How do you make a vigina typeing

My husband and I have been together for 13 years. He has always been incredibly sweet, caring, and kind, with a pretty good sense of humor and a very loving nature. He had addiction issues in the past but luckily he got into rehab and has been sober for a little over half of the relationship. A few years ago, he started to compulsively buy things and got himself into financial trouble. Still, I stuck with him and we worked to resolve that impulse. This has long given me anxiety about leaving him to go have fun and be myself because his triggers are unknown and I still have a deep fear that he will hurt himself with drugs, even if this fear has softened over the years. Despite all of this, my main gripe is that I am his entire world. He does not have friends, he doesn't like to go and do too much outside of the house, and he isn't curious. We have spent many years watching tv versus going out and living. Some of this has been due to not being able to go places where alcohol is present and the rest is often due to him not wanting to go places, being too busy, having projects around, or simply just not taking initiative to even come up with things to do so it gets tiring if it's always on me. I am fairly certain he is on the spectrum, which compounds this. I have suggested that he seeks out activities to make friends, investigate things he's interested in, and get him try to vocalize his opinion but it's been a fruitless effort. I finally had it and told him things need to change. I feel bad that he is upset by this but I am sick of feeling like I am his mom and not his partner. This all came to a head because I have had some life changes personally that finally are making me feel aligned with who I am. One is an employment change to a dream job and another is meeting more people. At the job, I can finally be my true self and I feel like it is drawing the spontaneous, creative, fun person I used to be to the surface. At it, I also see a longtime couple interact and they are constantly supportive but also excited and surprising one another--like telling each other about different music they listened to or about passages in books they read. It makes me insanely jealous to hear dialogue that is not the same convo over and over. I also work a side gig with the public, which has me constantly meeting people. Lately, I have been getting asked to hang out and really drawing people in more than I have since my 20s. One person I met is a guy who has a ton of very random things in common with me who is very kind, charismatic, and well spoken. If I had met him at the same time I had met my husband, I would have picked him to date. He recently asked me out for drinks and I was not sure if it was a friendship ask or something else, and it turns out he has a big crush on me. I told him that while I was married, I felt the same way. I have never had this happen in my lifetime and I don't know what to do about it. I know this sounds silly, but while he's physically attractive, he's not really my type--it's his personality that draws me in. I don't want to leave my spouse for this person, that's way too premature, but I cannot say I don't wish I could take a break, date him, and see what my life could have been like (or could be like) with someone who is more my speed. This person also made a comment to me that was incredibly perceptive and genuine that made me feel like they really saw me for who I am. This is a very long ramble that is to say... I want to repair what I have with my spouse but I cannot shake the feeling that I have met my match or that the universe is bestowing me with someone who is an avatar of my match so that I may move on. I don't want to hurt either people but I want to do what is best for my happiness, which I have often put to the side for others. If you have gotten this far, how do you think I should handle this situation?

Hate it, hate it, hate it. Honestly, I thought I was done with cycles of developing attachments to people who cannot give. And I hate it that in reflecting on what you can't give I find mirror after mirror after mirror. All the way back to the beginning, all mirrors. You can't give in one way, I can't give in another, suspiciously complimentary way. Mirrors.
I hate that it's so much torment not being in contact with you. I hate it that you couldn't give me clarity about your feelings. In the same breath you apologized for leading me on and expressed confusion about how you felt about me in the first place, telling me how engaging I am. What am I supposed to do with that?? Sorry you don't feel the same way... I think? It's ok you don't feel the same way... I think? This is the sound of my face scrunching up in hurt and disbelief. Just... Ugh. I get it, you and I both have much more self discovery to master, apparently. Ambiguity is the only level of clarity on offer. (Kinda like how I left the door open, I guess. * grumble * mirrors, always mirrors )
I see how this was only gonna go one way, though. When you left my server, taking something like 85% of our daily communication with you, there was zero way I was going to see that as anything other than abandonment (because it is!). Holding the relationship hostage. Using withdrawal to gain control in a situation where you clearly felt out of control. It never occurred to me it might actually be out of fear of repeated problems, and honestly I'm still not sure about that. It was obvious that you cared about what I thought of you. What I can't wrap my head around is why you thought the best way to preserve my opinion of you was to cut out more than half the friendship, wrest absolute control of our every communication, and paint me into a corner where my only choices were to show you I would remain present to be abandoned further (not acceptable) or to show you I wouldn't tolerate that by removing your ability to keep doing it (which broke my heart into a million, shattered, quivery bits and has rendered me almost useless for weeks, wtf??). I feel like lots of pieces of the puzzle are just missing here. Maybe it isn't meant to make sense, but this is me, practically screaming into the void: Make. It. Make. Sense.
Funny thing is I've already been through this with our mutual friend, and the outcome (NC) was exactly the same. He bailed for five solid months without a word, and I grieved the friendship thinking he and I would never speak again, wondering why he would do that to me. The only reason we speak today is that taught him with finality: saying nothing is the absolute worst thing anyone can say to me. Worse than saying the wrong thing by a very large margin, in fact. We repaired the friendship and I learned to see him in tandem with his intentions at all times instead of through past abuse from men, and he learned to manage his shame and to speak vulnerably, knowing it was more important to me that he stick around than to "win" any conflicts that arose. I learned I could be hurt by something he did or said and I could tell him that without him feeling the need to tank the whole friendship, and he learned he could make mistakes without my entire perception of him going sour. It was very healing for us both. And yet. And. Yet. Here I am, repeating the same damn cycle with you.
Except now it's entirely different because for some absurd reason I'm apparently infinitely more attached to you in ways I don't even want to think about, let alone put in type, and I feel like the connection we shared has already driven me irretrievably bonkers. Bat. Shit. Crazy. Why is this happening??? Because we're both unhealed and trigger the fuck out of each other, simple, problem solved, the end. Right? Right???
Ugh. You have no idea how hard it is not to reach out. I told you I can't lead and I meant it. Even in the simplest of friendships I cannot lead here. I have spent my entire life forced into leadership positions in countless relationships of various kinds (with men) and the result is almost always abuse on some level. I get I'm not supposed to assume the same will occur with you, but... well... "I'm sorry that our relationship made me feel comfortable abusing you." Ring a bell? And why? Because I kept showing you I would stick around no matter what you said. Only way to stop that runaway train is pump the breaks and switch to another track. So I did.
So... why, then, why is my heart screaming at me that it was the absolute wrong thing to do? Make. It. Make. Sense.
I'm a limerent, traumatized weirdo who needs to get out more. Simple, problem solved, the end. Right? Right???
Ugh. UGH!
Make it make sense, D. Please, make it make sense.

