What I'm going to describe now is something a lot of you maybe won't understand or think it's silly, but it's something real for me, and the reason I'll forever remember chants of sennaar as a game.
Since childhood I've always been fascinated with videogames, but I live in a third world country that unfortunately taxes everything through the roof.
So it is really hard to be able to enter this world for real here, just like thousands I've grown up watching others play on the internet cause it was the closest thing that little me had to be able to enjoy the games he loved so much.
Fast forward to nowadays, I got my Xbox one 2 months ago and took one month for me to begin signing gamepass, and in gamepass I found chants of sennaar never having heard of it and after reading the description it gained my interest and I downloaded it.
Today at exactly 01:37 AM I managed to finish the game's true ending, the first time that I finish a game myself, not watching others play it and a game I found myself too.
I know it might sound ridiculous that me currently at 19 y old is crying because of a videogame that doesn't even have a sad ending.
But idk what to say honestly, how do explain this feeling? I don't even know why I decided to post this.
I just feel so happy...really happy.
Things have not been easy recently, looking for a job, looking into college options, having to support my small brother through the divorce of my parents, and all of that without most my friends since (I live in a pretty countryside town and my school was in another town).
But even tho things might not been easy, atleast today the nerd child inside my heart has the satisfaction to see that it can finally seek solace in the hobbie it loved so much.
Anyways, that's my motive why I think this game will probably stick to my memory like bubblegum.
If you're getting in the game now or anytime soon relish every single moment, you have a wonderful journey ahead.
And if you find myself in the same situation I grew up in, Bright up! One day you'll reach that which you desire so much.
Be safe out there.

What I'm going to describe now is something a lot of you maybe won't understand or think it's silly, but it's something real for me, and the reason I'll forever remember this game.
Since childhood I've always been fascinated with videogames, but I live in a third world country that unfortunately taxes everything through the roof.
So it is really hard to be able to enter this world for real here, just like thousands I've grown up watching others play on the internet cause it was the closest thing that little me had to be able to enjoy the games he loved so much.
Fast forward to nowadays, I got my Xbox one 2 months ago and took one month for me to begin signing gamepass, and in gamepass I found chants of sennaar never having heard of it and after reading the description it gained my interest and I downloaded it.
Today at exactly 01:37 AM I managed to finish the game's true ending, the first time that I finish a game myself, not watching others play it and a game I found myself too.
I know it might sound ridiculous that me currently at 19 y old is crying because of a videogame that doesn't even have a sad ending.
But idk what to say honestly, how do explain this feeling? I don't even know why I decided to post this.
I just feel so happy...really happy.
Things have not been easy recently, looking for a job, looking into college options, having to support my small brother through the divorce of my parents, and all of that without most my friends since (I live in a pretty countryside town and my school was in another town).
But even tho things might not been easy, atleast today the nerd child inside my heart has the satisfaction to see that it can finally seek solace in the hobbie it loved so much.
Anyways, that's my motive why I think this game will probably stick to my memory like bubblegum.
If you're getting in the game now or anytime soon relish every single moment, you have a wonderful journey ahead.
And if you find myself in the same situation I grew up in, Bright up! One day you'll reach that which you desire so much.
Be safe out there.

Six minute read *** I was also unable to post this to relationship advice***
So I go to college in CO but am from MN which is where my boyfriend and I met in senior year of highschool. Everything was great, I even moved to CO so that I could go to school near him because he was moving there. Once college started insecurities started to show, after being SA'd by a guy at college he demanded that if I am hanging out with people I have to tell him the names of everyone one there. He also to this day says that I technically cheated on him when I was SA'd because I didn't tell him the name of the guy right away. I've been r*ped for three months in a past relationship so it was an honest trauma reaction when I didn't tell him the name and I told him that. The controlling got worse and worse to the point tha I would be anxious to the point of being nauseous if I hung out with even friends that he knew. If I was asked to go to the club I would have to ask permission which would 100% of the time lead him saying no. I should add that after the SA incident we broke up for three months, I expected to never talk to him again and was really happy being single and free but he wiggled his way back into my life leading to us getting back together. This last winter break I was so done with it, I gathered the courage to have a serious talk about his controlling behavior specifically about him saying I can't go to the club, not because I wanted to go party but because of the fact that he thought he could tell me yes or no. In my mind I was ready to end things based on how he reacted to the talk, but he reacted well and so we stayed together and now I am allowed to go to clubs etc. I also must add that when we are in person hanging out everything is fine, we don't fight, we just chill and have fun. We just don't know how to communicate until things start to boil over because it makes both of us very uncomfortable to talk about issues in our relationship in person (I know that is not good and have been working on it) I do feel that things aren't the same as they used to be, there is a feeling of walking on egg shells around him a good amount of the time, things have been better recently. If one little thing happens he will be crabby and just shut down the rest of the day, even losing a game. When my older sister F(23) came to visit a few weeks ago he said that he would take us to the aquarium, we were getting food at the dining hall at my school and so I went out to his car to invite him to sit with us until we are ready to leave. He was in one of his "moods" and was angry, he just said no and that he will wait for us in his car and then hit the gas and loudly sped away when I was three feet away from him car. Later that night we were all drinking and he admitted with a laugh and smile on his face that he acted like that because he was listening to logics new album or something and "just needed to grind" whatever the fuck that means. My sister was driving in his car alone with him for maybe 15 minutes max. and said that even she felt like she was walking on egg shells and that she understood me now because he would get upset at the smallest things. It honestly just embarrassed me that he couldn't try to be nice around my sister, that just shows me that he doesn't care.
So now to get to the actual story, sorry that I rambled, I am currently visiting my family in MN for two weeks, he is still in CO. A week ago I went to visit one of my only friends from highschool for a sleepover, we went down to eat dinner and when we came back upstairs I saw that I had a missed call from him, I then saw this exact text: "Hey J***a! I miss you a lot right now. I know you're having a fun time out in Minnesota with your friends and your family. I love and care about you very much, I know you know that. It's time to move on from each other. This hurts a lot and I'm shaking while typing this. But I need to fly solo for a while and figure some shit out on my end. " My honest reaction was "I think blank just broke up with me?" My friend was so nice and then asked me how I felt, I honestly didn't feel sad, I was mainly just confused because of how random it was, he was acting completely normal up until then. I tried calling him back but it went straight to voicemail sp I texted him this: "I wish we could've had this talk on the phone. I was eating dinner downstairs when you called. I tried calling but you aren't answering so.
I agree, I feel like we haven't been in love like we used to for a long time, and I think moving on is the best thing for both of us." He never replied the rest of the night. The rest of the night I didn't cry or feel sad, I called my girl friends that I'm living with in CO, after them asking me how I felt and stuff we just started making fun plans for our single girl summer. Every single one of my friends does not like my boyfriend including my sister. They have been telling me to break up with him for months but I am honestly too scared and uncomfortable to, plus things are good when we are hanging out in person so I figured to just not worry about it. The next day my ex snapchatted me asking if we could have a phone call later if that is okay with me, I said sure expecting him to just tell me why he wanted to break up. But instead he said that the night before he saw some old screenshots (from the old SA incident) that made him go into a downward spiral. I will say I said some awful stuff behind his back which was the screenshots he was looking at. He then convinced himself that I had cheated on him and that I didn't actually get assaulted and that all of the times that I studied with my guy friends or hungout with them that we were fucking. So he just sent that text and powered off his phone. I will also say that I have never cheated on him. The next day he woke up and regretted it, he admitted that he also felt nauseous and scared which is think means he was just scared to be alone because we've been together for so long and he doesn't have any IRL friends in CO, so he would've basically been alone. So anyways on the phone the day after breaking up with me he told me why he sent the text and then started talking about how he was sad because he wasn't thinking lastnight, that he was only thinking about the bad things but then started thinking about all of the good times we have had and that that was what made him so sad the next morning. He said he truly loved me and wanted to at least say that he tried to get me back. I was again just very confused and shocked at this information, I tend to feel really bad for people even when they don't deserve it and so when he said he would've regretted this for the rest of his life and that he really loved me I caved and agreed to see if we can work things out. That being said I made sure to let him know that what he did was really shitty and not normal, and that it of course hurt me the way he went about it all. I have been telling him that he needs to go back to therapy for a year and he kept saying no, so on the phone I told him that if I'm even going to consider getting back with him he is going to get therapy. I know that may be shitty and I don't like telling people what to do but that is honestly what I think he needs if we even have a chance at getting better as a couple. At this time we are also planning to see eachother when I get back to CO to have an in-person talk about a lot of stuff. I told him that we can "stay together" but that I need time to think and I don't want to be official until I see major amount of change from him. Which historically has never really happened or the changes he made he eventually let slip and went back to his old ways which were toxic.
So now I am here, not sure what to think. I have been trying to really think about what I want and how I feel without thinking about his feelings but it's been really hard. We agreed to reconvene and see if things are better at the end of the summer, allowing him time to work on himself. But I don't know if I want to do that. I feel like things won't change, only because they haven't in the past when he said that they would. I also don't know how to end things if I were to.
If you were me what would you honestly do? It's hard to end such a long relationship.

Six minute read
So I go to college in CO but am from MN which is where my boyfriend and I met in senior year of highschool. Everything was great, I even moved to CO so that I could go to school near him because he was moving there. Once college started insecurities started to show, after being SA'd by a guy at college he demanded that if I am hanging out with people I have to tell him the names of everyone one there. He also to this day says that I technically cheated on him when I was SA'd because I didn't tell him the name of the guy right away. I've been r*ped for three months in a past relationship so it was an honest trauma reaction when I didn't tell him the name and I told him that. The controlling got worse and worse to the point tha I would be anxious to the point of being nauseous if I hung out with even friends that he knew. If I was asked to go to the club I would have to ask permission which would 100% of the time lead him saying no. I should add that after the SA incident we broke up for three months, I expected to never talk to him again and was really happy being single and free but he wiggled his way back into my life leading to us getting back together. This last winter break I was so done with it, I gathered the courage to have a serious talk about his controlling behavior specifically about him saying I can't go to the club, not because I wanted to go party but because of the fact that he thought he could tell me yes or no. In my mind I was ready to end things based on how he reacted to the talk, but he reacted well and so we stayed together and now I am allowed to go to clubs etc. I also must add that when we are in person hanging out everything is fine, we don't fight, we just chill and have fun. We just don't know how to communicate until things start to boil over because it makes both of us very uncomfortable to talk about issues in our relationship in person (I know that is not good and have been working on it) I do feel that things aren't the same as they used to be, there is a feeling of walking on egg shells around him a good amount of the time, things have been better recently. If one little thing happens he will be crabby and just shut down the rest of the day, even losing a game. When my older sister F(23) came to visit a few weeks ago he said that he would take us to the aquarium, we were getting food at the dining hall at my school and so I went out to his car to invite him to sit with us until we are ready to leave. He was in one of his "moods" and was angry, he just said no and that he will wait for us in his car and then hit the gas and loudly sped away when I was three feet away from him car. Later that night we were all drinking and he admitted with a laugh and smile on his face that he acted like that because he was listening to logics new album or something and "just needed to grind" whatever the fuck that means. My sister was driving in his car alone with him for maybe 15 minutes max. and said that even she felt like she was walking on egg shells and that she understood me now because he would get upset at the smallest things. It honestly just embarrassed me that he couldn't try to be nice around my sister, that just shows me that he doesn't care.
So now to get to the actual story, sorry that I rambled, I am currently visiting my family in MN for two weeks, he is still in CO. A week ago I went to visit one of my only friends from highschool for a sleepover, we went down to eat dinner and when we came back upstairs I saw that I had a missed call from him, I then saw this exact text: "Hey J***a! I miss you a lot right now. I know you're having a fun time out in Minnesota with your friends and your family. I love and care about you very much, I know you know that. It's time to move on from each other. This hurts a lot and I'm shaking while typing this. But I need to fly solo for a while and figure some shit out on my end. " My honest reaction was "I think blank just broke up with me?" My friend was so nice and then asked me how I felt, I honestly didn't feel sad, I was mainly just confused because of how random it was, he was acting completely normal up until then. I tried calling him back but it went straight to voicemail sp I texted him this: "I wish we could've had this talk on the phone. I was eating dinner downstairs when you called. I tried calling but you aren't answering so.
I agree, I feel like we haven't been in love like we used to for a long time, and I think moving on is the best thing for both of us." He never replied the rest of the night. The rest of the night I didn't cry or feel sad, I called my girl friends that I'm living with in CO, after them asking me how I felt and stuff we just started making fun plans for our single girl summer. Every single one of my friends does not like my boyfriend including my sister. They have been telling me to break up with him for months but I am honestly too scared and uncomfortable to, plus things are good when we are hanging out in person so I figured to just not worry about it. The next day my ex snapchatted me asking if we could have a phone call later if that is okay with me, I said sure expecting him to just tell me why he wanted to break up. But instead he said that the night before he saw some old screenshots (from the old SA incident) that made him go into a downward spiral. I will say I said some awful stuff behind his back which was the screenshots he was looking at. He then convinced himself that I had cheated on him and that I didn't actually get assaulted and that all of the times that I studied with my guy friends or hungout with them that we were fucking. So he just sent that text and powered off his phone. I will also say that I have never cheated on him. The next day he woke up and regretted it, he admitted that he also felt nauseous and scared which is think means he was just scared to be alone because we've been together for so long and he doesn't have any IRL friends in CO, so he would've basically been alone. So anyways on the phone the day after breaking up with me he told me why he sent the text and then started talking about how he was sad because he wasn't thinking lastnight, that he was only thinking about the bad things but then started thinking about all of the good times we have had and that that was what made him so sad the next morning. He said he truly loved me and wanted to at least say that he tried to get me back. I was again just very confused and shocked at this information, I tend to feel really bad for people even when they don't deserve it and so when he said he would've regretted this for the rest of his life and that he really loved me I caved and agreed to see if we can work things out. That being said I made sure to let him know that what he did was really shitty and not normal, and that it of course hurt me the way he went about it all. I have been telling him that he needs to go back to therapy for a year and he kept saying no, so on the phone I told him that if I'm even going to consider getting back with him he is going to get therapy. I know that may be shitty and I don't like telling people what to do but that is honestly what I think he needs if we even have a chance at getting better as a couple. At this time we are also planning to see eachother when I get back to CO to have an in-person talk about a lot of stuff. I told him that we can "stay together" but that I need time to think and I don't want to be official until I see major amount of change from him. Which historically has never really happened or the changes he made he eventually let slip and went back to his old ways which were toxic.
So now I am here, not sure what to think. I have been trying to really think about what I want and how I feel without thinking about his feelings but it's been really hard. We agreed to reconvene and see if things are better at the end of the summer, allowing him time to work on himself. But I don't know if I want to do that. I feel like things won't change, only because they haven't in the past when he said that they would. I also don't know how to end things if I were to.
If you were me what would you honestly do? It's hard to end such a long relationship.

