Love my nephew quotes

I’ve been lurking here for a few years, trying to find ways to deal with my partners extreme mood swings and anger. This is my first post, so if that’s inappropriate, I’m sorry. I'm also sorry if the tone of this post is inappropriate, I just need to get it off my chest with people who may have experienced similar things. I want to also clarify that I know Bpd doesn’t MAKE you an ass, my ex just loved to use his diagnosis as a reason to abuse me and not take accountability for it.
He has a 9/9 presentation and it was constantly taken out on me. For 10 years. I feel like a few months ago I finally got the ick for how he was treating me and then eventually reached my boiling point and we had a blow-out fight a few days ago where I finally screamed and yelled at him. I really got in his face and didn’t let him not respond and just kept yelling. Then when he acted upset and hurt and “scared” by it I quoted him directly and went ”Oh, so I’m just NEVER allowed to be ANGRY?? Can’t ever have a negative emotion?” and he seemed to really not understand that that’s what he says about twice a week while he slams shit around the house and terrifies our pets and me. I can’t tell you how nice it was to let it all out. I don’t even care that I have to pack up 26 years of shit in 30 days because I just feel so awesome about not getting treated like that every day and waking up at 7am to him already being a whiny baby about nothing.
I feel so free. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt this relaxed and content in my life. I feel like I was developing more bpd symptoms the longer I endured his treatment and it already feels like it's melting away because I'm just out. I’m not paranoid anymore (cheated on me constantly - my friends literally think his secret gf is pregnant and that’s why he was fucking with me so bad the last few weeks 😂 to get me out of the house and move her in) I feel good about my body, I’m sleeping better than I have in years, and not to be nsfw, but without someone pawing at me 24 hours a day and constantly being vulgar towards me I FINALLY feel like my sex drive is coming back. I’ve literally only been out of his house for like 3 days and I already feel like that was months ago. I’m hanging out with new friends and enjoying going on nature walks and exercising without someone leering at me and trying to touch me. I’m excited to see what life is like away from the abuse he put me through constantly. I’m excited to just not be treated like shit and then get blamed for it cause he “can’t help it with his Bpd!” But then also won’t to therapy regularly, won’t take meds, won’t even do a goddamn work book on his own cause it’s “too hard” - as if being around someone who regularly acted like he couldn’t stand me was easy. Literally the only part about this I’m currently feeling negative about is the 3 pets who are used to me being home almost all the time and him working 12 hour shifts + sleep gives him maybe a few hours to care for them properly daily. They will suffer and be lonely and he will probably keep staying out til 2am anyways to get plastered with his divorced alcoholic “friend”that he claims to hate and cut off but always crawls back to, probably because he’s so similar to my exs own mother.
Everything just feels so exciting. I get to find a new place to live and decorate and unpack and organize only how I want to - nothing has to go on top shelves where I can’t reach. I can read without someone saying I’m “intentionally trying to seem busy so we can’t talk” I can watch tv shows and movies without someone walking in and getting butthurt cause they wanna watch it, too, now that I’m 4 seasons in or whatever. I can wear whatever I feel like and no one’s going to be gross about it in my own home. I don’t have to worry when he’s out with friends that they’re talking shit about me and instigating a fight without me even knowing - this spineless and easily swayed, angry man is gone from my life and I am FREE

TLDR: My "mother" is a vile evil woman who has stolen from my grandma and nephew, committed crimes and exploited people, had me working at 15 to support the family while she did nothing, and lied to me so I wouldn't see my grandma on Mother's Day. I have a long post on my full story on another subreddit on my profile if you want more context.
My "mother" is a vile, awful person who has committed heinous and despicable acts. To make an extremely long story short, I grew up in an unstable household. My dad wasn't around and my mom was unwilling to work to support us. I was pawned off to my grandparents who lived with us, and they were more parents to me than my actual parents were. Everything my mom has done has been to fuel her ego, and as with many narcissists, to seek validation to reinforce her nonexistent identity outside external validation. She needs validation constantly on how young and beautiful she looks, how rich and great she is, and how she is an excellent and caring mom. Yet a good mother wouldn't have had me and my siblings and grandparents living in a former drug house infested with millions of roaches, rats, black mold, and on again off again running water and electricity. A good mom also wouldn't have sat around having parties and drinking while I, at 15 years of age and two senior citizens, broke our backs trying to sell and rent party supplies and carrying an 800 lb bounce house to customers that wanted to rent them. I worked at 15 like a Victorian boy instead of going to school trying to make ends meet because my parents wouldn't. My "mother" has done everything evil you can think of, from scamming and stealing from innocent people, catfishing other men (while with my stepdad), pretending to be my sister online for validation and money, forcing my sister to be a model and hook up with much older men for the promise of advancement (she was 17 and these men where in there 30s or older), spies on my widowed sister-in-law, had me living in deplorable conditions and having me eat old food infested with roaches and rat droppings, conducting illegal gambling business and money laundering, kept the fact that (some of) my siblings are adopted from them, baby trapped my stepdad, had little to no concern for my mental health and did not help or try to accommodate my sensory issues (I suspect I may have level 1 autism, mostly with sensory issues) and much, much, much more. I have been going to therapy and am currently doing emdr to undo the damage that my evil "mother" has done. She is a master of manipulation, love bombing, and buying people's love, loyalty, and affection. I, for the second time, have gone no contact with her.
Now that there's some context, my grandmother means everything to me. She lives in a convalescent home and my mom has control over her. I wanted to see her on Mother's Day. My mom asked if I was going to come to lunch. I said we were visiting my wife's mom, then coming to the house later at 5. She said that was not going to work because they were going to eat at 1. I said, OK well, if we can't do the restaurant, then take her to the house, so we can all visit her at 5. She said she couldn't do that, and why couldn't we just go to eat with them and then, IF there's time, we could go to my mother-in-law's house for a little bit. I said no, everything has been arranged already, and as usual you don't inform anyone of plans and expect everyone last second to cancel theirs and do yours. We were going to make my mother-in-law a priority, however, there was time for both. She got mad and said she would not be bringing my grandma to the house and I guess that was it. I said, well, I guess it is. On Mother's Day, I called my grandma, and she was upset and crying, asking why I hadn't seen her, and that she had come to visit the house. My mom took her to the house after lunch and didn't tell me. Neither did any of my other family. She said that she wanted to come back home and didn't want to live at the facility. She is fairly healthy and in reality, doesn't need to be at the facility. After talking to her, I confronted my mom and said that I explicitly told you that I wanted to see Grandma, and you said you were NOT bringing her to the house. You did bring her to the house and intentionally did not tell me. Because I did not bow down and follow your commands like everyone else, you deliberately orchestrated this, so I would not see her in an act of revenge to spite me. There was no reason you couldn't have called or texted and told me you were bringing her, especially after I told you I wanted to see her, even if it was at the last minute. It was an intentional act. She just said you are always talking shit about me. I told her it's not talking shit if it's true. She then hung up. This is what she does. If you don't follow the Führers command, bow at her feet, and tell her how wonderful and gracious she is, she will seek vengeance and do things to spite you, to bring glory for herself.
My grandma told me that my "mom" mistreats her, and is collecting pay from the government pretending to be her caretaker (when in reality my mom does absolutely nothing and has no job whatsoever. She dedicates her life to crime, fraud, and scams. She ran an underground casino with my stepdad and when they got busted my stepdad took the fall) but instead dumped her in a conversant home and does not care for her at all. Besides all that, my grandma also stated that she takes all of her social security money and keeps it. This is not surprising because my nephew, who is technically an orphan, having lost both parents recently, is under the custody of my horrible "mother" and he had some kind of inheritance left for him. When my "mother" discovered this, she swept in and wiped it clean. Her greed is deplorable. Wherever there is money, the Sheriff of Nottingham will do anything to get every last coin wherever she can get it. She even charges people $5 to use the washing machine. The most important thing to my "mother" is herself and her endless black hole of needing to be validated and praised, along with the endless black hole of greed. It is her entire identity. I am so enraged, and I can not let these things happen. When will my "mother" face consequences for her actions? She cannot continue to commit evil acts and not only get away with them but also prosper because of it. One of the worst parts, however, is that everyone, even if they have their problems with her, always goes along with what the dear leader says and continues to enable her by telling her she's a good mom and that they appreciate her. She needs to face consequences for her actions, but I don't know what to do. She can't continue to harm people and get away with it. I need help.

