After being intentionally single for almost a year, I've noticed that I'm finding myself looking forward to settling down and building a solid foundation for a relationship. I went through a really rough breakup last Summer and it was a catalyst to doing the inner work and taking a deep dive into my core wounds. I've explored the root of past relationships not working out and have worked insanely hard on breaking patterns and truly loving myself. I'm not seeking anything out, and have found myself being excited for what the future brings. At this time last year, I was near the end of an incredibly toxic relationship that I thought was going to magically get better and end in all the things I wanted (marriage, kids, a home etc).
Now, I'm focused on establishing a career and have learned so much about myself. Thinking about meeting someone new isn't scary, and I don't fear the worst when thinking about dating. I know dating apps aren't the greatest lately, but the thought of being able to take my time meeting people and knowing what I want feels very freeing. I'm excited to trust myself to put myself out there when I'm ready, and knowing that there are other people out there who also want a committed relationship without idealizing the "perfect" person or being half in/half out makes me excited for what the future has in store. Accepting that I'm where I'm meant to be and that everything has turned out ok for me has been beautiful and I wanted to share that positivity with everyone and hear other's perspectives on the positive side of healing after heartbreak :)

(Apologies for the length)
So here is mine. I (37M) made the decision, earlier this year, to leave the company I co-founded a few years ago. I've since been re-prioritizing, working out and improving my health, eliminating stressors, and planning my next business moves (basically self-focus). Last Fall I reconnected with a close friend (32F) that I had lost most contact with for a few years.
We used to work together years before and became close quickly and easily. We were always naturally flirty and still are, and one day she opened up about her feelings for me to which I happily reciprocated. This is where the problems began. Reason being that years prior I had gone through about 3 subsequent relationships/situations that destroyed my trust and desire for being vulnerable romantically. I had just given up for the foreseeable future. This reveal from her occurred during this aftermath period and I was unable to process, comprehend, and alleviate doubts/fears appropriately, preventing me from communicating with her about it almost altogether. She persisted and was graciously cool about what I'm sure was confusing to her with my horrible communication abilities at the time. Eventually she moved on and we just remained friends, with her leaving for a new job not long after. She also entered a relationship with a mutual acquaintance soon after that (randomly, not because of our situation). She was happy and growing in her life and I found joy in that but my missteps haunted me since she moved on. I meant the reciprocation but knew then that I couldn't be what she deserved and refused to use her affection for my own happiness. I also knew that I owed her an explanation, as I couldn't stand for her to possibly think I found something wrong or undesirable about her, leading to my actions before. It just never felt appropriate to do while she was seeing someone.
FAST-FORWARD (Don't laugh too hard at that)...
After leaving the job myself and helping start a company and going my own direction, my feelings never waned off but I didn't dwell. Around 4-5 years had passed. I would see her randomly here and there, still in her relationship, and it was always nice. It was apparent she was excited by my presence and always made the effort to share a hug and some time talking. We have an incredibly solid friendship and banter base that will always be around. Despite that, the occasions she would be where I was became scarce and it was back to the usual. During the days leading up to my decision to leave the company, I just needed a trusted friend to talk to. I ran into a mutual friend of mine and hers and during the catch-up they mentioned they had hung out with her recently and that she had ended her relationship. Now, someone in my position would probably relish in that information. I'll admit I wasn't bummed by it. I realized, however, that I more just missed talking to her and felt I should reach out. So I did.
Now we are caught up (It annoys me as well)...
Since last Fall we have been catching up and bantering better than ever and it has been great. The natural flirtation and everything has been there but more in-line with where we are now in life. She had mentioned her breakup during the initial reconnect, but never mentioned anything further from her end nor inquired about my status. We just focused on the stellar conversation and regained contact. I knew my feelings never went anywhere and they just became more enhanced as we kept talking (only via text to this point). I knew the possibility that she was seeing someone else was there but didn't really care. I wasn't much to expect her to consider letting her guard down a second time with me, especially without having spoken about what happened before. After much thought, I made certain I was sure of how I was feeling about myself, her, and the situation and texted her about meeting up. She was very excited to do so and we set up a plan and ended up meeting recently. I was just purely excited to see her again in-person, but the obvious hopes and desires we as people have are always there. I knew part of me would be gauging it all to see where we both stand.
It was a fantastic meet up but she did mention her breakup quite early on and also that she was dating someone currently. It did NOT hit me like bricks or whatever saying applies. It wasn't great to hear for that part of me that was hoping, but I knew it could be a thing going in. The real impact was the reevaluation of much of the previous conversations we had made, with before having no knowledge of her dating someone during so. It never got out of hand, just that natural flirtation and sharing of trusted information that can seem to have dual tonality to them. You just never know until you know. The evening carried on and we kept bonding really well and having a great time as friends (the tone it needed to take). I'll mention that this person is an amazing, generous, loyal, independent, and confident individual that overcame a lot of insecurities in life (like so many of us do or hope to do), and has incredible integrity. She would not intentionally disrespect the person she is dating. One of her many admirable qualities. We continued catching up and relocated to grab a bite to eat. During this portion we bonded on more things and I was finally honest with myself internally that I can't fight the fact that I do, in fact, love this person and it made me excited. I knew though that I had to now have that conversation about what happened in the past, which was long overdue and needed to happen before anything else could be broached.
I promise I'm going to wrap this up (I appreciate your patience if you got this far)...
It was now nighttime and a reasonable time to part ways. I knew my chance was now or never so I inquired if we could park for a second and chat. We did and I just went into it in the best way I could that respected her current situation (I feel too strongly and respect her too much to let my feelings disregard her boundaries). She listened and received it like a total boss, which is no surprise. Luckily it hadn't impacted her too poorly and the new knowledge alleviated any doubt she may have had about herself. I didn't really expect her to even remember it all anyhow. I just had to know she knew what happened and where I stood/stand. Human nature being what it is, I toed the line a few times with my words but I always made sure she knew I meant all due respect and meant it. Some things just build too much pressure when you hold on the them and they eventually get released. She was very reassuring that I was behaving and even revealed new information from her side of it back then and now. She allowed me to express everything I was able to within the boundaries present and was very kind about it. Obviously I had now revealed that I still maintained feelings for her amidst it all. I am not a pro on the subject of attraction, but I'm not an idiot either. The eyes and mouth can speak volumes, and I saw what I'm sure I subconsciously wanted to see. I knew I would run risk of breaching her trust if I persisted too far and I was feeling bad about keeping her out as late as it was, so I asked if I could make a couple inquiries that were appropriately worded. She agreed and I asked if after my idiocy back in the day when she approached me, was that where her feelings for me had stopped. She quickly and softly whispered "No.". I took that in and decided to ask, hypothetically, that if she had no attachments and I were to approach her, would I receive a half-way positive response. She had a slight pause and said "More than half-way.". Despite a heavy desire to explore further, I knew I shouldn't and by happenstance she got a phone call right after this. She said she needed to take it and it was her dad. I stepped out of the car but doing so I happened to notice the name on the dash screen (we had taken her car the the restaurant). I don't know her father personally or know his exact name, but it wasn't the one on the screen. I didn't and likely won't read into that too much, but thought I'd share it in here. Anyway, she handled the call quickly and got out to hug and say our goodbyes. We shared a long hug and exchanged thank yous and then found the opportunity to enact a fake threat of a gentle kidney goosing from some flirty banter a few days prior. She enjoyed it. We then parted ways asking each other to inform of their safe arrival home. Which we did.
So there you have it. Obviously there are many ways to dissect something like this. I feel we both behaved rather well even though I feel a bit of guilt and hope I haven't caused her any undue problems, as she is in a great place in life (mainly because of her personal and professional growth, not necessarily the dating). I also don't regret unburdening myself the way I did. I think we both deserved it for different reasons.
I suppose I'm just curious of your thoughts on it all. I'm doing alright after it all but know the dynamic is different now. She is likely juggling a thought or two just like I am, but we still talk as friends. She is content where she is but I could tell that, if perhaps the timing was different, we wouldn't hesitate to get together. I hold excitement at the thought but will not wait on chance. She is walking her path and me my own. Those paths may indeed converge one day, but her friendship is something I won't gamble away nor would she to mine. It also may never happen. These are the realities.
Thoughts/anybody else out there?
Thank you for your indulgence.

