General vent/ thought post
First I just want to say thanks to everyone to helps me and gives me that little bit of euphoria I need to reassure myself. Every comment I get just using my new name makes me so happy. As I’ve thought longer and longer I feel more sure but I have a feeling worries I still get stuck on. I worry more that im just a femboy that can’t differ feeling from being. And I worry that I will never pass or look the way I want. I can’t take hrt right now and won’t be able to for a while. I’m also worried that I’m just young and confusing one thing for another. I do experience genuine joy and feel so much better when someone calls me a girl or Sophie. Even when some random person on Roblox calls me a girl because of my avatar. I do genuinely worry that this is a phase, and also experience such a disconnect from my current body that it feels like I’m just piloting someone else. It feels weird having to use he/him for myself with friends and in public and my voice really messes with me sometimes. I also realized that I never really feel male ever. When I’m doubting or just going through my day to day life I feel like im just a person. I used to never really think about gender, I just did what I had to because I was born this way so I had to. Every day my choice on the simple button question gets more sure, and when I put thought into it I just wish I could really press that button. Now I don’t know if I will always feel that way, and I still worry that it’s just a passing fantasy that will pass by and I’ll just be a man the rest of my life. Thinking about that scares me. I just hate the way I am. I also worry that it’s not gender dysphoria, and just body dysphoria. I know a lot of this is jumbled and contradictory but that’s how I feel right now lol. I love all of you and hope you all have a wonderful day!

Is it okay to feel lonely even after you have someone special in your life? Maybe it's okay right ? Because I don't have many people around me it's just my family 1-3 friends and one person to whom I used to share everything... I love when the people give me attention.. I'm not a attention seeker though... I just want to be people's priority if they told me that I'm important...
But recently, The people I used to share my thoughts and everything is not acting right ... They know I don't like when someone don't give me time or don't put efforts into the relation in which they are with me.. it can be friendship, relationship or family relation ...
I genuinely don't care about myself.. if someone to whom I adore the most told me ' I will be back late you can sleep ,don't wait ' I still mess with my sleep schedule waiting for that person.... I want them to understand that they have to put same and much efforts like I'm doing!!
But instead I don't get anything.. at the end I'm always alone ... The intersting thing here is that , whenever I told or shared someone that I'm alone ... They just replied ' you have someone already, are you stupid to call yourself alone ?'
Soo... "IS IT OKAY TO FEEL LONELY EVEN AFTER YOU HAVE SOMEONE SPECIAL IN YOU LIFE ?"
View Poll

My most recent psychosis occurred due to a number of underlying reasons that I was dealing with over a 6-8 week period and was mostly delusional.
The lead up to it - I had just finished the largest engineering project that I had been working on for two years,. My wife and I were having a very difficult and stressful time, with disagreements all the time.
My body was yelling and screaming for help and I could feel it from deep down inside me. I went to see doctors and psychologists but it didn't do it for me.. A childhood friend then passed away and that tipped me over.. All of a sudden I was placing myself in my friends place and I had all these questions that I had for myself.
I took a few days off work in the hope that it would get better, however, as I returned I just felt exhausted and overcooked. That's when I started to lose it... Note that I wasn't doing any hard drugs at the time, nor was I drinking, but in that upleading week, I was having the occasional nitrous oxide (N20) cannisters.
I went to get my tarot cards read upon returning to work (first time). The lady who conducted the card reading told me to choose the cards when "I feel the energy above the deck".. I actually felt the cards drawing my hand closer to them. I received the following cards, all of which seemed were of major importance to me: (1) Stand your Ground, (2) Hope, (3) Foundation & Achievements, (4) Base Chakra, (5) The Waiting Game, (6) Third Eye Chakra, (7) Love Begins, (8) Spiritual Union, (9) Intuition, (10) Conquer & Defeat.
..That night I went for a walk, I saw a shooting star - it was the first time that I had seen one and was so beautiful. I rushed into tell my wife about the tarot cards and the shooting star.. we both broke down in tears. Later on that evening I would tune into Youtube, and learn more about finance, investing, life, philosophy and music - all of which were major interests in my life.
The next morning I woke up and got ready to go to work. I couldn't help myself but start crying when all of my songs came on. Notorious BIG - Juicy: "Born sinner, the opposite of a winner, remember when I used to eat sardines for dinner".. I had sardines for dinner growing up too, and I could literally taste my mothers sardine dish in my mouth while the song was playing... As I raced onto the highway, it felt as though I was so connected to everything. I rolled the windows down and felt the air around me...The number plates around me "8SAMA" - which I had a feeling that there was going to be a terrorist attack occurring in the not too distant future. "FX Silver" - I was speculating with precious metals back at that time and thought it was a sign that due to the terror attack, silver was going to increase in price. "IDK IDK" - I was listening to the song I don't know by Tion Wayne, Stormzy, etc. the night before my psychosis.. Everything around me was providing me with signs and nothing was a coincidence. It felt like I was enlightened or something?
I called my brother in the morning who lived abroad, he said that he was being overworked and stressed out. He wanted to head to New York for new years eve and I immediately told him not to go as something bad was going to happen. When I went back into the office, I felt as though there would be some kind of market correction before the terror event occured, so I tried to sell all of my crypto, the only problem was, when I entered all of my key seed phrases, one of them somehow disappeared and I could no longer access my crypto wallet. That was when everything cracked further.. I thought the government was onto me as I had put all the pieces of the puzzle together and started to warn people around me.
I grabbed my manager from the office and told him I needed to speak to them. I wanted to come clean with everything that had happened. During this time I felt at peace and in this blissful place. I was seeing visual signs of things from my past which were interacting with my present moment .. it felt like everything around me was staged. I came clean to the manager and told them that I had been struggling at work, and using drugs and alcohol to cope, I said that it also put so much strain on my relationship and my wife was going to leave me. At this time it felt like the police had wire tapped my manager and everything I was saying was going on record. I was trying to outsmart him with every question that they had for me and it was like I was playing 4d chess in my head. We spent close to 2.5 hours talking about my situation -at every stage I was waiting for when the popo were going to pop out and arrest me.
My wife had been contacted and came to pick me up. She took me back home, but while I went home I thought that our house had been bugged and wired. To me our neighbours were acting odd, and so many things were working in my head, I just didn't know how to relax and calm down. The next day I was taken to my parents place, and I initially started by doing a little bit of exercise, I still felt as though the police were after me and I had something to prove to the world. I then had a panic attack, where I legitimately felt as though I couldn't breathe, my wife and family rushed me to the emergency department at the hospital, and I was met with a psychiatrist who put me on a large dose of antipsychotic medication. Don't know where I'd be without my wife to support me through everything.
I then came back and rested. Slowly but surely I started to realise that I had just experienced a psychotic episode that lasted for several days. Following this event, I had a major depressive episode, which took months for me to recover, and approximately one year later I am in a better place mentally, but I am still not 100 %.
It turns out I have a family history of this sort of bullshit that nobody told me about, and being exposed to drugs and alcohol would only increase the risk of any symptoms. I've been off all the drugs and attempting to stop alcohol, and live a more holistic, natural life. Let's see what happens. For anyone dealing newly dealing with it or in the process of recovering, it gets better. Keep your head up.
<3

Just After starting my second year of college I wanted to know the rullings on how someone can do their assighments . There was a lot of speaking from my friends about how using chatgpt is cheating. I asked Pearson and they told me that it isn't cheating, that in an of it self is another lesson on not trusting ignorant people in life.
So after comming to realise that the exam boards ( I don't know about other exam boards)aren't testing your ability to search something on the Internet and collect data. (which is what I belived ) but rather they just want you to know the information ( that is correct off course )
My problem is whether or not chatgpt is suffiencent to be used in universities and if it is prohibited . I highly belive i'am not the only one who struggles to get it to say things the way i want it to say.
I know this part is a bit of a curve ball but. I know that I have ADHD ( for many reasons) , I haven't gotten diagnosed yet. As much as I feel the urge to explain my self because of the small feeling of irritation at the back of my head due to me thinking of the people who belive that I'am just saying this because 'i forget things' or generic things like that.
the people who are knolagable about this know why I've just mentioned adhd. I despise doing assighments Via diffrent websites. I have literally asked God for help before revising. Dont know how to explain but it just feels like my body is having an elergic reaction. But without getting into it too much and to get back to topic. In essence I 'am mentioning this right now because I'am looking for alternatives
I don't know why but I have a feeling that there are going to be mean comments on this. So please spare me the negative energy if the intent to do so
And also my perants prohibit me from speaking to people online directly, other wise , I would love to have a conversation.

