For context, I’m a 25yo female, that comes from a mixed background (my mother 56F is a white woman from Italy, my father is from the Balkans and migrated to my country when he was younger). This is relevant and you will understand later.
I moved away from home as soon as I could when I was 18 after a not so good childhood, and currently live in another European country. My parents are divorced, my father is not really in the picture, I keep in touch with my mother on a daily basis and come visit her and the rest of the family once or twice a year. We never had the best relationship but since I moved out it improved a lot. I’d say we get along better when I’m far away from home.
Anyway, back to the reason of this post. I’ve been seeing this guy for more than a year, he’s great, we’re slowly getting to know each other and see where this is going. We are not in a rush but of course this is a relationship and I felt it was time to tell something more to my mother. I’ve always been quite open about my relationships and people I was dating, however since getting older I started being more private as I don’t think it would be good to mention every failed date to my mother (lol). We come from a typical small town where people are bigots and close-minded. The news on the tv are constantly complaining about “immigrants coming to our country” and jadajadajada. The government is right wing. So yeah, being racist is almost the norm, unfortunately.
I didn’t really mentioned much about this guy, first of all cause I’m trying to keep it private but also because I could imagine her reaction, since she’s the standard average middle age woman that you find on Facebook without much culture. She is ignorant not as an insult but in the real sense of the word: she ignores, she doesn’t inform herself and just believes whatever the media tells her.
The day after I arrived we were casually talking before bed and she just kept asking “C’mon, don’t you have a pic of this guy? Show me! C’mon c’mon! I’m your mother!” so, one side of me didn’t wanna show her, the other one was excited cause at the end of the day I’m proud of my relationship and I was happy to tell her more (maybe naively hoping for a good outcome…). So without thinking much I showed her one of the best pictures of him. Literally in the millisecond while I was showing her the picture she said something like: “hope it’s not a n****” (WHATTT???).
At that point the phone was already on her face. It was done. She said it, and at the same time she saw the picture. She was speechless and I was too. I was ashamed of her. And sad.
She didn’t say anything more for the following 10 minutes, she went to her room and I went to mine. Afterwards she just asked “does he even work?!” And I told her “don’t worry about it, he’s better off than the both of us” just to make her shut up about that question that I found so disrespectful. This made me just so sad, and disappointed.
But the worst had yet to come. We didn’t speak much about it at all until today.
We were having a casual conversation during the afternoon when the relationship topic came out. In particular, we were talking about how your partner should improve your life and not making it worse, meaning he should make you happy, he should bring good positive vibes, get along etc. that’s what I was thinking and referring to. But she started being very materialistic, she asked me “so, in which way is he improving your life?!” in a very aggressive sassy tone “I don’t see anything changing“ she said. I was mentioning that he makes me happy when the conversation degenerated. All sort of things came out of it.
She started by saying:
“well, I truly hopes this will be just a friend and you will keep it like that”
then she continued with:
“please take birth control precautions before you regret it”
“don’t come to me later saying I didn’t stop you”
and the cherry on top was:
“I would have preferred if you told me you were a lesbian cause at least that is cool nowadays”.
I was speechless and I still am.
I asked her what is it that she doesn’t like and what is she basing her opinions on, since she literally knows nothing about him. She couldn’t answer. She kept repeating the same things over and over and she also said she would never want to meet him.
I have to mention that the few guys she met that I was dating were of different cultures, but she never had a problem with them, I guess because the skin color was the same… and in her mind there are probably foreigners of Class A, B, C…
I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I neither expected such a bad reaction.
All this hurts me so much.
I don’t know what to do.
In my mind it neither makes sense cause she married an immigrant but it seems like she never really came to terms with it, she never really accepted it. For instance, I know nothing about my father’s culture, I never learned the language or interesting facts about it because nobody ever thought me anything about it. I only learned about my mother’s culture, the one of the country I lived in. And I always felt out of place because this country is extremely racist. The fact that my father was not a good husband or father has nothing to do with where he comes from. If a person is an idiot, is an idiot no matter what. And I told her this when we were talking. The fact that she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that I will, just because I’m seeing someone from a different culture. I also explained to her that I am myself an immigrant, since I’m living in another country. But it doesn’t seem to click in her head. And when I told her, to her face, that she is indeed racist, she obviously denied it, because how can she be racist if she married an immigrant herself?
And of course during today’s conversation there was some victim behavior on her side, because every time I come back here it’s certain that we are gonna fight and every time it happens I say stuff like “let’s see when and if I will come back again!”. So she was bringing that up cause the other day I said “the first racist comment I hear I’m gone”. She mentioned that, saying I don’t care about her, that she has to beg for me to call her (mind you, we write good morning, good night, text here and there during the day and we talk on the phone 3/4 times a week…). She even said that “she lost me already the moment I left”. Honestly, I don’t know what else more than this she expects from me if what I do is not enough already.
I don’t really know how to handle this. And I’m also just venting and need some support. I wished we could all act as adults, respect each other, have a normal relationship. Am I asking for too much?!
Any advice is highly appreciated.
I’ll be stuck in her house for the next two days and I’ll leave on Thursday. I want her to think about her actions and realize where she did wrong before I leave. I don’t wanna put this under the carpet cause it’s unacceptable and will never forget it.
TL;DR: my 25F mother 56F doesn’t approve of my boyfriend 28M just because of the color of his skin and his religion. Her opinion is based solely on a photo I showed her and at the same time she plays the victim and claims she lost me the moment I moved abroad and I don’t care about her even if we talk everyday. I wished there was a way to behave like adults. Advices on setting boundaries?