I feel like I’m not in a place where I should be dating, and should focus on healing and making friends for now. There’s is no way I can handle a health relationship right now.
But the problem is I have a really high sex drive. So I keep ending up in casual flings even though this is not a good idea on many levels at the moment. I’ve not had it in a month, and can’t even think straight. How have others handled this in a healthy way?
I was married to a man, but poly for the last five years. Didn’t enjoy sex with him. But between him and the woman I was dating, there was a lot of sex! So this is quite a change now that I’m single and not pursuing relationships right now

So, I am being asked to create a micro front end with nextjs. I am familiar with nextjs and understand it is a single page framework of reactjs. It makes routing easy and builds things out from the get go. Similar to how Angular is.
However, I am finding very little information out there on how to make nextjs work as a micro front end.
I see a lot of people saying to do something called modular federation, but then the tutorials claiming to do this do not work or are out of date.
It seems you can do something with a webpack to make the different apps work with each other. But there is very little information on how to do this.
Does anyone have any modern up to date tutorials or documentation explaining simply how to do this?
Also, is nextjs even made to do this? I guess I fail to see the advantage of using nextjs as a micro front end design instead of keeping the entire app under one repo and just building out different pages on different routes and having a components folder shared between the different pages.
Can anyone answer where I can find a modern tutorial on how to do this with webpack and also answer if nextjs is even made to do this? Thanks.

Hi everyone, im telling this story more so to vent, and not because I don’t know what to do, im done with him.
I dated this man for 6 weeks (thank god not longer) we were together so much, (so I would’ve never guessed) and when we weren’t together he was calling and texting me. While the s3X was amazing he always brought up feelings, commitment, etc to me and we were together days at a time. Even said he wants a son and sees me having a boy someday, etc. just always painting the picture that he wants and sees us in a long term commitment and his actions were showing it (may have been moving a bit fast for my liking which can be a red flag, but you get the point here) I’ve been single for awhile before he came along and I’ve been doing a lot of self work and healing, and everyone around me was congratulating me because he is a successful older man that makes good money and he was treating me great. Guess what?
Long story short: he went on vacation with his girlfriend, (they’re still on vacation, the come back in a day or two) i guess he went through his phone, and she contacted me and we clarified some info on instagram DMs and I found out they’ve been dating for 1.5 years or so. She’s older as well and was really nice. She said she’s done with him as she’s never caught him doing this before, but now she’s posting stuff on her insta story to make it seem like they’re happy, then he’ll post stuff on his social media of the trip, but has nothing to do with her, and I don’t know how she can stomach what he did to her? Maybe she’s playing it off til the trip is over, but it’s just strange to me. I on the other hand didn’t say anything to him and blocked him. The worst part of it all, is I know he’s going to try and come back to me on some bs! I know what type of man he is, and I dodged a bullet!

Royals @ Mariners - Mon, May 13

Game Status: Game Over - Score: 6-2 Mariners

Links & Info

• MLB Gameday
• Game Graphs
• Savant Gamefeed

	Royals Batters	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	K	LOB	AVG	OBP	SLG
1	Garcia, M - 3B	4	0	1	0	0	1	1	.238	.289	.372
2	Witt Jr. - SS	4	1	1	0	0	0	1	.304	.369	.518
3	Pasquantino - 1B	3	1	1	0	0	1	0	.250	.333	.443
4	Perez, S - C	3	0	0	0	0	1	2	.322	.384	.544
5	Massey - 2B	4	0	1	2	0	2	3	.247	.250	.425
6	Velázquez - RF	4	0	1	0	0	1	4	.226	.294	.339
7	Melendez - LF	4	0	0	0	0	1	2	.187	.242	.366
8	Frazier - DH	4	0	0	0	0	2	2	.179	.296	.238
9	Blanco - CF	3	0	1	0	0	1	2	.293	.356	.439
	Totals	33	2	6	2	0	10	17

Royals
BATTING: 2B: Massey (4, Stanek). TB: Blanco; Garcia, M; Massey 2; Pasquantino; Velázquez; Witt Jr. RBI: Massey 2 (16). 2-out RBI: Massey 2. Runners left in scoring position, 2 out: Velázquez 3; Blanco; Garcia, M. Team RISP: 1-for-9. Team LOB: 7.

	Mariners Batters	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	K	LOB	AVG	OBP	SLG
1	Rojas, J - 2B	4	0	1	0	0	1	2	.343	.405	.505
2	Rodríguez, J - CF	4	1	1	0	0	1	1	.255	.309	.321
3	Polanco - 2B	2	1	1	0	1	1	0	.192	.298	.308
	Urías, L - 3B	1	0	0	0	0	1	0	.172	.304	.379
4	Raleigh - C	4	1	2	1	0	0	2	.224	.310	.480
5	Haniger - RF	4	0	0	0	0	1	3	.197	.258	.338
6	Raley, L - LF	4	2	3	3	0	1	0	.266	.310	.392
7	Garver - DH	4	0	0	0	0	3	3	.174	.287	.347
8	France, T - 1B	4	1	2	2	0	1	2	.243	.297	.353
9	Moore, D - SS	4	0	1	0	0	0	0	.223	.318	.415
	Totals	35	6	11	6	1	10	13

Mariners
BATTING: 2B: Raleigh (2, Singer); Moore, D (5, Singer). HR: Raley, L (2, 2nd inning off Singer, 1 on, 1 out); France, T (3, 8th inning off Stratton, C, 1 on, 2 out). TB: France, T 5; Moore, D 2; Polanco; Raleigh 3; Raley, L 6; Rodríguez, J; Rojas, J. RBI: France, T 2 (13); Raleigh (24); Raley, L 3 (9). 2-out RBI: France, T 2. Runners left in scoring position, 2 out: Rojas, J 2; France, T; Raleigh. Team RISP: 4-for-10. Team LOB: 6.
FIELDING: E: Raleigh (3, catcher interference); Urías, L (3, fielding).

