So i use shea moisture wavy hair shampoo but it doesnt foam unless i use a big big amount, any help as to why?
I need to wash the front of my middle part twice or it gets very sticky en waxy when i dry it
I use a KEUNE hair mask/deep condish every two weeks
I use a KEUNE soft mousse and maaybe will upgrade to a strong mousde so that i dont need tu use as much.
these work well, any recommendations?
routine: wash w shampoo
wash front part again w shampoo
get out of shower
brush style
scrunch in mousse
use a tshirt towel hack for 20 min
use hair diffuser
I like the results but im so baffled by why my shampoo doesnt foam and as to why my front part gets waxy if i dont wash it twice.
I have big 2C hair with teeny tiny bits of 3A, i have medium hair density and idk about porosity but air drying takes 2-3/4hours after i tshirt towel dry

Hey ^{^} My name is Vlad, I'm 22 years old, and I currently live in Europe ( if we Connect and i feel good i will share more with you). I really enjoy video games, anime (I started watching it a few months ago as I was having a really hard time, and it's helping me a lot), listening to music, and working out at the gym (it's helping me a lot with my stress and my feelings). I also like more things, but I can't remember them all, so you can ask me if you want 😊.
About my looks, I can say that I have long black hair (Viking style, I think), I'm around 5'10"-5'12" tall, and I have an average body, but I'm changing that with the gym. I don't have any problem sending selfies or even voice notes, so feel free to ask about it.
About my personality, I can say that I'm a very sweet and caring person and will always give you lots of love and affection, but I need to feel that from your side too. I love to spend time together, so doing voice chats, sleep calls, or video calls its nice with me 😊 (I will adapt to your preferences, but for me, doing those is just a form of love).
I'm also a person who had a really bad time this last months, so I need to feel loved and cared for, and I love to be pampered in that sense. I will never say no to any kind of affection you show me.
If you really want to get to know me better, feel free to message me i dont bite 😅.

I’m kicking myself for this. Today I was at a Wawa gas station. My friend went inside to buy some snacks and get gas for her car. We were parked by the pump. I see a woman with a small 4 ish year old boy walking around. She’s holding his hand. The women was maybe late 30’s blonde dyed hair. She looked Cuban to me. I’m in Florida so I can spot a Cuban women they dress style themselves a certain way . I noticed her hair mainly because of how pretty the style was and the way it was bleached. She definitely was keeping herself looking clean and classy. She had a sad domineer on her face that gave me an uneasy feeling. I tend to have a bad/good gift of reading people’s eyes and what they are feeling and all I saw was the face of an abused victim. How she was slouched and her body language seemed so off. Like she was scared of somebody or something. She goes up to this random man pumping gas and at this point I was on my phone talking to someone when I couldn’t hear what she asked him but the man was very cold and violently told her off when she approached him with the child. I didn’t hear what she asked but I’m guessing it was about money and I could tell by his tone he was mad. She walked past my car and I was about to ask her if she’s okay when she went straight to this green van. The type of van that is notorious for kidnapping kids. A large Hispanic man was in the drivers side with a leaner Hispanic man. I thought at first she was going to ask them for money but she sheepishly went up to the drivers window and said something. He gestured her to get inside and I pulled my phone out again to try to get a video. She went inside with the boy and in the back there was another girl child. She looked about ten. Both of the kids must be related since they have a darker complexion and similar features. She was very pale compared to them. She looked frightened going inside the van. At one point the man noticed me pointing my phone and he sped off. I couldn’t get a license plate. All I remember that it was an out of state plate with a grey blue plate.After that whole ordeal I can’t shake off the feeling that she must of been in danger and those kids. I got a blurry video of the van and the two men and that’s it. I’m mad that maybe I should have done more. My friend said the cops wouldn’t have done anything. The women just looked like she was being forced to go around and ask whatever she was asking. It was weird to me that she completely ignored me and was only going to men. I’ve been approached/seen countless people asking me for money before but this is the first time I’ve seen this type of situation give me a bad gut feeling. I don’t even know what to do at this point. I was wondering if there is a data base of possible missing people specifically Hispanic. Her face looked familiar like I’ve seen her somewhere.

Before I got married to my wonderful husband we had gone months and months stressing each other out with trying to plan the perfect day. Neither of us particularly had the flair for planning large occasions and being both introverted we were really only planning the day to appease our families. We had spent months planning and I had the idea that I wanted to surprise him with a sentimental and personal gift. I wanted the gift to show my cheeky and slutty personality that would be for his eyes only. After speaking to one of my girlfriends she mentioned that I should consider a boudoir photoshoot, which she said she had done in the past for her husband. I completely fell in love with the idea and rushed to do my research and book it in. Within a couple of days I had found a photographer that wasn’t too far from my home and made a midday booking.
The photographers name was Christian and we emailed back and forth as we spoke about the finer details and what would be involved. I picked out a number of sexy outfits and pieces of lingerie and eagerly awaited the big day.
When the day finally came I drove to Christians studio which was a gorgeous ultra modern house located in an affluent area. I knocked on the door with my gym bag in hand and was wearing some very slutty makeup. My lips were pink and my black hair was straightened and fell down past my tits. Christian answered the door and I was stunned at how gorgeous he was. He was tall and wore a white shirt and suit pants. He had a full head of sandy hair and a really chiseled face. I got so nervous and was acting like a school girl.
He invited me in and we immediately started innocently flirting with each other. He was looking me up and down and there was definite chemistry. I couldn’t wait till he saw me in my first outfit.
I changed in a nearby room and wore a sexy black gstring that barely covered anything. I wore a matching black bra that had tassels that was insanely hot. As soon as I walked out Christian smirks and says “wow!” I said, “do you like it?” To which he nods his head. We begin shooting and I have no idea what to do but Christian guides me into all different positions. I felt like a total pornstar and was loving every bit. We continued to flirt and after a bit I got the courage to say, “you know this is kind of hot.” Christian smiled again and said “you’re very beautiful. Your husband is very lucky.”
The next pose I was in was a doggy style pose on a bed. Things were starting to heat up between us and I could see his bulge in his pants. I said, “this is my favorite position you know & by the way I know you’re hard under there.” He got so embarrassed but then got closer and was taking more closer shots. As he got closer he looked at me and kissed me on the fucking lips. At that point I totally freaked out and realized that I had crossed the line. I was being a total slut but his kiss made me instantly wet. I made up some dumb excuse and then left the house. A few weeks later he emailed me the photos.
Enjoy seeing what only my husband has ever seen before.

Hi, Just A femboy looking for a serious ltr , so I’ll get to the point 🤗. I’m not here for the games , or ghosting . I’m here for something long term. Dating apps don’t work for me sadly.
Located: Texas . Willing to move to another state or have my future partner live with me .
Appearance :
A thick black femboy who loves dressing up sometimes . Height : 5’3. I wear glasses to read manga . My style is mostly goth/casual clothes from mostly anime shirts and chokers.
💙My hobbies:

• Anime : Some of my favorites animes are Tokyo ghoul , Sword Art Online , Yuri on ice , Future Diary, JJK, MHA, Yaoi(Love stage , Sasaki and Miyano)
• Manga : I’ve completed so many mangas from yaoi , Ouran high school host club , berserk , ect .
• Cosplay : I’ve done Pokémon & a Tokyo Ghoul cosplay before .
• Anime cons: I’ve been to at least 11 anime/Comic cons.
• Dueling (Yu-Gi-Oh!)
• Pokémon
• Yaoi
• Pc gaming
• Overwatch. I love this game have over 500 hrs .
• Marvel/DC
• Tv drama : The Vampire Diaries , Supernatural, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, The 100.
• Horror- big fan of tv shows , movies like AHS
• Consoles I have are : Ps5, Nintendo switch , psp, ps vita, Nintendo 3ds , wii, gameboy , ect .

🩷What im looking for in a Relationship🩷

• [ ] Monogamous
• [ ] Single
• [ ] Loyalty
• [ ] Communication
• [ ] No kids
• [ ] Open-minded
• [ ] Common interest : Nerdy (Anime, Games, Star Wars or anything nerdy)
• [ ] Sure on what you want
• [ ] Mature
• [ ] 21+ in age

▶️MY TYPE:
TALL (taller than my own height) , very communicative, masculine(mostly beards and body hair) gamers/anime nerds. These are just preferences not a deal breaker .
✅Ps: for compatibility reasons I’m a 100% bottom.
If you made it this far, please message me an introduction about yourself. This is extremely important as it tells me alot about you and for me to give you a well detailed response. Mostly a name to call you , hobbies, location (state wise) and what you’re looking for . You may send pics in the first message if you may like 😊

Sorry but engliss it's not my first language, so if something it's unclear or need to be better understable please just tell me.
Platform(s): windows
Genre: adventure/puzzle/action, maybe also horror? didn't played enough to know for sure.
Estimated year of release:
-no idea, but not more than 2010.
-More specific it could be between 90's and 2005.
Graphics/art style: -2nd or 3nd, I think it was like old resident evil with the scenario that moved when the character goes to the edge of the screen. -A little dark, the level I played was in a castle but I don't think it was ambiented in medieval era.
-Almost sure it was 3D
Notable characters:
-female protagonist, probably black haired or brown, almost not blonde. -maybe a mage that acted like narrator that gives you the mission? but I don't remember if it dissapeared after or if you could talk with him later.
Notable gameplay mechanics: -In the castle I think a mage? or a voice tells you that you had to found magical gems I think? each one gived you a different power, I quiet not remember which ones maybe one permited you to transform in a bat or something like that? sorry really foggy. There where puzzles I think.
-I'm sure that in one room it was a library with corridors between the shelfs, it was laberynth like, really dark, and you had (or I didn't found the way of defending myself) to miss the monsters to find the gem/stone. I remeber especifically this cause I was scared, also, because of that I don't remember the enemies, if they were mosters or not.
Other details:
-Most probably it was a game that came with this CD-Roms with a ton more, galaxy ones where called?, in Europe, so it could be a demo.

• I think I remember that the title of the icon it was different than the title in the windows label.

-I could be flashing badly, but I think that the game have some sort of name with fort, or fortress, I wasl little and my english really bad so I could missinterpret the words.
-Remember that the loading or starting screen was a image of a castle or fortress in the middle of the water, dark, and with fog, at night, a little on the right-center of the screen, maybe there was also a boat in the first plane but not sure.

