Hi Reddit, I'm new, and my best friend uses Reddit so I hope they don't come to this sub. I only know about it because I listen to RSlash.
I (NB 25) love my best friend (NB 29) in a "more than friends" way.
I'll be honest, I'm terrible when it comes to relationships. I get clingy, lose myself in the relationship, always feel the need to "prove" my love; essentially I am an easy target for bad people. Because of this I haven't been in a relationship for 6 years, it helps that I'm asexual (sex repulsed), but I still have the desire for romantic love.
Me and my friend met online about 2 years ago and we instantly clicked. At the time I was still weary about getting into a relationship, as I wasn't confident that I wouldn't slip into those unhealthy habits. Funny enough, that was also around the time my therapist cancelled my therapy appointment without telling me and ghosted me. I'm guessing I didn't appear mentally ill enough? I don't know. And no she was fine, she just went on a vacation.
Anyways, me and my friend talked a lot, and clearly our talks were more than platonic. But hey maybe I'm wrong and it's normal for people to call their best friends by pet names, say I love you over and over again, and send love letters in the mail about how much you love them and want them in your life. They used to be so loving, and I felt so secure in what we were.
Then Christmas happened, and it hasn't been the same since. They got asked out on a date by a work colleague and accepted it, which shattered my heart. I told them that if they pursued the relationship, that I wouldn't feel comfortable being as loving as we were and that we would have to talk as regular friends do. I asked them what we were and if they loved me the way I love them. It hurt when they said that they weren't sure.
They cancelled the date with the other person, but I don't think I've recovered from that day. Even though from it we decided that we would plan on living together once we were at stable places in our careers (we were both having issues with our jobs).
One time I got super drunk with their friend, and the friend said my best friend loved me and wanted to kiss me but just would never admit it, which felt good to hear. I've heard from their friends that they know they love me and that I've been a force of good in their life, one asked me to please stay because I make them happy. Essentially all their friends have been saying that my friend loves me but just doesn't know it.
Meanwhile my friends, who aren't online all that much so haven't seen how me and my friend interact, have been wanting to set me up. One was trying to set up a double date between her bf, and then me and her friend. When I told my friend about it, they were obviously hurt and got quiet for the night, being sheepish to tell me that I should do what I want to do.
I didn't want to, I still wanted to be with my friend, even though we weren't "together" together. That was a few months, and the last time it's happened.
So why am I here? Shouldn't it be obvious that we have feelings for each other?
These past few months they've slowly been showing their affection less and it's been bothering me.
They get off work and I ask them how their day went, and they'll say they're tired and going to bed, then do exactly that. They won't ask about my day, and that will be our only interaction for the day. At one point this was happening every single day.
They no longer say all those kind words that made me fall for them in the beginning, about how I make their life worth living. They've stopped calling me all those pet names that made me feel special, they rarely even say "I love you" first.
I spoke with them, about how I miss these pet names, that I miss being told that I matter to them. I tell them that these are my love language and that I don't feel loved, and all they say is that they're sorry and they don't know how to make me feel loved. I JUST TOLD YOU HOW!
They used to plan on coming to visit me once they get the money, but when they do get the money they visit family instead. I understand that family comes first, but it still hurts to know that they basically lied to me.
I'm reaching my breaking point, I'm tired of playing this game of "will we, won't we". But at the same time I'm afraid that I might be over reacting, and I don't want to leave them alone if they do really want something. Plus it's really hard finding a partner when you're sex repulsed.
So should I just move on? I haven't told them that I'm ready to break off what little we have, but other than that I have been VERY up front with my emotions as I have them.
TL;DR: I'm anxious and tired after playing around with someone with commitment issues after 2 years.

I'm sharing here because I feel the listener base to this podcast might have some good points for me. Y'all have been helpful before. TYIA.
Some context: My daughter (mtf16) has been out to the family for around 2 1/2 years now (I've known something was different about her since she was a toddler). My husband and son (18) don't accept her. I'm also in a very red town in a very red state that is very anti-trans (so bad that an online mob doxxed a trans girl nearby a few months ago and threatened her, her family, and her place of employment with bomb and death threats). This is on top of teachers deliberately misgendering and dead-naming because they don't have to respect trans students. She doesn't really get outright bullied, but snide slurs and comments are made randomly a few times a week. She dresses neutral, so as not to draw attention, she sticks with her small group of friends, and generally keeps her head down because being herself at school, home, anywhere, just gets met with hate and disgust.
She's in therapy, but there's only so much that can be done as long as she keeps being forced to hide herself. There are no rights or protections for her, and I see this weighing heavily on her. She has lost interest in most things she used to love, rarely smiles anymore, and just doesn't care about passing school or even brushing her teeth. She's on the max dose of meds for severe depression.
My husband's solution is to ignore it. Our "son" has a mental illness is all. God made us with penises and vaginas for a reason, and if we ignore it, maybe it will go away.
I've tried giving him the science behind being trans. I've tried to give him multiple resources-scientific, religious, anecdotal (this is an experience as a trans child stuff)- but he refuses to look at any of it and claims the Bible is all he needs. We've even been to couple's therapy.
To keep from going into more detail, I'll just say that I realized some months ago what I needed to do: I was going to have to leave the state with my child. She won't make it to adulthood if I don't.
Now to my son (18). He graduates from high school this week. He was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder around 10/11 years old. His major difficulty is disseminating information. If something requires multiple steps, he can't remember or take in all the steps at one time. He also has some other typical signs of ASD like anxiety, especially when he's doing something new or has a change in routine.
And he doesn't accept that his sibling is trans either. Just like his father, he repeats the religious talking points. We have a good relationship otherwise. But if I try to provide information on any subject he disagrees with, he just dismisses it with religious or political talking points that he's heard from others, mainly his dad and older half-brother. He's been dismissive and disrespectful of me as well. I didn't realize until recently that it is the same way my husband treats me. It's the passing down of the fucking patriarchy. My husband didn't have much of a hand in raising him through the hard stuff (discipline, for one; his dad never disciplined and wouldn't back me up, and instead would treat me as if my discipline of my child was a sibling rivalry). But apparently just seeing our relationship in motion convinced my son that's how things should be.
I feel like I failed my son. I've tried to tell him that his attitude and outlook will hurt his future relationships (they have already had an effect on some recent ladies he's dated). And I don't think he gets that his attitude about trans people will (and probably already has) put a rift between him and his sister. I know they love each other and despite his misgendering, they laugh together and still game together. But when my daughter decides she doesn't want to put up with the disrespect anymore, that will put an end to any reconciliation.
At this point, with his attitude, taking him with us isn't an option. My daughter needs to feel open and safe in order to flourish and reach her full potential. I want to see her love life again, and that can't include anyone in the household who invalidates her existence.
When I go, I know my husband will likely bad-mouth me. I know can't control what my son thinks and feels, and he will probably be hurt that he can't go with us and/or that I won't be close by. I apparently am not very good at persuasion and need some help with how to word that I'm leaving to save his sister's life. I want him to know that I love him and will talk with him anytime, but I feel like he should get a footing in the world without me for a while. At the same time, he'll be hearing the anti-trans, ultra-conservative crap from his dad and brother. I don't want to lose him. My heart has already been through hell.
What do I need to say to him to show him that if there is a God, God doesn't give two fiddly fucks about genitals and that just because he doesn't understand something, doesn't mean he can't be respectful and supportive. How do I tell him that I'm not "leaving him," I'm leaving to save my daughter's life? I want him to understand the gravity of the situation, and that dysphoria is not a "mental illness." It relays who a trans person really is. I'm at a loss because not only is my 20-year marriage ending from a man I realized I never really knew, but that I also have to leave my home, career, family, and even my dog. It's hurting me worse though that I have to leave my son behind. Yes , he's technically an adult, but he still needs help navigating his new post-high school world. We've never spent more than a few days apart since he was born.
I'm decent at writing, but suck at verbal articulation. Help me please.
TLDR: Sorry, can't make this shorter without all the info and context. Scroll on if you're a bigot or not interested. Thanks. ✌️

After moving out from an indian area with an indian company as a landlord, 3 months later with absolutely no contact and nothing about my deposit their lawyers send a letter asking for unpaid rent (a weird amount) threatening legal action if unpaid within 7 days.
While i can prove without doubt i paid off all utilities and rent, there was absolutely nothing from the landlord till a legal letter suddenly arrived. They used a courier where you have to accept/deny the letter. Their lawyer claims they have repeatedly contacted me and asked me to pay which has never happened. The letter does not even come with details about the said payment they ask as they just said rent rather than the exact rent missed (even though i paid all the rent).
How should i proceed with this? should i take legal action against them instead? Though i dont have access to a lawyer for this at the moment and my job is very very busy. Should i counter them in court with evidence and instead request they pay my company rate for wasting time when i should be helping some crucial clients and team instead?

As If It Were Kismet: Prologue
Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”

