I thought I’d write my(23F, no kids & not married) experience getting sterilized for anyone on the fence about it or anyone who has their procedure soon! I found my doctor on the child free wiki.
I had my annual exam on February 13th. At the end of my appointment I asked if we can discuss sterilization. He was open to the conversation and I came prepared with a list of reasons. He said he’d do it if I got a letter from my therapist saying I understand it’s a permanent procedure. I signed the consent form the same day & my therapist emailed the letter on March 7th.
About a month later I received a call to schedule my appointment. They wanted to do it asap, 2 weeks from that phone call but I had plans so I opted to do it at a later date. I went to my PCP for bloodwork 2 weeks prior to my procedure.
My procedure was scheduled for May 6th at 7:30am. I was admitted into the hospital at 5:45am. I filled out the paperwork, changed into a gown, wiped myself head to toe with a body disinfectant wipe. Nurse came to take my vitals, anesthesiologist gave me a patch to help with nausea then I just laid down for a bit. I remember putting my phone away at 7:20am & they rolled me back into the operating room. They told me to move to the operating table and that’s all I remember!
I woke up and the nurse told me to take my time but get dressed because my fiance was waiting for me. I laid down for 5 minutes because I was nauseous. Then I got dressed and they pushed me in the wheelchair to the car. My paperwork says I was discharged at 9:40am. I did sleep on and off for the first day because the anesthesia stays in your system for 24 hours. I was given 800mg ibuprofen and oxycodone. I’m not in much pain at all- just a sore throat from the breathing tube and menstrual like cramps which I imagine is from the gas they put in the abdomen. I’m off work for 2 weeks so I’m taking it easy but I feel great overall. I’d be happy to answer questions!

So, I have anxiety and depression and other issues, and IMO Kratom is the best anti-anxiety aid and anti-depressant I've ever taken in my life, and it's not even close. I usually try to use it sparingly enough not to get dependent, but lately I've been overdoing it a lot. Usually my WD when it happens only lasts 3 days, and they may be sucky with hypersomnia/oversleeping and/or some insomnia with sleep disturbances, depression, runny nose, and sometimes some RLS and a bit of shivering/cold sensitivity. I am starting to use more now because I realize I might have to quit drinking due to side effects, and that's REALLY depressing me, and I just don't like my life, and Kratom helps me SOO much. But I was on bluelight (a good drug forum) and a moderator is telling me that kratom use WILL catch up to me if I keep using it, so I want to hear from anyone here who uses Kratom at least 4 days a week, every week, if not more, and has been doing this for at least 3 years, if not more, and who has overall had POSITIVE experiences, especially when it comes to treating problems like mine.
Here is what this moderator said about Kratom and how he thinks it will catch up with me. I will include parts of the conversation where I asked questions and outline which text is him and which is me, and I want to know if people on here agree with him, either partially or fully, on the way things usually go with Kratom addiction:
ME:Is a kratom habit REALLY that bad? I mean, taking 3-6 grams per day (other than the 2 days I took extracts) is pretty mild right?
HIM: that is a solid kratom habit. == to about 15mg hydrocodone a day. if you take 5ish grams a day, you WILL get a physical habit/withdrawals. is kratom really that bad? dunno, are opioid habits bad in your mind? it's life changing, that is for sure. and especially as you deal with anxiety and all this other shit/benzo habit/booze adding another addiction is not the way i would go in that situation. plus, the magic of kratom leaves when you take it all the time, then you are just getting well.
ME: Cause for me, I've never had Kratom WD last longer than 3 days, so it will suck for those 3 days sometimes, but then it's over. Do you think it could get to the point where my withdrawal would last MORE than 3 days, or do you think it could just get worse within those 3 days? Does it sound like I have something to be worried about as far as my usage is concerned?
HIM: absolutely it does. you are falling into the common fallacy of early opioid dependence - it seems to treat everything wrong with you, and doesn't seem "so bad" coming off. that is the beginning of the spiral (think of it like water on a big drain) those first rotations are slow, and doesn't even seem like anything is happening except maybe stuff sucks a little more not on them, or a couple days feeling bad - that's not so bad right! maybe im immune to this "bad opioid wd thing!" <--- says literally everyone initiating an opioid habit. the truth is, it takes time and repeat exposure to downregulate the mu receptors, and each kick gets worse/more severe symptoms than the last.
ME: I mean, Kratom isn't the same as oxycodone or hydrocodone really. Would you consider it a TRUE opioid addiction in the same way? Like, a plain leaf Kratom addiction (I know i have to stop with the extracts) be bad on that same level as a true pain-pill addiction?
HIM: I dislike kratom withdrawal MORE than oxycodone or hydrocodone withdrawal because it includes SSRI like wd issues and makes sleep, anxiety and energy absolutely awful - and severe kratom wd lasts like 2 weeks instead of a few days of acute and another week of weirdness like a normal opioid. Be careful with it, it's not just a simple/natural compound. it's a proper opioid and should be regarded as such. if you wouldn't take hydrocodone w the same regularity, you shouldn't take kratom thinking it's better.
I really don't want to believe him, but I know he's being honest (at least for him and other people he knows). So, any opinions on this conversation and my questions would be great.

I never considered myself an addict. Ever. I always viewed addicts as people who could not stay away from hardcore drugs, like coke or heroin or things like that. I’ve held jobs. I don’t buy off the street. So I never really thought about it that way. I don’t have a specific thing, I’m an addict to the entire family of downers, even OTC things or things you wouldn’t typically think of when you think “drug addiction”. I have recently realized this over the weekend after some sobering conversations with friends.
My daily intake includes any combination of the following:

• Klonopin
• Xanax
• Benadryl
• Tramadol
• oxycodone
• Alcohol
• Unisom
• Tizanadine
• Robaxin
• Melatonin
• Magnesium
• Sudafed
• Gabapentin

I don’t know what it is. I feel wired if I’m not on any of these. My anxiety hits an all time high every day, it’s like it’s trying to top itself. I do have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and a chronic pain condition from a car accident, so these help with those. I realized it on Friday that I may have a problem. I woke up (from a melatonin induced sleep), immediatley took tramadol, and when that wore off I switched to benadryl. Fell asleep. woke up in a panic, two xans down. Repeat every day with a different combo of above.
I feel like I wouldn’t be able to be taken seriously at a rehab or NA, since half of these are over the counter meds that you can’t really be addicted to. I’m less addicted to the pills themselves, but the feeling of being relaxed that it gives me. I like sleeping all day. Probably have depression. I get drug tested for work but none of these pop, and I have rxs for everything else. But I think if I went somewhere I may lose my job.
Don’t want to be laughed out of an NA meeting where these people have serious rock bottom addictions but I do need help and I don’t know what to do

Before I start I'd like to apologize for any spelling error I might have, english isn't my first language. And also if this post feels too corny. What I aim for is to see if people here had a similar feeling as I did, which is something I can partially confirm as I've had several conversations with fans and the general consensus is that find relatable my experience.
To begin with, I would like to provide some context as to when I first saw the series. The first time I saw the series was two years ago, when I was 14 years old. At the time I was really depressed as a consequence of a low self-esteem and some circumstances regarding my family (which I won't get into). My coping mechanism at the time was spending most of the time at home and the times I went out was to get drunk and occasionally use some drugs like oxycodone and xanax. Not a great time, as one can tell.
One of those days when I was at home I decided to watch some animes for the first time, as I wasn't very knowledgeable about the medium and I felt ready to try something new. Most of the animes I watched didn't leave me a very big impression, they were just like fast food, not very bad but not great. However, after browsing around for a while I came across Re:Zero, which I had some knowledge of because I recognized Rem and Ram. I gave it a try expecting another totally unremarkable series made popular by some cute waifus. But oh boy was I wrong, it was something I didn't expect.
The first times were it really shined for me was in the episodes 7, 15 and 18 of season 1. For some reason they left a very big impression, not only were they telling an interesting story but I could feel the passion that the producers poured into the series which range from the very minor details to things like the voice acting and music (the last one being something I'll delve into later). Dialogues are something in which Re:Zero does not falter either, although some of them (especially the one in ep 11 with rem) felt cheesy. But this does not include episode 18, which has the best description I've ever of how desperation and the feeling of being secluded takes a toll on a person. It resonated with me to the very core of my being, being extremely accurate as to what I was feeling at the moment. So accurate in fact that it even got right my feeling of wanting of disapppear, on top of that with reasons quite similar to the ones I was suffering at the time (especially that of feeling useless and inadequate for the people around me). For some people this scene also plays a similar role.
The rest of the episodes (including season 2) also had some very similar moments, but I wanted to specially highlight that scene as it's the one that cemented my love for the series.
The music also plays a HUGE role overall, it describes the full range of emotions in a perfect way. From pure unadulterated happiness, epic moments, fight scenes, desperation, loneliness and uncaniness; it does its job perfectly. For me the most important are looking for the light and fantasy lied. The first one describes a moderate feeling of sadness, like something very impactful but managable at first, where as we get to the end of the song it comes clean about its feelings and relaxes. However Fantasy lied is the pure definition of loneliness, as if someone was looking at the sunset for the last time and reliving his experiences at life, coupled with a feeling of melancholy.
That's for the most part what I wanted to express, I hope I'm too overbearing or annoying. For people reading this I would like to know your experiences with the series.
PD: I promise I usually write better in english, but for some reason I find difficult when writing things to public forums. I know the format isn't very good.
Edit 1: Just a small clarification so I don't give the impression of being a meathead or other wrong vibes. At the time I used substances my family wasn't in shambles (but also not that good) and if they noticed there was something wrong with me they've have helped, but I did a good deal to conceal any of my problems. While my grades suffered a little bit I was performing well at school without doing much.

Just over a week ago, my dad gave me the news that he went in for a CT scan due to severe pain in his lower chest/abdominal region caused by a mass on his pancreas and it has metastasized to the liver. The mass is blocking his bile duct causing obstructive jaundice. A stent is not an option right now due to the size and location of the cancer. We called and told the cancer center here that he was quite yellow so they scheduled him for an emergency chemo session. He was coherent, albeit weak and in pain prior to the visit.
He went in for that chemo session on Friday (19 April), and since he got home that day, he’s been sleeping. Occasionally, we’ll get him up to drink some water or if he needs to use the restroom. He has also been somewhat incoherent when he does wake, but at times you can tell he’s frustrated that his motor control isn’t good now. He took oxycodone up until his chemo session, and I’m just curious how much of this is caused by the effects of cancejaundice, painkillers, chemo, or any combination of those. Any time I ask if he’s in pain he says, in a very slurred manner, “No, I’m alright.” He’s also talking a ton in his sleep, having full conversations with whomever he’s speaking to in his dreams. When we try to wake him now, it’s almost impossible to determine whether he’s lucid or just responding to what he believes are interactions within a dream.
Aside from trying to feed him high calorie foods so he doesn’t wither away, what else can I expect? Has anyone experienced this behavior with someone who has similar issues? Apologies for the chaotic post. My mind’s been everywhere between trying to help the rest of the family cope with my dad’s awful endeavor, as well as trying to fix so many things around their house to prevent my mom from becoming overwhelmed with everything. I just want him to get better, or more importantly be pain-free, so if there’s any I can do during this time, even if it’s just having patience and trusting in the chemo process, I’ll do it.
Ultimately, while I want, with all my heart, for this to be a normal part of chemo, in the back of my mind I wonder if this could be end stage. :( His condition has deteriorated so rapidly… the night before his chemo session, we were watching Fallout and eating a bit of dinner, conversing as normal.
Thanks in advance!

