Okay, so this is going to be a long one. I (31F) have been married to my husband (32M) for 13 years, going on 14 years. We married young. I was 17, and he was 19. (Yes, I know that's crazy young) My husband, i will call him (" hubs " in this post) has 2 brothers. I will refer to his brothers as ( "John" and "zack"). Hubs is the oldest of the three boys. Zack is the second oldest brother (26 M), and John is the youngest brother (24M).
For years, I have had issues with zack. He has continually bullied me in the past. I used to have a lazy eye (I've had surgery to correct it), and he would make fun of it. Asking me which eye i was looking at him with. I have 3 kids, and before I started working again, he made a recommendation to me while having him as a guest at my home.. the recommendation was that I get up and give my chair to my husband so he can sit and relax because he "actually works." As a teen ( he was 17ish), he shoulder checked me (HARD) into a brick wall while I was pregnant with my second daughter. When I was pregnant with my oldest, I lived with my in-laws for a while, and he would make up lies about me to "get his way" with his parents. Stupid lies. Like I was hogging the TV remote, or I was being "mean" to him. Because he is their child and they did not know me well, of course they believed him. Since then, it's been non-stop little things. And jokes that are very distasteful and inappropriate. (No im not a karen these jokes were concerning sex or race and he would say them around my young children) (they are no longer allowed around zack without me or hubs present due to this issue) These things continued to happen up till about 3 or 4 years ago.
My husband's family has regular family gatherings. For every holiday, and in-between the holidays birthdays. For YEARS, I have continued to go despite me being uncomfortable. I respect Hubs mom and grandmother a lot. I also have a good relationship with them. So, to keep the peace, I just dealt with it. That is until my 30th birthday. I then decided that I wouldn't sacrifice my peace on every holiday ect to make someone else happy. So I told my husband's mom that I would only be attending 1 or 2 a year because I no longer wanted to be put in uncomfortable situations.
Zack found out about this. I'm assuming his parents told him. He called and apologized to me. Altho I do forgive him. I don't trust him. So I still don't go much. (Also, zack had been a lot better... untill now)
Rewind a bit..
Now to the SIL Zack got married a few years ago. We will call his now wife "jan" (24F). Jan is 3 months older than the youngest brother John. Despite my distaste for zack, I have tried to keep the peace with Hubs' family. I didn't want to be the cause of family issues. So when I found out about Jan, I had her and zack over. The first time I met Jan, she "scoffed" at me. I joke around with hubs a lot. I call him "baby daddy." We were standing in my kitchen, and I said, "Hey baby, Daddy, can you hand me my drink?" she looks over and scoffs and rolls her eyes at me. Again.. this is our first meeting and we are in MY house. As time passes, she does this quite often. A few years ago, I got breast augmentation, and I was honest about it. I didn't hide it. After three kids and breastfeeding, I wanted to love my body again, and I felt I needed to normalize things like this. (Also, I didn't get them huge.. not that it would matter if I did but for context in 5'4 145 lbs my bottom half is "thicker" so dr said larger implants would "even me out" i got DD's and they do look Portionate) Well I was passing zack and Jan at hubs grandmother's house I over heard them laughing about it. (I don't remember their exact words) Then after that, I found out from other family members that she was going around talking bad about me and my augmentation behind my back.
After that happened, my children went to my mother in laws house. ( zack and Jan moved next door to them), and Jan went to MIL house with her four-wheeler. Then Jan and FIL let my (at the time 11 year old) son get on without an adult with no prior experience and without our knowledge and with no gear. He drove it around the property. I found out about this, and hubs spoke to his parents and let them know that we were not comfortable with that. I called Jan and politely told her that we don't like him on things like that by himself. (My hubs best friend died on something similar when he was 15) and asked that the next time she would call to ask, and maybe we could at least get protective gear for it. She snapped at me and wouldn't let me finish my statement, and with an attitude said "okay I get it, you're the parent," and hung up.
Following this there was also a family wedding that she was very rude at. John got married to a lovely and sweet girl. I will call her lisa. Mine and jans kids were both hin johns and lisas' wedding. So we were in the room with lisa and the bridesmaids. Jan was so rude that the bridesmaids in the wedding noticed. However, Im really close to John and really do see him as my brother. So I kept my mouth shut and held it together because I didn't want to start anything on his wedding day.
Fast forward to now
We recently had a family get-together. I don't go often, as i stated above. But I haven't seen the family in a while (and I am really close to them) so I decided to go. Zack was working, so he wasn't there, but Jan and her two kids were. Lisa and I talked for a while (we are close and get along great!) then I talked to the rest of the family a bit. Jan walked past me and said hi, so to keep things cordial, I smiled andnsaid hi. But that's all I said to her while I was there. When I left, I hugged everyone goodbye (not jan).
A while later, I got a phone call from another family member saying that zack called them ranting about how jan told him i was mean to her. How I didn't hug her goodbye and accusing me of trying to "steal lisa." (Like you can steal a human being 🤦🏻‍♀️) Then zack told this family member that if I continued, he was going to go back to his "old ways."
I'm taken aback by this. I do not want a relationship with zack or Jan because I don't think they are good people. They have both been constant drama and just distasteful. Zack had gotten better, but now this... and still... Why would I want a relationship with them. Or go out of my way to physically hug someone who is hateful to me? Also, i don't even go to most of the family gatherings. How am I trying to steal the other sister in law? Lisa and I hung out outside of the family because we bonded. I even spoke at their wedding. This was already known information. Why would it be weird that I talk to her? I get that jan may feel left out, but in my opinion, you can't make your bed out of rocks and then be upset that it's not comfortable... why should i once again have to make myself uncomfortable to please her? Or them? Jan claims that she just wants a relationship with me (she didn't tell me this. She told another family member)(and this was the same day she and zack call a different family member to rant about how mean i am), but i think she just likes playing games. Because if she did, she wouldn't treat me the way she continues to. (Also, I'm not the only one who notices the way she has treated me) I think she wants to be a victim 🤷🏻‍♀️ Most of the other family members understand my POV. But some think I should "give her a chance," but i do not understand the logic of jan and zack. And i do not have a desire to have any form of a relationship with them.
AITA For not wanting to involve myself with her and her husband? What do I do? If I don't go to any family functions, I'm letting them control me. So I'm definitely not doing that, but what other options are there?
Also, NOTE- My husband hates zack and Jan. He is on my side with this. Also, sorry for any typos. I wanted a biased opinion on this, and I'm about to have to leave for work, so I typed fast 😅

Friend (28M) and I (28F) have known each other for 4 years, both single. We met during our studies at university, and now we are close to graduating and will become colleagues, as we will be lecturers there. We used to argue a lot in the past about everything around feminism (from soft jokes to getting angry for two months and then behaving like nothing happened). A year ago, I told him at a dinner with friends that we should stop these arguments since we have the same opinion in 90% of cases and disagree only in 10%, mostly about our own personal experiences, which we are sensitive about for our own reasons.
After this dinner, we had a long walk (we live near each other) and 1) he told me that it was his birthday (no one knew that). To this day, it means a lot to me that he shared this information with me, and 2) we shared a very long hug, a kiss on the cheeks (for context, in my country this is a pretty common thing to do with good friends), and a very long look while still hugging. To be honest, I am still angry at myself for not kissing him in that moment. I felt his kiss on my cheek for a few days afterward. But in that moment, I got scared. After that, we only met occasionally, a few times for coffee, dinner, or lunch. I initiated meetings only by text, and he only asked in person (and planned on the spot). Recently, he has become more open with me (sharing information about his life, past, family, how he would like to live with his partner, etc.). When we meet, we can talk for 2-4 hours without a problem. Usually, we need to stop our conversation because we are supposed to be somewhere else.
BUT at the same time, he is sharing with me information about a girl he is interested in who is taken. I also think it is possible that he might be a virgin or not very experienced, which I wouldn’t mind.
I feel very dumb and delusional. Please, can you tell me your honest opinion so I can move on? Is he interested, or are we just becoming closer friends? Or who is friendzonin who?

If you’d told me that the visitation with my son, an event that happened only every other weekend, would be extended indefinitely, I would’ve jumped with joy. In the end, I wish the circumstances under which they unfolded had never happened.
The clouds were sightless in the clear sky the day Jasmine dropped off my boy, a perfect day to play a little catch in the yard or go fishing at the nearby stock pond. Cyrus bounced out of the car and ran joyously toward me, unaware that his old man was a perpetual fuck up that had broken up the family in the first place. Oh well.
It was a happy day, the birds sang their old nostalgic tunes of a lost Summer in my own childhood. It was warm, not too warm, and the neighborhood was buzzing with excitement as the Spring showers had come to a close. It was as close as it could get to perfect.
The evening light danced against the tree tops, turning a violet hue as dusk began to settle in. Burnt orange water reflected the dying sun as it continued sinking away to nothing. We grabbed our tackle box, the giant beige one my uncle gifted me before he was stolen by cancer, and filled it with the empty, crumpled up bits of plastic that once held bologna sandwiches. As I said, it was a perfect day, very reminiscent of my own childhood.
We’d thrown the fat bluegill back that we had caught, I hadn’t felt like messing with cleaning and cooking them. Instead, dinner would likely be mac n’ cheese with some cut up hot dogs, a staple in my household whether or not Cyrus was visiting. Hopefully I hadn’t run through Oscar Meyer supply.
Home never felt so lonely, the walls never seemed so barren of old family pictures when Cyrus wasn’t around. Sometimes, he only added to the pain. I would never tell him that, though.
Even with the faucet turned all the way up, the water dribbled out and made boiling pasta a very patient game. Cyrus was babbling about some game he was playing on my phone. ‘He’s just a kid’, I thought, and pretended to be interested in whatever the hell he was talking about.
The sun had vanished and the moon was especially bright that night, having slid nearly halfway to its crescendo before dinner was finally done. Cyrus had stolen my phone to the living room, staring at the bright characters absentmindedly as a nondescript Netflix show played in the background.
“Here, buddy, sorry about the wait”, I sat the bowl of neon yellow stuff in front of him, the pink scramble of hotdog jutting out made me feel… a little ashamed? I plopped down next to him and flipped through the various titles on Netflix, most of which I had already seen a couple of times. Cyrus tossed the phone aside and picked at the mess of ‘food’ in the bowl. I can’t remember if he took a bite or not.
“Dad!”, I jumped, reeling from the doze I had fallen in. If Jasmine was here, it would’ve been such a perfect day, such a perfect day. Instead, this is where it all fell apart.
He massaged furiously at his temples, his knees pulled tight against his heaving chest.
“What’s the matter, are you okay?”, I jumped from the couch and got on one knee, putting my hands around his shoulders. I watched helplessly as Cyrus twisted and contorted his body, trying to run away from whatever pain was in his head.
Suddenly he fell still.
I studied him for a while, nearly on the verge of tears as his body had become totally limp. Then, a noise. At first it was quiet, then it grew and grew until it filled the room with totality. It’s hard to describe that noise, almost like a wind turbine if you were up close to it.
From behind the couch, just above my sons head, it peeked at me. Its thick, black fingers ended at sharp, nailess points. Just as I met its eyes, it slithered behind the couch and that’s when Cyrus awoke in a screaming fit.
I jumped awake again, Cyrus sitting next to me as pale as a sheet. His eyes were bulging, glued to the blank TV ahead.
I couldn’t help but check behind the couch, to make sure it wasn’t still there. Then, to my son who was still staring at the nothing on the television. His mouth was hanging open, just enough to allow the continuous stream of drool to fall out.
I ran to the kitchen to grab a paper towel and cleaned the odd amount of drool from his chin. There wasn’t a thermometer in the house but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to tell that he was burning up. A fever, I thought.
I carried the boy to his bedroom, feeling as though I was being watched the entire way, and tucked him into bed. A doctors visit would soon be on the horizon. I returned to the couch in the living room, careful to keep my gaze fixed on the TV and nothing else. Truthfully, I was too afraid to look in the shadowy corners.
That night was filled with nightmares.
The next day I rang Jasmine, letting her know that Cy was sick and needed to go to the doctor. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t have been an issue, but Jas was immunocompromised (she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer a few months before we divorced) and my son would be staying with me for the foreseeable future. I couldn’t complain, I didn’t get to see him nearly enough as it was.
That day was very much the opposite of the previous, the sky was gloomy and spits of rain fell consistently from dawn to nightfall.
The doctor had said that Cyrus had a particularly severe ear infection, but nothing that some antibiotics couldn’t fix. He sent us home with a tube of the stuff, my wallet noticeably lighter.
“Apply some of this twice a day, once in the morning and once before bedtime”, the older gentleman had said. He squeezed my shoulder and smiled, though there seemed to be something else behind his wary eyes.
He stopped me again as I turned to leave.
“Sir…”, he started, though he seemed to study his words carefully, “your son kept mentioning something he called the flumes”.
I shrugged, the only time I had heard the word was in reference to a ravine on the edge of town where we’d all smoke pot in high school. Nothing struck me as odd about it at the time.
“They come from the flumes, those noises, those noises, he kept saying”, the doctor pushed closer, his eyes growing wild. I stepped backward, tugging at Cy’s hand as we left the building wordlessly.
Aside from my busy mind, the car ride home was utterly silent. I could hear my boys heavy, labored breaths all the way from the backseat. ‘Inner ear infection, my ass’, I thought.
After laying Cyrus back down for bed, I fixed him a bowl of instant chicken and noodles and decided to give Jasmine a call. The phone rang endlessly before the robotic voice indicated that the caller wasn’t available. I tried once more but gave up after it rang a few more times. Probably sleeping.
I returned to the couch, deciding to rewatch Nightmare on Elm Street for the fourth or fifth time.
After a while, I decided to put on cable, growing tired of the listless titles on Netflix. I was never too interested in the local news, but today seemed as good as any to catch up on the towns happenings. The Grantfield Gators girls softball team had advanced to sectionals and one of the townsfolk were celebrating their 100th birthday.
A ‘Breaking News’ graphic slid below the frazzled newslady on the television. Wherever she was, it sure looked familiar.
‘Wild dog shits on mayors front yard’, I laughed at my own stupid joke and surely turned as white as Cyrus had the previous night as the lady on the TV continued.
“A local woman was found tied to a tree and disemboweled at the scene. Police are saying various symbols were branded all over the womans body, and the material used to bind her to the Elm tree was ‘of unusual property’”, she continued on for a while but I hadn’t noticed, the air had fallen heavy and that familiar warbling had filled the room again.
Heavy footsteps slammed up the staircase at an otherworldly pace. Up the staircase and towards my sons room.
I ran, I swear I ran as fast as I could but I knew… I knew.
When I got to his room, he was gone, the curtains blowing aimlessly in the wind as the window had been slammed open so hard that the glass had shattered in the panes. The bowl of chicken and noodles sat on the bedside table, untouched.
I tried calling Jasmine again and again and again. Still, no answer.
I wanted to write this, to whoever may be reading, so that you know where to look if I don’t return. I know where my son is, I know where Jasmine is.
The flumes took them, or whatever might be lurking in it.

