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Hi, 26F here and my husband is 26M. No kids. Trigger warning for details of verbal/threats of physical abuse. We've been married since we were 22. I'm posting partly because I feel like I need solidarity/confirmation that it's as bad as it feels.
I've been reading online about abuse and I see a lot of posts about frequent, repetitive instances of abuse. My situation isn't quite like that, but rather he has now had two instances of "blowing up" where he "gets pushed over the edge" (his words, definitely reversing the blame there) and will go on for hours where he's yelling at me, calling me names, and generally demeaning and insulting me personally. It's pretty traumatic and I basically just disassociate and wait for him to be done. I never name call or yell back.
The first time it happened, it was in response to something I did. Basically I shared some details about our relationship with a friend, and he found out. He had asked me before to keep our business between him and I, so he felt very disrespected. I did later apologize for this, I can understand that not everyone needs to know our details and I am okay with respecting this ask, I just slipped up. This disrespect sent him over the edge and he spent somewhere from 1-2 hours straight yelling at me, repeatedly calling me a stupid b*tch and c*nt, and he went through in detail all the things he hates about my personality- insulting my hobbies and interests and so on. Just all around attacks on me and my character. While it was happening I had it fixed in my mind to leave, because obviously he didn't like me very much anymore and also name-calling was something I had previously set as a hard boundary. However, after things calmed down of course it's hard to walk away. He eventually apologized, reflected on his behavior and said it wouldn't happen again.
The second time it happened it was about 6 months later. This time I didn't do anything wrong per se. I had a moment of jealousy: I thought he was getting a little too friendly/flirty with another girl at the bar, and I told him my feelings were hurt about it. He denied and denied and denied, and eventually left me at the bar. I was pissed at being abandoned, and I walked home alone, and when I got home I tried to explain to him why it was so hurtful to me. At some point again something in him snapped. He let himself call me a b*tch and from there it just spirals, calling me every name possible, he tells me to go f*ck somebody new, "leave me I don't even care," and worst of all he repeatedly threatened s*ic*de. It was horrible. Again this lasted for over an hour. Oh and also this time he punched a countertop, a door, and I had been packing for a trip and he threw my open suitcase across the room and threw my clothes across the room. At one point I also got in his way and he did make physical contact with me- I don't think he was trying to hit me but ya know does it really matter lol. Also we have pets and he had no regard for what happened to them in this moment. After he fell asleep I had the pets all packed up and everything to get the heck out of there, but the threats of harm and the fear of being alone and confronting the situation stopped me. I stayed.
A few hours after that he came to me and instead of apologizing he said "there's no justification for my actions but also I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't pushed to my very breaking point" right right
Then a few days later he finally texted me and said "there's no excuse or justification for my actions. can you help me find a therapist?" I want to believe he is serious about changing but there's just so much negative stuff that I feel myself just sort of checking out.
Outside of the outright abuse, the pattern in our relationship recently is that whenever I have an issue and try to bring it up, he denies, and then attacks me in some way by saying I'm too sensitive, and then will use that as a chance to go on long monologues about all the problems I cause in the relationship and the problems I have. I've voiced this to him but he keeps doing it. So I also feel like my issues don't matter and that I'm expected to just sit pretty and be happy.
It's sort of like, though, that I see the "abuse" version of him as somebody else, not his true self, and I just let myself forget it and keep going and hope it doesn't happen again. He was abused and has other issues, and I really do just feel bad for him. Because I can see him become embarrassed with the way he acts and I can't imagine feeling that level of shame/remorse. I don't want my guy to feel that way so I tell myself if I love him through it then he doesn't have to feel that way. IDK and when I think about leaving I can't help but think about pissing off his family. I'm SO scared of what people will think of me. Can I be happy in this situation again? Can he love me and also treat me like this? Does it matter that it's only happened 2 times? I know nobody can answer these questions for me but any insight is appreciated.

Shooting my shot again. Trying to find my person, maybe my future partner. Let's share stories and secrets. Let’s get to know each other and then see where things go.
Few details about me:
Corporate gurlie from the south (IV-A)
Works in the metro
Gym rat so yes I’m into fit guys
Adventurous
Loves to travel! Beach trips? G!
157 cm short
A listener who’s into smart guys (hihi)
Review by a friend: mabango and funny
About you:
Preferably 25-32 y/o
Athletic
Weakness ko yung mga matalino and physically batak
Working professional
Taller than me pls
May sense kausap
Hopefully we share the same humor
Let’s make this fun, answer this: What’s your ideal first date?

