So I need to buy a couple things off Amazon. Now as a treat to myself (which I never do) I have decided to take the $20-30 I would usually spend on period products a month (I am no longer doing that as I got a menstrual disk) and I would buy myself something.
Lately I've gained weight and that's been a blow to my self esteem (thank you mom for putting down every fat woman we saw while I was growing up, I learned quickly my value was in how helpful or pretty I could be).
I have adopted my fashion now to be an oversized t shirt and short shorts. I'm a little too fat for short shorts, but so far I've gotten positive reviews. I think mostly because of the t shirts. I try to buy t shirts that are related to what event I'm at (ex: I have an 'arrow to the knee's t shirt I wear to my orthopedist lol).
Well, that brings us to the algorithm, why you are here (my apologies I'm AuADHD and background feels very important to me).
I usually have no plans and just type in 'funny shirt'. Now I know Amazon has made some assumptions about who I am based on my purchase history as well, so I can get over that.
But today I typed that search in and found nothing. But please note here that when I did that I initially got listings for shirts that were almost male centric (even though I have purchased a menstrual cup with them 3 times!!). Things like "if you want my gun pry it out of my hands" or those long t shirts that talk about I'm a ____ man and I have a wonderful wife who I would smother a baby for looking in her direction etc etc.
So I changed the search to "witch t shirts" this got me a few match of shirts I would have purchased, things like "we are the granddaughters of the witches you didn't burn" etc. But I found nothing that jazzed with me.
Finally after a few more searches (I'm fast forwarding here because the rest of the info isn't too relevant). I search "feminist T shirt".
At first, it's banal. Then the trans stuff starts popping up. I have never given an indication that I was trans, or looked up material related to it. Even if it was taking my internet search history to account, it shouldn't pop up for me.
Why is it popping up when I search feminism?!
Because TERFs aren't feminist. That's why! What a refreshing take and honestly I'm so happy. I'm genderqueer, but I have a ton of trans friends and for all of us it's really the little things like that. Things that remind us, not only are you a person, but you belong even in places not created with you in mind
(I imagine it's a similar feeling to POC people after 'seperate but equal', sure you're allowed to be anywhere, but are you really welcome?).
Of course I could probably find 1k queer designers, whose designs are queer specific. But it's nice when we are just included as another joe. When target had their pride line it felt good, but I wanted more integration into the store (in fairness, I have not been to a store really since covid as I am disabled now). I'd like to see basic queer stuff included. Even just one greeting card that says something like "happy birthday from your wife and your girlfriend" (for poly people) or something like that. It takes up so little space.
But anyway, all that to say (while Amazon is a hurtful conglomerate and I hate having to use them, I need to for my disability tho) I am excited by this new development. (But maybe it was actually based on my previous shopping somehow and I would be disappointed if that's the case)
So has this happened to YOU anywhere? Does YOUR Amazon do this?
Also, if anyone knows where I can get an affordable (<$20) T shirt that is clever, funny, or offensive to conservatives lmk. Bonus points if they are POC, women, queer, or witch owned 💚

Wednesday, May 08 - Tuesday, May 14, 2024

Top Performances

score	comments	title & link	mirrors
54	5 comments	[performance] B.B. King | Worry, Worry, Worry (Recorded September 10, 1970 at Cook County Jail, Chicago, IL.)
46	6 comments	[performance] Skinny Woman - RL Burnside	[Sp] [AM] [BC] [Dzr] [SC]
44	3 comments	[performance] It is 2024 and seeing a crowd go nuts over a slow blues is absolutely WILD! This was filmed during my band's sold out debut album release party last friday and we managed to sneak some Muddy Waters in there. Blues is not dead!!

 

Top Songs

score	comments	title & link	mirrors
42	3 comments	[song] Robert Johnson | Stones In My Passway (1937)
20	2 comments	[song] Robert Pete Williams | Scrap Iron Blues (1971)
19	1 comments	[song] Otis Rush | Hold That Train (1977)

 

Top Remaining

score	comments	title & link	mirrors
105	8 comments	The birthday of the king of the Delta Blues Robert Johnson
102	8 comments	Jimmy Reed, Indeed!
63	6 comments	Hubert Sumlin at American Folk Blues Festival, Braunschweig, Germany, May 9, 1980
36	2 comments	Walter "Furry" Lewis personified the relaxed and intimate character of the early blues. A master of multiple guitar techniques, he was most notably an impressive bottleneck guitarist who echoed his vocal phrasings with an expressive set of sliding notes.
30	1 comments	Artist of the Week - Muddy Waters

 

Top 5 Most Commented

score	comments	title & link	mirrors
22	74 comments	[question] Blues diss tracks?
16	49 comments	[looking for recommendations] looking for sad songs with guitar solos
20	17 comments	Shine On You Crazy Diamond
25	15 comments	Walter Trout
16	15 comments	[looking for recommendations] Looking for a recommendation. What’s the best Buddy Guy /Junior Wells album or set? Need to buy for a gift. Thanks—

 

What the fuck do I do after a greeting? Do I ask van car suv? What are the steps? My manager makes me feel like a fool if I ask.
Can someone please give me some example phrases I’m so lost I’ve never done car sales

