Little girl birthday party invitations peace

Having a conversation with something,
And one thing is crazy people who are New to being rich, New money, cant handle it or know what to do yet, just love spending money and showing of too much, or just have more money than brains,
And some things I have come over that those people might throw some money on to get.
And that is a bottle of champagne, where the bottle has 3000 diamonds set in gold prongs all over the bottle,
a gold lable with the letters in the name that has a dot over it, has a swarovski crystal applied by hand,
how the hell did they get the small delicate prongs, and the diamonds on then? Is there a machine that can do that?
And why is he bosting and making so much hubbubb like 2-4 small manmade glass "crystals", almost more than the diamonds that there are like 3000 of and not labgrown?
The people who has tasted the champagne inside,
which the maker was talking up as one of the best ever, like he had filled the bottle with some vintage, extra good year, of some Dom or something,
the people tastings's verdict of "the best champagne ever " , didn't taste the greatest,
is that Nice wineexpert talk for: shittiest champagne I ever tasted? 🤣
And what kind of cash you would have to own this bottle?
Just the small sum of 2,75 millon USD.
Then the guy has a vodka in the same line,
With the same 3000 diamonds set in gold prongs, gold lable with swarovski, and fancy kork as the champagne.
But since the dude making this is russian, making some good russian vodka,
he had to get a little oligark walking outside as it's 20 degrees celsius or more, and gave it a little furcoat with a hood,
foefur by all means, the maker is also a member of PETA..
he says he has made the best russian vodka with all the best ingredients, like crystal clear springwater,
and what gives the little extra, making it the very best russian vodka EVER,
is that , in one of the steps of his top secret filtration system, the vodka runs over even more diamonds!
Normal people from russia, who knows vodka,
and not being pretensious or trying to seem like they have refined, expensive tastes,
and trying to impess other rich people in the room,
just saying it like it is, saying what they realy feel.
Said it was ok, drinkable ,
tiered the same as the cheepest, worst, russian vodka I have ever had,
and what I could afford of vodka when I was young and started Drinking for real, was 0,5 liter bottle of Kalinka,
bottom tier stuff,
but it got me unconsious every time, so it did what it was supposed to I guess,
why I would ever start my drinking with Downing half a liter vodka, with less and less OJ for every drink as a mixer, I willi never know,
these days the hardest liqour i touch is some rum when I want some strawberry daquirys, guess I learned my lesson,
But the vodka they compared this "best vodka in the world, filtered through real diamonds " to was even worse than the kalinka,
but that is my personal opinion,
the vodka they compared to, was Jeltsin, dont know if anyone here has tried that one..
And the price of this wonder of the world, it's even worse than the champagne, because it's 3,75 million USD!
And if you have some spare change after dropping a cool 6,5 mill on a bottom tier champagne, and a bottom tier vodka in some iced out bottles,
Feel like you smell a little musty from the pre gaming, and want to smell like a rich duche when hitting the club?
Don't worry, for in the same line as the bad rich duche alcohol you dropper more money on than some make an entire lifetime,
There is also a perfume in the same obnoctious iced out bottle,
with a little foefur coat on,
and it comes in a wooden boxs with Black castiron hinges,
smells like au de rich duche,
and could be yours, having you smelling duchy in no time ,
the very attractive and sexy, but very golddigging,
women with botox and fillers and other plastic in all the right places,
5kg makeup, but very nicely done,
half her head is fake hair, the color isn't hers,
but with all the fake, she does fake the way that looks real , and hot,
looking like a perfect trophy girlfriend, could turn perfect trophy wife, or a Nice younger, hotter, trophy second wife,
if you wear our perfume, they can smell you from a mile away, and come running,
not to make the first move, but standing in some seductive, flirty pose, hot girls can do,
girls like me didn't even get invited to watch the video on how to do it, it was on the invite only, hot girls exclusive youtube Chanel 😪😅
And to make this happen, what you need to do is easy, just drop another 2,25 millon USD, and it's yours.
And the next thing that's coming in the line?
Coffee!!
There was no info yet , so I dont know how they are going to ice out the tin,
but do you agree with my guess,
that it's either the real deal of that Coffee that is the most rare and expensive in the world,
Kopi Luvak or something.
that is made by the civet, that I thought was in the feline family,
but it's actually a carnivorous mammal,
so our cat looking very very very distant cousin,
but by marriage,
so just a stepcousin,but still in the family 😅
And the civet eats the fruit the Coffee beans are inside?
Just the pods with beans?
Don't know,
But some, a little disgusting people, goes around picking through every civet poop they can find,
pick out the partialy digested beans that didn't turn to poop,
hopefully washes them very well,
roast them,
and boom worlds most expensive Coffee,
which is just poop Coffee!
Or did he just pick up some typicly russian Coffee at the supermarked,
Made a fancy iced out tin to put it in,
and if we look at the price of the other things,
Is going to slap a price like between 1,25 and 2 millon USD on it? 🤣
The reason for this very long post, it does have a point and it has to do with wine , you have now heard this insane things about champagne, vodka, perfume and Coffee.
But I tried using the Google machine myself, but the Google machine is a lot of the time not my friend, and I didn't find an answer..
Are there, or has there been anything like that with wine , red or white, rose or sparkling, any wine?
That the wine is ok or so , not the best, but has an insane bottle and other packaging if there are any, and has an insane price?
Doesn't have to like the BS i found, that the price is in the millions,
but something crazy only rich people could or would drop on a bottle of wine,
not from a top winyard,
from a good or better year,
a rare bottle of one of the best ever vintages of that wine,
or something else spectacular,
so if an event big enough to open such a special bottle doesn't happen,
it's gone up in value if you sell it years later,
or could make a valuble and Nice piece to make a family heirloom,
especialy if you have a kid or grandkid that turns out to just a big a winenut as you..
just a big ass amount of money,
on a meh bottle of wine,
for the cool, or bling bottle?
Anyone know of?
If you know stuff about the same, around other types of alcohol, like tequila, cognac, or anything, i would love to hear them all.
Sorry for the very long post,
and Sorry if I made grammatical mistakes in anyway in the text,
english isn't my first language,
and I have insomnia,
and im well into my third 24 hour a day awake,
so I passed 50 hours a while ago,
so not on my A game, for sure.
And the reason for the text being 549 miles long?
I'm sorry, but you had the misfortune of stumbling on to, and becoming a victim to one of my adhd hangup posts,
They tend to become way to long, i haven't learned any ways to stop myself yet , new to the whole diagnose thing,
I have been struggling with it since like the end of kindergarten ,beginning of school, without knowing what it was.
And when I was to old for non stop hyper all waking second of the day,
I was so scared of being weird and fit in even less than I did, and scared to do something at home, so they would start thinking i was weird and not like me either..
So I hid it as best i could, i took everything that came with that and pushed it as far down and hid it as i just could managed , had some small outlets when I was alone at home, and the times i cracked at home, it was either against my Brothers, and because of lack of selfregulation, it was either exploding with anger, crying hystericly, screaming as loud and as long my lungs and voice would let me from irritation or frustration, or having the same extremes with positive feelings, they most likely thought i was a normal part bipolar, part psychopath, part spoilt rotten daddys little Princess who gets everything she wants, never gets in trouble, and can get us in trouble with just one cry or one word, and part sweet, happy , Nice littlesister, you know the kind of babysister every big Brother, most of the time, have? And it's normal for a kid to be a hyper sometimes, but I had a childhood being scared to be me, tummyaches all the time for the stress and work, physical and mental symptoms getting slowly worse with time, and buhu, i had it so bad, millon kids had it a millon times worse, but it still wasn't plesant and 10/10 would not recomend! It's been about 20 years since I had the lightbulb moment what might be going on with me, had no idea how to move forward, thought it cost a lot of money to get it checked out, didn't have any money, now, at the end of my 30's i get it, so not learned how to stopp the long rants, but it get here some day, maybe when I get on the medication, start testing soon, which I look very much forward too. The moment i went from wondering if I had it, to knowing without knowing, if you get it, was one night after way to much alcohol, and a supersurge in inpulsivity, have it all the time, but it usually just make me online shop to much or buy something unhealty stuff to eat , and waaay to much of it, I want chips, candy, chocolate, some cookies or baked goods, and some full fat soda, and eat everything today? Sure go ahead, no worries,
But that night i did that one illegal thing, that if someone with adhd do it, their reaction to it is almost polar oposite of normal people?
It was the best few hours of my life, I hade peace and quiet , and a lot of the unvolentairy movements took a little break for the first time that I could remember,
It was the best thing I ever did, and that scared the shit out of me, and I kept away after,
that peace and quiet could had me addicted if I got to have it one to many times,
could most done a few times before stopping, but it was better to be safe than sorry,
and I have not felt peace since, that is what 18 years ago,
so even if I know the medication wont be the same, anything resembling something less than now will be 1 millon times better..
So now dont just a 500 mile long post, but a bonus 450 mile long explenation about the 500 mile post, so if you actually took the time to read it all:
Congratulation on getting to the very end of the 950 mile long post, i hope it wasn't all the worst time Reading, but I give many thanks for the time and effort you took , and I bid you a good day ❤️
(And if I just spent over 2 hours writing this, and run into the same as i did last time, and cant get it to post ,
i will be very angry, maybe even make an angry sound out loud.
Well, here we go, cross my fingers, cross my heart, and hope for the best, hopefully i will see you on the other side,
and I need a very long youtube short break, that is what I use to be stimulated non stop, but they are short and switch all the time,
so I don't have to keep my fokus , attention and keep track of everything and remembering things like with movies and shows,
and they don't make me overstimulated,
the sound keeps my volume att 11 kaos more easy to handle,
once every leapyear i even get so into things on the shorts,
i ignore my kaos a little, just some minutes like around 5 or so at the most, but its Nice,
that is where I'm headed, and I'm not coming out for hours.
Have a Nice day my friend,
peace, love, knowledge, understanding, friendship,
and everything else positive that your heart might be longing for in the evil times, and violent world we are living at the moment,
for you and all your loved ones❤️
Remember that even if evil screams the loudest, takes more room, is more in your face, visible and easy to notice.
Good is wispering it's warm, calm, and comforting message of everything good, from the shadow of evil,
But even from the shadow, the warm, loving , and welcoming little light from the good will always be shining in the darkness under evil, guiding you, showing you the way home,
And you can always find it if you look for it ❤️

It was my oldest son’s communion last weekend. We invited all family from 3 sides (mine, sons fathers and my partners). My partners brother messaged him two days before saying he couldn’t make it because he had a match at 2pm. The church was 10:30am. He said he had a work thing to do after the match and wouldn’t make it to the party either.
It’s my babies first birthday party Sunday which is my partners son. His brother is now asking us about plans because he knows there is a party. I don’t want him to come to the party because I think it’s rude he couldn’t make time for his step nephew but can for his blood nephew.
Do you think I’m in the wrong? I just don’t want there to be a difference in my kids with the people in their lives. Why show up for one and not the other?
My partner is also struggling deciding on how to approach his family about it for them to see just because my first born isn’t his blood doesn’t mean he’s any different to his baby.
Edit : also forgot to mention brother in law went out drinking on the Saturday night so could have made the party if he didn’t want to go to the church. The work thing must of been an excuse.

It was my oldest son’s communion last weekend. We invited all family from 3 sides (mine, sons fathers and my partners). My partners brother messaged him two days before saying he couldn’t make it because he had a match at 2pm. The church was 10:30am. He said he had a work thing to do after the match and wouldn’t make it to the party either.
It’s my babies first birthday party Sunday which is my partners son. His brother is now asking us about plans because he knows there is a party. I don’t want him to come to the party because I think it’s rude he couldn’t make time for his step nephew but can for his blood nephew.
Do you think I’m in the wrong? I just don’t want there to be a difference in my kids with the people in their lives. Why show up for one and not the other?
My partner is also struggling deciding on how to approach his family about it for them to see just because my first born isn’t his blood doesn’t mean he’s any different to his baby.
Edit : also forgot to mention brother in law went out drinking on the Saturday night so could have made the party if he didn’t want to go to the church. The work thing must of been an excuse.

Hello everyone,
I am actually kind of uncomfortable its actually the first time I ever do a post on Reddit but I do think its really necessary I have to do it because I think its time for me to not deny it and accept that I Do need help.
Hello everyone my name is Aymeric I am now 16 years old and since january I consider seriously to unalive myself, I've always denied it but sonner or later it had to happen and I have yo accept that I need help, if you have the time could you please help me.
Since I was a child alot of things happened that made me grew mature faster but even thought when the worst was on me I've always stand positive but like I said, since January it all went downhill, my family is an hassle and I discovered things really dark about my family that I didnt know, fights were becoming really often and alot of things happened during this 5 month and I cant hold it anymore, its of course not only this 5 month that made me consider suicide, its since my childhood that I had problems but it would be too long to explain it or even resume it.
And now because of that I cant think of one peaceful day where I dont think about Killing myself I see everything as an opportuntity to finally let go of that weight of mine, knife, glass shards, rope, each time I see it I wanna do it but only one thing make me not do it, a girl, we will call her Louise (I dont want her to find that, she doesn't know about my situation) Louise is a friend of mine since 6th grade and that girl I love her, not as lover but as friendship I love her deep within my heart she's like a Sister to me each time I felt sad or to the point of breaking I think of hugging her and just fall on her arms its like a breath of freedom, cooking, massage, cleaning I learned all these things only for one thing, to be able to help her and pleased her by food etc etc I call her my "Little Princess" because I did all of this because its the first time I ever felt love by someone that act like a real sister to me, my real Sisters are slackers who always give their work to me and never shown any type of affection to me and Louise is the only person that I love that much and so I dont want to Hurt her, far from that my mind is on the edge of giving up but my heart stand still and will keep up for her, I dont want to consider the suicide a solution it will only Hurt her, thats why I want your help I want to know how can I get rid of such harmful thinking, its really hard for me to talk about my problems but someday I will talk to her about my problem and I will make sure to fight my suicide thought the best I can, so thats why im asking for your helps if you have any advice I'll take it because now I really need it, am at my lowest even thought I show to others my highest.
Thank you if you read that so far, sorry for my bad english its not my first language so I look forward for your answers.

TDLR: I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for 3 years now. I sometimes perceive/judge him to have a weird/flirty attitude towards other girls sometimes. Am I trippin?
There have been a few instances that have made me feel weird; and I’ll explain the 2 instances that feel the most significant to me below. I just can’t tell, dawg. He’s social. He’s proud. He’s youthful, and he loves variety- variety of people. He lives for conversation, and I just don’t want to be overthinking here. I wonder: is my boyfriend playing some dumb game sometimes, or am I trippin? (I’ve brought this thought up to him in the past- after the first instance I listed here. He denied any foul play...but then, ya know, something weird happened again.)

