nice it is to be my friend !
F, 27: who are you and how did you get my contact information ?Amazing, isn't it ! If you're still unsure about contacting me, let me give you the last push by showing you this amazing little table. Special thanks to the PR Team at [REDACTED] for their valuable help !
| Should I talk to this guy ? | Short term | Long term |
|---|---|---|
| If I am a man | Probably not | Probably not |
| If I am a woman | Probably not | Probably not |
*No refunds will be given. A warranty period of 7 seconds will be given after which the product cannot be returned, exchanged or repaired. For any complaints, do not contact us.
2024.05.10 20:28 pillowcase-of-eels [Music] Emilie Autumn's Asylum, pt. 5 – Musician spends years building vibrant and loyal audience; single-sentence comment from concerned fan triggers civil war and ruins everything forever
🪞 “It's much easier to get in that it is to get out,” Emilie Autumn used to say. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4.1 - Part 4.2
She was not wrong. Welcome back to the Asylum write-up!
In this installment, we're finally getting down to the nitty-gritty of the enmity between EA and her fans.
It's time for war. It's time for blood. It's time... for tea. 🎵
Everyone ready for some dysfunctional family history?
CW for discussion of bullying, online harassment, mental illness stigma.
EA had the excellent instinct to start banking on her online presence📝 long before MySpace was even a thing. She had a website, several online stores, an active LiveJournal and a ProBoards forum right from the turn of the millennium.
In 2004, she attached an official forum to her website; the earliest archive shows 74 registered users. By the time Opheliac came out in 2006, that number had grown tenfold. And it was, by most accounts, a pretty dope place to be! (I should specify that this write-up focuses on the anglophone side of the fandom: there were also thriving fan-run communities in at least German, French, and Spanish. Because EA doesn't speak any of those languages, the lucky bastards were mostly left alone.)
Forum users enjoyed interacting with some of EA's closest IRL friends and associates – and with the mistress of the house herself (user flair: PsychoFiddler), when she occasionally responded to comments under her own posts. But that wasn't even the main appeal for many. For a long time, on top of all EA-related topics, the official forum had very active “Off-Topic” subforums, with lively and friendly conversation on a variety of subjects. (There was even a “Filthy Libertines (18+)” sub for a while, which was closed due to preemptive concerns about minors.) Swear words (not slurs) were allowed and encouraged, and moderation was overall pretty loose beyond basic enforcement of civility. There was a lot of mutual support, creativity, and solid banter going around.
In 2008, for instance, EA held an afternoon meet-up at Lincoln Park in Chicago. 📺 The event was free to attend; it featured live acoustic music and a reading from EA's upcoming book, the intriguingly-titled Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls.
On the appointed day, EA rolled up in a fabulously tousled red wig, bedazzled white corset and steampunk-altered wedding dress. She had brought friends alongs. Sporting blue hair and a pink bustle and corset was her Chicago bestie, the main forum admin. Rocking a guitar and a top hat was EA's sound engineer, the soft-spoken wizard behind the Victoriandustrial sound, who was also a forum mod. The photographer from the original Opheliac cover art was there as well; he was formally introduced by EA and got his own round of applause.
The End Records, that is! Quick refresher: in 2009, after three years or so with Trisol, EA split from the label over allegations that the owner was embezzling money from ticket sales. A few months later, she signed with The End Records. Understandably, EA still wanted to sell the album that had made her famous, and to which she had smartly retained the rights – which meant a brand new, “Deluxe” release of Opheliac. (Remember, from part 3? The one you could pre-order as a bundle with the book? Some projects are just cursed, I guess.)
At that point, Opheliac had been released three times already, as recently as the year before, with only slight variations in format and tracklist. (Yes, that is a theme in this story.) The End Records version would feature new cover art and a handful of new tracks, but overall, it was... you know... the same album.
(The following paragraphs are largely sourced from this excellent recap 🔍📝, which also provides potato screenshots for all quotes.)
One fateful day of August 2009, a user started a thread entitled “Opheliac US edition deluxe re-release??” in the “EA News” subforum. In the thread, some people were kind of balking at the re-do, pondering whether to buy the “new” Opheliac or sit this one out. Some expressed that after three years, they were jonesing for a new album. Others shared what B-sides or dream covers they would have liked to see included on the bonus disc. Just... fans being fans, in a fan discussion space.
And then EA jumped out from behind the curtains.
But maybe we can also agree that those replies should have been screamed into a pillow rather than typed out on a keyboard.
EA was getting increasingly (and, I'll just say it: disproportionately) sarcastic and defensive in her replies. Enter poor FantineDormouse.
FantineDormouse meant well, I think. Maybe she thought, she's spiraling. Maybe she thought, friends don't let friends go down that road. Granted, FantineDormouse probably should have known better than to phrase it the way she did. Or to assume that EA perceived her as a friend.
Either way, at some point, FantineDormouse jumped in and posted the comment that finally made EA lose it. THE comment which, overnight, ended the honeymoon period of the Asylum, triggering a doomsday domino effect from which the fandom would never truly recover. Are you comfortably seated?
* sound of archduke getting shot *
Jaws dropped. After days of infighting between white knights, detractors, and crossfire negotiators, several mod resignations, and general mayhem surrounding the ban, EA made a post entitled “In Which: I Invite You to Make a Fucking Choice.” 📝 For brevity's sake (cue laugh track), I can't reproduce it in all of its righteous splendor, but it's quite a read. It runs the gamut from fair and articulate points about how mental illness shouldn't be used to discredit someone's legitimate anger... to histrionic commands that “deserters to the cause” should “turn in their weapons” if they can't handle her way of doing things.
...And now you understand why, in the following years, some fans were so delicate and diplomatic in voicing their very legitimate complaints about messed-up orders, unsigned books, and puzzling lies... while unofficial platforms like Tumblr flourished with pent-up resentment and snark. 🦠
Notwithstanding. In my decade-plus of following EA drama, the public comments on EA's own platforms (where people knew she was likely to be reading) have been, for the most part... civil and nuanced, and relatively mindful of the human? Even very confrontational comments (some clearly written from a place of anger and desire to shame) rarely resorted to outright name-calling or cruelty. When abusive or bigoted language did crop up, it was often promptly shut down by other fans as gross and uncalled for. In short: I have, with mine own two eyes, in real time, read some of the comment sections that EA described as cesspools of blind rage and odious attacks, and... I just couldn't see it.
If anything, for a long time, a lot of the angry comments directed at EA during any given controversy read more like break-up letters to an ex-best friend: harsh, curt and targeted in a way that cuts deep.... but also kind of screams how much love you still have for this person, against your better judgement.
Not that it wouldn't mess a person up to get hundred of those in a matter of hours, even if they don't individually qualify as “abusive”.
It's worth noting that prior to becoming semi-famous and regretting it, EA was also (by her own account and among other forms of abuse) a victim of intense childhood bullying. It feels like the two situations are closely connected in her mind when her focus seamlessly transitions from one to the other. 📺 I don't think that tremor in her voice is put on.
Based on her writings, I get the feeling that over the years, EA has developed a very black-and-white view of two monolithic groups of people. There's (an idealized vision of) her “real audience”, well-dressed, well-read, kind-hearted, and Asylum-savvy, who she fully trusts to “get it” – and buy it, and love it, unquestioningly, whatever “it” may be at any given time – because that is the true measure of love and loyalty. These are the people she makes art and merch for, the people she writes heart-emoji-filled newsletters to, and desperately longs to see in person again.
And then there's the lynch mob, those who really don't “get it”: the trolls, the faceless creeps, the basement-dwelling mouthbreathers, the ones who stalk her every move obsessively, waiting for any chance to spam her with vicious abuse and slander and obscenities. The latter only exist online (they are manifested into arbitrary existence by the internet itself, not by anything EA said or did), and there is zero overlap between the two sets of people. That seems to be the official narrative.
It makes for outstanding human-interest entertainment... but it also sounds an awful lot like the unhealthy patterns of a person suffering from all sorts of PTSD. 🔍 So, please bear that in mind as you read through this write-up. It's easy to make EA out to be the sole villain, a paranoid and delusional drama queen, based on her extreme reactions to things that often “weren't that bad”. Anything can, in fact, be “that bad” when you're thrown back into the very worst moments of your existence every time your brain decides that the situation is even remotely similar.
PTSD takes over your rational mind and actively distorts your perception of reality. That can be how a person ends up impulse-reacting to “a few people expressing an unfavorable opinion” as if the entire internet had just ganged up on them with knives. Which makes their audience feel unjustly accused, which makes them hostile, which gives the person actual good reason to feel attacked... and so the cycle of hurt continues.
Just because you expect something unpleasant to happen, doesn't mean your psyche will be ready to handle it when it does – or that you'll pick the best and most effective strategy to deal with it.
EA's next big release after the Asylum book came in 2012. It was a new album, an outline of the soon-to-be Asylum musical, called Fight Like a Girl (FLAG for short). As the name suggests, the main mood was bellicose. Incidentally, in the interim years, EA's communication style generally became noticeably more combative, incendiary, and (within her own spaces) controlling.📝 You remember those quirky word filters on the forum, that would change “fan” to “muffin” and “bra” to “teacup holder”? They kind of took on a Nineteen-Eighty-Four-burlesque flavor when you realized that one filter automatically changed “Fischkopf” to “Liddell” - and that circumventing the rule to address her totally real last name would get you banned, as would any discussion of her family. (“Wikipedia, random internet sites and heresay are not credible sources.” - Mod reminder of forum rules, 2010.)
Also, you try sustaining a serious, grown-up conversation among concerned fans about how Emilie Autumn should “take ratsponsibility for her mistakes out of ratspect for her muffins”. Thus, the official Asylum forum kept a tight grip on overt criticism of EA's claims and actions.
To be fair, it was never her forte to begin with. Will it come as a shock if I tell you that EA doesn't have the greatest track record for successful collaborative work? Let's do a quick-cut montage!
EA's very first corporate sponsor was her mother's “Enchant Clothing & Costume” online store 🔍; she went on to claim that her mother was dead. She sessioned for Billy Corgan, that went super well. 🎵 She liked Courtney Love for a minute, but that didn't work out because she felt that Courtney only valued her for her pee. 📝 (It probably didn't help that in early 2006, while EA was recording her post-break-up-tell-all album about Corgan, C-Love was recording her post-rehab-redemption album with Corgan. 🔍 Either way, EA didn't seem to like Courtney anymore after that. Courtney likes her, though! 📝) The one artist EA has ever approached for a duet (and by approached, I mean she recorded a demo and threw the CD on stage when he played Chicago in 2004) was, of all people, Morrissey. That never came to pass, thank mercy 🔍 – this fandom has suffered enough. In 2005, EA recorded some haunting vocals and violins for a potential collab with the frontman of Attrition. When, three years later, they were used on one track 🎵 of Attrition's All Mine Enemies Whisper, she alleged 📝 that the recordings had been obtained from her under the false pretense of a different project, then hideously altered to sound “out of tune”, and used without her permission. She enlisted her fans to boycott the album and the band, and threatened legal action. Meanwhile, on LiveJournal and Attrition's message boards, band associates were appalled: according to them, EA had been aware of the project's nature from the start... and had been completely unreachable, even through her label, during the months of its development. (Besides, Attrition is a semi-obscure English darkwave band from the 80s, whose micro-distributed albums don't even have their own Wikipedia pages... so I wonder what EA was hoping to get out of that theoretical lawsuit. These people own nothing but vintage gain pedals!) The song “Cold Hard Cash” 🎤 by Angelspit (who contributed a remix to one of her EPs in 2008) may or may not be an EA diss track. 🐀 Back when indie jewelry brand RockLove (which now has licensing deals with Disney, Marvel, and DC) was still someone's bedroom project, their first drop was an EA-inspired collection 🔍, which appears in many early Opheliac photoshoots. The partnership was terminated on bad terms, for unclear reasons; the RockLove owner shared in a statement that EA had “drunk the cool-aid” of Trisol Guy's shady business practices, and that the two of them had been spamming her with “crazed angry message[s]” for days.
Why am I talking about this? Because it was precisely one such ill-fated business partnership that triggered the Great Asylum Secession.
One fine day of spring 2010, the owner of vegan make-up brand Aromaleigh popped onto the Asylum forum to announce that they were cutting ties with EA, with damning receipts of copy-pasted emails (lost to time). Basically, the brand had been sponsoring her for half a decade, and while Aromaleigh had been actively promoting her music and tours, EA hadn't exactly been returning the favor. (Indeed, the extent of EA's sponcon seemed to have been a banner link to their website on her front page, and a single “random drunken endorsement” LiveJournal post that kind of reads like satire📝, from 2005.)
EA responded by banning the owner's account, deleting the thread, and posting this flippant statement a few days later:
So one Plague Rat decided to create a separate, members-only forum 📝, where users could recreate some of the now-defunct off-topic threads... and also freely voice their critical opinions of EA's behavior without fear of backlash from mods or rabid stans. Thus, “The Reform” was born. (Reform [n]: amendment of what is defective, vicious, corrupt, or depraved.)
For a few weeks, the two-state solution seemed to work fine. And then word spread among forum mods and other diehard fans that there was this horrid other forum, where obsessive haters gathered to spew disgusting lies and vitriol about EA... and soon enough, it was bedlam in the Asylum.
Any explicit mention of the Reform was forbidden on the Asylum forum. Suspicion of participation in the Reform would get you banned. The party line was that The Reform was the enemy 🐀 – even though a number of people were active on both forums, because they liked freedom of expression almost as much as they liked EA. Double agents would lurk on the forum and report back with snark material; sycophants would infiltrate the Reform to identify traitors – much to the amusement of the “haters”, who mocked them and their ilk for “licking EA's pink sparkly boots”. There was no containing the seething, or the sass, among Asylum ranks.
Pretty soon, the insubordination spread to Tumblr. There was the “Ask the Reform” Q&A blog, where questioning fans could interact with “Rebel Rats”, get more details on past drama, and make up their own minds about the people EA called bullies.
And then, there were the “confession blogs”, which published anonymous submissions about EA, positive, negative or neutral, with little censorship. Finally, you didn't even have to pick a throw-away username on a private forum to voice your hottest / strangest / most controversial EA takes. Fans could vent, rant, lament, wonder, shitpost to their heart's content, anonymously. Obviously, given the context of frustration and censorship in the fandom, a lot of the first waves of confessions were EXTREMELY negative.
EA's acolyte Veronica managed to get the first one shut down. If memory serves, she misunderstood the confession blog format, and may have believed that all the posts on “Emilie Autumn Confessions” came from one or a small group of individuals. She was genuinely devastated, and wrote the blog admin to let them know that they were a terrible person who said terrible things. The admin was mortified, apologized profusely and deleted the blog of their own initiative. (Which goes to show that the concept did not come from cruel and malicious anti-fans, as detractors often claimed.)
But a new blog sprung up almost immediately, with a different mod team, and did not surrender. And much like in EA's own book, once the Plague Rats found out that they possessed the gift of speech... well, they really took to it.
Established in 2011 and passed on through generation after generation of mod teams to the present day, Wayward Victorian Confessions would turn out to be the longest-lived institution in the EA fandom. For over a decade now, through all the bleakest nights and dankest debacles of the Asylum, and despite its initial reputation as a troll den, WVC has acted as a kind of neutral ground and vox populi for the active fanbase and anti-fanbase. (The last nominally-active EA fansite to date, She Fights Like a Girl, is actually an offshoot of WVC: one of the old admins created it as a database to answer “frequently asked questions” about EA.)
Wayward Victorian Confessions has now outlived every other EA platform, official and unofficial. Were it not for the continued existence of the “troll den”, what little fan community survives in 2024 would be non-existent, plain and simple. To quote from late 20th century Canadian philosophy: isn't it ironic?
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She was not wrong. Welcome back to the Asylum write-up!
In this installment, we're finally getting down to the nitty-gritty of the enmity between EA and her fans.
