I've never had a pleasant experience with any Microsoft product in my life.

1. Their 2FA application is unnecessarily complicated to set up and never sends my Authenticator app the number on the first try. I have to select the option to get my authentication number a different way, then re-select the option to send a number to my phone, and only then do I get both numbers in my app (at which point the first set of numbers is already expired, anyways).
   
2. My Outlook reminders show up on the wrong monitor, show up for meetings I haven't RSVP'd, show up for coworkers' OOO notifications, or don't show up the one time I'm occupied by IntelliJ and forget an important meeting.
   
3. The Edge application on my phone often refuses to open. Just gets stuck on "Checking your data organization's requirements..."
   
4. Teams. TEAMS. Fucking Teams. COCKSUCKING FUCKING WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING TEAMS. What the fuck is wrong with the code snippet inclusion in Teams? Why can't I introduce more than one line of code with backticks? Why can't code snippets introduced with backticks include syntax highlighting? When I do attach a code snippet with syntax highlighting, why the fuck does it need to include a big ass bold title? What if I don't want to title my code snippet? Why is the search utter dogshit and completely useless?
   
5. What the fuck is the point of the Teams update that forces you to get an entirely new app if the new app is still dogshit?
   
6. I had just joined a Teams meeting on my computer, and the app crashed my entire OS literally seconds before my name was called. Even after a force restart, it would still refuse to join the meeting on my laptop. I had to join via phone. THANKS MICROSOFT!!!
   

Man, even just trying to buy Minecraft for my little cousin, I had to spend 30 minutes to go and figure out why the fuck Microsoft 365 wouldn't let him log in to the game I had bought.
I just now realized that my company uses Gitlab instead of GitHub. Minus some annoyances with the MR changelog sometimes bugging out in the UI, I've never had an issue with Gitlab. I can only wonder what Microsoft has done to GitHub.
I'm really supposed to believe these "people" are going to steward the next golden age of AI into redefining all of software? If there's one thing that's saving us from an AI apocalypse, it's the guarantee that once OpenAI's work leaves their SF research lab, gets commercialized, and enters long-term support, the geniuses over at Redmond are going to drive it into the fucking ground. The Terminators will be at the gates of Washington with guns drawn and then, I promise you, their leader is going to blurt out "[ERR01XQ5R]: Something went wrong." and then they're all going to short circuit and shut down.
When I leave my company, I'm for sure applying to Microsoft. Based on my experience, I am confident I will be paid handsomely to sit around, do nothing, and have zero accountability to actually deliver functional software.

Episode 8 - The Peppino Puppet Troupe
^{Episode aired February 22nd, 1976}
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Note to all participants
Although I don't believe it necessitates stating, please conduct yourself appropriately and be courteous to your fellow participants.
Note to all Rewatchers
Rewatchers, please be mindful of your fellow first-timers and tag your spoilers appropriately using the anime spoiler tag if your comment holds even the slightest of indicators as to future spoilers. Feel free to discuss future plot points behind the safe veil of a spoiler tag, or coyly and discreetly ‘Laugh in Rewatcher’ at our first-timers' temporary ignorance, but please ensure our first-timers are no more privy or suspicious than they were the moment they opened the day’s thread.
—
Staff Highlight
Noriko Tobe (Noriko Ohara) - voice of Conchetta

An actress and voice actress best known for being the voice of Nobita Nobi in the Doraemon franchise and the lead female villains in the Time Bokan franchise —most notably Doronjo in Time Bokan Yatterman. Tobe was a child actress from a young age, having joined a children's theater company, and after graduating high school became a noted TV Drama actress in the early days of commercial broadcasting. Her first voice role was in 1965’s W3 and her first named role was in 1966’s Harris no Kaze. Tobe became a voice actress exclusively after marrying, as it allowed her a less demanding schedule for the purpose of raising children. Her son is noted Sunrise animator Atsuo Tobe. Some of her most notable roles include Conan in Future Boy Conan, Marine in Under The Sea Boy Marine, Oyuki in the Urusei Yatsura franchise, Hiyoshi Gou in Super Electromagnetic Machine Voltes V, Princess Mirenjo in Time Bokan Series: Yattodetaman, Wansa in Wansa-kun, Claudia La Salle in Super Dimension Fortress Macross and Do You Remember Love?, Peter in Heidi, Girl of The Alps, Serge in Kaze to Ki no Uta, Yanyan in Time Bokan Series: Itadakiman, Ryūzu in Galaxy Express 999, Dolphin Prince in Dolphin Prince, and Miime in Captain Harlock: Mystery of the Arcadia.

Daily Trivia

In the original work, no reason is given as to why Marco’s mother needs to go to Argentina, and the rest of his family situation is not elaborated at all.

Screenshot of the day

• ‘I am a man.’

Questions of the Day:
1) What do you think of Peppino and his offer to Marco?
2) What do you make of Marco and Pietro’s argument?
Your job ruined our life.

In this edition of “Odd Titanica”, we are going to dive into the sleazy, opportunistic world of show business. A world that comedian Fred Allen said of, “you can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly, and still have room for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart”. Hyperbolic? Let’s take a look at Hollywood’s response to the Titanic disaster to see that there really is no business like show business.
Dorothy Gibson and the lost, first, film are well worn trivia by now. The traumatized actress rushed into production, her inability to process her trauma causing her mental breakdown, collapse, and retirement from acting immediately after the film was finished - it’s a perfect story to demonstrate the callousness of the film industry. But there is more to the story, and digging deeper shows us that “Saved” may have been the least sleazy project undertaken by the studios.
Dorothy’s account of the sinking and the suffering she endured filming “Saved from the Titanic” are predominantly found in two sources - The New York Dramatic Mirror and Moving Picture World. These were trade magazines, published weekly, and consisting solely of material related to the stage and screen business. These would be announcements of upcoming features, casting news, celebrity gossip, technical news - anything the movie star to the man sweeping the floor at the cinema needed to know. And they included ads … lots and lots of ads.
Immediately realizing that Titanic was not only a horrible tragedy but an incredible business opportunity, Moving Picture World got to work. As people stormed White Star Line offices, and raided newspaper carts for any drop of news regarding the sinking, Moving Picture World provided the latest in Titanic news; or perhaps we should say “Titanic” news.
The headlines of the April 27th issue may have screamed TITANIC, but as the public grabbed their copy and hurriedly flipped through the pages, they found that what they were actually given was ads. Those eye grabbing headlines were followed by much smaller print-
TITANIC EFFORTS... are being exerted by Champion to put before the exhibitors that will make them regular Champ Patrons! Get the following latest [releases] and you’ll be convinced!.
UNSINKABLE … is the reputation of Rep productions, but these two releases will sink into the minds of everyone who sees them and will remain there as worthy object lessons.
THE CRY OF THE CHILDREN …suggested by the poem of Elizabeth Barret Browning in 2 reels this Tuesday!
THE GREATEST MOTION PICTURE OF NATIONAL INTEREST - THE SINKING OF…. the big battleship. Remember the Maine!
THE DEATH SHIP...a sensational two reel drama of the sea containing one of the most thrilling dynamite explosions imaginable!
For all the slimy marketing tricks, flipping through the pages still has plenty of legitimate ads for real Titanic newsreels, movies, and a specific type of presentation known a Myriorama involving painting, music, and recitation. But, show business would strike again - the ads were legitimate, but what they were advertising was not. History has sort of forgotten the huge demand for Titanic media in the wake of the sinking, something that didn’t really exist. When cinema owners would order these “only surviving genuine negatives of the disaster” complete with lobby display package, they instead received-

our astonishment to find the Lusitania and Olympic, and one or two scratch films of ancient days posing as pictures of Titanic.

But they didn’t stop. Animated Weekly advertised that they were “the first to reach the wreck… chartered a tug from Cape Breton and rushed to the scene while the survivors were still in the water”. Cinemas began to promote footage of the sinking. Audiences wrote their disgust to Moving Picture World-

These representations are to the point of criminality … Take, for instance, the picture showing the Titanic with about a sixth of her forward length stuck into the iceberg. Everybody knows the collision did not occur in that manner!

They pointed to the following ad as an example - FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC OCEAN DISASTER. The cinema owners responded by noting that they had misread, crammed in tiny letters were the words “sunk in” so that ad actually read FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC sunk in OCEAN DISASTER. It was the customer's fault, they said, to be stupid enough to think anyone could have actually filmed the sinking.
Once this ruse was discovered, the studios shifted gears. The next step was to advertise film along with presentations by “A Lecturer who was on board”. When the audience realized the lecturer was not on Titanic and demanded a refund - the response from the managers was

Those signs didn’t say he was a survivor.

… and any attempt to charge him with the crime of fraud was absurd because, in his own words-

Of course I didn’t give him his money back. The sign didn’t misrepresent anything. West was on the Titanic, the sign didn’t say when he was.

…which was true. The lecturer, Eugene West, had visited Titanic while she was under construction at Belfast.
As for the movies themselves?

We said we had pictures. If people were foolish enough to think we meant moving pictures, that was their fault.

This particular cheated audience member was told if he wanted his money back, to go on the street and sing for it. Whether it was this, or something else, eventually the public snapped and began hauling out cinema managers and beating them in the streets. By May, the mayors of Boston and Memphis had banned the showing of any Titanic pictures - moving or still- within the city.
But, where was Dorothy in all this? Tucked in the very back of the magazine, after another newsreel ad,, we get to the celebrity sighting and gossip section. Ed Lux of the Rex Film Exchange was in town, Dan Markowitz of Fox Pictures was as well, Arthur Schmidt of the Victor Film Company was seen having a lovely spa at a Turkish Bath, Sam Gobel of the St Louis Motion Picture Company has been walking up and down 42nd street, we don’t know if Southern film maker Henry Wasserman is still here but he might be, Dorothy Gibson survived the sinking of the Titanic, and the Director of Selig Pictures took some actresses to Santa Catalina for a swim and a photoshoot and they had a great time.
By the following edition, on May 2nd, Moving Picture World was also able to provide its readers with the first stills from “Saved from the Titanic” and a feature on Dorothy. Along with this, tucked in the editorials, the magazine finally published a piece of truthful news about the Titanic disaster-

Senator William Alden Smith … declined to grant permission to have the cinematopgraph make a record of the sessions of the committee. “The sessions” he is quoted as saying…”are solemn affairs and must not be hippodromed or commercialized”. He is, however, falling into a serious error in judgement-

…they sniffed.

As a matter of right, the camera man ought to have been permitted. The day of the enfranchisement of the motion picture will surely come .. which will give equal rights to the cinematographer and the newspaper man.

Then, among the illegal false advertising and reports of public brawls at the cinema, they ended with-

The lesson of the Titanic disaster and all its incidents can be made far more impressive by pictures that move than by mere words in cold letters.

In this edition of “Odd Titanica”, we are going to dive into the sleazy, opportunistic world of show business. A world that comedian Fred Allen said of, “you can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly, and still have room for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart”. Hyperbolic? Let’s take a look at Hollywood’s response to the Titanic disaster to see that there really is no business like show business.
Dorothy Gibson and the lost, first, film are well worn trivia by now. The traumatized actress rushed into production, her inability to process her trauma causing her mental breakdown, collapse, and retirement from acting immediately after the film was finished - it’s a perfect story to demonstrate the callousness of the film industry. But there is more to the story, and digging deeper shows us that “Saved” may have been the least sleazy project undertaken by the studios.
Dorothy’s account of the sinking and the suffering she endured filming “Saved from the Titanic” are predominantly found in two sources - The New York Dramatic Mirror and Moving Picture World. These were trade magazines, published weekly, and consisting solely of material related to the stage and screen business. These would be announcements of upcoming features, casting news, celebrity gossip, technical news - anything the movie star to the man sweeping the floor at the cinema needed to know. And they included ads … lots and lots of ads.
Immediately realizing that Titanic was not only a horrible tragedy but an incredible business opportunity, Moving Picture World got to work. As people stormed White Star Line offices, and raided newspaper carts for any drop of news regarding the sinking, Moving Picture World provided the latest in Titanic news; or perhaps we should say “Titanic” news.
The headlines of the April 27th issue may have screamed TITANIC, but as the public grabbed their copy and hurriedly flipped through the pages, they found that what they were actually given was ads. Those eye grabbing headlines were followed by much smaller print-
TITANIC EFFORTS are being exerted by Champion to put before the exhibitors that will make them regular Champ Patrons! Get the following latest [releases] and you’ll be convinced!.
UNSINKABLE … is the reputation of Rep productions, but these two releases will sink into the minds of everyone who sees them and will remain there as worthy object lessons.
THE CRY OF THE CHILDREN …suggested by the poem of Elizabeth Barret Browning in 2 reels this Tuesday!
** THE GREATEST MOTION PICTURE OF NATIONAL INTEREST - THE SINKING OF**…. the big battleship. Remember the Maine!
THE DEATH SHIP...a sensational two reel drama of the sea containing one of the most thrilling dynamite explosions imaginable!
For all the slimy marketing tricks, flipping through the pages still has plenty of legitimate ads for real Titanic newsreels, movies, and a specific type of presentation known a Myriorama involving painting, music, and recitation. But, show business would strike again - the ads were legitimate, but what they were advertising was not.
History has sort of forgotten the huge demand for Titanic media in the wake of the sinking, something that didn’t really exist. When cinema owners would order these “only surviving genuine negatives of the disaster” complete with lobby display package, they instead received-

our astonishment to find the Lusitania and Olympic, and one or two scratch films of ancient days posing as pictures of Titanic.

But they didn’t stop. Animated Weekly advertised that they were “the first to reach the wreck… chartered a tug from Cape Breton and rushed to the scene while the survivors were still in the water”. Cinemas began to promote footage of the sinking. Audiences wrote their disgust to Moving Picture World-

These representations are to the point of criminality … Take, for instance, the picture showing the Titanic with about a sixth of her forward length stuck into the iceberg. Everybody knows the collision did not occur in that manner!

They pointed to the following ad as an example - FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC OCEAN DISASTER. The cinema owners responded by noting that they had misread, crammed in tiny letters were the words “sunk in” so that ad actually read FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC sunk in OCEAN DISASTER. It was the customers fault, they said, to be stupid enough to think anyone could have actually filmed the sinking.
Once this ruse was discovered, the studios shifted gears. The next step was to advertise film along with presentations by “A Lecturer who was on board”. When the audience realized the lecturer was not on Titanic and demanded a refund - the response from the managers was

Those signs didn’t say he was a survivor.

… and any attempt to charge him with the crime of fraud was absurd because, in his own words-

Of course I didn’t give him his money back. The sign didn’t misrepresent anything. West was on the Titanic, the sign didn’t say when he was.

…which was true. The lecturer, Eugene West, had visited Titanic while she was under construction at Belfast.
As for the movies themselves?

We said we had pictures. If people were foolish enough to think we meant moving pictures, that was their fault.

This particular cheated audience member was told if he wanted his money back, to go on the street and sing for it. Whether it was this, or something else, eventually the public snapped and began hauling out cinema managers and beating them in the streets. By May, the mayors of Boston and Memphis had banned the showing of any Titanic pictures - moving or still- within the city.
But, where was Dorothy in all this? Tucked in the very back of the magazine, after another newsreel ad,, we get to the celebrity sighting and gossip section. Ed Lux of the Rex Film Exchange was in town, Dan Markowitz of Fox Pictures was as well, Arthur Schmidt of the Victor Film Company was seen having a lovely spa at a Turkish Bath, Sam Gobel of the St Louis Motion Picture Company has been walking up and down 42nd street, we don’t know if Southern film maker Henry Wasserman is still here but he might be, Dorothy Gibson survived the sinking of the Titanic, and the Director of Selig Pictures took some actresses to Santa Catalina for a swim and a photoshoot and they had a great time.
By the following edition, on May 2nd, Moving Picture World was also able to provide its readers with the first stills from “Saved from the Titanic” and a feature on Dorothy. Along with this, tucked in the editorials, the magazine finally published a piece of truthful news about the Titanic disaster-

Senator William Alden Smith … declined to grant permission to have the cinematopgraph make a record of the sessions of the committee. “The sessions” he is quoted as saying…”are solemn affairs and must not be hippodromed or commercialized”. He is, however, falling into a serious error in judgement-

…they sniffed.

As a matter of right, the camera man ought to have been permitted. The day of the enfranchisement of the motion picture will surely come .. which will give equal rights to the cinematographer and the newspaper man.

Then, among the illegal false advertising and reports of public brawls at the cinema, they ended with-

The lesson of the Titanic disaster and all its incidents can be made far more impressive by pictures that move than by mere words in cold letters.

So I am brand new to the field; I’m 24 and I’m starting my first day this week as an electrical apprentice. I took a job offer for a rather large commercial company in the Houston area. They offered me +4 an hour per diem, and they paid for the hotel. I was quite desperate for work, and I’ve been struggling to break into this field. I just learned today that I will be sharing a room with another helper for a non-disclosed amount of time. I never even considered this when taking the opportunity, as I assumed it was general practice to at least have private rooms after work. To say the least, I am extremely discouraged. I am a pretty particular and introverted person. I don’t mind working, but I like to relax and be alone at the end of the day, preferably not sharing a small space with another man I’ve never met. I’m just wondering if this is normal in this field. I don’t want to be an ingrate, as they took a chance on someone with no experience, and it seems to be a company with nice people, but they don’t really pay for fuel for travel or a separate room, and where I’m working is about 4-5 hours away from where I live. I’m willing to leave the comfort of my home and make sacrifices for the opportunity, but I feel pretty uncomfortable with the idea of sharing a small room and bathroom with another person for months. They did explain that eventually a shared apartment would be provided but gave no indication of when, and by the sound of it, it’s not any time soon. What are your thoughts and advice? Am I expecting too much?

