First Reddit post ever… apologize if this is the incorrect place.
I feel like many of our questions are rather simple but I cannot seem to find answers. Our HOA seems to have it out for us. The only reasoning I can come up with is most of the homeowners are original owners from when the homes were built. All elderly. ALL. We seem to be the first young couple to buy a home in the area, and this is the only conclusion I can come to as to why we’re being targeted. Below is a random list of things that have occurred over the first few years.
I would like to preface with ALL of the events below have happened on the day the board walks the neighborhood to review properties

1. People have come onto our property and removed a flag and flag pole and put it in our backyard. The flag and pole is completely in line with HOA rules and was actually there when we bought the house and we chose to keep it up. We never received a letter or request to take it down. Just came home one day to it disassembled and tossed in our back yard.
   
2. We have a small walkway that goes behind our backyard that is very highly trafficked. When we would have friends over it would get blocked by their cars (though completely legally parked by law and hoa rules) One of our friends came back to their car with a not so nicely written letter to not block the walkway. Keep in mind it is not a driveway or for house access it is for… walking your dog etc. through the neighborhood. We made an effort to ask all of our friends to not block it. One night my sister was leaving and came back to dog shit smeared all across her windshield.
   
3. Someone is using our trash can on trash days to expose of excessive amounts of dog waste. As far as I’ve been able to find this is actually illegal. It’s not just one baggy from a walk etc. I will come home on the day of trash disposal to it already having an amount of baggies exceeding people walking by. I wrote the hoa about this, and the board president responded in a nasty way how it was our fault for leaving the cans out too long after removal. I work all day and put them away as soon as I’m home…her remark basically justifying it was absurd to me.
   
4. We like to use a drying rack and have yet to put one up because we must submit an architecture approval form before putting one up. Taking 40-70 days to get approved. My understanding is in California they cannot impose unreasonable restrictions on the racks themselves, but can they require approval before putting them up?
   

There are many, many other things that have taken place but this gives the general idea. We’re just looking for a solution. I feel as though installing security cameras would fix a lot of our problems just as a deterrent but I’m concerned they would reject the application for installation. Any ideas of how we me may approach this? It may be a single individual we’re dealing with. But based on the responses we receive when expressing concerns it seems as though they’re all “out to get us”
Thanks in advance.

You make pretty regrettable mistakes when you're desperate. Unfortunately, desperation would go on to cost me much more than I ever thought possible.
When I was 19 years old my financial situation wasn't great. In what was left of a crumbling home would be my recovering addict twin sister, and myself. The unfortunate state of our home was all from the even more unfortunate passing of our parents just four years prior. The two hadn't died tragically by any means, thankfully. No.. our parents died of old age, a consequence of having us kids later in life, while not being able to take on the financial burden that would be.. us.
My sister was making the early steps into the college lifestyle, doing her best to stay afloat with my support in funding. Money was tight for the two of us, but as she became more well off on her own, the more content she was with severing the last remaining tie to her childhood.. me.
I didn't hate Xel for her decision, if anything I understood her distancing from this life.. even if it saddened me. So then it was just me! Left to a house with a hole in the ceiling. Believe it or not, life wasn't all to bad even with how considerably down in the dumps it otherwise seemed to be.
However, content as I might have been, it's human nature to want more than you have. Can't say I was to greedy to look for some comfortability in my own home..
And so there it was! The glistening letters of ink outlining my salvation. An advertisement I'd found plastered onto the wall of the small booth I sat at while I waited for the bus to carry me off to work. "$5,000 to those compatible for a recent scientific breakthrough." Under any 'normal' circumstances I would consider this a scam. Hell, I was skeptical as I scanned the letters. Had I been told of this opportunity through spam call or text I would've glossed right over it just as anyone else would have.. but I was desperate.
I think it was the fact that someone, some real person had to have put this paper up on this wall gave me some glimmer of hope for a quick cash grab. Listed bellow the promise of money was details for a number to call regarding interest in the proposition.
I took the bait.. I saw the line, and like some idiot I clamped my teeth down just for that hook to sweep me away.
The corporation I'd come to know as, "The Arsaction," would see me just a week later. There was a brief consultation. They took my weight, age, all things I would've expected. It wasn't until they pulled records regarding my familial situation that I began to find this whole ordeal.. suspicious.
To 'begin' to find things suspicious only at this point is foolish, something I full understand, but I feel the need to reinforce the fact that I, Lex McKarthy, was desperate.
Everything by this point seemed pretty legit. The blood tests, the doctors office, the tests were.. reasonable. What was I to suspect? Everything was so vague, and truth be told I honestly didn't even expect anything to come of this visit. All the doctors, all the consultants seemed so disinterested in my features.. but when they realized I had no one, everything seemed to change.
Suddenly ears perked, suddenly doors closed, suddenly I was.. exactly what they were looking for. Every feature of myself was so painfully average. I was anyman, I was.. nothing. Despite their best efforts to be discreate, I knew it was only the fact that nobody would come looking for me that peaked their interests.
My stomach dropped when I was faced with a pen in my hand, trembling over that NDA. Every fiber of me cursed myself for never considering putting just a minute of research into 'The Arsaction,' however a video briefing would ease my nerves. Nobody knew who The Arsaction was. There was no public record of their existence, and that NDA would make sure that they continued to never exist.
I was stupid, I was irrational, I was in over my head! But I was desperate.. and I had nothing else.
"I have nothing else.. I have nothing else!"
It was a mantra I chanted as I was injected with that substance. The substance that turned my blood orange, made my skin freakishly thin.
And then I went home.
That was it. I was given my sum of money, and I was sent home. They told me I was, "good to go," and no number of questions would get a one of them to speak. I was only met with who I'd assume to be security guiding me out of the building.
Not a word more of what I'd just been injected with, only given instructions to not dwell on mirrors for too long. That was it, just some ominous instructions. So I left, as befuddled as I arrived. Relief washed over me as I made my way home. The anxiety I'd received from such an ominous buildup was all waved by the fact that I was somehow just.. good to go?
Relief quickly turned to panic as the inherent nature of it all being too good to be true set in. I expected to die, I expected some visit from government agents, I expected anything and everything, but as months turned to years.. Nothing ever came of it. No mirror ever caused me any harm, which was its own anxiety I'd have to overcome simply because of the absurd nature or such a request.
I hoped it was.. some prank. Everything was well... for a time. Of course to disturb my peace, my sister called.
I just.. watched the phone ring. My sister, someone who I hadn't spoken to in upwards of 8 years was suddenly ringing me up. When I finally had answered, her question left me speechless.
"Hey Lex. would you happen to remember Mom's recipe for that egg toast? I think I left the cookbook at your place."
I felt my ears ring. The question was so.. casual. She entirely skipped the part where we discussed how she's been, how I'm doing. She spoke to me like we'd hung out only days ago.
At the time I'd thought I was just being dramatic, but looking back on it I can only justify my own hesitation to respond.
"W-..what?"
I stammered like a fool, but I was firm in my disbelief.
"Yeah, it should be in the book on the counter?"
I looked over my shoulder to my kitchen counter, past the toaster I never bought, and over to the book she spoke of. My jaw hung heavy, the whole interaction feeling like a dream.
With one hand I held the phone, and with the other I began to skim the pages of the book letting my eyes linger on mom's cinnamon roll recipe for a bit longer than intended.
"Lex.. are you ok?"
My sister inquired on the other end. I suddenly felt sick.. falling the the ground and laying on my back. This wasn't happening.
"Lex? Are you alright!?"
My sister repeated back more urgently, followed by her assurance that she would be over soon to check on me. But.. no company ever arrived. After hours the line just dropped, and I fell asleep there on that cold, wooden floor, paralyzed with a feeling I couldn't wrap my head around.
When I finally gathered the composure to stand I would try to call Xel back. A frown dawned my face when she never answered. Somehow this didn’t surprise me, and I was lead to believe that she had never called me in the first place. The thing is, the book was still on my counter, and her call was still logged on my phone.
Still, I hadn’t known Xel to do something like this. It wasn’t in her nature to do something so cruel, to act like all this time hadn’t passed.
But it has. Years have gone by and nothing but radio silence from her, a silence I feared would go on. The following days I would continue to attempt to call her, but to no avail.
I had to come to terms with the fact that, as quickly as she had returned too my life, Xel was once again gone. I’m ashamed to admit that, just as I’d forgotten that experience with The Arsaction several years ago, I’d forgotten about my own sister.
Even if she wouldn’t call back, I was inspired to begin looking through old family pictures, and this is where the oddities would start to fester.
I found a picture of Xel and I just.. eating breakfast. Usually my mom was off to work by then, but it was a special occasion. It was a day I remember so vividly. I was 14 years old at this time, and had awoke to the sweet smell of cinnamon rolls filling the air. After all, it was Xel’s and I’s birthday. All was right with the world, all as I climbed from the messy sheets in my dark room. It was abundantly clear that the bulb of the light beside my bed had burnt out over the course of the night, and the closed blinds didn't aid my vision as I stumbled around my room in search of my door.
An oddity presented itself in the fashion of aimless wondering. Where was the nob? One I'd become so accustomed to.. not needing to open? I'd never closed my door. Not the previous night, not ever. Not to the behest of my mother who'd always taken annoyance to closed doors, some trait of my grandmother's to which my mom had unfortunately inherited.
Breakfast took the form of two strips of bacon, scrambled eggs, and slightly burnt French-Toast. My previous assumption of cinnamon rolls unfortunately missed the mark, however I wouldn't object to this. I wish I could convince myself that I was wrong. Something so mundane, something so insignificant to the events in this story, however the first notable instance of a curse that I couldn't pinpoint
My mother had already seen herself off to work by this point, and so I was faced with the responsibilities of seeing myself out to the bus. Some routine I'd become far too used to; The minutes passed, leaving me with nothing to do but wait by the door for a buss that would never arrive.
If the door being shut and the cinnamon rolls being a different meal entirely had left me with a minor confusion, then suddenly being seated in the passenger seat of my mother's car listening to the nonchalant complaints from my twin sister about the nuances freshmen year math shot me into a disarray I couldn't possibly quantify.
I think one of the scariest things for me is the fact that I thought nothing of it. I hadn't freaked out. No scene was made to express what should have been one of the more disturbing instances of my childhood.
I could chalk up the mistaking breakfast for something else as me just misremembering events.. But something unmistakable is the fact that somehow my mom both never drove me to school, yet the fact that she.. always had.
If you're confused, I understand. I am too, because the contradicting nature of my memory is something that haunts me to no end.
Things were easier as a child. That's often the case, but ever sense I stopped aging, I've begun to notice the oddities presented by life that are.. inexplainable. I'm not even sure where to start with researching my predicament. Hell, this is reddit! If I couldn't find an answer here, I doubt there is an answer to be found at all.
The Mandela Effect is something that I feel needs no introduction. To those who don't know, the Mandela Effect, in brief, is a phenomenon that incurs when you "misremember" something. Think of a card, now imagine you saw that card as a child and it had a single heart drawn on it's center. Now, years later you are discussing this card with someone else just for them to tell you that the heart you swear, the heart you KNOW you saw.. was a diamond. You tell them they are wrong, you shake your head, chuckle nervously.. But then they present you with the card.
Your stomach drops. This can't be the card, there is no way! Only it is the card, and when you come to the realization that it is in fact the card you'd seen as a child, you are filled with a mix of confusion, fascination, and quite possibly denial.
Most often, the Mandela Effect is associated with silly things like books titles, and board game mascots, but my experience is far beyond such things. It's the only phenomenon I've found that seems even within the realm of explaining my predicament. Problem is, the more I think, the more is wrong.
All of me wishes it all ended with that one childhood experience! But it didn't. In fact, the more I consider my childhood, the more contradictions I notice. Part of me believes I could handle this if it was limited to my childhood, but it's not. This.. experience... It effects my every day!
I'm not losing my mind, I'm just picking up crumbs that I never dropped. Not.. losing my mind, just finding more "mind" than the inventory should account for.
As I stop and think now, I’m understanding that my memories are.. overlapping. Other mirrored versions of myself and my memories will occasionally cross paths, and when they do it causes me to misremember. Not because I don’t remember, but because my memories conflict with one another.
I wish I could see someone about this, but I’m worried the consequences of me seeking someone out.. still, we make dumb mistakes when we are desperate, and I’m starting to feel desperate again.