Here. And I’d like to start by noticing that Steve Sailer is obviously Delicious Taco’s dad. Having said this.
Good episode. Lots of engagement which I suppose is a net positive for all involved. Obviously a lot of the injury stems from a distortion. The episode’s content fantasized and in fantasy warped into something constituting a threat (no, an outright assault) to the listener’s person. One can simply listen to the episode and see that some (in fact the bulk) of the negative responses are from people reacting to some spectral absent-presence rather than to the people actually saying over the course of the 2 hour long episode and to what was being discussed. The voices and the discourse have instead been shaped into sonic receptacle containing the reflection of something wildly ugly. Injuriously ugly.
Past few days have been brutal. Found myself doom-viewing the main sub, should know better at this age. Feels like I’ve been transmogrified into an absurd and wretched thing. Must've transgressed against a gnome or something. Fascinating to think about.
I would like nothing more than to shame you.
Miami Summer is a killer. Urine is blood-orange. And my mother deserves better sons.
Why would A&D do this?
Witnessing the rankest comments. In bygone age I’d found them tolerable. Having imagined them delivered by high society homosexual. A damned dandy; chubby, sinister, and flamboyant. Capri on a stick limply held between index and middle fingers, twirling wrist ash’ing on expensive Persian rug. The blurry ghosts of his mother and the kid brother who drowned in the pond all those years ago glaring at him from far-off corner. Clearing throat he launches into sing-song slander head peeling back cackling at his own wickedness. Vile and venomous but charming. Instead what we get is 30+ year old mentally-ill men. Men whose Twitter activity has atrophied their cock and balls. Genitals withering away like the Worker's State, in its place a gasping cloaca, worry not I can clock em from miles away. The odious cloaca-havers are soon joined by ruined drug-addled children and the other women. They talk about A&D in disgusting ways. This is unfair and nasty. I confess to being angry. Sweating blood-specked kerosene. Let the scent fill up the empty air between us. My wrath singeing those overgrown nose hairs.
Of the two I think Anna is the one that inspires the harshest parasocial spite. So much so that I’d recommend she take some protective measures against evil eye and tongue. Maybe take baths with hyssop herb, rose water perfume, and holy water.
It’s as if Anna Khachiyan is a Giant Floating Vagina with teeth and a noticeable overbite. Viewed from another angle it transforms into a Madonna encircled by cherubim. Perhaps we are cruel to Anna in order to be kind to our mothers.
All very pre-Oedipal.
Had to step back and parse it out. Anna draws a comparison between herself and Sailer while also asking him a great question,
07:12-07:49
Anna: “I started reading it during the pandemic because it was the pandemic. I was pregnant and bored and I really relate to you as a person who everyone thinks is like evil and monstrous on the internet, but is actually like quite agreeable and mild mannered in real life. And I was going to ask you this question last, but I may as well just ask it now. How do you feel about your new found popularity? And especially, how do you feel about the fact that you have been effectively adopted by or identified with the hard right?”
The first part of the above extract, the sympathetic recognition, brings to mind a bit of 20th century Hermetic theory concerning harmful thought-forms. Our unconscious self-destructive impulses animating the fantasy-phantasm of the other. Inhabiting their shape. Gaining a degree of autonomy. This artificial entity is vampiric by default, provoking what the Czech magician Franz Bardon calls a "magical persecutory complex"... He goes into detail about such entities in Step VI of his seminal work, Initiation into Hermetics. Describing different types of artificial elementals and phantasms along with details on how to consciously go about creating and dissipating them. One of those artificial psychic entities, the one that concerns us, he calls the schemata. Bardon details two variants, one connected with paranoid persecutory fantasies and the other with erotic obsession. The first type comes about when someone who is “easily excitable, easily influenced or self-important” (Narcissist?) has a run in with another person who has, to put it mildly, a memorable visage and dark personality. The schemata is born from the phantasm modeled after this demonic-looking disagreeable person. The victim begins to attribute all kinds of minor inconveniences to the influence of the ugly person. Deludes themselves into thinking that the ugly/disagreeable person is a powerful black magician. Everything appears to reinforce their paranoid delusions. The schema grows in power feeding off the anxieties of their creatohost. The person might end up committing suicide. This was the persecutory schemas desire, having achieved its goal Bardon notes, “how great is the shock when such a spirit realizes on the mental plane that he has committed a very successful magical suicide. What a bitter disappointment! The demonic looking person, however, has no idea what happened; he was actually only the means to an end.”
God gave us eyes so that we might notice things.
The way I see it:
Being social animals the subject of our fantasy, of our fixations, is the fantasy of the other. What makes the human Human is not that we desire but rather that we desire the desire of the other. An excess desire. We fantasize about what the other is fantasizing and enjoying. Our fantasy of the fantasy of the other is the outlines a fundamental lack within our person, a negativity. Experienced as a splitting of consciousness. Intuiting this lack, becoming aware of it, and attempting to articulate it, we are self-consciousness. This negativity or void is in psychoanalytic terms, the unconscious. We likewise intuit that there had once been some original state. One without lack and contradiction. A state of fullness, without the division between self and object. A harmonious whole. A pure consciousness or as Freud refers to it in Civilization and its Discontents an oceanic feeling. The Original Desire, one that is authentically my own, which was not the desire of the other but which unites our desires in itself. This desire is the extinction of all desires.
The eye that perceives the lovely is at once the eye that perceives what I lack. Perceiving this lack, which explains my present condition, I covet. This is an evil eye. The lover’s gaze is of the same type as the infirm or pathic gaze. Reminded of Zizek’s formulation of one of Hegel’s insights, “Evil resides in the very gaze which perceives Evil all around itself" itself a variation of Meister Eckhart’s “the eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me.” The recognition of evil, the ability to see and judge evil, stems from our ability to recognize disparity. This disparity is already present within our own person, the split-consciousness. The feeling cognized, the awareness of our condition as beings separated from the whole. The clairvoyance of the tyrant and the philosopher.
Suppose that psychopathology is born from our inability to recognize an image as an image.
I intuit something more in this person, something they’re hiding. It can’t just be envy, no. It has to be because I can feel that this thing they’re hiding is sinister. It can’t just be that I feel animosity towards this person, no. It has to be because this person is evil and not just an isolated evil but rather a symptom of a much larger evil. An evil that is responsible for all the suffering in the World, for why my World isn’t the way it should be. It can’t just be attraction, no. It has to be that I intuit something more in this person, something hidden, that I must destroy in order to go on living.
If vile shit comes to mind (as vile things often do, especially when one is immersed in ambient algorithmically-summoned vileness, namely outrage and atrocity porn) they won't affirm it to themselves or try to justify or rationalize it or present it as a rational political stance. And they don’t abstract this particular form of vileness into the primary lens through which they view and interpret cultural phenomena. Unreflexive racial animosity is ugly and fetid. We’re capable of recognizing it, feeling it, as something pathological. We’re also capable of laughing at it. Laughing at ourselves. Look at what our ladies have to say about Stuart Seldowitz (the dude who went viral harassing a halal street vendor) in I’ll Be Missinger. “He sucks,” “he’s a loser,” “he’s obviously sick,” and that he gives the impression of someone who lives alone, will die alone, and will be found weeks or even months after the fact.
Perhaps Red Scare is special in how it manages to elicit absurd, wildly inappropriate responses from listeners. Vulgar and revelatory was it? Steve Sailer elicits a similar response and has become an expert in turning said absurd reactions to his advantage. Generally the cooler-head in any given exchange. While the other person shouts obscenities at a ghost, smashing fists against the post, looking crazy, like a proper hysteric. Sailer breaks the fourth-wall, making eye-contact with the would-be noticer, with a little shake of the head, a little chuckle, a little shrug… “you’re noticing right? See what I have to put up with? Imagine these people defining my legacy.” Still he seems to take it with the good humor of an uncle who will still call you on your birthday, despite your drunken outburst during holiday get-together he will admit to not having resisted the temptation to provoke you, it use to be fun, recall all the cool bands I introduced you too? We use to be best buds, “do you really think anything I’ve said merits this sort of response? Honestly?”
Has to be a cheap trick. A technique employed by an old trickster in decades long honing of craft. Maybe not. Maybe what we see is precisely what we get. Most of the very upsetting things being jokes sincerely intended to lighten the mood. Steve Sailer doesn’t care about the particular political orientation of his audience. He just cares that he has an audience. Grateful for the fans he has. Nonetheless happy that they’re not seething malcontent racists. Even if one disagrees with the methodology, the heuristic, the conclusions. That’s secondary, perhaps even tertiary to the recognition sought. His craftsmanship as a writer.
Why I loved his conflict with Will Stancil. Stancil inspired a lot of pondering for me. Putting things in place…
01:29:22-01:29:28
Anna: “You come for the race science and stay for the prose-styling and vivid story-telling.”
In trying to survive as a writer exiled from Mainstream Conservative media (ConInc) during the Bush Jr years. In fact, correct me if I’m wrong but the cancelation that actually impacted Steve Sailer, setting him down the path we find him in, was brought about not by blue-haired hall monitor millennial leftists but by his “fellow” Conservatives. I imagine that he just went with whoever was willing to take him adapting to the editorial standards and audience sensibilities of the publications willing to provide him succor. Not charity mind you but an ability to engage in his own little labor of love.
Read some Sailer. Might get into that later. But that’s the initial impression I got from Steve. Would be utterly mortified if memorialized as a Racialist Ideologue rather than as an entertaining and thought-provoking journalist. Think I also benefited from seeing how he’s actually received by people who are navigating through (or in certain cases, are mired in) the marginal “Hard Right”-spaces or the Rightwing Digital Ghetto. End up realizing that he isn’t hateful, that what you see is precisely what you get, that he privileges craft over ideology, that his reception and exile from Neocon dominated media outlets (remember these are the people gushing ecstatic over the US invasion of Iraq, manufacturing consent for our adventures in the Middle East) was exceedingly unfair but that he nonetheless managed to persevere. And that he really never goes beyond Norm McDonald in terms of his sardonic wit or The Boondocks animated series in terms of his criticisms. His normality is a great source of stability and comfort for his readers; “noticing” and speculating about these topics doesn’t necessarily lead to one becoming a seething racist.
Returning for a moment to Will Stancil, this was what he inspired:
As the last man standing I spend countless hours immersed in detailed fantasies about the coming apocalypse and my enemy's bliss. A dumb and wicked happiness proportional to my suffering. Easy to imagine other people happy. Hearts unbroken. Unburdened, hydrated, sexually satisfied, debt-free, lucky, successful in all business endeavors. Brute, jezebel, schemer, parasite, rival, betrayer... the whole lot of them thriving. Frolicking in my mind's eye. When the time comes I won't forget that they were happy while...others...suffered.
Find that trying to void your mind of all thought or sit perfectly still for 10 minutes. End up feeling like something requires much less energy from us than nothing. Causes coalescing. Conspiring, to what ends?
You see. The very same principle appears to be at work here. Same pathological base that undergirds genuine racial or ethnic animosity. Fantasizing about the other’s enjoyment and being unable to distinguish between the persecutory Phantasm and the actual human being whose shape it appropriates.
Had a friend recommend forgetting. Forgetting is a dialectical exercise, first you have to acknowledge the thing living rent free in your head and acknowledge its origins... then you have to take the steps to stop feeding it. Letting the thought-form dissolve. Let it be put to rest. Reminded of the practice Orthodox Christian contemplatives call Nepsis.
Other approaches as well, acknowledging the presence of anima veiled in shadow.
But listen…
The podcasts I consume, are a reflection of me as a person. Being what I associate and consume. What does it say about me in particular? Reveal about me? That they should have Steve Sailer on the pod. Settling down. Perhaps some responses could be understood in this light. That a Sailer episode reflects poorly on the listener. Constituting a great betrayal of the love and energy and time I have dedicated over the years to you.
I’m not a racist.
Show me your likes on Twitter and I’ll tell you who you are. The most punitive and brutal god. The idea of the AI nu-god being this, utilizing that standard, is horrifying. Show me your likes on Twitter and I’ll tell you who you are, everything you are, and whether or not you qualify to live.
Shamed, I quietly remove the upvote I gave to the hysterical person and the downvote I gave to him.
Hysteria like a yawn is an empathic contagion.
Back to Anna it’s not because she’s ugly and it sucks that she might nurse this delusion. I actually think Anna is really pretty. Rather I think it’s because she’s a mom. She registers as a maternal figure. That’s one of the reasons I think people respond to her the way they do. As stated earlier. We are cruel to Anna in order to forgive our moms.
[To be continued: Wherein I say horrible things that should never be said to the people I claim to love. Will also interrogate Sailor Socialism]

A Delicate Craft by D. P. Watt
Published in and exercpeted from Aickman's Heirs (2015) edited by Simon Strantzas

The special day came and she pricked out the pattern on his pillow and guided him through the first turns of the work. Tea flowed but Bogdan's progress was frustratingly slow.
"I would give anything to have the skills you have," he said, draining a cup, and resuming his slow progress on the pattern.
"Really?" Agnes said. "Would you give anything?"
"Oh, yes," he replied, concentrating on selecting the right bobbin to thread over the one in his left hand. "To know something—to truly master it—that is what life is all about isn't it. I want to be well trained at what I do, and you have been a wonderful teacher, but then it will take me many years of practice and hard work to be as accomplished as you are at it."
"Anything at all?" Agnes said, distantly, as though she had not been listening.
"Yes," he said again, firmly.
"Then look at me," Agnes said, taking his hands from their work and holding them in her tiny, deformed fingers.
He did not really understand, but turned to her and looked into her eyes, the colour of which was difficult to discern in the half-light of her front room, and beneath the folds of the wrinkles that gathered around her eyes, threatening to enfold them in darkness.
"May we find this wish heard higher. These hands are for doing, for marking and learning," she began, as though reciting an old childhood nursery rhyme. She had turned his palms upright and traced a line down each with her thumbs.
"These hands are for nursing, for nurturing and yearning," she sang, tracing his forefingers down each of her palms.
"And between them they cradle a world full of knowing," she gripped his fingers tightly. He could feel every line worn into them, every blemish and callus—pressing harder and harder on his own fingers and then palms. "And none has yet turned the side of that flowing, for age is a rift and youth such a gift. But the bridge o'er the chasm is built with desire."
The room had become hot and airless, and a dull yellow light seemed to have brightened the place, although its source was unclear.
Agnes sank back into her chair, her eyes flaring and her arms shaking. Bodgan made to get up and help her but his legs felt weak, his eyes heavy with sleep and his vision blurred. His hands felt hot and painful. The tiredness was overwhelming and he too fell back into his chair and sank into sleep. The last thing he saw was Agnes rise up, suddenly and swiftly, with a strength he had not seen in her before. She stretched her arms high above her head, a body in the throes of being born again.
* * *
Rising from his slumber Bodgan felt his limbs creak slowly into usefulness. His hip arched and his feet wore sore and numb. He looked down at his fingers; gnarled and crooked, the nails cracked and dirty. Between a swollen thumb and bent forefinger he held a thin white thread. He traced it back—its fibres further twining together as it trailed through his fingertips—to a delicate bone bobbin that he deftly tucked beneath its partner on a faded blue mat edged in frayed gold braiding that was propped on his lap. His hazy vision could see well enough this close at hand but as he peered around the room he could just make out the forms of ornaments and pictures, each of which sparkled half memories of a long life, filled with loves and losses. "Nadszedł czas na herbatę," he thought.
In the narrow street outisde a young girl played hopscotch on a hastily chalked grid—as though the late Twentieth century had never happened; her stiff ivory dress was dated; her hair plaited and unfashionably long; her delicate laughter, eternal.

Translated from Polish "Nadszedł czas na herbatę" — "It's time for tea."