Hey all, I currently just turned 24 in March and I have been on In-center HD since middle of September last year (2023). I am going to a In-Center Davita Center 3 times a week 3 1/2hrs as standard. My story on how im on dialysis started out last September when I found out I had stage 5 End Stage Kidney failure. I had symptoms on going for at least 2 1/2 years (maybe plus) prior to finding out but I never knew it was kidney failure. It all started with me having a cough in the morning after waking up that would educe vomiting. It eventually went into just vomiting without cough. But I would be fine for 30mins roughly after first waking up then vomit, I would basiclly vomit clear liquid and it was like I didnt throw up any solids most of the time. It was on going for a solid 2 1/2 years. I also was tired alot but I thought that was normal part of life. Also during the 4? months prior to finding out my feet felt kinda tingly like neuropathy type feeling. ( I no longer have that feeling). I also was anemic like when doing more heavier activities or just sometimes walking up a flight of steps are walking a bit before I felt like I had to catch my breath but I thought that was just because I was out of shape as I never really exercised. Also I had a decrease in appetite since I was always vomiting. I lost roughly 50-70 lbs from January 2023 to September 2023. I first tried figuring out why I was feeling so Ill in January of 2023 and I believe I seen either a Nurse Practitioner or a PA. I told them I was throwing up EVERY morning and they said ohhhh "you just have GERD (Acid Reflux)" I told them it didn't matter what I ate it would happen anyways... They did not do a blood tests or anything. They just told me to take OTC meds for acid reflux which I did try and took Famotidine. It somewhat helped sometimes and then it didn't do anything even when taking two pills each night before bed. I then procrastinated on going in as I didn't want to spend more $$$ on medical bills than I have too even with pretty decent health insurance. I then had another symptom like 3 times during the summer of 23. I would randomly be standing for a while or walking and all of a sudden feel dizzy and my vision go white out,blury,and almost like black and white vision. I would have to sit down for a while and it would go away. I then in September of 23' went and seen a MD this time and she was like "theres too much going on, we need more information" so she ordered blood tests, stool and urine sample. I go do the blood tests and then go home to do the urine and stool sample but as I got home I got a phone call from the lab. The lab said "you need to go to the ER". "your Hemoglobin is 4.5 and your Creatinine is 24!" I went to the ER and got blood transfusions (I had 3? in total). Prior to finding out about my kidney failure I have never had any health issues. Then the ER sent me to a different hospital as they didnt have really any kidney failure specialists at that hospital. I go to the other hospital and they do tests and find out that I only have one visible kidney and that it has a lot of scar tissue shown on the ultrasound. They did tests to see what caused it to fail like immune-disease test but all showed nothing. I did not know I only had one kidney prior to all of this. They believe that my kidney was failing over a long period of time due to the amount of scar tissue. I was contemplating in the hospital of whether or not of pulling the plug on life or to do dialysis as that's the only option. I choose the dialysis option after being persuaded and counselled by family and friends and staff at the hospital. I then got a CVC put in me and now am on dialysis 3 times a week 3 1/2 hrs. I was doing fine in my in-center dialysis until January 2024 when I was getting unhooked and still had one line hooked up incase they had to give fluid back when BP's tank. Well I was getting unhooked and stood for my final standing blood pressure and was fine for about 20-30 seconds as the BP cuff was squeezing and then all of a sudden I felt blood rush to my legs and felt sweaty all over but wasn't actually sweating and also my vision went white out blurry like back in the summer of 23' like what ive experienced before. I thought I was ok but I legit just blinked and passed out and feel straight to the floor. I ripped my CVC clean right out (luckily the whole thing). I didnt feel it at all also since I was unconscious when it happened. I then got ambulanced to the hospital and had to spend the night and get a new CVC put in the next day which was saturday. After that excitement everything was going good until March of this year 24'. I woke up on a Tuesday and felt ill like flu/common cough cold symptoms. I had a dr appointment for a follow up of my echogram for kidney transplant work up through the U of Minnesota (im from MN). Im still yet to do my heart stress test and should be on the list as long as no other complications. Anyways Tuesday after the dr appoint. I ended up throwing up and through the night and next morning. I had Dialysis the next day Wednesday and didn't want to go to it as I was feeling like crap. But I told myself I better at least try and get some of it done at least if not all. I ended up going and during dialysis I was just shaking the WHOLE time. I was near the end of my run with 30-20?mins left and I was starting to have problems with my machine like TMP was low problems. The dialysis RN nurse took my temp and it was 105.7F! She told me I need to go to the ER after the run. I said ok. I got unhooked 20 mins early as we deemed it was ok in this situation. My mother came to pick me up and took me to the ER. I got admitted with sepsis but they were trying to figure out what caused it. I also wanted them to figure out a lump in my man area that I noticed growing since January but ive was procrastinating on it as I didnt want another medical expense. They did tests for both that and the sepsis. At first they though I had a UTI but then found out it wasnt. I had dialysis on Friday and when they took the gauze bandage off they noticed yellow puss/drainage at my CVC site. Then they did a culture and ruled out that was causing the sepsis. They did dialysis and then pulled the CVC out right after. They also did blood tests and ultrasound and CT scan of my groin area for the mass growth. They found out it was cancerous. I had testicular cancer. It was the size of a lemon they said. Luckily they believe I caught it early as it had not yet spread to my lymph nodes from the CT scan prior of removal. On Saturday they removed the cancerous testicular mass. I was in a 4.5 pain after the surgery. I could have taken Oxycodone if I needed it but I didnt take any pain killers, not even aspirin. The most of my pain was from a burning sensation from the underwear thing I had to wear as it was WAY too small for me and was digging into my waist/skin. and they didnt have a bigger size at all in stock at the hospital? Idk how tf not... the sensation only occured when trying to move around in bed or trying to get in and out of bed. walking I was fine and standing sitting it was fine. It was closer to a 2.5ish? during those times. but when it burned it felt like a 20/10. I then got a new CVC placed for the third time... on Either Sunday or Monday? I can't remember... Then Monday I had dialysis in the hospital and got discharged right after. During the hospital stay I received antibiotics and probiotic. Also they gave me a TON of fluids... I was a little upset that they basiclly didn't take any fluid off during my two dialysis treatments in the hospital... I think I had 8.5KG of fluid added to me during the hospital... I am still working on trying to get rid of it.... Anyways I got out Monday night and went home with Antibiotic pills. Tuesday I was fine until around 11pm at night when I was sleeping. I woke up and felt my shirt feeling drenched like I was sweating. I then though.. that's WAAAAY too wet to be sweat. I then felt near my neck and then felt sliminess on my hand. I then got out of bed and went to the bathroom and turned on the light to find out my shirt just DRENCHED in blood from my CVC site actively bleeding. I yelled for my mom to come help. She woke up and then helped clean the blood around the site and helped me change my shirt and get some gauze to hold pressure on the site to stop bleeding. (Thankful my mom is a RN of nearly 30 years). She then drove me to the ER and we get to the ER and they site stopped bleeding. They were going to give me a novacaine shot to help stop bleeding but ended up not needing it as it stopped on its own. They changed the dressing which was a tegaderm and bio-patch dressing. then they sent me home. It was my 24th birthday by then when I got home around 12am-1am... I am now currently at my Davita center having them use the tegaderm and bio-patch dressing with myself supplying that as all Davita has for CVC dressing is just gauze and tape.... Yet they state about how its high risk of infection but dont have proper dressings for them.... All the staff there agree that its stupid to just use gauze but its out of their control. I had to get protocol from my Nephrologist to be able to use the tegaderm and bio-patch and he approved for weekly change. Luckily my mom is a home RN and she had been able to jack some tegaderm from work and bio-patches but we are trying to get a medical supply company that we can buy from going through insurance and have insurance cover it. think found one and had my Nephrologist send a referral over... Also after the hospital visit they had me on oral antibiotics on my off diaylsis days and then got IV antibiotics put in my dialysis lines at the last 20-30? mins of treatment. Last friday was my last day of the IV antibiotics. Also I had a follow visit with the surgeon who did the cancer removal and she was a urologist also. She said she believes she got all of the cancer removed. based on blood tests and that it didnt spread to my lymph nodes prior to removal. Also that she was putting in the referral for me to transfer my case to the U of Minnesota cancer specialists since I was getting my transplant work up there. Im yet to hear from them. She did warn me that they may require me to do one round of chemo due to transplantation to make sure its all gone. Since the hospital visit I have been doing as good as I can in my condition. My symptoms of dialysis are pretty typical of the fatigue after treatment. I get done at 4:15-4:30ish pm currently and am tired a little at first but worsens as the night progresses. Once I have my nights rest the next day I dont feel fatigued as I did after dialysis but still fatigued. I also have had the feeling after dialysis where I felt like I was drunk like cognitively. Like spacing out type drunk. I haven't felt that for a while now though. Once when they took 3.5-3.8? off of me for fluids recently since my last hospital visit. I then had a good drop in BP but not (low) was still in normal range when finished with it and the dialysis tech noticed my face turn pale after sitting down from standing BP and trying to get the energy to stand up after getting unhooked. I had to get some fluid back. I have noticed my physical strength has gone down since dialysis. Before finding out of ESRD at my last job I use to periodically deadlift 125 lb bare engine blocks from the floor to a table that was waist height. as I worked at a engine remanufacturer shop. I forsure don't believe I have the strength to do that currently. Since I started dialysis I have no longer thrown up besides when I had sepsis recently. Also don't have that tingly feeling and coldness in my feet. My skin is sometimes super itchy all over. but other than that and sometimes low BP after treatment I have not had any other symptoms. I did witness a guy have a seizure after treatment which was his first time he ever had a seizure in his life. He got checked out and came back to the treatment center and said he was ok. having seizures can be symptom of dialysis for some, yet its rare. Also in my In-Center Dialysis center there use to be one of my childhood friends I use to hang out with that ALSO was in for end-stage renal failure. He is the same HS graduating class as me and the same age! It was a surprise to see him in there. He recently got a transplant back around Christmas/New Years. His surgery went great. Hope he has no complications for the next 20+ years. All my staff at the Davita center have been WONDERFUL. they make it a very tolerating experience and all joke with us patients and jokingly give us crap sometimes. Like "I love torturing you". Jokingly. Id say so far all the other neighbor patients in my dialysis center have been tolerable also. they all respect each other and keep pretty quiet. 98% of the time we all keep to ourselves. My mom even said takes care of someone in my center in their home as my moms a Home health RN Case manager. She cant tell me who due to HIPPA. But I have a feeling I know who.
Now on to the Rant/worries part
One thing that I have been dealing with since I found out of my disease is whether or not to continue the fight being i'm so young. I am fearful of getting a transplant due to all the possiable complications from surgery like infections. Also the anti-rejection meds causing cancer and having possibility of getting lymphoma cancer and risk of skin cancer. Also that my new kidney can reject at ANYtime with meds. Also I know that I would need a second transplant when I get into my 50s-60s If my new kidney so luckily lasted that long with no complications. I really strongly dont want to get a first transplant why would I want a second? Also I just dont want my body getting all cut open... But that is our only option for the freedom from dialysis. Our only choices are dialysis, transplant, or death. Right now I feel more on the staying on dialysis as long as my body can live. I have a CVC cath and they are really urging me to get a graft/fistula but I am avoiding it because of having to get stabbed with needles every treatment and having basiclly 2 ivs in me. I hate needles and IVs. So thats why I haven't gotten one yet. Also my mom telling me my arms will have a scar tissue from them. I have been contemplating nocturnal PD dialysis as I can have access to it. But my only problem is that is I live in a apartment with my parents and I would have no room to set the equipment up and to store the supplies. even if they split it up in 2 weeks shipments. I also currently have a summer seasonal job where sometimes I may have to work until 11pm at night and not get home until 11:30pm or later. And then wake up the next morning at 6am to go to work at 7-7:30am for a morning shift... I am just stuck with decisions and deep thought that makes me feel depressed even more than I already am. I Also worry about my finances deeply and that I don't want to be a burden to my family and a burden to my family financially if I were to ever pass. Also I think about having some type of will or something incase I pass away. I worry about my belongings after my death. Like I own two collector vehicles' and want them to go to certain people, also have a classic boat and want it to go to a certain person. Also the money in the bank to go to a certain person. All of that just consumes me every day. I am also going to college part time at a tech school. I have even contemplated about dropping out as is it even worth my time still going to college? Or atleast drop out until I resolve this health issue. So far I have not had to take any loans out for college and have paying as I go and also co-share a inheritance house with my brother that I have to help pay bills on. So far I have been financially stable but my bank is dwindling as I didn't claim unemployment over the winter as I thought I would had a found a winter job and didn't want to mooch of the system. I also feel like is it worth fighting for as I have no real meaning so far in life. I dont have any college education, I dont have a wife and kids yet like people my age already, let alone a girlfriend. The economy is in the absolute tank and doesn't look like it will EVER get better no matter who is president or in charge in politics. So its like what is the purpose of continuing besides being there for family and friends. I have talked to my social worker at Davita but not fully how I feel. She recommends antidepressants or therapy but I'm not going to seek help as its expensive and I have previous experience with both when I was younger around 7 years old when my grandfather passed. Both did not help me. I even seen three different counselors. It just took time for my depression to go away 95%. I was never suicidal like I never actually planned on actually killing myself or have actively tried going through with a plan. And currently am not suicidal, just depressed and feel hopeless. Also feel alone. even though I have a TON of support from family and friends that one could not imagine. Also I feel like not fighting and suffering like what my grandmother went through when she passed away. She had stage 4 Peripheral T-Cell lymphoma. She decided to do chemo and one round of chemo she went down hill. She was on a ventilator and basiclly her body started shutting down. She was going through that for two weeks suffering at least before she died. She was unable to talk to us and was almost in a vegetated state. she was able to tell us she was done fighting and to pull the ventilator. It was extremely painful to watch. My mother,brother,and I all spent the entire time in the hospital with her with her final weeks. We were with her by her bedside when she passed. To me one way or a another death is inevitable, no matter what takes you out. I believe god will call you to his kingdom when he calls for you and you have to be ready. I feel like besides getting my personal belongings to the people after my death I am otherwise ready for when he calls. I have been questioning since I found out of my ESRD that is this god calling for me? also when I got my cancer diagnosis. I question is god calling for me? Or is god punishing me?
Also Another rant is that I like my dialysis center but I feel like they are in violation of HIPPA as there is no barrier between us patients in chairs. Its just one big open room with like 13? chairs. No curtains or anything. So when the social worker, Nephrologist, dietitian come talk to you, your neighbors can hear in on your conversation with them. There is NO privacy. Also that Davita only uses gauze and tape for a bandage on CVC ports... That have risk of infection that the infection can EASILY get to the heart. I have already had sepsis due to it. Luckily it didnt get to the heart yet. where as tegaderm and biopatch is more effective on prevention of infection. Even my Nephrologist and the techs and nurse and even my RN mom ALL! agree that it is the best prevention in a bandage.
Life is just NOT fair to people. I really contemplate on the fight, I know I can have it MUCH worse than what I currently have and Im acting like "Bitch" but at the same time I feel like im going through alot of mental stress and mental worry that really impeades me ability to make decisions on my health. Lately I have not been following the renal diet fully, I believe I have gone overboard on somethings but I try to keep my diet in moderation in things. You have to live your life a little. We don't know how long we truly have wether in our control or not. Why live your life in fear for your saftey. Like the saying " Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! " I also haven't been taking my binders but out of just not wanting to take pills not out of "suicidal". My levels besides my sodium and calcium have been elevated. and of course the dietitian questions me and almost feels like judges me.
Overall kidney failure sucks and I dont wish this on anyone. I know it could be alot worse but its still bad enough as is and you really don't have a life whether your young or your old. Also that getting a kidney transplant is NOT A CURE!! There is "NO CURE" for end-stage renal failure. even with a new kidney to me you are still terminally ill. All you really are doing is buying time. Death is inevitable. I question why we fight it. When we are well off people have a sense of purpose and dreams and ambitions. But when you get a disease like kidney failure or such all of that seems to dwindle for some.
I pray for those who are suffering with me and those who have suffered and people suffering with other diseases and ect that there comes a time where they no longer suffer and can find peace.