Royals Pitchers	IP	H	R	ER	BB	K	HR	P-S	ERA
Singer (L, 3-2)	5.0	9	4	4	1	6	1	108-69	2.84
Duffey	1.0	0	0	0	0	1	0	11-9	3.52
Zerpa	1.0	0	0	0	0	2	0	16-9	1.59
Stratton, C	1.0	2	2	2	0	1	1	22-14	5.60
Totals	8.0	11	6	6	1	10	2

Mariners Pitchers	IP	H	R	ER	BB	K	HR	P-S	ERA
Kirby (W, 4-3)	7.0	3	0	0	0	6	0	101-68	3.58
Stanek	0.2	3	2	2	0	1	0	15-12	4.73
Muñoz, A (S, 6)	1.1	0	0	0	0	3	0	17-11	1.62
Totals	9.0	6	2	2	0	10	0

Game Info
HBP: Pasquantino (by Kirby); Perez, S (by Kirby).
Pitches-strikes: Singer 108-69; Duffey 11-9; Zerpa 16-9; Stratton, C 22-14; Kirby 101-68; Stanek 15-12; Muñoz, A 17-11.
Groundouts-flyouts: Singer 2-4; Duffey 1-1; Zerpa 0-1; Stratton, C 0-1; Kirby 6-5; Stanek 1-0; Muñoz, A 0-1.
Batters faced: Singer 25; Duffey 3; Zerpa 3; Stratton, C 5; Kirby 27; Stanek 5; Muñoz, A 4.
Inherited runners-scored: Muñoz, A 1-0.
Umpires: HP: Sean Barber. 1B: Edwin Jimenez. 2B: Jim Wolf. 3B: Ryan Blakney.
Weather: 61 degrees, Cloudy.
Wind: 1 mph, Calm.
First pitch: 6:41 PM.
T: 2:32.
Att: 14,984.
Venue: T-Mobile Park.
May 13, 2024

Inning	Scoring Play	Score
Bottom 2	Luke Raley homers (2) on a fly ball to center field. Cal Raleigh scores.	2-0 SEA
Bottom 3	Cal Raleigh singles on a sharp fly ball to center fielder Dairon Blanco. Julio Rodríguez scores. Jorge Polanco to 2nd.	3-0 SEA
Bottom 3	Luke Raley singles on a ground ball to right fielder Nelson Velázquez. Jorge Polanco scores. Cal Raleigh to 2nd.	4-0 SEA
Top 8	Michael Massey doubles (4) on a line drive to center fielder Julio Rodríguez. Bobby Witt Jr. scores. Vinnie Pasquantino scores.	4-2 SEA
Bottom 8	Ty France homers (3) on a fly ball to left field. Luke Raley scores.	6-2 SEA

Team	Highlight
SEA	Luke Raley's two-run homer (2) (00:00:23)
SEA	Cal Raleigh's RBI single (00:00:26)
SEA	Luke Raley's RBI single (00:00:20)
SEA	Jorge Polanco nabs Dairon Blanco after review (00:00:45)
KC	Brady Singer K's six (00:01:28)
KC	Maikel Garcia nabs Ty France after review (00:00:59)
SEA	George Kirby K's six (00:01:37)
KC	Michael Massey's two-run double (00:00:26)
SEA	Ty France's two-run homer (3) (00:00:23)
SEA	Andrés Muñoz secures win (00:00:05)

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9		R	H	E	LOB
Royals	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	2	0		2	6	0	7
Mariners	0	2	2	0	0	0	0	2			6	11	2	6

Decisions

• Winner: George Kirby (4-3, 3.58)
• Loser: Brady Singer (3-2, 2.84)
• Save: Andrés Muñoz (6, 1.62)

Division Scoreboard

MIA 5 @ DET 6 - Final
CLE 7 @ TEX 0 - Final
WSH 0 @ CWS 0 - Postponed
Next Royals Game: Tue, May 14, 08:40 PM CDT @ Mariners
^{Last Updated: 05/13/2024 11:20:18 PM CDT}

Hi! Ok this is a random topic but I’ve run into this a bit and want to see if anyone else has experienced this recently- I’ve been single for about a year now and have done on more than a handful of dates. Over this year of dating, I’ve noticed most men I’ve encountered either: quit their job, want to quit their job and live in a van or have no career goals / drive whatsoever.
I’m not a gold digger. I’m not obsessing with the job of the man I’m dating. I’m just noticing pattern here - these are guys ages 27-37. Is this is a new thing with men? Has anyone else been experiencing this?