Instance 1: We were at a gym, waiting at the front counter for me to get a new gym card. Turns out he knows the girl who walks up, they start excitedly buzzing back and forth, I'm quiet the whole time watching them, unsure if someone's going to acknowledge me or not. She never once looked at or registered me; and he did not acknowledge me. Something about her demeanor just felt flirty- a lot of sarcasm, jesting, low stares with little smirks... just looking at him in a way that made me feel like I was intruding on some kind of moment. Over 10 mins have passed and nobody has acknowledged me yet, I’m still right beside him. Eventually he asks her what she’s doing; to which she replies “some homework... wanna come help?” With low eyes and a big smirk.
He stutters and says “well, I can’t cuz I gotta workout…and also she needs a new gym card” and gestured to me. As we walked away, he mused “that was weird.” I asked him to elaborate, and his response was very vague and incomprehensible. I felt like he was throwing words out there to backpedal. I pushed it, to which he then said “idk, it kinda felt flirty” To which I said “ok, I can see why you think that.” I later on told him I didn't like how I wasn't acknowledged; especially after she asked him to essentially come behind the desk with her and help her study.
A couple months later; he asks me if I’d enjoy a party. I keep asking questions to ask who’s party, turns out he spoke to her earlier at the gym and found out she’s going to a party at a college. He was like “I thought it might be fun for us, something different.” I basically said: hey man, hard pass, and this feels weird. How do you even know her? And did you not admit you felt yourself she flirted with you?
He got all apologetic for "not realizing it was weird" as I argued my logic and things felt a little pathetic to me after. Turns out she was friends with his ex, when I noted to him how it seemed they already knew each other.

Instance 2: We were visiting my friend at the bar she works at. There was a new worker there, a woman near our age. When my friend brings her to us to introduce her; my bf immediately says “hey- do you workout? I can tell.” The world disappears around them for a while- they're jesting, throwing around wit, getting to know each other with excited intrigue. Like ok, social people right? After maybe 10 mins I try to introduce myself to their convo, throwing in a couple thoughts; but they didn't notice. So I sat back and chilled- letting my thoughts flow freely so that I wouldn't get caught up in a reactive feeling and internalize my perceptions. Eventually, my bf's and I's companion (who accompanied us) gets quiet- I got the vibe he was observing their convo himself- he was also saying nothing. He's a good friend of ours, a very observant friend to me. I think after a while my bf noticed we'd been rather silent and he starts interacting with me again, rubbing my back.
See? I don’t want to be tripping over dumb stuff here.
But uh... We later get home, and he randomly brings her up again- how cool she was, how muscular she was, and more thoughts about her. Eventually the topic died down because I was just kind of candidly responding; waiting to see if there was something else he was trying to get at.
Now like. We live together, he loves spending time with me; all that. He's never hurt our trust in a sense of being unfaithful; so that's where I'm stuck feeling like...do I just have some internal stuff to work out here?

Chapter 1: the event
It was the fall of my intern year as I bean my off service trauma rotation. This month was ubiquitously notorious for being the most labor intrusive and least productive rotaion of our emergency medicine program. Knowing this I entered with the intention of simply surviving the month.
Another intern and I let’s call them A for sake of ambiguity, we’re the first emergency medicine residents to roste on the trauma services that year. A shaky start would be an understatement. In the words of chance the raper “like my grama with the Parkinson’s playing operation.” Would better describe it. Medically we did well. We were very competent and completed our work daily, but communication and coordination was non existent. Our Cheifs had informed us that Tuesday was our day of and the Trauma cheif residents had minimum communication with us, or our Cheifs as it seams when A and I did not report on Tuesday they sternly made their dissatisfaction known.
I have struggled with insomnia sense the age of 10. Had 2 sleep studies by this point in my life and been prescribed nearly every sleeping aid on the market. The 80-94 hr work weeks of our trauma rotaion only worsened my insomnia. My lack of sleep likely contributed to a less than prime adaptive immune system and 2 days out of my trauma rotaion I contracted strep like symptoms with associated nausea, requiring me to call for a sick day the next day. No the first day that I felt too ill to work. I was not fully aware of the reporting process. I reported to my Chiefs, but I did not believe I could come to work tomorrow with amble time and notice, however I was somewhat delayed in letting their Cheifs know, because the surgical chiefs rotated every few days and I did not know who my was going to be the next day. The second day which I had to call out sick I was able to locate the cheif for the next day and reprot according to our university’s protocol, which requires that if a resident feels they are not fit for work they must not come in and the university must have staff coverage without any fear or implementation of punitive actions.
I had finally survived to the last week of my trauma rotaion and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. What I could not see was the pile of stress, shitty diet, lack of mental well ness and sleep deprivation which I was pushing down to reach the light. By this time I had seen a psychiatrist regularly for sleep medication. I had mentioned to him that I had been experiencing more stressed lately and feel that I might be depressed. he reassured me that it was likely only due to my circumstances, given the difficulty of the trauma rotation and wish to reassess once the rotation was over. Looking back I had to fill the habit of drinking more than I usually do. My only on nights before I have days off became 1-2 beers every other night. All of this repressed unhealthy shit finally pushed bad on September 23rd. That night I was at work even later than usual, I stayed up later than usual and couldn’t seem to fall asleep. With the stress of only having minimal sleep and knowing I only had 2 more days of trauma left, I took an extra dose of my sleeping medication.
I opened my eyes to the fighting sight of sun beaming in my window and I instantly knew I was late. (Sense I hadn’t seen the sun in a month) . Due to my need for scrupulous sleep hygiene I have been sleeping with my phone of and away for me. I rushed to grab it and watched as the little Apple logo seamed to glow on the screen for an eternity. Then in conjunction with its fading I saw 3 missed calls from my director, a text from college A and 2 missed calls from the surgical director. Still, I was able to calm myself, knowing that resident A had been late to this rotation by a few hours 2 other days and nothing came of it. I called my director back and he asked me to report to his office where I was greeted by my director, my coordinator and another emergency medicine facility.
With the only explanation of: “we just want you to get better”, I was handed a letter, to my relief it did not entail my termination, but a declaration of administrative leave and a requirement to undergo an evaluation at a well known university in Florida.
Lake any other savvy millennial, I did my research. By research I mean numerous google searches and screeches thru the depts of redit. To my dismay I discovered that in order for a residency program to fire you, they must first initiate an administrative suspension. I would soon find out however, being terminated would have been a delightful outcome compared to what ensued.
I spend the next few weeks in the wallos of regret and depression. I indulged in higher qualities of alchohol then I ever have before. I all but ceased communing with peers, and abruptly stoped any physical activity I had once enjoyed. Frightened as I was I was ensured, it will be ok “we just want you to get better”
Chapter 2 The evaluation : guilty until proven innocent I did exactly as instructed and scheduled an evaluation, I supposed that this was either a mental evaluation to assess if I’m fit for work with plans of termination or it actually was an evaluation to better treat my insomnia. To this day I regret my ignorance, and wish I had researched the process more. The Hindi / sand-skrt idea of Hamsa 🪬 is that in order to do any good you must have full knowledge or else good intentions can result in harm. I truely believe my director had good intentions, however but him and I did not have full knowledge of the nature of this evaluation.
Looking back see how easily I could have avoided my troubles by asserting legal aid at this point or even by researching this evaluation process more in depth. If one searches impaired practitioner program which I now know this evaluator works for, the search entire will populate 5 or 6 layferms along side their home website and there is a valid reason for this.
If one every finds themself in this process I employ you to bring a DSM to your evaluation or at least be familiar with the most common use disorders in the DSM-5, because your evaluation will turn into a dance of questions where the evaluator attempts to trap you in a round about way to stating something that may qualify for one of the diagnosis. I have provided an image from the DSM-5 below outlining AUD, which the evaluator concluded that I had the most severe from:
Image
Example***** Here are 10 examples of how he fraudulently assessed me taken directly from his assessment note.

1. Evaluator: Have you ever stoped drinking in the last year.

Me: yes I stoped every week day, I was only drinking on the weekends, until two weeks ago.
-Evaluator uses stoping and starting every week to qualify for 2 or more unsuccessful attempts to stop in the last year “There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use.”

1. Evaluator Have you ever had withdrawal symptoms

Me no
Evaluator Well Have you ever had a hangover? You know that’s a from of acute withdrawal
Me: yes in college, I had a few but that was years ago and I’m pretty sure the pathophysiology is different.
Evaluator uses this to count for withdrawal symptoms even tho is was more than a year ago

1. Evaluator: Have you even taken your sleeping medication on a day or night which you drank? Me: Yes, I took my prescriptions are prescribed but I never drank close to bed

Evaluator: qualified this as dangerous behavior with alcohol (where the DSM gives examples such as unprotected sex and drunk driving). The sleeping medication I was on is not a benzodiazepine therefore it is not deadly with alcohol. I personally have seen many patients in the ED who have taken their entire bottle of the medication and drank copious amounts, we just monitor them over night and rehydrate them

1. Evaluator Has anyone told you you drink to much or been worried about you Me: No I drink much less than my friends

Evaluator what about your girlfriend? Me: well she actually doesn’t drink at all she doesn’t like it. She often buys me beer for The Weeknd’s tho. One time we went to a movie and she got a little irritated because I waited for beer then complained about them not having any craft beer. So she said, “you couldn’t have just said no” and drank something else. However, she apologized after and said it’s worth waiting if it’s my only day off.
Evaluator said this qualifies for continued drinking despite causing significant relation consequences, ie divorce.

1. Evaluator : you have sleep issues I hear, and your chart says you’ve had depression in the past, don’t you know that alcohol can effect your sleep and mood Me: yes that’s why I never drink within 3 hours of sleep.

Evaluator but you knew this and still drank
Evaluator: qualifies for drinking despite unwanted physical or psychological effects (this should be recurring to effects the alcohol is causing, I have had insomnia sense the age of 10 long before I took my first sip)
7 evaluator you were late for work and told my you had a drink the day before
Me: Yes but I was late because I didn’t sleep and took double my sleeping meds, I will never do that again
Qualifies for 2 significant work or school issues in the past year ( a therapist and other psychologist ensured me that being late on or a few days doesn’t count they typically are getting fired or failing) ( moreover, this would assume I was late do to drinking it’s self and also assume if happened more than once)

1. • Alcohol is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended

He never once asked anything related to this question yet said I qualified in his final report 9. A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain alcohol, use alcohol, or recover from its effects. The evaluators logic here was sense I was late for work and I had 2 beers the day before I must be taking long to recover from it (this is assuming I missed due to alcohol)

1. Tolerance drinking more to require the same effect: this he checked as true in his final note however it was never even discussed in our evaluation. I did mention to him that I’ve been drinking more than I had earlier in the year frequency wise, but they said nothing to do with quantity or needing more.
   
2. Wanting to drink so bad you can not think of anything else: this is the only qualification of SAUD my evaluator said I did not have.
   

Moreover, without legal help I was not aware that I could obtain a second evaluation or even oppose going to get evaluated at all, but that wouldn’t have mattered seeing I still thought this was for my health and wellbeing as seen when I was asked why do you think you are here to today, to which I replayed “so that I can be evaluated to see what is needed to get back to work”.
To maks the ordeal more infuriating the evaluator continues to ingratiate himself and lie through the process telling you, “it will be fine as long as you are 100% honest”, “anything you say in here is between you and me” or “you slipped up once with your meds, I know your residnecy program they will probably just want a few more out patient tests”
Two weeks later I received a phone call right before I left for an out of state vacation to visit my nice for her birthday. During the call I was informed that I would be required to complete a partial hospitalization program (PHP) lasting “6-10 weeks” which would coast from 15-50 grand not including doctor visits or housing which is billed separately. I suppressed this inconvenience, enjoyed my vocation and reported when I returned, knowing that I must complete this soon so I may return to work with due to the fact that my payed time off would soon be diminished. At this time I had not yet heard of the organization PRN.
Chapter 3 Guilty till proven innocent: The diagnosis
Shell shocked I arrived to a in patient psychiatric unit and was rapidly cleared to progress to treatment without detoxification. During my 90 day of forced rehabilitation I met a few other individuals who were unjustly and fraudulently forced into treatment. I began to look up to one of these such members of the men’s community, who I will refer to as patient X for ambiguity sake.
Unlike me patient X did have alcohol use disorder. He spent many clinic days drinking to avoid alcoholic withdraws. The curious component of his story is that he admitted his depravity, saught help and through his own journey became sober. The bodies at be, namely his local physician, Health monitoring program, rejected his personal path to sobriety and forced him to undergo 90 days of in patient treatment before he could practice medicine again. When he checked in to rehab he had been sober for over a year.
Ask for Stories of people from online
As for me I spend many sleepless nights pondering how consuming a legal substance in a moderate amount could throw me into significant legal financial issues. My labs my toxicology, my story and my collateral from colleagues from colleagues all indicated light to moderate alcohol use but my evaluators word stood as the word of God.
More frightening was the director of this rehabs acknowledgment of this. The director who happens to also coincidentally be the evaluator, stated to me as well as to staff on multiple occasions: “ I suggest inpatient treatment for everyone who is reported”. “This is safer for me not to miss anyone who could harm patients, and I figure there must be a reason someone reported them.”
I am still elucidating the reason why I was determined guilty and proven innocent, however I can say from my 90 day stent that the majority of the patients at this rehab needed to be there. This program is saving lives of both providers and patients, however it is destroying the lives of those wrongfully accused.
Chapter 4 your lisense rehab or jail : Upon arivil I was sent to a detox hospital underwent a medical examination and was “one of the lucky ones” who required no detoxification and could report directly to PHP. Like everyone else, I spent 90 days in a PHP, being as 6-10 weeks is simply a lie they tell patients to decrease the change of resisting the treatment. When discussing the topic one therapist sated “if we told patients 90 days they would never come.” She then attempted to justify the treatment by outlining the story of a patient she had called who “didn’t make it to treatment” and killed themselves”. It is my belief that it is not the lack of PHP which impelled such professionals to take their life, but them realizing that they now will be obliged to undergo 90 days of PHP, 5 years of PRN monitoring with a loss of autonomy and hundreds of thousands of dollars taken from them that induced their hopelessness. For even if these professionals were truly mentally unstable in their addictions, in every case it was only following a phone call where they were informed they must undergo treatment that they took their life’s. By this time I still haven’t the slightest clue what PRN was.
Despite the security these programs provide for many my 6 main issues with them can be summarized in : 1. Kick backs: evaluators are directors of treatment clinics 2. The reported are guilty till proven innocent 3. The price, the overflow of money these places drag in from both patients and state universities is appalling, they charge separately for every visit and test 4. Although they make the claim that they are individualized, they are anything but. Every patient gets the same stay and treatment from the doctor drunk on the job and the one who was late to a shift 5. They force voluntary treatment. remember that friendly evaluator who promised he had your best interest at heart, so you opened up and told him everything about your substance use/ developmental / family history, well if you don’t stay for 90 days he will be “normally obliged” to tip the board of medical off to you.

1. The programs have overstepped their intended jurisdiction. -these programs work well if they function how they were intended at their inception. Cite original purpose. Originally these programs were designed to protect physicians and civilians from impaired practitioners; being healthcare workers who were impaired at work. Over the years, these organizations have extended their authority to encompass individuals with substance use disorders When not at work and also those who are in training to become healthcare professionals. Take for example myself compared to a physician who is impaired at work. A doctor who arrived for duty under the influence would surely benifit from the extensive testing, therapy and accountability enforced via these programs. In accordance the 20,000$ per year cost is appropriate when only making up roughly 7% of their yearly salary vs nearly half of a residents. In my case with my loss of income from employment, coast of treatment and monitoring, this year I will be required to pay 20,000$ to work. Yes, I will be losing money to work. Even if did indeed have a substance use disorder this level of monitoring wouldn’t not be considered appropriate.