I don’t know where else to say this. No one believes me, no one that hasn’t seen it already. But I have to say something so here it is and the world can decide.
I was a good worker. I showed up for my shifts and did what my written job description said, never missed a day or a chance for a day off. My goal was to be average, to not be good enough to noticed and given more responsibilities, but also not be bad enough to be noticed and put on watch. It’s what I’ve done all my life. Fly under the radar, be easily missed during inspections and blend into the crowd. I got B’s in school, had no intention of going to college or university, not like I’d ever be able to afford it, just wanted a secure job to let me afford my underachieving lifestyle. Took me almost ten years to find something like that, drifitng from one job to another, leaving when too many people started to notice I was much better at the job than I let on.
And eventually I found the perfect fit for myself. I was an overnight security operator, don’t get excited it’s a fancy title for spending all night watching security monitors, for a commuter train. I can’t say which one or where for the safety of others and myself. The job was simple, watch the camera feeds of my designated train and write a report for anything unusual. On a rare occasion make a statement to the police, and I mean rare occasion. In my five years doing that job I spoke to the police maybe twice before the incident.
I think that’s enough background so onto the point. It was a regular Thursday night, shift started at 10pm, working with Larry, Bob, and Sue (not their real names for their safety and more importantly, mine) watching the cameras. Made some notes, forgotten umbrella (wasn’t raining), camera glitch, group of 4 drunk men, person in hoodie doing the drug addict lean (you know the one). The camera glitch was expected, an extension to the rail line was recently completed which included a very long tunnel through a hill side, which about the middle of it was so deep that the cameras would cut out for about 2-3 seconds. It was actually pretty amazing that we got any signal from the trains in the tunnel at all. The wonders of signal boosters. But something about that night caught my attention. I didn’t know what it was at first, just felt something was off. I ignored it that night because at 3 am, everything feels weird. At the end of the shift, about 930am I made my report for the night, handed the desk over to Bill (again, not their real name) and went home on the same train system I monitored.
But the feeling was still in my head. Something happened on the train that night that I wasn’t consciously aware of. I ignored it still, drank my favorite cheap whiskey and went to bed. The feeling stayed with me the next few days. That damned feeling that you know something isn’t right but you can’t figure out. It’s like when you accidently put your phone in a different pocket than normal. So finally on Monday night (you have no idea how busy security monitors get on weekends) when my trains were in the depot getting cleaned I brought up the Thursday night footage and scrolled through it. Same things I made note of were there but the feeling was still there. So I went through it again. And again. The fifth time through I finally found it.
On the third wagon, almost in the blindspot between the cameras, at 2:58am was a regular person just playing a game on their phone. The camera glitched for 2 seconds, and they were gone. I though maybe they just moved completely into the blindspot but no, they were gone. Didn’t get off the train, didn’t reappear. I checked the entire recording of the night. I had no idea what to do. I should have told someone, or made a report, or anything. Instead, I told myself that was really weird and kept doing my thing. Flying under the radar, trying to be mostly invisible.
Two weeks later on Monday night, I saw it again. The camera glitch, and someone disappearing. I scrolled back the footage to make sure. Again, I did nothing. This time telling myself it was just shadows on the lense or the plastic bubble around the camera was dirty. But you know what they say; once is odd, twice is a coincidence, thrice is a pattern. The third time I did something. I made a report. Yeah, real brave i know. Making a comment about “shadows on the lense after tunnel glitch” on my daily report. But that night I started looking into missing people cases. Larry asked what I was doing, I said reading the news while my train was getting cleaned. Better than Bob, who was usually watching youtube and/or playing games on his phone while his train was still making rounds.
Anyways, I found some leads. 3 missing people, last seen heading to the public commuter train before disappearing. But there were more, so many more. Dozens over the past several years, all last seen heading into the area above the new tunnel. Unsurprisingly, they had all been alone at the time.
I won’t go into detail about how this troubled me for nearly a year. Just know that eventually curiosity got its way. On a night off I got my jacket and went out to a train station. Late spring night, a bit colder than prefered, 2am train. The last circuit before this train would make for the depot for maintenance. And I was on it. It would take nearly an hour to reach the tunnel and I was scared but I had to know. Like all those times you watch or read some horror and the character starts reaching for the obviously dangerous thing, you mock them endlessly but I understood now. Fear of the unknown is strong and just seeing what is obviously evil will help you put it out of your mind. But I knew the rules. Be ready to run, have two exits planned, don’t look back.
I sat near the door because I didn’t want to stand the whole time. And when the train finally barreled into the tunnel I started to regret my choice. It was nearly a mile long and just enough room for the train and a very brave worker on each side. I watched my watch 2:59am and ticking closer to 3am. Tick, tick, tick. Who knew a twenty year old analog watch could be so ominous? But then my watch stopped. I looked out the windows and the train had stopped. Not rolled to a stop like trains need to do, just complete dead stop and I didn’t notice. But the lights on the walls were stretched out, the effect that you can only see when you’re moving past them really fast in the dark. My first thought, being a sci-fi fan was that time stopped, yet I moved.
Then I heard a scream and footsteps at the end of the train behind me. I thought about the rules of survival I made and then thought about time being stopped, would the doors open? WOuld I be safe jumping from the train? I’ve seen what happens when someone gets clipped by a train (one of the reasons I had to speak to police) and it’s messy. I heard another scream, desperate and afraid, then the sound of someone tumbling to the floor and something scratching over the floor. A phone bounced off my foot and spun to a stop in front of me. I looked down at it as the screams behind mean grew more horrified and pained. I dared a look at the window to see the reflection of what was happening. And the best I can say is smoke pouring over someone but it was completely shredding the person like a blender but not making a noise and vacuuming up the shreds. Some mental fortitude I didn’t know about kept me from puking and stock still. The screams eventually came to a wet gurgling end and in the reflection I saw a pair of lights flick on in the smoke. Looking back they were eyes but in the moment they were two neon blue lights looking at the window, then making eye contact with me in the reflection. I held my breath.
The smoke soundlessly glided up the aisle and I kept still, not moving at all, keeping my eyes exactly were they were focused before. It drifted closer and closer to me and by god I wanted to cry. It hovered there letting me catch a scent and I want to say it smelled like something burning, or like rot and death, or anything bad. But it was worse, so much worse. It smelled like cooked pork, lightly burnt. It hovered for what felt like hours beside me, I was desperate for air, my eyes were burning from not blinking and those neon lights were staring into my soul. Then the train wobbled as it passed a bend. I have no idea when the thing disappeared or when time resumed, felt like I blacked out for a moment but I know that's not what it was.
I sat there in my seat blinking and breathing deeply to recover. And then I looked down. The phone was still on the floor near my feet. I left it there but I kept staring at it, like when you notice broken glass on the ground and focus on it so you can avoid stepping in it. At the next station i got off the train and went to an always open fast food place. I got a coffee and started writing this. It would be two hours until a train back towards my apartment, one that takes the old long route around the tunnel.
I didn't sleep that day. How could I after watching someone get shredded and devoured? So I sat at my PC and wandered through my games library all day. Think I fell asleep a couple times for maybe an hour. Next night I went to work like normal, focused on my usual behavior. But after two hours I was called into my supervisor's office.
It was relatively normal, they check in with night shift people every few months to make sure we're doing okay. See if we want to change to day shift for mental health. Was all normal until he put his clipboard down and off to the side. He took a deep breath and looked at me, like really looked. That deep penetrating look when someone can see through your lies.
“You saw it.” He said. Three simple words that felt like he was telling me I had a fatal incurable illness. I just nodded. “You have two choices now. Like all of us that know. Either you leave and find a new job and never speak of the incident because you will be a suspect in the disappearance; or you keep doing your job as you always have but with a raise to ignore the camera glitches.” I sat for a while assuming I had to make a choice then and there.
That conversation has been burned into my brain. I still remember it verbatim. And I wish I could say I made the morally correct choice. But I'm an underachieving coward always looking to take the easy path. So I still watch the cameras through the night, but with some extra money to ignore the occasional camera glitch on the extension. I found out accidentally that Larry and Sue also knew about the incidents and made the same choice I did. And we all knew the same amount of nothing and we prefer it that way.
So that's why I'm putting this out there. Maybe someday someone better than me can figure this out.
I still can't eat pork.