It's time for war. It's time for blood. It's time... for tea. 🎵
THE PRESENT DAY: “ASK ME ANYTHING (WELL, NOT QUITE)”
"Ask me anything" titles are catchy, and that’s why I’m using one. But, obviously, don’t ask me anything, by which I mean that, if you think I wouldn’t answer it, you’re probably right. Ask me something really good. I’d love to answer you. I’d love to have comments on these posts, in fact, so that I could answer questions there regularly and ask you things as well, but insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, or so Einstein is supposed to have said, and attempting to create yet another interactive online venue after every previous attempt has ended in heartbreak—forums, facebook groups, social media accounts—it would indeed be insanity to think that this time would be any different. So there are no comments. This too is heartbreaking in the sense that, and you may not realize this, but I desperately want to connect more completely with you—to be able to intelligently converse and share and exchange. We can do that in person, of course, because the wrong people never show up in person. Isn’t that funny… So, perhaps we’ll have to arrange that;). I’ll start you off with an example question I’d want to know if I were you (I can almost guarantee that you do not want to know this). Q. Hey EA, how do you keep your wireless bodypack transmitter secure when you are leaping about in skimpy costumes and doing frequent costume changes? Also, dye your roots. A. Fantastic question, EA, and I just dyed my roots thank you very much. ... (Deleted blog post followed by a year of radio silence, 2022 📝)Sooo. For the past five-ish years, the vibe in the Asylum has been that of a protracted Christmas dinner where everyone is tensely moving their food around in their plate, bracing themselves for whatever will trigger the screaming match. Wondering what it's going to be this time. Weary old-timers make small talk about the food because no other topic feels safe. Every glance, every forced smile, is fraught with eons-old grudges and unspoken regrets; every nervous pleasantry sounds like a thinly-veiled accusation. Aunt Emilie always insists on hosting, but not-so-secretly hates having people over. Sooner or later, she finds a way to get all of these assholes out of her house. Most of the adult children are daydreaming about going no-contact.
Everyone ready for some dysfunctional family history?
CW for discussion of bullying, online harassment, mental illness stigma.
YE OLDEN DAYS: CUCKOOS OF A FEATHER NEST TOGETHER
In the beginning, it was beautiful.EA had the excellent instinct to start banking on her online presence📝 long before MySpace was even a thing. She had a website, several online stores, an active LiveJournal and a ProBoards forum right from the turn of the millennium.
In 2004, she attached an official forum to her website; the earliest archive shows 74 registered users. By the time Opheliac came out in 2006, that number had grown tenfold. And it was, by most accounts, a pretty dope place to be! (I should specify that this write-up focuses on the anglophone side of the fandom: there were also thriving fan-run communities in at least German, French, and Spanish. Because EA doesn't speak any of those languages, the lucky bastards were mostly left alone.)
Forum users enjoyed interacting with some of EA's closest IRL friends and associates – and with the mistress of the house herself (user flair: PsychoFiddler), when she occasionally responded to comments under her own posts. But that wasn't even the main appeal for many. For a long time, on top of all EA-related topics, the official forum had very active “Off-Topic” subforums, with lively and friendly conversation on a variety of subjects. (There was even a “Filthy Libertines (18+)” sub for a while, which was closed due to preemptive concerns about minors.) Swear words (not slurs) were allowed and encouraged, and moderation was overall pretty loose beyond basic enforcement of civility. There was a lot of mutual support, creativity, and solid banter going around.
It wasn't just about Emilie on the forums. People could chat about almost anything with near free reign, making connections and lifelong friends. ... This community mattered SO MUCH to people. They felt included, accepted, and understood within the walls of the Asylum. People invested their time and creative energy into keeping the forums a vibrant, active community, and made sure that carried over into the real world. ... I've never seen anything like it in a fan space. I doubt I ever will again. (@Asylum_Oracle - “Fandom History” Instagram highlight 🔍📝, which contains most of the sources for this segment.)And it did, indeed, carry over into the real world. There were numerous meet-ups – a few organized by EA, many more spontaneous. People who didn't know any other EA fans in real life, or were just excited to add new Plague Rats to their friend group, would regularly connect with other forum users from their area to meet up and hang out before EA shows. “Who else is dressing up??”
In 2008, for instance, EA held an afternoon meet-up at Lincoln Park in Chicago. 📺 The event was free to attend; it featured live acoustic music and a reading from EA's upcoming book, the intriguingly-titled Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls.
On the appointed day, EA rolled up in a fabulously tousled red wig, bedazzled white corset and steampunk-altered wedding dress. She had brought friends alongs. Sporting blue hair and a pink bustle and corset was her Chicago bestie, the main forum admin. Rocking a guitar and a top hat was EA's sound engineer, the soft-spoken wizard behind the Victoriandustrial sound, who was also a forum mod. The photographer from the original Opheliac cover art was there as well; he was formally introduced by EA and got his own round of applause.
People who would never normally be involved in an artist's fanbase were in EA's world. And not only were they known – they were respected and incredibly active with the fanbase. These people who managed an online message board were willing to engage in real-world meet-ups (with no security??) because of how tight-knit the community they had built was. People turned out to this event. People traveled to go to this event. It was a short reading of a book that hadn't been released yet, and wouldn't be for some time. Why? Because not only was it a chance to meet Emilie and listen to parts of the new book, but it was also a chance to hang out with their friends from the Asylum. ... The fandom really was a family for a lot of people. (@Asylum_Oracle)
“SERIOUSLY, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE.”
It all started with The End.The End Records, that is! Quick refresher: in 2009, after three years or so with Trisol, EA split from the label over allegations that the owner was embezzling money from ticket sales. A few months later, she signed with The End Records. Understandably, EA still wanted to sell the album that had made her famous, and to which she had smartly retained the rights – which meant a brand new, “Deluxe” release of Opheliac. (Remember, from part 3? The one you could pre-order as a bundle with the book? Some projects are just cursed, I guess.)
At that point, Opheliac had been released three times already, as recently as the year before, with only slight variations in format and tracklist. (Yes, that is a theme in this story.) The End Records version would feature new cover art and a handful of new tracks, but overall, it was... you know... the same album.
(The following paragraphs are largely sourced from this excellent recap 🔍📝, which also provides potato screenshots for all quotes.)
One fateful day of August 2009, a user started a thread entitled “Opheliac US edition deluxe re-release??” in the “EA News” subforum. In the thread, some people were kind of balking at the re-do, pondering whether to buy the “new” Opheliac or sit this one out. Some expressed that after three years, they were jonesing for a new album. Others shared what B-sides or dream covers they would have liked to see included on the bonus disc. Just... fans being fans, in a fan discussion space.
And then EA jumped out from behind the curtains.
Fan: Okay. Before I start, I just want you to know that I think it's very good that EA is getting more popularity, and that she can release lots of albums, but - are 5 editions of the same album really needed? You may say now “ah, it's not the same, it has 2 bonus tracks” or whatever, but I mean: it's not new material. Now don't get me wrong. I'm happy for it, maybe I'll even buy it, but I'm just wondering if she shouldn't keep herself busy with other (maybe more important) stuff? * hides * EA: Nobody's forcing you to buy it. Thanks.Record scratch.
Fan 1: is this Opheliac release version number 4? lol If she's recording NEW tracks, then surely they deserve to be sold by themselves, otherwise people are going to have to buy an album that they may have already bought twice (like me!). But... alas, I am a fool and adore everything this woman does... im buying it lol Fan 2: exactly – if it was just reissuing the last version of Opheliac to tap into new markets that would be fine (...) but if they start adding extra bits of material to albums people already have then the true muffins are going to feel obliged to buy new copies (...) EA: How exactly are you obliged to buy anything? Nobody is forcing you to spend a fucking penny, my dears. I suppose it would make more sense to you to simply not have my records available any more as the old label I just escaped from will no longer be distributing them? Forgive me for adding extra tracks. No obligation necessary....Okay, so I'm pretty sure that we can see both sides of the argument here. Fans are annoyed at the idea of spending money on barely-anything-new, because they love EA and buy every single CD she releases. EA is exasperated by fans acting like she's twisting their arm and somehow resenting the inclusion of new material, when she was just ensuring that her album would remain available for purchase and trying to keep things interesting.
But maybe we can also agree that those replies should have been screamed into a pillow rather than typed out on a keyboard.
EA was getting increasingly (and, I'll just say it: disproportionately) sarcastic and defensive in her replies. Enter poor FantineDormouse.
FantineDormouse meant well, I think. Maybe she thought, she's spiraling. Maybe she thought, friends don't let friends go down that road. Granted, FantineDormouse probably should have known better than to phrase it the way she did. Or to assume that EA perceived her as a friend.
Either way, at some point, FantineDormouse jumped in and posted the comment that finally made EA lose it. THE comment which, overnight, ended the honeymoon period of the Asylum, triggering a doomsday domino effect from which the fandom would never truly recover. Are you comfortably seated?
FantineDormouse: Uhm, Emilie, love, I don't mean to sound rude or anything... but maybe you should have a cup of tea and relax a little....
* sound of archduke getting shot *
EA: Excuse me? You can throw this onslaught of absolute cruel bullshit at me and those I work with in my own space that I own, and I can't say anything back? How fucking patronizing. Relax? Are you fucking kidding me? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? FD: I'm not trying to piss you off even more, Emilie. And trust me, I have to deal with it myself, and as much as I would really love to punch the cunts I have to deal with in the face, I don't. You're pissed off, I get it. You're bipolar, which makes it 10x worse, I get that. I'm just not the person to stand around and do nothing when a fight where I'm pretty sure there will be a lot of regret is going on.Famous last words. Literally! Immediately after EA delivered her irate closing statement – which includes one of my all-time favorite EA zingers, bolded...
EA: I cannot believe this... You just don't stop, do you? So just because I've shared the personal information with you all that I happen to be bipolar, I can't get pissed off at all of you being perfectly awful in the very space that I pay fuckloads a month to have up (has it ever occurred to you all that I pay dearly for this space you play around in?) Why not just tell me that I must be upset because it's my time of the month? Seriously, get the fuck out of my house. You are unbelievable, and your level of patronization is almost criminal. Don't make me write another book. With muffins like you, who needs enemies? Nothing I say or feel is legitimate, not ever ever ever because I'm bipolar... discredited before I begin... unbelievable......FantineDormouse got permabanned.
Jaws dropped. After days of infighting between white knights, detractors, and crossfire negotiators, several mod resignations, and general mayhem surrounding the ban, EA made a post entitled “In Which: I Invite You to Make a Fucking Choice.” 📝 For brevity's sake (cue laugh track), I can't reproduce it in all of its righteous splendor, but it's quite a read. It runs the gamut from fair and articulate points about how mental illness shouldn't be used to discredit someone's legitimate anger... to histrionic commands that “deserters to the cause” should “turn in their weapons” if they can't handle her way of doing things.
To those of you who appear not to understand why said posts, most especially those of the banned party, were offensive to me, I give you the option to either educate yourselves on your own time and in your own space (because please never forget that this is my space that I share with all of you at my own expense, and in which I generally give you all the freedom I would wish for myself), or to resign your posts in the Asylum Army – this is not the place for you, and I humbly suggest that you turn your attention and support towards other artists of a more placid, non-controversial, and less opinionated nature; there are more than enough of them out there, and I’m sure they all have forums of their own.Some fans did leave. Most stuck around, whiplashed. Soon, the storm quieted down, and business as usual resumed on the forum. But something had been damaged beyond repair. The FantineDormouse fiasco had erected walls and drawn lines in the sand, both around EA and among her fans; its sad specter would haunt every Asylum crisis that spiked up forever after. “Fucking Patronizing Fucking” or “FPF” 🔍 became memetic shorthand in the fandom for overreaction and self-righteousness. 🐀
...And now you understand why, in the following years, some fans were so delicate and diplomatic in voicing their very legitimate complaints about messed-up orders, unsigned books, and puzzling lies... while unofficial platforms like Tumblr flourished with pent-up resentment and snark. 🦠
A NOTE ON HARASSMENT: “MAD GIRL, CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THEY'VE DONE TO YOU?”
Wouldn't they stop When you asked them to leave you alone? (“Mad Girl”, 2008 🎵)Now, let's be clear, because it should not be minimized: EA has also been the target of genuine online harassment. Based on the simple fact that she is a woman with a public presence on the internet, I have zero doubt that EA has received (and perhaps continues to receive) more than her share of truly vile, bigoted, creepy and threatening messages – and, knowing what I know about the darker recesses of the Asylum, a terrifying amount of emotional blackmail and obsessive projection from people who hold her to punitively high standards. I'm also inclined to believe that it started way before she ever did anything that warranted any backlash. And that fucking sucks. It's repulsive and inexcusable, and the people who harass her should crawl into a hole and live among the worms.
Notwithstanding. In my decade-plus of following EA drama, the public comments on EA's own platforms (where people knew she was likely to be reading) have been, for the most part... civil and nuanced, and relatively mindful of the human? Even very confrontational comments (some clearly written from a place of anger and desire to shame) rarely resorted to outright name-calling or cruelty. When abusive or bigoted language did crop up, it was often promptly shut down by other fans as gross and uncalled for. In short: I have, with mine own two eyes, in real time, read some of the comment sections that EA described as cesspools of blind rage and odious attacks, and... I just couldn't see it.
If anything, for a long time, a lot of the angry comments directed at EA during any given controversy read more like break-up letters to an ex-best friend: harsh, curt and targeted in a way that cuts deep.... but also kind of screams how much love you still have for this person, against your better judgement.
Not that it wouldn't mess a person up to get hundred of those in a matter of hours, even if they don't individually qualify as “abusive”.
It's worth noting that prior to becoming semi-famous and regretting it, EA was also (by her own account and among other forms of abuse) a victim of intense childhood bullying. It feels like the two situations are closely connected in her mind when her focus seamlessly transitions from one to the other. 📺 I don't think that tremor in her voice is put on.
Based on her writings, I get the feeling that over the years, EA has developed a very black-and-white view of two monolithic groups of people. There's (an idealized vision of) her “real audience”, well-dressed, well-read, kind-hearted, and Asylum-savvy, who she fully trusts to “get it” – and buy it, and love it, unquestioningly, whatever “it” may be at any given time – because that is the true measure of love and loyalty. These are the people she makes art and merch for, the people she writes heart-emoji-filled newsletters to, and desperately longs to see in person again.
And then there's the lynch mob, those who really don't “get it”: the trolls, the faceless creeps, the basement-dwelling mouthbreathers, the ones who stalk her every move obsessively, waiting for any chance to spam her with vicious abuse and slander and obscenities. The latter only exist online (they are manifested into arbitrary existence by the internet itself, not by anything EA said or did), and there is zero overlap between the two sets of people. That seems to be the official narrative.
The "public eye" isn't an [enviable] place to be, and the closer I've come to it, the more horrified I've been. Because, for starters, who is "the public?" Is "the public" my audience? Hell no. My audience is special. They are not the general public. If they were the general public I would be a lot wealthier. The "public eye" means getting stalked, harassed, viscously judged, and put in danger. If I do things in the future that gain notoriety, I will do them in spite of fame, not because of it. I am out for world domination, but not fame. (Interview for The Moaning Times, 2014 📝)In real life (well, mostly online, but I mean: on this shared plane of existence), things play out slightly differently. The Venn diagram of “true blue fans” and “people who criticize EA" and "people who know way too much about EA” is a circle. The call is 100% coming from inside the Asylum, and I think EA rationally knows that. But here's the thing: no matter how many shows and meet-and-greets you've dressed up for, how many loving and supportive comments you've left, or how many family heirlooms you once pawned to purchase a copy of the not-for-sale 2003 DJ pressing of Enchant... the instant EA feels attacked, everyone is a saboteur and a bully until proven otherwise, and suspected treason is dealt with on the spot. One strike, you're out. Unfortunately for everyone involved, her threshold for bullying seems to be “any remotely thoughtless opinion from any stranger on the internet”.
It makes for outstanding human-interest entertainment... but it also sounds an awful lot like the unhealthy patterns of a person suffering from all sorts of PTSD. 🔍 So, please bear that in mind as you read through this write-up. It's easy to make EA out to be the sole villain, a paranoid and delusional drama queen, based on her extreme reactions to things that often “weren't that bad”. Anything can, in fact, be “that bad” when you're thrown back into the very worst moments of your existence every time your brain decides that the situation is even remotely similar.
PTSD takes over your rational mind and actively distorts your perception of reality. That can be how a person ends up impulse-reacting to “a few people expressing an unfavorable opinion” as if the entire internet had just ganged up on them with knives. Which makes their audience feel unjustly accused, which makes them hostile, which gives the person actual good reason to feel attacked... and so the cycle of hurt continues.
You know the games I play And the words I say When I want my own way You know the lies I tell When you've gone through hell And I say I can't stay You know how hard it can be To keep believing in me When everything and everyone Becomes my enemy, and when There's nothing more you can do I'm gonna blame it on you – It's not the way I wanna be I only hope that in the end You will see: It's the Opheliac in me... (“Opheliac”, 2006 🎵)And YES, it is extremely regrettable to have this as a trigger, when you're a public figure and you're bound to receive more negative feedback than the average citizen. “It's what she signed up for”, “it comes with the territory” and all that jazz. I really don't think EA was unaware of that fact when she decided to become a musician, share her personal life, and form an intense parasocial bond with her audience. But maybe she underestimated how hard it would be to process and recover from.
Just because you expect something unpleasant to happen, doesn't mean your psyche will be ready to handle it when it does – or that you'll pick the best and most effective strategy to deal with it.
