Why is every 3rd swipe on Bumble an OF model promoting her OF page?
I mean they don’t even sometimes explicitly mention on their profile but get flirty and plan to hookup and when everything is set, she reveals that she is an OF model. Like literally WTF bro!
For example- I matched with this girl and she was an actual 10/10. I couldn’t believe how good the conversation was flowing. Then we made plans to hookup and so I booked a five star hotel. Then she tells me “hey can we record our act?”. I told her maybe not a good idea now since we are practically strangers but maybe later down the lane. Then she reveals she’s an OF model and wants to feature me on her OF page and I should be grateful that she chose me amongst 1000s from her dms. Ohh did I tell you- I won’t be getting any copy of this video and this video is her property and she can use it as she wants. How can some girls be so delulu?!
Anyway, so now the video is being sold for $7. Dm me for link and $2 discount code.

Are there any atheists out there who've read this? I'm loving the book. Tearing through the pages like I haven't in years. I just got introduced to Abagail, and it's a struggle for me. Please don't get me wrong. I knew going into this it was a good vs evil story of a biblical nature. It was just a lot at once.
In regard to women on The Pill: "Abagail knew they what they were missing: the ecstasy which comes when you stand on the lip of the Valley of the Shadow, the ecstasy that comes when you gave yourself up to your man and your God, when you say thy will be done and They will be done; the final ecstasy of sex in the sight of the Lord, when a man and woman relive the old sin of Adam and Eve, only now washed and sanctified on the Blood of the Lamb"
Is this just to help you understand her character and the new direction of the story, or is it going to be this preachy from here on out?

About to negotiate a cost-plus contract to build a sizeable high-end fully custom home.
Our builder is 100% open book. But want to make sure we aren't unnecessarily paying for markup on things that shouldn't be in the book in the first place.
The more I think about it, it seems a cost-plus with stated minimum fee and cap (which would go up woth any material scope changes) may work best for both sides. Is that something people in the industry see?

• Does anyone see / agree to fixed minimum + caps on the cost-plus figure, especially when the fee is large (think $500k+)?

Would let be homeowner self-supply and pay for certain items like fully custom cabinets, appliances, higher end materials choices like specific natural stone sourcing for counters & floors... while ensuring the builder still makes their profit. Would be totally fine paying a fee for any time & cost associated with the builder's need to coordinate delivery and do the install.

• What are the most common carveouts to the cost-plus situation? I've seen things like slab/foundation mentioned but is that normal for a fully custom build?
  
• Landscape design & install will be a large cost but we plan to hire a specific landscape design architect/company we have worked with previously. Maybe there is some fee / reduced markup % on the landscaping to account for the need to coordinate?
  
• Windows & doors we expect to largely work through the builder's sources. Same with functional (recessed) lighting and custom A/V stuff
  
• What about more personal decorative items such as chandeliers & etc.? Very likely most of those are NOT going to be through a 'normal" supplier; owner will be selecting independent of the builder
  

For a number of reasons, our builder is likely willing to get creative in their fee structure. And the goal on my end isn't to save money as much as it is to ensure we feel that we get appropriate value for the price.
If we end up paying an effective 15-18% (vs. quoted 12%) to the builder due to a minimum fee and the owner choosing to take on a lot of materials selection / coordination work from outside the builder's normal suppliers... then so be it.
Would love to hear any thoughts

This is now my third logbook. It helps me to come to terms with the overall situation. That's why I'm doing this. Maybe I should keep my space free for something more important, but as long as I still have room, I won't risk losing the thing that keeps me from losing my mind. Being able to record my thoughts is a great help to my mental health. Similar to a diary, which brings us to the topic at hand.
Ever since the parasite started rampaging through the cities, turning people into cannibalistic monsters under its control, I've stayed away from cities. I focus on looting individual buildings outside the city for supplies. So far I've been able to keep my head above water, even though I've been encountering more parasites recently.
Be that as it may. I've broken into a farmhouse. I found two infected people there. I released them both from their torment. I then searched the house for all kinds of supplies. I found this diary from a Mrs Oshnikov. I found the contents very interesting and I'll just read them out. Please note that I skipped some pages with irrelevant information.
Day: 65
‘These are terrible times, honestly. My father took my sister and drove her to the city to get medical treatment. I stayed here to look after the rest of my family. I want to make sure they're okay. I also taught myself how to shoot a gun. I hope I never have to use those skills, but I'm afraid it's already too late for that.’
Day: 72
‘When I was getting some firewood today, I saw a person in the forest. He was making abnormal noises. This person was infected. For the first time, I saw the parasite take over a person with my own eyes. It doesn't seem to be controlling the host. It seems more like it is using it as an empty protective shell. Parts of his skull were no longer there. Only tentacle-like outgrowths on his head, hands and a few other parts of his body. A sight you won't forget in a hurry. When he noticed me, I shot him in the head. That seemed to be enough to kill him. As you can see, my shooting training paid off.’
Day: 98
‘Our livestock was infected. We had to get rid of all of them. One by one we had to kill them. At least I got to see the infection in its infancy through to complete takeover with my own eyes. Even if I would have liked to have spared myself the sight. They keep talking on the radio about how we should all stay calm. But you don't have to be a doctor to realise that they're lying to us and trying to hide what's really happening. But maybe they don't know any better themselves. The way the parasite is developing, it doesn't seem inconceivable.’
Day: 140
‘My family was infected while I was foraging for supplies in the woods. I try to help them, but when I think that there seems to be no immunity, my hopes are slim. If there's no way around it, I'll redeem them. I won't let them turn into those things.’
Day: 147
‘I am devastated. All of them died. In this house. I don't know what to do. The parasite reached their brains and from then on I had no choice but to kill them. I buried them. I know I have to be strong. But it would be bad enough to lose just one family member. And I've lost them all. So I don't mind my tears. My mother, my father, my sister, my grandmother. They are all dead. How can I go on living after all this? What sense do I have to go on living?’
Day: 177
‘I really struggled with whether to take my own life. After all, I'm alone now. I don't have anyone else. There are no instructions from the government either. They're probably all dead by now or they're hiding somewhere and leaving their people to die. I have decided to give my life meaning. I want to find a cure for this parasite. Which sounds ridiculous, especially since the last emergency centre in Moscow closed down a few weeks ago. So I don't even have a clue where to start. Maybe I should go there to get some information to work with. The doctors will certainly not have stood idly by and documented a few things.’
Day: 189
The emergency centre in Moscow was empty and everything was quiet. Apart from the distant cries of infected people and the wind, you couldn't really hear anything. There was no sign of life in the city. Moscow was dead. Walking through there gave me a very unsettling feeling. In the lab, I encountered a few parasites, which I successfully evaded. I took everything I could find and went back home. With a few samples of the parasite that I took from my family's bodies and the information from the books, I decided to start my experiments. I know it's macabre to dig up the rotting bodies of your own family for something like this but I'm in a very desperate situation. Whoever is reading this other than me, please bear with me.
Day: 201
‘I was able to gain some valuable information about the parasites. They seem to be very intent on involving other living beings in their biological processes. It makes no difference to them whether they are humans or animals. If they are not able to bind humans or animals, the parasites seem to combine into biomass, which in turn acts as a breeding ground for new parasites. This is obviously how they multiply. I have already seen a lot of such biomass in Moscow and in isolated areas of the country. It is moving more and more towards nature and is also infecting wildlife. Sometimes the parasites have even made infected people part of it. I guess it makes sense biologically. I was also able to find out how my family got infected. Apparently the groundwater was contaminated and both my family and our animals drank it. I was already focussing on using canned food because I was worried that something like this could happen.’
Day: 230
‘I'm going to leave this diary here so that anyone who gets lost here will find it and hopefully read it. I'm away at the moment to get a few things. Take whatever you need from the house but please do NOT go to the basement. Your wellbeing and maybe even the wellbeing of humanity depends on it. I was so naive. For God's sake. I felt like I was on the verge of a breakthrough and I didn't stop. And I created something. The cellar door is sealed and it has to stay that way. Otherwise, there's nothing to stop this thing from wiping out all life on the planet. Unless I die trying, I will try to return soon with something that can put an end to it. I'll be back soon.’
This was also the last diary entry. She has apparently not returned since. Judging by all the dust on the diary, she is probably already dead. I'm curious to find out what that is down there. But I don't think I need to go down to the cellar to find out. As if that thing down there in the cellar already knew I was there reading this. I can hear it banging on the doors and trying to spread out in the small room. It makes the whole house shake and lets out the most terrifying bestial roar I've ever heard. If it breaks free, may God protect me and humanity.