Not sure what I hope to gain from this but maybe there will be some clarity to gain from an objective opinion. That being said I will prob delete this later- but while I’m here I will try to be as detailed and neutral to the facts as I can be, but there is a lot of history in a 15 year relationship so get ready to read a small book. I M33, grew up in an abusive and poverty stricken home, naturally I escaped that situation as soon as I could (after high school in 2008) my parents would explode over the littlest thing- like the first time I recall thinking I could not rely on my dad was after witnessing him beat my sister to a pulp, and then threaten me about telling (I never did) over her bedroom being filthy. Now, between high school and meeting my now wife F34 I was in a committed long distance relationship. Not to dwell here as it has little to do with the story, that relationship ended Dec 1 2009, I made my way to a small college town and found a place to stay with a few friends I knew from high school. This could only be described as a party house that a few poor and brave folks lived. The rent was cheap and the people were good. Not to mention, it was easy to drowned my feeling with drugs and alcohol here and not be judged. This was right after the 2008 financial crisis and I had found employment delivering for a local restaurant, and was not interested in starting a new relationship. Well mid way through December one roommate decided he was moving out, which left a room open for rent. This is where I met who, at least at one point was the love of my life. Jen F34 was a recent college graduate, who comes from, what I would consider a well off family. Jen was part of some drama with her old roommates and decided she would move in. She had been accepted into a work training program that would send her to a new state 15 hours away, so she was also not interested in a serious relationship. Jen was seeing someone we will call Mark. Mark and Jen we in a non-serious sexual relationship. The moment I saw Jen something inside me said i want to be with her, but I was still fighting demons from my failed relationship. So I hung around her and was content just being a friend..well this goes on for about a month..before it happened. One drunk night and I am waking up, naked next to her..she was still seeing Mark at that point, and I had no idea what I had done. She broke it off with mark a few days later and I took his spot. As a non-serious sexual partner, well the months flew by then all of a sudden we both had caught feelings. We had finally agreed we would only see each other. Well one day I come home from work and she is cuddled up next to a guy we will call Adam. I was devastated. I confronted her and she played it off as nothing. Just passed out and woke up and he was next to her, I had my doubts but in the end believed her and forgot about it. As things got more and more serious the dread of her moving day was inching closer. We both were bothered by this. She wanted to stay, I said no. I eventually agreed I’d move to her after her training program. (She had to stay on a company campus for 3 months for training) during this time we were long distance- I worked my ass off to get ready for a cross country move and she was getting a place ready for us to live. During this time she went out with “friends” and said she would call me after. 2 am nothing, 3 nothing 4 I’m worried sick and finally fell asleep around 4:15am. My phone goes off at 5am. She calls me incoherent and making 0 sense. I thought again she may have cheated on me but again no evidence- said she got a bit to drunk and stayed out too late. I again believed her. I was able to forgive and get over it- I’m not the type to stress over anything that’s not life changing so moving day arrives. I get all my stuff in order jump on the greyhound and start my journey. Dying inside to finally see my women again, well 22 hours later I arrived. She was supposed to be there to pick me up but she was no where to be found. I text and called, she finally answered and was very short with me, and pulled up a short while later. As soon as I got in the car she was mad. Telling me I should not have come, it was a mistake etc. we get to the apartment and I’m feeling like a sucker for being there, we have some food and she apologized for her actions in the car and we moved forward. Well the next almost two years of our relationship was amazing- epic sex life, passionate about each other the whole 9. Some minor drunk arguments here and there but nothing crazy. I consider this the best time of my life. Around 3 years in our relationship we got pregnant. Over those 9 months we were closer than ever. Excited to bring a beautiful baby into to this world, scared beyond words but happy. Then one day she was in pain and pretty sure she was in labor. We get to the hospital and thus starts one of the most traumatizing experiences for her. Extended labor time, breach baby, intense pain and anxiety followed by a c-section, and a multi-night stay in the hospital. Then a long recovery process. Needless to say being young, broke, new parents is probably the hardest thing I have ever experienced and can admit that experience must have been even worse for her and while life as new parents took hold she grew into a nurturing mother while I regressed. I was over worked, underpaid, stressed out and took what was a minor drinking habit to an excessive drinking habit. This was the start of a long line of huge fights, financial problems, and ultimately leads us to know. chewing on the idea of divorce. But before I get to now, let’s do a quick life recap. My wife and I are living together with our newborn, isolated from friends and family, I’m quickly drinking more and more. I worked an over night labor job, and Jen was still working for the same company. But more of an 8 - 5 we only saw each other in passing most days. Our blessing was colic and cried constantly. We both began to feel like we needed to be close to friends so we packed up and move back after her contacted ended a year later. Back to the small sleepy college town we met. We moved back, our kiddo was 1, things were looking up, I had gotten a day job- our kiddo was finally sleeping better, really it seemed good. But since her c-section a year prior, we had only managed to have sex a few times. I thought this would be the change we could to finally revive our bedroom life. But it hardly changed, add a few more times to the few mentioned before. We went from daily to basically none, not to mention we would constantly fight about things that need to be done, money, etc. I’ll admit I did not do my part of house work. So things are starting to fall apart- I’m still drinking heavily, our bedroom was on life support and I fucked up and started watching porn, browsing sites akin to tinder. I have to say I never actually hooked up with anyone but I did get some photos sent to me. Not my proudest moment. Well I arrived home from work and Jen had found said communications and browsing history and was rightfully mad. After a week or so staying with a friend and she allows me to apologize , I assured her it was nothing more than digital and explained how I felt about our sex life, or lack of one specifically. Things kind of improved for a bit, I stopped drinking, we were being intimate, we got married, she quit working and went for a graduate degree, I had found more gainful employment. until one day Jen noticed something new on my body.. a wart to be specific. At some point I contacted HPV. Which then made me look like a liar. (I since found out it was a girl i had a one night stand with shortly before my prior relationship. (Common friend told me years later))but I had no explanation or evidence to prove my infidelity was not physical. Well after this happened things got bad, really bad. I started drinking heavily again, right into financial ruin. We were broke, rent due, hungry baby, relationship just about dead. 0 bedroom life. I never said I was the good guy here. Just trying to be honest about our past. So we need cash quick so we don’t fall behind on bills, it is eventually decided she will strip for cash until we can get out of the hole I dug us. I’m pretty insecure but we had no other choice. I was handling it pretty well, until I noticed something in her attitude. She would get home and try to initiate sex with me. It was welcome but odd- till this point we had a half dead bedroom for years. I pried it out of her that stripping turned her on and instantly felt disgust. I lost it on her, how could she- come home and fuck me smelling like alcohol and bathroom cologne. Can’t fuck them at the club easily so come home and pretend I’m someone that turns you on. Had we not had issues overall in the bedroom I would not have felt this way but this made me feel gross, betrayed, guilty, angry. She obviously is mad at me since it’s my fault she was there. We had a fight and somewhat made up. Bedroom life was slow, life went on, things are pretty crappy and one night she goes out with a friend and shows up back at our place, hammered, with a guy from the bar. Our child was asleep in the room and that man is lucky I did not shoot him. She claims he was her friends stray but she let a stranger come to OUR HOUSE. Well at this point, i was mad but eventually just got over it. Life moved on we came out of the financial hole moved to a nicer place and began work towards saving for a home. She was still stripping on and off to help save. Well then she actually cheated on me, with another girl I front of a group of guys for money. I’m died inside at this point. I fell back to drinking heavily, again sexually all but dead. I basically repressed it and allowed her to get off easy (when she found my digital infidelity years prior I had to stay with a friend for a week) over this time, things are quite- status quo- saving for our first home. After some time like this I got a new job- and we could finally purchase. So we did- just before the pandemic. Our bedroom was basically dead- only initiated by me, was pretty one sided and seemed like she was just doing it to appease me. Constantly fighting of little things like chores (if I did not do them exactly the way or time she wanted it done WW3 would break out) but we managed. The the pandemic happened. We decided we would move closer to her family so we could have some support and hopefully work on us. We were able to live with her family for the next 1.5ish years. I only recall having sex twice during this time. (Could have been more but like I said I’m still drinking at this point) we bicker constantly during this time. Mind you all I am slowly at this dying on the inside this whole time. We had a major blow up in front of everyone a few days prior to closing. Stemming from myself feeling generally put out. Stick in a sexless marriage and the fact that I had a work thing in Vegas for a week. We sign - I leave for Vegas- she organizes the movers and get everything in. We have our own space again. Now we are almost to the present day. I again found new employment and have a high stress, high 6 figure salary career we have had many of fights due to chores, and household duties etc. she was convinced it was due to alcohol so I finally quit drinking for good. The goal was to hopefully fix this relationship, have a more intimate bedroom. In fact this was agreed upon when I quit. Some of the other things that have been said in these arguments was that she is working and trying to find better work so she can financially afford to leave me. She currently works on a “less than part time” contract work type stuff but is basically is a SAHM. I pay 100% of everything. This is now 6 months after I stopped drinking and there has been no change in our bedroom life. 3.5 weeks ago: I calm Loy state that I thought we agreed on the spicing up the bedroom with more frequently maybe some lingerie. I am getting a bit frustrated with this. Her: I just started my period but I hear you. A week goes by period done still nothing. 2 weeks ago Friday: we are sitting on the couch. I am feeling very much frustrated sexually. We are watching tv together, and I make a comment about one of the people. Here is what happened : Person on TV while crying “I recently found out my body produces excess estrogen” me: must be why you’re so emotional. Her: you’re a sexist pig, a misogynist, thats a misnomer and actually testosterone does that and so many other things I forget them all but that was the gist. Just offended. I apologized and said it was just a dumb comment. Somewhat calmed down but the energy was thick. Then I made my second mistake: a morbidly obese person came on screen wearing a sold color onesie. I muttered : dude looks like a bowling ball. And that was it- I’m a disgusting pig and she is going to bed. I sleep on the couch that night seething that again no sex, again random attacks against my character, again using something like a comment about a person on screen to go to bed. Saturday: my kiddo sees me on the couch, asks “dad can you make me an omelet.” Me still upset with how the night ended with my wife- complained about not wanting to make it- and eventually agreed. While cooking breakfast - wife comes downstairs and immediately starts in on me, ignoring my advances for a hug, telling me i need to walk the dog because she doesn’t have time. I also needed to run an errand before the kiddos sports ball game. I told her kind of angrily I had shit to do as well and what is preventing her from doing it. Well she does, things are quiet, we get to the game and we are sitting there. She brings up the comments of the night before and started this whole thing in public. Trying to get me to lose my temper in public. I was able to ignore it and just finish the game. Pushed all that down and was ready to move on. We get home from the day’s activities and she does what she always does says good night to the kiddo and gets ready for bed. Again I sleep on the couch. Sunday: she wakes up and starts cleaning, I try to be nice again- making advances to hug her, kiss her etc. I walked the doggo, not asked to do so- kiddo asks me to cook some food again so I do. No complaint, but while I’m cooking she makes another comment about my character. And brings up Friday again. I lost it: I was screaming at her like I never have before. Told her I wanted a divorce, that she clearly doesn’t want this it’s why she can’t even pretend to want me sexually and that I am nothing more than an ATM for her at this point. The rest of Sunday and Monday was silent. This is when I started this novel of a post. Finally she apologized and admitted to being cold to me, promised to work on this. Tuesday, best sex we have had in a decade, Wednesday, repeat action, Thursday a 3rd time. This past Friday- I was spent this was more sex than I had in a row in years. I was happy. Saturday, family members bday and another sports game. All day gone- everything good. We get home late- she is tired no problems. Sunday Mothers Day. We had plans with her family to do some hiking the first part of the day then have lunch and play a game. Everything is going fine. It starts to get around 3:00 pm and I tell her I am ready to go home. She said we have not played the game and that she wanted to. So I agree- we play a few rounds and during the game she could see that I was getting annoyed that we had to play another round I was not being rude but just not enthusiastic about ti. She looked at me and said I need to check myself. The way she said it, the fact she said it at the table so everyone could hear. I felt disrespected, we left and argued a little but I ended up saying sorry because ok I get it my fault. So we get home and she comes into my office space (which was dirty) glasses, and tons of boxes /other recycling that had not be taken care of. She told me to do it I agreed it was gross and started picking up. She kept on about how I’m disgusting for leaving it in the first place- etc I calmly asked her to just leave it alone and drop it, I’d take care of it but she didnt after 10 mins of her spewing on me I finally lost it and told her to get the fuck out of my office if she doesn’t like it. That I’m tired of the hostility and it’s clear she didn’t actually want to fix this. She kept asking me to lower my volume while telling me why she is right, brining up everything from the prior week. I did not lower my volume I got louder and more upset till she goes to bed and I sleep on the couch again. Monday: we argue more. The general mood is “how could I blow up on her on Mother’s Day.” That she is done etc. as soon as she can financially leave she will. I said why wait and asked her to stay with her mother for a few days- she refused to, so I left to a hotel room. Today was more of the same: not accepting that she had a part in the argument. That I just freaked out over her asking me to clean up. We have eventually agreed to give therapy a shot but here I sit, in my hotel room. Contemplating life I can’t help but feel we gave it our best but we were doomed to fail. I really don’t want to lose my family. but neither of us can take the current state anymore. What does the world of Reddit think?

This is my list of the top 10 non hardcore emo albums post 2000. I did not include any hardcore or true pop punk albums. Obviously this comes down to personal preference, and the emo genre is so diverse this was a difficult list to make. I think I did a decent job of putting together a solid list of diverse emo albums. Let me know your top 10 list! I want to note that I only chose one album from every artist to go on this list. I honestly believe 5 of the 10 bands have more than one album that could potentially make this list, but I wanted to give a nod to a few other lesser known bands and albums. I put the list with no commentary first so people would not be forced to wade through my reviews to see the list.
My Top 10 Emo Albums: 1. Turnover - Peripheral Vision 2. Citizen - Youth 3. Movements - Feel Something 4. Tigers Jaw - Self Titled 5. The Hotelier - Home, Like No Place There Is 6. City and Colour - Bring Me Your Love 7. A Great Big Pile of Leaves - Snack Attack 8. Pinegrove - Marigold 9. Gleemer - Down Through 10. Foxing - The Albatross
Honorable Mention: 1. Secondhand Serenade - Awake 2. For When You Can’t Breathe - A Home That Doesn’t Exist
Quick Album Reviews:

1. Turnover - Peripheral Vision This is and will always be my top album. A true masterpiece to my ears. The music is dreamy, but they still kept some of the heaviness from earlier albums. That Roland JC-120 tone will always be legendary. The lyrics are super emo, but it doesn't sound dark unless you really listen. I have played this album at the cafe, and more than once I have had someone mention, “This music is so happy” lol. Go read the lyrics and get back to me on that. The lyrical content is approachable and relatable. Solid 10/10.
   
