How to hit jackpot in topspin

On May 10th, 2024, the Darkest Dungeon subreddit was hit by a post about Wayne June. The voice actor for the narration of the game was deemed as every type of -ist and -phobe, with his tweet history scanned for anything he liked. Not what he posted, what he liked. These ranged from simple tweets from Elon Musk about the word “racist” being used more in news reports, to a post from End Wokeness about how San Francisco wants to use drones to catch criminals. You might be wondering “when does the offensiveness happen?”
Apparently, his main crime is liking a post that determined the people who need a roulette reel to pick a bathroom are people who don’t have all their marbles.
Even in 2010, this would have been common knowledge. We would point and laugh at people who wandered into the wrong toilet, especially if they sat down on a urinal. Now, we are forced to respect this concept that people can wander around into spaces that they are not welcomed, especially by feminists who claim a bear is safer to be around than a man. The institution has become insane, with indie titles copying this sentiment, ironically for a series that’s all about characters going insane. What furthers disappointment is how the mods of the subreddit defended his cancellation and even attacked any rejection of said cancellation.
What followed was another post that determined this outrage was extra and unjustified, but was quickly taken down by the mods who “wanted the topic to stay in the initial post, to avoid the subject getting out of control”. This is woke-speak for “do not go against our agenda, and stick to the narrative”. I’ve noticed for a while that indie is not safe from the woke mindvirus. I am told that indie is the way to go to be safe, only to be met with multiple woke circles revolving around popular indie titles. And remember: this has nothing to do with the developers, because this was a voice actor they hired.
In the case of Wayne June, his activity is no different than Joe Rogan on JRE, with his likes of Elon Musk being seen as mundane and uneventful to normal people. But to the woke, this is him announcing that he is the enemy, because the woke oppose liberalism. Liberals are not allowed to demand freedom of speech or even freedom of association, they must be contained and controlled in fear of the narrative being questioned. Progressives have determined that they must control the narrative, as a form of biopower, inspired by postmodernist philosophers like Michel Foucault. It’s not that these things make sense or adhere to reality, but they must control them and manipulate people into believing they are, so that a progression is made.
Naturally, Red Hook Studios has two choices to follow up from this event:

1. Accept the cancelation and exile Wayne June
2. Reject the cancelation and feel the wrath of gaming journalists

If anything, we are now going to get hit pieces and more cancellation material about this poor guy, who is simply a voice actor for an indie game. If this were the 00s, the absence of twitter(as well as facebook) would have kept this guy under the radar. Now that indie developers, as well as employees, are practically forced to hold social media accounts, they are forced to obey the woke narrative. In order to gain traction, they must appeal to woke streamers and woke journalists, only to accidentally enter a cursed contract to join the church of woke, being conscripted into a culture war they weren’t even aware of. I don’t know how old the guy is, but he looks like he’s in his late 40s, meaning he is simply a product of his time.
I also don’t want people to react negatively to the developers themselves, over what their subreddit does. I don’t know how intertwined they are with each other, but it’s not like they are willing to do a woke test before acquiring free labor. Sadly, this is why the woke keep on taking over places, because they don’t have anything better to do and find benefit in controlling the narrative. Their quest for power becomes jampacked with plenty of acolytes who are willing to sacrifice their own time and money for their gnostic, civil religion. With how they kick and scream when people don’t believe their pseudoscientific nonsense, you’re damn right they’re going to stay dedicated to spreading the word, by any means necessary.
Indie is not safe from wokeness. It never was. It is harder to directly tie oneself to wokeness when going indie, but the indirect enforcement around social media and journalism will cause the product to become infected through fandom. Any power witnessed by the woke will be sought by them and turned into a tourist trap. The tourists will follow the fashion, they will start making up conspiracy theories about how “x project was always woke”, and eventually the neglect or ignorance of the game developers will be taken advantage of. Then there is also the threat of money loss, whenever tourists take over a particular property as the majority of a fandom.
To make an example, let’s say you release a game and didn’t expect much of an audience. Somehow, you get 100k people going crazy about your game and you feel like you hit the jackpot. So much attention, so many possibilities, and now you can make more games. Money goes way, goes into further production, and suddenly the fans start making demands. The liberal developer will obey them because they don’t see a harm in making money from pleasing the audience.
All the while, the tourists were making the demands for diversity and they made sure they were the loudest. Positivity is enjoyed in silence, while negativity is heard by everyone through reviews and hit pieces. The woke embrace negativity, while liberals beg for omission of anything that would get the attention of the woke. Unfortunately for liberals, the woke are able to make things up and cancel anyone they want with anything they want. It doesn’t have to be true, it just has to be convincing and inflammatory enough to be spread around and get memory holed.
If it didn’t work, they wouldn’t be constantly doing this.
Being a game developer is hard, but being an indie game developer is utter hell. The amount of tip-toeing they have to do, the ridiculous demands they have to obey, the sheer amount of gaslighting they have to suffer through. Many are not mentally prepared for such a moment. This is why, for any aspiring indie game developer: be mentally prepared for the worst. Practice your cancellation in the mirror if you have to.
It’ll save you in the long run.

On May 10th, 2024, the Darkest Dungeon subreddit was hit by a post about Wayne June. The voice actor for the narration of the game was deemed as every type of -ist and -phobe, with his tweet history scanned for anything he liked. Not what he posted, what he liked. These ranged from simple tweets from Elon Musk about the word “racist” being used more in news reports, to a post from End Wokeness about how San Francisco wants to use drones to catch criminals. You might be wondering “when does the offensiveness happen?”
Apparently, his main crime is liking a post that determined the people who need a roulette reel to pick a bathroom are people who don’t have all their marbles.
Even in 2010, this would have been common knowledge. We would point and laugh at people who wandered into the wrong toilet, especially if they sat down on a urinal. Now, we are forced to respect this concept that people can wander around into spaces that they are not welcomed, especially by feminists who claim a bear is safer to be around than a man. The institution has become insane, with indie titles copying this sentiment, ironically for a series that’s all about characters going insane. What furthers disappointment is how the mods of the subreddit defended his cancellation and even attacked any rejection of said cancellation.
What followed was another post that determined this outrage was extra and unjustified, but was quickly taken down by the mods who “wanted the topic to stay in the initial post, to avoid the subject getting out of control”. This is woke-speak for “do not go against our agenda, and stick to the narrative”. I’ve noticed for a while that indie is not safe from the woke mindvirus. I am told that indie is the way to go to be safe, only to be met with multiple woke circles revolving around popular indie titles. And remember: this has nothing to do with the developers, because this was a voice actor they hired.
In the case of Wayne June, his activity is no different than Joe Rogan on JRE, with his likes of Elon Musk being seen as mundane and uneventful to normal people. But to the woke, this is him announcing that he is the enemy, because the woke oppose liberalism. Liberals are not allowed to demand freedom of speech or even freedom of association, they must be contained and controlled in fear of the narrative being questioned. Progressives have determined that they must control the narrative, as a form of biopower, inspired by postmodernist philosophers like Michel Foucault. It’s not that these things make sense or adhere to reality, but they must control them and manipulate people into believing they are, so that a progression is made.
Naturally, Red Hook Studios has two choices to follow up from this event:

