There is a severe lack of understanding about this community, including among mental health providers and social workers. Stigma, bias, and misconceptions prevent those who are attracted to minors (but do not offend) from seeking help they may need.
CSA = child sexual abuse
NoMAPs = non-offending, minor attracted people: those who are attracted to children but are committed to not causing harm against them
Many non-offending MAPs do not seek professional support, or may withdraw from support, due to the following reasons:

• They are worried that they will be unjustly reported, despite having done nothing wrong (this is based on many cases where professionals misunderstand mandatory reporting laws and report someone to the police just for disclosing their attraction)
• They do not want to be judged by the provider (many therapists, social workers, etc. have intensely negative reactions to clients disclosing their attractions and draw inaccurate conclusions about them based on that disclosure)
• They do not believe their own goals will be met (providers often make CSA prevention the main focus, even when this is not the client’s stated goal. This treats clients as if they are “ticking time bombs” and is not person-centered)
• They do not want to be subjected to attempts to “cure” them of their attractions, or to convert them into teleiophiles, which is shown to be ineffective and harmful

Those of us in the social work and mental health fields can address common misconceptions about this group, as a way to encourage MAPs to get help when they need it. Greater education and understanding about MAPs increases their well-being while also contributing to the prevention of CSA.
Common questions
Are you saying child sexual abuse is acceptable?
Absolutely not. Causing harm to children in the form of in-person/online sexual contact; CSAM (sometimes referred to as child pornography); grooming; or any other inappropriate behavior is not and will never be acceptable.
Many people who are attracted to minors are vehemently against these forms of harm as well, and do not support ideas such as lowering the age of consent. There are entire communities of minor attracted people who are committed to not harming children.
Isn’t using the term ‘MAPs’ normalizing pedophilia?
Only a minority of the population experiences a primary attraction to children. In this sense, pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction are not “normal”, in the same way that LBGTQ identities are not “normal” by proportion to the general population.
When people refer to normalizing something, they are usually talking about removing the stigma behind it, or acknowledging that it is acceptable.
Having an unchosen, unchangeable attraction to children is not inherently wrong, immoral, predatory, or pathological. It becomes so only when harm is involved. Attraction itself is not a behavior.
Shouldn’t we be protecting children from MAPs?
We should absolutely protect children from abusers, groomers, and predators. These terms are not synonymous with being minor attracted. In fact, research shows that the majority of child sexual abuse cases are carried out by people who do not meet the criteria for pedophilia (see “Sources” section below for reference).
When somebody feels they are at risk for harming a child, they should be able to seek immediate and effective help. Some NoMAPs need temporary or ongoing support in remaining resilient against offending, but this does not represent all or even the majority of NoMAPs. Many in this community have no intention of ever harming a child, and they are not at risk for doing so.
It is also important to note that many MAPs are still children themselves. MAPs tend to become aware of their attractions around the time of puberty or early adolescence. Children who are MAPs deserve the same degree of safety and well-being that other children do.
Why is the term ‘MAP’ even used?
This term has become more widely used for two main reasons:

1. It emphasizes attraction over action. The word ‘pedophile’ has become so conflated with ‘offender’ in every sector of our society, that most people assume a behavioral component when they hear the word. ‘Minor attracted person’, on the other hand, emphasizes that we are talking about those with an attraction, which includes both those who do and those who do not act on it.

Because there are MAPs who are also offenders, the term ‘Non-offending Minor Attracted Person’ (NoMAP) is useful when we are talking specifically about those who have an attraction but do not act on it.

1. ‘MAP’ is also a more accurate, all-encompassing way to refer to the community as a whole. This includes people with infantophilia, pedophilia, and (ep)hebephilia. It would not make sense, for example, to call someone who is primarily attracted to 15-18 year olds a pedophile.

However, many people do not self-identify with the term ‘MAP’. Some identify as pedophiles, hebephiles, boy lovers, girl lovers, or other terms. Some may use multiple terms to describe themselves. What’s important is that we should honor how each individual person self-identifies their attraction, and not impose a label on them.
Alternatives have also been suggested by those who conduct research with this community, such as ‘child attracted person’ as opposed to ‘minor attracted person’. I use ‘MAP’ here because it is the most widely accepted way to refer to the community as a whole.
What would someone who harms a child be called?
Depending on the context, people who harm children could be called many things—offender, abuser, predator, or groomer, to name a few examples.
Research shows that the majority of child sexual abuse cases are carried out by people who do not meet the criteria for pedophilia. (See “Sources” section below to learn why someone who’s not primarily attracted to children would sexually abuse a child.)
Is pedophilia a mental illness/diagnosis?
It depends. Some MAPs are committed to not offending, are not at risk for offending, and have come to terms with their attraction. These individuals have no reason to be pathologized.
Many others are not at risk for offending, yet they desire professional help for mental health conditions (like depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation) that result from the hatred they receive in our society. These individuals also have no reason to be pathologized, as their mental health conditions result from stigma rather than from the attraction itself.
Some MAPs desire professional help in dealing with the difficult emotions resulting from not being able to have a fulfilling sexual or romantic connection, particularly those who are exclusively attracted to children. (Many MAPs are attracted to both children and adults, and may be in relationships with adults.)
There are also MAPs who desire professional help in remaining resilient against offending. In these cases, and in cases where MAPs do harm children, pedophilia would be considered pathological since there is significant distress and/or harm involved.
Is pedophilia a sexual orientation?
The available research points to pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction being an age-based sexual orientation, in that the attraction is unchosen, typically arises during the time of puberty or early adolescence, and remains fairly constant throughout one’s life.
Are you suggesting that MAPs are part of the LGBTQ+ community?
Age-based orientations are by nature different from gender-based orientations, in that there is no safe or ethical way for an adult to engage sexually or romantically with a child. The experience of MAPs is also vastly different from that of LGBTQ individuals in several ways.
While there are some parallels that can be drawn between studies on stigma among LGBTQ individuals and the experience of stigma among MAPs, these are two separate communities.
Can someone’s attraction to children be changed?
Empirical data, based on qualitative and quantitative studies, points to the fact that pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction cannot be changed or "cured". (See “Sources” section below for reference.)
How many MAPs are there in the world?
Across various studies, the average incidence of minor attraction, meaning those who are primarily attracted to minors, comes out to about 5% of the adult population worldwide. This number is likely an undercount for the following reasons:

• Many studies do not account for hebephilia (primary attraction to pubescent children)
• There is usually a focus on men, despite the fact that many MAPs are women
• Some people choose not to disclose their attractions in the first place

Why should I care about any of this?
Reducing stigma against NoMAPs contributes to a safer society for all, based around empathy and evidence. Many people do not feel safe disclosing their attraction for fear of being unjustly reported, misunderstood, or physically harmed.
Unfortunately, stories of MAPs being rejected by family members, forced out of educational programs, reported to the police, and made to feel like a monster– even in the absence of any harm to a child— are all too common. This prevents many MAPs from seeking or continuing to receive support, which in turn can lead to:

• Increased incidence of mental health issues (such as depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation)
• More difficulty in refraining from offending (for some MAPs; others are not at risk to begin with)

The misconceptions and harmful attitudes that we have toward non-offending MAPs directly interfere with them receiving the support they may need, decreasing MAPs’ well-being and putting children at greater risk. This includes children who are MAPs themselves.
Where can I learn more?
There are many resources available to learn about MAPs. These include:

• https://www.b4uact.org/
• https://asapinternational.org/index.php/introduction/about_asapinternational
• https://www.stopitnow.org/
• https://safersociety.org/store/live-online-training-providing-treatment-to-minor-attracted-people/
• https://theglobalpreventionproject.org/maps

If you are minor attracted yourself, you can check out any of the above, plus:

• https://virped.org/
• https://www.mapresources.info/
• https://mapsupport.club/

Sources
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19327034/ "There is no evidence to suggest that pedophilia can be changed. Instead, interventions are designed to increase voluntary control over sexual arousal, reduce sex drive, or teach self-management skills to individuals who are motivated to avoid acting upon their sexual interests"
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32086644/ "The results of this study were consistent with the suggestion of Seto (2012) that pedohebephilia could be considered a form of sexual orientation for age, which includes both sexual and romantic attraction"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8793822/ ..."in line with the current empirical assumption that enduring sexual attractions to children are largely unchangeable (Grundmann et al., 2016; Seto, 2012; for recent debates see Bailey, 2015; Cantor, 2015; Grundmann et al., 2017; Müller et al., 2014; Tozdan & Briken, 2017)"
https://www.csaprimaryprevention.org/supporting-maps.html "The overwhelming opinion in the professional sexual violence prevention community is that helping minor attracted people by offering peeprofessional support is the best way to ensure that minor attracted people do not harm children, and suggest that reducing the stigma against minor attraction will help this endeavor and protect children"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7145785/ "It may be constructive for professionals working with this population to encourage the 'ownership' of the minor-attracted sexual identity, such as to reduce levels of self-stigmatization and increase self-acceptance. In doing so, we argue that we (as professionals, and as a society) can… ultimately, protect children from sexual harm by improving MAP well-being and agency"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8888496/ “…less than half of all individuals with child sexual offense convictions meet the clinical criteria for pedophilia (Schmidt et al., 2013; Seto, 2018a)”
https://www.stopitnow.org/faq/is-there-a-typical-profile-of-someone-who-sexually-abuses-children “Some people who abuse children have adult sexual relationships and are not solely, or even mainly, sexually interested in children”
https://www.stopitnow.org/faq/why-would-an-adult-sexually-abuse-a-child “Some adults sexually abuse a child to feel the power and control they don’t feel in their relationships with other adults… Some adults act impulsively when presented with an unexpected opportunity to sexually abuse a child”
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8888496/ “...the more consistent prevalence estimates for minor attraction in a more clinical sense… congregate around 5% (Dombert et al., 2016; Santilla et al., 2010; Wurtele et al., 2014)”

