Sheep mating video
MLB: The Show - for discussions about our favorite baseball sim
2012.02.11 04:27 coronaride MLB: The Show - for discussions about our favorite baseball sim
The subreddit for all who want to share and talk about their experiences with MLB: The Show. So go ahead; share your Diamond Dynasty triumphs, your Road to the Show career, or tell us how you plan on taking your franchise to the Fall Classic!
2018.10.10 12:47 pomarf MrSuicideSheep
A subreddit dedicated to MrSuicideSheep.
2011.11.05 04:52 some_random_fellow /r/Activision
Activision Publishing, Inc. is an American video game publisher. It was founded on October 1, 1979 and was the world's first independent developer and distributor of video games for gaming consoles.
2024.05.15 17:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 16:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 16:32 droopynipz123 Bombilla keeps clogging with Canaria’s
Hey all, I bought some canarias cause I like the vibe of sipping on my mate for a really long time and I like it strong, so it sounds like Uruguayan mate is the way to go. I checked out some YouTube vids on how to prepare it: -Shake it out, remove some dust -Tilt it sideways, with all the Yerba on one side, and carefully pour tepid water on the empty side to soak the Yerba. -Let soak for 10 mins -Use the bombilla to form the wall/montañita -Covering the tip of the bombilla with my thumb, insert the bombilla directly into the base of the montañita, not scraping the bottom -Pour water, sip and enjoy
Except between “pour water” and “sip and enjoy” it immediately clogs every time.
I’m pretty sure my bombilla is apt for finer yerbas. It’s a spoon style and has pretty small holes. My girlfriend is Argentinian and says it’s not my mate. She has a friend from entre ríos who, among all her friends, is the only one who can make a mate with canarias that doesn’t clog, so it’s a technique issue not an equipment issue.
What can I try to do differently?
Hola todos, tengo un paquetería de canarias que acabo de comprar porque me gusta que dure mucho la Yerba y que sea fuerte, así que quería probar el mate uruguayo. Según los consejos de algunos videos que vi en Youtube, yo armé el mate así:
-Agitar la Yerba para sacar un poco de polvo en la mano -Inclinar el gordo para que la Yerba se queda toda en un costado, haciendo un vacío para sevar el agua -Tirar agua tibia al fondo del vacío para mojar la Yerba, dejando reposar 10 minutos así se absorbe el agua -Con la bombilla hacer la pared/montañita -tapando con el dedo gordo la apertura de la bombilla, meter la bombilla directamente a la base de la montañita
Después de varios intentos me rendí porque siempre me tapaba demasiado.
Mi novia es argentina, me dice que la bombilla es apta para la Yerba fina. Tiene forma cucharita, y es alta calidad de alpaca. Los agujeros no son muy grandes. Ella me dice que es una cuestión de técnica, y que tiene una amiga que entre todas sus amigas es la única que sabe armar un mate uruguayo que no se tape. Siempre le pasan a esta chica el mate porque por más que intente enseñar a las chicas demás, nadie lo puede lograr menos ella.
Que falta para hacer, o que estoy haciendo mal?
Gracias 🙏
submitted by droopynipz123 to yerbamate [link] [comments]
Except between “pour water” and “sip and enjoy” it immediately clogs every time.
I’m pretty sure my bombilla is apt for finer yerbas. It’s a spoon style and has pretty small holes. My girlfriend is Argentinian and says it’s not my mate. She has a friend from entre ríos who, among all her friends, is the only one who can make a mate with canarias that doesn’t clog, so it’s a technique issue not an equipment issue.
What can I try to do differently?
Hola todos, tengo un paquetería de canarias que acabo de comprar porque me gusta que dure mucho la Yerba y que sea fuerte, así que quería probar el mate uruguayo. Según los consejos de algunos videos que vi en Youtube, yo armé el mate así:
-Agitar la Yerba para sacar un poco de polvo en la mano -Inclinar el gordo para que la Yerba se queda toda en un costado, haciendo un vacío para sevar el agua -Tirar agua tibia al fondo del vacío para mojar la Yerba, dejando reposar 10 minutos así se absorbe el agua -Con la bombilla hacer la pared/montañita -tapando con el dedo gordo la apertura de la bombilla, meter la bombilla directamente a la base de la montañita
Después de varios intentos me rendí porque siempre me tapaba demasiado.
Mi novia es argentina, me dice que la bombilla es apta para la Yerba fina. Tiene forma cucharita, y es alta calidad de alpaca. Los agujeros no son muy grandes. Ella me dice que es una cuestión de técnica, y que tiene una amiga que entre todas sus amigas es la única que sabe armar un mate uruguayo que no se tape. Siempre le pasan a esta chica el mate porque por más que intente enseñar a las chicas demás, nadie lo puede lograr menos ella.
Que falta para hacer, o que estoy haciendo mal?
Gracias 🙏
2024.05.15 15:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 15:37 RationalSchizo812020 *PSA* Real life Street Stars: Possibly a Controlled Influencer Psyop
*Update- If anyone is looking for further proof of my point look at the comment section. Some of y'all need to hit the library. 😂
*If anyone takes the time to read and would like to share, feel free to repost and accept the credit, I don't have enough karma to share anywhere else relevant and could care less. All I ask is that you repost it in full and not cherry pick the information you agree or disagree with or whatever will get the most karma. I would like to avoid exactly what I'm describing in the post below. If any claims I make turn out to be false, I'll update and eat my words.*
(I obscured celebrity and influencer names to prevent fans from seeing the post and flagging it)
I saw someone posted an interview with (O *rlando Brow *n) from the channel Real life street Stars and wanted to put out a little PSA for this community. The channel has recently been growing in subscribers because of a 2020 interview with a 90's R&B artist named (J -aguar W r:ight ), who claims to have suffered abuse of all types that she during her time in the industry, and claims she was blacklisted for fighting back. Now she claims she's been on a mission for the last 20 years to bring down the vast networks of famous sex criminals she has firsthand knowledge of. In her first two interviews she speaks pretty eloquently and drops a lot of facts about the industry. Enough to get people sucked in. You'll see in her latest interviews the lady is clearly struggling heavily with some serious mental health and rumored substance issues.
I truly have empathy for her and (O rland,o B row-n,) because they are obvious examples of the Hollywood machine chewing up celebrities, especially with mental illness, and spitting them out. Both of them have publicly struggled for years, and around 2020, were both homeless and started doing YouTube interviews with obscure content creators where they were paid next to nothing to share their traumas with their viewers and creators who use these traumas to form false narratives and clickbait video titles that either are completely false or that are buried in an 8 hour live stream containing a thirty second audio clip that was stolen and reposted from another exploitative content creator's interview. Not only is it taking money out of their pockets, but also monetizing off their trauma, stealing their content and viewers, and harming their credibility even further due to them being blatantly false or misleading the viewers into thinking their all day live stream talking about the aforementioned video and accompanied by a slideshow is the primary source. One thing I've learned is most people will believe or immediately dismiss most information without even trying to read it. If you choose to go down this rabbit hole you should definitely start with their Insta pages and check out the last couple months. Without people majorly censoring and heavily editing their content, you can tell that they are doing this intentionally to hide the fact they are exploiting trauma survivors for petty cash. If you're still not wary, start with their latest interviews they're both total shit shows. Recently with the (Di +ddy stuff and Ka;tt William ,s) interview going viral, the channel "real life street stars" has blown up. Even more so in the last couple weeks with all the K- Anon stuff attracting people to their channels. If you choose to go down the rabbit hole I just beg you to please research ANY claims from ANY content creator and find a source before sharing. A lot of the time they are spitting celebrity fan fiction juxtaposed with occasional pieces of truth and (Jagua /r Wri /ght) was pretty damn convincing until about a year ago.
A lot of people get sucked in with ( Jag !uar W !right's ) first two interviews because she clearly had them prepared for a long time and was reading from a script. Now she's just exploiting the algorithm and spamming clickbait interviews with the craziest titles possible, thus contributing to the same exploitation she claims to be fighting against. This is not to say all her claims are bullshit, both most are recycled 90s and early 2000's gossip that is new to Gen z mixed with any breaking celebrity news or gossip that is big in the media. To make her stories sound more legit she'll Forrest Gump her way into every story and leading people into believing she was a big time celebrity, but these interviews and her instragram scamming are what she's most known for. The last interview she claims to have taken a boat to Epstein Island where she rescued two young girls who were trafficked and then talks about the Dark Web, "Red Rooms," that are pretty well known to be internet myths because if they were real they'd be invite only and require blackmail to access so no one is gonna talk about it even if they do exist. It amazed how many videos popped up overnight repeating her claims as facts and spreading the virus of media manipulation. If you're still thinking, "Hey, you never know!" She also claims these snuf. f videos and videos of celebrity orgies sell for 500 million dollars, which would be enough to build a whole chain of your own red rooms or throw your own Hollywood sex parties and join the fun. I know some people will probably still be curious, but just watch her 2020 interview the rest are trash, also anything with (O r.lando B,rown) is recycled lies mixed with more lies, with a couple buzzwords he's probably required to say so they can add trending topics to their video tags and get a lascivious title.
Another recent example of blatant manipulation is all the shit with (D j A ^kademics) the past couple days. His court records have been public for months with a vivid description of him and two friends drugging and raping a girl that was obviously premeditated and not his first rodeo. He is also now being sued for defamation because he pretty much told his fans she was drunk and asking for it then regretted it later and went on to say he didn't even know she was at the house until the next morning and blamed it on his friends. Meanwhile the court documents clearly show a rap with an e kit being administered and them finding his spermicide which was the same type found in the r word kit. They also describe video evidence of his two friends doing the same thing while she was unconscious, but he screenshotted a section and posted it in his defense saying clearly she was down. There are also identical allegations to the ones made against (D-rake) stating he has a history of hitting up sixteen year olds and grooming them until they turn eighteen and repeated history of similar drug related s. crimes. It took one post on his twitter and his fans started harassing the poor girl for months. The same thing happened to the lady who was a victim of (N$icki Min _aj's) husband who was doxxed by her fans for not dropping the charges. The next day AK was acting like it was all gravy and if anything gained even more followers. This is a brilliant example of why (Dra! ke's) line about being too famous to be a predator is so stupid. Almost as stupid as blatantly defaming the woman who appears to have more the enough evidence to beat him in a civil suit. Which is almost as stupid as he pretended to be during the (e- bony kin g) livestream where he was obviously ignoring the thousands of comments mentioning anything related to sexual crimes, while talking shit on the guy who successfully blackmailed his handler even after possibly being blackmailed himself on the same stream. This stupidity can only be surpassed by the millions of fans who are still watching his content instead of the news and continue regurgitating the lies of someone so fucking stupid who is most likely a s offender. These are the same ones who automatically dismissed the rumors and instantly believed the dog in the kennel story, the same who believed his alibi, and the same people who are the reason most survivors don't come forward and choose not to accept inconvenient truths right in front of their eyes.
Interestingly enough the portal.njcourts.gov site containing A.k's full court documents were offline for hours last night and a certain sight has banned reposting it for fear of doxxing, another great way to quell any dissent amongst the the ranks. Server's crashing often happens when there is a huge influx of web traffic or a site has been a victim of a DDOS attack, which is just an artificial version of the former that uses bots instead of people. I could talk forever about how fucked things are, but this is simply the world we live in. I really want to drive home the point that in order for any movement to retain credibility, everyone needs to stop sharing any type of info unless they're from a verified, reputable source and define the difference between facts and your opinions as clearly as possible. A couple million hits on youtube, twitter memes and tiktoks, and gossip blogs with broad information being deciphered by mostly idiots don't count as credible. Most of these influencers and blogs have been bought and paid for years ago and usually are biased toward certain celebrities based on the perception of whoever's sharing or whoever pays them the most. For a while now rumors have been circulating of influencers doing shady shit in Dubai for the ultra wealthy. Lot's of ties were made to Dra .ke, but have very little supporting evidence. The blind items containing the rumors also made it so anyone could decode the clues, and as soon as these posts made it on to the Kendric kl amar the moderator crew began the "conspiracy," crackdown. It took one mention of q-anon and the majority of the community jumped ship out of fear of association because "Q-anon bad, they're all scizophrenic." Overnight theories that once had been consensus were completely dismissed after being deemed conspiratorial. A couple of days later, the were forced to place a blanket ban on anything them deem, "conspiracies," regardless of it's validity due to their inability to moderate the amount of incoming posts which are almost always spammed at least ten times a day for the next week. This is the exact thing that was done with q, anon and pizzagat, e stuff back in the day. They'd find the nuttiest people to use as an example so they could paint the whole movement in the same light, then dismissed all related information, and completely censored any discussion on most major platforms. I don't subscribe to either, but they were undeniably on to something. The problem was the disinformation campaigns and general stupidity. One was quashed almost overnight because a crazy guy shot into the front window of a pizza shop and it somehow hit their computer and obliterate their hard drive containing possible evidence. The lessons is truth in every lie and it's not hard to find if you know where to look, it's what you do with it that defines who you are as a person. Some people can't handle the truth because it conflict's with their world view and those who do usually suffer because of it. If everyone does their part though, no one would have to die a martyr in its pursuit.