2. Citizen - Youth This album simultaneously rocks and jams. The guitars can be heavy at times, but the mix of calm and heavy parts is a genius execution. The Vocals are something of magic. The mix of the clean and yelling vocals not only fits the style but also adds a ton of dynamics. The lyrics are gut wrenching. Songs like “The Night I Drove Alone” are an all too real description of what living with suicidal ideation is like. This is the closest thing to being a hardcore album on this list, except maybe the Hotelier album, but I believe it is much more approachable than your average hardcore album, as the vocals do not really scream. 9.5/10
   
3. Movements - Feel Something This album does not rock as hard as “Youth” but It does jam twice as hard. Now don’t get me wrong: it rocks…hard. The lyrics and melodies on this album may be my favorite on any emo album. The lyrics are clever and witty, and the melodies are smooth and memorable. This is an album I have to sing along to when I listen to it. I believe the first 5 songs on this album may be the best 5 song stretch on any emo album ever produced. These songs together get a 10/10. The only things I didn't really care for at first were the spoken word parts. The words are great, but spoken word just really isn't my thing. It takes me back to my days in the evangelical church, but I have grown to love it. 9.5/10
   
4. Tigers Jaw - Self Titled This is a classic emo album. Personally it is not even my favorite Tiger’s Jaw album. For my personal taste “Spin” takes the cake, but there is no denying that the Self Titled album was more successful and had a larger influence on emo music as a whole. The music is very raw. It could have easily been produced in a bedroom, though it was recorded in a real studio. The guitars and vocals are both pretty raw. It has very little pop influence in the sense that it is not very polished. Let’s be honest, that is one of the major draws to the album. The lyrics, though silly at times, are very real and raw. “What about your friends, do they make you happy?” “Lie to me like you used to” “We are made from chemicals, but what holds us together is much more than that” This album showcases great lyricism and melody building. 9/10
   
5. The Hotelier - Home, Like No Place There Is Many avid emo fans consider this album to be the best emo album ever produced. I agree that it is one of the best. The music ranges from pretty heavy to chiller alt rock. It does have some screamo style vocals, but that is not the majority of the vocals, which is why it's not on the hardcore list. “Life In Drag” is 100% screamo, “Housebroken” is a chill alt song, and songs like “Among The Wildflowers” and “Your Deep Rest” are an excellent combination of both. The lyrics are another example of top tier lyricism in the emo genre. The song “Your Deep Rest” may be the most gut wrenching song I have ever heard in any genre. 9/10
   
6. City and Colour - Bring Me Your Love This is the only acoustic album to make the top 10. I listened to this album from 2008 to 2015 before I even realized that most people even considered it emo. I just saw it as an awesome acoustic album. The music overall has a pretty dark sound especially for an acoustic album. The sound reminds me a bit of The Spill Canvas’ “Sunsets & Car Crashes” album but it is much more refined and has a more pop style production. Dallas’ advanced guitar skills and beautiful and soulful vocals are really a thing of beauty. My first year in college this was my drink and be sad album. It is incredibly dark. “Every man needs a muse and mine could be the bottle” “It's passion, it's not love. Infatuation never ends up right. At least I won't be alone tonight.” “We celebrate the lives of the dead. It's like a man's best party, only happens when he dies.” 8.5/10
   
7. A Great Big Pile of Leaves - Snack Attack A Great Big Pile of Leaves is the least popular band to make this list, but honestly one of the most original emo bands I’ve ever heard. This album has a super fun and happy sound. The music jams and groves very hard, while having a calming effect on the listener. This is a great album to take a nap to. The lyrics can be pretty silly with songs about a wild mouse in the house that they consider a pet, slumber parties, and going back to school. They prove that being happy and joyous are also worthwhile emotions. It is not all fun and games though, it also includes themes of those you trust letting you down, and the struggle of being introverted. I have never related to a song more than “Ambervision” 8.5/10
   
8. Pinegrove - Marigold I'm sure there will be plenty of people who will question why I chose this album over all the other bangers Pinegrove has released. It is one of Pinegrove’s least successful albums. They have obviously had several hits bigger than any of the songs on this album, but the overall album is so cohesive and perfectly executed. Every song’s sound fits perfectly into the style of the whole album. My biggest complaint about Pinegrove, and the reason I disliked them for so long, is because they have such a country (It is fair to say folk) sound. I grew up in East Texas where country music is king, and I always hated it with a passion. This is the album where they leaned the most heavily into the country sound. The melodies have a slight twang and the harmonies are obviously country inspired. The reason I chose this album is because they were able to take elements of music that I hate and make me love it. So Good! 8.5/10
   
9. Gleemer - Down Through This is the most recent album to make the top 10 list. This band is also fairly unknown. I actually did not discover them until maybe a month ago. It may be fair to say that my introduction to this album is too fresh to make it on this list, but It is simply that good. The first time I heard it I knew it would be one of my favorites. It has that dreamy aspect that made Peripheral Vision such a huge hit. I dream of the day that every emo band realizes that a strong chorus effect and intense reverbs are their friend. It is a bit heavier than PV, not by much. The lyrics are very poetic and leave the meaning a bit up to interpretation but they are dark and without a doubt emo. The choruses are catchy, but they do not quite have the sing along factor of PV. Dreamy Emo/Shoegaze for the win! 8/10
   
10. Foxing - The Albatross I actually saw Foxing open up for Tigers Jaw back in 2017, before I had ever heard their recorded music. I really enjoyed it. They slap live. A few months after the concert I was playing random emo music in the cafe and the song “the Medic” came on. I was jamming to it and in the middle of the song I realized, “Holy shit, I saw these guys live”. This is another album that has a crazy 5 song stretch. The first 5 songs are on another level. 9.5/10. “Pent Up In A Blind” is a short interlude instrumental but it perfectly bridges “The Medic” and “Rory” which are undeniably the best two songs on the album. It is dark and depressing, but their musicality is something I have never heard from an emo band. The sound on this album is very unique in the genre. They use a trumpet (which is sick live) and the guitars have a slight midwest emo style, with the sweeping guitar parts on some of the songs, but the tone is unlike what you would hear in midwest emo. The rest of the album is solid, but very instrumental heavy which is the only reason the overall album was dropped down to a 8/10
    

Honorable Mention:

1. Secondhand Serenade - Awake In my mind this is the second best acoustic emo album out there. It is much more polished and poppy than anything else that made the actual top 10. The vocals utilize some fairly significant pitch correction, which becomes obvious when you hear the songs live. He uses pitch correction, but it feels more like an effect than it does about fixing vocal imperfections. The vocals needed to be that perfect to fit the style of the music. Secondhand Serenade used amazingly written harmonies to add depth and dynamics to the music. SS utilizes some unique tunings and chords in his music. I learned so much about playing the acoustic guitar from this album. Just like City and Colour I never considered SS an emo band until around 2015. That’s when I looked past the beautiful music and took a deeper look into the lyrics and realized, “Damn, this guy was going through some shit.” I always considered it a love album, as there are some beautiful love songs, but if you look deeper you will see that they are all about trying to fix messed up relationships. Not exactly as happy as the songs sound.
   
2. For When You Can’t Breathe - A Home That Doesn’t Exist This album was just released this year, by an artist that released their first song in 2022. They are almost completely unknown with less than 36,000 monthly listeners on Spotify (most of those have come in the last few months). The newness of the artist does not detract from the perfection of this album. It has dreamy guitar tones, especially on the verses. The choruses have a strong pop punk feel. The vocals feature both super clean poppy melodies, and yelling and screaming. It kind of feels like a mix of Secondhand Serenade’s clean vocals, Peripheral Vision’s guitar tones, Mayday Parade’s choruses, and the raw vocals of Hotelier. Seriously a cool mix of music and styles. It is everything my 17 year old scene self hoped emo music would be in 15 years.
   

I've spent this year subbing after last year finishing my degree, subbing, and student teaching. Which means I've had two years of keeping an eye on teacher jobs being posted, and I cannot discern any trend of there being a shortage in any field or at any grade level. Job postings, yes, but they are getting filled quickly, I don't see how that equals a shortage.
There is little chance that I am going to move to a big city I've never lived in, don't know anyone, and can't really afford to take a first year teaching job that I can just get non-renewed at when the school year ends.
I was talking to a guy working at my school (as a para) who just finished the same Masters program as I did in the same subject and I said "guess we are competing for jobs, then" jokingly. He just said it wouldn't matter because he wasn't even planning on applying for jobs within this state. Because there weren't any.
I got into teaching because I thought I'd be great teaching English at a community college, but I get ghosted by every community college I've applied to.
People have told me, over and over, that in education it is about who you know if you are going to get a good job. That or you need to apply everywhere and just uproot your life completely for a job in a city with rents you won't be able to afford. Add to that you may not have a job after a year, even if you do a great job due to school districts using non-renewals as an excuse to keep labor prices down by continually hiring first year teachers. People have told me, over and over, that I might have also overqualified myself and that is why I am not getting a job. Never had a classroom, but got a masters in teaching because it included a teacher prep program and was roughly the same amount of work/cost as any other teacher prep program. But people with masters get paid more (in most school districts this is part of union contracts), and I have zero experience with having my own classroom (because, yeah, no one hired me yet) so I am slightly more expensive but potentially as qualified as someone right out of college.
I get it. In a tight market this makes total sense. But there is a teacher shortage, everyone so everyone needs to step up. I stepped up. I don't want to have to take a job thousands of miles away from where I live. I don't want to move to take a job that has a half-life of one year. I don't want to move to take a job that is going to make it difficult for me to afford housing anywhere near that job.
There is not a teacher shortage. There is a budget crisis in public education. There is not a shortage of people willing to work, there is a shortage of people willing to pay teachers a salary they can live on and give them any sense of personal or professional stability.

So I made this comment to another person's post recently about her feeling annoyed at the teachestudent relationship in Maxton Hall and that it wasn't being properly addressed as toxic. I agree. But that's hardly my only issue with the show. Because a lot of really young people are into these genres, I feel the need to address these points as someone who's actually lived the Ruby/James storyline, different ways and multiple times. A veteran, one might say. You can take my statements as a grain of salt, or whatever you like, but may those who have ears listen:
Spoilers throughout if someone hasn't finished the season:
This is the thing...I actually find the lead actors cute and super talented even despite this being a genre that I find deplorably predictable and drab. I actually only got invested to improve my German, sadly now I'm actually invested in the characters at this point despite me seeing everything that's going to happen a mile away, because a lot of these writers who may actually be creative but stifle it for the sake of hashing out another "proven to make money" storyline that has been recreated time and time again. Yes, the teachestudent situation is problematic not because they're both consenting individuals who or of age, but because apparently they knew each long before which hints that she would've most likely have been a minor when the relationship took form. Maybe people who have read the books can shed better light on the matter.
Beyond that, my biggest issue with these common bad boy meets good girl trope shows beyond how oversaturated the romance world is with these stories (damn, not even a reversal like good boy meets bad girl), is the very negative expectations they put on real girls out there. These stories fuel the idea that they "can fix him" and even those overly toxic traits he possesses should be downplayed in some way, and even the slightest redeemable qualities he shows should be made out as holy. This is one of the large reasons I hate this genre. For example, despite James's slight transition in S1 (and yes, I'm fully aware that he will most likely continue to change for the better in some ways), to say I think Ruby deserves better is an understatement. Women/girls keep fawning over the swimming pool scene where he saves Ruby, but I was honestly pissed at him for this whole catastrophic scenario and how it unfolded. Firstly, he invited her to this godforsaken hive of scum and villainy of a party despite him knowing full well this is not normally her scene, ignores Ruby's actualized fears of pupils teasing hedisliking her for being with James, and gives her an invitation into the lion's den thinking she'll come out unscathed? For someone who hints at himself having an impressive GPA, I'm not impressed by his lack of logical deduction. When viewed from this perspective, the blame of Ruby getting pushed into the pool and being triggered into a panic attack that nearly got her drowned largely rests on James's shoulders, especially as one of the sole people at that party claiming to "care" about her. Despite this, no open moment from James of reflection of responsibility for what took place there and nothing even remotely resembling an apology not even the following morning of the incident, but rather even gave off the impression that it wasn't even that big of a deal. He sent a text asking if she was doing better (not even the first text the following morning, mind you), and that was the end of that. Not a question or care more before a slew of flirting between the two. Of course, at that point Ruby is already infatuated with him, so it makes little difference. But to someone from the outside looking in, the selfishness and ambivalence is glaringly obvious.
It's an ongoing theme in S1 that apparently getting apologies out of James is like pulling teeth (another highly toxic masculinity trait that we need to stop treating with humor or something "enduring" when interest is involved). I believe I counted him saying it only twice in the last episodes and it was always backed by some sort of excuse "but I did it because I was embarrassed by my parents...sorry, but I can't...my father...etc." In reality he's been needing to give proper apologies since the show began, but the moment he finally formulates the words, it's always accompanied by some excuse? Immaturity. What was the topper on the cake for me and an ultimate red flag (yes, yes...it's fantasy, a show...but in real life, run for the hills), he continues to take decisions that should normally involve both of them, into his own hands and gravely gauging her whims wrongly in these situations. First with the poster of them, then again ending the relationship in order to "protect" her. He's very creative at finding solutions when it's getting back at Ruby for things in the beginning, but now he's just willing to throw in the towel anytime he has to fight for their relationship? Again questioning his logical capabilities and even his intentions at this point. Perhaps it's actually just rooted in him being afraid of commitment after a life of whoring himself out to hush people up or a slew of one night stands which has left him detached? If not, as I suspect it isn't, a form of self-sabotage due to his father's hold on him. I know it's most likely the latter, and as relatable and sad as that may be, this is catastrophic and needs therapy to get resolved. Rose-tinted romance isn't going to fix that (trust me, speaking from experience, girlies). And to make matters worse, I can read the handwriting on the wall from the last episode ending, that James is liable to take matters into his own hands again and hurt Ruby because he keeps trying to decide what HE thinks is best for HER life. I'm not a teen or in my early twenties watching this show, so I tend to view these from a mother hen type of perspective. If you see a guy like James Beaufort, it might be entertaining on TV or film, but in REAL life, run for the hills unless you have written proof he's attending therapy and counselling for his issues and start seeing a difference. My interest in the show is starting to wane after already guessing (like most things in this show and others of its genre) what's coming next season...such as James getting cold feet, taking executive control of their relationship again and bailing...very sure. I don't even need to read the books for that. I've lived this, girlies.
Hopefully, the writers exceed my expectations and do something unexpected. As I said in another post, it wouldn't be the most drastic of plot twists, but make the chauffeur the old flame James's mother was alluded to and have James secretly be his kid, which would give light on why he acts like a father figure (or at least the closest positive one James has) and his passionate defense of James. That would maybe keep me invested and one my toes knowing there are actually all these secrets being unraveled. Okay, anyway, that's my rant on this. That was waaay too long. Bye.