Here are all of the relevant keywords/abbreviations for the CompTIA sec+ exam.
Comment below if you have any questions, if I made a mistake, or if I missed something!
AAA: Authentication, Authorization, and Accounting ABAC: Attribute-Based Access Control ACL: Access Control List AD: Active Directory AES: Advanced Encryption Standard AES256: Advanced Encryption Standard with a key size of 256 bits AH: Authentication Header AI: Artificial Intelligence AIS: Automated Information System ALE: Annual Loss Expectancy AP: Access Point API: Application Programming Interface APT: Advanced Persistent Threat ARO: Annualized Rate of Occurrence ARP: Address Resolution Protocol ASLR: Address Space Layout Randomization ASP: Application Service Provider ATT&CK: Adversarial Tactics, Techniques, and Common Knowledge AUP: Acceptable Use Policy AV: Antivirus BASH: Bourne Again Shell BCP: Business Continuity Plan BGP: Border Gateway Protocol BIA: Business Impact Analysis BIOS: Basic Input/Output System BPA: Business Process Automation BPDU: Bridge Protocol Data Unit BSSID: Basic Service Set Identifier BYOD: Bring Your Own Device CA: Certificate Authority CAPTCHA: Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart CAR: Corrective Action Report CASB: Cloud Access Security Broker CBC: Cipher Block Chaining CBT: Computer-Based Training CCMP: Counter Mode with Cipher Block Chaining Message Authentication Code Protocol CCTV: Closed-Circuit Television CERT: Computer Emergency Response Team CFB: Cipher Feedback CHAP: Challenge-Handshake Authentication Protocol CIO: Chief Information Officer CIRT: Computer Incident Response Team CIS: Center for Internet Security CMS: Content Management System CN: Common Name COOP: Continuity of Operations COPE: Corporate-Owned, Personally-Enabled CP: Control Plane CRC: Cyclic Redundancy Check CRL: Certificate Revocation List CSA: Cloud Security Alliance CSIRT: Computer Security Incident Response Team CSO: Chief Security Officer CSP: Cloud Service Provider CSR: Certificate Signing Request CSRF: Cross-Site Request Forgery CSU: Central Service Unit CTM: Content Threat Management CTO: Chief Technology Officer CVE: Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures CVSS: Common Vulnerability Scoring System CYOD: Choose Your Own Device DAC: Discretionary Access Control DBA: Database Administrator DDoS: Distributed Denial of Service DEP: Data Execution Prevention DER: Distinguished Encoding Rules DES: Data Encryption Standard DHCP: Dynamic Host Configuration Protocol DHE: Diffie-Hellman Ephemeral DKIM: DomainKeys Identified Mail DLL: Dynamic Link Library DLP: Data Loss Prevention DMARC: Domain-based Message Authentication, Reporting, and Conformance DNT: Do Not Track DNS: Domain Name System DNSSEC: Domain Name System Security Extensions DoS: Denial of Service DPO: Data Protection Officer DRP: Disaster Recovery Plan DSA: Digital Signature Algorithm DSL: Digital Subscriber Line EAP: Extensible Authentication Protocol ECB: Electronic Codebook ECC: Elliptic Curve Cryptography ECDHE: Elliptic Curve Diffie-Hellman Ephemeral ECDSA: Elliptic Curve Digital Signature Algorithm EDR: Endpoint Detection and Response EFS: Encrypting File System EIP: Enterprise Information Portal EOL: End of Life EOS: End of Support ERP: Enterprise Resource Planning ESN: Electronic Serial Number ESP: Encapsulating Security Payload ESSID: Extended Service Set Identifier FACL: File Access Control List FDE: Full Disk Encryption FIM: File Integrity Monitoring FPGA: Field-Programmable Gate Array FRR: Fast Reroute FTP: File Transfer Protocol FTPS: FTP Secure GCM: Galois/Counter Mode GDPR: General Data Protection Regulation GPG: GNU Privacy Guard GPO: Group Policy Object GPS: Global Positioning System GPU: Graphics Processing Unit GRE: Generic Routing Encapsulation HA: High Availability HDD: Hard Disk Drive HIDS: Host-based Intrusion Detection System HIPS: Host-based Intrusion Prevention System HMAC: Keyed-Hash Message Authentication Code HOTP: HMAC-based One-Time Password HSM: Hardware Security Module HSMaaS: Hardware Security Module as a Service HTML: Hypertext Markup Language HTTP: Hypertext Transfer Protocol HTTPS: Hypertext Transfer Protocol Secure HVAC: Heating, Ventilation, and Air Conditioning IaaS: Infrastructure as a Service IAM: Identity and Access Management ICMP: Internet Control Message Protocol ICS: Industrial Control System IDEA: International Data Encryption Algorithm IDF: Intermediate Distribution Frame IdP: Identity Provider IDS: Intrusion Detection System IPS: Intrusion Prevention System IEEE: Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers IKE: Internet Key Exchange IM: Instant Messaging IMAP4: Internet Message Access Protocol version 4 IoC: Indicator of Compromise IoT: Internet of Things IP: Internet Protocol IPSec: Internet Protocol Security IR: Incident Response IRC: Internet Relay Chat IRP: Incident Response Plan ISA: Interconnection Security Agreement ISFW: Integrated Security and Firewalls ISO: International Organization for Standardization ISP: Internet Service Provider ISSO: Information Systems Security Officer ITCP: Information Technology Contingency Plan IV: Initialization Vector KDC: Key Distribution Center KEK: Key Encryption Key L2TP: Layer 2 Tunneling Protocol LAN: Local Area Network LDAP: Lightweight Directory Access Protocol LEAP: Lightweight Extensible Authentication Protocol MaaS: Monitoring as a Service MAC: Media Access Control MAM: Mobile Application Management MAN: Metropolitan Area Network MBR: Master Boot Record MD5: Message Digest Algorithm 5 MDF: Main Distribution Frame MDM: Mobile Device Management MFA: Multi-Factor Authentication MFD: Multi-Function Device MFP: Multi-Function Printer ML: Machine Learning MMS: Multimedia Messaging Service MOA: Memorandum of Agreement MOU: Memorandum of Understanding MPLS: Multiprotocol Label Switching MSA: Master Service Agreement MSP: Managed Service Provider MSSP: Managed Security Service Provider MTBF: Mean Time Between Failures MTTF: Mean Time To Failure MTTR: Mean Time To Repair MTU: Maximum Transmission Unit NAC: Network Access Control NAT: Network Address Translation NDA: Non-Disclosure Agreement NFC: Near Field Communication NFV: Network Functions Virtualization NGFW: Next-Generation Firewall NG-SWG: Next-Generation Secure Web Gateway NIC: Network Interface Card NIDS: Network Intrusion Detection System NIPS: Network Intrusion Prevention System NIST: National Institute of Standards and Technology NOC: Network Operations Center NTFS: New Technology File System NTLM: New Technology LAN Manager NTP: Network Time Protocol OCSP: Online Certificate Status Protocol OID: Object Identifier OS: Operating System OAI: OpenID Authentication OSINT: Open Source Intelligence OSPF: Open Shortest Path First OT: Operational Technology OTA: Over-the-Air OTG: On-The-Go OVAL: Open Vulnerability and Assessment Language OWASP: Open Web Application Security Project P12: Personal Information Exchange Format P2P: Peer-to-Peer PaaS: Platform as a Service PAC: Proxy Auto-Configuration PAM: Privileged Access Management PAP: Password Authentication Protocol PAT: Port Address Translation PBKDF2: Password-Based Key Derivation Function 2 PBX: Private Branch Exchange PCAP: Packet Capture PCI DSS: Payment Card Industry Data Security Standard PDU: Protocol Data Unit PE: Protected Extensible Authentication Protocol PEAP: Protected Extensible Authentication Protocol PED: Portable Electronic Device PEM: Privacy Enhanced Mail PFS: Perfect Forward Secrecy PGP: Pretty Good Privacy PHI: Protected Health Information PII: Personally Identifiable Information PIN: Personal Identification Number PIV: Personal Identity Verification PKCS: Public Key Cryptography Standards PKI: Public Key Infrastructure PoC: Proof of Concept POP: Post Office Protocol POTS: Plain Old Telephone Service PPP: Point-to-Point Protocol PPTP: Point-to-Point Tunneling Protocol PSK: Pre-Shared Key PTZ: Pan-Tilt-Zoom PUP: Potentially Unwanted Program QA: Quality Assurance QoS: Quality of Service RA: Recovery Agent RAD: Rapid Application Development RADIUS: Remote Authentication Dial-In User Service RAID: Redundant Array of Independent Disks RAM: Random Access Memory RAS: Remote Access Service RAT: Remote Access Trojan RC4: Rivest Cipher 4 RCS: Remote Control System RFC: Request for Comments RFID: Radio-Frequency Identification RIPEMD: RACE Integrity Primitives Evaluation Message Digest ROI: Return on Investment RPO: Recovery Point Objective RSA: Rivest-Shamir-Adleman RTBH: Remote Triggered Black Hole RTO: Recovery Time Objective RTOS: Real-Time Operating System RTP: Real-Time Transport Protocol S/MIME: Secure/Multipurpose Internet Mail Extensions SaaS: Software as a Service SAE: Simultaneous Authentication of Equals SAML: Security Assertion Markup Language SCADA: Supervisory Control and Data Acquisition SCAP: Security Content Automation Protocol SCEP: Simple Certificate Enrollment Protocol SDK: Software Development Kit SDLC: Software Development Life Cycle SDLM: Software Development Lifecycle Management SDN: Software-Defined Networking SDP: Session Description Protocol SDV: Software-Defined Vehicle SED: Self-Encrypting Drive SEH: Structured Exception Handler SFTP: Secure File Transfer Protocol SHA: Secure Hash Algorithm SIEM: Security Information and Event Management SIM: Subscriber Identity Module SIP: Session Initiation Protocol SLA: Service Level Agreement SLE: Single Loss Expectancy SMB: Server Message Block SMS: Short Message Service SMTP/S: Simple Mail Transfer Protocol/Secure SNMP: Simple Network Management Protocol SOAP: Simple Object Access Protocol SOAR: Security Orchestration, Automation, and Response SoC: Security Operations Center SOC: System-On-Chip SPF: Sender Policy Framework SPIM: Spam Over Instant Messaging SQL: Structured Query Language SQLi: SQL Injection SRTP: Secure Real-Time Transport Protocol SSD: Solid-State Drive SSH: Secure Shell SSID: Service Set Identifier SSL: Secure Sockets Layer SSO: Single Sign-On STIX: Structured Threat Information eXpression STP: Spanning Tree Protocol SWG: Secure Web Gateway TACACS+: Terminal Access Controller Access-Control System Plus TGT: Ticket Granting Ticket TKIP: Temporal Key Integrity Protocol TLS: Transport Layer Security TOTP: Time-Based One-Time Password TPM: Trusted Platform Module TSIG: Transaction Signature TTP: Tactics, Techniques, and Procedures UAT: User Acceptance Testing UDP: User Datagram Protocol UEBA: User and Entity Behavior Analytics UEFI: Unified Extensible Firmware Interface UEM: Unified Endpoint Management UPS: Uninterruptible Power Supply URI: Uniform Resource Identifier URL: Uniform Resource Locator USB: Universal Serial Bus USB OTG: USB On-The-Go UTM: Unified Threat Management UTP: Unshielded Twisted Pair VBA: Visual Basic for Applications VDE: Virtual Desktop Environment VDI: Virtual Desktop Infrastructure VLAN: Virtual Local Area Network VLSM: Variable Length Subnet Masking VM: Virtual Machine VoIP: Voice over Internet Protocol VPC: Virtual Private Cloud VPN: Virtual Private Network VTC: Video Teleconferencing WAF: Web Application Firewall WAP: Wireless Access Point WEP: Wired Equivalent Privacy WIDS: Wireless Intrusion Detection System WIPS: Wireless Intrusion Prevention System WORM: Write Once, Read Many WPA: Wi-Fi Protected Access WPS: Wi-Fi Protected Setup XaaS: Anything as a Service XSRF: Cross-Site Request Forgery

