Wade held Jasmine in his arms as he flew a low height down the long road to another section of the staryard, Tina on his back and Nathan and F right behind them in the air. Together, the five glided across the base grounds, taking care as to not irritate the aerial security during their search for the meeting room. Being outside for the flight, the group considered it a blessing that Wade's 'enhanced cooling unit' allowed his body to tolerate the breaching sun in the still cloudy sky, which, according to F, was dangerous to drones like her due to the inefficient cooling she and disassembly drones like her suffered from. Given F's physical fault, she had to fly under shady areas in order to safely traverse the base at day.
Originally, Wade and his friends had planned to walk to the meeting zone, but after running into a trooper experiencing a health mishap, the group did what they could to help the distressed officer. By the time he was brought to the medical ward by other soldiers, Wade found that him and his team would be at least a few minutes late if they kept on their way with their walk.
Deciding to speed things up, Wade, understanding the concern for performing such an effort, opted to carry the Fowleys around the base to the meeting area. Reluctantly, F decided to come along, carrying Nathan in a similar manner that Wade was carrying Jasmine. Taking notice of the time on his HUD, which read, "9:47 AM", Wade scouted for the building he and his friends were directed to. "8072" He said to himself, the number being for the building that would house the imminent meeting.
"They said it was down here, right?" Wade asked aloud to Tina before stopping himself in mid-air, the girl holding onto him tightly as he tried to speak over the growing sound of a retrofit Apache flying overhead.
Looking about, Tina nodded as she spotted the target building. "Yes, I believe that's the one over there!" Pointing past his head, Wade followed her finger to a large building ahead at his right. The structure was moderately tall, only about two stories high, with several soldiers and officers going in and out of the building. Wade smiled as he noticed the target number, as well as the big, bold words describing the building's designation. "8072, Briefing Center B"
"Good eye, honey. Hang on!" Continuing his low glide, Wade zoomed towards the building's entrance before stopping just meters above the ground, his two friends close behind as they slowed down as well. The troopers around them initially looked startled by the sudden arrival of Wade and his group, but quickly regained their composure as Wade hovered still above them.
"At ease! Just visitors." One of the soldiers declared as they identified the newcomers, who touched down before Wade let Jasmine down to her feet, Tina hopping onto the ground along with her.
Putting his hands up, Wade apologized for his swift surprise. "Sorry for the scare, we got delayed for a meeting we're invited to."
The soldier gave an understanding nod as he replied to the former worker drone sternly. "I can see that, just be a bit more careful next time, Mr. Carter. You gave the boys here quite a scare."
Wade returned the gesture in embarrassment as F put a hand to his back, chuckling at his efforts as Tina questioned the officer. "Is Mrs. J in there? She's the one who called for us."
The guard gave his reply as Wade and Tina pulled out their IDs for clearance. "Yes she is, Miss. The meeting's set to begin in under ten minutes." Checking the two drones' IDs, Jasmine and the others pulled out theirs as well, the watchman motioning another trooper over to verify the group. Once the guard finished checking the five's cards, he nodded in approval as the watchman spoke once more. "You're clear to enter."
"Thank you Sir, again, sorry about that spook back there." Wade replied with a smile as the trooper gave one of his own, the disassembly drone and his allies making their way towards the office door before stopping upon the call of a voice.
"Hey, Felice!" Wade turned to find the origin of the voice, F doing the same as the two quickly spotted a quartet of soldiers walking excitedly towards F. The disassembly drone glanced to her friends with a smile before turning back to the approaching entourage.
Wade examined the four troops as they got closer: Two human men, one woman, and a male worker drone. One of the male soldiers had short, blonde hair, and a small scar to the right side of their face. The second man bore a tan skin tone and had black hair, with blue strips that went down slightly in a mullet style. The woman bore a set of long, dark green hair, with the hair going down and over her left shoulder. As for the worker drone, he wore the standard green soldier helmet, single eye visor and all. He had no hair on him from what Wade could tell, and bore a pair of whiteish purple eyes on his visor.
As F walked over to the soldiers, the same one that called to her spoke again. "Felicity, I didn't expect to see you around here today! Where you been?"
The girl soldier interrupted his initial chatter. "Hang on Carlos, do you even know if she remembers us?"
"Aye, don't she have one o' them memory locks, or sumthin?" The drone added in a heavy Scottish accent.
F waved her hand as she replied to the group. "Easy, everyone. Thankfully I still got my memories, courtesy of my technician back at Central." Lowering her hand, F let down her usual persona as she gave a wide smirk to the soldiers, clearly pleased to see them. "Good to see you guys around here."
The soldiers gave light cheers to F as they all embraced her, the group having a surprise reunion as Wade and the others watched in surprise. These must've been F's old colleagues from when she was in the service, Wade thought. Quite the coincidence for them to be here at this base of all places.
Not bothering with the convenience of the matter, Wade shook the thought off as he and his friends watched F and her old friends breaking the hug, Tina wrapping an arm around her boyfriend as the second male human spoke to her in what the two discerned as Spanish. "Ay, who your new friends, F?"
"Oh, these guys?" F replied in the same language, quietly startling Wade and the others as they had never heard her speak like that until now. Glancing over to Wade, F motioned him and the others to come over. "Everyone, these are some friends I made in the past few days. Wade, Nathan, Tina, and Jasmine." She pointed her hand to the four as she said each of their names. "I met the boys here during my time on Ceres. Jasmine and Tina here are sisters."
The four soldiers gave various forms of excitement, ranging from hearty laughs to low woops and even a whistle from one of the guys. As F stood next to her old teammates, they each introduced themselves to Wade and his friends. The blonde soldier went first. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you all, name's Carlos, Lieutenant Marksman."
"I'm Private Alvaros, good with close-range and stealth operations." Said the tan soldier with a salute.
"Sergeant Lucia Vasquez, usually the one who leads this bunch around these days." The female warrior stated with a humorous smirk.
"And Corporal Duncan Wallace, at your service!" The soldier drone stated proudly as he saluted to the bunch in front of him, who gave warm smiles as Wade shook his hand.
"Quite honored to meet you all, seems you have quite the history with F." The former worker drone said as Carlos patted F on her back.
"Oh, we do! She's the one who took charge when we didn't! Did you all hear of the Pasting of Nola VI?" Jasmine and Tina gave nods of affirmation while Wade, not as familiar with such history, held his hand up in a questioning manner.
"I think, wasn't that the battle where the Navy just barely held the outpost in that system? From the Stryker Clan?" Wade asked as Carlos nodded approvingly to him.
"That's right, and if Felice weren't there, WE would've been the ones getting pasted!" Carlos' statement brought victorious cheers and "oorahs" from the group, F letting a blush loose as she chuckled at her team's praise of her efforts.
"Well, that's not wrong." Although she didn't want to break off from her friends and discuss the past few years since they'd last met, F remembered the briefing. Clearing her throat, she continued. "And as much as I'd like to chat about the good times, I've been called to a meeting here, as have Wade and his crew."
The soldier group gave understanding looks to F as Lucia spoke up. "Thought so, Carl here was real eager to see you, though."
"Maybe we can talk after the meeting?" Nathan proposed as the soldiers collectively nodded in agreement, F readying a smartcomm attachment before turning to face her friends again.
"We're probably getting low on time, you all go in, I'll catch up in a sec." Wade nodded in acknowledgement before taking Tina's hand, the lover drones continuing towards the briefing center as Jasmine and Nathan followed behind them.
Passing through the door, the four guests observed a short hallway, which seemed to split into two paths as they came closer to the other end. Looking to a sign on the wall above, they saw arrows pointing to two separate areas, "Primary Briefing Room; Main Lobby + Secondary & Tertiary" Going to the right, they entered the moderately active lobby, several officers walking and standing about in mass chatter. Walking over to the desk up against the wall to their left, Wade and his group waved a hand to the occupying attendant.
"Welcome, what do you need?" The desk attendant asked as Tina raised a finger to reply.
"We're here for a meeting, Mrs. J called us here."
The attendant nodded in understanding before directing an arm towards the other end of the room, where a single door stood. "She should be in the second briefing room down that way."
"Thank you." Tina replied warmly before she and Wade began walking towards the door, their friends behind them as they proceeded into the room.
The room beyond the door was quite sizable, a large circular table occupying the middle with several chairs surrounding it. The walls went up a few meters, with four whiteish blue lights illuminating the room. On the wall opposite to Wade and Tina were three monitor screens, all of which showed the USN in bright blue. In several of the seats were faces both familiar and unfamiliar, several men and women in varying styles of uniforms conversing about quietly or taking notice of the recent visitors. Standing up near the monitors were three people: A decorated officer whom Tina identified as a ship captain, and the so-called operatives, Tessa, albeit as a hologram, and J.
Walking slowly into the room, Wade gave a low wave of his hand as he tried to hide his nervousness. Noticing his shyness in front of the officers, Tina held his hand and rubbed his arm comfortingly while returning a pleasant smile to the staff in the room.
"Ah, Wade, Tina. Glad to see you all here." J stated with a smile as she scanned the group, raising a digital eyebrow as she noticed one missing guest. "Or, most of you, I see. Did F run off somewhere?"
Wade shook his head as he replied to his fellow disassembly drone. "Oh, no. She just ran into some old friends, she should be back-"
"Right now." F finished aloud as she entered the room, seemingly having heard Wade speaking about her absence. The warrior drone fast walked to Wade's team, taking a seat near them as they prepared to do the same. "Not too late, are we?"
"Not at all." The standing officer answered as the group took their seats, Wade and Tina sitting next to each other as they got comfortable. The captain examined the lot for a moment, glancing to J as he asked about them. "So, these are the ones you helped rescue from the Mojave?"
"Yes Captain, and they helped us out greatly in turn. This is Wade Carter, one of the captured drones whom became a disassembly drone before we could mount the rescue. The luckiest one, if you ask me." Motioning her arm over the others, she continued. "And there's his girlfriend, Mrs. Tina Fowley, and her sister Jasmine." Smirking to F and Nathan, she finished her friends' introductions. "And these two are Serial Designation F and Mr. Nathan, whom I've heard were once under your ranks."
The military captain gave a welcoming smile to the five as they returned the gesture, eyeing F and Nathan specifically before speaking to them. "Indeed they were, we still have records on their contributions to the colonies." Eyeing F, he continued. "Though, in Mrs. F's case, I won't blame her if she doesn't remember us. We've been very well aware of JCJenson's 'memory suppression' protocols when it comes to their DDs."
F laid back in her seat with a smug look as she replied to her former superior. "Well, my friend on the station's a good tech gal. She's... waived that hindrance from me."
"I see, that means your still with us, am I right, Mrs. Lee?" Unlike her friends next to her, F was not startled by her original name being said aloud, rather smiling proudly as she saluted to the captain. "Good to see you again."
"Pleased to be here, Sir." F replied as she lowered her arm, glancing to her companions next to her as J spoke up.
"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Captain Preston Mitchell, commander of the USNV Vickers down at the stardock."
Wade gave a respectful salute to Preston as he spoke first. "It's an honor to meet you, Sir."
"Thank you, Mr. Carter. I've heard about your efforts from J, you did an admirable job back there, son." Wade failed to hide an embarrassed blush from the compliment, but it quickly faded as a beep sounded from a small device on the table. It was swiftly silenced by the captain as he tapped a button on the small, pyramid shaped timer, then facing Wade's group before continuing. "Though, as much as we could use some small talk, it'll have to wait till later."
"Indeed, we're running late at this point." Said another officer, a highly decorated member of the base with dark skin, dark grey hair and a thin beard. He immediately won the attention of everyone in the room as he spoke up. "I'm General Hugh Hood, overseer of this base. I'm certain you know some of the reasons you're here with us, correct?"
Wade nodded as he spoke to Hood. "Yeah, it's cause of those rogue agents from the JCJenson corporation." Glancing to J, the corporate drone nodded in affirmation before speaking herself.
"Tessa and I spent the last hours of yesterday evening clearing up the matter with General Hood, along with several other officials stationed here." She stopped as the middle monitor behind her flashed with a banner at the top, reading, "INCOMING TRANSMISSION", and in place of the USN emblem was a textless version of the JCJenson logo. Below the profile image was another two lines of text. "N. Jenson (Company Exec); Comms Source: Yottrite IV"
"And also told our boss about what happened here too, he wanted to give his say on this ordeal." Looking to the general, J asked him, "May I put him on?"
Hood only gave a nod of approval to the corporate drone before she picked up a remote on the table and tapped a button, accepting the call as the picture shifted to show a middle-aged man in a pristine-looking business suit on the screen.
Wade and Tina glanced to each other before J introduced their guest on the screen. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the CEO of JCJenson: Mr. Noor Jenson."
Jenson gave a pleased nod to his subordinate as he spoke to J. "Thank you for the pleasantries, J. I see we are ready to discuss our plans on dealing with this 'recall' disaster I've bore witness to on the news this morning?"
J nodded as she replied to her boss. "Indeed, I've explained to General Hood here about our efforts yesterday, and, as of recent, we've just received a message from a source we believe to be close to the company."
Mr. Jenson looked down to J attentively as he spoke to her. "Well, that's quite intriguing news, J. Do you have this message available for us to view?" J and Hood both nodded in affirmation, but didn't get an immediate reply as Jenson gazed to Wade and his friends. "...And I presume these are some of the drones rescued from one of the factories?"
