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himself, hip, hire, his, historic, historical, history, hit, hold, hole, holiday, holy, home, homeless, honest, honey, honor, hope, horizon, horror, horse, hospital, host, hot, hotel, hour, house, household, housing, how, however, huge, human, humor, hundred, hungry, hunter, hunting, hurt, husband, hypothesis, ice, idea, ideal, identification, identify, identity, ignore, ill, illegal, illness, illustrate, image, imagination, imagine, immediate, immediately, immigrant, immigration, impact, implement, implication, imply, importance, important, impose, impossible, impress, impression, impressive, improve, improvement, incentive, incident, include, including, income, incorporate, increase, increased, increasingly, incredible, indeed, independence, independent, index, indicate, indication, individual, industrial, industry, infant, infection, inflation, influence, inform, information, ingredient, initial, initially, initiative, injury, inner, innocent, inquiry, inside, insight, insist, 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night, nine, no, nobody, nod, noise, nomination, nominee, none, nonetheless, nor, normal, normally, north, northern, nose, not, note, nothing, notice, notion, novel, now, nowhere, nuclear, number, numerous, nurse, nut, object, objective, obligation, observation, observe, observer, obtain, obvious, obviously, occasion, occasionally, occupation, occupy, occur, ocean, odd, odds, of, off, offense, offensive, offer, office, officer, official, often, oh, oil, okay, old, Olympic, on, once, one, ongoing, onion, online, only, onto, open, opening, operate, operating, operation, operator, opinion, opponent, opportunity, oppose, opposed, opposite, opposition, option, or, orange, order, ordinary, organic, organization, organize, orientation, origin, original, originally, other, others, otherwise, ought, our, ours, ourselves, out, outcome, outside, oven, over, overall, overcome, overlook, owe, own, owner, pace, pack, package, page, pain, painful, paint, painter, painting, pair, pale, Palestinian, palm, pan, panel, panic, pant, paper, paragraph, parent, park, parking, part, participant, participate, participation, particle, particular, particularly, partly, partner, partnership, party, pass, passage, passenger, passion, past, patch, path, patient, pattern, pause, pay, payment, PC, peace, peak, peer, pen, penalty, people, pepper, per, perceive, percentage, perception, perfect, perfectly, perform, performance, perhaps, period, permanent, permission, permit, person, personal, personality, personally, personnel, perspective, persuade, pet, phase, phenomenon, philosophy, phone, photo, photographer, phrase, physical, physically, physician, piano, pick, picture, pie, piece, pile, pilot, pine, pink, pipe, pitch, place, plan, plane, planet, planning, plant, plastic, plate, platform, play, player, please, pleasure, plenty, plot, plus, PM, pocket, poem, poet, poetry, point, police, policy, political, politically, politician, politics, poll, pollution, pool, poor, pop, popular, population, 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relatively, relax, release, relevant, relief, religion, religious, rely, remain, remaining, remarkable, remember, remind, remote, remove, repeat, repeatedly, replace, replacement, reply, report, reporter, represent, representation, representative, Republican, reputation, request, require, requirement, research, researcher, resemble, reservation, resident, residential, resign, resist, resistance, resolution, resolve, resort, resource, respect, respond, response, responsibility, responsible, rest, restaurant, restore, restriction, result, retain, retire, retirement, return, reveal, revenue, review, revolution, rhythm, rice, rich, rid, ride, rifle, right, ring, rise, risk, river, road, rock, role, roll, romantic, roof, room, root, rope, rose, rough, roughly, round, route, routine, row, rub, rubber, rude, ruin, rule, run, running, rural, rush, Russian, sacred, sad, safe, safety, sake, salad, salary, sale, sales, salt, same, sample, sanction, sand, satellite, satisfaction, satisfied, satisfy, sauce, save, saving, say, scale, scandal, scare, scatter, scenario, scene, schedule, scheme, scholar, scholarship, school, science, scientific, scientist, scope, score, scream, screen, script, sea, search, season, seat, second, secondary, secret, secretary, section, sector, secure, security, see, seed, seek, seem, segment, seize, select, selection, self, sell, Senate, senator, send, senior, sense, sensitive, sentence, separate, sequence, series, serious, seriously, servant, serve, service, session, set, setting, settle, settlement, seven, several, severe, sex, sexual, shade, shadow, shake, shall, shallow, shape, share, sharp, she, sheet, shelf, shell, shelter, shift, shine, ship, shirt, shock, shoe, shoot, shooting, shop, shopping, short, shortly, shot, should, shoulder, shout, show, shower, shrug, shut, shy, sibling, sick, side, sigh, sight, sign, signal, significant, significantly, silence, silent, silver, similar, similarly, simple, simply, sin, since, sing, singer, single, sink, sir, sister, sit, site, situation, six, size, ski, skill, skin, skirt, sky, slave, sleep, slice, slide, slight, slightly, slip, slow, slowly, small, smart, smell, smile, smoke, smooth, snap, snow, so, so-called, soccer, social, society, soft, software, soil, solar, soldier, sole, solid, solution, solve, some, somebody, somehow, someone, something, sometimes, somewhat, somewhere, son, song, soon, sophisticated, sorry, sort, soul, sound, soup, source, south, southern, Soviet, space, Spanish, speak, speaker, special, specialist, species, specific, specifically, specify, speech, speed, spend, spending, spin, spirit, spiritual, split, spoil, sponsor, sport, spot, spray, spread, spring, square, squeeze, stability, stable, staff, stage, stain, stair, stake, stand, standard, standing, star, stare, start, state, statement, station, statistical, status, stay, steady, steal, steel, steep, stem, step, stick, still, stimulate, stimulus, stir, stock, stomach, stone, stop, storage, store, storm, story, straight, strange, stranger, strategic, strategy, stream, street, strength, strengthen, stress, stretch, strike, string, strip, stroke, strong, strongly, structural, structure, struggle, student, studio, study, stuff, stupid, style, subject, submit, subsequent, substance, substantial, substitute, succeed, success, successful, successfully, such, sudden, suddenly, sue, suffer, sufficient, sugar, suggest, suggestion, suicide, suit, summer, summit, sun, super, supply, support, supporter, suppose, supposed, Supreme, sure, surely, surface, surgery, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprisingly, surround, survey, survival, survive, survivor, suspect, sustain, swear, sweep, sweet, swim, swing, switch, symbol, symptom, system, table, tactic, tail, take, tale, talent, talk, tall, tank, tap, tape, target, task, taste, tax, taxi, tea, teach, teacher, teaching, team, tear, technical, technique, technology, teen, teenager, telephone, telescope, television, tell, temperature, temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, trick, trip, troop, trouble, truck, true, truly, trust, truth, try, tube, tunnel, turn, TV, twelve, twenty, twice, twin, two, type, typical, typically, ugly, ultimate, ultimately, unable, uncle, undergo, understand, understanding, unfortunately, uniform, union, unique, unit, United, universal, universe, university, unknown, unless, unlike, until, unusual, up, upon, upper, urban, urge, us, use, used, useful, user, usual, usually, utility, utilize, vacation, valley, valuable, value, variable, variation, variety, various, vary, vast, vegetable, vehicle, venture, version, versus, very, vessel, veteran, via, victim, victory, video, view, viewer, village, violate, violation, violence, violent, virtually, virtue, virus, visibility, visible, vision, visit, visitor, visual, vital, voice, volume, voluntary, volunteer, vote, voter, voting, wage, wait, wake, walk, wall, wander, want, war, warm, warn, warning, wash, waste, watch, water, wave, way, we, weak, weakness, wealth, wealthy, weapon, wear, weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.

I was looking to purchase a Moen pull-down sprayer kitchen faucet and multiple reviews mention the attachment between the sprayer and the plastic hose as a part that eventually cracks and leaks.
When I look at pull-out faucets it seems the hose is attached in a different way that seems more solid.
Are pullout sprayer faucets more reliable than pull-down?
I'm talking about this style of faucet https://www.moen.ca/products/Nori/Nori-Chrome-One-Handle-High-Arc-Pulldown-Kitchen-Faucet/87066
Vs. something like this https://www.moen.ca/products/Method/Method-Spot-Resist-Stainless-One-Handle-Pullout-Kitchen-Faucet/7585SRS

In the process of making some decisions for a new build.
For kitchen, washroom vanity, shower faucets, with our upgrades we are looking at an additional cost of roughly $10,000 Canadian (from their standard offerings).
This is for the entire home (~3000 sq feet) if we go with the Nicoli line with Delta (in champagne bronze color).
The builder standard package consists of the Moen Genta series in chrome.
Question is - Is it better value/more cost effective to get the upgrades through the builder or would it be cheaper to get the standard package from the builder and post possession buy the faucets ourselves and have a plumber replace the standard offerings from the builder?

In the process of making some decisions for a new build.
For kitchen, washroom vanity, shower faucets, with our upgrades we are looking at an additional cost of roughly $10,000 Canadian (from their standard offerings).
This is for the entire home (~3000 sq feet) if we go with the Nicoli line with Delta (in champagne bronze color).
The builder standard package consists of the Moen Genta series in chrome.
Question is - Is it better value/more cost effective to get the upgrades through the builder or would it be cheaper to get the standard package from the builder and post possession buy the faucets ourselves and have a plumber replace the standard offerings from the builder?

In the process of making some decisions for a new build.
For kitchen, washroom vanity, shower faucets, with our upgrades we are looking at an additional cost of roughly $10,000 Canadian (from their standard offerings).
This is for the entire home (~3000 sq feet) if we go with the Nicoli line with Delta (in champagne bronze color).
The builder standard package consists of the Moen Genta series in chrome.
Question is - Is it better value/more cost effective to get the upgrades through the builder or would it be cheaper to get the standard package from the builder and post possession buy the faucets ourselves and have a plumber replace the standard offerings from the builder?

Heeeeey ! I’m back with a review and managed to tackle it entirely before the HSR update (yes I play the game). Also sorry for the weird/lack of formatting, we don't have internet anymore for a (long ?) while and my data are too poor for my laptop to use properly, but I did my best on phone. Without further ado, let’s start !
Card review : Luke - Spice and Synergy
As always, the notation is subjective, especially the art one.
Art : 4.5/5
Story plot : 9/10
Story writing : 5/5
Total : 18.5/20
Review summary :
After finishing a co-op game together, Luke and Rosa decide to register in a cooking vlog competition related to the game in order to win limited edition merch. In a warm, cozy and harmonious atmosphere, they tackle this challenge which will bring unforgettable memories.
Review act per act :
Act 1
Luke is tossing ingredients in a frying pan from far away and as the oil is splattering, Rosa hurriedly gives him the lid as a protection. Luke comments that cooking felt more like a physical skill test than any combat. Rosa confirms, remembering how she mentioned trying to challenge themselves to cook. A few hours ago. As the credit of the game finished rolling, Luke and Rosa finally got the perfect ending in a game called Monster Kitchen. Rosa complains on how hard the last stage was, Luke agreeing and saying the game should have been called Torture Kitchen instead. Rosa recalls how they had to avoid traps, collect ingredients in a maze to be able to cook a dish called Surf and Turf to convince the devil in the castle. She says that the guides were correct when they said getting the perfect end was a matter of luck before collapsing into bed like Luke, who immediately hugs her. He says that it's not totally luck since it's because of their marvelous cooperation. He takes his phone and asks her what she wants to eat as a celebration. Rosa tells him she is going to check reviews and recommendations. As she is taking her phone, she is distracted by a Big Data Lab notification, sharing with her an article Sherluke_Polmes, an account Luke created to play Monster Kitchen, was just reading. She clicks on the article and sees it's a Monster Kitchen Culinary Competition, which consists of bringing the food from the game to reality by recording and uploading vlogs. The prize includes limited-edition merch, absolutely unique in the world. Rosa looks at Luke and she sees that he is reading the same page but he looks conflicted. She guesses he really wants the merch but considering both of their skills with cooking it might be difficult. But still, Rosa thinks that since they only have to recreate the dishes on a visual level, they still have a chance. Feeling confident, she asks Luke if he wants to join. He asks the question back and Rosa guesses that he is worried about her pushing herself to do something she doesn't want, since Monster Kitchen is a coop-game, so must the competition be, meaning they would have to enter together. She tells him that she wants to and seeing how confident she looks, he agreed too. But they underestimated their task severely. Back in the present moment, they keep on coughing as Luke turns the fume extractor on. Inside the pan is burnt rice and sauce, stuck to the bottom. Luke complains, saying he was following exactly what the cooking guide which came with the guide said. As he is doing so, smoke starts to rise again from the pan, so Rosa pulls him away, asking if he is fine. Luke says he is but on another side looks disappointed. Rosa wonders if the substitute they used wasn't good enough. Since the ingredients in the game have particular lore and background, they obviously can't find them in real life, so they used substitutes with similar looking stuff, but it failed. Rosa complains how hard it is and Luke mentions they have to buy new ingredients. Luke rubs his eyes and then explains to a worried Rosa that smoke must have got into it and he is going to wash them. Rosa checks his eye and it is red and teary. She takes a wet wipe and softly cleans the corner of his eye. Luke then blinks several times and explains that he might still have onion's juice on his hands so it might explain... He is suddenly interrupted by a loud noise. On the other side of the kitchen, white smoke is coming out from the pot they forgot where they were making soup. Luke instinctively takes Rosa in his arms to protect her from the erupting water. Panicked, she asks him if he was okay, fearing that some boiling water burned him.