I have curly hair (type 3a-3c) I currently use flora and curl essentials mini kit products, dove everyday shampoo, Arata Curly hair cream, Set wet styling gel, true frog volumizing mousse and beauty and planet's leave in conditioner Should i stop using any of these products if i want to start using minoxidil and what minoxidil product is recommended for me?

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"0020","Creation Club: cceejsse005-cave"
"0021","Creation Club: cceejsse004-hall"
"0022","Creation Club: cceejsse003-hollow"
"0023","Creation Club: cceejsse002-tower"
"0024","Creation Club: cceejsse001-hstead"
"0025","Creation Club: ccedhsse003-redguard"
"0026","Creation Club: ccedhsse002-splkntset"
"0027","Creation Club: ccedhsse001-norjewel"
"0028","Creation Club: cccbhsse001-gaunt"
"0029","Creation Club: ccbgssse069-contest"
"0030","Creation Club: ccbgssse068-bloodfall"
"0031","Creation Club: ccbgssse067-daedinv"
"0032","Creation Club: ccbgssse066-staves"
"0033","Creation Club: ccbgssse064-ba_elven"
"0034","Creation Club: ccbgssse063-ba_ebony"
"0035","Creation Club: ccbgssse062-ba_dwarvenmail"
"0036","Creation Club: ccbgssse061-ba_dwarven"
"0037","Creation Club: ccbgssse060-ba_dragonscale"
"0038","Creation Club: ccbgssse059-ba_dragonplate"
"0039","Creation Club: ccbgssse058-ba_steel"
"0040","Creation Club: ccbgssse057-ba_stalhrim"
"0041","Creation Club: ccbgssse056-ba_silver"
"0042","Creation Club: ccbgssse055-ba_orcishscaled"
"0043","Creation Club: ccbgssse054-ba_orcish"
"0044","Creation Club: ccbgssse053-ba_leather"
"0045","Creation Club: ccbgssse052-ba_iron"
"0046","Creation Club: ccbgssse051-ba_daedricmail"
"0047","Creation Club: ccbgssse050-ba_daedric"
"0048","Creation Club: ccbgssse045-hasedoki"
"0049","Creation Club: ccbgssse043-crosselv"
"0050","Creation Club: ccbgssse041-netchleather"
"0051","Creation Club: ccbgssse040-advobgobs"
"0052","Creation Club: ccbgssse038-bowofshadows"
"0053","Creation Club: ccBGSSSE037-Curios"
"0054","Creation Club: ccbgssse036-petbwolf"
"0055","Creation Club: ccbgssse035-petnhound"
"0056","Creation Club: ccbgssse031-advcyrus"
"0057","Creation Club: ccBGSSSE025-AdvDSGS"
"0058","Creation Club: ccbgssse021-lordsmail"
"0059","Creation Club: ccbgssse019-staffofsheogorath"
"0060","Creation Club: ccbgssse018-shadowrend"
"0061","Creation Club: ccbgssse016-umbra"
"0062","Creation Club: ccbgssse014-spellpack01"
"0063","Creation Club: ccbgssse013-dawnfang"
"0064","Creation Club: ccbgssse012-hrsarmrstl"
"0065","Creation Club: ccbgssse011-hrsarmrelvn"
"0066","Creation Club: ccbgssse010-petdwarvenarmoredmudcrab"
"0067","Creation Club: ccbgssse008-wraithguard"
"0068","Creation Club: ccbgssse007-chrysamere"
"0069","Creation Club: ccbgssse006-stendarshammer"
"0070","Creation Club: ccbgssse005-goldbrand"
"0071","Creation Club: ccbgssse004-ruinsedge"
"0072","Creation Club: ccbgssse003-zombies"
"0073","Creation Club: ccbgssse002-exoticarrows"
"0074","Creation Club: ccBGSSSE001-Fish"
"0075","Creation Club: ccasvsse001-almsivi"
"0076","Creation Club: ccafdsse001-dwesanctuary"
"0077","Interesting NPCs SE (3DNPC)"
"0078","AI Overhaul SSE"
"0079","Address Library for SKSE Plugins"
"0080","UIExtensions"
"0081","SkyUI"
"0082","SSE Engine Fixes (skse64 plugin)"
"0083","The Ultimate Dodge Mod Attack Cancel"
"0084","The Ultimate Dodge Mod"
"0085","(DMC) The Ultimate Dodge Mod Reanimated - TUDMR"
"0086","Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch"
"0087","Project New Reign - Nemesis Unlimited Behavior Engine"
"0088","Open Animation Replacer"
"0089","Open Animation Replacer - IED Conditions"
"0090","dTry"
"0091","Animation Motion Revolution"
"0092","Dynamic Dodge Animation"
"0093","The Ultimate Dodge Mod - Script Fixes"
"0094","Dynamic Activation Key"
"0095","Caliente's Beautiful Bodies Enhancer -CBBE-"
"0096","CBPC - Physics with Collisions"
"0097","CBBE 3BA"
"0098","The New Gentleman"
"0099","Snake Argonian Texture"
"0100","Backported Extended ESL Support"
"0101","Masculine Khajiit Textures (Grey Cat and Leopard) [Better Males]"
"0102","RaceMenu"
"0103","mouth fix khajiit"
"0104","Underwear.dll"
"0105","Bestial Beast Races SE - Muscular Body Morphs and Height Scaling for Argonians and Khajiit"
"0106","The Coffee House"
"0107","Feminine Khajiit Textures (Grey Cat and Leopard) [CBBE]"
"0108","XP32 Maximum Skeleton Special Extended"
"0109","Faster HDT-SMP"
"0110","SMP-NPC crash fix"
"0111","HDT SMP beast race tail"
"0112","PapyrusUtil SE - Modders Scripting Utility Functions"
"0113","powerofthree's Papyrus Extender"
"0114","Dylbills Papyrus Functions"
"0115","Papyrus Ini Manipulator"
"0116","Attack MCO-DXP"
"0117","Payload Interpreter"
"0118","MCO Universal Support"
"0119","Separate Power Attacks"
"0120","Simple Dual Sheath"
"0121","Immersive Equipment Displays"
"0122","Weapon Styles - DrawSheathe Animations for IED"
"0123","BodySlide and Outfit Studio"
"0124","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword MCO Moveset"
"0125","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword Low Stance"
"0126","Leviathan Animations II - Female Idle Walk And Run"
"0127","Goetia Animations - Magic Spell Casting"
"0128","Goetia Animations - Sneak Magic"
"0129","Goetia Animations - Enchanted Staves"
"0130","Goetia Animations - Conditional Shouts"
"0131","Conditional Armor Type Animations"
"0132","First Person Animation Teleport Bug Fix"
"0133","Paired Animation Improvements"
"0134","Animation Queue Fix"
"0135","No Spinning Death Animation SE"
"0136","Lively Children Animations (OAR)"
"0137","Expressive Facial Animation -Female Edition-"
"0138","Vanargand Animations II - Unarmed Non Combat Locomotion"
"0139","Vanargand Animations II - Unarmed MCO Moveset"
"0140","Vanargand Animations - Sword Dual Wield Moveset MCO - SkySA"
"0141","Vanargand Animations - Sneak idle walk and run"
"0142","Vanargand Animations II - Unarmed Normal And Power Attacks"
"0143","Vanargand Animations - Sneak Thrust Attacks"
"0144","Animation Event Logger"
"0145","Vanargand Animations - Sneak Strike Attacks"
"0146","Vanargand Animations - Sneak Archery"
"0147","Vanargand Animations - One Handed Power Attacks"
"0148","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword Non Combat Locomotion"
"0149","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword Normal Attacks"
"0150","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword Sneak Locomotion And Attacks"
"0151","Leviathan Animations II - Male Idle Walk And Run"
"0152","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword Power And Sprint Attacks"
"0153","Leviathan Animations II - Sprint"
"0154","Vanargand Animations - Crossbows"
"0155","Vanargand Animations - Archery"
"0156","Vanargand Animations - Dual Wield Normal and Power Attacks"
"0157","Vanargand Animations - Dual Wield Sneak Strikes"
"0158","Vanargand Animations - One Handed Normal Attacks"
"0159","Vanargand Animations - One Handed Mid Stance"
"0160","Vanargand Animations - Mace Moveset MCO - SkySA"
"0161","Vanargand Animations - Dual Wield Sneak Thrusts"
"0162","Strike Obstruction Systems - Combat Blocking Overhaul"
"0163","Shield Of Stamina - Blocking Redux"
"0164","dTry Plugin Updates"
"0165","True Directional Movement - Modernized Third Person Gameplay"
"0166","TrueHUD - HUD Additions"
"0167","True Directional Movement - Tail Animation Fix"
"0168","Jaxonz Positioner Converted"
"0169","Jaxonz MCM Kicker SE"
"0170","MCM Helper"
"0171","S.M.C. - SKYRIM MOTION CONTROL"
"0172","S.M.C. - SKYRIM MOTION CONTROL - MCM"
"0173","Better Jumping SE"
"0174","Skyrim's Paraglider"
"0175","Skyrim's Paraglider Anniversary Edition Update"
"0176","Precision"
"0177","Nemesis Creatures BEHAVIOUR compatibility"
"0178","Nemesis Creature Behaivour - WereWolf Addon"
"0179","Precision Creatures"
"0180","SSE Display Tweaks"
"0181","Better Third Person Selection - BTPS"
"0182","SCAR - Skyrim Combos AI Revolution"
"0183","SCAR AE Support"
"0184","IFrame Generator RE AE Support"
"0185","Behavior Data Injector"
"0186","Behavior Data Injector Universal Support"
"0187","powerofthree's Tweaks"
"0188","Spell Perk Item Distributor"
"0189","Improved Camera SE"
"0190","Immersive Interactions - Animated Actions"
"0191","Crash Logger SSE AE VR - PDB support"
"0192","ConsoleUtilSSE"
"0193","JContainers SE"
"0194","FSMPM - The FSMP MCM"
"0195","CBPC Equipment Physics"
"0196","Your mom (and dad)"
"0197","Achievements Mods Enabler"
"0198","Realistic Water Two SE"
"0199","Water in Wells - mesh-only animated wells"
"0200","Skyrim Caches"
"0201","Moonlight Tales Mini - Highly Compatible Werewolf and Werebear Addon"
"0202","Growl - Werebeasts of Skyrim"
"0203","Underwear for BHUNP and HIMBO for Underwear.dll"
"0204","Fuz Ro D-oh - Silent Voice"
"0205","Sound Record Distributor"
"0206","Storm Lightning for SSE and VR (Minty Lightning 2019)"
"0207","Thunder Sounds - WiZkiD Mix -"
"0208","Enhanced Blood Textures"
"0209","Audio Overhaul for Skyrim (4.1.2)"
"0210","A Tribute to the Kaua'i 'o'o- Immersive Easter Eggs (SE-AE version)"
"0211","NPC Dialogue Audio Enhancer"
"0212","Skyrim Extended Cut - Saints and Seducers"
"0213","Acoustic Space Improvement Fixes"
"0214","Reverb Interior Sounds Expansion"
"0215","Regional Sounds Expansion (SRD - Wilds Dungeons Towns Ambience Birds - Fixes)"
"0216","Precision Trail Replacer - Simple"
"0217","SkyHUD"
"0218","QuickLoot EE"
"0219","ConsolePlusPlus"
"0220","Wynter's Breezehome"
"0221","moreHUD Inventory Edition"
"0222","moreHUD SE"
"0223","More Informative Console"
"0224","SkyTEST - Realistic Animals and Predators SE"
"0225","More Immersive Activations (SkyRem Activations)"
"0226","EVG Animated Traversal"
"0227","Dungeons - Revisited"
"0228","SkyClimb"
"0229","Simpler Knock"
"0230","Take a Peek - New Stealth Mechanic"
"0231","Interactive Wash Basins"
"0232","The Final Cataclysm - 2020"
"0233","EVG Animated Traversal - Patch Collection"
"0234","Purchaseable Store-Display-Items"
"0235","Convenient Dialogue UI - SE"
"0236","Take a Peek - New Stealth Mechanic - Settings Loader"
"0237","A Matter of Time - A HUD clock widget"
"0238","A Matter of Time - A HUD clock widget - Settings Loader"
"0239","Static Mesh Improvement Mod"
"0240","Static Mesh improvement Mod - SMIM - Quality Addon"
"0241","Stones of Barenziah Quest Markers"
"0242","Take a Nap - Sleep on Chairs"
"0243","Horns Are Forever (Persistent Argonian Horns)"
"0244","Improved closefaced helmets"
"0245","Improved Closedfaced Helmets Patches"
"0246","Convenient Horses"
"0247","Take a Seat - New Sitting Animations for OAR or DAR"
"0248","Better Wedding Guests"
"0249","Falskaar"
"0250","Falskaar - Addons and Patches - Fast Travel fix"
"0251","Falskaar - Addons and Patches"
"0252","Moonpath to Elsweyr SSE"
"0253","Comprehensive Falskaar Fixes"
"0254","Beyond Skyrim - Assets"
"0255","Beyond Skyrim - Bruma"
"0256","Beyond Skyrim - Bruma inegration patch"
"0257","Fat Skyrim - A worldspace expansion - Standalone"
"0258","Darkend"
"0259","Beyond Reach"
"0260","Fluffworks (Fluffy Animals)"
"0263","Static Mesh Improvement Mod Improvement Mod"
"0265","Simple Wearable Lanterns"
"0266","The Scarlett - A Buildable Ship (SE)"
"0267","Wolf Follower - Dynamic pet including Hunger and Growth system - SE"
"0268","Security Overhaul SKSE - Lock Variations"
"0269","Security Overhaul SKSE - Add-ons"
"0270","Skyrim Immersive Creatures Special Edition"
"0271","Zoro's Katana's"
"0272","Berserk Judeau Armor"
"0273","Equip Enchantment Fix"
"0274","Scrambled Bugs"
"0275","Falling Gildergreen Petals - SE"
"0276","Gildergreen Regrown"
"0277","Keyword Item Distributor"
"0278","MergeMapper"
"0279","Dialogue Movement Enabler"
"0280","Dirt and Blood - Dynamic Visual Effects"
"0281","The Forgotten City"
"0282","Expanded Dragon Bridge"
"0283","Skyrim Borders Disabled - SSE-Edition"
"0284","Helgen Reborn"
"0285","Enhanced Solitude SSE"
"0286","Icy Mesh Remaster"
"0287","Settlements Expanded"
"0288","Stonecrest City Reborn SE"
"0289","Midwood Isle"
"0290","Siege at Icemoth"
"0291","Siege at Icemoth F&S patch"
"0292","Beyond Reach - Tweaks and Enhancements"
"0293","More Bandit Camps SSE"
"0294","Wyrmstooth"
"0295","All Thieves Guild Jobs Concurrently"
"0296","Bandit Economy"
"0297","Bandit Lines Expansion"
"0298","Clockwork (SSE)"
"0299","The Gray Cowl of Nocturnal SE"
"0300","Blackreach Railroad"
"0301","Brhuce Hammar Legacy - Special Edition"
"0302","Aethernautics- A Space Travel Mod"
"0303","The Lost Wonders of Mzark"
"0304","Fyr Manor Special Edition"
"0305","Dwemer Spectres Special Edition"
"0306","Ancient Dwemer Metal - My patches for SMIM Dawnguard Dragonborn by Xtudo"
"0307","The Wheels of Lull - Unwound Edition - Settings Loader"
"0308","The Wheels of Lull SE"
"0309","Moon and Star"
"0310","Catching Clockwork - Wheels of Lull Fishing Addon"
"0311","TrueHUD - Wheels of Lull Patch"
"0312","Khajiit have ears"
"0313","Toymania"
"0314","IA Merged - Vanilla version"
"0315","Garm the Husky Companion"
"0316","Fare Thee Well - Spouses and Children Give Blessings (TAGS - Family)"
"0317","Immersive World Encounters SE"
"0318","BERSERK"
"0319","Berserk - The Black Swordsman"
"0320","Berserker Armor - An Immersive Berserk-inspired Armor"
"0321","ADXP I MCO Berserker guts Animation"
"0322","Dragon Slayer - Berserk"
"0323","BDOR Berserker Conversions"
"0324","Berserker Armor - BDOR Berserk Model"
"0325","[immyneedscake] BDOR Berserk SSE (Cloth SMP)"
"0326","Berserker Armor - SkyTEST Patch"
"0327","Berserker Armor - Immersive World Encounters Patch"
"0328","Berserker Armor - Growl Patch"
"0329","Berserker Armor MAIN FILE"
"0330","Berserker Armor - Update"
"0331","Footprints"
"0332","Footprints - Alternative Design"
"0333","SPID for Footprints"
"0334","Ultimate fix - SPID for Footprints"
"0335","Boethiah for Good Guys"
"0336","Capital Windhelm Expansion"
"0337","Capital Windhelm Expansion ai"
"0338","Capital Windhelm Expansion ussep"
"0339","Capital Windhelm Expansion - Normal"
"0340","Warbird's Whiterun Metropolis"
"0341","WWM - USSEP Patch"
"0342","WWM - DVLaSS Underside Patch"
"0343","Whiterun Battle Brothers"
"0344","WWM - SIC Patch"
"0345","SIC SE - Add-Ons and Patches"
"0346","VIGILANT SEAE"
"0347","VIGILANT Voiced - English Addon"
"0348","TrueHUD - Vigilant Boss Bars ini"
"0349","Attack Dogs - A dog combat overhaul"
"0350","Attack Dogs - Bone Wolf CC Patch"
"0351","Attack Dogs - Skytest - SIC Patch"
"0352","Attack Dogs - Unofficial Skyrim Patch"
"0353","Attack Dogs - Vigilant Patch"
"0354","Attack Dogs - Wolf Follower Patch"
"0355","Attack Dogs - Winterhold Restored Patch"
"0356","Immersive College NPCs"
"0357","Immersive College of Winterhold"
"0358","Actor Limit Fix"
"0359","Better College Application"
"0360","Obscure's College of Winterhold"
"0361","Ultimate College of Winterhold"
"0362","Winterhold Restored"
"0363","Relationship Dialogue Overhaul - RDO SE"
"0364","Relationship Dialogue Overhaul - Update and MCM"
"0365","ES - EVGAT Patch"
"0366","Solitude Docks Updated"
"0367","Expanded Towns and Cities"
"0368","Cities of the North - Falkreath"
"0369","The Great City Of Falkreath SSE Edition"
"0370","Cities of the North - Falkreath Patch Collection"
"0371","Lanterns Of Skyrim II"
"0372","Myrwatch - Editable Home Cells (Cell Bug Workaround)"
"0373","SkyTest Integration"
"0374","Cities of the North - Morthal"
"0375","Interesting NPCs (3DNPC) - Patches"
"0376","Mfg Fix"
"0377","Civil War Aftermath SE"
"0378","The Shire SE"
"0379","Undeath Remastered"
"0380","Carved Brink"
"0381","Skyrim Cut Content Restoration"
"0382","Extended Vanilla Menus"
"0383","Point The Way"
"0384","Jewelry Limiter - Another Multiple Rings and Amulets Mod"
"0385","Equipable Beast Tails - HDT SMP (Physics)"
"0386","BIGGERER Smp Argonian Tails"
"0387","ES AI Overhaul patch"
"0388","Gemling Queen Jewelry SE"
"0389","Folkstead and the Border of Hammerfell"
"0390","Circlet USSEP Fixes"
"0391","Gemling Queen Jewelry SE USSEP Circlet Fix"
"0392","Undeath - Classical Lichdom"
"0393","Undeath - XPMSSE - Strange Runes - Skeleton Patch"
"0394","Pirates Wield Cutlasses"
"0395","AI Overhaul SSE - Official Patch Hub"
"0396","Xelzaz - Custom Fully Voiced Argonian Telvanni Follower"
"0397","Beyond Skyrim - Wares of Tamriel SE"
"0398","Project AHO"
"0399","Project AHO - Skytest Patch (Fix Invisible Mudcrabs) - ESPFE"
"0400","Unofficial Project AHO - Bugfix and Improvement Patch"
"0401","College of Winterhold - Quest Expansion"
"0402","Better Dynamic Snow SE"
"0403","LeanWolf's Better-Shaped Weapons - All in One Installer"
"0404","Civil War Deserters"
"0405","Castle Volkihar Rebuilt - SSE"
"0406","Cloaks of Skyrim SSE"
"0407","Artesian Cloaks of Skyrim"
"0408","FileAccess Interface for Skyrim SE Scripts - FISSES"
"0409","Depths of the Reach"
"0410","Skyrim Underground SSE"
"0411","SkyrimUnderground_Add-On"
"0412","Cities of the North - Dawnstar"
"0413","Save The Dark Brotherhood - Skyrim Special Edition"
"0414","Dark Brotherhood Reborn - Dawnstar Sanctuary SEE"
"0415","House of Horrors - Quest Expansion"
"0416","Nilheim - Misc Quest Expansion"
"0417","The Only Cure - Quest Expansion"
"0418","The Only Cure Quest Expansion - Patches"
"0419","The Whispering Door - Quest Expansion"
"0420","The Heart of Dibella - Quest Expansion"
"0421","The Shire Unofficial Patch"
"0422","Unofficial Carved Brink Patch"
"0423","Go to bed"
"0424","Sleeping Expanded - Animations and NPC reactions"
"0425","Skyrim Sleeping Bags SE - Sleep Under Blankets"
"0426","Skyrim Reputation"
"0427","Skyrim Reputation Improved"
"0428","Skyrim Reputation - Fixed and Patched"
"0429","The Innocence Lost - Quest Expansion"
"0430","Thieves Guild Alternative Endings"
"0431","Destroy the Thieves Guild - Special Edition"
"0432","Skyrim Reputation Patches for Quest Expansions and Alternate Routes"
"0433","Dynamic Activation Key - MCM"
"0434","Dynamic Activation Key - Addons Collection"
"0435","Drengin's Blue Palace Terrace"
"0436","ES Blue Palace Terrace"
"0437","ES LoS II Patch"
"0438","BluePalaceTerrace-AI Overhaul-patch-SE"
"0439","Bruma and Other Patches for Convenient Horses"
"0440","Paarthurnax - Quest Expansion"
"0441","Scion - A Vampire Overhaul"
"0442","Save the Icerunner - Lights Out Alternate Routes"
"0443","Penitus Oculatus"
"0444","About Roggvir"
"0445","Defy the Gardener"
"0446","Serious Civil War Finale Sieges"
"0447","Supreme Fog for Morthal Region"
"0448","Base Object Swapper"
"0449","CC Bow of Shadows Lingering Invisibility Fix"
"0450","Riften Extension - Southwoods District"
"0451","Vanilla hair remake"
"0452","Dark Brotherhood Reborn - Patches Tweaks and Enhancements"
"0453","EVGAT - Dynamic Climb-able Ladder Doors"
"0454","INIGO"
"0455","Inigo Whistle Key"
"0456","Inigo - Bloodchill Manor patch"
"0457","Inigo Riding Patch"
"0458","Midwood Isle - Beyond Skyrim Bruma patch fix"
"0459","Whose Quest is it Anyway NG"
"0460","Happy Little Trees"
"0461","Happy Little Shrubs"
"0462","Skyland Happy Little Trees Bark"
"0463","ES Happy Little Shrubs patch"
"0464","Skyland AIO"
"0465","Better Dynamic Ash SE"
"0466","Slightly More Revealing Vanilla Clothing - 3BA Bodyslide"
"0467","Moonpath to Elsweyr Navmesh Fix"
"0468","GKB Waves Reborn"
"0469","GKB Waves Reborn-Midwood Isle"
"0470","GKB Waves"
"0471","Use Those Blankets"
"0472","Become a Bard"
"0473","Bards Reborn Student of Song Become a Bard and Bards College Expansion"
"0474","Serana Dialogue Add-On"
"0475","SDA Patch Hub SE"
"0476","Skyrim Reputation - Scion A Vampire Overhaul Patch"
"0477","Trueblood Serana"
"0478","Dawnguard Don't Hunt Cured Vampires"
"0479","QAPP - Quests Award Perk Points"
"0480","AI Overhaul - Various Patches"
"0481","COTN Morthal Patch Collection"
"0482","COTN Dawnstar Patch Collection"
"0483","QAPP - Quests Award Perk Points Patches"
"0484","Quest Conflict Fixes - Get Aegisbane"
"0485","Quest Conflict Fixes SSE"
"0486","Berserker Armor - Quest Conflict Fixes Patch"
"0487","Shadow of Skyrim - Nemesis and Alternative Death System"
"0488","Improved Camera SE - INI Tweaks"
"0489","SmoothCam"
"0490","SmoothCam - Modern Camera Preset"
"0491","SmoothCam Vanilla Enhanced 2"
"0492","Combat Pathing Revolution - NG"
"0493","BeastHHBB - Khajiit and Argonian content - player character and NPC replacer"
"0494","Immersive Armors"
"0495","Immersive Armours - SSE CBBE 3BA BodySlide"
"0496","Skyrim Reputation - Sneak Tools Patch"
"0497","Sneak Tools SE Edition"
"0498","Lux"
"0499","Lux - Via"
"0500","Lux Orbis"
"0501","Lux (patch hub)"
"0502","Lux - Via (patch hub)"
"0503","Lux Orbis (patch hub)"
"0504","Unofficial Lux Patchhub"
"0505","Sweets and Such - Baking Expanded SE"
"0506","Bards Reborn Enchanced Solitude Patch"
"0507","Bards Reborn Student of Song Undeath Patch"
"0508","Bards Reborn Student of Song AI Overhaul and USSEP Patch"
"0509","Moon and Star - Undeath Remastered Patch"
"0510","Immersive Sounds - Compendium"
"0511","Audio Overhaul - Immersive Sounds Integration (AOS - ISC Compatibility Patch)"
"0512","Unofficial Moonpath to Elsweyr Patch"
"0513","Bards Reborn USSEP Patch"
"0514","Castle Volkihar Rebuilt - Relationship Dialogue Overhaul Patch"
"0515","Cathedral Weathers and Seasons"
"0516","ENB Helper SE"
"0517","Particle Patch for ENB"
"0518","Obsidian Mountain Fogs"
"0519","Embers XD"
"0520","ENB Light"
"0521","Enhanced Volumetric Lighting and Shadows (EVLaS)"
"0522","Rudy ENB Cathedral Weathers ADDONS and REQUiRED Files"
"0523","Moons And Stars - Sky Overhaul SKSE"
"0524","Splashes Of Storms"
"0525","Rudy fix for Splashes of Storms and ENB"
"0526","Bright Waterfall Fix for ENB"
"0527","Less Distracting Blowing Snow Effects for ENB Particle Patch"
"0528","Show Player In Menus"
"0529","CoMAP"
"0530","Infinity UI"
"0531","Compass Navigation Overhaul"
"0532","Dear Diary Dark Mode (warm text)"
"0533","Dear Diary Dark Mode - Compass Navigation Overhaul Patch"
"0534","Stress and Fear - A Dynamic Sanity System"
"0535","Flat World Map Framework"
"0536","Extended Cut - Saints and Seducers Paper Map for FWMF"
"0537","Apocrypha Paper Map for FWMF"
"0538","Beyond Reach Paper Map for FWMF"
"0539","Midwood Isle Paper Map for FWMF"
"0540","Strange Runes"
"0541","ElSopa - Potions Redone"
"0542","RUSTIC SOULGEMS - Special Edition"
"0543","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Soul Gems"
"0544","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Deathbells and Nirnroots"
"0545","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Torchbugs and Moths"
"0546","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Bthardamz"
"0547","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Chaurus Eggs and Sacs"
"0548","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Glowing Mushrooms"
"0549","Rudy - More dramatic Red Mountain Plume"
"0550","Patch for Rudy HQ Misc. and Expanded Towns and Cities ETaC"
"0551","Obscure's College of Winterhold - Rudy HQ Miscellaneous SE Patch"
"0552","Soul Cairn Paper Map for FWMF"
"0553","Skyrim Paper Map by Caro Tuts for FWMF"
"0554","Paper Coldharbour Map for VIGILANT (FWMF)"
"0555","Duncan's Paper Maps for FWMF"
"0556","Rudy HQ - Standing Stones SE"
"0557","Bright Waterfall Fix for ENB Fix - Purple wind"
"0558","Use Or Take SKSE"
"0559","Oblivion Interaction Icons"
"0560","The Wheels of Lull CBBE 3BA and HIMBO Patch"
"0561","TrueHUD - HUD Additions - Gray Cowl of Nocturnal Boss Ini Tweaks"
"0562","Immersive Armors Patch"
"0563","Prisoner cart fix SMIM"
"0564","Sunder and Wraithguard - Editable Vault Cell (Cell Bug Workaround)"