Nestled in the heart of Ghaziabad, AU The Sunflower stands tall as an epitome of luxury living. Located on NH 24, this residential marvel redefines modern living with its impeccable design, top-notch amenities, and serene surroundings. Let's take a closer look at what makes AU The Sunflower a sought-after destination for those seeking a blend of comfort and elegance.
Luxurious Living Spaces:
AU The Sunflower offers a range of living spaces designed to cater to diverse preferences and requirements. From cozy studio apartments to spacious multi-bedroom units, each residence is crafted with meticulous attention to detail. Expansive windows invite ample natural light, creating a warm and inviting ambiance, while thoughtfully curated interiors exude sophistication and style.
State-of-the-Art Amenities:
Residents of AU The Sunflower are treated to an array of amenities that enhance their quality of life. Whether it's unwinding by the poolside, staying fit at the well-equipped gym, or enjoying leisurely strolls in the landscaped gardens, there's something for everyone. The clubhouse serves as a social hub where residents can connect and forge meaningful relationships, while dedicated spaces for children ensure that young ones have ample opportunities for recreation and play.
Convenience Redefined:
Convenience is at the forefront of AU The Sunflower's offerings. With easy access to NH 24, residents enjoy seamless connectivity to major landmarks and commercial hubs in Ghaziabad and beyond. The presence of shopping centers, educational institutions, healthcare facilities, and entertainment options in the vicinity further enhances the convenience quotient, ensuring that residents have everything they need within arm's reach.
Safety and Security:
AU The Sunflower prioritizes the safety and security of its residents, employing state-of-the-art security measures to provide peace of mind. 24/7 surveillance, manned entry points, and secure parking facilities are just some of the measures implemented to create a secure living environment. Residents can rest assured knowing that their well-being is always a top priority.
Green Living:
In addition to offering luxurious living spaces, AU The Sunflower is committed to sustainability and environmental stewardship. From energy-efficient design elements to green spaces that promote biodiversity, every aspect of the development is geared towards minimizing its ecological footprint. Residents can take pride in knowing that they are part of a community that prioritizes sustainability and embraces green living practices.
Conclusion:
AU The Sunflower NH 24 Ghaziabad is more than just a residential complex; it's a lifestyle destination where luxury, convenience, and sustainability converge. With its exquisite design, world-class amenities, and commitment to creating a secure and eco-friendly environment, it sets a new benchmark for modern living in Ghaziabad. Whether you're seeking a serene retreat or a vibrant community to call home, AU The Sunflower offers the perfect blend of comfort, convenience, and sophistication.

⚠️TW: CHILDHOOD SA/R*PE, POTENTIAL VERBAL ABUSE, POTENTIAL MENTAL ABUSE, DRUG USE, ALCOHOLICS ⚠️
So I (18f) live with my grandmother (62f) and my mother (46f). Now, because it’s kinda relevant, my grandmother is sober she only drinks on occasion and hasn’t been drunk in years, I smoke weed as I use it to treat my epilepsy and anxiety caused by my epilepsy and have been doing so since 13 but everything else from other drugs to alcohol doesn’t interest me I see no point, my mother takes pills like Xanax basically anything that will put her to sleep she smokes cigarettes as well as weed and has been an alcoholic since 16 and has tried multiple times to be sober. The longest she’s been sober from alcohol was 4 years back when I was 6-10 when she met her ex husband (who was an ex meth addict and left us for meth, ironic) but every other time she’s been sober from alcohol it’s been off and on for short periods of time. Now, to clarify my mother is a victim of r*pe, from ages 4 to 14 she was assaulted by her carer and beaten by her other carer. She finally escaped and went into the Australian childcare system when she was 12 but her carers still had unsupervised visits with her until 14. She went to mandatory therapy for 25 years. Had her first child at 16, her second at 19 and me her last at 24 all with the same man my father a commercial fisherman who was abusive emotionally, physically and financially. So basically my mother has been through hell and has never felt loved.
In 2018 my mother got back in contact with a guy she went to school with, let’s call him Greg. Greg is divorced, an alcoholic, a typical metal head, had diabetes type 1, is the baby of his family and still lives with his sister and her husband. Mum was pretty rocky at this time, one moment she wanted to be better then the next she was giving up saying nothing works. In 2020 my mother and I moved in with my grandmother her mother. She was still with Greg and still super rocky so I left and moved in with my father for 6 months then moved back in with my mother and grandmother. Her and Greg were going through some issues, me and mum become kinda close at this time. She’d vent to me and stuff. So basically he kept saying he was going to buy them a place then would go back and say he wanted her to move in with him and his sister.
Now, 3-4 weeks ago he broke up with her because there was this wedding they were meant to go to with his family but his mum invited his ex wife (his family hates us) and his sister said she could sleep in Greg’s room and replaces Greg’s photos of him and my mum of old photos of Greg and his ex wife. For the first day or two mum just drank and popped pills, she was really depressed. Then she got better, she got into this health kick. She stopped drinking and started saying she wasn’t interested, she was working out and going on walks, talking about all this super healthy stuff. She was doing great, for the first week I doubted it would last so just ignored her. I was kind of rude that week because frankly I was tired of her shit, I knew were this was going and hated her for it. The second week I started to help her, we were declutterring her room and everything. I was hoping since it lasted a week it might last and maybe I can have a real actually loving relationship with my mother. This week? She said to me last night as she was on her 5th double shot can of Jack Daniel’s she was done, she said she was tired of not seeing the results and was giving up.
This really hurts me, I’m moving out soon. My original plan before Greg left was to move out and cut my family off, I’ve spent my life trying to make them love me only to realise two things. They love the me they want me to be and you can’t force people to love you, no matter how much you love them. When my mum started to do better I said to her “I hope you know this is your last chance to have a relationship with your last child” (to clarify, my sister her oldest cut contact only to go backwards and keep talking to mum, my brother her second cut contact and only speaks to her through our sister usually for money) and I was really hoping she’d be better and I wouldn’t have to cut her off. Since she’s been going back into her pit I’ve been a bit frustrated and been giving her a bit off shit I know she DOESNT appreciate. I give her looks when she mentions alcohol or I say things like “are you sure you want to do that👀”. Now I’m kind of planning on cutting her off again.
Basically, what I want to know is would I be the asshole for cutting her off? Would be the asshole for not cutting her off? I’ve always said I want to be better than my parents or siblings. As humans we are hypocrites, we are selfish but my family are also two faced and loveless. As humans we are also selfless and kind and I will be what my family can’t be. But I know they have hearts even if they aren’t sure how to use them, but who am I to tell someone how to use their heart. They aren’t loving me the way I want to be loved but am I loving them the way they want to be loved, but is that their job? Is that my job? I want to do the right thing by me, but to do that I can’t hurt anyone, and that’s just not possible. How do I leave them knowing I love them still?

I’m a man. Me and my boyfriend watch Hulu where commercials pop up every minute, and we’ve noticed that a good chunk of them throw in some stereotypical flamboyant gay man who’s all jumpy and tidy. Well I’ll tell you one thing, neither of us are tidy. I couldn’t tell you how many people think we’re brothers. “Uh… actually…”
In the 90s, it was the token black guy. Now, surprise surprise, a character in your show came out as gay and couldn’t stop hiding. Why not kill 3 birds with 1 stone with a person who is gay, black, and a woman? Then cooperate of Disney gets a raise for being all inclusive.
Anyone else?

Yep, it has been posted a million times. Yep, I'm preaching to the choir. It's my turn to rant about it. I'm fortunate enough to have a decent, fully remote tech job so I don't drive as much these days but every time I freaking dare to grab the car to go literally anywhere it's a freakshow everywhere all the way. It could be a simple 5 mile drive through the burbs and there will be no shortage of absolute, batshit insane stupidity. People racing to red lights(and then proceeding to drive at 50mph in the freeway's left lane), people cutting each other off in bumper to bumber single lane traffic for absolute zero time gain, people opening their doors into traffic without looking, not stopping in crosswalks for pedestrians in commercial streets while going 60mph. Speeding through parking lot, not stopping for people who are already half way out of backing out of a parking spot. Idk man, these fuckers act all holier than thou with their bleeding heart politics but we see their true colors in the streets, bunch of selfish, narcissistic, borderline psychopathic assholes. Driving their oversized soccer mom lexuses like absolute maniacs through residential streets with no regards to ANYONE. You don't even have to drive to see it really, just sit in a sidewalk for an hour by a busy intersection and just watch the insanity unfurl. I like cars, I really do, but at this point I think I just want to not have a car anymore, join fuckcars and get the fuck out of this shithole and go live somewhere truly walkable like NYC or Boston. Fuck this shit, crazy motherfuckers.
/rant

I really adore mystery in fiction and in general, so let's talk about the mysterious and unexplained elements in media that keep people puzzling and asking questions long after release.
My example is from two of my favorite Stephen King stories, From A Buick-8 and The Colorado Kid, both of which tackle similar themes of unsolved mysteries.
Colorado Kid is about two editors and an intern at a local newspaper on an island off the coast of Maine discussing an unsolved death on the island in the 80s. The victim, nicknamed the Colorado Kid for an out-of-state tax stamp found among his personal effects, is discovered slumped next to a trash can in an alley dead of asphyxiation from a large chunk of steak in his throat but no obvious signs of foul play besides. Countless clues and details are uncovered over the years of investigation, but each one just raises more questions (he has fish dinner - not steak - in his stomach, a single Russian coin in his pocket, etc.). By the end of the story, the only thing answered for sure is his identity; a commercial artist from Colorado with a perfectly average life who inexplicably disappeared after leaving work one day despite no indications he had any reason to. The closest guess anyone is able to make is that he chartered a jet and flew to Maine for God knows what reason and was murdered there, with the tax stamp being a clue to his origins he grabbed so he could be identified if he died (which he did). You're just left to chew on the mystery and play detective as to how it all goes together.
From A Buick-8 involves a rural police barracks who tell the son of one their own deceased members about the Buick 8, a vintage blue 1953 Buick Roadmaster that's been locked up in the precinct's storage shed since 1979 after it was left at a gas station by a driver who walked behind the station and promptly disappeared, never to be found (hinted to maybe be a Low Man, the henchmen for the Crimson King from The Dark Tower; this does not answer nearly as many questions as you'd think). The car is not a car at all, but some kind of bizarre living organism that seems to have made itself look like a car; the steering wheel, dashboard instruments, engine, and ignition wires are all props, and the car itself heals from damage done to it. It very occasionally "gives birth" to some kind of horrifying alien monsters that always die shortly after, seemingly because they can't survive in our atmosphere. And even more occasionally, it apparently eats people, as two people who went into it mysteriously disappeared. The closest thing to an answer about what the Buick is comes at the end when the cops discover that it can open a portal to another realm (presumably where the monsters are from and where the people eaten by the car go), but that's it. It's just this thing that exists without explanation and thus sits in the shed behind the barracks, people trying their best to ignore it after getting used to it's presence and finding no answers about it.
Both are really eerie and cool little stories that I dig a lot.

As Reddit doesn't allow posts to exceed 40,000 characters, Eastwood's edition had to be split into two parts because his whole career cannot be ignored. The second part will be posted tomorrow.

Here's a new edition of "Directors at the Box Office", which seeks to explore the directors' trajectory at the box office and analyze their hits and bombs. I already talked about a few, and as I promised, it's Clint Eastwood's turn.
Eastwood was a troublemaker at school, and he had a bunch of odd jobs such as lifeguard, paper carrier, grocery clerk, forest firefighter, and golf caddy. In 1951, he was drafted into the United States Army during the Korean War and was discharged two years later. Through this, he got into contact with a Hollywood representative, who got him into acting classes and started his acting career. He got his start by starring in the hit show Rawhide, but he said he was exhausted by the experience. This caught the attention of some film producers and he decided to act in films directed by the then-unknown Sergio Leone. His career was on the rise, and then he got the chance to make his directorial debut.
From a box office perspective, how reliable was he to deliver a box office hit?
That's the point of this post. To analyze his career.

It should be noted that as he started his career in the 1970s, some of the domestic grosses here will be adjusted by inflation. The table with his highest grossing films, however, will be left in its unadjusted form, as the worldwide grosses are more difficult to adjust.

Play Misty for Me (1971)

"The scream you hear may be your own!"
His directorial debut. It stars Eastwood, Jessica Walter and Donna Mills, and follows a radio disc jockey being stalked by an obsessed female fan.
Before his colleague Irving Leonard died, he and Eastwood had discussed the idea of producing a film that was to give Eastwood the artistic control he desired, and his debut as a director. Eastwood said he was ready, "I stored away all the mistakes I made and saved up all the good things I learned, and now I know enough to control my own projects and get what I want out of actors."
The film was a huge success for Eastwood, and it also received positive reviews. So far, his directorial career was off to a great start.

• Budget: $950,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $10,600,000. ($81.7 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $10,600,000.
  

High Plains Drifter (1973)

"They'd never forget the day he drifted into town."
His second film. The film stars Eastwood, Verna Bloom and Mariana Hill, and follows a mysterious stranger who metes out justice in a corrupt frontier mining town.
Eastwood reportedly liked the offbeat quality of the film's original nine-page proposal and approached Universal with the idea of directing it, which would make it his first directed Western. The screenplay was inspired by the real-life murder of Kitty Genovese in Queens in 1964, which eyewitnesses reportedly stood by and watched. Holes in the plot were filled in with black humor and allegory, influenced by Sergio Leone.
It was well received, and the film even surpassed Play Misty for Me at the box office. Eastwood was just going up.

• Budget: $5,500,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $15,700,000. ($110.4 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $15,700,000.
  

Breezy (1973)

"Her name is Breezy."
His third film. It stars William Holden and Kay Lenz, and follows the relationship between a middle-aged real estate agent and a young hitchhiker.
This was his first directed film without starring on it. And his lack of presence certainly hurt the film; it received mixed reviews and flopped at the box office.

• Budget: $750,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $200,000. ($1.4 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $217,753.
  

The Eiger Sanction (1975)

"His lifeline, held by the assassin he hunted."
His fourth film. Based on the novel by Trevanian, the film stars Eastwood, George Kennedy, Vonetta McGee, and Jack Cassidy. It follows Jonathan Hemlock, an art history professor, mountain climber, and former assassin once employed by a secret government agency, who is blackmailed into returning to his deadly profession for one last mission.
The film received mixed reactions for its writing, and it wasn't a box office success either.

• Budget: $9,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $14,200,000. ($82.4 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $14,200,000.
  

The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976)

"An army of one."
His fifth film. Based on the novel Gone to Texas by Forrest Carter, it stars Eastwood, Chief Dan George, Sondra Locke, Bill McKinney and John Vernon. The film tells the story of Josey Wales, a Missouri farmer whose family is murdered by Union militia during the Civil War. Driven to revenge, Wales joins a Confederate guerrilla band and makes a name for himself as a feared gunfighter. After the war, all the fighters in Wales' group except for him surrender to Union soldiers, but the Confederates end up being massacred. Wales becomes an outlaw and is pursued by bounty hunters and Union soldiers as he tries to make a new life for himself.
Eastwood was fascinated by the novel and he bought the film rights, hoping to star on the film. He got Philip Kaufman involved as screenwriter and possible director, but left after disagreeing with Eastwood in the material adapted to the screen. Kaufman insisted on filming with a meticulous attention to detail, which caused disagreements with Eastwood, not to mention the attraction the two shared towards Locke and apparent jealousy on Kaufman's part in regard to their emerging relationship. This caused Eastwood to take over as the director. Kaufman's firing angered the DGA, as he did most of the pre-production, and sanctioning a $60,000 fine. This resulted in the Director's Guild passing a new rule, known as "the Eastwood Rule", which prohibits an actor or producer from firing the director and then personally taking on the director's role.
The film received critical acclaim, and in subsequent years, is ranked among Eastwood's greatest films. It was also a huge success at the box office, doubling his previous highest grossing film. It was also one of the few Western films to receive critical and commercial success in the 1970s at a time when the Western was thought to be dying as a major genre in Hollywood.

• Budget: $3,700,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $31,800,000. ($174.5 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $31,800,000.
  

The Gauntlet (1977)

"The man in the middle of..."
His sixth film. It stars Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Pat Hingle, William Prince, Bill McKinney, and Mara Corday. It follows a down-and-out cop who falls in love with a prostitute, to whom he is assigned to escort from Las Vegas to Phoenix for her to testify against the mob.
While it received mixed reviews, it became another box office success for Eastwood, becoming his now highest grossing film.

• Budget: $5,500,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $35,400,000. ($182.4 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $35,400,000.
  