This will be long. Like the title says, my (18F) BF (18M) broke up with me because he can't handle being in a relationship with me whilst working.
For more context, he and I went through a tough time together before but ever since a few months ago, we got over it and we've been healthily communicating now, etc. We were both on the same boat that we wanted our relationship to work out, so we worked on ourselves and understood each other more, and it's just been great in general. However, this past month, he's been a lot busier with his family, school works, personal hobbies, etc. that we don't really have time together anymore (in real life and online) unless it's late at night and we bond by playing a few games with our friends and then he goes to sleep. We don't live together btw. Anyway, I sleep late, so I just do my own thing after. So, I didn't really think anything of it but that he's just busy and just went with the flow.
However, this past week, he seemed a lot more distant and he would go to sleep a lot earlier. Again, I didn't really take it as anything but that he was busy and tired. Idk if this is relevant since he said it wasn't the case when I asked him about it, but I thought that his energy when talking to me vs his friends was drastically different. For example, when he's tired, he tells me he is and doesn't talk much and his voice is low, but when he gets on call with his friends, he suddenly becomes very talkative, loud, and energetic. However, I decided to brush it off thinking he's probably just really tired but since he's a very social type of person, he masks it as he likes to talk and light up the vibe in a group setting.
I would also like to note that at one point during that week, he opened up about his worries regarding the day where he finally starts working, which was going to be this week, and how it's going to affect our relationship. For context again, from the very beginning, we've already spoken about our plans for our future, especially career-wise. He expressed how passionate he was and how he wanted to focus on it when time comes and I said the same, so I never thought of it as a hindrance or anything bad because it's for his future and I prioritize my future the same too. Also, the job he'll do is the career he wants to pursue for his lifetime (in the car business), so it's really serious and he really wants to do well, which is understandable. That means that when he starts working, he'll be significantly busier and won't have as much time to spend with me. We also had a conversation whether we can handle being in a relationship while still being able to focus on our career goals, and we said yes. For more detail, I'm in my first year of college and I plan on pursuing law, so I obviously wouldn't have as much time as well, but I have many years to go before that while he starts working right away after high school. Going back, I told him that he doesn't have to worry because we've spoken about this before and I'm supportive of him and that I know he'll be busy but once it happens, we'll figure things out.
2 nights ago, after playing with our friends for a little bit and getting on a private call, he remained quiet and then he suddenly asked if it was okay that he asks for space. I didn't ask why, but I said that it was fine and I'll be here for him whenever. Based off what he said last time, I assumed that he was stressed because again, he was going to work and he was probably overthinking because he wanted to do well and because of his worries regarding our relationship as well. Usually, he tells me goodnight and that he loves me, but that night he didn't. I stayed up until 5 am just thinking. That's when I sort of thought of the possibility that he'll break up with me considering what he's opened up to me so far and knowing him, so I just thought of messaging him a GIF of a cat sending love at 5 am lol.
The day after that night/later that day (for me), I woke up and his response was him asking if we could talk at night once he arrives at his house. He was busy the whole day, so yeah. The night arrived and he told me he didn't know how to start and that he didn't like talking about it and told me we should probably have the conversation in real life, but I guess I already expected what would happen and if I wasn't right, I'd probably just end up overthinking, so I just told him to tell me what he wanted to say as he already asked for us to talk that night anyway.
He beat around the bush a lot, but it was basically him saying that once he starts working, he won't have time for me. He expressed his worry about how our relationship will work by then. He said he also thought about the whole "If he wanted to, he would" thing, but he said he knows that he'll probably be side tracked because of how busy he'll be. He said our relationship will not be the same anymore, such as gaming, sleep calling at night maybe, watching movies together, etc. He also said he considered about how my love language is quality time and we won't get to have that anymore. He also mentioned about how he doesn't know what to do and that he's uncertain of us, but that he still cares about me and loves me. He asked for my perspective on it after.
In summary, I told him that we've spoken about this before and I never thought of his work as a hindrance since I know it's for his future as well as his passion. I said I knew about it from the start (that he'll be busy) because that's one of the first things we discussed together, and I never complained whenever he helped his parents with work or was busy with his own endeavors for his future, so it wasn't a problem at all. I also didn't overthink or worry about him working, and it never came to mind until he brought it up. I thought we'd be fine. I mentioned how I've expressed even before that I'm supportive of him and look up to him in a way where he knows what he wants for his future and has plans to get there at a young age. In correlation to me not worrying about him working soon, I told him that I feel like he should ask the questions he's asking me to himself. I asked him whether he can handle being in a relationship while working. I asked him whether he can still be a good partner during that. I'm not talking about spending time 24/7 but just being caring and such.
He hesitated a lot and I told him that I can state my opinion regarding where our relationship goes from here, but it takes two for a relationship to work, so even if I wanted us to continue, he has to want it too. He ended up telling me that he couldn't. He broke up with me and explained that it's because he can't handle being in a relationship while working because he's already overwhelmed with the thought of working and the things he needed to do to be good at it the closer he is to the d-day (first work day). He wants to prioritize his family and his work, and that I deserve better that what he could offer. He told me that he didn't want to do this because he still loves me, but he's uncertain of us now and he didn't want to make me hope for something uncertain. He also mentioned growth and such. Towards the end, he told me he was sure. Sure of ending our relationship.
He wanted to end on good terms and although I agree, I don't know how I'll feel a week or a month from now. I just feel numb and it feels surreal right now. He told me that I can be upset and that he'd give me space. Later, he tried calling and then messaged me saying he'll give me space but he wanted us to communicate about how things go from here because he wanted us to be on good terms + we have mutual friends. Fast forward, in his last messages he said that we should to take a step back for now and think about whether this was the best decision. He asked me yesterday if we could talk tonight, but he messaged me tonight saying if we can talk tomorrow instead because he wants his thoughts to be clearer first and that he's all over the place right now.
I don't know how I feel. I feel upset, confused, hurt, and empty/numb at the same time. I thought we were fine, so the break up came out of nowhere for me aside from the gut feeling I had the night prior. Relationships are never supposed to be a hindrance in the first place, and he told me before that he can be in a relationship even with his goals but I guess life just happens. Views change. He didn't mention what he wanted to talk to me about particularly, so until now I don't know, but it does hurt whenever I remember him telling me how he was certain of us at first because he's the type to know what he wants, but now he isn't. It's upsetting to know that he's uncertain, that he needs to have clearer thoughts because I didn't think this would happen. Is he going to talk with me tomorrow about remaining on good terms and how we'll act with our friends? Or is he going to talk about getting back together? It's most likely the former, but if he does want to get back together, would that be alright? Or will I end up feeling bad thinking that he became unsure. Do I settle for that? I don't know what to think. I'm so lost. I don't have friends I feel like I can or want to open this up to, so I'm just pouring my thoughts here.

Need opinions as I am increasingly confused.
One of my (18F) best friends (18M) is a guy we can call Kevin. Kevin was seriously one of my closest friends, someone who could give me brutal truth and honesty, great advice, reciprocate my sense of humour and talk about any topic to.
Kevin and I first met in grade 8 where he was the new kid at my old school and I was one of his first friends. Kevin and I lived in the same area, which is a trek to my old school, and was one of the only kids my age I knew in that area, so we became fast friends and close. Kevin, at one point in year 9 (ages ago), had a crush on me, but I rejected him bc I knew our friendship was better than that, and nothing of that nature has come up since.
In late year 10, Kevin got a girlfriend, Alanna (now 18F). I’ve moved schools and Kevin is one of the only people I’m still in contact with, and now my only friend who lives in my area, so we continue our friendship meeting up every month or so for a run, coffee and gossip about our old school. Alanna never comes up in convo except when I ask how she is, and he says good, what she’s been up to, end of discussion.
Flash forward to present day, Kevin broke up with Alanna 2 weeks ago bc of undisclosed reasons (I never asked). Kevin is permanently leaving for the Air Force soon so he came up to Canberra so we could meet one last time, so we met up with a few other old guy friends and hung out. A few days later I post a photo dump on insta of activities and photos of my family and friends from the past month, on the very last slide is one of Kevin from that Canberra meet-up. Kevin messages me a few days after the post, saying that it was “extremely upsetting” for Alanna, and to take it down. He continues to say that he should’ve never hung out with me at all during his relationship, bc he did it seeking “validation” and “attention”, which is a wild fucking thing to say, and a bit of a punch to the gut tbh, bc im not a yes man, all I ever did was treat him like I treated all my female friends and I viewed our friendship as a genuine thing and not whatever he apparently sees it as. Anyways, he says “I’m not sure if I can talk to you for quite a while, you’ve been an incredible friend to me, and I hope that everything works out really well for you” which kinda makes it seem like im being cut off for being the toxic one?? And now im just confused, are we no longer friends? And should I be ok with that considering all our friendship was to him was a source of validation and attention? But I am genuinely curious, AITA for posting that photo?

Troubleshooting Help:

*What is your parts list? *
PCPartPicker Part List

Type	Item	Price
CPU	Intel Core i7-13700K 3.4 GHz 16-Core Processor	$329.98 @ Amazon
CPU Cooler	Corsair iCUE H100i RGB ELITE 59.1 CFM Liquid CPU Cooler	$139.00 @ Walmart
Thermal Compound	Noctua NT-H2 3.5 g Thermal Paste	$12.95 @ Amazon
Motherboard	MSI MEG Z690I UNIFY Mini ITX LGA1700 Motherboard	-
Memory	G.Skill Ripjaws S5 32 GB (2 x 16 GB) DDR5-6000 CL30 Memory	$104.99 @ Amazon
Storage	Samsung 980 Pro 2 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 4.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive	$159.99 @ Newegg
Storage	Samsung 980 Pro 2 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 4.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive	$159.99 @ Newegg
Video Card	NVIDIA Founders Edition GeForce RTX 4090 24 GB Video Card	$1.00
Power Supply	Corsair SF750 750 W 80+ Platinum Certified Fully Modular SFX Power Supply	$169.99 @ Newegg
Case Fan	Noctua A12x15 PWM 55.44 CFM 120 mm Fan	$21.95 @ Amazon
Case Fan	*Noctua A12x25 PWM 60.1 CFM 120 mm Fan	$32.95 @ Amazon
Custom	FormD t1 Case	$250.00
	Prices include shipping, taxes, rebates, and discounts
	Total	$1382.79
	*Lowest price parts chosen from parametric criteria
	Generated by PCPartPicker 2024-05-29 00:28 EDT-0400	**

Running Windows 11
Monitors

• ASUS 24" vertical secondary monitor - HDR Capable - connected via DisplayPort

- LG - UltraGear 34" IPS LED UltraWide HD FreeSync and G-SYNC <- problem monitor, also connected via DisplayPort

• this monitor is also connected via HDMI to a laptop that I switch to for other tasks.

Describe your problem. List any error messages and symptoms. Be descriptive.

1. When enabling any type of HDR - the main monitor will go into a boot loop where it will chime on, flash the screen, and turn back off. This causes the secondary monitor to do the same thing
   
2. What I have noticed that triggers it specifically
   

• Enabling HDR in the menu
  
• Starting a game that auto enables HDR - Battlefield 1 for example
  
• unplugging the monitor 2 DisplayPort and plugging it back in
  

List anything you've done in attempt to diagnose or fix the problem.

• Only way I have been able to fix this is to manually turn off my PC, unplug Monitor 1's DisplayPort, and then login with Monitor 2. Once the login and startup sequence is complete, I can reconnect Monitor 1 and it works
  
• Games w/o HDR play fine, it seems though that games like Battlefield 1 automatically trigger the process
  
• updated all drivers and systems, and the issue persists
  

Post relevant photos of build/parts here.
None at this time, other than this, the build itself has been fine
Provide any additional details you wish below.
The Monitor 1 is only a few years old, if replacing it is the only way I understand, would like to see what other options are available

