I accidentally posted this to my username instead of my subreddit so here is is:
The Mortgage, Part 3
“Fuck,” I said as I drove to work in the old beater that only started on the fourth try because it could tell that I was pissed off. Ray’s case started at two o’clock, and I was heading to the office to get ready. “Fuck fuck fuckity fucking fuck. Fuck.” I’d wanted to tell Angela about Ray’s case, and how I was sorry that I hadn’t wanted to help him, but now I would, I would help him, and I would win, but then I’d gotten her all riled up on something else, something totally different, something way more serious.
My wife had given me a triple ultimatum: fix things up with her father, save idiot Ray from Sy-Co Corp., and somehow find a downpayment for the place she wanted to buy, in the little townhouse infill project in Bixity. It was like demanding I do a double bank shot, and then run over to the baseball diamond and hit a home run after first pointing to where it would land, Babe Ruth style.
Angela was mad at me, seriously mad. She’d slipped out that morning before I was even awake, sliding quietly past me on the couch. I didn’t realize she was gone until I heard the faint click of the front door closing. I jumped up, tripped over a blanket, and by the time I got up and my robe on, the elevator down the hall dinged, and Angela was gone before I opened the apartment door.
I swore at myself some more and pounded the steering wheel, “I fucked up,” I said, several times as I hit the wheel over and over again, until I accidentally honked it, and then looked all sheepish when the guy in front of me gave me the finger. I reached my office without further incident, but instead of walking in the front door, I went further down the hall, and into the office of Mark Cecil-Rowe, Barrister, LL.D, the man with the finest speaking voice I ever heard. When I entered his office I forgot for a minute about Angela and her father and sleeping on the couch the night before. I forget about everything, except the reason that I had come to Cecil-Rowe’s office: to stump him with a legal problem that I had solved, but which I was pretty sure he could not. In other words, I had come to preen and to brag and to boast. No one likes a showoff, and I had come to show off. I put my hand on the door and turned the knob. After a brief pause, I flung open the door.
“I’m a goddamn genius,” I said as I strolled into the older man’s office.
I noticed the echo of a hastily closed desk drawer hanging in the air. In Aaron’s office, where I rented space, a sudden act of concealment implied cocaine, but with Cecil-Rowe, the item in question was probably a mickey of vodka. I had the sense that he’d been drinking a bit before I arrived, but his powers of observation were unimpaired, and when he looked into my face, his expression showed sympathy, and actual pain.
“What have you done now?” he said, as set the papers before him to one side, and readied himself to hear my latest tale of legal brilliance.
“I’m a genius,” I said.
“Oh dear. Have a seat.”
“No really, I am. I’m a genius. I got this case that everyone says you can’t win, but I’m gonna win it, and when I do, I’m gonna look like a genius.” Cecil-Rowe gave me a sad indulgent smile.
“Whenever you tell me you’re a genius, I am always concerned about what is to follow. When you get wrapped up in what you call your genius, you tend to ignore the more mundane things we lawyers have to do to win a case. You think you’re going to win by genius alone.”
“Let me tell you why I’m a goddamn genius.” With effort I wiped the smug, self-satisfied expression that was on my face.
“Tell me why you’re a genius,” Cecil-Rowe said, “while I pour us a coffee.” He heaved his bulky body up from his chair and shuffled over to a counter. He picked up a carafe of hot coffee sitting on a hot plate, and poured two cups. “Speak,” he said, handing me one. I took a sip of the coffee, and told Cecil-Rowe the tale of Cousin Ray: his purchase of a franchise from Sy-Co Corp, its swift demise, the crash and burn in Commercial Court, the Minutes of Settlement, the seventy-one kilometer limit, and lastly, Sy-Co’s motion scheduled for two p.m. that very day, seeking an interim injunction shutting down Ray’s place.
Cecil-Rowe absorbed all this without the need to take notes. Instead, he sat back while he eyed me, taking the occasional sip of coffee, and smiling at the extravagant flourishes and details that brought out Ray’s story to full effect.
“Obviously Ray is dead on arrival,” he said, “but I guess this is the part where you tell me how you’re going to win.”
So I told him how I was going to win, but it didn’t have the desired effect. “I told ya I’m a genius, Mr. C,” cueing him to applaud, to admit what a brilliant lawyer I was. But there was no applause from Mark Cecil-Rowe. He looked at me without so much as a smile.
“You can cling to that genius notion as a consolation prize, after you get whipped this afternoon in court.”
“No way,” I said, “not a chance. I got this thing won hands down. I’m gonna kick ass in court today and--”
“And how exactly do you plan to do that, if you don’t have evidence?”
“What?”
“Evidence, Calledinthe9os. It’s what lawyers like me use to beat geniuses like you.”
“But I’m gonna win without proof. I don’t need proof. The argument I’m gonna make, relies on simple facts that are totally obvious, so the judge is gonna--” Cecil-Rowe stuck up his hand.
“Stop right there. I know what’s coming. You’re going to ask the judge to take *judicial notice.”
And he was right. That was exactly what I was going to do.
There are some things so obvious that you didn’t have to prove them, things that everyone knew. You didn’t have to prove that water froze at zero degrees and boiled at a hundred, or that Bixity was between West Bay and East Bay.
“You got it,” I said, “judicial notice all the way.”
“You’re going to tell the judge that the centerpiece of your argument, the lynchpin of your case is a fact known to pretty well everyone, and so you don’t need proof.”
“Exactly,” I said. Cecil-Rowe took another sip of his coffee, and left me hanging in the silence for a while before he spoke.
“If that’s true, then why does coming up with that argument make you a genius?”
“Oh, I said,”I didn’t think of that.”
“It is acceptable to rely on judicial notice for minor, ancillary points. But you never should walk into court thinking that the court will take judicial notice of your entire defence. It’s just too risky.”
“But how am I going to rustle up a witness in time for this afternoon?”
“Worry about that after you leave my office. I can’t help you with that. What I want to know, is why you’re doing this at the last minute.”
“What makes you think I’m doing this at the last minute?”
“Because you never would have resorted to judicial notice if you were properly prepared. If you’d opened this case a bit earlier, you’ve have everything lined up. But you got to work on it late, and so you want to rely on judicial notice. You’ve messed up, Calledinthe90s, and you know what my rule is when you mess up.” Cecil-Rowe didn’t extend aid to me, until I admitted the error of my ways. It was infuriating, but he was inflexible. So I fessed up.
“My idiot cousin Ray’s been trying to retain me for almost two weeks, but I was putting him off because I was mad at him. So now my wife’s mad at me, and if I don’t win this case, I’m dead. Plus her dad’s mad at me too and --” My brain roared into overdrive, a mess of family and law and fear, and at the centre of it, thoughts of Angela’s anger and her father. My mind took off, and then came to an instant halt at a helpful destination.
“Yes?” Cecil-Rowe said.
“Sorry. I just realized how to solve the evidence problem. Look, can I ask you about the thing I actually came here to ask you about?”
“You have a problem that’s worse than having no evidence? What could be worse than -- oh. You don’t have a retainer. Your client doesn't have any money.”
“Exactly. How do I get paid? That’s the problem.” I explained that Ray had no money, as in none, and that if he did have money, he wouldn’t spend it on me. Instead, he’d go back downtown and throw his cash at some big firm, who would take on his case, and proceed to lose it in a calm, careful, sober manner, ending in a reporting letter to Ray telling him that he’d lost.
“Now that’s a problem I can solve,” Cecil-Rowe said.
“Really? ‘Cause I can’t see a way around it. I think I’m gonna have to do this for free, and that really pisses me off.” Cecil-Rowe shook his head.
“You may or may not get paid, but you can set things up so that if you win, you’ll win pretty good.”
“How? Ray’s a deadbeat. Tapped out.”
“But is he desperate?”
“Totally. The first time he failed, he lost his own money, but if he goes under this time, he’s taking family money with him, and he’ll be the black sheep forever.”
“And he’s using family to emotionally blackmail you into helping him?’
“Like no shit. That’s the part that pisses me off the most. I’m like a goddamn slave, being forced to work for free.”
“Never fear, young apprentice. I have just the thing in mind.” He reached into a drawer, and pulled out a form. “Fill in the blanks, and have him sign.”
I looked it over, and saw that the document was a retainer agreement. I whistled. “Holy shit. If he signs this, he’s almost my slave.”
“Close, but not quite” Cecil-Rowe said, “the Latin term for this is "contractus pro venditione animae"”. It’s the ultimate retainer agreement. Once Ray signs that, you own any cause of action he has against the person suing him. You can settle the case on any terms you like, and you get to keep whatever proceeds there are.” Cecil-Rowe placed the folder back in a drawer, and from his manner you could tell that the interview was over.
“Awesome, Mr. C. I’ll call you from Commercial Court when we’re done.”
“Commercial Court?” he said.
“Yeah, Commercial Court.”
“This just keeps getting worse. Take notes, Calledinthe90s, while I school you on Commercial Court. Commercial Court is a jungle, and without preparation, you’ll get savaged.”
“That’s what happened to Ray when--”
“Take notes, young apprentice,” he said, tossing me a pad and a pen. He started to lecture, and I took notes that I have with me to this day, in a safe deposit box downstairs in the vault at Mega Bank Main Branch.
* * *
By the time Cecil-Rowe finished schooling me, it was close to ten, and the case started at two. I didn’t have much time. I ran down the hall to my office, and called Ray’s restaurant. No answer. Then I called Ray’s house. I expected to get Ray’s wife, but the man himself answered.
“You’re not at work. Why aren’t you at work?”
“Sy-Co Corp served all my employees with a cease and desist letter. They all got scared and took off. The place is shut down.”
“You gotta fax machine at home?” He did, and asked why.
“I’m taking your case, but only if you sign the paper I’m about to send and fax it back.” I sent the fax, and five minutes later it came back signed, and it was official: Ray had sold me his legal soul.
I went out to the parking lot, got into my beater and drove fast. In less than thirty minutes I reached my destination. I knocked on the door, and when it opened, my diminutive mother-in-law poked out her head. “What a pleasant surprise,” she said.
“Sorry, Mrs. M, but I’m in a super hurry. I gotta rush to get to court to help Ray. But first, I gotta speak to Dr. M.”
“He’s not here,” she said.
“Not here?”
“He’s on his way to his bridge game. He left just a few minutes ago.”
“Where’s the club?”
“He’s walking there,” she said, and pointed down the street.
“Thanks.” I got into my car and headed where Mrs. M had pointed, passing big houses and new project with an “Opening Soon” sign. And walking past it was the figure of Dr. M.
“Hey, Dr. M,” I called out the window. He stopped and looked around, startled. But he didn’t see me, not at first.
“It’s me, Dr. M. Me, Calledin90s.” He leaned forward as if to see me better. I got out of the car.
“Is something wrong with Angela? Or the baby?”
“No, no not at all, sorry to scare you, it’s nothing like that. I need your help.”
“Oh.” He started walking again, and now it was my turn to be a bit stunned, watching my father-in-law walk away from me. I caught up with him in a few quick strides.
“Listen, I really need your help.”
“And I really need to get to a bridge game.”
“This isn’t about me. It’s about Ray.” That brought him to a halt. He turned to me, angrier even than he’d been the night before.
“Did you drive all the way out here just to make fun of me? To remind me of how you won, distracting me with nonsense about Ray’s case?”
“I mean it,” I said, “I can win Ray’s case. I can prove it in a few words.”
“Prove it, then.” So I did. I spoke words, only a few words, but they were the right words to speak to Dr. M, for the words I spoke were in his language, words that he understood perfectly.
“I understand,” he said, “you’ve come to boast some more, to prove that you were right after all.”
“I want to win Ray’s case, but I don’t have any proof of what I’m saying.”
“You don’t need to prove that two plus two is four.”
“This, I gotta prove, and I need you to help me prove it. I need you to come to court with me, as my witness.”
“I can’t do that. I didn’t witness anything.”
“As my witness. My expert witness.” Unlike a normal witness, an expert witness can give an opinion. An expert is there not to advocate, I explained to Dr. M but to instruct, to teach.
“My bridge partner won’t be very happy,” he said.
“But Ray will, and so will Mrs. M and Angela and--”
“Very well. Do you have a cell phone? We can call the bridge club from my car.”
* * *
We were on the highway getting close to the downtown exit, when my wife called my cell phone. Back then cell phone service was super expensive and my wife only used it for emergencies. Or when she was really angry. I picked up the phone, wondering which it would be.
“I’m so happy that you made things up with my father,” she said.
“How did you know?”
“My mother called. She says you took him with you, that you went out together.”
“He’s with me right now,” I said.
“Where are you going?”
“To court. Going to court to win Ray’s case for him.”
“And you brought my father with you to watch?” She was so happy, I could hear in her voice that she was smiling. “That’s a great way to bond with him, Calledinthe90s. Look, I’m sorry I got so mad at you earlier, I really am. My dad’s a bit too sensitive and--”
“Sorry, Angela, your dad’s not coming to watch me.”
“Why is he with you, then?”
“He’s my witness,” I said.
“What?”
“His expert witness,” Dr. M said, loudly enough for Angela to hear.
My wife’s anger exploded into the phone. She wanted to know how I could expose her elderly, vulnerable father to the stress of a court case. I tried to tell her how I needed him, how there was literally no one else I could turn to, that her father was an expert, a true expert, and the judge was legally bound to believe him, but Angela heard none of this.
“Look,’ I said, “I promise you that--” And then I lowered the phone and pushed the red button, terminating the call. I’d learned that the best way to hang up on someone, was to do it when I was doing the talking. That way it looked like the call had dropped.
“I’m going to steal that move,” Dr. M said.
We rolled into the parking lot. I grabbed the cloth bag out of the back of my car, the bag that held my law robes and shirt and tabs, plus the other stuff I needed for court. It was one-thirty, still thirty minutes to go, not a lot of time to get robed and ready for court. It was just past one-forty five when I, with Dr. M in tow, opened the door to a courtroom on the eighth floor of an old insurance building that had been converted into a courthouse, the home of Commercial Court.
“Commercial Court is an exclusive club,” Cecil-Rowe had explained to me earlier that day, “the legal playground of the rich and powerful. They’ll know instantly that you’re not one of them.” And he was right. It was clear from the moment I walked in that I did not belong, for I was the only lawyer in robes. Everyone else was wearing a suit, and not some cheap thing off the rack like I wore.
There were a half-dozen lawyers present, and after they saw me, they exchanged knowing looks about the stranger amongst them. I ignored them, and walked up to the Registrar. I told him the case I was on, and he signed me in.
“First time in Commercial Court?” he said, eyeing my robes. “You know you don’t have to be robed in Commercial Court.” In other Superior Courts, you always had to bring your robes and get all dressed up. But Commercial Court had its own set of rules, and in the court for rich people, their lawyers did not have to wear robes.
“You’re here on the Sy-Co case?” a young woman asked. She was a junior like me, give a year or two either way. She was dressed in the finest downtown counsel fashion, some designer thing that Angela would know if she saw it.
“Just got retained,” I said.
“You know there’s no adjournments, right? We don’t do adjournments in Commercial Court. I’m just trying to be helpful, because I don’t think you've been here before. You know you don’t have to be robed, right?
“So I heard.”
“So where’s your material? You haven’t served anything, so how do you plan to argue your case?”
“I gotta witness,” I said.
She smiled. “There’s no viva voce evidence, either. Affidavit only.”
“We’ll see what the judge says.” There was a knock from the other side of the door to the judge’s chambers, and then the man himself entered.
I was amazed to see that even the judge wasn’t wearing a robe; instead, he was wearing a light coloured suit and a bright blue bow tie. He was dressed as good as the lawyers, all part of the downtown Commercial Court club, the playground of the richest and most powerful corporations in the City.
“Commercial Court’s not like other courts,” Cecil-Rowe told me earlier that day, explaining that most cases were over in fifteen minutes or less. A plaintiff showed up with some papers, and had a short consultation with the judge. The judge signed an order granting an injunction, or taking away a man’s business, or freezing his money. Commercial Court is where you went to get quick and simple court orders that eviscerated your opponent before the case even got going.
Defendants would appear sometimes in Commercial Court, Cecil-Rowe explained, but it was usually their last time up. Defendants always died a quick death in Commercial Court.
The judge took his seat, and then looked over the lawyers before him. His eyes moved along, and then stopped when they reached me, the one lawyer who was not like the others.
“You don’t need robes in Commercial Court,” the judge said to me.
“I’ll remember that for next time,” I said.
“What case are you on?”
I told him.
“He’s filed no responding materials,” my opponent said, “nothing at all.”
“I’m just vetting the list,” the judge said, “I’ll circle back to you two in a few minutes.” I listend while the judge vetted the rest of the afternoon list: a Mareva, plus a Norwich order, with counsel on those cases sent away in a matter of minutes.
Now the courtroom was almost empty, just the judge, two lawyers, the registrar and my star witness and father-in-law, Dr. M, who sat in the back of the courtroom dressed in an old business suit, put on hastily at his place two hours earlier, when I urged him to hurry it up, to not waste so much time on picking a suit.
“Back to you,” the judge said, addressing my opponent, “I thought this was an uncontested matter. That’s what your confirmation sheet said.”
“I’m sorry, Your Honour, but I didn’t know until I got here that the case was defended.”
“I got retained at the last minute,” I said, “barely three hours ago, the day after I read the papers. But I’m ready to go, ready to argue the case on the merits, so long as you grant me an indulgence, and let me call my witness, to let him testify in person instead of by affidavit, there being no time for me to draft anything.”
Opposing counsel was on her feet. “That’s not how things are done in Commercial Court,” she said, “or any court that I know of, for that matter. My friend (that’s what they make lawyers call each other in court, ‘my friend,’ even though you might hate the other guy’s guts),” the lawyer said, “my friend should have served his responding materials and filed them with the court. Instead, he’s taken us totally by surprise.”
“I’m sorry my friend is surprised by opposition,” I said, “but then consider, it’s my client’s livelihood that’s at stake. If my friend gets her injunction, Ray Telewu’s business is dead, and he loses everything. So yes, my client opposes the injunction, and yes, I’d like to call evidence.”
The judge didn’t consult the papers before him nor the books, but instead, he looked up at the big white clock on the courtroom wall. Its hands said two-fifteen.
“How long will your witness take, counsel?”
“In chief, ten minutes.” I’d practiced with Dr. M on the way in, and I was pretty sure he could do it in five, but I gave him a bit of extra time, just in case.
“We’ve got about two hours,” the judge said, “but I want to be fair to you and your client. Let’s take a fifteen minute recess so you can get instructions. Either we go ahead today with viva voce evidence, or we adjourn, and that will give Calledinthe90s time to file responding materials.”
When everyone came back, the junior’s boss was there, Senior Counsel, a heavy weight, one of those big guys downtown. Plus they brought this guy from Sy-Co Corp, the head of some bullshit division, with some bullshit title, Head of whatever, so that’s the title I’ll give him here. He was The Head. He was the man, the big cheese, the signer of the affidavit on which Sy-Co relied that day.
“What’s he doing here?” I asked Senior Counsel.
He stared at me, all lean and steel grey, looking every inch the hard hitting lawyer that commanded the biggest fees. “If you’re calling a live witness, then so can we. The Head will give evidence today, in advance of your client, so that the judge hears it from him first.” His junior smirked at me, and the two of them sat down, delighted that they’d thought of a way to one up me.
Except that they’d done it by exposing their client to cross-examination. The judge came in, allowed the Head to testify, and when he was done, I stood up.
“Just a few questions,” I said. Senior Counsel was stunned for an instant, and then he stood.
“This serves no purpose, Your Honour. The witness has confirmed the simple facts of his affidavit, and there’s no disputing it. Ray Telewu opened a restaurant less than seventy-one kilometres from Bixity City Hall, and that’s in breach of the Minutes of Settlement he signed.”
I did not bother to respond. Instead, I just stood, and I started to ask questions.
“Have a look at that map in your affidavit,” I said, and he did. I picked up my copy, and tore the map out of it. I passed it up to him.
“What do you notice about this map?”
“That it’s accurate,” the Head said, repeating his evidence in chief, amplifying it, talking about how the map contained perfect measurement.
“You will notice that the map is flat,” I said, laying it on the witness box before him.
“Of course it’s flat. That’s what maps are. Maps are flat.”
“But the earth is round,” I said, “or more properly, a sphere.” Senior Counsel was on his feet in an instant.
“What difference does that make?” he said.
“What you’ll hear from my expert witness, is that a flat map cannot accurately show Earth’s curves. A flat map distorts distances, and in this case, reduces them.”
“But that can’t be by very much.”
“In this case, by just over twenty meters,” Dr. M said from the back of the court.
“That’s my expert witness, the esteemed Dr. M.” I didn’t actually say Dr. M. Instead, I said his real name. But I’m not going to use the real names of my family here, so I’ll just keep calling him Dr. M. “Dr. M was a professor of Physics at the University of Bixity for almost thirty years. He has published numerous papers on particle physics, and is the first Canadian winner of the Wolf Prize for physics.”