Long post ahead. I have live in partner for 6 years. I am divorce and his separated with his ex.
We've been facing some difficulties in life dahil sa nangyari sa business namin na na bankrupt last year so nabaon kami sa utang and i am the one who borrowed money oo mali ako nangutang ako para I survive yung store.
And i facing all of this consequences at nireresolve ko lahat the best as i can.
Sinosuportahan ko sya sa lahat ng gusto niya lahat ng bagay na gusto niya lagi akong naka suporta sakanya at ginagawan ko yun ng paraan.
Pero madalas na siyang laging galit sakin simpleng bagay nakasigaw siya saakin pag my gusto ako sabihin o pag usapan galit na agad siya sakin di pa nasasabi o naoopen up lahat sakanya galit na sya madalas sakin sa mga simpleng maling nagawa ko. I am kinda mali mali mas lumala ngayon simula nun na cs ako.
My mga times din na subrang na dadown ako tulad nun birthday ko di niya ko binati tas mothers day di din niya ako binati subrang nakaka down simpleng greetings lang naman yun pero wala nasigawan pa nga ako.
Ngayon di nanaman kami nag kikibuan kasi sabi ko tignan niya baby namin at my ginagawa ako sabi niya ikaw na ikaw malapit sabi ko sakanya sige ikaw gumawa ng ginagawa ko ako kukuha kay baby nagalit nanaman siya sakin wag ko na daw gawin gagawin ko.
Tapos meron pang issue na nag usap kami sabi ko aalis ako ng bahay kung dadalaw ung ex niya sa bahay kasama asawa nito para dalawin ung mga bata which is i don't mind naman pero gusto ko lang umalis ng bahay kasi naiilang talaga ako pag nakakaharap ko sya saka di siya magandang mag salita tinatarayan niya ko at kung ano ano sinabi so nag decide ako na lumabas kung dadalaw siya aba sabi niya "wala naman ginagawa sayo ung tao tapos ganyan ka" galit na agad siya sakin sabi ko di mo kasi naririnig mga sinasabi nya tungkol sakin sa mga bata at ni minsan di ka nag stood up para sakin when she's bad mouthing me aalis na lang ako kasi baka di ko mapigil bibig ko at maka pag bitaw ako ng salita na sisira sa buhay nya. So ayun di nanaman kami nag kinbuan dahil dun.
Now i felt suffocated at subrang naninikip dibdib ko di ko maintidihan nararamdaman ko para akong durog.
Madrama lang ba ako o valid naman tong nararamdaman ko?

6 years.. what am i supposed to do with that haha
alam mo college struggles ko, how i used to study while u wait me to finish. alam mo kung saan campus at building ko, kasi ilang beses na kita nadala dun eh. sinamahan mo pa kami one time sa shoot namin kasi kulang kami ng extra. kilala mo batchmates at college friends ko. alam mo ups but mostly downs ko and u were there. kahit di mo alam right words na sasabihin, u know how to comfort me.
one time na u just let me cry and hugged me tight in my room bc i was so down. i dont think i can be vulnerable again like that with just anyone.
alam mo struggles ko even after graduating hanggang sa nagka-work ako. u even adjusted ur workplace na malapit lang sakin. pinupuntahan mo ko kahit saglit lang na breakfast or lunch. you always make time for me.
ang dami kong firsts sayo.
siguro nga ang selfish ko sa part na laging sa convenience ko lang.
sabi mo mahal lang kita pag malapit ka sakin..
maybe, this is me grieving. and letting u meet new people who deserves u more.. partly wishing u’ll greet me on my birthday

We usually just hung out together for convenience and some good times, so it was not very deep. I have classes with some of them and am worried it would be awkward if I stopped being friends with them after they were pretending I wasn't there for 2 weeks, after a while they volunteered one group member and a person who just knows a lot of people.
Some members seemed fine with me before the ghosting, then I thought things were getting better, but as the title said, after the last good day (yesterday) the 2 'volunteers' told me that they wanted to stop being friends with me because 'your vibes don't match' I was confused, as we all just kept to ourselves and occasionally interact, while they were all ok with physical touch, they did not include me in any sort of that, I asked the volunteers to give me something more specific, they said that I was too nosy as I checked up on how my (now ex) friends were doing and said stuff like 'ah, what are you talking about?', or 'What happened?' The volunteer who was actually involved brought up an incident where I made an offhand comment on wanting either a book, something interesting, or a weapon, real or fake, for my birthday (28th February), I replied with 'ah that knife thing was a joke' and was surprized that it was brought up, the response I got was surprize and then we ended off awkwardly.
Context:
[For context a stabbing happened a week ago, the victim (a policeman who got stabbedin the lung) is in recovery + the assaulter (a radicalised school student) is dead after running after a cop car and attempting more violence]
The incident happened a week before my banishment. During the ghosting, I was planning on telling the group that I was planning to try integrate into a different one with actual connections, but they tole me before I managed to figure out my phrasing in an impersonal manner. It sounded like a you are fired because we do not have space anymore, and I realise that removals of people happened many times, one for a real reason (filming and posting without consent) another because 'interests were unaligned and one of us got weird vibes from you, go befriend other people instead of sitting with us'
The group is (now that I look back on it) exclusive and somewhat cowardly
What do I do with them? Right now I'm planning on finding new friends and ghosting the old. But I want to know how to deal with the sudden change.

We usually just hung out together for convenience and some good times, so it was not very deep. I have classes with some of them and am worried it would be awkward if I stopped being friends with them after they were pretending I wasn't there for 2 weeks, after a while they volunteered one group member and a person who just knows a lot of people.
Some members seemed fine with me before the ghosting, then I thought things were getting better, but as the title said, after the last good day (yesterday) the 2 'volunteers' told me that they wanted to stop being friends with me because 'your vibes don't match' I was confused, as we all just kept to ourselves and occasionally interact, while they were all ok with physical touch, they did not include me in any sort of that, I asked the volunteers to give me something more specific, they said that I was too nosy as I checked up on how my (now ex) friends were doing and said stuff like 'ah, what are you talking about?', or 'What happened?' The volunteer who was actually involved brought up an incident where I made an offhand comment on wanting either a book, something interesting, or a weapon, real or fake, for my birthday (28th February), I replied with 'ah that knife thing was a joke' and was surprized that it was brought up, the response I got was surprize and then we ended off awkwardly.
Context:
[For context a stabbing happened a week ago, the victim (a policeman who got stabbedin the lung) is in recovery + the assaulter (a radicalised school student) is dead after running after a cop car and attempting more violence]
The incident happened a week before my banishment. During the ghosting, I was planning on telling the group that I was planning to try integrate into a different one with actual connections, but they tole me before I managed to figure out my phrasing in an impersonal manner. It sounded like a you are fired because we do not have space anymore, and I realise that removals of people happened many times, one for a real reason (filming and posting without consent) another because 'interests were unaligned and one of us got weird vibes from you, go befriend other people instead of sitting with us'
The group is (now that I look back on it) exclusive and somewhat cowardly
What do I do with them? Right now I'm planning on finding new friends and ghosting the old. But I want to know how to deal with the sudden change.