Hello 3% men. I came across CCW in 2018 after a 3 year relationship ended and read the book religiously during that period. 2 years later I met a truly beautiful woman who seemingly became my dream woman. Yet we both made some mistakes during our first 2 years that now makes any sense of peace/stability together now tenuous at best. She may also have BPD/CPTSD, which I only really learned more about in the last 12-18 months.
Over the 4 years we were together there's been tons of drama, self-harm and even one trip to the ER. I am ashamed to say a lot of these episodes have been her reaction to things I've done to trigger her sense of abandonment. While I recognize it's not entirely my responsibility to regulate someone else's emotions or actions, the guilt in the wake of these incidents is quite overwhelming. Only in the last few months have do I recognize my presence in her life is a trigger for these behaviors.
The first time I saw her self-harm for instance was after my ex called me 6 months in and I lied about her getting in touch (Corey says don't disclose things of this nature so I didn't think much of it). Later when she saw my phone, I confessed I did this to avoid an uncomfortable conversation and not because I wanted to do anything nefarious (this ex lives in another country) but she would not accept my excuse. The guilt from this mistake in particular still haunts me as until this point everything had been going super smooth/textbook. I also didn't have the strength at the time to cut this relationship off when I saw what I recognized was toxic behavior - probably reflective of my own childhood wounding.
After lots of ups and downs, she broke up with me in September 2023. We got back together in February for a month this year after I broke no contact and she invited me out for a drink. In March we ended things again cause the cycle of idealization-devaluation was getting too much for me. In April I reached out again and asked to see her; we met up and all the feelings are still very much there but so is the pattern of idealization/devaluation; good days followed by devaluing days. Only now am I recognizing this to be a classic BPD/CPTSD cycle and she seems more receptive to the idea of needing help/therapy.
Last week she invited me to hang out and we had a wonderful day (lots of making out, some clothes came off, "I love you's" but no hooking up). Afterwards she told me she wants to feel stable and doesn't want to date or see me. I told her I would respect her wishes but then she messaged me two days ago and I offered to see each other on Thursday.
After all the ups and downs I do feel very much I am in the grips of a trauma bond. But I also feel like our connection is very real and genuine. At the same time I know someone who loves me would never try to deliberately hurt me yet when she's in the devaluation stage, she has no empathy and says brutally cutting things, which I effectively have to deflect til the episode passes.
Is it even possible to salvage this sort of thing? Give the space, let her work on herself and I on myself? I know that's what I should do but my attachment to this woman is unlike anything I've ever experienced. Tips from men who have been through something similar?

I need advice on finding a care provider to get back on T after a long break from it, and I'm nervous.
I am a trans guy and I want to start taking T again. When I first wanted to transition, I talked to my GP, who said "Cool, that's awesome for you. I don't know enough about trans care to feel comfortable helping you, so I'm going to refer you to the endocrinologist at this clinic."
It was fantastic and I actually got my first T shot at that first appointment. She didn't interrogate me or anything - I told her I had been out as a man socially for several years and she said she usually just asks people if they have been certain they want this for a year.
I was on T for just less than a year before I got kicked of my apartment by abusive roommates and had to move back in with my bat shit insane qanon parents who think trans people need to be eradicated for the sake of the children. I stopped taking t for my own safety and have been stuck in this weird androgynous voice crackly limbo for like three years now.
Finally got into my own apartment with someone I actually trust and I am dying to get back on T. The issue is, I looked up my old endocrinologist and she's not listed as one. She is a family medicine physicians assistant at her own practice now. I actually do not know if she was EVER listed as a PHD doctor or if she was always a PA and how that effects the care she can give.
I live in a red state that just passed some scary anti trans shit. I'm worried about shopping around for a provider. Should I talk to my GP again? are PAs able to prescribe HRT? If I could go see my old endocrinologist, that would be fine, because while my PCP is great, the administration at that clinic sucks and sometimes I would have a MA actually in the middle of injecting T into me while they misgender me.
I'm a long time reddit comment-stalker but I don't post much so I apologize if there are any issues with this post.

Personally, gender is merely a linguistic term that’s used in place of ‘sex’. Perhaps this is due to the English word ‘sex’ referring to both the state of being male/female and also an intimate physical act involving genitals but it’s often used as a more ‘polite’ form of sex for that reason.
I don’t think gender identity exists. I reckon ‘gender identity’ is nothing more than personality but the way TRA’s tell it, it sounds more like a soul. I don’t think it’s possible to ‘know’ that you’re meant to be a woman or a man. The only way I can see someone ‘knowing’ that they’re in the ‘wrong’ body would be if a mad scientist invented a machine that could seamlessly switch the brain and nervous system of one body into another body. For example, if a mad scientist kidnapped me and switched my brain and nervous system into the body of a middle aged Chinese man then I would ‘know’ I am in the ‘wrong’ body when I wake up and look myself in the mirror because I have a mental image of my face developed over many years of looking at that face in the mirror as it’s changed with age. I know the aches and pains of my body, I know the scars and burns and how I received them. Hence I have an actual experience being in the ‘right’ body for me to be able to identify immediately what is ‘wrong’ with the body the mad scientist has put me into. A trans person doesn’t have a similar sort of reference since they’ve never been in any body other than the one they have right now. Their frame of reference is really just stereotypes of what a man or a woman is supposed to be that they then wish to embody. But this is the opposite of what we should be striving for.
Now I certainly do believe that stereotypes of the genders exist and I think a few of them are due to our evolutionary biology (women being stereotyped as nurturing is due to the effects of oestrogen on pair bonding) but I think that most social stereotypes are projected onto the sexes rather than being something that arises from anything innate. During the Victorian era in England women were barred from medicine because they were viewed as being intellectually incapable of handling the stress. Yet for the last 30 years most new medical students in England have been women. Clearly the social stereotype that was projected onto women in the Victorian era was utterly false.
This raises the question, given that the social stereotype was that medicine was a man’s profession does then mean that the Victorian women who did want to become doctors were trans and they didn’t know it? Their gender identity clearly led them to wish to do something that only victorian men could do so maybe they were actually men in women’s bodies. Clearly that’s not the case. Women were not kept out of any profession because of a ‘gender identity’, they were kept out of the profession because they had particular types of bodies and identifying as a man would have made no difference since the stereotypes were projected onto pellle based on their sex.
For my part I find gender ideology to be convoluted, dishonest, and ultimately regressive. It ends up upholding the very stereotypes it claims to want to eliminate by reducing womanhood to a set of behaviours, styles, and manners. We see the dishonesty of the gender ideology movement whenever the definition of woman comes up for debate, or when sex segregated spaces are discussed. On one hand the ideologies claim that gender and sex are completely unrelated but then constantly push to blur the two by pushing trans people into spaces that have been carved out for women on the basis of sex. They want their cake and to eat it too.
My hope is that gender ideology can be defeated through rational argumentation and I believe that the fight back has already began and is wining battles (at least in England), but this is made hard by the total refusal of trans rights activists to engage with the issues at hand often adopting a ‘no debate’ policy perhaps due to knowing their position is founded on sand.
This subreddit is an attempt to create a small space where gender critical voices can engage with those who take the opposite view or who don’t take any particular view. Join us!

