https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9240103/

Patterns of Gender-Based Violence in Conflict-Affected Ukraine: A Descriptive Analysis of Internally Displaced and Local Women Receiving Psychosocial Services

Arbitrary Displacement Is a Structural Rot that Hegemonizes Economic Abuse and with it Economic Collapse
Checkpoints for the displaced showed the most violence, literally predating on women when they were the most vulnerable by armed men.
Almost 8% of violent incidents against displaced women occurred at checkpoints or at reception centers for internally displaced persons (IDP) and 20% were perpetrated by armed men.
Majority of Ukrainian female respondents described their household economic situation as bad or very bad (59%)
A survey of internally displaced persons (IDPs) in Ukraine found that a majority of respondents described their household economic situation as bad or very bad (59%), and only 22% held regular employment (Roberts et al., 2017).
Women fleeing violence are most likely to be exposed to sexually violent men exactly at the moments they were most expecting protection. This suggests a pattern of men who watch for the female victims of their enemies, and then violate them when they come to them, simply out of nationalist/ethnicist hate crime, with no care about their status as a victim.
Meta-analytic findings estimate a 21% prevalence of sexual violence among female refugees and IDPs (Vu et al., 2014).
A 2014 national survey conducted shortly after the start of the conflict found that 19% of 15–49 year old women had experienced violence since the age of 15 compared to 17% in 2007 (Martsenyuk et al., 2014).
Displaced women were more likely to experience sexual violence
Furthermore, we hypothesized that among GBV survivors: 1) proportionally more violent acts against displaced women would be non-domestic and associated with combat operations (i.e., demobilized and active governmental and non-governmental soldiers); 2) displaced women would be more likely to experience sexual violence than local women; and 3) patterns of reporting and referrals would differ depending on a woman’s residency status.
UN Women’s Framework for emergency response and preparedness (UN Women, 2013) was used
The adaptation process followed the recommendations of the GBV-IMS Rollout Guidelines (UNFPA, n.d.) and the UN Women’s Framework for emergency response and preparedness (UN Women, 2013), and entailed piloting the tool with several mobile teams and incorporating the feedback from the field.
Definition of internally displaced person
Ukrainian law defines an internally displaced person as “a citizen of Ukraine, a foreigner or a stateless person who is in the territory of Ukraine legally and has the right to reside permanently in Ukraine, and who was forced to leave his place of residence due to armed conflict, temporary occupation, widespread violence, human rights violations or emergencies of natural or man-made nature” (On Ensuring the Rights and Freedoms of Internally Displaced Persons, 2014).
Forced marriage with economic abuse followed with rape and sexual assault
Determination of GBV type was made by mobile team members using the GBV-IMS classification tool (UNFPA et al., 2011). The form instructs providers to select only one GBV type per case based on a series of questions asked in a specific order, as follows: 1) rape (if any type of penetration occurred); 2) sexual assault (if there was unwanted sexual contact); 3) physical assault (if there was physical battery); 4) forced marriage; 5) economic violence (in cases of denial of resources, opportunities, or services); 6) psychological or emotional abuse (if the incident involved insults, name-calling, and humiliation); and 7) no GBV (if none of the above). If, for example, a woman reported experiencing unwanted sexual contact, the provider would classify the case as “sexual assault” and continue to the following section.
One in five women who experienced violence were unemployed, showing these violent perpetrators may keep their victims from employment or sabotage their employment purposefully to put them in harm’s way.
More than one in five (21.6%) women who experienced violence were unemployed, with no differences between the groups. Overall, slightly less than one-third (30.7%) of the women engaged in unpaid labor such as elder and childcare, with significantly higher proportions among local women. Proportionally more displaced women had a professional occupation (24.6% vs. 20.0%, p<0.001).
78.3% of women reported that a man raped them. Half of the women reported psychological abuse in addition, showing many rapists are psychologically abusive before and after as a tell-tale sign.
More than three-quarters (78.3%) of women reported that a man was the perpetrator. In nearly half of the cases, the perpetrator was an intimate partner (49.5%); and in roughly one in five (21.8%) a family member. Psychological abuse (48.4%) was reported by almost half of the women (See Table 2).
Compared to local women, proportionally more displaced women reported an incident of rape or sexual abuse (3.1% vs. 2.1%, p<0.001) or economic abuse (23.4% vs. 14.4%, p<0.001).
Gender based violence affects one million women annually in Ukraine
GBV is a grave human rights violation that affects an estimated one million women annually in Ukraine (Barrett et al., 2012). Social disruption and frail economic conditions in humanitarian settings further aggravate women’s vulnerability to violence, particularly for displaced women (Stark & Ager, 2011; Stark et al., 2017). This analysis supports our primary hypothesis that the experience of violence differs by survivors’ residency status. Specifically, we found differences in terms of relationship to the perpetrator, type of violence experienced and access to care between local and displaced women.
Checkpoints, or borderlines, nebulous zones of power shifts were huge points of violence to Ukrainian women, showing power shifts are often signaled by violence, especially to the most vulnerable.
Notably, 20.0% of displaced women in our sample experienced violence at the hands of armed men compared to 5.3% of local women. We also found that checkpoints between government-controlled and non-government–controlled areas and IDP reception centers posed a particular risk for displaced women in our study.
38% more displaced women reported experiencing sexual violence than local women, meaning people were actively preying on people who were displaced, not protecting them. This shows Ukrainian women are at huge risk of opportunistic rape by the very men pretending to be safe.
Whereas sexual violence was the least common type of reported violence, 38% more displaced women reported experiencing sexual violence than local women.
Ukrainian women come from a long history of corrupt police, so they did not report to the police because the police do not work for them and never have. That is not their fault; it is their country and area’s fault.
Studies in conflict-affected Ukraine found that a majority of survivors were unwilling to report GBV incidents to the police, particularly among internally displaced women (UCSR, 2018).
Because of this violence around the very people that were supposed to protect them, Ukrainian women are less likely to file a police report. Displaced women were even more unlikely. It is an intelligent decision to not have a faith that has been factually and with evidence violated repeatedly.
we found that displaced women were less than half as likely than local women to have filed a police report.
Younger women seek gender based violence services more than older women, showing Ukrainian women are often being targeted for their fertility and not receiving justice can help them remain to be seen as a fertility commodity instead of a human being, making European countries very wary of the nation seeing how their women are treated. Women's rights feature largely in European economic inclusion.
For example, among GBV survivors in Ukraine, younger women seek services for GBV more often than older women (41% of those aged 15–29 vs. 26% those aged 40–49) (Martsenyuk et al., 2014). Therefore, this analysis is not representative of all women experiencing violence.
Domestic violence within the ranks of the warring country increased during war for Ukrainian women, instead of coming together in solidarity and mutual support
Studies in complex emergency settings have found stigma among GBV survivors, normalization of domestic violence during times of conflict, unwillingness to report men living in the home for fear of forced military recruitment, and reluctance to involve law enforcement as major reporting barriers, especially among displaced women survivors of violence (Ager et al., 2018; Stark & Ager, 2011).
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9240103/