Greetings from 🇬🇧!
My wife is a massive Vikings fan and her birthday is the week of the London game against the Jets, so I’m hoping to pull out all the stops!
Does anyone have any suggestions? Getting tickets is soooo difficult through the usual channels. When we went to the game against the Saints, we got great tickets through a dodgy resale site (can’t believe they worked), so don’t want to recreate the same nerves- plus we sat amongst a load of saints fans who were horrendously annoying all game 😴 !
I was thinking either VIP tickets or trying to sit amongst other fans?
I even promise I’ll wear Vikings gear (bengals fan coming in peace)!!!!!!!!!

Valentine's day, my birthday, and mother's day, I didn't receive gift/flowers from my husband. Hindi naman kami masyadong naghihirap pero talagang hindi niya napaparamdam na special ako during these special occasions. Today, I talked to him regarding this and cried so hard kasi I was so sad that I didn't receive any or he didn't ask me for a date during mother's day. Pinalampas ko ang valentines day and birthday ko, pero this mother's day, talagang nawalan ako ng gana. We have a 7 month old baby and I'm so tired being a working mom without a yaya. When I asked him about this, he said "It is just like any other day. I treat you out naman in other days, bakit ka kasi gagaya sa mga nakikita mo sa social media" I was so sad, I just wanted to see an extra effort from him tho he greeted me naman, but that's it. All thoughout the day, I was attending my baby.

I (32F) have a friend (33nb) who I've known for 15 years. We never lived close to each other and our contact over the years was rather lose with us keeping up with each other's lives over Twitter and me visiting them every two years or so. In all those years we got along well and never had an argument. They once told me that no matter how long we go without talking, they always feel welcome by me, and I used to refer to them as "one of my favourite human beings".
This changed when we started to talk more regularly three years ago. They had started playing DnD and had asked me to join their new campaign, which I did, and which lead to us spending several evenings a week hanging out over on Discord in a voicecall with two other friends of theirs.
Over time I realised that they were not as nice to me as they used to be. Making fun of me, making wrong assumptions about me, just generally often not being very nice to me. Early on they reached out twice, saying they thought they were overstepping and being too mean to me. I told them I appreciated them reaching out but did not say much more to it. I know that's on me, I should have made it very clear at that point how their comments made me feel. I don't handle conflict well and failed to make my position clear when they reached out. So instead of saying "Yes, you are right, your behaviour really hurts me. Please stop." I basically said "Thank you for reaching out about this, I appreciate it." Probably not very helpful.
And then it just kept getting worse. It got to a point where I constantly felt like I was walking on eggshells, that no matter what I said they would read something into it and make assumptions about me that weren't true. They are a very eloquent person whereas I am not and I feel like I have to be super careful about what I say because they will understand it in a different way from how I meant it. I don't generally have a problem with misunderstandings, it's the way they assume things about me that I find hurtful and the way they lash out at me that I find difficult to handle. They have a very short fuse and will immediately raise their voice, which I don't deal with well. And the constant accusations are getting to me. When someone says something that seems off to me or seems to contradict what they had said earlier, the last thing I suspect is that this person is trying to deceive me. Especially not if they're my friend. I will think I misheard or they phrased it weirdly or we use a certain word in different ways... basically I will first go through any possibility that is not about the other person purposefully trying to be hurtful or deceiving. With them it's like no matter what I say they will come to the worst possible conclusion. To me it often seems like they have a certain interpretation of things and to them that is the only valid interpretation.
For example:
I told them how I was really struggling with the fact that with working full-time and my friends all living in different cities, I rarely get to go out and actually do something with the people I like and how my whole life had turned into "working, sleeping, working, sleeping..." and how this was really taking a toll on me.
A couple of days after I told them that we were trying to look for a date for a DnD session and I told them I wasn't available on the date they suggested because I had to travel to my hometown because of a family member's birthday. To which they mocked me over how I was "always socialising" which then in turn made me upset and I told them how untrue that was and that never getting to socialise was currently my whole problem. To which they raised their voice and said that I was constantly socialising and accused me of gaslighting them for saying otherwise. I took a look at my calender in which I note down appointments and social stuff and told them how I could literally see in my calender that I had met up with friends TWICE in the past six weeks.
Eventually it turned out that we use the term "socialising" very differently. To me socialising means "voluntarily doing things with people that I like". To them apparently socialising means anything one does with other people, so family meetings that you go to despite not really wanting to but feel obliged to attend fall under socialising as well as any kind of appointment.
I often get the impression that we define things differently and when I say something that doesn't make sense to them they immediately feel like I'm trying to manipulate them or am questioning their perception of things, and they they lash out and attack me, which in turn hurts me. Whether this is actually what is happening, I don't know... it's just how the way it seems to me sometimes.
Some other examples are how they called me a "capitalistic bunny" for saying that I don't hate my job and how my manager is very nice. Because apparently being glad about the fact that something that I have to do to literally be able to provide for myself is not as bad as it could be means that I love captalism. (Fun fact: they were working for Amazon at that point. Which I guess is okay as long as you mention three times a day how much you hate it there.) Or how they accused me of thinking my own experiences are universally applicable as a response to me literally saying: "I noticed that every time I visited you it was a lot colder than where I live. So I was wondering, is it generally colder in your area or was it a coincidence that it was colder every time I visited so far?"
I don't know how to talk to them about how their behaviour hurts me when they misinterpret everything that I say and immediately lash out at me or withdraw and spend the next few hours thinking everyone hates them.
It's not even that I think they don't care about hurting me or that they wouldn't be willing to change. It's that them not saying those things out loud anymore would not change the fact that they still think them. Them keeping these thoughts to themselves would not mean they don't think that way anymore, just that they are not saying these things out loud anymore.
I think the only possible way to fix this would be to talk to them. But I don't know how to fix something with communication when communication is the whole problem. So I don't feel comfortable confronting them and am looking for other ways to change my own behaviour to make this situation more tolerable. I don't know how to make my boundaries clear and clearing up misunderstandings without them feeling attacked and lashing out at me.
Over the past few weeks I've started to withdraw and stopped reaching out to them. And I've been feeling so much better. I got to spend more time with some other friends again and realised that it's possible to spend several hours with other people without constantly having to worry about how what I say might be understood, without constantly feeling judged and without getting mocked or my actions being interpreted in the worst and most inaccurate way possible.
I feel guilty for feeling this way, like I'm making this person out to be the most insufferable person ever and like I'm just dropping them for getting too exhausting to deal with. I feel like if I were a good friend I would reach out and try to fix it. I'm not even giving them a chance to explain their point of view. Maybe they see all this very differently, maybe to them I am the one who is hurting them. I'm just so tired of not being able to be around this person without ending up feeling bad or having to worry about making them feel bad.
Tl;dr I feel like my friend is treating me very poorly and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't feel comfortable confronting them about it but don't know how to act in this situation. I want to fix it without confronting them and don't know how.