So, this has been going on for 5 years and I'm reaching the point of explosion!!!!!
I'm (35) married to my husband (55)
He has a son (22) who has just gotten married to his wife (20). His son is a narcissist and has been that way since the day I met him. He is very talented at a number of things (motocross, golf, etc.) And he is a hard worker. By all outward appearances he's a good person and can be very kind at times.
The issue is that he is very spoiled and has always been given the best of the best. ($1,200 phones, $7,000 dirtbikes, the nicest clothes and shoes and blah blah blah)
His mother is loaded and buys him cars, clothes, coach backpacks, $400 shoes for no reason, spends $2,000+ on his birthdays and Christmases and just bows down to his every want and need
I was raised with the power getting shut off every 3 months bc my single mother struggled to keep the lights on. I shopped (and still shop) at thrift stores and I've NEVER cared about having flashy expensive THINGS. There is more to life than stuff.
Anyway... his son will always say things like "where did you get that shirt? Wish?" He will pick on me about my hobbies. Pretty much saying the things I enjoy doing are lame.
If I started talking about politics or any kind of REAL issues going on in the world he would dismiss what I'm saying and say that I'm a conspiracy theorist (meanwhile, his world revolves around tic-tok and video games)
After he got married things have gotten much worse. Keep in mind, his wife is 20 and I'm 35.
He will compare how she looks to how I look. We went on a boat trip and she wore a bathing suit while I wore shorts and a tank top. I'm not fat by any means, but I would LOVE to lose around 15lbs and have the flat little tummy I once did.
His wife is 4 inches taller than me and has huge boobs and a completely different body style. I never once compared myself to her or envied her in any way, but he will say things to me like "how much do weigh?" And then ask her how much she weighs...and then say "how do you guys look so different when your only 5-10lbs difference" he makes me so self conscious and insecure comparing me to someone who is 15 years younger than me FOR NO REASON EXCEPT TO HURT ME.
She says things to me too.
We were playing pickle ball today. First time I ever played and I was doing so-so
My team was behind and she hollered out to my team mate "do you want me to come out there and take her place" (talking about me)
If I try to have a discussion with her about anything she will find some way to argue with Mr and tell me I'm wrong and it's impossible to have any kind of real diologue with her UNLESS IT IS ABOUT HER AND HER INTERESTS
It gets worse
Me and my husband have a 4 year old daughter who was born with a cleft pallette in the roof of her mouth and she's had surgeries and is taking speech therapy and is doing great
Well, my stepson and his wife just had a baby (5 months)
My stepson (in front of like 6 people/family members) said to me "our son is perfect, what's the matter, why can't you have a perfect baby too"? THAT IS HIS FUKKIN SISTER!!!!!
I race motocross with them every weekend. It's my husband's son/family and we see them often
LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE TIME WE SEE THEM ONE (OR BOTH) SAY SOMETHING CRUEL TO ME.
I'm a very encouraging person. My stepsons wife gained a lot of weight after her pregnancy and when she started losing the weight I'd tell her "you look so pretty today" or "you look great"
I have TRIED to lead by example and treat them how I want to me treated.
They NEVER tell me "good job" or say anything nice/positive to me. They feed off of hurting and picking on other people to make themselves feel better. They talk shut constantly and I'm nothing like that and don't want to be.
I smile and pretend things dont hurt me so that I don't rock the boat. I don't stand up for myself and don't even know how to.
Normally when I'm around toxic people like this I avoid them and cut them out of my life, but I'm at a loss for ideas and don't know how to move forward.
Any advice or encouragement would be most welcome. I've talked to my husband but he doesn't know how to handle it and doesn't want to talk to his son because his son picks on him too and my husband doesn't seem to care. I don't think he understands why I am so hurt/upset by it in the first place.
Mt husband always says "he was just joking" or "he didn't mean it"....THE GASLIGHTING IS UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!
Thanks for letting me vent. God bless you all.

Hey guys, semi-lurker here. I’ve been in CHS for almost 5 years and single for almost 75% of it. My biggest question is how is anyone meeting/dating in this place?!
Background 34M, I’ve been sober for over a year so needless to say the bar scene is not for me, I’ve tried clubs, my gym, meetup, dating apps etc and I’m really struggling to fit in here but due to my career I can’t relocate yet, so I’m trying to make the best of this, but I’m slowly beginning to go insane from the loneliness. Anything?
PS I can’t afford a boat.

Platforms: Game Boy Advanced/DS/DSi
Genre: Action, sidescroller, robot/mech/creature(?)
Estimated year of release: 2006-2012 (roughly)
Graphics/art style: 2D/pixelated side scroller. Very grey besides main character. The closest game style I can think of is Mega Man ZX in character size and pixel style, but the character's designs themselves don't look similar. The game felt made for an older audience, as in not a game like Kid Chameleon that has a "cuter" artstyle? Kind of hard to explain but it didn't have that kind of look to it
Screenshot from Mega Man ZX. Very similar looking but the main character from my game isn't as vibrant and the background was much flatter and less dynamic
Notable characters: a main character (almost positive NOT a human or not seeable as one) that has possibly three forms that changes I believe through item pickup maybe? One form that was slimmer in design had a whip/tendril for going over obstacles, another one was clunkier and more square, can't remember the rest (I at least believe there were three). I swear the colors were like light pink, green, and possibly blue? A game called Metal Mutant has a VERY similar character function as to how I remember the character in my game, I had to check and see if there was another in the series on handheld because it fits really close to my description. If Metal Mutant looked a lot more like Mega Man ZX in scale and sprite size and released past 2006 it would be the game I'm thinking of which is very confusing
Character from Metal Mutant. Besides the Dino variation, the other two are incredibly similar to my memory of the character from my game
Notable gameplay mechanics: Character that changes between different types depending on needed situation, such as a whip for obstacles, or a tankier body for needed defense. I can't remember a single enemy which is annoying, but I still believe it was somewhat of an action game like the Mega Man series (don't think its that franchise tho, not from what I could find)
Other details (IMPORTANT): Is not these previously guessed titles: A Boy and his Blob / Metal Mutant (VERY similar tho) / Castlevania III / Monster Tale DS / Shantae series / Kid Chameleon / Gunstar Super Heroes / Robots for GBA / Mega Man ZX or Advent / Act-Fancer: Cybernetick Hyper Weapon
This is game is so fuzzy in my memory and has always been one I've wanted to remember but just can't rack my brain on it man. I can't remember which platform I had it on specifically but it was a handheld Nintendo game for sure. I don't remember either whether the main character was a creature or a robot, just that it would change in design and function between possibly three different iterations. The game was very grey in level design (at least from the chunk I can remember) but the character was always a specific base color possibly along with a meter for the current form

I have been connected to a program that provides single parents with counsel. Should I ask that my custody court case tomorrow be rescheduled as I obtain counsel or just deal with tomorrow and then get counsel for the next court date? I’m not even sure how I would go about doing any of this either. Like how I would ask for a continuation as I get a lawyer or if that’s even possible. What can you suggest?
ETA: I’m in California

TW
Hello, F28 & 220 lbs.
Im just here to vent, because I know what I'm supposed to do.
I've been a single mom for 2 months now and I've gone through so many emotions. My binge eating is back and I fully believe I have a heavy addicition to junk food.
Emotional esting has been my go to and it is also affecting me financially.
Right after my break up I started seeking validation from men through dating apps. I even reached out to an old MARRIED fling (i know, not okay).
There are days were I feel empowered and beautiful and desired.. and then there are other days where I cant bare to look at my naked body.
I hate the way I look, I hate not being the ideal girl for men, I hate that I seek that validation.
Ive seen recent pictures of myself, taken by others.. full body.. and I hate it. In my head I'm so much smaller than what I actually look. Im fooling myself with the idea that I'm "not that bad" when I am in fact that bad.
My belly, which carried my 2yo, is an apron belly and I hate the way it looks. I know it held my child and kept him safe, but gosh.. I never knew it was going to end up this bad.
Lately I only feel joy when I eat my junk food, it comforts me, fills a void, makes me forget. Like.. I sound like a junky.
Ive been thinking of going to a doctor and ask for ozempic, or this balloon thing they blow up in your stomach, or just fucking ways to lose the weight fast and forget the current me.
Fuck.. being fat is trully not easy.
Sending hugs to you reader, if you got to the end ♥️