My infuriating mind has been turning this over for weeks but last night it kept me awake. Asking here as I need some advice...
I (44m) have a work friend (42f) I've known for 6+ years and in that time we've become quite close. We don't work in the same area but routinely see each other during lunch breaks, head to the shops, sit and drink tea etc.
She's always warm and friendly, chatty etc, basically the work wife and we're known as that pretty much everyone who knows us. Others have commented on how well she regards me. It's the kind of work place where bad things happen and they bring you closer to the people along side you when they happen and we've both been through a lot together. Recently she's been going through some BF stuff and we've talked about that and similar level stuff over the time we've known each other. Like I said, quite close.
Over the years I've asked on a dozen occasions (innocently!) if she would like to do something outside of work. Each and every time I get a "that sounds great" type reply which then leads to nothing happening. Which is fine and maybe what you'd expect from a work friendship, however close.
Most recently, I asked if she'd like to go and see another colleague perform on stage and she hasn't bothered letting me know one way or another.
Oddly, she did contact me about a year ago and we spend a nice afternoon having a few beers and a good conversation.
What's puzzling me is the fact she often sees other colleagues out of work, and not necessarily people who know her as well as I do. It's not a male/female thing as several of them are men. I totally get you have different friends for different parts of your life but to me it's not how I see a friendship, a genuine friendship, working out.
Another thing, possibly the thing, that makes me unable to resolve this in my mind is the fact she always remembers my birthday, Christmas etc, often gives me homemade gifts and cards and generally gives the impression of being someone who's in my life outside of the workplace. A couple of weeks ago she cancelled plans with her adult son to sit and chat with me (at work) for several hours despite finishing at lunchtime. It's just not a level of behaviour I'd expect from someone I only see during lunchbreaks.
I've recently spend a lot of time converting colleagues in to genuine friends I see outside of work and it's worked, so I'm not exactly a dull and boring person!
She's great, but given I don't see myself working in the same place in the next year or so, I feel like I won't be seeing her after that.
This is really frustrating me, she's one of the few people on this earth i believe I'm close to but I'm seriously considering cutting ties and putting the energy (and lunchbreaks) in to other people who are happy to meet up away from work.
And that thought makes me feel like a bad person :(
Feel free to comment, question, advise, commiserate etc!

I have struggled with a profound fear of being seen my entire life. It has ruined my career and my social life. When my first novel was published, all I felt was embarrassment, even though it was well-received.
I haven't been able to write for the last seven years because I'm afraid someone will read what I write. I have a phenomenal therapist, and the last two years of doing Internal Family Systems therapy has helped me so much. In order to face my fears, I decided to launch a YouTube channel recently. (It's literary criticism with a true crime twist.) I don't expect it to get big, and it's probably better for me emotionally if it doesn't. I just want to dip my toes into being seen in the world and have nothing terrible happen. (Yes, my therapist knows and approves.)
Here's where my ndad comes in. Movies have always been his passion, especially golden era films. He knows a tremendous amount about how the studio system worked then, and he's taught film. He raised me and my sister on film, bought us a video camera and taught us to make out own movies. Even when my relationship with Dad was really hard, like when I was a teen, we could go to the movies together. Hell, we were in different states for the Oscars this year, so we Zoomed the entire ceremony together.
Anyway, my father's narcissism is the type where he wants me and my sister to be extensions of his glory, so when we do something he likes, he wants to get involved. To my surprise, he has decided that he loves my channel. He sent me quotes from the videos that he felt were worth writing down (does anyone else's boomer parents do this?) with little complements. It was sweet, and I thanked him. I even asked for ten minutes of his help to film a little segment for the third video, and I credited him under a family nickname
I guess he was flattered, because now he LOVES the videos. Of course, I know how this goes now, and so do you. His involvement in the production - which was previously limited to him holding the camera for a 15-second bit - is now paramount. Yesterday he said he needed to talk to me about my third video, and I thought, Okay, here it comes, the other shoe!
He said, "Your glasses are often crooked in your videos. Is there a way to straighten them on your face?"
I burst out laughing because A. I thought it would be so much worse, and B. My glasses sit crooked because one of my ears sits higher than the other by about a quarter of an inch. I think fixing it would require surgery.
I thought I'd gotten off easy, and my boyfriend and I laughed about it. That's when the email arrived. Now, keep in mind, Dad lives next door. (My partner and I live in one half of a duplex. My parents live in the other half at various times throughout the year, sometimes together, sometimes singly. They have a second home near my sister.) My point being, he didn't have to type all this up. We see each other multiple times per day. We had brunch together a few hours before I received the email!
The email contains a list of issues he sees with my videos. Complaints about turns of phrase I overuse. Framing recommendations. Backhanded compliments. A few real complements. He ends it by referencing the nickname I gave him in the credits. He says he looks forward to being called that nickname by a fan that the two of us will one day meet at an awards banquet for independent filmmakers. (This will never happen, by the way. I make two-hour-long literary criticism videos. The grandiosity he's applying to me-as-extention-of-him is downright oppressive.)
It's there a gentle way to disengage him from my project? I'm not actually planning on running the channel indefinitely, and I'd like to feel like I can do what I want for the life of this project. That's part of the growth I was hoping I would get from this, to trust my own instincts and judgment. Although, learning to manage Dad in artistic areas would also be well worth learning.
I'm thinking of responding, "I'll consider it. Thanks." What do you think? Too abrupt? Too avoidant? I'm open to suggestions here. I really do love my father and value the relationship we have. Yeah, he shook me when I was a baby and threatened to break my legs so I'd never walk again when I was nine, but he's old now. He's quit drinking. The more I understand narcissism, the better and easier our relationship gets. I know it doesn't get better for most people in our position, but it did for me and Dad. So please remember, when you make your suggestions, that this is a relationship I'd like to preserve. Thanks in advance.