I held the package close, its precious contents pressed against my spine. The steady beeps that communicated life drove my exhausted legs forward. Even with the combat stimulants running rampant through my blood, my nervous system bringing fibrous polymer muscles to their brink, and a set of assisting servos practically tripling my stride speed, I was exhausted. The sun and its rays bared down on me like a predatory dragon, each ray a fang made of flame, ready to tear open my suit and scorch my skin…but not today.
“Not today!”
I picked my stride up and sent every muscle in my body past overdrive, I tore stone and sand as I sprinted farther forward and collapsed. I had finally made it to one of the only rations of shade on the desolate moon surface. As I hit the ground and retreated into the shade, I removed the pack from my shoulders and gently laid the box down. I opened the zipper that held the sunshade on and looked at the pale figure inside.
“Hello my love, I hope you’re resting well, we finally made it, now just time to wait…and you'll be better again”
I took my helmet off and took a deep breath before beginning to set up camp. I thought back to the mission room, where I was nearly denied entry to Io
“You understand the journey you’re undertaking has never been completed before? This is a mission that as of this moment has a 100% rate of failure. Do you not think it would be wiser to simply say your goodbyes and prepare for a life without her?”
I shook my head as the council stared at me with tired expressions and pained eyes
“I am three times decorated am I not?”
The head minister nodded and shuffled her papers, reading slowly from the top page
“Argon Lethius, 12 tours, 7 rotations, 153 confirmed neutralizations, 3000 pending, strength record unmatched, augmentations class S granted. You’re also the sole surviving candidate of the sky petal program”
The sky petal program, an experimental research project I had taken part in to pay for my wedding. The core concept was simple: graft photovoltaic cells onto our skin and use nanotechnology to create a bio-mechanical ecosystem within the dermis.
The result was going to be humans capable of photosynthesis, making us less susceptible to nutrition based disaster. Rejection however was high in the program and when your body is trying to fight its skin, things get ugly quickly. A dormant gene I had passed on from my mother allowed my body to accept the prosthesis but at great cost, I was now essentially allergic to solar radiation. When I'm planetside I'm just fine, but if I was in an area devoid of atmosphere, the nanotech would go overkill, usually producing energy akin to solar flares from my skin.
“Mr. Lethius, your feats and skills are unmatched, your circumstances are impossible to reproduce and the dedication you’ve shown to this coalition has been unwavering. Which is why we sympathize with your loss, and grieve with you. Crystal was-”
I snapped at her
“Is…she’s still alive”
The minister nodded and corrected herself
“I'm sorry, Crystal is an incredible addition to this council, and we are deeply sorry both internally and externally. But the dragons of Io have no official record, and the sunlight alone could overcharge you in a day, leaving not only our best military asset but also his sick wife stranded without hope of rescue”
I nodded and spoke solemnly
“3 days supply, and a ship to drop me off, if I don't respond in 4 days, come get my body and bury her where we fall. She loves it there. Even if I can't save her, I want her to rest somewhere she would be happy”
I snapped back to the present and finished setting up camp. Unpacking our supplies and connecting a set of solar panels to her cryo-chamber. I watched her take deep breaths through the ventilator as I threw a tarp overhead and began digging into the rockface.
“You’ll be ok my love, by this time tomorrow you’ll be your old self again”
I dug for hours, tearing holes in my suit and flaying the skin from my fingers. As my blood hit the white dirt and stained the cracked surface, I felt a degree of nausea rise up from my stomach. Saliva filled my dry mouth and I bit down on my tongue to prevent the vomit. Bile reached the back of my throat and I dug my fingers into the dirt, searching for the Will to resist my body’s urges. The sun couldn’t take me, my mind couldn’t shake me, I would not buckle before saving her. Before long I couldn't go on, and I needed to rest.
I swallowed hard and sat back, laying down and looking up at the harsh sky.
“Hindsight is 20/20, we can keep trying new things but sometimes this is just how things work out, I’m sorry”
I nodded as the doctor left the room and she sat motionless in her gown.
“That guy didn’t know what he was talking about, there’s so many treatments, we’ll just go to another doctor”
She brushed a strand of hair out of her face and looked up at me
“I’m tired of my love, can we go home?”
I nodded without speaking and embraced her, feeling her slow and weakened heartbeat against my chest, its rhythm in sync with my own.
“Sure, We’ll go home”
That was the last time I saw her awake, she fell asleep on the car ride home…and never woke up. I was able to bring her to the hospital where they revived her, but she was comatose, most likely asleep till the cancer kills her.
“I’m sorry my love”
I looked over at her chamber before bringing my hand up to my face and staring at the mangled flesh of my palms.
“A drop of blood for a question, a thousand heartbeats for an answer”
I heard the voice in my head as if it was a thought I had formulated all on my own, but the voice was different, it didn’t belong to me nor anyone I had ever heard before.
“A single tear for a favor, an entire ocean for its completion”
I crawled to the spot where my blood had dripped into the ground, the sand was stained red but almost completely dry. I leaned over it and thought about my honeymoon, I thought about vacations and work, time together and apart, moments where she was everything. I thought about the idea of my life without her, and then it came like a flood. Tears flowed freely from my eyes and drenched the ground, the first falling square on the red stain in the sand. The liquid pooled on top and a small ribbon of crimson fluid flowed upward into the tear drop. The ribbon danced and waved in a thin line through the microscopic ocean.
“What is your question?”
The voice came from above me now, and as I slowly looked upward, a loomed overhead, blocking the sun from view, and causing my heart to skip a beat.
“What…is your question”
Before me now stood a massive beast, speaking in the voice I had heard in my mind and digging his gargantuan claws into the sand. The tip of each toe ended in a blade that was crystalline and almost translucent. Each blade too had a glowing orange stripe that when shifted, turned the sand underneath him to panes of glass. His arms were broad and powerful, covered in green scales and his maw hung open with a light blue mist emanating from his teeth. He was the dragon, the one from Io who space gods told legends about.
“I…I want to know something about my wife”
He knelt down on his two front arms and brought his eyes to my level, a kindness flowing between his seemingly infinite pupils.
“Your wife. She is a story I myself cannot seem to get over. What do you wish to know?”
I looked up at him and let out a deep breath before gesturing to her
“Can- can she be saved”
His gaze snapped to her case and he slowly moved over to where she slept
“You brought her with you, of course you did, you could never leave her behind.
I crawled over and knelt next to him, tears still flowing from my eyes.
“Please tell me, can she make it?”
He turned around and knelt next to me, putting a massive hand gently on my shoulder and speaking softly.
“My boy, She’s already made it, just not in the direction…you were hoping”
He tapped the monitor screen and it stopped showing vitals, instead displaying a digital sign in dark red letters. I read them aloud to myself.
“Subject deceased, time since last recorded activity. 37 hours 22 minutes 48-49 seconds”
He nodded and spoke calmly
“You wanted to badly for her to live, you saw her living, even when she wasn’t”
I slammed my hand on the crate and opened the lid, picking her up in my arms and putting my ear to her chest.
“Come on, come on. You’re ok, you’re ok”
I clutched her in my arms as silence arrived to my ears. I rocked her and cried into her soft silken hair. Her pale skin had lost its glimmer and I pressed my forehead against her own. I spoke through tears and a tightened throat
‘No, she cant die, I found you! I finally found you! Come on sweetheart you’re ok right? Just wake up. He's here baby we made it, please just wake up, please”
The dragon loomed over head and let out a deep breath, speaking gently, so as not to disturb the silence
“She is gone, and even I cannot save her”
I felt my skin begin flaming as I turned my head back up toward him
“Then what can you do? What can you do if you can’t bring her back to me? Why are you a legend if you cant make her breath again?!?”
He whispered softly into her ears and I felt the wind of the world around me change
“Because I can send you to her”
The planet fell silent and she disappeared along with the dragon. The camp was gone, my hand had been healed, my suit was gone and instead I wore a thin white shirt and loose cotton shorts. I was comfortable, and as I stood to my feet I felt as if my thirst had been quenched, my hunger satiated, I was…ok.
“Hello?”
I called to the emptiness, and before long a soft sullen voice spoke back.
“Hello darling”
She took my face in her hands and turned me around, holding my cheek as my whole body shook
“Hi beautiful”
I brought my hand up to her own and felt her soft warm skin against mine, I pressed my head into her hand and leapt forward, bringing her close and up into the air as I spun her around. She laughed as I gently set her down and wrapped my arms around her.
“I’m sorry you can’t stay”
I looked at her and spoke quickly
“What do you mean I can’t stay? The dragon sent me to you, he sent me to see you, so we can be together again”
She shook her head and kissed my softly, as she pulled away she put her hand on my chest
“It’s not your time hero, I’ll see you eventually, but this is goodbye for now”
I woke up on the sand, the dragon standing over me, holding her body as she began to slowly turn to dust. His tears fell on her degrading body as he handed her to me, and lowered his head.
“I'm sorry, it’s never permanent, did she tell you goodbye?”
I took a deep breath and held her in my arms before walking a few paces forward, and laying her down on the sand. I spoke calmly as tears streamed down my face.
“Yea…she did”
He nodded
“That is more than most get, was she smiling?’
I wiped my eyes and laughed
“Yea…she was”
He fluffed his wings and let the world around us grow heavy with winds
“Then your mission is complete”
I continued to cry as I looked back at him and spoke in a wavering tone
“Did you know I was a general?”
He strolled over and sat next to me, watching her particles flow away with the storm
“You were the most powerful general of all time, incapacitating but never killing, for a man with your rank one must usually commit vast atrocities but you…you never took one life”
I nodded and watched the wind whip and carry sand alongside her body
“I didn’t want to take life, I was reprimanded over and over but I always knew there was a better way, she wanted me to try, to make it so at every opportunity we could fight without ending lives…she hated senseless death…and I think I see why now”
He spoke calmly, wiping his eyes as the last of her bones turned to crystalline dust in the wind
“Her death was not senseless, in fact you'll find that when something as beautiful as her dies, it becomes impossible to make sense of it. That does not mean it happened without sense, and it does not mean her death must be for nothing. When men first meet me, they offer a drop of blood, and that is all I require for the question, but to gain my favor, they must give up a piece of themselves”
I sighed and looked up at him
“What do you need from me then?”
He gestured to where her body had sat moments ago
“You just let the biggest piece of yourself go without a fight. You have paid for more than enough trips to see her”
I nodded and spoke without waiver
“I'm not supposed to keep visiting her though, am I? She won’t be happy till we see eachother again permanently, and if I show up prematurely…she would probably be pissed. So ,I guess now I just live?”
He laid down in the sand and let out a deep groan
“I don’t think I’ve lived in quite some time, I’ve been stranded here for so long, evading capture to exist within my freedom, too afraid to face the cosmos again”
I patted his side and gripped what was essentially his ankle
“You shouldn’t be afraid, fear doesn’t do anything for men like us. Maybe we should sit a while, and see if your fear doesn’t go away”
He let out a deep breath and closed his eyes, laying down as I watched the sun rise over the horizon. My heartbeat continued, but as I watched the last of her ashes swirl through the air, I found a modicum of peace, and I thought about her.

