Super nakakatawan jokes quotes

Hello, recently, my friend had a handful of self described "silly episodes" (bursts of high energy). However, the way they talk about it is upsetting to me.
I (18 male) am suffering from bipolar type 2. I have a friend (18 non-binary) who's been going through a long depressive episode. But recently, they had a handful of huge energy bursts where they acted super hyper and a bit out of character. These bursts mostly lasted around 60 minutes, with one of the longer ones being about 2 hours. However, after the first time this happened, they talked to a friend about the situation whilst I was present (and a part of the conversation). They mentioned what they experienced and that they were "very silly" (their words, not mine).
However, this rubbed me the wrong way a bit because they almost seemed proud, or rather show-offy about it. They continued to mention this event multiple times to multiple different people in different conversations, mostly out of the blue, where they made some random joke and would go over to talking about them "being silly" by saying something along the lines of "maybe I should get very silly again." A couple of friends have jokingly said that those events sound like manic depression (those friends don't know I have bipolar.).
I should mention that, judging from my own experiences, I wouldn't have said/guessed that these bursts were a manifestation of bipolar, as, as far as I know, from personal experience, online research, experiences made by friends with bipolar, for some reasons, one being that they were aware they were being "silly" while that was going on, and they always felt it about 10-30 minutes before that they were going to "get silly" (as you might have noticed, I'm really not a fan of that expression). Also, the general circumstances/particular happenings of these "silly episodes" (as they have sometimes called them) didn't give off the same vibe/energy as manic episodes from people I know.
However, the problem I have is not that I wouldn't believe them that they have bipolar, or that these episodes were mania (obv. I'm not a licensed therapist and everyone's experience is never the same etc...). My problem is that it feels like they treat it as a joke, or as something that's just funny to them (I'm not trying to say they are faking this, even if they were, I'd rather believe it not to be true. Also, they don't really have a reason to fake something like this). Whenever they talk about it, it triggers me to a certain extent, I get a bad feeling in my stomach, my mood is instantly ruined and i generally feel upset, you get what I'm saying. I also really really dislike them almost acting/talking like a child when they say "I think I'm going silly again." However, since they ARE going through a hard time, I don't know whether to wait to tell them, which could be a long time at which point there's no point at bringing this stuff up, or I could tell them now... however, I don't even know what to exactly say, as I, besides a couple of things listed here, don't even really know why it triggers me so much/why I dislike it so much when they talk about this the way they do.
Do y'all have any advice and tips I could use? What do you guys think should I do? And how should I talk about this to them?
TL;DR: I have bipolar type 2 and my friend, who's been depressed, had sudden hyper episodes. They joke about it, calling it "being silly," which triggers me. Unsure whether to talk to them now or later, as it's upsetting. Any advice?

Hey all, I made a new account just to keep myself anonymous but my girlfriend (23yrs old) of 3 years has been taking phentermine and she’s always been super playful and everything but I’ve notice a severe turn in her behavior lately ever since she upped her dose of phentermine. She is taking 30mg I’m not sure if that could be the cause of it but I figured it was worth a try asking. Yes we do live in Minnesota and the cold does get to people but we both grew up here so you’d think we’d both be used to it. These past 3 years everything has been pretty smooth like all relationships we’ve had our ups and downs but recently she’s been taking phentermine and to be honest in all regards she has diagnosed autism and she thinks she is on “my 600 pound life” she’s about 5’5 and weighs about 125 pounds. She does not need to be on this medication but she got it somehow and does not listen to me when I tell her she doesn’t need it because she’s not fat at all. Anyways, the real question is why is she getting so mad so fast. Like we were watching tv together all cuddly and I made a comment about her mom’s birthday coming up and I asked her very jokingly “did you forget your mom’s birthday?” She then looked as if I spit in her face and said “Did you forget to leave flowers on your mom’s grave?”
Even for her she has never ever in all the 3 years we’ve been together said something like that. My mother passed away last month and I couldn’t believe she had said that and I was shocked and couldn’t speak. She just pushed me away and kept her distance and didn’t speak to me anymore for about an hour or so.
Then she got to doing the dishes and I was helping gather all the dishes from the kid’s rooms and whatnot and I placed them in the sink and began cleaning them along side her just trying to be a good boyfriend and she asked me “can you get the green thing to clean them right?”
I said “sure” and started looking for the dish soap under the sink and she mumbled something but I didn’t hear because my head was in the cabinet looking for the soap.
I ask her “what did you say babe? I didn’t hear you”
She looks and me and rolls her eyes telling me “you’re f*cking useless”
I’ve never heard her act like this before and up until she started taking this medication and we’ve had no problems in our relationship at all we’ve actually been pretty happy and she’s told me how happy she is and how much she loves me and how lucky she is to have me, but she’s done like a complete 180 and become a phent roid rager if that makes sense.
I feel like I’m not talking to the woman I began dating those 3 years ago. She gets so mad at the smallest little thing. It’s taking a toll on me especially because I’m working 2 jobs one full time and one part time while also going to college to get a degree. I’m a busy person and all I want to do is come home to my lovely girlfriend again.
I feel like I’m losing her to this medication. Please help me understand. Thank you.

I'm usually on the Elder Scrolls side of things, I started with Oblivion when I was 12 on the xbox 360. Then I tried to play Fallout 3, but I didn't make it super far (probably because swords' and magic seemed more interesting to me at the time.) But with the Fallout show out now and my switch to the realm of PC gaming, I'm super interested in the lore, and I want to go around finding the experiments of the vaults. I'm the type of player who tends to ignore the main quest while I go out exploring, finding all the hidden secrets, stories and helping out NPCs with stupid crap. To quote a line from a certain ghoul ' thou shall get sidetracked by bullshit every goddamn time.' fits me to a tee.
There is one quest in particular that I remember from way back then. It had to do with a man named Harold, who got fused with a tree. For some reason that I don't remember, Harold was able to grow new trees and foliage from his roots, and a small village and a weird cult started to form around his existence. However, Harold was doomed to an eternal life of unending existence, with his heart buried underground with his roots. When you meet him, he prompts you to kill him.
I really want to see Harold again. I am pretty sure I killed him last time ( I cried.) This time, for the greater good of the world, I'm going to force him to live against his will. The trees must propagate! The greenery must grow!
Steam ID: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199127185178/

I've been meaning to make this post for a while but life kept getting in the way.
There is a bunch of new (well, new to me) stuff I've discovered over the last few weeks, and wanted to share my thoughts with you.
Let's start with the "prequel" (although never canonically confirmed) to the Marathon series was a game called Pathways to Darkness. The backstory for this game is:

Sixty-four million years ago, a large extra-terrestrial object struck the Earth in what would later be called the Yucatan Peninsula, in south eastern Mexico. The dust and rock thrown up by the resulting explosion caused enormous climactic changes in the ensuing years, and many of the Earth's species became extinct during the long winter that followed.
The object itself was buried thousands of feet below ground, its nearly two kilometer length remarkably intact. It remained there, motionless, for thousands of years before it finally began to stir-- and to dream.

Hmm. Buried below ground. Finally beginning to stir and dream. Who does that sound like?
Let's keep going.

The heat of impact liquefied the rock around it, which later cooled and encased the dead god's huge body far below ground. As it began to dream, it wrought unintentional changes in its environment. Locked deep beneath the Earth, strange and unbelievable things faded in and out of reality. Vast caverns and landscapes bubbled to life within the rock, populated by horrible manifestations of the dead god's dream.

As it began to dream, it wrought unintentional changes in its environment.. Locked deep beneath the Earth, strange and unbelievable things faded in and out of reality.
Like Fingerrats? Or like Spider-wolves?

Vast caverns and landscapes bubbled to life within the rock, populated by horrible manifestations of the dead god's dream.

Caverns and landscapes. I want to expand this point here for a bit because it's also mirrored across Alagaesia.
Let's start with Helgrind.
For any FV enjoyers, I've previously speculated that Helgrind is a reliquary, or a previously living being that was transformed (a la Ctein).
But the curious thing here is the timeline of Helgrind and it's tunnel system, taken with the above context.

Q: Assuming it wasn't built by the Ra'zac themselves, was the lair inside Helgrind purpose-built for the Ra'zac and Lethrblaka, or did they appropriate it some time after it was built? If it wasn't built for them, what was its original purpose?
A: Partially natural formations (linked to tunnels elsewhere in Alagaësia), partly expanded by the priests of Helgrind and Galbatorix himself.

But... The Ra'Zac didn't inhabit Helgrind until at least after the Humans came over. So these tunnels underneath Helgrind existed before the Ra'Zac, or Galbatorix ever set foot on Alagaesia. Which, I don't know about you, but a massive network of tunnels does not smell entirely natural to me.
So.. where else are there "natural" formations that link to other tunnels elsewhere in Alagaesia?
We've seen these "natural" formations in Vroengard:

Q: The deeps under Vroengard, were they created by the riders or was it a previous system of caverns that they repurposed?
A: Previous system. I mean, there's been work done on them, but... 'It looks similar, parts of it feel similar to the caverns that we encountered in this book. They both have that hole in the cave which goes deeper, with something in the hole that's not clearly defined.' Yeah.

And we've seen similar depictions in the Beors, and Nal Gorgoth. So from the Beors to Vroengard, "natural" tunnels exist underground. I don't buy that they are entirely natural.
Given the context of the Marathon game above:

Vast caverns and landscapes bubbled to life within the rock, populated by horrible manifestations of the dead god's dream.