So last year I read kaleidoscopic grangers and went onto a fan fic reading spree. So I have read a few since, but ao3 and (specially) fanfictiondotnet are very hard to find onto very specific ideas or types. So I came her seeking recommendations.
While not necessarily all of these at the same time, I would like to read some fics with the following characteristics:
1.- female mc,
2.- or maybe a transfemale mc
3.- long and preferably finished.
4.- maybe a harmony ship.
5.-I dont care if the MC is Overpowered, i don't want overpowered mc right out of the bat, if they happen to be op I want it to be earned it.
6.- I like when fics go to explain magic systems in great detail or introduce a new one.
7.- while I read any romance f/m, f/f and m/m I do prefer a lot f/f and f/m over m/m
8.- I do like a bit of Ron bashing, not to much just enough to make him snap and become a better friend.
9.- focus on duelling techniques, or an actual methodology in fighting
As I said it does not necessarily needs all of these traits/tropes/tags but it would be neat it has some of them.
Some fics I have read and remember fondly are:
-kaleidoscopic grangers (young blind Harry is adopted very young by the grangers and come out as trans, becoming ariadne granger, very good, extremely long like 1.5 times bigger than HP 7 books, finished, goes a lot of detail into magic systems and a bit of socialite stuff, as well as other species culture and lifestyles)
-a skirt it's not so bad (Harry in year 2 ends up poly juicing into pansy parkison and realizes all this time he has felt wrong by being a guy, hermione realizes what's going on a helps Harry transition into holly Potter, unfinished, it's very interesting how it makes the tri wizard tournament super dynamic and it's very combat focused, also has started to delve into the fae creatures it's uses in magic )
-new blood (an slytherin hermione gets into hogwarts and decides to gaslight the entire magic community into that another social class exist, "new bloods" Families who have received the gift of magic from magic itself to establish a new great house and bring change into the magic world, Unfinished but its gets updated insanely frequently, also insanely long)
-In the forest of the Dean( after ron dishes Harry and Hermione in book 7 and Hermione receives an almost fatal wound, Hermione and Harry decides to take war and their survival a lot more seriously and ends up becoming a couple, a bit or a ton of Ron Bashing, Finished,)
-A Marauder´s Plan (After the events of book 3, Sirius decide to take his role as Lord Black to manipulate Magic society, demonstrate he is innocent so he can take care of Harry, Finished)
So with that if any of you reading this happen to recommend something with a few of this traits, thanks before hand.

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My hot take for today, rwby gets better when you realise that blake definitely did have a crush on sun in the early days but didn’t follow up on it because she realised post-fall that her feelings were stronger for yang and that sun just wasn’t the one.

1. it makes all the eclipse moments in early volumes not feel like they’re shitting on bumbleby (the eventual canon couple)
2. it highlights that yes, blake is indeed bi
3. it tells a very realistic story of how some crushes just aren’t meant to be

do i still think blake had a bit of a crush on yang at beacon? absolutely. do i still think yang fell first and was so head over heels for blake at beacon? absolutely! blake seriously has a type, and sun and yang are both that type.
the difference comes in how they treat her. sun may be fun and flirty, but he’s also senseless and pushes blake out of her comfort zones far too often without realizing why she doesn’t appreciate it. yang on the other hand is patient with her, invites her into her life to have fun without pushing her way in and trampling all over her boundaries.
and that’s what’s fun about sun and yang being so similar !! like, not only does blake have a type, but it shows the variance in that type and what she needs in a relationship. it’s a great narrative !!
and it works extra well when you consider that sun doesn’t get jealous and actively encourages blake to go on her own way (subtext: to get her girl), because then it makes him somewhat of a narrative foil to ilia, who was jealous of adam and let that jealousy fester, as opposed to sun, who let go of those conflicting feelings to let blake — who he undoubtedly loves — be herself and do what she wants. (it’s also why i really love the dynamic of sun and ilia, himbo and lesbian duo getting over the girl they loved)
long story short, eclipse isn’t bad but it also wasn’t meant to be and that’s okay. better, even, for the story they wanted to tell for blake.
https://www.tumblr.com/patchodraws/748680492723863552/my-hot-take-for-today-rwby-gets-better-when-you

I’m finally breaking down. My problems are so complex and this is the same I noticed with all 11s. Today I literally lost my ID card for no reason despite always being careful, it was just that few seconds I wasn’t. It’s insane, I always have to be on my guard and can’t make mistakes. I also watch other people and I’ll admit it right here, they kind of rarely think about the bigger picture for some reason. This leads me to predicting their mistakes but being helpless every time cause it’s not like I’m gonna go out of my way to change people nor should I. I try to guide them or hint them but this leads their egos to get hurt. Ironically, almost every single time they came back apologizing, but guess what I predict that they won’t change and sure enough they don’t. You’d say, well why don’t you do so well then? Here’s the thing my advice works wonders for others alright, but for myself I always get another damn complex obstacle that others don’t get.
I feel continuously tired. I know for a fact that lifepaths are real but yea imma seem crazy and it’s practically meant to be hidden to people not ready yet or who don’t need it, so that makes me even more irritated. I always see the best in people and I can see the good that is always trying so I’m forgiving but this type of attitude is rarely reciprocated if ever. If you want to know how annoying it is, I can’t even cry in my own room cause the sound travels. I try to softly let my tears out, and STILL my mom randomly starts banging on the door to open it suddenly at that exact moment even though it’s for a good reason. It’s like I can’t even get one second to breathe even if I’m technically relaxing. I’d rather probably be any other lifepath, especially the lower numbers cause that looks like fun. Michael Jordan is an 11 and he is a rare one that made it, but ask yourself, does even he look very happy? Lmaoo rant over 🥲