1. Accept the cancelation and exile Wayne June
2. Reject the cancelation and feel the wrath of gaming journalists

If anything, we are now going to get hit pieces and more cancellation material about this poor guy, who is simply a voice actor for an indie game. If this were the 00s, the absence of twitter(as well as facebook) would have kept this guy under the radar. Now that indie developers, as well as employees, are practically forced to hold social media accounts, they are forced to obey the woke narrative. In order to gain traction, they must appeal to woke streamers and woke journalists, only to accidentally enter a cursed contract to join the church of woke, being conscripted into a culture war they weren’t even aware of. I don’t know how old the guy is, but he looks like he’s in his late 40s, meaning he is simply a product of his time.
I also don’t want people to react negatively to the developers themselves, over what their subreddit does. I don’t know how intertwined they are with each other, but it’s not like they are willing to do a woke test before acquiring free labor. Sadly, this is why the woke keep on taking over places, because they don’t have anything better to do and find benefit in controlling the narrative. Their quest for power becomes jampacked with plenty of acolytes who are willing to sacrifice their own time and money for their gnostic, civil religion. With how they kick and scream when people don’t believe their pseudoscientific nonsense, you’re damn right they’re going to stay dedicated to spreading the word, by any means necessary.
Indie is not safe from wokeness. It never was. It is harder to directly tie oneself to wokeness when going indie, but the indirect enforcement around social media and journalism will cause the product to become infected through fandom. Any power witnessed by the woke will be sought by them and turned into a tourist trap. The tourists will follow the fashion, they will start making up conspiracy theories about how “x project was always woke”, and eventually the neglect or ignorance of the game developers will be taken advantage of. Then there is also the threat of money loss, whenever tourists take over a particular property as the majority of a fandom.
To make an example, let’s say you release a game and didn’t expect much of an audience. Somehow, you get 100k people going crazy about your game and you feel like you hit the jackpot. So much attention, so many possibilities, and now you can make more games. Money goes way, goes into further production, and suddenly the fans start making demands. The liberal developer will obey them because they don’t see a harm in making money from pleasing the audience.
All the while, the tourists were making the demands for diversity and they made sure they were the loudest. Positivity is enjoyed in silence, while negativity is heard by everyone through reviews and hit pieces. The woke embrace negativity, while liberals beg for omission of anything that would get the attention of the woke. Unfortunately for liberals, the woke are able to make things up and cancel anyone they want with anything they want. It doesn’t have to be true, it just has to be convincing and inflammatory enough to be spread around and get memory holed.
If it didn’t work, they wouldn’t be constantly doing this.
Being a game developer is hard, but being an indie game developer is utter hell. The amount of tip-toeing they have to do, the ridiculous demands they have to obey, the sheer amount of gaslighting they have to suffer through. Many are not mentally prepared for such a moment. This is why, for any aspiring indie game developer: be mentally prepared for the worst. Practice your cancellation in the mirror if you have to.
It’ll save you in the long run.

As the title says - I hit the jackpot with the care coordinator I was assigned last year from the CMHT and she has been fantastic.
Unfortuantely for me, she is leaving to work in another area of the council and, as a "thank you", I basically wanted to send an email to someone just highlighting how brilliant she has been - however, I'm not entirely sure who to email.
My understanding is that the CMHT is jointly through the NHS/LA so would it be ok to email both? I wasn't sure if the LA would just tell me to speak to NHS tbh. The reason I want to do both is as I am not sure if her next position falls under NHS but it certainly falls under LA so wanted them to be able to see it too ideally.
Any thoughts? :)

Please, I am begging. His punches are not enough to beat any high tier characters, including reincarnate sorcerers and high tier special grade curses. He has no realistic offensive capabilities with blood manipulation. His shrine output isn’t enough to do any serious damage. He hasn’t shown the ability to simultaneously keep up simple domain and defend himself in a domain battle. He literally leaves himself open every time he uses RCT. Black flash is not a realistic win condition for Yuji on any top tiers because they either have abilities than can kill Yuji before they get it off or defend themselves from taking a direct hit.
I don’t think Yuji is weak, but you guys are being unrealistic when considering many of these matchups. There’s no way you can claim Yuji can beat Hakari when he doesn’t have the firepower to kill him before he can get another jackpot. There’s no way you can claim Yuji beats Uraume when there’s nothing stopping her from flash freezing Yuji and destroying him in the ice. There’s no way you can say Yuji’s beats Yorozu with soul punches when she literally WEARS FUCKING ARMOR. It’s almost like none of you guys are trying to think about how Yuji’s abilities would work against these other characters abilities.

Hey, guys! I stumbled upon this fascinating article that I just had to share with you all. It's all about dermal fillers, and let me tell you, it's a total eye-opener! Dermal fillers are like the secret sauce of the beauty world, offering a non-surgical way to turn back the clock and give your face that youthful glow. From smoothing wrinkles to plumping lips, the possibilities are endless! As I read through the article, I couldn't help but imagine the incredible transformations these fillers could bring—not just in looks but in boosting confidence too.
What's really cool is that the article breaks down the different types of fillers and how they work, making it super easy to understand. Plus, it talks about the safety aspect and the expert advice you can get in Houston, Texas, which is reassuring. As someone who's always been curious about cosmetic procedures, finding this treasure trove of info on dermal fillers felt like hitting the jackpot. So, if you're intrigued by the idea of enhancing your natural beauty in a subtle yet impactful way, I highly recommend diving into the world of dermal fillers—it's a game-changer, trust me!