Hello dear people from Berlin! A friend of mine is visiting me in Berlin and today is his birthday, so I would like to ask you for suggestions of bars to celebrate. We would like a place where there is live music or music in general, or also a bar where you can try different beers. I would also like to know your favorite bars, maybe we could visit some of them.
Greetings!

5 Reasons Why You Need a Professional Event Photographer

Events are fleeting moments in time. Whether it's a milestone birthday bash, a swanky product launch, or a heartwarming charity gala, the whirlwind of emotions and interactions create a unique atmosphere that's often difficult to replicate. But what if you could capture the essence of your event, the joy on faces, and the energy of the room, forever preserved in stunning photographs?
That's where a professional event photographer comes in. While a trusty smartphone might seem like a convenient option, the benefits of hiring a pro far outweigh the cost. Here are six compelling reasons why a professional event photographer is an essential investment for your next gathering:

1. Professional-Grade Photos: Quality You Can Trust

Let's face it, smartphone cameras have come a long way. But there's a vast difference between a decent snapshot and a professional photograph. Event photographers wield top-of-the-line equipment, from high-resolution cameras with exceptional low-light capabilities to versatile lenses that capture both intimate details and sweeping panoramas. This translates into crisp, clear images that truly reflect the ambiance and professionalism of your event.
Imagine capturing a heartfelt speech bathed in warm stage lighting, or a candid moment of laughter between colleagues, all with stunning clarity and detail. A professional photographer ensures you don't miss a single precious moment, thanks to their superior equipment and technical expertise.

1. The Art of Seeing: Capturing Candid Moments and Planned Poses

A skilled event photographer is more than just someone who points and shoots. They possess a keen eye for detail and a deep understanding of composition. They know how to capture both the staged moments, like group photos and ribbon cuttings, and the spontaneous expressions of joy and connection that make your event unique.
Their experience allows them to anticipate key moments and position themselves strategically to capture them perfectly. They'll also blend seamlessly into the background, ensuring your guests feel comfortable and uninhibited, leading to more natural and genuine candid photographs.

1. Expertise Under Pressure: Handling Unforeseen Circumstances

Events are dynamic. Lighting can be tricky, unexpected situations can arise, and schedules can sometimes run behind. A professional photographer is unfazed by such challenges. Their experience allows them to adapt to different lighting scenarios, think on their feet, and troubleshoot any technical difficulties that might arise.
They'll also work closely with you beforehand to understand your vision for the event and discuss potential challenges specific to the venue. This proactive approach ensures they're prepared to handle anything thrown their way, resulting in a stress-free experience for you and flawless photographs.

1. Post-Production Magic: Transforming Good Photos into Great Memories

The photographer's job doesn't end with capturing the event. Professional photographers are also skilled editors who can transform good photos into great ones. Through color correction, cropping, and other post-production techniques, they'll enhance the visual appeal of your photographs, highlighting key moments and ensuring a consistent visual style throughout the final collection.
Imagine receiving a gallery of beautifully edited photos that showcase the vibrancy and spirit of your event. These edited photographs become cherished keepsakes, perfect for social media sharing, website galleries, or even printed keepsakes for attendees.