My wife, Mia, and I were driving cross-country. It was our first attempt at the “Great American Roadtrip.”
Mia and I rented a small RV; more of a camper than a full blown RV. We packed up a couple suitcases with plenty of room for any souvenirs and we hit the dusty trail.
We started our journey on the “Mother Road”-- Route 66-- driving south from Chicago until we connected to i-70 and shot straight west through Missouri.
The goal was to see those parts of the country we had never seen before, stopping anywhere that seemed interesting. From the plains of Kansas up through the badlands of Wyoming and South Dakota.
In Missouri we saw the world’s largest cap gun. In Kansas we visited the Evel Knievel Museum and the World’s Largest Belt Buckle.
We love all those kitschy, tourist trap places.
Eventually, we made it to Colorado and after a few hours more of driving through amber waves of grain, we saw them... the Rocky Mountains.
We made an exit and headed north through the winding mountain highways.
The Rockies were gorgeous. Snow capped in the middle of summer, some of the peaks pierced through the white fluffy clouds.
We saw a sign that read “Traffic Tunnel - 3 Miles.”
A little further and sure enough, there it was, a large tunnel bored directly through the mountain in front of us.
A large sign read, “Pike Tunnel - Longest Traffic Tunnel in the Nation! - Please turn your headlights on now.”
“How long is it?” asked Mia.
“That’s what she said,” I quipped.
But she was right, there was no information beyond the detail that this was the longest tunnel in the nation.
“Can’t be more than a mile or two,” I said as I watched the little white car ahead of us slip into the darkness. A moment later we joined it.
The tunnel was lit by fluorescents that gave everything a greenish yellow tinge. On the left hand side was a raised walkway behind a railing for maintenance access.
Initially I was struck by the incredible amount of work that went into the construction of this man- made marvel.
“We’re under a million tons of rocky mountain right now,” I said.
“How many years before this caves in?” Mia responded.
I shot her a look--
“Let’s save the cave-in talk until we’re out on the other side.”
“I’m just saying, nature will take this back eventually,” she continued.
I scanned the empty road ahead of us.
“Where did the other car go?” I asked.
We were now alone in the tunnel, no cars ahead of us nor behind us.
“Huh... they must have sped off ahead. Maybe they’re scared of a cave-in?”
My Spotify playlist had stopped playing. Mia looked at the phone.
“No cell service.”
She turned on the radio and spun the dial only to find static.
“You’re not going to be able to pick up a station in here,” I said.
She turned the volume down.
“Just wanted to check... If only we had some CDs. This tunnel really keeps going.”
“I would have thought we’d be through it by now,” I replied.
I looked at the RV’s odometer, 45,600 miles. I picked up speed. I wanted to try and catch up to the little white car.
Up until this point, the tunnel was a straight shot, but now the tunnel started to curve to the right. It may have been my imagination but it also felt as though we were descending…
Mia felt it too and she started to get antsy.
“Where did that other car go? How long is this tunnel?”
There was an urgency in her voice.
I was getting nervous, claustrophobia was not usually a problem for me but when I looked down at the odometer and I saw that it had gone up by 3 miles, my mind began to wander to unsettling places.
We were descending in altitude. I could feel it. I could see a slope in the lights on the ceiling and the railing of the maintenance walkway. I could feel a pressure in my head, and I was getting cold.
“Could you grab me a coke from the back, Mia?”
I couldn’t have Mia getting anxious, that would only start a chain reaction and make me freak out which would then make her freak out.
She unbuckled and ducked into the back of the RV to where we had a cooler stocked with drinks and food.
Just as she stepped into the back, I saw something.
There standing on the side of the road was a MAN wearing a reflective safety vest and a hard hat. He was WAVING to me as I passed him by.
Something about him looked... strange…
I watched him in the side-view mirror as we passed and he was still watching the RV, still waving at the back of our vehicle as he faded into the distance.
Mia reappeared from the back of the RV, Coke in hand. She popped it and handed it to me.
“You look worried.”
“I’m fine,” I smiled and took a sip of the Coke.
“Eric, slow down!”
I slammed on the breaks as I saw what made Mia scream. In the road in front of us was a roadblock.
Two reflective traffic sawhorses blocked both lanes of the tunnel. Beyond the roadblock, the lights of the tunnel were dark. There was nothing but a void of blackness.
Standing in front of the roadblock was another man wearing a reflective vest and a hard hat, only this time his hard hat had a light on top which obscured his face.
We came to a jolting stop.
I turned to Mia
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“I’m fine,” she replied. “It’s a cave-in isn’t it?”
“God, I hope not.”
I rolled down the window, leaned out and yelled to the man in the hard hat.
“Hey! What’s going on?!”
The man was about 5 yards away. He took two steps towards us and then raised a hand to his mouth and yelled.
“Just doing some maintenance!”
“How long is it going to take?!” I yelled back.
The man made a hand gesture as if he didn’t hear me.
“How long is it going to take?!” I called again.
He made the same gesture. I unbuckled my seat belt and grabbed the door release.
“What are you doing?” Mia asked.
“I gotta know what’s going on.”
“Eric, just stay here, it might not be safe.”
“I’ll be just a second,” I said.
I pushed the door open and stepped down from the RV.
“Stay in your vehicle!” the man yelled.
He took a couple steps towards me with his hand out telling me to stop.
“What’s the hold up?!” I shouted.
The man was a bit closer now but I still couldn’t see his face through the shining light on his helmet.
“Please stay in your vehicle!” he shouted.
There was something off about him.
Then I heard it–
“EEEAAAUUUUUUGHHHHHHHH!!!”
A scream, or something, rolled from deep in the tunnel. The worker turned and looked into the darkness. Then he ran past the barricades and soon all we could see of him was the light on his helmet.
The light disappeared a moment later.
“What the hell was that?! Is someone hurt?” Mia asked.
“I have no idea,” I said.
“Should we do something?” Mia asked.
I just sat there and watched the pitch black tunnel in front of me. I had no idea what to tell her. I checked the sideview mirrors. There was still nobody behind us.
“Where are the other cars?” I asked.
“They must have gotten through before the roadblock... Or maybe they caused the roadblock?” Mia replied.
“I saw another worker a little ways back. We could try to go back and talk to him.”
“We’d be going straight into any oncoming cars.”
“There’s a maintenance walkway. We didn’t pass him that long ago. We can probably catch him on foot.”
“Maybe we should just wait for the guy to come back.”
She reached over and grabbed my arm. I squeezed her hand.
She was right.
I looked out at the tunnel ahead of us. I turned on the RV’s high beams but all I could see beyond the roadblock was more tunnel and more road.
I checked my phone. Unsurprisingly, there was no service still.
We waited, but the man never came back.
“It’s been twenty minutes,” Mia said, “How come there hasn’t been another car behind us?
I was having the same thought. I rolled down my window and stuck my head out. I looked back at the road behind us. It went back about 200 yards before curving out of sight.
There was no sign of that first worker I saw on the maintenance walk way. I looked at the roadblock ahead of us and clicked on the RV’s high beams. There was nothing beyond the roadblock but more tunnel. It didn’t look like it was under construction, just very dark.
“I think we should keep going,” I said.
“What about the roadblock?”
“We’ll move those sawhorses out of the way and just drive past,” I said as I opened my door.
Mia looked at me, then she cast her eyes to the dark tunnel ahead of us. I knew she was processing the same limited options that I was.
Driving backwards would be a huge risk in the instance of another car finally coming along.
Getting out and walking would take God knows how long, we could have driven 10 miles at this point.
Forward was our best option.
“Let’s do it,” Mia said.
We jumped out and quickly pulled the two sawhorses out of the right lane. I pulled the RV up past the barriers, then we jumped out again and put the sawhorses back where they were. We didn't need another car to come barreling through.
We were finally moving again, slowly. It was pitch black save for the high beams of the RV.
We crept forward at around 15 miles per hour. As the tunnel turned and twisted, my eyes started to play tricks on me. I kept seeing shapes at the furthest point of the tunnel.
I kept seeing something standing just at the end of the next bend but as we roll forward, there was nothing there.
“Where are the workers?” Mia asked.
“I don’t know.”
I was done rationalizing. This was all wrong. Traffic tunnels are never this long.
My mind started to wander to all the road trip urban legends I’d read about; The Killer in the Backseat, The Disappearing Gas Station, The Pale Man In The Corn Field.
Did we stumble into some strange outlier location? An in-between point on the endless roads that cross this country?
Then I saw it–
“Look! A person! Thank god!” Mia shouted.
As we rounded a curve in the tunnel, a group of maintenance workers entered our view.
The three of them stood on the left side of the road behind two more sawhorses topped with flashing lights.
Two of them faced towards us, the third was facing the other two.
The one with his back to us wore a light on his hard hat. Was this the same guy we saw earlier? How did he get this far away?
I approached slowly and rolled down the window.
“Hey! You left us waiting back there!” I yelled.
There was no response.
In fact, all three men were completely silent, and it was hard to tell in the flashing light of the sawhorses, but they looked to be standing COMPLETELY STILL.
“Hello?!” I yelled again.
I pushed open my door and stepped out onto the pavement.
“Eric wait--”
I held up a finger to Mia.
“Just a second.”
I slowly stepped towards the 3 men.
“Hello?”
No response… What the fuck?
The bright lights of the sawhorses obscured their faces.
I kept moving closer.
“Hey, what’s going on--”
Then I saw it.
Their faces... They were plastic.
In front of me stood three mannequins.
I backed away toward the RV, then I turned and walked hurriedly to the vehicle.
I was seriously freaked out but I didn’t want to alarm Mia. I climbed into the driver’s seat and slammed the door shut.
“They’re mannequins.” I said.
“What?”
“They’re mannequins.”
”Why?... What?...”
“I don’t know…”
I looked back over at the three figures and my blood ran cold…
The Hard Hat Mannequin had somehow TURNED AROUND to face us. All three figures appeared to be watching us now.
Then we heard it--
A loud resonant banging on the side, and then the roof of the RV.
“What the hell was that?” Mia whispered.
We listened, holding our breath. Then--
A shuffling sound--
Something was moving ON or IN the RV.
“Stay here.” I said.
I got up.
“Eric, wait!”
I moved to the back of the RV.
It was dark. I went for a drawer in the kitchenette space and pulled out a flashlight.
I moved to the rear of the RV, the bedroom. My flashlight illuminated an empty room.
“Whoever is back here, I have a gun…”
A shitty bluff. But I didn’t see anything.
I shone the light out of the windows of each side of the RV. Nothing.
Then I heard it–
A shuffling sound, from right above me.
I looked up and screamed–
“Fuck!”
On the roof of the RV, staring through the skylight was a woman with vacuous black eyes and a dead smile.
Her stringy black hair dangled down towards me casting thing black shadows across her horrible pale face.
“Mia, drive! Fast!” I screamed.
Mia JUMPED over to the driver’s seat, shifted into gear and STOMPED on the gas. The RV was clunky but it could move when it needed to.
We lurched forward and I fell back.
I trained my flashlight up onto the skylight again and the woman was gone.
I scrambled to my feet and looked out of the side windows.
Did Mia shake her off? There was no sign of the woman. I moved to the passenger seat, breathing heavily and sweating.
“What happened?” She asked, keeping the RV at a steady 50 mph.
“There was a woman on the roof,” I said flatly.
I realize now that I was in a kind of shock.
“A woman?”
“Her eyes were black.”
Mia just looked at me, then back at the tunnel ahead of us.
“There’s something wrong with this tunnel.” I whispered.
Mia pointed at the road ahead, “Look.”
I looked out at the tunnel. There were more mannequins. A LOT more mannequins. They were positioned on both sides of the road.
They were all facing us and even though I never saw them move, when I looked in the side-view mirror, they were somehow STILL facing us, turning to watch us as we drove past. Watching without eyes.
“Just keep driving.” I said.
As we drove on, the mannequins crowded the sides of the road more and more. There were thousands of them. Eventually they were so close that some of their outstretched arms hit the side of the RV.
They were closing in on us. Squeezing our path forward. One stood in the middle of the road.
“I don’t think i can get around it.”
“Run it over. Don’t stop.”
The RV smashed into the mannequin. Its head shot forward and bounced against the windshield and the vehicle shuddered as it rolled over the body.
Soon there were two in the road. Then three.
I could see where this was going. Pretty soon there would be too many for the RV to ram through, but goddammit we were going to get through as many as we could.
“Speed up, Mia.”
CRASH!
The sound was surreal, smashing into mannequin after mannequin at nearly 60 miles per hour.
Hands, legs, heads and torsos flew.
The windshield cracked, the RV shuddered and screamed and eventually slowed down, despite the screaming engine.
I’m certain the axle was jammed up with lifeless, plastic body parts. Eventually we came to a stop.
“She won’t move,” Mia said.
She pressed on the gas but it was no use, the RV just rocked a little bit.
“Try reverse.”
She shifted and pressed on the gas, we got some decent movement before running into another jam.
“Fuck.”
“Should we get out and look?” Mia asked.
“I’ll go,” I said as I grabbed the flashlight and popped the passenger door. Mia unbuckled her seatbelt.
“We’ll go together.”
We stumbled out of the RV on the passenger side. It was like stepping into Hell.
Countless, lifeless faces stared out at us from the darkness. The only light came from the headlights of the RV and my flashlight.
We clumsily made our way along the side of the RV. The ground was littered with mannequin pieces.
I thought to myself, if we could get a couple yards cleared out behind the rear tires, we might be able to back out and get enough momentum to reverse all the way back out of here.
Instead, when we got to the back of the RV, my stomach flipped and my heart sank.
I was expecting to see a trail of flattened mannequins, instead the RV was now surrounded by thousands of perfectly intact mannequins standing at attention. As if their ranks had some how been replenished after our vehicular assault.
“This is impossible.”
She started to cry. I held her close.
“We’ll keep moving.” I said.
“It will never end. The tunnel makes no sense. It only curves one direction.”
I looked at her.
“What do you mean?”
“This whole time the tunnel has only been curving to the right. it would sometimes straighten out or go left for a few yards but before too long we were curving to the right again. We’ve either been driving in circles or spiraling downwards.”
“So we’ll go back the way we came and hope we’re not going in circles.” I said.
We had been driving for hours at this point. Walking back out the way we came would take days. But now that I thought about it, Mia was right, we’d only been curving to the right.
This tunnel seemed to be very gradually taking us downwards into the earth.