Hello!
I traveled with a group of about 41 people last year.
We managed to get car exclusivity on the Lake Shore Limited for Feb 2nd - Feb 4th, and I believe the current cars sit 58 people. Because it was a such a large group, many of whom had never ridden the train before, it was much easier to keep track of everyone in their own car.
We got a really good deal. The booking was made in August of last year.
We want to make this trip a yearly occurrence.
However, the most recent quote we got was $5,000 more expensive than last year's.
My question is, can I talk to anyone about this? I booked several months earlier this year, I thought it would be less expensive, not more.
We had a bus trip for years, but last year we realized (after we got a quote from Amtrak) that we could actually book a train for the group instead.
If we can't get something similarly priced to last year, we'll just go back to being a bus trip, but I'd really love to have us all take the train again.
Can you help me?
Are there travel discounts for groups of 25 or more, or something like that?
Thank you!

Before I start this, I just want to answer some question I know I’ll probably have to answer later, or share some information that might be important.

1. I have gone no contact with him. (He tries to bait me into talking to him.) Only my friend group knows about the alcohol.
   
2. I know for a fact he drinks, I was with him once when he did it.
   
3. It’s not his parent’s fault, he sneaks it from open vodka bottles in their refrigerator.
   
4. I know he is drinking while underage, I plan to report him to the school counselor if he doesn’t seek help.
   
5. We’re both gay, though I do not like him like that in any way shape or form. He swears up and down he doesn’t like me like that either, but take that how you will.
   
6. He has allegedly been drinking since he was 7. I can neither confirm nor deny this.
   
7. He blames all of his problems on the alcohol.
   

I, 16m, was friends with another boy, 15m, for roughly 4 years. We used to call each other every day to play games. Every single day for 4 years. Everything was fine until I started hanging out with our other (mutual) friends.
After I started hanging out with other people, he began to get very jealous and bitter towards me and the friend I was talking to. He would act annoyed and upset whenever I would do things with my other friends, even though it’s the same things I would do with him. This is when the arguing began. He would make snarky comments toward me indirectly through his bio on either a game we play together or the app we use to text and call. He would always deny that it is about me, even if it was blatantly obvious. (For example, I used to give myself nicknames on the game we play together. He combined the starting letter of the 3 I've used and said something along the lines of “ABC gave me everything but real love.”)
We would argue like this and he would come to school like nothing happened and act friendly towards me, even if it was obvious that I didn’t want to act friendly with him. He would also frequently block me for absolutely no reason, and unblock me after a few hours. If I asked for a reason, he would get mad and change the subject. Of course, I got tired of this and blocked him back one day. To nobody’s surprise, the next day at school he was talking to me and making jokes like absolutely nothing happened.
One day, he even decided it would be a great idea to ignore me while I was sitting right next to him. I would talk to him, wave my hand in front of him to get his attention, and even tap his shoulder. No response. I obviously got fed up with him and let my friends know in a group chat that he isn’t in what was going on incase they were curious why either of us were annoyed. (This wasn't the best idea, I know, however he gets mad when I hang out or talk to them differently than I do with him so the most logical thing to do was to not let him know when I hang out or text with them.)
Before this next part, I have to go back a little bit. Because we would play games together, we would log into each other’s account to farm or grind for something the other wants. This lead to him knowing my password and email. Since he saw me typing on my phone, he saw the group chat that doesn’t have him in it. He took that as a sign that I was talking shit about him to our friends (I truly was not.) and decided to try and hack my account. Luckily, I’ve always used a secondary email on the games we play, so he only got my old account.
Not knowing that this happened, I forgave him for everything that he did prior. A few days later, at the end of school before I left, we were talking when he said the name of my secondary account. Of course, I asked how he knew about it, and he said he logged in. I obviously got very angry at him for this, as I had not given him permission whatsoever. I told him I would have showed him my messages had he just simply asked. This caused him to get angry at me for being angry at him. (He also got angry at me when he got the notifications that he had been removed from my email. I also changed my passwords, have no fear.)
After discussing this with our mutual friends, they confirmed that what he did was not okay. Because I was getting more distant from him, he thought that he should buddy up to someone else in our friend group. (He barely speaks to anyone else if he doesn’t have to.) Of course, he chose the one person that he supposedly hates based on past events. (Not my story to share, I apologize.)
(I don’t remember this part all too well so take it with a grain of salt.) After a while, I decided to give him another chance. We had a conversation where I brought up all of the issues I had with him in a few paragraphs. (Mainly stuff about boundaries and respecting me. Also for pulling my hair whenever he got the chance even though I told him multiple times on multiple occasions to stop.) His response was changing the subject to something different, and about me. I promptly him shut down, however, as he was bringing up stuff that I didn’t do, insisting that he at least acknowledges his problems instead of pretending everything is fine. This ultimately lead to him getting angry and ending the conversation with his signature “Okay. Bye.”
He then went back to pretending everything was normal with me, though he was talking shit about me in a group chat with our mutual online friends and one of our real life friends (The one he hated that I mentioned previously.) She would tell me everything he said about me, but she didn’t want to get involved so I couldn’t call him out for any of it. At this point, I was just tired of fighting, so I went with it. Many more minor arguments happened after this. I won’t include details for the sake of this post not being too unbearably long, since what happened was basically the previous fight over and over.
A while later, one of our friends called him out for his shit, as I had been letting them know what was going on for every argument we had. He got really heated over this, and told her to kill herself and that he never valued her as a friend. She gave no shits at all. He was promptly removed, or left on his own, from all of the group chats with her in them except our main server. They had each other blocked, though to nobody’s surprise that didn’t stop him from talking about her or to her in the server.
Though 2 out of 5 people in our friend group wanted nothing to do with him, that didn’t stop him from sitting with us and trying to joke around with us like nothing happened. For a while, everything was fine. I wasn’t talking to him, he wasn’t talking to me. Another fight happened between him and the friend he hated before, but that isn’t my story to tell either, sorry. The only thing I can say about the fight is that he mentioned his alcohol addiction.
One thing lead to another and I decided to give him one last chance. Again. So, I had another conversation with him, letting him know that im serious about unfriending him if he doesn’t talk to his therapist about the alcohol, jealousy, and obsession with me.
I gave him until the end of the week to talk to his therapist, or I’m gone. Everything was fine until the weekend. I went on a trip to Dollywood on the weekend, 4 of my friends being there. He of course did not come on the trip, as he isn’t in the school club that took us. I asked him on Sunday if he had talked to his therapist about anything yet, and he had said no. I rightfully blocked him, just as I said I would. He proceeded to play the victim and started asking our friends what he did wrong, pretending that I hadn’t told him anything about blocking him.
I unblocked him momentarily to send a message on why I did it. I told him blatantly that if he didn’t talk to his therapist I would block him, and he did not. I may have been a little harsh with my words, but keep in mind that I have given him many chances to grow and learn from his mistakes that he has not taken. He needs help, and I can’t help him. I wished him the best, but told him that the best is not something I am capable of giving him.
After I blocked him again, he edited one of his messages to “call me out” for not doing what he wanted. He claims that I should’ve just listened to his issues and tell him everything was fine instead of letting him know that what he’s doing is wrong. He doesn’t want help, he wants someone to ignore his problems. I told him that im not that person and im tired of pretending I am. He proceeded to make his bio things along the lines of “You never actually loved me” once more.
After his numerous attempts at getting me to talk to him by making his bio about me, I got fed up. I confronted him, letting him know that I don’t want to be friends with him, I don’t want anything to do with him, and that he needs to stop talking about me in his bio. He of course pretended his issues didn’t exist, instead telling me that he would get help for real this time. I let him know that he just admitted to not trying to get help the first time, and that in lying to me, he broke my trust in him.
Because I knew he wouldn’t try to get help, I blocked him after saying goodbye once more. This is when he started openly shit talking me and the friend that called him out one single time. He changed his bio to things about my body he knew I was insecure about, such as my forehead. While I admit that this wasn’t the best thing to do, I gave him a taste of his own medicine. He’s a bigger individual, and he’s told me that he’s insecure about his weight.
Again, I apologize for what I said to him, I was angry when I said it. He said I have a sixhead, so I retaliated with seventeen stomach and that he can’t be talking about me when he looks 5 years pregnant. I mean no hate to pregnant people, I was angry at him when I said it. I do not condone rudeness towards plus sized or pregnant individuals. Back to the story.
He made a post on a platform we all use about how he hates Taylor Swift fans, especially the blonde ones. (Ironic when he was talking about how he liked her a while ago. Also, the friend that called him out is blonde and a big Taylor Swift fan.) So, in retaliation, our other, OTHER friend commented the username to his twitter account where he actively reposts nsfw images of gay furries, often depicted as children. I was the only person that knew about it, since he reposted such images and showed them to me in class, to my discomfort. I am usually not one to air out dirty laundry like that, however he had done something similar to me a while back, and I honestly didn’t care how it would make him feel.
I took another page out of his book and edited my message since we had each other blocked, telling him to stop shit talking me in his bio, and that I wanted nothing to do with him. Since that happened, he hasn’t made his bio anything about me, instead changing it to some joke about being 5 years pregnant.
Nobody has told me that what I’ve done was wrong, I just would like to make sure that I’m not in the wrong here. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Welcome to this non-real time meeting of Overeaters Anonymous! I’m oddreaction3943 I’m a compulsive eater and your leader for this meeting. Will those who wish, please join me in the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Overeaters Anonymous is a Fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength, and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating. We welcome everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. There are no dues or fees for members; we are self-supporting through our own contributions, neither soliciting nor accepting outside donations. OA is not affiliated with any public or private organization, political movement, ideology, or religious doctrine; we take no position on outside issues. Our primary purpose is to abstain from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors and to carry the message of recovery through the Twelve Steps of OA to those who still suffer.
Our Invitation to You
The Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous
Abstinence in Overeaters Anonymous is the action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight. Spiritual, emotional, and physical recovery is the result of living the Overeaters Anonymous Twelve Step program.
The OA tools of recovery help us work the Steps and refrain from compulsive overeating. The nine tools are: a plan of eating, sponsorship, meetings, telephone, writing, literature, an action plan, anonymity, and service. For more information, read The Tools of Recovery OA page.
Sponsorship is one of our keys to success. Sponsors are OA members committed to abstinence and to living the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions to the best of their ability. Sponsors share their program up to the level of their experience and strengthen their recovery through this service to others. To find a sponsor, look for someone who has what you want and ask how he or she is achieving it. Will all abstinent sponsors please identify themselves in their post?
According to our Seventh Tradition, we are self-supporting through our own contributions. Our group number is 99038. Please use the group number when making your contribution. As our virtual group currently has no expenses please consider donating directly through this link to the OA World Service Office, who provides resources for OA groups all around the world to carry the message to other compulsive overeaters.
Suggested guidelines for sharing: As you share your experience and strength in OA, please also share your hope. Please confine your sharing to your experience with the disease of compulsive eating, the solution offered by OA, and your own recovery from the disease, rather than just the events of the day or week. When responding to other member’s posts, please focus on your personal experience rather than advice giving. If you are having difficulties, share how you use the program to deal with them. If you need to talk more about your difficulties and seek solutions, we suggest you speak to your sponsor and other members after the meeting.
This is a literature meeting. Today we are studying Book Book Page 12**
My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, “Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?” That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.
Closing By following the Twelve Steps, attending meetings regularly, and using the OA Tools, we are changing our lives. You will find hope and encouragement in Overeaters Anonymous. To the newcomer, we suggest attending at least six different meetings to learn the many ways OA can help you. The opinions expressed here today are those of individual OA members and do not represent OA as a whole. Let us all reach out by private message to newcomers, returning members, and each other. Together we get better.