So I've really been enjoying the release of 1.0 and wanted to thank/encourage the devs by buying the Castlevania DLC and so i did.
Unfortunately, the gear cosmetic (cape and chest) that comes with the DLC is complwtely useless because it replaces my high lvl gear by something with zero gear level. So I use it as my pyjama before getting cozy in my coffin...
Has this been adressed? If so what was Stunlocks answer?

CONTEXT: All of the players mentioned here are fellow HR coworkers. The players are:

• Coworker #1 (we'll call her May) is a supervisor in the HR Department. May has been with the org for 20+ years overall, and in her current supervisor role for the past 2 years. She has receieved Exceeding Reviews.
  
• Coworker #2 (we'll call him Josh) was promoted in Nov 2023 (in the same team as May). Josh has been with the org for about 2 years, and has the least amount of overall past experience of any of us.
  
• Coworker #3 (we'll call her Fanny) was also promoted to a supervisor role in Nov 2023. Fanny is newer to the org (6 months), but came with decades of prior high level HR experience.
  
• Me: I was also promoted to a supervisor role in Nov 2023 (as Fanny's counterpart). I have been with the org for 5 years. However, I demoted myself to my old role in March for a couple of reasons, but one of the primary ones was pay; I actually got a pay bump by demoting myself...yeah.
  

ISSUE #1: May is paid less than Josh, even though she and he are in similarly situated roles (same level, same team), and she has significantly more experience than Josh does. She is aware of this because she helped process the paperwork when he was originally promoted. She wants to bring this up to her manager to discuss. So, May and I were talking today about this, and I was helping her to strategize her talking points. I asked what the difference in pay was exactly between them, so she looked it up in our HRIS to confirm what it was exactly. She then noticed that Josh's pay was actually more than she thought she remembered from when he was promoted in the late fall, and looked at the pay change history to determine why.
It was because Josh had received a company-wide comp adjustment in January 2024.
Ok, now hold that thought....
ISSUE #2: When I was promoted in Nov 2023, my promotion offer came with a very small raise/wage increase. When I tried to negotiate, I was told that the new comp philosophy was to bring people in at the exact approved hiring rate, and there was zero room for negotiation. I was told that despite that, I could expect to receive a company-wide comp adjustment that was coming in Jan 2024. I ended up accepting the role.
In Dec 2023, the CEO sends a company-wide email about the upcoming comp adjustment in Jan, and specified that one of the parameters of the comp adjustment was that anyone promoted in Q4 would be ineligible. (Note: The comp adjustment percentage was higher than the percentage of my raise for the promotion. Meaning if I had not been promoted, I would have actually been making more money with the comp adjustment.)
I immediately reached out to my manager to say that this was inconsistent with what we had discussed. She said she was unaware of that parameter when she told me I would get the comp adjustment, and would look into it further.
Fast forward to Feb, and there's still no answer. I reiterate to my manager that she had told me I would be receiving the comp adjustment when she made me the offer initially, and that that had factored into my decision to take the role. She then said that if I wanted to reconsider my promotion because of this, I could. So, I did. In March I demoted myself back to my old role, ans then received the comp adjustment (so started making more than in my promoted role). There were other factors that pushed me in this direction, but the pay was one of the main ones and was the catalyst.
So. Let's to back to Josh. I find out today, that Josh received the company wide comp adjustment in Jan 2024, even though he was also a Q4 promotion.
Fanny (who was promoted with me in Nov 2023 to the same supervisor role) also did not receive the company wide comp adjustment.
SUMMARY/TLDR: So here you have two women (me and Fanny) who didn't receive this comp adjustment in Jan because we were Q4 promotions, but Josh (a man) did. And you have another woman (May) who is being paid less than Josh even though she has far greater experience.
ULPT REQUEST: Where I need the ULPT is how to frame up how I know this about Josh's compensation, so that I can bring this to our CHRO. I know that having access to comp (and other sensitive) information via the HRIS is a privilege and that May and I should not have been looking at that to help prepare her for her conversation about the pay inequity between her and Josh, so I don't really want to admit to that. But now that I know this, I have to call this out. It's just too wrong. I freaking demoted myself over this because they told me no to getting the comp adjustment due to my Q4 promotion.
So, what can I do?

