So I fell off a roof back in March and shattered my ankle. It was to the point where I needed surgery to repair it. Workers comp denied my claim due to not wearing a harness and being tied off. I got a workers comp lawyer to help fight it. I don't have a court date until October, so I don't think I'll get any money until then. I bought a house a couple years ago and have already gone through my savings to stay afloat. I work in construction focusing on chimneys. I get paid 100% commission. I signed some paperwork back in 2019 stating that we will tie ourselves off and repair the shingles as needed. Unfortunately safety isn't enforced at the company. The rule didn't state anything about metal roofs, which is what I fell off of. My ankle isn't healing as well as expected, so I'm looking at at least another month until I can start walking. Can I look into applying for unemployment or short term disability in the mean time? Would that effect workers comp? My lawyer isn't really communicating with me very well because the court date is months away. It's been effecting me mentally as well because I'm pretty much stuck in bed with no income. Just looking for some advice. I don't want to touch my 401k, but my credit cards are getting high, and I have to afford my mortgage.

We have had trouble finding rentals in the past due to not-great credit (low 600s) and 3 pets. We're getting near the end of current lease and our landlords (close friends) have been very happy with us performing repairs, improving the HVAC system, preventative maintenance, etc. Would this type of thing make a tenant more attractive? Are recommendation letters a thing? We are only looking at single family, and not interested in renting anything from a property management company.

Recently my 2008 4runner Limited V8 (139k miles) was in a catastrophic hail storm, baseball size. Started a claim but have t done the virtual inspection through State Farm yet. Went to two hail repair shops and both stated that it’s prob $10k - $12k damage and will prob total the vehicle. They would need to replace hood and roof, plus windshield, then paint everything but the doors to color match. I’ve made suspension upgrades and wheel/tire upgrades to this vehicle. It’s considered a rare find due to the V8. I’ve seen similar trucks being sold by dealers for $15k - 20k. Love this truck too much to give up. As I understand it, if they total it, they will offer me a check to buy it (probably lowballed) and if I choose to keep it then they’ll offer me even less. So infuriating. Can’t decide what the smarter move it. Just buy a new hood myself ($1200 painted) and not worry about the roof (which is barely visible bc it’s lifted) then just get the other few spots repaired that are visible. or risk continuing with the claim and getting cut a check worth a fraction of my truck and paying out of pocket for the rest of the repairs just so I can get comprehensive coverage again.
I can’t understate how much I hate insurance companies. Such a goddamn racket.

First some things I should clarify: 1. I'm a scout main, medic secondary 2. I don't play comp being competitive is scary so these are casual thoughts albeit from the perspective of someone who still cares about performing better than terribly 3. Some of these might be considered hot takes but what isn't a hot take is how hot you are
Alright now that half the readers are gone, this is just a random list of takes I have from my now 500 hours in TF2

1. (Combo) Pyro takes skill, sure head-empty phlog scorch shot spam pyros are uh... an existing entity that don't seem to have any regard for how much fun the person they're fighting is having compared to themselves, but pyro really is so much more dynamic than that like all the airblast mindgames. There's also almost nothing as satisfying as detonator jumping, switching to powerjack before you land, and hitting the fattest bhops of the century
   
2. Mad milk is at least a little bit absurd and I'm not sure why it doesn't bother people I use it on, on the rare occasion I actually hit my shots and am just back to full health after I kill them
   
3. I've come to the conclusion that afterburn is only really annoying because you feel the effects of it over time when the fight is over rather than in the moment (although aimpunch is stupid and makes me motion sick I wish each tick of afterburn didn't give you aimpunch that's just evil (except maybe in the case of snipers?))
   
4. Heavy is fun but only really because I like how tracking aim feels so I play him less for the class and more for the fun of just trying to keep the crosshair on the scary fast guy
   
5. Also heavy related, the dalohk? (chocolate bar) is awesome, +50 health and it recharges so fast
   
6. Bhopping can actually make a huge difference. 2fort for example, excluding speed buffs and debuffs, EVERY class except heavy and soldier can bhop onto the top of the bridge roof. Or if you're being shot at from behind while trying to flee from a situation, bhopping can just continually keep preserving and giving you more speed from the people shooting you
   
7. Protect your medics they're more important than you to be frank (although you can't really protect bad/overextending medics no matter what and the fault in that case would go much more onto them)
   

1. Hot take time, the rest of the things I'm going to say in this post are in the hot take territory. Engi is kinda BS. This isn't really a TF2 take as much as it is a competitive games take in general, but getting kills by an aimbot that's built in just doesn't sit well with me. Especially when it's so powerful that in TF2's case it kinda just causes every single match ever to be a battle for last just because a few engis pressed 4 and then 1. Especially when you combine it with the fact that he has the shotgun, unironically one of the best weapons in the game it's like the scattergun but maybe 10% worse but the scattergun is already so high up there.

As far as scouts vs sentries though, scout does need counters, that's whatever. My gripe with engi is much more just in the fact that he can get a kill at all without doing anything himself. Again, not really a TF2 complaint though as much as a game design philosophy because there's far more games with classes like engi that have the same issue.
No comment on teleporters though, I don't use em because y'know scouts aren't supposed to and whatnot. I do think dispensers are kind of underprioritized though when it comes to people just having duels when once person happens to be next to their team's dispenser

1. Kinda similar to the last one, but splash damage is kinda BS too. Mostly for the reason that you can kill people that you can't even see with it. I talked way too much about engi so I'll just leave this at this so I don't do the same here. If you have any thoughts on this that are more than just "skill issue" i'd love to discuss them though i'm much more open to this one because I feel like it might just feel more like a cheap way to get killed than unfair
   
2. Sniper Oh boy Not even gonna touch on the concept of balance here, he's just not even fun to fight against. "Just don't to into the sightlines" isn't really that great of a solution I feel like, because I feel like if the solution to some part of a game is to just not play that part of the game, it's fundamentally flawed. Also sniper has legs himself too.
   
3. Friendlies Something that really baffles me is why people kill friendlies. Regardless of the whole debate about people playing a game the way they want or developer intent: Killing friendlies is just objectively the worst thing you can do for yourself 99% of the time. You literally just create enemies for yourself that are only going to target you and for literally no reason. If you're playing to actually win the game you wouldn't kill em because that's frankly just braindead. Of course there are those hoovies from time to time that say the most heinous shit when they get killed and that's just... them being a bad person straight up, not defending them, but it still doesn't change the more objective point I'm trying to make here that killing friendlies just puts a serious player at a disadvantage and wastes a serious player's time and energy.
   

End of list, I wanna hear your thoughts, keep it civil

As-salamu alaykum. I am at a really low place and in need of some guidance.
I was born and raised Muslim Alhumdulilah. My mother is Arab-Hispanic, and my father is Arab. I am grateful for the ways my culture was prominent in our household, I speak Spanish/Arabic because of that. I am 21 years old right now, but when I was freshly out of high school I was very selfish, misguided, and living for fun in this Dunya. I dated this Arab-Muslim guy for about a year long distance when I was 17/18, ended things with him because we were very different and I was unhappy. I also talked to some other Arab guys, Muslim guys, and non-muslim guys, nothing serious but I was just being young and foolish. This was also peak COVID time so I was very lonely and just wanted a connection.
In 2021, I met this guy that I worked with and immediately had a crush on him. We liked each other so much, he was everything I wanted personality-wise. He is Asian and grew up Buddhist. He has always been so romantic, making me feel special i.e. writing me letters, surprising me with gifts at my bedroom window, exploring new places with me, sneaking around together, and going on fun-filled dates. Our relationship has felt like a movie.
I met his parents, but we kept our relationship hidden from my family as they do not approve of haram dating. I had told him from the start that I would only date him with the intention of marriage and I can't marry him unless he's Muslim. I also did not want him to convert for me, but only for Allah. Buddhism never felt right to him, he hated the idea of worshipping multiple Gods and felt lost with Buddhist teachings, so he was already interested in Islam before me. Islam was so simple to him and just made sense so he studied Islam on his own, made many Muslim friends, began going to the masjid, fasting, and practicing Islam after a few months of us being together.
Ramadan 2023 was very transformative for me, I was at a very low point in school with my depression and anxiety, Islam and his comfort got me through dark times. We began to think of our relationship much more seriously, focusing on school, and trying not to meet in private places anymore. We also began to take Islam much more seriously come Fall 2023. Both our deans were strengthening and we were dedicated to being better Muslims. In December 2023, he officially took his shahada Alhumdulilah. He recites the Quran more beautifully than anyone I have ever heard. We always glance at each other at Jummah prayer. He always reminds me of when it's time to pray and brings me closer to Allah.
After taking his shahada, he told me he wanted us to do our Fatiha ASAP. Despite us not being ready financially and still in school, he wanted us to tell my parents finally and get the ball rolling so we could do our nikkah in the new year. I was very hesitant and nervous but agreed because at the end of the day, I more than anything wanted us to be halal and wanted to love him openly for the sake of Allah.
I have never felt closer to Allah than this time in my life, I even committed to wearing the hijab in February 2024. Alhumdulilah. I hope to only increase my dean moving forward.
We made a plan to tell my parents in April 2024, a few days before Eid. I was very scared and anxious because my father is very intimidating, stubborn, and close-minded. I went into their room after Iftar and told them "I want to get married for the sake of Allah" They were both shocked but my dad said "Great. Fantastic." and I continued with "There is someone who would like to get to know me and talk to you first Baba" and he said "Do I know this person?" I said "No" he said "Where are they from?" and I said "He is Filipino-Japanese" and he said, "We'll talk about this later." My mother gave me a very angry look and said nothing, a couple of minutes later my dad came into my room saying "Don't worry about nothing Baba, we will figure this out and talk more later." I was very relieved and shocked that he didn't yell and scream at me. My mother texted me saying she is upset I didn't tell her and this is so shocking and I am so young blah blah blah. I knew they just needed time to process everything.
The story we were going to go with was just telling everyone we worked together long ago and reconnected through school (obviously not telling them we had been dating already for almost 3 years).
About 2 weeks later, my father finally told his brother (who is a second dad to me and my father leans on him a lot for everything). My uncle immediately wanted to speak and level with me, so I met up with him and told him about it, and he was very excited and supportive and asked for my partner's contact info ASAP so they could meet.
They met, my uncle loved him, about a week later he met both my parents, my parents liked him but my dad said "he isn't ready or have a set plan in life" just because my partner is still in school and sorting those kinds of things out for his future. The other big thing they didn't like was the fact that my partner's mother does not approve of him being Muslim and still doesn't know.
So let's get into that, basically, his family is of Buddhist religion but doesn't practice it at all. Although his mother loves me, and says she would love for us to marry, she will not allow him to be Muslim. She has threatened him in many ways, saying she should expose us to my family or kick him out of the house, saying she would never forgive him, he would dishonor his family, and he can't abandon the religion he was born with. Honestly, it's all nonsense and fear, but I understand this is just the mentality of most immigrant families. They left Japan before it became more westernized so they have very traditional values. She is also scared of Islam and has misconceptions about it, despite my partner always educating her. Ramadan was especially difficult for him as they would serve him food he couldn't refuse and make him eat pork. He is the oldest of six children, and all his little siblings support him and want us to be together. His father doesn't care about religion and knows he is Muslim. His grandmother who he is very close with, closer with than his mom, disapproves of him being Muslim also so they are the two that make this a challenge.
He told my parents some of that saying he can't tell his mother he is Muslim until he is financially stable enough to live on his own. My family really hates the idea of me having toxic in-laws or a mother-in-law that could raise hell in my life. Obviously, I don't want that for myself or my future children either but it is just something I have to sacrifice in the beginning and continue to make dua about in hopes they will come around one day.
My mom instructed me to just wait 6 months or longer before we move forward with the Fatiha so we can see where he is at and what changes for his circumstances. I agreed, and as much as we want to make it halal, we will wait if we have to.
In May 2024, I was preparing to graduate from university and I was crying the whole week of my graduation feeling so overwhelmed by my emotions of happiness, gratitude, but also pain as my extended family were all giving their opinions on my situation and some saying very hurtful superficial things. Many believe I could do better. Nobody tells you how when word gets out about you possibly marrying someone, everybody will give their unwarranted opinions.
Anyway, we had a little grad party at my house and my mom said I could invite him. I didn't run it past my dad because I just figured he was coming to support me the same way all my other friends were. My dad was furious that he was there and even had us wrap up the party early. That night I got a huge lecture from my father. I couldn't even really fight back, he is very scary when upset, and there were only so many words I could get in.
He went on a rant about how he feels disrespected. How I cannot marry him because he has no career, is not done with school, and has a bad situation with his mother. Honestly, all of this just feels like a buffer for this next part: "You can't marry him because he is Asian and you are not allowed to marry outside of the Arab culture." He said things like I would be destroying our bloodline, he couldn't look at his future grandkids the same way, he isn't good enough for me, my grandpas in their graves would be disappointed, he wants someone he can speak in Arabic with. He even suggested I find someone on an Arab dating app, but then contradicted himself saying someone should approach him first before trying to get to know me.
We are Palestinian and being Palestinian is everything to me, it is a huge part of my identity and I plan on making it a huge part of my children's identities also. However, culture is something that is taught and passed down, and not through blood. He said I could marry any Arab I wanted but that's also a contradiction because if he cared about Palestinian bloodline he would have me marry strictly Palestinian. None of this makes sense to me as we already have a very mixed family with A LOT of reverts. Also my father was very absent when I was growing up, he started becoming religious a lot later in life, and neither of my parents guided me well in Islam, Alhumdulilah I came to it on my own. It really upsets me that they expect me and my siblings to be super cultured, super Arab, and super religious when they also grew up in America and decided to raise us in this western society.
He said to put a big X on this guy because there is no way I can marry him. My father also said "To me, religion and culture are the same thing, they go hand in hand" and I said Astafuriallah you cannot equate Islam with any race/culture. I even quoted Surah Al-Baraqarah saying "It is better if your daughter marries a believer who is poor than a disbeliever who is rich."
Honestly, I was not expecting this to turn into a race thing. The situation with his mother is honestly the most difficult part, but something we can overcome through the grace of Allah. From all the opinions of everyone, it just feels like they don't care about my happiness and what I want. I am just so exhausted of living my life for other people when I only want to live it for Allah. I want to get married for Allah and I found someone who is a believer, who will love and take care of me and make me smile, isn't that enough? My father broke my heart that night and I was sobbing in my room. My sister comforted me and supported me saying just give it time and be patient, if it's meant to be it'll be.
What breaks my heart even more is that my partner has no one to turn to. I continue to tell him this is a test from Allah and you have to turn to him, but he feels so incredibly alone and neither of us knows where to go from here.
I have started nursing school this summer and have been busy with that, he is busy with work and classes. We decided to just take a step back and focus on our careers. But we still talk every day and see each other occasionally. There have been so many nights where we talk about our situation on FaceTime and just cry together. This man has been with me through everything. We feel like we are each other's soulmate, person, and best friend. All of our dreams of marriage and building a family together have been wrecked. We made promises of walking hand and hand into Jennah together, how can I leave someone I made those promises with? He feels like home to me. I was definitely naive in the beginning, made some mistakes, and I know it's my fault for falling in love as Allah tells us not to in order to avoid this kind of heartbreak. But I really just don't know what to do. We were trying to do everything right, and it still wasn't enough.
Maybe I could quote on quote do better, but even when I look at another man or find someone else attractive, nobody is comparable to him, and the way he knows all my deepest thoughts, weird antics, and insecurities. I have never been so vulnerable and intimate with another person, how can I throw that away?
They say in Islam that true love and marriage will come easily, but what about the ease after the burden? I thought good things take patience and come with hardships? I just have so much confusion, heartache, and unclarity. I prayed Isthikara but felt as though nothing came of it. I have never had this much difficulty listening to my heart and intuition before. I am so comfortable with him, the thought of starting over with someone new I can't comprehend. And if he finds another girl, what difference does it make for his situation? His mother will still not approve of Islam as of now. He feels like both his options are poison, and he will be much more miserable without me than with.
I watched the movie Past Lives recently and that destroyed me even more. If I marry someone else, I will always wonder what if it had been him, what if it worked out for us? How can I live with those thoughts? I would rather marry him and see how it goes, attempt happiness together, then have never tried at all and abandon what we have built. I am hoping this is just the climax of the movie before our happy ending and not the end of our story.
We feel lost, but love each other so much. Where do we go from here?

