Can you look at your paycheck at wal mart online
Badmathematics: You need to take a long hard look at your life.
2013.04.02 16:27 Badmathematics: You need to take a long hard look at your life.
/badmathematics has gone private in solidarity with many other subreddits protesting the drastic price increases reddit has implemented for its API. More information can be found [here](https://www.reddit.com/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding/) If you should want to discuss badmath elsewhere, a community has been opened up on [kbin](https://kbin.social/m/badmathematics). We also have a discord server [here](https://discord.gg/rCDHtrW).
2015.07.14 17:49 aclockworkporridge Look how stupid these kids are
Just look at some of these kids...how can they be so dumb? Like what, you seriously can't hula hoop? Jesus Christ. And babies know literally nothing. God damn, kids are so dumb.
2009.01.01 02:17 /r/depression, because nobody should be alone in a dark place
Peer support for anyone struggling with a depressive disorder
2024.05.16 04:38 Jacquedphoenix Achieve Stunning Results with Salon-Quality Hair Color
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submitted by Jacquedphoenix to u/Jacquedphoenix [link] [comments]
At Camilas Beauty Supply, we understand the importance of vibrant, long-lasting hair color that not only looks incredible but also nourishes your hair. Explore our curated selection of salon-quality hair color brands trusted by salon professionals worldwide. Whether you're aiming for a natural, sun-kissed effect, bold and vibrant hues, or seamless gray coverage, we have the perfect solution for you.
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2024.05.16 04:32 Numerous-Size-131 Can you describe your experience with the word “connection” (emotional connection, human connection)?
Hi. I’m an autistic dude in my 30’s. For context, I’ve avoided interacting face to face with people pretty much my whole life. I have a really hard time with the word “connection” as it pertains to interpersonal relationships. I think the core disconnect is that I don’t think I’ve ever experienced “connection”. Or if I have, I didn’t naturally apply that name to it. I’m trying to puzzle it out because:
1) apparently women want an emotional connection in relationships/before sex. I’ve sought out dating/sex my whole adult life. The crushes that I’ve had dates with, I just felt amazing around that person. That’s as far as I understood it and then they would ghost me after 1 or 2 dates. I had no idea that what women want is an emotional connection. Now that I know that, I’m trying to figure out what the hell that actually means.
2) I need to know the actual definition of the word, because I need to know if I’m making a connection with someone. What am I supposed to feel in my body? What is supposed to actually happen? What is the other person supposed to feel or do? I can’t make progress towards being emotionally connected until I know these things. My current friendships are quite shallow (apparently), so clearly emotional connection doesn’t “just happen” for me. I need to be able to know what I’m doing and if I’m making progress so that I can correct course if I’m not doing it right, or if I am doing it right, tell myself “keep doing what you’re doing”.
I’ll start with what got me thinking about it again and then what my history with the word is.
So the other day I was hanging out with some friends and there’s one guy in the group who is dating. He apparently had been out multiple times with this girl he met on a dating app. I know I’m supposed to be happy for him, but when I hear about this sort of thing, I’m just baffled. How did he have a conversation with her over the app? What did they start with? It seems to have something to do with connection, I guess. I seemingly don’t know how to have a conversation, and that’s not something I could’ve asked him, people just look at me weird when I say something ultra-beginner like “how do I have a conversation”. It just pissed me off because this dude is recently divorced and he’s already been on multiple dates with this other woman. This is the 3rd friend I’ve had that has been divorced and started dating again, and they all get further than me in 1/10th the time! The other two friends are already re-married! Meanwhile I’ve never made it past a 2nd date. So clearly I’m missing something.
My friend was talking about said girl and ended it with “connection! That’s the important thing!” Which is what got me confused and thinking about the word.
So, from my perspective, “human connection” is a totally new idea to me. I literally never heard anyone in any capacity, whether it be online, face to face, or in media of any kind, talk about “connection”, emotional connection, or human connection. Then all of a sudden a few years ago people started saying it all the time. Not everyone, but I’ve heard it from multiple people now. Many people have said that it’s the most important thing on earth. Why is something that many people consider to be the most important thing on earth…something that wasn’t even on my radar until a few years ago? What the hell?
My confusion comes in because I can’t tell what my friend’s history with the word is. Is he just as clueless as I am, and is just using the word because they’ve heard other people say it and their best guess is that what they are experiencing is connection? Or did they experience a connection at some earlier point in their life and somehow someone was able to label it as “connection” for him? Does it somehow feel like a “connection” so people naturally apply that label? Maybe his family frequently talked about connection? That seems weird though because it seems impossible to talk about “human connection” with the people you might connect with - people seem to get really uncomfortable with it. I guess because if you don’t know what an emotional connection is, and they do, they probably don’t want to be around you.
Looking it up, the term emotional intelligence was coined in 1990. It seems like that’s around the same time “emotional connection” was coined. So….the most important thing on earth didn’t have a name until 1990? What? What did people in the 70’s say to refer to it? Did they not have connections? What did people in the 1920’s say without this term existing? I just don’t get how something so recent is supposedly so crucial to being a human and interacting with others.
So what’s your history with the word? Did you have a “connection” with someone, and then, not having heard the word, you said to yourself “this feels like a connection!”. Or had you heard the word first and then applied it to your situation once you had a connection with someone? Do you feel as weird about it as I do, like you missed the memo that said the definition of the word and told everyone to start using it?
I wasn’t sure where to post this, so if you have a recommendation for a sub where I can ask people that are understanding of Autism, but also has NT people on the sub, I’m all ears.
submitted by Numerous-Size-131 to AutismTranslated [link] [comments]
1) apparently women want an emotional connection in relationships/before sex. I’ve sought out dating/sex my whole adult life. The crushes that I’ve had dates with, I just felt amazing around that person. That’s as far as I understood it and then they would ghost me after 1 or 2 dates. I had no idea that what women want is an emotional connection. Now that I know that, I’m trying to figure out what the hell that actually means.
2) I need to know the actual definition of the word, because I need to know if I’m making a connection with someone. What am I supposed to feel in my body? What is supposed to actually happen? What is the other person supposed to feel or do? I can’t make progress towards being emotionally connected until I know these things. My current friendships are quite shallow (apparently), so clearly emotional connection doesn’t “just happen” for me. I need to be able to know what I’m doing and if I’m making progress so that I can correct course if I’m not doing it right, or if I am doing it right, tell myself “keep doing what you’re doing”.
I’ll start with what got me thinking about it again and then what my history with the word is.
So the other day I was hanging out with some friends and there’s one guy in the group who is dating. He apparently had been out multiple times with this girl he met on a dating app. I know I’m supposed to be happy for him, but when I hear about this sort of thing, I’m just baffled. How did he have a conversation with her over the app? What did they start with? It seems to have something to do with connection, I guess. I seemingly don’t know how to have a conversation, and that’s not something I could’ve asked him, people just look at me weird when I say something ultra-beginner like “how do I have a conversation”. It just pissed me off because this dude is recently divorced and he’s already been on multiple dates with this other woman. This is the 3rd friend I’ve had that has been divorced and started dating again, and they all get further than me in 1/10th the time! The other two friends are already re-married! Meanwhile I’ve never made it past a 2nd date. So clearly I’m missing something.
My friend was talking about said girl and ended it with “connection! That’s the important thing!” Which is what got me confused and thinking about the word.
So, from my perspective, “human connection” is a totally new idea to me. I literally never heard anyone in any capacity, whether it be online, face to face, or in media of any kind, talk about “connection”, emotional connection, or human connection. Then all of a sudden a few years ago people started saying it all the time. Not everyone, but I’ve heard it from multiple people now. Many people have said that it’s the most important thing on earth. Why is something that many people consider to be the most important thing on earth…something that wasn’t even on my radar until a few years ago? What the hell?
My confusion comes in because I can’t tell what my friend’s history with the word is. Is he just as clueless as I am, and is just using the word because they’ve heard other people say it and their best guess is that what they are experiencing is connection? Or did they experience a connection at some earlier point in their life and somehow someone was able to label it as “connection” for him? Does it somehow feel like a “connection” so people naturally apply that label? Maybe his family frequently talked about connection? That seems weird though because it seems impossible to talk about “human connection” with the people you might connect with - people seem to get really uncomfortable with it. I guess because if you don’t know what an emotional connection is, and they do, they probably don’t want to be around you.
Looking it up, the term emotional intelligence was coined in 1990. It seems like that’s around the same time “emotional connection” was coined. So….the most important thing on earth didn’t have a name until 1990? What? What did people in the 70’s say to refer to it? Did they not have connections? What did people in the 1920’s say without this term existing? I just don’t get how something so recent is supposedly so crucial to being a human and interacting with others.
So what’s your history with the word? Did you have a “connection” with someone, and then, not having heard the word, you said to yourself “this feels like a connection!”. Or had you heard the word first and then applied it to your situation once you had a connection with someone? Do you feel as weird about it as I do, like you missed the memo that said the definition of the word and told everyone to start using it?
I wasn’t sure where to post this, so if you have a recommendation for a sub where I can ask people that are understanding of Autism, but also has NT people on the sub, I’m all ears.
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submitted by Initial-Future-9527 to Temu_Coupon [link] [comments]
Exclusive TEMU promo code: Use code “acq960016 ” for up to 30% OFF!
About Temu Temu, which stands for Team Up, Price Down, is an e-commerce company that connects consumers with millions of merchandise partners, manufacturers and brands with the mission to empower them to live their best lives. Temu is committed to offering the most affordable quality products to enable consumers and merchandise partners to fulfill their dreams in an inclusive environment. Temu was founded in Boston, Massachusetts in 2022. Lightning Deals Temu’s Lightning Deals are limited-time flash discounts with significant discounts on select items. New offers are added daily and featured directly on the homepage. There will be discounts in several categories, including home goods, sports gear, jewelry, and gifts.
On top of these flash promotions, the Temu lightning deals can help you find 50-90% off items. Promotional banners with links to individual discount pages will be displayed throughout the site.
More Quick Temu Savings Tips Sign up in the app for bonuses, coupons, and offers. Subscribe to Temu's email newsletter for bonus coupons and deals: 1.Visit the site each day to "spin the wheel" for bonus Temu coupons 2.Get free shipping on many items across the site 3.In the app, click "earn credits and gifts" to save 4.Refer a friend via the app to earn gifts 5.New customers get a free Temu coupon bundle worth $100 via the app 6.Enable push notifications on your phone to receive instant access to new discounts and coupons via the app How to Use a Temu Coupon Code 1.Sign in or sign up on Temu 2.Add items to your shopping cart 3.Proceed to the checkout 4.Look for the "apply coupon code" field Apply your Temu coupon code there to save!
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2024.05.16 04:10 Anonymousredditor009 How to move up the ladder / get started in my career?
Serious question (US based)
How do I become upper class?
CONTEXT: My family grew up middle class in an upper middle class neighborhood. I remember feeling ashamed because my friends would vacation to Europe every summer or other exotic destinations while I spent my summers working, and my only "vacation" was to go to the local public pool.
I've been out of college for a year now and have been able to take some short vacations within the US, which has been nice. However I still work in retail making a very low salary and my parents have given me a deadline to move out soon. I'm well aware that what I make is NOT a liveable salary, at least in the part of the country where I live.
I've been applying to jobs for almost two years and have gotten the occasional interview or phone screen but have not landed a single offer. I majored in a liberal arts degree but changed my mind on my ideal career path at a point where I was already stuck in my degree. I'd love to work in business but have already been rejected from all the firms in my area, not just the top ones (all without even getting an interview). I've been applying to jobs daily but I know I need a way to earn more money if I need to start supporting myself soon. I've even signed up for a side gig just to supplement my current job but am still waiting to get approved.
I've thought about becoming a gold digger (I am female) or starting an OnlyFans, although I can't quite overcome my conscience to do the latter, and I am too fat to be the former (I have PCOS and have struggled with my weight my whole life). I am currently learning to watch my diet and calories and working on losing weight, but I am currently well over my ideal weight and am only losing weight at a very slow rate which means it will be several years before I am down to a healthy weight.
Now for the good news.
For one, because I grew up surrounded by the upper middle class, I am familiar to some extent of the aesthetic of that class (although it is very different from my own personal style). I don't know some of the really boujee etiquette things like the different types of forks and what not (tbh being so concerned that someone's using a salad fork to eat steak or whatever is stupid. A fork is a fork.)
Because I went to an affordable public college, I graduated debt free, which is huge. I also graduated with a very good GPA and scored fairly highly on both undergraduate and graduate school standardized exams.
I also have a few different credit cards that I use responsibly and don't spend beyond my means (for the most part). I always pay my cards off in full every month and have a FICO credit score of about 770.
I try to diversify my portfolio, and of my savings I've accumulated so far, just under 10% is in a mutual fund, about 25% is in my 401k with company match, and the rest is in a high yield traditional savings account. With every paycheck, I contribute 10% to my 401k and an additional 10-25% into my savings account (I aim for 25% since I still live at home and have fewer expenses right now, but some months it's less).
It's hard because I've tried looking online for advice as far as how to become wealthy and I feel like I'm doing everything right - I went to college, I got good grades, I save a lot, I have no debt, I don't spend beyond my means, I've even tried going above and beyond to show my dedication in my job search by cold emailing recruiters at companies I'd be interested in (especially those who were alumni of my school), writing personalized cover letters, etc. and yet here I am stuck in my barely-above-minimum-wage soul-sucking retail job with a clock ticking over my head that I don't have much time to somehow find something that provides a liveable wage / move up in class so I can move out of my parents house. In addition, I don't really have the money to immerse myself into affluent circles by joining expensive country clubs, etc. (and even if I did, I feel like I would be judged and dismissed because I'm a fat woman), so that severely limits any opportunities to network or rub shoulders with the rich.
I know this is a very long post so thank you if you made it all the way to the end. I would really appreciate any sincere advice on how to move up in socioeconomic status, find a better paying job, etc. thank you ♥️
submitted by Anonymousredditor009 to careerguidance [link] [comments]
How do I become upper class?
CONTEXT: My family grew up middle class in an upper middle class neighborhood. I remember feeling ashamed because my friends would vacation to Europe every summer or other exotic destinations while I spent my summers working, and my only "vacation" was to go to the local public pool.
I've been out of college for a year now and have been able to take some short vacations within the US, which has been nice. However I still work in retail making a very low salary and my parents have given me a deadline to move out soon. I'm well aware that what I make is NOT a liveable salary, at least in the part of the country where I live.
I've been applying to jobs for almost two years and have gotten the occasional interview or phone screen but have not landed a single offer. I majored in a liberal arts degree but changed my mind on my ideal career path at a point where I was already stuck in my degree. I'd love to work in business but have already been rejected from all the firms in my area, not just the top ones (all without even getting an interview). I've been applying to jobs daily but I know I need a way to earn more money if I need to start supporting myself soon. I've even signed up for a side gig just to supplement my current job but am still waiting to get approved.
I've thought about becoming a gold digger (I am female) or starting an OnlyFans, although I can't quite overcome my conscience to do the latter, and I am too fat to be the former (I have PCOS and have struggled with my weight my whole life). I am currently learning to watch my diet and calories and working on losing weight, but I am currently well over my ideal weight and am only losing weight at a very slow rate which means it will be several years before I am down to a healthy weight.
Now for the good news.
For one, because I grew up surrounded by the upper middle class, I am familiar to some extent of the aesthetic of that class (although it is very different from my own personal style). I don't know some of the really boujee etiquette things like the different types of forks and what not (tbh being so concerned that someone's using a salad fork to eat steak or whatever is stupid. A fork is a fork.)
Because I went to an affordable public college, I graduated debt free, which is huge. I also graduated with a very good GPA and scored fairly highly on both undergraduate and graduate school standardized exams.
I also have a few different credit cards that I use responsibly and don't spend beyond my means (for the most part). I always pay my cards off in full every month and have a FICO credit score of about 770.