A MADHOUSE UNDER MARTIAL LAW: MARCHING INTO THE FORUM WARS
There are two sides to every story... except for this one! (“If I Burn”, 2012 🎵)You may have noted the military imagery in EA's “Make a Fucking Choice” response post – “resign your post in the Asylum Army”! What do psychiatry and the military have in common? They're both institutions of top-down social control. 🔍 EA's mixed metaphor may be a bit clunky, but it did foreshadow the evolution of the Asylum – in terms of aesthetics and power dynamics – in the years that followed the FantineDormouse incident and the release of The Book.
EA's next big release after the Asylum book came in 2012. It was a new album, an outline of the soon-to-be Asylum musical, called Fight Like a Girl (FLAG for short). As the name suggests, the main mood was bellicose. Incidentally, in the interim years, EA's communication style generally became noticeably more combative, incendiary, and (within her own spaces) controlling.📝 You remember those quirky word filters on the forum, that would change “fan” to “muffin” and “bra” to “teacup holder”? They kind of took on a Nineteen-Eighty-Four-burlesque flavor when you realized that one filter automatically changed “Fischkopf” to “Liddell” - and that circumventing the rule to address her totally real last name would get you banned, as would any discussion of her family. (“Wikipedia, random internet sites and heresay are not credible sources.” - Mod reminder of forum rules, 2010.)
Also, you try sustaining a serious, grown-up conversation among concerned fans about how Emilie Autumn should “take ratsponsibility for her mistakes out of ratspect for her muffins”. Thus, the official Asylum forum kept a tight grip on overt criticism of EA's claims and actions.
The Emilie Autumn forum is a dystopian hell. Truth be told, when I decided to leave you could not do anything but gush about Emilie. Otherwise all of her extremist arse kissing fans will be down your throat, ripping you apart in seconds, if you so much as questioned her behaviour. So much for freedom of opinion, let alone the idea of creating a harmonious community for ‘outcasts’. Hahaha. (2014 🐀)The word filter thing really wasn't a big deal – I'm just pointing it out as one goofy expression of EA's need to control the narrative and rhetoric, which became especially noticeable in those post-book, pre-FLAG years. By that point, EA's fuse had been shortened by near on half a decade of non-stop touring / recording / writing / promoting / adjusting to the pressure and demands of an ever-growing fanbase, while also dealing with a horrorshow of personal turmoil and health issues behind the scenes. In other words: she was done taking any shit, in any form, or humoring anyone's ridiculous feedback regarding anything.
To be fair, it was never her forte to begin with. Will it come as a shock if I tell you that EA doesn't have the greatest track record for successful collaborative work? Let's do a quick-cut montage!
EA's very first corporate sponsor was her mother's “Enchant Clothing & Costume” online store 🔍; she went on to claim that her mother was dead. She sessioned for Billy Corgan, that went super well. 🎵 She liked Courtney Love for a minute, but that didn't work out because she felt that Courtney only valued her for her pee. 📝 (It probably didn't help that in early 2006, while EA was recording her post-break-up-tell-all album about Corgan, C-Love was recording her post-rehab-redemption album with Corgan. 🔍 Either way, EA didn't seem to like Courtney anymore after that. Courtney likes her, though! 📝) The one artist EA has ever approached for a duet (and by approached, I mean she recorded a demo and threw the CD on stage when he played Chicago in 2004) was, of all people, Morrissey. That never came to pass, thank mercy 🔍 – this fandom has suffered enough. In 2005, EA recorded some haunting vocals and violins for a potential collab with the frontman of Attrition. When, three years later, they were used on one track 🎵 of Attrition's All Mine Enemies Whisper, she alleged 📝 that the recordings had been obtained from her under the false pretense of a different project, then hideously altered to sound “out of tune”, and used without her permission. She enlisted her fans to boycott the album and the band, and threatened legal action. Meanwhile, on LiveJournal and Attrition's message boards, band associates were appalled: according to them, EA had been aware of the project's nature from the start... and had been completely unreachable, even through her label, during the months of its development. (Besides, Attrition is a semi-obscure English darkwave band from the 80s, whose micro-distributed albums don't even have their own Wikipedia pages... so I wonder what EA was hoping to get out of that theoretical lawsuit. These people own nothing but vintage gain pedals!) The song “Cold Hard Cash” 🎤 by Angelspit (who contributed a remix to one of her EPs in 2008) may or may not be an EA diss track. 🐀 Back when indie jewelry brand RockLove (which now has licensing deals with Disney, Marvel, and DC) was still someone's bedroom project, their first drop was an EA-inspired collection 🔍, which appears in many early Opheliac photoshoots. The partnership was terminated on bad terms, for unclear reasons; the RockLove owner shared in a statement that EA had “drunk the cool-aid” of Trisol Guy's shady business practices, and that the two of them had been spamming her with “crazed angry message[s]” for days.
Why am I talking about this? Because it was precisely one such ill-fated business partnership that triggered the Great Asylum Secession.
One fine day of spring 2010, the owner of vegan make-up brand Aromaleigh popped onto the Asylum forum to announce that they were cutting ties with EA, with damning receipts of copy-pasted emails (lost to time). Basically, the brand had been sponsoring her for half a decade, and while Aromaleigh had been actively promoting her music and tours, EA hadn't exactly been returning the favor. (Indeed, the extent of EA's sponcon seemed to have been a banner link to their website on her front page, and a single “random drunken endorsement” LiveJournal post that kind of reads like satire📝, from 2005.)
EA responded by banning the owner's account, deleting the thread, and posting this flippant statement a few days later:
Dearest Plague Rats, To be honest, I have no idea of what the hell happened with Aromaleigh, and I don't care to find out – the whole drama is a complete mystery to me, as I've been away for months touring and have not been in contact with anyone. All I know is that I've been promoting the company for ages and have not asked them for anything in years. (...) Please focus on more interesting things. I am. (“Save the Drama...” forum post, March 2010)Posts questioning her good faith in the conflict were deleted from the forum. Shortly thereafter, citing how prolific and labor-intensive the Asylum forum had grown, EA shut down all non-EA related subforums – which, among many other topics, included a pretty active thread about Aromaleigh products.
So one Plague Rat decided to create a separate, members-only forum 📝, where users could recreate some of the now-defunct off-topic threads... and also freely voice their critical opinions of EA's behavior without fear of backlash from mods or rabid stans. Thus, “The Reform” was born. (Reform [n]: amendment of what is defective, vicious, corrupt, or depraved.)
For a few weeks, the two-state solution seemed to work fine. And then word spread among forum mods and other diehard fans that there was this horrid other forum, where obsessive haters gathered to spew disgusting lies and vitriol about EA... and soon enough, it was bedlam in the Asylum.
Any explicit mention of the Reform was forbidden on the Asylum forum. Suspicion of participation in the Reform would get you banned. The party line was that The Reform was the enemy 🐀 – even though a number of people were active on both forums, because they liked freedom of expression almost as much as they liked EA. Double agents would lurk on the forum and report back with snark material; sycophants would infiltrate the Reform to identify traitors – much to the amusement of the “haters”, who mocked them and their ilk for “licking EA's pink sparkly boots”. There was no containing the seething, or the sass, among Asylum ranks.
Pretty soon, the insubordination spread to Tumblr. There was the “Ask the Reform” Q&A blog, where questioning fans could interact with “Rebel Rats”, get more details on past drama, and make up their own minds about the people EA called bullies.
And then, there were the “confession blogs”, which published anonymous submissions about EA, positive, negative or neutral, with little censorship. Finally, you didn't even have to pick a throw-away username on a private forum to voice your hottest / strangest / most controversial EA takes. Fans could vent, rant, lament, wonder, shitpost to their heart's content, anonymously. Obviously, given the context of frustration and censorship in the fandom, a lot of the first waves of confessions were EXTREMELY negative.
EA's acolyte Veronica managed to get the first one shut down. If memory serves, she misunderstood the confession blog format, and may have believed that all the posts on “Emilie Autumn Confessions” came from one or a small group of individuals. She was genuinely devastated, and wrote the blog admin to let them know that they were a terrible person who said terrible things. The admin was mortified, apologized profusely and deleted the blog of their own initiative. (Which goes to show that the concept did not come from cruel and malicious anti-fans, as detractors often claimed.)
But a new blog sprung up almost immediately, with a different mod team, and did not surrender. And much like in EA's own book, once the Plague Rats found out that they possessed the gift of speech... well, they really took to it.
Established in 2011 and passed on through generation after generation of mod teams to the present day, Wayward Victorian Confessions would turn out to be the longest-lived institution in the EA fandom. For over a decade now, through all the bleakest nights and dankest debacles of the Asylum, and despite its initial reputation as a troll den, WVC has acted as a kind of neutral ground and vox populi for the active fanbase and anti-fanbase. (The last nominally-active EA fansite to date, She Fights Like a Girl, is actually an offshoot of WVC: one of the old admins created it as a database to answer “frequently asked questions” about EA.)
Wayward Victorian Confessions has now outlived every other EA platform, official and unofficial. Were it not for the continued existence of the “troll den”, what little fan community survives in 2024 would be non-existent, plain and simple. To quote from late 20th century Canadian philosophy: isn't it ironic?
I feel like [WVC] is the only place I feel any of that old Asylum community kind of feeling I felt before EA got so focused on the book. It sucks that it’s so full of unhappiness, and I wish she hadn’t poisoned the sanctuary she claimed to have built. It’s just kind of fallen apart, like a crumbling building. (🐀 2016)
CONTINUED IN COMMENTS
2024.05.10 20:04 Vukobasa An observer in the Near East: MONTENEGRO (1907)
 | ΜΟΝΤΕΝEGRO submitted by Vukobasa to Crnogorstvo [link] [comments] CHAPTER I THE CITY IN THE SKY Why I went to the Balkans―The road to Montenegro―Cettinje and its petroleum tins―About the blood-feud―England and Montenegro―Warned not to attempt to go to Albania―My guide a marked man-The story of Tef―A woman's fickleness, and its sequel. CHAPTER II AN AUDIENCE OF PRINCE NICHOLAS The Palace at Cettinje―A cigarette with the Prince―The policy of Montenegro―A confidential chat―His Royal Highness's admiration for England―His views upon Macedonia―He urges me not to attempt to go to Albania. but I persuade him to help me―His Highness's kindness―Souvenirs. ** CHAPTER I THE CITY IN THE SKY Why I went to the Balkans— The road to Montenegro — Cettinje and its petroleum tins — About the blood-feud — England and Montenegro — Warned not to attempt to go to Albania — My guide a marked man — The story of Tef — A woman's fickleness, and its sequel. I ENTERED the Balkans by the back door. The luxuries of the Orient Express had no attraction for me. I wanted to see the Balkans as they really are, those great, wild, mountainous countries, so full of race hatreds, of political bickerings, of fierce blood-feuds, of feverish propa- gandas those nations with their interesting monarchs and their many mysteries. The "Orient" runs direct from Paris to the Balkan capitals, it is true, but if one goes to study a people the capital is not the only place in which to discover the truth. One must go into the country, move among the peasantry, hear their grievances and investigate their wrongs. Therefore I decided to enter the East by Montenegro, and also visit the wild and little-known regions of Northern Albania. The comfortable voyage by the Austrian-Lloyd mail steamer Graf Wurmbrand from Trieste down the Adriatic, touching at Pola, the Austrian naval station, Lussinpiccolo, Zara- famed for its maraschino-Sebenico, Spalato, and Gravosa to Cattaro, has been already described by many writers. Suffice it to say that it is perhaps one of the most picturesque of pleasure-trips in the world, for every moment one has a fresh panorama of mountain and blue sea, of green, fertile islands with subtropical vegetation, and tiny white villages nestling at the sea's edge, as the steamer threads her way through the narrow and often difficult channels. At times the wild scenery, especially in the Bocche di Cattaro, reminds the traveller of the Norwegian fiords, and at others the coast is an almost exact reproduction of the French Riviera. The object of my journey was, however, not in order to write a mere description of men and places. There have been other travellers in the Balkans who have related their story, therefore my mission was to make careful inquiry into the present unsettled state of affairs, try and discover the grievances of both sides, and endeavour to obtain from the rulers and statesmen of the various nations their aspirations for the future. This I succeeded in doing, for the various monarchs of the Balkans graciously gave me audience; and from their Ministers, from the middle classes, and from the peasants, I was enabled at last to form some conclusion as to the real situation-political, economical, social, and financial. The writer who attempts to place the various Balkan questions impartially and clearly before the public will at once find himself utterly confused, and wallowing wildly in a morass of misstatement and misrepresentation. The Balkans are torn by race hatreds, party strife, and the intrigues of the Powers. The Turk hates the Bulgar, the Serb hates the Austrian, the Roumanian hates the Greek, the Albanian hates the Montenegrin, the Bosnian hates the Turk, while the Macedonian hates everybody all round. What is told to one authoritatively one hour, is flatly contradicted the next; therefore it is not in the least surprising that in the European Press there have been so many misstatements about the various Balkan questions, the real truth being so very difficult to obtain. I have, however, endeavoured to obtain it, and at risk of being injudicious, to place before the reader the facts as they are, without any political bias, or any seeking to gloss over the many glaring defects of administration of which I have myself been witness. To describe the beauties of the Bocche di Cattaro, that series of winding channels where the high grey mountains rise sheer from the water, would be only to traverse old ground. Suffice it to say that I landed at Cattaro on a bright, sunny noon, and found upon the quay a tall, lean mountaineer who had been sent to meet me. To the traveller fresh from the West the Montenegrin costume of both women and men is very attractive, but a few days in the Balkans soon accustoms the eye to a perfect phantasmagoria of colour and of costume. Pero was my driver's name, and I noticed that around his waist was a revolver belt, but minus the weapon. I inquired where it was, and with a grin he informed me that Cattaro, being in Dalmatia, the Austrians would not allow Montenegrins to bring arms into their country; so they were compelled to leave them on the other side of the frontier, ten kilometres distant. My bags packed upon the three-horse travelling carriage and secured with many strings, and Pero equipped with a plentiful stock of cigarettes, he mounted upon the box, whipped up his long-tailed ponies, and we started on our eight-hour ascent of that great wall of mountain that hides Montenegro from the sea. As we ascended through the little village of Skaljari we entered upon a magnificent road, said to be one of the greatest engineering feats of modern times, and steadily ascended, until at the striped black-and-yellow Austrian boundary post we crossed the frontier, and were in the "Land of the Black Mountain"-Montenegro. Across the road, at an acute angle, a row of paving-stones marks the frontier, and soon after- wards we found ourselves in the wildest and most desolate mountain region. At a lonely roadside hut Pero obtained his big, serviceable-looking revolver, and I, of course, wore mine in my belt; for in Montenegro or Albania arms make the man. A man unarmed is looked upon as an effeminate coward. Indeed, by order of Prince Nicholas every Monte- negrin must wear the national dress, both men and women, and every man must carry his revolver when out of doors. Four hours from Cattaro we were in a lonely mountain fastness, a wild, desolate, treeless region of huge limestone rocks of peculiar volcanic formation, which gave them the appearance of a boiling sea. The views over the Adriatic as we turned back were so superb that, despite photographing being strictly forbidden on account of the fortresses in the vicinity, I could not resist the temptation to take one or two surreptitiously. On, through a bleak, uninhabited country, we at last reached the guard-house of Kerstac, and then half an hour later found ourselves upon a plateau where, in the centre, stood the small clean village of Nyegush, the ancestral home of the reigning family, and the scene of most of the Montenegrin wars of independence. Here we halted for half an hour at the post-house, and before we left, the big, lumbering post-diligence, with its armed guard, came up behind us. Before we moved off again it had grown dark, the moon shone, and for four hours longer we alternately climbed and descended through that wild region of silence and desolation, until at last we saw, deep below, the lights of Cettinje, the little capital, and an hour later brought us to the unpre- tending "Grand" Hotel. Hardly had I entered my room when there came a loud knock at my door, and a tall, scarlet-coated Montenegrin warrior, armed to the teeth, entered and saluted. For a moment I looked up at him aghast, but the mystery was solved when, next second, he handed me with great ceremony a telegram from a dear friend in England wishing me God- speed. I had taken him to be, at least, one of the Prince's bodyguard, and he was only a plain telegraph messenger! This was but one of many surprises in store for me in Montenegro. Next morning I went out to look round the clean little capital, when, on passing the Prince's palace, I saw a number of soldiers drawn up, and as I went by, the band suddenly struck up the British National Anthem! I raised my hat, halted, and stood puzzled. Surely they were not honouring me! Another moment, however, and I recognised the reason. In a carriage, accompanied by the Grand Marechal of the Court, there drove up my friend Mr. Charles des Graz, the newly-appointed British Chargé d'Affaires to Montenegro, who was about to present his creden- tials to His Royal Highness the Prince. Montenegro is perhaps the most interesting country in all the Balkans. Cettinje, a small, clean town of broad streets and one-storeyed, whitewashed houses, is a little city in the sky, lying as it does in a cup-shaped depression at the summit of a high, bare mountain. Its long, straight, main street reminds one very much of a small country town in England, if it were