Put on your steel-toe boots — I’m about to trounce on some toes.
When the Apostle Paul told us in 2 Timothy 3:16 that “All scripture is inspired by God”, he did not mean the authors of scripture were merely stenographers taking dictation as the Holy Spirit spoke specific words. To the contrary, the Spirit of God guided them to understand the truth (John 16:13); and these men, from out of that understanding, then recorded the stories, the divine instruction, and the wisdom of the Lᴏʀᴅ. Thus, from the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the writers and editors of scripture said what they meant, they meant what they said, and if they didn’t say it, they didn’t mean it. Hence, the Apostle Paul charges us: Now, brothers and sisters, I have applied these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, so that you may learn from us the meaning of the saying, “Do not go beyond what is written.” (1 Corinthians 4:6)
IOW, we are to take each passage of scripture for what it says in itself, according to its plain and obvious sense.
They wrote in three different languages, in lands hundreds of miles apart, over a time span of several hundred years. They spoke to a wide variety of ethnically diverse peoples with even more diverse cultures. In every case, the Holy Spirit was guiding. Yet we must take serious account of the wide variety of ways in which the Holy Spirit brought the Word of the Lᴏʀᴅ to us. Not to do this leads to serious error. The New Testament letter to the Hebrews tells us: “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.“ (Hebrews 4:12). That piercing is painful, particularly when it reaches the doctrines of men about biblical inspiration. Especially insidious is the rigid application of human logic to scripture. Logic is a wonderful tool when used in submission to the Holy Spirit. It is not Absolute Truth, however.
Often, however, people force the Bible into a rigid logical framework. An excellent example is the “literal interpretation of the Bible” as it arose in the late nineteenth century. This goes a quantum leap beyond reading the Bible according to its plain and obvious sense as I explained above. This is the mode in which people insist on a literal Creation. Tell me: Is this necessary for salvation? I don’t think so!
There are a half dozen scripture passages that say within the text of the passages themselves that they are stating what is most crucial: Jesus, Mark 12:28-31 (citing the Shema, Deuteronomy 6:4-5; and adding the “Golden Rule”, from Leviticus 19:18). Parallels in Matthew & Luke. the Apostle Paul, 1 Corinthians 15:3-4 and 15:12-19 (You’d do well to read the entire chapter) Acts 2:37-38 (Peter saying what we must do.) Micah 6:8 (one of the earliest Old Testament scriptures committed to writing) Hebrews 6:1-2 (backdoor statement – what you should already have nailed)
These few passages encompass all that is necessary for salvation. Others state it similarly but do not add anything. Now, in none of these passages, and nowhere in the Bible, it there any requirement that to be saved we must accept the literal doctrine of people are insisting on here.
All of the Bible is the inspired word of God, as I stated at the beginning. All of it must be taken seriously and taught in the churches. Individual churches might well expect internal agreement on such things. It makes a major difference, though, whether something is required for salvation.
That which is required for salvation is to be the basis for our unity as believers. We will differ on other things — the matter at hand being a case in point — but we must be united on that with is essential for salvation. Even more crucially, it must be what we focus on in our outreach to unbelievers.
Great numbers of apparently sincere people have taken what Christians say on this too seriously and concluded that, as they cannot accept the literal stories in Genesis, they therefore cannot be Christian, Of course, they’re throwing the baby out with the bath water, and the Lᴏʀᴅ will not allow them that as an excuse. Our God will also hold us responsible, however, for putting an unnecessary stumbling block in their paths (Luke 17:1-2).
Back off! Stop majoring in the minors. Stop dividing the body of Christ over a secondary issue such as this, and stop putting unneeded stumbling blocks in the paths of unbelievers.

So.. when we booked our trip to Bali we were intentional about going in the dry season, because just like most people we were craving some rays of sunshine. Imagine our surprise when on our first day, the streets in Ubud were practically flooded. It was coming down hard and non-stop!
However, we quickly managed to make the best of it and I’m honestly kind of appreciative of the ever changing weather now. Here are some tips I’d like to share with others who are disappointed or worried about (possible) rain.
1. Get yourself a rain poncho & umbrella
Unlike in Europe, rain doesnt mean strong winds or cold weather here. It really is just… water. You can easily manage it by wearing a poncho (theyre cheap!) and bring an umbrella. Wearing open shoes is also recommended.
2. Go sightseeing!
I swear the nature looks even more green in the rain. We visited Gunung Kawi Tampaksiring and we were literally the only people there. It was GORGEOUS. There are also fewer crowds when it’s raining, and some of the people visiting will tend to seek cover under a roof, waiting for the rain to go away.. but not you, because you came prepared with your poncho and umbrella!
Also: cloudly weather makes for much better photos. Any photographer will tell you that bright sunshine is not ideal at all. So grab your phone or camera and get out there!
3. Go swimming in the outside pool (if available)
Does your hotel or villa have an outside pool? Swimming in the rain can be such a fun experience! Be careful to not go in case of thunder though.
4. Get a massage or spa treatment
Speaks for itself.
5. Enjoy not having to use so much sunscreen
Honestly, Bali weather already makes me sticky as it is. I’m grateful for the cloudy days where I dont have to lather myself in sunscreen from start to finish.
6. Have a meal on the top floor of an open restaurant
There is something special about having a dinner, hearing the rain come down on the noisy roof, watching it pour down while you stay warm and dry enjoying your meal.
7. Appreciate that this is also part of Bali life
You came here for a true Bali experience, and unpredictable weather and heavy rain is simply a part of that. Of course the people you follow on Instagram only post pictures in the sun, because that looks more “ideal”. And maybe they didn’t experience rain at all, but Balinese people have to deal with whatever hand is dealt that day, and now so do you as a visitor.
8. Remind yourself that, while lying on the beach and getting a tan is fun, you didn’t come to Bali for just that (right?)
I’m assuming you didnt just come to Bali for a tan: maybe you wanted to see nature, have certain spiritual or religious experiences, learn more about the islands culture and history… you can do ALL THOSE THINGS while it’s raining. Visit a museum. Take a tour. Do a workshop. If you just wanted to lie in the sun, I’m willing to bet you couldve done that closer to home (Ibiza? Miami? Australia?).
I hope this helps someone feel less anxious about the rainy weather :).

16th December 1969;

Port Arthur, SCS;

One match was lit. That was all. One match was lit.
It was the standard Tuesday of dull affairs. Within one of the second-floor offices, a meeting was taking place, between a few dignitaries with such a variety of surnames as Smith, White, and MacDonald. All spoke with typical local accents. Their topic of discussion was about the threat that disorder placed upon the organisation, as it would attract media attention towards their doings, and their doings would naturally include the things they would usually hide. After the Battle of Labour Day, the building itself had to be hidden away, with relocation taking place quickly enough that operations were unaffected. Even still, many preferred the older building in North PA, one that had been built in a former law office, then combined with the houses either side.
Indeed, the new office was marvellous. It was constructed of red brick with concrete mixed in, and nominally held the offices for Consett Consultancy and Design Ltd., a lovely shell company that legally held the licences needed for operation of the more… active sides of the business. Such was the activity of the operation that it had been visited by police four times already, with the police knowing the four floors inside-out, with all of the alcoves and holes exposed within the fire-safety maps, as required by law. They covered their tracks by relocating documents - visits never came during the busy periods, with January the police’s favourite month. Buses stopped nearby, the exterior design was applauded for its modern design and tasteful application of new materials, and the head of operations inside the building, Arnaud Victoire, kept to himself.
There was always more to be done, and the room, Suite 304, was too lavish for myself to talk about. You can just imagine it instead, because it will fit every expectation of lavish that one may hold.
You can also just imagine it because I was not allowed inside, such was the secrecy.
Back to the other parts of the building, and the lobby on the ground floor - Suite 0 to be pedantic - was that waiting room for the many guests that visited, agents usually that were here to talk of the everyday they had experienced in their covering jobs. There was an air force captain, who knew many among the rank-and-file so kept them close by, talking of new military techniques; there was a former radio host, who had delved into newspapers, so had more of an idea about how stories were created; there were multiple civil servants, all in high places, and within the right areas to monitor the government’s activities, such as the recent benefits increase; and, there was one certain man within the Superior Transport Board, Donald Aumann, whose match that was.
With his pipe, Donald took to tobacco as any would. He dabbed a bit, then a bit more, into a teak pipe’s large aperture, before deciding that enough was enough. A small shake to level out the shavings inside the pipe, and the singular visitor inside of the lobby looked faintly upon him, slightly disapprovingly. For goodness sake, it was 1969, and this rich man still took to pipes? It was old hat from one in an old hat, symbolic of the old money that this SCS lacked, and Aumann preferred to exude the image. When called through by the receptionist, he was already holding that match. It struck the first time, the pipe was alight, before he took the chance to make his way through. That match was blown out, before being placed in a bin to dispose of the burnt remains, remains which remained glowing.
I do not see any harm in Aumann doing such a thing - by the time that the bin inside of the hallways caught fire, not a soul was around, because not many souls were at this time of year, with only 9 days until Christmas with all it entailed. That receptionist was ready to finish her day, as the night descended through Suite 0, so left as soon as he could. Besides, I was only there to greet a visitor as he finished for the day, and had told her as such. CCD Ltd was not too formal just yet, so when I peered inside of the hallway and saw quite an inferno, it was already too late. Ringing the fire bells and calling the engines round were all that I could do, and as the three-bakers-dozen inside of the building found themselves lucky to escape unto the roof, the glorious building found itself a burnt shell.
Once the police were called around, I had to give my statement, that Donald was probably not some agents, that he had probably not intentionally caused a fire. It was careless from him, and yet, I called for his innocence even still. There was no malice, no reason except stupidity, so why go too far? I knew many in the Monde Suffit who called him a spy for the Maple Leaf Society, and that German surname coupled with the unfortunate officials of ‘DA’ or ‘Double Agent’ as many called him, provoked quite a stand of fury inside of the Monde Suffit.
When I visited the remaining shell six days later, it was derelict, and the bulldozers were piling in. What used to be glorious red-brick was now charred, the concrete marked so heavily, the interior gutted. It was not safe, or so said those higher-ups, that the shell had protected those inside so well, and that a few… design flaws, related to the interior kitchenette, would have likely led to the entire structure going up more destructively by even that cold Monday morning.
In fact, I saw a gas explosion take place from about one-hundred feet back, bursting through the upstairs windows, taking even myself by surprise. What was left - those remaining cabinets, papers, ideas, and objects, left to ruin and left to waste, were all exposed to the elements, and all that remained was reduced by the new inferno to a new and charred business.
To say it clearly, I don’t think anything was lost.
Even still, it marked a turn, and even I, a worker upon the docks, can tell that something will ignite very soon.
It shall ignite, even if I witnessed the burning of the ashes.
{ DP to Air Training / Public Welfare / Industrial }