Not sure how else to phrase it, because I love him but he has a really bad way of being thoughtless and selfish. Our first Christmas, I was impressed with a gift that he made for his mom. It was cheap, literally just a bunch of notes in a paper bag labeled "reasons I love you" and each was a sentiment or story or inside joke. It was cheap and I understood because he was a broke-ass teenager who couldn't hold down a job.
Since then, though, I've come to experience his assumption and expectation for what he will be receiving for birthdays and Christmas. For example, he'll assume we were going to spend a few hundred dollars on gifts, and ask for it in cash instead of gifts. He asked for us to renew his medical weed permit ($250 at the time) and claimed that's all he wanted, then acted all shitty when there wasn't much else to open. He knows he gets money from his grandpa, so he's asked for advances on it. Every gift he treats as an expected transaction, taken for granted, not as a gift. For Christmas, his mom got him a necklace I think, that was sort of silly but there was a reason she got it. If he didn't like wearing it, I didn't blame him, but he could hang it from a tac on his wall or something. Instead, he actually gave it back to her right there within moments of opening it, saying it wasn't his style.
What finally pissed me off enough to write this was Mother's Day. I asked him weeks ago what he was going to do for his mom. He's 24 and no longer lives with us, but he has a job and is still getting food stamps from his brief unemployment, Actually has more than he needs to the point of stocking up before the benefits expire. Anyway, I remind him weeks ago that Mother's Day is coming up, his mom doesn't want anything but a nice heartfelt card or note because we know he's working hard and trying to save for a car and a better place. We tell him Mom wants to go to ihop, nothing fancy at all. We didn't offer to pay, but I assumed we would. We pick him up and take him after work. While we are waiting for our food, he gives her a card.
The card was literally a picture on the front and a sentence on the inside that he said "this kinda says how I feel so I didn't write anything else." And to be clear, what I mean is: the card had a sentence printed on the inside. He did not write anything, he didn't even sign his name. If we wanted to return the card, we could have. It was literally right off the shelf, and obviously a last minute purchase that he bought from work just moments before we picked him up.
Number one, I hate how shitty it makes me feel when WE show emotional investment in him with not only our thoughtful gifts but also very sincere cards and notes. We show a ton of support, love, and appreciation for him and everything he does and has done. For him to gloss over that while searching for the money inside the card is like holy shit, you're an adult, are you not aware of how selfish you look? If you're going to be an asshole, at least pretend to not be one in front of us. Second, and this is important: You will not be successful in relationships if you are an emotional slug like that. I can't imagine how his girlfriends would feel or how his wife would feel with this approach to her birthday or anniversary. You cannot half-ass something that is significant to you in any way, especially when it is equally or more significant to people you love.
My wife, who often suppresses her reactions to these kinds of things, actually broke down and told me how disappointed she was when she got that Mother's Day card. If she's willing to say something about it, I can only imagine it's more than what she's expressed because she doesn't want to be negative toward her son. I get that. So I can't imagine how low she felt when after all that she's done for him, especially in the past year, his only gift is a last-minute purchase of convenience, no thought, and not even his own words. Not even a signature.

The flames of your campfire flicker as the wind howls around you. Shivering as you pull your wolfskin cloak around you, thankful for its warmth.
"Your welcome for that" a voice calls teasingly across the campfire. "And for this" she says as she lifts a leg of some beast she slew earlier and is now roasting over the fire
"Thank you" the words come from your half frozen lips, "it's nice to see your homeworld, even if loose some toes" you say with a small grin
A bark of laughter comes from your love, she tosses her hair back as she takes a swig from her mug before reaching out to hand it to you "drink this, you won't be cold anymore" a grin spreads across her face "it's no mjod, but still good stuff"
Taking the mug and feeling the warmth on your hands you take a careful sip feeling the warmth travel through your body. The plesent taste of spices spreads along your tounge.
And then the alcohol bites
You double over gasping at the burning taste as the rush of alcoholic warmth spreads through your body warming you from the inside out you hear that same bark of laughter "good stuff like I said" she reaches over to grab the mug, taking a long sip from it before letting out a sigh of appreciation "made specifically to brace you against the cold of Fenris, you won't freeze as long as you have some in your system"
After that she drains the rest of the mug before patting a horn strapped to her armor "and I made sure to bring plenty my pup" she turns her attention back to the meat cooking as you recover
It's not the first times she's made you try her drinks before. And it's not the worst you've tried, you still remember the time she handed you a cup of Mjod. The fumes alone made you fall back against her chest plate. Followed by plenty of laughter from the host of assembled marines
Sitting back up just in time for her to hand you a drumstick from the fire "eat up pup" she says holding up a larger leg "race you to the bone" as she sinks her teeth into the meat determined to beat you
Try as you might you still have a few bites left on your bone as she triumphantly dangles a clean bone in front of your face. You look up to see an identically clean bone in her other hand. A small pout coming on your face much to her ammusment
"Sorry pup" as she cracks a bone and starts picking out the marrow "you learn to eat fast when you compete with wolves" you swear she jokes about it just to mess with you, though given some of her mannerisms your not sure she's lying
You finish off your bone as she finishes picking out the marrow of hers. You point around you with your bone "this whole place is actually kind of beautiful" you point to the snow covered mountains "I love the way the snow falls"
Her eyes follow your bone "I was raised on that mountain, our den was about halfway up" her voice fades into what you presume is memory as you keep staring at the mountains
"You'll have to take me there one day" receiving no answer. Sighing with the delight only a full belly can bring you lean back a little against your pack as you chuck your bone off away from camp
A blur passes over you as your sent rolling by some sort of force. Her training kicks in as you keep your grip on your pistol as you finish your roll, coming up to see Leman with her face buried in whatever it was that attacked you
You wince, rembering the time she got a little too aggressive with a love bite, feeling almost sorry for whatever dared to attack you in her presence "did you get it love?" Your voice has her turn her head
Only for you to see pure joy in her eyes as she sits there with your bone in her mouth. She practically throws herself forward and drops the bone at your feet. Instinctively you reach out and pat her head, which leans into your hand as your fingers find yheir way behind her ears
Seconds later you both pause realizing what had just happened. Only now you double over laughing as her face flushes
"If you tell anyone of what happend here ill..." her voice fades off, for once she doesn't have an insult or threat of violence ready to issue in a challenge
Recovering from your fit of laughter you move closer and embrace her kneeling form. "Don't worry love. Your secrets safe with me" she sighs and the two of you lose track of time as you stay like that
The only thing that brings out out of it is the sound of the campfire dying out. Leman rises, hating to break the moment "ill get that rebuilt, go get your lighting kit and I'll show you how to build a proper fire" as you both remember the lack luster first attempt you had
It took a Melta gun to get it burning
Turning to your pack you start to dig through for your lighting kit, coming across it deep inside your pack. Also finding your drinking horn you grab it moving back to the growing pile of wood. Determine to at least best her in one competition tonight
My other works https://www.reddit.comANGRY_CENT_MAIN/s/rRB69ntbm7

For the sake of the story and to avoid confusion the man who I thought was my bio dad I’ll call him NBD and my actual bio dad I’ll call BD, Step dad will be SD, and my mom will just be mom.
Two years ago, I was gifted a 23andMe test, I was excited to find out where I came from ethnically.
When I finally got my results I noticed 3 things immediately, I wasn’t Albanian, I WAS Polish, and it linked me to a great great aunt I never heard about. I called NBD mom and asked her about the great great aunt and she had no idea who it was, so I did my own digging.
I reached out to the great great aunt’s daughter and she listed family names I could look into. I eventually found someone who told me their aunt might know who my real dad was and she’d get back to me. When she finally did get back to me she apologized and said her aunt told her she would not help and that people were entitled to their secrets. I was pissed. I was entitled to the truth!!
I finally reached out to my mom and while busy she told me to send her screenshots and she would get back to me. My mom called an hour later sobbing, apologizing, up-and-down. It was then that the fact NBD wasn’t my dad really hit me. It was really traumatic finding out everything I thought I knew about myself was a lie, like I wasnt a whole person just, fragments. I wanted to be angry or sad but I was just numb. I just wanted to know who my dad really was. my mom told me she had recognized the name and immediately knew who my dad really was. She told me she had called him before calling me back and told him what was happening and that if I wanted a relationship with him, he was more than willing, but if I didn’t want a relationship with him, he was fine with that too. My mom sent me his number and I sent him a text and told him to call me whenever he could.
About a week later, I went to go meet BD for the first time as his daughter that year, my birthday ended up landing on Father’s Day (yay me) so I brought him a first Father’s Day card for a new dad as a joke to break the ice and he had bought me flowers. I was so worried he wasn’t going to like me and that his girlfriend wouldn’t like me either but they are the best!!! They had to be one year old daughter and an adopted his gfs nephew. I gained two new siblings over night. They had another baby girl last year so I added another sibling to the mix
It turned out the aunt that didn’t want to spill the family secrets is my grandmother BD mom. She apologized for not sharing, but she didn’t want me to hear it from her and wanted me to hear it from my mom. It’s been two years and my relationship with BD is amazing he texts me randomly list to let me know he loves me and to check in.
The downside is NBD family is really weird towards me now, I get that they are mad at my mom but it doesn’t feel fair to be treating me differently. Anytime I bring the situation up at all to my mom she begins to feel bad and starts crying so I can’t talk to her. BD is just so chill he doesn’t seem bothered at all so I just don’t bring it up with him really but do occasionally talk through it sometimes with his GF who I now also call mom. I’ve had some not great remarks made to me by family members basically saying that the situation should be kept quiet to avoid embarrassment or that peoples lives were ruined. Like gee thanks sorry I’m an embarrassing bastard child that ruined peoples lives. I feel like some burdensome mistake that people would be better off without and it’s not fair. I didn’t do anything wrong yet how I exist is viewed as a shameful and hushed topic rather then an honest mistake. Don’t get me wrong I’m upset I could have had a present dad rather then someone who wasn’t really around till I was 18 but COME ON. In any case I know I probably need to see a therapist about this, but it’s nice to finally vent my feelings somewhere that isn’t just in my own head. Thanks for listening.
TLDR; 23andMe test revealed my dad wasn’t my dad. I met my bio dad and he’s amazing. Definitely need therapy so cause this was traumatic but also the situation just makes me feel numb?
EXTRA CONTEXT: my mom genuinely thought NBD was my dad if there was even a doubt in her mind she would have checked. Having NBD as my dad was not a choice she would have made for me or her.