TLDR: My "mother" is a vile evil woman who has stolen from my grandma and nephew, committed crimes and exploited people, had me working at 15 to support the family while she did nothing, and lied to me so I wouldn't see my grandma on Mother's Day. I have a long post on my full story on another subreddit on my profile if you want more context.
My "mother" is a vile, awful person who has committed heinous and despicable acts. To make an extremely long story short, I grew up in an unstable household. My dad wasn't around and my mom was unwilling to work to support us. I was pawned off to my grandparents who lived with us, and they were more parents to me than my actual parents were. Everything my mom has done has been to fuel her ego, and as with many narcissists, to seek validation to reinforce her nonexistent identity outside external validation. She needs validation constantly on how young and beautiful she looks, how rich and great she is, and how she is an excellent and caring mom. Yet a good mother wouldn't have had me and my siblings and grandparents living in a former drug house infested with millions of roaches, rats, black mold, and on again off again running water and electricity. A good mom also wouldn't have sat around having parties and drinking while I, at 15 years of age and two senior citizens, broke our backs trying to sell and rent party supplies and carrying an 800 lb bounce house to customers that wanted to rent them. I worked at 15 like a Victorian boy instead of going to school trying to make ends meet because my parents wouldn't. My "mother" has done everything evil you can think of, from scamming and stealing from innocent people, catfishing other men (while with my stepdad), pretending to be my sister online for validation and money, forcing my sister to be a model and hook up with much older men for the promise of advancement (she was 17 and these men where in there 30s or older), spies on my widowed sister-in-law, had me living in deplorable conditions and having me eat old food infested with roaches and rat droppings, conducting illegal gambling business and money laundering, kept the fact that (some of) my siblings are adopted from them, baby trapped my stepdad, had little to no concern for my mental health and did not help or try to accommodate my sensory issues (I suspect I may have level 1 autism, mostly with sensory issues) and much, much, much more. I have been going to therapy and am currently doing emdr to undo the damage that my evil "mother" has done. She is a master of manipulation, love bombing, and buying people's love, loyalty, and affection. I, for the second time, have gone no contact with her.
Now that there's some context, my grandmother means everything to me. She lives in a convalescent home and my mom has control over her. I wanted to see her on Mother's Day. My mom asked if I was going to come to lunch. I said we were visiting my wife's mom, then coming to the house later at 5. She said that was not going to work because they were going to eat at 1. I said, OK well, if we can't do the restaurant, then take her to the house, so we can all visit her at 5. She said she couldn't do that, and why couldn't we just go to eat with them and then, IF there's time, we could go to my mother-in-law's house for a little bit. I said no, everything has been arranged already, and as usual you don't inform anyone of plans and expect everyone last second to cancel theirs and do yours. We were going to make my mother-in-law a priority, however, there was time for both. She got mad and said she would not be bringing my grandma to the house and I guess that was it. I said, well, I guess it is. On Mother's Day, I called my grandma, and she was upset and crying, asking why I hadn't seen her, and that she had come to visit the house. My mom took her to the house after lunch and didn't tell me. Neither did any of my other family. She said that she wanted to come back home and didn't want to live at the facility. She is fairly healthy and in reality, doesn't need to be at the facility. After talking to her, I confronted my mom and said that I explicitly told you that I wanted to see Grandma, and you said you were NOT bringing her to the house. You did bring her to the house and intentionally did not tell me. Because I did not bow down and follow your commands like everyone else, you deliberately orchestrated this, so I would not see her in an act of revenge to spite me. There was no reason you couldn't have called or texted and told me you were bringing her, especially after I told you I wanted to see her, even if it was at the last minute. It was an intentional act. She just said you are always talking shit about me. I told her it's not talking shit if it's true. She then hung up. This is what she does. If you don't follow the Führers command, bow at her feet, and tell her how wonderful and gracious she is, she will seek vengeance and do things to spite you, to bring glory for herself.
My grandma told me that my "mom" mistreats her, and is collecting pay from the government pretending to be her caretaker (when in reality my mom does absolutely nothing and has no job whatsoever. She dedicates her life to crime, fraud, and scams. She ran an underground casino with my stepdad and when they got busted my stepdad took the fall) but instead dumped her in a conversant home and does not care for her at all. Besides all that, my grandma also stated that she takes all of her social security money and keeps it. This is not surprising because my nephew, who is technically an orphan, having lost both parents recently, is under the custody of my horrible "mother" and he had some kind of inheritance left for him. When my "mother" discovered this, she swept in and wiped it clean. Her greed is deplorable. Wherever there is money, the Sheriff of Nottingham will do anything to get every last coin wherever she can get it. She even charges people $5 to use the washing machine. The most important thing to my "mother" is herself and her endless black hole of needing to be validated and praised, along with the endless black hole of greed. It is her entire identity. I am so enraged, and I can not let these things happen. When will my "mother" face consequences for her actions? She cannot continue to commit evil acts and not only get away with them but also prosper because of it. One of the worst parts, however, is that everyone, even if they have their problems with her, always goes along with what the dear leader says and continues to enable her by telling her she's a good mom and that they appreciate her. She needs to face consequences for her actions, but I don't know what to do. She can't continue to harm people and get away with it. I need help.

Tarot Reader since 2017 who has fully mastered in depth readings to bring true insight to the energies and circumstances you are dealing with, with the use of Oracle and Astrology as well. Shaneka's Services And Contact Linktree
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We can’t use Wren because it’s my nephew’s name but we really love it. Right now, we don’t know if we’re having a boy or a girl so any name is fine. My kids right now are called Lilah and Flynn.

If you’re hearing this, then it means you’re all wearing pink & I’m not here anymore, please don’t cry 😢 it’s Okies ! In life we always have choices, this was mine!
No one commits suicide because they want to die." "Then why do they do it?" "Because they want to stop the pain.
There are so many things I will never have, I’ll never have someone to love me unconditionally, i will never have someone to wipe away my tears, hold my hand and weather every single storm, I’ll never be a mum, I’ll never grow old I will always be 35 & frozen in time! It takes so much more courage to continue to live than it does to decide to end your life, anyone that knows me, knows that I’m like the lion from the wizard of Oz, I’ve always been a bit of a coward, but The bravest thing I ever did was freezing myself in time before cryogenics was ever a thing!! my favourite Sylvia Plath quote is “The thought that I might kill myself formed in my mind coolly as a tree or a flower”
once the seed were planted the thought started to occupy my mind more and more until my mind was a greenhouse filled with the most beautiful stargazer & tiger Lillie’s at their roots was my demise!
Robert Harris once said, “suicide leaves everyone feeling guilty”, please don’t feel guilty this was completely my choice, nothing you could say or do would have stopped me, you all know how stubborn I am! I always believed in soulmates, the minute I lost mine, I knew that I would never find someone to love me like that again! I didn’t want to continue to go through life sad and resentful! I hate cats so it’s not like I could be a crazy cat lady, although I’m an amazing crazy person! Don’t be sad or angry at me for leaving, for there will always be a part of me with you in your heart, every time you see a butterfly I want you to smile fondly and think about how I’m finally free! Butterflies are sent from heaven to let us know that our loved ones are always thinking about us & believe me no matter where I am, I’ll always be thinking of all of you….Always!
Xxxxx