not that everyone is, by law, compelled to wear the national dress, and every man has in his belt his big, long- barrelled revolver, without which he must never go out of doors. The men, sturdy mountaineers, are of fine physique- handsome fellows, all of them. Their dress consists of dark blue baggy trousers, white woollen gaiters, raw-hide shoes, a scarlet jacket heavily braided with gold, and a small round cap, with black silk around the edge and the crown of the same colour as the jacket, bearing the Prince's initials in Servian letters, "H.I." The women, who are particularly good-looking, wear dark skirts, beautifully hand-embroidered blouses, and a kind of long coat, with open sleeves of soft, dove-grey cloth. Forbidden to wear European hats, they are compelled to adopt an exactly similar cap to the men, except that the crown is embroidered instead of bearing the royal initials. Nowhere have I seen such glorification of the male as in Montenegro. To the men, born fighters as they are, work is undignified; therefore the women toil while the opposite sex look on. I saw women employed in building operations and performing work which, in other countries, is left to day- labourers. Cettinje is quaint in the extreme. The only houses of foreigners are the various Legations, and the only foreigners are diplomats with their wives and families. The first thing that strikes the stranger is the number of petroleum tins. Opposite the hotel I saw a great ring of empty tins, numbering some hundreds, ranged around a fountain. A few women were squatting gossiping, and an armed policeman lounged against the water-source. On inquiry, I found that there was a water famine, and the tins had been placed there at dawn to await the moment when the authorities thought fit to allow the people to get their daily supply. The women had gone away to work, and would return later. The Monte- negrins a short time ago constructed a reservoir, but there was a crack in it, so the water ran away. Hence the famine. The petroleum tin is never out of sight for a single moment in Cettinje. At any hour, and in any street, you see women and children carrying them. They are used for everything, from milk-pails to flower-pots. In Cettinje one comes for the first time up against the dark-faced, scowling Albanian in his tightly fitting trousers of white wool striped with black, his dirty white fez, and the swagger of superiority in his gait. He is well armed, and for a good reason. The Montenegrin hates the Albanian, because of the constant border feuds over at Podgoritza, where blood is constantly spilt, and where I have seen a Montenegrin in the market squatting over a basket of apples with a loaded rifle. That morning I was chatting to a man in Montenegrin dress, of whom I had bought some excellent cigarettes, manufactured by the Montenegro Tobacco Monopoly-an Italian syndicate, by the way and happened to mention that I was on my way to Albania. "Ah, gospodin!" he exclaimed, holding up both his hands, and glancing at the revolver in my belt. "Take my advice. Don't go into Albania or Macedonia. You are not safe there from one moment to the other. For half a word they'll shoot you dead as easily as they drink a glass of wine. No man's life is worth a moment's purchase there. I'm Albanian myself from Kroja-and I know." This was scarcely reassuring. I looked about me on every hand as I strolled through Cettinje. All was so quiet, so orderly, so very peaceful there, even though the big, burly mountaineers in the gold-laced jackets eyed me with askance as I passed. Not without some trepidation I took a number of photographs, for I had heard that, like the Turk, the Monte- negrin was averse to having his counterfeit presentment put upon paper. Nevertheless, the first feeling of insecurity having passed, I very soon found myself quite at home in Cettinje, and in the midst of very good and kind friends. A good many foreigners come up from Cattaro to pry about Cettinje for a day or two, buy picture-postcards and antique arms, sneer at the honest Montenegrin, and return into Dalmatia. Towards such, the Montenegrin is not par- ticularly polite. But those who go to Cettinje to seriously and thoroughly study the people and their future will find a great deal of genuine and charming hospitality. My first day in Cettinje was lonely. Afterwards, until I left, I was always with friends and officials, who took the greatest trouble to answer my questions and explain matters. Montenegro is entirely unlike any other country in the world. Its air of antiquity is particularly pleasing, while on every hand the beneficent rule of Prince Nicholas is apparent. Every man in Montenegro swears by his Prince, whom he almost worships. They call him their "father," and if His Royal Highness raised the standard of war to- morrow, every man would rise and fight to the death. The Prince is accessible to all his people-more so to them, indeed, than to the diplomats. Sometimes, early in the morning, he will sit in an arm-chair on the steps leading to the entrance of his palace, and there hear the complaints or petitions of his people. In this patriarchal way he often ministers justice. Last year he granted Montenegro a Constitution, and there is now a Skupshtina similar to that of Servia; but the people have not yet quite understood that in future they must go to the Ministers, and not to their Prince. They will see him, and nobody else. In no country is loyalty and patriotism so strong as in Montenegro. The army is well trained, and the whole country being one huge natural fortress, a foreign enemy would experience enormous difficulty in gaining entrance. In Cettinje, even a constant traveller like myself meets with continual surprises. One day, while walking at the rear of the Bigliardo, or old palace-so called because when built the first billiard table was introduced-I heard the sound of clanking chains behind me. At first I took no notice, but as it continued with regular rhythm I glanced behind, when, to my amaze- ment, I saw a convict in leg-fetters with difficulty taking his afternoon stroll beneath the trees! There were several others on the grass plot before the prison, idling in the shadow or gossiping with their friends, who had come to keep them company! Inquiriesshowed that most of these prisoners were murderers, not for robbery but for vendetta. In Montenegro the blood- feud is constant, and life is held very cheap. It invariably commences by jealousy, and is of everyday occurrence. Two lovers quarrel, and one is shot. Then the blood-feud commences, and unlike in Italy or other Southern countries, the vendetta is not only upon the murderer, but upon his next-of-kin. Therefore, if the assassin escapes into Servia, Bosnia, or Turkey, as he so often does, the brother of the dead man takes up the feud and kills the assassin's brother without parley when next he meets him. I myself saw a man shot dead one night in Ryeka, at the head of the Lake of Scutari, and the murderer walked coolly away undeterred. It was the blood-feud, and no one took much notice. "S'bogom!" (God be with you!) It is the expression you hear on every hand in the Balkans. In the streets the peasants touch their round caps in salute and exclaim, "S'bogom!" When you leave for a journey and when you return, when you rise and when you go to rest; even if you go for a short walk-it is the same. Life is so uncertain in those wild regions that the protection of the Almighty is invoked upon you always, and your revolver is ever ready in your belt. In Cettinje I had a faithful guide and servant, a black-eyed, somewhat sinister-looking Albanian, named Palok. He travelled with me through Montenegro and Albania, and was most faithful and devoted. Besides Albanian and Serb he spoke a little Italian, and possessed a keen sense of humour. One day, while we were travelling through the wild, bare mountain, a perfect wilderness of huge boulders without a single tree or even blade of grass, we halted for our midday meal, and while eating he told me of a great friend of his who had recently been killed at Spuz for vendetta, and he added, fondling the butt of his revolver, "I too, gospodin, shall die before long." I looked at him in surprise. His usually humorous face had changed. It was dark and thoughtful, and his black eyes were fixed upon me. "Is there a blood-feud upon you, then?" I asked, in surprise. "Yes," he replied briefly; and though I endeavoured to persuade him to tell the story, it was not until the following day that with some reluctance he explained. "A year ago my brother Tef, away in Scutari, fell in love with a beautiful girl. He had a rival-a young Albanian, a coppersmith in the bazaar. They quarrelled, but the girl-ah! she was very beautiful-preferred Tef. Where- upon the rival one night took his rifle and laid in wait for my brother in the main street of Scutari. Early in the evening he left the house of the girl's father, and as he passed the fellow shot poor Tef dead." And he paused as his brow knit deeply, and his teeth were set tightly. "Well?" I asked. "Well, gospodin. What would you have done had your own brother died a dog's death? I took a rifle, and within a week the murderer was in his grave. I shot him through the heart and then I left Scutari." "And you are safe here, in Montenegro ?" "Safe! Oh dear, no," he answered. "One day-it may be to-day-the fellow's brother will kill me. He must kill me. It is Fate-why worry about it? It does one no good." And the marked man, the man doomed to die at a moment when he least expects it, rolled a cigarette and lit it with perfect resignment. "And are you not afraid to go with me back to Scutari?" I asked, amazed at his fearlessness. "Afraid, gospodin!" he exclaimed, looking at me in reproach as his hand instinctively wandered to his weapon. "Afraid! No Albanian is afraid of the blood-feud. I have killed the murderer, and his brother must kill me. It is our law." And the doomed man smiled gravely. "And the girl?" I asked. "Ah! They are all the same," he answered, with a quick shrug of the shoulders. "A month ago she married a tobacco- seller a man old enough to be her father. Poor Tef! If he could but know!" "And the blood-feud still continues?" "Of course-until I am dead." Then Palok smoked on in silence, entirely resigned to the fate that awaits him. He knows that one day, as he walks along the road, the sharp crack of a hidden rifle will sound, and he will fall to earth, another victim of a woman's fickleness. S'bogom! God be with you! CHAPTER II AN AUDIENCE OF PRINCE NICHOLAS The Palace at Cettinje-A cigarette with the Prince-The policy of Monte- negro-A confidential chat-His Royal Highness's admiration for England-His views upon Macedonia-He urges me not to attempt to go to Albania, but I persuade him to help me-His Highness's kindness -Souvenirs. HIS Royal Highness the Prince will be pleased to grant you private audience at four o'clock this after- noon, gospodin." The tall, burly aide-de-camp in the little round cap, high boots, pale blue overcoat, and pistols in his belt, saluted, and we shook hands. It was then three o'clock, and I was just about to go out to visit Madame Constantinovitch, the mother of Princess Mirko. So I had to return at once to my room and dress for the audience. The kings and princes of the Balkans have a habit of summoning one at a moment's notice, and paying visits at unearthly hours. Here, in Cettinje, in the heart of these wild, desolate fast- nesses, one seems so far removed from European influence, yet how great a part has this rocky, impregnable country, with its fierce soldier-inhabitants, played in the politics of Eastern Europe, and how great a part it is still destined to play in the near future! The fact that everybody is armed gives the stranger an uncanny feeling. The man who brings one's coffee wears a perfect arsenal of weapons in his sash, and one quickly acquires the habit of carrying a revolver one's self. Indeed, if you are wise, you will carry a good serviceable weapon from the moment you enter the Balkans to the moment you quit them. But if you approach the Albanian frontier, you will be at once warned not to fire without just cause. A few shots is sufficient to alarm the whole neighbourhood for many miles, and on hearing the alarm every man seizes his rifle and flies to the rendezvous, fully equipped and eager for the fight with those Albanian border tribes, of whom I afterwards had the good fortune to be the guest. I had already had a long chat with Prince Danilo, the Crown Prince of Montenegro, whom I found a very smart and highly educated man, fully alive to the political difficulties of the neighbouring states and the necessity of Montenegro preserving her independence. He held very strong views upon the terrible state of affairs in Macedonia, and gave me many interesting details about his own country. Having met him, and also his younger brother, Prince Mirko, I was particularly anxious to make the acquaintance of their father, Prince Nicholas, the ruler of the sturdy, warlike dwellers of the "Land of the Black Mountain "-the principal and most striking figure in this remarkable country, where peace and war walk ever hand-in-hand. Since 1860, when his uncle, Prince Danilo, was assassinated, he has ruled justly, if somewhat sternly, and has succeeded in raising his nation from a state of semi-civilisation to the high place it now occupies in the Eastern world. In 1888 he gave the country a Civil and Criminal Code, and last year he granted a Constitution. Indeed, he has done all in his power to induce his warriors to follow the arts of peace without forgetting those of war. At the hour appointed, the royal aide-de-camp called in a carriage and drove me to the Palace, a long, dark brown building of somewhat plain exterior, as befits the home of a fighting race, where I was received in the great hall by half a dozen bowing servants in scarlet and gold. Here I was met by the chamberlain, who conducted me up the grand staircase and into the great audience-chamber, with its many fine paintings and highly polished floor. Then, after a moment, the Prince-a brilliant figure-entered, shook me by the hand, and welcomed me to Montenegro. These formalities ended, His Royal Highness said in Italian, "Come, let us go into yonder room. We shall be able to talk there more comfortably." And he led me into a smaller chamber, where he gave me a seat at the table where he sat. The afternoon was gloomy, and dusk was creeping on, therefore upon the table a great antique silver candelabra had been set, and by its light I was enabled to obtain a good view of the ruler of Crnagora, the "Land of the Black Mountain." Of magnificent physique, tall, muscular, with hair slightly grey, he bore his sixty-five years lightly. Attired in the splendid national costume of scarlet, blue, and gold, with high boots, he wore a single decoration at his throat, the Cross of Danilo, of which Order he is Master. Upon his hand- some, well-cut features the candles shed a soft light, causing the gold upon his dress to glitter, and I noticed, as I asked him questions, how his dark, keen eyes shot quick, inquiring glances of alertness. After the first few minutes of regal formality His Highness's manner entirely changed. Putting ceremony aside, he pro- duced his cigarette case of crocodile skin, with the royal crown and cipher in gold in the corner-offered me a Montenegrin cigarette, took one himself, lit mine with his own hand, and then we fell to chatting. In the delightful hour and a half we smoked together I asked the prince-poet many questions, and learnt many things. He explained several difficult points in Balkan politics, which to me, an Englishman, had always been puzzling. We spoke in Italian of Macedonia and of a certain well-known foreign diplomat in London who was our mutual friend, the Prince giving me a very kind message to deliver to him. Presently I referred to the splendid result of his rule, and related to him a little incident which had occurred to me in Nyegush a few days before, as showing how deeply he was beloved by his nation. A smile crossed his fine open countenance as he replied simply, "I have done my best for my people-my very best; and I shall do so as long as God gives me life. I am happy to believe that my people appreciate my efforts." "And now, Monseigneur," I asked, "will you tell me what is the present position of Montenegro?" "The present position is peace," was his prompt answer. "I have granted a Constitution, and the first meeting of the new Skupshtina has been held successfully. Though the Albanian question is always with us, I am thankful to say we are on the most excellent terms with Turkey, while towards Russia we are pursuing our traditional policy. For the Emperor Francis Josef of Austria I have nothing but the most profound admiration, and I owe very much to him." "And towards England, Monseigneur ?" "England has been, as you know, Montenegro's very best friend," replied the Prince. "I, personally, have the greatest respect and admiration for your great country. We Montenegrins always remember that it was Mr. Gladstone who gave us the strip of seaboard on the Adriatic with Dulcigno. He was our greatest friend, and his memory is respected by admirer by every man in Montenegro. Of Tennyson, too, I am a great I am very fond of his poems." "You are a poet yourself, Monseigneur," I remarked, remembering that more than one poetical drama from his pen had been successfully produced on the stage. His Royal Highness smiled, and puffed slowly at his cigarette. "I have written one or two little things, it is true; but nothing of late." "I wonder if I dare ask your Royal Highness to write a few lines for me as a souvenir of my visit?" I asked, not without some trepidation. "Ah!