The mythical references within tarot cards provide a rich tapestry of symbolism, drawing upon ancient myths to convey universal archetypes and timeless themes. Here are a few examples of how mythology influences the symbolism in the tarot deck:

1. The Fool:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Fool is reminiscent of the archetypal "wise fool" found in various mythologies, symbolizing innocence, spontaneity, and the journey into the unknown.
   • Connection: Similar to the trickster figures in mythology, The Fool embodies the idea of embracing unconventional paths and unexpected adventures.
2. The High Priestess:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The High Priestess reflects the archetype of the mysterious and wise female figure found in many ancient myths and religious traditions, such as the Greek goddess Persephone or the Egyptian goddess Isis.
   • Connection: Like these mythical figures, The High Priestess embodies intuition, hidden knowledge, and the link between the conscious and unconscious realms.
3. The Emperor:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Emperor draws on the archetype of powerful rulers in myths, like King Arthur or Zeus, symbolizing authority, structure, and leadership.
   • Connection: Reflects the mythic theme of order and governance, emphasizing the need for structure and discipline in achieving goals.
4. The Lovers:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Lovers card resonates with mythical love stories such as the tales of Eros and Psyche or Tristan and Isolde, symbolizing profound connections, choices, and the merging of opposites.
   • Connection: Like these myths, The Lovers card explores the transformative power of love and the decisions that shape one's relationships.
5. The Wheel of Fortune:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The concept of the wheel of fate or fortune is rooted in ancient mythology, such as the Moirai or Fates in Greek mythology, who spin the thread of destiny.
   • Connection: The Wheel of Fortune embodies the cyclical nature of life, the inevitability of change, and the interconnectedness of events.
6. The Tower:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Tower's destructive force echoes myths of divine punishment, like the story of the Tower of Babel or the fall of Icarus, highlighting the consequences of hubris.
   • Connection: Represents the mythic theme of downfall and rebirth, emphasizing the transformative power of destruction and rebuilding.

By incorporating these mythical references, tarot cards tap into the collective unconscious, allowing individuals to connect with archetypal energies and universal narratives that resonate across cultures and time periods.

1. The Hermit:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The archetype of the wise hermit is seen in myths like the journey of Odysseus or the quest for enlightenment in Eastern philosophies.
   • Connection: The Hermit reflects the introspective journey of self-discovery, seeking wisdom through solitude and inner reflection, much like mythical hermits on spiritual quests.
2. The Chariot:
   
   • Mythical Reference: Draws inspiration from heroic charioteers in myths, such as the sun god Apollo driving his chariot across the sky or heroic figures like Achilles in battle chariots.
   • Connection: Symbolizes the triumphant journey, willpower, and the harnessing of opposing forces to achieve victory, akin to mythical heroes overcoming challenges.
3. The Star:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Star card echoes the concept of guiding celestial lights found in myths, like the North Star guiding sailors or the myth of the Star of Bethlehem.
   • Connection: Represents hope, inspiration, and divine guidance, mirroring the mythic idea of celestial symbols leading the way through darkness.
4. The Moon:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Moon card reflects lunar symbolism found in myths, such as the various lunar deities like Selene in Greek mythology or the werewolf tales associated with lunar cycles.
   • Connection: Symbolizes the subconscious, intuition, and the mysterious aspects of the psyche, akin to the mystical and transformative elements linked to lunar myths.
5. The Sun:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Sun card embodies solar deities in myths, like the Egyptian god Ra or the Greek god Apollo, symbolizing vitality, enlightenment, and life force.
   • Connection: Represents the joyous, life-affirming energy associated with solar myths, bringing clarity, positivity, and the promise of a new day.
6. Judgement:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The theme of judgment and resurrection is prevalent in various religious and mythological narratives, such as the concept of divine judgment in Christianity or the Egyptian myth of Osiris being judged in the afterlife.
   • Connection: Signifies a spiritual awakening, self-evaluation, and the potential for rebirth, aligning with the transformative judgments seen in mythic tales.