Welcome to this non-real time meeting of Overeaters Anonymous! I’m oddreaction3943 I’m a compulsive eater and your leader for this meeting. Will those who wish, please join me in the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Overeaters Anonymous is a Fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength, and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating. We welcome everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. There are no dues or fees for members; we are self-supporting through our own contributions, neither soliciting nor accepting outside donations. OA is not affiliated with any public or private organization, political movement, ideology, or religious doctrine; we take no position on outside issues. Our primary purpose is to abstain from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors and to carry the message of recovery through the Twelve Steps of OA to those who still suffer.
Our Invitation to You
The Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous
Abstinence in Overeaters Anonymous is the action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight. Spiritual, emotional, and physical recovery is the result of living the Overeaters Anonymous Twelve Step program.
The OA tools of recovery help us work the Steps and refrain from compulsive overeating. The nine tools are: a plan of eating, sponsorship, meetings, telephone, writing, literature, an action plan, anonymity, and service. For more information, read The Tools of Recovery OA page.
Sponsorship is one of our keys to success. Sponsors are OA members committed to abstinence and to living the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions to the best of their ability. Sponsors share their program up to the level of their experience and strengthen their recovery through this service to others. To find a sponsor, look for someone who has what you want and ask how he or she is achieving it. Will all abstinent sponsors please identify themselves in their post?
According to our Seventh Tradition, we are self-supporting through our own contributions. Our group number is 99038. Please use the group number when making your contribution. As our virtual group currently has no expenses please consider donating directly through this link to the OA World Service Office, who provides resources for OA groups all around the world to carry the message to other compulsive overeaters.
Suggested guidelines for sharing: As you share your experience and strength in OA, please also share your hope. Please confine your sharing to your experience with the disease of compulsive eating, the solution offered by OA, and your own recovery from the disease, rather than just the events of the day or week. When responding to other member’s posts, please focus on your personal experience rather than advice giving. If you are having difficulties, share how you use the program to deal with them. If you need to talk more about your difficulties and seek solutions, we suggest you speak to your sponsor and other members after the meeting.
This is a literature meeting. Today we are studying Book Book Page 12** Bill’s story
My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said “Why don’t you choose your own conception of God? That statement hit me hard. It melted my icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.
Closing By following the Twelve Steps, attending meetings regularly, and using the OA Tools, we are changing our lives. You will find hope and encouragement in Overeaters Anonymous. To the newcomer, we suggest attending at least six different meetings to learn the many ways OA can help you. The opinions expressed here today are those of individual OA members and do not represent OA as a whole. Let us all reach out by private message to newcomers, returning members, and each other. Together we get better.

