[First] [Previous] [Next]
When did I allow this to happen? How is it ten at night already? I just played a couple of rounds and it’s already dark outside!

“You should know already that your perception of time is FUBAR. Not to mention these hobbies of ours really don’t help grasping what’s going on.”

It didn’t use to be like this.

“Oh yeah? Can you remember how long you’ve been using the computer?”

Of course I can. It’s been in my life since I was like six or something, when Dad brought home that used computer with all the Dobrand games! But I didn’t pay much attention to it back then…

“That’s not how I remember it. We used to spend entire afternoons playing with the Encyclopedia, and trying out those games we barely understood. Maybe going into the Cartoon Central website too, even if we couldn’t read very well. Face it, we’ve always been addicted to distractions…”

Ok, maybe a little, but–

“And even before we started to use the internet more seriously, we’ve never been very into sleeping at all. Remember how we used to check the channels back then? Zapping and looking for stuff on the TV? Back then everything was so scary and novel at these hours… Now it feels just like a routine. We’ve always been night owls.”

Frowning and feeling the voice creeping on me more than usual, I finally close the game and my computer, standing up and turning on the lights to look at my room. The floor is still filthy, the plates are still scattered about… opening my closet, I not only see what remains of my clean clothes and the old montgomery hanging, but also the old bamboo blade I used to train with.

“Yeah. Remember that? How everyone looks for a local sport to practice and you chose fucking kendo? Not sure if that was just the weaboo in you, or you are just that pretentious.”

I pick up the long stick and take a look at it from the sides. Four bamboo sticks, held together tightly by leather straps and string. It’s elegant in its simplicity, firm enough to hurt a little when hit by it, but not strong enough to really harm, mostly thanks to the white leather covering its tip. The handle has the dark stains of sweat coming from the months of use.

“Before you left it incomplete, like everything in your life.”

Sigh.

I put the blade back in the closet and then turn around, grabbing the many plates and cups that were piling up in the room and walking the dark way over to the kitchen to clean them up.

“Cleaning plates in the middle of the night. That’s the kind of stuff Venus did back when she was here, just to call your attention.”

Ignoring this annoying voice is getting harder… I am tempted to pick up the S.O.S. pill, but if I do that I can say goodbye to my agency for the entire night and maybe even a few hours after waking up. Urgh.

“Guess you’re stuck with me, huh?”

Biting my lower lip, I try to focus on the task at hand, cleaning each plate as carefully as I can and trying to ignore the feeling of grease building up on my hands. Saints above, it is so disgusting! I can’t stand it, really. But if I keep letting the plates stack up, I’ll never do it.

“Look at you trying to be responsible. So silly. You’ll just let them stack up again soon enough.”

“What matters is that you are trying your best.”

Ah, there She is. Still talking from the corner of the room… Her kindness has always felt fabricated to me. Fake.

“It’s hard to accept mercy from yourself.”

You are not me.

The glugging of the drain interrupts me before I can start arguing again. With a heavy sigh, I let the water run away to clean my hands for a moment, and then, now that everything is clean and in place, I close it and walk back to my cave and take a seat back beside the window, opening the blinds just to see the darkness of a misty winter night in Saüle.

“Maybe it’s time to sleep after all.”

“You’ll just start rolling around, kicking and stirring all night.”

“You’ll eventually fall asleep!”

“Or maybe you won't. Let’s just keep playing until the Sun rises.”

I’ll do you both one better and just go back to the living room to check Dejima.

“Oh right! It has been a few hours, hasn’t it?”

“If you are so eager to be disappointed…”

Taking the computer back to the dining table and reconnecting it to the Tripolar Edge Router is easy enough, and yet I still feel the anticipation killing me. My hands tremble a bit as I type the address again, and even more when I have to wait the eternity until it loads.

My post… it got answers! Four answers to be exact! It’s not much but, considering how few users are online at a given time here, it’s good!

“omg it’s so cute when people actually come and use the ‘Introductions’ spot. I mean it, it’s great. It’s also cool to see new faces here, welcome! My dms are open if you want to ask anything.” — GalaxyTaco

“Hey there! We are all glad to have you here! If you have any doubts or questions, throw them my way and I’ll see to answer them whenever I can!” — Ventotto

“Fresh meat, bring out the paddles! Just kidding, welcome in, kid. Hope to see ya in the chatbox one day.” — jeepcreep

“Welcome. Complete your profile data.". — ογδόντα

Three of these are mods, so that was to be expected… but this ‘GalaxyTaco’ guy. He seems like a nice fella. Maybe trying to gun for mod too, or maybe just a legitimately friendly person! Whatever the case, the Helenian mod had made a fantastic point. I did have to complete the profile stuff.

“Does it have to be now? It’s late…”

Yes, it does. I click back to my profile and, well, it asks stuff like ‘Email’, ‘Country’, ‘Languages Spoken’ and ‘Gender’, all easy to answer.

Email: [simple.times@gamail.com]()
Country: Wohl.
Languages Spoken: Wohlian, Dobrand.
Gender: I’d rather not say.

“What sort of stupid answer was that?! Are you really this delusional!?”

Please. Just… let me have this…

“Don’t come crying when they learn you’re a man and you get all embarrassed.“

“Are they a man? Have you not stopped for a second to think that maybe they would be more comfortable as a–”

Shut up.

Both of you. You are looking way too deep into this. I’ll leave it as it is and that’s final.

With a huff, I go to the next section of the profile… ‘Referred to by:’

Oh no.

“Well, time to skip that one.”

There was no way I could just say ‘Ah, I found it in a book’ without getting strange looks. Not to mention the book itself told me not to talk about it for anything.

Next.

‘Mystical Specialization’.

“Saints damn it.”

I could just copy the specialization from some other profile, but then what if they decided to ask me about it? Well, that wouldn’t be a problem if I decided not to get in the chatbox at all… but I won’t advance in my investigation at all if I don’t talk to people, right?

I decide to just leave it open, for now.

Finally, I just gotta put a ‘Comment’ in the end of my profile… hmmm…

Comment: ‘Please don’t kill me.’

“A little on the nose?”

It’s all in good humor. I hope.

With that done, I don’t waste time on making a signature for myself (yet) and go straight to check on the Chatbox.

Four people: ‘GalaxyTaco’, ‘Ventotto’, ‘souseiseki’ and… uh… ‘Canned Tea’.

I take a deep breath… and log in.

Tav has connected to the Chatbox.
souseiseki: byeeee canny!! <3
GalaxyTaco: bye dude
Canned Tea has disconnected from the Chatbox.
souseiseki: … who tf are u o.o

Fuck. That was fast. Immediately singled out and everything, oh no. I panic, unable to really write any answers, when suddenly:

GalaxyTaco: sou that’s tav! the new peep? you saw the introductions post right??
souseiseki: oh right o.o i don’t care for those
GalaxyTaco: how’s it going dude? man, if youre wohlian it must be fucking late!
Tav: Hi, hi n.nUu
Tav: Yeah, it’s a bit late but I can’t sleep u.u
GalaxyTaco: hah, been there…
Canned Tea has connected to the Chatbox.

The guy came back again? What gives??

Canned Tea: sorry tav, didn’t see you come in.
Canned Tea: don’t want you to think Im avoiding ya.

The fear WAS in my brain, to be honest. I can’t help but smile a bit when the guy returns to clarify.

Tav: Oh it’s all good! n.n thank you though uwu
souseiseki: don’t cuddle this f**got Canny o.o

I wince. Oof. That’s… wow.

Canned Tea: sou.
Canned Tea: i’ve told you not to shittalk like that, girl.
souseiseki: sorry, slipped off my mind
Canned Tea: anyways, now im going to sleep.
Canned Tea: welcome in Tav. i’ll be seeing ya later.
Tav: For sure! n.n bye Canned Tea!
Canned Tea: just call me canny, girl.
Canned Tea: see ya.
Canned Tea has disconnected from the Chatbox.

I feel my face burning for a moment there. Am I blushing!? Fuck.

“Welp, you’re proving souseiseki right, at least.”

Shut the fuck up.

@ Ventotto: Hmm. I’ve told him not to assume gender like that.
GalaxyTaco: Holy shit 28 ur alive!!! O.o
GalaxyTaco: Now THAT is surprising.
@ Ventotto: I was about to leave but, like Canny, I wanted to say welcome again to Tav.
Ventotto: I hope you find your spot here soon. If you have anything you’d want translated and analyzed, go to the Translation subforum. Ok?
Tav: For sure! Thank you uwu
@ Ventotto: See you all later.
@ Ventotto has disconnected from the Chatbox.
souseiseki: i’m not staying here with you losers o.o
souseiseki: bye.
souseiseki has disconnected from the Chatbox

“Well bitch I didn’t want to talk with you either!” I practically snarl in real life, taking a deep breath and rubbing my temples. “Urgh. Not even an hour in and I’m already fed up with someone…”

GalaxyTaco: bah pay her no mind dude.
GalaxyTaco: she’s just Like That™
Tav: I’ll try…
Tav: Thank you for the welcome post, by the way uwu
Tav: I was worried no one would answer… u.u
GalaxyTaco: not gonna lie dure, that was a big possibility!
GalaxyTaco: people here ain’t the most social, honestly.
GalaxyTaco: speaking of, that reminds me!
GalaxyTaco: how DID you find the forum? if someone gave you the link but didn’t show you the ropes, that’s kind of an asshole move to pull!

Damn it all. That question again! This guy seemed nice so he probably didn’t mean anything by it but, it was a little frustrating to have to give explanations like that. Then again, this was supposed to be a secret of sorts, so I shouldn’t be that surprised I guess? But well, surprised or not, I need an answer to give. Come on, brain, make up something! An excuse! Anything!

“How the Hells do you want us to make up something if we know nothing of mages and such!? Are you stupid!?”

“We do know something. This ‘Elysium’ place seems to be important, maybe mentioning it would be enough to throw GalaxyTaco off your scent!”

“He’s not an idiot. Using jargon without really understanding it is a great way to look like an outsider.”

“Remind me again why we can’t just tell him the truth…?”

“The woman from the book, Humiko, told us not to talk about it if we can avoid it.”

“Well then, can we avoid it now…?”

…

GalaxyTaco: ah shit dude, sorry to cut this short but I gotta go get lunch
GalaxyTaco: talk to you later!
GalaxyTaco has disconnected from the Chatbox.

I deflate for a moment there, closing my eyes. Lucky break, I guess! Or at least, I think it is … until I get a notification from the forum: a direct message! Clicking the icon, I can see it’s from GalaxyTaco.

Sorry for the intense question but, it’s kind of important.
If you don’t fill your profile soon, 82’s totally gonna ban you.
You weren’t referred here by anyone you can mention, huh?
Let’s talk more privately.
[tacomadeofgalaxies@messages.com]()
Don’t disconnect from the TER when talking, that way no sleeper government can check on us.
I’ll be up after lunch.
Trust me, it’s important.—- GalaxyTaco

Oh shit. I was read like a book.

A part of me is relieved the guy is worried about me… but then, the suspicions arise. What if this guy is working with the mods? Or worse, with the cloaks! I haven’t even encountered these people and yet their presence around me fills me with dread and anxiety, mostly because I have no idea what to expect from them!

But another part of me is simply desperate for having someone to talk to about this, and he did say that while I keep the TER (which I assume is the Tripolar Edge Router) on, no orgs can check on me. So maybe…

“You’re gonna regret that.”

Maybe. But we will see about that when we get there.

2.3.5 Controversial views and perceptions of the clinical picture of MCAS
2.3.5.1 Alternative diagnostic criteria ("Consensus-2")
In 2011, the group of authors led by Gerald Molderings from the Institute for Human Genetics at the University Hospital Bonn and Lawrence Afrin published their own approach to the diagnosis of MCAS (51). In contrast to the diagnostic criteria of Valent et al. (1), the focus here is more on clinical symptoms. In 2016, Afrin et al. published a list of the most common symptoms that could indicate MCAS (52). Furthermore a questionnaire was developed and published on a website (53), after the answers to which the suspected diagnosis of MCAS could be supported or ruled out depending on the scores obtained. In a recently published publication, the working group referred to their diagnostic criteria as "Consensus-2" and compared and discussed them with the criteria of Valent et al. from 2016 (so-called "Consensus-1") (51). An important difference to the criteria Valent et al. 2016, the authors consider the symptoms not only as the main main criterion, but also a much wider range of previously unexplained symptoms (111 unexplained symptoms (111 possible symptoms (44)) as the most important indication of a a mast cell-mediated cause (14 symptoms in Valent et al. (1)). As The diagnosis of MCAS is considered confirmed if the main criterion is present together with a secondary criterion and possible alternative diagnoses have been excluded. The secondary criteria, in turn, are based on observations made at the time of the 500 people with suspected MCAS at the time of the first publication (44). Further differences between the two consensuses can be found in the laboratory parameters to be determined. For example, the researchers from different disciplines, which according to their own statements can draw on a wealth of experience of of over 10,000 MCAS patients (diagnosed according to their own criteria, nota bene), consider CgA to be specific for mast cells in addition to tryptase, among other things (44). The counterargument of the lower specificity compared to serum tryptase is granted a certain validity in the addendum to the "Consensus-2" published in 2020 (44), however the differential diagnoses with elevated CgA values should be easy to rule out and other markers are also never 100% specific. However, another group was already able to show in 2017 that CgA should not be used as a marker for mast cell disease(49). Furthermore the group of authors of the "Consensus-2" counts heparin as an important marker for MCAS, which should be determined after venous congestion using a blood pressure cuff (54). This maneuver was reported to cause irritation of excessively activatable mast cells with release of heparin in the congested area. Interestingly, the following section mentions markers such as IL-6 or tumor necrosis factor (TNF) which, due to their lack of specificity, are not used in diagnostics, but only in the evaluation of a successful therapy. The authors of "Consensus-2" criticize "Consensus-1" for, among other things the lack of definitions for a treatment response, whereby the "Consensus-2 does not provide any concrete proposals for evaluating or monitoring the response to therapy. Another point of criticism is the lack of exclusion of other comorbidities or differential diagnoses, such as CFS, EDS and irritable bowel syndrome, as clinical indications of MCAS. [...] In return, the AAAAI expressly points out that there is no evidence to date of a connection between CFS or EDS and MCAS. Overall, the clinical picture of MCAS is so complex and heterogeneous that a precise definition of a diagnostic algorithm is not possible at the present time. Molderings et al. therefore propose the acceptance of both the "Consensus1" according to Valent et al. and their "Consensus-2" until more precise findings are available through research. The resulting disadvantages, such as the the poorer comparability of patient populations in scientific studies would weigh less heavily than those resulting from the rejection of "Consensus-2" (an underdiagnosis due to criteria that are too restrictive according to the authors). On the other hand, the large number of non-specific complaints that are supposedly associated with MCAS harbors the risk of inflationary diagnosis.
2.3.5.2 Presentation in the lay press
An expansion of the MCAS definition with the use of non-validated clinical and laboratory chemical parameters for diagnosis is frequently found in the lay media, above all on websites, but also in the specialist literature. Increasingly, patients with (suspected) MCAS are organizing themselves with commitment and are increasingly organizing themselves into interest groups such as MCAS Hope e.V., which campaigns for the recognition of MCAS "as an independent disease". In addition They also network those affected and their relatives and carry out public relations work, which aims to make the clinical picture known to a broader public. This expansion of the diagnostic criteria described above increases the risk of a misdiagnosis of MCAS and overlooking the underlying disease, which may be easily treatable. On the other hand, such an erroneous diagnosis can also lead to the use of unnecessary or potentially harmful therapies for MCAS and supposed comorbidities (20). Shortly after publication of the review paper "Doctor, I Think I Am Suffering from MCAS: Differential Diagnosis and Separating Facts from Fiction" by Valent et al. a self claimed affected person started an online petition in which she demands the authors and the publishing Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology to remove the article (55). Among other things, they criticize the criterion of the tryptase increase, which is too harsh and would therefore prevent many patients from being diagnosed. The clinic also does not typically manifest as anaphylaxis, contrary to what is described in the paper, since mediator release in anaphylactic degranulation differs from that in piecemeal degranulation. Finally, the author of the petition, who sees herself as a "patient spokesperson", reports on personal experiences of frustration and feelings of frustration and rejection that were conveyed to her by doctors in the course of her medical history. The petition has so far reached just under 3,000 of the targeted 5,000 digital signatures (as of December 2020) and shows in particular how emotional the issue of the topic of MCAS is being observed and discussed not only in professional circles, but also among patients. Apparently, some patients find the diagnosis of MCAS to be the last explanation for their multiple non-specific symptoms and hope for more acceptance in scientific circles.
2.3.5.3 Difficulties in making a diagnosis
In recent years, despite the existence of consensus criteria, a (suspected) diagnosis is often made in practice, even though these criteria are insufficiently fulfilled. In some cases, the MCAS diagnosis is also increasingly used for otherwise inexplicable conditions that cannot otherwise be explained. The evaluation of symptoms without a known direct connection with the release of mast cell mediators, for example from the neurological or psychiatric spectrum, as a manifestation of the disease leads to a further dilution of the MCAS diagnosis (43). In the "Bonn" questionnaire, the vast majority of the items asked are not based on the consensus criteria formulated by Valent et al. for example they see the sonographic evidence of an enlarged liver as an indication of the disease (53). The measurement of a tryptase elevation in acute relapse, as required by the diagnostic criteria is difficult to implement in practice, whether for reasons of time, capacity or billing. Targeted therapy trials with maximum specificity with regard to all possible decisive mediators are not possible without prior measurement of urinary metabolites and, in the absence of criteria or measuring instruments often do not produce satisfactory results (43). Last but not least, the wide range of possible differential diagnoses, such as for example from the endocrinological, neurological, psychiatric or cardiovascular area, further complicates the diagnosis (43).
Translated with deep.l
https://refubium.fu-berlin.de/bitstream/handle/fub188/32749/diss_s.gu.pdf;jsessionid=A575C43E11977D2F576404BF69D6469C?sequence=3

