i am so concerned upon reading a recent post in here. to anyone who currently has honey, caramel, chocolate, etc. on top of their espresso machine; PLEASE make sure it is on/in a tray, cup, bowl, whatever is not going to trap heat from escaping and also big enough to catch when the tops blow off your ghira***** caramel bottles and run down the sides.
barista AND espresso machine technician speaking - be very careful with your expensive ass machines please please please. know what backflushing is, do it every close, and learn when and how to change your gaskets and screens. make sure EVERYONE is wiping and purging the steam wands EVERY TIME. the machines are literally just sweet little babies and they get treated so poorly. they are also ridiculously expensive :)
AND STOP USING YOUR TAMP TO HIT THE PORTAFILTER TO LEVEL THE GROUNDS. LOOK AT THE POOR PORTAFILTER. IT DID NOT HAVE THOSE MARKS BEFORE •••• you ••••
silly goofy rant aside, repairs for the long term damage these things cause is ridiculously expensive and slow. with no purging, boilers will get “skunked” from milk going up the steam wand and need a complete empty and clean to get the curdled milk out. steam wands will need to be taken apart and completely rebuilt. your portafilters are going to start marking the inside of your groupheads that will start leaking during shot pulls because they are not fitting as designed anymore.
if your coffee place owner is not behind daily backflushing find out the cost of a grouphead rebuild at a place near you and show them. or if they wont wipe the wand a boiler flush and steam wand rebuilds. a complete detailing. idk i just want you to protect these really cool things that are so precisely designed to move with the only intention to brew a really delicious moment to share, an opportunity to connect with someone and share energy and make someone’s day. and obvi save money (and give me time to refurbish some old really cool machines!)
gross work stories bc of things baristas and/or owners did time! and warning. ⚠️ the fried skeleton of a mouse jaw still stuck on a wire, feet stuck in chocolate originally on top of the machine, overheated, burst, melted and left for weeks inside a machine (which is why the mouse was residing in there) has happened. roaches inside 2/3rds of the automatic espresso machines. more than one client then put it in the freezer, which burst every valve, both boilers, most fittings and connections, plus my patience. a marzocco with no water flow from all 3 groups. the cause? no backflushing ever owning the machine, but one round of cafiza? chunks. pried the screen out with a knife and pliers and had to gut the gasket in chunks. baristas not purging the wand? whole machine smelling like curdled milk and not even being able to make espresso because it comes out smelling and “tasting” like bad milk. (in quotes bc i personally did not try it and say that.) steam wands not spraying, needing bent off with pliers, to find it won’t just spin off because there is rotten hardened milk all the way up the temperature probe blocking and pressing in and out of every possible place it could get to. i will make a separate post at some point about everything crazy and gross that has happened, but mainly just a straightforward guide on how to take care of your machine and the full bloopers of what happens when you don’t. i can add pics.
thank you. love u. good night.

Please let me know how this sounds 💚 I am terrible with words and terrified of public speaking sooooo I need it to sound good while I try not to pass out as I give this speech 💀
-Hello everyone! Thank you all for joining us to celebrate these two amazing individuals. Bride, you look absolutely stunning, and groom, you clean up quite nicely too!

• I know a good portion of you here with us tonight but for those I don’t know, hi my name is MOH.
  
• I met Groom and Bride in high school through mutual friends. While I hung out with bride occasionally and bumped into groom in group settings, it wasn't until a few years later that bride and I would become close.
  
• bride, It's difficult to put into words just how grateful I am for you, but ill give it my best shot. Thank you for loving me for who I am, even though I'm a bit bullheaded and stubborn. You’re the person I call when I have exciting news to share or need to vent after a tough day. I know my deepest secrets are safe with you and you’ll give me the advice I need, even when it's tough to hear. Thank you for loving my children as your own, even if they are little wild. I can never thank you enough for always being around to support me during those dark days after I had child’s name.. I don’t know how I would of made it these last 9 years with out you. While life has taken us down different paths, we have always made the best effort to keep our friendship as close as possible. Naps on the couch with the dogs and all day hangouts have turned into trips to the zoo and hour long phone calls on your drive home and even longer when you commuted for school. Just know we can never stop our wild days on the boat and ice cream runs to ___, those keep us both somewhat sane. Bride you are kind and loving, genuine to the core and never afraid to speak your mind. You are truly amazing inside and out and i’m so glad I to call you my best friend.
  
• Groom, I was unsure if we would become friends in the beginning of you and bride’s relationship. You would walk in the door without saying a word, heading straight for the computer room. Now when you walk in, you almost always have some smack to talk, so id say we’ve come a long way. You’re not the type to write some mushy Facebook post professing your love for bride, and If you did, I'd probably think you've hit your head... But words aren’t necessary to see how much you adore her. The way your face lights up when you look at her says it all. Your love for her is unconditional. Thank you for loving bride exactly as she is, for always standing by her as her biggest supporter, and for filling her days with laughter and joy. Even if that means occasionally pushing her buttons just to get a rise out of her. I could not imagine a more perfect person to be her husband.
  
• Mr. And Mrs. XXXX! I have been dying to say that all day. Thank you for allowing the kids and I to be a part of your special day. May your love continue to grow stronger with each passing day, and may your journey together be filled with laughter, joy, and endless blessings. Here's to a lifetime of happiness and cherished memories. Congratulations, Groom and Bride, I love you both. Cheers!!
  

Please let me know how this sounds 💚 I am terrible with words and terrified of public speaking sooooo I need it to sound good while I try not to pass out as I give this speech 💀
-Hello everyone! Thank you all for joining us to celebrate these two amazing individuals. Bride, you look absolutely stunning, and groom, you clean up quite nicely too!

• I know a good portion of you here with us tonight but for those I don’t know, hi my name is MOH.
  
• I met Groom and Bride in high school through mutual friends. While I hung out with bride occasionally and bumped into groom in group settings, it wasn't until a few years later that bride and I would become close.
  
• bride, It's difficult to put into words just how grateful I am for you, but ill give it my best shot. Thank you for loving me for who I am, even though I'm a bit bullheaded and stubborn. You’re the person I call when I have exciting news to share or need to vent after a tough day. I know my deepest secrets are safe with you and you’ll give me the advice I need, even when it's tough to hear. Thank you for loving my children as your own, even if they are little wild. I can never thank you enough for always being around to support me during those dark days after I had child’s name.. I don’t know how I would of made it these last 9 years with out you. While life has taken us down different paths, we have always made the best effort to keep our friendship as close as possible. Naps on the couch with the dogs and all day hangouts have turned into trips to the zoo and hour long phone calls on your drive home and even longer when you commuted for school. Just know we can never stop our wild days on the boat and ice cream runs to ___, those keep us both somewhat sane. Bride you are kind and loving, genuine to the core and never afraid to speak your mind. You are truly amazing inside and out and i’m so glad I to call you my best friend.
  