Sher(lock)luke_P(earce)(H)olmes, what a genius username I love this so much hahaha ! I wonder how it is in other languages… Also Luke Rosa living the most awesome cozy dream of being a gamer couple, I live for it, like, isn't it literally the dream to just spend time with your partner (or one of your friends) playing co-op-games together and frequently ? Wow, I would love to have this omg
Act 2
Rosa asks Luke if he is okay, which he confirms but knowing him. Keeping her in his arms, he turns off the stove. Rosa asks him to see his back and before he can stop her, she tugs on his shirt and pulls his collar. She sees how red the back of his neck is red. Rosa asks him if he needs to go to the hospital but he refuses saying it's not worth. Luke reassures her again as she was expressing her worry, adding that he needs to change now since he is dirty. Rosa tells him she is going to fetch the first aid kit in case and he agrees. He wants to touch her cheek as an habit but since he is covered in oil and stains, he stops and simply says that he will be back. Rosa is searching for the first aid kit and when she takes it out, a medal falls at the same time. It seems pretty worn out and has the words "Gold Medal in Microbiology Fun Lab Competition" written in front and "National Central University" in the back. Luke comes out of the shower at this moment so Rosa tells him she found the medal while searching for the first aid kit. He asks her if she is curious about it and she tells him that she is but that he is the most important right now. Rosa wraps her arms around his waist and look at his back but Luke tells her there's no need to check as he already did and he is just a bit red. He takes her hands to stop her and she insists. Giving up, he turns his back to her so that she can check. Indeed, there are only small red parts on his back which isn't serious. He tells her that it doesn't need the hospital and she agrees. Luke comments on how he must work on gaining her confidence next time before commenting that it was a good trade. She doesn't understand so he gets closer to her and says that they have to get the ultimate victory before getting a champion medal in Monster Kitchen but he got a champion medal now without even winning anything. She laughs, then tell him to settle down so that she can check for sure if he is fine. He tenses up as she continues to examine him. At some point she asks him to turn, which he reluctantly does and she discovers a crimson swathe which he was hiding. Luke struggles to explain himself and Rosa grabs him before he manages to escape. Commenting on how he needs to improve his reliability, she tells him to let her treat him. She tells him to lay on his stomach on the bed while she applies ointment and he obeys without saying anything. Looking more closely, even the splotches on his back seem very red. As Rosa starts applying it, she asks if it hurts and Luke says that it doesn't and she can even press harder if needed. He burries his head into his arms while she continues asking how he feels. Luke asks to stop since he hasn't cleaned up the kitchen yet but Rosa, starting to feel hot and ticklish, insists on treating him first. Luke relents and rests on his elbow. Rosa guesses he also feels awkward in the situation so she changes the topic to the medal she found earlier by asking him how he got it. He explains that it was worth an experiment where they used microbes as ink to draw shapes on a petri dish. Rosa asks him about it by repeating what he said but she is distracted by her feelings as she is treating him. Luke explains to her how it works and she comments that it sounds hard. He denies and as he continues to explain, he lets out a grunt, which worries Rosa, who asks him if she hurts him. He denies, telling that he is just not used to being touched there and she can continue. Luke turns to her and smiles to reassure her and as she is about to resume, a phone call interrupts the moment. Luke picks up his phone and freezes as he was about to stand up as his habit. Rosa tells him she is going to continue putting ointment while he is talking to the phone. On the other side of the line is an event organizer for the Monster Kitchen vlog contest, who is calling to check the participants' information. To not disturb him, Rosa tries to be more careful and delicate but it backfires, making Luke grunt once again. He however manages to continue his phone call. Once it's over, suddenly, he jumps out of bed and their positions are quickly reversed. He complains to her that she probably did it on purpose. Rosa denies, but he says doesn't trust her. He nuzzles her nose with his, starts caressing her face, and says how he almost made weird noises on the phone so she must pay for mental damage she caused to his psyche. Rosa asks him how she's going to pay that, and he tells her to figure it out. She hugs him and nuzzles her nose like he did earlier. She asks him if it's enough and Luke says no, so she adds that she is going to help him clean the house and think of a way to solve their kitchen problem too. Luke sighs loudly before kissing her. He then says that now it's a worthy compensation. She hugs him, touched by his gesture.
They are so funny and cute and Rosa knows how little care Luke has for himself so the fact she knew he got burnt more than he let on was satisfying kinda.
Act 3
They tidy up everything, then take off the curtains, bedding, Luke's clothes and wash them. Once done, they each carry a basket of laundry downstairs. In the courtyard, a lot of other residents’ beddings are already hung outside. Luke picks an empty corner to set the clothesline then, as he waves at Rosa, he calls her "dear" and asks her to hand her the "item". She realizes he just said a line from Monster Kitchen so she answers back with a line from the game while handing him bedsheets. He recites another line as an answer and she feels a bit flustered. Rosa tells him to stop and work or they won't be able to dry this today but Luke jokingly answers that he calculated that they should still be able to dry even if they layer them. Rosa asks him if he can calculate things like that and asks if he has a laundry guide. He starts hanging the sheets she hands him and confirms what she just said, adding that the guides are his exclusive tricks so he will only tell about them with certain conditions. He says she should get full score achievement in the "Monster Kitchen Castle Combat" like they did in the game and he will think about how to do that in real life. What he mentioned is a challenge triggered each time the player doesn't complete the cleaning task as the requirements, where the protagonists need to build a maze castle with bedsheets before beginning a chase. When one side wins more than 100 times, they get the extra achievement. Rosa says they don't have a castle IRL, then covers Luke with a bedsheet, saying that the combat part is still doable. Luke, surprised, lifts the sheets and says no ambushes allowed. Rosa gets back saying that it's fair in love and war and he always ambushes her in game. He counters saying he lets her know every time in advance. He lifts the bedsheet even more, telling that it won't be easy the next round. Rosa asks who said there was a next round and why don't they wrap it with only one round since it happens like that in Monster Kitchen Castle Combat. She announces she is going to make her victory speech and Luke argues that he just let her win but he agrees to listen to her. She starts by calling him Monster warrior and asking for his laundry secret. While laughing, he agrees to tell her : his secret is the thermodynamic equation. By applying them to the sunlight intensity, the temperature and humidity, you can get results. Rosa asked how he even thought about doing that and he tells her it's because of the medal she found earlier. Luke explains that since microbes needs specific conditions to grow, he did plenty of preparation before the competition. He suddenly think about how they should approach their recreation the Surf and Turf dish using the same way. Rosa asks if he suggests using science to do it and he confirms, saying they should disassemble the task into a scientific experiment. Seemingly excited, Luke explains that he was thinking about it since she found the medal and now that they talked about thermodynamics he got a clearer idea. She reaches out to him, saying she is "ready to complete the greatest challenge of her life with him" and asks about him, with a line from the game, said right before the final battle. He answers with a line from the game too and after putting the bedsheet over their head as a veil, he gently kisses her, saying he "needs to borrow some courage from her before the challenge". She softly answers that she will need to borrow some too.
Okaaaaay so I never understood his living place like this ?? Wdym other residents ?? I thought he owned a 3 floor kind of residence/house with his antique shop, detective agency and private apartment on each of those floors so he had no close enough neighbors to share stuff with them… Or is that like a housing residence with a common courtyard in the back but everyone has his own house ? On another side they are so cuteeeeeee Luke's smile is a 10/10 there, he looks so soft and pure awnnn
Act 4
At 4PM, they pick up the dried curtains and sheets before going to buy some other ingredients. The rules indicate that they have two days after registering to submit their video so the deadline is the next day, in the evening. They don't have the time to replace the broken pressure cooker where the soup was nor the also broken electrical stove on which it was cooking, so they head to Rosa's house instead to cook. After dinner, they check the ingredients they bought and Luke estimates that with the amount they got they have at least five attempts to make the dish. Luke writes in his notebook their ingredients and the issues they have encountered previously as well as solutions to those. Rosa comments on how she really feels like it's an experiment and Luke tells her he has to be meticulous with it especially since it'll help later. He writes the lines describing the dish from the game and pauses, asking out loud what they are going to do for the sauce recipe. Rosa comments that doing the same as in game will be hard so maybe they should stick to their previous method of using substitutes. Luke says that's a good idea but it would require a number of experiments. She tells him they can take the time to do so. She takes his hand, exactly like the protagonists from Monster Kitchen do every time, and quotes a line, telling him their fight is about to begin. He answers with a line from the game too, looking at her tenderly. After a while, they have a table full of saucer with different sauces, their failed experiments. Rosa asks Luke which version they are working on and he answers the version 34, which is too sour. Luke, along with the observations they previously made, lists the ingredients and quantities they have to use. He scratches off a line he wrote, then starts to mix some condiments precisely. Rosa tries it and comments that version 35 is not sour anymore and feels refreshing and sweet instead. Luke comments that the color isn't red as in game though and their sauce is brown. Luke and Rosa wonder about ingredients red enough to stay the same color after being boiled and which doesn't affect the taste. Rosa suddenly has an idea and takes out some small vegetables from her fridge, which Luke recognizes as being carrots they bought just to get a discount. Rosa corrects him saying it's beetroots and that they can be used as natural dye. Luke, excited, tells her they should use it. So a while after, with 2 more pages of the notebook written on and their table filled with reddish sauces, they finally managed to replicate a sauce of the same color and texture as in the game. Luke falls on the sofa, commenting on how hard it is. While the color looks good now, the taste is still a problem. In the game description, the sauce first has a sour and spicy taste, then becomes sweet and refreshing but theirs lack this sweetness. Rosa complains that they have tried so many times that her tongue feels numb and suggests combining all their datas now and see where they can improve. Luke tells her he will do it so she can rest first. Then, taking his notebook, he tells her that despite the experiment being a hassle it's way better than doing research on his own in the lab. Rosa realizes that Luke seems really marked by his microbe drawing competition. He says that he almost forgot it but the medal made him remember. He suddenly says it was lonely. She went closer to him to listen more. Luke explains that since it was an individual competition, he had to do everything alone and he didn't even sleep properly to be able to watch the results from his cultivation. Luke says that at the time, he was thinking how it would be nice if Rosa was next to him because he wouldn't have made that many mistakes with her there. He says that he feels his dream came true and Rosa asks him why he makes it sound like she is someone special. Luke says she is since she is his goddess of victory. She burries her face in his chest, feeling overwhelmed with feelings. Luke tells her to rest since he is almost finished to what she argues that she is not tired he is just comfortable to lean on. Luke insists on her sleeping and brushes her brow and she slowly falls asleep.
I’m seriously wondering how bad they can be at cooking when they managed to break the appliances by forgetting it on the stove, which also has broken, and the way they prepare themselves to try to do the whole recipe 5 times… But wow I admire their dedication to make such a detailed experiment to recreate that dish… Honestly, I love to see someone so serious and dedicated to their hobbies haha
Act 5
Rosa wakes up in a bright room, not remembering how she fell asleep. She looks at the sofa and sees Luke sound asleep, collar and corner of his mouth stained with red coloring and she wonders if he continued to experiment with the sauce when she fell asleep. A bit amused, she decides to wipe him. Rosa is a bit surprised to see that he didn't wake up as she started to clean him but still continues and brushes at some point against his lips, which makes his eyelids flutter. Her odd feeling is confirmed then and she guesses that he is pretending to be asleep, which makes her have an idea. Rosa loudly complains on how hard it is to wipe the collar as she rubs the wipe forcefully against him. Luke stops pretending and while pouting catches her hand and sits up. She laughs telling him he was awake after all but he corrects her and says he woke up when she leaned on him. Rosa compliments him and tell him to control his eyelids next time. Luke says she has to provide a better reward for him to do that. He hugs her and make her lie down with him. A bit embarrassed, she reminds him they have to work on something serious now. Smiling, Luke snuggle against her, telling her they need to wash up first. After doing so and eating breakfast, Luke shows Rosa the result of the experiment he got by improving their findings : the version 42. He asks her to taste it and she confirms that it's exactly how she imagined what it tasted like : a hint of unami flavor and a sour-spicy mixture. Luke informs her he noted the amount of ingredients down to every grams and how to make it. He filled already half of his notebook and put stickers on each pages to sort the infos. Rosa asks him if he turned his notebook into an encyclopedia and he confirms, saying he just wanted to be as meticulous as possible. She mentions that they should film it when doing their video. Luke eyes light up before realizing that despite all the preparations, his cooking skills can't guarantee success. Rosa suggests breaking down the task again and if she makes a mistake, he can cover for her. He agrees and she tells him they should make one last check. Luke adjusts the lights and filming equipment while Rosa takes out the ingredients from the fridge. They start the recording and get to work. Luke gives out instructions to her while reading the notebook and Rosa follows, but despite this, since she isn't used to tossing the pan, a lot of rice falls outside the pot. Luke reassures her despite being nervous too. He continues to instruct her but she realizes at some point they didn't dice some of their ingredients. Luke tells her he did and shows her different containers lined up next to her. Rosa asks him when he did that to which he answers during the preparations. She tells him how she is glad he is here because she wouldn't have time to do the prep and Luke tells her that him doing the preparation and her taking the lead is teamwork and he won't let it fail. She says how she wants to win too, finally understanding why she was so eager to join the competition. In the end, they manage to finish their paella without a hitch. Rosa asks how they are going to edit their vlog now and Luke says they first need a title. She asks if he has an idea but his first two ones are rejected. After a moment of thinking, he decides on "The Warriors' Honor Challenge" and she agrees, saying it sounds like it comes from the game. Luke takes the camera still recording and moves it from the food to Rosa, saying that the warriors who worked diligently should now harvest the fruits of their victory.
They are cute and fluffy aaaa but really once again their dedication should earn them a prize even if they don’t win 1st
Act 6
On another weekend, a few weeks later, at Luke's home. Rosa is on the sofa, scrolling on the comments from the cooking challenge event. Their entry was selected as outstanding entry and despite not ranking high overall, the official account gave them the award of most outstanding innovation. Rosa laughs so Luke puts his controller away and asks her what she saw. She shows him the comments that made her laugh but he doesn't respond so Rosa doesn't know if he is stunned with joy or shocked to be called professional chefs by the netizens. Pretending to hold a mic, she asks him if Mr "Professional Chef" has something to say. Luke answers that the filming of this vlog was a pain so it's great it didn't disappoint them. Rosa asks him how he feels about receiving an award and he says he feels like he isn't confident enough but receiving the title makes him a bit excited. Looking and sounding joyful, he says that seeing her being so happy and smiley makes him glad. Rosa says that it's normal to be happy since their hard work paid off and they fulfilled a small wish. Before he can ask about it, a delivery man rings and screams for Luke, so he rushes to the door, exclaiming that it must be the prize they won. Rosa feels glad to have involved him in the competition seeing his reaction. Once unwrapped from the cardboard the gift package stills takes up the whole table. She pushes the box towards him, asking him to open it for them but Luke tells her to do so since she wanted it. Rosa pauses and tells him she wanted to participate to help him get the limited edition merch which makes him puzzled. Luke says that the Big Data Lab told him that she spent a lot of time looking at the event page so he thought she was interested. Rosa also tells him how the Big Data Lab told her he was the one looking at this, but thinking back, she was the one initiating the conversation about it and his expression made her think he wanted to join. Luke realizes that it was a misunderstanding and Rosa comments that she doesn't know if she should thank the algorithm for being smart or, Luke finishes her sentence, be happy they are so in sync they always end up on the same page. They decide to unwrap it together... Only to reveal another box. Looking closely at it, she realizes that there is a maze on it with two small balls inside. Luke explains that it's a labyrinth lock and pulls out a card from the cardboard wrapping which asks them if they are ready to face the special challenge even in reality. Luke summarizes that the instructions explain that if the two balls fall in the designated spot at the same time, the box will open. They comment on how it's like the challenge they faced with their vlog. They laugh at each other and get ready to tackle the labyrinth, Luke placing himself behind Rosa and putting his hands on hers. Carefully, they sync up and tackle the puzzle together. As Rosa was celebrating their victory a bit early, one of the balls almost ended up in a dead end. Luke reassures her, telling her to be calm. They carry on, focused and steady, in harmony. Then the balls reach their destination at the same time, the box opens and reveals a paper lantern in the shape of their playable characters in game hand in hand, which recreate the scenery of the players returning home after finishing the final boss. Rosa comments on how detailed it is but Luke says it's not good enough, which surprises her. She looks at him and sees that he is way closer to her now. He tells her to remember the perfect ending before planting a kiss on her neck and saying "We rely on each other and help one another. That's how we can reach our destination", which are the final lines in the game. Luke tells her how that is now a more faithful recreation of the scene. Both their tender feelings in harmony, he carefully reminds her how they are always in sync.