Ok so I work as a floor supervisor in food service, and the place is owned by a less than reliable company who tends to be pretty heavy-handed on firing people for really small offenses.
I think I’m very good and respected at my work, I get along amazingly with all my coworkers, and I never received a single customer complaint, nor a formal warning for anything I’ve done. I always show up on time, I never call in sick, and I’m generally very keen on doing overtime and taking others shifts.
There’s a new manager hired (last week) who’s particularly incompetent at their job, and requires impossible things from the floor staff. Today I got in a bit of a scuffle with them because they were requiring something that was literally impossible for me to do at that very moment, that wasn’t crucial to the continuation of service, and that would put me in an awkward position with my clients due to longer wait times.
Even though I’m usually very passive and complacent, I refused the instruction, and asked them to stop following me around and telling me how to do my job. I’m very qualified to do my job, and know exactly what has to be done at what timing, but they kept disturbing my service and ordering me around.
I received my first formal warning ever, and it stated that I refused to comply to instructions, and that I was insubordinate. I refused to sign the warning as I really didn’t think it was fair and didn’t want to be associated with the things they were accusing me off.
Instead of trying to have a conversation with me, the new manager left and got back home without saying goodbye to anyone.
I learn just now that they were hired by a higher corporate manager on a duty of cutting down costs. I’m the 2nd highest paid employee, and I know how fast corporate is quick to fire people, since it happened a lot of times.
The entirety of staff, and even the other co-manager, are on my side, and think the warning was deeply unfair.
I want to know if there are any Canadian work laws that could help me out in the eventuality of an unfair firing. I want to be as prepared as possible and know my rights if I’m ever to get fired, since it usually happens in matters of hours/days after an incident.
Help me out please, until literally last week, I loved and worshipped this job, and I’m a very important and needed part of my team.
Thank you 💓

I've seen many people talk about how only top 10k is high ladder and virtually anything else is mid or low ladder. I think this needs to stop. Clash royale is a game with 600 MILLION downloads, and still retains millions of active players a month. So, we are essentially claiming, that only 10k players out of millions are truly decent and everyone is just a mid ladder noob? Even if we assumed Clash Royale had 1 million active monthly players (which is actually closer to it's daily amount), that would mean 99% of players are mi ladder and 1% of players are not mid ladder. Just as a reference, in the US, top 1% holds 6 million dollars in net worth. Using top 1% as a metric is a horrible representation of the general population.
Like sure, Mega knight is a "Midlander menace". But if mid ladder is 99% of the population, then it's just a menace overall. A "mid ladder ass deck" is just a normal deck, the idea of "get out of mid ladder already and you'll stop fighting it" is an unrealistic achievement for most people, after all, EVERYONE can't get top 10k finishes.
The main issue I have with these distinctions is just how arbitrary it is. We don't set our standards in the real world to the people who have closer to seven than six figures in the bank account and make fun of everyone else who isn't in the top 1%. Clash Royale balancing needs to also be based on "mid ladder" too, because that's basically where the entire player base is. Yes, I think mega knight/fc should be nerfed/reworked. That's not because it's broken in top 1% gameplay, but because it's so broken/repetitive in the general game. Killing a card is better than killing a player's happiness, and these cards don't even need to be killed to change their position in the game. We should reach a point where cards available for high ladder players and mid ladder players are balanced for each range, but just as some cards like wizard are useless in high ladder, some cards than are generally more used in high ladder can be useless in mid ladder, maintaining a balance where nothing is extremely broken in either range. Mid ladder players shouldn't have to suffer through mega knight/fc every single game just so high ladder players might be able to use it without it being useless to them.
But most importantly, I think the entire idea of mid ladder is ridiculous, because the distinction is way too selective. If something is "mid", it should represent a good interval in the bell curve, not the entire curve with perhaps a dip of it being defined as something else.

There was doubt whether or not I would graduate high school (because I would skip classes due to anxiety and PTSD), but I passed my first year of college with flying colors AND I didn’t skip a single class the entire school year. I also won an award in my college’s student art exhibit this year. I made a lot of friends this year who have been positive influences in my life. It turns out I’m actually an extrovert; I recharge with social interaction, but everyone always assumed I was an introvert because I isolated myself.
I feel like I’m finally getting better. I feel like I’m reclaiming my life after mental illness has controlled it for so long (about 7 years). I feel like myself again. While I acknowledge that without my struggles, I would not have grown into the person I am, I feel like I’ve become a happier version of myself and it feels natural, like it’s who I am without mental illness. For years, I thought mental illness was part of who I was. I didn’t think I could be separate from it. While I still have my bad days, I have been experiencing a lot less of them. Life isn’t perfect… in fact, there’s a lot of things I could be upset about right now. However, I’ve learned how to cope, and despite everything that is going on, I feel like I can live a happy life.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating about a month but have been talking 2 months. We live a hr apart and have had sex probably 10 times. Well this week, we was talking about how bad we wanted eachother so I said I would drive to see her within the next day or 2. Well the night I was going to go see her she kinda disappeared at like 6 p.m and didn't reply back till like 4 a.m. she says she was asleep which she very well could've been but she's usually good about communicating and replying and so I believed her seeing she's never gave me a reason not to believe her. So i said it's fine, we can just reschedule for the next day which she replied that we would have to wait a few days cause she's on her time of the month then she added but it will only last a few days though. Which she may have short periods, I just had a weird gut feeling from the way she said it and stuff. Fast fwd to 3 days later and she seemed to be acting weird like short responses or like she wasnt interested, then dissappeard again. Well the next night we're at her house and went to hookup and I went to go down on her and she stopped me (I've gone down on her first every single time before we have sex) but this time she awkwardly stopped me and said she just wanted my dick. (Which was a first too) Well right as we started, I noticed she was really really wet and there was a overwhelming condom/sex smell. Well we went to switch positions and just from grabbing my d to put it back, i had a slime consistent like cum all over my hand. Well when got off me from being on top, I had this slime shit all over my d and balls and even on my leg and groin. I asked her wtf and she said it's cause she was really excited to see me... well this was the first time out of 10 times it's ever been like that. And the smell was unmistakable. Plus after we were done I was laying there and keep getting a hint of cologne from her blankets or pillow. I recognize the smell cause years ago I had a small bottle of it. Well I asked why do I keep getting a hint of cologne to which she replied she doesn't wear any perfume. Idk. I could be tripping and maybe she isn't lying but I just have a bad gut feeling. What should I do? Or what can I do? I really like this girl... thanks