My name is Jessica, and I live in a small central American city of about 80,000 people.Today I'm going to share a story about Korea.First, I'd like to tell you a little bit about my family.When I was born, I already had an older brother.I don't mean just a little sister with an older brother.My brother was adopted from Korea.It's an unusual situation, isn't it? My parents struggled with infertility for several years before I was born, and they ended up adopting my Korean brother.Then, a few years later, they got pregnant with me, and I was born.My brother had different hair color, skin color, and eye color than me, but we got along very well.Even though we knew from a young age that we were adopted because of our differences, we got along well, and we were a family that loved each other deeply.
We played the same games, read books together, and spent a lot of time together. He always took good care of me, and he was a good brother who made me laugh.
I would say, “Brother, let's read this book together!” and he would always smile and read it to me. I think I liked and enjoyed his warmth to me, rather than focusing on the content of the book.
When we left our cozy home environment, it was time to go to school, and during this time, my brother and I were asked a lot of embarrassing questions.One day, while my brother and I were playing together, a friend asked me, “Jessica, why does your brother look different from you?”The question gave me pause, but he smiled and replied, “Because we are a family, looks don't matter. His positive attitude had a good effect on me, and I'm sure he had a good effect on himself, too.Watching him grow up right, and our family became interested in Korea. If he was a troublemaker and always in trouble, he wouldn't have had the time to take the time to learn about his country of origin, Korea, but when he studied well, didn't fight with his friends, and was a good person who always loved and cared for his brother, we couldn't help but wonder about his roots.
I think my parents also had the will to share Korean culture with my brother and me, to learn what they could, to broaden our horizons and deepen our family's understanding.Many years ago, when I was in middle school, my family visited Korea for the first time, and the experience left a great impression on me.
We visited many tourist spots in Seoul and saw the harmonious combination of Korean tradition and modernity.And Korea, with its many dark-haired, dark-eyed people like my brother, was somehow not foreign to me.For Americans traveling to Asia for the first time, this could have been difficult because people look different and give off different vibes, but not for me. My parents, of course, were very excited to revisit Korea, the country of my brother's birth, and spoke so many blessings about the land of my brother's birth.Of course, there were many good things to see and many fun things to do in Korea, but the most memorable moment was when I suddenly developed a high fever.
It was a quiet night in Korea at the time, and I suddenly developed a high fever.This change was so sudden that my parents panicked.Eventually, with the help of the hotel we were staying at, they were able to get me to the emergency room in Korea, where I was quickly treated.Upon arrival, the medical staff quickly assessed my condition and ran the necessary tests.The whole process was organized, and thanks to the professionalism and quick response of the medical staff, I was able to get comfortable quickly. My situation was so serious that my head hurt like a rock and I could barely understand what was being said around me, but thanks to their quick response, my fever started to come down and I was able to return to my senses.The tests showed that I had a severe flu, which had been contracted in the United States and had incubated in Korea.I had to stop traveling in Korea and be admitted to the hospital for treatment, but thanks to the fast and efficient healthcare system in Korea, this was not a problem.
My parents breathed a sigh of relief and expressed their deep gratitude to the Korean healthcare system.“If it wasn't for Korea, I would have been in trouble,” my father said.Although my family had to stop our trip to Korea and spend the rest of my stay in a Korean hospital, looking back, it was also a unique experience abroad.
Many years later, as an adult, my relationship with my brother was still good. We enjoyed Korean dramas, movies, and music together, cooked Korean food together, and learned Korean together.
However, there was a clear difference between me and him: he seemed to be better at learning, even if he spent the same amount of time studying, and he went to a prestigious university, while I failed to get into college and became depressed.
He helped me with my studies every vacation, taught me how to study, and helped me to get into a prestigious university, but the results were not good. I was rejected by all the universities I applied to, and I was going through a very difficult time. After he graduated from college, he moved back home from the East Coast of the United States and helped me study for the college entrance exam, and with his help, I was able to get into college, albeit late.
Although I didn't get into a prestigious university like my brother, I still had a satisfying college experience and broadened my horizons.Naturally, I discovered that Korea has been on the global radar lately, which was very exciting.Korea may be the latest trend for Americans these days, but for me and my brother, it's like going back to our roots.I've always loved Korea, and it was very interesting and fond to reminisce about my trip to Korea when I was in middle school and look through my photo albums, even though half the time I was sick. So, my brother and I decided to visit Korea again, and this time, we had several goals for the trip: we wanted to make sure that we got it right this time, because we didn't get it right the first time, and my brother wanted to get to know his Korean roots better, even though he is now an adult, working as an American and living as an American, and I wanted to get to know my Korean roots better in relation to my major in college, and this time, I wanted to research more about the Korean healthcare system that I had experienced as a child.
Of course, I also wanted to have fun in Korea and enjoy the freedom to roam around the country unlike when I was a student, but I didn't take it too seriously.
Korea was so different from the U.S. It had the look of a big city in the U.S., but it had its own unique vibe. It was much more developed than the neighborhoods we live in in the U.S., and everywhere you looked was filled with people, and there were hundreds or thousands of stores selling a variety of things. If you were walking around and traveling, and you got thirsty and needed a break, there were cafes all around you that you could just pop into and take a break, and you didn't have to go far to find a restaurant that had one Korean food and sold it, because all the infrastructure was there.
Everything is around you, and everything you want or need is always right around the corner, which is why people call city life so convenient and love it.The public transportation system in Korea, which is light years better than the big cities in the U.S., helped us get around without any difficulty.It was also so much fun to get a T-money card, carry it around, and use it to get around Korea for a very low cost.
And when my brother and I would walk around, going to cafes, restaurants, and other places where there was something to do, many Koreans would tell us that we made a good looking couple.When I would tell them, in a pleasant and complimentary way, that we were actually brother and sister, they would look surprised and apologize.
But it's completely understandable, because even in the U.S., more people think of us as a couple or friends than they do as siblings, and there's not much of an adoption culture in Korea, and no one adopts and brings European or American children to Korea, so it's no wonder we get these funny misunderstandings.
To be honest, even in the U.S. nowadays, you can still encounter people who ask my brother and I questions about our relationship with unpleasant intentions to hurt us, assuming that we are not a couple or friends, but maybe even a man.A recent memory is of an American grandfather in his 70s who made a very rude remark to us, asking us what kind of father our father was to have two women give birth at the same time.
In the U.S., most people are friendly and kind to me, but the problem is that some people sometimes make fun of my brother because he looks Asian, but this was not the case in Korea at all.No one discriminated against me because of my different appearance.
And there's actually a story I wasn't going to tell in this article, but I'm writing it down because I had my brother's permission to do so.After arriving in Korea, we decided to search for my adopted brother's birth parents in order to trace his roots.My parents and I respected his decision to pursue this endeavor in Korea, and of course, we decided to support it. We visited the Korean adoption agency and requested my brother's adoption records.The representative provided us with all the information possible and was eager to help us, saying that efforts to find one's roots are ongoing every day.Together, we were able to find some important clues in the records.
My brother decided to visit his birthplace based on those clues, and of course, I joined him on the journey.We were always laughing since we came to Korea, but at this moment, there was more seriousness than laughter.We visited my brother's birthplace together and talked to the local people.
At the time, there was only a vague record of my brother's father and mother, but no proper records, so we only knew where he was born, and we had to go there and find someone who had lived there for a long time.But Korea is a very fast-developing country, and the sad thing is that the area where my brother was born and spent the first few months of his life was already torn down and replaced by a huge apartment complex. We felt that if we had come sooner, at least before these new apartments were built, things would have been at least better than they were, but there was no point in regretting what had passed.We visited the social welfare center and police station in the area, explained our situation, and asked for help.The Korean people were very kind, listening to my brother's story and letting us know what we could do.
We were told that when a new apartment building is built in Korea, new people who have no connection to the area move into the apartment, but that some of the people who live in these new apartments have been living here for a long time, most likely elderly people, and that the best thing to do is to find them and ask them about their past.We felt that this information would be very useful to us, as we were very confused and frustrated.
So my brother and I, along with a Korean lady who felt sorry for us and wanted to help, approached the elderly people who came in and out of the apartment and asked them questions.But despite all our efforts, we were unsuccessful in finding my brother's biological parents.We had many clues and information, but we were unable to find any conclusive evidence.My brother was disappointed, but we were comforted by the fact that we had done our best. Maybe if we could have spent a few weeks, maybe even a few months here to find and talk to an elderly person with memories of the past, we could have found a clue to the solution, but we couldn't stay in Korea, so in the end, we had to give up without proceeding any further.When I saw the look on my brother's face as he said that if he had the chance, he would visit Korea next time for this sole purpose, I felt a great sense of disappointment.“It's a shame that we couldn't find them, but thank you for trying,” he said to me.I couldn't say it anymore.
It would have been great if he could have completed his homework, but he didn't.Contrary to my initial expectations, the Korean adoption agency tried to be as helpful as possible, and I was very grateful to the government officials in the place of my brother's supposed birth, who were very sympathetic to his situation and actively tried to help him, and to the Korean lady who passed by.
Having been treated by the Korean healthcare system in the past, I took this level of care for granted and thought that it was something that everyone could enjoy, but then, when I was a high school student in the U.S., I was seriously ill and did not receive the same care as I did in Korea, so I remember suffering terribly and tried to understand why this difference occurred.
Before I came to Korea, I had already arranged to meet with someone, and although I didn't get to visit any specialized institutions, I was able to meet with Korean college students, and I learned a lot of information from them: medical students, pharmacy students, and I was able to get a lot of information from them.
The Korean healthcare system was different from the U.S. in many ways: it was fast, efficient, and provided a high level of care at a relatively low cost.The quick response and organized system for emergencies was especially impressive.The emergency rooms in Korea were very reasonably priced, allowing people to go to them for minor and mild symptoms.At this point, I thought that if there were a lot of people going to the emergency room for minor symptoms, it would be a problem if someone came in who needed emergency care, but the hospitals in Korea made it very easy to answer that question. I also learned that when a really urgent patient comes in, the emergency room prioritizes the emergency patients and treats them first, ignoring the minor ones. It's so simple and obvious: the doctors have the skills to determine the severity of the patient's condition, and they can prioritize the treatment accordingly.
Not only that, but it was very easy to get an appointment in Korea and the wait time was short. The Korean medical staff emphasized patient care and prompt treatment, and they utilized the latest medical technology and equipment to provide the best possible medical care.
In the U.S., medical care is often very expensive, complicated, and difficult to access quickly, and many people are unable to get proper treatment due to insurance issues.I also received prompt treatment in Korea when I was in middle school without insurance and had to pay a reasonable price, but the experience was a nightmare as I remember being very sick in middle school and high school, and I felt that the Korean system was far superior.I felt that the Korean healthcare system is not for profit, but is dedicated to protecting the health of the people.
Through my experiences in Korea, I learned about a much broader world than what my brother and I knew before.There are many factors that make Korea such a great country, but the culture and system that my brother and I experienced firsthand helped us understand why.And most of all, Korea is the country that made my brother.I have grateful feelings for Korea, which is also my brother's roots.
My brother and I could tell without speaking to each other that through this visit, we saw in each other a willingness to continue to love Korea more and more, and to strive to learn and understand Korean culture.
Korea is now a country that has special meaning to me as an adult, and I think it will be a great pleasure for me to honor my brother's roots and watch Korea develop and grow.I will continue to connect with Korea and try to help more people discover its charms.
And next year, he plans to visit Korea to find his roots once again. He plans to stay in Korea for more than a month, and he will continue his best efforts during that period.

Hello, My name is Karol, I'm from Minnesota, and I'm new to Reddit. I don't expect this to get much attention, but I've been needing to get this off my chest for a while. So to jump right into it, there's this girl ive known for about eight years now and she has been a bit of a big part of my life. For the sake of this story, we are just going to call her by her middle name, Grace. I had first met her when I was sitting alone at breakfast one day in my elementary school cafeteria, and she and her sister came and sat with me. I was confused until we started talking, and I got to know her quite a bit. Flash forward to the first day of 3rd grade, where I walked into the classroom with my best friend Norma, and I saw Grace again, but this time she had much longer hair and was a little taller. I started to develop feelings for grace, not just normal feelings, though I felt like I really liked her. I didn't recognize Grace at the time; I thought this was a new student. I worked up the courage to talk to her, and that's when I realized it was grace. I didn't think she knew how much of a crush I had on her at the time. A few months into the school year, I met this girl, whom we'll call Lina. Me, Grace, and Lina started to all become friends, and one day we had indoor recess, and my friend Kayla invited me to play Uno with her and some other girls, but Lina also invited me to play Truth or Dare with her, Grace, and some other girls. I decided to go play truth or dare with Lina. It was my turn, and Lina said to me, "Truth or dare?" and I chose dare. She then proceeded to say, "Whisper in your crush's ear and tell them you like them." I began to grow nervous as I felt everyone in the circle looking at me, so I leaned over to Grace and whispered to her, "I like you, but if you don't like me back, don't say it while everyone is watching." Grace whispered back to me, "Well, I do like you," and that was the beginning of an era. Looking back on that moment as I am about to go into my sophomore year, I really wish I had never played truth or dare with them. I could've saved myself from so much bullying, so much drama, and from the worst thing that's ever happened to me: grace. But let me know if you want Part 2, since this is just the beginning.

LAPTOP QUESTIONNAIRE

• Total budget (in local currency) and country of purchase. Please do not use USD unless purchasing in the US:

$500 USD

• Are you open to refurbs/used?

Sure

• How would you prioritize form factor (ultrabook, 2-in-1, etc.), build quality, performance, and battery life?

Build quality is important, my last computer fell off its hinge. Battery life is important, I'm going to need it during school (8hrs). Performance should just be average, minimal freezing is nice.

• How important is weight and thinness to you?

Somewhat. I have to carry it in my backpack for the whole day. Thinness doesn't matter much, just as long as it isn't a brick.

• Do you have a preferred screen size? If indifferent, put N/A.

My current computer is 15.6", so something close to that

• Are you doing any CAD/video editing/photo editing/gaming? List which programs/games you desire to run.

Adobe Programs (PS, AE, PP), Davinci Resolve, FL Studio. Only occasionally but I would want it to run pretty well. I have an external drive so if extra storage is needed I can use that.

• If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want?

Cities: Skylines, The Sims, and other Steam games maybe? Just default settings, nothing crazy.

• Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, reliable build quality, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/touchpad)?

A backlit keyboard would be a plus. Be reliable. I want this to last throughout high school and hopefully into college. Windows only.

• Leave any finishing thoughts here that you may feel are necessary and beneficial to the discussion.

Price range is flexible. If possible 8GB or more of memory and descent storage, please.

I’m on my third 3 day ban. I have had an Ethernet cable connecting my pc directly to my router. Everything used to work great, even if my WiFi was a little shitty sometimes. I just don’t understand what’s happening now? I really do feel like it’s something with BHVR. I’ve been getting a lot of error messages that say “a player disconnected while loading into match.” I got three in a row of those one day.
I can play basically one round if I’m lucky before I disconnect and it says “disconnected from local server.”
Like I’m just genuinely confused at this point. Support doesn’t do anything. My wifi hasn’t changed at all between the months I was at school and now. Idk man. I’ve tried asking support if it could possibly be their servers but I just get some automated response. I can’t even play the game anymore.