I feel like Reddit is my only option to be able to receive insight or advice for my situation. So, to get right into it.. I was dumped on Valentine’s Day by my partner after 3 years of being together. Listen, my situation is different than most other breakups in a sense that it wasn’t mutual but we but mutually agreed to “take a break” while he’s busy with both work and school. He was in a nursing program while also working at a hospital. He had too much on his plate. I 100% understand that. The reason why he dumped me on Valentine’s Day is because I was supposed to see him after 2 months of waiting to see him in person. We got into an argument because he said that he would be free during the weekend but meant Thursday and Friday because that’s “his” weekend. Like bruh, of course I’d assume Saturday and Sunday. I called him to settle the confusion because I really wanted to see him. Like I said, I waited for 2 months to finally have a day to see him. Which then led to him saying mean things about how I’ve achieved nothing and need to figure that out while he focuses on what comes first. School and work. He promised to send a picture of all of his puppies, which I miss so much. That was February and I just got one picture of the dogs. Here’s the kicker though. He has no remorse or empathy towards the breakup. Whatsoever. He made it seem like it was a break, he even said “ we’ll see what happens during the summer.” Just to never even check up. I understand being busy but he didn’t even wish me happy birthday, which yeah, let’s say he’s too busy. No, he texted me on my birthday actually responding to a picture I sent of my pup. (His request was to give pictures of my dog) I responded THE SECOND HE TEXTED. I simply said “today is my birthday” I didn’t get a text until 2 days later. He’s going through a lot right now, especially since he failed out of the program. He’s planning to go to university and work more to pay for it. I understand he has so much to think of but how is he able to forget me and all of the three years we had together, so quickly. I figured he’d understand that it would be hard on me too. I cry about him everyday. I miss him so much. We were together one day and then broken up the next. He left and never looked back. I just thought maybe people could help me understand how to take that. I’m mad that he has no emotion or empathy towards the pain he’s caused me. I forgot to mention that I told him my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer two days before he broke up with me. He said that the call stressed him out and he didn’t need the stress. I get not being first, I get school and work being important but, did he even love me if he’s able to forget and move on so easily? I feel like I loved him too much and definitely more than he did for me. 3 years of dating and he’s said” I love you “ to me once. And it was like 6 months into dating, he said it by accident, then tried to play it off as if he was saying it to the dog. Then said jokingly to me, “ I was going to say something mean”. Of course I asked him to say it anyways. He goes on to say, “I was going to say, I don’t love you, I could never love you” and that was the last time he ever said it first. The first time I said it he told me thank you, that was 2 years into dating. I just, I don’t know how to take this. I thought he was my soulmate. What do you guys think? Just try and forget about him too? I cry about him every night. My soul feels empty. Everything hurts. I just wish things could’ve worked out.

[First] [Prev]
Dialog Key:
[Translated]: Dates, Units of Measurement, or other Grammatical terms will be retrofitted to be legible for readers while still staying true to their definition
{Exposition}: Immediate context regarding events, People, Entities, or other key points that allow for understanding amongst different cultures.
...The Dekarr Commanders were far more confident now that they were able to counter the Human Superweapons and engage them in traditional Void-naval combat. The Mercs, however, were not as confident in the Commonwealth’s Admirals. They announced their immediate withdrawal 2-weeks ahead of the Human fleet's arrival. The Mercs didn’t really have a void-based naval force, so their only options were to either hold out on the planet until they were bombed into submission or retreat until the invasion force was either defeated or came out victorious.
It would later be learned that Humans were a species of Risk-takers, even in overwhelming odds they would play their assets to their advantage. Despite this, they weren’t insane, and wouldn’t throw themselves unprotected into a star over the sub-atomically small chance they would survive unscathed. This tells you how low of a chance the Mercs thought the Dekarr fleet had, despite their technological advantages and supposed ‘experience’ in Void-Naval skirmishes.
The Commonwealth, despite the many warnings from the PMC, decided to stay behind and hold their ground, even as Dynamo cut their contract, took their due earnings, and left. The Dekarr was not going to fall to the Humans’ [one-trick-pony] again. And they didn’t. They fell to the overwhelming and [frankly] dishonorable tactics the Humans employed repeatedly… And then they fell to the Humans’ [one-trick-pony], just to add injury to insult.
When the Humans jumped in, the Dekarr Generals reported some 50,000 void craft, mostly corvettes and frigates. ‘Outnumbered but not outgunned’ so the Admirals commented, before being ripped to shreds one by one.
You see, the Humans were playing Confidence games within their Confidence games (Which yes, I’ll get to soon), Where they would pepper formations of cruisers and destroyers from afar, with little to no material effect on the ships, but a huge effect on the pride of the captains and commanders of these formations. The Humans would pester these fleets just outside of their effective range, causing hot-headed commanders to stray away from the bulk of the formation and chase after these cowardly Humans, only to find themselves completely swarmed by hidden corvettes and ripped apart.
This continued for months, the Humans once again playing on their knack for attritionary warfare. One by one the Dekarr captains snapped and veered off-course, sometimes inspiring several others to fall to those foolish fates. The Dekarr Admirals had, throughout this entire engagement, stayed relatively still on their Titan craft. Their orders were to hold this system, but the Humans were whittling away at their formations faster than reinforcements could arrive. It was a similar story wherever other Dekarr fleets went. The humans would chisel away at their fleets until there were no fleets left to attack, or ships armed with M.A.C. weaponry would be destroyed, it was only then that Argo-class ships would arrive to mop up the mess.
The battle of Gespoliin was sealed when the Admrials had conceded to firing their M.A.C. artillery at the frigates just to take a little heat off of them, as the M.A.C. weapons were the only things that had the range and accuracy to effectively target the Human ships that always toyed with them just outside of their effective weapon’s ranges. Of course, the reason the Dekarr Admirals were hesitant about firing these weapons is because they could take up to several [minutes] to reload, but they were reaching the end of their rope, and the Admirals needed to bring the fire off of them. Conglomerate forces had barely suffered 50 ships being destroyed, mostly from unfortunate impacts from the nearby asteroid field they hid within, meanwhile, the Humans had destroyed nearly 1,400 of the Dekarr ships; 20% of the fleet! And that’s after counting reinforcements.
Now, allow me to go on a minor digression here on the wildlife of Earth, and how it may have influenced Human military strategy in this situation. If I remember correctly I watched a documentary about a key anthropoid species known as “Bees”, hive-minded pollinators that are vital for the planet’s flora. While for others, this topic may bring up many jokes about outdated Human scientists describing the impossibility of a bee’s ability to fly, what these bugs bring up for me is their defensive measures against predators. You see, some species of bees do have natural weapons, ‘stingers’ as the Humans call them, which stab into the skin and leave a very painful poison whilst also killing the bee, ripping out its organs, and sacrificing itself for the rest of the hive. However, there are some that possess a far more ingenious way of defense against predators.
‘Wasps’ are a close cousin to the bee, however, they are far more aggressive, and they tend to prey on other anthropoids, including their close relatives. Well, instead of stinging wasps to kill them, these stingerless species of bees will lure the wasp into their hives and let one of their own be purposefully caught and killed, taking the wasp’s attention. The other bees will then take that as a sign to rush in and swarm the wasp, generating a massive amount of heat from the friction of their tiny wings which will roast the wasp alive.

heey, so you know how there's this joke about Leonardo DiCaprio not wanting to date older than 25 year-olds?? I'm looking for similar jokes/ideas for a friend's (F) birthday. not sure about the budget, as I'd rather do something myself or DYI it.
if anyone has seen anything online or gifted/received for their 25th birthday - let me know!

Hii, this is only a repost kasi dinelete ko yung post ko yesterday in my other account kasi naguilty ako pero anyways,
So eto na nga, i met this guy on an online game, it was only a friendly chat nung una and ako naman excited kasi baka magka new friend ako, especially sa online pa. Nag-usap kami don sa game na yon until nagstart na siya mag assume ng age ko. Sinabi ko na i’m only 16 and inamin nya na college pa lang siya. Fast forward nung inask nya na discord ko, dun kami nag usap for about 2 weeks but habang nag uusap kami don, nag exhange kami ng social media accs like fb and insta and i also found out na he was 23 so ako naman okay, its fine since friendly lang naman but then he did some things that made me uncomfortable.

• Winallpaper nya ko (yes, i consented him because hindi ako marunong mag say no and natatakot ako na his feelings would be hurt)
• He asked for my pictures and calling it as a “bebe buff” KNOWING IM ALSO A MINOR
• He was always jealous and iniisip na baka maghanap ako ng pogi kesa sakanya (because i sometimes joked about it)
• He wanted to go to my Moving up ceremony but i said no because it was the time that it was starting to get uncomfortable
• He ‘somewhat’ flirted with me while knowing my age, saying na “1 year nalang naman” because my 18th birthday is next year

So when i start gathering my thoughts, i thought about ghosting him. So lumapit ako sa friends ko to rant and they gave me a go signal so i blocked him in everything where he followed me.
Feeling ko ako kasi yung may mali because i unblocked him later on kasi medyo naguilty ako and it was my first time to ever ghost someone pero pagka unblock ko naman sakanya, he called me immediately and i was already regretting that i unblocked him. So wala nakong takas, i lied by saying that my parents found our messages and pinapatigil na nila ako makipag chat sakanya (he knows my parents were strict.) after non binlock ko agad siya and everything.
So, ABYG for ghosting and lying to him?

I made an online friend sometime last year and in the beginning we texted very frequently and called almost every day talking for hours. But two months in, our conversation dwindled and he began replying to my texts every two weeks. And even leaving me on read, so I stopped texting him. He told me his name when we first became friends but I found out later that none of his online friends knew his name and called him by his nickname when I joined one of his chat rooms. I asked why that was the case and he said he didn’t want to talk about it but I should tell anyone his name so I obliged. We barely texted in five months when he suddenly texted me a happy birthday and I thanked him by mentioning his name, he asked if I had told anyone his name and I said no. Then followed it by asking if he was a spy or fbi agent with a laughing emoji obviously joking. I woke up the next day to him blasting my phone and asking accusing me of leaking his name to one of his online friends who apparently knew his name without him telling her. Just to be perfectly clear, he is my online friend I don’t know him in real life, don’t know his friends, and don’t follow any mutual friends of his either. And yet he was accusing strongly because I was his only online friend who knew his name. So I questioned him about whether or not I knew that girl? And he said no. I got really mad and asked why he was accusing me if I didn’t even know the girl? And he said to forget it if I didn’t do it. But I demanded he told me why it was important nobody knew his name? I needed to know why he is keeping his name a secret especially if he is being this paranoid about it. But he started gaslighting me saying our conversation is making him stressed and that we should stop and the my questions are making him go crazy. So I blocked him. Only for him to text me on a different platform where the same argument ensued and he still refused to let me know the reason. Then asked me to unblock him now that the misunderstanding is over?? So I said no, and he said okay then I should have a good life. I said thanks and blocked him there too. My best friend is saying I was a little harsh but I don’t think being friends with someone online that I have never met and don’t even know how he looks, only know his name and age and his followers are 90 women. Who only stresses me out and blue ticks me and only views my status is worth the hassle. AITAH?