I've noticed a recent pattern of influencers proliferating the spread of false information especially in relation to any sa allegations. This trend really took off when (Kat -t Will/iams's) interview went viral and helped to revitalize his career and reputation. Since then many copycats have come out of the woodworks, hoping to cash in on the trend. Some other common media suppression trends and manipulation tactics to watch out for are synthetic smear campaigns dedicated to destroying the credibility of anyone with alternative beliefs, and it's gotten exponentially worse throughout the years. A great example is all the shit (Y,e). had to deal with through the years, even prior to his antisemitic remarks and all the other famous people who spoke up about their industries and were silenced. (D av+e Chapp? elle) used to talk a lot about the tactics used to humiliate and destroy many influential black men who dared to challenge the system. Another case that's similar to Ak's is the (T/or y La^ne z and M ,egan T (hee Stallio, n) trial. If you look at the court records, it's obvious the shooting was part of a larger altercation. He still might have shot her, but she at the least totally lied her ass off about the actual story to avoid incriminating friends while ensuring they could hit him with a ten year sentence. Not long after (Me ..gan THE" E S !tallion) won three Grammy's and was voted woman of the year, then disappeared off the face of the earth until her manager sued her a couple weeks ago for having sex in front of him and threatening his job over it. There are countless other celebrities and influencers who are clearly wiling to say anything for money, and those who aren't usually have some blackmail on them. There is such an abundance of glaringly obvious disinformation campaigns in the media and most are accepted as gospel without question or are suppressed if they reveal too much, raise too many questions, or start to sway public opinion. Another very common example of this phenomena is the mass release of information that paints a positive image of the celebrity while containing the same buzzwords related to controversies they don't want popping up on anywhere near the top of Google. This keeps any relevant information limited to the most recent AI generated bullshit that plays the algorithm game the best. While doing my investigation, it was unbelievably difficult finding any relevant information from before 2020, and often had to use Duckduckgo to filter out any articles written after 2023. Even then every search engine required extremely specific search terms, which would often still provide me with the exact same results. It got so bad I considered switching to Yandex.
Recently all the things I've discussed have seemingly been kicked into overdrive, especially over the last few weeks. This leads me to believe that a lot more is going down behind the scenes than most realize. I believe the day will come soon when everyone who actively fought to dismiss peoples opinions out of ignorance will be forced to accept these truths whether they like it or not I was a victim myself last week when I shared a detailed, neutral commentary on a rap feud and was shadow banned from a popular subreddit and ignored by it's moderators. This same subreddit is currently deleting any and all information related to the subject I covered. This is why I wanted to raise awareness if this doesn't get suppressed as well. Karma requirements and shadow bans that can sometimes circumvent the use of Vpn's on all connect devices, lead me to believe Reddit as a whole may also be at least partially compromised.
Chances are the same people who promote biased garbage and obvious lies are the same ones who will scroll right past any post containing more then three sentences and the ones who spread any lie they are told without question and accept everything at face value. My personal favorites are the ones who don't read past the title and clog up the comments while obscuring valuable information because they want the spark note version. This is all by design. They are the sheep the government count on to help them consolidate their wealth and power. More and more people are waking every day though. I encourage anyone new to conspiracies to really keep all this in mind going forward, especially with the proliferation of AI powered disinformation bots that dominate your front pages and control the majority of content. If you want to fight against this and keep your freedom of speech, this is a call to arms. To anyone who values the truth, the powers that be will do anything they can to try to censor any public dissidence. Remain steady in your search for truth, and learn how to effectively help other join you in lifting the veil. Stay strong in your convictions and don't allow other's to moderate your options, your beliefs, or your truth.
Thanks for Reading
-The Original Random Moniker
submitted by RationalSchizo812020 to DarkKenny [link] [comments]
*If anyone takes the time to read and would like to share, feel free to repost and accept the credit, I don't have enough karma to share anywhere else relevant and could care less. All I ask is that you repost it in full and not cherry pick the information you agree or disagree with or whatever will get the most karma. I would like to avoid exactly what I'm describing in the post below. If any claims I make turn out to be false, I'll update and eat my words.*
(I obscured celebrity and influencer names to prevent fans from seeing the post and flagging it)
I saw someone posted an interview with (O *rlando Brow *n) from the channel Real life street Stars and wanted to put out a little PSA for this community. The channel has recently been growing in subscribers because of a 2020 interview with a 90's R&B artist named (J -aguar W r:ight ), who claims to have suffered abuse of all types that she during her time in the industry, and claims she was blacklisted for fighting back. Now she claims she's been on a mission for the last 20 years to bring down the vast networks of famous sex criminals she has firsthand knowledge of. In her first two interviews she speaks pretty eloquently and drops a lot of facts about the industry. Enough to get people sucked in. You'll see in her latest interviews the lady is clearly struggling heavily with some serious mental health and rumored substance issues.
I truly have empathy for her and (O rland,o B row-n,) because they are obvious examples of the Hollywood machine chewing up celebrities, especially with mental illness, and spitting them out. Both of them have publicly struggled for years, and around 2020, were both homeless and started doing YouTube interviews with obscure content creators where they were paid next to nothing to share their traumas with their viewers and creators who use these traumas to form false narratives and clickbait video titles that either are completely false or that are buried in an 8 hour live stream containing a thirty second audio clip that was stolen and reposted from another exploitative content creator's interview. Not only is it taking money out of their pockets, but also monetizing off their trauma, stealing their content and viewers, and harming their credibility even further due to them being blatantly false or misleading the viewers into thinking their all day live stream talking about the aforementioned video and accompanied by a slideshow is the primary source. One thing I've learned is most people will believe or immediately dismiss most information without even trying to read it. If you choose to go down this rabbit hole you should definitely start with their Insta pages and check out the last couple months. Without people majorly censoring and heavily editing their content, you can tell that they are doing this intentionally to hide the fact they are exploiting trauma survivors for petty cash. If you're still not wary, start with their latest interviews they're both total shit shows. Recently with the (Di +ddy stuff and Ka;tt William ,s) interview going viral, the channel "real life street stars" has blown up. Even more so in the last couple weeks with all the K- Anon stuff attracting people to their channels. If you choose to go down the rabbit hole I just beg you to please research ANY claims from ANY content creator and find a source before sharing. A lot of the time they are spitting celebrity fan fiction juxtaposed with occasional pieces of truth and (Jagua /r Wri /ght) was pretty damn convincing until about a year ago.
A lot of people get sucked in with ( Jag !uar W !right's ) first two interviews because she clearly had them prepared for a long time and was reading from a script. Now she's just exploiting the algorithm and spamming clickbait interviews with the craziest titles possible, thus contributing to the same exploitation she claims to be fighting against. This is not to say all her claims are bullshit, both most are recycled 90s and early 2000's gossip that is new to Gen z mixed with any breaking celebrity news or gossip that is big in the media. To make her stories sound more legit she'll Forrest Gump her way into every story and leading people into believing she was a big time celebrity, but these interviews and her instragram scamming are what she's most known for. The last interview she claims to have taken a boat to Epstein Island where she rescued two young girls who were trafficked and then talks about the Dark Web, "Red Rooms," that are pretty well known to be internet myths because if they were real they'd be invite only and require blackmail to access so no one is gonna talk about it even if they do exist. It amazed how many videos popped up overnight repeating her claims as facts and spreading the virus of media manipulation. If you're still thinking, "Hey, you never know!" She also claims these snuf. f videos and videos of celebrity orgies sell for 500 million dollars, which would be enough to build a whole chain of your own red rooms or throw your own Hollywood sex parties and join the fun. I know some people will probably still be curious, but just watch her 2020 interview the rest are trash, also anything with (O r.lando B,rown) is recycled lies mixed with more lies, with a couple buzzwords he's probably required to say so they can add trending topics to their video tags and get a lascivious title.
Another recent example of blatant manipulation is all the shit with (D j A ^kademics) the past couple days. His court records have been public for months with a vivid description of him and two friends drugging and raping a girl that was obviously premeditated and not his first rodeo. He is also now being sued for defamation because he pretty much told his fans she was drunk and asking for it then regretted it later and went on to say he didn't even know she was at the house until the next morning and blamed it on his friends. Meanwhile the court documents clearly show a rap with an e kit being administered and them finding his spermicide which was the same type found in the r word kit. They also describe video evidence of his two friends doing the same thing while she was unconscious, but he screenshotted a section and posted it in his defense saying clearly she was down. There are also identical allegations to the ones made against (D-rake) stating he has a history of hitting up sixteen year olds and grooming them until they turn eighteen and repeated history of similar drug related s. crimes. It took one post on his twitter and his fans started harassing the poor girl for months. The same thing happened to the lady who was a victim of (N$icki Min _aj's) husband who was doxxed by her fans for not dropping the charges. The next day AK was acting like it was all gravy and if anything gained even more followers. This is a brilliant example of why (Dra! ke's) line about being too famous to be a predator is so stupid. Almost as stupid as blatantly defaming the woman who appears to have more the enough evidence to beat him in a civil suit. Which is almost as stupid as he pretended to be during the (e- bony kin g) livestream where he was obviously ignoring the thousands of comments mentioning anything related to sexual crimes, while talking shit on the guy who successfully blackmailed his handler even after possibly being blackmailed himself on the same stream. This stupidity can only be surpassed by the millions of fans who are still watching his content instead of the news and continue regurgitating the lies of someone so fucking stupid who is most likely a s offender. These are the same ones who automatically dismissed the rumors and instantly believed the dog in the kennel story, the same who believed his alibi, and the same people who are the reason most survivors don't come forward and choose not to accept inconvenient truths right in front of their eyes.
Interestingly enough the portal.njcourts.gov site containing A.k's full court documents were offline for hours last night and a certain sight has banned reposting it for fear of doxxing, another great way to quell any dissent amongst the the ranks. Server's crashing often happens when there is a huge influx of web traffic or a site has been a victim of a DDOS attack, which is just an artificial version of the former that uses bots instead of people. I could talk forever about how fucked things are, but this is simply the world we live in. I really want to drive home the point that in order for any movement to retain credibility, everyone needs to stop sharing any type of info unless they're from a verified, reputable source and define the difference between facts and your opinions as clearly as possible. A couple million hits on youtube, twitter memes and tiktoks, and gossip blogs with broad information being deciphered by mostly idiots don't count as credible. Most of these influencers and blogs have been bought and paid for years ago and usually are biased toward certain celebrities based on the perception of whoever's sharing or whoever pays them the most. For a while now rumors have been circulating of influencers doing shady shit in Dubai for the ultra wealthy. Lot's of ties were made to Dra .ke, but have very little supporting evidence. The blind items containing the rumors also made it so anyone could decode the clues, and as soon as these posts made it on to the Kendric kl amar the moderator crew began the "conspiracy," crackdown. It took one mention of q-anon and the majority of the community jumped ship out of fear of association because "Q-anon bad, they're all scizophrenic." Overnight theories that once had been consensus were completely dismissed after being deemed conspiratorial. A couple of days later, the were forced to place a blanket ban on anything them deem, "conspiracies," regardless of it's validity due to their inability to moderate the amount of incoming posts which are almost always spammed at least ten times a day for the next week. This is the exact thing that was done with q, anon and pizzagat, e stuff back in the day. They'd find the nuttiest people to use as an example so they could paint the whole movement in the same light, then dismissed all related information, and completely censored any discussion on most major platforms. I don't subscribe to either, but they were undeniably on to something. The problem was the disinformation campaigns and general stupidity. One was quashed almost overnight because a crazy guy shot into the front window of a pizza shop and it somehow hit their computer and obliterate their hard drive containing possible evidence. The lessons is truth in every lie and it's not hard to find if you know where to look, it's what you do with it that defines who you are as a person. Some people can't handle the truth because it conflict's with their world view and those who do usually suffer because of it. If everyone does their part though, no one would have to die a martyr in its pursuit.
I've noticed a recent pattern of influencers proliferating the spread of false information especially in relation to any sa allegations. This trend really took off when (Kat -t Will/iams's) interview went viral and helped to revitalize his career and reputation. Since then many copycats have come out of the woodworks, hoping to cash in on the trend. Some other common media suppression trends and manipulation tactics to watch out for are synthetic smear campaigns dedicated to destroying the credibility of anyone with alternative beliefs, and it's gotten exponentially worse throughout the years. A great example is all the shit (Y,e). had to deal with through the years, even prior to his antisemitic remarks and all the other famous people who spoke up about their industries and were silenced. (D av+e Chapp? elle) used to talk a lot about the tactics used to humiliate and destroy many influential black men who dared to challenge the system. Another case that's similar to Ak's is the (T/or y La^ne z and M ,egan T (hee Stallio, n) trial. If you look at the court records, it's obvious the shooting was part of a larger altercation. He still might have shot her, but she at the least totally lied her ass off about the actual story to avoid incriminating friends while ensuring they could hit him with a ten year sentence. Not long after (Me ..gan THE" E S !tallion) won three Grammy's and was voted woman of the year, then disappeared off the face of the earth until her manager sued her a couple weeks ago for having sex in front of him and threatening his job over it. There are countless other celebrities and influencers who are clearly wiling to say anything for money, and those who aren't usually have some blackmail on them. There is such an abundance of glaringly obvious disinformation campaigns in the media and most are accepted as gospel without question or are suppressed if they reveal too much, raise too many questions, or start to sway public opinion. Another very common example of this phenomena is the mass release of information that paints a positive image of the celebrity while containing the same buzzwords related to controversies they don't want popping up on anywhere near the top of Google. This keeps any relevant information limited to the most recent AI generated bullshit that plays the algorithm game the best. While doing my investigation, it was unbelievably difficult finding any relevant information from before 2020, and often had to use Duckduckgo to filter out any articles written after 2023. Even then every search engine required extremely specific search terms, which would often still provide me with the exact same results. It got so bad I considered switching to Yandex.
Recently all the things I've discussed have seemingly been kicked into overdrive, especially over the last few weeks. This leads me to believe that a lot more is going down behind the scenes than most realize. I believe the day will come soon when everyone who actively fought to dismiss peoples opinions out of ignorance will be forced to accept these truths whether they like it or not I was a victim myself last week when I shared a detailed, neutral commentary on a rap feud and was shadow banned from a popular subreddit and ignored by it's moderators. This same subreddit is currently deleting any and all information related to the subject I covered. This is why I wanted to raise awareness if this doesn't get suppressed as well. Karma requirements and shadow bans that can sometimes circumvent the use of Vpn's on all connect devices, lead me to believe Reddit as a whole may also be at least partially compromised.