I'm using a throwaway account as I don't really people currently in my life to know this.
I (30MtF) left my wife (27F, let's call her D) two years ago. The divorce was finalized about two months ago, and I wish I could go back.
I met D eight years ago, while I was homeless. She and her family helped me get a job and my first apartment, she always showed me an incredible amount of love and support, and she was absolutely wonderful in so many ways. But D was also an evangelical Christian and incredibly transphobic and homophobic. I found this out shortly after we met. At the time, I knew I was trans, bisexual, and I was a pagan. I probably should have walked away then.
Unfortunately, due to an incredible amount of trauma in my childhood and adolescence, I have a tendency to develop new versions of myself for those I'm around. The "me" that took over my life during this time decided "he" was a cisgender, bisexual man who refused to "act on" his "sinful" desires after becoming a Christian. Still, early on that "me" didn't have as strong of a hold.
Once, when we'd been dating for a few months, we were hanging out with a friend who showed us Rocky Horror Picture Show for the first time. Neither of us really had any idea what it was about. We watched it, and we were both incredibly uncomfortable for entirely different reasons. She brought me to work (I worked overnights at this time) and then while I was at work we fought over text and nearly broke up because of this damn movie. I didn't like it because it seemed fairly transphobic to me, especially when Dr. Frank-N-Furter raped the guests. (I now recognize this movie has a big place in queer culture but I still can't help but see it as kind of offensive.) D thought it was disgusting that the movie even included a trans character.
Eventually the "me" that had formed to be who she wanted me to be took over full-time and committed to stay with her and fight the "urge to sin." We dated for a few years and then got married. And honestly, this feels like one of the best times in my life sometimes, even though I know I was miserable.
I've always looked fairly feminine, and had fairly long hair and a pretty alternative style that often included makeup. I'd get "mistaken" for a girl pretty frequently when we were out, which only increased when she got me a super cute coffin-shaped purse for an anniversary. She'd always get super upset and defensive on my behalf, which hurt but she couldn't know it.
Sometimes during our marriage, she was reading an article about some state or another not accepting the "trans panic defense" and started ranting about it. I knew what she was talking about but on the off chance I was wrong I asked her to elaborate. She said it was when a trans person comes into the bathroom or hits on you and you assault or kill them because you panic. I tried to calmly explain that I thought it was good that wasn't being accepted because you shouldn't be assaulting or killing people regardless of whether they're trans or not, and it sounded like just a way to hurt trans people and get away with it. She came up with this wild argument and I just let her "win" because I didn't want to lose her. But I never felt fully safe with her again.
She liked it when I wore makeup, and once her sister told me she liked how I was a "man who was secure in his femininity but didn't feel like I needed to be a woman." (This was literally a month before I left to transition.) D agreed with her sister.
Around four years ago made a new friend at work, a nonbinary person I'll call S, who invited me to play DnD with them and their husband (a trans man) when they quit that job. By the time we'd bee playing for about six months, being around other trans people had reawakened the other parts of me, the parts that were closer to who I really am. I re-realized I was trans through our time together, and they started encouraging me to leave her and be my authentic self.
I left D about four months before our five-year wedding anniversary. She had gone through my phone, found messages between me and S about plans for me leaving and my being trans, and confronted me while I was in the shower. I quickly finished my shower and got out, had a six hour long conversation with her about this and tried to get her to understand. Eventually she just said "But you're not a woman and you never will be!" Without a word, I gathered up some essentials and left for S's house. S and I went back to that house while she was at church on Sunday and grabbed everything I owned, and then went to her mom's house to do the same. D and her whole family were there so I was trying to avoid questions and begging and pleading and crying from not only D, but her mom, sister, and brother to stay and give this trans thing up. I told D that if she wanted me to stay, I'd be staying as her wife and she'd have to accept that. She couldn't. I left.
Over the next couple months we spent a lot of time talking. D was trying to convince me to come back, to fall in love with her again. But I hadn't stopped loving her, I'd just gotten sick of hating myself. I told her that. I told her I wanted nothing more than to come back, but I couldn't do it if it meant going back to wanting to die every time I saw myself in the mirror and hating her briefly every time she "corrected" someone on my gender. I told her if she wanted me back, she'd need to support me in my transition. She still couldn't do it.
The last straw was when Michael Knowles called for the eradication of "transgenderism" (trans people). With that and the hundreds of anti-trans bills being introduced, I was scared. I texted D for comfort and instead got into a whole big argument with her. She kept trying to say the anti-trans bills were a good thing, and when I brought up the Michael Knowles thing she said she'd watched that speech and agreed with him. She said eradicating "transgenderism" would be a good thing. I sent her back a long text about the definition of genocide and how you can't separate "transgenderism" from transgender people, and eradicating "transgenderism" would require eradicating transgender people. We never talked again except about our divorce.
The thing that gets me though is that she's always been very anti-racist and speaks out against prejudice of most other kinds. She just never got it through her head that the same reasons she felt so strongly about that are why she should accept LGBTQIA+ people.
Now, it's been about two years since I left her. I have been on hormones for over a year, and I've never been happier with myself. These two years have been absolute hell in other ways. I have no stability, I lost my job, I've lost friends and family and all kinds of other traumatizing events that would make this post a literal novel. I've been suicidal in the past over stuff a lot smaller than this, but now, in the face of almost overwhelming and crushing despair, I'm still nowhere near that point again. I love myself. I am, for the first time in my life, living for myself.
I now have three wonderful partners (polyamory, they are all fully aware and consent, one of them has four other partners of their own) who love and accept me for who I am, and I love them all so much.
And yet. Despite all of that. Despite the pain D caused me, I still love her. I think I always will. And lately, it seems like all I can think of is the good times. And there were so many good times... I wish I could go back. I want her to love me again. And if she texted me tonight and told me she accepted me, I don't know if I could stay away. And this love I still feel... It's the most painful thing of all.

(Repost from HousingUK)
TLDR: I own a share if freehold flat and the other freeholder lives abroad, is incapacitated and has no next of kin, just a legal representative appointed by a government organisation in the country she lives in. I need to sell my flat and extend the lease but two years in I have got nowhere in getting the deeds signed. What can I do?
Hi Housing UK readers,
I wanted to see if you had any fresh ideas on how to approach this situation I find myself in.
I purchased a flat in 2011. The flat is one of two in a Victorian conversion. Both flats are self-contained.
I am the sole registered leasehold proprietor of flat B and have been living in the flat since 2011.
Miss X is the sole registered leasehold proprietor of flat A, and has owned the flat since 2001. The flat is being rented as Miss X retired abroad in 2006.
Miss X and I also both own a share of the freehold, which is split 50/50.
I’m in contact with Miss X for a few years after I buy, but all admin relating to building management is dealt with by her estate agents and she defers any discussions to them.
Fast forward to September 2022. I need to sell my flat as I want to move to a different city, and have some debt I need to pay off. The flat is listed for sale in late October 2022.
There are 84 years left on the lease for both myself and Miss X. I reach out to Miss X to inform her of my plans and that I will need her signature for the various deeds, and that we should extend the lease. The email bounces back and her phone line is disconnected.
I contact the estate agents who manage flat A. They have also not heard from Miss X for a while, I can tell they know more, but they are unwilling to share any details. In a tactical move, I list my flat for sale with them too, to try and get their help with Miss X (a whole other hilarious side story). I am repeatedly assured by them that the situation with Miss X will not hinder the sale of the flat (a huge lie).
March 2023 I finally find some buyers (with another agent) and start the conveyancing process, including extending the lease and transferring the freehold.
May 2023. After chasing Miss X’s estate agents for weeks, I discover that Miss X is now incapacitated and hospitalised with dementia. Miss X has no partner or children, no next of kin and no legal representation in the UK. She is under the care of a government agency in the European country she resides in. A lawyer employed by the agency, let’s call him SP, has been appointed as her legal representative and is in contact with the UK estate agents. SP sends documents to verify his status to the agents, who confirm legitimacy via their lawyers. SP is very hard to reach, rarely answers emails or his phone.
I find a solicitor specialised in property law to help me navigate this situation. As Miss X is not deemed “absent”, the solicitor suggests that it’s best to try and resolve this with the appointed legal representative (SP), as any other legal routes available for absentee freeholders through UK courts wouldn’t apply (as we know where Miss X is). I explain the situation to SP, he talks to a judge and informs me he lacks capacity to make decisions about the leasehold and freehold matters without court / judicial approval in his country.
SP also asks for help with gaining access to Miss X’s UK bank account. All rental income from her flat in the UK is being transferred to a UK bank account via the estate agents. I share information on obtaining power of attorney in the UK and suggest it would be best to appoint a lawyer in the UK to help with all matters.
November 2023. After several months of backwards and forwards with SP to try and find out exactly what legal documents the judge wants to see in court, under his guidance my solicitor produces papers, documents and evidence, we get them translated, postilled and posted. SP is confident the judge will be happy and grant permission for signatures.
The documents make it clear that the authority being sought for SP to sign the leasehold extension and transfer of freehold are in no way prejudicial to Miss X and in fact extending the lease would add value to her property should she decide to sell in future.
A court date is set 3 months later. Sigh. More waiting.
I lose my buyers (understandably).
February 2024. The court date arrives. The judge rejects the request for permission for SP to sign papers on behalf of Miss X. It’s not fully clear why this is rejected. After speaking to SP it seems that the judge now wants SP to obtain access to Miss X’s bank account before moving forward. I am surprised that no progress has been made with that.
I go back to my solicitor. Now that we can show that steps have been taken to locate Miss X and get the deeds signed by her legal deputy without recourse, they suggest that we can apply to court in the UK to have another trustee appointed to sign the transfer and deed, and suggests appointing counsel to make the application to UK courts, which should be “run of the mill”. We choose a barrister, the situation is explained, documents shared, and I’m given a 3 week timeframe for papers to be produced for court.
In the meantime we connect SP to a solicitor in the UK who can help with obtaining PoA, as no progress has been made with that yet.
A few days later the barrister gets in touch, more bad news.
Under TLATA, there would be a breach of trust if all required consent from the current trustees was not obtained, so it is not sufficient to just add another trustee, Miss X would need to be replaced as outlined in the Trustee Act 36(1). However under the Trustee Act 36(9), where a trustee lacks the ability to perform their function, no new trustee can be appointed without consent from the Court of Protection. I am informed that making this application to the CoP is lengthy, costly and risky. The barrister says it would be faster and safer to wait for SP to obtain the relevant permissions.
We reach out to SP again to see what progress has been made. None. Some documents need to be translated and he is unwilling to pay for the translations (it seems their organisation has no money). We offer to pay now and be reimbursed once access to Miss X’s money is granted.
We are now almost half way through 2024 and coming up to 2 years into this situation.
Is it really possible that legally these are my only two options?

• going to the UK courts at great expense in a process that has been called “risky and lengthy” by the barrister.
• Waiting for SP to sort out PoA with no guarantee that the judge will even grant permission for the deeds to be signed (again risky and lengthy)

I know I can try and sell my flat without the share if freehold and with a short lease, but this will affect its value and the short lease especially will be a problem with mortgage applications.
Any different ideas on how to approach this? Seems so absurd that currently I can’t sell something that is mine, due to a situation I didn’t create!
There are many more twists and turns to this story but I have left them out as this is long enough. Also I do not have a legal background or am a housing expert so apologies if some of the language I use is incorrect.
Thanks for reading!