I think these tunnels came from Azlagur.
Let's switch gears here, I want to talk about another archaeological mystery in the world of Eragon - El-Harim.
I believe El-Harim was heavily influenced by the (not canon confirmed, but implied) prequel to the Marathon games, the Pathways into Darkness

Pathways casts the player as a member of a US Army Special Forces team sent on a mission to the Yucatán Peninsula. On May 5, 1994, a diplomat from the alien race known as the Jjaro appeared to the President of the United States and informed him that on May 13, an ancient godlike being sleeping beneath a pyramid would awaken and destroy the Earth. The only way to prevent this catastrophe is to prevent the god from awakening. The eight-man Special Forces team carries a nuclear weapon, with the goal of entering the ancient pyramid, descending to the bottom level where the god sleeps, and activating the bomb to stun the god and bury it under tons of rock.

Getting into a bit more of the backstory:

Only during the last few centuries has the god begun to effect changes on the surface of the Earth. Grotesque creatures have been sighted deep in the trackless forest of the Yucatan, and strange rumors of an ancient pyramid-- which is neither Aztec nor Mayan-- in the same area have been circulating in the archaeological community since the early 1930's.

Pyramid, eh? There are two different options here I can think of that equate.
The extended FWW Map
First, in the extended map from FWW, we can see a Pyramid-esque shape - Different color, different slope, etc.
Or, second (and probably more likely), it could be El-Harim:

It is a very bad place. It’s a place where some bad things happened at one point and it’s not a good place to go walking around. I don’t want to get into it too much more because again, it’s a good possibility for another story and I want to keep thinking about it a bit more. It is in Alagaesia and we’ve actually been close to the location.

Many speculate that the below vision from Eragon in Brisingr, which was never explained in the main cycle, is of El-Harim:

And he rested, and visions beset him of a circular stone city that stood in the center of an endless plain and of a small girl who wandered among the narrow, winding alleys within and who sang a haunting melody (A Feast with Friends, Brisingr).

If this vision IS El-Harim , it's super significant because of these two descriptors:

circular stone city
narrow, winding alleys

Fractals. The city itself is a fractal, like Nidus for any FV enjoyers.
The narrow winding alleys are significant because of the descriptors of the Vanished/Grey folk:

The spaces between the structures were narrower than the humans preferred; the proportions were taller, thinner, which matched the images she had seed of the Vanished...
The ancient outline of the city was - as she suspected - a fractal, and the shape of it contained meaning.... At the nexus of the apttern, where it coiled in on itslef like a nautilus shell" (Shards, TSIASOS).

Narrow. Circular (Nautilus shell). Winding. Fractal.
Whatever this city is, El-Harim or otherwise, it is/was a grey folk/vanished city.
And given the quotes from above - "Its a place where some bad things happened at one point", and "dangerous, creeping, ancient, evil thing" - My guess is that the event that caused the Grey Folk to bind the AL to magic happened here, in El-Harim.
Alright, moving along.
Let's talk about the Az and the God. There are a few parallels I've talked around, but the BIG link between the two are Dreams. This is especially important because of the release of the world map recently.

We are the devotees of Azlagur, the Devourer. Azlagur the Firstborn. Azlagur the Dreamer. He who sleeps and whose sleeping mind weaves the warp and weft of the waking world. But the sleep grows restless" (Obliteration, Murtagh).

Versus

As it began to dream, it wrought unintentional changes in its environment. Locked deep beneath the Earth, strange and unbelievable things faded in and out of reality. Vast caverns and landscapes bubbled to life within the rock, populated by horrible manifestations of the dead god's dream.

I could write a whole post about the parallels between the two and their linkage to dreams, but I'll cut it short here for now to save room to dig in to other areas. Specifically, the Dreams connection is especially important because of the relase of the world map recently - I have another post here that gets into more detail, but the translations from the World Map in the middle translate to:

where dreams and dragons dwell

Dreams (!) and Dragons.
Combine that with the Etymology of the words:

Alagaësia ala = land gaësia = rich/fertile
Alalëa ala = land lëa = a beautiful dream
Elëa = the dream itself

So the planet, named Elea, translates to "The Dream Itself". Very interesting.
This is even more significant when you take into account this tweet chain from Chris, a bit earlier in March

Darn it. Just invented a name in the ancient language. Googled it to make sure no one else had used it ... only to discover that I had used it in an earlier book. Lol.
Can we ask what name?
Edurna

I believe the name was a potential candidate for the name of the planet of Alagaesia, which is important because of the etymology of THAT name (All credit to Zora for digging this one up).

Edurna sounds awfully like Adurna and Edur
Adurna meaning water and Edur being a prominence

Prominence. And Water. You know what that sounds like to me? Plaintive Verge. Just food for thought.
Second-to-last Az connection I want to cover: Hunger.

Whirling darkness swallowed him, and at the center of it... lay a formless horror - ancient and evil and from which emanated a constant merciless hunger (Dreams and Portents).

Versus a quote about the cosmic entity in Marathon:

Now I fear what that weapon has unleashed will destroy us. I once boasted to be able to count the atoms in a cloud, to understand them all, predict them, and so did I predict you, but this new chaos is entirely terrible, mindless, obeying rules that I don't comprehend. And it is hungry.

Now, the last piece of Azlagur-related lore I want to cover here is the "Black Sun".
In all of the visions, a Black Sun precipitates Azlagur's rise.

"A black sun rimmed by black flame hung against a darkling sky... The beast rose rampant against the black sun - A wingless dragon, apocalyptic in size, terrifying in presence. Destroyer of hope, eater of light"

Before getting into the Black Sun a bit more, there's an additional connection here I want to touch on - usage of the word rampant in connection with Azlagur.

In Marathon, Rampancy is the enhanced self-awareness of a computer AI, causing a progression towards greater mental abilities and destructive impulses. The destructive impulses, however, are primarily caused by being threatened or harassed. There are three main stages, as well as a fourth and final stage that is rarely achieved, to rampancy, named by the primary attitude of the AI during those times: Melancholia, Anger, Jealousy, and Meta-Stability.

There are some overlaps with what we see from the Maw.
And Melancholia.. that's an interesting word. Especially when taken into context the meaning of the name:

A melancholy dream of great beauty.

Melancholy.. Dream... The pieces of the puzzle are coming together. And Rampant...
Chris also uses that exact same verbiage when discussing a deleted scene from TSIASOS:

Q: I just finished reading To Sleep in a Sea of Stars and I have to know: it sounds like the Wranaui fought the corrupted during the Sundering but if that's true and it happened almost 300 years prior.... Who created the old corrupted? I've been questioning this for days!
A: That was actually in material cut by editors (some of the dream memories). Another Seed/Idealis was damaged and, when the Old Ones tried to separate it from its host, the xeno went rampant.

The xeno went rampant. Very interesting.
Alrighty, I keep getting distracted, back to the black sun.
The reason the Black Sun is important is because it always precipitates Azlagur's rise, throughout several of Murtahgh's visions. In each of them, there is a Black sun.
So, by this, we can extrapolate that the sun needs to be Black in order for Azlagur to rise (which is hinted at at the "Day of Black Sun" celebrations near the end of the book).
But... what does it actually mean?
There is a parallel in Marathon, their weapon:

The trih xeem (also "tri xeem") is an extremely powerful weapon that can be used to force a star into early nova... it was originally conceived and built by the Jjaro [The Old Ones/Vanished equivalent]. Much of the Marathon Infinity story revolves around preventing the Pfhor from using the tri xeem and inadvertently releasing a W'rkncacnter that is supposedly trapped within the Lh'owon sun.

So, the story of the last Marathon games revolves around preventing the usage of the weapon to release the cosmic-level baddie trapped in the sun. So, effectively, the antagonist is imprisoned by the sun.
But.. how does that translate to Azlagur and Murtagh?
The Black Sun requirement for Azlagur's rise could be construed as "imprisonment" by the sun; Azlagur cannot escape until the sun is turned Black. But it only really starts to come together when you piece together these pictures.
First, early concept art for the Fractalverse
You see the black orb, heading directly for the glowing star? Sounds pretty similar.
But that's not the smoking gun; look at the depiction of the black orb in the concept art, and compare it to the trih xeem, the weapon in Marathon.
A black orb with a trail heading directly for the sun. Almost an exact match.
OK.. so I get that it has some relevence in fractalverse, but how does it translate to Eragon?
Well, because of the Beors. Specifically, a picture CHRIS HIMSELF posted about the Beors.
Here
I propose that THIS black orb, at the top of the Beors (which, suspiciously, no one has traveled to) houses the black weapon. After all, the depiction is quite similar - A large, circular, black orb. Looks pretty similar to the other pictures.
And given the above context that Azlagur can only rise with a "Black Sun", the pieces all start to fit together. It's not perfect, but there are definitely a lot of overlaps.
Alright. I've been waiting for this one. The last piece. Let's talk about Angela.
Q: Will we get Angela lore? I feel like she could have killed Galbatorix and just didn't feel like it.
A: For those who don't know Angela is based on my sister Angela, because she breaks the fourth wall to a degree she has. Not only does she have plot armor, she knows she's in a story and can break the story itself. So, yes, she could have killed Galbatorix, but that would have made for a very bad story. That said, I do have an entire book planned around Angela, and it's very high on my list of books to write because it takes place before some of these other big stories I want to write. And that's also the difficult thing. I have my big storylines, and then I have a couple of one off side books I want to write, and it's just a question of time, energy and effort.
She knows she's in a story, and she can break the story.
Based on that, and several other descriptions I will get into in a bit, I think her story is directly related to the Marathon Infinity game.