Oh wow, what a nice wrap up, I love how they in fact took the challenge to make the other happy and because they thought the other wanted to when in fact they both didn’t even consider their own feelings into the matter, that’s kinda endearing. A huge thanks to the lowkey too sentient Big Data Lab without which we couldn’t have gotten this card !
Personal opinion :
What I liked :
Okay, idk if it's because I literally JUST finished a game and felt lonely not being able to share the whole experience of playing it with someone, but the first act being just them having finished a game together was so sweet and filled some kind of void I felt IMMEDIATELY, and the rest of the card covered the rest with ointment and patched a little heart shaped band aid on all haha. I think that’s what made me like the game so much, the themes and their cute exchanges as they were saying the game’s lines and remembering when they played it, it just felt so nice, so my liking of this card is really biased.
Also, I loved the reminder that Luke is so smart and well versed in scientific topics, it was nice seeing him casually mention and remember his experiment and some notions he knows of.
What I disliked :
Not a strong dislike, but I would have loved to see a small part of their playthrough to immerse even more in the story but oh well
Would I recommend getting this story ?
If you like a fluffy, cozy card with hints of gaming elements inside, sure ! This card was very warm and enjoyable to read, especially the casual, comfortable atmosphere between Luke and Rosa. As a “Sweet Chapter SSR”, it’s not groundbreaking in terms of lore, but it feels very nice still !!

The size of my mana pool used to be a point of pride until I had to spend an hour tinkering with four rune enchantments. Then, I realized how shallow it was. Four rune enchantments required twice as much mana as three rune enchantments, and after a few tries, I was sweating cold. I couldn’t even imagine how much mana the creator of Firana’s fluttering cape had to pour into the enchantment to make seven runes work.
I reexamined my notes.
The cape creates a small wind current.
The cape recognizes its user.
The cape recognizes movement.
The cape recognizes direction.
The cape recognizes the user’s intent to activate the effect.
Finding the Wind and User runes wasn’t particularly difficult. As soon as Astrid failed to activate the wind pebble in my hand, the entries were added to the Rune Encyclopedia, which piqued my interest. To learn a new rune, I had to engrave it successfully and know its particular function inside the circuit. The Encyclopedia would not index any rune I randomly added to the mix.
I sighed. The remaining three runes played hard to get.
I considered the best way to decode the remaining tunes. I could always ask Loki to assist me. The Rune Debugger would help me outline the enchantments, and Loki would help me test them without spending massive quantities of mana. Convincing Loki wouldn’t be easy. He preferred to doze off near the stove and play with the kids. Elincia and Ginz ignored if the long sleeping schedule was normal Changeling behavior.
I left the desk and sat on the bed with my legs crossed. I focused on my mana pool. The next time I opened my eyes, I was in the circular room with walls covered in runes. Most of the runes were still unknown, but I noticed the User rune repeated every few lines. I decided to ignore the implications and focus on the bottom of my mana pool, where the walls were still shattered by Corruption.
The fight against the group of assassins didn’t do any favors for the patch of black Corruption on my chest. Still, it was a small fraction of the initial wound. It would disappear eventually, as long as I were a good enough teacher to get more [Favorite Teacher] stacks.
I focused on the Fountain, grabbing small strands of golden mana and adding them to my mana pool. Suddenly, the walls of my mana pool came to life, and the Fountain mana slowly turned blue as I assimilated it into my reserves. The patch of Corruption blocking a bigger patch of the runes slowed the process.
I only recharged a fraction of my mana pool before someone opened the bedroom door.
“Mister Clarke, blonde Firana wants to talk with you!” Nokti said with a big smile on her snake-like face.
“Blonde Firana?” I asked, just to realize who the snake girl was referring to. “Oh. Corin. Thanks, Nokti. I’ll be there in a second.”
The snake girl waited for me in the doorway and offered me her hand. I gladly accepted it, and we walked down the corridor to the kitchen. Looking through the windows, I saw my class sparring under the gray sky. I had to stop to take a second look. Was Risha blocking their swords with his bare hands?
I sighed. So much for the safety measures I had been engraving in the kids’ heads.
“What do you think of Risha?” I asked Nokti now that we were alone. It hadn’t passed a week, but Risha and Astrid seemed to fit well into the manor’s life—at least with the orphans. Elincia didn’t seem entirely on board with having them around. Some wounds took time to heal completely.
The snake girl thought for a moment before answering.
“Risha is like Wolf but funnier, and his breakfast is good. I wonder if he likes potatoes,” Nokti happily replied.
“Yeah, I wonder,” I replied. The seven-year-old me would’ve pissed his pants at the sight of Risha, but the kids seemed accustomed to half-orcs. “It would be strange if he didn’t like potatoes, right?”
“Right,” Nokti nodded as we reached the kitchen. “I have to go back to play. Bye.”
I opened the door to find Elincia arguing with Astrid about the preserved fruits on Wolf’s birthday cake. I decided to ignore them. As much as they didn’t like each other, they had to find peace for themselves. In the corner of the table, Corin swiftly ate a bowl of gruel.
“You know you can chew, right?” I greeted her.
Corin jumped to her feet and swallowed without chewing.
“I have a message from Prince Adrien. It’s about the tournament,” she said. “I was told to inform you about a small change in the duel format. Prince Adrien decided to drop the point system and adopt the old imperial duel system to improve spectator attendance. That’s all.”
I blinked, confused.
“What is the old imperial duel system?” I asked, not sure if I would like the answer. Usually, there was an inverse correlation between the participants' safety and the audience's enjoyment.
Elincia stopped scolding Astrid and joined the conversation.
“The point system requires a referee, while the old imperial duel requires a Fortifier to set a certain amount of barriers around the participants,” she explained, biting her nails. “I’m afraid the change would disfavor the teams that can’t afford a Fortifier and haven’t trained under this ruleset.”
“Like us,” I pointed out. Only Ilya had fought with the Fortifier’s barrier around his body, which had happened once.
Elincia gave me a nervous look.
A smile crept onto my face. The secret technique I had taught Wolf and Zaon would be especially effective with the Fortifier barrier as a point system, but that wasn’t the main issue. I couldn’t help but smell foul play. As Elincia had pointed out, such a change in the rules would favor the richer families to the detriment of those who couldn’t afford a Fortifier.
“What’s the deal with that creepy smile?” Elincia asked.
“Don’t worry about it. The kids are ready,” I said. The changes in the rules weren’t drastic enough to worry about. “Corin, can you relay a message for me?”
The girl nodded.
“I need you to relay a message to Lady Lyra Jorn. She is currently staying at the Great Hall. Tell her we are worried about her delay, and she can turn to us if she needs anything,” I said.
I wasn’t really worried about Lyra’s well-being; she was the daughter of a duke and a guest of the Marquis at the end of the day. However, I couldn’t help but think that whoever held her back knew about the attack. It was one thing to attack an orphanage of commoners, and a completely different one was attacking the residence of a duke’s daughter.
I put a few bronze coins in Corin’s hand, a couple more than the usual rate, and excused myself, saying I needed to return to my workshop. Corin shoved a couple more spoonfuls of gruel into her mouth before speeding through the door into the backyard and around the manor.
Elincia grabbed my arm before I could leave.
“Do you think they changed the rules to reduce our possibilities of winning?” She asked.
Despite being a kid’s tournament, there was much at stake. Credibility, after all, was a heavy coin in politics.
“They are trying to improve their chances,” I replied.
Without us knowing, the tournament had already started.
It took me a couple of hours, Loki’s begrudging help, and a lot of Fountain Mana to figure out the rest of the runes. The three remaining runes were hard to grasp because they lacked an effect by themselves. Just as I had theorized, they worked as modifiers and conditions for the main effects.
The easiest to discover of the three was the Direction rune.
A Light-Direction-Gradual-Recharge circuit transformed a light stone into a flashlight. If I exchanged the Light rune for the Wind rune, I would have a hair dryer. I made a note to add a Fire rune to the mix to enchant a hair dryer that used warm air. Elincia would love to dry the kids’ hair in winter.
The last two runes were harder to decipher because they worked like logic gates. The Rune Encyclopedia tagged the first as Activation, which was nothing but an ‘if’ statement. The second rune was Movement, which was the condition for activation. It made perfect sense, considering how Firana’s cape worked. If there was movement, the effects activated.
I couldn’t yet comprehend how the Activation rune discriminated between regular movements, like walking or signaling, and the movements Firana made to activate the cape deliberately, let alone how it modified the Direction rune. I sighed, worried. If the System could read my memories, then it wouldn’t be surprising if it could determine people’s intent. As far as I understood, skills were activated by intent alone.
I stretched my back, and a wave of pleasure traveled through my body. A long day of work at the law firm never felt this good. My job at the orphanage was completely different. It had meaning.
Loki slept belly up on the desk, his whiskers and little feet moving as if he were having a bad dream. Much like the runeweaving process, Loki’s transformation also required a lot of energy. After several dozen failed attempts, Loki was exhausted, but we had a working prototype.
The cape’s circuit was Wind, User, Activation, Movement, Direction, Instantaneous, and Recharge. In other words, 'If the user activates the effect with a movement, create a wind current in the direction of the movement'. My prototype for the sling was Wind, User, Direction, Gradual, and Recharge. For starters, I didn’t think I could enchant more than five Runes simultaneously. Then came the problem of the ‘feel’ of the sling. As much as I wanted to power the shot, I also had to avoid making it uncontrollable.
“You did good work, buddy,” I said, scratching Loki’s belly.
He slapped my hand away with his little rat paw and grumbled something that sounded like his usual ‘damn beast’.
The excitement of the rune discovery slowly disappeared, and I couldn’t help but feel nervous. The Encyclopedia indexed the runes, yet the whole process still felt esoteric. In the worst case, I could delay Wolf’s gift and try the enchantment again tomorrow when I had more mana.
I grabbed my notes, put Loki inside my pocket, and exited the room.
Ginz was inclined over his workshop table, working on a piece of leather.
“The Ginz I used to know would have the order ready by now,” I taunted him from the doorway.
Ginz grunted.
“Knowing the idiot who commissioned this sling, I decided to make it as sturdy as possible,” he replied, applying a coat of dark liquid all over the leather. “It’s Skeeth oil. It will make the Laughing Fox leather even more resistant.”
“Sounds good, I guess,” I said.
As socially inept Ginz was, he knew craftsmanship backward and forwards.
“You should start respecting me, Robbo. My inventions have become so popular among nobles that I got an invitation to see the tournament from the VIP section,” Ginz added with a huge grin.
“Do you mean my inventions?” I laughed.
“Our inventions,” Ginz pointed out with a laugh.
I smiled back, and I sat by the sideline. Just like watching Elincia brewing potions, watching Ginz work was soothing.
“Corin brought the payments for the last shipment,” Ginz said, vaguely pointing toward the cabinet near the door with his brush. “Most of the nobles already commissioned their decks of cards, so we can move to phase two. Use crap materials and expand the market to commoners.”
On top of the cabinet was a leather pouch full of gold and silver. With that amount, Ginz could’ve been considered the breadwinner of the orphanage, but I avoided saying it not to overfeed his ego. I had to admit, Ginz had a good nose for business.
“I took some of it to pay my debt to the Odrac-Aias loan sharks,” Ginz added. “I thought cutting all ties with them would be best.”
“Good call,” I said.
Our alliance with the royalist faction had dissuaded Kellaren from attempting anything against the orphanage so far. Despite being the most obvious suspect, I was starting to doubt his participation in the last attack. If Kellaren were allied with the Osgirians, a direct attack on royalist allies would be too dangerous for the kingdom's cohesion. Whether I liked it or not, Osgirians needed the rest of the noble houses to fill their pockets with money. Without a seller and a buyer, there were no trade routes.
Ginz summoned a high-intensity white flame from the tip of his finger and passed it over the Skeeth oil-impregnated piece of leather. A pungent, acrid smell filled the room. My eyes teared up, and I had to cover my nose and mouth with my shirt.
“The fumes are toxic. I recommend you get to the window,” Ginz said, unfazed by the stench.
I opened the guillotine-style window and threw the entire top half of my body out of the workshop. Outside, the older kids were still training with Risha while the smaller ones ran near the farm plot. Elincia had loosened the rules about playing outside as the days became warmer.
The little ones waved at me, and I did my best to hide my tears.
After a minute, Ginz said, “We need a development fund. I want to start experimenting with magical materials. Maybe that way, we could bring your crazy ideas to life.”
“I’ll make sure to put some money aside when I review our books,” I coughed.
Ginz continued working in silence, unfazed by the putrid fumes, until, half an hour later, he announced the sling was ready. I left my position near the window and approached the working bench. I was left without words.
“The rope is made with braided Shrewmouse Flax, and the pouch is made of Laughing Fox leather treated with Skeeth Oil. You can probably tie up a Wendigo with it,” Ginz said, proud of his work. “I branded a wolf on the pouch. It’s Wolf’s name and his tribe’s guardian animal. I thought it was fitting for the occasion.”
Ginz craftsmanship was astonishing.
“I guess it’s my turn now,” I said. Elincia wouldn’t be happy when she knew Ginz was aware of my enchanting powers.
I grabbed the sling and hoped for the best.
I inscribed the runes' outline on the pouch's outer side, aiming the Direction rune in the opposite direction of the spin so it would speed the sling up instead of slowing it down. Then, I opened my mana reserves and poured a wave of magic into the circuit. The runes drank the mana like desert sand, and for a moment, I thought I wouldn’t have enough to complete the enchantment. I tapped into the Fountain to slowly replenish my reserves as the circuit continued to ask for more.
You have obtained Mana Depletion (Minor). Temporary
I brushed the prompt off, knowing a minor mana depletion stack would be gone by morning. A moment later, without announcement or fanfare, the circuit closed.
“Did it work?” Ginz asked, his eyes shining with amazement.
“I don’t know,” I replied. The runes were there, but the actual effect might vary from what I had in mind. “Do you know how to use a sling?”
“Please,” he raised an eyebrow and snatched the sling from my hands.
Ginz examined our creation as if he were trying to detect any difference in the materials. Then, he pulled a small metal ball from one of the drawers and put it in the pouch. As much as I wanted to keep the present a secret until the last moment, I wasn’t entirely on board with testing it indoors.
“What now?” Ginz asked.
“Make it spin and channel a little mana,” I said.
The sling started spinning, slowly at first, then faster and faster. I moved out of the way and crouched behind the desk. I noticed a small problem. The enchantment would have benefited from an abort mechanism, but I lacked the knowledge or the mana to implement it. Once in movement, one had to shoot.
The sling slipped through Ginz’s fingers, and the metal bullet flew across the room. A vase of wine that rested on top of the shelf burst into thousands of pieces, and the bullet ended up embedded in the wood. We exchanged a knowing look just to burst into laughter.