Going forward would not get us any closer to escape.
“We’ll need food from the RV,” Mia said.
I nodded and we stumbled our way back to the front of the RV, the mannequins’ lifeless faces watching us the whole time.
I stepped up to the passenger door and nearly fell back when I looked through the window.
“What the fuck?” I breathed.
What I saw were two mannequins sitting in the driver’s and passenger’s seat.
How they got in there? I have no idea, but what really made my blood run cold was that they were dressed EXACTLY like MIA and I.
They wore identical sets of clothes. The one in the passenger seat had my same New Order T-shirt and black jeans. The one in the driver’s seat had Mia’s green striped sweater and denim shorts.
Their plastic faces stared out through the shattered windshield at the endless crowd of mannequins staring back at them.
Mia stepped up and saw the uncanny display.
“What the fuck?” Mia echoed.
I pulled myself up into the RV and slowly stepped around my mannequin doppelgänger. I avoided looking into its face but I swear i could feel it watching me as I stumbled around it.
Mia followed and we made our way into the back of our dark RV. Luckily we had just stocked our cooler full of deli meat and water not long after crossing the Colorado state line.
I handed Mia the flashlight and pulled open the cooler. I filled a backpack full of food and water.
I turned and saw them–
My mannequin double had somehow moved. It was standing in the aisle watching us.
Mia’s doppelgänger was still seated in the driver’s seat but had turned to peer back at us with its eyeless gaze.
Mia saw the look in my eyes and turned. She screamed when she saw them and backed into me. I put my arm around her and we stood there a moment, letting our skyrocketing heart rates return to Earth.
“Let’s get out of here,” I said.
I slid the backpack onto my shoulders.
Mia joined me at the door. I looked into her eyes. “Are you ready?” She nodded. I kissed her.
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you,” she said.
The look on her face killed me. She was terrified. I’m sure the look on my face was similar.
I opened the door and we stepped out…
We again stumbled to the back of the RV. Once we were clear of the RV and all the crushed mannequin body parts, it became easier to find footing, though weaving through an endless crowd of lifeless people was a slow process.
It was pitch black. Without the flashlight we wouldn’t be able to see a foot in front of us.
As I walked, the beam of light created the illusion of movement in the crowd. At least I hoped it was an illusion.
The limbs of the mannequins seemed to stretch and turn, but the only sound was that of Mia and I shuffling our way through the crowded tunnel.
Things went on like this for what felt like hours. Mia and I were sweating and aching. I was about to suggest we stop and rest, but then I saw it and I froze…
Out in the crowd, beyond rows of blank faces I saw a pale face, black hair and a dead smile.
I saw two vacuous eyes staring right at me.
“Mia, do you see her?” I whispered.
“See who?”
I slowly raised my arm and pointed.
It was the woman, or whatever it was, that stared back at me through the skylight on the roof of the RV.
“Oh my god!” Mia squeaked.
I could see now that the Pale Faced Woman was tall. A few inches taller than the mannequins.
As I pointed, she stared back at me with that terrible grin.
“What do we do?” Mia whispered.
I raised the flashlight and pointed it right at the Pale Faced Woman. I thought maybe this would scare her off.
I was wrong.
The light only made her appear more unsettling as she stared back, unflinchingly.
“What do you want?!” I yelled.
She only stared back at me. She was as still as the mannequins.
“We have to keep going.” I whispered.
Mia didn’t respond. Her body was tense as she held onto me.
“We’ve come this far, we can’t turn back again,” I continued.
I pulled Mia’s hand and we continued on our way through the mannequins, keeping the distance between us and her as wide as possible.
As we moved past, she kept watching us. Though her movements were imperceptible to us, her eyes never left us. Like one of those portraits whose eyes appear to watch you no matter where you stand.
Finally, we got far enough that she was out of sight. But the thought of her being somewhere behind us only unsettled me further and I quickened our pace.
As the hours wore on, there was no sign of the Pale Faced Woman and the crowd of mannequins began to thin out. They still populated the tunnel from one end to the other, but there was more space between them, allowing Mia and I to walk more freely.
The mannequins on the maintenance walkway on the side of the tunnel seemed to thin out as well and I decided it would give us a better vantage if we were walking up there.
I helped Mia climb up the railing that bordered the walkway, then I climbed up behind her. The walkway was elevated 3 or 4 feet above the roadway. We could easily see over the heads of the mannequins in both directions.
There was, of course, no end to the tunnel in sight.
We kept walking.
The mannequins continued to thin out, but they were different now.
There were mannequins dressed as maintenance workers again, but also mannequins dressed as families and businessmen. There was even a group of mannequin nuns standing in a single file line, heads bowed in prayer.
Needless to say, we passed none of this on the way in to the tunnel. I was feeling very hopeless that we were going to be able to find our way out.
I was far beyond speculating how this was at all possible. It’s NOT possible. And even if it were, there is no good reason for someone to do this to us.
The only explanation was the supernatural. Then I saw Her. Rather, I saw THEM.
Arranged in the middle of the tunnel was a circle of mannequins with long black hair and tattered cloth.
They looked exactly like the Pale Faced Woman, minus any facial features. I kept a close watch on them as we passed to make sure they didn’t start following us.
“A door!” Mia shouted.
Mia pointed a few paces ahead of her. There was a door leading into the wall of the tunnel.
We ran towards it. Mia grabbed the handle, turned it and pulled. It was heavy and Mia had to brace her foot on the wall to get it moving.
The metal door groaned as if it hadn’t been opened in years.
Finally, it was open enough to see past.
It was a hallway. It went out about 5 yards then turned right at a 90 degree angle.
The strangest part was the design of the hallway.
It wasn’t cement or pavement like the tunnel.
The walls were wood paneled and the floor was covered in a thick carpet, like a house from the 1970s.
“I say we see where this takes us.” Mia said.
There was no reason to disagree, but I wasn’t going to get us trapped in there.
I opened up my backpack and took out a water bottle. I opened it and handed it to Mia. She drank half, then I drank the other half.
I slowly closed the door, shoving the empty water bottle in the crack to keep it from closing all the way.
I turned to Mia-- “Okay, let’s go.”
We slowly made our way down the quiet hallway. We got down to where the hallway cornered to the right and that’s when we heard it–
KA-CHUNK!!!--
I whipped around. The door had closed behind us. I ran back to it and tried to push it open, but it was no use. There was no way it closed on its own.
Someone had to have removed the water bottle. Our path had been chosen for us.
There was no turning back.
We continued down the hallway. We turned right. The hallway continued, then turned right again. That should have led us right back to the tunnel. But it didn’t. This part of the hallway went on far longer than was possible without running into the tunnel. Then it turned right again.
It went on like this. Sometimes a section of the hallway was 20 feet long, sometimes it was 20 yards long, sometimes it was 3 feet long. But it always turned to the right.
At first it was a relief to be somewhere other than the cold, dark tunnel. But the hallway very quickly became claustrophobic and before too long, I heard someone walking behind us.
We had stopped to take a break and I heard a third pair of footsteps on the carpet coming from behind us. I backtracked to the last corner.
I was terrified as I slowly peeked around the corner, tense and waiting to see the vacuous eyes and inky black hair of the Pale Faced Woman... but there was nothing there. I wasn’t about to backtrack any further.
“There was no one there.” I whispered.
Mia slumped against the wall and slid down to the carpet.
“I think I need to rest.” She said.
I put my backpack down on the ground for Mia to use as a pillow. She laid her head down and was passed out in seconds.
I had no idea how long we had been walking at this point. I stood leaning against the wall. My body was telling me to rest but I couldn’t risk falling asleep. I had to keep watch. I knew SHE was following us.
I took in the details of the hallway for the first time. The carpet was a dull brown and the walls a cheap wood paneling. The hanging lighting fixtures were shaded by stained glass, something you might see in an old diner.
Who built this place? Did someone pick out the carpet and the lighting fixtures? Did a team of workers blast these tunnels into the Earth? Or has this place always existed? Was this Purgatory?
I began to feel dizzy. I was panicking. My heart felt like it was trying to escape my chest. I slumped to the floor and tried to slow my breathing.
I closed my eyes... –
I SHOT up in a panic. I had fallen asleep while I was meant to be keeping watch.
I snapped to my feet and looked around.
Mia was still asleep on my backpack.
Then I noticed that the hallway had changed. A few paces away there was now a plain wooden door in the wall.
I slowly approached it. I put my ear to the door and I could hear what sounded like TV static and the low murmur of voices.
I discreetly grabbed the door handle and turned it slowly. I felt the latch bolt clear and I carefully cracked the door just enough to peek inside.
It was dark, so it took a second for me to register what I was seeing. I saw a small board room. A long table in the center was surrounded by seated men in suits.
At the end of the table stood another man next to an old CRT TV that was playing static. This was the only source of light in the room and all the men around the table were turned towards the tv.
Suddenly the screen flickered from static to a solid dark background. And some warped new age style muzak began playing.
Then the words appeared on the screen that terrified me like nothing else before. In plain text the words read–
“YOU WILL LOSE HER.”
I froze as I knew these words were meant for me I watched with terror as the men seated around the table slowly turned toward me in unison.
They were mannequins.
The TV screen then clicked off and they continued staring at me as I could barely make out their forms through the near pitch darkness.
I quickly pulled the door shut. And whipped around to look at Mia, I had a horrible feeling of dread that when I turned around she would be gone, like the message on the TV promised–
“Eric? What are you doing?” Mia was leaning up and staring at me.
Thank God. There was Mia, right where I left her.
I pointed at the door and said, “This door appeared and I--”
“What door?” she interrupted.
I turned and sure enough, the door was now gone.
I explained what happened to her, but I left out the message that appeared on the screen.
-- YOU WILL LOSE HER –
Those words still burned in my brain. I tried to force them out.
We drank water, ate granola and then got moving again.
Hallways. Endless hallways.
After a couple hours of walking we started to hear music. There were small speakers in the corners of the ceiling.
I recognized it as the same new-age muzak that played on the TV in the board room. The melody drilled into our minds. Combined with the dull aesthetics of the quiet hallways and the endless right turns, the music had a hypnotizing effect.
The lengths of the halls became more uniform. That is to say, the straight section of hallway was about 7 paces, then a right turn, then 7 paces and a right turn.
“I think we’re walking in circles... or a square,” Mia said.
I looked at her and took out a bottle of water. I peeled off the plastic label and dropped it on the floor.
Then we kept walking.
7 paces, right turn. 7 paces, right turn. 7 paces, right turn. And there it was... Mia was right.
The label from my water bottle lay in the middle of the hallway. Somehow we had been led into a loop. I lost it.
“FUUUCK!”
I kicked the wall repeatedly and screamed. Mia just leaned her back against the wall.
This was our dynamic. If one of us lost it, the other became zen and thought of a solution. More often than not, I was the one to lose it.
I finally stopped freaking out
“There has to be a way out. A door,” Mia said.
“We would have seen it,” I replied.
“A hidden door,” she said.
She turned around and ran her hands along the cracks of the wood paneling.
“Most likely on the outer wall,” she said.
She beat her fist on the wall, listening for a change in the sound. I exhaled heavily, sweating and tired, and I started searching the wall as well.
We checked the whole first wall, nothing. We checked the second wall, nothing. The third, nothing.
The final wall... Nothing. I gave up and slumped on the floor. Mia immediately went over to the other side of the hall and started checking the inner wall.
“What are you doing? I thought you said it would be on the outer wall?” I asked.
Then we heard it.
Mia beat the wall and instead of the dead thud, we heard a resonate BOOM –
A door…
I shot up and started tapping the wall with Mia until we found where the door ended. It was the width of about 4 wooden panels. I lined myself up in the center, lowered my shoulder and pushed–
IT MOVED! It barely moved but it was enough to confirm this actually was a door! I re-centered and tried again, lowering my center of gravity, I pushed as hard as I could. The door pushed inward about 3 inches, then Mia joined in. We slowly moved the door, 5 inches, then 10, then 15, then 20.
Then Mia slipped inside.
I had a moment of panic as she disappeared into the darkness and those haunting words came back into my mind, “YOU WILL LOSE HER.”
I darted past the doorway, falling through the threshold and hitting the concrete floor.
I looked up and there was Mia, thank God. I promised myself I’d never let her out of my sight again.
“The exit...” Mia said.
She looked and sounded as if she were a thousand miles away. I got to my feet and followed her gaze. What I saw nearly brought me to tears.
We were back in the tunnel, but there was light. About a mile down was the mouth of the tunnel, and daylight pouring in. Beautiful daylight. I grabbed Mia tight and kissed her.
“Thank God...” she cried.
We started moving. Nothing was going to slow us down this time. We sped up into a RUN down the maintenance walkway towards that beautiful sunlight.
As we approached, something else came into view. Parked in the middle of the roadway was a large vehicle…
It couldn’t be…
It was!
Our RV sat in the road waiting for us. We ran all the way to it, pulled open the passenger side door and climbed in. There were no mannequins to be seen.
I fell into the driver’s seat and Mia handed me the keys. I turned over the engine, the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. I shifted into gear and floored it towards the sunlight.
As we got closer, I could see the green of trees and the blue of the sky. We were maybe one hundred yards away.
I turned to Mia, tears in my eyes…
And what I saw turned my blood to ice.
Just beyond Mia’s window, that horrifying pale face grinned at me.
The Pale Faced Woman was somehow floating outside of the RV.
Before I could say anything, her hand smashed through the window and gripped Mia by the throat, then in one horrible motion the thing PULLED MIA SCREAMING THROUGH THE WINDOW AND…
Disappeared…
I SLAMMED on the breaks just as the RV passed through the exit of the tunnel and sunlight flooded the cab of the RV. I threw it in park and shot out of the door screaming.
“Mia!? Mia??!!”
I screamed over and over. I rounded the front of the RV and looked back at the tunnel –
-- and what I saw shattered my mind…
The tunnel was gone.
There was only open road.
I had lost her.