I hope to find a kind-hearted woman to build a lasting relationship with. Genuine and kind, someone I can talk to about anything and everything. I want a partner who's excited to share their knowledge and experiences with me, grow together, learn new things from each other, and connect on a deeper level. You can share your thoughts and ideas with me, and I'll be happy to discuss all kinds of topics. I want us to build a wholesome relationship where being there for each other is enough.
This part is about what I'm looking for in a relationship: - Mutual love and respect and care, my chest will be your pillow while we binge episodes and watch a lot of things while cuddling, romantic dinners, cooking together, enjoying life to the fullest , holding hands while walking , going to the beach, traveling to new places, trying new things and experiencing what life has to offer together :) . Being there for each other through good and bad times . You can always count on me and tell me everything, I will be the shoulder you can lean on. I'm very romantic and I have a lot of love to give. When we are together expect me to always hug you, kiss you on your forehead, hold your hands and express my love to you and how much you mean to me while I look deeply into your eyes . Romantic moments and lovely things like giving each other pet names, making you bed surprise breakfasts. Tons of Cuddles and hugs . I will always sheer you up, motivate you, and help you . I'll always be there for you.
As for my physical attributes, I have light brown skin, black hair, and brown eyes, average looking guy. I have a photo in my profile. Personality-wise, I'm an ENFP MBTI type with a bubbly, caring, affectionate, patient, and ambitious personality. I'm easy-going, non-judgmental, and an ambivert depending on the day. I have a good sense of humor and always make my friends laugh. My hobbies and sports include running, calisthenics, cycling, cooking, and hiking. I enjoy reading, playing video games, traveling, camping, watching movies, TV shows, documentaries, and anime.
I'm not religious .
I can speak four languages and hope to learn more in the future. I love to do many activities like having long walks and exploring new places. When it comes to indoors, I'm very creative at finding ways to enjoy our time. I love discussing all kinds of topics; we can talk about anything from history, geography, cinema, sports, religion, philosophy, languages, food, politics, spiritualism, video games, travel, cultures, technology, and more.
Currently located in Morocco. I'm looking for someone who's okay with long-distance until we figure things out.
When it comes to films, TV shows, and anime, it's hard to pick favorites, so you can ask me later. As for music, I enjoy classic hip-hop, rap, rock/post-rock, jazz, 80s music, some metal, classic, ambient, pop, and soundtracks. I used to watch anime growing up, and I still enjoy it, but I don't watch it as much as years go by, still watching certain weekly releases.
Thank you for reading through all this! If you're interested, please contact me through DM or chat. Introduce yourself and tell me a bit about you, write more than Hey.

Hello people on this Reddit.
I have seen several post in this Reddit about married couples wanting to spice up their sex lives by swinging . In our second installment of the Life Style, we will share some of our experiences including this one: "The Conversation." to go back and talk about how to have "the conversation" about swinging. Please note I am writing this within the construct of hectro sexual couples (females can be bi) In most situations it is going to be the male partner who wants to broach the subject. But how to do it without an ensuing argument or suspicion about intentions. Swinging can end a relationship overnight. We have seen it.
First you have to gauge how strong is your relationship. You absolutely can not use swinging as a means to fix a relationship or find sexual gratification. The potential for jealousy is just too much for a fractured relationship. Better to fix your relationship. Even if all else is good but the sex, get that fixed. If it means going to marriage counseling or scheduling time for sex make it happen. Then start to talking about how to make the sex better. Be fair, listen, no criticisms, and take turns exploring interest.
Second, ask yourself why you want to do this. Because, she is going to ask. If you can not answer, or give a bad answer, or lie -- it isn't going to work. If you want to do it only to live out that experience of having two women at once. Is that for you? What is she going to get out of it? Has she expressed fantasies of being with a women too? Is she the jealous type, or have you given her reasons to be jealous. Be honest with yourself, is it a selfish reason. And, would you be jealous if she played with someone else?
So you have moved through these steps. Now its time for the talk. Be honest with her, listen to her concerns, and admit when you may not have an answer. Ask her what she thinks might be the issues if you decide to do it. Remember it is a conversation. Also, don't be pushy or in a rush. Don't ambush her with a bunch of websites. Don't get on them without her approval and involvement. Absolutely do not ambush her with a date. No kidding we had this more than once. Not only was there conflict, but it put us in an uncomfortable situation as well.
During the talk what are subjects. The first and obvious is"what happens if there is jealousy." Answer: we will have a sign or code to say no I am done lets leave (the party, who you are talking to, and even in the middle of it.) And yes we have been in all these situations. And when one of us gives that cue, its done. We haven't always been perfect at it, and from time to time we miss the cue. But that level of communication and trust has to be there. Another question "what will cause jealousy." Maybe neither of you can tell at this minute or you both have some. Talk it out. In the beginning for us it was no kissing, no dirty talk, no intimate terms - especially ones we use for each other. Most those we have renegotiated over time as we became more comfortable and have improved communication. Also, you can never guess in the beginning what might cause jealousy. It can be the most simplest things. I will admit I never thought it, but the first time she put her arm a round a guys neck I freaked. And they were just dancing. Who knew. You can't so again keep cool and communicated.
If she is showing some interest suggest listening to some pod cast from real swingers. That will help with the next step.
Third, Rules. So you have already established your first set of rules from just this process. Now comes the next -- just watch, soft, same room swap, separate room swap. Threesomes, couples only, moresomes. Again, more than likely she will want to start slow and that is okay. Don't force it. We have two periods where we talked about it over several years apart. The second time we talked about it over a summer. We agreed to put ourselves out there. We tried Craigslist and that was a flop, the "couple" didn't show. A friend of ours suggested SLS and Kassidy. We tried Kassidy it was a "pretty" site according to my wife. But no one down here uses it and it was pricey. So we tried the "ugly" site SLS which is what is most used down here. There is a one time fee. Unlike Reddit, free usage really limits your use. But it also trims out the flake, fakes, and pic collectors. There is also SDC. We try a balanced approach.
But I ran a tangent --
Start slow. Our advise: don't do one on one in the first meeting or even within the first year. Save that for when you are more experienced. Rather try a club or house party. A ton less pressure. You can just be spectators and watch how the "pros" operate - lol. You can talk to couples and get advise. Even if it just listening to their stories or how they communicate.
Fourth: Once you have decided and the rules are set. Follow them. Always respect her wishes. If she say no chatting with out her online. Then follow the rules. Get a couple of pictures. Edit out your face if you are worried about someone recognizing you. Then have a date night in the bedroom where you look at profiles and talk about why they might be a match and send out a message (see Part 1)
Good Luck!
Upcoming Part 3: Your first event - Our first event.