-well-I won't promise," he laughed. "All depends whether I'm in the mood for it." "But you will try, won't you? And the Prince nodded assent. Then we spoke of Servia and of recent events there; but he was not inclined to discuss the question, and naturally so, when it is remembered that his daughter was the late wife of King Peter. Returning to the burning question of Macedonia, I saw that he was well informed of all that was transpiring around lakes Presba and Ochrida and down in Serres. "It is a monstrous state of affairs," he declared. "Something must be done at once, for as soon as spring comes again the massacres will increase." "But there are outrages, tortures, and massacres every day," I remarked. "Ah yes," he sighed, "I know. Most terrible details have reached me lately. But you are going to Macedonia yourself, and you will see with your own eyes." "And what, in your opinion, would be the best settlement of the question?" I inquired. "There is but one way, namely, for the Powers to call a conference and place Macedonia under a governor - general, who must be a European prince. The reforms would then be carried out, and the Greek bands expelled from the country. How long will Europe tolerate the present frightful state of affairs?" "The fact is, Monseigneur, that we, in England, are very ignorant of the true state of things, or even of the facts of the Macedonian question," I said. "Ah, there you are quite correct. If your English public knew what was really happening-how an innocent Christian population is being slaughtered and exterminated because of international rivalry-they would cry shame upon those responsible for this wholesale murder and outrage. But" -he smiled-" I almost forget myself. My position as a ruler forbids me to talk politics, you know!" And we laughed together. "So you are going to Servia, Bulgaria, Roumania, and to Constantinople-eh?" he remarked a little later, when we had lit fresh cigarettes. "In Bulgaria, and also in Roumania, you will see many things that will interest you. The Bul- garians are very strongly armed, and so are the Roumanians." "Her Majesty the Queen of Roumania has also promised me audience," I said. "When you see her, will you please present to Her Majesty my most cordial respects. She is so very charming." "I want, Monseigneur, to visit Northern Albania, leaving Montenegro by Ryeka and Scutari. Would that be the best route, do you think?" "What!" he exclaimed, in surprise. "Do you actually contemplate visiting the tribes up in the Accursed Mountains?" "Certainly. Why not?" "Well, my advice is, don't think of going there. If you do, you will never return. You'll be shot at sight, like a dog. You have no idea what those uncivilised tribes are like. The whole country is utterly lawless." "So I understand. But I've also heard that the Albanian possesses a deep sense of honour. And I thought that I might possibly obtain permission from one or other of the chiefs." The Prince was silent for a moment. Then, looking at me across the table, said- "Do not go. It is far too great a risk." His advice was the same that my, friends in London had given me; the same that I had received there, in the market-place of Cettinje. But I was determined, and pressed His Royal Highness to assist me, at last receiving his promise of help. By his kind permission, the Albanian named Palok acted as my guide, and what eventually happened to me in that wild region will be seen in the following pages. "Well," exclaimed the Prince at last, "if you go up there, it must be at your own risk. I've warned you of the danger. No one has been up there for many years. It has been at- tempted, of course, but travellers have either been held to ransom, and the Turks have been compelled to pay for their release, or else they have simply been shot by the first Albanian meeting them. The country beyond Scutari is the most unsafe in the whole Balkan Peninsula." I replied that I intended to make the attempt. "Well, then, I wish you buon viaggio," he laughed. "May every good luck attend you, and as we say in Montenegro - S'bogom! (God be with you!) When you return for I suppose you will pass this way down to the sea-come and see me, and tell me all about the Skreli and Kastrati country -for of course I am highly interested. They are always at war with our people on the frontier." "I will let your Royal Highness know the moment I am back in Cettinje," I promised. Then rising, he gripped my hand warmly, saying- "Then I will help you if I can. Be careful of yourself, for I shall be anxious about you. Again, S'bogom!" And the Prince accompanied me to the head of the grand staircase, where I made my obeisance, turned and descended through the rows of armed and bowing servants ranged in the hall, charmed by His Royal Highness's graciousness towards me and by the pleasant chat I had enjoyed. When, after my journey through Northern Albania, I one afternoon re-entered that audience-chamber, and he came forward with outstretched hand to greet me, he exclaimed- "Well, well! I am so glad to see you back safe and sound. You look a little thinner in the face a little travel-worn- eh? Life in the Albanian mountains is not like your life in London or Paris, is it? But never mind as long as you are safe," he laughed, placing his hand kindly upon my shoulder. "Come along to this room. It is more cosy," and he led me to the smaller apartment, his own private cabinet. For nearly two hours I sat relating to him what occurred on my journey, and describing the wild country which had, until then, been practically a sealed book. Even though Cettinje is so near, hardly anything was known of the Skreli, the Hoti, the Klementi, or the Kastrati tribes, save that they were brigandish bands who constantly raided the Montenegrin frontier. The Prince listened to me with great attention, and put many questions to me as we smoked together. Then rising, he took from a drawer in his great writing- table a small scarlet box, and as he opened it he bestowed upon me a compliment undeserved, for he said - "There are few men who would have risked what you have done. Therefore I wish to invest you with our Order of Danilo, as a mark of my appreciation and esteem." And he displayed to me the beautiful dark blue and white enamelled cross of the Order, the same that he was wearing at his throat, surmounted by the royal crown and suspended upon the white ribbon edged with cerise. After he had invested me with the Order, saying many kind things to me, which I really don't think I deserved, he added- "The chef du chancellerie will send you the diploma in due course, and I trust, when you petition your own gracious Sovereign King Edward, that His Majesty will allow you to wear this insignia." I thanked His Royal Highness, gripped his hand, and a few minutes later passed through the line of bowing servants out of the Palace. And that same evening I received from His Royal Highness the signed photograph which appears in these pages. Before I left Cettinje I received the following expressive lines, written especially for me by a Montenegrin poet who is a great personage, but whose name he would not permit me to give. They are in Servian as follows, and I have placed their English translation below :- S' veledušnog Albiona Pružiše se dvije ruke Crnoj Gori da pomogu U junačke njene muke S' vrućom rječu na ustima Gladston diže Crnogorce A Tenison za najprve U svijet ih broi borce Na glas svoih Velikana Britanski se narod trže Da pomože da zaštiti Crnu Goru iz najbrže Posla svoje bojne ladje Sto na tečnost gospostvuju Veledušno da zaštite Domovinu milu Moju O fala ti po sto puta Blagorodni lyudi Soju Dok je svjeta dok je greda Nad Ulcinjem koje stoju Hraniće ti blagodarnost Ova šaka sokolova Koima si u pomoci Stiga putem od valova. The literal translation in English is as follows:- From the great-souled Albion, Two arms were stretched To help Montenegro In her heroic sufferings. With fiery word on his lips Gladstone lifts up Montenegrins, Whilst Tennyson declared them The very first fighters in the world. On the call of their great men, British people rose up In quickest manner, to help And to protect Montenegro. They despatched their war-ships, Which rule over the seas, Generously to protect My Fatherland so dear to me. Oh! thanks to thee, hundredfold thanks, Noble race of men. As long as the world lasts, As long as the mountains above Dulcigno stand, Will remain grateful to thee, This handful of falcons, To whose help thou didst come By the road of the waves. - An Observer in the Near East - William Le Queux. Publisher, E. Nash, 1907. \** https://preview.redd.it/jg36zlvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eacb8abc6368963f81177eefecbd44642c09cd97 https://preview.redd.it/7lh8gmvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=225f2bc1649240bfe5c57e72dfdaf93f28938bb7 https://preview.redd.it/2lvn8hwu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6677bcd6e7d76a5f229b5ea7e61c9f0a5596ea47 https://preview.redd.it/pgqltmvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e4acf257abe5f0223c62635ecd9ac2a4f5e9614e https://preview.redd.it/xktn0ovu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=14d6087bbc6b3028c40e6e978674d470e23fab35 https://preview.redd.it/4zps2mvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=51e5049c7cbbc1fc455754e40e04c9b2c9a124e0 https://preview.redd.it/9qr2xrwu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=48f98198cad524a0157100b60325e72d6b2f1770 https://preview.redd.it/ywzpenvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7118b6072a634d6ccce1b96eaab6bebbf987e194 https://preview.redd.it/9h2y0mvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=966897fbdcca422eee9ff410852bcd8cbe89d1ae https://preview.redd.it/07po9ovu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8a078de6ef8ffc1808160270e46329f3a097d21 https://preview.redd.it/n89tenvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea8a9fee167bb25b07ec3137bd235d600cb9dbe4 https://preview.redd.it/vv7knswu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa295c8644a75b5f5a5050bf0795875f9925c3b5 https://preview.redd.it/q1jxpnvu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d7431b419b1f5c1a33dba099465285fc5ed5297 https://preview.redd.it/w44qbfwu1nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e18314ac2a333efe0b2d9301f7fba3c6d40b12f4 https://preview.redd.it/mclcb6tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=90e4b7fedc3b3d63ee33c7c2cbd1b990a60203f3 https://preview.redd.it/qf6829tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97e01c85545926178ccddbaee3ef4d96f2052201 https://preview.redd.it/5rqaz5tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b90176f3da386c7875f33301b02806cbfd8ec2c1 https://preview.redd.it/702o47tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7f3fe6bbf9e492105e72f1a551d902ec74218d03 https://preview.redd.it/bloxg8ug2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b3d48034feb0a9f8f192e91df103a0308991c8b https://preview.redd.it/a2jhb8tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb9a7fbfbce7700a06aa50574a786668dd321727 https://preview.redd.it/jgiqu6tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ec2b5af58c8e25428d0c39550ed54d71e6c9188c https://preview.redd.it/ud3kc5tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=73dd2e0d96ef1cae5d9d934234db8f886b543e83 https://preview.redd.it/59uib9tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b319597ac2f654c036eddec48c29e9ad539bebb https://preview.redd.it/8ahdu6tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ccad4eec7cb2a6ec943633f09df5e4c6368e21a https://preview.redd.it/iat3u8ug2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd80620268744a4d40a5d90aa291c5c56a5f64a9 https://preview.redd.it/ix1wp7tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0167cb5340b66f879442cdee00459649a31d8400 https://preview.redd.it/6p3tr6tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff95f8f74a7a65050a8abd518f321a186425ff92 https://preview.redd.it/iqvfy6tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b0216c5b990fc3f44ac5b266cd3838b2830b295b https://preview.redd.it/d94is8tg2nzc1.jpg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74c14118e9431762a63800f3f25ed864ea637e52 |
2024.05.10 17:50 joe6386 Sleepy lectures, training sessions that cause injuries and more: behind-the-scenes behind-the-scenes of Manchester United's crisis -PL Brazil
It was still midway through the second half when Michael Olise hit the corner with a beautiful shot from outside the box, leaving goalkeeper André Onana with no chance. It was his second goal of the day for Crystal Palace against Manchester United — it was his fourth in total. Before him, Jean-Philippe Mateta and Tyrick Mitchell also didn't have much trouble breaking through the Red Devils' defense.
The scene accurately symbolized what a broken giant is. Onana , brought in to be the starting goalkeeper, kneels. Casemiro , an almost incomparable winner in football, standing up after being disarmed on his own pitch. Mason Mount, the season's biggest signing, holds his head in his hands as he looks up at the sky. Three pillars of the first team who are unable to bring the success they had at other clubs to Old Trafford.
Not to mention the 10 absences due to injury – Rashford, Lisandro Martínez and Varane among them – whose reactions from the sofa at home were not exposed, but could not have been better.
After all, the defeat suffered by the current 14th place in the Premier League is far from being just an accident on the road. On the contrary: it is the most recent episode of the crisis experienced by Manchester United in the 2023/24 season.
Manchester United's moment
In the Premier League , the biggest winner in English football is in 8th place in the table. If it ended now, it would be the worst campaign since 1989/90 , when Sir Alex Ferguson was just a promising manager. In the Champions League , the team finished last in its group; In the League Cup , they fell without offering any resistance to Newcastle; In the FA Cup , the last gasp: they are in the final, but only after beating the modest Coventry City on penalties, after seeing a 3-0 in favor turn into 3-3. The players didn't even have the courage to celebrate qualifying .
There are 81 goals conceded in all competitions, the highest number in almost 50 years.
A giant who, after average years, ended last season champion and with a great third place. He maintained the base of the squad and the work of a coach who seemed ideal to make them protagonists again. Until the train derailed
Behind the scenes: the factors that explain Manchester United's crisis
What you read below is an investigation by PL Brasil with exclusive information about United's internal environment. Material that, in addition to pointing the finger at individual performances, shows how the relationship between players, Erik Ten Hag and other club employees took the Red Devils to hell.
Too many difficult and sleepy tactical meetings
The way Erik Ten Hag approaches preparing for matches is the subject of complaints in the Manchester United dressing room. What we heard is that the Dutch coach has a habit of holding tactical meetings before each game in an unusual way. They tend to be long, lasting 30 to 40 minutes, and are repeated three or four times weekly — a frequency that bothers and surprises the locker room.
More than one athlete in the squad says they had more talks of this type with Ten Hag at United than in the rest of their career. Reports are of players' lack of concentration and even drowsiness during the sessions.
This in itself would explain the difficulty United have against teams that are unmatched in terms of talent. There were 12 goals conceded to Palace, Burnley, Sheffield, Coventry and Bournemouth, for example, in the last five games.
Episode against Everton undermined the squad’s confidence
But, as if bad teaching wasn't enough, there are still cases where the problem was bigger than assimilation. PL Brasil heard that a specific episode undermined the coach's credibility with the squad.
Before the game against Everton, on March 9, Ten Hag spent long hours explaining to the team that the Toffees would play at Old Trafford with low lines, without putting pressure on the home team to get the ball out. The game started and it was exactly the opposite: Everton stifled United's defense from the first second.
There were at least four good chances created in the opening 15 minutes. Before the end of the first half, Dalot lost a ball in the defense field that was not a goal because Onana avoided it. Evans was another tackled near the area, in a move that Varane saved the team.
United ended up winning the game. Garnacho found two penalties in individual plays in the first half, which were converted by Bruno Fernandes and Rashford. But the case was enough to increase the distrust of those under command towards the commander.
Manchester (dis)United: group management heavily criticized
Regardless of his ability as a coach, Ten Hag's relationship with the players is not a strong point of his time at United.
There is no shortage of recent evidence of this. Just remember how Cristiano Ronaldo was “kicked” from the club, in the middle of the 2022/23 season. Recently, Jadon Sancho had a public fight with the Dutchman before being loaned to Borussia Dortmund — and reaching the Champions League final. Rashford also added cases of indiscipline.
The way Ten Hag deals with these personal situations has not gone down well with the squad leaders since his termination with CR7. There is a view in the dressing room that he does not have enough experience to manage the squad of a club the size of Manchester United.
Another complaint concerns the “heavy” atmosphere that the coach creates after the team’s defeats. It is not uncommon for him to opt for “exaggerated” individual demands while still in the locker room, including with athletes who arrived in Manchester at the Dutchman’s request.
Even in episodes where the punishment is fair and the attitude is condemned by the majority of the cast, the lack of criteria is highlighted. We found that other players committed indiscipline “of the same degree” as Sancho and were not close to the same “conviction”.
(Preventable) unprecedented injury crisis
A survey by the “Mirror” shows that the number of physical problems at Manchester United since August last year exceeds 60. It is more than double that of recent years. Although there is some credit to the bloated English calendar, internally, many athletes credit Erik Ten Hag's training for the excess of injuries.
According to some, he makes the mistake of maintaining the same training load throughout the season, even if the accumulated fatigue is much greater in the final stretch.
“He blows everyone away” , PL Brasil heard. Exhausting sessions, canceling days off and complaining about training have been pertinent topics at United for some time.
In December, “Sky Sports” did an article about how the Dutchman had already lost the support of half the squad due to his questionable methods. It was already clear how much his choices were “blowing out” several athletes.
But if Ten Hag makes so many mistakes, is no one capable of correcting it? There are two main problems that go beyond the Dutchman's drawing board. The first is that United is going through a transition phase at the club in which it does not have a sporting director.
Without a director, Ten Hag commands and dismantles
The club made a deal with Dan Ashworth, from Newcastle, but the target is still spending his last few weeks at the club in the north of England. This means that there is no one strong enough to prune Ten Hag in the football hierarchy.
And the second involves a structural problem at the club. The new owner, Jim Ratcliffe, has already given interviews about the precariousness he found in United's facilities. The medical department is no exception.
Medical department generates complaints
Manchester is seen as a football team that has fallen behind its rivals when it comes to scientific methods and modernization. Poor DM performance is also cited as a cause of recurrent injuries.
We found out that, not surprisingly, players sometimes prefer to consult a private specialist or ignore the injury rather than opting for treatment from the club's physiotherapists. In addition to quantity, rarity. This season, Casemiro injured his hamstring – it was the first muscle injury in the 32-year-old midfielder's entire career. He got injured in training, came back, had the same injury and missed important commitments for the Brazilian team.
Luke Shaw was another who was injured in August, returned in November and had the same injury in February. They were the most serious muscle injuries of his career. The left-back missed 30 games this season. Last year, he was only out of three.
What has changed in a year?
What is striking is that none of this can be treated as new. Ten Hag was already at the club when United had their most successful recent season in 2022/23. League Cup champion , third place in the Premier League. The structure did not regress either. So what has changed?
PL Brasil understands, based on internal reports, that the context has changed. In the first season, working in England for the first time, Ten Hag chose a less abrupt and more conciliatory stance — although episodes like Ronaldo's happened.
The same happened on the part of the players, who were “feeling the style” of the coach upon his arrival. A sum of concessions that, combined with good results on the field, got the team going.
However, what was an advantage turned into a shot in the foot. Empowered by the title and morale, the coach felt more comfortable imposing his style in the second year. And the players, meanwhile, found themselves increasingly worn out. Therein lies the recipe for decadence.
Ratcliffe is also named
It is true that United are going through a transition phase. The Glazer family, which has owned the club for the past few decades, has sold its controlling interest to billionaire Sir Jim Ratcliffe. What this means in terms of change is still unclear.
Ratcliffe makes no secret of the fact that he wants to carry out renovations, ranging from the Old Trafford stadium to the squad, including the training center. But he does not believe in Ten Hag staying or leaving, nor any player.
The impression given is that the new owners do not feel comfortable taking drastic action before the end of the season. Especially because, in the event of failure — which is almost a certainty in the current context — they will already bear the weight of their mistakes.
The distance is so great that Ratcliffe only met the cast once. And the meeting still took place at the request of the players, and not the boss. Symptomatic.