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I run two groups, one in person, the other on Foundry, both on PF2e.
The Foundry group is comprised of players from a DnD campaign I've run on and off for a couple of years plus a few people I met at work. This group includes two of my best friends who live in other states, and the husband of my wife's best friend's husband. This will be referred to a the VG (Virtual Group). I run a pre-made foundry module, so there is basically no prep outside of reading the adventure and making sure I've got the story straight and work everyone's hook into it. Despite the ease of running in Foundry, This is my more stressful group.
The In-person group is a collection of guys I did not know but met through a local dad group and Reddit. All are fathers (I wanted folks who 'get it' when it comes to time management and scheduling). Great group, and will be referred to as IPG (In-person group), and even though the prep is more (drawing maps, selecting the right minis for the session, a lot more book-keeping to track encounters, etc.) This is my less stressful group.
I run these groups on alternating weeks.
Why is the in-person group less stressful? Scheduling. I have set up shared google calendars for people to suggest new sessions if a scheduled session doesn't work for them. This is because trying to pick and match dates from group texts or discord chats is time and labor intensive on top of everything else i do for the games.
A Case Study:
VG had a bunch of issues with this week's schedule. I asked everyone to put dates that work for them in the calendar so i can see what works for a quorum. I got 2 out of 6 players to do that. Everyone else, despite me literally saying 'do not respond by text, please use the calendar' - tried to text me dates. Basically, nothing this week worked, i had to confirm by text (which, again - I STRONGLY AND CLEARLY STATED I would rather not have to do). So, reschedule for next week was eventually confirmed, but took 12 hours of texting communication. I also have two people who i have to hound to respond and confirm dates - despite me being very clear almost every other week i need communication to improve on their end if they want to play because it makes it easier for me to plan with my family.
I asked IPG, a group of 5 people, if they would have any interest in meeting this week since next week was rough for a few of them. I had something rescheduled for the NEXT DAY with confirmation from every member within 5 hours. They responded quickly and clearly and confirmed the plans with their partners and families as soon as they were available.
I am really considering just letting the VG fade away - a couple of my closest friends are in the group, but organizing the game feels like more of a chore and TBH, I simply prefer to play with the group of guys I've only known a few months. They write excellent characters with good motivations and backstories. They make an actual effort to RP consistently, they work well as a team. I get VERY VERY little of that from the VG despite a few of those players being decidedly more experienced in the table-top space. IPG guys wrote character backgrounds that were so thorough and based on the campaign players guide that i literally did not need to write any of them hooks, they inserted themselves into the setting and campaign almost seamlessly. They straight up read the Lost Omens guide sections relevant to their characters for deeper lore.
When VG group was asked if they bothered to read a 10 page players guide (With lots of pictures) for their setting everyone chuckled and acted like it was a ridiculous ask.
So yeah, part rant, part 'teachable moment' for players who love to play - please listen to your GM when they ask for better communication, to use scheduling tools, and suggest you read about the setting or world before you build a character.

I’m looking for advice with what to do with my wedding photographewhat is legal and allowed. Backstory - We are getting married in a few weeks in Ontario, Canada. Our friends used the photographer we hired for our wedding and they highly recommended her - she is from out of our area so I’ll need to pay her a travel fee. No one in my area does photography like hers and she was also more affordable than local ones (approx 1500-3000 cheaper). We originally hired her with a second photographer (provided by her) which would total approximately $5300 for 8 hours of coverage for both. She told me I’d need to pay an extra travel fee if I wanted one to leave early/work for less time. Rearranging our itinerary and wedding day, we came to the conclusion that we could use our one photographer for 11 hours instead and it would end up getting us more coverage and would be cheaper based on the pricing she originally sent. I notified her of the change and that we wouldn’t be needing two photographers since it didn’t make sense and I couldn’t justify the price of both for 11 hours. (She previously informed me that her husband is her second shooter) she told me she was out a $300 deposit on her second shooter since I cancelled one - this felt like a lie since her husband is her second shooter. She then quoted me $5700 for the new contract ($900 more than it should’ve been based on her previous pricing). Included in her contract, she requires a 45 minute break OR dinner at the wedding which we are absolutely fine providing. I sent her our wedding day timeline and she responded that she will need extra breaks to pump 4x20minutes each time. One happens to be at the most inconvenient time. I am fine with pumping but I feel it’s unfair to charge me extra when she will be taking extra time to do these things? Do we need to pay her during this time legally?
On top of this, her contract comes with a complimentary engagement session - she moved our photo session date due to illness and booked us for 6 weeks out from our original booked session ~ meanwhile has been doing photography sessions for other people. Normally I wouldn’t mind but we are super close to our wedding date and still haven’t done our engagement sessions - photos I need for the wedding day.
I guess the advice I’m looking for is: do we need to pay for the time she’s using for personal reasons on top of providing a paid break and is it within a contract to increase my price after already giving a deposit? Regardless if we changed amount of time or number of photographers? I am so stressed out and I’m not sure if I should ask for my money back (doubtful) or take the L and hire someone else?? Thank you all

I need to know what I can do. I’m stressing out like many others on this page.
I signed up for summer courses to catch up and get prepared for fall 2024. Quick backstory I took 10 years off from pursuing any higher education because I had series of unfortunate life events.
I did my advising for summer 2024 way back in April. This includes both academic and financial aid. I asked both advisors about summer aid. I was told by my academic advisor “well my wife does get it, so I would recommend following up with the financial aid dept.” I made an appointment with my financial aid office for the following day. My financial aid advisor was notified I was taking 10 credit hours. Finally, I got my award letter. I did not qualify for my scholarship which covers all of my tuition.
Only after researching about my scholarship did I find out “Summer aid may be available for qualified students who enroll not more than nine credit hours in the summer semester. Funding is not guaranteed.”
I feel heartbroken. Why was I not given this information when speaking with my financial aid advisor? Or with my academic advisor? Any advice on what I can do?
My Pell grant was sent to the school already. It was included in my award letter but it does not cover books and tuition. My student loan option for the summer semester has not updated either. I’m really at a loss for words.

Pitch
Recruiting 4 Sorcerers (Magic not from entity or study) Only;

• Willing to deeply homebrew characters
• Three sessions -> Campaign for good fit
• Su@12p-4p EST

Thou were not born of thy own choosing
Whence you grieve, cry, or laugh
Tis as if you bring tragedy, rain or sunlight
Unexplained happenings follow you
And if anyone knows what you really are
They will kill you ..
Hide yourself, and silence your heart
Hunters seek those like you for in this world
.. You are monsters
Our story begins with the plights of your characters and how they were able to overcome them .. Or how they were succumbed to
You discover the nature of your afflictions .. And now you must survive
The world hunts sorcerers like dogs hunt confused and lost birds
But if a lost bird lives long enough to be found. It may spread it's wings and fly
Good luck
Introduction
Hello, my name is Inkh-Su (인수). I have been roleplaying since 2009 and started playing D&D 2018. I am hoping that you will be interested in my homebrew world of Myhrr. It is a work of consistent passion. I have passed 50 pages of content and have handcrafted over 30 explorable cities, tile-by-tile.
Myhrr is a living world developed by the DM, and a story lead by the players.
I prefer players who want to emotionally invest in NPCs, their party members, and their own characters. My aim is to naturally draw characters together into an interweaving story of relationships, action, and heroism.
My five main inspirations are The Books of Magic, Berserk, Merlin, Odin Sphere & The Last Unicorn.
I adhere to rules that maximize your exploration and sense of curiosity. I don't try to predict players, I just adapt to their actions. I study player strengths & weaknesses to spotlight them and write a balanced story. Depending on backstory, I grant geographical, social, and historical information.
Much of the world is a medieval, war-torn, feudalist place that has just found a respite from war. Power wavers with uncertainty, under the constant threat that war will return. Nobles attempt to secure peace alongside bloodstained battlegrounds. Royalty seizes power by sword, flame, accusation and subterfuge.
Whilst the faith in currency is unshaken, Trade is unstable. Promises are rare. The hunt of witches, warlocks, wizards and druids is ceaseless in a war against the unholy forces of magic and devilry.
Myhrr is plagued with economic inequality and xenophobia. Whilst half-orcs, tieflings, and goblins are capable of citizenship they are treated as second class citizens. Faced with the constant truths of their loathsome origins, demonic history, and biological differences they find little respite among other races.
Where half/elves are constantly bombarded with opportunity, these marginalized races find none.
Dungeons in the world are difficult to find. One requires research of the hundreds of books in the world, or a quick tongue and a fast blade, to take such information. Yet there are riches, power, and secrets hidden away behind the abominations of the deep and the traps that lay within. Those who seek answers in the hidden places of the world are at true risk of death or worse.
Think fast or die, traps don't wait and neither do monsters.
The core of every event lies a mystery. A quandary of history, social intrigue and chasing after evidence. Ancient secrets, political dealings, and criminal ones. The world's history is extensive but only a player who wishes to know the lore of the world will discover it.
One of the things I'm proud of in my game are its people. I've been roleplaying for over a decade and believe that every NPC will have more depth than any player will care about. Ingrained into the world and its culture; they have fears, desires and interact with an intelligence befitting of their environment.
Magic comes with a constant emotional and social contract. Only four classes are considered magical. Sorcerer, Druid, Warlock, and Wizard. All other classes use non-magical flavored versions of their spells. Each class uses magic uniquely, yet none of it is as reliable as sword or bow. Magic, no matter it's origin, has a will of its own.
Most cultures believe sorcery, druidry, and wizardry to be witchcraft.
Sorcerers do not have control over their innate power without having control over their own hearts. Druids must build a true relationship with nature and balance. Warlocks are required to debate and negotiate with cruel devils. Wizards are mysterious and grow in power as they follow a path of wonder.
The world has several holidays and I'd love to watch your character celebrate too.
Finally, the game is played with a flowing system of time. Time moves regardless of what your character is or isn't doing. Players who act quickly, describe their actions, act their dialogue and invest their hearts will quickly find themselves escaping the arm of mere RAW rules and mechanics.
I am rewarded by players who will sit after a game and theorize about NPCs, History and Intentions and have plans on how they want to act on the world. Reactive players are alright, but players who develop a judgment and work to act on that judgment are rewarded.
I am also rewarded by characters who act on and with emotionality to NPCs and with each other. My favorite moments are listening to the building moment of character clashes and support when they make discoveries that reveal pieces of themselves and each other.
World:

• Five Deities are confirmed fact
• One gold crown can buy a farm
• Literacy is rare and valuable
• Magic is feared, for it is fearful
• Xenophobia is alive and strong
• Guilty until proven popular is justice
• Evil is real, Orcs, Warlocks and Devils are Evil
• Printing Press is not yet invented

Game:

• Low Fantasy, a medieval setting with few magical elements
• Start Lv1
• LGBTQQIP2SAA friendly
• Session 0 required
• 4hr minimum sessions
• Available Races: Human, Elf, Half-Elf, Dwarf, Half-Dwarf, Dragonborn, Half-Orc, Halfling, Tiefling, Kenku, Goblin, Leonin, Minotaur
• Available Classes: Sorcerer
• VTT: Web-based
• Required: Chrome/Firefox + Discord + DNDBeyond + Microphone + Headphones
• Schedule: Su@12p-4p EST
• Game Start: As players are ready
• DM calls DCs && Open rolls

Table Culture:

• Roleplay & immersion heavy
• Mature, supportive & collaborative play is required to join

If you're interested:
Send me a chat with

• Age / Pronouns / Timezone
• A general character personality & motivation pitch
• An activity your character would initiate with a party
• In your opinion, what makes a good/bad playeDM
• What is your opinion of Magic in a setting where it’s demonized ?
• What does Magic mean to you ?
• Describe when you’ve connected with another party member
• Describe an example of environmental creative problem solving
• Does your character create ? If so, how are they creative ?
• What emotional state does your character often find themselves ?
• Discord handle

Looking forward to hearing from you : ]

In this edition of “Odd Titanica”, we are going to dive into the sleazy, opportunistic world of show business. A world that comedian Fred Allen said of, “you can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly, and still have room for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart”. Hyperbolic? Let’s take a look at Hollywood’s response to the Titanic disaster to see that there really is no business like show business.
Dorothy Gibson and the lost, first, film are well worn trivia by now. The traumatized actress rushed into production, her inability to process her trauma causing her mental breakdown, collapse, and retirement from acting immediately after the film was finished - it’s a perfect story to demonstrate the callousness of the film industry. But there is more to the story, and digging deeper shows us that “Saved” may have been the least sleazy project undertaken by the studios.
Dorothy’s account of the sinking and the suffering she endured filming “Saved from the Titanic” are predominantly found in two sources - The New York Dramatic Mirror and Moving Picture World. These were trade magazines, published weekly, and consisting solely of material related to the stage and screen business. These would be announcements of upcoming features, casting news, celebrity gossip, technical news - anything the movie star to the man sweeping the floor at the cinema needed to know. And they included ads … lots and lots of ads.
Immediately realizing that Titanic was not only a horrible tragedy but an incredible business opportunity, Moving Picture World got to work. As people stormed White Star Line offices, and raided newspaper carts for any drop of news regarding the sinking, Moving Picture World provided the latest in Titanic news; or perhaps we should say “Titanic” news.
The headlines of the April 27th issue may have screamed TITANIC, but as the public grabbed their copy and hurriedly flipped through the pages, they found that what they were actually given was ads. Those eye grabbing headlines were followed by much smaller print-
TITANIC EFFORTS... are being exerted by Champion to put before the exhibitors that will make them regular Champ Patrons! Get the following latest [releases] and you’ll be convinced!.
UNSINKABLE … is the reputation of Rep productions, but these two releases will sink into the minds of everyone who sees them and will remain there as worthy object lessons.
THE CRY OF THE CHILDREN …suggested by the poem of Elizabeth Barret Browning in 2 reels this Tuesday!
THE GREATEST MOTION PICTURE OF NATIONAL INTEREST - THE SINKING OF…. the big battleship. Remember the Maine!
THE DEATH SHIP...a sensational two reel drama of the sea containing one of the most thrilling dynamite explosions imaginable!
For all the slimy marketing tricks, flipping through the pages still has plenty of legitimate ads for real Titanic newsreels, movies, and a specific type of presentation known a Myriorama involving painting, music, and recitation. But, show business would strike again - the ads were legitimate, but what they were advertising was not. History has sort of forgotten the huge demand for Titanic media in the wake of the sinking, something that didn’t really exist. When cinema owners would order these “only surviving genuine negatives of the disaster” complete with lobby display package, they instead received-

our astonishment to find the Lusitania and Olympic, and one or two scratch films of ancient days posing as pictures of Titanic.

But they didn’t stop. Animated Weekly advertised that they were “the first to reach the wreck… chartered a tug from Cape Breton and rushed to the scene while the survivors were still in the water”. Cinemas began to promote footage of the sinking. Audiences wrote their disgust to Moving Picture World-

These representations are to the point of criminality … Take, for instance, the picture showing the Titanic with about a sixth of her forward length stuck into the iceberg. Everybody knows the collision did not occur in that manner!

They pointed to the following ad as an example - FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC OCEAN DISASTER. The cinema owners responded by noting that they had misread, crammed in tiny letters were the words “sunk in” so that ad actually read FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC sunk in OCEAN DISASTER. It was the customer's fault, they said, to be stupid enough to think anyone could have actually filmed the sinking.
Once this ruse was discovered, the studios shifted gears. The next step was to advertise film along with presentations by “A Lecturer who was on board”. When the audience realized the lecturer was not on Titanic and demanded a refund - the response from the managers was

Those signs didn’t say he was a survivor.

… and any attempt to charge him with the crime of fraud was absurd because, in his own words-

Of course I didn’t give him his money back. The sign didn’t misrepresent anything. West was on the Titanic, the sign didn’t say when he was.

…which was true. The lecturer, Eugene West, had visited Titanic while she was under construction at Belfast.
As for the movies themselves?

We said we had pictures. If people were foolish enough to think we meant moving pictures, that was their fault.

This particular cheated audience member was told if he wanted his money back, to go on the street and sing for it. Whether it was this, or something else, eventually the public snapped and began hauling out cinema managers and beating them in the streets. By May, the mayors of Boston and Memphis had banned the showing of any Titanic pictures - moving or still- within the city.
But, where was Dorothy in all this? Tucked in the very back of the magazine, after another newsreel ad,, we get to the celebrity sighting and gossip section. Ed Lux of the Rex Film Exchange was in town, Dan Markowitz of Fox Pictures was as well, Arthur Schmidt of the Victor Film Company was seen having a lovely spa at a Turkish Bath, Sam Gobel of the St Louis Motion Picture Company has been walking up and down 42nd street, we don’t know if Southern film maker Henry Wasserman is still here but he might be, Dorothy Gibson survived the sinking of the Titanic, and the Director of Selig Pictures took some actresses to Santa Catalina for a swim and a photoshoot and they had a great time.
By the following edition, on May 2nd, Moving Picture World was also able to provide its readers with the first stills from “Saved from the Titanic” and a feature on Dorothy. Along with this, tucked in the editorials, the magazine finally published a piece of truthful news about the Titanic disaster-

Senator William Alden Smith … declined to grant permission to have the cinematopgraph make a record of the sessions of the committee. “The sessions” he is quoted as saying…”are solemn affairs and must not be hippodromed or commercialized”. He is, however, falling into a serious error in judgement-

…they sniffed.

As a matter of right, the camera man ought to have been permitted. The day of the enfranchisement of the motion picture will surely come .. which will give equal rights to the cinematographer and the newspaper man.