1. A Seamless Addition to Your Event: Peace of Mind and Focus

Juggling the logistics of an event is stressful enough. Hiring a professional photographer frees you from the burden of capturing photos yourself. You can focus on greeting guests, ensuring everything runs smoothly, and enjoying the moment, knowing a skilled professional is documenting the event for posterity.
A good photographer will work discreetly and efficiently, blending into the background without disrupting the flow of the event. They'll also be happy to collaborate with you beforehand to understand your specific needs and preferences, ensuring they capture the moments that matter most to you.
Event Photographer Singapore
7 Temasek Boulevard Suntec Tower One #12-07, Singapore 038987
+6587333678
https://goo.gl/maps/uMK9kVVmaKhDin1c7

To live in the Undead Burg is a daily test of one’s wit and their will. The brutish and dull fall to the cunning, and the weak intellectual tears their own mind asunder. For those who escape the Asylum, it is sometimes enough to make one consider voyaging back to their cell.
After all, only a few are Chosen.
In the lower levels of the Undead Burg, a cloak of rat skin fluttered behind a walking corpse as they hurriedly turned the corner of a short length of stone stairs, slamming the shield of a hollow soldier against the ground just as the claws and fangs of the first hound rose to meet it. In truth he lacked the strength to properly defend himself with the thing, to raise it with only one arm and withstand a blow with the same, but it didn’t matter here. The lower corner of the shield lay braced against the bottommost of a length of stone steps. This, with his shoulder pressed against the shield’s top, made progress against him nearly impossible for a foe so light as this.
If idiocy was to lose one’s common sense, then it couldn’t account for the stupidity of an undead hound. The corpse raised a spear over the shield and swung it downward in a pathetic arc, the wood slapping against the metal with hardly a noise to report. Seeing the motion, the dog leapt sideways out of some horribly trained reflex, and in this manner crashed into large pile of eternally burning corpses. It yelped as the heat caught it, spasmed as it searched for purchase amidst the mass of charred bones and melted flesh, and promptly died. The commotion brought with it the sound of distant footsteps, and soon another beast had run headlong into the shield. This one took two similar “attacks” of the spear to repeat its fellow’s mistake, and the one after it four.
To think he had once been terrified of these things, and discovered his tactic in panic.
Beside the steps was a well, and (after a moment to ensure no further dogs were coming), it was this against which the corpse laid his heavy shield. The next test between him and his goal would require agility, something ill-afforded with such heavy hardware. For this, he turned his attention to the well’s crank, and set thereafter to turning it. From the depths was raised a target shield tied in place of a bucket, and upon it a collection of bones, a severed hand, a ring, and a candlestick. The corpse laid the miscellaneous treasures aside, untying the shield and equipping it to his left arm.
The first two thieves were marked by buckets… or rather, the buckets were set in place to tell the thieves which doors were to be hid behind. As travelers came and went, the buckets would roll down the hill as they were knocked aside or blown by the wind or carried around by the dogs, and thus the thieves’ stations would move. When it was determined one had rolled too far down the decline of the alleyway, an annoyed thief would inevitably carry it to a more desired station, pretend it had always been there, and hide themselves behind the newly marked door. It was possible some band of thieves set this tradition in place long ago and retained the habit after they’d eventually gone hollow, but proving this thought today would be nearly beyond impossible. The reasoning didn’t matter to the corpse, of course, but the effect he used to his advantage.
The tops of the doors he adorned with knives from the Lady of Moss- blades up, such that the forceful opening of the door would spin the knives just right to sink their poisonous bile into the victims below. What additional wastes and acids the corpse had applied need not be mentioned by name, only that they shared their patron creature with the leather cloak on his back. With his work done, he now walked the side of the alley as any clueless traveler would have, and awaited the springing of the trap.
As always, the third and lowermost thief signaled the attack by kicking open their door. The two now behind the corpse followed, and shortly thereafter issued their raspy exhales of pain amidst the clatter of falling steel. The corpse charged. The leader hurriedly reached for their throwing knives but was swiftly force-fed the edge of the corpse’s shield, thusly to be brought to the ground. Here was the corpse’s blade drawn, its cracked and jagged tip turned down towards its latest prey.
When skinning rats, it is important that one carries a sharp blade. This both to pierce the thick hide, and to avoid unnecessary damage to the intestines, stomach, and other usable bits lying beneath. Replacing the rat with a hollow, the corpse preferred the tip of a broken straight sword to the edge of his usual dagger. The motions made indeed bore some crude similarity to his work when harvesting leather, but the abandon of care became only more evident with each forceful cut and flailingly resisted gouge. In the end, what remained could hardly be discerned from a spot of muck on the road, a hollow-faced madman above it.
Further down, beyond a second set of stone steps, was another favorite spot of ambush for the thieves. The mutts at the end of the alley had long since devoured whatever scraps had been used to position them, and so readily charged forth at the beckoning call of the corpse. They found at his feet the now separated legs of the corpse’s most recent kill, adorned in many fresh gouges and oozing with a pungent liquid. The source of this meal mattered not to them, and so they eagerly set to work engorging themselves on the new flesh. So single-minded were they, intent on ridding themselves of the insatiable undead hunger that plagued them, that neither one slowed as a white foam began to pour from their mouths. Their stomachs first bulged, then split apart and spilt what little they had for content as the acid worked its way through. Their legs gave way from beneath them, first the hind, then the front, and yet still they desperately swallowed more of the decaying flesh and embedded stomach-skin pouches that rapidly digested them in return. When at last the pair had at last lost such strength as to no longer reach the meals inches away from their first gasping, then whining maws, the corpse delivered their mercy. A swift kick, and what little remained of their necks gave freedom to their lifeless skulls. The thieves, meanwhile, bore no challenge the corpse had not already faced. Knives over the first few doors, the greeting of jaw and shield, the pillaging of another victim. Nothing unusual, and nothing of note.