I try to diversify my portfolio, and of my savings I've accumulated so far, just under 10% is in a mutual fund, about 25% is in my 401k with company match, and the rest is in a high yield traditional savings account. With every paycheck, I contribute 10% to my 401k and an additional 10-25% into my savings account (I aim for 25% since I still live at home and have fewer expenses right now, but some months it's less).
It's hard because I've tried looking online for advice as far as how to become wealthy and I feel like I'm doing everything right - I went to college, I got good grades, I save a lot, I have no debt, I don't spend beyond my means, I've even tried going above and beyond to show my dedication in my job search by cold emailing recruiters at companies I'd be interested in (especially those who were alumni of my school), writing personalized cover letters, etc. and yet here I am stuck in my barely-above-minimum-wage soul-sucking retail job with a clock ticking over my head that I don't have much time to somehow find something that provides a liveable wage / move up in class so I can move out of my parents house. In addition, I don't really have the money to immerse myself into affluent circles by joining expensive country clubs, etc. (and even if I did, I feel like I would be judged and dismissed because I'm a fat woman), so that severely limits any opportunities to network or rub shoulders with the rich.
I know this is a very long post so thank you if you made it all the way to the end. I would really appreciate any sincere advice on how to move up in socioeconomic status, find a better paying job, etc. thank you ♥️
2024.05.16 04:09 JainaCloudmoore First Month Detransitioning Thoughts
Hi there! I'm kind of new to this and looking for support. I've only been off of testosterone and publicly detransitioning for a month now. I'll write some of the backstory out and then my questions/concerns about my former transition and what to do next. I might ramble, my apologies. I have a lot to say, and I am definitely feeling emotional about it all. It's a big deal.
I'm (27F) woman and I was transitioning as an FTM for over 5 years. I have a bit of a complicated transition history that stretches back into my earlier teen years, but I medically transitioned in my 20s for that 5 years. I only went on testosterone and never got any procedures done. However, I passed fairly well when binding and with my facial/body hair growth. I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria but I'm not sure if that was correct or not. Honestly, I think I struggled more with body dysmorphia than anything gender-specific. I've had a very traumatic life (just saying that for context, I don't try to live my life in a victim mentality, my trauma has just influenced my decisions) and I went through puberty early so I was more aware of sticking out than someone in general would have. I genuinely did feel like I was transgender at parts of my life, but I don't think I would have identified that way if I had received better mental healthcare and guidance for how to accept and love and care for myself as the capable woman I am.
Overall, I think my transition was successful in a way because I accomplished a lot of life goals during the process and connected with myself. I finished undergrad, got into graduate school, worked hard in academia and in jobs, became a professional artist and writer and much more- all things that I never thought I was smart enough to do before transitioning. (I know, that sounds terrible :c ) Ultimately though, transitioning was leading me to an unhealthy place. I started to uncover a lot of traumas in therapy linked to bad male figures in my life and I started to piece together that perhaps I was trying to become the positive male figure that I never had before. Honestly, becoming that "man" did help, but the whole time it was just me. I'll never have a father, and I'll never get the peace and innocence I had before former abusive relationships, but I should have understood that my inner strength was inside of me as a woman the whole time. I didn't have to be a trans man to access that. I never experienced life as a single adult woman since I was always under negative male control, so this new phase of life is an entirely new world to me in a way. It's exciting, fresh, scary, and I am feeling so many things. I don't feel bitter about transitioning but I'm silently highly critical of my past situation and the way I regard other transitions I see IRL and online.
Towards the last two years of medically transitioning I started to experience really weird symptoms. There is a possibility that some of this is tied with long covid because I got seriously ill a couple of years ago, but I noticed symptoms become worse when dosage went higher and better when dosage was lower. Eventually, my doctor put me on what he called a "nonbinary level" which got my levels to somewhere around 99 when he said they should have been at 300. This was the point that I took medicine into MY own hands and told HIM that I wanted to be on that low dose because I felt better on it even though he wanted to increase it for some reason.
The symptoms I was having were heart palpitations, chest pains, muscle aches, loud joint cracking and pains, weakness and prone to injuries, vaginal dryness and pain, dizzy spells, and more probably that I can't think of. I have brought up these things to various doctors especially the last one and none of my "transgender healthcare professionals" seemed worried/interested enough to investigate what was going wrong other than give me blood tests or prescribe me a medicine that I wouldn't take. I felt like I had to handle my own treatment plan by becoming uncomfortably self-aware of my body situation and adjust my weight, supplements, and testosterone based on what would make me feel the least crappy. I felt abandoned by the medical field and I'm having to search for competent clinicians now who can see what's actually happening with my health. Thankfully most of the negative side effects have either subsided or lessened considerably but I don't know how much damage was actually done. I'm very grateful I still have my breasts and that my reproductive system is working a bit better, though I haven't gotten my period back yet.
Another frustration that helped me choose to detransition was understanding that the trans space is actually more dangerous than people want others to see it as. I hate saying that it's dangerous because I don't want to fearmonger ever, it's more of a logical observation. The amount of people that were predatory towards me when I was a trans man is shocking. I have trust issues already and I thought that presenting as male would protect me, but there were several who knew how to manipulate my insecurities and benefit from my vulnerability. A couple of months before I made the choice to detransition, I was a victim of a very violent SA from a "friend." I was hospitalized and injured for weeks if not months and it made me reconsider everything during the intensive therapy. My eyes opened to the reality of "chasers" who just wanted to feminize me, enact their kinks on me, and objectify/brutalize/humiliate me for my inherent womanhood. The people that claimed to love me as a trans man in theory, hated me as a woman in practice. It was horrific.
I'm so so so thankful that other detransitioners are being vocal about their experiences and reaching out even though it's a hard thing to do. I feel like I've been saved from a lifetime of extra pain and challenges that I was tricked into. My experience could have been much worse, and it was already not good.
While now I'm learning how to love myself more and navigate the world and processes of detransitioning, I'm also facing my mindset changing towards transitioning. At this point in time, I do personally believe that some transgender people do exist with gender dysphoria, but I think it is much rarer than the dominating narrative seems to suggest. I've started to hear more about AGPs and one of my friend groups almost all transitioned to become "trans women" but they don't seem to put in any effort to socialize or appear like women. They only tend to have sexual discussions and have started to seem very predatory and creepy towards me and others. One of them is convinced she has a period too. I have distanced myself from them because they have crossed my boundaries and I feel very threatened. But I feel like I can't confront them about the offensive gender issue because they'll think I'm transphobic when in reality, I feel like they're being misogynistic and hurtful.
Has anyone else experienced difficulties in healthcare/bad hormone side effects? Or what are your thoughts on dangers in the trans community? Do you have any tips on how to navigate the early stages of detransitioning? I just filed for my name change and am hoping to get laser removal soon! :)
Thank you so much for reading and any comments/advice. I appreciate it. I'm a little lost and nervous.
submitted by JainaCloudmoore to detrans [link] [comments]
I'm (27F) woman and I was transitioning as an FTM for over 5 years. I have a bit of a complicated transition history that stretches back into my earlier teen years, but I medically transitioned in my 20s for that 5 years. I only went on testosterone and never got any procedures done. However, I passed fairly well when binding and with my facial/body hair growth. I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria but I'm not sure if that was correct or not. Honestly, I think I struggled more with body dysmorphia than anything gender-specific. I've had a very traumatic life (just saying that for context, I don't try to live my life in a victim mentality, my trauma has just influenced my decisions) and I went through puberty early so I was more aware of sticking out than someone in general would have. I genuinely did feel like I was transgender at parts of my life, but I don't think I would have identified that way if I had received better mental healthcare and guidance for how to accept and love and care for myself as the capable woman I am.
Overall, I think my transition was successful in a way because I accomplished a lot of life goals during the process and connected with myself. I finished undergrad, got into graduate school, worked hard in academia and in jobs, became a professional artist and writer and much more- all things that I never thought I was smart enough to do before transitioning. (I know, that sounds terrible :c ) Ultimately though, transitioning was leading me to an unhealthy place. I started to uncover a lot of traumas in therapy linked to bad male figures in my life and I started to piece together that perhaps I was trying to become the positive male figure that I never had before. Honestly, becoming that "man" did help, but the whole time it was just me. I'll never have a father, and I'll never get the peace and innocence I had before former abusive relationships, but I should have understood that my inner strength was inside of me as a woman the whole time. I didn't have to be a trans man to access that. I never experienced life as a single adult woman since I was always under negative male control, so this new phase of life is an entirely new world to me in a way. It's exciting, fresh, scary, and I am feeling so many things. I don't feel bitter about transitioning but I'm silently highly critical of my past situation and the way I regard other transitions I see IRL and online.
Towards the last two years of medically transitioning I started to experience really weird symptoms. There is a possibility that some of this is tied with long covid because I got seriously ill a couple of years ago, but I noticed symptoms become worse when dosage went higher and better when dosage was lower. Eventually, my doctor put me on what he called a "nonbinary level" which got my levels to somewhere around 99 when he said they should have been at 300. This was the point that I took medicine into MY own hands and told HIM that I wanted to be on that low dose because I felt better on it even though he wanted to increase it for some reason.
The symptoms I was having were heart palpitations, chest pains, muscle aches, loud joint cracking and pains, weakness and prone to injuries, vaginal dryness and pain, dizzy spells, and more probably that I can't think of. I have brought up these things to various doctors especially the last one and none of my "transgender healthcare professionals" seemed worried/interested enough to investigate what was going wrong other than give me blood tests or prescribe me a medicine that I wouldn't take. I felt like I had to handle my own treatment plan by becoming uncomfortably self-aware of my body situation and adjust my weight, supplements, and testosterone based on what would make me feel the least crappy. I felt abandoned by the medical field and I'm having to search for competent clinicians now who can see what's actually happening with my health. Thankfully most of the negative side effects have either subsided or lessened considerably but I don't know how much damage was actually done. I'm very grateful I still have my breasts and that my reproductive system is working a bit better, though I haven't gotten my period back yet.
Another frustration that helped me choose to detransition was understanding that the trans space is actually more dangerous than people want others to see it as. I hate saying that it's dangerous because I don't want to fearmonger ever, it's more of a logical observation. The amount of people that were predatory towards me when I was a trans man is shocking. I have trust issues already and I thought that presenting as male would protect me, but there were several who knew how to manipulate my insecurities and benefit from my vulnerability. A couple of months before I made the choice to detransition, I was a victim of a very violent SA from a "friend." I was hospitalized and injured for weeks if not months and it made me reconsider everything during the intensive therapy. My eyes opened to the reality of "chasers" who just wanted to feminize me, enact their kinks on me, and objectify/brutalize/humiliate me for my inherent womanhood. The people that claimed to love me as a trans man in theory, hated me as a woman in practice. It was horrific.
I'm so so so thankful that other detransitioners are being vocal about their experiences and reaching out even though it's a hard thing to do. I feel like I've been saved from a lifetime of extra pain and challenges that I was tricked into. My experience could have been much worse, and it was already not good.
While now I'm learning how to love myself more and navigate the world and processes of detransitioning, I'm also facing my mindset changing towards transitioning. At this point in time, I do personally believe that some transgender people do exist with gender dysphoria, but I think it is much rarer than the dominating narrative seems to suggest. I've started to hear more about AGPs and one of my friend groups almost all transitioned to become "trans women" but they don't seem to put in any effort to socialize or appear like women. They only tend to have sexual discussions and have started to seem very predatory and creepy towards me and others. One of them is convinced she has a period too. I have distanced myself from them because they have crossed my boundaries and I feel very threatened. But I feel like I can't confront them about the offensive gender issue because they'll think I'm transphobic when in reality, I feel like they're being misogynistic and hurtful.
Has anyone else experienced difficulties in healthcare/bad hormone side effects? Or what are your thoughts on dangers in the trans community? Do you have any tips on how to navigate the early stages of detransitioning? I just filed for my name change and am hoping to get laser removal soon! :)
Thank you so much for reading and any comments/advice. I appreciate it. I'm a little lost and nervous.
2024.05.16 03:58 Small-Swim2486 Exploring the Allure of Gloss Meissen Blue Car Vinyl Wrap
I wanted to spark a discussion about something that's been catching my eye lately: Gloss Meissen Blue Car Wrap. I've seen some incredible pictures online of cars rocking this color, and I can't help but be drawn to its mesmerizing charm.
First off, let's talk about the color itself. Meissen Blue seems to strike the perfect balance between sophistication and vibrancy. It's got this deep, rich hue that exudes elegance, but at the same time, there's a subtle pop of color that sets it apart from your typical blues.
What do you all think about Meissen Blue in terms of aesthetics? Does it make a car stand out in a good way, or do you think it's too flashy? Personally, I love how it adds a touch of personality without being overbearing, but I'm curious to hear other perspectives.
Now, onto the practical side of things. I've heard that Gloss Meissen Blue Car Vinyl Wrap offers some serious protection for your vehicle's paintwork. UV resistance, scratch protection, the whole nine yards. Plus, it's removable, so you can switch things up whenever you feel like it. That's a huge plus in my book, especially for those of us who like to change our look every now and then.
But here's the real question: has anyone here actually tried it out? I'm itching to hear some first-hand experiences. Did it live up to the hype? Any tips or tricks for application? And perhaps most importantly, does it turn heads out on the road?
Alright, I'll leave it at that for now. Let's get this conversation rolling! What are your thoughts on Gloss Meissen Blue Car Vinyl Wrap?
submitted by Small-Swim2486 to u/Small-Swim2486 [link] [comments]
First off, let's talk about the color itself. Meissen Blue seems to strike the perfect balance between sophistication and vibrancy. It's got this deep, rich hue that exudes elegance, but at the same time, there's a subtle pop of color that sets it apart from your typical blues.
What do you all think about Meissen Blue in terms of aesthetics? Does it make a car stand out in a good way, or do you think it's too flashy? Personally, I love how it adds a touch of personality without being overbearing, but I'm curious to hear other perspectives.
Now, onto the practical side of things. I've heard that Gloss Meissen Blue Car Vinyl Wrap offers some serious protection for your vehicle's paintwork. UV resistance, scratch protection, the whole nine yards. Plus, it's removable, so you can switch things up whenever you feel like it. That's a huge plus in my book, especially for those of us who like to change our look every now and then.
But here's the real question: has anyone here actually tried it out? I'm itching to hear some first-hand experiences. Did it live up to the hype? Any tips or tricks for application? And perhaps most importantly, does it turn heads out on the road?
Alright, I'll leave it at that for now. Let's get this conversation rolling! What are your thoughts on Gloss Meissen Blue Car Vinyl Wrap?
2024.05.16 03:58 Sinkrity Worried My Dosage May Be Too High?
To start with a disclaimer, I am already awaiting a call back from my doctor about my dosage, I just wanted some other perspectives and opinions to bring to the table so I can have a productive discussion with my doctor!
Is 1ml of 20mg/mL Estradiol Valerate (Injection) Weekly and 100mg of Spiro Daily Too Much?
I started HRT a couple of months ago, and my starting dose is as I listed above. I obviously thought nothing of it at the time until I started hearing about the doses of my fellow trans women. This led me to researching the potential negative side effects of too high a dose of estrogen. I saw mixed things, and that made me even more worried.
Primarily, I'm not sure how unforgiving the dosage is for injections, since most of the content I found online seemed to have to do with the side effects of too high a dosage on pills. I have heard that your estrogen receptors can develop an insensitivity when met with too high a dose, and that worries me as I wasn't able to find any information on how long it would take for them to return to normal after lowering your dose. I worry about the idea that my progress may be set back an indeterminate amount of time, and that I could experience some kind of lasting effects which could alter the way my medical transition goes, which makes me very sad.
I fully understand that I may be being slightly dramatic, which is also why I wanted to get some other perspectives here! Is this dose truly high enough to worry about? If it is too high, how long would it take for my body to recover from a couple of months of this dosage? Do you have any experience with adjusting a dosage down, and if so, I'd love to hear about it!
Just looking for some peace of mind, and personal experience so I can have a better idea of what I may want to discuss when that call comes. Thanks in advance!
submitted by Sinkrity to asktransgender [link] [comments]
Is 1ml of 20mg/mL Estradiol Valerate (Injection) Weekly and 100mg of Spiro Daily Too Much?