• Groom, I was unsure if we would become friends in the beginning of you and bride’s relationship. You would walk in the door without saying a word, heading straight for the computer room. Now when you walk in, you almost always have some smack to talk, so id say we’ve come a long way. You’re not the type to write some mushy Facebook post professing your love for bride, and If you did, I'd probably think you've hit your head... But words aren’t necessary to see how much you adore her. The way your face lights up when you look at her says it all. Your love for her is unconditional. Thank you for loving bride exactly as she is, for always standing by her as her biggest supporter, and for filling her days with laughter and joy. Even if that means occasionally pushing her buttons just to get a rise out of her. I could not imagine a more perfect person to be her husband.
  
• Mr. And Mrs. XXXX! I have been dying to say that all day. Thank you for allowing the kids and I to be a part of your special day. May your love continue to grow stronger with each passing day, and may your journey together be filled with laughter, joy, and endless blessings. Here's to a lifetime of happiness and cherished memories. Congratulations, Groom and Bride, I love you both. Cheers!!
  

So… a little back story. In March of 2023 my boss gave me a $17,000 bonus (which I paid taxes on). A few months ago I had asked for a raise since I have taken on some additional task and my salary is pay for 40 hours a week and I’ve been putting in 50+ hours, also taking the company phones after hours, over nights and weekends. My boss told me he wouldn’t give me a raise and I should just get a second job. Well to make ends meet I did exactly that. Since doing so, I received a job offer from another company with a higher paying position. I did not apply for this other job, the company called me and offered it to me (we do business with a company they work with and they heard about my skill set and job performance and were impressed with my attention to detail). I thought about it and decided to accept the offer since it benefits me in more way than just higher pay.
I know Oklahoma is an “at will” state as far employment/termination (if that’s the correct wording). I submitted my notice of resignation giving said company a two weeks notice. My immediate supervisor congratulated me but refused my resignation saying I needed to talk to our boss or give it to HR. I then turned it into HR and was told by them that I needed to speak with our boss about it because he was going to be upset and “we all know how he is about you” is the exact words HR told me. He is very possessive and controlling and tells everybody that I am “his”(there is a history of him crossing boundaries). When I told him I had submitted my resignation he was pissed and asked me who I was to make a decision like that without talking to him about it first, the proceeded to ask me if I had a boyfriend and seemed to get more irritated when I told him I didn’t see what my personal life had to do with my employement, but my question is, can he come back at me for the bonus? There was no terms of agreement or contract signed when I received the bonus. Also, I had 40+ hours of PTO and 60+ hours of sick time accrued but he told me he was not going to pay me for any of that time. About 10 minutes after having this conversation with him I was told that I had five minutes to get my personal belongings and get off of the company property (which I happily left).
Just not sure what to do or what to expect because I have NEVER had an employer respond like this.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/bomblebeeee
Originally posted to relationship_advice + TrueOffMyChest
My (28f) fiance (30m) is ghosting me on our wedding day. How can I calm my anxiety?
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: abandonment, mentions of mental health issues, emotional abuse and manipulation
My (28f) fiancé (30m) is ghosting me on our wedding day. How can I calm my anxiety?: May 1, 2024
TLDR at the bottom.
(28f) am getting married today to my fiance (30m). It's the legal document signing and our ceremony is on Saturday. I haven't slept in 24 hours I just am feeling so much anxiety.
For reference we were togetheliving together for about 3 years before becoming long distance for one and a half years. I'm back in the country for a week to visit him and family and to have our wedding.
For the last month he has been ghosting me for sometimes even weeks at a time. I know it's because he's going through a mental health crisis, but no matter how much I tell him his actions are causing me pain and straining our communication, he can't change. When he goes through rough times he absolutely shuts down for everyone, especially me. It hurts so much every time knowing that even the person he says is his best friend and future wife, he doesn't trust or respect enough to share or ease his pain.
I thought coming back to the country and the marriage would wake him up from his ghosting tendencies this past month, but it's not. He had a very important meeting at work yesterday that either meant he'd get a raise or be unemployed, and now I don't hear anything from him at all. He's ignoring my calls, he's ignoring my texts (and there are read receipts so I know it's intentionally ignored). It's the morning of, and we are literally set to sign our marriage paperwork in a few hours from now. But I was up all night because I can't shake the anxiety that this isn't what he wants. That hes just doing this to "appease" me despite this being a joint decision.
I still can't even get a hold or reach him. I try so hard to communicate everything with him, but this hurts me deeply, down to my core. Part of me wants to drive over to his apartment and beat his door down and just demand answers as to how he could treat someone he claims he loves this way. But I know he'd just shut down further, say he's sorry, and then bury himself deeper into his guilt and depression.
How can I be supportive through his mental health crisis while also keeping firm on the "this is 500000% some disrespectful and harmful behavior that is absolutely unacceptable" in my opinion. When we were about to be long distance he begged me to try it out because I knew his inability to properly communicate his feelings would be miserable over long distance. But he begged me and promised he would change. I would say he did improve but if this last month has shown me anything it's that I'm about to marry someone who has no qualms and sees no consequence in ghosting your spouse for weeks at a time.
This whole thing gives me so much anxiety I have no idea what to do. Any advice on how to calm my anxiety or maybe try to be more supportive to coax him out of the horrid way his depressive episode is manifesting would be greatly appreciated.
Before I forget, yes of course I've tried to get him to see a therapist or get on medication. For years. There is basically a 0% chance that, if it's coming from me or anyone in my family, he would ever listen to that advice. It's incredibly frustrating and not an option that I can even bring up with him anymore without the conversation devolving and him shutting me out even further.
(I will not be tolerating or responding to any accusations of him cheating or people just saying don't marry him. He is loyal but has a multitude of mental health issues, and I will marry him regardless of what anyone says on the internet. I just want some advice is all.)
TLDR: My fiance keeps ghosting me for weeks at a time and he's doing it again even on the day we are getting married which is causing me insane anxiety.
Edit: I won't be reading anything anymore, and please stop messaging me. If you see a woman who is genuinely struggling with something and clearly has no one else to turn to for advice other than random people on the internet and your response is to ridicule her and call her an idiot.... Then congratulations my last idea of seeking help has failed. Clearly I had no one else to go to, it's my wedding day and I'm on reddit. I don't know why I expected anything less than hate messages and ridicule. Maybe there isn't some magic way to help him through this period of grief, but I didn't think I deserved to be sent all these cruel messages so instantly. To the people messaging me and calling stupid, idiotic, doormat, and that I deserve whatever unhappy life awaits me, you've won.
Relevant Comments
Icy-Original: He’s been ghosting you for the last month and you thought marriage would fix this? You don’t want anyone here to tell you not to marry him when that’s the most logical and smart decision here. You’ve created your own misery and are determined to continue doing so so what do you want from us? We can’t make him unghost you and we can’t make you feel better about this decision you know is dumb as hell. You have a man with mental health problems that refuses to get help, that’s causing severe relationship issues and you’re willingly signing yourself up, aligning yourself legally to have more of these problems till death do you part? When you have kids and he ghost you then what are you going to do? I hope you get what you deserve from this situation. Whatever that entails.