My (22M) relationship with my mother (57F) has been tumultuous to say the least. I don't know what to do but I'm still at a point where I can't get away (more or less my own fault) because she's made sure I don't have much freedom. She sabotages my attempts to get a license to drive (she always says she needs me for something when I want to practice) , and I stupidly gave her joint ownership of my bank account when I was a kid. And I can't be honest with her about how I feel. Literally the one time I was honest about how she made me feel she threatened to commit self-deletion and made me read her letter ( I was 16), knowing I had struggled with ideation in the past since I was 12.
I have spent my whole life trying to please her. I studied hard to be in all honors in middle school, and got accepted to a prestigious high school on a 3/4 ride, where I was in all honors there and in the top 1/3 of my class. I know that doesn’t seem impressive, but I had a 3.89 GPA and the top 1/3 had around a 4.0 GPA. I even almost graduated a year early because I skipped multiple years in a few subject areas. I just graduated from college with a bachelor's where I finished in 3.5 years. I wrote a publication and presented my research at a few conferences. She wanted me to go to law school, but I told her I didn't want to go, because I knew I'd be miserable. I expressed how I wanted to do research and get my PhD/PsyD. She seemed okay with that. I was even waitlisted at a few fully funded PhDs before I graduated, which was huge because I hadn't graduated yet and my work wasn't officially published yet either. I did everything in my power to make her proud and it never felt like it was enough for her. I remember my cousin and father (whom I have a very strained relationship with) being more excited about it. Something about that felt wrong to me. I'm not sure why. My mother very much is the narcissistic victim complex mother, or so my therapists say.
Now to the crux of the issue. I am one of five kids. Three are hers, two from my dad's first marriage. The issue comes from my younger brother (18 M). He's the baby, and my mom coddles him and has a relationship that I think is bordering on the emotionally incestuous. She will always defend him, even when she is at odds with him. He and I are like oil and water. We don't get along no matter how hard we try.
She talks more about him, spends more time with him, and does more things with him. And this sounds incredibly childish and jealous, but there were times where I felt like I wanted her to be my mom too. Even when I was doing all of that in highschool, his highschool play was more important than my art show at school, where I ended up getting an award for my paintings. I remember him being a pain During my highschool and my college graduations, he was borderline throwing fits and my mom didn't care about it.
Look, I'm not perfect either. I know that. I'm an asshole at times and I can be a bit much. I have been in therapy for a few years now doing the work to fix my anger issues, my attachment style , and my mental faults. I've been doing the work, and I am trying my best. Especially on giving myself more grace and patience with myself.
Ever since I graduated, she's been focused on making me miserable. She's hellbent on me working, and in addition to calling on me to do all the housework. There's also been a bit of her going out her way to demonize me when my brother and I argue/disagree, saying I'm the problem and the worst person in the house when the issues have been me asking my brother to not steal my clothes, or for him to do some of the chores because I'm exhausted and/or I'm doing something and she calls on me to do something else (EX. I'll be folding towels and she'll tell me to let the dogs out).
I've hit my breaking point. I was in the car with him and my older brother (31M) when there was an argument because I got tired of the biphobic remarks my older brother was making, and vented how the whole family does it and I was sick and tired of it. In my anger, I called my family some choice words, and I regret it now. The conversation, however, ended on a good note and my brother said hed do his best to respect the boundary I was now enforcing.
When we got home, my younger brother told my mother and sister (18F) what I called the family without any context of the convo to them with the sole intent of causing me grief. which led to my mother criticizing me again. My sister didn't really care, which I expected. She figured there was more to it that he left out. He had a smug grin on his face as he stared me down.
I spoke with my older brother about how I felt about this situation. I said that at this point, I'm done competing with my little brother and burning myself out for my mother. That in a game of me vs. My little brother that she would pick him over me any day of the week. Also that at the rate we are going, the wake up call for her would be not being invited to my wedding (should I find the one) or us simply never talking again. I said I wanted to post this on reddit for more advice because I think outside perspectives would be key here. My older brother agreed.
So the question is this. Would I be an asshole if I sat down with my mother and told her that we'd no longer have a relationship if things don't change?