Dispite all of the miscomings of this System My time spend in PHP was indeed helpful, as I believe it would be for anyone. Time for exercise, a reprieve from work and weekly counseling. A sample structure of my day to day schedule is provided below for insight:
Structure The general structure of these rehabitation centers is as follows: 1. One week of orientation phase, where you are not allowed in electronics or contact with the outside world world. Therefore, if you’re going, bring some things you would like to read or study. 2. In phase 2, you can use your phone however you cannot leave campus. You must stay in the dorm on campus. These shitty 1 room run down apartments with two other roommates will cost you about $1000 a week, they are required for at least four weeks and they are billed separately, no insurance will help you out here. 3. In phase 3 you can commute to campus if you beg your therapist and live very close. Whether you’re on campus or living off-campus, you are allowed to leave up to four hours per day. If you commute, you’ll be required to take a sober link decide you must Breath, alcohol test into every 6 hours. Like everything else in this program you must pay for this separately, a few hundred dollars a week. You advanced to other phases by completing assignments, however, assignments are limited by required built-in time, intrusive, scheduling, and reviewing. Therefore, if you do everything as rapidly as possible phase 1 will take one week phase 2 will take three weeks.
Every day schedule:
7:30: wake up, report to the front desk to inform them that you haven’t ran away yet and take and prescribed medications. They keep all your medications and require that you report to take them; for me this was antidepressants in an attempt to dispel the depression I contracted from being forced into treatment and whatever off label medication they were attempting to treat my ADHD with, since control medications were forbidden.
8 am: community group assessments This consisted of other patients presenting their assignments amongst the large group, on the weekends this was often an hour later and 12 study regularly took the place of assignment presentation.
10 am: process group. This was a two hour group therapy session with 6 to 12 other professionals in a therapist and training or occasionally a licensed mental health therapist.
1 pm: recreation This was generally about an hour of some sober themed craft or activity. Once a week this time slot was used for yoga.
2 pm: this was another time slot used for patients to present assignments as well as for individual therapy sessions. Each patient had one individual therapy session lasting 30 minutes per week.
3pm: This was time allotted to work on assignments or go to the gym on your sex specific scheduled gym day.
5pm: this time was used for guest speakers or another 12 step study group.
6 pm : this was generally an off-campus 12 step group
10 pm: report to the front desk and let them know you still haven’t ran away and take and Medication which are prescribed to take at night, then return to your cot bed in your room with 1-2 other roommates.
I found the community to be one of the most beneficial aspects of the PHP program. I was in a cohort of chill ass professionals of the same occupation who were always there to help each other.
Assignments The curriculum of the PHP consisted of assignment based on every step of the 12th step program. Generally, a patient would be required to complete an assignment on their own, review it with other patients, then faculty and finally present the assignment in front of the whole treatment group. You’re only given one assignment at a time and there are multiple steps to each which all requires scheduling this ensures that no matter how determined a patient is a full 90 days of treatment is required to complete all the assignments.
AA structure -the obsolete nature of AA has been verified in numbers studies, but I will refrain from divulging here and lend that endeavor to Dr. Lance Dodes very thorough discussion on the subject,in “the sober truth “
In all sincerity, if I truely did have a severe use disorder this experience could have been life saving. I only wish I could have used my 50 grand for someone who has spent their life time In addictive without reprieve. My first conversation when I was given my phone back was how I wish my father could be able to attend this PHP.
Chapter 5 reporting and PRN Self reporting What they ask you What you should tell them
There’s a third-party agency called professional resource network. Every state has their own. This agency works as a liaison between you and whatever credentialing service your occupation requires. Essentially they ensure your monitoring after treatment. Stake governments and licensing boards trust them, mainly because they monitor with the highest level of intrusiveness. This alleviates much work for state governments and licensing boards because once an individual is being monitored by a professional resource network, then they are deemed appropriate for duty and no further investigation/litigation needs to occur, as long as the monitored individual completely complies.
Because I was never impaired at work I was never reported to this agency. The general workflow of things someone would report you to professional resource network, then the resource network would contact you, and then you would be required to report for an evaluation at a treatment center, which would inevitably result in a suggestion I’ve treatment at that given treatment center. In my case I was sent to the treatment center without PRN being involved. Thus, two weeks into treatment. I was notified by my therapist that I needed to call PRN and self report. I attempted to resistance given that I did not have a problem and was not individually seeking help. I asked what happened if I didn’t self report. I was told that in order to stay in the treatment program I had to report to PRN. This meant either I report to PRN or I get kicked out of the treatment program and lose my job.
When you report to PRN they will ask you why you are in treatment. They will then list off every substance imaginable, asking you if you have ever tried the substance and when your last use was. Ultimately, they will obtain your discharge information from your treatment center, so it is in your best interest to report only what was found in your biochemical testing. If it wasn’t in your hair, I would argue that you don’t have a use disorder regarding that substance and it’s not relevant. I don’t believe it’s important for them to know that you smoked weed when you were 12.
Chapter 6 The contract:
Before being discharged from a treatment facility, a professional resource network will have you sign a contract. A little known fact which I was oblivious to is that contracts can be negotiated. Though this isn’t it possible, it is highly improbable that you can negotiate your contract since PRN has a power to delay your clearance to return to work.
Contractor almost never personalized, and I have not heard of a contract which is not a five-year agreement. You will sign releases of information so that PRN has access to all of your information which was gathered at the treatment facility. You must have a therapist, psychiatrist, primary care, doctor, and a addiction, medicine psychiatrist. You assign releases of information for all of them. You will be required To commit to: 1. three mutual aid meetings a week which you must log. I log smart recovery meetings. 2. Weekly therapy sessions with an approved mental health therapist from their list 3. Monthly doctors appointments with an addiction medicine psychiatrist 4. Yearly appointments with a primary care physician 5. Monthly appointments with a psychiatrist 6. Daily check-ins on a random drug testing app ( you will agree to weekly urine tests, a peth test 4 times a year, a hair test twice a year and a little caveat that says anything else they deem, clinically reasonable) 7. Quarterly update reports which you are required to obtain from a workplace monitor, therapist, addiction, medicine, psychiatrist, primary care physician and any other doctor you are seeing. 8. You must upload all of your prescriptions into a mobile application every single time you get them refilled and are not allowed to take them until they are approved. 9. Attendance of a PRN group via zoom. This is a local group you are assigned along with other monitored practitioners. There is a fee of roughly 130$ a month to attend this required group. For me all of these requirements coast around 20,000 a year. If you ever have a positive test even if it is the result of contamination from rubbing alcohol or unintentional ingestion of alcohol/ allergy medication your contract will rest to 5 years from the time of positive test. Once your five year contract is completed, you must ask to be released from monitoring. At that point they will search for any reason to keep you under monitoring. This could be dilute urines, daily check ins or a week where you did not attend mutual aid meetings. Every certification and license which you apply for will likely ask you if you were under a monitoring program/ have been treated for substance use. You must give an explanation and check yes. As far as licensing programs are concerned, if you were under the monitoring of PRN, you are safe, however they group practitioners who have had behavioral issues with practitioners who were diverting drugs from work. Therefore, keep in mind that you will be labeled as a sever addict.
7 Back to work and only work. During treatment your only goal is to return to work, however when you return your experience will be drastically distinct from what you remember. For me, I was now working in isolation. Missing six months of my training meant that no other Resident was on the same rotation as me. My coworkers at all formed friend groups. When I returned I was greeted with much concern for my well being. No one would speak to be about my absence, however everyone knew there is only one reason a resident would leave for 6 months then return. My Accdeemic meetings were consisting of attending telling me “I have a target on my back now” and “ I have to preform even better than others” in the light of my time missed. If this wasn’t alienating enough, the majority of Resident events, sponsored by recruiters and my university revolved around alcohol to which I had to give some excuse to why I can not partake with others. I’m fortunate that I do not have an addiction, because these stressful conditions along with the daunting amount of dead and requirements imposed by PRN are enough to make any addict relapse. While I was at treatment, I was in the dative with Samyr stories a physicians whose addictions got the best of them. Physicians who did not make it to treatment, often taking their own life. These stories were presented as a warning. Your addictions will kill you without our treatment was the message. When, in reality I did not hear one story in which the addiction killed physician. Every physician who didn’t make it to treatment took their life after being told they must report to a treatment facility. Perhaps they knew what this entailed and it was not their addiction or getting caught which caused them to end their lives, but the unmanageable and often unreasonable burden that treatment would put on their lives.
9 How to escape So your fucked your in PRN and should be or you should and now your recovered and want to terminated your contract.

1. You ask to be released early done at 1/2 time ( good luck)
2. You have “good reason” (no one has ever been let out of contract because of this reason, the verbiage is far too vague)
3. You serve all your time and they let you out(maybe, as discussed earlier, they would do everything they can to keep you in your contract as long as your practicing)
4. You can’t practice medicine anymore

10 Layer up butter cup : I cannot emphasize the extent to which legal help is required in this process. You much seek it and seek it early. Lawyers can provide many avenues to you early in the process. Once you have committed to treatment, gone for evaluation or are in a PRN contract , this is very little that you or legal help can do. Spend a few thousand dollars when you are accused and save the 20-30,000 later.
After you have been evaluated if you disagree as I did, then this is the process you must undergo. 1. Hire a occupation, defense, lawyer 2. Prove you don’t have an addiction, this is done by having an alternative evaluator with similar credentials state that either you don’t have an addiction or that PRN’s level of monitoring is not medically appropriate ( this will need to be a multi day neuropsychological evaluation, which will cost about $5000). 3. Your lawyer must draft in writing that the medical level of monitoring is not required such as another medical professional and send this to PRN 4. PRN will tattle on you to the board of medicine. 5. The board of medicine will conduct an investigation. 6. At the end or when they believe they have enough reasonable evidence to the board of medicine will suspend your license or claim, you must comply with the PRN contract to practice. 7. At this time your lawyer will defend you in the state court against the board. This is costly but much less than the coast of a 5 year PRN contract 8. If you win you will likely suggest an alternative level of care such as gonna get therapy every week. If you lose, than you wasted a fuck ton of money and are still bound by your PRN contract.
Overall this entire process has coast me Over all coast:
My finances for this year only including PRN and rent are as follows:
120-200$ every week for testing 480-800/ month
65 every week for therapy 195/month
125 every month for PRN group
About 50-69 every month for 2 doctor apts
So at least 745$/month at the lowest
Treatment at the recovery center coast 20,000 for me out of pocket and
I wasn’t payed for 6 months with no FMLA because I am a first year. At the 1 year mark I will have made 26,000 this year after taxes And payed About 29,000 on PRN alone
Rent is 1,000 so that’s 12,000 a year
Just in rent and PRN alone I will be at 26,000- 41,600 -15,600.
I will be in debt by at least 18,000 at the 1 year mark
Coast of treatment center 20,000 (with insurance) For each year of PRN roughly 20,000 Add that to 6 months of attending salary which was delayed due to my treatment time: at least 150,000 Layer coasts along with other evaluations 25,000 Missing 6 months of residency pay 30,000 Coast of 1 year in monitoring: 245,000 Coast of 5 years 325,000
If my case progress to a trail I will require an extra 20,000 in court coasts
Chapter 11 My secondary eval: Dr sushi After I arrived at my treatment center I challenge my evaluation multiple times. Each and every time I was discharged and often accused of alternate mental health/ substance abuse issues to discourage my advances. I was never given the opportunity to undergo alternative assessment, however PRN guidelines state that you can obtain a second option within 7 days of your first. This is a mute point, however, because you will not receive the results of your evaluation until over a week after it is conducted and the second evaluation must be conducted by another PRN hired evaluator of their choosing. During my stay in rehab I contacted PRN multiple times to attempt another evaluation/ legal help. They warned against both stating they were a “waste of money” and “pointless”.
After completing my treatment with the guidance of many addiction, experienced physicians, mental health counselors and psychiatrists recommendations I sought in a secondary evaluation. I chose a highly qualified professional with over 30 years of experience to conduct an extensive neuo psycho social evaluation of me. One that I was sure would be more extensive than the evaluation I received at treatment and more importantly an unbiased evaluation.
The results from my evaluation not only showed that I did not have a substance abuse problem warranting PRN level monitoring, but also that PRN was falling to allow adequate treatment of other conditions such as my ADHD. My evaluation showed my ADHD was not only untreated by PRNs attempt at using non controlled medication, but also in the top 3% most severe presentations of ADHD. My evaluator went on to explain my results by questioning why my treatment center even mandated I undergo neuro cognitive evaluation. The only neurodiverse findings were my IQ, my dyslexia and my ADHD. However, a neuo cognitive examination can be billed separately by treatment centers, therefore they always recommend one.
Chapter 12 Amongst its greed, intrusive nature and faulty accusations, professional recourse network function highly proficiently at the task they were designed to; protective physicians and patients from physicians who are impaired at work. In this domain they save lives, offer second changes and protect the public. When they act beyond their intended jurisdiction by imposing unnecessary monetary demands on practitionersin training, accuse practitioners without proof or act on behavior exemplified outside of a work setting they unjustly and inappropriately attack the week and innocent.
Proposed reform: As a trainee my universities malpractice insurance covers me for mistakes made at work. If a learner mistakenly harms a patient, then the university stands on their behalf. If the learner does something wrong under a teachers direct guidance, then the teacher is at fault. This makes sense logically as well as pragmatically. The state entrusts large amounts of money to hospital systems and universities to train resident physicians. A portion of this money is allocated to malpractice insurance. This should extend to accused impairment.
Suppose a training university was required to cover rehabilitation and monitoring of a resident of whom they claim is impaired. Alternatively they have the option of firing the trainee. This would reduce the number of innocent trainees being accused of impairment, make the process of rehabilitation more fair and provide a better use for tax payer derived dollars, which hospital systems are given to train residents. The truly impaired could still seek help, less false accusations would be made and with the employers having the ability to fire at the moment of impairment, there would be less chance of impairment at work.

hello! i’m planning my 21st birthday party & am a bit nervous as i’ve never planned or hosted on my own before, so i’m seeking some help!
i’ve coined myself as the “vampire princess fairy mermaid” and am planning on using that as the theme. basically, each guest shows up dressed as either a vampire, princess, fairy, or mermaid! i’m trying to figure out how to design an invitation that incorporates all four of those elements, though. that’s where i’m struggling. if anyone has any ideas of a fun or whimsical way to design invites, i’d be thankful to hear it!
i’m also looking for suggestions for cocktails based off of each element and perhaps a cute way to display them (ie: a blood bag for the vampire drink). any help is greatly appreciated! thank you in advance <3

I don’t even know how old I was when I got addicted. It started off as YouTube and I would absolutely not go on any bad websites cause I was on my dads phone plan so from what I know he could see it and I actually was above that Until I installed Reddit and then it went downhill to me using it several times a day and for months I’ve known and been wanting to quit I want a therapist but I don’t even know how I would tell someone that I know I would feel like such an idiot
And now I have the chance with a girl that I’m supposed to meet at a birthday party or something and I’m so fking scared of maybe if we start dating I’m gonna relapse and fuck it up If I were to relapse I would break up with her cause I would never do that to her even if she didn’t know I’m better than that I don’t even use porn for the feeling anymore it’s really become a habit and when I try to stop the habit THATS when I get urges and temptation gets to me I just fking need help until I get a therapist
I don’t know if it’s an addiction or if its just Highschool age habits but I just wanna fuckin stop
I’m a Christian so if y’all have anything in relation to that that can help if not I could use anything to help I’m fkn done with it I literally wake up in the morning and stay in bed for a long time cause it’s just hard to care same with working out I’m overweight and trying to fix that but I feel like im just so lazy and this is part of the reason I hate a lot about myself Just motivate me I need it

I (33f) met an amazing man (36m) via OLD right around thanksgiving. He has been quite wonderful to me. Supportive, kind, my #1 fan, Just get me in a many ways. My dad passed a little over a week ago and he had been checking in daily with me making sure I was ok..
Since we have been dating He comes to see me all the time on weekends (about half hour to an hour travel depending on travel.) He always comes to me (I live by myself) and says his grandpa and aunt live at home with him (reason why he doesn’t invite me over) and generally I’ve been fine with it.
This week is our first vaca together. He has a sober app and tracks his days of being sobriety (2 years now). Today he gave in and wanted to have a drink with me… which escalated to a few drinks
Which ended with us at a bar. Which was so fun and where he ended up confessing his love for me. And Where he confessed he actually ALSO lived with his addict mother (his addict father commited suicide when he was young), where he also gt angry and wanted to fight some college students for brushing his shoulder, and where I got angry because he wanted to show me a pic of his father but decided to quickly show me a pic of him and his ex with her child (who over a decade ago almost claimed it was his child but it was not true).
I blew up at him showing me this photo and tried to calm him down from wanting to confront some college students for grazing his shoulder.
Anyways it became a whole mess and i Uber back to the hotel without him. We were both calling each other and I couldn’t understand him but during one call he saidn”hey blondie” and some girl said hi on phone. I felt hurt.
He got very drunk and I had to Uber back to bar and come collect his very drunk self. I have been in tears
TLDR; tonight my amazing bf of 5.5 months who had been sober for 2 years had 3-4’drinks with me while on vacation told me he loved me and would marry me, confessed somethjng that was a difficult topic for him tonight and then we fought and he got soooo drunk and completely turned me off. Should I give him a second chance?