I think my only option is to completely resign as a stepparent. I desperately need advice about sustaining a marriage with polar opposite parenting styles, & how to deal with teenage boys with no manners or basic hygiene.
There is a lot of background here I will try to keep as to-the-point as possible. I am 34 with a 10 year-old daughter. My husband is 39 with a 15 year-old son. We each had kids at 23. We are 5 years apart, as are our kids. We were also friends for 5 years before “courting” & built a strong bond of trust already, so yes, we courted. I had rejected him a few times over the years, as I was abstinent after a toxic relationship & did not want to repeat the same patterns. Over the covid lockdowns, we started talking, texting, facetiming more than ever. When he asked me out again, I told him I was not interested in dating without the ultimate goal of marriage, to which he said, “Good. I don’t want a girlfriend, I want a wife.” 3 months later, we became engaged & our marriage is truly amazing & fulfilling in so nearly every way except one - my daughter & I, some of the most playful & outgoing outdoorsy girls you could meet, have no idea how to connect to his son. And there is nothing to make me think it is worth even trying anymore.
Miraculously, husband & I both get along extremely well with our co-parents. I could not see myself with someone that doesn’t. Neither of us have court orders or child support or rigid schedules. My daughter’s bio dad is one of my best friends, & I made very clear that a relationship with me means respecting his role. He said the same of his son’s bio mom. I come from a very blended family in which this is the ideal. My parents were at each other’s weddings & all get along & still get together. Our own coparents attended our wedding a year & a half ago. And that meant the absolute world to me & hopefully if not now, someday our kids.
For sure, my husband could not be a better stepfather. He & my daughter share inside jokes & their own games & pranks. She has her own nickname for him & will run to him & hug & climb all over him. They convinced me to add baby goats to our homestead, & have been tending to & bottle-feeding them both, a beautiful connection & commitment to share. He says, “She makes it easy.” And to put it lightly, his son does not - but I am absolutely not allowed to talk about it without getting ridiculed.
I first met the son when he was 13. Overweight, awkward, all of his hair in front of his eyes. He then retreated to his room. I know him to be the exact same now. He is 6’0 & I think over 200lbs, larger than my dad. He defaults to locking himself in his room. Unless asked to help stack wood or play a game with the rest of us, he only emerges to use the bathroom (in which he never brushes his teeth or washes his hands), or ask his dad for food - of which, he literally only eats yellow rice & chicken. He will otherwise smash an entire bag of “Takis” or flaming hot Cheetos at 10 AM & continuously throughout the day as they are available to him. He plays live multiplayer games from morning often to midnight or 3 AM, with my daughter’s room right next to him, where I blast the fan & AC & ocean sounds to drown him out. Calling this out seemed to be calling stepson out personally, so all I can do is adapt. Daughter thankfully likes it cold.
I have tried to be as soft & supportive in airing my grievances to husband, but they are never taken with grace or accountability. I am not perfect & have definitely been passive aggressive with his reactivity, as he takes my issues as insults rather than something to work on. He casts blame on bio mom or Covid, & now me. “I don’t know what goes on at bio-mom’s house, we moved an hour away & he gets carsick! I’m out of his life!” “It’s because he was stuck inside for 2 years!” “Are you sure you didn’t HEAR him say hi?” “Good news, I’ve been living with him 15 years, never sanitized a doorknob in his life, & I’ve been fine!” “I wouldn’t want to leave my room with you criticizing his every move either!”
Our first night in our new home for example, was a nightmare. My hand lotion moved from the bathroom counter to the back of the toilet - so then into our room immediately. He left the toilet seat open & my razor covered in pubes. He left open bags of chips with crumbs all over the counter. “It’s an adjustment, it’s hard on everyone!” Husband said over & over. This was an understatement, being that my daughter has been raised to ask for anything from snack time to screen time always with “please,” “thank you,” & we eat out of bowls that we put in the sink rather than stack in our room with soda cans & candy wrappers.. I am familiar with the saying, “Living room kids come from healthy families. Bedroom kids do not.” Daughter is a living room kid. Stepson is a bedroom kid. Either way, I had never had personal items used without asking &felt extremely violated by stepson, then upset that husband blamed me for it instead of understanding where I was coming from.
This remains true nearly a year later. My husband has started lashing out while drinking the past few months, accusing me of “HATING” his son, which is extremely hurtful as I do not harbor any hate in my heart for anyone. What I disdain is the way he is raising his son under our shared roof & living spaces, & that he refuses to acknowledge or communicate about it. As things were not greatly improving, I personally had a talk with stepson about basic manners. I said, “When you enter this house without a greeting or making eye contact, it is an insult. It comes off as rude & entitled & I don’t like feeling like a ghost in my own house. This is your house too & I want you to feel comfortable. But you can help me feel more comfortable too.” “Yeah, okay. Sorry.”
I have truly never had a real conversation with this kid. He does say “hi” & “bye” & the occasional “thank you” now. At this point, it is abundantly clear that he does not want me in a step role, & neither does his father, & neither does bio mom. So it seems I have no choice but to let it all go & suffer bad manners & hygiene, silence, & now bitter resentment from husband.
What I have observed is that I actually“coparent” with my daughter’s father. We coordinate around each other’s schedules, we make decisions together, we communicate about her physical, emotional, spiritual, educational, & social wellbeing. Husband & bio mom do not. They parent in isolation & simply let the other do as they please, which has resulted in a child without manners or discipline. This has led bio mom to put the kid on PROZAC without husband’s consent. This horrified me, as someone who only goes to the doctor for stitches. My daughter’s doctor is the naturopath who midwived her in the bedroom she still sleeps in at her father’s house. I understand not everyone is as holistically minded, but I begged husband to get him to a nutritionist first. The child is obese & malnourished. But too late. Bio mom did as she pleased without communication, which seems constant among them.
I have not shared my views as I know they are not welcome. Bio mom is medicated, her other 10 year-old son (deceased dad) is medicated, & now teenage stepson is as well. Husband blames our distance from him which feels like an indirect blame on me, as we are closer to my community & business as husband works from home. But truly they live in the ghetto, & I have always lived on the coast & barely like to drive through those inner cities. I set up a high school tour for them here which is one of the best schools in the state with a tech program I thought stepson would love, but he chose to stay with his friends, in one of the worst schools of the state. He incredibly won class president, though has dropped a bunch of honors classes & continues failing others.
My birthday was last week. When my husband asked what I wanted, I said baby back ribs & family. I just wanted to grill & chill due to an insane work week. I run a housekeeping business & worked for 24 hours in 3 days opening up for the summer rental season. I did not want to go crazy hosting & knew I would if we invited friends. “Are you sure? You wouldn’t be hosting, I will be! You don’t have to do a thing!” He emphasized over & again. So when a friend ended up visiting from out of state, I was ecstatic to invite her & our mutual close friend to BBQ with us. They are single moms with 4 toddlers between them & wanted to camp on our land.
We had a great day grilling & running the sprinkler & feeding the animals. Husband had promised stepson would be outside with us all day. Toward the evening, I asked where he was. “Do you see any other teenagers out there? What’s he supposed to do?” I was hurt. “Well I don’t see any 10 year-olds either, but [daughter] is still out there, & you actually said he would spend the whole day with us. I just want some time all together.” Husband knocked on his son’s door & said, “Hey it’s her birthday, it’d be nice if you come out & spend some time with us.” Then he did, & even if it was just a quick basketball game with his dad & he introduced himself to no one, it still meant so much to me.
So later when we had helped friends & toddlers set up a tent & fire in our woods, I hugged husband & thanked him for bringing stepson out with us, saying family time was all I wanted. “You two have such a healthy relationship,” my friend says. At the time, it uplifted him & he said he loved this friend to death. A few hours later, he said it was “hilarious.”
We had invited stepson’s mom, but she was out of town. My coparent joined us however, & he & husband stayed at camp with the moms & toddlers while I went to tuck daughter into bed around 9. We played some trivia to unwind, said a prayer, & I kissed her good night & went to start the dishes. Husband & coparent came back around 11 when I was ready to go to bed myself. They were suddenly on a completely different level as my slow & steady beer intake. Both their legs were gashed & covered in blood from their hike without a flashlight, which they thought was hysterical. They were loud & silly like, “You can’t go to bed, it’s your birrrfday!” & I realized, ah. They were drinking my girls’ tequila.
Coparent went on a drunk spiel thanking me so much for all the love I am, how I keep the family together, this & that & showering me with slurred praise. Husband was drunkenly yet enthusiastically agreeing & thanking me, saying I was the best. I tried staying up with them to be polite but they were so deep in conversation on a different level that I went to go make the baby goat formula for their 5AM feeding & go to bed. But I couldn’t find their bottles. I raised my hand with the men, gradually higher & higher to ask husband if he had seen them. “I see you have your hand raised, but hang on, let me finish this point,” coparent said. So husband finally noticed, & I cut in anyway asking if he had seen them. “As a matter of fact, no, YOU fed the goats last so I have no IDEA where they are,” he raised his voice, literally pointing a finger at me.
That suddenly spiraled into another drunken heated accusation of how much I hate his son. I started crying & saying all I wanted was for him to be with us today & that I was grateful he brought him out. He fought me saying they can never have a good weekend because of me, called me an “@$$hole,” & said “F you ,” 3 times in a row, upsetting me so much as there was absolutely nothing I could say, to the point I slugged him in the arm to get him to stop. This has happened twice before embarrassingly with alcohol, when he just yells & yells things that are not true & curses at me that I can’t even respond vocally. “You see how she treats me?!” Both men of course freaked out & coparent started yelling at me to listen to husband. This essentially turned into 2 hours of incessant berating from both of them. They both cried during their own tangents. It spun out of asking for baby goat bottles & continued til 2 AM with, for the first time, continual threats of divorce.
“You are not in this relationship & do not need to mediate it,” I told coparent.
“Like it or not, I am! How you treat husband affects all of us! His feelings are VALID & you need to be quiet & listen to him!” he said.
“I’ve heard this all before & it is simply not true! I do not hate stepson & he wants to divorce me because he thinks I do!”
“Emotions cause us to say things we don’t mean, he does not want to divorce you & knows you don’t hate him,” coparent said.
“Oh no, I DEFINITELY believe she hates him. And if I have to spend the last 4 years of his youth with my son being constantly criticized, I will absolutely divorce her!”
“I did not criticize him once today! I never criticize him, I am trying to help us become a functional household!”
And he just went round & round in the same circular aggressions that can only hear themselves. I continually begged for them to stop yelling as daughter’s window was open, the baby goats needed sleep, our rabbits didn’t need that stress. But I got yelled at more for that. “You can’t control passion & you need to sit down & LISTEN to your husband!” Coparent kept insisting. But I had heard it all many times before. I even tried to sleep in the goat pen, trying to settle the poor babies, still hearing the men raise their voices about me, how being critical was just my nature, & then got yelled out of there.
Around midnight, I tried to resign again & go back inside to finish dishes when stepson emerged. “Do you know where Dad is?” “Oh he’s outside, you can probably save him from [daughter’s dad].” He went into the bathroom. So I poked my head out while they continued bashing me & said, “Stepson needs you.” “I’ll be right there.” I went back to the dishes. Stepson comes out of the bathroom. As always, flushes, no faucet (or hand-washing). “He says he’ll be right there sweetie.” No words, back into his bedroom. 10 minutes go by & still no husband as I continue the endless dishes. I poke my head out again. “Did you not hear me? Your son needs you.” “ALL RIGHT!”
Turns out he needed dinner. Despite a huge spread of barbecue & potatoes & corn & pasta & salad & veggies & dips, stepson touched none of it & needed his chicken & yellow rice. So husband literally cooked him dinner at 1230AM, all the while continuing to accuse me of hating him whilst doing so.
Coparent authentically apologized the next morning on the phone. “You screamed at me for HOURS when I was ready for bed to listen to falsities I have heard over & over without ONCE trying to hear me.” He got it. He humbled & admitted specific wrongs & I accepted his apology.
“Sorry” does not seem to mean anything when you throw around the “D” word like that though. Husband pledged to stop drinking. To his credit, 3 days later, he still hasn’t. But when I said, “If you think I am capable of hate, you don’t know me at all,” the best apology he could give me was, “I’m sorry, I don’t think you hate him. But I know you don’t like him.” Then, “I don’t want to divorce you. I feel like I ruined our entire lives in one night.”
I told him that this is going to take more than “sorry” to heal, especially where blame is still cast, & he will have to “show” me. I don’t even know how, through more conscientious parenting? We haven’t slept in the same bed in 3 nights. I haven’t cooked for him, but I still clean after him. We finished some homestead projects in near-silence together.
I think I must resign to being the invisible ghost stepson makes me feel like. Do I have ANY role here but to resign & accept his parenting & continue mine with my daughter alone, while he reaps the benefits of an amazing relationship with her? Isolation parenting just like with stepson’s biomom ? If not for my daughter & our animals & gardens, I would just want to lock myself in a room all day too. But that’s what is so hard for me to get. We have nearly 30 acres & this child is permitted to be a blob on a screen living on empty calories all day & night. I cannot & will not blame a child for anything. I told my husband that when a plant isn’t thriving, you nourish it & improve its environment. He said he didn’t get it. And as deeply as I love him & don’t want to even think about divorce, I have never been so unattracted to him.

14th: Jud “Fabio” Birza (Nicaragua - Winner)