Again, J nodded to her superior before explaining her colleagues. "Yes Mr. Jenson, the two drones at the front in particular were among those taken by the Administrator and their subordinates." Pointing an arm to Wade and Tina, she introduced the drone couple. "The disassembly drone here is Mr. Wade Carter, a brother to his-technically speaking-owner, the late Ron Carter. The latter helped us recover Wade during an initial raid inside the Nevada facility." When bringing up Ron, J gave an apologetic look to Wade as to show she did not mean to be offending on him and his brother's relationship. "And this is his romantic partner, Mrs. Tina Fowley. I heard she and her sister Jasmine are pilots."
Jenson looked over the two drones as his obedient employee described them to him, quietly sighing as Wade and Tina returned the gaze with nervous smiles. Once J finished, Jenson spoke to Wade. "I... would say it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Carter. But, given recent events, I don't hold fault to you for feeling frustrated at me for my... former subordinate's actions."
Wade shook his head lightly, taking Jenson's light apology with a faint smile as he replied to the CEO. "Actually, I don't. The only person I have such feelings put towards is," He hesitated for a moment, his anger at Dr. Halloway returning for a short moment before he eased himself. "..That bastard Halloway."
"The feeling's mutual, Mr. Carter. Dr. Halloway has been trying my patience for years now, especially with you and your fellow disassembly drones." Looking to J, then F, he returned his gaze to Wade before questioning him on his new body. "I don't know if J has told you of this, but if there's one truth my company has admittedly not held up to for a while, it's our quality. Recently, some of my research staff here made blueprints for an upgraded variant of the disassembly drone design. It's intended to fix several faults we expected to be nonexistent previously, most notably that atrocious cooling unit."
As a schematic pulled up on the left monitor, everyone glanced to the improved design before F spoke up about it. "If I may ask, Mr. Jenson, how big of an improvement is this new cooling unit supposed to be?"
"Good question, F. Frankly, it's supposed to do away with the issue entirely. Saves us from sacrificing enormous supplies of oil for the poorly built unit in the previous iterations. We even tested it with a repaired drone just a few days ago, and it worked flawlessly." Then, glancing to Wade again, he questioned the former worker drone on his new form. "Speaking of, how does your enhanced body feel, Mr. Carter? I'm certain it feels better to not have to-"
"Actually, Mr. Jenson," Wade interrupted, pulling out one of his canteens as he answered the CEO on his upgrades. "I guess Halloway changed up the blueprints, cause unfortunately this new cooling unit didn't cure the overheating problem. I... kinda learned that the hard way." Wade glanced to Tina apologetically, still feeling bad from her seeing him eat the corpse of the dead murder drone back at the factory.
The corporate CEO grimaced in frustration as he took in Wade's statement, already intolerant of the head researcher's actions as he replied. "...I was worried about that, Edgar always likes to run things his own way, making excuses for that 'Administrator' he watches over." Taking an agitated breath, he continued on with his spew on the two culprits of yesterday's events. "It was only because of all the very impressive creations and enhancements she and her research team provided that I tolerated them for so long, but this..." Sitting up straight in front of the camera, Jenson finished sternly. "J said the Administrator... Cyn, I believe? She was apparently something worse than we presumed originally, and I'm very inclined to believe so after yesterday."
"As well as the program tied to the Administrator, the AbsoluteSolver." J clarified before receiving an agreeing nod from Mr. Jenson, standing corrected on his placing of blame.
Raising a hand, Nathan asked about the supposed plans. "Yeah, about this "Solver Project", what do we plan to do about that?"
"Good question, Nate." Tessa replied as she crossed her arms before looking to Jenson and beginning her explanation. "Initially, we were going to investigate the other factories spread across Earth in order to get some more info on the Administrator before things get worse. But, just this morning, it seems someone else saved us the trouble." Just as Tessa neared the end of her sentence, J held up the remote again, tapping a few buttons before the left monitor shifted to show a slightly grainy video onscreen.
The video only showed a single being, a worker drone, dressed in a chrome suit and bearing a set of yellow eyes. Behind them was what appeared to be a vacant room, a few shelves holding many books within them standing still in the back. The drone's visage indicated they were filled with immense anxiety, terrified of being caught as they spoke quietly to the camera.
"I can only hope someone gets this in time, they're gonna be on me once they find out the transmitter screens are down!" Turning the camera, he showed what appeared to be a large factory room, several more of the mysterious conveyor belts like at the factory slotted next to each other. It was hard to discern every detail due to not only the window reflection, but also the dark lighting in the inactive conveyor room. Filming the room beyond, the drone continued. "Dr. Halloway's a madman, he's got more of those stolen drones being brought here and he's going to be overseeing it in the afternoon tomorrow! I've seen what happened back in Nevada, I can't take this any longer! I'm at coordinates ##.######, -###.###### Please, send someo-"
The suspicious, partially scrambled transmission immediately cut off to static, leaving Wade, Tina, and their friends with confused expressions as Tessa spoke up. "Yeah, that caught me by surprise too."
"So, that guy says they got more drones being sent 'there', but... where is there, exactly?" Jasmine asked with immense curiosity.
"I was hoping you'd ask that, Mrs. Fowley." The technician replied as she glanced to J, who tapped a few more buttons on the remote before speaking over her boss-friend.
"While the transmission itself isn't much to work off of, our friends from Comms over here managed to intercept the signal earlier, and even better, discern where it originated from." As J started her explanation, the screen shifted once more to show a large city, with one skyscraper highlighted in red as it was zoomed towards on the screen. "That scrambled audio wasn't a simple glitch, it was intentionally done so as to hide key information for us to uncover. Upon cleaning up the message, we managed to recover a set of coordinates, which direct to this structure here, in San Francisco."
Wade and his friends stared at the building in shock, examining the tall structure as it stood over the shorter buildings in the city. Tina broke the silence in her gaze. "So, this is another factory? It looks... terribly different from the one we got out of."
"Not exactly, Mrs. Fowley." Mr. Jenson answered, Tina and the others looking to him as he continued. "THAT is the Administrator's main laboratory, its location was kept on the down low so other authorities and terrorist groups wouldn't find out what the buildings true purpose was." Sighing, Jenson completed his reply. "But, with this recent mistake of Halloway's, that place has lost all purpose for us at the company."
Wade raised a hand to speak. "So, we're going to pounce on that place? Get Halloway before he runs off again?"
"Exactly." General Hood replied as he looked up to Mr. Jenson. "This whole 'recovery/recruitment' effort has gotten out of hand all across Sol. We've gotten countless reports of people being killed because of this, be it the brutal robberies here in Nevada or the bloodbath on Ceres. Even if Mr. Jenson refuses to cooperate, this has become a dire matter for us now. One way or another, this insanity will be stopped with due haste."
The CEO nodded in acknowledgement before explaining his own plans for the mission. "Speaking of cooperation, upon seeing what was happening at Earth, I ordered a detachment of our corporate starships in orbit at the time to depart for Sol in order to help with investigating the situation. They're not warships, but they are well-armed. I'll dispatch them to your authority upon concluding this call." Glancing to Wade and his team for a moment, Jenson continued. "As for the mission, I may not have much of a say, but let it be known that you have my blessing to do whatever it takes to end this madness. I don't care what you do with Halloway or any of his lackeys, or what happens to that facility down there... I want that program shut down."
"Thank you for the extra hands, Mr. Jenson. We'll make sure this Administrator is dealt with." Hood replied gratefully as Wade sat firm in his seat, Tina and the others following suite.
"General?" The former worker drone said aloud, catching Hood's attention before he made his request. "I know I'm not a soldier, but I want to help with dealing with Halloway and his grunts. After what he did, after losing my brother, I can't rest until I see that man stopped."
Tina raised a finger as well. "As do I, Wade could use a hand with those people, and given how we did during our escape run out of that place, I think the two of us make quite the duo." She glanced to Wade with a smirk as she referenced their combat prowess when flying together.
Nathan and F stood up before the latter gave her own request. "Sir, I wish to take part in this mission as well. I can also recommend Wade for you too, as I fought alongside him during the factory raid."
"Wouldn't mind giving a hand myself! And I'm sure my pal Kurtis would love to help, he's here at the base too!" Nathan added with a confident smirk, the group's determination encouraging Jasmine to stand up as well.
"I'd like to help too." She stated simply, a smile on her face as the general and his companions observed the five guests.
Admittedly, Hood knew it would be a bit absurd to allow these people to take part in an operation which would certainly involve bloodshed, especially considering most of them merely had civilian status at the moment. But, upon careful evaluation of the five, their desire to see this problem dealt with, and the fact that some of them had experience on the field...
He paused his train of thought as Captain Mitchell spoke to him. "General? I read up on the Fowleys' files when we recovered Mrs. Jasmine here, they provided service in their early careers." He smirked to the pilot sisters as he finished adding his say. "And to be frank, we need more people like them here. The records we have of them showed them to be damn fine pilots."
Tina blushed at the praise from Mitchell as she spoke to the general. "That is true, we uh... did get discharged for our... 'fancy maneuvering'."
"Sir?" Jasmine said, the general's attention on her as she added to the conversation. "Even if our flying is a bit out of protocol, Tina saved a lot of people on that starjet a few days back. I can promise you, she's an excellent woman to have at the wheel."
Glancing to Wade again, Hood took in his face, one of begging desperation as he spoke once more. "Please, Sir. My brother, the troops he brought from the Coalition, Halloway's gotten them all killed cause of this. I want to do this. I HAVE to do this, at least for them."
The good general took a deep, quiet breath, considering his decision once more before finally revealing it to Wade and his friends. "Mr. Carter, Fowleys? I'm probably making myself a fool for saying this, but you're permitted to assist us in this mission."
The drone couple contained their gratefulness in the form of ecstatic grins as Wade replied to the general. "Thanks, General. We won't let you down."
"And Mrs. Lee?" Hood said as he glanced to F, who returned the gesture as he told her, "You're technically under Mr. Jenson's authority, whatever his answer is, it's mine as well."
Bringing her yellow-orange eyes to her CEO, F awaited Mr. Jenson's answer. "F, yes? I heard Mr. Hood call you by a different name just now, I assume you have some experience with the army?"
The warrior drone nodded as she explained herself. "I once inherited the name of Felicity Lee, Mr. Jenson. I served under the USN Defense Forces before joining the DD Division." Then, glancing to the military staff near her, she finished with, "I had hoped to provide my enhancements to the Force one day."
Jenson gave a hint of a proud smile as he finally gave his decision. "Well, it seems you'll finally get that chance. From now on, even after this mission on Earth is over with, you're hereby dispatched to serve under the USN."
F admittedly couldn't hide her excited smirk as she flung a salute to her now former boss. "Thank you Sir!"
Looking up to Jenson, General Hood asked the CEO, "Mr. Jenson, how long until your ships can reach Earth?"
Jenson glanced down at his communication console as he answered the military leader. "At max speed, their Ion drives should be able to bring them into orbit in as little as one to two days. I believe there should be some ships within the system that could help as well."
"Signal them when you can, Mr. Jenson. We could use all the help we can get from them." The CEO nodded to Hood as he stood firmly to the viewer, the general turning to face Wade and his colleagues. "And Mr. Carter? We'll be mobilizing our forces immediately after this meeting concludes. It'll be a minute, but I want you to gather whatever items and belongings you'll need for this operation. Be ready to head to the flight pads in no more than three hours."
"Understood Sir!" Wade said with a salute, Tina, Jasmine and Nathan giving their own as Jasmine raised a finger.
"What about the area around the lab? That place looks like it's in the middle of the city."
J raised a finger as she told Jasmine and the others about their resolution of the civilian obstacle. "Shortly after reporting our findings on the transmission, Hood told us that they were sending in some teams to clear out the civilian population within several miles of the facility. Once we get there, it should be of no concern."
Jasmine sighed in relief as Tina spoke up. "So the people should be safe from any sort of danger?"
"Correct, Mrs. Tina." Preston answered before continuing. "Given the resistance Halloway and his men showed during the Coalition's raid, they most certainly won't hold back there."
"One more thing, Sir." Nathan asked. "The Coalition's going to help us out with this too, right?"
"You can count on it, Mr. Nathan." The Vickers' captain replied as he looked to J, then to Jenson as he spoke further. "I met the leader of the Coalition's detachment working with us when I was introduced to J and Mrs. Elliott here, they intend to see this conflict finished. I highly doubt they're willing to sit back and let us do this by ourselves."
"And their help will be much appreciated." Hood added, everyone's attention returned to him as he looked to Tessa, curious eyes scanning her holographic form. "And Mrs. Elliott, if I may. Do you mind heading down here to assist us in our investigations later on?"
"Funny you say that, General. I'm almost done with my own snooping around on the JCJ up in orbit, Cyn has some small departments of hers aboard, and I thought I'd gather some more intel before coming down." Glancing to Mr. Jenson, she saw him giving an understanding nod before returning her gaze to the military staff. "I should be down there by the evening, judging by where you're located."
"Do what you must, Mrs. Elliott. We could use whatever you find." Hood replied firmly as he turned once more to the JCJenson CEO. "Thank you for your time, Mr. Jenson. We will get to the bottom of this."
"It's my pleasure, General." Glancing to J and Tessa, he spoke to them once more. "J? Contact me when you've finished with Halloway and his Administrator."