This is not a request for legal advice but just clarification of how this type of lawsuit works. The defendants are the main property owner but also 2 investment firms that according to google invested to purchase this property for the main defendant. My question is - does my lawyer now have to fight 3 separate legal teams now or how does that work, do they come together and hire one team of lawyers? I ask because I read in previous cases that in such cases with multiple defendants that did go to court, some of the defendants opted to settle out of court... Is this good or bad? Does this mean some of the defendants could possibly choose to settle with me out of court and then I can still either reach separate settlements with the remaining ones or go to trial with the separate remaining defendants? Also, am I correct to assume that this will make the case take longer than if it was just one defendant? I only get the chance to speak to my lawyer a couple times per year so I thought id get some insight here. Thank you very much in advance!

I'm homeschooled and not a very social person but sometimes I get lonely. Occasionally I'll meet someone online and we'll play games together for a while but after a few weeks it tends to just drop. I feel like one of my main issues is that I get worried about being overbearing or annoying cause I've been friends with people who were like "PAY ATTENTION TO ME EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY OR I'LL GHOST YOU FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG AND MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A SHITTY PERSON" and maybe come across as one of those "everyone always leaves me" types when I try to make sure that they know that it's fine if they wanna do stuff without me. The few times an online encounter has turned into an actual friendship they end up saying something weird, or something just blatantly sexual (don't have an issue with sex jokes and crack em all the time but like dude, why would I tell you how I wank?).
Long story short I don't really know how to make friends and it's not like I'm gonna throw myself into oncoming traffic if I don't have any but I think maybe it'd be nice to have someone near my age to talk to.

I (F15) have a huge crush on a straight girl (F15) who I'll call Alya. She has been acting pretty differently for the past couple months and i (curiously) came here to get some advice.
Some background knowledge: I am typically fem presenting and go by all pronouns, i dont really mind. All-though i apparently "dont look like i would be", i am attracted to all genders, mostly women. I am a freshman and new to the school district i am currently in. After being here a while, i quickly learned that the majority of people here seem to be very not accepting of people who are not white christian heterosexuals. I however, don't really put up with that type of prejudice. I have a "if you are negatively impacting me, you don't exist," policy. Also, i am NOT big on physical contact. its a p r i v i l a g e for me to let you touch me(reserved for some family, by bsf, and a few close friends). there is also one really important detail about Alya, but I'll give you that at the end.
Alya was one of the first friends I made at the school i go to now. We met in science and automatically was infatuated with her because she's really cute. We bonded over kpop and dramas and quickly became close friends. Now i would like to clarify, i am a highschooler and it is very normal to be quicky infatuated with beautiful strangers who are nice to me, especially when i am an extrovert and they are a perfectly adoptable introvert. We also joined same clubs together and stuff so we could hang out after achool.
Now, at first, i was VERY open with my not so small crush on her. now im talking calling her my wife, my queen, jumping up when she walks into a room, trying to hild her hand, fake proposing, making a scene, confessioms everyday, etc. Don't worry though, after like two months i realized i was being alot. i dialed it back: now i just call her by name(sometimes an occasional platonic "babe" like i do all my friends), addressing her casually when she enters a room, not engaging in physical contact.
Although, around two months from writing this, she started acting different. At first she just started being more open and involved in whatever i was doing, but pretty quickly it became much more different. She started asking to hold my hand alot and started calling me pet names(babe, hon) and being SUPER NOSY. For an example, in one of our clubs, her older sibling(ill call her Keisha) is co-president but barely does anything. Im friends with the other co-pres.(well call him Wes), and he's been telling me about kicking Keisha out for a while. whenever we talk privately about it, we walk away from the group. but Alya just hAs to know what we're talking about and constantly is runnig up to me to ask what it is or why she cant know. And when i tell her its none of her business, she just makes a comment on how ive been hanging out with Wes alot. erg
These last 4 weeks, however, have been so. weird. Her touchiness levels are at the absolute maximum. I have a watch that checks my heart rate and steps, and she actively tries to see what she can do to make my heart rate rise (rub or hold my hand, rub my shoulder, etc). my usual heart rate is around 85 and she'll try to make it go past 100. she also started playing with my hair (I am Jamaican and jave twists in my hair but im okay with her touching my hair because she is also a POC). Also, she is always looking at me weird when I hang out with other people near her. Like when you feel someone looking at you weird? yeah, that's what I feel all up on me. Always needs to know what im talking about with other people, always needs to know what I'm laughing at on my phone, etc, etc. just two days ago, we had a club event adter school. i was dancing everywhere and running around in these really unloadable shoes, so my feet were hurting really really really really really bad. At one point I went to go to the side to talk to Wes, and she sprinted at us and almost ran into me laughing like it wasn't a total invasion of privacy. I think one of the final straws for me though, was when we were in one of the gymnasiums, by ourselves, and I was sitting down on the floor listening to music because over simulated. I have my speaker on the floor near us and she was standing while I was sitting. Se kept trying to come talk to me but I was really out of it just sitting there staring at the floor. So then, out of what i asume was supposed to be and joke or some way to get my attention, she bent down, reaches over from behind me, put her arms around me, and she kissed me behind the ear.
Now. I personally am not interested in dating, i want to wait until i am older. And either way, that didn't really seem like straight behavior to me personally. Now this has really got me thinking, and this is where you learn the other information about Alya.
Alya is Muslim. Meaning, she can't date, let alone be homosexual. And she has very adamantly told me and my other friends about how should she feels about it, and how she is very involved in and believes in her values strongly. Now I don't know if that's the reason why she's done things like out me to her sister, who then made sure to ask if I had ever had a crush on her (to be fair, i had joked to my friend group "lol ive had a crush on everyone".bit still).
This is all really confusing me and causing me anxiety. lately, I've been trying to distance myself from her more: not talk to her as much, not address her when in groups, reject physical touch, etc.
anyway, and I really know what to do, and I don't want to have to ghost her. Any suggestions?