Incorporating these mythical elements deepens the layers of meaning within tarot cards, allowing users to explore profound archetypes, cultural narratives, and universal themes that resonate across human experiences.

1. The Devil:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Devil card draws inspiration from various depictions of demonic figures in religious and mythological traditions, representing temptation, bondage, and the shadow aspects of human nature.
   • Connection: Reflects the mythic idea of confronting inner demons, acknowledging desires, and breaking free from self-imposed limitations.
2. The Empress and The Emperor (Pair):
   
   • Mythical Reference: These cards can be linked to archetypal figures in mythology, such as Earth Mother goddesses like Demeter or nurturing kings like Gilgamesh, symbolizing fertility, abundance, and earthly authority.
   • Connection: Together, they represent the balance of masculine and feminine energies, highlighting the harmonious interplay between creative and structured forces in the universe.
3. The Magician:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Magician card echoes the archetype of the alchemist or sorcerer in myths, embodying the transformative power of magic and the manipulation of elements.
   • Connection: Symbolizes personal empowerment, manifestation, and the ability to channel one's inner resources to create change, akin to mythical figures wielding magical abilities.
4. Death:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Death card is reminiscent of transformative figures in myths, like the phoenix rising from its ashes or the Hindu god Shiva, symbolizing destruction as a precursor to renewal.
   • Connection: Represents profound change, letting go of the old, and embracing transformation, aligning with the cyclical nature of death and rebirth in mythical narratives.
5. Justice:
   
   • Mythical Reference: Justice is often associated with mythic representations of divine or cosmic balance, such as the Greek goddess Themis or the concept of Ma'at in Egyptian mythology.
   • Connection: Symbolizes fairness, accountability, and the cosmic order, reflecting the mythic theme of moral equilibrium and the consequences of actions.
6. Strength:
   
   • Mythical Reference: Strength draws from mythical tales of heroes demonstrating inner strength and courage, like Hercules or the Norse god Thor.
   • Connection: Symbolizes resilience, fortitude, and the ability to overcome challenges through inner strength, akin to the heroic feats in mythical stories.

These mythical connections deepen the layers of symbolism in tarot cards, allowing users to tap into archetypal energies and narratives that have resonated across cultures and centuries. Each card becomes a gateway to timeless themes and universal truths found in the rich tapestry of mythology.

1. The Hierophant:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Hierophant can be associated with mythic figures representing wisdom and spiritual guidance, such as the ancient Greek philosopher-sage Pythagoras or the biblical high priest Melchizedek.
   • Connection: Symbolizes spiritual teachings, tradition, and the transmission of sacred knowledge, aligning with the mythical archetype of wise mentors who pass on profound wisdom.
2. The Hanged Man:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Hanged Man card reflects the concept of voluntary sacrifice found in various myths, such as the Norse god Odin hanging from the World Tree Yggdrasil to gain wisdom.
   • Connection: Signifies surrender, letting go, and gaining new perspectives through sacrifice, mirroring the transformative nature of voluntary sacrifice in mythic narratives.
3. The World:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The World card draws from cosmological myths, representing the completion of a cycle and the attainment of enlightenment, similar to the Hindu concept of Moksha or the Norse myth of the World Tree Yggdrasil.
   • Connection: Symbolizes cosmic harmony, integration, and the culmination of a journey, resonating with the mythical themes of cosmic order and spiritual fulfillment.
4. The Fool's Journey:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Fool's Journey through the tarot deck can be compared to the archetypal hero's journey found in mythologies worldwide, where the hero undergoes trials, encounters mentors, and ultimately achieves personal transformation.
   • Connection: Mirrors the universal mythic narrative of self-discovery, challenges, and growth, illustrating that each individual's journey aligns with the archetypal hero's quest seen in myths across cultures.

These mythical associations with tarot cards contribute to the depth and universality of their symbolism. They enable users to connect with ancient wisdom, archetypal stories, and cultural narratives that transcend time, offering a rich and meaningful framework for personal introspection and spiritual exploration within the tarot.

1. The Suit of Cups:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Suit of Cups, representing emotions and relationships, echoes the theme of sacred vessels or grails in mythology, such as the Holy Grail in Arthurian legends or the Cup of Jamshid in Persian mythology.
   • Connection: Reflects the idea of emotional fulfillment, spiritual connection, and the quest for inner nourishment akin to the mythical pursuit of sacred vessels symbolizing divine presence.
2. The Suit of Swords:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Suit of Swords, associated with intellect and challenges, can be likened to mythic tales of powerful swords like Excalibur in Arthurian legend or the celestial sword Kusanagi in Japanese mythology.
   • Connection: Symbolizes the power of thought, truth, and the ability to cut through illusions, aligning with the mythical theme of legendary swords representing clarity and decisive action.
3. The Suit of Wands:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Suit of Wands, embodying creativity and passion, resonates with mythical symbols of magical staffs or wands, like the staff of Hermes or the Celtic druid's wand.
   • Connection: Represents the creative spark, inspiration, and the transformative power of passion, akin to mythical symbols of magical wands as conduits for creative energy.
4. The Suit of Pentacles:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The Suit of Pentacles, associated with material aspects and prosperity, draws inspiration from mythical symbols of earthly treasures, such as the legendary city of El Dorado or the philosopher's stone in alchemical myths.
   • Connection: Symbolizes material stability, abundance, and the tangible rewards of one's efforts, mirroring the mythical pursuit of wealth and the alchemical quest for transformative treasures.
5. Tarot and Alchemy:
   