"It'll be done, Mr. Jenson." The obedient servant answered before saluting firmly, receiving a final nod from her boss before he ended the transmission.
With their off-world guest out of the way, Hood looked to Wade and his friends, J, Tessa and Captain Mitchells sharing the gaze with them as the general spoke to them in finality. "Well, you know what comes next everyone. You're all dismissed for now. And remember, landing zone by 1300."
"We'll be there Sir." Wade said with a nod as he and his friends stood up, pushing in their chairs before making their way out to the door.
As they neared it, Wade stopped for a moment as they heard Hood call to one of his friends. "And F?" The soldier drone looked to the general as he continued. "Before we depart, would you mind changing your uniform? I believe it could help with identifying you from the other disassembly drones more easily." Glancing to J, then back to F, he finished with, "I recall hearing about the most formidable drones having clones prepared, yes?"
"Correct, Sir. I'll stop by the nearest barracks while I can." F replied before turning back to the door with her colleagues, Wade opening the door for them all as they passed through. After them, Wade passed through himself, shutting the door to the meeting room as he returned to the lobby.
Walking about together, F spoke to Wade and the others. "Well, that went smoothly. I'll be heading down to the barracks, then head over to your place to help out."
"Actually," Wade replied, raising a finger up as he asked his fellow murder drone, "You think you could bring your friends over? We could get to know each other while we're getting ready."
F glanced to Nathan with a smile before returning her eyes to Wade. "I could see about that. You're gonna like them, I can promise you that."
Taking Tina's hand, Wade walked with his girlfriend alongside Jasmine and the others, nearing the hallway they came through as they prepared for the walk back to the apartment.

I worked at an all golf course and we get a lot of boomers there. One day I’m picking up a golf cart to wash and it’s next to these guys talking. As I’m jumping in the golf cart the younger guys leave and the boomer says something like “how’s it going young man?” We have that respectful small talk conversation everyone has when being nice. He asked me about school and he happened to have a logo for one school on his car. I asked him is that where he went and he says that’s where his grandkids play baseball. This took a weird turn. He says his grandsons worked hard to get there and it’s not fair people with student loans want their loans discharged when he and his family had to work hard for everything blah blah blah. Then he goes on to say something like it’s also not fair how people are getting hired because of their race and ethnicity. He asked me my name and I have a South American name and I am white but my family is from Brasil. So when he asked me about my background I told him I’m a white Brasilian and he took as if white pride was what I was signaling. He winked and said he knew where I was getting at and then started bringing up politics. He said we need more young people in office. He told me Trump is a son of b!tch but Biden Is worse and the devil. Then explains to me saying how during Trump’s term in office he was making way more in his investment. Then goes on to say we need Trump one last time before we young people start taking over because Biden is ruining the country. It gets crazier because he went on to say “I think the blacks are getting smarter and the Hispanics are getting smarter” stating that they are realizing Trump is what the country needs. He then tips his hat to me and says people my age are making an effort to change this country for the better. I was confused at the whole interaction. I maybe said 25 words in the 20 minute conversation we had.

Chapter 1
Mors
An endless void, silence interlaid with its pitch-darkness, greeted an injured man. No light can be seen, sensations be damned, and consciousness spread thin as though taut in this incomprehensive expanse that laid before him.
Callum fell into the abyss, his mind the only thing left to accompany him. He hasn’t even counted the minutes as his mind is plagued by something else. He never considered himself a man of interest, only scraping by with his odd jobs and part-time salaries, hence why he couldn’t understand his current situation.
Betrayal is something that he is familiar with, whether it be a betrayal of his expectations when a co-worker broke his promise or a betrayal of his emotions when his first love interest cheated on him back in uni. However, this betrayal orchestrated by his best friend whom he’d known for 5 years, and girlfriend for 8 years felt more gut-wrenching than the pain he felt from the stab.
Denial was the first thing that stormed his mind. He couldn’t believe that the two closest people in his life would stab him in the back, literally. There was no build-up, he didn’t suspect a thing, and everything was normal until he found steel in his flesh.
He rejected the notion that his girlfriend, Catherine, would betray him like this, an accomplice to a murder that he can’t grasp the motive of. He has built up some savings, but it isn’t something that would be worth murdering someone for, especially after buying that ring.
He dismissed the thought of Jake being jealous of their relationship as he couldn’t see the guy doing something as stupid as this. He can’t form any rhyme or reason as to why they would do it, and the only possible explanation is that this was all a dream and he was actually still sleeping inside the tent.
But as he waited for himself to wake from this nightmare, only darkness greeted him. He had tried moving his body in this sea of blackness, but the movement only felt like going through molasses with tired arms, which is why he attributed this as being only a dream that he would wake up from, which appeared to be wrong as he waited and waited.
Anxiety crept in as he tried to call out, but no sound escaped his lips. He strained his voice to be heard, yet he can't even hear himself. No light adorned this place, no wind to be heard, and he couldn’t feel anything even though he tried feeling himself.
The pain in his back was forgotten as he tried and tried to move, to scream, to flail senselessly, amounting to nothing as he was greeted by nothing.
Feeling anything in this void is something impossible, and the only thing that he can do is return to his mindscape.
He went back to his oldest memories, back to a time when everything felt oppressive and suffocating. Callum was born into a broken family. His mother and father had gone through a divorce when he was only 6 years old. He could still remember the screaming and yelling of his parents whenever night fell in their sorry state of an apartment.
His father, Eric, having not finished his education after Callum’s birth, has been living as a blue-collar worker in downtown New Jersey. Even during his day-offs, he can’t seem to find rest as he goes to do odd jobs and part-time work to stay afloat. On the other hand, his mother would leave him, a toddler, alone in the apartment.
He remembered her putting CDs in a DVD player so that it could keep his attention on a cartoon that his father introduced him to. If he had anything to describe his mother, she would be irresponsible and narcissistic. She would sometimes bring guys over to their apartment, threatening Callum with divorce if he ever told Eric about it, hence why it took several years until his dad caught on and filed for a divorce.
Eric was determined to take Callum with him, he argues that he could take care of his child better than Callum’s mother. But his mother and her twisted pride can’t let go of Callum, which leads to a legal dispute between the two.
The court hearings went on for several months, with each passing day being a lot more hellish for Callum. He was subjected to further insults by his mother as she knew that leaving bruises on her child would lower her chances of winning over the court to her side. Sometimes, she would go as far as manipulate him, gaslighting him into believing that she was a good mother who would take care of him better than his father. But after seeing that the court favors Eric’s side more, his mother took drastic measures to satisfy her wounded pride.
It was the second to the last day of the court hearing, and it was during this time that his father was working overtime. Callum had just gone home from his elementary school, feeling tired as he hauled his bag over his shoulders up the multiple flights of stairs he had to climb to get to their apartment.
As he neared his home, he steeled himself and opened the door, only to be met with overturned tables and broken ceramics. He walked quietly through the scene, afraid that someone might hear him entering his home. Looking back on it now, Calum can’t help himself but laugh at his stupidity. He could have gone and alerted their neighbors, or gone back downstairs to wait for his father, but being a child, Callum doesn’t know what to do.
As he entered his room, he saw black words spray painted on the walls, the meaning eluding him as he didn’t know what it meant since he was 7 at the time, but remembering it now sent shivers down his spine.
The words “This is what you get!” on a torn wallpaper are ingrained in his mind. Seeing the manic letters sprayed over the walls gave Callum anxiety, taking a few steps back towards the open front door of their apartment. Escape was now on his mind as he grew scared of what was to come, something that was far too late as he heard his mother behind him.
It was there that everything turned into a blur. He remembered snippets of yelling and crying both from himself and his mother. He remembered his mother forcing something down his throat. He remembered his father coming home early that day and restraining his mother, a crazy look in her eyes. He remembered the feeling of nausea and the floor colored with his lunch. And he remembered the sirens, red and blue lights dancing in his vision as he was carried to a stretcher. The last thing he remembered was his father crying, holding his hands tightly when he opened his tired eyes.
For the next few days, he learned from the news that his mother attempted a double suicide. The story goes, after losing the custody battle, the mother planned to take revenge by ending the lives of both her child and herself. They said that he got lucky as the neighbors had contacted Eric when his mother turned their home upside down, relating it to a possible home invasion. If not for him, Callum would have died from nicotine poisoning after his mother forced tobacco down his gullet, a morbid story that he uses as a joke during his time at work.
He remembered being inside that hospital for days on end, his body recovering from the poison his mother left him with, and his father was there almost every day even though he had to work to pay the hospital bills. After what felt like forever was he allowed to be discharged, going back to the same refurbished apartment that they lived in, but after seeing how Callum had recurring nightmares and trauma attached to the place, they decided to move to Pennsylvania. A hard decision that needed to be made as his father would put it.
Everything after the whole incident was better for Callum. His father got a job as a mover, still doing some part-time work here and there, and Callum did his best in school so as not to burden his father with more work. Even though they lived in a rundown shack handed to them by one of the locals, they didn’t mind as they knew that getting to live at all was better than what they had before.
Callum smiled in the abyss as he reminisced about his time with his father. He was a great man, a good role model for anyone who came across him. He is kind-hearted and considerate, a hard worker that makes him popular among his peers. It was them that helped move him and his father out of New Jersey and found them a place to sleep in, teaching Callum that socializing and connecting with like-minded people goes a long way when someone needs it.
For the next few years, Callum lived happily. Though there were some ups and downs, he and his father got through it, which is why the memory of his time in university was depressing.
Eric, after having saved some money, gave Callum the go-ahead to enroll in a university in California. But after attaining an athletic scholarship in football, Callum gave his father a surprise to ease his worries and stress. Callum felt bad every time he saw his father work, hence why he tried his hardest to take some of that workload to give him a break. With the tuition being lowered with the scholarship, Callum could give the rest of the money back to his dad. A gesture that was fully gratified as his father had a hard time letting him go when the time came to move over to the university. But it was during this time that tragedy struck.
It was his fourth year in studying anthropology when he heard the news from one of his father’s friends, Robby. After hearing it, he grew distressed and worried, taking a lot of convincing from Robby to keep Callum from moving back to Pennsylvania.
His father has gone missing. The news had spread amongst his co-workers and friends, and a search team was already being dispatched to find him. Even though Callum tried to keep his focus on studying, he couldn’t help but feel agitated as days went by without news of his father being seen. His mental state plummeted, and he grew withdrawn from reality as days turned to weeks, his father still gone.
He could still remember the times when he locked himself in the school’s library, searching the web to find any news or reports of his father's whereabouts, but as he searched for days on end, only one thing kept popping up from the newsletters. His father, Eric Hurst Foster, went missing in his own home. There were no struggles in the house, the CCTV didn’t see him on any of the roads or stores in the town they lived in, he just seemed to have vanished into thin air.
The news ate away at Callum, and his friends that he’d made during the time gave their support to keep him from spiraling out of control. However, even with their support, Callum’s worries over his dad never went away, hence why he threw himself into work. Going to part-time jobs and studying is the only way to keep his mind from blowing. He did this until he finished university and found a job to stay afloat.
This went on for years until he’s come to accept that his father may never be found. With nothing to ground him in their old home, he decided to explore the world, thinking that one day, he might find a lead to the whereabouts of his dad.
Months turned to years as he worked tirelessly in multiple jobs. From being a mechanic, electrician, cook, waiter, and many more to count, Callum went on a work frenzy. He made a plan to scour the states as a freelancer, living in his BMW pick-up truck that was given to him by one of his friends. He stayed in each state for a few months, meeting new people and making some friends along the way. They sent their well wishes to Callum as they knew that he was still trying to find his missing father.
Years went by as he made his way back to California. He had gone and explored every state, and yet no news of his father came to light. The case had gone cold, and it was up to Callum to find any clues to this mystery. His mind has told him to give up the search, and multiple friends have given him consolation as they knew that his father would never be found, but Callum persevered.
It was during this time that he found himself as a mover, the same job that his father had before he disappeared. He had just come back to California after getting the job, and he was about to go check in for his first day when a sudden downpour of rain covered the skies of the city. It was only coincidental that he was near that coffee shop, and it was coincidental that only two customers were present there. He and his future girlfriend turned accomplice to his murder.
The rest of his memories went by as he continued to float in the abyss. From the time of their first years in a relationship to meeting Jake for the first time in that apartment to when he taught PE and History in a school in Minnesota. Everything went by as Callum went from one memory to another until he felt something.
A chill ran down his spine as an indescribable dread manifested in his mind. He knew not why he felt this way, and he felt himself tearing at the seams as a slit of light showed itself in the void. He was then pulled into the light, senses coming back after he spent his time in the abyss for what felt like days. And with a flash, he is back in the same hunched-over position he was in when he was stabbed in the back.
Callum can’t help but laugh as he finally could see again. Trees surrounded his vision, with wild grass carpeting the ground. But before he could truly see the world, he felt a sharp pain in his back. With his body remembering that he was injured, he felt himself sweat profusely as he bled, painting the flowers under him red. And yet he didn’t panic.
After all that time reminiscing, he finally gave in and let death come to him. He fell on his back, sending another wave of pain coursing through his body, cursing under his breath as he regretted not laying himself down slowly. And as he looked to the sky, he felt himself getting colder and colder.