I started HRT a couple of months ago, and my starting dose is as I listed above. I obviously thought nothing of it at the time until I started hearing about the doses of my fellow trans women. This led me to researching the potential negative side effects of too high a dose of estrogen. I saw mixed things, and that made me even more worried.
Primarily, I'm not sure how unforgiving the dosage is for injections, since most of the content I found online seemed to have to do with the side effects of too high a dosage on pills. I have heard that your estrogen receptors can develop an insensitivity when met with too high a dose, and that worries me as I wasn't able to find any information on how long it would take for them to return to normal after lowering your dose. I worry about the idea that my progress may be set back an indeterminate amount of time, and that I could experience some kind of lasting effects which could alter the way my medical transition goes, which makes me very sad.
I fully understand that I may be being slightly dramatic, which is also why I wanted to get some other perspectives here! Is this dose truly high enough to worry about? If it is too high, how long would it take for my body to recover from a couple of months of this dosage? Do you have any experience with adjusting a dosage down, and if so, I'd love to hear about it!
Just looking for some peace of mind, and personal experience so I can have a better idea of what I may want to discuss when that call comes. Thanks in advance!
2024.05.16 03:51 LemonsSqueezys I Hate My Hair
I’m really, really, starting not to like my hair. It bothers me that there’s all this extra work in order to take care of it properly, since it’s super curly (4b or 4c?)
My hair grows, and it’s quite healthy. The longest I’ve had it was to my butt. Right now, its just below my chest. So it’s not a growth or length issue. I’ve also never had it relaxed, I’ve been natural all my life. My routine and products I use are minimal, and I have the techniques down. I would say I’m quite experienced.
My main issue is that it’s not quite versatile. I know people mention all the things you can do to it, but it’s usually wigs, braids, or silk presses. I hate wigs, I hate braids, and constantly straightening your hair damages it and that’s its own set of upkeep. And if it is natural, the styles require a bunch of gel and tension.
For a few years, I had my hair in twists. That’s how I got my hair to my butt. But because of how long it was getting, I would only touch my hair once a month (I know, disgusting). It was getting to the point that I would start in the morning, and at best, end late in the night. I tried doing it more often, which did cut down on the time, but it still took basically all day just in more frequent intervals. I eventually decided to just take the twists out. Due to basically neglecting my hair, I had so many split ends and single strand knots I had to cut more than half my hair 😭
When I looked online for what to do with my hair, all I saw was wigs and weave. I get hot and sweaty easily, and I don’t like the idea of not having access to my scalp, so wigs are a no. I’ve had braids before, but I don’t like sitting down for hours to do my hair, and I didn’t want to continue waiting a month to do my hair or only having it in for 1-2 weeks and taking it out. I don’t trust myself to use heat, and I hate gel as it’ll make my hair greasy quickly. I also wanted styles where I didn’t have to worry about my hair too much, since I like to swim. But without those styles, it’s hard to have your hair looking decent.
My alternative to gel was to detangle and style my hair everyday. I would detangle it in the shower and style it when I came out. Since I didn’t moisturize it, that end up leaving my hair dry and with single strand knots, so I had to cut my hair again. Then I applied moisture every other day, which stopped the knots, but now my hair was getting dirty easily. Also, the routine of taking the time to section my hair, detangle each section, twist it up, and then find a style was getting tiresome. Finding a style while having kinky hair, there’s only a handful of hairstyles that work with no gel, so it was quite discouraging.
Eventually, I just decided to leave my hair in four braids and wash it once a week. My routine is simple: I detangle it in the shower before I start shampooing, I leave it in sections the whole time, leave the conditioner to sit while I wash myself, detangle and rinse it, use water and oil and braid them up. Throughout the week, as it gets frizzy, I detangle and braid it in the shower (which is about every other day).
I look back and I’m like, why all this work??? I watch people with straight and loose curls a lot and I wish I could do what they could with their hair. I wish I could just wake up, brush it out, and it’s decent looking or I can immediately style it. Or, even if I have to wet and detangle it, I wish I didn’t have to constantly section it off, and only let the water “reset” my curls. Since my curls are tight and can knot easily, I don’t wear it out without detangling it first which isn’t a simple ordeal either.
I wish I could do minimal to no sectioning, and when I’m done detangling I could take it all out and just brush through it. I wish it would stay decently detangled throughout my shampooing, and all I have to do is a quick brush through my head with the conditioner in before rinsing it out. I wish it didn’t take me almost 2 HOURS TO WASH AND BRAID MY HAIR EVERY WEEK! I wish when I styled it, I could leave more hair out and do cute minimal hairstyles, not worry about having to “stretch it out” or do looks that could be achieved with minimal to no gel (my hair just isnt like that lol). I wish I could just moisturize it and let it dry and be done with it.
I’ve had long hair: down my butt, lower back, and now I’m letting it grow out again and it’s about mid back. I can’t show off my length! I’ve always wanted long hair, and now that I do, I can’t even take it out and see it all because it’ll just shrink and be a hassle! I think my curls are pretty, but shrinkage limits styles so much and since they’re tight, wearing my hair out just leaves it vulnerable to breakage.
Another issue I have is cleanliness. I wash my hair once a week, but like I said, I’m hot bodied. I’m also active, so I sweat a bunch. My hair just gets dirty so quickly! My issues always been that I can’t just wash it, since it takes so long. I have a life! I have stuff to do! This is tmi, but I hate that I can’t wash my sweaty head! It grosses me out, and I’m always scratching it. I feel like no matter what I do, I’m a slave to my hair. This has to be my biggest issue, it gives me the ick.
My only hope is to shave it. I don’t mind wearing wigs if I have nothing underneath, if I decide to wear wigs. I can also wash it however often I want to. My only issue is my femininity. I love long hair, I love having long hair. I love measuring my hair from time to time and being happy with how much it’s grown. I love the compliments I get about my hair being (unexpectedly) long. Also, my hair wasn’t always long. Before I learned what to do and how to take care of it, my hair was the same length for years and I envied those whose hair was long and loose. I mean I still do, but it’s more for versatility and ease rather than it is about looks (although that does still play a role). Now that I have it, I feel sad about letting it go. It’s kind of like my identity, which is also a reason why I want to shave it off. I’m also already insecure about looking manly, so while shaving my hair from here on out might be freeing, I feel like it’ll amplify another insecurity.
I don’t know what was the point of me making this or if anybody cares but this is my dilemma and I dunno if anyone’s going through something similar.
submitted by LemonsSqueezys to Naturalhair [link] [comments]
My hair grows, and it’s quite healthy. The longest I’ve had it was to my butt. Right now, its just below my chest. So it’s not a growth or length issue. I’ve also never had it relaxed, I’ve been natural all my life. My routine and products I use are minimal, and I have the techniques down. I would say I’m quite experienced.
My main issue is that it’s not quite versatile. I know people mention all the things you can do to it, but it’s usually wigs, braids, or silk presses. I hate wigs, I hate braids, and constantly straightening your hair damages it and that’s its own set of upkeep. And if it is natural, the styles require a bunch of gel and tension.
For a few years, I had my hair in twists. That’s how I got my hair to my butt. But because of how long it was getting, I would only touch my hair once a month (I know, disgusting). It was getting to the point that I would start in the morning, and at best, end late in the night. I tried doing it more often, which did cut down on the time, but it still took basically all day just in more frequent intervals. I eventually decided to just take the twists out. Due to basically neglecting my hair, I had so many split ends and single strand knots I had to cut more than half my hair 😭
When I looked online for what to do with my hair, all I saw was wigs and weave. I get hot and sweaty easily, and I don’t like the idea of not having access to my scalp, so wigs are a no. I’ve had braids before, but I don’t like sitting down for hours to do my hair, and I didn’t want to continue waiting a month to do my hair or only having it in for 1-2 weeks and taking it out. I don’t trust myself to use heat, and I hate gel as it’ll make my hair greasy quickly. I also wanted styles where I didn’t have to worry about my hair too much, since I like to swim. But without those styles, it’s hard to have your hair looking decent.
My alternative to gel was to detangle and style my hair everyday. I would detangle it in the shower and style it when I came out. Since I didn’t moisturize it, that end up leaving my hair dry and with single strand knots, so I had to cut my hair again. Then I applied moisture every other day, which stopped the knots, but now my hair was getting dirty easily. Also, the routine of taking the time to section my hair, detangle each section, twist it up, and then find a style was getting tiresome. Finding a style while having kinky hair, there’s only a handful of hairstyles that work with no gel, so it was quite discouraging.
Eventually, I just decided to leave my hair in four braids and wash it once a week. My routine is simple: I detangle it in the shower before I start shampooing, I leave it in sections the whole time, leave the conditioner to sit while I wash myself, detangle and rinse it, use water and oil and braid them up. Throughout the week, as it gets frizzy, I detangle and braid it in the shower (which is about every other day).
I look back and I’m like, why all this work??? I watch people with straight and loose curls a lot and I wish I could do what they could with their hair. I wish I could just wake up, brush it out, and it’s decent looking or I can immediately style it. Or, even if I have to wet and detangle it, I wish I didn’t have to constantly section it off, and only let the water “reset” my curls. Since my curls are tight and can knot easily, I don’t wear it out without detangling it first which isn’t a simple ordeal either.
I wish I could do minimal to no sectioning, and when I’m done detangling I could take it all out and just brush through it. I wish it would stay decently detangled throughout my shampooing, and all I have to do is a quick brush through my head with the conditioner in before rinsing it out. I wish it didn’t take me almost 2 HOURS TO WASH AND BRAID MY HAIR EVERY WEEK! I wish when I styled it, I could leave more hair out and do cute minimal hairstyles, not worry about having to “stretch it out” or do looks that could be achieved with minimal to no gel (my hair just isnt like that lol). I wish I could just moisturize it and let it dry and be done with it.
I’ve had long hair: down my butt, lower back, and now I’m letting it grow out again and it’s about mid back. I can’t show off my length! I’ve always wanted long hair, and now that I do, I can’t even take it out and see it all because it’ll just shrink and be a hassle! I think my curls are pretty, but shrinkage limits styles so much and since they’re tight, wearing my hair out just leaves it vulnerable to breakage.
Another issue I have is cleanliness. I wash my hair once a week, but like I said, I’m hot bodied. I’m also active, so I sweat a bunch. My hair just gets dirty so quickly! My issues always been that I can’t just wash it, since it takes so long. I have a life! I have stuff to do! This is tmi, but I hate that I can’t wash my sweaty head! It grosses me out, and I’m always scratching it. I feel like no matter what I do, I’m a slave to my hair. This has to be my biggest issue, it gives me the ick.
My only hope is to shave it. I don’t mind wearing wigs if I have nothing underneath, if I decide to wear wigs. I can also wash it however often I want to. My only issue is my femininity. I love long hair, I love having long hair. I love measuring my hair from time to time and being happy with how much it’s grown. I love the compliments I get about my hair being (unexpectedly) long. Also, my hair wasn’t always long. Before I learned what to do and how to take care of it, my hair was the same length for years and I envied those whose hair was long and loose. I mean I still do, but it’s more for versatility and ease rather than it is about looks (although that does still play a role). Now that I have it, I feel sad about letting it go. It’s kind of like my identity, which is also a reason why I want to shave it off. I’m also already insecure about looking manly, so while shaving my hair from here on out might be freeing, I feel like it’ll amplify another insecurity.
I don’t know what was the point of me making this or if anybody cares but this is my dilemma and I dunno if anyone’s going through something similar.
2024.05.16 03:48 AccurateFloor9592 [Rant] Shitty roommate is drowning in debt and still manages to gaslight me
I moved to Texas in August of last with who I thought was a good friend of mine that I met in Colorado 3 years ago. At the time of moving, we got laid off of our jobs in Colorado so we thought that would be the best time to do so than ever. We did. We both were able to get retail store management jobs here, a house to rent, no problem. However, she owns a condo in Colorado and thought it would be a good idea to rent the rooms to her previous work colleagues to cover her mortgage while she's renting here in Texas.
About a month into moving here, we both found a significant other for ourselves and generally stay at their houses more than our own. Big deal.. whatever. We're adults. Fast forward to March, she starts telling me she has to move to part time at her job only working 2 days a week. Me being the supportive friend, I tell her to look for another job ASAP. So, she does.. at Colonial Life.. a 100% commission based job that doesn't even pay you for training or the work you do at their office prior to being licensed to sell life insurance. That leads to her saying "I can't handle 2 jobs so I have to quit." She quits the job that was paying her even though it was only 2 days a week.
April 1st comes along, she tells me she's officially gone into debt. The work colleagues who were supposedly her friends decided to quit their jobs.. become couch potato's and not pay her rent. Here's the kicker. She has no actual lease in place to enforce anything therefore they can just live there rent free. She obviously has to pay the mortgage there for what they didn't pay PLUS the rent here, so she somehow managed to do so.
April 25th comes and she tells me she can't afford to live here and needs to go back to Colorado; continuously asking me to find someone to replace her on our lease. Say less! May 1st arrives.. she tells me she is going to be late for rent by 8 days. I told her to take it up with our landlord... so she does, by lying and saying WE both got laid off and had to find new jobs. BRUH..... I am on workers comp, not laid off. I still manage to pay my rent with how low my workers comp benefits are and juggling personal bills. Then when he tells her there's a $100 late fee, she supposedly gets a loan and pays the rent.
May is here and now I'm putting all gas no brakes on finding someone to replace her because I have a lot of stress in my life due to the work indigent I encountered.. I don't need anymore stress. She wasn't able to pay $25 of the WiFi bill so she told me to cancel it but instead I paid it and changed the password. When she found out, she flipped shit and told me how fucked up it was because she can't work online now... for Colonial Life who doesn't pay her for the work she's doing. Lol
A few days ago, I asked her if she's going to have money for her half of electric or rent. She told me no, her account is negative but is hoping she "closes a $20K deal at work" in a week. Nope.. I'm not being strung along until the last day of the month for you tell me you can't pay your half of rent. She then proceeds to ask if I found someone to replace her and I told her I'm working on it. I then asked her if I do find someone, is she able to sign herself off of it if our landlord agrees.. she says "Yes, I told you that already." SAY LESS!
Today, I finally got confirmation of someone to replace her so I called my landlord, explained everything without the extra drama and he said he can make it work but wants to meet in person so we can all agree on it to make sure it's not just me telling her to leave. When I told her this, she FLIPS OUT because I didn't consult her about it before I brought it up to the landlord, tells me I'm kicking her out, that I'm fucked up because now she has to throw her stuff away, take her cat to the shelter and live in her car. I told her to stop worrying about finding money to pay rent and take the money and go back to Colorado... but Colonial Life has her so fucking brainwashed that her reply was "No because I'm about to make thousands."
Now she's giving me a hard time about signing herself off the lease even though she asked 4 times to help her by finding someone to replace her and when I do, it's my fault. Our lease is up October 31st.. my landlord was barely okay with agreeing to replace her because there's about 5 months left but would rather do so than us not paying full months rent.
Fuck off. Worry about sorting out your crippling debt and vape addiction rather than trying to make me suffer financially because you are.
submitted by AccurateFloor9592 to badroommates [link] [comments]
About a month into moving here, we both found a significant other for ourselves and generally stay at their houses more than our own. Big deal.. whatever. We're adults. Fast forward to March, she starts telling me she has to move to part time at her job only working 2 days a week. Me being the supportive friend, I tell her to look for another job ASAP. So, she does.. at Colonial Life.. a 100% commission based job that doesn't even pay you for training or the work you do at their office prior to being licensed to sell life insurance. That leads to her saying "I can't handle 2 jobs so I have to quit." She quits the job that was paying her even though it was only 2 days a week.
April 1st comes along, she tells me she's officially gone into debt. The work colleagues who were supposedly her friends decided to quit their jobs.. become couch potato's and not pay her rent. Here's the kicker. She has no actual lease in place to enforce anything therefore they can just live there rent free. She obviously has to pay the mortgage there for what they didn't pay PLUS the rent here, so she somehow managed to do so.