I've frequently heard the argument that only a select few CTs like Limitless and Anti-gravity can have Cursed Technique Reversals (which was never stated) because some CTs just aren't reversible. To that, I feel like some people need to use some imagination. Hence why I've made a list of some CTR ideas I came up with. I didn't include cursed spirits and my excuse is that they will die upon even attempting to make RCE (it's actually cus im lazy and is trying to cut corners) the list might also be lacking in Culling Games characters cus I'm not too familiar with the stuff in culling games (i'm an all over the place reader) with that, lets begin
Boogie Woogie Instead of clapping and swapping, the user swaps first, then claps. If they dont clap, it will keep draining RCE until they do. if the user runs out of RCE, the requirement will automatically force them to convert CE into RCE, and if they run out of CE as well, it'll mess up their inner circuitry severely, permanently reducing their jujutsu capabilities to that of a regular civilian. thus this ability should be used carefully and at the right times or in an emergency. When utilized effectively, it can be used to catch opponents off-guard when they are expecting to hear a clap first, or to get out of situations where you don't have that 1 second to spare for clapping and needs to react instantly.
Ratio I had 2 ideas and can't decide which one's better so I will list both, there is an offense oriented one and a defense oriented one Offense: the 3:7 point becomes a strong point where hitting that spot does reduced damage to the target. However, the six other points all become weak points that you can score critical strikes off of. A quick combo that strikes multiple of those points in quick succession would deal extreme amounts of damage that will allow you to instantly decimate almost any target. Defense: the user applies ratio to themselves, giving them a weak point in return for greatly strengthening the rest of their body. only the user can see their own ratio (though high IQ opponents can make approximations) The user can also freely switch the weak point between the 3 margin or the 7 margin, which keeps opponents guessing as well as prevent the user from getting oneshotted in certain cases.
Uraume's CT Steam manipulation. The user can manipulate extremely high temperature steam that can instantly set things on fire on contact. Also due to the extreme temperatures, the steam would normally be highly dispersed, but the user can manipulate it to pack tightly together so that it appears like regular steam in order to conceal its destructive potential, as well as vaporize or explode things on contact.
10 Shadows 10 Reflections. The user can use the shadow of their shikigami to summon their "reflection". These reflections look similar to the original shikigami but have reversed abilities. However they are only usable when the regular shikigami is also out and their movements closely mirror the original, thus limiting what the user may be able to do with them. Below are the abilities of some of the reflections Nue - Nullifies electricity-like phenomena on contact Max Elephant - Its trunk can suck up small objects and non-solids over a fairly wide area Toad - forms a linked "portal" system between the reflection and the original by swallowing things and spitting them back out Rabbit Escape - a single rabbit that can create decoys of the user Great Serpent - a snake that can shrink itself to the size of this period . When shrunk, the snake's presence also becomes less noticeable, allowing it to stay hidden. Similar to how you can capture people by putting them inside the snake, you can send the snake to slither inside your opponent and cause internal damage, especially by returning to their original size. Basically the ant-man strategy. Round Deer - Constantly replenishes the user's CE instead of performing RCT. Piercing Ox - The longer it stays still, the stronger its next attack becomes. The downside is that due to the movements of the shadow and reflections closely mirroring each other and that they both need to be out at the same time, it's hard to properly utilize both the regular piercing ox and the reflection at the same time. Mahoraga - instead of adaptations giving mahoraga an advantage, they give the opponent a permanent disadvantage. Also when one mahoraga receives a stimulus, the other mahoraga will also learn about the same stimulus, allowing them to both make adaptations for something that only one of them experienced. Having both mahoragas pumping out their adaptations side by side would be able to achieve insane effects.
Blood Manipulation Marrow manipulation. The user is able to control their own marrow as well as the qualities and quantity of the blood they produce. The user is also able to "de-age" blood to convert them into even more marrow outside their body to produce even more blood. Marrow created this way will passively produce insane amounts of blood at virtually no cost until either destroyed or they rot away.
Projection Sorcery Instead of mapping out their next 24 frames of movement, the user will instead have to retrace their previous 24 frames of movement. Doing so will also cause time to rewind. Failing would cause you to get frozen as usual as well as stop the rewind at its current point. The only people who know time was rewinded or the original events of the rewinded time is the user and the target (if they tagged someone for the offensive version) Just like the original, this move is spammable (though less so than the original) however it is way trickier to pull off. When using the tag/offensive version, the user can alternate between the lapse and the reverse to keep opponents guessing and get them to mess up.
Cursed Spirit Manipulation The user is able to free cursed spirits from the effects of CSM to give them the opportunity to keep growing. The user is also able to take cursed spirits out of themselves and plant it into others instead. This ability works on sorcerers and non-sorcerers alike. When planted into someone else, the cursed spirit will become loyal to their new host, however they are still loyal to the CSM user as well, and their loyalty to the CSM user takes complete priority over that of their host.
Kashimo's CT The user becomes "chargeable" They gain the ability to absorb electricity and convert it into vitality.
Tengen's Immortality Instead of Tengen absorbing a Star Plasma Vessel, the SPV will absorb Tengen and become the new dominant personality, as well as inheriting Tengen's memories, powers, and binding vows.
Yuta's Mimicry If the user can be thought of as a DVD/CD which you can burn/engrave CTs into, the CTR will allow the user to upload those CTs onto their target. The user needs to be careful with this ability as allies may not have the necessary physiology to withstand this process.
Puppet Manipulation Allows the user to use their curse energy to control their own biological body like a puppet. This is like as if the user could use telekinesis on themselves. The user's use of reinforcing their body with CE also becomes way more efficient and effective.
Hakari's CT Instead of manifesting objects from a Rom-Com manga, the user manifests objects from one that is dark and sad, like nooses, razors, or guns for example. When using domain expansion, everytime the user fails to get jackpot, it'll damage the opponent's mental health(part of the sure-hit), as the opponent is having to deal with the dark side of a gambling addiction. If the opponent fails to get jackpot within a certain number of attempts, they will commit suicide (this is a rule/sure-hit attack, they WILL do it) This is avoidable with the use of anti-domain techniques but you will need to do it before you become too depressed from the previous effect. If it hits jackpot, the domain will break right then and there, but the user can retry later when the cooldown ends. Just because you win once, doesn't mean your gambling addiction goes away.
Ui Ui's CT Instead of the user having to personally be there to teleport something away or to teleport himself somewhere, the user will teleport valid targets to himself. The range of this ability covers nearly half of Earth. I haven't decided yet on what makes something a valid target.
Auspicious Beasts Summon Acting as a spirit medium like usual, instead of the user channeling the auspicious beasts to his location, he instead will enter the spirit realm themselves. The user will be able to move around as though he was astral-projecting, and no one would be able to detect their location within the spirit realm. Also if the user is to use lapse while in this state, the beasts will be launched from the location of his spirit body rather than his physical body. From the perspective of his opponent, it would look like the attacks are coming out of nowhere.
Granny Ogami's Seance Technique Instead of channeling the body/soul information of someone who is dead, the user channels the body/soul information of someone who is still alive. This ability is much more reusable than the lapse variant.
Jiro Asakawa's CT It's the guy that takes less damage if you hit him hard, takes more damage if you hit him lightly. The reverse lets you apply this rule to others instead, allowing you to deal massive damage to others with little effort.
Gakuganji's Guitar CT Allows the user to absorb attacks in a Guitar Hero kinda way. The 'streak' also riles up the user and empowers their lapse attacks.
Construction Came up with two and I cant decide.

1. Allows the creation of anti-matter
2. Allows the user to convert physical matter into CE. The user is also able to automatically feed this CE straight into their lapse, essentially performing a reconstruction that is less taxing than using the lapse by itself.

Miguel's Hakuna Lana The user weakens themself but strengthens their allies. The longer the user remains in battle, the stronger these effects become. The range of this ability is extremely short, with a radius of only a measly 6 feet. Also, the buff isn't distributed amongst their allies, instead all allies in the circle will receive the full buff. Thus, the more allies you can pack into your circle (while continuing to fight by the way) the more you get out of this ability. Downside is that this ability is very risky for the user.
Alright guys that's what I got for right now.