Callum felt at peace as he stared at the clouds above him. The sound of the wind and the rustling of leaves helped him come to terms that he was truly dying. He’d thought about death a lot. During his time when he was a kid, and when he was depressed after his father went missing. But the peace he felt for only a few moments as emotions came crashing down.
He felt himself tear up as he came to terms with his current situation. He would never have a chance to marry the girl in his life. He would never have a chance to have his own children and see them grow. He would never have a chance to be a father. And he would never have a chance to grow old with the people he loved around him.
As he thought of these things, the floodgates opened. Streams of tears fell down his cheeks as he sobbed in his dying state. He could only put his hands over his eyes to stop it from flowing, an action that felt challenging as his body became fatigued from all the blood loss. The crying only hastened his death as he felt his breath escape him, his lungs labored and filled with blood as the stab had punctured it.
Minutes went by as Callum felt himself grow tired and tired. And as he closed his eyes, Callum’s heart slowed and slowed as his body has a lack of blood to pump. His breathing grew shallower with each second until his body gave way and stopped altogether.
Callum died at the age of 34, stabbed in the back by his best friend with his girlfriend being an accomplice for his murder. He died from blood loss as his body colored the ground red.
Callum waited and waited to feel his consciousness fade as he welcomed death to greet him. And as the second grew…
'…Wait.'
His consciousness never faded away.

I first started noticing that something was wrong around 3 months ago. At the time, I was working from home and would usually light a scented candle while I worked, which usually helped me relax and stay focused on my work. I would usually burn through a candle a week, but over time, the candles started to take less time to fully burn up. At first, I thought that this was because of a change in ingredients the company that made the candles used, but the problem persisted after I switched candle brands, which I once again blamed on the candle manufacturers.
I kept this belief for another week until the first incident. While getting up from my computer desk, which faces away from the candle, to take a quick bathroom break, I caught a glimpse of the lit candle. A two-inch layer of molten wax rested on another three-inch layer of solid wax, the wicks rising out at first and being somewhat visible through the molten layer, finally breaking the surface and being slowly burned away. The flames flickered as I swung the door open and walked out of the room. When I returned 10 minutes later, the molten layer was gone, and the wicks had been shortened so that the flames rested right above the solid layer of the wax. At first, I thought that the glass jar that contained the candle was leaking, but after a short inspection, I was only able to find two small drops of candle wax that had solidified right next to the candle on the bedside table. I still had 2 hours of work left to do, but I was too lost in thought and was unable to do any work for the rest of the day.
Every night before I go to sleep, I like to read for at least 30 minutes, and while reading, I usually light a candle. Around 4 days later, I had mostly forgotten about the incident and went back to using candles. Due to my naivety, it returned.
I fell asleep while reading with a candle lit on my bedside table. I woke up to loud slurping noises. As I opened my eyes, the brightness of the light I had not turned off almost blinded me. As my eyes tried to readjust to the light and focus on what was in front of me, I saw a somewhat humanoid dark gray to light blue blur that contrasted with the white paint on the walls behind it. Another gray line stretched from the shape's head to the candle on my bedside table. I could feel my heart skip five consecutive beats. I opened my mouth and tried to force out a scream for help, but the pressure I applied to my throat was way beyond what it was able to handle, leading me to only produce a light wheezing sound. I tried to sit up or to at least prop myself up, but my muscles failed me. Trying to push myself up with my arms felt impossible. As I stared at the figure that had suddenly appeared in my room, my eyes finally managed to focus, making it possible for me to see the intruder who was now staring at me. The figure was a man at least 7 feet tall, fully naked; he looked bloated; his eyes were bloodshot and looked like they would pop out of their sockets; at any point, his skin was a grayish light blue.
HIS LIPS
His lips extended from his mouth like an elephant's trunk, which had been split in half. The lips extended from the man's face to the candle; the flames had been put out. He was using his lips as a makeshift straw, slowly sucking up all the molten wax from the candle, which had fully liquified while I was asleep. I laid in bed, unable to move, unable to scream for help, staring until he emptied the jar. His lips retracted back to his face, the molten wax solidifying on their tips and cracking, flakes of wax falling off the man's lips and falling to the floor. The man grinned, staring at me. The ridges and gaps between the teeth were filled in with wax, making it impossible to make out where one tooth ended and the next one began. The man opened the door he was standing next to, but instead of walking out of the room, he stepped behind it. His face peered at me from above the door, and then once again, like he had done to drink the wax, the man puckered his lips, which stretched from his mouth and floated to me. I shook and tried to roll over away from him. I wanted to get up and run, but my fear had taken over my body. Tears flowed from my eyes. He kissed me on the cheek, leaving flakes of wax and light moisture. He retracted his lips and lowered his head behind the door.
I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, I saw the empty glass jar, which at one point contained the candle. Even though I had hoped that what had happened was a dream, it wasn't. I still had flakes of wax on my cheek, and on my bedroom floor, the wax in the jar had disappeared. I called the police, but they were unable to find anyone in my apartment; they also could not find any evidence of a break-in.
After the break-in, I started looking for a new apartment to move to, thinking that the man was tied to the building I was in, but even though I had thrown out all of my candles, I could not stomach spending another hour in my apartment, constantly looking over my shoulder or walking around with my back pressed up against the wall to not allow it to creep up on me. Thankfully, my friend Emma was able to let me stay over at her apartment while I looked for a new one for myself.
Me and Emma have been friends since we were 8, and we've been there to support each other when times get rough. This isn’t the first time I've had to stay over at her house for an extended amount of time; in fact, I have had to stay over at Emma’s as many times as she has had to stay over at my apartment, whether it was because of evictions after losing a job, breakups, or a candle wax drinking squatter. I didn't even know if it was human. I mean, sure, it looked like one, but human lips are not supposed to do what his did, and somehow it didn't have a reaction to molten wax being poured down its esophagus. I didn't tell Emma about what happened—the details at least—I just told her that a man had broken into my house and was watching me sleep. The only people I told the truth to were my therapist and the cops, and all of them disregarded what I told them as my mind making things up after a traumatic event.
For a while, I believed what they said—I mean, why wouldn’t I?—but then I started seeing him again. For a few days, I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me again like it had done during the night of the incident. For split seconds out of the corner of my eye, I would see the outline of a tall, bloated figure. At first, they were hours apart, but after a while, it became constant. He was standing in each room I passed, in every single dark corner I glanced past, and then he spoke.
“FeeD MeEeee”
It stood in the kitchen, peering over from a small gap between the fridge and the sink, where the trash can that had been knocked over onto its side usually stood. His voice was raspy, and every word that came out of his mouth was distorted as if he were gargling water, but still, I could somehow clearly make out each word he said from over 15 feet away.
“Please just leave me alone I… why are you following me?”
I shouted at the figure, the same fear that had taken over my body during the night I saw him for the first time paralyzing me, making it impossible for me to move anything other than my eyes, eyelids, and mouth.
“i’M sTarviNg, I nEEd You To FeEd ME”
It replied again. Now, stepping out from behind the fridge, he stepped directly onto a rotten banana. Its mushy brown content’s seeping out of the peel under the pressure of his decomposing foot, which was covered in scabs, and took up the same grayish light blue color as the rest of his body. He mostly looked the same; his bloodshot eyes bulged from their sockets, but now his tongue was swollen. It peeked out from between his bloated, cracked gray lips; it stared at me, waiting for an answer.
“Ok, I’ll.. I’ll feed you, but please just... leave me alone.”
I replied, the tone of my voice shifting into high-pitched squeals with every quick breath I took. He looked satisfied by my response. He somehow squeezed his bloated body back into the gap that was at least four times smaller than him. After peering over at me from above the fridge, he bent over backwards, his spine releasing a series of sickening cracks until he was fully obscured by the fridge, and then he vanished.
Still barely in control of my body, I limped over to the couch tucked away in the back corner of the living room, it took me at least 10 minutes to steady my breathing and 20 more to fully regain control of my body again but as soon as I did I ran out the house and to the nearest store, during the 15-minute walk he stared at me through dark windows and the backs of cars, peered out at me from gaps between leaves in the trees and bushes, he even followed me into the store staring at me from the middle of deserted isles before disappearing right before my eyes were able to fully catch him, once I finally got the candles I randomly picked four off of the shelves and rushed to the self checkout.
When I arrived home, I had 2 hours before Emma got off work. I didn't want to feed it while she was home, and I didn't want her to see it. I pulled out two of the candles from the black plastic bag and placed them on the kitchen table, the first a light blue candle named “Garden Rain” and the second a red candle named “Juicy Watermelon." I pulled out a lighter from one of the drawers Emma used after her stove stopped lighting on its own and lit each of the 6 wicks on the candles. As soon as I started seeing the wax melt under the heat of the burning wicks, I dropped the lighter onto the table next to the candles and ran out of the room. I could not stomach seeing that thing again; even just thinking about it made me shudder and hyperventilate. The paralyzing fear that seeing him caused me made me want to vomit.
At least 30 minutes later I started to hear it drink even though the living room and kitchen were separated by a wall, even though I had closed the door I could still hear what at first started as slurping sounds which were followed up by loud gulps, then it stopped, and once again 30 minutes later it started drinking, as the slurping started once again I heard the door to the apartment crack open, it was Emma, as she stepped through the door I saw her carrying two large brown paper bags of groceries in her hands, she was headed to the kitchen.
“Hey let me grab those for you”
I said running over to her, my voice shaking.
“Oh, thanks. Are you… okay, you look scared?”
My eyes shot wide open in a mixture of fear and surprise. I said the first thing that came to mind.
“Yeah just umm… I didn't expect you to come home so early and I got a bit spooked”
“shit sorry, I know I should have called you, work let me off early today,”
I started to turn away from her walking to the kitchen.
Trying to keep her away from the kitchen I told her to wait for me in the living room because I wanted to talk to her about something. I didn't know what I would talk to her about but that was a problem for future me to resolve, somehow it worked.
“What's that sound?”
She called out to me while walking towards the living room couch. It took me a few seconds to come up with an excuse.
“I think it’s the sink, or the pipes at least”
I opened the door to the kitchen with my eyes closed at first hesitant to look knowing what would be greeting me. slowly prying my eyes open I started to see its outline, my muscles started to lose strength as the details of the man came into my view, I felt the grocery bags start to slip from my arms, my knees buckled, face first I fell onto the kitchen floor scattering the groceries all over the floor, I mixture of a light scream and a yelp escaped from my mouth as my body made contact with the floor, Emma concerned for my safety ran into the kitchen, she didn't scream, using all of the strength and mobility I had left in my muscles I rolled over expecting to see her face drenched in terror, her body frozen still unable to move just like my body had done the first time that I saw him, but Emma looked concerned, the man was gone, she crouched down beside me.
“Oh my god are you ok? What happened?”
I looked around observing my surroundings.
“I um… I… I tripped on the little thing at the bottom of the doorframe”
I finally managed to blurt out another excuse, not being able to remember what the name of a door sill was. I started to sit up using a part of the energy that had returned to my body, pain pulsed through my chest and arms, Emma looked at me with a concerned face.
“You've been acting really weird since I got home, are you sure you're ok?”
“Yeah… I think I’m just having one of those days you know”
The confusion on Emma’s face said that she didn’t know and to be honest I didn't either, I guess my luck of pulling random excuses out of my ass ran out, Emma thought that she triggered some sort of PTSD response after barging into the house unannounced at first apologizing then trying to change the subject to stop my trembling which I was still unsuccessfully trying to hide from her.
“Did you buy candles?”
Emma asked picking the groceries apart from the garbage that spilled out the can that the man had knocked over, placing them on the table next to the now half-empty glass jars, the flames flickered above the inch or so of molten wax the man was unable to finish drinking.
“Yeah I’ve been struggling with work lately, they usually help me focus”
“Huh Interesting combination you’ve got going on here”
She looked at me and smiled slightly, I smiled back and chuckled to seem normal.
“Yeah even I don't know what I was trying to accomplish here, to be honest”
I tried to help Emma clean up the spilled groceries but she did not let me, she told me that I needed to recover like I had been in a car crash instead of having taken a little tumble. After a few seconds of silence, Emma spoke again.
“Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?”
A quick jolt of stress shot through my body, in a jumbled mess of lies and fear I had forgotten what I had told Emma, I sat there in silence for a few seconds unable to come up with an excuse
“I…umm… I don’t remember, it wasn't anything serious though”
“Damn did you hit your head too?”
She said once again proudly smiling at her joke.
At this point Emma picked up the last bag of potato chips from the floor and placed it on the table, then she opened the fridge and started loading the groceries into it.
“Anyway I gotta go get back to work’’
I blurted out after a few more seconds of awkward silence.
“Alright well good luck”
I walked over into the living room and sat down in front of my workstation, which now consisted of a laptop sitting on a small foldable TV tray that had just barely enough room left on it to fit a small USB mouse.
The last thing I remember, before I fell asleep, was me mindlessly scrolling through apartment listings while Emma watched a random 90’s horror movie I’m positive only had a budget of $500.
I woke up with a light stinging pain shooting through my dry throat, and a dim hissing sound caused by thousands of water drops striking the ground outside filled the room. I pressed the spacebar on my laptop, the brightness of the screen blinding me temporarily, after taking a few seconds to let my eyes readjust I managed to make out the time, 3:45 AM. A strong smell I was unable to make out the origin of assaulted my nostrils. Lavender.