​

Berfenw / Verb-noun	Ystyr / Meaning	Bôn y ferf / Verb stem
acennu	to accentuate, to stress	acenn-
achredu	to accredit; accreditation	achred-
adalw	to recall, to summon back, to revoke, to repeal	adalw-
ad-dalu	to repay	ad-dal-
ad-drefnu	to reorganise, to rearrange	ad-drefn-
adfeddiannu	to repossess, to regain	afeddiann-
adleoli	to relocate	adleol-
adlynu	to adhere	adlyn-
adsefydlu	to rehabilitate; to re-establish, to reinstate	adsefydl-
aduno	to reunite	adun-
adwerthu	to retail, to resell	adwerth-
afradloni	to waste, to squander, to spend extravagantly	afradlon-
angori	to anchor	angor-
ailadeiladu	to rebuild	ailadeilad-
aildrefnu	to rearrange, to reorganise, to restore	aildrefn-
ailddarganfod	to rediscover	ailddarganfydd-
ailddatblygu	to redevelop	ailddatblyg-
ailddefnyddio	to reuse	ailddefnyddi-
ailddosbarthu	to reclassify; to redistribute	ailddosbarth-
ailenwi	to rename	ailenw-
ailethol	to re-elect	ailethol-
ailfeddwl	to rethink, to change one's mind, to reconsider	ailfeddyli-
ailgartrefu	to rehouse, to rehome	ailgartref-
ail-greu	to recreate	ailgre-
ailsefydlu	to re-establish, to rehabilitate	ailsefydl-
ailstrwythuro	to restructure	ailstrwythur-
ailwampio	to revamp	ailwampi-
allbynnu	to output (in computing)	allbynn-
allforio	to export	allfori-
alltudio	to deport, to exile	alltudi-
allyrru	to emit, to give off	allyrr-
amaethu	to cultivate	amaeth-
amgodio	to encode (computing)	amgodi-
amgryptio	to encrypt	amgrypti-
amgylchynu	to surround, to encircle, to encompass	amgylchyn-
amharchu	to disrespect	amharch-
amlinellu	to outline, to sketch	amlinell-
amseru	to time, to date, to take your time	amser-
andwyo	to spoil, to ruin	andwy-
anesmwytho	to become or make uneasy, anxious or restless, to disturb, to disquiet	anesmwyth-
anfarwoli	to immortalize	anfarwol-
animeiddio	to animate (make an animation)	animeiddi-
anweddu	to evaporate, to vaporize, to produce steam	anwedd-
anwylo	to cuddle, to caress, to cherish, to endear	anwyl-
apwyntio	to appoint	apwynti-
aralleirio	to paraphrase, to reword	aralleiri-
arallu	to make changes, to alter; to alienate, to estrange	arall-
arddweud	to dictate (for transcription)	arddywed-
aredig	to plough	ardd-
arolygu	to survey, to inspect	arolyg-
asesu	to assess	ases-
atafaelu	to confiscate, to seize, to distrain	atafael-
atalnodi	to punctuate	atalnod
atgyfodi	to resurrect, to revive	atgyfod-
atodi	to append, to attach (document etc.), to add to	atod-
awdurdodi	to authorise, to empower	awdurdod-
awyru	to air, to ventilate, to aerate	awyr-
baldorddi	to talk nonsense, to babble, to prattle	baldordd-
beichio crio	to sob	beichi-
betio	to bet (money)	beti-
bigit[i]an	to provoke, to annoy, to pick a quarrel, to nag (De Cymru)
bipian	to bleep, to beep	bipi-
blaguro	to form buds, to put out shoots, to sprout	blagur-
blaseiddio	to flavour, to season	blaseiddi-
blingo	to skin, to flay	bling-
blysio	to crave	blysi-
bod gan rywun	to have, to possess
bod wrth eich bodd yn / gyda	to love, to be in one's element (doing / with)
bod yn edifar gan rywun	to regret
bod yn well gan rywun	to prefer
boddhau	to please	boddha-
boneddigeiddio	to gentrify; to ennoble	boneddigeiddi-
botymu	to button	botym-
braenaru	to fallow, to prepare for cultivation	braenar-
bragu	to brew (with malt)	brag-
brechu	to vaccinate, to inoculate	brech-
bridio	to breed	bridi-
britho	to go grey (of hair or beard), to dapple, to speckle, to fleck, to mottle	brith-
brodio	to embroider	brodi-
bronfwydo	to breastfeed
buddioli	to benefit, to profit	buddiol-
bwrw cenllysg	to hail (weather) (Gogledd Cymru)	bwri-
bwrw cesair	to hail (weather) (De Cymru)	bwri-
bwydo ar y fron	to breastfeed
byddaru	to deafen, to become deaf	byddar-
byrddio	to board	byrddi-
byrhau	to shorten, to abbreviate
byseddu	to finger	bysedd-
bywhau	to animate	bywha-
bywiocáu	to enliven
cadwyno (wrth)	to chain (to)	cadwyn-
caethiwo	to enslave, to addict	caethiw-
cafflo	to cheat (De Cymru)	caffl-
calchu	to lime	calch-
camdreiglo	to mutate incorrectly (grammar)	camdreigl-
camgymryd	to mistake	camgymer-
camsefyll	to be offside (in football, rugby etc.)
camymddwyn	to misbehave, to commit misconduct	camymddyg-
canlyn	to follow; to court	canlyn-
canoli	to centralize, to focus, to mediate	canol-
carco	to care, to take care of, to mind; to be thrifty (De Cymru)	carc-
cardota	to beg (for alms)	cardot-
carthu	to purge, to clean, to muck out animal dwelling	carth-
castio	to cast (especially in an acting part); to play tricks	casti-
catalyddu	to catalyse	catalydd-
cefnu ar	to turn one's back on, to forsake	cefn-
cenhadu	to propagate (message / faith), to conduct a mission, to proselytise	cenhad-
cenhedlu	to reproduce (offspring); to conceive (offspring)	cenhedl-
ceulo	to clot, to coagulate, to congeal	ceul-
ciwio	to queue	ciwi-
clatsio	to strike, to hit (De Cymru)	clastsi-
clatsio ymlaen	to crack on, to persevere (De Cymru)
clau	to clean (De Cymru)
clocsio	to clog dance; to make or repair clogs	clocsi-
clochdar	to cluck, to cackle, to boast
clodfori	to praise	clodfor-
cloffi	to become lame	cloff-
cloncan	to chat, to natter, to gossip, to prattle (De Cymru)	clonc-
clustnodi	to ear-mark	clustnod-
clwydo	to roost	clwyd-
clytio	to patch	clyti-
cnoi cil	to ruminate (chew cud, also figurative), to think over	cno-
coethi	to refine, to purify	coeth-
colledu	to cause loss to, to damage	colled-
conan	to grumble, to complain (De Cymru)
condemnio	to condemn	condemni-
costrelu	to bottle	costrel-
creithio	to scar	creithi-
cribddeilio	to extort, to plunder, to take by force	cribddeili-
cribinio	to rake (Gogledd Cymru)	cribini-
crisialu	to crystalize	crisial-
croeshoelio	to crucify	croeshoeli-
croesholi	to cross-examine, to cross-question	croeshol-
cronni	to amass, to collect, to gather (together), to accumulate; to dam up	cronn-
crosio	to crochet	crosi-
crychu	to wrinkle, to crimp	crych-
crygu	to stammer, to grow hoarse	cryg-
cuddio rhag	to hide from
cwmpasu	to encompass, to circumscribe	cwmpas-
cwnnu	to raise, to put up, to rise (= codi, o cychwynnu) (De-ddwyrain Cymru)
cwrcwd	to squat, to crouch	cwrcyd-, cyrcyd-
cydlynu	to cohere, to stick or cling together, to form a whole	cydlyn-
cydweithredu	to co-operate	cydweithred-
cydymffurfio	to conform	cydymffurfi-
cyfannu	to make whole or entire, to unite, to integrate	cyfann-
cyfanwerthu	to sell wholesale	cyfanwerth-
cyfeddach	to carouse (b) [unusually, this verbnoun is feminine]; carousal
cyfeilio	to accompany (with music)	cyfeili-
cyflyru	to condition	cyflyr-
cyfodi	(form of codi) to lift, to rise, to raise	cyfod-
cyfosod	to place together, to juxtapose, to combine	cyfosod-
cyfrodeddu	to intertwine, to twist together	cyfrodedd-
cyfrwyo	to saddle (horse)	cyfrwy-
cyffesu	to confess (especially religiously)	cyffes-
cyhwfan	to wave, to flutter, to heave	cyhwfan-
cylchdroi	to rotate, to revolve	cylchdro-
cymedroli	to moderate, to temper	cymedrol-
cymodi â	to reconcile with	cymod-
Cymreigio	to make (more) Welsh	Cymreigi-
cymudo	to commute (travel)	cymud-
cymynnu	to bequeath	cymynn-
cynllwynio	to conspire	cynllwyni-
cyplysu	to couple	cyplys-
cysegru	to consecrate	cysegr-
cysodi	to type-set	cysod-
cysoni	to regularize, to harmonize	cyson-
cystuddio	to afflict	cystuddi-
cywasgu	to compress	cywasg-
c[y]weirio (S)	to mend, to put in order	cweiri-
chwerwi	to become bitter	chwerw-
chwilfriwio	to smash to pieces, to shatter	chwilfriwi-
chwyldroi	to revolutionize	chwyldro-
chwyrlïo	to whirl	chwyrlï-
dadbacio	to unpack	dadbaci-
dadlaith	to thaw [out] (De Cymru)	dadleithi-
dadlennu	to uncover, to unveil, to reveal, to expose	dadlenn-
dadrithio	to disillusion, to disenchant, to restore to original shape or form	dadrithi-
dallu	to blind, to become blind	dall-
damsang (ar)	to trample (on) (De Cymru)	damsang-
darfudo	to convect (heat in physics)	darfud-
dargludo	to conduct (electricity, heat in physics)	darglud-
dargyfeirio	to divert, to redirect, to diverge	dargyfeiri-
datganoli	to decentralize, to devolve	datganol-
datgarboneiddio	to decarbonize	datgarboneiddi-
datglymu	to untie	datglym-
datgoedwigo	to deforest	datgoedwig-
datgomisiynu	to decommission	datgomisiyn-
datgymalu	to dislocate, to disjoint, to take to pieces, to disassemble	datgymal-
datsgriwio	to unscrew	datsgriwi-
dedfrydu	to sentence (in court)	dedfryd-
deddfu	to legislate, to enact, to decree	deddf-
dengid	(= dianc) to escape (Gogledd Cymru)	dihang-
deigrynnu	to shed tears	deigrynn-
delfrydu	to idealize	delfryd-
deor	to hatch (egg etc.), to hatch out; to brood, to incubate	deor-
deud	(= dweud) to say (Gogledd Cymru)
diarddel	to expell, to excommunicate, to disown	diarddel-
diarfogi	to disarm	diarfog-
diasbedain	to resound	diasbed-
dichon	(= gallu) to be able (formal)	dichon-
diddyfnu	to wean	diddyfnu-
diengyd	(= dianc) to escape (Gogledd Cymru)	dihang-
difrïo	to revile, to denigrate, to disparage	difrï-
difwyno	to spoil, to mar, to defile, to pollute	difwyn-
differu	to differentiate (calculus)	differ-
diffygdalu	to default (on debt repayment)	diffygdal-
digolledu	to recompense, to indemnify, to compensate	digolled-
diheintio	to disinfect	diheinti-
dihoeni	to languish, to pine, to fade away, to wither	dihoen-
dihysbyddu	to drain (liquid from), to empty, to exhaust	dihysbydd-
dinoethi	to strip, to make bare	dinoeth-
diosg	to take off (clothes / shoes), to undress, to strip; to divest, to cast off	diosg-
diota	to imbibe, to booze, to tipple
diraddio	to degrade; to dismiss	diraddi-
dirprwyo	to deputize, to appoint a deputy; to act as a delegate, deputy or representative	dirprwy-
distewi	to be, keep or become silent, to silence, to hush	distaw-
distrywio	to destroy	distrywi-
distyllu	to distil, to drip, to fall in drops	distyll-
diweddu	to end, to conclude, to finish	diwedd-
diwydianeiddio	to industrialize	diwydianeiddi-
dodwy	to lay eggs	dodw-
dogfennu	to document	dogfenn-
dreifio	to drive	dreifi-
dryllio	to break to pieces, to shatter, to wreck	drylli-
dweud y drefn wrth rywun	to tell someone off
dyddodi	to deposit (layer of sediment, fat), to precipitate	dyddod-
dyfeisio	to invent, to devise	dyfeisi-
dyfnhau	to deepen	dyfnha-
dyfrio	to water, to irrigate	dyfri-
dylunio	to design	dyluni-
dylynu wrth	to adhere to, to cling to	dylyn-
dynesu	to approach, to draw near, to come nearer	dynes-
echdynnu	to extract	echdynn-
eilio	to plait, to braid, to interweave; to compose (song or poetry)	eili-
eilio	to second	eili-
eilunaddoli	to idolise	eilunaddol-
eneinio	to anoint	eneini-
enllibio	to slander, to malign	enllibi-
eplesu	to ferment	eples-
euogfarnu	to convict, to find guilty	euogfarn-
euro	to gild	eur-
ewyllysio (i)	to will	ewyllysi-
ewynnu	to foam	ewynn-
ffansïo	to fancy	ffansï-
ffieiddio	to abhor, to detest, to loathe, to hate; to be digusted at, to be revolted by	ffieiddi-
ffromi	to be angry, to rage, to fume	ffrom-
ffrwtian	to splutter (also of engine)	ffrwti-
ffrwythloni	to fertilize (impregnate), to become or be fruitful	ffrwythlon-
ffyrnigo	to become angry or enraged, to grow fierce	ffyrnig-
gaeafgysgu	to hibernate	gaeafgysg-
galarnadu	to lament	galarnad-
gefeillio	to twin	gefeilli-
geirio	to express in words, to word	geiri-
gellwng	to allow to go, to let, to permit, to leave to, to release	gellyng-
glasu	to turn blue	glas-
gloddesta	to revel, to carouse, to feast; (g) revelry, carousal, feasting
glynu (at)	to stick (to), to glue	glyn-
godinebu	to commit adultery, to fornicate	godineb-
goddiweddyd	to catch up with, to catch fugitive, to overtake	goddiwedd-
gogoneddu	to glorify, to extol	gogonedd-
gohebu	to report, to correspond	goheb-
goleddfu	to slope, to slant; to modify (in grammar)	goleddf-
goresgyn	to gain possession of; to overcome, to defeat	goresgyn-
gori	to brood, to sit on eggs	gor-
gorlenwi	to overfill	gorlanw-, gorlenw-
gorweithio	to overwork, to cause to overwork	gorweithi-
gorwneud	to overdo, to exaggerate
graeanu	to grit (road etc.), to spread gravel over	graean-
grilio	to grill (food)	grili-
grymuso	to strengthen	grymus-
gwamalu	to be frivolous, to waver	gwamal-
gwangalonni	to lose heart, to become discouraged; to discourage	gwangalonn-
gwarafun (i)	to forbid, to prohibit; to prevent, to hinder, to deny; to begrudge, to resent	gwarafun-
gwarantu	to guarantee (a product etc. by agreement)	gwarant-
gwastatu	to level, to make level or even	gwastat-
gwawrio	to dawn	gwawri-
gwelwi	to grow pale	gwelw-
gwersylla	to camp	gwersyll-
gweu	to weave, to knit	gwe-
gweud	to say (= dweud) (De Cymru)	gwed-
gwledda	to feast, to revel	gwledd-
gwreichioni	to spark, to emit sparks	gwreichion-
gwrteithio	to fertilize (with manure, compost etc.)	gwrteithi-
gwrthdystio	to protest, to remonstrate; to give counter-evidence	gwrthdysti-
gwrthryfela	to rebel, to revolt	gwrthryfel-
gwrychio	to bristle	gwrychi-
gwyngalchu	to whitewash	gwyngalch-
hadu	to sow, to produce seed	had-
haeru	to insist, to assert, to allege	haer-
halltu	to salt	hallt-
hamddena	to spend time at leisure, to relax, to take respite	hamdden-
haneru	to halve	haner-
hunanasesu	to self-assess; self-assessment	hunanases-
imiwneiddio	to immunize	imiwneiddi-
impio	to graft; to implant; to (cause to) bud / sprout	impi-
inswleiddio	to insulate (in a technical sense)	inswleiddi-
integru	to integrate (calculus)	integr-
israddio	to downgrade, to demote	israddi-
labelu	to label	label-
llabyddio	to stone (cast stones at)	llabyddi-
llaesu	to slacken	llaes-
llafnrolio	to rollerblade	llafnroli-
llafurio	to toil, to labour, to strive	llafuri-
llanw	(=llenwi) to fill (De Cymru)	llanw-
llawenhau	to gladden, to make cheerful; to rejoice, to be cheerful	llawenha-
lleisio	to voice	lleisi-
llên-ladrata	to plagiarize	llên-ladrata-
llesgáu	to languish, to become feeble, to feel faint	llesga-
llethu	to overwhelm, to swamp, to stifle, to crush, to overpower	lleth-
llewyrchu	to shine, to give light, to gleam; to be successful	llewyrchu
llochesu	to harbour, to shelter	lloches-
lloffa	to glean	lloff-
lluniadu	to draw (in a technical sense)	lluniad-
llurgunio	to distort (facts, the truth), to mangle, to disfigure, to corrupt	llurguni-
llwydo	to turn grey, to go mouldy	llwyd-
llwyfannu	to stage (theatrical or musical performance); to appear on stage	llwyfann-
llwyo	to spoon out, to ladle out	llwy-
llyfnhau	to make smooth, to level, to polish	llyfnha-
llyfnu	to harrow; to smooth	llyfn-
llythyru	to correspond by letter, to write letters	llythyr-
maglu	to snare, to trap	magl-
magu pwysau	to put on weight
malurio	to smash (to bits), to pulverize	maluri-
manwerthu	to retail	manwerth-
marchogaeth	to ride a horse	marchog-
martsio	to march (to make a marching movement)	martsi-
masnachu	to trade	masnach-
medi	to reap, to harvest	med-
meddalu	to soften, to become soft	meddal-
meddyginiaethu	to medicate, to treat medically	meddyginiaeth-
meiddio	to dare, to venture, to presume	meiddi-
meindio	to mind, to care	meindi-
meintoli	to quantify	meintol-
meiriol	to thaw, to melt	meiriol-
melynu	to become yellow; to make yellow or golden	melyn-
melysu	to sweeten	melys-
melltithio	to put a curse on, to curse	melltithi-
mercheta	to chase wowen, to womanise, to flirt	merchet-
merlota	to go pony trekking
methdalu	to be bankrupt, to be insolvent; bankruptcy	methdal-
mewnfudo	to immigrate	mewnfud-
moduro	to motor, to drive	modur-
modylu	to modulate (in physics)	modyl-
moelyd	to overturn (turn vehicle etc. upside down), to topple (De Cymru) (from "ymhoelyd")	moel-
moli	to praise (in worship / adulation)	mol-
morgeisio	to mortgage	morgeisi-
morio	to voyage by sea, to sail	mori-
morthwylio	to hammer	morthwyli-
mudferwi	to simmer	mudferw-
mudo	to move, to migrate, to move something from one place to another	mud-
nadu	to prevent, to hinder, not to allow	nad-
naddu	to shape with a sharp tool, to chip (at), to hew, to whittle, to trim, to carve	nadd-
negyddu	to negate	negydd-
nodweddu	to characterize, to be characteristic of, to distinguish	nodwedd-
nychu	to become weak or feeble, to waste away, to pine; to make weak, to enfeeble	nych-
nyddu	to spin (wool, yarn), to wind, to twist	nydd-
odi	to snow (Gogledd-ddwyrain Cymru)	od-
odli	to rhyme	odl-
olynu	to succeed, to follow (in succession)	olyn-
optimeiddio	to optimize	optimeiddi-
paldaruo	to talk nonsense, to blather (Gogledd Cymru)	paldaru-
parablu	to utter, to say, to speak, to babble	parabl-
parlysu	to paralyse	parlys-
paru	to pair	par-
pasteureiddio	to pasturize	pasteureiddi-
peillio	to pollinate	peilli-
perffeithio	to perfect	perffeithi-
picedu	to picket	piced-
pilio	to peel	pili-
piltran	to potter about, to fiddle (Gogledd Cymru)	piltr-
pistyllio ['r glaw]	to pour with rain	pistilli-
plagio	to plague, to afflict, to annoy, to pester	plagi-
pledio	to plead (in law), to offer as excuse or justification	pledi-
plicio	to peel, to pluck (feathers), pluck stringed instrument	plici-
plisgo	to shell, to peel, to exfoliate	plisg-
plismona	to police, policing
plymio	to dive, to dip, to sound (for depth), to plunge (into); to plumb	plymi-
poblogeiddio	to popularize	poblogeiddi-
pontio	to bridge, to span	ponti-
portreadu	to portray, to represent	portread-
prinhau	to become scarce, to diminish; to make scarce, to restrict, to curtail	prinha-
priodoli	to attribute, to ascribe	priodol-
prisio	to price; pricing	prisi-
puro	to purify, to refine	pur-
pwrcasu	to purchase	pwrcas-
pwyllgora	to hold, frequent or attend committees
recriwtio	to recruit	recriwti-
rhacanu	to rake (De Cymru)	rhacan-
rhagdalu	to prepay	rhagdal-
rhagfynegi	to predict (in a technical sense)	rhagfyneg-
rhaglennu	to program; programming	rhaglenn-
rhamantu	to romance; to romanticize	rhamant-
rhechain	to fart	rhech-
rhefru	to babble, to rant, to scold, to complain	rhefr-
rheibio	to seize by force, to ravage, to plunder; to bewitch, to cast a spell on	rheibi-
rheoleiddio	to regulate (control indirectly through rules, processes or effects)	rheoleiddi-
rhicio	to score (a scratch or notch), to notch, to groove	rhici-
rhincian dannedd	to gnash / to grind teeth (especially from rage)	rhinci-
rhoid	(= rhoi) to give, to put, to place (Gogledd Cymru)	rhodd-, rhoi-
rhwydo	to net	rhwyd-
rhychu	to crumple, to crease, to wrinkle, to become rumpled; to cut trenches / furrows / grooves	rhych-
rhyfela	to wage war, to war	rhyfel-
rhynnu	to suffer from cold, to freeze; to cause to be freezing cold	rhynn-
saernïo	to fashion, to construct, to build (as an artisan; also figuratively)	saernï-
samplu	to select or capture samples (in a technical sense)	sampl-
sarnu	to trample on, to spoil, to spill	sarn-
sboncio	to bounce, to spring	sbonci-
sbrotian	to rummage, to nose about	sbroti-
seboni	to soap, to lather; to soft-soap, to flatter	sebon-
segura	to idle, to laze	segur-
sengi (ar)	to tread (on), to trample on	sang-
Seisnigo	to Anglicize	Seisnig-
selio	to seal	seli-
serennu	to shine like a star, to sparkle, to twinkle, to shine brilliantly, to dazzle	serenn-
sganio	to scan (in a technical sense e.g. with a machine)	scani-
sglefrfyrddio	to skateboard	sglefrfyrddi-
sglefrolio	to roller skate, to rollerblade	sglefroli-
sgleinio	to gleam, to shine (be or make shiny), to polish	sgleini-
sgrinio	to screen (for disease etc.)	sgrini-
sgriwio	to screw	sgriwi-
sgwrio	to scour (clean / polish by rubbing), to purge	sgwri-
siffrwd	to make a rustling sound, to shuffle (cards etc.)	siffryd-
sleifio	to wriggle, to steal past, to slink, to creep	sleifi-
sleisio	to slice	sleisi-
smentio	to cement	smenti-
snorclo	to snorkel	snorcl-
sodro	to solder, to fix firmly in place, to place firmly	sodr-
steilio	to style	steili-
stelcian	to skulk, to stalk, to prowl, to lurk	stelci-
stido bwrw glaw	to pour with rain (Gogledd Cymru)
stilo	to iron (De Cymru)	stil-
straffaglio	to struggle	straffagli-
stryffaglio	to struggle	stryffagli-
stwna	to potter about, to fiddle about
suro	to sour	sur-
swatio	to crouch, to squat; to cuddle, to snuggle (up) in bed	swati-
sychlanhau	to dry clean	sychlanheu-, sychlanha-
syflyd	to budge, to move, to stir	syfl-
syfrdanu	to stun, to stupefy, to amaze, to astound	syfrdan-
syrffedu	to suffer from a surfeit, to feel fed up, to overindulge, to be bored stiff	syrffed-
taeru	to insist, to assert, to argue, to disagree	taer-
taflunio	to project (an image)	tafluni-
taranu	to thunder, to sound with thunder	taran-
teilwra	to tailor	teilwr-
teneuo	to thin (out), to dwindle	teneu-
tirlenwi	to landfill	tirlenw-
tonni	to undulate, to form waves, to oscillate, to surge up, to fall in waves (of hair)	tonn-
traddodi	to deliver (verdict, speech, sermon); to hand down, to hand over, to transfer	traddod-
traethu	to talk, to narrate, to relate, to speak (publicly)	traeth-
trafaelio	to travel; to labour	trafaeli-
traflyncu	to guzzle, to gobble up, to devour	traflync-
trawsgyweirio	to change key, to transpose, to modulate (in music)	trawsgyweiri-
treiglo	to mutate (grammar); to roll	treigl-
treio	to ebb, to drain away	trei-
tresio bwrw glaw	to pour (thrash) with rain
tresmasu	to trespass, to encroach, to infringe	tresmas-
troedio	to tread, to step	troedi-
trosleisio	to dub, to do a voice-over	trosleisi-
trydaneiddio	to electrify	trydaneiddi-
trydar	to tweet, to chirp, to twitter	trydar-
tryledu	to diffuse (in physics and chemistry)	tryled-
trysori	to treasure	trysor-
twrio	to rummage, to burrow (= tyrchu, turio)	twri-
tyllu	to make a hole or holes [in], to dig, to bore, to drill, to perforate	tyll-
tyrru	to pile up, to amass, to throng	tyrr-
tystio	to testify, to witness	tysti-
unioni	to straighten, to put right, to redress	union-
wado	to beat, to strike (De Cymru)	wad-
wyna	to give birth to lamb, to lamb
ymbarchuso	to make oneself respectable, to become respectable	ymbarchus-
ymbellhau (oddi wrth)	to distance oneself (from), to go further away	ymbellha-
ymdoddi	to integrate (into society); to melt, to dissolve, to merge	ymdodd-
ymdrochi	to immerse oneself (in water, or figuratively), to bathe	ymdroch-
ymdynghedu	to swear an oath, to vow, to pledge	ymdynghed-
ymddiddan	to converse, to chat, to speak	ymddiddan-
ymfudo	to emigrate, to migrate, to move (house)	ymfud-
ymgeleddu	to care for; to cherish, to succour, to provide shelter / comfort / food	ymgeledd-
ymgodymu	to wrestle, to grapple	ymgodym-
ymgolli	to lose oneself	ymgoll-
ymgreinio	to grovel, to prostrate oneself, to wallow	ymgreini-
ymgrymu	to bow, to stoop	ymgrym-
ymgyfarwyddo	to get acquainted with, to familiarise oneself with, to get used to	ymgyfarwydd-
ymgynnull	to assemble, to congregate, to gather together	ymgynull-
ymhél â rhywbeth	to be involved with something	ymheli-
ymhelaethu	to elaborate, to expand on	ymhelaeth-
ymlwybro	to make one's way, to wander	ymlwybr-
ymofyn	to seek, to desire, to want	ymofynn-
ymrafael	to differ; to disagree, to quarrel, to wrangle	ymrafael-
ymresymu	to reason, to think logically, to argue	ymresym-
ymryson	to compete, to contend, to quarrel	ymryson-
ymsefydlu	to establish oneself	ymsefydl-
ymsuddo	to sink, to submerge, to immerse oneself	ymsudd-
ymwrthod	to abstain (from), to refuse, to reject, to forsake	ymwrthod-
ysgafnhau	to lighten (load, weight)	ysgafnha-
ysglyfaethu	to prey upon, to plunder	ysglyfaeth-
ysgwyddo	to shoulder	ysgwydd-
ysigo	to sprain, to buckle (distort)	ysig-
ystreulio	to rinse	ystreuli-
ystwytho	to make or become supple	ystwyth-