Romans 1:26-28 TW "clobber" verses
Hi everyone, I don't usually post on here but I saw someone raise an interesting point which didn't get answered on a separate thread. I'm bisexual, and I've been deconstructing for the last year to equate my Christian faith from being someone who was previously deeply closeted and homophobic, to wildly supportive as an ally before realising oh heck wait.. I might not be straight either. I'm in an extremely strict Christian social circle, (evangelical) and tho I'm not out publicly, I've been put through the paces to explain myself (eyeroll) at why I'm not studying the Bible and coming to the same conclusions my homophobic friends are essentially.
Ultimately let me share my views: I very strongly believe the Bible has been edited again and again, to agendas of misogyny for example, due to the cultures of the time. However I fail to see how God would send good, loving, consensual homosexual people to hell with the likes of Hitler (for example) for loving the "wrong" person. All love comes from God after all. I believe that ANY healthy relationship, God has placed us into.
I've got answers for 3 out of the 4 "clobber verses" that I know, (the mistranslation argument that there were no loving consensual homosexual relationships in biblical times and what the various people namely Paul was addressing and in Leviticus was the fact that it was common practice for a Roman man to assert dominance on his slaves by raping them, and then (Lev) hiring male prostitutes was a sin.
However - I've realised if anyone questions me on where lesbian and gay sexuality is condemned in Romans 1:26-28, I haven't got an answer to hand except for repeating the above.
Much might still apply but I'm wondering if anyone's ever looked into the translations of this etc. I know it's told in a story context of "this people were evil worshipped false gods etc, and so God "gave them over" to "unnatural and lustful desires " in "exchange for the natural (straight) ones".
However it also talks about their sinful (straight) desires in the paragraph above as well.
This Could have been Paul's take on this story and he was deathly homophobic as we all know. I'm just wondering if anyone has a biblical answer I can shut Evangelicals up with 😆

Asgard 1827
The Trial of Asgard made national news in Valhalla . Brunhilde stood there in front of many gods, each vote determining her faith . Does she live or die ? Only odin can make that judgment. Heimdall opened a pamphlet speaking though his horn “ Brunhilde, eldest sister of the gods ! You stand accused of crimes against Humanity and Goding alike ! How do you plead ? “. Brunhilde rolled her eyes before speaking her mind . “How do I plead ? What crimes are you talking about ? I was making coffee before me and Randgriz were arrested on the spot “ she spoke out . “ Don't play dumb Brunhilde I saw you cast forbidden spells and illegal magic “ Odin told everyone. Despite the bold straight up lie hilde remained as calm as ever . Using magic and spells is more for Gondul and she is too smart to get caught. What did Odin really want and why is he dragging Randgriz of all demigods.“Nonsense ! My sister would never so such a ““SILENCE “ Odin shouted but Randgriz stood her ground ready to face death itself to protect Brunhilde. Meanwhile in another area. Loki used his blades to slice the doors open splitting them in half. Beelzebub was in the middle of an experiment his red eyes shooting at loki. “This better be good “ he whispered. “It is Brunhilde and Randgriz lives are a stake during the trial “ Loki spat out in a panicked state . “ Why should I care about some demigod's life when I don't even care about my own? “ Beel questioned. “It's because I know you hate Odin and would do anything to spite him how dare he label you as a freak when he is just as bad “ Loki answered “ Hurry we are running out of time ! “ . “What do you get out of this ? “ Beel stood up . “ I owe Brunhilde a favor “ A flashback of small Loki almost getting eaten by a giant snake until Brunhilde saved him by slicing it in half with a scythe
. “Be more careful child “ she turned around seeing the scared loki shiver .
The flash back ended with Brunhilde standing off to Odin . “Confess your crime or serve death “ A purple hue spear floated over him. “ I choose death, “ Brunhilde replied. “ Brun no ! “ Randgriz screamed buy it was too late . The spear launched at her body with such force blood she was pushed back to the wall. Brunhilde refused to give up despite all the pain seeping into her. “ This is the end of the road valkyrie…” Odin whispering. The last thing she saw was the gods demonic smile before everything faced to black.
“Is she alive ? “
“Wait “
“What if he killed her ? “
“Wait “
“ Is she dead ?”
“I will slap you “
“Yikes chill emo “
Brunhilde woke up in the lab with purple ,red and green eyes staring at her. “ What just happened…” Brunhilde felt a tight hug from Randgriz “ You are alive! “ Grizz cried out. “Yes …I am …” Brunhilde realized. “However at a price ….” Beel commented . “What did you do demon? “ Brunhilde hissed . “ Weird way of thanking someone for saving your life “ Beel brushed that comment off. The valkyrie gave him a weird look , “ Don't mention it I only did it to piss off Odin “ Beel shrugged. “Wait Mr Beel what “price “ are you talking about ? “ Grizz asked. “Oh well being a demigod you are more human then god now “ Loki jumped in stuttering at every word. “Meaning you can't fly , super strength and speed is gone, no more soul connection or anything that would make you a valkyrie “ Loki explained some more “ I had to do something to get Beel to save your life “. “ I'm not mad Loki “ Brunhilde took a deep breath “ This is just a sign that I need to leave asgard now …” Brunhilde stated . “I'm coming with you “ Randgriz sat next to her “ If I stay I'm dead Valkyrie walking “. “Plus it's no longer possible to survive here, however despite losing most of your powers there is still a place for you “ Beel mentioned “ Loki will take you “ . “Wait, what about our sisters ! “ Randgriz started to cry . Loki and Beelzebub looked at each other. “ We will figure that part out but remember if Odin catches wind they die too “ Loki pointed out . “Yes but faking our deaths still sounds horrible, “ Randgriz shook her head. “ Alright I'll do something you will see them again soon “ Beel told her “ Overall you both need to leave as soon as possible “ . “Follow me there is not much time “ Loki used his magic to make a portal . The scenery revealed a large Eiffel tower and people walking by . “ Once we step in there is no going back “ Randgriz shivered. “We don't have a choice “ Brunhilde stepped in holding Randgriz hand to help her . “Even if we never meet again Lord Loki, thank you for saving my life “ Brunhilde bowed down. “ No Brunhilde…thank you for saving mine “ Loki smiled, closing the portal. “So this is our new home “ Randgriz looked around seeing things that just aren't familiar anymore .
5 years later 1832
Late in the afternoon at the Salle Pleyel concert there was the sound of the piano . The fast paced music made everyone in the area cheer . The musician had blonde brown hair that passed his ears . He waved it back and forth like a rockstar smashing his keyboards so hard you would think he broke them. The crowd cheered his name “LISZT LISZT LISZT LISZT “ , fangirls jumped up and down going crazy over him . Brunhilde and Randgriz sat down in chairs watching the man go , “ His music is very rough and insane ..reminds me of home listening to vikings “ Brunhilde mentioned. “ I don't know who is making me more deaf the music or the annoying girls “ Randgriz covered her ears, “If it's too much for you then why did you bother coming? “ Brunhilde gave her a look. “ I don't wanna be alone “ Grizz admitted, “By the way ,..why are you wearing a suit “ Brunhilde wondered . “ The human women show too much window and well sister you don't show just the window the entire frame is gone leaving only thin fabric “ Randgriz gave her honest opinion. “ I don't need a lesson on modesty “ Brunhilde focused her attention on Liszt who kept playing . His piercing green eyes gave her a wink . “Was he winking at me ? “ Brunhilde turned to Randgriz. “Probably or at the other women fawning over him “ Grizz stated . “Yeah you're right “ Brunhilde relaxed some more “Not like I care he is a massive playboy breaking one heart after another I'm not going to fall for that plus I'm not a noble “. “You are right Hilde you aren't..you are a demigod , from our divine perspective human nobility is just fancy talk for commoner” Grizz whispered.
“ Randy shhhh we aren't in Valhalla anymore “ Brun reminded her , “ If looks could kill you would be a serial killer by now “ Randgriz laughed “ I mean I'm not wrong if an Archduke came to Valhalla and started bossing everyone he would be laughed at “. That comment made by a few folks behind her gave the sisters an irritated glare . “Shhh “ a man right next to Randgriz silenced her with his white glove .The concert ended leaving Liszt to step off the stage . He was quickly surrounded by fans causing Brunhilde to leave until she felt something hit her. Behind her was a red rose , she picked it up seeing the musician wave at her before being surrounded by more fans . “Come on Brunhilde let's go, I don't like parties “ Randgriz dragged her out towards the concert halls . “Oof I'm sorry “ she accidentally bumped into the same guy that sat next to him. He was a short guy with a big nose that spoke with a thick polish accident. “Sorry I'm looking for a man named Liszt “ he mentioned. “Down the hallway but you are going to have to wait in line “ Brunhilde pointed to the left before leaving . The man thanked her before walking in that direction, “He is very cute “ Randgriz thought. “Eh …okay let's go home “ she walked with Randgriz.
A few days later Brunhilde went back to the same concert alone this time to attend a mass . There she sat down reading the holy Bible while waiting for the preacher . “ Excuse me, is this seat taken? “ a familiar voice spoke to her . Brunhilde turned around, seeing the face once again. “Are you Franz Liszt ? “she asked while watching him sit down. “Yes “ Liszt confirmed sitting next to her “ Nice to meet you “ . “ Yeah I see ..” Brunhilde stuck her head back in the Bible. “Sorry if I was bothering you “ Liszt apologized getting ready to leave . “No you weren't, I just have a lot on my mind “ Brunhilde sighed. “Oh ..I hope the church can relax you ..lift those spirits up “ Liszt gave a warm smile. “Yeah” Brunhilde half smiled back , “So where are you from? I've never seen you around? “ he questioned. “Oh I'm from - “ Brunhilde tried to think of an answer. “Don't tell me your from heaven? “ Liszt answered "Wait how did you -”Brunhilde's face turned red from the blushing. “ “ Relax I was just kidding c Liszt chuckled . “Oh right …hahaha” Brunhilde joined the laughter

Hi everyone, I don't usually post on here but I saw someone raise an interesting point which didn't get answered on a separate thread. I'm bisexual, and I've been deconstructing for the last year to equate my Christian faith from being someone who was previously deeply closeted and homophobic, to wildly supportive as an ally before realising oh heck wait.. I might not be straight either. I'm in an extremely strict Christian social circle, (evangelical) and tho I'm not out publicly, I've been put through the paces to explain myself (eyeroll) at why I'm not studying the Bible and coming to the same conclusions my homophobic friends are essentially.
Ultimately let me share my views: I very strongly believe the Bible has been edited again and again, to agendas of misogyny for example, due to the cultures of the time. However I fail to see how God would send good, loving, consensual homosexual people to hell with the likes of Hitler (for example) for loving the "wrong" person. All love comes from God after all. I believe that ANY healthy relationship, God has placed us into.
I've got answers for 3 out of the 4 "clobber verses" that I know, (the mistranslation argument that there were no loving consensual homosexual relationships in biblical times and what the various people namely Paul was addressing and in Leviticus was the fact that it was common practice for a Roman man to assert dominance on his slaves by raping them, and then (Lev) hiring male prostitutes was a sin.
However - I've realised if anyone questions me on where lesbian and gay sexuality is condemned in Romans 1:26-28, I haven't got an answer to hand except for repeating the above.
Much might still apply but I'm wondering if anyone's ever looked into the translations of this etc. I know it's told in a story context of "this people were evil worshipped false gods etc, and so God "gave them over" to "unnatural and lustful desires " in "exchange for the natural (straight) ones".
However it also talks about their sinful (straight) desires in the paragraph above as well.
This Could have been Paul's take on this story and he was deathly homophobic as we all know. I'm just wondering if anyone has a biblical answer I can shut Evangelicals up with 😆

Note: All personally identifiable information has been substituted with alphabet. The only known geolocation is MSP airport where the incident happened and the protagonist, Delta, which was the airline in the incident.
I always chose Delta over other airlines but now I realized how foolish that is. I was at MSP with my partner A on a business trip. We purchased Main Cabin and self-selected seats when we made the purchase. When we arrived at the gate and just as we scanned our boarding pass, somehow the seats were reassigned. It was not totally unheard of, but I still asked the gate agent B and C why these seats were not together. This was where things got interesting. B said she didn’t know and wanted us to take these seats as is, and she proceeded to ask agent C for an explanation. C was rude. He angrily said the same thing “I don’t know” in the worst possible tone. That was when I got a little bit frustrated and said “what do you mean you don’t know?” I’m not a confrontational person at all, but somehow his attitude was so disrespectful and rude that this was not about seats anymore. He then said a bunch of things on the lines of “I never see people get so upset about not sitting together”, “just get over it” (probably not exact words since it was out of a very unpleasant memory at this moment). I sensed that things might not go well, and thus I pulled out my phone and started recording the interaction. Agent C immediately started to block my camera like a knee jerk reaction and yelled things equivalent to ‘don’t film me’, ‘’you can’t film because I’m a federal employee’… As far as I know, MN is a single-party consent state and we were in public space. People take pictures/selfies of airports/boarding screens/kiosks all the time. All of a sudden, we were forbidden to record, to describe it in an unbiased term, a controversial moment. (And we were right since we talked to two supervisors D and E. Both acknowledged that we could film. The employees were only told to disengage when filmed. We absolutely have the legal right to film. Period.) Back to when we pulled out the phone, he started to power trip and claimed that we were kicked off the plane and told Agent B to close the gate. And, he proceeded to call the police, although they never came. So, I still did not know if he called the police or not but at least the way he said it was very threatening. We were frustrated and raised our voices to a degree that is audible 10ft away but was not loud enough to turn heads. We were never yelling or verbally/physically violent. Agent C never had any grounds to treat us the way he did. Calling police on your frustrated customers? Wow. We then asked for his name and his supervisor D. D was very helpful and polite. She apologized for the incident but I still felt that why it’s always people who are NOT responsible for their action apologizing? During our conversation with Supervisor D, Agent C repeatedly asked us if we wanted to board and magically found two seats that were next to each other. I thought they said they had a full flight. And, of course we refused to board. When a customer is stripped off their dignity in public and threatened over and over again, you would still expect us to take those seats like dog treats? How condescending. According to C, we were, again, kicked off the plane after kicking us off the first time. I guess we were just that hard to get rid of. Agent C then pompously walked off the scene. Then we reached a temporary solution of rebooking the next flight with supervisor D, although we decided not to take the flight due to my partner A’s deteriorating health condition. We also talked to Supervisor E, who sympathized with our situation after she talked to the other supervisoemployees first.
I have been flying with Delta and MSP for almost 2 decades and this is the first time. I understand that sometimes people are just having a bad day, but this whole incident was something else. It was not just unkind. It was malicious and scary (we have never had someone calling / threatening to call police on us this whole life). He said “there were cameras you don’t need to film”… Would you hand over the footage to me as evidence in a court of law? Probably not.
It’s not a secret that airlines do shady businesses all the time like overselling their seats and doing stuff that is incomprehensible at times. Discussing these problems is far more complicated due to its economical and even political nature. But, when have we become so tolerant and docile over malpractices? When has bullying customers become the norm? Why are they so unreasonable when pointed out? I want my dignity back. Perhaps it is only compatible with first class. I guess I should have pressed that pink upgrade button.
Sorry for such negativity online where cat pictures coexist. But I learned today that I love Partner A even more.