Here. And I’d like to start by noticing that Steve Sailer is obviously Delicious Taco’s dad. Having said this.
Good episode. Lots of engagement which I suppose is a net positive for all involved. Obviously a lot of the injury stems from a distortion. The episode’s content fantasized and in fantasy warped into something constituting a threat (no, an outright assault) to the listener’s person. One can simply listen to the episode and see that some (in fact the bulk) of the negative responses are from people reacting to some spectral absent-presence rather than to what is actually being said over the course of the 2 hour long episode. The voices and the discourse have instead been shaped into sonic receptacle containing the reflection of something wildly ugly. Injuriously ugly.
Past few days have been brutal. Found myself doom-viewing the main sub, should know better at this age. Feels like I’ve been transmogrified into an absurd and wretched thing. Must've transgressed against a gnome or something. Fascinating to think about.
I would like nothing more than to shame you.
Miami Summer is a killer. Urine is blood-orange. And my mother deserves better sons.
Why would A&D do this?
Witnessing the rankest comments. In bygone age I’d found them tolerable. Having imagined them delivered by high society homosexual. A damned dandy; chubby, sinister, and flamboyant. Capri on a stick limply held between index and middle fingers, twirling wrist ash’ing on expensive Persian rug. The blurry ghosts of his mother and the kid brother who drowned in the pond all those years ago glaring at him from far-off corner. Clearing throat he launches into sing-song slander head peeling back cackling at his own wickedness. Vile and venomous but charming. Instead what we get is 30+ year old mentally-ill men. Men whose Twitter activity has atrophied their cock and balls. Genitals withering away like the Worker's State, in its place a gasping cloaca, worry not I can clock em from miles away. The odious cloaca-havers are soon joined by ruined drug-addled children and the other women. They talk about A&D in disgusting ways. This is unfair and nasty. I confess to being angry. Sweating blood-specked kerosene. Let the scent fill up the empty air between us. My wrath singeing those overgrown nose hairs.
Of the two I think Anna is the one that inspires the harshest parasocial spite. So much so that I’d recommend she take some protective measures against evil eye and tongue. Maybe take baths with hyssop herb, rose water perfume, and holy water.
It’s as if Anna Khachiyan is a Giant Floating Vagina with teeth and a noticeable overbite. Viewed from another angle it transforms into a Madonna encircled by cherubim. Perhaps we are cruel to Anna in order to be kind to our mothers.
All very pre-Oedipal.
Had to step back and parse it out. Anna draws a comparison between herself and Sailer while also asking him a great question,
07:12-07:49
Anna: “I started reading it during the pandemic because it was the pandemic. I was pregnant and bored and I really relate to you as a person who everyone thinks is like evil and monstrous on the internet, but is actually like quite agreeable and mild mannered in real life. And I was going to ask you this question last, but I may as well just ask it now. How do you feel about your new found popularity? And especially, how do you feel about the fact that you have been effectively adopted by or identified with the hard right?”
The first part of the above extract, the sympathetic recognition, brings to mind a bit of 20th century Hermetic theory concerning harmful thought-forms. Our unconscious self-destructive impulses animating the fantasy-phantasm of the other. Inhabiting their shape. Gaining a degree of autonomy. This artificial entity is vampiric by default, provoking what the Czech magician Franz Bardon calls a "magical persecutory complex"... He goes into detail about such entities in Step VI of his seminal work, Initiation into Hermetics. Describing different types of artificial elementals and phantasms along with details on how to consciously go about creating and dissipating them. One of those artificial psychic entities, the one that concerns us, he calls the schemata. Bardon details two variants, one connected with paranoid persecutory fantasies and the other with erotic obsession. The first type comes about when someone who is “easily excitable, easily influenced or self-important” (Narcissist?) has a run in with another person who has, to put it mildly, a memorable visage and dark personality. The schemata is born from the phantasm modeled after this demonic-looking disagreeable person. The victim begins to attribute all kinds of minor inconveniences to the influence of the ugly person. Deludes themselves into thinking that the ugly/disagreeable person is a powerful black magician. Everything appears to reinforce their paranoid delusions. The schema grows in power feeding off the anxieties of their creatohost. The person might end up committing suicide. This was the persecutory schemas desire, having achieved its goal Bardon notes, “how great is the shock when such a spirit realizes on the mental plane that he has committed a very successful magical suicide. What a bitter disappointment! The demonic looking person, however, has no idea what happened; he was actually only the means to an end.”
God gave us eyes so that we might notice things.
The way I see it:
Being social animals the subject of our fantasy, of our fixations, is the fantasy of the other. What makes the human Human is not that we desire but rather that we desire the desire of the other. An excess desire. We fantasize about what the other is fantasizing and enjoying. Our fantasy of the fantasy of the other is the outlines a fundamental lack within our person, a negativity. Experienced as a splitting of consciousness. Intuiting this lack, becoming aware of it, and attempting to articulate it, we are self-consciousness. This negativity or void is in psychoanalytic terms, the unconscious. We likewise intuit that there had once been some original state. One without lack and contradiction. A state of fullness, without the division between self and object. A harmonious whole. A pure consciousness or as Freud refers to it in Civilization and its Discontents an oceanic feeling. The Original Desire, one that is authentically my own, which was not the desire of the other but which unites our desires in itself. This desire is the extinction of all desires.
The eye that perceives the lovely is at once the eye that perceives what I lack. Perceiving this lack, which explains my present condition, I covet. This is an evil eye. The lover’s gaze is of the same type as the infirm or pathic gaze. Reminded of Zizek’s formulation of one of Hegel’s insights, “Evil resides in the very gaze which perceives Evil all around itself" itself a variation of Meister Eckhart’s “the eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me.” The recognition of evil, the ability to see and judge evil, stems from our ability to recognize disparity. This disparity is already present within our own person, the split-consciousness. The feeling cognized, the awareness of our condition as beings separated from the whole. The clairvoyance of the tyrant and the philosopher.
Suppose that psychopathology is born from our inability to recognize an image as an image.
I intuit something more in this person, something they’re hiding. It can’t just be envy, no. It has to be because I can feel that this thing they’re hiding is sinister. It can’t just be that I feel animosity towards this person, no. It has to be because this person is evil and not just an isolated evil but rather a symptom of a much larger evil. An evil that is responsible for all the suffering in the World, for why my World isn’t the way it should be. It can’t just be attraction, no. It has to be that I intuit something more in this person, something hidden, that I must destroy in order to go on living.
If vile shit comes to mind (as vile things often do, especially when one is immersed in ambient algorithmically-summoned vileness, namely outrage and atrocity porn) they won't affirm it to themselves or try to justify or rationalize it or present it as a rational political stance. And they don’t abstract this particular form of vileness into the primary lens through which they view and interpret cultural phenomena. Unreflexive racial animosity is ugly and fetid. We’re capable of recognizing it, feeling it, as something pathological. We’re also capable of laughing at it. Laughing at ourselves. Look at what our ladies have to say about Stuart Seldowitz (the dude who went viral harassing a halal street vendor) in I’ll Be Missinger. “He sucks,” “he’s a loser,” “he’s obviously sick,” and that he gives the impression of someone who lives alone, will die alone, and will be found weeks or even months after the fact.
Perhaps Red Scare is special in how it manages to elicit absurd, wildly inappropriate responses from listeners. Vulgar and revelatory was it? Steve Sailer elicits a similar response and has become an expert in turning said absurd reactions to his advantage. Generally the cooler-head in any given exchange. While the other person shouts obscenities at a ghost, smashing fists against the post, looking crazy, like a proper hysteric. Sailer breaks the fourth-wall, making eye-contact with the would-be noticer, with a little shake of the head, a little chuckle, a little shrug… “you’re noticing right? See what I have to put up with? Imagine these people defining my legacy.” Still he seems to take it with the good humor of an uncle who will still call you on your birthday, despite your drunken outburst during holiday get-together he will admit to not having resisted the temptation to provoke you, it use to be fun, recall all the cool bands I introduced you too? We use to be best buds, “do you really think anything I’ve said merits this sort of response? Honestly?”
Has to be a cheap trick. A technique employed by an old trickster in decades long honing of craft. Maybe not. Maybe what we see is precisely what we get. Most of the very upsetting things being jokes sincerely intended to lighten the mood. Steve Sailer doesn’t care about the particular political orientation of his audience. He just cares that he has an audience. Grateful for the fans he has. Nonetheless happy that they’re not seething malcontent racists. Even if one disagrees with the methodology, the heuristic, the conclusions. That’s secondary, perhaps even tertiary to the recognition sought. His craftsmanship as a writer.
Why I loved his conflict with Will Stancil. Stancil inspired a lot of pondering for me. Putting things in place…
01:29:22-01:29:28
Anna: “You come for the race science and stay for the prose-styling and vivid story-telling.”
In trying to survive as a writer exiled from Mainstream Conservative media (ConInc) during the Bush Jr years. In fact, correct me if I’m wrong but the cancelation that actually impacted Steve Sailer, setting him down the path we find him in, was brought about not by blue-haired hall monitor millennial leftists but by his “fellow” Conservatives. I imagine that he just went with whoever was willing to take him adapting to the editorial standards and audience sensibilities of the publications willing to provide him succor. Not charity mind you but an ability to engage in his own little labor of love.
Read some Sailer. Might get into that later. But that’s the initial impression I got from Steve. Would be utterly mortified if memorialized as a Racialist Ideologue rather than as an entertaining and thought-provoking journalist. Think I also benefited from seeing how he’s actually received by people who are navigating through (or in certain cases, are mired in) the marginal “Hard Right”-spaces or the Rightwing Digital Ghetto. End up realizing that he isn’t hateful, that what you see is precisely what you get, that he privileges craft over ideology, that his reception and exile from Neocon dominated media outlets (remember these are the people gushing ecstatic over the US invasion of Iraq, manufacturing consent for our adventures in the Middle East) was exceedingly unfair but that he nonetheless managed to persevere. And that he really never goes beyond Norm McDonald in terms of his sardonic wit or The Boondocks animated series in terms of his criticisms. His normality is a great source of stability and comfort for his readers; “noticing” and speculating about these topics doesn’t necessarily lead to one becoming a seething racist.
Returning for a moment to Will Stancil, this was what he inspired:
As the last man standing I spend countless hours immersed in detailed fantasies about the coming apocalypse and my enemy's bliss. A dumb and wicked happiness proportional to my suffering. Easy to imagine other people happy. Hearts unbroken. Unburdened, hydrated, sexually satisfied, debt-free, lucky, successful in all business endeavors. Brute, jezebel, schemer, parasite, rival, betrayer... the whole lot of them thriving. Frolicking in my mind's eye. When the time comes I won't forget that they were happy while...others...suffered.
Find that trying to void your mind of all thought or sit perfectly still for 10 minutes. End up feeling like something requires much less energy from us than nothing. Causes coalescing. Conspiring, to what ends?
You see. The very same principle appears to be at work here. Same pathological base that undergirds genuine racial or ethnic animosity. Fantasizing about the other’s enjoyment and being unable to distinguish between the persecutory Phantasm and the actual human being whose shape it appropriates.
Had a friend recommend forgetting. Forgetting is a dialectical exercise, first you have to acknowledge the thing living rent free in your head and acknowledge its origins... then you have to take the steps to stop feeding it. Letting the thought-form dissolve. Let it be put to rest. Reminded of the practice Orthodox Christian contemplatives call Nepsis.
Other approaches as well, acknowledging the presence of anima veiled in shadow.
But listen…
The podcasts I consume, are a reflection of me as a person. Being what I associate and consume. What does it say about me in particular? Reveal about me? That they should have Steve Sailer on the pod. Settling down. Perhaps some responses could be understood in this light. That a Sailer episode reflects poorly on the listener. Constituting a great betrayal of the love and energy and time I have dedicated over the years to you.
I’m not a racist.
Show me your likes on Twitter and I’ll tell you who you are. The most punitive and brutal god. The idea of the AI nu-god being this, utilizing that standard, is horrifying. Show me your likes on Twitter and I’ll tell you who you are, everything you are, and whether or not you qualify to live.
Shamed, I quietly remove the upvote I gave to the hysterical person and the downvote I gave to him.
Hysteria like a yawn is an empathic contagion.
Back to Anna it’s not because she’s ugly and it sucks that she might nurse this delusion. I actually think Anna is really pretty. Rather I think it’s because she’s a mom. She registers as a maternal figure. That’s one of the reasons I think people respond to her the way they do. As stated earlier. We are cruel to Anna in order to forgive our moms.
[To be continued: Wherein I say horrible things that should never be said to the people I claim to love. Will also interrogate Sailor Socialism]

I (26M) recently discovered that my girlfriend (24F) might still be in contact with her ex, and I'm not sure how to approach the situation. My suspicions arose on her birthday when she got excited about a call from a work colleague. Given my history of being cheated on, I was already sensitive to such things. Later, I saw an Instagram notification from her ex on her phone, increasing my concerns.
When I asked her when she last spoke to him, she claimed it was before we started dating. However, I checked her phone and found they had been interacting intermittently over the past year while we were together. Their interactions included liking stories and brief "how are you" messages.
What really concerned me were a few messages where she initiated conversations, saying she missed him and wished he were at an event we attended together. She explained this as a cultural way of speaking from his country. They also mentioned meeting up when he visited our city, though she claimed these were just empty agreements they never followed through on. Another message had her joking about starting an OnlyFans account due to AI taking over, to which he responded non-flirtatiously.
When I confronted her, she accused me of invading her privacy and said this was traumatizing for her. She also claimed her ex was depressed and that she was just trying to cheer him up when he posted worrying stories. Their relationship lasted seven months and supposedly ended because they didn't have much in common, though I suspect it might have been because he moved away. She always spoke kindly of him, which adds to my suspicions.
After our first fight, she said we should only discuss this once and that I should trust her. Not wanting to hurt her, I was willing to believe her. However, before we slept, she deleted all the texts between them as well as a message to a coworker she had described as flirty, where she commented on a story saying it was a thirst trap and he repeatedly called her "pitchoune." The next day, I couldn't get it out of my mind. When I questioned her, not about deleting the messages or the coworker, she got angry, saying I was being hot and cold and that I didn't want her to talk to any men (which I hadn't mentioned). She then left the house.
During that time, I decided the evidence I saw wasn't damning enough and that deleting her texts with her ex was irrelevant because I believed I saw everything. As for the coworker, the text was in French, which I don't fully understand, so maybe it was okay. We talked things out, but now I don't feel okay seeing her texting or just being on the phone raises my heartbeat. She also started badmouthing the coworker, which didn't sit right, and I don't know what to do.
I'm really struggling to understand if I'm overreacting or if my concerns are valid. She lost her virginity to me, so I feel like cheating should not be in question. Any advice on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: I found out my girlfriend has been texting her ex and a flirty coworker behind my back. She claims it's harmless, but I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or if my concerns are valid. Looking for advice on how to handle this.