Date: 05/21/2024

Reading time: 10 minutes, 2056 words

🪖 Military

Armenia participates in NATO's Regex 2024 headquarters exercise in Moldova

Armenia is participating in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) Regex 2024 headquarters exercise that have started in Moldova on May 20. The military exercises will be held from May 20 to 24. They are attended by about 30 representatives from NATO partner countries.

Armenpress

Armenian army factor is important for security guarantees, but it is not the only one - Security Council Secretary

Armenian Security Council Secretary Armen Grigoryan said in an interview with Civilnet that having combat-ready and effective armed forces is very important for ensuring security guarantees. Attempts have been made over the past 6 years to expand the notion of security, he said.

ArkaAm

NATO and Armenia strengthen cooperation in defense education

Representatives from the Armenian Ministry of Defense met with their counterparts at NATO Headquarters at the end of April. Reviewed activities conducted within the framework of NATO’s Defence Education Enhancement Programme (DEEP) for Armenia. Set out the plan of joint activities for the rest of the year and for 2025.

ArmRadio

Funeral procession of Iranian president Raisi starts in Tabriz

The funeral procession of Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi and seven others killed in a helicopter crash began in the northwestern city of Tabriz on Tuesday morning. Another funeral service is scheduled to be held in the holy city of Qom on Tuesday evening. The president will be laid to rest on May 23 at noon in Mashhad in northeastern Iran.

Armenpress, The National Assembly observes minute of silence for Iranian President and staff lost in helicopter crash

🏛️ Politics & Government

Azerbaijani FM makes phone call to Iran's acting Foreign Minister

Jeyhun Bayramov and Ali Bagheri held phone conversation on May 21, Azerbaijani media reports say. Bayramv expressed condolences to Iranian government and people of Iran on tragic death of Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi, Foreign Minister Hossein Amirabdollahian.

Armenpress

Armenian, Slovenian foreign ministries address security implications of recent developments

Political consultations between the ministries of foreign affairs of Armenia and Slovenia were held in Yerevan. The parties emphasized the importance of further deepening the political dialogue between the two countries. The latest international and regional developments were addressed at the meeting.

Armenpress

Joint statement adopted at the International Conference on Nuclear Security; Armenia joins

A Co-Presidents’ Joint Statement was adopted during the International Conference on Nuclear Security held in Vienna on May 20-21. Armenia, among other participating countries, joined the Statement.

Armenpress

Alen Simonyan, Ruslan Stefanchuk discuss the security situation in the South Caucasus and Ukraine

The Armenian National Assembly President Alen Simonyan and the Speaker of the Verkhovna (Supreme) Rada of Ukraine Ruslan Stefanchuk held via video conference. The interlocutors discussed the security situation in the South Caucasus and in Ukraine.

Armenpress, Armenian, Ukrainian Parliament Speakers discuss situation in the South Caucasus and Ukraine

Armenia top security official receives CIA deputy director

Secretary of the Armenian Security Council Armen Grigoryan received a delegation from the CIA. Issues related to Armenia-US bilateral cooperation as well as regional security were discussed at the meeting.

Armenpress, Armen Grigoryan and Hamad Khamis Al-Kubaisi discuss prospects for Armenia-Qatar relations, Pashinyan holds meeting with CIA deputy director, Armenia, Qatar discuss developing economic relations, Pashinyan discussed issues related to the Armenia-US and international agenda with the deputy head of the US CIA, Armenian PM, CIA Deputy Director discuss international, regional issues, Armenia-Qatar ties discussed in Doha

Moldova signs security and defence partnership with EU

Moldova has signed a security and defence partnership with the European Union. It is the first country to sign such a deal with the EU. The deal will allow to jointly address common security challenges.

Armenpress

Mirzoyan and Floyd highlight comprehensive Nuclear-Test-Ban Treaty's role in non- proliferation and nuclear disarmament

The Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Republic of Armenia Ararat Mirzoyan had a meeting with the Executive Secretary of the Comprehensive Nuclear-Test-Ban Treaty Organization Robert Floyd in Vienna. The role of the Treaty in non-proliferation and nuclear disarmament was emphasized on both sides.

Armenpress

Eurasian Fund for Stabilization and Development to be involved in Armenia’s infrastructure projects

Armenia's Vice Prime Minister Mher Grigoryan and Managing Director of the Eurasian Fund for Stabilization and Development (EFSD) Andrey Shirokov discussed the Fund's involvement in Armenia's infrastructure projects. The parties also pointed out the importance of Armenia’s participation in large regional projects.

ArkaAm

Security Council Secretary: Armenia ready to sign peace treaty with Azerbaijan ‘any day’

Armenia is ready to sign a peace treaty with Azerbaijan 'any day' Armenia’s Security Council Secretary Armen Grigoryan said he is hoping to sign the treaty “as soon as possible” Armenia”s officials mentioned the three basic principles it expects the treaty to be based on multiple times.

ArkaAm

Victory or concessions? Secretary of Security Council comments on delimitation ofborder with Azerbaijan

Armenian Security Council Secretary Armen Grigoryan declined to describe launch of border demarcation with Azerbaijan as a victory or concessions amid ongoing occupation of parts of the sovereign territory of the country by Azerbaijan. Armenia ceded 2.5 villages to Azerbaijan, but there are territories that were returned to Armenia.

ArkaAm

Armenia calls for prohibiting threats of attacks on nuclear facilities

Armenia has raised the need for a treaty prohibiting attacks on nuclear facilities devoted to peaceful purposes.

PanArmenian

Armenian lawyers protest against bill that will increase the cost of their services

Armenian lawyers have expressed dissatisfaction with a new bill on the parliament's agenda. From October 2024 they will have to pay 10% turnover tax instead of 5% now, and from 2025 they will pay 20% VAT. Head of the Armenian Chamber of Advocates Simon Babayan said that such a tax increase will lead to a significant increase in the price of lawyer services by 38%.

ArkaAm

Funeral procession moves to Qom, Iran

Caskets of Iran's President and fellow passengers are now being transferred from Tabriz to Qom. The city is considered the second most sacred city in Iran after Mashhad. State media are reporting that the bodies will be carried around the shrine. The bodies will then be taken to the capital, Tehran, where they will be laid to rest.

ArmRadio

💵 Economy

Armenia works on diversification of economy with an eye on Europe - Secretary of the Security Council

Armenia is working hard to diversify its economy with the prospect of increasing exports to Europe. Secretary of the Security Council Armen Grigoryan said the country has not yet achieved significant success in the economic sphere. Armenia's foreign trade turnover with EU countries in first quarter of 2024 reached almost $494.3 million.

ArkaAm, Armenia is working to diversify its economy with the prospect of exporting to Europe. AX:

Almost 100 taxpayers in Armenia fined 55.25 million drams for unregistered workers

In April 2024, about 98 business entities in Armenia were found to have unregistered workers. In particular, the fines imposed on 17 companies amounted to about AMD 29.8 million. These companies are engaged in the sale of flowers and seeds, furniture production, cosmetics, jewelry and perfumes.

ArkaAm

Armenia’s GDP grows by 9.2% up to 1.97 trillion AMD

Armenia's GDP increased by 9.2% in Q1 2024 compared to the same period of 2023. Manufacturing industry showed the highest growth, standing at 31.1%, repair of cars and motorcycles grew by 25.1% In nominal terms, the country's GDP in current prices amounted to 1,971,230.4 million drams at the end of the reporting period.

ArkaAm

Second tranche of loan for development of MSMEs provided to Ardshinbank by EBRD and EU

Ardshinbank signed an agreement with the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development (EBRD) and the European Union (EU) for the allocation of the second tranche of financing to re-lending micro, small, and medium businesses. This lending is carried out under the “MSME Competitiveness in the Eastern Partnership (EaP SMEC)” program. The agreement will support MSME investments in sustainable technologies, as well as towards health and safety.

ArkaAm, The EBRD and the EU granted Ardshinbank the second tranche of the loan for the development of SMEs (PHOTO)

Ambassador sees potential for expansion of trade between Armenia and Brazil

Diplomatic relations between Armenia and Brazil were established more than 30 years ago. Ambassador Yeganian said that the trade between the two countries amounts to approximately $100 million dollars annually. Brazil is one of the largest economies in the world, and Armenia has seen impressive economic growth.

ArmRadio

Armenia an emerging destination for UK and global investors – Ambassador

Armenia’s Ambassador to UK Varuzhan Nersesyan writes in an article published by London Business Matters. He emphasizes that Armenia in recent years Armenia has made significant progress on enhancing its business environment, creating opportunities and favorable conditions for investment.

ArmRadio

🧪 Science & Technology

Surveying works underway in Armenia’s Kirants

Surveying works are underway in the Armenian village of Kirants in the northern Tavush province.

PanArmenian

IAEA’s Grossi to visit Kaliningrad May 28 to discuss ZNPP

IAEA Director-General Rafael Grossi will visit Kaliningrad on May 28 to discuss the situation at the Zaporozhye nuclear power plant. Russia's permanent representative to international organizations in Vienna Mikhail Ulyanov said.

Armenpress

IAEA supports Armenia’s nuclear program – Rafael Grossi

International Atomic Energy Agency supports Armenia’s nuclear program, IAEA Director General Rafael Mariano Grossi wrote on X. Grossi presented the results of his meeting with Minister of Foreign Affairs of Armenia Ararat Mirzoyan.