***I posted this originally in but think this might be a better place for it
TLDR: I'm struggling to understand if my relationship issues are genuine concerns or my past influencing my perception. My boyfriend (29M) and I (25F) have been dating long-distance for 10 months. He initially talked a lot about our future, including plans to get a place together, but has since become non-committal and distant. Given my history with a narcissistic parent, I'm unsure if these are red flags or typical relationship hurdles. I'm worried he's "future faking" me. Any advice on discerning these issues would be appreciated. ___________________________
Sorry this is so long - It's clearly weighing heavy on my mind and I also have a habit of overexplaining myself due to my past. Believe it or not, this was my attempt to keep it short.
As someone raised by a single narcissistic parent, I (25F) have a lot of difficulty in figuring out if my perception is accurate or if I'm misinterpreting things. I've spent years working on this in therapy and have made progress in figuring out when I'm being treated poorly, specifically in platonic relationships, but have still a ways to go.
Recently, I've gotten into a relationship with my bf (29M) after having been single for 5 years. The person I've started dating proactively chased me during this time and I was clear that I wanted to be just friends due to concerns about long-distance, feeling overwhelmed with the interest they had in me without knowing me super well, and feeling like my boundaries weren't being respected. Over those 5 years, we developed a strong friendship/relationship and these issues resolved (except for the long-distance). I had a major life event happen in 2023 that had me questioning how much of my life I had lived in fear and avoidance. Simultaneously, this person was a huge support to me while I went through this difficult moment. I decided I was ready to pursue a romance with him and he agreed he wanted to too. So we started officially dating roughly 10 months ago.
In the beginning of our relationship, he would make tons of comments about our future together, talking about our kids, what life would be like when we're married, trips that we would take, etc. I was hesitant in the beginning to believe this, but slowly started to imagine this future too and would join in these conversations. I had never dated someone who so openly talked about a future with me and while it felt scary in the beginning, I started to feel like it was a beautiful thing and I was experiencing healthy love.
Back in January, he started to talking to me about getting a place in my city. Although we're long distance, he has to come to my city fairly often for business reasons and likes to extend his stays to spend time with me. I initially thought he just meant something for himself that he would stay in when he was in my city. This wasn't super surprising since he has an apartment in another city sitting completely empty and he was talking about getting a place in another city for when he'd visit before we started dating. To be clear, he has vast financial resources. Like hundreds of millions.
I was excited that he was going to get a place in my city, because I knew it would make him more comfortable when he'd visit and therefore make his visits more likely. However, he clarified to me a week later that he actually wanted to get a place for the both of us - where I would stay full time and he would stay when he was visiting. He was surprised that I thought this would just be his place. I thought about it and got excited at the idea (although I had some concerns about living alone for those periods he wasn't there - I've always had roommates and have loved it honestly).
Once I agreed, he said he wanted to start looking at places when he was visiting my city for a few weeks that February. I started to look at places online and have conversations with him about what we'd both want. February came, he didn't make any effort or mention of seeing places in person. My roommates started to ask me if I'd be renewing the lease with them or not and I told them I wasn't sure. I'd periodically bring it up to him and emphasize that we probably need to start looking and make serious progress on it. He would agree, but I wouldn't hear anything more about it. Finally, I told him I needed to give my roommates a final answer about it. He said that I should renew the lease with them so that we're not rushed into finding something and can find the perfect place. He said it was okay if the leases overlapped, assuring me that it wouldn't be a problem and he'd cover it financially. I was hesitant, but given his vast wealth, I figured this was just one of those rich people things where comfort is prioritized over wastefulness.
He has not brought it up since. Recently, I had felt some distance from him. He wasn't as communicative. He flaked on a vacation we were supposed to go on during my spring break at the last minute due to a conference he wanted to attend. He was vague about when he would be able to visit next, saying that I could visit him whenever even though he knew I was in school until May. He invited me to go to a friend's wedding in a far away state in late April, but said he figured I wouldn't be able to go because he knew I had finals. I decided to make it work by flying in for 48 hours despite having finals. While we were together in person, it didn't seem like anything was wrong at all. I decided to talk to him about some of these concerns and mentioned the apartment. He said that he wanted to find the perfect place for us and not stress about it. I told him that I get that, but we need to take action in order to find the perfect place. He said that there's no rush. I pointed out he said he wanted to start looking at places in February, so it seemed like he wanted to get a place fairly soon, but I was feeling confused because since those early talks, I've been the only one to talk to him about it. I told him that it felt like he didn't want to get a place with me anymore. He said that he does want to still but when he brought it up to me, he meant he wanted to get a place in the future and there's no timeline. In his head, it will happen eventually and I shouldn't be worried (????? WTF). Anyways, I decided to drop it and give him the benefit of the doubt.
He also early on told me how excited he was for when we go to his home country, how we'll go in the next year, how he needs to take me there. A week or two ago, an opportunity came up where he would be in a nearby country for business and I would be on a break from school. We talked about me going with him and then going to his home country after for a bit. Yesterday, I asked him about it and he started to express doubts, saying he's never taken a girl home before... Keep in mind: 1) I have already met his parents and brothers more than once. 2) This man has only dated one other person, and it was in high school. 3) This man has been talking about taking me there as soon as its convenient since we started dating.
I'm worried given my past with parental narcissistic abuse and having my perception constantly questioned/invalidated that I'm not able to identify red flags unless they're really severe or different from what I experienced growing up. Prior to this relationship, I always pursued men that were emotionally distant and whose love I had to earn because it felt safer (and mirrored my relationship with my absent parent). This is the first time I've dated someone who consistently showed interest in me. I thought this was healthier and that I was recalibrating my dating patterns, but now I'm starting to have doubts. I'm feeling like I can't trust his word anymore. I'm starting to wonder if he's been future faking me.
What do you guys think? Any tips on what I should be looking out for in the future? Or how you can know with certainty that there might be love bombing/future faking before things get worse? I don't want to find myself in a position years down the line in an abusive or toxic relationship and realize that there were signs I missed/ignored earlier on. I also don't want to ruin a happy and healthy relationship because I'm making mountains out of mole hills.

I went on this website where you can chat and I thought to myself "you know what I'll try to be a good decent person today" and I'll try my best to offer some help if somebody ever needs it.
So I decided to be kinder which I usually try to not take the internet seriously and FOR A GOOD REASON...
Because then I met this one person who at first had the best intentions. I don't know what the hell happened but just out of nowhere he started acting quite odd. Very erratic behavior. Just out of nowhere because I remember he seemed nice at first and had good intentions. I basically said that if he ever needs someone to talk to then I'm here for him and then he basically said "yea I need someone in my life to talk to" so then I told him that I could be that person
But then a few hours ago he then proceeded to tell me how "cringy" my kindness is and he started to make fun of everything I've told him. This is why at first I didn't want to go into any details because a lot of people on the internet cannot be trusted unfortunately.
You try to be a good human and you still get bitten by venomous snakes🙄
It's terrifying how awful certain people are on the internet. He lied about so many things and now I feel like so dumb for actually caring about him at the time.
He kept asking me really deeply personal questions out of nowhere. Just really personal stuff. It was like he was interrogating me and would just go deeper and deeper and deeper...
I just wasn't interested in that. I wanted to just have a decent normal conversation. But I guess this is what you get on the internet for being kind these days. THIS is the main reason I don't usually take anyone seriously. I don't care what your story is, because some people might twist things and they might make something up just so that you can pity them and then those exact people somehow just turns against you out of nowhere.
I wish I could just say that I was in the wrong or that I had done or said something wrong but I was literally just being a nice genuine human. I have evidence. The entire conversation!!!! I don't know why he was acting that way just all of a sudden. Also he admitted to having issues and he kept saying sorry for being such an asshole towards me. But then he just kept saying it in a laughing sense. So nothing he was saying really felt genuine so I don't know anymore if I should care about people on the internet anymore.
Because it seems to me that most people on the internet I meet are mentally messed up. They all have really deep psychological issues. It's scary how most people on the internet are that way. One minute they seem nice and then the next they're turning on you For no apparent reason at all.

Hey everyone,
I'm gonna just spill everything that's going on, and rant and I'd appreciate it if I could hear it from insight or advice from some people!! Thank you! I'm a guy (18) btw and my ex is a girl (18)
So me and my ex broke up about a month and a half ago. She brought it up with me about mid march out of the blue and said that her mental health was real bad and she didn't want it affecting our relationship, which is fair, I told her let's give it a month, let's try and work everything out, told her to maybe try therapy and let's try communicating and work it out because I loved her so much. After that it was thin ice for the rest of march, I tried so hard and she was just being distant. I stayed over the Easter weekend and she told me that she just doesn't see it working and wants the break up, I was like ok that's fine if that's what you need to do. While she was out of her house at work that weekend I was chilling at hers waiting for my own shift to start, I got curious and remembered she'd had a diary. The diary was a set boundary and I knew never to open it or read it, but in my mind at the time I thought what if there was something in there that could maybe help or understand her state of mind better yah know? When I did read the most recent entry I wish I didn't, she wrote some things that I won't disclose but she wrote that she had developed a crush on a guy in her uni class and that she was questioning "what if" Because they had similar interests and she believed that was something that we lacked (which honestly we didn't really, our childhoods are very similar, our humour is similar, the only things we didn't really have in common was a slight difference in music taste and TV shows etc but that never really bothered me) anyway at the end of the entry and she said "I won't act on it though". That whole weekend she was secretive about her phone, which she never was and "went to the toilet alot" we also went to have a shower after work and she left her phone open on the bathroom counter I picked it up and she freaked out, grabbing it and turning it off, when I questioned the reaction she said she had embarrassing photos she'd taken recently of herself and didn't want me to see them. Righttttt..... she left the room for a minute and left her phone and I ended up opening the conversation between her and this guy on her intsa and only saw the most recent message where he asked how everything was going, she replied with "it seems OK, everything seems mutual but I think everything's gonna be ok" something along the lines of that. I ended up telling her that I read her diary because I couldn't keep that to myself, she left the room hurt for about 10 minutes and when she came back I told her I also read her messages with the guy her face dropped like she had to explain something, but when I told her that I only saw the most recent one she seemed relieved. She ended up ignoring me for the rest of the night and going to sleep, I tried going on her phone after she feel asleep but she took my fingerprint and face id off, I didn't know her password unfortunately. The next day I stayed until I had work later in the afternoon but never mention anything because I didn't really think of it. For the first few days of the breakup we were still talking but then she randomly switched on me because I wasn't giving her space, giving me the cold shoulder etc. I ended up adding the dude on insta and messaging him, I found out through him that she was confiding in him and she was telling him our relationship problems, things she's never told me. I asked him to relay a message to her for me at uni and he did, she wasn't happy, she ended up massaging me and sending me a long paragraph where she doesn't really wanna interact with me anymore etc. I begged her to give me a 2nd chance just the usual shit you do and she was unresponsive and didn't seem to care at all, after our conversation she posted a new post on insta and the first picture was her and this dude next to eachother at a party, not sitting next to eachother but close enough. I've talked with some female friends and they've told me she's was emotionally cheating on me and yeah she was, whether she sees it like that or not. I never knew anything about this guy and their relationship tbh, I knew of his existence and that he recently went through a bad break up but other then that, nothing. I thought maybe she didn't tell me because of my insecurities etc and I also thought that she talked him for advice because he knew what she was going through but now that I look back I'm not to sure.
I was at a mates place 2 weeks ago and he told me that he thinks he saw her on tinder, he wasn't sure tho, we ended up making a new account on his phone and sure enough she was. Why was she on tinder if she's getting this attention from another guy? She also posted songs on her insta note which were clearly aimed at me, she also posted a song which was clearly aimed at me to make me jealous, the song is basically about a man and a women and how good they'd be together. Since then she's acted like I don't exist, but something that really got to me is that I saw one of her highschool friends where I work and she was telling me that they were at a catch up that my ex was present at and didn't speak bad about me, she told her friends that she broke up but when they all started a conversation about how hard uni was she mentioned and seemed quite chirpy at the fact that I recently got into uni. (I applied for uni after the break up and posted it on my socials when I got in) why act happy for me that I got into uni after being a cold bitch after the break up?
We ended up talking again recently because I needed a favour from her and she told me that when we broke up it was because her mental health wasn't good for us, but then she said that she didn't like the way she was treated during and after the relationship, she said that I destroyed her self worth because I made comments and my temper was bad. All of these things were at the start of the relationship and when I noticed it was hurting her I took a step back and stopped these actions, I apologised, worked on it and changed. It's like she was nit picking things and people have told me it's because she feels guilty but also because she's avoiding accountability.
She recently had a family member pass away and I messaged her my condolences after about 2 - 3 weeks of no contact and she said thank you, but after that I'm done. I hate the way I was treated and she's made me feel like shit and made me feel like some kind of monster with the things she said. With all of this do you think she'll come around and realise that she was not nice to me at all? I've also had a friend tell me that she'll realise that the grass wasn't greener and try to come back to me but to not let myself be an option. She said when she's ready she might reach out and we can catch up for coffee and be friends but if she doesn't start the conversation with an apology I know she hasn't done anything to reflect or change. But essentially will she come around and realise she wasn't nice at all and apologise or is this whole ordeal a sinking ship? I've been taking therapy and I'm in a better position then I was a month ago and I still get thoughts about her and miss her but I'm getting over it with the way she treated me.
Thanks for listening to my Ted talk and thanks for reading this big ass rant. Oh we were together for a year and 3 months if that helps with anything either. Thanks. Also Jan and February were fine and then in march she became distant. Thanks again.

