Lower left back pain cannot stand upright
anti ohio
2020.04.25 06:03 EthanSucc anti ohio
fuck ohio all my homies hate ohio
2021.10.22 17:45 LeFilthyHeretic What Was, Is, and Could Be
Hello everyone, this subreddit is dedicated to recording all of my short stories and writing prompts that I have written over the past few years. All stories posted here take place within the same universe, a fan-made 'verse drawing inspiration from a wide variety of sources.
2016.11.20 14:34 Our Right to Rule
#We're cleaning things up for the next week or so - we'll reinvite everyone again. Don't worry!
2024.05.14 19:08 Grand_Reanimation Chapter 8: Four Turns
 | https://preview.redd.it/xxzdgc26df0d1.png?width=564&format=png&auto=webp&s=f4621043cc7879c51a56a8bb0f02b66962860ca1 submitted by Grand_Reanimation to GoldenFeathers [link] [comments] Chapter 8: Four TurnsAbhi is shaken to the core, his walk gains a bit of tremble, he starts to breathe and sweat heavily, his eyes constantly trying to look back.“Am I being followed…” Abhi Gasped audibly. Abhi ignores the man on his trail for the time being, as it's entirely possible for the man to have the same travel route as Abhi, even though it is unlikely that someone had the same bus route as Abhi the man could still be going somewhere nearby and there just happens to be a small overlap. A few minutes passed, and even after a few more turns and minutes of walking, the man was still on Abhi’s trail. Abhi’s expression grew more and more anxious, he was looking back at the mysterious man more and more frequently as time passed. Abhi suddenly stopped, he noticed a city map plastered on the building. It covered all of Nixtom High City but the regions below or beyond the high city were left blurred or anonymous. While keeping a subtle look out for the follower Abhi used his finger to point at something on the map, he was pointing at the nearest police station which was a kilometer to the west. The mysterious man soon passed by Abhi but didn’t do anything. Abhi kept staring at the police station symbol on the map perhaps contemplating his decision to go there. He then looked around and saw a pendulum clock inside an antique shop. “7 minutes till 7 pm,” Abhi said to himself while observing the clock. Abhi started walking but didn’t follow the western path to the police station instead he went opposite, towards the east where his bus stop was. Abhi had just recently requested a change in his job timings because of his school, he changed his shift at his job from a full-time day job to a half-time evening job. This shift change was quite major as it essentially changed everyone Abhi worked with including his superiors. Getting a negative first impression on his first shift wasn’t just not ideal, but it would also lead to Abhi’s supervisors, managers, and other superiors making an example out of him via harsh punishment; therefore, it was essential for Abhi to reach his workplace on time. Taking detours such as visiting the police station in the opposite direction would involve the risk of not catching his second bus which only comes around every 30 minutes. Knowing all this, Abhi kept walking. There wasn't much to worry about as Abhi was already at the edge of High City so the bus station was nearby. As the mysterious man following Abhi had already passed by him and he wasn't too late for the bus, there was nothing to worry about. Abhi strolled freely humming an old rhyme. He was finally close enough to see the bus stand’s landmark a few towns apart. Abhi sighed in relief “I can finally reach the bus stand safely.” Suddenly he felt the same ominous present he had felt a few minutes ago, Abhi’s walk became more restricted his posture less confident and he slowly turned his head back without stopping his walk and immediately saw the same mysterious man in the well-designed suit right on his trail. Abhi started shivering in fear and anxiety, breaking cold sweat on a breezy evening. The sun was already almost submerged in the horizon, the atmosphere was dim and the street lights still weren't on. In the faint remnants of the absent sun’s light, Abhi kept walking while constantly looking back to observe his mysterious follower. Fortunately, he was finally close enough to see his bus stop directly, but before walking towards it, he suddenly stopped, Abhi kept staring at the ground as if he was drawing in deep thought. He subtly looked back and saw the same mysterious follower standing just a few meters behind, pretending to check the menu of a cafe. “No… I can’t go home; mom is home alone.” Abhi spoke to himself. Abhi seemed to have realized that if the mysterious follower kept following him even on his bus, then he might end up finding out where Abhi and his mom lived. No man will jeopardize his mother’s safety for his own sake or for work. Abhi was out of breath, shaking and sweating from the fear and anxiety of being followed, yet he stopped walking. He looked up, towards the dark crimson sky filled with blurry emerging stars, his gaze didn’t shake nor blink and soon enough the twinkling stars reflected in his eyes as a glimmer of hope. His breathing became calmer and his eyes colder. Suddenly he diverted from the straight path to the bus stop and instead took a left turn. Abhi started walking again only this time his steps didn’t echo fear but it resounded determination. A few steps later, Abhi looked down and murmured something to himself, and then he started to recite something far more clearly… almost in a robotic tone: “En Passant: Caution, Chapter 6: Stalkers, point 4: In case, you think you are being followed but cannot tell for sure, there is a method to verify your situation. Note your starting position then take four right or four left turns while walking. The idea behind this action is that whenever you turn the same way four times, you end up in the same place you started at. So in case you have a suspicion about someone following you, you can verify whether they just happen to have a similar route to yours or if they are in fact on your trail as no innocent person will circle back to the same spot with you”. Abhi had recited a passage from an informative book he had memorized. Following the book’s advice, he started by taking his first left turn. While walking, he looked back to observe the mysterious man who was still checking out the café’s menu. “Garlock Gobbler Gamers”. “What a weird name for a café” Abhi had noted the café as his starting point. While looking at the café he suddenly made eye contact with the mysterious follower. He quickly looked forward and started walking, he took another left turn and kept walking, this time he didn’t turn or look back at all as that might end up alerting the follower. He instead starts walking slightly faster and only looks ahead, he still tries to observe the follower by looking at mirrors and other sources of reflections to subtly check the areas out of his field of view. He takes his third left turn while still keeping an eye out for the follower through reflections and such. Abhi slightly slows down his pace as he doesn’t notice anyone on his trail. “Did I lose him? Or was he just coincidentally going to the same bus as me.” Abhi says to himself, then he walks with a bit less intensity. He takes his fourth and last left turn and uses this opportunity to check the entire street behind him, not seeing a single person in the entire street gives Abhi the last bit of assurance. Abhi walked towards the bus stop and saw the “Garlock Gobbler Gamers” sign in the distance. He walked a bit closer and realized that no one was outside the café. “I guess that man just happened to have the same bus route as me. I didn’t think anyone other than me had the same bus route, but guess I was wrong.” Abhi was finally free of worry and relaxed calmly walking towards his bus stop, soon past the café and kept walking. Suddenly a hand touched Abhi on his shoulder. “Oi! Kiddo what is you doin?”. Abhi slowly turned back in horror to see the same mysterious man appear out of nowhere while he held Abhi’s shoulder in his rough hand. Abhi shook the man’s hand off of him and jumped back a few steps. “What the fuck do you want!? Why have you been following me for so long?” Shouted Abhi while not taking his eyes off the man for even a second. “Yo Chill out cuh. I was just gonna ask you the same, why have you been following me?” Said the man while wearing an elegant suit. Abhi who looked a bit perplexed after seeing a man dressed in such formal attire talk in slang language and turn the ‘follower’ accusation back on him, replied: “What? I’m not following anyone you were the one constantly on my trail, also why would I follow you? Who the hell even are you?” The man looked and Abhi’s eyes and calmly replied: “Me? I’m the principal of your school homie.” ~……….~ |
2024.05.14 19:01 garrettwilson42 Feeling confused and defeated - My two years post MD, reherniation.
I’ll try to keep this short as I can, I’ve made several posts over the years. I’m just feeling defeated and confused.
I’m currently a 25(M), and had a microdiscectomy on L5-S1 for a 20mm+ herniation (I don’t remember the exact size) in June 2022. Prior to that I was extremely active, I played college water polo up through the December 2021 season. Swimming for cardio is something I’ve done all my life and want to continue, I hate running.
I have a hard time remembering what the pain was like back in February 2022, but it must have been pretty bad since I wasn’t able to exercise (I have a high pain tolerance).
Post surgery was fine, I started walking again, getting back to work and normal daily activities such as running errands. Starting PT after 6 weeks (July 2022) and that was a brutal process I was so stiff and tight. I’ve never been very flexible.
The following 6-7 months, I solely did PT, stretched, and walked every day. Got to where I’d go for 4-5 mile walks at a 16 min pace. In February 2023 I began lap swimming again, this time I didn’t do flip turns, decided I’d just do touch turns to not put my back in a flipping motion. I started very slow and just did about 20 laps/500 yards (which is nothing compared to what I would do in the past).
From February 2023 – June 2023 I just slowly eased into swimming, got back to swimming 2,500+ yards. I also began lifting again, doing light machines and light weights. Did weight training at my PT office to make sure I was doing things correctly.
June 2023 – December 2023 I did well, I was swimming and lifting 4-5x a week. I might have been overdoing it but I felt fine. I’d do 30+ mins of pt warm up and stretches before swimming to make sure I was warm, then would do some lifting after I swam. I was doing some free weight stuff (bad idea) and was swimming fast again. I felt good and I felt like I wanted to start training again to play competitive water polo again.
December 2023 – was doing some light 10lb RDLs that I’d learned at PT. Hadn’t done them in a while and wanted to change it up for my hamstrings. After one set I felt some pain and discomfort in my back, something I hadn’t felt in a while and knew something was wrong. I stopped Immediately.
Went to the Dr. and got another MRI. New MRI shows disc herniation of 6mm at L5-S1 significantly smaller than the original. My surgeon told me it wasn’t surgery worthy and that it wasn’t compressing my nerve, and I don’t have much pain so I agree. He said many people can live with them, and they don’t even know, but I need to listen to my body and modify etc.
January 2024 – Since then I went back to PT, tried to come up with a good game plan for safe forms of exercising. It was hard to accept, but I decided I’d stop trying to push playing competitive water polo again for health reasons. I started slow again, swimming 3 times a week very slow and building up laps every week. I now do light machines to keep myself tone, that’s all I need and am happy with.
March 2024 - I got back to swimming 4x a week at a slower pace, I can maintain good form but still get winded. And I’ve been lifting 4x a week, all somewhat light weight all on machines. My feet are grounded, and my back or chest is against padding for support. Still do PT warm up stuff ahead of time, and stretch and roll out my glutes, hamstrings, and hip flexors after.
April 2024 - I felt pretty good, just general stiffness when I wake up sometimes, and some days I get some achiness in my lower back and glut area but I accept that’s normal.
PT thinks my gluts and hip flexors are weak and my backs compensating for them. I guess I trusted them and agreed to do what thy said. But they started having me do back squats which made me nervous but felt fine. I started doing those several times a week. Then they had me start do incorporate hip trusts for my gluts, either with the barbell on my waist or using a machine at the gym. Then they wanted me to start doing weighted RDLs again and that’s where I drew the line. I was confused how if that’s how I hurt it in December then why would I do it again. They tell me I can do anything as long as I have good form, but I’d rather not risk it. They make it seem like I need to do them to strengthen my muscles and learn to load my spine again.
The surgeon told me no deadlifts and no hip thrusts. He said goblet squats are fine. It just made me not trust PT anymore. No matter what I tell them they tell me it’s normal and say I just need to get stronger. I felt like since doing some of the leg stuff I was getting stiffer and achier, so I wanted to get a second opinion
May 2024 – My dads good friend is a sports medicine professional, and he referred us to a good doctor he knows/went to school with in my area, he studied medicine at UCLA and works with sports and Olympic teams. I went to visit him to get some clarity on what exercises in the gym are safe for me to do and what to stay away from or maybe a new PT that he trusts. I was shocked when I went last week, he looked at my MRI results and said I have the herniation at L5-S1 and another 5mm herniation at L4-L5 that my surgeon didn’t even mention. The new doctor said I was having muscle atrophy from nerve compression and it could be serious and could need another surgery. He put me on a 6-day steroid pack and said if it relieves my symptoms then there would be some hope without needing another surgery. I have a call with him tomorrow to follow up on how I feel.
I’m confused. I don’t have bad symptoms. I’m stiff and my hamstrings are tight, but they loosen up during the day. I don’t really have any radiating pain down the leg. So, I can’t tell if the steroid even helped because there wasn’t much there to begin with. Over the last 6 days it hasn’t been as achy and tight when I get up in the morning, but honestly, just doing my daily activities such as going to work, walking around, etc. I don’t notice it at all. It’s just when I do certain movements like bend down, or twist a certain way, or lean backwards, then I feel some stiffness and pulling in my lower back and glut, but it doesn’t go down my leg it’s all centralized in my lower back. I don’t feel as achy and stiff so that’s good, but my QL and left glut still are a little achy when I think about it.
I’m just confused and frustrated. My surgeon told me in January there was no nerve compression and didn’t mention the second herniation. But then this new doctor makes it seem very severe and now I’m nervous. I’m frustrated that squat, hip thrusts, etc. have maybe been making things worse and I wonder If I need new imaging to see if they’ve gotten worse over the last 5 months. My dad’s friend who referred us to the new doctor also read my MRI report and said he would agree that if I don’t have that bad symptoms that my results wouldn’t suggest I need another surgery.
As I mentioned, up until a week ago I’ve been swimming 2,500 yards and doing some machine lifting 4x a week. And the symptoms aren’t bad, a little tight when I stretch and warm up, such as getting up off the ground after stretching I’m kind of stiff standing up straight again. Once I swim it loosens up and might get a little tight, but overall feels better after.
Just been a long two years since the surgery, and I don’t want another it was the most depressing thing I’ve ever gone through. All I want is to be able to swim some laps for cardio purposes (which I assume is safe) and then do some light machines at the gym to keep myself tone and have some muscle definition. But I want to know what machines are safe/what types of exercises to stay away from.
I know this is a long read. But any thoughts and Insight would be helpful. Thanks
submitted by garrettwilson42 to Sciatica [link] [comments]
I’m currently a 25(M), and had a microdiscectomy on L5-S1 for a 20mm+ herniation (I don’t remember the exact size) in June 2022. Prior to that I was extremely active, I played college water polo up through the December 2021 season. Swimming for cardio is something I’ve done all my life and want to continue, I hate running.
I have a hard time remembering what the pain was like back in February 2022, but it must have been pretty bad since I wasn’t able to exercise (I have a high pain tolerance).
Post surgery was fine, I started walking again, getting back to work and normal daily activities such as running errands. Starting PT after 6 weeks (July 2022) and that was a brutal process I was so stiff and tight. I’ve never been very flexible.
The following 6-7 months, I solely did PT, stretched, and walked every day. Got to where I’d go for 4-5 mile walks at a 16 min pace. In February 2023 I began lap swimming again, this time I didn’t do flip turns, decided I’d just do touch turns to not put my back in a flipping motion. I started very slow and just did about 20 laps/500 yards (which is nothing compared to what I would do in the past).
From February 2023 – June 2023 I just slowly eased into swimming, got back to swimming 2,500+ yards. I also began lifting again, doing light machines and light weights. Did weight training at my PT office to make sure I was doing things correctly.
June 2023 – December 2023 I did well, I was swimming and lifting 4-5x a week. I might have been overdoing it but I felt fine. I’d do 30+ mins of pt warm up and stretches before swimming to make sure I was warm, then would do some lifting after I swam. I was doing some free weight stuff (bad idea) and was swimming fast again. I felt good and I felt like I wanted to start training again to play competitive water polo again.
December 2023 – was doing some light 10lb RDLs that I’d learned at PT. Hadn’t done them in a while and wanted to change it up for my hamstrings. After one set I felt some pain and discomfort in my back, something I hadn’t felt in a while and knew something was wrong. I stopped Immediately.
Went to the Dr. and got another MRI. New MRI shows disc herniation of 6mm at L5-S1 significantly smaller than the original. My surgeon told me it wasn’t surgery worthy and that it wasn’t compressing my nerve, and I don’t have much pain so I agree. He said many people can live with them, and they don’t even know, but I need to listen to my body and modify etc.
January 2024 – Since then I went back to PT, tried to come up with a good game plan for safe forms of exercising. It was hard to accept, but I decided I’d stop trying to push playing competitive water polo again for health reasons. I started slow again, swimming 3 times a week very slow and building up laps every week. I now do light machines to keep myself tone, that’s all I need and am happy with.
March 2024 - I got back to swimming 4x a week at a slower pace, I can maintain good form but still get winded. And I’ve been lifting 4x a week, all somewhat light weight all on machines. My feet are grounded, and my back or chest is against padding for support. Still do PT warm up stuff ahead of time, and stretch and roll out my glutes, hamstrings, and hip flexors after.
April 2024 - I felt pretty good, just general stiffness when I wake up sometimes, and some days I get some achiness in my lower back and glut area but I accept that’s normal.
PT thinks my gluts and hip flexors are weak and my backs compensating for them. I guess I trusted them and agreed to do what thy said. But they started having me do back squats which made me nervous but felt fine. I started doing those several times a week. Then they had me start do incorporate hip trusts for my gluts, either with the barbell on my waist or using a machine at the gym. Then they wanted me to start doing weighted RDLs again and that’s where I drew the line. I was confused how if that’s how I hurt it in December then why would I do it again. They tell me I can do anything as long as I have good form, but I’d rather not risk it. They make it seem like I need to do them to strengthen my muscles and learn to load my spine again.
The surgeon told me no deadlifts and no hip thrusts. He said goblet squats are fine. It just made me not trust PT anymore. No matter what I tell them they tell me it’s normal and say I just need to get stronger. I felt like since doing some of the leg stuff I was getting stiffer and achier, so I wanted to get a second opinion
May 2024 – My dads good friend is a sports medicine professional, and he referred us to a good doctor he knows/went to school with in my area, he studied medicine at UCLA and works with sports and Olympic teams. I went to visit him to get some clarity on what exercises in the gym are safe for me to do and what to stay away from or maybe a new PT that he trusts. I was shocked when I went last week, he looked at my MRI results and said I have the herniation at L5-S1 and another 5mm herniation at L4-L5 that my surgeon didn’t even mention. The new doctor said I was having muscle atrophy from nerve compression and it could be serious and could need another surgery. He put me on a 6-day steroid pack and said if it relieves my symptoms then there would be some hope without needing another surgery. I have a call with him tomorrow to follow up on how I feel.
I’m confused. I don’t have bad symptoms. I’m stiff and my hamstrings are tight, but they loosen up during the day. I don’t really have any radiating pain down the leg. So, I can’t tell if the steroid even helped because there wasn’t much there to begin with. Over the last 6 days it hasn’t been as achy and tight when I get up in the morning, but honestly, just doing my daily activities such as going to work, walking around, etc. I don’t notice it at all. It’s just when I do certain movements like bend down, or twist a certain way, or lean backwards, then I feel some stiffness and pulling in my lower back and glut, but it doesn’t go down my leg it’s all centralized in my lower back. I don’t feel as achy and stiff so that’s good, but my QL and left glut still are a little achy when I think about it.
I’m just confused and frustrated. My surgeon told me in January there was no nerve compression and didn’t mention the second herniation. But then this new doctor makes it seem very severe and now I’m nervous. I’m frustrated that squat, hip thrusts, etc. have maybe been making things worse and I wonder If I need new imaging to see if they’ve gotten worse over the last 5 months. My dad’s friend who referred us to the new doctor also read my MRI report and said he would agree that if I don’t have that bad symptoms that my results wouldn’t suggest I need another surgery.
As I mentioned, up until a week ago I’ve been swimming 2,500 yards and doing some machine lifting 4x a week. And the symptoms aren’t bad, a little tight when I stretch and warm up, such as getting up off the ground after stretching I’m kind of stiff standing up straight again. Once I swim it loosens up and might get a little tight, but overall feels better after.
Just been a long two years since the surgery, and I don’t want another it was the most depressing thing I’ve ever gone through. All I want is to be able to swim some laps for cardio purposes (which I assume is safe) and then do some light machines at the gym to keep myself tone and have some muscle definition. But I want to know what machines are safe/what types of exercises to stay away from.
I know this is a long read. But any thoughts and Insight would be helpful. Thanks
2024.05.14 19:00 Big-Guidance8151 Everything that rises must be analyzed
Disclaimer:
This post has heavy spoilers to the story of the version 2.2 and maybe to something else. Good luck to read all of this. I yap for Ena and maybe repeat myself little too much. Mentioned characters:
Sunday
Robin
Aventurine
Dreammaster
Bronya
Seele
Cocolia
Mentioned Aeons:
Ena
Xipe
Hooh
Long
Oroboros
Qlipoth
Mentioned organisations:
Beyond the Sky Choir
Astral Express
Family
In loving memory: Ena the Order “The one who transcends the many”
In loving memory of Tazzyrronth the Propagation “The Sand king”
In loving memory of the Great Tatalov “The Garbage King”
So, the original intent behind this post was to create a lot of puns about Order and Sunday (for example something like Golden Order Radagon Sunday, “I will have order” with Sunday and a falling train instead, Sunday working in a delivery and saying that someone’s order was cancelled).
But then I started remembering all parts of Penacony storyline that have fascinated me. And one particular part master stroked me. When Sunday used his “tell the truth or die in 24 hours voice magic” he used not the power of Order, but Harmony – the Path he supposedly deliberately left behind and betrayed.
How can I be so sure, that he didn’t use the power of Order, making it look like the power of Harmony? Well, nor Dr. Ratio, nor Aventurine, nor Welt, nor (most importantly) Robin didn’t notice any sign that the Order was used and that the power on display did in fact belong to Harmony. And mind you, all of them are quite clever, experienced and hard to deceive. And in Aventurine’s conversation with Acheron in the Horizon of existence, Acheron (who as Self-Annihilator isn’t affected by the illusions of Order and can see through them) referred to the brand, used on Aventurine as the “brand of Harmony”. And the last proof is that when Sunday uses this power, he makes a call (or if you are a pun enjoyer like me, “an order”) to Xipe, referring to THEM as “Triple-faced soul”.
So, this was a really long and a roundabout way to prove that even with his supposed devotion to Order, Sunday still remains the Pathstrider of Harmony (and the laws of the HSR universe dictate, that you become a Pathstrider by following a philosophy of a particular Path). While being a Pathstrider of two Paths is not called impossible in the game, and Harmony and Order mostly overlap, there are some key differences between them. It means, that Sunday to some extant still believes in a philosophy of Harmony and is not a complete devotee of Order, how some people could have believed.
So, the goal of this post is to delve on the philosophy of Ena and Harmony through Sunday’s story, words, thoughts and actions. And to make some obnoxious theories, but that’s later.
So, let’s begin!
Ⅰ
In his childhood, Sunday alongside Robin, was called by the Dreammaster “two best interpreters of the Great One”. That means, that as a child, Sunday was extremely close to the philosophy of Harmony.
Let’s remember what Harmony embodies as a philosophy:
“Then, they say, O you who have reached the end, enter into the paradise that envelops all! Join this great choir and feast, listen to the beating of billions upon billions of hearts, holding you in THEIR embrace...”
“To battle the brutality of the laws of the universe, intelligent lifeforms must discard their cowardly selfishness and the differences between individuals, fusing into one singular melody — to have the strong help the weak, and to protect life with death.”
That is what Harmony preaches and Sunday was a follower of this ideology. Harmony preaches selfless people not only helping and uplifting each other to build “the paradise” (a prominent theme in Sunday’s thoughts) bit also welcoming every other willing person. Harmony philosophy is about acceptance, forgiveness, cooperation, that no person is beyond redemption, that in every person has inside of them the force that genuinely cares for others and strives for good. Harmony preaches something like this: “Because if it is possible for every person to become a member of Family’s shared paradise, then we should at lest try to welcome them in it.” That’s why Harmonic Strings (Emanators of Xipe) are not people and are actually manifestations materialized as the responses to the Hive Mind’s demands. It is a seemingly naïve and romantic ideal for the sometimes and indifferent brutal universe of HSR that requires great kindness, compassion, understanding, belief in other people, ability to see the better in other people and uplift them. And Sunday-follower of Order reflects on that:
"When I appeared as a child, my speech, mindset, and soul reflected immaturity and innocence."
"As I grew into adulthood, I left behind my childlike side."
Sunday (as shown in the quest) was a person of great understanding, compassion, and love for other living beings, full of desire to protect them (bird, Robin, other people). He was able to embrace even the worst people if they would show even the slightest glimpse of desire to redeem themselves and change for the better, like people who allegedly sold their own children. It is notable that he both acts as a follower of Harmony and an enforcer of Order conspiracy because of these very character traits. The motivation is the same, just the choice how to act based on this motivation is different between him and Robin because of different experiences.
As the ardent believer of Harmony, the seed of doubt in his mind was planted ironically by the very followers of the Harmony -the Family. And the disillusionment about Harmony also began, when his belief in other people was tested. When asking Xipe to clear his doubts, Sunday asks three questions:
“Who can judge the strong when their power hides their crimes?”
“Who can vouch for the weak when they will pay any price to survive?”
“If "the strong defending the weak" is truly the foundation of paradise, then who is responsible for the suffering and anguish in this wretched world?”
The questions display that the preached Harmony doesn’t work as intended. The extremely hard ideal to follow was exactly too demanding for numerous people who couldn’t stand up to the responsibility that came with upholding it. Also, as displayed both in the main quest of Penacony and in numerous events and side quests, flaws and imperfections of Family(note: of the Family on Penacony) are numerous. We have an entire “Ode to Fool” in the Grand Theatre about internal bloodthirsty war between the Family, where two of the seven families of Penacony ceased to exist. When even Family: those who preach the Odes of Harmony don’t act as they preach, are not harmonious, don’t show compassion and forgiveness, it is extremely hard to still believe in its teachings. And from that, the belief in people starts to slowly crumble as the very belief in a possibility of a paradise preached by the Xipe, is tested.
That is what turns him to Order. The feeling that while the paradise of Harmony is theoretically possible, how much suffering must people experience before it actually arrives. And when will it arrive? And IF it will arrive? These doubts in human inherent desire to change for the better leads to the idea: “And what if they don’t change? Then why take the risks? Why not to create something that guarantees their safety, happiness and protection?” His desire for Order is still born from his love for humanity.
Ⅱ
And while the shift in beliefs did in fact happen, it wasn’t completed and some beliefs in Harmony remain, alongside doubts about the philosophy of Order.
To prove that, let’s remember the Grand Theatre part of the quest (“Everything that Rises Must Converge”).
Before that Dreammaster has a particularly interesting conversation with Sunday. Sunday not only changes their plan, taking Robin’s place in the plan and then he asks Dreammaster why Penacony was the chosen planet to bring “paradise” of the Order. If he was completely convinced, why would he pose these questions?
Sunday several times brings the part of 107,336 souls of the Oak Family in his monologues. Why? Because he uses them to give self-validation to his beliefs. It comes not only from his desire to grant “paradise” to everyone (and this guys as stated dreamed about the paradise of Order), but also from his self-perceived responsibility as the Head of the Oak Family to stand up to wishes and desires of his subordinates, to protect them, and as the man with greatest position among them, to fulfil the hardest task. Because if people he is in charge of follow and support his views, not only it gives him more belief in his set of beliefs(ha), but also gives him even greater responsibility to prove that their faith in him, in Order is not misplaced.
In first two acts he displays before us shortcomings of the Harmony, trying to display himself as the ardent believer of the Order:
In the first act “Ode to Prisoner” he says that the freedom was not really achieved in Penacony’s great Independence War, posing a doubt that the ideal of Harmony even existed in Penacony since the very beginning.