Trying to save the worst campaign in history in the Premier League, United hosts Arsenal this Sunday (12), in the third to last round. It is difficult to imagine a more difficult confrontation at a more turbulent time than this. We await scenes from the next chapters at Old Trafford.
submitted by joe6386 to red_muppets [link] [comments]
The scene accurately symbolized what a broken giant is. Onana , brought in to be the starting goalkeeper, kneels. Casemiro , an almost incomparable winner in football, standing up after being disarmed on his own pitch. Mason Mount, the season's biggest signing, holds his head in his hands as he looks up at the sky. Three pillars of the first team who are unable to bring the success they had at other clubs to Old Trafford.
Not to mention the 10 absences due to injury – Rashford, Lisandro Martínez and Varane among them – whose reactions from the sofa at home were not exposed, but could not have been better.
After all, the defeat suffered by the current 14th place in the Premier League is far from being just an accident on the road. On the contrary: it is the most recent episode of the crisis experienced by Manchester United in the 2023/24 season.
Manchester United's moment
In the Premier League , the biggest winner in English football is in 8th place in the table. If it ended now, it would be the worst campaign since 1989/90 , when Sir Alex Ferguson was just a promising manager. In the Champions League , the team finished last in its group; In the League Cup , they fell without offering any resistance to Newcastle; In the FA Cup , the last gasp: they are in the final, but only after beating the modest Coventry City on penalties, after seeing a 3-0 in favor turn into 3-3. The players didn't even have the courage to celebrate qualifying .
There are 81 goals conceded in all competitions, the highest number in almost 50 years.
A giant who, after average years, ended last season champion and with a great third place. He maintained the base of the squad and the work of a coach who seemed ideal to make them protagonists again. Until the train derailed
Behind the scenes: the factors that explain Manchester United's crisis
What you read below is an investigation by PL Brasil with exclusive information about United's internal environment. Material that, in addition to pointing the finger at individual performances, shows how the relationship between players, Erik Ten Hag and other club employees took the Red Devils to hell.
Too many difficult and sleepy tactical meetings
The way Erik Ten Hag approaches preparing for matches is the subject of complaints in the Manchester United dressing room. What we heard is that the Dutch coach has a habit of holding tactical meetings before each game in an unusual way. They tend to be long, lasting 30 to 40 minutes, and are repeated three or four times weekly — a frequency that bothers and surprises the locker room.
More than one athlete in the squad says they had more talks of this type with Ten Hag at United than in the rest of their career. Reports are of players' lack of concentration and even drowsiness during the sessions.
This in itself would explain the difficulty United have against teams that are unmatched in terms of talent. There were 12 goals conceded to Palace, Burnley, Sheffield, Coventry and Bournemouth, for example, in the last five games.
Episode against Everton undermined the squad’s confidence
But, as if bad teaching wasn't enough, there are still cases where the problem was bigger than assimilation. PL Brasil heard that a specific episode undermined the coach's credibility with the squad.
Before the game against Everton, on March 9, Ten Hag spent long hours explaining to the team that the Toffees would play at Old Trafford with low lines, without putting pressure on the home team to get the ball out. The game started and it was exactly the opposite: Everton stifled United's defense from the first second.
There were at least four good chances created in the opening 15 minutes. Before the end of the first half, Dalot lost a ball in the defense field that was not a goal because Onana avoided it. Evans was another tackled near the area, in a move that Varane saved the team.
United ended up winning the game. Garnacho found two penalties in individual plays in the first half, which were converted by Bruno Fernandes and Rashford. But the case was enough to increase the distrust of those under command towards the commander.
Manchester (dis)United: group management heavily criticized
Regardless of his ability as a coach, Ten Hag's relationship with the players is not a strong point of his time at United.
There is no shortage of recent evidence of this. Just remember how Cristiano Ronaldo was “kicked” from the club, in the middle of the 2022/23 season. Recently, Jadon Sancho had a public fight with the Dutchman before being loaned to Borussia Dortmund — and reaching the Champions League final. Rashford also added cases of indiscipline.
The way Ten Hag deals with these personal situations has not gone down well with the squad leaders since his termination with CR7. There is a view in the dressing room that he does not have enough experience to manage the squad of a club the size of Manchester United.
Another complaint concerns the “heavy” atmosphere that the coach creates after the team’s defeats. It is not uncommon for him to opt for “exaggerated” individual demands while still in the locker room, including with athletes who arrived in Manchester at the Dutchman’s request.
Even in episodes where the punishment is fair and the attitude is condemned by the majority of the cast, the lack of criteria is highlighted. We found that other players committed indiscipline “of the same degree” as Sancho and were not close to the same “conviction”.
(Preventable) unprecedented injury crisis
A survey by the “Mirror” shows that the number of physical problems at Manchester United since August last year exceeds 60. It is more than double that of recent years. Although there is some credit to the bloated English calendar, internally, many athletes credit Erik Ten Hag's training for the excess of injuries.
According to some, he makes the mistake of maintaining the same training load throughout the season, even if the accumulated fatigue is much greater in the final stretch.
“He blows everyone away” , PL Brasil heard. Exhausting sessions, canceling days off and complaining about training have been pertinent topics at United for some time.
In December, “Sky Sports” did an article about how the Dutchman had already lost the support of half the squad due to his questionable methods. It was already clear how much his choices were “blowing out” several athletes.
But if Ten Hag makes so many mistakes, is no one capable of correcting it? There are two main problems that go beyond the Dutchman's drawing board. The first is that United is going through a transition phase at the club in which it does not have a sporting director.
Without a director, Ten Hag commands and dismantles
The club made a deal with Dan Ashworth, from Newcastle, but the target is still spending his last few weeks at the club in the north of England. This means that there is no one strong enough to prune Ten Hag in the football hierarchy.
And the second involves a structural problem at the club. The new owner, Jim Ratcliffe, has already given interviews about the precariousness he found in United's facilities. The medical department is no exception.
Medical department generates complaints
Manchester is seen as a football team that has fallen behind its rivals when it comes to scientific methods and modernization. Poor DM performance is also cited as a cause of recurrent injuries.
We found out that, not surprisingly, players sometimes prefer to consult a private specialist or ignore the injury rather than opting for treatment from the club's physiotherapists. In addition to quantity, rarity. This season, Casemiro injured his hamstring – it was the first muscle injury in the 32-year-old midfielder's entire career. He got injured in training, came back, had the same injury and missed important commitments for the Brazilian team.
Luke Shaw was another who was injured in August, returned in November and had the same injury in February. They were the most serious muscle injuries of his career. The left-back missed 30 games this season. Last year, he was only out of three.
What has changed in a year?
What is striking is that none of this can be treated as new. Ten Hag was already at the club when United had their most successful recent season in 2022/23. League Cup champion , third place in the Premier League. The structure did not regress either. So what has changed?
PL Brasil understands, based on internal reports, that the context has changed. In the first season, working in England for the first time, Ten Hag chose a less abrupt and more conciliatory stance — although episodes like Ronaldo's happened.
The same happened on the part of the players, who were “feeling the style” of the coach upon his arrival. A sum of concessions that, combined with good results on the field, got the team going.
However, what was an advantage turned into a shot in the foot. Empowered by the title and morale, the coach felt more comfortable imposing his style in the second year. And the players, meanwhile, found themselves increasingly worn out. Therein lies the recipe for decadence.
Ratcliffe is also named
It is true that United are going through a transition phase. The Glazer family, which has owned the club for the past few decades, has sold its controlling interest to billionaire Sir Jim Ratcliffe. What this means in terms of change is still unclear.
Ratcliffe makes no secret of the fact that he wants to carry out renovations, ranging from the Old Trafford stadium to the squad, including the training center. But he does not believe in Ten Hag staying or leaving, nor any player.
The impression given is that the new owners do not feel comfortable taking drastic action before the end of the season. Especially because, in the event of failure — which is almost a certainty in the current context — they will already bear the weight of their mistakes.
The distance is so great that Ratcliffe only met the cast once. And the meeting still took place at the request of the players, and not the boss. Symptomatic.
Trying to save the worst campaign in history in the Premier League, United hosts Arsenal this Sunday (12), in the third to last round. It is difficult to imagine a more difficult confrontation at a more turbulent time than this. We await scenes from the next chapters at Old Trafford.
2024.05.10 14:02 FelicitySmoak_ Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - People v. Jackson Day 49
 | Trial Day 49 submitted by FelicitySmoak_ to WhereWasMJToday [link] [comments] Michael goes to court with Katherine and Joe. Joseph Marcus, the property manager at Neverland testified, denying claims that Michael Jackson's teenage accuser and his family were ever held against their will. Marcus testified that he issued an order instructing guards not to let the accuser or his siblings off the property. "I didn't want the guard to lift the arm and let them out," he said.Marcus went on to explain that the children had displayed reckless behavior, which included driving vehicles around the property and up to the gate. The judge moved to strike his explanation after the prosecution objected. Marcus further testified regarding the cancelled trip to Brazil noting that he spoke with the mother in February of 2003, and she had not complained to him regarding the trip. "There was no objection at that point that I know of." said Marcus, adding that she only wanted to know how to go about getting passport photos.The captivity claim and kidnapping are at the heart of the prosecution's conspiracy case. When questioned about phone calls made at the ranch, Joseph Marcus explained that all calls could be monitored by way of two phones, one in the main house, and one in Jackson's office. Each employee is issued a handbook that warns them of this possible monitoring. Although he received a complaint regarding telephone monitoring Marcus stated that he did not listen in on calls and added: "I don't think (Jackson) monitored, to my knowledge."Deputy District Attorney Auchincloss suggested that Marcus' testimony was altered to help Mr. Jackson. "Why do you keep looking at Mr. Jackson?" he asked.Marcus appeared startled and didn't answer. The defense objected, and the objection was sustained by Judge Melville. "Do you consider yourself a loyal employee of Mr. Jackson?" the prosecutor continued.Auchincloss then tried to establish if he took orders from anyone else at the ranch, including Jackson associate Dieter Wiesner, in an attempt to link Mr. Jackson to the alleged conspiracy. "I would take requests from Dieter Wiesner and address them as needed," he said.Auchincloss tried to discredit Marcus and asked, "Do you have any knowledge of children sleeping in Mr. Jackson's room?" asked Auchincloss. "Yes," said Marcus.Auchincloss directed the attention of the questioning to the adult material seized from Jacksons Neverland Ranch. "Do you know if Mr. Jackson possesses adult erotic materials?" the prosecutor asked.The prosecutor then showed a picture of Jackson's desk with tiny figurines of women in bondage attire standing upon it. "Would you consider the figurines I showed you adult materials?" the prosecutor asked.The Prosecutor went on, insinuating that Jackson's "special friends" are mostly boys not girls or women. However, Marcus said there were also females who were close to Mr. Jackson. When asked for names, the only names he could remember were Elizabeth Taylor, Liza Minnelli, a grandchild of Marlon Brando, and Karlee Barnes (the sister of Brett Barnes) but added that other women had passed through the gates Court Transcript Trial Reenactment Defense attorney Thomas Mesereau Jr arriving at court Arriving at court Arriving at court Arriving at court Defense attorney Thomas Mesereau Jr arriving Defense witness Jim Van Norman arriving at court Leaving court Waving as he leaves court Leaving court Leaving court Defense witnesses Jim Van Norman & Joe Marcus leave court Arriving at court Defense witness Joe Marcus arrives at court Walking into the courthouse Defense witness Joe Marcus arrives with attorney Jesus Castillo Defense attorney Thomas Mesereau Jr. leaves the courtroom Prosecutor Tom Sneddon leaves the courtroom |
2024.05.10 06:19 kayenano The Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer: Chapter 237
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Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
Chapter 237: A Reverie For The Soul
Words failed me.
As a princess, pitchforks symbolised the weapon of the peasantry.
They were instruments more lethal than any blade or knife in the dark. For they represented the final curtain. The ending act of my kingdom, lifted as the banner and weapon of revolt amidst a fanfare of blood and flames.
As great as the shadows cast by the lances of our enemies, none were as black a void as ordinary tools cast by a mob rallying to the cry of revolution.
That’s why–
As I watched a literal farmer bend his knees, not to reach the ground in prostration, but to leap towards me like a warrior with a trident, all I could do was tremble with horror.
It was the most gruesome of sights.
Neither a battlefield strewn with the corpses of the deceased, nor a tarte aux pommes baked without a generous layer of pecan nuts could instil in me the trepidation I felt, touching my very bones.
Indeed … to be attacked by a farmer with a pitchfork was one thing, but to be attacked by only a single one was an utter humiliation!
In all my darkest dreams, no sight of my family’s throne being emptied involved anything less than the entire populace of my kingdom’s peasantry rising against us!
And yet … all I saw before me was a single dishevelled farmer, wielding a pitchfork blunted by soil, barely fit to ward away the foxes which trespassed upon his land!
Where was the raucous shouting?
The complaints heard high into the heavens?
The frenzied bloodlust of an uncontrollable crowd?
There was no legion of witnesses to my end! No loyalists turning away in fright! No servants stealing away with the last of our ornamental cutlery!
This! This was a disgrace!
I was Juliette Contzen, 3rd Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea … and I refused to contemplate being struck by anything less than an entire mob!
That’s why–
“Absolutely not!!”
Starlight Grace burned with righteous ire as it met a pitchfork swung to meet the side of my head.
Insults upon insults. Not only did this man deem it appropriate to attack me without a riot in the backdrop, but he didn’t even have the heart to impale me!
A lazy and slovenly swing. The very image of a farmer chewing a sprig of wheat while batting insects from the leaves. Did he not know the fate of all those who failed to murder us at the first attempt? When it came to attacking royalty, the rules were clear!
One chance only! No practice rounds!
Thus, the hazy eyes of the farmer widened against the sight of Starlight Grace’s burning light.
“How–”
He mouthed a word of surprise. But there could be no complaints. Especially as every error made was a lesson. And the mistake of offering anything half-heartedly to royalty was the greatest he’ll ever learn. Whether it was their tears or their ire, I expected to ignore nothing but the best.
Sensing his peril, the drunkard twisted his pitchfork, seeking to catch my sword within the metal prongs. I opted to strike at the feeble wooden shaft instead.
Indeed, a pitchfork was no weapon of war!
It was a farming tool. And against the ruthless edge of my sword, it could do nothing but shatter the moment my sword … hmmmmm?
I blinked.
As expected, Starlight Grace burned bright in my hand as it struck the wooden shaft.
Less expected, however, was the lack of any splintering.
Instead of two pieces of a broken pitchfork dropping to the ground, I was met by the feeling of a thousand condensed pillows where the sword had struck … followed by the sight of ripples.
The wooden shaft shook like a tiny pond barely reacting to the skimming of a falling leaf.
And then–
Tendrils of smoke began to creep from it, twisting as it clawed at my sword’s blade.
I removed Starlight Grace at once, horrified by the sight.
How … How dare this man!
Nothing was allowed to touch my sword! Not even when I stabbed it!
Paying no heed to my distaste, the side of those prongs went to make a bump upon my delicate head. A clumsy challenge matching his proficiency. Unable to envisage himself as more than the untrained farmer he was, he allowed his dawdling sweep to pass over my ducking head.
But that did not make him undangerous.
With the grace of a brick, he wrenched his pitchfork overhead before crudely bringing it down. As I hopped away to shield my hair, the pitchfork swiped down with enough vigour to send a plume of dust around us. A moment later, he was several paces away, facing me with a poise filled with caution.
No longer assuming the stance of a farmer holding a pitchfork in anger for the first time, he narrowed his cloudy eyes, doing what he could to see through the haze.
The casual disregard vanished, replaced with his knees lowered and ready, his hands clutching the shaft much like a soldier guarding with a spear.
It wasn’t enough.
After all–
This man … had clearly been utterly duped!
I was aghast.
Why, not only did he manage to allow his soul to be slowly drained by a random devil … but he didn’t even gain any power from it!
Far from being empowered by the hells themselves, he was fighting like … yes, a farmer!
Even with my lack of training, I could tell he knew as much about fighting techniques as I did!
What did he hope to do by blithely swinging his pitchfork? Accidentally whack someone who knew what they were doing into his foes?
I despaired for the lost potential. To be sucked into some bizarre inner world clearly had some novelty value … but only if he used it correctly!
Why, if he learned how to shape the corridors of the Royal Villa, it’d be positively lovely!
Not for me, of course. But for those who didn’t have access to the real thing. I was certain commoners and nobility alike would pay even for a mock experience. We would earn the income without needing to clean after their soles.
The possibilities were endless!
“The young baroness never warned me you were a swordswoman,” he said, his eyes narrowed. “In fact, from the way she spoke about you, I figured you were just a regular princess.”
“There are no such things as regular princesses. We all have our talents. Mine happens to be all of them.”
The drunkard gave a smile.
It’d lost its lazy edge, instead becoming as hard as the grip around his pitchfork. The sudden seriousness and accompanying ignorance regarding his own strength only caused me to groan inside.