Over the last ~3 years our area has been having an issue with a known pill mill provider, we will call Mr. Frank. Mr. Frank is a Nurse Practitioner (with a degree from the online for-profit university) who has a felony conviction for 3rd degree assault that was plead down from child abuse charge in which he nearly killed his four month old daughter. Here's a lovely excerpt the judge wrote in his subsequent divorce proceedings:
See the [REDACTED] Complaint, which provides that the treating physician’s medical assessment concluded that the reported fall did not account for severity of the child’s injury, which resulted in a subdural hematoma and cerebral edema which required the child to undergo a craniotomy.
Since his conviction, no reasonable employer will hire him- as a result he was forced to start his own practice where he began charging $400 cash for oxycodone prescriptions, for which I still have a picture of from his website before he changed it. Mr. Frank began to try and bully us in Feb 2022 after my manager and I refused to fill a prescription of oxycodone 15mg for one of his "patients". He called back and asked to speak to another manager, and then faxed us some bogus liability workup that he clearly has sent to other pharmacies before us. I began to do research and learned all of the above, as well as his surescripts eprescribing had sent prescriptions for promethazine syrup (no codeine) and sildeanfil (viagra) for fictitious patients. About this same time, surescripts sent out an email stating they inactivated his SPI to investigate suspicious or fraudulent activity. (He would later state that he requested this himself as his account was hacked). I partially believe this, but it was probably done by his employee or a patient as I'm pretty sure all Electronically prescribed controlled substances (ECPS) software suites require 2 factor authentication. I talked to other pharmacists in the area and concluded that we all felt the same way that this operation was suspicious at the least, and most likely illegal. We found other reasons based on old opiate prescribing guidelines from 2018 to refuse to dispense (based on him giving everyone more than 50mMeq daily). Those guidelines were revamped shortly after I was sued in 2022 and that particular part is no longer relevant. Another nearby pharmacist also stated Mr. Frank was having a personal bodyguard pick up prescriptions for his 'patients'. I also discovered that a person who had a prior conviction for obtaining a controlled substance by fraud or deceit and attempted to pass a fake prescription for a different provider two years earlier at our pharmacy was getting oxycodone from him- (fun fact, he was confronted about this 'patient' and still is seeing them).
​
In March 2022 he sent another prescription for oxycodone for a different patient that we refused to dispense for the same reasons as before. On about March 9 or 10, he called to bully us into filling it, and I confronted him that I didn't feel comfortable dispensing oxycodone for a cash only clinic. He started saying I was making false accusations about his practice. Getting upset about being repeatedly called a liar, I told him we knew that he was a pill mill, and that he is a felon, and asked if he informed the board of that as is required. He responded with "yes I've been through this with them; I've reported dozens of pharmacists like you to the board of pharmacy-" "...well I reported you to the DEA, the Board of Nursing, and the local police department, hopefully it goes better for you than it did for this other pill mill provider or your child abuse charges". He responded with "Don't you ever fucking talk about me or my kid[s] again". I said "Did you just threaten me? I think we're done here" and hung up. I immediately notified my pharmacy manager (who was on the same page as I was) and my pharmacy supervisor. I was as transparent as possible with the whole series of events. He filed corporate complaints against me with [FORMER EMPLOYER] and with the board of pharmacy. When he requested a call back from the supervisor, Chris (pharmacist supervisor) stated he was threatening to sue us for defamation, but to not worry about it and just let my manager handle him in the future. By this point my manager and I had to speak with a BOP investigator, who said they were more than familiar with Mr. Frank and other pharmacists were dealing with similar issues. I had communicated with an assistant general counsel for [FORMER EMPLOYER] about my statement for the board of pharmacy, and the events as I recalled them (late March/ early April). at 6pm on Thursday, April 14th, 2022 my wife was served a summons and complaint at our home that I was being sued by Mr. Frank for defamation and tortious interference. I notified my supervisor immediately, and faxed the summons and complaint to the company's assistant general counsel as I was subsequently instructed. I told them I had intended to use the company counsel to tender my defense and that they would reach out to me. In a text message exchange with my brother, who is a patent attorney, he suggested I not use the company's counsel because they would throw me under the bus if it was convenient for them. I did not listen. On Tuesday, after my shift had ended I was walked back to the store director's office, sat in front of an HR supervisor I've never met, the director, Chris. They asked what I said to Mr. Frank was accurate from the complaint i submitted to the board of nursing. I said it was, then I was told "we have to part ways, at least for now..." and terminated. TWO BUSINESS DAYS after I was served.
The summons and complaint were full of incredible inaccuracies, grammatical errors, spelling errors, and lies. Plaintiff stated he was not a felon, and that I was defaming him by telling other pharmacists that he was. IT IS CLEARLY EVIDENT FROM THE PUBLICLY AVAILABLE DATABASES HE PLEAD GUILTY TO A FELONY CHARGE. I found a private attorney who specializes in litigation who is well qualified and trust to the tune of $350/hr, which is actually a good rate for his level of experience and below average rate in this market. I applied for unemployment and went on a job hunting spree. I ended up 6 weeks later signing with [Big Chain Pharmacy] for a large signing bonus to fill my 'Warchest' after not being able to find any offers outside of retail pharmacy. My unemployment was contested by [FORMER EMPLOYER], and later declined by a judge when I appealed it. The store director argued he was the only one with the power to terminate me and he was uninformed of my conversation with Mr. Frank. Had I been better prepared, I believe I would have won as I believe his claim to be a flagrant lie: any time someone makes a corporate complaint it goes straight to the store director's email inbox.
Back at my new job, I spoke with other pharmacists in the company and relayed my experience and many were familiar with Mr. Frank. Apparently he went into a store to harass pharmacy staff for refusing to fill his prescriptions. After coordinating with a few others, we submitted a request to have a narcotic prescriber block against him within the company. After 2 weeks, we were notified that he would no longer be able to have controlled substance prescriptions dispensed by our company. A 60 day grace period would be given and mail would be sent to him and his 'patients' so they could make other arrangements. In the fall, I was interviewed over zoom with the state AG office with respect to my complaint, and after being in contact with a few local DEA Drug Diversion Task Force agents. The DEA agents stated their supervisor has a mantra of not taking action against providers/professionals until after their respective board hands down disciplinary action. A little later, I was notified the Board of Pharmacy complaint filed against me was dismissed.
I went through discovery and was deposed and after a little over a year, they withdrew their case with prejudice. The reason: plaintiff says I was defaming him by saying he was going over 50mMeq daily for all his patients. We said we would need patient information to confirm or deny that, and would need a protective order, to which his attorney agreed. Plaintiff refused to provide that information, citing HIPAA. We went to the judge and got an order to compel, which the judge agreed with. The deadline passed, and they did not provide the information (likely knowing it would immediately get handed over to the state AG's office). We went back to the judge who stated if they did not comply the court would look upon motions for sanctions and attorney's fees favorably. They continued to not comply, to which his attorney only said "i know, I'm sorry". They withdrew the case with prejudice before we were able to depose him. However, we were able to subpoena the county records in which he pleaded guilty to a felony and the board of pharmacy complaints he filed against other pharmacists and pharmacies (there were 15 in all by this time, some of which predated my involvement).
After this, I had to deal with getting my now $75,000 in legal fees back from [FORMER EMPLOYER]. Their attorneys were giddy that [FORMER EMPLOYER] was going to send their general counsel on a plane to be present for mediation. Because of this, my brother spent $2500 on a round trip flight to be present at mediation, because "this is what I'm good at". The Sunday before mediation we learned that general counsel wouldn't be there. In fact, nobody would other than their lawyers, and they had one of their attorneys who then had him available by phone. For some backstory, their VP of legal affairs and general counsel was THE FORMER CEO'S SON, who was given that position that usually requires a decade plus of experience at the age of like 32... My brother was pissed, he couldn't comp his ticket because he was co-counsel strictly to be in the fold and have privileged conversations. On top of that, they only offered 10k initially, and wouldn't agree to more than 15k after 5 hours. My brother said "this is insane, and I can't even go talk or yell at the guy because he isn't here". After 5 months of dealing with them and the mediator essentially telling them they were assured to lose, they agreed to settle for what was about 73% of my legal costs (about 25 days before our scheduled trial block would begin). There is no gag or confidentiality agreement in place, only mutual releases. Since then, nothing has happened to Frank with respect to the state AG's office, or the justice department. However, I did hear recently from a friend that [OTHER BIG CHAIN PHARMACY] is now refusing to dispense controlled substances for him. My former employer (sans my old store) continues to fill oxycodone for him, and I have been told the supervisor essentially tells pharmacists not to start trouble with him.
January 2024 update, Since then Frank's felony conviction has been reduced to a misdemeanor after completing a probationary period as a part of his initial plea deal. I recently learned that [FORMER EMPLOYER] now refuses to fill his oxycodone scripts after I settled with them.
I just wanted to let everyone know, never trust your employer. Public or Private, big or small, they won't hesitate to throw you under the bus if you become an inconvenience. Even if you have a decade of dedicated work, through the pandemic, on site covid testing, vaccine clinics that start at 3am, covering a last minute illness, personally delivering medications to notoriously unsafe neighborhoods in the dead of night, even being one of the few pharmacist trained to do nasopharyngeal swabs, and do so outside in -20F weather. They will discard you. And if you stand up for yourself, go public, or become a whistleblower, you'll become unhirable. This is why nobody does the right thing anymore.

Hello friends! I’m three days post surgery. Mine was laparoscopic with robot assistance. My pain beforehand wasn’t too frequent; I had maybe 5 or 6 gallbladder attacks in 4 months. I thought it was bad indigestion, but my first/last trip to the ER during an attack told me it was gallstones and it was inflamed.
I had my consultation Friday March 22nd. They called me the following week, Friday March 29th. Said they had someone cancel, so they could get me in as early as the next Thursday, April 4th. I was so happy it happened so quick because I have some pretty bad anxiety, ESPECIALLY when it comes to medical procedures, so it gave me a lot less time to worry about it!
I spent the week preparing myself mentally as much as I could. I read a bunch of posts on here for little tips and tricks that the doctors didn’t give me. I bought myself a wedge pillow (Bedluxe Bed Wedge Pillow, 10inch memory foam on Amazon: $35), filled my fridge with fizzy waters and zero sodas to help me pass the gas that would be trapped in me post op, got a bunch of comfort snacks that weren’t too high in fats, made sure I had some extra strength Tylenol on hand so I can go between the Ibuprofen and the Tylenol when I had pain, put some ice packs in the freezer, got my PlayStation hooked up to the living room tv so I could play video games and get up easier from the couch, etc.
The day of comes around, and I believe I’ve panicked so much leading up to it that my body is like “We’re tired of worrying, let’s just get this over with.” We get there at 8:15am, and are checked on here and there leading up to the operation time of 10:15am. They had my change into my backless gown and my husband put my grippy socks on me. I was on my period, but they had me remove my panties and wear some of theirs which were surprisingly comfy?
My husband and his mom came with, and honestly it was really nice laying there watching a relaxing nature channel while listening to them chit chat. It helped take my mind off of what was about to happen. The nurse came in to take my vitals, and another nurse gave me the IV. Everyone was so kind and confident in what they were doing, I felt really safe to be honest! My neighbors got me a stuffed gallbladder holding stones, so I took him with and all the nurses and doctors loved him 😂 they kept asking when it was time to wheel me away, “Does Caitlin still have her gallbladder?!” “Yes it’s in her lap!” The looks some of the doctors gave for the out of context conversation was amazing. Humor is a huge comfort for me!
I get back to the surgery room, and they raise the bed I’m in to the same level as the operation table. They ask if I’m able to scooch on to it. I say yes, scooch, get comfy, then next thing I know I’m waking up! It was the easiest thing ever. No countdown, no warning, just -scooch- -pass out-
I woke up to a really nice nurse putting a mask on my face saying “Alright sweetie you’re waking up now, I need you to take some deep breaths for me.” I was so confused and said “I forgot how to breath 😰” to which she replied “No you didn’t just breath 😄” she was correct, I did not forget 😂 She got me some ginger ale while I was waking up. She was hilarious and we became best friends instantly!
Once I was awake enough, they wheeled me to the post op room where my husband and mother in law were, and it was so nice to see them! They got me discharged, my husband helped me put my clothes back on, and they wheeled me out to the car.
The first night was easiest; I was in and out of sleep all night. The next day was the hardest so far. Trying to figure out how to get up and lay back down without hurting myself was almost impossible. The gas was in my shoulder and hurt SO bad the first two days.
Took my first poop yesterday, day two! (Number two on day two, appropriately). It was hard and small, but I was proud of it 😂 The oxycodone they gave me is only 5mg, and when I called crying in so much pain asking for an increase, they said they would not. I was so upset and in so much pain (the incision on my left side and where my gallbladder use to be). Their reasoning makes sense, though. If there’s any pain that’s not standard, they want me to be aware of it and come in if I need to. If I take stronger pain pills, I won’t be able to notice, and red flags going off could be ignored. But I found out a helpful way to deal with the pain! The 600mg Ibuprofen says to take every 8 hours. If I take 1000mg Tylenol, I can switch between the two of them every 2-4 hours instead. This has been my saving grace.
TLDR: play-by-play of surgery day.
Things to definitely note: - Get a wedge pillow. I’ve slept so well sitting up! - Get extra strength Tylenol (1000mg) to switch back and forth from prescription Ibuprofen. The 5mg oxycodone was really only for sleep. - Get a heating pad for your shouldeneck/back pain from the gas! - Ice pack your incision areas, it really does help give relief. - Do breathing exercises to avoid pneumonia. It’ll hurt, but I promise it’ll be worth it. - If you need to cough or sneeze, grab a throw pillow, squishmallow, blanket, anything to hold against your abdomen. It will still hurt, but it’s a lot better. - Get cough drops as well! - Fizzy drinks to help alleviate the gas. - Walk around once every couple of hours, it helps!
Ask me any other questions below! I hope this helps others with anxiety disorders to be able to read and gain insight.
Love to you all 🫶