OOP: This marriage has been planned for much longer than just the last month. It wasn't some solution I created by myself. And it isn't no contact for the whole month. Just a week of no contact before he comes back and apologizes for the absence due to unavoidable life events. Then contact for a week before another week of no contact before something else comes up. We spent the whole day together 3 days ago, but because of the meeting yesterday it's now been a day and a half of nothing again. To answer your question of what I'd like, compassion and actual helpful advice was what I was searching for. Not judgement and malice.

 
I was left at the altar yesterday: May 2, 2024
My life was great. My relationship was great. Until yesterday it suddenly wasn't. The last month felt a bit off but I didn't think it would lead to this. I still love him intensely. He still loves me intensely. He wants to stay with me it's just that he says he can't do marriage because he can't untie the trauma he has from the idea of it from his childhood (cult stuff).
My mom says I'll be a pathetic fucking loser if I still stay with him regardless and that he'll never be a part of the family. But I want to stay with him regardless. But I don't know if I can live with the constant fear, anxiety, and insecurites that will come from being with someone who can just leave whenever he feels like it.
My wedding is on Saturday and my family still wants to have it since it's more of a small family gathering already anyways (since his family wasn't invited due to cult stuff). My life as I know it feels completely over. I don't know what to do. The person I turned to for empathy and compassion turned to me screaming that I'm a fucking idiot. I'm only in the country for my wedding, I live abroad. My new job and my fiancee pressured me and reassured me I should already use my new married name professionally. I'm a teacher and all my kids already know me as his name.
Everything sucks and I can't stop sobbing.
Edit: to clarify. He left me while we were about to sign the marriage certificate. It's a symbolic left at the altar since there was never going to be an actual altar anyway.
Update: I told my mom that the way she phrased her advice/opinion was cruel. She told me she's tired of my drama and doesn't need it in her old age. I already had told her she was right and I knew what she said was right, but just that the way she said it was cruel. She said she no longer cares about maintaining a relationship with me and that it isn't worth the drama at her age. I apologized because she's right. I'm a piece of shit who never saw that this situation hurt and humiliated her too. I wanted to just have this be a nice party with friends and just spend time together. I'm going to try my best to keep my negativity inside so it doesn't spoil the mood and maybe there's a hope to salvage it as a good party. But I think once I return abroad that this will be the last time my mom will ever speak to me again. I don't know how I could repay her for all she spent on this wedding, but hopefully removing myself from her life will maybe make her life more peaceful and less stressful, even if it destroys me.
As for him, thank you all so much for your kindness, advice, and perspectives. It truly makes me feel better to read the comments even if they hurt and I deserve it. We will be talking about it tomorrow in person, and I've scheduled an emergency therapy appointment for myself for tomorrow morning. Ive never done therapy before, and I'm scared, but I know it's what I need. I'm so angry at him for ruining my entire life that I don't know if the love I have can salvage this.
Relevant Comments
Geezell: No, hon. You can’t be with someone who cannot effectively communicate their fears and needs and, instead, choose to run. He failed you. He does not get to treat you like that. You deserve better. Your Mom may have let her anger for you make her word things poorly but she is right….that dude does not get to have his cake and eat it too.
Go back home. Go no contact with him. Finish out the teaching contract as it. Then, my recommendation is to find a teaching job in a dream location. Maybe, be a traveling teacher for a few years. Heal. Live big. And, if you wish, find love again.

OOP: I am a travelling teacher already. I'm home right now just for the week so that I could do my wedding. Back to where I live abroad next week to live a life of isolation and loneliness.

thunderchaud: Please elaborate on cult stuff, that could literally be anything

OOP: He's seen marriage used as a way to entrap and oppress women due to the cult culture of his family. He doesn't understand that what he's done is created a tilted power dynamic where he's holding all the power and autonomy and I'm the scared, anxiety riddled one terrified he'll leave at any moment in any possible future we may have now. Which is honestly worse in my opinion.

detikripur: So many questions but at the top of my head is these: why did he agree to “marry” you? Why were you using a name that wasn’t yours for so long that your students know you by that name? Haven’t you talked beforehand with him? Was this relationship one sided?

OOP: He asked me to marry him. My job told me to start using his name because the school year started in April and I would be changing my name in May. I said no it felt like I'd jinx it. I called him and he said stop being such an over thinker and just use my name. I talked with him, he reassured me. It's been 3 weeks that my kids know me as that name. And to be honest yes it does feel one sided. But not in the way you're implying.

