I met my girlfriend 1 year ago and I've had amazing time with her traveling to many countries, doing new activities together and just normal daily life with her is fun. It's been a long distance relationship and we see each other every 2-3 weeks. We are both physicians and of the same culture and ethnicity which is hard to find. She has become my best friend, we both love each other, I get along well with her family and everything is great...except for the sex.
In the beginning the sex was "ok" for me, it definitely wasn't the best sex I've ever had but because she was so amazing in other ways, it didn't bother me. I told myself not many people have sex anyway after 10 yrs or after kids and that it's the other parts of a relationship that matters more. Fast forward to our vacations together and we still had the same issue. I could be at a beach resort, super horny, want to have sex with her, but then not be able to orgasm or stay hard. I've never had this issue before in my prior relationships. I can be hard before during the foreplay, but as soon as I go inside, I don't feel anything, so I become soft or continue thrusting until I get tired. I usually have her organsm through clitoral stimulation first before I go inside her.
Eventually it got to the point where I didn't want to have sex with her, made excuses that I was tired, either from driving the 4 hrs to see her or from work or that it was too late. I feared having sex because I knew if it was unsuccessful then we would be that much closer to breaking up. I've been so successful with my life that when we had these days where the sex didn't work out I felt like such a loser and become depressed for the rest of the day. This has even happened on vacations, a time when I'm usually at my happiest. I felt like Ethan in White Lotus season 2 who is super successful, but has a boring relationship, watches porn, ignores his wife who wants to have sex. It was sad and hit me hard.
With my prior relationships with ex's, I never had a issue with sex even with my penis being on the small side. My ex's would all be surprised how good the sex was, would call me a porn star, and I would have sex almost every time I met my partner. It's very different picture in my current relationship.
I've constantly been thinking about why the sex sucks now vs my prior relationships. At first i thought it was her weight and the fact that I can only do one position with her and that I couldn't go as deep because of a fat pad. Then I thought it was because my sex drive was not high enough since i wasn't working out as much. Then I was thinking it was the stress of my board exams. Then I thought it was psychological and the fear of breaking up. I got a pill for Viagra to see if that would help and it didn't. I've tried different positions but that didn't work well. I'm now at a loss and think we are just physically incompatible. My penis is on the small end and I can't feel anything when I am inside her. She admitted she can't feel anything either. I guess I can try not wearing a condom (after she goes on birth control) and she can try kegels, but again that's putting the blame on her which is not my intention. And there's no guarantee that kegels will help.
I think if it wasn't for the sex issue I would have already been shopping around for a ring.
When we talked about this, she has decided she is willing to give up a sex life at 30 for me. Her thinking is that no relationship will be perfect and at least she knows with me, this is what she has to give up and yes she can find someone else but even that one will not be perfect and there will be something she will have to give up. She's still unhappy about it. She said she will masturbate, I can masturbate but continue to try to make it work. My thoughts are that she's still only 30, she can definitely find someone else who has better sexual compatibility and she shouldn't be giving up on her sex life because of me. I'd understand if we had kids already or we were 10 years into a relationship, but sometimes I feel like it's only been a year, maybe she's not the one for me. I'm 32, my options are getting limited, but I'm unsure if I want a life of a dead bedroom for a companion. I'm worried that this will cause resentment for both of us and lead to either infidelity or divorce which being a physician, could still financially ruin me since I still make twice as much as her. I've always been told the key to financial success is one wife.
She is moving states to live with me in a month. She has a job lined up to start in a few months. However, my parents (who do not know what they want to do in life and have no house or job) are currently living with me. Under no circumstances will my gf live with my parents, no do I want her to. So my parents will have to move out which really feels like I have to kick my parents out in order to make room for my girlfriend. My fear is that we can continue trying to work out the sex and that if she moves in with me and we break up while she is with me, she will have no where to go. No friends in the area. 6 month notice for her contract. I'm at a loss. If we don't live together, we can't work out out sexual issues.
If I also break up with her, I fear I won't find anyone else who can give me the same amount of love. I'm old, bald, short, dating apps don't work for me, and living in a rural area.
Tldr: Girlfriend of 1 year is my best friend and perfect for me but we already have a dead bedroom. She's also moving states to live with me and start a new job in a month. In order for her to move in with me, I have to kick out my parents. If she doesn't move in with me, we can't figure out the sex part.

I am struggling so bad I need help right now. I’m 18 and i’m 99% sure I have PCOS (i have cysts on my ovaries, hormonal acne, hair loss, pelvic pain, irregular periods, high cortisol, loss of libido).
Mainly the thing that is causing me the most torment is the loss of libido, although I do feel like the root of all my symptoms is PCOS / high cortisol. I have little to no libido. Depending on my cycle, my libido goes up a little when I ovulate and then back down to almost 0 the rest of the time (occasionally goes up a bit again right before my period). This is a huge problem for me for several reasons.

1. I have a boyfriend and I want to WANT to have sex with him. It honestly feels like my brain is telling me I should want this but my body is just like no you’ll be fine without it. He is so kind and never pressures me into anything and he tries to help me and does research for me and everything and it hurts that I can’t have a similar sex drive to him. When I do have sex with him, there are times when things don’t exactly go the way they should (for example I can’t get wet at all or I’ll be wet and then dry up. when i ovulate i don’t really have this issue). I don’t expect sex to be perfect but it’s frustrating when this happens more often than I feel it should be happening, and I usually feel let down and like I’m letting him down.
2. I’m 18 and I’ve never really even felt an urge to masturbate so I never did. When I started dating my boyfriend, I was pretty eager to explore but as time when on and I got comfortable with the new things I tried, it sort of dwindled out so that I no longer felt any urge to try anything or continue anything. I’ve never properly masturbated. Recently I’ve been trying to do it on my own to learn what I like but it is a struggle. Rarely do I feel turned on when I try, it’s mostly just me trying to “show up for myself” and be consistent with trying (if I don’t try and be consistent, I’ll never feel the urge to masturbate). When I actually masturbate, there is no pleasure. Literally no pleasure. I know the clit is supposed to have all these nerve endings, but when I masturbate I either feel nothing or this odd sensation (my clit gets very sensitive and it’s not pleasant). I’ve tried to focus on this sensation and get past it in the hopes that maybe it’ll turn to pleasure, but it never does. Instead, my body starts to jerk and jump like a reflex to stop because of how not pleasant the sensation is. I’ve tried both direct clitoral stimulation (too sensitive) and non-direct clitoral stimulation (don’t feel anything). Also, because it’s hard for me to get turned on, I can’t really get wet (I’ve used lube before which helps). I’ve tried a vibrator, watching *videos* of my boyfriend and I, solely using my imagination. I’ve tried different motions and movements and speeds with my fingers and nothing works or stands out. It feels like my clit has no pleasure nerves or something. I just can’t seem to find what works for me in terms of both pleasure (tried using my fingers / vibrator in various ways but nothing stands out or brings me pleasure) and arousal (the different ways to get turned on, nothing really works). When nothing happens, I end up feeling really down and not wanting to try again.

Important things to note:

• It’s much easier to get turned on when my boyfriend is doing things to me, because when I try it by myself my mind wanders
  
• Yes, I do find my boyfriend attractive
  
• Yes, sex is pleasurable for me but my body reacts oddly sometimes (drying up). And despite knowing that sex is pleasurable for me, it’s hard for me to actually want it. Once I get going, I love it though but I still know there’s supposed to be more to it.
  
• I take various vitamins / supplements (vitamin c, vitamin d3, biotin, a magnesium calcium zinc complex, and most recently “hers libido supplements desire” with ashwagandha, L-citrulline, ginkgo biloba, and damiana leaf but I haven’t noticed any drastic changes between taking it and not)
  
• Also something important is that when my boyfriend fingers me, I do squirt but it only feels like I’m peeing myself and there is no other pleasure in it (other than maybe the “sweet relief” feeling that everybody gets when they feel like they have to pee and then do) aka I am not orgasming. While he is actively fingering me, I do find that enjoyable just like penetration. But I know there is supposed to be more to it, I know there is supposed to be more pleasure when it comes to both clitoral stimulation and squirting / coming
  
• Once we finish having sex or I finish squirting, it can get pretty dry and uncomfortable down there so even if we want to go again and he turns me on, my body still can't get wet and we have to use lube
  
• I’m going to have a talk with my gynecologist about all this but I do have a feeling she will be pushing towards birth control, because she was already pushing for it to get rid of my cysts and to regulate my hormones. I’m not against birth control and if necessary, I will go on it but I’d prefer for that to be a last resort. Ideally I’m hoping for natural remedies that can heal the root cause of all my symptoms, especially my loss of libido, but I’m also at a point where I will take what I can get (something that will actually give me results and doesn’t take years to see results)
  
• I have high cortisol / stress so I also need ways to lower that because I think that part of the reason I can’t masturbate / orgasm is mental and I’m scared to “lose control” of myself in that way. However, I believe this mental block is unrelated to the fact that I just can’t feel pleasure down there
  
• Just to be absolutely clear, i have NEVER orgasmed and never felt close to it
  

TL;DR…
I’m 18 years old and I am pretty sure I have PCOS since I have several symptoms. The symptom causing me the most issue is my loss of libido. I have little to no libido. My libido will go up a bit when I’m ovulating but other than that, I would say it is very low. I have a boyfriend and I want to WANT to have sex with him—my brain tells me that I should want this but my body reacts as if it could be fine without it. I want to have a higher sex drive and it hurts that we’re not on similar levels. When we do have sex, sometimes things go wrong (I can’t get wet enough or I’ll be wet and then dry up). I don’t expect sex to be perfect but it’s frustrating when this happens more often than I feel it should be happening, and I usually feel let down and like I’m letting him down. Aside from this, I’m 18 and have never really felt an urge to masturbate and so therefore never orgasmed. Recently I’ve been trying to do it on my own to learn what I like but it is a struggle. I don’t really feel turned on when I decide to try, and when I do masturbate, I am both not wet and there is literally no pleasure ever. I either feel nothing or my clit gets super sensitive and it is not pleasant. I’ve tried to focus on this sensation and get past it in the hopes that maybe it’ll turn to pleasure, but it never does. Instead, my body starts to jerk and jump like a reflex to stop because of how not pleasant the sensation is. I’ve tried different things: direct clitoral stimulation, non-direct clitoral stimulation, using a vibrator, watching *videos* of my boyfriend and I, using just my imagination, doing different motions and speeds. Nothing works. It really feels like my clit has no pleasure nerves or something. I just can’t seem to find what works for me in terms of both being pleasuring myself and arousing myself. When nothing happens, I end up feeling really down and not wanting to try again.
Important things to note:

• It’s much easier to get turned on when my boyfriend is doing things to me, because when I try it by myself my mind wanders
  
• Yes, I do find my boyfriend attractive
  
• Yes, sex is pleasurable for me but my body reacts oddly sometimes (drying up). And despite knowing that sex is pleasurable for me, it’s hard for me to actually want it. Once I get going, I love it though but I still know there’s supposed to be more to it.
  
• I take various vitamins / supplements (vitamin c, vitamin d3, biotin, a magnesium calcium zinc complex, and most recently “hers libido supplements desire” with ashwagandha, L-citrulline, ginkgo biloba, and damiana leaf but I haven’t noticed any drastic changes between taking it and not)
  
• Also something important is that when my boyfriend fingers me, I do squirt but it only feels like I’m peeing myself and there is no other pleasure in it / no orgasm. While he is actively fingering me, I do find that enjoyable just like penetration. But I know there is supposed to be more to it, I know there is supposed to be more pleasure when it comes to both clitoral stimulation and squirting / coming
  
• Once we finish having sex or I finish squirting, it can get pretty dry and uncomfortable down there so even if we want to go again and he turns me on, my body still can't get wet and we have to use lube
  
• I’m going to have a talk with my gynecologist about all this but I do have a feeling she will be pushing towards birth control, because she was already pushing for it to get rid of my cysts and to regulate my hormones. I’m not against birth control and if necessary, I will go on it but I’d prefer for that to be a last resort. Ideally I’m hoping for natural remedies that can heal the root cause of all my symptoms, especially my loss of libido, but I’m also at a point where I will take what I can get (something that will actually give me results and doesn’t take years to see results)
  
• I have high cortisol / stress so I also need ways to lower that because I think that part of the reason I can’t masturbate / orgasm is mental and I’m scared to “lose control” of myself in that way. However, I believe this mental block is unrelated to the fact that I just can’t feel pleasure down there
  