In the second act “Ode to Fool” the theme of not so harmonic Harmony remains. Sunday talks about internal civil war between the Family, that eradicated two of the seven families on Penacony. How “harmonic” it is!
But in the last and most important act “Ode to Order” has a surprisingly different theme, hidden in it.
It is supposedly talking about the future of Penacony, but there is something more if you listen to its content once again:
General: “Without a ruler who would protect the weak and fight back against the tyrants?”
Chansellor: “We must assist each other in protecting the weak, just as we must assist each other in opposing the tyrannical.”
This dialogue argues that the very measures Sunday preaches, are not required for the coexistence and unification are also an option. Case of how differently Order and Harmony solve one problem.
Jester: “Without a ruler, who will make the stars follow their paths, the tides rise and fall, and allow life to grow?”
C: “These things did as they will long before the ruler appeared, just as they will continue to do with rulers gone.”
Where the Order requires an all-mighty divine king, controlling the world (like God-Emperor of Mankind from Warhammer), Harmony simply says that actually such beings are not needed.
Minister: “However, now that we have bid farewell to our ruler. Who shall take their place?”
C: “We no longer require a ruler, for we were originally all rulers who stand above all things.”
Once again, order preaches about the ruler on the top of everything, the one who has all of the rights and makes all of decisions. But harmony doesn’t work that way. Harmony preaches that if every person has equal rights to enter its paradise, then they are essentially equal. Where Order differentiates people and treats them differently according to THEIR criteria, harmony does not as THEY are all-embracing.
The choice of the position of Chansellor as the one giving answers is deliberate. It is another innuendo on differences between Harmony and Order. In Order king takes the power and pushes everyone under his control. Chancellor, as the representation of Harmony in this argument, is a position not a person. He is subject to change, unlike king. Unlike king, Chancellor is chosen among the people, by the people. He serves as one man being the voice of many people, for they have chosen him as a Chancellor because their ideals are the same and thus, they have entrusted him to fulfil their ideals in reality in their stead.
Some people were not satisfied that the arguments were not posed against Sunday by the Astral Express. Well, this entire act serves as a counter to his arguments, showing the point of view of Harmony arguing against the necessity of ideals of Order. Most importantly, they don’t disprove hid arguments completely, but rather pose a possible alternative take on things.
The Clockwork doesn’t work on puppets because they are “satisfied”. But what gives satisfaction: Order or Harmony? In my opinion, Harmony. Remember: in THEIR paradise there is “peace bestowed, sorrows and strife released.”
The “king” in the text obviously refers to Ena the Order, and the last talk from the “Future” in the act is about “final rites” to the king, that there is no need to seek THEIR existence, nor remember THEM. It illustrates the final confusion of Sunday: if Ena didn’t fight back while being consumed, if the philosophy of Harmony prevailed in the confrontation among the Paths, why try to restore the Order?
And after that particular act he chose to reveal to us the finale of Ena’s story. That THEY were banished to oblivion by the united will of the people who defied Order. And THEIR death was praised alongside praises for the appearance of Harmony – the ideal that prevailed on Penacony in the end.
And that is what actually 3 is actually about. Puppets(Members of the Beyond the Sky Choir) ask what they and everyone else should do after the “king(Ena)” disappeared.
They feel no safety and out of their comfort zone when the one that controlled everything about their lives suddenly disappeared. And Chancellor’s answers are the representation of the ideology of Harmony, that you don’t need to be controlled to strive in life, for that there is more to universe and that the “king” is not actually required for betterment of society, that society can harmonize and evolve on their own, that the unity of people can replace the “king”. Ironically, “the Ode to Order” doesn’t glorify Order but rather disproves it from being the one and only universal truth.
In this act Sunday actually reveals, intended or not, that he doesn’t disprove Harmony’s ideal, that he subconsciously feels that it can stand on par with the ideal of Order.
Then, Sunday poses between us three questions, each one has different answers depending on your set of believes: order or Harmony. Notice, that Sunday doesn’t give his own answers to the questions.
“Is darkness equal to daylight?”
This question is very metaphorical. Radiance and light, eradicating darkness and giving protection to those under the light are a repeated theme in the ideology of the Order (“I shall ascend to the heavens, becoming the scorching sun. Bathed in my light, my people shall flourish, while all evil shall be eradicated” / “Those who live in the shadows do not bear the right to tread the illuminated stage.” / “I now permit you to gaze into the sun [hardest line in the game btw]”) But radiance is also a term sometimes used to describe Xipe. The greatest difference lies in the fact that what Order will not tolerate (“darkness”), harmony will be able to co-exist with and eventually embrace. So for Order they are different, but for Harmony not at all.
“Are sinners equal to the righteous?”
Order punishes the unjust and uplifts the righteous. For it, they are not equal. But for Harmony they are, mostly because before Xipe the very concept of sinners doesn’t exist. Harmony is all-embracing, for everyone can change for the better and be redeemed.
It is a discourse in philosophy: first question was about whether are you able to tolerate something that goes against you. While Harmony can, Order cannot (Sunday can as literally shown in the quest so he leans more to Harmony in that part). Second question was about whether people can change for the better and be redeemed. Order doesn’t believe in it, Harmony does.
“If you are born weak, which god should you turn for solace?”
It is another question to choose between philosophies because Sunday struggles to choose himself. If you are weak and you bow before someone(“king”) for the protection then this is a choice befitting Order, but if you choose to cooperate with others, uplift one another and “listen beating of billions of hearts holding you on their embrace” then this is the choice of Harmony.
Notice, that Sunday doesn’t consider us as enemies at all. As he says: “I genuinely wish to avoid a violent clash with my esteemed guests from afar.” When Astral Express team asks Sunday why did he invite us to the duel, he responds: “Because our shared goals give equal weight to the beliefs we strive for.” He regards everything happening more like a debate of two equally valid philosophies. Even in the fight with him (second one) he still invites us to join his chorus of Order. And he says “our final talk is concluded” only when he turns into his Embryo of Philosophy form, when literally everyone who could has risen against him. And then he reveals his true emotions:
“If your ‘paradise’ can save more people, sever my path with your hands”
He knows he is not infallible, that his plan can be wrong, that there is a possibility of making better choices, better decisions. And he asks us to prove, that Harmony after all is a stronger concept then that of Order. And his quote before that really makes everything extremely ironic:
“If we had never experienced solitude, how could we embark on different paths?”
Once again, this solitude refers to the times when he still completely followed Harmony. Yet he was the only person on the entire Penacony because of his great compassion, who actually followed what Xipe preached. Yet, in this he was alone. How can you be in Harmony with anyone, if you are alone. The irony is in the fact, that if Robin didn’t leave Penacony, of if he met another genuine believer, he wouldn’t have turn to Order and he would remain under Xipe. With many similarities of Order and Harmony: the epitome of Order is loneliness, being a sole ruler of everything, the epitome of Harmony is a unity of numerous people.
“And thus, my talk about Sunday has concluded. Next part is about Ena.”
Ⅲ
While his monologue about history of Ena can also be interpreted as parts above, it is much more interesting to discuss it when talking about Ena THEMSELVES.
“Let us commence with the dawning of the world… After the Dusk Wars, darkness veiled the sky, and chaos consumed the earth. Ena the Order emerged, destined to restore all existence. That marked the first day.”
The Dusk Wars are one of the most ancient (if not the most) periods of history we know about. Ena emerging at that time, makes THEM one of the oldest Aeons alongside Long, Hooh, Qlipoth and Oroboros.
” THEY gathered nebulae and forged them into picks, thus creating a grand lyre with black and white keys. Strike the white keys, and the sun rose. Strike the black keys moon and the rose. And so the cycle of day and night arose. That marked the second day. “
“THEY transmuted streams of stars into inked nibs, creating symbols to be pronounced and counted. THEY molded stardust into flowing rivers, assigning the righteous upstream and the unjust downstream. Thus, all things were marked and the world learned to discern between good and evil. That marked the third and fourth days. “
“THEY used the planetary rings to establish the law, forging a code of conduct among the masses. A grand lyre with black and white symbols of articulation and numerical notation took the form of musical notes. The downward-flowing river became a melody, and the cannon of law dictated the form. Thus, all mortals found their unique place within this symphony. That marked the fifth and sixth days. “
Ena, as we know was a control freak, at much bigger scale and extent, then Sunday could have ever hoped to become. We know that «Ena's harmonic songs seems to align within a three-dimensional framework, akin to an emperor maintaining hierarchical order among all creatures» Not only people, but the movement of celestial bodies were under THEIR control. THEY wanted to and almost controlled everything in the known cosmos. So, THEY were the only person responsible for everything. And when THEY were consumed, the manager of everything disappeared and the scales of order and discord lost their balance. That is why Hooh intervened and took THEIR responsibilities.
“THEY imbued world with meaning, perfecting all things in the heavens and earth. Then, THEY rested from the labors of creation. Yet, all beings cried to Ena – ‘Under the banner of the Order, you have defined all things in the Cosmos… but this made us realize that we are but puppets in your hands!’ – Thus, on that day, all beings united and cast the Aeon into the abyss of oblivion. That marked the seventh day. “
And this is the most interesting part. We know that Ena was consumed by Xipe, so why does Sunday refer to THEIR death as an action, made by humans?
As we know, Xipe “hails from multiple harmonious celestial words”, “a plural Aeon” and “THEY are the amalgamation of thousands of entities”. Thus, I pose that Xipe ascension was not a process of accension of a one person who somehow become an Aeon, but rather that several beings in a moment of unity (of “harmony”) were ascending as one. Next bit is purely theoretical:
But who could provide such unity before the existence of Harmony? Only the Beyond the Sky Choir – followers of Ena could understand the true extent of Ena’s control over everything and unify to create a change. Thus, mortals ascended into Aeon, befitting their shared beliefs, and from the Beyond the Sky Choir, Xipe arose with a new symphony of Harmony.
ⅠⅤ
Also, some other interesting bits from 2.2. storyline:
The most overlooked part of 2.2 quest for me is that part before boss battle when Sunday says that he doesn’t intend to either resurrect Ena or become a new Aeon of Order. While the actual possibility of such actions remains “enigmatic, we can now speculate that it could be possible to take control of a masterless Path or revive its master. I speculate that when we finally reach strongest Emanators level of poweallies/etc. the enemies we will be facing before actual Aeons will be unique beings like that: fallen Aeons in the process of resurrection or people in the process of becoming a new Aeon of a Path without one.
Another interesting bit of lore about Ena is that while she was “consumed” by Xipe, her Path still lingers in the cosmos masterless. While it was known about Paths of other fallen Aeons it is interesting that even assimilation by a broader concept Aeon isn’t enough to completely eradicate the Path from the face of the cosmos.
Some other connections that I noticed about Sunday while rewatching 2.2 quest were surprising even for me. Name a planet where the ruler intentionally left their subordinates in ignorance about the truth about the events for the sole reason of protecting them? It’s Belobog with Bronya and Seele (I could talk about similarities and differences of Bronya and Sunday but that would make already long post even longer). And this is why Ena was able to persuade Qlipoth. Because Qlipoth shares with THEM that general theme of protection. Because their Paths partly overlap. Because Preservation is about keeping everything dangerous behind the walls (in this case dangerous information about Cocolia), and everything inside the walls is safe, protected, or you could say “in Order”.
Ⅴ
P.S. I feel like in this quest there is still so much more to discuss(and I could write EVEN MORE), but this long wall of text is already too out of character from me as a humble follower of Enigmata.
submitted by Big-Guidance8151 to HonkaiStarRail [link] [comments]
This post has heavy spoilers to the story of the version 2.2 and maybe to something else. Good luck to read all of this. I yap for Ena and maybe repeat myself little too much. Mentioned characters:
Sunday
Robin
Aventurine
Dreammaster
Bronya
Seele
Cocolia
Mentioned Aeons:
Ena
Xipe
Hooh
Long
Oroboros
Qlipoth
Mentioned organisations:
Beyond the Sky Choir
Astral Express
Family
In loving memory: Ena the Order “The one who transcends the many”
In loving memory of Tazzyrronth the Propagation “The Sand king”
In loving memory of the Great Tatalov “The Garbage King”
So, the original intent behind this post was to create a lot of puns about Order and Sunday (for example something like Golden Order Radagon Sunday, “I will have order” with Sunday and a falling train instead, Sunday working in a delivery and saying that someone’s order was cancelled).
But then I started remembering all parts of Penacony storyline that have fascinated me. And one particular part master stroked me. When Sunday used his “tell the truth or die in 24 hours voice magic” he used not the power of Order, but Harmony – the Path he supposedly deliberately left behind and betrayed.
How can I be so sure, that he didn’t use the power of Order, making it look like the power of Harmony? Well, nor Dr. Ratio, nor Aventurine, nor Welt, nor (most importantly) Robin didn’t notice any sign that the Order was used and that the power on display did in fact belong to Harmony. And mind you, all of them are quite clever, experienced and hard to deceive. And in Aventurine’s conversation with Acheron in the Horizon of existence, Acheron (who as Self-Annihilator isn’t affected by the illusions of Order and can see through them) referred to the brand, used on Aventurine as the “brand of Harmony”. And the last proof is that when Sunday uses this power, he makes a call (or if you are a pun enjoyer like me, “an order”) to Xipe, referring to THEM as “Triple-faced soul”.
So, this was a really long and a roundabout way to prove that even with his supposed devotion to Order, Sunday still remains the Pathstrider of Harmony (and the laws of the HSR universe dictate, that you become a Pathstrider by following a philosophy of a particular Path). While being a Pathstrider of two Paths is not called impossible in the game, and Harmony and Order mostly overlap, there are some key differences between them. It means, that Sunday to some extant still believes in a philosophy of Harmony and is not a complete devotee of Order, how some people could have believed.
So, the goal of this post is to delve on the philosophy of Ena and Harmony through Sunday’s story, words, thoughts and actions. And to make some obnoxious theories, but that’s later.
So, let’s begin!
Ⅰ
In his childhood, Sunday alongside Robin, was called by the Dreammaster “two best interpreters of the Great One”. That means, that as a child, Sunday was extremely close to the philosophy of Harmony.
Let’s remember what Harmony embodies as a philosophy:
“Then, they say, O you who have reached the end, enter into the paradise that envelops all! Join this great choir and feast, listen to the beating of billions upon billions of hearts, holding you in THEIR embrace...”
“To battle the brutality of the laws of the universe, intelligent lifeforms must discard their cowardly selfishness and the differences between individuals, fusing into one singular melody — to have the strong help the weak, and to protect life with death.”
That is what Harmony preaches and Sunday was a follower of this ideology. Harmony preaches selfless people not only helping and uplifting each other to build “the paradise” (a prominent theme in Sunday’s thoughts) bit also welcoming every other willing person. Harmony philosophy is about acceptance, forgiveness, cooperation, that no person is beyond redemption, that in every person has inside of them the force that genuinely cares for others and strives for good. Harmony preaches something like this: “Because if it is possible for every person to become a member of Family’s shared paradise, then we should at lest try to welcome them in it.” That’s why Harmonic Strings (Emanators of Xipe) are not people and are actually manifestations materialized as the responses to the Hive Mind’s demands. It is a seemingly naïve and romantic ideal for the sometimes and indifferent brutal universe of HSR that requires great kindness, compassion, understanding, belief in other people, ability to see the better in other people and uplift them. And Sunday-follower of Order reflects on that:
"When I appeared as a child, my speech, mindset, and soul reflected immaturity and innocence."
"As I grew into adulthood, I left behind my childlike side."
Sunday (as shown in the quest) was a person of great understanding, compassion, and love for other living beings, full of desire to protect them (bird, Robin, other people). He was able to embrace even the worst people if they would show even the slightest glimpse of desire to redeem themselves and change for the better, like people who allegedly sold their own children. It is notable that he both acts as a follower of Harmony and an enforcer of Order conspiracy because of these very character traits. The motivation is the same, just the choice how to act based on this motivation is different between him and Robin because of different experiences.
As the ardent believer of Harmony, the seed of doubt in his mind was planted ironically by the very followers of the Harmony -the Family. And the disillusionment about Harmony also began, when his belief in other people was tested. When asking Xipe to clear his doubts, Sunday asks three questions:
“Who can judge the strong when their power hides their crimes?”
“Who can vouch for the weak when they will pay any price to survive?”
“If "the strong defending the weak" is truly the foundation of paradise, then who is responsible for the suffering and anguish in this wretched world?”
The questions display that the preached Harmony doesn’t work as intended. The extremely hard ideal to follow was exactly too demanding for numerous people who couldn’t stand up to the responsibility that came with upholding it. Also, as displayed both in the main quest of Penacony and in numerous events and side quests, flaws and imperfections of Family(note: of the Family on Penacony) are numerous. We have an entire “Ode to Fool” in the Grand Theatre about internal bloodthirsty war between the Family, where two of the seven families of Penacony ceased to exist. When even Family: those who preach the Odes of Harmony don’t act as they preach, are not harmonious, don’t show compassion and forgiveness, it is extremely hard to still believe in its teachings. And from that, the belief in people starts to slowly crumble as the very belief in a possibility of a paradise preached by the Xipe, is tested.
That is what turns him to Order. The feeling that while the paradise of Harmony is theoretically possible, how much suffering must people experience before it actually arrives. And when will it arrive? And IF it will arrive? These doubts in human inherent desire to change for the better leads to the idea: “And what if they don’t change? Then why take the risks? Why not to create something that guarantees their safety, happiness and protection?” His desire for Order is still born from his love for humanity.
Ⅱ
And while the shift in beliefs did in fact happen, it wasn’t completed and some beliefs in Harmony remain, alongside doubts about the philosophy of Order.
To prove that, let’s remember the Grand Theatre part of the quest (“Everything that Rises Must Converge”).
Before that Dreammaster has a particularly interesting conversation with Sunday. Sunday not only changes their plan, taking Robin’s place in the plan and then he asks Dreammaster why Penacony was the chosen planet to bring “paradise” of the Order. If he was completely convinced, why would he pose these questions?
Sunday several times brings the part of 107,336 souls of the Oak Family in his monologues. Why? Because he uses them to give self-validation to his beliefs. It comes not only from his desire to grant “paradise” to everyone (and this guys as stated dreamed about the paradise of Order), but also from his self-perceived responsibility as the Head of the Oak Family to stand up to wishes and desires of his subordinates, to protect them, and as the man with greatest position among them, to fulfil the hardest task. Because if people he is in charge of follow and support his views, not only it gives him more belief in his set of beliefs(ha), but also gives him even greater responsibility to prove that their faith in him, in Order is not misplaced.
In first two acts he displays before us shortcomings of the Harmony, trying to display himself as the ardent believer of the Order:
In the first act “Ode to Prisoner” he says that the freedom was not really achieved in Penacony’s great Independence War, posing a doubt that the ideal of Harmony even existed in Penacony since the very beginning.
In the second act “Ode to Fool” the theme of not so harmonic Harmony remains. Sunday talks about internal civil war between the Family, that eradicated two of the seven families on Penacony. How “harmonic” it is!
But in the last and most important act “Ode to Order” has a surprisingly different theme, hidden in it.
It is supposedly talking about the future of Penacony, but there is something more if you listen to its content once again:
General: “Without a ruler who would protect the weak and fight back against the tyrants?”
Chansellor: “We must assist each other in protecting the weak, just as we must assist each other in opposing the tyrannical.”
This dialogue argues that the very measures Sunday preaches, are not required for the coexistence and unification are also an option. Case of how differently Order and Harmony solve one problem.
Jester: “Without a ruler, who will make the stars follow their paths, the tides rise and fall, and allow life to grow?”
C: “These things did as they will long before the ruler appeared, just as they will continue to do with rulers gone.”
Where the Order requires an all-mighty divine king, controlling the world (like God-Emperor of Mankind from Warhammer), Harmony simply says that actually such beings are not needed.
Minister: “However, now that we have bid farewell to our ruler. Who shall take their place?”
C: “We no longer require a ruler, for we were originally all rulers who stand above all things.”
Once again, order preaches about the ruler on the top of everything, the one who has all of the rights and makes all of decisions. But harmony doesn’t work that way. Harmony preaches that if every person has equal rights to enter its paradise, then they are essentially equal. Where Order differentiates people and treats them differently according to THEIR criteria, harmony does not as THEY are all-embracing.
The choice of the position of Chansellor as the one giving answers is deliberate. It is another innuendo on differences between Harmony and Order. In Order king takes the power and pushes everyone under his control. Chancellor, as the representation of Harmony in this argument, is a position not a person. He is subject to change, unlike king. Unlike king, Chancellor is chosen among the people, by the people. He serves as one man being the voice of many people, for they have chosen him as a Chancellor because their ideals are the same and thus, they have entrusted him to fulfil their ideals in reality in their stead.
Some people were not satisfied that the arguments were not posed against Sunday by the Astral Express. Well, this entire act serves as a counter to his arguments, showing the point of view of Harmony arguing against the necessity of ideals of Order. Most importantly, they don’t disprove hid arguments completely, but rather pose a possible alternative take on things.
The Clockwork doesn’t work on puppets because they are “satisfied”. But what gives satisfaction: Order or Harmony? In my opinion, Harmony. Remember: in THEIR paradise there is “peace bestowed, sorrows and strife released.”
The “king” in the text obviously refers to Ena the Order, and the last talk from the “Future” in the act is about “final rites” to the king, that there is no need to seek THEIR existence, nor remember THEM. It illustrates the final confusion of Sunday: if Ena didn’t fight back while being consumed, if the philosophy of Harmony prevailed in the confrontation among the Paths, why try to restore the Order?
And after that particular act he chose to reveal to us the finale of Ena’s story. That THEY were banished to oblivion by the united will of the people who defied Order. And THEIR death was praised alongside praises for the appearance of Harmony – the ideal that prevailed on Penacony in the end.
And that is what actually 3 is actually about. Puppets(Members of the Beyond the Sky Choir) ask what they and everyone else should do after the “king(Ena)” disappeared.
They feel no safety and out of their comfort zone when the one that controlled everything about their lives suddenly disappeared. And Chancellor’s answers are the representation of the ideology of Harmony, that you don’t need to be controlled to strive in life, for that there is more to universe and that the “king” is not actually required for betterment of society, that society can harmonize and evolve on their own, that the unity of people can replace the “king”. Ironically, “the Ode to Order” doesn’t glorify Order but rather disproves it from being the one and only universal truth.
In this act Sunday actually reveals, intended or not, that he doesn’t disprove Harmony’s ideal, that he subconsciously feels that it can stand on par with the ideal of Order.
Then, Sunday poses between us three questions, each one has different answers depending on your set of believes: order or Harmony. Notice, that Sunday doesn’t give his own answers to the questions.
“Is darkness equal to daylight?”
This question is very metaphorical. Radiance and light, eradicating darkness and giving protection to those under the light are a repeated theme in the ideology of the Order (“I shall ascend to the heavens, becoming the scorching sun. Bathed in my light, my people shall flourish, while all evil shall be eradicated” / “Those who live in the shadows do not bear the right to tread the illuminated stage.” / “I now permit you to gaze into the sun [hardest line in the game btw]”) But radiance is also a term sometimes used to describe Xipe. The greatest difference lies in the fact that what Order will not tolerate (“darkness”), harmony will be able to co-exist with and eventually embrace. So for Order they are different, but for Harmony not at all.
“Are sinners equal to the righteous?”
Order punishes the unjust and uplifts the righteous. For it, they are not equal. But for Harmony they are, mostly because before Xipe the very concept of sinners doesn’t exist. Harmony is all-embracing, for everyone can change for the better and be redeemed.
It is a discourse in philosophy: first question was about whether are you able to tolerate something that goes against you. While Harmony can, Order cannot (Sunday can as literally shown in the quest so he leans more to Harmony in that part). Second question was about whether people can change for the better and be redeemed. Order doesn’t believe in it, Harmony does.
“If you are born weak, which god should you turn for solace?”
It is another question to choose between philosophies because Sunday struggles to choose himself. If you are weak and you bow before someone(“king”) for the protection then this is a choice befitting Order, but if you choose to cooperate with others, uplift one another and “listen beating of billions of hearts holding you on their embrace” then this is the choice of Harmony.
Notice, that Sunday doesn’t consider us as enemies at all. As he says: “I genuinely wish to avoid a violent clash with my esteemed guests from afar.” When Astral Express team asks Sunday why did he invite us to the duel, he responds: “Because our shared goals give equal weight to the beliefs we strive for.” He regards everything happening more like a debate of two equally valid philosophies. Even in the fight with him (second one) he still invites us to join his chorus of Order. And he says “our final talk is concluded” only when he turns into his Embryo of Philosophy form, when literally everyone who could has risen against him. And then he reveals his true emotions:
“If your ‘paradise’ can save more people, sever my path with your hands”
He knows he is not infallible, that his plan can be wrong, that there is a possibility of making better choices, better decisions. And he asks us to prove, that Harmony after all is a stronger concept then that of Order. And his quote before that really makes everything extremely ironic:
“If we had never experienced solitude, how could we embark on different paths?”
Once again, this solitude refers to the times when he still completely followed Harmony. Yet he was the only person on the entire Penacony because of his great compassion, who actually followed what Xipe preached. Yet, in this he was alone. How can you be in Harmony with anyone, if you are alone. The irony is in the fact, that if Robin didn’t leave Penacony, of if he met another genuine believer, he wouldn’t have turn to Order and he would remain under Xipe. With many similarities of Order and Harmony: the epitome of Order is loneliness, being a sole ruler of everything, the epitome of Harmony is a unity of numerous people.
“And thus, my talk about Sunday has concluded. Next part is about Ena.”
Ⅲ
While his monologue about history of Ena can also be interpreted as parts above, it is much more interesting to discuss it when talking about Ena THEMSELVES.
“Let us commence with the dawning of the world… After the Dusk Wars, darkness veiled the sky, and chaos consumed the earth. Ena the Order emerged, destined to restore all existence. That marked the first day.”
The Dusk Wars are one of the most ancient (if not the most) periods of history we know about. Ena emerging at that time, makes THEM one of the oldest Aeons alongside Long, Hooh, Qlipoth and Oroboros.
” THEY gathered nebulae and forged them into picks, thus creating a grand lyre with black and white keys. Strike the white keys, and the sun rose. Strike the black keys moon and the rose. And so the cycle of day and night arose. That marked the second day. “
“THEY transmuted streams of stars into inked nibs, creating symbols to be pronounced and counted. THEY molded stardust into flowing rivers, assigning the righteous upstream and the unjust downstream. Thus, all things were marked and the world learned to discern between good and evil. That marked the third and fourth days. “
“THEY used the planetary rings to establish the law, forging a code of conduct among the masses. A grand lyre with black and white symbols of articulation and numerical notation took the form of musical notes. The downward-flowing river became a melody, and the cannon of law dictated the form. Thus, all mortals found their unique place within this symphony. That marked the fifth and sixth days. “
Ena, as we know was a control freak, at much bigger scale and extent, then Sunday could have ever hoped to become. We know that «Ena's harmonic songs seems to align within a three-dimensional framework, akin to an emperor maintaining hierarchical order among all creatures» Not only people, but the movement of celestial bodies were under THEIR control. THEY wanted to and almost controlled everything in the known cosmos. So, THEY were the only person responsible for everything. And when THEY were consumed, the manager of everything disappeared and the scales of order and discord lost their balance. That is why Hooh intervened and took THEIR responsibilities.