Context: I had gone on a few dates with Felix (fake name) prior to this one, and they were all really great. And till this point, there nothing negative about him at all. Even though we are in the same uni, we are in different departments and different dorms, so until our date I have never seen/interacted with him. My friend/roommate (Evelyn/fake name) is the one who set me up with him (this will be important later).
On our 4th date, we had gone to watch a play at our local theatre, and we had a great time. We were going to get an uber back to our dorms when I suggested let's get some dessert, so we can end the day on something sweet. So we went to an ice cream shop and were standing in line to order.
In front of us was a couple with their baby, and the dad was holding the baby over his shoulder, so the baby was looking at us. The baby was giggling and waving so I waved back and the couple turned around. We had small talk, and during this Felix was quiet. He didn't talk to them and he looked uncomfortable. I wrapped the convo quickly as I noticed this. I though maybe he doesn't like kids or something. The couple left, we paid for dessert and left. As we were walking to our spot for the uber, I mentioned " the baby was very cute," He muttered a small yes, I didn't care too much for his reaction and was scrolling on my phone while we were waiting for the uber. Our converstion then transpired like this.
Felix: The kid's dad is black while the mum is asian
Me: Huh? I mean yes?
Felix: That's a shame
Me: What do you mean that's a shame?
Felix: Why did she have a kid with a black dude? There are other Asian guys out there yet she goes for black men
Me: I had no words, I was speechless
Felix: Look, you don't get it, I have trauma from this. My ex gf was also stolen by a black guy
Me: What are you going on about? What does your ex gf being "stolen" have anything to do with that lady and her family.
Felix: You don't understand, asian men have to deal with this all the time. All the asian girls like either white guys and black guys.
Me: I was dumfounded hearing this, he was sounding like a red pill podcast You may have had bad experiences in your dating life but that doesn't mean you can be hateful and rude towards random people or generalise an entire group of people because one person was wrong towards you. You are being racist and I don't think I have it in me to deal with this. I think it may be for the best if we don't keep in contact.
I ordered a separate uber and left. I blocked him and left it at that. When I came back to the dorms, I was visibly upset and my friend asked what happened, so I told him. Somebody must have overheard and now our entire dorm knows he's a racist. Evelyn now is angry at me for blocking him and spreading this situation.
I told her what happened and she said well he has trauma so maybe that may have been a response to it. I said you are stupid if you think I'm going to waste my time dealing with a racist, when there are other people I can date. She said he's a good person and that I should give him a second chance. She's trying to rally our other friends to convince me and thankfully they are not putting up with her bs.
But then Felix's friends reached out to me and said he's had a difficult life and that's he doesn't mean what he said, and now people are harassing him for being a racist. I'm now so annoyed at this entire situation.
So AITAH for blocking him?

Description (for Listener): You’re the dutiful guardian of the door for your complex. In a world overrun by doppelgangers whose most recent gimmick is sneaking into the guarded apartments. You must keep the sanctity of the system if only to protect your beloved neighbors. To do your job the best you often have to entertain your more chatty neighbors.
Alternate Description (for Speaker): You’ve returned from a long day of work, wanting nothing more than to convince your favorite neighbor—the door person—your muse! Too bad their simply stuck on this one neighbor; you’ll have to think about how to get rid of him as soon as possible.

A/N: It’s been a while but I’m happy to get writing again!
This is up for monetization just credit me, please! If you put this behind a paywall just privately message me!
I'm alright with improvising for this script!
All [Sounds] are suggestions!
Also if anyone is interested, here’s my Masterlist!
Anyway Enjoy,
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
<>>><><><><><><><<><<><><><><><><><<><><><><><><<><><><>

(Neighbor Speaker)
Ah, it’s you again! Isn’t it just crazy that every time it’s your shift we end up bumping into each other? Crazy, right?
(Neighbor Speaker)
Oh! Right! Here are my papers, and my ID, and if you’d like I wouldn’t mind throwing in the latest issue of ‘Know Your Neighbor!’
(Neighbor Speaker)
Turns out my hunch was right! They were planning to bump me up and now I’ve got my column on the second page on the right.
(Neighbor Speaker)
See?
(Neighbor Speaker)
In a world like the one we live in, us neighbors need to keep close tabs on each other. Don’t you agree?
(Neighbor Speaker)
Wow, I didn’t think you’d be so opinionated about it but I would be lying if I hadn’t heard that criticism before. While many may say writing about this always-kept-anonymous–character of the perfect neighbor might give away too much to any doppelgangers smart enough to read. I see it as a way to alert others about seeing the good and noticing the best parts of your neighbors.
(Neighbor Speaker)
So any guesses as to who you think I might be talking about?
(Neighbor Speaker)
It’s…not the milkman.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Not Elenois. Knowing her she’d sooner skin me than bother with her reputation.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Any other guesses?
(Neighbor Speaker)
I am positive I am not talking about the milkman. You really like bringing him up, don’t you?
(Neighbor Speaker)
I mean I’m sure some people will consider the bags under his eyes, his monotone voice, and his grumpy personality kind of cute.
(Neighbor Speaker)
What? I’m just saying we’ve had quite a few doppelgangers almost make it in here because they imitate him. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the one in here now was one.
Selling his new creation scarlet milk and expecting no one to be suspicious. That guy’s a weirdo and I just don’t know what you see in him.
(Neighbor Speaker)
I’m clearly so much better.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Oh? Everything checks out? Great as expected of my favorite door person! Always doing your best to protect us from those sneaky doppelgangers.
[Metal Door Opening]
[Stepping Through Door]
[Metal Door Closing]
(Neighbor Speaker)
Uh hey, how soon is your shift over?
(Neighbor Speaker)
I was wondering if you’d like to maybe come to my apartment. I have some snacks and I’ve got a radio! You and I can cuddle up on the couch have a drink or two and listen to the radio show.
(Neighbor Speaker)
But if you don’t want to do that I definitely have some other cool things we can do! Have ourselves a friendly–maybe romantic sleepover.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Your shift ends when the last person in the building comes? That’s backward, people spend the whole day doing spontaneous things. Heck, even I know reporting for leave I won’t just be going to work I’ll have a friendly meal at the cafe while I write plans for my column.
(Neighbor Speaker)
If you can believe it, my muse often doesn’t leave the building/ While it’s nice to write near them all I can do is watch and spend time with you er–them when I’m at home. A lovely inconvenience, eh? The neighbor I want to protect distracts me from pretty much everything.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Anyway, who are we waiting on for you to finish?
(Neighbor Speaker)
Ah, speak of the devil.
(Neighbor Speaker)
So you really can’t end your day without this guy coming through.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Hypothetically if you were to end your shift early what would happen to him?
(Neighbor Speaker)
Locked out of the complex for the night? At the defense of doppelgangers until morning? That sorry sleepy sack of bones?
(Neighbor Speaker)
Sounds perfect!
(Neighbor Speaker)
I mean for those nasty doppelgangers! That’s probably what they’d think if you hypothetically ended your shift early.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Uhm if you’d like I can keep you company! I still have a drink or two saved from the office! The bottle’s barely finished and I most certainly could use your help finishing it!
It’s okay you’re practically done besides between the two of us we can spot any doppelgangers, right?
(Neighbor Speaker)
So? Are you game?
(Neighbor Speaker)
So hesitant…I thought your job was to protect your neighbors. Well, currently your poor neighbor is suffering without a drink. So my favorite door guardian, my muse–will you help me?
(Neighbor Speaker)
Yes! I have the glasses!
[Drinks Clinking]
[Sounds of Drink Pouring]
(Neighbor Speaker)
Bottoms up!
(Neighbor Speaker)
Oooh, that was a good chug! Think you could stomach another?
(Neighbor Speaker)
Wow, you’re such a trooper but I bet you can’t beat my record. I’ve had over five full glasses in one go.
[Bottle Being Snatched]
[Bottle Quickly Being Chugged]
(Neighbor Speaker)
Whoa that’s a lot are you going to be able to stand?
[Body falling from Chair]
(Neighbor Speaker)
I’m not complaining! You are my muse after all! My favorite neighbor is especially cute when drinking far too much!
(Neighbor Speaker)
Alright, up you go!
(Neighbor Speaker)
Hey, how about we head to your apartment instead? It’s so hard trying to get a copy of your key it’d just be easier if you let me inside. A good neighbor should always have the means to check on you–especially when you spend all day protecting all of us.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Do you think you can start heading that way, now? That’s my muse!
[Slow Labored Footsteps Fading]
(Neighbor Speaker)
In the meantime, I’ll just start wrapping up your workstation.
[Papers Shuffling]
[Hurried Footsteps]
(Neighbor Speaker)
Oh, the… milkman. Good to see you.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Yeah, I’m just filling in for them, they went to the bathroom.
(Neighbor Speaker)
I’ll just check everything and let you in.
(Neighbor Speaker)
The entry request, and the ID everything checks out….
(Neighbor Speaker)
Except…oh no…your appearance.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Yes, your perfectly chiseled face and tired eyes that my muse just can’t seem to get enough of.
(Neighbor Speaker)
That's a problem. Plus you don’t have all the proper documents.
[Shredder Starts]
(Neighbor Speaker)
Oops turns out you’re claiming to be a neighbor of mine who’s still out and about. That’s a shame.
[Banging against Glass]
(Neighbor Speaker)
And so violent, it’s best I call the D.D.D.
[Button Pressed]
[Alarm goes Off]
[Phone Clicking]
[Phone Ringing]
(Neighbor Speaker)
Yes, we have a doppelganger, here that needs removing. Thank you!
(Neighbor Speaker)
Now my favorite Neighbor can end their day and spend all their time with me.
(Neighbor Speaker)
No more of that milk…man getting in my way.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Oh my muse, I’m coming be careful going up those stairs! I’m coming sweetie!

TLDR: I own a share if freehold flat and the other freeholder lives abroad, is incapacitated and has no next of kin, just a legal representative appointed by a government organisation in the country she lives in. I need to sell my flat and extend the lease but two years in I have got nowhere in getting the deeds signed. What can I do?
Hi Housing UK readers,
I wanted to see if you had any fresh ideas on how to approach this situation I find myself in.
I purchased a flat in 2011. The flat is one of two in a Victorian conversion. Both flats are self-contained.
I am the sole registered leasehold proprietor of flat B and have been living in the flat since 2011.
Miss X is the sole registered leasehold proprietor of flat A, and has owned the flat since 2001. The flat is being rented as Miss X retired abroad in 2006.
Miss X and I also both own a share of the freehold, which is split 50/50.
I’m in contact with Miss X for a few years after I buy, but all admin relating to building management is dealt with by her estate agents and she defers any discussions to them.
Fast forward to September 2022. I need to sell my flat as I want to move to a different city, and have some debt I need to pay off. The flat is listed for sale in late October 2022.
There are 84 years left on the lease for both myself and Miss X. I reach out to Miss X to inform her of my plans and that I will need her signature for the various deeds, and that we should extend the lease. The email bounces back and her phone line is disconnected.
I contact the estate agents who manage flat A. They have also not heard from Miss X for a while, I can tell they know more, but they are unwilling to share any details. In a tactical move, I list my flat for sale with them too, to try and get their help with Miss X (a whole other hilarious side story). I am repeatedly assured by them that the situation with Miss X will not hinder the sale of the flat (a huge lie).
March 2023 I finally find some buyers (with another agent) and start the conveyancing process, including extending the lease and transferring the freehold.
May 2023. After chasing Miss X’s estate agents for weeks, I discover that Miss X is now incapacitated and hospitalised with dementia. Miss X has no partner or children, no next of kin and no legal representation in the UK. She is under the care of a government agency in the European country she resides in. A lawyer employed by the agency, let’s call him SP, has been appointed as her legal representative and is in contact with the UK estate agents. SP sends documents to verify his status to the agents, who confirm legitimacy via their lawyers. SP is very hard to reach, rarely answers emails or his phone.
I find a solicitor specialised in property law to help me navigate this situation. As Miss X is not deemed “absent”, the solicitor suggests that it’s best to try and resolve this with the appointed legal representative (SP), as any other legal routes available for absentee freeholders through UK courts wouldn’t apply (as we know where Miss X is). I explain the situation to SP, he talks to a judge and informs me he lacks capacity to make decisions about the leasehold and freehold matters without court / judicial approval in his country.
SP also asks for help with gaining access to Miss X’s UK bank account. All rental income from her flat in the UK is being transferred to a UK bank account via the estate agents. I share information on obtaining power of attorney in the UK and suggest it would be best to appoint a lawyer in the UK to help with all matters.
November 2023. After several months of backwards and forwards with SP to try and find out exactly what legal documents the judge wants to see in court, under his guidance my solicitor produces papers, documents and evidence, we get them translated, postilled and posted. SP is confident the judge will be happy and grant permission for signatures.
The documents make it clear that the authority being sought for SP to sign the leasehold extension and transfer of freehold are in no way prejudicial to Miss X and in fact extending the lease would add value to her property should she decide to sell in future.
A court date is set 3 months later. Sigh. More waiting.
I lose my buyers (understandably).
February 2024. The court date arrives. The judge rejects the request for permission for SP to sign papers on behalf of Miss X. It’s not fully clear why this is rejected. After speaking to SP it seems that the judge now wants SP to obtain access to Miss X’s bank account before moving forward. I am surprised that no progress has been made with that.
I go back to my solicitor. Now that we can show that steps have been taken to locate Miss X and get the deeds signed by her legal deputy without recourse, they suggest that we can apply to court in the UK to have another trustee appointed to sign the transfer and deed, and suggests appointing counsel to make the application to UK courts, which should be “run of the mill”. We choose a barrister, the situation is explained, documents shared, and I’m given a 3 week timeframe for papers to be produced for court.
In the meantime we connect SP to a solicitor in the UK who can help with obtaining PoA, as no progress has been made with that yet.
A few days later the barrister gets in touch, more bad news.
Under TLATA, there would be a breach of trust if all required consent from the current trustees was not obtained, so it is not sufficient to just add another trustee, Miss X would need to be replaced as outlined in the Trustee Act 36(1). However under the Trustee Act 36(9), where a trustee lacks the ability to perform their function, no new trustee can be appointed without consent from the Court of Protection. I am informed that making this application to the CoP is lengthy, costly and risky. The barrister says it would be faster and safer to wait for SP to obtain the relevant permissions.
We reach out to SP again to see what progress has been made. None. Some documents need to be translated and he is unwilling to pay for the translations (it seems their organisation has no money). We offer to pay now and be reimbursed once access to Miss X’s money is granted.
We are now almost half way through 2024 and coming up to 2 years into this situation.
Is it really possible that legally these are my only two options?

• going to the UK courts at great expense in a process that has been called “risky and lengthy” by the barrister.
• Waiting for SP to sort out PoA with no guarantee that the judge will even grant permission for the deeds to be signed (again risky and lengthy)

I know I can try and sell my flat without the share if freehold and with a short lease, but this will affect its value and the short lease especially will be a problem with mortgage applications.
Any different ideas on how to approach this? Seems so absurd to me that currently I can’t sell something that is mine, due to a situation I didn’t create!
There are many more twists and turns to this story but I have left them out as this is long enough. Also I do not have a legal background or am a housing expert so apologies if some of the language I use is incorrect.
Reddit, help!