In the course of doing some research, I came across the following letter to the editor of The National Tribune, which was a powerful newspaper that focused on issues about Union veterans of the Civil War.
National Tribune – Page 3
May 28, 1885
Maine Soldier’s Home
A Comrade Wants the System of Religious Services Changed
TO THE EDITOR: Among the noblest benefactions of our Government are the National Homes for disabled soldiers and sailors. While these Homes are properly under military supervision, they are intended to furnish the inmates with all the advantages which are enjoyed in civil life, with as little of the irksome discipline of military life as is consistent with their orderly management. The Eastern Branch of the National Soldiers’ Home is at Togus, Maine, and an excellently conducted Home it is under its efficient Governor, Gen Luther Stephenson, Jr. There is a full military band, a large billiard hall, a bowling alley, a reading room, and a library well supplied with books and periodicals, and a large amusement hall for the pleasure and diversion of the inmates. Regular religious services are also held, and it is in connection with these services that the management of the Home seems very inconsistent with the beneficent intention of the Government. As Americans we permit no established church to tax us, no creed to enslave us. We do not hold that one set of religious belief is exclusively true, and yet at Togus the entire Protestant service is restricted to one form – that of the Episcopal Church; but more than three-fourths of the Protestants in this Home have been accustomed to the Congregational form of worship, and for obvious reasons fail to find either pleasure, inspiration or consolation under the Episcopal form.
Last October Gen Stephenson invited four clergymen of different denominations to take charge of the religious services of the Home, each a month in turn, three of them being of churches observing the Congregational form of worship and the fourth of the Episcopal Church. Under this arrangement, during the ministration of the clergymen representing the Congregational form of worship, the attendance almost quadrupled and there was a marked improvement in the daily conduct of the veterans. This arrangement proving eminently satisfactory not only to the inmates of the Home, but also to the local officers, there is naturally a deep feeling of dissatisfaction now that a change has been made, the Board of Managers having appointed the Episcopal clergyman (who is particularly dull and uninteresting), the sole Chaplain, and the question is asked why, when the Government can without any additional expense furnish religious instruction to all classes, it should impose upon the great majority that which is repugnant to them. There are not more than 20 inmates of the Home who are adherents of the Episcopal Church, and the larger number of those who have been brought up under other forms of worship regard it as a great injustice to be thus deprived of congenial religious services. Why should a form of worship be imposed upon these soldiers which they dislike? Is this the way to interest them in religion and improve their minds and morals? They were maimed and disabled to establish the principle of free government and to redeem others from the curse of tyranny, and is their right to worship God according to their own consciences to be disregarded and they themselves be made the victims of an exclusive system of faith? In restricting the form of worship to that of the Episcopal Church, the Board of Management necessarily commits a wrong by infringing upon the rights of those who do not believe in that form. Whether they are to blame depends on their means of knowledge and the fairness with which they use them. It is to be hoped that the facts of the case being brought before their attention, they will take immediate steps to restore the arrangement which was proving so beneficial and satisfactory to the parties most concerned. – SIMPLE JUSTICE, Augusta, Me.