“THEY imbued world with meaning, perfecting all things in the heavens and earth. Then, THEY rested from the labors of creation. Yet, all beings cried to Ena – ‘Under the banner of the Order, you have defined all things in the Cosmos… but this made us realize that we are but puppets in your hands!’ – Thus, on that day, all beings united and cast the Aeon into the abyss of oblivion. That marked the seventh day. “
And this is the most interesting part. We know that Ena was consumed by Xipe, so why does Sunday refer to THEIR death as an action, made by humans?
As we know, Xipe “hails from multiple harmonious celestial words”, “a plural Aeon” and “THEY are the amalgamation of thousands of entities”. Thus, I pose that Xipe ascension was not a process of accension of a one person who somehow become an Aeon, but rather that several beings in a moment of unity (of “harmony”) were ascending as one. Next bit is purely theoretical:
But who could provide such unity before the existence of Harmony? Only the Beyond the Sky Choir – followers of Ena could understand the true extent of Ena’s control over everything and unify to create a change. Thus, mortals ascended into Aeon, befitting their shared beliefs, and from the Beyond the Sky Choir, Xipe arose with a new symphony of Harmony.
ⅠⅤ
Also, some other interesting bits from 2.2. storyline:
The most overlooked part of 2.2 quest for me is that part before boss battle when Sunday says that he doesn’t intend to either resurrect Ena or become a new Aeon of Order. While the actual possibility of such actions remains “enigmatic, we can now speculate that it could be possible to take control of a masterless Path or revive its master. I speculate that when we finally reach strongest Emanators level of poweallies/etc. the enemies we will be facing before actual Aeons will be unique beings like that: fallen Aeons in the process of resurrection or people in the process of becoming a new Aeon of a Path without one.
Another interesting bit of lore about Ena is that while she was “consumed” by Xipe, her Path still lingers in the cosmos masterless. While it was known about Paths of other fallen Aeons it is interesting that even assimilation by a broader concept Aeon isn’t enough to completely eradicate the Path from the face of the cosmos.
Some other connections that I noticed about Sunday while rewatching 2.2 quest were surprising even for me. Name a planet where the ruler intentionally left their subordinates in ignorance about the truth about the events for the sole reason of protecting them? It’s Belobog with Bronya and Seele (I could talk about similarities and differences of Bronya and Sunday but that would make already long post even longer). And this is why Ena was able to persuade Qlipoth. Because Qlipoth shares with THEM that general theme of protection. Because their Paths partly overlap. Because Preservation is about keeping everything dangerous behind the walls (in this case dangerous information about Cocolia), and everything inside the walls is safe, protected, or you could say “in Order”.
Ⅴ
P.S. I feel like in this quest there is still so much more to discuss(and I could write EVEN MORE), but this long wall of text is already too out of character from me as a humble follower of Enigmata.
2024.05.14 18:57 DeadByDaylight_Dev 8.0.0 PTB
 | https://preview.redd.it/2s08nvx8ud0d1.png?width=1000&format=png&auto=webp&s=4b7e612e83473a540fbc737e3f071d793711d950 submitted by DeadByDaylight_Dev to deadbydaylight [link] [comments] Important
https://preview.redd.it/3oqew9fyvd0d1.png?width=1000&format=png&auto=webp&s=8c7990483447fcd82ef9e893ad0ddec2c485512e ContentNew Survivor - Aestri YazarNew Survivor Perks
New Killer - The LichKiller PowerBound with the skin and flesh of men, the Book is packed with spells both forbidden and wicked. To select a Spell, hold the Ability Button to open the Spell selection. The Lich has access to 4 different Spells:
Treasure Chests found around the map can contain Magic Items. Each Survivor can equip up to two Magic Items at once: one pair of Boots and one pair of Gauntlets. These Magic Items are each connected to a specific Spell, and activate when The Lich casts that spell.
Rarely, Survivors can instead find the Hand or Eye of Vecna in a Treasure Chest. When picked up and used, Survivors gain a special ability while at full health. Using one of these special abilities costs the Survivor a health state and reveals their location with Killer Instinct for 3 seconds.
New Killer Perks
Killer Perk Updates
Survivor Perk Updates
Killer UpdatesThe Blight - Addons
The Cannibal - Basekit
The Cannibal - Addons
The Deathslinger - Basekit
The Deathslinger - Addons
The Mastermind - Basekit
The Good Guy - Basekit
The Good Guy - Addons
Toolbox Updates
Map UpdatesNew Map - Forgotten RuinsA new Map comes to the world of Dead by Daylight, found in The Decimated Borgo Realm. A tower standing tall alone, but what is above ground hides a new world underground. A prison area where Vittorio Toscano was thrown in for some time. On the other side of the dungeon, the Alchemist room is found, where a scholar can learn secrets of the world, or the dimensions that surround the universe of the Entity.Decimated Borgo Realm UpdateThe red lighting was a big issue in the realm of The Decimated Borgo. The art and lighting team took care to make the realm more accessible to all players and bring a different ambiance to the maps.https://preview.redd.it/x29tfujkwd0d1.png?width=1000&format=png&auto=webp&s=a3712d01fe049d24501e0a2026653d250f6cb936 FeaturesUX
Bug FixesArchives
Audio
Bots
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Environment/Maps
Perks
UI
Misc
Known IssuesCharacters
|
2024.05.14 18:55 stormyfuck bridgerstoned 2.2
Let’s do it again, friends: get stoned and listen to my thoughts on season 2, episode 2!
submitted by stormyfuck to BridgertonNetflix [link] [comments]
- Anthony and benedict are getting shaved and all i hear is the sweeney todd pipes
- kate in this beautiful jewel-toned bridgerton blue 💙
- Anthony obviously in love with kate while actively trying to court edwina. His cocky little smile kills me
- Lmfao “i cannot think of any cleverer way to say this, but noooo”
- Pen: goddamn it eloise i did exactly what you wanted and you still criticize LW
- The look colin gives pen 💗 theyve done a great job building up the polin romance
- I also hate guns and hunting and would be pissed as fuck if some dude comes in my home and starts hanging that ugly shit
- I’m honestly really happy phili gets a love match with finch
- Lord lumley seems sweet honestly. And he’s right, poetry is better read aloud. Its a type of song really. I hate that poetry is usually taught to kids by reading it silently or reading it aloud in class for the first time without any idea how to intonate or understand what theyre expressing. I had the opportunity to see a shakespeare play performed before i had read or even heard of the story and i was shocked that i was able to understand it and enjoy it. I was like why isnt this how we do it always??
- sorry i have half an english degree and i’m a real pain in the ass about it
- Also btw has anyone read the book much ado about mean girls? Its mean girls but written in shakespearean style. Its a hoot if you’re also a nerd like me
- Ok sorry back to bridgerton. I paused it for so long to type all that my tv went to screensaver mode
- Was mr dorset earnest in trying to meet with kate or was it actually orchestrated by anthony?
- I also prefer a warm spicy chai to a milky black tea
- Benedict to mondrich: sorry anthony’s an ass, I am not tho, please tell me more
- Eloise has another ribbon hat contraption. This one is like a straw beret
- I think its a bit of a weird styling choice for eloise to wear these ribbon head things. They dont offer any practicality: they dont keep her hair up or out of her face, they dont keep her head warm or shield her from the sun. they seem to be purely decorative and i feel like eloise would just rather nothing than something simply pretty
- I liked the look she had in colins return scene when it was just pinned to the side. I feel like that would be her go to
- Edwina trying so hard to hook kate up and get her off her back
- Pen is so clever. Eloise literally tells her, look i figured out where you print your LWs and pen just smirks and el goes oh your right im acting silly
- A & K arguing about the horses and once again the chemistry is so damn oobvious i’m surprised the whole of the stands isnt shouting get a room
- Lol i just noticed lumley brings back 2 cups (presumably for edwina and kate) and anthony takes kates
- The look he gives her when she whistles…boy is S M I T T E N
- Stop hollerin like a newsboy - i say this to my dog when hes outside barking at the neighbor
- Eloise finding a locked door in a place she’s not supposed to be, knocking on the door, and then immediately bothering the first person she sees is just a perfect example of her character lol
- The new lord featherington is like fuuuuck i thought this was m lucky break but i’m screwed
- Love QCs colorful wigs. Were the ornate wigs back then different colors? I can only picture them in white
- This is the first time kate’s not in blue. We’re coming out of our bridgerton blue and into our purples era. Purple represents royalty, opulence, ambition, and power. Edwina is in pink almost exclusively. Pink represents young love, girlhood, innocence
- “You are the one who is always right” benedict is good with the quick comebacks
- “Why should i be the one to admit defeat??” aka her sister hates me but i love her so im not giving in
- Zeh-bruhs
- anthony showing up with that horse is like mentioning you liked curious george and him showing up with a chimpanzee. Never gift a pet/live animal
- I like that mondrich is like fuck that snobby other club, i’m opening my own place with blackjack and hookers
- Anthony doesnt get invited to one party and he’s like WOW rude
- Time for the loser suitor show
- Surprised none of these losers did a stand up act
- Poor pen so sick of yellow. We’re gonna add that bridgerrton blue soon and see you in beautiful greens 💚
- Colin being the corniest: I really got to know someone i didn’t know at all: me
- colin to pen: you’re not a woman, youre my friend. I dont find you worth loving or fucking
- Lady F would have been happy to scheme with jack and get the cowpers money. Shed probaby end up killing cressi somehow
- Lol i love what a critic of the arts benedict is. a true artist
- i read somewhere once that its a staple of the regency romance to diss byron because he was a very popular poet at the time, so its kind of like yeah i'm a corny romantic type but i'm a cool corny romantic type. i dont like whats on the radio, i have good taste
- Anthony to benedict. Write that shit down write that shit down
- Anthony was definitely the “can i copy your homework” kid
- Anthony: you forgot to invite me. That was your mistake right? Im obviously supposed to be here??
- Literally speechless when he sees kate
- Anthony: I might not be able to give you romance, but i can take care of you and give you a happy life. Kate: you hear that shit? He’ll never love her what a pig
- Kate is treating the ton the way i treated my last job. I dont care if they like me, i’m here for the money
- Penelope once again being a shrewd business woman. Give me the discount to keep me away lol
- QC literally has no idea who pen is lol
2024.05.14 18:55 SoSarcasticSavage A message to all my fellow anarchists:
To my fellow anarchist brothers and sisters.
We must recognise that we are all individual human beings, first and foremost. Let freethinking, self expression and individuality be our core tenets.
The great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said it best: injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere and people should be judged on the content of their character.
For we are all deserving of equal rights and opportunities and we should all treat each other with dignity and civility.
Remember the golden rules: "Treat others as you would like to be treated." and "Do no harm, but take no shit."
Remember the acronym: M.R. C.A.G.E (media, religion, corporations, academia, government, entertainment)
George Carlin said it best: It's a big club and you ain't in it.
It doesn't matter who you vote for, voting is the illusion of choice. Politics is a left-right paradigm and the political spectrum is like a pendulum going back and forth between the two extremes. The left and right are two wings of the same bird and they both answer to the ruling class.
The real issue we are facing is classism. Throughout history the ruling class has maintained power by using divide and conquer to pit people against each other and keep them fighting amongst themselves.
Racism and sexism are forms of classism because they involve assigning someone to a lower or higher class based on their race or biological sex. Conflicts like this serve as the perfect distraction for the ruling class. This is inherently wrong, therefore we should do away with class.
The ruling class is made up of the 1% of the richest and most powerful people in society, everyone else makes up the other the 99% and we are considered to be beneath them.
Despite the fact that they use various forms of media to manipulate our perceptions, by promoting groupthink, indoctrinating people into a sense of conformity and encouraging them to form echo chambers...
Despite the fact that they used divide and conquer to create this illusion of there being so many different classes and opposing groups...
The reality remains the same!
Malcolm X said it best: we cannot trust the media, it has and will always be used as a propaganda tool for the state.
There are only two classes, the rulers and the ruled.
Anarchy comes from the greek words "an" meaning "without" and "archy" comes from the greek word "archon" meaning "ruler". Therefore "anarchy" means "without rulers."
Think for yourselves. Do not let them get inside your head! Do not allow them to divide us against each other!
Fuck the government and fuck the classists. Anarchy and freedom for all who would abolish class and live in peace.
FAIRNESS AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!
submitted by SoSarcasticSavage to Anarchy4Everyone [link] [comments]
We must recognise that we are all individual human beings, first and foremost. Let freethinking, self expression and individuality be our core tenets.
The great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said it best: injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere and people should be judged on the content of their character.
For we are all deserving of equal rights and opportunities and we should all treat each other with dignity and civility.
Remember the golden rules: "Treat others as you would like to be treated." and "Do no harm, but take no shit."
Remember the acronym: M.R. C.A.G.E (media, religion, corporations, academia, government, entertainment)
George Carlin said it best: It's a big club and you ain't in it.
It doesn't matter who you vote for, voting is the illusion of choice. Politics is a left-right paradigm and the political spectrum is like a pendulum going back and forth between the two extremes. The left and right are two wings of the same bird and they both answer to the ruling class.
The real issue we are facing is classism. Throughout history the ruling class has maintained power by using divide and conquer to pit people against each other and keep them fighting amongst themselves.
Racism and sexism are forms of classism because they involve assigning someone to a lower or higher class based on their race or biological sex. Conflicts like this serve as the perfect distraction for the ruling class. This is inherently wrong, therefore we should do away with class.
The ruling class is made up of the 1% of the richest and most powerful people in society, everyone else makes up the other the 99% and we are considered to be beneath them.
Despite the fact that they use various forms of media to manipulate our perceptions, by promoting groupthink, indoctrinating people into a sense of conformity and encouraging them to form echo chambers...
Despite the fact that they used divide and conquer to create this illusion of there being so many different classes and opposing groups...
The reality remains the same!
Malcolm X said it best: we cannot trust the media, it has and will always be used as a propaganda tool for the state.
There are only two classes, the rulers and the ruled.
Anarchy comes from the greek words "an" meaning "without" and "archy" comes from the greek word "archon" meaning "ruler". Therefore "anarchy" means "without rulers."
Think for yourselves. Do not let them get inside your head! Do not allow them to divide us against each other!
Fuck the government and fuck the classists. Anarchy and freedom for all who would abolish class and live in peace.
FAIRNESS AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!
2024.05.14 18:52 magusmagma Am i autistic?
Am i autistic?
Lately I have been going through more issues with my health.
Fyi, i have Marfans, MVP, Fibromyalgia, Panic Disorder, Heart Palpitations, Frozen Shoulder, lower Back isues, crowded teeth, flat feet, joint pain, low energy.
Recently my mental abilities are getting worse. Sensitive, low pain tolerance, memory loss, slow information processing, brain fog, poor concentration, poor hand eye coordination, lack of eye contact, obsessive compulsive, lost in thoughts, cannot socialize. My wife has given up on me. I keep asking the same questions and i still can't follow. I am a teacher by profession. I lost my mother 2 years ago.
Please help.
submitted by magusmagma to mentalhealth [link] [comments]
Lately I have been going through more issues with my health.
Fyi, i have Marfans, MVP, Fibromyalgia, Panic Disorder, Heart Palpitations, Frozen Shoulder, lower Back isues, crowded teeth, flat feet, joint pain, low energy.
Recently my mental abilities are getting worse. Sensitive, low pain tolerance, memory loss, slow information processing, brain fog, poor concentration, poor hand eye coordination, lack of eye contact, obsessive compulsive, lost in thoughts, cannot socialize. My wife has given up on me. I keep asking the same questions and i still can't follow. I am a teacher by profession. I lost my mother 2 years ago.
Please help.
2024.05.14 18:43 Yurii_S_Kh A Parish Priest’s Conversation in the Cemetery on Radonitsa
 | Before I came to the faith, I didn’t like going to the cemetery. What’s more, the cemetery always reminded me of my mortality, and it made me sad. Since I didn’t see life as eternal, it seemed sad to live on earth. submitted by Yurii_S_Kh to SophiaWisdomOfGod [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/5iqk8wg87f0d1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=ca4ed8cb5d2d2add69e831459d6614da6d532d23 What should I live for? In order to die? It’s all pointless. Willy-nilly you arrive at the idea of evolution here. Man appeared on earth as a result of positive mutations and eventually we began to have consciousness, conscience and reason. Sometimes you clutch your head, saying, “Why did I become a human being? Who needed all these mutations if I will just be buried in the ground or turn into a pathetic handful of ashes?” With such ideas, the old saying seemed justified: “Take everything from life before the worms eat you.” The awareness of the fact that you are a mold from an eternal Image justifies your existence and gives it meaning. And the thought of your inevitable meeting with the Creator makes you take your life seriously. The purpose is revealed to you: He loves you, and you are a child of His love. And you think: “How good!” It was only after I came to the faith that the cemetery ceased to be an eerie place for me and turned into a “repository of completed narratives.” Our cemetery beyond the village in the heart of the forest is divided into the smaller, old one, which appeared in the seventeenth century, and the new and larger one. Do you know how our village cemetery differs from urban ones—apart from its size? I served the funeral for almost everyone who is buried in the new cemetery. I made the “last entry” in the destiny of almost every person buried here. I pray for them and remember many of them. Besides, even before my ordination I had lived and worked with these people for many years. And I know that their life in eternity depends on my prayer in some way. Our bond with them was not severed by their demise. Spiritual care does not stop even beyond the grave. The Church year, with its memorial Ancestors’ Saturdays and especially the Paschal services, does not allow us to forget those who have already departed this life. And visiting people’s graves on Radonitsa always is always a special, joyful event for me. I go to the cemetery as if to visit my friends—those whom I came to love during their earthly lives and with whom I prayed and restored the church—my brothers and sisters. One day I had a dream just before going to serve on Ancestors’ Saturday. It was as if I had died, my soul had flown away, and I could even see my own body from outside it. And I was so upset and sorry that I could not say goodbye to anyone, hug my children and kiss my wife. And my soul began to cry from anguish. Suddenly a thought flashed through my mind: “Today is Ancestors’ Saturday! How many people will come to church now, but there will be no service! Where will another priest come from?” And my soul, accustomed to responsibility, immediately returned to my body. I woke up and was relieved that it had all just been a dream. But then I remembered forever how my soul had wept after leaving the body. From that day on I began to feel compassion for the deceased while performing the funeral over them. https://preview.redd.it/6n9w3htc7f0d1.png?width=766&format=png&auto=webp&s=865fb6725a4d697012e0c45be99ed41cee63ec40 I am greeted first by Alexei at the entrance to the new cemetery. I learned a lot from that man and in many ways, would like to be like him. He knew how to live and had a great desire to live. But for all his buoyancy, illness taught Alexei to be patient and to humble himself. He was dying for several years, but every time after the unction he got better and continued to come to church every Sunday and receive Communion. And he passed away on the feast of the Ascension of the Lord. The last thing Alexei said to me—and I managed to give him Communion—was: “Thank you, Father. Thanks for everything!” Christ is Risen, Alexei! The well-groomed grave of the child Sashenka [a diminutive form of the name Alexander.—Trans.] is very close. He received Communion almost at every Sunday Liturgy. He drowned in Feodosia the day before he was supposed to start going to the first grade. His father Nikolai, a simple worker, could not save the child. After that, through hard labor he earned a sufficient sum of money for us to pay for the work of icon-painters. Three large icons of the Deesis in the St. Nicholas Chapel of our church are his sacrifice in memory of his son. One day, after his death, the boy came to his father in a dream and said: “Papa, I’ve been to many places, but I like St. Alexander Svirsky’s monastery the most.” Christ is Risen, dear child! Pray for us there. Irina. Irochka, I still can’t come to terms with the fact that you’ve been here for six years already. You shouldn’t have died, especially at such a young age. You are our beauty! I will never forget it—after I had given you Divine Unction and Communion, you took my hand in yours, already translucent from illness, and, kissing it, said: “Now I’m not afraid of anything. Thank you.” I hope you were not offended that I almost forced your husband away from your grave. You know, I started to fear for him. The dead cling to the dead, and the living cling to the living, as it were. Christ is Risen, our joy! * * * Sophia, I’ll tell you honestly: no one bakes pancakes the way you baked them. Do you think I’m joking? No, in all seriousness. The schoolchildren who cleaned the church with us and then ate your pancakes with tea have already grown up. Now some of them have their own children, but every time they come, they recall how much they enjoyed your delicious pancakes! https://preview.redd.it/bki5kxkh7f0d1.png?width=300&format=png&auto=webp&s=61aec1e80b6e09ef4450f1558ea47353e17ba303 What hard times we had! Now we have both a refectory and a parish house (with two floors), but back then we didn’t have anything. I still wonder how you always managed to cope with everything. Christ is Risen, our wise woman! Praskovyushka [a diminutive form of the name Parasceva.—Trans.]! My angel who selflessly helped me in the altar. Today is Radonitsa and the eighth anniversary of your birth into eternity. You read by syllables, but you taught me so much! My friend, I am grateful to God that He brought me together with you. Pray for me, mother, so that someday I too can reach the measure of your simplicity and learn to hope and trust in God the way you did. Of course, you know that your youngest daughter gave up drinking and came to the church, that she prays and often takes Communion. Today she is almost never out of the church, as was the case with you. So, both your daughters are in the church. Your prayer does its job, and even after your death it does not lose its power. You cried your eyes out for your daughter. The time came, and she told me herself, “That’s it, Father, there there’s no turning back.” What a wise woman you are! Praskovyushka, Christ is Risen! And here rests my old acquaintance, Vasily Ivanovich. In his old age a strange thing happened to him: he fell in love like a teenager. He started writing love poetry, but he was ashamed to reveal it to anyone. But he trusted me. He would come to the entrance of my house, sit down on a bench and wait for me to see him and come out. Then he would take out his notebook, and his “sonnets” would start flowing. How many times I invited you to the church, my friend! You kept promising, but... never came. Christ is Risen, Vasily! Then the tombstones of rich people begin. There are three tombstones here, behind an imposing metal fence. That’s right, it’s a family of three people. Petrovich, an entrepreneur, a good man who drank. He didn’t give sufficient attention to his son who was hooked on drugs. No matter how much they tried to cure him it was all in vain. After the young man’s death, Petrovich’s wife took to drinking too, as if she had decided to die. They lived beside the church. Their house had once been built on church land. It was a big, beautiful “mansion” in which you could live for many years. One day Petrovich came to our church while I was racking my brains over the problem of where to find money for a new roof. I desperately needed to have our winter church reroofed. A piece broke off from the destroyed bell-tower and pierced the roof in several places. And we had just plastered the walls inside, putting so much effort into it. There was no one in the church except Petrovich and me. I went up to him and greeted him. I saw that he was having a very hard time. And who would be feeling otherwise after losing his only son? I addressed him: “Petrovich, do a good deed in memory of Kostya [a diminutive form of the name Konstantin.—Trans.]. Do you see how the roof was broken by bricks from the bell-tower? Help us redo it as long as there is no rain so far. You’re a wealthy man, help me. I will also ask the parishioners—and we will do it all together. I’m afraid we’ll ruin the plaster inside after the rain starts.” Petrovich was silent for a little while. His face was so kind, he really was a nice chap. Then he said: “You know, father, I’ve been thinking about how I’m going to live now, after my only son’s death. And I’ve decided that now I will live only for myself. So, please don’t take it amiss, but look for other sponsors.” And indeed, Petrovich started to live for himself: he bought a new car, had a holiday abroad, and began to dress well. And then Petrovich disappeared—we couldn’t find him for a whole week. One afternoon as I was walking to the church, a boy of about ten caught up with me: “Father, go and see what it is! I keep looking and I can’t figure it out.” I went with him, and he brought me to the back of Petrovich’s house, where there was a huge puddle. I looked where the boy was pointing and saw something like a swollen sugar bag floating in the puddle. But it didn’t seem to be a bag—it resembled a man. We called the police, and Petrovich’s daughter-in-law pulled him out of the puddle. She said she saw a bullet hole in his forehead. But no one investigated it then. I performed the funeral for him in the courtyard of our church. And three months later his wife passed away. Their “big mansion” stands empty. Christ is risen, Petrovich! Don’t think that I bear a grudge against you. After you refused, another man came and offered his help—he took the church reroofing on himself. This is how things work with God—if not you, then someone else. You already know that. Poor Petrovich, nobody remembers you, but I don’t forget you. https://preview.redd.it/4cofc1xj7f0d1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=9b38988d17339f1ee040045051c118eb8e9deac9 How many years have I served at the grave of a young mother’s child on Radonitsa. She crossed a pedestrian crossing in Moscow when the traffic light was green. But a jeep suddenly appeared, knocking the child down. There must have been a tiny news report about you that day. As I understand it, the jeep driver was acquitted. But it doesn’t matter now whether he was acquitted or not. A momentary incident, but the mother’s mental distress has not abated for four years, she is sick at heart, and she still wears black. How accustomed we are to these news reports: Someone has perished here, someone else has been killed in an explosion there, a plane crashed somewhere, etc. But all this means someone’s pain, tears, broken hearts, and orphaned children. Mother, Christ is risen, don’t cry and start praying for your girl. Help her, while you have some strength. There is a large marble slab with a portrait of a young man. Yuri worked at one of his father’s gas stations. About ten years ago, some drug addicts murdered him at work at night. I remember his mother weeping in church. We have a custom: If people make a contribution to the church in memory of their reposed loved one, order an icon, buy a candle stand or something like that, then we add the name of the person in question into our list for permanent commemoration. I offered the same to Yuri’s close ones. On hearing this, his mother stopped crying. She came up to me and said quietly: “Father, only don’t tell my husband. I’m afraid he won’t understand you.” It was only then that it dawned on me: If he left his son alone to work at the gas station at night without security, he really wouldn’t understand me. His family does not set foot in church anymore. Yuri, your closest ones betrayed you. But forgive them; You know, we don’t choose our parents. But I’m still wondering: How will they look into your eyes when you meet them in eternity? Nobody comes to your grave on Radonitsa, but I remember you, your placidness, and sometimes pray for you. But forget them all. Christ is Risen, Yuri—you and I will rejoice together. At the exit I met one of our believers from Moscow, who had buried her mother right around Pascha a year before. “Earlier I couldn’t go to the cemetery—I felt uneasy here. But now I can sit here next to my mother’s grave, talk to her, and I feel so good—I don’t want to go away,” she said. And we, Galochka, don’t “go away”. It only seems to us that the departed are somewhere far away from us, but in reality they are close, in our hearts, in our memory and our prayers. After all, and of course, you know it yourself, love (if we have it) does not disappear, even after death. Archpriest Alexander Dyachenko |
2024.05.14 18:43 magusmagma Am i autistic?
Lately I have been going through more issues with my health.
Fyi, i have Marfans, MVP, Fibromyalgia, Panic Disorder, Heart Palpitations, Frozen Shoulder, lower Back isues, crowded teeth, flat feet, joint pain, low energy.
Recently my mental abilities are getting worse. Sensitive, low pain tolerance, memory loss, slow information processing, brain fog, poor concentration, poor hand eye coordination, lack of eye contact, obsessive compulsive, lost in thoughts, cannot socialize. My wife has given up on me. I keep asking the same questions and i still can't follow. I am a teacher by profession. I lost my mother 2 years ago.
Please help.
submitted by magusmagma to adultautism [link] [comments]
Fyi, i have Marfans, MVP, Fibromyalgia, Panic Disorder, Heart Palpitations, Frozen Shoulder, lower Back isues, crowded teeth, flat feet, joint pain, low energy.
Recently my mental abilities are getting worse. Sensitive, low pain tolerance, memory loss, slow information processing, brain fog, poor concentration, poor hand eye coordination, lack of eye contact, obsessive compulsive, lost in thoughts, cannot socialize. My wife has given up on me. I keep asking the same questions and i still can't follow. I am a teacher by profession. I lost my mother 2 years ago.