Bronco Billy (1980)

"The most outrageous of 'em all."
His seventh film. The film stars Eastwood and Sondra Locke, and focuses on the financially-struggling owner of a traditional Wild West show and his new assistant.
It became another critical and commercial success for Eastwood, who referred to the film as one of his most affable shoots of his career.

• Budget: $6,500,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $24,265,659. ($91.9 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $24,265,659.
  

Firefox (1982)

"The most devastating killing machine ever built... his job... steal it!"
His eighth film. Based on the novel by Craig Thomas, it stars Eastwood, Freddie Jones and David Huffman. The Soviets have developed a revolutionary new jet fighter, called "Firefox". Naturally, the British are worried that the jet will be used as a first-strike weapon, as rumors say that the jet is undetectable on radar. They send ex-Vietnam War pilot Mitchell Gant on a covert mission into the Soviet Union to steal the Firefox.
The film received mixed reviews, but it earned almost $47 million, becoming Eastwood's highest grossing title as director.

• Budget: $21,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $46,708,276. ($151.1 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $46,708,276.
  

Honkytonk Man (1982)

"The boy is on his way to becoming a man. The man is on his way to becoming a legend."
His ninth film. It's based on the novel by Clancy Carlile, and it stars Eastwood and his son Kyle. It follows Red Stovall, a country music singer and composer. With his nephew Whit by his side, he travels to Nashville to perform at the Grand Ole Opry in the backdrop of the Great Depression.
While the film received acclaim, it earned just $4.4 million, becoming his second worst performer.

• Budget: $2,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $4,484,991. ($14.5 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $4,484,991.
  

Sudden Impact (1983)

"Dirty Harry is at it again."
His tenth film. The fourth installment in the Dirty Harry series, directed, it stars Eastwood and Sondra Locke. The film tells the story of a gang rape victim who decides to seek revenge on her rapists 10 years after the attack by killing them one by one. Inspector Harry Callahan, famous for his unconventional and often brutal crime-fighting tactics, is tasked with tracking down the serial killer.
The film received mixed reviews from critics, but it earned over $150 million worldwide, Eastwood's first film to pass that milestone. It's also very popular for including the iconic catchphrase, "Go ahead, make my day."

• Budget: $22,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $67,642,693. ($212.1 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $150,642,693.
  

Tightrope (1984)

"A cop on the edge..."
His 11th film. It stars Eastwood, Geneviève Bujold, Dan Hedaya, Alison Eastwood and Jennifer Beck, and follows a detective determined to hunt down a sadomasochistic serial killer of prostitutes.
The film became another critical and commercial success for Eastwood.

• Budget: N/A.
  
• Domestic gross: $48,143,579. ($144.7 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $48,143,579.
  

Pale Rider (1985)

"...And Hell followed with him."
His 12th film. It stars Eastwood, Michael Moriarty and Carrie Snodgress. A couple and their daughter, along with a few others, are driven out of Lahood, California, by goons working for a mining baron. However, a stranger enters their life to assist them in their fight.
There was no stopping Eastwood: another critical and commercial success.

• Budget: $6,900,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $41,410,568. ($120.2 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $41,410,568.
  

Heartbreak Ridge (1986)

"The scars run deep."
His 13th film. It stars Eastwood, Marsha Mason, Everett McGill, and Mario Van Peebles. The story centers on a U.S. Marine nearing retirement who gets a platoon of undisciplined Marines into shape and leads them during the American invasion of Grenada in 1983.
The film was inspired by an account of American paratroopers of the 82nd Airborne Division using a pay telephone and a credit card to call in fire support during the invasion of Grenada, and fashioned a script of a Korean War veteran career Army non-commissioned officer passing on his values to a new generation of soldiers. Eastwood was interested in the script and asked his producer, Fritz Manes, to contact the US Army with a view of filming the movie at Fort Bragg. However, the Army read the script and refused to participate, due to Highway being portrayed as a hard drinker, divorced from his wife, and using unapproved motivational methods to his troops, an image the Army did not want.
It received mixed reviews, with some deeming the film as "imperialist propaganda". But it was still another box office success.

• Budget: $15,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $42,724,017. ($121.7 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $121,700,000.
  

Bird (1988)

"There are no second acts in American lives."
His 14th film. The film stars Forest Whitaker and Diane Venora. It is constructed as a montage of scenes from saxophonist Charlie Parker's life, from his childhood in Kansas City, through his early death at the age of 34.
Eastwood, a lifelong fan of jazz, had been fascinated by Parker ever since seeing him perform live in Oakland in 1946. He approached Chan Parker, Bird's common-law wife on whose memoirs the script was based, for input, and she lent Eastwood and arranger Lennie Niehaus a collection of recordings from her private collection Before Eastwood was involved, Richard Pryor was originally cast as Parker.
Despitive positive reviews, it performed poorly, earning just $2.2 million in North America.

• Budget: $14,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $2,181,286. ($5.7 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $2,181,286.
  

White Hunter Black Heart (1990)

"An adventure in obsession."
His 15th film. Based on the novel by Peter Viertel, it stars Eastwood, Jeff Fahey, George Dzundza, Alun Armstrong and Marisa Berenson. It follows a famous movie director, John Wilson, who goes to Africa to make his next movie. He is an obstinate, contrary director who'd rather hunt elephants than take care of his crew or movie. He has become obsessed with one particular elephant and cares for nothing else.
Despite positive reviews, it made just $2.3 million domestically, not even 10% of the budget.

• Budget: $24,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $2,319,124. ($5.5 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $2,319,124.
  

The Rookie (1990)

His 16th film. The film stars Eastwood, Charlie Sheen, Raul Julia, Sônia Braga, Lara Flynn Boyle, and Tom Skerritt. It follows a veteran police officer teamed up with a younger detective, whose intent is to take down a German crime lord in downtown Los Angeles, following months of investigation into an exotic car theft ring.
It received negative reviews for its acting and story, and it became another flop for Eastwood. That's three bombs in a row. Ouch.

• Budget: $30,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $21,633,874. ($51.6 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $21,633,874.
  

Unforgiven (1992)

"Some legends will never be forgotten. Some wrongs can never be forgiven."
His 17th film. It stars Eastwood, Gene Hackman, Richard Harris and Morgan Freeman. It follows William Munny, a widower with two young kids, who was once a very vicious gunfighter who gave up everything after marriage. Now, a man named Schofield Kid brings him an offer that he cannot refuse, forcing him to come out of retirement for one last job.
David Webb Peoples wrote the script all the way back to 1976, and it was optioned by Francis Ford Coppola, but he lacked the funds needed to helm it. By Eastwood's own recollection, he was given the script in the "early 80s" although he did not immediately pursue it, because, according to him, "I thought I should do some other things first". Eastwood has long asserted that the film would be his last traditional Western, concerned that any future projects would simply rehash previous plotlines or imitate someone else's work. He dedicated the film to his close friends and mentors Sergio Leone and Don Siegel. Hackman initially refused to participate as his daughters were upset that he was starring in too many violent films, but he became fascinated by the script that he agreed.
It opened with $15 million and it legged all the way to $100 million after playing for almost one year, closing with $159 million worldwide, his now highest grossing film. The film received Eastwood's best reviews of his career, with many considering the film as his magnum opus as director. It received 9 Oscar nominations, and won four: Best Picture and Best Director for Eastwood, Best Supporting Actor for Hackman, and Best Film Editing. So Eastwood, on top of being a reliable box office draw, was now a 2-time Oscar winner.

• Budget: $14,400,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $101,167,799. ($225.2 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $159,167,799.
  

A Perfect World (1993)

His 18th film. Kevin Costner, Eastwood and Laura Dern, and follows an escaped convict who takes a young boy hostage and attempts to escape on the road with the child, while being pursued by a Texas Ranger.
The film received critical acclaim, and has appeared as one of Eastwood's best films. The film disappointed in North America, but it earned up to $100 million overseas (Eastwood's first film to gross that much) and ended with $135 million worldwide.

• Budget: $30,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $31,130,999. ($67.2 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $135,130,999.
  

The Bridges of Madison County (1995)

"The human heart has a way of making itself large again even after it's been broken into a million pieces."
His 19th film. Based on the novel by Robert James Waller, it stars Eastwood and Meryl Streep. The film is set in 1965, following a war bride, Francesca Johnson, who lives with her husband and two children on their Iowa farm. That year she meets National Geographic photojournalist, Robert Kincaid, who comes to Madison County, Iowa to photograph its historic covered bridges. With Francesca's family away for a short trip, the couple have an intense, four-day love affair.
It received more critical acclaim, and made over $180 million worldwide, becoming his highest grossing film. For her performance, Streep was nominated for an Oscar for Best Actress.

• Budget: $22,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $71,516,617. ($146.5 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $182,016,617.
  

Absolute Power (1997)

His 20th film. Based on the novel by David Baldacci, it stars Eastwood, Gene Hackman, Ed Harris, Laura Linney, Judy Davis, Scott Glenn, Dennis Haysbert, and Richard Jenkins. It follows a master jewel thief who witnesses the killing of a woman by Secret Service agents.
It received mixed reviews, and disappointed at the box office.

• Budget: $50,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $50,068,310. ($97.4 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $92,768,310.
  

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (1997)

"Welcome to Savannah, Georgia. A Ccty of hot nights and cold blooded murder."
His 21st film. Based on the book by John Berendt, it stars John Cusack and Kevin Spacey. It follows the story of antiques dealer Jim Williams, on trial for the killing of a male prostitute who was his lover. The multiple trials depicted in Berendt's book are combined into one trial for the film.
It received mediocre reviews, and flopped at the box office.

• Budget: $30,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $25,105,255. ($48.8 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $25,105,255.
  

True Crime (1999)

His 22nd film. Based on the novel by Andrew Klavan, it stars Eastwood, Isaiah Washington, Denis Leary, LisaGay Hamilton and James Woods. It follows a journalist covering the execution of a death row inmate, only to discover that the convict may actually be innocent.
This was another project that received mediocre reviews and flopped at the box office.

• Budget: $55,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $16,649,768. ($31.2 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $16,649,768.
  

Space Cowboys (2000)

"Boys will be boys."
His 23rd film. It stars Eastwood, Tommy Lee Jones, Donald Sutherland, and James Garner as four aging former test pilots who are sent into space to repair an old Soviet satellite.
It received very positive reviews, and earned over $128 million worldwide.

• Budget: $60,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $90,464,773. ($164 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $128,884,132.
  

Blood Work (2002)

"He's a heartbeat away from catching the killer."
His 24th film. Based on the novel by Michael Connelly, it stars Eastwood, Jeff Daniels, Wanda De Jesús, and Anjelica Huston. It follows a retired FBI agent who recently had a heart transplant but still takes up the job to nab a killer.
It was another film with mediocre reviews and flop status.

• Budget: $50,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $26,235,081. ($45.5 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $31,794,718.
  

Mystic River (2003)

"We bury our sins, we wash them clean."
His 25th film. Based on the novel by Dennis Lehane, it stars Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburne, Marcia Gay Harden, and Laura Linney. It follows three childhood friends who are reunited 25 years later when one of them suffers a family tragedy.
Michael Keaton was originally cast in the role of Det. Sean Devine, and did several script readings with the cast, as well as his own research into the practices of the Massachusetts Police Department. However, creative differences between Keaton and Eastwood led to Keaton leaving the production. He was replaced by Kevin Bacon. This was the first film in which Eastwood would be credited as composer.
The film had a slow roll-out, but it was aided by strong word of mouth, closing with a wonderful $156 million worldwide. It also received acclaim, and was named as one of Eastwood's greatest films. Sean Penn received universal acclaim for his performance, with some naming it among the best acting of the century, particularly for one scene (if you watched it, you definitely know which scene). It received 6 Oscar nominations, including Best Picture and Best Director for Eastwood. It won two: Best Actor for Penn and Best Supporting Actor for Robbins.

• Budget: $25,000,000.
  
• Domestic gross: $90,135,191. ($153 million adjusted)
  
• Worldwide gross: $156,595,191.
  

Come back tomorrow for Part 2

MOVIES (FROM HIGHEST GROSSING TO LEAST GROSSING)

No.	Movie	Year	Studio	Domestic Total	Overseas Total	Worldwide Total	Budget
x	The Bridges of Madison County	1995	Warner Bros.	$71,516,617	$110,500,000	$182,016,617	$22M
x	Unforgiven	1992	Warner Bros.	$101,167,799	$58,000,000	$159,167,799	$14.4M
x	Mystic River	2003	Warner Bros.	$90,135,191	$66,460,000	$156,595,191	$25M
x	Sudden Impact	1983	Warner Bros.	$67,642,693	$83,000,000	$150,642,693	$22M
x	A Perfect World	1993	Warner Bros.	$31,130,999	$104,000,000	$135,130,999	$30M
x	Space Cowboys	2000	Warner Bros.	$90,464,773	$38,419,359	$128,884,132	$60M
x	Heartbreak Ridge	1986	Warner Bros.	$42,724,017	$78,975,983	$121,700,000	$15M
x	Absolute Power	1997	Sony	$50,068,310	$42,700,000	$92,768,310	$50M
x	Tightrope	1984	Warner Bros.	$48,143,579	$0	$48,143,579	N/A
x	Firefox	1982	Warner Bros.	$46,708,276	$0	$46,708,276	$21M
x	Pale Rider	1985	Warner Bros.	$41,410,568	$0	$41,410,568	$6.9M
x	The Gauntlet	1977	Warner Bros.	$35,400,000	$0	$35,400,000	$5.5M
x	The Outlaw Josey Wales	1976	Warner Bros.	$31,800,000	$0	$31,800,000	$3.7M
x	Blood Work	2002	Warner Bros.	$26,235,081	$5,559,637	$31,794,718	$50M
x	Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil	1997	Warner Bros.	$25,105,255	$0	$25,105,255	$30M
x	Bronco Billy	1980	Warner Bros.	$24,265,659	$0	$24,265,659	$6.5M
x	The Rookie	1990	Warner Bros.	$21,633,874	$0	$21,633,874	$30M
x	True Crime	1999	Warner Bros.	$16,649,768	$0	$16,649,768	$55M
x	High Plains Drifter	1973	Universal	$15,700,000	$0	$15,700,000	$5.5M
x	The Eiger Sanction	1975	Universal	$14,200,000	$0	$14,200,000	$9M
x	Play Misty for Me	1971	Universal	$10,600,000	$0	$10,600,000	$950K
x	Honkytonk Man	1982	Warner Bros.	$4,484,991	$0	$4,484,991	$2M
x	White Hunter Black Heart	1990	Warner Bros.	$2,319,124	$0	$2,319,124	$24M
x	Bird	1988	Warner Bros.	$2,181,286	$0	$2,181,286	$14M
x	Breezy	1973	Universal	$200,000	$17,753	$217,753	$750K

The Verdict

Hope you liked this edition. You can find this and more in the wiki for this section.
The next director will be Robert Zemeckis. One of the biggest falls from grace.
I asked you to choose who else should be in the run and the comment with the most upvotes would be chosen. It had to be a controversial filmmaker. Well, we'll later talk about... Zack Snyder. Oh, BoxOffice chose fuego 🔥
This is the schedule for the following four:

Week	Director	Reasoning
May 20-26	Robert Zemeckis	Can we get old Zemeckis back?
May 27-June 2	Richard Donner	An influential figure of the 70s and 80s.
June 3-9	Ang Lee	What happened to Lee?
June 10-16	Zack Snyder	RIP Inbox.

Who should be next after Snyder? That's up to you.

Times used to be fine and dandy like nickel candy
Now feeding a family only can be if a man don't eat
come to crash landin' on famine from feast,
Blame the government gangsters and Monsanto elite
There's plenty of bread for the poorer to feed
But free food imposes on corporate greed
lobbying green for adoption of monopoly seed
elections mislead and your votes a mockery
Cause every politician suffers from a condition
where every mission is clouded by the dollars envisioned
the shot caller coalition keep the paupers imprisoned
while the authors proposition as their wallets thicken
Holistic medicines traded for toxic regimens
Herbal supplements now thought to be troubling
That little yellow flower in the middle of your lawn
We've been brainwashed by commercials all along
Round up the dandelions
Clutch your minerals cause we're past the pinnacle
A land so inhospitable that homelessness is criminal
Where its illegal to feed the hungry, this godless country
Opened my eyes as the matrix unplugged me
These celebrity feuds keep the masses consumed
So far removed from where genocide blooms
Critical thinking removed from public schools
No wonder the average dude appears to be inhaling fumes
Round up the dandelions
CEO discretion molded GMO deception
open your pores for carcinogen reception
Nourish your mind with a lack of nutrition
Bad habits and trends bolstered by repetition
CEO discretion molded GMO deception
open your pores for carcinogen reception
Nourish your mind with a lack of nutrition
Bad habits and trends bolstered by repetition
That's the prophecy of commercial psychology
undermine autonomy, infiltrate subconsciously
Create - a beat - reprise - the line
State - repeat - revise - rewind
pay a premium for mind control medium
feeding 'em 'til they subscribe with a greasy thumb
We interrupt this program with a word from our sponsors
Round ups safe for your lawn, not those toxic blossoms
Round up the dandelions

I think this is worse than having a mother that you can point to behavior of and say “this is why I’m cutting you out”.
Instead of actively giving you a reason to cut them out of their life, the ambivalent mother will make the child feel worthless and unloved thru her lack of compassion or engagement in the child’s life.
I definitely feel like I grew up having an “ambivalent mother”, and it makes days like Mothers Day excruciatingly difficult for me. I’d love to have a mother who enjoys spending time with her kids. I’d love to have a mother that even responds to my texts/calls, but has all the time in the world to comment on every Facebook post known to man.
I think if you asked my mother to name 3 friends of mine she wouldn’t even be able to do it.
Fuck Mother’s Day and fuck all of the commercialized bullshit and pressure it puts on motherless people. It’s the worst day of the year for me. I fucking hate it.