• * * *

It went downhill after that for Sy-Co Corp. My father-in-law testified, explaining in simple language, language that even a child could understand, that the Earth was a sphere, that the shortest distance between two points on Earth was a curve, not a straight line. He summarized his calculations in plain English, dumbing down the math, so that everyone present imagined, if only for the moment, that they shared his understanding of a difficult mathematical equation.
Senior Counsel tried to cross-examine Dr. M, but it did not go well, my father-in-law indulging him, gently chiding him, continuing his explanations until the lawyer sat down, defeated by Dr. M’s mastery of the subject,his own lack of preparation and his inability to improvise. When counsel said that he had no further questions, the judge addressed us all.
“I’m not going to reserve, and I don’t think I need to tell everyone why. I think it will take about a minute for me to write a decision saying that the Earth is not flat. I’ll give you some more time after that, but after fifteen minutes, I”ll be back to render my decision.” He rose, everyone bowed, and he disappeared behind the door to judge’s chambers.
I pulled a piece of paper out of my file, and slammed it on the desk before Senior Counsel and his junior. “Fill in the blanks, and sign,” I said.
Dr. M’s head shot up at the commotion, and he shuffled over to see what was going on.
“What’s this?” Senior Counsel said, picking up the paper I gave him..
“Minutes of Settlement. You fill in a number, a big number, for the costs you gotta pay me. Your client signs, and then we’re done.” Senior Counsel opened his mouth to bargain, but I overrode him.
“You know your client’s going to lose; the judge made that obvious. Hurry up if you want to settle; we don’t have much time.”
At the end of most Canadian court cases, the loser has to pay at least part of the winner’s legal fees. That’s the way it’s been since forever, and I think it’s a good rule. Sy-Co Corp had lost, so it had to pay a good chunk of Ray’s costs, and Ray’s costs were somewhere between whatever bullshit figure I claimed they were, and where they actually ought to be. Senior Counsel took the paper over to his client. There was a brief discussion, and then they came back, with the form signed, and a number written in the blank space.
I’ll give it to Sy-Co Corp and their lawyer. It wasn’t a bullshit number, a low ball number. They gave me a real number, a number more like something I’d actually accept, a number that made sense to pay me in costs, in light of the success I’d had, and how I got it. It was a respectful number, a common sense number, and I appreciated it an awful lot.
I tossed the paper back at them.
“Add a zero,” I said, continuing on when Senior Counsel blanched, and his junior retreated a step. “I know what’s going on here. Your client sold mine a bullshit franchise, one with a history of failing.” The franchise had opened up again under a new owner not long after Ray had lost it and then it promptly failed again. Like I said at the start of this story, it’s an old story. It’s how some franchise companies make money. “Your client makes more money selling bullshit franchises doomed to fail, then it does from the honest ones that make money. So add a zero to that number, or Ray’s gonna sue you, class action and all that, for all the people you’ve fucked.”
The Head stepped forward from the benches and spoke to me.
“We get threats like that all the time, but no one follows through. They don’t have the money to fight us, and neither does your client. So go ahead and sue.”
“It’s true that Ray doesn’t have jack shit,” I said, “not a pot to piss in, but he’s my cousin, Ray is, and even if he doesn’t have money, he’s got me. Ray’s family, and for Ray, I’ll sue you guys for free. Hell, I’ll even pay the expenses. Plus I’m gonna put a jury notice in, too, come to think of it, ‘cause juries--”
Senior Counsel cut me off, and moved his client to the back of the courtroom. There was a brief discussion, and then they came back. I watched as Senior Counsel wrote a single digit on the Minutes, a zero, written right where I wanted it.
“You’ll have to initial the change,” I said to the Head of Sy-C0, and it gave me great satisfaction to watch him sign.
“Don’t forget,” I said the moment his pen stopped moving, “for the settlement to be valid, I need to get the money today. Right now.”
“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” the Head said.
“Not if you want the settlement to stay in place. I’ll follow you back to your office, and you can put a cheque in my hands.”

• * * *

“What’s this?” my wife said when I entered the apartment later that day, after I’d driven Dr. M home, stopping first at a local pub for beers.
“It’s an absurdly expensive bunch of flowers,” I said, “although no flowers, however beautiful, however expensive, could expiate my--”
She took the flowers, and gave a kiss.
“My mom called. She told me what happened. You fixed things with my dad.”
“Yup,” I said. I had certainly done that. I’d made Dr. M a professor again, if only for a few minutes. Not only a professor, but an expert witness. The judge had declared him an expert in plain terms and Dr.M had beamed when he’d heard those words.
“And you won Ray’s case, too. But my mom didn’t know how, and I don’t know how you did it either.”
“I’ll tell you over dinner tonight,” I said.
“But we agreed no more dinners out; we have to save money, now that a baby’s coming.”
I passed her the envelope that I’d received a few hours before. She opened it, and took out a cheque, a cheque drawn up for an amount I specified, made payable to Mr. and Mrs. Calledinthe90s.
The moment I got that cheque, all I could think about was how my wife would react when I put it into her hands. I could not wait to see her eyes bulge, to hear her voice say “oh my god,” to hear her laugh.
She did none of these things. Instead, she cried.
“Does this mean we can buy a house?” The money wouldn’t be enough to buy a house, not nowadays, with prices being so crazy. But things were different back then in the 90s. Sure, the internet was barely a thing and cell phones were super expensive and a lot of things sucked, but I’ll give the nineties one thing: houses were cheap.
“I think so,” I said.