Slutty Sister Has Her Brother Locked For Life (non-con, forced chastity, bondage, punishment)
Part 1
The keyholder nurse gave me instructions and explained everything after it was all over. My family had told me that I was a sex pervert and I was "being dealt with". I knew I was in trouble, but I was a young man, only 18 and I didn't understand what was going on. No one had told me anything after the hearing.
Mom drove me to an odd building, led me to a secure room and left. A young nurse told me to undress. I was totally naked. An older woman in scrubs and a man entered. They strapped my arms and legs down to a cold steel table. The nurse offered the woman a syringe, but she declined and said "No, I want this creep to feel it".
It all started a month ago. I lived with my mom and sister, dad was gone. My sister was 19, with a tight body and medium sized, perky tits. Mom was thick, curvy, with giant tits. Both recently got their naval's pierced with matching studs. Neither had boyfriends, but they were very promiscuous. We lived in a mobile home with thin walls, so I could hear them getting fucked often.
I made some mistakes. First, my sister caught me peeping on her in the shower and told mom. Then, two of her "friends" came over for sex. They took turns on her. She got very loud. After they left, I went in her room. She covered herself, but I saw her pussy and stomach first. There were small puddles of cum around her pantyline, and some more of it leaking out of her. I told her I was still a virgin and asked if I could "go next" on her. She yelled "get out" and told mom when she got home from work.
The third incident was more serious they said. Mom would sometimes drink and pass out. I'd never felt tits before and hers were so enticing. She had some drinks and went to bed. I snuck in. She was asleep, uncovered, wearing a gown. I grabbed her heaving boobs. Then I took one of my hands off her chest and pulled the gown above her waist, exposing her. I slid my hand between her legs and rubbed her pussy. She woke up and caught me. She was pissed. The next day my sister told me they had turned me in and there would be a hearing.
So I knew why I was on the metal table, but I didn't know what was next. I couldn't see, there was a drape at my waist. It started with gloves and cold metal on my genitals, then clamping, pinching, pulling, and eventually a sharp puncturing pain near my balls. I begged them to stop, but they did it 2 more times, once on my cock. Finally a metal device was brought out. I could feel it being slid on, clamped down, tightened, then locked. "All done" they said and left. The young nurse stayed behind.
She removed the drape and released the straps. I inspected the "device". My cock and balls had been fed through a steel ring that tightly encircled them at the base. It was secured to a piercing just above my taint and another at the top. My penis was locked in a tight steel "cage" with a hole at the end for pissing. The head had been pierced and a metal bar went through me as extra security. It wasn't going anywhere. The whole thing was super tight.
"What is this?" I asked.
She explained. "It's your chastity device. Your genitals have been locked up. At the hearing, your mother and sister requested that you be put in chastity. The safety council asked them how long they thought would be appropriate and both wanted you locked forever. Since the incidents involved incest, the council agreed. Your penis is locked for life. I'm your keyholder nurse. I will help with adjustments, cleanings, draining your balls, and anything else needed for chastity".
"When do I get to take off?" I said.
She answered, "You're locked forever. So you wont get to take it off. They have to keep you locked so your sister is safe and to punish you for what you did to your mom. You wont be able to have sex or force anyone. Since you can't masturbate, your balls might swell, so you will see me every other month to drain them, do a deep cleaning, and tighten your cage, if necessary.
--------------------------------XXX--------------------------------

Part 2

The room was cold. My keyholder nurse was a cute twenty-something. A name tag with "Beverly" was pinned above her perky boobs. Her scrub top was tight around her chest. I could see the shape of her breasts and her hard nipples pressing againt the fabric. I stared and my cage got tighter. She noticed and grinned slightly.
I got back to business, "Can I appeal or get parole or something? What happens next?"
She answered, "Sorry, no appeals for chastity. There is parole, but not for incest cases. What you did is considered extremely disgusting, so they deemed you a "most extreme pervert". Incest offenders get more severe penalties and no parole. I'm not supposed to be judgemental, but you're my first incest case and it sounded really awful at your hearing. It's hard to believe creeps as bad as you even exist, who rubs their own mom's pussy? This case is really bad, so I'm gonna go harder on you than my other guys. I hope it was worth it. So here's what's next...your mother and sister are entitled to a final inspection of your genitals, then you'll go directly to prison to be processed and locked up in the chastity unit."
I was confused and responded with frustration, "I can't believe this is happening to me. I just got too horny seeing the girls dressed like sluts and listening to them getting fucked all the time. After seeing my sisters cum-filled pussy, I lost control and slipped up. If she just gave me sloppy seconds, I wouldn't have done all that to mom....What do you mean prison?!?!"
She responded, bursting with excitement, "Dont worry, you'll learn your lesson! OH! I see they didn't tell you about prison yet, since you were a rush case. Chastity is just an add-on to your prison sentence as an extra penalty and to keep everyone safe. Let me look at your file to see how much time you'll serve."
Looking at her tablet, she smiled big and replied, "I've never gotten to do this before! Most guys hear about their sentence before they get to me...Ok, so they actually got you taken care of pretty good here. It got split up into multiple counts, so fortunately, they were able to put you away for a long time."
She continued, "Your sister had you convicted on two charges, one for the shower incident and one for the bedroom incident. You got two more for mom, one for groping her tits and another for going between her legs. I'll read them off...
Count 1, Incestual peeping, sentence: 1 year special confinement
Count 2, Incestual peeping with propositioning, sentence: 1.5 years special confinement
Count 3, 2nd Degree Incestual Sexual Battery, 2 years special confinement
Ok and here's the big one! For touching mom's pussy...
Count 4, 1st Dregee Incestual Sexual Battery, 4.5 years RIGOROUS confinement in the SCU-I, (Special Chastity Unit, Incest wing), with intensive perversion correction."
So you'll do nine years total, with the first four-and-a-half in the incest wing."
I was completely shocked, "Nine years!? Are you serious? What's special confinement? Am I going to regular prison or what?
Beverely explained, "Special confinement means you'll be put in the chastity unit. It's a separate level for inmates that have their genitals locked, like rapists and other perverts. It's a little different. The cells are super small, you don't get any privileges like TV, and you stay locked in your cell for 23 hours a day. But don't worry. Most of my guys are in the chastity unit. They all want out really bad, but they're fine. Some eventually leave for regular population if their sentence allows, but you'll actually just be finishing up in the main chasity unit after you're done with rigororous confinement for the first four-and-a-half. You'll start off in the incest wing".
"What is all that? I asked
Beverly explained further, "It's a big deal. That's why I got so excited when I read your sentence on count 4. It wasn't just the amount of time you got, but what'll be happening to you that makes it a heavy one. I've heard it's very extreme. Since you're my first incest case, I'm not as familiar with it, but I've heard you're basically caged up 24/7 and pretty much treated like an animal. I'm not sure if you even get a toilet or a bed. You only leave your cage once every two weeks for perversion correction, which I might get to assist with, and you'll get another device I've heard about, called the "silver bullet". I think it's an anal device? You'll learn more about that when you get there. Oh! Looks like it's time to get you ready for inspection."
The door opened as she left and two female guards entered. One had a tazer. They led me to another table. This one had wheels. I sat on the edge. One grabbed my ankles and another tried to push me on my back. I resisted, trying to spin off the table. I was immediately tazed, then sedated, imobilizing me. "This will be easier for if you just comply" she said. I was on my back again. My ankles were lifted toward my head, folding my legs over me. Thick zip ties were placed around my ankles and calfs. My hands and forearms were looped through both, then "zzzzzzzztttt", it was all cinched down tight, securing my arms to my legs. A bar was secured between my knees, keeping me exposed. Beverly came back in. One of the guards said "He's all yours hon" as they left.
"Let's get you cleaned up" Beverly said. "Your mom and sister are on their way and they're excited to see your private parts all locked up for good.
She put gloves on, then approached the table, placing one hand over my nose. I opened my mouth and she shoved a gag in and secured it around my head. "This is just a temporary gag. Your sister didn't want you talking during inspection. I believe you'll get more securely gagged and muzzled when you get to processing. I've heard the guys don't get solid food in the incest wing, you get fed a liquid diet, like that soylent stuff, that you'll take through a drinking tube in your gag. It's really amazing how good they have you incest perverts locked up over there. I can't wait to see you like that.
She started the cleaning by soaping and lathering around my crotch, exposed parts were shaved. She walked away, coming back with a tube and a bag full of fluid that she hung from a pole. The label read "Enema". Beverly explained, "Gotta clean you inside and out. First I'll get you lubed up". She grabbed a metal syring, inserted the tip in my ass, and injected me with lube. At the end of enema tube, there was a detachable nozzle with two inflatable bulbs. One was forced in my ass and both were inflated, locking it in place. I could see the tube going from the bag to inside me. I felt like I was being treated like an animal already. She turned a valve, the fluid began flowing and filled me up. She set a timer for 35 minutes, and sat on her stool, reading cosmo. After an agonizing wait, she removed the nozzle plug, allowing me to release. Finally, thank goodness. I was soaped up again and rinsed. She cleaned up the enema nozzle plug, added more lube, and shoved it back1 inside me. "Putting this back in so we dont have any potential leaks" she said, as she inflated it. She disconnected the outside end of the inflatable nozzle where it attached to the longer enema tube, clamped it off, and let go of it. I felt it bounce around as it settled. "You're all set" she exclaimed.
I was wheeled on the cart-like table through a long, busy hallway to a different room for inspection. I could feel the protruding nozzle plug in my ass flop around as the cart moved. The other employees stared as I went by, a few smiled with satisfaction. How humiliating I thought. I heard murmuring. "Bitchtied pervert getting what he deserves!" one girl said angrily.
Finally in the inspection room, I waited. The door opened, Beverly entered with two blondes behind her, my mom and my sister. The two gorgeous sluts were dressed similar. My mom was wearing tight, denim, high waisted shorts that displayed her ass and curvy hips, they were pulled-up high in a way that you could see the denim tight against her twat. My sister came dressed in super short spandex yoga shorts, tight ones that lifted her already firm butt into perfection. Both wore crop tops with their stomachs and matching naval piercings exposed. Images of my sister's sloppy pussy flashed in my head, my cock and balls both swelled. I stared at their bodies and let out a loud, desperate moan as my cage grew excruciatingly tight.
Part 3 to follow...

What a horrific saga of a home sale. We decided to leave the US for my home country, we lived in an area with high home values but limited appeal. No phone, TV, cell or terrestrial internet service, but near some of the best skiing and hiking in the world. Mid 20222 We found a cash buyer from word of mouth who was also a general contractor. There were some legally required updates to the property necessary for a title transfer. The buyecontractor agreed to do the work at a heavily discounted rate worked into the purchase price. What should have taken 2 months dragged out to 8 months past the expiry of the contract. When we'd spent over $20,000 excluding equity, we demanded a renegotiation. Our realtor friend also stepped in saying that we were way under market value, pressuring us to list it on the market. This all triggered a legal battle that never went to court, however it was discovered that our contract was negligently deficient, and the attorney who drafted it as a neutral party is now threatening to sue us for breaching said contract on behalf of the buyer, we put the property on the market as we are now out of contract and clearly not going to proceed (mistake), receive a few offers and then when we managed to find our own attorney who would take the case, we were informed that it needed to come off the market immediately as our failure to act at the end of the contract expiry looked bad on our part and could be construed as a tacit extension of the contract. A nasty battle of lawyer's letters ensued resulting in the buyer's lawyer recusing himself (officially but still probably advising in the background) on threat of a malpractice suit and bar complaint, and ultimately we came out ahead recovering the carrying costs completely. Finally our house goes back on the market and we get a contingent buyer who dicks us around for months. A title report shows a $70k lien that we were never aware of. The contractor then tries to stand by it triggering another small legal battle that scares off the buyers. When they back off we are now in the depths of winter when nobody buys houses. Our realtor probably fed up with everything, demands we drop the price $30k. At this point we have had a total of 60 days on the market in the last year and we have strong words back and forth with the realtor. Come late winter we get an offer at asking price, as is, accepting all prior inspections. We just got our appraisal at $2k over the sales price and everything is moving ahead. The money isn't in the bank yet but I'm so excited to be done with this hellacious rollercoaster.
Lessons learned: pay the money to have an FSBO contract professionally reviewed by a second attorney, and be realistic on the value but don't let an impatient realtor bully you into an undervalue price just to clear their board. Anyway that's my story.

If you do decide to use this script please let me know I'd love to see how it turns out. Any minor changes are perfectly fine sfx is all completely optional as well. I tried to keep it pretty gender neutral but if you want to add any pronouns that's perfectly fine.
Script description: The listener is on their period, but the speaker doesn't know. They're supposed to be going out with some friends tonight but the listener isn't feeling well, so the speaker decides to cancel the plans and they do an at home movie night.
Comforting You While On Your Period
Tags: A4A, Comfort, Period, Movie Night, Canceled Plans, Cuddles, Snacks, At Home Date Night
[A4A] [Comfort] [Period] [Movie Night] [Canceled Plans] [Cuddles] [Snacks] [At Home Date Night]
(shower running, knocking)
Hey, love you almost done? We need to head out in about 45 minutes. Okay well just let me know if you need anything.
(Shower turns off, door opens and closes)
Oh hey there hun, are you okay? Are you sure? Okay, Hun just let me know if you need anything.
What’s that? Oh, you need my opinion on an outfit, okay I’m coming.
(Footsteps)
Where are you, hun? Babe, you look amazing. Yes, I mean it, baby.
I know I already asked you this but are you sure you’re okay? No, you just look like you’re in pain, you know if something is wrong you can tell me, right?
Why didn’t you just tell me you’re on your period, you know it doesn’t bother me.
Oh honey come here, I have never and will never think you’re gross. How are you feeling right now? Crampy, tired, nauseous, and you have a headache, if you were feeling this bad why didn’t you tell me sooner?
How many times do I need to tell you that you will never and have never been a burden to me? Do you want to stay home tonight?
No, I won’t be mad if you don’t want to go. If you’re not feeling well then we don’t need to go. It's not like we can’t make reservations for another night.
Babe look at me, we don’t need to go if you don’t want to. Love, our friends will understand, no one will be upset, we can go out with them anytime.
Okay, okay, you're fine I understand. I hate when they say they’re fine when they aren’t
(The speaker thinks to themself, the speaker's phone starts ringing)
I’m texting Mia telling her I’m not feeling well so we can’t make it tonight. I don’t know what it is but I just got this random headache…. Why are you giving me the face?
What do you mean you know what I’m doing?
(Dramatic gasp)
I’m offended how dare you accuse me of lying to our friends about not feeling well so you don’t have to go out when you’re not feeling well.
(speaker says in a sarcastic tone)
But now that we’re not going you can get in your pjs and I’ll get some snacks. Ah no, we are not going tonight. I already canceled. We can go out when you feel better.
I don’t know what you’re talking about, I said when I feel better
(the speaker laughs softly)
You change into some comfy clothes and meet me in the living room in like 15 minutes, okay?
You look comfy over there
(speaker laughs softly)
No, I'm not making fun of you. I’m just saying you look cute all curled up in the corner of the couch with a blanket so comfortable.
Yes, I grabbed the snacks and I got you some Advil and tea, yeah I’ll just set the mug right here. Do you want any water or maybe a Gatorade or anything else? Oh yeah right, I’ll go grab the heating pad, anything else? Okay hun I’ll go grab the heating pad but if you change your mind and want anything else let me know
Okay, love here is your heating pad. It’s no problem just let me plug it in real quick. How does that feel?
Awesome now let me get you your book, the remote, and your laptop in case you want to play any video games. I could also get the Xbox out of our room and hook it up here. What do you want to do Hun.
Of course we can cuddle, come here love, how are you feeling? I’m glad you're feeling better. Do you want to watch something?
(speaker chuckles softly)
Is there anything else you want to watch other than that? Why must you torture me with that face?
(Speaker laughs and sighs)
Fine, since you’re not feeling well and tonight is your night I guess we can watch it.
Wow that’s an immediate mood change
(speaker chuckles)
Yes you can have the chips
(chip bag crinkling)
There you go my love. Oh you want the ice cream too, yeah let me go get it out of the freezer… Babe I kinda need you to let go of me if you want me to get the ice cream.
Come on love, okay you need to choose do you want me to cuddle you or do you want me to get the ice cream?
(Speaker laughs)
No you can’t have both. Don’t give me those eyes babe you know they’re my weakness.
Fine, come here, yes I’m picking you up. This is the only way you can cuddle me while I get the ice cream, do you want me to put you down and leave you on the couch? That’s what I thought
(Footsteps, freezer opens)
Which flavor do you want? Okay there you go, no let’s get you a spoon and we can go back to the couch.
(drawer opens, metal utensils hitting each other, drawer closes, footsteps)
Now let’s set you down right there, and I’ll sit right next to you.
(Speaker kisses the listeners forehead)
Are you comfortable, love? I’m glad, now let’s get the TV going. I love you too sweetheart.