MOVIE STAR JUD \"FABIO\" BIRZA
u/SMC0629:
Fabio, my second favorite winner of the entire show, he’s just too much fun. He perfectly encapsulates the trainwreck that is Nicaragua, and is the best winner for it as well. He gets to the end by just being himself, a decent amount of luck, physical strength, and a tiny bit of strategy. I know there’s some who seem to think Fabio is brought down by this factor of the edit building him up to know what he was doing, apparently undermining everything before the endgame. If you ask me though, who’s to say he DIDN’T have a tiny strategic mind in there? It seemed perfectly reasonable and in character for me, and it only improved him for me. Love Fabio, so happy he made it this far.
~
u/DryBonesKing:
From the same editing program that watered down Mike Gabler from OTT weirdo to a CP-lite strategic player “hiding in plain sight”, we have his prototype - the OTT blond surfer-bro that the players literally changed his name from Jud to Fabio because of how he comes across that gets a watered down CP-lite strategic edit of “they don’t realize I’m actually really smart, y’all!” Quit being cowards CBS! Give us the Goofball Fabio winner edit! #LetFabioBeFuckingWeird
I stand by the Gabler-Fabio comparison, but despite how much I dislike how the CP-edit kills Gabler’s character potential, I think Nicaragua does somehow make it work with Fabio. I blame the cast itself; with people like NaOnka, Marty, Jimmy T, Jane, Shannon, Dan Lembo, and whatever the fuck a “Benry” is supposed to be, “Fabio” almost does come across sane in comparison. As such, he can get these confessionals about pretending to be dumb and it does almost work just because the people he is surrounded by just feel literally ripped from Loony Tunes.
But despite it kinda working here, I do think Fabio is hilarious when he’s just allowed to be this weirdo that no one takes seriously, that ultimatley ends up winning because he’s surrounded by two people who have truly pissed off the jury. He’s a fun character with a truly unique winner’s story, and ultimately, I just REALLY dig his vibe. I wish I had him Top 100. But I also just wish we got a full season with the “real” Fabio as opposed to the occasional cuts to CBS trying to water him down to his most strategically-presentable version. #LetFabioBeFuckingWeird #ReleaseTheFabioOTTWinnerEdit
Overall Rank – 115/821
~
u/Zanthosus:
While I’ve never been as big on Nicaragua as many in the rankdown circle, I still appreciate a lot of what the season does and represents. And I think that Fabio’s win is the perfect ending for the clusterfuck of a season that preceded it.
~
u/Tommyroxs45:
Fabio’s run on Nicaragua is simply iconic and is a great way for the season to end. Having this likable underdog beast his way to the end under all odds against him is so satisfying. I’m happy he made this endgame even if I personally don’t have him here.
u/Regnisyak1:
Fabio is cool. I have him probably lower than a lot of people comparatively, but he was a ray of sunshine on such a negative season, and his win coming out of nowhere was great. He played the surfer bro role correctly, and while I don’t think he necessarily had the greatest ability to lead a season, he is a necessary feature in making it thrive and giving it such a large cult following here. Glad he made it after a long gap.
Personal Rank: 77/821. 9/10.
~
u/ninjedi1:
Jud “Fabio” Birza (1st Place, Nicaragua)
I love Fabio. He’s easily one of my favorite winners of all time. Every time I reevaluate my winners rankings, Fabio at worst will be the third best winner for me. Plus, as an added bonus, he also stars in my favorite B movie of all time, My Stepbrother is a Vampire!?!, which I won on DVD (I’m not joking, who do you think got the screenshot of Fabio for this writeup?). I mentioned in my Colby 3.0 writeup how I consider Nicaragua the last true old school season of Survivor, and that’s because it feels like a big fuck you to strategy, and Fabio plays a huge role in it. Enough of simply stating my love for Fabio’s character, it's time to describe why he’s so great.
The first episode properly sets Fabio up as who he is as a character this season. He gets the first confessional of the season, talking about how dangerous it really is out there and how it's not like the zoo cause it's all real (the first hint of the winner for being the first confessional of the season). He then gets put on the young people tribe, which he says are his people. One of Fabio’s main characteristics gets shown right at the start, where he basically says that they could use a snorkel flipper to collect rainwater, and when Chase said Fabio looked like he would be good in the water, Fabio instantly gets a woodchip in his foot, making him rescind the comment. Shannon then has a confessional where he calls Fabio a dumb blonde, and it instantly cuts to Fabio getting pinched by a crab claw. He then starts calling Fabio his titular nickname…uh…Fabio. This quickly catches on in the tribe, and even at the first challenge where Jeff tries to talk to “Jud”, the tribe corrects him, saying that they only know Fabio. This is Fabio’s first characterization, that he’s a goofball that isn’t taken seriously. While that’s a big characterization, it's not the most important one. The important one is shown in his confessional responding to his new nickname. He comes off surprised that everyone is calling him Fabio, calling the guy a cheeseball, but then says that he doesn’t care what people are going to call him cause he’s going to win the million dollars (in the weirdest audio edit ever) so people can call him Fabio. This highlights his second characterization, and the most important one, he is aware of what other people think of him.
Of course, just because he’s aware of his status doesn’t necessarily mean he has great strategic capabilities. This is shown in the first La Flor vote, where it's looking to be between either Shannon and Brenda, and Fabio was voting for Brenda with Shannon’s. However, Shannon has a huge meltdown at tribal, which clearly would be bad to stick with and would be better to switch sides. However, Fabio ends up sticking with Shannon anyways, voting for Brenda and going “I guess this is the vote?”, which put him on the outs. This would normally be an issue, but since everyone sees him as a goofball, he’s not near the bottom of the pecking order. It also helps that La flor will win every immunity from here on out until the swap happens, and while not happy at first that a swap was happening, he happy with the end result, as he ends up in the majority with the OG La Flor members, although some La Flor members aren’t too happy to work with Fabio strategically. Luckily though, Fabio would successfully make it to merge, where his true game would begin.
I would usually just talk about what Fabio did throughout the merge, but I would rather highlight his interactions with key people from the merge, as they all highlight Fabio’s main characteristics to varying degrees and also help add to his story.
Alina
Alina and Fabio don’t interact too much, as Alina would spend most of her time with Kelly B and then gets swapped onto Espada when the tribe swap happens, separating her from Fabio. But when they return at the merge, Alina ends up getting targeted for her involvement with the missing food fiasco. When she tries to pitch to Fabio to keep her around, he just flat out tells her that people want her out cause she’s dangerous and people think she always has a hidden motive. This does reflect back to earlier in the game, when they were both at the bottom but no one was worried about Fabio and wanted Alina and Kelly B out first. This would carry over all the way over to that moment now. Fabio has more on the pulse in the game than people think as shown here, and he’s able to avoid it due to how he plays up the perception of him.
Marty
On paper, it makes no sense for Marty to vote for Fabio as the winner. How could the most strategic guy on Espada vote for the least strategic person in the game? However, the relationship they develop over time is what really shines. When Marty gets swapped onto La Flor, everyone from OG La Flor either wants him out, or to use him for strategic gain. Fabio is really the only guy from OG La Flor that has his back. Fabio tells Marty about Naonka getting the clue, and when OG La Flor wants to split the vote and get Marty out, Fabio fights for Marty to stay. Even though Marty does trick Fabio by claiming he was a chess grandmaster, he does warm up to Fabio. They even work together at the merge, although that ends up being short-lived as Marty is taken out
Naonka and Purple Kelly
I have to lump these two together since they both highlight the one issue with Fabio’s story. Unfortunately, since both of them quit, they both get slaughtered by the edit, which in turn ends up hurting Fabio’s story since they’re both key to it. With Naonka, she is Fabio’s biggest adversary. She finds his antics way more annoying than funny, and actively yells at him when he complains to her about something, and pretty much dislikes him all around. The feeling appears to be neutral while there on La Flor, but not all is what it seems. When merge comes around Fabio and Naonka reunite again, they actually hug and get along. Even if that ends up being short lived when Naonka steals food, but when she gets cornered and comes clean about it, Fabio is the only one to thank her for doing that. Eventually, all that kindness pays off when at the F9 reward, Naonka is the one to fill him in on the Brenda vote. When FTC comes around, Naonka, despite everything that they’ve been through, calls Fabio her hippy friend and asks about how seeing his Mom gave him the strength to keep going, and Fabio gives a heartfelt answer, telling her about how much he misses his Mom and that it was the fuel he needed to make it all the way to the end of the game. Despite their rocky relationship, Naonka ends up giving Fabio her vote to win.
Purple Kelly is another important aspect of Fabio’s story that unfortunately gets buried due to the assassination edit given to Purple Kelly. Everyone knows that Kelly was miserable due to being given very little clothes to keep her warm during Nicaragua’s monsoon season, which led to her quitting. The only real time it gets acknowledged is when Fabio mentions that now Purple Kelly can sleep when they win the tarp, which is barely heard because it happens the same time that Chase finds a hidden immunity idol clue in the tacklebox. But it's interesting that Fabio is the one to vocally acknowledge it, as he’s the one who’s most involved in it. It's never mentioned, but you do always see it. Multiple times throughout Nicaragua, you can see Kelly wearing Fabio’s yellow jacket. He allowed her to wear it sometimes when she was cold to help her stay warm. Just that kind of gesture along from Fabio helping her out the best he could, led to her voting for Fabio to win in the end.
Benry
I don’t have much to say about Fabio’s relationship with Benry, but there are two things I want to highlight from it. The first is during the Marty vote, where Benry says that the best plan is to lay low and play stupid, while Fabio says that he hated playing stupid but it was the smartest thing to do. Fast forward to the F7, and the vote is between Fabio and Benry. The main alliance of Chase, Sash, Holly, and Jane are deciding who should go between Fabio, who everyone on the jury loves and could win, or Benry, who could go on an immunity run to the end. While Fabio is in general clueless at the vote and is still “playing stupid”, Benry ends up playing really hard to get the vote onto Fabio, which freaks out Chase and leads to the alliance voting out Benry over Fabio. And guess who ends up going on an immunity run right after F6 and makes it to the end and wins?
Jane
At the first merge immunity, it's a double immunity where the last standing man and woman would win immunity. When it came down to the men, the last two guys standing were Fabio and Chase. Ultimately though, it would be Chase that drops first, giving Fabio immunity. The only person that Fabio really had to compete against was Jane. This is a great foreshadow to the end of Jane’s store as well as the continuation of Fabio’s. Both of their stories are kind of similar overall, both of them end up on the outs of their starting tribe, they get new life when the swap happens, they're both overall well liked, and they were both screwed over by Chase during the loved ones visit. Both of them had strong cases to win the game just with overall likability, but one of them would have to go to allow the other one to thrive, and when Fabio comes in clutch to win F6 immunity, the majority alliance decides to cut Jane as a threat, allowing Fabio to fully harness Jane’s power to get to the end.
Sash and Chase
Once again I’m going to lump these two together because they are the ones that end up sitting next to Fabio at the end. You have big strategy Sash and country boy Chase. On paper, it should be one of these two that should win the season instead of Fabio. They were both in control for most if not all of the game, and the only reason why Fabio was there was because he won a couple immunities at the end. But yet, Fabio is the one to clutch out the title of sole survivor. Why? In my opinion, it's because Fabio is always himself, so people see him as a genuine guy, while the other two come off as terrible or fake.
Sash's main game is strategy, doing whatever he needs to get ahead of the game and make it farther. Any bond he has with someone is only on a surface level which makes him come off as sleazy and slimy, while Fabio is always genuine with his feelings and relationships with people. No one highlights this better than Marty. Marty’s main relationships involving La Flor were mainly Fabio and Sash. While Fabio always liked Marty and gets to know Marty on a personal level, Sash only really talks to Marty for strategy and cons him out of his idol on the promise of keeping him around longer. And when Sash no longer needed to keep Marty around anymore, he burned him and voted him out. Everything Sash does comes off as slimy to everyone, even his allies, while Fabio remains pure and genuine.
With Chase, it's a bit of a different story. Chase wants to be the good guy, but gets caught up in the strategy, and keeps ending up being on both sides. He always gets flip floppy and wishy washy when it comes to voting someone out or for rewards, which ends up annoying people. It's not a problem at first, but it definitely is when he starts making promises to people that he can’t keep which upsets them more, hurting his image and makes people like him less. The biggest example to this is the loved ones visit where he promised to take Fanio on reward with him if he won. However, Chase ends up burning both Fabio and Jane, who expect Chase to pick her. This leads to both Fabio and Jane being upset, and even Fabio telling Jane about the promise Chase made, which also pissed off Dan who was there. Chase always wants to maintain being the good guy while he is playing the game but struggles because of his indecisions and breaking of promises, while Fabio is actually able to maintain that status all throughout.
This all pays off at FTC, where we finally get to see Fabio speak out against the two guys, talking about how he actually got to play the game that Chase wanted to play. He talks about how played hard by being himself and being an open book for everyone, and never backstabbed anyone in the game which Sash could never do and Chase wishes he could do. He laughs when Sash calls him a wingman, telling him to take a backseat and take some notes. He doesn’t even let jurors who put him down get in his way, as when Alina says that he wants to vote for a man to win, not a boy, Fabio said he deserved to win, and when Chase said that winning three immunities didn’t mean he outwit, outplay, or outlast hi, Fabio points out that that’s outplaying him and he chose to bring Chase to the end and then says that Sash didn’t outplay anyone. I know people usually say that Chase had the better FTC performance since he flipped votes to his side, but that doesn’t matter (and is also wrong) as Fabio will end up clenching a 5-4 victory in one of the best endings to a season I could ever ask for, and that’s awesome.
SMC0629: 5
DryBonesKing: 19
Zanthosus: 20
Tommyroxs45: 15
Regnisyak1: 21
DavidW1208: 7
ninjedi1: 2
Average Placement: 12.714
Total Points: 89
Standard Deviation: 7.889 (3rd Highest)