I have traveled a bit lately and have gotten behind on my thank you post, my deepest apologies, I know how it feels to send something out and not know if it ever got to its destination!
I deeply love this sub and am still amazed at how talented, kind and awesome you all are.
u/_pickupthepieces thanks for the Owl card and exchanging happy mail with me. Yes this week we have had plenty of sunshine!! Although temps are still yo-yoing.
u/amyt13 thank you so much for the Madeira postcard. Sounds like you had an amazing time there. I took my family there for New Year's Eve one year. I book a excursion on a boat with drinks and snacks, I few minutes before midnight they sail out in to the harbor. The fireworks display was truly AMAZING, they were going off in sync 360 degrees all around the boat.
u/articfox_12 thank you for the handmade postcard. Very clever idea to laminate and send. We did and will have a wonderful vacation. I like to travel about every month from March to Nov...
u/babyraspberry x 2 thank you for the Spring mail postcard and all the spring themed ephemera, good for you for taking Mable out for so many walks. I bet she loves it. Thank you too for the Munro's Books postcard, I love the Carl Sagan book quote. I really want to visit Vancouver Island, I hear their gardens are stunning!
u/cake-at-midnight thank you for the thank you postcard, I am glad you liked the birthday card I made for you :) I love my Cricut, I don't use it nearly as much as I should. You can create some amazing things with it!
u/cassius1213 thank you very much for the Awesome Eclipse postmarked postcard. Love that they actually created a specific postmark for the total eclipse.
u/DanerysWon lol love the ballerina hippo postcard, thanks so much, sounds like you had an amazing time at Disney. What a fun place to honeymoon too!
u/DaniGeek what a beautiful hummingbird card you found for me on your treasure hunt! And so fitting as I just saw my first hummingbird yesterday, finally!! Thanks for your book recommendations, it just so happens that I have not read Life of Pi but I just got tickets to see the theater production! I am trying to decide if I should read the book or watch the movie before I see the play. Thoughts? Redwall is a series I read with my son years ago. and the Dresden files is something my son also recently suggested.
u/doughe29 thank you for the Holland MI tulip card. I went to the tulip festival a few years back, very lovely. Yes, Cincy Zoo has a wonderful display of tulips, do come one year. It also has a great Holiday light display in Nov/Dec that is worth seeing.
u/duygusu thank you for the sparkly Awesome thank you card. I am glad you liked the card I sent, wishing you a quick settling in process. Thanks too for the pretty pansy sticker.
u/ez330 thank you for the Ohio Eclipse postcard. Did you not get to see it? We drove up to Dayton to the Air Museum and the clouds parted at just the right time for us to enjoy the majority of the eclipse. Love all the cool space themed stamps you used.
u/Ginger_ninjah thank you for the sunflower mini card and all the fun stickers. Sounds like you have been busy, still loving your Ninja food processor? LOL still shredding cheese?
u/HexagonalRainbow x 2 Thank you for the Legoland postcard. I could see how it would be really easy to spend way more money than intended at the Brick Factory. And a outlet store too - yikes! How many things have you built with what you bought though? I bet a ton of cool things. Secondly, thanks for the Mount Fuji postcard, very pretty! How did you qualification go for work?
u/keqani thanks for the Krieg postcard, love all the cute stickers you adorned the postcard with!
u/libertyprogrammer x 3 thank you for the Cincy OH postcard. Hmmm Leicester UK in 2044? Not sure I would make plans that far ahead lol. Thank you for the Houses of Parliament postcard, I walked around that area so often, I will respond to your update soon. Believe it or not I just today got your postcard you sent from Kruger National Park! It is dated Dec 20th. Can't believe it took so long to find its way to me. Awesome that you saw so many amazing animals!!
u/Mediocre_Radish_7216 thanks for the wonderful and cute snail mail postcard. You should do a scavenger hunt sometime, I had so much fun with it.
u/melhen16 Thank you for the National Postcard Week rainbow postcard, and thanks for the history lesson on the birth of the postcard, wonder what John Charlton would think about the industry he started?!
u/Mysteryvus x 2 thank you for the beautiful lemon thank you card, it is really very pretty. I am glad you liked the bday card I made as I thought about the things you mentioned you liked. Thanks to for the travel postcard, I really do like to travel. I am calling the travel agent my friend used tomorrow to start the planning of our Australia/NZ trip :) wish me luck!
u/ninayjang thank you for the Rome postcard, I love those art type postcards. I will tell you more about my NM trip soon.
u/PinkPengin thank you for the birds and penguin upcycle postcard. Good to hear from you my friend. I too have a pile of things I am supposed to finish up......I keep getting distracted with making travel plans, people visiting, or one of many other things that grabs my attention.
u/princecowboy thank you for the pen and ink dog face postcard. You were absolutely right, by the time I got this you had made it to your 100 flair - Congrats again. And by now you have received my 100 flair congrats card LOL.
u/purpleroots thank you for the CRAVE postcard with all your doodles :)
u/raspberrypoppyseed thank you for the awesome Disney Gang postcard. Did you have an amazing visit? Did you see any of the parades? They are one of my favorite things to do there.
u/rennbrig thank you for the beautiful artwork postcard of "Shaw Island Meadow" it really is so pretty, so glad you reached your sending goal :)
u/TheFeistyFox thank you so much for my sticker bomb scavenger birthday card, it was fun getting something to stretch my bday celebration this far :) thanks for the washi samples too, love the watermelon!!
u/TyeDyeAmish thank you for the bull fighting postcard, I would have to agree, the bulls probably don't like it! It is not something that I would want to see. I have heard how they are done and I just don't think I could watch it.
u/zenshark33 x 2 thank you for the Happy Spring orange flowers postcard, I have moved several times and the think I like the most is getting rid of things so I don't have to move them, so I am right there with you! Thank you for the purple flower Random Happy Mail postcard, always fun to get unexpected happy mail!
u/Zznightzzz thank you for the birthday postcard from my Scavenger hunt! I loved hearing all about your island and the people there. No problem on its delay in getting sent, been there, done that!! I love that you sent it. I still have one other person that I have not received from so if it makes you feel better you aren't the last one :)
u/wabisabi_sf, u/ninajyang and u/littlemermaidxx thank you so much for the Meet Up postcard from the SF stamp show. What a great venue to meet up and get together!!

TLDR: My "mother" is a vile evil woman who has stolen from my grandma and nephew, committed crimes and exploited people, had me working at 15 to support the family while she did nothing, and lied to me so I wouldn't see my grandma on Mother's Day. I have a long post on my full story on another subreddit on my profile if you want more context.
My "mother" is a vile, awful person who has committed heinous and despicable acts. To make an extremely long story short, I grew up in an unstable household. My dad wasn't around and my mom was unwilling to work to support us. I was pawned off to my grandparents who lived with us, and they were more parents to me than my actual parents were. Everything my mom has done has been to fuel her ego, and as with many narcissists, to seek validation to reinforce her nonexistent identity outside external validation. She needs validation constantly on how young and beautiful she looks, how rich and great she is, and how she is an excellent and caring mom. Yet a good mother wouldn't have had me and my siblings and grandparents living in a former drug house infested with millions of roaches, rats, black mold, and on again off again running water and electricity. A good mom also wouldn't have sat around having parties and drinking while I, at 15 years of age and two senior citizens, broke our backs trying to sell and rent party supplies and carrying an 800 lb bounce house to customers that wanted to rent them. I worked at 15 like a Victorian boy instead of going to school trying to make ends meet because my parents wouldn't. My "mother" has done everything evil you can think of, from scamming and stealing from innocent people, catfishing other men (while with my stepdad), pretending to be my sister online for validation and money, forcing my sister to be a model and hook up with much older men for the promise of advancement (she was 17 and these men where in there 30s or older), spies on my widowed sister-in-law, had me living in deplorable conditions and having me eat old food infested with roaches and rat droppings, conducting illegal gambling business and money laundering, kept the fact that (some of) my siblings are adopted from them, baby trapped my stepdad, had little to no concern for my mental health and did not help or try to accommodate my sensory issues (I suspect I may have level 1 autism, mostly with sensory issues) and much, much, much more. I have been going to therapy and am currently doing emdr to undo the damage that my evil "mother" has done. She is a master of manipulation, love bombing, and buying people's love, loyalty, and affection. I, for the second time, have gone no contact with her.
Now that there's some context, my grandmother means everything to me. She lives in a convalescent home and my mom has control over her. I wanted to see her on Mother's Day. My mom asked if I was going to come to lunch. I said we were visiting my wife's mom, then coming to the house later at 5. She said that was not going to work because they were going to eat at 1. I said, OK well, if we can't do the restaurant, then take her to the house, so we can all visit her at 5. She said she couldn't do that, and why couldn't we just go to eat with them and then, IF there's time, we could go to my mother-in-law's house for a little bit. I said no, everything has been arranged already, and as usual you don't inform anyone of plans and expect everyone last second to cancel theirs and do yours. We were going to make my mother-in-law a priority, however, there was time for both. She got mad and said she would not be bringing my grandma to the house and I guess that was it. I said, well, I guess it is. On Mother's Day, I called my grandma, and she was upset and crying, asking why I hadn't seen her, and that she had come to visit the house. My mom took her to the house after lunch and didn't tell me. Neither did any of my other family. She said that she wanted to come back home and didn't want to live at the facility. She is fairly healthy and in reality, doesn't need to be at the facility. After talking to her, I confronted my mom and said that I explicitly told you that I wanted to see Grandma, and you said you were NOT bringing her to the house. You did bring her to the house and intentionally did not tell me. Because I did not bow down and follow your commands like everyone else, you deliberately orchestrated this, so I would not see her in an act of revenge to spite me. There was no reason you couldn't have called or texted and told me you were bringing her, especially after I told you I wanted to see her, even if it was at the last minute. It was an intentional act. She just said you are always talking shit about me. I told her it's not talking shit if it's true. She then hung up. This is what she does. If you don't follow the Führers command, bow at her feet, and tell her how wonderful and gracious she is, she will seek vengeance and do things to spite you, to bring glory for herself.
My grandma told me that my "mom" mistreats her, and is collecting pay from the government pretending to be her caretaker (when in reality my mom does absolutely nothing and has no job whatsoever. She dedicates her life to crime, fraud, and scams. She ran an underground casino with my stepdad and when they got busted my stepdad took the fall) but instead dumped her in a conversant home and does not care for her at all. Besides all that, my grandma also stated that she takes all of her social security money and keeps it. This is not surprising because my nephew, who is technically an orphan, having lost both parents recently, is under the custody of my horrible "mother" and he had some kind of inheritance left for him. When my "mother" discovered this, she swept in and wiped it clean. Her greed is deplorable. Wherever there is money, the Sheriff of Nottingham will do anything to get every last coin wherever she can get it. She even charges people $5 to use the washing machine. The most important thing to my "mother" is herself and her endless black hole of needing to be validated and praised, along with the endless black hole of greed. It is her entire identity. I am so enraged, and I can not let these things happen. When will my "mother" face consequences for her actions? She cannot continue to commit evil acts and not only get away with them but also prosper because of it. One of the worst parts, however, is that everyone, even if they have their problems with her, always goes along with what the dear leader says and continues to enable her by telling her she's a good mom and that they appreciate her. She needs to face consequences for her actions, but I don't know what to do. She can't continue to harm people and get away with it. I need help.