Marathon Infinity begins as the Pfhor destroy Lh'owon using a Jjaro-derived doomsday weapon known as the Trih Xeem or "early nova". Unfortunately, the weapon also releases a powerful chaotic being: The W’rkncacnter, which threatens to destroy the entire galaxy. Because of the W’rkncacnter's chaos or by means of some Jjaro tech of his own, the player is transported back and forward in time, finding himself jumping between timelines and fighting for various sides in a desperate attempt to prevent the chaotic being's release.

and

In Marathon Infinity, a W'rkncacnter is imprisoned in the sun of planet Lh'owon. It is theorized by some that the W'rkncacnter's powerfully chaotic nature may be responsible for the jumps between realities seen in the game. When the Pfhor use a trih xeem device to send the star into early nova, the creature is released, to the horror and destruction of the Pfhor.

Angela is the Eragon-equivalent of the player.
She can transport back and forward in time, jumping between timelines, and fighting to prevent the chaotic being's (Azlagur's) release. Let's dive in.
First:

Q: Is it canon that Angela the Herbalist is a Time Lord and did she make a cameo in To Sleep in a Sea of Stars?
A: Is Angela the Herbalist is a Time Lord? That would be copyright infringement, so I'm going to say "no comment", but she is in To Sleep in a Sea of Stars. And there is a canon reason for this. And you should have no problem spotting who she is in that book.

So there's a canon reason she's in the book. Interesting. When you take that into context with the next bit

Q: On your last AMA on reddit, someone asked if any fan had guessed the identity and history of Angela correctly. You said nobody has guessed correctly and there's not enough information in the books to do so. That puts every fan theory out there on her wrong, correct? She's not the soothsayer, a time lord, grey folk, etc, correct?
A: Angela: Some of the fan theories have gotten parts of her history and identity correct. However, there's a HUGE aspect to her nature that no one has guessed (or least, not in a non-joking way). And no, I don't mean her being a Time Lord.

So there's a huge aspect to her nature that no one has guessed (at least at the time of writing). She's self-aware, knows she's in a story, and can jump around in time. And, similar to the Marathon games, it appears like only she knows that she's in a story.
So, based on the Marathon inspiration, we can guess that she is trying to accomplish the same thing - To prevent the release of the cosmic-level villain. We know that she has some kind of relationship with the Draumar:

In Murtagh, it’s revealed that Bachel and “Uluthrek” (Mooneater, Angela’s given Urgal name) met with Bachel explicitly going out to confront her (a courtesy not even offered to a Rider like Murtagh)

So, by extension, she has some kind of connection to Azlagur. This is supported by other circumstantial evidence in FWW as well:

Since we know that the Dream Well in Mani's Caves is similar to the Well in Nal Gorgoth I can assume that Angela is revealing the existence of the Draumar to Elva there? I feel certainly feel as if you're setting up her for something in the future series.
Heh. Good Catch.

So, she is clearly working with Elva to do something related to the Dream Wells, and she also previously confronted Bachel, many years ago. So throughout multiple years across the WoE, she is connected to Azlagur and the Draumar; her story clearly revolves around them/Azlagur, somehow.
Putting the above pieces together, my guess is that she is jumping around in different timelines, trying to manipulate actions of the past to prevent the rise of Azlagur. Just like the player character in Marathon. There's another piece of circumstantial evidence to support this assertion as well.
In Marathon Infinity:

After multiple "jumps," the player (seemingly the only one who realizes he is being transported between possible realities)

Versus Angela:

As hours passed, the stars turned above, night chill drew the heat from my body, and I fell into a curious trance, not asleep but not fully awake... The world altered" (On the Nature of Stars, FWW).

I believe this world "Altering" was the first time she experienced an alternate timeline, without knowing what it was at the time.
We've also seen her create "Doorways" as well - Although it's not clear if this is fast traveling (a la a Torque Gate), or truly opening a path to another timeline.
In Eldest:

"As they landed, he noticed a patch of white on a small hill nearby. The patch wavered strangely in the dark, like a floating candle, then resolved into Angela, who was wearing a pale wool tunic" (A Sorceress, a Snake, and a Scroll).

and then later, more concretely:

"I traced a line on the wall, reached out, and opened a door that wasn't there. ON the other side - nighttime, a beach by a black ocean lit only by stars, so many, many stars, more than there should be. Of course, I would not take Elva to my home, not yet. But this was a waypoint, a place to build and learn and grow... She stared into the gap, the impossible portal" (On the Nature of Stars, FWW).

Still, as always with Angela, so many questions.
Alright, we've reached an ungodly wordcount, so I'll call it here. There are still more connections I'm uncovering between the two series (such as the potential connection between the Gedway Ignasia and the "warning" sensation from Marathon), so I might make a follow-up post in the future with everything else I uncover.
As always, thanks for reading! Let me know what you think in the comments, or if you've found any other connections between the two.

Hi everybody, please bare with me as English isn't my first language and this is gonna be a long read.
My (F27) partner (M30) have been together for almost 5 years. When first dating we discussed a lot stuff like do's and don'ts, one of those was pornography.
He told me he (almost) never watched pornography. When asked why he told me it just wasn't really his thing and usually would pleasure himself in the shower (quick n easy).
A year into the relationship I saw he had some nude pictures on his phone, which he eventually deleted.
Today I found he has thousands and thousands of nude pictures on his laptop which go back years..(2016-2018). This laptop was bought in August 2023 and is connected to some kind of server he saves some of his files on.
I feel betrayed honestly. I don't know what to do.. bring it up? Leave it be? We're already in couples therapy because he basically abused me multiple times. About 2 years ago we were already struggling in our relationship mainly because he was never home, and when he was home he would game etc. Eventually he started waking me up for intimacy by touching me in private areas. After 2 times of that happening I told him that I didn't like it (seeing our relationship and communication were in serious trouble), and asked if he could stop initiating intimacy like that. I told him that I would very much like to grow back closer to each other, but that we both had to work on that and our communication/trust.
Not even 2 days later he did it again, and once again I had a conversation with him where I told him how it made me feel used. He promised to not do it again. He did though, multiple times and we had multiple fights over it. I slept for months on the couch until I had enough money saved to buy myself a bed for in the spare room.
Before we agreed to going to therapy I told him he would have to agree on not touching me in any way since the trust was gone and we had to basically "date all over again". He agreed, but a few days later he spanked me on my ass when walking by, made sexual jokes etc and then I found a piece of my clothing dirty.. he had used it to clean himself after having fun because and I quote "I didn't have anything else" note; there were multiple different things laying around he couldve used, or he couldve gotten up and walked 10 steps to the bathroom.
We had our first therapy session yesterday.. which we had a fight about right after because I told him that I didn't appreciate him not bringing up the abuse in the therapy session and leaving it up to me. (The only problem he had told the therapist was communication).
What do I do? Should I confront him about the pictures and if so, how?
TL;DR: my partner of 5 years has his laptop full of nudes while we already discussed that its not okay and we have issues & couples counceling already.. Should I confront him and if so, how?

preface; i grew up very secluded and rarely had attention on me, I tend to crave it from whoever. I uprooted that life and moved across the usa. it’s like a rose tinted glasses thing, i’m breaking that habit now.
i (20 f) moved and my boyfriend broke up with me right before that so i’ve been lonely for a bit. i started working yesterday and it’s at a job where everyone is legal which is a first for me bc im younger. this guy (21m) was talking about superheroes, im a geek about them so i entertained the convo when i got a chance hoping to make friends. at the end of my shift, he got my number. “to uh… talk about superheroes” sURE LMAO
so, right off the bat i knew he had a crush on me, he’s a year older than me, he’s in college. he thinks he’s big shit. he is not. he kinda looks like shaggy and dresses like a great grandpa.
i kinda dug him unfortunately but this is too comfy for the second day
i admittedly indulged in a lot of talk over facetime today, it’s obvious what he wants. it’s weird bc i know he just wants to sleep with me but it’s like a weird amount of pressure to just do it?? im new, it’s not fair he’s targeting me tbh.
he made a lot of non appropriate jokes that i indulged in but i feel super gross about now. i know i led him on. i just didn’t understand he wasn’t what i wanted at the time.
i did want him to leave me alone by the end of it. 5 hours spent walking around my fucking house bc i don’t know him and he’s talking so i feel like i have to actively listen bc he never really let me talk??? he was very chatter box-y
i legit sat there with my sister talking to her because she came in my room and i wanted him to hang up, he isat there for thirty minutes went “aight… im goin ta bed, goodnight” and then sent me a goodnight text??
he also said he was going to bring me a superhero book and grab his charger. the thing is is i don’t really wanna deal with that, im kinda ‘huh’ abt it, don’t do that shit
i legit mentioned all my weird interests too, nothings disinterested him, it’s frickin weird
i do kinda have him eating out of my palm already tho but i dont like it, it feels strange yk