Armenpress, Effective cooperation is established between Armenia and IAEA

Tree Planting Results with My Forest Armenia: The Power of One Dram

During March and April 2022, AMD 10.757.867 was directed to the afforestation program of the "My Forest Armenia" NGO, 16,000 trees were planted. Representatives of IDBank and Idram visited Jrashen again to see the newly planted forest.

Armenpress

Mirzoyan: Armenia will extend lifetime of current nuclear power unit with smooth transition tonew capacity by 2036

The Armenian NPP is one of the main sources of electricity in the country, providing up to 40% of the total generation. Its service life has been extended until 2026, and work is underway to re-extend it for another 10 years. The construction of a new plant is estimated to take 8-10 years.

ArkaAm, Armenia has decided to extend the operation period of the NPP until 2036, with the ultimate goal of a smooth transition to the new capacity. Minister of Foreign Affairs, Armenia says ready to extend nuclear plant’s lifetime by 10 years

🎭 Culture

ARARAT Special Evening Dedicated to the 100th Anniversary of Charles Aznavour

On May 20 ARARAT legendary Armenian brandy, celebrated the centennial of Maestro Charles Aznavour with a special event. The event took place at the "One & Only" theater within the Seven Visions Hotel. Guests of the event had the chance to reveal the brandy on the course of special tasting.

Armenpress, VTB Armenia general sponsor for Charles Aznavour 100th birthday tribute concert, VTB-Armenia Bank acted as the main sponsor of the concert dedicated to the 100th anniversary of Charles Aznavour., For you, Charles: Yerevan to host exhibition on Aznavour’s centennial anniversary, ARARAT special evening dedicated to Aznavour's 100th Anniv.

“Yerevan Ballet Festival” to host theater groups from various countries

The "Yerevan Ballet Festival" will be held on June 2-5 in the park named after Hovhannes Tumanyan. Admission to the outdoor ballet festival is free.

Armenpress

Aznavouriana: Album dedicated to Aznavour’s 100th anniversary released

The album “Aznavouriana” by Deutsche Grammophon is already released and is available since May 17, 2024, just ahead of the artist’s birthday. The album is a collection of exquisite interpretations of globally beloved iconic songs.

ArmRadio

⚽ Sport

Gymnasts left for Bulgaria

Gymnastics team will participate in "World Challenge Cup" to be held in Bulgaria. Artur Davtyan, Artur Avetisyan, Erik Baghdasaryan, and Artur Tovmasyan will represent Armenia in the regular round.

Armenpress

Hayk Martirosyan wins 7th round of Sharjah tournament

Shant Sargsyan, Samvel Ter-Sahakyan, Manuel Petrosyan shared the point. Hayk Martirosyan won the 7th round of the Sharjah Masters 2024 international tournament in UAE. The leaders are participants from India and the USA with 5.5 points.

Armenpress

Donations to Armenia:

Himnadram
ServicemenFund
Armenian Wounded Heroes
ArmeniaFund

I used 2D array for last question but I’m pretty sure it’s unneeded. The question only wants the team name and their high score outputted so all the teams and their scores are irrelevant right? Like I just needed to store whatever team has highest in a different variable and print that out

Join Day Raiders Heroic and Mythic Progression Raiding Team on Illidan (NA)
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Join Day Raiders Heroic and Mythic Progression Raiding Team on Illidan (NA)
Greetings, fellow adventurers!
Have you ever wanted to dive into Heroic or Mythic raiding but find it challenging to commit during peak hours? Day Raiders on Illidan (NA) is here for you! We're actively seeking skilled and committed players to enhance our Heroic and Mythic Raiding Team for not only season 4 of DragonFlight, but also The War Within.
🛡️ Guild Name: Day Raiders
🌐 Realm: Illidan (NA)
🗓️ Raid Days: Wednesday & Thursday
🕗 Raid Times: 8am - 11am EST
⚔️ Min ilvl: Heroic-485 Mythic-500
🫵 Needs for Mythic Prog: DPS
If you're passionate about raiding but struggle with peak hours, Day Raiders offers a unique opportunity. We understand the importance of flexibility and are open to accommodating dedicated players who can't commit during traditional raid times.
This includes gearing up returning players through our Mythic+ teams and Wednesday Heroic raid clears as well as our Normal Achievement runs!
🚀 What We Offer:

• Experienced leadership
  
• AOTC content
  
• Mythic raiding opportunities
  
• Introduction to M+
  
• Supportive community
  
• Fun and laid-back environment
  

💬 Contact Information: For any questions or to express your interest, reach out to our recruitment officer on discord: Deskust
GuildsOfWoW Page
Raider.IO
WowProgress

Things I've heard in the last week while working at whataburger. "I know he wants me to work off the clock." -a manager talking about OP yelling at him over the phone about labor
"We'd rather give them their whole meal free than get a cct." -Manager to Team Member who said "you need to pay if you want me to give you your burger" to a customer who was clearly trying to get free stuff by saying "I don't like your tone" to the team member and refusing to pay when the team member did nothing but tell them their total and attempt to hand them their drink. (Customer ended up paying for their burger but not their fries when a team lead came to the window.)
"Don't argue with them" -in regards to attempting to collect payment from customer refusing to pay.
"I don't care what anyone says, one ketchup per bag, that's it!" -OP to store in huddle
"Just give them as many sauce cups as you want, we're not allowed to charge for them." -Manager to Team Member
"We're not allowed to ask them if they want their jalapeños grilled anymore, they just have to kind of know." -Team member to another team member referring to instruction given by a manager."
"I'd rather have 20 customers leave because we told them it would be a long wait than get one customer complaint." -manager to team member
"You'll be fired if you don't pay full price for your stuff, we're not allowed to give employee discounts." -Team leader to team member
Food cost, labor, employee theft, customer complaints, free food for customers, encouraging people to either work off the clock or surrender their scheduled hours? Team members working mandatory overtime because of understaffing, unable to leave without being threatened with firing due to having a drawer in their name. Situations being created where no one on the floor clocked in has a manager servsafe?
Clearly, a failure in corporate strategy has all levels of management freaking out and unable to come together on even one single policy to straighten out the way the company is working. Conditioning customers to demand free things by making fake complaints, being more worried about order times than how much money the store actually makes, giving away hundreds of dollars worth of free stuff to customers every week while straight up denying employees their employee discount.
Does anyone in this entire corporate structure have a degree in business?

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This thread is for all general discussion!
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Hi all! First off, so glad this sub reddit exists because it was a life saver when I was making decisions on my own ACLr and knowing what to expect from surgery. I'm a 2x cancer surviver, Paramedic, Rugby player, and now have been a caregiver to my partner who just celebrated 3 months from her own ACLr. I collected a bunch of advice and tips and tricks that I have used both during cancer treatment, my own experience with ACLr, and now through care taking my partner through hers. I know there have been guides before, but mine is a bit different and aimed at caregivers so I thought I'd post it here since ya'll helped me so much instead of it just circulating the rugby community every time a teammate or friend has to have ACLr or some other reconstruction. Hope it's allowed and helps!
A Cancer Patients Guide To Knee Reconstruction Recovery
A Comprehensive Guide To Surviving and Thriving In the Pre and Post-op Period Built From The Perspective of Caretaker and Patient.
Before The Date
__/__/____

Preparation

It is important to adequately prepare for surgery in the weeks and days leading up to the procedure. A significant period of immobility and reliance on support can be expected immediately post-op and will vary by procedure and personal experience. Physical modification of living space and thorough preparation allows for the immediate post-op period to be free of emergency store runs and the small inconveniences that can add up to big frustration. Not having food and drink nearby as well as other essentials may be a small deal now, but can turn into a big deal when you can no longer get those things for yourself. While physical preparation (home modifications, adaptive tools, meal prepping, etc.) are important, mental preparation is crucial to the long term success of the repair. Making small, achievable goals in the immediate post-op period and maintaining a long sighted view of recovery will make the pain and immobility that is initially experienced more bearable. Additionally, social support through a partner, family members, or friends is an essential part of recovery, as is maintaining contact with sports teams or other social groups during rehabilitation.

General PEARLs

• Pre-surgical rehab is an essential part of recovery and can improve immediate outcome so if it is a resource available to you- use it!
• Learn the basics of your procedure such as reconstruction technique, graft type, surgeons recovery timeline, where you will do your rehab, and what you should expect going into and coming out of surgery. Knowledge is power and can give a sense of control and set reasonable expectations in a situation that is otherwise out of your control.
• Seek out positive experiences and recovery stories from other people who have had your procedure and gather as much advice as possible from resources such as ACL. Know that some people will have negative experiences, everyone is an individual, and that much of your long term recovery is in your control.
• Expect and learn to advocate for yourself or the person you are taking care of. Be vocal and honest with any needs you may have and understand that issues may come up in the immediate post-operative time that you as a patient or caregiver may have to contact your surgeon to resolve. Familiarize yourself with who to call and when *before* you leave after surgery, as well as being quick to call with any questions or problems that arise. It is better to be told that what you are experiencing is normal than to sit with the anxiety of the unknown.
• Create a folder with all relevant information: Surgeons name, procedure information, follow-up appointment dates and times, phone numbers, emergency contacts, facility of choice in an emergency situation, and any other important information. Maintain this folder throughout your recovery and add paperwork as it comes.