Chances are the same people who promote biased garbage and obvious lies are the same ones who will scroll right past any post containing more then three sentences and the ones who spread any lie they are told without question and accept everything at face value. My personal favorites are the ones who don't read past the title and clog up the comments while obscuring valuable information because they want the spark note version. This is all by design. They are the sheep the government count on to help them consolidate their wealth and power. More and more people are waking every day though. I encourage anyone new to conspiracies to really keep all this in mind going forward, especially with the proliferation of AI powered disinformation bots that dominate your front pages and control the majority of content. If you want to fight against this and keep your freedom of speech, this is a call to arms. To anyone who values the truth, the powers that be will do anything they can to try to censor any public dissidence. Remain steady in your search for truth, and learn how to effectively help other join you in lifting the veil. Stay strong in your convictions and don't allow other's to moderate your options, your beliefs, or your truth.
Thanks for Reading
-The Original Random Moniker
2024.05.15 15:21 plain_jane13 Young black and white sheep dog running around neighborhood
My house cam picked up video of a black and white sheep dog running around the Valley Station area in case someone is looking for him/her. Looks like the pup was tied up and broke the cord.
submitted by plain_jane13 to Louisville [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 15:11 Yagidisaster Which Green Day member do you think you would hit it off with and why?
 | After watching countless videos of the Green Day boys I can’t help but think about which ones I’d get along with best in real life. As much as I love Billie and Tre, I honestly think that I would get along best with Mike as he seems the most down to earth and (god forbid!) sensible. Obviously don’t know any of them but based on perception and media presentation which do you think is most likely to be your mate? submitted by Yagidisaster to greenday [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 14:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 13:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 13:32 SolidDrake117 Calorie Mate
Most of my “knowledge” of Japanese food comes from pop culture or video games. After playing Metal Gear Solid 3 again for the first time in over 10 years I’m more curious than ever about CALORIE MATE. Does anyone know if there are places to buy this in the USA? Or would Amazon be my only option?
submitted by SolidDrake117 to JapaneseFood [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 13:11 whydontuuseurmic I was a popular professional player and fell short to false cancel culture
I use to play video games professionally and I played decently and I made it far into qualifying. I loved competing, I love my team mates at the time that were supportive of me and the people who were close to me. My team had gotten as far to the finals of a qualifier and we had faced a team who loved to create drama, they had constantly tried reporting and cheating their way to wins through stealing scrimmage information, vods since they were friends with our opponents. They fell short and lost to us and then they posted that I was racist, framing me and putting out fake screenshots of me saying the n word. Then the next day they hacked into my personal Instagram and all my accounts to get “proof” and post “proof” that I was racist. My team who were such a blessing in this crisis reported them to the actual game developers and they had a full investigation on me, so I refrained from speaking out since we had a tournament. Shortly after we got a report back and the allegations were insufficient and false but they would NOT allow me to post or speak upon it or Id be facing an infraction. I felt afraid to speak up since it had been some time and if people would even care but, it seems like people do care only when it’s bad things about others. I don’t know if I should speak about it anymore but I hope nobody else experiences it. It’s sucks to see my dream crushed and the players that lied still competing, I am disappointed most about how the community’s cancel culture was to insult me and basically tell me I’m a horrible person. Reminder it’s innocent until proven guilty but in this generation it seems like it’s guilty until proven innocent.
submitted by whydontuuseurmic to u/whydontuuseurmic [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 12:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 12:36 AnchorPointsOfficial Anchor Points: Age of Heroes Chapter 9 - Entropy
CHAPTER 9 – ENTROPY
DATE: MARCH 10th, 7 A.U. (AFTER UNIFICATION) LOCATION: SOL SYSTEM, ABOARD UTRN INDOMITABLE WILL
CAPTAIN HENRY O’TOOLE
"Ah, there you are Commander. Your message said there was something you wanted to talk with me about?" Henry asked as his executive officer approached the system map.
“Aye Captain, now's a good a time as any. As you know, the rate of disciplinary incidents has more than tripled in the last two weeks. We've had six fistfights, one near strangling, a few dozen counts of sexual harassment amongst different parties, and a few more incidents of a nature that I would rather not get into for fear of derailing the point of this conversation. I need additional resources to allocate towards ship internal security. With your permission, I'd like to borrow some of our more trusted marines to help the MA's out on their off shifts.” Commander Alvarez asked.
“Yeah, of course, take what you need to nip this in the bud. I can't say I'm entirely surprised; we expected a certain amount of this with the stresses of FTL travel. With everyone cooped up like this, maybe we should brainstorm some new outlets for the crew. Were there any specific incidents I need to get involved with?” Henry replied as he looked up from the list of updates and reports on his own console.
“No, I have it covered. It's just the regs state I need to ask permission to use marines for internal security matters.” The Commander waved it off.
“Excellent, continue to keep me in the loop then. Can I ask you a question?” Henry took the opportunity to ask something that had been bothering him.
“You just did. Hah! Just kidding, put the axe away boy! Now what would you like to know?” He said with a twinkle in his eye.
“I've seen your file, well, the parts that weren’t redacted anyway. If anything, I should be taking your orders! I mean, you're the Space Wolf! Nobody came even close to the number of ships captured or destroyed than you in the early days of the battle for the belt. Why would they want me to be captain when they had someone like you coming along the whole time? Why aren't you a captain anymore? By all right this should be your command, not mine.” Henry asked, after taking one last look around to verify they were still alone around the system map.
Commander Alvarez seemed stunned for a moment before he settled into a more pensive look.
“Listen, son, you're all full of the vigor and high passions of youth. By that I mean you've got a certain fire and aggression in you, yet I've seen you generally keep it balanced by wit and wisdom. You are a perfect match for the job, even if you could use some more real world experience. With some guidance, you'll do just fine, if you can keep strict standards for yourself and crew and a cool head when things get tough."
"I appreciate that, and I will definitely lean on your experience whenever possible. However, you didn't really answer my question... Why aren't you a captain anymore?"
"I... got a lot of damn good men and women killed in an impossible situation when we lost the Michigan-II, and I never truly got over it. No amount of medals, captured enemy ships, or the fact that I've saved many more lives than I lost can make up for that. I finally found peace with that, but that peace required that I relieve myself of any chance of future command. My legacy, for better or worse, is set in stone. Joining this expedition gives me another chance at adjusting the scales without breaking my former vows, even if the only people who will ever know it are here on the voyage with us.”
“So, you claim you have no aims or desires for leadership, but here you are a mere heartbeat away from it.” Henry said, carefully studying his executive officer's every reaction.
“My time for glory is mostly gone, yours is at your feet before you. To the world, I am retired in comfort and isolation. In reality you have me here to help make your will law. You can relax. I already turned down command of this expedition. I was plan A, why do you think they had to scramble to find you? I will take command of this mission only if you are incapable of doing so yourself, Sir. In the meantime, let my experience and whatever wisdom I can offer guide you.”
An emergency alert snapped both of their attention out of their conversation. "There's a fire in one of the officer's cabins?!" Henry’s pulse quickened as he referenced the map to find which one.
“Fuck, it started in Chantal’s room!” Henry said, horrified.
“I've got the CIC under control. Go on and get her out of there, I'll send the cavalry."
“Thank you, Commander.” Henry called back over his shoulder as he rushed for the quick lift.
The officer cabins were the in the very next deck overhead, so he was able to arrive quickly and break into a sprint. The ship shifted as it dodged some antimatter, causing Henry to slip and scramble back to his feet. As he rounded the corner he saw her door was closed and the keypad powered was off. He could hear thumps and muffled screaming from within the room.
"HANG ON CHANTAL, I'M COMING!" Henry shouted in the hope that she could hear him as he pried at the manual override panel.
Two modified Paladin exo-combat armor suits rounded the corner seconds later with a hospitalman trailing behind pushing a medical cart.
"WE'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE, SIR." A speaker-amplified voice spoke from behind him.
One of the Paladin suits accessed the manual control override and forced the door open enough for the other suit to reach in and pry it the rest of the way open as smoke plumed into the corridor. The second suit charged into the room with its flood lights on as a water cannon mounted on the right wrist sprayed flame retardant from a pack on its back. The first suit abandoned the door control and entered, emerging moments later with Chantal awake and coughing from inside the darkened door frame. She was quickly ushered into cleaner air, set gently down, wrapped in a blanket, and was quickly attended to by a hospitalman who began to check her vitals.
Relief flooded Henry’s mind as his adrenaline surge broke against the wall of worry he had built up during his mad dash from the CIC.
“Baby you came for me! I thought I was going to die in there." She pulled him into a tight embrace as she wept in cathartic release.
"Of course I did! I couldn't stand to lose you, especially not over something like this. So, what the hell happened in there?"
"Well you know me, I was all burning the midnight oil and then I smelled smoke! Then there were some sparks, the outlet pops then whoosh! My computer station and my desk are all ablaze along with half my notes, then the damned door wouldn't work! I had to drop to the floor under the smoke and pound on the door in hopes that someone would hear me. God, it was horrible... I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life." She replied with a deep shudder.
"You're safe now, it's going to be alright."
"I know, but what about my work?" She replied with a forlorn look back at her smoke damaged room.
"What about your work?"
"As you know, I lost a ton of it just now, but what’s worse is I don't even have the ability to recover them! Remember how I lost my backup drive last week? Like, I know I packed it and it is not here anywhere! It’s like some sick cosmic joke on me or something. Sorry! Gotta keep it positive, girl! I get to rethink my last few weeks’ worth of work from scratch... that was almost positive! I probably have most of this recoverable from email sent box backups. Fuck, what do you do if there's no good silver lining?” Chantal bemoaned.
Henry couldn’t help himself but laugh for a second, while his girlfriend stared at him, waiting for a response.
“I’m sorry, is this funny to you or something?”
“No, no of course not. This might be one of those times where the only silver lining is that you're alive. Plus, if anyone can remember and rebuild their notes, you can." Henry smiled down at her.
“Fine, fine, at least I am alive. I was only breathing smoke for a few seconds after all.” She said, rolling her eyes. “Thank you for rushing down here right away anyway, it means a lot. You're amazing, you know.”
Henry smiled, slightly uncomfortable for a moment, so he changed the subject.
“I do my best... Anyway, it seems like these electrical issues seem to be getting worse instead of better. Whatever patch these clowns have slapped on my ship to get her to pass inspection is clearly coming undone. What do you think is going on here?” Henry asked in mild exasperation.
“Honestly, I can’t tell you without digging into the systems myself, which I would rather avoid. My plate is full enough as it is right now, especially having to reproduce so much of my own work now. This ship has kilometers of power cables running throughout it, after all, and you have an entire loyal, capable team down there in electrical, so it should only be a matter of time before they sort it out for you. Let them do their jobs without harassing them too much, please?”
Henry felt a little irked at her for not giving him credit to know not to go overboard, but he stowed it, seeing as she ultimately was right.
“The crew has been under a lot of stress, too, between the technical issues with the lights going out, losing power to workstations, or the constant antimatter threat. More than a few people have tried to convince me to turn us around and return to S33 for a more in-depth refit and repair cycle before we try the mission again. So far, everyone has accepted the fact that we are continuing the mission without much argument, but I fear what may happen if these issues are seen as getting worse. Our orders are clear, though, we must continue the journey.” Henry said, uncomfortable with the implications, even if he didn't dare voice it.
“You should get on the Q-Comm to report the fire to S33. Maybe they will order us back to base after this.” She offered, looking for a solution to an impossible problem.
“Good idea, at least the Q-Comm is still working. It’s incredible to me those particles maintained their entanglement once we passed through the baryonic barrier. That alone has been a huge morale boost, being able to contact home base with no time lag.” Henry replied.
“It’s incredible to you because you only have a basic grasp of the science, hon. But that’s alright, very few people truly understand it. That’s in part what you have me here for anyway. Einstein called the effect spooky action from a distance; I always liked that line.”
Henry ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Chantal, with a shake of his head and a smile.
“Listen, Henry, I just had a crazy stressful experience and I need to unwind. Plus, I haven’t slept in almost a day, so I am bone tired. Let’s go to bed, huh? What do you say doc, am I clear to go?” Chantal asked.
The hospitalman closed her eyes and shook her head before responding. "Yes, you are cleared to rest, and only to rest, do you understand me?"
Chantal mouthed a thank you before she took Henry by the hand and led him off to the captain’s quarters. Henry felt no desire to fight it, nor flaw with her reasoning. Sleep sounded good, really good. Plus, he was about an hour from the start of his sleep shift anyway, and Alvarez had the CIC well covered. The lights flickered again, but Henry very purposefully ignored it.
“Hey, since we have a little time and we are both a little wound up, Why don’t we take a shower together real quick?” She said with genuine enthusiasm and a wink.
“Madam, I like the way you think.” The couple raced just a bit faster than regulations would have liked, and arrived at his door in record speed.
Inside the room they fell upon each other in great passion and need, stripping each other out of their BDU’s and underclothes. Henry tossed a giggling Chantal onto the bed, and proceeded to kiss her neck and nibble on her ear causing her to purr in anticipation before he moved down her chest, past her navel, and then eagerly began to move his kisses in between her thighs.
“Hah…. I haven’t showered. Are you sure? Oooookay! I think…. Hah…. Okay.” She said breathlessly as Henry began to work his tongue until she began to shiver and squirm before she cried out as she melted in his mouth.
“Enough, please, I can’t take it anymore! Just fuck me already!” Chantal pulled herself together enough to beg for it. Henry stood rigid and ready and set himself to granting her request, first slowly, and then with a growing intensity. She once more began to squirm as he paid close attention to her hip’s cues, knowing very well by now what she liked.
As she climaxed again, Henry lifted her from the bed and pushed her up against the wall, and then bent her over his desk for a bit before he could take it no longer and they finished together.
“Holy shit… my legs aren’t gonna work for a bit after that one. Help me up?” Chantal said in between shallow breaths.
“Yes, ma’am. It would be my pleasure.” Henry said as he helped her to her feet and into the shower, staying in longer than was strictly necessary.