I mean she was a neglectful meth head, but when my grandfather let me see her behind my grandmothers' back she seemed to really want to foster a relationship with me.
I was already very eclectic but she introduced me to so many concepts and art and seemed to be supportive of me being openly queer in my teens.
We used to watch scary movies and go to metal shows together, dumpster diving, etc. She really should've never had a kid. She's a big kid herself and I'm not mad about that. She's always cared about animals more than herself too, often having dozens of dogs at a time that she'd find homes for.
In 2019 I let her move in with me when I still had my old home because my aunt committed probate fraud against the both of us and made her homeless. I took her and 15 dogs in because my aunt was driving back and forth past my house trying to intimidate me and I was terrified to be home alone.
My mom wasn't perfect but at least she wasn't like her mother, the conservative nut who raised me...or so I thought.
Lockdown happens and she lost it. She was already up all the time but I'd constantly hear her in these chat rooms with these weird ass men and what made it cringy was how much of a pick-me she was with them.
One time she invited one of her qanon friends over so they could roast me because I don't believe the earth is flat. She literally laughed at me and said ________ has always been ...impressionable hahaha.
She began talking shit about Trans people and started thinking everyone is actually a man. It wasn't long until she was vocal about her disdain for me being gay too. She was never so hateful before, and by her own logic she's probably a man too. She's definitely got the arms of a navy seal and the jawline of someone participating in the fellatio Olympics.
She began inviting all these other awful people to my house, and her meth dealer boyfriend who carried a cross for two years in our town. Even he gets sick of her rants on nasa, vaccines, and transwomen even though he partially agrees her.
I haven't seen her or sent a picture since before my 30th birthday. I'm 31 now and it's because everytime she calls its because she needs to borrow my ID or social security for some bs reason. She ruined my credit and it's taken me years to fix it.
I didn't bother to bring up top surgery to her because I didn't want to hear her vitriol or bronze age mythology references stating that jahovah had a "special role" for me as a "helper" to some scrote. She's already larping like that with breaking bad over there.
Not to mention She's been on the vaccines cause autism train for years, despite the fact that her brother and mother are both on the spectrum and there's a high possibility she is too. I have audhd, the adhd part most likely being from her smoking meth during pregnancy.
I think her homophobia towards me stems from her wanting to be a grandmother but best I can do is four legged cuties.
But on a lighter note I've figured out what I want to send her as a Christmas card:
Me, with my top surgery scars, holding my cat like a baby, by a 5g tower, a NASA hat and a vest that says AUTISM RULES, while I sodomize my equally genderfluid lover while they hold up our vaccine cards.
Whatcha think

So, basically, everything started 2 years ago when I moved to a new house in another city to finish my major in IT. In this republic where a lot of students live (8 at the time), my best friend and I went to live there. Upon arriving, I met this female (21), let’s call her S. We started talking and getting intimate even though she seemed like a good person. However, things happened and I tried to get away from her. But since she is crazy and we live in the same house, that did not work too well. She would do things like lock me in the house with her and hide the key, send her grandma to my house asking me to get with her, and all kinds of messed up things that I’m not writing here (if you want to know, ask in the comments).
It was basically more than a year like that. We were not in a relationship or anything, but that did not matter to her. Everyone at the republic knew but no one ever spoke about it and chose silence, even my best friend. I felt kind of bad because when he needed me, I was there for him. I tried to talk to him but he would always change the subject and did not like to get involved.
It was a year and a half like that. I literally would sleep from 2 am to 12 pm, wake up, go to college, and then come back at 11:00 pm so I wouldn’t interact with her. So, I started talking to a girl at my college and followed her on Instagram (I think that was my mistake where I am now). She followed me back. At first, I was really not looking for a relationship or anything, but I really liked her. She was a cool friend. But S did not like that, not even a little bit. How do I know that? I always was low profile. I did not like posting any photos on social media and all of that. My Instagram does not have a profile pic as well and I did not use it until recently, so I know that if I followed someone new, she would know.
So, after that, things kept going and I was not speaking to her. I had two best friends, one lived with me and the other one lived in my city. So, we used to gather at my place every Sunday and do something. It would come, he and his friends. One day we were talking and this best friend of mine showed his cellphone to this other friend with messages from her. I know that because this friend used to message a girl even though I was already talking to her. And when he showed the message to this other friend (let’s call this one L, he is going to be important later), he looked at me and said “you are screwed” and then we changed the subject.
So, for the next month, I kept my normal life as normal but she and my other friend (let’s call him F) started acting suspicious with her. I tried believing him and pretended I was blind and did not give a damn but he would always make things for me which he did not used to do. He started changing things in his life like going to college all day which was a thing I used to ask him to do so I wouldn’t stay all day by myself in college. He would talk about friendship a lot. I would also reply normally and then I felt like he was being an asshole and got mad at him and stopped talking to him so he would understand that I would do what he was doing (mainly the reason was I would not do that to him). And once she said all of my friends were assholes (she was right in here at least). So, going forward, I would speak to him but if he needed something or talked to me, I would respond normally but was still mad because of all of my friends, he was the one I trusted the most. He acted as if nothing was wrong which I felt he was at the time.
Then one day we were at the basketball game and he said to a lot of teammates that I stopped talking to him and he did not know the motive. So, on Sunday at my house with my friend L, he asked if I was not talking to F. I said that we are kind of in the middle of a fight but if they wanted to call him, they could. Then L said he would not call him since we were not on good terms And then I said okay, and after that, he asked what the reason was. I told him the story, saying I was mad because I felt like F was manipulating me. L believed that my friend F was a good guy because he has a girlfriend and all (he betrayed her after 5 years of relationship with his neighbor, which I knew and L did not, and I did not tell him of course, I ain’t no snitch). So, days passed and it was the birthday of S’s cousins, which I used to go to in previous years, so it was planned (she and her cousins are very close) because his birthday this time was at a public place, in a bar to be more exact. After getting there, I had a surprise because she was with another guy at a table, so everyone got mad at me because “I fought my best friend because of her”.
So, one day after that, my “friend” L said everything to his friend (I’ll call this one Y). So, Y and her had a past together and he did not like her at all. He was my friend too, we’ve known each other for the past 8 years. And then this friend got mad at me as well and everyone started making jokes and all, and I said okay, maybe I was wrong and went to talk to F. I called this other friend to go with me at the time because we used to live together in the past and he grew up together with us. When we arrived at his place, he asked us to wait. So, when he arrived, we started talking. I said I would never do something to mess up his life and he said that everything I thought to be true was only things from my head (as if I was crazy). He said sorry for doing something I did not do and asked if we were alright, and then I said no, we were not. I asked him to come to my house the other day and he came but acted as if nothing was wrong. We talked, joked around, and he went away. I still did not understand, but something was off.
So, days come and everyone on the chat group started wishing I was dead every day, which I felt bad about, not gonna lie. And then the break from college came to an end and I got back to college. But when getting there to play basketball, everyone was acting strange with me. I’m kinda skinny, well I’m way too skinny (I weigh 88 pounds) and they were guarding me with everything they had. I did not understand why, but I quit and went home. The other day, I called my friend F and asked him if he told something to them and he said no, I did not say anything, and then went away. After that, I started asking myself what happened, which messes you up when everyone refuses to talk to you. So, I stopped going to college for a month and when I came back to college, everyone in the college was looking at me with disdain. A lot of them would look away when they saw me. I did not notice until I got to the classroom. When getting there, I chose my place and sat.
So, in this class, there is this girl (I’ll call her C). You know, from when I started college, I ain’t going to lie, she was my first passion. I used to go and wait for her bus to come and take her home and all of that, so she would not go alone at night. But then came the pandemic and we did not talk anymore (mainly my fault). So, coming back to the classroom, she got up and then looked at me. I would not say disgust, but like kinda mad at me, but I did not understand at the time. So, I asked this friend for his water bottle because I forgot mine and when I got up to go to the drinking fountain, he said you can right there, do not need to go anywhere. I did not understand what he was saying but did not give a damn because he is a really good friend, he kinda helped me. And then she got up again. I, knowing her, knew she was trying to tell me something but did not know what. Then this friend (I’ll call him P) asked me to tell the professor why I did not come to his class for almost a month and I said okay and went to talk to him. I said, while everyone was listening, that I did not come because somethings were happening in my life and then he said it’s okay. I went back to my place and at the end of the class, I went out to the bathroom and when I came back, my things were on the ground, which I did not notice why at all. And then this guy came to me and asked if those things that were on the ground were mine. I was making a group with this girl since when the professor asked if someone wanted to make groups with me, they all said no. The professor even asked like that “Why? You guys don’t like him?” I did not understand why as well and just laughed. So, this girl that was making a group with me, when I came back from the bathroom, asked me to take photos of the papers. I said that it did not need to and then she insisted and I said okay and took the photo. When I got home, I was looking at the photos of the papers and I saw a photo I did not remember taking. It was the legs of someone which I assumed took my cellphone and took it. I kinda went into my head thinking what caused this issue. And then I remembered something I told F a while ago because he knew about this girl from the past. So, one day I was in the classroom with She also got up and went to fill her water bottle. I asked her to fill mine as well, but when doing that, I kind of got up and she thought I would go with her, but I did not. :( When she came back, she sat at her chair and lied down, which made me feel bad because I like her. She did not come the next week and the next, she was sitting behind me. She had her bottle on the chair and then I asked her, ‘Can I take your bottle?’ She said, ‘For what?’ I took it anyways and filled her bottle, came back to class, and gave it to her. She said thank you and I told F about this situation, which I thought was the reason.
Then, the other day in the classroom, I came back because there was a misunderstanding and she did not come. I thought she did not want to talk to me and I did not come for the next 2 weeks. Then, I came back on test day and like always, I sit at the same place in the classroom and she knows that, so she sat close to me on the day, which made me happy. Her friends would come every so often and pretend like they would kick my backpack. She got angry at them, looked at them, and they stopped. Then, after that day, I do not know what she said, but everyone treated me normally with no issues and I could come back to college.
So, until here, I have a clue or other about what happened, but I still needed to know who would say something like this to mess me up. Then, I remembered Y because every time something would happen, he would post something on Instagram. When I came back to play basketball in my city, everyone was treating me like crap and then everyone was saying to me that Y was my rival. I did not care that much, I thought they were joking. Then, one of his friends asked if he could sleep in the republic with my mattress and I said, ‘Yes, you can.’ Days later, Y on the group chat asked this friend of his if things went all right and then he responded saying, ‘Yes, everything went all right.’ (He probably slept with S on my mattress.) So, I started asking why he would be so mad at me and something came to my head.
So, Y’s father died of cancer and one day, F and I were at his house. When we were getting out, F looked away and passed this door without looking. Then, I came behind him, looked at the room, and it was Y’s father. He could not talk because his cancer was on his tongue. I looked at him and gave him a thumbs up and he did the same to me. Then, out of his house, I asked F why he would look away in that situation and he said to me, ‘I can’t even look because I pity him.’ Then, I said I would not pity him because I would not like people to pity me. But what F said to him was something different and he believed it. Then, he started threatening, not directly of course, and saying things to all the city like I used to have this friend when growing up and he went to jail because he killed somebody. I told this thing that happened to my friend F that when we were young, 10 years old to be more exact, he kissed a girl I used to like and then I went home and started crying. I said that, but if I remember, in that house, the room where S stays, she can hear us and she probably told Y.
Then, I went to my friend who killed someone’s house (his mom sells food, I buy there since I was a kid). After getting there, I bought my food and when going home, his brother and his friend got up on a motorcycle and passed very close to me as if they were telling me something. I did not understand why as well, but after some time, I understood. So, he is probably not stopped until I’m dead or he kills me and since everyone believes him, I can’t do anything. So, I ask, what can I do in this situation?"