Hi I'm 16f and just found out I have curly hair but I have been treating it wrong but now I have been trying to look at videos and look up products and I have been trying a few different techniques I'm just looking for any and all tips on ( styling , products are good and just random advice) for ref I have very very thick hair and if I applied no product or heat to my hair then it ends up looking like I have been dragged through a bush backwards and then chucked off a plane and at that time I also experience shrinkage and my hair being in general very dry and tuggy and when I apply heat it has to be 230 for above to get anything done as I used to straighten my hair a lot and I also have a frige that goes to my eyebrow idk if thats useful but yea thank you any and all advice will be greatly appreciate

Been working as a budget analyst for a couple years now. I’m a guy and I recently tried growing my hair out and wearing my earrings but got told by my mgr and his boss that I looked unprofessional. My hair was well groomed and styled and my earrings are small plain hoops.
Did I just happen to land in a more conservative bunch of federales or is this typical? Feels like I’ve heard of a lot of fed employees having a much easier time existing on the more expressive end of the appearance spectrum.

I had a dream yesterday about our world, but Starwars was made in Bollywood instead of Hollywood. It was named Starwatch.
It had a young Luke skywalker, that looked about 17 years old with freckles and very curly hair.
Han Solo was a big, fat Very brown Indian man who acted as a very famous Bollywood action star aka always squinting, doing martial arts and having long luscious hair waving in the wind.
Chewie looked the same, but his fur was dark red brown and had long luscious hair as well.
Princess Leia was just a kidnapped princess in a castle, where she looked anxious and sometimes danced her cares away.
Obi wan was a old, frail guru, with long white hair and a body that looked like it hadn’t eaten for years.
Darth Vader was a Japanese Oni demon, with bloodshot eyes, big front row teeths coming out his mouth and dressed in black clad samurai heavy armor.
Lightsabers were literally just rapiers, small and thin and only used with one hand, but obi wan and Vader were fighting flying through the air, like they were on wires aka hidden tiger Crouching dragon style.
Wierd dream

I had thought this thread was about tips and tricks for looking sharp, you know nice hair gel/wax, how to do certain styles and dress with style!
Instead it is full of young and actually quite good looking guys with terribly low self-esteem asking if they look okay!

Sorry it's quite late where I am (for me) and I can't sleep so apologies for typos or formatting.
My sister encouraged me to come here (again). She's an avid reddit user and she's the one that found the story about me but I can't find it and she can't either now. Some of you might remember it as I'm writing.
Anyways, I (32F) and my husband (33M) were invited to my nieces birthday party on April 27th.
We don't get along with my SIL, she's the most entitled person I've ever known. I've tried my best to get on with her and even asked her to be my bridesmaid when I got married.
She made everything about her, she didn't like the dresses, she didn't like the shoes, she refused to come with us to go shopping but got upset that we'd chosen the dresses without her. We did try our best to find a date that suited her but instead she went off with her boyfriend every time. I did tell her politely that if she didn't like the dress then she could step down being a bridesmaid, nope she went crying to my MIL that I'd dropped her as one, of course, my MIL believed her over me and I had to send screenshots to prove that I didn't drop her. I didn't get an apology either, the messages just stopped. I was ignored for a few days and then a message appeared as if nothing happened from my SIL.
My in laws enable her behaviour by always talking down to my husband and siding with her over any minor detail. I have told him, he needs to stick up for himself but he won't. It's easier for him to just 'take it'.
She was upset she didn't get a plus one but my other bridesmaids did. My other bridesmaids were either already married or had long term partners not one that had been on the scene for all of 3 months. She wanted him to be part of the bridal party and to be a groomsman. The best we could do was invite to the reception because of the allocated numbers, apparently that wasn't good enough! We were asked to drop a guest and then bump him up, I explained I wasn't going to do that as I'd already got the RSVP's from everyone. Anyway, he did come to the reception and he left after 2.5 hours and I didn't even communicate with him so I assume he felt uncomfortable. The reason I didn't communicate with him was because it's not up to me to introduce myself, 'oh hi I'm the bride, nice to meet you.' Not one of my husband's family said congratulations to us either and they tried to take photos of my husband with his family without me.
They've always done that, always got me to either take the photo or could I move out of the way as it's 'only family' allowed in photos. I wasn't invited to their thanksgivings/Christmases/birthdays either, I don't think my MIL liked the fact that her son was growing up. We were 24 when we met. They also tried to take one last 'hurrah holiday' to Cuba before my husband and I got married, leaving me behind. I was quite upset but let my husband go. I found it entertaining that my in laws were perfectly okay with me not going anywhere or invited but somehow my SIL boyfriend HAD to come to our wedding...?
Fast forward 4 years, they're still together. Cool. I still don't really know him that well, let's just say my husband and I's relationship with our in laws got majorly strained after our wedding.
So our niece is 1 this year. We were invited to go to the birthday party but we declined. We were told that we were selfish and didn't care about our niece. I do care about my niece and so does my husband but we're not free babysitters and I am very rarely invited out to go see her even if I tried to arrange it myself, it's either, SIL goes out with my husband and niece or we look after her for the day without SIL..? But my SIL will have ago at both of us over message to say we clearly don't care about spending time with them. SIL also makes a huge point about me either being aunty or not being aunty, it's like a weird power flex.
My in laws live in a different state but my SIL lives in our state. So my in laws very rarely see the child either. They wanted to go to sunny Florida now they've retired whereas we're out in California.
SIL had ago at us because she was asking for money towards our nieces savings account which we declined and bought her some presents instead. Apparently she 'already has' the presents we got her and maybe if we made more of an effort to see her we'd have known that... so we've wasted our money on some toys that could've gone into her savings account 🤷🏼‍♀️
She doesn't even get us presents that we would like, not that I'm complaining because I'm grateful for anything. I just think if you can't get us something we want ourselves how can you expect us to be okay with giving money to your daughter??
For a bit more context, she didn't come to my bachelorette party, instead she plastered all her insta that she was out with her bf and told my other bridesmaids it 'wasn't her thing' so we said the same words to my SIL as to why we weren't going. She doesn't make the effort to see either of us on our birthdays. She bitched about me to my MOH that I wasn't being fair to her that I can't understand that she's busy and then bitched about me again because I wasn't involving her with the wedding details?? It's either one or the other!
She said my wedding dress was tacky and 'not her style'. She didn't like the hairdresser doing her hair. She didn't like the layout of the venue etc etc.
Anyway I'm unsure where to go from here. I'm thinking of going LC or NC from my side and let my husband decide what he wants to do.