Henry left the steam first, once more thankful that his cabin included its own small bathroom, rather than a communal one. Being captain had its perks, after all. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, then handed another to Chantal who gratefully accepted it before it dropped to the ground as she stared straight past him.
“Henry!" She squeaked as she pointed past him.
"What?" Henry asked, confused.
"Henry, someone was in here!”
On their bathroom mirror, wiped from the steam were the words TURN BACK.
Henry's blood ran cold and his adrenaline spiked him into overdrive. He waved Chantal back into the shower and put his finger to his lips. She nodded then wrapped herself in her retrieved towel and dropped to the shower floor with her arms wrapped around her knees, whimpering slightly. Henry moved silently along the wall, watching the visible half of his room for any movement. He then burst round the door frame, only to find everything perfectly, precisely as they had left it. The shock of finding nothing collided with the spike of his adrenaline surge, which only fed his growing unease.
“There’s nobody here!” Henry called out after checking the closet, the only other place someone could have hidden.
“Did you lock the door?” Chantal asked, her mind already working on the mystery.
“I set the security protocol to auto lock every time it closes.”
“Paul. We need to talk to Paul.” Chantal said, squeezing her BDU’s up over her hips with a few hops. Henry pulled on his undershirt before tossing over her bra.
“Why would we want to bring that weasel into this?” Henry asked, incredulous at to how he could possibly help.
“Because he has access to the surveillance tapes, why else?”
Henry stared at Chantal, brimming with rage, trying his hardest to keep it isolated to Paul over the invasion of his privacy.
“Did you just say surveillance tapes!?!” Henry asked in an icy tone. “That does it, I’m going to strangle him.” Henry said, moving with a purpose toward the door.
“Stop. Turn around and give me a kiss. I already disabled the video cameras, at least all the ones I could find. He has audio at best, even that I doubt. What he does have that I want is the data from the motion sensor that he had installed just in case you found the more obvious bugs. Unfortunately, I sabotaged its effectiveness by blocking the sensor with dense foam, but there might be enough of something to give us a clue."
“How in the hell do you know about all of this anyway, and why the hell didn’t you tell me?!” Henry roared.
“This entire enterprise is run by an intelligence agency; how can you not have seen that one coming a mile away? I have gotten very good at catching bugs over the years. Just because I expect the invasion of privacy to be happening, doesn’t mean I have to make it easy on them. Just be happy I already took care of the issue, alright?” She replied firmly while staring him in the eyes with raised eyebrows.
“You’re incredible, I love you.” Henry blurted out before he could catch himself. Chantal beamed and tackled him to the bed sitting on his lap.
“What took you so long? Never mind, don’t answer that. I love you too, man have I wanted to say that one for a while now.”
“You know these things aren’t easy for me. I had to be sure, I also didn’t want to mess anything up. We need to be able to work together even if we had turned out to be a bad couple.” Henry admitted, Chantal made an show as she thought it over, but she then smiled and helped Henry to his feet.
“Alright, my captain. You speak great wisdom. While I have certainly felt, and thoroughly enjoyed, the depths of your passion, it is really nice to hear about it too. I do think it makes it all the better that you rule said passion with reason. It’s just one of the many things I love about you.” She said, laying her hand over his heart.
Henry took her other hand and kissed it before replying. “I think above all, I wanted to make sure that I didn’t take you for granted, nor suffer the same in reverse. A wise woman once gave me some great advice there that I have taken to heart.”
“Okay, Romeo, maybe you have a better handle on these things than you think. Now… Let’s go interrogate Paul.” Chantal had a fire in her eyes that Henry was loving very much at that moment.
“I have wanted to turn the screws on that spook for a while now.” Henry smiled as he spoke, and he opened up the connection to the ship’s intranet through his neural implant to send a message.
MEET ME IN YOUR QUARTERS IN 5 MINUTES FOR A DISCUSSION OF CRITICAL IMPORTANCE – CPT. O'TOOLE
“That ought to get him there and alone.” Henry smirked. “Let’s go.”
Together, they made their way to Paul’s equivalent-sized quarters, which he had somehow secured for himself in the ship design to help facilitate his role as the official thorn in Henry’s paw. I guess being the captain’s handler has its perks as well. Henry’s eye twitched at the corner.
After making them wait far too long, Paul opened the door and gesturing them inside. The door closed and Paul turned towards them, narrowing his eyes, studying them both.
“Is this about the fire?” Paul asked before Henry punched the weasel right in the diaphragm, forcing him to gasp for air. The look of shock on his face as he bent forwards was priceless.
“What the fuck, Henry!?” Paul managed to choke out after a minute between gasps.
“Relax, I didn’t do any permanent damage, yet.” Henry said, Paul for just a second showed actual fear in his eyes before he sneered in defiance. “Oh? That got your attention, did it? Why were you spying on me?” Henry growled.
Paul closed his eyes, dropped his head, and began to laugh before Henry grabbed him by the throat and slammed him into the wall. Foolishly, Paul even then kept laughing amidst the gasping. So Henry squeezed until Paul started slapping his arm, looking genuine fear once more growing across his face.
“Orders… I was following orders!” Paul managed to say amidst gasps and coughs.
“I thought it might be something like that. You're going to open up those files, now, and you're going to show me everything.” Henry said, dropping him to his feet at last.
“Fucking hell, Henry, I thought you of all people would have anticipated this was going to be the case. Do you think the people who made this all possible would simply let you fly around the most dangerous, advanced warship in human history without some insurance?”
“Don’t try and weasel out of your own personal culpability here. You may also want to think back to other people who were “only following orders” while performing acts they knew were wrong before you wave that line around like some get out of jail free card.” The fact that he had nothing to say spoke volumes.
“You should have told me, Paul.” Henry growled.
“That defeats the purpose! Plus, your girlfriend sabotaged them all before we ever left S33 anyway, and once more after! That type of tech doesn’t just grow on trees you know, and I don’t have an unlimited supply. You should be thanking me for covering for her and reporting back like things are normal!” Paul shouted in indignation.
“This is pointless, show me the files from around fifteen minutes ago, motion trackers, thermals, anything you have that's not blocked or sabotaged.” Henry commanded. Paul’s eyes narrowed, but after a long moment he huffed and closed his eyes.
Paul then sat down at his station and fired it up.
“Like I said, I've got practically nothing. No video, muffled audio and readings from what I assume to be a faulty motion sensor, that’s it. What are we looking for?”
“Chantal and I were, well, together. After we got out of the shower we saw that someone had written turn back in the condensation on the bathroom mirror. Only problem? My door auto locks when closed and only opens for my biometrics. That is why all of this even came up in the first place.”
“Motherfucker. That's a whole heap of bad news.” Paul said. Henry merely nodded, paying rather more attention to the screen to see if he could catch Paul in a lie about the extent of the spying.
“There’s nothing. No disturbances in the air that would even remotely resemble human movement between you two getting in the shower and you charging into your bedroom. With the noise of the shower and the distance to the microphone, there is nothing I can discern that is anomalous. You can see it all right here for yourself.”
Henry found himself even more confused and alarmed than before.
“How is that possible? Look again, run through some filters or something. There must be some evidence somewhere!”
“Alright, relax, I will get to work on this and get you a report by the end of C shift. In the meantime, you look like a mess. Get some sleep man! I can take care of it from here. Oh, and I want you to remember that I forgave you quite magnanimously for that little episode back there where you attacked me.” Henry and Chantal gave each other a look as Paul spoke.
“Wasn’t gonna apologize anyway, you had it coming. I’m going to hit the rack. I expect that report to be detailed and ready when I get up.” Henry took Chantal by the hand, and they left together, not waiting for a response.
“What a snake. Did you see him in there? Zero guilt or recognition whatsoever about spying like that. It just makes my skin crawl. Gives me bad memories.” Chantal said, turning pensive and quiet.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Henry asked, seeing that there was something clearly bothering her.
“I… had an uncle that lived with us from time to time and he would spy on me when I was dressing, try and sneak looks in the shower, stuff like that. Never touched me or anyone else that I know of, thank god, but man did it screw me up a bit still. Played havoc with my sense of security and even my sanity, never being quite sure it was real or all in my head. I wish I had said something, but I was afraid everyone would think I was overreacting or imagining it. I saw it in his eyes though, that look of... predatory lust. At least I didn't see anything like that in Paul's eyes. To this day it makes my skin crawl.”
“Good God, I can see how alone you must have felt in the middle of all that.” He squeezed her hand, she smiled up at him.
“Yeah, that was one of the hardest parts. I don’t think Paul is some raging pervert or anything, but it concerns me how normalized it was to him. Even if he isn’t being a creep with it, as if we can take his claims to be covering for me at face value. There is still no way I am going to let him have easy access to intimate videos of us, if I can possibly help it.” Chantal said before adding, “I’ll be all right, don’t worry about me. Let’s just get some sleep.”
Henry put his palm against the biometric scanner outside his room and the door slid open for them. They definitely needed some sleep after the emotional roller coaster of the past few hours, and the irresistible warm embrace of his bed called for him. The Q-Comm report could wait until he woke, he decided.
Better to have the electrical inspection ordered up, too.
I WANT A FULL REPORT AND INSPECTION PERFORMED ON THE ELECTRICAL FIRE IN CHANTAL’S ROOM BY THE START OF A SHIFT. – CAPT. O'TOOLE
Good enough. Henry thought as he sent the message. Now he could sleep. The chief could handle it from there.
MEANWHILE…
DATE : MARCH 10th, 7 A.U. LOCATION: SOL SYSTEM, ABOARD UTRN INDOMITABLE WILL
FIREMAN APPRENTICE SARAH CALLAHAN
It'll be back again tonight...
Sarah’s haunted thoughts repeated like a mantra. She had to be ready, but how? Her skin crawled and itched, the long sleeves of her BDU’s prevented her from being able to do anything about the painful sensation from the inflamed scratches they hid. She blearily rubbed at her sunken eyes, and she drained the rest of her coffee. All the numbers on the screen had started bleeding in together and her eyes hurt horribly, with the throbbing pain in her abdomen only compounding her misery.
“My god, Sarah, you look a wreck, hon. How have you been sleeping?” Yvonne, her shift partner asked, with concern in her voice.
“I have a monster tension headache, I just hope the meds kick in soon. Can you check my math? I need to get out of these white lights for a few minutes. Close my eyes for a bit, something, anything. I've been having nightmares again.” Sarah felt good, being able to admit it, and Yvonne had long since proven her friendship, so it was easier to actually speak.
“Yeah, no prob. As soon as I am done here I will check your readings and we can get out of here. Do you mean nightmares from the invasion?” Yvonne asked, carefully picking her words and tone.
“Kind of the same general themes, but different. Everything is going wrong, like the worst possible outcomes of my worst nightmares are all combining together. Like, it feels actively malicious, I don't know, its hard to explain...” Sarah said, bleakly.
“That’s hard, I am sorry. You need a shower, and an uninterrupted nap. Sleep deprivation plays all kinds of hell on the body and mind. I had a friend who went through an insomniac phase so extreme he would go days without sleeping. Wound up in the hospital after trying to drive to work while hallucinating his dead fiancée was sitting in the passenger seat screaming at him to watch out. Wound up rear-ending the car in front of him. Thank God he lived to tell the tale, but that is why it worries me to see you like this.” Yvonne planted her hand on Sarah’s shoulder as she told the story.
“Yikes, I think I slept like two hours into my sleep shift before I started having the nightmares again, woke up, and passed in and out of some restless sleep. It got really bad around oh three hundred. There were sounds... noises like scratching and a loud bang, and the shadows were moving. I just kept feeling like I was being watched, but everyone else seemed to be having disturbed sleep in their bunks. God, it was a creepy feeling.” Sarah took a moment to compose herself.
“I know how crazy this will sound, maybe that I am sleep deprived and likely hallucinating like your friend, but just hear me out. There was something there Yvonne, in the dark at the edge of perception, I could feel it. I also know I wasn’t the only one tossing and turning either. I could also hear scratchy whispering, too. I just hid, strapped in under the weighted blanket. At some point I slept some more, I must have, but not for what felt like a few stressful and draining hours. I'm just making a total mess of explaining this, aren’t I?”
“No, you're fine, girl! I am sorry that happened, my dorm has been pretty quiet, but I have always slept like a rock. Is there anything I can do?”
“I could use a hug.” Sarah said, which caused Yvonne to laugh, breaking some of the tension. They embraced warmly for a good minute, which did wonders for relieving some of the headache and her black mood.
“Thanks, Yvonne, I know it’s all in my head and it’s a vicious feedback cycle due to lack of quality sleep. Thanks for listening without calling me crazy.“ Sarah said, shying away from the last thing she hadn’t the courage to say.
She didn’t dare mention how she had hidden under the covers as she felt it get near. How she had felt something pushing on the mattress. How as her fear peaked, she herself peeked over the covers to find nothing there just to have the oppressive feeling evaporate along with the sensation of pressure by her feet. Her dorm mates all seemed to stop stirring after that, and only then did the nightmares stop for her that night. By then she was left with barely enough time for one last short sleep cycle before the start of A shift that very morning. This was a secret she would have to keep to herself, nobody would believe her anyway.
“I think I'll ask the Chief for a break from my duties today to rest and to visit med bay. Maybe they can give me something to help catch back up on my sleep.” Sarah said.
“Good idea, can I come with? I’ll back you up.” Yvonne said. Sarah smiled at her friend before she nodded at her before they checked off the last of their duties on site and headed away to find the Chief.
submitted by AnchorPointsOfficial to HFY [link] [comments]
DATE: MARCH 10th, 7 A.U. (AFTER UNIFICATION) LOCATION: SOL SYSTEM, ABOARD UTRN INDOMITABLE WILL
CAPTAIN HENRY O’TOOLE
"Ah, there you are Commander. Your message said there was something you wanted to talk with me about?" Henry asked as his executive officer approached the system map.