The smell hitting my nose had the same effect on me that I would expect smelling salts would have on a weightlifter right before they set a world record. Before I knew it my legs were moving on their own at an almost uncontrollable pace, fighting back against my mind which was telling them to slow down after years of being used to navigating both mine and Emma’s apartment as steadily as possible to not bother the neighbors.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity I stood before Emma’s bedroom door, a faint, yellow, pulsating light radiated from a lamp and snuck out of a small gap between the door and the doorframe, reluctantly I pushed my left hand up against the door, my right hand grasping onto the door frame for a sense of stability, once the door was fully agape I scanned the inside of the room my heart skipping a beat for every humanoid shadow cast up onto the wall by the lights from the wicks which were set ablaze and were being slowly burnt away.
I walked into Emma’s room and made my way over to her bedside table to put out the candle, as I stepped closer towards her, her face became more defined, I could finally make out her features, she was awake, but no she could not have been, even though her eyes were wide open they never blinked, she didn't even move slightly, as I moved closer I finally managed to fully make out the expression of pure terror on her face, her mouth wide agape as if she was about to release a deafening screach, but she could not have, a single drop of solidified wax dribbled out of the corner of her mouth and clung to her cheek, my eyes traced the cream colored path back towards her mouth, first up her cheek then between the corner of her mouth and finally behind her teeth, there instead of her tongue or the roof of her mouth I saw a wall of wax which had filled in the entirety of her mouth.
I fell to my knees and hunched forward supporting my body weight with my arms, I was too late, I resisted the urge to vomit and got back up onto my feet, a mixture of tears and snot slid down my face and onto my lips, shaking now I slowly started limping over towards my phone which I had left on the couch next to where I had awoken just minutes before, just minutes before my life was destroyed because of my lies if I had just told Emma what I had gone through, if I had just told her what had happened on the night of the incident which now seemed trivial, even if she thought that I was crazy, I know that she would have complied just to make me feel comfortable.
It took me at least 30 seconds of repeated attempts to stabilize my hands enough to properly dial 911. “Someone broke into my apartment and hurt my friend” was the only reasonable explanation I could come up with that would not get the operator to hang up on me thinking that this was a prank call.
I sat there in the living room for an agonizing 10 minutes, crying, my sadness slowly transformed into anger towards myself, and my mind raced thinking of all the lies I’d told, I kept thinking that if I had just told her the truth she would not have been laying there in her bed, her body bloated, “every single orifice has signs of forced penetration and has been filled with what seems to be candle wax” is what was written on her autopsy report.
For a few days I was the main suspect in Emma’s murder, but due to the almost unstoppable crying and the unresponsive state that I was in when the police arrived, mixed with the lack of evidence of me having a way to produce 30 pounds of candle wax led to me being released out of police custody, but because I was the main suspect I was not told any details about what had fully happened to Emma, for days all I had to work off of was the image of her face frozen in terror, and a short glance I caught of her bloated body as she was being carted out on a stretcher.
I recounted every single word of our last conversations over and over again until they became permanently etched into my brain.
Emma’s parents originally wanted to cremate her, as that is what she had somewhat jokingly asked for whenever the topic of funerals came up, well she had joked about wanting to have had unpopped popcorn shoved down her throat before she was sent off to “scare the shit out of the guy cremating me” but due to all the wax which would have been impossible to get out of her body they were forced to bury her.
A few days before Emma’s funeral her body disappeared.
After Emma’s death, her parents took me into their home, after reading the autopsy reports and seeing her corpse they had thrown out every single candle they owned which made their home the safest choice I had, still, this did not stop me from buying a machete and keeping it under my bed, just in case.
I was laying on the bed in their guest bedroom The day that the police informed Emma’s parents about her disappearance, the bedroom is right above the front porch of the house, at first I heard them ring the doorbell which was followed up by 3 powerful knocks on the door, for about a minute I laid there on the bed listening to muffled voices exchanging distorted words I was barely able to make out which slowly transformed into distorted weeps, curious I lifted myself up from the bed, made my way over to the window and carefully lifted the bottom panel making Shure to not make too much noise, the distorted muffled sounds started forming into coherent words “We checked the security footage but the only strange thing we could see was a 5 second time jump” one of the officers spoke in a serious and almost monotone voice “which meant that the security guard who was the only person in the building had to climb down 2 flights of stairs walk through a 40 foot long hallway and then drag her body back up stairs and out of the building in 5 seconds” Emma’s mom let out yelp “ but don’t worry ma'am that’s actually good news because we know that her corpse is still somewhere within the building and was probably brought to the wrong floor by an intern, we’ve already warned all of the staff at the hospital to keep an eye out, and we also sent 5 officers to search the hospital”
I could not believe what I was hearing, my breathing quickened, but this time instead of fear I felt anger, that fucker stole her corpse and was probably in the weird separate plane of existence he always went back to after terrorizing me, cutting off chunks of her body, melting her, and drinking her.
I closed the window Emma’s mom's cries once again turned into a muffled rumble which was only possible to make out if you knew what to look for, I took a few steps back away from the window planning to lay back down, not wanting to bother Emma’s parents. I bumped into something, not something, someone, its fleshy towering form as solid as a wall sent me tumbling forward, I knew it was him, he had returned to take me too, to stretch his swollen cracked lips, push them down my esophagus, fill my lungs and stomach with wax. But despite all of that this time I was not scared, I was angry, and I was not going to stand there in terror like I had the last time I saw him.
I fell forward onto my knees my face missing the window sill just by mere inches, I put my hands onto the floor, lifted one of my knees, and rotated 180 degrees now facing the monster, to the right of him pushed up against the wall was the bed, light from the sun reflected off of the metallic button which kept my machete in it’s sheathe, the man started to stretch his lips, they were moving towards me, waving a wiggling through the air like a snake slithering towards me.
I dove towards the bed one of my feet pushing off of the floor and the other pushing against the wall which creaked under the pressure applied to it, I flew for a few moments before slamming down onto the carpet and sliding forward, the heat generated by my skin brushing against the carpet released a sharp stinging pain throughout my body, my outstretched arm landed just a few inches short of the machete, I quickly bent my arms, pushing my body up and crawled towards the machete. my fingers wrapped around the handle I spun around, my back pushed up against the bedside table, once again facing the man, he was still facing the window but his lips faced me and were just a few feet away from me, for what felt like minutes but was most likely no longer than a second, I struggled to hook my finger under the strap securing the machete into its sheath, as the lips inched towards me the man started producing gurgling noises, he was regurgitation wax.
I finally pulled the machete out of its sheath, I swung the blade at the man's lips, the blade was not met with any resistance as it sliced through the man’s lips which landed on the carpeted floor with an audible thud, the man did not have a physical reaction to my counter-attack, his lips kept creeping towards me, once again I slashed at the lips, still no reaction, I repeated this at least 3 more times.
I wanted to kill him, I wanted to take revenge for what he had done to Emma, but fighting back was pointless. I realized that no matter how much I tried to hurt it, I could not kill him, I could not get rid of him.
My rage dissipated and a mixture of fear and sadness crept in, and soon took over my body, I screamed for help, I screamed in fear, in agony, tears streamed down my face as the man's lips finally reached my face, he wasn’t met with any resistance as his lips snuck between mine, pried my jaw open and finally started to slide down my esophagus.
I heard the cops run up the stairs, they started banging on the door asking if I was okay only to have been met with muffled screams, hot wax started to pour down inside of me, the stinging pain of the heat made me want to plunge the machete which I had dropped onto the ground next to me into my stomach to create a gaping wound that the wax would hopefully funnel out of, the texture of the man's slippery, oily lips matched with the poison like flavor of the wax caused me to start gagging, I felt my insides bulging like at any moment my intestines would have been filled to the point where they would pop, I wanted to vomit, the drain myself of the filth I was filled with, but his lips had plugged my throat not allowing anything to get out.
Hearing my muffled screams the cops started kicking the door down, the man retracted his lips, the suction aided my attempts at cleansing my insides, I got onto my hands and knees streams of molten wax pouring out of me, solidifying on the the carpet, with another loud thud the door swung open slamming into the wall, the man was gone.
That’s the last thing I remember before I passed out, but according to one of the doctors who was in the ambulance that brought me to the hospital, I was still semi-responsive during the first 10 minutes of the ride to the hospital.
Approximately 13.4 pounds of wax were removed from my body, the doctors said that I was in a critical condition and some of them did not expect me to make it.
One of the officers who was there the day the man attacked me took a report of what had happened to me, due to the unmistakable evidence of what had happened to both me and Emma, and the fact that this was the 3rd instance of me reporting something like this the police finally started investigating who this man might have been.
Around a month later I was discharged from the hospital and once again have been staying in the living room of Emma’s parent's house.
I’ve been seeing the man again, candles were not allowed in the hospital I stayed at, which means that he’s probably very hungry, he’s close to attacking me again, I know it, he wants to finish what he started and I don't know if I have the power to fight back, I’m not sure if defeating him is even possible, I’m tired.
I’ve been seeing Emma too, her bloated, reanimated corpse often appears to be standing next to the man. If I let him take me will I get to join them? I’ve tried asking but they don’t answer, they just stare, I can’t keep living in constant fear, always looking over my shoulder, I miss Emma.

https://preview.redd.it/9gaiads1zo1d1.png?width=1108&format=png&auto=webp&s=74c8ee123fa943289b9a1f4aa3aa18b8fd3a63cf
This is my first endless run that I've gotten off the ground. Tapu discharge + groudon is the easy combo for double battles so far. I'm on 774 right now and everything has gone smoothly, but I'm worried that I'm in trouble against floor 1000 because [SPOILER]
I heard Eternatus has black hole and flamethrower at that point. Can I brute force him with this team? Is there anything I need to do until then to get ready? Not sure how I could even get all the berries off my mons at this point. You can see my luck is quite low and I haven't rolled any splicers. I don't want to just insta wipe at 1000 but is it just doomed?

I’m 16 year old. I have a PCOS at the early young age, in my first years of my period. My bf and I has been sexually active when I turned 16 years old, and always use condoms ( but still have a pregnancy scare every month + we know how to use condom and practice safe sex ) I do really have an irregular period where in the whole one year I only bleed once, not until I get checked up by my OB and she handled me duphaston and mypcos supplement for the whole three months.
I DO NOT HAVE ANY SYMPTOMS EXCEPT BLOATING BECAUSE EVER SINCE I DISCOVERED THAT I HAVE PCOS I’M REALLY BLOATING SO BAD.
Suddenly after i’ve taken my medicine over the past few months. my period got lighter and lighter one i’ve stopped my supplements and medications, as the months passed by. I’m overthinking right now because this month i’ve only have 5-6 days straight of black discharge ( one day after my ovulation occurs ) but sometimes brown or dark red but can’t fill up my pad ( only one full line that fills up my pad ) but once that i’ve already peed there’s a lot of blood clots ( not that big ) but many blood clots right after I take peed. Also once I wiped out my vagina, there’s a kind of red blood and there’s this one article that makes me feel so nervous about “ Cryptic Pregnancies “
How should I get be checked up? And do I really have a period, a black discarge, or an implantation bleeding?

Good afternoon,
UK based 15 year old daughter has been struggling with hypermobility symptoms for 2 years. She has been seen many times by her GP, has been referred to paediatrics, seen a consultant, had lots of bloods, x-rays etc. only to be told she's hypermobile. Physio discharged her saying they couldn't help. She has just been referred to physiotherapy again now.
The real problem is the pain. It started with feeling like her knees were dislocating or going out of alignment, and would get sharp pains. Over time, this has come to affect every joint. She really struggles with her hips, knees, wrists, fingers, elbows and shoulders. She takes the adult dose of paracetamol and ibuprofen daily, sometimes only two hours in between. She uses ice and heat. Sometimes the pain comes on all of a sudden when she's not moving, and explains them as sharp stabbing pains in her joints.
She's an academic at school, and is now struggling to stay at school because the pain gets so bad and she becomes quite immobile. She is now at 91% attendance and has never previously fallen below 98.
Most recently there seems to be some neurological symptoms, like twitching and stammered speech. This is quite intermittent.
Rheumatology at Oxford won't see her as her blood markers are good and she has HSD diagnosis. Pain clinic locally won't see her due to age, so she has been referred to Oxford, but they can't see her until November.
This is having a severe effect on her mental health and I really want to help her. She is a black belt in martial arts which she has now had to give up. She feels a burden to her friends. Her education is suffering, and most of all, she shouldn't feel so much pain at this age.
Apologies for any typos as I've typed this rant before I leg it from work to collect her from school again, and thanks in advance for helpful advice.

Strategies you can use to fight back against gangstalking
1) Direct Confrontation: You could literally confront them and ask them why they are gangstalking you. That would be the direct confrontation route. They will feign ignorance and pretend they've never heard of gangstalking and try to make you sound and feel crazy. You can reaffirm by letting them know that you know gangstalking is real, and that you'd like for them to leave you alone. Let them know that you can put a restraining order on them if they keep following you around.
2) Indirect Confrontation: You could indirectly confront them, maybe be friendly and introduce yourself and ask directions or something. Try and glean some more details from them that way. Tell them, "You look real familiar to me. I feel like I've seen you somewhere else? Were you at XYZ last Friday? And maybe ABC a couple of weeks ago? It's a weird coincidence. I keep seeing you around". Try to make them uncomfortable by mentioning multiple places you've seen them at. See if they start sweating or show any signs of being nervous. If they start tugging at their ear or nose or look away while answering you, you can be sure they are lying.