Hello 👋🙂
Got a long story for you guys! Any help or suggestions for relief/treatment is greatly appreciated 😭
Before having my baby on Feb 1st, I was a very healthy individual with minimal problems. I ran 5ks, lifted weights, ate well, etc. My pregnancy was flawless until the end when I had gestational hypertension and was induced. (The doctors were concerned I might have pre-eclampsia but never diagnosed me with it.) I pushed with my chin to chest for multiple hours and when I got tired, I asked my husband to push my head for me. I don't remember any time where I suddenly became in pain.. I had a more serious situation coming out my hoo-ha, if you will. Lol. Anyway, two hours after my labodelivery, I had a bad headache with neck pain which was eventually treated with a sort of migraine cocktail. Headache went away, my husband, baby, and I were discharged soon after. We went home and within 30mns, my head was raging and my neck was super stiff. That whole night, I couldn't move my neck in any direction. I went to the ER, was given a similar cocktail but it failed to help me. I was admitted to the hospital for several more days and had one CT Scan and a brain MRI when symptoms got worse. Throughout the week, symptoms got weird. I was experiencing weird nerve sensations up my neck and into my head and when this sensation 'flared up', I lost my ability to recall, have conversations, I could read the MRI intake paper but had a really hard time trying to write my signature, etc. The MRI came back showing evidence of a csf leak, a small 1.5cm lesion located at the bottom right cerebellum area, and a tiny aneurysm on the left side of my brain. I was told not to worry about the lesion or aneurysm. I followed up with a neurologist and neuro-oncologist about the tumor and they both said they believe it's probably benign based on the MRIs I've had (3 in February/March 2024) and they didnt/don't believe it was cause for my symptoms. At the hospital, the anesthesiologists said they did not want to give me a blood patch because they thought it was a 'high risk' procedure, but on the flip side, the neurologists recommended the blood patch.. But both sides said they believed the csf leak would heal on its own eventually. Fast forward 3 weeks with no blood patch, I was still having terrible symptoms in my head and neck and a new tingling feeling throughout my shoulders into my hands... This lead to an ambulance ride to the hospital where I eventually got a blood patch by interventional radiologists. It did not bring relief. But we were discharged with hopes that it would eventually bring relief... To make a long story a little shorter, it's been 2+ months and I'm still in pain. I've had 6 or 7 hospital visits. My neuro doctor and physical therapist both told me not to go to the chiropractor, but I went anyway in hopes of relief. I got an xray done there and my neck vertebrae are stacked straight on top of each other, instead of the natural curvature. The physical therapist told me this week that he doesn't really think this problem is muscular. He encouraged me to reach back out to neuro again as well as my pcp so they could help manage the chaos and keep track of the specialities I've talked to, etc.
I've been in and out of the hospital since my baby's birth. The most recent hospital visit was this week. Neuro visited me there and said to try Topamax but I had to decline because the side effects were too severe/scary to me.. And I don't have a migraine. I've had migraines before and this pain is not like that at all. I don't have sensitivity to light or sound, no auras, no throbbing etc. I really don't believe this pain is any sort of headache. These are all the details I can think of right now. I also got a 2nd blood patch at one point but it didn't help.
My symptoms as of this week have been: a tingling, weak, and painful sensation in my upper neck that goes down my neck sometimes and into my shoulders. I also have burning sensation at the bottom of my head/skull. When these flare up, I get very anxious because I never know when the pain will subside. I have this very intense pressure/tightness on the top of my scalp (not forehead) and back of skull/head. It varies in intensity throughout the days but is worse when laying down, riding in vehicles, and going up/down stairs. I started gabapentin prescribed by my pcp. I'm only on my 2nd dose and am currently experiencing the tightest sensation in the back of my head that I've experienced ever so far. It makes it incredibly difficult to sleep - it's the reason I was awake at midnight, on the internet, looking for relief.. I've had a total of 4 MRIs since Feb 1st and the doctors say it comes back clear (no more indication of csf leak; aneurysm and lesion/mass still there obviously). I also experience some tingling and weakness mostly in my face and arms/hands. I think some of that could be related to what's going on as well as anxiety that I've developed since all this pain started.
That's another thing I'll add - there's been no relief from medicines. The whole time. Tylenol, Motrin, Fioricet, Oxycodon, muscle relaxers like cyclobenzaprine, metha-something, etc. No ice or heat will help. Nothing. Moving my head in any direction doesn't make the tightness/pressure/heavy-feeling go away or change. No relief. Just constant pain. Standing up and moving around brings slight relief but nothing less than a 5. I'm in constant pain ranging from 3-10 on pain scale but it's never 0.
My neurosurgeon and physician at the ortho place say I have occipital neuralgia. Did I fuck up my neck so bad that I have damaged nerves/ON? Does anyone have any thoughts?
Like I previously stated, I was a very healthy individual with minimal problems leading up to the birth of my baby. Something else has happened between the time of his birth and now that screwed me up. No one can give me answers. I cannot care for my baby or be an efficient partner to my husband. I am desparate for relief and for answers. Any help is greatly GREATLY appreciated.
Thank you 😭

27F. 5 foot 3 inches. Approx 165lbs. Currently taking gabapentin. I do not smoke or drink alcohol.
Before having my baby on Feb 1st, I was a very healthy individual with minimal problems. My pregnancy was flawless until the end when I had gestational hypertension and was induced. (The doctors were concerned I might have pre-eclampsia but never diagnosed me with it.) Two hours after my labodelivery, I had a bad headache which was eventually treated with a sort of migraine cocktail. Headache went away, my husband, baby, and I were discharged soon after. We went home and within 30mns, my head was raging and my neck was super stiff. That whole night, I couldn't move my neck in any direction. I went to the ER, was given a similar cocktail but it failed to help me. I was admitted to the hospital for several more days and had one CT Scan and a brain MRI when symptoms got worse. Throughout the week, symptoms got weird. I was experiencing weird nerve sensations up my neck and into my head and when this sensation 'flared up', I lost my ability to recall, have conversations, I could read the MRI intake paper but had a really hard time trying to write my signature, etc. The MRI came back showing evidence of a csf leak, a small 1.5cm lesion located at the bottom right cerebellum area, and a tiny aneurysm on the left side of my brain. I was told not to worry about the lesion or aneurysm. I followed up with a neurologist and neuro-oncologist about the tumor and they both said they believe it's probably benign based on the MRIs I've had (3 in February 2024) and they didnt believe it was cause for my symptoms. At the hospital, the anesthesiologists said they did not want to give me a blood patch because they thought it was a 'high risk' procedure, but on the flip side, the neurologists recommended the blood patch.. But both sides said they believed the csf leak would heal on its own eventually. Fast forward 3 weeks, I was still having terrible symptoms in my head and neck and a new tingling feeling throughout my shoulders into my hands... This lead to an ambulance ride to the hospital where I eventually got a blood patch by interventional radiologists. It did not bring relief. But we were discharged with hopes that it would eventually bring relief... To make a long story a little shorter, it's been 2+ months and I'm still in pain. I've had 6 or 7 hospital visits. My neuro doctor and physical therapist both told me not to go to the chiropractor, but I went anyway in hopes of relief. I got an xray done there and my neck vertebrae are stacked straight on top of each other, instead of the natural curve. The physical therapist told me this week that he doesn't think this problem is muscular. He encouraged me to reach back out to neuro again as well as my pcp so they could help manage the chaos and keep track of the specialities I've talked to, etc.
I've been in and out of the hospital since my baby's birth. The most recent visit was this week. Neuro visited me there and said to try Topamax but I had to decline because the side effects were too severe/scary to me.. And I don't have a migraine. I've had migraines before and this pain is not like that at all. I don't have sensitivity to light or sound, no auras, no throbbing etc. I really don't believe this pain is any sort of headache. These are all the details I can think of right now. I also got a 2nd blood patch at one point but it didn't help.
My symptoms as of this week have been: a tingling, weak, and painful sensation in my neck. When this flares up, I get very anxious because I never know when the pain will subside. I have this very intense pressure/tightness on the top of my scalp (not forehead) and back of skull/head. It varies in intensity throughout the days but is worse when laying down, riding in vehicles, and going up/down stairs. I started gabapentin prescribed by my pcp. I'm only on my 1st dose and am currently experiencing the tightest sensation in the back of my head than I've experienced ever so far. It makes it incredibly difficult to sleep - it's the reason I'm awake at midnight right now, on the internet, looking for relief.. I've had a total of 4 MRIs since Feb 1st and the doctors say it comes back clear (no more indication of csf leak; aneurysm and lesion/mass still there obviously). I also experience some tingling and weakness mostly in my face and arms/hands. I think some of that could be related to what's going on as well as anxiety that I've developed since all this pain started.
That's another thing I'll add - there's been no relief from medicines. The whole time. Tylenol, Motrin, Fioricet, Oxycodon, muscle relaxers like cyclobenzaprine, metha-something, etc. No ice or heat will help. Nothing. Moving my head in any direction doesn't make the tightness/pressure/heavy-feeling go away or change. No relief. Just constant pain.
Like I previously stated, I was a very healthy individual with minimal problems leading up to the birth of my baby. Something else has happened between the time of his birth and now that screwed me up. No one can give me answers. I cannot care for my baby or be am efficient partner to my husband. I am desparate for relief and for answers. Any help is greatly GREATLY appreciated.
Thank you.

I've posted several times on here for various conditions that my mom (86, white, 5 feet, 117 lbs) has been dealing with in the past few months.
The most recent is she has just been healing from cellulitis on her ankles when now she has been having pain in her knee and hip. X-rays only showed degenerative changes due to her age and osteoarthritis. Although she has a history of gout, the doctor doesn't think it is gout.
She has dementia and she screams whenever you go near her and barely touch her in those areas. She was on Tramadol, but the nurses didn't think it was helping so they added on Oxycodone and Baclofen. Her dementia is now much worse. Whereas a week ago I was able to have a mostly normal conversation with her, now she is constantly falling asleep, can barely feed herself, is fearful and is hallucinating more.
I understand the doctors and nurses want to manage her pain, but I feel like all these medications are making things worse. Tonight I spoke to a doctor who agreed to take her off the Tramadol and Baclofen. My questions are 1) Do you think these meds are making her dementia worse and 2) Would dementia make someone think they are in pain when they aren't?