“Aye Captain, now's a good a time as any. As you know, the rate of disciplinary incidents has more than tripled in the last two weeks. We've had six fistfights, one near strangling, a few dozen counts of sexual harassment amongst different parties, and a few more incidents of a nature that I would rather not get into for fear of derailing the point of this conversation. I need additional resources to allocate towards ship internal security. With your permission, I'd like to borrow some of our more trusted marines to help the MA's out on their off shifts.” Commander Alvarez asked.
“Yeah, of course, take what you need to nip this in the bud. I can't say I'm entirely surprised; we expected a certain amount of this with the stresses of FTL travel. With everyone cooped up like this, maybe we should brainstorm some new outlets for the crew. Were there any specific incidents I need to get involved with?” Henry replied as he looked up from the list of updates and reports on his own console.
“No, I have it covered. It's just the regs state I need to ask permission to use marines for internal security matters.” The Commander waved it off.
“Excellent, continue to keep me in the loop then. Can I ask you a question?” Henry took the opportunity to ask something that had been bothering him.
“You just did. Hah! Just kidding, put the axe away boy! Now what would you like to know?” He said with a twinkle in his eye.
“I've seen your file, well, the parts that weren’t redacted anyway. If anything, I should be taking your orders! I mean, you're the Space Wolf! Nobody came even close to the number of ships captured or destroyed than you in the early days of the battle for the belt. Why would they want me to be captain when they had someone like you coming along the whole time? Why aren't you a captain anymore? By all right this should be your command, not mine.” Henry asked, after taking one last look around to verify they were still alone around the system map.
Commander Alvarez seemed stunned for a moment before he settled into a more pensive look.
“Listen, son, you're all full of the vigor and high passions of youth. By that I mean you've got a certain fire and aggression in you, yet I've seen you generally keep it balanced by wit and wisdom. You are a perfect match for the job, even if you could use some more real world experience. With some guidance, you'll do just fine, if you can keep strict standards for yourself and crew and a cool head when things get tough."
"I appreciate that, and I will definitely lean on your experience whenever possible. However, you didn't really answer my question... Why aren't you a captain anymore?"
"I... got a lot of damn good men and women killed in an impossible situation when we lost the Michigan-II, and I never truly got over it. No amount of medals, captured enemy ships, or the fact that I've saved many more lives than I lost can make up for that. I finally found peace with that, but that peace required that I relieve myself of any chance of future command. My legacy, for better or worse, is set in stone. Joining this expedition gives me another chance at adjusting the scales without breaking my former vows, even if the only people who will ever know it are here on the voyage with us.”
“So, you claim you have no aims or desires for leadership, but here you are a mere heartbeat away from it.” Henry said, carefully studying his executive officer's every reaction.
“My time for glory is mostly gone, yours is at your feet before you. To the world, I am retired in comfort and isolation. In reality you have me here to help make your will law. You can relax. I already turned down command of this expedition. I was plan A, why do you think they had to scramble to find you? I will take command of this mission only if you are incapable of doing so yourself, Sir. In the meantime, let my experience and whatever wisdom I can offer guide you.”
An emergency alert snapped both of their attention out of their conversation. "There's a fire in one of the officer's cabins?!" Henry’s pulse quickened as he referenced the map to find which one.
“Fuck, it started in Chantal’s room!” Henry said, horrified.
“I've got the CIC under control. Go on and get her out of there, I'll send the cavalry."
“Thank you, Commander.” Henry called back over his shoulder as he rushed for the quick lift.
The officer cabins were the in the very next deck overhead, so he was able to arrive quickly and break into a sprint. The ship shifted as it dodged some antimatter, causing Henry to slip and scramble back to his feet. As he rounded the corner he saw her door was closed and the keypad powered was off. He could hear thumps and muffled screaming from within the room.
"HANG ON CHANTAL, I'M COMING!" Henry shouted in the hope that she could hear him as he pried at the manual override panel.
Two modified Paladin exo-combat armor suits rounded the corner seconds later with a hospitalman trailing behind pushing a medical cart.
"WE'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE, SIR." A speaker-amplified voice spoke from behind him.
One of the Paladin suits accessed the manual control override and forced the door open enough for the other suit to reach in and pry it the rest of the way open as smoke plumed into the corridor. The second suit charged into the room with its flood lights on as a water cannon mounted on the right wrist sprayed flame retardant from a pack on its back. The first suit abandoned the door control and entered, emerging moments later with Chantal awake and coughing from inside the darkened door frame. She was quickly ushered into cleaner air, set gently down, wrapped in a blanket, and was quickly attended to by a hospitalman who began to check her vitals.
Relief flooded Henry’s mind as his adrenaline surge broke against the wall of worry he had built up during his mad dash from the CIC.
“Baby you came for me! I thought I was going to die in there." She pulled him into a tight embrace as she wept in cathartic release.
"Of course I did! I couldn't stand to lose you, especially not over something like this. So, what the hell happened in there?"
"Well you know me, I was all burning the midnight oil and then I smelled smoke! Then there were some sparks, the outlet pops then whoosh! My computer station and my desk are all ablaze along with half my notes, then the damned door wouldn't work! I had to drop to the floor under the smoke and pound on the door in hopes that someone would hear me. God, it was horrible... I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life." She replied with a deep shudder.
"You're safe now, it's going to be alright."
"I know, but what about my work?" She replied with a forlorn look back at her smoke damaged room.
"What about your work?"
"As you know, I lost a ton of it just now, but what’s worse is I don't even have the ability to recover them! Remember how I lost my backup drive last week? Like, I know I packed it and it is not here anywhere! It’s like some sick cosmic joke on me or something. Sorry! Gotta keep it positive, girl! I get to rethink my last few weeks’ worth of work from scratch... that was almost positive! I probably have most of this recoverable from email sent box backups. Fuck, what do you do if there's no good silver lining?” Chantal bemoaned.
Henry couldn’t help himself but laugh for a second, while his girlfriend stared at him, waiting for a response.
“I’m sorry, is this funny to you or something?”
“No, no of course not. This might be one of those times where the only silver lining is that you're alive. Plus, if anyone can remember and rebuild their notes, you can." Henry smiled down at her.
“Fine, fine, at least I am alive. I was only breathing smoke for a few seconds after all.” She said, rolling her eyes. “Thank you for rushing down here right away anyway, it means a lot. You're amazing, you know.”
Henry smiled, slightly uncomfortable for a moment, so he changed the subject.
“I do my best... Anyway, it seems like these electrical issues seem to be getting worse instead of better. Whatever patch these clowns have slapped on my ship to get her to pass inspection is clearly coming undone. What do you think is going on here?” Henry asked in mild exasperation.
“Honestly, I can’t tell you without digging into the systems myself, which I would rather avoid. My plate is full enough as it is right now, especially having to reproduce so much of my own work now. This ship has kilometers of power cables running throughout it, after all, and you have an entire loyal, capable team down there in electrical, so it should only be a matter of time before they sort it out for you. Let them do their jobs without harassing them too much, please?”
Henry felt a little irked at her for not giving him credit to know not to go overboard, but he stowed it, seeing as she ultimately was right.
“The crew has been under a lot of stress, too, between the technical issues with the lights going out, losing power to workstations, or the constant antimatter threat. More than a few people have tried to convince me to turn us around and return to S33 for a more in-depth refit and repair cycle before we try the mission again. So far, everyone has accepted the fact that we are continuing the mission without much argument, but I fear what may happen if these issues are seen as getting worse. Our orders are clear, though, we must continue the journey.” Henry said, uncomfortable with the implications, even if he didn't dare voice it.
“You should get on the Q-Comm to report the fire to S33. Maybe they will order us back to base after this.” She offered, looking for a solution to an impossible problem.
“Good idea, at least the Q-Comm is still working. It’s incredible to me those particles maintained their entanglement once we passed through the baryonic barrier. That alone has been a huge morale boost, being able to contact home base with no time lag.” Henry replied.
“It’s incredible to you because you only have a basic grasp of the science, hon. But that’s alright, very few people truly understand it. That’s in part what you have me here for anyway. Einstein called the effect spooky action from a distance; I always liked that line.”
Henry ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Chantal, with a shake of his head and a smile.
“Listen, Henry, I just had a crazy stressful experience and I need to unwind. Plus, I haven’t slept in almost a day, so I am bone tired. Let’s go to bed, huh? What do you say doc, am I clear to go?” Chantal asked.
The hospitalman closed her eyes and shook her head before responding. "Yes, you are cleared to rest, and only to rest, do you understand me?"
Chantal mouthed a thank you before she took Henry by the hand and led him off to the captain’s quarters. Henry felt no desire to fight it, nor flaw with her reasoning. Sleep sounded good, really good. Plus, he was about an hour from the start of his sleep shift anyway, and Alvarez had the CIC well covered. The lights flickered again, but Henry very purposefully ignored it.
“Hey, since we have a little time and we are both a little wound up, Why don’t we take a shower together real quick?” She said with genuine enthusiasm and a wink.
“Madam, I like the way you think.” The couple raced just a bit faster than regulations would have liked, and arrived at his door in record speed.
Inside the room they fell upon each other in great passion and need, stripping each other out of their BDU’s and underclothes. Henry tossed a giggling Chantal onto the bed, and proceeded to kiss her neck and nibble on her ear causing her to purr in anticipation before he moved down her chest, past her navel, and then eagerly began to move his kisses in between her thighs.
“Hah…. I haven’t showered. Are you sure? Oooookay! I think…. Hah…. Okay.” She said breathlessly as Henry began to work his tongue until she began to shiver and squirm before she cried out as she melted in his mouth.
“Enough, please, I can’t take it anymore! Just fuck me already!” Chantal pulled herself together enough to beg for it. Henry stood rigid and ready and set himself to granting her request, first slowly, and then with a growing intensity. She once more began to squirm as he paid close attention to her hip’s cues, knowing very well by now what she liked.
As she climaxed again, Henry lifted her from the bed and pushed her up against the wall, and then bent her over his desk for a bit before he could take it no longer and they finished together.
“Holy shit… my legs aren’t gonna work for a bit after that one. Help me up?” Chantal said in between shallow breaths.
“Yes, ma’am. It would be my pleasure.” Henry said as he helped her to her feet and into the shower, staying in longer than was strictly necessary.
Henry left the steam first, once more thankful that his cabin included its own small bathroom, rather than a communal one. Being captain had its perks, after all. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, then handed another to Chantal who gratefully accepted it before it dropped to the ground as she stared straight past him.
“Henry!" She squeaked as she pointed past him.
"What?" Henry asked, confused.
"Henry, someone was in here!”
On their bathroom mirror, wiped from the steam were the words TURN BACK.
Henry's blood ran cold and his adrenaline spiked him into overdrive. He waved Chantal back into the shower and put his finger to his lips. She nodded then wrapped herself in her retrieved towel and dropped to the shower floor with her arms wrapped around her knees, whimpering slightly. Henry moved silently along the wall, watching the visible half of his room for any movement. He then burst round the door frame, only to find everything perfectly, precisely as they had left it. The shock of finding nothing collided with the spike of his adrenaline surge, which only fed his growing unease.
“There’s nobody here!” Henry called out after checking the closet, the only other place someone could have hidden.
“Did you lock the door?” Chantal asked, her mind already working on the mystery.
“I set the security protocol to auto lock every time it closes.”
“Paul. We need to talk to Paul.” Chantal said, squeezing her BDU’s up over her hips with a few hops. Henry pulled on his undershirt before tossing over her bra.
“Why would we want to bring that weasel into this?” Henry asked, incredulous at to how he could possibly help.
“Because he has access to the surveillance tapes, why else?”
Henry stared at Chantal, brimming with rage, trying his hardest to keep it isolated to Paul over the invasion of his privacy.
“Did you just say surveillance tapes!?!” Henry asked in an icy tone. “That does it, I’m going to strangle him.” Henry said, moving with a purpose toward the door.
“Stop. Turn around and give me a kiss. I already disabled the video cameras, at least all the ones I could find. He has audio at best, even that I doubt. What he does have that I want is the data from the motion sensor that he had installed just in case you found the more obvious bugs. Unfortunately, I sabotaged its effectiveness by blocking the sensor with dense foam, but there might be enough of something to give us a clue."
“How in the hell do you know about all of this anyway, and why the hell didn’t you tell me?!” Henry roared.
“This entire enterprise is run by an intelligence agency; how can you not have seen that one coming a mile away? I have gotten very good at catching bugs over the years. Just because I expect the invasion of privacy to be happening, doesn’t mean I have to make it easy on them. Just be happy I already took care of the issue, alright?” She replied firmly while staring him in the eyes with raised eyebrows.
“You’re incredible, I love you.” Henry blurted out before he could catch himself. Chantal beamed and tackled him to the bed sitting on his lap.
“What took you so long? Never mind, don’t answer that. I love you too, man have I wanted to say that one for a while now.”
“You know these things aren’t easy for me. I had to be sure, I also didn’t want to mess anything up. We need to be able to work together even if we had turned out to be a bad couple.” Henry admitted, Chantal made an show as she thought it over, but she then smiled and helped Henry to his feet.
“Alright, my captain. You speak great wisdom. While I have certainly felt, and thoroughly enjoyed, the depths of your passion, it is really nice to hear about it too. I do think it makes it all the better that you rule said passion with reason. It’s just one of the many things I love about you.” She said, laying her hand over his heart.
Henry took her other hand and kissed it before replying. “I think above all, I wanted to make sure that I didn’t take you for granted, nor suffer the same in reverse. A wise woman once gave me some great advice there that I have taken to heart.”
“Okay, Romeo, maybe you have a better handle on these things than you think. Now… Let’s go interrogate Paul.” Chantal had a fire in her eyes that Henry was loving very much at that moment.
“I have wanted to turn the screws on that spook for a while now.” Henry smiled as he spoke, and he opened up the connection to the ship’s intranet through his neural implant to send a message.