The wind-powered sling was a success.
New recipe achieved! Updating Rune Encyclopedia. Robert’s Wind Sling added to the recipes tab.
That looked good, but it will have to wait.
“I guess I’m going. I haven’t even greeted Wolf today,” I said, grabbing the sling and walking to the door.
Ginz gave me a quizzical look.
“You will help me clean up the wine, right?” He asked. “Right? Rob?”
I smiled, hoping that would help teach Ginz to warn me before gassing me out with toxic fumes. I closed the door behind me and whistled through the eastern wing and into the backyard. The enchantment, although crude in some respects, had been a success.
“Happy Birthday, Wolf!” I yelled across the backyard.
The kids stopped the light sparring session and came to greet me.
“Shouldn’t we be celebrating Wolf’s birthday instead of sparring?” I asked. During Ilya and Firana’s birthdays, we spent most of the time inside, eating, dancing, and chatting. Even if it was the day before the tournament, I didn’t see why we couldn’t have a lovely, relaxed celebration.
Firana jumped forward because anyone could reply. Her face told me she was discontent with the day's activities. “Wolf said he wanted to spar like any other day, so here we are. This is by far the lamest birthday ever!”
“It is,” Ilya nodded.
The sudden attack made Wolf all flustered.
“What?! I enjoy our regular training schedule. There’s nothing better than training the body and the mind to become stronger,” he muttered.
It was the first time I had seen Wolf so flushed, but that wasn’t enough for the girls to stop their attack.
“And here I thought Zaon was the teacher’s pet,” Firana sighed.
“I thought it was Ilya,” Zaon jokingly said just to earn a murderous glance from the girls.
“Enough of that. Firana, you are in charge of sorting today's training material. The sparring is over. You need to be well rested for tomorrow.” I interrupted the conversation. “If you don’t mind us, I would like to chat with Wolf. Just the two of us.”
Firana grumbled but ultimately obeyed. Before she could convince Zaon to help her, Ilya grabbed the elf boy and dragged him to the farm plot where the small kids were playing. Even Risha turned a deaf ear and walked away, leaving his wooden shield on the big stump.
“Alright, I understand; I’m sorry,” Firana grumbled as she grabbed the equipment.
I looked at Wolf and signaled the grove with my head. We both walked in silence until we reached the tree line. There, Wolf leaned against a tree and let out a long sigh.
“Not used to the attention?” I asked with a sympathetic smile.
Wolf shook his head. “I haven’t told them I plan to leave the orphanage after the tournament. They are talking about giving the Imperial Academy a try. Firana, more than anyone, wants us to stay together.”
“I’m sure Firana will understand if you explain it to her,” I said. “She might be an airhead sometimes, but she wants the best for every one of us.”
“I hope so. I don’t want to make anyone sad, but I probably will,” Wolf replied, defeated.
I remember the time I left my home to go to college. It wasn’t that far, but the goodbye was hard, even with cell phones and video calls being a thing. In retrospect, it was probably even harder for my dad.
“Wolf, listen. If returning to the tribes is what you want, we will be thrilled to help you. It’s your life we are talking about, and only you can make the final decision,” I said. “Of course, Elincia and I will try to give you the best advice possible. You are strong and smart, and the orcs will be fortunate to have you among their ranks, but the Imperial Academy is also a good option. The rank of Knight opens up many avenues. In the end, it’s your call. We will always be here for you.”
“Thanks,” Wolf muttered. “It means a lot coming from you, Mister Clarke.”
This day looked more like a funeral than a birthday, and it wasn’t the slate gray sky over our heads. I hoped the enchanted sling was enough to light up Wolf’s day.
“I saw your relatives using these, so we thought it would be a good present,” I said, offering Wolf the enchanted sling. “Happy birthday.”
Wolf extended his arms and grabbed the sling. He carefully examined the craftsmanship, and the more he looked at it, the more his lips curved up.
“It’s beautiful, thanks,” Wolf said. “Can I try it?”
“Be my guest.”
Wolf grabbed a stone the size of a tennis ball, and for a moment, I thought the leather pouch would be too small. Ginz, however, had gotten ahead of the problem, and the projectile fit perfectly. With their size and strength, it was no surprise orcs preferred bigger bullets.
The sling spun over Wolf’s head.
“Give it a bit of mana,” I said, stepping to the side.
“I don’t have a lot of mana. I’m not Ilya,” Wolf replied.
“Just do it! We have been working on meditation for months now!” I said.
Wolf’s eyes suddenly shot wide open as the sling gained more velocity. He pushed the little mana a classless person could muster into the sling and aimed for a low branch. He let go, and the stone hit right in the middle, splitting the branch from the tree. Unlike Ginz, Wolf was a great shot.
I smiled, not because of the enchantment's success but because of Wolf's gleeful expression. The young half-orc laughed to his heart's content as he prepared a second shot. With his arm, he could knock down a deer.
Loki peeked out of my pocket, looking as angry as a sleepy rat could be.
“Damn beast!”
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Sionia
Chapter 11
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“Count Wyatt, please wake up.” Gus said as he gently shook my shoulder.
Opening my eyes I saw Gus looking intently at me. Lorna was pulling the drapes from the windows and tying them back to allow the room to fill with light.
“Morning Gus.” I said while rubbing the gunk from my eyes.
“Good morning, Lord Wyatt. Sorry to wake you but his Grace requests you join him for the morning meal.” Gus said as he held the dressing gown for me.
“Really? That is a surprise.” I said as I had been told that Duke Boasag was a recluse.
“It is very rare for his Grace to even meet with guests. This request is unprecedented. The last guest his Grace ate with was the King last cycle.” Gus replied with a show of excitement.
“How much time do I have?” I asked Gus as I slid my arming into the dressing gown.
“About a half span.” Answered Gus as he helped put my slippers on.
“Better make it quick to wash up then.” I said as I was being led to the bathing chamber.
I was met by a footman attendant who was holding a straight razor where he began to sharpen it with a broad leather strap. Another footman was pouring hot water into a bronze basin.
“If you are planning on shaving me. I must ask that you pour hard spirytus over the blade first.” I stated as Gus tapped a stool in the middle of the room.
“Why?” Asked Gus perplexed by my request.
“Hygiene reasons plus a dirty razor can make a person very ill.” I stated a known fact from earth.
“Razor is not dirty, Lord Wyatt. I promise I wiped it good with my shirt.” Stated the footman with the razor.
“You can not see the dirty things but they are there none the less. You should pour spirytus over the blade and wipe with a small cloth that has some hard alcohol on it. Then store the razor in a box to keep it clean. You should always do this before and after you use the razor.” I stated more earth advise.
“Interesting. So, people can get sick from the razor.” Asked Gus as he scratched his ear.
“The danger is when the skin is cut. Everyone gets a cut at some point because of bumps or pimples which are filled with white stuff. If the person cut was sick or has a disease that lasts for a long time, then that disease can be passed on to someone else by the razor.” I stated as Lorna came into the room with a bottle of hard alcohol.
“You are most knowledgeable and I will keep your words.” Said Gus with a salute and bow.
At this point, Lorna washed my face, neck and arms with some lye soap that was scented with some kind of flower I could not identify. While Lorna was continuing to wash me, the footman used an animal hair brush to lather my face. About ten minutes later, I was clean shaven and I was glad to rid myself of the scruffy beard. I had not shaven since back on earth as it grew out and was itching quiet a bit. Gus brought out my light blue outfit and my only pair of formal well polished leather shoes.
“Hang on.” I said as I walked barefoot to the shock and gasp Gus and Lorna into the dressing room and pulled from my satchel a clean pair of socks.
“My socks. I prefer to wear socks with my boots and shoes. Slippers there I can be worn barefoot but leather shoes are hard on one's feet.” I stated as I pointed to the shoes in Gus's hand.
“Very good. Allow me.” Gus proposed as he took the socks from me and closely inspecting them.
About fifteen minutes later, I was fully dressed with my hair combed where I was led into the main keep through the fourth floor bridge. From there, we went to some stairs where we climbed to the seventh floor before entering the fifth tower of the keep. It was here I learned that the castle's towers were numbered in a counter clock manner. The front right tower was number one with the second front left tower being number two and so on. The right back tower was the fifth tower and one occupied exclusively by Duke Boasag.
After passing through a formal reception chamber where Duke Boasag held private court for those of rank, we came to an antechamber. Gus explained the uses and purposes of the rooms as we passed which was pretty obvious. I was then shown into a formal dinning room with a long polished wooden table that had a dozen seats. I was led to a very large high back chair on one end that normally would be for the duchess. I was immediately brought coffee that smelled amazing along with a porcelain cup of milk and another with sweet apple cider.
“His Grace, Duke Boasag.” Announced Evito who stepped into the room just before Duke Boasag.
Duke Boasag was a white haired stocky framed man about five foot nine to ten inches tall. He just looked average for someone around sixty to seventy years old. His clothing looked well made but not flashy or looked overly rich. He wore woolen style pants that were called hose but thicker than back on earth. The color of his clothing was a deep rich royal purple with white accents. His beret type of hat was a light lavender gray with black accents.
I stood up and gave a salute and a nodding bow of my head.
“Ah, Count Ryan Wyatt. We are very glad to meet you.” Duke Boasag greeted me with a very pleasant smile.
“It is I who is very honored to be here with you this morning.” I replied with another nod of my head.
“Good. Good. Please seat yourself.” Duke Boasag said as he was assisted into his massive very ornate high back chair that took three footmen to push forward to the table.
“We are not one to skip around. We must admit that we have never heard of your name.” Pray tell who was your father?” Duke Boasag asked as he leaned forward awaiting my answer.
I took a quick drink of coffee as I readied myself. It was obvious that I was being interrogated.
“My father is John Wyatt. You are the third person who has said that they did not know my surname. Given the actions of the empire, it is impossible to bring people who know me fully to satisfy all who are curious or less informed.” I stated my well rehearsed answer.
Duke Boasag frowned for a moment before turning to Evito and asked, “What does the book say?”.
“I have searched through the library going back two hundred cycles. I could not find the name Wyatt. However, there was a Count Rolf Watt who ruled from the holding Brigadoon who was said to have died about hundred and six cycles ago. There was no record of succession as the highlands were cut off during the period of no summers when the sky rained ash for several years.” Evito stated as he read from a page in his hands.
“Ah. Is Count Ryan Wyatt Astria's missing noble house?” Asked Duke Boasag clearly studying both Evito and myself.
“It would appear so. The change in surname is the issue. However, if Count Watt only sired a daughter who then married a Wyatt could be the case or an unrecorded blood relative. However, there is no way to verify given the devastation. One thing is certain, Lord Wyatt has acted appropriately and has support of the Hyboreans, Asgardians, Quenyans as well as people here in Astria. His deeds and actions are impeccable. The only flaw is his lack of common knowledge which given he is from the high valley region is not uncommon. Your Grace would be wise to accept Count Ryan Wyatt without question given the backing Count Wyatt now has.” Evito stated with a salute and formal bow.
“Very good. So be it. We formally welcome Count Ryan Wyatt to Buanna. For challenging your station, we will grant you the man servant Angus and the maid Lorna along with two footmen and two chambermaids as our apology. We will also cover their pay for one year.” Duke Boasag stated his apology with spread arms and a wide smile.
“You are most generous, your Grace.” I replied in total shock.
“Good. Good. Now, let us eat.” Said Duke Boasag as the servants jumped into action to serve fruit, eggs, bacon and bread.
The meal was rather simple but it was also very good. The only curious thing was no conversation with Duke Boasag. He just ate heartily consuming a large amount of eggs and bacon. No more than thirty minutes later, Duke Boasag motioned and four footmen drew his chair back and he stood up. I also stood in return and did a nodded bow of my head as Duke Boasag walked out of the room.
“The servants from the tradesman's guild will be arriving within the span. You can review them in the main audience hall. There should be a good number to review and choose from.” Evito stated with advise.
“I see. Very well. I would like more coffee and apple cider before I ready myself.” I replied and seated myself again.
“Very Good. Gus will show you the way.” Evito stated with a heavy frown and walked out of the dinning room.
An hour and a half later, I was seated in Duke Boasag's throne chair in the main audience hall of his court. I had asked Gus whose name was actually Angus Gow, a former eighth son of a blacksmith, to select the best five to ten servants in their category and move them to my right with the best closest to the raised dais. I also had Lorna, whose name was Lorna Hansen, to do the same for the female servants. I also instructed them to pick the footmen and maids from Duke Boasag's house the best that Evito would allow. I was certain that particular servants would not be released as they were personal retainers to the Duke himself and thus, not qualify as the generous offer.
With Freya seated next to me as I also sought her out, was asked to help me sort out potential servants. It was obvious that I had almost no experience in knowing how to evaluate potential candidates. I thought it best given she was trained to run a castle or manor. It was certain that I would have at least a manor given what I was told several times from the King of Astria to nobles who lost their holdings to the empire. I was also certain that Evito would report my official status to the king as well as the outcome of the interrogation by Duke Boasag. This was something out of the ordinary given what people had told me of Duke Boasag's aversion of meeting other nobles.
The main audience chamber had forty seven men and eight four women prospective servants. Each one had a letter from the tradesman's guild denoting their skill and any former employment if any. The ones with no former training were to be rejected. However, just as Gus and Lorna had sorted out the prospective servants, a new group entered and I was floored. My mouth hung open and my mind froze up. Even Freya seemed to tense up at the new arrivals.
I saw what would be best described as a cat, dog, cow and a goat person complete with ears and a tail. A few minutes later entered a bunny person with the ears and cotton ball type of tail.
“I am so confused.” I said as I leaned toward Freya.
“You almost never see beast people. They live mostly on the Far Islands and on the continent of Amazon.” Freya answered leaning close to me as well.
“I do not know what to think. How are they different than say orcs and ogres?” I asked Freya.
Freya took me by the hand and led me to an antechamber away from the throng of potential servants.
“You really do not know do you?” Freya asked with a surprised look on her face.
“No. I told you have very little common knowledge of this world. I have only vague references from a few books I read but no other real experience to let me know what is what in this world. I am having to learn things now that you might have learned as a small child.” I stated as I shook my head.
“That explains a lot! Listen carefully. Beast people come in five categories. The first is the loyal types. They are the Dog and Bovine people. Once they bond, it is generally for life. They almost never leave their master. Only death of the master or forced to leave often by beatings when fired. It is rare for one of their kind to leave. However, they can become violent if their needs are not met. The second is the aggressive type. The aggressive types are Cat, Satyr and Anukite. Although it is true Cat and Anukite people can be very loyal, they are known to ignore or disobey and even attack their masters causing great harm. So, keep this in mind. Just know that they can be unpredictable. The third is skittish types are the Rabbit and Tenooki people. They are easily frightened and will either strike out or run wildly hurting themselves or others. The fourth is low level monsters like goblins, orcs and ogres and their evolved types. Lastly, there are the high level monsters like wyverns, dragons, basilisks, minotaurs and demons. Dragon's subordinate people the dragon neut also fall into this category though there is very few of their kind and to see one means disaster is close at hand. Know that demons have not been seen in over two thousand cycles. It is assumed that they either sleep or choose to remain unseen over all this time.” Freya explained looking at me with a strange expression.