Yes, it’s exactly what you read in the title. I think I have feelings for guy I haven’t met in person. So, a few years ago, I matched with a guy on Tinder. He and I have each other’s social medias, but not one another’s phone numbers. We’ve been messaging each other for a few years on Snapchat until recently.
He and I are close in age,early twenties, and from the same state. He goes to a college a few states away, so we’ve never met in person or when he was back in the same state. In the beginning of the messaging, he and I were consistent with the back and forth. There was flirting, jokes,etc.There were some points where I was more into him and he was more into me, it seemed we were never on the same page. We shared deep personal conversations and light hearted funny conversations. I think he’s really handsome, funny, intelligent, and geeky. And so much more. When I realized my feelings were strong, I tried to make the first move and invite him to my birthday celebration, he respectfully declined and explained that he wouldn’t be able to make it . He had a valid reason, he’s extremely bright(Physics Major, like Math, but Rocket Science) and got into a lab in another state for the summer, great opportunity, so I was very happy for him.
I tried to keep conversations after the fact, but it seems like I just wasn’t clicking with him like I was before. Seems like I was forcing it, and it was very one-sided on my behalf. Having feelings for somebody and having them on all your social media isn’t fun seeing them have fun and just seeing them accomplished things it truly truly makes it harder to keep my feelings to myself. I’m happy for him, but it hurts because I want to be a person that he shares this with.
Me, being states away didn’t help anything it’s not like I would be able to see him or if we pushed the boundary into being something more it would work necessarily. I had hoped though after starting more conversations, yet getting the same results of it feeling like I was bothering him, I kinda just took a break from social media. It’s been roughly 2 months since we’ve spoken. To be honest with you, I think he just forgot about me. Understandably he went to a college that was hours away. He had his friends there. I think his final year of college was this year. He probably even graduated. Which means he’s coming back to our state, his birthday is coming up and I want to spark up conversation by telling him “Happy Birthday” and maybe confessing my feelings to him, if I can’t work up the confidence to confess my feelings that is, I think I should start by offering my number and seeing where it goes from there? Hopefully, meeting him in person!
He’s a genuinely a great person, but I don’t wanna ruin anything we’ve built up to or anything we just have in general. Maybe if I like just wait it out this could just become a fleeting crush, but I don’t wanna stay with the feeling of “what if” . Any advice?

Yesterday was her birthday, and I struggled to gather part of her family to throw her a party at home. I cooked a cake and did some other preparations. It was my first time, and I'm not too good at cooking, so I joked and said that the cake probably wouldn't taste too good. After serving it, well, it wasn't bad, but some of her family members laughed and said, "Who prefers biscuits?" She raised her hand, left the cake, and broke my heart.
If she had prepared a cake for me and organized a birthday party with all my family and cooked a terrible cake (which wasn't that terrible), I would have eaten at least my piece and said, "My girl did this for me; it's delicious." She just laughed at it.
Also, I work all day and have lunch at my office, so I normally bring something to eat or buy food around my workplace. There were pizza leftovers, and she said to her brother-in-law, "You can take them tomorrow for lunch." I stared at her, wondering why she would think of him first.
When we were alone, and I told her I was hurt about the piece of cake she couldn't eat, she told me I was being too much and that "she had eaten a little". When I asked about the leftovers, she said that the pizza wouldn't taste good today.
Then we went to bed, and she didn't apologize. I was crying. She tried to hold me, and I rejected her (protest behavior), and she got up again. When I realized that was her only attempt to make up, I said she wasn't able to say, "Okay, I'm sorry, and I understand that it hurt you." She said she has held me and I had rejected her, only after a while of me venting, she said she was sorry. But I don't know if she was; if she really understood why it hurt that much.
I'm a little devastated because I don't think she can meet my need for reassurance. I think she used to do it, but this time I didn't feel that way, and I don't know what to do because yesterday I felt like I was talking to a wall.
Am I being too much?

"So, basically, everything started 2 years ago when I moved to a new house in another city to finish my major in IT. In this republic where a lot of students live (8 at the time), my best friend and I went to live there. Upon arriving, I met this female (21), let’s call her S. We started talking and getting intimate even though she seemed like a good person. However, things happened and I tried to get away from her. But since she is crazy and we live in the same house, that did not work too well. She would do things like lock me in the house with her and hide the key, send her grandma to my house asking me to get with her, and all kinds of messed up things that I’m not writing here (if you want to know, ask in the comments).

It was basically more than a year like that. We were not in a relationship or anything, but that did not matter to her. Everyone at the republic knew but no one ever spoke about it and chose silence, even my best friend. I felt kind of bad because when he needed me, I was there for him. I tried to talk to him but he would always change the subject and did not like to get involved.
It was a year and a half like that. I literally would sleep from 2 am to 12 pm, wake up, go to college, and then come back at 11:00 pm so I wouldn’t interact with her. So, I started talking to a girl at my college and followed her on Instagram (I think that was my mistake where I am now). She followed me back. At first, I was really not looking for a relationship or anything, but I really liked her. She was a cool friend. But S did not like that, not even a little bit. How do I know that? I always was low profile. I did not like posting any photos on social media and all of that. My Instagram does not have a profile pic as well and I did not use it until recently, so I know that if I followed someone new, she would know.
So, after that, things kept going and I was not speaking to her. I had two best friends, one lived with me and the other one lived in my city. So, we used to gather at my place every Sunday and do something. It would come, he and his friends. One day we were talking and this best friend of mine showed his cellphone to this other friend with messages from her. I know that because this friend used to message a girl even though I was already talking to her. And when he showed the message to this other friend (let’s call this one L, he is going to be important later), he looked at me and said “you are screwed” and then we changed the subject.
So, for the next month, I kept my normal life as normal but she and my other friend (let’s call him F) started acting suspicious with her. I tried believing him and pretended I was blind and did not give a damn but he would always make things for me which he did not used to do. He started changing things in his life like going to college all day which was a thing I used to ask him to do so I wouldn’t stay all day by myself in college. He would talk about friendship a lot. I would also reply normally and then I felt like he was being an asshole and got mad at him and stopped talking to him so he would understand that I would do what he was doing (mainly the reason was I would not do that to him). And once she said all of my friends were assholes (she was right in here at least). So, going forward, I would speak to him but if he needed something or talked to me, I would respond normally but was still mad because of all of my friends, he was the one I trusted the most. He acted as if nothing was wrong which I felt he was at the time.
Then one day we were at the basketball game and he said to a lot of teammates that I stopped talking to him and he did not know the motive. So, on Sunday at my house with my friend L, he asked if I was not talking to F. I said that we are kind of in the middle of a fight but if they wanted to call him, they could. Then L said he would not call him since we were not on good terms And then I said okay, and after that, he asked what the reason was. I told him the story, saying I was mad because I felt like F was manipulating me. L believed that my friend F was a good guy because he has a girlfriend and all (he betrayed her after 5 years of relationship with his neighbor, which I knew and L did not, and I did not tell him of course, I ain’t no snitch). So, days passed and it was the birthday of S’s cousins, which I used to go to in previous years, so it was planned (she and her cousins are very close) because his birthday this time was at a public place, in a bar to be more exact. After getting there, I had a surprise because she was with another guy at a table, so everyone got mad at me because “I fought my best friend because of her”.
So, one day after that, my “friend” L said everything to his friend (I’ll call this one Y). So, Y and her had a past together and he did not like her at all. He was my friend too, we’ve known each other for the past 8 years. And then this friend got mad at me as well and everyone started making jokes and all, and I said okay, maybe I was wrong and went to talk to F. I called this other friend to go with me at the time because we used to live together in the past and he grew up together with us. When we arrived at his place, he asked us to wait. So, when he arrived, we started talking. I said I would never do something to mess up his life and he said that everything I thought to be true was only things from my head (as if I was crazy). He said sorry for doing something I did not do and asked if we were alright, and then I said no, we were not. I asked him to come to my house the other day and he came but acted as if nothing was wrong. We talked, joked around, and he went away. I still did not understand, but something was off.
So, days come and everyone on the chat group started wishing I was dead every day, which I felt bad about, not gonna lie. And then the break from college came to an end and I got back to college. But when getting there to play basketball, everyone was acting strange with me. I’m kinda skinny, well I’m way too skinny (I weigh 88 pounds) and they were guarding me with everything they had. I did not understand why, but I quit and went home. The other day, I called my friend F and asked him if he told something to them and he said no, I did not say anything, and then went away. After that, I started asking myself what happened, which messes you up when everyone refuses to talk to you. So, I stopped going to college for a month and when I came back to college, everyone in the college was looking at me with disdain. A lot of them would look away when they saw me. I did not notice until I got to the classroom. When getting there, I chose my place and sat.
So, in this class, there is this girl (I’ll call her C). You know, from when I started college, I ain’t going to lie, she was my first passion. I used to go and wait for her bus to come and take her home and all of that, so she would not go alone at night. But then came the pandemic and we did not talk anymore (mainly my fault). So, coming back to the classroom, she got up and then looked at me. I would not say disgust, but like kinda mad at me, but I did not understand at the time. So, I asked this friend for his water bottle because I forgot mine and when I got up to go to the drinking fountain, he said you can right there, do not need to go anywhere. I did not understand what he was saying but did not give a damn because he is a really good friend, he kinda helped me. And then she got up again. I, knowing her, knew she was trying to tell me something but did not know what. Then this friend (I’ll call him P) asked me to tell the professor why I did not come to his class for almost a month and I said okay and went to talk to him. I said, while everyone was listening, that I did not come because somethings were happening in my life and then he said it’s okay. I went back to my place and at the end of the class, I went out to the bathroom and when I came back, my things were on the ground, which I did not notice why at all. And then this guy came to me and asked if those things that were on the ground were mine. I was making a group with this girl since when the professor asked if someone wanted to make groups with me, they all said no. The professor even asked like that “Why? You guys don’t like him?” I did not understand why as well and just laughed. So, this girl that was making a group with me, when I came back from the bathroom, asked me to take photos of the papers. I said that it did not need to and then she insisted and I said okay and took the photo. When I got home, I was looking at the photos of the papers and I saw a photo I did not remember taking. It was the legs of someone which I assumed took my cellphone and took it. I kinda went into my head thinking what caused this issue. And then I remembered something I told F a while ago because he knew about this girl from the past. So, one day I was in the classroom with She also got up and went to fill her water bottle. I asked her to fill mine as well, but when doing that, I kind of got up and she thought I would go with her, but I did not. :( When she came back, she sat at her chair and lied down, which made me feel bad because I like her. She did not come the next week and the next, she was sitting behind me. She had her bottle on the chair and then I asked her, ‘Can I take your bottle?’ She said, ‘For what?’ I took it anyways and filled her bottle, came back to class, and gave it to her. She said thank you and I told F about this situation, which I thought was the reason.
Then, the other day in the classroom, I came back because there was a misunderstanding and she did not come. I thought she did not want to talk to me and I did not come for the next 2 weeks. Then, I came back on test day and like always, I sit at the same place in the classroom and she knows that, so she sat close to me on the day, which made me happy. Her friends would come every so often and pretend like they would kick my backpack. She got angry at them, looked at them, and they stopped. Then, after that day, I do not know what she said, but everyone treated me normally with no issues and I could come back to college.
So, until here, I have a clue or other about what happened, but I still needed to know who would say something like this to mess me up. Then, I remembered Y because every time something would happen, he would post something on Instagram. When I came back to play basketball in my city, everyone was treating me like crap and then everyone was saying to me that Y was my rival. I did not care that much, I thought they were joking. Then, one of his friends asked if he could sleep in the republic with my mattress and I said, ‘Yes, you can.’ Days later, Y on the group chat asked this friend of his if things went all right and then he responded saying, ‘Yes, everything went all right.’ (He probably slept with S on my mattress.) So, I started asking why he would be so mad at me and something came to my head.
So, Y’s father died of cancer and one day, F and I were at his house. When we were getting out, F looked away and passed this door without looking. Then, I came behind him, looked at the room, and it was Y’s father. He could not talk because his cancer was on his tongue. I looked at him and gave him a thumbs up and he did the same to me. Then, out of his house, I asked F why he would look away in that situation and he said to me, ‘I can’t even look because I pity him.’ Then, I said I would not pity him because I would not like people to pity me. But what F said to him was something different and he believed it. Then, he started threatening, not directly of course, and saying things to all the city like I used to have this friend when growing up and he went to jail because he killed somebody. I told this thing that happened to my friend F that when we were young, 10 years old to be more exact, he kissed a girl I used to like and then I went home and started crying. I said that, but if I remember, in that house, the room where S stays, she can hear us and she probably told Y.
Then, I went to my friend who killed someone’s house (his mom sells food, I buy there since I was a kid). After getting there, I bought my food and when going home, his brother and his friend got up on a motorcycle and passed very close to me as if they were telling me something. I did not understand why as well, but after some time, I understood. So, he is probably not stopped until I’m dead or he kills me and since everyone believes him, I can’t do anything. So, I ask, what can I do in this situation?"