“I attended middle school with her, although we did not attend high school together (she instead attended a high school that was supposed to help students gain college credits. She earned two liberal arts degrees while there in Social and Behavioral Sciences and Natural Sciences. She now attends an HCBU, and has on her LinkedIn profile that she is presently working toward graduating from her college with a degree in Health Sciences, Pre Med, and a minor in Military Science. She is apart of her school’s Army ROTC.)
I remember that a lot of people in middle school did not like her (although that was also the case for me,) and I understood why. She seemed noticeably introverted, yet also didn’t seem like the kind of person, at least from my perspective, who would try to appease you in the way I imagine a lot of people feel the stereotypical woman might. She had a strong glare (I remember mentioning this to my then best friend’s mom, who agreed with the suggestion) and stood out to me as being weird (it wasn’t necessarily anything she said or did - not her personality, exactly - it’s just the strong glare I mentioned, like she didn’t tend to look sincerely happy nor would she pretend to be unless she was around friends of hers. I remember that she didn’t tend to look happy, in my opinion. It’s possible that she was depressed, or she may have just tended to look irritable, I don’t know. She didn’t strike me as being the kind of person who would make an effort to be polite, struck me as being tomboyish and unladylike, the kind of person who wouldn’t try to change the way she was for you - I wasn’t used to it. Seemed competitive, too. I had truly never interacted with a girl who was like that before. She also struck me as being smart, although she was in the normal math class whereas I was in the advanced one (I was known for being smarter, but thought it should have been her. However, I did notice after looking at her LinkedIn profile that there were more grammatical errors than I expected.)
I remember that she and her friend (who I later on ended up being on good terms with) decided early on that they disliked me, although I hadn’t done anything to them, which bothered me. They also once used me for food in sixth grade, which had also bothered/upset me.
I remember that my former best friend had issues with her ranging back to elementary school, and that in sixth grade in particular they were competing for the attention of an ISFP they’d both been friends with since elementary school. This girl is the one who won the ISFP’s attention/was officially her best friend by the time they were in seventh grade. However, around seventh or eighth grade (it’s been so long that I no longer quite remember,) she “ditched” (in the words of my former best friend) the ISFP and the other friend I’d mentioned in favor of a new crowd. I actually remember my former best friend suggested that the people in her new crowd didn’t like her, either (although she hung out with them throughout eighth grade, and briefly went to high school in person with one of them as a junior whilst presumably taking courses at the other high school online, so I assume that she never knew this/didn’t read them well enough to know or understand this.) I notice that she unfollowed the ISFP at some point as a senior, though the ISFP never unfollowed her (she strikes me as being the kind of person who likely took note of the fact that the ISFP’s life doesn’t seem to be heading in a good direction - the ISFP was abused a few years ago, and has had substance use issues since, in addition to having had to repeat a year of high school. She also unfollowed my former best friend, and my former best friend recently unfollowed her back.)
She figured out that I was the one who owned the middle school gossip account (although most of our peers already suspected, and technically, this girl couldn’t prove it either.) She figured this out because she remembered that I was standing nearby when she told my former best friend who she had a crush on (I was being mean and told our peers who she was crushing on.) However, she never directly confronted me about the matter, even though she told my former best friend that she suspected it to be me. She later on changed her mind when I was kind to her friend who lost the role for graduation speaker to me toward the end of eighth grade (but she was right the first time.)
I noticed around junior year that she has actually turned out to be quite nice looking, even though I had once meanly suggested that she was fat in middle school (she was a tad bit chubby, though as an adult I’m inclined to suggest that this was likely simply baby fat/that with us being so young there wasn’t really anything wrong with this.) She does seem to wear makeup, but also has nice style (she is light skinned, and has a looser hair texture, which are likely factors in me thinking she’s attractive, if I’m being honest - she’s mixed race, with a black mother and white father.) I can’t possibly know, but she gives off the impression to me of being someone who knows that she’s attractive (just something about her energy/facial expressions in photos. She has her Instagram account public now.)”
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My bf and I have been dating for 1.5 years. Things are great between us and he is on his way to figuring out things. I come from a small but close knit family. They drive me crazy but there is also a lot of love. I’m definitely spoiled and stubborn at times. I’m a very social and extroverted person, which means my bf is definitely not. He is introverted and really kind and soft spoken. My family and I are loud, sassy and spend a lot of time together. My bf’s current work and life situation has been hard as he is trying to move to a new field so he is starting from scratch. He feeds of his confidence and that has been low lately. My family doesn’t dislike him but when I started to introduce him to them slowly some of them were very welcoming and others were a little cold. Partially because of issues with me they would avoid him when I brought him around and after months we all were finally in a place so he didn’t come over for a big dinner party. That was about 5 months ago. However because of his job situation he feels like he is not good enough for me so he is avoiding meeting my family or my friends. And I’m trying to invite him to casual things with my family but he says no and tells me to enjoy myself. He jokes about it but it’s getting on my nerves that he is dismissing anything I invite him to because of his “situation”.
Right now I also have a dinner coming up with friends and he doesn’t want to come because of his financial situation and the lack of confidence. This dinner is important as it’s not just him but my friends and their spouses/partners meeting for the first time. I think he is being absolutely selfish and making it harder to meet people that he knew he was going to meet at some point. For some context his family is not in the country but we’ve met over FaceTime and video calls. I’d meet them in a heartbeat if they were here. It’s becoming a tit for tat thing and regardless of if it’s friends or family there should be no tally of “I came to this so now I don’t have to come for the next one”. I know that’s not healthy for any future
My downfall is getting emotional and he is taking it as an ultimatum that if he doesn’t meet or get along with my friends and family that’ll be it. I feel like I have a life with him that’s sweet and wonderful and there is a life with friends and family. I can’t and don’t know how to mesh it all. Do I have u realistic expectations?? This should not be this hard for either of us because I see how family oriented he is too. I don’t want my future split between these two lives…. It’s tiring and exhausting to manage. I know introducing him to my family could’ve been better but it seems like it’s on the wrong foot. He did try his best but I’m not excusing their “cold shoulder” either. But families are complicated and I don’t want him impose my family on him but also make it clear that they are equally important to me as him.