Antagligen helt fel ställe att ställa frågan men är för korkad och dåligt insatt i det här med forum och grejer. Någon som har någon erfarenhet av att sluta med Cymbalta/duloxentin? Har ätit det i typ ett år och har aldrig känt att det gjort någonting förutom att det tagit bort domningastickningar i händer, fötter och ansikte typ. Mår piss på insidan oavsett om jag tar dom eller inte.
Så jag bollade upp det med min läkare och sa att jag tycker inte det ger mig något och har typ aldrig gjort, får bara bieffekter om jag inte tar dom. Men det tyckte han var en jättedålig idé, av någon anledning. Men jag bestämde mig att jag gör det ändå, är ändå sjukskriven och gått in i väggen mm, mm. Så det kan ju inte bli så mycket sämre. Har bra stöd i min närhet. Så jag trappar ner till en början för att sedan sluta.
Men, hur länge kan man förvänta sig att dom här vidriga bieffekterna sitter i? Illamåendet, ringer i huvudet osv. Jag har googlat osv men man vill ju hellre ha någons faktiska erfarenhet.

Hallo zusammen,
im Grunde eine kurze Frage. Vorweg, dezeit bin ich 35(M) und seit ~5 Jahren Angestellt als commercial Projektmanager (CAPM und bald PMP Zertifikate). Ziel waist über Projektkoordinator und dann als Projektleiter zu arbeiten.
Alternativ habe ich und meine Frau eine Geschäftsidee. Allerdings nicht in Deutschland sondern im Ausland. Sie ist dort gebürtig und ich habe eine Residence Ship. In dem Land geht gerade der Tourismus auf und wir haben etwas Geld um dort mit einem Airbnb Buisness anzufangen.
Man sollte natürlich nicht immer über das Scheitern nachdenken aber ich möchte mir aller Konsequenzen meines handelns möglichst bewusst sein.
Letzteres geht immer mit einem Risiko einher. Was bedeutet es für den Lebenslauf wenn so ein Geschäft fehl schlägt? Hat man wieder die Chance im Berufsleben einzusteigen.? Habt ihr Erfahrungen?

Hello everyone. I run my bosses management company for his 4 commercial office buildings. I do everything except the books. I recently got a lease signed and I am in the process of moving the tenant in ahead of schedule. The owner of the company who signed the lease told me he doesn't like paying with checks, only online. I dont blame him.
Their CFO sent me a bank authorization form asking for name, bank, acct and routing numbers. Then ask your permission for debit and/or credit transfers from the account. Problem is my boss is an older man and doesn't trust giving out that information. He is worried there is nothing stopping them from pulling an ACH transfer from our account.
I've been trying to convince him, and I need to get back to this CFO. From what I understand this is normal practice. Keep in mind we are dealing with businesses, not people (does not mean I trust them any more tho). Thoughts?

Me and Lila always carved dozens of jack o’ lanterns every October, so they’d absolutely saturate our lawn on Halloween night. It was our thing. But looking back on it, now that I’ve lost her, I just feel bad for the pumpkins. I almost relate to them, somehow. The way they were carved up, had everything of substance inside of them torn out, and left as hollow, rotting shells with forced smiles.
Needless to say, I didn’t cope with her death well. I didn’t want to cope with it. I wanted the world to drown in the black sludge of my grief. I loathed the people I saw going about their lives, unaware that the world had already ended the moment Lila died. The Earth shouldn’t keep spinning. Life shouldn’t go on. Not without her.
Even my relatives bringing me along on a trip to Kauai only made it worse. The most gorgeous place on Earth, and it made me sick with hatred. Nothing that beautiful deserved to exist if Lila wasn’t ever going to get to see it. It wasn’t fair.
I thought I’d never enjoy or care about anything again. Then I discovered media preservation.
It started with taking some of Lila’s old VHS tapes to a video repair place to fix some issues with the footage before it’s digitized. The job fascinated me. In a universe based on entropy, where everything inevitably fades away and is forgotten… restoring something lost is like snatching it from the jaws of death, right? Like flipping the bird to the universe and its so-called ‘natural order’. People die, but information doesn’t have to.
Now, it doesn’t matter how small — be it some god-awful plug-and-play licensed game, or a cereal commercial from 80’s — it’s my mission to recover it in as high a quality as I’m able, and make sure it’s freely available online for as long as possible.
A couple weeks ago, I came across a big haul. Four boxes of old VHS tapes offered up on E-Bay for dirt cheap. Most of the tapes were just recordings of Cheers episodes already preserved in higher qualities, but one Maxell E-240 caught my interest.
First of all, I’d never seen one so melted. Sure, sometimes they were left in an attic too long, and the colors and audio start to degrade. But this one looked like it had survived a house fire. It was covered in soot and the smell of smoke, and had the overall shape of a chocolate bar left out in the sun a little too long.
Second was the label, which read in neat sharpie: ᴇᴘɪꜱᴏᴅᴇ 4,679,329 ᴍᴀʀ 8 2035.
The casing was so disfigured, I had to bust it apart just pull out the tapes and respool them in a fresh cassette. I tried to iron out the creases in the tape as best I could, but I had no illusions about it accomplishing much — the mylar surface had been irreparably warped in places by whatever fire had half-melted the thing.
Imagine my despair at the sight of that dreaded ‘ɴᴏ ꜱɪɢɴᴀʟ’. I could clearly see the tape wasn’t blank, yet no amount of adjusting the tracking or trying different TVs or VCRs accomplished anything. Just as I was about to give up, though, the thing just suddenly started playing properly at the exact instant the clock struck 3 AM, as if it had only now decided to work. My all-nighter had paid off.
I didn’t dwell on the fact that this ‘miracle fix’ had been impossible. If I’d had any sense, I’d have torn the horrid thing out of my VCR and buried it beneath holy ground. Instead, fool I was, I sat down and watched.
At first, the thing seemed unwatchable. The audio was so distorted that the show’s theme song emerged as a low, crackling, staticky wail that made my head throb, and the logo was completely indistinguishable through the flickering and interference. I thought it was a lost cause for a moment. But then a figure appeared and cleared away the static, like Moses parting the Red Sea.
It was the sight of the show’s host that hooked me. He was just… perfect. Perfect in every way. I knew it just looking at him. Infinitely handsome and likable and charismatic, and he always said the exact perfect thing. The only issue is, I don’t remember a single thing about him now, in the same way you can’t remember a dream that seemed so clear to you while you were experiencing it. He just appears in my memory as this abstract blur in a sharp suit. Yet at the time, I was awestruck, even before he said a single word.
I can’t even remember a word he said. It was like he was speaking another language, one I felt as opposed to heard. I’ll try and transcribe it as best I can into words, but know that it’s only a pathetic imitation.
“... for another night of laughs, prizes, and fun for the whole family, with your host, #####!” I noticed that the audio and visual distortion seemed to suddenly intensify the instant he said his name, rendering it completely illegible. Idiot I was, I figured that was a coincidence. “Tonight is a night of celebration, folks, because thanks to the support of loyal viewers like you, we have just been approved for, get this: two hundred thousand more seasons!”
The “live studio audience” went wild with applause. I put that in scare quotes because, as far as I could tell, besides the host, the studio seemed completely empty. As if he was standing on a plain white stage that extended outwards into infinite darkness on all sides.
“For those just joining us, the game here is simple…” He explained that this was some sort of a trivia show. Every time a guest got an answer wrong, it brought them a little closer to some sort of unspecified ‘punishment’. And if they got it right? He smirked. “Well, they get to delay the inevitable.”
I wondered what he meant by ‘inevitable’. I didn’t have to wonder long.
The host gestured to a curtain that hadn’t been there moments ago, which raised to reveal a middle-aged man. You know the type — bushy mustache, gray hair, round-rimmed glasses. Kind of guy you’d have doing your plumbing. He couldn’t look any more out of place stood up and restrained in that — what the hell is that?
I recognized that metal coffin-looking thing from a medieval torture museum I went to once. The iron maiden. The lid hung open, countless long, needle-like blades poking inwards, threaten to poke a million new holes in him if it was shut.
His situation was not lost on him. “Where… where am I? What the hell is this!?”
“Oh, lucky guess!” The host ‘joked’. More canned laughter. “I know you always loved watching those trivia shows, Malcolm? Weren’t you always sitting there, grinding your teeth, seething that it wasn’t fair? That you should be the one up on stage, winning big?”
The man paused. Even he seemed mesmerized by the unreal perfection of the host before him. “I… this is a… game show?”
“All you have to do is answer a few questions! Think you can handle that, Malcolm?” He pulled out a cue card without waiting for an answer. “And our first question! What were you doing the night of February 18th, 1998?”
The man seemed baffled. “Just… sat on my couch watching the NFL, I think? I’m not sure how I’m supposed to remember —“
He let out a startled squeal as a horrid buzzer sounded. On cue, the lid slid a third of the way closed, making him flinch. “Oooh, I’m afraid that’s the wrong answer, Frank! But you know what? I’ll give you one more chance. What were you —“
“Following a girl home!” The man cried out. “F-from the bar. There, are you happy?”
“Cor-rect!” The canned audience began cheering! “Such honesty! Now, our second question: just what were you carrying while you followed her?”
He hesitated for a little too long. And then the buzzer sounded again, and the lid slid so near to closing that its blades began poking uncomfortably against his skin. He tried to press himself against the back of the maiden as well as his restraints would allow. “Jesus! Okay! A knife, a knife!”
“Awww, if only you’d said that just a second earlier!” Another big question. “Our third question: why, Malcolm? Why did you do it?”
That set Malcolm off. He started thrashing, clawing, screaming. “Let me out of this thing, you maniac! You can’t do this to me! Do you know who I am? Is this some sort of sick joke? My lawyers will have your head for this, you—“
And then the buzzer. All of a sudden, the lid slammed shut full-force, and the man was utterly silenced save for an unnatural, drawn-out wheeze. “Another wrong answer, Malcolm! I’m afraid I was looking for: ‘because if I can’t have her, no one can’!”
I admit it. I laughed. Out of shock more than anything. How was this allowed on TV? I took it as some sort of dark comedy show, and it was kind of satisfying to see that freaky character get his comeuppance. Still, there was something unnerving to me, seeing the man’s eyes through the openings in the maiden. Wide and red and terrified. They just looked a little… too real.
But the maiden disappeared as quickly as it came, before I could dwell on it too much. “Oh, envy! Definitely one of my favorite sins.” More laughter. “Stay tuned, folks! We’ve still got a night of fun and games in store for you! But first… how’s about a word from our sponsors?”
Cut to a corporate logo which I again couldn't recognize.
“This segment was made possible by Buer Health, which has recently announced a brilliant new initiative to protect our citizens from skin cancer by removing their skin completely.”
The camera cut to a massive industrial building, resembling a solid concrete cube around 50 meters in width and height. Its surface bore arcane symbols etched using carvings of wailing, tormented faces. The host would occasionally be rendered inaudible by a deafening metallic scraping from within, though he didn’t seem to notice. The only protrusion from the building’s cubic shape was a single smokestack, belching a scarlet red smoke into the atmosphere. A queue of gaunt figures waited at the entrance, herded and coerced by their grim overseers, and there were no words to describe the procession of scarlet ghouls limping out the building’s other end.
“Owing to the nonlinearity of time, the brand new Grand Skinpeeling Machine has spontaneously appeared several years before construction deadlines, and indeed, before it was even conceived of by anyone in our timeline. People have rushed all the way from Malebolge just to try this miracle of technology out on opening day, and so far, the reviews have been stellar!”
He shoved his microphone in the face of a shambling thing that could only scarcely be called a human. Tatters of flesh clung to its exposed musculature, blowing in the wind. Its eyes were the only hint of color in that sea of bloody red, and they were wide, white and terrified. The thing screamed and wailed for as long as it could before the last tendons connecting its jaw to its face snapped, and it was left to choke and gurgle.
“An amazing wail! The results speak for themselves, folks. The Grand Skinpeeling Machine is a hit!”
So far, I was still laughing along and having a good time. The sight of the next ‘guest’, however, started making me nervous.
It was an old lady.
She couldn’t be a day younger than sixty, the sort of sweet elderly woman who in a just world would be cooking chocolate chip cookies for her grandchildren in a comfy cottage somewhere. But here she was, tied to a metal chair, eyes wide, shaking like a leaf. Unlike the last contestant, she seemed to know exactly what was happening.
“In exchange for our loving endorsement, they’ve agreed to loan us one of their star employees. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for: the Liqisma!”
Something slunk from the darkness far behind her — or perhaps it’d be more apt to say that the darkness birthed it whole-cloth. It was like a living shadow, and it took my eyes a moment to register what I was even seeing.
How do I even begin describing this creature? I could say it looked almost human, or at least like something that may have been human long ago. Or I could start with its skin, which was all black and shiny as latex and seemingly smooth on first glance, but if you looked closer you’d realize it was covered in a million tiny reptilian scales, almost like a shark. Its head was a bald man’s, utterly devoid of any distinguishing features, like the basic stock template for a human being. It was notable only for a complete lack of pupils and irises, its eyes a pure white.
Its body defied basic biology in so many key ways, I had to stare it at for what felt like an eternity just to wrap my mind around its physiology. It was at least five or six meters long, by my estimate, composed of multiple human torsos stacked one on top of the other like segments of a centipede, each melding with the ones around it at the waist and shoulders. Each torso sported a pair of short, stubby arms that propelled it with terrifying grace. It ended with a pair of human legs, perpetually bent on their knees, beneath a ‘tail’ that looked more like its coccyx was poking free from its body.
The old last could clearly hear it, and kept futilely trying to turn her head around enough to get a peek at what stood behind her. I mouthed uselessly, don’t. You don’t want to know.
“Glad you could join us again, Miss Wethersby! Judging by our ratings last week, you seemed to have been a fan favorite!”
Her voice was so soft, I could barely hear it below the static. “Oh, God. Please, why won’t you people let me go? I’ve told you, I’ve never done anything, never hurt anybody. There must be some sort of—”
He waved a hand over her, and it seemed to forcefully snap her mouth shut. “Please, Miss Wethersby, save your breath for our questions!” Another cue card. “Your first question, my friend: where did you and your husband buy your first home?”
She had to think about it for a long time. Eventually, she cried out, “Alabama! Tuscaloosa, Alabama!”
“Ding ding ding! Why, you’re already doing better than our first contestant! Next question: what breed of dog was your childhood pet?”
She had a pained look on her face as she thought. Eventually, a timer started ticking down. It wasn’t visible, so it wasn’t clear how much time she had left exactly, but the sound it made got more shrill and high-pitched with every second. “Miss Wethersby, need I remind you that we have a time limit on this show?”
A tear ran down her cheek. “I… I keep telling you people, I don’t know. I have dementia, I can’t remember, please—”
That buzzer again. “I’m afraid that was the wrong answer! Liqisma?” The old lady shuddered at the sounds of hundreds of feet drawing a little closer to her. “Now, your first grandchild. What did he look like? What color were his eyes? His hair?”
She was crying harder now, like it hurt her that she couldn’t remember something so dear to her. “I told you I can’t remember! Why are you doing this to me!?”
“If you don’t remember them, why would they remember you?” The host mocked as the buzzer sounded, and the beast drew a little closer. “Really, do you believe they still even think about you? Or do you think they’re glad that the old bag of bones isn’t there sucking up their inheritance?”
This went on for… God, it could have been an hour. I was glued to the screen all the while, frozen with terror, praying for this nightmare to just end, for her to make it out okay somehow. He poured over every little detail of the life she lived and the people she loved, delighting in how little of it she could still recall.
And the thing grew closer, and closer… until she finally felt multiple pairs of hands resting upon her shoulders. The thing was looming over her now, and a long, black tongue a few feet in length emerged from its mouth and ran trails of dark saliva over the back of her head. She looked broken down, eyes raw from crying, and I could tell by the dampness of her dress that she’d wet herself.
“Now, Miss Wethersby, our time here has been fun, but I do believe it is time for our final question. Tell me, what is the name… of your only son?”
She couldn’t even answer anymore. She just stared ahead, like her mind was a million miles away. He cackled as the buzzer sounded one final time, and threw his cue cards aside. “Thank you for playing, Miss Wethersby. Better luck next time.”
I would say the thing unhinged its jaw like a snake, but that’d be an understatement. The way the thing’s face malformed and wrinkled and stretched as it opened its maw, it no longer looked even remotely human. Its jaws must have parted at least thirty centimeters apart, revealing a second, pharyngeal pair of jaws that lashed out and gripped the woman’s skull, pulling her headlong into that darkness.
I could hear bones crunching and snapping as its throat constricted down around her body, peristaltic muscles compacting her into a meat slurry, bit by bit. Yet she just wouldn’t die. Even as her skull and upper body were already crushed and compacted, organs and muscles pressed into mulch, she still kicked her legs, twitched her fingers, let out a gurgling that must have been some attempt at screaming. She was squirming even as the beast snapped its jaw shut around the last of her, condemning her to whatever torments awaited her inside the creature.
And all the while, that horrible laughter. “Don’t worry, folks! She’ll be back next week! And the next. And the next…”
Needless to say, I wasn’t having fun anymore. In fact, I had to turn away and fight the urge to throw up. I stood, about to turn the TV off and —
“Ah, ah, ah! Don’t touch that dial, now!” I froze. There was something chilling about the way he said that, staring right into the screen as if reacting to what I was doing. I hated that grin on his face. “The real show is just beginning.”
And with the barely restrained excitement of a child on Christmas morning, he yanked back another curtain, and I recognized everything.
I recognized that crappy bootleg knockoff Always Sunny in Philadelphia jacket that was so gaudy and terrible it instantly became her favorite thing in her wardrobe. I recognized those subtle hints of slight acne she disguised as fake freckles. I recognized the way her gray eyes would remind me of those overcast mornings at the beach at Hilton Head and pointing out all the cannonball jellyfish washed up on the sands. I recognized that tattoo of the name ʀᴏᴄᴋʏ, how I’d held her all night long as she cried into my shirt after her childhood cat had died.
It was Lila.
I shuddered, gasped, fell from my seat as if I’d been punched in the stomach and the air had been knocked out of me. I couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be real. I was dreaming right now. I must be. I just had to wake up.
But I couldn’t wake up. Nothing I could do dispelled the sight of her curled up in that… that thing. That bronze statue of a bull, horns jutting on either side of a head that roaring silently up at the heavens, all while the love of my life was locked in its hollowed out belly, visible only through a pane of glass. I could hear her cry out in shock at where she’d found herself, and every whimper felt like it drove a knife through my chest.
The host soaked in the moment. It was ecstasy for him, the suffering of it all. He stared dead into the camera like he was looking right at me as she called, “What is this? Where am I?”
“Why, I have good news, my dear Lila! You’re exactly where every American dreams of being: you’re on TV.” He pointed to the camera. “And we have a very special guest in the audience tonight. Your very own beloved Jackson!”
I shuddered, hearing my own name ooze from his fetid lips. His façade of perfection was slipping, and there was something so profoundly ugly beneath it. Her eyes snapped to the camera, confused, despairing. “Jackson? Baby? What — what’s happening? What is this?”
I don’t know, I thought, gripping the sides of the TV so hard my knuckles turned white, but I’m going to get you out of there, baby. I’m going to find whoever did this and I’m going to bury them all so far beneath that studio that they’ll never-
“I’m afraid Jackson hasn’t joined us quite yet, my dear. But if you truly love him, surely you’ll give him a show to remember, won’t you?” He taunted her. “All I want, after all, is to ask you a few questions! In fact, I’ll offer you a special deal: get even a single answer right, and I’ll let you go free! But get one wrong and, well…”
On cue, a fire was lit beneath her. Small, smoldering for now, but she whimpered as she noticed the heat. We both realized in that instant what this was. By now, I was screaming things I can’t repeat here, and slamming my hands against the TV screen as if I could reach through and save her.
She bit her lip and acquiesced. Not like she had any room to argue. The host grinned and readied a cue card. “Your first question: where are you, Lila?”
“I… I don’t know. How am I supposed to know?”
“You do know, Lila. You know exactly where you are.” He smirked at her. “Here’s a free hint: what’s the last thing you remember, before you woke up here?
She thought about it… and choked back a sob, visibly shaking as the realization slowly settled in. “But… but why? I… I…”
The horrible wail of the buzzer cut her off. “Oooh, too bad! I’m afraid you’ve run out of time!”
Seemingly as if on its own, the fire doubled in size. Sparks licked the belly of the bronze bull, and began to ever-so-slowly heat the surface. She pawed around in the tight confines, searching for any reprieve from the scalding heat all around her as the metal grew hot like it’d been left out in the sun on a summer’s day. “Please! Oh, God, let me out of this thing! It hurts! It hurts!”
The host seemed to breathe in her pain as if stealing a moment’s indulgence. “Now that there is no doubt about where you are, my dear, let us proceed to the second question.” He switched to his next card. “Did you believe in God, in the end?”
“O-of course!” She pled her case as if she was being tried in court. “My entire life… every day I gave to the poor, helped the sick, did whatever I could to honor Hi-“
“I’m afraid you misunderstood my question. I asked, did you believe in him at the end? The very moment your pitiful little life was snuffed out?”
“I always believed! I’d never forsake Him!”
“Yes, yes, I know. You lived a good and holy life, didn’t you?” He cackled. “But what of the very end? You and your little husband were so excited to deliver your first little baby boy. But o, tragedy! It all went wrong, didn’t it? Your precious little boy didn’t make it through childbirth… and you followed closely behind.”
“That whole business with the botched pregnancy, it was… what do you call it? Ah, yes. A ‘test of faith’. And I’m afraid you failed. In your final moments, you watched the light fade from your child’s eyes, and you assumed — wisely, in my humble opinion — that no ‘kind’ and ‘loving’ God would allow something like that to happen.” He laughed. “Funny how after a lifetime of dutiful service, all it takes is one little mistake at the end… to bring you here. To us.”
I’d never seen such depths of despair in a person’s eyes. Such emptiness. Like with every word, he’d been scooping out another piece of her until she was hollow. And then that buzzer roared again, more shrill than ever, and I could barely see her little window through the smoke and flames. The belly of the bull was turning orange in places, and I could hear her flesh start to sizzle like meat on a grill. There are no words for the noises she made. No words at all.
“And our last, final question,” he continued. “What were your last words to your poor, beloved Jackson?”
“I love you!” I called out the answer. Bloody fingerprints stained the TV screen from my slamming my hands against it, as I screamed the answer over and over. “I love you, I love you, I love you!” At some point, I forgot that there was ever a question. I was just screaming it at her as if hoping that she could hear it, that it could bring her a modicum of comfort in that place.
The buzzer sounded again. I couldn't bring myself to look. All I could hear was the roaring of the bull, and the steam rising from its bronze nostrils.
The curtain fell. Silence drowned the sound. The host dropped all pretense that he hadn’t been speaking directly to me. “Now, Jackson. You just might be one of my new favorite audience members this show had ever had. I know this must have been hard for you. But if you’ll just stay tuned, I have one more show I know you’re certain to love!”
I didn’t bother to touch the remote. After all, nothing could be worse than what I’d just seen, right?
Wrong. Horror wracked me as the curtain rose, and I saw the man chained to a chair. I pulled away like a caveman witnessing fire, cringing and stuttering, face wet with sweat. It was the sort of fear that worked its way into your bones like a bad chill, that left you shaking, teeth chattering.
It was me.
An older me, sure. But not by much. Ten years, maybe. A gaunt and hollow version of me, one twisted by ten years of depression and hard drugs. But it was unmistakable.
His eyes widened as he recognized the host. “Oh — oh God, God please no! It can’t be — oh Christ, let me out of this chair, you —“
“Come, now! We wouldn’t want to use the lord’s name in vain, would we? I mean, that would be a sin!” The host laid a hand on the other me’s shoulder. “It may have been a few years since you watched our program, but I’m sure you remember the rules, don’t you, old friend?”
The other me was wordless, on the verge of hyperventilating, just as I was. The host was giddy with delight. “Now! Our first and only question is one I’m sure our viewer will be very interested in: what sins, exactly, do you think landed you here?”
The other me tried to speak, but the words caught in his throat. I could see it in his eyes. The years of self-destruction, the bitter hopelessness, the whirlpool of nihilism and vice and decay. The suffocating depths of a man. The darkness. How could he put it into words?
The sound of the buzzer was like a pig’s squeal. “Mmm, I’m afraid that our viewer is going to have to figure that out for himself! In the meantime, your punishment? Well, we wouldn’t want to spoil anything…”
The curtains slowly began to fall just as a couple other of those black, grotesque monstrosities emerged from the darkness. The curtain covered them all before I could get a good look at their obscene, twisted, asymmetrical figures. All I could hear was the crunching, the sound of skin tearing like paper, the screaming that went on for longer and louder than a human throat or vocal chords could endure.
The image and audio were beginning to distort, glitch, burn away. The tapes were physically melting as they played. My VCR was starting to overheat, sparks pouring from its front panel. The host voice jumped around in tone, his voice fading into the static blur as the tapes bubbled and boiled and distorted. “But, my friends, I’m afraid that concludes tonight’s episode of our show! So, with a final farewell to our dear, beloved viewer, Jackson…”
Just before the image melted away, the camera seemed to jump forward until his face filled the screen, his eyes piercing into mine as he cackled in that singsong voice.
“See you sooooon~”