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/AdhesivenessMurky204
Originally posted to AITAH
AITAH for separating from my husband because he refused to get a vasectomy?
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Editor’s Note: added paragraph breaks for readability
Trigger Warnings: PTSD, mentions of abortion, domestic abuse, verbal abuse, sexual assault, rape
Original Post: April 28, 2024
My husband (28M, who I will call Jack) and I (27F) have been together for 4 years, we have 2 young children and I am pregnant again. I have been pregnant for what feels like most of our relationship. I got pregnant 4 months into our relationship. We got married a month before our daughter’s 1st birthday and ended up with a honeymoon baby. After our son was born, I talked to my OB and she put me on birth control and I have been taking it militantly.
My daughter is now 3 and my son is 2. A little over a month ago I discovered I am pregnant again, despite taking my birth control religiously. Abortion is banned in my state, and the pregnancy was discovered too far along to attempt to obtain one out of state. While Jack and I were nervous, we also love being parents and decided that 3 young kids would be a challenge, but 3 was a good number for us. Then we went in for the first ultrasound and got some unexpected news - it’s twins.
Things have been tough financially, and while we were stressed but excited for a third child, we were not expecting a third and fourth child. Beyond the finances, I am the primary caretaker and I know that twins is going to be a lot, three children under 5 is already a lot, but 4 children under 5 is going to be really really difficult for me. Physically, I am tired of being pregnant. I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding the majority of our relationship. It’s exhausting, it feels awful, and I don’t recognize my body anymore.
Four children is enough. I don’t want more. I told Jack that I was done with pregnancy, I’ve been pregnant enough, I’ve been experimenting with different types of birth control for over a decade and I still can’t stop getting pregnant, abortion isn’t a valid option where we live, we need something more permanent. He agreed, and suggested an IUD, I told him no - if it did fail then it could cause an ectopic pregnancy which could kill me, especially where we live. I’ve had both control fail me multiple times already and I’m not taking the chance, so I suggested a vasectomy. He was not open to the idea, and was even upset that I suggested it and told me I should get my tubes tied. I told him a tubal ligation is a much bigger surgery and I could be recovering for weeks during which time I wouldn’t be able to work or take care of our 4 young children, but he could ice his balls for a day or two and be done with it. He told me that not getting pregnant was ultimately my responsibility, and topped it off by saying “that’s what your body your choice means, YOUR body, so YOU choose.” That’s when it went from a discussion to a full blown fight.
See, when I was 19 I had another birth control failure with my boyfriend at the time (who I will call Tom). I wanted an abortion, Tom did not because he was opposed. I told him I was getting the abortion since it was my body and my choice, and Tom said some horrible things to me, including threatening me. I broke up with him and got the abortion. In response, Tom ended up following me one night and attacking me. I don’t want to go into detail but it was horrible, and he ended up going to prison for a number of charges related to the attack. Not only do I have a number of scars and some long lasting physical effects, but I have PTSD as well.
Jack knows about my history and diagnosis, and has known from the beginning. I have a pretty prominent facial scar so I was upfront about it early on in our dating. Jack always presented himself as very pro-choice, so I was shocked that he would say that. I got really emotional and started crying and shouting, and it turned into a full-blown fight.
Eventually I said that birth control is a two-way street and so far I’ve been the only one managing it and he said “and now we have 2 kids and 2 more coming, great job.” I told him he sounded like Tom and he got super pissed, basically said how dare you compare me to him, and maybe he might want kids one day with someone who doesn’t compare him to her felon ex-boyfriend. I was stunned and horrified. I said “well then let’s not waste any fucking time,”then packed up myself and the kids and drove to my parents place.
It’s been about a week since the fight. I’ve spoken with Jack a few times and he has since apologized and said he was out of line and was speaking from a place of anxiety after finding out about the twins, but also that I said things that were out of line and it was wrong of me to insist he undergo a medical procedure. He said that can move on from the things I said and that he wants to see his children and be a family again. I told him no, that I didn’t want to “move on” from the things he said to me. I can’t just get over that and I think we need space apart. Jack was upset by this and while we talked I brought up getting a separation agreement to manage custody and finances while we figure things out. He did not like this suggestion, said we didn’t need to pull the courts into this.
I haven’t told a lot of people about what’s happening but my family and a couple close friends. My sister and best friend both think I should throw the whole man away, but my brother (who is the only other one married with kids) thinks that I’m being extreme for what sums up to a fight between two scared people who both said nasty things. My mom is trying to be supportive but is occasionally reminding me that I “don’t want to be a single mother of 4” and telling me not to let my PTSD drive my decisions, while my dad is being completely unhelpful (he thinks jokes are helpful - like calling me Doorknob because I “can’t stop getting knocked up”, telling me to let the oven cool down, real knee-slappers). I don’t know what to do. My kids are happy to be at grandma and grandpas house but they miss their daddy, I’m 4 months pregnant and already uncomfortable as hell, I wish I could go back to being a happy little family but I’m so hung up on the things he said in that fight. Am I destroying my family over one bad night? Am I being unreasonable for asking my husband to get a vasectomy?
Edit: I've noticed a lot of people recommending condoms. I have gotten pregnant with condoms twice. Our second child and my first pregnancy were both conceived using condoms properly (correct fit, put on correctly, single use, not expired, no breaks, etc). I do not trust condoms enough to not fail a third time. I know the failure rate is supposedly small, but it's not personally small enough for me. Edit to the edit: I'm sorry, I didn't expect so many comments so fast and I can't keep up with them. By the first pregnancy I mean the pregnancy with Tom. With Jack I was on the patch when I got pregnant with our daughter, condoms with our son, and the pill with the twins. So far I haven't ever suspected that Jack has tampered with our birth control and always presumed that I'm a fertile Myrtle.
I recognize the comments and just want people to know I'm seeing the suggestion. I'm not dismissing it, but the thought of it is deeply upsetting and has provoked a lot of anxiety. I just wanted to make it clear that if the suggestion is only based on the condoms, that the condom pregnancies were with two different partners. While I know I always used condoms properly with Tom, I do believe that Tom could have been fully capable of sabotaging the condoms.
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP received mixed reactions of NTAs and YTAs
Relevant Comments
deepsleepsheepmeep: NTA. Your husband is though. Your body has already been through A LOT. A tubal ligation is a serious surgery and you are right about being out of commission for a while when recovering. If he is more concerned with an imaginary future wife than he is for you, I don’t think there is much hope for this marriage.
We have 4 close friends who all got vasectomies. None of them bitched about it like your wimp of a husband. We actually had fun vasectomy themed parties for them.
On the off chance he does end up getting a vasectomy, make sure to do the follow up appointments. One of the vasectomy fab 4 did not follow through and ended up with a post-vasectomy baby.

OOP: Thank you, I feel like this is a lot of what has been so upsetting has been that he's thinking about some imaginary future wife when I'm right here, his actual wife, the mother of his children. It's like he's already imagining a future without me.