I wrote mini reviews of each arc here, but because there are so damn many arcs, this ended up being a wall of text, despite me trying to keep them short. Feel free to skim or read only what interests you!
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The episodic nature of Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla means that its narrative is split into chunks. These chunks take place across the many shires of medieval England and vary in terms of length, depth and, well, pointlessness. I thought ranking them would be a fun exercise — a competition of story arcs, all vying for best Viking mini-narrative.
It goes without saying, but I’m about to spoil the whole damn game, so read at your own risk.
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21. Wincestre
Wincestre is just another Lunden or Jorvik, accept with more Jesus, more King Aelfred and way less… anything worthwhile. This one was just a total nothing-burger of an experience. The fact that it comes so late in the narrative really hurts it, too, because by now you’ve experienced arcs that are a similar traditional Assassin’s Creed city-style that at least aren’t this bad. Aelfred’s turning on Eivor at the end also didn’t feel coherent, convincing or warranted to me. Big miss.
20. Lunden
The smaller, denser cities with multiple targets to track down and ‘social stealth’ options are certainly here to attempt to replicate the traditional AC experience, but Lunden fails to do so meaningfully, and even gets a huge points deduction for being misleading.
The arc is set up to feature twists with Stowe and Ercke (is one a traitor? Will your romancing of Stowe make things complicated?), but after their initial scenes they’re mitigated to what I would hardly even call side characters as Eivor unveils three randos as Order members, kills them and then leaves town. At least there was a cool boss sequence on the river?
19. Snotinghamscire
This arc sees you reunite with Hemmingr Jarl, his son Villi and his compatriot, Trygve. Eivor has an existing relationship with these characters, but the player doesn’t. As a result, nothing that happens with them lands meaningfully.
After Hemmingr passes, this arc boils down to running dull errands to prepare for the burial ceremony. Eivor chooses whether Villi or Trygve will succeed Hemmingr in the end, but the decision is very clear-cut and suggested to the player, lacking the nuance of the game’s other difficult decisions. This arc isn’t memorable, doesn’t concern the main quest, and feels like fluffy filler in the worst way.
18. Jorvik
Another version of the Lunden & Wincestre arcs, Jorvik is stronger than its competitors for presenting the Order members to your face before you deduce who they are. There was nothing shocking about their reveals, but each provided an interesting set piece to navigate during assassinations.
Problematically, the arc sets itself up for Eivor to accuse a traitor, only for her decision to not matter at all. You never get to act on your accusation at Yuletide — the Order member interrupts and attacks the feast no matter who you accuse.
17. Cent
The Cent arc sees Eivor team with Basim to track Fulke. It feels important and part of the main story, but it’s all for naught in the end — you come face-to-face with Fulke in what seems like a meaningful story moment, only for her to run away. Your reward is finding out Sigurd had his arm cut off.
This arc earns some points for getting Fulke screen time and tiptoeing the tightrope of Eivor and Basim’s rocky relationship believably, but certainly can’t be called good. This is because once you pull back the veil, you realize you never advanced the plot and were running in circles for nothing the entire time. At least the other “filler” arcs were forthright about their (lack of) connection to the main story.
16. Jotunheim
This arc has a compelling story to it — Odin running from his fate and bending over backwards to flee from it is interesting, his broken relationship with Loki should be a strong point for the arc, and his moral gray areas (sleeping with a Jotunn, betraying Tyr) certainly make for a complex character’s development.
It has the ingredients of a strong arc, but I just couldn’t shake the why am I doing this feeling I had the entire time. Everything in between Odin’s big moments is a fetch quest and I just felt like I was wasting my life.
This one is weird because on paper it feels like there’s a lot of substance here, but ultimately, I felt nothing while playing it besides contempt for having drank the potion in Ravensthorpe again.
15. Lincolnscire
Heir to the throne Hunwald is exiled from Lincoln and reaches out to Ravensthorpe for help. Eivor tracks down his sickly and dying father and then must cast the deciding vote for whom the new Ealdorman will be after his death.
The game wastes your time with one of Hunwald’s competitors, Aelfgar, (who is a dork) and paints the bishop as evil pretty clearly (he turns out to be an Order member). I suppose this arc could hit hard for someone who accidently put an Order member in charge. For that and for Hunwald at least having a strong drive and personality, this arc earns some marks.
14. Essex
Eivor is brought in to repair a marriage by separating husband and wife naturally without a public divorce. She reunites Ealdorman Birstan with his former lover and sets up a fake public kidnapping to whisk away his wife, Estrid.
I think many would rate this arc far lower than I have here because it is pure side mission nonsense — but for me, this arc stands strong on the backs of convincing and fun characters in Birstan and Estrid, as well as the tangled web of relationships between the two of them, Birstan’s son, and Rollo, Estrid’s former lover.
13. Ledecestrescire
Ledecestre sees the intros of Ivarr, Ubba and Ceowulf. You team up with the sons of Ragnar to help put Ceowulf’s father on the throne in Mercia.
Ledecestrescire earns points for strong, realized characters in the Ragnarsons and Ceowulf, a believable conflict with the Mercian king, as well as the arc’s biggest moment with killing or sparing Leofrith in Tamworth.
12. Asgard
Asgard looks pretty and hits hard when you first arrive. I appreciate Ubi for creating places like Atlantis and Asgard to run around and explore in.
Unfortunately, both felt supremely empty. However, watching Odin fight tooth and nail to run from his fate was satisfying and Loki is aptly deceptive and frustrating. The Builder gave the arc a nice wrinkle, too and climaxed with a nice boss fight.
I spent too much time tracking down tears, but I think if you look at just the main missions here, this is a solid experience in an incredible environment.
11. East Anglia
In this arc, Eivor works alongside Oswald to fend off violent Dane aggressors and claim his leadership role.
Oswald is honorable and likeable — watching him teach the Danes in his court that bravery can reveal itself in more nuanced ways rather than physically was powerful, and giving Eivor the decision to allow Oswald to fight his own battles or fight for him solidified the feeling of fathering Oswald through this arc into manhood and leadership.
I bought into this arc because I felt the story was touching and meaningful and the cast was strong.
10. Vinland
Nothing really happens here aside from hunting down Gorm Kjotveson, but the arc earns major points for how refreshing it is.
I played it late in the story when I was feeling quite a bit of fatigue towards the game and everything about Vinland just landed for me, giving me new energy to actually enjoy what I was doing.
The new landscape is insanely gorgeous and fun to navigate. The stripping down of Eivor’s equipment essentially forces you to start from scratch — but it really makes the four stealth encounters stronger; you have to approach them differently due to being unarmed and unarmored.
The whole thing was a little bit of a reset button for the entire experience of Valhalla and it sorely needed it.
9. Suthsexe
Suthsexe is the meeting with Guthrum and the rising action leading up to defeating Fulke.
The arc is fun, feels impactful as well as meaningful and sees you reunite with all the old friends you’ve made up to this point. Fighting alongside Soma and others was a big positive for me. Storming Fulke’s fort at least included some different mechanics than many forts up to this point, so it felt fresh. Her boss fight in the darkness of the crypts was exceptional, as was her confession sequence.
This arc was mostly good, satisfying fun the whole way through, but didn’t include too much intrigue as the ones ranked above it did.
8. Rygjafylke
Look, I’ll be honest. I’m writing this particular paragraph after completing the game and this opening section was so long ago that I don’t have a great memory of it.
What I do know is that Valhalla opened strongly. I found it all pretty compelling. I remember it being atmospheric, believable and driven by strong characters like Sigurd, Varin, Haytham, Basim and Kyotve. I was bought-in very early and Rygjafylke really got the game off to a strong start.
7. Hamtunscire & Epilogue
Aelfred screen time is a good thing, and this arc earns marks for his badassery in the face of Guthrum, as well as his manipulation of the Dane army. Ally deaths in the battle at Chepeham give the arc meaningful stakes and ratchet up the tension. This arc is brief and straightforward — there’s not much story to it since it’s really just war throughout the whole thing.
Afterwards, Eivor tracks down the final member of the Order and confronts him in a touching sequence over some burnt bread in a small swampy town in the middle of nowhere. It’s a humble conclusion for Aelfred and the swirling epic that was AC: Valhalla.
6. Hordafylke
The return to Norway contains two things: Eivor & Sigurd finding closure with Sigurd’s father, and the two locating “Yggdrasil.”
I quite enjoyed the pit stop with Sigurd’s father, and the entire Yggdrasil sequence was incredibly interesting. It was a refreshing change of pace from what you’ve been doing for the past 100 hours and featured a nice boss fight at the end. No matter which ending you get, the conversation with Sigurd after the dust settles is impactful and weighty.
5. Oxenefordscire
Finally reunited with Sigurd, this is the arc we learn of his obsession with his ancestry and true nature. Eivor’s reaction of discomfort and distrust towards Sigurd’s change is honest and relatable and she must juggle relations between Sigurd and the Thane they are working to put in charge, Gaedric.
Negotiations with King Aelfred are complex and a late intervention from Fulke reveals her true allegiance to the Order and puts Sigurd in enemy hands.
This arc moves the plot along moreso than the last 400 hours you’ve been playing the game, while also establishing and reinterpreting Eivor’s relations with the cast in meaningful ways. It ratchets up the tension of the main quest and narrative, which up to this point had been lagging behind due to a breadth of shire arcs.
4. Glowecestrecire
I’m so surprised to see myself rank this so high — after the first third of the arc, I was considering putting it in dead last. I felt Gunnar’s fiancé’s unintelligible dialogue, the trick-or-treating, the druid encounter, and Eivor’s 400th drunken night of debauchery to be a disrespectful waste of my time this deep (over 80 hours) into the game.
But then the arc turned, with two solid stealth encounters and a stellar boss fight. Navigating the Aelfwood was a gorgeous thrill and the confrontation with Modran is atmospheric and a fantastically fresh take on the typical Valhalla boss or mini boss fight.
When I decided to focus-up on the story and let the Celtic and Welsh mythos shine, the arc became a terrestrial fever dream of satisfying magic, intrigue and character interactions.
3. Grantebridgescire
Eivor looks to ally with Soma, the leader of Grantebridge, but her town’s just been sacked from the inside by a traitor. After saving her three companions in the thick river bogs, you take back Grantebridge and then embark on an investigation to discover the rat.
Its the investigation that makes the whole arc. It has a slew of clues, nuance and red herrings to consider. One of its strengths is how open ended the investigation is — you can follow the quest markers, but talking to the town’s people and hunting down the yellow-painted ship is up to you (at least I think, I played on the most ‘difficult’ exploration setting).
This arc earns big points because the investigation matters — you have to tell Soma to kill one of her closest friends and then watch her do it, living with your right or wrong decision.
2. Eurvicscire
Finally meeting the third of the famed Ragnarson’s, Eivor finds Halfdan a paranoid soul, waxing poetic about friendship and treason. The arc balances the two on a blade’s edge to tremendous effect.
Halfdan believes he has a traitor in his midst and the main culprit is his right-hand man, Faravid.
Faravid's dialogue is expertly written to feign allegiance to Halfdan, but never reveal too much of his true nature. Eivor’s wavering relationship and trust with him are complex and the Wolf-Kissed can lie to both him and Halfdan depending on dialogue choice. Every decision feels like it carries weight. It’s this ambiguity that makes the arc compelling and gives the decisions importance.
This arc could feel disconnected (it’s not part of the main plot and Halfdan doesn’t appear in the late game, no matter your decision) and thus appear as pointless fluff, but I won’t fault it for that. As a self-contained story, this was flat-out interesting and kept me in anticipation of the next reveal or twist. Imagery and foreshadowing, red-herrings, and great atmosphere all make for an engaging and compelling experience. I only wish every shire arc could’ve reached these heights.
1. Sciropscire
Sciropescire’s strengths come somewhat from the arcs that came before it, as it sees Eivor quickly reunited and working with Ivarr and Ceowulf. Your preexisting relationship with both gives this arc an advantage over others where it doesn’t have to establish too much all at once, as well as it starting off with you already having a personal connection of some sort with the main cast. Still, each set piece here is strong enough on its own –

1. Eivor & co. join to negotiate peace with King Rhodri. She can offer 600 silver to whomever she chooses to try and quell the peace talks. Each option is mired in obscurity, has obvious pros and cons, and plenty of uncertainty. It felt impactful, difficult and nuanced.
2. After peace talks go sour with Ivarr’s outburst, Eivor, Ivarr and Ceowulf sack a village under Rhodri’s control. It’s brutal and takes a long time to burn (on purpose!). You then fight a huge party of Rhodri’s men. The whole scene feels vile, over the top and harsh (on purpose!).
3. The twist is that Ivarr kills Ceowulf in cold blood to earn himself the opportunity to get his own revenge on Rhodri — only revealed after you sack Rhodri’s fort (after reaching peace with him). A brutal blood eagle from Ivarr and the game’s best boss fight ensue.

It’s close between the top 3, but this is the best arc in the game, for me.
For once, the game forces you to face the trail of bloodshed and destruction your ‘pacifying’ of England has left in your wake. Additionally, the ambiguous decision-making process in negotiating peace, the brutal village burning sequence, the tangled web of Ivarr’s relationships and motivations, the twists of the peaceful alliance and Rhodri’s fate, and finally, the Ivarr boss fight are just too good all in tandem to not take first place.
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I’m conflicted looking back on these.
There’s many that feel even more empty than I remember them being now that I draft them as text. However, a surprising number of highly-rated arcs aren’t actually part of the main quest.
Ultimately, I’m left bewildered at the scale and scope of the epic that this game took me on. I was so fatigued by the end of it, but in hindsight so happy I completed it.

Hi all, any help here would be greatly appreciated - ended up in my first accident in a hire car and feel disappointed in how enterprise handled the situation.
So last weekend I rented a premium car from enterprise to drive from Sussex to Cornwall for my birthday weekend. Unfortunately I ended up in an accident (no TP involvement) on the A30 on the way there. Luckily no one was hurt but we needed roadside assistance to get the car off the road as it had a flat tyre. Otherwise the vehicle was still turning on and driveable but I'd assume damage costs will still be the full £250 that was quoted on our rental agreement (which I have a copy of, reduced excess as bought damage waiver optional).
We contacted enterprise immediately to report the accident and request roadside assistance, the car had been picked up about 45 minutes after the accident by the AA and traffic police were on scene to take a report of the incident. Enterprise did not tell me that they would be providing any courtesy car and as we were still about 1.5hrs from our destination they couldn't provide onward travel. This accident happened around 8.30pm and we called enterprise at 8.42pm. The car had been picked up and taken away by 9.30pm after they let us get our luggage out. We ended up spending the night at a premier Inn which cost £85.
The next morning at 10.30am I called our local enterprise branch from where we picked the car up and notified them. They said they were very busy with customers but that we would be able to get a replacement car if we rung around to see if there were any available in the branches close to us on the A30. We called about 4/5 different branches but phones were not answered or told nothing available. Called our local branch again and they said they would contact the area manager and raise the issue. By this time we had to leave the hotel as our checkout time was midday and so we had to order a taxi to take us the rest of the journey to our AirBnB. Taxi cost £110. Enterprise called back and said it wasn't looking good regarding replacement car so we started planning our travel arrangements back and bought train tickets for £56, for part of the journey.
We got a call later from one of the out of hours branches, around 6pm, who told us they could bring a replacement out to us later that evening, although it would not be a premium class car. We agreed and car was brought out to us at around 10pm.
From there we had no further issues, drove back on the Monday and took the car back to enterprise on the Tuesday morning: on time and check over was all OK. We spoke to the manager when we returned who had said that even though we were quoted 250 on the excess it should have been 500 for the premium car, so that would cover the costs of our additional stay and travel arrangements. They still charged us for the 4 days of use in a premium class car.
I don't know if it's worth mentioning also but there were some issues with the car when we picked it up (wing mirror buttons not working from inside car). We took the car back immediately as didn't want to risk trying to fix anything ourselves. Enterprise employee manually adjusted the passenger side wing mirror but that was all.
I can't find anything about their replacement vehicle policies online however, so am unsure where I stand exactly - am I able to seek further compensation from Enterprise?
TLDR - rented a premium car from enterprise and had accident, taking it off road. Enterprise provides replacement corsa 24hrs later and have still charged for the full premium rental and claim the low 250 excess that they (accidently) gave us should cover the compensation for additional travel costs