Days Leading Up To Surgery

• Contact support people and confirm any arrangements that have been made including but not limited to: Who is taking you to/from surgery, child or pet care, transportation to first PT appointments, meals, etc.
• Recommended Items we found essential:
  • Ice Machine (Polarcube, etc) if at all possible
    • Recommend checking facebook marketplace or other second hand options, as they cost hundreds new but can be found for $40 or so used.
    • Studies have shown these do actually reduce pain and lend to earlier mobilisation and our experience has shown this to be essential not just immediately post-op but in the weeks and months afterwards so if you *can* obtain one you absolutely should.
  • Large sweatshirt and oversized shorts for surgery day, especially if you wear a bra, as putting clothes on after surgery can be a struggle and it’s easiest to just throw on a sweatshirt and shorts that fit over your post-op bandages and brace.
    • In particular, we found a blanket hoodie to be very useful both for going home and the first few days as it could stay on when moving around/when napping.
  • Neck Pillow
    • Helps with reading or other activities during long hours spent in bed or on the couch and really helped in the first two days to prevent neck strain and provide head positioning during napping.
  • Large pillows for body positioning and elevation of the leg
    • We found cheap, giant, dog beds from places like TJ Max or Marshalls to be more affordable than specialty products
    • A large, thin, dog bed (or blanket) rolled into a tube and secured with stretch bandage or tape around the surgical leg and brace helped significantly with comfort during sleep so that the leg was padded, comfortable, and the other leg didn’t get roughed up from the brace.
  • A shower chair
    • Can be found used at second hand stores like Goodwill, or cheap online
    • Easy substitute is a chair covered in a trash bag
    • Allowed showering the second day post-op which was a huge mental boost and relieved physical discomfort and achy muscles
  • Extra large leg cast cover
    • Can be found cheap online
    • Placed around outside of brace covering the entire leg initially, we then found it easier to place on the leg and place the brace outside of the cover for the remaining healing period for the incisions: We did this after the first PT appointment when it was safe to take off the brace for short periods while laying down. We acquired a second post op brace from a friend (you can find on eBay for cheap) and it was amazing to have, as we could let it dry after showering and immediately put her post op brace back on.
  • Foldable stool
    • Great for elevating the leg during transfers, while on the toilet, etc.
  • Lap Desk
    • Great for eating on the couch or in bed, but we also found it useful as a side table for holding drinks/meds/remotes/books that could be taken to whatever room they landed in at the time
    • A small table works as well, really just anything that can be used to set things on within arms reach
  • Assortment of sodas, water, seltzers, snacks, etc.
    • There is no way to know what you will want and when, but when you want it it’s nice to *have* it available
    • Appetite often decreases after surgery so make sure to have favourites on hand so that when you *are* hungry you have it immediately before your body changes its mind
  • A big bucket
    • We used a soft plastic beach type bucket from the dollar store, it was extremely useful to have to put small items in, a small towel, a spare water bottle, extra meds, baby wipes, etc.
    • Also doubled as an emergency puke bucket, as you never know when a sudden bout of nausea might hit in the first day or two after surgery
  • Extra reusable ice packs and bags of ice
    • Your home ice maker will not be able to keep up with the demands of constant icing the first week or so
    • Reusable ones are great for ‘hot spots’ and short trips where you can’t take the ice machine
  • Extra steri-strips and assortment of bandages
    • Sometimes there’s extra leakage, sometimes your steri-strips come off and you need to slap a new one on, sometimes you’re allergic to the ones they put on you at the hospital. Always consult a medical professional, but it’s handy to have these on hand just in case.
    • We also used a bulky padded bandaid to keep the brace off the healing incisions once the large post-op dressing was taken off which helped immensely.
  • Compression sleeves
    • Aside from helping with swelling these also provided a layer of protection under the post-op brace
    • We found cheap ones at Wal-Mart (copper brand) but also just bought a cheap pair of leggings a size down and cut off one of the legs to use before getting a more expensive one once swelling had fully subsided after a few weeks. Your leg will change so cheap works great at first, then you can get something a bit more substantial when you know what you’ll need long term. Now she wears high compression socks to sleep 3 months out.
  • Slide on shoes
    • Self explanatory, bending down to put on shoes becomes a chore after surgery. Avoid flip flops or other styles that can become a trip hazard.
  • Baby Wipes/Dude Wipes/etc.
    • Wiping down after you get home from surgery can help prevent that icky feeling and restore some sense of normalcy, then can be used over the next few days before you can shower more normally
  • Lotion and chapstick
    • Hospitals dry out your skin big time, and lips are often cracked post surgery from intubation/LMA placement
  • Small, easily labelled tupperware containers
    • Regular pill containers are too small to hold pain meds, OTC pain meds, anticoagulants such as aspirin, supplements, and edibles or other small things you take with your medication. We got small tupperware boxes with lids from the dollar store.
    • We found it very convenient to have six sets of meds set up and labelled with times which meant we never missed doses and could leave the next dose of meds at bedside, take them with us when going to appointments, and keep up with what had been given and when.
  • Small notebook to record med times and other important information
  • Two extra changes of clothes already setup and ready to go
  • Compression device
    • We are athletes so we already had leg compression sleeves but these days off brand versions can be bought online cheap. Studies have shown these lead to reduced pain, increased mobilisation, reduced the chance of blood clots, and there is even some evidence they help with bone healing.
    • We used it 3 days post op and beyond and her range of motion was significantly improved after the first time.
  • A yoga strap
    • Excellent for strapping to the brace and moving the surgical leg
• If possible, pick up post-op medications prior to surgery to prevent any unexpected delay in obtaining them. If this is not possible, verify that the prescription can be filled the day of the surgery by your selected pharmacy and that it has been filled prior to leaving after your surgery. Controlled substances cannot be transferred to another pharmacy without a new prescription sent directly from the provider. You do not want to be trying to get in contact with a physician in the hours after surgery, unable to manage pain, before the pharmacies close for the night.
• Do a thorough clean of your living area, it will make the time after surgery when you cannot independently do normal activities more bearable and a neat organised space is easier to function in when your body is not cooperating. Take special attention to removing tripping hazards and clearing a wide path from wherever you plan to spend your recovery and the bathroom.
• Plan to spend the first couple of days in one spot and on one floor and set up that area the day before surgery. If you have a downstairs bathroom a floor mattress or well setup couch can be your landing pad until you are more mobile and is the easiest during the immediate post-op period. That being said, if you don’t, it’s easier to get upstairs by sliding up on your bum immediately post-op when your pain is still well controlled than realise that you have no bathroom downstairs a few hours later when the pain has started to set in. Wherever you intend to land, plan on staying there at least a couple of days and bring all your supplies to that area. Plan to lay with your surgical leg on the outside of what you are laying on, this makes transferring easier.
• Have your recovery bed setup the day before surgery and prepared for when you return before you leave the day of, including blankets and your supply table setup.
• Meal prep, whether that means cooking or getting easy to make microwave meals is up to you. You won’t feel like cooking and neither will your caretaker the first few days. High protein, easy to eat meals are key! We had chicken and broccoli casserole, egg and sausage frittata, and lots of applesauce the first few days and it was a lifesaver not to have to think about meals.
• Spend some time mentally preparing for the long haul of recovery and make long term plans that fit within your timeline. For example, we planned to attend a rugby game five days after surgery *but* planned nothing else for that day and the next day. We also planned hiking trips the next fall, and other events appropriate for her timeline along the way that could be looked forward to and keep up morale. Remember that this is temporary and that it is okay to be recovering and resting, expect hard moments and days but keep things planned so you don’t get stuck in those down places.
• Eat your favourite meal and eat well the day before surgery. Your body needs fuel to recover and fasting the day of surgery sucks. As weird as it sounds, after multiple surgeries, the pre-surgery night meal of whatever I want is one shiny thing in a crappy situation to hold on to.
• Plan for what you want your first meal to be and consider making a playlist for the ride to and from surgery. Small things, again, help maintain a sense of control and comfort in a situation where you are largely out of control and these things can be done with friends or support people in the days leading up to reduce anxiety and pass time.
• Hit the gym, take a walk, do a hike, visit places or do things you enjoy but won’t be able to do in immediate recovery! We took my partners knee to one last tournament before her surgery, it helped pass time and kept spirits high.

Day Of And Immediate Post-Surgery Phase

• Maintain fasting starting at whatever hour you are told. Some people can drink clear liquids up to a certain point, others are completely nothing by mouth. Your instructions will guide you on this.
• Before leaving home double check that everything is set up how you need it and place a blanket, pillow, drink, and snack of choice in the car. You may or may not need it but if you do it is important to have. Make sure your ice packs are in the freezer ready to go!
• Bring your own post-op snack if you are picky or have food allergies, otherwise you’re stuck with whatever graham cracker and applesauce combo the facility gives you.
• Go with the flow, or as I always say “surrender”. Feel what you feel, have a cry in the car before you go in, listen to your playlist, bring your blanket or other comfort items into pre-op, tell your support person what’s going through your mind, tell your pre-op staff how you’re doing, ask all the questions, and most importantly just do what you have to do. For some people surgery can be overwhelming and the loss of control frightening, but fighting only makes it worse, so whatever you are just be it. I’m pre-op pacer myself, but some people just snuggle up under some warm blankets and wait. Either way, just let the waves take you where they go and know you’re along for the ride. Remember that future you with a healthy joint thanks you for what you’re doing today.
• Speak frankly with your anesthesiologist and utilise any pain control or anxiety control options given to you. There is no award for least meds taken or toughest patient of the day. If a nerve block is available, know that you can request sedation for its placement, and utilise that option if at all possible.
• Caregivers should bring something to keep them entertained and be prepared for a long period without update once surgery has started. Honour your feelings as well, it can be tough to watch someone you care about go through this! Consider having someone to act as a support person for you as well through text or phone, that way you can divert your own worries or struggles to them and away from the person having surgery while still making sure you are also taken care of.
• Make sure that pain is well controlled before leaving after surgery. You have more options there than you will at home and getting things under control once pain has become unbearable can be very difficult.
• Make sure you note when the next dose of medication is due, what medication they should be taking, and write it down.
• Double check contacts from your surgeons office and add any post op paperwork to your folder in case you need the information later.
• If your post-op meal requires picking up, or your prescription, try and do that immediately after leaving surgery even if you are not hungry yet. This is the most comfortable you will be for a while and your support person will be unable to leave for at least that day and night. I have been known to peruse the big gas station after surgery in search of snacks, my partner however simply waved to the nice people at the drive through and napped the rest of the way home before eating some hours later.
• Once you get home crash wherever you plan on spending the rest of the time. Don’t have friends or family over that first day. Just go ahead and sleep through the rest of the anaesthesia and get comfortable.
• Try and keep your home cool, and consider keeping the room dim for the first few hours if not days. Sleep is precious and pain meds can make you hot, and getting hot can lead to nausea. It is better to have the home cool and the person snuggled under blankets and comfortable than be trying to cool someone down who just had surgery and got too hot and is now dizzy, nauseous, and miserable. The least stimulation for the first little while the better, and naps will happen throughout the rest of the day and over the next few days. A cool, dim place lets this happen much easier than a bright, warm place where they might be overstimulated or awakened by noise or activity.
• If allowed, try and activate the quad muscle immediately after returning home and once every few hours by having them squeeze it and feeling for contraction while in the brace. Some people will be able to begin range of motion exercises immediately and if so, make sure to do them as soon as allowed even if that means just helping them by doing gentle manual range of motion movements in the brace.
• If it’s not already on, begin continuous icing as soon as you come out of surgery either by meticulously timing the replacement of ice packs or with the ice machine. Make sure to check the ice machine, replace ice as often as needed, and keep it on *continuously* for the next few days. For us this meant I checked it at every medication dose throughout the night and added ice during that time as well. We went through frozen mini water bottles and bags of ice like crazy the first week.
• Elevate the surgical leg as high as possible, placing support under the heel and calf but not directly under the knee to promote extension and prevent more headaches with gaining range of motion later on.
  • We found that icepacks directly under the knee helped tremendously with the discomfort associated with this.
• Anticipate that bathroom trips will not be fun or easy and take them extremely slow. As a caregiver allow the person to guide you on what they need and don’t need your help with and avoid grabbing or moving someone unexpectedly. Standing, acclimating to being upright, and then proceeding to the bathroom is the best way to do things and rushing will only result in frustration for both of you. A rolling chair or wheelchair can be helpful, but for some people standing up and sitting down is harder than just moving on to the bathroom. Pay attention as a caregiver and know that it is possible they may need your help getting off the toilet or back from the bathroom so be close by and available should that happen. For the first few days do not lock the bathroom door in case of an emergency.
• Place chairs or things to sit on around your path to the bathroom, kitchen, etc. And consider a small backpack or using a rolling chair to carry items around the house.
• Once you know when your next dose is, set alarms for each time your doses are due. If using the med boxes this makes doing meds and keeping track very easy, as they are each labelled with a time and all we had to do was open the box and take the meds instead of finding each bottle and dosing each med individually each time. As the days went on we were able to re-label and time the boxes as needed and remove meds as needed or adapt to what was needed when sleeping or up during the day.
  • For example day 1 would look like:
    • First post-op doses at 4pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 8pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, 10mg edible, 12.5mg diphenhydramine (itching and sleep), stool softener, and regular night time meds.
    • Midnight box: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 4AM: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, edible (if nauseas or restless).
    • 8AM box (preparing to get up): 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, aspirin, stool softener, normal morning meds.
    • 12pm: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, 800mg ibuprofen.
    • Repeated on time, reducing pain med dose as tolerable, and refilling boxes 1x a day.
• If possible do scheduled tylenol (paracetamol) and ibuprofen (or another NSAID), alternating them on the dosing schedule, and take them religiously even through the night. This also goes for additional pain medications, which you will also need to wake to take through the night if you are prescribed for at least the first night.
• Staying on schedule might mean waking up in the night, but it’s better to be awoken to take meds than to wake up in pain and spend several hours trying to get it under control. You may find you seldom need them if your nerve block is in place, or you may just not need very much at all during your recovery. It is easier to trial run this after the first day by stretching out the time between doses from 4 to 6 to 8 and then potentially off entirely, but everyone will have their preferences.
• Eat a small snack with every med dose and keep emergency meds (extra pain med doses, nausea meds, etc.) at bedside as well as the next set of meds due so they can be taken when it is time.
• We found that edibles were a great addition to pain and nausea control after surgery. There are medication options available and having at least one option for nausea is advisable for the first few days after surgery when anaesthesia and medication can really make you want to puke.
• Expect absolutely nothing in the first few days post-op. Some people will feel well enough to move around, others will not be able to do anything but get up to use the bathroom. Expecting nothing is better than expecting more and being disappointed or frustrated. I would highly suggest not making plans until your first follow up 7 or so days after surgery.
• Be obsessive about icing, meds, any PT you have been given, and keeping track of appointments. Give yourself the best start to your recovery that you can and you will thank yourself later!