It was one of those dreams you get in the morning between alarms.
I 'woke up' in the dream as if I was really awake in the morning. The first major event - I hear a woman's voice say something along the lines of "someone is trying to get in" with scratching outside of my bedroom window. I peak out through the blinds to investigate but don't see anyone or anything. I get a bad feeling thinking there's someone still trying to break into the apartment, so I go to the main living room/kitchen area and find everything in disarray - I had clothes strewn all over, my furniture was moved around, and the place was generally a disaster.
It was a dark and rainy morning, so colors looked desaturated apart from a very bright yellow fish balloon with a blew tail fin in the middle of the living room floor. When I picked it up, an extremely unnerving realization came over me where the intruder had already been in my house while I was sleeping and was the cause of the mess, and was simply coming back. At that moment, I heard a man at the front door with jangling keys. As soon as he started unlocking the door, I ran up and started pounding my fist against it and screaming to try and ward him off. I found a baseball bat and armed myself, but I heard him leave soon after.
This is my first time dreaming of something like this. I don't live in a place where a home invasion would be a concern, so it stands out to me. Most if my dreams are pretty mundane if I even remember them. It was incredibly vivid.
Some personal notes and details that stand out to me - maybe I can get some help figuring out what they mean?

• The woman's voice warning me
• The fish balloon
• The fact that the intruder wasn't actually breaking in, but had free access to my home by the sound of jangling keys.
• The intruder had already been inside my home while I slept.
• The fact I didn't see the intruder once during the whole dream - despite knowing it was a man. I heard heavy boots outside my door before hearing the jangling keys and the door unlocking.

I tried just googling some of the meanings, and I've found a few common themes, but they felt very broad and general. I was hoping here might be able to give better insight. Thank you!

TW: talk of 🍇 and S🅰️ (reddit moderators don’t like me)
Ok. this has gone on in my brain for too long and i’m ready for answers because i don’t know the answer.
in 2019, i asked this boy (when i was 13) in middle school, on a date as a dare over text. he said no cause he wasn’t interested in me and had a girlfriend. i respected that and left his phone # in my inbox. 15 minutes later, i get texts from 3 guys telling me they want to 🍇 me, have ykw with me, and saying I deserve better this kid, and other stuff that i have blurred from my memory. i hate myself for forgetting this, but from 5 years ago, im surprised i remember that this moment even happened. they would not stop spamming my inbox. obviously, i am shaking and terrified. why the heck am i getting these messages? i’m crying my eyes out. i continue to ask them to stop over and over strong but nicely but they wouldn’t stop spamming me. i also reply with a few “what the heck?”s. i finally man up and tell one of them to flip off and leave me alone. i suffer from OCD (diagnosed, OK) and i pick my bug bites, sometimes causing me to bleed. kids always notice the scars on my legs. i even once ate a scab. (disgusting, i know, but im a curious kid). this kid said “no one likes you because you pick your scabs and eat them.” i started shaking. how did he know?! i have been so secretive. without thinking, i deleted all three and went downstairs. i was scream sobbing to my mom. i told her what happens and she asks for my phone. i give it to her but the numbers were deleted. i never knew who those kids were. turns out, he posted my message on snapchat on his story and i didn’t see it because i didn’t have it then and those three guys saw my number at the top of the screen. they saw it because he didn’t crop my number. since then, i moved schools and exposed him for his acts on social media.
so reddit, am i a victim? i’m sorry if that is truly insensitive but im so so so confused and need answers.
also, any victims, please please don’t come for me. i know you know the answer, and im so sorry for any of that shit that has happened to you. i am always open to talk. i just truly need closure.

Certain sounds and textures can trigger a physical reaction of something moving on my body, like a wood block rolling on my back when it's extremely unpleasant. It feels as if someone's slowly sanding down my teeth with fine strains of cotton, im being electrocuted, and It as if something is poking and moving on my back while applying preasure all simultaneously. It's not common for me to feel it that strongly but the sound of iron wool rubbing against teflon pans can cause my whole body to feel as if involuntary waves of electricity and pressure are all along my back and limbs to the point where this has caused me to vomit on multiple occasions. Some sounds tickle the back of my neck and all along my spine and in my chest. Extremely high-pitched sounds that are almost just barely outside of my normal hearing range feel as if something's scratching the inside of my skull. Assumed for the longest time that this is simply due to sensory overload because I have adhd and autism, but it's a consistent experience, so now im curious. Unpleasant sounds feel more unpleasant when I'm stressed, but certain sounds also feel good, like brown noise feels like I have a weighted blanket on me. The sound of sand falling in an hourglass feels like I'm being gently scratched (mostly on my upper back). The base in EDM music feels like waves of energy pulsating from the middle of my abdomen and spreading out to the rest of my body in an even manner, but if all the audio is only playing in one ear the waves feel stronger on that side. I spent a good portion of my life constantly playing music. One of the things that gives me the most enjoyment in life is just laying down and either listening to music or ambient noise and enjoying the sensation of energy moving throughout my nerves and my rib cage. One of the main things that triggers it is the sound of a refrigerator that makes me feel like something's prickling the back of my neck and the top of my head.