This has come up a bit in other posts and in my own playgroup. I figure it's worth a little discussion. I always remember a quote from a Game Design Conference video I watched - "Players are excellent at identifying problems, and horrible at coming up with solutions for them" - so I'll be light on the suggestions, because they're probably ass 😉
Why do I want fellow faction teammates around?
There are some obvious positive aspects.

• PvP defense/numbers
• They might have a key you need
• Potential for fun interactions/grouping up on quests that allow it
• Distraction for enemy AI
• They might help if you message them

When I start to think of the negatives, and how my group has responded to having "blueberries" nearby in game...

• Blue on blue threat on PvP servers, it's gotten better, but there is always the threat that they misidentify and kill you
• Fighting for kills on kill quests
• Fighting to reach the bosses first
• Chance of them looting you if you die nearby
• Potential for them to alert the AI in an area, could be helpful, could get you killed
• Fighting over helicopter spots

I think going forward, once we get past the initial launch punch list, looking at ways to make your faction mean more would be awesome. We should want to work together, ally up, and not have to feel like we're putting one another out by accidentally taking their kills, etc.
There will always be a risk of blue on blue, but the benefits of allies should outweigh the negatives, and currently, the negatives tend to be much more severe whereas the positives are nice, but not necessary when it comes with a chance of death/being looted.
My few suggestions...

• Harder PvE be it through more AI in terms of numbers, or harder in terms of difficulty. It would be nice to feel like I need their help. I know some people think the AI is too hard, but I'm finding that the majority of the areas currently are not that difficult, particularly after your first venture through them.
• Some sort of faction chat
• Map symbols, maybe a map symbol that acts quite literally as a group invite; ie: I place a 'quest here' marker over by Ban Pa, and folks who need it can click join, and head that way.
• Shared objective credit for kill quests for both normal AI and bosses. PMCs are not one man armies.
• The ability to have your helicopter be open, or not; meant as a way to prevent griefers from hopping on and fucking with you.
• Maybe give players a few different starting branch options after the main town to spread people out a bit, so we aren't all on top of one another, with over half the faction trying to do the same thing. Even if we did share the reward, it isn't exactly rewarding to plow through the AI with a horde of faction mates, at least at the current AI spawn/difficulty levels.

That's all. Loving the game, nearly ~70 hours in so far, but the reality is, I'd largely be just as happy playing with just my squad on the side of my faction. I've had some great interactions with faction members, but the negative ones end up being the ones you remember more easily, and the ones that tend to waste the most of your playtime. Got any ideas to make being on a faction more fun, meaningful, and rewarding for everybody?

MURTAGH spoilers ahead.
Hi all,
Just wanted to share some interesting similarities between Dwarves and Dreamers I noticed while rereading parts of Murtagh and Eldest. I'll also call attention to some interesting unrelated comments on some of the text cited below as well.
​
Religion & Incense:
Eldest:

The dwarf beckoned again and strode down the main avenue toward
Celbedeil. As they passed under its eaves, Eragon could only marvel at
the wealth and craftsmanship displayed around him. The walls were
spotted with gems of every color and cut—though all flawless—and red
gold had been hammered into the veins lacing the stone ceilings, walls,
and floor. Pearls and silver provided accents. Occasionally, they passed a
screen partition carved entirely of jade.

MURTAGH:

Unlike before, she wore an elaborate headpiece of jade
and leather that was black and polished to an oily sheen. Her dress was red
and, again, sewn from strips of knotted straps. Rubies and emeralds glinted
from the rings on her thumbs.

Comments: The jade connection was particularly interesting, as well as the emphasis on fine gems in Celbediel and on Bachel's fingers.
​
A side note: Dreamers love rings - Bachel wears many. Sarros, too, wore many rings:

Rings glittered on his fingers. (The Fulsome Feast, MURTAGH)

Which makes me wonder about King Orrin:

Orrin accepted the news with an equanimity that unsettled her. Then he gripped the sill with both hands and returned to his study of the city. Adorning his fingers were four large rings - (The Price of Power, Inheritance)

​
​
Incense:
Eldest: At Celbediel, religious center of Tarnag

His next impression was of smell. Flowers and incense mixed their per-fumes into an aroma so ethereal, Eragon felt as if he could live on the scent alone.

MURTAGH: At Nal Gorgoth

The chamber seemed part throne room and part inner sanctum. In its
center sat a brazier of hammered copper, ten feet across and laden with a bed
of smoldering coals. From it, smoke and incense—rich with the scent of
sage, pine, and cedar—thickened the air, although they could not obscure
the underlying taint of brimstone, which seemed stronger, more
concentrated there within the temple.

​
​
Feasts:
Eldest:

Before them were soups and stews filled with various tubers, roasted
venison, long hot loaves of sourdough bread, and rows of honeycakes
dripped with raspberry preserve. In a bed of greens lay filleted trout gar-
nished with parsley, and on the side, pickled eel stared forlornly at an urn
of cheese, as if hoping to somehow escape back into a river. A swan sat
on each table, surrounded by a flock of stuffed partridges, geese, and
Ducks.
Mushrooms were everywhere: broiled in juicy strips, placed atop a
bird’s head like a bonnet, or carved in the shape of castles amid moats of
gravy. An incredible variety was on display, from puffy white mushrooms
the size of Eragon’s fist, to ones he could have mistaken for gnarled bark,
to delicate toadstools sliced neatly in half to showcase their blue flesh.
Then the centerpiece of the feast was revealed: a gigantic roasted boar,
glistening with sauce...
“Nagra,” whispered Orik. “Giant boar...

MURTAGH:

Then the observances came to an end, and the villagers fell to feasting.
That, at least, Murtagh was familiar with. Great servings of food were
brought forth from the temple kitchens and from dwellings throughout Nal
Gorgoth. Boar meat and venison and mushrooms prepared in a dizzying
variety of dishes. Wine too, and mead, and bergenhed, and aspic, and loaves
of fresh-baked bread, and more besides. Pies, savory and sweet. Deep dishes
of creamy soup, wedges of hard and soft cheeses, berry tarts. All manner of
sumptuous food.

Tunnels: I could cite a lot of text here, but let's just recognize that both the Dwarves and Dreamers love tunnels and deep places. There are even dwarves called "deep dwellers" - this is quite the eerie title considering the cultists of Nal Gorgoth and their deep, deep caves and Oth Orum.
I'm going to leave you with an interesting quote from Inheritance, when Eragon and Arya are in the tunnels beneath Dras-Leona:

On the other side of the opening was a dark, heavily built chamber that reminded Eragon of the caves under Tronjheim - (Under Hill And Stone)

Some of my upcoming theory posts:
- was Vrael a Dreamer?
- Who are the light-bringers?