Then, among the illegal false advertising and reports of public brawls at the cinema, they ended with-

The lesson of the Titanic disaster and all its incidents can be made far more impressive by pictures that move than by mere words in cold letters.

One of the biggest challenges in Zen scholarship is connecting the dots between koans, which are historical records in the form of transcripts of real people having real conversations. Where religions and philosophies tend to produce sermons and book long arguments, Zen Masters mostly just answered questions. This leaves the audience to piece together a coherent whole from these koan interviews.

Zhaozhou's Lifestyle

Easily the most beloved Zen Master in human history, Zhaozhou was also famous for his very short answers, often in the form of entendres, often using quotes. Here are two quotes that independently are fine, but together cause some problems:

1. A monk asked, "During the twenty-four hours, how is mind put to use?" The master said, "You are used by the twenty-four hours; I use the twenty-four hours. Which of these 'times' are you talking about?"
   
   • Time spent in the movie theater is not the same as time spent in court pleading innocent to felony charges; those are lifestyle choices.
2. A monk asked, "What is your intention?" The Master said, "There is no method to it."
   
   • "No method" is certainly a lifestyle.

What's the big picture?

Zhaozhou argues that his "using the 24 hours" lifestyle does not depend on methods, at least when you put the Cases side-by-side. Whatever conclusion we draw from this we can of course test, by putting these Cases side-by-side with other Cases from Zhaozhou, or even other Masters.
But what is the result?
Zhaozhou once remarked that the Family Custom in Zen was "having nothing inside, seeking for nothing outside" which strikes me as more of a summary of previous teachings than a teaching. Does that betray a "having" or a "method"?

You make the rules

What's interesting to me is whether people would be willing to embrace this "use the 24 hours" AT THE SAME TIME as "having no method". It seems like these two statements represent opposite poles in modern pop culture, with people either working hard at life or people not having a strategy for anything from paying the bills to education to creative contribution to society.

.

Welcome! ewk comment: What does "no method" look like though when you are so deliberately engaged in everything you do?

In this edition of “Odd Titanica”, we are going to dive into the sleazy, opportunistic world of show business. A world that comedian Fred Allen said of, “you can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly, and still have room for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart”. Hyperbolic? Let’s take a look at Hollywood’s response to the Titanic disaster to see that there really is no business like show business.
Dorothy Gibson and the lost, first, film are well worn trivia by now. The traumatized actress rushed into production, her inability to process her trauma causing her mental breakdown, collapse, and retirement from acting immediately after the film was finished - it’s a perfect story to demonstrate the callousness of the film industry. But there is more to the story, and digging deeper shows us that “Saved” may have been the least sleazy project undertaken by the studios.
Dorothy’s account of the sinking and the suffering she endured filming “Saved from the Titanic” are predominantly found in two sources - The New York Dramatic Mirror and Moving Picture World. These were trade magazines, published weekly, and consisting solely of material related to the stage and screen business. These would be announcements of upcoming features, casting news, celebrity gossip, technical news - anything the movie star to the man sweeping the floor at the cinema needed to know. And they included ads … lots and lots of ads.
Immediately realizing that Titanic was not only a horrible tragedy but an incredible business opportunity, Moving Picture World got to work. As people stormed White Star Line offices, and raided newspaper carts for any drop of news regarding the sinking, Moving Picture World provided the latest in Titanic news; or perhaps we should say “Titanic” news.
The headlines of the April 27th issue may have screamed TITANIC, but as the public grabbed their copy and hurriedly flipped through the pages, they found that what they were actually given was ads. Those eye grabbing headlines were followed by much smaller print-
TITANIC EFFORTS are being exerted by Champion to put before the exhibitors that will make them regular Champ Patrons! Get the following latest [releases] and you’ll be convinced!.
UNSINKABLE … is the reputation of Rep productions, but these two releases will sink into the minds of everyone who sees them and will remain there as worthy object lessons.
THE CRY OF THE CHILDREN …suggested by the poem of Elizabeth Barret Browning in 2 reels this Tuesday!
** THE GREATEST MOTION PICTURE OF NATIONAL INTEREST - THE SINKING OF**…. the big battleship. Remember the Maine!
THE DEATH SHIP...a sensational two reel drama of the sea containing one of the most thrilling dynamite explosions imaginable!
For all the slimy marketing tricks, flipping through the pages still has plenty of legitimate ads for real Titanic newsreels, movies, and a specific type of presentation known a Myriorama involving painting, music, and recitation. But, show business would strike again - the ads were legitimate, but what they were advertising was not.
History has sort of forgotten the huge demand for Titanic media in the wake of the sinking, something that didn’t really exist. When cinema owners would order these “only surviving genuine negatives of the disaster” complete with lobby display package, they instead received-

our astonishment to find the Lusitania and Olympic, and one or two scratch films of ancient days posing as pictures of Titanic.

But they didn’t stop. Animated Weekly advertised that they were “the first to reach the wreck… chartered a tug from Cape Breton and rushed to the scene while the survivors were still in the water”. Cinemas began to promote footage of the sinking. Audiences wrote their disgust to Moving Picture World-

These representations are to the point of criminality … Take, for instance, the picture showing the Titanic with about a sixth of her forward length stuck into the iceberg. Everybody knows the collision did not occur in that manner!

They pointed to the following ad as an example - FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC OCEAN DISASTER. The cinema owners responded by noting that they had misread, crammed in tiny letters were the words “sunk in” so that ad actually read FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC sunk in OCEAN DISASTER. It was the customers fault, they said, to be stupid enough to think anyone could have actually filmed the sinking.
Once this ruse was discovered, the studios shifted gears. The next step was to advertise film along with presentations by “A Lecturer who was on board”. When the audience realized the lecturer was not on Titanic and demanded a refund - the response from the managers was

Those signs didn’t say he was a survivor.

… and any attempt to charge him with the crime of fraud was absurd because, in his own words-

Of course I didn’t give him his money back. The sign didn’t misrepresent anything. West was on the Titanic, the sign didn’t say when he was.

…which was true. The lecturer, Eugene West, had visited Titanic while she was under construction at Belfast.
As for the movies themselves?

We said we had pictures. If people were foolish enough to think we meant moving pictures, that was their fault.

This particular cheated audience member was told if he wanted his money back, to go on the street and sing for it. Whether it was this, or something else, eventually the public snapped and began hauling out cinema managers and beating them in the streets. By May, the mayors of Boston and Memphis had banned the showing of any Titanic pictures - moving or still- within the city.
But, where was Dorothy in all this? Tucked in the very back of the magazine, after another newsreel ad,, we get to the celebrity sighting and gossip section. Ed Lux of the Rex Film Exchange was in town, Dan Markowitz of Fox Pictures was as well, Arthur Schmidt of the Victor Film Company was seen having a lovely spa at a Turkish Bath, Sam Gobel of the St Louis Motion Picture Company has been walking up and down 42nd street, we don’t know if Southern film maker Henry Wasserman is still here but he might be, Dorothy Gibson survived the sinking of the Titanic, and the Director of Selig Pictures took some actresses to Santa Catalina for a swim and a photoshoot and they had a great time.
By the following edition, on May 2nd, Moving Picture World was also able to provide its readers with the first stills from “Saved from the Titanic” and a feature on Dorothy. Along with this, tucked in the editorials, the magazine finally published a piece of truthful news about the Titanic disaster-

Senator William Alden Smith … declined to grant permission to have the cinematopgraph make a record of the sessions of the committee. “The sessions” he is quoted as saying…”are solemn affairs and must not be hippodromed or commercialized”. He is, however, falling into a serious error in judgement-

…they sniffed.

As a matter of right, the camera man ought to have been permitted. The day of the enfranchisement of the motion picture will surely come .. which will give equal rights to the cinematographer and the newspaper man.

Then, among the illegal false advertising and reports of public brawls at the cinema, they ended with-

The lesson of the Titanic disaster and all its incidents can be made far more impressive by pictures that move than by mere words in cold letters.