About a year ago, I [29 M] was in a toxic relationship with J [29 M]. While there were no serious stakes in it (no kids or messy finances), the relationship and breakup ended up emotionally affecting me in a way I had never really thought possible. I feel guilty because after the relationship I tried to be friends with my ex still, which I now see as a mistake in the context of this relationship, and then after a few months, he blocked me because I didn't respect a boundary he had set about not sending him long messages. He said he didn't feel safe since I "completely ignored" the boundary.
I was devastated, but over the course of the next few months, came to understand a great deal of ways that I feel that I had been abused during the relationship. I felt angrier and angrier, and even though I was seeing a therapist, it eventually boiled over. My ex had blocked me on discord and probably on text, but I went onto an astrology app called Co-Star that he had had me download, and sent a message using it that said something like, "You were an abusive partner, but you can make it right with an apology."
Now, I have no idea if he actually saw the message. It was sent with a weird feature of the app called Chaos Mode that apparently chooses to send the message at some future time, so who knows if it actually ever sent. I don't know if he still has the app, if he unfriended me, or whatnot. But I feel guilty because I enacted exactly the caricature of me that he had created--I hadn't respected his boundaries, and I sent the message anyways.
At the same time, I am still feeling very victimized by the relationship. To give you a sense of the kinds of things that were going on in the relationship, here's a few examples that I currently find a little horrific [Note: this kind of turned into a summary of the relationship after I wrote it]. I'm aware that to heal I should probably not be ruminating about these things, especially if they lead me to boil over and message him, but here you go.
The first time I had sex with him, he slammed the door on me for not being able to finish and said "finish yourself." When I came to bed, I told him I felt shame. He said "good." The next time we had sex, he set a timer for me and said I had to finish within 5 minutes. These were the first times I ever had sex. He was manipulative in bed, telling me he didn't want to perform certain acts because I didn't give him enough praise for them, so that I started exaggerating my pleasure; he blamed me for why certain positions weren't working and was frustrated with how my body worked. On top of this, he admitted at the end of the relationship to having had sex with me around five times after he decided to break up with me (before he did), which just makes me feel a bit icky.
He would put me down in pretty transparently cruel ways. One example was when I exerted myself, he said I sounded like a muppet and that he "didn't want to be dating a muppet." When I offered him a blanket but apologized that it might not have been washed in a while, he called me a baby. He would insult my ability to give complements, asking me to tell him what color his eyes are but then rejecting everything that I gave him, telling me I was bad at complements repeatedly (and saying that it wasn't fair of him because his other exes were artists, so no wonder I was bad). Now, there were times that he was complementary to me--he told me I was hot, good at singing, good at writing, smart--but also times where he would put me down for things I was less good at, like cooking.
He constantly made me feel insecure about my gender. (For context, we are both men, but he was raised as a woman). So he would make pretty sweeping feminist critiques over fairly mundane things, like if I complained when I was sick he would go off about how men are always babies when they are sick and women don't get attention. When I confronted him about some of the things he was saying, telling him that while I wanted him to express these kinds of social problems so that I could be aware and adapt, I was feeling insecure in the relationship--he flipped it around and told me that if I didn't feel loved, he could say "I love you" less, and that I hadn't been grateful enough for when he came to visit me. (I had written him poetry, deep cleaned my apartment, taken time off work, sent my roommate off for the week, bought him a bus pass, planned his visit, met him in the airport despite not having a car, and just an insane amount of work to be turned into, "you weren't grateful enough").
Other than namecalling, he was just plain controlling. The reason that the boundary around me not sending long messages exists is that when I felt insecure--which I think makes sense given the ways he would talk to me--I would often send him a few paragraphs apologizing and explaining how I was growing. Even though long messages were the first thing he said he loved about me, and that he said our communication was like magic, he eventually set up what he called an "Essay embargo" and told me not to write them. The first time he set the "embargo", he had said it was only until we met in person because he didn't want me to write anything that would make him nervous. After we met in person, I assumed the embargo had lifted. Yet shortly after, he set it again, giving a few explanations--the main one just being that he wanted to appreciate our relationship without overthinking it. It seemed playful. He definitely did also say that long messages made him uncomfortable because he felt obligated to send a response. So, when I did send messages, I would add that he didn't have to respond (which I realize is not fully respecting the boundary). I did ask after sending messages whether they were ok and he never responded to those questions.
Despite this, there were times during the relationship that I continued to send long, often apologetic messages. I had felt like this boundary was set playfully and I also was feeling overwhelming guilt that I, for whatever reason, needed his affirmation for. I am conflicted because on the one hand, I was definitely ignoring his boundary--but on the other, I feel like the boundary was not very thoughtful of my own needs, either.
Prior to the breakup, it was hell. He was getting angry at me for everything--for pretty mundane things like using the bathroom before him and stinking it up. He told me he had to show me how to do everything, but I realize now that a lot of this was just him being particular (e.g, he told me I don't know how to drink tea because I left the bag in, when I just like it strong). Unfortunately, I had flown 5,000 miles to visit him and was sort of trapped in his proximity, and was drunk on love still since I was trying very hard, it was my first relationship, and he had sold me on notions of fairytale romance and told me we were cosmically meant to be together and other lovebomby sort of things. We flew to a convention and I met some of his friends, and at one point he introduced me to a girl he had almost dated before, saying I was a friend and not a partner. I pointed this out to him later and he just said "does that make you angry?". He flirted with a woman at a party, telling her she was pretty while demanding that i bring him snacks (I feel so, so weak for not confronting him about this). He got drunk and I stayed with him as he passed out, but he was angry at me in the morning. When one of his friends told me they thought I was nice, because i was opening doors for everyone, my ex said "Is he really?" Questioning them.
The breakup itself was cold and calculated. He started it by telling me that he thought about not giving me any reasons for the breakup because I always overanalyze things. He told me he wouldn't have broken up with me if I was a woman. He told me I didn't take care of him and he needs a partner that takes care of him, and that his partners always feel taken care of. He threw some things I had said at the beginning of the relationship back at me--misquoting and misunderstanding them.
After the relationship, I had no idea what to think. It was my first relationship. It had started with fairytale romance. I had been passing his tests, I had been an exception to his long string of abusive relationships. He presented himself as this incredibly moral person (vegan, environmentally conscious, telling me of all of the ways others had abused him that he would never do, even his closest friends). I had completely internalized criticisms that he had had of me throughout the relationship, many of which had led to serious self reflection and my writing messages about my growth. Within a week I told him I still loved him and that I always would. He reminded me of his boundary around long messages and said they made him anxious. I was desperate. We took a few weeks of no-contact. We messaged short-messages back and forth, with a few life-updates to eachother each. He told me he was rescuing a kitten that he found, and I remembered how he could be kind.
But as I processed, more and more, I felt angry. I wrote unsent angry letters in the notes app on my phone for a month. I wrote myself a 20,000 word summary of the relationship. This was not a healthy way to process. It elevated me. (Some of you will probably comment that maybe I shouldn't have written this post for the same reason, but oh well--I wanted to process and I want to hear if others have similar stories). Meanwhile, my ex kept pushing back the date for when we would verbally connect again. Eventually, I boiled over. I did not insult him. But I wrote a long message explaining that I wanted to take 3 months of no-contact. I had entered another relationship and told him that even though I was feeling angry at him, he shouldn't be worried because even though I had baggage from the relationship, I was communicating well with my new partner. I also told him that I felt like if I did talk with him, that I would end up tearing him a new one, and that I needed time to cool down. I'm not proud of the message in general, but I didn't call names, tell him he was awful, or anything like that. I was just insensitive and told him I was angry.
And like that, I was blocked. It was over. A period of about 9 months, five of which we were together, with two before escalating towards love bombing and two after escalating towards my boiling over.
And yet, I had never expressed to him that I thought he had been abusive. I felt frustrated that I had told him that I would always love him, when in many ways now I hated him.
Five months passed, during which I came to realize more and more how messed up the relationship was.
And then I sent the message on Co-star.
Fast forward another four months to now.
I just sent him a text, knowing he probably has blocked me there too. It said something like, "I want my last message to you just be: I'm sorry, and I forgive you." I wanted to free myself. I needed to not feel angry at him or ashamed of myself. I needed to not feel like I had a million things to say to him--I needed to just say, this is it: I'm not sending more messages. I'm sorry, and I forgive you. It was for myself. I was forgiving him selfishly, even though he didn't deserve it, so that I could move on.
I feel like I shouldn't have sent this, but I don't feel bad about it yet, either. I needed closure. It always felt like there was some "message I could send" to detail his abuse, and I needed to not have that standing over me--I needed to forgive. I am now oscillating between wondering about myself--whether I have a problem with boundaries, since I had boiled over at this point three times to message him. Feeling frustrated I didn't assert myself about his abuse, that I doubled down on loving him. Part of me is glad that I sent the message on Co-Star saying that he was abusive, because it was the only indication I ever gave him, really, that what he did wasn't ok to me--he had blocked me before I could articulate anything. But I also know that this message even if received would not mean anything to him.
Anyways, now I'm venting about it here on Reddit. Does anyone have similar experiences surrounding self control messaging exes and feeling a bit out of control?

Before I start this, I just want to answer some question I know I’ll probably have to answer later, or share some information that might be important.

1. I have gone no contact with him. (He tries to bait me into talking to him.) Only my friend group knows about the alcohol.
   
2. I know for a fact he drinks, I was with him once when he did it.
   
3. It’s not his parent’s fault, he sneaks it from open vodka bottles in their refrigerator.
   
4. I know he is drinking while underage, I plan to report him to the school counselor if he doesn’t seek help.
   
5. We’re both gay, though I do not like him like that in any way shape or form. He swears up and down he doesn’t like me like that either, but take that how you will.
   