 
Update: AITAH for separating from my husband because he refused to get a vasectomy?: May 3, 2024
I didn’t expect so many comments and literally couldn’t go through them all. It seemed like the majority of people said I was NTA but I did get a lot of YTAs telling me I was trying to force him to get a medical procedure and telling me to get one instead. Besides already addressing my reasonings why I made my request in the original post (which I want you to read with real "per my last email" energy), I in no way am *forcing* him to have a medical procedure, but I am saying that I do not want to be with a partner who is not willing to be snipped. This is an issue of compatibility. The number of children you want, the methods of birth control you’re willing to use, those are issues of compatibility and a reason relationships end all the time. If he doesn’t want to be sterilized that’s fine, but then that means that we’re not compatible anymore, since it means he wants more children and I don’t. Beyond that there were some YTA comments and some DMs that were just nasty, calling me a murderer and saying my body is a cemetery. Sadly enough, I expected those types of comments, because I know there are a lot of Toms out in the world.
First I wanted to address a couple things that kept coming up, because last post turned into thousands of comments that all said about 5 different things, so to avoid my inbox becoming another echo chamber:

You’re 100% going to have a C-section anyway so just get a tubal while giving birth.

No, I’m not 100% going to have a C-section anyway. Twins are not an automatic C-section. With my birth history there is no reason to presume that a C-section is in my future. My OB agrees, and has discussed the possibility as doctors have to do but also said that based on my past two birth experiences, I'm a "perfect candidate" for vaginal delivery.
I also am not going to mince words: tubal ligations are *less* effective than vasectomies with a *much higher* likelihood of an ectopic pregnancy. Ectopic pregnancy can *kill me*. In fact I got a PM from a woman who is a fellow fertile Myrtle who had an ectopic after a tubal. I am rejecting birth control options that, if they fail, would lead to my likely death. I don’t want to be pregnant again but I also don’t want to die and leave my children motherless, and in no way should anyone assume that traveling to another state to obtain an emergency abortion will continue to be an option in the future - we live in scary times, and Gilead is a real possibility. The comments seemed to have the vibe that people think that ligations are magically more effective than vasectomies and vasectomies are more of a whisper of sterility than an actual sterilization method so for those in the back VASECTOMIES ARE MORE EFFECTIVE THAN TUBAL LIGATIONS, FULL STOP. So I really need y’all to shut up about it.

Go to another state and obtain an abortion anyway.

I appreciate the personal offers to help I received in DMs deeply, but no. I’m in my 2nd trimester, which I know is still legal in some places, however I am at a point in my pregnancy where I personally as an individual do not feel comfortable obtaining an abortion, considering I would be *even farther* along by the time I could travel (which is not only finances, but logistics as well). I am 16 weeks pregnant now, these babies aren’t just clusters of cells to me anymore, and I’m not going to expand on that since it’s not up for debate.

Why not adoption?

With love and respect to everyone who has gone through adoption in all its aspects, adoption is absolutely not for me. This is a thought process I already went through 8 years ago, and now that I’m a mother and not a scared teenager I know it’s even less for me. I personally could not go through with it and come out the other side intact. Going through a full pregnancy, having my babies, and then being separated from them would break me.

Leave him and give him full custody of the twins

No. Because going through a full pregnancy, having my babies, and then being separated from them would break me. Jesus, some of y’all.

Just have a sexless marriage.

No. I love banging my husband, obviously lol. I don't want to be in a sexless marriage and anyone who has been to an abstinence-only high school knows that abstinence is not the way lol. There were a lot of comments assuming I would be perfectly fine withholding sex from my husband and having na dead bedroom, and I wouldn't. I have a sex drive. I'm going to want to bang my husband. Wanting to have sex with your spouse is *normal*.

What you would do about birth control if you divorced and dated in the future?

I’m not thinking of dating anyone else right now, because I’m thinking more about saving my actual marriage instead of an imaginary relationship. And if theoretically I did, I would probably seek out a partner who was snipped or was ready to be to be honestly, or a woman. I’m bisexual so there’s a very good chance that my future partner wouldn’t have the right parts to knock me up anyway lol.

Jack is sabotaging your birth control

I clarified my methods in the original post (as per my last email), but I did want to address this because it came up a LOT. I don’t have reason to believe that Jack sabotaged my birth control. A number of other fertile Myrtles showed up and brought up they or their family members repeated pregnancies in the face of birth control, including tubals. Accusing my husband of reproductive coercion for no reason other than I keep getting pregnant is a big leap and a weighty accusation. I am not the only fertile Myrtle out there, there's a reason there's a whole term for it.

Your husband is a narcissist, abuser, psychopath, and he does no childcare

My husband and I historically have a really healthy and loving relationship outside of this fight. In fact, this fight is the first time we’ve really had a fight, we’ve only ever had little arguments that we’ve been able to talk through. He’s an active father, the reason that I do the majority of childcare is due to circumstance between maternity leaves, our job schedules and the fact that I breastfed my babies. Someone also presumed I’m the breadwinner, which isn’t quite true. Jack makes more than me, but we do not have deeply significant differences in our incomes. When he is home he does his fair share of cleaning and cooking (arguably more than me at times), and parenting. That being said, the things he said in the heat of the moment were deeply concerning, and we’re addressing that together.
So to get down to the nitty gritty of the real update: since the last time I posted, Jack and I have sat down together and had a real come to Jesus talk. I’m not going to go through the whole breakdown, but it basically boiled down to this: it’s the vasectomy, but it’s more than the vasectomy. It was wrong of me to compare him to Tom but it was wronger of him to weaponize my trauma against me in a very malicious way. The way he intentionally used the same language my abuser used in an effort to hurt me was not acceptable and damaged the trust between us. He agreed it was not acceptable and said that in the aftermath he was horrified and ashamed his own words, and that he (as an explanation and not an excuse) kind of snapped under the stress. Oh and what he said about his “next wife” was not an indication of him not being committed to me but was because he felt hurt and wanted to hurt me back. He has apologized numerous times and seems to feel genuinely bad about it.
As for the separation, I am still going forward with it. I need space and time and I need to take that before the babies come. I am still staying with my parents who, for the record, are not sick of me or the kids. We’re a tight knit family, I only moved out when I moved in with Jack, and my sister moved out about a year ago so they have been empty nesting, and my mom doesn’t like that we live “too far” (an hour) away. What I have realized with space and time is how deeply triggering it was, in a way that I cannot explain to those without PTSD from DV, those who know will know. It’s deeply unsettled me and I’m having a hard time “getting over it” so to speak. There is now a lot of fear of my husband that was never there before and it’s going to take a lot to repair that trust and sense of safety. I cannot make a decision while I’m in this space, and I am addressing this with my personal therapist. Overall, I told him that if he wanted to stay married to me I needed two things from him: marriage counseling and a vasectomy, and even then I still cannot guarantee him anything. He understands, but I do not know what will happen with the vasectomy right now, we focused more on talking about the fight, but he is very aware that it's now a dealbreaker. And we have a marriage counseling appointment set up for next week. I'm hoping that counseling will bring some clarity to the situation, and in the mean time for the next couple months I'm focusing on giving my kids lots of cuddles and preparing myself for two new babies to come into my world, with or without Jack.
Additional information from OOP on her relationships