• Just to be absolutely clear, i have NEVER orgasmed and never felt close to it
  

I'm sorry I know this is long just please help me I'm desperate

So, I had my consultation with the Lubos clinic yesterday. I think the wait time was about 6 months but I had to have it rescheduled ,so about 8 months ish. I had my consultation with Dr. Merz. Ideally I would've wanted it with Oliver Markovsky but I figured this would work just as well. Me and my support person are from Denmark so there's roughly a 10-12 hour drive from Denmark to Munich so we turned it into a road trip which was really nice.
We slept at a hotel in Pasing the day before and went to the clinic. It took a second to find the clinic, it's on a corner in the city and looks pretty nice. They got this wood floor and wide stairs with wide steps, overall a nice building. My appointment was at 9am and when we got there we had to fill out some consent forms, you know some basic stuff like that they're allowed to read your medical stuff etc. Around 9:30am I got to talk to the Dr. Merz. Firstly he asked me some basic questions about where i live, if i'm right or left handed, insurance etc. Then showed me this presentation with pictures and went over the basic steps of it all.
Typically the first surgery would consist of making the “Klitpen” as they call it and UL (Similar to metoidioplasty) as well as removing everything inside (hysterectomy, v-nectomy etc.) Altho I don't want v-nectomy or hysto, just ovaries removed. Altho he recommended I get my fallopian tubes removed as well because of cancer risks and such.
Plus/minus fallopian tubes doesn't make a whole lot of difference to me. Then in the second surgery would be where they take the skin graft itself, from the arm (RFF) or thigh (ALT) I asked and they only do those two methods, and yes they only do these two methods. And then he describes something I don't think I've heard before. They’d more or less invert the Klitpen and have it re-emerge higher up than it was previously located.
The doc was impressed at how fast I understood that btw, he said it took him longer to understand how that works, which ofc made me kinda happy ☺️ Ive been researching this stuff for what, almost 4 years at this point. But the best way I can describe it is after the Klitpen has been inverted and re-emerges higher up that's when they connect everything together with the graft as well as UL.
To my understanding doing UL with the klitpen first makes this whole inversion process easier (I think?) When they connect everything they do a nerve hook-up with the clitoral nerve and this other nerve called v. ilioinguinal nerve.
After that the third surgery is glansplasty and scrotoplasty. I asked about VY scrotoplasty vs Bifid and Dr. Merz said they do whichever fits my anatomy best. Basically if they can tell one would work better than the other they'll do whichever is best for the individual. On one hand I really want bifid scrotoplasty but it's also somewhat comforting to know if that wouldn't give me a good outcome that they wouldn't do that just because I said so. But he did say I could make requests, so if I really want bifid they'll see what they can do.
The fourth surgery is the erectile implant, and like Dr. Liedl at Planegg they recommended the pump over the rod but it sounded like they could do either. He also mentioned a Belgian study that showed the pump usually breaks after ~5 years rather than 10 years as they used to think. So it is something I'd need replaced. I asked him loads of questions and I wrote down as much as possible.
I asked about the expected size and he said the graft they take is ~15 cm or 16 cm but that usually most end up with ~12 cm because there's some hormone in the skin that makes it shrink. But he also said cis German men have about 13 cm on average so I wouldn't stand out. In terms of the diameter the expected size is 3,5cm so ~10.9cm circumference.
The waiting time from you show up with the indication letter ( which is all they need to proceed ) is about 6 months. They do accept if someone wanted/could pay out of pocket but but it seemed very much like they'd prefer Insurance. As for costs, I got an email from them a couple hours after leaving the clinic detailing everything in terms of costs. Altho in german ( I'm not that good at German yet so I don't understand it ) but I can read the numbers.
The first surgery aka the Klitpen comes to about €15,5k. The second surgery is €30,7k aka the creation of the phallus itself. the third surgery is €10,5k and the fourth surgery aka the erectile implant is €16,2k. So all costs would be around ~€73k total. I got my support person to translate some of the basics and it says those are the average prices and that it can change based off of the person. So for example if you have complications it can easily get more expensive.
It also said self-paying folks need to have the money up-front for each surgery. So not the full 73k but for each individual surgery. Also that when you don't have insurance certain stuff will be different. I also asked him about UL and grafts and how they usually take some part of the vaginal canal and use it for UL, which he confirmed they did.
But he said if I wanna keep my vaginal canal then they generally wouldn't do that and using the minora instead was fine. He also confirmed that after the surgeries and such penetration might not be possible and that they could do a surgery to try to open it up a bit if that's something I'd want but that even with the surgery to open it up more it's not a guarantee.
In terms of post-OP sensation he said that in the phallus there would always be most sensation where the klitpen was burried. ( we also briefly talked about the term “burried” he thought it sounded so tragic lol ) in terms of where the skin graft, he explained after they've taken the skin from the arm they'll take a strip of skin from the stomach and put over the donor site ( that's what I believe its called anyway)
Then they'll sew stuff together and basically to my understanding you'd loose some belly from it. The scar you'd get from the skin they take from the belly would be a line on the belly in a place where your swim trunks would cover them according to Dr. Merz. Personally I'm okay with that. I've been considering getting a tattoo in that area anyway.
As for recovery time, I didnt get a clear answer cause he said it'd be in the email ( it wasn't ) but from what I remember I think he said you might expect to stay in the hospital for up to a week or two depending on which surgery you get. On one of the slides he showed it said there's about 6-12 months between each surgery ( so if there's 4 surgeries total excluding compilation that means it takes between 2-4 years from first surgery till you're finished )
I also asked about medical tattooing and he said that's not something they do or cover, and he believed insurance wouldn't cover it either. He didn't know any clinics to go to etc. all he could say is that you should probably wait 1-2 years before getting medical tattooing (on your phallus).
Dr. Merz also said they do about 140-150 phalloplasties per year and showed some statistics and damn it looked good. In terms of satisfaction most gave it an 8, 9 or 10 (in that order) and there was no one who gave it a score under 4. In terms of sensation ~40% of people had 20-50% sensation and ~35% had 50% or more.
In terms of satisfaction with orgasm ~30% gave it a 10, ~17% gave it an 8 and ~16% gave it a 9. Very few gave anything below that. In terms of problems with peeing almost 60% never had issues with peeing and less than 15% had occasionally and even less percentage of people had it often.
I think that's all the info. I'll make an edit if there's anything I remember.
After the consultation I only had to pay €50 because I asked for some papers but I don't think the consultation itself cost anything? If it does I haven't been billed yet at least. That's all for now. Hope it's helpful to y'all. I also wrote a post about how it was to go and see Dr. Liedl at Planegg if you wanna read that, link to it here
If there's anything I didn't cover that you'd want to know, feel free to ask, I'll try to answer as well as I can.

So, I had my consultation with the Lubos clinic yesterday. I think the wait time was about 6 months but I had to have it rescheduled ,so about 8 months ish. I had my consultation with Dr. Merz. Ideally I would've wanted it with Oliver Markovsky but I figured this would work just as well. Me and my support person are from Denmark so there's roughly a 10-12 hour drive from Denmark to Munich so we turned it into a road trip which was really nice.
We slept at a hotel in Pasing the day before and went to the clinic. It took a second to find the clinic, it's on a corner in the city and looks pretty nice. They got this wood floor and wide stairs with wide steps, overall a nice building. My appointment was at 9am and when we got there we had to fill out some consent forms, you know some basic stuff like that they're allowed to read your medical stuff etc. Around 9:30am I got to talk to the Dr. Merz. Firstly he asked me some basic questions about where i live, if i'm right or left handed, insurance etc. Then showed me this presentation with pictures and went over the basic steps of it all.
Typically the first surgery would consist of making the “Klitpen” as they call it and UL (Similar to metoidioplasty) as well as removing everything inside (hysterectomy, v-nectomy etc.) Altho I don't want v-nectomy or hysto, just ovaries removed. Altho he recommended I get my fallopian tubes removed as well because of cancer risks and such.
Plus/minus fallopian tubes doesn't make a whole lot of difference to me. Then in the second surgery would be where they take the skin graft itself, from the arm (RFF) or thigh (ALT) I asked and they only do those two methods, and yes they only do these two methods. And then he describes something I don't think I've heard before. They’d more or less invert the Klitpen and have it re-emerge higher up than it was previously located.
The doc was impressed at how fast I understood that btw, he said it took him longer to understand how that works, which ofc made me kinda happy ☺️ Ive been researching this stuff for what, almost 4 years at this point. But the best way I can describe it is after the Klitpen has been inverted and re-emerges higher up that's when they connect everything together with the graft as well as UL.
To my understanding doing UL with the klitpen first makes this whole inversion process easier (I think?) When they connect everything they do a nerve hook-up with the clitoral nerve and this other nerve called v. ilioinguinal nerve.
After that the third surgery is glansplasty and scrotoplasty. I asked about VY scrotoplasty vs Bifid and Dr. Merz said they do whichever fits my anatomy best. Basically if they can tell one would work better than the other they'll do whichever is best for the individual. On one hand I really want bifid scrotoplasty but it's also somewhat comforting to know if that wouldn't give me a good outcome that they wouldn't do that just because I said so. But he did say I could make requests, so if I really want bifid they'll see what they can do.
The fourth surgery is the erectile implant, and like Dr. Liedl at Planegg they recommended the pump over the rod but it sounded like they could do either. He also mentioned a Belgian study that showed the pump usually breaks after ~5 years rather than 10 years as they used to think. So it is something I'd need replaced. I asked him loads of questions and I wrote down as much as possible.
I asked about the expected size and he said the graft they take is ~15 cm or 16 cm but that usually most end up with ~12 cm because there's some hormone in the skin that makes it shrink. But he also said cis German men have about 13 cm on average so I wouldn't stand out. In terms of the diameter the expected size is 3,5cm so ~10.9cm circumference.
The waiting time from you show up with the indication letter ( which is all they need to proceed ) is about 6 months. They do accept if someone wanted/could pay out of pocket but but it seemed very much like they'd prefer Insurance. As for costs, I got an email from them a couple hours after leaving the clinic detailing everything in terms of costs. Altho in german ( I'm not that good at German yet so I don't understand it ) but I can read the numbers.
The first surgery aka the Klitpen comes to about €15,5k. The second surgery is €30,7k aka the creation of the phallus itself. the third surgery is €10,5k and the fourth surgery aka the erectile implant is €16,2k. So all costs would be around ~€73k total. I got my support person to translate some of the basics and it says those are the average prices and that it can change based off of the person. So for example if you have complications it can easily get more expensive.
It also said self-paying folks need to have the money up-front for each surgery. So not the full 73k but for each individual surgery. Also that when you don't have insurance certain stuff will be different. I also asked him about UL and grafts and how they usually take some part of the vaginal canal and use it for UL, which he confirmed they did.
But he said if I wanna keep my vaginal canal then they generally wouldn't do that and using the minora instead was fine. He also confirmed that after the surgeries and such penetration might not be possible and that they could do a surgery to try to open it up a bit if that's something I'd want but that even with the surgery to open it up more it's not a guarantee.
In terms of post-OP sensation he said that in the phallus there would always be most sensation where the klitpen was burried. ( we also briefly talked about the term “burried” he thought it sounded so tragic lol ) in terms of where the skin graft, he explained after they've taken the skin from the arm they'll take a strip of skin from the stomach and put over the donor site ( that's what I believe its called anyway)
Then they'll sew stuff together and basically to my understanding you'd loose some belly from it. The scar you'd get from the skin they take from the belly would be a line on the belly in a place where your swim trunks would cover them according to Dr. Merz. Personally I'm okay with that. I've been considering getting a tattoo in that area anyway.
As for recovery time, I didnt get a clear answer cause he said it'd be in the email ( it wasn't ) but from what I remember I think he said you might expect to stay in the hospital for up to a week or two depending on which surgery you get. On one of the slides he showed it said there's about 6-12 months between each surgery ( so if there's 4 surgeries total excluding compilation that means it takes between 2-4 years from first surgery till you're finished )
I also asked about medical tattooing and he said that's not something they do or cover, and he believed insurance wouldn't cover it either. He didn't know any clinics to go to etc. all he could say is that you should probably wait 1-2 years before getting medical tattooing (on your phallus).
Dr. Merz also said they do about 140-150 phalloplasties per year and showed some statistics and damn it looked good. In terms of satisfaction most gave it an 8, 9 or 10 (in that order) and there was no one who gave it a score under 4. In terms of sensation ~40% of people had 20-50% sensation and ~35% had 50% or more.
In terms of satisfaction with orgasm ~30% gave it a 10, ~17% gave it an 8 and ~16% gave it a 9. Very few gave anything below that. In terms of problems with peeing almost 60% never had issues with peeing and less than 15% had occasionally and even less percentage of people had it often.
I think that's all the info. I'll make an edit if there's anything I remember.
After the consultation I only had to pay €50 because I asked for some papers but I don't think the consultation itself cost anything? If it does I haven't been billed yet at least. That's all for now. Hope it's helpful to y'all. I also wrote a post about how it was to go and see Dr. Liedl at Planegg if you wanna read that, link to it here
If there's anything I didn't cover that you'd want to know, feel free to ask, I'll try to answer as well as I can.

Raising a teenage boy can be an exciting and rewarding experience, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges. As parents, we often find ourselves navigating through the hormonal changes, academic pressures, and emotional disconnections that come with the territory. Understanding and addressing these common challenges is crucial in providing the support and guidance our teenage boys need during this crucial phase of their lives. In this blog, we will explore some of the most common challenges parents face when raising teenage boys and provide strategies for effectively navigating these obstacles. Whether you're dealing with mood swings, academic struggles, communication barriers, emotional disconnection, or simply trying to survive the rollercoaster ride of parenting a teenage boy, this survival guide is here to help. So let's dive in and discover how we can navigate the teen years together!

1. Understanding the Hormonal Changes: Dealing with Mood Swings and Unwanted Boners

Navigating the hormonal changes that come with puberty can be a challenging time for both teenagers and their parents. As a parent of a teenage boy, it's important to understand the role of testosterone in the body and how it can affect mood and physical changes.
Testosterone is a crucial sex hormone that plays a role in the development of secondary sexual characteristics, such as body hair growth and muscle mass. It also has an impact on mood and sexual health.
Recognizing the signs of high testosterone levels in people with vulvas can help you understand what your teenager may be going through. Some signs include abnormal body hair growth, increased muscle mass, and irregular periods. It can also affect sexual health, leading to a reduced sex drive, vaginal dryness, and difficulty getting pregnant. Mood changes, such as irritability, anxiety, and depression, can also be a result of high testosterone levels.
If you notice any of these symptoms in your teenager, it's important to consult with a doctor. A doctor can help determine the best course of treatment, which may include medications or lifestyle changes. It's important to emphasize to your teenager that these changes are a normal part of puberty and that seeking help is important for their overall health and well-being.
Additionally, it's important to address common concerns and questions that may arise. Some teenagers may experience acne due to high testosterone levels, while others may notice changes in breast or clitoral size. It's important to reassure your teenager that these changes are normal and that they should feel comfortable discussing any concerns with their doctor.
Parenting teenage boys can be a challenging and sometimes stressful experience, but understanding the hormonal changes they are going through can help you navigate this phase with empathy and support. Encouraging open communication, teaching them to think for themselves, and helping them form their own opinions and values can also be beneficial during this time. Remember to prioritize their sleep, as hormonal changes can affect their sleep patterns, and support their academic success by creating a conducive environment for learning.

2. Balancing Academics and Hobbies: Nurturing Academic Success in Teen Boys

The challenge of balancing academics and hobbies in today's fast-paced world is a common concern for parents of teenage boys. As parents, we want to support our children in exploring their passions and talents, whether it be through acting, sports, or other extracurricular activities. However, the fear often arises that these pursuits might overshadow the importance of academic development.
Striking a balance becomes crucial to ensure that our young talents not only excel in their chosen fields but also receive a well-rounded education that prepares them for a successful future. This is where Schoolio, with its innovative approach to customized learning, plays a pivotal role.
One of the primary reasons parents are turning to Schoolio is its commitment to personalized, flexible learning solutions. The traditional one-size-fits-all education model may not cater to the unique needs and schedules of children engaged in acting and sports. Schoolio's tailored approach allows students to design their academic schedules around their commitments, ensuring they can pursue their passions without compromising on their education.
Flexibility in learning is key to finding the right balance. Schoolio understands that every child is different and requires a personalized learning journey. With customizable curriculum options and flexible schedules, students can maintain a healthy balance between academics and extracurricular activities. Whether your child is preparing for an upcoming play, a sports competition, or simply needs extra time for rehearsals, Schoolio ensures that their education is not sacrificed.
In the next section, we will explore the specific ways in which Schoolio supports students in balancing academics and extracurricular activities. From providing resources for time management to offering support for specialized interests, Schoolio is dedicated to nurturing academic success in teen boys while allowing them to pursue their passions.

3. Communication Strategies: Teaching Teen Boys to Think for Themselves and Form Opinions

Communication Strategies: Teaching Teen Boys to Think for Themselves and Form Opinions
Understanding teenage communication patterns is essential for parents who want to effectively communicate with their teenage boys. Teenagers, in general, have unique communication styles influenced by their peers and the advancements in technology and social media. However, when it comes to teenage boys, there are specific strategies that can help parents navigate the challenges and foster independent thinking and opinion formation.

1. Acknowledge and Validate Emotions: Teenage boys, like all teenagers, experience intense emotions during adolescence. It is important for parents to listen to their sons and accept their feelings, even if they seem overwhelming or irrational. By providing a welcoming space where boys can freely express their emotions, parents can build trust and encourage open communication.
2. Encourage Exploration and Self-Expression: Communication is a powerful tool for teenage boys to learn about themselves and develop their identities. Parents should create a safe environment where boys can explore different methods of self-expression, such as through art, music, or writing. This allows them to develop their unique voices and gain confidence in expressing their thoughts and opinions.
3. Address Peer Influence: Peer pressure and the need for social approval can heavily influence teenage boys' communication habits. Parents should be aware of the impact of peer dynamics and keep the lines of communication open. By understanding their son's social connections, parents can better support him in navigating peer influence while encouraging independent thinking and decision-making.
4. Navigate Technology and Social Media: The influence of technology and social media cannot be ignored in today's digital age. Parents of teenage boys should be proactive in understanding the impact of these platforms on communication patterns and relationships. Setting clear boundaries and guidelines for technology use can help boys develop healthy communication habits and critical thinking skills.