Hello, it has become clear to me that romantic fulfillment is a fruitless pursuit, and in a bid to avoid unnecessary suffering, i would like to kill any romantic or sexual desires i may have.
I lack the social grace to charm people, and i have nothing to make up for it. I am prone to limerence, which has lead to some terrible spinouts that are often only visible to me in retrospect. I don't really have an issue making friends, people seem to like me. However, I am terrible at navigating anything more than a platonic friendship.
21, male, Never dated, not due to lack of trying, but rather lack of opportunity, I live in the middle of nowhere, and never went to public school (homeschooled + online college). Real bad ADHD, probably somewhere on the spectrum, on antidepressants, and im sure a litany of other problems i could be diagnosed with.
So far, ive found that, ironically, stimulants are the best answer, at least for sexual desire. Adderall turns me into a eunich for a soild 5 hours a day. Caffeine and nicotine are also highly effective, though the effects last much shorter. I didn't notice any real effect from the SSRI im perscibed (citalopram), maybe a slight dulling in desire. Weed and alchohol are classic "thoughts-b-gone" tools, but they also greatly restrict your ability to do much exept for sit on the couch, at least in effective doses.
Overall, im not looking for a "juzt b urswelf!" pep talk. If i wanted that, im one google search away from hundreds of websites trying to sell me dating coaches or Betterhelp subscriptions (funny that people just kind of forgot about that whole "unlicensed licensed therapist" thing, those checks gotta be fat).
What I want is an off switch.
If all I have to do is "wait for the right one", id rather not suffer while doing so.

Things tend to get heated around here, certain topics are heavily contested. I don't know about the rest of you, but as a bloody newbie all of that can be disheartening sometimes. It's not all bad, of course, there are a lot of interesting and helpful conversations going on in here, but it gets really scary sometimes.
Today I found these gems while reading Linji, so I decided to share them together with a few remarks. Please feel free to criticize or add your own!
From The Recorded Sayings of Linji, translated by J. C. Cleary:

“Good people of the Path, do not grasp what I say. Why? Be­cause verbal explanations have no basis: they are temporary sketches on the void, like images formed of colored clouds.

This short excerpt alone is already remarkable. Note that Linji does not tell us to disregard his words (which would be a paradoxical) but urges us to not grasp them. Grasping, clinging, attaching - futile attempts to hold on to something that is temporary.

Good people, there is no buddha that can be attained. Even the three vehicles, the five categories of beings, the round and the sudden manifestations of the teachings, [and all Buddhist for­mulations] are all just medicines to deal with the diseases of a cer­tain period.

The comparison to medicine further illustrates the conditional nature of verbal teachings. For instance, no skillful physician would prescribe laxatives for every ailment just because they helped in cases of constipation.

There is no real doctrine at all. If there are [doctrinal teachings], they are open announcements that show some semblance of [real truth], public verbal demonstrations. Arranged for effect, they explain as they do for the time being.

Again, there is no real, i.e. permanent and unchanging, doctrine. However, that doesn't mean those demonstrations have no worth.

“Good people, there are some misguided monks who attach their efforts to what is in these teachings, trying to find a worldtranscending truth, but they are making a mistake. If people seek Buddha, they lose Buddha; if they seek the Path, they lose the Path; if they seek the patriarchs, they lose the patriarchs.

I did that, just recently, maybe some of you did that, too. Isn't it liberating to let go of all that?

“Worthy people, make no mistake about it. For now I don’t care if you understand the sutras and the sastras, I don’t care if you are a prince or a high official, I don’t care if your eloquence is like a waterfall, I don’t care if you are intelligent and knowledge­able. All I require of you is correct understanding.

Have you ever felt like you're "not good enough" for Zen? Not "spiritually sharp", just run-of-the-mill? I certainly did, so reading that Linji doesn't care about all of that is powerful, encouraging.

Good people, even if you can interpret a hundred sutras and sastras, you are not as good as a simple monk without concerns. You may inter­pret them, but it is only to put down other people—you have the victory-and-loss mentality of the asura. You are ignorant of self and others, and are increasing your hellish karma.

Is it that simple? No more elbow mentality, no more heated discussions about who got it right?

“Better to have no concerns, to stop and rest. When hunger comes, eat. When sleep comes, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at us, but the wise know.

Yes, it's that simple. Let's chill and enjoy the little time we have left together.

I should be grateful. It has been a hell of an 11 months since this journey started. I have had the best doctors and nurses and radiation techs and surgeons at one of the world’s leading breast cancer facilities. My insurance has covered more or less everything without tooo much of a fight. My mom traveled across the country to help take care of my daughter, and my husband job has been way more accommodating than I ever could have dreamed. We have wonderful neighbors and friends who have helped when I’ve had to travel out of state for treatment (which has been basically constant).
And yet….
I am 34 with no family history or genetic mutations for this (TNBC w/ positive lymph nodes), or the surprise bonus second primary (tall cell thyroid) cancer. I didn’t get PCR, but I am an excellent advocate for myself and searched for a clinical trial that I was eligible for and was accepted.
I started the clinical trial on 5/10 (this past Friday), and I even got the investigational arm that I desperately wanted. I really should have absolutely nothing to complain about. Everything has fallen into place and is coming up roses.
But my hair was just starting to get to a length that wasn’t immediately identifiable as “cancer patient/survivor.” I can fake a cute piece-y bob. I am doing scalp cooling, but I have 15 more rounds of the experimental drug and absolutely all documentation indicates it causes alopecia and scalp cooling isn’t effective. There is something about having to go back to covering my head again that really takes the wind out of my sails. That and the bruises on my arms and the fatigue and the puffiness from the steroids. I look at pictures of myself from a year ago and I don’t even look like the same person. It makes me so sad.
Why can’t I just be grateful that I am able to get the new promising drugs?