 
Update: I was left at the altar yesterday: May 8, 2024
For a brief recap, I was going to the officiant to sign my marriage license with my fiance (who I'd been with for 4 years). He chickened out and said he couldn't marry me and ruptured my image of us. TLDR at bottom.
On to the update. Since I was so brutally humiliated, it really made me think back on all the not great parts of us. He was always very gaslighty whenever I'd claim his actions reflected the opposite of his words (I respect you, I care for you). So I ended up talking to him. I asked him to define what his definition of loving someone, respecting someone, caring for someone, and trusting someone means. Needless to say they were twisted and not healthy at all. I tried to make him see that and he had a few moments of holy shit I think you're right, I don't actually trust or respect you.
Now just because he admitted it didn't mean the crazy selfish actions didn't continue throughout the entirety of the conversation. It was so crazy how I'd never been able to articulate it in a way to where he actually understood before. He actually had the gall to say "Wow we should have had this conversation a long time ago" because of how much he was realizing he was treating me like trash then gaslighting me about it. I was like bitch I've been trying to tell you this for years but you never respected me enough to listen and I was always too emotional to articulate it properly.
Anyways, he wanted to do marriage counseling with the intent to marry at the end. I told him I'd rather break up because the power dynamic is too shifted and I don't feel like it's salvageable. With how he was listening to me and finally acknowledging and understanding me and his own actions I was hopeful for maybe a friendship one day in the distant future. But after a teary, bittersweet goodbye, he absolutely ruined it with yet another selfish action right at the last moment.
I didn't want to be touched or do physical affection for multiple reasons. One of the main reasons being he uses it for comfort when he's feeling sorry for himself. I had just spent 3 hours explaining how he never thinks of me in any of his actions, and maybe it's cruel of me to keep that last kiss or whatever, but it felt selfish and manipulative to me. So after an actually heartfelt goodbye and promise to be better people in the future, we part ways. Only for him to run back to me to try and do some romantic swoop in and kiss me. I recoiled really fast and honestly just stared at him incredulously. Like he had just ignored everything I had just said. That was the moment I went from sadness and grief from losing something so important to me, to just numb and angry about it.
I haven't cried since, I don't even feel sad when I think about him because all I can think about is how angry the whole thing makes me feel. I'm 28 and feel like I wasted my good years on someone who had zero regard for me in any capacity. I developed so many new insecurities, confidence issues, and trauma from 4 years with him and now I have to navigate the dating pool again with all of that (in a foreign country no less!)
TLDR: I broke up with him and I'm just angry now.
Relevant/Top Comments
Libra_8118: How are you and your mom doing? It sounds like you left your home and family for him. Are you thinking of coming back home?

OOP: Both my family and him are in America. I left for me, my dreams, and career. I'm actually thankful that I can go back abroad to be away from him and honestly I need some time away from my mom as well.

Forward-Cockroach945: Bravo I'm so proud of you for finally ending it with him. It's likely he only "understands" you now as a form of gaslighting and trying to placate you . I know it hurts now but with time you will heal and be stronger. Don't worry about dating right now, worry about loving yourself and nurturing yourself. Give yourself all the love support and understanding you normally gave to him. You deserve it. I hope your therapy visits go well and help you build up your self worth and bullshit detector. I'm so glad to hear you took the right steps towards a healthier happier life
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

The rift between them has caused a lot of tension in my family and now my mom wants to be in the life of her newborn grandson but refuses to address or try to mend things with my wife.
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.
How do I mend this relationship between my wife and my mother?

Ok, so this is an old story that is still a matter of contention in my family. Around two decades ago when I was 12 or 13 (I don’t remember exactly), my family had a birthday party for me as was normal for me and all my cousins. One of my aunts got me my favorite candy Fannie May Pixies. Specially one of those larger boxes. Upon me opening it she immediately suggested I share one with everyone present. Which consisted of about 12-13 people. What this functionally would have meant is that I would have gotten 2 or 3 pixies for myself after sharing. Thus more or less regifting a present just given to me to the entire family. I was needless to say upset about this and refused. They proceeded to tell me I was being a spoiled brat for not literally giving up a birthday present I had just been gifted. It’s probably also worth noting we weren’t a poor family. This wasn’t like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory where this was the one time a year each of my cousins would get to taste a wonka bar.
Why I bring this up is that we had a family reunion over the weekend and this was once again brought up to tease me. I want to bring this issues to the sub to settle it one and for all. Was I the asshole? Because from where I’m standing. It feels like they bought Candy for themselves but used me as an excuse to do it. Then got salty when it didn’t play out how they planned.

tldr;Please skip to the last paragraph if you don’t want to hear the context of the story.
It finally happened. I’ve known her for 8 years and been in love with her for 4 years. This person is constantly on my mind and i can’t shake off the thought of her. She told me that she would try to attend my graduation. She was busy last week and couldn’t attend it because she was traveling to another childhood friend’s graduation and then travelled back home over the period of 3 days.
I texted her on the day of my graduation and realized she didn’t even watch it live. Adding to my despair, she didn’t even send me a ‘congratulations’ message. She didn’t text me for 3 whole days during and after my graduation and then the next text she sends is - she was tired after traveling.
I understand she was busy but a simple message takes 1 minute to send. I especially told her that i was feeling extra lonely that day because nobody was attending my graduation and i felt all alone.
I finally built up the courage and texted her saying i don’t want to be treated like a background person and she always finds something more important that me. I am always ignored and this isn’t how i want to be treated. She made excuses and eventually went offline in the middle of the conversation.
Now i’m sitting here, reflecting on all those years we’ve spent together, all those memories we’ve had together, knowing i will never share this kind of bond with anybody else. It hurts. The pain of knowing i’ve failed myself. 8 years of constant attention to the same person and in the end when they left me, what am i now? I don’t have an answer. I don’t know what to do with my day without her. I feel terrified thinking that from tomorrow, I’ll wake up everyday with things to tell her, with a desire to look into her eyes again, with a hope that we still have a chance but at the back of my mind, i know it’s over. all of it. all the effort i’ve put in all those years, all the sleepless nights i’ve had thinking of her. All the time i’ve worked on myself so that i can be a better person for her. All of it. It’s useless now. I have no purpose now. I feel like a void, crumbling on the inside and i don’t know what to do. I’m in so much pain and i literally have no one to talk to. Please suggest me how to deal with this feeling.