By implementing these communication strategies, parents can not only navigate the challenges of raising teenage boys but also empower them to think for themselves and form their own opinions and values. It is important to remember that this phase of adolescence can be challenging, but with patience, understanding, and effective communication, parents can support their teenage boys in becoming confident and independent individuals.

4. Coping with Emotional Disconnection: Navigating Teen Boys' Shunning of Affection

Ideas for coping when your adult child cuts you out of their life:

1. Allow yourself to grieve: Being cut out of your adult child's life is a shocking loss, and it's important to give yourself permission to grieve. Acknowledge the pain, sadness, and sense of loss that comes with this estrangement.
2. Don't pretend everything is well: It can be tempting to put on a brave face or pretend that the estrangement doesn't affect you, but it's important to be honest with yourself and others about your emotions. Give yourself permission to cry and express your feelings.
3. Seek support: Reach out to others who have experienced similar situations. Connecting with support groups, online communities, or therapy can provide guidance and solace in navigating through this difficult time.
4. Take control of your own life: While you can't control your adult child's behavior, you can make choices about how you respond and move forward. Focus on making sound decisions for yourself and finding ways to live happily and successfully, even in the midst of the estrangement.
5. Adopt coping strategies that work for you: Not every coping strategy will resonate with you, and that's okay. Find what works for you and discard what doesn't. It's important to take control of your own healing process and do what feels right for you.
6. Remember your strength: Going through the pain of an adult child's estrangement can be incredibly difficult, but remember that you have the strength to get through it. Believe in your ability to find acceptance, peace, and happiness in your own life, even if the relationship with your adult child remains strained.

5. Parenting Survival Guide: Handling the Stressful and Challenging Phases of Raising Teenage Boys

Handling the Stressful and Challenging Phases of Raising Teenage Boys
Introduction:
The previous section discussed the author's personal experience with their son's transition into adolescence and the flood of emotions that came with it. In this section, we will delve deeper into the challenging and stressful phases of raising teenage boys and provide practical advice on how to handle them.
Understanding the Negative Stereotypes and Common Behaviors:
Teenagers often get a bad reputation for their rude and self-centered behavior. If you find yourself facing statements like "No, you can't make me" or "Why don't you trust me?", you may be wondering what happened to your once adorable and adoring child. It's important to remember that these behaviors are common during this stage of development and do not necessarily mean you have failed as a parent.
Reassurance for Parents:
Parents may start questioning themselves and wondering if they are becoming redundant in their child's life. However, this is far from the truth. Despite their push for independence, teenagers still need their parents. They need a solid platform from which they can safely explore the world, a moral framework to guide them, and a role model to look up to. Your child needs to know that they matter, are loved, and have someone who has their back when they make mistakes.
The Role of Parents:
As parents, it is crucial to provide support and guidance to your teenage boys during this challenging phase. Although their behavior may be undesirable, it is important to remember that there are reasons behind it. Instead of taking their behavior personally, try to listen and understand their perspective. Teach them that the world does not revolve around them and that their actions have consequences. Encourage them to think for themselves, form their own opinions and values, and make responsible choices.
The Temporary Nature of This Phase:
It is important to recognize that this phase of teenage rebellion and disrespect is usually temporary. While it may feel like an eternity in the moment, most teenagers eventually outgrow these behaviors and mature into responsible adults. It's crucial to maintain open lines of communication, set clear boundaries, and provide a stable and supportive environment for your teenage boys.
Raising teenage boys can be challenging and stressful, but with the right approach and mindset, you can navigate through this phase successfully. Remember that your role as a parent is more important than ever during this time. Stay patient, understanding, and consistent in your approach, and soon enough, you will see your teenage boys grow into confident and responsible young men.

To Sum Things Up

Parenting teenage boys can be a rollercoaster ride filled with challenges, but with understanding and effective strategies, we can navigate these years together. By acknowledging and addressing the hormonal changes, balancing academics and hobbies, improving communication, coping with emotional disconnection, and utilizing a parenting survival guide, we can provide the support and guidance our teenage boys need. Remember, these challenges are a normal part of their development, and by being patient, empathetic, and open-minded, we can help our teenage boys grow into confident, independent, and successful individuals. So let's embrace the journey of raising teenage boys and celebrate the incredible young men they are becoming!Raising a teenage boy can be an exciting and rewarding experience, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges. As parents, we often find ourselves navigating through the hormonal changes, academic pressures, and emotional disconnections that come with the territory. Understanding and addressing these common challenges is crucial in providing the support and guidance our teenage boys need during this crucial phase of their lives. In this blog, we will explore some of the most common challenges parents face when raising teenage boys and provide strategies for effectively navigating these obstacles. Whether you're dealing with mood swings, academic struggles, communication barriers, emotional disconnection, or simply trying to survive the rollercoaster ride of parenting a teenage boy, this survival guide is here to help. So let's dive in and discover how we can navigate the teen years together!

Does the clitoral hood have multiple layers? I see all the diagrams online where it's the hood & then it's pulled back & there is a bulb. But when I pull my hood back, there is another hood that is attached to my clitoral bulb. Is this normal? I sometimes find hard white stuff that I need to work on extracting and it hurts. I've been concerned with clitoral adhesion in the past & recently saw on Instagram a doctor talking about addressing clitoral adhesions & how this treatment can help with vulvodynia. But she never showed what it looked like pre or post treatment.

I (22F) don’t know how to masturbate. In all my years of living, I have no clue how it feels to “feel good” in a sexual way. I have never felt it. I genuinely feel like I’m broken and it’s making be sad/depressed.
Most women orgasm from and enjoy clitoral stimulation and have less or no enjoyment from g-spot stimulation. I understand that part. (I bought a dildo and don’t feel anything. I like feeling “full” and fantasizing about the intimacy with a hypothetical partner, but I don’t feel any sexual enjoyment. I have no problem getting turned on. It’s just that I don’t feel “pleasure”.) I’m not too upset about not feeling pleasure from g-spot stimulation since that’s common, but WHAT ABOUT MY CLIT?? I literally don’t feel anything but the fact that my hand is touching my clit.
This is one of the reasons why I’m still a virgin. I don’t want to fake moan my whole life. I want to make love with someone so badly and genuinely enjoy it. It’s so frustrating getting attention from guys and avoiding sex because I know I’m not going to enjoy it. I feel like I’m missing out on life’s greatest experiences. I feel like someone who was born deaf and cannot conceptualize what a sound even is. I try so hard to imagine what “sexual pleasure” feels like and I just can’t. I’ve tried living vicariously through people by asking them what it feels like. Their description is never enough for me.
I’ve searched far and wide and it feels like I’m the only one in the world with this issue. It feels like one giant prank on me. Like the Truman show or some social experiment. It also feels like I have some rare neurological issue that’s causing this. I know some people masturbate and have sex for dopamine and stress relief. What if me not being able to do this is also affecting my brain negatively?
I don’t know if growing up without my own room played a huge role. Would I still be like this if I had more privacy growing up? Who do I even tell? How can I get help? Do I have some traumatic experience that caused this but my brain forgot? Is some part of female anatomy missing from my body? Do I need to go to the doctor or find a really experienced person who’s good at sex? I don’t want to live like this forever. The older I get, the more depressing it is. I feel so isolated and behind. I feel like I’m going insane (to find answers).

Explanation* sorry, was crying haha
Hey friends,
I (32F) am in total despair over this.
About four months ago during sex with someone I still see, I noticed that I didn’t feel my vagina’s usual resistance when he entered me. I then realized I felt mostly numb internally too. Not exactly nothing, but noticeably dulled sensations and very little pleasure. It hasn’t gotten any better and he eventually admitted he can definitely feel that I’m “looser” than when we had first started sleeping together two months earlier.
It hasn’t improved and it’s all I can think about. That I’m undesirable and this is the end of my own sexual pleasure. I feel embarrassed, unattractive. My self-esteem is in the pits and I hesitate to have sex and am self-conscious the entire time I do. I know that I have value far beyond this, but it’s a major loss. I’m sharing some facts below in case anyone might have some guidance or advice about how to fix this. I’d be grateful as I’m at my wits end.

• Results from my OBGYN were completely normal; my kegel strength when prompted to flex is great, my hormones are within normal ranges, my thyroid, blood, pap, ultrasound, physical, and STD tests all clear except for a vitamin D deficiency which I’m now correcting.
• There’s no physical damage and I was not having rough or unconventional sex when this started.
• I do get chronic UTI’s and found I had one shortly after this sudden change. A course of antibiotics cured it but made no difference in tightness.
• I would consider myself physically fit, and a lifetime athlete although it’s taken a hit this year. I have an active day job, am physically strong, and lift weights or do 30 minutes of HIIT 2-4 days a week.
• I recently slept with someone new and still felt dulled senses and looseness even with his larger anatomy. I think he did too. Ugh.
• I’m able to orgasm from clitoral masturbation but using vibrators.
• I have had a markedly “tight” vagina my entire sexual life and previously had difficulty beginning penetration. The change literally seemed to happen in between a few rounds one afternoon. It’s drastic.
• I have a pending appointment with a pelvic floor specialist in July but it remains to be seen if my insurance will cover it.
• I also find I’m struggling to produce enough moisture even when well hydrated.

I’m devastated and don’t know what to do or try next. Any insights are appreciated and to anyone else who may be experiencing this, you’re not alone. There must be hope.
Thanks, big hug <3

TLDR: I’ve got PN twice, once due to a sports injury (1.5 years of leg pain and 7 months of clitoris pain), and the 2nd time due to an electric shock (pretty much all the symptoms you’ve ever seen associated with PN). Both times I healed by administrating 90% of the treatment myself, with the remaining 10% performed by physical therapists. No surgical procedures or dry needling.
If you wanna go down the road of doing self-treatment, this is the literature that was the most helpful to me:

• Breaking Through Chronic Pelvic Pain: A Holistic Approach for Relief Jerome M. Weiss
• The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook: Your Self-Treatment Guide for Pain Relief (3rd edition) Clair Davies and Amber Davies

You will find pretty much all the information I used to develop my treatment in these 2 books. Each person is different, and their PN is provoked by different factors - therefore reading the books yourself is much better than just replicating exercises/massages I did.
I am not a medical professional, therefore things I share should not be taken as medical advice.
__________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________
I cannot believe that I am finally making this post! For the ones that are here for the full roller coaster, here we go:

Part 1: “It WiLl PaSs On ItS oWn”

In September 2022, I was stretching after a long day of work and a pole dancing session. I was a bit tired and distracted, which made me slide on my yoga mat and weirdly rotate my leg (this will be important later in the story). I felt instant pain down my whole leg, assumed it might just be a pulled/overstretched muscle, and tried to continue my life as normal.
Not only that the pain did not go away with time, but it kept getting worse, to the point that I had to work remotely 80% of the time and drop pole dancing altogether. I saw 5 different doctors (of which 3 were sports injury specialists) in a span of one year, and I received nothing useful. I was told it would pass on its own, that I was weak, and even that I was too old (28 at the time). Done 2 different MRIs, nothing.
I accepted that perhaps I was stuck with this pain forever. With some stretches/exercises and shoe soles I managed to bring pain to acceptable levels, and even tho I could not do any demanding physical activities or walk for a long time, I made peace with it.

Part 2: The Curse of PN

Fast forward to September 2023, after a couple of days of increased activity and walking, I woke up with clitoris pain. Initially, it was not that bad, even tho it was constant. Sex was painful but still manageable. I was misdiagnosed with fungus infection 2 times, treatment changed absolutely nothing.
It was slowly getting worse and culminated in late Novembeearly December.
Let me tell you, I am no stranger to pain. For most of my life, I lived in the Balkans, and our mantra over there is to just “suck it up”. I was subjected to intense unnecessary pain on many occasions (including complex dental procedures without anesthesia).
Nothing could compare to that insane clitoral pain at all times, for days and days in a row. I felt I was going insane. I do not have a history of any mental health problems, that was the first time ever that something pushed me over the edge of considering ending it all. One night I really could not take it anymore - however my husband talked me out of doing anything bad to myself, and the next day I got a prescription for xylocaine. Since my clitoral pain was very local, it helped a bit. Was not perfect, but was enough to survive.
In January, I started seeing pelvic PT, and while the pain reduced a bit, it never really stopped, not since September. I was mentally and physically tired and just wanted the pain to stop at least for a moment. You can see here my 1st post on this subreddit and how I felt at the time.
I also started seeing a bunch of different specialists in hopes of getting an answer, with little success.

Part 3: The final straw

So after 2 months of waiting, I finally got an appointment with a well-known gynecologist in the area, who was apparently a specialist in complex female issues. Not only that he spent 80% of our appointment typing with 2 fingers my information (that I had already provided beforehand), but he also told me that he could not help me AFTER I finished his little “interview”. He was also insisting on putting me on birth control, even tho I already mentioned that I cannot have sex at all for multiple months.
The final straw was when I mentioned that lower back massage sometimes helps me feel less pain, and he told me it's all in my head because these 2 things are not connected in any way.
EXCUSE ME? At that time, I had zero knowledge of how nerves work. But, while lying down and receiving treatment from PT, I was staring at the image of the pudendal nerve on the wall. With no medical background whatsoever, I could tell, based on the vague memory of that image, that it starts in the lower back, and eventually one of the branches ends in the clitoris.
Needless to say, I was furious.

Part 4: “Fine, I’ll do it myself”

That very same night I thought to myself “How can this guy be a doctor? I would do a better job than that”, and that’s how it all started.
I started learning about the human body from scratch. I wanted to be sure that nothing was left unchecked. Literally going through what are cells, different types of cells, what are their roles, etc., all the way up to the bigger picture. I dropped all the other activities in my life, I was only reading all day. Learning about anatomy and neuroplasticity was really helpful - I was less scared when I finally understood what was (and especially what wasn’t) at stake in my case.
Eventually, I stumbled upon the information that damaged muscles can pressure the nerve and cause all sorts of problems. Damaged muscles are known to be contracted, with painful points inside of them. I decided to put this knowledge to the test and see if that was perhaps where the answer lies.

Part 5: Symptom-free in only 2 weeks (Trigger point release)

I quickly found that one of the muscles in my thigh was kind of stiff. Massaging it (or putting TENS machine on it) would significantly reduce the symptoms (up to 90%) for a while. However, they would return. I knew I was close to a breakthrough.
I started to explore nearby muscles because I learned that damaged muscles sometimes lead to dysfunction of the surrounding ones. I came across obturator internus. Now this muscle is particularly interesting, because not only does it wrap around the clitoral branch of the pudendal nerve (image: https://imgur.com/a/xwEG0XT) , but it also can affect the sciatic nerve (responsible for leg pain). And, surprise, surprise, this is the muscle engaged when we ROTATE THE LEG (remember - thats how my problem started in the first place, I rotated the leg weirdly).
I was both furious and excited - how could so many doctors miss such crucial connection, especially because I would always mention leg pain and clitoral pain, just in case it was related? No one ever told me it could be.
Anyway, I started treating this muscle, together with piriformis which also seemed to have painful points. I used the combination of stretching and strengthening exercises focused on obturator internus/piriformis I found on YT, together with the myofascial trigger points release massage method I was learning about at the time.
I shared with my PT what I found, and she also started treating me using the same technique on those same muscles.
In 2 weeks, I was symptom-free. I cannot begin to explain to you guys how happy I was! I was working on my success post, but then, a disaster happened.