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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As we are getting a trailer for a much changed version of the Second Age today, I decided I would share what a first season in a series might look like for the story of Tolkien’s Second Age, while staying very close to the timeline and characters. I’ve taken some ideas I’ve seen from other creators who have made similar attempts at this, namely Council of Rings and Tolkien Untangled, but most are my own. As of now I’m not aware of a complete outline that exists for the first season of this sort of adaptation. In any case, this outline is essentially a summary of a complete text with 10 chapters that exists but is still in progress.
I’ve split the season into 10 episodes, as I think that’s ideal, and into pairs of 3-episode arcs I call Sagas, which will cover certain time periods. But each of these sagas will more or less function like a contained story, following certain characters during periods of their lives. And each is about 3 episodes between 50-60 minutes, meaning each is the length of a long film.
I started with a compressed timeline where season 1 would take place between 1200-1600, starting with the year Annatar arrives in Ost-in-Edhil. In this timeline Tar-Aldarion would essentially switch places with Tar-Surion. I think that the actual canon timeline allows for a very interesting look at the differences in passage of time between elves, Númenoreans, and Middle Men. It's more challenging but also more rewarding. The drawbacks of the canon timeline are that Aldarion dies close to mid-season, whereas in the compressed timeline we could follow Aldarion as he ages throughout the season. Therefore the whole season takes place between SA 725 and SA 1600.
That being said, there are still a few alterations and non-canon additions. The big alteration is that Annatar steals the nine when he leaves Eregion around SA 1500, instead of when he destroys Ost-in-Edhil around SA 1695. The other non-canon additions are Middle Men characters, which there are few examples during this time period, that Annatar can begin to seduce with the Rings of Power.
This was just a bunch of fun for me, but I hope this effort will demonstrate that we can have a great story that stays faithful to Tolkien’s timeline and characters.

Sagas of the Second Age: Season 1
Saga 1 (Episodes 1-3): The Mariner (covering events from SA 725-750)
Elrond. In the first prologue scene around SA 440, Elros as an old man arrives in Mithlond to visit his brother Elrond. Elros is fulfilling a promise to Elrond to visit him when he senses death is near. The two brothers spend time together before Elros departs back for Númenor.
Aldarion. Three hundred years later around SA 725 in Númenor, Aldarion and Erendis witness the corination of his father Tar-Meneldur in Armenelos. The next day, Aldarion sets out from Númenor with his grandfather to spend a year at the court of High King Gil-galad, but he is told by Meneldur not to go beyond Mithlond. Eventually, Aldarion decides to travel outside Mithlond, against his father’s wishes. Elrond offers to join him, seeing an opportunity to spend time with his brother’s descendant. Together they discover the dwarf cities of Ered Luin, and then the future site of Vinyalondë at the mouth of the Gwathló. Aldarion discovers the that the Men of Middle-earth are not as evil as he was told by his family in Númenor, and that some even speak the same language of the Edain that he does. Elrond and Aldarion then travel to Amroth’s kingdom in Belfalas. While Amroth is showing Aldarion the black lands of Mordor in the distance, they are ambushed by orcs, and narrowly escape with their lives. Before departing back for Númenor, Aldarion says goodbye to his new friend Elrond and the High King Gil-galad. Back in Númenor, Aldarion meets Erendis again and proposes to her. She asks if he is done with his travels, he says he is, and she accepts.
High King Gil-galad. Gil-galad endeavors to heal the trauma of Middle-earth. While Aldarion is travelling the lands of Middle-earth, he goes to settle a conflict between kingdoms of Gwaithirum and Breeland. A battle ensues between these kingdoms of Men and Gil-galad is unable to stop it. Before Aldarion departs back for Númenor, Gil-galad tells him that he would very much welcome his help in mediating the conflicts of the tribes of Middle-earth, as Aldarion speaks their language. Gil-galad perceives the return of the shadow of Morgoth, and departs to discover the source.
Galadriel. By lake Evendim, Galadriel admits Celebrimbor into her company. Despite the history of their families and some initial distrust between them, they realize they have a shared vision for continuing the great works of Gondolin. Together they discover the dwarf kingdom of Kazad-dûm. Galadriel is able to convince the dwarves of the mutual benefit of their cooperation in crafting. Durin III is eventually convinced, he agrees to allow and to help with the establishment of the future capital of Eregion: Ost-in-Edhil. There the works of the Noldor and dwarves will benefit each other for many centuries.