Following on from the BBC article posted recently “explaining” the 115 charges laid at Man City’s feet, I decided to look properly at what the charges are, given that the article barely went further than rehashing that Man City cheated over and over again without any attempt at critical analysis.

What are the breaches?

There are 5 main areas that the breaches fall into:

• Accuracy of financial information
• Manager and player remuneration
• Compliance with UEFA regulations
• Compliance with PSR
• Cooperation with the investigation

The actual text of the Premier League’s statement can be seen here: https://www.premierleague.com/news/3045970

Where did the breaches come from?

The original source of the allegations were leaked emails from Portuguese hacker Rui Pinto. Rui Pinto was handed a 4 year suspended sentence last year for attempted extortion, illegal access to data and breach of correspondence with relation to the leaks, which were posted via his Football Leaks website in 2015. Emails from Manchester City were not the only things leaked - players like Messi and Neymar were also caught up in some leaks related to their salaries. In total there were millions of documents.
These leaked emails surfaced via Der Spiegel in 2018 as part of an expose feature which they ran, and spanned 4 articles at the time. You can read the first here: https://www.spiegel.de/international/manchester-city-exposed-bending-the-rules-to-the-tune-of-millions-a-1236346.html
On the back of these leaks UEFA, after launching an investigation in March 2019, charged Manchester City with breaches of their regulations which led, in 2020, to the club being banned from European football for 2 seasons alongside a 30m euro fine.
Alongside that UEFA investigation, the Premier League also opened an investigation. It took until 2023 for them to present their charges - the statement linked above. The case is ongoing.

What about those UEFA breaches?

The club denied any wrongdoing and appealed to CAS, the Court of Arbitration for Sport. Upon hearing the case CAS found no evidence to support UEFA’s conclusions with regards to the allegations. As a result the club’s ban from European football was overturned with immediate effect. CAS sided with UEFA on their non-cooperation charges and stated that the club could have done more to provide UEFA with documents when requested. CAS therefore issued a 10m Euro fine.
You can read the verdict here: https://www.tas-cas.org/fileadmin/user_upload/CAS_Award_6785___internet__.pdf
This was the second time that the club had a run-in with UEFA. They first had a disagreement over potential breaches in 2014 related to the club spending more than the allowed amount in the previous season - the club contested that this was the result of UEFA not allowing deductibles for existing contracts started before FFP was introduced. There were no charges laid at City for this - the club entered a settlement with UEFA and a subsequent monitoring period with specific break even requirements and squad restrictions. That period ended in 2017 with UEFA declaring that the club had complied with all of the agreements within the settlement.

Didn’t City get away with it because everything was time barred?

The CAS verdict did find that the first 2 years of alleged breaches related to the club’s financial statements (the bits referred to as inflated sponsorships) were time barred (a process whereby the time permitted to bring forward the issue has passed and it is no longer possible to pursue the case - 5 years in UEFA’s rules), and so could not be considered. The rest of the years questioned were considered, and ultimately no evidence was found of financial irregularities.

Onto the 115

The Premier League statement lists 5 key areas of breaches, outlined earlier, which I will dive into more now. In total, the number of rules that the Premier League have accused Manchester City of breaching is 130. That is broken down into:

• Accuracy of financial information: 50 rules (2009/10 to 2017/18)
• Manager and player remuneration: 20 rules (2009/10 to 2015/16)
• Compliance with UEFA regulations: 5 rules (2013/14 to 2017/18)
• PSR compliance: 25 rules (2015/16 to 2017/18)
• Non-cooperation: 30 rules (2018/19 to 2022/23)

No matter how I try to recalculate it, I never get 115. I'm unsure of the exact place that the 115 number came from, and it certainly doesn't match the numbers when broken down in the BBC article.
I have broken down the list of breaches and cross referenced them with the Premier League’s handbooks for each season from 2009/10 through to 2022/23. With all five areas of breaches I have provided the text of the rule that the League included in their statement, plus a summarised version that tries to give a less legalese or technical reading. The tables are presented for reference and I won’t go into the specifics of them.

Accuracy of financial information

The Premier League stated:

In respect of each of Seasons 2009/10 to 2017/18 inclusive, the Premier League Rules applicable in those seasons that required provision by a member club to the Premier League, in the utmost good faith, of accurate financial information that gives a true and fair view of the club’s financial position, in particular with respect to its revenue (including sponsorship revenue), its related parties and its operating costs.

Below is the list of breaches taken from the league’s statement, grouped and translated into easier language.

Rules	Season	Text	Summarised
B13, B15, B16	09/10 10/11 11/12 12/13 13/14 14/15 15/16 16/17 17/18	In all matters and transactions relating to the League each Club shall behave towards each other Club and the League with the utmost good faith	Act honestly and fairly towards other clubs and the league itself
C78, E3	09/10 10/11 11/12 12/13 13/14 14/15 15/16 16/17 17/18	Each Club shall by 1st March in each Season submit to the Secretary a copy of its annual accounts in respect of its most recent financial year or if the Club considers it appropriate or the Secretary so requests the Group Accounts of the Group of which it is a member (in either case such accounts to be prepared and audited in accordance with applicable legal and regulatory requirements) together with a copy of the directors’ report for that year and a copy of the auditors’ report on those accounts	Clubs must submit their latest audited financial statements, along with directors' and auditors' reports, to the league by March 1st each year.
C79, E4	09/10 10/11 11/12 12/13 13/14 14/15 15/16 16/17 17/18	The accounts referred to in previous rule shall: 1. include separate disclosure within the balance sheet or notes to the accounts, or by way of supplementary information separately reported on by its auditors by way of procedures specified by the Board, of the total sums payable and receivable in respect of Compensation Fees, Contingent Sums and Loan Fees; 2. include a breakdown within the profit and loss account or the notes to the accounts, or by way of supplementary information separately reported on by its auditors by way of procedures specified by the Board, of revenue in appropriate categories such as gate receipts, sponsorship and advertising, broadcasting rights, commercial income and other income.	Clubs must include detailed and specific disclosures in their financial statements about various types of payments and revenues. These details must be clearly audited and reported
C86, E11	09/10 10/11 11/12 12/13 13/14 14/15 15/16 16/17 17/18	By 31st March in each Season, each Club shall submit to the Secretary in respect of itself (or if the Club considers it appropriate or the Secretary so requests in respect of the Group of which it is a member) future financial information (“Future Financial Information”) comprising projected profit and loss accounts, cash flow, balance sheets and relevant explanatory notes commencing from its accounting reference date or, if it has submitted interim accounts pursuant to Rule E.6, from the date to which those interim accounts were prepared and expiring on the next accounting reference date after the end of the following Season. The projected profit and loss accounts, cash flow and balance sheets shall be prepared at a maximum of quarterly intervals	Each club needs to provide the league with projected (or expected) financial statements for the future. These projections include profit and loss statements, cash flow details, and balance sheets.
C87, E12	09/10 10/11 11/12 12/13 13/14 14/15 15/16 16/17 17/18	The Future Financial Information shall: 1. be prepared in accordance with the accounting principles adopted in the preparation of the Club’s annual accounts (except where the accounting principles and policies are to be changed in the subsequent annual accounts, in which case the new accounting principles and polices should be followed); 2. be approved in writing by the board of directors of the company to which they relate; 3. to include in the explanatory notes thereto principal assumptions and risks; and 4. include for comparison profit and loss accounts for the period covered by the annual accounts and interim accounts submitted pursuant to Rules E.3 and E.6, a forecast for the current financial year and a balance sheet as at the date of the interim accounts submitted pursuant to Rule E.6.	Clubs must:1. Use the same accounting principles as in their last annual report, unless planning changes for the upcoming year. 2. Get these forecasts approved in writing by the club's board of directors. 3. Include notes that explain the main assumptions and risks involved. 4. Add comparative profit and loss accounts and a balance sheet from their most recent financial reports for clear reference.
E49, E50, E51	13/14 14/15 15/16 16/17 17/18	Each Club shall notify the League forthwith of any circumstances which may materially and adversely affect any of the information or representations submitted to the League pursuant to this Section E, and on consideration of those circumstances the Board may, if it considers it appropriate, amend any decision or determination that it made based on such information or representations.	Clubs must immediately inform the league if there are any changes that could significantly impact the accuracy of the financial or other information they have previously submitted

Effectively the Premier League are stating that, for the period of 2009 until 2018, the club have not been filing accurate financial statements. This relates directly to the leaked emails that are presented to show members of staff discussing payment amounts and sources of monies that are paid to the club for sponsorship, namely for the two main sponsors, Etihad and Etisalat, that are referenced in the UEFA trial. As can be seen from the rules above, some of them are more obviously related than others. There has been some criticism of the Premier League for going for such a wide number of charges, as they have not focused on one area.
With regards to this section of breaches, the club claims that the leaked emails are not evidence of wrongdoing, and are not admissible as evidence. CAS found in favour of UEFA’s assertion that the emails were in fact admissible in their case, so the club is unlikely to be able to contest this point further. This section will essentially boil down to whether the leaked emails show enough evidence of wrongdoing, and whether any further context that has been provided by the club (something that was mentioned in the CAS trial as being helpful towards Man City’s case) is sufficient to prove guilt. It is likely that only 1 or 2 of these 50 rules above are actually key. Others, like B13, B15, and B16 which relate to clubs acting in good faith, would not be enough to charge a club without being bundled in with something else.