Please help.
2024.05.14 18:42 ImaginationTop5017 Fair Counteroffer for Pain and Suffering
TL;DR Partner and I were involved in a car accident last year. We were fully stopped at a red light when two cars collided and smashed us at full speed. Accident was serve enough to deem all three cards totaled. We submitted Bodily Injury claim for my partner. We received ~$3000 in Pain and Suffering. Need help estimating a fair counteroffer.
Details below: Injuries: my partner had a concussion without loss of consciousness. His head, neck, and back were smashed. No broken bones. He went to the ER after the accident and had scans done. He was referred to physical therapy by a Primary Care Provider. After attending 6 physical therapy sessions, range of motion improved, but he is still suffering from pain 6 months later. After 2 months of physical therapy, he stopped as he was no longer benefiting from it and it was causing work interruptions, and continued doing PT exercise at home. He is having difficulty sleeping, and was not able to lift weights or engage in sports for all this period. Total medical bills is around $10,000 (mainly due to the high ER bill) which was covered by the car insurance Medical Coverage and personal health insurance. I was in the car too and suffered from minor injuries from the shattered glass and I was too afraid to drive for two months following the accident. Insurance company denied a bodily injury claim for me as I did not go to the EPCP, which, although inconvenient, is understandable.
Based on the medical treatment he received, they are offering a little less than $3000 in pain and suffering, and covered his lost wages for 3 days. However, we want to negotiate this offer as they did not fully take into account his current situation and the ongoing impact of the accident. Once we gave them more information, they acknowledged the impact of the accident on his daily life and have asked us to make a counteroffer.
Our hope is not to take advantage of the insurance company and try to benefit from this awful accident. However, we want to be fair to ourselves too. I understand insurance company cannot make us whole. However, we feel that $3000 is very low considering the pain he went through and the uncertainty of future recovery and this justifies a higher compensation. We are concerned that issues with neck and back can sometimes reappear years later and we will be left on our own once the claim is closed. I would appreciate your thoughts on a fair counteroffer amount? Note: We feel that perusing a lawyer at this stage is already late. This was our first car accident and weren't aware of the correct course of action early on. Thank you!
submitted by ImaginationTop5017 to Insurance [link] [comments]
Details below: Injuries: my partner had a concussion without loss of consciousness. His head, neck, and back were smashed. No broken bones. He went to the ER after the accident and had scans done. He was referred to physical therapy by a Primary Care Provider. After attending 6 physical therapy sessions, range of motion improved, but he is still suffering from pain 6 months later. After 2 months of physical therapy, he stopped as he was no longer benefiting from it and it was causing work interruptions, and continued doing PT exercise at home. He is having difficulty sleeping, and was not able to lift weights or engage in sports for all this period. Total medical bills is around $10,000 (mainly due to the high ER bill) which was covered by the car insurance Medical Coverage and personal health insurance. I was in the car too and suffered from minor injuries from the shattered glass and I was too afraid to drive for two months following the accident. Insurance company denied a bodily injury claim for me as I did not go to the EPCP, which, although inconvenient, is understandable.
Based on the medical treatment he received, they are offering a little less than $3000 in pain and suffering, and covered his lost wages for 3 days. However, we want to negotiate this offer as they did not fully take into account his current situation and the ongoing impact of the accident. Once we gave them more information, they acknowledged the impact of the accident on his daily life and have asked us to make a counteroffer.
Our hope is not to take advantage of the insurance company and try to benefit from this awful accident. However, we want to be fair to ourselves too. I understand insurance company cannot make us whole. However, we feel that $3000 is very low considering the pain he went through and the uncertainty of future recovery and this justifies a higher compensation. We are concerned that issues with neck and back can sometimes reappear years later and we will be left on our own once the claim is closed. I would appreciate your thoughts on a fair counteroffer amount? Note: We feel that perusing a lawyer at this stage is already late. This was our first car accident and weren't aware of the correct course of action early on. Thank you!
2024.05.14 18:30 rojasdracul Kass and Cilla (Beginning)
Day One:
‘Hey, did it work? Can you hear me?’ the tinny, female voice asked. All was dark, then, light. Slowly, his vision cleared and he saw the sky. The sun. Then, a small floating thing that bobbed and danced excitedly over him. ‘You're alive! Finally! I've been looking for you for a long time Guardian!’ that same voice said. It seemed to be coming directly into his ear from a speaker. He sat up and placed his hands on his head. A helmet was there. He began to gasp and panic, trying to remove it. ‘Hey, what are you doing? Calm down….’ the voice said. The helmet disappeared. He drew in a breath. The air was foul with a fetid undertone.
‘What the fuck? What are you? Where am I?’ He asked the thing which was now spinning and dancing in front of him. He coughed and placed his arm over his mouth. The stench was almost unbearable. The helmet rematerialized as soon as he moved his arm.
‘Sorry, but the air here is toxic. Not lethal, but not pleasant. Too many corpses rotting. I replaced the helmet to filter it. My name is Cilla, and I'm a Ghost. YOUR Ghost. I'll explain more about that later, but the long and short of it is you were dead for centuries and I brought you back.’ it said.
‘Dead? Centuries? Wait…. Why can't I remember anything from before I woke up here, who am I?’ He asked. ‘And what do you mean a ghost? Like you're also a dead person?’
‘No, Guardian. I'm more like a piece of the Light that brought you back. It's a long story and we will have time to go over it. Let's get you moving though. We are a long way from the city, and this area hasn't been patrolled or swept like ever. We need to move, who knows what kind of threats have been hiding here’ Cilla said.
‘Where is here, exactly? And which city?’ He asked as he stood up. He looked down and saw he was wearing a kind of robe like garment with gloves, pants, and armored boots. An armlet was fastened around his bicep. ‘And what the fuck am I wearing?’
‘This was once called Romania I think, these are the Carpathian mountains. At least that's what historical records I could find indicate. And you are wearing armor Guardian. You are a Warlock, which means you are powerful, curious, and capable of amazing things. Let's get moving. Seriously, this isn't a safe place. You did die here once already after all.’
He looked around. There wasn't much to see other than the wild beauty of a dark forest run wild that had retaken the civilization that was wiped out. It was haunting and lovely. But there was a hint of something….. dark. He looked down, and saw he was standing on a pile of bones in the remains of an old uniform. A piece of metal twinkled in the ruins of it's ribs. He bent and picked it up. As he brushed the dirt and grit off he asked the Ghost ‘Was this me?’
‘No, your body was reconstituted, that was the one you were on top of….’ She said. He looked down at the tag he had picked up. It read ‘Kassien’
‘Well, then they don't need the name anymore, and apparently I don't have one…. I guess you can call me Kassien instead of guardian.’ He said.
Cilla swooped. ‘Kassien! I like it!’ She said and spun in the air. Her voice was pleasant and slightly sultry. Weird. ‘Now let's move. There is the remains of an installation a few kilometers away. We probably won't find a ship there but maybe some weapons and a way to contact the city.’ she said.
‘OK, let's go. You can fill me in as we walk. First off, what's a Warlock?’ he said. He jumped down off of the mound he had awoken on, and was shocked to find himself gliding slowly down to the ground. ‘What the fuck, I can fly?’ he asked.
‘Not exactly’ Cilla said laughing a bit. ‘Warlocks can glide amongst other abilities. Let's cover the basics as we walk’ she said. And as he walked she explained about the Traveler, the Darkness, the collapse from the Golden Age, and the Guardians. By the time they reached the ancient military facility, he was reeling with it all.
‘So, I'm a space wizard?’ Kass asked. He looked at his hands and concentrated. She claimed he had this power of light flowing through him, and wanted to test it out. At first there was nothing, then, a bright ball of yellowish orange energy flickered into existence in his hand. In his shock he lost his focus and it exploded, taking his hand and lower arm with it. Blood was everywhere. The pain was searing and intense. ‘What the fuck!? Cilla!’ He shouted. She popped out if his backpack and floated there. She did nothing. He bled and the world turned black.
Then he was back. His arm was fine. There wasn't even a singed thread on his glove. ‘What just happened?’ Kass asked. He flexed his hand. No pain. He felt fantastic.
‘Well, you tried to use your power, formed a grenade, blew your own arm off, and bled to death…’ she said. There was a slight bit of humor in her voice. ‘Then I brought you back. I could have healed it, but I thought it best to get the whole ‘You are going to die over and over’ thing out of the way. That is part of the deal, boss. You can die again and again and it hurts every time, but I will always bring you back as long as I am not destroyed or the Light isn't choked off by the Darkness.’ she said.
‘That's kind of fucked up, but yeah, rip the bandage off I guess….’ he said sardonically. He walked over to the dark, gaping entrance and peered inside. ‘Don't suppose you know where we could find a light, do you?’ Cilla made no reply, but floated over his left shoulder and shot a focused beam of bright light into the darkness. ‘Nice, Cilla’
‘Thanks, Boss!’ she said and spun in the air. ‘I scanned the area, looks like there was an armory not too far inside. Maybe there are some guns left. We need a weapon or fifty.’
‘From what you told me about all the creatures here, yeah could be a good idea. Do guns kill them?’
‘Oh yeah, if there is one thing Guardians can't have enough of it's guns.’
‘OK, let's find some firepower.’ Kass said. They stepped inside, leaving the sunlight behind. That would be one of the worst mistakes Kass and Cilla made on that first day.
To be continued....
submitted by rojasdracul to DestinyJournals [link] [comments]
‘Hey, did it work? Can you hear me?’ the tinny, female voice asked. All was dark, then, light. Slowly, his vision cleared and he saw the sky. The sun. Then, a small floating thing that bobbed and danced excitedly over him. ‘You're alive! Finally! I've been looking for you for a long time Guardian!’ that same voice said. It seemed to be coming directly into his ear from a speaker. He sat up and placed his hands on his head. A helmet was there. He began to gasp and panic, trying to remove it. ‘Hey, what are you doing? Calm down….’ the voice said. The helmet disappeared. He drew in a breath. The air was foul with a fetid undertone.
‘What the fuck? What are you? Where am I?’ He asked the thing which was now spinning and dancing in front of him. He coughed and placed his arm over his mouth. The stench was almost unbearable. The helmet rematerialized as soon as he moved his arm.
‘Sorry, but the air here is toxic. Not lethal, but not pleasant. Too many corpses rotting. I replaced the helmet to filter it. My name is Cilla, and I'm a Ghost. YOUR Ghost. I'll explain more about that later, but the long and short of it is you were dead for centuries and I brought you back.’ it said.
‘Dead? Centuries? Wait…. Why can't I remember anything from before I woke up here, who am I?’ He asked. ‘And what do you mean a ghost? Like you're also a dead person?’
‘No, Guardian. I'm more like a piece of the Light that brought you back. It's a long story and we will have time to go over it. Let's get you moving though. We are a long way from the city, and this area hasn't been patrolled or swept like ever. We need to move, who knows what kind of threats have been hiding here’ Cilla said.
‘Where is here, exactly? And which city?’ He asked as he stood up. He looked down and saw he was wearing a kind of robe like garment with gloves, pants, and armored boots. An armlet was fastened around his bicep. ‘And what the fuck am I wearing?’
‘This was once called Romania I think, these are the Carpathian mountains. At least that's what historical records I could find indicate. And you are wearing armor Guardian. You are a Warlock, which means you are powerful, curious, and capable of amazing things. Let's get moving. Seriously, this isn't a safe place. You did die here once already after all.’
He looked around. There wasn't much to see other than the wild beauty of a dark forest run wild that had retaken the civilization that was wiped out. It was haunting and lovely. But there was a hint of something….. dark. He looked down, and saw he was standing on a pile of bones in the remains of an old uniform. A piece of metal twinkled in the ruins of it's ribs. He bent and picked it up. As he brushed the dirt and grit off he asked the Ghost ‘Was this me?’
‘No, your body was reconstituted, that was the one you were on top of….’ She said. He looked down at the tag he had picked up. It read ‘Kassien’
‘Well, then they don't need the name anymore, and apparently I don't have one…. I guess you can call me Kassien instead of guardian.’ He said.
Cilla swooped. ‘Kassien! I like it!’ She said and spun in the air. Her voice was pleasant and slightly sultry. Weird. ‘Now let's move. There is the remains of an installation a few kilometers away. We probably won't find a ship there but maybe some weapons and a way to contact the city.’ she said.
‘OK, let's go. You can fill me in as we walk. First off, what's a Warlock?’ he said. He jumped down off of the mound he had awoken on, and was shocked to find himself gliding slowly down to the ground. ‘What the fuck, I can fly?’ he asked.
‘Not exactly’ Cilla said laughing a bit. ‘Warlocks can glide amongst other abilities. Let's cover the basics as we walk’ she said. And as he walked she explained about the Traveler, the Darkness, the collapse from the Golden Age, and the Guardians. By the time they reached the ancient military facility, he was reeling with it all.
‘So, I'm a space wizard?’ Kass asked. He looked at his hands and concentrated. She claimed he had this power of light flowing through him, and wanted to test it out. At first there was nothing, then, a bright ball of yellowish orange energy flickered into existence in his hand. In his shock he lost his focus and it exploded, taking his hand and lower arm with it. Blood was everywhere. The pain was searing and intense. ‘What the fuck!? Cilla!’ He shouted. She popped out if his backpack and floated there. She did nothing. He bled and the world turned black.
Then he was back. His arm was fine. There wasn't even a singed thread on his glove. ‘What just happened?’ Kass asked. He flexed his hand. No pain. He felt fantastic.
‘Well, you tried to use your power, formed a grenade, blew your own arm off, and bled to death…’ she said. There was a slight bit of humor in her voice. ‘Then I brought you back. I could have healed it, but I thought it best to get the whole ‘You are going to die over and over’ thing out of the way. That is part of the deal, boss. You can die again and again and it hurts every time, but I will always bring you back as long as I am not destroyed or the Light isn't choked off by the Darkness.’ she said.
‘That's kind of fucked up, but yeah, rip the bandage off I guess….’ he said sardonically. He walked over to the dark, gaping entrance and peered inside. ‘Don't suppose you know where we could find a light, do you?’ Cilla made no reply, but floated over his left shoulder and shot a focused beam of bright light into the darkness. ‘Nice, Cilla’
‘Thanks, Boss!’ she said and spun in the air. ‘I scanned the area, looks like there was an armory not too far inside. Maybe there are some guns left. We need a weapon or fifty.’
‘From what you told me about all the creatures here, yeah could be a good idea. Do guns kill them?’
‘Oh yeah, if there is one thing Guardians can't have enough of it's guns.’
‘OK, let's find some firepower.’ Kass said. They stepped inside, leaving the sunlight behind. That would be one of the worst mistakes Kass and Cilla made on that first day.
To be continued....
2024.05.14 18:22 ProgrammerAshamed144 Boomer demands wifi
I'm currently sitting in a waiting room at a dealership while my car is being serviced.
As soon as I walk in, I make eye contact with a woman already sitting in the waiting room and I say "Goodmorning!" She responds with a disappointing growl, which I can only assume is disapproval of my mask or the Nintendo switch tucked under my arm (this service was quoted as 3 hours minimum).
After about 20 minutes of waiting in silence, she asks if I know the wifi password. I tell her I do not, but it should be posted nearby. I scan the walls, and see the wifi password. Trying to be kind, I get up and walk over to the paper and tell her what the password is (its the name of the dealership in all lower case, one word).
Feeling like I did her a favor, I return to my seat happy, smiling under my mask. Pop my headphones back in and continue to play my Switch in peace.
After 2 minutes or so, the woman is visibly frustrated and yells that I gave her the wrong password.
So she gets up and makes her way to the listed paper. After a short period of standing there, she throws her purse on a nearby seat and digs through her purse. I turned down the volume and could hear her rambling something about a rude asshole. She finally finds her glasses, puts them on, then stares at the paper and in an overly animated and exaggerated fashion she inputs the password again into her phone.
She returns to her seat, visibly PISSED. She then tells me I'm rude for not putting the password in for her and that it doesn't work (not sure why she thinks me putting it in would be any different if she was convinced the password was wrong)
So at this point I'm left with a few options. I could ask for her phone and assist her, but at this point I would rather be the rude asshole she has decided that I am. So I say "skill issue" and turn my volume back up.
As I type this out I can see her in my peripheral shifting around and clearly upset. No one else in the waiting room so far, but if someone else comes I'll be sure to turn down the volume and listen to whatever lovely version of events she tries to turn this into.
submitted by ProgrammerAshamed144 to BoomersBeingFools [link] [comments]
As soon as I walk in, I make eye contact with a woman already sitting in the waiting room and I say "Goodmorning!" She responds with a disappointing growl, which I can only assume is disapproval of my mask or the Nintendo switch tucked under my arm (this service was quoted as 3 hours minimum).
After about 20 minutes of waiting in silence, she asks if I know the wifi password. I tell her I do not, but it should be posted nearby. I scan the walls, and see the wifi password. Trying to be kind, I get up and walk over to the paper and tell her what the password is (its the name of the dealership in all lower case, one word).
Feeling like I did her a favor, I return to my seat happy, smiling under my mask. Pop my headphones back in and continue to play my Switch in peace.
After 2 minutes or so, the woman is visibly frustrated and yells that I gave her the wrong password.
So she gets up and makes her way to the listed paper. After a short period of standing there, she throws her purse on a nearby seat and digs through her purse. I turned down the volume and could hear her rambling something about a rude asshole. She finally finds her glasses, puts them on, then stares at the paper and in an overly animated and exaggerated fashion she inputs the password again into her phone.
She returns to her seat, visibly PISSED. She then tells me I'm rude for not putting the password in for her and that it doesn't work (not sure why she thinks me putting it in would be any different if she was convinced the password was wrong)
So at this point I'm left with a few options. I could ask for her phone and assist her, but at this point I would rather be the rude asshole she has decided that I am. So I say "skill issue" and turn my volume back up.
As I type this out I can see her in my peripheral shifting around and clearly upset. No one else in the waiting room so far, but if someone else comes I'll be sure to turn down the volume and listen to whatever lovely version of events she tries to turn this into.
2024.05.14 18:08 Mophandel Archaeotherium, the King of the White River Badlands
 | Art by Bob Nicholls submitted by Mophandel to badassanimals [link] [comments] Nowadays, when we envision the words “prey,” among modern mammalian fauna, few taxa come to mind as quickly as the hoofed mammals, better known as the ungulates. Indeed, for the better part of their entire evolutionary history, the ungulates have become entirely indistinguishable from the term “prey.” Across their two major modern branches, the artiodactyls (the “even-toed ungulates,” such as bovids, pigs, deer, hippos and giraffes) and the perissodactyls (the “odd-toed ungulates,” including horses, rhinos and tapir), the ungulates too have created an empire spanning nearly every continent, establishing themselves as the the dominant herbivores throughout their entire range. However, as a price for such success, their lot as herbivores have forced them into an unenviable position: being the food for the predators. Indeed, throughout the diets of most modern predators, ungulates make up the majority, if not the entirety, of their diet, becoming their counterparts in this evolutionary dance of theirs. They have become the lamb to their wolf, the zebra to their lion, the stag to their tiger. If there is a predator in need of lunch, chances are that there is an ungulate there to provide it. Of course, such a dynamic is not necessarily a recent innovation. For the last 15-20 million years, across much of the world, both new and old, the ungulates have served as prey for these predators through it all. Over the course of whole epochs, these two groups have played into these roles for millions of years, coevolving with each other in an eons-long game of cat-and-mouse. The shoes they fill are not new, but have existed for ages, and within their niches they have cultivated their roles to perfection. Indeed, with such a tenured history, it seems hardly surprising the ungulates are wholly inseparable from the terms “prey,” itself. However, while this is the case now, as it has been for the last 15-20 million years, go back far enough, and we see that this dynamic is not as set in stone as we would think. Indeed, back during the Eocene and Oligocene, during the very earliest days of age of mammals, things were very different for the ungulates. While today they are considered little more than food for modern predators, during these olden days, the ungulates weren’t quite so benign. In fact, far from being fodder for top predators, the ungulates had turned the tables, instead becoming top predators themselves. Indeed, though nearly unheard of today, throughout much of the Eocene and Oligocene, carnivorous ungulates thrived in abundance, developing specializations for catching large prey and establishing themselves as top predators that competed alongside the more traditional carnivores, and even dominating them in some instances. Given such success, it’s no wonder that multiple such clades had arisen during this time. Such predators included the arctocyonids, a lineage of (ironically) hoof-less ungulates with large jaws and sharp teeth for capturing large prey. There were also the mesonychians, a lineage of dog-like ungulates with massive skulls and jaws that allowed them to reign as the top predator across much of the Eocene. However, among these various lineages, one stands stands out among the rest, by far. Arising during the Eocene, this lineage, though superficially resembling modern pigs, hailed from one an ancient lineage of artiodactyls far removed from swine or most other ungulates in general, with few close relatives alive today. Through perhaps not the most predatory of the bunch, it was among the most formidable, as their superficially pig-like appearance came with giant predatory jaws and teeth unlike anything from the modern era. And of course, as if all of that wasn’t enough, this lineage also went on to earn arguably one of the most badass nicknames of any lineage of mammals, period. These predators, of course, were the entelodonts, a.k.a the “hell-pigs.” More so than any other predatory ungulate lineage, these formidable ungulates were the ones to turn the current paradigm upside down, becoming some of the largest and most dominant carnivores in their landscape, even with (and often in spite of) the presence of more traditional predators. Through impressive size, fearsome teeth and sheer tenacity, these animals became the top dogs of their time, ruling as behemoth-kings of their Paleogene kingdoms, domineering all comers, and throughout the ranks, one entelodont in particular demonstrated such dominance the best. Though not the largest or most powerful of their kind, it is one of the most iconic, being among the most well-known members of its lineage to date. Moreover, this enteledont also has some of the most complete life histories ever seen out of this clade, with its brutality and predatory prowess being displayed in the fossil record in a way seen in no other member of its kind. More than anything else, however, it was this predator that best turned the notion of “ungulates being prey” on its head, living in an environment that bore some of the largest carnivoran hypercarnivores to date and still reigning as the undisputed top predator of its domain. This fearsome beast was none other than Archaeotherium, icon of the entelodonts, terror of the Oligocene American west and undisputed king of the White River badlands. The rise of Archaeotherium (and of entelodonts in general) is closely tied to the ascendancy of carnivorous ungulates as a whole, one of the earliest evolutionary success stories of the entire Cenozoic. Having become their own derived clade since the late Cretaceous, the ungulates were remarkably successful during the early Paleogene, as they were among the first mammalian clades to reach large sizes during those early days after the non-avian dinosaurs had gone extinct. As such, it was with incredible swiftness that, as the Paleogene progressed, the ungulates swooped upon the various niches left empty by the K-Pg mass extinction that killed the dinosaurs. This of course included the herbivorous niches we would know them for today, but this also included other, much more carnivore roles. Indeed, early on during the Paleogene, it was the ungulates that first seized the roles of large mammalian predators, becoming some the earliest large mammalian carnivores to ever live, well before even the carnivorans. Such predators included the arctocyonids, a lineage of vaguely dog-like, hoof-less ungulates with robust jaws and sharpened teeth that acted as some of earliest large carnivores of the Paleocene, with genera such as Arctocyon mumak getting up to the size of big cats. Even more prolific were the mesonychids. More so than what pretty much any other lineage of predator, it was the mesonychids that would stand out as the earliest dominant predators of the early Cenozoic. Growing up to the size of bears and with enormous, bone-crushing jaws, the mesonychids were among the most powerful and successful predators on the market at that time, with a near-global range and being capable of subjugating just about any other predator in their environments. Indeed, they, along with other carnivorous ungulates (as well as ungulates in general), were experiencing a golden age during this time, easily being the most prolific predators of the age. Given such prevalence, it should be no surprise that there would be yet another lineage of predatory ungulates would throw their hat into the ring, and by early Eocene, that contender would none other than the entelodonts. The very first entelodonts had arisen from artiodactyl ancestors during the Eocene epoch, at a time when artiodactyls were far more diverse and bizarre than they are now. Through today known from their modern herbivorous representatives such as bovines, deer, and antelope, during the Paleocene and Eocene, the artiodacyls, as with most ungulates of that time, were stronger and far more predaceous, particularly when it came to one such clade of artiodactyls, the cetacodontamorphs. Only known today from hippos and another group of artiodactyls (one which will become relevant later), the cetacodantomorphs emerged out of Asia around 55 million years ago, at around the same time that artiodactyls themselves had made their debut. These animals included the first truly predatory artiodactyls, with many of them possessing large skulls with powerful jaws and sharp, predatory teeth. Among their ranks included animals as puny as Indohyus, a piscivorous artiodactyl the size of a cat, to as formidable as Andrewsarchus, a giant, bison-sized predator often touted as one of the largest predatory mammals to ever live. Given such a predatory disposition, it wouldn’t be long until this clade produced a lineage of truly diverse, truly successful predators, and by around 40 million years ago, that is exactly what they did, as it was at that time that the entelodonts themselves first emerged. From their Asian homeland, the entelodonts spread across the world, spreading through not only most of Eurasia but also colonizing North America as well, with genera such as Brachyhyops being found across both continents. Here, in this North American frontier, the entelodonts began to diversify further, turning into their most successful and formidable forms yet, and it was around the late Eocene and early Oligocene that Archaeotherium itself had entered the scene. Just from a passing glance at Archaeotherium, it is clear how exactly it (as well as the other entelodonts) earned the nickname of “hell-pigs.” It was a bruiser for starters; its body bore a robust, pig-like physique, with prominent neural spines and their associated musculature forming a hump around the shoulder region, similar to the hump of a bison. With such a bulky physique came with it impressive size; the average A. mortoni had a head-body length of roughly 1.6-2.0 m (5.3-6.6 ft), a shoulder height of 1.2 m (4 ft) and a body mass of around 180 kg (396 lb) in weight (Boardman & Secord, 2013; Joeckel, 1990). At such sizes, an adult Archaeotherium the size of a large male black bear. However, they had the potential to get even bigger. While most Archaeotherium specimens were around the size described above, a select few specimens, labeled under the synonymous genus “Megachoerus,” are found to be much larger, with skulls getting up to 66% longer than average A. mortoni specimens (Foss, 2001; Joeckel, 1990). At such sizes and using isometric scaling, such massive Archaeotherium specimens would attained body lengths over 2.5 m (8.2 ft) and would have reached weighs well over 500 kg (1100 lb), or as big as a mature male polar bear. Indeed, at such sizes, it is already abundantly evident that Archaeotherium is a force to be recorded with. However, there was more to these formidable animals than sheer size alone. Behind all that bulk was an astoundingly swift and graceful predator, especially in terms of locomotion. Indeed, the hoofed feet of Archaeotherium, along with other entelodonts, sported several adaptations that gave it incredible locomotive efficiency, essentially turning it into a speed demon of the badlands. Such adaptations include longer distal leg elements (e.g. the radius and tibia) than their proximal counterparts (e.g. the humerus and femur), fusion of the radius and ulna for increased running efficiency, the loss of the clavicle (collar-bone) to allow for greater leg length, the loss of the acromion to enhance leg movement along the fore-and-aft plane, the loss of digits to reduce the mass of the forelimb, the fusion of the ectocuneiform and the mesocuneiform wrist-bones, among many other such traits (Theodore, 1996) . Perhaps most significant of these adaptations is the evolution of the “double-pulley astragalus (ankle-bone),” a specialized modification of the ankle that, while restricting rotation and side-to-side movement at the ankle-joint, allows for greater rotation in the fore-and-aft direction, thus allowing for more more powerful propulsion from the limbs, faster extension and retraction of the limbs and overall greater locomotive efficiency (Foss, 2001). Of course, such a trait was not only found in entelodonts but in artiodactyls as a whole, likely being a response to predatory pressures from incumbent predatory clades arising at the same time as the artiodactyls (Foss, 2001). However, in the case of the entelodonts, such adaptations were not used for merely escaping predators. Rather, they were used to for another, much more lethal effect… Such notions are