Hi there everyone, I kind of curious, I have been writing a crossover fanfic in the style of Super Robot Wars storylines. One of the Franchises I want to add is RWBY, however, I never really got into the series until playing Blazblue Cross Tag Battle and during his time I started read up on the series on various wiki pages.
So, if I'm wrong on any details or something does seem to match the character's personalities, please tell me!
In this point of the fanfic, it took place after my idea of an ending to the series, so here goes nothing!
The white haired huntress explained why she feels this is the case, telling them the story of her younger brother and his road for redemption.
For the longest of times, Whitley had nothing but hatred for his older sisters and saw the hunters and huntresses as below him, mocking Weiss every moment he had while she was under house arrest. Escaping from this sham of a home, she swore the boy and their father were nothing but monsters and for their actions were things that she never could forgive. That is until it was after the arrest of their father and their manor being invaded by Grimms that cracks were showing in his facade of pettiness.
"During that fight, Whitley wanted nothing but to run off, until he saw our mother fighting against the Grimm before falling from the underuse of her Semblance when he knew he needed to help."
After saving Willow and learning from their mother that Whitley was as much of a victim as anyone else that the middle child chose to mend their damaged relationship. During the fall of their home Kingdom of Atlas, he continued to help by having all the SDC Saircrafts to save anyone and everyone to relocate the people to Vacuo. When the Team RWBY and Jaune return from Ever After, he became part of the attacking forces as a commander to help defeat Salem's forces.
In the final battle, He was present to witness Ruby Rose and Kairi sparing the now depowered and mortal Salem, who was told to simply live with reminders of her sins haunting her until the day she died, as this was her last life. "While we watch Salem leaving to parts unknown, I thought Whitley was going to say something foolish, but to my surprise, he only watched.
In the four weeks after Salem's defeat, Whitley began his new life but it was something to adjusted to as he worked a part time job and began to start classes in that first week The heir of whatever remained of the SDC let his hair grow out slightly, he may have been inspired by a picture of Jaune's appearance during his time in Mistral but still kept a very clean appearance.
It wasn't until a week ago that there were some Jacques' old associates from Vacuo wanted to give Whitley the position of CEO of a new company, one named Phoenix Ash.
"At first, I thought he just wanted to go back to his old ways of life when he agreed to the deal, Asked from me was to trust him about this..."
Out of the blue, The new CEO of the Phoenix Ash Group called for a Public Announcement. Weiss and Winter were watching on a monitor in an aircraft outside of the city. Fearing for the worst, that he would be making empty promises to make a postive public image, the boy spoke of ending the practices of abusing Fanuas workers. This was a lie that their father made to the press when he was alive, before the young CEO spoke of his new idea.
When questioned by the Press, Whitley told the world that he his idea was to start finding better sources than just Dust to rely on, so he would put his own Lien that he held on since childhood to fund this research. If this research was successful, then he would personally see to the closure of all Dust Mines under the Pheonix Ash banter but threaten that if any of the Fanuas workers were harmed during his time as CEO, that under his leadership that he personally see it that the abusers' paychecks would go to their victims and repeated offenders would be fired as quickly as possible. The two sisters begin to noticed that four of The Board Members who hired him were in shaking in their boots.
"Young Sir, please think of the words you speak..." one of Jacques' remaining associates on the board begged to hopefully conviced the boy to reconsider these ideas
"I am fully aware of the words coming from my mouth as much as you were aware of letting my father's actions slide so you can make more Lien. So, to be quite blunt, SHUT IT OR FIND NEW JOBS!" This wasn't like the boy they once knew while Jacques was thriving, he was a new Whitley Schnee that wouldn't be swayed by the idea of making Lien in dishonest ways and wouldn't allow anyone under his leadership to harm the Faunus workers.
"DAMNED BLEEDING HEART BRAT, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE JACQUES, THE REAL HEIR OF THE NAME OF SCHNEE!"
The oldest board member, a muscular bald man of over fourty who was still extremely loyal to the deceased CEO of SDC, charged at the youth with a knife! The youngest of the Schnee clan knew there would be risks, but didn't have any fighting experience to counter this attack.
"WHITLEY!" Weiss cried out as she knew she wouldn't be able to stop the would be killer's attempt of assassination, however, a certain green eyed Faunus, who's loyalites to Robyn Hill last to this day, arrived in enough time to stopped the youth's would be killer.
"You really think that Fiona Thyme would let you kill your new boss? As IF!"
Within a mere set of seconds, the man of three hundred and something pounds was on the ground, each insult that was aimed at the girl was countered with his former boss nodding for the girl to wack the creep across his bald head. This last for a couple of minutes until the police to take his sorry ass to jail as well as charging the Faunus with a minor crime. The girl knew that there would no way to escape but chose not to surrender as she put her hands behind her head much to the cheers of some in the crowd.
However, In those five seconds before the cuffs closed on her hands, The CEO jumped off of the platform and stood in between the messy haired Faunus girl and the arresting officer, slapping the cuff out of the man's hands to the shock of the world. When asked to step aside, the boy's answer to this was something everyone in Remnant, who were either in the crowd or watched from afar from their scrolls, never expected.
"You're really asking me to step aside, so you could take away a war hero's future? I choose to refuse for we all know these charges against her are nothing but baseless. She fought on the side of various heroes! Heroes ] from the Battle of Beacon, like the Teams: RWBY, JNPR, SSSN, FNKI, ABRN and CFVY, the heroes without teams like Lady Kairi, Qrow Branwen, and Taiyang Xiao Long, Heroes like Ilia Amitola and the Belladonna clan who were once White Fang members but left before the assassination of Sienna Khan and return to fight to stop the once peaceful group when they saw what it became under the command of Adam Taurus, heroes like the remaining members of the Ace Operatives, who fought their own feelings of sadness when they lost Clover Ebi and came together after they realized James Ironwood was in the wrong, after the man fell into despair because of how the upper class saw the innocent victims in Remnant and used Atlas as a ram to prevent the Grimm from gaining another advantage point. These groups of heroic and wonderful people came together to save the world from the forces of Salem, so why can't we, the civilains they protected, do the same?!"
There were some mutters from the civilians that watch on the ground level before one of the rich members of the crowd, a man named Harry Marigold, brought up that Weiss may have saved the world but of her crime of summoning the Grimm at the charity event at Schnee Manor should be held accountable before the youth counter with.
"The crime that night was one in justified anger when you, Harry Marigold, who ignored her sadness and only wanted my sister's attention for bragging rights, that damnable trophy wife, her weak minded shell of a husband, the former CEO of the SDC, myself and many others of the Upper Class chose to cruely mocked the recently deceased of Vale and proudly laughing about the deaths of the many innocents of the fallen Kingdom who had nothing to do with the fighting. fates we claimed that civilains deserved!? If anything, she didn't summoned the Grimm to harm anyone but wanted us demons to understand that life is not to be taken as a joke or anything to not to be take lightly. The real crime that night was that the Grimm didn't caused more damages to Schnee manor and not having the monster hurt any of us because of our cruelity to the dead! But because the CEO of SDC cared for nothing but his public image, when she confronted that scumbag for our actions and for using her as a prize toy for everyone to see, his only reaction was to slapped my sister across her face and denied her Birthright!
This made the rich members of the crowd uneasy, as they knew that they were being put in their places. They wanted the youth to be silenced but he continued, angry and filled with something that he should've had a long time ago, a frightful sense of Justice.
"For too damn long, I was blinded by my family's name, not knowing it was nothing but an evil curse and if it wasn't for my sister's actions that night and the night her team and the remaining members of team JNPR saved the lives of my poor mother and the sorry shell of a person. I, too, would've remained under the very same spell of ignorance that the old fool relished in to keep us in line. So, for you to order me around, to use my sister justified attempt on the upper class to see her honorable view on life so who could silence my words, and to force this maiden, who has fought harder than anyone here because fearful paranoia bigots using unjust hatred of every Faunus to make her life a living torture device, for her to rot in a prison cell without a fair trial, just for saving my life? That command is UNFORGIVABLE!" The boy screamed loudly and in pure rage so everyone could hear his plea.
Fiona was in shock, she heard from various communities of the Faunus that the SDC and clan of Schnee were nothing but monsters, worse than any of Salem's Grimms. Even after meeting the huntresses of Team RWBY, she believed Weiss was the only one of the family who wanted to set things right in the world.
Even through she hated the idea to keep an eye on the Schnee heir, even if it was a jobn from her trusted leader. His father and the fellow members of the Board in the SDC saw the Faunus and wanted nothing but for them to be trapped in cages without futures, But to see with her eyes, the very son made to follow in these footsteps of selfish desires, meaning every single word that left his mouth, these words that were filled with a justified desire to save the young girl from an unfair fate, was so unreal.
"If anything, it was the wicked ideas of greed that the deceased CEO held dear tt were one of the many factors that broke our world, Jacques Sc..." The boy stopped for less than a second before continuing in anger.
"....Actually no, I refuse to allow that bastard to my family's name any longer, even in death! Jacques Gélé was never a father, he was nothing but an unredeemable thief without a sense honor, who used dirty lies to trick my dying grandfather into his once humble life, the honorable man that should've had the right to lived long enough to prevent the future Gélé wanted, Nicholas Schnee!"
"Who used my recently deceased mother's, Willow Schnee, love and trust to steal a company he was never worthy to rule over from underneath her. When she learned of his deception and his lies in their sham of a relationship, the once loving and carring mother only means to escape from his wicked virus was to drink her sorrows away and seclude herself from the world!
"His sickness was something that their three children were not immuned to as he saw nothing from us but to be used as pawns so he could gain more power! It wasn't until we learned better ways to live by others, others who actually cared, that we actually became good people!"
"The first of us was to learn this lesson was The Soldier who proven herself time and time again, who enlisted in the Atlas military to get away from the sickness that Gélé took pleasure in, who leaders knocked the views of hatred for the Faunus and the usage of cheap tricks out of her, my oldest sister, Commander Winter Schnee!
"My second oldest sister, Huntress Weiss Schnee, who learn of the shame that her family name carried at her time in Beacon, who was forced to leave after the battle by Gélé for supposed safety only to be paraded around as a prize trophy daughter for his friends in the upper class, who felt the sting of venom when that man refused to accept her heroic heart, forcing her to escape his maddess so she could continued helping those who were suffering!"
"And then there's myself, Whitley Schnee, the boy who was so scared with the various changes to his home life that he chose to follow in that thief's footsteps, who once mocked the dead of Beacon along with the others in the Upper Class, who has never fought for anything and even in that last battle, was so powerless to prevent more tragedies for befall those he commanded to fight on his behalf! The boy who's heart is filled with so much regret because of his idiotic choices in life but is now filled a newly found sense of Justice, who only goal now is to find a cure for the poison, so he could, no! will make our world a better place than it was in the past!"
The crowd was stunned thar they couldn't help but to stay silent.
"Gélé has cause so much suffering to the Faunus and to many other communities. That suffering spread in the Kingdoms like wildfire. When my grandfather died, so did the fairness and honor that the Schnee name held on to....but not anymore! MY DREAM is to stop the suffering that Gélé relished in so he could live like a damn lazy king!
Whitley then put his hands behind his head and told the world.
"So if this girl goes to prison, so will I! All I asked of those listening is not to cheer no matter what the outcome is, not to cry for this foolish boy who has fought for nothing, but to simply think about his words and the weight they pull!" Whitley's blood was boiling as The puppet CEO's bight blue eyes widden to show everyone that his dream was one that the boy will work for through his pain.
After this decree was finished, everything was slient before the officer asked. "Would you die for that dream..?"
Whitley, answered with all seriousness. "If I die, then I would gladly die with a hundred stabs to my heart and soul to make damn sure that my dream becomes reality." The officer waved to another cop to bring in a second set of handcuffs, much to both cops dismay.
"Alright, I'm sorry. Whitley Schnee for disobeying a officer of the law, you have to come with us."
Whitley said not a word as the cuffs latched onto his hands. As if to respect the boy's wishes, There were no one in the crowd, maybe even in Remnant, cheering about the arrest of these two, even though the boy said he had nothing but hatred of those that surround Gélé mocking those that died in Beacon, none of the them wanted nor could cheer, for to celebrate this would be nothing but hallowed.
On route to the department to put the two in the holding cells until they could make bond, the two talked, mostly it was Whitley asking the girl a thousands questions of the culture of the Faunus, the life she lived before becoming a war hero and so on. The poor girl was shaking with overwhelmingness but snapped out of it when Whitley explained something to her.
"This is the second time you saved me from the door of death, thank you, Lady Thyme."
Fiona was slightly confused before slowly piecing together that in the final battle she rushed to the location of downed aircraft, where a gravely injured woman layed under some debris being protected by her white haired son with a mere wooded stick he found on the ground screaming. "GET AWAY! YOU GRIMMS!" before being knocked backwards and then being held by his throat.
"HEY FANG FACES, I'M MORE OF A CHALLENGE THAN THOSE TWO!" The Fanaus screamed while the Grimm let the boy go to blocked her attack.
"KID! TAKE YOUR MOM AND GET OUTTA HERE, I CAN'T HOLD THIS GUY OFF FOREVER!"The boy nodded as he grabbed his mother and ran off, not knowing that he would plan to thank the maiden the next time they meet.
"No freaking way, you're that boy?"
"Yeah...but I'm not proud to admit that I'm not one for fighting." Whitley smiled as this surprised the girl.
To think, the meek boy she saved that one time and the guy who wanted to help others despite his family's reputation were the same person? How would this day become more of a weird fever dream?
"Hey you two, I hate to burst this bubble but ready for a fight, there was another vehicle besides ours that was on their way to the department." A male's voice explained when they noticed a man in a grey cloak sitting in the darkest corner of the vehicle.
"Before you asked, I've been here for the entire trip."
"Why is that important?" The only woman of the three thought while the Schnee youth figured it out.
"That ghoul of a Board Member?"
"'Faid so, he was taken in sometime before your speech and there are only two holding cells in the department, one for men and the other for women." The man explained.
"I could use my semblance to hold him in a..." Fiona was stopped when the mystery man continued.
"...And to prevent any escapes, the cells and those cuffs on your hands are laced with anti-semblance tech."
Fiona screamed. "OH CRAP!"
Whitley was shaken but kept cool as he thought. "I guess as this is a smaller scale city, I should've figured as much."
"Are you actually prepared to die for your ideas?" The man asked the boy, but his answer was simple.
"I'm not planning to back down now, to betray those words I spoke earlier, would be a wicked sin."
Meanwhile in an aircraft a little ways off. Both Weiss and Winter were dumbfounded by their brother's speech and actions. "He has changed so much since weeks ago." The middle child thought before Winter demanded the pilot to land that at the port nearest to the city.
Yang, Kairi, Jaune, Ruby, and Blake were on the aircraft but was confused by the sudden change of directions, before the commander explained. "The Board member that tried to killed our brother was sent to the holding cell in the department before Whitley's speech."
"OH CRAP!" Ruby and Weiss screamed as they thought in dismay that the boy was going to be in an one sided fight against a heavier opponent.
"Please hold on for a bit longer, Younger Brother..." Winter quietly whispered as the Aircraft was going as fast as possible to their destination.
Upon arriving and being settle in the two holding cells, it was when the guards left the redeemer was being used as a punching bag for the man's humiliation.
"DAMN BRATTY ASSED PUNK!"
"UGHHH!" Whitley groaned, being punched for a hour, his clothing became ragged and bloody.
"LEAVE WHITLEY ALONE!" Fiona cried out at the tallest in the men's holding cell, she was in the womens' holding cell that was across the room, luckly for her, she was alone in the women's side but not for Whitley, making things worse is that the guards were sent out on an emergency call, as their thinning numbers were sent out because of a few bomb threats elsewhere in the city.
"SHUT IT, SHEEPIE! I GOING KEEP BEATING THIS BRAT UNTIL HE UNDERSTANDS HIS PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE!"