April 25th comes and she tells me she can't afford to live here and needs to go back to Colorado; continuously asking me to find someone to replace her on our lease. Say less! May 1st arrives.. she tells me she is going to be late for rent by 8 days. I told her to take it up with our landlord... so she does, by lying and saying WE both got laid off and had to find new jobs. BRUH..... I am on workers comp, not laid off. I still manage to pay my rent with how low my workers comp benefits are and juggling personal bills. Then when he tells her there's a $100 late fee, she supposedly gets a loan and pays the rent.
May is here and now I'm putting all gas no brakes on finding someone to replace her because I have a lot of stress in my life due to the work indigent I encountered.. I don't need anymore stress. She wasn't able to pay $25 of the WiFi bill so she told me to cancel it but instead I paid it and changed the password. When she found out, she flipped shit and told me how fucked up it was because she can't work online now... for Colonial Life who doesn't pay her for the work she's doing. Lol
A few days ago, I asked her if she's going to have money for her half of electric or rent. She told me no, her account is negative but is hoping she "closes a $20K deal at work" in a week. Nope.. I'm not being strung along until the last day of the month for you tell me you can't pay your half of rent. She then proceeds to ask if I found someone to replace her and I told her I'm working on it. I then asked her if I do find someone, is she able to sign herself off of it if our landlord agrees.. she says "Yes, I told you that already." SAY LESS!
Today, I finally got confirmation of someone to replace her so I called my landlord, explained everything without the extra drama and he said he can make it work but wants to meet in person so we can all agree on it to make sure it's not just me telling her to leave. When I told her this, she FLIPS OUT because I didn't consult her about it before I brought it up to the landlord, tells me I'm kicking her out, that I'm fucked up because now she has to throw her stuff away, take her cat to the shelter and live in her car. I told her to stop worrying about finding money to pay rent and take the money and go back to Colorado... but Colonial Life has her so fucking brainwashed that her reply was "No because I'm about to make thousands."
Now she's giving me a hard time about signing herself off the lease even though she asked 4 times to help her by finding someone to replace her and when I do, it's my fault. Our lease is up October 31st.. my landlord was barely okay with agreeing to replace her because there's about 5 months left but would rather do so than us not paying full months rent.
Fuck off. Worry about sorting out your crippling debt and vape addiction rather than trying to make me suffer financially because you are.
2024.05.16 03:45 NationalAnything1547 What to Do in Toronto: Models' Edition
Hello everyone,
It's a beautiful day here in Toronto and based on some fantastic recommendations, we've compiled a list of model-friendly activities, places, and attractions in our city. This list has been curated to offer a balanced mix of opportunities for relaxation, inspiration, socializing, and personal development.
1. Explore the Distinctive Neighborhoods
Toronto's neighbourhoods each have their unique character and charm, offering a rich palette of experiences for models looking to take in some local culture or seeking photoshoot inspiration. For instance, Kensington Market is a diverse culinary hub, perfect for trying exotic foods and street photography. Yorkville is an affluent area where high-end fashion brands reside, and Queen West is known as a fashion-forward district, making them both fantastic for networking and staying on top of the latest trends.
2. Visit the Distillery District and St. Lawrence Market
The Distillery District, with its historic charm and contemporary art scene, is a perfect location for a photoshoot. Also, explore the St. Lawrence Market - a historical marketplace with diverse offerings that could provide inspiration for your next editorial spread or runway walk.
3. Chill Out at Toronto's Green Spaces
Take a serene day trip to the Toronto Islands, a car-free area perfect for a relaxing picnic, outdoor yoga, or a leisurely bike ride. Alternatively, take in the lush green spaces and diverse habitats of High Park for a breath of fresh air away from the busy city life.
4. Embrace the Arts and Culture
Check out the Royal Ontario Museum for its diverse exhibits, or head to the Distillery District for its art galleries. Visit the Hockey Hall of Fame or take a tour of the majestic Casa Loma. Immersing yourself in Toronto's cultural offerings could inspire your next creative project or photoshoot theme.
5. Networking Opportunities
Engage with the community at fashion-forward districts like Yorkville and Queen West and visit legitimate talent agencies like Icon, Elite, or other agencies with mother agency relationships. Get involved in local acting classes or sports clubs for both personal growth and networking opportunities.
6. Online Community Engagement
Models can also engage online in subreddits such as MODELING, where you can connect with other models and photographers, share casting calls, and discuss the modeling field (https://www.reddit.com/MODELING/comments/
Toronto Models Videos Playlist
submitted by NationalAnything1547 to TorontoModels [link] [comments]
It's a beautiful day here in Toronto and based on some fantastic recommendations, we've compiled a list of model-friendly activities, places, and attractions in our city. This list has been curated to offer a balanced mix of opportunities for relaxation, inspiration, socializing, and personal development.
1. Explore the Distinctive Neighborhoods
Toronto's neighbourhoods each have their unique character and charm, offering a rich palette of experiences for models looking to take in some local culture or seeking photoshoot inspiration. For instance, Kensington Market is a diverse culinary hub, perfect for trying exotic foods and street photography. Yorkville is an affluent area where high-end fashion brands reside, and Queen West is known as a fashion-forward district, making them both fantastic for networking and staying on top of the latest trends.
2. Visit the Distillery District and St. Lawrence Market
The Distillery District, with its historic charm and contemporary art scene, is a perfect location for a photoshoot. Also, explore the St. Lawrence Market - a historical marketplace with diverse offerings that could provide inspiration for your next editorial spread or runway walk.
3. Chill Out at Toronto's Green Spaces
Take a serene day trip to the Toronto Islands, a car-free area perfect for a relaxing picnic, outdoor yoga, or a leisurely bike ride. Alternatively, take in the lush green spaces and diverse habitats of High Park for a breath of fresh air away from the busy city life.
4. Embrace the Arts and Culture
Check out the Royal Ontario Museum for its diverse exhibits, or head to the Distillery District for its art galleries. Visit the Hockey Hall of Fame or take a tour of the majestic Casa Loma. Immersing yourself in Toronto's cultural offerings could inspire your next creative project or photoshoot theme.
5. Networking Opportunities
Engage with the community at fashion-forward districts like Yorkville and Queen West and visit legitimate talent agencies like Icon, Elite, or other agencies with mother agency relationships. Get involved in local acting classes or sports clubs for both personal growth and networking opportunities.
6. Online Community Engagement
Models can also engage online in subreddits such as MODELING, where you can connect with other models and photographers, share casting calls, and discuss the modeling field (https://www.reddit.com/MODELING/comments/
Toronto Models Videos Playlist
2024.05.16 03:43 pakrninja 20 things I learned for budget oriented tourists in Vegas
- Fremont Street Experience - 3 stages with Live bands, plenty of street performers, 2 OG casinos (1 of which lets you take a picture with $1,000,000) plus plentiful bars/restaurants. Spending money is not required. We didn't make it at night, but from what I understand it is a good show. During the summer there are more popular artists that perform in the area.
- Buy a bus pass. $20 for 3 days of unlimited rides. Bus stops at most casinos on the strip as well as Fremont Street. It can get crowded, but it is far cheaper than Lyft/Uber or parking your own vehicle.
- Plan on having cash on hand for tipping. They gave us a booklet with recommended tipping amounts for just about any potential service you could require. On a budget you don't want to be that tourist that doesn't tip when expected, but you also don't want to overdue it. Just a quick few (Bellhops $1-$3 per bag, Housekeeping $5-$10 per day you have them clean, Buffets $5-$10 per person)
- Just about everything else can be purchased using Credit/Debit cards. Even a lot of the street performers take digital payments now (Zelle, CashApp, Venmo, Paypal)
- High Roller observation wheel - If you are 21+, I would recommend getting the "Happy half hour" tickets (Cost a bit more but include unlimited drinks on your ride) which can be used at any time of the day, but definitely go at night. Pods are supposed to hold up to 40 ppl, but when we went we had about 12-15 people besides us. Plenty of room and plenty of time to get your drink on.
- Wear comfortable shoes, When looking at a map it can be deceiving how far things are from each other. You will find out quickly that you will put some mileage on. My wife and I averaged about 9-10 miles of walking per day, and that was with us trying to avoid it due to medical issues.
- Hotel - We stayed at the Hilton Grand Vacations, it's a very nice hotel. Our room was massive, included a full kitchen, dishwasher, dishes, washedryer, and an in wall safe. Be aware, they will ransack you with signing up for a sales presentation. If you are willing to sit through the presentation you will score some goodies, like free show tickets or free dinner, etc. You are under no obligation to buy anything, but if you want free... this is a good way.
- Speaking of washedryer in our room, check your booking closely to see if you have one. If you do, make sure to not overpack. We stayed a week and probably could have packed for 3 days and been just fine.
- Book a room with a full kitchen if possible. We went grocery shopping after checking in and stocked up enough basic foods for the week so we didn't have to eat out every meal. When every meal is going to cost you a minimum of $15-$20 per person basically everywhere, it can add up quick. Plus all of the dishes were included, we just had to wash them. They also provided dishwasher detergent.
- Resort Fees - Be aware of the hotel charging resort fees. As far as I am aware, every hotel on the strip at least has resort fees. HGV had one at $30 per night (Which literally paid for our "complimentary"Wi-Fi, having a phone in our room, and being allowed to self park) Valet was $40 per night billed on our hotel tab.
- Do not engage with the sales people on the streets unless you are truly interested. It is easy to get scammed and you aren't getting your money back. They also will hound you if you show the least bit of interest in what they are doing. If you bring kids, be aware that there is a TON of pornographic material/cards being handed out or offered in newspaper style machines. Not to mention the "showgirls" that are wandering around with very little on offering to take pictures with you (for a fee of course), there are also BDSM women that walk around and offer to spank you, in front of everyone of course.
- If you are a people watcher, be aware there are limited areas to sit and just people watch unless you sit at a barestaurant. There are surfaces around to sit on in some places, but I wouldn't count on it.
- Our 2 favorite restaurants on our trip. Margaritaville (Which we were informed will be closing down it's current location due to their lease expiring, but they are looking for a new location.) and Heart attack grill. If you don't know what either of those are, go on youtube and search. Heart attack grill is a themed restaurant and it is geared towards unhealthy eaters (or fat people if you will). Food was delicious though. Margaritaville had great food, great atmoshere, and great service.
- Buffet - If you are tempted to spend $$$ on an expensive buffet, be aware they really aren't worth the cost if you are on a budget. We went to the Wynn buffet ($75/person) which included our non-alcoholic drinks. If I had known then what I know now, I honestly would have ONLY gone for dessert. While there is a large assortment of really good food, it is all designed to fill you up quickly and there is just about zero chance you get your $75 worth unless you are a professional eater (or eat like one). But going for desserts, you have so many different choices to try and the portions are smaller being desserts. If you were to buy these desserts at a normal restaurant, they would price between $5-$25. That means you can quickly get your $75 worth without overeating. As of this post, Wynn buffet is the 2nd most expensive buffet, behind bacchanal. We only ate at the Wynn buffet, but there are also more reasonably priced buffets around $30-$50 per person.
- Blue Man Group - If you haven't heard of them, look them up. They are a comedy show, but not stand up comedy. It's skit based, involves lots of music and crowd interaction. There is NO TALKING from the members of the blue man group, they only act. Which just adds to the show, we loved it. It's a little pricey, I paid about $135 each for tickets... but it was pretty much the highlight of our trip.
- Any restaurants you plan on visiting, make reservations. Most you can make online. It may not be needed, but if you show up and there is a line down the block, you get to skip the line. Well worth it, just make sure you are there on time or you lose your spot.
- Avoid buying tourist trap excursions off websites claiming to give you a deal. 99% of them are either the exact same price as if you walk up to the venue or possibly even slightly more expensive. Not to mention, they are literally called a tourist trap for a reason. If you have money to blow, have at it. But on a budget, you won't miss out by not getting sucked in.
- At basically every restaurant there will be a photographer walking around offering to take pictures. Don't be fooled into thinking these are free photos. They will give you one complimentry photo that is tiny, like as small as those instamax cameras (1x1 photos). They will offer you 2 larger photos (4x6) in a (not so) fancy cardboard photo frame. At the time of this post, it was $20 per photo. *Tourist Hack* If you want the photos, tell them you do not want them and they will offer you both photos without the cardboard frame for $20. This worked at every single restaurant that we hit. Although, we only purchased twice, because how many restaurant photos with logos and crap on it do you need?
- If you really want to save money, do things OFF-strip. Everything on the strip is pricier, I do mean EVERYTHING.
- All gift shops have basically the same things. We visited the "Worlds Largest Gift Shop" and also one called ABC gifts (or something like that). Honestly, the Worlds largest felt crowded and overwhelming. The ABC shop we went to had some nice things in it that we bought, I would recommend them.
2024.05.16 03:37 School_Marketing Is Your School Not Visible Enough to Stakeholders?
Are you finding it challenging to make your school stand out to prospective students and their families? In today’s competitive educational landscape, standing out and capturing the attention of prospective students and their families can feel overwhelming. Educational institutions face unique challenges, but with strategic planning and the right tools, you can rise above the noise. Let’s focus on four pillars to help you succeed: digital marketing, automation, human superpowers, and consistency. Here’s how you can leverage these pillars to make your school more visible and attractive to stakeholders.
At "Go Online Now" Digital Marketing Agency, we're here to help you navigate these challenges and achieve your enrollment goals. Contact us today to learn how we can support your institution's marketing efforts.
submitted by School_Marketing to CRM [link] [comments]
1. Standing Out in a Crowded Market
Challenges:- Increased Competition: With more educational institutions popping up, it’s essential to differentiate your school.
- Demographic Shifts: Declining birth rates and a mobile student population mean fewer potential students.
- Digital Marketing: Use SEO, content marketing, and social media to showcase what makes your school special. Share stories that connect with your audience on an emotional level.
- Human Superpowers: Highlight the dedication and passion of your faculty and staff. Share testimonials and success stories from current and former students.
2. Reaching the Right Audience
Challenges:- Evolving Student Preferences: Today’s students are bombarded with marketing messages and expect personalized, relevant communication.
- Multigenerational Marketing: Tailor your messages to appeal to both students and their parents.
- Automation: Use marketing automation tools to segment your audience and send targeted messages. Personalize communication to reflect the interests and needs of prospective students and their families.
- Human Superpowers: Train your admissions team to connect authentically with both students and parents. Personal interactions can make a significant impact and build lasting relationships.
3. Demonstrating Value and ROI
Challenges:- Focus on Outcomes: Prospective students and their families are increasingly concerned about the return on investment (ROI) of education.
- Value Beyond Academics: Students are looking for experiences that go beyond just academics.
- Digital Marketing: Create content that highlights career outcomes, alumni success stories, and the holistic development opportunities your institution offers.
- Human Superpowers: Host webinars and Q&A sessions with successful alumni and career counselors to showcase the tangible benefits of your programs.
4. Adapting to a Changing Landscape
Challenges:- Technological Advancements: The rise of online learning and alternative credentials challenges traditional education models.
- Shifting Marketing Landscape: Traditional marketing methods are less effective; digital strategies are essential.
- Digital Marketing: Embrace online learning platforms and promote flexible learning options. Use social media engagement, content marketing, and targeted advertising to reach your audience.
- Automation: Implement automated marketing campaigns to nurture leads and keep prospective students engaged. Use data analytics to refine your strategies.
Additional Challenges and Solutions
Challenges:- Budgetary Constraints: Limited marketing budgets can make it tough to compete with larger schools.
- Data-Driven Decision Making: Implementing data-driven strategies can be challenging for some institutions.
- Consistency: Maintain a consistent message across all marketing channels. Consistent branding builds trust and recognition.
- Automation: Automate repetitive tasks to save time and resources. Use data analytics to track campaign performance and make informed decisions.