Basically, I need some guidance. I’ve grown cold towards the things of God and hardened my heart, I desperately want to return to Him but feel stuck. Now, this isn’t a “what should I do” post, it’s a bit different. I have been diagnosed with OCD, and part of that is scrupulously, basically intense guilt shame and thoughts of never being enough and fear of being too far gone. I say that part because the most common way back to the Lord I hear about from testimonies online (and scripture, e.g., you will find me when you search for me with your whole heart), is crying out to Him day and night and praying and worshiping etc nonstop for hours, then He answers. However, when I have moments of intense OCD, that’s what I do (pray for hours, etc). Interestingly, I have heard from Him in those moments, but it’s screwed by OCD and just isn’t a healthy spot mentally.
So if you have made it this far in my post, how do I balance the two? I want to cry out to Him, but afraid OCD will hijack it. I then also fear I blame OCD for more than it’s done, and grow apathetic because I don’t hunger and thirst for Him like I should because I (and others I’ve confessed this to) say it’s OCD.
Any input it welcome. Hope it makes sense.

There are different ways to experience the world. The most cherished and common way in our modern culture is the lens of thinking and rationality. We have come to exercise this part of our brain so much and it has become so central to our way of viewing the world that we have kind of forgotten that there are other ways to view the world too.
If you look at humans from other cultures, like a tribal group, they would not be as focused on rationality. They would see the world in an animistic way which is much more about felt experience and embodied knowing. This is also the type of "felt knowing" that the old greek gnosis word refers to as well, which is somehow translated to "personal knowledge" instead of "intellectual knowledge". It's a type of "knowing" which is ineffable and cannot be expressed in words, theorems or formulas. It has to be embodied and experienced. Anyone who's gone deep in meditation, or psychedelics knows what is meant by this type of knowledge.
I'm not trying to argue that one type of experiencing knowledge is superior to the other - I just see them as different. For example, we cannot deny that the intellectual, rational way of knowing has been incredibly useful for us to understand and manipulate the physical world which has fundamentally transformed our lives. But it is equally true that on a personal level, the embodied type of indescribable "knowing" is also incredibly important. That's the formation of personal meaning, or the deep felt sense that we belong in the world, or are connected to others. It is possible for example, to have a deeply meaningful personal experience that causes an internal shift in that "felt" personal knowledge which then transforms someone out of a depression.
With that preface, here's my idea: It seems to me like the intellectual type of knowing is ALL about relations. We form intellectual knowledge by creating concepts that are related to other concepts through similarities and behaviours. A "molecule" is a collection of "atoms" which are "a nucleous and electrons" and act through "electromagnetic forces" etc. It's all behavioural or relational descriptions all the way down. So the intellectual type of knowledge actually doesn't concern itself about what IS on an existential level. Only what things DO. The intellectual type of knowledge can always be pushed to absurdity by continually asking "But what is THAT?" or "But what caused THAT?" until you've climbed the relations all the way to the end-point where you just have to stop with a "I don't know". That's the inherent problem with relational knowing by definition, that you can always follow the relations until the unknowable edge at which there is a lack of explanation.
So arguably, intellectual knowledge is not about asking what things ARE but what things DO and how they RELATE. On the contrary, the felt type of experienced knowledge is the other way around. Stare at two surfaces, one plain blue and one plain red. You have a deep felt/experienced understanding that one is red, and one is blue. That is not a knowledge of relation. You don't know that one is red because the other is blue. You can't define either by relating them to the other. They both stand as complete known experiences on their own in isolation. They just ARE. How do you know this? By the fact that they simply APPEAR. They exist and are experienced. Why can't we explain it more than that? Because it's not a relational type of knowing, and language itself is an expression of the intellectual type of rational knowing. Language is relational. That's how I can tell you that one is blue and one is red because the word "blue" relates to that raw pure subjective experience of blue which in itself is ineffable. You need to have seen blue to know what my relational word "blue" is referring to. This is also why you can't explain a colour to someone who has never seen it. That's trying to communicate a felt known experience through relational means, which is impossible.
So, my argument is, that consciousness itself is NOT relational. It's existential. The experience of "red" or "bliss" or the raw feeling of "wet" they are all ineffable, incomparable things that just appear and don't exist through relation to anything else. This means that using the intellectual, rational mind to try and "understand" consciousness is a fool's errand. It's the wrong tool for the job. Trying to do it is why we have 829398213490 debates about what consciousness is that can't be resolved while still not even having a definition for consciousness. Through subjective experience we have direct access to the is-ness of consciousness. It's an existential phenomenon, not a relational one.
The problem is similar to if we were to try and talk about the true is-ness of an atom. We actually don't know what anything IS, deep down. We only know how they behave. What is a photon? Ask someone and you'll get answers like "It's the constituents of light", "it's an excitation of the electromagnetic field", "it's something that is both a wave and a particle" etc. These are all relations and behaviour, it never touches the raw pure existential nature of a photon itself. What IS it? Deep down. Without talking about what it DOES or what it comes from, or how it was found. It's ineffable. Our relational intellectual mind cannot answer existential questions.
Where does that leave us? It means that trying to intellectually understand what consciousness is, is impossible. Just as how it's impossible to understand "Why is there anything at all?" or understand what the true is-ness of a photon is. These are all existential questions as opposed to relational. The only deeper type of knowledge about consciousness that you can obtain is the felt, experienced sort. But that type of knowledge is not useful in the same way as rational knowledge, and it will never fit into science.
TL;DR There are different classes of knowledge. Intellectual knowledge is relational. Existential knowledge is felt, and experienced. Consciousness is the latter and can never be made sense out of rationally.

I’m 27 weeks, diagnosed at 12 weeks and have been diet controlled. Most of my numbers have been fine and within range so far. I have always been ok with a little bit of carbs but this week bread and rice have spiked me a little bit (just above 140). I started to get a little concerned about my levels so I started taking numbers at 1, 2, and 3 hours. My doctors only want me to take it after 1 hour. But just this week my 3 hr has been high. Number will be like 110-130 at 1 hour and then down below 100 at 2 hours and then back up to 120-140 at the 3 hours. This is with meals that I know are stretches for me (pasta bolognese, yaki soba, etc) but have been OK up to this point. I brought it up with my nurse and she said if the 1 hour is good that’s all we care about at this point because we are just looking for extended high periods. But I feel awful about this. Anyone else experiencing this? I guess the obvious answer is to restrict my diet further but I also don’t want to be taking my blood 3x after every meal…doctor does not recommend a cgm because I asked. Anyone else struggle with this?