"..." The man in the hood remained quiet as he watched this uneven fight. "You should stay down..."
"...As if I would..." The Schnee boy rose back to his feet through he knew nothing of throwing punches he refused to surrender just to spite the former Board Member of Phoenix Ash.
"HEH, for a skinny brat, you're stubborn, be a good little boy and admit that you're nothing but a puppet then I'll quit your rightly deserved beatings!"
Whitley regained his balance before flipping a bird claiming. "You...really...think this..puppet would let some smug ass with no respect for anyone but those in the Upper Class to order me around? SCREW....YOU!" The boy yelled spiting blood onto the man's ghoulish face to annoy the monster in human flesh.
"...WHY YOU LITTLE MAGGOT!" The man was even more enraged now, as he punched the stomach of the younger male causing the boy fall onto the cold floor.
Fiona was horrified as she witness the former spoiled prince rose back to his feet.
"Still standing boy?"
The youth was still standing to a point, until the man pulled a dirty shiv he found in the holding cell while waiting for this very moment. The two youths' eyes widden when they saw the makeshift weapon of sharpen hard plastic.
"...A weapon!?" Fiona cried out in dismay.
"Some poor sap must have made this sometime ago, makes me wonder where he could be now, anywho while I am slicing into your flesh, Whitley, I'm going tell what I thought of those pretty little ideas of yours."
The Faunus was in a state of fear for the young puppet CEO as the shiv user quickly sliced into the white haired youth's shoulder, with this the first time being cut, Whitley scream in pain.
"AHHHHGNN!"
"FIRST, YOU WANT TO FREE THE ANIMALS FROM OUR CAGES, THEY HAVE NO RIGHTS TO A FUTURE IN OUR SOCIETY!
The next was a stab on his left upper leg, luckly not hitting anything vitals as makeshift blade of sharp hard plastic was pulled out and blood dripped onto the flooring The boy's screams of pain echoing through the empty department.
"NEXT, WE CAN'T MAKE ANY LIEN IF BLEEDING HEARTS, LIKE WHAT YOU'VE BECOME, ARE IN CHARGE OF THINGS!"
The attacker then sliced the right side of Whitley's face leaving a scar under his eye.
"THE FACE OF THE BOY WITH A NAME THAT NOWS MEANS NOTHING TOTHE WORLD, USING TRUTHS TO PISS ON THE LEGACY THAT JACQUES BUILT, JUST SO HIS SON COULD REBUILD THE HONOR THAT IT HELD WHEN THAT WINDBAG WAS STILL KICKING! WHAT FREAKIN DRIVEL!"
then a slash across his chest.
"THAT BLEEDING HEART OF YOURS WANTING REDEMPTION SO HE COULD HAVE SOME ATTENTION BUT GUESS WHAT THERE'S NO SUCH THING IN THE BUSINESS WORLD OR IN THE REMAINING KINGDOMS OF REMNANT AS REDEMPTION!"
Then the right hand of the boy, the one Whitley pull in front of his body in an poor attempt to grabbed the makeshift Shiv.
"THESE HANDS OF A SOFT SPOILED LITTLE BOY WHO, EVEN IN THE LAST BATTLE AGAINST THE GRIMM FORCES, NEVER THREW A PUNCH OR SLAP ANYONE, ARE SUPPOSED TO CHANGE THE WORLD, ALL YOU HAVE DONE IN THAT BATTLE WERE ORDERING SOLDIERS TO FIGHT FOR YOU, SOLDIERS WHO SHOULD HAVE SEEN WHAT YOU'VE BECOME!"
Finishing this rant with a punch to the gut, and mocking his braverly. "TELL ME THIS, BOY? WHEN THIS SPINE OF YOURS GREW, DID YOUR STUPIDITY DOUBLED, BECAUSE COMPARED TO YOUR DAD, YOU'RE SUCH AN DOLT TO BELIEVE YOUR OWN CRAP!"
"WHITLEY! STOP, YOU'RE KILLING HIM!" Fiona screamed as the man got on top of the boy's body and punch the white haired youth's face twice before the monster yelled at the girl.
"I SAID SHUT IT SHEEP! YOU MAYBE A WAR HERO THAT I CAN'T PUT MY HANDS ON BUT YOU'RE GOING TO WATCH AS THE HOPES OF THIS BOY DIES ALONG WITH HIS BODY!"
Getting off of the beaten body of the Schnee, the man let Whitley try to get up before the boy fell on his stomach and the man grabbed the white hairs of his his head and pulled his face up, so the redeemer would look into Fiona's green eyes for a last time, one filled with tears.
"ACTUALLY, IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE OF HER STATUS AS A WAR HERO, THE SHEEP WILL GET OUT IN THE END OF THE DAY AND BE ON HER WAY HOME, BUT YOU JUST HAD TO PLAY HERO AND FOR WHAT, WHITLEY SCHNEE?! FOR YOUR REMAINS TO BE MY PUNCHING BAG UNTIL I TRANSFER TO PRISON?....IT'S SO FREAKING SAD THAT I'M LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!"
The redeemer, who's face full of buises, forgotten that this is the case for minor first time offenders but didn't care at all. Ever since Fiona saved his and his mother's lives that day, he would've happily be arrested and be beaten, time after time, so he could thank her. He wanted to smile, to show his savior that he was happy with this outcome, even this meant that his life ended today, but could barely move his face but the only could wheezingly chuckled as tears as swell from his eyes
Before the man could finished Whitley off, a small blackout happened as the doors of the cells opened, Fiona ran to the boy who risked his life just so he could to talk to her. "WHY?!" Fiona cried she held the youth in her arms. "WHY CAN'T MONSTERS LIKE YOU SEE THAT THIS A NEW WORLD, THAT WE CAN BECOME BETTER THAN WE ONCE WERE." The green eyed girl demanded anwers but the man just mocked to anwered the Fuanus.
"Do you think animals like you could understand that only the strong and the Upper Cass are the only ones who have the right to control Remnant. He could have been one of those in control and still have enough Lien to be someone important but he chose to ally with the lower class, and for little lamb he paying for it, dearly."
Putting the boy's head gently on the floor wiping the tears on her sleeve, to hopefully keep friend she made safe for a bit longer, she attempted to use Pocket Demisions to rid the world of this demon, only to realize in the middle of her attack, the power returned and because she ran to help the youth, that she was in the men's holding cell with the real beast.
"....No!" She wimpered.
"Looks like there's some of my fellow board members of Phoenix Ash are still on my side." He smiled wickening as he began to explain their plans. "You see, little Sheep, we figured the boy has a bleeding heart, so to get rid of those childish wishes to loosen our hold, we decided yesterday to make up a plan, the one that you had to prevent. So during that little speech of his, we made a second one on the fly." He continued as he put his hand on an earpiece. "...That one being the threats to distract the guards and that little blackout. Plus thanks to this little device, my semblance to increase my strength with every attack I give, still remains."
"This can't be...." She was scared, as this man that she could taken down a few mere hours ago, was telling the truth when every step he made while approaching Fiona made small cracks in the flooring.
"Damn it, We going need to cause another..." A voice explained though the earpiece before he turned off the equipment's sound option.
"Now, since you annoyed me so much, you're going be my replacement, lamb chops!" The upsuper yelled in bliss as he pulled his fist to punch her small body. She dodged the attack but his second punch connected and sent her flying into the force field door.
"AUHHGGG!" She cried out, recoiling in the pain from her back before noticing the man was coming for her, managing to get up but unable to dodge it completely in this cramped arena. She felt the punch connected with her left arm, braking the bones in the limb, Then a kick to her gut. Knocking her a few inches near Whitley's body.
"....No...."
The youngest of the Schnee clan could only watch in despair through one eye, the two were being broken by a scummy excuse of a human, and the young redeemer of his name could do nothing but watched as his attempt to prove to the world his words were real go down in flames.
"...Leave...her...alone..." These words spit out ignoring the pain as much as he could while rising back to his feet and limping to get in between the Faunus woman and her attacker.
"So, the boy still has some fighting spirit...The boy that has never fought for anything in his life, I am certain that you're doing this for everyone's attention."
The man was right on a few things, Whitley was never a fighter or some ground troop, and it may have been that he wanted attention when he first started to go down this road but Winter quickly knocked that idea out of his head, but the man is wrong on others, for Whitley realize that all he wanted to do in life is to help in anyway, even he'll be happy as a sideliner act to the main heroes.
But one can't always stay in that role and hoped to change the world, for a long time he stood by as a witness to to his father's crimes, for longer his thoughts of heroism being dismissed by that bogus excuse of a father and as far as he remembered, Whitley had others fight for him. But no more!
"In this world, money and power pull the strings, and yet you choose death for a flithy animal? How more times are you going to PISS M-!" The man was interrupted while talking by, to the surprise of all, the white haired boy headbutting his taller foe, knocking the man onto his ass!
"...WHAT!?" The man screamed in horror as he started to bleed from his now broken nose, this was the first time the business man has ever seen his own blood.
"...I've...told...the world...I...would die for my dream....even if I die today....I'll be happy to die...hundred times over again..." The boy's body was mostly broken, each word he spoke caused more pain than his body could stand but the young man still had one part of his body to fight with, his hard head!
The next thing they all knew, Whitley continued headbutting his enemy, causing the man to gain a reality check, his ability were increasing his attacks but at a certain cost, The sole major weak point on his body, the one that held the brain to think of ways to screwed others over, the one with the eyes that saw everyone else as beneath him and the one with the mouth with a booming voice he used to make threats and promises to ruin his foes, his face weaken over time with every punch or kick he gave to the two.
"NONONONONO!" The man screamed with a bloodied and bruised face, before feeling the same despair he installed into his two victims just mere minutes ago. In a desperate attempt to stop these attacks, he grabbed the man in the cloak as a hostage, with the shiv he used on the boy still in his possession.
"You-ou wouldn't w-wan...me to stab some r-random person that had nuthing to do with this, uh?!" These ragged words were like the man himself, desperate and scummy, but was enough to stop the boy from getting closer.
The foe laughed thinking he has the upper hand. "I admired your old man's talent in making a profit, but he was just like you to a certain point, he was no killer, so now I advise we wait until they let us out or I'll be plunging..."
"Tsk...This old fart really been pissing me off since we got here!"
The cloaked man yelled as he stepped on the foot of his captor along with a gunshot ringing though the air. "W-WHAT!?" The man screamed in pain as he released his hold to grabbed his now bleeding foot. "DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!" The larger man screamed before realizing why his leg strength wasn't up to snuff. While being headbutted by his Whitley, the earpiece fell out and was behind his two victims!
"No way this is happening...." He groaned in pain before the cloaked male took off his hood, just to make things worse for the would be assassin.
"...and here I thought I would have a peaceful life in prison..." The man sighed as he revealed himself to be a fomer ally of Salem, one who wanted nothing more but to rot in prisons for the remaining of his life.
"M-Mercury B-B-Black, why is a war criminal here?!" The man screamed, fearing for his life even more than before.
"I was supposed to transfer into the next city, mostly for some good behavior BS..." Mercury turned his attention to the white haired boy.
"Hey kid, you're the brother to that girl Weiss, right?"
"....." Whitley wanted to say something but really couldn't, with those last few headbutts, if he tried to speak now, he will surely faint.
"Man, the geezer really did a number on you, huh?" Mercury asked before = one of the guards and Whitley's sisters ran in.
"Holy...CRAP! WHITLEY!!"
"Why is our brother and Miss Thyme in the same cell as these two?!" Winter demanded answers before Mercury explained for panicing guard while pulling the earpiece from the ground.
"Whitley was being used by lord lard ass as a punching bag until few people from Pheonix Ash caused a short blackout, the girl ran in to stopped the beatings but was attacked as well until your little bro figuring out the buzzard's weakness by headbutting the man in his freakin' face. After that, The creep tried to use me as levelage but yeah, you can see how that worked out."
"DAMNED BRATS...." The man groaned as the two Schnee women got Whitley and Fiona out of this cell but froze in fear when he saw Winter staring down at the man.
"I figured that your group would pulled something like this when Whitley told me of the CEO position, so I looked into yours and the rest of the board's backgrounds...It was just as Black said, You and your three friends in the board of eight have more than just attempted assassination to worry about now."
This decree was worrying enough before Mercury Black turned his attention back to the older man."I guess I'm going to have a kicking dummy for a roommate now!"
"Please have mercy!" The man turned deathly pale before Fiona yelled.
"Like the mercy you shown to me and Whitley because he called out your sorry butt, I would think not!"
Weiss was next to insult the man for his behavior. "...If anything you deserve nothing but a fate in a cage, like the various futures you took away!"
"Looks like you're going to rot in a cell for the rest of your sad existence." Winter finished before the guards were told by the military commander to take her younger brother out of the room and to take his would be assassin to the other cell.
Before leaving, Winter asked the former ally of Salem.
"Mercury Black...Your sentence for your war crimes have been over with for a couple of months now, yet, you still choose to remain in prison, may I ask why?"
"Since Cinder died in the fight against our former partner and Salem's redemption attempt, I really don't have much else left. Besides it's like I've said during that battle with the hammerhead and her pretty boy lover, I have been forced to fight since I was born by a drunk abusive excuse of a dad, so even if I could be let back into society, I don't think I could be happy."
"You could've joined the military..." The eldest member of the Schnee replied before the younger male countered
"Yeah, but I hate following and giving orders, besides you've seen what this old bastard done to your brother, creeps like him and worse are everywhere in prison. So as long as I can beat them senseless, I'm freaking happy to serve more time for each brawl I get my ass into."
This silenced Winter for a couple of seconds before asking for two simple demands. "Just tell Em that I'm okay with how things ended between us, and tell her just to be happy with her new life, if she can do that, then that would give me some sort of peace."
A couple of hours later at the medical bay on the airship.
Kairi used the healing spell Curaga on both the boy and Fiona. "Thank you, Lady Kairi." Fiona bowed while still having her arm in a cast after Whitley opened his eyes, being healed.
"Hey, it's not a problem, but please, just call me Kairi for now on, okay, Fiona?"
"Ughh, what...Fiona..are you alright?" The redeemer asked his friend.
"Yes, but you took the blunt of the beating, please relax, Whitley." The Fanuas explained before the boy asked.
"Who payed for our bails? I doubt it was my sisters, our situation isn't as it once was."
At that moment, Weiss and Blake came in, the disowned heiress of the destroyed SDC was proud at the fact that her former enemy of a brother fought for what's right, explaining. "It those three you poined out from that charity that payed for your and Fiona's bonds."
"Huh?!" Fiona was taken back in surprise by this before the middle child of the Schnee family theorized
"My guess is, either your speech or being outed as horrible people that made those three pay with their own Lien to post bond. I only wished we got there quicker but the airport was on the other side of the city."
"That's good but I can only hope that the others in the crowd took my words to heart and none of the people recording that day alter the video."
...We can check for video or audio interferances later on today but something tells me those who heard your speech that they're going be thinking about it for a long time." Blake's words made the youngest member of the Schnee children a little more eased.
"If only mother lived to see her son became someone to be proud of." Weiss thought to herself that day before their last mission in Remnant before her universe was wiped from existence.
In the Hangar of the doomed Wunder, Weiss had a thought of what could've been the futures of the new CEO of Pheonix Ash and his loyal bodyguard could have been if their universe just lasted a little bit longer.
"Hey, Bozos I'm about to take the Eva-unit 02 F off of the ship, before figuring out a plan to stop Misato."
"Alright.." Aqua answered as the red-head walked towards the console before seeing something strange.
"You guys were here for the last hour right?"
"Yeah?" Duo answered before Asuka added.
"And no one else came in or tried anything funny right?"
"We've been here the entire time, what's with the questions, Langley?" Viral countered.
"...There's two signals of heat in the cockpit...."
"Umm what?" Jaune exclaimed as the console showing the statistics of the bulky armored version of Unit 02, showing two bodies of heat in the entry plug.
Before anything else was said in the group. A young male's voice came through the console. "Umm Hello? Can someone get us out of this thing?"
No one but the Schnee huntress recognize the youth's voice. "Whitley!?"
"Sis, can you hear me?"
Asuka spoke next, "How long were you two in the Evangelion for?"
"I think for three hours, oh right, Fi wanted to asked if there's any males in the area."
"Fiona's in there too?!" Wiess inner thoughts were of panic that were made worse after Jaune's answer.
"Yeah, there's four guys here, why?" Jaunne asked before Fiona screamed in embrassament.
"PLEASE GO TO THE OTHER ROOM OR SOMETHING, I CAN'T GO OUT LIKE THIS!"
"Fi, please relax..."
"RELAX!? YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE IN THIS THING WITH CLOTHES ON!" The girl whined while crying from embarrassment.
"Umm, could anyone bring clothing for Miss Thyme."
Duo began to smirked before being dragged by Viral into the next room. "Keep your dirty thoughts to yourself, Duo Maxwell..."
"Killjoy!" Duo screamed as Jonathan conviced Jaune to followed.
"Sir Arc, we should leave as well, as it is knights' honor to..."
"Already way ahead of you, Mr. Joestar. We'll see you all later when we come up with that plan!"
As this was all happening, an snore echoed out from behind the crates. "Is someone sleeping over there?" Aqua asked while checking to see who it might be.
There, Chibodee Crocket, of all people was in deep slumber, much to everyone's surprise.
"...We should wake him up..." Asuka sighed while Weiss went looking for any of the female members of the crew for some clothing.
But to the surprise of the two, he just walked into the next room while sleeping the entire time. "That...worked out way to well..."