Umm… it’s a long story I guess. TL/DR at the bottom.
Sometimes I really want to divorce. But I also really don’t. I do love my husband a lot and we have had such incredible times together and built a really amazing life. I don’t want to leave it all behind, to start over with someone new, blow up my life and start with literally nothing, but man am I hurting right now. I feel so lonely in my marriage that sometimes I feel like it would just be easier to actually be alone. I don’t like how I’m being treated and I don’t like that I’m asking for bare minimum and not even getting that. Sometimes I feel like I am growing up and outgrowing him/our dynamic and things feel stagnated (I want kids, he wants to drink and party).
My husband (30M) and I (29F) have hit a rough patch, except I’m not even sure if it’s just a rough patch anymore or if we are truly falling apart. Together for nearly 6 years, married for 3. It makes me sick to think about because I feel as if my husband is a totally different person now. I’m so confused because our relationship has never ever felt this wrong or hurtful, I used to believe our love was so healthy and nurturing; my husband used to communicate and be open and loving and now he’s just passive aggressive (he’ll even admit it), hot/cold and mean to me.
He has said some very hurtful things but will never take accountability or apologize for what he has said to me, he often times will spin things around and blame me for all the ways I’m hurting him and never acknowledge what I have come to him with; like I will raise a concern and somehow by the end of it, I’m left apologizing while my feelings were never acknowledged. Or he just goes “ok!?” Like ok so what??? A lot of DARVO and defensiveness, he will twist my words and insist I said something when I know I didn’t. If I call him out, I just get a “sorry I misspoke” from him. If I tell him he hurt my feelings, he says it’s a me problem. That he has no problems. That I should just be happy and move on. In his mind, we wake up the next day and be happy and all is well because we choose to be better (ok sure, fine) but with no apology or repair attempts, I have a hard time “just moving on”. It’s hard to forgive a person that can’t even admit they hurt you or show remorse for how they have done so. I have gone to bed sobbing next to him and it’s never brought up or talked about the next day and he wonders why I’m growing distant. He has zero compassion and empathy for my feelings and I feel really alone in that.
Last year, we were long distance for the whole year (military). Our fights started in September when I went to visit and I felt he was disrespecting me, mocking me, not taking me seriously, disregarding my suggestions in front of our friends. One night, he started picking fights with me at a bar and insisted we go home “because I wasn’t having fun”. I never expressed that, though the bar scene is not my thing, I still went with him and our friends and was enjoying our time. I told him to go have fun, dance, hang out and I’ll enjoy my drink. He kept saying I wasn’t having fun and we needed to leave and I kept insisting I was totally happy to just be there (that was the truth). A lot of times he will project his own interpretations of my feelings onto me and assume he knows what I’m thinking/feeling without asking. We left that night without our friends and grabbed dinner on the way back to the hotel, except he completely ignored me and stonewalled me the entire time. I tried to make conversation but took the hint, let him know I don’t feel welcome in this interaction since he wasn’t engaging in return, and that I was going back to the hotel alone since he clearly didn’t want me there. His defensiveness is usually cold and silent, he has admitted that he “stonewalls me because he’s done talking with me”. He refuses to talk a lot of the time or will say there’s nothing he wants to talk about.
After I had come back home, our fights continued. I asked him a handful of times to please send me the pics we took on our vacations and it took him over a month of me reminding him to please just do it. Finally he became angry and BLEW UP on me and sent them, only half, and I reminded him that there’s more and he spit back at me “THAT’S ALL I HAVE, WE’RE NEVER TAKING PICTURES ON MY PHONE AGAIN” when I knew there were more. What a stupid, petty thing to get mad at me over?
Another time, he completely disappeared on me for 3 whole days and I hardly heard a word from him. I knew exactly where he was (drunk in his dorm playing video games, on a complete bender with his friends online, only taking breaks to go to work drunk/hungover and come back to drinking again). I attempted to reach out, say hi, stay connected, because I feel that’s important long distance? To make an effort to communicate? Because we have a responsibility to each other? I don’t feel like I’m asking for much here, but he was just gone for 3 days. When I finally heard from him and let him know how hurt I was because I felt like he didn’t have time for me (I have often felt second to his online friends, I spent a year and a half going to bed alone and existing without him because he would stay up drinking with them), all he said was “sorry sometimes I just fuck off into my own world”. Like dude you have a wife that you need to be involved with too? I have a really big problem with his drinking and his online life as it’s taken a higher priority over me a lot of times. For a long time, all I saw him do was go to work, come home, drink and game.
Between September to now, things have only spiraled and gotten so much worse. In January, we moved abroad. I knew it would be a hard adjustment for me as I’ve never left home, am incredibly close to my family and overall just a big change, plus I had all my luggage and our two pets to drag through airports and onto flights with. I needed help. I wanted to do it together, as husband and wife, I wanted his support and for us to be doing this new thing in life together… except I had to BEG him to come pick me up. I knew I would need him as my heart was aching over leaving home. There was so much resistance from him though, he said I’d be fine and to just meet him at our next duty station. That it’s such a big waste of time and money to come get me from Asia (he gets a free flight home though??), just to fly back to Asia. Then he started talking about going home to his home state before our move, to see friends and family, and I asked, ok so if you’re in the states already, why not just come up to me and pick me up and we go to Japan together (also, he has time and money to go them but not for me?)? At this point he came unglued and hysterical, insisting again how it’s a waste of time and money and who is going to pay for him to go home? Me? (I’m like, wtf why would I pay for you to go party but you can’t make time to pick me up for a big transition???) he let me know how much I frustrate him and honestly the whole fight just turned into something so bizarre and vague, I wondered what we even were fighting about anymore (as often is the case). I was sobbing and so hurt that he clearly wasn’t choosing me when I needed him, and we fell silent on the phone while I just cried and cried. All he could say was “yeah I know you’re pissed at me”.
Since moving, our sex life has completely declined (my fault). I’ve been depressed, stressed, tired and honestly so hurt by him that I don’t want to have sex with him, especially when he won’t even acknowledge that he has hurt me or apologize. That’s not someone I want to be intimate with. So I have rejected him a couple times, letting him know I’m feeling really insecure about us. I have tried SO HARD to not reject him because I know how hurtful it is, and sometimes in the past, I was just tired. Not in the mood. It doesn’t happen frequently at all (maybe 3 times in our time together), and the times I have said no, he literally will throw himself over in a tantrum like manner and it’s so gross and childish to me. Now, since things have gotten worse, he just goes cold. He told me that if it weren’t for us being married, my couple of times saying no recently would’ve been enough for him to be done with me. And that hurts, because not once has he even attempted to ask what’s wrong, why am I feeling this way, what can we do differently, how is my heart? He can throw everything away over that without even talking to me first? I told him I’m straight up depressed/homesick and having a hard time since moving, not to mention our lack of connection, and he never expressed concern, only his hurt feelings for how rejected and ugly he feels because I won’t have sex with him. He makes weird, off handed snarky comments about how he sometimes “considers going to the gym and getting in shape just to attract some attention and that he never would do that, but he’s thought about it”. The weird comments have happened here and there over a few subjects, leaving me dead in my tracks thinking “what the fuck was that? Where did that comment even come from?”
I have begged him to meet me half way outside of the bedroom, because I don’t feel emotionally connected anymore and that we really need help, and he’s still so dumbfounded that I won’t have sex even though I’ve clearly laid out the ways in which I’m hurting and feeling like we are falling apart. I can’t even remember the last time he told me he loved me first, that he appreciates me, is proud of me, feels lucky to have me, but he used to say those things.
At one point, I wrote him a very long, heartfelt letter stating exactly what was hurting me and why I was feeling the way I am. He read it and didn’t speak to me or even look at me for a week. LITERALLY. When he finally responded (opposite shifts and never any time to talk, a lot of our conversations have been letters or texts lately, because there’s no time/we never see each other and our in person fights derail anyways), he told me he “read my note and felt nothing and that he didn’t care, but knows that he should care so he’ll consider how he should feel.”
I have asked for counseling, to which he insisted he was never going to do again because it’s just a crying/shit-on-the-husband-fest (he is divorced once, I assume he went with his ex), he told me there’s nothing wrong with him, he doesn’t need someone telling him how to live his life, he’s happy with who he is and will not go to counseling. I told him it’s not an option anymore and so we went once (didn’t go well) and he reminded me more than once how stupid it was. I told him I want a husband that has a growth mindset and someone who is wanting to work on things with me, who takes me seriously when I say we need help, someone who is open to talking and communicating. He took offense that I don’t think he’s growth minded because of his spiritual journey and personal growth but I asked him, how are you showing up as a husband? He tells me “we don’t need to be checking in and talking about things”.
He says I’m trying to change him and want him to be different (because I’ve asked him for help around the house but he doesn’t see the mess the same so it doesn’t matter to him? But to me it does because it’s his mess too and we exist together, therefore we both need to be making an effort? I have taken on 90% of the household chores for a while now and let him know I need help and suddenly he’s saying I’m trying to change him and asking him to “put on his husband mask”, what does that even mean?????) I’ve asked him to attempt to speak my love language more (touch and words), as there’s hardly any intimacy between us (no hand holding, cuddling, hardly any affection outside the bedroom) and that’s asking him to be someone he is not?? Because he’s not touchy feely? He will slap my ass or grope my boobs (huge pet peeve and I’ve expressed that) and when I ask him for a hug instead, there’s push back? He gets mad and guilts me when I won’t drink with him (I don’t need or want to drink every night at home, sorry). One time he was poking and pinching at my sides and I asked him not to as it was making me uncomfortable (struggling with binge eating at the moment) and he got irritated and defensive because “he’s just playing and why can’t I have fun”.
Through all of this, I feel like I am the one saying I want to work on things, I love him and our life and let’s do better, let’s fix things, let’s grow together, I’m the one still making an effort to bridge the gap even though we are hurting, and all I’m hearing from him are all the ways he doesn’t like me: he thinks I’m boring (because I won’t drink with him), that I can’t do anything for him that he doesn’t do for himself (yes he literally said this, what do I even offer him?), that he fell in love with me for my independence and what am I doing now? (I uprooted my entire life and moved to another country to support him, I got a job within 2 weeks of being here and have since secured a government position, I’ve bought and paid off a car in 3 months, I go out and travel in a country where I can’t even speak the language, made friends, and he says I’m not independent?? WTF), that he doesn’t need me or this relationship and only fears I’m wasting his time. He can’t think of a single thing he appreciates about me (his words) when I feel I have given up everything and bend over backwards for him to care for him and our relationship. I really feel he doesn’t like me or respect me, but he’ll say he wants me around. He insists I don’t love him or like him, but I feel that is his own projection onto me. We are long distance again and I have expressed multiple times that it’s important to me to stay engaged and check in at least once daily, to say hi, and I’ve been doing that despite being incredibly busy myself, but he ghosts me constantly and is hardly reciprocating effort. I have hardly heard from him in a month, despite my efforts (I’m starting to feel like a damn fool by continuously reaching out, if I don’t text, we don’t talk, I’m tired of the games and have since pulled back but that feels so shitty to even have to do???). I want someone that WANTS to say hi to me and see how I’m doing???
I don’t feel I have a friend in him, as he never asks about me, my life, my inner world, what’s going on with me, does not express interest in my new jobs, new friends etc, when I am constantly interacting with his world and engaging with him. I have expressed to him I feel like I am his friend but he is not mine because he doesn’t express an interest. We do a lot of what he wants and not a lot of what I want.
I told him I want to go home for my 30th birthday in July (it’s a big deal to me!) and I asked him to meet up with me in my state (he will already be in the states for a work trip). He told me he doesn’t want to come hang out with me on my birthday and was instead thinking of going to a big get together with his online friends in a different state to party and drink with them. That really hurt me. Do I not matter to him at all???
I have a big problem with his drinking (he has driven drunk at least 3 times that I know of, 2 of which I was in the car with him, once my family was also involved), I have expressed my concerns about his drinking and he says “I don’t think it’s a problem”. I told him I don’t want our future kids thinking it’s ok to wake up and pop open a beer for breakfast every day and he dismissed it.
We are not agreeing or seeing eye to eye on our next 5-10 years together: we want kids, but I want to be in the states closer to home so we can have our families be involved with our kids too, meanwhile he wants to live abroad as long as possible and retire out of the military overseas. He wants nothing to do with his family and doesn’t care to be close to them. I knew this, and thought I would be ok with it, but I’ve since realized that it’s actually really important to me to have our families involved and not be on the other side of the world at the moment. We can’t find a way to meet in the middle on this, but I don’t want to be this far away for too long (current trajectory is 3-7 years). He says he isn’t sure if he can compromise because he’s always done for others and not himself. Meanwhile, I feel like: maybe you should’ve thought about that before getting married? Aren’t your spouse’s feelings enough to move you in a direction that would be fulfilling for both of us, not just yourself? I agreed to 4 years overseas when I really didn’t want to, and now that I’m asking that we go home after, now it’s an issue?
We went to a marriage retreat that only further revealed what I have been hurting and expressing concern about: that I don’t feel connected and that we need to be digging deeper and investing more into our relationship. I cried so hard when we returned from that retreat and all he could tell me was how frustrated he was that he took us there only for me to come home and cry about it.
He is ok with pushing my boundaries and disregarding my feelings: example of this a couple months ago, I let him know multiple times and many hours in advance we had dinner reservations (we need to leave by 7). He gets ready around 630. I tell him, ok time to go. He says, just 5 more minutes (on his pc gaming and drinking). I say, ok it’s been 5 minutes, let’s go. He says, wait just another minute. 20 minutes pass and I’m now visibly irritated and telling him, I’m leaving, now we’re going to be late. He gets pissy and storms behind me, I let him know that it’s really important to me to be on time for things and I felt really disrespected by him making us late. He told me with attitude that “it’s fine” and it’s “not a big deal because we’ll still be there and we’ll get there when we get there”.
In the store, I will ask for his input on groceries and he will mutter under his breath to leave him alone, only to admit later that he did that and it was disrespectful: but just as an admittance and matter of fact, nothing more, like he’s ok with disrespecting me and declaring it??
Honestly there’s still so much to this, but it’s getting long - bottom line, I just really feel he doesn’t respect me or like me. I don’t feel like he loves me as a husband should or how I envision a marriage to be. I feel a lot of disinterest and complacency. I wonder if he could ever even properly be there for me in the ways I would want my husband to be (what happens when my dog or parents die, is he just going to dismiss my feelings then too and tell me to get over it? He is very emotionally avoidant, numb and dismissive). I don’t feel loved, supported, heard or understood, I feel so incredibly lonely in our marriage. I feel I am reaching a breaking point and it hurts deeply. He was NEVER like this, our relationship used to be so good and I have no idea what happened or why things changed but I am deeply unhappy now and don’t see a way forward with an unwilling partner who will not participate or sees nothing wrong. I deserve better and I want a husband and partner in life that is just as invested and just as loving and interested in me and willing to grow, as I am to him. I’m a damn good wife and I know that, I know what I have to offer, and I want someone that sees that and appreciates that. I feel my husband is very childish and immature and emotionally unavailable, I have wondered but whether or not he is manipulative doesn’t really matter and I don’t think labels are helpful, at this point all I know is I’m hurting and this isn’t working for me.
Of course this is only my side of the story, and no I have not been perfect. I have found myself in a dark, contemptuous state of mind towards him and tried my best to turn that around and reflect and do things differently. I am reading books, listening to podcasts, going to counseling, trying to model to him real apologies (sincerely too). He will say that I criticize him (I do have a harsh start up at times but have since tried to communicate softer and take more responsibility for my feelings and not find fault in his actions), that I want him to be someone he is not (he says I want him to put on a husband mask??), that he feels ugly and rejected because I won’t have sex with him, that I’m hurting him (but I’m honestly confused as to how because he can’t give specifics when I ask how or what I can do differently).
Sometimes I just feel so done with this and like it’s not worth it. I gave up everything to be in another country with him, I gave up friends, family, a career that I wanted to pursue, EVERYTHING, and this does not feel worth the pain I am feeling being so far away from the things that bring me joy outside of him. I feel deeply unfulfilled day to day.
We used to be so happy. He was so sweet and nurturing and cared for me, took interest in me, prioritized me. We had a wonderful life and home together, supported each other’s dreams and desires, used to communicate openly without defense or combative behavior. This is so left field for him/us that it’s left me deeply confused and feeling so much ambivalence. I used to feel #1 to him and now I just feel like his roommate.
Jesus this is long, if you read it and have any advice, thank you. I feel so alone in these feelings and don’t want to dump on my family and friends more than I have already. I am in individual counseling and that helps but I just needed to get it out of me and into the void.
TL/DR: basically I feel like I started challenging some bad behaviors and speaking up when my feelings were hurt (previously I guess I was the “cool girl” and chill and wouldn’t speak up and now I have resentment), and our relationship has become toxic. I am constantly torn between should I stay or should I go? I really don’t have much optimism anymore as my husband will spin things around and blame me, and I’m really not trying to act like a victim here, but he doesn’t take accountability or step up into being a leading man or husband and I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting, feeling sad, being long distance from my family and life in what feels like a failing marriage and not feeling like I’m being met half way on repairing/moving forward in a healthy manner.