I took the Behind The Wheel test today at San Jose DMV and I think it’d be a good idea to share my experience step by step for those who’s still concerned about the test.
I arrived at the DMV around 20 minutes earlier than my appointment. It was around 3pm, but my local DMV got packed with people, I couldn’t find a parking spot so I had to spend like 15 minutes or so driving in circles to find a spot. It was chaotic. An advice I would definitely give to someone who’s going to the test soon is to park somewhere near DMV (a park or a shop) and walk there to get your paper done then walk back to get the car if you know your DMV is busy. It wouldn’t take much effort to do so and you wouldn’t have to be stressed out before the test worrying about parking lots.
At the receptionist I was asked to confirm my appointment (by name and/or phone number only, my DMV didn’t provide me with a confirmation code so I just showed up and told them my name). Then you will hand them your paper (in my case it was driver’s permit, the yellow slip and that was it). I brought my ID too just in case, but they didn’t ask for that. They would hand you your papers back with a grading paper for your examiner to grade all in a packet. I was instructed to place that packet on my dashboard and drive to the driveway where I’d meet up with my examiner.
After doing as instructed, I pulled up to the drive way and meet my examiner. The examiner was kind, he first asked for my name and my date of birth. Then after the passenger (who drive me to the DMV) leave the car, I was asked basic questions on how to run the car: the horn first, then signal control, windshield control, emergency light, emergency brake, defrost, hand signals. After that, I was told to turn on the car (IMPORTANT: NOT THE ENGINE) to check if my signal lights both in the front and the back were working properly. Then the examiner went into the passenger seat and the drive test began.
It was easier than I expected. I was told to drive out of DMV and enter the neighborhood first. The first part of the route was full of stop signs (it’s really important to check if it was 4 stop signs or 2 stop signs), I came to a complete stop and count 1,2 seconds before continue driving. Please act like you always check the surroundings! Every time the examiner gave out an instruction, I always responded: “Okay”, “Uhm hm”, “Got it”, etc. I don’t really know if it would help but it’s nice to communicate and let the examiner knows that you heard them right, it’s also less awkward because the atmosphere inside the car is real SILENCED if you ask. The rest of the route was downtown streets, my town’s downtown streets is pretty narrow and has a couple of one-way streets so I made sure to not speed up too fast and always look in the right direction of traffic when crossing or turning. I had to change lanes for 3 or 4 times, remember CHECKING MIRRORS AND BLIND SPOTS, SIGNALING, SPEEDING UP TO PASS, TURNING OFF SINGAL. I forgot to turn off my signal after changing, it was not a big mistake but it would be nice to avoid that. My test didn’t have the pull over and back up part, I guess it was because my test was right at rush hours and it was hard to find a spot that was good enough for back up. After around 15 minutes or so of driving (I really didn’t notice how long it took since I was too focused on how to drive right), we came back to DMV and I was told to park in any reserved spot. The examiner immediately told me I passed the test or not. I did pass and he also gave some recommendations on improving the driving skills.
Then I bring the papers that he gave back to me to the receptionist or whatever we’d call it (the same spot where I confirmed my appointment). At this point, if you’re really dissatisfied with your mug shot on the permit like I did, you can ask to retake the picture. Keep in mind that they would bring their manager over to talk to you. They would ask for a reason, so if you decide to do this prepare a good reason beforehand. I chose to say my appearance changed a lot (it was my falsies lashes to be honest) and I couldn’t recognize myself so I wanted a new pic. The manger was nice enough to say yes to my request and I was sent to the line for picture. This part took a LONG time, longer the my actual drive test. After forever, I went to see the receptionist once again and they gave me my Interim license, which was only a printed paper with your license ID on it if you ask me. And I didn’t have to pay for anything, which was a surprise cause I expected to pay. After all that, I was good to go.
I know this is getting so long but to sum it up, I think I would give some advices: 1. Arrive early and park elsewhere if DMV is busy. 2. Be nice to the examiner, DO NOT talk a lot to them, DO be responsive and respectful. 3. Prepare a reason if you want to retake the mug shot.
Note: You can use your interim license to purchase insurance or something like that, I did ask the receptionist so this is real.
In the end, just be confident and drive like you know what’s going on. Ima be real, if someone ever tell you the test is really hard, don’t trust them: DMV wants you to pass and they are not going to test what’s outside of the norm. I hope this is helpful and also I wish you a successful drive test!!!!!!!

I’m dating the greatest man I’ve ever met. Like… first time someone has made my life easier and happier and it’s awesome.
For some back ground- I’m a full time rock vocalist and I run a personal training business. One of my passions is fashion (lol) for obvious reasons. I grew up in a really abusive home where I wasn’t allowed much self expression so I love it now.
BF is a chef and we are both gym junkies. He pretty much perpetually wears gym clothes which is FINE. It’s almost annoying how good he looks all the time. BUT since we’ve been dating he’s been asking my opinion on how to take care of his skin better, hair styles and he’s talked to me about fashion a time or two. I never push it, I never ask, but I’ll always help.
Here’s the question. We have some events coming up that aren’t fancy but do need a little more pizzazz if you will. I see so many outfits/ideas that would look AMAZING on him from hair to fashion but I always feel weird sending it cause I never want him to feel like I don’t find him attractive cause I DO. Gym clothes just don’t necessarily work in certain environments.
Men, would you be bothered if your girl sent something and said “you’d look great in this? Or bought you something new? Or how would you want that topic approached?
Ladies- how have you handled this issue in relationships? He has asked me stuff about it before but I just know that it took me so long to be comfortable enough with style I never want to Make him feel bad.

A conversation with a few friends of mine some skins have certain audiences to them and certain people will pick them more than others that's just the nature of people, and sometimes these people can be fit into certain groups, and certain stereotypes which is also nature of people.
So I will be talking about these stereotypes, with 4-8 champs at a time depending on how many skins they have, starting with- Not androxus- but some general skin types etc.
Let me start off by saying that stereotypes are broad, and over generalized by nature, and not everyone is the same we're not Buzz Lightyear here, at the very least these are meant for fun.

Basic Recolours

The recolours you can buy for gold often attract semi-new players those that got the champions they like and often will spend "extra" gold on recolours.
They're most likely new at the game, or at the very least their champion.
Certain recolours will be brought up again per champion if they add anything different or have a different stereotype.

System Recolours/Promotional Recolours

So these guys probably are more likely to be even newer than the basic recolours since they got them from linking accounts or following/subscribing to different social media and all that.

Mastery/Gold Skins

Assuming it's gold they're probably confident in their skill with a champion and want to display that, but with the obsidian and cosmic ones they tend to be the same as basic and promotional recolours.