Throughout the latest seeson of on cinema joey has been a thorn in greggs side. As a gregghead myself and many other gregg heads we were upset that joey was trying to uproot gregg with his own rating system and pre-record segmants. We were sending emails and letters to gregg to let him know. We thought that was the end of it al
Unfortunately on what was supposed to be an oscer special night, Joey threw greg into a wall after having his heart brocken by kaylie and his oscer knowledge snufed by Tim. After this we were on a hole new level of mad and angery at Joey for doing this. Lots of people were calling joey names in anger (and rightfuly so) like joey "peenis" or joey "poo" patreon. When the District atenrny of san diego failed to mention chagres against Joey we were even more upset. Gregg heads wanted justice for the damage done to greg that night by Joey. Joey got 0 popocorns
However after tonights joey interview there was good news. While police did not lock him up it sounds like greg got compinsation for his troubles not just for being flung at a wall but throughout the seseon of on cinema. It is unknown if joey is being troothful when hee says he didnt know who greg was but maybe gregs dumbledorf costume was just that good we dont konw it's equaley as likely. But regardl ess our Gregg resident Buff has gotten compinsation.
We dont konw the compensaition but i would lik eto extend an apology to joey for being really mean to him. Hopefully this compensiation is a cash infushion tat will keep the VFA afloat or maybe even reporen The Victorville Cinemas or a worldwide expansion of the VFA starting int Toronto, the TFA. I have emailed greg about this idea and he has told me its a great idea so maybe itll happen. Eitehr way. The future of VFA seems promizing and we have Joey to thank for that.
Also congrats to brown bill for his promotion and mr. g for his retirement hopefully the fruits of his pep boys investment in memorabilia will keep him cozy
\- Greg heads
P.s. but kylie one messaage for yoo to take home is that you were very rude and yoo need to make amends with Greg because at least Joey reeched out! At least finish a game ovf movie links.

If you got a ticket from the NYPD for violating some part of VTL 1100, e.g. 1111(d)(1) for a red light, you may have a legal defense. Bear in mind traffic courts are of the kangaroo variety, so there's a good chance you'd have to appeal 1+ times to get a court to agree, but here goes ...
VTL 1100 applies to

public highways, private roads open to public motor vehicle traffic

Public highways are defined under VAT 118 as

The entire width between the boundary lines of every way publicly maintained when any part thereof is open to the use of the public for purposes of vehicular travel

What's a vehicle? Well, under VAT 159 it is defined as

Every device in, upon, or by which any person or property is or may be transported or drawn upon a highway, except devices moved by human power

So is the loop in prospect Park open to public vehicular traffic? No, the answer is definitely no according to parks website

​Park Drives are closed at all times to private and unauthorized vehicles, but actively utilized by park operations vehicles.

I rest my case ... Lol ok, but seriously some lawyer can probably tell me why this is wrong.

About me, Job compensation + benefits, CoL for reference

About me:

• Ethnicity + Name: Indian (south asian) as hell.
• Work experience: 3+ years of co-op / internships. (Didn't matter, read full post). No big name internships, just random startups.
• University: University of Waterloo (Mech eng Bachelors; robotics / AI / ML background)
• Graduated 2023, 2.1 GPA
• Applications sent: over 10,000; this is not a joke. Shotgun approach mostly.
• Interviews: 5. Not 50 or 500, but FIVE.
• Disabilities: Autism / Aspergers. Made the interviews hell for me.

Compensation / Benefits:

• $70,000 Base (salaried, boss doesn't care if I leave early as long as I get work done)
• Work as little time as you want as long as you get the work done. I work 5 hrs a day on average now.
• $10,000-30,000 Profit sharing + Bonuses (directly put into 401k / Roth, company does additional 4x matching for bonuses only; reaching bonuses literally made a senior engineer a multi-millionaire here over 20 years in his 401k).
• Guaranteed raise after 6 months of stay / onboarding finished.
• Subsidized Masters / Ph.D. sponsored by the company.
• Full health + life + vision + dental insurance.
• Contracted inflation pay raise every year.
• Weekly pay.
• Paid maternity + paternity.
• Vacations whenever, just make sure you get your job done on time and let manager know before hand. Any vacation over 1 week must be approved by HR and other management levels. Be reasonable about how often you take it (Senior devs often take 1-2 weeks off every 2 months unless tight deadlines).
• Boss literally told me to go the fuck home when I tried staying overtime out of guilt / confusion.

Cost of Living:

• Low? Breakdown below, idk how to determine.
• Studio apartment + internet + heat + water < $1050.
• Average food cost (groceries + eating out every other day + weekly pizza) < $400.
  • Loaf of bread for reference: $1.99
• Downsides: neighbor won't stop smoking weed; the smell is annoying every Friday. Ugh.
• Downsides: Extremely car-centric area; no public transportation.

Listen to the goddamn Boomers / Gen X folks here

As much as the older folks are 'behind the times', you need to remember who is still disproportionately in charge of companies and how they are structured, even in the tech sector. Hell, I had my dad (the BOOMIEST BOOMER I know) help me out.
I went to my 7th job fair after graduation about 2-3 months ago (Feb 2024) and my dad came with me as moral support. Just as usual with most job fairs, there isn't anyone there actively recruiting for engineering / IT / software roles because of the current market. BUT, my dad was having a 'fun' chat with the CTO of a random medium sized company and they both hit it off HARD. Both of them were born in the same part of India, went to the same temples there, and they just kept on chatting. Next thing I know, this same CTO came to me and asked if I was competent at engineering and he'd like to interview me on the spot, but sadly his company had no open software roles. I agreed.
I shit you not, this test was this simple and BLEW it:

1. What is Ohms law? (I got this right)
2. What is an inverter? (I got this wrong)
3. What is a diode? What is it's symbol? (I got this right)
4. Explain what an LED is and what it's symbol is. (I got this half right)
5. What is the purpose of a rectifier? (I got this wrong)
6. Questions about embedded C/C++ (I don't even know the language well T.T)