Idk where to start. I don't even know why I'm doing this. But I believe a different perspective is beneficial.
My first crush was in primary school, a kid's love, so to speak. I liked her only bcs we sat close to each other for 4 years. A very dumb reason, but enough reason regardless. But, since I was a kid at the time, I didn't do anything about it. Naturally, whenever my classmates were to ship her together w someone else, I would feel a bit jealous, but mostly sad... This crush lasted till the end of primary school when I had to leave for a different city.
And I guess that experience taught me that having feelings for someone was bad. And after I entered junior high school, I subconsciously, and consciously, repressed any feelings that might develop towards someone. And looking back at it, I might have hurt a girl.
I would suddenly text her for hours and hours for a few days. Obviously, we were having fun.... but then I would just stop. And in school, I would act as if nothing had happened. And I did this twice at her.... which kinda explains why she felt quite cold to me afterward.
But since I was a kid, I didn't even know this was happening so I just continued on w my life.
After passing my junior high, I didn't enter senior high and instead took a tutoring class that prepared us to get a certificate that helped us to go straight to university.
And that was when I met her. A literal, and breathing angel I'll tell you. So let's call her Eve.
Just like usual, I would repress any potential feelings that might develop, and considering 1 of my best friends likes Eve. I definitely push those feelings further than anyone else.
But unlike before, I failed miserably and still developed a crush on her. But being the good old me. I told myself,
I'm not ready for a relationship yet.
I will study at SG, and I can't stand the thought of LDR.
Fast forward, I'm now 20, this year 21. One of my siblings just gets married. And my parent is starting to pressure me to get into a relationship.
Finally, I'm now considering it. And just like that, Eve appeared again in my mind.
It's been 4 to 5 years since we last met, but considering that I had a crush on her despite trying my best to push my feelings away, I guess she leaves quite a deep impression on me. And I even texted her for a few hours non-stop 2 years ago bcs... I saw a picture of her and I miss her. But again, it's been so long since we last talked, and longer since we last saw each other.
But that last straw broke when I had a conversation w my girl best friend. I told her that back in the tutoring class, I might have had a crush w someone she knew. And she immediately guesses Eve. Everything was blurry at the time, so I couldn't remember what she said, but one thing that sticks was that ironically, they also suspect that Eve might have had a crush on me at that same time as well.
I mean I hope she is correct, but I refuse to believe it and it was all in the past now..... but considering that I can't sleep afterward, that's enough reason for me to muster my courage to reconnect w Eve.
Eve is in a different country now... and ironically enough, in Singapore doing her studies... but jokes on all romance fanatics, I'm done w my studies and now back in my hometown helping and starting my own business.
I'll be honest, it has only been 4 days since I started talking w her. But now that I let this feeling grow... I might have lost control over it.
2 days ago I found out she might have a BF. Idk why she won't just say it directly... but Eve is having a pretty bad time w this person and expecting an end soon.
It's been over 4 years... It would be foolish of me to think she won't have a BF, especially w her personality. But the reality really hits me hard.
It would be against my principles to backstab a guy like this. I don't hate him, I mean who wouldn't want this woman? But ignoring that, how could I steal someone else's girlfriend? By that point, do I want someone like me to be w Eve?
I wish I could just wait for it, hoping they break up and finally make my move.... but I.... really really want her. She is a literal lottery jackpot to me.
I don't even know if my feelings had turned to love, but I know for a fact that I desire Eve not from lust. She is indeed pretty, yes, but she is not my type. I prefer a slim woman while she is more of a... f I can't believe I'm saying this. But she is more of a curvy beauty. (I'm sorry Eve. And no, you are not fat, if you are in the US, men would literally line up for you. Our country just doesn't really accept that yet T-T)
I haven't seen her face yet and she might have slimmed down and I'll fall even harder for her. But I don't need those. What I love about her is her smile from back then. Her smile, 4 years ago, was burned in my memory and is just the most beautiful painting I could ever imagine.
I love how she always held herself from cursing. I love how she tried not to hurt the other party's feelings. I love how she got flustered and embarassed by a dumb mistake. I love how she would fail at her joke and don't know what to say. I even love how she got frustrated or confused about something. I love how she enjoys doing the things she loves. I love her shyness and attempt to hid her hobbies while I had to dig around it just to find out we share so many similar hobbies. I love her sweet voice. Her charming eyes. Her white smile. Her cute glasses.
Even her bad tendency to downplay her good things, which I'm trying so goddamn hard to fix and build her confidence.... is so fkin lovable.
....It might have been a mistake to let this feeling grow. No wonder many philosophers said that love is poison. It's only been 4 days and look what it got me.
So.... I really can't afford something based on chance. What if things got better between Eve and her BF? What if my family starts matchmaking me? What if I got even more busy w my business? What if... I give up on Eve?
So one month.
For one month, I decided that I would do my best to appeal myself to her. I will introduce who I am and show her how happy she would be w me even in an LDR relationship. I will... try to make her love me.
And then I'll tell her the truth. But I will not ask her out. All I ask is whether she is ok with me loving her. If she said ok, then I would continue improving myself and become the best partner she could ever have. Whether it be money, understanding, or even affection, I will strive to keep our relationship as healthy as possible, one that brings the best out of me and her. And one day I'll properly ask her out.
....But if she said no. I will have to stop interacting w her.
I wish I could still be friends w her. I really do. But even though I can be friends w other girls. Eve is different. It's either I love her or I don't know her.
I know that she will most likely say no... especially if she indeed is having a relationship w someone else. Hell, to be honest, if she were to say yes despite having a BF, I don't know how to react at that time. Is this really the woman that I love? Should I tell her to break up w him?
But I just don't know anymore. Because of how desperate I am to get her to say yes, the thoughts to manipulate our relationship begin to appear. Even now, despite really wanting to, I intentionally stopped talking w her to create this sense of down so that the up would feel even richer, I'm trying to plan out when our interaction should and should not begin. When I should reply, when we should converse. And this is starting to look like the hot/cold tactic, which scared me. I mean, I know I can't act cold towards her. Whenever I'm w her, smiling to the point of hurt is the only I can do. So I don't believe I will do something cruel to her or god forbid, manipulate her.
But so what if I succeed at getting her? What if because of this mindset, later on in the future, I would do these things just to make our relationship feel constantly alive? What if I tried to control our relationship's ups and downs?
I'm sure I won't hurt her... but definitions can change. I could always reason that this is for the greater good. I want our relationship to never die down so that both of us will always want the other.... and to be honest, it really sounds enticing to me.
But what truly terrifies me is... what if I'm wrong? What if I don't love her? What if this is just something momentary? I indeed can't sleep properly bcs my mind is filled w her. But it's not like I think of her 24/7, I can still focus on my work and my social life if I'm determined enough. Do I really want Eve to be w someone who isn't even certain about his own feelings?
So what the hell am I doing right now? Am I in the right direction? Am I selfish? Foolish? Bad person? Should I just stop myself and really hope that she breaks up w her BF? I don't even know if I have the courage enough to tell everything 1 month later!
.....This is a first in my 20 years of life. I'm as clueless as a newborn baby. I hope your perspective will help me clear things out.

I got really lucky today finding 20 very inexpensive vintage goblets at a yard sale. I am collecting a very specific type/color for my wedding and couldn’t believe this jackpot. I set them on my backseat for the short drive home. On the way home, the car in front of me at one point hit a deer. I had to slam on my brakes and swerve. Over half of the glasses rolled off the seat, colliding with each other and ended up broken or chipped. I was/am so upset I didn’t position them better in my car. At least I don’t have car repairs on top of losing the glasses but I can’t stop thinking about it.
Can anyone relate? How did you forgive yourself? 😖😫

first time posting here, all of the drama regarding the new singles is kind of funny so I’m just here posting my 2 cents.
I’m 28 now, and I’ve listened to DGD since I was a big scene kid. I have thoroughly enjoyed all of their different Eras. big Kurt Travis fan and love him with DGD, but when he went to ALLB it was almost even better, love those albums.
Tilian is my favorite singer for the band, Kurt is a close 2nd but Tilian’s vocal range and melodies are just ridiculous. I’ve met the guy maybe 3-4 times going to their shows the last 10 years or so, and he has definitely got a big ego. dude was kind of a douche but honestly I love the music so much I’ve never been a Tilian hater or anything like that. absolutely love his vocals on every album he is on. I still bop Dreamhouse by Tides, and I do sometimes listen to his solo stuff. but out of the 3 projects, DGD is the best for sure. Jon, Will, and Matt are goated.
I’m also a big Eidola fan and really like Andrew Wells. Seeing DGD live without Tilian when Andrew was the front man really made me gain a lot of respect for the guy as well. I see a lot of people saying that DGD’s jackpot juicer was kind of a miss, and I have to agree. my favorite parts of that album are typically where Andrew’s parts are very present. may be in the minority but For The Jeers is my favorite song on the album.
All of this to say that I really do like the 2 new singles. I think Speed Demon absolutely rips, but Straight to the Heart took a bit of time to warm up to. after listening more, I really like it now. I really like how Andrew sounds in both songs, but definitely agree with some others saying the mixing/mastering isn’t great. and the melodies do sound to me like they were written for Tilian. I think Andrew has a great voice, but he isn’t Tilian and singing those melodies just aren’t going to hit the same. but just like he stepped up on that tour when Tilian was absent, I still think he did a killer job on these 2 singles that I would imagine were intended for Tilian. they may not be, but it’s still just 2 songs, it’s not really defining their new sound.
I think for the future of the band, who knows if Andrew will be the long term answer for clean vocals. I think it does say a lot that Will, Jon, and Matt think highly enough of him to have him as the 4th core member. If Andrew does stay as the singer, I think the band will definitely develop a fresh new sound complimenting his vocals. If they end up adding another member to sing, I’m sure it’ll still be amazing as well. I’m happy either way, and enjoying the Andrew era for as long as it lasts.
TLDR: I like DGD, they’re good musicians, and I think they’re going to continue to be good. idc about the drama, I really like Tilian as a vocalist, and I’m also pumped to see them with Andrew as the front man.