Welcome to Reading The Big Book of Cyberpunk!
Each week we (u/FarragutCircle and u/fanny_bertram) will be reading 5-ish stories from Jared Shurin’s The Big Book of Cyberpunk, which includes a curated selection of cyberpunk stories written from 1950 to 2022! We’ll include synopses of the stories along with links to any legally available online versions we can find. Feel free to read along with us or just stop by and hear our thoughts about some cyberpunk stories to decide if any of them sound interesting to you.
Every once in a while, we reach out to people who have more insight, due to being fans of the author or have some additional context for the story. (Or we just tricked them into it.) So please welcome u/Kopratic who will be sharing their thoughts on "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale" by Philip K. Dick!
Section 4: Challenge
In our fourth and penultimate section, editor Jared Shurin highlights how cyberpunk looks at technology that creates harm when put into practice, and later cites Marshall McLuhan about artists as challengers. (Shurin really seems to like this McLuhan guy.) Amusingly there’s a footnote where he mentions litrpg in passing, though he says there’s no litrpg in this anthology)
“We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick (published 1966; also available in his collection Selected Stories of Philip K. Dick)
Quail’s desire to go to Mars leads him to a memory-implant company so he can remember going to Mars, but complications and revelations and twists ensue, hilariously.

• Special Guest Kopratic: So this guy really wants to go to Mars, but it’s pretty dang expensive. Fortunately, what’s not as expensive is paying a company to trick him into thinking he’s been to Mars by implanting false memories into his mind. Unfortunately, things go wrong, and before he writes up a scathing Yelp review, he gets his money back, his wife leaving him, and his life falling apart.
• It’s a story I’ve read before. Not this exact, specific story, but the bones of it. Virtually visiting another time or place. It’s never real, but they tend to beg the question: Do memories create reality? Maybe this particular story was one that inspired, even if indirectly, the others. Maybe it’s a trope that had been used before, and the author was just putting his own spin on it like the ones that came after.
• I did like it. I thought that it was annoying how the secretary was described as being topless in practically every scene she was in. It went from, “Oh in this society that’s a normal thing, and body paint is a sort of fashion item” to “...we get it.” It was a minor part of the story at least.
• The twists were pretty good, too. There’s a moment where you start to question things alongside the protagonist. Maybe the false memories did work. He’s not supposed to know they’re fake, but he does. But he also has things that can’t possibly be explained by ways of “implanted memories.” Or maybe they can. Even until the very end, the story keeps you guessing. It did a good job of keeping the tension alive.
• In a sense, the story asks the question, “What is reality?” and fits in nicely as an entry into the realm of cyberpunk.
  
• Farragut’s thoughts: We’ve read Dick before in Science Fiction. Between that story and this, if I hadn’t read two of his novels already, I would’ve thought Dick was a comedic SF writer because of how funny I’ve found his short fiction so far. I vaguely recall (ha!) having seen the movie Total Recall, but I’m not sure PKD has ever had a faithful adaptation of his works. Anyway, this is just a fun story—not as wild as the film, but just a plain fun examination of memory and reality.
  
• fanny’s thoughts: The editor points out that each filming of Total Recall gets worse and this is correct. I had never read the story and I did like it despite it being a story I have seen before. Dick did a great job of making the reader doubt memories and the reality for the character. There are a lot of careful details throughout the short story that play with this concept and add to the general confusion of what is real. The story is not the most amazing thing, but it is very well done and a bit twisty.
  

“Speed” by Misha (1988)
I think that Speed is looking for Speelyi-427 on behalf of a computer AI called Juno 888, but after that I’m lost.

• Farragut: We’ve read Misha before in Science Fiction. She’s a very cyberpunky type author, but I’ll be darned if I understand half of what’s going on here. There’s data as currency, there’s an all powerful computer named Juno 888 (I think?), there’s a car chase with a barbed-wire tripwire at neck level (ouch), there’s indigenous ghost dancers, and I had a hell of a time connecting the dots. It didn’t help that for the first couple pages I didn’t realize Speed was the character’s name, which made the story even more abstract at first. I absolutely know there’s someone out there who loves the crap out of experimental/transcendental stuff like this, but it wasn’t me.
  
• fanny: I was beyond confused reading this one. For half the story I thought the character was the computer, 888, but then I realized it was Speed. I am not sure that helped though. I feel like this was too experimental for me and it just missed the mark. The good part of this was the trading in data and the trying to steal data, which was an interesting technology application.
  

“Computer Friendly” by Eileen Gunn (1989; also available in her collection Stable Strategies and Others)
Elizabeth and other kids are tested, and while she passes with flying covers, her new friends might lose their lives unless she can figure out a way to help them in a world where the heavily computerized future uses real brains from people and dogs.

• Farragut: Gunn is an oft-nominated writer (including for this story), but ended up winning the 2005 Nebula for “Coming to Terms”. I really loved this bizarre future (she’ll play computer fetch with her dog when he has downtime from managing data traffic), and Elizabeth is an adorable character to follow as she navigates the shocking new revelations about her world. The help she gets from some of the obscure entities on the network is perfect, especially when they realize that their current world is a little too predictable these days. Highly recommended, especially for Elizabeth’s “hacking” methods.
  
• fanny: I loved this story and following Elizabeth through it all. Elizabeth is a fierce, determined little girl who doesn't want anything bad to happen to her friends. She goes to extremes for this and gets help from the weirdest sources within the network system. The net system, entities, and the world are so well thought out and carefully crafted. It felt fully realized which is unusual for me to find in a short story. Absolute loved this one.
  

“I Was a Teenage Genetic Engineer” by Nisi Shawl (1989)
The narrator is imprisoned for her reckless genetic engineering, making new incarnations of old gods.

• Farragut: Shawl is a multiple-award-winning author and has done a lot of work on promoting diversity in SF/F. A very short story (under a thousand words), it’s also got a very mythic and poetic tone to it, like a confession as a parable. Very evocative, with lots of classical allusions.
  
• fanny: Such a short story and such a unique concept. I liked that the main character made the entire Pantheon and unleashed the Greek gods back on the world. I found the description of creating Psyche the best part. This story is a bit experimental, but worked for me.
  

“The Gene Drain” by Lewis Shiner (1989)
A generation ship ends up right back on Earth, with disturbing and amusing differences between the two groups.

• Farragut: Shiner was a member of the Turkey City Writer’s Workshop which is considered a “cradle of cyberpunk”. This story was quite amusing, and you can see the differences between the overly-technological humans on Earth and the extremely weird worshippers of Johnny Carson. The author does a great job of encapsulating all the changes since the ship left in little throwaway lines, and the ending was both disturbing and funny.
  
• fanny: I found the whole premise quite ridiculous, but a nice way to show how too much technology can change society. The worshippers of Johnny Carson return to earth and manage to get a leader who has a bad experience with tech. The extremes he is willing to go to is both realistic and slightly disturbing. The ending is amusing, but it is serious too. I like how Shiner balanced absurdity with real society challenges. But also cult of Carson.
  

That’s it for this week! Check back the same time next week where we’ll be reading and discussing "Deep Eddy" by Bruce Sterling, "The Yuletide Cyberpunk Yarn, or Christmas_Eve-117.DIR" by Victor Pelevin, "Wonderama" by Bef, "comp.basilisk FAQ" by David Langford, and "Spider's Nest" by Myra Çakan.
Also posted on Bochord Online.