“Gotta admit. Wasn’t expecting this. Amidst all my travels, I never once heard about a Contzen being skilled for anything other than vileness.”
My mouth widened at the only attack he’d successfully struck.
“H-How dare you … ! What is this slander?! Who would dare speak ill of my family?! I … I will have them deported! Regardless of which country they’re in!”
“You’ll need to deport a lot of folk, then. All the streets, bars and alleys across the continent know the wickedness of royalty. Your family is no exception, I’m afraid. It’s said the halls of your castles are paved with the tears of those who serve you, such is their misery.”
I was horrified.
That … That was clearly a lie!
Why, if I could use the tears of my servants as paving material, this entire kingdom would be fully urbanised by now! That clearly wasn’t the case!
“I ask that you not listen to the deceit of those who envy my kingdom. Indeed, you need only listen to the sounds of joy coming from those who reside in it. Although I suppose that’s difficult while flailing a pitchfork like a feather duster. Is the reason you grow crops here and not outside because you’ve forgotten how to use it?”
The man chuckled. And for a moment, it seemed that a hint of genuine amusement managed to find its way back into his voice.
“I might not use it as intended, but I use it well. That you can strike back is impressive. I’ve downed foes wreathed in flames, the likes of which would never even enter your nightmares. And most of them fell before their claws were even raised.”
Oh, I had no doubt he had.
Wielding a pitchfork as he did, I expect even fiends from the abyss were easy to dispatch while laughing on the floor.
He would not receive such joviality from me.
Indeed … I recognised him for what he was. A truly devastating foe. Perhaps not to the majority of people with functional eyes. But certainly to a princess.
I had the most to lose.
Why, to be defeated by a wayward swing of a pitchfork was the most humiliating way to go! My ghost would be shunned by my family!
No, I could afford no complacency. Especially when even victory wouldn’t come without loss.
To have it noted that a drunkard with a pitchfork counted amongst my victories was appalling. Such an entry would be the thickest blot in a page already speckled with far too many lowly foes.
… Fortunately, I was more than a beautiful princess!
I was a beautiful princess with retainers!
And this meant … I could simply have Coppelia defeat him instead!
“Ohohoho …” I stood up straight, barely covering my lips as I smiled. “Is that so? Then allow me to repay the thought. I, too, am impressed.”
“I’ll take that as a fine compliment.”
“Don’t. I wasn’t referring to your skills with a pitchfork. But by your lack of awareness.”
The drunkard blinked at me.
Then, he swiftly changed his footing, turning to glance at the barn where he’d allowed his back to turn.
Ohhohoho! Too late!
Because behind him, my loyal handmaiden was already–
“This. Is. So. Amazing!”
Yes!
She was already watching from a gap in the barn door, not at all striking the man’s unprotected back!
To my grief, Coppelia was busy shaking the shoulders of the maid beside her, whose wide eyes were either derived from my handmaiden’s excitement or from her failure to rush to my assistance.
“Isn’t this great?! Look! We get threatened and now the princess is the one to protect us! It never happens this way! Doesn’t sitting back feel amazing?”
The drunkard closely studied the two retainers squeezed in the barn doorway.
And then–
He completely turned away from them, his focus on me once more.
“O-Ohoho … oho … i-indeed, notice now the futility of your actions! Why, despite there now being two of them, none of my retinue feels the need to immediately throw themselves at you as a distrac–”
Suddenly, the drunkard threw his pitchfork.
My horror was complete.
Leaving any semblance of civility to die a swift and ignominious death, he offered no warning before sending his farming instrument towards me.
It was all I could do to judge each muddy prong with the wide eyes it deserved as the thing swept past the side of my face. There was no bump awaiting the end of that throw. Only a hole as large as the crater which promptly appeared behind me, sending a small explosion of corn and soil into the sky.
My mouth widened in disbelief.
“E-Excuse me?! What was that?! You do not attack me in the middle of my sentences! That … That is a cardinal sin!”
The drunkard paused for a moment, his body still in the completed motion of a throw.
“Yeah, sorry about that.”
“As … As you very well should be! I do not meticulously comb my hair in the small hours of the night while kept up by the sounds of dancing mice just so that my only joy is destroyed by a drunkard’s lack of chivalry! How dare you! That throw was clearly meant to murder me! … Do you not have orders to capture me like the princess I am?!”
“Sure I do. But you’re not a princess waiting to be captured. Least not while you’re still standing.”
The drunkard leaned over the cart beside him, before promptly retrieving his next weapon.
It was … a shovel.
“No,” I declared at once. “Absolutely no.”
He held the shovel much like he held the pitchfork–without any intention of using it to farm.
I was aghast.
Was I truly supposed to defeat a farmer with a shovel?!
“If it makes you feel better, I rate myself more with a shovel than a pitchfork.”
“Wonderful. Then I suggest you impress me by digging an exit. That is a farming tool, not a weapon. I expressly forbid you from throwing it, utilising it as a spear or otherwise adopting it for any purpose other than its intended function.”
The man offered a shrug.
“You asked for it.”
He slightly raised the shovel … before striking it into the soil.
For a moment, nothing happened.
And then–
Crack.
A fracture appeared in the shape of a lightning bolt.
It lasted just as long.
Crraaaaaaccccccck.
All of a sudden, the very ground broke.
A groan filled the stale air. The weeping of a broken soul as a thin layer of dirt and weeds abruptly gave way to swaths of endless void where neither light nor warmth could reach … including beneath the feet of a stunned princess.
A chasm began to open like a leviathan’s maw to swallow me whole.
Why … I was delighted!
So this man could alter his little dream world, after all!
How wonderful!
This alone increased his worth significantly over every other farmer to have inadvertently signed away his soul to an infernal contract!
If he could split the ground asunder, then I saw no reason why he couldn’t also remove all of it as well!
Naturally, interior redecoration was never a fast process. Especially so given that the ground was only parting at the pace of two divorcing snails. But I was patient … and so was everyone who would shortly be visiting a purpose designed version of the Royal Villa where no matter where the dignitaries vomited, the carpets would always remain clean!
Indeed, there was much to consider. Ticket prices being one of them. But also skipping away from the hole opening up beneath me.
“Apologies for this,” said the drunkard as he leaped towards me, shovel outstretched. “But trust me, this will hurt me more than–”
“[Spring Breeze].”
Poomph.
Faced with the man’s nauseous breath, I sent a delicate puff of wind directly into his face, propelling both him and myself away. A moment later, I ended up skipping as my feet landed amidst the waist-high corn, performing a perfect hopscotch as I came to a stop.
Somewhere, I heard the sound of applause.
Just as pertinently, I heard the gasping of a drunkard who’d experienced the odour of his own breath sent back towards him. He’d landed far less neatly. Sitting up from the ground, he wore an expression of shock as he peered over the chasm which had failed to consume me.
He gingerly touched his stubble. And then he gulped.
“You … You shouldn’t have been able to do that,” he said, his disbelief carrying clearly over the gap. “That technique … everything, everything should be limited here …”
I gave a flick of my hair, indulging in the cheering of my watching retainers. Yes, even if it was just Coppelia. I hoped Renise was learning.
“Hm? And why is that, exactly?”
“Girl … this is my soul. You should have no power here. My [Soulscape] does more than empower me. It enfeebles all who I draw into it. This … This isn’t right.”
In response, I offered the most cursory of smiles.
“Oh? … Is that what you think?”
“What?”
“What meaning does your soul have to me? It doesn’t matter how deep into the depths of your, frankly, subpar quasi-plane of existence you invite me. Nor does it matter how high you cloud its edges. I still sense my kingdom all around me, just as I do a countryside farmstead overtaken by a baroness soon to repair it with her own hands. And here in my kingdom, I do not recognise any jurisdiction other than my own. My authority is absolute.”
The man blinked at me, as though wishing the haze away.
He could have been wearing a blindfold. I had little doubt he could see the natural radiance from my silhouette as clearly as I could the beads of sweat rolling past his brow.
Slowly, the man rose to his feet.
The shovel he left alone, discarded by his side. And then he did something I could not have expected.
“Heh …”
He laughed.
“Hah … hahah …”
A hollow laugh devoid of feeling. Like something expelled by instinct. A spasming of the diaphragm.
But a laugh nonetheless.
“My instincts were right,” he said, his lazy smile returning with abandon. “You … You’re dangerous. You might just be able to defeat me. Even here.”
Suddenly, he took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. The wrinkles on his forehead quivered with the force of putting his mind to work on something while hindered by a cloud of drunkenness.
A moment later–
Fwoooof.
He decided to meet my earlier request.
Breaking out into a heavy sweat, he raised his palms as a … yes, an ominous dark orb of ultimate power appeared between them, burning darker than a thousand blackened hearthfires squeezed together.
“Not wholly sure if this is right,” he said, his eyes wincing even as he opened them again. “But just for you, I’ll do this. May as well take this seriously. A big part of me hopes you defeat me. But I don’t think you can, even if you struck me with that sword again and again. Whatever you might think, this is more than my soul. This is my battlefield. And only I choose when I fall.”
I blinked.
The orb shuddered as it grew, licking its surroundings with lashes of undiluted power.
Despite its black colouring, it was the most beautiful thing here. A spot of imagination in a world of faded bleakness.
And so–I nodded in satisfaction.
Naturally, I doubted its effects. I trusted more in the lethality of his farming tools than whatever he thought advanced magic was. But that didn’t matter.
After all, to outside appearances, it seemed very much like a spawn of destruction in his hands.
And that … was wonderful!
A drunkard with a pitchfork/shovel?
Beneath me.
But laughter followed by suspect orbs of doom?
Why, that was a megalomaniac at the height of his power!
Indeed … I could work with that!
My smile blossomed on my face. The only source of colour amidst a backdrop of monochrome memories.
But that could be changed.
“A shame you’ve prepared a truly dull battlefield, then,” I said, lifting Starlight Grace … but not towards my invigorated foe. “Let us amend that, shall we?”
“What?”
I offered an angelic smile.
And then I peered around myself. At a canvas without an easel. Most would deem it unsalvageable.
But most were not me.
Thus … I flicked at a nearby leaf with the tip of my sword.
It twisted. A swirl of watercolour which sought to return to its dull shape. I didn’t allow it.
Instead, I flicked at it again.
And again. And again. And again.
“Your soul may be wounded,” I said, idly taking a few steps into the field. “But no more than mine at the sight of such amateurism. So rejoice. I shall reward your first steps into the world of creativity with a reference to take with you long into the future.”
A moment later, I allowed my sword to sweep around me … just as I would if I were in the corner of my atelier, surrounded by a dozen palettes and a thousand more possibilities.
And then–
I began to paint.
“May you use it in your days of bleakness, when inspiration is as dry as the schemes of my kingdom’s nobility. By the palette's grace, let shadows and light be cast into permanence. Painting Form, 5th Stance … [Revision Reverie]!”
My arm brushed aside entire swathes of colours.
I pirouetted upon my heels, the sword in my hand twirling as much like a brush in my hand as it was a baton held by a conductor.
All the colours followed like ribbons in my wake, forming a palette in every direction.
A shade of leafy green here. A blot of barren soil there. A touch of a pale sky hanging overhead.
And then–
I swept around … and around … and around …
Trails of different shades merged as I spun, dancing from spot to spot as I directed the colours to my heart’s desire … until the very landscape of a broken soul began to change.
“Ohhohohhhohoohoohohohooohoho!!”
Here it was!
Nurtured through Father’s insufferability when he refused to burn or throw away all my works I deemed below standard, here were the results of my labour!
[Revision Reverie]!
The ability to repair any work, no matter how much I wished to do otherwise!
For when the alternative was to have a bad piece forever kept upon the walls to be ruthlessly judged, to make it serviceable before the eyes of high society was a matter of life and death!
A field of faded colours and lack of detail?
Pedestrian.
Because if I could fix a wobbly chin … then I could fix anything!
“Ohhohohohoohohohooohohohhhoohohohohohoho!!”
Thus–I went to work!
Shrubs rose from the dull grass, teeming with matched couplets of yellow lilies and white gardenias!
Barren soil lifted to become the warming trunks of deciduous trees!
Dashes of pale colour flourished to become a spring blue dotted with clouds as fluffy as the coats of jumping lambs!
I danced without pause, willing the entire world to change around me, until what was an endless expanse of lifeless crops became a garden filled with movement, and a uniform backdrop of faded colours became sharp and distinct, brimming with motion and vigour.
But I didn’t stop there.
With a smile in search of perfection, I gracefully skipped towards the barn, life and song trailing behind me as nightingales in my wake.
And there, I used its red to its fullest.
Peonies growing as bouquets amidst the fresh grass.
Ladybugs fluttering against snow white petals.
Red currants dotting the hedges.
And … the pièce de résistance …
Apples for the trees!
I took in a deep breath as I finally ceased, the last swirl of paint dribbling into a bundle of carnations.
And then–I nodded.
It wasn’t my orchard, of course. But it was certainly a garden. And by my design was grander than any which could be found under the sun, real or otherwise.
“Ah … ah … ahhh …”
I turned around.
There, fallen upon the ground, was a drunkard on his knees.
The haze had cleared from his eyes.
Suddenly, they were bright and blue, boasting memories as vivid as the garden now blooming around him. Gone were the lines of self-reproach on his face. The dirt caked into his skin fell as tears washed them away, and what remained was a man in the prime of his life.
Not a single blemish could be seen.
“Ohohohoho … welcome to my garden,” I said, gesturing as I spun around, my bright smile the light to lift the colours even more anew. “Would you like a brief tour?”
The man looked up at me.
And then he blinked, his eyes taking me in for the very first time.
“That’s … fine … I think … I think I can see everything … from here …”
He let out a youthful smile, devoid of the mistakes of the past.
The next moment–
A white light filled my eyes.
Even then, the apples from the trees continued to brightly shine … all the way until they were replaced by a sweeter sight instead.
A baroness peering at me in utter shock, sitting across from me at a tea table.
“Aahhahahahhahahahaaahhahahahahahaaaha~”
And also Coppelia rolling on the hard, muddy ground in raucous laughter, smacking the ground as she did so.
Yes, that I could do without.
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Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
Chapter 237: A Reverie For The Soul
Words failed me.
As a princess, pitchforks symbolised the weapon of the peasantry.
They were instruments more lethal than any blade or knife in the dark. For they represented the final curtain. The ending act of my kingdom, lifted as the banner and weapon of revolt amidst a fanfare of blood and flames.
As great as the shadows cast by the lances of our enemies, none were as black a void as ordinary tools cast by a mob rallying to the cry of revolution.
That’s why–
As I watched a literal farmer bend his knees, not to reach the ground in prostration, but to leap towards me like a warrior with a trident, all I could do was tremble with horror.
It was the most gruesome of sights.
Neither a battlefield strewn with the corpses of the deceased, nor a tarte aux pommes baked without a generous layer of pecan nuts could instil in me the trepidation I felt, touching my very bones.
Indeed … to be attacked by a farmer with a pitchfork was one thing, but to be attacked by only a single one was an utter humiliation!
In all my darkest dreams, no sight of my family’s throne being emptied involved anything less than the entire populace of my kingdom’s peasantry rising against us!
And yet … all I saw before me was a single dishevelled farmer, wielding a pitchfork blunted by soil, barely fit to ward away the foxes which trespassed upon his land!
Where was the raucous shouting?
The complaints heard high into the heavens?
The frenzied bloodlust of an uncontrollable crowd?
There was no legion of witnesses to my end! No loyalists turning away in fright! No servants stealing away with the last of our ornamental cutlery!
This! This was a disgrace!
I was Juliette Contzen, 3rd Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea … and I refused to contemplate being struck by anything less than an entire mob!
That’s why–
“Absolutely not!!”
Starlight Grace burned with righteous ire as it met a pitchfork swung to meet the side of my head.
Insults upon insults. Not only did this man deem it appropriate to attack me without a riot in the backdrop, but he didn’t even have the heart to impale me!
A lazy and slovenly swing. The very image of a farmer chewing a sprig of wheat while batting insects from the leaves. Did he not know the fate of all those who failed to murder us at the first attempt? When it came to attacking royalty, the rules were clear!
One chance only! No practice rounds!
Thus, the hazy eyes of the farmer widened against the sight of Starlight Grace’s burning light.
“How–”
He mouthed a word of surprise. But there could be no complaints. Especially as every error made was a lesson. And the mistake of offering anything half-heartedly to royalty was the greatest he’ll ever learn. Whether it was their tears or their ire, I expected to ignore nothing but the best.
Sensing his peril, the drunkard twisted his pitchfork, seeking to catch my sword within the metal prongs. I opted to strike at the feeble wooden shaft instead.
Indeed, a pitchfork was no weapon of war!