I have reservations about telling these following stories. My life has taught me that nothing at all comes from reminiscing about the “golden years” as it were. But I am now an old man, bereft of any use except what I can remember. I want you to understand the person writing this in order for you to grasp why you are getting this story, why you are getting it now, and why it holds an affect on me still. I am not easily frightened or overwhelmed. But the bizarre nature of these events My simple warning to any casual observer wishing to find entertainment is. I don’t have the answers to the questions and I don’t think I have enough time to find them anymore. Though frankly I don’t think I want them.
Part one
In 1972 I found myself at a party in Beverly Hills. I was an experienced Hollywood agent by this point. I had already seen a rise and fall of an entire movement and generation, and the art industry is always following the generational peaks and pits
“Keep your ‘lectric eye on me, babe”
“Put your ray gun to my head”
For many clients of mine, the changing days were terrifying because it meant that they had to change or die out like a forgotten species of animal, for me I just kept following the money. If the kids wanna watch Eastwood shoot people instead of Wayne, that is more than fine by me. This was my thinking. Of course it isn’t that simple for everyone else, but I don’t make money based on the quality of the film my actors are in. I make money based on the actor and trust me, plenty of my bigger paychecks have been raked in by what my father would call “a ton of bull.” I disagreed with him and I do today but you see what I mean. An opinion doesn’t buy a home in the hills and a motorcycle. Anyways I was deep in something vaguely alcoholic and privileged that night. Then I saw a friend of mine, who I was sure drove me here, he was holding two full bottles of whiskey pointing the openings directly in his mouth. In the crowd around him was young and somewhat new actor client of mine Sawyer Thompson who was wearing black aviators indoors,(making me question whether I should work with him at all) the entire legal team for Pink Floyd, what could have possibly been Carter Jacobs or Lou Reed(I don’t know I was quite drunk), the guitarist from Deep Purple, Nancy Sinatra, and a dude dressed as Joey Ramone(he probably wasn’t) about 20 more packed around my chaotic friend as the last of the liquor slipped into his mouth. He raised both bottles above him towards the ceiling
“AAAaaaAaaAAAAAAHHHhhhHhhhhHhhHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!” Is what I remember him screaming. Then he pelted a bottle into the wall behind him and it was pulverized into tiny bits. If this didn’t look the effects of simple alcohol to you, it’s because it wasn’t. Edward Stockton Williams was a stuntman and a slave to many things, Cocaine was one of them. At any time of his last 7-8 years of life he could very possibly have been arrested for the pure amount he had in his 1967 Volkswagen Beetle, stashed in little hidey-holes throughout the vehicle. He very possibly could be alive today if that hypothetical traffic stop ever took place. After he threw the first bottle he spotted me.
“HeeeEEY! BboBBBYy! cRAtcH DIS!” He yelled as his arm drew back
My eyes widened. Then he threw the bottle at me. I ducked and saw it sail over me, perfectly past multiple people you would think were of note, and then with a solid hit it took out this music producer from the east coast. Just like that. Silence except for that Bowie record.
“When the kids had killed the man”
“I had to break up the band”
He hit the ground, and of course, that’s when we heard the sirens coming.
“Some crotchety old fart trying to get sleep at 8:30pm called the fuckin’ cops” is what I thought. And then we ran. I don’t mean me, or me and Stockton, I mean ‘we’ as in the party. It must have been 50-80 people of varying sizes and shapes all on their feet moving as fast as possible through the building. I saw a man in an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt attempt a dolphin dive through a window and he bounced off like a 210 lb beach ball. I crawled out a side window and found Stockton in his cocaine filled, dark red beetle the stereo was cranked up and he doing lines off the top of the dash “waiting for me”
“My Stars….”
“So far….”
“No one’s calling me home”
“mmhf” I mumbled.
I had thought that the night was winding down. Past a certain point at night, the moon disappears and before the sun begins appearing on the sky, there is an hour or two that are quiet and dark. This is when the night people rest. Even so, the night wasn’t over just yet. We pulled out into the street. The car was parked along the sidewalk far enough away from the house that was now a circus lit by red and blue. I had ran through the neighbors bushes and I have always been a smaller guy so no one saw me I guess. We drove up and down and along the hillside. Lesser men would be dazed by this and better men wouldn’t have driven in the delirious and spent condition we were in. Everything we said was just nonsense but it was also the funniest stuff ever spat out by humans. It wasn’t the worst of times and it was a quiet stretch of road. Not much around at all. When we saw the hitchhiker the question wasn’t “should we pick him up” it was “hEy Eddie is that… yOu know,” I said pointing. I thought he looked familiar, maybe an old client of mine. The radio was still on.
“There’s a killer on the road”
“His brain is squirming like a toad”
*tzzswwswsswsszzzt*
Eddie changed the channel. And pulled over to pick the man up. The man was wearing black dress shoes and pants, white dress shirt, black unbuttoned waistcoat, and blonde well kept hair. He was pale and he had sunglasses on. I thought he looked like a yuppie from New York or maybe an actor from the black and white days but he couldn’t have been any more than 27-29 years of age. I wondered what he did long enough for him to enter the backseat and for Eddie to pull the small gasoline-drinking creature back into the street. I snapped out of it and Eddie asked what he did
“So, what do you do?”
“Well, what do you mean?” He said politely
“I mean job mister nineteen thirty-three, what do you do?” Eddie belched
“Well, I guess… I am a merchant” he said
“English” Eddie snapped
I mumbled audibly, “he sells stuff”
“Alright then, What do you sell”
“A little bit of everything” he smiled warmly. The man had a presence that worried me. He seemed polite enough I guess, but he had an aura that made me feel like any second something was going to happen. I brushed this off as the effect of the substances
“We haven’t caught your name yet” Eddie asked confrontationally,
“People call me lots of things” the man said,
“Like what, stranger” Eddie said
“What do you do for fun” I said quickly, this guy was extremely imposing in a completely non-physical way. Simply put, he made me very nervous and Eddie was too drunk to be capable of nervousness. So I alone had to maintain the peace in the now cramped Volkswagen Beetle.
“I like to collect things that I find” he responded with “I travel around and I collect something from wherever I go”
“Mmmmm” Eddie mumbled while squinting at the winding white lines
“That’s interesting I guess.” I said, in one sentence all of the tension was shattered. This man wasn’t mysteriously evil like I suspected he was just a weirdo. A bizarre artist type who came to L.A to make it big with his shitty music or paintings of fruit crying or some crap like that. I wasn’t scared anymore, I was just bored. All that and no payoff. What a scam. To clarify, I was wrong about this.
We entered a tunnel and everything went dark around us except for the desperate headlights of the car. Then the radio started getting weird, first it flashed in and out of connection with the station and then it started flying through the channels back and forth, back and forth, I spaced out for a second before I realized that it was saying something
“zzzzIzzzzan’tzzzzzbreaaatthheezzzz”
“zzzzIzzzzan’tzzzzzbreaaatthheezzzz”
“zzzzIzzzzan’tzzzzzbreaaatthheezzzz”
I caught a glimpse of the rear view and I swear I could see the stranger slouching back in his seat and grinning as if all was right with the world. Then bright lights
shined into the car blinding us. The radio settled on the station 69.9 The Ocean which was playing the end of “When the Music’s Over” by The Doors
Eddie swerved a little and slowed down. We were in the main drag of Hollywood. Cars all around as we pulled up to a packed four-way stop.
“How the hell did we get here?” I thought as I sat up and peered confusedly out of the window.
“Hey, um… Bobby my man, when did we start heading this way.” Eddie asked
“I don’t think we did.” I said
“Then how-“ as we were talking a Volkswagen Karmann Ghia with the top down shot past our right loudly playing the same station we were oddly enough
“Music is your ooonnllyy friend”
“Until the end”
The car entered the intersection and I noticed the kid in the car wasn't looking at the road, he was staring up, head back, his long brown hair in the wind, his aviators pointed directly at the empty night sky. He ramped off a divot in the road at the entrance to the intersection and
less than a moment later he punched the car into the side of a gasoline tanker truck that had the green light. The tanker was pushed so that the side that was hit lifted off the asphalt. And then, in the time it would take to take a single picture of the scene and immortalize that moment on film the tanker exploded into a fireball that rose into the sky killing the kid in the sports car, the truck driver, and two people I hadn’t met in a ford sedan were passing through the intersection in the opposite direction. The worst part was the image of the truck driver looking out his window and seeing what happened and watching as he does nothing to save himself, watching the silhouettes of the sedan people panic, watching the kid in the sports car lift his head in time to see fire jump at him consuming him, and worst of all seeing the bodies rapidly melt and fall apart in the fiery explosion. Then the windshield shattered, the car lurched back and as the suspension rebounded we got a good look at the aftermath. Eddie got out of the car. (to help I assume) I looked back and saw that the stranger was gone too. Fire was creeping up a tall building on the corner nearest to the explosion and the tanker was still a large bonfire. Despite this the fire department was there with ambulances faster than I expected possible and despite some minor injuries from glass shattering no one else was hurt majorly. The next day Eddie called me.
“Holy fiery shit Robert, do you remember what happened last night!?”
“Yep” I said “the important parts.”
“Well I don’t, but I’m looking at the tv right now-“ Faint noises were layered under his voice and I guess it was the tv.
“-And I’m thinking, what kinda bloodbath did you drag me to!?” He said more shocked than mad.
“I’m thinking about how you were driving and also what do you actually remember” I replied
“Mmmm, I remember getting to the party, I remember some of the party stuff, and I remember leaving in a hurry because of something, I remember we picked up a hitchhiker that pissed me off and I remember the radio acting up.” He said
“You really gotta pull back on the, ‘party stuff’ Eddie”
I said
He told me, “fuck you, mom.”
Then I told him I would talk to him later and I got ready for work. I had an appointment with someone that day. I walked in and I waited an hour or two at my desk reading a western novel about a bronco buster who broke his arm or something. I don't know I was really bored that day. After that hour or two I walked out of my office to ask my secretary what was going on.
“Hey, Ali, where is the guy?” I asked
She sighed heavily “What guy Robert?”
“Saaaaa- ammy t-t tom tom Thomas, Sammy Thomas, Sammy Thomas’s the name” I said confidently
“I don’t have anything under a Sammy Thomas, Robert.” Is what she said to me.
“Are you sure” she said looking at her ledger
“Mmmm hmmm”
“Oh shit.” she said, “Did you mean Sawyer Thompson?”
“OH YEAH” I yelled “That’s the name!”
“Robert he died, like last night too.”
“Huh?”
“I was watching the news this morning and I thought I recognized that guy.” She said “Well shit, Robert I guess you have the day off”
Sawyer Thompson was all we had booked for that Monday I guess.
This is it for part one.