Another Free Comic Book day has passed and another Mommy would not let her kid have a free comic.
So I thought I would tell the tales of other times when similar events occurred.
This tale begins the way all the others do. With a kid that wanting a pack of the evil Pokemon cards. As soon as the girl spotted the cards the typical mad mommy face appeared and the usual quote was quoted.
"YOU DON"T NEED THAT."
Girl said that she wanted them because they were fun.
Mommy, "You keep losing them."
So I asked the kid how she loses them. Her response was that she didn't lose them, her mother always threw them out. (I believed her)
So I asked her why she kept throwing them out to which she replied that she didn't and that her kid was a scatter brain.
I responded that I hear this all the time and that the mother does throw them out. Again I asked.
Now she retorted with the "I don't like them" reason.
Then she asked her father to buy her one, but he took one look at his wife and giggled nervously, took the pack out of her hand and tossed it on my table.
So I decided to have a little more fun. I told the mommy that today was her lucky day. It was free comic book day and the kid could take a free comic from the box on the table.
"SHE DOESN"T NEED IT."
Wow even free you won't relent. I asked the father what he thought. More nervous giggling. (Get a pair sir.) Girl thanked me for trying and mommy yelled at her for wasting her time. Mommy grabbed her by the arm so she couldn't take a book.
​
Another fine parent said that she wasn't going to waste her money on this shit. I informed her that her kid could take as many of the free books from the display so she didn't have to spend a dime on the kid.
Rather than thanking me, she said that was even worse.
I basically asked her WTF (without cursing) that meant.
The kid stated that she hated that he liked comics and always was looking for an excuse not to buy them for him and I took that excuse away. As he was saying this she walked away and yelled at him to move along.
​
The worst and funniest one I had was when the father and son were selecting a few age appropriate books. The mommy saw this and pulled the books out of the kids hand, yelled at the father, "I SAID NO" shredded them and slammed the pieces on the floor.
The father looked at her and stated that he said yes and the kid could have them.
She went wide eyed and yelled back for him not to defy her.
He walked back to my stand, apologized, and asked if he could have a few more. All the while she was screaming that he better not do it.
Of course I said yes and recommended that he hold on to them.
All the way down this aisle she tried to grab them. Then about halfway down he finally had enough and yelled "WTF is your problem??" and to knock it off. She didn't.
​
About 15 years ago, I had to close my account with my distributor and the last time I officially did the giveaway I counted the number of parents that did this. I usually did this for the month of May as keeping the books was taking up space.
I did two markets at that time, one in PA and the other in NY.
I had 48 parents that would not let the kids have free books. 45 were the mother, 2 of the fathers blamed the mother and the third was like the guy in the first incident.
​
One of the markets I used to do had a Halloween party every year. So instead of giving away candy I would give a kid a free book. Most parents did let the kid have them except for one.
When I told them the giveaway when the kid did "Trick or treat" she stated that the kid wanted candy.
Kid stated that he wanted a comic. That was better.
She told the kid. "No, you want candy"
Kid. "No, I want this."
Mother, (Well you get the picture.)
Kid. "No you want candy. Every year you steal my candy.
Mother got mad and told the kid that now he wasn't getting anything. We both knew that anyway. So he took a freebie and thanked me and the mother told me that I should be giving candy because that's what the kids really want.
​
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Ove the last few months I've been doing some work to try and understand the extreme anxiety I have been experiencing which is 9/10 triggered between dates.
This is less about her and more about me and my neediness, past traumas catching up to me, hypervigilance to any small sign of a potential drop in attraction etc. That being said she is not the most needy or expressive girl I've ever dated. Before anyone immediately assumes that's some sign of a lack of attraction or an indicator of low interest - I have experienced girlfriends who are needy and will constantly love bomb and be in contact expressing their undying love for you, right up until they put their phone down to cheat on you with the guy they invited over behind your back... so no, i dont think measuring texts is a wise way of measuring their interest....yes, I'm sure I have trust issues, yes this has affected my ability to stay calm and relaxed. But the point I'm trying to make is that this isn't about HER making me uncomfortable. It's MY anxiety at play and I'm trying to sort through that.
9/10 when I have shared a text exchange I've had with her to someone familiar with ccw they tell me I must be confused because her messages are anything but dry, she is the one reaching out 9/10, she is the one pushing to see me 8/10 and inviting herself over. But there are uncertainties surrounding the relationship (as is totally normal to some degree, you never have full certainty) which seem to be amplified in my head when she is taking longer to respond, seeming a bit more dry, being even just slightly less affectionate in return to something I've said etc.
By this point, the subject of the anxiety is probably at question... it's fundamentally all revolving around texting. I'll be totally fine after we have seen eachother and then she reaches out and my brain does backflips trying to decode the meaning of her messages, what does she want? Did I say enough? Did I say too little? Is she losing interest? Is this all just a lie? Why does she seem so disinterested/sure of herself?
I can't read the tone, I can't see her facial expressions - and I always have the awareness in my mind that I might say something and not get a response for hours and sometimes it's even been days (unless I'm asking a specific question), in which case I just keep matching and mirroring and sometimes being spontaneous too. If I sense low effort I back off... if I sense her wanting my attention and validation I give a little and then try close the conversation. I know this is where I'm supposed to set a date or invite her over but experience with her has told me that she is not necessarily trying to make immediate plans by reaching out and we have a bit of a pattern where I tend to make more legitimate dates and she invites herself over during the week after work so I don't think I'm "missing an opportunity" or something. I think she just wants some of my presence in these moments.
There seems to be no clean etiquette around texting... you can "end" an exchange but there are no rules about how to end it, how to restart it, who should be restarting it etc. I really despise the pressure cooker that is texting. When we are together things are really good.... and then bam! Texts come and I'm back to this state of mind. Every text feels like a loaded gun in which I may miss or hit the target. If I don't respond, I have the NEED to respond in the back of my head, or following me like a dark shadow. If I haven't received a response I go into fight or flight panic mode waiting for a truck to hit me. It's so over the top.
I know this is extreme overthinking but that is where I am at. Let me try give an example of an anxiety inducing episode I'm experiencing now:
She messages, I message back, we make plans for weekend, she says something playful, I tell her something playful but sweet, she responds with a playful and sweet message (no questions or clear indication it requires a response) and it's late at night.... so I think to myself "ill respond tomorrow"
Tomorrow was yesterday and I realised I just have no energy to say anything in return... the more time went by the less natural a response would have seemed, then I thought maybe I could send her something else random if I came across it just so she doesn't feel "ignored" but I never came across anything not did I feel like it. I just had nothing and no energy to text her back.... it stresses me out feeling as if I'm being cold or that she might stubbornly get butt hurt by this. But what's crazy is that she has initiated silence like this before and it sends me spinning out.
Guys this sounds crazy enough, I am aware that this is ridiculous, that I'm supposed to not even have the energy or time to focus on shit like this but that's why I'm calling it anxiety and not just fear, it's totally irrational and overwhelming - I'm not stupid, or ill informed - just possessed by these thoughts and feelings that something must be resolved so I can relax again.
I guess if I had to turn this post into some questions they would be:
Is it fair of me to not want to text? Is it okay to be the one who goes quiet and non responsive or should we always leave the ball in their court? Am I doing the right thing by not forcing myself to keep communication going despite being overwhelmed? Should I focus solely on our time together?
What are some blind spots I might be missing due to my confusion/exhaustion? What standa out from what I've said?
EDIT: I forgot to add that sometimes I also just feel like I need space to get my head right or focus on other things going on in my life - and I just don't have the energy to keep making sure I'm saying enough/just enough/being attractive enough/not missing cues etc.... it is totally draining me and I don't understand why?

My name is Helen, my friend is Hetty and we are both in our 50s. I have a daughter who lives abroad and Hetty has a son who works abroad and a daughter Shona, who is married and lives locally, and who is having a baby very soon. I don’t socialise with Shona, in fact, I very rarely see her, we send birthday cards, and buy each other small gifts. I have always found Shona to be difficult, she is fickle, and always seems to be at odds with someone in her circle of friends. Hetty and her husband, recently bought a new house and invited me and my husband Fran to her housewarming/ barbecue. When Shona arrived at the party with her husband, she said hello to the other guests but barely looked at me and my husband. I was a bit taken aback, but I know she can be difficult, so I ignored it. My husband and I only had a couple of drinks as we were going out early the next day. We stayed mostly in the house, Hetty and her husband mingled and Shona and her husband stayed mostly in the garden. My husband went up stairs to use the bathroom when the incident happened, I was at the sink in the kitchen rinsing some glasses, Hetty and Shona were outside the in the garden when Hetty said to her daughter “ you must ask Helen to your barbecue next week, Fran is working away, you have asked the others, so you can’t leave her out” Shona responded, “I will not be inviting her to my house” I couldn’t believe what I had just heard, before I heard what Hetty’s response was, my mobile started ringing so I had to move away from the window. When my husband came down the stairs, I told him what I had heard, but told him not to say anything. I made my excuses to Hetty, we said goodbye to the other guests, waved to Shona, and made our way home. I have gone over what Shona said, many times and I don’t know why she would say such a thing. As I said before, she can be difficult, but that was beyond rude. I have spoken to Hetty once since that night last week. She knows that something isn’t right, but I don’t know whether she knows, that I heard what was said. How can I carry on as normal with this friendship, after this? If I broach the subject, Hetty will defend her daughter as she has done in the past, even though she knows she has been at fault, and then it will turn into an argument. What do I do now?

(continuation of part 2)
III. e) The Mobius FF x FFVII collaboration
Alright, back to our suspension world-hopping! Let’s visit the realm of Mobius FF, —more specifically, the collaboration between Mobius FF and FFVII—, where I found the most substantial evidence for my theory.
In case you’re unfamiliar with the Mobius FF (MFF) world and games, let’s begin with a bit of a summary of the parts relevant to us. The story takes place in a world called Palamecia, to which people from other worlds are inexplicably summoned. The vast majority of those who are brought there don’t remember anything from their worlds of origin or their lives before Palamecia except their names: these amnesiac people are called Blanks. The main character is Wol, accompanied by a guiding fairy of Palamecia named Echo. Echo knows a lot about the mechanisms of Palamecia, as she’s tied to the realm. The leader of this world is Vox, a being who manifests only as a voice. The first thing all Blanks remember before they wake in Palamecia is Vox telling them the rules of the realm. Incidentally, the crystals of the MFF world are teleportation crystals.
III. e) i. Devs’ Statements
Let’s review some of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration devs’ statements before diving into its story.
For both the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration and the Remake project, Kitase took on the role of producer while Nojima supervised the screenplay and wrote the scenario. The project leader was none other than the Remake trilogy’s Hamaguchi, who told a SE interviewer the following:

“We would love for you to play the [MFF x FFVII] collaboration event as you look forward to [Remake’s] release” (“Celebration of the Overseas Release of the Steam Version and FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE Collaboration Event”, Square Enix).

He later hints at the collaboration’s storyline:

“This collaboration is focused on Cloud, so the other characters will not make an appearance. Players will join Cloud, who has gone astray in Palamecia, on his adventures and see how the story unfolds based on his decisions. Content-wise, FINAL FANTASY VII fans will surely become fraught with emotion as events unfold in-game (laughs).”

Kitase concurs on the emotional aspect of the collaboration in the same interview:

“When it comes to the story, I seek two things– ‘mystery’ and ‘[…] emotional impact’.”

Clearly, fans of FFVII are supposed to react emotionally to the events of the collaboration. With these statements in mind to give us perspective, we can get into the plot points relevant to our analysis. MFF x FFVII Remake comes in two parts, the relevant plot points of which I will describe and analyze one at a time.
III. e) ii. Eclipse Contact
1) Fact-Finding
Part one of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration event is called Eclipse Contact. It came out in 2017 on Aerith’s birthday, February 7th, and its release campaign ran until March. In Eclipse Contact, Palamecia welcomes someone new: Cloud Strife appears in the realm with very little recollection of his core world of FFVII.
Cloud isn’t a Blank, since he recalls the mako reactors in Midgar upon his arrival in Palamecia, and also remembers that he was hired by Avalanche to blow them up:

“Echo: How did you end up in Palamecia?

Cloud: I… That day... I remember now. A job. I had taken a job. I was hired muscle protecting clients. They wanted to stop the reactor... We used a train to get past security... Was it at night? Something happened... Next thing I knew, I was floating through darkness. Then [I woke up here]”.

This piece of dialogue reveals that Eclipse Contact Cloud’s memories end at the very moment when Avalanche arrives at reactor 1 in OG (disk 1, chapter 1): the very beginning of the game. Consequently, Cloud does not remember anything that happened from the beginning of the OG timeline onwards.
Wol and Echo are intrigued by Cloud’s strange case: non-Blanks rarely arrive in Palamecia. The following text appears on the screen shortly after they meet:

“Perhaps he is not truly who he thinks he is.
Perhaps everything is illusory, a dream.
Only one thing is certain, that he must press on, one step at a time, toward the light that shines from the promised land.”