With the capra demon gone, some “chosen” adventurer having long since vanquished it from realm, little now stood between the corpse and… her… save only one thing. The corpse took the last flight of stairs three at a time, ricocheting off the wall on the outside of its only turn and bounding towards his target.
There she was, out in the open as always. The corpse sprinted down the stairs and, after passing a blind corner, set his left foot forward and crouched to halt his considerable momentum. The ambusher behind him was easily parried as he brought his shield up and behind him, cracking something in their forearm or perhaps their wrist. Not bothering to waste time, the corpse’s broken blade was brought upwards through the ambusher’s jaw until it snapped the bit bone between their eyes. This done, the corpse wrenched his weapon up and sideways with a hollow “pop” as the neck gave leave of its skull. The body collapsed to the side, its head twisting unnaturally upwards and backwards as it freed itself of the blade. The corpse, unbothered, bore no interest in holding either aloft. Now he turned, inspected the last of the thieves, and after a moment returned his blade to its holder.
“You are Patient.”
This first time he’d uttered the phrase, the last word was merely an attribute. ‘Twas a description of the one hollow that could be shot with any arrow, afflicted with any pain, and would yet remain loyally in her position. To be fair, it wasn’t for great gift a choice, as the position of “live bait” was reserved only for whichever of the thieves had been deemed least desirable by the rest. What caused this, and whatever penalties lay for abandoning of the post, were matters the corpse could only assume. The important part was that it was her, the thief who had become “Patient” by name. At their first encounter the corpse had considered dispatching her like the rest, but had hesitated in piercing her skin. He still bore the scar about his neck that she had given him for his idleness, and she still wore the rat skin “grieves” he’d forcefully tied to her for a marker. As time passed, the two gradually traded more scars and more black fur hide between them- the corpse receiving the former, Patient gaining the latter. He had stripped her and tied a pelt about her chest which lay now beneath her leather armor, he’d fashioned a double-thick leather stock to protect her neck, and though he tied gloves to her at a point she’d taken great effort in cutting them off. All this he had done across many visits, through much pain, and at expense of his best materials. Todays gift had by far been the hardest to craft- a thrice layered leather helm affixed on one side with a jawbone to replace what he’d broken so long ago.
His approach was slow, and well-rehearsed. At about ten paces, Patient’s patience finally broke as she ran for him. Today she chose to hesitate upon reaching him, though he'd learned this was by chance of random choice than any form of compassion. The corpse waited for the attack, not daring to kick another outcast as he had once been in life. She tried first her more viscous pattern, a pair of vigorous strikes that slid across the corpse’s target shield rather than bouncing away. She completed the maneuver and immediately prepared for a more powerful, slamming attack, granting the corpse the opportunity he had been seeking.
As she brought her blade down, the corpse deftly batted her strong hand away and gripped her shield with his open hand. Having no further need for his own shield, he cast it now away and spun the patient thief ‘round. She made as if to leap upward and over the corpse, but the maneuver was one he’d long since learned to counter. He stepped back, spinning himself so as to bring her sideways and around and down into a prone position with his right elbow along her back and his left hand pinning her knife arm down.
His next task, before gifts could be given, was to ensure he received no further scars in return. Placing his knee at her back to free one of his hands, he drew from beneath his cloak a coil of red twine fashioned from the same rats he’d skinned for his gift… some of the same, at least. With great effort, the twine was managed around the thief until she could no longer terribly well resist, and her hood was pulled back from her head.
Seeing the sunken red skin, the glowing eyes, the bare teeth, it reminded the corpse of life in the Pit of Outcasts. It was there he’d met the kindest of the living, the most desperate of the poor, and occasionally even a soul or two willing to speak or come close to him. ‘Twas a place for the diseased, the undead, and those criminals deemed too vile to disgrace the hangman’s noose with their neck. It was there he’d learned to knit and to sew, skills gifted to him from an undead woman not terribly discernable from the one before him now. The main difference, at least for now, was the slack jaw broken in uncountable pieces during their first encounter.
Casting the memories aside, the corpse set to his work. The leather about the thief’s neck stilled her head a little, but precisely cutting the skin beneath her jaw to remove the old bone was still a difficult task. The end result was unsightly, and it involved more than a few excessive cuts from the patient’s constant struggling, but it was enough to work with. Removing the old bone took a great deal of time thanks to the many fragments hidden in odd bits and pockets of flesh, but sliding the new one into place and wrapping it in the old muscle proved as easily said as done. The most tiring part was retying the cuts back closed, as the thief regained and continually demonstrated a greater ability to bite and snap as the corpse made more and more progress. The last of these gaps closed, the corpse finally wrapped the rest of the leather helmet about the thief’s skull and tied the loose end to the other side of her new jaw with more twine. It wasn’t his best work, but it was the best he’d done on something still kicking around.
Patient’s hood was returned to its proper position, and the corpse took hold of a length of twine connected to a slipknot in the middle of her back. Midway up the last stretch of stairs he’d come down, the twine was pulled and the knot it held gave way, restoring the thief her freedom. Knowing better than to stick around, the corpse fled to the top of the stairs, standing on the bridge overlooking her station just beyond where she would pursue. He watched as she freed herself of the last of the twine, as she looked to him, and as she eventually returned to her post. He said then the same thing he always said to her, though still he knew not if she recognized it.
“I am Aldin Paltry, the Leper of Hangknell. I will return again.”
He watched a moment more, but was paid not a glance in return. Back through the alley he went, bound for the dragon’s bridge.