I accidentally posted this to my username instead of my subreddit so here is is:
The Mortgage, Part 3
“Fuck,” I said as I drove to work in the old beater that only started on the fourth try because it could tell that I was pissed off. Ray’s case started at two o’clock, and I was heading to the office to get ready. “Fuck fuck fuckity fucking fuck. Fuck.” I’d wanted to tell Angela about Ray’s case, and how I was sorry that I hadn’t wanted to help him, but now I would, I would help him, and I would win, but then I’d gotten her all riled up on something else, something totally different, something way more serious.
My wife had given me a triple ultimatum: fix things up with her father, save idiot Ray from Sy-Co Corp., and somehow find a downpayment for the place she wanted to buy, in the little townhouse infill project in Bixity. It was like demanding I do a double bank shot, and then run over to the baseball diamond and hit a home run after first pointing to where it would land, Babe Ruth style.
Angela was mad at me, seriously mad. She’d slipped out that morning before I was even awake, sliding quietly past me on the couch. I didn’t realize she was gone until I heard the faint click of the front door closing. I jumped up, tripped over a blanket, and by the time I got up and my robe on, the elevator down the hall dinged, and Angela was gone before I opened the apartment door.
I swore at myself some more and pounded the steering wheel, “I fucked up,” I said, several times as I hit the wheel over and over again, until I accidentally honked it, and then looked all sheepish when the guy in front of me gave me the finger. I reached my office without further incident, but instead of walking in the front door, I went further down the hall, and into the office of Mark Cecil-Rowe, Barrister, LL.D, the man with the finest speaking voice I ever heard. When I entered his office I forgot for a minute about Angela and her father and sleeping on the couch the night before. I forget about everything, except the reason that I had come to Cecil-Rowe’s office: to stump him with a legal problem that I had solved, but which I was pretty sure he could not. In other words, I had come to preen and to brag and to boast. No one likes a showoff, and I had come to show off. I put my hand on the door and turned the knob. After a brief pause, I flung open the door.
“I’m a goddamn genius,” I said as I strolled into the older man’s office.
I noticed the echo of a hastily closed desk drawer hanging in the air. In Aaron’s office, where I rented space, a sudden act of concealment implied cocaine, but with Cecil-Rowe, the item in question was probably a mickey of vodka. I had the sense that he’d been drinking a bit before I arrived, but his powers of observation were unimpaired, and when he looked into my face, his expression showed sympathy, and actual pain.
“What have you done now?” he said, as set the papers before him to one side, and readied himself to hear my latest tale of legal brilliance.
“I’m a genius,” I said.
“Oh dear. Have a seat.”
“No really, I am. I’m a genius. I got this case that everyone says you can’t win, but I’m gonna win it, and when I do, I’m gonna look like a genius.” Cecil-Rowe gave me a sad indulgent smile.
“Whenever you tell me you’re a genius, I am always concerned about what is to follow. When you get wrapped up in what you call your genius, you tend to ignore the more mundane things we lawyers have to do to win a case. You think you’re going to win by genius alone.”
“Let me tell you why I’m a goddamn genius.” With effort I wiped the smug, self-satisfied expression that was on my face.
“Tell me why you’re a genius,” Cecil-Rowe said, “while I pour us a coffee.” He heaved his bulky body up from his chair and shuffled over to a counter. He picked up a carafe of hot coffee sitting on a hot plate, and poured two cups. “Speak,” he said, handing me one. I took a sip of the coffee, and told Cecil-Rowe the tale of Cousin Ray: his purchase of a franchise from Sy-Co Corp, its swift demise, the crash and burn in Commercial Court, the Minutes of Settlement, the seventy-one kilometer limit, and lastly, Sy-Co’s motion scheduled for two p.m. that very day, seeking an interim injunction shutting down Ray’s place.
Cecil-Rowe absorbed all this without the need to take notes. Instead, he sat back while he eyed me, taking the occasional sip of coffee, and smiling at the extravagant flourishes and details that brought out Ray’s story to full effect.
“Obviously Ray is dead on arrival,” he said, “but I guess this is the part where you tell me how you’re going to win.”
So I told him how I was going to win, but it didn’t have the desired effect. “I told ya I’m a genius, Mr. C,” cueing him to applaud, to admit what a brilliant lawyer I was. But there was no applause from Mark Cecil-Rowe. He looked at me without so much as a smile.
“You can cling to that genius notion as a consolation prize, after you get whipped this afternoon in court.”
“No way,” I said, “not a chance. I got this thing won hands down. I’m gonna kick ass in court today and--”
“And how exactly do you plan to do that, if you don’t have evidence?”
“What?”
“Evidence, Calledinthe9os. It’s what lawyers like me use to beat geniuses like you.”
“But I’m gonna win without proof. I don’t need proof. The argument I’m gonna make, relies on simple facts that are totally obvious, so the judge is gonna--” Cecil-Rowe stuck up his hand.
“Stop right there. I know what’s coming. You’re going to ask the judge to take *judicial notice.”
And he was right. That was exactly what I was going to do.
There are some things so obvious that you didn’t have to prove them, things that everyone knew. You didn’t have to prove that water froze at zero degrees and boiled at a hundred, or that Bixity was between West Bay and East Bay.
“You got it,” I said, “judicial notice all the way.”
“You’re going to tell the judge that the centerpiece of your argument, the lynchpin of your case is a fact known to pretty well everyone, and so you don’t need proof.”
“Exactly,” I said. Cecil-Rowe took another sip of his coffee, and left me hanging in the silence for a while before he spoke.
“If that’s true, then why does coming up with that argument make you a genius?”
“Oh, I said,”I didn’t think of that.”
“It is acceptable to rely on judicial notice for minor, ancillary points. But you never should walk into court thinking that the court will take judicial notice of your entire defence. It’s just too risky.”
“But how am I going to rustle up a witness in time for this afternoon?”
“Worry about that after you leave my office. I can’t help you with that. What I want to know, is why you’re doing this at the last minute.”
“What makes you think I’m doing this at the last minute?”
“Because you never would have resorted to judicial notice if you were properly prepared. If you’d opened this case a bit earlier, you’ve have everything lined up. But you got to work on it late, and so you want to rely on judicial notice. You’ve messed up, Calledinthe90s, and you know what my rule is when you mess up.” Cecil-Rowe didn’t extend aid to me, until I admitted the error of my ways. It was infuriating, but he was inflexible. So I fessed up.
“My idiot cousin Ray’s been trying to retain me for almost two weeks, but I was putting him off because I was mad at him. So now my wife’s mad at me, and if I don’t win this case, I’m dead. Plus her dad’s mad at me too and --” My brain roared into overdrive, a mess of family and law and fear, and at the centre of it, thoughts of Angela’s anger and her father. My mind took off, and then came to an instant halt at a helpful destination.
“Yes?” Cecil-Rowe said.
“Sorry. I just realized how to solve the evidence problem. Look, can I ask you about the thing I actually came here to ask you about?”
“You have a problem that’s worse than having no evidence? What could be worse than -- oh. You don’t have a retainer. Your client doesn't have any money.”
“Exactly. How do I get paid? That’s the problem.” I explained that Ray had no money, as in none, and that if he did have money, he wouldn’t spend it on me. Instead, he’d go back downtown and throw his cash at some big firm, who would take on his case, and proceed to lose it in a calm, careful, sober manner, ending in a reporting letter to Ray telling him that he’d lost.
“Now that’s a problem I can solve,” Cecil-Rowe said.
“Really? ‘Cause I can’t see a way around it. I think I’m gonna have to do this for free, and that really pisses me off.” Cecil-Rowe shook his head.
“You may or may not get paid, but you can set things up so that if you win, you’ll win pretty good.”
“How? Ray’s a deadbeat. Tapped out.”
“But is he desperate?”
“Totally. The first time he failed, he lost his own money, but if he goes under this time, he’s taking family money with him, and he’ll be the black sheep forever.”
“And he’s using family to emotionally blackmail you into helping him?’
“Like no shit. That’s the part that pisses me off the most. I’m like a goddamn slave, being forced to work for free.”
“Never fear, young apprentice. I have just the thing in mind.” He reached into a drawer, and pulled out a form. “Fill in the blanks, and have him sign.”
I looked it over, and saw that the document was a retainer agreement. I whistled. “Holy shit. If he signs this, he’s almost my slave.”
“Close, but not quite” Cecil-Rowe said, “the Latin term for this is "contractus pro venditione animae"”. It’s the ultimate retainer agreement. Once Ray signs that, you own any cause of action he has against the person suing him. You can settle the case on any terms you like, and you get to keep whatever proceeds there are.” Cecil-Rowe placed the folder back in a drawer, and from his manner you could tell that the interview was over.
“Awesome, Mr. C. I’ll call you from Commercial Court when we’re done.”
“Commercial Court?” he said.
“Yeah, Commercial Court.”
“This just keeps getting worse. Take notes, Calledinthe90s, while I school you on Commercial Court. Commercial Court is a jungle, and without preparation, you’ll get savaged.”
“That’s what happened to Ray when--”
“Take notes, young apprentice,” he said, tossing me a pad and a pen. He started to lecture, and I took notes that I have with me to this day, in a safe deposit box downstairs in the vault at Mega Bank Main Branch.
* * *
By the time Cecil-Rowe finished schooling me, it was close to ten, and the case started at two. I didn’t have much time. I ran down the hall to my office, and called Ray’s restaurant. No answer. Then I called Ray’s house. I expected to get Ray’s wife, but the man himself answered.
“You’re not at work. Why aren’t you at work?”
“Sy-Co Corp served all my employees with a cease and desist letter. They all got scared and took off. The place is shut down.”
“You gotta fax machine at home?” He did, and asked why.
“I’m taking your case, but only if you sign the paper I’m about to send and fax it back.” I sent the fax, and five minutes later it came back signed, and it was official: Ray had sold me his legal soul.
I went out to the parking lot, got into my beater and drove fast. In less than thirty minutes I reached my destination. I knocked on the door, and when it opened, my diminutive mother-in-law poked out her head. “What a pleasant surprise,” she said.
“Sorry, Mrs. M, but I’m in a super hurry. I gotta rush to get to court to help Ray. But first, I gotta speak to Dr. M.”
“He’s not here,” she said.
“Not here?”
“He’s on his way to his bridge game. He left just a few minutes ago.”
“Where’s the club?”
“He’s walking there,” she said, and pointed down the street.
“Thanks.” I got into my car and headed where Mrs. M had pointed, passing big houses and new project with an “Opening Soon” sign. And walking past it was the figure of Dr. M.
“Hey, Dr. M,” I called out the window. He stopped and looked around, startled. But he didn’t see me, not at first.
“It’s me, Dr. M. Me, Calledin90s.” He leaned forward as if to see me better. I got out of the car.
“Is something wrong with Angela? Or the baby?”
“No, no not at all, sorry to scare you, it’s nothing like that. I need your help.”
“Oh.” He started walking again, and now it was my turn to be a bit stunned, watching my father-in-law walk away from me. I caught up with him in a few quick strides.
“Listen, I really need your help.”
“And I really need to get to a bridge game.”
“This isn’t about me. It’s about Ray.” That brought him to a halt. He turned to me, angrier even than he’d been the night before.
“Did you drive all the way out here just to make fun of me? To remind me of how you won, distracting me with nonsense about Ray’s case?”
“I mean it,” I said, “I can win Ray’s case. I can prove it in a few words.”
“Prove it, then.” So I did. I spoke words, only a few words, but they were the right words to speak to Dr. M, for the words I spoke were in his language, words that he understood perfectly.
“I understand,” he said, “you’ve come to boast some more, to prove that you were right after all.”
“I want to win Ray’s case, but I don’t have any proof of what I’m saying.”
“You don’t need to prove that two plus two is four.”
“This, I gotta prove, and I need you to help me prove it. I need you to come to court with me, as my witness.”
“I can’t do that. I didn’t witness anything.”
“As my witness. My expert witness.” Unlike a normal witness, an expert witness can give an opinion. An expert is there not to advocate, I explained to Dr. M but to instruct, to teach.
“My bridge partner won’t be very happy,” he said.
“But Ray will, and so will Mrs. M and Angela and--”
“Very well. Do you have a cell phone? We can call the bridge club from my car.”
* * *
We were on the highway getting close to the downtown exit, when my wife called my cell phone. Back then cell phone service was super expensive and my wife only used it for emergencies. Or when she was really angry. I picked up the phone, wondering which it would be.
“I’m so happy that you made things up with my father,” she said.
“How did you know?”
“My mother called. She says you took him with you, that you went out together.”
“He’s with me right now,” I said.
“Where are you going?”
“To court. Going to court to win Ray’s case for him.”
“And you brought my father with you to watch?” She was so happy, I could hear in her voice that she was smiling. “That’s a great way to bond with him, Calledinthe90s. Look, I’m sorry I got so mad at you earlier, I really am. My dad’s a bit too sensitive and--”
“Sorry, Angela, your dad’s not coming to watch me.”
“Why is he with you, then?”
“He’s my witness,” I said.
“What?”
“His expert witness,” Dr. M said, loudly enough for Angela to hear.
My wife’s anger exploded into the phone. She wanted to know how I could expose her elderly, vulnerable father to the stress of a court case. I tried to tell her how I needed him, how there was literally no one else I could turn to, that her father was an expert, a true expert, and the judge was legally bound to believe him, but Angela heard none of this.
“Look,’ I said, “I promise you that--” And then I lowered the phone and pushed the red button, terminating the call. I’d learned that the best way to hang up on someone, was to do it when I was doing the talking. That way it looked like the call had dropped.
“I’m going to steal that move,” Dr. M said.
We rolled into the parking lot. I grabbed the cloth bag out of the back of my car, the bag that held my law robes and shirt and tabs, plus the other stuff I needed for court. It was one-thirty, still thirty minutes to go, not a lot of time to get robed and ready for court. It was just past one-forty five when I, with Dr. M in tow, opened the door to a courtroom on the eighth floor of an old insurance building that had been converted into a courthouse, the home of Commercial Court.
“Commercial Court is an exclusive club,” Cecil-Rowe had explained to me earlier that day, “the legal playground of the rich and powerful. They’ll know instantly that you’re not one of them.” And he was right. It was clear from the moment I walked in that I did not belong, for I was the only lawyer in robes. Everyone else was wearing a suit, and not some cheap thing off the rack like I wore.
There were a half-dozen lawyers present, and after they saw me, they exchanged knowing looks about the stranger amongst them. I ignored them, and walked up to the Registrar. I told him the case I was on, and he signed me in.
“First time in Commercial Court?” he said, eyeing my robes. “You know you don’t have to be robed in Commercial Court.” In other Superior Courts, you always had to bring your robes and get all dressed up. But Commercial Court had its own set of rules, and in the court for rich people, their lawyers did not have to wear robes.
“You’re here on the Sy-Co case?” a young woman asked. She was a junior like me, give a year or two either way. She was dressed in the finest downtown counsel fashion, some designer thing that Angela would know if she saw it.
“Just got retained,” I said.
“You know there’s no adjournments, right? We don’t do adjournments in Commercial Court. I’m just trying to be helpful, because I don’t think you've been here before. You know you don’t have to be robed, right?
“So I heard.”
“So where’s your material? You haven’t served anything, so how do you plan to argue your case?”
“I gotta witness,” I said.
She smiled. “There’s no viva voce evidence, either. Affidavit only.”
“We’ll see what the judge says.” There was a knock from the other side of the door to the judge’s chambers, and then the man himself entered.
I was amazed to see that even the judge wasn’t wearing a robe; instead, he was wearing a light coloured suit and a bright blue bow tie. He was dressed as good as the lawyers, all part of the downtown Commercial Court club, the playground of the richest and most powerful corporations in the City.
“Commercial Court’s not like other courts,” Cecil-Rowe told me earlier that day, explaining that most cases were over in fifteen minutes or less. A plaintiff showed up with some papers, and had a short consultation with the judge. The judge signed an order granting an injunction, or taking away a man’s business, or freezing his money. Commercial Court is where you went to get quick and simple court orders that eviscerated your opponent before the case even got going.
Defendants would appear sometimes in Commercial Court, Cecil-Rowe explained, but it was usually their last time up. Defendants always died a quick death in Commercial Court.
The judge took his seat, and then looked over the lawyers before him. His eyes moved along, and then stopped when they reached me, the one lawyer who was not like the others.
“You don’t need robes in Commercial Court,” the judge said to me.
“I’ll remember that for next time,” I said.
“What case are you on?”
I told him.
“He’s filed no responding materials,” my opponent said, “nothing at all.”
“I’m just vetting the list,” the judge said, “I’ll circle back to you two in a few minutes.” I listend while the judge vetted the rest of the afternoon list: a Mareva, plus a Norwich order, with counsel on those cases sent away in a matter of minutes.
Now the courtroom was almost empty, just the judge, two lawyers, the registrar and my star witness and father-in-law, Dr. M, who sat in the back of the courtroom dressed in an old business suit, put on hastily at his place two hours earlier, when I urged him to hurry it up, to not waste so much time on picking a suit.
“Back to you,” the judge said, addressing my opponent, “I thought this was an uncontested matter. That’s what your confirmation sheet said.”
“I’m sorry, Your Honour, but I didn’t know until I got here that the case was defended.”
“I got retained at the last minute,” I said, “barely three hours ago, the day after I read the papers. But I’m ready to go, ready to argue the case on the merits, so long as you grant me an indulgence, and let me call my witness, to let him testify in person instead of by affidavit, there being no time for me to draft anything.”
Opposing counsel was on her feet. “That’s not how things are done in Commercial Court,” she said, “or any court that I know of, for that matter. My friend (that’s what they make lawyers call each other in court, ‘my friend,’ even though you might hate the other guy’s guts),” the lawyer said, “my friend should have served his responding materials and filed them with the court. Instead, he’s taken us totally by surprise.”
“I’m sorry my friend is surprised by opposition,” I said, “but then consider, it’s my client’s livelihood that’s at stake. If my friend gets her injunction, Ray Telewu’s business is dead, and he loses everything. So yes, my client opposes the injunction, and yes, I’d like to call evidence.”
The judge didn’t consult the papers before him nor the books, but instead, he looked up at the big white clock on the courtroom wall. Its hands said two-fifteen.
“How long will your witness take, counsel?”
“In chief, ten minutes.” I’d practiced with Dr. M on the way in, and I was pretty sure he could do it in five, but I gave him a bit of extra time, just in case.
“We’ve got about two hours,” the judge said, “but I want to be fair to you and your client. Let’s take a fifteen minute recess so you can get instructions. Either we go ahead today with viva voce evidence, or we adjourn, and that will give Calledinthe90s time to file responding materials.”
When everyone came back, the junior’s boss was there, Senior Counsel, a heavy weight, one of those big guys downtown. Plus they brought this guy from Sy-Co Corp, the head of some bullshit division, with some bullshit title, Head of whatever, so that’s the title I’ll give him here. He was The Head. He was the man, the big cheese, the signer of the affidavit on which Sy-Co relied that day.
“What’s he doing here?” I asked Senior Counsel.
He stared at me, all lean and steel grey, looking every inch the hard hitting lawyer that commanded the biggest fees. “If you’re calling a live witness, then so can we. The Head will give evidence today, in advance of your client, so that the judge hears it from him first.” His junior smirked at me, and the two of them sat down, delighted that they’d thought of a way to one up me.
Except that they’d done it by exposing their client to cross-examination. The judge came in, allowed the Head to testify, and when he was done, I stood up.
“Just a few questions,” I said. Senior Counsel was stunned for an instant, and then he stood.
“This serves no purpose, Your Honour. The witness has confirmed the simple facts of his affidavit, and there’s no disputing it. Ray Telewu opened a restaurant less than seventy-one kilometres from Bixity City Hall, and that’s in breach of the Minutes of Settlement he signed.”
I did not bother to respond. Instead, I just stood, and I started to ask questions.
“Have a look at that map in your affidavit,” I said, and he did. I picked up my copy, and tore the map out of it. I passed it up to him.
“What do you notice about this map?”
“That it’s accurate,” the Head said, repeating his evidence in chief, amplifying it, talking about how the map contained perfect measurement.
“You will notice that the map is flat,” I said, laying it on the witness box before him.
“Of course it’s flat. That’s what maps are. Maps are flat.”
“But the earth is round,” I said, “or more properly, a sphere.” Senior Counsel was on his feet in an instant.
“What difference does that make?” he said.
“What you’ll hear from my expert witness, is that a flat map cannot accurately show Earth’s curves. A flat map distorts distances, and in this case, reduces them.”
“But that can’t be by very much.”
“In this case, by just over twenty meters,” Dr. M said from the back of the court.
“That’s my expert witness, the esteemed Dr. M.” I didn’t actually say Dr. M. Instead, I said his real name. But I’m not going to use the real names of my family here, so I’ll just keep calling him Dr. M. “Dr. M was a professor of Physics at the University of Bixity for almost thirty years. He has published numerous papers on particle physics, and is the first Canadian winner of the Wolf Prize for physics.”