This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My (20F) sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents (54F and 56M) and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces), he completed basic training and and got several months through training and moved to the secondary base in NC before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was rpd by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been S A'd, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did S A her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart (incidentally, right before Trevor came to visit her on leave). She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.
Tl;dr My sister's boyfriend lied about the circumstances of him dropping out of college and joining the military. Now I think he's lying about not making it through training for two different special/ elite forces. My sister has significantly changed her behavior and I think she may have lied about a significant traumatic event to our family. Now she is planning on moving across the country to him and moving in immediately. Our entire family doesn't like him and we're worried about her. How do I support her but not her relationship?

This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My(20F) sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents (54F and 56M) and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces, linking the training pipeline here: https://www.reddit.com/greenberets/comments/xwdbta/current_sf_pipeline_correct_me_if_im_wrong/ ), he completed basic training and and got several months through the NC training before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was rpd by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been S A'd, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did S A her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart (incidentally, right before Trevor came to visit her on leave). She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.

This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces, linking the training pipeline here: https://www.reddit.com/greenberets/comments/xwdbta/current_sf_pipeline_correct_me_if_im_wrong/ ), he completed basic training and and got several months through the NC training before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was raped by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been sexually assaulted, abused, or harassed, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did sexually assault her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart. She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/MediumGrouchy5547
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
I found my sister who disappeared from everyone more than 15 years ago after she ran away from home
Trigger Warnings: abandonment, depression, self-harm, eating disorder, possible mental health issues
Editor’s Note: TCA stands for trastornos de la conducta alimentaria which translates into “eating disorder”
Rastafarian: a religious movement
Original Post: April 26, 2024
I'm really happy and confused and I really don't know if I can talk about this with friends and family but I need to share my experience with someone because I missed my sister. I don't need or want any advice since no one really knows the situation to be able to give a good advice without assuming things they don't know and it's weird to read people talking about my sister like if they know what she lived, I just want to share this and I know a lot of people have had experiences like this too so maybe someone can relate.
When I was 10 years old my older sister who was 22 at that time disappeared after leaving a note to our parents saying that she's okay and just wants to start over her life.
My sister was always a lonely but outgoing person, she always told me that she enjoyed solitude from time to time and noisy things took away from her quality of life because tbh it was loud LOUD where we lived and it was annoying even for me (we lived in a dangerous neighborhood so it wasn't too safe and she hated not being able to go for a walk at night or do things at night alone), she was depressed and I remember seeing her suffering from severe anxiety attacks, she used to hit herself to stop them and she had a strong TCA that triggered those things. She suffered from other mental issues as well and talked freely about that, she talked about those things in front of me and these are things that leave a mark on you.
She was the favorite of the whole family although mi parents never out pressure on her, they always let us do our life (my brother who was 19 at that time knows that, my sister was the golden child), my grandfather always made it clear that she is his favorite granddaughter, even now. She was the calm but funny kind of person, she was the closest to my parents and uncles so when she disappeared from one day to the next no one understood what was going on.
Even my sister had never traveled alone except to go to work and she always notified my mother that she was okay for safety reasons. She left a long note clarifying that she doesn't want to be searched but she loves us. It was a big blow for the family, I remember my mother wanting to report to the police but they said that my sister was not a minor and the note said that she left by her own so they can't do anything.
In a way, my other brother knew that this would happen at some point, since our sister mentioned a lot that she wanted to leave everything and go live in the countryside or become a nun and live in a calm place without any worries but nobody took her seriously about that. She was always the kind of person who did things without telling anyone, she liked her solitude sometimes even if she was always friendly.
The first months and weeks were strange, it wasn't that she had passed away but that she disappeared because she wanted to, I remember my mother missing her because they always shared the afternoons together.
I also missed her a lot, Even years later my family missed her and at Christmas or her birthday someone would always say "maybe she'll show up now" or we would wonder how she's doing or if she was alive.
Back to the present. I'm on vacation in the south of my country (This part of my country is very expensive for a tourist and I am the only one in my family who was able to come now that I am an adult), it's a place full of villages and while I was exploring I came to a place where they sold typical handicrafts of the place.
While shopping I can swear that the first thing I saw was my sister looking at some crafts on a shelf, she looked more adult but obviously I recognized her instantly, we are really similar after all.
I didn't really knew how to react after so many years and I didn't know how she would react, but I went over and said her name. What I didn't expected was that she would smile instantly when she saw me and called me by my nickname. I thought she had escaped because she didn't wanted anything to do with the family even if in the note she said she loves us, but she was greeting me as if nothing had happened.
She told me that she didn't expected to see me there and asked me if I was on vacation, she said that the village used to be not so touristy but now more people started to go and many villagers opened stores for the tourists. I was upset, I was angry with her for leaving us and pretending that nothing happened but I couldn't react so I just asked her if she lives in that town and she said yes, It's a place filled with old people.
We talked for a few seconds, she asked me what I'm studying and if everyone at home is okay, she told me I'm taller and thinner. Then she gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me that if I have a few days off I can go visit her but she doesn't have a cell phone so she told me that she's almost everyday there. My sister also told me to send hugs to our parents.
I'm confused and full of questions about her, she doesn't even wants to hide, she didn't looked or talked to me like someone who wanted to run away from something and hide. She was just happy to see me and happy to know that we were all good.
But I also feel resentment for her when I think about all that our parents and grandparents suffered when she disappeared, making my mother feel that she was a bad mother because she couldn't protect her.
But I'm ambivalent as I'm also happy to know that she's okay and that she doesn't hate me or the family but I'm also confused, Her behavior wasn't that of someone who is hiding or who doesn't want to know anything about her past, she was just happy to hear about us.
Edit: I'm sorry but there are people who clearly don't read the post, there are literally people saying that I didn't even knew my sister and commenting as if they knew her and taking things for granted about her life, there are even people saying that they don't understand why I'm 'angry' (it's just a feeling, a normal feeling, it's not that I hate her and I will treat her badly, god. Nor will I talk to my family without talking to her first, at what point in the post did I say that I'm going to expose her? I'm never going to treat her badly either because I have no reason to do so, It's crazy how half the comments draw silly conclusions) with my sister when i literally say it up there, even if my English is bad because it's not my first language, just read the post before you want to get a few likes for some unnecessary advice.
Additional Information from OOP on his sister’s note

OOP: My sister in the note said that she loves our parents, my brother was 19 when our sister left and he himself knows how much our parents loved and supported her when she was having a hard time with herself but the outside always affected her badly.
I was ten years old but I wasn't a baby and I remember what the family dynamic was like, I remember the feeling of my family, my parents are not narcissists and my sister loved them and they love who's my sister, she just had her own problems.
How could a parent miss the idea of their children? There's not a day when my parents don't miss everything about my sister, they miss sharing the day with her, my father even missed when she was cranky. My parents always let us go our own way and I can assure you that they never pressured us to be what they wanted us to be, I don't even know what they want us to be.

Relevant Comments
Mil1512: Is your sister neurodivergent?
With the hitting herself when struggling with anxiety and enjoying solitude.
I'm neurodivergent and my family live in another country. I honestly forget to talk to them most of the time and only really do because my mum messages me first. If she didn't we just wouldn't talk. Not due to any hate or anything, I'm just happy doing my own thing.

OOP: She's not. My sister had a lot of self-destructive behaviors and hurting herself was one of them when she felt 'fat', she also had eating disorders and panic attacks because of that. I don't remember too much but she did other things to not eat besides hitting herself, she was very open about her TCA and yes, she has a diagnosis from a professional.
My sister was always in touch with my mother and everyone in text, she always used to keep in touch when she was going out until the day she left, now she doesn't even have a phone. In her note she just said that she wanted to leave everything

mikuzgrl: It almost seems like the sister has been in contact with someone for a while and thinks news is being passed back and forth.

OOP: I never thought about that but I don't think so, seeing how my parents miss her I think the first thing the family would do would be to at least tell my father that she is okay :/

 
Can people just stop with the aggressive messages? Weirdos: May 1, 2024
I understand that many reflect their personal traumas in this site, but I literally received passive-aggressive messages calling me idiot or even telling me that I would hate my sister if she were neurodivergent or claiming that my parents abused her.
What's wrong with y'all? Go to a psychologist and stop reflecting your unresolved traumas in the story of a person you don't even know. Go out and touch grass and talk to a real person instead of literally sending private messages like that.
I didn't asked for any advice and just wanted to share my story because that's the point of that subreddit, but many took it the wrong way and decided to turn something positive into a way to fight.
I don't even understand why out of nowhere I started getting those kinds of messages or if someone share that post on a weird place.
 
Editor’s Note: TLP is trastorno límite de la personalidad which translates into Borderline Personality Disorder
Update: May 7, 2024
On sunday I finally found my sister again, she was selling things in the park with other stands, all of them are rastafari, not hippies or a sect. I walked over and she greeted me just as happily, we talked a couple of things and my sister told me that she doesn't have a cell phone so it was impossible for her to tell me that she wouldn't be there on Saturday.
I spent the afternoon with her at her stand and after that we went to her house, she lives alone (and sometimes with her friends). We talked for a while and at one point she broke down and hugged me, saying she was trying to stay calm all this time and didn't knew how to react because she didn't wanted to make me cry too bc she remembered that I was really sensitive but she couldn't hold it anymore. We cried and talked a lot.
My sister was tired of people, she said that our house was her safe place but hated the idea of having to work everyday and I didn't wanted to study anything, she was our parents' golden child, so they let her do whatever she wanted, but she knew that at some point she had to make something of her life. She was tired of how stupid and empty everyone was, of the politicians, of the TV showing empty things, of the noise everywhere outside when she wanted peace, even sleeping in our home was stressful for everyone because of the noises outside during the weekends when she wanted to be alone to smoke and listen music (tbh, In my memories as a child I didn't remember the obvious smell of joints that my sister had all the time)
That added to the pressure that society put on her to be physically perfect make her want to leave everything behind.
She didn't wanted to die but realized that my parents were miserable when they saw her being miserable, this is something I didn't know, but my sister said that our father had two jobs to be able to pay for her psychologist and medication, also my father used to spoil her a lot with the only food she eat without guilty. Running away was like dying symbolically.
My sister says that although our parents always supported her, she felt like a failture for not being able to improve and always relapsing, she felt bad to see our father working so hard and also wanted to live according to her spiritual mentality, free from all that is toxic in society.
All of those things make her ran away from everything, she felt like a burden and also didn't wanted to live a life working and miserable like everyone.
Sis told me that she never contacted us because she doesn't wants to have a cell phone and a trip to our province is too expensive to her because it's basically going from one end of the country to the other.
She hates capitalist society with all her soul and doesn't even have a TV. My sister said that she is much better now away from the city. My sister told me that she wants to talk to our parents but doesn't knows what to say and we don't want to give them parents a shock since our dad was sick a few days ago and is recovering from dengue.
I'm writing this with her beside me and doesn't understand what's the point of this site (The last social network she used was fotolog in 2007) but said that she doesn't mind if I post this. She wanted to write something but said she doesn't like writing in English haha
My sister was reading the comments and wants me to clarify that she never suffered any kind of a abuse, she has a lot of friends and never had any problem with anyone but likes to be alone from time to time to meditate.
And she's not neurodivergent (She said her behavior was normal because of her TLP), suffers from ED, borderline personality disorder and see a psychologist twice a month.
During her adolescence, the blogs Ana and mia were trendy, her friends had that 'aesthetic' and she was popular in fotolog (according to my sister, at that time it was taken as an aesthetic and even a book about that was really popular between teens, maybe someone from my country knows Abzurdah?). She hated going out when she felt fat, she couldn't have imperfections like cuts on her arms so she hurt herself with a rubber band when she overate, something she read in those blogs. Now she's in a good weight but it took her really long to not relapse again. It's been a long recovery for her and once you're anorexic you never stop being anorexic, she's always afraid of relapsing.
So that's it for now, we don't know how we're going to talk with our parents without making them freak out. And also my sister after seeing the comments on the post saw other reddit posts and said that her life is definitely better without a cell phone, she says that things like fotolog was the beginning of all evil haha
Relevant Comments
OOP on his sister being involved with Rastafari

OOP: Idk how it is in other countries to be honest, my sister doesn't live in community and there are no camps, she's one of the few who has a house because most of them prefer to travel around the country.
I really think it's impossible for them to be 100% Rastafarian here tbh because we are from South America and the Rastafarian community here is obviously totally different from the REAL Rastafarians, they just follow most of the philosophy
Edit: for example, my sister doesn't consider herself Rastafarian but she share some points of the philosophy they have, I don't know how the rest of them thinks

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
RECAP
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.  
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.  
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.  
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.  
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.  
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.  
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!  
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.  
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.  
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!

OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder.
I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it.

MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play.

OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't.
As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.  

Update: February 27, 2024
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!  
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?

OOP: I don't think mom thought too far ahead. I believe she assumed it would all just magically work out the way she wanted it to. She said she wasn't sure what she was expecting to happen (which I think was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it).

mak_zaddy: This was a great update! But ummmmmm no stardew valley update? What gives? Has Sebastian been woo’ed? How’s Leah? What’s happening?

OOP: Sebastian has indeed been wooed (and whoohooed) There's kids and cows and chickens. The two are still having a wonderful time at the game. They're working on completing the community center but it's slow going as they aren't trying to speedrun and just doing things as they want. I believe they're thinking about going into the desert mines once they complete that bundle, but they're both super chicken shit about it!

-my-cabbages: I don't really understand what you had to apologize for ... but I'm glad you're happy and the situation seems to be settling down

OOP: There wasn't much of an apology on my end, as everyone agreed I had done nothing wrong. Mine was more of a "I'm sorry you didn't feel as though I would listen." Type apology, which I don't really believe is a proper apology because apologies like that push the blame back on another. I mostly expressed my feelings and the shock of it all, and how betrayed I felt.  