further reinforced by the entelodonts most formidable aspect, none either than their fearsome jaws, and in this respect, Archaeotherium excelled. Both for its size and in general, the head of Archaeotherium was massive, measuring 40-50 cm (1.3-1.6 ft) in length among average A. mortoni specimens, to up to 78 cm (~2.6 ft) in the larger “Megachoerus” specimens (Joeckel, 1990). Such massive skulls were supported and supplemented by equally massive neck muscles and ligaments, which attached to massive neural spines on the anterior thoracic vertebrae akin to a bisons hump as well as to the sternum, allowing Archaeotherium to keep its head aloft despite the skulls massive size (Effinger, 1998). Of course, with such a massive skull, it should come as no surprise that such skulls housed exceptionally formidable jaws as well, and indeed, the bite of Archaeotherium was an especially deadly one. Its zygomatic arches (cheek-bones) and its temporal fossa were enlarged and expanded, indicative of massive temporalis muscles that afforded Archaeotherium astoundingly powerful bites (Joeckel, 1990). This is further augmented by Archaeotherium’s massive jugal flanges (bony projections of the cheek), which supported powerful masseter muscles which enhanced chewing and mastication, as well as an enlarged postorbital bar that reinforced the skull against torsional stresses (Foss, 2001). Last but not least, powerful jaws are supplemented by an enlarged gape, facilitated by a low coronoid process and enlarged posterior mandibular tubercles (bony projections originating from the lower jaw), which provided an insertion site for sternum-to-mandible jaw abduction muscles, allowing for a more forceful opening of the jaw (Foss, 2001). All together, such traits suggest a massive and incredibly fearsome bite, perhaps the most formidable of any animal in its environment. Of course, none of such traits are especially indicative of a predatory lifestyle. Indeed, many modern non-predatory ungulates, like hippos, pigs and peccaries, also possess large, formidable skulls and jaws. However, in peeling back the layers, it is found there was more to the skull of Archaeotherium that lies in store. Indeed, when inspecting the animal closely, a unique mosaic of features is revealed; traits that make it out to be much more lethal than the average artiodactyl. On one hand, Archaeotherium possessed many traits similar to those of herbivores animals, as is expected of ungulates. For instance, its jaw musculature that allowed the lower jaw of Archaeotherium a full side-to-side chewing motion as in herbivores (whereas most carnivores can only move their lower jaw up and down)(Effinger, 1998). On the other hand, Archaeotherium wielded many other traits far more lethal in their morphology, less akin to a herbivore and far more akin to a bonafide predator. For instance, the aforementioned enlarged gape of Archaeotherium is a bizarre trait on a supposed herbivore, as such animals do not need large gapes to eat vegetation and thus have smaller, more restricted gapes. Conversely, many predatory lineages have comparatively large gapes, as larger gapes allow for the the jaws to grab on to more effectively larger objects, namely large prey animals (Joeckel, 1990). Such a juxtaposition, however, is most evident when discussing the real killing instruments of Archaeotherium — the teeth. More so than any facet of this animal, the teeth of Archaeotherium are the real stars of the show, showing both how alike it was compared to its herbivores counterparts and more importantly, how it couldn’t be more different. For instance, the molars of Archaeotherium were quite similar to modern herbivores ungulates, in that they were robust, bunodont, and were designed for crushing and grinding, similar in form and function to modern ungulates like peccaries (Joeckel, 1990). However, while the molars give the impression that Archaeotherium was a herbivore, the other teeth tell a very different story. The incisors, for example, were enlarged, sharpened, and fully interlocked (as opposed to the flat-topped incisors seen in herbivores ungulates), creating an incisor array that was seemingly ill-suited for cropping vegetation and much more adept at for gripping, puncturing and cutting (Joeckel, 1990). Even more formidable were the canines. Like the modern pigs from which entelodonts derived their nicknames, the canines of Archaeotherium were sharp and enlarged to form prominent tusk-like teeth, but unlike pigs, they were rounded in cross-section (similar to modern carnivores like big cats, indicating more durable canines that can absorb and resist torsional forces, such as those from struggling prey) and were serrated to form a distinct cutting edge (Effinger, 1998; Joeckel, 1990; Ruff & Van Valkenburgh, 1987). These canines, along with the incisors, interlock to stabilize the jaws while biting and dismantling in a carnivore-like fashion. More strikingly, the canines also seem to act as “occlusal guides,” wherein the canines help align the movement and position of the rear teeth as they come together, allowing for a more efficient shearing action by the rear teeth. This function is seen most prevalently modern carnivorous mammals, and is evidenced by the canine tooth-wear, which is also analogous to modern predators like bears and canids (Joeckel, 1990). Indeed, going off such teeth alone, it is clear that Archaeotherium is far more predatory than expected of an ungulate. However, the real stars of the show, the teeth that truly betray the predatory nature of these ungulates, are the premolars. Perhaps the most carnivore-like teeth in the entelodont’s entire tooth row, the premolars of Archaeotherium, particularly the anterior premolars, are laterally compressed, somewhat conical in shape, and are weakly serrated to bear a cutting edge, giving them a somewhat carnivorous form and function of shearing and slicing (Effinger, 1998). Most strikingly of all, the premolars of Archaeotherium bear unique features similar not to modern herbivores, but to durophagous carnivores like hyenas, particularly apical wear patterns, highly thickened enamel, “zigzag-shaped” enamel prism layers (Hunter-Schraeger bands) on the premolars which is also seen in osteophagous animals like hyenas, and an interlocking premolar interface wherein linear objects (such as bones) inserted into jaws from the side would be pinned between the premolars and crushed (Foss, 2001). Taken together, these features do not suggest a diet of grass or vegetation like other ungulates. Rather, they suggest a far more violent diet, one including flesh as well as hard, durable foods, particularly bone. All in all, the evidence is clear. Archaeotherium and other entelodonts, unlike the rest of their artiodactyl kin, were not the passive herbivores as we envision ungulates today. Rather, they were willing, unrepentant meat-eaters that had a taste for flesh as well as foliage. Of course, even with such lines of evidence, its hard to conclude that Archaeotherium was a true predator. After all, its wide gape and durophagous teeth could have just as easily been used for scavenging or even to eat tough plant matter such as seeds or nuts, as in peccaries and pigs, which themselves share many of the same adaptations as Archaeotherium, include the more carnivorous ones (e.g. the wide gape, using the canines as an occlusal guide, etc.). How exactly do we know that these things were veritable predators and not pretenders to the title. To this end, there is yet one last piece of evidence, one that puts on full display the predatory prowess of Archaeotherium —evidence of a kill itself. Found within oligocene-aged sediment in what is now Wyoming, a collection of various fossil remains was found, each belonging to the ancient sheep-sized camel Poebrotherium, with many of the skeletal remains being disarticulated and even missing whole hindlimbs or even entire rear halves of their body. Tellingly, many of the remains bear extensive bite marks and puncture wounds across their surface. Upon close examination, the spacing and size of the punctures leave only one culprit: Archaeotherium. Of course, such an event could still have been scavenging; the entelodonts were consuming the remains of already dead, decomposed camels, explaining the bite marks. What was far more telling, however, was where the bite marks were found. In addition bite marks being found on the torso and lumbar regions of the camels, various puncture wounds were found on the skull and neck, which were otherwise uneaten. Scavengers rarely feast on the head to begin with; there is very little worthwhile meat on it besides the brain, cheek-muscles and eyes, and even if they did feed on the skull and neck, they would still eat it wholesale, not merely bite it and then leave it otherwise untouched. Indeed, it was clear that this was no mere scavenging event. Rather than merely consuming these camels, Archaeotherium was actively preying upon and killing them, dispatching them via a crushing bite to the skull or neck before dismembering and even bisecting the hapless camels with their powerful jaws to preferentially feast on their hindquarters (likely by swallowing the hindquarters whole, as the pelvis of Poebrotherium was coincidentally the perfect width for Archaeotherium to devour whole), eventually discarding the leftovers in meat caches for later consumption (Sundell, 1999). With this finding, such a feat of brutality leaves no doubt in ones mind as to what the true nature of Archaeotherium was. This was no herbivore, nor was it a simple scavenger. This was an active, rapacious predator, the most powerful in its entire ecosystem. Indeed, with such brutal evidence of predation frozen in time, combined with various dental, cranial, and post cranial adaptations of this formidable animal, it’s possible to paint a picture of how this formidable creature lived. Though an omnivore by trade, willing and able to feast on plant matter such as grass, roots and tubers, Archaeotherium was also a wanton predator that took just about any prey it wanted. Upon detecting its prey, it approached its vicim from ambush before launching itself at blazing speed. From there, its cursorial, hoofed legs, used by other ungulates for escape predation, were here employed to capture prey, carrying it at great speeds as it caught up to its quarry. Having closed the distance with its target, it was then that the entelodont brought its jaws to bear, grabbing hold of the victim with powerful jaws and gripping teeth to bring it to a screeching halt. If the victim is lucky, Archaeotherium will then kill it quickly with a crushing bite to the skull or neck, puncturing the brain or spinal cord and killing its target instantly. If not, the victim is eaten alive, torn apart while it’s still kicking, as modern boars will do today. In any case, incapacitated prey are subsequently dismantled, with the entelodont using its entire head and heavily-muscled necks to bite into and pull apart its victim in devastating “puncture-and pull’ bites (Foss, 2001). Prey would then finally be consumed starting at the hindquarters, with not even the bones of its prey being spared. Such brutality, though far from clean, drove home a singular truth: that during this time, ungulates were not just prey, that they were not the mere “predator-fodder” we know them as today. rather, they themselves were the predators themselves, dominating as superb hunters within their domain and even suppressing clades we know as predators today, least of all the carnivorans. Indeed, during this point in time, the age of the carnivorous ungulates had hit their stride, and more specifically, the age of entelodonts had begun. Of course, more so than any other entelodont, Archaeotherium took to this new age with gusto. Archaeotherium lived from 35-28 million years ago during the late Eocene and early Oligocene in a locality known today as the White River Badlands, a fossil locality nestled along the Great Plains and Rocky Mountains. Though a chalky, barren landscape today, during the time of Archaeotherium, the White River Badlands was a swamp-like floodplain crisscrossed with rivers and interspersed with by a mosaic of forests concentrated around waterways, open woodlands and open plains. As with most ecosystems with such a lush disposition, this locale teemed with life, with ancient hornless rhinos, small horse-like hyracodonts and early camels roaming the open habitats while giant brontotheres, small early horses and strange, sheep-like ungulates called merycoidodonts (also known as “oreodonts”) dwelled within the dense forests. Within this locale, Archaeotherium stalked the open woodlands and riparian forests of its domain. Here, it acted as a dominant predator and scavenger across is territory, filling a niche similar to modern grizzly bears but far more predatory. Among its preferred food items would be plant matter such as roots, foliage and nuts, but also meat in the form of carrion or freshly caught prey. In this respect, smaller ungulates such as the fleet-footed camel Poebrotherium, a known prey item of Archaeotherium, would have made a for choice prey, as its small size would make it easy for Archaeotherium to dispatch with its powerful jaws, while the entelodonts swift legs gave it the speed necessary to keep pace with its agile prey. However, the entelodont didn’t have such a feast all to itself. Just as the badlands teemed with herbivores, so too did it teem with rival predators. Among their ranks included fearsome predators such as Hyaenodon, a powerful, vaguely dog-like predator up to the size of wolves (as in H. horridus) or even lions (as in the Eocene-aged H. megaloides, which was replaced by H. horridus during the Oligocene). Armed with a massive head, fierce jaws and a set of knife-like teeth that could cut down even large prey in seconds, these were some of the most formidable predators on the landscape. There were also the nimravids, cat-like carnivorans that bore saber-teeth to kill large prey in seconds, and included the likes of the lynx-sized Dinictis, the leopard-sized Hoplophoneus and even the jaguar-sized Eusmilus. Furthermore, there were amphicyonids, better known as the bear-dogs. Though known from much larger forms later on in their existence, during the late Eocene and Oligocene, they were much smaller and acted as the “canid-analogues” of the ecosystem, filling a role similar to wolves or coyotes. Last but not least, there were the bathornithid birds, huge cariamiform birds related to modern seriemas but much larger, which filled a niche similar to modern seriemas or secretary birds, albeit on a much larger scale. Given such competition, it would seem that Archaeotherium would have its hands full. However, things are not as they appear. For starters, habitat differences would mitigate high amounts of competition, as both Hyaenodon and the various nimravids occupy more specialized ecological roles (being a plains-specialist and forest-specialist, respectively) than did Archaeotherium, providing a buffer to stave off competition: More importantly, however, none of the aforementioned predators were simply big enough to take Archaeotherium on. During the roughly 7 million years existence of Archaeotherium, the only carnivore that matched it in size was H. megaloides, and even that would have an only applied to average A. mortoni individuals, not to the much larger, bison-sized “Megachoerus” individuals. The next largest predator at that point would be the jaguars-sized Eusmilus (specifically E. adelos) which would have only been a bit more than half the size of even an average A. mortoni. Besides that, virtually every other predator on the landscape was simply outclassed by the much larger entelodont in terms of size and brute strength. As such, within its domain, Archaeotherium had total, unquestioned authority, dominating the other predators in the landscape and likely stealing their kills as well. In fact, just about the only threat Archaeotherium had was other Archaeotherium, as fossil bite marks suggest that this animal regularly and fraglantly engaged in intraspecific combat, usually through face-biting and possibly even jaw-wrestling (Effinger, 1998; Tanke & Currie, 1998). Nevertheless, it was clear that Archaeotherium was the undisputed king of the badlands; in a landscape of hyaenodonts and carnivorans galore, it was a hoofed ungulate that reigned supreme. However, such a reign would not last. As the Eocene transitioned into the Eocene, the planet underwent an abrupt cooling and drying phase known as Eocene-Oligocene Transition or more simply the Grande Coupure. This change in climate would eliminate the sprawling wetlands and river systems that Archaeotherium had been depending on, gradually replacing it with drier and more open habitats. To its credit, Archaeotherium did manage to hang on, persisting well after the Grand-Coupure had taken place, but in the end the damage had been done; Archaeotherium was a dead-man-walking. Eventually, by around 28 million years ago, Archaeotherium would go extinct, perishing due to this change in global climate (Gillham, 2019). Entelodonts as a whole would persist into the Miocene, producing some of their largest forms ever known in the form of the bison-sized Daeodon (which was itself even more carnivorous than Archaeotherium), however they too would meet the same fate as their earlier cousins. By around 15-20 million years ago, entelodonts as a whole would go extinct. However, while the entelodonts may have perished, this was not the end of carnivorous ungulates as a whole. Recall that the cetacodontamorphs, the lineage of artiodactyls that produced the entelodonts, left behind two living descendants. The first among them were the hippos, themselves fairly frequent herbivores. The second of such lineage, however, was a different story. Emerging out of South Asia, this lineage of piscivorous cetacodontamorphs, in a an attempt to further specialize for the fish-hunting lifestyle, began to delve further and further into the water, becoming more and more aquatic and the millennia passed by. At a certain point, these carnivorous artiodactlys had become something completely unrecognizable from their original hoofed forms. Their skin became hairless and their bodies became streamlined for life in water. Their hoofed limbs grew into giant flippers for steering in the water and their previously tiny tails became massive and sported giant tail flukes for aquatic propulsion. Their noses even moved to the tip of their head, becoming a blowhole that would be signature to this clade as a whole. Indeed, this clade was none other than the modern whales, themselves derived, carnivorous ungulates that had specialized for a life in the water, and in doing so, became the some of the most dominant aquatic predators across the globe for millions of years. Indeed, though long gone, the legacy of the entelodonts and of predatory ungulates as a whole, a legacy Archaeotherium itself had helped foster, lives on in these paragons of predatory prowess, showing that the ungulates are more than just the mere “prey” that they are often made out to be. Moreover, given the success that carnivorous ungulates had enjoyed in the past and given how modern omnivorous ungulates like boar dabble in predation themselves, perhaps, in the distant future, this planet may see the rise of carnivorous ungulates once again, following in the footsteps left behind by Archaeotherium and the other predatory ungulates all those millions of years ago. |
2024.05.14 18:05 ReasonableAnimal8417 Skin-Surface Tingling & Numbness Inner Left Thigh
For a little bit more context; this sensation has been happening for about 4 days at this point.
Male. Age: 30, weight 145. Vegan and moderately active with good blood pressure and no prior history of injury or illness (but I work a desk job)
Onset happened after I fell asleep on the couch with my legs criss-crossed (monk style) for several hours. Upon waking up my saddle area was very sore and I had pins and needles. Went away initially after walking around and stretching.
Day later and up until today, every time I sit down whether it’s on the couch or my ergonomic office chair I get a strange skin-surface prickling feeling on the inside of my left thigh near the groin and down to mid-thigh.
The sensation goes away immediately if I stand up or lay down in a supine position. I have no weakness in the leg as far as I can tell and no changes to my gait.
No pain either, just a weird tingling that almost reminds me of the feeling of getting your leg hair compressed by a weird fabric or when wearing skinny jeans. And again ONLY when sitting.
The Internet keeps recommending me neuralgia parasthetica but it is very specifically not that. It only occurs on the inside and back of my thigh not the top or outside.
Looking for any advice and possibly a recommendation for a certain specialist I should see and if whether or not it’s urgent enough to go to ER.
submitted by ReasonableAnimal8417 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
Male. Age: 30, weight 145. Vegan and moderately active with good blood pressure and no prior history of injury or illness (but I work a desk job)
Onset happened after I fell asleep on the couch with my legs criss-crossed (monk style) for several hours. Upon waking up my saddle area was very sore and I had pins and needles. Went away initially after walking around and stretching.
Day later and up until today, every time I sit down whether it’s on the couch or my ergonomic office chair I get a strange skin-surface prickling feeling on the inside of my left thigh near the groin and down to mid-thigh.
The sensation goes away immediately if I stand up or lay down in a supine position. I have no weakness in the leg as far as I can tell and no changes to my gait.
No pain either, just a weird tingling that almost reminds me of the feeling of getting your leg hair compressed by a weird fabric or when wearing skinny jeans. And again ONLY when sitting.
The Internet keeps recommending me neuralgia parasthetica but it is very specifically not that. It only occurs on the inside and back of my thigh not the top or outside.
Looking for any advice and possibly a recommendation for a certain specialist I should see and if whether or not it’s urgent enough to go to ER.
2024.05.14 18:03 Psychics4U_net The Fool Tarot Card Meaning: [The Complete Guide]
This complete guide on The Fool tarot card is brought to you by psychics4u.net. For more valuable information, insights and resources, visit: http://psychics4u.net/
What does the fool mean in the tarot cards? The fool is the most wild tarot card in the deck that you can ever get in a psychic reading. The meaning of the fool tarot card is all about new beginnings, a journey which is usually spiritual and fast change. It indicates that things are really going to go forward for you whether it’s love, relationship, money, work, career and health. But all of these good predictions will come true, only if you will believe in yourself and take calculated risks.
If you are interested in learning everything about the meaning of the fool’s journey tarot card, you came to the right place. Keep on reading till the end of this guide as you will find here lots of useful information regarding to:
When we take a first look at the art of fool’s journey tarot card, we immediately notice the bright yellow sun light, the worm rays, the orange – yellow sky and the lite brown ground. The fool has loose and comfortable clothes with flowers patterns on them, mostly yellow which also matches the shoes` shade. Yellow symbolize enlightenment, happy feelings and positive energies.
The fool is ready to take the leap of faith – start a journey to the unknown territory. He doesn’t care if he will encounter obstacles down the road or dangerous situations in the way. He is ready to go no matter what will happen. In fact the fool doesn’t even think about the meaning these problems.
The fool doesn’t care too much about the material world. He collected just the necessary items and packed all his little possessions in a small bag, holding it with his right hand. On the left hand he is holding a beautiful white rose. It means the willingness to scarify and devotion to the spiritual path of life.
Look at his face directed forward and up to the sky, they are full of inspiration, vision and confidence in the current moment. He is free of fear but also innocence because he isn’t aware of the fact that bad things might happen during the unknown journey.
He is standing on the hill, one step before the deadly abyss, caught in the moment. He trusts the universe that everything will turn on the right and positive side. The white dog is barking and jumping, trying to warn him about the chasm. The snowy white mountains and hills from behind also represent a potential slippery outcomes.
The fool is in movement, he is not just standing there, he took the first step and willing to take many more steps in order to complete the journey. In the end he is seeking meaningful spirituality, to be developed to a higher self. However, right now he doesn’t know exactly how to achieve it. There is no plan, no logical calculations, not even knowledge nor experience. Just the element of fire – the burning desire to go forward.
When we look at the fool’s face we can’t really recognize if it’s a man or a woman. That interpretation means it has both the male and female energies, working together in symbiosis.
The fool tarot card meaning as Personality (Persona)
The fool is a free spirit that has no worries, doesn’t always aware of dangerous and the consequences of his action, too impulsive, acting before thinking. This is why the fool needs help when making big decisions.
He is just like a little kid who is very curious and loves to explore everything about the world. He knows he will make mistakes and it will hurt a lot. Yet it doesn’t stop him from taking an action. He likes the experiences of life whether they are good or even bad. He can learn from each situation and grow wiser and stronger. His main goal is to go after the possibility, even if it doesn’t look very clear or doable at the current phase.
The art of celebrating the joy of life. Admiring the beautifulness of the little things, very positive, optimistic and looking at the bright side.
Flexible, can adapt to most situation. He doesn’t have a solid philosophy or principle he must apply, other than been carefree. He still doesn’t have a strong personality and foundations. He is waiting to be shaped by the future experiences.
He is new to this world; he doesn’t always play by the social norms or cultural rules. Mainly because the fool doesn’t knows the meaning of most of them yet. But after the experience is gained the personality will be shaped on the positive way.
What does the fool card mean in love and relationship reading?
The fool card in love and relationships is meaning a huge surprise. You might encounter your lover in a sequence of events that you never would predict, out of the blue. For example, a new stranger that comes into town, new neighbour or new work colleague.
It can also indicate that there is a person that is close to you, but you haven’t really thought you two are compatible in terms of romance, or can go along together because you two have different personality traits. You will suddenly realise that it can happen.
When it comes to a new relationship there is a lot of excitement in the air, meaning fresh positive energy and optimism. While it might give you good feelings and joy, you also need to be caution a bit. You don’t see the whole picture and what you can’t see might hurt you.
There will be warning signs and it is advised to take in consideration every weird signal into consideration. Your friends and family might have an opinion about your new love relationship, please note that they are not jealous or want things to go wrong for you. They just care that everything will work on the good path.
Don’t be too much swept of your feet, in the end you will have to face reality. What you think about a certain man or woman and what is going on in real life are two different things. Once you encounter the polarity between the two, you might be very disappointed.
If what you are looking for is a long term relationship like marriage, than this is not a good tarot card. The fool’s journey tarot card is indicating the beginning but not the middle and the end. Things will change or develop. If you want this to success there is still a lot of work to be done. The person you are seeing right now is not looking for a commitment. Maybe in the future it will change.
If you are a woman the fool tarot card also stand for fertility. It might predict a pregnancy – start of a new life.
The fool tarot card meaning in work, career and money
New possibilities are coming in your way. This is the time to take action and do what you always wanted. Maybe you always wanted to change your career, maybe you want to work somewhere else or maybe to have your own business.
The main interpretation or meaning is that you need to go with what you believe in, even if there will be hard times during that period. Some people will not like what you are doing, they will try to stop you and change your mind. Situations like this need to be balance. On the one hand it’s good to listen to them, because they have other point of view and might teach you new perspective. On the other way don’t let it to discourage you from achieving the goal.
Understand that making a change related to work and money has its own risks. You can find yourself unemployed for a while or even loosing money. But when we are looking at the long term of the journey, in most cases there will be a success.
The fool tarot card meaning health
Regarding health, the fool tarot card meaning is good physical conditions.
If you were sick before, the interpretation is that the illness might begin to disappear and you suppose to feel much better.
Another possible meaning and interpretation is regarding to health is physical accident. As you may very well know by now, the fool is taking risks without thinking about them too much. The fool is on the verge of the cliff and if something will go wrong he will slip down.
Is the fool a good tarot card or is it bad?
Basically the fool’s journey is a good tarot card, as the main meaning is a new beginning. Usually when we have something new in our life, it is exciting, gives us good feeling and very interesting and intriguing. At this moment we pay attention only to the good and positive aspects of the event. We normally drawn to the situation, don’t think too much about it and we don’t want to ruin it, just flow with the current.
However, nothing is perfect and you also need to be aware of dangerous situations that are a head of you. There will be warning signs of bad energies. Therefore the best practice is no keep an eye on what is going on.
Does the fool tarot card mean yes or no?
The fool’s journey tarot card is usually neutral. The card is symbolizing something fresh and new possibilities. It can turn bad or good depending or the steps you take during your journey. More often than not it is interpreted as a yes card.
The fool’s journey tarot card upright meaning
Upright keywords: new beginnings, freedom, originality, foolishness, spontaneity, travel, adventure, leap of faith, careless, innocence.
The upright meaning of the fool tarot card is about taking risks in order to improve your situation and gain more of what you really want in life. Every one of us has certain desires and personal goals that we want to pursue. So if this card show up in a psychic reading than it is a good time to start a new adventure.
You have to be brave and face your inner demons and fears. Although the card is generally positive, the road to happiness is not easy and you will encounter some problems. From that reason it is very crucial that you will have faith and believe in yourself. Believe that you can do it, even if right now it is not very clear how, you will find the solution. Even if everyone around advice or telling you that you will fail, don’t listen to them too much and go only with your inner true.
Don’t look back on past experiences. Even if you had bad moments, don’t let them hold you from changing your situation. Remember the lessons you have learned and just keep on go forward all the way.
The fool’s journey tarot card reversed meaning
Reversed keywords: lack of direction, chaos, naive, reckless, lack of direction, poor judgement
When the tarot card is being spread upside down (reversed), it means that you jumped too far without thinking about the implications of your action, this might put you in trouble. As shown graphically in the fool tarot card, he is standing right before the cliff. Every big step or reckless movement can bring him to death.
Even if the fool tarot card is showing in reversed it still means a new beginning, but something is holding you back. For example it can be fear of the unknown future, failure and inability to make decisions.
The reversed meaning in love and relationship: if you are single than you are not ready for a long term relationships, you will not find term partner. If you are already seen someone that he or she doesn’t ready to make a commitment. They just want to have fun and fool around.
With money and career, when the tarot card is reversed, beware that no one is taking an advantage or you. For example someone can offer you a bad business idea or shady investment opportunity. And in the end you will lose lots of money.
The fool tarot card meaning in past, present and future
When we relate to the past, the meaning of the fool tarot card is that you have wasted lots of time and energies on people or work or relationships that you are no longer interested in. you had enough with all of this and you are looking for something different.