Part 6: The Downfall

Even tho my symptoms were pretty much gone, some work was left to be done. My muscles still had a "habit" of contracting themselves (google the effects of chronic pain on the central nervous system), therefore continuing PT was beneficial (it’s fully covered by insurance in my case, so why not). Little did I know that would become my greatest regret.
My therapist had some personal issues, so another girl was replacing her. She suggested we do electrostimulation of muscles, to which I agreed, because I used it successfully at home too.
I have exactly the same machine, same brand, at home (I purchased it inspired by my PT). Thats how I know I am extremely sensitive to electricity, and I use it on the lowest settings. I repeated that to the girl twice and she said okay. I even told her exactly which mode and level to put.
The next thing I feel is AGONIZING BURNING in the whole left side of the body. I screamed and jumped from the therapy bed, she turned off the thing the same second. But the damage was already done. That girl eventually admitted that she put more than double what I asked for because “she was distracted”. The symptoms I developed literally in one second due to that “treatment” were (I will probably miss some):

• Inner tight burning
• Vagina and vulva burning
• Clitoral pain
• Back pain
• Anus pain and burning
• Pain when peeing
• Pain when sitting
• Literally unable to walk properly

I was not back to square one, I was at square minus one hundred. More than 90% of the symptoms I had were completely new and they were scary.
I still do not know how I found the strength to accept my new situation and start the healing journey from the beginning. But I did it and here we are.

Part 7: Final success

With a bit more research I realized that what happened due to this shock was SI joint inflammation, so I treated that first, with back massages, TENS machine, stretches, and anti-inflammatory creams. I was also treating trigger points. After some time of pretty much all-day self-therapy and research, symptoms significantly reduced.
The only symptoms that were left were thigh-burning, pain when sitting, and clitoral pain. The remaining contracted muscles did not respond to my massage anymore, they were too traumatized.
I visited a therapist who specialized in McKenzie technique, and while this method is not focused on pelvic problems, it is:

• Used in sports injuries, therefore there must be something to help traumatized muscles in there
• Is fully focused on exercising at home, which again, was what I wanted

(As far as I know, this method is not proven to have long-lasting effects, without being combined with other methods, be mindful of this)
He gave me a couple of exercises to try and perform every day, which I added to my usual treatment. Combined with myofascial trigger points massage, in which I became even better with time, the remaining symptoms eventually vanished.
Today I woke up symptom-free.
This is clearly not the complete end, because neither muscles nor nerves can heal overnight. But I am pain-free, and very motivated to continue treating myself with the same level of eagerness and diligence, so the symptoms do not come back again. ___________________________________________________________________

Conclusion

I encourage everyone in this subreddit to seek knowledge.
I am not talking about googling the symptoms and reading random internet pages/watching tiktoks that cite no credible source for their claims. I am telling you to truly dive into this. It will take time, effort and discipline, but you can help yourself. All of these doctors got their knowledge from somewhere, and we can do it too.
There are SO many reasons for PN to occur, and you know yourself and your life the best. Armed with knowledge, not only you can perform a variety of PT techniques yourself, you can also be more confident when visiting doctors. I cannot explain how differently I am treated now, when I can speak “their language”.
The effect on mental health is also incredible. The more you understand what is happening within your body, the less anxiety you feel over your future.
I would like to end this post with a quote that inspired me throughout my journey (which is the opening line of the first book I shared here):

We only see what we look for, and we only look for what we know.
-William Boyd

​

What Are the Top 5 Essential Sex Toys for Men's Pleasure in Jalandhar, Punjab?

When it comes to enhancing men's pleasure, there are five essential sex toys that stand out in Jalandhar, Punjab. These include:

1. Male Masturbators: Designed to mimic the sensation of penetrative sex, male masturbators come in various textures and designs, offering a realistic experience.
2. Prostate Massagers: These toys are specifically designed to stimulate the prostate gland, leading to intense pleasure and sometimes even prostate orgasms.
3. Penis Rings: Also known as cock rings, these devices are worn around the base of the penis to enhance erections, prolong sexual encounters, and intensify orgasms.
4. Penis Sleeves: These sleeves are placed over the penis to add girth, texture, and stimulation during intercourse or masturbation.
5. Vibrating Cock Rings: Combining the benefits of a penis ring with vibration, these toys provide dual stimulation for both partners, enhancing pleasure during intercourse.

How Do These Sex Toys Enhance Men's Sexual Experiences?

Each of these sex toys plays a unique role in enhancing men's sexual experiences:

• Male masturbators offer a realistic sensation, allowing men to explore different textures and sensations during solo play.
• Prostate massagers target a highly sensitive erogenous zone, leading to powerful orgasms and heightened pleasure.
• Penis rings help maintain firmer erections and delay ejaculation, leading to longer-lasting and more satisfying sexual encounters.
• Penis sleeves add variety and excitement to intercourse, enhancing stimulation for both partners.
• Vibrating cock rings provide added sensations and stimulation, making intercourse more pleasurable and intense.

Are There Any Specific Features or Designs That Make These Toys Stand Out?

Yes, each of these sex toys has unique features that make them stand out:

• Male masturbators often feature textured interiors, adjustable suction, and realistic designs for a lifelike experience.
• Prostate massagers are curved to target the prostate gland accurately, with varying vibration patterns and intensities.
• Penis rings may include additional features like clitoral stimulators or anal beads for added pleasure for both partners.
• Penis sleeves come in different sizes, textures, and materials to cater to individual preferences and fantasies.
• Vibrating cock rings offer adjustable vibration speeds, rechargeable batteries, and waterproof designs for versatile use.

What Are the Benefits of Using Sex Toys for Men's Pleasure?

Using sex toys for men's pleasure can have numerous benefits:

• Enhanced sexual satisfaction and pleasure.
• Exploration of new sensations and experiences.
• Improved sexual performance and stamina.
• Increased intimacy and connection with partners.
• Stress relief and relaxation.
• Safe and controlled way to fulfill fantasies and desires.

Where Can One Purchase These Sex Toys in Jalandhar, Punjab?

These sex toys can be purchased from various sources in Jalandhar, Punjab, including:

• Adult stores and specialty shops.
• Online retailers and e-commerce platforms.
• Sex toy boutiques and clubs.
• Local distributors and suppliers.

Are There Any Tips for Using These Sex Toys Safely and Effectively?

To use these sex toys safely and effectively, consider the following tips:

• Read and follow the manufacturer's instructions carefully.
• Clean and sanitize the toys before and after each use.
• Use water-based lubricants with silicone-based toys to avoid damage.
• Start with low-intensity settings and gradually increase as desired.
• Communicate openly with partners about preferences and boundaries.
• Store the toys in a clean, dry place away from direct sunlight and heat.

How Do These Sex Toys Contribute to Sexual Wellness and Intimacy?

These sex toys contribute to sexual wellness and intimacy by:

• Encouraging exploration and experimentation.
• Promoting open communication and dialogue about desires and fantasies.
• Enhancing pleasure and satisfaction for both partners.
• Building trust and intimacy through shared experiences.
• Encouraging self-discovery and self-confidence.

Are There Any Myths or Misconceptions About Using Sex Toys That Need to Be Addressed?

Some common myths or misconceptions about using sex toys include:

• They are only for people with a low sex drive.
• They can replace human intimacy and connection.
• They are only for singles or people in long-distance relationships.
• They are expensive and inaccessible.
• They are only for certain genders or sexual orientations.

What Are Some Customer Reviews or Testimonials Regarding These Sex Toys?

Customer reviews and testimonials regarding these sex toys often highlight:

• Increased pleasure and satisfaction.
• Easy to use and clean designs.
• Versatility and adaptability for different preferences.
• Positive impact on sexual wellness and relationships.
• Value for money and durability.

Can These Sex Toys Be Used by Individuals With Different Sexual Preferences or Needs?

Yes, these sex toys can be used by individuals with different sexual preferences or needs, including:

• Men of all sexual orientations, including heterosexual, gay, bisexual, and queer individuals.
• Individuals with varying levels of sexual experience, from beginners to experienced users.
• Couples looking to spice up their sex life and explore new sensations together.
• People seeking solo pleasure and self-exploration.

Sex Toy TypeFeaturesBenefitsMale MasturbatorsRealistic textures, adjustable suctionLifelike experience, exploration of sensationsProstate MassagersCurved design, varying vibrationsProstate stimulation, intense orgasmsPenis RingsCock ring design, additional stimulatorsFirmer erections, prolonged pleasurePenis SleevesDifferent sizes, textures, materialsAdded girth, stimulation during intercourseVibrating Cock RingsAdjustable vibration speeds, rechargeable batteriesDual stimulation, enhanced pleasure for both partners

FAQ

1. How do I choose the right sex toy for me?

Choosing the right sex toy depends on your preferences, experience level, and desired sensations. Consider factors like size, material, functionality, and intended use to find a toy that suits your needs.

2. Are sex toys safe to use?

When used correctly and cleaned regularly, sex toys are generally safe to use. It's essential to follow the manufacturer's instructions, use lubricants compatible with the toy's material, and avoid sharing toys to minimize any risks.

3. Can sex toys improve my sexual health?

Sex toys can contribute to sexual health by enhancing pleasure, intimacy, and exploration. They can also help individuals discover and communicate their desires, leading to a more fulfilling sex life.

4. How do I clean and maintain sex toys?

To clean and maintain sex toys, follow these tips:

• Use mild soap and water or a specialized toy cleaner.
• Rinse thoroughly and dry completely before storage.
• Store toys in a clean, dry place away from direct sunlight and heat.
• Check for any signs of wear or damage and replace as needed.

5. Can I use sex toys with a partner?

Yes, sex toys can be used solo or with a partner to enhance shared experiences and intimacy. Communication is key to ensure both partners are comfortable and enjoy the experience.

6. Are there any health risks associated with using sex toys?

While using sex toys is generally safe, there are some potential risks, such as allergic reactions to materials, irritation from improper use or cleaning, or sharing toys without proper sanitation. It's crucial to use toys responsibly and prioritize hygiene.

7. What should I consider when buying sex toys online?

When buying sex toys online, consider factors like:

• Reputation and trustworthiness of the seller or website.
• Product reviews and customer feedback.
• Material composition and safety standards.
• Discreet packaging and shipping options.
• Return or exchange policies.

8. Can sex toys help with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation?

Some sex toys, such as penis rings or masturbators, may help individuals with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation by providing additional stimulation or support. However, it's essential to consult with a healthcare professional for personalized advice and treatment options.
These FAQs cover common questions and considerations when it comes to using sex toys for men's pleasure in Jalandhar, Punjab. By understanding how to choose, use, and maintain these toys responsibly, individuals can enhance their sexual experiences and overall well-being.

I quit 10mg of Prozac on July 26th after taking it for six weeks. Cold turkey because it gave me mania, I was on it for OCD. On August 28th, my genitals went completely numb, my whole groin felt anesthetized, and I had no access to my emotions. I had complete anhedonia and severe panic attacks. I couldn't empathize with others and I felt completely disconnected from friends and family, even my adorable two year old niece. I had DP/DR really bad and the numbness extended to other parts of my body, mostly my thighs and toes. My clit would not get hard at all and it had a weird texture. It was very pale and retracted. I was drier than the Atacama desert. I never had complete anorgasmia, but my orgasms were next to nothing, I couldn't feel them at all and I could only have one with a vibrator in one position. No libido, just the urge to keep "fap checking" as you say. Weed wasn't fun anymore, but I could still feel high. My brain felt like a block of wood and my memory was shot. It was almost like I had amnesia. Aphantasia.
The OCD was gone, but at what cost?
I never had sexual dysfunction, anhedonia, or emotional blunting in my life. I was a horny little pleasure machine who didn't like to kill stuff in video games because it made me feel bad.
I had an incredible, yet brief window in September from smoking weed while drinking a full up of coffee. Ever since I did that, I got windows. (DO NOT DO THIS, THIS HAS CRASHED PEOPLE SEVERELY) This has kept me going. I get windows that are two weeks long after I menstruate that were mostly about sensation and emotion. I was waiting for such a window to write this.
I had ups and downs, a couple crashes from things like taking too much vitamin D, drinking caffeine for a few days in a row, and deciding to smoke weed again. I caught covid and had a massive crash from that, but I completely recovered from it.
My depersonalization/derealization was the first symptom to go, it was 90% gone by January. (although I have DP/DR from physical and verbal abuse as a child, but I never experienced months of disassociation like this) Right around that time, I started getting icy, zappy sensations in my forehead and left cheek. I got the same sensations on my thighs and in my vagina later. When the persistent DP/DR lifted, a lot of my mental and emotional symptoms improved.
Next, my anhedonia started to lift as well. I had horrible musical anhedonia, which was really sad to me because I loved music so much and it brought me so much pleasure. I started to notice frission (music chills) while I was watching TV and there was a good song in the show. I was getting into the stuff I was watching and I was finally able to absorb it. I started playing my favorite game again. I can't feel music with the same intensity as before yet, but it is increasing all the time.
I still have some emotional blunting, but it's definitely less. I feel connected to the people I love again and I cry if I think about killing myself. But it's like I have the Diet Sprite of emotions when I used to have a full cup of Dr. Pepper. I don't know who I am without emotions, without empathy. My empathy could definitely use more work. I hate being like this, I don't feel like myself yet.
Orgasm gradually improved, but hit a bump when I got covid. I had anorgasmia for a week and then it slowly came back, that was really scary and depressing because it's the only symptom I didn't have. I'd rate them at 6/10 on average now. The feel good brain chemicals are released, there is contraction of my pelvic muscles, but there is something wrong with my sensory nerves and I just can't feel it right.
My clitoris and vagina have regained some sensation and I have a tiny amount of erogenous sensation at baseline, windows go up to 50%. My groin no longer feels anesthetized, but I still have a severe loss of sensation.
In the beginning, my clit and vagina were in really bad shape. My clit was retracted and pale and just felt disgusting to touch. It has since consistently been perky and poking out like it used to, but it's still not as firm as it should be and my clitoral hood also feels loose. I always had a little dent on one side because my labia is asymmetrical and that dent has become super prominent. My vagina on the other hand has gone from being slack and dry to almost completely normal. I'm still missing a little grip strength and wetness, but I wouldn't call it weak, loose, or dry.
Aphantasia is still a problem, but it's decreasing by itself. My brain makes weak flashes of images and I can form a shitty mental picture. I used to be an artist, this was once a strong skill of mine. I hope I can be an artist again, I went into student debt to learn how to draw as well as I do.
I still have almost no libido, but sometimes it shows up. I very much had one yesterday, I masturbated three times and actually felt horny for the first time since September. I would get these brief flashes of arousal when I thought of my friend-with-benefits, but I could never maintain anything. I hope I'm turning a corner with that symptom. Spontaneous arousal still doesn't really happen. But just this week, my FWB opened up about their kinks and we talked about how I could indulge them within my boundaries and that made me horny for the first time in months.
The numbness in my clitoris was so bad I couldn't feel the tip of a sewing needle on it. Now I very obviously can, it's painful again. I'm still missing some pain perception though. I can put my fingertip under my clitoral hood when that used to be too painful. (my clitoral hood also used to be tighter and the tip of my clit was larger)
My clitoral erections are softer than they should be and my clit feels thinner than it should be, but I get clitoral erections more often with my vibrator. I can get wet enough to have penetrative sex, it just wouldn't feel good so I don't bother.
I have been doing a few things to help myself. From the beginning, I was taking walks every day because I read that exercise helps nerve regeneration, and my nerves felt injured. Unfortunately I stopped walking when it started to snow, but I'm back to walking for half an hour every day if the weather permits.
I masturbated at least once every day since like week 3 of this bullshit.
I use a TENS device on my posterior tibial nerve, which increases blood flow to the pelvic area. I'm focusing on things that don't alter me neurochemically, but support blood flow and nerve health. I eat a mostly healthy omnivorous diet. I've been eating beets, which have a ton of nitric oxide and folic acid this week and I have a significant improvement in bloodflow to my clitoris, so I'm looking into beet juice and nitric oxide supplements. I started taking vitamin C for bloodflow, ACE2 upregulation (covid fucks up these cellular receptors) and demethylation as well. I'm also trying to find the right dose of vitamin D that won't crash me so I can treat my deficiency.
I also quit smoking weed, but I did try a little recently and I could feel it more! It was just crumbs from my grinder but I was acceptably high for two hours. It does give me temporary crashes, so I do not smoke and I will not smoke until I am completely healed. I also don't drink because of health issues I have, and I was never a big drinker.
I might add more to this post if I think of something I missed. I think my odds of beating PSSD are good. I'm going to continue with no herbal supplements or anything and just wait. I think I'm still way off from being recovered, I'd consider myself "almost there" if I could orgasm through rubbing my clitoris again. I feel like I'm halfway there, or at least out of the pit.
Update: For all of April 2024 I have felt sudden and massive improvements in anhedonia and emotional blunting and both of those are almost gone! I feel like myself, just a little washed out. A pastel version of me. Diet Coke instead of full sugar Dr. Pepper.