Thing is, the interviewer was really interested NOT in my capabilities or even my previous experiences. He was intrigued at just how many questions I asked and how I even asked some questions he didn't know the answer to, and how quickly I learnt the information. He told me to come to the company's HQ because he wanted me to meet the R&D manager.
1 week later
I met the R&D guy. Something I noticed is that this whole department was filled with dinosaurs. Not a single human within a 1 km radius appeared below the age of 50 outside of the technicians / trades folk. These dinos didn't even know how to post a job online without the help of HR (I'm sure everyone here knows how HR writes posts and filters applications). Just after half an hour of talking and the R&D manager apparently loved me because "this kid knows jack shit but he's a sponge, he'll learn faster than anyone else we got", which is apparently what R&D is actively looking for in fresh recruits.
Then bam-bam-boom, I got my position starting at this pay, with a guaranteed pay boost after onboarding + training is finished in 6 months, while I bombed every interview question / test. My position is as an R&D Engineer specializing in Embedded Design / Programming. Hell, one of my first projects is to tinker around and try to create and integrate a custom trained AI model with Altium to see if the autopathing system and autolayouts can be made better and human centric if possible.
I looked into this company's history and they have an average employee tenure of 10+ years without a single person ever being laid off ever since 1985. People wouldn't actively stay at a company that long without job hopping if the pay wasn't satisfactory or if it was toxic. Plus it was written into my contract that base pay is tied to inflation!
What are the lessons here?

1. Don't quit. It's a shitty market, but a 0.01% chance is INFINITELY better than 0% if you stop trying.
2. Have a boomer / gen x person help you network and connect you with other boomer / gen x people. Boomers and Gen X folks hire more based on word of mouth and interactions than younger folk like me who focus on the 'skills' part of the resume.
3. Become a sponge. The more absorbent you are and the more questions you ask, the more the senior engineers will love you and actively want you on their team.
4. Target industries that are filled with older folks in white collar positions (assuming you want white collar positions). Here are some examples:
   1. Metallurgy (filled with trades people and old engineers, they are actively looking for fresh blood in white collar areas).
   2. Agriculture (mechanization).
   3. Carpentry (same as metallurgy above).
   4. Welding companies (they have active R&D for building welding machines, just like metallurgy and carpentry sectors).
5. Learn, learn, and learn. Especially for the first job you get, especially so if you don't have internships / co-op experience, people will look for your ability to learn. How fast can you learn everything we teach you?
6. HR seldom knows what the company wants / needs when they post job listings. Getting out there and talking to NOT the recruiters but the engineers will give you that edge. Bonus points if you also do bullet point 2.
7. Be ambitious with your future goals. Not just pretend; you'll run out of steam. If you are ambitious despite your current situation, people will see it and engineers / senior developers will like it. That was also one of the things a senior there liked about me and explicitly said "you're ambitions behind closed doors, I love it, you'll go far and I hope you take the company there with you; more profits for all of us!".
8. Nepotism isn't the right word for how many here think of the job situation, it's just much MUCH more networking than previously thought. This has it's own issues like for those from disadvantaged / foreign backgrounds, but this world isn't fair, and that won't change reality.

Check my post history to know I was literally in your position just a few months ago. I hope this post helps people.

I have a Kobra 2 and am having g nothing but headaches. It’ll print great for like four prints and then just completely shit the bed. Filament won’t stick to the plate and pops right off and just now while auto leveling the thing drilled into the bed. Was I duped into a shit product?

So basically my question is what settings and lense would be best for trying to get pictures of say the milkyway ? I currently have a Sony SEL 24-105mm f/4,0 G OSS Sony FE-Mount lense. On a Sony A7 III I hope this question can somehow be generally answered... thanks in advance!

First, apologies for the lengthy post…
I'm a new design manager with a new team (5 designers). Three of the designers were previously under Marketing and already have a (waterfall) process, roughly:
Creative brief > Discovery kickoff > Design > Review/Approval > Handoff or Release (very waterfall)
Before I inherited this merged team, marketing designers handled some landing page designs but mostly email, social and various marketing collateral plus brand identity work. All work was in a spreadsheet. Engineering and PMs had no visibility. Heavily siloed
They could be "booked" 6 months out and adhoc requests were difficult to manage and process. Copywriting and translation was also part of the former marketing design team; at least the work was tracked through the same process and person.
The other two designers are UX designers.
UX Design team is new-ish and had no formal process of intake or kickoffs, reviews, etc. with engineering. It was all a bit "feel it out" and it caused a lot of issues, mainly opaqueness, double work, surprises at QA, etc.
Most of the marketing/brand work (social, email assets) don't need to follow UX or Engineering or user stories. But there are points where they intersect (e.g. GTM planning/execution). PMs have complained in the past about having to fill out a creative brief, get it reviewed and then wait for them to put the work on the calendar.
Also, the three designers from the former Marketing team can also fill in at times with the visual design once UX is complete.
UX team doesn't have an intake process. Prior to centralization of design, PMs make a request to individual designers. Each designer was attached to a product.
Product has an intake form across teams, org-wide that goes through a prioritization process. This is roadmap level. What it doesn't consider is the workflow underneath for actual execution.
A few factors I've been thinking about:

• One board for UX and one board for Visual/Brand design work. But will that be harder to track?
• A kickoff meeting or a design/product/engineering project level meeting - not sure what to call it.
• Keep the creative brief? This was used to estimate hours and time to delivery of artifacts.
• How to account for discovery work (research, ideation, framing, etc)
• How to account for future-facing work vs adhoc?
• I've read that ideally we work a sprint or two ahead of dev. It all feels like a hot mess right now, I'm unsure of how to get there.
• Eng/Dev is scrum but there is still a mini waterfall process. PM writing up requirements > goes to design > designer creates wireframes > wireframes to visual > handoff to engineers.
• How to factor in the review process and best cadence
• Design stand ups, grooming backlog, t-shirt sizing?