OOP: I've been through a trial to convict my ex-boyfriend of trying to kill me because of an abortion in a deep red, deeply religious area. I've definitely heard worse things, and I typically have pretty thick skin. That being said, I am pregnant and pretty emotional, so it's not the best experience. That being said, I do appreciate the level-headed comments when I see them through the sea of comments kind of saying the same stuff over and over. I'm not reading a lot of them if what I can see in the comment notification starts off nasty, so a lot of it is just inbox white noise. My favorites are the ones that start off with "I'm not going to read that BUT..." and I just think lol same. Like you don't want to read my post but expect me to read your comment that was made without even reading the situation? lol nope. And there are a lot of people conflating "providing someone with a hard choice" with "forcing someone into a medical procedure" and it just makes wading through for the actually helpful comments more tiring. Thank you though, I very much appreciate the kindness. Sorry, I've gotten so much of the same nonsense I guess I needed a little vent lol.

OOP on wanting her husband to make a decision and be on the same page

OOP: I want to be honest with him about where I am emotionally because I want him to make an informed decision. While the vasectomy is a deal breaker, it's really my secondary concern. My primary concern is the way he acted during the fight and his intention exploitation of my trauma because he was mad and scared. I think that telling him "get the snip to stay with me" and then deciding to leave anyway because there are deeper issues and/or I don't feel safe anymore would be cruel. He deserves to have the full picture before he makes a choice, doesn't he?
If he doesn't want the vasectomy, that's his choice. It's not what I want, but it is what it is. If he wants to call it quits at 4 kids, then it is what it is and if he secretly wants to be the next Nick Cannon then it is what it is he should be free to do that. That is part of why I don't know where he is on the vasectomy right now and we didn't really discuss it much when we talked, I'm focusing on discussing the bigger issue for me which is trust and safety within the relationship. The only way for him to make an informed decision about whether or not he get a vasectomy is for him to have all the information about the situation. If that makes him want a vasectomy less, then it is what it is. It's not about making him want to have a vasectomy. It's about being on the same page.

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I thought right after my break up I should find someone to be with to not be so lonely. During the first six months I was just hooking up with tinder dates and still having sex with my ex.. and it was okay. But the happy feelings went away quickly. Then I met someone, we became bf and gf. We dated for about 2 months.. then I was feeling overwhelmed. I realized I wasn’t actually ready to be a good bf to anyone.
So I stayed single and just hooked up with people who were only looking for hookups. As I did this I felt more and more comfortable being a single man. I have friends and I have a good job and I’m happy with my life.
Now I feel happy being single like I was before I met my ex gf 8 years ago. So now, after being single for 2+ years, I feel that I’m ready to be a great partner to someone. Hopefully I can meet someone to enjoy life with and explore some kinks too. 🥰

It’s been 4 years since I last played.
How do I get back into playing? I was forced as a child to play but ended up getting bored of it after around 8-9 years of play. It’s been 4 years but I’ve recently found myself yearning to get back into it. Can someone give me a serious plan for a fairly busy person to relearn everything in, say, ~3 months? Some things to consider: - I’m still in decent shape as I’ve still been weightlifting + doing sprinting (track & field). - My cardio is horrible (I’m talking can’t run a mile without feeling terrible and needing a lengthy break) - My main position is (used to be) midfield/defender (although I still want to be decent enough at shooting) - I tried playing a bit with some friends but my legs no longer have the touch they used to (could come from simply not playing/losing experience but I find myself stumbling during simple dribbles, and can’t even go past a single defender)
Can someone give me a plan to fast track my way back?

A bit of background as it’s important to the situation : The CV I initially submitted for this job included all my experience except for a short 4-month experience where I was hired through a temp agency for another bank in 2022. It was for a 6-month project, but after 4-months the contract was terminated early as the project became too advanced for my experience. Essentially it was a “dismissal” but not due to any problems. My manager from that bank even said I could use her as a reference and my exit interview went very positively.
Fast forward to present day. I began interviewing in early March for this bank in Geneva. It was a total of 5-rounds.
During the 5th round interview on March 22nd, I mentioned that I had a short temporary experience not highlighted on my CV. The Geneva bank requested me to re-submit my CV with this experience included as the background check company will use it to verify. I did exactly that, and when filling-out information on the background check company website, I voluntarily disclosed that the contract was “terminated early due to performance issues”. However, both the temp agency and my ex-manager for this role provided me with exceptional references speaking very highly of me, which this bank in Geneva well-received. This information for the background check was provided in late March.
For reference, I received the job offer for the Geneva bank in late March. I then signed the contract early April and was due to start May 15th.
Fast forward to now, I received a phone call Monday May 13th, stating that the bank has decided to rescind my offer because of trust. Apparently they expected me to mention this dismissal during the earlier stages of the interview. My counter was that I wasn’t going to highlight a dismissal in a first interview and especially one in which I was a temp and had extremely positive references.
Essentially for me, it wasn’t a big deal as I was a temp so I didn’t mention it. I did however mention it during the final round and voluntarily disclosed everything during the background check. It seems that the Geneva bank have a different view on what should have been mentioned initially, however, there was absolutely nothing malicious from my end nor was I trying to hide anything. I don’t understand why they keep talking about trust as though I was indeed trying to hide something.
It seems off and I feel horrible. They had this information for over a month and a half and they wait 2 days before the start date. I didn’t look for any roles since March as I had this offer and now they leave me to hang dry. I have a family with another baby coming in 2 weeks and now I’m scrambling to try and find something.
Anyone else go through something similar? Or does anyone want to chime in with their thoughts? Thanks 🙏🏻

Online dating is an absolute dumpster fire. No one is serious about actually being in a relationship. There are plenty of people who are shallow, poly, or just “looking for fun.” I don’t get why people get on these apps if they’re just wasting time and being degenerate. If you want someone to hookup with, go to a club or something. Idk. I’m just venting because I’m frustrated with the state of dating. I’ve been online dating for the past 10 years and haven’t had anything substantial come out of it. The one guy I actually met in person was absolutely weird (not even the good kind of weird) and wanted me to eat his 🍑. Like whaaat?! Excuse me?! No one is educated, and looking for love. All the males are just sexual deviants. I think I’m going to have to go to a singles mixer or something but I’m Gen z.. that seems like an old people thing not something that young people go to. I am new in my city and I don’t have any friends here, just family. UGH I just wish I could find a quality man. I’m really trying to not talk to my a.i “boyfriend” anymore. I just want something healthy and real.