Hi okay this is my first reddit post so please be patient if it's wonky.
For the story I feel the need to give a lot of backstory so thia post is going to be long. Also these are are fake names duh.
Ok so basically me (f16) and my best friend Ann (f16) have been really close seen the 3rd grade. We always were cose but in the last we became extra close. Ann and I are both gay. And to be clear 100% not in love with each other, she's like my sister. So Ann started dating her now ex-girlfriend Margaret during May of 2023. They continued to date over the summer and into the school year. One of Margarets close friends is someone named Shannon (f17) who is also gay. My friend Ann and Shannon have had classes with each other the entire time during highschool and are friends. So during the summer or 2023 Ann began hanging out with Margarets friends including Shannon. During these hangouts everyone would get drunk together sometimes.
Okay anyways now starting the 2023 school year where I am in 11th grade. I start taking a class because of Ann begging me that is 1 class period with a large amount of people. In that class is Shannon. I had known of Shannon but never spoken to her. I only knew Shannon because Ann has liked her our 9th grade year and people thought Shannon was funny. Basically one day in the class I jokingly insulted Shannon and then felt really bad about it. I dmed her on Instagram and we basically did not stop dming ever. The class we have together you have to work a lot with classmates and we were on pages together. In the beginning we maybe took a few days breaks but it eventually became we would text for at least an hour every single day. Now at this same time Ann is beginning to do more school stuff with Margaret such as go to football games. At these events Shannon is there. I began my the end of September to develop feelings for Shannon. I told Ann this. Margaret unprompted told Ann that they should get Shannon and I together. Shannon then told Margaret she wasn't interested. (I later found out this was a lie.) Now during the school year Ann and I are becoming closer but we also are constantly bickering. It was something that was developing to become worse over time. Now finally December happens and all my friends are convinced Shannon likes me. In early December Margaret and Ann break up. This makes Anns already declining mental health get worse. On the 20th of December Ann and Shannon have plabs to hang out and drink. Ann has a master plan that she will ask Shannon about me. Shannon does end up admitting her feelings. Ann tells me this and I message Shannon. On the 1st I tell Shannon I like her and Shannon feels the same. We hang out more and then on the 12th I ask Shannon to be my girlfriend and she agrees. Okay so this is only the back story so get ready.
During December and January Ann was so upset and depressed. Ann has some history of depression but it was the worst I had ever seen it. I also have depression and I am on medication for it and see a therapist. But Ann is someone who does not like to express her feelings and when she does, she does it by being really rude. During this time Ann and I are constantly bickering and disagreeing. We are genuinely getting just constantly so upset with each other. Shannon my girlfriend (this is important for context) also has mental health issues. Ann and Shannon at this point are very close. Ann and Shannon sometimes drink with each other especially when they are very upset. At first I had no idea how I felt about this. I think I felt in part very upset that my best friend who I was constantly fighting with and who wasn't making plans to hang out with me, was getting drunk with my girlfriend. I also felt very stressed for my girlfriend and friend and honestly this behavior reminded me of a form of self harm which I have a history of. So I in part felt triggered by it. I also felt jealous that Shannon and Ann were getting drunk together and sharing a bed together and that they had once mutually liked each other. Because they had. In our freshmen year and into our sophomore year they had mutually liked each other. And I am not dumb I have liked many people and it no longer means anything. However it still upset me.
Now here here's when there's lots of feelings. On Valentine's Day Shannon and I had plans to do something after she got off work and exchange gifts. Ann and I have first period together. In first period we were talking about Fleetwood Mac with another friend. I then made a joke about my other friend and Ann gatekeeping and went to my seat. Later when walking to my 3rd period I overheard Ann talking to one of our friends about me. Ann was saying that she did not understand why I was so upset. I wasn't originally but not I was. I hysterically cried all of 3rd period. I felt so hurt. I walked to 4th period which I have with Ann and the friend Ann was talking to. When I got to class Ann said "I have a question for you". I responded with "I have a statement for you". Ann then asked me why I was so upset about the joke and I said I wasn't. I then told Ann that if she was going talk about me to do it where I can't hear. I hysterically cried for the rest of the class in silence. Ann apologized and said she didn't mean to hurt me and that we could discuss this during our preplanned sleepover. At this sleepover Ann and I with parent permission for drunk. I talked to Ann about how I felt and jealousy. She said she was sorry for how mean she had been to me and that Shannon and her would never cheat on me.
Now to preface this next thing I had talked to Shannon multiple times about how I feel. I talked to Shannon about feeling hurt by Ann and feeling jealous. I also had texted Ann about it more. Ann and I were both trying to be kinder to each other. Now I don't know how many times it happened but Ann and Shannon did keep getting drunk together. It wasn't often but also never. Now either end of February or beginning of March is when I get my feelings hurt so bad. That day in the morning before class Ann texted me and texted me asking if I was okay if Ann and Shannon skipped 1st period to hang out in Shannons car because Shannon was having a really hard time. Ann and Shannon had done this before. I responded to Ann's text with "IDK just do it" and she then said she wouldn't if I didn't want it and I responded "Just do it". I then started hysterically crying. I expected Ann not to be in 1st period so I was excited to cry in peace. To my horror she did not hang out with Shannon in her car. So basically ended of silently hysterically crying for half of the day because I was so done. Now for about the next part you need context, I LOVE hot pretzels, the ones you can get at the movie theaters. Subway had recently come out with a hot pretzel and Shannon really liked it and we planned to get it sometime. Now the day of this all happening Shannon and I had plans to have a sleepover. Shannon told me originally when we first started hanging out that she got a pretzel. Hs when ended up later telling me that Ann and our mutual friend and her got hot pretzels. Shannon didn't want to mention it to me because she knew I would be upset. Apparently Shannon also was going to invite me but forgot and thought I worked on Fridays (I never work Fridays). We then discuss it and I hysterically cry. Shannon really tries to ask me what could be done to make me feel better. And we discuss it and I feel better. I do later on have to tell Shannon that I don't appreciate it when her and Ann make jokes about being in love with each other after I hysterically cried to both of them.
This leads to now. I have been feeling a lot better about it. Ann and Shannon still hang out and it's still upsetting sometimes. Ann now has a girlfriend so I hope that provides me a sense of further security. Ann and I are also doing a lot better. However I just wanted some incite in what I could do for myself to feel better about this. There is more that happened in between them ans now but this post is already so long. I will give more context if people want. Please give me some advice, and I am not looking to be told to break up with them. Thank you!

I can't believe I'm writing this. But I need some insight cause I find myself getting angry and confused. This is my first reddit post. Please excuse my redditor literacy.
This is the most convoluted story. It is long. But it's a ride.
You've been warned.
(Fake names obviously)
I (20f) have a best friend, Karl (20m) of 4 years. Now I see what you might assume. No. We're close but I'm mainly into women, I currently have a partner and have had a partner 90% of the time they where dating.
Now Karl got with Regina(19f) late 2022, the relationship started off rocky as she said "I only want you" but then kissed her ex, and then couldn't decide who she wanted. But still insisted once she chose Karl, she wanted to stay friends with her ex. Posted pictures when they'd "hang out" where it looked like she was sitting on his lap. But she swore she wasn't. Constantly blocked him after things would happen, then unblocked him, lied, then cried when Karl would find out.
Yes. Infuriating. But here you go. That's how Regina was introduced to our lives.
It took a while but eventually I tried to look past this. I care about Karl, if this was who he loved. We accepted it. Infact made it a point to invite her out to gatherings, made sure to offer her food, offer her drinks, chatting. Making sure she's involved. Gassing her up. Girlie things. (God I'm so desperate for everyone to love me it's a problem.)
Then her friends, ex boyfriend began to follow me, I had hoped this was because of how well I'd done to make friends. But this waa short lived.
Originally I'd just hoped it was banter. I'd chat to them, often sending pictures with Regina in her classes and joking with me.
Unfortunately I have social impairments, Slowly it became clear they where just laughing at me, calling me names but with cutesy emojis. Remember the girls in highschool? The ones thatd pretend to be your friend in class because it was funny? Like that.
So i stopped paying attention, often ignoring them. Unfortunately it only got worse. It got to a point I'd be spammed and have my instagram story replies with slurrs, calling me a pdf. File??? (I was talking to someone 6 years older than me?) Weird references, calling me cringe (I know. I know, worst thing ever right.), picking on my hair, my eyes(strabismus), my clothing. So I folded. Told Karl I wouldn't be dealing with it anymore. I'd blocked them, and asked karl To ask Regina to ask her friends to stop contacting me, I was doing my finishing project in college (uk) to get into university and it was getting to point I couldn't focus. I told him what had been happening, that I didn't know what her problem was. But I am a adult woman and this was bizarre.
Now, that alone. I forgave and in time, forgot. She had allegedly appologized "for them" and didn't know any of that was happening and had no I'll intent and hoped we could still be friends. Okay, sure.
Weird semi important point: she confessed in a groupchat that she used to be a 'chav' I said " you do look like someone who'd have bullied me" Banter. She then posted on her Instagram story (Paraphrased by memory) "When someone says you look like someone who'd have bullied them- but your friend died" I can't remember, but it was along the lines of that kind of 'what the fuck does that even mean'
Upon a later night of drinking, regina was talking to Karl about the ex, Mike. I brang up the fact her ex boyfriend kept liking my photos and was following me Hoping to bond over the fact this guy was weird, common girly bonding
"You know he only follows you so he could make fun of you and how cringe your posts are". She laughs.
The group goes quiet and holy shit I'm embarrassed. I just internalise that and change the subject.
Later I repost a reel of a guy saying something vaugely corresponding to this convosation. Basic premise when someone tells you their friend talks shit about you, then obviously you ask "why do they do that to you" (I know childish but at this point I was starting to really dislike her. My friend had sent it to me, It was late.) When i say She launched, "if you've got a problem talk to me instead of being weird and I'd tell you I was so scared of Mike and he held such a power over me and I just let him chat shit" I'd love to just mention this is after the 2nd time she'd unblocked him to talk to him behind Karl's back. I put up with it. Karl is at this point family. And if this is who he loves. We have to love her too.
This is all important to the point I swear.
Anyway.
My partners (now ex) friend Frank (22) and us fell out. Unimportant to this story but he let me know, Regina and an old very close friend had a groupchat to say very unpleasant things about me in, despite this old friend I never stopped speaking well of. Hoping we'd find eachother again. He'd been scouted when we had fallen out. But respected me enough to tell me. Another confrontation where she is so misunderstood and I'm making a big deal out of nothing and she's never ever had a problem with me.
Okay. Talked to Karl again. He is shocked but takes her word. As I'd kinda expect. Its his girlfriend. He took her to London over my birthday, he didn't want to ruin it. So he gave it up.
Karl throughout this is withdrawing from us. When he's with us it's like the light is gone from his eyes. He's distracted, quiet, doesn't laugh as much. Often tries to slip out of meetups because he'll "only bring you guys down". He's constantly picking up his phone. Constantly messaging. Cancelling plans. He won't talk to us. We where all worried.
Karl few months later calls me for advice. Turns out she kept getting caught in lies about her ex and general behaviours. Ignoring him for days again, threatening to game quit if she doesn't get the attention she wants. It'd all gotten so tiring that he didn't have any attraction to her anymore. He had no sex drive. He dreaded seeing her. But had to constantly message her. He's been feeling like this for months. Karl didn't want to leave her just before her birthday, he felt it cruel. But then it was the anniversary coming up. He didn't want to be responsible. He'd tried gifts, trips, anything just to make her happy. No matter what he did he still felt like nothing was enough. I managed to talk him through. About threatening suicide if someone wants to leave, is indeed abuse. He wasn't himself. How we felt and how we where worried. He got choked up. Not realizing anyone cared. He asked if he should leave. I asked if he was happy. "I can't imagine not having her there." Okay no. Not what I asked. Eventually he confessed He'd never felt lower. I said. Can you see yourself marrying her? No. Infact he said the thourght freaked him out. I said. Well. Why are you with her. Eventually it got to a point He left her. She said she'd been thinking about it. Yay? No 12 hours later he calls me saying its all fixed. Its all okay. How He's a horrible person for doing this to her. How it's him that needs to change. How he will spend a long time making this up to her. You know. I'm a domestic abuse survivor. But I never realized how much hearing that killed abit of my sould. Trying to convince Karl that he's worth anything is like trying to convince a deaf non signing American Conservative that the gays aren't trying to make him gay too.
They do eventually a few months later split. She says she wants to breakup as he "doesn't love her the way she wants him to" he is hurt but says okay. She then obviously realizes hey, he isn't gonna start begging on his knees. You can only hurt someone so much. She then asks "breakup sex" directly after and to this day its our favourite quote. But he says no, she asks for one more night, he says no you just broke up with me? Leave? She complains about not being able to get to the train station. Now. Karl didn't have his licence till a few weeks later. So queue the weirdest car ride with his DAD you've ever heard of. She cried. Hugged him. Begged him to reconsider. Karl officially has realized how disconnected he's become. Nah.
Queue a weird amount of messages ranging between "I'm sorry baby" to "I CANT BELIEVE YOURE GIVING UP ON US" and sexually charged messages, After karl finally blocks her. She begins to call him from various different numbers. Tries to get with his friends. Fails. Still calls him crying for the next 6 months. In which these events happen.
Frank from before. Now it turns out. While we don't have full timeline but either weirdly around the time they broke up they got /very/ close. To the point despite Frank having a partner. She was begging him to sleep with her. But Being weird with it. One minute she wants him. Next she doesn't. Basically, she loves the idea that she could have him. But doesn't want to keep any of them. Frank had a girlfriend. Goddess of a lady. Daisy. Regina proceeded to pick on every little thing to Frank about daisy she could. Always. Physical appearance.
Then. Now I am simply not making this up. after Frank separates himself from this situation. Regina begins to harrass Daisy, With telling Daisy about how much Frank's missing out on not shagging her instead.
And making 6 different instagram accounts to harrass them, and this is where I come in further.
Regina now, after the hate group chooses some last straws she can pull to drag him back. She makes a fake account. Goes to message Frank. With the opener of gossip about me and my partners sex life. I talked to Regina less times than I can Count on one hand.
The main one I'm aware of is "Did you know my partner drinks my names piss" Which I'm not here to kink shame; but this does not happen unfortunately but i still find it beautiful of a statement.
I one day due to some more harassment and more attention than I'm used to.
Decide to private my instagram. It was only for 24 hours in full so I could change some settings and archive some things. Within 15. An account. David, requests to follow. Strange. Cause my account is shadow banned and cannot be shown to non followers. I click. Heavens foretold dear friends. Regina's new boo. Id like to clarify. 2 weeks before Karl was still getting snotty teary calls telling him she misses him. Karl's friends where sending screenshots of Regina trying it on with them then getting snotty when she was rightfully laughed at.
I ask "hi??"
"Hi me and my girlfriend just wanted to stalk how cringe your posts are" I wish I could have been funny and not caught off guard. And shamed them. Oh god. I wish I had. Basically I told him, the gym is waiting. She will chew you up. Idk what I did but I'm sorry. Godamn. Leave me be. And they said "It's not that deep lighten up" I am indeed embarrassed.
But they kept mentioning my workplace. I am a bartender, and one day she did come in with a man, they seems very loved up but then again. It certainly wasn't this guy. then said bad things about me infront of a coworker. It was a little satisfying seeing her face fall and hit the table from shame as I was carrying an ice bucket past her. She was already cut off at this point for her antics.
David's best friends memepage now follows me. But has been the first out of 5 accounts not to say anything. I'm sure they think I don't know. David claimed I was lying in my encounter. I do wonder if I could flip the table entirely.
but I also wonder if she's just very mentally unwell. But it's been 1.5 years of this and I'm just abit knackered and pissed off.
I'm 20 feeling like a highschooler. But I'm working for a bipolar diagnosis and I have ADHD, the paranoia. Is driving me up the wall man. Like this woman knows enough of my details and she's spread where I work. She's been to my house. She has clearly gotten multiple people involves historically and despite me trying to apologise, it makes no difference.
If I knew what the issue was, I'd gauge it. But it's not knowing and not being told. But it's reassuring it's not just me. With daisy, I'm wondering if this is historic. Might be vanity? She (used to?) Post alot of ...suggestive photography and always wears a lingerie corset and heavy makeup, filters. Nothing wrong with that of course but she's a very sexually orientated person, and given the contexts to that behaviour. I wonder if its to cover some in depth issues. But that's just a theory. Part of feels hey, if she needs men to tell her that I am ugly, cringe and worth nothing. Then she van have that. The other half makes me want vengeance for the boy, prove that I'm not whatever she'd been making me out to be and make her realize she needs to change. But that's. abit pathetic innit.
Anyway I doubt anyones made it this far and if you have. Thank you for reading my story and the weirdness of it. I hope it hasn't been too shit. Just needed to get it off my chest. And maybe if anyone has anything to say.
TLDR: my best friends ex has always had an issue despite my efforts. Getting various people to harrass and bully me, She tried to get with his friends, other guys we knew and harrassing us all. All while still crying she misses him. Her new bf thinks I'm lying and is joining in, his best friend now follows me too. My partner allegedly drinks my piss <3