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Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
Chapter 239: Standing Start
A wine bottle rolled against the side of my boot.
Amidst a gallery of stunned faces and open mouths, it was easily the second most lively thing here.
The first was a clockwork doll clutching at her stomach in pain.
“Ahahahha~ ahahaha~ ahah … uck … ack … ughh … ahahaha~”
I pursed my lips.
Still, I said nothing.
For one thing, this was precisely what happened when one ate the mouldy cinnamon rolls combined with any grass growing by the side of the road. If Apple refused to eat something, then so should she.
But for another–
“What … What is this … ?”
It was because the first response was reserved for the baroness.
Her words came out in a quivering tone, matching the disbelief upon her face.
Frankly, she had to do better than that.
Only the wine from the bottle I nudged away dribbled into the soil. And also the line of drool from a comatose farmer. But I didn’t want to think about that.
Still, it was an excellent benchmark. Until her tears could properly overpower the sour aroma from the Château de Riaré Hensoise, I would deem her bawling to be incomplete.
She had a long way to go.
“How … How are you still …” she began, slowly rising from her seat. “This … This is impossible–”
I offered a tidy smile alongside a flick of my hair, relishing in the moonlight adorning my figure.
“I agree. It shouldn’t be possible. But I assure you, my skin is 100% natural.”
“E-Excuse me … ?”
“No magical enchantments. No unicorn elixirs. No witchly glamors. Just a healthy sleep schedule of however many hours I desire and a diet of fresh strawberry shortcakes.”
The baroness mouthed silently at my secrets being revealed.
A strange way of offering her gratitude. Other princesses hounded my door for this knowledge. Given her pale, blotchy skin and lips as dry as a pond in a desert, she should be pleading for more.
Instead, she pointed at the fallen drunk beside us.
“This … This shouldn’t be possible … no, wait … the clockwork doll … did she–”
She suddenly snapped towards Coppelia, her eyes widening.
“Uuh … ahaha … ugh, it hurts ... ahaha … it hurts so much … ahaha … my tummy … aha … oh no … I’m … I’m seeing daisies … aha … I … ugh … I think I need help …”
Coppelia hugged her stomach, writhing like a freshly hatched caterpillar. Her eyes darkened as hiccups of laughter assailed her defeated form.
The baroness pursed her lips.
Then, she turned to Renise instead.
“Did you–”
“A-Amazing! … I … I have no idea what you did … but it wasn’t just wonderful … it was beautiful! The colours! The warmth! It was like a rainbow come to life!”
With a smile worthy of any attendant, the maid brought her hands together in polite applause. Naturally, to be praised for my brushwork was nothing new to me. Nor was the sight of stars shining in her eyes with greater brightness than any in the night sky.
Why, that even came whenever I left my bedroom.
“You … how did … how did you defeat him … ?”
The strands of the baroness’s golden hair began to frizzle as she turned towards me. All I saw were her tonsils. Bright red and healthy. She should be pleased.
“This was … this was no common man … do you know who he is … ?”
Without offering a chance to ignore her, she stamped a foot, pointing at the fallen drunk with maddened jabs. The man offered no defence, now as spent and drained as the bottle beside him.
I raised a brow.
“Indeed, I do. He’s a farmer who made poor life choices. And between leaving his farm and offering his pitchfork to an overly ambitious baroness, the greater was you. My congratulations on being the superior mistake. I acknowledge your triumph.”
Bwam.
The baroness promptly slapped her palms down on the table.
“This man … is Willem of Hagel,” she said, her teeth gritted together. “A man desperate and cursed.”
“Yes, well, to be a peasant is a dire thing. But it could be worse. At least he isn’t nobility.”
A mouth further widened before me.
Indeed, this was a terrible time to realise her affliction. But I was no famed angel of healing for nothing. There was a cure for ambition. And it involved copious amounts of tears.
I was still waiting.
“There is no world in which you should have been able to defeat him … not if half the tales about him prove true … he is a famed opponent … all the while you are … you are …”
Suddenly, her eyes left my face for the very first time.
No longer feeling that my cheeks were in danger of being poked, she swept her eyes upon my person, as though hoping to find some blemish to signify I was as false as a field of corn.
She stopped at the sword by my side.
And also–
“A copper ring,” she said softly.
Suddenly, my 29th house of cards I was subtly constructing collapsed.
… T-The ring!
The blot on my finger! The insidious badge of shame! The symbol of the Adventurer’s Guild!
Why, I’d taken it for granted that my masterful disguise was impervious! But this was no ordinary noblewoman I was seated across!
This … This was one I’d previously sat across before!
I’d made a terrible mistake!
I was mesmerising! A beautiful princess as charming as I was modest!
There was utterly no scenario in which I’d be forgotten!
I … I should have removed the copper ring!
“O-Oho … ohoho … w-what copper ring?” I said, my hands vanishing below the table at a speed con artists could only nod at. “Ah, do you refer to the ruby inlaid ring I often carry on my hand? The one which changes colour depending on the longitude and latitude? In that case, you may very well have briefly spied something which resembled a copper hue. But it is in fact a thing of unparalleled beauty and craftsmanship. Not a disgraceful copper ring.”
The baroness slowly looked up at me, her eyes blinking.
“No. I wasn’t mistaken. I … I recognise that ring. It is a copper ring, the same size and shape as those worn by … adventurers.”
My mouth widened in horror.
At once, I immediately sought a plant pot or a heavy book. Something to immediately erase the past few seconds of her memory.
Why … if she knew my secret, then the shame would haunt me all the way until I’d found something weighing at least equivalent to a standard hardback!
“I see,” she mumbled, as much to herself as me. “I understand now …”
The baroness removed her palms from the table.
She stood up straight, a hard expression upon her face. One which calculated with each passing moment the optimal way to exploit this devastating information.
Then, she took in a deep breath–just as I began assembling the playing cards into a thick pile.
“… it must be a legendary artifact.”
As I began eyeing her temple … I blinked in non-understanding.
“Excuse me?”
She nodded, her frown harsh enough to permanently crease her skin.
“To wear such a plain, ugly and shameful ring … one which utterly demeans your history, your worth and your pride, destroying any semblance of dignity you possess–”
My hand went to my stomach, struck by as much pain as Coppelia had experienced in a single moment.
“–indeed, to wear a ring so easily mistaken as one belonging to adventurers, the vermin of the world … it must be a truly terrifying artifact.”
I blinked.
And then–
“Ohhho … ohoohho! You … You see the truth of it!”
The baroness squeezed her fists by her side.
“I knew it.”
I nodded, my bangs bouncing against my forehead.
“I-Indeed … ! This ring I carry on me … it is a masterful item of supreme quality, passed down along generations of my family! Why, its appearance matching those of rings worn by adventurers is no coincidence! Theirs are based on this very design! Although they have since tarnished it, it was forged back in the first days of the kingdom when copper was greater than gold! Poured within it is knowledge now lost to time! A power beyond compare, called upon from the depths of the Royal Vault!”
The baroness sucked in a hateful breath.
“Then that explains it,” she said with bitterness ringing throughout her voice. “You were able to defeat such a powerful adversary through the use of your family’s ancient heirlooms.”