Invitational/Event Recolours

Okay so we're done with recolours after this I promise but often these are old school players, often ignoring the actual quality of skins to more say that's when they were around.

Hats

Hats are kinda the same as the event/invitation recolours but they can also be found on new players who got the hat from a chest, in general if they have a proper skin they'll dump these for the skin so at the very least that leaves semi experienced players who finds the frog hat more funny than they do the cowboy cool.

Androxus

It's fair to say that Android is the poster boy of paladins and since he's relatively old he's got a lot of skins over the years and he's got quite the audience, I mean really he's the guy they show on the splash art of the game like imagine little Timmy seeing his older brother playing Androgenous "Who's the cool guy with the revolver and horns?" And his brother is like "That's my main Abolitionist" and then next game Timmy is playing Angrosist.
And they're very against nerfs every time pretending it'll kill Ambrosia and every time he's just fine maybe the fact he's got a solid baseline kit means he's not struggling when nerfs come knocking. Either way it doesn't stop the complaints.
Often Anglo players take themselves seriously, whether you should depends, and depends alot. But he does inevitably attract edgelords, assholes, and blowhards.

Exalted

Exalted Andros tend to hold themselves in high regard but at the same time tend to suck, they bought this skin since it was cheap and with it are often not that great.

Imperator

So imperator is basically the same as exalted in looks but it does have the caveat that it's actually not as readily available which means someone has to make a active choice to run this, these guys are pretty much more for simplicity and class over complexity and fancy stuff, this means you'll see them play pretty good Andro where they'll stick to the stuff that works rather than flashy montage worthy stuff, they can do these but they more prefer understated competency over flashy nonsense.

Screech

This is a hat that actually has a stereotype since it's not apart of a chest it's from the deal of the day that makes a difference to who is using it. These guys are mostly raging blowhards, they think they're gods at the game but they're not as good as they believe, like antlers they say crap but not enough to get banned. This changes to just normal tryhards when they get their hands on shattermaw, almost every Andro with this skin and shattermaw are more interested in shitting on you and moving on to the next, they really only do really good in casuals without comms, but they can get work done in ranked.

Cangaceiro

Okay so this guy either uses the Shatter Maw and same deal as Screech Andro's or they run they Huntsman's gun and if you get to talk to them in a party or something they'll cry about how the pirate skins in Paladins Strike aren't ported over to paladins. It's weird and it's specific. They do tend to be nicer and less serious than Screech Andros.

Huntsman

These are the most average Andro's in existence, they certainly exist but they're not too interesting all considering. They're not bad or good, or particularly toxic or nice or anything like that, they just exist.

Steam Demon

I mean there's a Young Frankenstein joke to be made here. But Andro's running the steam demon skin tend to be uptight and expect people to carry their own weight... Of course the chance they tend to mess up they go silent, they're not rude perse but they sure do expect a lot.

Fallen

These are the guys who listened to Nightcore- Angel with a shotgun too much and will be very melodramatic, and tend to be almost always a downer for the team, they do clutch up though so something to be said.

Battlesuit Godslayer

No one really uses this skin if they have others, really this skin doesn't sell the gundam vibes the others do maybe it's because of his waistcost flowing back there but really he just looks like a guy in a robot suit

Steelforged/Dragonforged

These Andros are just as dramatic as Fallen Andros but they seem to be in on the joke and often will more be self aware, they will be playing like some viking bagpipe metal music so it's not all good with them.

Avatar

These guys probably blame their support and will unironically quots the skin, not realizing it's making fun of them. They also probably are tickled by the fact it looks likr a Xbox 360

Modded

Now often with battlepass skins their recolours are basically the same stereotype normally but for Modded these guys have basically brain rotten themselves down to the same level with their obsession with RGB lights.

Exterminate

Yeah another skin no one uses really, unless they're really interested in the cat in his backpack otherwise it's just not really a great skin since it's just a guy in a dragon ball z kai uniform without the cool ass powers and literal royalty free music.

Grave Danger

This is Kinda like omen it's not as self aware but it's hard to take this skin more seriously than default and these guys tend to be chill but it's a newer skin so it's not exactly like there's room to have a stereotype yet, which is fair but still other skins still have stereotypes that formed same day as their release.

Golden

Now it's rare that a gold skin that doesn't change something about a character shows up but this is widespread since every Andro on earth who runs this will almost always have a bloated ego, whether it's 50 or 550 these guys are super quick to be offended and will tunnel the shit out of you for just about anything.

Ash

Ash is weirdly uncommon despite being free, probably because everyone is running at point with her and she basically loses that engagement to every proper point tank, she is a offtank first and foremost after all.
As for stereotypes there is a few thing that I've noticed with Ash's (Ashes? Ashs? Ash players) First is if they're running the default voice pack even with other skins they're definitely offtanking.
And another oddity is the Ash mains that have more than one skin tend to never properly match their weapons and skins up, it's weird but every other Ash main I see runs a different weapon and skin.

Heirloom Crest

So I bring this hat up because unlike anyone else with a hat skin no one wears this, honestly it should just come with a different version of Ronin but really this is the exception to the hatskin rule, these guys are just new players who got it from a chest and felt justified in using it because they spent crystals on a chest.

Ronin

Ronin Ash players kinda just suck, it can be a matter of many different things as to why these guys struggle, they could suck at shooting people, they could be bad at positioning, trying to point tank, they're using their abilities at shit times, they could be great with all of that and still they'll have a terrible deck and talents.
These guys just suck

Xenobuster

Xenobuster Ash players tend to run into fights they shouldn't and lose, this more or less comes from the overuse of shoulder bash, otherwise they're probably running knock back spam, they're most likely to be found on TDM Throne or Abyss trying to wait around corners to throw you off. They will go spastic if you buy sentinel.

Street Style

These guys are meatheats, they're less interested in actually capturing the point and more just want teamfights, the objective and space are biproducts, as such you'll see these guys with really selfish buys, and decks, and they'll steal kills with slugshot, they're not doing it intentionally but they are rude.

Ska'Drin

Ska'Drin Ash players often properly play Ash as offtank and for the most part are good sports, it's nice enough at least when these guys are working with you, they will probably ask for someone to point tank while they do their thing.

Scorned

Another recolour with a different stereotype, these guys are also playing Ash as offtanks but their also raging assholes, and will bitch and moan from just about anything, whether it's their fault or not they'll yell at their team, though at the same time they are probably making space, and do their job well enough

Draconian Huntress

As mentioned earlier Ash mains tend to be rather rare, and the amount of people who'd go out of their way for this skin is rarer, these guys pretty much are guaranteed to be Ash mains or at the very least skin collectors. As for gameplay it's hard to say since I've seen like 4 people use this skin

Atlas

Atlas mains are pretty much obsessed with telling you they're Atlas mains it's like telling people you don't play fortnite or something. Like good on you mate, but I and I'm pretty sure most of the world don't really care. Skill ranges wildly and skins for the most part don't really change that.

Chronomancer

So uh this skin no one uses, you'll more likely find a Atlas running default with this Skin's gun, it's weird it's specific and I have no idea why it's like this... Oh yeah because Atlas looks awful without a beard.

Legionnaire

So Legionnaire Atlas is kinda a situation like Grave Danger Andro mostly because the skin again looks kind of goofy, though for the effort put into it, it's at least nice. Still these guys take themselves just as seriously as the skin does.

Corrupt/Vile

Most of these guys just suck like sure there's bound to be a good Corrupt or Vile Atlas out there but every one I've seen just sucks. It's a bloody shame since they're nice skins.