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"Miljoenen groeispurt voor Singaporese online gigant, dit is waarom!"
Singapore's Sea Group heeft afgelopen kwartaal een indrukwekkende groei doorgemaakt, met een omzetstijging van maar liefst 147% ten opzichte van vorig jaar. Dit was ruim boven de verwachtingen van analisten, wat aangeeft dat het goed gaat met de online gigant uit Singapore. Maar wat is de reden achter deze groeispurt? In dit artikel duiken we dieper in op het succes van Sea Group en de factoren die hebben bijgedragen aan deze indrukwekkende prestatie.
De online markt in Singapore is de afgelopen jaren exponentieel gegroeid. Dit heeft grotendeels te maken met de toenemende populariteit van online shoppen. Steeds meer mensen verkiezen het gemak van online winkelen boven het fysiek bezoeken van winkels. Dit is ook terug te zien in de cijfers van Sea Group, waar de omzet van de e-commerce tak met maar liefst 210% is gestegen ten opzichte van vorig jaar. Dit is een duidelijke indicatie dat de online markt in Singapore nog steeds in de lift zit.
Een andere belangrijke factor die heeft bijgedragen aan het succes van Sea Group is de diversificatie van haar activiteiten. Naast de e-commerce tak, is Sea Group ook actief in de gaming en digitale financiële dienstverlening. Deze diversificatie zorgt voor een stabiele inkomstenstroom en maakt het bedrijf minder afhankelijk van eventuele schommelingen in één specifieke markt. Dit heeft in het afgelopen kwartaal bijgedragen aan de sterke financiële resultaten van Sea Group.
Een ander interessant aspect van Sea Group is haar focus op de Zuidoost-Aziatische markt. Het bedrijf is niet alleen actief in Singapore, maar ook in andere landen in de regio zoals Indonesië en Thailand. Met een potentieel van meer dan 650 miljoen inwoners, biedt deze markt enorme groeikansen voor Sea Group. Dit wordt ook bevestigd door het feit dat de omzet van het bedrijf in deze regio met maar liefst 150% is gestegen ten opzichte van vorig jaar.
Naast deze factoren, heeft Sea Group ook geprofiteerd van de groeiende populariteit van haar online platform Shopee. Dit platform biedt een breed assortiment aan producten en trekt steeds meer gebruikers aan. Ook heeft Sea Group geïnvesteerd in marketingcampagnes om Shopee meer bekendheid te geven onder het grote publiek. Deze strategie heeft zeker bijgedragen aan de sterke groei van het bedrijf.
Al met al is het succes van Sea Group vooral te danken aan haar slimme strategie en focus op groeimarkten. Met een sterke positie in de online markt en een divers aanbod van producten en diensten, heeft het bedrijf zich weten te onderscheiden van haar concurrenten. Het is dan ook geen verrassing dat Sea Group de verwachtingen van analisten heeft overtroffen en dat de toekomst er rooskleurig uitziet voor dit Singaporese online powerhouse.
Bronnen: - https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2024-05-14/singapore-s-sea-tops-estimates-as-online-shoppers-boost-spending - https://www.straitstimes.com/business/e-commerce-platform-shopee-to-expand-to-indonesia - https://www.straitstimes.com/business/companies-markets/sea-turns-diversification-into-strong-q1-results
https://itinsights.nl/2024/05/15/miljoenen-groeispurt-voor-singaporese-online-gigant-dit-is-waarom/
https://itinsights.nl/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/IT_Insights_Image_BB67.png

I previously did a post asking what topics you would like to see covered in the minisodes, and a pretty popular topic was domestication, especially since it would make a nice follow-up to the finale.
Here's what I predict will come up in the domestication minisodes.

• Obviously agriculture. The neotects don't have sweet taste receptors so I doubt they'll farm fruit, BUT I can see them farming various brachyphyte species to produce extremely large and fleshy bulbs, like humans did with carrots, onions and potatoes.
• You know how chili peppers evolved their capsaicin to ward off mammals, but humans enjoyed having their mouths burned and started farming them to be even spicier? Imagine a Tiran equivalent of those peppers, like a plant that developed an unpleasant toxin the neotects enjoyed the sensation of.
• We may get a social predatory xenopsid that hunts alongside the neotects much like dogs did with humans, though it would also be comparable to the cooperative hunting of moray eels and groupers, or coyotes and badgers.
• We may also get a cat analogue that hung out around the neotects' homes before being kept around for pest control purposes (also like those frogs tarantulas keep in their burrows to ward off ants). Out of all of these, the apodomorphs seem like a likely candidate, since the neotects would find them adorable due to their resemblance to their grubs.
• There would be multiple types of livestock the neotects keep for their meat. I could see them also farming a type of procaecoform for their regurgitated food, much like humans with dairy cattle (or ants with aphids and caterpillars), along with a type of herbivorous xenopsid like the teleopsids for their fur, much like humans with sheep. Maybe they'll also be used for transportation, like with horses, or carrying heavy loads like oxen.
• As time goes on, the neotects may selectively breed some of their domesticated animals to look cuter, giving them stubby limbs, long bodies, and small eyes to resemble their grubs. Bib could also go into the health issues this overbreeding will cause, much like with pugs.

Let me know in the comments if you have any other predictions!

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Kidnap (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Kimi (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75
Kin (2018) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Krampus (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.75
Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016) (MA/HD) $3
La La Land (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.25 (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Labor Day (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Lady and the Tramp (1955) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.75
Last Duel, The (2021) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $4
Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $7
Last Witch Hunter (2015) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
Lawrence of Arabia (Restored Version) (1962) (MA/HD) $5
Legend of Hercules (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3
Leon: The Professional (Extended Cut) (1994) (MA/4K) $6.50
Life (2017) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $2.50
Lighthouse (Vudu/HD) $6
Lightyear (2022) (MA/4K) $4.75 (MA/HD) $2.50 (GP/HD) $1.75
Lilo & Stitch (2002) & Stitch Has a Glitch (2005) (MA/HD) $9.50 (GP/HD) $5.50
Lion King (1994) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.75
Lion King 2: Simba's Pride (1998) (MA/HD) $6.25
Little Monsters (1989) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Little Women (2019) (MA/HD) $5.50
Live Die Repeat: Edge Of Tomorrow (2014) (MA/4K) $5.50
Lone Ranger (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Lone Survivor (2013) (MA/4K) $6.25 (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $1.50
Longest Ride (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $1.25
Looper (2012) (MA/HD) $2.75
Lords of Salem, The (2012) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Lost City, The (2022) (Vudu/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Love, Simon (2018) (MA/HD) $2.75
Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile (2022) (MA/HD) $4.25
M3GAN + Unrated (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Ma (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Madagascar Collection 1-4 (MA/HD) $15
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977) (MA/HD) $6.50
Marksman, The (2021) (MA/HD) $5
Marlowe (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Martian - Extended Cut (2015) (MA/4K) $7.75 (MA/HD) $5.25
Martian (Theatrical) (2015) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3
Mary Queen of Scots (2018) (MA/HD) $6
Maze Runner Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $14.50
McFarland, USA (2015) (MA/HD) $6 (GP/HD) $4.50
Meg 2: The Trench (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Meg Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $8.50
Memory (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Men (2022) (Vudu/HD) $5
Men in Black (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Men in Black Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $14.50
Mickey & Friends 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 2 (2023) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $5
Mickey & Minnie 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 1 (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.75
Midnight Meat Train (Unrated Director's Cut) (2008) (Vudu/HD) $5
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) & Minions (2015) (MA/HD) $7.25
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2
Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7
Mission: Impossible Collection 1-6 (iTunes/4K) $20 (Vudu/HD) $18
Mitchells Vs. The Machines (2021) (MA/HD) $4.25
Monster Hunter (2020) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4
Monster's Ball (2001) (Vudu/HD) $6
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (1983) (MA/4K) $6.75
Moonfall (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.75
Morbius (2022) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3
Mortal Kombat Legends: Cage Match (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5.50
Mud (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Mulan 2 (2005) (MA/HD) $3.75
My Fair Lady (1964) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
My Girl (1991) & 2 (1994) (MA/SD) $6.50
Natural, The (1984) (MA/4K) $6
Never Grow Old (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
News of the World (2020) (MA/HD) $3.50
Night at the Museum 3-Movie (MA/HD) $11.50 (MA/SD) $8
Night Before (2015) (MA/HD) $4.50
Nightmare Alley (2021) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
No Country For Old Men (2007) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
No Hard Feelings (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Nope (2022), Get Out (2017) & Us (2019) (MA/HD) $9
Northman (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.75
Now You See Me 1-2 (Vudu/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $6.50
Nun 2 (2023) (MA/HD) $6
Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $3
Oliver! (1968) (MA/4K) $6.50
Olympus Has Fallen (2013) (MA/HD) $5
Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7
Oppenheimer (2023) (MA/HD) $7
Other Guys, The (2010) (MA/4K) $6.50
Ouija (2014) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Outfit (2022) (MA/HD) $7
Over the Hedge (2006) (MA/HD) $6.50
Overboard (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Oz the Great and Powerful (2013) (MA/HD) $2 (GP/HD) $1
Pacific Rim Uprising (2018) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.25
Pain & Gain (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
ParaNorman (2012) (iTunes/HD) $5
Paul (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.25
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015) (MA/HD) $3.75
PAW Patrol: The Mighty Movie (2023) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010) (MA/HD) $6.75
Peter Rabbit (2018) & 2 (2021) (MA/HD) $7.50
Peter Rabbit 2 (2021) (MA/HD) $4
Philadelphia (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Philadelphia (1993) (MA/4K) $8
Pitch Perfect Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $11.50
Pixels (2015) (MA/HD) $5.50
Plane (2023) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5
Planet of the Apes 1-3 (Newer) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $10
Pocahontas (1995) (MA/HD) $6.25
Poms (2019) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Pope's Exorcist (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Power Rangers (2017) (iTunes/4K) $3 (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Pretty in Pink (1986) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Prey for the Devil (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016) (MA/HD) $6
Prince of Egypt (2002) (MA/HD) $5.50
Proud Mary (2018) (MA/HD) $4
Psycho (1960) (MA/HD) $4.50
Purge, The (2013) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
Puss in Boots (2011) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Raid Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $11.50
Rambo Collection 1-5 (Vudu/HD) $12.50
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Ratatouille (2007) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Red (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Red Dawn (2012) (Vudu/HD) $5.25 (iTunes/SD) $2
Red Sparrow (2018) (MA/HD) $4
Red Violin, The (1998) (Vudu/HD) $5
Replicas (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5
Reservoir Dogs (1992) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Riddick Collection 1-3 (Unrated) (MA/HD) $13.50
Ride Along 1-2 (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5 $2.75 Each
Rings (2017) (Vudu/HD) $2.75 (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2010) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.75
Risen (2016) (MA/HD) $4.50
Room (2015) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Rudy (Director's Cut) (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Rumble (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Runner Runner (2013) (MA/HD) $3.25
Saint Maud (2020) (Vudu/HD) $6
Same Kind of Different as Me (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2
Saw (2004) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Saw Collection 1-7 (Vudu/HD) $9.75
Scarface (1983) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5
Scary Movie Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13.50
Scream 5 (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Scream 6 (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Scream Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13.50
Searching (2018) (MA/HD) $6.50
Secret Headquarters (2022) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Secret Life of Pets Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $7.25
Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013) (MA/HD) $2
Semper Fi (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.25
Sessions (2012) (MA/HD) $4.25
Sex Tape (2014) (MA/HD) $2.75
Shack (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Shang-Chi (2021) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.75
Shape of Water (2017) (MA/HD) $3.25
Shaun the Sheep Movie (2015) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
She's Having a Baby (1988) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Shrek the Third (2007) (MA/HD) $6
Shutter Island (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Sicario: Day of the Soldado (2018) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $3.75
Sick (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75
Silent Night, Deadly Night: 3-Film Collection (1989-1991) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014) (Vudu/HD) $6
Sing Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $6
Singin' in the Rain (1952) (MA/4K) $6
Sisters (Unrated) (2015) (MA/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Slender Man (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Smile (2022) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Smokey and the Bandit (1977) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.50
Smokin' Aces (2007) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Snowden (2016) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/HD) $4
Social Network (2010) (MA/4K) $6.50
Son of a Gun (2015) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Son of God (2014) (MA/HD) $1.50
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022) (Vudu/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Space Between Us, The (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Spell (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5
Spider-Man Collection 1-8 (MA/HD) $26
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.50
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Spirit Untamed: The Movie (2021) (MA/HD) $5.50
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2003) (MA/HD) $4.75
Spotlight (2015) (MA/HD) $5 (iTunes/HD) $3
Spy Who Dumped Me (2018) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Stand Up Guys (2012) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Star Trek Beyond (2016) (Vudu/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $3.25
Star Trek Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) $9.50 (iTunes/4K) $13.50
Starship Troopers (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Stoker (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50
Straight Outta Compton (Unrated Director’s Cut) (2015) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Strange World (2022) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $4.25
Stuber (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Studio 666 (2022) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $6.25
Suburbicon (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Suffragette (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3
Super Mario Bros Movie (2023) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $5.50
Super Troopers (2002) (MA/HD) $5.50
SW: Empire Strikes Back (1980) (MA/4K) $7 (GP/HD) $3.50
SW: Rise of Skywalker (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.25
SW: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $1.25
Sword in the Stone (1963) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
T2 Trainspotting (2017) (MA/HD) $7
Tag (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50
Taken Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $9
Talk to Me (2023) (Vudu/4K) $6.50
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) (MA/4K) $6.50
Tar (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Taxi Driver (1976) (MA/4K) $6.50
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Thanksgiving (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Think Like a Man (2012) & Too (2014) (MA/HD) $8.50
Thor (2011) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $7 (GP/HD) $3.50
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.25 (GP/HD) $2
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) (MA/HD) $3.50
Ticket to Paradise (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Till (2022) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Titanic (1997) (Vudu/4K) $6.50 (Vudu/HD) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) $6
Top Gun (1986) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Total Recall (1990) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Trading Places (1983) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Training Day (2001) (MA/4K) $6
Transformers 1-5 (Vudu/4K) $25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $23
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6
Trauma Center (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.25
Trolls (2016) (MA/HD) $1.25
Trolls Band Together (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Trolls Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $5.75
True Story (2015) (MA/HD) $5.25
Tully (2018) (MA/HD) $5
Turbo (2013) (MA/HD) $2.50 (iTunes/SD) $1
Turning Red (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $2.50
Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.75
Uncharted (2022) (MA/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $3.25
Uncle Drew (2018) (Vudu/4K) $6 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Uncut Gems (2019) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Underwater (2020) (MA/HD) $5.50
Underworld: Awakening (2012) (MA/HD) $1.75
Unhinged (2020) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Up (2009) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Usual Suspects, The (1995) (Vudu/HD) $6
Vertigo (1958) (MA/HD) $4.75
Vice 'Christian Bale' (2018) (MA/HD) $4.75
Violent Night (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Vivo (2021) (MA/HD) $4
Walking with Dinosaurs (2013) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
WALL-E (2008) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Walt Disney Animation Studios Shorts Collection (2015) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.75
War of the Worlds (1953) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Waves (2019) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Whale, The (2022) (Vudu/HD) $6
When the Bough Breaks (2016) (MA/HD) $4.50
Where the Crawdads Sing (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Whiplash (2014) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
White Boy Rick (2018) (MA/HD) $5
Widows (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $2
Winter's Bone (2010) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Witch, The (2016) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Woman King (2022) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $4
World War Z (2013) (Vudu/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/4K) $4.50
Wraith, The (1986) (Vudu/HD) $5
X (2022), Hereditary (2018), Witch, The (2016), Green Room (2015), It Comes at Night (2017) (Vudu/HD) $14
X-Men (2000), X2 (2003), X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) (MA/HD) $14
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.25
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019) (MA/HD) $6
X-Men: First Class (2010), Days of Future Past (2004), Apocalypse (2014) (MA/HD) $10.50
Yesterday (2019) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.75
Zombieland (2009) (MA/4K) $7.25
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $5.25
Zookeeper's Wife, The (2017) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4