3) Intimidation: You could also start staring them down to intimidate them. That's basically what I did to get my gangstalking to stop a LONG time ago. There was this super tall CIA Agent looking guy at the grocery store, and I knew he was following me. So I stared him down, and he got real nervous and smiled and grabbed a bundle of bananas real quick and ran off. Maybe having big scary looking pitbulls or rotwilers with you at all times while walking outside could help with intimidation. Or you could literally start open carrying a firearm around on your belt.
4) Ignore / They Don't Exist: You can also completely ignore them and pretend they don't exist and not let their presence bother you.
5) Kill With Kindness: Or you can kill them with kindness by smiling and waving at them and being friendly whenever you see them. Keep in mind that frequency weapons are being used on gangstalkers to remove their empathy, though. This was confirmed by the whistleblower named Bryan Kofron. So any methods intended to appeal to the gangstalker's humanity and empathy will likely be ineffective. However, never underestimate the powers of charisma and human decency. Most gangstalkers were forced into that profession by being victimized and gangstalked themselves to begin with.
Basically, you don't want to let them intimidate you or get you to change your life in any negative way. One goal of the targeted individual program is to essentially make you a prisoner in your own house and in your own mind. That's part of why I've started going for walks at the park almost every day lately. They don't want you to have a healthy social life or to have any social support structure whatsoever. The end goal is basically to get you in the crazy house. The whole program is designed to drive you insane and make you LOOK insane to your friends and family. Really, the only people you can talk about this openly with are those of us who know this is real already. The police and FBI are in on it. They absolutely will not help you whatsoever. They will gaslight you and pretend they have never even heard of gangstalking. That's because they are in on it.
Researching and discussing conspiracies like 9/11 was what got me put on the targeted individual list. I posted my theory of 9/11 on Abovetopsecret back in 2010. Someone on the forum threatened me and my whole family in a cryptic way to try and silence me. I didn't sleep for a whole week pretty much. Then, around 5am one morning while walking my dog, an FBI looking black Lincoln Town car drove by me. While it drove by, it rolled down the back window that was facing me. There was nobody in the backseat, but the message was well received. One night not too long after that, the walls of my bedroom started vibrating and buzzing for no apparent reason. My girlfriend at the time was absolutely frightened and asked me what that was. I just told her I didn't know since I really had no idea at the time. But now I realize that was the radio frequency mind control weapons being broadcast at us.
By the way, my relationship of 4 years ended shortly after that. I now realize that my girlfriend had been turned against me with frequency weapons. She started acting strange and in sort of a subliminal manner she would be mean to me for no reason. When she moved out, she was absolutely devastated and she seemed desperate to get back together but her pride prevented her from saying anything about it. When she broke up with me, it was like I was talking to a completely different person. She crossed her arms and told me not to touch her ever again. It felt like she was an actor in a movie or something. Like I mentioned with gangstalkers, her empathy was completely removed and she wasn't the same person anymore.
To this day I'm still single almost 14 years later. I had started to suspect that the perpetrators were finding out which women I was pursuing and were bombarding them with negative thoughts about me via electromagnetic radio frequency based mind control weapons. One lady who I know online confirmed this to me. She told me that one time she went to sit down at her computer specifically to talk with me. As soon as she sat down, she said she heard a loud ringing frequency tone in her ear, and she got very irritated and had the sudden impulse to stand back up and not talk to me. She said another time she heard nothing BUT the ringing in her ears, all other sounds stopped registering. And now it has been six months since she mysteriously stopped talking to me altogether. We never fought. We never had an argument or disagreement. She was straight up turned against me.
Frequency weapons aren't just used to broadcast false thoughts and manipulate people's emotions against you. They are also used for remote electroshock torture in order to make a person associate being around you with pain. I frequently receive sharp electrical shocking sensations in sensitive parts of my body such as my head, throat, fingers, toes, groin, stomach, etc. This isn't just done to us however. This is also done to our friends, family, and any potential dating opportunities. Many times in recent months I've had women I'm pursuing suddenly start experiencing sharp stomach cramping and other pains out of nowhere. One lady who was a waitress even openly stated that she thought it had to do with me, and mentioned how it was slow at the restaurant on the two Fridays I had been there. This is very real, despite what the online gangstalkers will try to say in the comments on this post.
Oh, and people are also being turned against each other within their dreams. I've witnessed it first hand by observing my own dreams. A woman who I was interested in was depicted negatively in a dream which had nothing to do with her otherwise. But she wronged me in my dream, which had an emotional effect on me which got committed to long term memory. And I woke up suddenly holding a grudge against her for no apparent reason. So if you've ever had a person turned against you out of nowhere for seemingly no reason, this is very often the reason.
Ultimately the Illuminati is trying to play God with gangstalking and radio frequency mind control weapons. They are trying to play our lives like Mario kart, and they want to steer us off course. So it's very necessary to become as knowledgeable as possible about yourself so that you know what your true thoughts are and what are falsely implanted thoughts. Also you want to learn to reprogram your own subconscious mind by telling it positive affirmations about yourself, your life, your goals, and what you hope to achieve. Someone on here suggested you can also program yourself to block out the influence of the frequency weapons by repeatedly stating, "I am blocking out all frequencies outside of the normal human hearing range". This is something I've been trying lately. Grounding is also important. Go outside daily and walk barefoot on grass for 15 to 20 minutes to discharge the built up artificial frequencies and reset your body to be synced up with Earth's harmonic resonance frequency of 7.83 hertz. Tree hugging also is effective in this regard. Sitting with your back against a tree and reading a book is a good idea too.
Detoxing heavy metals can also be useful with supplements like chlorella, cilantro, moringa, liquid bentonite, etc. Potassium iodide capsules may help with removing the skin fungus associated with morgellons. Hot baths with Epsom salt, borax and bentonite may also help with thus. Lately I've been taking a supplement called Opaline Dry Oxy in order to help with my breathing, as my diaphragm and lungs have been under heavy attack. I found information which stated that this supplement was especially helpful for morgellons sufferers and was effective in oxygenating the body and raising the blood oxygen levels. So far I would say it is indeed helping.
In conclusion, never allow yourself to give up since that's the real goal of the targeted individual and gangstalking program. You aren't going crazy. You aren't paranoid or delusional. You aren't imagining that everyone is out to get you. One of the positive affirmations I repeat daily is that I'm winning and that I will meet a beautiful wife and find a great paying job, etc. I remind myself that the reason these people hate me so much is because they hate themselves, and they can't bear to see me win. So I try to enjoy the extra challenge of it all and that way my victory will be all the sweeter knowing that the whole world conspired to take me down, yet I was victorious in spite of their attempts to drag me down.
And to those of you reading this who are part of the harassment campaign against me, I am taking you all down and I am going to expose the entire program. You are rats on a sinking ship, and you'd better jump off while you still can. Because when the targeted individual program is fully exposed and the arrests start being made, there will be no deals anymore. So I recommend that you become an informant and/or a whsitleblower to speed up the process and save your hide. You are on the wrong side of history, and your horrific torture program which flourishes underground and in darkness will not survive exposure to the light.

Strategies you can use to fight back against gangstalking
1) Direct Confrontation: You could literally confront them and ask them why they are gangstalking you. That would be the direct confrontation route. They will feign ignorance and pretend they've never heard of gangstalking and try to make you sound and feel crazy. You can reaffirm by letting them know that you know gangstalking is real, and that you'd like for them to leave you alone. Let them know that you can put a restraining order on them if they keep following you around.
2) Indirect Confrontation: You could indirectly confront them, maybe be friendly and introduce yourself and ask directions or something. Try and glean some more details from them that way. Tell them, "You look real familiar to me. I feel like I've seen you somewhere else? Were you at XYZ last Friday? And maybe ABC a couple of weeks ago? It's a weird coincidence. I keep seeing you around". Try to make them uncomfortable by mentioning multiple places you've seen them at. See if they start sweating or show any signs of being nervous. If they start tugging at their ear or nose or look away while answering you, you can be sure they are lying.
3) Intimidation: You could also start staring them down to intimidate them. That's basically what I did to get my gangstalking to stop a LONG time ago. There was this super tall CIA Agent looking guy at the grocery store, and I knew he was following me. So I stared him down, and he got real nervous and smiled and grabbed a bundle of bananas real quick and ran off. Maybe having big scary looking pitbulls or rotwilers with you at all times while walking outside could help with intimidation. Or you could literally start open carrying a firearm around on your belt.
4) Ignore / They Don't Exist: You can also completely ignore them and pretend they don't exist and not let their presence bother you.
5) Kill With Kindness: Or you can kill them with kindness by smiling and waving at them and being friendly whenever you see them. Keep in mind that frequency weapons are being used on gangstalkers to remove their empathy, though. This was confirmed by the whistleblower named Bryan Kofron. So any methods intended to appeal to the gangstalker's humanity and empathy will likely be ineffective. However, never underestimate the powers of charisma and human decency. Most gangstalkers were forced into that profession by being victimized and gangstalked themselves to begin with.
Basically, you don't want to let them intimidate you or get you to change your life in any negative way. One goal of the targeted individual program is to essentially make you a prisoner in your own house and in your own mind. That's part of why I've started going for walks at the park almost every day lately. They don't want you to have a healthy social life or to have any social support structure whatsoever. The end goal is basically to get you in the crazy house. The whole program is designed to drive you insane and make you LOOK insane to your friends and family. Really, the only people you can talk about this openly with are those of us who know this is real already. The police and FBI are in on it. They absolutely will not help you whatsoever. They will gaslight you and pretend they have never even heard of gangstalking. That's because they are in on it.
Researching and discussing conspiracies like 9/11 was what got me put on the targeted individual list. I posted my theory of 9/11 on Abovetopsecret back in 2010. Someone on the forum threatened me and my whole family in a cryptic way to try and silence me. I didn't sleep for a whole week pretty much. Then, around 5am one morning while walking my dog, an FBI looking black Lincoln Town car drove by me. While it drove by, it rolled down the back window that was facing me. There was nobody in the backseat, but the message was well received. One night not too long after that, the walls of my bedroom started vibrating and buzzing for no apparent reason. My girlfriend at the time was absolutely frightened and asked me what that was. I just told her I didn't know since I really had no idea at the time. But now I realize that was the radio frequency mind control weapons being broadcast at us.
By the way, my relationship of 4 years ended shortly after that. I now realize that my girlfriend had been turned against me with frequency weapons. She started acting strange and in sort of a subliminal manner she would be mean to me for no reason. When she moved out, she was absolutely devastated and she seemed desperate to get back together but her pride prevented her from saying anything about it. When she broke up with me, it was like I was talking to a completely different person. She crossed her arms and told me not to touch her ever again. It felt like she was an actor in a movie or something. Like I mentioned with gangstalkers, her empathy was completely removed and she wasn't the same person anymore.
To this day I'm still single almost 14 years later. I had started to suspect that the perpetrators were finding out which women I was pursuing and were bombarding them with negative thoughts about me via electromagnetic radio frequency based mind control weapons. One lady who I know online confirmed this to me. She told me that one time she went to sit down at her computer specifically to talk with me. As soon as she sat down, she said she heard a loud ringing frequency tone in her ear, and she got very irritated and had the sudden impulse to stand back up and not talk to me. She said another time she heard nothing BUT the ringing in her ears, all other sounds stopped registering. And now it has been six months since she mysteriously stopped talking to me altogether. We never fought. We never had an argument or disagreement. She was straight up turned against me.
Frequency weapons aren't just used to broadcast false thoughts and manipulate people's emotions against you. They are also used for remote electroshock torture in order to make a person associate being around you with pain. I frequently receive sharp electrical shocking sensations in sensitive parts of my body such as my head, throat, fingers, toes, groin, stomach, etc. This isn't just done to us however. This is also done to our friends, family, and any potential dating opportunities. Many times in recent months I've had women I'm pursuing suddenly start experiencing sharp stomach cramping and other pains out of nowhere. One lady who was a waitress even openly stated that she thought it had to do with me, and mentioned how it was slow at the restaurant on the two Fridays I had been there. This is very real, despite what the online gangstalkers will try to say in the comments on this post.
Oh, and people are also being turned against each other within their dreams. I've witnessed it first hand by observing my own dreams. A woman who I was interested in was depicted negatively in a dream which had nothing to do with her otherwise. But she wronged me in my dream, which had an emotional effect on me which got committed to long term memory. And I woke up suddenly holding a grudge against her for no apparent reason. So if you've ever had a person turned against you out of nowhere for seemingly no reason, this is very often the reason.
Ultimately the Illuminati is trying to play God with gangstalking and radio frequency mind control weapons. They are trying to play our lives like Mario kart, and they want to steer us off course. So it's very necessary to become as knowledgeable as possible about yourself so that you know what your true thoughts are and what are falsely implanted thoughts. Also you want to learn to reprogram your own subconscious mind by telling it positive affirmations about yourself, your life, your goals, and what you hope to achieve. Someone on here suggested you can also program yourself to block out the influence of the frequency weapons by repeatedly stating, "I am blocking out all frequencies outside of the normal human hearing range". This is something I've been trying lately. Grounding is also important. Go outside daily and walk barefoot on grass for 15 to 20 minutes to discharge the built up artificial frequencies and reset your body to be synced up with Earth's harmonic resonance frequency of 7.83 hertz. Tree hugging also is effective in this regard. Sitting with your back against a tree and reading a book is a good idea too.