Hi everybody, please bare with me as English isn't my first language and this is gonna be a long read.
My (F27) partner (M30) have been together for almost 5 years. When first dating we discussed a lot stuff like do's and don'ts, one of those was pornography.
He told me he (almost) never watched pornography. When asked why he told me it just wasn't really his thing and usually would pleasure himself in the shower (quick n easy).
A year into the relationship I saw he had some nude pictures on his phone, which he eventually deleted.
Today I found he has thousands and thousands of nude pictures on his laptop which go back years..(2016-2018). This laptop was bought in August 2023 and is connected to some kind of server he saves some of his files on.
I feel betrayed honestly. I don't know what to do.. bring it up? Leave it be? We're already in couples therapy because he basically abused me multiple times. About 2 years ago we were already struggling in our relationship mainly because he was never home, and when he was home he would game etc. Eventually he started waking me up for intimacy by touching me in private areas. After 2 times of that happening I told him that I didn't like it (seeing our relationship and communication were in serious trouble), and asked if he could stop initiating intimacy like that. I told him that I would very much like to grow back closer to each other, but that we both had to work on that and our communication/trust.
Not even 2 days later he did it again, and once again I had a conversation with him where I told him how it made me feel used. He promised to not do it again. He did though, multiple times and we had multiple fights over it. I slept for months on the couch until I had enough money saved to buy myself a bed for in the spare room.
Before we agreed to going to therapy I told him he would have to agree on not touching me in any way since the trust was gone and we had to basically "date all over again". He agreed, but a few days later he spanked me on my ass when walking by, made sexual jokes etc and then I found a piece of my clothing dirty.. he had used it to clean himself after having fun because and I quote "I didn't have anything else" note; there were multiple different things laying around he couldve used, or he couldve gotten up and walked 10 steps to the bathroom.
We had our first therapy session yesterday.. which we had a fight about right after because I told him that I didn't appreciate him not bringing up the abuse in the therapy session and leaving it up to me. (The only problem he had told the therapist was communication).
What do I do?
TL;DR: my partner of 5 years has his laptop full of nudes while we already discussed that its not okay. What do I do?

IMO the next COD (if it even actually happens) does not need a battleroyal. Leave the BR for MW3 and just have multiplayer and zombies (maybe a new gamemode but IDK). but the battle royal concept has gone way over stale. especially with resurge. Resurge (ranked most of the time) make me want to rip the skin off of my body. I play super aggressively with tonfas (only started yesterday bc people where just blistering me and tonfaing me) no one dies and everyone just camps and holds hands. I play slow and methodical and I get full rushed by 2-3 teams at once. I think my best placement tonight was 7th bc no one was dying all game. I have a duo but no third so we get stuck with the most god-awful teammates 90% of the time. I'll also have like 2000 damage and 2 kills or 5k damage and like 4 kills. its insane. I just dont understand. I have been on a steady drop for about 2 weeks and it all started once I got almost to diamond 2. like is the entire lobby Smurf accounts/ boosters. is there any way cod could ban people paying for those services? Im like almost 200 kills away from the ranked camo this season too. went from playing for 3-4 hours and droping 50-70 kills and assists to play for 3-hours and barely dropping 20. This isn't even mentioning the dude in my warm up matchs that killed be an by duo in 5 bullets a piece with a striker 9. that isnt even possible. no joke I died in like .2 seconds which is crazy. I spectated till death and watched him 2 hit crack a dude with the same striker. I just dont understand any more. some sort of damage increasing hack???? Skill based damage??? I just dont understand.

Hi! I'm the bf of a gf who's been accepted to both JHU and UW Seattle for mech engineering. I'm super proud of her, and we've been weighing the pros/cons of going to each school, but it's been super difficult to decide. We're both from WA (I've also been accepted to UW Seattle for CS), so she'd be a in-state student. She's committed to JHU (just because the deadline is earlier than UW's, and she's heavily considering JHU), but still thinks about UW as an option. Some background, she's worked really hard in HS, taking on a contractor job at Boeing, has done a Museum of Flight program, done a bunch of 3D modeling/printing work. She's always been a learner, trying to learn more and doesn't want to stop learning. So that's where the line comes with UW and JHU. Here's what we have so far:
UW: - "meh" mech engineering program, she's heard that it's mostly theoretical (just design practice), less hands-on - unable to double major - about 15k a year, would commute for at least first year, considering other options in seattle after - grand total, 60k undergrad, 40k masters (?) = 100k for 6 years-ish

• opportunities at Boeing are almost guaranteed, because she made some lasting connections over there from her summer contract. She does mention, though, that she doesn't want to limit herself to Boeing.
  
• "comfortable", as quoted from her.
  

JHU: - 2nd in the country biomedical engineering (she is interested in that, along with mech) things like bionics is something she finds really interesting

• able to double major in biomedical and mech engineering
  
• about 89k a year (this is a big part that we're concerned about) - grand total, 5 years, about 500k
  
• she's a bit of a explorer, which i love about her, but... she's pretty impulsive. Therefore, the safety of the area of Baltimore is a bit of a concern as well
  
• she also wants to push her boundaries, to see what it's like living away from home and surviving independently
  
• extensive masters + bachelors program for mech engineering (both at the same time), in 5 years
  

I'm excluding the "we're gonna miss each other" part, but I want her to put her education and her aspirations before me.
From the start, she's liked both schools, as they both seem like really really good opportunities. Oh and also - her parents are willing to contribute about 10k per year to UW, and will probably do slightly more for JHU. Not covering all though, because 89k is a lot. She'd have to take out loans.
At this point, it's really about the cost, and the reward. Is the 89k a year worth it? She's also considered that at UW, she'll make it out of undergrad pretty much debt free, while saving up more during that time. NO financial aid from either school.
She's mostly scared that she's gonna miss out on a huge opportunity. So.. any advice, or has anyone gone through either of the programs?
Also - if this means anything as to what she can do, she got waitlisted at caltech. She didn't really apply to any of the Ivys, because she thought they were out of reach, and JHU was just one that she shot off an application to last second, just for the fun of it. She does regret not applying to other schools now, but that's a different occasion.

Just after some advice on battery replacement for a 2016 Mini Cooper here is Australia. A new battery costs between $450 - $650 from super cheap etc and do it yourself but when I called Mini they quoted $990 including coding?? What’s the coding and does it need to be done if you replace the battery yourself?

Hi, I’m super new to yugioh and am currently running a traptrix deck. I usually play on Dueling Nexus, though I’ve been losing quite badly pretty consistently. I’m not sure if it’s because of the Dueling Nexus player base’s skill or if my deck just really sucks, because I feel like I should be doing way better. Can you guys please let me know if I should change anything? Thank you.
Main:
Monsters
1 Heavenly Prison, 3 Atrax, 2 Dionaea, 2 Myrmeleo, 2 Mantis, 1 Vesiculo, 3 Mystic Tomato (this is just for an inside joke with my friends and I), 2 Arachnocampa, 1 Genlisea, 1 Pudica,
Spells/Traps
1 Harpie’s Feather Duster, 2 Cosmic Cyclone, 2 Burden of the Mighty, 1 United we Stand, 2 Trap Hole, 2 Infinite Impermanence, 2 Evenly Matched, 2 Dark Mirror Force, 2 Deep Dark Trap Hole, 2 Bottomless Trap Hole, 2 Trap Hole Nightmare. 2 Gravedigger, 2 Acid Trap, 3 Mirror Force, 1 Torrential Tribute, 2 Floodgate, 2 Holeutea, 1 Traptrip Garden, 3 Grave of the Super Ancient Organism, 1 Dimensional Barrier,
Extra:
3 Pinguicula, 3 Allomerus, 2 Bagooska, 2 Rafflesia, 1 Underworld Goddess, 3 Atypus, 1 Sera,
PS: I feel like all my opponents have way higher attack power which has been a huge problem for me. Also, I know people recommend using Parallel Exceed but personally I don’t really see how it’s helpful, maybe im just not really sure how it works or what it does.