Hello, kamusta kayong lahat? Medyo mahaba po itong ikukwento ko sainyo. Tungkol sa ex ko na 4 years kami (Tawagin nalang natin syang W). By the way, I am 24F and 25M naman sya. Nagkakilala kami nung college, same school magkaibang course nga lang. Nagmatch kami sa T 🔥- dating app kasi pinatry ako ng mga kaibigan ko eh ako uto-uto tapos di ko naman expected. Sa una syempre masaya kami. Hindi ako kagandahan pero sya chinito na maputi. Idk nga ano nagustuhan nya saakin eh.
During our 1st year na magbf/gf, okay naman sya. Siguro kasi 1st bf ko sya. Hindi pa ako marunong ng mga redflag redflag na yan noon kasi first time. Puro lang kasi ako crush crush nung college. In short bulag ang ate mo kasi inlove. Unang napapansin ko sakanya na akala ko normal, nahihiya sya na makita ng mga blockmates nya na kasama ako. Hindi naman ako ganun kapangit. Tapos naman napansin ko pag nasa mall kami napapalingon sya sa girls yun talaga nagalit ako sabi ko nakaka-bastos sa part ko eh ako marupok pinatawad.
Nung nagpandemic na, nagstart na sya mag-iba ng ugali. Meron pa akong nadiscover meron syang addiction sa p()rn. Yung 365 days nakailang ulit sya kasi nakita ko sa history ng account nya. Nadismaya ako kasi hindi ko alam na meron syang ganun side kasi nung mga previous years okay naman sya or baka bihira kami magkita kasi busy sa schoolworks? Nangungulit din sya magpasend ng video ko or pictures na nud3s pero ayoko talaga nagagalit sya bina block nya ako. Akala ko normal na tampuhan yun redflag na pala. Naalala ko pa nanunuod kami TV lumabas si Ms. Catriona Gray sa isang show sabi nya saakin "Kung ganyan kaganda GF ko buntis agad yan sakin ihi lang pahinga. Joke lang" nagtaasan balahibo ko sa sinabi nya sabi ko "G@go? Ano ba sinasabi mo? Saka sa itsura mong yan papatulan ka nyan?" sobrang inis ko kasi sakanya kaya ganun sinabi ko.
2021, una akong nagka-work saamin. Actually for experience lang kaya ako nag apply bilang JO kahit 6k sahod sabi ko okay lang wala pa naman ako ginagastusan. Kaya simula nung nagwork ako spoiled sya sakin, food, damit, or anything na request nya na afford ko binibili ko kasi mahal ko at tanga ako eh. Dumating sa time na nakaipon sya ng marami kasi binibigyan ko sya 500 or 1k depende sa budget ko monthly yan. Kada lumalabas kami sabi nya wala sya pera edi ako na naman taya pero marami sya ipon ayaw lang gumastos naintindihan ko ulit yun kasi alam ko wala sya work and nagrereview for board exam. Hanggang sa napapansin ko lumalala ang mga luho na umabot sa point nagka-utang utang ako mabili lang gusto nya at takot ako maiwan diba ako si tanga?
2022, dito na gumuho mundo ko. Mid-July right after my birthday I noticed na merong active reactor sa posts nya sa FB. I stalked the girl, hubadera and single mom. Nagduda ako and kinausap sya. Sabi ko "Hi kilala mo si W****?" Grabe kabog dibdib ko kasi alam ko something is wrong I can feel it. Sabi nya yes we're fubu. Grabe as in grabe gulantang ko nanlamig talaga ako di ako makapagsalita nakaramdam ako ng pagkahilo. Sunod sunod na iyak ko. Hindi ako nagkamali sa pagdududa ko. Sabi ko "I see kelan pa?" sinabi nya date and yun yung time na panay hingi sya sakin ng pera it turns out pang check in nila ni single mom and sabi ko "GF nya ko 4 years na kami" di nya raw alam na may GF ang sabi raw kasi "single na 2years ago".
Kinalma ko sarili and nagpasalamat pa sa honesty ni single mom. Chinat ko bf ko and sinabi ko lahat sakanya and ginaslight pako at nagalit na walang katotohanan lahat na sinabi ni single mom. Tinanong ko sya "bakit mo nagawa yun?" sagot nya sakin "Eh kasi nagsasawa na ko sayo." I'm so confused and lost di ko na alam. Durog na durog ako, I mean lahat ng kabaitan, pagmamahal binigay ko, suporta lahat and eto lang ipapalit saakin?
I ghosted him pagod na ko ayoko na. Blocked sa lahat ng soc med, deleted his number and started to move on sabi ko sa sarili ko tama na. After a month, narealize ko isang araw lang pala ako umiyak na malala, kasi kami palang nagmomove-on na ako. Hindi ako natrato ng tama, puro pala ako beg ni isang regalo wala ako natanggap sakanya. Gabi-gabi ko sya iniiyakan nung college bukod sa acads. Puro trauma dinulot nya saakin at problema and hindi ko narealize kasi mahal na mahal ko sya. Nung nakawala ako sakanya parang nawalan ako tinik sa dibdib naging peaceful tulog ko. Mr. Mechanical Engineer napatawad na kita, I'll take it as a blessing hindi ako marunong magtanim ng sama ng loob. Niligtas ako ni Lord sa kagaya mo. And ngayon, I'm so contented na sa buhay ko masaya na ako. Nagagawa ko na mga gusto ko. And si single mom? Last na balita ko sakanya ka-date nya yung classmate mismo ni Ex ko.

My daughter’s birthday is May 8th. I never tried to make it about me and she never complained. Her childhood was hard. Her father had a mental illness that I did my best to protect her from and then he died unexpectedly when she was fourteen. I had to tell her in the high school guidance office because a first responder had posted it on Facebook and I wanted her to hear it from me first. She also has a brother that is 3 years older than her and a sister that is 2 years older than her.
Every year we celebrate her birthday as close to the date as we can. Some years it’s just a family party with grandparents and close siblings and cousins, other times we invite school friends. It depends on where we are in life and what we can afford.
When she was 8 we went to the crayola factory and both her and I got in free because Mother’s Day and her birthday fell on the same day but they made a huge deal about it being mothers day and I felt like she was forgotten.
When she was 10 my parents took her to New York City like they did for all there grand kids but insisted I came along to celebrate Mother’s Day.
The problem is that every year multiple people bring me gifts on her birthday and wish me a happy Mother’s Day.
This year she turned 18. It was a big deal. I had to work the day of her birthday and then she went away to celebrate with friends on a trip.
So we had a big family party a week later. I got her a cake with a fun lighthearted joke about surviving her childhood. The problem is she also got me a cake with a fun lighthearted joke on it.
I just wanted a day for her. Also her graduation is coming up. Maybe I can do something to make it up to her then.

Can I ask for some advice about something? What would you do if you are in my place. my best friend let's call her Ruby. Ruby moved about two years ago now, she was going to come back and visit for graduation week and wanted the friend group to hang out like we used to, when i told her i didn't believe it would be possible she has continued to push for us to all hang out. I finally told her the reason that it would not work out she completely ignored me. Now the reason the friend group hanging like we used to won't work out is because this ex friend of mine who I'll call cici randomly after a school essay I wrote quite talking to me and started to spread rumors about me the essay was supposed to carry so sort of theme that means somthing to us so I wrote mine on how it can feel to be in the middle of a friend group that is arguing and not knowing what to do. I will copy and past the essay below the rest of the story. After I turn the essay in cici somehow gets a hold of it and spins it to sound like I'm attacking her and im bullying her and so for the month of February everyone ignores me which really hurt because I had no idea why as they just on day started to ignore me it also was my birthday that month and I had no one to share it with. After a while lila,Taylor and Sara realize what happened and apologized for what they did and I quite trying to communicate with cici. After I quite reaching out to her and trying to protect a dying fire my mental health improves to a point where not only I noticed but my teachers noticed also. Back to my earlier topic I told ruby that I refuse to hang out with cici because she has been treating me like shit and my parents won't even let me see/talk to her outside a school sanctioned event because at are very last sleep over before she she started to ignore me almost ended with me In the hospital because her brother threatened me with a knife and their dog attacked me because i used self defense to get the knife from her brother. During this sleepover cici's parents were awar of what happened and didn't tell my mom so after that I wasn't allowed back to their house. Even after all that I still tried to keep that friendship alive if not only because I cared for cici but also for ruby. Still despite all these reasons ruby refused to split her time between us and Is no longer coming. AITAH for refusing to hang out with someone who has betrayed my trust and put me in a dangerous situation just because my friend who moved away wants us to hang out together?
Here is the essay
Just because your friends are friends doesn’t mean they will always understand. A few days after spring break in 8th grade my friend Cici started hanging out with a girl that the rest of our friend group doesn’t like because she is mean and rude. So we told her what we thought of this girl and that she could hang out with her but we didn’t want to be near a person like that, however Cici did not listen and kept inviting her to hang out with us. My other friend Sara was starting to get really upset because this girl was calling her names and bullying her. This same girl had also left intentional bruises on my body because I told her I already had a partner in pe. Finally, after months and months of off and on fighting it was the last day of school. Sara had finally had enough of how the girl had treated us and snapped as she listed off all the hateful and violent things that this girl had done to me, Lila, Ruby some of our other friends. The girl then started to ball saying how all of us are liars and cici shouldn'tlisten to us about anything that we say. During this entire situation I stayed quiet and listened to what the others had to say, because I wanted to say something but didn't know what to say to fix the situation.For weeks after that cici and sara refused to talk to each other, until I finally managed to get them to both apologize. Then for a while after that everything seemed good. A new girl who I will call Tyler moved to town and we basically absorbed her into the friend group. Things were going well until about four weeks into our ninth grade year. Sara started to be exceedingly hostile the rude girl Cici had been hanging out with sense last year, Which caused fighting to break out. So then Sara started to distance herself from us to hang out with a guy who i also used to consider a friend i will call him jem. Now the reasonme and jem are no longer friendsis becausehe told my to off myself several times over the course of about two months.So as they are hanging out jem is also constantly flirting with her, so we make a joke that they were dating. This caused sara to explode at everyone in the group chat. When she texted in the group chat she directed all of the texts about it to Cici and when I confessed that it was me who was made and the joke she proceeded to say that it was Cici’s fault and that it “ IS NOT SOMETHING TO JOKE ABOUT!! You know what I think of rumors and dating.” We all replied saying it didn't mean for it to be a big deal and we weren't making fun of her that it was only a joke. Sara proceeded to snap back “If we are in relationships with guys, it's not something to joke about. When other people believe it, then it's too much.” So in response Ruby answered with “You literally would make fun of me and my old boyfriend tim back when we were dating.” Then Lila added, “Yeah you make me feel like crap about me and Carl all the time and guess what you coming after Cici being a jerk to Cici for everything saying that everything that everything the "rude girl" knows and does is because of her. There's also the fact that when you tease and make fun of us we are supposed to deal with it, but when we do it to you we are rude horrible people." Sara’s only response to that was “You guys never said that you weren't ok with it. You just need to tell us, and we will stop. No one ever said anything, so we thought it was ok.” I responded with “who is the we in this situation, because I told people to stop when they crossed a boundary and that one of the only people who never listened or apologized for it was lila. I haven't even taken anybody's side throughout this whole situation” after I say this, Sara goes off again. “I'm done ok. Just leave me out of all this. Be your own friend group. I'll be a singular person, and then I won't have to be a burden to anyone. Sorry I was such a bad friend. Also I don't want any pity.” At this point everyone is annoyed and tired of this situation so Ruby speaks up again telling Sara that she is not the main character and to grow up, and that she started it. After this Sara separates herself from us and as a week turns to two weeks then two weeks turns into a month. Between all of the fighting, homework, sports, and everyday stress I start to become irritable and snappy because no matter how much I try to stay neutral to keep peace, Sara and Cici are always fighting. So one time when the fighting over text picks up again I end up snapping at my family and yelling something at them that everyone would probably be happier if i just died. The next day I tried to act like everything was fine. I ended up making it until PE where I ended up breaking down infront of my teacher and skipping school for the rest of the day in the office crying my eyes out to the guidance counselor. I told her everything that happened and that sometimes when I tell my friends things I don't like or feel comfortable with, they sometimes will forget or ignore what i say. Which always makes me angry or sad because I always take the time to understand and respect my friends boundaries. that's when I realized that just because your friends are friends doesn’t mean they will always understand. Despite that fact I will always respect others boundaries even if they don’t respect mine and I will always remind others of my boundaries or distance myself from them. Just because your friends are friends doesn’t mean they will always understand and just because you can/want to say or do something hurtful doesn’t mean that you should. Know where to darw the line.