Tarot Reader since 2017 who has fully mastered in depth readings to bring true insight to the energies and circumstances you are dealing with, with the use of Oracle and Astrology as well. Shaneka's Services And Contact Linktree
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so recently my friend of 2 years dropped me for no reason and just ghosted me and my entire existence when she sees me. i never trashtalked her or spread rumors about her, im also kinda quiet so nobody would make stuff up about me making stuff up about her. she also has more friends now but idk if this would just make her decide to throw 2 years of friendship down the line. the only other reason i can think of is her ex calling me but in a platonic way because we were already friends prior to their relationship (the guy was literally friends with every girl in the class), they ended on somewhat terms (i think), and the guy already knew who i liked (which was another guy and he even hooked me up with him) so i don’t think he had any ill intent. the first time he called me, i told her since i was also texting her at the time and i texted smth along the lines of “ur boytoys calling” and she seemed indifferent and kind of implied or said idc but the details of it arent too clear in my head. also im kinda concerned about him because he also “snip snips” himself. he also calls other girls, some of which are closer friends with the girl that dropped me so i never thought it was a problem. also our convos were short, just brainrot quotes, and it’s lowk kinda refreshing to not have to talk about something of somebodys interest all the damn time, but this was the only other thing i could think of that would make her want to drop me. i also want advice to make me feel better because i cant enter the same vicinity as her and i spend my lunch period in the bathroom now because shes in the cafeteria (even today my teacher was about to force me to go in the cafeteria but only stopped when i started crying. im not tryna seek attention from this sentence but im just trying to demonstrate why i need closure). idk how to stop these feelings because each time i see her, she resurfaces memories of her leaving me in middle school to go to other friends or just leaves me out. during our friendship, i constantly catered conversations to her interest and even educated myself on kpop lore so she would stop being dry and give one word responses. the only other times she’d be invested is when theres gossip and im just so drained from those times so in a way, im kinda glad she dropped me, but I still feel like dogwater. i just need to know if i did smth wrong, and if so, what was it because it’s been bugging me for 2 months and she’s so popular n everybody loves her so idk what i did wrong

I'll try to be as brief as possible, but so sorry that this is gonna be long. Please also, if you're only going to say "NO CONTACT" that is not helpful. My post is just gonna show how drugs and alcohol can affect everyone in the family. If you are struggling, get help because you are not only ruining your lives but the lives and relationships of everyone around you.
Background: My MIL has been addicted to alcohol, pills and marijuana since my husband was a child. Lots of trauma from that, that deserves a post on its own. For the 12 years I've been with my husband, it's been a never-ending cycle of using/drinking, going to rehab, getting sober, slipping up but hiding it, rinse and repeat.
Ever since having kids, she wants the privilege being a grandma but obviously chooses the alcohol and drugs over them every time since she has never stayed sober. Because of that and the fact that DH's family members (mostly FIL) also hide/lie about her sobriety, we've decided that since we can't ever fully trust her, she cannot see the kids without either me or DH being around. Previously (and more than once), we had celebrated a whole year (or so we thought) of her being sober and given her unrestricted access to the kids (sleepovers, her taking them out) when we let our guards down and feel like we can trust her again, only to find out later that she wasn't sober. Because all of the back and forth, no contact, awkward family gatherings because we didn't want her around, we decided that we are just going to assume she is not 100% sober and we can't trust her to be alone with our kids (even if FIL is around too because he hides her drug use from us).
Me & DH agreed that... - She can see the kids, as long as one of us is around - She is not drinking and/or high (we can 100% tell and she will avoid us if she is, cancel plans, not show up, etc) - No babysitting, sleepovers, she can't take our kids anywhere
This allowed her to still be in the kids' lives and not make family gatherings awkward and cause more drama.
Despite these rules, that we have told over and over again, she continues to ask to babysit and for sleepovers. We (DH) tell her no, she says ok and acts all sad and throws herself a pity party and then waits a period of time (couple of weeks, months) and then asks again like we forgot. Sometimes she even says "I've been sober" or "I'm going to therapy" or the worst one "I did rehab, isn't that enough for you?" We think she still asks because 1. She's not very smart. 2. She thinks if she keeps asking we'll give in. 3. SIL still allows her son to sleepover, so why not us? (SIL complains about MIL all of the time and how she doesn't trust her but she still allows this...don't know why, but not our kid, not our problem). DH has a huge problem with this because SIL talks about how much she hates her mom yet still loves the free babysitter, again, it's shitty but that's her life/decision.
Recently, she asked DH again for a sleepover because nephew (SIL's son) was sleeping over. DH hadn't responded to her yet, but did bring it up to me. Of course I was like uhhhh, did she forget...again? Both of us had a deep convo about it, mostly because how triggered I get when she asks because during my postpartum with my 1st son, she treated me horribly...would act so supportive and loving one moment and then say cruel things to me while I was in the darkest depths of my postpartum depression, broke my trust with the drugs/drinking and DH at the time looked the other way (he didn't side with her, he just told me this is how she is and we just have to deal with it, she means well but I have to look past the drinking/drugs). Well, I put up a fight because NO I was not dealing with it and allowing an active drug addict to be around my kids and that he's fucked up because of her when he was growing up. He saw the light and promised to always have my back and stick up for our marriage and kids.
More of the convo revolved around my guilt to allow her in the kids life, she seems to truly want to be involved, but has her demons and chooses drugs/alcohol/lies instead. And obviously, I am always the one to be blamed for any limited contact with the kids although, DH says he agrees with our choices and shuts his mom down every time.
We also discuss the really weird sleeping arrangements for sleepovers they have at FIL & MIL's from what I hear. They have no spare bedrooms, tons of animals dogs/cats. Nephew, who is 6, has never slept in his own bed at home (he sleeps with his mom and always has). No hate towards co-sleeping parents, you do you...but when he sleeps at MIL & FIL's, he sleeps in bed WITH him. That's a big no for me if this were my kids. No bed, how about the couch? No, my son has severe animal allergies, especially cats, and the animals hang out on the couch, it's full of hair and dander. My parents also have cats and they make sure he has an animal free room to sleep in if he sleeps over. He needs to sleep in an animal free room, in-laws don't have that. At our house we have 2 dogs and 1 cat, and manage his allergies well by not allowing them in his room. (The animal allergy thing is important, don't forget that!) So even if she was sober and trustworthy, he couldn't still sleepover because they can't accommodate the sleeping arrangement he needs. After chatting about this stuff, DH says he will call his mom and remind her once again and that the answer is NO.
A couple of days go by and we see MIL & FIL at a family get-together. Everything seems normal, MIL is not acting out of the ordinary. FIL randomly tells me, "MIL is getting rid of all of her cats." which is odd, she's had them for years, she loves them. Taken aback, when I ask why, he says, I don't know and doesn't bring it up again. We get home and SIL comes over and we are chatting , she says, did you know MIL is getting rid of all of her cats so DS can sleepover? And I start to laugh. Yeah, that's the reason...and SIL laughs too and agrees (she knows our rule). But she says, yeah FIL said you (as in me, not DH) said DS can't sleepover because they have cats. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure DH told her it was because the drugs/alcohol, she's probably making that excuse but now I'm worried that she is really gonna get rid of those poor cats! I flag DH into the room to verify to SIL that he told her what we talked about days before and he's like no I didn't remind her that she can't have alone time with the kids because of the drugs/alcohol, I just blamed that cats and sleeping arrangement so I didn't have her hear her crying and whining.
I'm shocked and pissed. I ask DH why he gave that excuse and instead of what we talked about and he just got upset and blamed his mom for everything; how he hates talking to her, she's a POS, etc, etc. It's a tough subject for him to talk about because of all of the trauma he's experienced growing up, to what she put me through, the drama involving the kids, etc. Working through it with him in the past has been tough because he just wants to block it all out. SIL apologizes for bringing it up (not her fault) and leaves.
That night, I tell DH I am disappointed that he didn't tell his mom the real reason why our kids are not, and will not, sleepover. I told him by blaming the cats, makes (me) look like an asshole because I am blamed by default and gives her false hope for the future. She is batshit crazy and for some reason hellbent on having the kids (without us, seriously WTF is that about?!) He says he agrees that that is the real reason but is tired of being a broken record and saying the same thing over and over again. I tell him I felt like I did back in postpartum where he didn't have my back again. He felt really bad and didn't really talk to me much even the next day. He said he feels so ashamed of his family, his mom in particular, embarrassed and feels as though he let me down. He tells me time and time again that we can cut his parents off completely, but of course it will come with a cost and collateral damage, that's not worth doing IMO.
We are working through it, I feel bad that I got mad at him, I just am tired of all of this bullshit as well, although that is nothing new. It sucks that her shitty behavior, time and time again, causes so much turmoil. From what I hear, she doesn't see it that way. I don't know if she is that delusional or really just doesn't care about anyone else but herself. ALL of her kids dislike her, if not hate her, and I truly believe that is the reason why she clings onto the grandkids so much, they don't know the true person she is...yet.