Final Thoughts
Navigating today’s educational marketing landscape requires a comprehensive approach. By integrating digital marketing, automation, human superpowers, and consistency, you can effectively communicate your school’s value, reach the right audience, and stand out in a crowded market.At "Go Online Now" Digital Marketing Agency, we're here to help you navigate these challenges and achieve your enrollment goals. Contact us today to learn how we can support your institution's marketing efforts.
DigitalMarketing #EducationMarketing #SchoolVisibility #MarketingAutomation #EducationalSuccess #HigherEdMarketing #StudentEngagement #GoOnlineNow #ConsistencyInBranding #HumanConnection #ROIinEducation
2024.05.16 03:37 Witty-Swimmer-3720 New Gait D2 line, how are they?
I’m looking at the D2GB, but online I can only find videos where the sponsored guys just basically read out how they’re advertised and then don’t show them being used at all
Also, are we thinking they’re gonna be banned from high school play in the future? The hooks on the T and C are obviously not as egregious as they were but there’s still a lot to push and pull with that you don’t see on any other defensive heads really.
The GB is shaped almost like a women’s head, so I can’t imagine why other companies wouldn’t have thought of trying that unless there was concern for them being outlawed, or they just break too easily at the big kink, or something else.
They seem innovative and well designed to me but please give me your thoughts cause I don’t wanna waste $120 on a head that’s gonna be illegal, break easily, be impossible to string, or whatever the case.
submitted by Witty-Swimmer-3720 to lacrosse [link] [comments]
Also, are we thinking they’re gonna be banned from high school play in the future? The hooks on the T and C are obviously not as egregious as they were but there’s still a lot to push and pull with that you don’t see on any other defensive heads really.
The GB is shaped almost like a women’s head, so I can’t imagine why other companies wouldn’t have thought of trying that unless there was concern for them being outlawed, or they just break too easily at the big kink, or something else.
They seem innovative and well designed to me but please give me your thoughts cause I don’t wanna waste $120 on a head that’s gonna be illegal, break easily, be impossible to string, or whatever the case.
2024.05.16 03:37 sac_112 Debunking a few popular theories.
 | Starting to debunk 🔥 FNaF 6FNaF 6 is mostly assumed by people to take place in 2023 because of HRY223, saying it means Henry 2023, the thing is, they ignore the most important detail of that text.HRY223 is actually not written that way, is "HRY223...", what's the difference? In the first option that most people use to argue FNaF 6 2023, the text is complete, saying 2023 as a last part of the text. In the true and second option, the text is incomplete, it's not showing it all, Scott knew that people said that FNaF 3 took place in 2023 when it wasn't the case, so, he wanted to do a little trolling putting "HRY223..." It does say Henry (date), but the date is incomplete, so it's more of: HRY 2/23/???? or Henry Febrary 23rd of ????, since the last part is missing. So, if the date is not 2023, then when is it? Using Fazbear Frights as a part of games timeline, we have an answer, since, and as I have stated before: In Fetch, Greg describes the Location of Freddy's as the same as the FNaF 1 Location (MCI Location), which we know, was turned Into Jeffs Pizza in ITP.So, with this in mind, FNaF 6 happens in 2016 or 2017. But some people argue that FNaF 3 happens in 2023, how do I explain that? FNaF 3 doesn't happen in 2023, happens in 2015. FNaF 3First of all, the steam description.Thirty years after Freddy Fazbear's Pizza closed it's doors, the events that took place there have become nothing more than a rumor and a childhood memory, but the owners of "Fazbear's Fright: The Horror Attraction" are determined to revive the legend and make the experience as authentic as possible for patrons, going to great lengths to find anything that might have survived decades of neglect and ruin.So, it mentions that it's 30 years after Freddy Fazbear's Pizza closed it's doors, which of the 3? Well, we can get to an easy answer with this. the events that took place there have become nothing more than a rumor and a childhood memorySo, the location was actually opened for quite a long time (discarding the location of the 87), the FNaF 1 location is the same as the location of the MCI, so it could be rather 2015 or 2022/2023 (later explaining). So, which of both is it? Well, the text directly stated right after it explains it. but the owners of "Fazbear's Fright: The Horror Attraction" are determined to revive the legend and make the experience as authentic as possible for patrons, going to great lengths to find anything that might have survived decades of neglect and ruin.What does this tell us? Well, reading the whole text, is clear that it's talking about 30 years after the location where the rumors and years of neglect and ruin started closed. The FNaF 1 location didn't started the rumors and years of neglect and ruin. It was the Missing Children Incident location! Now, let's talk about the source code. "five, nights, at, freddys, 30 years later, only one"What does this actually mean? let me begin separating the text, because it's not "five nights at freddy's 30 years later only one" it has punctuation marks, so, what do they mean? To me, they look more as a title. FiveLet me begin clarifying the text. As it is a title, there's the name of the franchise, then the title of the game == (Title) (Name) So, the important thing here is the fact that it's named "30 years later, only one" what could this mean? I interpret it more like- "After 30 years, there's only one" only one what? Only one animatronic as the description of the game says. At first there were only empty shells, a hand, a hook, an old paper-plate doll, but then a remarkable discovery was made... The attraction now has one animatronic. So, it's talking about that 30 after something, there's now one animatronic in Fazbear Frights. This doesn't reveal anything. The Real Value and the LogbookI don't think this needs an explination, but here it comes. (reused text from an old post)In the page 79 there is a cupon named "Pizza Party Pack" which costs 16 dollars, and Michael writted there "for real value, see page 61", if you remember right, the page 61 is where we get the "I" in the "my name" code, but for now, let's ignore that, because doing the same math, "5+4 = 9" and multiplaying it with 3 we get 27, so the real value is 27, right? yes, but that's kinda weard, because if we use an inflation calculator (or just do the math by ourselfs) we get that in 2023 it would cost 33.74 dollars, but that's logical, Scott made this book in 2017, the real value needs to be updated to the "present" day, Scott isn't a magician, he can't know how will go the inflation in 2023 being on 2017, and doing the math with 2017 insetead of 2023 we get almost the exact number, but it can't be right, like i said in another post the only dates where FNaF 3 can take place are 2015 and 2023, and like we see right here, it can't be in 2023, but wait, we are doing this taking in mind that FNaF 1 takes place in 1993, if we say that FNaF 1 takes place in 1992 then in 2015 is 27.00$.But I've seen people against the real value, and let me explain why they are wrong! Let me point out 2 main posts.
Starting with... Meta Logbook. The fact that the logbook mentions the Springlocks doesn't even prove anything! It just places it after Night 2 of FNaF 3. The Phone Calls from FNaF 2 are never mentioned or even something at all on the Logbook, they know what happened in that local because of the rummors! They knew about the Phone Calls from FNaF 1 because they were in that restaurant! and uh, Phone Guy kinda possessed the phone, if not, we wouldn't be literally getting PHONE CALLS on FNaF 1, since they are recordings, why ring the phone? That's because it's possessed by Phone Guy. They could've just recorded those Phone Calls to make the logbook AFTER night 2. Now, let's talk about th epost of Fantasctic-Bed3911. FNaF 2 is NOT in summer, if we're gonna use the summer-job thing as confirmation, then FnaF 1 is in summer as the description of FNaF 1 states: Welcome to your new summer job at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, where kids and parents alike come for entertainment and food as far as the eye can see! The main attraction is Freddy Fazbear, of course; and his two friends. They are animatronic robots, programmed to please the crowds! The robots' behavior has become somewhat unpredictable at night however, and it was much cheaper to hire you as a security guard than to find a repairman.So it's more of a legal thing or a way to say "short-time job". So, FNaF 1 is indeed in 1992, and since the Logbook has multiple references of it being at the same time as FNaF 3 (since we literally see the office and for stuff mentioned before), the real value is showing us that FNaF 3 is in 2015. Confirming 2 things.
FNaF 1As I explained 2 months ago.FNaF 1 is in 1992, why.. MHMM (this is bassically the same text as the one of my old post) We spent 6 hours a night in Freddy’s for 5 nights (30 hours) and we get paid 120$ a WEEK, so it’s 4$ a hour (less than the minimum wage of USA, 7.25$ per hour), when is the only year that 4 dollars an hour is legal (in USA)? In 1990 the minimum wage was 3.80$, in 1991 it was raised to 4.25, so it can’t be in 1991, but from there to 1996 the minimum wage was raised to 5 bucks, so it’s in 1990, right? NO! There’s something else. So, in the camera 04b we see the MCI newspapers, which if you see them correctly and compare them with the newspapers that we see on the beginning of the game and REAL newspapers we know that these aren’t actually newspapers from the 80s, they don’t actually seem to be actual newspapers at all, they seem more like an article from a web page, like- a transcription of the news to digital, so, they were researched in the internet, or something similar. We know that this is the current pizzeria since is stated to be after the MCI or “after the tragedy that took place there many years ago” which implies that this is also the same restaurant of where the MCI happened, so this makes me think that this is the memory of Mike, these are actual things that Mike researched on internet to know more about his job maybe? Remember that Mike used a computer to search that, he used the internet, according to Wikipedia and this Quora question, the internet was opened to the public in 1991, so FNaF 1 cannot be in 1990. But that would bring a lot of problems, for example, in 1992 the minimum wage was of 4.55$, so it can’t be there, or at any point after 1991… UNLESS, Following what the U.S. DEPARTMENT OF LABOR says, if a person is under the age of 20 it can have the minimum wage but only 85%, but this expired in 1993, so, FNaF 1 is at any point from 1991 to 1993 and Mike is at maximum 20 years old. It can be at any point in between those 3 years, so we don’t have a definitive answer for now… Or until FNaF 2… Mhmmm So, FNaF 2 is directly a prequel of FNaF 1, since 2 takes place in 1987 and 1 is in 1991-1993. So, with the information that this game adds to the timeline, how can this help with FNaF 1? Yeah i know what you might be thinking, “but how can this help?!?!”, pretty easy actually. FNaF 2 takes place in November of 1987, more specifically, 8th to 14th of November, November 8th is a SUNDAY. This shows us that the laboral week of Fazbear Entertainment is from Sunday to Thursday, but Jeremy and Fritz spent until Saturday. So, FNaF 1 is in 1992. Finally, with this out of the way, i need to explain why does this can keep working on current timeline- I know that there's still people saying that more recent information make clear that FNaF 1 is in 1993, but to that let me tell you something... No it doesn't. like we can see thanks to TechnicalFNaF that in FNaF AR the "Faz-Facts" are NOT canon,, since the Illumix employee stated how they were written by Illumix and not Scott, and shouldn't be used for lore at all. https://preview.redd.it/c5nf3sajzo0d1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=e11a57aed31d1a071466fab3f8ed3bf140cdbb05 With that out of the way, let me talk about one of the MOST missinterpreted and missinformed fact of the franchise, in the FNaF Cook book, there's NO mention of 1993, Not in any page of the book, that's missinformation. With that out of the way, let me tell you one of the most ignored pieces of information of the MOST LORE RELEVANT BOOK of this franchise... Before going to it,, let me clarify something the Survival Logbook is indeed in FNaF 3, not in the nights, but AFTER the nights happen, how? First of all, the Survival Logbook makes clear that it takes place on the week that Mike was there (also confirming that Mike was the Frightguard), we know this since the Logbooks night 2 to 5 title pages are in the FNaF 3 office, htat's obvious since we see how everything lines up perfectly, and the fact that we see foxy there makes clear too that Mike is Foxybully, so, upon that, the Logbook takes place in FNaF 3, but how? The Logbook is directly a log to all the stuff that happened during your shift, bassicly it's literally a in-between nights thing, so it makes sense that Mike would have it and fill it with stuff in between the nights of FNaF 3... Now... In the page 79 there is a cupon named "Pizza Party Pack" which costs 16 dollars, and Michael writted there "for real value, see page 61", if you remember right, the page 61 is where we get the "I" in the "my name" code, but for now, let's ignore that, because doing the same math, "5+4 = 9" and multiplaying it with 3 we get 27, so the real value is 27, right? yes, but that's kinda weard, because if we use an inflation calculator (or just do the math by ourselfs) we get that in 2023 it would cost 33.74 dollars, but that's logical, Scott made this book in 2017, the real value needs to be updated to the "present" day, Scott isn't a magician, he can't know how will go the inflation in 2023 being on 2017, and doing the math with 2017 insetead of 2023 we get almost the exact number, but it can't be right, like i said in another post the only dates where FNaF 3 can take place are 2015 and 2023, and like we see right here, it can't be in 2023, but wait, we are doing this taking in mind that FNaF 1 takes place in 1993, if we say that FNaF 1 takes place in 1992 then in 2015 is 27.00$. Also in the book there are several references to things that only appeared in 2015 the MacBook Silver, the dabbing (but used as a meme) and more, so, even with this conclusion, the only possible way to this to work is if FNaF 3 takes place in 2015… So, the definitive answer is that FNaF 1 takes place in 1992, Mike is 20 years old when the game takes place at maximum and FNaF 3 takes place in 2015. End of the debunks |
2024.05.16 03:35 Kurora55 I can no longer do my main stim and I am wishing I learned how to supress it better
First time finding here, so Im sorry if this doesn't fit but I cant really find anywhere else. I am also pretty new to this, as I only got officially diagnosed around 7 months ago. When I was 17, I had my family doctor at the time go "oh you're a gifted kid struggling? Here have these ADD pills", which didn't work for multiple pills, so I never realized I might have until I met someone with ADHD in college that was like "you need to be tested because you are just like me". So yeah... Don't know how universal that is, but I'm just glad I have meds that work now. Anyways..
For years, I (24f) have been pacing in circles before I go to bed. I have been doing this seen my early teens, even before I was diagnosed to help regulate my mood and energy so I can get out any built up tension and energy from the day, allowing my brain to slow down enough my sleeping meds can work. I used to do it whenever I could, but as my family realized it was a regular thing that I couldn't stop doing, they got upset, and if I was caught doing this, I would get insulted, being told about how funny I looked pacing to music, or bugged about why I cant do things a "normal" way, like using a treadmill (I tried, it doesn't work, I don't keep a steady pace, I walk to the beat of the music which, you know, changes every song) or go for a walk (I live in a really bad area, so its completely unsafe to do so). So then I would move rooms so they couldn't see me.
Well, they would figure out which room I was using and when, then they would decide that they would be using that room at the times I was normally there (which I purposely chose so they would routinely be doing other things in other parts of the house). After being blocked from pretty much every room, I got relegated to the basement, which they would stuff with things into giant piles. This worked fine for a bit, because I worked evenings so I could pace after they went to bed. Even when I got laid off from that job, I could still be up late and tire myself out so I could get up and function.
Well, now my work schedule has changed from nights to early mornings, like I'm waking up at 3:30am, which means I have to go to bed hours before anyone else, blocking me from pacing. I am also very close to my period, and I have really bad PMS moods when I can regulate, and it is so much worse. Like my body is constantly twitching and moving way more than normal and I just feel so uncomfortable, like there are ants in my skin, which spirals into my anxiety, causing my neck to twitch a lot (anxiety symptom, which also then proceeds to get made fun of). My anxiety also makes the need to move worse, so it spirals and I can't get out of it. Or the need to move gets so much that its almost painful and I start to cry.
I currently cannot move out, due to me not even being in this new job long enough for my first paycheck, plus student debt and housing prices being so high ( like this new jobs pays me a good bit more and I couldnt afford a small bachelor without having at least 2 or 3 others there too). Just for a chance to have some privacy, I bought my own lock for my glorified closet of a room (I'm not joking, my twin bed takes up 3/4s of the space I have, so I cant even pace in this room since I will stub my toe constantly on my bed frame).
I cant just sit with my dog (since petting her helps a lot) because my family's dogs come and shove her out of the way and I get in trouble for telling them off. Cant go to therapy since my therapist feels bad for me (last time I went I got a genuine "I am so sorry that you have to just survive" and that is a whole deal I refuse to unpack. All my fidgets that I have are for my hands which doesn't help near as much since it doesn't engage my brain at the same time, and I am at a loss for what to do. Every alternative I have tried doesn't work either for me or for the situation, and I just wish I could explain things and have someone understand in my life. Hell, I had to blame the fact I get overwhelmed at the sound of a vacuums or loud music on the fact I have severe migraines, since it gives a reason why my brain just melts down when it happens.