I don't think that I've ever told the entire story of my struggle with penetration before, so bear with me.
I (they/them) recently turned 21, and I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. For my entire life, I was never able to insert anything, not so much as a pinky finger without pain. My boyfriend and I tried to have sex pretty early on, and I have zero feelings of shame or embarrassment or guilt about sex. I'm very much sex-positive and I express my sexuality pretty freely, although I do consider myself a virgin. We'd gotten together in June 2022, and tried almost right away to have PIV sex. It absolutely was not happening. I've always been aroused with him, there has always been enough foreplay, we never skip lube, and I've always been emotionally prepared to have sex. There's no real fear in me, but I could never take anything without pain.
That September, after years of staying up late crying and obsessively researching conditions that cause painful penetration and wondering hopelessly why my body didn't ever want to cooperate, I decided to get in to see one of four gynecologists in my small city (30k-ish, Canada). I'd gone in with a list of some of my symptoms, and with zero examination of my vagina, never even getting me to undress, he told me I had a microperforate hymen. He sent me to get my bloodwork done (for hormones, iron levels, etc) and he also sent me for a renal ultrasound, and he said that once that was finished, I could follow up with him and he'd book me a surgery to have it cut so it wouldn't be an issue anymore. Needless to say, I was very excited, because all of my dysfunction would have been simply cut away.
As it turned out, when I went back to schedule the hymenectomy, he told me "they can't just do an operation for something like that" and, of course, told me just to keep practicing and to "try using lube". Obviously, I ran out of his office sobbing. I've realized since that gynecologists and OB-GYNs care a hell of a lot more about your uterus than your vagina. Your capacity to give birth completely dwarfs your sexual health, let alone any of your desires or emotions. It goes without saying that I never tried to see a gynecologist again.
Nearly a year later, having returned to a state of constant frustration, confusion, tears and anger, I decided to make an anonymous post in one of my town's facebook groups detailing my situation and by the grace of God, our town's pelvic floor therapist caught wind of it and recommended that I book an evaluation with her. So September 2023, I got assessed and she'd written the words "Pelvic Floor Dysfunction" $300 dollars later, I finally had some clarity. I knew what was wrong.
We started with simple breathing exercises and just my recognition of my pelvic floor, then we moved into exercises like the elevator and sitting on progressively smaller balls. She says it was to stimulate the tissues and to strengthen the muscles. I've been using Intimate Rose dilators since around October 2023. They were expensive, but I knew they were necessary.
The first one, the little hot pink one, must have taken me nearly a month to get in. It hurt insanely and I found it sooo hard to find the right angle. Thankfully, I've been able to move up to size 3, the blue one. Once or twice, I fit the purple one up there, number four, but I've been petrified to use it again because of the agony that comes with pulling it out. Getting it inside isn't terrible but the first time I tried to pull out number four, I cried real tears in my bed and felt like I was in hell.
I read a post in this subreddit about how silicon can create a suction in your vaginal canal which could be causing the pain, and my PFT told me that I could try either wiggling it around, or pushing it out, both of which I tried, but nothing seemed to help. I have the same thing at varying degrees with two and three (I tend to go back and forth) but at least with the first three dilators they don't feel like they're actually stuck inside me like a fishhook.
I know that moisture can be an issue, but as previously mentioned I've never skipped lube and I'm GENEROUS with it. I have almost zero discharge for all of my cycle and even when I'm aroused I barely get wet, and I'm far too young to be this dry, so I naturally returned to my research. It turns out that Vyvanse, of which I take 40mg daily, is an extremely drying medication- not just vaginally, but your eyes and mouth and skin as well (along with giving me an aversion to drinking water akin to a rabies patient). I've started forcing myself to suffer through all the water I'm drinking and it does seem to be helping.
A month or so ago, I visited a walk-in clinic out of desperation for my sexual health (I don't have a family doctor currently, and the select few in town aren't currently taking patients) because I discovered that my clitoral hood is completely stuck, and it most likely has been for my entire life. I ended up mentioning my dryness and the doctor I saw prescribed me a month's supply of Vagifem10 and oral progesterone. It was making me noticeably wetter, combined with all the godforsaken water I've been drinking (and the increase in my sex drive?! I won't get into that, but good God). It was helping it still does work, but it's been losing its effect as of late.
It was a little embarrassing for me to discover I'd been prescribed the same dosage of HRT as my menopausal mother, and all the articles I find online when I'm struggling with the effects are almost always written by or directed to women three times my age. I'm far too young to be this dry and I certainly don't think I should need to be treated for vaginal atrophy, but if it works, it works I guess. I get the sense that it's been losing its effect though.
Recently, I realized that the KY lube my boyfriend and I usually use (more so that I use when I'm dilating) might be a but thick and not be able to supplement my moisture properly. So today I busted out the Intimate rose lube that came with my dilators, that I initially disliked because of how runny it is. I do find it to work a bit better than the KY.
But nothing seems to be working.
I'm drinking an ocean of water every day. I'm using enough lube to drown someone with. I'm even taking prescribed medication to give me the natural slip and slide effect I envy in other women my age so much. I'm doing the kegels, the stretches, the breathing, and nothing seems to be working. Every time I dilate, there's always a slight burning pain all the way inside. No matter which size I'm using (and my boyfriend can fit afinger or two inside me somewhat now, which gives me the same feeling), it always hurts at least a little bit. It stings and stretches and burns and while, yes, I'm glad that I can be penetrated by SOMETHING now, I can't help but feel a persistent sense of discouragement and frustration.
Has anybody else gone through the same or similar treatment in pelvic floor therapy as me? If so, how long did it take before PIV, or any penetration whatsoever, became pleasurable or even just painless? I'm not looking for mindblowing internal orgasms here, I just wonder if there will ever come a time when having any foreign objects inside me won't cause me pain or discomfort. I'm doing all I can and progress seems well beyond my reach. I understand that no two bodies work in the same way but if anybody has any similar experiences, where your dyspareunia weighed you down and constantly led you to feeling broken and fed up and hopeless, I'd love if you shared them with me.

Hey, all. I (31,F) was just diagnosed with LS two days ago. I’ve been spending probably too much time on the internet, and I’m in a bit of an emotional free fall.
TL;DR: my initial diagnosis of LS includes remission. How is lifestyle management for remission different from/similar to active flares?
I’d been struggling with constant tear, heal, retearing in my posterior forchette for a while, and all my doctors (urogyn, pelvic floor PT, standard gyn) believed this was due to hormonal changes from BC and spironolactone along with a larger partner. Finally, my PT referred me to a doctor who specializes in what she called vulvar dermatology. She immediately diagnosed me with LS…but she was very clear that I’m diagnosed as already in remission.
I’m struggling here. I’m sad because I thought I just had “innie” anatomy and preferred a particular kind of clitoral stimulation. Turns out I’ve permanently lost most of my labia minora and my hood has fused pretty severely, and I’ll probably continue to face this tearing from sex. She mentioned that I likely experienced the active stage pre-puberty, which is why I’d just “assumed” this is how my anatomy is. I’m a bit devastated to learn that maybe somewhere along I could’ve stopped the progression. I’m also really unsure how I’ll ever feel comfortable having sex again knowing this.
That was mostly ranting. I’m really here for answers. Everything I’m finding online seems to point toward managing life and symptoms to get to remission. I have no idea what to do since I’m already there. Is it everything?
Do I need to change my diet? Do I need to do the baths? Do I have to get rid of leggings? I’m now working on the standard 3-month daily steroid regimen (on a lower, maintenance dose), but do I still rub oils? Etc.
I’m lost, sad, and a little bit isolated. Do any of you have a similar experience or a direction to point me in regarding managing remission?
Thanks!

Hello, I've never had sex and I use the Saalt disc in the smaller (coral color) size. I've recently been learning (or trying to, there are so many dead ends in research) about the female reproductive system. One thing I found interesting is that some studies suggest women enjoy clitoral stimulation more than penetrative, and some don't enjoy penetrative at all. So I've been wondering, without the G-spot being hit, does penetrative sex just feel like nothing?
I can totally see the intimacy and closeness and friction creating an enjoyable feeling for the woman, like a massage of sorts, but in terms of tangible sensation, is there an actual "erotic" physiological feeling to it? Like due to nerves? You might be wondering what the what this has to do with my disc. Basically, when I put my disc in, it just feels like whatever. Is that what penetration typically feels like, or is going to feel like for me? Sorry for such an odd post!
I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little worried this means I'm not going to enjoy penetration as much as I hope to, but I also find it difficult to imagine how disc insertion could mimic the sensation. Basically, I know nothing and would appreciate the experiences of those who do!
View Poll

Wether a woman is a virgin, or very sexually unrestricted, even she has sexual needs, theres this misconception that if a woman isnt having casual sex or likes to take her time in relationships or wants to wait until marriage she is asexual, this couldnt be further from the truth, and neglecting your future wifes sexual needs will lead to a really unhappy marriage.
So how do you satisfy your woman?
There is both an abstract and physical component to this, but physical cant be succesful if the abstract isnt there.
First, you must get rid of harmful ideas that get spread about sex due to pornography, ignorance, etc, ideas like:
-Sex is a man's need that his wife must be willing to satisfy, nothing will destroy the sexual polarity between you and your wife/girlfriend faster that turning sex into some sort of resource your woman is obliged to give you.
-If a woman doesnt wants sex with you she is not into you and she doesnt thinks you re worthy, it is true that if a woman doesnt finds you attractive the though of having sex with you wont be arousing to her, but this doesnt means that if a woman is into you she will turn into a pornstar (porn is harmfuly unrealistic, dont base your ideas on it), there are many situations where a loving couple might experience a crash in libido, things like pregnancy, stress.
Rather than looking at sex like some sort of resource or need, look at it more like the cherry on the cake of an already amazing relationship, a natural consequence between a healthy loving couple, things will naturally happen and you shouldnt worry about it, look at it more as a way of showing love to your woman, by making her bloom in pleasure, a loving activity where she should be the priority first and foremost, that way you ll ensure the experience is amazing for her and you, specially for her , and she will want more and more, you should enjoy being around your woman even if the possibility of sex isnt there, thats ironically a thing that will increase the chemistry between you two significantly, it is paradoxical but the more you feel like you need sex from your woman, the more you ll destroy the chemistry between you and her, specially if it is a woman who follows this sexual compass, as these women tend to have really strong boundaries and their creep detector is quite sensitive.
-Dont treat sex as a performance, treating it as some sort of performance for either party will harm the chemistry severely, for her, because if you see it as a performance for her, this will turn it into a chore, and the last thing you want in a succesful relatiomship is for your woman to see sex with you as a chore. And for you, because your woman will feel like you re not into it, you re not enjoying sharing the moment with her, but rather you re so focused on performing that will lose the connection with her.
-Dont treat sex as a reward you get from your woman, that means, dont try to do things to convince her or get your woman to sleep with you, dont flirt with her, or gift her flowers, or do chores to get her in the mood, no, if you gonna do all those things do so because you re genuine about it, you do find her hot, you do appreciate her, you do care, thats the only reason why you should do all of the aforementioned.

• You should feel like she is the woman of your life, contrary to popular belief, is not just women the ones who wait until they are ready for it, you should also wait until you re ready for it too, meaning that you do feel and find her like the woman of your life, a woman you would fight for, a woman you would climb mountains for, a woman you would break your back working on the field for her, and if you feel like that, she will definetly notice it in the way you look at her, the way you kiss her, the way you speak to her, the way you intimate with her. This wont be difficult to do if you dont treat sex as some sort of proof of your manhood and worthiness.

-Dont treat sex as some sort of proof of your manhood or worthiness, theres nothing more unnattractive than a man who values himself based on how much sex he can get from women, a woman choosing to sleep with you doesnt makes you more worthy or manlier, theres men with a bodycount on the 30s who are complete losers, meanwhile theres men who built empires when they were virgin, men who have won wars and dont have more than one partner count, be confident in yourself and things will happen naturally.
Now it is time for the physical:
-Looks matter, specially for her, if you make your woman feel like you dont find her physically attractive, this will destroy the chemistry between you two, she wants to feel like you find her attractive and desire her, but also she wants to feel like she is special to you, that means she wants to feel like you do desire her because of who she is, not because you re horny and want to fuck, and how do you achieve this? Easy, like i said, look for the things you like about her, see if she is someone you would actually take that step for.
Now, your looks do matter too, ensure that you re fit, healthy and well presented, groomed and practice proper hygiene.
-Sex is not just penetration, inserting your thingy your woman's privates specially when she is not properly aroused will either cause pain or feel bland, foreplay is a must, and frankly, when you dont have silly idead about sex, foreplay becomes natural on every encounter you have, when you get intimate, enjoy caressing her body, enjoy kissing her, kiss her whole body, enjoy touching and kissing her boobs and nipples (BE GENTLE AS THEY ARE SENSITIVE), her waist, just touch gently and see how she reacts, if you dont enjoy foreplay or you want to jump straight to the point, you might have been damaged by pornography or you have any of the harmful ideas about sex mentioned before. Your tongue, your fingers and your pelvic bone can do way more for your womans pleasure than your thingy, ensure that you stimulate her clit, as this the organ that will make her bloom. How to find the clit? You can look up the internet to see where it is located as an image is worth more than a thousand words.... but is located just at the end of the pelvic bone where the superior labia begins , and after knowing where it is, as long as you followed this guide properly, you need to know that a woman's privates also get erect, yes, a woman's privates get swollen, lubricated and her clit gets larger and exposed, not to the same degree a man's thingy does, but it goes through the same process, you ll know this because when you touch her pelvic bone, just at the end before superior labia begins, you ll notice that theres a little thin bump that extends until her superior labia where the clit's tip is, thats an aroused clit.
VERY IMPORTANT.
Treat the clit gently, it is a really sensitive organ, a bad movement will cause pain or discomfort for the woman, dont stimulate it in an overly fast motion, specially when your woman is climaxing, keep the same pace you had, slow and steady wins the race, is the journey, not the destination, and when your woman is climaxing, progressively lower your pace as it will become numb the more it progresses.
-Forget about fingering, that is not pleasureable at all for many women, clitoral stimulation is the be all end all, sure you can gently touch your woman's vaginal cavity as that will feel good, but forget about this insane fingering motion that is overly exagerated in pornography (thats one of the reasons why you must drop porn if you want an awesome lover for her), that will actually cause pain for many.
Another thing, even after your woman has climaxed, her uterus might still feel aroused, so you can continue stimulating here from there, after that you can do an slight trusting motion BUT BE GENTLE and remember to listen to her cues, communication is the key after all.
And remember to kiss her a lot.
You dont need a massive dong to stimulate her, this is actually a myth perpetrated by pornography, massive dongs are more likely to cause pain rather than pleasure.
Myths about the first time:

• Women bleed during the first time, some do, some do not.
  