https://planckstorytime.wordpress.com/ Hello! This is an essay analyzing the themes of FF7 Rebirth through a psychoanalytic lens, while also critiquing the execution of the game's writing. Moreover, it's a personal reflection on my journey with the game, and the complicated feelings that got tangled up with that. Please give it a read if you have the chance.
Previous articles: FF7: Reflections of a Traumatized Generation (2020)
I Need to Talk about Final Fantasy VII Remake or My Head Will Explode (2021)
Excerpt: “A confluence of worlds… and emotions. Loss, chief among them. It engulfs fleeting moments of joy, transforming them into rage, sadness, hatred.”
– Sephiroth, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth (2024), speaking to me, specifically
*The following contains spoilers*
I. Memoirs of a Neurotic Fan
Hoo boy.
It’s been a long four years since Final Fantasy VII Remake (2020) released, and I don’t think I have ever before devoted so much emotional energy to deciphering how I truly feel about a piece of media. Initially, I enjoyed my return to a reimagined world of lovable characters, but unfavorable writing choices and a mind-boggling finale left me feeling torn. Despite striving to maintain an optimistic outlook at the end of my previous essay, my perspective on the game only darkened as the years wore on. Developer interviews constantly oscillated back and forth as to whether they would remain faithful to the original FF7 (1997), or, as the ending of Remake indicated, strike out on a brand new “unknown journey.” That’s not to mention the downright radioactive discourse among fans, combined with the litany of harassing messages I received for the most tepid criticisms.
Eventually, I grew to despise Remake. The positive emotions and ecstatic love I had for parts of the game sunk beneath my waves of ire toward its creative divergences – as well as what they represented to me. And I fed that hate. I hated its ponderous navel-gazing about the nature of adaptations. I hated its self-congratulatory insinuation that asinine story decisions like the “Baby’s-First-Metacommentary” Whispers and the resurrection of multiple deceased characters somehow constituted “bold” storytelling. I hated the uncritical portion of certain audiences that fell for this illusion of transgressive storytelling, all the while embracing a game that went out of its way to barrage the player with fanservice and puerile pandering. I hated the frequent argumentation that “it’s not a remake, it’s a sequel” was somehow seen as a mitigating factor, when it actually further aggravated my problems with it. I hated Remake’s emphasis on novelty, its subversion without meaning, its arrogant alienation of new audiences that wanted to experience a classic story, and its implicitly cynical view on thousands of years of storytelling tradition for the sake of “surprise.” To quote director Naoki Hamaguchi:
“When you try to remake a game and make it an entertaining game, having the exact storyline as the original would lack the excitement and surprise. I was looking for an essence to add to the story, and Zack was chosen to be this essence because in the original, there wasn’t much story about Zack, but in Crisis Core, he had a huge character development.”
But that lonely ember of hope persisted; after all, I had loved Remake at one point. I hated that stubborn attachment most of all. By the time Rebirth was fully unveiled, I wanted only one thing from it: to repulse me to my core, to be something so egregiously offensive to my sensibilities that I could never associate the project with anything positive again. “Perhaps if things get stupid enough,” I thought, “others will also see the emperor’s nakedness.” Pain and despair morphed into objects of desire for me. They were my keys to escaping these contradictory feelings of love and hate.
As you can see, I am quite well-adjusted and able to engage with art in a healthy way.
Continue Reading

I'm a divorced guy, starting the next chapter in my life, and I'm seeking my forever person. Pics in my profile. About me:

• I do not want kids. No compromise on this. I wish to live childfree and am seeking a partner who desires the same.
• I am a leftist, progressive socialist. I am strongly pro-LGBTQIA+. BLM. ACAB.
• I'm an atheist, humanist, secularist and am staunchly pro-science. I want to believe as many true things and as few false things as I can.
• I’m a big nerd. I love books, comics, movies, games of all sorts, including video and tabletop. I love pop culture, especially from decades past. I quote a lot of movies and shows. I collect toys. I’m a big kid at heart, reclaiming what I never had as a child.
• I’m an abuse survivor. I separated from my abusive family almost a decade ago and my family now is a family of choice. I am strongly interested in and a proponent of mental health.
• I’m a dog lover. I have two now and will likely always have dogs in my life, as I see them as an essential part of my happiness. Unfortunately, I am highly allergic to cats.
• I’m mildly autistic; I can pass pretty easily. I’m sensitive and introverted and have a limited amount of spoons to spend on social stuff. I’m a homebody, and like my peace and quiet, though I’m happy to share that with a like-minded person.
• I am honest, direct, forthright, and have a strong ethical compass. I am very much in touch with my emotions. I strive never to fall into the traps of toxic masculinity. I value the truth, and am a proponent of clear, open communication in a relationship.
• My love languages are acts of service, touch, and words of affirmation.
• I am seeking monogamy only.
• I am sober; I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs.
• I’m in Kentucky right now but I’m pretty eager to move elsewhere eventually. My job is remote so I can go pretty much where I want. So I’m down for an LDR, at first. But please be willing/able to travel if you’re far away.
• Some people really care about height; I'm tall, 6'4".
• Lastly, I am fat. I’m not looking to change that right now. Loving myself as I am. I’m also into fat liberation, and ending the stigma against large bodies. I believe everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, and to find love and sex, regardless of their size.

I cordially invite you to reply if:

• You know what you are looking for and are not interested in games. You're seeking a serious relationship that will last. You are honest, authentic, grounded, and seeking the same sort of things I am. You are able to be vulnerable and are good at communicating.
• You are neurodivergent or comfortable with those who are.
• You're a homebody, a couch potato, someone who likes staying in and watching a show together rather than going on a lot of outdoor adventures.
• You are non-religious.
• You are politically left-leaning.
• You are childfree.
• You're sober and a non-smoker.
• You're geeky, nerdy, crafty, having special interests, hobbies, and obsessions you're eager to share.
• You are sex-positive, body-positive, and kink-friendly.
• You are emotionally intelligent, emotionally available, and good at communicating.
• You are stable in your life enough to pursue a long-term and likely long-distance relationship.
• You are plus-size, a BBW, thick, curvy, or whatever term suits you best; I like big girls.

Bonus points if any of the following apply to you: you bake, you like ASMR, you're a fan of Tolkien/Lord of the Rings, you play RPGs, you play video games, you like 80s and 90s pop culture, you're a redhead, you wear glasses, you're a dog lover, you have a southern accent, you got a phat booty.
Seeking ladies between 30-50, though that's not set in stone if the connection works. A pic of you in your initial message is highly appreciated if possible.

I'm a divorced guy, starting the next chapter in my life, and I'm seeking my forever person. Pics in my profile. About me:

• I do not want kids. No compromise on this. I wish to live childfree and am seeking a partner who desires the same.
• I am a leftist, progressive socialist. I am strongly pro-LGBTQIA+. BLM. ACAB.
• I'm an atheist, humanist, secularist and am staunchly pro-science. I want to believe as many true things and as few false things as I can.
• I’m a big nerd. I love books, comics, movies, games of all sorts, including video and tabletop. I love pop culture, especially from decades past. I quote a lot of movies and shows. I collect toys. I’m a big kid at heart, reclaiming what I never had as a child.
• I’m an abuse survivor. I separated from my abusive family almost a decade ago and my family now is a family of choice. I am strongly interested in and a proponent of mental health.
• I’m a dog lover. I have two now and will likely always have dogs in my life, as I see them as an essential part of my happiness. Unfortunately, I am highly allergic to cats.
• I’m mildly autistic; I can pass pretty easily. I’m sensitive and introverted and have a limited amount of spoons to spend on social stuff. I’m a homebody, and like my peace and quiet, though I’m happy to share that with a like-minded person.
• I am honest, direct, forthright, and have a strong ethical compass. I am very much in touch with my emotions. I strive never to fall into the traps of toxic masculinity. I value the truth, and am a proponent of clear, open communication in a relationship.
• My love languages are acts of service, touch, and words of affirmation.
• I am seeking monogamy only.
• I am sober; I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs.
• I’m in Kentucky right now but I’m pretty eager to move elsewhere eventually. My job is remote so I can go pretty much where I want. So I’m down for an LDR, at first. But please be willing/able to travel if you’re far away.
• Some people really care about height; I'm tall, 6'4".
• Lastly, I am fat. I’m not looking to change that right now. Loving myself as I am. I’m also into fat liberation, and ending the stigma against large bodies. I believe everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, and to find love and sex, regardless of their size.

I cordially invite you to reply if:

• You know what you are looking for and are not interested in games. You're seeking a serious relationship that will last. You are honest, authentic, grounded, and seeking the same sort of things I am. You are able to be vulnerable and are good at communicating.
• You are neurodivergent or comfortable with those who are.
• You're a homebody, a couch potato, someone who likes staying in and watching a show together rather than going on a lot of outdoor adventures.
• You are non-religious.
• You are politically left-leaning.
• You are childfree.
• You're sober and a non-smoker.
• You're geeky, nerdy, crafty, having special interests, hobbies, and obsessions you're eager to share.
• You are sex-positive & body-positive.
• You are emotionally intelligent, emotionally available, and good at communicating.
• You are stable in your life enough to pursue a long-term and likely long-distance relationship.
• You are plus-size, a BBW, thick, curvy, or whatever term suits you best; I like big girls.