Hi, David here!
Everyone has flaws and imperfections, either physically or personality wise.
Don’t get hung up on things about yourself which may be unalterable.
Don’t always be trying to overtly hide such flaws. The insecurity shown when trying to hide a fault often comes off as being way less attractive than the actual fault itself.
Obsessively trying to hide a fault highlights a person’s insecurity and shows low self-confidence.
In the cases where the fault could potentially have an impact on your performance, it’s often much more effective to directly address the issue upfront, and call out the elephant in the room as it were.
But for the scenarios where the fault is inconsequential, you could choose to address it instead in a more nonchalant manner. If the fault does not matter to you, why should it matter to other people?
You can joke about your flaws, but do not do so in a self-deprecating kind of way. If you joke about yourself in a self-deprecating kind of way, then you are probably hoping that people will laugh with you instead of just at you. And while perhaps funny, this does not make you look attractive.
However, being able to openly joke about yourself in such a way that you are not simply searching for approval from others, shows that you are truly comfortable with who you are.
You can also re-frame a fault as a positive.
Being overly defensive or qualifying oneself let’s someone know that they have successfully accomplished getting under your skin, which may have been their very intention. Completely ignoring such remarks or either responding nonchalantly or with a joke is often a much better response.
There are actually many benefits to having flaws:
When you accept a flaw and remain confident despite it, more attraction and/or respect can be generated than if you lacked the so called flaw altogether.
Especially if the flaw is physical. Internal confidence is a way more attractive than some external superficial flaw.
If the flaw is blatantly obvious, and yet you conduct yourself as if it has no drastic effect on your self-worth, it shows great self-confidence.
Similarly, if others try to actively attack you over a flaw, but you remain nonreactive, confident and well-grounded despite their provocations, you can come off looking even better than before.
Faults can also allow other people to find you more accessible and relatable. People can’t identify and connect well with others who appear perfect.
And finally, learning to overcome certain shortcoming in life is what allows you to build resourcefulness, character and work ethic.
​
BTW, I just finished putting together my dating advice eBook "How to Date Any Girl" version 4.0 and would LOVE to get some honest feedback from you!
I decided to give it away for free for the time being.
​
The eBook is 27 pages long and gives you a practical step-by-step solution to meeting women (15+ years of knowledge put into it).
You can get the eBook by clicking here!
​
This book is the result of going out and socializing with girls for over a decade. I have put in there all the fundamentals I have learned over that time so I would really appreciate all the feedback I could get!!
​
What are your thoughts? Do you have any tips to add?
Let's discuss in the comments :)
Thanks for reading and have a GREAT day!
David Davidson

I’ve posted here before, and since i gave very little information, i got attacked and i was told im the problem.
Well here’s the whole story.
My mother in law is a very dominant person in nature, she always wanted everything under her control, keep in mind i’m from india while reading this.
(APRIL 2023)engagement saree: in my culture, the husband’s family buy the engagement saree, since we’re not in 540 BC most of the families nowadays let the bride choose her favourite, but my mother in law chose the saree, since she had a gold and pink themed engagement in her mind, i actually liked the saree and i said yes. She didn’t let me choose the makeup artist, she booked one already for me, and even paid her in advance. somehow everything went well and i liked the outcome. i never had any rift with her, i really liked her.
after the engagement my husband and i went on a lunch date, she saw me and pat on my belly and said i should lose fat, bitch? i’m nowhere near fat, it was something like periods belly
My wedding was in august 2023. between april and august, this is where i see her true colours. Meantime she became close with her son’s best friend ( who is actually his gf but he brought her home saying she’s just a friend and the girl(let’s call her kat) was trying so hard to win her)

1. around may, i was asked to come to her city because my mil and kat booked a dance workshop, my mil thought i wouldn’t dance well, im a dancer since school days and i never told anyone, at the workshop i danced so well but my mil never complimented me, she was only complimenting kat. 😭
2. around june, mil randomly calls me and tells me that she bought a outfit for my pre wedding ceremonies ( haldi and cocktail) i was like ??? um without ny presence, she kept saying that it’s so pretty and i’ll love it. since my engagement saree pretty and she chose it, i thought maybe she wouldn’t do something bad
3. when i saw the haldi outfit, it was literally a disaster, the neck was deep, the shoulders were falling off, it was ugly overall. my cocktail outfit she chose looked like something grandmas would wear on funeral.
4. somehow i made last minute changes and changed my cocktail outfit, still wasn’t the best.
5. what made me upset was, my mil and kats outfit were the best in the ceremony, idk why she chose the ugliest one for me and chose the best one for me, it really gave me a bad feeling about this woman.
6. i told my husband but he didn’t pay much attention to this, he said it’s after all a dress, also since he was in a different country, he wasn’t able to do anything much.
7. on the day of my morning wedding ceremony , she insisted that she’ll keep my accessories safely and somehow lost them.
8. for the evening ceremony, she crinkled my dress and said no one would notice.

my biggest question is “will she be okay if it was her outfit or her accessories”. i hated my wedding pictures, i get anxious everytime i see them, everytime i tell my husband, he gets mad that im always complaining about his mom, but no one sees that i got hurt
after the wedding: mostly in indian cultures , the daughter in law has to live with the husbands family. i absolutely hated every minute of it, they criticised the shit outta me.
to my surprise, my mother in law and father in law live seperately in the same area, their houses are 8 mins away from each other.
in my mother in laws house, there’s this new guy ( whom my husband and BIL calls uncle) this uncle(43years old) is an un married, alcoholic guy who passes shit comments about random women. body shames woman while watching a tv show, or when we go out. i hated his behaviour.
you might think this guy is my mil’s own brother, or a cousin or somehow a relative. none of it. he’s just a random someone who’s living full time in this house.
i wouldn’t have given a fuck if no one bothered me. but this uncle mocks me everytime i dress up, do my makeup. when he sees me cooking and he criticises me. when he sees me doing anything in the world, he criticises me. mocks me , my mil , bil and this bastard laugh together.
i felt kinda off since she’s keeping this as a secret from her husband, my fil doesn’t know he’s staying with her full time, for my mils bday this uncle got her a diamond ring , which she hid from her husband, she showed the gifts from me, her sons and her mom but hid the gift from uncle.
he got her a dyson ( which is whole another story, i told my husband i wanted dyson for my birthday, i also mentioned the color blue since it’s available in india, i guess my husband has the habit of telling her everything, just before my bday she went and bought the blue dyson air wrap) and didn’t even tell my husband / her husband. l randomly spilled it to my husband since she wanted it to be a secret. i did it intentionally.
one random day i was checking pinterest i check the messages where i saw a old message i sent to her profile , like a hi or something.. i went to her profile, i saw a board where she saved all the quotes like “you stroke me in places where my hands cannot reach” all such sexy quotes, she also has another board where she saved good morning pics that she usually sends to me and my family. at this point im only speculating, i cannot let a random outsider mock me, also my fil is a very good person, keeping things from him and forcing me to act accordingly is also annoying to me
she’s always been all about appearances, my father in law is shorter than her, kinda fat. also looks old but he’s very rich. maybe that’s why they live separately since she doesn’t like to be seen together with my fil, i’m saying she all about appearances because she only talks to people who look pretty, in my wedding , people from my dads side kinda don’t dress well but they’re good people, she didn’t even wanna shake hands or smile at them when i introduced her to my family. one of my friends was kinda fat and dark, she didn’t even talk to her but she went and took pictures with my other two friends who looked slim and fair.
one time she introduced me to her zumba class friends as “sisters daughter” and without any shame asks me to call her mom since we met. i will never call her mom.
one time it got so much i couldn’t handle and i called my husband and cried about it, my mother in law said they were all just joking and i took everything seriously.
i cannot understand how a literal outsider was given so much power to hurt their daughter in law, and when confronted they support him. he once mocked me for my makeup and i didn’t even respond to him, he texted me saying “hope ur not upset, i did just for fun” this is not a apology
on top of it so many times my mil has come in between me and my husband, since me and my husband are doing a long distance relationship, he comes to india for 2 weeks breaks, ever since we got married in august, we’ve only spend 56 days together. so this time due to olympics he’s getting one month off and we planned a japan trip. my mil immediately said she would also join and said we can go to dubai.
i had to explain my husband how this is not okay since we only had 56 days together and having a family trip is not okay, he somehow explained her and changed the plan to bali. but she was still upset.
even while we’re planning the trip, she asks my husband to send the itinerary, wants to know every detail from the hotel we’re staying to places we’re gonna go
i went back to my parents house since everyday it’s a problem with her and the uncle. i wanted to go LC with her. she called my mom and complained that i don’t text her or call her and that she misses me. if she really misses me , she could text me instead of telling my husband, my mom, my dad , and her relatives. when i see her relatives they’re asking me why i don’t text or call her.
the list goes on, i’ll edit things when something pops up in my head, i got so exhausted from just typing out few things that happened in a span of 8 months
also my husband and i are waiting for the visa, im giving this marriage one last chance, im hoping things will be better if i live alone with him.