• The first time is supposed to be painful for the woman, false, if it is painful she either is not properly aroused or she might have vaginismus, which is a condition that surprisingly affects a considerable amount of women, be open to all posibilities.
  
• The first time the woman's privates are always tight, absolutely not, if she is aroused, her privates naturally go looser to facilitate the insertion, dont fall for this harmful myth.
  

With this guide your chances of having succesful life lasting relationship and being the lover her dream will increase exponentially.

So, I am prepared for the skepticism and the eye rolls I may get with this post when I really get into how I healed, but please, bear with me.
This is going to be a long one.
I have posted on this subreddit a few times when I was in the height of my pain and desperate for answers. I am hoping that this story will help others or by the very least, bring comfort and hope to those who are healing from this difficult condition.
Back in September of 2022, I contracted what I thought was a UTI after a ptsd triggering event that was of no fault to my boyfriend; all he wanted was to be spontaneaous one night and something about him catching me off guard really triggered me. And yes, I could have told him that I was triggered and not went through with having sex but I didn't. I was too embarrassed. So, against my brain and body screaming NO, I ignored my own needs to meet my boyfriend's even though he was totally okay with not doing anything that night. And it sent my trauma through the roof. I was so emotionally and mentally devastated that after the fact, I hid in my bathroom and begged the universe to never make me have sex again. I laugh at that now because... ask and you shall receive.
I woke up that next morning with UTI-like symptoms (i.e. urethral irritation, urgency, frequency, etc.) and through a tele-health appointment was prescribed macrobid and went and bought Monistat for the inevitable YI I always got when I took antibiotics. I began on the abx but was not getting better in the way that I was used to, I still had UTI symptoms while on abx which was weird to me. However, I did contract a YI and this is when all heck broke loose. I used the 3 day monistat and by the third day, experienced horrendous burning. YI meds are supposed to burn, I knew that, but this felt extreme and after that night, that burning feeling wouldn't leave me for months.
Thus begun the quest for answers after two weeks of having this burning sensation that just wouldn't let up or go away. I began running back and forth to Planned Parenthood and having them swear up and down that I had a monster YI. I was put on two more abx and 11 diflucan pills before the clinicians at PP got frustrated with me and basically said "we can't help you" and they finally admitted that I never had a test proven YI but they thought it was a subclinical infection after they had already put me on all of those pills. That would have been nice info to know because all they did was make my condition worse and caused me a lot of stress and anguish.
PP referred me out to a GYN and I was so upset that it was a male GYN (nothing against men but I just don't like person's who don't have the same equipment as me to tell me anything about my body, also this GYN was a dick). I made my boyfriend go to the appointment with me and when I tell you that this GYN didn't want to be there, I mean it. He was talking fast, rushing around and tried to diagnose me with a YI based off of the description of my symptoms. When I became frustrated he was like "Do you want me to examine you?" I said yes but I should have said no because after telling him how painful my area was at all times, he shoved a speculum in me without warning and retriggered my ptsd all over again. My boyfriend ended up yelling at the guy, but alas, no YI. no infections at all.
As you can imagine, my fear, anxiety, depression and anger was at an all time high. After these experiences, I had developed new symptoms along the way:
- Vestibule burning, urethral burning, urinary frequency and urgency, coal-like sensations at vestibule, ice-like sensations, numbness, aching feelings, tingling, rectal burning, tailbone pain, pressure in my urethra and clitoral area (it felt like something was occupying space in that area or like my pelvic floor was being pushed outward, swollen feelings but my skin looked fine), itching (that developed a day after my first PFPT evaluation which I was terrified of going to), and burning after urination (which developed after an upsetting/stressful doctor's appointment and sitting on my butt in my car for the first time in months, so I thought I damaged my pudendal nerve.) and overall tightness of my pelvic floor.
I began doing things to avoid flares, such as: I stopped sitting altogether and opted for sitting/laying on my sides, I cut out inflammatory foods and only ate all organic foods, I eliminated showers for fear of soap running down to my pelvic floor (Sponge baths, washing my hair the sink), I drank a ton of water to combat the urinary discomforts, no sex for an indefinite amount of time (thank goodness my boyfriend was understanding), I stopped wearing pants and only wore skirts/dresses, I was taking a ton of supplements to heal myself because the meds I was prescribed only ever made things worse, I would limit movement and only go for short walks when I felt I could... I can't remember everything now, I juts remember that my life got smaller and smaller.
Not to mention, I was a total wreck. I was crying all of the time. However, I started to notice something weird: my pain went from being constant to intermittent and inconsistent. For instance:
- I would have pain in the morning that would subside around noon and come back at 7 PM every night.
- my pain was inconsistent in that sometimes it would be a 6/10, sometimes it would be a 4/10, occasionally it would be a 2/10. It didn't make sense.
- my pain would all but go away during my period or if I was sick, so when something else was going on with my body, my pelvic pain would subside for a time.
- It would go away when I took Vitamin D3 or probiotics which also didn't make sense because every medication I was given for the actual condition never worked or made little improvement.
- My pain was delayed, so I would do something like walk or physical therapy and be fine but then my pain would come on hours later.
At one point, I left home to go to my mother's house for a while because I just felt like I needed her. Being at my mom's house made me feel so safe and a weird thing happened, my burning pain and other weird symptoms beside the itching and burning with urination went away. It just was gone. I chalked it up to that the irritant contact dermatitis from the YI med I had finally healed. It came back when I went back home... so, I went back to my mom's house and it went away again. I don't remember what I was thinking about this at the time, I remember just being grateful.
This prompted me to research and a few months later, I found something called Tension Myositis Syndrome (TMS) coined by a man named Dr. John Sarno, basically saying that deep-seated or repressed emotions can manifest through the body as various pain syndromes and in my research, I found that pelvic pain was almost always TMS. Although, at the time, I was not ready to accept this as a real thing so I placed in on the back burner until a few months later when I had another weird experience. My original pain was gone by this point but I still had on/off itching, this awful scratchy/tingling feeling on my vestibule and urinary urgency/discomfort that frustrated me. One day, I had a meltdown lol I was crying, I was angry, I was throwing pillows around and punching pillows. I was letting out all of my frustration about my situation (I am not telling anyone to have a breakdown, this is simply part of my discovery to my root cause lol) and I felt so much better after. Lo and behold, I was pain free for five days, total symptom relief until I had an argument with my boyfriend and the pain came back. That is when I realized, my emotions were definitely playing a part.
I began to research again and found Alan Gordon's book, The Way Out, and related to it on such a deep level and just knew that I had TMS/Mind-Body Syndrome and I was pain free for 9 days thereafter. It all made sense to me and so I began my mind-body healing journey: I researched pain science, I listened to curable podcasts, I read success stories on the TMS Wiki, I began going to psychotherapy to help with my past traumas and for mind-body related syndromes (Menda Health in CA takes insurance of anyone is interested, they do consult calls to see if they can help you), I watched TMS healing YouTube videos and worked on calming my nervous system by reducing my fear of symptoms. I STOPPED GOING ON SUPPORT GROUPS (I found that all of the horror stories I would find and read only made my healing journey more difficult as it would just scare me and bring me down so I stayed away from them while I healed), Stopping all catastrophizing thoughts and attention to my vulva/pain, I got better. Over the course of 11 months working to heal my relationship to my body and pain, I am now pain free. It's odd to say but I had to embrace the pain and welcome it for it to go away. Once I showed my brain and CNS that I didn't care about the pain, it started to fade. I had to get bored with the symptoms and begin to live my life again regardless of whether or not I had pain.
The brain interprets pain signals, you cannot have a pain response without the brain's involvement and sometimes it can misinterpret safe signals from nerve fibers in the body and translate them as pain. For me, I believe I had a bad reaction to the YI meds but over the course of time, my brain learned that pain and my fear of it kept it persistent. My nervous system was like "she's scared of this so it must be dangerous, let's keep attention on it." As soon as I reduced my fear of the symptoms and started calming my nervous system down, my pain began to fade. I went from being bedridden and housebound to I am currently looking to get back into the workforce.
Now, I can sit for however long I was for as long as I want, I can drive again, I am back in the gym and lifting weights/doing cardio again, I am wearing pants again, I can eat whatever I want, I can have pain free sex again, I am totally pain free. It's like I never had pain. I feel like my life hit pause for a time and then randomly resumed, it's odd.
I know that by this point many of you have probably checked out and are calling BS but it's just something to consider. I had told my self a year and a half ago when I started on this journey, if I found something that worked, I would relay it to everyone on this subreddit. If the doctors cant find anything wrong with you, if they have ran every test under the sun and come up with nothing, if your pain comes and goes, if your stress levels determine the severity of your discomfort, if the meds don't work or make things worse... it could be a mind-body thing. It's worth looking into.
For me, I never processed my SA from when I was 15. I simply repressed it and when I got re-triggered and didn’t do anything to protect myself, my nervous system was like “we got you” and manifested as vulvodynia to make sure I never have to deal with that trauma again. Once I processed my past traumas, I healed. Looking back on it, of course I developed a chronic pain condition down there.
Here are some learning resources that helped me on my healing journey if anyone is interested.
https://ppdassociation.org/
Alan Gordon - The Way Out
Vulvodynia/Pudendal Neuralgia Success Story
Pudendal Neuralgia Success Story
Mind-Body Healing Program (Takes Insurance in CA)
https://ppdassociation.org/ppd-self-questionnaire
​
TL;DR: Diagnosed with Vulvodynia, Pudendal Neuralgia and IC, I was healed through mind-body syndrome healing approach.
​
​
​
​

TL;DR: I (42 queer F) have had a lot of romantic & sexual experience with women & NBs and almost none with cis men, but I want to find a kind, patient cis guy to date and trust enough to explore sex with. I have some past sexual trauma and a current chronic illness. Any advice on how to find someone I can trust, and how/when to share my circumstances?
I (42F) had a boyfriend in high school and another in college. We fooled around some, but I was very confused and ashamed of my sexuality (thanks Catholicism!), so we didn’t get very far. No PIV sex, no blow jobs, and I was generally freaked out by their penises. Poor guys! They were both so sweet and kind about what we all thought was my Catholic guilt.
Fast forward a few years and I developed a crush on a girl and I thought, “Ooooh, it all makes sense now! I’m gay and I like butch women (of which there were none around me growing up, so how would I have known?). It wasn’t Catholic guilt after all!”
Since then, all of my adult romantic relationships and sexual experiences have been with women or nonbinary AFAB queer folks. I have been attracted to a few cis guys over the years, but only rarely and when I was already in a monogamous relationship. So I loosely identified as a lesbian, preferring the word “queer” since some of my partners were nonbinary, and I’ve always wondered if I was bi or pan.
Now I just got out of a relationship that lasted over ten years, the last two of which we had a mostly dead bedroom (almost no sex or kissing, minimal cuddling). I was the higher libido one (my partner was older and menopausal, so I think it was largely a hormone issue). Now I’m ready to get back out there and date!
Over the past year or so, I’ve had a lot of fantasies about having sex with cis men. And now that I’m single, I want to try dating them. But I’m nervous after hearing countless horror stories from straight women friends about all the unsolicited dick picks and expectations for hooking up right away.
And I feel like a really strange combination of a person…I’m 42 and have had a lot of sex in my life, I’m kind of kinky, and I’m skilled at having sex with bodies with vulvas and breasts. But I’m like an inexperienced teenage girl when it comes to penises! I have no idea how to give good head (or if I’ll even like it vs thinking it sounds hot). I fantasize about PIV sex, but I don’t know if I’ll like that either! (My partners have usually stuck mostly to clitoral stimulation). And I have a history of some sexual trauma, so I sometimes need to pause or slow down during sex (not often, just sometimes).
I want to explore having sex with a cis man, but it will have to be with someone I trust (which will take some time to build). I don’t even know how and when to have this conversation with a guy!
To complicate things even further, I have a new chronic illness that impacts my energy episodically. I’m not as energetic as I used to be, but I still have enough energy to date and have sex on a good day (but I would have to reschedule if I were having a bad day).
Part of me just feels old and broken, while at the same time woefully inexperienced. But that’s just the fear and internalized ableism talking.
Do you have any advice on how to navigate all of this? Any tips on how to find someone I can trust? Any thoughts on how and when to share my circumstances with someone I start dating?