Bonus points if any of the following apply to you: you bake, you like ASMR, you're a fan of Tolkien/Lord of the Rings, you play RPGs, you play video games, you like 80s and 90s pop culture, you're a redhead, you wear glasses, you're a dog lover, you have a southern accent, you got a phat booty.
Seeking ladies between 30-50, though that's not set in stone if the connection works. A pic of you in your initial message is highly appreciated if possible.

I'm graduating this month as an education major, and I really want to create my own cap topper based on Abbot Elementary. I absolutely love this show and thought it'd be funny to make a reference to it. However, I need help coming up with some funny/wholesome quotes that I can add to my cap. I really like the metaphor Barbara used about her name being a garden. But I was wondering if there are any others I could use. I appreciate any input!

my basic little one story cinderblock house in florida is ~25 years old, with single pane vinyl windows. for humidity, noise, and energy cost reasons, i would love to change them out. it would be nice if they would add to resale value, but i dont know if that's really a thing i can expect any return on?
the list:

• seven large windows
• two smaller / side windows for a bay-window style outcrop in the kitchen
• two sets of very basic french doors that i can see daylight around even with added weatherstripping
• a front door that is a little worn and i don't love - but is tolerable

i got a quote three years ago and it was like $30k for hurricane impact replacements for the nine windows ($1500 each, installed) and two french doors ($5k each, installed). iirc they also said a front door would be $5k. i cant pay that much right now.
any recommendations or advice - be it approach, vendors, or things to keep in mind? renovation windows vs new construction? it sounds like big box stores are an option but have their own issues, but also, specialty companies are a price tier i cant entertain.
my county requires impact windows and doors, and permits for both, but as the homeowner i can also pull them myself if i am doing the work. i don't mind doing them slowly and one or two at a time, if that's a reasonable approach for someone without a GC in the family - but i will hire someone to help with what i should.
i would appreciate any advice folks have... even if its what not to do - i know those lessons are expensive, too.

https://planckstorytime.wordpress.com/ Hello! This is an essay analyzing the themes of FF7 Rebirth through a psychoanalytic lens, while also critiquing the execution of the game's writing. Moreover, it's a personal reflection on my journey with the game, and the complicated feelings that got tangled up with that. Please give it a read if you have the chance.
Previous articles: FF7: Reflections of a Traumatized Generation (2020)
I Need to Talk about Final Fantasy VII Remake or My Head Will Explode (2021)
Excerpt: “A confluence of worlds… and emotions. Loss, chief among them. It engulfs fleeting moments of joy, transforming them into rage, sadness, hatred.”
– Sephiroth, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth (2024), speaking to me, specifically
*The following contains spoilers*
I. Memoirs of a Neurotic Fan
Hoo boy.
It’s been a long four years since Final Fantasy VII Remake (2020) released, and I don’t think I have ever before devoted so much emotional energy to deciphering how I truly feel about a piece of media. Initially, I enjoyed my return to a reimagined world of lovable characters, but unfavorable writing choices and a mind-boggling finale left me feeling torn. Despite striving to maintain an optimistic outlook at the end of my previous essay, my perspective on the game only darkened as the years wore on. Developer interviews constantly oscillated back and forth as to whether they would remain faithful to the original FF7 (1997), or, as the ending of Remake indicated, strike out on a brand new “unknown journey.” That’s not to mention the downright radioactive discourse among fans, combined with the litany of harassing messages I received for the most tepid criticisms.
Eventually, I grew to despise Remake. The positive emotions and ecstatic love I had for parts of the game sunk beneath my waves of ire toward its creative divergences – as well as what they represented to me. And I fed that hate. I hated its ponderous navel-gazing about the nature of adaptations. I hated its self-congratulatory insinuation that asinine story decisions like the “Baby’s-First-Metacommentary” Whispers and the resurrection of multiple deceased characters somehow constituted “bold” storytelling. I hated the uncritical portion of certain audiences that fell for this illusion of transgressive storytelling, all the while embracing a game that went out of its way to barrage the player with fanservice and puerile pandering. I hated the frequent argumentation that “it’s not a remake, it’s a sequel” was somehow seen as a mitigating factor, when it actually further aggravated my problems with it. I hated Remake’s emphasis on novelty, its subversion without meaning, its arrogant alienation of new audiences that wanted to experience a classic story, and its implicitly cynical view on thousands of years of storytelling tradition for the sake of “surprise.” To quote director Naoki Hamaguchi:
“When you try to remake a game and make it an entertaining game, having the exact storyline as the original would lack the excitement and surprise. I was looking for an essence to add to the story, and Zack was chosen to be this essence because in the original, there wasn’t much story about Zack, but in Crisis Core, he had a huge character development.”
But that lonely ember of hope persisted; after all, I had loved Remake at one point. I hated that stubborn attachment most of all. By the time Rebirth was fully unveiled, I wanted only one thing from it: to repulse me to my core, to be something so egregiously offensive to my sensibilities that I could never associate the project with anything positive again. “Perhaps if things get stupid enough,” I thought, “others will also see the emperor’s nakedness.” Pain and despair morphed into objects of desire for me. They were my keys to escaping these contradictory feelings of love and hate.
As you can see, I am quite well-adjusted and able to engage with art in a healthy way.
Continue Reading

https://planckstorytime.wordpress.com/ Hello! This is an essay analyzing the themes of FF7 Rebirth through a psychoanalytic lens, while also critiquing the execution of the game's writing. Moreover, it's a personal reflection on my journey with the game, and the complicated feelings that got tangled up with that. Please give it a read if you have the chance.
Previous articles: FF7: Reflections of a Traumatized Generation (2020)
I Need to Talk about Final Fantasy VII Remake or My Head Will Explode (2021)
Excerpt: “A confluence of worlds… and emotions. Loss, chief among them. It engulfs fleeting moments of joy, transforming them into rage, sadness, hatred.”
– Sephiroth, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth (2024), speaking to me, specifically
*The following contains spoilers*
I. Memoirs of a Neurotic Fan
Hoo boy.
It’s been a long four years since Final Fantasy VII Remake (2020) released, and I don’t think I have ever before devoted so much emotional energy to deciphering how I truly feel about a piece of media. Initially, I enjoyed my return to a reimagined world of lovable characters, but unfavorable writing choices and a mind-boggling finale left me feeling torn. Despite striving to maintain an optimistic outlook at the end of my previous essay, my perspective on the game only darkened as the years wore on. Developer interviews constantly oscillated back and forth as to whether they would remain faithful to the original FF7 (1997), or, as the ending of Remake indicated, strike out on a brand new “unknown journey.” That’s not to mention the downright radioactive discourse among fans, combined with the litany of harassing messages I received for the most tepid criticisms.
Eventually, I grew to despise Remake. The positive emotions and ecstatic love I had for parts of the game sunk beneath my waves of ire toward its creative divergences – as well as what they represented to me. And I fed that hate. I hated its ponderous navel-gazing about the nature of adaptations. I hated its self-congratulatory insinuation that asinine story decisions like the “Baby’s-First-Metacommentary” Whispers and the resurrection of multiple deceased characters somehow constituted “bold” storytelling. I hated the uncritical portion of certain audiences that fell for this illusion of transgressive storytelling, all the while embracing a game that went out of its way to barrage the player with fanservice and puerile pandering. I hated the frequent argumentation that “it’s not a remake, it’s a sequel” was somehow seen as a mitigating factor, when it actually further aggravated my problems with it. I hated Remake’s emphasis on novelty, its subversion without meaning, its arrogant alienation of new audiences that wanted to experience a classic story, and its implicitly cynical view on thousands of years of storytelling tradition for the sake of “surprise.” To quote director Naoki Hamaguchi:
“When you try to remake a game and make it an entertaining game, having the exact storyline as the original would lack the excitement and surprise. I was looking for an essence to add to the story, and Zack was chosen to be this essence because in the original, there wasn’t much story about Zack, but in Crisis Core, he had a huge character development.”
But that lonely ember of hope persisted; after all, I had loved Remake at one point. I hated that stubborn attachment most of all. By the time Rebirth was fully unveiled, I wanted only one thing from it: to repulse me to my core, to be something so egregiously offensive to my sensibilities that I could never associate the project with anything positive again. “Perhaps if things get stupid enough,” I thought, “others will also see the emperor’s nakedness.” Pain and despair morphed into objects of desire for me. They were my keys to escaping these contradictory feelings of love and hate.
As you can see, I am quite well-adjusted and able to engage with art in a healthy way.
Continue Reading

DISCLAIMER: This theory uses text from the leaked 2.3 relics, Firefly's signature light cone, the current Glamoth planar relics, and relevant lines from dialogue in the story. I'll do my best to cite my sources for everything!
Let's get down to business! Who, or what, is Titania exactly?
According to both planar relics, she's the "Empress". That's about the only thing they agree on though, because the sphere describes her as a benevolent ruler who brought civilization to Glamoth's outer colonies, while the rope actually tells us that she's got no power (but I think they mean political power, since it also claims she telepathically commanded the Iron Cavalry and that seems kinda powerful), and that the ruling council created her in response to the Swarm's attack. Here's a longer excerpt from the rope's description:

"In the dreams that these warriors are woven into, the sole meaning of their existence is to guard Titania and her 'empire'. In their short lives, they studied, fought, received the Empress' commands, faced the enemy fearlessly, and died with honor."