1) The contract situation: If we get Saros we're most likely signing him to an extension. I can't see the Leafs trading him at the deadline nor can I see them just letting him walk at the end of the year for nothing. This likely means we're looking at a contract between 6-8 years north of 8 million. This is problematic for a number of reasons:
a) Goalies tend not to age very well. Even generational/hall of fame goalies such as Brodeur, Price and Lundqvist to name a few have trouble playing past 35 whilst being elite and living up to their contract. Signing Saros to a long term contract would mean we're primarily paying him when he's past his prime. This is a big concern.
b) We've been developing Woll for 8 years, and signing Saros to a fat extension pretty much means we've relegated Woll as a secondary option or a trade piece. For someone whose shown so much potential and come up big in key moments, this just doesn't make a lot of sense. Granted, Wolls injury concerns are totally valid but it still doesn't mean we have to give up on him as a Starter entirely.
2) Saros' track record: There's no denying that Saros is a high end goalie, but I think he's being slightly overrated. He's started more than 40 games 3 times in his career, 2 of which were very respectable (but not other worldly) and this past season which was below average. This is in conjunction with a playoff record where he's been below average: -1.2 GSAA and of his 16 playoff starts only half of them have been qualified as a quality start. Playing Goalie in Toronto is extremely challenging and so far in his career Saros just hasn't shown he can carry a team in the playoffs.
3) The benefits of getting Askarov: I've seen people say Nashville would never trade Askarov but they were shopping him last year, and they're looking for a high end forward, so I think it's very realistic they trade him. There would be a lot of benefits if we traded for him instead of Saros:
a) He's on an entry level contract for the next few years which means we'll have 30M this offseason to reshape the team. That would allow us to sign 2 top 4 RD and a 2C like Lindholm and still have 10M to play with to fill out the rest of the team.
b) You can let him and Woll share the net and see who emerges as the true starter. Woll has shown he can make huge saves and play in big moments so having him go 50/50 with Askarov in the regular season and then take the net in the playoffs would be a great short term plan while Askarov gets more experience.
c) If Askarov flourishes and wants a bigger role we own his RFA rights so there's a lot more flexibility in terms of what we can do with him. With Saros, we'd be signing him long term, relegating Woll to a backup and hoping Saros works out. With Askarov, if he outgrows his role we have a good problem with two capable goalies and can flip one for other assets. The flexibility here can't be understated.
4) You dont need a bonafide top 5 goalie to win the cup: This isn't to say having one is bad, just that it's not necessary. With Goaltending, its about getting hot at the right time. Vegas won the cup recently with what was originally a 3rd stringer. Binnington came out of nowhere and carried the Blues in '19, likewise with Matt Murray in 16/17 for the Pens. In his short time here Woll has shown a tendency to just come up huge and make big saves. I remember there was a point this year where he'd stopped like 18-20 shots in a row in 3v3 over multiple games which is impressive when you consider those are all essentially high danger chances. Take that in conjunction with how he played in the playoffs and you can see my point about how you just need someone to make big saves and get hot at the right time, Woll can do that.
Having Askarov and Woll as a tandem would allow for a cheap, flexible option in goal that allows us to spend on other parts of our roster. We don't need either of them to be Vezina winners to have success, just to make key saves and not let a shitty soft goal in. The amount of cap room we would have by taking on Askarov and dumping Marner would allow us to fill every hole we've been talking about for years. We would also likely get other pieces back with Askarov which would help us out even more. If you get a player like Luke Evangelista you've suddenly replaced 45 of Marner's 95 points for 800k.
From Nashville's perspective, they're trying to win a cup and given they can add one of the best RW in the league without moving any contracts out, or removing a player from their roster that finished with nearly 100 points is exactly the kind of trade they'd make. They've wanted a high end forward for years and now they can finally get one, and they'd be trading from a position of strength to make it happen.
For Marner, he can go to one of the most beloved markets for players, get paid as much as he wants, have a low profile and still be on a competitive team.

Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
That will be a long and chaotic post, I'll try to organise it somehow but it's all complex.
My partner (39M) and I (female, turning 30 this Friday) have been together for 2.5 year and always been good communicators, but in the last few months things have been getting haywire and completely out of control, and I just don't know what to do anymore.
We both come from a cPTSD background (sexual and physical abuse, being raised by narcissistic mothers, homelessness), mine is sadly worse due to extra abuse suffered from partners and some workplaces, also doing some occasional sex work for food when homeless. Basically, thanks to capitalism (yay), I have never felt safe in my life, even after moving 3000km away from my abusive family - basically every morning I wake up wondering if I still have a job and whether I won't get evicted.
I went through some cPTSD therapy (EMDR as well) before meeting him and I thought I fixed myself, but the relationship unleashed new hell on me. I fully acknowledge I started the problems, as I've severely violated his boundaries several times and didn't see the pattern until we've had several horrendous arguments. Part of this was because my partner has been raised to always bottle things up and people please, so I never really know if he means something is not a problem or he just doesn't want to say it and it will blow out weeks or months later.
Anyway, we worked through the worst problems, when he got more knowledge about the extent of my trauma and some very toxic things I was made to believe where normal, he acknowledges that I don't perpetuate some patterns consciously. I signed up to therapy (despite it being a huge financial burden), I do all I can to control myself, be very nice to him, spend quality time together etc.
HOWEVER. I work in an extremely toxic environment where the goalposts are moving every single day, there's a fuckton of manipulation, what boss says is not what he means, workers are pitted against each other etc. The workplace is actively re-traumatising me daily, but I need to keep this job for several reasons. My partner knows it. And yet, he blames me for having meltdowns, and it always follows the same pattern. Just to give you an example, from today:

• I've been verbally abused for 6h straight by 15 people at work, so when my partner told me in a rather disappointed tone "Well, you HAVE TO keep on attending therapy", I felt like he's attacking me for not doing enough.
• I got triggered but recognised I'm spiralling out into a full-blown panic attack, so I went downstairs and told him "Look, I know you wanted to encourage me that therapy is the right thing, but the way you worded it triggered me, because it felt like (description here of how my mother would use semantics to trick me into fake feeling of safety and then abuse me". I've been getting extremely triggered (and still having another few hours of getting berated at work) so I started actually screaming my explanation at him without realising it, BUT without any blaming, names etc.
• He got all triggered and said I berate him and accuse him of being like my narcissistic mother, that all is always his fault etc. and then went into his trauma response. His trauma response is completely shutting down and getting mad, and any attempts of explaining the situation are "excuses, lies, attacks" etc.
• Seeing where it's going and not wanting another week-long argument right before a lovely b-day weekend we had planned, I tried to get through to him, reassure him that nobody is blaming him, that I specifically said I'm triggered to let him know I have a trauma reaction, that I try to provide data so that he understands why I got so triggered by a sentence he meant as reassurance. I apologised for screaming, explained I didn't realise I was yelling, tried to get through to him. But he just started bringing back up all the problems we've already worked through, said I always CHOOSE to abuse him, that I always punish him for being too good to me, that clearly the therapy is not working because I can't control myself (I've just started, after 30 years of difficult life with no help!), that nothing ever is my fault, that trauma is not an excuse. I tried to point out to him that he's having a trauma response as well and that why I always try to use safe words, non-accusation wording, provide him with more data etc. I pointed out to him that I like to know about his triggers to avoid setting them off, and that's why I try to explain my triggers to him too, even though the yelling was clearly wrong. And he just took it as more personal attack and started yelling how I choose to attack him whenever things go right, how I'm a liar, manipulator, abuser, I chose to have a meltdown, he doesn't need therapy because it's just me ruining everything etc. and stormed out, swearing, saying how I'm ruining his life. He also got mad at my therapist because they "provide me with more excuses" because they said I'm in fact being so re-traumatised at work I have stress levels as if I was at war.

I don't know how to get to him. I try my very best to address 30 years of severe abuse, but right now the dynamic is shifting towards "Every single thing in our relationship is your fault, I don't have any trauma responses" and I really don't like that dynamic. But when I try to bring that up, he gets even madder. He also doesn't cool down when left alone, just spirals out more and more.
He's ADHD (diagnosed), I'm autistic + cPTSD + chronic pain (also diagnosed).
Again, apologies for this massive rant, I just feel so confused and alone. It's like he's becoming a completely different person than the one I've loved, and I feel like I'm no longer allowed to have any negative emotions / reactions because suddenly it's all "abuse".

Selective Androgen Receptor Modulators (SARMS) have garnered attention in the fitness world for their potential to enhance muscle growth and athletic performance with fewer side effects compared to traditional steroids. However, amidst the buzz surrounding SARMS, questions inevitably arise about their safety profile. Are SARMS truly as safe as they're claimed to be, or do they pose significant risks to users? In this article, we'll explore the safety considerations surrounding SARMS to provide a balanced perspective on their potential dangers.
Understanding SARMS:
SARMS, as the name suggests, selectively target androgen receptors in muscle and bone tissue, leading to anabolic effects similar to those of traditional steroids but with purportedly fewer androgenic side effects. This selectivity is what sets SARMS apart and contributes to their appeal among fitness enthusiasts and athletes.
The Safety Debate:
While SARMS offer promising benefits, concerns about their safety persist, primarily due to their potential to suppress natural testosterone production, alter lipid profiles, and affect liver health. Additionally, the long-term effects of SARMS usage remain largely unknown, raising questions about their potential for causing harm over extended periods.
For more>> Are sarms dangerous?
Suppression of Testosterone:
One of the primary concerns with SARMS is their potential to suppress endogenous testosterone production. SARMS, particularly those with stronger anabolic properties, can interfere with the body's natural hormone balance, leading to decreased testosterone levels. This suppression can result in a range of symptoms, including decreased libido, mood changes, and fatigue.
Impact on Lipid Profiles:
Another area of concern is the impact of SARMS on lipid metabolism. Some studies suggest that SARMS can alter lipid profiles, potentially leading to unfavorable changes in cholesterol levels. Elevated levels of LDL cholesterol ("bad" cholesterol) and decreased levels of HDL cholesterol ("good" cholesterol) have been reported in some individuals using SARMS, which could increase the risk of cardiovascular disease over time.
Liver Toxicity:
While SARMS are generally considered to have a lower risk of liver toxicity compared to traditional oral steroids, some evidence suggests that certain SARMS may still exert hepatotoxic effects, particularly at higher doses or with prolonged use. Liver enzyme abnormalities and liver damage have been reported in some users, highlighting the importance of monitoring liver health when using SARMS.
Conclusion:
In conclusion, while SARMS offer potential benefits for muscle growth and athletic performance, they are not without risks. Concerns about testosterone suppression, lipid alterations, and liver toxicity underscore the importance of approaching SARMS use with caution and diligence. It's crucial to consult with a healthcare professional before embarking on a SARMS regimen, especially if you have pre-existing health conditions or concerns.
Ultimately, the decision to use SARMS should be informed by a thorough understanding of their potential risks and benefits, as well as careful consideration of individual circumstances and goals. By prioritizing safety and responsible use, individuals can minimize the potential dangers associated with SARMS and maximize their potential benefits in pursuit of their fitness objectives.

Shinkalion: Change the World, episode 7
Alternative names: Shinkalion, Shinkalion Change the World
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hello good day i need some names of heroes who can 1v9 (carry the entire game even if team quit/grief) I'm basically 2k mmr Pos 1 but can play and understand all role. I just don't want the idea of depending on my low emotional iq teammates in my bracket especially at my server which is SEA. My main heroes are PA, AM, LUNA, SF, DROW, LS, etc. and when my queues are gone: NP, CM, VS, OGRE pls help i want to get out of this bracket