hi, I recently got the game with all dlcs from amazon, and theres so many bugs in the game (I play on switch), none of the bugs ever bothered me, I even think it's funny but theres this 1 mission that I cant get through, "follow the traces", where you follow gabriel to find his sister or something
I concluded the mission and it tells me to see gabriel in front of this little river where the old guy(forgot his name but hes the guy you see at harbor at the breeding stable), the pointer tells me to go there and as I get there nothing happens, I saw a gameplay where he has a dialog when you get there but nothing seems to hppen, also, gabriel is not on top of his horse, it's just the horse hanging around :(
is there anyway to fix this? I cant move on with the game if I dont do that mission..... I tried dleleting the game and reinstalling it but didnt work, do I gotta restart everything from 0? tia

Because football and the video games that aim to virtualize it have always been about competition, merit, tactics, outsmarting your opponent, accomplishment, and ultimately, the reward. The thrill of crafting the perfect strategy, the satisfaction of honing your skills, and the excitement of seeing your hard work pay off on the virtual pitch were what made the old PES series, especially PES 2013, so captivating. But today, with games like eFootball and FC24, it feels like these core principles have been pushed aside in favor of monetization schemes that allow players to bypass the essence of the game entirely.
In eFootball and FC24, you can receive rewards without even needing to play the game, simply by spending money. This undermines the entire concept of competition and merit. Legendary players, who should be rare and symbolize a player's dedication and skill, are now accessible to anyone willing to open their wallet. In the old PES days, having a legendary player in your squad was a badge of honor, a sign that you had achieved something remarkable through skill and perseverance.
Maybe it's because I'm an older player and my values are different, with higher standards (no offense meant) than what I see in this generation of video game players. I remember playing PES 2013 Master League for countless hours. Back in the golden age of PES, to keep and maintain a squad of the best players in the game, you needed to reach at least the quarterfinals of a competition regularly. Each match was a test of your abilities, and each victory felt earned. The grind was real, but it was also rewarding.
Today in eFootball, the experience is starkly different. Instead of fostering a community of players who respect each other and enjoy the competition, the game seems to breed toxicity. All too often, the messages I receive are offensive, sent by spoiled kids who can't handle a loss. They lack the sportsmanship to acknowledge a good game and often resort to insults whether they win or lose. In the past, most of the messages we PES players exchanged were to congratulate each other with a simple "GG" for the good match we played. There was a mutual respect that made the online community a much more pleasant place to be.
This decline in community spirit and the shift away from rewarding genuine skill is disheartening. The joy of outsmarting an opponent with a well-timed strategy or the thrill of scoring a goal after a meticulously built-up play has been overshadowed by the ease with which success can be bought. The games today feel more like a business transaction than a test of football acumen.
Furthermore, the move to mobile gaming and the focus on microtransactions have diluted the experience even more. I doubt this makes any sense to someone who plays on a mobile phone. The depth, the tactics, the thrill of a full 90-minute match – these are elements that are hard to replicate on a mobile device. The PC and console versions offered an immersive experience that mobile games just can't match.
Back in the days of PES 2013, the gameplay was rich and nuanced. Every decision on the field mattered, and every match felt like a new challenge. There was a sense of accomplishment when you finally managed to sign that elusive star player or led your team to victory in a hard-fought league. Today, it feels like the heart and soul of football gaming have been stripped away in favor of quick, easy, and purchasable gratification.
I could keep going, but I think I've made my point. The golden age of PES was about skill, strategy, and respect. Today's games, unfortunately, seem to have lost sight of these values. PC Master Race (I'm kidding, but also kind of not).

My son is in town for a few weeks, and I'm going to run a few sessions with him and my wife as players. We narrowed his preference down to the above criteria. Normally, I do a worldbuilding session and then let the plot emerge from player choices, but because this will be so short, I'd like to start with a published adventure as a framework or for inspiration. I'll modify or just steal elements from it to make it work for us.
I'm looking for something dark, maybe just gritty or maybe with horror elements. Aside from published adventures, plot ideas are also welcome. It should take place in a city...no overland travel etc. Game system doesn't matter. I'll be running it in the "Eyes Beyond the Torchlight" system, and on-the-fly conversion is easy for it.
The characters are a half-orc former street urchin, now a member of a criminal gang and follower of a god of war who is finding moral conflict in his lifestyle...and a half elf apprentice mage, also an outcast from society for being a half-breed.

Obviously the game is amazing, I don't mean to reduce that at all, just voicing what I feel.
Chronos seems a bit over-tuned (maybe skill issue but i've beaten him several times and it always either feels stupidly easy bc i'm op, or way too hard)
Eris has a lot of attacks that are very hard to dodge if shes standing in fire (and she is always standing in fire), but is also literally the weakest npc in the game if you have the "destroys projectiles and scorches target while sprinting" boon. That feels like its maybe not the best design?
I think the hardest boss in the game outside of Chronos is any sort of difficulty scaled Polyphemus, and it doesn't feel close. It's probably a skill issue but a lot of his attacks are a few frame reaction times, the charging sheep modifier is insanely brutal, and the stomp waves often just hit me despite what looks like a good dodge through them.
Scylla is a super fun fight
Charybdis and Hecate could probably be significantly harder.
as for enemies, anything that's so fast it feels like it ignores casts are such a vibe killer, and the shriekers in the first area of erebus are the creature responsible for the most dmg i've taken in 25 hours i'm sure of it.
some builds (skulls and some axe mods especially) feel like they get TURBO punished by the millions of rapidly spawning harpoon fish if you can't attack quick enough.

I was talking about this with a friend last week and it really got me thinking.
In 2024, we are surrounded by technology of all kinds. And for many of you reading this, your formative years were shaped by this technology.
As a middle millennial in his early 30s, I've seen the world pre and post-technological advances.
I saw what it was like when smartphones exploded onto the scene. I saw what it was like when "everybody" said you just "had" to be on social media. I saw when people were embracing these things wholesale because technology = progress.
Or at least, that's what we all collectively thought back in the 2010s.
My 20s were largely in the 2010s and I saw many of my friends and peers fall into varying degrees of Internet addiction, social media addiction, gaming addiction and so forth.
I myself had varying degrees of addiction to varying things and I can say without a doubt that it has made me less successful than I could have been.
I have a great life now, I make great money, I date great women. But I can only trace that to being willing to disconnect from technology for extended periods of time. If I did it a lot sooner, I would have probably been on my path of success a lot sooner.
I realized this but I didn't want to do it when I first realized it. It took me several more years of pain and frustration that I had to ask myself "am I really spending my time wisely?" And the answer to that question was a flat out "NO". I wasn't spending time on the things that would really increase my life.
Instead, I spent it on chronic gaming, chronic fapping, chronic scrolling, chronic being an NPC in my own life.
And you might say "I can have these things without having to give up my devices". And probably you might be. You might be one of those people who just happens to stroll right into having a good life, like someone walking into a hotel lobby.
But you cannot deny the fact that it is too easy to spend days of your life doing nothing but clicking, scrolling, watching, etc.
And life is not on your screen. It's not in your little comfortable room where you're surrounded by you being able to push a button and get what you want for the moment.
Because when you are so accustomed to getting what you want in real time, it erodes your ability to get and do things in real life.
Your social skills lag. Your ability to resolve conflicts lag. Your dating abilities lag. Your ability to read and comprehend dense material lags. Your ability to participate in the larger world around you lags. So many things are affected by your unrestricted use of technology.
You essentially breed weakness in yourself.
My suggestion is to limit your technological interaction to such a degree where you are FORCED to do things in the real world.

• Limit your social media use or delete your accounts.
• Stop getting notifications on your phone from random things/people/activities.
• Don't spend an entire day texting back and forth.
• Don't spend all day on Reddit or other "social media-lite" platforms.
• Limit or eliminate your video game usage.
• Stop watching and interacting with news.
• Limit or eliminate your Netflix/Hulu/Disney+/Whatever watching time.
• Don't go down rabbit holes searching for useless trivia online.
• Limit or eliminate your use of online "adult content".
• Get rid of various apps on your phone.
• Don't pull out your phone in line and scroll a social media feed.

So many ways to put a wall between you and technology, which will suck up your time and return little if nothing back.
Instead, engage in real life.
Yes, it is scary. Yes it is anxiety-inducing.
But this is how humans have lived ever since our ancestors were in small tribes.
Life is an anxiety-inducing affair. Things don't always go your way. You may have to wait before you do something or achieve something. You will most likely have to work hard to get the things you want in life. You will have to communicate and express yourself properly if you want to get your needs met. You will have to step outside your comfort zone.
Life is not something you can be shielded from or coddled away from. It is something that must be lived and faced everyday.
And your ability to live well in 2024 will be detrimentally affected by how fixated and addicted you are to technology.

I’d like some advice. I live on a 30 acre farm, I have two long time dogs, a 4 year old male (fixed) shih tzu mix that is a rescue and an 9 year old male English lab (fixed) from a breeder. We bought the farm with a family that had no dogs. While here they adopted a 12 month old female English Mastiff (in August they will be spayed) The Lab and the Mastiff are fantastic together except for a little rough playing. They both tend to play bite each other on the back of the neck/cheek but stop quickly when we stop them and they so all kinds of affection for each other. Honestly I love the mastiff even it’s the other families pet.
However the Shih tzu is a little asshole (my wife’s dog), he has come so far but he fairly often will nip at the checks of both dogs though rarely with the lab. It was a rough integration with those two but Zeke our Lab is an amazingly great dog and just ignores the other. The Mastiff for the most part is following the Lab in training. My concern is what will happen once the Mastiff reaches adulthood. I’m not familiar with Mastiff’s as I’ve always had hunting breeds (Labs, Beagles, GWP’s, for over 30 years with those breeds). This is rarely resource guarding, mostly it’s about attention. Our plan is to only introduce them on walks outside the house and to work with positive reinforcement to ignore each other. To be clear the Shih Tzu is 18 lbs and the Mastiff is 130 lbs. If the Mastiff has had enough that’s the end of the little asshole. I want to avoid that at all costs but it will be very difficult to rehome either dog. Both are crate trained and feed separate. Both get walks and attention daily. I’m very experienced in dog training for hunting but both are unfamiliar breeds to me. The Shih Tzu rushes to nips when it happens, the Mastiff keeps her distance when told to, she is a pretty great dog so far.
I’d like to correct the Shih Tzu’s behavior, especially because we are interested in a livestock guardian dog to guard our chickens and sheep.