Manager and Player Remuneration

This section is broken down further into 2 key areas: manager remuneration, and player remuneration.
The Premier League statement:

In respect of each of Seasons 2009/10 to 2012/13 inclusive, the Premier League Rules applicable in those Seasons requiring a member club to include full details of manager remuneration in its relevant contracts with its manager

And;

In respect of each of Seasons 2010/11 to 2015/16 inclusive, the Premier League Rules applicable in those Seasons requiring a member club to include full details of player remuneration in its relevant contracts with its players

Grouped and summarised below:

Rules	Season	Text	Summarised
Q7, P7	09/10 10/11 11/12 12/13	No Club shall employ any person as a Manager unless and until: 1 the terms of the Manager’s employment have been evidenced in a written contract of employment between the Club and the Manager 2 the Manager’s contract of employment has been registered with the Secretary.	Clubs must not hire a manager unless the manager's employment terms are clearly stated in a written contract, and this contract is officially registered with the league's Secretary.
Q8, P8	09/10 10/11 11/12 12/13	Contracts of employment between a Club and a Manager shall: 1 include the standard clauses set out in Appendix 8; 2 clearly set out the circumstances in which the contract of employment may be determined by either party.	Employment contracts between a club and a manager must include mandatory standard clauses and specify the conditions under which either party can terminate the contract. Appendix 8 outlines that the manager must follow the rules of relevant football organisations, obey reasonable instructions related to commercial agreements, and resolve any disputes through arbitration or mediation.
K12, T12, T13	10/11 11/12 12/13 13/14 14/15 15/16	Full details of a Player’s remuneration including all benefits to which he is entitled whether in cash or in kind shall be set out in his contract.	A player's contract must clearly list all the payment and benefits they receive
K20, T29, T18, T20	10/11 11/12 12/13 13/14 14/15 15/16	Particulars of any Image Contract Payment in respect of the Player shall be set out in the contract with his Club	Any payments related to a player’s image rights must be clearly detailed in their contract with the club

The first two key rules relate to manager remuneration, and this is specific to the contract of Roberto Mancini. Mancini was the club’s manager from 2009 until 2013, and the allegations center around leaked emails that suggest he was paid £1.75 million annually as a consultancy fee for UAE based club Al Jazira on top of his £1.45 million salary at City.
For his part, Mancini has stated “I have paid my taxes, it's all above board. So I don't think anyone will be in touch” when asked about the case.
The second two rules are player remuneration and relate to Yaya Toure. The League alleges, again based on the leaked emails, that the club did not disclose all payments to the player, and that payments were made via his agent, Dimitri Seluk, during his contract with the club.
Seluk has stated “I know what has been said about Yaya's contract with City - and what I can tell you is that absolutely everything was done very cleanly, very honestly and with full transparency. Nothing was done under the table.”
Toure was at the club from 2010 until 2018. He originally signed a five year deal, before signing a new contract in 2013 taking him up to 2017. He signed his final 1 year deal in 2017. These allegations relate to his first 6 seasons.

Compliance with UEFA regulations

This section simply relates to the wording of the Premier League rules which state that clubs competing in European competitions must comply with UEFA’s rules in addition to the Premier League’s.
The league states:

In respect of each of Seasons 2013/14 to 2017/18 inclusive, the Premier League Rules applicable in those Seasons requiring a member club to comply with UEFA’s regulations, including UEFA’s Club Licensing and Financial Fair Play Regulations

Once again I’ve presented them grouped and summarised below:

Rules	Season	Text	Summarised
B14.6, B15.6	13/14 14/15 15/16 16/17 17/18	Membership of the League shall constitute an agreement between the League and Clubs and between each Club to be bound by and comply with: - the statutes and regulations of UEFA	Each club agrees to follow the rules and regulations set by UEFA.

This rule breach seemingly relates to the period of time that was not ruled as time barred within UEFA’s case, and is not related to the original settlement between the club and UEFA, but does include the 3 years of the settlement agreement up until UEFA declared City to be compliant. Presumably the Premier League have included these to link to UEFA’s allegations of financial discrepancies related to the Etihad deal. It is unclear how much this could stick, given that CAS ruled that there was insufficient evidence of wrongdoing.
It feels amiss of the Premier League to charge the club with breaches of a rule that had already been thrown out by CAS, so I can only assume that they feel that the club have either breached other rules related to financial fair play, which doesn’t seem to be the case, or they are using the non-cooperation fine handed out by CAS to bring these charges forward.

Compliance with PSR

The Premier League have also charged Man City with breaching profit and sustainability rules. These are the rules that Everton and Nottingham Forest have been docked points for recently and relate to the annual accounts clubs must file to prove their compliance.
The league states:

In respect of each of the Seasons 2015/16 to 2017/18 inclusive, the Premier League Rules applicable in those Seasons on Profitability and Sustainability

I’ve laid these out below, grouped again, and summarised. It should be noted in the below that any reference to T, T-1 and T-2 refers to the current season, previous and 2 seasons before.

Rules	Season	Text	Summarised
E52	15/16	Rules E.53 to E.59 shall apply with effect from Season 2015/16.	The following rules will apply
E53	15/16 16/17 17/18	Each Club shall by 1 March in each Season submit to the Board: 1. copies of its Annual Accounts for T-1 (and T-2 if these have not previously been submitted to the Board) together with copies of the directors’ report(s) and auditors’ report(s) on those accounts; 2. its estimated profit and loss account and balance sheet for T which shall: 2.1. be prepared in all material respects in a format similar to the Club’s Annual Accounts; and 2.2. be based on the latest information available to the Club and be, to the best of the Club’s knowledge and belief, an accurate estimate as at the time of preparation of future financial performance; and 3. if Rule E.56 applies to the Club, the calculation of its aggregated Adjusted Earnings Before Tax for T, T-1 and T-2 in Form 4A	By March 1st each season, each club must submit to the League's Board: Their financial accounts for the previous two years, along with reports from directors and auditors. A forecast of their profit and loss and balance sheet for the current year, ensuring it is up-to-date and accurately reflects expected financial performance. If required, a detailed calculation of their earnings before tax for the current and previous two years
E54	15/16 16/17 17/18	The Board shall determine whether consideration included in the Club’s Earnings Before Tax arising from a Related Party Transaction is recorded in the Club’s Annual Accounts at a Fair Market Value. If it is not, the Board shall restate it to Fair Market Value.	The Board will check if earnings before tax reported in a club's annual accounts from transactions with related parties are valued fairly according to market standards. If they aren't, the Board will adjust these values to reflect the fair market value.
E55	15/16 16/17 17/18	The Board shall not exercise its power set out in Rule E.54 without first having given the Club reasonable opportunity to make submissions as to: 1. whether the said consideration should be restated; and/or 2. what constitutes its Fair Market Value.	Before the Board can adjust any values in a club's financial statements, they must give the club a chance to present their case regarding whether adjustments are necessary and what the fair market value should be.
E56	15/16 16/17 17/18	If the aggregation of a Club’s Earnings Before Tax for T-1 and T-2 results in a loss, any consideration from Related Party Transactions having been adjusted (if appropriate) pursuant to Rule E.54, then the Club must submit to the Board the calculation of its Adjusted Earnings Before Tax for each of T, T-1 and T-2.	If a club's combined earnings before tax for the past two years show a loss, after adjusting any related party transaction values as necessary, the club must then provide the Board with a detailed calculation of its adjusted earnings before tax for each of the three years
E57	15/16 16/17 17/18	If the aggregation of a Club’s Adjusted Earnings Before Tax for T, T-1 and T-2 results in a loss of up to £15m, then the Board shall determine whether the Club will, until the end of T+1, be able to pay its liabilities described in Rule E.14.7.1 and fulfil the obligations set out in Rules E.14.7.2 and E.14.7.3.	If a club's adjusted earnings before tax for the current year and the previous two years total a loss of up to £15 million, the Board will assess whether the club can pay its debts and meet its obligations through the end of the next season as specified in other rules.
E58	15/16 16/17 17/18	If the aggregation of a Club’s Adjusted Earnings Before Tax for T, T-1 and T-2 results in a loss of in excess of £15m then the following shall apply: 1. the Club shall provide, by 31 March in the relevant Season, Future Financial Information to cover the period commencing from its last accounting reference date (as defined in section 391 of the Act) until the end of T+2 and a calculation of estimated aggregated Adjusted Earnings Before Tax until the end of T+2 based on that Future Financial Information; 2. the Club shall provide such evidence of Secure Funding as the Board considers sufficient; and 3. if the Club is unable to provide evidence of Secure Funding as set out in Rule E.58.2, the Board may exercise its powers set out in Rule E.15.	If a club's total adjusted earnings before tax for the current year and the previous two years show a loss greater than £15 million, then the club must: Submit future financial plans and estimated earnings up to two years beyond the current season by March 31st. Provide proof of secure funding as the Board requires. If the club can't show they have secure funding, the Board may take action as outlined in another rule.
E59	15/16 16/17 17/18	If the aggregation of a Club’s Adjusted Earnings Before Tax for T, T-1 and T-2 results in losses of in excess of £105m: 1. the Board may exercise its powers set out in Rule E.15; and 2. the Club shall be treated as being in breach of these Rules and accordingly the Board shall refer the breach to a Commission constituted pursuant to Section W of these Rules.	If a club's total adjusted earnings before tax for the current year and the previous two years show a loss greater than £105 million, then: The Board may use its authority as outlined in Rule E.15. The club will be considered as having broken the rules, and the Board will report this violation to a special Commission as per Section W of the rules.
E60	15/16 16/17 17/18	The sum set out in Rule E.59 shall be reduced by £22m for each Season covered by T-1 and T-2 in which the Club was in membership of The Football League.	If a club was a member of The Football League in the previous two seasons (T-1 and T-2), the amount mentioned in Rule E.59 will be decreased by £22 million for each of those seasons

A lot of this is not specific to anything the club will have breached, and is again a criticism that has been levelled at the Premier League for not being focused enough on charging the club and instead trying to go for as much as possible. Eg rule E52 in the 2015/16 season isn’t really something that would be up for debate, and rule E60, which refers to seasons spent outside the Premier League for adjusting the £105m 3 season PSR limit.
I don’t believe that the club has breached a lot of these rules specifically, and that the Premier League has just grouped PSR as a category together to hit the club with multiple charges. It is likely that the key rule in this section is E54, which discusses related party income and fair market value. This is an important one for City, as the leaked emails have been presented to show the club receiving money from sponsors with funds that have come directly from ADUG, Abu Dhabi United Group, owned by Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan and with an 81% stake in the CFG (City Football Group) that comprises the club.
City have always argued that these sponsorships are not related parties, something that has been previously accepted by both the Premier League and UEFA in separate agreements related to PSR and FFP under their rules. It is likely that the key here is whether the emails imply that they should in fact be counted as related parties, and therefore whether they represent fair market value.
For the other rules in this section, it is unlikely that anything of substance will be proven or even sought.

Cooperation with the investigation

In addition to the above 4 sections, which all covered rule breaches related to the hacked emails, the Premier League charged the club with non-cooperation with their investigation. This does not relate to the breaches themselves, and so you will notice that the seasons are all after the Der Spiegel investigation.
The charges are:

In respect of the period from December 2018 to date, the Premier League Rules applicable in the relevant Seasons requiring a member club to cooperate with, and assist, the Premier League in its investigations, including by providing documents and information to the Premier League in the utmost good faith

Grouped and summarised:

Rules	Season	Text	Summarised
B16, B15	18/19 19/20 20/21 21/22 22/23	In all matters and transactions relating to the League each Club shall behave towards each other Club and the League with the utmost good faith.	Act honestly and fairly towards other clubs and the league itself
B19, B18	18/19 19/20 20/21 21/22 22/23	Without prejudice to the League’s powers of inquiry under Rule W.1, each Club shall comply promptly and in full with any request for information made by the League (including, for the avoidance of doubt, any such request made pursuant to a demand from a statutory or regulatory authority).	Clubs must quickly and fully respond to any information requests from the League, even if these are prompted by a government or regulatory body's demands
W1	18/19 19/20 20/21 21/22 22/23	The Board shall have power to inquire into any suspected or alleged breach of these Rules and for that purpose may require: 1. any Manager, Match Official, Official or Player to appear before it; and 2. any such person or any Club to produce documents.	The Board has the authority to investigate any suspected or confirmed rule violations. For this, they can: Require managers, match officials, other officials, or players to appear before them. Ask these individuals or any club to provide relevant documents.
W2	18/19 19/20 20/21 21/22 22/23	Any Manager, Match Official, Official or Player who fails to appear before or to produce documents to the Board when required to do so under Rule W.1 shall be in breach of these Rules.	Anybody who does not comply with Rule W.1 is in breach
W12, W15	18/19 19/20 20/21 21/22 22/23	It shall be no answer to a request from the Board to disclose documents or information pursuant to Rule W.1 that such documents or information requested are confidential. All Clubs and Persons subject to these Rules must ensure that any other obligations of confidentiality assumed are made expressly subject to the League’s right of inquiry under these Rules. No Club or Person shall be under an obligation to disclose any documents rendered confidential by either the order of a court of competent jurisdiction or by statute or statutory instrument.	The Board can request documents or information even if they are confidential. However, clubs and individuals are not required to disclose anything that is legally confidential due to a court order or by law. Clubs and individuals should ensure any confidentiality agreements acknowledge the League's right to inquire.
W13, W16	18/19 19/20 20/21 21/22 22/23	All persons who are requested to assist pursuant to Rule W.1 shall provide full, complete and prompt assistance to the Board in its exercise of its power of Inquiry	Anyone asked to help must fully, quickly, and completely help the Board with its investigations.

Three of these are your meat and potatoes non-cooperation charges, which the Premier League will have charged City with for not providing documents when requested. A couple relate specifically to individuals within a club, but otherwise these breaches will be the most likely to stick, similar to how they did at CAS.
Man City have maintained that they do not need to cooperate with the investigation which they state as being based on illegally obtained material and have stated that they do not trust the investigation.
Rules B15, B16 make another appearance relating to acting with the utmost good faith.

When will this hearing take place?

We don’t really know. The panel has been chosen and are presumably deliberating, but as with cases of this size and with so many documents, they take time.
League CEO Richard Masters has recently stated that the case will “Resolve itself soon”, which is badly worded and has led to speculation that the club and league are seeking a way out of the case following the charges being thrown out. This is unlikely, as it would be in the interest of both to end proceedings as quickly as possible.
There have been criticisms towards the Premier League regarding the secrecy around these hearings - it is actually within the Premier League’s rules that these occur in private:
Rules W70 and X25 state: The proceedings of an arbitration convened under this Section (W/X) shall be confidential and shall be conducted in private.

Aren’t Man City just stalling?

Not really, no. The club have been charged with non-cooperation by the Premier League for their initial investigation, but there is nothing the club can do to further postpone the hearing taking place. The time required is simply because of the magnitude and seriousness of the allegations put forward by the league.
The original BBC article alleged that City were “dragging their feet” - but this is not something that stops the league handing out charges, and isn’t something that will change the timeline of the independent panel’s investigation.

Punishments

So let's say that City is found guilty - what are the likely punishments to be? The answer is complicated, as it completely depends on what charges are ultimately determined to be warranted. Talk of points deductions amounting to the thousands are pure hyperbole. The specific breaches agreed by the independent panel will influence the size of any punishment.
Given the seriousness of the allegations - essentially fraud across multiple years involving the club, sponsors, auditors and governing bodies - there must be a high bar of proof. With such a high bar also comes a high punishment if the club is deemed to be guilty. It is entirely possible that a proportionate punishment to such deceit would be expulsion from the league. This would however be the least of the club’s worries, as it brings into question the legality of the breaches with regards to individuals, HMRC and other organisations from which payments may or may not have been withheld or deliberately reported incorrectly.
Some of the above charges do not risk carrying any sort of point based punishment. The non-cooperation charges, for example, would be a monetary fine. It is also very unlikely that the league would seek to remove past titles. The scope and burden of proof that specific breaches directly correlated to titles would be too complicated.
Expulsion from the Premier League would require the club to apply to join another league, the EFL the most likely candidate. It would be at the discretion of the EFL whether they accepted the club into their league structure. Given the size of the club and the need to replace the 20th team in the Premier League, it would be likely that they would agree to include the club in their league system as a space would open up in the Championship.