The present: right now you need a change, you don’t know if it will turn out to be good or bad. You are standing on a crossroad, you need to make a choice and just go for it. Things are looking too complicated right now, this is fine and you will have to address those issues but not right now. The most important thing is that you’ll move on to the desired direction.
The future: the fool tarot card is mainly concern about the present moment. But it can give us a little projection on the future as well. In the future you will have to invent yourself, adapt and be very flexible. When you will see a new opportunity, don’t hesitate and don’t go back to your old habits, which are holding you back.
The fool tarot card number meaning
The fool tarot card is a part of the whole 22 major arcana cards. It referred to key number 0 (zero), meaning the first in the deck. But it can also be placed at the end – key number 22. Because of that fact, the fool symbolizing the beginning and the end of a life cycle. Further more, the cycle is endless so in theory it goes in never-ending loop forever and ever, repeat itself to the eternity.
During our life, we will go through the 21 keys or elements of the fool’s journey. We will meet people who will teach us lessons about life. We will change our behaviour and feelings in order to continue with the journey. So in the end we will go back to the very first place that it was all begun, but now we are different in the way that we are wiser and stronger. It is more like spiritual voyage of self discovery.
The word fool in French language means a sack that is full of air, not with material objects. This is the reason why everything is possible even if it doesn’t seem so. It is also a symbol of triumph.
The number zero in numerology represents no limitation and lots of positive options to choose from. It is nothing and yet it is also everything together. The order of the numbers doesn’t apply to zero, as it all start afterwards. So there is no past for the fool, only future.
22 innumerology is great transformation energy. It is the ability to turn dreams and wishes to come true to the world of reality.
The fool tarot card astrological zodiac sign
The fool tarot card astrological zodiac signs are Aquarius and Pisces.
Aquarius is the 11th zodiac in astrology, mainly represents the element of water. Liquid flow that travel on earth. Strong current of water that can creates its own path by shaping rivers, lakes and the bottom of the ocean. Always on the move, looking for new adventure and can get bored really quick.
Pisces is a dreamer very much like the fool’s personality from the tarot card. They want to go somewhere, but they can’t decide what the right direction for them is. They have this conflict as depict in the zodiac sign – two fish, each one of them is swimming to another side. Pisces are also very emotional and control by their feelings.
In astrology the role of Uranus planet is to be like a clock, to awake us and get us doing things. This is very similar to the fool’s situation as described in the tarot card. There is some burning flame of fire inside of him that wouldn’t let him rest until he will find his answers. It is a call to take immediate action.
The fool tarot card meaning as feelings
As feelings, the fool’s journey tarot card gives us positive feelings. In most cases the answers to you questions are yes, there are good energies and positive vibes surrounding you. Even if the tarot card show in reversed it is still have bigger aspect of positivity with a minor challenge that stands in your way. In fact, it the ancient days of psychic reading the card was actually a joker – the most powerful item in the deck.
The fool tarot card art and history
Long time ago when tarot cards were used as a game and not for psychic reading, the fool’s card was the most powerful card in the deck. He was outside of the order and if you had it, you could protect and win the game.
Few hundreds year later the art of this tarot card was described more as someone who has unwanted personality in society, and therefore he lost all his magic and power. People didn’t want to associate themselves with this image. It was considered a negative energy and bad omen from the future. It symbolized unsuccessful life, misfortune and tormeneted feelings.
Later on, the fool’s image became a man of courage. Until that very day, the fool’s is still the hero card on the tarot deck. Although he is numbered 0 (zero) which mean nothing, he denotes new journey and possibilities, which is everything we need.
In many myths, legends and folklore story through history, the fool is actually the wisest person of all. He might look a little different or simple or even out of the common norms, but he knows better. Although at the beginning he didn’t had too much wisdom, his actions and failures through life, brought him new experiences and valuable lessons to learn from. All of this could happen just because of one thing: he wasn’t afraid to take the risk.
In fact, those who are dismissing him or don’t understand him, are the real fools because they don’t know how much wisdom he has to offer to the world.
Other names for the fool tarot card: joker, jester, clown, buffoon, folie, fov, il matto, le fou, and le mat.
Feel free to write your thoughts or questions in the comments below. I'd love to hear from you!
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What does the fool mean in the tarot cards? The fool is the most wild tarot card in the deck that you can ever get in a psychic reading. The meaning of the fool tarot card is all about new beginnings, a journey which is usually spiritual and fast change. It indicates that things are really going to go forward for you whether it’s love, relationship, money, work, career and health. But all of these good predictions will come true, only if you will believe in yourself and take calculated risks.
If you are interested in learning everything about the meaning of the fool’s journey tarot card, you came to the right place. Keep on reading till the end of this guide as you will find here lots of useful information regarding to:
- The fool’s journey tarot card description and symbolism.
- Personality traits.
- The meaning in love, relationship, money, work, career and health.
- Is the fool a good tarot card or is it bad?
- Does the fool tarot card mean yes or no?
- How to read the fool’s journey tarot card in upright and reversed position.
- The fool tarot card meaning in past, present and future.
- The meaning of the number 0 (zero) and 22.
- Interpretation of astrological zodiac sign.
- Meaning as feelings.
- The fool tarot card art and history.
When we take a first look at the art of fool’s journey tarot card, we immediately notice the bright yellow sun light, the worm rays, the orange – yellow sky and the lite brown ground. The fool has loose and comfortable clothes with flowers patterns on them, mostly yellow which also matches the shoes` shade. Yellow symbolize enlightenment, happy feelings and positive energies.
The fool is ready to take the leap of faith – start a journey to the unknown territory. He doesn’t care if he will encounter obstacles down the road or dangerous situations in the way. He is ready to go no matter what will happen. In fact the fool doesn’t even think about the meaning these problems.
The fool doesn’t care too much about the material world. He collected just the necessary items and packed all his little possessions in a small bag, holding it with his right hand. On the left hand he is holding a beautiful white rose. It means the willingness to scarify and devotion to the spiritual path of life.
Look at his face directed forward and up to the sky, they are full of inspiration, vision and confidence in the current moment. He is free of fear but also innocence because he isn’t aware of the fact that bad things might happen during the unknown journey.
He is standing on the hill, one step before the deadly abyss, caught in the moment. He trusts the universe that everything will turn on the right and positive side. The white dog is barking and jumping, trying to warn him about the chasm. The snowy white mountains and hills from behind also represent a potential slippery outcomes.
The fool is in movement, he is not just standing there, he took the first step and willing to take many more steps in order to complete the journey. In the end he is seeking meaningful spirituality, to be developed to a higher self. However, right now he doesn’t know exactly how to achieve it. There is no plan, no logical calculations, not even knowledge nor experience. Just the element of fire – the burning desire to go forward.
When we look at the fool’s face we can’t really recognize if it’s a man or a woman. That interpretation means it has both the male and female energies, working together in symbiosis.
The fool tarot card meaning as Personality (Persona)
The fool is a free spirit that has no worries, doesn’t always aware of dangerous and the consequences of his action, too impulsive, acting before thinking. This is why the fool needs help when making big decisions.
He is just like a little kid who is very curious and loves to explore everything about the world. He knows he will make mistakes and it will hurt a lot. Yet it doesn’t stop him from taking an action. He likes the experiences of life whether they are good or even bad. He can learn from each situation and grow wiser and stronger. His main goal is to go after the possibility, even if it doesn’t look very clear or doable at the current phase.
The art of celebrating the joy of life. Admiring the beautifulness of the little things, very positive, optimistic and looking at the bright side.
Flexible, can adapt to most situation. He doesn’t have a solid philosophy or principle he must apply, other than been carefree. He still doesn’t have a strong personality and foundations. He is waiting to be shaped by the future experiences.
He is new to this world; he doesn’t always play by the social norms or cultural rules. Mainly because the fool doesn’t knows the meaning of most of them yet. But after the experience is gained the personality will be shaped on the positive way.
What does the fool card mean in love and relationship reading?
The fool card in love and relationships is meaning a huge surprise. You might encounter your lover in a sequence of events that you never would predict, out of the blue. For example, a new stranger that comes into town, new neighbour or new work colleague.
It can also indicate that there is a person that is close to you, but you haven’t really thought you two are compatible in terms of romance, or can go along together because you two have different personality traits. You will suddenly realise that it can happen.
When it comes to a new relationship there is a lot of excitement in the air, meaning fresh positive energy and optimism. While it might give you good feelings and joy, you also need to be caution a bit. You don’t see the whole picture and what you can’t see might hurt you.
There will be warning signs and it is advised to take in consideration every weird signal into consideration. Your friends and family might have an opinion about your new love relationship, please note that they are not jealous or want things to go wrong for you. They just care that everything will work on the good path.
Don’t be too much swept of your feet, in the end you will have to face reality. What you think about a certain man or woman and what is going on in real life are two different things. Once you encounter the polarity between the two, you might be very disappointed.
If what you are looking for is a long term relationship like marriage, than this is not a good tarot card. The fool’s journey tarot card is indicating the beginning but not the middle and the end. Things will change or develop. If you want this to success there is still a lot of work to be done. The person you are seeing right now is not looking for a commitment. Maybe in the future it will change.
If you are a woman the fool tarot card also stand for fertility. It might predict a pregnancy – start of a new life.
The fool tarot card meaning in work, career and money
New possibilities are coming in your way. This is the time to take action and do what you always wanted. Maybe you always wanted to change your career, maybe you want to work somewhere else or maybe to have your own business.
The main interpretation or meaning is that you need to go with what you believe in, even if there will be hard times during that period. Some people will not like what you are doing, they will try to stop you and change your mind. Situations like this need to be balance. On the one hand it’s good to listen to them, because they have other point of view and might teach you new perspective. On the other way don’t let it to discourage you from achieving the goal.
Understand that making a change related to work and money has its own risks. You can find yourself unemployed for a while or even loosing money. But when we are looking at the long term of the journey, in most cases there will be a success.
The fool tarot card meaning health
Regarding health, the fool tarot card meaning is good physical conditions.
If you were sick before, the interpretation is that the illness might begin to disappear and you suppose to feel much better.
Another possible meaning and interpretation is regarding to health is physical accident. As you may very well know by now, the fool is taking risks without thinking about them too much. The fool is on the verge of the cliff and if something will go wrong he will slip down.
Is the fool a good tarot card or is it bad?
Basically the fool’s journey is a good tarot card, as the main meaning is a new beginning. Usually when we have something new in our life, it is exciting, gives us good feeling and very interesting and intriguing. At this moment we pay attention only to the good and positive aspects of the event. We normally drawn to the situation, don’t think too much about it and we don’t want to ruin it, just flow with the current.
However, nothing is perfect and you also need to be aware of dangerous situations that are a head of you. There will be warning signs of bad energies. Therefore the best practice is no keep an eye on what is going on.
Does the fool tarot card mean yes or no?
The fool’s journey tarot card is usually neutral. The card is symbolizing something fresh and new possibilities. It can turn bad or good depending or the steps you take during your journey. More often than not it is interpreted as a yes card.
The fool’s journey tarot card upright meaning
Upright keywords: new beginnings, freedom, originality, foolishness, spontaneity, travel, adventure, leap of faith, careless, innocence.
The upright meaning of the fool tarot card is about taking risks in order to improve your situation and gain more of what you really want in life. Every one of us has certain desires and personal goals that we want to pursue. So if this card show up in a psychic reading than it is a good time to start a new adventure.
You have to be brave and face your inner demons and fears. Although the card is generally positive, the road to happiness is not easy and you will encounter some problems. From that reason it is very crucial that you will have faith and believe in yourself. Believe that you can do it, even if right now it is not very clear how, you will find the solution. Even if everyone around advice or telling you that you will fail, don’t listen to them too much and go only with your inner true.
Don’t look back on past experiences. Even if you had bad moments, don’t let them hold you from changing your situation. Remember the lessons you have learned and just keep on go forward all the way.
The fool’s journey tarot card reversed meaning
Reversed keywords: lack of direction, chaos, naive, reckless, lack of direction, poor judgement
When the tarot card is being spread upside down (reversed), it means that you jumped too far without thinking about the implications of your action, this might put you in trouble. As shown graphically in the fool tarot card, he is standing right before the cliff. Every big step or reckless movement can bring him to death.
Even if the fool tarot card is showing in reversed it still means a new beginning, but something is holding you back. For example it can be fear of the unknown future, failure and inability to make decisions.
The reversed meaning in love and relationship: if you are single than you are not ready for a long term relationships, you will not find term partner. If you are already seen someone that he or she doesn’t ready to make a commitment. They just want to have fun and fool around.
With money and career, when the tarot card is reversed, beware that no one is taking an advantage or you. For example someone can offer you a bad business idea or shady investment opportunity. And in the end you will lose lots of money.
The fool tarot card meaning in past, present and future
When we relate to the past, the meaning of the fool tarot card is that you have wasted lots of time and energies on people or work or relationships that you are no longer interested in. you had enough with all of this and you are looking for something different.
The present: right now you need a change, you don’t know if it will turn out to be good or bad. You are standing on a crossroad, you need to make a choice and just go for it. Things are looking too complicated right now, this is fine and you will have to address those issues but not right now. The most important thing is that you’ll move on to the desired direction.
The future: the fool tarot card is mainly concern about the present moment. But it can give us a little projection on the future as well. In the future you will have to invent yourself, adapt and be very flexible. When you will see a new opportunity, don’t hesitate and don’t go back to your old habits, which are holding you back.
The fool tarot card number meaning
The fool tarot card is a part of the whole 22 major arcana cards. It referred to key number 0 (zero), meaning the first in the deck. But it can also be placed at the end – key number 22. Because of that fact, the fool symbolizing the beginning and the end of a life cycle. Further more, the cycle is endless so in theory it goes in never-ending loop forever and ever, repeat itself to the eternity.
During our life, we will go through the 21 keys or elements of the fool’s journey. We will meet people who will teach us lessons about life. We will change our behaviour and feelings in order to continue with the journey. So in the end we will go back to the very first place that it was all begun, but now we are different in the way that we are wiser and stronger. It is more like spiritual voyage of self discovery.
The word fool in French language means a sack that is full of air, not with material objects. This is the reason why everything is possible even if it doesn’t seem so. It is also a symbol of triumph.
The number zero in numerology represents no limitation and lots of positive options to choose from. It is nothing and yet it is also everything together. The order of the numbers doesn’t apply to zero, as it all start afterwards. So there is no past for the fool, only future.
22 innumerology is great transformation energy. It is the ability to turn dreams and wishes to come true to the world of reality.
The fool tarot card astrological zodiac sign
The fool tarot card astrological zodiac signs are Aquarius and Pisces.
Aquarius is the 11th zodiac in astrology, mainly represents the element of water. Liquid flow that travel on earth. Strong current of water that can creates its own path by shaping rivers, lakes and the bottom of the ocean. Always on the move, looking for new adventure and can get bored really quick.
Pisces is a dreamer very much like the fool’s personality from the tarot card. They want to go somewhere, but they can’t decide what the right direction for them is. They have this conflict as depict in the zodiac sign – two fish, each one of them is swimming to another side. Pisces are also very emotional and control by their feelings.
In astrology the role of Uranus planet is to be like a clock, to awake us and get us doing things. This is very similar to the fool’s situation as described in the tarot card. There is some burning flame of fire inside of him that wouldn’t let him rest until he will find his answers. It is a call to take immediate action.
The fool tarot card meaning as feelings
As feelings, the fool’s journey tarot card gives us positive feelings. In most cases the answers to you questions are yes, there are good energies and positive vibes surrounding you. Even if the tarot card show in reversed it is still have bigger aspect of positivity with a minor challenge that stands in your way. In fact, it the ancient days of psychic reading the card was actually a joker – the most powerful item in the deck.
The fool tarot card art and history
Long time ago when tarot cards were used as a game and not for psychic reading, the fool’s card was the most powerful card in the deck. He was outside of the order and if you had it, you could protect and win the game.
Few hundreds year later the art of this tarot card was described more as someone who has unwanted personality in society, and therefore he lost all his magic and power. People didn’t want to associate themselves with this image. It was considered a negative energy and bad omen from the future. It symbolized unsuccessful life, misfortune and tormeneted feelings.
Later on, the fool’s image became a man of courage. Until that very day, the fool’s is still the hero card on the tarot deck. Although he is numbered 0 (zero) which mean nothing, he denotes new journey and possibilities, which is everything we need.
In many myths, legends and folklore story through history, the fool is actually the wisest person of all. He might look a little different or simple or even out of the common norms, but he knows better. Although at the beginning he didn’t had too much wisdom, his actions and failures through life, brought him new experiences and valuable lessons to learn from. All of this could happen just because of one thing: he wasn’t afraid to take the risk.
In fact, those who are dismissing him or don’t understand him, are the real fools because they don’t know how much wisdom he has to offer to the world.
Other names for the fool tarot card: joker, jester, clown, buffoon, folie, fov, il matto, le fou, and le mat.
Feel free to write your thoughts or questions in the comments below. I'd love to hear from you!
2024.05.14 17:56 DANJCOLEMAN1991 Sound Like ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION Pt.1: Masafumi Gotoh (2024 version)
Introduction
ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION, Zepp Tokyo for \"Quarter-Century Tour\"^(\This article is an updated version of my "Sound Like" article from 2021. I have reposted this article due to difficulties editing the original version*, and have included additional information and recommendations based on the increased popularity of amp simulator pedals*)*Hello fellow musicians and Ajikan fans!
I have been a fan of ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION for roughly 16 years and as a guitarist was greatly inspired by the band's alt rock sound.
After a few years of research I have written a series of "sound like" articles for ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION. The purpose of these articles is to provide context on how the band create their signature sound, and to support beginning musicians or tribute acts who may wish to replicate it.
At the end of each article I have drafted a Budget Rig, which you could use for both at home and in a live environment. I have also provided some general amp settings to tweak and try, which are based on the band's live sound and be can used to help replicate their tones.
This is a 3-part series and if you enjoy this article I would recommend checking out the other articles:
ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION Sound Like Part 2: Kita : AsianKungFuGeneration (reddit.com)
ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION Sound Like Part 3: Yamada : AsianKungFuGeneration (reddit.com)
Please note that the article focuses on the band's live sound, which will be different to the albums and can vary depending on the venue. Also (and is a cliché every musician and instrument will vary slightly due to small differences in play style and build, so also be mindful of that.)To help you recognise the individual guitar tones, Gotch's guitar parts are normally panned to the left earphone and Kita's are panned to the right earphone on the band's albums. (On 2016's Sol-Fa, Hometown and some of the Planet Folks singles the panning was swapped, with Gotch instead in the right ear and Kita on the left)
Masafumi Gotoh
Gotch live at the 02 Islington, London, 2013Let's start off with lead singer and rhythm guitarist Masafumi Gotoh, or "Gotch" for short. Gotch's was massively influenced by the 90's alternative rock, Power Pop and the Britpop scene, and has previously highlighted Oasis, Weezer and Number Girl as key inspirations.
As Ajikan's main songwriter, Gotch follows the principle of "less is more" - keeping the arrangements simple for listeners, but combining pop hooks & traditional Asian melodies with the band's punk rock and indie influences.
Gotch's playing style follows this principle, as he primarily uses chord shapes, bar chords or repeated phrases to anchor the band. (The simple approach also makes it easier for Gotch to sing while performing)
Occasionally, Gotch will use "octave chords" (more on octave chords below) or play riffs with open strings notes, to add further depth. A good example of this is the opening riffs to Easter, where he plays an open D string while also playing the 3rd and 5th fret of the A string.
Octave Chords: Octave chords is famously used in punk rock and alt rock riffs, and is when you play the same note in two different octaves. Try play a bar chord on the 4th fret of the A string, and lifting your ring finger off the D string. You should get a "C# octave chord" and will recognise it from the intro of Haruka Kanata. Octave chords are used in many Ajikan songs and by many bands, so they are good to practice!In more recent albums, Gotch has also experimented with moving chord shapes across the fretboard. For good examples, check out the opening of Caterpillar or the bridge section of Kouya Wo Aruke.
Gotch's guitar tends to be lower in the overall mix, with Kita acting as the band's lead guitarist and Gotch as the anchor for each song. However, Gotch tends to improvise with ambient sounds during live performances and occasionally will take on the lead role in songs like Hold Me Tight.
GUITARS:
When it comes to guitars Gotch almost exclusively plays Gibson Les Paul Jr's with P-90 pickups, and has been his preferred guitar since 2004. The P-90 pickups have a bright midrange sound in comparison to the muddier humbucker sound, which makes them better suited for Gotch's focus on chords.Gotch main guitar is the 1959 Gibson Les Paul Special
The Les Paul Jr is also lighter and have less sustain and power compared to a normal Les Paul, which leaves space for the other instruments to stand out in the mix.
Gotch's main guitar is a 1959 Gibson Les Paul Special, which he plays in E Standard tuning and uses for both recording and live performances. Gotch also uses a 1961 Gibson Les Paul Jr (with the pickguard missing) or a 2000 Gibson Les Paul DC (with a gloss yellow finish) for songs in Eb/D# tuning, such as After Dark or Soredewa, Mata Ashita.
Gotch's is also famous for using a 1975 Gibson Marauder during the band's early years. Gotch has mostly retired the guitar (due to the "lack of volume" for larger venues), but it regularly appears in MV's, band merchandise and occasionally during special events, such as the 10th anniversary shows in Yokohama.
Gotch's Gibson Marauder
Gotch occasionally uses a few rarer guitars live, such as the Gibson Custom Les Paul Junior John Lennon model (Gotch has number 54 of 300 such guitars made), and is normally played with a capo for songs such as Maigo Inu To Ame No Beat.
Gotch has also used a Gibson Hummingbird for acoustic numbers, and can be seen used in Eizo Sakushin Shu Vol.6 for the band's performance of Kaigan Doori. Gotch likes to use Tortex Flex .88mm & Tortex Flex Triangle .88mm guitar picks, which he swaps between depending on the song.
If you are looking to sound like Gotch, the best place to start would be a Les Paul Jr guitar with P-90 pickups.
AMPLIFIERS:
After originally touring with a Roland JC-22, Gotch has almost exclusively played Fender amplifiers since 2004. Gotch uses two amps when playing live, one for his "clean" sound and the other for his "heavy" sound.The band's often implement a "quiet/loud" dynamic into their song writing, so Gotch will often switch between his amps during live performances, using a custom made footswitch on his pedalboard. (A good example of this is Mustang or Solanin)
For his clean tone, Gotch uses a Fender 65' Twin Custom Twin 15. It can be heard on Korogaru Iwa, Kimi ni Asa Ga Furu, Solanin and Wonder Future. Occasionally, Gotch will combine the Twin Reverb with a boost pedal or overdrive pedal for more clarity, with Wonder Future a good examples of this.
(1) Fender '65 Twin Custom 15 (clean tone), (2) Fender Vibro-King Custom, (3) Fender Super-Sonic 60 Head (which uses the Vibro-King as a speaker), (4) Fender '63 Spring Reverb (which runs in between the pedal board and the Super-Sonic 60, and is toggled on or off by a switch)
For his heavier tone, Gotch primarily uses a Fender Vibro-King Custom for recording and appears in most of the band's MV's. The Vibro-King/Twin Reverb was Gotch's main setup during the 2000's and can be seen together on Eizo Sakushin Shu Vol. 6.
In 2009 Gotch started to use a Fender Super-Sonic 60 Amp Head and still uses it now. Until 2022, Gotch would use Vibro-King as a "cabinet", acting as the speaker unit for the Super-Sonic. Gotch now uses a Shinos & L Rocket Head for live shows, but has kept the Vibro-king for recording sessions and MVs.
Since 2022 Gotch has used Shinos & L Rocket amp & cabinet instead of the Fender Vibro-King
Gotch "heavy" amps for songs such as Re:Re:, Haruka Kanata and Rewrite. It is important to note that Gotch prefers to use his amps to create his distorted tone, but will occasionally add an overdrive pedal for heavier tracks such as Blood Circulator & Easter.
Alongside the Twin Reverb and Super-Sonic, Gotch is known to use a Fender 63' Spring Reverb Unit. This unit only runs into the Super-Sonic and is used for additional reverb to "thicken the sound". Gotch can control the 63' Reverb with a on/off switch on his pedal board.
Other notable amps that Gotch has used are the Matchless C30 & Bad Cat 30R Head. Both have been used exclusively for recording, most notably on Wonder Future. Gotch is also known to use VOX AC15 amps for recording.
Gotch's '63 Spring Reverb Unit, along with a selection of Vortex Flex .88m picks
In terms of mics, Gotch seems to use a Shure SM57 for his Fender Twin Reverb and a Shure SM58 on his Vibro-King or Shinos Rocket. When you are trying to emulate his sound with modelling or profiling amps, it is worth experimenting with mic positioning and different mics.If you want to replicate Gotch's amp sound then you should look to replicate his Fender amps. However the Vibro-King is a key component and are unfortunately rare, notoriously loud and expensive. For that reason, I have put together some alternatives that should get you close.
PEDALS & EFFECTS:
During Ajikan's early years, Gotch combined a Roland JC-22 with a ProCo RAT to create the "quiet/loud" dynamic of the band's early records. After buying the Fender Vibro-King in 2004, Gotch no longer required the RAT, but kept a simplified pedalboard to achieve certain tones for live performances.Gotch's 2004 pedalboard, which includes the ProCo RAT and Ibanez TS9 Tube Screamer
We will cover two different pedalboards that Gotch has used during the band's career. Regardless of which pedal board you look at, Gotch's has always included an overdrive or boost pedal, a phase pedal and a delay pedal.
The boost/overdrive is used to "lift" his clean sound during ballads (Solanin, Wonder Future) or to thicken his sound for heavier tracks. (Senseless, Dororo) Gotch will normally set the drive or gain low and the volume high.
The phaser is a more sparingly used pedal to add texture and colour, but can be heard on Shinkokyū, Blue Train and Rewrite. I will include more detail on Gotch's use of delay in the sections below.
Gotch's "Classic" Pedalboard
Gotch \"classic\" pedalboard, used between 2006-2013, with Gotch's custom made footswitch on the bottom left to control the amps
Gotch started to use this "classic" board during the Fanclub tour and continued to do so until the 10th Anniversary shows in 2013. This would be the easier and more affordable board to replicate for newcomers.
Gotch's setup started with a BOSS TU-3 tuner, which he also used as a "mute" pedal in between songs. From there, his chain would run into the Ibanez TS808 Tube Screamer, the BOSS PH-2 Super Phaser and the BOSS DD-20 Giga Delay. During the Magic Disk tour, Gotch also added a Custom Audio Tremolo.
The BOSS DD-20 has been Gotch's main delay pedal for twenty years and is set to "warp". On the warp setting, Gotch can keep his foot on the pedal to create swells of delays. Gotch's standard setting is 173-179bpm (beats per minute on 1/4 (quarter) notes and then he has four presets. These are 137bpm on 1/4 (for the intro of Blackout), 154bpm on 1/4 (for Kakato de Ai o Uchinarase), 177bpm on 1/2 (for Solanin and the intro of Siren) and finally 177 on 1/4. (For the second half of Siren))Gotch also included two footswitches for his board; The first one was a handmade footswitch, which he used to swap between the Twin Reverb and the Vibro-King/Super-Sonic. The other footswitch was a BOSS FS-5L, which he used to control the '63 Spring Reverb Unit.