The young american turned the page of his book, and took a sip of cafe con leche.
The waitress wiped the table beside him, glancing over.
She had unnaturally black hair, the dark of a woman in her mid forties hiding the creeping grey.
‘Shakespeare,’ she said in a Spanish accent, ‘Romeo y Julieta.’
He nodded, looking up. ‘I’m sorry, my Spanish is a little rusty. You speak english?’
‘I can get by,’ she replied in an accent mangled by travel.
Not in an ugly way, he thought, rather, it spoke of adventure.
‘American Jews,’ she continued, ‘they stop in Mar Del Plata on their way to Miramar.’
‘Miramar, would you recommend it?’
‘There is nowhere in South America I would not recommend for a young american. The local girls, they will love you.’
He smiled, neat and even white teeth, and looked across the bay. The deep blue water of the Atlantic chopped at the beach crowded with sun worshippers.
Mar Del Plata had been a boomtown since World War 2. Peronism had been a boon for the Middle Class and in the previous 10 years they’d flooded the seaside resorts.
‘The way you say local girl,’ the young american continued, ‘you are not a local girl?’
‘No, and as you can see nor am I a girl.’ She smiled.
‘So where are you from?’
He put his bookmark in place and closed the pages.
‘I’m European,’ she replied.
‘Spanish?’
‘No,’ she hesitated, ‘Northern European. A lot of us came after the war when the continent was in ruins.’
Another patron came into the cafe. He ordered a cortado from the waitress and sat at the counter with a copy of Charin.
The day had that easy morning feel of mid-summer in the southern hemisphere. Outside on the pavement, old men in trilbys threw dice, a kid sat on a wall licking ice cream off his fingers, a cat stretched itself out under a parasol.
The waitress returned to the table. ‘And you, what province in the USA are you from?’
‘California. I’m a journalism major at USC.’
‘And you go in for the politics?’
He shook his head, his hair (bleached blonde by the salt and sun) danced. ‘I’m what they call beat.’
‘Beat? You mean to hit in english?’
‘Sort of, but more like you know the beat of a drum in a jazz band.’
‘You know, as a young girl, I rather liked Peter Kreuder,’ she paused. ‘his popularity faded though.’
The young man found himself staring closely at the waitress. She was certainly not beautiful, and probably never had been. She had a rather flat, broad nose and square jaw. Her unnaturally dark hair was coarse and unkempt. Yet he still felt a kind of magnetic attraction toward her.
She was a waitress in a dusty old seaside cafe, but it was as if she did not belong there, as if a cosmic creator had haphazardly placed a great character actor into the background of a minor scene.
He took out a camera, it was a Kodak colorsnap 35 gifted to him by his father for his final year.
‘I’m doing a travelogue, collecting snippets along my way– I'd really like to take your picture.’
She hesitated, her hand resting on her breastbone.
‘Well, I don’t know. Nobody has asked to take a picture of me for many years.’
But there was just something about that young american. From all the chaos and destruction of the last 50 years, he stood in stark contrast. There was light in his eyes.
‘Of course,’ she said, ‘that would be fine.’
‘Swell,’ he beamed, ‘now if you stand over there beside the counter, the light will be best.’
…
After that, the two fell into even easier conversation.
He did most of the talking, but she did not mind. It had been a long time since she had met someone with ambition- even if it was offset by a certain degree of naivety.
He was going to change the world, word by word, experience by experience, this was the American century. The forces of old and evil were spent. A new eutopia beckoned.
‘You should come with me,’ he continued, ‘to Miramar.’
Disappear off to Miramar with a 21 year old American? For a second she felt giddy, intoxicated, and then she caught herself.
She had had her youth– arguably wasted it– and she had responsibilities.
‘It is a very nice offer,’ she replied, ‘but you see, I am married.’
The youth apologised, paid for his coffee, and shook her hand.
‘I have a feeling you will be the central character of any book I write, and I will dedicate it to you… And I just realised I don't even know your name.’
She blushed at the first sentence and seemed strangely perturbed by the second.
‘Thankyou, and it’s Anna.’
‘For Anna, forever,’ he replied.
She watched through the glass as he strolled into the early morning sunshine, a young man ready to conquer the world.
…
The bicycle ride home filled her with a weighty grief.
She and her husband lived in a cabin down a dusty farm track. It was bare, unadorned, inconspicuous.
The front door creaked open. The waft of decay seeped out.
On the table was a barely touched meal of leberkloesse.
Her husband sat in the armchair in the corner with a blanket over his knees. His white hair was pulled into a side parting.
‘Eva, is that you?’ His voice was weak, reedy.
Spread all around him were maps, annotated so that demarcations between countries were barely legible.
‘Yes, it’s me.’
‘I finally have it,’ he continued.
Everyday he had it. She made her way to his ‘study,’ and as she went, cleared the empty packets of Pervitin which he ate like candies.
‘You see, if we don’t invade Yugoslavia and Greece, and if we don’t divert the two panzer armies of army group centre to army group north, there is not the delay in reaching Moscow.’
‘I see,’ she replied, but all she could really see was an old man speaking in the present tense because he’d gone insane, still she continued the charade for the sake of her sanity as much as his.
‘A young man came into the kaffeeshop today, an american college student making his way to Miramar.’
Her husband jabbed at positions on the map.
‘A fine young man, he even asked if he could take my picture for his book.’
The map fell to the floor, he turned, there was a fire in his eyes she had not seen for many years. In truth, it scared her. She had rather grown used to him being docile.
‘You did what?’
‘I spoke to a young american.’
‘A picture?!’
‘Yes, for his book.’
Painfully, he rose to his feet.
‘Damn foolish woman. Can’t you see what you’ve done? We’ll have to move immediately. Call the Bishop.’
‘Relax, darling, he was just a young american boy travelling. He even showed me his student I.D.’
‘A zionist ruse! Mossad.’ But even as he said it, the conviction left his voice, his mind was snapping back to 1942.
Still, the outburst had concerned her, it would not do to have his heart so stressed. She reached for the bottle of oxycodone and filled a syringe.
It was becoming harder and harder to get the drugs, which is why she’d taken the job as a waitress. It was a gamble, no doubt, but the fact of her existence was so outlandish nobody would believe it.
‘They will have a parade for me in Red Square,’ he continued, ‘and we will take Lenin from his mausoleum and burn the swine in the street.’
‘Yes, Adi, yes.’ She eased him back to his chair and gently pricked him with the needle.
His eyes closed.
She went to the sink and cleared the food away, thinking of the young american. Of course it had crossed her mind he was of Wiesenthal’s lot, and yet she had made peace with it.
A part of her rather wished he was. Nobody could accuse her then of shirking her duty.
She had no life at all since leaving the Fuhrenbunker in 1945 and taking the secret submarine to Argentina.
No doubt, the Jewish agents would dispatch her quickly and in secret.
She closed her eyes, reached out a hand, and imagined stroking the boy’s face as the bus trundled to Miramar.
And then she finished the washing up.

Hi everyone!
Even though I’ve been a lurker for much of my thyca journey, I just wanted to express my gratitude for having access to this community.
I’ve read through some of the posts here multiple times (and the wonderful ThyCa resource online!)
Learning about so many unique experiences has done so much to empower me to stay positive through much of this unexpected journey.
I just finished my total thyroidectomy (TT) and wanted to document my experience.
Will be updating this post sporadically with updates!

Diagnosis

• Randomly diagnosed after visiting PCP and sharing history of borderline hypothyroidism and no other symptoms.
• Ultrasound found multiple nodules, most notably two TIRADS 4 and two TIRADS 3 (both lobes.) TSH and T4 normal.
• FNA or follow up recommended. FNA results come back positive for papillary thyroid cancer.
• TT recommended by endo towards the end of December. Surgery scheduled for end of February.
• The biggest hurdle has been the shock + hurdle of navigating the healthcare system in a new city.

Deciding on a Surgeon

• Surgery at John Hopkins Outpatient with Dr. Lilah Morris-Wiseman, Head of Endocrine Surgery.
• Met with her once before surgery to talk through the procedure and she was FANTASTIC. Really made me feel confident and thoroughly answered every question.
• Did talk to another surgeon at Mercy and he was great too but decided to go with her ultimately due to her incredible knowledge on the field.
• She also ordered a lymph node scan prior to my appt with her, which made me feel like she was being more thorough with my case.
• Volume was a priority. Both surgeons performed over 150+ thyroidectomies per year. Make sure to ask!
• Also asked about complication rates and preventive measures like nerve monitors. There’s some great questions compiled on this subreddit + thyca website that I used! Absolutely take your time to be thorough!

Surgery Details

• The surgery scheduled for 1 pm on Tuesday.
• Stopped eating the midnight prior, and was asked to drink only 8 oz of water between then and 10 am.
• Told surgery was scheduled for 100 min (approx 2 hours) and was told I would be kept for anesthesia recovery + parathyroid monitoring for two hours after. Unless surgery needed to be extended (if there were suspicious lymph nodes upon inspection requiring a bigger dissection) I would be out by 6 pm.

Surgery Experience

• Arrived at JH Outpatient center at 11 am with my spouse and my mom. Was a ball of nerves but the process went super smoothly after checking in. Not a lot of unnecessary waiting.
• After checking in, the first nurse took me to the pre-op area alone. My spouse and mom sat in the waiting room but we were told they’d be called in soon.
• I was asked if I could provide some urine (for blood sugar level + pregnancy testing, I assume.)
• I was then taken to a cubicle/open room? There were about 10 rooms but only 4 had patients.
• She asked me to change into the hospital gown and put my clothes + shoes into a bag. I was super grateful to be able to double gown (back and front) and have a bit more coverage.
• Once settled on the hospital chair, she inserted a canola with some saline solution to balance my electrolytes. I’m a little sensitive so the canola felt a little uncomfortable for a while. The saline felt cool running through me.
• Another nurse came to talk to me and ask about medical history and the past 24 hours. I told this pre-op area nurse I was super nervous as this was my first surgery.
• I was not officially given anything for anxiety but I think the electrolyte balancing after being thirsty all morning did wonders for my mood.
• She gave me 1000 mg tylenol as it’s supposed to help with recovery to start early.
• My family was called back in.
• After that it was a rotating in and out of the different folks who were going to be in the surgery. The anesthesiology resident, chief anesthesiologist, the surgeon and doctor, and then the post-op nurse. They all made me sign various consent forms for the surgery and asked about medical history.
• Finally another anesthesia doctor came to get me and she let me carry my electrolyte bag to the bathroom one last time to pee. Despite not drinking much since last night, it was well worth it to go one last time before surgery.
• After that we walked over to the operating room as she made small conversation about what I do. I don’t know why I expected to be rolled over but I didn’t mind walking!
• Once at the OR, I was asked to take the back gown off and only keep the front gown on.
• I said hi to everyone in the room again and climbed onto the OR bed. Tried not to focus on the beeping and the machines. It was a very brightly lit room with a lot of machines. Easy to be a little spooked by it but I reminded myself all of it was there to take care of me!
• They took my electrolyte bag and unhooked it from the canola. That didn’t hurt!
• Once on the bed, they connected EKG stickers on me to monitor my heart, put a blood pressure cuff on my leg and a massager(?) on the other leg.
• I expressed my anxiety once again and they said it would be over soon. And it was! The anesthesiologist told me they’d be giving me a “spicy mix” and a metallic taste filled my mouth. And next thing I know, I was waking up in the post-op room.

Post-op

• I have low pain tolerance but it wasn’t horrific what I woke up too. More like a deep soreness in the neck, throat and upper chest area than the sharp shooting pain I was worried about.
• I woke up to the nurse opening up a can of cola and feeding me jello. I must have been awake for sometime because I definitely picked those lol!
• My discomfort/pain was at a 7/10 and I asked for more pain support. The post op nurse was very attentive in getting me some medication asap.
• I was able to feed myself and drink my soda by myself by then.
• I was super glad to not have the IV bag and pipes hanging off me, but I did still have the canola in. I also had blood drawn from another hand and it was gauged/taped up.
• My surgeon came in to say hi and let me know it went super well. The whole thyroid was out, the nodules looked encapsulated in it, and the lymph nodes looked clear, but she still took some tissue samples to biopsy. No lymph nodes removed, I guess.
• After she left, the nurse invited in my husband and my mom. They brought back my clothes. They went over discharge instructions with him as we waited for my PTH and calcium results to come back.
• After 20 or so minutes, it all came back clear and I was given the go ahead to leave. I changed into clean clothes I brought from home. Definitely bring something that doesn’t rub against the neck and can be opened from the front.
• They were super thorough about instructions to monitor calcium issues (tingling in hand/feet/mouth) and had my husband pick up my prescriptions of Tylenol and oxycodone (to be alternated for pain every 4 hours) beforehand.
• Once ready, I was wheeled out to the pick up area where my husband brought the car out from their parking lot.
• Pain was minimal for the first hour or so when I returned home. Highly recommend a travel neck pillow for the car ride back (especially if you’re in an area with a lot of potholes.) The shaking feels awful!
• I was able to walk back to my apartment once we parked, though my husband held me because I was a little dizzy.