   • Mythical Reference: The connection between tarot and alchemy reflects the mythical pursuit of the philosopher's stone—an elusive substance believed to transform base metals into gold and grant immortality.
   • Connection: Mirrors the transformative journey within tarot, where users seek self-discovery, personal growth, and the alchemical process of inner refinement.

In exploring these connections, tarot cards become a bridge between personal introspection and the collective wisdom embedded in ancient myths. The intertwining of mythical references within the tarot deck adds layers of meaning, providing a profound and universal language for individuals to navigate their inner landscapes and spiritual journeys.

The following is an original work of fan fiction. It will only make sense if you’ve read Corpies and SP4
“Fucking bullshit cock-garglers!” Hannah, formerly known as Hexcellent, uttered louder than she intended.
Luckily, she was sitting by herself in a third floor private room in the brand new wing of the Sizemore undergraduate library. On the main floor, any sound louder than a fart would’ve earned a collective, “shhhhh,” and annoyed stares from half the people studying. And frankly, as difficult as these Gen Chem practice exams were, the former PEERS would be spitting out a few more expletives before she was done.
Hannah glanced at her watch and sighed heavily. It was 4:43 PM. She still had two and a half hours before she’d need to head to the lift to meet Devon and Kacey, two other first year HCP students, for some evening training. Okay, you got this girl. You just fucked up some amped criminal supers, you can handle goddamn mass to mole composition formula and stoichiom-whatever-the-fuck, she thought to herself. With resigned determination, the HCP student began swiping through class presentation slides on her tablet, reviewing problems she had trouble with. For a solid 2 hours her eyes never left the material and she honestly started to feel more comfortable with what she needed to know. Hannah was in the zone. That was until she was interrupted by a knock on the door.
“What. The actual. Fuck?“ Hannah said slowly as she looked up towards the door and the adjacent window.
The summoner saw two boys standing outside, one of whom was a short muscular guy with dark brown hair that she recognized. She was fairly certain his name was Lucas, and that he was another HCP first year. He was in the alternative class though, while Hannah was in combat, so they hadn’t been around each other a whole hell of a lot. The other seemed familiar, but she couldn’t put her finger or on where she’d seen him before. They were each moving their mouths, and pointing a finger at themselves and into the room clearly asking if they could come in. Hannah got up and opened the door.
“Hey, Helen, right? You think that we can study in here with you? All the good tables downstairs are full. I just met Tristan here and he’s in the same predicament as me,” said Lucas before he lowered his voice to a whisper, leaned his head in, and pointed to the boy he referred to as Tristan. “He’s in the same ummm…special program as us. In his 2nd year.”
With that information, Hannah realized where she’d seen that guy. He was at the freshman party hosted by the second years. She remembered thinking that he came off as kind of a douchebag by the way he was standing around, nursing the same drink with a smug look on his face the whole time.
“Yeah, sure, whatever. As long as you guys dont act like complete assholes and make a bunch of noise. I gotta focus for about another 30 minutes then the room is yours. Cool?”
“Cool,” the boys said in unison.
“And it’s Hannah by the way. Not Helen. You’re Lucas, right?” She held out her hand towards him.
Lucas politely shook her hand. “Sorry about that Hannah. I’m terrible at remembering names,” he said with a slight shrug. “Just gonna grab a seat on this side so I can stay outta your way.” He held out his arm towards the opposite side of the table from where Hannah had been sitting and started walking over there.
Tristan walked in and closed the door behind himself. He gave Hannah a simple head nod and smirk but never formerly introduced himself. Very similar to his demeanor at the party; as though he couldn’t be bothered.
Yep, arrogant douche, she thought. Then she pictured the look of surprise on the 2nd year’s face if she were to manifest her big furry friend to accidentally-on-purpose kick him in the balls.
Hannah had often wondered if anyone in the HCP realized her summon was the same giant bunny that helped save Brewster almost a year ago. Titan had told her the DVA would hide any association between the tower-sized rabbit and her PEERS persona but she figured that once classmates saw her summon for the first time they’d make the connection. That didn’t seem to be the case though, at least as far as she knew. It helped that when she summoned Hopcules these days, he was about the same height and stature as Titan. None of her combat training took place outside yet, so no one in HCP got to see her manifestation at his full potential size. He’d also taken on more humanistic facial expressions lately and had been appearing in a variety of different clothes and accessories. Hell, the last time she trained with Kacey, the hulking rabbit materialized in a denim vest, a blue bandanna on his head, metal spiked leather bracelets around his wrists, brass knuckles, and with gold chains around his neck. Kacey couldn’t stop laughing during their sparring session until Hopcules had her bound and hog tied. Even with her enhanced strength, she couldn’t break free of what evidently weren’t just plain gold necklaces. It hadn’t dawned on Hannah until later that, the night before, she’d fallen asleep to an old 80s action flick about a renegade cop taking on a vicious street gang. She wondered if tonight her childhood protector would show up in a lab coat, holding a periodic table. The Sizemore freshman briefly shook her head to snap herself out of her thoughts and sat down to resume her work. She’d gotten fully back into her study mode until…