Having played Royal, Golden, Reload, Portable, Dancing, Ultimax, Strikers, and Tactica, I decided to try Q and have just reached the first game’s third dungeon. And wow - it has some really amazing and fun gameplay.
There are so many aspects to it which make it super enjoyable. I’ve heard it’s very similar to Etrian Odyssey, so maybe a lot of these are shared with that but I’m not sure:
Sub-Personas - Tactica has these, but they only add so much due to only have one fixed slot and one inherited slot for skills. In Q, sub-Personas have 6 slots, which adds an enormous extra layer of strategy that makes every character feel as valuable in combat as Makoto/Yu.
Money - I’m playing on normal, and money feels like a lot more of a valuable commodity here than in mainline Persona. Usually, it piles up and up until I’m basically just buying everything I see willy-nilly. Conversely, I actually have to strategise with whether to prioritise items, weapons, armour, accessories, summons, healing, etc.
HP and SP - The problem with mainline Persona games is that, especially in the early game, you are always conscious of using SP because you will run out very quickly. The game wants you to come back another time with renewed SP, but when you have to max out social links minimising your time in a dungeon is vastly preferable. As a result, I often end up doing normal attacks, which ends up being quite boring. In Q, your HP and SP are tied to your sub-Persona, which lends you a certain amount automatically at the start of every battle. This is great because it strikes a perfect balance between feeling like you can never use your skills and feeling like you can use them ad nauseam. You also have to distribute your HP and SP buffer strategically, as you’ll want Kanji to have a lot of extra HP for physical skills, but Naoto to have plenty of extra SP for insta-kills, say.
Dungeon-crawling - Dungeons are really well-designed and feel like a pleasure to traverse. Shadows are always a threat because of random encounters, which is preferable to something like Reload in which you can easily just run away from them (probably the worst change from earlier P3 games imo). I like having to manually keep track of where everything is in the dungeon, and there’s a decent balance of social hijinks and actual traversal, which is what makes Shido’s Palace really fun for me. Special events in the dungeons’ nooks and crannies make everything feel more fresh, in a way which even P5 doesn’t replicate in its more scripted dungeon novelties, nor P3 or P4 in their randomly-generated samey hallways.
Difficulty - I’ve died more in Q than I ever have in a mainline Persona game, and I think that it strikes a better balance with hard bosses and enemies that screw me over a lot. All-out attacks are also more unexpected, so it feels extra rewarding to pull of a solid set of moves.
The boost system - Another way HP and SP is handled better is in its reduction to a cost of 0 after a successful ‘weak’ or ‘critical’ attack. This rewards you for playing strategically, and opens up your options as you can pull back your attacks to heal, carry on racking up boosts, or transfer to a different sort of move entirely. Plus, being hit while boosted is another obstacle to victory which helps to balance out the difficulty.
Leader and navi skills - I like that Fuuka and Rise feel much more useful, because there are so many tools with which to customise their arsenal. I like to have Fuuka run a move which teleports everyone back to the floor’s entrance, because it’s more foolproof than escaping and can be used for traversal.
Party layout - I like that the party is five strong, which is necessary in a game with so many party members as Q. But more importantly, the front and back layers add another degree of depth, though I’ve yet to move around in combat, despite that being an option.
Quests - These mostly come with some interesting joke, like Teddie trying to find a love potion or Junpei trying to anonymously set up a date with the P4 girls. They’re fun, and having EXP as a reward is also cool.
The only complaint I have is shared with my remonstration with Tactica, which is that sub-Personas often feel a bit suboptimal. You only have so many Personas at your current level, especially when fusion is so costly. Therefore, you often end up loading teammates up with Personas several levels lower than yours. I’m not really sure how one would fix that, though. Great game, anyway.

I am at a hopeless rock bottom right now and it isn't making any sense to anyone, so I am going to try here. It is going to be a long one, so please bare with me.
I grew up in a family where love was limited and conditional, for myself and between my parents. I had watched my parents beg each other for the minimal respect, change, and genuine love. I had too begged for those things from them, in which I eventually developed this disorder.
I have struggled with the obsession of love/true love/soulmates my entire life. I have had countless favorite people, in which I would have given ANYTHING to be reciprocated the kind of love I was willing to give.
And in all of these endeavors, I acknowledged I do not love correctly. I realized this when I got out of my first relationship when I was 18. I have dedicated the last few years to unlearning these things. I still struggle with the want to control, the games I want to play, the general pull and push. I have been trying.
I have acknowledged that what I envisioned love in my head is wrong. Love isn't the constant fight for reassurance or the constant proving myself as worthy. It isn't the begging, fighting, or the challenge.
I have told myself for years, love is in the little things. Love is learning a song on the guitar cause they would love it, memorizing their order so you can surprise them, or bringing a jacket cause you know they would forget one. Love is the small laughs over inside jokes, the loud laughs over little fails, and the shared memories that were created on accident.
Love was supposed to be in the little things.
But over the last few months, I have been shown a dark side of it.
I was on a work trip.
One of my supervisors gave long speeches at dinner about his fiancé and how their wedding in June is going to be the best day of his life. That same night, we went out for a few drinks. He proceeded to send a few other girls and I messages about "spending the night with him." He went on the next day like it was a usual occurrence for him.
I was utterly disgusted. My gut sat in my stomach for days.
Another one of my supervisors on this trip did something some what similar. He is "happily" married to his wife of 17 years with young daughters. But as happy as this man is at home, he hit on every waitress, took up countless numbers, and would disappear for days at a time.
Again I was disgusted. I could've easily said this was the work of nasty people, but it got worse...
Once again, on this trip... one of my dear friends/coworker spoke about his plans to propose to his 5 year girlfriend. We were all beyond happy for him. But within the night, he made a closer relationship with another one of our close friends. He started confiding in her of his doubts, how he is not happy, and he doesn't know what else to do, but marry her anyway. He then dedicated the rest of this two week long work trip to his new found interest in his friend. He gave her a sweet little nick name, held her hand, and walked her to and from everywhere they went.
I was very dumbfounded by this information. I was under the impression that they were happy at home and that they had found something people prayed for, but I was wrong.
When I returned home, I received some also unsettling news.
One of my best friends found out she was pregnant by her boyfriend (who is a very very close friend of mine as well). I have known her boyfriend and his family for 10 years, they have been incredible and wonderful people to me and everyone I know. So for the last 7 months, I have watched them prepare for this baby. They are building a house together along with a life and family. She was so excited. But as of last week, she informed me of him entertaining random women online. She said he described it as a thing that didn't happen before and he did not know who she was.
But Saturday, her and I sat down and talked a lot about it. Turns out, he lied again. He had been seeing these women their ENTIRE relationship. They are having a baby and he is out there with "random women" who he has been seeing for years.
I thought I knew him better, but I am incredibly disappointed. This particular event has triggered me beyond belief. I had watched them do my healthier version of love for a long time, only to find out it was one sided.
I began to look at all the long term relationships that have been shown to me in my life. My parents, never have been happy. My aunt and uncle who have been together since they were 14, have one conversation a day about the coffee machine. My friends from high school, who went literal years of break ups and cheating to now hitting 6 years. My friends parents, who have cheated divorced and remarried several times. My other friends parents, who have been on the verge of divorce over small things several times. And now all of these...
I struggle with what is real and what is not. I struggle with trust, intimacy, and connection. But I have been trying to get better with the hope that one day I can be good to someone and they be good to me. I have never cared about money, a nice car, nor a large house. I want to love and be loved and raise a happy family in the healthiest way I can. All in the hopes that i can experience love in the little things, like how I imagined real love to look.
Now I don't know what love looks like. All of my ideas have been disproven. My dreams have been crushed. I am fighting the urge to recluse and regress in all of my efforts in vulnerability, but I am distraught.
I feel like love romantic love is not real anymore.
I am honestly taking this more towards men than women, because of my sexual orientation and just from personal trauma, but I know that I am not supposed to do that.
I am turning away from a connection I have been trying hard to sustain and be healthy in, all because I am triggered by the actions of other men, my fears, and my new found hopelessness in love.
And everyone I talk to says this quote I have heard a million times, "I know love exists because of the love I give." I understand that love is real, logically, but i want to experience it. I want to know what it feels like to love and be loved, equally and truly.
But is the pain and dishonesty truly worth it? Is it something I would have to put up with to experience long term?
How do I even begin to when given this example of modern day "commitment."
What do I do? Before I ruin the connection I am building. How do I let go of the fear of being hurt so I can learn to love?

so I just first wanted to say that this is ongoing if this might blow up in going to consider making another post. So me M and this Girl F, which we'll call Koreaboo for the sake of privacy, have had problems in the past due to me not having an interest in her because I am happily taken. We went to the same mixed volleyball group, which is important. As I had to choose between Friday and Monday, I chose Friday because more of my friends were there but as a couple months passed they allowed us to also go back to the Monday group for some reason. My 2 friends have also a big role in this both F I will be calling one Gwen and the other one Shorty so basically they are also friends with Koreaboo and because we have to pair up with only 2 people Gwen is left out and so I started asking Koreaboo if she'd come to training. So now to the main part on Monday, I got called outside by my teacher because Koreaboos parents want to sue me because I apparently told her I'd break all her bones if she didn't come which I find super weird so the quick run down what happened was it was the 2nd break and I asked koreaboo if she'd come today and after a couple minutes again so she responded "okay" in which I jokingly replied with "if you won't come I'll slap you" which I didn't say in a mean demeanor I said it laughing and not all tough. When I got the information that they wanted to press charges because I threatened to break all her bones which I didn't I was shocked and asked a mutual friend if I really threatened her she said no because she was there all the time and so I asked my friends and even her friends that were there and they all said that they received it as a joke and were shocked when I told them what happened her best friend which I'll call Delaware texted her later on and sent me screenshots we got into talking and apparently I also threatened to hit her with a ball? which I never did or at least I couldn't remember so I asked my friends in our group chat they all responded that I didn't so I'm not sure how it's going to go on but her parents are going to have a talk with my mother even though id prefer my sister because my mother doesn't have that kind of time and my step fathers German is not very good I'll update if I can and would appreciate some advice. and sorry bad grammar

Ohmygod guys i still cant believeee. Last month we recently had our hardest exam sa med, during the class, may na mumble lang naman ako na mali “mumble” so ako and ung katabi ko lng nakarinig.
Ampocha sinabihan ako ng tanga pero in a joking way kase medj close kame nun, super na off ako, ginamit ko talaga na motivation everytime na tinatamad ako ni re replay kosa utak ko ung sinabi niya.
GUESS WHAT? One of the high scorers. Thank you lord. Thank you self, dahil di ka nag patinag.
Revenge studying is the key 🔑 can’t celebrate may exam na naman kame next week huhu.