MEET ME IN YOUR QUARTERS IN 5 MINUTES FOR A DISCUSSION OF CRITICAL IMPORTANCE – CPT. O'TOOLE
“That ought to get him there and alone.” Henry smirked. “Let’s go.”
Together, they made their way to Paul’s equivalent-sized quarters, which he had somehow secured for himself in the ship design to help facilitate his role as the official thorn in Henry’s paw. I guess being the captain’s handler has its perks as well. Henry’s eye twitched at the corner.
After making them wait far too long, Paul opened the door and gesturing them inside. The door closed and Paul turned towards them, narrowing his eyes, studying them both.
“Is this about the fire?” Paul asked before Henry punched the weasel right in the diaphragm, forcing him to gasp for air. The look of shock on his face as he bent forwards was priceless.
“What the fuck, Henry!?” Paul managed to choke out after a minute between gasps.
“Relax, I didn’t do any permanent damage, yet.” Henry said, Paul for just a second showed actual fear in his eyes before he sneered in defiance. “Oh? That got your attention, did it? Why were you spying on me?” Henry growled.
Paul closed his eyes, dropped his head, and began to laugh before Henry grabbed him by the throat and slammed him into the wall. Foolishly, Paul even then kept laughing amidst the gasping. So Henry squeezed until Paul started slapping his arm, looking genuine fear once more growing across his face.
“Orders… I was following orders!” Paul managed to say amidst gasps and coughs.
“I thought it might be something like that. You're going to open up those files, now, and you're going to show me everything.” Henry said, dropping him to his feet at last.
“Fucking hell, Henry, I thought you of all people would have anticipated this was going to be the case. Do you think the people who made this all possible would simply let you fly around the most dangerous, advanced warship in human history without some insurance?”
“Don’t try and weasel out of your own personal culpability here. You may also want to think back to other people who were “only following orders” while performing acts they knew were wrong before you wave that line around like some get out of jail free card.” The fact that he had nothing to say spoke volumes.
“You should have told me, Paul.” Henry growled.
“That defeats the purpose! Plus, your girlfriend sabotaged them all before we ever left S33 anyway, and once more after! That type of tech doesn’t just grow on trees you know, and I don’t have an unlimited supply. You should be thanking me for covering for her and reporting back like things are normal!” Paul shouted in indignation.
“This is pointless, show me the files from around fifteen minutes ago, motion trackers, thermals, anything you have that's not blocked or sabotaged.” Henry commanded. Paul’s eyes narrowed, but after a long moment he huffed and closed his eyes.
Paul then sat down at his station and fired it up.
“Like I said, I've got practically nothing. No video, muffled audio and readings from what I assume to be a faulty motion sensor, that’s it. What are we looking for?”
“Chantal and I were, well, together. After we got out of the shower we saw that someone had written turn back in the condensation on the bathroom mirror. Only problem? My door auto locks when closed and only opens for my biometrics. That is why all of this even came up in the first place.”
“Motherfucker. That's a whole heap of bad news.” Paul said. Henry merely nodded, paying rather more attention to the screen to see if he could catch Paul in a lie about the extent of the spying.
“There’s nothing. No disturbances in the air that would even remotely resemble human movement between you two getting in the shower and you charging into your bedroom. With the noise of the shower and the distance to the microphone, there is nothing I can discern that is anomalous. You can see it all right here for yourself.”
Henry found himself even more confused and alarmed than before.
“How is that possible? Look again, run through some filters or something. There must be some evidence somewhere!”
“Alright, relax, I will get to work on this and get you a report by the end of C shift. In the meantime, you look like a mess. Get some sleep man! I can take care of it from here. Oh, and I want you to remember that I forgave you quite magnanimously for that little episode back there where you attacked me.” Henry and Chantal gave each other a look as Paul spoke.
“Wasn’t gonna apologize anyway, you had it coming. I’m going to hit the rack. I expect that report to be detailed and ready when I get up.” Henry took Chantal by the hand, and they left together, not waiting for a response.
“What a snake. Did you see him in there? Zero guilt or recognition whatsoever about spying like that. It just makes my skin crawl. Gives me bad memories.” Chantal said, turning pensive and quiet.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Henry asked, seeing that there was something clearly bothering her.
“I… had an uncle that lived with us from time to time and he would spy on me when I was dressing, try and sneak looks in the shower, stuff like that. Never touched me or anyone else that I know of, thank god, but man did it screw me up a bit still. Played havoc with my sense of security and even my sanity, never being quite sure it was real or all in my head. I wish I had said something, but I was afraid everyone would think I was overreacting or imagining it. I saw it in his eyes though, that look of... predatory lust. At least I didn't see anything like that in Paul's eyes. To this day it makes my skin crawl.”
“Good God, I can see how alone you must have felt in the middle of all that.” He squeezed her hand, she smiled up at him.
“Yeah, that was one of the hardest parts. I don’t think Paul is some raging pervert or anything, but it concerns me how normalized it was to him. Even if he isn’t being a creep with it, as if we can take his claims to be covering for me at face value. There is still no way I am going to let him have easy access to intimate videos of us, if I can possibly help it.” Chantal said before adding, “I’ll be all right, don’t worry about me. Let’s just get some sleep.”
Henry put his palm against the biometric scanner outside his room and the door slid open for them. They definitely needed some sleep after the emotional roller coaster of the past few hours, and the irresistible warm embrace of his bed called for him. The Q-Comm report could wait until he woke, he decided.
Better to have the electrical inspection ordered up, too.
I WANT A FULL REPORT AND INSPECTION PERFORMED ON THE ELECTRICAL FIRE IN CHANTAL’S ROOM BY THE START OF A SHIFT. – CAPT. O'TOOLE
Good enough. Henry thought as he sent the message. Now he could sleep. The chief could handle it from there.
MEANWHILE…
DATE : MARCH 10th, 7 A.U. LOCATION: SOL SYSTEM, ABOARD UTRN INDOMITABLE WILL
FIREMAN APPRENTICE SARAH CALLAHAN
It'll be back again tonight...
Sarah’s haunted thoughts repeated like a mantra. She had to be ready, but how? Her skin crawled and itched, the long sleeves of her BDU’s prevented her from being able to do anything about the painful sensation from the inflamed scratches they hid. She blearily rubbed at her sunken eyes, and she drained the rest of her coffee. All the numbers on the screen had started bleeding in together and her eyes hurt horribly, with the throbbing pain in her abdomen only compounding her misery.
“My god, Sarah, you look a wreck, hon. How have you been sleeping?” Yvonne, her shift partner asked, with concern in her voice.
“I have a monster tension headache, I just hope the meds kick in soon. Can you check my math? I need to get out of these white lights for a few minutes. Close my eyes for a bit, something, anything. I've been having nightmares again.” Sarah felt good, being able to admit it, and Yvonne had long since proven her friendship, so it was easier to actually speak.
“Yeah, no prob. As soon as I am done here I will check your readings and we can get out of here. Do you mean nightmares from the invasion?” Yvonne asked, carefully picking her words and tone.
“Kind of the same general themes, but different. Everything is going wrong, like the worst possible outcomes of my worst nightmares are all combining together. Like, it feels actively malicious, I don't know, its hard to explain...” Sarah said, bleakly.
“That’s hard, I am sorry. You need a shower, and an uninterrupted nap. Sleep deprivation plays all kinds of hell on the body and mind. I had a friend who went through an insomniac phase so extreme he would go days without sleeping. Wound up in the hospital after trying to drive to work while hallucinating his dead fiancée was sitting in the passenger seat screaming at him to watch out. Wound up rear-ending the car in front of him. Thank God he lived to tell the tale, but that is why it worries me to see you like this.” Yvonne planted her hand on Sarah’s shoulder as she told the story.
“Yikes, I think I slept like two hours into my sleep shift before I started having the nightmares again, woke up, and passed in and out of some restless sleep. It got really bad around oh three hundred. There were sounds... noises like scratching and a loud bang, and the shadows were moving. I just kept feeling like I was being watched, but everyone else seemed to be having disturbed sleep in their bunks. God, it was a creepy feeling.” Sarah took a moment to compose herself.
“I know how crazy this will sound, maybe that I am sleep deprived and likely hallucinating like your friend, but just hear me out. There was something there Yvonne, in the dark at the edge of perception, I could feel it. I also know I wasn’t the only one tossing and turning either. I could also hear scratchy whispering, too. I just hid, strapped in under the weighted blanket. At some point I slept some more, I must have, but not for what felt like a few stressful and draining hours. I'm just making a total mess of explaining this, aren’t I?”
“No, you're fine, girl! I am sorry that happened, my dorm has been pretty quiet, but I have always slept like a rock. Is there anything I can do?”
“I could use a hug.” Sarah said, which caused Yvonne to laugh, breaking some of the tension. They embraced warmly for a good minute, which did wonders for relieving some of the headache and her black mood.
“Thanks, Yvonne, I know it’s all in my head and it’s a vicious feedback cycle due to lack of quality sleep. Thanks for listening without calling me crazy.“ Sarah said, shying away from the last thing she hadn’t the courage to say.
She didn’t dare mention how she had hidden under the covers as she felt it get near. How she had felt something pushing on the mattress. How as her fear peaked, she herself peeked over the covers to find nothing there just to have the oppressive feeling evaporate along with the sensation of pressure by her feet. Her dorm mates all seemed to stop stirring after that, and only then did the nightmares stop for her that night. By then she was left with barely enough time for one last short sleep cycle before the start of A shift that very morning. This was a secret she would have to keep to herself, nobody would believe her anyway.
“I think I'll ask the Chief for a break from my duties today to rest and to visit med bay. Maybe they can give me something to help catch back up on my sleep.” Sarah said.
“Good idea, can I come with? I’ll back you up.” Yvonne said. Sarah smiled at her friend before she nodded at her before they checked off the last of their duties on site and headed away to find the Chief.
2024.05.15 12:06 reracked377 Like... what if?
....
https://zenodo.org/records/6210570
https://ibb.co/0V8yCGB
https://ibb.co/JvncMQ4
https://ibb.co/pLc96p2
https://ibb.co/NVq0CFk
https://ibb.co/sFy0xDY
She looks like Jennifer Doudna, literally:
https://ibb.co/gD5rPy9
What if?
What if the lipo-nanoparticles and the ACE2 gene-silencing CRISPR RNA-gene-drive 'inoculation' program are part of Club of Rome's Odum's "reduce America's population by 2/3rds hopefully voluntarily by 2030?" What if this was and will become Utopia? What if Deagel's 2025 population statistics that accounts for this 2/3rds population reduction, which was sponsored by Kissinger, the Rockefeller foundation and Edwin Deagle Jr., knows more about this?
https://ibb.co/Pr9YffM
https://ibb.co/bvcf1F7
https://ibb.co/b2JcCS1
https://ibb.co/3TK03M0
https://ibb.co/HPs7nX8
https://ibb.co/Rvb0ZDB
Utopia (UK):
https://ibb.co/2KNmdCH
Where is ACE2 located? Also in mitochondria, the cell's battery. Why cancer? CRISPR, mitochondria and p53 disruption, oxidative stress. Once modRNA gets into cells, they're released to hijack cell's machinery to produce full-spike proteins, endlessly. Spike proteins downregulate ACE2-protein expression of mitochondrias and silence p53 the guardian of genome. And the CRISPR Cas9/Cas12a awaits for gRNA to act.
An idea of giving cells the instructions to synthesize pathogenic spike-protein to develop immunity is imbecilic in the first place. But urging people to get one without a prescription promising getting back to normal (that's been destroyed for this purpose) - a crime.
But Rockefeller's (Rockefellos) Cub of Rome would never think of doing anything like this. The network in Utopia is fictional, right? Read Kissinger report, read the Jaffe memo!
Rockefeller's Population Council:
https://ibb.co/Wk9CWhz
https://ibb.co/kQkHmkk
https://ibb.co/Q8dw9QN
https://ibb.co/drTNH1n
https://ibb.co/N2p6vms
You see, just like women refused to smoke in public until they saw it as a form of liberation. Covid is our liberation. If things go to plan. We won't know for many years.
The public would never support the most powerful men working to reduce the numbers of the "lower class" until we saw OURSELVES as a deadly virus to the planet. That's been the goal from the get-go.
In the population control document that Rockefellers sponsored it suggests multiple methods of involuntary sterilization such as adding “fertility control agents” to water supplies, temporary sterilization of all young women “via time-capsule contraceptives,” and compulsory sterilization of men with three or more children.
Those are just ideas they floated, it's not like they ever funded or implemented them. It's not like they made an anti-fertility vaccine! They did.
HCG is the same pregnancy hormone that is used in conjunction with Tetanus in that SAME ROCKEFELLER FOUNDATION FUNDED INDIAN INFERTILITY VACCINE. Doctors in the Philippines and Mexico also claimed to have found HCG in their WHO distributed Tetanus vaccines in the 90s (they did). The WHO didn't fund the development of that Indian vaccine (BECAUSE THE ROCKEFELLER FOUNDATION DID)!
https://ibb.co/cyXwns8
https://ibb.co/y5QVdc6
https://ibb.co/bXNNmhS
https://ibb.co/bKfNqrf
It is important to note that this Anti-fertility vaccine has been in development since 1988 thru 2014 to this day.
It does appear as if the Rockefellers have implemented their "involuntary fertility control" and have used Tetanus vaccines as cover to test this pet project of theirs, but that's speculation.
The goal of the network also reminds me of "Children of Men," originally published in 1992 and set in England in 2021.
https://ibb.co/V3fyDKH
Given the quality of sperm declining due to fluoride, chemical exposure and such, and mRNA-medicine affecting fertility of men and women, that's the exact match.