----NEW UPDATE----

Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 (1 month later)
Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Hello.
I (33f)have the CPTSD Ive known about it since a 2012 and have struggled since then to get treatment other than ssris. I recently had a mental health flare up and have finally found a therapist that I like. I lot of this have been coming up in therapy where my therapist thinks I should be kinder to myself or stand up for myself. I’m not sure because I’ve been trying to do so but it’s not seeming to work.
My husband works for himself/ works from home/ teaching himself to run a business for the past year. We live in hcol I work full time and pay for our health benefits, (he has an office in the apartment and we still split rent 50/50 (when he has the money to) and pay for all household goods and groceries (unless he is working and he will pay for half) I do most of the large purchases, car, insurance vacations, electricity and water and cell phones and he has the internet. He had liked to live month to month while trying to work as little as possible. I enjoy being with him when he has time for his own pursuits and he doesn’t like 9-5 life so I’m very happy with him not working as much as I do.
The thing is, is that he has been telling me that I don’t do enough, or that he doesn’t ask anything of me, or that I don’t spend enough quality time with him. He doesn’t like that I spend time after work reading or listening to audio books, scrolling Reddit or watching Tv. He says that he wants to see me being productive. He talks about how I need to have more productive hobbies. Like instead of reading, writing, or if I’m reading, blogging or reviewing it. He wants me to go on walks. He says I’d be less depressed if I did more things. He calls the time I spend in the evening mindlessly scrolling and said today that all the time I spend on my phone I could be spending with him. My screen time average is 2.5 hours/day. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m just wasting my whole life away, it makes me think that he thinks very low of me.
This past year he wanted to start having dinner together at the dinning room table every night. (Like we are “supposed to” It’s been hard for me to rally for them. We would fight because I have a hard time eating without relaxing first and I would be so keyd up after a long shift he would get upset that I wasn’t appreciative. It took a lot of conversation to get him to understand that I need that wind down time before I can face dinner and conversation and real life again. I hurt my back and was unable to sit at the table so he has been understanding about sitting at the couch. After dinner and watching a show together he gets upset if I get on my phone when he goes in his office to work. He wants me to spend the time more productively. On my phone I read and listen to audiobooks. I read 5-6 books a month usually. Sometimes more if they are short stories. Idk how to explain to him that I like reading and it helps me relax. I suggested we read the 5 love languages book and he bought it which made me so happy, after he read it he said he excelled in all the love languages and that it was me who didn’t know how to speak his love language. What am I supposed to say to that?
He does most of the daily household chores ie dishes and laundry. I’ve told him in the past that if he paid for part of the electricity and the health insurance I could afford to get a cleaner. When I was in school and working part time I kept a better house but it’s a lot harder now because my job is stressful and mentally exhausting. I thought the cleaner would solve the issue. He doesn’t think we need one but gets upset that I can’t keep up with half of the duties. Dispite the fact he is home 24/7 and I’m only home in the evenings. Sometimes I work up to 14 hour days. Also, some days I need to be in bed. I give a lot to my job and I thought to was worth it to keep our lifestyle going weather he is actively working or not but now I’m hearing that the only thing I contribute is money and that it doesn’t count because he is going to pay me back.
It’s still hard for me though because I always have to make sure I have the money because I never know if he will be able to contribute or not. I don’t really want to work a bunch either. I am also just a work enough to survive kinda person.
The biggest issue I have is that I don’t think he respects me. Because how could you have such a low opinion of someone you respect? Why does he keep saying that I don’t do anything or that he doesn’t ask anything of me. How can he love someone who doesn’t do anything? He says that he is just trying to better me but I’m okay with myself. I’m not perfect but I’m not bad.
It’s true, I’m depressed and love to get cozy in the couch for hours at a time while listening to an audiobook and scrolling Reddit . I do clean on weekends that I don’t also work. I do the dishes twice a week and vacuum and clean the toilet every weekend. I do the litter box every other month. (It’s the crystal that get changed monthly) I buy the cat food and we split feeding them unless I’m working. I don’t do the dishes daily though(I get depressed with the endless daily tasks) I offered to buy a dishwasher because I had no problem doing that daily but he didn’t want me to spend money on it. I prefer to do larger weekly tasks because it’s hard for me to have the energy daily. I don’t like to cook after work so I’ll order us dinner or pick groceries that are quick meals. This is not what he considers healthy though and prefers to cook us healthy meals.
To me this relationship is me finding compromises and him finding reasons why I’m not doing things right. I am trying my best but I just feel like it’s never enough.
Am I crazy for being hurt by his attitude towards me despite him saying it’s to better me? Is my depression and laziness after work making me a bad partner or is my partner not being understanding of my needs?

TW: Suicide, Mental Illness, SA, Porn Addiction, Abuse, Pedophilic Thoughts.
Hi, this post is going to be insanely long post as I am gonna go over a lot of things in detail throughout my life. I am going to premise this with a very important disclaimer: I am not looking to be the victim. I am not trying and do not want to make you feel bad for me. Things I saw will end up sounding like attention-seeking and victim mentality, but please know that no matter how much it sounds like that, that is not my intention. I'm basically going to go through my entire life story, so buckle up.
We'll start at the beginning of my life in 2005. I'm born and have an older sister, who is still my only blood sibling. At 3 years old I experience my first traumatic events that I can remember. I start hiding in the bathroom whenever my parents fight, and after a fight, I try lightening the mood by dancing in a goofy manner, but I end up falling and slashing a big hole in my knee and have to go to the hospital. At 4 years old my parents get divorced, and my dad moves in with his girlfriend. I vaguely remember crying as he took his last suitcase out the door. I also start pre school at this time, and my parents start realizing I have mental issues. I get tested and come up with ADHD and autism. I hate loud noises, get overstimulated, hate fire, and can be very irritable. At 5 I do my second year of pre school, because my parents feel I wasn't socially ready. I did competitive cherr with my sister which was fun, except for a mean teammate and an unsupportive father. At 6 I start kindergarten, and have more traumatic events. I doodle on my paper and get yelled at by my very menacing teacher, which just stuck with me for some reason as I am very sensitive to arguments and such. I start having my first memories of being abused by my mom. She wasn't beating me but she would slap me, grab me, push me, and she threw my sister down the hall one time. At 7, I have the same types of memories, but good ones too. My sister starts getting in on the abuse and hitting me too. Her and mom start fighting all the time. And this is where my first sign of real issues shows up. My aunt babysat me after school every wednesday whike my parents worked their jobs. I was scrolling on my old chunky laptop and came across it. Gay porn. It was two men on a bed doing some sort of act. Im confused but cant stop watching. My aunt eventually comes in and puts an end to it, berating me. But I start getting worse. I keep looking it up on my tablet and getting caught by my dad and mom, and even get caught looking up how to end myself. I get the same talk that it wasn't good or whatever. And one time, I even tried getting my 2 year old nephew to "lick it" because I didnt think there was anything wrong with that. The next few years, the same trends become increasingly worse, and my parents also gave up trying to get me to eat healthy because of my picky eating habits due to the autism. I became overweight and no longer did any sports. I have a few more traumatic memories of my mom hitting me or destroying my stuff and making me clean it up. My porn addiction becomes worse. I start getting exposed to things like incest and beastiality. I also start having my first experiences with pedophiles. I was taught by another kid how to masturbate on xbox. And got into a party with someone else. They were atleast in their mid to late teens and possible older. They convinced me to teach them how to masturbate aswell. My addiction got worse and I would masturbate multiple timed a day at a very young age. I started hiding things from everyone. I started actually being attracted to the incest porn I was seeing so often and got into the taboo of it. As I got older I started fighting with myself, begging myself to fix my issues before it became to late, but I didn't listen. I started hiding my porn addiction really well and kept letting myself get groomed. I would show myself to pedos on omegle because I thought it felt good to get the attention. A 16 year old told my 12 year old self to send a booty pic, and I did, but blocked him immediately after. When I got into 7th grade I also started getting corrupted by public porn, and started masturbating at school. I was being bullied for my weight, and being smelly by that point, and was just so fucked up and never got help. If I ever talked to someone, I'd just lie and water down so everyone would think I was fine. In 8th grade I got bullied really bad, but covid ended that early luckily. I never masturbated in class again after this. This is where it gets worse, again. I become so deprived of human contact and addicted to sex, that I start sneaking videos of my father in the bathroom after his showers. To note, I don't have an amazing relationship with him. He was always very intimidating and bad at controlling his temper. Never good at having conversations either, so I've since closed myself off to him. I kept taking pictures of him, and eventually, started sneaking pictures of people I found either attractive, or even people that didn't repulse me. This included strangers, classmates, teachers, etc. I started really internally fighting with myself at this point. I hated myself. Who I had become. I tried and tried to make myself stop and become healthier, working out, watching else porn, trying to delete pictures I took of others, but to no avail. I eventually on rare occasions, masturbated to beastiality porn. I always felt so disgusted before, during, and after. These always felt like intrusive thoughts that I was acting on, but I didn't know that was actually the case until much later. I also starting convincing my grandpa to show me what it "felt like" as a 15 year old, until at 17 in 2023, he eventually coerced me into doing it to him, which I can't tell if it's SA or a taste of my own medicine, since I was a minor. I'm gonna go back to 2022. My sister's husband, who I consider my only brother, committed suicide. I was devastated. All i ever wanted was a brother, but I decided it wasnt meant to be. A few months later, I saw a cute guy at a local fair near my house, and feel deeply in love. I didn't masturbate or even look at porn for an entire week. I could not think of him sexually at all. Until eventually, the effect wore out. I started becoming addicted again, and also became to overbearing to the guy I was in love with because I texted him too much. He was 28 and I was 17, and he had no idea I actually liked him. This crushed me too, and the school year started soon after. I started imagining him and his friends withbme wherever I went and stalked his page constantly. I couldn't stop thinking about him. Later on in thar school year, I fucked up with both of the friend groups I was in, and lost them all. The rest of the year passed by slowly, but it still ended up okay. Now onto this school year, my senior year. I come back to school and no matter what I do, I can't get myself to stop. And a few months into the year, I finally get caught. I get suspended and don't come back for a few days. I get bullied as expected and lay low. My mom takes my phone and deletes everything, and I eventually tell her most of what I've said here. I relapse occasionally and watch certain porn that I feel guilty about, or snap a pic of someone. Luckily, I finally deleted everything myself and never took a picture of someone or watched beastiality again, and will continue that path. My current consensus is that I'm a classic case of a kid who never had a support system, which led me to making bad decisions, and just never stopped and got worse. I also now have been diagnosed with OCD, Anxiety, and depression. I was always big on recording and taking pictures of everything memorable, which contributed to this. I also have very intense intrusive thoughts which are still unmedicated. When I took that first picture of someone I thought was attractive, I felt disgusted with myself for months. But the thoughts got stronger and stronger, and I did it again to make them go away, until eventually they got more often and consistent. I myself don't want people to be uncomfortable. I hate people that do stuff like that, and I wouldn't wish the feeling on anybody. No matter how many times I tried to push the thoughts away, or stop what I was doing, I couldn't. I lost all self control. The good part of me wants to help people, make them feel safe, loved, and attended for, but that side lost the fight. My morals were completely washed away over the years as my thoughts worsened, and I kept doing what I could to appease them. I consider the thoughts another being inside of me. It's super powerful and no matter how much I try to push against it, it always wins eventually. I got prescribed meds and picked them up today to help with the thoughts, and I hope it works. I found out this is called Purity OCD, which is when you have intrusive thoughts, and eventually give in and act on them to get them to go away. I also have Brain Loop Syndrome, which is when you get into a bad behavior, and want nothing but out, and physically cannot do it. I also want to clarify again that I am not looking for sympathy. I'll take any questions or advice on where to go from here. I've been telling myself that I deserve to be tortured, raped, and killed, or to burn in hell if I end myself. Again, not for sympathy/victimization. People I've told about the situation in real life keep saying "well it's not like you committed a serious crime, lots of people are curious and many take pics but are afraid to admit it" but I feel like that doesn't make it any better?? It's still weird and wrong. But anyways, I'm open to any questions or comments about this, if you want to just comment "ky$" or "I hate you" I understand, it's totally valid. I just needed to say it, get some advice and answer questions. Have a good night ya'll.
Quick edit before the comments start coming in: Apologies for the long read btw. I also wanted to say if you're ever experiencing negative thoughts regarding anything I stated here, or have any issues in general, PLEASE SEEK HELP. Do not do what I did. More people will understand you than you believe. You are not as alone as you think. Please don't let it get to this point!! Ans also yes guys there is a few more little traumatic events or whatever sprinkled in there that are probably important but I think you guys get the gist.

I posted this earlier under my normal account, but I decided I wanted a bit of anonymity.
I had a very traumatic emergency department visit last year. I wrote a complaint, and it was pages long. Most of the issues were resolved in some way, maybe not to my full satisfaction but enough. I won't go into those.
The part that they lied about were times medications were given and times when they checked in to take my vitals.
The vitals weren't taken... I was left in the isolation cell for over 9 hours without any in-person contact with any human being. There is no way I could have slept through them coming in because a) I couldn't sleep and b) The door opening is super loud because it is like a jail door. They claimed they took them throughout the night.
I wasn't given my medication in the morning until about 2.5 hours late, which I get happens. But they claimed I got it on time which was not true.
Basically they said that I was so emotional that I wasn't remembering things correctly. I WAS emotional, for sure, but I was very, very aware of what was going on during that period of time. Plus, I was allowed to have my phone with me, so I have multiple text messages throughout the night to a couple of loved ones with comments about waiting for a nurse to come in to check my vitals, and eventually of me asking my loved ones to call the hospital to push for more urgency regarding my medications.
I even requested the camera footage. Initially, the department that deals with the footage was like, "Yup, no problem. Should have to you within 24 hours because there were no other patients in the footage (because it was only me in the isolation room obviously)." Then I get an e-mail the next day saying that it was too late to get the footage. So they allowed the footage to get taped over even though there was an open complaint regarding the above issues along with a nurse threatening me with restraint twice for no legitimate reason. One would think that they would want the footage to help provide professional education to that nurse for future issues.
One Doctor also put another lie in my file which I won't even get into. I did get them to write a letter to somewhat resolve that issue, but the letter won't show up on my main health record, it would only be accessible to someone who was digging deep.
I don't normally care what people think about me, but to have inaccuracies on my record with no recourse, no opportunity to have my rebuttal officially on record, it just kills me. It is one thing if people dislike me because they don't like my personality. It is one thing if people are gossiping about me. It is one thing of some rando makes up lies and spreads them around. Those things would not be an issue for me. But for lies to be on my official record, and for them to only really be included to cover their butt once I made a complaint - well, that hurts and it scares me. Plus, my complaint was very specific that I did not want ANYONE to get into trouble, even the nurse who threatened restraints. I just wanted policies to be updates and professional development to occur. These are the people I am supposed to trust when I am at my absolute worst. Guess I was a little too idealistic.