A new Camp and Chill Event starts today!
This 2 day event will run from Tuesday, May 14 until 19:00 GMT Thursday, May 16, and is open to all players with version 11.3.0 or above, a minimum of 250 dragon power, and a stable and reliable internet connection.
Points are earned by tapping items, opening chests, and other simple tasks completed in Camp. The Event Capsule Store appears after earning 500 points; free Bronze Capsules containing Event Points can be collected every 3 hours after that.
Please keep questions and strategy discussions about the event in this thread while it is live; good luck and happy merging!
 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Event Notes

• So far, all seems normal

Elsewhere in the Game

• Some issues affecting gameplay have been reported with version 11.4.0; that release has been paused while the programmers sort out a fix. (Link)
• As of May 1, Game Management will no longer give advance notice of Shiny Days mini-events. Odds are we’ll still get one every week or every other week, with the most frequent dates being the gap days between bigger events — so Mondays or Thursdays are most likely for now, at the usual 19:00 GMT start time.
• A new mini-event called “Race Event” is out for beta-testing to a small number of players; it’s described as a player-vs-player competition. (Link 1, Link 2)
• Popular Links:
  • Dens List
  • Friend Tag Exchange
  • 2024 Event Schedule

 

EVENT PRIZES

1. Sprouting Dragon Tree, lvl 2 - requires earning 70 points
2. Prism Flower Buds, lvl 2 - 1,290p
3. Blue Belly Shrooms, lvl 5 - 1,840p
4. Daily Chest (Super Egg Fragment) - 3,190p
5. Watering Hole, lvl 5 - 4,790p
6. Aged Glowing Dragon Tree, lvl 4 - 6,420p
7. Nice Zen Temple, lvl 3 - 7,990p
8. Golden Sapling, lvl 2 - 9,610p
9. Wood (A) Dragon Kid, lvl 2 - 11,210p
10. Jester (AS) Dragon Kid, lvl 2 - 13,590p

Total to collect all prizes: 60,000 points
 

STRATEGY TIPS

This is the only type of event where point producing items can be stockpiled ahead of time; for info and links to guides on bubbling as a storage option, please visit the Community FAQ.
The following are the most efficient or most frequently recommended ways to earn points:

• Tier 2 Nests of most breeds yield 900 points per tap, for a total of 3,600 to 6,300 points per nest.
• High level Goal Stars are an excellent source of points; the exact number of taps available varies by level and random chance.
  • L6 Star- 1056, L5 Star- 330, L4 Star- 99
• Level 2 Materials Chests offer unlimited quick and easy points; stockpiling stone bricks gives more flexibility than buying specific chests ahead of time:
  • Spectral Chest- 1305, Summoned Chest- 820, Chest of Beasts- 300, Solid Gold Chest- 80, Phobos Chest- 40
• Higher level free chests all yield well:
  • Treasure: L7- 1690, L6- 530, L5- 165
  • Grimm: L4- 792, L3- 240, L2- 72
  • Season: L4- 330, L3- 100
  • Bountiful (Level) Chests- 150
  • Kala’s Rucksacks- 250
• High level Life Trees can be harvested for quick points:
  • Life Orbs: L9- 1560, L8- 500, L7- 160
• These chains recharge fast and give unlimited taps; note that multiple mid-level items may earn more than one or two higher-level items.
  • Fruit Trees: L10 Watermelon- 34, L9 Pineapple- 30, L8 Dragon Fruit- 26, L7 Pear- 23
  • Prism Flowers: L7- 42, L6- 36, L5- 29, L4- 23
  • Midas Trees: L11- 145, L10- 135, L9- 125, L8- 115, L7- 105, L6- 95, L5- 85, L4- 75, L3- 65, L2- 55
  • Bushes: L5- 35, L4- 25, L3- 15
  • Graves: L8- 75, L7- 65, L6- 55, L5- 45, L4- 35
  • Fountains: L6- 136, L5- 105, L4- 75, L3- 45

 

ITEM POINTS

(Tap the name of the chain to go to its wiki page)
Alien Obelisks (Requires cash purchase)

• Alien Obelisk - 45
• Radioactive Alien Obelisk - 135
• Pulsing Alien Obelisk - 450
• Galactic Alien Megalith - 1485

 
Bushes

• Tiny Cabin - 10
• L1 Shrub Sprout - 1
• L2 Budding Shrub - 5
• L3 Nice Shrub - 15
• L4 Flowering Shrub - 25
• L5 Gorgeous Shrub - 35

 
Fruit Trees

• L4 Grape Tree - 10
• L5 Raspberry Tree - 14
• L6 Banana Tree - 18
• L7 Pear Tree - 23
• L8 Dragon Fruit Tree - 26
• L9 Pineapple Tree - 30
• L10 Watermelon Tree - 34

 
Goal Stars and Dragon Stars (points per tap)

• L1 Star - 3 (2-3 taps)
• L2 Star - 9 (2-3 taps)
• L3 Star - 30 (3-4 taps)
• L4 Star - 99 (3-4 taps)
• L5 Star - 330 (3-4 taps)
• L6 Star - 1056 (6-7 taps)
• L1 Dragon Star - 30 (2-4 taps)
• L2 Magnificent Dragon - 90 (7-11 taps)

 
Graves

• L4 Doom Cross - 35
• L5 Fiend’s Resting Place - 45
• L6 Tomb of the Innocent - 55
• L7 Tomb of the Forgiven - 65
• L8 Tomb of the Righteous - 75

 
Life Orbs (single tap)

• L0 Life Essence - 1
• L1 Tiny Life Orb - 1
• L2 Small Life Orb - 2
• L3 Life Orb - 3
• L4 Furious Life Orb - 5
• L5 Wondrous Life Orb - 15
• L6 Great Life Orb - 50
• L7 Giant Life Orb - 160
• L8 Life Orb of Souls - 500
• L9 The Life Orb of Heavens - 1560

 
Midas Trees

• L2 Golden Sapling - 55
• L3 Golden Tree - 65
• L4 Midas Tree - 75
• L5 Glowing Midas Tree - 85
• L6 The Orb Holder - 95
• L7 The Crystal Catcher - 105
• L8 The Moon Bearer - 115
• L9 The Star Mother - 125
• L10 Greater Midas Tree - 135
• L11 Divine Midas Tree - 145

 
MonsteMythical Idols (single tap)

• L1 Kattryx - 3
• L2 Guardian Sphinx - 9
• L3 Young Cerberus - 30
• L4 Noble Gryphon - 99
• L5 Mythical Ogopogo - 330
• L1 Gromblin - 5
• L2 Capricorn - 15
• L3 Dragon Idol - 50
• L4 Rising Phoenix - 165
• L5 Mythical Pegasus - 550

 
Mystic Topiaries (single use only, number of taps depends on level)

• L1 Bunny - 10 (1x tap)
• L2 Bear - 90 (1x tap)
• L3 Rex - 150 (2x taps)
• L4 Swan - 250 (3x taps)
• L5 Seahorse - 550 (5x taps)
• L6 Dolphin - 880 (10x taps)

 
Nests/Eggs

• Tier 1 nest - 20 per tap, 60 to 140 total
• Tier 2 nest - 900 per tap, 3,600 to 6,300 total (except for Star Dragons)
• Mystery Egg Nests - 10 per tap, 40 to 70 total
• Supernest - 20 per tap
• Meganest - 20 per tap
• Ultranest - 20 per tap
• Shimmering Ultranest - 20 per tap
• Activated Super Eggs - 600 (30 per dragon)

 
Prism Flowers

• L1 Sprouting Prism Flower - 3
• L2 Prism Flower Buds - 10
• L3 Opening Prism Flowers - 16
• L4 Prism Flowers - 23
• L5 Blossoming Prism Flowers - 29
• L6 Gorgeous Prism Flowers - 36
• L7 Brilliant Prism Flowers - 42
• L8 Spectral Prism Flowers - 49
• L9 Glowing Prism Flowers - 55

 
ShimmeSecret Fountains (per tap)

• L1 Fountain of Legend - 3
• L2 Ancient Spring - 15
• L3 Shimmering Spring - 45
• L4 Fountain of Faith - 75
• L5 Fountain of Rebirth - 105
• L6 Heroic Dragon Spa - 135
• L1 Secret Lifespring - 30
• L2 Spectral Lifespring - 150

 
Coin Vaults and Stone Yards

• L1 Tattered - 1
• L2 Basic - 5
• L3 Nice - 15
• L4 Great - 25
• L5 Opulent - 35
• L6 Mythical - 45
• L7 Gigantic - 55
• L8 Bottomless - 65

 
Chests (single tap only)

• Treasure Chests
  • L1 Ordinary Chest - 2
  • L2 Nice Chest - 5
  • L3 Chained Chest - 15
  • L4 Sunken Chest - 50
  • L5 Noble Chest - 165
  • L6 Glowing Chest - 530
  • L7 Giant Treasure Chest - 1690
• Grimm Chests
  • L1 Grimm Chest - 24
  • L2 Grimm Chest of Decay - 72
  • L3 Grimm Chest of Despair - 240
  • L4 Grimm Chest of Suffering - 792
• Season Chests
  • L1 Little Seasons chest - 10
  • L2 Big Seasons chest - 30
  • L3 Great Seasons chest - 100
  • L4 Magnificent Seasons chest - 330
• Materials Chests
  • Moon/Phobos Chests - 10/40
  • Golden/Solid Gold Chests - 25/80
  • Dangerous Chest/Chest of Beasts - 100/300
  • Occult/Summoned Chest - 270/820
  • Pearlescent/Spectral Chest - 435/1305
• Dragon Chests Note: Points depend on chest contents
  • Egg Chests - 30 to 80
  • Radiant Egg Chests - 80 to 120
  • Nest Vault - 150 to 200
  • Huge Nest Vault - 400 to 500
• Super Nest Vault - 500
• Mega Nest Vault - 2500
• Ultra Nest Vault - 5000 (limited availability)
• Kala’s Rucksacks - 250
• Daily Chest (Super Egg Fragment) - 150
• Bountiful (aka Level or Timed) Chests - 150
• Chest of Stones - 10
• Chest of Nightstones - 50

 
Camp and Chill Event Items

• Capsules - 0
• Pile of Camp Event Points - 5
• Great Rucksack of Event Points - 10 per tap, 20+ total
• Wondrous Chest of Event Points - 25 per tap, 125+ total
• Mythical Coffer of Event Points - 50 per tap, 450+ total

 
Miscellaneous Items

• Life Flower Seeds - 3
• Rain Clouds - 5
• Cloudy Summit - 11
• Misty Mountain - 35
• Ancient Dragon Skull - 5
• Unearthed Skeleton (aka Bone Pile) - 5
• Most Wonders - 100 per tap, totals vary
• Legendary Glowing Tree - 1087 per tap
• Shangri-La - 200
• The Last Relic Artefact - 330
• Mystic Lantern - 35 per tap, 105 total
• Totems (all) - 20 per tap
• Pile of Riches - 3 per tap
• Mound of Rich Stuff - 15 per tap
• Heap of Glimmering Riches - 45 per tap
• Mountain of Wild Riches - 75 per tap
• Evil Fog - 20 per section unlocked
• Dimensional Jars - varies based on the object
• Event Trophies - 25
  • Spawned items also give 25 points (both L1 and L2)
  • Exceptions: Pomegranate, Temple, and the Enormous Lucky Coins do not give points, nor do their tappables

 
Combo Merges Note: this is a partial list — most chains seem to work, with points increasing by item levels and length of chain.