Saga 2 (Episodes 4-6): The Stirring of Númenor (Covering events from SA 1075-1350)
Elrond. About three hundred years later in SA 1075, Elrond arrives in Númenor to see his friend, now king, Tar-Aldarion. He is also tasked to ask the Númenoreans to prepare for war, as Gil-galad is now certain of the return of the shadow of Morgoth. Tar-Aldarion, now an old man, has reached an age where he must yeild the sceptre, in the tradition of the Kings of Númenor. He decides to leave Númenor’s official response to Elrond as a decision to his sucessor. Aldarion has only had one daughter Ancalimë with Erendis, and it is clear that there has been much friction in the marriage. His sister’s son Soronto is the nearest male heir. This situation causes a conflict in Armenelos between supporters of Soronto and supporters of Ancalimë, also between those who want to heed Gil-galad's call and those who don't. Ancalimë is seen as the elf-friend, while Soronto is staunchly against the armament of Númenor. Aldarion decides to change the law succession in Númenor in favor of Ancalimë. When Ancalimë is crowned, she reverses her initial position to heed Gil-galad, and decides to preserve Númenor as a land of peace.
Galadriel. Ost-in-Edhil is a great city now, and both elves and dwarves are seen thriving. A visitor from Aman arrives who calls himself Annatar. He demonstrates himself to be akin to the Noldor in his love and expertise with crafts, and says he was a student of Aüle. He wins the favor of Celebrimbor and the Gwaith-i-Mírdain, the crafter's guild, and soon becomes the favored partner of Celebrimbor. As the friction between Galadriel and Annatar increases, Annatar moves the Gwaith-i-Mírdain turn on Galadriel. She decides to depart to Lórinand by route of Kazad-dûm with her daughter Celebrían, while Celeborn stays behid in Eregion. Galadriel is graciously welcomed in Kazad-dûm, and her relationship with the dwarves grows greater. At last, she arrives in Lórinand and meets the King Amdír.

Saga 3 (Episodes 7-9): The Rings of Power (covering events from SA 1500-1590)
Celebrimbor. More than a hundred years later, sixteen Rings of Power are forged in Ost-in-Edhil. Celebrimbor and the Gwaith-i-Mírdain agree that seven of the rings should be gifted to the dwarven kings, as a token of thanks for their help in building Ost-in-Edhil. Celebrimbor, however, decides that the rings are too dangerous for Men. Annatar and Celebrimbor have a heated disagreement on this point, and Annatar accuses Celebrimbor of withholding the bliss of Aman from Middle-earth. Annatar absconds with the remaining nine rings. Sensing that he has been deceived, Celebrimbor crafts the Three in secret. He gives two to Gil-galad, and the remaining to Galadriel, and admits that he was wrong to doubt her.
Gil-galad. Minastir, the heir of Númenor, stays in the halls of Gil-galad as Aldarion once did. Minastir meets with the descendants of the Middle Men Adlarion befriended, though many more generations have passed for them than for Minastir. Aldarion’s travels are a tale that some believe to be myth. Gil-galad and Minastir travel the lands of Eriador and mediate the conflicts of Middle Men.
Elrond. Elrond travels to Númenor for the first time in several hundred years on order of High King Gil-galad to implore once more that the Númenóreans to prepare for war. Tar-Teleprian, the second Queen of Númenor, rules in Númenor now. When Elrond arrives and presents the request of Gil-galad, there is a conflict between supporters of Ancalimë’s policy of isolation and those who believe that they should heed Gil-galad, the latter being lead by the Lord of Andunië – Silmariën’s heir. When Elrond presents further evidence that the shadow of Morgoth has returned, Tar-Teleprian ultimately decides that Númenor must prepare for war.
Annatar. Annatar begins seducing the Kings of Men and gifting rings. Annatar arrives in the halls of a Gwaithirum king called Halmir, a descendant of one of the generals of the battle in the first saga. Annatar tells Halmir that the Noldor are withholding the power of prolonged life from mortals, and gifts him a ring. As Halmir is an elf-friend, his ancestors all being loyal to High King Gil-galad, he refuses Annatar’s suggestion. Eventually, Halmir succumbs to his curiosity and doubt and puts the ring on, entering the Realm of Shadows. He perceives immediately that his decay has been slowed, and indeed that the Noldor may have deceived him.

Saga 4 (Episode 10): Orodruin (1600)
Sauron crafts the One Ring in Orodruin, and Barad-dûr, the largest fortress ever built, has been completed. We Annatar standing on at the height of Barad-dûr wearing the One, below his vast legions of orcs.
As soon as the One Ring has been crafted, Galadriel, Celebrimbor, and the others realize they have been deceived and that Annatar was in fact Sauron, and they remove their rings.
The Men who received Rings of Power from Sauron realize too late they are deceived, as they are completely subservient now to the will of Sauron.