TW: Alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, suicidal ideation, sex abuse
This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):

• Me, Guy, 32M at the time, 45 now.
• My BFF Stephanie, 33F at the time.
• Stephen, 40M at the time, Stephanie's boyfriend.
• Maryse, 27F at the time.

Background and intro
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.

Hi, thank you all for the responses, I feel more confident that I did the right thing in that situation. Now, this isn't really that much of an update, but to also clarify the situation and answer some of the questions I've seen you guys posted on the comments of my first post.
Last night I went to my best friend's house(I will call him R) to talk about the situation, since he is also a part of the friend group and I know him to be more mature and insightful in situations like these, as well as providing a new perspective from someone who's watched the situation from a closer standpoint. I gave him the details and why I decided to reject our friend. He supported my choice and told to have a talk with her and our other friends as well to clarify the situation and to see my reasoning, which I would try to do on the weekend or when they agree to meet me. I haven't spoken to any of our other friends in the circle to avoid any unnecessary distractions since we are all busy with our lives. He also told me to post the reason why I rejected her and to clarify some things. So here I go:

1. The first thing I wanted to clarify is that she isn't someone who played the field during college, she did not get into a relationship until a year after her graduation and has been working. As far as I remember, she's been into one relationship that lasted for more than a year, and has been seeing other guys after, but all of their interactions where mostly on discord and other social media platforms. She is also from a religious family and is quite religious herself, so she hasn't been sleeping around. I know this because, as I've said before, we are actually close and we do talk about each other's relationships as well. If anybody should be slut-shamed, it's me. We live in a Southeast Asian country with very strong religious beliefs, and rigid traditional values including a patriarchal society that has been embedded to our history. (Not sure if I should add this information about where we are but I think it kinda helps a bit.)
   
2. When I posted that I lessened contact with her, I should have said that it was as close as to no contact with her, with me not going out with her anymore for drinks, food, etc., ignoring her messages on and just greeting her on birthdays and other occasions, and that period lasted for a year, give or take a few months. The realizations that I had when I walked away from our friendship was that I was smitten with her not because of her personality or looks, but that she was giving me attention and was kind. I felt back then that she was a good person and that I had a chance with her since we've known each other through childhood. I realized that I felt that I wanted to be with her because she would be nice enough to say yes to me. I was in a place back then where I never really talked to other women with the intent of actually dating them because for me, she was already there. Once I had free time, I started actually going out on dates, and realized that I kinda fucked up our friendship.
   
3. R told me to add this info, since he feels that the biggest reason why she asked me out, and that is that her family is pressuring her to get married, or at least be in a relationship. As I've said before, she was raised in a religious family and that family comes with societal values that seems misogynistic. She is the eldest of three siblings, and one of her younger female cousins is already engaged. I knew about her parents hounding her and how she feels about the situation, and I kinda feel stupid not thinking that this might have influenced her decision. I think I was caught off-guard by the situation to actually think about it.
   
4. I rejected her asking me out because I just don't see her in a romantic way. I think a huge part of my rejection is that I know what my preferences are now and she doesn't have that. I prefer someone who can call me out on my bullsh*t and tell me things straight to my face, and she doesn't have that in her personality, she has a hard time saying no to her parents and to the guys she's dating, unless it's something that ignores her values and such. I have also been confused about any more reasons why I rejected her, because I know she's attractive because she gets attention from other guys when we go out, and she's also a good person, in general, but honestly, I just don't have any romantic attraction to her, and I think that would be enough of a reason. She's a close friend of mine, we talk most nights, we talk about our dating life, we shit on each other's bad dates, we use each other's dating apps sometimes to look for a date for each other, and that's just it. I have been thinking about what she said, that I was trying to get back at her for the previous rejection, but I don't feel like that was what I was doing. I never wanted to hurt her, but I also don't want to be in a relationship with her.
   

Right now, I agree that she feels entitled to me and that maybe she is keeping me as a back-up. R also agrees that what she did was wrong, but that the mixture of alcohol and parents resulted in her being desperate since her actions seemed to deviate from how we knew her.
I would like to say sorry for not realizing that she may have been in the wrong headspace when she asked me out, and not telling you guys more about the situation she was in, I just thought she was handling it herself and never really thought how a situation like that could affect a person. Honestly, I would like to keep our friendship, even with the others who sent me hurtful messages, we've known each other for a long time and have seen each of us grow into adults, I just don't know how. Right now, I just want to talk to them for clarification, and how it was weird for me how she handled the rejection, (and weirder that she even asked me out in the first place) and to know everything that lead to this situation. I feel like I can only decide on what I should do once I know more about the situation.
That is all for now, i don't know if I could or would update, as any progress to this situation would start only if she talks to me again about the situation. I also feel like I should delete this post since I feel like her situation with her family is a private matter and not for me to share online, even anonymously. Thank you for all the help you guys have given me in this situation, although I am still not yet prepared to cut them off, at least for now.