6. He has allegedly been drinking since he was 7. I can neither confirm nor deny this.
   
7. He blames all of his problems on the alcohol.
   

I, 16m, was friends with another boy, 15m, for roughly 4 years. We used to call each other every day to play games. Every single day for 4 years. Everything was fine until I started hanging out with our other (mutual) friends.
After I started hanging out with other people, he began to get very jealous and bitter towards me and the friend I was talking to. He would act annoyed and upset whenever I would do things with my other friends, even though it’s the same things I would do with him. This is when the arguing began. He would make snarky comments toward me indirectly through his bio on either a game we play together or the app we use to text and call. He would always deny that it is about me, even if it was blatantly obvious. (For example, I used to give myself nicknames on the game we play together. He combined the starting letter of the 3 I've used and said something along the lines of “ABC gave me everything but real love.”)
We would argue like this and he would come to school like nothing happened and act friendly towards me, even if it was obvious that I didn’t want to act friendly with him. He would also frequently block me for absolutely no reason, and unblock me after a few hours. If I asked for a reason, he would get mad and change the subject. Of course, I got tired of this and blocked him back one day. To nobody’s surprise, the next day at school he was talking to me and making jokes like absolutely nothing happened.
One day, he even decided it would be a great idea to ignore me while I was sitting right next to him. I would talk to him, wave my hand in front of him to get his attention, and even tap his shoulder. No response. I obviously got fed up with him and let my friends know in a group chat that he isn’t in what was going on incase they were curious why either of us were annoyed. (This wasn't the best idea, I know, however he gets mad when I hang out or talk to them differently than I do with him so the most logical thing to do was to not let him know when I hang out or text with them.)
Before this next part, I have to go back a little bit. Because we would play games together, we would log into each other’s account to farm or grind for something the other wants. This lead to him knowing my password and email. Since he saw me typing on my phone, he saw the group chat that doesn’t have him in it. He took that as a sign that I was talking shit about him to our friends (I truly was not.) and decided to try and hack my account. Luckily, I’ve always used a secondary email on the games we play, so he only got my old account.
Not knowing that this happened, I forgave him for everything that he did prior. A few days later, at the end of school before I left, we were talking when he said the name of my secondary account. Of course, I asked how he knew about it, and he said he logged in. I obviously got very angry at him for this, as I had not given him permission whatsoever. I told him I would have showed him my messages had he just simply asked. This caused him to get angry at me for being angry at him. (He also got angry at me when he got the notifications that he had been removed from my email. I also changed my passwords, have no fear.)
After discussing this with our mutual friends, they confirmed that what he did was not okay. Because I was getting more distant from him, he thought that he should buddy up to someone else in our friend group. (He barely speaks to anyone else if he doesn’t have to.) Of course, he chose the one person that he supposedly hates based on past events. (Not my story to share, I apologize.)
(I don’t remember this part all too well so take it with a grain of salt.) After a while, I decided to give him another chance. We had a conversation where I brought up all of the issues I had with him in a few paragraphs. (Mainly stuff about boundaries and respecting me. Also for pulling my hair whenever he got the chance even though I told him multiple times on multiple occasions to stop.) His response was changing the subject to something different, and about me. I promptly him shut down, however, as he was bringing up stuff that I didn’t do, insisting that he at least acknowledges his problems instead of pretending everything is fine. This ultimately lead to him getting angry and ending the conversation with his signature “Okay. Bye.”
He then went back to pretending everything was normal with me, though he was talking shit about me in a group chat with our mutual online friends and one of our real life friends (The one he hated that I mentioned previously.) She would tell me everything he said about me, but she didn’t want to get involved so I couldn’t call him out for any of it. At this point, I was just tired of fighting, so I went with it. Many more minor arguments happened after this. I won’t include details for the sake of this post not being too unbearably long, since what happened was basically the previous fight over and over.
A while later, one of our friends called him out for his shit, as I had been letting them know what was going on for every argument we had. He got really heated over this, and told her to kill herself and that he never valued her as a friend. She gave no shits at all. He was promptly removed, or left on his own, from all of the group chats with her in them except our main server. They had each other blocked, though to nobody’s surprise that didn’t stop him from talking about her or to her in the server.
Though 2 out of 5 people in our friend group wanted nothing to do with him, that didn’t stop him from sitting with us and trying to joke around with us like nothing happened. For a while, everything was fine. I wasn’t talking to him, he wasn’t talking to me. Another fight happened between him and the friend he hated before, but that isn’t my story to tell either, sorry. The only thing I can say about the fight is that he mentioned his alcohol addiction.
One thing lead to another and I decided to give him one last chance. Again. So, I had another conversation with him, letting him know that im serious about unfriending him if he doesn’t talk to his therapist about the alcohol, jealousy, and obsession with me.
I gave him until the end of the week to talk to his therapist, or I’m gone. Everything was fine until the weekend. I went on a trip to Dollywood on the weekend, 4 of my friends being there. He of course did not come on the trip, as he isn’t in the school club that took us. I asked him on Sunday if he had talked to his therapist about anything yet, and he had said no. I rightfully blocked him, just as I said I would. He proceeded to play the victim and started asking our friends what he did wrong, pretending that I hadn’t told him anything about blocking him.
I unblocked him momentarily to send a message on why I did it. I told him blatantly that if he didn’t talk to his therapist I would block him, and he did not. I may have been a little harsh with my words, but keep in mind that I have given him many chances to grow and learn from his mistakes that he has not taken. He needs help, and I can’t help him. I wished him the best, but told him that the best is not something I am capable of giving him.
After I blocked him again, he edited one of his messages to “call me out” for not doing what he wanted. He claims that I should’ve just listened to his issues and tell him everything was fine instead of letting him know that what he’s doing is wrong. He doesn’t want help, he wants someone to ignore his problems. I told him that im not that person and im tired of pretending I am. He proceeded to make his bio things along the lines of “You never actually loved me” once more.
After his numerous attempts at getting me to talk to him by making his bio about me, I got fed up. I confronted him, letting him know that I don’t want to be friends with him, I don’t want anything to do with him, and that he needs to stop talking about me in his bio. He of course pretended his issues didn’t exist, instead telling me that he would get help for real this time. I let him know that he just admitted to not trying to get help the first time, and that in lying to me, he broke my trust in him.
Because I knew he wouldn’t try to get help, I blocked him after saying goodbye once more. This is when he started openly shit talking me and the friend that called him out one single time. He changed his bio to things about my body he knew I was insecure about, such as my forehead. While I admit that this wasn’t the best thing to do, I gave him a taste of his own medicine. He’s a bigger individual, and he’s told me that he’s insecure about his weight.
Again, I apologize for what I said to him, I was angry when I said it. He said I have a sixhead, so I retaliated with seventeen stomach and that he can’t be talking about me when he looks 5 years pregnant. I mean no hate to pregnant people, I was angry at him when I said it. I do not condone rudeness towards plus sized or pregnant individuals. Back to the story.
He made a post on a platform we all use about how he hates Taylor Swift fans, especially the blonde ones. (Ironic when he was talking about how he liked her a while ago. Also, the friend that called him out is blonde and a big Taylor Swift fan.) So, in retaliation, our other, OTHER friend commented the username to his twitter account where he actively reposts nsfw images of gay furries, often depicted as children. I was the only person that knew about it, since he reposted such images and showed them to me in class, to my discomfort. I am usually not one to air out dirty laundry like that, however he had done something similar to me a while back, and I honestly didn’t care how it would make him feel.
I took another page out of his book and edited my message since we had each other blocked, telling him to stop shit talking me in his bio, and that I wanted nothing to do with him. Since that happened, he hasn’t made his bio anything about me, instead changing it to some joke about being 5 years pregnant.
Nobody has told me that what I’ve done was wrong, I just would like to make sure that I’m not in the wrong here. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Hi, I've been claiming Universal Credit for about 2 years. 14 months ago I was awarded £17,000 compensation for a car accident. I have a letter from DWP CRU saying zero was owed at the time of receiving compensation. I didn't notify them as I assumed this letter confirmed my solicitor had done so.
Some money was spent within a week of receiving and brought my total money down to about £8,000. After Cost of Living payments and being frugal and saving for future treatment I still have around 8k.
My latest UC statement says I'm getting circa £340 a month because I have zero savings. This has me worried if they look into my bank they will see I have above 6k and at some point 17k.
Will they now look at the amount after the 52 week disregard (8k) as over-payment or will they say I was never eligible because originally over 16k?
Will the CRU letter of acknowledgment from 14 months ago be of any help or should I have put a note in the journal how much I had?
Would they require require a debt as full payment or are they fairly open to a payment plan.. example £10 a month?
I hope I've explained my concern clearly and thanks for reading.

My last post (that account is my computer account, this one is my phone) lacked information because of the assumed subreddit rules but if you want the explanation:
But essentially, a player in their server was flirted with by a minor, and after being justifiably uncomfortable with that they thought of suggesting an 18+ server or if not that then at least to have roles to determine age to keep stuff like that from happening again. (because said minor assumed that they were also a minor, hence why they flirted, but after finding out they respectfully apologized and moved on).
The admin team immediately responded with hostility, being accusatory almost. In their staff chat they claimed that the player wanted an 18+ server to use it as dino tinder or to be nasty )which was not the case lot the intention). Then the server owner took the reins on the situation, and made a public announcement saying that if he caught anyone being anything but PG13 that they will be severely punished, and that being disgusting wasn’t allowed on their server.
The player who made the 18+ suggestion made a ticket in which the server owner themself took. They said that they were being misunderstood, that they didn’t want the 18+ server to be inappropriate in, they just wanted a separation so that if inappropriate jokes /did/ happen that minors would not be able to see or participate.
The server owner continuously pushed and forced the player to give them the minor’s username, and at the time of the ticket the player did NOT remember the username anymore, just the fact that it had happened. It got to the point where no matter how many times he told the server owner that he could not remember that it was obvious the owner was just not listening to anything he had to say. So he got understandably frustrated and told the owner to just drop it and that it was no big deal anymore and everyone should just continue with their life because he didn’t want to be stuck in the ticket anymore.
That player also had a spouse who was added into the ticket to give his feedback and feelings on things but he was ultimately ignored by the owner, so he got frustrated and closed/left the ticket before any resolution could be had. The second player has an issue with injustice, so he went into the server in-game and in global chat said that the admins blow things out of proportion and that they’re all faking DID (dissociative identity disorder, in which you have alters, and it forms as a result of horrific childhood abuse… the player actually is diagnosed with the disorder, whereas all of the admins have “fictives” of anime characters from animes that came out recently or games that came out recently which makes no sense when you get down into the nitty-gritty of researching this disorder. According to the player having fictives isn’t unheard of, but having a system consisting only of fictives of hot anime men is unlikely).
They banned him after that, him and his spouse. They labeled him a “fakeclaimer” (a supposed slur against people who widely self diagnose disorders online… hm). But what followed next was what shocked many people. In-game, the server owner themself began trash-talking the players he had just banned upon the players asking what happened. The owner went on the /heavily/ imply that the player and his spouse were p3d0s, or wanted to endanger minors in some way, stating things like “they basically begged me not to look into the incident with minor” “why are they so afraid of me looking into it” “something about that is so suspicious” and the other players online at the time also started slandering the banned players for no reason other than to kiss up to the admins, i’m assuming.
Multiple people ended up making tickets at this point, myself included, inquiring about what happened and informing the admin team that the gossip and spreading of hate and implying untruthful things about people, untruthful things that can /ruin/ lives, even, was uncalled for and very unbecoming as an admin team and that it was frightening that they would react in such an uncouth way to something like this occurring. I basically got the run-around, I was told that I was being disrespectful or aggressive when I was just trying to make my point, I was also told that the player basically deserved it and that the admin team doesn’t have to be silent about things like this (which is just bad practice). It also felt as though the owner was weaponizing incompetence, because it felt like they were purposely misunderstanding and misinterpreting my words to fit what he already thought of me (which was likely negatively because I was standing up for someone who he actively didn’t like).
I didn’t know at the time but my friend also made a ticket to tell them how disappointed she was with their behavior as someone who is an admin for an upcoming game, and gave them a pointer before she told them that she didn’t have anything else to say. The owner asked if she should be added to my ticket which I didn’t mind, so she was added. She ended up replying to the owner saying she didn’t have anything else to say, and that she was sure all the admins were working so hard (a direct quote from an admin). The owner asked her what she meant or for her to use tone tags and her being her she told them to take it however they wanted to and that she was going to be leaving (she was busy). The owner immediately took it as her being disrespectful and sarcastic and immediately banned her. They then turned on me (when I never said anything or did anything disrespectful personally) and told me that they didn’t appreciate the fact that my friend was disrespectful and would undermine the admin team’s hard work like that. I ended up telling them that I don’t control her at all and reminded them that it was their choice to take it negatively when she was just being nonchalant and nonaggressive. The owner snapped at me and told me that I was gaslighting him suddenly, and that he didn’t like that I was defending her. Defending… my literal friend. I told them I was going to defend my friend and they /immediately/ banned me.
So. TLDR: Astral Arcade is ran by a bunch of emotionally unstable people and apparently i’m not the only person to have had such a horrible experience here.

Hi all, any help here would be greatly appreciated - ended up in my first accident in a hire car and feel disappointed in how enterprise handled the situation.
So last weekend I rented a premium car from enterprise to drive from Sussex to Cornwall for my birthday weekend. Unfortunately I ended up in an accident (no TP involvement) on the A30 on the way there. Luckily no one was hurt but we needed roadside assistance to get the car off the road as it had a flat tyre. Otherwise the vehicle was still turning on and driveable but I'd assume damage costs will still be the full £250 that was quoted on our rental agreement (which I have a copy of, reduced excess as bought damage waiver optional).
We contacted enterprise immediately to report the accident and request roadside assistance, the car had been picked up about 45 minutes after the accident by the AA and traffic police were on scene to take a report of the incident. Enterprise did not tell me that they would be providing any courtesy car and as we were still about 1.5hrs from our destination they couldn't provide onward travel. This accident happened around 8.30pm and we called enterprise at 8.42pm. The car had been picked up and taken away by 9.30pm after they let us get our luggage out. We ended up spending the night at a premier Inn which cost £85.
The next morning at 10.30am I called our local enterprise branch from where we picked the car up and notified them. They said they were very busy with customers but that we would be able to get a replacement car if we rung around to see if there were any available in the branches close to us on the A30. We called about 4/5 different branches but phones were not answered or told nothing available. Called our local branch again and they said they would contact the area manager and raise the issue. By this time we had to leave the hotel as our checkout time was midday and so we had to order a taxi to take us the rest of the journey to our AirBnB. Taxi cost £110. Enterprise called back and said it wasn't looking good regarding replacement car so we started planning our travel arrangements back and bought train tickets for £56, for part of the journey.
We got a call later from one of the out of hours branches, around 6pm, who told us they could bring a replacement out to us later that evening, although it would not be a premium class car. We agreed and car was brought out to us at around 10pm.
From there we had no further issues, drove back on the Monday and took the car back to enterprise on the Tuesday morning: on time and check over was all OK. We spoke to the manager when we returned who had said that even though we were quoted 250 on the excess it should have been 500 for the premium car, so that would cover the costs of our additional stay and travel arrangements. They still charged us for the 4 days of use in a premium class car.
I don't know if it's worth mentioning also but there were some issues with the car when we picked it up (wing mirror buttons not working from inside car). We took the car back immediately as didn't want to risk trying to fix anything ourselves. Enterprise employee manually adjusted the passenger side wing mirror but that was all.
I can't find anything about their replacement vehicle policies online however, so am unsure where I stand exactly - am I able to seek further compensation from Enterprise?
TLDR - rented a premium car from enterprise and had accident, taking it off road. Enterprise provides replacement corsa 24hrs later and have still charged for the full premium rental and claim the low 250 excess that they (accidently) gave us should cover the compensation for additional travel costs