4 Weeks Post-Op, Total Laparoscopic Hysterectomy (w/bso and partial v-ectomy)
Hey there, I'm a transgender guy, currently recovering from a radical hysterectomy. This will be a lengthy post-op update, and I'll be discussing what could potentially be a rare sexual complication that I’m experiencing. Not that anyone should be deterred from getting a much needed hysterectomy or pelvic surgery by this, because if it really is a complication of my surgery, I assure you, it must be a very rare one.
I've decided to post this here, because I've found myself having symptoms of this condition, and although I don't know what the cause of my dysfunction is yet, I feel many here might relate.
This was also written in present-tense, and was around 4 weeks following my operation. As of right now, I'm a bit further along, but will continue updating. It would be too long to include everything I've written until now in one post, though.
Major Sexual Dysfunction (???)
That aside, I’ve had an unusual side effect in regards to my sexual function. No lost libido, sex-drive is the same as before surgery, but an almost complete loss of sexual sensation in my bottom growth/dick, (the clitoris, but enlarged from testosterone, and now more closely resembles a micro-penis). This is highly concerning, since I was told not to expect this sort of change, and haven’t had much luck finding many others dealing with the same issue, after some panicked research.
What worries me the most is without a doubt, the possibility of nerve damage, and so I’m hoping this might be a hormonal issue, or a short-term side effect from the surgery. I had an appointment today (8th of march) to consult about this, as well as to talk about the surgical menopause symptoms I’ve been experiencing (hot flashes, night sweats, mood changes).
The Appointment
I was told that the loss of sensation in the clitoral region isn’t something that has ever been reported by their previous patients, and if others had experienced this specifically, they did not mention it. Out of curiosity, I did ask what the most commonly reported sexual side effect was after hysterectomy, and it would be a dip in sex-drive, which yeah, made sense.
The doctor I met with took my symptoms into consideration, and noted to me that if it were nerve damage, I’d likely be experiencing vaginal pain, possible numbness going throughout my thighs/legs, and back pain as well. In short, she seems to think it’s much more likely to be a hormonal issue. She gave multiple in-depth reasons for this, but forgive me, I’m too exhausted to relay it accurately right now.
The Treatment
I’ll be starting on 1mg estrogen daily, and I was prescribed an estrogen cream with directions to apply it to my bottom-growth/dick nightly. I was not instructed to use it vaginally, as I’m not having vaginal pain, or symptoms of vaginal atrophy. With my particular issues, I was directed to focus on applying it externally.
I was also prescribed a topical compound cream, (which is just topical Viagra), meant to be used before participating in sexual activity, so it’s on an as-needed basis. I can optionally get this compound-cream with testosterone added to it, as well.
Oh, and I was given the option to take the systemic estrogen via patch or gel, but I already take pills daily (paxil, and finasteride), so I chose to take it in pill-form just out of convenience. I do understand this option is harder on the liver, though, and increases blood-clotting risk.
I can alternatively go to my primary care doctor to take estrogen in a longer-lasting, pellet-form. I’ve known my pcp to offer this ever since I first started seeing her. It allows for a stable stream of hormones, and I think the dosing is much more custom to you, rather than a standard set dose. I’ll be considering this, but would first prefer to see how I handle estrogen in my body in a way that I can stop at any time, should it produce negative effects.
I’ve definitely had a weight lifted after my appointment. Finally, being able to discuss this out loud, and get a professional’s opinion and reassurances, has been very easing mentally. It’s still an unnerving issue to be faced with, but I’m relieved to have started in a direction towards correcting it. :’ )
In-depth explanation of my sexual dysfunction
Will preface this again, with that I'm a transgender guy. I'll be referring to my genitals using different terms like bottom-growth/dick, simply because that's what I usually call it, but you can imagine the general clitoral region, externally. Hormone replacement has resulted in a significant amount of clitoral growth, so it has somewhat changed the way I experience stimulation/sexual pleasure.
Although I am not medically cleared for internal vaginal stimulation/penetration, I could not give a before and after anyways, because I did not partake in it before my surgery. Once I am cleared for it though, I will likely be testing to see if there is any general sensation loss there, too.
For those wondering precisely what kinds of sexual dysfunction I’m experiencing, it would be a loss of erotic sensation throughout my bottom-growth/dick, with dulled tactile sensation as well. I can no longer get erect, which is something that occurred naturally, as well as from direct stimulation very easily, beforehand. The glans/head physically appears less pink, and looks whitepaled. It’s also cool to the touch of my hand, where it used to be comparatively warmer.
I can achieve orgasm, but there is no longer a build-up to it, it feels far weaker, my growth no longer throbs/contracts, and weirdly, any pleasurable sensations I feel are focused more around my perineum/anus. This used to be the complete reverse scenario before, where I would usually feel intense pleasure centered in my bottom-growth. So you can maybe see how I’m baffled, and just at a bit of a loss in regards to this issue, haha. :’ )
After experiencing this for just under one month, I have come to realize just how under-studied sexual dysfunction really is. Amongst both genders, but undoubtedly, it is particularly understudied in people biologically female.
But, I understand this is a very tricky issue since it has so many contributing factors. Your mental health conditions, what medications you take (anti-depressants, certain antibiotics, and finasteride for example are known to have sexual dysfunction risks), your age, your hormone levels, pelvic floor health, possibility of injury, or surgical complications.
Conclusion
Clearly, I’ve found myself at the center of quite a labyrinth, and have many I’s to dot, and t’s to cross.
I’ll be honest, this is distressing for me, extremely so. Writing this up isn’t easy, but I feel like there needs to be at least one good thing that comes from this, and if I’m indeed a rare case, I’d like anyone else going through any rare complication to know that they are not alone. I can’t say for sure that I will find a solution, but I will continue documenting my progress, or lack there-of. I stand in the fullest solidarity with those who might be experiencing something similar to this. It is extremely scary, and I understand.
Having said that, I won’t give up until I've tried everything that I possibly can. And if there is any advice I’d like to give from my position right now, please try not to stay in your head too much.
There is hope, even in these kinds of unfortunate circumstances, I promise. Don’t let it shred your mind up. Try to give yourself mental breaks, and maybe even allow yourself a bit more kindness than you usually would, for a while. I fully get just how easy it is to pin things on yourself, get lost in frustration, and self-punish. You don’t deserve to fall into a destructive cycle like this.
If no one else has yet, let me be the first to tell you, it is not your fault and it is not always going to feel this unbearable. This is one small phase in your life, and there is still a lot to look forward to.
If anyone is curious about anything, I'll be happy to answer as best I can.
Until next time, friends. : )

4 Weeks Post-Op, Total Laparoscopic Hysterectomy (w/bso and partial v-ectomy)
Hey there, I'm a transgender guy, currently recovering from a radical hysterectomy. This will be a lengthy post-op update, and I'll be discussing what could potentially be a rare sexual complication that I’m experiencing. Not that anyone should be deterred from getting a much needed hysterectomy or pelvic surgery by this, because if it really is a complication of my surgery, I assure you, it must be a very rare one.
I've decided to post this here, because I've found that many of you here, report identical symptoms to my own. Some here might be able to relate to my situation, I imagine. I cannot say for certain what the cause of my dysfunction is yet, but I will be chronicling my experience in attempting to locate, and resolve it.
It's too soon post-op for me to say whether any pain I'm experiencing could be a symptom yet, but the genital numbness I can say for certain, does not appear commonly reported to occur after this surgery.
This was also written in present-tense, and was around 4 weeks following my operation. As of right now, I'm a bit further along, but will continue updating. It would be too long to include everything I've written until now in one post, though.
Major Sexual Dysfunction (???)
That aside, I’ve had an unusual side effect in regards to my sexual function. No lost libido, sex-drive is the same as before surgery, but an almost complete loss of sexual sensation in my bottom growth/dick, (the clitoris, but enlarged from testosterone, and now more closely resembles a micro-penis). This is highly concerning, since I was told not to expect this sort of change, and haven’t had much luck finding many others dealing with the same issue, after some panicked research.
What worries me the most is without a doubt, the possibility of nerve damage, and so I’m hoping this might be a hormonal issue, or a short-term side effect from the surgery. I had an appointment today (8th of march) to consult about this, as well as to talk about the surgical menopause symptoms I’ve been experiencing (hot flashes, night sweats, mood changes).
The Appointment
I was told that the loss of sensation in the clitoral region isn’t something that has ever been reported by their previous patients, and if others had experienced this specifically, they did not mention it. Out of curiosity, I did ask what the most commonly reported sexual side effect was after hysterectomy, and it would be a dip in sex-drive, which yeah, made sense.
The doctor I met with took my symptoms into consideration, and noted to me that if it were nerve damage, I’d likely be experiencing vaginal pain, possible numbness going throughout my thighs/legs, and back pain as well. In short, she seems to think it’s much more likely to be a hormonal issue. She gave multiple in-depth reasons for this, but forgive me, I’m too exhausted to relay it accurately right now.
The Treatment
I’ll be starting on 1mg estrogen daily, and I was prescribed an estrogen cream with directions to apply it to my bottom-growth/dick nightly. I was not instructed to use it vaginally, as I’m not having vaginal pain, or symptoms of vaginal atrophy. With my particular issues, I was directed to focus on applying it externally.
I was also prescribed a topical compound cream, (which is just topical Viagra), meant to be used before participating in sexual activity, so it’s on an as-needed basis. I can optionally get this compound-cream with testosterone added to it, as well.
Oh, and I was given the option to take the systemic estrogen via patch or gel, but I already take pills daily (paxil, and finasteride), so I chose to take it in pill-form just out of convenience. I do understand this option is harder on the liver, though, and increases blood-clotting risk.
I can alternatively go to my primary care doctor to take estrogen in a longer-lasting, pellet-form. I’ve known my pcp to offer this ever since I first started seeing her. It allows for a stable stream of hormones, and I think the dosing is much more custom to you, rather than a standard set dose. I’ll be considering this, but would first prefer to see how I handle estrogen in my body in a way that I can stop at any time, should it produce negative effects.
I’ve definitely had a weight lifted after my appointment. Finally, being able to discuss this out loud, and get a professional’s opinion and reassurances, has been very easing mentally. It’s still an unnerving issue to be faced with, but I’m relieved to have started in a direction towards correcting it. :’ )
In-depth explanation of my sexual dysfunction
Will preface this again, with that I'm a transgender guy. I'll be referring to my genitals using different terms like bottom-growth/dick, simply because that's what I usually call it, but you can imagine the general clitoral region, externally. Hormone replacement has resulted in a significant amount of clitoral growth, so it has somewhat changed the way I experience stimulation/sexual pleasure.
Although I am not medically cleared for internal vaginal stimulation/penetration, I could not give a before and after anyways, because I did not partake in it before my surgery. Once I am cleared for it though, I will likely be testing to see if there is any general sensation loss there, too.
For those wondering precisely what kinds of sexual dysfunction I’m experiencing, it would be a loss of erotic sensation throughout my bottom-growth/dick, with dulled tactile sensation as well. I can no longer get erect, which is something that occurred naturally, as well as from direct stimulation very easily, beforehand. The glans/head physically appears less pink, and looks whitepaled. It’s also cool to the touch of my hand, where it used to be comparatively warmer.
I can achieve orgasm, but there is no longer a build-up to it, it feels far weaker, my growth no longer throbs/contracts, and weirdly, any pleasurable sensations I feel are focused more around my perineum/anus. This used to be the complete reverse scenario before, where I would usually feel intense pleasure centered in my bottom-growth. So you can maybe see how I’m baffled, and just at a bit of a loss in regards to this issue, haha. :’ )
After experiencing this for just under one month, I have come to realize just how under-studied sexual dysfunction really is. Amongst both genders, but undoubtedly, it is particularly understudied in people biologically female.
But, I understand this is a very tricky issue since it has so many contributing factors. Your mental health conditions, what medications you take (anti-depressants, certain antibiotics, and finasteride for example are known to have sexual dysfunction risks), your age, your hormone levels, pelvic floor health, possibility of injury, or surgical complications.
Conclusion
Clearly, I’ve found myself at the center of quite a labyrinth, and have many I’s to dot, and t’s to cross.
I’ll be honest, this is distressing for me, extremely so. Writing this up isn’t easy, but I feel like there needs to be at least one good thing that comes from this, and if I’m indeed a rare case, I’d like anyone else going through any rare complication to know that they are not alone. I can’t say for sure that I will find a solution, but I will continue documenting my progress, or lack there-of. I stand in the fullest solidarity with those who might be experiencing something similar to this. It is extremely scary, and I understand.
Having said that, I won’t give up until I've tried everything that I possibly can. And if there is any advice I’d like to give from my position right now, please try not to stay in your head too much.
There is hope, even in these kinds of unfortunate circumstances, I promise. Don’t let it shred your mind up. Try to give yourself mental breaks, and maybe even allow yourself a bit more kindness than you usually would, for a while. I fully get just how easy it is to pin things on yourself, get lost in frustration, and self-punish. You don’t deserve to fall into a destructive cycle like this.
If no one else has yet, let me be the first to tell you, it is not your fault and it is not always going to feel this unbearable. This is one small phase in your life, and there is still a lot to look forward to.
If anyone is curious about anything, I'll be happy to answer as best I can.
Until next time, friends. : )

4 Weeks Post-Op, Total Laparoscopic Hysterectomy (w/bso and partial v-ectomy)
Hey there, I'm a transgender guy, currently recovering from a radical hysterectomy. This will be a lengthy post-op update, and I'll be discussing what could potentially be a rare sexual complication that I’m experiencing. Not that anyone should be deterred from getting a much needed hysterectomy or pelvic surgery by this, because if it really is a complication of my surgery, I assure you, it must be a very rare one.
I've decided to post this here, because I've found that many of you here, amongst both sexes report identical symptoms to my own. Some here might be able to relate to my situation, I imagine. I cannot say for certain what the cause of my dysfunction is yet, but I will be chronicling my experience in attempting to locate, and resolve it.
This was also written in present-tense, and was around 4 weeks following my operation. As of right now, I'm a bit further along, but will continue updating. It would be too long to include everything I've written until now in one post, though.
Major Sexual Dysfunction (???)
That aside, I’ve had an unusual side effect in regards to my sexual function. No lost libido, sex-drive is the same as before surgery, but an almost complete loss of sexual sensation in my bottom growth/dick, (the clitoris, but enlarged from testosterone, and now more closely resembles a micro-penis). This is highly concerning, since I was told not to expect this sort of change, and haven’t had much luck finding many others dealing with the same issue, after some panicked research.
What worries me the most is without a doubt, the possibility of nerve damage, and so I’m hoping this might be a hormonal issue, or a short-term side effect from the surgery. I had an appointment today (8th of march) to consult about this, as well as to talk about the surgical menopause symptoms I’ve been experiencing (hot flashes, night sweats, mood changes).
The Appointment
I was told that the loss of sensation in the clitoral region isn’t something that has ever been reported by their previous patients, and if others had experienced this specifically, they did not mention it. Out of curiosity, I did ask what the most commonly reported sexual side effect was after hysterectomy, and it would be a dip in sex-drive, which yeah, made sense.
The doctor I met with took my symptoms into consideration, and noted to me that if it were nerve damage, I’d likely be experiencing vaginal pain, possible numbness going throughout my thighs/legs, and back pain as well. In short, she seems to think it’s much more likely to be a hormonal issue. She gave multiple in-depth reasons for this, but forgive me, I’m too exhausted to relay it accurately right now.
The Treatment
I’ll be starting on 1mg estrogen daily, and I was prescribed an estrogen cream with directions to apply it to my bottom-growth/dick nightly. I was not instructed to use it vaginally, as I’m not having vaginal pain, or symptoms of vaginal atrophy. With my particular issues, I was directed to focus on applying it externally.
I was also prescribed a topical compound cream, (which is just topical Viagra), meant to be used before participating in sexual activity, so it’s on an as-needed basis. I can optionally get this compound-cream with testosterone added to it, as well.
Oh, and I was given the option to take the systemic estrogen via patch or gel, but I already take pills daily (paxil, and finasteride), so I chose to take it in pill-form just out of convenience. I do understand this option is harder on the liver, though, and increases blood-clotting risk.
I can alternatively go to my primary care doctor to take estrogen in a longer-lasting, pellet-form. I’ve known my pcp to offer this ever since I first started seeing her. It allows for a stable stream of hormones, and I think the dosing is much more custom to you, rather than a standard set dose. I’ll be considering this, but would first prefer to see how I handle estrogen in my body in a way that I can stop at any time, should it produce negative effects.
I’ve definitely had a weight lifted after my appointment. Finally, being able to discuss this out loud, and get a professional’s opinion and reassurances, has been very easing mentally. It’s still an unnerving issue to be faced with, but I’m relieved to have started in a direction towards correcting it. :’ )
In-depth explanation of my sexual dysfunction
Will preface this again, with that I'm a transgender guy. I'll be referring to my genitals using different terms like bottom-growth/dick, simply because that's what I usually call it, but you can imagine the general clitoral region, externally. Hormone replacement has resulted in a significant amount of clitoral growth, so it has somewhat changed the way I experience stimulation/sexual pleasure.
Although I am not medically cleared for internal vaginal stimulation/penetration, I could not give a before and after anyways, because I did not partake in it before my surgery. Once I am cleared for it though, I will likely be testing to see if there is any general sensation loss there, too.
For those wondering precisely what kinds of sexual dysfunction I’m experiencing, it would be a loss of erotic sensation throughout my bottom-growth/dick, with dulled tactile sensation as well. I can no longer get erect, which is something that occurred naturally, as well as from direct stimulation very easily, beforehand. The glans/head physically appears less pink, and looks whitepaled. It’s also cool to the touch of my hand, where it used to be comparatively warmer.
I can achieve orgasm, but there is no longer a build-up to it, it feels far weaker, my growth no longer throbs/contracts, and weirdly, any pleasurable sensations I feel are focused more around my perineum/anus. This used to be the complete reverse scenario before, where I would usually feel intense pleasure centered in my bottom-growth. So you can maybe see how I’m baffled, and just at a bit of a loss in regards to this issue, haha. :’ )
After experiencing this for just under one month, I have come to realize just how under-studied sexual dysfunction really is. Amongst both genders, but undoubtedly, it is particularly understudied in people biologically female.
But, I understand this is a very tricky issue since it has so many contributing factors. Your mental health conditions, what medications you take (anti-depressants, certain antibiotics, and finasteride for example are known to have sexual dysfunction risks), your age, your hormone levels, pelvic floor health, possibility of injury, or surgical complications.
Conclusion
Clearly, I’ve found myself at the center of quite a labyrinth, and have many I’s to dot, and t’s to cross.
I’ll be honest, this is distressing for me, extremely so. Writing this up isn’t easy, but I feel like there needs to be at least one good thing that comes from this, and if I’m indeed a rare case, I’d like anyone else going through any rare complication to know that they are not alone. I can’t say for sure that I will find a solution, but I will continue documenting my progress, or lack there-of. I stand in the fullest solidarity with those who might be experiencing something similar to this. It is extremely scary, and I understand.
Having said that, I won’t give up until I've tried everything that I possibly can. And if there is any advice I’d like to give from my position right now, please try not to stay in your head too much.
There is hope, even in these kinds of unfortunate circumstances, I promise. Don’t let it shred your mind up. Try to give yourself mental breaks, and maybe even allow yourself a bit more kindness than you usually would, for a while. I fully get just how easy it is to pin things on yourself, get lost in frustration, and self-punish. You don’t deserve to fall into a destructive cycle like this.
If no one else has yet, let me be the first to tell you, it is not your fault and it is not always going to feel this unbearable. This is one small phase in your life, and there is still a lot to look forward to.
If anyone is curious about anything, I'll be happy to answer as best I can.
Until next time, friends. : )