Debating divorcing my wife. I’m 34m she’s 34f no kids and neither want kids. I’ll try to keep this concise as I can, I’m not sure what to do, all my friends and family I know who’ve been through this type of deal… bringing it up could upset the apple cart should I decide not. My family is catholic so divorce is a no no, but if it’s the best course I’ll pursue it as I m not, and already the black sheep. the animal subs and relationship subs are murky on all this.
Long story short I met my now wife when we were teenagers through a mutual friend she used to date in school. They split, but we stayed cordial/friendly when we ran into each other around town, college etc. in our late 20s we found each other on a dating site and had similar interests/life goals and started dating. We used to adventure, while her social abilities/requirements for day to day are much lower than mine,she didn’t mind I was an extrovert to her introvert, cause the big events we were together. We got serious just before the pandemic, and during the limited social engagement of the time it worked out. We did the occasional outdoor big event because of our jobs. I bought a house in a lower middle class neighborhood with her input but no financial input, granted I had a conversation with a mortgage co rep and I’m not sure what her status on the house is as it was years ago during newly wed bliss idk if she’s added to the mortgage or just an authorized user. Will that matter as I bought it as a single man? She didn’t help with down payment or any of the financials til we got married beside paying me to help with bills while she moved in even then aside from a few pieces of furniture she hasn’t paid for repair or anything big on the house.
We got married at the end of lockdown in 2021 out of state where it was a quick only invite immediate family in a small “chapel” type deal. My family is huge and complicated and religious despite me being not, and her family is small and slightly religious. Only two people showed up for the short notice wedding, one buddy of mine and his wife as the announcement and invite was very short notice.
Things started off good. The first 6 months of marriage was good besides the credit card debt, but neither of us expected inflation to go so out of control. We and I especially overspent on the first six months between the honeymoon, our living expenses, and a small vacation I ended up in almost 20k in debt assuming the economy would even out she has about 10k plus her car. She lost her good job that paid as much as mine and now makes considerably less after we spent most of our lives together earning about the same.
We wanted a pet, I’ve preferred cats, she liked a dogs more than cats, I preferred cats but didn’t hate dogs. She ended up getting a bisalp over me getting a vasectomy at the time because of our jobs insurance, so I let her take the lead on pet adoption. We adopted a mixed breed hound from the shelter, turns out the dog is 100% hunting purebred, and has been a nightmare since. He grew 35lbs since we adopted him and ended up being about 90lbs. She can’t afford training and neither can I. Im too soft spoken as a person for the dog to respect me, he’s is a nightmare on walks and after having issues with feeling like he will tear my shoulder, and sit in the middle of the road before the walk is done early I can’t walk him. This dog requires expensive limited ingredient food, trazadone to the tune of about 25$ a month, and allergy meds.
It’s been nearly 3 years since we adopted this dog, and our quality of life has degraded severely, mine more than hers. When I got Covid a few months after we adopted him, I stayed in the basement to avoid giving it to my wife, so now when one of us goes into the basement (supposed to be my game/music area) He freaks out. I’m now forced to either listen to him howling, or stay on the main floor where there’s not enough room for my gear. In fact just me playing my preferred instrument of choice without an amp drives the dog up a wall, I’ve barely played music since we adopted him, unless the dog is sound asleep or medicated I have a hard time playing. I spent my teens/20s playing music and was looking forward to playing again once I had a bit of stability. Between him being him, and my wife working nights music is off the table unless I can find a way to set a small non amp setup in the cramped guest bed. He’s attempted to bite multiple visitors, we’ve finally figured out how to let him be cool with a singular visitor but it’s a process with treats. Having an open house with multiple people is out of the question. My friends never want to come over, one even mentioned that in the early days he was strapped and was ready to pull, as calming him down was a struggle behind the gate.he’s better with single guests, we haven’t had a group since we adopted him besides once and he wasn’t allowed downstairs where we played games, and was restricted by a gate.my wife has mentioned she won’t give him up to a shelter as with his aggression and abuse from his first owner his going to be a problem to adopt out, and will likely get put down.
She can’t afford to pay her bills and send them to training, I can’t on principle try sending them to training with our house needing the ac fixed and electrical work done, as well as the gutter and roof needing repair soon. The dog sends my anxiety through the roof, tires both of us, and has a huge negative impact on our sexuality.
Today for example I spent 45 minutes talking to a neighbor two houses down, and the dog lost it as I wasn’t in view and a stranger shows up on our porch. My wife was mad that I spent 45 minutes talking to a neighbor about the neighborhood and life in general, as well as the bank owned house nearby and changed made since it became bank owned, typical neighbor stuff. She also suggested I don’t go on a boys weekend to a cabin down south as the only dog sitter we have is her father with no license, and getting him to watch him two weekend in a row was unlikely so I should just choose one. If I go the route of it’s the dog or me, I’m 99% sure it’ll mean our divorce now or soon, but I love my wife, just hate the dog, the thought of losing my home, my wife keeps me going back to how long can the dog lives before he dies of natural causes? Because losing this house isn’t an option, he’s not evil just abused an reacting, I love my wife and if waiting 5 years and putting up with this over starting from scratch could be worth it. I’m lost, scared, and mad, getting a mediocre job in my 30s was supposed to lead me to stability and with no kids maybe early or at least actual retirement and travel . Instead I have to ask permission to take a weekend trip, be not at home when he needs his meds and my wife can’t administer. It’s scary that being single seems better than being with a woman I love because her baggage (the dog and not being so career driven) means we can’t enjoy our 30s or bank as much retirement. I’m not rich by any means I only make 50k in gym 30. I’m just lost.

First of all, a premise which is the reality of today but 99% of the public is blissfully ignorant of.
The economy collapsed in 2008. Since then, the entire thing has been propped up completely artificially with Federal Reserve money. The Fed has literally bought half the stock market and bought out bad mortgage debt to keep asset prices high. This is a "we owe the money to ourselves" situation, but it's also a "if we don't keep making the system work this way, it will fall apart". So it's not a matter of running out of money to "borrow", it's a matter of at some point things stop working and inflation takes off.
If you are confused about this, here you go:
Assets: Total Assets: Total Assets (Less Eliminations from Consolidation): Wednesday Level (WALCL) FRED St. Louis Fed (stlouisfed.org)
This graph is insane. I studied it in college in 2010 when the 2008 "blip" was like niagara falls in reverse. You have to actually be a mentally ill sycophant to look at it now and think everything is fine.
Anyway, when the Federal Reserve "bought" the global economy on credit in 2008, it didn't just give the money away. Its helicopter bux came with a mandate.
First "are there like any academic studies that demonstrate what you're claiming?" Yeah.
Corporate social responsibility and financial stability: evidence from the Troubled Asset Relief Program Emerald Insight
For you zoomers and Daily Show watching nitwits, more here: Obama Plans Financial Triage for Bad Bank Troubled Assets :: The Market Oracle ::
Keep in mind the financial sector bailout was started by Bush, but he was basically working hand in glove with Obama at that point, and then Obama took over and greatly expanded it. Reddidiots can't wrap their brains around what this was: a government takeover of the financial sector.
I remember reading that federal bail out money came with strings attached. I think this has been scrubbed from the internet, even the Russian search engine can't find anything (google is less than worthless by the way). But there was this:
Obama limits bailed-out bank CEO pay - MarketWatch
So we do see some reporting that the bail out money came with strings, and in a similar manner to Dodd-Frank, Wall Street was easily able to get around the ones that actually hurt.
Still, the fact of the matter is that when we hear about BlackRock and so forth, where companies like Disney WASTE 100s of millions of dollars OVER and OVER again on films they know piss off their audience, no one can make sense of why this is happening. Until you realize that BlackRock is the primary broker for the Fed.
Remember when the Fed bought half the stock market?
How Larry Fink’s BlackRock Is Helping the Fed With Bond-Buying - Bloomberg
Now we have to look at another tentacle of the Obama-Bush era octopus. Behavioral science.
Obama’s effort to ‘nudge’ America (politico.com)
Governments are trying to nudge us into better behavior. Is it working? - The Washington Post
Obama's Nudge Brigade: White House Embraces Behavioral Sciences To Improve Government (forbes.com)
Corporate America also employs "nudge" units.
Lessons from corporate behavioral-science units McKinsey
First the basics of what's wrong with behavioral science:
Behavioural Science at its Worst – The Daily Sceptic
But here is a good breakdown of practical nudging and a peak into the HELL of behavioral science's brave new world:
Nudge Theory: The Psychological Trick Influencing Your Behavior - Goalcast

Setting A Default Option
Typically, people won’t deselect a default option to choose something else. So when a certain option is intentionally selected as the default, this increases the chances that people will “choose” it, just like the organ donation example described above.
Making Certain Options Easier Or Harder To Select
This one depends on the level of ease when choosing certain options. For this nudge, either the so-called “good” option is easier for people to choose or the so-called “bad” option is harder to choose. This steers people toward selecting the good option.
Making Certain Options More Noticeable
Another way nudging can encourage people to choose a good option over a bad one is to make the good option more noticeable or the bad option less noticeable. This attracts people’s attention toward the good option, making them more likely to select it.

And here we come to an anecdote.
I have rich parents. They bailed me out of my last semester of college because I lost my scholarship because of having bad grades in my second to last semester because a girlfriend faked a pregnancy before being committed (more like she quit work to spend a year with her parents) with a b-series disorder. I didn't live in poverty growing up, and I was able to go on a couple family trips to disney world - I'm grateful - but my parents' success never bought me anything in life. I never used their connections, they never paid for more than a few clothes from JC Penny. I went through college on a scholarship and they demanded I work too.
When I started working, I paid them back with my first six months of surplus savings. Just to make it clear when I say I had rich parents.
My sister is a basket case with drugs and other things. They pay everything for her. She basically has a venmo recurring payment, though it's only recurring in practice since there's always some new bullshit she's charging like a sick dog, running over a tree, forgetting to pay a fee and incurring late charges, and insane wastes of money you haven't even heard of.
Anyway, paypal, zelle, venmo, her bank account. Every 6 months or so, chunks of $500-1500 just disappear from her accounts, or my parents' zelle/Paypal accounts. Like, 3 $500 charges. The typical notification doesn't occur, my sister's account doesn't see the money (they checked). My parents aren't slouches. They've filed claims, wrote letters, threatened to involve a congressperson who's a family friend.
These banks won't budge. The payment systems themselves are untouchable.
One bank in particular, Suntrust, was notorious because you look up online and see hundreds of poor people with the same story of money that just disappears in chunks. Fraud shouldn't even be possible. It's the type of thing where if hackers or fraudsters COULD hack that, they're jacking directly into the bank's infrastructure, not the individual's personal account details. Meaning, even if it's true conmen, it's like the bank leaving their vault door cracked open and making you pay for it.
I began to seriously wonder if these banks were just stealing the fucking money! But wait, they couldn't get away with that for long, it would be the story of the decade, right!
Well, unless this is POLICY.
These bank bailouts, they ended the idea of market-driven distribution of resources. It's all funny money now, a money printer casino for rich people. What happens when shortages come up? How do you unfuck real economy hiccups without price mechanisms and markets to actually convey this information to entreprenuers?
Enter, Aladdin.
Aladdin the terminator of Blackrock Financial Markets by Jorgeacevedoarnaldo May, 2024 Medium

How would you react if I told you that a robot has more wealth than all the nations on Earth combined? A robot so strong that, in the last ten years, it has secretly built the largest corporation on the planet. This is the narrative of the robot Aladdin, born on Wall Street. The best kept secret, capable of consuming all asset classes in all sectors. To put it in perspective, Aladdin currently controls $21 trillion of the global economy.
Aladdin has become a system responsible for more than four times the value of all the money in the world this robot directs stocks in the United States.
from the federal reserve of almost all major banks and investment funds on Wall Street and more than 17,000 traders. It controls half of all ETFs, the bond market, the global stock market and makes a quarter of a million trades every day and billions of forecasts every week, year after year, accumulating trillions of data points in each market.
In 2008, the global financial crisis arrived and with 21 years of existence. The US government used Aladdin to decide which assets to keep and which assets it wanted to leave in the $30 billion bailout package. It was the robot that saved the United States from disaster. It is a little-known story. With that first success, not only the American government but now the European and Japanese central banks began to trust Aladdin to determine how
The $5 trillion of new money they printed should go, most of it into bonds and funds to prop up mortgage companies and banks, assets in which Aladdin and Blackrock were already invested. Money printing expanded
causing assets controlled by America to grow rapidly to $11 trillion in 2013.
In the last decade, Aladdin has gone from being a leader to dominating all financial markets with the acquisition of Barclays by Blackrock, obtaining Barclays shares, units of exchange-traded funds or ETFs, and with that Aladdin went from dominating bonds and stocks to ETF dominator, just like everyone else. The biggest investors moved from mutual funds to ETFS and that’s when in 2017 everything changed, on Aladdin’s 29th birthday, Larry launched a top secret project on blackrock under the code name Monarch which led to the firing of its managers. funds and By replacing its funds with Aladdin funds, the robot was now removing humans from the equation entirely and, as a result, today more than 70 percent of all transactions in the US stock markets are made by it. They decide robots with Aladdin leading the way these transactions are completed from the beginning.

BlackRock Boosts Aladdin’s Forward-Looking Sustainability Analytics and Reporting Capabilities Through Strategic Partnership with Clarity AI Business Wire
Oh and look at this, Aladdin is being used to focus on funding sustainability AKA ESG.
Hmm..
So what happens when your financial uber-robot fucks up and runs short on a cash, or needs to take cash out of the consumer market? Is there a way to enable it to just simply STEAL from people (it already controls your pensions, folks, your "wealth" is already stolen and will be nationalized soon enough, de facto or otherwise)?
So here's what happened when my father say $1000 of charges to his bank via venmo, without receiving a venmo notification, and without my sister - the beneficiary - receiving the money

1. He tried to log in to the venmo app "server error try later".
2. He went online to see if he could file a dispute "disputes are filed from the app".
3. Finally the app came back "to file a dispute, click get help on your transaction under the me tab". This button was missing
4. He called the bank and filed a dispute "well since this was money sent to your daughter, not a vendor, there's little we can do."
5. "But my daughter never got the money, and the vendor I'm disputing is Venmo."
6. "Well, Venmo's not a vendor but we'll see what we can do."

This shit reminds me of when I tried to cancel/change my cable bill a couple times. Have you ever tried to do that? It's typically like this:

1. Oops the web site is down try later
2. Okay, you're logged in just click here
3. Oops there's a server error, why don't you try our live chat
4. "Hi, I'm pradeesh from India, what can I help you with?"
5. "I want to cancel my cable"
6. "Ok, I'm absolutely going to help you with that, but first maybe I can save you money with this other deal"
7. "No I don't want that"
8. "Okay, but I can save you $50 a month for a year if you sign up for this 2 year plan"
9. "What about year 2? You know what, just cancel please"
10. "Okay, sure, I'll help you with that. Just let me work out the details.
11. 10 minutes on hold
12. "Okay, I've sorted out some of your details, but there's actually this great new deal I found."