This may seem like a fake post but I assure you it isn’t. When we first got together we were a long distance couple and would see each other every other weekend. When we’d be together we would have sex everyday and many times in the middle of the night. She dressed well, was a lot of fun to be with, had a good degree, and had ambition and drive for her career. She was already a mother when I met her and seemed to be really confident about her body and I thought that was incredibly sexy. Fast forward to us getting married relatively quickly and things starting to change from the honeymoon phase ending.
One of the issues is she farts…A LOT. Thank god they hardly ever stink, but I’m constantly hearing farts all day everyday. These aren’t the little quiet farts either; these are manly farts. We’ve been married for over 5 years now and my patience for her persistent flatulence has basically run dry. She knows it annoys me how much she farts and if I express any kind of reaction, she gets really pissy and says something like, “what!? I can’t help that I’m gassy!” If we attend a party or other social event, she’ll hold her farts in the whole time and then release them throughout the remainder of the night after we leave. Those farts are the worst because they’re so loud and strong sounding followed by the sound of her exhaling. It’s just so gross to me now and I don’t know what else to do about it. I’ve gone so far to ask her to not fart for about 20 minutes leading to us being intimate and she thought that was ludicrous but begrudgingly agreed to it.
Another issue I have is that her fashion sense is horrible. When we first got together she had some nice outfits and shoes that she would wear. Now she dresses like a grandma and it embarrasses me. We can afford nice clothes for her to wear, she just hates shopping so she’ll wear clothes until they have too many noticeable holes in them. One example of her outfits is this sweatpants and sweater outfit she bought together. They have this horrendous lace on the top of the arms and down the sides of the pants. I asked her if those were a set of pajamas and she insists they aren’t. She’s calmed down on wearing them because I always say something about how much they look like pajamas and I think she’s more tired of hearing me say that than she is acknowledging that it’s a goofy outfit. One last item of clothing is this shirt that she loves wearing. It’s one of those cheap licensed shirts that people can buy at Walmart and it’s supposed to look a bit faded but with the large fit and general sloppy look, the shirt looks very dumb. I’ve even told her that tighter shirts look better on her frame so this favorite shirt should become a shirt she only wears at home. One time we were going out as a family and she tried wearing that shirt. I gently asked if she could pick another shirt to wear that day and she was annoyed and a little offended by that.
Lastly, her hygiene is starting to really bother me. I know a lot of women only wash their hair every other day, but she only takes showers every other day. Many times she’ll go 3 days without a shower. As you can imagine, there are some funky smells that start to occur after going that long without bathing, especially when you’re churning out farts every 20 minutes. There was a period of time that I was only getting sex on day 2 of her not showering. I couldn’t take it anymore and tried to gently tell her that I enjoy sex a lot more when her body is clean. I don’t even need her to shower before sex, I just want her to shower at some point that day. She was offended and now occasionally gives me shit like, “don’t worry. I showered today in case you were worried”. Like, yeah I was a bit because I’m tired of smelling straight ass when were doing doggy style. There have been times that she’s put an item of clothing on and it smells musty. When I tell her it smells bad, she’s just annoyed she has to change out of that item. It’s almost like she’d rather walk around smelling like a wet dog than change her pants or shirt.
My wife is a great mom and really does that well. She’s always thinking of the kids and tries to give them her best. I love my wife too, but these issues are becoming more and more bothersome for me and I don’t know what to do. A lot of the things I used to find her sexy for have gone away. I try my best to encourage her and build her up by telling her she looks cute when she does or compliment her smell when she smells nice, but that doesn’t seem to incentivize her. I feel like I’m not asking for much. I would hope that if I walked around with a big stain on my shirt or looked like I just woke up on a park bench that she would be bothered by that and want to say something to me. I just want a partner that halfway cares about the way they present themselves. As for the farts, I have no idea what to do for that.