“I see. Just never thought I would see them as a potential servant.” I stated as I shook my head again.
“The Cat, Dog and Anukite people here can be excellent as personal body guards who is willing to do labor unlike regular guards who refuse to do general labor and only do military type of things.” Freya added to the things I had to consider.
Back in the audience hall, Gus and Lorna had sorted everyone including the beast people. What shocked me was the group closest to me was the bunny girl, a raccoon girl, four cat people and six dog people. Next group to them was five Alphardians and fifteen humans.
After an exhausting hour, I ended up selecting five humans, six beast people and two Aphardians. Of the beast people, I made four of them my personal attendant and body guards. The bunny girl whose name is Tiana was an excellent maid with raving letter of recommendation. After only three years of service, her previous master had died who happened to be a count like myself. The girl Freya thought was a Tenooki rejected that designation stating her name was Rana and pointing to her stripped tail as reason enough. Rana stated she was a cottie or koti. Since neither Freya or myself could not get an affirmative answer as she flipped between the names, I decided to give her a designation. So, I told her she is in fact a raccoon person. She took to the new designation after I explained that raccoons are considered fastidious creatures who clean everything well. Rana was placed in charge of my wardrobe and liens and making sure they were clean and mended.
I selected a female cat girl named Meowth. She made me smile and chuckle as Meowith would add meow to words. Like meowther for mother. She had other cute terms that only apply to cats, like, calling me a good looking Tomcat. I picked one rather huge male cat person who then told me that beast kin should not be called people and there were more designations than humans denote. So, Cat kin, Dog kin and so forth was the proper etiquette. Anyway, his name was Razor Claw and was a tiger kin who goes by just Razor. The last two were Anukite subordinate wolf kin and would be apart of my house guard. It seemed Anukites were twice the size of wolf kin and more vicious. The Aphardians were placed in charge of anything plant related. They would be future gardeners, foragers and herb gatherers. With the humans, I selected three cooks and two kitchen helpers. Big Jake a massive thirty something man easily three hundred pounds about six feet five inches tall was the most experienced and would be head chef. Kanade Brown a twenties something women with sandy brown hair and amber eyes was known for her pastries and bread. Jason Longmire a late thirties man with brown hair and eyes was known for cooking meat slowly almost barbecue like. The kitchen helpers were mid teens Yuki Soma and Kennard "Ken" Larson.
On advise from Freya, I would wait to see what type and how big a home I would have before getting anymore servants. As it stood, I would be out a total of seven and a half denari. That is an equivalent to seven dollars and fifty cents a month back on earth. Which is a lot when simple field laborers made three to five mites or three to five cents a day. Thinking back to history class, this world's pay is on par with earth period 800-1000CE. I did not even want to contemplate inflation to the current year back on earth.
After I had selected the servants from the tradesman's guild, Gus and Lorna introduced me to my personal footmen and chambermaid retainers. The first footman was Lukas Lundr a mid twenties guy with dark sandy hair and brown eyes. Next was Stefan Gundersen a late teens boy with golden blonde hair and dark blue eyes. Lorna then introduced Wynna Landeg a late teens early twenties girl with dark brown hair and eyes. Last was Alice Pao an early twenties girl with brown hair and green eyes. Gus and Lorna took them to my chamber to get to work and familiarize them with my belongings and requirements.
Right before midday meal, Buanna received three filoxis messages which two were from the capital Camelot and the information broker in Trikath. I was then informed of a formal summons to appear before Duke Boasag immediately in his private audience chamber in the fifth tower.
“Come in and stand here” Evito said as he pointed to a spot about six feet in front of the raised dais of Duke Boasag's massive and very intricately carved chair.
About ten minutes later with everyone fidgeting, Duke Boasag entered with several message pages delivered by the filoxis in his hand. Duke Boasag sat down still reading the messages before he frowned looking up at me.
“Evito, you have already sent word to Camelot?” Asked Duke Boasag with a heavy look of displeasure.
“Yes, my Grace. It was sent about two spans ago.
I suspected that my newly confirmed and established identity was passed on to the capital along with other information.
“Can not be helped. Count Wyatt, you have been formally summoned to appear before King Leon within five days. We are to provide you with whatever you need to reach the capital within that time.” Duke Boasag announced as he leaned back in the chair almost stretching out.
“I see. Thank you, your Grace.” I replied with a nod of my head.
“The thing that angers us is Leon ordered us to give you ten fourth to fifth level soldiers who will be yours under your banner! The king orders us to pay their wages for one year! It is insufferable!” Duke Boasag complained.
“I do not understand, your Grace.” I stated with a deeper bow of my head.
“The king is ordering his Grace to reward you with fighting men. These men will be paid for one year as a tax on his Grace's holdings.” Evito explained as he stepped closer to me.
“I see. I thank his Grace for the gift.” I repeated my thanks as there was nothing else to say.
“You do not understand that is obvious!” Said Duke Boasag crossing his arms as he leaned forward in the chair.
I thought it wise to say nothing. I then looked at Evito with a tilt of my head.
“Really? The problem is that it takes four long days of very hard riding to reach Avalon. Then another five to six days of hard riding to reach Camelot. You simply can not reach Camelot as the king commanded by the stated deadline!” Evito explained shaking his head in exasperation.
“I see. I believe that the king is aware of the distance and the impossibility of time. I take the command as to travel quickly and as fast as I can. Am I wrong?” I explained followed by the poignant question with my hand outstretched.
“You are not wrong. However, all who are under your care including the Order of Knights must travel with you. That is the issue!” Duke Boasag stated with a pointed finger.
I see. That was in the message too?” I asked.
“Yes. You, your servants, your banner men and Order of Knights are to be in Camelot!” Duke Boasag stated then continued after a moment. “The problem is the hard long travel you must undertake. In truth, it may take you two to three weeks to reach the capital with wounded and females. Oh well, what our dimwitted cousin's grandson the king commands must be obeyed no matter how foolish a command it really is.” Duke Boasag stated with an angry pouting look.
“I understand.” I replied with a slight nod of my head.
“Evito, have Captain Morgan select the soldiers. Make sure that he asks for volunteers first. If there is not enough men from the fifth level, then pick from level four the men after giving them a chance to volunteer. Procure two carriages for Count Wyatt from the tradesman's guild immediately and give him my second carriage. Be sure to show him the particulars of that carriage as well for he will be in need of them. We are sorry but you must leave Buanna within the span and head into Trikath. Collect the carriages for your wards. Damn it all, you will need florses as well. See to it Evito. Such an expensive nuisance you turned out to be Count Wyatt. Good. Be off and good riddance.” Duke Boasag said as he rose and stormed out of the chamber in an angry huff.
“Do not worry. His Grace does not hate you. He is just annoyed that the king ordered him without consideration of realities of everyone's situation.” Evito stated quietly in a fatherly way.
“I understand.” I replied as I had the look of shock at Duke Boasag's ranting tantrum and the impact of his orders.
“You should make the announcement to your people and have them immediately ready themselves for travel. If you leave Trikath within three spans, you can reach a small town called Trino by tomorrow evening which has a large fortified inn where you can stay. There is another two days from Trino at Monmu. From there, on to Avalon where you must meet with Viscount Vincent Skafhoggr as that is his city and holding now that Count Appleton died without heirs. Ask his chamberlain Jamas to send word to Camelot of your progress and if there is any new instructions from the King. I will have Big Meg make travel food for your party and give rations for fifteen days.” Evito advised with a salute and bow.
“Thank you, Evito. Please extend my thankfulness to Duke Boasag.” I stated my heartfelt gratitude with a return salute and nod of my head.
I then followed Gus back to the forth tower where I made the announcement. All were in an uproar and were immediately getting themselves ready. Old Maude sought out doctor Zalswarth to get more herbs and medicines for the journey as she would be responsible for Sir Jas and his men which was no small task. However, doctor Zalzworth ordered two of his apprentices to accompany my party given Sir Jas just had surgery and Cleef was still needing specialized treatment.
Back in my chamber, I gave both Gus and Lorna instructions concerning my crates and made Gus responsible for the strong box, gun cases and sports bag. I had Razor and Meowth see to the readiness of the carts and carriage. The soldiers selected by Captain Morgan turned out to be extremely skilled. Seemed that all the top soldiers jumped at the chance to leave Buanna as Duke Boasag's reputation automatically passed on this his people. The leader was a lite brown haired man in his thirties who was well built and looked very strong.
“I am Master at Arms Lars Brandr. I am master of the sword, knives and lance. I am leader of these men.” Said Lars as he introduced himself with a formal salute and bow.
"I welcome good brave men! I have been fighting constantly and your service brings me peace. I am Count Ryan Wyatt.” I stated with a salute and a slight nod.
“You are most gracious, Count Wyatt. All the soldiers before you are fifth level masters. Arnold is a man at arms and is also master of the sword and lance. Greg is master of sword and bow. Cason is a strong shield man, master of sword and lance. Ivor is a scout, spy, master of sword, knives and bow. Moe is a shield man and master of sword. Nick is a scout and master of sword, bow and knives. Rolf is a master of sword and bow. Roland is a master of sword and lance. The last of our group is Vik who is a scout and master of sword, skilled at bow and knives.” Lars introduced the men as each formally saluted and bowed as they were introduced.
The soldiers all lined up shoulder to shoulder drawing their swords. Flipping the swords so they faced down where all took a knee. They then leaned their swords toward me and spoke in unison which was inspiring.
“We swear loyalty, fealty and our lives. We swear to defend and uphold the house of Count Ryan Wyatt to the death. We pledge to never show cowardliness in the face of the enemy. This we so solemnly swear upon pain of death.” The soldiers stated their oath.
“I accept your oath of fealty! Rise men of the House of Wyatt!” I stated as I stood at attention and gave a double fist bump to my chest followed by a salute.
The soldiers cheered loudly and adopted the same salute I had given as they thought it something special. This type of gesture was something cool I remembered from a soldier's greeting from a TV show set in medieval period. I then held my hands forward in a stopping motion to quiet the men.
“Ready yourselves for we depart within the span. Have your belongings crated and delivered to the carts. I have ordered Razor Claw a tiger kin to set aside a cart for personal gear of our party. Razor is my personal body guard for which he is highly qualified and is not a soldier. Please keep that in mind. I have one other body guard named Meowth a cat kin who is responsible for guarding my wards. They both have been given authority to slay anyone who tries to violate the girls or attempt to harm me. I expect the same level of ruthlessness from you concerning any enemy who attacks our party!” I stated my orders while insuring there were no turf war disputes between the beast kin and humans.
“Rah!” Shouted all the men who then departed to get ready.
Back in my room, I slumped into the comfy chase lounge as I decided to take a bit of time to rest.

I’m not quite sure how to do this. I guess I should Introduce myself first. My name is George McGregor, I live over in South Bend. Thinking about it, this can be viewed from all over the world so most of you probably don’t know where South Bend is. Sorry, it's not important. Anyway, I am posting this because I desperately need advice. I really, really need to get someone out of my house. Before half of you suggest things that I’ve already tried maybe I should elaborate on the situation. Have you ever had an unwanted house guess. You know the type. They come over uninvited, just come into your home and next thing you know it’s like they live there. I mean the nerve of some people. I called the police they told me it’s out of their jurisdiction. I tried an eviction lawyer they told me that my case isn’t covered under the law due to “special circumstances.” I tried a Priest and was informed that this couldn’t be done by conventional exorcism, and then he had the unmitigated gall to suggest I call the police. My apologies, I’m off on a tangent again. This situation just has me on edge. I think I’ll just start at the beginning, that might be easier, or at least intelligible.
About three months ago a dark spot appeared on my bedroom wall. Naturally I cleaned it off. The next day it was back, so of course I cleaned it again. The next day it returned again. This time it was larger. I tried bleach, I tried cleanser, I even painted over it. It just kept coming back, and every time it did, it was bigger, and it was darker. After a week it was about three feet wide and five feet tall. I swear when you glanced at it from the corner of your eye, it felt like you could see into it. One night when I was sleeping, I was woken by a noise. I searched and I searched for the source. It was a crackling sound almost like wood in a fireplace. I finally realized It was coming from the dark spot on the wall. I moved closer trying to make out what could be making that awful sound emanating from my wall. Then I saw movement. It wasn’t like movement on the wall, it was more like movement as viewed through an opening. I stepped back confused by what I was seeing then it stopped, it was just a dark spot on the wall again. So, I decided I would call someone tomorrow to come out and cut out the bad drywall and replace it. That should get rid of this mold or whatever it is.
After talking to seven different contractors just to hear the same “our earliest availability is Friday.” I gave up and made an appointment. It would have to wait two more days. At least I had a plan. With that done I proceeded with my daily routine, had dinner, and figured after being up most of the previous night hitting the hay a little early couldn’t hurt. I was feeling better but still exhausted, so I crawled into bed. Evidently, I wasn’t exhausted enough to sleep through the noise when it started again. I threw off the covers, turned on the lamp that sat on the nightstand, and stomped over to the wall. More specifically the rather large dark spot on the wall. “What! What do you want!” I shouted. All at once I heard a voice. Not like the voice of someone standing right in front of me but like that of a person back inside a cave. One word reverberating and deep. One word stretched beyond its normal pronunciation. It was a resounding, “ooouuuutt.” “Out, you want out. Well, you wouldn’t need to get you out if you weren’t stuck in my wall in the first place, now would you. A crew will be here Friday to cut you out of there. If you can’t wait till, then I'll call the fire department to get you out. Now if you don’t mind keeping it down I neeeeeed to get some sleep.” I was no longer scolding a dark spot on the wall but a cavernous opening in the wall.
I turned to stomp back to my bed when I heard a ripping sound. I quickly spun back around glaring at this thing that was so defiant, then a hand slid out gripping one side of the hole with a wet slap. It was jet black as were its fingernails. It’s neatly manicured, shiny, onyx fingernails. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have noticed if they hadn’t stood out in stark contrast to the talon like claws, I was expecting to see. “Humph” I muttered. The other hand slowly emerged to grip the other side of the hole. Next came a head followed by its neck and shoulders. A foot stepped out bringing the attached leg with it. Then finally the other foot. This person was standing right before me, his naked body covered only by this black gooey substance that was running down his body as slow as maple syrup, right, on, to, my floor.