“Indeed, this powerful ring with a rare ability I cannot disclose defeated a terrifying farmer! Therefore, there’s no need for you to relay any suggestion that I’m anything but a princess, as far removed from the Adventurer’s Guild as hygiene is to their members!”
The baroness gave no response.
A respite which lasted far too short.
“... I see, then it means the plan continues. Different, yes. But I’ll not be deterred.”
She smiled, the familiar sight of aristocratic opportunism mixed with an utter denial of facts shining within her grey eyes.
I could only react with horror.
“Plan?” I replied, convinced she was well and truly several sandwiches short of a picnic. “Do you mean the plan currently lying in a fallen heap beside us? Did you not just say I defeated your farmer? Your only plan now is to decide which part of the ground you wish to offer your forehead to.”
The baroness shook her head with renewed confidence.
“I think not. To defeat Willem of Hagel, you must have expended every effort you had available. Not a crumb of power could be spared, for to underestimate him would have resulted in your certain loss. Meaning …”
Without hesitation, she gave a multipurpose wave of her hand.
“... You’ve nothing left but a sword you cannot wield, and two retainers against all of mine. One of whom is incapacitated. The other a maid.”
She continued to keep her hand raised. Her simple call to arms.
It took several moments before she cared to even look around her.
A sad thing.
If she had, she would have realised the curiosity of her hoodlums was less than their prudence.
She would have noticed the eyes without loyalty, seeing only the fallen figure of a drunk they’d been led to believe was more than a farmer now watering the ground with his drool.
And she would have noticed the state of her dress, as dishevelled as her ambitions as those she relied upon slinked away in search of newer gutters to inhabit, following instincts she could learn as the last of their feet shuffled into the darkness.
The baroness paled.
It was far too early for that. She had no idea Apple was currently resting in her tavern, and wouldn’t be helping her haul all of the goods which needed delivering to a place less damp than here.
But I could sooth her forthcoming backache with a smile, at least for the assistance already provided.
“You have my gratitude,” I said, brushing a speck of … countryside from my lap. “For so long as the nobility continues to concoct slapdash schemes with no hope of success, the kingdom can continue to assign blame on you when all else goes wrong. When the mobs come calling and heads start rolling, it ensures a steady queue of necks can be offered before ours are reached. That is why the nobility continues to exist, you see, despite the ceaseless treason. So allow me to offer a word of advice when next you wish to survive in a position of responsibility. When fleeing, the best defence isn’t to run faster–it’s to trip the person beside you. And this means better hiring practices.”
I glanced pointedly around me.
All this empty space and not even a single eyepatched second-in-command to use as a distraction? An amateur mistake. One the baroness now realised as her mouth opened wordlessly, the realisation of her solitude only now dawning upon her.
Yet all it invited was a newly wrought defiance.
“I do not mean to flee,” she said, her fists tightly clenched. “I am Arisa Sandholt. And even should I be captured here, you would not be afforded a night’s rest. I am not alone. Whether tonight or tomorrow, this kingdom will fall. I am not alone in planning its demise.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Oh, please. Planning my kingdom’s demise is what everyone does.”
“What?”
“If it’s not being actively planned, it’s because someone’s in the middle of planning how to formulate a plan. And then once they’ve finished planning, they wonder why their plan didn’t work as planned. This is not a cause for concern. It’s a sign the world is still spinning the correct direction.”
The baroness feigned a dignified silence.
It was far too late, of course. By default, nobility had no dignity.
Still, I accepted the effort, and filled the silence with a tidy clap of my hands.
“Now, since you’ve no intention of fleeing, you can be useful instead. I’ll require a full inventory of your stock. I intend to requisition every single item you have in your possession. Every grain. Every crown. And every odd piece of tableware, carpet, candleholder and painting you might have.”
I pointed at the barn. A tragic thing to requisition. But if I was fortunate, it’d grow lacquered tiles and bay windows in the short steps between here and there.
Suddenly, the baroness’s eyes widened. The needless defiance dropped alarmingly from her face.
“Wait … what do you mean by that?”
I paused for a moment, puzzled by her reaction.
This was hardly the complicated part.
“I mean exactly what I mean. This should come as no surprise. I will be emptying every corner of the property you’ve misappropriated, including whatever manner of tunnels you’ve carved for your use. Rest assured, I’ll be employing the talents of my retainers extensively. With or without your cooperation, every single inch of your abode will be inspected by myself for the Royal Treasury’s benefit.”
She blinked between Renise and Coppelia. Although one was dressed as a maid and the other now appeared to be napping on the ground, their skills when it came to matters of unearthing valuables in my kingdom’s underbelly was not one I doubted.
Nor, from the way the baroness gulped, did she.
“I can do it,” she said suddenly.
I looked at her in confusion, uncertain what ploy this was.
“... Excuse me? Do what?”
“The items of value. I can bring them out. There’s no need to personally see to such a thing yourself.”
“While I’m in full agreement, I can hardly trust your reliability in this manner. And besides, I’ll hardly be playing the mule. I shall be supervising while closely assessing every item.”
Once more, the tonsils came out.
An appalling disregard of decorum. There was only one time that nobility was permitted to look so horrified in my presence. And that’s if they were copying my own after I discovered a list of marriage suitors posing as a napkin beneath the dessert spoon again.
“E-Even so … as the one who wronged you, I insist on not troubling a princess any further. If you give me a few moments, I can acquire the most important valuables for you in a fraction of the time you’d spend on finding them.”
“A few moments to hide them, you mean. No, I’m afraid that anything you wish to stuff beneath a floorboard will need to be appropriately examined first.”
I leaned away in mild alarm as a bead of sweat ran down the baroness’s face.
A moment later–
She finally did what only someone in her position could.
Adhering to the instincts of all nobility, she swept up her dress and suddenly dashed away.
Except it wasn’t towards the dark forest, to be lost amidst the shadows and the jaws of whatever awaited her there. It was back towards the barn.
I watched as she stumbled several times before even reaching the steps.
“... A desperate sight, no?” I said, with a sad shake of my head. “To throw away all semblance of the image she’d hoped to craft. Now she flees like a frightened towngirl. She should know that escape is now impossible.”
Beside me, Renise let out a hum.
Far from chasing after the baroness, she collected the pack of cards I’d assembled for memory wiping purposes. She began to build a house of cards.
I looked at her in puzzlement. She gave a strangely pained smile in reply.
“I believe we can offer her a few moments.”
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I’ve seen about 20 posts today about how individuals were accepted to multiple med schools, and if you’re like me you’re probably feeling envious, angry, jealous, contempt, disappointment, sad, and many other emotions. I just want to say that those feelings are valid, and you’re not alone. In 2 years I haven’t received an interview and there’s so many others just like me. Our time will come. Keep your head up and keep working hard. And congratulations to the hard working individuals getting their acceptances today!