Azaan

Azaan doesn't really have too many skins to talk about but at the same time most people aren't exactly Azaan mains he's kind of a back pocket kind of champion.

Forgemaster

These guys actually main Azaan, and they're quick to get defensive on why they pick the shirtless Azaan skin

Dark Drake

I don't get how anyone understands this skin, it's so garbled and just nonsense, there's no real stereotype but I did find out that this skin has the same voice actor as Freddy Fazbear...

Barik

Again Barik mains are a rarity and, nost of the time I only really see last/bottom picks grabbing Barik and doing really nothing all game but cry about their team not carrying them.

Hi-Tek/Stonecut

If a champion has access to their pre-reworks skins and in general just older skins they're often on the cheaper side and really are just bought by newbies due to this, that's really it outside of the odd end nastolgia tripper.

Team Fortress 2

So you get this skin in a way that's similar to promotional recolours, and it's more or less exclusive to steam, it's a safe bet that a TF2 Barik is new at the game and on steam, that's it.

Swashbuckler

Pirate skins often invite people into running teams of pirates skins, outside of that Swashbuckler Bariks tend to more or less the point jockey they live on the point they die on the point.

Steel/Dragon Forged Barik

This guy listens to diggy diggy hole and probably runs some stupid deck that relies on a gimmick these guys are here for fun and will probably do something cool, maybe?

Betty

Betty is new-ish and so she only has the one skin, Betty kinda is the easy version of both Willo and Dredge without the impact of either, this means Betty attracts bad players.

Dragonette

Bowsette meme aside this is Betty's only real skin and so it's kinda broad to say anything but I assume once she gets something else it'll attract... A certain audience.
So yeah 5 champs, feel free to suggest anything for future champions I'll probably see or agree with them.

Im off for summer break, and im back in my hometown after a year of college. I made an entirely new group of friends during that year, and talking to them has been the best that that’s happened to me.
Recently, I keep getting into my head about how I’m not that important to them. They typically talk to each other about different issues (home life matters, relationship issues, school life worries, etc), but I have to hear everything second hand from my boyfriend who’s also in the group. I’m never someone that anyone goes to for support, which makes me feel incredibly left out.
I don’t know how to change this mindset, since I’m probably overreacting. Any advice? Anyone’s free to ask questions too if it helps
I want to cut friends off even if they’ve done nothing wrong. How can I fix this idea?

Here is the original post. Rather innocuous, it details a video Nerd City had made regarding the recent SSSniperwolf drama.
The OP OP started this chain of events by asking about the lore behind Nerd City, and why there is some animosity towards his channel.

Commentor 1: "I'm a bit out of the loop on Nerd City, what exactly did he do?"
Commentor 2: "All I'm familiar with is he got really into NFTs. He made a whole video talking about this huge NFT scam and how these guys were manipulating gullible people into buying low quality worthless crap, and then he ended it with, "And that's why you should all buy my NFT's, which are actually good because I'm definitely not scamming you."

Little did we know, this comment here had started a ticking time bomb. As if a Humvee driving through the deserts of the Arabian peninsula, unaware of what lurks beneath the sand, Nerd City stumbles upon this landmine of a comment 36 days later, and chaos ensues.

Nerd City: "Do you struggle with nuance in every subject, it's all just binary to you? What about genders, I bet you understand this spectrum, no?"

Completely incredulous to the fact that someone would reply to a pot 35 days stale, commentor 2 shares this embarrassing ordeal with youtubedrama. Now, everyone, grab your popcorn.
Some people can't even believe the entire ordeal is real

Link the post. Please. If this is real, genuinely sad to see. If you're reading this define Marxism genuinely wanna know what you're gonna say lmao
Its him. Doctor Downvote is an alias of his according to a Youtuber wiki. Link is here. Probably best not to poke the bear.
Oh, never. I'm more an observer type. But if he replied to a post that old, there's a non-zero chance he's searching for posts about himself specifically.

To say the bear had been poked would be an understatement. It seemed as if this bear had been stabbed. As if his name had been repeated three times in the dark, in front of a mirror, Nerd City is summoned to this comment section where he begins arguing with a subreddit of individuals seemingly genetically predisposed to suffer from a disliking of Nerd City.
While managing to call the entirety of the subreddit's inhabitants coordinating liars while simultaneously rejecting the claim that he is actively looking for content about him to complain about, Nerd City enters the playing field with this comment.

searched for a tweet about GoT I made and found this club of coordinating liars. I treat people how they treat me. If you’re respectful, I’m respectful back.

Some can't even believe what's happening and even concerned, and others are quite entertained

It genuinely is unhealthy behavior to respond to so many Reddit comments that are this old. Like, it suggests a deep seated issue when you lash out so aggressively at criticism like this. It lowkey makes me worried for your mental health if you’re this upset that ppl in a community disagree with you on something. I’d hate to see what happens if someone irl disagrees with you
Damn I just lost respect for you
Imagine being the guy who systematically destroyed Paul’s nft scam, and then just making your own. Gotta edge out the market, eh?

What kind of weird type of masochism is this? Too kinky for me bro
OP and friends speculate that Nerd City's erratic behavior may be due to unfortunate circumstances in his life.

I kinda don’t want people to argue with him, he might be going through a rough spot and I don’t want to poke the bear more than I already have. Now if he comes to this post and bitches, that’s just his fault, it’s fair game.
Yeah I can’t imagine this person is doing too hot in the other areas of their life if this is how they’re spending their time. Happy fulfilled people don’t do that. At least I’ve been told lol. Edit: oh I just realized that’s actually nerd city and not just some guy. I’d say my point stands even more in that case, I don’t know much about nerd city but no big YouTuber would be doing this shit if they weren’t like actively losing their mind.
He’s got a hot wife who helps him clown on instagram girls, you’d think he’d be living the dream life.
Does she come braless to give him sandwiches (not asked for) with chips as he gets a double kill bot lane tho?

The Bear responds to these accusations not with denial, but with a valiant effort to stand up for himself.

That’s true, but can’t I also defend myself against a mob of fibbers and jerks? I always punched back, this is normal for me when I’m active online.

OP responds by proposing an unheard of solution

Have you considered logging off?

One user speculates that Nerd City might delete his account following these recent events, to which he replies:

I’m not saying anything I would need to hide or delete. I’m on main and reading Reddit notifs while simmering at about 3/10 Annoyed. I’m not happy to read lies, and clapping back when people lie has become underrated IMO
Insane behavior is thinking you can lie in a public forum with other cowardly people tittering word salad exaggerations and not be held accountable. These threads are big enough now that I’ll keep coming and kicking your asses like my enemies until one of your mods starts censoring me.

In what appears to be one of the only comments featuring meaningful insight, there is to nobody's surprise no response from Nerd City

You put all your eggs in a hollow basket. You wanted the profits that came with branding/merchandising without any of the products for consumers; which sucks cause you clearly are someone who cares about their art and presentation with your upload frequency and quality of content. Sucks that it came at the cost of your sanity and creativity. You spent a year on some discount pop-art fit for 3.5g bags, on a quick bag that was late to the party.

When one commentor asks why Nerd City is in the comment section, he promptly responds with an answer.

I’m letting the liars know I found their little liar’s club. Holding it accountable, one might say\

One lone person attempts to stand up for Nerd City, upon which he immediately expresses gratitude

Why do people give nerd so much flack for the nft stuff, on the tbh podcast he seemed really genuine about the whole thing and said that it wasn’t a scam or anything they even had coffezila one an episode which would seem really stupid if nerd was actually scamming people
Thank you. Finally, a single brave person stands up and spits some facts.