“I’m free, free from the abyss at last.” He cried triumphantly in a booming voice.” I stared at the shiny tar-like substance pooling on my bedroom floor at his feet then up at him. “Seriously! You put a hole in my wall, you mess up my floor, and worst of all you come sauntering into my home like you own the place.” “It’s a portal” he retorted snidely. “Whyyy is there a portal in my wall. Surely you could have gone somewhere other than my bedroom.” He looked at me hesitantly the stuttered “I, I don’t know. It’s just where it opened too. Did you try summoning a demon or attempt speaking with the devil.” “What! No.” I replied. “Did you mess with time travel or sleep with a corpse.” “No.” “Are you a witch or a sorcerer.” No. “Oh I got it, maybe you, umm, maybe you. Yea, I've got nothing. I was trying to escape when I found this portal. I used it to escape, and boom. This is where it led me.”
So. You're telling me. That a portal just appeared leading to my bedroom. and you thought it would be ok to just see where it went.” He looked dumbfounded then hesitantly answered, “Well, yes. I mean. Look, there aren’t a lot of choices. I needed to escape. So yes, I took it.” “And who said you could take a portal to my house? Did someone invite you? ““well, no, I mean.” I cut him off abruptly, “Who are you anyway?” He winced as he replied, “I’m a demon. Veroso to be exact. Now I know what you're going to say, but I’m actually a good demon.” “Oh, you're a good demon.” “Now you're just being racist.” “What, no. Everybody knows demons are bad.” “Ok, but I don’t want to be.” I should have just booted him out right there and then, but I just had to ask. “Tell me then what do you want to be?” The demon Veroso suddenly looked like a shy little child. “A baker. I want to make beautiful cakes and tasty treats. I want to make deliciously warm puffy pastries.” “Seriously, are you any good at it.” “I’m fantastic but they only last a short time because things rot after I've touched them. Hey! It will go away though. The longer I’m in this plain the more human I’ll become and then all the demon type stuff will go away.” He replied with a big stupid looking grin on his face. “The longer you're in this plane?” “Yes, I just need a place to stay for a few days until I can get on my feet.” “A place to, oh no, no, no, no.”
“Just a few days” I sighed, turning to grab him some clothes and a towel. I left them by the sink in the bathroom then grabbed some garbage bags to lay out on the floor as a makeshift pathway to the bathroom. “Take a shower, clean the mess on the floor there. And don't leave a mess in the shower.” I don’t know why I let him stay but here we are three months later and he’s still here. He doesn’t pay for anything; he doesn’t even have a job yet. Although I have to admit now that food doesn’t rot when he touches it, he is one hell of a baker. Does anyone have any Ideas. Maybe someone could hire him then he can get his own place. Maybe one of you needs a roommate, of course that takes us back to someone hiring him so he can pay rent. Anyway, I’ll be waiting eagerly for suggestions please.
I was surprised with the response I received, thank you. Some suggestions definitely sound like they are worth a try. As for some of the Questions, no he hasn’t tried to steal my soul and or possess me. No, he hasn’t set any fires or tried to sacrifice anyone, do demons even sacrifice people? He did attempt to eat the neighbor's cat once but since we had a talk, he’s been leaving the neighborhood pets alone. No, he hasn’t asked if I know any virgins, that’s just rude. This one’s for Joey, you talked me into it. I went ahead and asked if he knew the demon who was involved in the Annabel doll. I was surprised to find out the answer is yes. He shuddered when I asked and said he would under no circumstances speak his name then added, “That dude is one seriously screwed up individual.”
Next question, I have no idea if he floats when he sleeps, I don’t watch him in bed, and before anyone asks, he sleeps in his own bed. I swear I don’t know where some of your minds are at. Yes, I have assigned him chores, he’s taken to doing them very well. I realize that kind of validates him living here but he was driving me nuts. He’s like a big kid and I really had no plans of being a single father especially to a demon, person, thingy. Last question, I’ll try to answer more later. I’m not sure that this has to do with anything but here we go, he likes pepperoni on his pizza, he seldom eats fish says it reminds him of Jesus, and no he’s not currently seeing anyone. Why do I get the feeling the last part was all you really wanted to ask. Anyway, thank you again for your suggestions. I’ll post an update tomorrow.
So, I attempted some of your suggestions, and in case anyone was wondering, yes demons can cry. He did laugh at two of the ideas, and said I was just being silly. The last one worked out the worst, maybe my delivery was all wrong, I don’t know. I think I have a solution though. I own some property, several pieces actually. I quit renting any of them out mostly because I decided I really didn’t want to deal with anybody. I’ve reconsidered that position and decided to start renting again. The extra capital will go towards a little venture I have planned. One of the commercial properties I own was a small restaurant. I figured I would have it remodeled and re outfitted so it can double as a bakery. I can hire a cook, some servers, and other necessary staff. Being an accountant, I can manage the place and take care of the books. That leaves the demon whose name is actually Varosu turns out I’ve been spelling it wrong this whole time. Anyway, I’ll hire Varosu to be the head baker. There’s living quarters above the restaurant, so he’ll have a place to stay other than my house. I understand that this kind of ties us together even further, but I think it will at least be a step in the right direction. I mean his baked goods are incredible, and he’s very creative.
Renovations have started, and Varosu is like a kid that can’t wait for Christmas. I know how that sounds considering what he is, sorry. So, he’s super excited, and I may be slightly interested in this new business. One section will be the bakery. And the other half will be a restaurant. If this goes well, I may even retire. I’ll keep you posted and of course you will all be invited to the grand opening. I’m thinking of running a special for all of you who are too far to make it. We could ship some of his tasty treats to you if you want to give them a try.
Here’s the update I promised. I have to admit I’m actually much more excited about this than I thought I would be. I’ve honestly enjoyed putting this thing together. Who would have thought I had a creative side? The grand opening is this Saturday, and I can’t wait. A consultant I’ve been working with talked me into a website for the business. We had a professional photographer take photos of Vars creations. The web page looks incredible. I decided to name the restaurant after Varosu since I've built it around his baking. the web page is Varosu.com, the restaurant is Varosu cuisine, and then there is Vars Bakery. Hope to see some of you there. I’ll be back with an update after the weekend.
Well, the opening went way better than I had hoped. I may have to add on to the building if we get that many people on other occasions. It was great seeing a few of you there and getting to meet you in person. For the rest of you thank you for your support, you’ve been great. Also, the company Instagram has been updated, so you can check out pictures there. It started off slow, but it seems that the people who came liked the treats so much they were calling everybody they knew about it. Next thing we knew the place was packed. We got good reviews on the food but the reviews on the baked goods and treats were off the chart. In other news two people went missing in our town. One male and one female. They were both married but the popular opinion is that they were having an affair and ran off together. Still the thought of people going missing in the town I live in makes me uneasy. Probably nothing.
So, it's been a week and the restaurant is doing well, better than you would expect this early on. I credit it mostly to the bakery. The bakery is booming and some of the people coming to the bakery are grabbing a bite at the restaurant while they're here. I’m not complaining, I mean it works. All and all if business doesn’t fall off too much as time goes on, I think we’ll be fine. Fine may have been an understatement, we’ll be doing great. That being said I was reading through the comments and a good point was brought up. My head Baker is a demon. Considering that, could his being a demon be responsible for our success and what would that mean for me since I’m reaping the benefits? I’ve done a thorough job looking into this and I have found nothing.
I asked Var about his being a demon having anything to do with success. He replied in an offended tone at first “Absolutely not, and if you remember I wasn’t very good at being a demon to begin with. You’ve seen and tasted my product.” I tried to smooth things out quickly feeling ashamed for some reason, “I know it's just that people are asking and now I can honestly tell them I’ve spoken to you about it. Also, because your treats are so good it's hard to believe anyone could have made them.” He perked up at this and explained, “It’s all about the ingredients Georgey.” I hate it when he calls me that, but he had my curiosity. “What’s special about your ingredients?” I asked. “Well, I usually use top shelf ingredients with a few exceptions where average everyday brands work better. The biggest thing is a group I like to call the fat family. Things like lard, fat, oils derived from them, and the special butter I make from them. You can’t skimp on that, and it should be fresh for the best results.” His answer made sense to me. He was good at baking, he was creative, and he didn’t skimp on the ingredients. This left me feeling a little better about things, so I was actually glad we had this talk.
I was going to post an update and answer some more questions today, but something came up that’s been bothering me. Not about the business or Varosu, all of that is going splendidly well. It’s the town I live in. It’s always been considered such a safe place, but three more people have gone missing in the last few weeks. While there could be a reasonable explanation, five people disappearing in a month is suspicious. Our community is starting to fear that we have a kidnapper in our midst. Possibly even a serial killer, although their bodies haven’t been found so at this point, we don’t even know if they’re dead. What is the world coming to? I warned Var to be careful. I know he’s a demon but as he pointed out he wasn’t very good at it. Besides he’s been on this plane long enough that he’s almost completely human now, and he’s always been childlike. I will post an update this week and answer more questions. Tonight, I’m going to a community meeting about what’s been happening.
Time for that update. I know last week I promised one later in the week, but it's been super hectic. Business has gone up exponentially. The more people go to the bakery the more people eat at the restaurant. I had a patio built to offer outside dining until I can expand the dining area. I had to do something we were turning people away we were so full. We started taking reservations two days ago and we are already booked solid for the next six weeks. The new perk is if you eat at the restaurant you can order from the bakery, and it will be delivered to your table before you leave. You see if you want to just go to the bakery you have to wait in line, a line that wraps all the way around the block. Although you can order online and have it delivered or shipped to you as well. I had to hire four delivery drivers, one baker, two more assistant bakers, one person who just handles shipping, three more servers and two more people for the bakery counter. I even had to rent a kitchen trailer to put out back so we would be able to keep up with production and it's still not enough. I may open a second location, at least for the bakery. Still Varosu Needs time to train more bakers in his recipes and creations. On top of that he needs more time to make the oil, lard, and butter. I guess having too many customers is a good sign though.
Now for the questions. I’ve decided to number my answers to make it less confusing. It would take way too long to type every question and then the answer. My apologies but I hope this will suffice. 1. I’ll start here because I feel this Is more important than the business. As to the progress and status of the missing persons investigations. Four more people went missing in the last eight days. Not one body has been recovered, assuming there are bodies. I mean I try to be positive and hope that they’ll be found alive. Unfortunately, there have been no witnesses, no leads, and no evidence. All they know for sure is that one day there here and the next day nobody has seen them. There personal affects, their vehicles, even the money in their bank accounts are completely untouched. I’m beginning to seriously worry; this has gotten out of hand. My prayers go out to the missing and their families. 2. Yes, we are still hiring. 3. Yes, Varosu does custom cakes as well as other custom treats. If you go on our web page you can select what you would like to order i.e., cake, cupcake, cookies, or anything else on the menu including some of Vars own dessert creations. Next you would select quantity. After that you will see three buttons in the upper right click on the one that says customize and follow the instructions. You can upload pictures or drawings and input descriptions and comments. 3. No, I do not know the secret to Vars butter and oils, and I don’t think he would be interested in selling his trade secret, but I will discuss this with him. It might not hurt to consider offering franchise opportunities, after all he’s almost completely human now and like all humans he can only be so many places at once. Franchising would be the next best thing. 4. Yes, the deserts you’ve never seen anywhere else are of Varosus creation. He also does some amazing flavor combinations if you're feeling adventurous.
Although I am truly blessed to have so much business that a second location is in the works as well as expansion of our current location. However, it is with a heavy heart that I inform you of the eight more people that have gone missing in the last week. I don’t see how this can continue, I can’t see how there could be this many victims and still not one shred of evidence. Neighborhood watch has been increased. Extra officers have been brought on. Nearby towns have even assigned some of their officers to temporary duty in our town. I think they fear it will spread to their town if the perpetrator isn’t caught soon. I was hoping that the person responsible would move on. Then I took it back quickly, realizing how horrible I was for wishing this away to someone else’s town, making this someone else’s problem. No, we needed to catch the suspect and catch him here. He can never be allowed to become someone else’s problem. In other news I will be interviewing all week for anyone who is interested. And yes, we offer international shipping. Be safe out there guys. More updates soon. Thank you for all your support and patronage.
I had a conversation with Var this morning. We will be closed for the holiday at least this year. We need to restructure a little bit. Things are growing faster than we had anticipated. Also, Var informed me that he may need to start shopping for some of the ingredients out of town. He’s afraid the supply will begin dwindling if he stays local, especially with the increased demand. I think I need to take care of something. Sorry for cutting this short.
“Var, could I speak to you in private please.” “Of course, is something wrong Georgey?” “That all depends. When you say getting ingredients locally are you referring to the local people, the missing people?” “What, no I would never.” “Really? Because when you mentioned demand increasing, something occurred to me. As business has increased so has the number of people disappearing that very same week.” “I’m flabbergasted, my feelings are hurt that you would think, yea ok I’ve been harvesting humans for their fat.” “Not just humans, local humans Var. is there anything else I should know?” “No, I think that about covers it.” “Var, are you sure?” “Yes, definitely sure. Everything else is exactly as I’ve said. That was the one secret ingredient.” “I haven’t made a pack with the devil or anything by hiring you?” “God no, sorry father. Scouts honor, that’s everything.” “oookkk. Var. are you out of your mind. I mean I know you're a demon but c’mon. Do you know how bad this is? Those people are local, they’re our customers for Pete’s sake.” “Well yea, I thought about that and that’s why I’m going to start going to the next town over.” “Nooooo. The next town over, have you completely lost your mind. From now on this is how it's going to go. You're going to spread it out across the country, one here, one there. You’ll get a month’s supply then stop for a few weeks. Never anywhere close to home unless I say otherwise. Are we clear?” “Got it, no hunting the customers, and spread out the shopping to attract less attention.” Var said with a huge smile and a big thumbs up. Meanwhile I shook my head and rubbed my temples. Like I said I didn’t have plans to be a single father especially to a demon, but someone needs to mentor him.
Hey guys, I’m back with the latest update on Vars Bakery. We will be offering franchises but in a very limited quantity. Vars secret ingredients will be delivered to franchises. The recipe will remain Vars trade secret. Construction on the second location and the expansion project for Varosus Cuisine are both complete. We’ve hired contractors to handle some of the shopping, figured outsourcing would give Var more time to run the bakery. And really big news. Varosu signed the papers today, he is now co-owner as well as bakery manager and head baker. We’ll be celebrating the grand opening of Vars 2, the second location. As always, you’ve been great I really. I’m sorry weee really appreciate all your support. You guys are awesome. We couldn’t have done it without you, some more than others. Have a good night, be safe, and we’ll be waiting for you at Vars bakery. Don’t forget to check out Varosus Cuisine.

Please see post history for details about the unit. We moved 2 weeks ago in an apartment that is newly managed by a property management company (very small and great reviews) that we quickly learned just took over managing our place. The owner is an older lady who they claim is "very hands on" which im realizing quickly is just shorthand for cheap and scummy.
As a tenant I am not anti landlord, my parents rent out and manage all 2 units and each one is always move in ready and updated upon move in unlike mine. First day my set of keys were wrong, lights were out, toilet wouldn't flush and it wasn't even clean. There was literally a dead roach in one of the rooms. Property manager claimed he did a move in inspection (he didn't show us around in person, we never met him personally) but clearly he didn't, however in his defense he called us very apologetic and explained the new relationship with the owner. I honestly think he thought it would be OK to just leave the keys in the lockbox for us and the unit was at least presentable.