THAT SHIT is behavioral science.
They want you permanently subscribed to service based systems, and while your wages will slowly, barely increase over time, the amount of your money bogged down by this shit will see your saving be next to nothing. They will make your life hell if you try to escape or manage this, but not so much that you wake up enough to see what's happening and make radical changes to your life.
With data science, they can tell exactly who you are, exactly whether you have access to money from somewhere to keep paying these charges.
For instance, I'm 1000% certain that a data science platform identified my sister as a poor, dysfunctional, high-spending, unlikely to notice or address fraud kind of person. Then, it identified my parents as high-income who, no matter how pissed they get, will never stop sending money to my sister in semi-regular increments.
So, based on this data science, their accounts were targeted for literal fraud that I'm certain has to be built into the algorithm of even the Venmo app. Like, conveniently timed "server errors" so my parents quit trying to fix the problem. Or mysteriously absent dispute claim buttons.
Reddit does shit like this all the time. You try to post when your post has controversial keywords, or you have controversial karma? "I'm sorry there's some sort of server error." Lol, okay, so I just go to old.reddit and it posts fine.
Anyway, we're ALREADY LIVING IN BEHAVIORAL SCIENCE HELL.
Also the economy is 1,000,000% fake as hell.
This is literally the reality we're in, and probably 99% of the country doesn't even have any idea.

We live in Texas, My wife and I have been living in our townhome since 2018. Since then, our home has flooded a handful of times during periods of excessive rainfall. The exact source of the rain has been incredibly difficult to replicate. I have done masonry work, landscaping work, and roofing work all as an attempt to prevent our house from flooding but it's all been in vain and seems to have made little to no difference. I've hired multiple leak detection companies and they all seem to have different theories as to where the rain is getting in. I've already spent well in excess of $10,000 in repairs and if i were to perform every recommended improvement, it would likely cost me an additional $20,000-$30,000. Now that our walls are torn apart, all the moisture in the wall evidence suggests the source of the water is coming somewhere from the wall we share with our neighbor. The floods are incredibly infrequent(1-2x in a 2 year span) but involve 50-100 gallons of water coming into our house in a matter of minutes. Obviously I'm unable to predict when our house will flood, it's an all or nothing ordeal. During the last time we were flooding, I got into a heated argument with our neighbor begging her to let me check her backyard to see if there is standing water against our foundation on her side (there is). A few days later, I finally got her to reluctantly allow our water mitigation into her side of the unit and low and behold, she has water damage on her side as well, right next to our shared wall. The flooding on her side of the wall seems to be far less severe and she doesn't seem the least bit concerned with the potential for mold growth or water damage. She seems to have just accepted that once in a while, her house will get some water into it and she will have to mop it up. In the ideal world, the flooding is coming somewhere along our shared wall because I'm willing and desperate enough to cover 100% of the cost to fix it. But I'm terrified that the source of the water could be somewhere along her foundation, especially considering that she has areas of standing water directly against our shared foundation. She seems unwilling to allow us to water test on her side.
My question is, does our neighbor have any sort of legal obligation to help us correct this issue? Or at the very least, allow us to conduct some sort of reasonable exploratory work on her side, i.e. foundation inspections, water testing etc.

I bought a brand new 2022 Chevy Bolt in my home state in 2021, from the dealership. I have all that paperwork and that dealership can confirm everything. It was brand new, 150 miles (they just had to drive it to my location—I was the first owner of this new car is my point).
I then moved to CA and went to register my car at the DMV here. During the process, they marked “not actual mileage” on the registration paperwork (it was a miscommunication and an error, I can tell you more if you think it matters to the case).
I then discovered, the next time I went in for service at the Chevy dealership in CA, this “not actual mileage” designation had resulted in a branded title which made my warranty unusable. On a brand new car. So, I went through all the steps necessary, filed with the appropriate offices (DMV, CHP), sent in statement of facts, had an inspection etc, to have my title amended to read the actual mileage and be fully valid. So, title problem corrected, it is now “actual mileage.”
After this, I went back to my Chevy dealership to have under-warranty repairs done, and it still came up as a branded title in their system, therefore they won’t do any work under warranty. This is very bad—if anything fails on the car, I would have to pay out of pocket…and againnnn the warranty is still really valuable given it’s a young car and I’m the first owner.
I asked the dealership whose authority could lift the branded title designation, so that I can submit paperwork, evidence etc to them, and they said to call GM/Chevy the company and couldn’t give me any other advice, so I did.
GM/Chevy Warranty Dept said I need to get a letter from the CA DMV on official letterhead stating that the not actual mileage designation was made in error, and including my VIN etc.
So I went to the CA DMV to get this letter and they said absolutely not we don’t do that kind of thing. They told me to call the Secretary of State in Sacramento? To see if they’ll make this letter??
Which I will, but I have to be honest, I’m expecting the same runaround from them.
Does anyone who’s still reading have advice? I’ve been stuck in this circular maze of trying to get the branded designation lifted for over a year while I filed all the paperwork and waited for responses and finally, my corrected title 🤦‍♀️ and my bumper to bumper, which I never had the opportunity to use, expires next month (sighhhh)
I most want to know, who am I supposed to submit all my valid corrective paperwork/corrected title to in order to get the branded designation lifted, at least in the Chevy dealerships system?
Thanks in advance for any insights.

I was on the dating scene from my 18's up to 24 where after being multiple unsuccessful dates, I eventually gave up. 7 weeks ago I started a new job with no intention of finding someone there or even ask someone on a date. I befriended a work colleague and found interest in her. We've been talking here and there and I eventually asked if she would go on a date with me this Sunday, which she couldn't but said next Sunday would work.
Since she said yes, I've lost appetite and sleep. I try to not think too much about it but catch myself overthinking. I don't like being like this especially because nothing happened. My anxiety is through the roof, I'm overthinking every interactions I've been having with her. I don't show it and keep a straight face but inside I got alarms ringing and my brain is overheating.
I've been cleaning my apartment more than ever and even re-arranged furniture in my room. I'm like a goddam kid waiting for Christmas except I don't know if I'll get coal or not.

Hello Lawyers,
Would really appreciate some advice.
SITUATION:
Offered to purchase property (11 year old) on 5/4
Hailstorm in the area happened on 5/15. Many homes in the neighborhood are using their insurance to replace their roofs because of the damage to the roofs.
Informed the sellers about hail damage to roof on 5/25
Sellers did a “tune-up” / minor repair on the roof on 5/30 as their roofing company told them it was only a “minor damage”
We had 2 roofing companies inspect and both said the damage is substantial and roof is recommended to be repaired fully / replaced. One of the roofers was actually send to inspect the “repair” work done by the sellers on 5/30, and was asked to simply confirm that the work done was satisfactory. Instead, the roofer actually couldn’t confirm it, and confirmed the significant damage on the roof.
The sellers refused to use their insurance to fix the roof, arguing that they are not liable to give us a “new” roof.
Closing was scheduled on 6/10, but we have delayed to 6/11, as we are trying to negotiate with the seller one last time.
QUESTIONS:

1. Based on the following clause in the NC real estate standard contract, can I terminate this contract?
   
2. If the sellers doesn’t agree that the property is not materially damaged, can we still demand the return of the due diligence and the earnest money?
   
3. How can we make a strong case here? Do we even need to make a case?
   
4. Is this likely to go to court? If so, based on these facts, are we more likely to win, or the seller?
   

“11. CONDITION OF PROPERTY/RISK OF LOSS: (a) Condition of Property at Settlement: If the Property is not in substantially the same or better condition at Closing as on the date of this offer, reasonable wear and tear excepted, Buyer may terminate this Contract by written notice delivered to Seller and the Due Diligence Fee and Earnest Money Deposit shall be refunded to Buyer. If the Property is not in such condition and Buyer does NOT elect to terminate this Contract, Buyer shall be entitled to receive, in addition to the Property, the proceeds of any insurance claim filed by Seller on account of any damage or destruction to the Property. (b) Risk of Loss: The risk of loss or damage by fire or other casualty prior to Closing shall be upon Seller. Seller is advised not to cancel existing insurance on the Property until after confirming recordation of the deed.”

Hello everyone,
I would like to seek some advices and inspirations regarding the situation of me and my boyfriend.
I am a Swiss citizen living in Switzerland. My boyfriend (btw we are both men) lives in a developing Arabic country (I mean, not one of the rich Gulf countries, but not one of the regions with ongoing wars either). For his safety I prefer not to disclose his exact nationality. His country is very homophobic.
We started our relationship in early 2022. Since then, I have visited him 12 times in his country. We send numerous messages and call each other literally every day. After more than two years in a long-distance relationship, we are now looking for ways to be physically together.
Also, the situation becomes increasingly difficult due to some of his family and friends discovering our relationship. Before, I used to hang out with his friends/family as a "normal" friend. Now we have to hide and it becomes a headache to find excuses to his absence from family/friends during my visit.
Our background:

• Me: 41yo, well established socially and professionally in Switzerland.
• Him: 29yo, works as an accountant. He has good English skills (IELTS 6) but has not completed a university degree after graduating from high school.

Options we have been thinking about:
1. I move to his country.
Not feasible due to the need to hide our relationship and the uncertainty about my job prospects and income.
2. He comes to Switzerland.
This is our preferred option. But seems not easy.
2.1. Marriage
This would grant him the right to stay and work in Switzerland. We have many materials to prove our relation, so this option could surely work. However, we are not ready for marriage without having lived together. Also, he has never come to Switzerland or Europe, so we would also like to see how he feels here. That’s why it would be great if he could come to stay with me for some time, and after that we can make important decisions like what do we want between us, where do(es) we(he) see our(his) future…
2.2. Tourist visa
Not practical. Max. 3 months and requires a letter from his employer that they are OK that he travels to Switzerland. Then they will know he is visiting me and this will create a lot of problems (we have to hide, as mentioned above).
2.3. Student visa
This is the option we have examined the most. He could enroll in a French learning program. This is actually a good idea: if we decide to stay long-term, he will anyway need to master French. Otherwise, acquiring a new language is anyhow beneficial to his future.
We meet the formal conditions for a student visa (e.g. financial means, acceptance by a Swiss school etc.) but visa approval is uncertain as the authorities have significant discretion, especially regarding the applicant’s intention. I’ve read the SEM directives, and apparently the visa is refused if they have even minor doubt on the intention. I also read some jurisprudence from the Swiss Federal Court. In some cases, visas were rejected even with seemingly valid motivation. For example: an Algerian with a bachelor’s degree, accepted into a Swiss master program, with very strong financial means, was denied a visa because the authorities doubted the necessity of his master study and suspected on his immigration intention due to Algeria’s economic crisis.
My boyfriend’s case might be seen weaker: an Arabic accountant (his country is also in an economic crisis), with a high school diploma from 11 years ago, , now wanting to study French in Switzerland without a clear professional reason. Another thing: we are unsure how to present our relationship in the application. We will only say in the motivation letter that I am his close friend and guarantor. But if the embassy ask directly about our relationship, he cannot lie, which will make the story of intention even more complicated.
I contacted some language schools in my city, receiving mixed responses. Some say the chances are low, some high (but they might be motivated by the money), others have no idea. When I asked about the motivation letter, one school suggested using ChatGPT (what a joke) and another said we could say something like he wants to reorient his career to open a tourism company in his country, thus learning French (for me it sounds a bit weak and dubious). I don't like the idea of these kind of statements, but I also don't know what to say otherwise.
Although I'm skeptical about our chances for a student visa, we might still try. But I’m also a bit worried: if his visa gets rejected this time, will it have a negative impact on future applications? Especially if we do not disclose all information (our relation) this time.
We would appreciate any insights, experiences and suggestions. Our goal is simply to be together and plan our future.
Thank you for reading and for any help you can provide!

Florida
And I already consulted a lawyer regarding the issue but I have further concerns. Did some more digging and from what I've read the AWA supposedly only prevents sponsoring immigrants if there was a conviction regarding sexual crimes against a minor. Step father was arrested and brought to court regarding (bogus) charges regarding sexual misbehaviors around a minor near the turn of the millennium that were dropped. He was convicted of a misdemeanor that was not related to the minor in the situation but was given probation. The Intent to Deny letter even clarifies that they know the charges were dropped and are aware of the misdemeanor. However, it does still state:
"The record indicates that you were convicted of an offense which may be enumerated in section 111(7)(A-I) of the Adam Walsh Act."
Checked the signed bill and the specified section is indeed about being convicted of sexual crimes against a minor. Lawyer initially clarified that this might just be a more intense way of USCIS demanding court records be sent to them so it was a sigh of relief at first, but then they wanted to run it by their boss first just in case. Came back and said they needed to do a whole lot more like sending in proof of marriage and a psychological evaluation. The fee to do all this is prohibitively expensive and I feel the firm might just be trying to extract money out of us. Re-reading the letter also confirms the lawyer's initial recommendation:
"In order for USCIS to determine whether you have established that the above offense is not a "specified offense against a minor," you must submit the necessary conviction documents or establish that they are unavailable or cannot reasonably be obtained."
Quite easy to just send over the court records they're asking for to show there was no convictions regarding sexual offenses against a minor but I'm not sure if this might endanger the case and possibly make it more expensive to recover from.