Just like he did in FFT’s Ivalice, Cloud feels the need to find the Promised Land in MFF x FFVII, despite the fact that he lacks memories of the OG timeline. Though Cloud doesn’t remember anything beyond the train ride to reactor 1, he does remember the Promised Land (at least somewhat). This is odd, given that in OG, Cloud didn’t learn about the Promised Land until several chapters into the game.
Wol and Echo agree to help Cloud figure out why he’s here, since there’s clearly something strange going on with his presence in Palamecia. In fact, Cloud brought Midgar’s mako reactors with him somehow, transplanting them onto the landscape of Palamecia. The group decides to bomb these reactors, following Cloud’s instincts in the hopes that it will jog his memory.
Now for my favorite part. After blowing up another reactor, the group is surprised by the appearance of a crystal. A piano rendition of Aerith’s theme begins. When Wol tries to touch the crystal, something akin to a force field rejects him. When Cloud approaches it, however, the crystal responds to his hand by flashing with light. As it begins to glow, Wol concludes that the crystal is linked to Cloud and Cloud alone. Let’s examine the resulting dialogue:

“Echo: This is the light in your memories. The light of home.

Cloud: Home? But I don’t—

Echo: If you don't remember… then your home is lost to you.

Cloud: Then my memories are gone.

Wol: Do you want to reclaim your past?

Cloud: Not interested... I am what I am now. Not what I was.

Wol: Then tell me… This light. If you can’t remember it, what does it mean to you?

Cloud: It's a warm light... I feel at peace. If this place —home— is as warm and peaceful as this light, then I want to go there.

Echo: You can't go there... Not back to the past.

Cloud: I see.

Echo: But even if you can't go back to the past, you can go forward. If you wish for it strongly enough, the crystal will show you the way. The way to a new world. The way to your Promised Land. […]

Cloud: So... Should [I] take [my] chances and make a wish to this crystal?

Wol: Go ahead. It’s your crystal.

Echo: I should warn you that once you start on this journey, there's no coming back.

Cloud: The past is the past. I want to go to a place where everything is new. I’m ready.“

What follows is a moment I call the wishing scene (13:43-14:34). Cloud closes his eyes and wishes on the crystal. It flashes, and suddenly, rainbow-colored ripples of light appear around it. Aerith’s theme is replaced by a slightly modified version of “Midgar, City of Mako”, the track that plays during the opening cutscene of Remake. You can recreate the modification by listening to “Midgar, City of Mako” from 2:00 to 2:23, then skipping to 3:00 and listening until 3:18. You may recognize the musical motif that kicks off the wishing scene as the Lifestream motif, which has become symbolic of the mysteries of the Remake trilogy, as it often plays during scenes where unexplainable plot deviations from OG occur— more specifically, deviations involving multiverse shenanigans. For instance, it plays during MOTF 4. It also plays in Rebirth after Cloud blocks masamune as Aerith is shown dying anyway.
Cloud disappears with his crystal, after which Echo speaks to Wol about Cloud’s journey:

“Echo: Each person gets the Promised Land they justly deserve, not the one they really need. If you’re a bad person, you go to a bad place. If you expect nothing, you get nothing. Even the journey there makes you look deep within yourself to find out who you really are. Cloud should be facing his own past as we speak. It’s cruel, but necessary. That battle was a long time coming”.

Apparently, at least in the context of this collaboration event, the Promised Land can be a reward or a punishment, depending on which you deserve. Echo explains that Cloud will have to face himself and his past on his way to his Promised Land. This means that the Cloud that appears in Eclipse Contact must next embark on a journey that will confront him with his past, test his mettle, and ultimately lead him to the Promised Land he justly deserves.
III. e) ii. 2) Fact Analysis
There’s a lot of vital information to dig into here, mostly provided by Echo. She claims that the crystal’s light is linked to Cloud’s memories of home; Cloud has to have known this home in the past, as it could not otherwise exist in his memories. MFF Cloud must be a post-OG Cloud. Unfortunately, Echo indicates that whatever Cloud’s home is, he’s lost both it and his memories of it. Despite this, Cloud describes his home as warm and peaceful, concluding that he wishes to find it. Though Cloud can’t return to the past, Echo tells him that if he wishes it strongly enough, the crystal can guide him toward a new world, where his home and his Promised Land exist in the future. The fact that Aerith’s theme is playing all throughout these descriptions of Cloud’s lost home, his Promised Land and the past that he can’t return to makes it extremely obvious that these concepts all point to Aerith. Aerith is Cloud’s lost home. Wherever Aerith is, that’s his Promised Land. The time spent with Aerith before her loss is the past he tragically can’t return to. You might have clocked the similarities between Eclipse Contact’s mention of Cloud’s lost home and DFF’s mention of Cloud’s lost dream: in both these titles, Cloud’s home and dream are equivalent to his Promised Land. It’s confirmed yet again that Aerith is the one Cloud hopes to return to, just like every soul returns to the Lifestream. At this juncture of my research, I was curious as to why the last thing Cloud remembers before waking in Palamecia is the run-up to the Reactor 1 bombing mission in OG (disk 1, chapter 1). This mystery will have to persist for a while longer.
The alarm bells in your head might’ve been triggered by the mention of the wishing scene’s rainbow ripple effects— and rightfully so. This visual cue has sparked passionate debate in the fandom since its appearances in Rebirth, as seen in these pictures:
Zack Choosing To Get A Cure For Cloud, Rebirth Chapter 14; Creating a New World/Timeline
Aerith Pushing Cloud Out of that World/Timeline, Remake Chapter 14
Cloud Blocking Masamune, Rebirth Chapter 14; Creating New World/Timeline
You might have read or heard that this rainbow effect signifies that a character has entered another timeline, created a portal to another timeline, created a new timeline or is being shown different timelines. Indeed, whenever the OG timeline is deviated from in a significant way, this effect appears. The pictures above present multiple examples of these shifting realities.
One might propose that the rainbow ripples in Eclipse Contact and Rebirth are unrelated because of the long period between their respective release dates. This long in-between period indeed makes it likelier that the effect was used without forethought in Eclipse Contact, forgotten over the years, and incidentally reused in Rebirth as a plot-important visual cue with no connection to Eclipse Contact. I’m inclined to disagree since the crystal is specifically described as a vessel that can take Cloud “to a new world” by Echo, which is a bit on the nose. Regardless, it’s plausible that there’s no connection. That is, it would be, if the rainbow effect didn’t show up in Remake too.
When the Whispers are finally defeated in chapter 18 of Remake, a burst of the rainbow ripple effects indicate the emergence of multiple worlds, newly freed from the restrictive clutches of fate (1:16:36-1:16:47). Shortly thereafter, Sephiroth takes Cloud to the Edge of Creation and invites him to join forces with him. Cloud refuses, and Sephiroth says the following:

“Seven seconds till the end. Time enough for you. Perhaps. But what will you do with it? Let's see.”

The question “What will you do with it?” implies that the answer is unknown, meaning Cloud is no longer bound to the OG timeline by fate: many alternate futures lay ahead. Sephiroth is telling Cloud and the audience that now, the mystery of the Remake trilogy has become “Which future will Cloud bring into existence? Which among the infinite possible timelines will his choices result in?” After pondering this aloud, Sephiroth leaves Cloud alone to consider the rainbow effects in the sky (1:19:23-1:19:36). Because they generally represent alternate or changing timelines, it’s safe to assume that the rainbow ripples here represent the myriad of possible worlds that Cloud’s actions in those seven seconds could generate. After all, Sephiroth was just talking about them, and chapter 18’s description in Remake reads as follows:

“In a world beyond, Sephiroth shows Cloud a vision of the planet seven seconds before its demise. Having strayed from the course destiny set for them, they strike out on a path towards an unknown future."

This explains why the player is shown Cloud staring at those colors in the apocalyptic sky at world’s end, directly after hearing Sephiroth’s cryptic words: those are all the alternate “unknown future” timelines ahead of him, now unravelled from fate. Amongst those rainbow ripples lies the answer to the question “What will you do with [the seven seconds]?”
Given that Remake was released in 2020 and Eclipse Contact came out in 2017, the major story elements of the Remake trilogy —including the eventuality of alternate timelines— had to have been planned out at the time of Eclipse Contact’s release: while the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration was being made, Remake was also in production. Also recall that the collaboration event and the Remake trilogy share a codirector in Hamaguchi, a writer in Nojima and a producer in Kitase. Based on all this, it’s more than likely that the rainbow ripples in the Remake trilogy and inEclipse Contact represent the very same thing: alternate worlds and timelines. All this to say that when the rainbow effect appears around the crystal in the Eclipse Contact, it means the crystal is acting as a vessel to another world, just like Echo said.
But that’s not all Echo said: she also mentioned that this other world would take Cloud to his home, to his Promised Land. We’ve already established what that means for Cloud, what it’s meant since two whole decades at the time of Eclipse Contact’s release: this crystal will take Cloud to Aerith. So, where exactly did the crystal take Cloud? In what world can he meet Aerith again?
The music that plays during the wishing scene gives us a huge hint. As I noted before, the track playing in the background is a slightly modified version of Remake’s “Midgar, City of Mako”, which plays in the introduction cutscene of Remake. This is a musical cue that the ending of Cloud’s journey in Eclipse Contact and the very beginning of the Remake trilogy are closely related. Add the fact that the devs wanted players to experience this collaboration event before playing Remake, and it becomes undeniable: the crystal that appeared to Cloud in Palamecia —which offers to lead him to his home and Promised Land, meaning to Aerith—, took him to the world of the Remaketrilogy.
Eclipse Contact is huge. The whole crux of my theory lives and dies right here. However, we still have part two of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration event to analyze as well as its promotions to look into before I can drop the thesis on you, so bear with me in order to receive the most thorough analysis of all this possible! I want to give you every drop of proof I can!
III. e) ii. MFF x FFVII Remake Fatal Calling
1) Fact-Finding
Fatal Calling came out February 1 of 2018, and its release campaign ended in March. The game opens with a cutscene: Cloud is floating, seemingly unconscious, through a sparkling, green current of light. The current flows into a circle of bright, white light, surrounded by rainbow ripple effects as Cloud is driven toward and into it. An orb floats along with him. The Advent Children theme “The Promised Land” plays, a choir of mournful, aching, mutedly desperate souls engaged in a lamenting prayer. Sephiroth’s voice echoes:

“Sephiroth: It’s time. You may turn your back on the past, lock your memories away. Hide reality beneath a layer of illusion. But destiny will not die so easily. Yes. At memory’s end you may plead for it all to go away. But the past is a curse, binding your soul. It’s time. Wake to your fate. Rise to your destiny.

Cloud: (In a half-conscious grunt) Reunion…

Sephiroth: The light will lead you. Wake to your fate. Rise!”

Sephiroth’s mentions of Cloud hiding under an illusion and repressing his memories are no doubt allusions to Cloud’s past, which was complicated and darkened by Hojo’s experiments. It makes sense, then, that Cloud responds with “Reunion”. Fatal Calling indeed focuses on Cloud’s relationship to his past, his identity and Sephiroth. Everything involving Nibelheim —where everything started—, Sephiroth’s manipulation, and Hojo’s experiments are on the table. Also noteworthy if not out of place is Sephiroth’s evocation of fate.
Cloud enters a battle with Sephiroth with the help of Wol and Echo, who are surprised to see him back in Palamecia. Cloud tells them about the orb seen floating along with him in the opening cutscene: though he calls it a materia, he doesn’t know how or when he acquired it. Based on his behavior, it appears that Cloud remembers just as little about the events of OG as he did by the end of Eclipse Contact. Wol informs Cloud that whoever he heard speaking to him on his way here was probably Vox pretending to be Sephiroth.
As the group advances, Cloud recalls Midgar and decides they should go there next. At one of Midgar’s mako reactors, the group encounters Sephiroth, who speaks to himself:

“It's still not enough. This... this is but a pale imitation of the power I desire.”

Once Sephiroth has disappeared, Cloud explains what he remembers: Sephiroth was the greatest SOLDIER of all and a hero to Cloud, though Cloud can’t remember what exactly ended this admiration. As players of FFVII OG, we know the event in question is the Nibelheim incident, wherein Sephiroth slaughtered the town’s residents, including Cloud’s mother, after learning of his past. The former war hero also severely injured Tifa, whom Cloud presumed dead when he found her in the old mako reactor with a vicious slash on her chest. Cloud is agitated by the gaps in his memory, so the group resolves to follow Sephiroth for answers. When they find him again, Sephiroth causes Cloud to experience a piercing headache with the mere mention of the Reunion. They fight, but Sephiroth is too powerful— he skewers Cloud with the masamune and taunts his unconscious body:

“Sephiroth: A puppet. I won’t kill you. Not yet. Not until you know true despair.
Wol: If you want despair, we got plenty to go around. Palamecia’s full of it.
Sephiroth: Yes, this planet knows suffering. But it is not the world that was promised to me. I must go home. Tell Cloud, if he wants to see me again, he should face his memories. I will await him there, in the land of memory, where it all began. In Nibelheim.”

Sephiroth darkens Cloud’s materia, turning it black. Later, Wol explains to Cloud that Sephiroth stole the light from his materia, taking Cloud’s strength along with it.
Once Cloud has woken up, the group travels to Nibelheim to uncover the truth about Cloud’s memories. Cloud slowly gathers pieces of his past, shown to the player as titled, diary-like text written from various perspectives. Cloud learns the truth about SOLDIER, Jenova cells, Sephiroth, and what happened in Nibelheim. Let’s examine a few of these diary entries:

“A Warrior’s Tale: There's a girl in Nibelheim I think about. Warm. Cheerful. More grown-up than a child. Haven't talked to her much, but she seems nice. She's going to be leading the SOLDIERs to the mountain reactor. Maybe if I get into the survey team I'll get a chance to talk to her? Nah. She's out of my league.”

Young Cloud’s crush on Tifa is on full display! This must be a memory from his time as an infantryman accompanying Zack and Sephiroth to Nibelheim.

“Tale of the Nameless: I drift along in the mako, asleep. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Give me a number. I… I… I am… The Reunion. The Reunion must happen.”

This entry could be taken from any one of the Nibelheim survivors’ perspectives, as they were all bathed in mako and turned into Sephiroth clones. I would venture to say this is Cloud’s perspective though, given the reference to this iconic line from OG:

“Cloud: Professor... please give me a number. Please, Professor...
Hojo: Shut up, miserable failure.” (disk 2, chapter 2).

The trio encounters Sephiroth near the old Mt. Nibel mako reactor. Because Sephiroth stole the light from his materia earlier, Cloud goes into the confrontation already drained of his strength. However, when Cloud lifts the materia in his hand, it lights up and creates rainbow ripples in the air around him, similar to those seen in Eclipse Contact and Rebirth. Cloud is healed of his injuries: he closes his eyes for a moment, wearing a peaceful expression. Sephiroth is displeased, but recovers quickly:

“Sephiroth: The guiding light… it healed you.

Wol: […] here, near the mako reactor, the materia regained its light. And your strength returned […]. [Sephiroth]’s here so he can steal the power you've stored inside that materia.

Sephiroth, with a short laugh: I have all the power I need. Cloud. What strength you’ve regained is yours. Use it to fight me. It’s time. Let’s decide this, in this land lost to despair. The prize is home. The Promised Land. There to answer the call of destiny.”