I (20f) and my ex (21m) broke up on my birthday kasi I found out he cheated on me again with the same girl (F18 na now not sure ano age niya before) from December 2022 (they were a situationship on 2020 after we ended our talking stage then after things ended with them, he courted me and we became a couple)
3 years kami. Almost a year couple then 2 and a half kaming live in due to my family situation kaya sa kanila na ako tumira. His family treated me like I was their daughter, pinaramdam nila sakin yung magulang talaga at di lang pera habol sakin katulad ng magulang ko. I love my family pero mukhang pera talaga sila, even my karampot na money sa gcash noon from my work when I was 17 pinapaopen para makita na di ako nagsisinungaling na wala akong pera + nambubugbog + baliw daw ako kasi suicidal ako.
(All of these things happened while live in kami) Ff, so we broke up September 2020 kasi nagsinungalinf siya sakin na marami sila sa reunion na kasama long term ex niya. Pinayagan ko siya kasi marami sila and may guys daw but yun pala is siya lang yung guy. Nagbeg ako sa kanya to work things out, told me he wanted space, asked me to do 3some while I was begging him to come back, found out he was communicating with the girl again, then I talked to guys and nakipagmeet up sa one guy (From January to March). Yes, I admit gumaganti lang ako sa kanya and using these guys for distraction and validation that I deserve better.
Ff, we became a couple again. This time we were trying to work things out na. I had an on-site job around May til Sept. Nalaman ko around July, they were talking pala nung girl January til April. Di ko alam. Talked to the girl and told her pag nag usap ulit sila let me know and she said yes and di niya daw alam na meron pa something samin. While ginagawa niya to ako pa tinatawag na cheater when he knew na nakikipagusap ako sa iba. Ff, birthday ko September, galing akong trabaho and sabi ko wag na magcelebrate and all kasi sayang lang, pero he surprised me and also his family, okay na okay kami not until nakita ko yung girl na nagcomment sa post niya.
I messaged the girl again, told me na sinabi sa kanya binubugbog ko daw kaya naawa daw siya and parang nabad impression, nag uusap sila sa IG and TG, also found out he had another IG na di ko alam (may other ig siya na ako lang may alam), and alam ng friends niya matagal na kaming wala, 2 friends lang niya may alam na kami pa, ako pinagkakalat na cheater and abuser (when he did this shit to me pa nga nung nakikipaghiwalay ako), found out they were talking nung kami pa, nag aya magmeetup, plan ng dates nila but sakin wala, iniistory yung girl sa isang ig, adik sa girls playing with themselves on tg. I NEVER CAME BACK but magkasama kami and he’s courting me kahit ayoko.
Around Nov, I found a guy. And we became a couple. On NYE, di ko pinansin ex ko. Nag usap na kami na aalis na ko kasi di ko narin kaya kasi mas nababaliw ako sa ginagawa niya. On NYE, I was already preparing myself kausapin family niya ans also sorted things out sa family ko na babalik narin ako. He wanted another chance after ng mga ginawa niya. I found his phone when he wasn’t around pinatago sa kapatid pero luckily binigay sakin ng kapatid niya, found out nakikipag usap na sa ibang babae when he was literally BEGGING me and telling me na magpapakamatay na siya (he always does this pag ayoko na). Found out he had a lot of F videos of girls and pov ng guys fucking those girls.
LAHAT NG CHEATING NIYA SINABI KO SA MOM AND DAD NIYA BUT THEY TOLD ME IT WAS FINE SINCE HE WASN’T MEETING THEM PERSONALLY. Pero it was my choice daw. Ang alam lang nila cheating ng anak nila, di yung pagtatangka pag ayoko na and pananakit sakin.
After I left, pinapagkalat parin kung ano ano, parang kasalanan ko pa nagkaroon ako bf.
Namiss ko lang din family niya and the way they treat me as their own. Pero now I just checked my FB account na friend ko sila yesterday lang but they unfriended me na now. Also nag greet ako ng HMD pero wala man lang pansin haha it hurts. Nagtiis ako sa ex ko because of them din kasi sila naging parents ko when I was there na walang hininging kung ano sakin.
Ang sakit lang sa part ko na parang ganito na. May bago narin naman ex ko, and parehas kami happy. Pero masakit lang talaga sa hahahaha.

Background: I'm based in Texas, USA and my neighbor has a cat they bought recently, not from a shelter ( I know because he isn't neutered but us of neuterable age) he most likely isn't vaccinated. He spends most days outside, including in the heavy storms we've been having. He, after 5 days of being outside was let back in tonight.
I've been trying to go over my cities code of ordinances and such but the phrasing is- I just dont understand it easily.
He seems incredibly ravenous nowadays, has tried coming into my house on many occasions, and always greets my on my way to work and coming back from work.
If they don't have vet bills, ie neutering and vaccinations but I get them done for him, could that make him mine in the eyes of the law? If I try to take him in, how can I cover myself?
I don't make many posts, so I pray this is good on context! This baby is just worth everything I can do for him.
Learning how few laws we have to protect cats has been so infuriating!!
TLDR: my neighbors bought a cat and neglect him. How can I take him and be covered legally in Texas?

My players adopted an NPC that I never intended to have much screen time. He's a trickster cleric with Druid Magic Initiate feat. He worships a god of harmless pranks. Nothing destructive or mean-spirited. They should be laughing at the end of it, or at worst mildly annoyed. They love him because of the pranks he's already done: casting Silence on a sleeping PC so they wake up late in a hilarious way, trick the barbarian PC into believing that a raised middle finger is a casual greeting, used a disguise kit to make the fey PC resemble a god's holy animal while they spent the night in his temple so priests looked at him weird, put a sign saying "Wish me a Happy Birthday" on the back of the antisocial warlock. I don't have more pranks because he wasn't meant to last. Help!

My players adopted an NPC that I never intended to have much screen time. He's a trickster cleric with Druid Magic Initiate feat. He worships a god of harmless pranks. Nothing destructive or mean-spirited. They should be laughing at the end of it, or at worst mildly annoyed. They love him because of the pranks he's already done: casting Silence on a sleeping PC so they wake up late in a hilarious way, trick the barbarian PC into believing that a raised middle finger is a casual greeting, used a disguise kit to make the fey PC resemble a god's holy animal while they spent the night in his temple so priests looked at him weird, put a sign saying "Wish me a Happy Birthday" on the back of the antisocial warlock. I don't have more pranks because he wasn't meant to last. Help!

My players adopted an NPC that I never intended to have much screen time.... You guys know the drill. He's a trickster cleric with Druid Magic Initiate feat. He worships a god of harmless pranks. Nothing destructive or mean-spirited. They should be laughing at the end of it, or at worst mildly annoyed. They love him because of the pranks he's already done: casting Silence on a sleeping PC so they wake up late in a hilarious way, trick the barbarian PC into believing that a raised middle finger is a casual greeting, used a disguise kit to make the fey PC resemble a god's holy animal while they spent the night in his temple so priests looked at him weird, put a sign saying "Wish me a Happy Birthday" on the back of the antisocial warlock. I don't have more pranks because he wasn't meant to last. Help!