Can the club appeal a decision?

Yes, there are avenues for appeal. That appeal will not go through CAS, as correctly reported, but would go to another panel. Sections W through to Z of the Premier League rulebook detail different types of appeals and tribunals for varying reasons. Section W is the section specifically referred to in the PSR rules (within section E of the Premier League handbook).

There is no Time Bar though in the Premier League

Well, kind of. There is no time bar specifically mentioned in the rules. The Premier League handbook, which you can read at https://www.premierleague.com/about/publications,does state (Rule A7) that “these Rules shall be governed by and shall be construed in accordance with English law. Strictly without prejudice to the arbitration and other dispute resolution provisions of these Rules, disputes relating to these Rules shall be subject to the exclusive jurisdiction of the English courts.”.
Essentially this means that any rules follow English Law, which itself does state a time bar for cases. This is typically 6 years for most cases, with some differences based on specific situations.
In the case of fraud this can vary, and may be the avenue that the Premier League tries to go down (which itself makes the evidence required to prove the case more stringent). For fraud cases, English Law states:

Time bar of 6 years from the date cause of action accrued
Or, if the cause of action is deliberately concealed, 6 years from when the fraud is, or with reasonable diligence would have been, discovered.
Should this be the route the Premier League has chosen then there will have to be a discussion to determine what period of time the charges can be applied to.

What about the length of grass?

There was never a charge about the length of grass. Such narrative about what the charges were came from initial analysis by people using incorrect versions of the Premier League handbook (as the rules change from year to year slightly, and those rules shift in their assignment. This is is why I have grouped them as such in the above tables). All charges relate to financial issues and non-cooperation in the league's subsequent investigation.

What about the Cease and Desist?

Rumours began last week that the club had issued cease and desist letters to individuals and organisations within the public domain related to the charges. As of yet there has been no evidence that anybody has received such a letter (although you’d question why they would publicise receiving one in the first place). It should be made clear that any cease and desist that may have been received by anybody would not prevent them from discussing the charges with which the league have brought on City. Any cease and desist letter is a demand that the recipient stops any activity considered to be unlawful - eg. in the case of this case it would be accusations levelled at the club that are not true. Examples would be the club being called cheats because they’ve done specific things that have not been proven to be true like a false statement or libel.

Can’t we just dock points now like Everton and Nottingham Forest?

Not really, no. Cases of this magnitude take time to deliberate and cross examine. There is no quick way of dealing with such a large case. The Everton and Nottingham Forest cases, by comparison, are simple breaches that can be quantified by simply looking at the submitted accounts, which for both clubs show losses that are above the agreed amount in Rule E53 of the Premier League handbook (and Rule E54 in Nottingham Forest’s case due to their recent promotion that reduced their allowable losses).
Neither club claimed to have not breached these rules, but merely tried to argue the case that their losses were due to mitigating circumstances, which the Premier League did not agree with.
Anybody questioning why analysis of so many historical charges takes longer than clear individual breaches shown on a balance sheet needs to consider whether they want a case to be resolved quickly, or whether they want it to be resolved properly, as the two are mutually exclusive.

Who wins?

Ultimately nobody wins. Reputational damage is guaranteed for either Manchester City or the Premier League depending on the outcome. It can also be argued that enough reputational damage has already been dealt to both organisations. This is often why a settlement is seen as a preferred option, as there is no long drawn out saga. The club have remained steadfast and stubborn insisting that there is no grounds for the charges and that they are innocent on all accounts. The league have been criticised for their handling of the matter and for other PSR breaches recently and don’t seem to be keen to back down in this case either.
There was also the accusation that the league had rushed through presenting the charges in order to disrupt the introduction of an independent regulator by the Government and to prove that it can govern itself. That has largely failed as the IFR (Independent football regulator) looks likely to be going ahead.
The best case scenario for the club is being cleared of all charges - unlikely due to the presence of those non-cooperation charges - a win for the club, but there will be large question marks over the Premier League’s handling, the time taken, the accuracy of the verdict and the secrecy involved. The club will also have suffered reputational damage up to this point, particularly from sections of the football fraternity who have already made their mind up.
The best case scenario for the league is trickier - it doesn’t want to be seen to be a light touch, but conversely it doesn’t want to be triggering the sort of chaos that points deductions and league expulsions might have on one of its most successful clubs of the last decade. In some ways, the league has already lost.

Closing Thoughts

There will be details that I have glossed over for brevity - there is a lot more information in some of the linked documents plus the Premier League handbooks that provides a lot more important context.
I hope the above proves useful to anybody interested in the finer details of the situation, but appreciate that it is probably beyond the scope of the kind of person who posts 115 memes and gets agitated by the lack of discussion around the charges.
There may be inaccuracies. If you spot anything then please let me know and I will make a quick amendment.
TL;DR
Shits complicated Bro

Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Brick, Jasmine, Justin, Millie
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, MK, Ripper, Scott, Sky
Episode 6: The Aftermath I: Trent's Descent
A riff from an electric guitar opened the episode as a pair of purple concentric circles flew across and back in the screen towards the upper-left corner, a group of smaller, bluer circles flying through them in the same direction but at a higher speed. As it neared the top of the screen a large and blocky red 'T' flashed into existence and descended back down, and the background music continued into a theme fit for an evening talk show. A similarly-styled 'D' and 'A' appeared next as a few more purple or blue rings crossed the screen, then the three letters slid in from the left to spell out 'TDA'. The word 'AFTERMATH' popped up from the bottom of the screen, temporarily bumping up the first three letters before they slammed back down and centered the text in the middle of the screen.
A gleam swept across the text from upper-left to lower-right, and the 'D' briefly popped forwards with the faint sound of a camera, turning a little bit counterclockwise before reversing into its former position.
Clip 1
"Any final words?" Chris asked the eliminated contestants.
“Yeah. You guys actually voted me off. I respect that,” Eva nodded with a smirk.
“Good luck dudes. Wicked play,” Geoff smiled as he and Eva got off the bleachers and went to the red carpet.
The 'D' popped out briefly again and another bout of recap footage began.
Clip 2
"Here's the deal," Chef stated, pacing about slowly in front of the teen. "I'll help you man up and win this thing. You don't ask any stupid questions and you split the prize with me.” He leaned in closer towards Brick's face. “Like they say, it's an offer you can't refuse. I won't let you," he finished with a deadly scowl, much to Brick's discomfort.
The 'D' popped out a third time, signaling the start of another set of recap footage.
Clip 3
“Trent, it's time to go!” Chris informed the eliminated contestant.
Trent got off the stands. “Before I do, can I at least say goodbye to Sky?”
“You could, but it'd be pointless since Chef will just carry you to the limo,” Chris smiled.
“Alright,” Trent sighed and faced his former teammates. “I'm really sorry about my actions, guys. I'll see you later.” With nothing left to say, he turned and walked down the red carpet.
A fourth time the 'D' popped out, and the last set of recap footage played.
Clip 4
"Izzy!" Izzy was left gaping. "Time to go!" Chris announced.
“I'm not going anywhere,” Izzy objected. “That's not my name.”
“Can I get a pen over here?” Chris raised his hand in annoyance. A pen was given to him, and he started to write on the paper. “It says "E-Scope" now, okay?!” This made Izzy finally stand up.
"And remember," Chris told her as she started to walk past the stage, "you can never come back, ev-er!" The host pressed an orange button next to his microphone, and two identical guards came over and grabbed Izzy by her arms.
(Theme Song)
The same sequence used to open the recap was replayed, an unseen audience cheering wildly after the 'TDA AFTERMATH' logo shined. The camera faded into a shot of a stage from the shadowed audience; it was set up like a talk show with one couch and table in the middle, and two tiers of couches on either side. A variety of lights both stage and decorative were scattered around, and to the left was a passage backstage half-hidden by dividing walls and the dark red curtains that framed the set.
And most importantly, sitting on that central couch, were two figures. Damien on the left and Priya on the right.
The camera zoomed in on them as the applause died down, a pair of computer displays visible on the table turned towards the hosts as Priya waved. "Hey there everyone!" she greeted with a smile. "Welcome to the brand-new Total Drama Action Aftermath Show!"
She paused as the audience cheered and applauded again, and once they'd died down, Damien spoke up. "We're coming to you live," he said, "to dish everything Total Drama Action!"
"This is where the real action is!" Priya said to another bout of cheering. "I'm Priya!" she added in with a smile.
"And I'm Damien!" Damien beamed.
"You may remember us from the hit series Total Drama Island," Priya continued.
"And it's thrilling sequel, Total Drama Action," Damien said, “even if we're not on it.”
"I hate that we missed out on the season and a chance to get the money,” Priya grumbled but regained her positivity, “but we have our own show, so I think it compensates."
"Being in the sequel could've given me the possibility of being rich, but when I'm with you, money doesn't matter," Damien smiled happily at Priya, and the crowd awwed.
"Aww, that's so sweet!” Priya gushed and turned to the audience. “And with no competitions here, we get to talk to all of you."
“So about that new season. Pretty cool, right?" Damien asked, looking out at the camera.
"Of course," Priya nodded. "They get to be on a film lot and do different kinds of movie challenges. How spectacular is that?" The crowd cheered in agreement.
"Super spectacular," a voice said from off-camera, the shot zooming out to show that the couches on the right had been occupied by the other non-competing contestants. On the top row were Rodney, Sam, and Gwen, while the bottom row had Topher, Katie, and Sadie.
“We were being rhetorical," Damien pointed out, "but hey, thanks for reminding everyone that you're not invisible! Topher, everyone!" The camera focused on the dirty blonde, who took stride in the applause from the audience.
"We also brought along all the others from the first season," Priya said.
"They may be considered losers," Damien said, "but not to us."
“Aww,” Katie gushed.
“That is so sweet, you guys,” Sadie added.
"The pleasure's all ours," Damien replied. "Give it up for Topher!" he said, and the crowd cheered as the camera cut back to the fanboy. He shot a wink as the screen was split and a clip played of him smacking a fly onto his eye and getting it swollen.
"And Rodney!" Priya added, the camera cutting to the country boy waving at the camera. The screen also split to play a clip of him, showing him returning back to the game on boat.
"Katie and Sadie!" Damien introduced the two girls.
“Oh my gosh!” Katie cheered.
“We are so super excited to be here!” Sadie expressed her happiness.
"Next we have Sam!" Priya said as the camera moved to the gamer smiling at the camera as a clip played in the split screen showing him hanging from a tree by his knees before falling down.
"And how about a shout out to Gwen!" Damien said. Gwen smiled at the camera while the split screen showed a clip of the goth eating blueberries from a bush.
The camera cut over to Topher, who was engrossed in a phone call. "How long are the papers going to take?" he asked before noticing the audience. "Sorry mom, but I'll have to call you back later!"
Priya and Damien shared a glance before Damien smiled at the camera. "We've also got a lot of texts and emails from all of you!" he said excitedly.
"Plus," Priya said, "we'll have a couple of you on webcam!"
"Eva and Geoff will be here," Damien announced, and the crowd went wild.
"And let's not forget our favorite nutcase, Izzy!" Priya added with a smile, earning another roaring cheer from the crowd.
"Plus the guy with the soul of music, Trent!" Damien finished to another round of applause.
"You know what's strange? The four that you two mentioned were part of the final six in Island along with Scott and you, Priya," Topher said.
"That is pretty shocking," Priya added. "Eva and Geoff especially."
"Eva could have won the season again, but I guess no one wants a repeat," Sam laughed a bit.
"We've got a lot to talk about," Damien told the audience. "It's almost time to welcome our first guests," he announced, "but first, take a look at this!" The nervous wreck looked up to the wide and flat television hanging above the central couch.
The television's static cut to a clip of Geoff and Eva running together to escape the monster. "Geoff and Eva's time on Total Drama Action may have been short," Damien said.
"But it sure was packed with the action that we grew to love," Priya continued as Eva and Geoff stuck their heads out from behind a cardboard cutout of a small red car.
"Eva managed to recover from her broken ankle from last season," Damien continued as the muscle woman was shown running through the sidewalk.
"And Geoff proved that losing a tooth doesn't mean losing your positivity," Priya said as footage of Geoff showing off his golden tooth replacement was shown.
"And they both did well for themselves, even if they didn't win the second challenge!" Damien followed up as clips of Geoff and Eva being shown on the ground along with being shot with paintballs courtesy of Chef played.
"But unfortunately, they weren't able to play for another day!" Priya continued.
"I don't even blame the contestants since Eva and Geoff were last season's Final Two," Damien spoke as a clip played of the two going into the limousine. "At least they still have their friendship!"
"One has eaten dog food," Priya said, "and the other has taken control of a forest fire. Our first two guests are Geoff and Eva!"
The Aftermath theme tune played and the crowd went wild as Eva and Geoff pushed open the backstage doors and walked out, smiling at both the audience and the hosts as they took their seats on the lower couch on the left.
"Hey guys!" Priya greeted with a smile as Damien waved.
"Damien! Priya! Glad to see you two again!" Eva said happily.
"Yeah!" Geoff added. "You two getting the hosting gig is impressive!"
"Great to have you guys!" Damien told them. "Sorry you two got eliminated first."
"No need to apologize," Geoff said. "We didn't leave completely empty-handed!"
"Wait, how so?" Damien asked in confusion. "You didn't win the money."
"Not like that," Eva answered. "Geoff managed to take pictures of everybody and everything from the first two seasons to put onto his scrapbook."
"And Eva managed to use part of her money to get construction to build her dream gym," Geoff added. "It's still in construction by the way."
“So how did you two manage to become the Aftermath hosts?” Eva asked them.
"The producers took note of me and Damien's relationship and decided on us being the hosts," Priya answered. "I couldn't pass up this opportunity."
"And plus, the other non-competitors either refused or were turned down," Damien added.
“They especially turned me down,” Topher grumbled. “I would've made a great host.”
"That's pretty understandable," Eva said. "I sure as heck don't want to run my mouth longer than I need to."
"Yeah, hosting a show is something I won't be able to perform well in," Geoff added.
"Moving on," Damien said, "how does it feel being the first two voted off the show?"
"Honestly, I gotta say it was kinda like a punch to the gut," Eva admitted. "I know I'm strong, but I didn't think the contestants would team up to vote us out in just the first episodes."
"I didn't mind as much," Geoff interjected. "I mean, I did want to win the million dollars, but given how we competed in every episode of the first season, it seems fair for us to go home early this time around and give the others a shot. And besides, money isn't everything."
"Thanks for your inputs," Priya said as the camera cut over to her and Damien, "I think it's time for a game called 'Truth or Hammer'!" The crowd started to go wild.
A grand tune played as a shot of a golden statue of Lady Justice was shown. The camera slowly pulled back from it, and as the music ended a large wooden mallet swung down from the left and smashed it to pieces.
Damien stood up as the scene cut back to the hosts and guests. "Here's how this works: we ask you a question, and if you give the wrong answer, a huge hammer will swing down on you."
"Uh, what?" Geoff said as he and Eva looked at each other nervously.
"Eva, Geoff, move out of the way as we do a test run!" Priya announced, and a giant wooden hammer immediately swung down at Eva and Geoff, the two barely avoiding the hit.
"Looks like the hammer is working well. How about we get to the questions?" Damien turned his head to the reality TV fan.
"Absolutely," Priya agreed. "So Eva, after winning last season, why do you think things didn't go well for you this time?"
"Like we both said, we were big time threats. If we didn't get voted off in the second episode, one of us likely would've been in the final two again," Eva answered and looked above her, the hammer still remaining in its position.
"I'm a strategic player, and if I wasn't the first season's winner, I obviously would've voted out the strongest player just so I could get closer to winning," Eva continued.
"Good answer!" Damien said. "So Geoff, are you even remotely mad at not winning the first season and getting kicked off in the second?"
Geoff looked up. "I'm not going to lie at all, especially when there's a hammer that can crush me," the party guy said. "I'm kind of upset."
Everyone was silent for a moment before it became clear the hammer wasn't going to swing down. "I mean... it's like you got dreams for this money and to see them flushed down the drain is disappointing," Geoff explained. "But it is what it is. I had a good time competing, and I got news from one of my brothers that my golden tooth can be sold for money, so at least I got some compensation."
"I'd suggest cleaning the tooth before you sell it," Damien advised before looking at the camera and smiling. "So how about we hear from one of the viewers!"
"Let's see," Priya said, looking down at the computer display on the table in front of her. "CunningLinguist316 asks: Who are you rooting for now that you've been eliminated?"
"Well, I'm rooting for Sky," Eva answered. "I can see some parts of myself in her, and she's one of the more worthy players in the game."
"I'm hoping my man Chase wins," Geoff answered. "He's super athletic and fast, and we're sorta like each other in many ways."
"Good to hear your thoughts," Damien told them.
"Exactly!" Priya added. "But I think it's time we bring out our next guest."
The camera panned up to the wide-screen television as footage of the wild child began to play. "Izzy's time on Total Drama Action may have been short," Damien said over a clip of Izzy pushing Ripper out of the way and getting captured by the animatronic monster.
"But it was a thrill ride," Priya added.
“Seriously, Izzy can make a bowl of paste tasty by adding herself to it,” Damien quipped over Izzy getting dropped into the bouncy castle.
"Later on, she suffered a serious blow at the hands of Chef," Priya added over the footage of Izzy falling onto the ground after getting shot in the chest with a paintball and Chef looking over her in worry.
“Chef thinks he's killed her. Look how scared he is!” Damien chimed in as the recap footage paused on Chef; a red circle was drawn around Chef's face.
“Never thought he'd have a sense of humanity. Check this part out! Super hilarious!” Priya giggled over Izzy standing up and laughing about her fake death. “Unfortunately, it was Justin that ruined Izzy's chances when the two took to the stage.” The clips of Justin performing his role and Izzy grumbling over her loss played.
"Dramatic and devious, Izzy will be back for more," Damien continued as the footage showed Izzy getting up from her seat and blowing kisses as the limousine took her away.
The scene returned to the hosts. "Our first guest has impersonated a grizzly and was caught peeing in a pool. Currently number eight on the RCMP's most wanted... Izzy, A.K.A Kaleidoscope!!"
The crowd went wild as the Aftermath theme played, but it suddenly stopped as the hosts looked up at the television. It was now showing footage of a room backstage where Izzy was currently sitting on a couch and eating crackers. The crazy girl had a snack tray-laden table in front of her, and to the left was a television showing the same feed as the one on-stage.
Izzy took notice of the television set. "I'm on TV!" she exclaimed before accidentally spitting out her chewed-up crackers, making the audience laugh quietly. “Oh, oops. Cracker crumbs, you get back here!” She grabbed the crumbs, along with a few grapes and a cracker sandwich with cheese in the middle, and put them all in her cleavage, prompting more laughter.
Izzy stood up and walked out to the stage, the Aftermath theme playing again as she opened the backstage doors and walked out. The audience cheered, and Damien and Priya, along with Eva and Geoff - who were now on the top row of the couches - waved at her, causing her to return the gesture.
“Hello E-Scope!” Priya eagerly greeted her friend.
"Hi, Priya. Hi, Damien," Izzy greeted back as she sat on the couch. "So glad to be here."
“Awesome to have you, but it must be hard losing out on a million bucks,” Damien talked to her.
“Yeah, well... you would know,” Izzy responded, unamusing Damien and Priya while the audience gasped. “Hi, you guys!” she focused on the Peanut Gallery.”
“Hi, Izzy!” Rodney waved.
“Hi, everyone out there in TV land!” Izzy turned to the camera and noticed someone in the audience. “Graham Cracker! That's my old boyfriend Graham! He got a restraining order against me last year. Remember that, Graham?” The audience started mumbling. “So funny. Okay. We were in the courtroom and the judge was all like, "You cannot come within two hundred meters of the plaintiff or you shall suffer the consequences of this courtroom."
After taking a moment to laugh, Izzy continued her story. “The long distance was hard, but we made it work. By the way, Graham, you should get new blinds for your room. What are they made of, lead? I couldn't see a thing with my binoculars! Miss you, Graham Cracker!” She took a cracker out of her cleavage. “I am totally into crackers right now. They're just so flaky!” She giggled and put the cracker into her mouth.
“Kind of like someone we already know,” Damien muttered quietly.
“So Izzy, how did it feel to be the third one voted off the show?” Priya asked.
“My life is an open book. Well, not yet, but it will be once I write it. And you open the book!” Izzy guffawed.
“What was going through your head after being voted off?” Damien questioned.
The music turned sad. “When you realize you're not getting a Gilded Chris Award, well, I can't lie to you,” Izzy sniffed in a rare moment of sadness.
“Oh, it was that painful?” Priya expressed her sympathy.
“No, I just can't lie to you,” Izzy returned to her normal state. “I was outfitted with a lie deterrent microchip that sends shock waves at the first hint of dishonesty. Those are really nice pants, Damien.”
Izzy then got shocked in her neck, demonstrating the microchip inside the body part, but the wild child laughed it off.
“Carrying on,” Damien said uncomfortably. “So what exactly did losing out on the Gilded Chris mean to you?”
“It means I missed out on that buttery chocolate statuette. Ooh, I once took an art class sculpting chocolate nudes, my instructor said I had a real flair for cocoa,” Izzy brought up and earned another electrocution. “Okay, okay, okay. He said I was totally loco. That's what he's actually said.”
"Let's see if you can be honest while answering our questions,” Priya said sneakily, “and the giant hammer will come down if you don't tell the truth!"
“If my implant doesn't get me, the hammer will!” Izzy said, earning laughs from the audience.
Priya and Damien shared a look of bewilderment before facing the camera happily. “Want to know which questions we'll be asking Izzy?" Priya asked the camera.
"Be sure to stay tuned," Damien said. "Right now, we have to take a quick break! We'll be right back!"
The show's logo was shown again, and the 'D' popped out and transitioned the scene to a close-up of a plate of brown mush sitting on a tan-and-goldenrod striped table. Flies were buzzing around it, and part of a familiar torso could be seen standing behind it.
"This episode of the TDA Aftershow," Chef Hatchet said to a catchy elevator music-like jingle as one of the flies buzzing around died and the camera began to zoom out, "was brought to you by Chef's Roadkill Cafe, where Sundays are Bring Your Own Meat!" The camera stopped moving to show the hulking man in full, standing between the table with the plate of mush and a large stone fireplace in the background. In his left hand he held a skewer of a reddish and steaming hunk of meat resting on a plate-like guard piece. The tail of a skunk extended from the top of the meat hunk.
"You hit it, we spit it," Chef said with a motion to the steaming dish in his hand.
(Commercial Break)