I'm a boy (15) and I have had a crush on this girl for a little over a year now and recently she's all I think of. I have a feeling she likes me too, she always texts me first, she facetimes me every chance she gets, she always talks to me, she makes comments that seem flirtatious, she always sits by me, etc. I asked if she does this stuff to other people and she said no. At school she is not very "popular." No one really likes her other than her friends. I think she knows I like her, one time in a class, my boys were sitting somewhere and there was an empty seat next to them, but on the other side of the table there was a seat that was empty right next to my crush. I told them (my friends) I was gonna sit there instead, but then my crush said "you really want to sit by me, don't you?" I immediately moved away as I felt my face heat up. That isn't the only time she made comments telling me she knows I like her. One time in math class she did something (god knows what) and some kid said "(crushes name), this is why no one likes you." Then she looked me dead in the eye and said "well some people do." There is more but I'm not going to type them out.
Every time I see her my day gets better. At home I'm pretty lonely, I'm one of 3 kids and the other 2 are girls so I always feel left out, and my bedroom is in the basement with no one else so I'm kinda forced to be alone. I just sit there, doing random things such as cleaning an playing guitar etc. I just wait for her to facetime me, and she always does, (I'm too scared to call her first). Once she does we talk for hours. Almost every Friday we talk from 5PM - 12AM, every time I fell more connected to her. When I see her in school I can't not smile. Every now and then when we talk in class I catch myself accidentally staring into her beautiful bright blue eyes. I quickly stop to not make things weird, but she does it too so it's fine. I could get lost in her eyes for hours, it's like nothing else exists. It's a wonderful feeling and it makes me love her more. I dream about her almost every night, I imagine kissing her, looking into her eyes, and just being with her. I fantasize about hugging her and feeling her beautiful ginger hair against my face. She is one of the few things I can rely on to make me happy, I love her.
I don't want to ask her out because I'm insecure about hundreds of things. At school and around everyone I act like a happy, carefree, and just a chill person, but in reality I hate myself. I am told by many people (like 4 but whatever) that my hair is cool, but every time I look in the mirror I think it's just stupid, I hate my glasses, I hate the shape of my body (I have my dads body, big but not fat. I don't get it either), I hate how geeky and nerdy I am, the list goes on. Another reason I don't ask her out is because I'm still a kid, and nothing I do right now will really matter in the future. But I know I only get one life and I should just do it but I'm scared. She's one of my closest friends and I don't want to ruin it. I'm not scared of rejection, I'm scared of ruining out relationship.
I can't go an hour without thinking about her, no matter what I'm doing. I love her, I want to be with her, I want to kiss her, I want to sit next to her, I want her.
Thank you for reading, I needed to vent to go to sleep tonight.