Chance coma boy for Cornell sha-hotel
Chance me for Cornell hotel admin-SHA
CHANCE ME FOR CORNELL SHA-Hotel
CHANCE COMA BOY WHO SAW HİMSELF GETTİNG CHASED İN TEXAS TO CORNELL SHA/HOTEL ADMİNİSTRATİON ED1
Demographics:FGLİ,African(Parents moved to Turkey then moved to US right before my junior year),very rural in Turkey(village with 1000 population,almost no one goes to college),semi-feeder public school in America, US RESİDENT(green card)
Went from rural village public school in Turkey for middle school to a private school in İstanbul(biggest city in Turkey) because the school was connected to a university and agreed to give me full ride and also university housing to my family. Was the only kid there that came from a public school(public schools are horrible in Turkey)
Gpa(UW/W):9th grade: 92.13(top 5 percent), 10th grade selective ib program:83.17(missed like 40 percent of the year due to car crash/coma) 11th: 4.0/4.85 Class rank 1/494
Coursework: No ap/ib offered in 9th grade, 6ib classes in 10th, 11 AP classes in 11th-12th(so total of 17ap+ib)
İB HL MATH A&A in 10th, AP PRECALC AND AB İN 12th
Sat: 1540(800 math, 740 eng)-They're test blind tho
Major:Hotel Admin
**ECS:*\*
İnterim CEO(10th grade): Ran/fully managed former uncle's now family-owned business/motel 42 hours a week. Really small motel tho,6 rooms. Did school work when nothing was happening.
Founder of financial/educational based organizaton(11th-12th):**Raised 14.5 thousand dollars/475 thousand lira for my former elementary school through collective funding/raising money. Money went to renovations/additions.
(2 ecs in 1)Founder of Nonprofit/Owner of small shoe-reselling business(9th-12)th: Ran shoe-reselling business and made 20k and 10k/325k lira of the money went to buying shoes with the money and distrubuted kids at my old village shoes.
İntern at Divan Taksim(Hotel) in turkey, going back summer after 11th
Real estate internship in summer of 10th
Political İntern with Mayor of Turkish City(Elazığ)(CHP)(10th summer)): networked through the time when İ was a lobbyist around a bunch of rich people(you'll see below) Noted that İ want to be the minister of culture and turism in Turkey
Associate to Turkish Volunteering Agency/leader at school(10th grade): Personally volunteered 200 hours for earthquake. Raised 3.8k usd/70k lira throughout my school and district for relief efforts in Southeast Turkey
Student lobbyist for school renovations(10th grade): Was selected to be the only student lobbyist for my school's multi-million Lira expansion to increase class sizes by around 25% with an additional side building and a new library. Mayors son went to my school so thats where the internship came from
Published a book(11th grade) : on outsiders view on hospitality and finance(20k words)
Family responsibilities(11th-12th)(wont go into detail but valid)
Awards:
3.12 percent on LGS-Standardized test that is the sole factor of high school admission. Best score my middle school has ever produced. Only kid that was in the top 10 percent coming out of my middle school since 1998.
TBB National Finance Competition: 2nd out of 10k+ in national Financial knowledge competition ran by Turkish banking association
10th grade research project qualified for Tubitak(Turkish research council: project was about Corona's effect on reading habits throughout Turkish students)
Takdir 9th grade(top 5 percent of freshmen)
4th in national school based swimming relay in 9th.(Was varsity/ A team swimming in 9th grade)
LOR:Ap lang , AP cogo
Additiional info
İnjuries from car crash(coma)- not a joke, got in car crash right before 10th. Was in a coma for 4 weeks and missed like 40 percent of the year from pt, rehab and surgeries.
İ had to delay taking preclac because İ moved here late so İ took precalc and ab senior instead of ab and bc.

My impacted wisdom tooth is located at the top, hidden in the deepest part of my teeth, and I just found out that it has a monster cavity. At first, I thought the pain was only due to another broken tooth that is close to it, so I didn't expect that the cavity in my impacted wisdom tooth was the one causing the pain. I hadn't experienced any problems with it for over 10 years, until yesterday when the pain awoke me from my sleep. Now, I don't know what to do. I have some very bad teeth, but I'm slowly starting to remove all of them. Just a little over a month ago, I had my bottom-left molars extracted, and managing the antibiotics along with my other medications was very difficult because I also have GERD and IBS as well as an anxiety disorder. The side effects from antibiotics caused terrible bouts of acid reflux. Additionally, it's worsening my anxiety even more because I'm completely broke, and I wouldn't be able to afford oral surgery. Wisdom tooth extraction apparently costs more than double the price of a regular extraction and I was just barely able to afford my molar extractions a month ago. I'm a NEET, and I live in a third-world country, and have been dealing with my health complications from GERD for almost 5 years which has caused me to become a shut in at this point. I guess I'm fucked. Big time.

My impacted wisdom tooth is located at the top, hidden in the deepest part of my teeth, and I just found out that it has a monster cavity. At first, I thought the pain was only due to another broken tooth that is close to it, so I didn't expect that the cavity in my impacted wisdom tooth was the one causing the pain. I hadn't experienced any problems with it for over 10 years, until yesterday when the pain awoke me from my sleep. Now, I don't know what to do. I have some very bad teeth, but I'm slowly starting to remove all of them. Just a little over a month ago, I had my bottom-left molars extracted, and managing the antibiotics along with my other medications was very difficult because I also have GERD and IBS as well as an anxiety disorder. The side effects from antibiotics caused terrible bouts of acid reflux. Additionally, it's worsening my anxiety even more because I'm completely broke, and I wouldn't be able to afford oral surgery. Wisdom tooth extraction apparently costs more than double the price of a regular extraction and I was just barely able to afford my molar extractions a month ago. I'm a NEET, and I live in a third-world country, and have been dealing with my health complications from GERD for almost 5 years which has caused me to become a shut in at this point. I guess I'm fucked. Big time.

I’m currently reading ‘Go Wild’ by the wonderful Dr. John Ratey: world leading neuroscientist and one of the academics whose work underpins my hypnotherapy practice.
A short section has truly rocked my thinking. He makes reference to a massive study called ‘The Global Burden of Disease’. It looks at the causes of debilitation and loss of quality of life at a global level – it covered 291 diseases in 187 countries around the world with results published in The Lancet.
The bit that has rocked my thinking is this: the extent to which each of us can take action in our own lives to avoid or alleviate most of the top twelve risk factors for debilitation worldwide – and how hypnotherapy can help. These factors are, in order:
· High blood pressure: regular hypnosis / self-hypnosis / deep relaxation can help reduce blood pressure in itself. Further, hypnotherapy routinely helps with smoking cessation, reducing alcohol consumption, reducing obesity and adopting healthy lifestyles: all of contribute to achieving a healthier blood pressure.
· Smoking: for those who have decided to become non-smokers, hypnotherapy is highly effective in supporting this positive step: often the most significant, single step, in improving life quality.
· Alcohol consumption: This normally takes a bit of unpacking with each individual: there is often a general correlation between working on becoming your best self and reductions in alcohol consumption.
· Household air pollution: even the most ardent advocate for hypnosis would struggle to find a link here. I suspect, because this was a global study, it is driven by the populations who have solid fuel fires within their dwelling – not really an issue for Europeans / Americans.
· Low fruit consumption: a relatively easy issue to resolve for most – implementing beneficial behavioural changes, which then become habits, is basic work for any hypnotherapist.
· Obesity: if only losing weight was a simple matter of calories in / calories out: eat less, move more – job done. That obesity is so prevalent demonstrates just how ineffective the ‘eat less / move more’ approach is. Hypnotherapy and wellbeing psychology take a broader approach: rather than focusing on losing weight, the focus is on living your chosen lifestyle and achieving your chosen physique.
· High blood sugar: there are similarities here with obesity. Achieving healthy blood sugar levels is a consequence of a healthy lifestyle with a focus on overall wellbeing.
· Ambient particulate matter: as with indoor air pollution, this is out of scope for hypnotherapy.
· Inactivity: the correlation between activity and wellbeing are so well established that there can really be no credible debate. Hypnotherapy and self-hypnosis are ideal in supporting making beneficial behavioural changes which, in turn, can shift people from being in a vicious cycle to a virtuous one of long-term, sustainable, personal development.
· High salt intake: one of the easier choices to make which coincides with the broader goal of living with increased wellbeing.
· Low seed and nut consumption: another straightforward behavioural change which can be supported by a range of hypnotherapy / self-hypnosis processes.