It is a man, old and scraggy. He wears a jacket that lays over the red plaid button shirt and blue jeans. He wears an old baseball cap and a pair of glasses. He yelled something to Dad, holding his hands up like he was pleading, although we couldn’t hear it over the truck engine. They talked, but we couldn’t hear what they were saying.
“Hey, what are they saying”, I asked, while petting Matt’s hair, calming him. The old man then put his hands down and came close to Dad in a cautious way. They seem to start having some kind of conversation.
“I don’t really know, hopefully, something good”, Mom answered. They talked for a little while, with daylight beginning to disappear, giving us a sense of dread, and making me more worried about what weird creature was going to show up. Eventually, the old man turned and pointed toward what I think is the northeast. They then shook hands and walked back to their respective vehicles. “What’s going on”, Mom asked as Dad got into the truck.
“Well, our new friend here invited us to dinner at his farm”, Dad replied.
“Does he have supplies?”
“Well, he says has supplies for us to make the journey.”
“Should we even trust him? We just met h-”
“Relax, he’s just an old man, living alone at his farm, feeding his cows. What could go wrong”, Dad countered. The old man then entered the truck that was running and drove slowly, expecting us to follow him.
“Alrighty then, but we have to be cautious”, Mom said, with her suspicions of the old man. We then followed the old truck along the dark, frozen road. It just feels like something is going to show up along the road, but nothing happened. Matt did eventually stop crying, but he is still upset about the Joe escape thing.
“Where are we going”, Matt lamented, with the prior series of events in mind.
“I guess somebody is offering us dinner”, I answered.
“Why can’t we just go home?”
“It’s only going to be a stop, like a hotel. After that, we go to our new home, I guess”, I said, taking another look at Matt and cradling to comfort him. “It’s going to be okay.” I stared out into the darkness. I looked to the sky from the window and I faintly saw something in the clear, dark sky, lit up by the waning moon. They were brilliant, green auroras that defy the bright moon, dancing across the sky like ribbons in the wind. The truck eventually took a right-hand turn into another road, with us following suit. I can see a bright, orange light emerging from a patch of tree. When we passed by, it seemed it was a house, at a farm, burning in a massive flame.
“I guess those people aren’t so, uh, lucky”, Dad said, taking a quick look at it before looking at the road. Passing by, we went on and continued to follow the old man’s truck. We passed onto another intersection until he turned into a driveway to what I believe to be his farm. Going into the driveway, I can see an old house, along with a dilapidated farm further away, barely visible by the headlights. The old man parked by the house, where there were a few other trucks there. We parked alongside the truck and we got out into the cold, near-silent night.
“Welcome to sanctuary, where all are welcome”, the old man bellowed. This is the first time I’ve heard his voice. Matt was the last to get out of the truck, slowly and clumsily climbing out of the truck.
“What’s your name”, my Mom politely asked the old man.
“Oh, I guess your husband didn’t tell ya. My name is Steven, but you can call me Steve”, the old man said, with some crackling in his voice. “I am very proud to host a dinner for you and your family”, he continued. “What’s your name, ma’am?”
“Oh, my name is Janice”, Mom replied, quite pleased at his politeness.
“Hello, Janice, and what are their names”, Steven asked, pointing to me and Matt.
“That’s my daughter Kate and my son Matt”, Dad said to Mom.
“Oh, what wonderful names for a couple of beautiful children you have”, Steve grinned. “Come, it is dangerous out here.” We followed him to the house, which looked like it had seen better days. He entered through the double-set door, the first a solid door and a screen door behind. Entering the house, it smelled like what you’d expect, old man. Looking onto the floor is made of glossy wood and walls with cracks, likely caused by the earthquake. It is dark in there, lit by candlelight from many candles, yet it’s fairly warm here. I don’t know why we went into the house, but Dad was right, Steve is just a lonely, old man. Matter of fact, there seems to be nothing wrong here, other than the cracks in the walls. “Sorry, the power went out. Had to resort to the candles. I knew my wife would come in handy”, Steve explained as he took his coat off. “Oh, supper will be ready right away. Had to use the fireplace to cook. Also, can you take your boots off?” We took our boots and set them aside. We went into what seemed to be a living room, with dusty old-style furniture.
“So, where do we sit”, Mom asked.
“Oh, well, follow me”, Steve commanded, leading us to the dining room, with a long, wooden table and six wooden chairs, along with their corresponding old-fashioned plates, glasses and cutlery, lit up in the candlelight. We noticed that everything on the table was covered in a thin veil of dust. “My apologies, the recent shocks dropped a bit of dust on the table”, he explained as he noticed us looking at the plates and moved into another room nearby. “Take your seats if you like.” We all settled onto the chairs, and blew off our plates of the dust settled there.
“When will we eat”, Matt impatiently said.
“Once Steve comes out with the food”, Mom answered. Matt sat there with a tired look on his face. Dad seemed to be in a better mood than before and it looked like he wanted to start a conversation.
“Hey, should we talk about something”, Dad asked. I then see Steve with a bowl and a silver plate.
“Here we go, may not be much, but at least it’ll fulfil the soul”, Steve said, smiling when he served us mashed potatoes and meatloaf. “So, shall we pray?” That came unexpectedly, as we are not too religious, but we were in his house and gave us shelter and food.
“Sure, we can do that”, Mom said and we all bowed our heads and put our hands together. Steve cleared his throat
“Thank you, Lord, for this good food to feed the soul in these hard times. I shall pray, in the name of the Lord and Jesus Christ, that these hard times shall be over, so we can get on with our lives. Amen.” We raised our heads and grabbed whatever food there was onto our plates. “Oh, there’s no gravy, so we have to deal with bare potaters and meatloaf.”
“Oh, not to worry. Thank you for the food”, Dad thanked Steve. We began to eat the food once we got it sorted.
“So, what brings you here”, Steve asked.
“Well, there is an evacuation order in effect for this area, so we had to go to Regina”, Dad explained, with Steve taking in every word. “So, we came from Strasbourg, we tried going south towards Regina, but we hit an obstacle in the way and we had to take another route, leading us here.”
“And we encountered a few odd things along the way”, Mom added.
“Huh, interesting. What do you guys think is going on”, Steve inquired.
“By the things we saw, we have no idea. Dinosaurs, devil dogs, hell pigs, the whole deal. I shouldn’t forget the earthquake. They told us a pipeline leak caused by the earthquake”, Dad clarified to Steve.
“Hmm… is that so”, Steve wondered. “Wonder what I think is happening? The Rapture is happening. Do you know how the Bible tells us of the end times? Good people sent to be with God and his kingdom, the rest here to suffer the Hell unleashed by Satan.” By this point, he was beginning to rant, but we couldn't stop it as we all began to feel tired and powerless. “So, the Devil will send his demons in the form of these illusions so that they can torment the sinners. It is happening, it is-” Steve manically continued as I drew towards blackness and his voice becoming less coherent. My vision is now all black.
I saw those same lights, but more rapidly than before. I then emerged onto the same clear sky, but something felt different. I can smell something in the air. I can smell what seems to be chemicals in the air. Looking down, I was terrified. Dark, grey rock in the shape of ropes and folds, similar to those I saw of lava flows on a volcano in pictures. This went on as far as the eye could see. I can see no tree this time, just the cooled lava everywhere. I then walked, feeling every bump and crag. I thought I walked forever until I heard a rumbling sound and woke up.
I am in total darkness. It is cold and it smells like cow manure. I tried to move my hand, but it seemed to be bonded behind my back by a rope. I tried to move my feet, but they were also bound by rope to the legs I tried to speak, only to realise my mouth was agape by a cloth in my mouth. I heard shuffling nearby but I could not see. It was then shone in light when Steve entered the door, holding a candle, revealing all of us in the same situation. I then can see what we are in. We are in that same wooden dilapidated barn we saw earlier and seems to be more damaged than the house, wood creaking can be heard.
“These sedatives are more effective than I thought. Maybe I should use them more often”, Steve smoothly explained, like he’s some kind of agent and began pacing. “Wonder why you are here? Well, I wondered the same thing to myself, why didn’t God take me to his heaven? When I first heard of the government telling us of those evacuation plans, I thought it was that, a leaking pipe. I began to notice things I couldn’t believe myself, at least at first. Earthquakes, weird creatures showing up, people disappearing, the whole spiel. I connected the dots. The Rapture is happening, for sure, but why me? Why was I the one left here on this Earth”, Steve calmly ranted, pacing around the barn, but it seemed to sound crazier and angrier the more he paced. “I thought I had lost my way. I’ve been unfaithful to God and his son. But, I realised that God always has a plan and he left me on this Earth to serve a purpose. I wondered what my purpose was until I had a moment.” He then stopped in place and calmed down. He turned to look at Mom with accusing yet crazed eyes.
“I’m supposed to keep the sinners here in line, to earn a place in God’s kingdom, or suffer in Hell. I know you are a sweet woman, Janice, but your treachery with Satan is over and I am going to do what’s right.” Mom then looked at all of us, with assuring eyes like that of an innocent yet caring mother we all know knew. I began crying and trying to speak through the cloth, but I was helpless to watch by. “Forgive me, Father, for what I am going to do.” He then pulled a knife from his pocket and plunged it into Mom’s neck with no mercy. I looked away once he did that, trembling, with tears pouring out and my vision glazed and I fell limp. I could see my brother tearing up, but he did not look away. I can hear Dad behind me, with his screams of agony and anger covered by the cloth. It felt like I was in slow motion, taking in every moment.
I then heard the chair, screeching as Steve dragged the chair containing Mom’s lifeless body towards the door, leaving behind a trail of blood. I couldn’t bear to see my mother like this. I shut my eyes very hard and hoped it would go away. The door then shut, leaving us alone with a candle, fearing what would come next. I stared at the candle, seeing it dance in the flames like a woman dancing in the darkness. Is this how it’ll end, I thought. End up dying to this sick man? My Mom was killed in front of me. I sobbed with that thought, then I began to think about the inevitable death of me. I hope there’s something after I die. Maybe I’ll see Mom again.
It was silent for a while, nearly no sound other than our moans. Dad seems to be fidgeting at the back of his chair, rocking it slowly. Looking past him, I shuddered at the glistening pool of blood, where Mom was last alive, could be my fate. I then see Dad release his arms from the back of the chair and remove the cloth from his mouth. He silently stood up and bent down to untie his legs from the chair legs. He then went to me and removed my cloth.
“H-h-how did you do that”, I silently wept, fearing that Steve would show up at the door and kill us all.
“My binding is loose. The old man probably took a liking to me”, Dad whispered. “I should remove your binds.” He untied them, releasing me, doing the same for Matt. “Now, we need to be quiet.” We then walked, quietly, along the painfully creaking wood in the near dark, following the blood trail, glistening in the candlelight. We cringed and dreaded each sound we made and watched the door in case it began to creak open. A few silent steps later, we made it to the door and we slowly opened it so as not to make any noise. What was revealed to us is nothing new, other than the blood trail continuing in the snow directing towards the back of the barn. “Okay, Kate, Matt, you guys run to the truck.”
“What about you”, I sobbed.
“Don’t worry about me”, Dad responded, giving me his keys and forcing them into my hand. “If I’m not back in a few minutes, leave. Don’t look back, take care of your brother, okay? I love you, no matter what happens.” He then kissed me on the head and ran to follow the blood trail. We quickly walked towards the black truck, stranded there for maybe hours. Getting closer, freedom is getting closer. When we got to a fair distance to the truck, I heard footsteps behind me and, the next thing I knew, I was knocked over to the ground into the hard snow on my face. A hand turned me over to give me a glimpse of a crazed Steve, his eyes wilder than before.
“Oh, yes, trying to escape”, he bragged. I looked at him, frozen in fear, like a deer in headlights and he caressed my face with his bloodied blade. “You do have a pretty face, but I’m afraid you are just one of Satan's creations, made to pull me to lust.” He then raised his knife in the air when a familiar side emerged, out of the blue.
Joe came and bit him in the arm that was holding the knife. Steve screamed in agony the moment he realised what happened. He shook Joe off and stood up to stand his ground. I stood up as Joe hissed and walked around the crazed being he wounded, not in fear but in aggressiveness. “Is this one of your pets, demon”, Steve screamed as Joe came in for another attack, but Steve countered that with a slash to the snout. Joe then ran away, whining, into the darkness. This sequence of events gave me the chance to enter the truck on the driver’s side. I had some trouble starting it, besides this is my first time driving a truck.
Steve menacelily walked towards the when Dad came barreling and tackled him to the ground. Dad was on top when he went limp. I finally put the keys in the engine turned it on and backed out, with memory serving me the instructions on such a vehicle. Steve pushed Dad’s body and stood up, but by that time, we left the farm.
“Turn back, we have to get Dad”, Matt cried, but I was very emotional, accepting what happened. I felt that, without my parents, I feel… useless.
“Dad’s dead”, I screamed at Matt and he began gagging uncontrollably in tears. I began to feel sorry for him. “Sorry, I, I don’t know.”
“It’s okay”, Matt sniffled. “I guess Mom and Dad are dead anyways.” It was silence for a few more minutes, tears welling in our eyes.
“Hey, our parents are in a better place”, I said, trying to make the situation positive.
“But we are stuck here, without them? Don’t we deserve to go to a better place?”
“Don’t say that”, I huffed and I paused for a bit. “I know we are in the, uh, right place now. Let me tell you something, once we get to Regina, I will take care of you, no matter what life throws at us.”
“What about Joe”, Matt asked.
“He’ll be fine. He probably found his girlfriend already.”
“Hey, don’t you have a boyfriend?”
“I, uh, I don’t have one. That I know of”, I spoke, bringing me back to Sam, remembering that she’s the only friend that I ever knew, and I left her. Without her, I felt alone, no one would ever relate. I began to tear up. “I don’t have any friends. I am alone,” I sobbed.
“What do you mean? I’m your brother!” I looked at Matt, and smiled, happy that he acknowledged that we were in this together.
“Thank you”, I thanked him. I slowly stopped on the road, just to hug Matt hard, crying my eyes out. We then heard what sounded like an elephant in front of us. We looked up to see a walking snow-covered brown fur wall with four pillar-like legs in front of us. Its curved tusks gleaned in the light and the eyes reflected in the light. The furry trunk waved around like a searching snake from a tree. We both knew what it was.
“Hey, look at that, a woolly mammoth”, Matt said, excitement running through him. At this point, we weren’t surprised.
“Yep, that is a woolly mammoth”, I added. The mammoth turned to us on the road, seemingly confused about where it was. It looked at our truck and seemed to growl, like an elephant. We are starting to realise this thing is becoming aggressive.
“Uh, should we move”, Matt asked. I remembered hearing something about standing your ground in case of an encounter with an elephant. I hoped it would work for a bigger, furrier version of one.
“No, we have to stand our ground.”
“But, it’ll attack u-”
“Trust me!” I then honked my horn and it backed up. It then rushed, then stopped, a mock charge. Eventually, it moved out of the road, disappearing into the darkness. We sighed in relief.
“That was close”, Matt sighed. I then continued to drive in the night, headlights leading the way. The road is bumpy, as noticed by every ditch and peak we hit, but surprisingly, Matt was fast asleep. I began to get comfortable driving and used to the road by that point. It was silent for a while until we hit a smaller intersection. That is when the truck shut down, completely and stopped. I tried the gas many times but with no effect. There is no light, nothing. It is near-darkness here, shone only by the moonlight.
“Shit”, I yelled, desperate to turn the truck on without much success. Matt woke up, confused.
“What happened”, he yawned.
“The truck turned itself off. I can’t get it back on”, I fretted and at that moment, Matt was just as panicked as I am.
“Why?”
“I-I don’t know. One moment, we were driving, another it just-”, I quavered, when I heard something rustle in the distance. We stood still, hoping whatever it was didn’t find us. I looked around, hoping to see something in the moonlight. I then see a long, walking animal. It looked like some sort of alligator at first, except for a dinosaur-like head. Once I strained my eyes to the darkness, my fear levels rose as I could see it walk on its hind limbs, with its forelimbs dangling nearly touching the ground.
It was wandering around on the road when I heard a near-crocodilian growl at Matt’s side of the truck. Another of those creatures appeared, seemingly looking into the window like a hungry bear, giving us a chance to see its scaly head. Its exposed alligator teeth gleaned in the light like knives, but more terrifying was the eye. Its serpentine pupil shone brilliantly in the light like eyes in the dark. It then ducked down, gave a hiss, and moved towards the other one. A few more showed up and formed a group.
“What should we do”, Matt asked. “Should we stay?” I looked around, hoping for another way to escape them without them noticing. I further strained my eyes and mentally mapped out the area. There is a cemetery on my right-hand side, a grain bin storage yard on my left and a series of trailers on the other side of the highway, which is ahead of us, from the storage area. There, I see a series of white, storage buildings, something we can go to and wait it out inside.
“Okay, so slowly open the door”, I instructed Matt. The click of the doors opening cringed us. We looked at the group, but there was no response from them. We then, as slowly as we could, opened the door and stepped out. Still no response. Matt then quietly ran to the other side, towards me. “Okay, we are going into the storage yard and go to the other entrance”, I said, pointing to the other right-hand corner. I wanted to get as far away from these things as possible before making a safe crossing. “Then, we cross the highway on the other side, run into the buildings and stay there for the night. Are you ready?”
“I guess”, he whispered, looking at me in fearful doubt.
“We are going to do this”, I whispered back. We then silently ran over, having to rely on our night-adapted eyes, to the corner, walking past the bins. We made it and nothing behind us so far. “We’re good so far.” We then crossed the road and noticed nothing. We noticed a tanker truck, leaking some sort of fluid across the road. I easily recognized it as fuel, based on its distinctive, sickly smell. I wouldn’t be worried about it if it weren’t for a collapsed light pole that is somehow still flickering with electricity near the area where the fuel would be flowing. We quickly avoided the fluid when I froze to see the group of the walking alligators, running towards us. “Run!” Matt tried to run, but one of those things appeared and clamped its jaws at the back of his neck. He yelped in pain and it took him down to the ground. “Matt”, I yelled, helplessly watching as the creature tore into him.
Matt reached out his arm before the others came to him, then a flash of fire came. At this point, I knew what happened, but I couldn’t even think before it exploded. It blew me towards the building, far away. I was knocked out for a few seconds before I regained consciousness, groaning in pain on the ice. I noticed something especially painful just below my chest. I reached towards the area with my hand. I pressed on it, more painful than ever and raised my hand, only to see blood, brightened by the fire. I realised I was wounded, maybe by shrapnel made by the explosion.
I looked toward where the truck was and all I saw was a blaze. Those things weren’t there, at least. I also noticed something else, too, there’s no Matt. I tried to look around for something, some sort of sign of my brother within the fire, but I saw none. I then wept, realising I had failed. I have failed to keep him safe. I have failed to give him a better life. I failed him as a sister. I could’ve done better. The thoughts poured in as tears glazed my eyes. At that moment, I failed to look around me.
I noticed a dark thing beside the blaze. I thought it was Matt, preparing to greet him back, even though I knew he couldn’t survive the explosion. The image became clearer and clearer as I noticed it was one of the walking crocs that, glazed by the fire, was coming towards me.
“Just kill me”, I screamed, preparing to painfully die to meet my maker. The creature was about to attack me when something large, silent as the wind, came charging and clamped down its massive jaws, filled with conical teeth on the hapless creature and raised it. The crocodile struggled before going limp with a crunch within its strong jaws. The big, dark and scaly monster that it is towered over me and is as long as a bus, possibly longer. Its large legs are a contradiction to its small arms that hide beneath its scarred, bulky body.
It turned to look at me with an oddly bird-like expression, revealing in the firelight numerous scars from battles I could never know and looked at me with its beady bird-like eyes, breathing out wisps from its nostrils like a dragon in the cool air. I recognized it as a creature I know too well, a T. Rex. I breathed heavily and sickly, looking at the thing, nearly expecting me to drop the body and go after me. Instead, it simply walked away, carrying its bloody prize with it, and steadily retreated into the darkness.
I then lay down in agonizing exhaustion on my back, thinking of the next step of action like I'm on a suicide mission I would never come back from. I looked in the direction of the graveyard and had one thought. I guess I am dying. a graveyard will do. I struggled to stand up, noticing my blood-soaked clothes and felt a broken left leg. I grasped my wound, limping step by step and enduring the sharp pain while shaking in the cold. Every step I took, I remembered all the memories, good or bad, that I had with my parents. My brother. My friends. My family. I eventually reached the cemetery and slouched at a tree.
“Guess I’m joining you, guys”, I said, speaking to the snow-covered gravestones, only to hear something. A familiar sound of chirping emerged and, lit by the blaze, it was a sight I can hope for. “Joe, what are you doing here”, I depressingly cheered as Joe went to me and curled up in my lap as if he were a cat. I noticed the new-found scar he had on his little snout, but I paid no mind as I petted him. “I guess you came back. Thank you so much for what you did”, I thanked him, not expecting such a loyal creature would be with me, comforting me, to the end, like what my mother used to do when I was a newborn. I heard another noise, this time a deep rumble.
I thought it was another earthquake coming, but it got louder the closer it got to me, becoming more animalistic only felt small vibrations I barely felt. Joe stayed put, oddly enough, as T. Rex, different from the first one, came. It walked towards us until it stopped short of us. It began to produce a low-pitched, bird-like purring, attracting Joe. I realised something, that this T. Rex is Joe’s parent. He joined the rest like him, whom they showed up and all chirped around.
The grown Rex then brought its snout closer to me, not to kill me, but to look at me. It did not reveal its teeth and was still purring. I put my hand out and its nose came close to it. It rubbed it against my hand and started to pet its cold, scaly skin as it breathed through its nose and put it on my chest. I rested my head on it before it pulled away. It gave out a hiss, but I knew it wasn’t that of a threat, but more of a thank you for bringing its small, sometimes immature, child home.
That gave me relief, as it felt like I at least did something for once. They walked away, along with Joe, towards the darkness amongst the gravestones in the cemetery. I glimpsed one last desperate look at Joe before walking beside his parent. I looked up at the sky and I could see all the stars, twinkling, and the dancing green auroras. I began to feel limp and felt the cold embrace of death coming over me, tears pouring out of my eyes. The sky then grew brighter and brighter, the stars faded into the light and I could see my family welcoming me to a new home. It then slowly went black, darker than a cave.
You would think this is the end of me. It wasn’t, or else I wouldn’t be writing this right now. I eventually woke up in a hospital in Regina. I was told I was rescued by a team that transported me while I was in a coma. The doctors said I was very lucky to be alive, as the shrapnel narrowly avoided my vital organs. After that, I was adopted into a new family, but I was only with them for a couple of years before finding a new job and moving out.
As for Sam, I don’t know what happened to her. I would like to think she is safe, somewhere else. As for my family, I think of them all the time. I was in a depressive period right after that. Eventually, over the years, I accepted that they were gone and went to a better place. For Joe, I would like to think he is all grown up, like his parents, and becoming the king of the jungle. I hope we meet again.
As for the evacuated area, it wasn’t some pipeline rupture that caused an evaluation, but an anomaly, with the exact reason not known. There are excuses for the claims of weird stuff going on in there, from disease to chemicals, to eventually a previously unknown geological event, but I saw through it all.
You may ask how, it's because I've been there. Take it or leave it, this is the story I have. As the decade came by, cover-ups were made to hide it, even walls were put around it. Since the incident, the exclusion zone grew from a mere 80 kilometers in diameter to 460 kilometers in diameter, emptying entire cities of the likes of Regina and Saskatoon. I had to move to North Battleford, by the recommendation from the same government covering it up, making me think that time will tell before the floodgates of truth open.
The anomaly didn’t have a name initially, however, over the years, everyone agreed on one name in particular: The Saskatchewan Anomaly.