4 Weeks Post-Op, Total Laparoscopic Hysterectomy (w/bso and partial v-ectomy)
Hey there, I'm a transgender guy, currently recovering from a radical hysterectomy. This will be a lengthy post-op update, and I'll be discussing what could potentially be a rare sexual complication that I’m experiencing. Not that anyone should be deterred from getting a much needed hysterectomy by this, because if it really is a complication of my surgery, I assure you, it must be a very rare one.
I've decided to post this here, because I've found that the dysfunction I'm experiencing sounds much like clitoral atrophy, which is something I've noticed has been brought up in this subreddit before. Albeit in my case, it's a potential issue on-set by surgical menopause, rather than natural menopause. Having said that, I feel that there may be some here who can relate to my situation, despite my being transgender.
This was also written in present-tense, and was around 4 weeks following my operation. As of right now, I'm a bit further along, but will continue updating. It would be too long to include everything I've written until now in one post, though.
Major Sexual Dysfunction (???)
That aside, I’ve had an unusual side effect in regards to my sexual function. No lost libido, sex-drive is the same as before surgery, but an almost complete loss of sexual sensation in my bottom growth/dick, (the clitoris, but enlarged from testosterone, and now more closely resembles a micro-penis). This is highly concerning, since I was told not to expect this sort of change, and haven’t had much luck finding many others dealing with the same issue, after some panicked research.
What worries me the most is without a doubt, the possibility of nerve damage, and so I’m hoping this might be a hormonal issue, or a short-term side effect from the surgery. I had an appointment today (8th of march) to consult about this, as well as to talk about the surgical menopause symptoms I’ve been experiencing (hot flashes, night sweats, mood changes).
The Appointment
I was told that the loss of sensation in the clitoral region isn’t something that has ever been reported by their previous patients, and if others had experienced this specifically, they did not mention it. Out of curiosity, I did ask what the most commonly reported sexual side effect was after hysterectomy, and it would be a dip in sex-drive, which yeah, made sense.
The doctor I met with took my symptoms into consideration, and noted to me that if it were nerve damage, I’d likely be experiencing vaginal pain, possible numbness going throughout my thighs/legs, and back pain as well. In short, she seems to think it’s much more likely to be a hormonal issue. She gave multiple in-depth reasons for this, but forgive me, I’m too exhausted to relay it accurately right now.
The Treatment
I’ll be starting on 1mg estrogen daily, and I was prescribed an estrogen cream with directions to apply it to my bottom-growth/dick nightly. I was not instructed to use it vaginally, as I’m not having vaginal pain, or symptoms of vaginal atrophy. With my particular issues, I was directed to focus on applying it externally.
I was also prescribed a topical compound cream, (which is just topical Viagra), meant to be used before participating in sexual activity, so it’s on an as-needed basis. I can optionally get this compound-cream with testosterone added to it, as well.
Oh, and I was given the option to take the systemic estrogen via patch or gel, but I already take pills daily (paxil, and finasteride), so I chose to take it in pill-form just out of convenience. I do understand this option is harder on the liver, though, and increases blood-clotting risk.
I can alternatively go to my primary care doctor to take estrogen in a longer-lasting, pellet-form. I’ve known my pcp to offer this ever since I first started seeing her. It allows for a stable stream of hormones, and I think the dosing is much more custom to you, rather than a standard set dose. I’ll be considering this, but would first prefer to see how I handle estrogen in my body in a way that I can stop at any time, should it produce negative effects.
I’ve definitely had a weight lifted after my appointment. Finally, being able to discuss this out loud, and get a professional’s opinion and reassurances, has been very easing mentally. It’s still an unnerving issue to be faced with, but I’m relieved to have started in a direction towards correcting it. :’ )
In-depth explanation of my sexual dysfunction
Will preface this again, with that I'm a transgender guy. I'll be referring to my genitals using different terms like bottom-growth/dick, simply because that's what I usually call it, but you can imagine the general clitoral region, externally. Hormone replacement has resulted in a significant amount of clitoral growth, so it has somewhat changed the way I experience stimulation/sexual pleasure.
Although I am not medically cleared for internal vaginal stimulation/penetration, I could not give a before and after anyways, because I did not partake in it before my surgery. Once I am cleared for it though, I will likely be testing to see if there is any general sensation loss there, too.
For those wondering precisely what kinds of sexual dysfunction I’m experiencing, it would be a loss of erotic sensation throughout my bottom-growth/dick, with dulled tactile sensation as well. I can no longer get erect, which is something that occurred naturally, as well as from direct stimulation very easily, beforehand. The glans/head physically appears less pink, and looks whitepaled. It’s also cool to the touch of my hand, where it used to be comparatively warmer.
I can achieve orgasm, but there is no longer a build-up to it, it feels far weaker, my growth no longer throbs/contracts, and weirdly, any pleasurable sensations I feel are focused more around my perineum/anus. This used to be the complete reverse scenario before, where I would usually feel intense pleasure centered in my bottom-growth. So you can maybe see how I’m baffled, and just at a bit of a loss in regards to this issue, haha. :’ )
After experiencing this for just under one month, I have come to realize just how under-studied sexual dysfunction really is. Amongst both genders, but undoubtedly, it is particularly understudied in people biologically female.
But, I understand this is a very tricky issue since it has so many contributing factors. Your mental health conditions, what medications you take (anti-depressants, certain antibiotics, and finasteride for example are known to have sexual dysfunction risks), your age, your hormone levels, pelvic floor health, possibility of injury, or surgical complications.
Conclusion
Clearly, I’ve found myself at the center of quite a labyrinth, and have many I’s to dot, and t’s to cross.
I’ll be honest, this is distressing for me, extremely so. Writing this up isn’t easy, but I feel like there needs to be at least one good thing that comes from this, and if I’m indeed a rare case, I’d like anyone else going through any rare complication to know that they are not alone. I can’t say for sure that I will find a solution, but I will continue documenting my progress, or lack there-of. I stand in the fullest solidarity with those who might be experiencing something similar to this. It is extremely scary, and I understand.
Having said that, I won’t give up until I've tried everything that I possibly can. And if there is any advice I’d like to give from my position right now, please try not to stay in your head too much.
There is hope, even in these kinds of unfortunate circumstances, I promise. Don’t let it shred your mind up. Try to give yourself mental breaks, and maybe even allow yourself a bit more kindness than you usually would, for a while. I fully get just how easy it is to pin things on yourself, get lost in frustration, and self-punish. You don’t deserve to fall into a destructive cycle like this.
If no one else has yet, let me be the first to tell you, it is not your fault and it is not always going to feel this unbearable. This is one small phase in your life, and there is still a lot to look forward to.
If anyone is curious about anything, I'll be happy to answer as best I can.
Until next time, friends. : )

4 Weeks Post-op (Total Laparoscopic Hysterectomy w/bso and partial v-ectomy)
Hey there, I’m here with a lengthy post-op update, and will be discussing what could potentially be a rare sexual complication that I’m experiencing. Not that anyone should be deterred from getting a much needed hysterectomy by this, because if it really is a complication of surgery, I assure you, it must be a very rare one.
This was also written in present-tense, and was around 4 weeks following my operation. As of right now, I'm a bit further along, but will continue updating. It would be too long to include everything I've written until now in one post, though.
Laparoscopic Incisions
So I began scar-care on my incisions at about 3 and a half weeks post-op, applying mederma once a day, then began using silicone scar-tape after a few days into the mederma. I ordered the tape in, so I had to wait a few days before starting.
I’ve been wearing the tape since it arrived nearly 24/7 though, and have been massaging gently around each scar for 1-3 minutes once a day. Will update on how this goes.
Major Sexual Dysfunction (???)
That aside, I’ve had an unusual side effect in regards to my sexual function. No lost libido, sex-drive is the same as before surgery, but an almost complete loss of sexual sensation in my bottom growth, (the clitoris, but enlarged from testosterone, and now more closely resembles a micro-penis). This is highly concerning, since I was told not to expect this sort of change, and haven’t had much luck finding many others dealing with the same issue, after some panicked research.
What worries me the most is without a doubt, the possibility of nerve damage, and so I’m hoping this might be a hormonal issue, or a short-term side effect from the surgery. I had an appointment today (8th of march) to consult about this, as well as to talk about the surgical menopause symptoms I’ve been experiencing (hot flashes, night sweats, mood changes).
The Appointment
I was told that the loss of sensation in the clitoral region isn’t something that has ever been reported by their previous patients, and if others had experienced this specifically, they did not mention it. Out of curiosity, I did ask what the most commonly reported sexual side effect was after hysterectomy, and it would be a dip in sex-drive, which yeah, made sense.
The doctor I met with took my symptoms into consideration, and noted to me that if it were nerve damage, I’d likely be experiencing vaginal pain, possible numbness going throughout my thighs/legs, and back pain as well. In short, she seems to think it’s much more likely to be a hormonal issue. She gave multiple in-depth reasons for this, but forgive me, I’m too exhausted to relay it accurately right now.
The Treatment
I’ll be starting on 1mg estrogen daily, and I was prescribed an estrogen cream with directions to apply it to my bottom-growth nightly. I was not instructed to use it vaginally, as I’m not having vaginal pain, or symptoms of vaginal atrophy. With my particular issues, I was directed to focus on applying it externally.
I was also prescribed a topical compound cream, (which is just topical Viagra), meant to be used before participating in sexual activity, so it’s on an as-needed basis. I can optionally get this compound-cream with testosterone added to it, as well.
Oh, and I was given the option to take the systemic estrogen via patch or gel, but I already take pills daily (paxil, and finasteride), so I chose to take it in pill-form just out of convenience. I do understand this option is harder on the liver, though, and increases blood-clotting risk.
I can alternatively go to my primary care doctor to take estrogen in a longer-lasting, pellet-form. I’ve known my pcp to offer this ever since I first started seeing her. It allows for a stable stream of hormones, and I think the dosing is much more custom to you, rather than a standard set dose. I’ll be considering this, but would first prefer to see how I handle estrogen in my body in a way that I can stop at any time, should it produce negative effects.
I’ve definitely had a weight lifted after my appointment. Finally, being able to discuss this out loud, and get a professional’s opinion and reassurances, has been very easing mentally. It’s still an unnerving issue to be faced with, but I’m relieved to have started in a direction towards correcting it. :’ )
In-depth explanation of my sexual dysfunction
Will preface this, with that I'm a transgender guy. I'll be referring to my genitals using different terms like bottom-growth/dick, simply because that's what I usually call it, but you can imagine the general clitoral region, externally. Hormone replacement has resulted in a significant amount of clitoral growth, so it has somewhat changed the way I experience stimulation/sexual pleasure.
Although I am not cleared for internal vaginal stimulation/penetration, I could not give a before and after anyways, because I did not partake in it before my surgery. Once I am cleared though, I will likely be testing to see if there is any general sensation loss there, too.
For those wondering precisely what kinds of sexual dysfunction I’m experiencing, it would be a loss of erotic sensation throughout my bottom-growth/dick, with dulled tactile sensation as well. I can no longer get erect, which is something that occurred naturally, as well as from direct stimulation very easily, beforehand. The glans/head physically appears less pink, and looks whitepaled. It’s also cool to the touch of my hand, where it used to be comparatively warmer.
I can achieve orgasm, but there is no longer a build-up to it, it feels far weaker, my growth no longer throbs/contracts, and weirdly, any pleasurable sensations I feel are focused more around my perineum/anus. This used to be the complete reverse scenario before, where I would usually feel intense pleasure centered in my bottom-growth. So you can maybe see how I’m baffled, and just at a bit of a loss in regards to this issue, haha. :’ )
After experiencing this for just under one month, I have come to realize just how under-studied sexual dysfunction really is. Amongst both genders, but undoubtedly, it is particularly understudied in people biologically female.
But, I understand this is a very tricky issue since it has so many contributing factors. Your mental health conditions, what medications you take (anti-depressants, certain antibiotics, and finasteride for example are known to have sexual dysfunction risks), your age, your hormone levels, pelvic floor health, possibility of injury, or surgical complications.
Conclusion
Clearly, I’ve found myself at the center of quite a labyrinth, and have many I’s to dot, and t’s to cross.
I’ll be honest, this is distressing for me, extremely so. Writing this up isn’t easy, but I feel like there needs to be at least one good thing that comes from this, and if I’m indeed a rare case, I’d like anyone else going through any rare complication to know that they are not alone. I can’t say for sure that I will find a solution, but I will continue documenting my progress, or lack there-of. I stand in the fullest solidarity with those who might be experiencing something similar to this. It is extremely scary, and I understand.
Having said that, I won’t give up until I've tried everything that I possibly can. And if there is any advice I’d like to give from my position right now, please try not to stay in your head too much.
There is hope, even in these kinds of unfortunate circumstances I promise. Don’t let it shred your mind up. Try to give yourself mental breaks, and maybe even allow yourself a bit more kindness than you usually would, for a while. I fully get just how easy it is to pin things on yourself, get lost in frustration, and self-punish. You don’t deserve to fall into a destructive cycle like this.
If no one else has yet, let me be the first to tell you, it is not your fault and it is not always going to feel this unbearable. This is one small phase in your life, and there is still a lot to look forward to.
If anyone is curious about anything, I'll be happy to answer as best I can.
Until next time, friends. : )