DISCLAIMER: YOU SHOULD NOT STOP LEXAPRO COLD TURKEY. TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR FIRST.
I started 10 mg of Lexapro back in June of 2023. I was working a really high stress job and it was causing me all sorts of problems with anxiety. I was "managing it" and by that I mean not doing anything about it and letting it destroy me mentally and physically lol. So my doc prescribed me Lexapro and I started it.
Lexapro REALLY REALLY helped. I stayed at 10mg the entire time I was on it. It made all my anxieties feel a lot smaller, and easier to manage. I can describe it as "taking the edge off" of my life. I didn't experience any weird side effects going onto it and I was fine on it for a long time.
So between about October of 2023 and now, I have experienced DRAMATIC and FAST weight gain. When I started Lex I was fluctuating around 140-150 pounds, and suddenly today I am 190 pounds. I have dark stretch marks on my arms near my armpits, on my belly, and really dark stretch marks on my thighs going all the way down PAST my knees that seem to have shown up over night and I’m starting to get them on my breasts and butt now too.
There weren't any other external factors that I believe caused my weight gain (except for the fact that I was obviously a little less active in the winter but nothing that caused me to gain 40 pounds that quickly).
I started to get extremely depressed about my body and the stretch marks. After talking to my doctor and doing my own research plus a blood test it seemed that my weight gain was likely related to the medication.
I decided on my own that I would quit cold turkey since I no longer worked at the stressful job, and wanted to see if I could get off it and see how it affected my weight and also if I still even needed it since a lot of the anxiety was removed from my life. (YES, THIS IS STUPID, DO NOT DO THIS) but I wanted to share my experience. I decided to log daily about what I noticed after quitting cold turkey on May 1st.
Day 1: - felt completely normal
Day 2: - Had weird euphoric feelings? Mania maybe? - Weird nightmares - No physical symptoms
Day 3: - felt slightly nauseous - weird dreams
Day 4: - I thought I was having vertigo but now I think it was brain zaps - about a 3/10 on the "nausea" scale that would come and go - weird dreams
Day 5: - felt pretty normal this day except for weird dreams
Day 6: - lasting dull headache (could be unrelated) - 3/10 nausea on and off - dizziness - brain zaps - appetite changes (I felt hungry but the thought of food made me nauseous) - felt kind of like I had the flu - night sweats - weirdly enough I've been sleeping BETTER I've noticed since coming off it despite the nightmares
Day 7: - No negative emotional changes noticed thus far, I kind of actually feel a bit better? Like I can feel my emotions more? - headache - nausea - night sweats - nightmares
Day 8: - Slept really good again minus being super sweaty and having nightmares (the quality of my sleep felt really restful when I woke up) - This was the first day I noticed a bit of creeping depression for seemingly no reason - brain zaps - dizziness - nausea - headache
Day 9: - nausea - dizziness - brain zaps - irritability (but my period will also be starting in about a week or so which could be a factor here)
Day 10: - Another restful sleep - brain zaps - dizziness
Day 11: - felt really depressed today, first time in a long time and can't really place why. - nausea - fatigue - dizziness - brain zaps
Day 12 to now have all been pretty much the same with: - fatigue - night sweats - dizziness - slight nausea - the brain zaps are REALLY starting to get to me.
Personal Takeaways: - Talk to your doctor and TAPER OFF. I'm sure the nausea/dizziness and brain zaps would be a lot better if I would have done so. - As someone recovering from an eating disorder as well, gaining a little weight should not be the sole reason you go off your medication if it is helping you. Really think about what is important!! If I was still working that stressful job I would NOT have done this because I truly needed it at the time. I am working a much less stressful job now so I figured I could see if I even still needed it or not. - There has been no change in my weight yet, it's only been 2 weeks. I am not expecting the weight to just fall off or anything. If I happen to lose a notable amount of weight I will come back with an update.

Hi, I’m F21 for context— Are any of you capable of making/keeping friends? I only have one person I consider a friend, we’ve been friends since middle school. We are still close but don’t see each other often due to adult things haha. I suppose recently I’ve been extremely lonely. I have a better time talking with people online cause I love that I can hide behind a screen. However it seems easier to talk to men but eventually they want something romantic/sexual or they do something to piss me off. I find myself to get along with females better, rarely am I ever annoyed with them. I sit by some girls at work and they are extremely sweet with me however we don’t have anything in common. I’m just starting university again however, I’m online as going in person freaks me out. I had one in person class this year but I couldn’t even survive a day. I also struggle with finding most people I meet very odd, like there is something off putting about them, I don’t feel they are genuine or trustworthy. But then I feel a lot of people find me to be a weird loser at the same time. Sorry for my ramble, I’m just curious about your experiences.