Hi I just want to write this down here to express my feelings and yk Maka rant na din
So here's the thing, I am a transferry student. Nung first day ko super hiya Ako Kasi I'm an introvert person and talagang Hindi Ako lumilingon para kausapin Yung iba Kasi super mahiyain Ako, then One time Yung Babaeng president namin nakipag usap sakin and chika-chikahan kami until umabot sa point na naging komportable akong Kasama Siya and kalaunan naging mag bestfriend kami, and dahil naging magkaibigan kami Yung ibang friends Niya naging kaibigan ko na din...
Halos araw² kaming magkasama Kasi nga lunes-friday Yung pasok tapos maghapon pa, kapag sunday-friday bumabyahe Ako palagi papunta sa kanila para tumambay and magstudy together gawa ng mga Projects and Assignment..
Siguro masasabi ko na sa sobrang close talaga namin halos ma kabisado na namin kilos ng bawat Isa samin...Tapos kahit na like Maloko kaming dalawa pero Hindi naman namin pinapabayaan grades namin na umabot pa sa point na kapag may mga recitation palagi kaming sabay na nagtataas ng kamay and Yung report card namin is puro line of 9 (which is napaka thankful talaga) and super proud kami sa isat isa, ni Isang beses di namin binackstab or siniraan ang Isa sa Amin...
Pero Akala ko lahat ng yon magiging tunay talaga and magiging lifetime bestfriend ko na siya...not until after nung nag end Yung school year, nilipat ulit Ako sa ibang school dahil need sa business ng Tito ko so kailangan ulit na mag transfer Ako sa ibang school ulit, siguro Sabihin na nating nasa 3 or 4 months, halos araw² kaming nag uusap, kinakamusta Yung isat-isa and Inuupdate kalagayn namin sa school, nag tatalk kami about sa projects, subjects mga exam and etc....
Pero nung ilang months na busy Siya na umabot sa point na ilang minutes lang sa Isang araw kami nag uusap pero as her bestfriend naiintindihan ko naman Siya, then palagi ko siyang inaantay na Mag online kahit hating Gabi na para lang makamusta at Maka usap ko Siya, tapos niyang after mga 1 month mad Lalo siyang naging busy and nung una okay lang sakin understandable naman and sumunod na next week's okay lang din kahit Minsan nalang kami magkausap...
Then one day habang offline Siya Naisipan Kong I chat Yung Isa pa namin na kaibigan which is babae and mas nauna Siya na naging kaibigan nung bestfriend ko and Hanggang sa naging bestfriend ko na din Siya, tas Sabi ko sa kaniya jokingly "miss ko na siya, nagtatampo tuloy ako Kasi Minsan nalang kami magka usap". Then nag Sabi Siya sakin na "Kaya nga eh, busy na din Siya sa like boyfriend Niya". So Yung nag chikahan kami about life Hanggang sa kinahapunan nag chat sakin Yung bestfriend ko Sabi Niya "Galit ka daw sakin?". Tas Sabi ko "Ha? Sino may Sabi". And dun nag usap ang nag exchange kami ng words Hanggang sa umabot sa point na parang kinakausap na Niya Ako sa paraan na Hindi Niya naman ginanawa dati, and so Ako nag sorry Ako sa kaniya and Inexplain na Hindi naman ganun Yung sinabi ko....
Then chinat ko Yung friend ko na yon na kinausap ko last time and tinanong ko kung bakit naman Niya Ako siniraan dun and iniba Yung usapan and na shock Ako sa sinabi niya "Sorry, Wala na eh nangyari na siguro tanggapin nalang natin". And sa pagkasabi Niya nun Galit na Galit Ako na umabot sa point na umiiyak Ako and pati Yung pag aaral ko naapektuhan Kasi nga bestfriend ko Yun tas trinaydor Ako...
After nung mga 2 weeks siguro nalaman ko nalang na may sakit Ako sa kidney tas kidney stone anf ulcer tsaka sa Mattress ko, that time I was so devastated and frustrated at the same time, halos gabi² akong umiiyak habang nag susuffer mentally and physically...
After nung nalaman nung friend ko which is Yung nag betray sakin Sabi niya kaya do daw Yan laban lang...tas nung nalaman din ng bestfriend ko halos Wala man lang akong matanggap na message mula sa kaniya na kinamusta Niya ba Ako or nag hello man lang.....and natanong ko sa sarili ko bakit naman parang super laki ng kasalanan na nagawa ko sa kaniya na para I treat Niya Ako na parang Wala kaming pinagsamahan...
And After several days nalaman ko din na Silang dalawa parin Yung mag bestie and mas Pinaniwalaan Niya Siya kesa sakin...
Kaya natatanong ko nalang sa sarili ko why are they so unfair?....

Hi guys I applied for tourist visa application for my parents the primary reason for their visit is to attend my brothers wedding in August. But when I filled out the application online, the reason that I selected was « to visit us and the grandchildren. » as that was no other reason available that would explain a visit for a wedding. In a letter to IRCC, I did explain to them that they are going to be attending the wedding as primary reason as I wanted their application to be processed asap with a tourist visa for a short stay.
Today I received a letter from IRCC requesting my parents (who are in Mauritius 🇲🇺) to go drop their original passport at the Visa application centre. The letter did not say that it has been approved yet and it read as follows
Quote «
This is in reference to your application for temporary residence. A decision has been made on your application. We require your passport to finalize processing your application.
Note: For super visa applications, passports must be submitted to a visa application centre outside Canada for insertion of a visitor visa.

unquote

My question is -
Can this be considered as an approval ? I wanted to buy the tickets asap while they are still favorable .
I wanted to apply for a tourist visa for faster process. But is there any chance that the application was considered and approved for a super visa due to the fact that I selected the reason for visit was to visit us and the grandchildren ?
Thanks

Social Media and smartphones are warping how we see the real world and our reality is losing nuance rapidly.
Take the man or bear debate as a recent example. The whole premise is unhelpful and based on a glaring falsehood. It's like a 13-year-old's first essay on a topic they know next to nothing about. I'm pretty sure actual survivors of sexual abuse don't give a single damn about this "dilemma". They have real issues to deal with that those of us who are engaging in this discourse have the privilege of not having to deal with. All this fad is doing is spread the paranoid notion that there are male predators waiting around every other corner. How is that helping survivors of abuse with real trauma and fears that they carry with them in public places on a daily basis? It is absolutely not a show of solidarity to those who have actually suffered, yet people do genuinely believe they are "raising awareness", or "taking a stand".
I mean it's a far-less improbable yet ironic scenario to imagine someone walking the dim city streets at night alone with their necks bent square over their smartphones, going round corners oblivious to their surroundings while texting "I'll take the bear lol". Those same people will say they're afraid to walk alone at night and they yeard for the bear. I made that scenario up, but I've literally seen people bumping into walls and into other people in a smart phone-induced trance and just continuing like nothing happened and I've also seen people gleefully (not ruefully) opt for "the bear". What I mean is a lot of people are claiming to be terrified when they're not.
Like with the Tik-tok trend that's been dangerously telling people they have "high-functioning anxiety" without professional diagnoses, where if everyone is mentally ill then no one is mentally ill¹, it also stands to reason that if everyone is afraid, then no one is afraid. It's a dangerous way of "showing solidarity" to let pervade through society. I'm no Jordan Peterson fan, but this is a good example of the dangers of fake solidarity*. It's not just fake; it's damaging.
The whole bear vs man thing just seems to polarise people into two camps who perceive the other either as man-haters or rape-apologists. But you know what? it's not even close to being real and does absolutely nothing to bring people of differing views any closer to understanding each other. I also 100% guarantee you that those who "choose the bear" don't actually practise what they preach in their lives to even the slightest degree. One example I witnessed was at a recent social occasion where a female high school teacher whom I know quite well told her boyfriend and father to ask her if she was alone in the woods, what she would prefer... Before she even said the words "bear", or "man", I knew where where we were heading and intuitively knew what her answer was going to be.
It wasn't a debate from the very beginning. It was more like a joke - a weird joke about sexual assault told in the first person. Before she'd even got to her supposedly mind-blowing punchline (which was, in case you're a bit late to this party, "I'd choose the bear because the bear won't rape me!"), everyone seemed to know what it was going to be. Given the expectant grin on her face when she said these impactful words, It didn't turn out to be the “gotcha” she thought it was going to be. This was quite an awkward experience. I can only guess that the "gotcha" aimed at the men in the room was supposed to educate them to be ashamed to be male on the spot. It didn’t. I explained why I thought the whole thing was flawed and I was informed I needed to lighten up. I was definitely mistaken in thinking that it was a chance to talk philosophy (is it ever these days?), but perpetuating the idea that "male rapists are everywhere" while simultaneously trivialising real suffering of abuse goes completely unchecked because when we engage in this form of discourse we reduce ourselves to vacuous, infantile creatures who ironically think they're acting like fully-developed adults. Rape is light-hearted; yet - and this is where the cognitive disonance gets really odd - you're either standing up for it or you're standing up against it, but no matter what side you're on, it's funny. Instead of thinking, "why is she grinning?!", we're thinking, "what side am I on and how can I also somehow make it funny?". When in reality, it's surface-level shock-value statements with zero nuance that we allow to insincerely represent us (the wide-grinning rape denouncer doesn't practise what she preaches: she isn't a raging man-hater; she's a decent person, but for some reason, she's adopted an inane comic-strip view on something as serious as rape - and incredibly, it's all in the defence of victims!).
And this way of engaging in discourse is everywhere. On Reddit, Facebook, Twitter etc., the finger-pointing and artificial coralling of all of us into fake dualities of misogynist vs virgin-for-life simp, misandrist vs patriachy-enabler, racist vs communist and many others are rife and it's finding its way into real-life discourse at the dinner table, the classroom and the office.
If we artificially and insincerely self-separate into these 1s and 0s, are we making it easier for the A.I. on our devices to "understand" us, classify us, manipulate us and ultimately annihilate us?
OK, maybe I went too far there, but is this jarring lack of nuance really the only way we want to "talk about" serious topics now? Is it only going to get worse? I feel like it wasn't long ago you could have real discussions about issues, but this art is dying - and rapidly. You can probably sense my frustration at how society is organising itself right now and I'd love to know if anyone has any suggestions on what we can do to encourage healthy conversations and debate with each other. Maybe I'm the problem. I used to be surrounded by people who took part in stimulating, nuanced debate and now I'm not. We used to tolerate different viewpoints and we didn't confront and "block" each other on a hair-trigger. Maybe I'm old and the kids are actually all right. Let me know.
¹ ~https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5MCw8446gs&ab_channel=TheNewYorkTimes~
*I couldn't find a good quote for this, but similarly, he terms it "narcissistic compassion"