I (31f) am graduating from college with a BS summa cum laude on Saturday. This is my first college graduation. I live 8hrs from my family but they wanted to come celebrate with me. (yay!) They invited my (33f) sister (7 months ago) and I told her I really wanted her to come and her support would mean a lot to me. I kept telling her that for months. Also, I have done so much to support her over the years: attending her graduations, helping her move over 5 times, and most recently being MOH for her wedding. She’s never done any of those things for me. All of those things were inconvenient and not fun at all for me, but I did them because I love her and want to support her. As you do for the people you love!
She tells me two weeks ago she would not be coming to my graduation (gave a very flimsy excuse). I told her how disappointed and hurt I am and why (all I’ve done for her). She told me I was being ‘inappropriate’ for saying that and basically blamed it all on me. I’m realizing this is a habit of hers and that she hasn’t actually supported me or done anything out of her way for me in… maybe ever. She’s been treating me pretty awfully for basically all of my life and I’ve just been letting her get away with it, I’m realizing. I let her get away with it bc she has some mental instability, but at what point do you stop making excuses? This was a simple ask, I never ask her for anything, and she can’t be bothered. So I’m angry and I think that’s understandable. Whatever, she’s not coming and that’s that.
Now my mom tells me my sister has given her a gift to bring to me for my graduation. (Yes, she can’t even be bothered to wait and give it to me herself, she just dropped it off at my mom’s to make my mom deal with it.) I find that really condescending and frustrating. She is trying to make it seem like it’s fine that she isn’t coming bc she got me a present. Like? No. I asked for your physical attendance, I did not ask for a present. I don’t want a present. I’m not expecting a present from anyone. I don’t know what it is and I don’t care to. I really don’t want to accept it and make her feel like it’s all better now bc she threw some money at me. You know?
So can I refuse it? I know she’ll get mad and it might make her want to ‘cut me out’ (which she’s already teased) but I don’t want to give her this ‘win.’ I don’t want to just sweep my hurt under the rug yet again. But I also don’t want the drama of her reacting to me rejecting it. The biggest issue is the repercussions that ‘rocking the boat’ like this will cause for the rest of my family as she makes it into everyone’s problem where she’s always the victim and everybody hates her. You know the type? It’s not just me who will suffer the consequences. It’s exhausting, but I am sick and tired of letting her walk all over me just so we don’t have to deal with her inability to regulate her emotions.
So is there a way I can refuse it tactfully? Any advice? Am I overreacting? What would you do?

Okay so as you know there's a lot of hype about this new Tots Konate sbc. After trying him for 10 games in fut champs (I did my first rank 4 this year in where I got trash red and worse than in rank 5 but got Saliba in the 3 premier league tots pack) I have mostly negative opinions about him but there are surely some things that he is good at but right now and before the analysis HE IS NOT WORTH THE FODDER OR COINS IF YOU HAVE TOP META DEFENDERS ALREADY.
First of all I want to say that I'm not the best player but I'm definitely not a noob, I'm in rank 1 and do rank 5 every weekend league so I have my knowledge.
To start with I'll sate the positives and negatives about this Konate Sbc compared with the defenders I have (Militao FB, Córdoba Golazo, Desailly Golazo and Kohler Golazo)
😇The positive are:
-The linking power of this Konate is out of this world, so many possibilities to do Hybrids with him and maybe the only serious reason to complete him.

• This Konate is MASSIVE in-game honestly his body type doesn't make sense because he looks straight out of Madden or something. That combined with his playstyle plus of blocking makes him a autoblock machine and his aerial game is at the same level of a Militao FB (with feels like he has a jetpack because of how high he jumps)

-The passing is decent which is a powerful asset you can rely in extreme cases
👿The negatives are:

• The dribbling stats are a complete lie, he doesn't dribble better than anyone I mentioned on this post (And Desailly is some serious truck when turning) Don't rely on him to prolong the play by bringing him out of his defensive zone like Koeman because he is more of a Yerry Mina

-The defensive playstyles plus are just not up to the Meta . Sorry you are just out of the conversation of the best centerbacks of the game if you don't have at least one of the top meta playstyles plus like Intercept or anticipate. Okay he has then in gray but is soooo noticible when being in a 1v1 with the Eusebios, Werners, Mbappes, and Ginolas, because I had him next to Militao (literally worse in every face stat but with anticipate plus ) and Militao didn't even need to sweat to get the ball from this dangerous and DDA provoking strikers at the first try of a tackle meanwhile Konate took several attempts to get the ball and conceding goals after giving rebounds.

• His Bruiser playstyle is such a lie, it barely pops up and when does it is not even that effective taking into account his body type.
  
• No jockey no party. Definitely if your defender doesn't have this at least in gray just don't bother using him. Wow his jockey game if soooo bad you will concede cutbacks all the time with him, whereas Córdoba or even Kohler rarely will concede in these situations because their jockey so good that you will just get the ball at your feet after the cutbacks final pass. For some reason this also deactivates his anticipate and Intercept playstyles so he will not be as good taken footballs out of possession of the oponet when next to him
  

😤In conclusion I don't think he is worth it as an upgrade of any top tier CB and only should be done if you REALLY NEED THE LINKS and remember if your defender doesn't have Intercept plus or anticipate plus combine with any type of jockey don't be fooled because the in game performance will be worse against defender who have these.
Please don't insult if just my experience, I hope if you decide to do him and he is a beast for you that would be amazing but in my case it wasn't.