Day 1

• I was able to eat pudding cups and yoghurt when I returned around 7 pm. I was ravenous lol. I also made some rice porridge/congee and it really satiated the soul and perked me up.
• I tried to drink water as much as I can and though it was slightly hard to swallow, it was manageable.
• I also had to pee a lot. I was able to navigate around the bathroom just fine despite the soreness in the neck.
• My pain level was at a 2/3 for a while but I couldn’t turn my head too much.
• By hour 4, the pain had gotten really bad and it was time to start taking the pain meds I thought I could manage on the 500 Mg tylenol but it did nothing. I took some oxycodone 1 hour later instead of the recommended 2.
• I was also unable to configure a good sleeping position even with stacking the pillows and so that + the pain made everything feel worse. I was EXHAUSTED but could not sleep.
• I got hungry again but could not stand the mushy rice even. Could only do the cold pudding.
• I also moved around too much I think and the steristrip shifted around the edge of the incision a bit, exposing a bit of the scarring but not sutures. I called the hospital afterhours line and they said it should be fine as long as it’s not the central part and that I should not touch it regardless.
• After pretty much giving up on sleep, I took some more Tylenol 4 hours from the last dose and finally the pain subsided a little bit.
• I was finally able to set up a tolerable sleeping position and exhaustion overtook me. I got a solid 2 hours of sleep till the pain woke me up again. But feel so much more human after that nap.
• I was able to wake up around 6 am, take just Tylenol and eat another bowl of rice porridge. I knew it would set me back on my first levothyroxine dose in the morning but I was starving!
• Napped in 30 min blocks after the meal but the pain was getting terrible again so decided to take the painkiller again.
• Two nurses from John Hopkins called to follow up on my status and were very thorough about what to expect and how to feel better.
• Was recommended to take miralax and colace to help with the pain med constipation.

It’s been nearly 24 hours since my surgery started and the pain is really starting to amp up as the initial meds leave my system. I’m trying to get more sleep and protein in as I can.
Hoping my body adjusts well to the high dose of Levo (200 mg.) I am nearly 220 pounds so I assume that might be affecting why it’s so high.
Hope my hour by hour breakdown of my experience helps anyone going into surgery!
My only advice is know that you’re your biggest advocate — so do not shy away for asking for what you need! We all got this!!
I’ll do a one week update as well!

ONE WEEK UPDATE

Hi everyone! It’s day 8 post-op for me and I’m back with updates!

Pain

• I thought I was recovering really well at first. I got into a good routine of Tylenol and oxycodone every alternating 4-6 hours. I ran out of painkillers and decided to go Tylenol-only by day 3.
• On day 3, I had an allergic reaction to a takeout pasta I had ordered and had a coughing fit. Needed Zyrtec + my inhaler to calm me down and was glad I didn’t have any painkiller in my system. I think the coughing affected the pain moving forward.
• On day 4, a different kind of pain started. After the surgery, the pain was just stiffness and a deep soreness (6/10) in the neck. By day 4, I had a growing stinging and choking feeling in the neck (no breathing issues or swallowing issues though.)
• I had more range of motion in my neck by day 4. However, there was also a lot more pain and discomfort all over my body from sleeping at a weird angle. Overall pain level on Day 5 was 5/10 but some moments really getting up to 7/10.
• It was the first time since the surgery that I struggled to move and talk with ease.
• I requested more pain medication because Tylenol was no longer cutting it for the level of pain I was in. My doctor gave me a refill and I’ve been taking Tylenol primarily but took the painkiller twice a day to alleviate the pain between day 5 and 7.
• The pain is a lot better now on day 8. Was able to lie flat on my bed for the first time in a week and it made a world of difference.
• Will most likely only use the painkiller for the next two nights and then cut it off entirely.

Incision healing

• Not gonna lie having your neck cut is weird. Not painful but conceptually weird to get your head around (hah!)
• Initially, I was really nervous about moving and kept my neck low. By day 2, I was a little more confident and took my surgeon’s advice and started moving my head more (mostly left and right.)
• It was difficult to sneeze and cough as it strained the incision.
• I was cleared to shower the day after but I showered on day 3 avoiding direct water spraying to the incision/steri strip. I then patted the area dry. Had no averse reaction to it!
• On day 4, my incision started stinging but there was no swelling. I could tell it was healing because it felt like it was thickening on the inside (can’t explain — odd feeling but not painful)
• Range of motion kept increasing with each passing day (though I still haven’t leaned back yet.)
• Other than the feeling of something being tied around my neck (on day 5 and day 6), it hasn’t been too bothersome since.
• Doctor told me to let the steri strip fall off on its own after a week and I have been careful to not touch it. The glue seems very strong!

Normal activity + Misc

• I haven’t resumed any strenuous activity but did a bit of chores (no heavy lifting) on day 3 and 4. Realized I was impeding my healing by trying to “heal quicker.” Resting more actively from day 5 onwards helped me a lot more!

Sleep

• I could not lay down flat in bed comfortably until day 8 and was propped up on pillows + wedge for a week.
• I’m a side sleeper and can sleep comfortably on my side now but it’s still a little hard to flip around by myself without supporting my neck.
• I still have to support my neck with my hand while getting up from bed. It’s not that I can’t get up without the support, the straining just feels uncomfortable!

Eating

• I have always had an appetite lol and it wasn’t different post surgery. I did smoothies once I think. I had a lot of cold pudding which was great!
• By day 3, I was eating rice, potatoes, curry. There was slight discomfort swallowing but it was the same regardless of food consistency.
• By day 8 now I can more or less eat everything. I avoided crumbly and hard textured food for a few days. But I demolished some pretzel sticks today and it was completely pain-free LOL.

Levo

• I was so nervous about how Levo would feel but I’ve been taking it consistently between 7 and 9 am and waiting 30 min to 1 hour to eat after.
• I actually feel so much clear headed after surgery! My memory feels better and I feel a lot more like “me.” I didn’t realize how bad my brain fog had gotten in the last year or so, I chalked it up to being long covid but now it feels like it was my thyroid all along.
• I have been thorough about drinking 8 oz of water following the levo and even if it’s placebo, it makes me feel A LOT BETTER. The day I skipped the water, I felt a little dizzy and anxious but nothing too bad.
• Not a lot of fatigue beyond the first 3/4 days or surgery. Very surprised to feel this energetic.

Bowel

• ABSOLUTELY take miralax and colace if your doc okayed it! Start the day after surgery to get ahead of the constipation. I think it saved me from too much discomfort.
• I had a BM finally on day 2 post-op and was pretty regular by day 4 when I reduced painkiller intake. Stopped miralax then.

Surgery Shopping List: Yays and Nays

• Bed wedge pillow: MEH. Used it for a solid week because I could not lie down flat. But it wasn’t comfortable. Neither was a stack of pillows. Your mileage may vary. It was very pricey ($90) for how it felt.
• Travel Neck Pillow (memory foam): YAY! Did not buy this for the surgery but it was godsent. It had an opening in the front so it didn’t rub against the incision. It was the only way I could sleep for the first 3 days.
• Colace: YAY! A must.
• Miralax: YAY! Another must.
• Tums: YAY! I didn’t have any calcium issues so far but you should definitely have some on hand just in case. They told me to carry some on me while traveling for the first month!
• Hall’s/Throat Lozenge: YAY! So comforting when you don’t feel hungry enough for a cool treat but your throat needs some comfort.
• Gel Ice Pack that can be wrapped around neck: MEH. I picked too large a gel pack and it was uncomfortable having it on me. I should’ve tried to find a smaller ice pack. I also don’t like feeling cold so I didn’t use it much but it was helpful on day 1.
• Wheat straws: YAY! I could not lift my head up enough to drink from cups. Can’t even on day 8. These straws were fantastic to help with that.

Misc Advice

• Don’t skimp on rest. I am a helpless optimist and convinced myself I could be running around doing everything by day 3 — please give yourself the time to recover. Your body went through a lot, if you can, give it the break it deserves.
• Get your protein and carbs in! I know there’s a lot of fear around weight gain post tt. Being obese, I am always thinking about my weight. But your body is doing A LOT. Please be kind to yourself. Listen to your body. Your body deserves all the nutrients!
• Be patient with yourself and this process! It can be so much sometimes. The best we can do on some days is just taking it step by step. I can think of a million what if’s post-TT but for now I’m trying to focus on what I can do feel good! Daily walks is the next goal!

SUMMARY: Had uterine fibroid embolization. Pretty easy procedure, Some funny hallucinations from all the meds, 24 hours of pretty rough pain, the importance of having supportive people with you, then the next two days mild cramping with exhaustion. Faster recovery than expected overall
​
I have a large fibroid about 5.5 inches in diameter (I believe it was approx 14.4 cm). I am a lucky person who doesn't get cramping but for 24-36 hours I will bleed so heavily that I will empty my menstrual cup every hour. Bleeding lasts 7 days and often another week of clear discharge. One night every month I have to wake up every hour and a half to deal with all the blood and my bathroom looks like a slasher movie the next morning.
I have medical trauma (dr abuse) from childhood so anesthesia is terrifying to me. I have tried every single natural and homeopathic remedy possible to cure this naturally. I have healed so much in my life on this journey so I don't regret it but I have not healed my fibroid. I chose to get UFE since it did not involve anesthesia.
My consultation was great. The nurses were all super nice, and the doctor who would be performing the surgery seemed really clear, focused, and healthy. He took the time to answer all my questions. When he went over all the possible complications he told me the precautions he took to avoid each one. Once I said let's do this, and the scheduling desk set up every pre-op and operation appointment right then.
MRI and pre bloodwork I did at the hospital 5 minutes from me. Getting my meds was more complicated than it should be because there were computer glitches, but I got the last of them 5 minutes before the pharmacy closed the day before the procedure. I live alone and expected a lot of pain so I got the friend who was driving me to stay the night and had people coming to check on me and bring food the next three days after.
The day of my friend picked me up right on time. She dropped my dog at another friend's house so I wouldn't be worried if things ended up taking longer. I was so grateful she was there for pre-op because I was pretty out of my body in trauma response. I almost passed out when they put the IV in, then they gave me some valium and some other drugs. It was an all women team of nurses and they had such great energy. They were kind and made me feel good. They asked me what kind of music I wanted in case I was partially conscious and I chose "Praising Earth," a really mellow kirtan group that I listen to for sleep or baths.
I could hear everything they were saying though I couldn't really feel much except some pressure on my leg. They sounded really focused and there was no small talk. They had my face draped and turned off the lights to see their computer screens. Then one woman laughed and said "it feels like a spa in here with this music." I said, "If it's too mellow, you guys can change it." The room went dead silent, then one of the nurses said "you're supposed to be asleep."
They must've given me a big cocktail then because I half woke up when they were clearly finishing. They were applying pressure to the catheter site and talking about their dogs and obviously cleaning up. Then I was out again and when I woke up again the room was spinning and a nurse was giving me some more meds and asking how I was feeling. I said I felt like I was back in college after a night of partying and she might need to carry me to the bathroom. The next two hours I was in and out of consciousness and drinking as much water as possible. I had some cramping, then they'd give me some naproxen or Tylenol to swallow. I somehow got into my clothes and my friend came to pick me up.
I had my eyes closed for all the release instructions. I couldn’t keep them open. The whole drive home my dog sat on my lap and my eyes were closed and I was having fabulous hallucinations. We were in a dune buggy in the sand dunes. “Wait you’re not going to go up that one right?” I asked my friend then opened my eyes to see we were still in the city. I told her, “oh, I thought we were 4wheeling in the sand dunes.” She was cracking up because I’m the 100% sober one in our friend group. Then I thought we were driving through this beautiful Christmas light show, and this huge weeping willow made of starlight was hanging over the tree and I said “what a beautiful tree!” and opened my eyes to see we were on the highway in the desert. It was an enjoyable strange drive home and I just let myself enjoy it. It was a good distraction from the nausea and cramping that was beginning.
When I got home I was cramping pretty badly but I fell asleep almost immediately and slept for 3 hours. I woke up from pain just as my friend was knocking on my door to tell me it was time for a round of painkillers. That’s when the pain hit. It was pretty bad. I was supposed to drink some stool softener powder and I threw it up. It was hard to keep down the painkillers, but I sat up as much as I could and made up songs about the pain mostly involving swear words. Then we started singing let it go at the top of our lungs and few other karaoke songs which helped the nausea and distracted me. When the pain meds kicked in I went back to sleep. On top of the oxycodone, alleve, and Tylenol, I also supplemented with some CBD, serious relaxer (an herbal sedative that contains wild lettuce among other things), and the homeopathic remedies Arnica 1M and hypericum 200c. The homeopathic remedies I alternated every hour and they helped a lot.
That first night was rough. I slept starting at 9:30 and woke up at midnight from pain again right when my friend was waking me up for me painkillers. It took about 30 minutes for them to kick in, then I slept another 3 hours, woke up, took the natural painkillers (CBD and serious relaxer) and slept till 5:00. At 5:30 am I woke my friend up and she got me some more oxycodone and stayed up with me distracting me with conversation until the cramping subsided enough.
My nurse called me a few hours later and told me I could be taking the painkillers far more often than I was, every 2 hours on rotations, take the antinausea med, wait 30 minutes, then oxy, then alleve, then Tylenol. Things got better from there on out.
That day I mostly rested and took my painkillers on schedule. I had some spotting but not much A friend came by in the morning and made me a smoothie and put some stew in my fridge. I took a nap outside, read books and watched TV. I took a shower. A friend came over in the evening and brought me soup which I ate and kept down. The pain was more like a period cramp. I took an alleve and some CBD and serious relaxer before bed and slept 9 hours.
Today my pain is at about a 2 or 3, so totally bearable. I have started bleeding like a period, but not like my awful periods, more like the ones I remember from high school. I am completely exhausted and plan to mostly rest today. I am not taking the oxycodone at all and am taking an alleve or Tylenol rotating every 6 hours. I feel a little woozy and very out of it, most likely from coming off all the meds. I was able to make my own breakfast and tidy my house for 20 minutes. I think tomorrow I will be able to function a little. I don’t expect much from myself, and am super pleased.
Overall, the recovery has been easier than expected. I expected the first 24 hours to be rough, and it was. Having a friend to keep my spirits up and make sense of my medication schedule made all the difference. I took a full week off from work but I’m not sure I’ll be resting the whole week. I might get a day or two of staycation vibes :)
I will post an update when I get my first period after the procedure and get an idea of how fast symptoms are subsiding.