With this second evocation of fate, Sephiroth disappears.
Cloud, Wol and Echo find Sephiroth at the Northern Crater. He mocks Cloud for believing the orb in his possession is materia. Sephiroth waves a hand and his signature black and purple fog surrounds Cloud, immobilizing him. Sephiroth claims that the power Cloud regained at the Mt. Nibel reactor was Sephiroth’s all along. Now that it courses through Cloud’s veins, Sephiroth controls him. He calls Cloud his puppet and finishes with the following before the two vanish, leaving Wol and Echo alone:

“Now, let us return. Back to the Promised Land. The time of the Reunion has come.”

After Cloud finally breaks free and defeats Sephiroth with the help of Wol and Echo, the villain makes a final threat:

“Very good, Cloud. You’ve destroyed an illusion. But the time will come to abandon your illusions and face reality. Then, you will know true pain.”

Sephiroth disappears for the last time, his body surrounded by his signature dark fog and the rainbow ripples. A piano rendition of Tifa’s theme begins. Cloud’s orb rises into the air and becomes a crystal, with the same shape and glow as the one we see in Eclipse Contact. The following dialogue is illuminating:

“Cloud: I will fight. The light will lead me where I need to go.

Wol: You sure? Wasn’t that [crystal] Sephiroth’s?

Cloud: I heard Sephiroth's voice, at the end. Inside me. Whatever he put in me, it’s still in there. Someday I’ll settle that score. If I can't avoid destiny, I might as well face it head-on.

Wol: Yeah. That was quite a speech, Cloud. Surprised you made it through without laughing.

Cloud: Yeah, forget I said it. I will too.

Echo: Forgetting won’t make it go away. Even if the words fade from memory, your dream will never disappear. Not until it becomes real.“

The crystal shines as though in response.

“Echo: See? See, that's how the light of hope works. Hope can turn your dreams into reality.

Cloud: Yeah. I guess so. I might forget this world, but I won’t forget hope. And my reality, that’s for me to live.”

Tifa’s theme ends. Cloud approaches the crystal, and disappears in a beam of blinding light. Once Cloud has vanished with the crystal, Aerith’s theme begins playing. A few pale feathers with a slight orange tint (the color of MFF) float down onto the floor where he stood seconds before. The image fades to black. The credits roll, and Aerith’s theme continues all the way through.
Once both the final name in the credits and Aerith’s theme fade, we’re surprised by a sudden, troubling image: Sephiroth appears in a frightening flash, standing amidst the flames of Nibelheim. When his image fades to black, the collaboration title *“Final Fantasy VII x Mobius Final Fantasy”*appears on the screen. The FFVII title is surrounded by the 1997 meteor logo. Then, a flash of light: the titles reappear, except this time, they read “Final Fantasy VII REMAKE x Mobius Final Fantasy”. The new Remake Meteor logo replaces the 1997 version. As soon as these changes to the FFVIItitle and meteor logo occur, Aerith’s theme returns. It plays on until the game ends a few seconds later, the screen fading to black.
III. e) ii. 2) Fact Analysis
The introduction cutscene shows that MFF Cloud travelled from Eclipse Contact to Fatal Calling via Lifestream. It’s unclear how much time has passed in between, but the atemporal nature of the Lifestream makes the question irrelevant. My theory that MFF Cloud has died is corroborated by the way he’s depicted in the opening cutscene: his eyes are closed and his body is limp as the Lifestream carries him.
Eclipse Contact ended with Echo’s claim that Cloud will face his true self and confront his past while he journeys to his Promised Land. This description resembles what Cloud experienced in the OG Lifestream sequence (disk 2, chapter 8). Indeed, Fatal Calling revolves around the same topics the Lifestream sequence addresses: the truth about the Nibelheim incident, Hojo’s experiments, young Cloud’s crush on Tifa, etc. The opening cutscene shows Cloud being transported to his Promised Land and facing his past on the way there, just like Echo said he would.
Let’s now take a long detour to examine the song that plays during the opening cutscene of Fatal Calling: “The Promised Land” theme from Advent Children. The title and general subject of this song are obviously relevant to the cutscene, but there must be more to its inclusion than that. Perhaps the lyrics can help us understand its appearance in the opening cutscene of Fatal Calling. Here are the unofficial English lyrics (translated from the original Japanese lyrics by an anonymous fan and verified by me via DeepL):

“Why do we cling together?
Why do we give punishment to lesser hearts?
The planet did not forgive us
Did not forgive us
The planet did not forgive us
Did not forgive us
The pulse of veins flows through the earth
A faint, faint pulse
Of a heart drawn to death
A gentle life returns to the planet
Is it necessary to sacrifice souls?
Why do we cling together?
Why do we beg for forgiveness
In the Promised Land?” (“‘The Promised Land’ (theme)” by Final Fantasy Wiki).

The song appears to be a regretful lament of human behavior, expressed by the repetition of “Why do we […]?” questions. The behaviors listed are all typically human ones: the terms “[clinging] together” and “[giving] punishment to [the] lesser” express the uniquely human nature of tribalism and the consequences of the fear and hatred it can generate, and “[begging] for forgiveness in the Promised Land” is likely a reference to the human hypocrisy of only feeling sorry for one’s crimes when judgement day arrives. This last line describes a scenario where someone remains passive or ignorant in the face of something important, only to realize its essentiality once it’s too late. The repeated“The planet did not forgive us” lines reflect the fear of being condemned forever because of one’s mistakes, as though the planet is a deity one has sinned against. The lyric describing a pulse in the earth is obviously about the planet being alive— a reference to the Lifestream. But the pulse is faint and weak and the planet is dying, perishing because of mankind’s greed. This is an indictment of mako energy. The line “A gentle life returns to the planet” refers to an innocent’s soul returning to the Lifestream after death, while the next lyric “Is it necessary to sacrifice souls?” protests the “sacrifice” of the planet’s soul energy for mako production. In all this darkness, this song’s mention of “forgiveness in the Promised Land” leaves a modicum of hope for a better place, however meek, even though mankind might not deserve it. The song “The Promised Land” is both a lament of mankind’s ways and a plea for mercy, with religious and/or spiritual undertones. The song’s themes seem to be: the Promised Land itself, regret and shame, the sins and foolishness of mankind, the death of innocents, grief, Cetra spirituality, and a meek, quiet hope despite it all. The most interesting aspect of the song is its antithetical portrayal of death as a thing of both despair and hope, condemnation and salvation, cruelty and mercy, suffering and relief. Maybe we can glean more information about this theme’s significance in the world of FFVII if we examine the contexts in which it appears.
Importantly, the song plays in Marlene’s introductory narration of Advent Children, meaning its themes are related or similar to the film’s. I highly recommend listening and watching it again, even if you remember this iconic segment. Marlene references Aerith’s sacrifice as the image of Cloud lowering her into the water is shown. Note that Marlene says “Sadness was the price to see it end” (2:36) after we are shown Aerith’s death and her subsequent unleashing of the Lifestream (1:49-2:24): Aerith’s innocent life was sacrificed for the planet’s survival. The lyrics “A gentle life returns to the planet” and “Is it necessary to sacrifice souls?” suit Aerith’s situation quite well.
The theme also plays in Advent Children as Kadaj dies in Cloud’s arms (1:45:00-1:47:55), hearing Aerith’s gentle voice and reaching up to take her invisible hand. Here is what Aerith says to him in his dying moments as “The Promised Land” plays:

“Aerith’s voice: Kadaj?
Kadaj: Huh?
The dark sky has gone with Sephiroth. Healing rain starts falling from bright clouds. The rain no longer hurts Kadaj.
Aerith’s voice: You don’t have to hang on any longer.
Kadaj: Mother! Is that…?
Aerith’s voice: Everyone’s waiting, if you’re ready.
Kadaj nods his head slightly in acceptance. He holds out his hand, and slowly evaporates into the Lifestream. Cloud watches […]” (Advent Children).

Kadaj is brought into the Lifestream by Aerith as she provides rain from the Lifestream. All those with geostigma are healed by the rain, and Tifa feels Aerith’s presence as the party celebrates:

“Tifa, looking out at the falling rain […]: Somehow, I knew you were there. Thank you” (Advent Children).

Cloud stands in the rain with a smile —his first in the whole film—, closes his eyes and basks in Aerith’s healing with his face upturned. He is finally at peace:

“Cloud’s expression is one of peace as the [Lifestream] rain patters against him” (Final Fantasy VII Advent Children English script, “[83] Atop the Shinra Building”).

One thing is clear: the track “The Promised Land” accompanies Aerith. It only makes sense, since we’ve seen overwhelming evidence that she is Cloud’s Promised Land, and since she occupies the Lifestream —which some consider the Promised Land as it is where souls go after death— during the events of Advent Children. Note that when the piece plays, Cloud is shown either mourning Aerith and releasing her into the river at the Cetra capital, or basking in her presence, smiling with relief at the peaceful feeling that she’s somewhere near: these two opposing scenes reflect the song’s antithetical portrayal of death.
Additionally, the song’s themes of regret, shame concerning one’s sins and a small hope perfectly describe Cloud’s character arc and feelings in Advent Children. Cloud regrets his inability to save Aerith, which he considers a sin. Further, he only realized how important she is to him once it was too late to tell her. And of course, he harbors a fragile yet important hope that he’ll be reunited with her in the Promised Land:

“‘Can sins ever be forgiven?’ — Cloud asks this to Vincent, who mutters a brief answer. For both of them, ‘I couldn't protect my loved one’ is the sense of guilt that they carry, so their words resonate with weight” (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Revised Edition, “Chapter 2: Character in FFVIIWorld”, “Vincent Valentine”, “In Advent Children”, page 72).

&

"’It is my sin that I couldn't protect my loved one’ — under this assumption, Cloud closes off his heart. What will the reunion with Aerith bring him? ‘I... think I want to be forgiven. Yeah, I just want to be forgiven’” (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Revised Edition, “Chapter 2: Character in FFVIIWorld”, “Cloud Strife”, “In Advent Children”, page 40).

&

“Cloud, after seeing Aerith’s hand reach for him through the Lifestream: … I think I'm beginning to understand.
Tifa: What?

Cloud: An answer from the Planet… the Promised Land... I think I can meet her... there” (disk 3, chapter 3).

Just as the song and Marlene express in the introduction of the film, Aerith was innocent, and her sacrifice generated great grief. Cloud finally experiences peace when he feels her presence in the healing rain, and he smiles: he’s glad to be with her again, even if it’s only for a brief moment of tangential respite.
The scene depicts Aerith guiding Kadaj into the Lifestream as the song plays, tying her to the concept and theme song of the Promised Land once more. This connection is later solidified by Tifa’s thanks to the late flower girl. All of this evidence shows us that this musical theme is intimately linked to Aerith, as it never plays in her absence. After all, the song speaks of sins, the death of innocents, forgiveness, grief, a small sense of hope, regret and the afterlife: all themes relevant to Cloud’s feelings surrounding Aerith’s death in and outside of Advent Children.
The Remake OST also includes a version of this piece called “The Promised Land - Cycle of Life”. This iteration of the theme begins playing in the wake of the first bombing mission, right after Sephiroth taunts Cloud with his mother’s dying words in Sector 8 (chapter 2). Sephiroth appears to Cloud surrounded by flames, evoking the Nibelheim massacre, and the theme begins playing in the background once he disappears, continuing (13:17-15:30) as Cloud walks through the sector, encountering fires and destruction all around him. This version of the Promised Land theme is meant to emphasize the deaths of the innocent Nibelheim townsfolk and the innocents in Sector 8. This dreadful atmosphere is amplified by the cries of despair that ring all around as Cloud passes by NPC Sector 8 residents. Perhaps the themes of tribalism and mankind’s sin are relevant to this scene as well, since Shinra and Avalanche are two distinct and warring groups whose quarrels, regardless of their necessity, result in the deaths of innocents. The theme of guilt also emerges, reflecting the Avalanche members’ feelings upon seeing the unintended collateral damage of the explosion. “The Promised Land - Cycle of Life” plays until Cloud encounters Aerith on Loveless. So it seems in this scenario, the heavy weight of death and despair is lifted when Cloud meets the lively, cheery Aerith. Once more, Aerith is central to the musical theme of the Promised Land, as well as to the concept itself.
I also noticed that a version of the song plays as Cloud and the party ready to enter the Forgotten Capital to save Aerith in Rebirth’s chapter 14: it truly adds the weight of her upcoming death to the scene.
Back to Fatal Calling, the scene where Cloud regains his strength is quite mysterious. Wol says Cloud’s orb regained its “guiding light” light because of its proximity to the mako reactor. In the moment his strength is replenished, Cloud is shown tilting his head back and closing his eyes: this is reminiscent of the scene in Advent Children when he stands under Aerith’s healing Lifestream rain, feeling at peace. The rainbow ripples shining from the orb indicate that something is crossing the boundaries of worlds. Since the mako reactor pumps up the Lifestream, being near a reactor also means being physically near the Lifestream. This means Aerith’s spirit is within proximity. In my opinion, Aerith was able to heal Cloud from the Lifestream, just like in Advent Children. However, Aerith is not in Palamecia with him: her healing had to travel there through the Lifestream, transcending the boundaries of worlds, hence the rainbow ripples.
Let’s now address the appearance of Tifa’s character theme in Fatal Calling. Since Fatal Calling is all about discovering Cloud’s past in Nibelheim and then in Hojo’s lab, it makes lots of sense for Tifa’s theme to play as the crystal appears. In OG’s Lifestream sequence (disk 2 chapter 8), she’s the one there helping Cloud sort through his past instead of Wol and Echo. Cloud even picks up a piece of his childhood crush on Tifa in Fatal Calling as a shard of his memory. After all, this crush was the catalyst for him joining SOLDIER, and everything that transpired in consequence:

“Cloud: That was the first time I heard about Sephiroth. If I got strong like Sephiroth, then everyone might... If I could just get stronger... Then even Tifa would have to notice me” (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 8).

Additionally, it’s fitting that her theme should begin right after Sephiroth speaks of “[abandoning] your illusions and [facing] reality”, considering that Cloud’s false persona was concocted by Jenova using Tifa’s mistaken impressions of Cloud:

“While being tended to by a station worker in the Sector 7 Slum train station, [Cloud] was reunited with Tifa, and using the abilities of Jenova’s cells, formed a new personality” (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Revised Edition, “Chapter 2: Character in FFVII World, “Cloud Strife”, “Cloud Behavior Record, Compilation of FFVII”, page 40).

&

“(Image caption:) A new personality takes shape the moment he sees Tifa” (FFVII Story Playback, “Story Check: Tifa’s Flashback”).

&

“Tifa (to Cloud): Deep down, you're a pretty nice guy. Didn't see it when we were kids, but...” (Remake, chapter 14).