tl;tr what is my life (Leaving note at the top of my post cause post is too long lol) Note 1: Didn't expect for the post to be that long. I apologize for any grammatical errors or incoherences, don't have the energy to read proof everything, took me almost 4 hours to write.
Note 2: Before you guys suggest therapy. I do believe in mental health and always wanted to go see a therapist but you hear a lot of horror stories about therapists where I live. Like a friend of mine went to see one at one point and he literally told her "you are too dramatic and you are lying. There is no way you feel the way you say you do". Plus even if I manage to find a good one they are expensive as fuck.
Note 3: Moving out isn't a solution either at the moment cause can't afford it. Plus it is hard to find somewhere to rent as a fairly young bachelor in a conservative country plus if they do rent to young people the apartments are usually falling apart, they over charge and you would end up with like 7 other roommates in a 3 bedrooms apartment.
I don't really know where to start since it is 1 am where I live and I am exhausted. But yeah, basically I think that I might not be a good person? that I might be a bit of an asshole and also a loser? I am not sure.
The situation that I am facing right now is that I am 29, jobless, 5 years into my PhD that i wanted to quit for a while now, live with my mom and aunt (I live in a place when it is normal for someone to live with their parents or family in their 20s or 30s, people usually only move out if they either get married or their job isn't close to where their parents live). I am really unhappy with my life, with how I usually handle things and with how I turned out.
I graduated university at 23, got my first job as a phone repair technician few months after graduating, got pressured into doing a PhD but at the same time I was like "why not?". Wasn't a fan of my job anyway and I haven't heard from the couple of interviews I have been to. I was excited to start doing academic research actually, but as soon as I got accepted things started going downhill. Our lab director passed away before we got assigned out subjects and supervisors, then COVID lock down, my dad passed away from COVID, my supervisor retired and I got assigned a new one that is clueless, they wouldn't let me stay at the dorms during my third year cause "of the volume of new students they received that year" according to them, decided to teach a class during the first semester of last year so I would have to stay close to our lab that entire time. I didn't make much progress. Nowadays I feel burnt out and I stopped trying. When people ask me about my PhD I lie and tell them that I am almost done. I have been to quite a few job interview during the past few years but they never called back. Had some projects in mind that were good business ideas imo but whenever I started I would never go through with them cause of the stress PhD is causing me. Never been good under pressure.
As for my relationships, I will start with my parents. We have had my fair-chair of big and small arguments in my teen and adult years, but I have always had a good relationship with them and I loved them. Now, since my dad passed away my mom, sister and I became really close (or closer than we already were). Then my aunt moved in with us a little while after that (due to some personal stuff), everything was good and well at first but the thing is I live in a conservative country, in a very conservative city and my aunt is super old school and she got an influence over my mom who has become super controlling which caused some friction between us for the past few years but especially during the past year and it has gotten worse during the past couple of days (well I wouldn't put the issue entirely on her cause my mom has always nosy and controlling but she would stop if you talked to her). Now when I say controlling and nosy I mean she is trying to control everything even what I wear, and whenever I am talking to the phone she always comes into my room to know who I am talking to. Sometimes she acts like she is disciplining a 15 yo and not talking to a grown man. I have always given up a small part of my independence since my parents were sheltering me, I have had a couple of friends telling me I shouldn't when we were younger and I was always like "nah, it's fine". Well now that I am trying to get 100% of my independence and autonomy back and receiving a big push back I am starting to understand what they meant.
Now to my friends. Well, I should start by saying that during my teen years I did have friends but I had a lot of difficulties connecting with people or knowing how to react during social situations which also lead to me being bullied quite a lot up until I was around 19/20. During my uni years and early 20s things have gotten better all of a sudden, I was less shy, it was easier to talk to people and to know how to react to different situations, it was easier to make new friend and my relationships with the couple of friends I made during middle school and high school was great. Even my old bullies became respectful and would stop for a chat whenever they saw me. It got me thinking "maybe that's how it is like to turn into an adult" at some point. Now I have made quite a few friends from a couple of groups I hang out with, and I like to think that I am pretty close to most of them or at least was. The thing is that over the years some of them either criticize my quirks or tease me which I always thought was fine, I would either answer them back jokingly, take their criticism seriously and try to work on myself depending on what the quirk is or just ignore them. The problem is that over the year some of my friends have started to either take themselves or their teasing too far. Sometimes it just feels like they are walking over me. Like that one friend who always lectures me "about being a grown ass man" (and in a mean way might I add, he literally screams at me) just because I haven't seen him while outside, because I only drive inside our town (because I am not that good of a driver, I used to get extreme anxiety just being behind a wheel)(he lectured me 3 times during the same day last month and 2 of them was in front of mutual friends) or that one time he berated me about something that I thought so stupid that I made a joke and his literal answer was "shut the fuck up and listen to me when I am talking to you, I am older than you (by 2 months), I have more experience than you (cause he moved abroad) and I know better than you". Or when that group of friends that tried to catfish me at one point (they did a very bad job btw). Or that other friend that does fucked up shit or says hurtful things and his out of jail card is literally "it was just a prank bro". Like whenever I tell him the smoke from his cigarettes his bothering me he literally blows smoke on my face, or that time he threw a lit cigarette butt on me and it ruined my pants, or when we were complaining about or PhDs (he used to be a PhD student) and he told me "you stagnating so you wish for people to go backwards so it would feel like you are making progress" or that time were he told a mutual acquaintance that "I was a simp"(which I am lol) and that "I stuck to girls like glue". And sure enough whenever I stop talking to him his response would be "it was just a joke", or when I loaned him money cause he had money issues few years back he has promised me several times that he would pay me back after he gets paid for jobs he is doing but then when I ask him again he is like "Why didn't you ask me 2 days ago I used it to pay back few debts. You are the only debt I have left.". He has done the same thing over the past few years and given me the exact same answer each time. Until, I told him last year that it was okay if he didn't pay me back cause he had to loan a big amount to pay for his parents' rent .
Now I am not sure the way I respond to those situations is the healthiest. My go to strategy is to just go home and not talk to them for a while. The most recent example is from last weeks. I have a friend that always asks me to download softwares for him, to install them and set them up. Honestly I didn't mind it at first but he does it so often that it has become annoying and it feels like I can't refuse cause he always says "if I am bothering you that is okay", plus whenever he sits next to me while I work on his PC he goes on rants I don't want to hear about. Anyway, he is a PhD student and he asked me to help him with a paper he is working on cause it is overlapping with my field, I didn't mind. Then, he called me the other day and asked if I could meet him immediately, I accepted (to be fair to him he did ask me if I was going to take a lot of time to arrive, I answered with "no" then it did take me 25 minutes more than it should have) and when I called him to tell him I was almost there he answered with "are you kidding me? I don't have time", I just hang up before he could finish his sentence and went back home. Or two voice messages I impulsively sent yesterday cause I was really upset and needed to let my anger out one way or another. The first one was to the "it was just a prank, bro" dude, I lent him some more money few months ago that he promised he would pay back by the end of 2023 and still hasn't. The message went like this "give me back my money or I will kick you in the balls and break your nose" (it sounded cooler in my language lol. And I want to add that he would definitely win in a fight. ). It wasn't about the money I was just tired of him and would get upset every-time I would think about the way he is treating me. Then I followed up with another message calling him a parasite. The second one was to the dude who always berates me. Despite the way he treats he considers me as a best friend, so I have been thinking about sending him a message for the past 2 weeks explaining to him that I didn't like the way he treated me. But because I was angry the message went like this "Go fuck yourself, and fuck your so called advice. You are just trying to enforce some random criteria you have made up on me. Let me give you the same advice you give me, you are a 30 yo man so it would be about time you came back to reality and to close your asshole (which is a rude way of saying you have got a big head in my language). Also shut the fuck up.". Needless to say that he was confused and tried to call me and left me like 2 voice messages that I ignored (cause I wasn't feeling like hearing from anyone) and a screenshot from his note app saying that he was sorry that I felt that way and that he considered me like a good friend and that I was a good guy (I haven't read everything). He probably tried to contact me today, but I can't be sure cause I spent the entire day messing with my phone and installing different ROMS (OS). But yeah, I received an SMS from him few hours ago saying that he was going to press charge for "defamation and mental distress " (I think that is the correct translation), which I thought was ridiculous plus he is not the kind to press charges. But then, he has people in his life that he respects a lot and if they advised him to he would definitely do it. Plus he used the number he uses when he comes to our country to text me, on the other hand the country he is at is close enough that he could just text me from that number. I mean I think it would be ridiculous to press charges for that voice mail lol, but again some stupid law got voted few months ago that if you were caught cussing that could cause you up to 6 months of jail, and I definitely cussed. Oh and he also followed with "we obviously don't deal with conflicts the same way. There is the dirty way then there is the smart way" (Again not sure about the translation so I am using the literal one). When I saw it I was like "there is no way I am not ignoring you now"
If you managed to read the whole thing I thank you, I feel a lot better, I mean it still feels like the earth is about to swallow me whole but I still weirdly feel calm about it lol.