Detoxing heavy metals can also be useful with supplements like chlorella, cilantro, moringa, liquid bentonite, etc. Potassium iodide capsules may help with removing the skin fungus associated with morgellons. Hot baths with Epsom salt, borax and bentonite may also help with thus. Lately I've been taking a supplement called Opaline Dry Oxy in order to help with my breathing, as my diaphragm and lungs have been under heavy attack. I found information which stated that this supplement was especially helpful for morgellons sufferers and was effective in oxygenating the body and raising the blood oxygen levels. So far I would say it is indeed helping.
In conclusion, never allow yourself to give up since that's the real goal of the targeted individual and gangstalking program. You aren't going crazy. You aren't paranoid or delusional. You aren't imagining that everyone is out to get you. One of the positive affirmations I repeat daily is that I'm winning and that I will meet a beautiful wife and find a great paying job, etc. I remind myself that the reason these people hate me so much is because they hate themselves, and they can't bear to see me win. So I try to enjoy the extra challenge of it all and that way my victory will be all the sweeter knowing that the whole world conspired to take me down, yet I was victorious in spite of their attempts to drag me down.
And to those of you reading this who are part of the harassment campaign against me, I am taking you all down and I am going to expose the entire program. You are rats on a sinking ship, and you'd better jump off while you still can. Because when the targeted individual program is fully exposed and the arrests start being made, there will be no deals anymore. So I recommend that you become an informant and/or a whsitleblower to speed up the process and save your hide. You are on the wrong side of history, and your horrific torture program which flourishes underground and in darkness will not survive exposure to the light.

Strategies you can use to fight back against gangstalking
1) Direct Confrontation: You could literally confront them and ask them why they are gangstalking you. That would be the direct confrontation route. They will feign ignorance and pretend they've never heard of gangstalking and try to make you sound and feel crazy. You can reaffirm by letting them know that you know gangstalking is real, and that you'd like for them to leave you alone. Let them know that you can put a restraining order on them if they keep following you around.
2) Indirect Confrontation: You could indirectly confront them, maybe be friendly and introduce yourself and ask directions or something. Try and glean some more details from them that way. Tell them, "You look real familiar to me. I feel like I've seen you somewhere else? Were you at XYZ last Friday? And maybe ABC a couple of weeks ago? It's a weird coincidence. I keep seeing you around". Try to make them uncomfortable by mentioning multiple places you've seen them at. See if they start sweating or show any signs of being nervous. If they start tugging at their ear or nose or look away while answering you, you can be sure they are lying.
3) Intimidation: You could also start staring them down to intimidate them. That's basically what I did to get my gangstalking to stop a LONG time ago. There was this super tall CIA Agent looking guy at the grocery store, and I knew he was following me. So I stared him down, and he got real nervous and smiled and grabbed a bundle of bananas real quick and ran off. Maybe having big scary looking pitbulls or rotwilers with you at all times while walking outside could help with intimidation. Or you could literally start open carrying a firearm around on your belt.
4) Ignore / They Don't Exist: You can also completely ignore them and pretend they don't exist and not let their presence bother you.
5) Kill With Kindness: Or you can kill them with kindness by smiling and waving at them and being friendly whenever you see them. Keep in mind that frequency weapons are being used on gangstalkers to remove their empathy, though. This was confirmed by the whistleblower named Bryan Kofron. So any methods intended to appeal to the gangstalker's humanity and empathy will likely be ineffective. However, never underestimate the powers of charisma and human decency. Most gangstalkers were forced into that profession by being victimized and gangstalked themselves to begin with.
Basically, you don't want to let them intimidate you or get you to change your life in any negative way. One goal of the targeted individual program is to essentially make you a prisoner in your own house and in your own mind. That's part of why I've started going for walks at the park almost every day lately. They don't want you to have a healthy social life or to have any social support structure whatsoever. The end goal is basically to get you in the crazy house. The whole program is designed to drive you insane and make you LOOK insane to your friends and family. Really, the only people you can talk about this openly with are those of us who know this is real already. The police and FBI are in on it. They absolutely will not help you whatsoever. They will gaslight you and pretend they have never even heard of gangstalking. That's because they are in on it.
Researching and discussing conspiracies like 9/11 was what got me put on the targeted individual list. I posted my theory of 9/11 on Abovetopsecret back in 2010. Someone on the forum threatened me and my whole family in a cryptic way to try and silence me. I didn't sleep for a whole week pretty much. Then, around 5am one morning while walking my dog, an FBI looking black Lincoln Town car drove by me. While it drove by, it rolled down the back window that was facing me. There was nobody in the backseat, but the message was well received. One night not too long after that, the walls of my bedroom started vibrating and buzzing for no apparent reason. My girlfriend at the time was absolutely frightened and asked me what that was. I just told her I didn't know since I really had no idea at the time. But now I realize that was the radio frequency mind control weapons being broadcast at us.
By the way, my relationship of 4 years ended shortly after that. I now realize that my girlfriend had been turned against me with frequency weapons. She started acting strange and in sort of a subliminal manner she would be mean to me for no reason. When she moved out, she was absolutely devastated and she seemed desperate to get back together but her pride prevented her from saying anything about it. When she broke up with me, it was like I was talking to a completely different person. She crossed her arms and told me not to touch her ever again. It felt like she was an actor in a movie or something. Like I mentioned with gangstalkers, her empathy was completely removed and she wasn't the same person anymore.
To this day I'm still single almost 14 years later. I had started to suspect that the perpetrators were finding out which women I was pursuing and were bombarding them with negative thoughts about me via electromagnetic radio frequency based mind control weapons. One lady who I know online confirmed this to me. She told me that one time she went to sit down at her computer specifically to talk with me. As soon as she sat down, she said she heard a loud ringing frequency tone in her ear, and she got very irritated and had the sudden impulse to stand back up and not talk to me. She said another time she heard nothing BUT the ringing in her ears, all other sounds stopped registering. And now it has been six months since she mysteriously stopped talking to me altogether. We never fought. We never had an argument or disagreement. She was straight up turned against me.
Frequency weapons aren't just used to broadcast false thoughts and manipulate people's emotions against you. They are also used for remote electroshock torture in order to make a person associate being around you with pain. I frequently receive sharp electrical shocking sensations in sensitive parts of my body such as my head, throat, fingers, toes, groin, stomach, etc. This isn't just done to us however. This is also done to our friends, family, and any potential dating opportunities. Many times in recent months I've had women I'm pursuing suddenly start experiencing sharp stomach cramping and other pains out of nowhere. One lady who was a waitress even openly stated that she thought it had to do with me, and mentioned how it was slow at the restaurant on the two Fridays I had been there. This is very real, despite what the online gangstalkers will try to say in the comments on this post.
Oh, and people are also being turned against each other within their dreams. I've witnessed it first hand by observing my own dreams. A woman who I was interested in was depicted negatively in a dream which had nothing to do with her otherwise. But she wronged me in my dream, which had an emotional effect on me which got committed to long term memory. And I woke up suddenly holding a grudge against her for no apparent reason. So if you've ever had a person turned against you out of nowhere for seemingly no reason, this is very often the reason.
Ultimately the Illuminati is trying to play God with gangstalking and radio frequency mind control weapons. They are trying to play our lives like Mario kart, and they want to steer us off course. So it's very necessary to become as knowledgeable as possible about yourself so that you know what your true thoughts are and what are falsely implanted thoughts. Also you want to learn to reprogram your own subconscious mind by telling it positive affirmations about yourself, your life, your goals, and what you hope to achieve. Someone on here suggested you can also program yourself to block out the influence of the frequency weapons by repeatedly stating, "I am blocking out all frequencies outside of the normal human hearing range". This is something I've been trying lately. Grounding is also important. Go outside daily and walk barefoot on grass for 15 to 20 minutes to discharge the built up artificial frequencies and reset your body to be synced up with Earth's harmonic resonance frequency of 7.83 hertz. Tree hugging also is effective in this regard. Sitting with your back against a tree and reading a book is a good idea too.
Detoxing heavy metals can also be useful with supplements like chlorella, cilantro, moringa, liquid bentonite, etc. Potassium iodide capsules may help with removing the skin fungus associated with morgellons. Hot baths with Epsom salt, borax and bentonite may also help with thus. Lately I've been taking a supplement called Opaline Dry Oxy in order to help with my breathing, as my diaphragm and lungs have been under heavy attack. I found information which stated that this supplement was especially helpful for morgellons sufferers and was effective in oxygenating the body and raising the blood oxygen levels. So far I would say it is indeed helping.
In conclusion, never allow yourself to give up since that's the real goal of the targeted individual and gangstalking program. You aren't going crazy. You aren't paranoid or delusional. You aren't imagining that everyone is out to get you. One of the positive affirmations I repeat daily is that I'm winning and that I will meet a beautiful wife and find a great paying job, etc. I remind myself that the reason these people hate me so much is because they hate themselves, and they can't bear to see me win. So I try to enjoy the extra challenge of it all and that way my victory will be all the sweeter knowing that the whole world conspired to take me down, yet I was victorious in spite of their attempts to drag me down.
And to those of you reading this who are part of the harassment campaign against me, I am taking you all down and I am going to expose the entire program. You are rats on a sinking ship, and you'd better jump off while you still can. Because when the targeted individual program is fully exposed and the arrests start being made, there will be no deals anymore. So I recommend that you become an informant and/or a whsitleblower to speed up the process and save your hide. You are on the wrong side of history, and your horrific torture program which flourishes underground and in darkness will not survive exposure to the light.

Strategies you can use to fight back against gangstalking
1) Direct Confrontation: You could literally confront them and ask them why they are gangstalking you. That would be the direct confrontation route. They will feign ignorance and pretend they've never heard of gangstalking and try to make you sound and feel crazy. You can reaffirm by letting them know that you know gangstalking is real, and that you'd like for them to leave you alone. Let them know that you can put a restraining order on them if they keep following you around.
2) Indirect Confrontation: You could indirectly confront them, maybe be friendly and introduce yourself and ask directions or something. Try and glean some more details from them that way. Tell them, "You look real familiar to me. I feel like I've seen you somewhere else? Were you at XYZ last Friday? And maybe ABC a couple of weeks ago? It's a weird coincidence. I keep seeing you around". Try to make them uncomfortable by mentioning multiple places you've seen them at. See if they start sweating or show any signs of being nervous. If they start tugging at their ear or nose or look away while answering you, you can be sure they are lying.
3) Intimidation: You could also start staring them down to intimidate them. That's basically what I did to get my gangstalking to stop a LONG time ago. There was this super tall CIA Agent looking guy at the grocery store, and I knew he was following me. So I stared him down, and he got real nervous and smiled and grabbed a bundle of bananas real quick and ran off. Maybe having big scary looking pitbulls or rotwilers with you at all times while walking outside could help with intimidation. Or you could literally start open carrying a firearm around on your belt.
4) Ignore / They Don't Exist: You can also completely ignore them and pretend they don't exist and not let their presence bother you.
5) Kill With Kindness: Or you can kill them with kindness by smiling and waving at them and being friendly whenever you see them. Keep in mind that frequency weapons are being used on gangstalkers to remove their empathy, though. This was confirmed by the whistleblower named Bryan Kofron. So any methods intended to appeal to the gangstalker's humanity and empathy will likely be ineffective. However, never underestimate the powers of charisma and human decency. Most gangstalkers were forced into that profession by being victimized and gangstalked themselves to begin with.
Basically, you don't want to let them intimidate you or get you to change your life in any negative way. One goal of the targeted individual program is to essentially make you a prisoner in your own house and in your own mind. That's part of why I've started going for walks at the park almost every day lately. They don't want you to have a healthy social life or to have any social support structure whatsoever. The end goal is basically to get you in the crazy house. The whole program is designed to drive you insane and make you LOOK insane to your friends and family. Really, the only people you can talk about this openly with are those of us who know this is real already. The police and FBI are in on it. They absolutely will not help you whatsoever. They will gaslight you and pretend they have never even heard of gangstalking. That's because they are in on it.
Researching and discussing conspiracies like 9/11 was what got me put on the targeted individual list. I posted my theory of 9/11 on Abovetopsecret back in 2010. Someone on the forum threatened me and my whole family in a cryptic way to try and silence me. I didn't sleep for a whole week pretty much. Then, around 5am one morning while walking my dog, an FBI looking black Lincoln Town car drove by me. While it drove by, it rolled down the back window that was facing me. There was nobody in the backseat, but the message was well received. One night not too long after that, the walls of my bedroom started vibrating and buzzing for no apparent reason. My girlfriend at the time was absolutely frightened and asked me what that was. I just told her I didn't know since I really had no idea at the time. But now I realize that was the radio frequency mind control weapons being broadcast at us.
By the way, my relationship of 4 years ended shortly after that. I now realize that my girlfriend had been turned against me with frequency weapons. She started acting strange and in sort of a subliminal manner she would be mean to me for no reason. When she moved out, she was absolutely devastated and she seemed desperate to get back together but her pride prevented her from saying anything about it. When she broke up with me, it was like I was talking to a completely different person. She crossed her arms and told me not to touch her ever again. It felt like she was an actor in a movie or something. Like I mentioned with gangstalkers, her empathy was completely removed and she wasn't the same person anymore.