Hello dear gifted people.
Before I dive into what causes me to reach out to you, I need to clarify something. I may not exactly be "gifted", my mother had had always a feeling I was overly intelligent, but we never did any tests on it (wicked family worked as a barrier in this case); in return this meant I never got tasks or exercises that truly fit me or would make me use my full capability.
When I got to see a therapist due to depression and PTSD (because of my family) I asked my therapist to do an IQ test (I think they are globally standardized? If not, the test was taken in Germany, if that matters, I am not sure, feel free to correct me) and I got to be average with a score of ~109. It's not bad! I know. Many other tests I have taken online would rank me at 130-150 though, depending on the day and since now it has been a long time since my mental health has been at such a low point that I feel like it would decrease my mental capacity to the point where I would actually feel like I am average. Which I don't.
It bothers me that I never got to use the genetic jackpot I hit.
I am 22 years old now, and more often than not I have to face boredom in most things that I do. Depression and PTSD has led me to decay in terms of mental capacity and how long I would actually be able to focus on certain topics; pair that with the general criticism on German schools and how they treated me there, well, one thing led to another.
I excuse myself for any errors as English is not my first language; again, feel free to correct me at anything.
I don't even know how to continue from here on. I am ambitious, too ambitious. It makes me expect things of myself that drive me straight into burnout, I find it very hard to find "my people", though I know this is kind of everyone's problem here.
I want to be challenged intellectually, but, to my disliking, I often get mentally exhausted when I do challenge myself or get tasks. I want to blame it on my past. I know it's righteous to do so, I know the physiological effects of depression and mental illness in general on the brain, but I just don't want to accept it.
You see, I love to learn, to talk to my former therapist as he would just give me new perspectives and show me new insights on topics that I would have never thought before because I am stuck inside of some kind of mental loop that will make me go backwards while I try to go forward.
I feel sorry for mother because I could never live up to what she had seen in me. She always points out to certain things I could easily do, and I know I could easily do them, but I just can't.
I think the general issue that I face is to gain motivation, live with discipline and actually feel joy. When I get tasks done, I don't feel pride or whatever for when it's done, it's just another task off the list.
I feel like I expect too much of myself at all time and that's what's killing me. I want to learn so much to the point where I feel like it's too much so it starts demotivating me so I don't end up learning anything at all.
Sometimes I'd wish I'd actually just be average. No feeling superior in conversations. No feeling superior in class or at vocational training.
Oh and do I make mistakes...I hate making mistakes. But that goes hand in hand with being overly ambitious.
Guys, I am sorry if this text is not organized at all. I have been awake since 16 hours and not even a handful of sleep prior.
I could go on about myself, but I'll stop here. Maybe I'll create another post at some future point where I'm more organized.
The advice, next to the rant, I seek is: - How do you deal with that? - Is there anyone else that "was" gifted, slid into mental illness and now feels like they're handicapped? - Would I still count as gifted even though the official test only showed a score of 109 though most of me saying I'd be gifted states from various online tests, "a feeling", my mom saying it and general experiences throughout my life?
Thanks for any comments, and especially reading to that point. Thank you for your advice, kind stranger.

Sorry in advance…. This is kind of long 😬
I’ve been having a series of odd dreams- none are “reoccurring” but I know that the locations are? The dreams always take place on a shoreline. There’s always a boardwalk or pathway between the beach and the other side (which is always blurry or out of focus but I know it’s buildings and things). The beach and the water are always far below the boardwalk- usually a steep cliff and once I’m on the beach, there’s no way up. That’s where I remain for the rest of the dream. The beach itself is ALWAYS a narrow strip of sand with heavy, massive shore break. I don’t always find myself in the water, but when I do, it’s rough, turbulent, and dark and angry on top- but underneath it’s clear and calm(more like a lake).
This most recent dream, I was on a surfboard, paddling around and somehow affiliated with some kind of group or committee made up of random people from my past (the few I’m sure of their identities I was never close with and ranged from high school acquaintances to people I worked with indirectly at old jobs). In this dream, this committee/ group changed its leader and the new leader had called a gathering (took place in my childhood home that was on this beach somehow). Previous “years” discussions with this committee would be pleasant and everyone was able to say their piece and discuss openly and equally, but this gathering the new leader picked favorites and silenced everyone who wasn’t in that category, but did it in very two faced way? Like “I’m so nice and understanding, you can trust me, I’ve got you” and then turn around and make something up to alienate you from everyone else. There were 4 or 5 ‘non-favorites’ out of maybe 15 +/- people and I was the loudest and most vocal about the ridiculousness going on. It got me kicked from the meeting, ostracized from the others, and I found myself back on the beach. This time the strip of sand was completely submerged and the waves were massive. There was no way for me to climb up to the higher ground, so I waded further out and willingly submerged myself with each wave. Underneath the water, it was crystal clear. This calmed me, helped me think. I felt safe and at ease. I could see all these piles of shells and rocks and other things each time I’d go under. I’d dig through the sea treasures every time I’d go under and keep finding shark teeth, various bones, and what I knew to be very old fossils. Each find felt like I’d hit the jackpot. I made a collection of them and brought them to the committee to share and it turned out the new head called the old one and had made up false scenarios about me. The old leader believed them- as I tried to plead my case and show that what was said was NOT true, I began to feel VERY hopeless and betrayed- The old leader was always just and fair. My argument was something like “we’ve had this group for years and I’ve never done anything like (accusation) in all the time you’ve known me/ headed the group “. Their response to this was basically: “I know, you’re right. That doesn’t sound like something you’d do but ¯_(ツ)_/¯. I can’t just tell the new leader that”.
I then went back to the cliff face frustrated and hopeless- tried to figure out how to get away from them all/ climb up and then I woke up.
I’m honestly not sure what half of this could possibly mean, so if you’ve made it this far(thank you!)- maybe you might have some insight?
-have dreamt of the general shore location MANY times, but different sections of it - have dreamt of finding predator teeth, bones, skulls multiple times now (all under water that’s dark and rough on the surface, but calm and clear below) - this shoreline dream is the first incident where there have been multiple acquaintances from my past -also the first time my childhood home has been part of the shoreline dreams -most of the shoreline dreams I can easily remember for long periods of time - they’re mostly lucid, I can control most aspects, but not all

Every time I receive a trip radar request in LA, it gets accepted within SECONDS and it can be a truly awful offer. Saw someone take a $6.51 offer to go 6 miles all across LA in seconds at like 1 AM in the damn morning. I’m scared at how low people are going for Uber Eats. Who is doing these deliveries in LA? Our gas costs $6 a GALLON! I’m so freaking confused how people are so desperate… where is Uber finding these people? They really hit the jackpot. I mean I’d be laughing my ass off if I was the CEO. I laugh even doing this job seeing this. Any time I pass by other drivers waiting, they get a ping and I don’t even think they look at the offer details they just CLICK and run out of their cars, like little dogs running for treats. Run in and no English shove phone in face Pickup pickup pickup now now. Literally saw a guy at the bar so confused asked the lady why are you so excited to pick this order up? Uber paying that good? Clearly a lot of people recently have started doing it full time, who is it exactly? How is it all BRAND new Kia’s and Lexus’s? Older Armenian Men, Uzbek, Why and how are they making ends meet in LA doing this work full time in brand new expensive cars? So many questions 💀

I have heard it countless times to think from it not think of it or you are in Barbados. None of them made sense to me because if I wanted to go somewhere else I should just imagine it. Coaches often relate the idea of losing weight but the real world is more complex. If I try to hit the jackpot, how do I leave in the end? If I want to go somewhere else, how to live in the end? Also, how to ensure the authenticity of those success stories without a scientific methodology?

Every shameless character could have lived a good life from the beginning, I mean its a series obv so they had to extend it but like every gallagher could have lived a decent life if they hadnt made the choices they made.
Fiona- was doing so good at that cup selling company unless she slept with the owner's brother Lip- fucked himself up by the constant drinking when that affair with the professor came to an end Ian- well he was bipolar so cant say much bout him but like still he handled himself better than other gallaghers except the church thing debbie- was a straight A student as mentioned in one of the episodes but she fucked up by saying that she was on pills (tbh everything went downhill after she had franny but she did good managing the house in s10 ) carl- well he is just dumb liam- he got on my nerves with how he treated his uncle mavar like bro u r finally getting a chance to have a good family and u r just trying to prove a dumb thing that mavar was from the southside like huh?? frank and monica- i lost respect for them when they stole money from the squirrel funds saying they hit the jackpot from their own house ughh frank could have lived a better life with sheila
Imo the show did not have any structure after the first few seasons like it had so many loose ends and characters were just abruptly exiting the show. It was very stressful but still addictive.

You have to be prepared to put the work in, even if you fully automate it, you are required to out-work your competitors.
My name's Alistair and I've been writing cold emails for 3 years now. I've generated well into 7-figures in pipeline for services throughout my time as a freelancer, recently turned agency owner.
Cold Email is saturated, there is no doubt about it, yet the barrier to entry is still low if you are prepared to go one-step further and nail the 3 main areas required to fill your calendar:

1. The audience - do they have buying enough power?
2. The timing - is the audience actually in the market for your services?
3. The offer - dependent upon how well your copywriting portrays your offer.