Gotch's "Modern" Pedalboard
Gotch's \"modern\" pedal board.【Pedal List】(1) api/TranZformer GT (compressoequalizer) (2) BOSS/TU-3 (tuner) (3) Spaceman Effects/Atlas III (preamp) (4) BOSS/DD-6 (delay) (5) Spaceman Effects/Voyager I (tremolo) (6) EarthQuaker Devices/Avalanche Run (delay/reverb) (7) Mu-Tron/Mu-FX Phasor 2X (phaser) (8) Caroline Guitar Company/KILOBYTE (9) BOSS/DD-20 (delay) (10) Handmade/Line Selector (11) FAT/514.D (booster)(12) strymon/Zuma R300 (power supply) (13)BOSS/EV-30 (Expression Pedal) (14) BOSS/FS-5L (foot switch)
During the recording of Wonder Future and his first solo album (Can't Be Forever Young), Gotch began to experiment more with boutique pedals, and has resulted in a more complex board since 2014, allowing more ambient experiments on the band's records and during live performances.
Gotch has added a API Tranzformer GT to the start of his chain, only using the E.Q. section and tweaking the settings for each venue.
Gotch's "Modern" board now includes a variety of delay and reverb pedals, such as the Earthquaker Device Avalanche Run and the Caroline Kilobyte Lo-Fi Delay. These are combined with his DD-20 to create the ambient sounds heard on Empathy & the outro of Demachiyanagi Parallel Universe.
The BOSS DD-6 Digital Delay is set to the "reverse" mode and is used during the intro of Re:Re: and the bridge of Rewrite. Gotch has removed the Tube-Screamer from his board and has experimented with multiple alternative pedals, which includes the Xotic Effects AC Plus and JHS Superbolt.
He currently uses the Atlas III Preamp Booster and the FAT 514.D for his overdrive sounds. The 514.D only runs to the Super-Sonic to help "thicken" the distorted tone of the Super-Sonic.
Gotch has also replaced the Super Phaser with the MU-FX Phasor 2x and is using a Voyager I Spaceman for his tremolo. (UCLA & No Name are good references for the tremolo) Finally, Gotch has added an BOSS EV-30 expression pedal, which he uses to control the delay of the Avalanche Run.
If you are looking to replicate Gotch's pedalboard, the best place to start would be a phaser, delay and a boost/overdrive pedal, which would cover most of Ajikan's Discography.
Sound Like Gotch...On a Budget
Now that you are up to speed on what Gotch uses for his guitar rig, we can start to look at replicating his sound. The idea of this section is to offer affordable suggestions to replicate Gotch's tone that can be used for home use and for small live venues.I would like to highlight that I am just writing as a fan and the equipment I recommend are purely my own recommendations. I do not have any sponsors (I wish I did sometimes) and if you find alternatives that work for you, go for it!
Gotch performing in 2022, during the Quarter Century shows in Yokohama
To buy Gotch's current pedal board alone would cost roughly £2,500 and would be unrealistic for most readers to purchase, however there are options that can get us close to Gotch's tone without breaking the bank.
The key elements to this rig are:
- A Gibson style guitar with P-90 pickups
- A Fender amp with decent distortion
- A Tube-Screamer style overdrive
- A flexible Delay pedal
GUITARS
As an affordable guitar, I would suggest looking at the Epiphone Les Paul Jr. It is the entry level price for Gibson guitars (Epiphone would be the equivalent to "Squier" for Fender) and includes P-90 pickups as the standard setup. You can buy one for around £380 and should also be fairly easy to modify & similar to Gotch's sound.
Epiphone Les Paul Junior
If you do have a higher budget to work with, I would recommend the Gibson Les Paul Special Tribute DC. These were released in 2019 and you can normally find a 2nd hand version for roughly £650 - £800. (It is also the guitar I currently use!) Failing that, you can also look at the Gibson Les Paul Special for around £800.
Gibson Les Paul Special Tribute DC
AMPLIFIERS
We are looking to replicate Gotch's Fender amps, so the affordable option to start with would be the Fender Mustang GTX. The newer Mustang amps are an improvement on the original and have simulations of the Twin Reverb, the Vibro-King and the Super-Sonic.
The GTX 50 (which has a smaller speaker) is roughly £390 and the GTX 100 (which includes a footswitch) is about £510, but you should be able to find both versions for a reduced cost second hand.
Fender Mustang GTX 100
If you do have a higher budget or prefer to use a tube amp, I would recommend going for the Fender Super-Sonic Combo or the Fender Hot Rod Deluxe for a solid distorted Fender tone.
Alternatively, you could consider the Fender Blues Junior, Fender Tone Master Twin-Reverb or Roland JC, and combine them with a ProCo RAT to replicate the tones from Houkai Amplifier and Kimi Tsunagi Five M.
PEDALS
To keep the list of suggestions short and simple, we will use Gotch's "classic" board as a reference and will cover most of the band's discography.
For a budget rig, I would recommend the Ibanez Tube-Screamer Mini, which is a miniature version of the standard Ibanez Tube-Screamer and sound great for the price. You could pair this up with a Boss Phase Shifter and a BOSS DD-6 Delay for around £309 brand new to get a very similar Gotch board. (You could buy them for as low as £110 combined on the 2nd hand market)
The Tube Screamer Mini is a cheap, effective overdrive pedal based on the classic TS808
For a more expensive pedalboard, the JHS Superbolt V2 was used by Gotch extensively between 2015-2019 and was once described by Gotch as "the Ajikan sound" on his blog. You could also buy the TS808 Tube Screamer that Gotch actually used for many years or the JHS Bonsai 9 which emulates multiple tube screamers.
For modulation sounds (phase, tremolo) the AmpliTube X-Vibe is one of many great multi-effect pedal on the market. If you have the money for it, you could buy a BOSS DD-20 second hand or the BOSS DD-200 to emulate Gotch's delay sound.
If you decided to go with the Mustang GTX, you would also have a selection of effects built into the amp.
THE TONE MASTER PRO? (and amp simulators)
As a final recommendation, Fender have recently released the Tone Master Pro (TMP), which is a multi effects and amp simulator.
It can be used as a device for home recording, but also as multi effects pedal in front of a standard amp or as your main amplifier when played through a IR cabinet. (I'll go into more detail in a bit!) The TMP are not cheap at £1400, so I would only advise buying one if you plan to use it as your main amp and effects board.
If you have the budget and was starting your rig from scratch I would consider checking it out, as it includes great simulations of the Twin Reverb and Vibro-King. They are also easy to transport & the Fender IR cabinets only weigh 12.5kg. (For comparison, my VOX AC15 weighs 30kg and is a nightmare to transport for shows)
The TMP is Fender's first amp simulator pedal and from what I understand the Quad Cortex DSP, the Line 6 Helix series and the Headrush Pedalboard are more popular choices. However, for the purpose of "sounding like Gotch", I would start with the TMP for its Fender selection and simplicity
The Fender Tone Master Pro can be used to simulate multiple amps & as a pedalboard for live performances
If you decide to buy a Amp Simulator Pedal, there are 3 common ways to use it for band practices & live settings. (Outside of just using headphones or running straight to front of house at a venue)
Option 1: Only use the effects on the Amp Simulator and run it into a standard amp. (Make sure to not use the cabinets settings within the pedal when doing this You could still use the amps, however it will not always sound great with a normal amp)
Option 2: Use the Amp Simulator as your main amp and combining with a standard guitar cabinet. In order to do this, you will need to buy a separate power amp pedal to run in between the amp simulator and the guitar cabinet. (Otherwise you will not have any volume or oomph when you play through the cabinet)
Option 3: Buy a IR Cabinet. The difference between this and Option 2 is that you would not need to buy a separate power amp pedal to run into the speaker. The Fender FR-10/12 & Line 6 Powercab are good examples.
Recommended Amp Settings
The following amp settings are based on photos gathered from live performances or from photos of Gotch's social media. Every amp will slightly differ based on your guitar or playing style, so you may need to tweak with your settings to find the right blend.My personal advice is to not put the gain too high and to start with getting the treble and bass settings where you feel comfortable, before tweaking the mids. The P-90s have a strong midrange attack, so bear that in mind as well.
Gotch's Vibro-King and Super-Sonic
Fender '65 Twin Custom 15:
(Plugged into Vibrato 1) Vol: 3, Treble: 3.5-4, Mid: 6.5, Bass: 3.5
Fender Super-Sonic 60 Head:
Channel 1: Vol: 3.5, Treble: 4-4.5, Bass: 5
Channel 2: Vintage setting ON, Gain 1: 4, Gain 2: 0, Treble: 5-5.5, Bass: 4.5-5, Mid: 5.5, Vol: 5.5-6
Fender Vibro-King Custom (as cabinet):
Plug into the speaker input at the back of the amp, with FAT switch on.
Fender Vibro-King Custom (as amplifier):
(FAT ON) Vol: 3, Treble: 4.5, Bass: 4, Mid: 5.5 (Based on Eizo Sakushin Shu Vol.6 settings)
OR
(FAT ON) Vol: 4.5 Treble: 4 Bass: 5 Mid: 4.5
Shinos & L Rocket Head:
Gain: 7, Treble: 8, Bass: 3, Reverb: 0, Master: 7
Conclusion
I hope this has been helpful for you guys, as it has been on my bucket list for some time! Please provide some feedback as it is always appreciated and if you would like more details about the effect settings let me know.[Update] I have now written a post on Kita's rig and Yamada's rig, which you can read below:
ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION Sound Like Part 2: Kita : AsianKungFuGeneration (reddit.com)
ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION Sound Like Part 3: Yamada : AsianKungFuGeneration (reddit.com)
2024.05.14 17:49 housing2223 what to do if there was not enough closure with my (21F) boyfriend/ex (21M)?
TL;DR: i broke up with boyfriend of 1.5 years over our unresolved issues, and the mutual hurt and pain we caused eachother—lack of effort and expressing care on mine and emotional abuse on his. he told me what he needed when we broke up, I sugarcoated it and said I needed him to be nicer and no put downs. I don’t feel closure, I feel I didn’t have the words and now I do
after 1.5 years, i left my boyfriend. the good was he wanted a future, prioritized me, and cared about me. he wanted to work through things, wanted to make it work. he was willing to try to make things work.
the not so good…he was difficult to communicate with, didn’t understand my side of issues, didn’t respect my political beliefs, was tired of me making the same mistake, tended to blame me for our issues. He has trust issues and I got accused of cheating. He’d flip everything i say. after speaking to a therapist, there was confirmed emotional abuse happening.
i wanted a future too. he was serious about planning it, but because of the above, i didn’t plan because i didn’t feel secure emotionally—in my mind, it WOULD work and I know a future is possible and I want it. I think some of the harshness in the relationship is caused me to be rude, less affectionate, and not appreciate him. And that i feel so guilty for, because I loved him more than anything. I think unresolved issues and resentment kept me from being more appreciative.
we finally reach a point i no longer could go beyond. he called me pathetic, and I realized no matter how upset he was I couldn’t take more put downs. he wanted me to change, to put more effort, but after dedicating my time and love, I felt so stuck. our issues kept me from that effort, because i was resentful. He told me, even then, I don’t know if I could change to be what he needed.
Despite the pain, I know I was causing him pain as he never felt loved by me. I don’t know how, I loved him, but it’s how he felt. I was hurting him by staying, and I knew right now, before consistent therapy, I was not going to change. He said I’d change if I cared enough, and I said I do care but I’m not going to change. That set off the breakup. He gave me option to leave, and then he made it clear what he needed. I was in so much pain, I didn’t want to cause him more pain, I told him I needed him to be kinder and no more put downs. I feel I should’ve listed my concerns, and told him I wanted him to work on the emotional abuse and his BPD because I think he would’ve. I wish I would’ve been more specific.
He wanted to work through it, and I’m not saying to immediately get back together as I have to build myself up again. I walked out the door. It happened not even 12 hours ago, we have eachothers messages open. This is not feel like closure. I got the closure of the pain of walking out, but not the closure that I told him the right thing. I need him to work on the emotional abuse, and I work on self love to love him, and actually express the love I feel. I want to feel emotionally secure to have a future with him. I want to tell him this. We’ve almost broken up a few times (because of me). Our issues were so much for a relationship to be healthy, but part of me is willing to work on it, but starting from myself apart. Is there a way to have this conversation? I need the closure of knowing he would work on the emotional abuse and BPD. Even if it’s not for me, I want him to work on these for his future relationships.
Im in the worst pain without him, I just want to see him, I don’t want it to be over. It was my choice because I couldn’t stand to hurt him anymore, or be hurt. Hurt will happen, but feeling unloved is a whole different issue. Would a conversation laying out the what was needed be okay? I need to tell him more honestly, it feels guilty sugarcoating it now. I am willing to change for him, I need him in my life
submitted by housing2223 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
after 1.5 years, i left my boyfriend. the good was he wanted a future, prioritized me, and cared about me. he wanted to work through things, wanted to make it work. he was willing to try to make things work.
the not so good…he was difficult to communicate with, didn’t understand my side of issues, didn’t respect my political beliefs, was tired of me making the same mistake, tended to blame me for our issues. He has trust issues and I got accused of cheating. He’d flip everything i say. after speaking to a therapist, there was confirmed emotional abuse happening.
i wanted a future too. he was serious about planning it, but because of the above, i didn’t plan because i didn’t feel secure emotionally—in my mind, it WOULD work and I know a future is possible and I want it. I think some of the harshness in the relationship is caused me to be rude, less affectionate, and not appreciate him. And that i feel so guilty for, because I loved him more than anything. I think unresolved issues and resentment kept me from being more appreciative.
we finally reach a point i no longer could go beyond. he called me pathetic, and I realized no matter how upset he was I couldn’t take more put downs. he wanted me to change, to put more effort, but after dedicating my time and love, I felt so stuck. our issues kept me from that effort, because i was resentful. He told me, even then, I don’t know if I could change to be what he needed.
Despite the pain, I know I was causing him pain as he never felt loved by me. I don’t know how, I loved him, but it’s how he felt. I was hurting him by staying, and I knew right now, before consistent therapy, I was not going to change. He said I’d change if I cared enough, and I said I do care but I’m not going to change. That set off the breakup. He gave me option to leave, and then he made it clear what he needed. I was in so much pain, I didn’t want to cause him more pain, I told him I needed him to be kinder and no more put downs. I feel I should’ve listed my concerns, and told him I wanted him to work on the emotional abuse and his BPD because I think he would’ve. I wish I would’ve been more specific.
He wanted to work through it, and I’m not saying to immediately get back together as I have to build myself up again. I walked out the door. It happened not even 12 hours ago, we have eachothers messages open. This is not feel like closure. I got the closure of the pain of walking out, but not the closure that I told him the right thing. I need him to work on the emotional abuse, and I work on self love to love him, and actually express the love I feel. I want to feel emotionally secure to have a future with him. I want to tell him this. We’ve almost broken up a few times (because of me). Our issues were so much for a relationship to be healthy, but part of me is willing to work on it, but starting from myself apart. Is there a way to have this conversation? I need the closure of knowing he would work on the emotional abuse and BPD. Even if it’s not for me, I want him to work on these for his future relationships.
Im in the worst pain without him, I just want to see him, I don’t want it to be over. It was my choice because I couldn’t stand to hurt him anymore, or be hurt. Hurt will happen, but feeling unloved is a whole different issue. Would a conversation laying out the what was needed be okay? I need to tell him more honestly, it feels guilty sugarcoating it now. I am willing to change for him, I need him in my life
2024.05.14 17:48 Ducky_shot 2024 "What in the world do you think I should buy?" Resource Ship Guide
 | Since it seems like most of this community cannot decide what they like and what they want to spend their resources on and are completely at the mercy of strangers on the internet to obtain joy and pleasure from pixels, I am unfortunately back with another edition of the Resource ship buying guide. I polled about 10 high level clans for this information. I got 46 responses, which is lower than previous polls, probably due to various reasons, the most likely is that I polled fewer clans than before. Anyways, here it is: submitted by Ducky_shot to WorldOfWarships [link] [comments] First off, steel ships. What are the best Steel ships for competitive play? Respondents could pick 4. Competitive was left to their interpretation. https://preview.redd.it/f6paqna7se0d1.png?width=606&format=png&auto=webp&s=ffaa7b8e72dacba8157be2c91bbb963d4b8d56e0 What are the most fun steel ships to play? Again, they could pick 4. https://preview.redd.it/r6qdd3cese0d1.png?width=605&format=png&auto=webp&s=83022e30d12179f1fbde842ca3c7f70c31225393 What is your favorite Steel ship? https://preview.redd.it/895aq0rise0d1.png?width=606&format=png&auto=webp&s=afa617b0bb5b7dfbf115bfbf1affaa308b0ec863 Now we move on to Coal ships. I limited coal ships to tiers 9 and 10. What are the best Coal ships for competitive play? Respondents could pick 6. https://preview.redd.it/tgo46wv2te0d1.png?width=609&format=png&auto=webp&s=4836819d6f60d92f6f462479662c0f8d32f1ba06 What are the most fun coal ships to play? Again, they could pick 6. https://preview.redd.it/x7bqfj28te0d1.png?width=605&format=png&auto=webp&s=9e327a96453a98f02183694b112578730c59cd5c There are piles of T9 and T10 coal ships, so I allowed them to pick a favorite from both tiers. What is our favorite T10 Coal ship? https://preview.redd.it/t6t0fpsfte0d1.png?width=606&format=png&auto=webp&s=a7cbb6219d683fe8f27b465daea3e45de76436b4 What is your favorite T9 Coal ship? https://preview.redd.it/5jggfyxmte0d1.png?width=607&format=png&auto=webp&s=a639661fad1b3b7fb390348e976e6b23ec3e0de0 Now on to RB ships. What are the best RB ships for competitive play? Respondents could pick 4. https://preview.redd.it/wmgos0stte0d1.png?width=604&format=png&auto=webp&s=c6d16f64f68b38c0ee3d94fc7b956e3a275fa206 What are the most fun RB ships to play. Again, they could pick 4. https://preview.redd.it/6q7fre2yte0d1.png?width=607&format=png&auto=webp&s=3273d8896b600adbe768f3f5c7fcf94fb28d1076 What is your favorite RB ship? https://preview.redd.it/b3b10wc1ue0d1.png?width=605&format=png&auto=webp&s=e28032ad73123210693c01ebb7508af08d67139e I'm going to run a second poll, open to anyone to fill out as I'm curious what the results will be compared to high skilled players. The reason I choose high skilled players for this poll is that they are typically more invested in the game, have more resources, have obtained more of the ships, are involved with their clan mates and others in discussions and games where they are min maxing the ships to use to their greatest strengths. Basically, I feel that they would know the most about all the ships. But here is the poll link for you to take. I will post the results in a few weeks time alongside and we'll see if there are any glaring differences:https://forms.gle/vC4dmuysRgt8mysG6 FAQ: Q: Why didn't you ask "X question" instead? A: Because I asked the questions I wanted to ask. Feel free to do it yourself next time. Q: Can you get a bigger sample size? A: Possibly, but feel free to do it yourself next time. Q: Can you ask more questions next time? A: No, but feel free to do it yourself next time. Q: How come you never asked me? A: Feel free to do it yourself next time. Or alternatively, you can fill the poll out here and I will update with corresponding results after a few weeks: https://forms.gle/vC4dmuysRgt8mysG6 Q: Why didn't you ask about coal ships below T9? A: Because I didn't want to inundate participants with excessive questions, but feel free to do it yourself next time. Q: Does competitive mean ranked and Clan battles, or just KOTS, or specifically for Operations? Or a combination of them? A: Personally, I don't think that ranked is competitive. Hasn't been for years, its just a grind mode where you get lumped together with such grindy players as UpsetAmphibian. But since you don't need to get the ships for KOTs with press accounts, personally, I believe that comp would mean ranked and CB. But feel free to do it yourself next time and define it however you want. Q:What about Kommisar? A: Feel free to do it yourself next time after Kommisar has released. Q: Isn't Kommisar spelled with a double S? A: Yep. Q: Why do you seem so cynical and passive aggressive? A: Who says I'm cynical and passive aggressive? If I was its because I've probably been around the player base and the developer for far too long and know what to expect in the responses. Q: Are you cynical? A: Yes |
2024.05.14 17:44 ComfortableMoment682 I am close to losing my corporate job due to chronic pain. How can I protect myself?
I have been dealing with chronic, migrating joint pain for the past 6 years. Within the past 12 months, it has ramped up and moved down into my lower back and SI joints. I took 10 weeks of medical leave last November from my corporate job to try and sort it out because I was in alot of pain which was causing massive anxiety. Unfortunately, during my leave, doctors ran basic tests and said I was fine and put me on anxiety meds.
I've been back at work since February and things continued to deteriorate with my back. I have been sucking it up and pushing through the pain because I fear losing my job. Unfortunately, this weekend, I woke up in a level 9/10 pain, passed out from it, and could not support my upper body weight. Despite this, I still waddled my way into work yesterday and had to take breaks where I had to lie down flat in the bathroom and stretch my SI joints. Its pathetic and embarrassing.
I saw my doctor yesterday, and she is finally taking it seriously and is concerned that something is wrong with my SI joints causing them to be extremely inflamed. My lower back is swollen as well. She gave me a steroid shot (did nothing at all) and has now ordered imaging and autoimmune testing. She has also referred me to an orthopedic surgeon and rheumatologist.
I am happy things are being taken seriously, but at this point - my boss has lost all sympathy and understanding for my health problems and he freaks out anytime I need to leave work early for appointments or if I need to work from home because of pain.
I get his frustration, I will admit that at least once a week, I need to either leave early for apts or wfh due to pain. However, I have never missed a deadline and continue to provide amazing work. I also push through more than I dont and he doesnt see that. I've never once been reprimanded for work-related issues - only the needing to wfh or the appointments, citing that "Others start to get jealous that I'm able to leave early and wfh but they can't". He retaliates by giving me attitude, interrupting me in meetings, and not giving me work or work that is way below my skill level.
I have been trying to find a new job, but the insurance here is good and I need it to resolve these issues hopefully. I am also a single mom, so just up and quitting isn't an option. I'm not sure how to protect my job or if it's even possible to do so. I'm not trying to freak out, but it's becoming harder and harder to take care of myself and I don't have anyone to lean on or help me. I cannot afford for these issues to get to a point where I am unable to be independent.
I am curious if anyone else here has experienced discrimination at work due to chronic pain, or has lost a job because of it. What happened and how did you handle it?
I do have FMLA, but that only covers me for 12 weeks and I've already wasted 10 on medical leave, leaving me with two weeks of FMLA left until November 2024. I'm not sure what my options are moving forward...Do I talk to HR? (I know they are there to protect themselves not me) Is there anything else I can do to protect myself and my job?
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place here. I've reached the limit where I can no longer push through the pain. I also have to get this imaging and further testing done ASAP, but the places that do the imagine are only open during the same times I work and I live 45 min away from where my job is located - going there on lunch breaks isn't an option.
When dealing with chronic pain, how do you put yourself and your health first when you have a kid to support and are doing it all alone?
Looking for any advice, personal anecdotes, words of encouragement, success stories - anything. I keep feeling so guilty like I am letting people down by being in pain, but it’s obvious now that the pain is real and it's gotten to a really bad point.
submitted by ComfortableMoment682 to ChronicPain [link] [comments]
I've been back at work since February and things continued to deteriorate with my back. I have been sucking it up and pushing through the pain because I fear losing my job. Unfortunately, this weekend, I woke up in a level 9/10 pain, passed out from it, and could not support my upper body weight. Despite this, I still waddled my way into work yesterday and had to take breaks where I had to lie down flat in the bathroom and stretch my SI joints. Its pathetic and embarrassing.
I saw my doctor yesterday, and she is finally taking it seriously and is concerned that something is wrong with my SI joints causing them to be extremely inflamed. My lower back is swollen as well. She gave me a steroid shot (did nothing at all) and has now ordered imaging and autoimmune testing. She has also referred me to an orthopedic surgeon and rheumatologist.
I am happy things are being taken seriously, but at this point - my boss has lost all sympathy and understanding for my health problems and he freaks out anytime I need to leave work early for appointments or if I need to work from home because of pain.
I get his frustration, I will admit that at least once a week, I need to either leave early for apts or wfh due to pain. However, I have never missed a deadline and continue to provide amazing work. I also push through more than I dont and he doesnt see that. I've never once been reprimanded for work-related issues - only the needing to wfh or the appointments, citing that "Others start to get jealous that I'm able to leave early and wfh but they can't". He retaliates by giving me attitude, interrupting me in meetings, and not giving me work or work that is way below my skill level.
I have been trying to find a new job, but the insurance here is good and I need it to resolve these issues hopefully. I am also a single mom, so just up and quitting isn't an option. I'm not sure how to protect my job or if it's even possible to do so. I'm not trying to freak out, but it's becoming harder and harder to take care of myself and I don't have anyone to lean on or help me. I cannot afford for these issues to get to a point where I am unable to be independent.
I am curious if anyone else here has experienced discrimination at work due to chronic pain, or has lost a job because of it. What happened and how did you handle it?
I do have FMLA, but that only covers me for 12 weeks and I've already wasted 10 on medical leave, leaving me with two weeks of FMLA left until November 2024. I'm not sure what my options are moving forward...Do I talk to HR? (I know they are there to protect themselves not me) Is there anything else I can do to protect myself and my job?
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place here. I've reached the limit where I can no longer push through the pain. I also have to get this imaging and further testing done ASAP, but the places that do the imagine are only open during the same times I work and I live 45 min away from where my job is located - going there on lunch breaks isn't an option.
When dealing with chronic pain, how do you put yourself and your health first when you have a kid to support and are doing it all alone?
Looking for any advice, personal anecdotes, words of encouragement, success stories - anything. I keep feeling so guilty like I am letting people down by being in pain, but it’s obvious now that the pain is real and it's gotten to a really bad point.
2024.05.14 17:14 Extendo10_08Capybara Ankles- Stretches to align the Peroneus brevis ligament/tendon
I (28M) have rolled both ankles on and off for the last 12 years. Started with one bad roll playing basketball in college and switched back and forth between ankles ever since. I'll roll my ankle walking, getting out of a golf cart, basically if I do anything without putting some attention to where my foot is going, they may roll. I joke that I have elastic ankles bc I'll roll it bad enough to have to either jump to catch myself from falling or knee to the ground, but the pain only lasts a few hours and I get back to even fairly quickly...
That said, within the last 2 months I've been experiencing a different pain that can be unbearable at times. I sit at a desk for work and apparently have an issue with crossing my feet while sitting. So that one ankle sits on the other. Anyway, after sitting for a bit I'll try to stand up or even just dorsey flex my feet bc they are feeling stiff, and I get a tremendous pain in the left outside part of the high ankle (L). I cannot walk and can barely even stand. I try to massage the ankle and stretch it out, but I have no idea what I'm doing and nothing is helping the pain. After enough time I do something with my foot whether it be shaking it or re-crossing the ankles to try to nix whatever I did, and the pain will just magically disappear with no residual pain or symptoms. It's astonishing.