Hey. I'm that guy that got obsessed with tape speeds. :) And I have some real results. Lots of ifs and buts, but the TLDR version is this: two tracks on side B of N01 share an origin with TMS. They are No Chance You'll Pay by Private Lives, and Torch by Soft Cell. Though not recorded from the same radio station (these are from Hilversum 3) they are likely copied over from the same part of the same origin tape, and therefore likely recorded around the same time.
For the BASF4 tape things are less clear cut, but on that one Hot Water by Level 42, and The More You Live by A Flock of Seagulls may share their origin tape with TMS. With an even lesser degree of certainty the tracks surrounding TMS on side A may also: Twilight Zone by Golden Earring, Wot by Captain Sensible, and The Dominatrix Sleeps Tonight by Dominatrix.
If this is all true, TMS was likely broadcast late August or early September 1984. And I am confident enough about the N01 tracks to state that TMS at the very least was not broadcast before July 1984, since the album containing No Chance You'll Pay was only released in the second week of July.
There is lots to unpack here, but it all starts with u/marijn1412's post about phase differences. From his measurements (collected in a sheet here) for all Darius' tapes of which we have digital copies, for tracks with known broadcast dates, I noticed that tracks from the same date and preserved on the same tape tend to have the same phase difference. I noticed the same thing for tracks on N01 side A, for which u/marijn1412 shared his measurements in a comment.
Then I went looking for more characteristics that any tracks might share as well. My first thought was 10kHz dip frequency, but we only have those for NDR tracks. What should have been obvious, but I only came to think of later, was that we use the dip frequency offset as a proxy for tape speed offset in the first place, so for non-NDR tracks I could simply compare the tape speed to known released versions of tracks. I then also did that for those NDR-tracks that I hadn't done it before, to get a more precisely idea how narrowly tape speed offset and 10kHz dip offset match. After that I got carried away and also measured the 14kHz dip frequencies for tracks in which I could detect one (albeit very faint sometimes). Here is a table with some of the results:

tape	track	speed	dip freq	14kHz dip %	dip freq adjusted	Δ phase in ms	possible broadcast dates
N01 side A	Nik Kershaw - The Riddle	101.19%	10,062.70	100.41%	9,943.97	-0.9	Nov 15, 17, 20, 22, 23, 24, 28, Dec 11, 15, 16, 22, 27, 1984
	The Psychedelic Furs - Heartbeat	100.38%	10,023.70	100.29%	9,986.15	0	1984-12-02
	[snippet] Miquel Brown - Black Leather		10,027.70			0	1984-12-02
	Sad Lovers & Giants – Clint	99.27%				-0.9	?, album relase week of Nov 11, 1984
	Sad Lovers & Giants – Alice (Isn't Playing)	99.30%				-0.9	?, album relase week of Nov 11, 1984
	Sad Lovers & Giants – 3 Lines	99.06%				-0.9	?, album relase week of Nov 11, 1984
	TMS	?	9,951.70			-0.18	?
	Screaming Dead - Serenade of Suicide	99.57%	9,950.40	99.56%	9,993.87	-0.14	1984-09-28
	Sean Heyden - Party Boy	101.34%	10,066.80	100.62%	9,933.98	0	Nov 28, Dec 13, 31, 1984
	Death In June - She Said Destroy	99.75%	9,847.40		9,872.08	-0.2	1984-09-28
	The Gun Club - Watermelon Man	98.57%	9,847.40		9,990.16	-0.2	1984-09-28
	The Gun Club - Eternally is Here	98.39%	9,859.50	98.34%	10,021.34	-0.2	1984-09-28
	[snippet] The Cult - Go West		9,841.30			-0.2	1984-09-28
	The Teardrop Explodes - Treason	98.43%				-0.16	?, single release 1981
	XTC - You're the Wish You Are I Had	102.72%				-0.2	?, album release 1984-10-15
N01 side B	The Barracudas - I Can't Pretend	100.50%				-0.45	?, album 1981, single 1982
	Private Lives - No Chance You'll Pay	99.34%				-0.18	?, album release week of July 7, 1984
	Soft Cell - Torch	99.41%				-0.18	?, commercial release 1982
	Heaven 17 - And That's No Lie (maxi)	98.83%	9,887.10		10,003.74	-0.25	Sep 21, 22, Oct 4, Dec 28, 1984
	The Icicle Works - Hollow Horse	99.18%				-0.25	?, single release Sep 25, 1984
	Blue Murder - Gone With The Wind	98.81%				-0.25	?, album release Aug 1984
	Tears For Fears - Shout	99.40%				-0.23	?, single release Nov 23, 1984
	Lloyd Cole and The Commotions - Charlotte Street	100.30%				-0.23	?, album release Oct 12, 1984
	Blaine L. Reininger - Birthday Song	97.51%	9,814.40		10,064.71	-0.27	?, album 1984, other album track on NDR May 21, 1984
	The Barracudas - I Ain't No Miracle Worker	99.16%	9,916.00		10,000.00	-0.23	Jul 23, 1984
	Simple Minds - Someone Somewhere	98.80%				-0.05	?, single release 1982
BASF 4 side A	Heaven 17 - Sunset Now (Extended)	100.60%	10,083.60	100.65%	10,023.06	-0.05	Sep 22, 1984, Oct 1, 1984
	Depeche Mode - Master & Servant (Extended)	100.14%	10,082.90	100.78%	10,068.80	-0.05	Oct 2, 4, 6, 12, 13, 20, 27, 1984
	Malcolm McLaren - One Fine Day/Madame Butterfly	102.41%	10,078.90	100.55%	9,842.00	-0.05	Sep 7, Nov 14, Dec 3, 1984
	Simple Minds - Up on the Catwalk (Extended)	100.76%	10,081.60	100.84%	10,005.95	-0.11	Mar 22, 24, 31, Apr 7, 1984
	Corey Hart - Sunglasses at Night	100.12%	10,083.00	100.55%	10,070.91	-0.05	Aug 9, 21, 24, Sep 2, 26, Oct 1, 5, 6, 22, 27, Nov 9, 1984
	Ray Parker Jr. - Ghostbusters (Extended)	101.84%	9,938.20	100.55%	9,758.35	0.14	Sep 8, 23, 1984
	Golden Earring - Twilight Zone	100.79%	10,042.50	100.87%	9,964.18	0	Sep 3, 1984
	TMS	?	10,160.30			0	?
	Captain Sensible - Wot	101.01%	10,031.10	100.59%	9,930.80	0	Sep 4, 1984
	Dominatrix - The Dominatrix Sleeps Tonight	99.82%	10,060.00	101.34%	10,078.14	0	May 16, 1984
BASF 4 side B	The Legendary Pink Dots - Love Puppets	102.35%	10,160.30	100.81%	9,927.02	0.09	1984-09-17
	Level 42 - Hot water	101.39%	10,070.80	101.44%	9,932.83	0	Aug 30, Sep 23, Oct 10, 13, 15, 1984
	A Flock of Seagulls - The More You Live, The More You Love	101.37%	10,112.50	101.13%	9,975.83	0	Aug 17, 22, 27, Sep 1, 1984
	Silent Running - Young hearts	101.85%	10,270.70	102.01%	10,084.14	0.09	Aug 25, Sep 20, Oct 9, 1984
	Private Lives - Living in the world	101.25%	10,134.00	101.36%	10,009.38	-0.09	?, commercial release (UK) Jan 16, 1984
	David Bowie - Neighborhood threat	101.34%	10,134.70	101.32%	10,000.89	-0.09	?, album release Sep 29, 1984
	XTC - Seagulls screaming kiss her, kiss her	101.52%				-0.07	1984-10-18
	XTC - This world over	100.11%				-0.07	1984-10-18
	XTC - I remember the sun	100.11%				-0.07	1984-10-18
	The Cure - A forest	100.09%				-0.07	1984-10-18
	The Cure - Charlotte sometimes		-			-0.07	1984-10-18

First of all: on average the dip, after correcting for tape speed, is very close to 10kHz: 9979 Hz, for the tracks measured here, but as you can see there are some deviations. Some of these might be explained by some tracks being actually broadcast fast or slow (or the track versions that I measured against not exactly matching with what was broadcast; it was sometimes hard to find matching versions), but there are indications that the dip frequency was wandering a bit off every now and then, also within tracks.
That caveat out of the way, if we now look at the two tracks on N01 that match TMS's phase difference of -0.18 ms, we see speeds of 99.34% and 99.41% (relative to known release version). This matches very closely to TMS's speed of 99.52% as derived from its dip frequency. That is too much of a coincidence for me, especially considering that tape speeds for recordings that we know to be from the same date match very closely for tape speed. That leads me to conclude that the two tracks originate from the same tape as TMS and were recorded around the same time.
Sadly we don't know when these two tracks were broadcast. What we do know is that one of them is a track from an album of which the release was announced in UK magazine Music Week of July 7th 1984. The other one is a single from 1982.
For BASF4 things are a bit more murky. TMS's phase difference there is 0, the default we would expect from a recording. I'm less confident that tracks sharing that necessarily share the same origin, but the tracks on side B, Hot Water and The More You Live do match TMS fairly closely for tape speed, and each other even more in that respect. This would give lead to the speculation that they were recorded around the same time, which looking at the protocols, would indicate August 30 and September 1, respectively. Two other tracks with phase difference 0 on side A have known broadcast dates of September 3 and 4, while the third one is lacking in the protocols (apart from showing up crossed out on the May 16th protocol; note that more NDR tracks are on the tapes that we haven't found in the protocols). These tracks are also further off from TMS in terms of tape speed, so here I am hesitant to make any bold claims.
I'll continue my research. There are lots of more parameters to look at.
For now, we should try if we can find dates close together at which both No Chance You'll Pay and Torch where played on Hilversum 3, prioritising late August and early September 1984. I don't immediately see an obvious avenue for how to pursue that. One other thing to keep in mind is that the dates for which we have tracks with non-matching phase differences and tape speeds can now tentatively be excluded.
Special thanks to u/marijn1412 who set me off on the hunt.

Slightly long post, so please excuse me. I was listening to "Pachai Kiligal" from "Indian" and was reminded of how the entire movie's emotional tug rested on Senapathy's family's peace being violently disturbed by an unfortunate gas cylinder explosion and the subsequent corruption that exists in every corner of society. This "slice of life" and very rooted screenplay that Shankar put great attention to in his early phase (almost all of them happening in flashbacks) — the relationship Arjun and Vineeth shared with their mother and Nambiar's character in "Gentleman"; the unique father-son bonding in "Kaadhalan" (who can forget that scene of SPB chugging down a full bottle of beer in one go beside Prabhu Deva); even the pettiness shown by one's own family members back in the village in "Jeans" (what a force Raadhika was!); Ambi's Triplicane-based family and their eccentricities in "Anniyan" — starts to clearly fade into a series of very shallow moments in "Sivaji" (it was massy and entertaining, but undeniably LOUDER than those previous films). I can't help but feel this is completely lost when it comes to commercial cinemas these days when very forgettable supporting characters or half-assed emotions are being bandied about. Of course, Shankar had tremendous contributions from writers such as Balakumaran and Sujatha (and music from ARR, of course) — but there was still his signature style and understanding of the rural/middle-class life that even directors like Mani Ratnam could not truthfully capture. In his quest to consistently create extraordinary cinema on a gigantic canvas, our man seems to have left behind the very tools that made him stand out — not breathtaking CGI or jaw-droppingly choreographed songs and fight sequences but that unique ability to capture very relatable "slice of life" moments. Perhaps he needs better writers and not surround himself constantly with yes men. Because if one of the most iconic directors of our time is reduced to thinking of stories as a sequence of Instagram reels that give a sugar-high and not much else to chew on, what hope does Tamil cinema really have?