long- I have 50/50 week on, week off custody. We have 5 children ranging ages 5-14. I’ll start with some back story. We were together for 13 years have now been split for just over 2 years. Our relationship was toxic from the very beginning, lots of therapy involved, and ended with domestic violence being part of the whole ordeal. Lots of threats about telling kids it’s my fault, suicide threats, just a lot of fear instilled into me to keep the relationship going.
The advocacy that I worked with stated it was best to fight for only 50/50 custody because there was no physical abuse against the children and father denied or twisted much of my allegations all being he said/she said scenarios. From before we actually split up all the way the dad would take my kids in rooms and privately talk to them. I hoped it was positive things but it was negative things about me, what was going in our relationship and allegations he was making about me to them, and talking to them saying they want to live with him. I asked him multiple times let’s just try to keep this all as positive to them as we can as most of these things are not appropriate for the children. The advocacy group I worked with helped coach me to not talk negatively about the other parent and keep the kids on only need to know things. And most things are not meant for kids ears, which I agreed with.
From his very first 2/3 days alone with them I asked how the weekend was and immediately was told it’s none of your business we don’t have to tell you what we did. So from then on we’ve been on a rule of I don’t have a clue what goes on at dads, I don’t even ask. Fast forward through time and during our custody issues. He has been constantly blaming me for anything that happens, between behavior issues with the kids, hell say they don’t do that with me, they are so well behaved with me. To blaming me for simple accidents like sprained ankle because I’m not monitoring them enough. He says the kids state we don’t have food in the house, the kids say I stress them out because I’m yelling at them all the time, just the list really goes on.
He has since and during all this moved approximately 80 miles away, starting a new family. The kids go to a school about 16 miles away from me, (30 mins to drop off even sitting in the drop off line) and I want them to stay in the school they have been in. I am fine with the commute as I have daily opportunities to work in the area and often do after dropping them off at school. Our case has just come to the mark for modification, so I initiated the modification with the court, because we have not been able to agree in mediation or together about kids schooling. He believes we need to keep 50/50 and the kids need to go to school in the middle (40 miles from both of us). I believe us changing schedule to a seasonal and keeping them in their current school is best.
So since the modification process began, I have learned and been told new things and have had some very unsettling things happen. The day before Mother’s Day my oldest child took me in her room stating she wanted to talk to me. And I just listened. She said she wants to live with dad and her list of whys are things ljke, well our house is older and I find daddy long legs in my room and I think that can be dangerous (we’ve recently moved into a older home that’s new to us). She doesn’t always like the food that I cook, she doesn’t like being pressured to be involved, she thinks I say bad things about dad, (we avoid talking about dad altogether because if I mention dad period it’s you’re talking bad about dad). She doesn’t like the way my boyfriend looks and he smokes (outside). This house isn’t ours it’s owned by my parents. (True however I pay for it). Well after me listening to all that she had to say I told her I was expecting this, (I really was and had already been mentally prepared) I didn’t react , cry yell get upset, anything. I told her that before any changes like that would be made I want our whole situation evaluated by an outside party and I want her to attend lots of therapy because her reasons aren’t reasons to not want to be with me. And if she still feels that ways after doing these things then yea I won’t force yo to stay. Well, after this. She grabbed her phone and said ok dad now I want to start asking some questions. Come to find out she had him on the phone this whole time and was listening to everything without my consent. I told him this is wrong and he knows he shouldn’t be doing this. He said if I don’t just listen he’s calling the police because he’s only listening because she doesn’t feel safe with me. So the conversation continues with him on the phone alittle bit longer and she asked a question about me telling him to kill himself when we were together. I never did, in fact I was always afraid he would do that which is part of why I stayed. I then told my side of the story and then at that point he said you know what we need to go to therapy and do this, and he was done after that. They tried to tell me leave the room so they could talk on the phone. I refused this is my house, and that is my phone. So he finally hung up. After this she said to me that she knows I’m a liar that all I want to do is fight with dad because she reads the messages on the parenting app. We use OFW. He is having her read our conversations on here and she says it’s ok because she wants to know. I let her know this isn’t anything she should be involved in and him doing that is not ok or appropriate, the secretly listening on the on the phone is not ok and I’m also sure illegal.
I told her I wasn’t mad at her or upset with her because her actions during her time with me don’t match these words, and I don’t believe they are actually what she wants. On Mother’s Day was pretty light with her and pretty much a normal Mother’s Day. She drew me a picture, gave gifts, participated with the family chores. We spoke twice about it and both I tried to remain positive asking her to think for herself. Set a goal for yourself to not be curious about what’s going on between me and dad. And if he asks you I challenge you to tell him you don’t want to know. I also asked the 2 other older kids and I believe they are also reading the app. The kids went with him Sunday evening. Yesterday I got a message from him stating she was crying and I harassed her all day, claiming I wouldn’t give her space. Which clearly there are lies. I said I have other adults that were home all day as well and can confirm that’s not true. I asked him to just enjoy his time with the kids and only engage in positive behaviors.
I know this is all a lot but I need some advice , help, guidance. All of it.