• Coins - 5, 10, 30, 60 (started with L2)
• Life Flowers - 5, 10, 15, 20, 40 (start w/L1)
• Life Flowers - 15, 40 (started w/L5)
• Life Orbs - 5, 10, 15, 20, 40 (Started w/ heart)
• Life Orbs - 5, 20, 45, 80 (started w/ L3)
• Living Stones - 5, 10, 15, 40 (start w/fresh stones)
• Stone bricks - 5, 10, 15, 40, 60 (start w/L1)

 
No Points Given

• Currency (Coins, Stone Bricks, and Gems)
• Loot orbs
• Dimension Jars
• Dragon Homes
• Haunted Houses
• Boutique exclusive chains
• Lobelia Topiaries
• Ornate/Jeweled Statues
• Small Fluffs
• Chocolate Fountain chain
• Dust Bunny Crates
• Weekly Den Chests
• Opulent Chests
• Season Bonus Chests
• Star Chests
• Star Dragon T2 nests
• New items and anything in limited release for beta testing

 

EVENT TROUBLESHOOTING

If the event is not showing up correctly or if glitches are affecting your play:

1. Check that you meet the version and dragon power requirements.
2. Try hard-closing and then relaunching your game.
3. Try rebooting your device (ie, turn it completely off, then back on and allow it to fully boot up before relaunching the game). If you are on wifi and have access to the router, try rebooting that, too.
4. Try switching to a completely different internet source.
5. Try clearing your game’s cache (google for instructions for your specific phone type).
6. If you’re suddenly experiencing multiple issues like lagging or error messages (or if the event vanishes completely), close the game and try again after 2-3 hours. Events are internet-based, and sometimes issues with the servers can cause temporary problems — all we can do for that is to wait it out.
7. If none of the above helps, contact Gram Games Support through the in-game link or the Support Web Portal for help figuring out what’s wrong.

• NOTE: Cloud Save is still unreliable: according to the developer, it is not safe to be used and should be left turned off.
• NOTE: Saving your Progress: Make sure to save your progress by traveling to the World Map screen (and waiting there until everything’s fully loaded) regularly, and especially before closing your game.

 
Edits are ongoing

My fellow gamers, for too long has our community suffered the indignation of an intolerable culture that has denigrated, besmirched, exploited, and has outright demonized our culture of unique individuals with a genuine love of a hobby that they see as profitable and progressive. They have taken beloved IP’s (Intellectual Properties) and twisted them into their own personal ideological crusade of undermining and humiliating the core aspects of characters they deemed as “Toxic” or “White Supremacy”. Through the guise and protection of DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusivity) & ESG (Environmental, Social, and Governance) they have used our influence in the entertainment industry to push their narratives and agendas that have stigmatized our culture with numerous anti-consumer practices that they call “being progressive”. But the truth of the matter is they were never really looking to be a part of our community, they simply wanted to use our community as a tool of activism and propaganda in the entertainment industry as it was extremely profitable, and they wanted inclusion in that division. Ever since GamerGate & Female Frequency, we have had to endure the incursion of forced ideologies, xenophobic behaviors and inferior overpriced products that have never been in our best interest and have been flat out disgraceful towards foreign media.
Before Gaming had become a major source of entertainment, we were often categorized as anti-social or societies rejects where because we found more enjoyment in playing fictional characters and not spending as much time out and about, we never fully assimilated in society (which is a good thing if you ask me). From 1998 to 2007, at the height of innovation, creativity and production, Gaming had reached a golden age in which it had revolutionized society. Hollywood Execs who had ruined the movie industry turned their attention to video games as a source of income since video games had outperformed movies in terms of profit. No one was concerned about gaming, much less diversity or inclusivity until it became profitable. This makes people like SBI look extremely disingenuous as they were not interested in gamers as a community with its own culture. They simply wanted to use it as another weapon in identity politics.
Microtransactions; the hidden enemy to gamer progress and inducer to mental laziness of our community. Microtransactions have been around for a long time; however, it has never been more potent and apparent than in recent years. It has aided in the dismantling and segregation of players on the ideology of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and has created another sub-culture of gamers who have no real drive to be better outside of how much money they put into the game. This has degraded our culture as well as we have become “fat” off transactional gaming but at the same time we have been “starved” of purposeful gaming where our achievements were our sustenance. I am not saying that microtransactions are bad, but when they are exploitative and predatorial like they have been and don’t give gamers room to grow, we become lethargic and unwilling to improve ourselves as gamers. Oversaturated microtransactional games are one of the many reasons why we have become complacent and unwilling to fight against the exploitative tactics used by big brand game companies such EA, Ubisoft, ActivisionBlizzard, NaughtyDog and so many other western business model companies. Western style games were not like this in the past, they had much more depth and actual effort put into them with the gamer in mind. This has not been the case for over a decade and our connection to western developers has been whittled down to just being transactional. That is one of the reasons why you see so many remasters and remakes in today’s gamer community. They have lost their willingness to improve as developers of games and simply accept corporate/share holder rules.
Game journalists also do not have any real integrity or purpose outside of being funded for their involvement in promoting IPG (Identity Political Games) in a positive light to the public whether it’s positively received or not. They are not interested in what we have to say, they all support the same agenda and that is why they are a dying breed. Within the next couple of years, they will be out of the job and more than likely they will not be able to stay in the industry giving how they have responded to past articles that have clearly been scripted on the premise of diversity and racism. Not only that, but most of them are also extremely hostile to the community as they stereotype and defame the individuals that are a part of the community they are supposed to serve. We have been mentally liberated from their lies and coercive tactics as we tend to laugh at their obvious attempt at virtue signaling while hiding their misdoings so that they can play the victim.
My gamer brothers & sisters, I would not suggest the following action that we must take now without good cause. I have weighed our options and the best option for us now is this…...CULTURAL SECESSION. Naturally this is a form of segregation where they would more than likely claim they are being segregated by the dominant culture of the gaming community but that is incorrect. For years now we have been the ones who are often marginalized and ostracized for the smaller portion of our community. And when we aren’t, we’re exploited for more funds so that these companies can stay in business only to subject us to low quality products that coincide with the “WOKE Agenda” that are often huge expenses to these big brands i.e. AAA/AAAA games that will eventually flop for its obvious forced diversity and bug infested product which will undoubtedly piss off the consumer to the point of wanting a refund. Losing copious amounts of capital and stock in the process, not to mention their reputation is permanently marred.
We must separate on every cultural level in terms of entertainment and ideology. We must reject everything from the west that promotes toxic western beliefs, practices, and exclusion from other cultures (i.e. Southeastern Countries such as Japan and Korea). Japan & Korea have been the targets of unjust discrimination from Western Developers, Western Journalists, Western Localizers (The Wokelizers) and Western Society Prejudice regarding their sense of aesthetics as Westerners hate the aesthetic sense of these countries. The reason why they resort to such base tactics isn’t just because it weaponizes the ideal female form but it’s also because they have deep-seated insecurities about their own looks so when they see attractive female characters, they use terms such as “unrealistic” or “hypersexualized” to establish the moral high ground. But the truth is, they want to feel superior to that which is ideal, so they insult and dehumanize this figure that portrays natural female beauty because they see it as an insult to their own social superiority in what they believe is a hierarchy of them being at the top of all other women. Because of this and so many contributing factors, their movies flop harder than the Fat Chocobo landing on a group of enemies and their games seismically fail just as much if not more. We must sever our connection to Western Developers, Publishers, and ALL Western-Centric Entertainment for they seek to mentally enslave us to their Xenophobic ideology.
Let’s define Western Culture and its traits. Western Culture/Society is composed of more than several different ideologies that work in unison with one another to facilitate dominance over multiple aspects of society. Business, Social, Political, Technological, and sometimes even Global Affairs are affected by these ideologies that portray a specific mindset of Western beliefs. What are those ideologies you ask?

• Perpetual Victimhood: By weaponizing the fact that they are marginalized and of a small portion of western society, they can push their agenda to absurd standards that ultimately ostracize the main demographic. And when companies don’t capitulate, they are labeled as anti-progressive/misogynist’s or cohorts of White Supremacy. They use this to cancel their targets and silence them through societal defamation to keep the public on their side. They also use this mindset to justify their own lack of self-agency as they tend to throw companies who do adhere to their demands but miserably fail to turn a profit under the bus so that they can maintain face in front of the public while denying their actual involvement. They will never accept “Sense of Agency” when it’s negative but will gladly accept it when a positive outcome shines on them as if they are entitled to it.

Official Wiki GamerGate Page)
​

• Societal Terrorism: This is another form of ideology weaponization that they use in order to make companies “toe-the-line” with their agenda. By weaponizing cancel culture, they exert dominance over these companies but in exchange they also reimburse those companies with DEI & ESG funds that raise their credit score as well as having social status with the marginalized demographic. However; cancel culture has not succeeded in years and developers and publishers probably only want the money and the DEI ESG rating. But they have to maintain the image of having social economic power so that they can continue to strong-arm other developers into compliance and promoting financial benefits of DEI & ESG. In other words, if you are not for sale, they discredit and stigmatize you in the industry.

Asmongold Clips.
https://youtu.be/Iq86DnmX2xY
​

• “Its not us, its you who’s wrong” Mentality: This mentality is especially annoying as they tend to use it to hide their incompetence. They often look down upon gamers who are not in the industry to hide their obvious lack of knowledge on game development thinking that their job title grants them special status that they believe gives them the right to be condescending. But the truth they never wanted revealed has already strangled their careers of all credibility. They were never GAMERS, they were INVADERS. Community Colonists that seek to indoctrinate next generational gamers into their hive-mind and brand previous generations of gamers as villains.

@GeeksandGamers
https://youtu.be/1HbrTkqQFuM
​

• Double-standard Enforcement: By labeling something as “unrealistic” or “hypersexualized”, they can claim this is morally wrong if it promotes traditional dynamics between men and women. Heterosexual relationships are condemned while at the same time Same-sex relationships are praised. Additionally, heterosexual relationships with main white male characters turn antagonistic and spotlight stealing. This is deliberate as to promote the “Girl Boss” ideology to indoctrinate women into the Feminazi state of mind. While at the same time, should a male character also adopt the “I don’t need male/female” ideology its seen as Toxic Masculinity which isn’t even a real thing. The idea of a strong male character is taboo while enforcing strong female characters is the ideal.

@MugenLord
https://youtu.be/to5Uciy_yeg
@EndymionTv
https://youtu.be/7TPTR8-qmbk
​

• Dehumanization/Demonization: This is something that most military branches use in order to remove conscious inhibitions such as mass slaughter is wrong or categorization. By enforcing ideologies to denounce humanity in certain targets, it deactivates your conscience by saying this is not human therefore its ethically okay to treat this target without compassion and deny the fact it has sentience. We gamers fall under this category for journalists, developers, companies and society at large. This is a tactic we are familiar with to an extent as it implies that we are not normal when we do not do what everybody else is doing. “Geeks are the worse” or “Nerds need to fall into a pit of lava” are verbal dehumanization forms that most people in society say and we as Gamers tend to be relegated to those categories. This is their way of imposing the social hierarchy on us by establishing superiority. We know this as Gamers as we see it very often in the games that we play and some times experience it in real life.

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Gamergate#The_end_of_their_relevance
​

• Deflection/Projection: This is basic psychology 101. By redirecting the conversation away from their mistakes and back on to the opposing view to avert blame and justify their innocence they can avoid criticism. However; deflection is a CONSCIOUS decision, meaning they have no real argument to justify their incompetence. If you can consciously process the situation, you have self-agency which means you don’t have a legitimate excuse. Projection is something else entirely. Most times, Projection doesn’t work on conscious decisions rather it is automatically deployed when feeling threatened, anxious or both. Instead of accepting accountability for feelings or actions that are deemed socially unacceptable they accuse others of committing that unacceptable behavior thereby exonerating themselves and proving that those feelings and/or actions are not their own.

@TheTrentReport
https://youtu.be/bPIPSKruYRo
These traits are so nefarious and unconscionable that I have a hard time believing that anyone could harbor them. However, given the social, political, and economic climate that we are in, those in power who use their influence on controlling society most definitely possess these insidious traits. Everything that they do is all about control and since video games are the biggest market in the world, they want control over it and the communities built around it to accrue more wealth and to use that wealth to subjugate other cultures. Mainstream media is a tool as well as mainstream organizations and sites to help accomplish this goal.
The government recently announced its intentions towards what they believe is “GamerGate 2.0” and now even the ADL has made an official appearance, referring to gamers as “extremist’s”. We know EXACTLY what they are doing, and they aren’t even trying to hide it anymore because they don’t think we are aware of their motives. This is just a pretext for them to exert even more control and we know why, it’s because they want the influence we as a community have to must serve them. So here is what we do my fellow gamers-
“In light of recent events and years of mainstream stigma, we the members of the Global Gaming Community [GGC] must officially renounce ALL TIES to the corporate western video game market. We have been financially exploited through predatorial monetization schemes, pelted with numerous articles of disdain and intentional misrepresentation from game journalists, news outlets regarding us as dangerous individuals and, even subjected to inferior products not only riddled with bugs but also products meant to push political agendas. For the preservation of our community and its unique culture, apart from a few select game development studios we officially sever all connections to western owned video game companies & their mainstream affiliates. From this point onward, we will no longer support western corporate developers, journalists and publishers that do not coincide with the goals of our community.”
Naturally this is completely optional. If you are okay with the state of the gaming community as it is, feel free to ignore this. But if you wish for real change and a break away from oversaturated monetization in the games you play and the push for radical ideological reform, then you are in the right place. Lets sever these rotted miasmic ties once and for all so that our community can be preserved and made better for future gamers. If you agree with this, share it with whoever you think might be interested. The more gamers who get involved, the easier it will be for us to finally break free from mainstream game companies and their associates.