The rest of the comment section legitimately just consists of back and forth discourse between Nerd City and other commentors that is basically just identical to what has already been displayed.
Potential flairs !!
If you're reading this define Marxism
He’s got a hot wife who helps him clown on instagram girls
Does she come braless to give him sandwiches (not asked for) with chips as he gets a double kill bot lane tho?
can’t I also defend myself against a mob of fibbers and jerks?\
I’ll keep coming and kicking your asses like my enemies until one of your mods starts censoring me.
I’m letting the liars know I found their little liar’s club
Having a zyn induced meltdown

Tinks quickly, easily adapts to the thoughts of other person. Tends to: monitor changes in situations and people’s behavior; look for the truth in his opinion, like “you see, at first you were like that, then suddenly you turned bad, my theory is confirmed...”; conduct social “experiments” with people in various situations; walk patiently and for a long time towards his goal; play a hidden role in society, pretend to be someone he is not for the sake of image; feeling awkward in his body and extremely picky about sensory experiences; is embarrassed to directly convey his true feelings, so he rationalizes them, and later may blame someone for the fact that no one understands or supports him; tends to move from “I don’t need to waste time on useless interaction with people” to “I don’t want to feel unaccepted by people” constantly looks for benefits in people, situations, does not hesitate to show it openly “I don’t see potential in you, why do I need you?", treats people as a stage of life, is ready to “jump” from one to another as preferences and goals change; if he is interested in you, he will try to fit himself into your life, impose his own rules, try to find ALL the information from you that they can find, "I identified n number of your traits that you need to change in yourself," "I followed your friend , sibling, and I can say that they are a bad influence on you, do not interact with them"; " im interested in an argument when it’s backed up by something, if you can’t answer right away, your point of view is wrong and weak", he is sick of too much kindness.

I’m here to vent. I am 24f. I was in an abusive relationship from 16-21 with someone who was way older than me. He physically abused me, raped me, cheated on me, and mentally abused me. I ended up contracting herpes from him. I was too naive and insecure to leave. My parents didn’t give a shit enough to guide me, the fact they allowed this knowing what was happening has hurt me in unexplainable ways. I’ll never forget before it got really bad, he held me at gun point, pistol whipped me, and kept me awake and hostage for 24 hours. I finally got away and begged my mom to take me to the police station and she told me I would regret it… I regret not going myself but I was at my lowest and even my own mother told me not to. Not too long after trying to peacefully wean him away, I ended up getting away and he was a wanted fugitive and he found out where I was 2 months later while having the police actively chasing him he showed up to where I was while actively running from the cops and they arrested me too for harboring. These charges got dropped after I proved my innocence, but how embarrassing to have that known about me in a small town, it feels like it haunts me, it’s still on the internet.. I feel ruined I feel like my young years are tarnished and my future life is too. I don’t have problems meeting new people, but I don’t let them too close to find out everything I’ve been through, the trauma is one thing and then the fact I have herpes so young. No one would want me, only for eye candy maybe but that’s it. I just want to be in a love that makes me feel like a kid again. This happened 3 years ago and I’m still struggling.

Hey all hope you're having a great day :)
So like most people i'm missing that special person in my life and it would be really nice to find someone that i can relate to, be 100% honest and open with and generally find my best friend.
Hopefully this would start out as friendship and if we click then we click, open to anyone from anywhere :)
Some stuff about me/hobbies
Video games, this is my biggest hobby by far, i play have an pretty big library of games i play so if you game, there is a high chance we would share stuff we could play, a few games i play often, League(i question it too don't worry) soulsbourne games (unga bunga builds) fallout's, i mainly play pc but have a switch and ps4 too.
TV/Film, if not doing the above, you can find me binge watching shows or films, such as B99, the office HIMYM, GoT (we can discuss how shit the last season was forever), Star Wars, Marvel stuff, SAW.
Animals, i have 2 dogs (yes i'll show you lots of pictures) and in general i love animals so much, so i'll probably spam you with pictures of random animals i think are cute or funny :)
Music, i listen to a wide variety of stuff, from rock and metal to dance/pop some electro swing, rap and other stuff, in general if i like a song i'll listen to it on repeat till i hate it but still listen to it anyway.
I try and be witty and funny most the time, I have a stupid sense of humour but will try and make you laugh most of the time, I can be shy to start with but i open up pretty quickly when i get comfortable with you :)
Don't be shy and hit me up if you think we would get on :)

Hi !
I repeatedly hear about college girls working as escorts on the side for additional remuneration and the additional thrill.
I am looking to build a casual but intense and deep d/s dynamic, I don’t mind if it’s sugar based. I am not looking for a sex worker, I am looking for someone real,someone who is well read, kind and empathetic, if she’s looking for monetary gratification, that’s no concern to me.
So, if someone here is looking for such a relationship, or knows how or where to approach such girls, I’ll appreciate your response in the comments or DM.
I’ll go into the details of what I am looking for and am willing to share pictures as well( I am decent looking, lean, tall and well educated).
Ps - if this is not the right forum for this question, please let me know, I’ll delete, I am new here.

Hi all, my partner and I are planning on moving in together in exactly 1 day. We’ve been together on and off for ten years, and for the most part, in my opinion, have been pretty happy for the last year or two. At least, thats what I thought until I found this list in his notes app…
I saw it when checking a list regarding our move on his phone. Its a long long list consisting of reasons why we aren’t going to last. They mostly all pertain to our open relationship (which, I understand he struggles with… I’ve been very very willing to close it if he ever just says the word but he doesn’t) The list is also largely accusatory and puts a lot of blame on me for ~potentially~ doing something hurtful like crossing a boundary (never have) or falling in love with someone else (doubtful I will) It was last edited or made about three days ago, when nothing in particular seemed to happen. I’m hurt that he would keep something like this for.. what? I don’t even understand the point of the note. I have basically upended my life for this move (new job, new school) which has largely been for his benefit, and I’m not going to risk backing out of it, but the timing of all of this has felt like foreshadowing to a rocky start. Should I bring this up with him?

The scripture says "do not call anyone on earth your father, for One is your Father, He who is in the heavens". I'm confused about this scripture in relation to Orthodoxy, since we call the priest "Father". Could someone explain this please? I'm only new to learning about the Orthodox ways. Thank you

Im off for summer break, and im back in my hometown after a year of college. I made an entirely new group of friends during that year, and talking to them has been the best that that’s happened to me.
Recently, I keep getting into my head about how I’m not that important to them. They typically talk to each other about different issues (home life matters, relationship issues, school life worries, etc), but I have to hear everything second hand from my boyfriend who’s also in the group. I’m never someone that anyone goes to for support, which makes me feel incredibly left out.
I don’t know how to change this mindset, since I’m probably overreacting. Any advice? Anyone’s free to ask questions too if it helps