Since a skiing accident and spinal fusion some years ago which left me with permanent nerve damage and intractable back pain. I have been dependent on opioid painkillers to manage my pain. Over the course of my treatment I have become dependent on Oxycodone physically, and rely on it for quality of life. I also have to be honest, I do enjoy the way it makes me feel, and the relief I get from the medication is very dose-dependent.
In the Uk there has been recent guidance from the National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE), which advises the national health service (NHS) on which treatments to offer patients. The guidance says to not start patients on opioid painkillers for primary chronic back pain due to the risk of dependence and addiction.
I am currently taking 100mg of Oxycodone, and have been on 240mg previously, weaned down by my GP over the last year. My GP wants to continue this reduction in light of this guidance.
My position is that the medication is beneficial to me, and I am already dependent. The guidance focuses on new patients, not those already recovering treatment.
How should I approach a conversation with my GP about staying on my medication? I am thinking about explaining I am already dependent, I have been taking this medication for years with no ill effects and no dangerous events. Why stop it when it allows me to work and have a normal life?
Any advice would be appreciated.

hey everyone! I (20F) got my gallbladder removed yesterday so I thought I'd just say how I'm doing one day post-op and take you through my surgery day step by step, hopefully it might make some pre-op people feel calmer ahead of the surgery!
Firstly I'd like to say you guys are awesome!! I had so many kind comments on my previous post and I appreciate all of the kind words and luck being sent my way, it really does make you feel supported.
One day post-op I'm doing good! There's definitely some soreness and swelling but nothing akin to what I had imagined it might feel like. The pain was a bit worse when I woke up, simply because I hadn't taken any painkillers since I went to sleep and they started wearing off. The most pain I feel right now is getting in and out of bed for small walks, but once I'm settled down it's a lot better. The first two times I got out of bed I did feel a bit dizzy and nauseous and needed to lay back down, but each time since then I've felt fine, just slightly unsteady. I've also had very minimal gas/shoulder pain, so I'm feeling quite lucky there.
Since my surgery (yesterday afternoon to today afternoon) I've eaten: parsnip soup with a warm bread roll, apple juice, sugar free orange jelly, some cucumber sushi rolls with salmon nigiri, chicken and lentil soup, soreen malt loaf, a banana, a cinnamon and raisin bagel with honey, some more chicken and lentil soup with tomato and jalapeño bread, and some raspberry sugar free jelly! With those I've had absolutely no tummy upset or problems. I haven't had a BM yet so I'm thinking about taking some of the laxative medicine that I was given at the hospital, but might save that till tomorrow.
Overall the pain and post-op experience is nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be, and I'm really thankful for that! One thing I was worried about was sleeping on my back because I'm a side sleeper but it was quite easy to fall asleep after so much happening in one day. I put a pillow under my knees which I think made things a bit easier on my stomach.
Now a rundown of my surgery day! I think it's important to note that my surgery was done at a private UK hospital, which is probably a different experience than going through the NHS. If I didn't have places I needed to be in March I would have waited and gone through the NHS, but I'm on a bit of a deadline with my recovery. If you're in the UK and want a few more details on where I went and which surgeon I chose I'd be happy to receive any messages!!
6:00am: Woke up at 6 so that I could have a shower as instructed by the hospital
6:45am: Left my hotel to get to the hospital for 7am
7:00am: Got to the hospital and signed in at the front desk. Then I took a seat and waited for my name to be called. When I was called a lady escorted me and my parents to my private room.
Inside my room there was a cardboard bedpan with my gown and disposable underwear tucked inside waiting on the hospital table. After we got in we watched TV for a bit and someone came to take my post-op lunch order. There was a selection of soup, sandwiches, wraps, drinks, and dessert. Then the anaesthetist came to see me. He asked me a few questions and a bit about my medical history (ex: if I had asthma) as well as family medical history related to anaesthesia, for example my mum experiences tachycardia due to general anaesthetic. I let him know I was nervous about getting the cannula in as I've not had the best experiences with cannulas before and he told me to make sure to call for a nurse and she would get me some numbing cream.
The next person to see me was my surgeon. He just came in to say hello and take me through what he would be doing in the surgery. He was very good at explaining everything and gave me a chance to ask questions. I also signed a consent form to say that I was aware of all the risks and consented to getting the surgery done.
After he left the nurse came to see me to do a general rundown, instructed me to get into the gown and disposable underwear and to pee in the bedpan to do a pregnancy test (routine test). After I did that she came back with the numbing cream. I got it on the back of both of my hands and both of my inner arms because you never really know exactly where the cannula is going to go! I was also measured for and given some compression socks which she brought with the numbing cream. She also told me what time my surgery might be as I believe there were 3 other surgeries happening that day. She said that mine was around 9-something in the morning but I think they ended up taking me to theatre around 11:30am instead, which didn't bother me as I know the schedule changes sometimes. After she left I just laid in my bed and watched TV until someone came to take me to theatre.
Someone from the anaesthetist team came to my room and told me it was time to go. I was given a dressing gown to wear and forgot to bring slippers so I just wore my converse. We walked to a small room outside the theatre where my dressing gown and shoes got put in a bag, and I was asked to lay down on a bed that was there. Then I just chatted to the team as they got me ready. I had some sticky things attached to my side and chest so that I could be monitored during the surgery and I had the stickers holding the numbing cream taken off and wiped away. One of the team squeezed my wrist whilst the head anaesthetist got me to squeeze my hand over and over again, then the cannula went in! It didn't hurt but I did feel it go in. Then he started putting things into the cannula straight away, I didn't even know they were putting me to sleep until I started feeling weird and groggy. After that he put an oxygen mask on me and I'm pretty sure I was still talking as I fell asleep 😭
I don't remember falling asleep at all, because I didn't know I was being put to sleep, so next thing I knew I was waking up! I woke up in a separate area with an oxygen mask on and someone by my side monitoring me. Apparently I had woken up previously thrashing about due to having the tube in my throat, which you have to be awake to have removed, but I have ABSOLUTELY no memory of that due to the anaesthesia, so chances are if you're worried about that you should be okay! That was honestly what I was most worried about before surgery because the thought of waking up with a tube in my throat scared me but I genuinely have no recollection of that. My brother in law is an anaesthetist and he said it's very common for that to happen! I did end up needing to be monitored for a bit longer because I had tachycardia, apparently at one point my heart rate went up to 152bpm, but the anaesthetist came to see me and was happy with how I was doing at 120bpm so I was allowed to go back to my room.
One thing I remember while I was in that area was that I had a blood pressure cuff on that would take my blood pressure every few minutes. I was also given some fentanyl and oxycodone through my cannula whilst I was there which made my nose really itchy and I kept having to take my oxygen mask off to scratch my nose. Also coming out of the anaesthesia is quite a weird feeling, very groggy and confusing, and I would feel like falling asleep but my body kept jolting me back awake, so I just chatted with the lady looking after me, she was very lovely and she brought me some water for my throat. I also saw my surgeon who gave me some of my gallstones in a little tub! I was happy about that because I had wanted to take some home. I was given 5 but I don't think that was all of them, they might have kept a couple for testing or something. They look a bit like baby corn😭
My parents said I got back to the room around 2pm I think, as I had been in the post-op area for a while after my surgery due to the tachycardia. After I got back I finally got to eat after fasting from 1am the night before. I was given parsnip soup with a bread roll which was absolutely delicious, as well as some jelly and apple juice. I stayed in my room for a while longer just to come down from the anaesthetic. My nurse would come in every so often to check my heart rate and blood pressure, which was going down slowly. When you need the bathroom you have to call a nurse to come and help you, the first time I tried to go with the nurse I got very dizzy and had to lay back down and wait for a while. The second time was better, still unsteady but I managed to get to the toilet without too much hassle.
After that the nurse was happy with my heart rate and having stood up and been to the bathroom so I was allowed to go home! She took my cannula out and changed the dressing of the incision just above my bellybutton as it was quite soaked with blood. After that my mum helped me get changing into my clothes and my dad went to get someone with a wheelchair to take me to the front as I was still quite unsteady on my feet. Then I got in the car and did the hour drive home!
So that was my experience! Everything has been good so far and I'm really grateful for the care I received, I genuinely think I had the best surgeon possible to do my surgery. If anyone has any questions I would be so happy to answer them! I hope my post helps to paint a picture for what your surgery day might look like. There is absolutely nothing to be scared of, this was my first surgery and it is so much more chill than you think it's going to be, and there will always be someone there to help you.
Thanks! :)

I was in Cancun back in May 2023 for a week with my wife and parents enjoying our vacation and eating tons of delicious foods but two days before it was time to fly back I felt a pain growing under my ribs right next to my liver. I was laying in bed thinking it’s probably trapped gas from all the food I ate but the pain kept getting worse! I tried multiple positions of laying down but nothing worked. I got out of bed without waking anyone up and I walked back and forth within the Airbnb but nothing helped and my anxiety started to kick in thinking I would need to go to an ER in a foreign country. I woke my wife up and explaining what was happening, she immediately gave me ibuprofen 200mg and I took about 8, after an hour the pain went down enough for me to fall asleep. Two months later I had another gallbladder attack (about 2 hours) after I ate a big steak. This time the pain lasted for 6 hours and it took almost 10 200mg ibuprofen to lower it down. I spoke to a few family members and friends who have had gallstones and they let me know I might have them.
For the next few months I tried running every day, lifting and eating very low fat foods, I also tried natural remedies to get rid of the gallstones. This caused me to lose about 35 pounds. Sometime in November 2023 after eating a lean low fat meal I started getting a horrible sharp pain right on the top center of my abdomen! Within 1-2 min the pain went from 0-100! I was so bloated and the pain spread all over my abdomen and back making hard to breathe. I figured a stone must’ve come out of my gallbladder and got stuck in my pancreas. This pain was 10 times worse than a gallbladder pain under my ribs I had gotten before. Idk how I figured this out but I immediately went outside to my backyard and I started jogging. After 10 min of jogging the pain started going down to the point it was gone like if some turned off a switch. From November 2023 to the end of December 2023 this happened about 15 times and every time I would jog for about 10 min and pain would go away. I was so traumatized by this pain that as soon as I felt the sensation of it coming I would stop what I was doing and I would immediately go outside and start running! During this time I saw a doctor, got an ultrasound and she confirmed I had extensive amount of stones and I needed surgery. I scheduled my surgery for 01/25/2024 to have it removed but two weeks before my surgery I got Covid and I was worried I would need to reschedule but luckily I felt better after week. The weekend before my surgery a stone came out again (first time in January) and this one was worse! I tried jogging like before but the pain was so bad I couldn’t jog anymore so I just walked in a circle in my backyard and I prayed to god so many times asking him to help me endure this pain and to help me make it to my surgery day. After walking out in the cold dark backyard for an hour the stone passed and the pain was gone.
I’m a very anxious 29 year old male who was scared of doctors, hospitals, surgeries and didn’t look for help and waited until things escalated. The night before surgery I was super anxious I couldn’t sleep and stayed up all night praying to god for courage because I felt like I was going to chicken out and not go through with the surgery but I remember the surgery won’t be 1/4 as bad as passing a gallstone and/or gallbladder attack. I was scheduled to be at the hospital by 6am. They checked me into a room and had me put on my hospital gown. Later on my anesthesiologist walked in and after speaking to him I told him, “I’m going to be honest, I didn’t sleep all night because I’m super anxious right now” he smiled and said, “don’t worry I will give something that will make it go away and you won’t even remember this conversation”. 10 min before my surgery he walked in and injected something into my IV and within a min I felt so relaxed and all my worries went away! No anxiety and I actually felt calm and happy going into the operating room. He put a mask over my face and told me to breathe a couple times and the he said I’m injecting anesthesia into your IV now, within a few seconds later I blinked and I was waking up in the recovery room with my wife helping change to go home. I woke up feeling like I had a hangover but drunk at the same time. I’ve seen some videos were people wake up acting dumb but for me I was able to control my thoughts and actions even though I felt very slow and I couldn’t react fast enough to my surroundings. The doc prescribed some Oxy’s and I’ve been managing the pain with Ibuprofen and Tylenol once I ran out. I was constipated for about a week due to the Oxycodone so I took some laxatives and I’ve been having normal bowel movements ever since. I’m about two weeks post op and I still have some abdominal pain and discomfort due to the surgery but my doctor said it can take up to 6 weeks to feel close to 100%
Looking back at this journey the only regret I have it not visiting the doc and getting the surgery sooner! The mind makes things 100 times worse in your head than what it really is. None of the scary things I imagined happen and now I feel like a new person full of life!