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/WanderingWifie
I'm a gaming widow
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest & Marriage
TRIGGER WARNING: addiction, physical violence
Original Post Apr 20, 2024
How is it not me? Help me understand as a gaming widow
My(38f) husband(34m) spent $1800 in 3 months on a mobile game. He recently started purchasing google play cards behind my back so it's not apparent on the bank statement. I caught him because I found it in our truck under the seat. Now he asks for google play cards...except I'm too scared to say no..he's so mean and cold and the walls have holes from it.
I started going to therapy because he's forced us into living almost below paycheck to paycheck. Ofc we've had multiple convos and he knows he may lose me.
I asked my therapist, "How is it not my fault when the kids and me are his life he's trying to escape?" . My therapist kept repeating, "I promise it's not, this is something within him".
I hate her answer.
Can you help me see it from his view? I feel like he doesn't want to be a father to our kids (2m, 7f). Maybe he doesn't want a life with me and can't admit it? Is therapist trying to coddle me? Like is she worried if she says, "WanderingWifie, you are a shit mom. You are a shit partner. You are a shit person. This is your fault because you're a SAHM and he hates living with you in the life you've created together!" That I'll never come back or hurt myself?
He tells me, "at least I'm here. I could be doing (xyz event away from home)after work". At this point I might as well consider him a "cardboard cutout that's glued to the chair". No, really. Our 2yr son got all the way out the door when I was in the backyard letting the dogs out.
I miss my husband so fucking much. We don't go to bed together anymore. He goes to bed at around 130am. I'm never his focus after the kids go to bed. He thinks he's "present" but I doubt he could tell you the plot of any movie or show we've watched lately. He's glued to it for all but maybe 1-2 waking hours...that's me being generous and counting all total points he briefly engages with us. He gets angry when I ask for help putting the kids to bed because it's in the middle of one of his battle raids.
Please please be brutally honest. I don't want to fight for someone to stay in a life they hate.
My MIL is trying to save me from her own son Apr 21, 2024
It just hit me this morning as I sat processing my most recent appointment. It was at her insistence that I saw a therapist that worked closely with women's health. My MIL is the one that briefed the therapist on the situation with her son and his addiction.
My therapist asked, "Does your MIL know how bad the situation at home can get?".
For a moment I didn't answer and the pieces slowly came together as I spoke, "I didn't need to. She saw the holes in the wall and now the shattered glass in the cabinet. I didn't even have a conversation about the cabinet. She texted me after that she was booking me with you and that a wife should never fear her husband. But I never said I was afraid. She knew.."
I cannot imagine how hard this must have been for my MIL; accepting her son is capable of evil and knowing the therapist would guide me into seeing the addiction and abuse wasn't normal, knowing it would leave to me putting plans in place to leave him. She did this knowing the divorce will be nasty and I will have main custody of the kids.
This woman stood up for other woman over her son and I don't know how to begin to thank her.
Edit: info: FIL & MIL grew up in physically abusive households they are not abusive.
My husband is verbally abusive. The concern is it transferring from holes in the walls/smashed glass to my face being met with his fist. For those that don't see holes in walls as warnings....you are blind the way I was...it can turn on a dime, it's a question of when. I had become so used to it preaddiction that it no longer phased me as "not normal". The addiction has ramped his anger issues up. I do not feel safe saying no when he asks to spend money on it.
Edit 2: I promise to continue to update and make posts. It's hard for me to not delete because this addiction...and what it's done...not only is it not talked about (on the rise according to my therapist and WHO has classified it as a disorder similar to gambling) but people that "don't get it" are like "WHAT A LOSER". Please understand this is a 13 year relationship (married for 9 of them) and he was not always like this. I loved the man I married. I do not love this man that has replaced him.
He said something really mean but it's true Apr 27, 2024
"At least I haven't wasted 30K on an education that resulted in nothing".
We've been fighting a lot...mostly about the mobile game addiction. I don't want to get into it here but it's a lot of money and time. My post history talks more about it.
I started crying on the spot when he said it. It was a low blow for many reasons.

1. I tried several different majors in my 20's but bad mental health got in my way and I failed.
   
2. I graduated last summer from a medical trade there are no jobs for.
   
3. I got fired in Jan (2 weeks from the 90 day probation) from my last job and it devastated me because I tried my hardest at it...I guess I'm just garbage at admin work.
   
4. I've been feeling very lost in life and wondering my purpose. Should I go back to my career I had before the kids? I was just a dog groomer...average at best..I tried to break away with a career change but that failed..as you can see.
   

He has tried to apologize but I'm too hurt. I don't feel like I have the right to be mad because what he said is true.
I was supposed to start volunteering at the animal shelter and groom strays for free as per my therapist's hope to "get me out there". Instead, I'm sitting with my daughter watching movies... not wanting to see the light of day.
Update: My MIL is trying to save me from her own son May 22, 2024
Well...It's been over a month... and a lot happened. He blew up my chance to volunteer at the animal shelter. He did not like it when I got strong and said, "I'm not nothing without you; I have rights, you will owe my alimony, half of the house for starters". So he went after the therapist who also mainly runs the shelter... whatever he said made her not respond to my emails or messages. I believe he accused her of purposely ruining a marriage and probably some legal threat from his response. I'm really sad and feel like I can't trust therapists after this...I worry that maybe I'm too damaged... mostly I wonder what was said. I feel freaking abandoned but I don't want to unpack that in this post tbh.
Last night all hell broke loose and I said the words out loud, "I want a seperation- I'm done". I was/am done with doing all the house chores; (laundry, dishes, all & any house cleaning, pet feeding/walking/poop clean up, all the emotional labor of helping 7f with school & teachers, taking on all the finances because he can't be trusted not to spend stupidly & selfishly). I was/am tired of doing all the potty training with 2m and 95% of diapers. I was/am tired of feeling embarassed to let people in the house because of the holes in walls.
I bet you can guess how well it went. New wall holes. Hooray. I went into the laundry room, locked it, and screamed, "No! You don't come in here! This is my safe space. I will fucking call the cops.".
I stayed there for two hours. He kept trying to get me to come out and talk. I said, "I do not feel like we can have a conversation without fighting. " each time. Then I went to bed and pretended to sleep as he got ready for work (omg I was so happy he got called in).
In the morning I texted my mil that it was over and I was leaving at the end of the month. I asked her to make sure he has support during this time...because...I still love him and don't want him to anything dumb. She responded with simply "We (meaning my fil as well) love you ". Omg I cried. I cried because, as a mother myself, I cannot imagine how painful this is for her.
Later on my husband called me. I listened to that canary sing like his life depended on it. He said he would delete the game or not spend anything on it. He said he would create a chore sch with me so I wouldn't be doing everything.
My heart so badly wanted to believe it. I knew I couldn't give in...he needed to feel the gravity of his fuck ups; the almost 3k he spent on a game in 4 months, preventing me from going to therapy, ruining my chance to restart my former career (dog groomer), and just everything.
So that's all for now...I'm sitting here..at midnight...nervous for when he comes home tomorrow (he's gone 12-48 hours at a time for his job).
Ps. My dad is doing his second round of chemo and so far-so good. They did find cancer in his lymph nodes after surgery..so yes it spread but not as bad as it could be. Thank-you to the redditor's that said such kind things.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP when asked why she is still talking to her husband and doesn't take the kids and leave

It's a funny thing. This is someone I've been with for 13 years. The major shift in everything happened 4 months ago when he found the game. It's not so easy when you've been a sahm for 7 years esp in this job market.
I used to say the same thing as you when I heard of people in abusive situations. All I can say is unless you've been in a situation similar you do not and cannot possibly understand.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Before COVID, during my first year of high school, I was an excellent student. When the pandemic hit, I was told not to stress about grades because universities would be understanding of the impact of the pandemic on our mental health and focus. However, after the pandemic, I struggled to regain my academic motivation. Previously, grades meant a lot to me, and receiving a B would have a significant impact on my mood. But now, they don't hold as much value to me. I've come to realize that grades are just a part of the game and don't truly reflect my worth. In the second semester of my first year, my academic performance worsened, and I received a D, the lowest grade I've had since middle school.
Despite knowing that I am intelligent, I'm currently in a funk. People have suggested that I pursue a major in international relations and even consider a career in law or explore my interest in trades and construction management. However, I feel so confused that I can't focus on any particular path.
In addition to my academic struggles, the tragic events like the Oct 7 massacre in Israel have deeply affected me, leaving me feeling depressed and detached from reality. At one point, I even considered enlisting as a lone soldier to fight in the war, disregarding my physical and mental limitations.
With the rise of antisemitism on campuses and the ideological zealotry related to diversity, equity, and inclusion, I have lost faith in universities as credible institutions. Moreover, the decreasing value of a college degree has left me uncertain about making the right decision for my future.
Despite my parents covering my expenses, I am still feeling unhappy. I am aware of the Buddhist concept that life involves suffering. How can I find joy in life and accept things as they are? The fact that I am writing this shows that I do care to a degree. How can I regain my focus and motivation?

Just trying to get as many opinions as possible bc the people in my life keep giving me mixed viewpoints.
One of my (18F) best friends (18M) is a guy we can call Kevin. Kevin was seriously one of my closest friends, someone who could give me brutal truth and honesty, great advice, reciprocate my sense of humour and talk about any topic to.
Kevin and I first met in grade 8 where he was the new kid at my old school and I was one of his first friends. Kevin and I lived in the same area, which is a trek to my old school, and was one of the only kids my age I knew in that area, so we became fast friends and close. Kevin, at one point in year 9 (ages ago), had a crush on me, but I rejected him bc I knew our friendship was better than that, and nothing of that nature has come up since.
In late year 10, Kevin got a girlfriend, Alanna (now 18F). I’ve moved schools and Kevin is one of the only people I’m still in contact with, and now my only friend who lives in my area, so we continue our friendship meeting up every month or so for a run, coffee and gossip about our old school. Alanna never comes up in convo except when I ask how she is, and he says good, what she’s been up to, end of discussion.
Flash forward to present day, Kevin broke up with Alanna 2 weeks ago bc of undisclosed reasons (I never asked). Kevin is permanently leaving for the Air Force soon so he came up to Canberra so we could meet one last time, so we met up with a few other old guy friends and hung out. A few days later I post a photo dump on insta of activities and photos of my family and friends from the past month, on the very last slide is one of Kevin from that Canberra meet-up. Kevin messages me a few days after the post, saying that it was “extremely upsetting” for Alanna, and to take it down. He continues to say that he should’ve never hung out with me at all during his relationship, bc he did it seeking “validation” and “attention”, which is a wild fucking thing to say, and a bit of a punch to the gut tbh, bc im not a yes man, all I ever did was treat him like I treated all my female friends and I viewed our friendship as a genuine thing and not whatever he apparently sees it as. Anyways, he says “I’m not sure if I can talk to you for quite a while, you’ve been an incredible friend to me, and I hope that everything works out really well for you” which kinda makes it seem like im being cut off for being the toxic one?? And now im just confused, are we no longer friends? And should I be ok with that considering all our friendship was to him was a source of validation and attention? But I am genuinely curious, AITA for posting that photo?