Title.
God is unable to understand our pain and struggles. Being unable to die, God cannot comprehend our fear of death, or the pain we experience after a loved one dies. Being God Himself, He never has to wonder if God is real…I mean, I don’t think I need to explain that one. He never has to wonder if His existence is a meaningless cosmic accident, because He obviously knows He is real.
God cannot understand humans. People always say that Jesus became 100% human and so He understands us, but He KNEW HE WAS GOD. How the hell can he possibly get it when He KNEW who He was and what His purpose was from the very beginning? We don’t have that luxury. For God to claim He understands, when He LITERALLY gave Himself those advantages, is complete BS. He could never understand what it’s like to pray and wonder if He is the only one hearing His words.
He never had to worry about that, because He KNEW God existed (AGAIN, BECAUSE HE KNEW HE WAS GOD), He KNEW about Heaven because he came from there. He endured all his suffering knowing exactly where He was going to go after His death. And I already know how every Christian thinks, you’re going to say that “I know where I’m going when I die, too!”
Do you, really? Have you seen the place? Do you know anything about it? Or is it just some hope that you hold onto so hard that it’s become engrained into your subconscious to feel this way? See, Jesus knew this stuff. He knew things that made it impossible for Him to ever claim He was a true human. A true human has no contact with God, no proof of His existence or of the love He falsely claims to have for us.
A true human suffers with no idea if it will actually get better or not. A true human grapples with the fear of death, unsure if they’ll go to an afterlife trapped in Hell, or in the hands of an evil god. A true human doesn’t know God, they don’t even know if He’s real in the first place TO know Him.
TL;DR: Jesus may have been God, but He certainly was never human, He just looked like one. Because of this, there is no way He could ever understand us, and any claim to the contrary is rooted in naivety, stupidity, or denial.

TLDR: GP gave insurer medical records about me without asking.
Background: I was involved with several incidents last year, which really impacted my health. I was paying for it out of my own pocket, but after some persuading by my mates I decided to go through workers comp. The specialist bills and rehab start to add up fast! So mostly just wanted help with that as I get back to normal. So I went to the GP and got him to fill out some paperwork.
As part of the application, you have to agree to let the insurer contact your doctors. I assumed that the process would be like: 1. Insurer writes to my GP 2. GP let's me know (in general terms) what they want. 3. I can say yes or no. Or, at least my GP would tell me shortly after the fact.
Sure, it might be better if the insurer has access to information. Otherwise it might look like I'd just made stuff up. But I still would've liked to be asked, or know it'd happened.
I wasn't asked. The insurer got a letter from my GP, a list of medications I take, and patient records about me. Some were related to the claim, and some weren't.
This all has me feeling a bit uncomfortable. I'm no longer seeing this GP. But I guess I wanted to know if it's normal? I have no idea because I've never been through anything like this before.
Things you might be wondering: My claim got accepted. Insurer said it wasn't because of my GP's letter. They said it was because of the independent medical exam I had to have.
Now seeing a new GP. But kind of wondering if I should be more careful about what information I share with GPs in future? Nothing to do with the claim, it was all above board. But like all people, I occasionally see doctors for things that are embarrassing.
I found out by accident. I got a call from an allied health professional I saw, asking if I was happy if they reply to the letter they got. I asked my GP if he also got a letter. He said yes, but only provided 'limited information' in response to it. I wasn't convinced so contacted the insurer to see copies of the correspondence, which they recently gave me.

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Salones Are the perfect organisms standing a solid Three feet bigger than their next next comparable Species. With razor-sharp claws that can cut through the strongest medals with ease. In reaction times so quick they leave others in the dust.
This specific one was sent on an assassination mission to kill the Ambassador to a meeting of meeting of the leaders of the galaxy.
He torn his way through the roof of the transit truck. an especially large one, caring, probably dozens of lesser species. Scraping his way through the roof and couldn't wait to tear into the lesser species.
Only to hear words that will be stuck with him for the remainder of his life, which was very short.
"That's A Huge fucking rat"
Looking up rapidly he saw four gigantic beings standing easily three feet taller than even himself.
One of them grabbed A metal seat bolted to the floor using the strongest aluminum there is.
He wripped it out and threw it at him. Thinking as quickly as he could, he jumped out the way only for a Buton to hit him in the side of the.
Bone teeth and flesh tore away from the side of these four giants proceed to squish the giant rat flat
The video abruptly stops
And this class is why you don't fuck with humans.while being laughably slow take several minutes to do geometry, not even inside their own head.
They are by far the most physically stronger race there is. Barely having enough intelligence to get off their shit hole of a plant that we did not expect much I'm the new of species.
Until their physical attributes came into play coming from more the highest density planets, that can support life close enough. And the goldy locks zone to have enough energy To host gigantic creatures, the entire planet is home to giganticism of every form.
The standard Humans stands around 5'10. The galactic average is 1'4.
Having extremely dense muscles that require an absurd amount of energy, humans are somehow always hungry.
Everything about a human is gear towards physical strength. Do keep in mind this when you're next to a human. As to not accidentally hurt yourself around one, and the reason Im going over this species, specifically in history class.
Their involvement in the Salones war Is not able to be put into words how vital they were towards victory. The Salones come from the most vicious death world in the Galaxy. They are the perfected Organisms to survive on just about any planet. Normally, being able to tear apart any other species with their bare limbs.
Until humans came along all that perfection organism crap went out the window when you're getting hit in the face by something that could fold aluminum in half and laugh about it.
There are a variety of materials on their home world to to the high gravty. That others rarely available to them to use. Aluminum is nowhere near the strongest material on their planet. In fact, their skeletal structure incorporates metal that how abundantmetal is on ther home planet.
This also means that conventional weaponry was not an option for them instead of using the regular air pressure system that's commonly used today.
They invented a chemical system which releases at such high speeds. It's close to the sound barrier. Even then, that's not a guaranteed kill.
Pausing a moment, seeing the class was not paying much attention aside from the jocks.
How about I play your video just demonstrating how strong they are
booting up a video on the class projector, she proceeded to show a video of a young human. Probably five running in front of a fire range by accident.
Weaponry that shot compressed air with plastic spheres going at great speeds went down ranged and hit the cash straight in the head.
Many of the classes yelled, not wanting to see a young child die.
They are very quickly science.Doing the young child cried for its mother and she came barnching off the child saying that's what he gets for not listening to her.
The child was picked off the floor, barely even bleeding.
The class professor then showed the airsoft matche, demonstrating what they consider. Deadly weapon was nothing more than amoree mature toy for them.
Should I make more is this good?