A-16 on a packed 737-300 2.5 hour flight.
Lady in front of me goes to exit row and lays stuff across all 3 seats.
"Are you in the window"?
She says yes but she is saving the aisle for her husband. I tell her that I'll happily move his stuff to the middle but I'd like the aisle.
FA is one row in front 100% not making eye contact.
Lady harrumphs for a bit then moves to the opposite aisle and her 5' 7" self takes the exit no seat in front and arranges bags again.
I grab the aisle, give the FA some chocolate and get comfortable as the plane fills up.
Lady manages to hold on to the row to mid-C when husband finally boards, puts someone between them and share tacos and snacks across the poor guy.
But, do not let seat savers win..
Edit: sorry, 737-700...

Apart from having autism and ADHD, I (26F, turning 27 at the end of the month) also have what my previous psychiatrist called a “neurological feeding disorder”.
This is due to impaired interception (internal body sensations) from neonatal brain damage. This brain damage was caused by a hemorrhage, which also caused cerebral palsy. I also have general anxiety disorder and depression.
As a child and teen, I definitely had ARFID behaviors, which were dismissed as picky eating behaviors. It’s just that “high-level” autism, ADHD, and ARFID wasn’t diagnosed in girls in the early 2000s.
I basically lived on a “beige diet” of cereal, bread, snack cakes, pasta, pizza, and some meat, like chicken strips or cheeseburgers. I wouldn’t eat sandwiches, eggs, seafood, fruits, or vegetables, except for peas and white potatoes.
I was somewhat underweight until high school, and I remember my mom would always offer me “chocolate milk” (Pediasure / Ensure) when I was younger. I then gained weight in high school due to depression and just generally eating processed food. At my highest weight in school, I was 135 pounds.
Here’s some backstory about where things started to shift. Trigger warning for numbers, skip over if needed.
///
That carb-heavy diet was up until I turned 24, when I first tried a keto diet for mental health. Things were going really well, until I eventually developed malnutrition from losing too much weight unintentionally. My height is 4’8” tall.
I went from 110 pounds (BMI 25) and 28% body fat to 90 pounds (BMI 20) and 20% body fat in 10 months. October 2021 to August 2022. I couldn’t get warm worth a damn from subnormal body temperatures, and I lost my period at around 95 pounds.
Even so, a calorie intake of 1000-1200 per day on top of 2-3 miles of walking (daily activity and steps) would have eventually lead to relative energy deficiency (RED) at some point because I never knew about planning scheduled refeeding periods to mitigate the down-regulation in metabolism.
Especially when considering that my hunger signals are impaired due to my brain damage. My interception is about half as sensitive as normal. I don’t really feel stomach hunger until it’s very strong. Lots of times, I can hear the noise before I actually feel it. And I can’t say that I’ve ever identified satiety correctly before.
I didn't know that low-calorie interventions shouldn't be done for months at a time without proper nutritional supervision to prevent deficiencies.
Then I gained 20 pounds in 14 months from October 2022 to December 2023 (93 to 113) after having my previous IUD removed, stopping keto, and hormonal eating patterns once I realized that I had PMDD when my period resumed in July 2023 once I had gained back enough weight.
///
Now, I do my best to meet my keto macros and make sure that I get enough calories every day.
I try not to eat under 1200 kcal and keeping a food log helps keep me accountable that I’m not under-eating due to not feeling hungry. Logging wasn’t something that I did last time. I also keep up with my electrolytes, because being in ketosis is very diuretic and sheds electrolytes quickly due the carb restriction.
However, my current diet is relatively… limited, to put it lightly. I mostly eat heavy cream in coffee, heavy-cream ice cream, cream cheese, eggs, and some kind of meat every day to meet my protein requirements. This isn’t the previous “beige diet” of my youth, but rather what I call a “heavy cream diet”.
I used to be hypersensitive to flavors and textures when I was younger, for example, I never ate salads before the age of 24, but that switch “flipped” when I started having reactive eating episodes when I was underweight.
I started eating sandwiches, spicy foods, and seafood, all of which were foods that I was previously very avoidant of, to the point of having anxiety attacks when seeing the shells in shellfish.
Those reactive eating episodes really showed the kind of primal need for food that malnutrition does to the brain, because the body needs a lot of calories to gain back weight while underweight.
Now, instead of avoiding fruit/veg and shellfish, I still avoid sweet fruits, starchy veggies, nuts/seeds, peanut butter, and any other kind of carb food.
I avoid eating because the food isn’t enjoyable anymore. Instead of being hypersensitive, it feels like I’m now hyposensitive, like I just have a general disinterest in food, apart from the usual low appetite. Even when I try to focus, sometimes I can’t mentally “taste” the food.
I can also eat quickly because I can’t feel the food inside my stomach, which makes pacing difficult.
I’m also currently averse to cold coffee because my mouth just says no to for some reason, which may be because my mom explained that cold coffee is less acidic than hot coffee (she was a barista) and tastes different?
However, I will get what I call “vagus hunger” after passing a bowel movement, and I’ll get very hungry. It’s a very distinct feeling, and it’s one of the few times that I can clearly recognize the feeling of hunger.
I eat only one or two “meals” per day, not including the “fat boluses” like cream, oil, or butter that I eat straight or put in my coffee during the day to maintain my ketone levels. The fat helps because I have neurological delayed bowel motility and I take GI meds to manage this.
By the way, I’m using “avoidant” to describe sensory overstimulation, and “averse” to describe choking/nausea symptoms, as that’s what I was previously taught in speech therapy when I when for a few sessions when I was 24 due to neurological swallowing spasms.
Does this sound like ARFID behaviors? OSFED? Where is the line between an “eating” disorder and a “feeding” disorder, if there is one? I was always told that my circumstances were FD related, not ED related, but no one ever explained the difference. Apparently, ARFID isn’t on the ED side, but rather the FD side?
I wouldn’t want to say that I have orthorexia, even though I have some food rules, because I literally eat butter to increase my calories, and that seems against the premise of “healthy foods” even though it’s perfectly acceptable within a keto context.
At the mental health practice I’m currently with, the former psychiatrist left, and the practice is still waiting on a new one. But I want to bring this all to the attention of my psychologist, who knows about my longstanding feeding issues, and then the new psychiatrist, whenever they get hired.
Advice is appreciated, and my chats are open if you don’t want to publicly comment. Thanks in advance!