Throwaway for above reason.
A few months ago, I took a new job with a new retail store opening in my area and was hired on as a third key. Everything started out ok when the schedule was 8-4 M-F, however, after the store actually opened and the schedule changed to opening/closing and weekend shifts - all of a sudden there was an issue with the assistant manager wanting to close.
For background information, I am a single, mid-20s single woman without children. The assistant manager came to me one afternoon asking to switch her one closing shift the upcoming week with my opening shift that day because closing shifts “make her tired” and she also referenced the fact that she is a mother, and that she needs to “get home to get kid, otherwise her husband has to take off work.”
I refused to switch shifts with her and honestly made up a reason as to why I couldn’t, even though I shouldn’t have felt like I needed to. I then went and reported this to the store manager, because she also disclosed to me that she claimed that she was told in her interview she would “never have to take a closing shift.” I presented this to the store manager and basically told him he needed to handle it, because I felt uncomfortable to have someone in a supervisor position come to me and ask me in a pressuring way to switch shifts.
The store manager was perfectly understandable of this, and he did speak to the assistant manager about it. However, she quickly figured out who spoke to him about it as I was the only one she had asked to switch shifts with. This then started some pretty extreme retaliation.
Despite being told not to talk to me one on one, the next day after being spoken to by the store manager, the assistant manager approached me and asked to speak privately in the office, without a witness. She approached me somewhat aggressively, and I had an uncomfortable feeling about this conversation. I agreed to talk to her there, however, on the way, I began recording the conversation on my phone. I live in a one-party recording state.
During this conversation, the assistant manager started the conversation by asking multiple times if “we can just keep this conversation a total secret, just between you and me” and then violated open door policy by telling me that I was incorrect to go to the store manager, that she “didn’t mean anything by asking to switch shifts” and if I was uncomfortable, I should have come and talked to her instead of going to my direct supervisor (the store manager). During the course of the conversation, I counted over 4 times that she said “next time don’t talk to SM name, just come talk to me” and told me I should be understanding to the fact that “she’s a mother” and why she wouldn’t want to close. It was a very uncomfortable and unprofessional conversation overall.
I of course reported this almost immediately to the store manager and showed him the recording. He agreed this was fully out of line and spoke to the assistant manager again asking why she approached me when specifically told not to. Not knowing the conversation was recorded, the assistant manager proceeded to lie and say she just “wanted to smooth things over” and made up a completely different narrative that what actually happened. She outright denied ever telling me I could not report anything to the store manager.
After this is when the retaliation started to come out in full swing. One of my job responsibilities is to visually merchandise the store. The next day when I came in for my shift, the assistant manager was tearing down and completely resetting a floor set I had just done the day prior. I asked very plainly “what are you doing?” And she immediately told me “I am not going to deal with your attitude today and I will send you home right now.” This was 20 minutes after I arrived for an 8 hour shift.
I walked away and went to the back office and interrupted the store manager who was in a district zoom meeting at the time and let him know the assistant manager was threatening to send me home. He left the meeting and then proceeded to “mediate” on the sales floor the rest of the day, as the assistant manager did not act out of pocket when under the direct supervision of the store manager.
Another notable incident was an act of attempted physical violence before the assistant manager was fired. I was in the back stock room with the inventory manager when the assistant manager, who was pushing a large rack on wheels of very heavy merchandise (I can’t be too specific as to what the merchandise was as I’m scared it may give away where I work, but this rack would have weighed 350+ lbs easily) burst through the back stock room swinging doors without warning into my direct path. I jumped out of the way with mere seconds to spare or I would have been run over and definitely injured at the speed she was going and yelled out “excuse me!” To try and illicit a response, just in case she did not see me there.
I got no response. No apology, no excuse me, just dead pan silence as she then stared at me as she went by. It felt VERY intentional. She even dropped off the merchandise at the back of the room, turned around and walked out without ever saying a word to me. The inventory manager even rushed over to me and asked if I was alright because she could see how aggressive it was.
The next incident involved the assistant manager threatening insubordination against me, and this is when I felt like she was using language to try and write me up for something. Over the weekend, the store manager (and NOT the assistant manager) completed a new visual set as directed by corporate. Since I was not present for it, I have been previously instructed by the store manager that if I feel there is a better option to fit the set to the corporate visual standard, I have the full power to make those changes behind him. This is because he prefers to set the floor set from the beginning himself and then let me go behind and tweak his work to “make it perfect.”
Since I was previously instructed to do this, when I came into work after the set had been changed, I then proceeded to “tweak” it. My honest contributions were changing the pants on one mannequin, swapping a necklace on another mannequin, and setting a hat shelf for a group of hats that were not set on the floor at all. While setting the hats, I was told that I immediately needed to stop what I was doing because “this floor set has already been set, so you changing it right now is insubordination.” I am smart enough to recognize when she adopted new vocabulary often seen in write ups that she was probably working on one. It was at this point I finally decided enough was enough, and I called HR.
The HR rep was very understanding and listened to my complaints. I do realize HR is there to protect the company more than anything, but with the hostile work environment she was creating I felt like she was a big liability to have on their hands. I complained about hostile work environment, retaliation, harassment, and discrimination because I was made to feel as if I should close because I’m childless. She told me she would investigate my claims and then report back.
To make a long story short, my suspicions were correct and the assistant manager has created an entire write up for my “attitude”that conveniently started the day after I told the store manager about the “private” conversation she had with me in the managers office. It took about a week from when I reported it, but HR did fire her for retaliation. I did not find out about the write up she had written until after she was fired.
There were a couple incidents in the week when HR was investigating her like her calling the district manager because I took our register money to the bank to get change as instructed by the store manager. She skipped calling the store manager entirely and just went straight to the district manager and attempted to make it seem as if I was stealing. The other incident involved her yelling in my face loudly at the register in front of multiple customers and calling me a liar because I corrected her on a work policy.
Once she was fired, she immediately started calling my personal cell phone multiple times. I did not answer. She then sent me a string of multiple threatening texts messages and also tried to say that my recording of our conversation was illegal (again, we live in a one-party recording state). She had a printed out copy of the law and I think is honestly dense enough to not understand that I am the one party to the recorded conversation, therefore making the recording not illegal. I told her to never text me again, and she then proceeded to get violent and threaten to fight me if I ever saw her again and call me multiple curse words. I decided to block her number, hoping that she’d move on.
The HR rep called to tell me they had “closed their investigation” and I’d be notified of the findings on my next shift, however I told the rep that I knew she was fired because she was calling me and sending me threatening text messages. IMO, the rep started to act indifferent and told me to “report it to my local authorities if I felt uncomfortable”
Now, over the past two weeks there has been an anonymous number calling the store asking to speak with me. I have yet to pick up one of these calls, however one of my coworkers did tell the person the first time that I was there. They asked to speak with me, and then when put on hold they immediately hung up. I was nervous she may try to show up, but nothing happened that I know of that night. I chalked it up to maybe it was just an actual customer.
However, today an anonymous number called again asking to speak with someone with my first name. We have two people who work there with my first name, so when my coworker asked “which one?” The anonymous caller immediately said my last name and described my physical features to a T. My coworker told the caller I wasn’t working that day, and they asked when I would return. She told them she doesn’t know the schedule so she can’t say, and then the caller hung up.
I have NEVER shared my last name with a customer, EVER and anyone who knows me well enough to know that information would just call my cell phone and definitely not from a blocked number. I have a strong suspicion this is her, although I’m extremely nervous as to why she would keep calling after it’s been weeks since she’s been fired.
What can I do to protect myself? Am I entitled to protection from my employer given the circumstances around her termination? Does this qualify for some kind of protective order? I genuinely do not feel safe going to work right now. I do not feel like I’ve been protected enough. I understand times are hard and the job market is tough, but she put herself in a position to be fired. The state of the economy makes me nervous that she may feel as if she doesn’t have anything to lose now.
TLDR: my assistant manager was fired for retaliation against me and is now threatening me and has physically harassed me in the past and is probably calling under a blocked number to get my work schedule.

So the answer to this might be obvious, but I'm struggling because it's a delicate situation(s).
I have two residents that have daughters who are their POA and are complete nightmares. Both these people seem eager to hop on any small thing and will write paragraphs about how it's unacceptable and even blown things out of proportion and called state and installed cameras in the rooms (our IT department is coming to remove them this week as this is against our privacy policy).
Some examples include: reporting the fact that all caregivers have keys (that are turned in at the end of their shift) to the state because if someone forgot to turn it in and took it home, some random might take the key and come in and rape her mom. Same person also reported that a window (that she opened and didn't close) wasn't closed and locked because again, someone might come in and rape her mom. Same person also reported one of the painters doing our building for being on his cell phone with his boss because "he could have been taking pictures of her". Obviously, all reports came back as unfounded.
The other one had a problem with how the dermatologist had written an order for clobetasol and triamcinolone for 14 days on, 7 days off, then repeat AS NEEDED for flares and that we dared to make it PRN after her skin had remained clear. When she had a flare up, she was outraged that I'd made the order scheduled again after notifying her doctor. She also accused our maintenance director of making her raised toilet seat "unsafe" (aka fixing it so it actually fit and didn't slide around after she had first installed it, which led to her mom falling). She's threatened to call APS multiple times, but hasn't.
While these people are a massive headache to deal with, what really gets me is how the residents always feel the need to apologize for their daughters and tell us that they are happy and tell the staff and I that they appreciate us. They literally beg us not to call them or let them know if anything comes up like a fall, their blood sugar is high, or anything similar because "I don't want her to yell at me again". I've heard them yelling and talking shit about the staff, which then always turn into long winded emails laced with vitriol and aggressive tones and backhanded "thanks for taking care of this yesterday when I asked about it TWO WEEKS AGO" and the like.
We are planning to meet with each of them to discuss their concerns as this has been their standard form of communication for months now despite making multiple attempts to establish and request calm, constructive communication.
How have you guys dealt with these kinds of people before? Any success in establishing a better relationship short of telling them that they're reactionary, aggressive, and their own parents are scared of them? Lol but seriously, the amount of hours I've spent trying to placate these women is insane, and I can't continue with this, so any tips or experiences are very much appreciated!

There is a growing realization among a handful of observant bible prophecy watchers around the world that Donald J. Trump perfectly fits the descriptive criteria for the end times beast/antichrist given to us in both the old and new testament of the Bible. At present, no other AC candidate comes close to fitting all of the criteria like Trump does.
If the millennial day pattern prophecy is true, 30-33 AD (Christ's crucifixion) + 2,000 years (church age) - 3½ or 7 years (tribulation period) = 2023-2026 (Rapture?).
Assuming this chronology is roughly correct, the Beast/Antichrist must be alive and breathing on earth today, if he is to fulfill his important role in the end times.
The exact day or hour of Christ's return will never be known, but we are told in scripture that we will know the season of His return, and that it won't catch us off guard like it will for unbelievers. I strongly believe for multiple reasons that we are in the final moments of the church age. We must continue to prepare ourselves mentally and spiritually for what's coming.
On the 14th of June 1946, during a blood moon, Donald J. Trump was born in the New York City borough of Queens. On that same day, Infamous cabal occultist Aleister Crowley sent a letter to fellow Thelemite occultist John McMurty that the members Jack Parsons, L Ron. Hubbard, and others were producing a "Moon Child"; the Freemasons "Chosen One", that is, the biblical Beast/Anti-Christ.
In the following decades, masonic movie directors in Hollywood have released many iconic movies featuring arcane esoteric references to Donald Trump, as well as other related events of deep occult significance.
Donald Trump appears to have peculiar numerological connections to the magic numbers 88, 777, 911, and 1776.
700 days after Trump's birth, the prophetically significant rebirth of the modern state of Israel would occur on 5/14/1948.
Further, 70 years, 7 months, and 7 days after his birth, he would be inaugurated as the 45th president of the United States.
Seven months after his inauguration, the first Great American Solar Eclipse would occur on 8/21/2017, with the moon's path of totality dividing the continental USA in half, entering over the 33rd state, exiting at the 33rd parallel. This eclipse also passed over seven towns with the name "Salem". Trump himself infamously observed this eclipse with the first lady from the White House balcony, briefly looking up at the sun without eclipse shades.
Precisely two years to the day after the first solar eclipse, on 8/21/2019, Donald Trump made the odd proclamation "I Am the Chosen One" and also sent out a tweet likening himself to the "second coming of god" and the "king of Israel", which is blasphemy to God.
In another strange coincidence, exactly halfway between the dates of these two eclipses (December 14, 2020), the first mRNA covid vaccine was administered to a patient in the USA.
In 2018, a secret 80-minute cell phone recording recording was taken during a Washington, D.C. donor dinner with President Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman in attendance. Parallels are drawn between Trump and the Jewish Messiah using gematria. Parnas then presents a unknown gift to Trump from “the head rabbi of Ukraine” and "some rabbis in Israel". He explains that according to Jewish numerology, known as gematria, the letters in Trump’s name add up to 424, which is the same total attributed to the long-awaited Messiah. (watch here)
On 10/15/2017, Donald Trump made a cryptic remark: "Maybe this represents the calm before the storm". When asked by a reported what he meant, he said "You'll find out" and winked his eye.
Donald Trump has also narrated the cryptic "Snake Poem" at countless rallies. The final line that Trump emphasizes after the woman receives the viscous bite is: "You knew damn well I was a snake, before you let me in!"
When Trump is asked by political commentator Frank Luntz in a now infamous video if he ever asks God for forgiveness, he coldly responds: "that's a tough question," proceeds to say that he identifies as a "Protestant," and his pastor was "the late great Vincent Peele" (who incidentally turns out to be a 33rd degree Freemason). Trump then continues dodging the original question, so Luntz asks him once again if he asks God for forgiveness. Trump then looks at him smugly and finally admits that he doesn't, and that he simply moves on from his sins without repentance and "tries to do better" on his own accord.
The sinister Qanon cult movement began in the murky depths of the web during Trump's rise to power on the campaign trail. It has since become a worldwide grassroots movement, with fervent and fanatical followers perceiving Trump as a messianic figure who is the one that is destined to "take down the Satanic pedophile globalists" and save America - even the whole world itself.
On 4/29/21 Donald Trump proclaimed himself "The father of the vaccine". Under Trump's term as president, Operation Warp Speed sent untold billions to pharmaceutical companies to rapidly develop and produce the mRNA covid vaccines. Trump likened this project's significance to that of a "2nd Manhattan Project".
Trump also has a remarkable obsession with nuclear weapons, which was demonstrated during his "big button/little button" threats made against North Korea, as well as the occasional remark such as his suggestion to nuke incoming hurricanes to stop them and more recently against Iran with WW3 looming in the horizon.
https://www.gq.com/story/the-cult-of-trump