To this day I'm still single almost 14 years later. I had started to suspect that the perpetrators were finding out which women I was pursuing and were bombarding them with negative thoughts about me via electromagnetic radio frequency based mind control weapons. One lady who I know online confirmed this to me. She told me that one time she went to sit down at her computer specifically to talk with me. As soon as she sat down, she said she heard a loud ringing frequency tone in her ear, and she got very irritated and had the sudden impulse to stand back up and not talk to me. She said another time she heard nothing BUT the ringing in her ears, all other sounds stopped registering. And now it has been six months since she mysteriously stopped talking to me altogether. We never fought. We never had an argument or disagreement. She was straight up turned against me.
Frequency weapons aren't just used to broadcast false thoughts and manipulate people's emotions against you. They are also used for remote electroshock torture in order to make a person associate being around you with pain. I frequently receive sharp electrical shocking sensations in sensitive parts of my body such as my head, throat, fingers, toes, groin, stomach, etc. This isn't just done to us however. This is also done to our friends, family, and any potential dating opportunities. Many times in recent months I've had women I'm pursuing suddenly start experiencing sharp stomach cramping and other pains out of nowhere. One lady who was a waitress even openly stated that she thought it had to do with me, and mentioned how it was slow at the restaurant on the two Fridays I had been there. This is very real, despite what the online gangstalkers will try to say in the comments on this post.
Oh, and people are also being turned against each other within their dreams. I've witnessed it first hand by observing my own dreams. A woman who I was interested in was depicted negatively in a dream which had nothing to do with her otherwise. But she wronged me in my dream, which had an emotional effect on me which got committed to long term memory. And I woke up suddenly holding a grudge against her for no apparent reason. So if you've ever had a person turned against you out of nowhere for seemingly no reason, this is very often the reason.
Ultimately the Illuminati is trying to play God with gangstalking and radio frequency mind control weapons. They are trying to play our lives like Mario kart, and they want to steer us off course. So it's very necessary to become as knowledgeable as possible about yourself so that you know what your true thoughts are and what are falsely implanted thoughts. Also you want to learn to reprogram your own subconscious mind by telling it positive affirmations about yourself, your life, your goals, and what you hope to achieve. Someone on here suggested you can also program yourself to block out the influence of the frequency weapons by repeatedly stating, "I am blocking out all frequencies outside of the normal human hearing range". This is something I've been trying lately. Grounding is also important. Go outside daily and walk barefoot on grass for 15 to 20 minutes to discharge the built up artificial frequencies and reset your body to be synced up with Earth's harmonic resonance frequency of 7.83 hertz. Tree hugging also is effective in this regard. Sitting with your back against a tree and reading a book is a good idea too.
Detoxing heavy metals can also be useful with supplements like chlorella, cilantro, moringa, liquid bentonite, etc. Potassium iodide capsules may help with removing the skin fungus associated with morgellons. Hot baths with Epsom salt, borax and bentonite may also help with thus. Lately I've been taking a supplement called Opaline Dry Oxy in order to help with my breathing, as my diaphragm and lungs have been under heavy attack. I found information which stated that this supplement was especially helpful for morgellons sufferers and was effective in oxygenating the body and raising the blood oxygen levels. So far I would say it is indeed helping.
In conclusion, never allow yourself to give up since that's the real goal of the targeted individual and gangstalking program. You aren't going crazy. You aren't paranoid or delusional. You aren't imagining that everyone is out to get you. One of the positive affirmations I repeat daily is that I'm winning and that I will meet a beautiful wife and find a great paying job, etc. I remind myself that the reason these people hate me so much is because they hate themselves, and they can't bear to see me win. So I try to enjoy the extra challenge of it all and that way my victory will be all the sweeter knowing that the whole world conspired to take me down, yet I was victorious in spite of their attempts to drag me down.
And to those of you reading this who are part of the harassment campaign against me, I am taking you all down and I am going to expose the entire program. You are rats on a sinking ship, and you'd better jump off while you still can. Because when the targeted individual program is fully exposed and the arrests start being made, there will be no deals anymore. So I recommend that you become an informant and/or a whsitleblower to speed up the process and save your hide. You are on the wrong side of history, and your horrific torture program which flourishes underground and in darkness will not survive exposure to the light.

Hi!
I was diagnosed with endo via imaging and extensive history about a month ago, on the surgery list for excision but my doctor wants me to get the all clear from cardiology and neurology first due to POTS symptoms and other potentially related issues.
I have been on continuous Slynd for about 7 months, no spotting or bleeding except when I forgot a few days of pills about 3 months in, no other symptoms after about a 6 week adjustment period of time starting it.
10 days ago I was sexually active, external stimulation only, when I started to cramp really badly. I have been cramping off and on since then and have been having this really dark brown/almost black discharge since then in various quantities. Similar to what I would have at the end of a period but much more frequently. I’m concerned because it also smells horrific and it makes me/I am soooo itchy. I have had a bit of nausea here and there but attributed that to other things. I haven’t seen a doctor yet because I was travelling for work and tomorrow is a holiday, but I’m starting to stress. Has anyone experienced this? It’s mainly the horrific stench and the unrelenting itch that’s making me concerned.
I promise I will call Tuesday for a doctors appointment!

Warning: abuse
At 19F in the middle of active alcoholism 3 years after my mom went to jail for murder for hire, I was a SW (looking?) for a SD? - while out at a bar I got approached by a 43M that I found attractive and very charismatic. Thinking we’d end up having “fun”, I returned the honest sentiment of attraction. We stayed together 2.5 years after that. He was a Chemist who laughed and made light of everything, his alcoholism and drug addiction became apparent from the beginning, but not to the extent that it got to/really was.
Like all relationships, things started out fun, a very Glee movie summer-like love, very free-ing. He was a Doctor of chemistry and worked in the oil field prior to my meeting him, because of his living situation and luxury cars he seemed like he was doing well. He never was any type of SD. The night I met him, we made eye contact and never looked away. Our chemistry, pun intended- was like nothing I’ve ever experienced.
I’m the youngest, not the smartest nor prettiest. I quit my jobs because I simply didn’t want to work sometimes, I made a lot of mistakes and I’ve been in the receiving end of family based bullying and school bullying, SA, R@p€, abandonment and trust issues, I’m bipolar, I practice/d SH, depression, GAD… things of the human condition that make it feel like I’m faulty.
This man was the first person that ever sat with me and listened to me vent to the extent that I did the first tight we spent together. We rarely had sex, but we shared breaths as we slept, (he inhales my breath as I exhale his breath, vise-versa and so on and so forth) to keep it brief and give example. He’s the most intimate partner I’ve ever experienced.
I notice others micro expressions and cater to their benefit if it seems they are troubled or asking for help.
I’m having so much trouble these days accepting the fact that I’m never going to meet him again. Specifically because he was so attentive and catering to my needs. He knew immediately when I was masking. I’m so confused and perplexed about the feeling of not having anyone in my life that has that interest in me. I felt so understood. That’s been my first and last experience with feeling understood like that.
He drank from morning to night nonstop. Together we became aware of what alcoholism was. Brown urine, blood, pain… regret that then led to arguments, accidents, threats, drugs, danger, fear turned to bonding, helping each other, trying to get better, failing. Trying again. Do it all over again. Fail. Again and again.
We managed to get sober a few days. His parents loved me. I understood and loved him. He hadn’t been sober for that long and trying for a long time. He was doing better, that’s what his mom would say.
Every relapse got harder, more dangerous medically and physically as well as economically.
Sleep deprivation was torture I hadn’t experienced before. I would be awoken with yelling because of delirium, anger and he would degrade me so badly. Use that bond we had against me, my own experiences turned against me he’d repeat the insults I shared with him to me. Yell those at me. Then love bomb. Then threaten me and my family with guns. I lived in fear when he blacked out. Felt lonely because with all of the yelling, smashing things around, being stared at by neighbors crying, being called an idiot dumbass in front of people and them witnessing me at a low point and then, agreeing with him? No neighbor knocked after crying and yelling to see if anyone was ok or dying. Public shame feels so. Fucking. Lonely. Isolation doesn’t help.
He stopped functioning. His body started giving out. I loved him. Took care of him cleaned his wounds after falls, his body after incontinence. He literally shed blood, shit and tears, regret and asked for forgiveness when I cared for him in his sober state.
In return, I’d receive non stop verbal abuse if I didn’t stop and do what he wanted me to at the time he wanted me to and how he wanted me to. If I didn’t give him my attention he’d end up getting it by threatening my family. And he would! Fight my brother and go after him with loaded guns. So there I would go do what he said. Forced to ride in a vehicle, with him locking the doors, blasting Phil Collins yelling at me. Driving erratically, dangerously. And I’d be so fucking scared of crashing. Just imagining the police report, “f19 dead alongside 43m after drunk reckless driving”. He’d speed in traffic so I couldn’t really jump out the car. I’d end up just drinking to numb the fear.
I had enough and attempted to sleepies forever by taking a sweet deadly cocktail of whatever handful of pills I could get my hands on. We had plastic gallon moving boxes filled with narcotics- he was a pharmacist too. I told him I was going to KMS he said go ahead, so I attempted and I filmed it.
From the setting up the phone in that closet, the one I color coordinated for him, his button-ups and suits in those dry-cleaning bags that hadn’t been opened since leaving the laundry shop… I watched my su!c!d€ afterwards. Out of morbid curiosity. “What a dumbass!” was what he said when he found me. I won’t go into detail of the full video but chest compressions hurt a lot, 10/10 would not recommend. And EMS left the AED stickers on my chest 🤷🏽‍♀️
After that 24hr watch, an awkward taxi drive to a crisis clinic that was understaffed and left me in a room by myself for two hours and walking in public with those see-through paper hospital clothes. Embarrassment is a light expression. When I was taken home, I didn’t have keys, or phone, or anything. Just my discharge papers and my cut vomit stained pajamas in a biohazard bag. - I lived in a gated neighborhood with key-fob-entry-only. I was fucked and waited what seemed like 4 hours for anyone to help me but no one showed up until HE did WITH MY BROTHER. The one who was threatened with a gun, that brother.
JFC the amount of insults, “what a fucking dumbass, what were you thinking? You’re a fucking idiot!” To summarize in the friendliest way. I was dressed in a see through hospital gown, I went straight to the shower, didn’t have the energy to get dressed when they kept just YELLING at me. INSULTING me- I had enough and wanted to defend myself. That’s when my brother pulled out his phone and started filming me pleading with them to let me sleep, calling me crazy, threatening to “show the family how fucking crazy you are!” - I threw my phone. Broke the microwave door. More insults, while still filming me, I was ordered to, “clean it up” - and at that moment. Completely detached, I did.
I put my brother on the soon-est bus to Mexico and sent him to rehab after 2 hell filled weeks of him living with us because he was so fucked in alcoholism he was homeless. To this day I don’t know how I did that.
I managed to leave my ex. 2 weeks later I receive calls from worried friends. Ryan was missing.
After investigating, (calls to police,hospitals, checking out the “usual” spots) - turns out he went to a Circle K looking for Peroni after the liquor store wouldn’t sell to him, tripped on the steps, hit his head on the pavement, STILL MANAGED TO PURCHASE ALCOHOL, left, got into a fight, and somehow miraculously ended up in his apartment where he tried to shower, fell face forward towards the water tap, (which left a softball sized bruise on his right eye and fractured his nose) he then tried to walk towards the kitchen? Passed out in the living room leaving blood all over the walls, puddles on the ground and the biggest blood clot stain on the floor ( we had to get crime scene cleaners). He apparently had a fit where he trashed the apartment by throwing my things, my plants, bottles of crown… anything. Everything was trashed when I found him in the apartment. I counted at LEAST 20 bottles of crown. He was so fucked up we thought he had been assaulted.
COVID hit and hospitals were in full lockdown. As an “essential worker” I could travel to the hospital to see him, and because someone somewhere said I was his wife/fiancée I was the ONLY one allowed to see him.
I snuck behind friends and family’s backs checking in on him at the hospital. Singing The Carpenters songs, wearing his favorite perfumes, reading Bill’s Story (IYKYK), playing Phil Collins. The whole 9 yards.
The last time I saw him, he was in Physical therapy/Rehab. He ended up moving back to his parents in California. Then February the next year, on Valentine’s Day - his mom let me know he passed.
She grieved very much attached to me. It was one of the saddest things I ever had to help someone through - alongside helping her son go through alcoholism.
I became a CNA as a tribute to helping him during those hard sober times where his body gave out. Helping others like that, bathing them, diaper changing, g-tube cleaning, hygiene essentials…
The classic grief started with what-if’s. Etc. it’s been hard lately because all my family is against him and his family resents me for being the only one with access to his medical records during COVID. I’m in a relationship now and our therapist told me to “put a break on it”. Recently. My mental illnesses keep getting worse and I feel like no other has taken such interest in me as much as Ryan did. He was so observant. So in-sync with me. And he was so shitty to me. He’s like the sweetest tasting radioactive flower that once was and will never be. And I’m grieving. And it’s so lonely out here.
I don’t know. I’m not suicid@l, I’m medicated and 4 years sober. It’s been hard and it’s getting harder to understand. I feel neglected and lonely. Anything helps please.