In the face of a powerful industrialized nation with a vast population and incredibly powerful military/police, the path to revolution may seem daunting.... however, history has shown that guerrilla warfare, rooted in Marxist-Leninist principles, can be a potent tool for the working class to overthrow capitalist oppression... to finally end the deep US corruption, wage slavery, and terrible exploitation of it's own people and the worlds peoples. The horror and insanity of Capitalism must stop... We must remove the ruling class ASAP.
Why must we choose Guerrilla Warfare? We don't have another choice at this present time in our history. Voting is an illusion and the elites/bourgeoisie have the tightest death grip on us they could possibly achieve... other paths have failed us Revolutionaries... Comrades, we must act with great and immediate purpose, organize and educate one another... radicalize and revolutionize one another.
Guerrilla warfare leverages the strengths of the oppressed while exploiting the vulnerabilities of the oppressor:
Asymmetrical Warfare: Guerrillas utilize hit-and-run tactics, ambushes, and sabotage to wear down the enemy's superior firepower and resources.
Popular Support: Guerrillas embed themselves within the population, gaining support and intelligence while undermining the government's legitimacy.
Prolonged Conflict: Guerrillas wage a war of attrition, exhausting the enemy's will to fight and draining their resources.
Political Education: Guerrillas educate and mobilize the masses, fostering a revolutionary consciousness and building a united front against the ruling class.
Examples of Successful Guerrilla Revolutions (please do not forget to unbrainwash yourselves of US / western misinformation and propaganda about the successes of fellow comrades and other peoples revolutions... The CIA is really adept at exclaiming that Communism hasn't been a success anywhere and that Revolutionaries committed all kinds of make believe atrocities... Refuse the US and western propaganda folks, I know it's widespread and deeply embedded, but it's possible to help others break free from it...)
History is replete with examples of guerrilla movements that triumphed against seemingly insurmountable odds...
Vietnam: The Viet Cong, utilizing guerrilla tactics and popular support, defeated both the French and the Americans, leading to the reunification of Vietnam under a socialist government. Vietnam continues to better the lives of the working class as each day goes on...
Cuba: Fidel Castro and his guerrilla army overthrew the US-backed Batista dictatorship, establishing a socialist state that has endured for decades... The US/West continues to oppress this state, however Cuba continues to flourish even with the embargo in place and other tools of oppression being exercised against the nation constantly.
China: Mao Zedong's Red Army, through a protracted guerrilla war, defeated the Nationalist forces and established the People's Republic of China. China has ended absolute poverty and is constantly creating new policy for increasing the quality of living for the working class peoples.
Strategies for Revolution
In the context of a large industrialized nation, guerrilla warfare can be adapted to the specific conditions...
Urban Guerrilla Warfare: Guerrillas operate in cities, targeting government institutions, infrastructure, and symbols of capitalist power. Think of city halls, big banks, large corporation headquarters, investment firms HQs, state capitol buildings, casinos...
Rural Guerrilla Warfare: Guerrillas establish bases in remote areas, launching attacks on military installations and supply lines.
Cyber Warfare: Guerrillas disrupt enemy communications, spread propaganda, and expose government corruption.
International Solidarity: Guerrillas seek support from other revolutionary movements and progressive forces around the world.
The Promise of a Better Future...
Guerrilla warfare is not merely a military strategy...it is a revolutionary process that empowers the working class and lays the foundation for a socialist/communist society...
Workers' Control: Guerrillas establish liberated zones where workers take control of production and distribution, demonstrating the viability of socialism and communism.
Land Reform: Guerrillas redistribute land to the peasants/working class, ending centuries of exploitation and ensuring food security.
Social Programs: Guerrillas provide healthcare, education, and housing to the masses, meeting their basic needs and improving their quality of life.
In conclusion Comrades...
Guerrilla warfare, guided by Marxist-Leninist principles, offers a viable path to revolution for the working class in a large industrialized nation like the USA. By leveraging the strengths of the oppressed, exploiting the weaknesses of the oppressor, and mobilizing the masses, guerrillas can overthrow capitalism and build a socialist/communist society that prioritizes the needs of the people over the profits of the few...
The time is now... Solidarity my fellow working class human beings. Organize and take immediate action.
Note: Obviously there is a lot more information needed/involved for a successful revolution... but this should at least get some folks thinking in the right direction.... I can elaborate more on specific subjects of revolution in future posts... Always take time to use your critical thinking abilities folks, avoid western propaganda, and carefully identify true primary sources.

Welcome to the romancelandia daily reader chat, where we build community, talk books, or just chat.
---
Here's our guide on community norms and posting.
What goes in the daily reading chat, you ask? We like chatting about romance books, and we also like to build community, so the daily reading chat isn't incredibly strict about content, exactly. Don't be shy!
Where to start? Some ideas:

• Random musings about romance
• Books you're looking forward to
• What you're reading now
• Book sales and deals
• Television and movies
• Good books that aren't romance
• Questions for the group at large
• Smashing the kyriarchy in daily life
• Encourage other commenters who have good ideas to start a new post!

---

• Discussing a book? Please include content warnings or anything else you think a potential reader needs to consider before reading and don't forget to mark your spoilers.
• Not sure how to use spoiler tags? Just do this: >!spoiler text!<
• Would your fairly-in-depth book discussion comment or romance-reading observation make a good post? Probably! But in case you're not sure, check out our guide with post examples: Posting on Romancelandia: It doesn't have to be a dissertation.

---
Are you new here?? Introduce yourself! This month's prompt for newbies is; What is a book high you've yet to get over?

The place for all of your fitness based interpersonal encounters (is someone being creepy at the gym? Is your family telling you you’re getting too muscular? Do you want to date your personal trainer?), but also the place to talk about motivation, self-esteem and body image, and all the ways fitness affects your life.
Want to ask how mothers juggle family and fitness? How to structure Intermittent Fasting? When to work out when you do night shift? How to deal with being the only person in your friend group who works out? If you're feeling emotional, want to up your mental game, or need ideas for how to juggle everything on your plate, this is the place for you!