I don’t really know what to do i’m sure im most likely trans. But i worry that im not trans every day there’s not a day where im not worrying. I see others say they cry because they want to be a girl so bad but i just feel sad and confused i want to be a girl i dont want to be a man but i just dont know anymore i have such little effort left in me its my birthday in two days i dont think i can cope for much longer my mum is doing all she can but it’s horrible she’s not doing enough and i hate that i feel this way my legs are just done i cant keep going like this

N.B.: I'm mainly looking for the games listed in the title and at the bottom of the thread. Feel free to post other offers, but if I haven't responded to your comment(s) by my next posting, I likely wasn't able to find a trade that interested me.
​
For sale (for Steam Gift Cards or gifted Steam Wallet balance):
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• Dark Souls™: Prepare To Die™ Edition (removed from Steam Store; $350 $400 or best offer)
• Fall Guys (removed from Steam Store)
• Fall Guys - Dragon Hugger Pack (removed from Steam Store)
• Fall Guys - Icy Adventure Pack (removed from Steam Store)
• Marvel's Avengers - The Definitive Edition (removed from Steam Store)
• Spec Ops: The Line (removed from Steam Store)

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• Humble Hunie Sakura Bundle (can also trade for a full "charity" bundle (Australia Fire Relief Bundle or similar))
• Humble Sekai Project Bundle (can also trade for a full "charity" bundle (Stand with Ukraine Bundle or similar))

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For trade:
*signifies that a game is tentatively up for trade, assuming I buy the bundle
​

• Nioh 2 – The Complete Edition
• Soulstice
• Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Realms of Ruin – Ultimate Edition

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• A Little to the Left
• Black Book

​

• Superliminal
• The Talos Principle Gold Edition
• The Witness

​

• Destroy All Humans! 2 - Reprobed
• Life is Strange: True Colors
• Scorn
• There Is No Light: Enhanced Edition

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• Hellpoint
• Remnant: From the Ashes
• Tails of Iron

​

• Hell Pie
• OTXO
• The Red Lantern
• Twin Mirror

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• Arkham Horror: Mother's Embrace
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition
• Gloomhaven - Solo Scenarios: Mercenary Challenges
• Small World
• Small World - A Spider's Web
• Small World - Be not Afraid...
• Small World - Cursed!
• Small World - Grand Dames
• Small World - Royal Bonus
• Splendor
• Splendor - The Cities
• Splendor - The Strongholds
• Splendor - The Trading Posts
• Terraforming Mars

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• A Short Hike(?)
• A Story Beside(?)
• Aces & Adventures(?)
• Arcade Spirits(?)
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock(?)
• Beyond Blue(?)
• Cat Quest(?)
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!(?)
• EARTHLOCK(?)
• Harmony's Odyssey(?)
• Homeworld Remastered Collection(?)
• Lacuna – A Sci-Fi Noir Adventure(?)
• Minecraft: Java Edition - MCC Island Jingle Jam Rewards Pack(?)
• Monster Prom(?)
• Sifu Deluxe Cosmetic Pack(?)
• Spirit of the Island(?)
• SUPERHOT(?)
• Tinytopia(?)
• Toodee and Topdee(?)
• Train Valley 2(?)
• Turbo Golf Racing(?)
• Valthirian Arc: Hero School Story(?)
• Xenonauts(?)

​

• Angry Birds VR: Isle of Pigs

​

• Dark Deity
• Edge Of Eternity
• Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising

​

• CRYPTARK
• Dead Estate
• Paint the Town Red

​

• Lost Castle
• My Time At Portia

​

• Toodee and Topdee

​

• WWE 2K23

​

• Chivalry 2
• Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
• The Forgotten City
• GRIME
• Spiritfarer®: Farewell Edition

​

• Back 4 Blood
• Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham City - Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
• Batman™: Arkham Origins
• Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
• Mad Max
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
• Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
• Mortal Kombat 11
• Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Add-On Bundle
• Mortal Kombat XL

​

• Alan Wake Collector's Edition
• Bendy and the Dark Revival
• Pathologic 2

​

• CODE VEIN
• .hack//G.U. Last Recode
• Katamari Damacy REROLL
• TEKKEN 7

​

• A Juggler's Tale
• Spirit of the Island

​

• Boomerang Fu
• PlateUp!
• ROUNDS
• Stick Fight: The Game
• Ultimate Chicken Horse

​

• Fae Tactics
• Flynn: Son of Crimson
• Ikenfell
• Ring of Pain
• Void Bastards

​

• After the Fall® - Deluxe Edition
• Zero Caliber VR

​

• Patch Quest

​

• Five Dates
• Late Shift

​

• Demon Turf
• Pumpkin Jack

​

• Trover Saves the Universe

​

• Coromon
• The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos
• Jack Move

​

• Road 96
• SuchArt: Genius Artist Simulator

​

• A Short Hike

​

• Cloudpunk
• Ghostrunner
• Severed Steel

​

• Eternal Threads
• Turbo Golf Racing

​

• Lethal League Blaze
• OlliOlli World
• WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS

​

• Dragon Fist: VR Kung Fu
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners

​

• Celeste

​

• Blasphemous
• Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
• Hollow Knight

​

• Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery

​

• Bionic Commando: Rearmed
• Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen
• Lost Planet 3 - Complete
• Mega Man Legacy Collection
• STRIDER™ / ストライダー飛竜®

​

• Aground
• Calico
• Evan's Remains
• StarCrossed
• Teacup

​

• Into the Radius VR

​

• Aliens: Fireteam Elite
• Founders' Fortune
• Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp

​

• Nomad Survival
• Scarlet Tower

​

• The Citadel
• Viscerafest
• WRATH: Aeon of Ruin

​

• The Blackout Club

​

• BIOMUTANT
• Edge Of Eternity
• Golden Light

​

• Call of the Sea
• Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice

​

• 112 Operator
• 911 Operator
• The Amazing American Circus
• Armello
• Backbone
• Calico
• Euro Truck Simulator 2
• Farming Simulator 17
• Ghostrunner
• Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
• Lust from Beyond: M Edition
• Monaco: What's Yours Is Mine
• Orbital Racer
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition
• PAYDAY 2
• Pilgrims
• Soulblight
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition
• Starfinder Core Rulebook (Paizo key) and Starfinder Adventure: Junker's Delight (Paizo key)
• Strange Brigade
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• System Shock 2
• System Shock: Enhanced Edition
• Ticket to Ride
• XCOM® 2
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack

​

• Fallout: A Post Nuclear Role Playing Game
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
• Othercide
• Shady Part of Me

​

• The Last Campfire

​

• Sakura Swim Club

​

• Summer in Mara
• Townscaper

​

• The Long Dark: Survival Edition

​

• Stranded Sails - Explorers of the Cursed Islands

​

• Conan Chop Chop
• Grow: Song of the Evertree

​

• Styx: Shards of Darkness

​

• Hard West
• John Wick Hex
• Phantom Doctrine
• Red Solstice 2: Survivors

​

• Arizona Sunshine

​

• Backbone
• Blade Assault
• First Class Trouble
• Super Magbot

​

• Golf Gang
• Maid of Sker

​

• Vampire: The Masquerade - Coteries of New York
• Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York
• Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest

​

• Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl

​

• Crown Trick

​

• Guts and Glory
• Hello Neighbor

​

• Day of the Tentacle Remastered
• Grim Fandango Remastered
• Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
• STAR WARS®: Knights of the Old Republic™ II

​

• Duke Nukem Forever
• PGA TOUR 2K21
• WWE 2K Battlegrounds

​

• In Sound Mind

​

• Little Big Workshop
• Not Tonight

​

• Brigador Deluxe Edition
• Verdun

​

• Resident Evil 0
• Resident Evil 6
• Resident Evil

​

• EVERSPACE™

​

• Cultist Simulator
• GWENT: The Witcher Card Game - Ultimate Starter Pack (GOG key)

​

• The LEGO® NINJAGO® Movie Video Game

​

• Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
• Legion TD 2 - Multiplayer Tower Defense

​

• STAR WARS™: Squadrons (Origin key)(?)

​

• Bionic Commando
• Street Fighter V

​

• As Far As The Eye
• Impulsion

​

• Orcs Must Die! 2 - Complete Pack

​

• Bartlow's Dread Machine

​

• Blaston

​

• White Day: A Labyrinth Named School

​

• The Walking Dead

​

• Total Tank Simulator

​

• Archangel: Hellfire - Fully Loaded

​

• XCOM® 2

​

• Black The Fall
• Goetia

​

• Among the Sleep - Enhanced Edition

​

• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• This War of Mine

​

• Tom Clancy's The Division™ (Uplay key)
• Tom Clancy's The Division™ - Survival (Uplay key)

​

• Highway Blossoms
• HunieCam Studio
• KARAKARA
• Sunrider Academy
• Sunrider: Liberation Day - Captain's Edition

​

• A Kiss For the Petals - Remembering How We Met

​

• Hacknet
• Satellite Reign

​

• The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing: Final Cut

​

• The Elder Scrolls: Legends: 2 Card Packs (Skyrim) 1 Event Ticket 100 Gold 100 Souls
• ESO Vanity Pet: Bristlegut Piglet and 15 Days of ESO Plus

​

• Ame no Marginal -Rain Marginal-
• KARAKARA
• Memory's Dogma CODE:01
• Narcissu 10th Anniversary Anthology Project
• Narcissu 10th Anniversary Anthology Project - Season Pass

​

• A Kiss For the Petals - Remembering How We Met
• Sakura Angels
• Beach Bounce
• Beach Bounce - Soundtrack
• Blue Rose

​

• Lionessy Story
• My Personal Angel
• Natural - Beyond Nature -
• Postmen Of Horizon (removed from Steam Store)

​

• The Reject Demon: Toko Chapter 0 — Prelude

​

• Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards]
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle : School Girls Edition
• Poker Pretty Girls Battle: Texas Hold'em
• Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire

​

• Guns of Icarus Alliance
• Guns of Icarus Online
• Impossible Creatures Steam Edition
• Lethal League
• Tempest: Pirate Action RPG
• Tempest - Treasure Lands
• Tempest - Original Soundtrack
• Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf
• Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide

​

• Tenta Shooter
• Gun Gun Pixies
• DUSK
• For The King
• Book of Demons
• PlateUp!
• Kingdom Two Crowns
• White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
• Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
• Chivalry: Medieval Warfare
• Steel Rats™
• Hue
• Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle (Epic key)
• Gal*Gun: Double Peace
• The Invisible Hours
• Synergia
• ROCKETRON
• Project Nimbus: Complete Edition
• Dead Age
• Spirit Hunter: NG
• Slain: Back from Hell(?)
• Cook, Serve, Delicious!
• Tower of Time
• Danger Scavenger
• Survive the Nights
• Valfaris
• Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
• This War of Mine

​

• Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Here Be Dragons

​

• 112 Operator
• 911 Operator
• Book of Demons
• Broken Age
• Brothers - A Tale of Two Sons
• Crying Suns
• Crying Suns
• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• Driftland: The Magic Revival
• Liberated (GOG key)
• Moon Hunters
• Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
• Wanderlust: Travel Stories (GOG key)
• WARSAW
• X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC (I believe this redeems as the linked Complete Pack, minus the soundtrack)
• ΔV: Rings of Saturn(?)

​

• Arcade Paradise
• Calico
• Say No! More
• Fallout: A Post Nuclear Role Playing Game
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
• Phoenix Point: Year One Edition
• Deliver Us The Moon
• Morkredd
• Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
• Spirit Hunter: NG
• Survivalist: Invisible Strain
• Warhammer: Vermintide 2
• ENDLESS™ Space 2
• Surviving the Aftermath
• The Long Dark

​

• Duck Game
• SCP: Secret Files
• WWE 2K23
• The Jackbox Party Pack
• Outward (redeems as the base game only, not the linked Definitive Edition)
• Outward - The Soroboreans
• Outward Soundtrack
• Blade Assault
• Founders' Fortune
• Hokko Life
• Monster Crown
• Othercide
• Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous - Enhanced Edition
• ScourgeBringer
• Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey
• HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED™
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
• Sonic CD (removed from Steam Store)
• LEGO® Harry Potter: Years 1-4
• LEGO® Harry Potter: Years 5-7
• STRIDER™ / ストライダー飛竜®
• Bionic Commando
• Full Metal Furies
• Ultra Street Fighter® IV
• Starbound
• Mafia III: Sign of the Times
• BioShock 2
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
• Sherlock Holmes: The Devil's Daughter
• The Mean Greens - Plastic Warfare
• Crusaders of the Lost Idols Legendary Starter Pack
• Project CARS (removed from Steam Store)

​
WANT:
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• 5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel
• Astebreed: Definitive Edition
• Avernum: Escape from the Pit
• BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger
• CrossCode
• Dead Rising 4
• Dungreed
• Mega Man X Legacy Collection 2
• Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection
• Mortal Kombat Komplete Edition
• Myst (2021)
• NBA 2K23
• NECROPOLIS: BRUTAL EDITION
• Omensight: Definitive Edition
• OPUS: Echo of Starsong - Full Bloom Edition
• OPUS: Rocket of Whispers
• OPUS: The Day We Found Earth
• Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid
• RAGE
• Resident Evil Village
• The Jackbox Party Pack 5
• The Jackbox Party Pack 6
• The Jackbox Party Pack 7
• Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap
• Zombie Army 4: Dead War

​

• any extra copies of WWE 2K23

​
IGS Rep Page: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ti26nz/mizznos_igs_rep_page/

I (19M) met my best friend (19F) about 4 years ago during the end of my Freshman Year in High School. In that time, she was dating someone and I was dating someone and eventually, both of our relationships went to crap because of very immature reasons that were common with kids our age. I was afraid to be alone after my break up so I ended up getting closer to her and it got to the point where we began to talk every single day, and that streak hasn’t ended since. I had a feeling about her even during that time but went on to enter a situation-ship that turned into an actual relationship for about a month until that too ended unceremoniously. She was there for all of it and even gave me the confidence to end the relationship with my ex after my ex said that I “wasn’t a priority,” something I’ll never forget. That line hurt like hell after putting so much energy into caring for her.
My second ex, the situation-ship one, would joke around with my feelings afterward and try to talk to me months after our breakup. For context, I told her never to speak to me again after she claimed she loved me then went on to date another guy as reported by my best friend. So this behavior was very detrimental to my mental health and made things a lot worse for me. My best friend however, protected and defended me from her actions. My ex let it slip that she was afraid for my bff to find out we were talking because she had scolded her before.
Eventually, that ended and up until this point, my bff was someone who was scarily similar to me and sorta brought me out of my shell. I changed a lot of my “loner” ways for her and would walk to class with her, not even speaking sometimes, just enjoying her presence. We’d have these little moments between each other and got mistaken for a couple a few times too. She had an affinity towards me but it was nothing romantic.
Fast forward to last year and I’m starting to take notice of some strange feelings for her and through subtle prodding, it was still clear she wasn’t into me in that way. There’d be little clues of something brewing within her heart but not enough to act.
Now this is where it gets interesting. 2024 has probably been our best year yet and the crazy part is that we haven’t seen each other in-person since our mutual friend’s graduation party which was last year. We have plans to travel across the world, live in some apartment together, own a dog together, dress up for halloween as Agnes and Kristofferson from Fantastic Mr. Fox, and a bunch more like me cooking for her and us doing each other’s hair. We text and talk to each other like we’ve been married for 20 years. She’ll tell me when something’s wrong and never takes out her frustration on me, called me when she was having cramps and stuff, will occasionally take some photos of herself for me.
The photos of her is where I find myself realizing how deep I’ve fallen because this woman is just gorgeous. I legitimately can’t see myself with anybody else but her. Her smile, her hair, her cute glasses, and her entire body is simply STUNNING. Don’t even get me started on personality because that’s what has me so starstruck. I was looking at her photos tonight and man, I wonder how I lived without her for 15 years…
I never run out of things to talk about with her and unlike the past few years, all of her plans seem to include me in them. Driving together, napping together, just being around each other always. I mentioned her being my partner a few times and she gladly accepted that title. I EVEN KNOW WHAT WEDDING RING SHE WANTS. It’s not the look that matters but the engraving, which is the timestamp for Harry’s love confession to Sally in “When Harry Met Sally.”
My relationship/friendship with her is completely unlike the ones where I was actively dating them, I am so completely invested in her life and what’s she doing and what she likes. It’s borderline obsession with loving every aspect of her and the world she sees. My friends are always talking about flirting with girls and all that but as long as my best friend exists, I feel as though I’m taken.
And I know some people would question why I haven’t confessed and that’s because I’m waiting until I can see her face-to-face and know for sure if she loves me back in that way. We say I love you quite a bit but with everything going on between us, I have a feeling that I’ll get my true answer by getting to look into her eyes again. Part of me thinks I’m dreaming all this up and that she truly does see us as just friends but there’s too many coincidences for me to ignore it. We’re too close, I believe. Too close for either of us to enter a relationship with someone else, at least.
Let me know what you guys think.