If you get any of these wrong, you're going to get marked as spam, because your emails will be irrelevant.
If you nail all 3, you've hit the jackpot.
To find your audience, you need to have some solid research down on paper about them, and figure out where they're all hanging around.
Do they turn to reddit to look for answers from other business owners? Do they follow thought-leaders on twitter? When you know this, you can find their details.
To get the timing right, this links to your market research and signals.
Create signals using a checklist of essential and essential things that your ideal client would need to work with you and mark each lead accordingly - you are already 50% of the way to hitting the audience at the right time. Prioritise the leads that are most likely going to buy from you.
To nail the offer.. well, this is where you need to put the most work in. Test, test and test some more until you find one that seems to click the best.
Here's an example of an offer we used that got an SEO agency 3 new clients in April:

1. We sent an email asking for their permission to send over a free SEO audit
   
2. If they replied, we recorded the audit (2-4 mins long), assessing how they could increase website traffic with better SEO.
   
3. After we sent the audit over, we continued to help them and provide more value in our follow-ups until they booked a meeting.
   

Why? Because the single most important thing you need to cultivate is trust, especially if you want to get business owners to part with their sons or daughters inheritance.
If you demonstrate your expertise, not by selling, but by being a genuine help.. you'll win.
Yes, this is working for free essentially, and it's hard work, but that's the point.. that's something you have to do in cold email to stand out.. whether that’s your offer or really refined prospecting.. your offer has to be something other agencies charge for.
That's how you will win.

1.He wasn’t used to seeing the chaple from this angle. The view from the last pew made it look larger but at the same time warmer and more agreeable. The pews in front of him were worn-out and the wooden floors and roof had begun to rot. Lighting was scant. No candles were lit and the moonlight didn’t reach through the dirt-stained windows.
This late into the night, most of the people were already gone. The only ones still present were a young lady, Ariadne, who had just lost her husband in the battle of Arras, Mr. Jackson the towns fishmonger who was praying for his son’s recovery from typhus and Lennie, the chapel's caretaker. But the priest, for the first time, wished that there were none. These people never did anything to him and as the town’s priest he knew well each and everyone of them. He knew their problems and used to advise and console them every Sunday after the sermon. He never wanted to hut them. But now it was too late to back up. The decision was made. The explosives were already laid out under the pews and the detonator was sitting beside him, hidden by his oversized vestment. Just like many able bodied men who didn’t join the front lines, he had learned how to make bombs and ammunitions to support the troops.
Two days ago, the doctors had told him that he wouldn't last the summer. The shadow in his lungs was worsening. Hearing the news his heart had sunk, turning his thoughts to God. To the God he had believed in his whole life and dedicated half of it. Even after the Great War broke out, he managed to keep his faith steady. He believed that God had a grand design, a reason for every sorrow. But he wasn’t so sure anymore. How could God betray him? Him who had done nothing but serve him for so many years? Did he really have a plan, or was it all a trick? He sat there silently, looking at the Bible, always in his hands, when suddenly, a creak broke the silence, drawing his attention to the temple's entrance.
There now stood Sister Margaret, the nun who tended the temple’sgardens. She approached the priest and asked
"Father Jonathan, are you alright?"
The priest looked at her briefly before turning back to the Bible.
"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you."
Sister Margaret examined him for a moment, but decided not to press him further. She took a small bouquet from the folds of her dress, which she had gathered from the garden earlier that day, and gave it to him.
"I think they will brighten the temple for tomorrow's service. They will bring a note of beauty and hope,casting away the sorrow and darkness of the past few days. What do you think?"
The priest took the flowers and touched their petals with his fingers, letting their sweet fragrance fill the air around him. Knowing what he intended to do, he suddenly felt a sense of guilt.
"Thank you," he whispered.
As the nun made a gentle nod and turned to leave, the priest's thoughts began to waver. Her kindness and gentleness, the sight of these people seeking solace in the chaple, and the flowers in his hands rekindled his faith and hope.
But the moment lasted only a few seconds.His mortality began to weigh on him again,giving rise to new doubts and a sense of betrayal. As the hours passed and the candles began to melt, Jonathan remained lost in his thoughts.He opened the Bible, tracing with his fingers the words he had known since childhood,but they offered him no solace now. Every line seemed to mock him with promises of redemption and salvation. The temple seemed to swallow him up, its walls closing in around him, echoing with sinister whispers filled with uncertainty and confusion.
So, with the first rays of the new dawn already peeking through the windows, Jonathan made his decision. With his heart beating faster, he stood up and walked towards the altar. He placed the bouquet in a vase and returned to his sit.

1. "Oh, well what the hell" he thinks to himself as he lights his third-in-a-row cigarette. Today should have marked his 15th year without one, and under normal circumstances he would have been out, celebrating the occasion with Annabelle. She would have surely found a way to tease him, as always. Life was a never ending surprise around her. Just like five years ago when she used cigarette-shaped candles on his five-year anniversary cake. "Cigarette candles! How did she come up with such things." He thinks to himself. He tilts his head backward, eyes closed, letting the smoke exit his nostrils slowly. The wind on his face is hot and stifling, bringing with it the smell of smoke and burned flesh that still permeates the atmosphere. Ash, embers and burned paper are flying all around him tangling in his hair. Looking down now he can see what is left of Aldea. The city is dead. No more bright streetlights polluting the night sky. No more giant screens advertising perfumes and luxurious jewelry or asking you to donate money to hungry children across the globe. No more cars with their horns and their wheels against the asphalt. Nothing. Everything is dark, quite and still. The only light still visible, is coming from the leftover fires still smoldering here and there all around the eastern side. He is sitting alone on the roof's parapet, feet dangling, the only survivor left of the group that set out for the rooftop of "Nova Haven Luxury Suites" after the bombs started falling. A history professor had argued that they would be safer there, on the rooftop of the tallest building left standing. But he is dead now. Just like everyone else. Just like he will soon too be dead. "Guess it doesn't really matter where I stand now. There’s no escaping this. The stuff is everywhere". He mumbles between drags. He tries to stand up but the dizziness and nausea won’t let him. He can feel his fever getting worse too. He sits down again, thinking. What he can’t wrap his head around is how fast everything had happened. How instantaneously a whole city, a whole population can vanish, leaving nothing but vague trails of their existence and burned shadows on the walls. When he woke up two days ago, he had the exact same thought he had been having every morning since he became an adult. "If only the world could end, then I wouldn't have to wake up and go to work". And then the bombs started falling without a warning. No one saw them coming. Not even those astute guys from the Southern Intelligence Unit who spend their whole lives collecting information on local citizens to protect the nation from foreign threats. And now with the horrifying screams still in his ears, with the smell of death all around him and the stars brighter than ever above his head, he searches in his heart for that freedom and relaxation that he imagined the end of the world would bring but he finds only terror. Terror and grief. All he hopes now is to see the sun rise. He doesn't remember when he saw it for the last time. Perhaps when he was ten and his father had taken him fishing against his will. "Father-Son bonding" he had called it. But he wont see the sun rise. In the next few hours, his hair, already thinning will have fallen completely. His bruised, red skin will be filled with open sores and ulcers. And If there will be anyone left to find him, they will encounter a shriveled, disfigured body with dried blood all around its mouth and nose.
   
2. “Hey there, Molly! What’s up girl? Still coming up empty handed, I see?” Danny's voice rang out through the waiting room as he strolled in. He cast a quick glance at the new guy by the corridor, twiddling and clutching a hunk of stale bread. “Your turn chump!”. The new guy sprang up with a jolt, and vanished through the dark corridor from which Danny had just emerged squeezing the piece of bread against his chest.
   