It's pretty damning evidence that "empire" is written in quotation marks like this in most of these relics, and I've got theories about what kind of state Glamoth was (cough cough. Interstellar colonizers, cough), but that's another discussion. What matters here is that Titania definitely isn't a real Empress. Maybe she's a puppet ruler, or a symbol but not a person, or even some kind of war tactic AI skynet situation to direct troops, or whatever floats your boat.
I don't think she's Firefly, though. IMO it'd be a little tacky to get another identity reveal after Sam, but I wouldn't be making this post if I didn't have a stronger argument than that. Before 2.2, there were a lot of theories about her identity as Sam, the Stellaron Hunter... specifically theories that wanted to separate that identity from "Firefly", either by claiming Sam might be an AI or a second personality, or by claiming that Firefly is an ordinary girl (or Titania) who found the armor and decided to wear it. Lemme go over my counterarguments for both these points, and then I'll get to my own theory.
After her first "death" to the meme, Black Swan helps us investigate what Firefly was doing in the hotel, and a certain line of dialogue raised many questions. To quote:

Firefly: "Let's get going..."

(Here Black Swan proposes that she's with another person)

Firefly: "Why did you...!? This isn't what we agreed on..."

(Here Black Swan proposes that somebody betrayed her)

Firefly: "Mecha...!? Why..."

(Here Black Swan points out it's weird of her to say 'mecha')
Thing is, Black Swan's memory magic never shows us this second person, so we can only assume she's talking to the armor, right? Except... we've never seen her and Sam in the same place together. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's actually pretty big proof here. When she transforms into Sam, or back out of Firefly, the armor just appears and disappears in a bunch of flames. Of course it's probably that her transforming device is the reason why, but even without it there's a line in Genshin that could explain this too. In one of the Traveler's profile voicelines, Paimon confirms that weapons and personal items simply appearing out of nowhere is a regular thing that happens in-universe, and it's likely HSR uses this same rule. I don't think there's any hard evidence to suggest the armor even exists physically until she uses her transforming device, so we can rule out this mystery person being Sam.
IMO, it was probably more like an upset reaction to somebody else who brought up the 'mecha' thing first. Maybe something like this:

???: "Sorry Firefly, you can't go off-script. You have to activate your mecha."
Firefly: "Mecha...!? Why..."

It could've been Silver Wolf on the phone, or maybe even Elio, but it doesn't really matter.
Another thing I've seen people argue is that her personality when we first meet Firefly in Golden Hour just doesn't match up with Sam. Voicelines from the Stellaron Hunters, dialogue from SW visiting the Express, and one of Blade's story chapters all describe him as the ruthless and cold-blooded muscle of the group, which is very different from the sweetheart tour guide we met. I think people can't understand how these two versions of her coexist, but they're not mutually exclusive at all. What if Sam's efficiency is because she dislikes being a weapon, and wants to get her jobs over with quickly? What if her mission in Penacony is Firefly's first chance to actually explore herself as "Firefly", without her scripts asking her to cause destruction? It's not like she's living a double life, more like she's still in the process of growing into her actual self. Maybe texting us stickers from Blade's phone was a baby step for her to experiment, since TB hadn't met Sam yet and she could be less serious, or maybe her armor's fingers have trouble typing, who even knows?? I think the "inconsistencies" in her behavior can be explained pretty easily once you realize she's still figuring herself out, y'know?
There's also tons of dialogue before and after her reveal that implies she's pretty familiar with combat, too. Her accurate description of Sampo is the obvious one (that man is NOT 5'9 though), but she also mentions that a baseball bat isn't an efficient weapon, and later in the story if you picked the Hanu trial for the auditions thing, she complains about not having her armor, brings up that it'll be hard for her to let go of the bazooka, and compares Hanu's rocket launcher to something called the "Soaring Locust II" (some kind of weapon attachment for her armor maybe?), so it's pretty clear that she's not a stranger to fighting. I don't think she's just some ordinary girl who picked up the mecha.
Finally, there's an inconsistency between her and Sam when talking about dreams. On the balcony, Firefly describes her dream about the scorched earth and the sapling, while Sam outright says he was "born without the ability to 'dream'." Thanks to her upcoming light cone, we've got an answer to this problem:

"Dreams remained too distant for her, as she gazed into the infinite darkness. Even as she sensed her consciousness slipping away, her mind replayed the same lingering memories over and over again..."

I think the simplest solution is that Firefly's 'dream' was a metaphor to explain her wish to the Trailblazer, like a visualization to help her and others understand those feelings. The light cone kinda implies she doesn't dream at all, instead she relives her memories from being in the Glamoth military. The rest of that paragraph goes on to describe a Swarm attack and her fellow Cavalryman dying around her without anybody to honor their sacrifice, which is a memory she'd only have if she fought alongside them.
So dreaming isn't an issue anymore, and her two personalities aren't mutually exclusive, and she wasn't talking to her armor in the hotel. But I hear you, none of that really proves she isn't Titania, right? Because at least the Empress has the same origin as the Iron Cavalry pilots... And that's a good point, but I've got evidence against it too.
According to Firefly's drip marketing, she was "Born as a weapon", and is "afflicted with the agony of Entropy Loss Syndrome due to genetic modification.", both of which line up perfectly with our understanding of the Cavalry pilots so far. One leaked relic says "Identical-looking warriors were birthed from the incubators", the rope says "the ruling council threw down the gauntlet and resolved to alter the essence of humanity", and even Firefly herself says "[Sam] is the cradle of my vitality, and the meaning of my birth." when asked about it in Dreamflux Reef. These statements only make sense if Firefly is one of these lab-grown humans, and literally born to pilot her armor.
If you're still not convinced, that line about Entropy Loss gives us another clue: since it's due to genetic modification, that means her "altered essence" is what causes it, so how exactly is she different from a regular human? Another leaked relic says "The armor deeply synchronized its sensory organs with that of the pilot", which is very weird phrasing until you remember that Welt told us Sam has superhuman perception after we got SW's message. That ability kinda contradicts everything Firefly said about her condition, so what if her genetic modifications are meant for that "synchronization"? Maybe it's supposed to increase combat effectiveness with some kind of symbiotic relationship between her and the armor? It definitely plays into more mecha anime tropes (NGE comes to mind), which she's already got a crazy amount of, and might even explain why she's naked while wearing her armor.
When she calls Sam the "cradle of [her] vitality", she means it's literally the only way she can guarantee her Entropy Loss won't flare up and cause her to dissociate. The armor keeps her grounded and conscious, even though it might be extremely painful to use it, given how Adin Rudd in the English dub almost seems to grunt out his lines, and how her kit and the boss' kit both include HP-draining mechanics. This is also why she appreciates the Dreamscape so much, as she told us in her secret balcony spot that she's able to "listen, and see, and touch, and think, and understand whatever I want with my body", as opposed to doing these things with Sam instead. Her cutscene with Blade suggests that it's not impossible for her to exit the armor, but I'm guessing she can't do this for long stretches of time, or that it comes with a risk of having her Entropy Loss worsen. The "icy medical cabin" she mentioned turned out to be Sam, after all.
This one's a bit more subjective, but I'll die on this hill so I might as well include it as a final argument. I honestly think her narrative themes benefit more if she's a regular Iron Cavalryman than if she's Titania. Her story is about an experimental soldier born to be a weapon, living only to kill bugs by the orders of a fake Empress she swore loyalty to, and never having a chance to experience life as a regular young girl. It's about recovering from war trauma, overcoming a medical condition and physical disability, and finally discovering an identity for herself instead of being defined by her use to other people. I'm so in love with this character concept, and while I plan to bankrupt myself over this girl no matter what direction Hoyo picks, I've got my fingers crossed that I'm right about her because it would be so amazing to see that story come to life about a character who stole my heart like this. ^w^
In conclusion? Firefly ≠ Titania, and I believe it's a more cohesive, impactful, and beautiful story if she's a soldier instead of an Empress.
Thank you for reading!
P.S. I'd love to hear anybody's thoughts in the comments, whether they agree with some of my points, or if they've got arguments of their own! Just remember to be civil, because at the end of the day we're all Firefly enjoyers and everybody's ideas are valid until we get more official information about her! :D