Before u read, this will be bunch of informations that are barely connected, it's poorly written, I'm not claiming to have done nothing wrong I just need someone to share my situation with and maybe seek some advice.
Me (F20) have been dating my bf (M19) for almost two years. For background : we went to same school and I used to be his long-term hallway crush, but he seemed shy so I made a first move. In the beginning, like every relationship goes, I could brag about how perfectly he's treating me if anyone asked, and, having sh1tty situations in payt with ex and situationship I was over the moon to have someone treat me so gentle.
Before we started dating, he knew I have an ex of over two years, he knew I had two boys being my very dear friends and I told him, as he has no lady friends, that if he expects me to remove one guy especially it wont work and he agreed that he won't be expecting of me to cut off my friends for him with no hesitation. Guy friend in question is kinda boy who sees to opposite gender besties and if someone says they'd be cute couple he'd act as if it's actual inc3st and we never saw each other any other way then friends. At the prom, same guy friend cried for two hours because he thought I didn't have good time because my crush kissed another girl, but honestly I had the great time when i saw how much he cared for me.
My byofriend also, before dating me, without me asking or saying anything said "I'll remove all woman from my life when I have u" aka girls from school that are people he doesn't talk to enough to call them friends but there is some contact between them. I was confused because I didn't plan on asking him to as I have guy friends but i felt respected.
It all ended up the exact opposite, I did remove my friend who i still miss to this day because my boyfriend was overly jealous. On his side : girls from school started to pick up on him and when he told me about it, I sensed bullying and told him to block them because they're being pretty annoying and he, kidd u not, asked "do i have to?" so brought up him saying he'd remove anyone for me and he did after days of arguing and me crying because it's the opposite of our agreement before dating. It wasn't even jealousy on my side and he didn't want to block them because he thought they'd ask why and he'd be uncomfortable but... He made a promise that he didn't keep.
Year later he broke up with me partly because i wasn't "pure"/ I have an ex and partly because of how bad my mood swings were (I had 3 doctors diagnosing me with severe depression and was almost hospitalized at the time I was "moody" ).
That breakup had me getting even worse because he was the guy to say "I'm so scared you'll leave me" "if you stay I stay" "i hope we're forever" I didn't know forever meant one year but the breakup was only 2 weeks long, had me suffering for over a month before he actually broke up because he took it very very slow. I slept 15 minutes a day and i wish i was being metaphoric, waiting for him to decide weather he'll stay or not. I did everything I could, my ocd gets worse in stressful situations and my brain telling me "if you do this, that will happen, if you don't, that will happen" all day every day, but I obviously did everything it told me to do to keep him and he still left and ruined us for 2 weeks of separation.
Note : If someone tells you they have something going on and they can't change it, don't come in their life trying to force a change, weather it's friendship you might not like or mental disorder out of their control, please.
After we got back together : - I told him i spent time home in group chat with two of my girls and some of their friends and random boy we found where we played "guess what I drew" because i couldn't leave bed and couldn't sleep, he got jealous at that random boy and made me feel bad for doing something while not being in a relationship. (I didn't flirt, we didn't talk in private chat, we just played and he was also aroace.)
While we were on breakup I also reached out to my guy friend and he is doing amazing, enjoying life and was happy I contacted him but my boyfriend made me cut him off, again. Tho, his sister best friend (girl) is buying him gifts, sleeping over at their place in room him and his sister are sharing but why would I be jealous? In fact, I'm not, I like that girl more then I like his family.
Anyway, it was last summer, when he asked me to be his girlfriend again I told him that I'll need time to heal, prepared him for the fact that I will bring up stuff he did before we broke up because I'm still hurt, and he'll need to be extra patient and gentle and he agreed, but instead, every time I talked about pain breakup caused because I wasn't over it, he'd yell at me so i tried to bottle it all up.
In past few months, everything I tell him will hurt me he'll find a way to do it, even if it's something he didn't have in mind, if i told him fictionally it'll hurt me so he knows, he'll do it, and when I confront him about it he'd focus on my reaction saying "are u being fr?" (Like I didn't warn him.) or "stop making me angrier I'm stressed" ( Like I'm not, also, stressed.)
Every time he does something i asked him not to, if I had a reaction it would turn into hours long fight and after making me a bad guy for reacting, he'd play a victim saying I misunderstood, it's all in my head ect. Well i started to tell my friend about our fights or I'd ask AI making "story" to see situation from someone else's perspective because I was tired of being told it's all in my head and it's on daily basis.
He recently started to pick up on my traits of ocd or autism that I also have diagnosed and told him about before he asked me out.
This was my overreaction, I agree, but I'm aware and I didn't ask to be this way; He gave me his hoodie so I'll sit in bus ( it was so dirty and I'd rather be standing, but he wanted me to sit with him and offered a hoodie which was nice. ) when we got to my place laundry dryer fell and put his hoodie on my, just day before, washed rug so i can have free hands to pick up the laundry, he picked hoodie up, angry that i left it on a floor for hot minute, immediately and put it on my bed where I sleep. I threw it right away and started crying because I'm extremely germophobic and had flashbacks from how dirty the bus was, he wanted to go home because i was acting too crazy and I know it's too much of a reaction on my side but I'd rather be like that then like people with no basic hygiene. He started asking "are you going to be this way forever?" And pressuring me to answer, then he told me I'm the only person in whole world behaving like this, like I don't know it's too much, I know it, my ocd is taking over my time and my life, my rituals are anxiously long, my fear of being dirty makes me unable to function through out the day, I have it hard already without someone putting a pressure on it, my doctor refused to treat me even tho I told him it takes at least 2 hours after I go to bed to re-do all my rituals so I can sleep without feer and I still end up waking up few times in one night, I know it's not normal bruh that's why it's a disorder lol, I never claimed it was normal but how can I just get it out of my body, I feel like crazy disgusting creature with zero rights to live because of what he says every time I have a" moment ".
He also doesn't fail to make me feel guilty for not paying attention to my tone when speaking or my facial expressions or my sensory sensitivity like it's all my fault, asking when will I stop being like this and that it's just me being like this, that no one else is this hard to deal with.
I love him and he's making me hate my existence, my flaws, things I can't change about myself, what am I supposed to do about it? Therapy in this country isn't much of help. I feel so guilty oftenly for being the way I am and I didn't even list half of the things.
He also makes me feel guilty for him giving me his time, when we have plans for a day but we spend that day with him always being in rush to go back home and him complaining how he didn't have to do A B and C because he "had to see me" like he doesn't even want to see me. (Same boy who said, over year ago " I can't stand seeing you only four hours a day I wish to be around you all the time".
We're fighting every day and every day it's something I asked him not to do but he still did and it always ends up with me being just too angry all the time and him doing nothing wrong.
He doesn't communicate well, he's messages contains 2-3 words and when I understand what he wrote instead of what he "meant" it's my fault. I warned him more then year ago that if I keep trying to explain in 5 different ways my point of view while he doesn't even explains his with valid sentence I'll give up on talking.
He's "explanation" goes like this : If i ask for two plus two he'll say the fishes brethe air - not only is the explanation wrong in general but it never has anything to do with my question. Like dudes that cheat and excause is that his grandma died, you get it?
Now, I'm so tired that when I try to tell him what's wrong, when he starts to be self defensive I block him because I can't take it anymore, I now can't communicate because I know how it'll end up anyway and it lost it's meaning. I'm turning out toxic but I'm tired, my soul is tired while his soul is rotting.
It hurts watching my sweet boy turning into such an ignorant and pathetic person. I started to think he has npd.
It seems like only solution is for me to stop reacting and to bottle everything up, but that's not relationship I want. I don't want to pretend I'm fine when I'm not, I don't want to keep masking around my own partner just for the sake of his ego because that guy can't stand being told he did something wrong and it takes hours of justifying, self-defense and victim role for him to actually say sorry without even understanding why he should be apologizing for.
TLDR : I (20f) am dating my bf (19m) who's only ever focused on my reaction when he's mistreating me then the reason why I reacted.

Before u read, this will be bunch of informations that are barely connected, it's poorly written, I'm not claiming to have done nothing wrong I just need someone to share my situation with and maybe seek some advice.
Me (F20) have been dating my bf (M19) for almost two years. For background : we went to same school and I used to be his long-term hallway crush, but he seemed shy so I made a first move. In the beginning, like every relationship goes, I could brag about how perfectly he's treating me if anyone asked, and, having sh1tty situations in payt with ex and situationship I was over the moon to have someone treat me so gentle.
Before we started dating, he knew I have an ex of over two years, he knew I had two boys being my very dear friends and I told him, as he has no lady friends, that if he expects me to remove one guy especially it wont work and he agreed that he won't be expecting of me to cut off my friends for him with no hesitation. Guy friend in question is kinda boy who sees to opposite gender besties and if someone says they'd be cute couple he'd act as if it's actual inc3st and we never saw each other any other way then friends. At the prom, same guy friend cried for two hours because he thought I didn't have good time because my crush kissed another girl, but honestly I had the great time when i saw how much he cared for me.
My byofriend also, before dating me, without me asking or saying anything said "I'll remove all woman from my life when I have u" aka girls from school that are people he doesn't talk to enough to call them friends but there is some contact between them. I was confused because I didn't plan on asking him to as I have guy friends but i felt respected.
It all ended up the exact opposite, I did remove my friend who i still miss to this day because my boyfriend was overly jealous. On his side : girls from school started to pick up on him and when he told me about it, I sensed bullying and told him to block them because they're being pretty annoying and he, kidd u not, asked "do i have to?" so brought up him saying he'd remove anyone for me and he did after days of arguing and me crying because it's the opposite of our agreement before dating. It wasn't even jealousy on my side and he didn't want to block them because he thought they'd ask why and he'd be uncomfortable but... He made a promise that he didn't keep.
Year later he broke up with me partly because i wasn't "pure"/ I have an ex and partly because of how bad my mood swings were (I had 3 doctors diagnosing me with severe depression and was almost hospitalized at the time I was "moody" ).
That breakup had me getting even worse because he was the guy to say "I'm so scared you'll leave me" "if you stay I stay" "i hope we're forever" I didn't know forever meant one year but the breakup was only 2 weeks long, had me suffering for over a month before he actually broke up because he took it very very slow. I slept 15 minutes a day and i wish i was being metaphoric, waiting for him to decide weather he'll stay or not. I did everything I could, my ocd gets worse in stressful situations and my brain telling me "if you do this, that will happen, if you don't, that will happen" all day every day, but I obviously did everything it told me to do to keep him and he still left and ruined us for 2 weeks of separation.
Note : If someone tells you they have something going on and they can't change it, don't come in their life trying to force a change, weather it's friendship you might not like or mental disorder out of their control, please.
After we got back together : - I told him i spent time home in group chat with two of my girls and some of their friends and random boy we found where we played "guess what I drew" because i couldn't leave bed and couldn't sleep, he got jealous at that random boy and made me feel bad for doing something while not being in a relationship. (I didn't flirt, we didn't talk in private chat, we just played and he was also aroace.)
While we were on breakup I also reached out to my guy friend and he is doing amazing, enjoying life and was happy I contacted him but my boyfriend made me cut him off, again. Tho, his sister best friend (girl) is buying him gifts, sleeping over at their place in room him and his sister are sharing but why would I be jealous? In fact, I'm not, I like that girl more then I like his family.
Anyway, it was last summer, when he asked me to be his girlfriend again I told him that I'll need time to heal, prepared him for the fact that I will bring up stuff he did before we broke up because I'm still hurt, and he'll need to be extra patient and gentle and he agreed, but instead, every time I talked about pain breakup caused because I wasn't over it, he'd yell at me so i tried to bottle it all up.
In past few months, everything I tell him will hurt me he'll find a way to do it, even if it's something he didn't have in mind, if i told him fictionally it'll hurt me so he knows, he'll do it, and when I confront him about it he'd focus on my reaction saying "are u being fr?" (Like I didn't warn him.) or "stop making me angrier I'm stressed" ( Like I'm not, also, stressed.)
Every time he does something i asked him not to, if I had a reaction it would turn into hours long fight and after making me a bad guy for reacting, he'd play a victim saying I misunderstood, it's all in my head ect. Well i started to tell my friend about our fights or I'd ask AI making "story" to see situation from someone else's perspective because I was tired of being told it's all in my head and it's on daily basis.
He recently started to pick up on my traits of ocd or autism that I also have diagnosed and told him about before he asked me out.
This was my overreaction, I agree, but I'm aware and I didn't ask to be this way; He gave me his hoodie so I'll sit in bus ( it was so dirty and I'd rather be standing, but he wanted me to sit with him and offered a hoodie which was nice. ) when we got to my place laundry dryer fell and put his hoodie on my, just day before, washed rug so i can have free hands to pick up the laundry, he picked hoodie up, angry that i left it on a floor for hot minute, immediately and put it on my bed where I sleep. I threw it right away and started crying because I'm extremely germophobic and had flashbacks from how dirty the bus was, he wanted to go home because i was acting too crazy and I know it's too much of a reaction on my side but I'd rather be like that then like people with no basic hygiene. He started asking "are you going to be this way forever?" And pressuring me to answer, then he told me I'm the only person in whole world behaving like this, like I don't know it's too much, I know it, my ocd is taking over my time and my life, my rituals are anxiously long, my fear of being dirty makes me unable to function through out the day, I have it hard already without someone putting a pressure on it, my doctor refused to treat me even tho I told him it takes at least 2 hours after I go to bed to re-do all my rituals so I can sleep without feer and I still end up waking up few times in one night, I know it's not normal bruh that's why it's a disorder lol, I never claimed it was normal but how can I just get it out of my body, I feel like crazy disgusting creature with zero rights to live because of what he says every time I have a" moment ".
He also doesn't fail to make me feel guilty for not paying attention to my tone when speaking or my facial expressions or my sensory sensitivity like it's all my fault, asking when will I stop being like this and that it's just me being like this, that no one else is this hard to deal with.
I love him and he's making me hate my existence, my flaws, things I can't change about myself, what am I supposed to do about it? Therapy in this country isn't much of help. I feel so guilty oftenly for being the way I am and I didn't even list half of the things.
He also makes me feel guilty for him giving me his time, when we have plans for a day but we spend that day with him always being in rush to go back home and him complaining how he didn't have to do A B and C because he "had to see me" like he doesn't even want to see me. (Same boy who said, over year ago " I can't stand seeing you only four hours a day I wish to be around you all the time".
We're fighting every day and every day it's something I asked him not to do but he still did and it always ends up with me being just too angry all the time and him doing nothing wrong.
He doesn't communicate well, he's messages contains 2-3 words and when I understand what he wrote instead of what he "meant" it's my fault. I warned him more then year ago that if I keep trying to explain in 5 different ways my point of view while he doesn't even explains his with valid sentence I'll give up on talking.
He's "explanation" goes like this : If i ask for two plus two he'll say the fishes brethe air - not only is the explanation wrong in general but it never has anything to do with my question. Like dudes that cheat and excause is that his grandma died, you get it?
Now, I'm so tired that when I try to tell him what's wrong, when he starts to be self defensive I block him because I can't take it anymore, I now can't communicate because I know how it'll end up anyway and it lost it's meaning. I'm turning out toxic but I'm tired, my soul is tired while his soul is rotting.
It hurts watching my sweet boy turning into such an ignorant and pathetic person. I started to think he has npd.
It seems like only solution is for me to stop reacting and to bottle everything up, but that's not relationship I want. I don't want to pretend I'm fine when I'm not, I don't want to keep masking around my own partner just for the sake of his ego because that guy can't stand being told he did something wrong and it takes hours of justifying, self-defense and victim role for him to actually say sorry without even understanding why he should be apologizing for.
TLDR : I (20f) am dating my bf (19m) who's only ever focused on my reaction when he's mistreating me then the reason why I reacted.