Anyways, we are getting our rent deducted for several repairs that we will be paying a handyman for (three horrible drywall fixes for water damage, I'm talking about peeling and open holes in the wall). Landlord was reluctant but caved with the PM'S support.
However the one thing she's defensive about is the kitchen faucet. She says she doesn't want it swapped out. It is new but way too big for the small sink and is even placed incorrectly, and extends to the edge of the sink corner, so the water splashes everywhere and pretty much soaks me everytime I use it. To add to that clearly it's an issue because white caulk tape is placed around all of the sink's corners and there's visible water damage to the counter tops (not granite, it's this artificial material, not sure which but it's chipping).
The PM asked and her answer was that since it's not leaking it's not an issue even though I'm willing to pay for both install and and faucet itself. Is this a reasonable ask? Am I crazy? :( I just see no real reason why she doesn't allow it, especially since it's clearly damaging her kitchen over time. I'm thinking that maybe she doesn't want us to find out about another shoddy repair.
I would love some advice and I guess I just wanted to vent. I also don't want to seem like a needy tenant with all these maintenance requests (PM told me that they don't mind me submitting them despite the amount because I am correct) but now im afraid she wont do a lease renewal. We just want this place to be comfortable because we love the neighborhood and plan to be there for awhile. We gave the unit a new paint job too, neutral white walls that she agreed to (paint was peeling and dirty and full of holes in the drywall - they were also coral and lime green). Even the PM said it was a huge upgrade. I don't want to sink more money into it if it's not worth it.

How can I remove limescale/hard water buildup from an oil rubbed bronze faucet? Both vinegar and CLR soaks in the Ziploc baggie method failed. I tried scrubbing and scraping after both and it barely touched it.

Author's notes: I just realized I haven't really been updating this story here. I'm currently up to chapter 6, so I'll try to post a chapter every weekend until I get caught up. If you haven't heard of this story before click here to go to the start of it on reddit.
Or read it here https://archiveofourown.org/works/39895998/chapters/99895653 if you want a different format.
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Chapter 3
"I still can't believe you're going through with this," Josh said, a touch of concern in his voice.
"Not like I can change my mind now, especially after I got a week off to adjust," I responded.
"What did you even do all week?" He asked.
"Oh you know, the usual: Video games, anime, and shitposting."
"Jeez dude, and I thought I was a shut-in."
"I get out, I walked around in a park with Sammy."
"Yeah, one time in a whole week. That's not healthy."
"At least my room is clean."
"Shut up."
Ray butted in. "Look man, I get that you want to move on from Sammy, but this is too much. You're not gonna be online during the week anymore. You shoulda just taken a few days off instead."
"That wouldn't've been enough, and I'll still be online, just only for a couple hours before work. I'll be online on the weekends too."
I heard Dan sigh. "He's changing his scenery, Ray. It's perfectly normal to do that after you have a breakup."
"I still say it's actually because he secretly wants to hook up with that viper chick. Getting it on with your alien war criminal coworker isn't gonna help you forget, Vince." Ray said.
"Ok Ray. First off, I barely know that broad; second, she might not even be a war criminal; and third... uhhh, FUCK - YOU."
He chuckled. "You sound angry, bro, is it because you know I'm right?"
"Look, from what I've seen and heard: I'd sooner put in an anonymous tip to Xcom about her, than take her to dinner and pork her afterwards."
"So you've thought about it?"
"I have n—"
Josh jumped back into the conversation. "Hey, I heard you can get paid for tipping off Xcom to war criminals. Maybe if she's really bad, they'll give you a medal for it too."
"Yea, I could, but they'd be paying me with those physical X-credit things, and what the hell would I do with those?"
Dan answered my question as usual. "You could trade them in at any bank in the city. X-credits are leagues more valuable than shillings, they're backed by Xcom's resources, manpower, and technology.
"That's cool, I don't care about the money, but I'd turn her in to get Ray to shut up."
Ray laughed. "Suit yourself bro, more snussy for me."
"You'd have to visit her in jail if I turned her in. Maybe while I'm at it, I'll turn you in too."
"Hey, if she's my cellmate, I'm game."
Josh laughed. "Nah, you'd probably get paired up with the male muton that likes to rape people, if you're lucky. It'd probably be something even worse."
Ray was silent for a few moments before saying. "Bruh."
I saw my chance to exit. "You know, as interesting as this conversation is, I gotta be to work soon, so I'll catch you guys tomorrow."
Everyone said their goodbyes.
Ray added. "Try to not get killed by the snake." To the end of his goodbye.
"Like I said, I'm just gonna avoid her. I'm sure it'll be fine."
Ray chuckled. "Hope so, brotha."
After I said goodbye once again, I logged out of the group chat, and loaded up #chan on my web browser. I still had a few more minutes and I wanted to see what people were posting in the xenophilia thread before I left.
Despite aliens being on earth for some time now, being interested in them was still niche and there were not many places to discuss it that tolerated it. My friends were cool with it, maybe a little too cool with it, but xenophilia as of now was really only prominent on the net. Space Banditz is a recent example of a company trying to stir the pot, but that didn't happen too often. Can't recall the last time I saw a human even hanging out with an alien in public. Not that there were many in this city; we outnumbered them. I scrolled through and looked at what people were posting. Some posts were arguing about anatomy, other people were asking for alien dating advice, and others were discussing media related to aliens. A couple drawings were posted, one was a tastefully drawn viper. She was on her back laying over the edge of a bed, her feminine features were not drawn not too thick, it focused instead on highlighting her lithe serpentine body's form by having it curve at tight irregular angles, forming a casual sprawl. It was posted somewhat recently, so I replied "tfw no viper gf that hogs your entire bed," to it.
I scrolled down a bit further and saw something surprising. It was a picture of a viper's scaly hand with the tip of her tail draped over her wrist. A piece of paper was next to her hand too, it had today's date and "hi /xeno/" written on it. The text on the post read "I just found this thread, I didn't know humans like this existed. I'll answer any questions about vipers you have." Occasionally aliens would make posts like this, and while it was a treat, it was strange to be reminded that aliens were browsing this thread. This post was only thirteen minutes old, but it already had a ton of responses. The first one was, "tits or gtfo", which made me chuckle. I love this community. There was a response to it, so I clicked it, and was taken to a picture of bare viper breasts with the same paper timestamp as the hand image. She was using one of her forearms to lift up her breasts slightly. They were shapely, with cream-colored scaled plates running down them, flanked by her orange diamond scaled shoulders. While viper's breasts didn't have nipples, I know I'm not the only one who still enjoyed looking at them. The text on that post was "alright. now ask me some questions"
Real lewd images of aliens were hard to come by, even online. They were borderline illegal due to the circumstances aliens lived in. I know a lot of them are in desperate situations, so if someone were to flash some cash to get them to show off some gash, or whatever people wanted to see, it would be hard for them to say no. For that reason, I mostly stuck to drawings to get my kicks. It's hard to enjoy a picture when all you can think about is whether or not the girl in it is doing alright. However, in this case, I didn't feel bad, she wasn't being paid to be here, and was clearly enjoying all the attention.
People asked her mostly joke questions, stuff like: "how far can you squirt (venom)", and "Post a picture of your throat," but, there were a few genuine ones. She responded to all of them. I replied to her post and asked her "what's the quickest way to a viper's heart?" When I hit send, my pulse quickened.
After a few moments, I got a response. "I can't speak for all vipers, but treat her like you would treat a human girl. Get to know her, listen to her, give her food she likes. And most of all, be a good friend to her. Friends are not something all of us have."
About what I expected, but it was reassuring to hear it from the horse's mouth. It's too bad I had to go to work now, I'd like to ask more questions, but maybe some of mine would be asked by other people when I check back later. Not like it mattered anyway, I don't know any Vipers.
It was on the cusp of being dark when I walked to work, and a brisk wind blew. It took even less time to walk to work because not many people were driving this late. When I got to McDougalls and stepped inside the building it was like a breath of fresh air. It was almost quiet, there were only a few people in the dining area, and there weren't people clamoring for the counter to get their orders taken.
I'm liking this already.
There was a tall guy manning the counter, he had a short dirty blonde mop on top of his head, and he looked older than me, but that might be because he looked tired. His dull grey eyes shifted in my direction, as I walked up to the counter. "Wuz up? Are you the new night shifter?"
"Yea, that's me. The name's Vince. Who are you?"
"Ash, well, my name is Ashley, but call me Ash."
"Alright. Is, uh, Mark here? He was supposed to go over some training with me and introduce me to everyone."
"Oh yeah, he left tonight in a hurry, had something important to do, short notice. Told me to tell you he was sorry. But don't worry, he put me in charge of showing you around. Clock in and I'll introduce you to the crew."
As I walked around the counter and clocked in, he asked me another question. "So how new are you, exactly. Mark wasn't too clear before he left."
"I've worked here for a few weeks."
He sighed happily. "Oh thank God, I thought you were, like, brand - new. So what do you know?"
"I can take orders and work the ice cream machine."
He snapped his fingers and frowned. "Damn, that sucks. Oh well, we'll have to train you on the fryer."
I wasn't scared of the fryer, but I was confused. "What do you mean? Can't you just work the fryer?"
He nodded. "I can, but the grease makes my acne flare up, so I avoid it." He crossed his arms and gestured to the air. "We all sorta work the same spot every night, makes things easier around here. Sometimes Carlos and Tay switch jobs, but I'm always up front. Derek, the dude you're replacing, was our fry guy." Hearing the name Tay made my mind flinch, I knew somewhere back in the kitchen she was working, and I was dreading running into her. A part of me was still trying to pretend she wasn't gonna be here.
"That's fine by me, but I've never worked a fryer before."
He chuckled. "Don't worry about it. Tay can teach you, she's a master at everything in the kitchen, and we don't get as much business as day shift."
Oh fuck. Why does she have to be the one to teach me? What if she recognizes me? I doubt she'd even want to teach me or anyone else anything. Ash seemed confident when he said that. Maybe he's an idiot?
"Speaking of which, I'll introduce you to Tay and Carlos."
He walked towards the kitchen and gestured for me to follow. As I followed him, I braced myself for whatever came next.
Next to the grill was Tay, the pale viper I saw by the dumpster. She was leaning back against a stainless steel counter with her arms crossed, staring at the floor and tapping a claw against her elbow impatiently.
After standing there for a few moments, Ash said something to get her attention. "Yo, Tay, this is the new guy."
Her eyes darted to him and then to me. She held her gaze on me, I felt my pulse quicken. Fuck, shit, - fuck. What are the chances she remembers me? How many people has she pissed off? I hope that I was just one more dude that made her upset and that she didn't bother to remember me or my name. I didn't see any emotion in her eyes and breathed a little easier when she looked back at Ash. "Don't care."
Ash chuckled. "You should, he's gonna take over fries for you."
That caught her attention. "Yeah? He looks like he doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground." She gestured to me and to the ground before recrossing her arms.
"Be chill, of course he doesn't know, he's new and most people don't work with fryers at home."
"Hu, huh. So you're gonna train him?" The way she said that was more of a command than a question.
"You know I am not going anywhere near those things. You'd do a better job than me anyway, I know you've trained people before."
She furrowed her brow and leaned her head forward. "Not gonna happen, Ash-ley."
Ash had been chill up to this point, but now he had a serious look on his face. "Look, just train him on this one thing, or I'll tell the witch about all your extra long smoke breaks."
Upon hearing that her confident composure broke and she let out a guttural sigh. "Ugggh, - fine. You're a dick." She threw her hands up in the air and pointed at him.
"Takes one to know one, Tay. Thank you."
She snorted in response and turned her attention to the grill. She muttered something under her breath, but I didn't catch what it was.
Ash continued walking, and as I followed, I looked back at Tay.
The grill had these press things that were pulled down on top of the burger patties to cook both sides at once. An alarm buzzed, and she lifted up the press to reveal some cooked burgers. She pulled a plastic gun from the top of the grill and squeezed the trigger a bunch to season the meat. Then she leaned over the grill to scoop up the burgers with a spatula and put them in a wax paper-lined plastic tray. As she did, the steam from the grill licked at her scaly face and soaked into the shirt covering her voluminous breasts.
Her eyes flicked in my direction when she picked up the tray and I immediately turned around to face forward. Ash took me back past the breakroom to the big sink. From around the corner, I could hear water spraying and see steam spraying out. When we got to its source, I saw a short brown guy, with short black hair, in an apron, washing a big pile of dishes, mostly spatulas, plastic buckets, and those plastic trays I saw Tay using. He had earbuds in and didn't even look in our direction.
"Hey! Carlos!" Ash yelled.
He continued to be completely absorbed in washing dishes. I could make out the music coming from his earbuds, it sounded electronic.
Ash laughed and looked at me. "Dude listens to dubstep at max volume, all - night. He has the hearing of an old man." After a moment he spoke the words "mute volume," clearly.
Carlos looked confused for a few seconds and turned to look at us. "Eh, - hey, hey. What's up Ash."
Ash gestured to me. "This is Vince, the new guy."
His confusion went away. "Ah, hello." He offered a hand for me to shake, but he was wearing a sopping-wet rubber glove covered with onion pieces. He noticed my hesitancy and took off the glove, and tried to shake my hand again.
I shook it. "Nice to meet you." Then I looked at Ash, "so, who's that witch you mentioned to Tay?"
Both Carlos and Ash looked surprised. Carlos spoke first. "Oh, you haven't met her yet? Count yourself lucky my man."
Ash chuckled. "She's the general manager for all the McDougalls in the city. Real bitch, no one likes her. When she comes around here it's all hands on deck and she gets up everyone's ass about something. But, you're on night shift now, so you won't see much of her; unless you have to fill in on a day shift, which will probably happen at some point."
"So, what? - You're saying I might see her?"
He rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, that's what I mean. Sorry, I'm more tired than usual today, woke up really late."
"Is it hard to sleep during the day?"
They both nodded and Ash responded. "Big time, first thing you should get is some blackout curtains."
"Ok. You know, I'm not really a morning person, maybe I won't have trouble sleeping?"
"You won't, at first," Carlos said. "There is what we call a honeymoon period on night shift. You start off fine, and for some people, it lasts for months and months, but sooner or later you'll be worn down like the rest of us."
Ash chimed in. "Besides Tay, she's the most awake out of all of us, most of the time. Probably because she's a non-human. She might actually be nocturnal, I've never worked up the nerve to ask her about it."
"You guys aren't giving me a lot of confidence."
Ash waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it. Just have a cup of coffee before you come to work if you're tired. You'll make it to the end of the shift." He looked at Carlos. "We'll leave you to the dishes dude, have fun."
"You know I will."