How to create a process and Jira board structure that works for a centralized design team with different cadences AND align better with engineering?
TY in advance,

Hello dear fellow people,
Another 23589647th post about moving to BC.
Alright so this is the backstory, This is going to be a little long read;
So,
Been thinking about moving to BC from Montreal in the last few months/year, however this post might be different from previous topics posted here because the goal is kind of pretty different and specific;
Looking to experience a different lifestyle in a more quiet area to have some space and lone time while trying to have some social life around from time to time.
It would be a move to some small towns/remote vacant land with not so many people area the main reasons would be not to be around a lot of people and have a peace of mind and to live kind of secluded from the rest of the world and live in semi-autarchy and rely on almost nobody and do stuff like planting /harvesting fruits and vegetables /weed/mushrooms, own a shotgun for self defense and drive a F150, live with a woman and a dog/cat with that comes with it and not be bothered by anybody and be close to the outdoor (parks, ocean, beaches,...) but at the same time as stated earlier be able to participate to some social events from time to time.
It'd be mostly in the Kootenay Lake area which looks pretty nice and can be taken in consideration. The ideal dream would be going to some small towns around Nelson for example with some good communities nearby.
More likely to buy some small vacant land and build a cabin on it potentially. Sadly I don't have a lot of experience/skills in construction but twilling to learn.
About me: late 20s francophone immigrant from Europe who's been living in the country for quite a few years. Single no kids, trying to save as much money as possible.
Jobwise, it would be with a remote job so that wouldn't be an issue regarding bills and expenses but could rethink and reconsider another career path such as trades at some point, there are thoughts about living off the land but that's a whole other level of hardcore living.
Fully aware of the cost living in BC is abysmal (especially real estate) there, however with this lifestyle it might potentially be feasible somehow as expenses would be reduced and it could be the only way to own a home in this country.
There are some concerns and questions though;
People in BC are polite and chill but also passive/passive-aggressive, cliquey and not very accepting to foreigners. How hard is it to make friends there? Isn't there a big NIMBYism mindset in that area?
Since I'm a francophone from Europe, would that cause a problem? Used to live in Toronto and got some snarky remarks at times. Here in Montreal, it's okayish. Also you might find this a little silly, but would it be possible to access some services in French (ie healthcare)?
How is dating overall in BC? For sure options would be limited when you live in secluded areas for sure but how's that different from the east coast?
What about crime? someone from my home country got murdered while on a roadtrip westward to Vancouver.
How about the healthcare situation? Do you have to wait for hours in the ER to see someone? Does it also take months to see a doctospecialist? Is there good quality care though?
And then the wildfires? It really looked completely insane after having looked online and living close to a fire hazard area in the summer would be pretty worrying as it could burn down your house/cabin. With all the health related problems it would cause as well.
Are there any people in this group that are currently living this lifestyle and wouldn't mind sharing a little bit?
For the record, it's still being thought out and this move might happen within the next few years and is subject to change. You still have to learn on how to build and plan accordingly.
Plan on going on a roadtrip and live there for 6 months at least in about a year to taste the water (never been out west before).
Thanks in advance to anyone willing to answer!

I posted my story of my ghoster (ex bf) who ghosted me 21 years ago. When he and I were just 20. We had a long distance relationship for 3.5 years where we traveled countries to see each other. He was truly my first love. I was madly in love with him. Even though he wasn't my first bf. He was the one that mattered and the one that got away. In the end he cheated on me emotionally and then ghosted me while I was back in my home country. It took me 2.5 years to get past that cause he didn't give me any answers. In a matter of weeks we went from planning for me to come and live with him abroad to no contact. I did not see that coming and I was completely in shock, numb, gutted, a dagger in the chest. My first love.. And me being his, he said... Doing that to me.. Nope. I figured out years later he was still with the woman he cheated on me with and she's been making his life a living hell apparantly. He divorced her in 2016 and got together with his new wife after that. And married her last year and has kids with both women. I cried for 2.5 years when he ghosted. Insane. Knowing what I know now.
You guys were very brutally honest. This man doesn't deserve anything from me, you said. I was called insane and stupid to have him in my life again. He's an Asshole, etc. I've been with my current partner for 20 years. And he had seen upclose what the ghosting did to me back in the day and to my trust and said I should confront him. I have the best partner in the world and wouldn't jeopardise that in any way. He is my best friend, my soul mate and we are on the same level emotionally. Both HSP. And we talk a lot and I tell him everything. So I have no romantic interest in my ex bf. He will never be able to get that close to me ever again. Especially not now, now I'm older and noticing it was never me, he certainly has issues that 21 years later he still hasn't addressed.
But then he found me on snapchat last Oct. I had nothing but fond memories of him rushing back in. Memories I had blocked for years. We didn't speak about what had happened and how hurt I was cause I simply did not have those intense memories and feelings when I started talking again. They all hit me later. I've had lovely conversation with him about his kids and his life. I was enjoying it. But I was cautious. Ppl on here told me to break it off with him, that it wasn't fair to my partner. Etc etc. But my partner did not mind. He said I should try and find some closure if that's still possible. My friends said he owes me an apology. And I agreed. I needed an sincere apology.
So i poured my heart out to him, screamed, cried, was upset in the whatsapp. (send him voice memos since he kept saying he couldn't find the time to call) And he apologised trough whatsapp. And over and over again. Saying he was immature. I didn't agree. Ghosting isn't about being immature. It's cruel. And damaging. So I demanded a phone call. He was really trying to tell me on WhatsApp that he'd do anything to help me feel better. So I said I needed a phone call cause I felt he was dodging it. He agreed to ring. But i then noticed he's socially very VERY awkward. Emotionally closed off and suffers trauma. I've worked and work with traumatised ppl and adults who have autism and it hit me there and then: he has both!! And all of a sudden
I started to see the bigger picture. That it was never me asking to much of him. It was him not even being able to have a normal conversation about feelings and emotions. His son is in the process of getting a autism diagnosis as well and he has no idea how to handle it. By experience I can tell he's autistic. He told me what his ex wife did to him and that he never can speak his mind and he never did. She physically and mentally abused him for years. And where our normal gut feeling would be to get the fuck out of a relationship like that. He stayed and thought it was all normal. Until she left him and it started to dawn on him what just happened.
I remember back in the day when I confronted him about his cheating and his sudden distance from me (he breadcrumbed me during the last holiday I was with him for 4 weeks, mind fucking me about him not being sure about us all of a sudden before he ghosted) . And he he had great issues expressing his feelings. I was super mad offcourse. It was life altering for me. The betrayal I felt.. The depression I slipped into. It was real. But I was his age and had no issues with expressing myself. We were 20 so I never thought anything of it.)
He likes to hide behind the computer. Has issues expressing himself can't deal with emotions well. He's been abused by his ex (in his own words: karma) and he still has to deal with her cause they have a son together. It is rather cruel and she is not well mentally so I do feel for him somewhat. But indeed: karma. It's no excuse at all and I'm not trying to downplay anything but I can finally look at it from a distance now and see where his issues lye.
And even though no one advice me to let him back into my life again. I'm glad I did.
On the phone I talked about what the ghosting has done to me in my formative years and what an impact it had. He listened carefully. And told me he could not have handled things worse than he did. He came clean on the emotionally cheating part (he had no choice cause he didn't know I talked to his friends back then and they told me he was lying) and he said he wished he made different choices. It was all very distant. The tone of voice, the way he spoke.. I just got it. We weren't seeing eye to eye. He had no intonation when he speaks, the way he handles things in life, he doesn't notice other ppls emotions and feelings. Even tho he is a kind person.
But I just came to the realisation that having a friendship with him is nearly impossible. Not because of the ghosting. Cause I am willing to forgive him now he's showed me some remorse. No one seems to understood that but a few. I can't hold grudges anymore, it costs energy. I can see he's actually not a bad person, even tho ghosting says everything about him. Even 21 years later it feels he's stuck in a teens way of emotional thinking. And that has helped me to realise that I can't have this friendship with. I was hoping to see him at some point. Me and my partner go to the UK a lot and It would've been possible for me to grab a coffee with him. But i don't think hell be able to handle small talk. It's just so weird that he has these issues and I never noticed back in the day.
Ghosting is never ok. Cause he was able to maintain relationship with his ex straight after he ghosted me. So he was able to have some sort of emotional interaction with ppl. But I don't gel with him now because of his issues and that's helped me to realise that having the ghoster back in your life isn't going to change anything.
I didn't get answers other than that he was immature, a few lame apologies.. But he listened. And I noticed something is up with him. And that has changed my entire perspective. It's no excuse. But I kinda feel sorry for him now. And notice how much I've grown after that. I sought guidance and counseling cause I was depressed. He never addressed any of his trauma. He hides away and freezes when emotions need to be dealt with. He is kind and caring. But it's a very superficial and robot like even.
He is emotionally too immature to have a proper friendship with, in my opinion. So idk if I'll ever see him. Which I hoped for but I now know it's not possible. It'll be an online contact from now on. So I don't feel satisfied at all. I don't have closure or answers. But I do see the bigger picture now. I've never been able to think about him in all these 21 years. It hurt me too much so I blocked things out. It traumatised me very much. The fact that we've shared some fond memories that he certainly hasn't forgotten over all these years was nice. And it has to be enough. I've forgiven him but have now told him I can't do this superficial friendship. And stick to a unpersonal whatsapp contact. Cause I feel that's all he feels comfortable with. With him being autistic and traumatised.
It feels very unsatisfactory, but it is what it is. He can't give me the same level of emotional maturity. Its helped me to move on tho. And we're being civil. How could I have fallen for this emotionally very unstable guy??
Just wanted to share my story.