Hello! I am 20 years old and a female. I’m not very big on socializing and tend to be pretty introverted, not because I hate people but because it usually is exhausting for me. I try to look out for people and don’t like to tell anyone about my problems or feelings; I am also someone who cares a lot about people but doesn’t normally voice it, but would rather show it through gifts or acts of service. I like to pay attention to the details of things and people, and I often have a weird feeling that I can “predict” people or know how they will be/are… and so far, I’ve usually been right. I have a strong moral code and will always advocate for the underdog. I think deeply about things and tend to have a lot of empathy. I experience things and feel that I also think of things differently than most people. I have a hard time explaining my thoughts, but I’ll do my best!
I don’t have any kind of mental diagnosis that could affect my mental stability.
My upbringing was actually very positive. My family has been big on religion since I was born, but it’s something that I take comfort in and agree with. It brings purpose to my life and helps me to be the person I am. I have two parents who love me and take care of me, and younger siblings that I love dearly. I have cousins who double as my friends, aunts and uncles who have me over all the time, and grandparents that I love so, so much. Having many younger siblings did tend to get lonely at times, especially when they were younger, but it taught me independence and I do my best to take care of them. I count myself as extremely fortunate to have such wonderful people in my life.
As a job, I currently work as a barista. To be honest, I don’t really like it very much. My coworkers are very nice and I get along well with them, and I also like a lot of our regular customers, but my manager makes it a very toxic and negative environment that simply goes against my moral code. I also dislike the fact that most people that I see, I only see them in passing. I’d rather have few deep, meaningful connections that many shallow connections, if that makes any sense? I do enjoy the idea of getting to make people’s days, and I like to encourage the bashful people and love seeing sweet children, too! Both customers and coworkers tend to tell me personal stories, and I really enjoy getting to know them truly and seeing what makes them the way they are. I also tend to think sometimes that I feel a higher calling. I want to be somewhere truly helping people. I feel that I need to make a difference and positively influence people.
Spending an entire weekend by myself would be nice. I don’t NEED human contact, and can generally entertain myself without becoming bored. I do, however, find it a little depressing when it’s TOO quiet, especially since I grew up with my environment being everything but quiet. Normally, I like being near people, especially if I’m not even talking to them. Just sharing the space with someone is comforting enough for me! Overall, though, I do need to be alone frequently and tend to run away from life sometimes throughout the day. I would probably find a weekend alone to be really refreshing, so I could connect with myself and not other people.
I prefer activities where you work alone. I like to bake a lot, especially because it makes me happy when people enjoy the things I’ve made! I greatly enjoy sharing my food. I also like to read and can also write, as they both provide me with the an escape from reality at times. My favorite parts about both is understanding and connecting with the characters in the stories. If I have a favorite character, I like to think about what they think about and how they interact with the world. I feel like it’s something most people would find mundane, but I could do it all day! I enjoy being outdoors and connecting with nature, but I don’t particularly enjoy sports.
I tend to be very curious about many things. I like to know how people work. Not normally objects, but people. I find psychology to be extremely interesting, and could spend hours watching true crime investigations. If I see a stray cat, I wonder how it feels and what it has experienced. When I see a person who is upset, I wonder what happened to cause it and how I can help. I can normally tell quickly when something is wrong, and I am usually good at figuring out what I can do to help and am able to read people to understand the best ways to comfort them. It makes sense thinking that in my head, but writing it down sure makes it seem confusing!
Taking a leadership position is not my preferred route. If it falls down to me, I certainly would try hard to make sure the people working under me are happy. I’d rather make the people around my happy than the company itself. I’d like to be an advocate for their rights and happiness if anything was unfair, and I would like for us to be a “team” rather than simply a workplace. I’d like everyone to have fun at work and feel like friends and family. I know the world doesn’t work that way, but I can certainly dream, right?
In terms of coordination, I feel that I’m in the middle. I’d rather play video games than any kind of sport. I don’t have the best balance or coordination, and I don’t typically do things that involve having a good sense of either.
I feel that I am typically artistic, and have a great appreciation for art. I’m not great at drawing, but I like to write a lot. I also think it feels nice to express yourself through music. I’ve done pottery and would like to start learning to crochet. I enjoy looking at certain arts, such as music and books. My favorite art in terms of drawing is abstract art. I love thinking of the endless possibilities of what it could mean, and also wonder how the artist felt when drawing the piece.
The past doesn’t typically have meaning to me. I can be sentimental about certain things at times, but I typically focus my energy mostly on the future. I do things in my present life to prepare for the future, and I have a positive outlook on the future. I don’t like to think of the things that I find unpleasant now, because I believe in a good, happy future where the things that currently bother me will no longer be able to affect me.
I typically will jump at the opportunity to help someone, especially if they are in my family. I do my best to make people’s days, and I try to be of service as best as I can. I used to be unable to say “no”, but I have since learned to enforce boundaries and would never do something that goes against my moral code. If I have a lot on my plate and someone asks me to do something for them, I will typically tell them that I will help them when I can or if I have the time.
Logical consistency is something that I find important, but I wouldn’t mind making exceptions for certain things. I take comfort in knowing that certain outcomes will always remain the same, as I get nervous sometimes when things are unknown. Since I normally can predict what will happen with certain people or events based on prior experience, I find it both interesting and disturbing when the outcome is different.
Efficiency and productivity are not my top priorities, but I do find them important. I like to be efficient in the things I do, but I will not go out of my way to find the “best” way to do something. I like to stay a little productive so that I don’t feel as if I haven’t done anything, but I am perfectly fine with sitting around doing nothing, too. It’s peaceful. I don’t like being in a rush.
Controlling others is something I never do on purpose, but I will admit I can manipulate sometimes. I would never negatively impact someone on purpose, but I am able to manipulate a situation if I find something to be unfair. I’m especially able to do this with the way my mind sees connections between people and things, as well as the way I see into other people’s minds and understand their feelings and actions. It sounds scary but I promise, I mean no harm! :)
Hobbies I enjoy include baking, playing video games, watching videos, writing/reading, and just being around people! I like to share the things I bake, and video games are fun because I can enjoy them alone or with my family. Playing games and watching videos, whether alone or with others, is fun and stimulating for my brain in all the right ways! I much prefer to write over speak, as I feel I can convey things better and express myself through writing. Reading allows me to look into the minds of other people and I think it’s just so fun.
Learning environments are something I normally can adapt to. Whether a teacher is strict or laid back, I am normally able to perform the same way. I can understand each side and typically earn the favor of teachers no matter their teaching styles. I tend to thrive better in environments where things are on a straight path, but I do like to express myself through various pieces of writing when possible.
When I have a project, I would much prefer to start it quickly and finish it as soon as possible. I don’t typically “wing” anything, although I won’t be torn up if something doesn’t go exactly according to plan. I’d rather break things up into manageable tasks and prefer to work alone. I strategize pretty well, but for the most part, I use the strategy as a guideline and like to be creative here and there.
My aspirations are to connect with and help people. I feel a calling to do something and be somewhere that I can help people and understand them. I want to make a difference. I want to be a part of people’s passions and learn their dreams. I want to know the mundane things about them. I want to learn, but I mainly want to help.
I fear being left and not needed. I also fear being taken advantage of and manipulated. I feel that I need to work hard in order to compensate for these things. I also greatly fear having no one to turn to. Being alone is nice, but being lonely is my worst nightmare.
The highs in my life are when I can be around people who don’t drain me. That good feeling after someone tells you you’ve made their day. That feeling you get after you and your family beat the level of the game you’ve been working hard at. The feeling after you look around at your clean room. The feeling after you finally quit that toxic job, or the feeling after someone eats the food you’ve made them. For me, all of those things paired with thinking about and understanding someone’s thoughts and intentions make me happy. They stimulate my brain, and give me that “AHA!” moment.
Lows in my life typically include feeling helpless. I hate when you don’t know how to assist someone, or when all you can do is sit with them. I also hate when people are cruel for no reason. I advocate for justice according to my moral code and I stand up for people as well as what I feel is right. I hate when I think I could have done something better. When I’m upset, I become pessimistic and tend to isolate myself. I hate being stuck with individuals who are unfeeling, uncaring, or narcissistic.
I tend to daydream more than I partake in reality. I have a hard time focusing on what is in front of me, and I like to think more on the hypotheticals. I daydream and think in order to gain a deeper understanding of the world around me, but it causes me to miss some of the simple things right in front of me.
Being alone in a blank, empty room would cause me to think about a lot of things. I would probably think of how to improve myself. I might think of birthday gifts for people, or the next thing I want to cook. I could think of nostalgic things, or the problems I am currently facing in my life. I think I would mostly think on self improvement and the interactions I’ve seen between people.
Making decisions is sometimes hard for me. I normally will go with what my gut tells me, unless there is an obvious logical choice. I tend to be indecisive sometimes, and like to make decisions quickly so I don’t have to think about them anymore. I don’t normally second guess decisions I’ve made.
Emotions are a big part of my life. I like to understand people’s thoughts and feelings, sometimes to the point where I will neglect my own. My own emotions can take me time to understand, but I can read most other people easily. I base my responses to things on how others are feeling.
Agreeing with others just to keep a conversation going is something that I find untruthful. If something goes against my personal moral code, I will either leave or change the subject. I will always kindly stand up for what I believe to be right. I tend to choose my battles, but I will never agree with something that I don’t believe in my heart.
Rules, to me, are made to be followed. Sometimes, I don’t mind bending them a little bit, but I do feel that most people should follow rules the majority of the time. I feel that rules keep things in order and are an important structure in certain places and environments.