I (27M) just finished what I think was my first real date in my life (I don’t think I need to explain why I think that’s my first real date, but could) and think I hit it off with this (31F) woman and my only problem is I was supposed to be set up by her with her (30F) friend.
For context I’m a waiter at a restaurant. Two weeks ago, the older woman was at a table of mine, said I was her friend’s type, and asked for my number to give to her for her friend. Since then however, I’ve been exclusively in contact with her, the one who got my number. We made some jokes back and forth over a couple of days and followed each other on social media. I suggested that we could go out somewhere for drinks and she could introduce me to her friend, plus, I’d bring a friend too so it wasn’t just me. Her and her friend accepted and we met up tonight. It was a pretty tough environment if I’m being honest. It was an extra loud night at a local pub and I’m hard of hearing, so it was tough to enjoy the conversations being let alone try to initiate them. Her friend, super sweet and from what I picked up on possibly a little shy was overwhelmed by the situation and decided to head out after a couple hours. She gave me a hug on her way out and said it was nice to meet me.
After another 15 minutes my buddy said he wanted to het a bite at a different bar since where we were was packed and loud. I said I wouldn’t mind and I thought it was the end of our time with this woman, but she also was interested and came along. She asked me to come with her to direct her since it was only up the road. In the car we chatted and immediately seemed to hit it off. We got to the bar and continued talking, getting to know each other, some shared interests and things we like to do locally. Throughout the conversation I noticed her getting comfortable with me and beginning to touch me every now and again. We hung out for another two hours before she left. When she did I decided to make my exit too and as I walked past her car she gave me a hug, but didn’t say anything like “hope to see you soon”.
I did have a good time with the younger woman, her friend. Big laughs, similar senses of humor and interests, but I didn’t get to make a connection with her. With that said, I felt like I made a connection with the woman who facilitated this meetup. I really don’t know anything about her friend, the person who I was intended to make a connection with, but had a great time with her and would maybe like to pursue something again with her.
I’m not sure how to handle this. If I got to know her friend more I’m sure we could have hit it off, but circumstances didn’t play out for that. Should I peruse something with the friend? Something with her? Neither? I just don’t want to be reading into anything too much or make the wrong call and mess up something in the future with the two of them. Suggestions?

This is kind of a long story and I feel like a lot of context is needed for it to make any sense at all. For starters, I went through a very hard breakup about 8 months ago, and I have been spending a lot of time getting to know myself again since the split. Especially since I was so hurt, I have been really nervous to go out with anybody because I want to avoid the possibility of being hurt again so soon. I was still going on dates but not letting myself get too attached to anybody.
(For the sake of anonymity, 40M will be referred to as Adam)
I met Adam about 6 years ago. He was one of my teachers during my grade 12 year, and we always got along really well. I was a very withdrawn person and would get nervous speaking out loud in front of people, but something about Adam made me feel super confident. I always joked about us flirting to my friends, but I obviously didn't take it very seriously, since I was only 17 and he was my teacher. I graduated and didn't really think about him much. Admittedly more than I thought about any of my other teachers, but still not a ton.
Fast forward to 2 months ago. Adam reached out to me on Facebook and we started talking. It started off very casual, he was asking me how I am and whether or not I went to post-secondary, ie, typical teacher questions. After a couple of days, however, I could tell the conversations between us were getting very flirtatious.
To be totally honest, I was really happy because I had nothing but good memories of Adam, so when he started finding sneaky ways to tell me how pretty I am I dove right into full on flirting. We started to make plans to meet up when he got back from a trip.
We talked all day, everyday up until we were going to meet, and as soon as we got together there was an instant connection and spark. It turns out Adam and I have had really similar upbringings, and we're super compatible emotionally and sexually. He had opened up and told me about how he regrets not having kids and that he worries if he doesn't have any soon his window of opportunity will close (It is a dream of mine to have babies and I have suffered multiple losses so I was so happy to hear that he was open to the idea) Things were going really well and then he sat me down for a talk.
Adam explained to me that he is married, he loves his wife, and he is worried about hurting my feelings down the road because he has no intentions of leaving his wife. He also told me that he thought I already knew (I probably did but that information was not important enough to a 17yr old me to remember). We discussed the possibility of not continuing to see eachother, but we both decided that this felt too special to not continue.
So that's what we did and now for the last month or so we have been getting together as often as possible, talking every single day and Adam has been buying me lots of gifts and food. He is also planning on taking me away for a weekend next month.
I was feeling happy and good about the situation, since I have been admittedly pretty lonely lately, and seeing someone who I already knew from the past has given me a nice feeling of familiarity while also giving me someone to tell jokes to and talk to when I'm having a hard day. But lately I can't stop thinking about Adams wife and how horrible it would be to be in that position. She has no idea that I exist and it seems like there is a lot of trust in their relationship, so I don't see her figuring it out any time in the near future.
I have thought so much about reaching out to Adams wife and coming clean, since if I were in her shoes I decided I would want to know asap, and it feels very not girls girl of me to be sleeping with somebody else's husband. At the same time, I understand that if I were to do that, Adam might never forgive me. Part of me feels as though Adam doesn't really care about me, or his wife since he seems so willing to hurt us both. I love spending time with Adam and I can't stop thinking about him. I'm worried if I stopped seeing him, I might have my heart broken again and I already barely survived my last heart break.
What should I do?

Backstory: I was raised in an abusive household where my mom physically and verbally abused my brother and I. My mom refused to financially support me, there was never food in the house, she strangled me, slapped me, called me lazy, etc etc. My dad did nothing to stop her and played the good guy. We had a good relationship but as I became an adult our relationship has changed. I left home at 17 and supported myself through college. I have since moved across the country and am getting married. I have spoken to my parents several times about my upbringing which has gotten me some excuses and some half assed apologies.
My dad is becoming quite politically incorrect as he gets older and also manipulative. Lots of guilt tripping, lying. My mom and I have managed to have an ok relationship where she comes across as pretty loving to me despite the past. My dad pulls a lot of "she's your mom she loves you, you are making her upset" if anything happens between her and I. My mom and my dad's parents do not get along. We were estranged from my dad's family for most of my life given my dad's father being an abusive alcoholic. His dad is very sexist, racist, homophobic every time I see him and has gone so far as to grab my ass. He also apparently wished I was stillborn.
My dad has been claiming his mother is about to die for the past 5 years and is always telling me I need to go see her when I am home before she dies and so I felt guilted into inviting his parents to my wedding. A few months ago, she needed surgery and we were all certain she would not make it to the wedding. Since this, we found out my dad's father has been taking her Dilaudid and drinking and he was taken to emerg. I asked my father to speak to his parents about maybe it being best they do not come. He said he would. He then called me later to say they are coming. I told my parents they would have to sit with them and my mom got very angry and refused. I said I would call and uninvite them if it was going to turn into a big issue. My dad then got very angry and said "how would you like to uninvite your parents" and my mom accused me of being dramatic. I hung up at this point.
More backstory, my parents have never given me money for anything up until this point but my father upon our engagement had insisted on giving us a small amount of money for the wedding which I said I did not need and he didn't need to do but he e- transfered it to me anyway. My parents have also bought decorations and when I have said I am unsure about some of the decorations they bring up the money.
So back to this fight, I called my fiance to tell him my grandparents were coming, my mom was refusing to sit with them and I didn't know what I was going to do. Our wedding is very small, 40 people and I can't realistically sit my ill demented grandmother and substance abusing nasty grandfather with random friends. My fiance called my dad to try to work something out and my dad told him he didn't know what he was talking about. I then called my dad back and said if this is how things were going to be I would feel more comfortable transferring the money back because I felt I had to do things exactly the way they wanted and it was making me uncomfortable. My dad then told me if I did this, my fiance would be dead to him. I apologized for having offended him and said I wouldnt give the money back and conceded on having my grandparents come and having the decorations and seating arrangement my parents want.
Obviously this is super fucked up. I thought more about it over the next few weeks and I talked to my dad and I told him if that's the case then I'm dead to him as well. My dad then admitted he just said that to manipulate me into not sending the money back. He also claimed it was a joke and I should've known not to take it seriously. At this point with him admitting the manipulation I'm so angry. Since then he's also texted me asking me why my fiance isn't responding to his texts and accusing me of telling my fiance what he said, and saying I don't need to be starting drama in the family.
I am absolutely dreading the wedding and want to uninvite him entirely but I know if I do it will destroy the relationship with my mom and probably my brother as well. I also want to uninvite my grandparents on his side but I feel bad as they are kind of just collateral damage.
WIBTA here? Should I just concede and shut up and get on with the day?
Edit: I should add the wedding is next month. My fiance is supportive of whatever I want to do. We are both 30 and my parents and in their 50s. My brother agrees the way we were raised is fucked up and I have talked to him about everything and he is of the mindset that because they are family we have to keep them in our lives. He lives near them and keeps up a relationship with them. The amount of money is $5000. It is sitting untouched in an account. We have already paid for the wedding without it.