Danny wore his smile again and turned back to Molly “You know you should really consider teaming up with someone. It’d make your life a hell of a lot easier you know. But ah, I forget. No one could match up to Miles eh? Miles and Molly. The golden duo. Those were the days no?”
Molly draw her snout and her whiskers twitched as she lifted her shoulders before dropping them again. She made no reply.
“Careful now. I hear this is your third empty-handed visit right? Man, I’m so sorry. I really am you know. Being demoted to sewer-patrol uff!”
With eyes glued at the muddy wall in front of her, Molly allowed him to prattle on without making a sound. Let him talk. What the hell does he know in any case?
“Hit the jackpot this week, I did. Guess what I stumbled upon two days back.”
Still staring vacantly at the wall in front of her Molly whispered “I don’t know. Trouble?”
“Always the joker. Well, I found blueberries! Can you believe it? Mr Ernie says I’m on the fast track to a promotion. And here I thought you and Miles would beat me to it.”
She turned her gaze toward him and tilting her head to one side, narrowed her eyes without making a sound.
“And Jonny scored ham! Real, fresh ham Molly! And the other day, Benny found a warehouse by the docks...I tell you girl, you should really team up with someone. That is, if it’s not too late already. Besides, Miles is gone. Just let him go. But man... I’m so sorry you know.”
The hair on Molly’s back raised, her ears flexed and all she wanted was to wipe that stupid smile of his off of his face. But her body was frozen solid. Only her back paws were now fidgeting against the soggy ground.
“Anyways.That’s life for ya Toodles!”
Alone in the waiting room, her thoughts caught up with her. Those were the days indeed. What a team they made! Molly and Miles. Miles and Molly. Not a single day went by without some exquisite find. They could uncover anything. Anything! The pride of the tribe, envied by all the foragers. That is, Miles was. She was just lucky to be his partner and his friend. She was never as good as Miles. He was smart, fast, strong and he could sniff out food from miles away. Always knew the best way to get it too..Despite his seemingly swallow and boisterous personality, he was serious-minded. Always had a plan, the best plan. While she felt she was just along for the ride. And the day she thought she could finally prove herself to Miles by stumbling across this god-damned chunk of peanut butter. What a fool she had been. She still remembered everything. How he pushes her away and fells in the trap instead of her. How she tries to free him. How they can hear the humans approaching. How scared she feels. How Miles calls after her, pleading her to help him. How she leaves him and runs. The next day she goes back for him but the trap is empty. She finds Miles’ dead body in the trash can nearby.
“Mr Ernie says you can pass now, Miss”. The new guys voice pulled her out of her thoughts. She got up and quickly made her way through the damp corridor to the overseer’s office. "No demotion this time. A warning will suffice for now given the circumstances” Mr Ernie told her.
************************************************************************************************************************
To me they seem a bit cringy and I am not sure how to fix it. I know I tell too much instead of showing especially in the first one. And I think they don't flow naturally. I am also not sure if the dialogue is natural and indicative of the characters' personalities.
(Overlook for now any spelling/grammar mistakes. English is not my first language and I didn't have the chance to correct them grammar-wise yet)
Thank you!

I know any discussion of Paul has been done to death but anytime I see this dude in any comic.
He's straight up written like a sociopath? One minute he's all guilty about "helping" in killing earth, the next he's AGGRESSIVELY defending himself or trying to hide what he did?
Saving kids, and then saying they should abandon them
then they're like "yea they had a beautiful loving life in fucking dead world with 4 people on a collapsing rotting planet that was entirely caused by your fake new husband"
literally forcing a guy who just saved you out of a dimension and grooming his wife while they try and save you... Again.
it's even worse when they get back.
like in #26 he's joking about being violent, then goes on to say he deserved it???
Are you violent Paul? YOU MURDERED YOUR DAD AFTER HELPING HIM COMMIT GENOCIDE
Paul is written like a VILLAIN*,* like a sociopath who's constantly switching between emotional states of guilt and not a giving a shit about anything he did....
Constant thoughts of violence and extreme irrational justification of his actions and behavior
Even the concept of what he did on dead earth is fucking insane to any normal human.
He straight up fucking groomed Mary Jane into defending him! by the time they're back, Mary Jane is so brainwashed by neo-hitler over here that she's trying to relate
A 15 YEAR OLD WITNESSING THE MURDER OF HIS UNCLE IN COLD BLOOD
to
Guy in his 30s claiming he "didn't know what they were doing" when he committed global genocide with his fucking nazi dad!?!?
And guess what? After Peter rightfully calls out paul for aiding and defending his place in global genocide? PAUL ASSAULTS HIM, HE ASSAULTS WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY A STRANGER WHO SAVED YOU. Paul is a complete sociopath. This is how you write a villain, not a hero???
Villains react violently when you call them out on their behavior, they become irrational and do irrational things, LIKE GROOM SOMEBODY'S WIFE AND NOT SEE WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT.
to get back on Mary Jane being groomed, and I mean that, I use that term sincerely.
This story is so egregiously fucked. If you go back to the moment right after peter left, MJ want's nothing to do with Paul at all, there's zero attraction between them, she literally HITS HIM.
And how does Paul react to being hit in this dire and depressing situation? Not at all, he just carries on with no emotion LIKE A FUCKING SOCIOPATH.
He then spent years grooming her romantically before revealing he's hitler's kid to soften the blow... If you look back, he literally WAITED TILL THEY HAD KIDS, FOR YEARS, UNTIL HE TOLD HER HIS INVOLVEMENT
This is just the tip of the iceberg honestly, the more you read the worse it gets, the concept behind this character is INSANE, everybody knows that but jesus...
He REALLY is written like he's supposed to be a supervillain.
^{Not even gonna touch on how much of a complete abomination MJ's writing is, both in ASM and Jackpot.
Just completely doing the opposite of what any normal sane human would do in a situation like that
"Oh? The guy you've been stuck with for 3+ years who's been FUCKING you is now admitting he's the reason for all of this. The reason your husband is gone, for all you know he may have been lying the entire time and killed Peter with that machine you don't understand, is admitting to have committed global genocide, KILLING HIS DAD, has acted like a complete sociopath since we got here, barely cares about what he did, enough to wait 3+ years to even talk about it, has now stuck you with 2 RANDOM children who keep talking about "scribble men" and complete nonsense, and oh yea, just the circle back, IS THE SOLE REASON YOU'RE IN THIS SITUATION, THE REASON YOUR LIFE BECAME THIS WAS BECAUSE OF HIM"}
"I guess let's get married"
Bravo Zebb Wells, Truly ONE OF the writers of our time.