Hello GOG community, this is my 4th attempt at requesting a popular game known as The Legend of Zelda : Breath of the Wild available only on the Nintendo Switch which released together on the 3rd of March 2017
Let's start with a short summary of what the game is all about The land of Hyrule is in trouble and after a whole century of (100 years) sleeping deeply (I need that) the hero known as Link awakes without any of his memories to the land and Zelda from a variant of Ganon (Calamity Ganon). Using the abilities that he gains from the various shrines spread across the entire region using a important item known as the Sheikah Slate (discount IPad) which is obtained at the beginning of the game. After getting the Master Sword (obtained from the Great Deku Tree located in the Lost Woods) Link will be able to beat the threat that is Calamity Ganon itself
Features present in the game itself The game contains a ton of things ranging from hidden items such as heart containers (which gives the player more health) to certain mechanics such as the durability that item has before it breaks apart. The game features shrines which have puzzles inside for the player to complete (most of the don't for some reason). Other stuff include upgrading gear, ride horses and breed them , hunting and gathering, pet the dawg (very important feature), talking with a large number of npcs, etc.
Why I want this particular game Not much to say here other than the expansive the world that game is set in with the freedom of going wherever I would want to as it is not a linear game by any means except for perhaps the tutorial, the length of how long it would take to bea- no, 100% the game is pretty intense seeing as how you would have to collect , complete, explore and beat a ton of things (the 900 Korok seed will scar me for life) throughout the massive map that Breath of the Wild contains which might take roughly around 150 or so hours maybe a couple weeks as I only play games in the weekends that arrive. From what I have heard from people who played the guy , they have said that the second village is very hard to find and get to, this adds to my increased interest of playing the game seeing as how I like a challenge.
The part that everyone puts in their posts The only reason why I can't get it for myself would be due to how poor I am at the moment, and the fact that I'm studying to earn money. I'll try to pay back if it is needed after I'm able to get a job but that will that some time
Friend Code SW-0818-7132-2612 (in the case that you want to check the amount of hours played or need it
The links where it is able to be purchased (digitally)
I found 2 amazon links for digital codes Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Legend-Zelda-Breath-Switch-Download/dp/B06WLJ24VT
Amazon US : Out of Stock : (will update if it is in stock again
A 70 euro giftcard for europe would also be appreciated but I don't know where to find one that could be bought .
Hoping that these work if it does happen, thanks

Still on my first playthrough, I went in blind without reading any guides/tutorials. I made some huge mistakes like picking the wrong city development perks (sheep breeding, trapping, and charcoal first three, then deep mining, cheaper trade routes, and helmet crafting last). I also completely ignored military and weapon making as well as never attacking bandit camps, mostly because I was constantly trying to keep my town alive since they were always running out of food (almost every year was at 0 months until food ran out after winter). But after several years of expansion and farming like there was no tomorrow, and making every single citizen have a vegetable plot or chickens, they finally became self sustaining enough for me to build hundreds of weapons and armor since I started out in a rich iron deposit with added deep mining perk. By that time the Baron had claimed every single region except one. I claimed it when I finally had 1k influence, built up a thriving meat industry (rich animal deposit) which further supported my first town's growth. Then relatively quickly gained 2k influence to lay claim to one of baron's regions. Even though he had 2 extra archer & footmen squads, as well as double the retinue amount than me, I squashed one of his archer squads that tried to outflank me with my retinue, and pinned their whole army between my 72 spearmen and sent my retinue to attack them from behind while they were engaged with the spear wall and getting hit with my archers. Victory!
I went from nearly giving up and starting over due to my town's starvation, to being a powerful kingdom in a couple years. This game is awesome, can't wait for more developments & features! I like that you actually can strategically plan & update your combat strategy in real-time to out maneuver the enemy.
Now to go and claim the rest of the map!

I realized while lurking this subreddit that many newer GMs posting here may find themselves confused as to how to properly balance their combat encounters. This is wholly understandable as the book isn't exactly clear on the process. I thought I'd share my insight so as to help any prospective GMs design a clean and effective opfor.
Credentials: I've been GMing Lancer for ~3 years now and have run multiple successful campaigns to completion, both custom and on-module. I teach newbies how to play on the regular and have coached these same newbies to run their own combats sessions.
Disclaimer: The following rules are my own method to encounter building, and while many other GMs in the community follow these rough guidelines you can expect everyone to have their own twist on it. Another GM you talk to will surely have tweaks on what I present here, but that's okay and honestly kind of cool. We all have our own signature method of playing this game and this happens to be mine!
I will endeavor to make this guide as short as possible so as to be easy to reference. Feel free to reach out if you wanted clarification.
Step 0: Nomenclature
A quick glossary of terms I'll be using frequently.
-OpFor: Stands for oppositional force. That means your entire collection of baddies used for a given combat encounter.
-Structure: The structure points for your NPCs. Normal NPCs have only 1 structure by default, but templates like Elite or Veteran can increase that.
-Activations: The number of times an individual NPC can take a turn during a round of combat. Most NPCs have only 1 activation by default, but templates like Elite or Ultra can increase that.
-Budget: The total number of NPCs you should be using for a combat encounter, based on how much Structure each individual NPC has.
Step 1: Pick a Sitrep/Budget
The first thing you need to do before you go any further is pick your Sitrep, starting at page 267 in the Core Rulebook. This is the objective that you and your players will be competing against each other to accomplish. Sitreps are an absolutely essential aspect of Lancer combat and the entire engine is designed around ensuring that you and your players have clear-cut goals with specific win conditions outlined. You can still have the occassional death match, if you're so inclined, but they should be infrequent to rare at best.
The Sitrep also determines your Budget. You'll note that each Sitrep descriptions says something like "Use the normal amount of enemies" or "Use double the amount of enemies as normal." This is what we like to call a "Single Budget" or a "Double Budget," respectively.
A Single Budget encounter should have enough total NPC Structure to equal 2x the number of players partaking in the combat. For example, if you have 4 players, you want the total Structure from all your NPCs to be 8. If you have 3 players, the total Structure from all NPCs should be 6.
This includes reinforcements.
A double budget encounter simply doubles that. 4 players would equal 16 total NPC Structure, 3 players would equal 12 total NPC structure, and so on.
I'll make a comment below that lists which Sitreps have a Single Budget and which Sitreps have a Double Budget.
Step 2: Balancing Damage
It's entirely possible to do too much damage to your players. NPCs hit hard and you need to make sure they're not hitting so hard that your players don't have a chance to respond. Therefore, never have more than 50% of your OpFor be damage dealing NPCs.
The precise nature of a "damage dealing" NPC is up for interpretation. It is universally accepted that all Strikers and all Artillery archetypes are damage dealers. However, some Controllers and even Defenders fall into this category as well. Knowing who the black sheep of each archetype is comes with time and experience and every GM will tell you who they think is the biggest threat.
For now, stick to focusing on Strikers and Artillery until you get a better sense of who's who.
Step 3: Archetype Spread
In addition to having only 50% of your OpFor be damage dealers, make sure that the rest of the NPCs you're using have a healthy spread of different archetypes. That means Support, Controller, and Defender.
You don't have to have one of each, as a rule, but if you're just starting out then that's at least a good guide rail to use until you're more comfortable experimenting.
Step 4: Don't Overdo Templates
One of the biggest mistakes I see new GMs make is to apply the Pirate Template to every single NPC in their OpFor. "But they're all pirates," they'll tell me, confused as to why their players had a miserable time going against +1d6 damage on crit from every single enemy.
Here's what the book doesn't tell you: Templates affect mechanics, not flavor. Only apply a Template to an NPC to give it the strict mechanical benefits that come with it and never for any other reason!
You can have an NPC be a pirate and not use the pirate template. In fact, you absolutely SHOULD have an NPC be a pirate without using the pirate template. The trick to this is to simply say "This guy is a pirate" and not do anything else. It's as easy as that.
Use Templates sparingly. If you're new, I wouldn't recommend using more than 1 per combat. Even now I don't really do more than 2-3, if that.
Step 5: Fair Deployment
Once you have your OpFor picked out and ready to roll, it's time to put them on the board. In an effort to not overwhelm your players but still have enough presence to apply a bit of pressure, only deploy enough NPCs so that their combined Activations equals 1.5x the number of players. For example, if you have 4 players, only have 6 activations on the board. That means 6 normal enemies, 4 normal enemies and an Elite, etc. I like to think of this as a Soft Cap for Activations.
The rest of your OpFor should be kept back as reinforcements. Follow the reinforcement rules of your chosen Sitrep to figure out when they should enter the fray, and how many.
Additionally, never have NPC activations exceed 2x the number of players. They will be overwhelmed very fast and nobody will have fun. Consider this a Hard Cap for Activations.
If you have reinforcements ready to go but you're already at the Soft Cap, you can bring more if the players are winning and you want to turn up the heat. If the players are losing, hold off and wait until they're in a better position. It's your job as GM to moderate the difficulty of combat based on active circumstances.
If you're already at Hard Cap, then no reinforcements get to enter the board yet. Wait until your players start scoring kills, the suckers.
The End
There's more nuance that goes into it than that, but this is a good starting point for anyone who just wants to wrap their heads around a complex system. As you get experienced, you'll start experimenting more with synergy, cross-classing, custom sitreps, and all kinds of crazy shit. The more experience you have, the more you'll be free to fuck around without breaking the game!

What are all the minigames being made / is made in hermitcraft 10? I know about ethos frogger game and Zedaphs sheep whacker game but what else? (Does smallish beans and gems fight club count too?)

I mainly play SSO to rp (roleplay) , specifically realistic rider roles. But the amount of things I’ve seen people do is crazy, the rp community is such an unsafe place for young players.
We need to remember Star stable is a pink horse game targeted towards young girls. The system is so strict for a reason, because people are gross and weird with rp’s. If you know you know.
Don’t even get me started on the wild breeding roles

AFTER reading through the pinned post and all the linked guides/tips...this is how I play now. (I've played this game on and off since it was released)

• Always have a quest active quest going. Im now using my best dwellers (properly leveled to 50) equipped with most powerful repeater type weapons (miniguns etc) best power armor (aesthetic) at least 2 +DMG pets and 1 DMG resistant pet
  
• always have multiple dwellers exploring the wasteland for caps and recipes
  
• always have 5 Mr Handys in the wasteland for caps
  
• built the top section of my vault to funnel front entrance incidents along my strongest dwellers with the strongest weapons
  
• always training (it's additional caps income)
  
• keep my dweller numbers manageable . my vault can go to max capacity, but in only at 150
  
• breed only to keep happiness at or around 80-85%. I have dwellers tagged for eviction (the ones from early game
  

That pinned post and this sub have been a tremendous resource...and I HATE the show for dragging me back into this 😅😅😅😅