Hey, I just recently got into korean manwha & chinese manhua after having only read manga before. (*)
I absolutely love Solo Leveling & Tales of Demons and Gods.
So much so that I immediately binged his other work "Star martial god technique" as well.
Besides these two I've never read any manhua. I'm ideally looking for something like ToDaG. If that's not possible: something with:

• action + fantasy
• a likable MC who is clever (like in these two in mentioned)
• weak to strong to stronger (like in these two)
• a good number of chapters while staying interesting throughout
• (ideally some romance elements)
• decent art

((*) Could be JP manga too though, dc as long as it fits.)
Thank you!!

I have a ram 2500 2012 diesel(bone stock). Essentially the title but to explain we gotta go back to 2 years ago. My transmission went, I wanted 800 hp on the truck at some point, so I upgraded, costed around $8k but I missed a thrust washer in between the pump and primary and it smoked itself within 50 miles, costed another 2k to fix what smoked. Well in doing so I got a valve body that needed a tune but the shop didn’t mess around with tunes so they recommended me to a different place. I towed the truck there, dropped it off, had them put the tune on everything worked fine and has ran amazing since. I made the dumb choice to add in a 5 dial engine tune that was supposed to be emissions intact but they messed up and put an emissionsless tune on, did my emissions and gave me my stickers. They then called 2 weeks later and said they messed up, well the truck ran amazing, felt like 100 or so more horsepower so I was very reluctant to take it back in and for various other reasons I decided not to. So I drove like that for a year and went to get it emissions tested and it said everything was “not supported” so obviously I took it back in to them and put the right tune on, However, they said the truck would not accept the tune as the check engine light was on for the egr. Now this is where it gets weird, I put on a trailer probably 6k pounds and went and burned it up a steep hill and the check engine turned off, for about a week. Took it back in that Monday night after they closed, dropped it, went home. Tuesday morning got a call that they still couldn’t get the truck to take the tune. The reason being that the vgt was throwing codes, I drive it home, buy a new turbo, stick it on, dropped it back off and the next morning again another call saying the truck wouldn’t take the tune. This time the reason being this now my nightmare of a code p2002. Now at this point I’m pretty skeptical about there work after looking into the cost of a new dpf and the fact that they could not answer any of my questions regarding what they actually tuned my truck with because they get there tunes from a place called starlight. Now it’s a reputable company and they make great tunes and alot of people use them but their customer service is only open on Wednesday from 1:00 pm - 3:00 pm and that is it. So I take it into a diesel performance shop that is very reputable, which my dad has also been using for years, to diagnose the issue. Now this is where I am completely lost. The guy flashed my ecm with a stock, straight from dodge, tune and test drives it with his reader. Says EVERYTHING is running completely normal, all the numbers are normal, fuel rail, boost pressures, dpf sensors all read at normal levels at all times, regens just fine, dpf fills up and regens properly, they replaced the map sensor and the “ppm?” Sensor which reads back pressure?, etc All in all he kept it and test drove it for 2 weeks and tried everything he could think would cause this and the only thing he noticed was that the egr was not doing exactly what it should.
Now, the truck smokes ( not a lot but enough to see in the day) pretty consistently until under load. Essentially once the turbo kicks in it stops. He told me that the egr is 95% open at idle and takes a little longer to close than it should which I guess isn’t supposed to happen. He put a brand new egr on there and test drove it same thing, smoke whenever there is no boost, egr not doing what it’s supposed to. He then unplugs the egr entirely and guess what zero smoke… whatsoever… not even a puff.
Now after 2 years of cops and dmv lines and impound lots and countless hours googling everything I can find about similar issues, I’m completely lost on what to do now.
He recommends the dealer but he says he knows that they are just going to throw parts at it until it’s fixed. This is likely looking down the barrel of a 7-10k dollar shotgun. Just to find out it’s some dumb sensor or something I am not aware of.
So my questions are; What all in the computer makes the egr valve open? Has anyone dealt with this before? Or even something similar? What would you do in this case? Please ask whatever questions I will gladly answer or look into them.
Sorry if this novel is hard to read I didn’t pay attention much in school