Oh how sad I am. I've been planning this escape for years. And now that I'm finally here, with one more night on my... not-really-a-bed, just a... mat-on-the-floor with blanket and pillows...
I sob. Sob and cry and wonder why I feel all this pain. I'm the one who wanted to escape. To live my life to the fullest. To do all the things I love. To draw and sing, to wear my hair down and bake, to make friends and wear cute dresses, to have cats and be with the man I love and oh gosh how lucky I am that he loves me dearly and wants the best for me. He and his mum supported me so so much. My friend too. They are my chosen family.
But... why am I feeling so horribly sad...? Its because I'll never see my parents or siblings again. I feel so bad for my mum because she allows people to use her and by that I mean she does everything for my grown ass siblings. And my extended family all use her a lot too.
About my mum.
Sadly, shes religious. Prays constantly. Always telling us to pray. Donates money to needy. Forced me to pay zakkah. Buys counters to constantly recite, it's like digital tasbeehs and stuff to use wherever without looking or counting. You just press and then you get your number on a screen. She takes care of her mum sometimes. Often cooks for her. She often watches her sisters kids because her sister, my aunt... is ever so social and kinda just expects my mum to baby sit them. My mum cooks almost every day. Usually every other day because my dad refuses to eat old food. And when I say cook I dont mean something easy like whip up a pasta. I mean dishes that take at least more than 2 hours to cook. Mind you though, hes a chef and does cook sometimes in the house. But since he works he expects mum to cook and honestly if I were a man, I'd want that too. To come home from work to good food. Anyway...
I have siblings. One of which is a piece of good for nothing shit. Uses and abuses mum psychologically. For real. It's so sad. And mum enables this shit because she believes it's not actually my siblings behaviour. It's apparently a ghost. My other siblings are not of legal age yet. I will miss them terribly. They... will have to grow up a lot. Mum does a lot for them. Cooking. Cleaning. Honestly, I dont cook because mum does it. Nor clean. I avoided being with mum and basically without realising it, did that rock technique with her. Where I basically diffuse the conversation and stuff because I hate talking about Islam and just avoid being around her and stuff. I forgot what the technique is actually called.
I love her. Even if I'm sure her love for me is conditional. I wish to keep contact with her. But I worry about her health. Diabetes and general pressure issues. If she dies, my dad wont be able to take care of my siblings. My dad will cook for them and teach them how to travel to school and stuff. But besides that, he wont know about their medical conditions or history, he cant speak much English just some. He is smart but also not really? It's weird.
Mg siblings and mum is who I worry for most. The two siblings who arent over 18 yet. I dont care for the other one because they ruined my life and became such a horrible person. I get some of it is mental health issues so they need help but I'm speaking very specifically of their character before all this began.
Anyway. I escape tomorrow. Today is technically my last day ever with my family. I do love them. I wish to text or call them from time to time but I do think a period of no contact may be necessary for both them and myself to kind of... let this choice I made sink in. I've bought games for my younger siblings where we can chat and hopefully they keep this private. I do believe that they may understand me when they reach a certain age and be more accepting than my parents.
In my letter, I'm not sure if I should say I left because I wanted to live my life or because "God guided me" and play that card. I'm semi atheist. Sometimes I believe in God and other times I dont. Right now km not really sure what I am so I say semi atheist. I will cry and cry and cry after I've made it to my partner. He and his mum will hold me close and tell me I'm safe and loved and deserve to choose the life I want. I have support. We are gonna do so many things together that we couldn't before!
I'm an artist. In so many ways. I had to hide my art with my family. With my partner, he wanted them all displayed. For Christmas, I drew portraits, more like fantasy portraits of him and his mum and his cat. They still have it displayed in their house. It warms my heart. I draw, sew, sculpt with clay, paint sometimes, do traditional pencils drawings with colour and without, digital art, pixel art for working on my game, make plushies and I plan to sew my own dresses, I like styling my hair although my hair is pretty damaged sadly, no not with heat products, more of just unhealthy hair. What else...? I just love making things with paper like water fall cards and spinning cards and pop up books. When I confessed to my partner, at the time he couldn't be with me because he wanted to make sure he was ready, I made him a well designed pop up book. It had stuff we liked, camping, gaming, sleeping, loads of pop up and sliding elements. Then on our 1st anniversary, I made him an explosion box. He was absolutely in shock as he opened it over Skype. I plan to make an even better gift for next time. For Christmas he attempted something similar, he is very creative too. He made me a book of himself. Like a little toy for my to hold around with funny comments and his cat kinda touring me through his weak knee joints Haha and his heart which loves me 100% and his little nose which if I boop, doesnt do anything, nor the the little mole he has on his face. All these drawings and details, I love it so much.
Why did I write all that... I'm trying to cope right now. I want encouragement. I'm scared. But I know I have to do this. I dont want to cry or be sad. I wanna be happy because I have this opportunity to run away move out and be free. I've saved and saved enough for at least a few years. But I'll be getting a job in the new country after I learn the language officially. By going to school to learn the language I'll keep myself occupied and busy. At my partners house we will be playing games ans cuddling and making Lego stuff and drawing and going for walks and watching films so I know I'll be happy.
I just also know I'll wonder how my family are and worry those thoughts will eat into my happy time. I dont know how to go about this.
Please... I wanna move out on happy terms. I deserve to live. To think 7 years ago I was going to take my life because I prayed constantly to God and he didnt seem to reply to it... and then I became an ex Muslim and found a new friend and then a another one of which who became my partner... I never would have believed if someone told me, hey in some years you'll move away from your family have a loving boyfriend and be free from religion. I'd have slapped them maybe and said shut up you liar. Get lost.
But here I am. I didnt take my life. I won. And I'm gonna win again tomorrow when I take that plane. I'm just sad about missing my family. Even if they were unpleasant at times. I still love them.
But I deserve to live my own life. I can do this. One more night on my not so very comfy floor bed.
Paper Blackstar
I will never post from this account again. For updates on my situation, possibly a tutorial of how I escape, please see my other account, The Paper Blackstar. It has one post saying that it's me, and in the comments a mod confirmed.