I did some research at the online doctors office and believe it to be something related to the Peroneus brevis tendon or ligament. It says that sitting down can cause the ligament to "slip" from it's position. I don't know what to do to treat it other than going to a Ortho or PT, which I figure will either lead to surgery or recommended workouts. I'd rather do workouts on my own to strengthen the surrounding muscles. But in the meantime I would like some recommendations as to different potential stretches, massages, or cheat codes to re-align the ligament when it slips out of place. Much appreciated.
submitted by Extendo10_08Capybara to AskDocs [link] [comments]
That said, within the last 2 months I've been experiencing a different pain that can be unbearable at times. I sit at a desk for work and apparently have an issue with crossing my feet while sitting. So that one ankle sits on the other. Anyway, after sitting for a bit I'll try to stand up or even just dorsey flex my feet bc they are feeling stiff, and I get a tremendous pain in the left outside part of the high ankle (L). I cannot walk and can barely even stand. I try to massage the ankle and stretch it out, but I have no idea what I'm doing and nothing is helping the pain. After enough time I do something with my foot whether it be shaking it or re-crossing the ankles to try to nix whatever I did, and the pain will just magically disappear with no residual pain or symptoms. It's astonishing.
I did some research at the online doctors office and believe it to be something related to the Peroneus brevis tendon or ligament. It says that sitting down can cause the ligament to "slip" from it's position. I don't know what to do to treat it other than going to a Ortho or PT, which I figure will either lead to surgery or recommended workouts. I'd rather do workouts on my own to strengthen the surrounding muscles. But in the meantime I would like some recommendations as to different potential stretches, massages, or cheat codes to re-align the ligament when it slips out of place. Much appreciated.
2024.05.14 17:06 ElleVB1990 AITA for cutting ties with my Aunt (more like a mother to me) due to religious differences?
Trigger warning - religious differences
I always bragged about how awesome my extended family was. NO family is perfect, but I heard horror stories and always counted my blessings that I had strong ties with my Aunt and uncles since I was raised an only child. That was until a few months ago when my last living Aunt, whom I considered a second mom, shattered me.
Ok, some backstory here. My aunt is a Jehovah’s Witness. Now before you get all judgy, I have always loved her, my uncle and her son with all of my heart. I still do. I respect that they have found faith and live by this code on the daily. I have met many people from their congregation and loved them all (ok, a couple of exceptions). I also appreciate the community they have and love they all show each other. If it weren’t for the religion itself, I would have converted.
I, however, am pagan and have always been since I was about 5 (even the first book I signed out from the school’s library was about witchcraft). Not raised that way, but always found spiritual comfort in nature and the natural world. I have a very strong connection and dedication to my Powers That Be and work every day to help the world be a better place. My Aunt did not know my religion until about 7 years ago. That being said, she and I would have very philosophical conversations when we hung out together. Even at the age of 8, I would listen to her preach to me and ask questions to which she never had answers. I remember her telling me how only 144,000 people would be allowed in heaven and didn’t I think that would be wonderful knowing that our whole family could be together again after we died. We’d all be in heaven if we were all Jehova;s witnesses. I had gone with her many times to do field service (door to door) and asked her why they do that if there’s only a certain number of people allowed. Didn’t that lessen her chances of getting in because I’m sure there were many people more deserving than myself. How did she know for sure she’d be one of the ones to get in and was that fair to keep bringing people into the religion when all the spaces were probably already filled up?
At 8 years old, I had many questions and was just trying to figure these things out. Since she was an adult, I figured she had the answers. My questions were not with malice, just for a want of better understanding. When she didn’t have the answers, I'd ask my mother and grandmother. While they were extremely amused, they said they never understood either. They never said anything bad about her or her attempts to get them to convert, just allowed me to explore religion and spirituality as I wished so I could make my own decision of what was right for me.
Once I was an adult, I avoided talking to her about religion, but found that if I didn’t ask questions and just let her talk, it made her happy. I know she’s a good person at heart and that’s all that matters. After my Mom passed, my aunt and I talked almost every week. I loved talking to her and she became even more like a mom to me. She gave me encouragement and we supported each other through health and emotional crises. I’d make it a point to try and visit at least once a year for a few days so she could visit with my daughter and I. We’d always do lunch with her friends and I loved it. I fell in love with some of the people in her congregation and wished we could live closer to hang out more. I, however, never wavered on my spiritual beliefs, but I have never cared about the religion, race, or sexuality of anyone. If we got along, we were friends and that was that.
My aunt and I had come to an understanding that I would not convert and that we would love and respect each other regardless. Religious talk was off the table for the most part until both of my uncles (my aunt’s two brothers) passed and she had a very hard time dealing with it. She was the last surviving sibling and she was sinking into a depression. I’d talk to her at length and listen to her as she mourned the fact that she would never have contact with them (and my mom) in heaven because they never converted. When she asked me what I believed, I told her that I believed that the soul lived on after the body died and that I believed in reincarnation. I explained my beliefs were closer to hindu and buddhism than christianity (so she had context). We had very long talks and she expressed that she respected my views and actually found comfort in talking with me.
That was until my daughter and I opened our store about 3 years ago. It’s a metaphysical shop and we have crystals, teas, gifts, jewelry, candles and more (about 10% strict;y pagan). My aunt was happy for us until it dawned on her that we might sell pagan stuff. I told her what we sold and she asked me if I was a witch. I replied that I suppose that was one way to describe me, but, again, I considered myself spiritual and that I followed a path closer to buddhism, hinduism, native american. I sent a couple of pictures of the jewelry that we made and she said when we came down, we should bring the jewelry making.
We did, I brought down our best crystals to wrap and bracelet materials and my daughter and I made her a necklace with a very expensive stone (A $200 piece). She brought her friends over and they picked out crystals that they wanted, made bracelets and such. We had fun and I was happy to do it, though I wasn’t expecting people that I had never met before. Still, we had fun. My daughter and I also brought her a basket with local items from our hometown, (Raw honey, handmade stoneware mugs, cutting board, herbal tea and some other items made by us as well) She was thrilled. My aunt and uncle had taken a couple of bad falls a few months before and so my daughter and I made them hand carved cedar walking sticks as well because we knew they went for regular walks and thought it would help their balance. It felt amazing to lavish expensive and heartfelt gifts on them as I has struggled so long with money. I was finally in a place that I could do it. To say the gifts probably totalled in excess of 1K is on the low side, but I was still happy to do it.
Besides the fact that they tried converting my daughter when I wasn’t around, it was a lovely visit. The only problem I had was with a new person my aunt introduced us to. This woman, we’ll call her Dee, ignored me and only talked to my daughter. She was my age if not older, but conversed with my daughter, 17, like I wasn’t there. They traded contact info and Dee insisted that they keep in touch while my daughter was in college. Dee said she was going to keep an eye on her. I thought that was odd, but I did enjoy the feeling of having an extended family sort of since I actually had no family besides my Aunt.
Let’s jump forward to the following year and we were struggling financially. Not horrible, but unable to lavish the gifts that we did the year before. Instead, I created a beautiful aromatherapy candle, some delicious herbal teas and we found a couple of very rare antique tea cups that had amazing value to them (about $100 a piece). We made a basket for her and I decided we would cook for them. (gluten free, soy free, dairy free etc). Our visit went so well, it was great to see them. We just enjoyed hanging out with them and talking. They loved the meal we made for them and the dairy free organic chocolate I made. Everything was great until the day we were leaving. Dee showed up and again ignored me, talked to my daughter and chastised her for getting a pet snake as that was an animal associated with the devil. My daughter is one to push the envelope a bit and said how she wanted to get a tattoo as well, one of a snake. Both my aunt and Dee were shocked and said she should never get a tattoo.. Again related to the devil, I went to the bathroom as I was not involved in the conversation and knew my daughter could hold her own. Little do they know that my daughter is also trans. I told her not to say anything to them just yet. I came back to them talking about how college was going and I thought my aunt and Dee would faint when she said her college roommate was male. She quickly explained that it was fine because he was gay and how awesome he was (he is btw). She quickly realized what I meant when she saw their reaction to him being gay. It wasn’t that she was living with a boy, it was that he was gay and “why did he choose to be gay.” I tried redirecting the conversation a couple of times, but they ignored me.
They finally let it go, but just after Dee left, we were getting ready to depart as well. My aunt returned the basket I made for her (minus the expensive tea cups). She said she could not accept them as they were touched by the devil. Shocked, I asked what she meant. She said that because they came from my store, they carried Satan's influence and she could not have them in our home. Truthfully, I explained that I made those items for her and that the only things that came from the store were the teacups. She was confused why I had gotten upset. When I explained that I gave her a gift and if she didn’t want it, she could regift it or throw it away. That gift came from my heart with all the love I have for her and that I didn't need to know her opinions about the gifts because It insinuated I, myself, was evil and it was extremely hurtful. She basically continued on insisting that I was just not aware of how much Satan had a hold of me. All I could do was tell her how much I loved her and leave.
I didn’t take her calls and cried about this for over a month. I finally felt strong enough to talk to her and again she insisted that because those items touched my hands, they were influenced by satan and she wished I could understand how they just can’t have that influence in their home. Frustrated, I asked how she could shop at grocery stores or buy anything from department stores because she can’t guarantee that those items didn’t touch hands that were influenced by satan. Also , I asked her how they could have eaten the food I prepared for them and why did they even invite me into their home to begin with if that’s the way she felt about me. She suddenly needed to go.
We talked a few times since then but it always came back to religion. At one point I asked her again why she would even invite us to her home if she felt that way. Her response was to save my daughter. The pain and heartache she has inflicted is immense, but I cannot bring myself to argue the point because I’m afraid if I make my point to her, it will break her. She’s in her 80’s and I believe has the beginnings of dementia. Her religion brings her comfort and I don’t want to say anything that might make her doubt her religion at her advanced age.
I’ve decided it is probably best for both of our mental health to stop all contact with her( with the exception of sending cards telling them how much I love them) even though I’ve always seen her as a second mom. AITA for making this decision and not trying to work things out with her or allow her to believe that I still might convert?
*** Please understand this is not a bash on any religion. Everyone has the right to believe in whatever religion they wish. That includes me, so if you feel the need to bash them or me for our spiritual choices, you can move along ***
I have never felt like I needed to hide any part of me from my friends, family, and the public in general. Not until now. Buckle up, this is a bumpy ride.
I've always been kind hearted, almost to a flaw. I took care of my grandmother, my step-dad, my mom and helped with a family friend during long term and terminal illnesses. I had my daughter and, without her father's help, raised her on my own with very little to no support. I helped friends with their farm who left me homeless in the end because I want interested in an extramarital affair. I lost my home and all that I loved including my husband because he lied to me and never paid it mortgage while I was recovering from an illness. In short, I have had a tough life, but it has never made me turn my back on anyone who needed help or in difficult family when they were ignored by the others. That's just some background before I tell you this situation.
Three years ago, after a bout of covid, my daughter was suicidal. She had been in the top three of her HS class and yet at that point almost failed her junior year. Not knowing if she would have the emotional strength to face college and adulting in general, I set up a plan B for her. I started a store in her name and that way she'd have something at least to fall back on if she was unable to function in the m-f 9 to 5 world. We started slow by doing craft fairs, seeking crystals, candles, jewelry, and gifts. We were kicked out of one because the person running it assumed we were witches. She was not wrong exactly as we identified as pagan, but we lived our life closest to the Buddhist and Hindu traditions, not traditional wicca. These were people who knew us for years and were considered acquaintances if not friends.
Our business flourished and we ended up opening our brick and mortar that fall after remodeling our garage/ barn and turning it into a store front. Even though I run it for my daughter, it is hers and we work together to keep it going.
In the past few years I've lost my mom, and two uncles. I have no family besides my mother's sister and her husband which we were pretty close. My aunt knew that I was pagan and had tried recruiting me into her religion since I was 5. Even at that tender age her religion never made sense and I would ask her questions to which she never had answers. I accepted her and respected her and her religion even though I didn't agree. I loved the people she introduced me to that were in her church and I always got along with them. That is until we visited the year after we started our store. My aunt was thrilled about us bringing crystals down and making jewelry with her. We met a new friend of hers (middle aged woman) who ignored me completely and oozed affection on my daughter. She got my daughter's contact info and contacted her frequently. Trying to convert and ”save” her. My daughter wasn't having it as even though she was in a delicate state, she is very level headed and strong willed.
This year we visited and we brought herbal tea, candies, and rare vintage tea cups for my aunt. The day we were leaving, she handed back everything but the vintage tea cups and told me she couldn't accept them because they were touched by Satan (aka made by my hands). To say I was devastated is an understatement. This woman was always like a second mom to me and we had grown closer after my mom passed away. It was a 20 hour drive home and I cried most of the way. I cried for weeks after a well. Thinking of it now still brings me tears. As she was telling me that Satan had a hold on me and that she was trying to save me, all I did was remind her how much I loved her and my uncle. Every time since then that we have talked, she says the same thing, but now she told me I was a lost cause. I feel like trying to stay in touch is detrimental to her mental health ( and my own). I don't want to give up or abandon the last of my family, but I can't talk to her and endure the endless insinuations that I'm evil because I don't believe in her religion. She took a bad fall and broke her arm. The last time we spoke, she talked as if it was my fault for bringing the devil into her home.
While I could usually brush this off as delusional ranting, it hits hard because the same day she fell, my dad died. I know the Powers That Be only give as much as we can handle, I just wish they didn't have so much faith in me.
They are in their 80s. I know in all the pieces of my broken heart that they'll never be able to accept my daughter and I unless we change religions and it has crossed my mind just to say we have to put her at ease, but I can't lie like that to them and we cannot betray ourselves like that either. By
submitted by ElleVB1990 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
I always bragged about how awesome my extended family was. NO family is perfect, but I heard horror stories and always counted my blessings that I had strong ties with my Aunt and uncles since I was raised an only child. That was until a few months ago when my last living Aunt, whom I considered a second mom, shattered me.
Ok, some backstory here. My aunt is a Jehovah’s Witness. Now before you get all judgy, I have always loved her, my uncle and her son with all of my heart. I still do. I respect that they have found faith and live by this code on the daily. I have met many people from their congregation and loved them all (ok, a couple of exceptions). I also appreciate the community they have and love they all show each other. If it weren’t for the religion itself, I would have converted.
I, however, am pagan and have always been since I was about 5 (even the first book I signed out from the school’s library was about witchcraft). Not raised that way, but always found spiritual comfort in nature and the natural world. I have a very strong connection and dedication to my Powers That Be and work every day to help the world be a better place. My Aunt did not know my religion until about 7 years ago. That being said, she and I would have very philosophical conversations when we hung out together. Even at the age of 8, I would listen to her preach to me and ask questions to which she never had answers. I remember her telling me how only 144,000 people would be allowed in heaven and didn’t I think that would be wonderful knowing that our whole family could be together again after we died. We’d all be in heaven if we were all Jehova;s witnesses. I had gone with her many times to do field service (door to door) and asked her why they do that if there’s only a certain number of people allowed. Didn’t that lessen her chances of getting in because I’m sure there were many people more deserving than myself. How did she know for sure she’d be one of the ones to get in and was that fair to keep bringing people into the religion when all the spaces were probably already filled up?
At 8 years old, I had many questions and was just trying to figure these things out. Since she was an adult, I figured she had the answers. My questions were not with malice, just for a want of better understanding. When she didn’t have the answers, I'd ask my mother and grandmother. While they were extremely amused, they said they never understood either. They never said anything bad about her or her attempts to get them to convert, just allowed me to explore religion and spirituality as I wished so I could make my own decision of what was right for me.
Once I was an adult, I avoided talking to her about religion, but found that if I didn’t ask questions and just let her talk, it made her happy. I know she’s a good person at heart and that’s all that matters. After my Mom passed, my aunt and I talked almost every week. I loved talking to her and she became even more like a mom to me. She gave me encouragement and we supported each other through health and emotional crises. I’d make it a point to try and visit at least once a year for a few days so she could visit with my daughter and I. We’d always do lunch with her friends and I loved it. I fell in love with some of the people in her congregation and wished we could live closer to hang out more. I, however, never wavered on my spiritual beliefs, but I have never cared about the religion, race, or sexuality of anyone. If we got along, we were friends and that was that.
My aunt and I had come to an understanding that I would not convert and that we would love and respect each other regardless. Religious talk was off the table for the most part until both of my uncles (my aunt’s two brothers) passed and she had a very hard time dealing with it. She was the last surviving sibling and she was sinking into a depression. I’d talk to her at length and listen to her as she mourned the fact that she would never have contact with them (and my mom) in heaven because they never converted. When she asked me what I believed, I told her that I believed that the soul lived on after the body died and that I believed in reincarnation. I explained my beliefs were closer to hindu and buddhism than christianity (so she had context). We had very long talks and she expressed that she respected my views and actually found comfort in talking with me.
That was until my daughter and I opened our store about 3 years ago. It’s a metaphysical shop and we have crystals, teas, gifts, jewelry, candles and more (about 10% strict;y pagan). My aunt was happy for us until it dawned on her that we might sell pagan stuff. I told her what we sold and she asked me if I was a witch. I replied that I suppose that was one way to describe me, but, again, I considered myself spiritual and that I followed a path closer to buddhism, hinduism, native american. I sent a couple of pictures of the jewelry that we made and she said when we came down, we should bring the jewelry making.
We did, I brought down our best crystals to wrap and bracelet materials and my daughter and I made her a necklace with a very expensive stone (A $200 piece). She brought her friends over and they picked out crystals that they wanted, made bracelets and such. We had fun and I was happy to do it, though I wasn’t expecting people that I had never met before. Still, we had fun. My daughter and I also brought her a basket with local items from our hometown, (Raw honey, handmade stoneware mugs, cutting board, herbal tea and some other items made by us as well) She was thrilled. My aunt and uncle had taken a couple of bad falls a few months before and so my daughter and I made them hand carved cedar walking sticks as well because we knew they went for regular walks and thought it would help their balance. It felt amazing to lavish expensive and heartfelt gifts on them as I has struggled so long with money. I was finally in a place that I could do it. To say the gifts probably totalled in excess of 1K is on the low side, but I was still happy to do it.
Besides the fact that they tried converting my daughter when I wasn’t around, it was a lovely visit. The only problem I had was with a new person my aunt introduced us to. This woman, we’ll call her Dee, ignored me and only talked to my daughter. She was my age if not older, but conversed with my daughter, 17, like I wasn’t there. They traded contact info and Dee insisted that they keep in touch while my daughter was in college. Dee said she was going to keep an eye on her. I thought that was odd, but I did enjoy the feeling of having an extended family sort of since I actually had no family besides my Aunt.
Let’s jump forward to the following year and we were struggling financially. Not horrible, but unable to lavish the gifts that we did the year before. Instead, I created a beautiful aromatherapy candle, some delicious herbal teas and we found a couple of very rare antique tea cups that had amazing value to them (about $100 a piece). We made a basket for her and I decided we would cook for them. (gluten free, soy free, dairy free etc). Our visit went so well, it was great to see them. We just enjoyed hanging out with them and talking. They loved the meal we made for them and the dairy free organic chocolate I made. Everything was great until the day we were leaving. Dee showed up and again ignored me, talked to my daughter and chastised her for getting a pet snake as that was an animal associated with the devil. My daughter is one to push the envelope a bit and said how she wanted to get a tattoo as well, one of a snake. Both my aunt and Dee were shocked and said she should never get a tattoo.. Again related to the devil, I went to the bathroom as I was not involved in the conversation and knew my daughter could hold her own. Little do they know that my daughter is also trans. I told her not to say anything to them just yet. I came back to them talking about how college was going and I thought my aunt and Dee would faint when she said her college roommate was male. She quickly explained that it was fine because he was gay and how awesome he was (he is btw). She quickly realized what I meant when she saw their reaction to him being gay. It wasn’t that she was living with a boy, it was that he was gay and “why did he choose to be gay.” I tried redirecting the conversation a couple of times, but they ignored me.
They finally let it go, but just after Dee left, we were getting ready to depart as well. My aunt returned the basket I made for her (minus the expensive tea cups). She said she could not accept them as they were touched by the devil. Shocked, I asked what she meant. She said that because they came from my store, they carried Satan's influence and she could not have them in our home. Truthfully, I explained that I made those items for her and that the only things that came from the store were the teacups. She was confused why I had gotten upset. When I explained that I gave her a gift and if she didn’t want it, she could regift it or throw it away. That gift came from my heart with all the love I have for her and that I didn't need to know her opinions about the gifts because It insinuated I, myself, was evil and it was extremely hurtful. She basically continued on insisting that I was just not aware of how much Satan had a hold of me. All I could do was tell her how much I loved her and leave.
I didn’t take her calls and cried about this for over a month. I finally felt strong enough to talk to her and again she insisted that because those items touched my hands, they were influenced by satan and she wished I could understand how they just can’t have that influence in their home. Frustrated, I asked how she could shop at grocery stores or buy anything from department stores because she can’t guarantee that those items didn’t touch hands that were influenced by satan. Also , I asked her how they could have eaten the food I prepared for them and why did they even invite me into their home to begin with if that’s the way she felt about me. She suddenly needed to go.
We talked a few times since then but it always came back to religion. At one point I asked her again why she would even invite us to her home if she felt that way. Her response was to save my daughter. The pain and heartache she has inflicted is immense, but I cannot bring myself to argue the point because I’m afraid if I make my point to her, it will break her. She’s in her 80’s and I believe has the beginnings of dementia. Her religion brings her comfort and I don’t want to say anything that might make her doubt her religion at her advanced age.
I’ve decided it is probably best for both of our mental health to stop all contact with her( with the exception of sending cards telling them how much I love them) even though I’ve always seen her as a second mom. AITA for making this decision and not trying to work things out with her or allow her to believe that I still might convert?
*** Please understand this is not a bash on any religion. Everyone has the right to believe in whatever religion they wish. That includes me, so if you feel the need to bash them or me for our spiritual choices, you can move along ***
I have never felt like I needed to hide any part of me from my friends, family, and the public in general. Not until now. Buckle up, this is a bumpy ride.
I've always been kind hearted, almost to a flaw. I took care of my grandmother, my step-dad, my mom and helped with a family friend during long term and terminal illnesses. I had my daughter and, without her father's help, raised her on my own with very little to no support. I helped friends with their farm who left me homeless in the end because I want interested in an extramarital affair. I lost my home and all that I loved including my husband because he lied to me and never paid it mortgage while I was recovering from an illness. In short, I have had a tough life, but it has never made me turn my back on anyone who needed help or in difficult family when they were ignored by the others. That's just some background before I tell you this situation.
Three years ago, after a bout of covid, my daughter was suicidal. She had been in the top three of her HS class and yet at that point almost failed her junior year. Not knowing if she would have the emotional strength to face college and adulting in general, I set up a plan B for her. I started a store in her name and that way she'd have something at least to fall back on if she was unable to function in the m-f 9 to 5 world. We started slow by doing craft fairs, seeking crystals, candles, jewelry, and gifts. We were kicked out of one because the person running it assumed we were witches. She was not wrong exactly as we identified as pagan, but we lived our life closest to the Buddhist and Hindu traditions, not traditional wicca. These were people who knew us for years and were considered acquaintances if not friends.
Our business flourished and we ended up opening our brick and mortar that fall after remodeling our garage/ barn and turning it into a store front. Even though I run it for my daughter, it is hers and we work together to keep it going.
In the past few years I've lost my mom, and two uncles. I have no family besides my mother's sister and her husband which we were pretty close. My aunt knew that I was pagan and had tried recruiting me into her religion since I was 5. Even at that tender age her religion never made sense and I would ask her questions to which she never had answers. I accepted her and respected her and her religion even though I didn't agree. I loved the people she introduced me to that were in her church and I always got along with them. That is until we visited the year after we started our store. My aunt was thrilled about us bringing crystals down and making jewelry with her. We met a new friend of hers (middle aged woman) who ignored me completely and oozed affection on my daughter. She got my daughter's contact info and contacted her frequently. Trying to convert and ”save” her. My daughter wasn't having it as even though she was in a delicate state, she is very level headed and strong willed.
This year we visited and we brought herbal tea, candies, and rare vintage tea cups for my aunt. The day we were leaving, she handed back everything but the vintage tea cups and told me she couldn't accept them because they were touched by Satan (aka made by my hands). To say I was devastated is an understatement. This woman was always like a second mom to me and we had grown closer after my mom passed away. It was a 20 hour drive home and I cried most of the way. I cried for weeks after a well. Thinking of it now still brings me tears. As she was telling me that Satan had a hold on me and that she was trying to save me, all I did was remind her how much I loved her and my uncle. Every time since then that we have talked, she says the same thing, but now she told me I was a lost cause. I feel like trying to stay in touch is detrimental to her mental health ( and my own). I don't want to give up or abandon the last of my family, but I can't talk to her and endure the endless insinuations that I'm evil because I don't believe in her religion. She took a bad fall and broke her arm. The last time we spoke, she talked as if it was my fault for bringing the devil into her home.
While I could usually brush this off as delusional ranting, it hits hard because the same day she fell, my dad died. I know the Powers That Be only give as much as we can handle, I just wish they didn't have so much faith in me.
They are in their 80s. I know in all the pieces of my broken heart that they'll never be able to accept my daughter and I unless we change religions and it has crossed my mind just to say we have to put her at ease, but I can't lie like that to them and we cannot betray ourselves like that either. By
2024.05.14 17:04 whatagoodpupper Any possible link between these symptoms / neuropathies?
Hi!
I am a 32F , 5’7” tall, about 130lbs, Caucasian, live in Canada. Current medications include tylenol/ibuprofen, prucalopride (for GI motility) and birth control. Attending regular physiotherapy for multiple conditions. Symptoms began around 2016 and have progressed since.
I have a pretty intolerable combination of symptoms at the moment - I’m seeing different specialists for each condition, but I’m wondering if there might be something connecting my symptoms that’s being missed. I really would welcome any ideas, because this absolutely sucks - life is coming to a standstill at this point.
I realize I could definitely just be unlucky to have multiple things happening here (and I get that the stress of being sick with one condition could exacerbate another). But I don’t really have anyone who is looking at the big picture - is there any sign that there could be something going on connecting these symptoms?
Thanks for your insight!
submitted by whatagoodpupper to DiagnoseMe [link] [comments]
I am a 32F , 5’7” tall, about 130lbs, Caucasian, live in Canada. Current medications include tylenol/ibuprofen, prucalopride (for GI motility) and birth control. Attending regular physiotherapy for multiple conditions. Symptoms began around 2016 and have progressed since.
I have a pretty intolerable combination of symptoms at the moment - I’m seeing different specialists for each condition, but I’m wondering if there might be something connecting my symptoms that’s being missed. I really would welcome any ideas, because this absolutely sucks - life is coming to a standstill at this point.
- trigeminal nerve pain and numbness along the trigeminal distribution - this comes and goes but sticks around for days or weeks once it starts. Right side only…wildly painful
- increased migraine frequency - about 1-2 per month, used to get 1-2 per year
- chronic pelvic pain, more recently confirmed involvement of the pudendal nerve. Pain and periodic numbness along the PN distribution, mostly left side…also wildly painful!
- burning left shoulder / upper back pain, L side
- random numbness / tingling in lower limbs, both sides, not following any specific distribution that I can tell
- periods of mild urinary incontinence or retention
- chronic constipation, treatment resistant
- potentially endometriosis, adenomyosis - waiting for laparoscopy
- maxillary and mandibular recession and cant, tmj disorder both sides
- quite severe silent reflux
- waves of severe fatigue, flu like symptoms, systemic joint pain (elbows, wrists, knees hot, red, and painful) - was happening once per month and now less frequently, maybe once every 3 months
- Thygeson’s disease diagnosed in R eye
I realize I could definitely just be unlucky to have multiple things happening here (and I get that the stress of being sick with one condition could exacerbate another). But I don’t really have anyone who is looking at the big picture - is there any sign that there could be something going on connecting these symptoms?
Thanks for your insight!