This will be quite a lengthy read because I'm laying out everything to get honest opinions with all the context. There's a TLDR at the end for those who'd rather skip the backstory. I know that most people go incognito with a throwaway account for this kind of post. But I wanted this to be authentic, using my real account. I didn't want anyone to think this was disingenuous. If we know each other in real life or you find me on my other socials, let's keep our chats here or in PMs. I don't want anyone harassing anybody, and I have a sixteen-year-old daughter who has been spared this drama so far.
I tied the knot shortly after high school, and let's just say, if my marriage were a collegiate course, it would be "F*** Up - 101." It was a masterclass in what not to do, featuring every red flag in the book. I was fresh-faced and barely off on my life journey, thinking I'd hit the jackpot. I'd assumed I'd accomplished what my parents did, that being the poster couple for marital bliss. I was so naive, always giving the benefit of the doubt. Meanwhile, my then-wife, fresh from escaping her parental fortress of solitude, went bat s*** crazy, deciding that 'living life to the fullest' didn't include me in the picture.
Before I knew it, I was Mr. Mom with our toddler while she was trapped underneath a few individuals, making up for lost time. After finally catching her in the act, I filed for a divorce and braced for the impact. Divorcing in '97 in the heart of the bible belt was not favorable towards the husband back then. What followed was straight out of a horror movie. I paid my attorney five thousand dollars to watch her take everything from my guitars and video games. She even claimed keepsakes from a departed relative, and the judge seemed happy to grant her every wish. Not only did I bid farewell to everything I owned, but my time with my son got slashed to a mere Wednesday afternoon and alternating weekends.
My faith in women was broken. I went on a few dates here and there but mostly kept it to casual encounters and dinners. I never let anyone get too close. But, in early 1999, at a friend's birthday party, I met a woman whose marriage had crashed harder than mine. She'd had a stillbirth six months into her pregnancy, and her husband dared to bring his girlfriend to the funeral. She was heartbroken, to say the least, to learn about her husband's affair and the end of her marriage on the day they laid her daughter to rest. We sat on a couch that night, swapping tales of romantic ruin. She was clever, and to me, that is an instant connection. It's rare for me to find someone who makes me laugh instead of vice versa. As I headed home, I couldn't shake her from my thoughts, kicking myself for not asking for her number.
The next, my phone rang, and it was her! She'd gotten my phone number from someone we both knew and asked: "Would you like to get food sometime?" I said, "Now sounds great!" So, I drove to her grandmother's house, and off we went on what turned out to be what I still consider the perfect date. Now, I get it; we were both lonely and had our hearts broken, but trust me, this was no spark; it was an inferno. And believe it or not, we've been inseparable since that day. We have not spent a night apart. That was twenty-five years ago, with us marrying a year after our meeting. Go ahead and facepalm, I know how it sounds, but it's hard to put the connection between us into words. Even I'm still shaking my head in disbelief.
Our families adored the two of us together. I was certain I had found my soulmate, if you believe in that, and I was certain she felt the same. We enjoyed each other's company, and our lives meshed perfectly. As with life, however, it finds those moments of bliss to take a giant s*** on you. In 2006, I began feeling ill; eating resulted in violent illness, which I initially thought was a virus. But after a week with no improvement, it was clear this was something else. I was admitted to the local hospital and underwent numerous tests. When I was first admitted, I weighed 222 pounds at a height of 6'2". Within a year, I had dropped to 146 pounds, and my condition dumbfounded the doctors. My health was deteriorating rapidly. Throughout the ordeal, she never left my side, her hand in mine, begging me not to leave her.
In late 2007, a last-ditch effort sent me to the Cleveland Clinic, where a young doctor rushed me into surgery. When I awoke three hours later, she was there, hand in mine, with a smile. It was a success; I was cured. While I'll spare you the details, it involved my colon. Finally, I could eat and move without agony. My life resumed, and we were happy again. The following year, she received a lucrative job offer in her field, earning more than I did. That didn't bother me at all; she worked hard, and she'd earned it.
After her miscarriage, my wife was unable to conceive. We had been trying since 2000 and eventually came to terms with the fact that it might not happen. In 2010, we got a call from the state of Minnesota about a two-year-old girl who had been taken from her mother due to drug-related charges. They asked if we would consider adopting her because the mother had requested she be placed with family members before her parental rights were terminated. My wife and I drove for 30 hours to meet her, and after a few months, we adopted her and welcomed her into our home.
Our daughter faced social challenges and had endured abuse, leading the two of us to decide one of us needed to be at home with her. As mentioned, my wife earned significantly more, so it made sense for me to be the one to step into the role. I dedicated each day to supporting our daughter's mental health. While I played a part, I can't claim all the credit for this; her preschool, kindergarten, and therapist were instrumental in her learning to socialize and trust again. Eventually, I took up freelance journalism, so I was home when our little one finished her school day.
Our evenings were family time, and we took small trips on weekends. It was in 2017 that my wife returned from work one evening, deeply shaken by what she told me was a workplace argument. Despite my attempts to console her, she remained incorrigible. She was declaring her intent to find a new job. She'd never had any issues before, so I was stunned. For days, she was a mess and withdrawn. When I pressed for details, she'd say, "It would only upset you. Let me deal with it."
True to her word, she left for a new company within a week, accepting a 15 percent reduction in pay. I should have questioned it then, but she never gave me cause for concern. Once she began her new role, life returned to normal, and our family happily moved forward. In 2022, I published my first novel with an independent publisher, fulfilling a lifelong dream. I could sense the pride emanating from both my wife and daughter. I had achieved this milestone before my fiftieth birthday, and I couldn't wait to start on my second one.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, this is where my world breaks. In 2023, as I was finishing up my new novel, my twenty-seven-year-old son from my first marriage died suddenly of a heart attack. He had an underlying condition that none of us knew about. I want everyone to understand that when you say, "I couldn't imagine my child dying," you truly can't. There is no pain quite like it. My wife and daughter, who also felt his loss deeply, did their best to support me. But there is no way to deal with such a tragedy. In the months following his death, I immersed myself in my work, striving to complete my second book for him.
On the day I finished it in January, my father passed away after a long battle. Dad had been ill for a long time. You think you can prepare yourself for that, but that's a lie you tell yourself. The loss was hard, and my daughter was instrumental in getting me back on my feet. My second book was released in February, and I tried to smile as I had my release party. At the beginning of April, I started feeling better, writing outlines for my third novel and doing the same things I'd always done with my wife and daughter.
My wife and I have a Wednesday tradition where she picks a random recipe she finds online, and we cook it together. On April 3rd, while making crockpot chicken tacos, I thanked her for everything. She asked why, and I thanked her for everything she'd done to get me through the tough times. I shared a lot of pent-up emotions, telling her I couldn't have managed without her. She started crying, then weeping, and soon she was sobbing uncontrollably. I tried to comfort her with a hug, but she pushed me away. I apologized, not realizing my words would stir such a reaction.
Suddenly, she confesses her infidelity. I laughed, mistaking it for a joke. She grabs my shoulders and then details how, back in 2017, a 28-year-old at her former job started flirting with her, and she reciprocated. She believed it was innocent, yet it persisted. My wife has always feared growing old. Her birthdays were days she dreaded every year. She admitted that the attention from a younger man was exhilarating. She told me that turning 40 had sent her into a tailspin and that she couldn't talk to me about it because I would have just shrugged it off.
He invited her to leave work early and come to his place one day. She couldn't understand why she chose to; maybe it was the thrill. She said she didn't know, but she went and ended up sleeping with him. Afterward, she felt terrible, glaring at her keychain in his driveway because it had a photo of me holding our daughter. She drove home, and that's when she lied about having a workplace argument. She never wanted to return there. It's why she suddenly went somewhere else. She then told me she wanted to tell me but didn't have the fortitude to do it.
I remained silent, just wide-eyed and open-mouthed. She apologized, saying she couldn't live with it any longer. I just shook my head, unable to speak a single word. She offered to leave if that's what I wanted, to attend counseling, or even to beg for my forgiveness. Instead, I picked up my AirPods and phone and walked out. I wandered from six in the evening until almost eleven that night. When I returned, she was on the loveseat, asking if I was ready to talk. I shook my head again, went to my office, where I had a couch, and slept there.
The next day, after our daughter left for school, she asked if I had anything to say. I said yes. I questioned why she brought this up after the worst year of my life. Why couldn't she have kept it to herself until I could somewhat deal with something of this magnitude? She just looked away. I scoffed and told her to go to work and to try not to f*** anyone during her lunch break. That would have been April 4th; those were the last words I said to her until last night.
She had attempted to talk to me several times, but I would just walk past her into my office, trying to focus on my upcoming science fiction comedy book. Writing something funny is challenging when the thought of your spouse rolling around with another man stuck in her consumes your thoughts. A week ago, my daughter asked in the car if everything was okay, and I lied to her, which made me feel sick. Then, last night, my wife came to the office door and asked, "Are we getting a divorce?" I looked at her and replied, "Looks like it." She started crying and closed the door.
I haven't consulted an attorney, and the thought of divorce hadn't crossed my mind until she mentioned it. That's why I wrote this essay. Where do I go from here? How do I start to untangle this mess? I have no desire for therapy. I don't even want to step outside. I'm broken at this moment. The burden of everything has been overwhelming. There's been so much to bear this past year. What do you say to someone who has been by your side through it all, only to tear your heart apart?
Thank you for reading to the end. And for those who are part of the TLDR crowd, my wife decided to go home with a younger man, felt guilty about it, and quit her job. She waited eight years to tell me about it.