Please if u have nothing helpful to say just keep scrolling, me and this girl met around 2 weeks ago and it has been amazing, the amount of things we share in common and how we almost think alike in a lot of things, we even have similar hobbies, lately ive been losing my spark for her because of her current behaviour, we have been in like 5-6 dates, we had sex once, and almost everytime we hang out we kiss and treat each other like we are dating, i did the logical thing and asked her what we were and her response was, "is too soon, i dont wanna rush anything", i was fine with that at first, and i also dont wanna rush or force her on making a desicion, time keeps going and i dont feel any change, i know its only been 2 weeks but still, i met her mom her sisters, she met my parents, ive slept over at her house, she slept over at mine, but any time i try to make it official she gives me the same answer, is too soon, and that she isnt ready to give me anymore, and i know some of you are instantly say, well she is not ready, she doesnt text me, she doesnt call me, unless i start it, i have to come up with dates or ideas to hang out, and twice already she canceled on me cuz her friend wanted to hang out with her, i also know her friends and i get along with them so i trust her completly, they are gay, and a few girls, my problem is that i simply dont understand whats happening, anytime i hang out with her i get put into a timer, i get the "well we've hung out for a while now" means its time for me to leave or stop talking to her, ive done everything i can to make her feel comfortable around me, ive taken her to dates and walks and places without asking for anything in return, me and her both play video games, i could be on the menu and she would get on and instantly join someone else to play and doesnt even text me or asks me to play, anytime i facetime her, if she gets any calls she immediatly says im getting a call ill call you later, and i wouldnt hear from her for hours, but when i call her and she is a call, she just doesnt pick up or texts me until she is done, and doesnt even call me, she just texts me, i was in a call, sometimes she doesnt even text me, she doesnt open my texts within 30 mins ever, always 1-4 hours later, i have no idea what she is doing, and i know she doesnt owe me anything, but if she is taking her time to see if im worthy then at least i should also know whats going on, im not just gonna sit here and wait for someone until they decide sorry ur not it, my feelings also matter to me and i also dont wanna get hurt, i made clear to her what my intentions are, i told her i wanted something serious and i was looking to hopefully settle down in the future with my next partner and she told me, that was exactly what she needed, and she introduced me to her son, and that went super well, he is a super dope kid, 6yo, he even told her that he liked me and i was his new friend, that made me really happy and i bought him a fortnite gift card, he was super excited about it and she was happy that unlike her ex i actually cared about him. Lately, i figured maybe she just needs space, i havent really texted her or called her in the past 2 days and just like i thought it would happen, she hasnt bothered to text me or call me at all, i even showed up to her place last night and wished her happy mothers day, got her flowers, candle and some bath salt she been wanting, but i noticed that she was wearing a dress which means she had gone out with her friend and i didnt even know, this is where im at rn, before going to bed i texted her 2 hours ago, "hey wyd" which is how she texts me when she does, and i got left on delivered, but not too long ago i was playing with one of her friends and he read outloud a text from her asking him if he wanted to play, and that made me feel extremaly anxious, not jealous, i felt abandoned, alone, dissapointed and worthless. I feel this void in my chest and i cant get it to go away, the void is so big that my brain wont even stop thinking about it, i cant function, i cant have fun i cant do anything else without feeling it, i dont know what to do. Am i really overthinking? i did brought this up to her and her response was the same, "im healing from my last relationship, this is everything i can give for now", and when we started talking i asked her are you ready to start dating? are u moved on from your ex? and she said yes, so now does she keep saying she needs time to heal?, i thought maybe she lost interest but the other day i was so depleted that i almost walked away and i turned around because her face just turned upside down and she started crying and accepting it, and that broke my heart, i told her i didnt wanna walk away i wanted to figure everything out, she said "its not your fault im just broken, i dont have any emotions left to give, i dont wanna hurt you" but then she started hugging me and didnt let go...

TL;DR WHY IS SHE SO CONFUSING, if you read it all, i know i couldve prob made it easier to read, but i really needed to get it out of my chest, thank you, i just need an outside pov without all the emotions im feeling clouding my judgment, i really dont know what to do, i feel stuck in limbo 

Tldr at the bottom.
Before I start for context, I want to say this girl and i had mutual crushes on each other in middle school and high school.
So here's the deal, I recently ( a few weeks ago) sent this girl from high school a message trying to reach out.
I figured she'd never respond but did so anyways, hoping she might one day.
She wound up seeing my message and got back to me.
We've been talking for about a week now, and she's asked me all sorts of personal questions.
I mentioned to her that I was just going to leave a love letter in her inbox and never expected her to respond to me or read the note at all.
She asked me what it would have said, and I went into detail about how I've felt for her and why I disappeared from school.
I told her all about how I turned my life around and gave her all these personal details about life during and after school and what state im living in, I got my own apartment and a good job and everything.
I start asking her about personal info, but she gets weird about it and gives kinda secretive/avoident/cryptic answers.
I've given her a photo of me (a few days ago), I've left her voice messages, short videos of me talking to her and everything, but she never wants to go beyond texting.
She says she's gone through all these difficult life events since high school, which was sent to me in a somewhat long, very personal text, but quickly wound up deleting it.
She opens up a bit here and there, but she also takes hours to respond between messages.
She says she's busy doing her own thing, which I won't say what it is, but it could possibly eat up a lot of her time.
She's very nice and likes to be proper and is very supportive and encouraging in her texts.
I've tried to ask her if she'd be willing to send me a picture or a voice clip or a video, but she always chooses text.
I'm not being weird. I'm just light flirting at first and then just actual conversation asking things to get to know her because I am genuinely interested in getting to know her.
She says basically, "That's too personal right now," and will still respond but avoid questions like the plague sometimes.
Again, she will revisit old questions, but it feels like I'm picking teeth to her a regular, normal length conversation with her.
It's a little painful tbh, I wonder if she's mad at me, if she has a boyfriend or husband, if she's on the street, if she is genuinely busy, if she's ok...
I've asked her before a couple of times why she takes so long to reply, and she says cause she's busy.
Can someone really be this busy all the time every day?
She tells me she tries to be free on the weekends but does work on "projects"
She told me that she's "not promised to anyone," nor has she been "blessed with kids"
I live a good life and tried to impress her with the things I have and my lifestyle (in a nondouchey way), I tried opening myself up to her expressing genuine feelings of joy, love, interest but she just keeps distance.
I asked a mutual friend what he remembers of her from high school, and I guess she's always been like this.
She had a wall between herself and everyone else.
It's just so confusing. Why is she being nice to me?
Why is she responding to me when she could just ghost me?
Why does she talk to me and want to be supportive and tell me things like "I'm rooting for you in life" and "I know you can get where you're going if you keep on the same path" but at the same time, not want to make a call or send a video or a private photo so I can see her?
I asked for her photo in her messenger, and she updated her profile picture, which she hasn't done since high school in about 10 years!
She asks me why I sent and deleted messages and asks me what I sent her, but she doesn't have the time to message me to see them.
Is she manipulating me/stringing me along/keeping me on ice?
What's the endgame?
Where will this lead?
What's going on?
I feel like she's either not being direct, not respecting me, or there's something going on that's preventing her from being transparent with me like I've been with her.
What's the best thing for me to do in order to turn this uncomfortable situation into a more favorable one?
At least in terms of having an honest and open conversation with an old crush that I genuinely want to know more about?
One friend says patience is key with this girl.
Will she end up ghosting me or stop responding one day?
Is this normal?
Do I have a chance, and I'm screwing things up?
Is this salvageable, or is she just being a friend? (Big gulp)
Im trying to keep things light and casual because we both live in different states now but it kinda sucks how she's acting like she's being supportive but at the same time, she isn't being upfront with me.
Can anyone give some insight or maybe share a similar situation and tell me how it went or what was going on when you finally met the person?
Should I just take a chill pill and let things happen naturally?
Tldr: I recently got into contact with an old middle/highschool crush. Things are taking their course but she's secretive while I'm transparent. She dissapears for hours and comes back claiming to be busy. I'm not sure why she's making time for me but also acting sort of distant. Thoughts please.