Joel E Cohen, the Rockefeller University Professor on Population heavily acknowledged the significant drop in fertility rate of white populations in US and EU, explaining driven immigration to sustain the level and boost 'economic prosperity.' As the saying goes, Just as the Egyptians made G‑d’s firstborn (the Israelities) suffer, G‑d punished - measure for measure - the Egyptians’ firstborn. All the firstborn would lose the life-energy that until then kept them alive." This is the 188th Mitzvah and accompanies the gene drive which is Janus to a T. Bye, bye!
https://ibb.co/y41N4NK
https://ibb.co/vBdPw1x
https://ibb.co/rdtvXDH
To solve population bomb, just sterilize the entire world with:
https://ibb.co/mFdwT9S
https://ibb.co/7bzKWZj
https://ibb.co/Y2Bmtp4
https://ibb.co/rbT0hbf
https://ibb.co/Cs33JWK
https://ibb.co/9wS8cfz
https://ibb.co/WpQcVZH
https://ibb.co/XZWnnqF
https://ibb.co/ZcHB5D6
https://ibb.co/tMS5nMq
https://ibb.co/FKggvdg
Presented for your viewing:
https://ibb.co/wrz03dk
https://ibb.co/JWZt7bL
https://ibb.co/qnSyYVp
https://eandt.theiet.org/content/articles/2017/12/darpa-invests-100-million-in-gene-drive-technology/…
Harvard, Wyss Institute - CRISPR-Cas9: Gene-drive:
https://wyss.harvard.edu/media-post/crispr-cas9-gene-drives/
https://ibb.co/wzxtjHh
https://ibb.co/8mJ455t
And to conclude, Epstein associate George Church, who said arranged marriages using gene sequencing as Haredim have been doing is ideal; Epstein associate Martin Nowak - Evolutionary dynamics of CRISPR-Cas9 gene drives (2016)...
https://biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/057281v1.full
...with Matthew Liao, want to design humans using gene editing.
https://ibb.co/QdqsfyJ
https://ibb.co/zQv8rDs
https://ibb.co/PQtDgvh
https://ibb.co/jDQkB7x
https://ibb.co/TR023k6
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bioe.12519
Here's the end; how fun it will be, how fun, indeed:
https://ibb.co/8rbdNzY
In Grant's drawings it says they put the ghost cell in the buffalo and the man eats the buffalo and rots. People won't physically rot from consuming the food, they'll just be sterilized when they take the vaccine, or they will, because Prions.
Like I'm crazy so don't take too much of what is posted here that seriously, but do if your life depends on it.
Utopia experiments manuscript was the plot for 2025. I'm shaking in my socks.
submitted by reracked377 to utopiatv [link] [comments]
https://zenodo.org/records/6210570
https://ibb.co/0V8yCGB
https://ibb.co/JvncMQ4
https://ibb.co/pLc96p2
https://ibb.co/NVq0CFk
https://ibb.co/sFy0xDY
She looks like Jennifer Doudna, literally:
https://ibb.co/gD5rPy9
What if the lipo-nanoparticles and the ACE2 gene-silencing CRISPR RNA-gene-drive 'inoculation' program are part of Club of Rome's Odum's "reduce America's population by 2/3rds hopefully voluntarily by 2030?" What if this was and will become Utopia? What if Deagel's 2025 population statistics that accounts for this 2/3rds population reduction, which was sponsored by Kissinger, the Rockefeller foundation and Edwin Deagle Jr., knows more about this?
https://ibb.co/Pr9YffM
"The analysis of the SARS-CoV-2 structure in light of the functioning of the CRISPR-Cas9, Cas12a and CasX mechanism suggests that the virus is man-made through genetic modification. [...] Covid is not acting like other viruses and many various symptoms in human body have been observed. [...] The modifications in the backbone’s phosphate group induced by CRISPR engineering create a highly imbalanced state. The entropy and therefore the repulsion forces strongly dominate in this type of virus."What if they gave you AIDS and sterilized you? What if the optimal CRISPR-Cas9 lock-on markers out of any nGG, ie markers for future gene editing, was part of the plan? And hopefully none of this is sexually transmissible. Sticking a peen in an Extinction Level Event... is it worth the risk? We should ask Ian this. He did look grayer after screwing Jessica.
https://ibb.co/bvcf1F7
https://ibb.co/b2JcCS1
https://ibb.co/3TK03M0
https://ibb.co/HPs7nX8
https://ibb.co/Rvb0ZDB
Utopia (UK):
- "SARS doesn't exist."
- "The planet can support only 1 billion."
- "We leave 5 to 8% unaffected."
- "Janus consists of protein and an amino-acid." (CRISPR)
I chose my own people."
Spikeopathy’: COVID-19 Spike Protein Is Pathogenic, from BOTH Virus and Vaccine mRNA
https://mdpi.com/2227-9059/11/8/2287The modification of mRNA with N1-methylpseudouridine for increased stability leads to the production of spike proteins for months.'
Uncanny similarity of unique inserts in the 2019-nCoV spike protein to HIV-1 gp120 - withdrawn (January 2020)
https://biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.01.30.927871v1Amino acid residues in all the 4 inserts have identity or similarity to those in the HIV-1 gp120 or HIV-1 Gag."What's the common denominator? European DNA. The injection is ethnically adjusted to deplete ACE2-expression of European DNA but not those carry k26r polymorphism, ie. Ashkenazi J's and the Amish.
https://ibb.co/2KNmdCH
Where is ACE2 located? Also in mitochondria, the cell's battery. Why cancer? CRISPR, mitochondria and p53 disruption, oxidative stress. Once modRNA gets into cells, they're released to hijack cell's machinery to produce full-spike proteins, endlessly. Spike proteins downregulate ACE2-protein expression of mitochondrias and silence p53 the guardian of genome. And the CRISPR Cas9/Cas12a awaits for gRNA to act.
An idea of giving cells the instructions to synthesize pathogenic spike-protein to develop immunity is imbecilic in the first place. But urging people to get one without a prescription promising getting back to normal (that's been destroyed for this purpose) - a crime.
But Rockefeller's (Rockefellos) Cub of Rome would never think of doing anything like this. The network in Utopia is fictional, right? Read Kissinger report, read the Jaffe memo!
Rockefeller's Population Council:
"fertility control agent' designed to lower fertility in the society by 5 to 75% less than a present birth rate; to be included in water supply in urban areas." (1969).https://ibb.co/7gJBNwq
https://ibb.co/Wk9CWhz
https://ibb.co/kQkHmkk
https://ibb.co/Q8dw9QN
https://ibb.co/drTNH1n
https://ibb.co/N2p6vms
You see, just like women refused to smoke in public until they saw it as a form of liberation. Covid is our liberation. If things go to plan. We won't know for many years.
The public would never support the most powerful men working to reduce the numbers of the "lower class" until we saw OURSELVES as a deadly virus to the planet. That's been the goal from the get-go.
In the population control document that Rockefellers sponsored it suggests multiple methods of involuntary sterilization such as adding “fertility control agents” to water supplies, temporary sterilization of all young women “via time-capsule contraceptives,” and compulsory sterilization of men with three or more children.
Those are just ideas they floated, it's not like they ever funded or implemented them. It's not like they made an anti-fertility vaccine! They did.
Its not like they ever went thru with an actual involuntary roll out of this tho, we woulda heard about it!You might have seen this 2014 story "debunked." In 2014, Kenyan doctors found traces of HCG in Tetanus vaccines being distributed by WHO/funded by Gates. Why is this important?
HCG is the same pregnancy hormone that is used in conjunction with Tetanus in that SAME ROCKEFELLER FOUNDATION FUNDED INDIAN INFERTILITY VACCINE. Doctors in the Philippines and Mexico also claimed to have found HCG in their WHO distributed Tetanus vaccines in the 90s (they did). The WHO didn't fund the development of that Indian vaccine (BECAUSE THE ROCKEFELLER FOUNDATION DID)!
https://ibb.co/cyXwns8
https://ibb.co/y5QVdc6
https://ibb.co/bXNNmhS
https://ibb.co/bKfNqrf
It is important to note that this Anti-fertility vaccine has been in development since 1988 thru 2014 to this day.
It does appear as if the Rockefellers have implemented their "involuntary fertility control" and have used Tetanus vaccines as cover to test this pet project of theirs, but that's speculation.
The goal of the network also reminds me of "Children of Men," originally published in 1992 and set in England in 2021.
https://ibb.co/V3fyDKH
"Armageddon Begins - Russian Detonates Nuclear Bomb, Kazakhstan Annihilated." The newspaper reads in opening of the film.Did you know that "Children of Men" was written by Phyllis Dorothy James, referencing Pat Frank's "Mr. Adam" and "Alas, Babylon" written back in 1950s?
Children of Men' (2006) Plot - In the year 2027, after 18 years of total human infertility, war and global depression have pushed society to the point of collapse as humanity faces extinction.
Given the quality of sperm declining due to fluoride, chemical exposure and such, and mRNA-medicine affecting fertility of men and women, that's the exact match.
Joel E Cohen, the Rockefeller University Professor on Population heavily acknowledged the significant drop in fertility rate of white populations in US and EU, explaining driven immigration to sustain the level and boost 'economic prosperity.' As the saying goes, Just as the Egyptians made G‑d’s firstborn (the Israelities) suffer, G‑d punished - measure for measure - the Egyptians’ firstborn. All the firstborn would lose the life-energy that until then kept them alive." This is the 188th Mitzvah and accompanies the gene drive which is Janus to a T. Bye, bye!
https://ibb.co/y41N4NK
https://ibb.co/vBdPw1x
https://ibb.co/rdtvXDH
Angiotensin-converting enzymes (ACE) play a dominant role in fertility (2013):
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24152441/To solve population bomb, just sterilize the entire world with:
- release bioengineered disease binding and exploiting ACE2
- silence gene expression through CRISPR-Cas9 mRNA
https://ibb.co/mFdwT9S
https://ibb.co/7bzKWZj
https://ibb.co/Y2Bmtp4
https://ibb.co/rbT0hbf
https://ibb.co/Cs33JWK
https://ibb.co/9wS8cfz
https://ibb.co/WpQcVZH
https://ibb.co/XZWnnqF
https://ibb.co/ZcHB5D6
https://ibb.co/tMS5nMq
https://ibb.co/FKggvdg
Presented for your viewing:
https://ibb.co/wrz03dk
https://ibb.co/JWZt7bL
https://ibb.co/qnSyYVp
CRISPCas9 gene drives in genetically variable and nonrandomly mating wild populations (2017)
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28560324/A drive targeting Ace2 might therefore conceivably be used for direct population suppression.”DARPA invests $100m in gene-drive technology - new gene-editing technology, which many people fear could lead to deliberate and unintended damage on a huge scale (2017):
https://eandt.theiet.org/content/articles/2017/12/darpa-invests-100-million-in-gene-drive-technology/…
Harvard, Wyss Institute - CRISPR-Cas9: Gene-drive:
https://wyss.harvard.edu/media-post/crispr-cas9-gene-drives/
Little is known about the role of p53 in the regulation of ACE2. An earlier study reported that p53 suppresses the replication of coronavirus through ACE2 degradation in humans.”https://researchgate.net/publication/350180861_A_tissue-_and_gender-specific_regulation_of_the_SARS-CoV-2_receptor_ACE2_by_p53_in_pigs
https://ibb.co/wzxtjHh
https://ibb.co/8mJ455t
And to conclude, Epstein associate George Church, who said arranged marriages using gene sequencing as Haredim have been doing is ideal; Epstein associate Martin Nowak - Evolutionary dynamics of CRISPR-Cas9 gene drives (2016)...
https://biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/057281v1.full
...with Matthew Liao, want to design humans using gene editing.
https://ibb.co/QdqsfyJ
https://ibb.co/zQv8rDs
https://ibb.co/PQtDgvh
https://ibb.co/jDQkB7x
https://ibb.co/TR023k6
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bioe.12519
The Rockefeller Foundation - Bionics, Transhumanism, and the End of Evolution (2019):
https://foresightfordevelopment.org/video-library/bionics-transhumanism-and-the-end-of-evolutionHere's the end; how fun it will be, how fun, indeed:
https://ibb.co/8rbdNzY
In Grant's drawings it says they put the ghost cell in the buffalo and the man eats the buffalo and rots. People won't physically rot from consuming the food, they'll just be sterilized when they take the vaccine, or they will, because Prions.
Like I'm crazy so don't take too much of what is posted here that seriously, but do if your life depends on it.
Utopia experiments manuscript was the plot for 2025. I'm shaking in my socks.
2024.05.15 12:05 anonymous21_20 I messed up the best relationship I’ve had.
Can’t see a way out of this.
Hey, first time posting on Reddit, I’m just lost and I really can’t see a way out for myself. I’m F24, I’d say I’ve had alot of misfortune in my life but I don’t like complaining too much because I know someone else has it worse somewhere.
Grew up in a toxic household, only child, mentally abusive parents. A father who is extremely cold hearted and doesn’t believe in mental health, and my mother who is extremely unstable herself, have meltdowns infront of me and would constantly criticise and focus on my looks which in turn made me extremely self conscious my whole life. They would give me physical things but emotionally wise I was alone for most of my life with little to no support system. My aunt was evil to me as a kid and I think I endured abuse because she’d purposefully isolate me from my cousins and make me feel like I wasn’t accepted.
The only person I had who gave me love was my grandma. She meant the world to me. She was my angel , but she died from cancer when I was 18 which was extremely traumatic as I saw her deteriorate infront of my eyes and was there when she was dying. It haunts me forever. I’ve never gotten over it and it’s left a massive hole in me that I’ve been trying to fill. She was the only person who was really truly in my corner. She was my soul mate.
Growing up I was always bullied, seem to be the black sheep that never fit in anywhere. High school was terrible for me. I was a complete loner and no one wanted to be my friend because I was so shy. I’d sit alone by myself and always wonder what’s wrong with me.
My only comfort at that time was my LDR from 15-21 with someone who lived in another country , we met online through gaming as this was my only way to make friends. I guess it was my escape. That relationship lasted 5 years but because I didn’t see him often I felt more and more alone.