I know I have to be patient, and see things through, but getting this one comfort I had for over half my life ripped away just really sucks. If anyone has read this far, and has any tips, it would be greatly appreciated. I am just at a loss at what to do.
submitted by Kurora55 to adhdwomen [link] [comments]
For years, I (24f) have been pacing in circles before I go to bed. I have been doing this seen my early teens, even before I was diagnosed to help regulate my mood and energy so I can get out any built up tension and energy from the day, allowing my brain to slow down enough my sleeping meds can work. I used to do it whenever I could, but as my family realized it was a regular thing that I couldn't stop doing, they got upset, and if I was caught doing this, I would get insulted, being told about how funny I looked pacing to music, or bugged about why I cant do things a "normal" way, like using a treadmill (I tried, it doesn't work, I don't keep a steady pace, I walk to the beat of the music which, you know, changes every song) or go for a walk (I live in a really bad area, so its completely unsafe to do so). So then I would move rooms so they couldn't see me.
Well, they would figure out which room I was using and when, then they would decide that they would be using that room at the times I was normally there (which I purposely chose so they would routinely be doing other things in other parts of the house). After being blocked from pretty much every room, I got relegated to the basement, which they would stuff with things into giant piles. This worked fine for a bit, because I worked evenings so I could pace after they went to bed. Even when I got laid off from that job, I could still be up late and tire myself out so I could get up and function.
Well, now my work schedule has changed from nights to early mornings, like I'm waking up at 3:30am, which means I have to go to bed hours before anyone else, blocking me from pacing. I am also very close to my period, and I have really bad PMS moods when I can regulate, and it is so much worse. Like my body is constantly twitching and moving way more than normal and I just feel so uncomfortable, like there are ants in my skin, which spirals into my anxiety, causing my neck to twitch a lot (anxiety symptom, which also then proceeds to get made fun of). My anxiety also makes the need to move worse, so it spirals and I can't get out of it. Or the need to move gets so much that its almost painful and I start to cry.
I currently cannot move out, due to me not even being in this new job long enough for my first paycheck, plus student debt and housing prices being so high ( like this new jobs pays me a good bit more and I couldnt afford a small bachelor without having at least 2 or 3 others there too). Just for a chance to have some privacy, I bought my own lock for my glorified closet of a room (I'm not joking, my twin bed takes up 3/4s of the space I have, so I cant even pace in this room since I will stub my toe constantly on my bed frame).
I cant just sit with my dog (since petting her helps a lot) because my family's dogs come and shove her out of the way and I get in trouble for telling them off. Cant go to therapy since my therapist feels bad for me (last time I went I got a genuine "I am so sorry that you have to just survive" and that is a whole deal I refuse to unpack. All my fidgets that I have are for my hands which doesn't help near as much since it doesn't engage my brain at the same time, and I am at a loss for what to do. Every alternative I have tried doesn't work either for me or for the situation, and I just wish I could explain things and have someone understand in my life. Hell, I had to blame the fact I get overwhelmed at the sound of a vacuums or loud music on the fact I have severe migraines, since it gives a reason why my brain just melts down when it happens.
I know I have to be patient, and see things through, but getting this one comfort I had for over half my life ripped away just really sucks. If anyone has read this far, and has any tips, it would be greatly appreciated. I am just at a loss at what to do.
2024.05.16 03:34 THEVYVYD 20m looking for an online BFF
Hey there! I'm 20m, in EST timezone/USA, and looking for any serious potential online BFFs (18-21). Do not message me if you're a minor.
Quick note, I'm a part of the LGBT+ community, so all people are welcome.
I'm incredibly shy and awkward, as well as an introvert, but I'd love to make a new friend I can talk to. Once I get comfortable, I become a professional yapper and can write long messages about anything I'm passionate about, but I do care more about you and what you're interested in.
I'm mostly passionate about video games, music, and writing/languages. I've made a little bit of art/graphic win the past but not anymore. Mostly focused on gaming, writing, and healthy habits/exercising at the moment.
I'm a native English speaker, but I'm currently learning Vietnamese for fun.
Why am I looking for a friend? I don't have any irl friends besides my siblings at the moment since I'm an indoorsy person and not in school, and my current online friends are all in different countries, so it's hard to chat or play video games with the different timezones. Id love to have a friend where we can hype each other up.
If you're interested, I'm more than happy to give my Instagram or discord privately once we chat here for a bit! Thank you for reading.
submitted by THEVYVYD to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]
Quick note, I'm a part of the LGBT+ community, so all people are welcome.
I'm incredibly shy and awkward, as well as an introvert, but I'd love to make a new friend I can talk to. Once I get comfortable, I become a professional yapper and can write long messages about anything I'm passionate about, but I do care more about you and what you're interested in.
I'm mostly passionate about video games, music, and writing/languages. I've made a little bit of art/graphic win the past but not anymore. Mostly focused on gaming, writing, and healthy habits/exercising at the moment.
I'm a native English speaker, but I'm currently learning Vietnamese for fun.
Why am I looking for a friend? I don't have any irl friends besides my siblings at the moment since I'm an indoorsy person and not in school, and my current online friends are all in different countries, so it's hard to chat or play video games with the different timezones. Id love to have a friend where we can hype each other up.
If you're interested, I'm more than happy to give my Instagram or discord privately once we chat here for a bit! Thank you for reading.
2024.05.16 03:33 Vespco Imagine Monero is outlawed: An "Ichthys" Message Protocol might aid in its continued adoption and improve user privacy.
In the very likely scenario that monero is outlawed, as I am sure it is on some places (esp. For goods and services), I think we should explore a mechanism to allow monero users to find one another and still use it as currency in a fashion that doesn't out themselves as Monero users.
I have talked about this before, and it's not the best, but I think is worth bringing up again, hopefully someone smarter than me can improve it:
there should be a messaging protocol that makes usernames or accounts based on the same exact address format as Monero addresses. Perhaps the private key of the messaging app is based on the private or public view key of your monero wallet.
This way you can signal to people: yes, I accept monero, more than likely, but have plausible deniability that you actually do accept monero.
The Jesus Fish, Ichthys, was used to signal to other Christians at a time when they were persecuted, that they were in good company.
"It has been claimed that Christians used it to recognize churches and other believers during a time when they faced persecution in the Roman Empire"
I can see where an online shop might have something like this:
Contact us on Ichthys: (XMR address) A buyer could then contact them: how much for this item plus shipping? Seller: "$100" (Buyer sends XMR to address) Buyer: oh, ok thank you. Can't afford that right now but I had one previously, I was wondering if I could get a free replacement? (Seller checks payment on blockchain and sees $100 was sent) Seller: in that case I am happy to send a free replacement.
(Ideally messaging app would be encrypted, but still as a sellebuyer act in such a way that the other could be an agent/Honeypot etc)
Admittedly it's kind of stupid, but the core concept makes sense to me: the one thing that reveals you are a monero user, or cryptocurrency user, is to send or display a monero address.
If we create other apps that also use monero addresses, then it's not strictly true. Maybe you only use the messaging app.
This arguably improves privacy of monero users outside of the protocol.
Would love others to put thoughts to this. Perhaps a scheme could be devised that looks entirely different than a monero address but a buyer could derive the XMR address from it that the seller has the private spend key to. That way it doesn't even seem monero-y
submitted by Vespco to Monero [link] [comments]
I have talked about this before, and it's not the best, but I think is worth bringing up again, hopefully someone smarter than me can improve it:
there should be a messaging protocol that makes usernames or accounts based on the same exact address format as Monero addresses. Perhaps the private key of the messaging app is based on the private or public view key of your monero wallet.
This way you can signal to people: yes, I accept monero, more than likely, but have plausible deniability that you actually do accept monero.
The Jesus Fish, Ichthys, was used to signal to other Christians at a time when they were persecuted, that they were in good company.
"It has been claimed that Christians used it to recognize churches and other believers during a time when they faced persecution in the Roman Empire"
I can see where an online shop might have something like this:
Contact us on Ichthys: (XMR address) A buyer could then contact them: how much for this item plus shipping? Seller: "$100" (Buyer sends XMR to address) Buyer: oh, ok thank you. Can't afford that right now but I had one previously, I was wondering if I could get a free replacement? (Seller checks payment on blockchain and sees $100 was sent) Seller: in that case I am happy to send a free replacement.
(Ideally messaging app would be encrypted, but still as a sellebuyer act in such a way that the other could be an agent/Honeypot etc)
Admittedly it's kind of stupid, but the core concept makes sense to me: the one thing that reveals you are a monero user, or cryptocurrency user, is to send or display a monero address.
If we create other apps that also use monero addresses, then it's not strictly true. Maybe you only use the messaging app.
This arguably improves privacy of monero users outside of the protocol.
Would love others to put thoughts to this. Perhaps a scheme could be devised that looks entirely different than a monero address but a buyer could derive the XMR address from it that the seller has the private spend key to. That way it doesn't even seem monero-y
2024.05.16 03:33 intro_man_ambivert I can’t believe I’m here in life at almost 25 years old.
I’m 24 (M) 25 in October… and I’m a bit behind in life. I still live at home… Rent free… And I’m blessed at my grandparents let me live here rent free and I’m very thankful for that… however the only reason they let me do that is because they know I can’t afford it like that… I would rather be financially able to be independent. I should’ve had my own crib by now… I also don’t have a car and I should’ve had that by now…
I’m also inexperienced in dating… never made it out of the talking stage with a woman… I’ve never been on a date… I’ve never been kissed… I’m a virgin… just overall really inexperienced. I often get rejected by the types of women I desire of my preferred standards both online in person… I don’t have game. Half of the time I don’t even get followed back on Instagram.
Also I unfortunately had to quit my job today yet again… because of some false accusations they were accusing me of so I wasn’t having it and in the heat of the moment… I quit on them.
So I’m on the search for a new job… hopefully, I’ll get one soon… I want to career and graphic design, but there’s not a lot to offer for that in my small town… I plan to relocate to a new city and start over… but right now I have no car… and I’m currently saving for one. I’m looking for a decent used car with working AC and good for road travel. I’m gonna have to save at least 10K for the car… I was originally planning on under 5K… but car prices (even for used cars) are going up like crazy… then I need to save at least 15K to relocate to a new city. You need 3X your monthly rent and the cost of a U-Haul. It’s expensive… plus I need to have a job/ career lined up in my new city… preferably a graphic design job. (I’m not going back to school… I believe it’s very doable without a degree and know plenty that landed a career in that field without it)…
Also I send way too much time… WAY TOO MUCH TIME sitting in my bedroom… there’s just not a lot to do in my small town… and I don’t have a car to drive to other big cities and do things. Also a lot of my friends are either always hanging out with people I don’t get along with, or busy with their own things. I have friends but again… a lot of them either busy or live outside of here. I spend far more time in my bedroom than I’d ever care to admit… my life is WAY TOO SHELTERED.
But yeah, I’m really tired of being here in life right now… I have friends younger than me that are married and have kids…. One of my friends (he’s 22) just graduated from university and he’s about to play professional basketball,…. This one girl that I use to be cool with a few years back (she’s 23) also just graduated university as well and is about to get an amazing career… (proud of her)… and one of my childhood friends (my age, 24) just had a daughter… he graduated from university back in 2021 and he bought his own house like 2 years ago now. I also have friends that own their own clothing lines and businesses and own their own custom shoe business, etc.
Don’t get me wrong I’m very happy for them… I’m not bitter… I’m proud of them… they earned it and they worked for it… but it makes me look at my own situation like I’m a fool… I know they say don’t compare yourself to others that comparison is the thief of joy or whatever… the truth be told… that’s all I can do… I remember 2018/2019 when I was on the same level as them… and back then I thought I’d accomplish a bit more than what have… fast forward.. and I’ve only accomplished a little bit… I’m like 2-3 steps ahead of where I was back in 2018-2019… and they’re like 2-3 whole entire flights of stairs above where they were…
Also not just in terms of their career… but really in terms of grown as a whole… they’ve grown in terms of confidence,… their social skills have improved quite a bit… knowledge,… They’ve been able to travel a lot more… they’ve really grown a lot as people and I’m so proud of them… like I said back in 2018-2019 I was on the same level as them (and many other of my friends… or maybe even back then I was a few steps below)… they’ve gotten probably.. 70% better in terms of grown… I’ve only gotten like 10% better! I have so much to work on in terms of confidence,… public speaking,… social skills,.. fitness, etc.
I’m not looking for validation… please be honest with me… is it pathetic that I’m here right now?…. What’s the fastest way I can work my way out of this and fix all these things?
submitted by intro_man_ambivert to Healthygamergg [link] [comments]
I’m also inexperienced in dating… never made it out of the talking stage with a woman… I’ve never been on a date… I’ve never been kissed… I’m a virgin… just overall really inexperienced. I often get rejected by the types of women I desire of my preferred standards both online in person… I don’t have game. Half of the time I don’t even get followed back on Instagram.
Also I unfortunately had to quit my job today yet again… because of some false accusations they were accusing me of so I wasn’t having it and in the heat of the moment… I quit on them.
So I’m on the search for a new job… hopefully, I’ll get one soon… I want to career and graphic design, but there’s not a lot to offer for that in my small town… I plan to relocate to a new city and start over… but right now I have no car… and I’m currently saving for one. I’m looking for a decent used car with working AC and good for road travel. I’m gonna have to save at least 10K for the car… I was originally planning on under 5K… but car prices (even for used cars) are going up like crazy… then I need to save at least 15K to relocate to a new city. You need 3X your monthly rent and the cost of a U-Haul. It’s expensive… plus I need to have a job/ career lined up in my new city… preferably a graphic design job. (I’m not going back to school… I believe it’s very doable without a degree and know plenty that landed a career in that field without it)…
Also I send way too much time… WAY TOO MUCH TIME sitting in my bedroom… there’s just not a lot to do in my small town… and I don’t have a car to drive to other big cities and do things. Also a lot of my friends are either always hanging out with people I don’t get along with, or busy with their own things. I have friends but again… a lot of them either busy or live outside of here. I spend far more time in my bedroom than I’d ever care to admit… my life is WAY TOO SHELTERED.
But yeah, I’m really tired of being here in life right now… I have friends younger than me that are married and have kids…. One of my friends (he’s 22) just graduated from university and he’s about to play professional basketball,…. This one girl that I use to be cool with a few years back (she’s 23) also just graduated university as well and is about to get an amazing career… (proud of her)… and one of my childhood friends (my age, 24) just had a daughter… he graduated from university back in 2021 and he bought his own house like 2 years ago now. I also have friends that own their own clothing lines and businesses and own their own custom shoe business, etc.
Don’t get me wrong I’m very happy for them… I’m not bitter… I’m proud of them… they earned it and they worked for it… but it makes me look at my own situation like I’m a fool… I know they say don’t compare yourself to others that comparison is the thief of joy or whatever… the truth be told… that’s all I can do… I remember 2018/2019 when I was on the same level as them… and back then I thought I’d accomplish a bit more than what have… fast forward.. and I’ve only accomplished a little bit… I’m like 2-3 steps ahead of where I was back in 2018-2019… and they’re like 2-3 whole entire flights of stairs above where they were…
Also not just in terms of their career… but really in terms of grown as a whole… they’ve grown in terms of confidence,… their social skills have improved quite a bit… knowledge,… They’ve been able to travel a lot more… they’ve really grown a lot as people and I’m so proud of them… like I said back in 2018-2019 I was on the same level as them (and many other of my friends… or maybe even back then I was a few steps below)… they’ve gotten probably.. 70% better in terms of grown… I’ve only gotten like 10% better! I have so much to work on in terms of confidence,… public speaking,… social skills,.. fitness, etc.
I’m not looking for validation… please be honest with me… is it pathetic that I’m here right now?…. What’s the fastest way I can work my way out of this and fix all these things?