“Yo, does sound carry out of this room?” Tristan asked.
“Seriously?! You do remember that whole bit about NOT being obnoxious assholes, right?”Hannah asked incredulously.
“Damn girl chill. I just wanted to ask my guy here a question and didn’t want to risk being overheard. You should smile more girl. You know what I mean?“
Relax. Breathe. You don’t want to be seen as a troublemaker. It would not be a good idea to kick this fucker’s ass while inside of the school library. Or would it be? No. No. Definitely not a good idea, she thought to herself.
“Well unless you two were standing outside of here practicing at being mimes as a back up in case you don’t make it to graduation, I’m pretty sure this room is well insulated to sound.”
Tristan grunted in indignation and sarcastically replied, “you’re hilarious.”
“I’m definitely going all the way through. No way I won’t graduate,” Lucas chimed in, seemingly oblivious to the tension that’d just arisen between the other two people in the room. I’ve known I wanted to be a hero ever since I was little. My parents have spent a fortune sending me to an elite training camp for the last seven summers to make sure I’d be as prepared as possible for the HCP. Plus I’ve had personal coaches work with me for years on new ways to use my power.”
“Bro! That’s what I was wanting to ask you about. I saw the logo on on your bag. Holy shit, did you do the SETA training camps?” asked Tristan.
“Yeah, I take it you’ve heard of it.”
“Hell yeah I have. The Super Elite Training Academy. Who hasn’t? I hear those workouts are so intense. No wonder you’re so jacked. You must’ve been in great shape for your first day here. Mad props bro. Is it true you get to fight against human looking robot…”
“Hey! Tweedledum and tweedle-dickless, I honestly didn’t know there was such a thing as a two-man circle jerk, so I really appreciate the show but is there any chance I can get back to work without any more distractions?“
Lucas had mixture surprise and guilt run across his face. He opened his mouth as though he was about to say something, but glanced over to Tristan and stayed silent.
“What? You mad because you’re realizing you can’t stack up against the competition. Guess what. My guy here isn’t the only one who’s been preparing for this program long before he was admitted. I’ve been getting ready for years too. Trained in jiu-jitsu and boxing on top of honing my super abilities. Have you even done anything? Or did you just apply and cross your fingers?”
Hannah could see where this was going in. She decided in that moment to just let it play out. Fuck it, she thought. She was basically done studying. Even if she failed the final, which she was confident that she wouldn’t, she’d still pass the class. She stood up, pressed an icon on her tablet touchscreen and began putting other things away in her bag while she spoke. “Actually, I never had any special training as a kid. To tell you the truth, I shouldn’t even be here. I got into some trouble years ago. The kind of trouble that normally prevents one from getting admitted into an HCP. But, I was on a PEERS team for years and I got to do a lot of…
“Ha! You’re telling us you’re fucking a Corpie. Can you believe this, dude?“ Tristan nudged Lucas, looking for his agreement. To his credit, Lucas appeared visibly uncomfortable and leaned away from the other boy.
“Don’t know what it says about your class if they’re letting Corpies in,” continued Tristan with a sneer. “I guess you really do need to study. Obviously you’re the one that needs a back up plan. And here’s another thing little girl. It’s not just about how much you’ve trained beforehand, it’s also about who you know. And I know people. My mom‘s best friend is related to the Hero, Unseelie. So I’ve actually met a few Heroes who I’m sure will vouch for me when the time comes. Pity you can’t say the same. We all know Heroes don’t give two shits about Corpies.”
For a moment Hannah’s face expressed a flat affect. Then suddenly she burst into laughter. And not just some derisive laugh as though she was trying to convey to Tristan that she didn’t take his comments seriously. But an eye watering, oxygen depriving, honest to the Gods belly laugh. The kind of laugh that would’ve been contagious had she been around friends. She carried on for a minute until her amusement died down to a just a mild chortle. Hannah wiped her eyes. “You know people?“ She started laughing again, even louder than the first time. “Oh my Gods. Stop. Stop. I can’t breathe. Is this your fucking power?” Hannah was bent over at the waist still laughing hysterically, holding out one finger as to communicate, “give me a second.” After another minute, she wiped her eyes again, took a big gulp of air, and collected herself. “Woooh. Now that was some funny fucking shit.”
“Who in the hell do you think…“ Tristan started to say through gritted teeth.