After I went through a dark period of looking for validation from men online, as I created social media and started to put myself out there. I think the attention fed my insecurity about myself growing up as I had low self esteem and never saw myself as pretty but this attention ruined me in the end because it was mostly sexual and made me feel used. I gained popularity but it was the wrong kind. I was sending naked pictures to fill a void because these compliments made me feel worthy for once. It was a horrible dark time. I created a bad reputation for myself at one point because of it. Attracted some bad people , had someone planning to gang rape me but fortunately found out before it took place. That’s caused me to have paranoia.
Since I’ve lost a lot of people. They come and they go. I can’t seem to keep relationships. I think I look to dating as an escape or maybe I’ll find someone who will love me and fix me. I have no friends, I had a best friend who treated me like shit for years but I’d accept it so I wouldn’t be alone. We had a group of her and 2 other girls and they’d bully me as a joke and tell me ‘you’re pretty so it’s ok if we bully you’. Now I’m older I’m more aware so we’ve all drifted apart and they’ve slowly pushed me out the group. I have no one now.
I had one good relationship that I recently lost and it’s destroyed every part of me. I ruined it. I couldn’t seem to give him the same dedication he gave me and felt unsure about him and our future thus pushing him away with my actions. Now I’m thinking I was being avoidant because of all my trauma. I did some pretty shitty things to betray his trust and now he will never speak to me again and has me blocked on everything. He was the only man so far in my life who genuinely loved me for me , no matter how messy I looked or imperfect I am and I destroyed the relationship beyond repair. I self sabotaged and now I’m completely alone again. The guilt is eating me alive everyday and all I want is to talk to him and apologise but he won’t speak to me.
I have terrible social anxiety, ocd , depression and bpd. I find it hard to make friends. I work from home so I’m not in environments where I can meet new people, I have to wfm because I have an auto immune issue where I get tired easily. So I’m just in this constant cycle of being alone.
I only have my dog left which is what’s keeping me alive but I’m extremely suicidal. If anyone can offer any advice or if you’ve been in a similar situation please offer me some advice because I genuinely don’t know what to do. I think about ending my life often but I’m too scared to do it so I’m living in this hell Thanks for listening
submitted by anonymous21_20 to heartbreak [link] [comments]
Hey, first time posting on Reddit, I’m just lost and I really can’t see a way out for myself. I’m F24, I’d say I’ve had alot of misfortune in my life but I don’t like complaining too much because I know someone else has it worse somewhere.
Grew up in a toxic household, only child, mentally abusive parents. A father who is extremely cold hearted and doesn’t believe in mental health, and my mother who is extremely unstable herself, have meltdowns infront of me and would constantly criticise and focus on my looks which in turn made me extremely self conscious my whole life. They would give me physical things but emotionally wise I was alone for most of my life with little to no support system. My aunt was evil to me as a kid and I think I endured abuse because she’d purposefully isolate me from my cousins and make me feel like I wasn’t accepted.
The only person I had who gave me love was my grandma. She meant the world to me. She was my angel , but she died from cancer when I was 18 which was extremely traumatic as I saw her deteriorate infront of my eyes and was there when she was dying. It haunts me forever. I’ve never gotten over it and it’s left a massive hole in me that I’ve been trying to fill. She was the only person who was really truly in my corner. She was my soul mate.
Growing up I was always bullied, seem to be the black sheep that never fit in anywhere. High school was terrible for me. I was a complete loner and no one wanted to be my friend because I was so shy. I’d sit alone by myself and always wonder what’s wrong with me.
My only comfort at that time was my LDR from 15-21 with someone who lived in another country , we met online through gaming as this was my only way to make friends. I guess it was my escape. That relationship lasted 5 years but because I didn’t see him often I felt more and more alone.
After I went through a dark period of looking for validation from men online, as I created social media and started to put myself out there. I think the attention fed my insecurity about myself growing up as I had low self esteem and never saw myself as pretty but this attention ruined me in the end because it was mostly sexual and made me feel used. I gained popularity but it was the wrong kind. I was sending naked pictures to fill a void because these compliments made me feel worthy for once. It was a horrible dark time. I created a bad reputation for myself at one point because of it. Attracted some bad people , had someone planning to gang rape me but fortunately found out before it took place. That’s caused me to have paranoia.
Since I’ve lost a lot of people. They come and they go. I can’t seem to keep relationships. I think I look to dating as an escape or maybe I’ll find someone who will love me and fix me. I have no friends, I had a best friend who treated me like shit for years but I’d accept it so I wouldn’t be alone. We had a group of her and 2 other girls and they’d bully me as a joke and tell me ‘you’re pretty so it’s ok if we bully you’. Now I’m older I’m more aware so we’ve all drifted apart and they’ve slowly pushed me out the group. I have no one now.
I had one good relationship that I recently lost and it’s destroyed every part of me. I ruined it. I couldn’t seem to give him the same dedication he gave me and felt unsure about him and our future thus pushing him away with my actions. Now I’m thinking I was being avoidant because of all my trauma. I did some pretty shitty things to betray his trust and now he will never speak to me again and has me blocked on everything. He was the only man so far in my life who genuinely loved me for me , no matter how messy I looked or imperfect I am and I destroyed the relationship beyond repair. I self sabotaged and now I’m completely alone again. The guilt is eating me alive everyday and all I want is to talk to him and apologise but he won’t speak to me.
I have terrible social anxiety, ocd , depression and bpd. I find it hard to make friends. I work from home so I’m not in environments where I can meet new people, I have to wfm because I have an auto immune issue where I get tired easily. So I’m just in this constant cycle of being alone.
I only have my dog left which is what’s keeping me alive but I’m extremely suicidal. If anyone can offer any advice or if you’ve been in a similar situation please offer me some advice because I genuinely don’t know what to do. I think about ending my life often but I’m too scared to do it so I’m living in this hell Thanks for listening
2024.05.15 11:57 anonymous21_20 Can’t see a way out of this.
Hey, first time posting on Reddit, I’m just lost and I really can’t see a way out for myself. I’m F24, I’d say I’ve had alot of misfortune in my life but I don’t like complaining too much because I know someone else has it worse somewhere.
Grew up in a toxic household, only child, mentally abusive parents. A father who is extremely cold hearted and doesn’t believe in mental health, and my mother who is extremely unstable herself, have meltdowns infront of me and would constantly criticise and focus on my looks which in turn made me extremely self conscious my whole life. They would give me physical things but emotionally wise I was alone for most of my life with little to no support system. My aunt was evil to me as a kid and I think I endured abuse because she’d purposefully isolate me from my cousins and make me feel like I wasn’t accepted.
The only person I had who gave me love was my grandma. She meant the world to me. She was my angel , but she died from cancer when I was 18 which was extremely traumatic as I saw her deteriorate infront of my eyes and was there when she was dying. It haunts me forever. I’ve never gotten over it and it’s left a massive hole in me that I’ve been trying to fill. She was the only person who was really truly in my corner. She was my soul mate.
Growing up I was always bullied, seem to be the black sheep that never fit in anywhere. High school was terrible for me. I was a complete loner and no one wanted to be my friend because I was so shy. I’d sit alone by myself and always wonder what’s wrong with me.
My only comfort at that time was my LDR from 15-21 with someone who lived in another country , we met online through gaming as this was my only way to make friends. I guess it was my escape. That relationship lasted 5 years but because I didn’t see him often I felt more and more alone.
After I went through a dark period of looking for validation from men online, as I created social media and started to put myself out there. I think the attention fed my insecurity about myself growing up as I had low self esteem and never saw myself as pretty but this attention ruined me in the end because it was mostly sexual and made me feel used. I gained popularity but it was the wrong kind. I was sending naked pictures to fill a void because these compliments made me feel worthy for once. It was a horrible dark time. I created a bad reputation for myself at one point because of it. Attracted some bad people , had someone planning to gang rape me but fortunately found out before it took place. That’s caused me to have paranoia.
Since I’ve lost a lot of people. They come and they go. I can’t seem to keep relationships. I think I look to dating as an escape or maybe I’ll find someone who will love me and fix me. I have no friends, I had a best friend who treated me like shit for years but I’d accept it so I wouldn’t be alone. We had a group of her and 2 other girls and they’d bully me as a joke and tell me ‘you’re pretty so it’s ok if we bully you’. Now I’m older I’m more aware so we’ve all drifted apart and they’ve slowly pushed me out the group. I have no one now.
I had one good relationship that I recently lost and it’s destroyed every part of me. I ruined it. I couldn’t seem to give him the same dedication he gave me and felt unsure about him and our future thus pushing him away with my actions. Now I’m thinking I was being avoidant because of all my trauma. I did some pretty shitty things to betray his trust and now he will never speak to me again and has me blocked on everything. He was the only man so far in my life who genuinely loved me for me , no matter how messy I looked or imperfect I am and I destroyed the relationship beyond repair. I self sabotaged and now I’m completely alone again. The guilt is eating me alive everyday and all I want is to talk to him and apologise but he won’t speak to me.
I have terrible social anxiety, ocd , depression and bpd. I find it hard to make friends. I work from home so I’m not in environments where I can meet new people, I have to wfm because I have an auto immune issue where I get tired easily. So I’m just in this constant cycle of being alone.
I only have my dog left which is what’s keeping me alive but I’m extremely suicidal. If anyone can offer any advice or if you’ve been in a similar situation please offer me some advice because I genuinely don’t know what to do. I think about ending my life often but I’m too scared to do it so I’m living in this hell Thanks for listening
submitted by anonymous21_20 to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]
Grew up in a toxic household, only child, mentally abusive parents. A father who is extremely cold hearted and doesn’t believe in mental health, and my mother who is extremely unstable herself, have meltdowns infront of me and would constantly criticise and focus on my looks which in turn made me extremely self conscious my whole life. They would give me physical things but emotionally wise I was alone for most of my life with little to no support system. My aunt was evil to me as a kid and I think I endured abuse because she’d purposefully isolate me from my cousins and make me feel like I wasn’t accepted.
The only person I had who gave me love was my grandma. She meant the world to me. She was my angel , but she died from cancer when I was 18 which was extremely traumatic as I saw her deteriorate infront of my eyes and was there when she was dying. It haunts me forever. I’ve never gotten over it and it’s left a massive hole in me that I’ve been trying to fill. She was the only person who was really truly in my corner. She was my soul mate.
Growing up I was always bullied, seem to be the black sheep that never fit in anywhere. High school was terrible for me. I was a complete loner and no one wanted to be my friend because I was so shy. I’d sit alone by myself and always wonder what’s wrong with me.
My only comfort at that time was my LDR from 15-21 with someone who lived in another country , we met online through gaming as this was my only way to make friends. I guess it was my escape. That relationship lasted 5 years but because I didn’t see him often I felt more and more alone.
After I went through a dark period of looking for validation from men online, as I created social media and started to put myself out there. I think the attention fed my insecurity about myself growing up as I had low self esteem and never saw myself as pretty but this attention ruined me in the end because it was mostly sexual and made me feel used. I gained popularity but it was the wrong kind. I was sending naked pictures to fill a void because these compliments made me feel worthy for once. It was a horrible dark time. I created a bad reputation for myself at one point because of it. Attracted some bad people , had someone planning to gang rape me but fortunately found out before it took place. That’s caused me to have paranoia.
Since I’ve lost a lot of people. They come and they go. I can’t seem to keep relationships. I think I look to dating as an escape or maybe I’ll find someone who will love me and fix me. I have no friends, I had a best friend who treated me like shit for years but I’d accept it so I wouldn’t be alone. We had a group of her and 2 other girls and they’d bully me as a joke and tell me ‘you’re pretty so it’s ok if we bully you’. Now I’m older I’m more aware so we’ve all drifted apart and they’ve slowly pushed me out the group. I have no one now.
I had one good relationship that I recently lost and it’s destroyed every part of me. I ruined it. I couldn’t seem to give him the same dedication he gave me and felt unsure about him and our future thus pushing him away with my actions. Now I’m thinking I was being avoidant because of all my trauma. I did some pretty shitty things to betray his trust and now he will never speak to me again and has me blocked on everything. He was the only man so far in my life who genuinely loved me for me , no matter how messy I looked or imperfect I am and I destroyed the relationship beyond repair. I self sabotaged and now I’m completely alone again. The guilt is eating me alive everyday and all I want is to talk to him and apologise but he won’t speak to me.
I have terrible social anxiety, ocd , depression and bpd. I find it hard to make friends. I work from home so I’m not in environments where I can meet new people, I have to wfm because I have an auto immune issue where I get tired easily. So I’m just in this constant cycle of being alone.
I only have my dog left which is what’s keeping me alive but I’m extremely suicidal. If anyone can offer any advice or if you’ve been in a similar situation please offer me some advice because I genuinely don’t know what to do. I think about ending my life often but I’m too scared to do it so I’m living in this hell Thanks for listening
2024.05.15 11:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 10:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 10:10 Whole_Ad7496 I know this sound's weird but hear me out
Mate, let me tell ya, Judaism doesn't buy into any of that prophecy fulfillment stuff that Christianity says Jesus did. But, I gotta admit, there's somethin' about him that pulls me in. I watched this video of his crucifixion, and mate, it hit me right in the feels. I felt this deep sorrow for the bloke. But then, in a split second, it hit me like a ton of bricks, mate. I realised why I felt that way and the whole context of it just smacked me in the face. It's tough for me not to have any sympathy for him after all he's sacrificed.
But getting to the point in the Hebrew bible there was a prophet named "Joshua" which is my name. and oddly enough Joshua is one of the many names related to Jesus. So that's my case here
submitted by Whole_Ad7496 to Christianity [link] [comments]
But getting to the point in the Hebrew bible there was a prophet named "Joshua" which is my name. and oddly enough Joshua is one of the many names related to Jesus. So that's my case here
2024.05.15 09:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 08:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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