2024.05.16 03:31 Engineering_Geek Boomers OP! Learn how to get job like me now!
About me, Job compensation + benefits, CoL for reference
About me:- Ethnicity + Name: Indian (south asian) as hell.
- Work experience: 3+ years of co-op / internships. (Didn't matter, read full post). No big name internships, just random startups.
- University: University of Waterloo (Mech eng Bachelors; robotics / AI / ML background)
- Graduated 2023, 2.1 GPA
- Applications sent: over 10,000; this is not a joke. Shotgun approach mostly.
- Interviews: 5. Not 50 or 500, but FIVE.
- Disabilities: Autism / Aspergers. Made the interviews hell for me.
- $70,000 Base (salaried, boss doesn't care if I leave early as long as I get work done)
- Work as little time as you want as long as you get the work done. I work 5 hrs a day on average now.
- $10,000-30,000 Profit sharing + Bonuses (directly put into 401k / Roth, company does additional 4x matching for bonuses only; reaching bonuses literally made a senior engineer a multi-millionaire here over 20 years in his 401k).
- Guaranteed raise after 6 months of stay / onboarding finished.
- Subsidized Masters / Ph.D. sponsored by the company.
- Full health + life + vision + dental insurance.
- Contracted inflation pay raise every year.
- Weekly pay.
- Paid maternity + paternity.
- Vacations whenever, just make sure you get your job done on time and let manager know before hand. Any vacation over 1 week must be approved by HR and other management levels. Be reasonable about how often you take it (Senior devs often take 1-2 weeks off every 2 months unless tight deadlines).
- Boss literally told me to go the fuck home when I tried staying overtime out of guilt / confusion.
- Low? Breakdown below, idk how to determine.
- Studio apartment + internet + heat + water < $1050.
- Average food cost (groceries + eating out every other day + weekly pizza) < $400.
- Loaf of bread for reference: $1.99
- Downsides: neighbor won't stop smoking weed; the smell is annoying every Friday. Ugh.
- Downsides: Extremely car-centric area; no public transportation.
Listen to the goddamn Boomers / Gen X folks here
As much as the older folks are 'behind the times', you need to remember who is still disproportionately in charge of companies and how they are structured, even in the tech sector. Hell, I had my dad (the BOOMIEST BOOMER I know) help me out.I went to my 7th job fair after graduation about 2-3 months ago (Feb 2024) and my dad came with me as moral support. Just as usual with most job fairs, there isn't anyone there actively recruiting for engineering / IT / software roles because of the current market. BUT, my dad was having a 'fun' chat with the CTO of a random medium sized company and they both hit it off HARD. Both of them were born in the same part of India, went to the same temples there, and they just kept on chatting. Next thing I know, this same CTO came to me and asked if I was competent at engineering and he'd like to interview me on the spot, but sadly his company had no open software roles. I agreed.
I shit you not, this test was this simple and BLEW it:
- What is Ohms law? (I got this right)
- What is an inverter? (I got this wrong)
- What is a diode? What is it's symbol? (I got this right)
- Explain what an LED is and what it's symbol is. (I got this half right)
- What is the purpose of a rectifier? (I got this wrong)
- Questions about embedded C/C++ (I don't even know the language well T.T)
1 week later
I met the R&D guy. Something I noticed is that this whole department was filled with dinosaurs. Not a single human within a 1 km radius appeared below the age of 50 outside of the technicians / trades folk. These dinos didn't even know how to post a job online without the help of HR (I'm sure everyone here knows how HR writes posts and filters applications). Just after half an hour of talking and the R&D manager apparently loved me because "this kid knows jack shit but he's a sponge, he'll learn faster than anyone else we got", which is apparently what R&D is actively looking for in fresh recruits.
Then bam-bam-boom, I got my position starting at this pay, with a guaranteed pay boost after onboarding + training is finished in 6 months, while I bombed every interview question / test. My position is as an R&D Engineer specializing in Embedded Design / Programming. Hell, one of my first projects is to tinker around and try to create and integrate a custom trained AI model with Altium to see if the autopathing system and autolayouts can be made better and human centric if possible.
I looked into this company's history and they have an average employee tenure of 10+ years without a single person ever being laid off ever since 1985. People wouldn't actively stay at a company that long without job hopping if the pay wasn't satisfactory or if it was toxic. Plus it was written into my contract that base pay is tied to inflation!
What are the lessons here?
- Don't quit. It's a shitty market, but a 0.01% chance is INFINITELY better than 0% if you stop trying.
- Have a boomer / gen x person help you network and connect you with other boomer / gen x people. Boomers and Gen X folks hire more based on word of mouth and interactions than younger folk like me who focus on the 'skills' part of the resume.
- Become a sponge. The more absorbent you are and the more questions you ask, the more the senior engineers will love you and actively want you on their team.
- Target industries that are filled with older folks in white collar positions (assuming you want white collar positions). Here are some examples:
- Metallurgy (filled with trades people and old engineers, they are actively looking for fresh blood in white collar areas).
- Agriculture (mechanization).
- Carpentry (same as metallurgy above).
- Welding companies (they have active R&D for building welding machines, just like metallurgy and carpentry sectors).
- Learn, learn, and learn. Especially for the first job you get, especially so if you don't have internships / co-op experience, people will look for your ability to learn. How fast can you learn everything we teach you?
- HR seldom knows what the company wants / needs when they post job listings. Getting out there and talking to NOT the recruiters but the engineers will give you that edge. Bonus points if you also do bullet point 2.
- Be ambitious with your future goals. Not just pretend; you'll run out of steam. If you are ambitious despite your current situation, people will see it and engineers / senior developers will like it. That was also one of the things a senior there liked about me and explicitly said "you're ambitions behind closed doors, I love it, you'll go far and I hope you take the company there with you; more profits for all of us!".
- Nepotism isn't the right word for how many here think of the job situation, it's just much MUCH more networking than previously thought. This has it's own issues like for those from disadvantaged / foreign backgrounds, but this world isn't fair, and that won't change reality.
2024.05.16 03:25 DependentCalm5095 Thinking/considering a move to semi off grid Kootenays, BC from Montreal, QC
Hello dear fellow people,
Another 23589647th post about moving to BC.
Alright so this is the backstory, This is going to be a little long read;
So,
Been thinking about moving to BC from Montreal in the last few months/year, however this post might be different from previous topics posted here because the goal is kind of pretty different and specific;
Looking to experience a different lifestyle in a more quiet area to have some space and lone time while trying to have some social life around from time to time.
It would be a move to some small towns/remote vacant land with not so many people area the main reasons would be not to be around a lot of people and have a peace of mind and to live kind of secluded from the rest of the world and live in semi-autarchy and rely on almost nobody and do stuff like planting /harvesting fruits and vegetables /weed/mushrooms, own a shotgun for self defense and drive a F150, live with a woman and a dog/cat with that comes with it and not be bothered by anybody and be close to the outdoor (parks, ocean, beaches,...) but at the same time as stated earlier be able to participate to some social events from time to time.
It'd be mostly in the Kootenay Lake area which looks pretty nice and can be taken in consideration. The ideal dream would be going to some small towns around Nelson for example with some good communities nearby.
More likely to buy some small vacant land and build a cabin on it potentially. Sadly I don't have a lot of experience/skills in construction but twilling to learn.
About me: late 20s francophone immigrant from Europe who's been living in the country for quite a few years. Single no kids, trying to save as much money as possible.
Jobwise, it would be with a remote job so that wouldn't be an issue regarding bills and expenses but could rethink and reconsider another career path such as trades at some point, there are thoughts about living off the land but that's a whole other level of hardcore living.
Fully aware of the cost living in BC is abysmal (especially real estate) there, however with this lifestyle it might potentially be feasible somehow as expenses would be reduced and it could be the only way to own a home in this country.
There are some concerns and questions though;
People in BC are polite and chill but also passive/passive-aggressive, cliquey and not very accepting to foreigners. How hard is it to make friends there? Isn't there a big NIMBYism mindset in that area?
Since I'm a francophone from Europe, would that cause a problem? Used to live in Toronto and got some snarky remarks at times. Here in Montreal, it's okayish. Also you might find this a little silly, but would it be possible to access some services in French (ie healthcare)?
How is dating overall in BC? For sure options would be limited when you live in secluded areas for sure but how's that different from the east coast?
What about crime? someone from my home country got murdered while on a roadtrip westward to Vancouver.
How about the healthcare situation? Do you have to wait for hours in the ER to see someone? Does it also take months to see a doctospecialist? Is there good quality care though?
And then the wildfires? It really looked completely insane after having looked online and living close to a fire hazard area in the summer would be pretty worrying as it could burn down your house/cabin. With all the health related problems it would cause as well.
Are there any people in this group that are currently living this lifestyle and wouldn't mind sharing a little bit?
For the record, it's still being thought out and this move might happen within the next few years and is subject to change. You still have to learn on how to build and plan accordingly.
Plan on going on a roadtrip and live there for 6 months at least in about a year to taste the water (never been out west before).
Thanks in advance to anyone willing to answer!
submitted by DependentCalm5095 to kootenays [link] [comments]
Another 23589647th post about moving to BC.
Alright so this is the backstory, This is going to be a little long read;
So,
Been thinking about moving to BC from Montreal in the last few months/year, however this post might be different from previous topics posted here because the goal is kind of pretty different and specific;
Looking to experience a different lifestyle in a more quiet area to have some space and lone time while trying to have some social life around from time to time.
It would be a move to some small towns/remote vacant land with not so many people area the main reasons would be not to be around a lot of people and have a peace of mind and to live kind of secluded from the rest of the world and live in semi-autarchy and rely on almost nobody and do stuff like planting /harvesting fruits and vegetables /weed/mushrooms, own a shotgun for self defense and drive a F150, live with a woman and a dog/cat with that comes with it and not be bothered by anybody and be close to the outdoor (parks, ocean, beaches,...) but at the same time as stated earlier be able to participate to some social events from time to time.
It'd be mostly in the Kootenay Lake area which looks pretty nice and can be taken in consideration. The ideal dream would be going to some small towns around Nelson for example with some good communities nearby.
More likely to buy some small vacant land and build a cabin on it potentially. Sadly I don't have a lot of experience/skills in construction but twilling to learn.
About me: late 20s francophone immigrant from Europe who's been living in the country for quite a few years. Single no kids, trying to save as much money as possible.
Jobwise, it would be with a remote job so that wouldn't be an issue regarding bills and expenses but could rethink and reconsider another career path such as trades at some point, there are thoughts about living off the land but that's a whole other level of hardcore living.
Fully aware of the cost living in BC is abysmal (especially real estate) there, however with this lifestyle it might potentially be feasible somehow as expenses would be reduced and it could be the only way to own a home in this country.
There are some concerns and questions though;
People in BC are polite and chill but also passive/passive-aggressive, cliquey and not very accepting to foreigners. How hard is it to make friends there? Isn't there a big NIMBYism mindset in that area?
Since I'm a francophone from Europe, would that cause a problem? Used to live in Toronto and got some snarky remarks at times. Here in Montreal, it's okayish. Also you might find this a little silly, but would it be possible to access some services in French (ie healthcare)?
How is dating overall in BC? For sure options would be limited when you live in secluded areas for sure but how's that different from the east coast?
What about crime? someone from my home country got murdered while on a roadtrip westward to Vancouver.
How about the healthcare situation? Do you have to wait for hours in the ER to see someone? Does it also take months to see a doctospecialist? Is there good quality care though?
And then the wildfires? It really looked completely insane after having looked online and living close to a fire hazard area in the summer would be pretty worrying as it could burn down your house/cabin. With all the health related problems it would cause as well.
Are there any people in this group that are currently living this lifestyle and wouldn't mind sharing a little bit?
For the record, it's still being thought out and this move might happen within the next few years and is subject to change. You still have to learn on how to build and plan accordingly.
Plan on going on a roadtrip and live there for 6 months at least in about a year to taste the water (never been out west before).
Thanks in advance to anyone willing to answer!
2024.05.16 03:24 ObnoxiouslyConfusedd Questions wether or not my parents are really ‘that bad’..
So hello everyone. I chose to join this community because I really need people to reach out with 😭
sorry if thus makes no sense logically in the way I write, I’m kinda burnt out and just had to write a really stressful essay so my brain is completelyfried ☠️
tw: physical and mental abuse, SH, possible SA
since I was about 6-7, I moved into a new home. My mom sort of restarted herself, joining social medias and such, reaching out to friends. My dad just… is my dad. The stereotypical homophobic guy you read about. iykyk. since then, my mom has basically believed everything she sees. At around 7 1/2, she established a 30 minute screen time rule. If I broke it, i’d be grounded for 2 weeks. Sometimes I’d sneak into their room and use it, but was often caught. i grew up in a family where talking about things I liked would criminalize me. So I didn’t. I learned To not talk, to not feel in front of them. To be a perfect little kid. I grew Up hiding pretty much everything I didn’t want them to see. the pretty basic ‘you can talk to me’, etc was constantly on me- lovebombing, then yelling, etc etc.
so far I have a couple undiagnosed mental issues my parents both refuse To akoknowlege- autism, adhd. I can TELL on everything I have some form of OCD. The only medical condition that is confirmed it Motor Tick. It’s annoying as hell. I’ll get into that later.
according to my mom, and my dad but specifically my mom, I am ‘too young’ to know if I should be evaluated for any of the things I’ve preciously listed. I suffer day to day with overstimulation and panic attacks. She refuses to even take notice. I recently got into NJHS and she made it very clear I had to join. It wasn’t even a choice anymore. I ended up very stressed, as always.
according to my mom, which, to her, I am nothing but a Cishet girl, I need to be ladylike. Formal, even for school, dresses and skirts only. Only because of my amazing friends and boyfriend have I managed to wear anything but. I’m very dysphoric and have pretty severe body issues. Because of this I often self harm, which is dangerous because I do competitive swim and soccer, so there is very little places to hide scars.
a lot of my life I’ve been manipulated, forced into beliefs I don’t believe in- my entire family is Christian and look down upon anyone who isn’t. I’m the entire opposite. This causes arguments, especially when my mom checks my phone.
on my phone my mom downloaded a parental service called bark. Parents on here, if any.
please, please, please please please please lPlease PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU NEVER GET THIS FOR YOUR CHILD. If you really want a tracker, use a different one, like life360 or something, only under 15-16 or so, PLEASE. Don’t. It’s ripped ALL of my privacy, all of my life. I cant talk to my only online friends- my strongest connections. My best friends. People I love like siblings. people who were more of a father to me than my own.
winding Back to Motor Tick. For me, it used to be a repetitive clearing of my throat, but now it’s a small twitch in my upper stomach. It makes me twitch like I’m jumping at something that surprises me, but only I little. It’s only noticeable in some cases. But my mom and dad? They always notice. I do it while eatign without thinking, and suddenly I’m getting yelled at for disrespecting them. all the time. riding my bike? My bike gets taken if I twitch, wether it be from Motor Tick or not. Everything gets taken. I’ve had my HOMEWORK confiscated and then yelled at by my teachers because they don’t believe me.
speaking of punishments. Some often include: pushing down stairs, not being allowed to sleep, no food until after bedtime (strictly not allowed to leave room after, not even for water.) I have to stock food in my room which is also very not allowed.
my doors aren’t allowed to be locked, not even when changing. (this is the SA part Following this) My dad sits outside the door when I shower , sometimes watching the curtain, sometimes watching ME. He sometimes, to rub it in, will make comments on my body. My weight fluctuates due to my instability in many factors, so I’m constantly dissed for my weight, wether it be under or over HIS beauty standard. His. My DAD.
honestly why I’m saying all this is because I’ve been gaslighted enough to still want my parents around, even though I want so bad to get out of here and cut them off. And I don’t know if this is abuse or not. Help, also thanks for reading!