To be honest, I wasn't sure that the Advice sub would let me post this there so I'm posting it here because it's so fucked up. And it didn't seem right for Let's Not Meet, either. But I do need advice, because I feel I'm losing my fucking mind.
So I (30F) have always been very close to my cousin (30F), let's call her Angela. Because we're the same age, our parents (my mom and her father are siblings) went through all the same stages with us and as such, we were more or less raised like siblings due to how much time our families spent together.
We even had homes in the country in the same township, which is where I think this happened. And I can't really tell my family this because it will make me sound legitimately crazy. And some part of me even doubts this memory, but at the same time I know in my heart that it's true. It's a complicated feeling, and this memory was brought to light last week when my suspicion I've had for years was more or less confirmed.
One winter, sixteen years ago, when Angela and I were both fourteen, both of our families were at our cottages, a twenty minute drive from each other. Angela and her little brother (my cousin, let's call him James) parents (my aunt and uncle) were going skiing one morning, and I wanted to go too. So I spent the night at their cottage, like I often did when we all went up north.
Angela's bedroom had two single beds in it, and James' room was down the hall. The whole house was open concept, so the hall from Angela's room to James' room did not have walls, but rather was bordered by two railings over which you could see down into the main floor, the open concept living and dining rooms.
James is four years younger than us, and when he was 10, he was such a typical little boy/little brother, it's almost cartoonish to look back on. Like, I'm talking *constantly* bothering us, putting a stink bomb on a remote control car that he would sneak into our rooms, trying to read Angela's diary when we weren't in her bedroom, just all the stuff. But never anything cruel or out of the ordinary or sinister, just a massive handful.
The basement of James and Angela's cottage was filled with storage and old toys, and sometimes (on the rare occasion) that we'd willingly play with James, we'd all go down to the basement and try to freak each other out. Anyway, one of the toys in the basement was your typical Raggedy-Ann doll from the 60s or something. I think it belonged to my uncle when he was a kid and then Angela when she was a baby. Her name was Trilly. I forget who named it. Anyway, I have vague memories of playing with it when we were much younger and pretending it was our third cousin or our little daughter. But since then she'd sat in storage in the basement.
But, what great nightmare material! Right?! A creepy, limp, smiling doll. So the night I stayed over, before we went skiing in the morning, James, Angela and I were up to our playing in the basement, and I remember we tried to freak James out by pretending Trilly was alive or something like that. Whatever. Game over, we all had dinner with the parents, then watched a movie as a family and went to bed. James to his room and Angela and me to Angela's room.
Now this is the thing. Angela and I still joke about this night, and she remembers it just like I do, which is why I sort of wrote off my hypothesis until last week. That night, in the middle of the night, I started tossing and turning. I woke up and could tell that Angela was stirring as well. One of us said to the other, "are you awake?" and the other said "yes," and we realized that we both couldn't sleep or were woken up by the same thing or were both just feeling restless. But then, at the other end of her room, Trilly was sitting in the fucking desk chair.
I think it was Angela who pointed it out. We saw a shadow, thinking it was a person, freaked out, and then relaxed briefly when we saw it was just the doll. But then we got freaked out all over again and were like, "why the FUCK is this FUCKING doll in your room!?!?", murderously standing up and going over to it to pick it up and throw it in James' room and pound the living Christ out of him.
We turn on all the lights, turn on the hall light, stomp down the hall into his room and turn on his lights, and see he's not in his bed. We then go downstairs (my aunt and uncle's room was on the main floor), Trilly still in Angela's hands, and hear my aunt and James in the washroom. Turns out James had been sick for the last few hours and my aunt had been up all night with him as he was throwing up in the washroom. And when we saw the scene we immediately could tell that James had nothing to do with Trilly. Like, it was just one of those really believable situations where we could tell James truly had no idea what was going on. We even felt bad for him. And, to top it off, when we told him the story in the morning it scared him so much that he didn't go into the basement for like a year. Anyway, it just seemed really sincere.
So Angela and I went back up to her room and we were like, "are we *sure* we didn't bring this up here last night? Are we sure? We must have." Anyway, while we were really freaked, we figured that it was explainable. We knew the doll obviously didn't walk itself upstairs like it was some horror movie. But, because we were fourteen and all for the drama (and I remember us having the "better safe than sorry" mindset) we called her dog upstairs (Bella, a poorly behaved black poodle). We started playing tug-of-war with Bella, using Trilly as the toy, and eventually Bella ripped her to shreds.
Anyway, funny memory, making the dog rip up the doll, we laughed and thought we were tough and cool, then we went back to bed.
The next morning, instead of all of us going skiing, it was just Me, Angela, and my Uncle, because James stayed home with my aunt on account of his stomach flu. But when we woke up, Angela was acting weird. Nothing too noteable, just really bizarrely quiet as she moved around her room to get her clothes out of her drawers and get changed. She didn't, like, acknowledge me in her room. I said something like "morning" when she didn't acknowledge me, and she looked at me and then turned back to her drawers and kept getting changed.
And she was looking around weirdly, I remember that too. Almost like she'd misplaced something, but a little more dazed than that. Just moving strangely. Then she went downstairs without saying anything to me at all. I thought maybe she was just super groggy... but it still felt really weird.
When I went downstairs, she was standing at the island in the kitchen buttering toast that my uncle had put in for us. I distinctly remember walking up beside her and the toaster, pulling a piece of toast out of it, putting it on the plate that had been set out for me, and when I dipped the knife into the container of butter, Angela smacked my hand away, hard, and looked at me and snapped, "what are you doing? Don't take things that aren't yours". I was shocked. It honestly felt like being struck in the face. She'd never spoken to me like that before, and even though we were like siblings, I still felt that kind of mortifying embarrassment you feel when someone calls you out on misbehaving, even though I wasn't doing anything wrong; but it *was* her family's butter and bread? I don't know. That's what I remember thinking. But it was awkward and weird and I just said, "um, what?" and then she didn't say anything, just kept buttering her toast, and I mumbled some apology.
The three of us then drove to the ski hill and, I kid you not, Angela and I didn't speak the whole way there. I had no idea what was up, but I didn't want to ask with her dad in the car.
Then when we got to the ski hill, we went skiing just the two of us and on the chairlift during the first run I mustered up the courage to say "Hey, did I do something wrong? I feel like you're really mad at me or something". And she turned to look at me and was confused. Not friendly, not warm, not reassuring, but confused. It was almost as if I was a stranger and she looked at me as if to say, "sorry, who are you? why are you talking to me?"
And she responded in a formal way: "Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about". The distance in her voice was really eerie, and I started to think maybe this had to do with the doll incident the night before and either she was trying to extend the prank, and she was the one who had put the doll on the chair, OR she felt guilty that we ruined this family doll and she resented me for being a part of it. Anyway, when we got to the top of the hill, she skied down quickly and didn't wait for me to go back up again, and we ended up skiing separately.
I felt awkward and embarrassed like I'd done something wrong. I ended up skiing with my uncle who asked me what was up with us, and I just said I didn't know. Then after our day of skiing, he dropped me off at my family's cottage and continued on home with Angela.
For the rest of that whole school year (we were in ninth grade), Angela and I didn't really speak. It was really sad. We were like sisters before, but better because we weren't actually sisters, but cousins, and so we were like best friends that were related. Seriously, we were really close. And it really messed me up, I felt like she just ghosted me. I would text her and call her house but she was always "fine" or "with Jessica" (her best friend). I chalked it up to her just outgrowing me, and it really fucking sucked. But, to be honest, it was so jarring and such a stark shift that I was more confused than hurt. I talked to my mom about it and she explained to me how rough it can be to be a teenage girl.
But that following summer, we were up at our cottages again, and our family had a barbecue and invited over my aunt and uncle and Angela and James. I had seen Angela at family things a couple of times since and she would just kind of ignore me and spend the whole time texting, which is what I expected this time.
Sure enough, that's what happened for the first bit of the barbecue. But then when the food was ready, she came up beside me as we were dressing our hamburgers at the condiment table and said, "oh my god, remember that night we got Bella to ruin Trilly?" and I was so shocked by her friendly tone, by her acting as though she were picking up a conversation we just were having, that I just stared at her and said, "yeah, that was crazy". And she said, "yeah, so funny. Anyway, how've you been?" again, really different and formal. I almost couldn't get past how altered her tone was, like we'd never even met. In fact she seemed so sprightly and kind that I thought she was mocking me.
And our relationship since that barbecue carried on just like that. She started talking to me more, but I'd reference inside jokes or ways we used to be or things we used to do and she never really latched on to any of them. I was caught between thinking she'd outgrown me and thinking she was like embarrassed of our closeness before or something and was trying to move on. I talked to my mom about this, and again got the speech about how teenage girls can be really cruel/strange sometimes.
So until we were about 22, we were like that. Nice to each other, talking sometimes, not that close, and I learned to not try and act like we were all close or that we had been close. I talked to my friends about it too and they said it was normal for friendships to change like that. But something felt off about this. I started to honestly feel crazy for hanging on to this "before" memory of Angela so much.
Then when we were 22, we grew apart. This time, it was mutual and natural. I moved cities, and she got engaged and became a real estate agent and we just had nothing to talk about. It was gradual and I didn't notice it much. Which brings us to eight years later, just last week.
I was travelling in Iceland. I had to be there (very randomly) for a conference/workshop I was leading for work, and turned it into a vacation. Rented a car, decided I was going to drive across the island after the conference was over and stay on the east part and explore a bit.
Day four of my seven-day long road trip. It's mid-afternoon, I'm hungry. I've been driving for three hours and have come across no sign of civilization at all, and it was fifty miles to the next town. But then, voila! A little gas station/general store/cafe! Perfect!
Ah, fuck. I literally can't believe I'm writing this. It makes me sound fucking crazy. But here I go.
I park in the little three-car parking lot. I get out of my car, step onto the gravel, the sky is white, expansive, there are mountains everywhere around me, fields, sheep. The air is fresh. Seriously middle of nowhere. I walk up the wooden rickety steps and push open the door and hear the door chimes go. A man walks out from the back room and greets me, and the place is cute. There's a little handwritten menu above the cash register and I asked him in my pathetic Icelandic/English mix if I could have the gravlax toast. He's very friendly and kind and says yes, asks if I want a coffee, I say yes please, blah blah, he rings me up at the cash register, and I go and sit at the one table they have and wait for my food.
I look around - it's mostly a fishing supplies store with some general groceries. The man opens the door to the room from which he came, the kitchen I suppose, and says the order to the lady in the back who looks like she's doing some prep cooking. Immediately I stop. It's freaking Angela!!!! Or I thought it was.
Now, remember, I hadn't seen Angela in about eight years. Since her dad passed away when we were twenty-three, and because I'd moved cities, we just had no reason to really see each other especially after growing so far apart.
So, like, OH MY GOD, it's Angela! She's working at a random little general store in middle-of-nowhere Iceland! But wait, I thought. No. This is obviously not-fucking-Angela. Angela is a real estate agent in my hometown. I'd obviously know if she lived in Iceland lol. Right? I don't really use social media but the odd time I do, she'll pop up here and there. But I guess not enough for me to *confirm* she still lived in my hometown.
But anyway, she looked enough like Angela that I went right up to the cash register and rang the little bell and the guy came back out and when he opened the door I was able to get another look at her, and my heart skidded. A chill spread across my crown. It was one hundred percent Angela. Like, my full-on cousin. So, looking over the guys' shoulder, RIGHT AT ANGELA, I smile and say, "Angela!! Oh my god!!" and before she could respond, the door shut again.
And the guy at the cash smiled really big, a nice, friendly, smile and he looked surprised as well, and pointed back over his shoulder and then at me, as if to say, "you two know each other?!" which confirmed for me that her name was Angela, because he seemed really delighted at the coincidence. Expecting her to emerge from the kitchen, I walked around to behind the cash register (the invitation was implied by the guy) and he put his arm back to open the door for me, or for Angela, whom we both expected to be making her way over to me, too.
When he opened the door, she was head-down again, chopping vegetables. I walked through the door and said, "Angela? Angela!" smiling, thinking she hadn't seen me yet or realized who I was, all context considered. She looked up at me, and then quickly, as though avoiding my eyes, looked down. "Hey", she said, quietly, at the cutting board.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON? Before I could ask anything, she said, "I'm really sorry, okay?"
What?
She repeated herself and then continued: "I'm really sorry okay? But we can't talk".
I actually, like, had no clue what was happening. I was looking into the eyes of my cousin whom I hadn't seen in forever in some random fucking shack in Iceland and she was acting skittish and afraid. I opened my mouth to protest and she said, "I need you to leave," then she called the guy's name and said something to him in Icelandic. She can speak Icelandic??!
The guy came in, his demeanour totally different. Almost like he was a bouncer. He gestured to my coffee and toast that were ready to go, took them in his hands and ushered me out of the kitchen and I could tell I no longer was welcome. Either I wasn't welcome or I was in danger, or both. It felt more like the former. And I don't think the guy had any idea what was going on, either. I think she must have said something to him like "I don't know this person, this person is crazy" or something. That's how he was acting toward me.
I got in my car, I drove five minutes down the road, and pulled over. I miraculously had service and I called my mom and told her everything. She kind of just laughed at me and was like "Many-Patient2894, that obviously wasn't Angela". And joked about me making some poor Icelandic woman feel extremely weird. But based off the guy's reaction when I said her name, her name was Angela, and the way she spoke to me and said sorry and said we couldn't talk, like, she knew me too. I told my mom all of this and I sounded fucking crazy and she just was basically like, "Haha, yeah, weird". I think she thinks I was making up the part about the apology.
I told all of my friends this, when I was still in Iceland, and they all reacted like my mom did. At this point, I had four days left in the country, and I kept wanting to return to the cafe/general store. But I didn't. I started to think maybe the woman thought I was someone else. But then I kept coming back to, but wait, this person was Angela. Her name, her body, her face, like I just didn't know what to do.
This brings me to two days ago, the day before yesterday, when I returned to Canada, where I live. It's eight o'clock in the morning and I'm on my way to work. In my car. Just picked up a coffee. Exhausted. Not thinking about Angela at all. Thinking about my laundry, my bills, what I'm going to make for dinner. The traffic is bad and it's a miserable day outside.
My phone dings. It's a random number. The text reads: "Hey! It's Angela! How was your trip?"
Haven't heard from her in eight years (except for our run-in in Iceland, if indeed it was one). No "how have you been??", no "I miss you!!" no "long time no talk/see!". I also hadn't posted anything about my trip on social media. Unless you were a friend of mine, you didn't know I was there.
I immediately call my mom, who follows Angela on Instagram, and ask her to look at her profile. Sure enough, Angela (not at all to my mother's surprise), is posting stories of the bachelorette party she's at in Miami. She's, like, not at all in Iceland.
I have no idea what's going on. And the way Angela/the woman spoke to me in the cafe had the cadence and softness that Angela had, and in my memory, lost, starting the morning of the skiing after the incident with Trilly and the dog. For some reason I'm fully back there in my memory now, realizing that that was the first morning of "the new Angela", the one that seemed to have no emotional memory of me at all. Like, the Iceland Angela seemed more like the "before" Angela.
I haven't replied to the text. I have no idea if it was bachelorette party Miami Angela or Iceland Angela that sent me the message, the area code is from neither Angela's hometown or Iceland.
I need advice, I have no idea what to do or who to talk to. Do I reply to the text? What do I say? I feel like the real Angela is fucking trapped in Iceland or something and has been for a long time. Or I don't even know. I have no idea what to do.