“No no no. Please don’t get me started again. I don’t think my ribs can take it,“ said Hannah still chuckling some. “Let’s see what have I done and who do I know? You know I always knew that eventually I’d tell people about this, I just didn’t think it would go down like this.” The summoner raised her hand, then slowly curled it into a fist. Standing 3ft tall and leaning into the corner so as not to be visible to anyone who happened to be looking into the room at that moment, was Hopcules, adorned in the same armor he’d worn on the day he helped to save Brewster. “Look familiar to anyone?”
“That looks like the giant rabbit that fought robots with Titan. Hare-a-clees or something like that. My little sister has like 5 of its t-shirts,” Lucas responded.
“Wow kid, you really are shit with remembering names. Hop-cu-les is the name I gave him when I was just a child. Surprised the shit outta me that he came out the size of a skyscraper when those robots nearly killed me and my team, ” Hannah stated nonchalantly as she waved her hand and made Hopcules fade away.
With a grudging realization, Tristan began to ask, “wait, you’re not actually saying…”
“Oh look, captain mc-douche-nozzle is catching on. Somebody give the kid a prize. Yes, dumbass, I’m actually saying I fought with Titan, yes, thee fucking Titan, with every other Hero team in Brewster to stop those mechs from destroying the entire city. I’m saying the strongest hero alive is my personal mentor and it was his recommendation that got me into this program.”
Lucas looked back and forth between Hannah and Tristan having already realized that the sophomore might be one of those guys who’d lash out over his perceived inferiority. Lucas was so curious though he had to ask, “but… But, that rabbit is everywhere these days. Not just T-shirts. Toys, a cartoon, and I just read there’s going to be a next-gen console video game based on his character. If you own the rights to that image, you’d be loaded.“
“Eh,” Hannah said with shrug. “Youre leaving out the movie deal Lenny just got for me, but not something I talk about too much . It leaves me enough to be comfortable and to be able to donate a library wing to the university thats giving me a shot at being a hero.” Hannah responded. She gave Tristan a quick wink and glanced over her shoulder towards the door.
Tristan looked in the same direction and noticed something he hadn’t bothered paying attention to before, a small engraving on the center of the door of a bipedal rabbit. This would’ve been the most surprising thing that he’d seen since he set foot in the room if it wasn’t for the photo that appeared on Hannah’s tablet now facing him. It was an image of five people: Graham De Soto, the new head of the DVA, Titan in his iconic Hero costume, Dean Jackson, a large muscular young man with a shit eating grin who Tristan didn’t recognize, and another person in a generic gray mask, presumably female, and wearing a smile of malicious enjoyment, the same as the woman standing before him.
Hannah saw what caught his attention and picked up her tablet. “Oh, did you notice this? I love this picture. Titan called me in for back up as a Temporary Emergency Hero Asset. We beat the shit out of a literal army of enhanced criminal supers and took this picture after everything calmed down. All the other HCP deans were there too. Mr. Desoto actually told me if I ever needed a favor, he owed me one.” Hannah wore a wistful expression as she thought back on that day with fondness.
“Anyway, I gotta get outta here. S’posed to meet up with my training partners. Cause no matter what your background is or who you know, no one is a shoe-in for the final 10. Lucas, feel free to meet us in the combat cells tonight if you want to get a work out in and get tired of hanging out with this fuckwad. Later losers!” Hannah said this last part as she turned around and headed towards door while holding up her middle finger for all to see.
Tristan was obviously livid. His hands had been visibly shaking as he stood and listened to all the ways this 1st year had accomplished more than he’d even thought possible for student. Who does this little bitch think she is? She’s full of shit. She has to be. I’ll show her. From his elbows down, Tristan‘s arms began to darken. In seconds the two appendages looked like small tree trunks, with his fingers elongating into barbed tendril-liked branches rapidly moving towards Hannah.
Although Lucas had worked for years to improve his ability to cast his energy based illusionary environments-referred to by one quirky coach in the past as a “holodeck”- speed was an element that he continued to struggle with. He began to cast a simple illusion of darkness, so as to blind Tristan, but he knew almost immediately that it wouldn’t reach him in time. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw furry white movement. The miniature Hopcules had reappeared and was running towards the back of the chair Tristan had been sitting in. With a parkour maneuver that would make Jackie Chan jealous, Hopcules leapt from the floor to the chair, then from the chair to the rear wall. He torpedoed off of the wall with the force of both hind paws and made contact Tristan’s head, knocking the arrogant second year to the floor. He laid there dazed and confused about what had just struck him as his branches retracted and his arms returned to normal. The summon vanished before he even touched the ground.
Hannah smiled as she exited the room. Thanks be to the Gods. I was hoping that piece of shit would try something so I could have self-defense as an excuse. Kacey and Devon better be ready. I’m already warmed up.