submitted by ObnoxiouslyConfusedd to abusiveparents [link] [comments]
sorry if thus makes no sense logically in the way I write, I’m kinda burnt out and just had to write a really stressful essay so my brain is completelyfried ☠️
tw: physical and mental abuse, SH, possible SA
since I was about 6-7, I moved into a new home. My mom sort of restarted herself, joining social medias and such, reaching out to friends. My dad just… is my dad. The stereotypical homophobic guy you read about. iykyk. since then, my mom has basically believed everything she sees. At around 7 1/2, she established a 30 minute screen time rule. If I broke it, i’d be grounded for 2 weeks. Sometimes I’d sneak into their room and use it, but was often caught. i grew up in a family where talking about things I liked would criminalize me. So I didn’t. I learned To not talk, to not feel in front of them. To be a perfect little kid. I grew Up hiding pretty much everything I didn’t want them to see. the pretty basic ‘you can talk to me’, etc was constantly on me- lovebombing, then yelling, etc etc.
so far I have a couple undiagnosed mental issues my parents both refuse To akoknowlege- autism, adhd. I can TELL on everything I have some form of OCD. The only medical condition that is confirmed it Motor Tick. It’s annoying as hell. I’ll get into that later.
according to my mom, and my dad but specifically my mom, I am ‘too young’ to know if I should be evaluated for any of the things I’ve preciously listed. I suffer day to day with overstimulation and panic attacks. She refuses to even take notice. I recently got into NJHS and she made it very clear I had to join. It wasn’t even a choice anymore. I ended up very stressed, as always.
according to my mom, which, to her, I am nothing but a Cishet girl, I need to be ladylike. Formal, even for school, dresses and skirts only. Only because of my amazing friends and boyfriend have I managed to wear anything but. I’m very dysphoric and have pretty severe body issues. Because of this I often self harm, which is dangerous because I do competitive swim and soccer, so there is very little places to hide scars.
a lot of my life I’ve been manipulated, forced into beliefs I don’t believe in- my entire family is Christian and look down upon anyone who isn’t. I’m the entire opposite. This causes arguments, especially when my mom checks my phone.
on my phone my mom downloaded a parental service called bark. Parents on here, if any.
please, please, please please please please lPlease PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU NEVER GET THIS FOR YOUR CHILD. If you really want a tracker, use a different one, like life360 or something, only under 15-16 or so, PLEASE. Don’t. It’s ripped ALL of my privacy, all of my life. I cant talk to my only online friends- my strongest connections. My best friends. People I love like siblings. people who were more of a father to me than my own.
winding Back to Motor Tick. For me, it used to be a repetitive clearing of my throat, but now it’s a small twitch in my upper stomach. It makes me twitch like I’m jumping at something that surprises me, but only I little. It’s only noticeable in some cases. But my mom and dad? They always notice. I do it while eatign without thinking, and suddenly I’m getting yelled at for disrespecting them. all the time. riding my bike? My bike gets taken if I twitch, wether it be from Motor Tick or not. Everything gets taken. I’ve had my HOMEWORK confiscated and then yelled at by my teachers because they don’t believe me.
speaking of punishments. Some often include: pushing down stairs, not being allowed to sleep, no food until after bedtime (strictly not allowed to leave room after, not even for water.) I have to stock food in my room which is also very not allowed.
my doors aren’t allowed to be locked, not even when changing. (this is the SA part Following this) My dad sits outside the door when I shower , sometimes watching the curtain, sometimes watching ME. He sometimes, to rub it in, will make comments on my body. My weight fluctuates due to my instability in many factors, so I’m constantly dissed for my weight, wether it be under or over HIS beauty standard. His. My DAD.
honestly why I’m saying all this is because I’ve been gaslighted enough to still want my parents around, even though I want so bad to get out of here and cut them off. And I don’t know if this is abuse or not. Help, also thanks for reading!
2024.05.16 03:24 NoOz1985 To all of you who misses their ghoster deeply. Having them back won't make it better. Even after forgiveness. It's always them, not you.
I posted my story of my ghoster (ex bf) who ghosted me 21 years ago. When he and I were just 20. We had a long distance relationship for 3.5 years where we traveled countries to see each other. He was truly my first love. I was madly in love with him. Even though he wasn't my first bf. He was the one that mattered and the one that got away. In the end he cheated on me emotionally and then ghosted me while I was back in my home country. It took me 2.5 years to get past that cause he didn't give me any answers. In a matter of weeks we went from planning for me to come and live with him abroad to no contact. I did not see that coming and I was completely in shock, numb, gutted, a dagger in the chest. My first love.. And me being his, he said... Doing that to me.. Nope. I figured out years later he was still with the woman he cheated on me with and she's been making his life a living hell apparantly. He divorced her in 2016 and got together with his new wife after that. And married her last year and has kids with both women. I cried for 2.5 years when he ghosted. Insane. Knowing what I know now.
You guys were very brutally honest. This man doesn't deserve anything from me, you said. I was called insane and stupid to have him in my life again. He's an Asshole, etc. I've been with my current partner for 20 years. And he had seen upclose what the ghosting did to me back in the day and to my trust and said I should confront him. I have the best partner in the world and wouldn't jeopardise that in any way. He is my best friend, my soul mate and we are on the same level emotionally. Both HSP. And we talk a lot and I tell him everything. So I have no romantic interest in my ex bf. He will never be able to get that close to me ever again. Especially not now, now I'm older and noticing it was never me, he certainly has issues that 21 years later he still hasn't addressed.
But then he found me on snapchat last Oct. I had nothing but fond memories of him rushing back in. Memories I had blocked for years. We didn't speak about what had happened and how hurt I was cause I simply did not have those intense memories and feelings when I started talking again. They all hit me later. I've had lovely conversation with him about his kids and his life. I was enjoying it. But I was cautious. Ppl on here told me to break it off with him, that it wasn't fair to my partner. Etc etc. But my partner did not mind. He said I should try and find some closure if that's still possible. My friends said he owes me an apology. And I agreed. I needed an sincere apology.
So i poured my heart out to him, screamed, cried, was upset in the whatsapp. (send him voice memos since he kept saying he couldn't find the time to call) And he apologised trough whatsapp. And over and over again. Saying he was immature. I didn't agree. Ghosting isn't about being immature. It's cruel. And damaging. So I demanded a phone call. He was really trying to tell me on WhatsApp that he'd do anything to help me feel better. So I said I needed a phone call cause I felt he was dodging it. He agreed to ring. But i then noticed he's socially very VERY awkward. Emotionally closed off and suffers trauma. I've worked and work with traumatised ppl and adults who have autism and it hit me there and then: he has both!! And all of a sudden
I started to see the bigger picture. That it was never me asking to much of him. It was him not even being able to have a normal conversation about feelings and emotions. His son is in the process of getting a autism diagnosis as well and he has no idea how to handle it. By experience I can tell he's autistic. He told me what his ex wife did to him and that he never can speak his mind and he never did. She physically and mentally abused him for years. And where our normal gut feeling would be to get the fuck out of a relationship like that. He stayed and thought it was all normal. Until she left him and it started to dawn on him what just happened.
I remember back in the day when I confronted him about his cheating and his sudden distance from me (he breadcrumbed me during the last holiday I was with him for 4 weeks, mind fucking me about him not being sure about us all of a sudden before he ghosted) . And he he had great issues expressing his feelings. I was super mad offcourse. It was life altering for me. The betrayal I felt.. The depression I slipped into. It was real. But I was his age and had no issues with expressing myself. We were 20 so I never thought anything of it.)
He likes to hide behind the computer. Has issues expressing himself can't deal with emotions well. He's been abused by his ex (in his own words: karma) and he still has to deal with her cause they have a son together. It is rather cruel and she is not well mentally so I do feel for him somewhat. But indeed: karma. It's no excuse at all and I'm not trying to downplay anything but I can finally look at it from a distance now and see where his issues lye.
And even though no one advice me to let him back into my life again. I'm glad I did.
On the phone I talked about what the ghosting has done to me in my formative years and what an impact it had. He listened carefully. And told me he could not have handled things worse than he did. He came clean on the emotionally cheating part (he had no choice cause he didn't know I talked to his friends back then and they told me he was lying) and he said he wished he made different choices. It was all very distant. The tone of voice, the way he spoke.. I just got it. We weren't seeing eye to eye. He had no intonation when he speaks, the way he handles things in life, he doesn't notice other ppls emotions and feelings. Even tho he is a kind person.
But I just came to the realisation that having a friendship with him is nearly impossible. Not because of the ghosting. Cause I am willing to forgive him now he's showed me some remorse. No one seems to understood that but a few. I can't hold grudges anymore, it costs energy. I can see he's actually not a bad person, even tho ghosting says everything about him. Even 21 years later it feels he's stuck in a teens way of emotional thinking. And that has helped me to realise that I can't have this friendship with. I was hoping to see him at some point. Me and my partner go to the UK a lot and It would've been possible for me to grab a coffee with him. But i don't think hell be able to handle small talk. It's just so weird that he has these issues and I never noticed back in the day.
Ghosting is never ok. Cause he was able to maintain relationship with his ex straight after he ghosted me. So he was able to have some sort of emotional interaction with ppl. But I don't gel with him now because of his issues and that's helped me to realise that having the ghoster back in your life isn't going to change anything.
I didn't get answers other than that he was immature, a few lame apologies.. But he listened. And I noticed something is up with him. And that has changed my entire perspective. It's no excuse. But I kinda feel sorry for him now. And notice how much I've grown after that. I sought guidance and counseling cause I was depressed. He never addressed any of his trauma. He hides away and freezes when emotions need to be dealt with. He is kind and caring. But it's a very superficial and robot like even.
He is emotionally too immature to have a proper friendship with, in my opinion. So idk if I'll ever see him. Which I hoped for but I now know it's not possible. It'll be an online contact from now on. So I don't feel satisfied at all. I don't have closure or answers. But I do see the bigger picture now. I've never been able to think about him in all these 21 years. It hurt me too much so I blocked things out. It traumatised me very much. The fact that we've shared some fond memories that he certainly hasn't forgotten over all these years was nice. And it has to be enough. I've forgiven him but have now told him I can't do this superficial friendship. And stick to a unpersonal whatsapp contact. Cause I feel that's all he feels comfortable with. With him being autistic and traumatised.
It feels very unsatisfactory, but it is what it is. He can't give me the same level of emotional maturity. Its helped me to move on tho. And we're being civil. How could I have fallen for this emotionally very unstable guy??
Just wanted to share my story.
submitted by NoOz1985 to ghosting [link] [comments]
You guys were very brutally honest. This man doesn't deserve anything from me, you said. I was called insane and stupid to have him in my life again. He's an Asshole, etc. I've been with my current partner for 20 years. And he had seen upclose what the ghosting did to me back in the day and to my trust and said I should confront him. I have the best partner in the world and wouldn't jeopardise that in any way. He is my best friend, my soul mate and we are on the same level emotionally. Both HSP. And we talk a lot and I tell him everything. So I have no romantic interest in my ex bf. He will never be able to get that close to me ever again. Especially not now, now I'm older and noticing it was never me, he certainly has issues that 21 years later he still hasn't addressed.
But then he found me on snapchat last Oct. I had nothing but fond memories of him rushing back in. Memories I had blocked for years. We didn't speak about what had happened and how hurt I was cause I simply did not have those intense memories and feelings when I started talking again. They all hit me later. I've had lovely conversation with him about his kids and his life. I was enjoying it. But I was cautious. Ppl on here told me to break it off with him, that it wasn't fair to my partner. Etc etc. But my partner did not mind. He said I should try and find some closure if that's still possible. My friends said he owes me an apology. And I agreed. I needed an sincere apology.
So i poured my heart out to him, screamed, cried, was upset in the whatsapp. (send him voice memos since he kept saying he couldn't find the time to call) And he apologised trough whatsapp. And over and over again. Saying he was immature. I didn't agree. Ghosting isn't about being immature. It's cruel. And damaging. So I demanded a phone call. He was really trying to tell me on WhatsApp that he'd do anything to help me feel better. So I said I needed a phone call cause I felt he was dodging it. He agreed to ring. But i then noticed he's socially very VERY awkward. Emotionally closed off and suffers trauma. I've worked and work with traumatised ppl and adults who have autism and it hit me there and then: he has both!! And all of a sudden
I started to see the bigger picture. That it was never me asking to much of him. It was him not even being able to have a normal conversation about feelings and emotions. His son is in the process of getting a autism diagnosis as well and he has no idea how to handle it. By experience I can tell he's autistic. He told me what his ex wife did to him and that he never can speak his mind and he never did. She physically and mentally abused him for years. And where our normal gut feeling would be to get the fuck out of a relationship like that. He stayed and thought it was all normal. Until she left him and it started to dawn on him what just happened.
I remember back in the day when I confronted him about his cheating and his sudden distance from me (he breadcrumbed me during the last holiday I was with him for 4 weeks, mind fucking me about him not being sure about us all of a sudden before he ghosted) . And he he had great issues expressing his feelings. I was super mad offcourse. It was life altering for me. The betrayal I felt.. The depression I slipped into. It was real. But I was his age and had no issues with expressing myself. We were 20 so I never thought anything of it.)
He likes to hide behind the computer. Has issues expressing himself can't deal with emotions well. He's been abused by his ex (in his own words: karma) and he still has to deal with her cause they have a son together. It is rather cruel and she is not well mentally so I do feel for him somewhat. But indeed: karma. It's no excuse at all and I'm not trying to downplay anything but I can finally look at it from a distance now and see where his issues lye.
And even though no one advice me to let him back into my life again. I'm glad I did.
On the phone I talked about what the ghosting has done to me in my formative years and what an impact it had. He listened carefully. And told me he could not have handled things worse than he did. He came clean on the emotionally cheating part (he had no choice cause he didn't know I talked to his friends back then and they told me he was lying) and he said he wished he made different choices. It was all very distant. The tone of voice, the way he spoke.. I just got it. We weren't seeing eye to eye. He had no intonation when he speaks, the way he handles things in life, he doesn't notice other ppls emotions and feelings. Even tho he is a kind person.
But I just came to the realisation that having a friendship with him is nearly impossible. Not because of the ghosting. Cause I am willing to forgive him now he's showed me some remorse. No one seems to understood that but a few. I can't hold grudges anymore, it costs energy. I can see he's actually not a bad person, even tho ghosting says everything about him. Even 21 years later it feels he's stuck in a teens way of emotional thinking. And that has helped me to realise that I can't have this friendship with. I was hoping to see him at some point. Me and my partner go to the UK a lot and It would've been possible for me to grab a coffee with him. But i don't think hell be able to handle small talk. It's just so weird that he has these issues and I never noticed back in the day.
Ghosting is never ok. Cause he was able to maintain relationship with his ex straight after he ghosted me. So he was able to have some sort of emotional interaction with ppl. But I don't gel with him now because of his issues and that's helped me to realise that having the ghoster back in your life isn't going to change anything.
I didn't get answers other than that he was immature, a few lame apologies.. But he listened. And I noticed something is up with him. And that has changed my entire perspective. It's no excuse. But I kinda feel sorry for him now. And notice how much I've grown after that. I sought guidance and counseling cause I was depressed. He never addressed any of his trauma. He hides away and freezes when emotions need to be dealt with. He is kind and caring. But it's a very superficial and robot like even.
He is emotionally too immature to have a proper friendship with, in my opinion. So idk if I'll ever see him. Which I hoped for but I now know it's not possible. It'll be an online contact from now on. So I don't feel satisfied at all. I don't have closure or answers. But I do see the bigger picture now. I've never been able to think about him in all these 21 years. It hurt me too much so I blocked things out. It traumatised me very much. The fact that we've shared some fond memories that he certainly hasn't forgotten over all these years was nice. And it has to be enough. I've forgiven him but have now told him I can't do this superficial friendship. And stick to a unpersonal whatsapp contact. Cause I feel that's all he feels comfortable with. With him being autistic and traumatised.
It feels very unsatisfactory, but it is what it is. He can't give me the same level of emotional maturity. Its helped me to move on tho. And we're being civil. How could I have fallen for this emotionally very unstable guy??
Just wanted to share my story.