Hi everyone, First and foremost...I am so sorry you all are in chronic pain. I'm a mom of a 28 year old son who has suffered way too much. I thought finally after 6 years of pain and finally performing L5S1 TLIF in May last year, that it would all be behind him by now. But it's not. Not even close. He doesn't want to live with this pain any longer. He's defeated. He did PT for a bit along with aqua therapy. It was a three hour from start to finish journey. It was way to much. Got him a new referral to just PT literally 2 minutes from our home. No pool there, but at least PT. This was two weeks ago that he got the referral from his pain management doctor. He said he's done. He can't do it. Mentally he's checking out. All options have been given. Second opinion, in patient PT at a great rehab facility, mental health help, told him I'd pursue ketemine infusion if he wants. The list goes on. This beautiful man may not be here this time next year. My heart breaks, not only for him, but for all of you. People should not have to suffer. He gets pain meds, 10mg oxycodone 4x per day, 9mg extampza ER 2x per day, and anti anxiety med and muscle relaxers. Reading all your stories about fighting for meds scares me. PM has been weaning down the ER tablet, oxy will be next. That will be the end. And honestly, I will be broken, but he and I have had some very tough conversations. I will understand. There truly is such limited help for you guys. And I'm so happy when I read the stories of people who get good pain relief. But those stories are few and far between. I wish there was something more that I could do. I've been his biggest cheerleader, his greatest advocate, his unrelenting support system. I don't know what else to do. Other than love him. I've learned so much from each and every one of you. I'd like to sincerely thank you all for your open and honest stories. You have helped me along the way. Just know that there's a lady out there in the Internet who values you all. And again, I'm so sorry for your having to endure your pain. It sucks.

I (24f) have been with my boyfriend (23m), or I guess now ex, for almost four years. Within this time he had began abusing a substances like Xanax, heroin, oxycodone, and even fentanyl. About a year and a half ago I was so disgusted by his behavior; getting arrested twice, 5150 four times, breaking shit, going missing at night, getting kicked out of an airport, shooting up between his toes on my family vacation etc. I essentially told him around 4th of July 2022 that I would be leaving to go stay with friends for four days to get away from him. When I came back there was soot in my carpet and my room was a mess. I told him that I couldn’t do it anymore which pushed him to do 30 days at a rehab in Louisiana (we both were living with parents in Northern California) and he went.
Fast forward to him graduating after 9 months in rehab and eventually finding a job in New Orleans at a sober living. I was so proud of him because I knew he never wanted to get clean. I was so happy in the relationship and he changed into a completely different person which was good to an extent. I loved him so much I was willing to look past all of the shit that I went though with him in the beginning and was so excited to move out to Louisiana to be with him while he was working out there. I still love him so much.
About 1 month ago we decided to end things due to long distance which is interesting because we had been discussing me moving out there very soon. He began to grow distant mostly because of work and managing his meetings, sponsor, and sponsees. Since he lives at the sober live house that he works at he’s on call 24/7. I began to get upset and fight with him because I would never hear from him and began getting maybe one text a day while waiting hours for him to respond to me.
He said he still wants to be in my life and is so appreciative of me and the things I’ve done for him, and that he still loves me and will always love me. He hopes that one day when he’s in a better position we can get together but rn he needs to focus on his sobriety because if that falls apart we fall apart. We still text and call almost everyday. Yesterday we had an hour long conversation where I had mentioned I would still love to move to New Orleans to be closer to him and to finally get out of my parents house, I also said that I wanted to get back together (embarrassing) . He reacted very negatively to this and said that it wouldn’t be a good idea and that he doesn’t want me to resent him for not being able to spend time with me if I moved out there.
Naturally, I was heart broken. When we called it off a month ago he said he still wanted me to move out there, and now he’s put off by the idea. I personally think no contact for the time being would be best for me but he still insists on being in each others lives because he’s afraid that if we don’t speak that we will never end up together in the future. I’m so confused by everything and don’t know if I should continue to respond to him. I love him dearly and don’t want to let him go, however I don’t think he’ll realize what he’s lost if he hasn’t fully lost it. I know this makes me sound like a dumb bitch and that I’m stupid for continuing to give him chances buuut at the same time idgaf I’m a romantic OKAY. In the same breath sos help I need advice! Has anyone been through something similar while in a relationship with an addict? I never use Reddit but after googling “how can a man go to rehab to save your relationship and then break up with you once he’s sober Reddit” and not finding anything I thought I would post lmao.

As the title says, found out I've got familial adenomatous polyposis in October, and just had my IRA colectomy 1/16.
When I found out, I was terrified - just like most of us I imagine. My GI said I had so many polyps that he quit counting after 100.
If I can help or answer any questions I'd be so happy to be the resource that I didn't have, or know that existed.
Notes on my experience
Surgery went about as smooth as humanly possible, laproscopic, and I was fortunate enough to have arguably a top 3 colorectal surgeon worldwide - Dr. Stephen Wexner, Cleveland Clinic Weston, FL. Cannot possibly recommend him enough.
OR was booked for 6 hours, surgery took approximately 6 hours. 4 port incisions on abdomen, and one umbilical incision where the colon was removed.
Woke up, minimal pain but presumably on enough narcotics to put down a large animal. Pain increased as time went on, called for Dilaudid/oxycodone as often as it was available. Was able to walk with assistance 100ft. by approximately 10pm that night - no bowel movements.
Following day had first bowel movement, was mostly residual bright red blood from the surgery, followed by two more identical movements - incredibly alarming, but relatively routine.
Pain consistently at a 7/10, at this point moved from NPO to liquid diet, followed by GI Soft that evening. Still no bowel movements, surgical team began to suspect that I had an ileus - meaning the bowels hadn't woken up properly. Incredibly bloated and gastric pain reached a level of 10.
At this time I was intubated with an NG tube to pump out the leftover bile and gastric contents for two days, at which point my ileus subsided and my bowels began to wake up after 1200ml of bile was pumped out. This by far was the most challenging part of the experience - having a tube down your throat while conscious for 48 hours isn't something I'd wish on my worst enemy.
Pain levels are diminishing to bearable 5/10 levels by day 4, at this point I no longer needed narcotics & could consistently walk the floor every few hours.
They held me for an additional 5 days to monitor a consistent low grade fever, and I was released on the 25th.
On the 24th something clicked, and I was no longer shambling around the floor, but could walk unassisted, without an IV pole even and felt as close to normal as I could possibly imagine.
I've been home nearly 2 weeks now, movement that requires abdominal muscles is still incredibly taxing, but gets better every day. Bowel movements are levelling out from 12-15 at the hospital to about 5-8 per day now that I'm home.
It's really not that bad, to be honest. I'll never trust a fart again for the rest of my life I think though.
You can easily tell when you have a bowel movement coming, and can even hold it off for as long as you need, within reason. I've no fear of soiling myself and honestly the 5-8 movements I'm having a day aren't that much more than 3-6 movements I was having pre-surgery.
There's a very brief window where it is extremely challenging, the first 72 hours after the procedure you can't even pull yourself up to go to the bathroom - but, after that it's smooth sailing honestly.
I hope this helps, I know how scary it is going into such a life changing situation and not knowing what to expect, but I'm here to let you know that it's going to be okay.
More notes about my specific case, I'm a very fortunate FAP case - many people with the disease present with cancer at a very young age, 16-25. I'm 33 and out of the hundreds of polyps through my colon none were even pre-cancerous, my rectum was left intact and has 1 polyp which will be removed and biopsied in a few weeks via sigmoidoscopy. Which I will have to have ideally every 6-12 months for the rest of my life - with a potential J-Pouch conversion procedure if polyps continue to develop in the rectum at an alarming rate, but that is not expected based on the fact there's only 1 at my current age.
Feel free to ask me anything & I wish you all the very best - you got this!
Cross-posted in the other relevant sub-reddits*

As the title says, found out I've got familial adenomatous polyposis in October, and just had my IRA colectomy 1/16.
When I found out, I was terrified - just like most of us I imagine. My GI said I had so many polyps that he quit counting after 100.
If I can help or answer any questions I'd be so happy to be the resource that I didn't have, or know that existed.
Notes on my experience
Surgery went about as smooth as humanly possible, laproscopic, and I was fortunate enough to have arguably a top 3 colorectal surgeon worldwide - Dr. Stephen Wexner, Cleveland Clinic Weston, FL. Cannot possibly recommend him enough.
OR was booked for 6 hours, surgery took approximately 6 hours. 4 port incisions on abdomen, and one umbilical incision where the colon was removed.
Woke up, minimal pain but presumably on enough narcotics to put down a large animal. Pain increased as time went on, called for Dilaudid/oxycodone as often as it was available. Was able to walk with assistance 100ft. by approximately 10pm that night - no bowel movements.
Following day had first bowel movement, was mostly residual bright red blood from the surgery, followed by two more identical movements - incredibly alarming, but relatively routine.
Pain consistently at a 7/10, at this point moved from NPO to liquid diet, followed by GI Soft that evening. Still no bowel movements, surgical team began to suspect that I had an ileus - meaning the bowels hadn't woken up properly. Incredibly bloated and gastric pain reached a level of 10.
At this time I was intubated with an NG tube to pump out the leftover bile and gastric contents for two days, at which point my ileus subsided and my bowels began to wake up after 1200ml of bile was pumped out. This by far was the most challenging part of the experience - having a tube down your throat while conscious for 48 hours isn't something I'd wish on my worst enemy.
Pain levels are diminishing to bearable 5/10 levels by day 4, at this point I no longer needed narcotics & could consistently walk the floor every few hours.
They held me for an additional 5 days to monitor a consistent low grade fever, and I was released on the 25th.
On the 24th something clicked, and I was no longer shambling around the floor, but could walk unassisted, without an IV pole even and felt as close to normal as I could possibly imagine.
I've been home nearly 2 weeks now, movement that requires abdominal muscles is still incredibly taxing, but gets better every day. Bowel movements are levelling out from 12-15 at the hospital to about 5-8 per day now that I'm home.
It's really not that bad, to be honest. I'll never trust a fart again for the rest of my life I think though.
You can easily tell when you have a bowel movement coming, and can even hold it off for as long as you need, within reason. I've no fear of soiling myself and honestly the 5-8 movements I'm having a day aren't that much more than 3-6 movements I was having pre-surgery.
There's a very brief window where it is extremely challenging, the first 72 hours after the procedure you can't even pull yourself up to go to the bathroom - but, after that it's smooth sailing honestly.
I hope this helps, I know how scary it is going into such a life changing situation and not knowing what to expect, but I'm here to let you know that it's going to be okay.
More notes about my specific case, I'm a very fortunate FAP case - many people with the disease present with cancer at a very young age, 16-25. I'm 33 and out of the hundreds of polyps through my colon none were even pre-cancerous, my rectum was left intact and has 1 polyp which will be removed and biopsied in a few weeks via sigmoidoscopy. Which I will have to have ideally every 6-12 months for the rest of my life - with a potential J-Pouch conversion procedure if polyps continue to develop in the rectum at an alarming rate, but that is not expected based on the fact there's only 1 at my current age.
Feel free to ask me anything & I wish you all the very best - you got this!
Cross-posted in the other relevant sub-reddits*

I am absolutely livid about this. We all know that regardless of what the FDA says, Mallinckrodt’s hydrocodone products are absolute trash. They don’t work at an equianalgesic level the way they should. They cause weird side effects that don’t make sense.
I had been just sucking this up and dealing with it. More pain than I should be experiencing. Bizarre GI side effects. Tinnitus (I already had it, but it’s making it worse). Urinary retention. Insomnia, though? Has anyone else experienced that?
I take the 7.5mg dosage. I’m used to getting inconsistent and unreliable pain relief from it. Over the past month, though, I’ve been experiencing progressively worse insomnia. I can find no other reason why, so I started to suspect it was something about the generic Norco.
7.5mg of hydrocodone is equivalent to 5mg of oxycodone. This is well established - or at least, it should be. I had that conversation with my doctor when I brought up the weirdness I was experiencing, and she agrees it should be equivalent. I’ve found that the Mallinckrodt Norco can be sedating during the day, but NOT at night. I’m well versed in the pharmacodynamics and pharmacokinetics of both medications. There shouldn’t be that much of a difference between what they do at accepted equianalgesic doses.
And yet…
Last night, after a week of being awake until 3 AM no matter what I tried to help, I switched out my bedtime dose for 5mg of oxycodone (I have it for breakthrough pain). I slept better than I have in months. My tinnitus was vastly better when I woke up this morning. What the hell is going on here?!? What is (or isn’t, in terms of there not being enough) in these pills? I’m going to talk to my PM doctor about switching to 5mg Percocet, and I don’t think she will have any issues with that. I do worry that I would be more susceptible to the shortages that way, but I have severe chronic pain that isn’t going to go away and sleep is very important. I’ve been needlessly suffering from sleep deprivation.
Something isn’t right here. I think they need to be dragged into court again, but this time for poisoning us with whatever adulterants, impurities, leftover reagents from manufacturing, etc are in these pills. Is anyone aware of a law firm pursuing such a case?