So, here are my thoughts about how I intend to connect the two campaigns based on feedback here and my own thoughts.
The central idea here is that Kas has the same goals, of disrupting Vecna, but needs Vecna to be nearly done with the ritual before supplanting him. In order to do this, he actually needs the obelisk completed because I am working that Vecna is leveraging the secrets/power of the obelisks as a portion of his fuel for the ritual.
A large change in Phandelver and Below, is that Vecna is actually posing as Ilvaash to manipulate the Mind Flayer fanatics into completing the obelisk. The mind flayer fanatics will all be missing their left hands as a nod to Vecna, and any images of Ilvaash the party sees will showcase the godlet missing a left eye, with some other scarring to not make it too obvious (although it doesn't matter if it is).

1. Chapter 6: Introduction of Kas
   • Encounter at Talhundereth: The party encounters Kas, who is seemingly in a desperate situation with a mind flayer. The party intervenes and "rescues" him. Kas introduces himself as a knowledgeable figure with information on the mind flayer threat, claiming that gathering the remaining obelisk pieces is crucial to preventing a greater catastrophe (the establishment of a new Illithid empire). Essentially, they must complete it so they can "destroy" it, otherwise even in a partial state it is still useful.
   • Building Trust: Kas uses his charm and knowledge to earn the heroes' trust. He will play a role similar to Gwyn Orseong, providing critical information while holding back his full power. He already has the Crown of Lies, ensuring his deception is not obvious.
2. Chapter 7: Gathering the Obelisk Pieces
   • Guidance and Manipulation: Kas continues to guide the heroes, providing critical assistance in Illithinoch. He leads them through the stronghold, helping retrieve the obelisk pieces, all while subtly steering them towards actions that ensure the ritual progresses as needed.
3. Chapter 8: The Betrayal
   • Confrontation and Betrayal: As the party confronts the mind flayer fanatics to destroy the obelisk, Kas reveals his true allegiance. He actively betrays the party, ensuring the obelisk's completion by fighting alongside the fanatics. This amps up the difficulty of the fight, making it more rewarding when the party eventually destroys the obelisk and the fanatics. During the entire fight the obelisk will be "pulsing" with energy that seems to be doing something but is not apparent. Kas will get "thrown" into the obelisks and appear to disintegrate from the power, but in reality, he is just teleporting away.
4. Aftermath and Deception
   • False Victory: The party returns to Phandalin, seeing positive effects from destroying the obelisk. They believe they have thwarted the Illithid empire's plans, unaware that the real goal was to complete the obelisk so Vecna could siphon its power, getting Kas one step closer to defeating Vecna and ruling everything.
   • Setting Up the Next Campaign: This sets the stage for "Eve of Ruin," where the party will discover that Vecna, posing as Ilvaash, manipulated them all along. Additionally, when Kas is revealed to have manipulated things as a "secret" Mordenkainen, it will be a juicier reveal since they already know that Kas got one over on them already.

This approach ties Kas’ goals with Vecna’s plan, making it believable that Kas needs the ritual to progress to a certain point before he can make his move. The players will experience a sense of victory, only to later discover that they inadvertently furthered Vecna’s plans, setting up a compelling continuation.
Eve of Ruin Changes:
I think how Kas got the Crown of Lies is largely irrelevant.
I do not plan to involve the "Dark Powers" at all. While in the greater canon of D&D this may matter to people, for this campaign it's irrelevant to me that he was in a Domain of Dread and then escaped. Not knowing "how" he escaped I think adds some mystery to his character and provides a great example of just how powerful he is.
The PCs will find out from the Wizards Three how Vecna was able to get so far, speaking about how he has been having his cult gather power and knowledge for him, in addition to siphoning power from the old Nethrese obelisks scattered across Faerun. The plot of Phandelver and Below will be something the Wizards Three understand during their research of Vecna's plot and machinations, so this will create some guilt on the PCs behalf as they realize what happened and what they contributed to.
The Wish: The Wish is for a method to prevent Vecna from completing his ritual, which is what causes the PCs to be involved. Why can't the Wizards Three simply be the ones to do this? First, they trust magic, which means they trust the solution of the characters even if they are a little confused at that outcome at first. Second, "Kasenkainen" doesn't want them to defeat Vecna. He needs a way to defeat Vecna, which the Rod of Seven Parts will do. Third, in my campaign a deity and its power cannot be affected directly by the Wish spell, so the original wish to erode the power of his secrets in the book is irrelevant and it also prevents anyone from messing with any deities with the Wish spell or using it directly in the final battle with Vecna.
The Rod and the Chime: I am getting rid of the Chime from the story and combining its ability with a super-powered version of the Banishment spell (only able to be cast when fully completed). This special version of a banishment spell will harness all of the artifact's power along with the power of whoever it is targeting, and if the creature is at 50 or fewer hitpoints it will be banished forever. The process of doing this actually strips the creature of its own power, which is what narratively reduces Vecna from a deity status to something less. Where Vecna ends up and in what condition will be open ended. Additionally doing this causes the Rod to shatter into seven pieces again and teleport to unknown locations. Therefore, doing this will create an impossible scenario. The players will know of this and see it as the obvious solution to their problem. I don't need to narratively explain where the Rod pieces go or where Vecna ends up, as I don't plan to "reuse" him in the future at all.
Defeating Kas: Anywhere the "chime" was intended to be used, will require them to simply defeat the being now. Again, don't care if he's gone as I don't plan to reuse him.
Sword of Kas: I do plan on this being in the campaign, actually found in Barovia. Instead of Death House I intend to have them venture into part of Castle Ravenloft, so the Strahd angle is more consistent and can use him more effectively. The Sword will be found there, a great treasure in addition to the rod piece.
Race for the Rod: During the search for the Rod pieces, given the relationship between the Rod and Miska, the spyder-fiends will constantly be harassing the party and trying to get the pieces as well. This is a false flag, Kas having the spyder-fiends harass the party to keep them on the hunt constantly. This harassment is an element from the original 2nd edition Rod of Seven Parts campaign I actually enjoyed when I ran it decades ago. It also creates chaos and amps up the lethalness.
Sigil: The party will actually need to travel to the appropriate parts of Sigil to get to the different planes. This will put them into the right general area once they find the right portal keys, but in each chapter, they will need to figure out precisely "where" they need to go. I'm doing this because frankly, Sigil is badass and needs to be featured more. Plus, if they survive, level 20 characters would likely be a little more present in Sigil as demi-god level adventures might start there or travel through there.
The Generals: I intend to require the party to defeat both generals, Camlash and Miska. While this seems like a lot, It will take the long-rest period between both fights for Miska to fully emerge, so that will prevent things from going stupid in that period of time.
I am still unhappy with the Tiamat portion, but I have to workshop that still.