I currently (40M) had my ex (35F) completely destroy our relationship while I was working out of town for a few months. This happened a year ago and wish I had these stories as a resource while going through it. I have just started to use Reddit and been reading the experiences of others here and have decided to share my story in hopes it will maybe help others. That way some good may come from some of the worst times of my life.
A little backstory for context for the story and insight to some of the decisions I made. When I turned 30 I left the major city in my Province (it is like a state if you are an American) because buying just a simple house is over a million dollars and I don't make near enough to afford that. My goal was to move to somewhere more rural to buy a house, meet someone, get married and have a child or two. It was my only dream I had and believed I could attain it. I lived out in the bush on my step dads property in a run down trailer I bought so I could save money for the first 3 years. I had my dog but the loneliness of living in the middle of nowhere had got to me. By then I had saved a fair amount of money, so I decided to move into the town. It was nice, it cut my commute down by 40 minutes, I had started to make a few friends and no longer felt so isolated. It was through my friends I met my future ex. Let's call her Kali. She had a long term boyfriend when we first met. Their relationship ended a couple of years after meeting her and we started dating a few months after.
We mostly had a great relationship for the next 4 years. The only thing was it was on again off again. She would dump me after I did anything really special for her for a week and beg me to take her back. It was like clockwork. I used to think it was because of her depression and that she didn't believe she deserved to be truly happy. Nowadays I actually think she might have been cheating the whole time and just felt guilty about it when I did nice stuff for her but I will never know the truth. I don't care what the reality is anymore anyway, Time has a funny way of making stuff like that irrelevant. We did have one bigger break of about 5 months. When it happened I took time off work to travel in my RV the whole time. From spring to summer. I really didn't like the town I lived in and decided to use that time to check out the rest of my Provence to figure out where I wanted to restart my life. She was basically the only reason I stayed for so long. I did have a decent job and family close by but most people I met there were not good people. Lots of drug users, liars, and general scumbags. I had only a few real friends there. After I got back and had decided where I was going to move to she had decided she wanted me back. She begged me to stay and be with her. She told me that she wanted to get serious. We started making real progress about getting married, having kids and looking at buying a house. Everything was coming up Milhouse and I couldn't be happier. So You can probably guess this is when my tale becomes interesting for you and life got real bad for me.
My career is seasonal. I work from spring to the end of fall and can go on unemployment insurance or find work. My dad had asked if I could help on his farm breeding horses that winter when I had still planned to leave my town. I had promised him that I would because it would give me a place to stay before people in my field of work would be looking for employees. This had been agreed upon before me and Kali had got back together. Now I have always been a man of my word. It's something I take great pride in. I have always hated liars. I don't mind a little embellishment to make a story more fun or if two people's stories are different as long as they both believe that was how the events happened. Everyone remembers things slightly off. She was upset that I had intended to keep my word to my dad but I had every second weekend off. The town my dad is in was only a 2 hour drive. So I told her I would be back twice monthly for weekends and that it would only be for 4 months. For the first two months everything seemed fine. During this time I started to look at rings to pop the question and booked an expensive spa for two days in May to propose. There was only one weird thing that happened during the first two months. On one of my visits she confided in me that her brother's wife had cheated on him and that their newborn baby was most likely not his. I was shocked that she not only knew but didn't plan to tell him. She said she didn't want to tell him for fear of breaking up the family. I told her that he has the right to know and that she was being a bad sister by knowing and not telling him. I also informed her if he found out she knew and didn't say anything that he would most likely kick her out of his life. She made me swear I wouldn't tell him. Even though I thought it was wrong I did agree to not say anything. It did get me wondering how she could not only not tell him but stay friends with someone that could do that to her brother. I think that's when I started to question her morals. The third month she asked that I didn't come out because she was "sick". I told her I didn't care, I could still come out and take care of her. She convinced me that she didn't want me to come so I just worked on the farm instead. I switched weekends so I could come out the next instead of in two weekends. The weekend she was "sick" her phone was off the whole time, lasting into the week. She told me her phone went through the washing machine. She was actually on a bender but I didn't learn that till later.
So I head out the following weekend. As soon as I arrive I start getting super sketchy vibes. I was already weirded out about the stuff with her brother and ghosting me for 4 days as we talked/texted multiple times a day normally. At first she acts great to me, cooks me steak and we go out to the bush to have a fire in the snow. At the fire she really started drinking heavily. She then mentions a guy she had been hanging with lets call him Brad. So alarm bells start going through my head. We go back to her house and she keeps drinking. I wanted to keep a clear head so I only had three beers all evening. She put her phone down unlocked because of how drunk she was and I took it to the bathroom with me to look up texts between them. I felt so guilty for doing it at first but once I see the text between the two of them the guilt is replaced with rage. I go to her room to confront her and she breaks down. First, how dare I go through her phone, this never would have happened if I would have broken my promise to my dad, nothing really happened between them, blah, blah, blah. I was furious and drove off. She blows up my phone the whole time. I don't answer. Ten minutes after I left her mother called me. She lives at her moms house. I took the call and her mom said she is freaking out and has harmed herself. I decide to go back and she has a bandage wrapped around her arm. Her mom hid all the sharp objects she could find. She was having a full on panic attack and begs me to not leave. I told her I would stay if she told me the truth. She admits to hooking up with him one time just that last weekend when she asked me not to come out. It kind of matches the messages and I believe her. I stay there till she falls asleep. Once she does I send Brad a text saying that she has a boyfriend with some screen shots of our conversations me and her have had that week. I was about to drive back to the farm when the dude called her phone. I pick up the call and tell him I am her boyfriend. He asks if that was a joke and I assure him it is not. He said he didn't know and actually apologized. I tell him that I'm pissed but if he didn't know I couldn't blame him. I should have asked him more questions but I was tired, not thinking straight and just wanted to go back to the Farm even though it was two am by this point. I get home and crash. Turned my ringer off because I know once she wakes up she will start calling like crazy. After getting the horses in for the night I decided to look at my phone for the first time all day. Around thirty missed calls and a ton of texts. I decide I need another day before I talk to her. Now while the whole day all I can think about is that it was just one time, she seems to be genuinely remorseful about it, how I'm 39 and really want children before I get too old. I took a call from her the next day on Sunday in the morning. She is still wasted. She hadn't stopped drinking since I was there Friday. We talk and I tell her that I am really upset but am willing to give us another chance. I still was in love with her and wanted to have kids, get married and buy a house with her. It was the dream I felt I worked so hard for. She was so happy I took her back and swore to me nothing like this would ever happen again. Basically I was a fool lol.
So I decided on my next set of days off to borrow my stepdads summer home on the river so we can have the place to ourselves. I grab food that she loves so I can cook her dinner and try to make it very romantic. I want to rekindle my love with her so I wanted to go all out on an amazing weekend. I pick her up and she is already a little drunk. I kind of wanted to hang sober but I don't wanna mess up with her so don't say anything thinking we can do a sober day when I take her out to go shopping and dinner the next day. When we get there she gets hammered. Kali had brought a big of bottle fireball on top of a bunch of white claws. I again didn't really drink that night. Once she was drunk and tired I carried her to the bed. As Kali is in my arms she looks up at me and says in slurred words "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Joe" I ask "what did you just say?". "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Brad" she replied. I put her to bed and my mind starts racing. Now her ex before me has a really close name to the one she said first but I also know she has a friend named Joe I only met a couple of times. They were not close or even hung out but were more like acquaintances. I go in her purse to look at her phone again but the battery is dead and I can't find her charger. I have an Iphone so I can't charge it up to look. I didn't sleep that well that night with everything going on in my head. I woke up at 6 am to her being very loud on the phone. I went out to the living room and she had drank all the booze left over from the night before. I ask her who she was on the phone with and she tells me an uber to leave. I ask why is she going to leave? Kali tells me she is upset that I tried to get into her phone. Guess I didn't put it back in her purse. Must have been out of sorts and forgot. I tell her I can drive her once I go to the washroom and get some clothes on. I go to do that, come out of the washroom to see Kali has already left. She was so drunk that she had left half her stuff behind. I decided to have breakfast before bringing her stuff to her house. After breakfast I packed her stuff into my SUV and noticed it had snowed that night. I could see her footprints out into the driveway. While Dropping off her stuff I noticed there were no footprints leading to her house, so I tried calling Kali. No answer. I left her stuff in the snow and decided to drive by her brothers and sisters house to see if there were footprints going into any of their houses but there were none. I sent her a nasty text about knowing she didn't go home, to go be with Brad or Joe or whoever and never call me again. It was a lot more profane than that but that's the gist of it. Cleaned up the house my stepdad lent me and back off to the farm yet again. The next day she blows up my phone and again I wait another day to talk to her. She tells me that she went home but I know that can't be true from the snow, but she says I must have been mistaken. She apologizes for getting drunk and leavening and that she is going to stop drinking after her birthday in two weeks. She has rented a hotel in the town I'm in for her birthday and wants to spend it with me. I agree just because I have to know the truth and want to look at her phone to make sure I am not crazy. She had gaslit me to the point I was questioning what I saw with my own eyes. A couple of days later I decided to send Joe a message on Facebook to see if he would give me the truth. I get a text from her telling me not to bug her friend and that she is embarrassed. I apologize and tell her I am excited about her birthday soon.
The weekend of her birthday comes so I go to meet her at the hotel. She brought her sister and other friend along. It actually is a really fun time. The girls did coke the first night into the second evening. I don't really like it but I figured she can let loose especially if she is going to stop drinking after her birthday. I also knew by Saturday night that they would all crash hard so it would give me time to look at her phone so I could know the truth. As I mentioned the weekend was really fun so I felt bad about going into her phone yet again. I did it anyway and my whole world came crashing down. Now I figured that I would maybe see Brad or Joe texts and Facebook messages. Seemed like Brad was done but Joe and her were totally hooking up. I also found out that she had slept with 3 other guys. I also saw she was using coke all the time now. She did it maybe three times a year when we dated but now it was every weekend. It looked like she started using regularly right before I left for the farm. Joe helped get it for her too, out of all the guys he was the one she hung with the most. Turns out he was also a meth head who was trying to quit for her. She also went to his house the morning she left the other weekend to hook up and buy coke. I was floored. I just staired and took screen shots till the early morning. I decided I wasn't just going to dump her but I wanted to ruin her life not realizing she was already doing that all by herself but hindsight is 20 20. So I started coming up with a plan of what I was going to do. I woke up the next morning and acted like everything was fine and went back to the farm. I was still so upset and didn't want to harm myself or others so had a family friend take my firearms for a while. I don't think I would have used them on myself or others but I knew I wasn't thinking clearly and didn't want them in my house while I was like that.
I didn't have to see her till I moved back because the next set I had off I had tickets for a concert in the city I used to live in. During that time all I thought about was how I was going to do something to ruin her life. I came up with some small things but my main plan was to pretend like we were fine and ghost her when my contract was up with my boss next winter. I had promised him another year after kali and I had gotten back together. Just typing it out makes me look back and cringe that I was so crazy. When I went to the city for the concert I told my best friend, my brother and a few others my plan. No one liked it and thought I should just go no contact, cut her straight out of my life. That probably was the smart thing to do but emotion was clouding my judgement. Also you all would get this story. They even informed me that because I would be lying to her, that I would be compromising my morals and turning into a worse person they didn't recognize. I either didn't see it that way or care. I have a hard time recalling what my brain was thinking during that time. All seems like a haze now that it's been a year. I think I was really upset that my dream and all I had worked for was ruined. A friend later said I may have been in love with the dream and not her. Maybe that's the reason I kept up all this insanity.
My time on the farm had come to an end and I was moving back to the town me and my ex lived in. I was set with my plan, excited to implement it and have what I considered just. But you know what they say of the best laid plans. My ex wanted to go to hang at her brothers as a welcome home party. I went but ended up drinking. Heavily drinking, to the point of black out. I don't remember much from that night but have had it recounted for me. I woke up in the drunk tank. Guess I couldn't lie and play it cool then huh? The story I was told later is, while at her brothers I had gotten drunk and loud. Kept waking up the new baby and we were asked to leave. So we caught a cab and I confronted her in the cab but all I could do was call her a lying, cheating, whore on repeat. She got upset and ran into the house locking me out. I had a bunch of my stuff in her house so I went to the door and demanded she let me in. All the while still only referring to her as the aforementioned 3 words. She told me to leave but my jacket and wallet were inside. It was below freezing at night still and probably wouldn't have made it home in the state I was in. I then kicked in her door to keep calling her LCW and grab my stuff. She was on the phone to the police, so I was taken away by them. One of the lowest points in my life. It still brings me so much shame to this day but it is what happened and I am not going to sugar coat it. I never laid a finger on her and I am so happy that I hadn't. Laying hands on women in that way is one of the scummiest things a man can do. I had to go back to her house once they let me out because my stuff was still there. I apologized to her mom who had been at her boyfriends that evening promising to repair the door for her. Kali begged me to talk to her and like an idiot I didn't just leave. I told her I saw everything and she only admitted to Brad and Joe. Lying about them and the others the whole time. Even when I brought up the screen shots she still couldn't come clean. I left just shaking my head. There is still a ton to this story but this is long enough. I could do a part 2 if there is interest. Catching you folks up to where I am now and the messed up things that happened in between.