I (19M) met my best friend (19F) about 4 years ago during the end of my Freshman Year in High School. In that time, she was dating someone and I was dating someone and eventually, both of our relationships went to crap because of very immature reasons that were common with kids our age. I was afraid to be alone after my break up so I ended up getting closer to her and it got to the point where we began to talk every single day, and that streak hasn’t ended since. I had a feeling about her even during that time but went on to enter a situation-ship that turned into an actual relationship for about a month until that too ended unceremoniously. She was there for all of it and even gave me the confidence to end the relationship with my ex after my ex said that I “wasn’t a priority,” something I’ll never forget. That line hurt like hell after putting so much energy into caring for her.
My second ex, the situation-ship one, would joke around with my feelings afterward and try to talk to me months after our breakup. For context, I told her never to speak to me again after she claimed she loved me then went on to date another guy as reported by my best friend. So this behavior was very detrimental to my mental health and made things a lot worse for me. My best friend however, protected and defended me from her actions. My ex let it slip that she was afraid for my bff to find out we were talking because she had scolded her before.
Eventually, that ended and up until this point, my bff was someone who was scarily similar to me and sorta brought me out of my shell. I changed a lot of my “loner” ways for her and would walk to class with her, not even speaking sometimes, just enjoying her presence. We’d have these little moments between each other and got mistaken for a couple a few times too. She had an affinity towards me but it was nothing romantic.
Fast forward to last year and I’m starting to take notice of some strange feelings for her and through subtle prodding, it was still clear she wasn’t into me in that way. There’d be little clues of something brewing within her heart but not enough to act.
Now this is where it gets interesting. 2024 has probably been our best year yet and the crazy part is that we haven’t seen each other in-person since our mutual friend’s graduation party which was last year. We have plans to travel across the world, live in some apartment together, own a dog together, dress up for halloween as Agnes and Kristofferson from Fantastic Mr. Fox, and a bunch more like me cooking for her and us doing each other’s hair. We text and talk to each other like we’ve been married for 20 years. She’ll tell me when something’s wrong and never takes out her frustration on me, called me when she was having cramps and stuff, will occasionally take some photos of herself for me.
The photos of her is where I find myself realizing how deep I’ve fallen because this woman is just gorgeous. I legitimately can’t see myself with anybody else but her. Her smile, her hair, her cute glasses, and her entire body is simply STUNNING. Don’t even get me started on personality because that’s what has me so starstruck. I was looking at her photos tonight and man, I wonder how I lived without her for 15 years…
I never run out of things to talk about with her and unlike the past few years, all of her plans seem to include me in them. Driving together, napping together, just being around each other always. I mentioned her being my partner a few times and she gladly accepted that title. I EVEN KNOW WHAT WEDDING RING SHE WANTS. It’s not the look that matters but the engraving, which is the timestamp for Harry’s love confession to Sally in “When Harry Met Sally.”
My relationship/friendship with her is completely unlike the ones where I was actively dating them, I am so completely invested in her life and what’s she doing and what she likes. It’s borderline obsession with loving every aspect of her and the world she sees. My friends are always talking about flirting with girls and all that but as long as my best friend exists, I feel as though I’m taken.
And I know some people would question why I haven’t confessed and that’s because I’m waiting until I can see her face-to-face and know for sure if she loves me back in that way. We say I love you quite a bit but with everything going on between us, I have a feeling that I’ll get my true answer by getting to look into her eyes again. Part of me thinks I’m dreaming all this up and that she truly does see us as just friends but there’s too many coincidences for me to ignore it. We’re too close, I believe. Too close for either of us to enter a relationship with someone else, at least.
Let me know what you guys think.
TL;DR this girl is literal perfection and loves me to bits but I can’t read her mind on if the feelings are romantic. Am I crazy on thinking so from how close she is to me?

I (19M) met my best friend (19F) about 4 years ago during the end of my Freshman Year in High School. In that time, she was dating someone and I was dating someone and eventually, both of our relationships went to crap because of very immature reasons that were common with kids our age. I was afraid to be alone after my break up so I ended up getting closer to her and it got to the point where we began to talk every single day, and that streak hasn’t ended since. I had a feeling about her even during that time but went on to enter a situation-ship that turned into an actual relationship for about a month until that too ended unceremoniously. She was there for all of it and even gave me the confidence to end the relationship with my ex after my ex said that I “wasn’t a priority,” something I’ll never forget. That line hurt like hell after putting so much energy into caring for her.
My second ex, the situation-ship one, would joke around with my feelings afterward and try to talk to me months after our breakup. For context, I told her never to speak to me again after she claimed she loved me then went on to date another guy as reported by my best friend. So this behavior was very detrimental to my mental health and made things a lot worse for me. My best friend however, protected and defended me from her actions. My ex let it slip that she was afraid for my bff to find out we were talking because she had scolded her before.
Eventually, that ended and up until this point, my bff was someone who was scarily similar to me and sorta brought me out of my shell. I changed a lot of my “loner” ways for her and would walk to class with her, not even speaking sometimes, just enjoying her presence. We’d have these little moments between each other and got mistaken for a couple a few times too. She had an affinity towards me but it was nothing romantic.
Fast forward to last year and I’m starting to take notice of some strange feelings for her and through subtle prodding, it was still clear she wasn’t into me in that way. There’d be little clues of something brewing within her heart but not enough to act.
Now this is where it gets interesting. 2024 has probably been our best year yet and the crazy part is that we haven’t seen each other in-person since our mutual friend’s graduation party which was last year. We have plans to travel across the world, live in some apartment together, own a dog together, dress up for halloween as Agnes and Kristofferson from Fantastic Mr. Fox, and a bunch more like me cooking for her and us doing each other’s hair. We text and talk to each other like we’ve been married for 20 years. She’ll tell me when something’s wrong and never takes out her frustration on me, called me when she was having cramps and stuff, will occasionally take some photos of herself for me.
The photos of her is where I find myself realizing how deep I’ve fallen because this woman is just gorgeous. I legitimately can’t see myself with anybody else but her. Her smile, her hair, her cute glasses, and her entire body is simply STUNNING. Don’t even get me started on personality because that’s what has me so starstruck. I was looking at her photos tonight and man, I wonder how I lived without her for 15 years…
I never run out of things to talk about with her and unlike the past few years, all of her plans seem to include me in them. Driving together, napping together, just being around each other always. I mentioned her being my partner a few times and she gladly accepted that title. I EVEN KNOW WHAT WEDDING RING SHE WANTS. It’s not the look that matters but the engraving, which is the timestamp for Harry’s love confession to Sally in “When Harry Met Sally.”
My relationship/friendship with her is completely unlike the ones where I was actively dating them, I am so completely invested in her life and what’s she doing and what she likes. It’s borderline obsession with loving every aspect of her and the world she sees. My friends are always talking about flirting with girls and all that but as long as my best friend exists, I feel as though I’m taken.
And I know some people would question why I haven’t confessed and that’s because I’m waiting until I can see her face-to-face and know for sure if she loves me back in that way. We say I love you quite a bit but with everything going on between us, I have a feeling that I’ll get my true answer by getting to look into her eyes again. Part of me thinks I’m dreaming all this up and that she truly does see us as just friends but there’s too many coincidences for me to ignore it. We’re too close, I believe. Too close for either of us to enter a relationship with someone else, at least.
Let me know what you guys think.
TL;DR this girl is literal perfection and loves me to bits but I can’t read her mind on if the feelings are romantic. Am I crazy on thinking so from how close she is to me?

I've been thinking that if Spy x Family ever got a live action adaptation (never gonna/never should happen?), whether as a film (trilogy?) or microseries, then a smart way of truncating the story would be to have Loid and Anya have a pre-established father-daughter relationship as a result of him rescuing her from the lab.
Twilight infiltrates the lab as a janitor, discovers that Subject 007 is the only survivor from their human trials and immediately decides to rescue her. Fortunately for him, the facility is distracted by a completely coincidental simultaneous attack by the mysterious Thorn Princess (who wears a mask in this adaptation since part of her Garden-mandated M. O. is to allow a survivor every once in a while to build up her reputation... in this case, said survivor just happens to be the dumbstruck Twilight, still in disguise. She informs him that she's about to rig the place to blow and that he should leave now. He runs off to retrieve Anya from her hiding place, where he told her to stay while he investigated the sounds of fighting. Thorn Princess allows them to leave, since Twilight was able to convince her that he really was just a hard-working man who was disgusted by the experiments and just wanted to help this girl escape. They part ways and the lab is destroyed.
Although in my imagination, said infiltration-turned-rescue would have happened while Anya is four, allowing her the awareness to get overly attached to Twilight, thus resulting in him getting automatically assigned by the higher ups from WISE (they're the only ones who know about her power) as her guardian/mentor. His mission is to protect her while helping her hone her abilities. Whether she becomes a spy or an ordinary well-adjusted citizen, would be up to her once she comes of age... All of this could be a cold open prologue narrated by Anya in the style of a spy novel. It's a mental diary entry she recites to herself on the anniversary of her rescue.
This would be a great way of shortening the set up as far as Loid and Anya are concerned. Among the Forger family, these two have known each other for longer and are the only ones who have any knowledge of Operation Strix and are actively working for its success (Yor is a wonderful and essential addition to the family, but sometimes she does feel a bit like an outsider... which she is: as far as she knows, she's Loid's second wife and Anya's stepmother).
If this hypothetical adaptation has Twilight rescue Anya as an infant/toddler and Operation Strix happens when she's around eleven or twelve, then this would allow the casting director to look for older, more experienced child actors for the role. But then again, a twelve year old Anya who was raised by Twilight may not be so eager to ship her spy dad with a freaking assassin they just so happen to bump into... unless said assassin happened to attack the lab several years ago and coincidentally allowed Twilight to survive and thus liberate little Anya! (As for why Yor doesn't recognize Anya now... Um, she just forgot, okay! :D But seriously, if pink hair were to be a rare, but not too rare, hair color in this adaptation's universe, then there would be little reason for Yor to suspect that Anya Forger is the same kid she helped rescue a few years back, especially if she doesn't recall hearing the child's name at the time.)
I imagine the first film of this hypothetical adaptation to start with "Dr. Loid Forger" being visited by his "mother-in-law" (Handler) who informs him that WISE HQ has determined that Anya and her ability are necessary for Operation Strix. Twilight, who has grown attached to Anya over the years, is upset but reluctantly agrees upon hearing the reasoning behind the decision. Anya is much less reluctant! After moving to Berlint and passing the entrance exam for Eden Academy, they receive the letter about both parents showing up for the interview. They come up with a plan to hire a single woman as a nanny for Anya, a woman who they can convince to also act as Anya's mother for the interview and trustworthy enough to keep quiet about it. While looking for prospects, the pair end up reuniting with an oblivious Yor.
So as not to complicate the plot too much (in the case of a standalone film with a soft potential sequel hook at the end) let's say that Yor had, at this point, handed in her resignation to the Shopkeeper since Yuri is now a grown man who's taking good care of himself. Unfortunately for Yor, resigning from Garden basically means getting politely excommunicated by the organization. No longer will they spare any of their resources to provide for her or to protect her from the authorities (should it ever come to that). She's on her own. So she's out job hunting when she coincidentally crosses paths with the Forgers. Seeing Anya makes Yor think of the time she helped rescue a pink haired kid from a lab. Anya reads her mind and she KNOWS that she's found the mom she wants!
Anya takes Loid aside to explain that Yor is Thorn Princess. She also tries to convince him of the benefits of keeping a jobless assassin away from unassuming civilians and from enemy employment by hiring her themselves. They'd keep her out of the loop as far as operation Strix was concerned, instead monitoring her as they keep her around as a loyal nanny with the skills of a bodyguard. After much pestering from Anya, Loid very reluctantly hires Yor as her nanny (and also fake mother for the interview).
(Now, Yuri is either still an SSS officer, or just a regular government employee... If the latter, then Yor might be able to get him to forge her marriage certificate later. He might grudgingly go along with it, the guy did give his sister a job... but he better not touch her.)
After that, the film would focus a bit on Anya adapting to life as an Eden student and befriending Becky and trying to befriend Damian... Maybe even showing a montage of the Forgers going about their daily lives: Anya doing good/badly at school and earning stellas/tonitrus bolts, Loid going out to do other spy jobs with Franky, Yuri (toned down) paying visits and eventually introducing his girlfriend Fiona (also toned down), and Yor settling in and finding peace in her new life as "Mrs. Forger".
Eventually, Anya sets her sights on earning another stella by signing up for community service at the dog adoption fair leading to an adaptation of the Doggy Crisis arc as the climax. Loid is called in by WISE and Yor is left to accompany Anya. Blah blah blah. Maybe Damian's also doing community service for the stella and ends up getting entangled with the terrorists and Anya ends up saving him at one point. Yor stops the terrorists that WISE couldn't capture. Perhaps, as a backup plan, the terrorists found and hired another excommunicated Garden assassin to take out the Westalian ambassador. Higher stakes may also force Anya to reveal her powers to Yor in order to help Loid in time.
At the end of the day the Forgers get to adopt Bond and Yor is brought in on Loid and Anya's secret, becoming an active participant of Operation Strix. Throughout the film, Loid has seen how quickly Anya and Yor clicked and grew close together and how they obviously loved each other. Loid ("for the mission, for Anya", he tries insist, but drops the excuses) proposes to Yor for real with a grenade pin. She happily accepts.
The film ends with the Forgers settling into their new lives as a family... One night while having dinner, the phone rings. Anya gets up to answer it, leaving Loid and Yor alone and trying to flirt with each other. Anya comes back, phone still in hand, explaining that the caller is Damian whose parents have given permission to invite friends and their parents over for his birthday party. Anya shares a knowing look with her parents, who both give her a nod. She says her thanks and accepts the invitation, hangs up the phone, and rejoins her parents at the table, gives Bond some food from her plate, Loid and Yor resume talking about their day. As this peaceful family scene plays out the music takes on a jazzy tune, clearly implying that the Forgers are already making plans. Cut to title: SPY X FAMILY.
Roll credits. :)