• * * *

It went downhill after that for Sy-Co Corp. My father-in-law testified, explaining in simple language, language that even a child could understand, that the Earth was a sphere, that the shortest distance between two points on Earth was a curve, not a straight line. He summarized his calculations in plain English, dumbing down the math, so that everyone present imagined, if only for the moment, that they shared his understanding of a difficult mathematical equation.
Senior Counsel tried to cross-examine Dr. M, but it did not go well, my father-in-law indulging him, gently chiding him, continuing his explanations until the lawyer sat down, defeated by Dr. M’s mastery of the subject,his own lack of preparation and his inability to improvise. When counsel said that he had no further questions, the judge addressed us all.
“I’m not going to reserve, and I don’t think I need to tell everyone why. I think it will take about a minute for me to write a decision saying that the Earth is not flat. I’ll give you some more time after that, but after fifteen minutes, I”ll be back to render my decision.” He rose, everyone bowed, and he disappeared behind the door to judge’s chambers.
I pulled a piece of paper out of my file, and slammed it on the desk before Senior Counsel and his junior. “Fill in the blanks, and sign,” I said.
Dr. M’s head shot up at the commotion, and he shuffled over to see what was going on.
“What’s this?” Senior Counsel said, picking up the paper I gave him..
“Minutes of Settlement. You fill in a number, a big number, for the costs you gotta pay me. Your client signs, and then we’re done.” Senior Counsel opened his mouth to bargain, but I overrode him.
“You know your client’s going to lose; the judge made that obvious. Hurry up if you want to settle; we don’t have much time.”
At the end of most Canadian court cases, the loser has to pay at least part of the winner’s legal fees. That’s the way it’s been since forever, and I think it’s a good rule. Sy-Co Corp had lost, so it had to pay a good chunk of Ray’s costs, and Ray’s costs were somewhere between whatever bullshit figure I claimed they were, and where they actually ought to be. Senior Counsel took the paper over to his client. There was a brief discussion, and then they came back, with the form signed, and a number written in the blank space.
I’ll give it to Sy-Co Corp and their lawyer. It wasn’t a bullshit number, a low ball number. They gave me a real number, a number more like something I’d actually accept, a number that made sense to pay me in costs, in light of the success I’d had, and how I got it. It was a respectful number, a common sense number, and I appreciated it an awful lot.
I tossed the paper back at them.
“Add a zero,” I said, continuing on when Senior Counsel blanched, and his junior retreated a step. “I know what’s going on here. Your client sold mine a bullshit franchise, one with a history of failing.” The franchise had opened up again under a new owner not long after Ray had lost it and then it promptly failed again. Like I said at the start of this story, it’s an old story. It’s how some franchise companies make money. “Your client makes more money selling bullshit franchises doomed to fail, then it does from the honest ones that make money. So add a zero to that number, or Ray’s gonna sue you, class action and all that, for all the people you’ve fucked.”
The Head stepped forward from the benches and spoke to me.
“We get threats like that all the time, but no one follows through. They don’t have the money to fight us, and neither does your client. So go ahead and sue.”
“It’s true that Ray doesn’t have jack shit,” I said, “not a pot to piss in, but he’s my cousin, Ray is, and even if he doesn’t have money, he’s got me. Ray’s family, and for Ray, I’ll sue you guys for free. Hell, I’ll even pay the expenses. Plus I’m gonna put a jury notice in, too, come to think of it, ‘cause juries--”
Senior Counsel cut me off, and moved his client to the back of the courtroom. There was a brief discussion, and then they came back. I watched as Senior Counsel wrote a single digit on the Minutes, a zero, written right where I wanted it.
“You’ll have to initial the change,” I said to the Head of Sy-C0, and it gave me great satisfaction to watch him sign.
“Don’t forget,” I said the moment his pen stopped moving, “for the settlement to be valid, I need to get the money today. Right now.”
“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” the Head said.
“Not if you want the settlement to stay in place. I’ll follow you back to your office, and you can put a cheque in my hands.”

• * * *

“What’s this?” my wife said when I entered the apartment later that day, after I’d driven Dr. M home, stopping first at a local pub for beers.
“It’s an absurdly expensive bunch of flowers,” I said, “although no flowers, however beautiful, however expensive, could expiate my--”
She took the flowers, and gave a kiss.
“My mom called. She told me what happened. You fixed things with my dad.”
“Yup,” I said. I had certainly done that. I’d made Dr. M a professor again, if only for a few minutes. Not only a professor, but an expert witness. The judge had declared him an expert in plain terms and Dr.M had beamed when he’d heard those words.
“And you won Ray’s case, too. But my mom didn’t know how, and I don’t know how you did it either.”
“I’ll tell you over dinner tonight,” I said.
“But we agreed no more dinners out; we have to save money, now that a baby’s coming.”
I passed her the envelope that I’d received a few hours before. She opened it, and took out a cheque, a cheque drawn up for an amount I specified, made payable to Mr. and Mrs. Calledinthe90s.
The moment I got that cheque, all I could think about was how my wife would react when I put it into her hands. I could not wait to see her eyes bulge, to hear her voice say “oh my god,” to hear her laugh.
She did none of these things. Instead, she cried.
“Does this mean we can buy a house?” The money wouldn’t be enough to buy a house, not nowadays, with prices being so crazy. But things were different back then in the 90s. Sure, the internet was barely a thing and cell phones were super expensive and a lot of things sucked, but I’ll give the nineties one thing: houses were cheap.
“I think so,” I said.

This is a little while ago now but I thought I would share. We now have 3 kids but with our first we also were in the process of getting residency in Australia with all 3 of us. This was going OK with the standard mildly annoying requests, requirements and hassle.
We provided all the correct information about our son including birth certificates.
Some way into the process we got a call from Immigration. By NO ERROR ON OUR PART someone in their process put into the system we had two children and they wanted the details of the second one. This was of course a surprise. I told the person on the phone there was no second child and after a conversation as I mentioned we established we provided NO indication on any forms ETC. They said they will need to speak to their supervisors ETC and call us back. With this being a mistake their end I thought they would sort it out.
On the call back though the supervisor while admitting basically to their error it was now in the system and made the very silly request...
"We will need for you to prove this child does not exist."
The first suggestion was for me to provide a Death Certificate!
I was already really confused with the first statement but the second literally blew my mind.
I had to explain "How can I get a death certificate for a child not born". Basically they told me that I would have to pay the registrations office with details for a child that does not exist. At this point I did not even know the name they put in the system by mistake. I would of course have to pay for this.
I told them all this was silly but at this point they were adamant and I had to arrange another call while I looked into this. After telling my wife and watching her reaction I called what I thought the right place to find out. The lady was as confused as I was but basically said they would not issue anything for something that did not exist, they had nothing for this and would not issue a death certificate of any sort.
When the Immigration called I had to say I literally had no means to do so and stressed again how insane of a request it was.
They went away and eventually sorted it themselves but added over a month delay into our Residency progress.
Anyone else had any insane requests from government agencies?
Even to today I see Common sense continually be eroded out of existence across the board and I have to wonder where we are heading :/

Love

What is love? Love according to google is “an intense feeling of deep affection” or “a great interest and pleasure in something” . Love, according to me, is something everyone desires either your 70 or 15 even i want love you probably want love too. True love might be something you’ve experienced or not for me. I haven’t even experienced the feeling of “hey i like you” maybe you have or you haven’t. I know people who thought or have or had love,love in my opinion love is only have not thought or had. The thought of someone loving you is something magical and knowing someone loves you is even better. When we talk about somebody loving us your partner might come to mind which is what i’m talking about so if your thinking about your mom or dad not loving you go find another essay about “love”. Everyone has had a crush and the feeling of their crush liking them back but then there’s people like me. People like me are people who’ve crushes never have liked them back. There's so many reasons me and my crushes haven’t worked out. The big three on why they don’t like you back 1. They never knew, 2. They think you’re ugly, 3. They simply don’t like you. There’s obviously more possible reasons but those are the big three. As you can see i'm talking about like,liking is where everything begins you don’t go up to someone saying “hey i love you” so if you didn’t know that’s how it works. I’ve had so many crushes guess how many have like me back?...
None. There's many reasons why and I remember the exact reason why for all of them let’s start off gentle Walker scobell. He doesn't know I exist which is okay because either way he’s a lot older then me. Ok now where things might hit hard I’m not going to say all of them because it might hurt my feelings lol. Top reason is they found out and thought i was ugly or weird that’s mostly the reason for all of them except the old one or deep down i know i still like him but that's besides the point. He got with my best friend at least she didn’t ask him out he did at the moment I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse. When it first happened i hated myself for thinking it could be but now it’s just a stiff feeling down my throat enough, about me lets get to the topic. Love where do i start love is the most heartbreaking gut wrenching thing one can experience well thats only my opinion after crying,fasting,hurting over, I hate love you might disagree but after being hurt over and over again i think my opinion is fair to me. Love only has two possible answers you absolutely hate it or absolutely love it for me it’s one but it might be two for you.
Maybe this is about him but I’ll never know maybe he did love me maybe he didn’t but for now he didn’t it’s not a mystery although i’d like and pretend it is but isn't this case for all of us it doesn’t matter if we had the same beginning but the same end we’ll never know why but for now just sit down put on a movie and eat his favorite.
Love
What is love? Love according to google is “an intense feeling of deep affection” or “a great interest and pleasure in something” . Love, according to me, is something everyone desires either your 70 or 15 even i want love you probably want love too. True love might be something you’ve experienced or not for me. I haven’t even experienced the feeling of “hey i like you” maybe you have or you haven’t. I know people who thought or have or had love,love in my opinion love is only have not thought or had. The thought of someone loving you is something magical and knowing someone loves you is even better. When we talk about somebody loving us your partner might come to mind which is what i’m talking about so if your thinking about your mom or dad not loving you go find another essay about “love”. Everyone has had a crush and the feeling of their crush liking them back but then there’s people like me. People like me are people who’ve crushes never have liked them back. There's so many reasons me and my crushes haven’t worked out. The big three on why they don’t like you back 1. They never knew, 2. They think you’re ugly, 3. They simply don’t like you. There’s obviously more possible reasons but those are the big three. As you can see i'm talking about like,liking is where everything begins you don’t go up to someone saying “hey i love you” so if you didn’t know that’s how it works. I’ve had so many crushes guess how many have like me back?...
None. There's many reasons why and I remember the exact reason why for all of them let’s start off gentle Walker scobell. He doesn't know I exist which is okay because either way he’s a lot older then me. Ok now where things might hit hard I’m not going to say all of them because it might hurt my feelings lol. Top reason is they found out and thought i was ugly or weird that’s mostly the reason for all of them except the old one or deep down i know i still like him but that's besides the point. He got with my best friend at least she didn’t ask him out he did at the moment I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse. When it first happened i hated myself for thinking it could be but now it’s just a stiff feeling down my throat enough, about me lets get to the topic. Love where do i start love is the most heartbreaking gut wrenching thing one can experience well thats only my opinion after crying,fasting,hurting over, I hate love you might disagree but after being hurt over and over again i think my opinion is fair to me. Love only has two possible answers you absolutely hate it or absolutely love it for me it’s one but it might be two for you.
Maybe this is about him but I’ll never know maybe he did love me maybe he didn’t but for now he didn’t it’s not a mystery although i’d like and pretend it is but isn't this case for all of us it doesn’t matter if we had the same beginning but the same end we’ll never know why but for now just sit down put on a movie and eat his favorite.

I thought of someone getting hit by a car, in the parking lot the other day. The next day my mom informed did I hear about the accident in the parking lot someone got hit.
And I thought about Kate Upton yesterday as well. And now there is a news article I saw today that said Kate Upton is back.
I'm not sure if this relates to solipsism.
But let's put it this way, everyone else is just a actor in your world your reality. Maybe the other people are real, but a copy that exist in your reality.
Much like when we dream, those who you dreams of are not real, but oddly enough that is solipsism in action. Only your mind is sure to be exist in the dream state not the people in your dreams.
There is this other term called Somber.
Which means people have their own lives at are just as complicated and so on.
So like what is somber and what is not? Could be a way to describe it debunked solipsism.
The other thing is my brain just likes to recognize patterns so it just that, that's happening.
But I I did study rational thinking and we just need to pose a experiment to test the theories in having.
Basically I'm supposing what I say comes true. Well more so it manifest in a way.
But I dont intentionally think these things I feel to say them and say it.
But idk
Money will be found soon.
So cuz I said that money will be found soon. Not by me or could be by me but to someone it will occur.
Where I'm getting at is I thought this all before
But the difference to now is the fact my mom told me if a incident that happen that I thought about a day prior.
So I'm stating that what you say can influence reality around you.
And if you know anything about quantum mechanics nothing is determined until measured it say observed.
So you very well exist and not exist at the same time which does happen. It's called superposition.
If I were to say how this happens is thoughts do control us.
Meaning not like thinking in words but thought power is what moves your fingers and legs.
But also perceptions and fears do triggers responses that are body acts out due to its instincts.
I do think the body and mind is different.
Your body is capable of much more than the mind gives the body credit for.
The other thing that needs to be addressed is free will and religion.
Religion makes us think we are special. But thinking as we do, is what makes us special, apes are capable of sign language and so on as well.
What is to be experience by other creatures should be brought into question.
I'm glad to be born a human.
But we are animals, when it's cold we cuddle blankets we procreate just the same and so on but we do have higher faculty of thought it's apparent but also not
Many experiements on rats or mice, does show up in society. It's quite interesting.
They did a population experiment and mice created social groups, much like we have now.
Umm actually maybe it's not just my mind exist
But natures of things do exist that is not clear mathematical science or physics
For instance emotions are present in many other creatures not just humans
They are clearly observed and are real.cats being scared can clearly be observed
But I guess is the mind of others real beyond their natures?
But idk
We are more alike than we are different.
Hmm
Much like how doormats exist and are often dictated by others telling them what to do and so on.
Maybe there is spiritual ether that dictates others. And that's the solipsism I was describing.
It's kind of like I'm saying I'm god, technically if I say let their be rain. Even as a joke and unexpected rainfall happens in your city or on the news somewhere
Then maybe I am god and you are a actor in my world.
I'm joking.
All in all it's just probabilities and pattern recognition that's happening by that I mean it you play chess, often a experience player is thinking 12 moves ahead, to checkmate you.
So like if you don't think considerably about the future and what you do and know everything will feel like a coincidence. But there is a law of nature by that I mean reasonable probablity if you jump off a cliff you will die if it's to high up.
So it's not expectful to thinks people will be jumping off cliffs.
The other thing is creative minds create movies false worlda and so on, and only a midnight that is exist should be able to do such a thing.
The other thing Is societies have influences, modern world people do die by heart attacks because of all the fast food we eat
That would happen less if food was healthier.

Hello! I hope you’ve had a good day.
Just like everyone else here, I’m looking to meet new people. I’d love to form a long term connection. It’s been a long time since I’ve had that. I miss looking forward to hearing from someone.
I’m 25, female, and live in the US (obviously lol). I have lots of interests. Some are watching sports (football and hockey mostly), being outside, space, history, movies/TV shows (Star Wars, Breaking Bad, Harry Potter, The Twilight Zone, Black Mirror, Shameless), and tons more! I could list everything out, but I’d much rather get to know you through conversation. It feels more genuine that way and less like an interview!
I love meeting new people and getting to know them. I put a lot of effort into the relationships I form. I can be pretty talkative and a glass half full type of person. I’m very lively most of the time lol. I mention this in case it’s not your cup of tea! I have a decent response time, I usually answer pretty quickly. I’m 420 friendly, easygoing (or I think so!), and not easily offended. Sarcasm is my love language and I love dark humor.
As for you, please be 18+ and willing to put some effort into the conversation!
Anyways, I don’t want to make this too long. I really hope I hear from you! And if not, I hope you find what you’re looking for 😊
Edit: I know my account is new but I’m not a bot! lol I promise. New account, not new to Reddit :)