It was a farming tool. And against the ruthless edge of my sword, it could do nothing but shatter the moment my sword … hmmmmm?
I blinked.
As expected, Starlight Grace burned bright in my hand as it struck the wooden shaft.
Less expected, however, was the lack of any splintering.
Instead of two pieces of a broken pitchfork dropping to the ground, I was met by the feeling of a thousand condensed pillows where the sword had struck … followed by the sight of ripples.
The wooden shaft shook like a tiny pond barely reacting to the skimming of a falling leaf.
And then–
Tendrils of smoke began to creep from it, twisting as it clawed at my sword’s blade.
I removed Starlight Grace at once, horrified by the sight.
How … How dare this man!
Nothing was allowed to touch my sword! Not even when I stabbed it!
Paying no heed to my distaste, the side of those prongs went to make a bump upon my delicate head. A clumsy challenge matching his proficiency. Unable to envisage himself as more than the untrained farmer he was, he allowed his dawdling sweep to pass over my ducking head.
But that did not make him undangerous.
With the grace of a brick, he wrenched his pitchfork overhead before crudely bringing it down. As I hopped away to shield my hair, the pitchfork swiped down with enough vigour to send a plume of dust around us. A moment later, he was several paces away, facing me with a poise filled with caution.
No longer assuming the stance of a farmer holding a pitchfork in anger for the first time, he narrowed his cloudy eyes, doing what he could to see through the haze.
The casual disregard vanished, replaced with his knees lowered and ready, his hands clutching the shaft much like a soldier guarding with a spear.
It wasn’t enough.
After all–
This man … had clearly been utterly duped!
I was aghast.
Why, not only did he manage to allow his soul to be slowly drained by a random devil … but he didn’t even gain any power from it!
Far from being empowered by the hells themselves, he was fighting like … yes, a farmer!
Even with my lack of training, I could tell he knew as much about fighting techniques as I did!
What did he hope to do by blithely swinging his pitchfork? Accidentally whack someone who knew what they were doing into his foes?
I despaired for the lost potential. To be sucked into some bizarre inner world clearly had some novelty value … but only if he used it correctly!
Why, if he learned how to shape the corridors of the Royal Villa, it’d be positively lovely!
Not for me, of course. But for those who didn’t have access to the real thing. I was certain commoners and nobility alike would pay even for a mock experience. We would earn the income without needing to clean after their soles.
The possibilities were endless!
“The young baroness never warned me you were a swordswoman,” he said, his eyes narrowed. “In fact, from the way she spoke about you, I figured you were just a regular princess.”
“There are no such things as regular princesses. We all have our talents. Mine happens to be all of them.”
The drunkard gave a smile.
It’d lost its lazy edge, instead becoming as hard as the grip around his pitchfork. The sudden seriousness and accompanying ignorance regarding his own strength only caused me to groan inside.
“Gotta admit. Wasn’t expecting this. Amidst all my travels, I never once heard about a Contzen being skilled for anything other than vileness.”
My mouth widened at the only attack he’d successfully struck.
“H-How dare you … ! What is this slander?! Who would dare speak ill of my family?! I … I will have them deported! Regardless of which country they’re in!”
“You’ll need to deport a lot of folk, then. All the streets, bars and alleys across the continent know the wickedness of royalty. Your family is no exception, I’m afraid. It’s said the halls of your castles are paved with the tears of those who serve you, such is their misery.”
I was horrified.
That … That was clearly a lie!
Why, if I could use the tears of my servants as paving material, this entire kingdom would be fully urbanised by now! That clearly wasn’t the case!
“I ask that you not listen to the deceit of those who envy my kingdom. Indeed, you need only listen to the sounds of joy coming from those who reside in it. Although I suppose that’s difficult while flailing a pitchfork like a feather duster. Is the reason you grow crops here and not outside because you’ve forgotten how to use it?”
The man chuckled. And for a moment, it seemed that a hint of genuine amusement managed to find its way back into his voice.
“I might not use it as intended, but I use it well. That you can strike back is impressive. I’ve downed foes wreathed in flames, the likes of which would never even enter your nightmares. And most of them fell before their claws were even raised.”
Oh, I had no doubt he had.
Wielding a pitchfork as he did, I expect even fiends from the abyss were easy to dispatch while laughing on the floor.
He would not receive such joviality from me.
Indeed … I recognised him for what he was. A truly devastating foe. Perhaps not to the majority of people with functional eyes. But certainly to a princess.
I had the most to lose.
Why, to be defeated by a wayward swing of a pitchfork was the most humiliating way to go! My ghost would be shunned by my family!
No, I could afford no complacency. Especially when even victory wouldn’t come without loss.
To have it noted that a drunkard with a pitchfork counted amongst my victories was appalling. Such an entry would be the thickest blot in a page already speckled with far too many lowly foes.
… Fortunately, I was more than a beautiful princess!
I was a beautiful princess with retainers!
And this meant … I could simply have Coppelia defeat him instead!
“Ohohoho …” I stood up straight, barely covering my lips as I smiled. “Is that so? Then allow me to repay the thought. I, too, am impressed.”
“I’ll take that as a fine compliment.”
“Don’t. I wasn’t referring to your skills with a pitchfork. But by your lack of awareness.”
The drunkard blinked at me.
Then, he swiftly changed his footing, turning to glance at the barn where he’d allowed his back to turn.
Ohhohoho! Too late!
Because behind him, my loyal handmaiden was already–
“This. Is. So. Amazing!”
Yes!
She was already watching from a gap in the barn door, not at all striking the man’s unprotected back!
To my grief, Coppelia was busy shaking the shoulders of the maid beside her, whose wide eyes were either derived from my handmaiden’s excitement or from her failure to rush to my assistance.
“Isn’t this great?! Look! We get threatened and now the princess is the one to protect us! It never happens this way! Doesn’t sitting back feel amazing?”
The drunkard closely studied the two retainers squeezed in the barn doorway.
And then–
He completely turned away from them, his focus on me once more.
“O-Ohoho … oho … i-indeed, notice now the futility of your actions! Why, despite there now being two of them, none of my retinue feels the need to immediately throw themselves at you as a distrac–”
Suddenly, the drunkard threw his pitchfork.
My horror was complete.
Leaving any semblance of civility to die a swift and ignominious death, he offered no warning before sending his farming instrument towards me.
It was all I could do to judge each muddy prong with the wide eyes it deserved as the thing swept past the side of my face. There was no bump awaiting the end of that throw. Only a hole as large as the crater which promptly appeared behind me, sending a small explosion of corn and soil into the sky.
My mouth widened in disbelief.
“E-Excuse me?! What was that?! You do not attack me in the middle of my sentences! That … That is a cardinal sin!”
The drunkard paused for a moment, his body still in the completed motion of a throw.
“Yeah, sorry about that.”
“As … As you very well should be! I do not meticulously comb my hair in the small hours of the night while kept up by the sounds of dancing mice just so that my only joy is destroyed by a drunkard’s lack of chivalry! How dare you! That throw was clearly meant to murder me! … Do you not have orders to capture me like the princess I am?!”
“Sure I do. But you’re not a princess waiting to be captured. Least not while you’re still standing.”
The drunkard leaned over the cart beside him, before promptly retrieving his next weapon.
It was … a shovel.
“No,” I declared at once. “Absolutely no.”
He held the shovel much like he held the pitchfork–without any intention of using it to farm.
I was aghast.
Was I truly supposed to defeat a farmer with a shovel?!
“If it makes you feel better, I rate myself more with a shovel than a pitchfork.”
“Wonderful. Then I suggest you impress me by digging an exit. That is a farming tool, not a weapon. I expressly forbid you from throwing it, utilising it as a spear or otherwise adopting it for any purpose other than its intended function.”
The man offered a shrug.
“You asked for it.”
He slightly raised the shovel … before striking it into the soil.
For a moment, nothing happened.
And then–
Crack.
A fracture appeared in the shape of a lightning bolt.
It lasted just as long.
Crraaaaaaccccccck.
All of a sudden, the very ground broke.
A groan filled the stale air. The weeping of a broken soul as a thin layer of dirt and weeds abruptly gave way to swaths of endless void where neither light nor warmth could reach … including beneath the feet of a stunned princess.
A chasm began to open like a leviathan’s maw to swallow me whole.
Why … I was delighted!
So this man could alter his little dream world, after all!
How wonderful!
This alone increased his worth significantly over every other farmer to have inadvertently signed away his soul to an infernal contract!
If he could split the ground asunder, then I saw no reason why he couldn’t also remove all of it as well!
Naturally, interior redecoration was never a fast process. Especially so given that the ground was only parting at the pace of two divorcing snails. But I was patient … and so was everyone who would shortly be visiting a purpose designed version of the Royal Villa where no matter where the dignitaries vomited, the carpets would always remain clean!
Indeed, there was much to consider. Ticket prices being one of them. But also skipping away from the hole opening up beneath me.
“Apologies for this,” said the drunkard as he leaped towards me, shovel outstretched. “But trust me, this will hurt me more than–”
“[Spring Breeze].”
Poomph.
Faced with the man’s nauseous breath, I sent a delicate puff of wind directly into his face, propelling both him and myself away. A moment later, I ended up skipping as my feet landed amidst the waist-high corn, performing a perfect hopscotch as I came to a stop.
Somewhere, I heard the sound of applause.
Just as pertinently, I heard the gasping of a drunkard who’d experienced the odour of his own breath sent back towards him. He’d landed far less neatly. Sitting up from the ground, he wore an expression of shock as he peered over the chasm which had failed to consume me.
He gingerly touched his stubble. And then he gulped.
“You … You shouldn’t have been able to do that,” he said, his disbelief carrying clearly over the gap. “That technique … everything, everything should be limited here …”
I gave a flick of my hair, indulging in the cheering of my watching retainers. Yes, even if it was just Coppelia. I hoped Renise was learning.
“Hm? And why is that, exactly?”
“Girl … this is my soul. You should have no power here. My [Soulscape] does more than empower me. It enfeebles all who I draw into it. This … This isn’t right.”
In response, I offered the most cursory of smiles.
“Oh? … Is that what you think?”
“What?”
“What meaning does your soul have to me? It doesn’t matter how deep into the depths of your, frankly, subpar quasi-plane of existence you invite me. Nor does it matter how high you cloud its edges. I still sense my kingdom all around me, just as I do a countryside farmstead overtaken by a baroness soon to repair it with her own hands. And here in my kingdom, I do not recognise any jurisdiction other than my own. My authority is absolute.”
The man blinked at me, as though wishing the haze away.
He could have been wearing a blindfold. I had little doubt he could see the natural radiance from my silhouette as clearly as I could the beads of sweat rolling past his brow.
Slowly, the man rose to his feet.
The shovel he left alone, discarded by his side. And then he did something I could not have expected.
“Heh …”
He laughed.
“Hah … hahah …”
A hollow laugh devoid of feeling. Like something expelled by instinct. A spasming of the diaphragm.
But a laugh nonetheless.
“My instincts were right,” he said, his lazy smile returning with abandon. “You … You’re dangerous. You might just be able to defeat me. Even here.”
Suddenly, he took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. The wrinkles on his forehead quivered with the force of putting his mind to work on something while hindered by a cloud of drunkenness.
A moment later–
Fwoooof.
He decided to meet my earlier request.
Breaking out into a heavy sweat, he raised his palms as a … yes, an ominous dark orb of ultimate power appeared between them, burning darker than a thousand blackened hearthfires squeezed together.
“Not wholly sure if this is right,” he said, his eyes wincing even as he opened them again. “But just for you, I’ll do this. May as well take this seriously. A big part of me hopes you defeat me. But I don’t think you can, even if you struck me with that sword again and again. Whatever you might think, this is more than my soul. This is my battlefield. And only I choose when I fall.”
I blinked.
The orb shuddered as it grew, licking its surroundings with lashes of undiluted power.
Despite its black colouring, it was the most beautiful thing here. A spot of imagination in a world of faded bleakness.
And so–I nodded in satisfaction.
Naturally, I doubted its effects. I trusted more in the lethality of his farming tools than whatever he thought advanced magic was. But that didn’t matter.
After all, to outside appearances, it seemed very much like a spawn of destruction in his hands.
And that … was wonderful!
A drunkard with a pitchfork/shovel?
Beneath me.
But laughter followed by suspect orbs of doom?
Why, that was a megalomaniac at the height of his power!
Indeed … I could work with that!
My smile blossomed on my face. The only source of colour amidst a backdrop of monochrome memories.
But that could be changed.
“A shame you’ve prepared a truly dull battlefield, then,” I said, lifting Starlight Grace … but not towards my invigorated foe. “Let us amend that, shall we?”
“What?”
I offered an angelic smile.
And then I peered around myself. At a canvas without an easel. Most would deem it unsalvageable.
But most were not me.
Thus … I flicked at a nearby leaf with the tip of my sword.
It twisted. A swirl of watercolour which sought to return to its dull shape. I didn’t allow it.
Instead, I flicked at it again.
And again. And again. And again.
“Your soul may be wounded,” I said, idly taking a few steps into the field. “But no more than mine at the sight of such amateurism. So rejoice. I shall reward your first steps into the world of creativity with a reference to take with you long into the future.”
A moment later, I allowed my sword to sweep around me … just as I would if I were in the corner of my atelier, surrounded by a dozen palettes and a thousand more possibilities.
And then–
I began to paint.
“May you use it in your days of bleakness, when inspiration is as dry as the schemes of my kingdom’s nobility. By the palette's grace, let shadows and light be cast into permanence. Painting Form, 5th Stance … [Revision Reverie]!”
My arm brushed aside entire swathes of colours.
I pirouetted upon my heels, the sword in my hand twirling as much like a brush in my hand as it was a baton held by a conductor.
All the colours followed like ribbons in my wake, forming a palette in every direction.
A shade of leafy green here. A blot of barren soil there. A touch of a pale sky hanging overhead.
And then–
I swept around … and around … and around …
Trails of different shades merged as I spun, dancing from spot to spot as I directed the colours to my heart’s desire … until the very landscape of a broken soul began to change.
“Ohhohohhhohoohoohohohooohoho!!”
Here it was!
Nurtured through Father’s insufferability when he refused to burn or throw away all my works I deemed below standard, here were the results of my labour!
[Revision Reverie]!
The ability to repair any work, no matter how much I wished to do otherwise!
For when the alternative was to have a bad piece forever kept upon the walls to be ruthlessly judged, to make it serviceable before the eyes of high society was a matter of life and death!
A field of faded colours and lack of detail?
Pedestrian.
Because if I could fix a wobbly chin … then I could fix anything!
“Ohhohohohoohohohooohohohhhoohohohohohoho!!”
Thus–I went to work!
Shrubs rose from the dull grass, teeming with matched couplets of yellow lilies and white gardenias!
Barren soil lifted to become the warming trunks of deciduous trees!
Dashes of pale colour flourished to become a spring blue dotted with clouds as fluffy as the coats of jumping lambs!
I danced without pause, willing the entire world to change around me, until what was an endless expanse of lifeless crops became a garden filled with movement, and a uniform backdrop of faded colours became sharp and distinct, brimming with motion and vigour.
But I didn’t stop there.
With a smile in search of perfection, I gracefully skipped towards the barn, life and song trailing behind me as nightingales in my wake.
And there, I used its red to its fullest.
Peonies growing as bouquets amidst the fresh grass.
Ladybugs fluttering against snow white petals.
Red currants dotting the hedges.
And … the pièce de résistance …
Apples for the trees!
I took in a deep breath as I finally ceased, the last swirl of paint dribbling into a bundle of carnations.
And then–I nodded.
It wasn’t my orchard, of course. But it was certainly a garden. And by my design was grander than any which could be found under the sun, real or otherwise.
“Ah … ah … ahhh …”
I turned around.
There, fallen upon the ground, was a drunkard on his knees.
The haze had cleared from his eyes.
Suddenly, they were bright and blue, boasting memories as vivid as the garden now blooming around him. Gone were the lines of self-reproach on his face. The dirt caked into his skin fell as tears washed them away, and what remained was a man in the prime of his life.
Not a single blemish could be seen.
“Ohohohoho … welcome to my garden,” I said, gesturing as I spun around, my bright smile the light to lift the colours even more anew. “Would you like a brief tour?”
The man looked up at me.
And then he blinked, his eyes taking me in for the very first time.
“That’s … fine … I think … I think I can see everything … from here …”
He let out a youthful smile, devoid of the mistakes of the past.
The next moment–
A white light filled my eyes.
Even then, the apples from the trees continued to brightly shine … all the way until they were replaced by a sweeter sight instead.
A baroness peering at me in utter shock, sitting across from me at a tea table.
“Aahhahahahhahahahaaahhahahahahahaaaha~”
And also Coppelia rolling on the hard, muddy ground in raucous laughter, smacking the ground as she did so.
Yes, that I could do without.
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