I am neha ( 26 f ) , I am here to vent and get some suggestions or maybe even a real friend . This is a story of how I ruined my love life and destroyed the man who meant everything to me . We grew up in Coimbatore , i first met my boyfriend when I was in 11th grade , I actually saw him in a video , it was a Facebook video made by his friends , one of his friend proposed a girl , so they made a video of it , he was there in it too . He is tall , above 6ft , he looked ok , normal , a bit weird too with his specs and curl hair . He didn’t stand out , after few days I saw in a local chat place , he was with his friend , all sweaty , they came from gym . I recognised him immediately though. I saw him sneakily , idk why , after going home I sent him a request to his Insta . We started talking the same night , he said he saw me too , we connected way too fast , he was very funny and practical, we became best friends very soon , we almost spoke daily , in that following year we became so close, there wasn’t anything sexual , we just talk about our day and our lives daily , then he got into a relationship with a girl , I liked her too , life was so easy and fun back then , after we got into college , I Started to date a guy in my college , but we didn’t stop talking , nothing changed between us , after going to college we started getting drunk and smoking up , it was all new and we all did it almost everyday in first year , it was pretty fun . The guy I was with that time , didn’t really smoke up that much , he got drunk but he didn’t smoke pot that much , but the rest of us gathered everyday to smoke pot and play carrom . We both even meet at night to just smoke up and listen to music . At the end of the first year , one day he called me one evening and told me that he wanted to meet me , he sounded very low , I was with my my boyfriend and his friends that time but I left there immediately,booked an auto and Met him at a usual place near an IT park , we drink coffee and smoke cigarettes there usually.he was already there when I went in , he saw me and smiled but that looked very sad , he told me that his girlfriend kissed someone , a distant cousin of her actually , she kissed him in a moment and texted her girlfriend about it , she mentioned that she regrets it very much , I can’t stand it , I don’t know what to do , I feel nauseous, stuff like that . He showed the screenshots , he didn’t talk much he just smiled but that killed me . I was so angry on her , I didn’t even know what to do to make him feel better at that moment, I said she is not worth it , don’t worry , things like that . He didn’t talk about it after that , he changed the topic and he just sat there for 30-40 mins just smoking thinking about something. We speak almost daily and I know everything about him , he told me when they first had sex , we speak about everything, just not anything sexual to each other , when I saw him like this , I was feeling only rage , I was so angry on her , I don’t understand why she kissed some other guy , after getting into that relationship he was very loyal , I know how loyal he was , he even got a tattoo of her initials , but when he knew about this kiss , it made him so sad I guess . After 2 hours , we went home . I called her as soon as I went home , i scolded her so much , she started crying and told me that it was a mistake, she sounded very regretful too , she cried so much , I couldn’t bring myself to be mean after that .but that night i couldn’t sleep , my ex called me all night but I didn’t pick his call , I kept texting him , we used to text in Snapchat daily , I kept sending him texts and he texted me back to , he said he is going to get drunk and pass out , I also felt that’s better , after some days she even cut her hand , like scratches with knife on wrists , she was very regretful too , then somehow they didn’t break up , he wanted to after that but she didn’t let him , but gradually it got ok , but after this we started to speak and meet more frequently than before , I started to drop him in my college , both of our colleges are in same road , we started going in one vehicle daily. Mostly I drove , we speak all the time about nothing , even when we were going on my scooty , we just make fun of people in road , we laughed , had fun . One day he even pressed my breasts accidentally, side of my breast . I started neglecting my ex , that guy I dated that time , after few months , people started to notice , but still we didn’t care . (I actually come off from a well doing family , my family has enough money but my parents have a very unsuccessful marriage, they don’t even speak to each other , I have a younger sister and elder sister . My elder sister is married , my younger sister difference is 3 years . My parents doesn’t speak to each other , my mom openly says that they are together only for the kids . ) I loved being with him , he made me feel safe , comfortable and it’s always warm when I’m with him . We smoked pot all the time though , it was so fun , we even bunked college went to room and just smoked pot and watched anime all day . One day my ex boyfriend and his friends were in Ooty and they wanted me to come , I said I’ll come with him , I can’t come alone , and I asked him to come . We rolled some joints and started to go in his bike , we went a beautiful ride , stopped and smoked up in between, after we reached there I went with my ex boyfriend. We all smoked up that night got drunk , he usually doesn’t talk that much , but all of us were drunk and it was chill , some of my friends like him some don’t , but it’s all chill . We stayed in a tent stay there , that night I was with my ex , he wanted to make out , we kissed and did some stuff but I just felt restless and distracted, I kept thinking about him and my ex was a drunk too , it didn’t turn me on , after some time he passed out . I went out and went to his tent to see him if he is asleep , but he wasn’t there , then I started to look for him and I found him near the fire place , he was smoking up there alone with a phone in his hand , he was just singing this song 7 years by Lucas I think , he was singing along with a joint in his hand , he saw me coming , smiled but he didn’t stop singing, I can see him feeling even little embarrassed, but he looked so happy and free . I sat down there started to smoke up with him . After sometime I asked him why haven’t even kissed even once , I just asked him in a fun way but he got all serious all of a sudden , he saw me straight in the eyes and told me that he would love to kiss me , I literally felt butterflies in my lower tummy , my hips felt all tight too , idk , I still remember everything though . I kissed him in an instant, I kinda rushed in and kissed him, it felt magical . We kissed for a long time , we just kissed , nothing else . But I loved it , after sometime we separated, he saw me smiled and said I tasted sweet and bitter with weed taste . But my heart was beating so fast that time , I wanted to make out with him right there , I’ve felt horny before but he was the only guy made me feel like this , I tried to kiss him again but he stopped me and told me im drunk and asked me to go sleep . Next morning they asked me to go with them but my mind was fully on that kiss , I came back to cbe in his bike , we didn’t talk anything for the first time I just hugged him on the way back , it was nice too . I thought about plans to break up with my ex , after he dropped me home I kept thinking about the kiss , things got normal after a few days , we were like before but we started to flirt a bit , I started to call him baby and it gradually became very intimate . One day in a movie I kissed him again and he kissed me back too , we started making out bit by bit , it developed into a place where he started to grope me while im driving , I enjoyed every bit of that , I broke up with that guy I was with but he was still with that girl . Around final year first semester end they broke up too . We had intercourse the next day , it was amazing , I loved everything about him and the best thing is he is my best friend too . We rented a place for us by college end , we had sex every single day , it was the best , I loved staying with him . After this there was covid and we had to stay in our place , for one whole year I lived with him happily, he never let me down even once , he was already very caring from beginning but after we got committed , he really did treated me like a princess . He didn’t speak much but his actions were most considerate , we both worked remotely and having the time of our life , two years went by , I was happy and fullfilled , at the end of third year he quit his job and tried to get a different better job with extra good pay , 3 months passed by , one day few friends of mine from my work visited our place , they told me about opportunity to work in chennai for a month , I took it and went to chennai for a month , he dropped me to bus and sent me off to chennai . We spoke daily but not that much , I went out with my friends daily got drunk , just having fun . Some of my friends think my boyfriend is beneath me , one even said that I deserve better , she said he didn’t even get a job in three months joked and asked me whether I am the one who’s paying rent , actually he never asked me rent or money , he always paid for everything , but that time when they were joking I didn’t defend him , I still couldn’t believe that I didn’t say anything . In that week I met a guy , he came with my friends , he flirted with me when I was there , after I went back to PG I got a text from this guy , he got my number from my friends it seems . After some texts I responded and we started texting ,i liked the attention I think idk , I was talking to my boyfriend daily too , but somehow he noticed that I am not ok , he asked me about it and I said it was work issue and I am tired , 3^rd weekend I met that guy alone , he wanted to have a drink and I went , I slept with him that night , to be honest the sex wasn’t good , when he got inside me I felt darkness , I swear . Idk why I did it , after sex that guy slept in a second , I saw him lying down and I felt like killing myself , I left to my pg in midnight , I booked a cab and went back . I saw my snap notifications from him but I couldn’t open it , I blocked that guy’s number , I went to pg , cried myself to sleep . Next morning I spoke to my boyfriend , told him that I got cold and resting today , he told me that he got a job as a business manager for a US IT firm , he sounded so happy and told me that he called yesterday night to tell me this . I was crying so hard when he was on the phone , at that moment I swear I even fogot the face of that I slept with , he asked me to get rest and I hung up . I couldn’t talk to him , I felt so guilty and ashamed , as I was thinking this I get a notification my swiggy that he placed order to my pg , he bought soup . I broke down , it was like everything is telling me how big mistake I made , suddenly my thought went to that day he told me about his ex’s kiss , I can see that sad smile . I decided not to tell him and love him more and more , he had his birthday in 15 days I wanted to do something for him . When I came back from chennai , he picked me , he was so happy to see me , he spoke about his new job to me on the way , he was like a child , maybe cause he missed me for a month , I can see that he is so happy like silly child just to see me , after going home I had sex with him , I even rimmed him and I kinda liked it , it was the best sex we had , I felt alive and also very guilty . I treated him better and better to ease my guilt , but this made him very happy , I arranged a small party with my sister ,his friends and my mom .the day before his birthday we got drunk he asked me why I am not being adamant like before , ‘enna kadhal ha ‘ (joking sayin I am so in love) he joked about how afetr five years we can get super rich and start a family , I melted hearing all this .i promised myself that I will never let him down . but ha ha This is why I think karma is a bitch , at the noon of his birthday I got a text from that guy saying that he is thinking about that night . He heard the notification took the phone to pass it to me , he just saw the phone simply , just a glance and he just stopped and opened the text , I was blowing up balloons opposite of him , I saw his face and my heart sank , he came closer and gave me the phone , he didn’t speak anything , I opened my phone in a panic , saw the text and I saw him , he asked me ‘ so you slept with some guy ? ‘ , I didn’t reply , my whole mind got blank , I felt like I was gonna faint , he just saw me and said why . Of all these years I knew him I never saw him cry , but now his voice was shaking , he just asked me ‘ yen ‘ (why in tamil) . I saw tears on his eyes , I can see his eyes becoming lifeless in a matter of minutes , I tried to hug him but he just moved away , no matter how much we fight , when I hug him , he gets all cute and lovely , but he just moved away in an instinct . He then came forward hugged me tightly , he said ‘ sorry ‘ . I still don’t know why he said sorry , but that sounded so weak to me , he is my everything and I hurt him , I know everything about him and I still fucked up . He hugged me for some more time , I knew this warmth might be the last thing . After few mins , he rubbed his eyes in my dress , saw me smiled the same way . But it felt more like he is laughing at himself , I watched my 6 ft man walking out of the room , I just stood there alone , and I felt very cold , I remember that cold everyday , evening people came for the party and he got ready and cut the cake , fed me the first piece , my mom and sister was there too , he behaved very good , spoke with my family , but I can see that he is broke , but he still made it through the night , I went to speak with him that night , but he said he can’t . he said ‘ please I can’t ‘ . I choked hearing his voice , he went to terrace , I didn’t sleep at all that night , I walked around our little one bhk apartment , I smoked two packs of cigs that night , I went to check on him in the terrace by 4 , he was sleeping there on the floor , he hugs himself in sleep and its so cold , I cried watching him , just one day ago he was being silly like a kid talking about future family , now he is there alone , heartbroken . Morning usually he makes coffee and rolls one , I made coffee and rolled one , waited for him to come down . He came down saw me and smiled , but its not the cheerful smile , it just hurt so bad watching him like that , he drank the coffee , smoked up with me , even told me its good. Then he got ready , I cooked but he said he can’t eat , he is not hungry , that morning was so silent , he cheers up with he sees me , he was my biggest fan , now he left home with just saying bye . I got a text from him that aftrn asking me to move back to my mom’s if possible , I was dead . I couldn’t say no , I hurt him , he didn’t even scold me , he even requested me , I can only say yes . I asked him that I want to stay one more night , he said ok like always . That night I asked him to cuddle with me , he said ok , he wanted that too it seems , we just hugged in silent , he slept off quickly , he always told me that when I sleep with him it makes him stressfree and he gets a good night sleep . He was asleep on my breasts , I saw him sleeping and I couldn’t stop my tears , realising that this is the last time , I made a stupid mistake , but everything felt unimportant now , I saw him sleeping and I kissed him on his cheek , must have whispered sorry a 100 times , our four years relationship came through my mind , I realize that he made sure I was happy in every way he knew , I proposed him , I made him fall for me , now I broke his heart . I didb’t sleep that night too , morning I dozed off , when I woke up he wasn’t there, he made juice for me and left for work . I packed some of my stuff and went to my mom’s . when I stepped out of our little home , I broke down and cried . I went home and cried , I told my mom we fought , but my sister knew something was up , she tried to ask him but he said it was a small fight , I confessed to her that night , I still remember seeing her confused look , she is a gen z kid , but even she gave me a look of confusion , she didn’t understand how I could do that , she liked my boyfriend very much , she was almost proud of him . But when she knew I cheated on him , she felt disgusted I think . Our sister bind kind of broke too that night . My life was dull , I missed him every second , I missed talking to him , I missed his smell , everything . I just focused on work , two months went by with no contact . I saw him near IT park at our spot one day, he looked like he was sick , he lost weight , his eyes are dry , he looked so pale . I saw him from a distance and I couldn’t believe my eyes , my baby looked so weak and sick , he was having a coffe and smoking a cig alone at the place we used to sit . My eyes teared up watching him , he looked so lonely . None of my friends knew we broke up because I cheated , he specifically asked me not to say anything to anyone . I didn’t speak to him that day , I couldn’t . I was full with guilt . After going home I called his friends and asked how he was and they said that they lost all contact with him and he is ghosting everybody . I broke him and also made him alone , I seriously considered killing myself but I was a coward . After a month , when I was in office , my mom got a diabities issue and fainted , my sister called him in a hurry , he came immediatiely and admitted mom in hospital , when I came there I saw him with a plastic cover with insulins for my mom . After my elder siter came , he left , he asked me to call with updates . Before leaving he asked me why I cheated , he said “ is it because I am not satisfying you “ or “ you wanted a emotial support “. when he said that , I just stood there , I can see his face , hiding a humiliation , I never had a sex issue with him , I loved being with him , but my baby asked me this , I felt ashamed . I couldn’t face him , I just stood there , he said never mind and left . I stood there seeing him leave ,but I didn’t give up , I started texting and snapping so much and somehow I made him talk to me normally , but his eyes has lost its color, he looks like he is tired of everything . After few days we both got drunk and alone , I kissed him as soon as I got the chance , he kissed me back too , usually when he kisses , he hold me ears , looks me in the eyes and kiss me , he did the same out of the habit , as soon as our eyes locked , he bursted out in tears , I truly felt how much this man loved me and how much I hurt him , he wanted to do more but he stopped himself , when he burst into tears, my heart completely broke , I hate myself so much , I hate my friends for fucking up my mind , I hate that guy . My man is gettting punished for giving everything to me , its been a year , he changed , he looks lean , unhealthy , I even think his hair is falling , almost like a zombie . I would glady kill myself for him , I just want him to be happy , I destroyed the only person I love , I see how devastating this can get for him, he looks so weak , I can’r accept it . I should’ve defended him when they joked about him . Its all my fault , its been a year and I still can;t go back to him , I can’t imagine another guy to raise my kids , I want him . Help me .