Ash looked back at me. "Now, let's get you situated with Tay and the fryer." He must've been able to see the nervousness on my face because he said, "Don't let her get to you. Just do what she says and you'll be fine. Should be an easy night for you. Once you're comfortable with the fryer, I'll show you how to get orders ready and hand them out at the drive-thru window."
He led me back to the fryer and Tay, who was assembling sandwiches on the stainless steel counter across from the grill.
She glared at Ash as he walked up to her. "Alright, he's all yours Tay. Try not to break him." He chuckled as he walked to the front counter.
I was a castaway, and he pushed me overboard to swim with a shark because he couldn't be bothered to train me. Abandoned me to the one person I wanted to avoid. I felt someone's eyes bore a hole in the back of my head, so I turned to look at Tay.
Her hands were formed into fists and pressed into her hips, one was still holding a spatula. I was shorter than her, but that was only because vipers didn't have a set height. They could be as tall or as short as they wanted to be, so long as they kept their balance while moving.
I smiled sheepishly and clapped my hands together. "Ey, so, nice to meet ya. What do you, uh, want me to do?"
She didn't say anything and continued to stare. Her tongue flicked out a few times, and she squinted her eyes. "You seem… familiar. Have we spoken before?"
I wanted to look away from her eyes, but I couldn't, it was like I was caught in a trance. "Eh, I donno, maybe. It's a big place, a lotta people work here. We could've run into each other before."
She leaned her head in closer and flicked her tongue out a few times, inches from my face. "No, I know you."
"Ey, uh, mind backing up. You're in my personal bubble."
She backed away and was quiet for a few more moments before I saw recognition in her eyes. "I remember you. You were that retard that ate his lunch by the dumpster." She smirked. "You looked like you were ready to piss yourself when I left."
I had dreaded meeting her, and this exact scenario, but I wasn't about to take that sitting down. "Well yea, looking at sum'n as ugly as you tends to make a guy nervous."
She chuckled. "Oof ouch, my ego. If only I cared what a conformist faggot like you thought!"
I heard Ash yell from the front counter. "Hey! Let's keep it PG-13 in here dudes! We've got orders to finish, Tay!"
She looked up front and back at me. Still clearly upset, she pointed at a spot in front of the fryers. "Stand there two-legs, and don't move."
She was still being an ass, but if she was actually gonna train me, I'd cooperate. I walked over to the spot she pointed at. She slithered over to the counter across from the grill and got to work. Her movements were an impressive skillful blur of pure muscle memory. She pulled out boxes and paper wrappers and assembled the sandwiches from bottom to top: bun, meat, pickles, onions, and lettuce. To put on the sauce, she pulled out these things that looked like caulk guns and squirted them on the top buns before assembling the sandwiches completely. When she was done she slid them down the counter to a spot at the front where Ash could reach them.
After that, she slithered in front of me and started packing fries into fry boxes. The fry cooking area had two parts to it, the fryers, and next to the fryers was a counter with a deep depression to throw the fries in and salt them, and above the fries was a heat lamp and a shelf to set the fry boxes on.
After she set the filled boxes on the warming shelf, she looked at me. "Watch me, this is how you cook the fries."
She grabbed the metal fry baskets and shoved them into this dispenser thing in between the fryers and the grill. It filled both of the baskets with frozen fries. She set them in the grease that foamed up when she put them in. "These are gonna sit for like 5 minutes. It should be obvious when they're done, even a mongoloid could figure it out. They start floating, and then they look cooked."
"Ok," I said, to let her know I was paying attention.
"Don't - say anything. Just watch those fries. Burn the image of them cooking into your mind."
She went to the grill and started cooking more burgers. I did as she asked and watched the fries.
After a few minutes, she broke the silence. "How do the fries look?"
They were floating like she said, but I wasn't sure if they were cooked. "Eh, they - might be done."
She grumbled and slithered over to the fryers. "They're done." She pulled the fry baskets out and hooked them onto the top of the fryer. "You have to leave them like this for a second to let the grease drip off, then…" She unhooked the baskets, "give them a shake like this," and shook them, splattering droplets of grease back into the fryer.
After that, she dumped both baskets into the fry warmer."Salting them is easy. Grab the shaker thing, and turn it over once. It'll dispense all the salt you need for 2 baskets of fries." She demonstrated how to use the salt shaker, and stirred up the fries with the plastic spatula she used to fill the fry boxes. Once she finished, she gestured to the fries. "Try one." Again, what she said was more like a command than an offer.
I pulled one out and ate it. Crispy, salty, and potatoey. "It's good."
"I know. That's what they are supposed to taste like. Burn this into your memory too, if you ever think you fucked up, taste one, and if it doesn't taste like these do, you fucked up."
"I'll, eh, keep that in mind. Seems easy enough."
"Good. Not too much to take in? You want to try making some fries right now?"
"I, eh, I'd like to watch some more."
"Correct." She seemed satisfied with my answer. "Yes. You're going to watch me do this until I feel like you are ready. A grease fryer can scar a thin-skinned human like you for life." She seemed serious about this.
"You know, I worked construction. I'm not a complete idiot. I haven't killed myself in an accident yet."
She smirked. "Most humans believe they are not idiots; most of them are wrong. And from what I've seen of you so far, I'm playing it safe."
"If you're so smart, what's the Pythagorean theorem?"
For just a second, I saw her mask of confidence slip, a moment where her intelligence came into question and she didn't have a response. "Who cares, we're here to cook food. Not do math."
I stole the smirk from her face and put it on mine. "So, you don't know what it is then."
She put a claw to her chin and scratched. "Mmm, You know something about math that I don't, so what? Should I care, should I be impressed? You don't even know how to make fries yet."
Damn, she weaseled out and turned it back on me. "That's on you, not me."
She frowned. "And I have my work cut out for me." She paused for a moment in thought. "I would be impressed if you managed to hurt yourself filling fry boxes. You just watched me, pack these fry boxes. We need two mediums and a small."
"Ok." I grabbed the plastic spatula and looked at the boxes. "Ey, which is which size?"
She snorted. "If you back up, genius, you'll see the labels on the cabinet."
"Oh, yea." Using the spatula in the way she showed me, I filled the fry boxes. "How's that look, pretty good huh."
She inspected my work with the concentration of an accountant laundering money. "If I hated the customers, I would give them these; luckily for you, I do. Try harder next time."
"Alright, wise guy, what's wrong with them?"
She plucked one from the heating shelf and showed it to me, pointing at the fries with a clawed finger as she spoke. "For a start, they're mangled. These fries look like someone threw them down the stairs and scooped them back inside the box."
I couldn't argue with her assessment. "You told me to - pack - them in."
"Yes, and you shoved them in without care, you might as well have used your bare hand."
"Ok, I'll be more careful next time, anything else?"
"Nope, you managed to get the fries in the box. Rather impressive, you have exceeded my expectations."
I took that backhanded compliment in stride. "I aim to please."
She returned to her work and ignored me. A few hours passed as I filled fry boxes for her. I chatted with Ash about video games when there were lulls in the customers.
"…my crit build is awesome, dude. It almost feels like cheating." He said.
"I never thought out my build that much, it's an easy game when you're playing with a full party."
"Of course, it's easier, but you're not getting the real experience if you play with other people. It's really meant to be a single-player experience."
"Yea, but there's other characters in the world. It's not only you vs. everything, if you upgrade your shit you're using someone else's help."
"The game is balanced around that, but I'm not trying to argue. I'm saying you should make another character for a purely single-player experience, it makes it—" he stopped mid-sentence as a customer left the store. "Ugh, finally, hey can you help me move the trash cans?" He asked.
"Sure."
We walked over to the trash cans, which had a big laminate wood box around them, marked clearly as trash cans.
As I helped him push, I realized we were pushing it in front of one of the doors to the dining room. "Are we, uh, blocking the entrance to the dining room?"
He gave me a confused look. "Yeah, why… Oh, shit, you've never done this before. Yeah, we close the dining area after 9pm, or after everyone leaves the dining room. Trash can blockade make it clear to the morons that don't bother reading the signs, or care that the doors are locked."
"Ah, I getcha... So, how do we leave?"
"We use the back door." He said while we shoved the trash can in front of the door.
As we walked to the other one I asked him. "So you use the back door a lot?"
"Yeah, like every night, dude. That's where I go when I get off."
I chuckled. "I didn't take you for that kind of guy, but, ey, if your girlfriend is happy with it."
"Oh fuck—" he burst out laughing. "You got me good ."
After we finished I took my break. When I got back from my break, Tay was giving me a look. "We just ran out of fries, and you're gonna make the next batch."
"Uh, ok. If you think I'm ready."
"I don't, but I don't feel like making fries anymore."
"You know, eh, you're not a very encouraging teacher."
"I don't care what you think. Just do what I've shown you."
"Ooo-kay." I loaded the fries in the baskets and dunked them in the fryers.
She crossed her arms. "Now how long are those gonna cook for?"
"Five minutes."
"Good, let me know when you think they are ready."
I was worried about burning them and making myself look like an idiot more than anything; so, I waited until the fries were floating in the oil and looking crispy before I said anything.
"They're done," I said.
Tay finished putting burgers on the griddle before she came over. When she did, I took the fry baskets out, hooked them, waited, and shook them. Then I dumped them in the fry warmer and salted them.
"How are they?"
She pierced one with a claw and tossed it in her mouth. "They're undercooked, but I could tell that just from looking at them. You'll have to make a new batch."
"Can't I just throw them in the fryer again?"
She shook her head. "Nope, you salted them already. Dump them and make new ones."
"Alright, fine, whatever. But, why didn't you tell me they were undercooked if you knew?"
She smirked. "You didn't ask. Use this fuck up to help you remember to not undercook them again." She slithered back to the grill. "Let me know when your next batch is ready."
I didn't say anything and got to work making another batch. When they were finished and salted, I called her over to try one.
She swallowed one and after a few seconds gave her review. "These are passable, not perfect, but they won't make anyone feel sick. You can use these for the fry orders." She went back to assembling sandwiches.
"Ok." At least she didn't insult me, saved me the trouble of having to think of something to hurl back at her.
The rest of the night went smoothly, towards the end of my shift Carlos finished with the dishes and helped Tay assemble sandwiches. As the morning sun began to peak out on the horizon Ash and I had to move the trash cans back to where they were before. Soon after, morning shift people trickled in and it was time for me to go. My shift ended later than the others, and I said goodbye to Carlos and Ash as they left. When Tay left I said nothing to her, and she didn't even look at me as she left. When it was finally time for me to go, the sun was fully out from the horizon.
I shuffled to my locker and gathered my things before shuffling out the door and being blinded by the sun's piercing rays. Fuck, that felt like someone stabbed a needle in my eyes. I better remember to bring sunglasses tomorrow.
The sun beat down on me as I walked home. I felt like I was walking through the desert after a crash landing. I couldn't focus well and hoped no one would hit me with their car as I crossed the crosswalk. When I finally got home, I stripped off my clothes and collapsed into bed.
—
FirstPreviousNext

If you search American Home Shield on reddit all you get are angry posts filled with horror stories and wildly negative reviews. While I understand that their service definitely has holes, I think it's only fair to share what has been a not perfect, but generally positive experience since buying their home warranty in 2019 (nearly 5 years ago). Below I will list off the top of my head the claims I've submitted with them and their outcomes over the years.
DISCLAIMER I am located in Westchester County NY, a densely populated area with tons of contractors and service providers that compete with each other and can't afford to provide bad service. I think a lot of what I read happens in rural / less populous areas that perhaps don't have the incentive to care as much. AHS at the end of the day is only as good as the contractors they hire, which is not necessarily a level playing field throughout the country. Anyhow, I digress
CLAIM 1 Main drain line was clogged and backed up into my basement OUTCOME Plumber came within 2 days of calling, found the clogged and cleared it. I paid nothing but a service call.
CLAIM 2 Old refrigerator- track for the freezer door broke. Ice maker had been broken for a while so I included it in my claim OUTCOME Repairman came within 2 days of calling. He fixed the door issue relatively quickly but said he had to order a part for the ice maker. After some back and forth with him over the next 2-3 weeks, I got an email from AHS that the part wasn't replaceable and they offered me an $1100 home depot gift card to replace the fridge which I accepted. The fridge I bought was of course more than $1100, but I thought this was a decent outcome. Process took a while, probably 3 months total.
CLAIM 3 P-Trap leak under my kitchen sink. The same thing actually happened to my bathroom sink a year later so I'll include that in this recap OUTCOME Plumber came probably 4-5 days after calling and replaced the p trap both times. I honestly didn't love the plumber (was the same guy both times), but the job got done and I only paid the service call.
CLAIM 4 My main drain leaked again! OUTCOME Same plumber as above came out after a few days and unclogged. Turns out my son liked to get a little over-zealous with toilet paper so we had to have a talk. Issue was resolved though for only a service call, even though it was a repeat offense.
CLAIM 5 A/C broke during a summer heat wave OUTCOME This was tough because I don't think the a/c guy was able to come out same day, but he did come the next day. As a matter of fact, he called when he was on the way and my power had just gone out which meant he wasn't going to be able to fix anything. He was cool about it, said he'd make another stop first and hopefully power issue would be resolved by then, which it was. The repair was an easy one, a compressor which he replaced on the spot. Service call fee only once again
CLAIM 6 Leaky bathtub faucet OUTCOME Different plumber than I had in prior claims came out within 2-3 days of service call. He identified problem but had to order a part which took about a week to do. When he came back he quickly swapped out the part and as an added bonus fixed an issue I was having in the same shower with my drain. Service call only fee to me.
CLAIM 7 This just happened today, my oven and washing machine both broke within 2 days of eachother OUTCOME Technician came 5 days after calling (only because I wasn't available on an earlier day). The oven needed an ignitor which he had on him and fixed on the spot. Washing machine had some loose wire casing which was making a loud noise during spin cycle. He identified immediately and fixed. Best part was, even though there were 2 appliances broken, I only had to pay for one service call. This was probably the best technician I've had from AHS.
​
There are downsides for sure.

1. You are beholden to their contractors which is gonna be hit or miss.
2. If you have an emergency filing a claim with them isn't going to get you a fast result. As you can see above, it usually takes a few days for someone to come out. If I had a true emergency, I may go outside my warranty.
3. Calling someone from American Home shield is nearly impossible (unless of course you want to buy a new policy). You'll wait on hold forever to get someone from India who is not helpful. But you really don't need to call them often or ever, it's between you and the contractor after you file a claim (they do give you the contractor's phone number).
4. The price of the policy creeps up yearly, no question about that. At some point I might deem this not worth it.
5. If you do the math, you are definitely paying more yearly for the policy than you would for individual service calls, UNLESS something big goes (heating system, AC system, etc). But it's insurance, that's how insurance works. There is also a level of convenience involved here, something breaks you tap a button on your phone and someone calls u to schedule a time to fix it.

Anyway, that's my honest review. I am not unhappy that I have AHS, although my guess is one day the price will go up enough that'll make me cancel. But I wanted to make it clear that not every experience is a horror story, my experiences have been quite positive.