My(36f) mom has a history of being both emotionally and physically abusive through out my childhood. As a kid she put so much pressure on me to perform in school. I was punished for anything less than an A. A bad report or a bad grade at school would usually result in some sort of abuse. When I went to college she said I needed be a doctor or a lawyer or a career where I could "make money." She was deluded into thinking I could do a STEM career even though I couldn't even pass an algebra class. I basically failed out of college.
It was a big deal for me to face my fear and re-enroll in my 30s. I just finished my masters degree and passed the licensure exam on the first try. My mom sent me a happy birthday text and I let her know that I had graduated and all she sent me was a "congratulations" text. She didn't call me or ask any follow up questions or ask about the ceremony. She wasn't remotely curious. My boyfriend asked the other day if my mom was coming to the ceremony. I started crying when I told him she didn't even ask.
I started daydreaming the other night wondering what it would take to get a phone call from her saying she was happy for me. Like would she be happy for me if I got married or had a baby?
After all this time I think I secretly believed if I could finish grad school she would finally give me the validation or recognition. But she couldn't care less, she didn't even do anything and it still hurt me. It sucks that this is one of the biggest accomplishments of my life and I am realizing I'm still holding out for my mom to be my mom. It is unintentionally super sad.

Hello Reddit!
I wanted to share our adventure with you because we moved one year ago from Germany to Guatemala – and it was the best decision of our lives.
First of all, I have to say that Guatemala is a country with a bad marketing reputation. It's often underestimated and overlooked, but believe me, it's a true paradise. We've traveled to many other Latin American countries, but not all of the hyped places could compare to the beauty and diversity of Guatemala. Beside that, we never feel unsave.
Antigua, with its charming cafes and restaurants like Caoba Farm, is a place you simply must love.
Then there's Lake Atitlan, a gem surrounded by mountains. Here you'll find not only breathtaking landscapes but also the best cocoa at La Casa de Chocolate and delicious pupusas at the market.
For beachlovers and surfers, El Paredon is an absolute must. The beach is one of the best we've ever seen, and BarriOceano is a hidden gem for great accommodation right on the beach with a pool.
Guatemala is simply a place to enjoy and experience. There's so much to discover and explore, and we don't regret a second of moving here.
So, if you're looking for a new adventure, you should definitely consider Guatemala. You won't regret it!
Warm regards from beautiful Guatemala! 🇬🇹

Is this cookie supposed to have chocolate chips? On the app, it says it does, but the cookie I got was just toffee (as a lot of the pictures on here look like).
Not actually complaining, as the cookie was amazing regardless, just curious.

First of all, let’s get this out of the way. Gojo let sukuna “kill” him. He actually knew everything that would happen, but let sukuna think he killed Gojo so that in case his students failed, Gojo could come and clean up. This won’t happen obviously because my lord and savior todo has returned, so Gojo can watch from the sidelines and relax. Anyone who dies as a result has been weeded out as far as goatjo is concerned
Now, let’s get into the meat here. We’ll start with some random fighting, blah blah blah, and then out of nowhere Yuji opens his domain. what is his domain you might ask? Simple. Infinitesimal, the opposite of infinity. When opened, instead of information being entered into your mind, information is taken from it. Sukuna gets caught in the domain for .7 seconds, rendering him more mentally incapacitated than Gege himself (and that’s saying something). Todo then congratulates his bruzza, and they do some dope ass acrobatic type shit to get close to sukuna (sukuna is still able to barely function so they can’t let their guard down). All of the sudden, when todo is about to deliver the final blow, BOOM, world slash, both todo’s arms are gone and he goes flying. Yuji gets fucked up, is lying on the ground unable to move. Sukuna is fully recovered, walks over and is now standing over Yuji. Suckuna is no longer worried about todo being able to get near due to having no hands to utilize his technique.
Now you might be asking, how do they get out of this? What ass pull will be used? Well, not an ass pull, per se, but just as sukuna is about to finish Yuji, todo claps his own fucking ass cheeks, swaps with Yuji, Yuji uses his blood manipulation directly through sukuna’s eyes, temporarily blinding him, and todo opens HIS OWN domain (holy shit where did that come from??). It’s a bunch of beautiful women in a line, and the condition of the domain is so powerful, it is inescapable even with a binding vow. Only one way out: Choose the right type. Todo asks sukuna his type. There is only one right answer. Sukuna mulls over the decision, but chooses unwisely. This grants Todo one wish. We don’t get to hear what the wish is, but sukuna proceeds to suffer the most violent death in manga history at the hands of what can only be described as a god filled with rage beyond comprehension. Also nobara comes back.
The end

He’s 4 and a half and will still only eat baby food for most of his nutrients. Absolutely refuses anything considered table food. There are no family meals in my household, neither my husband or I were raised that way so we basically eat when we are hungry and eat whatever we can wrangle up. The kids eat get whatever is available that they fancy too. Back to the preschooler- so apart from the purées, he eats a few fruits, chocolate milk 2x a day, cheese, yogurt, fries, air fried plantain, the occasional cucumber and chips (bbq lays, cheezit’s , goldfish, pretzels). That’s literally his diet. If I want him to eat anything else I have to blend it and add apple sauce. He will eat that gladly. The pediatrician says it’s normal but I don’t think it is?! Help!

Hello, good folks of Baking! I'm a definite amateur but I enjoy whipping up snacks for people from time to time. Throughout my life, one of the bakes that I've enjoyed the absolute most was red velvet. I mean, it helps that throughout my childhood my favourite colour was red, but it also tastes lovely, it's light and fluffy, it's got that little tang that sets it apart from just a dyed chocolate cake. However, throughout my life I have also been plagued by this wonderful cake's unfortunate association with that most wicked and vile of substances: the dreaded cream cheese.
Okay, bits aside, cream cheese has unfortunately never agreed with my taste buds, making it quite the rare red velvet cake where I can actually stand to eat the frosting along with the cake. I mean, I've always preferred a higher ratio of cake to frosting, but with red velvet it's just dreadful. I've looked at some recipes online with various alternative frostings, but there are a few different options and I sorta stalled out. I mean, it's not like I could ask the online recipe writers which type of alternate frosting is the best, they'd all just say their own, surely! So I thought I'd ask here. What sort of frosting alternate to cream cheese would best marry up with the red velvet cake, and why?