Anyone have good experencies with a female coach as a first time competitor? I want to compete next year possibly and looking for a coach but I feel most comfortable with a female coach due to the posing, check in photos, etc. I feel more comfortable with a female vs a male. Thoughts?

Yesterday my husband snuck some photos of me playing with my daughter. I had no idea he was doing it so I wasn't posed or hiding behind someone else or sucking in. It's just me, tickling my toddler, both of us laughing, pure joy... and it's my new favorite photo of myself. I can't wait for more victories like this.

Take this feedback with a grain of salt, I'm in the level 70's and usually play on 5-7 (with occasional forays into 8/9 when the team is willing). I consider 7 to be casual difficult (sometimes things go to hell, but usually have smooth runs, while Impossible/Helldive is usually full chaotic).
The game is amazing and based on past history, I think Pilestedt will keep the ship righted regardless of the doom n gloom on Reddit.
This is focused on a few things for the TLDR'ers:

• Sound Problems
• Use Lore/Storytelling for Weapon Balancing
• Lean into Themes for the Warbonds
• Crew Served Weapons
• Environmental (Firenados)
• Booster Balancing

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I love this game, reddit gives it such a negative light though recently.
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Sound Problems
Please do something about silent bots and bugs that weigh 2 tons sneaking up on you silently. Stalkers and Hunters, I can understand. If you make a cloaking bot, I can understand that too. Hulks and Devastators should not be absolutely silent.
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Weapon Balancing into the Storytelling
Please keep all this in the Story. Doesn't matter whether its Sony, new content or Balancing. Go all in on the storytelling. Eruptor, crossbow,
Example: Purifier isn't great. Create the story:

It was found that the supplier responsible for fabricating the PLAS-101 Purifier Hyperchordium Charging Module was infiltrated by Automaton sympathizers several months ago contaminating the supply line for replacement parts. As the weapon has been in use in larger quantities and questionable replacement parts are now more common, the Purifier is under performing in the eyes of the front line and brass. The only other supplier for these parts is located in the foundries on Menkent, currently occupied by the Automaton menace. Liberate the planet and restore the supply line.

If something is over performing like the Quasar, then integrate it into Lore in the same way.

The Overabundium veins and stockpiles built into the LAS-99 Quasar's crystal focusing matrix have run out. Fortunately, R&D has managed to create an artificial crystal but its ability to focus and disperse heat between shots is greatly degraded.

Then you could have planets where Overabundium deposits are found (Ore Survey missions for example) and any missions on that planet will have faster cooldown times.

An Overabundium vein has been located on Fenrir II. While not enough to replace the current sythetic crystal matrix in the LAS-99 Quasar, it has been decided that Fenrir II will receive priority utilization of this natural resource for its campaign.

​
Lean into Themes for the Warbonds
Keep going with the themed warbonds like Cutting Edge. Polar Patriots missed it for a few reasons.

• The incendiary impact grenade could have used the ice floweplant effect to freeze enemies for x time in a narrow sphere making it a viable alternative to the stun grenade.
• Purifier charging could slow enemies down (with longer slowdown on higher charge). Then it wouldn't need all these damage discussion as it would be a support weapon (a more invested version of the Pummeler PDW).
• Tenderizer could have several burst modes 2, 4, 6 rounds with minimal recoil on the burst. (Change magazine size to 36). This would give it a better purpose than standard Liberator for ammo conservation/dps selection. Bugs, I might want the 2 round burst. Bots I might want the 4 or 6 round burst.

The formula is already good for warbonds:

• 3 Armors with new passive
• 3 Cosmetic Helmets
• 3 Super Credits
• 3 Capes
• 3 Banner Cards
• 3 Victory Poses/Emotes
• 3 Primaries
• 1 New Booster
• 1 Secondary
• 1 Grenade

Each year have the October warbond be special for Liberty day (5 pages instead of 3).
Crew Served Weapons
Please allow anyone to service as weapon crew from that weapon person's backpack. (They can pull from their own pack first if they have the same weapon pack.)
​
Environmental (Firenados)
Please tweak the frequency of Firenados or lower the duration they swarm on the map. Getting 4-5 storms a mission and it takes 2+ minutes for them (and their lingering flames) to finally dissipate means that a good portion of the mission is spent avoiding these terrors. If they came down, moved around for 30s and went away with the current frequency, it wouldn't be as bad.
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Booster Balancing
Most of the boosters are ok but there's two (good and bad) that could use a little tweaking/reworking.
Hellpod Space Optimization
This has become an essential item that nearly every squad has to take. Change it to a resupply buff that gives an extra 2 resupply (6) from a resupply stratagem instead of 4. (Take out the pedestal and some spaces between the resupply boxes and looks like you could fit an extra 1 on each side.)
Put the original benefit in the armor:

• Med-Kit armor (+2 starting/max stims).
• Engineering armor (+2 starting/max grenades), you start with 4 stims/grenades instead of 2.
• Rifleman (new) armor that gives +2 starting/max primary/secondary magazines (or 20% more ammo for single reload weapons like SenatoPunisher).

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Super Destroyer Bridge Upgrade > Hellpod Supply Optimization
For the original 'max ammo/nades/stims' of the Hellpod Space Optimization, make that the next upgrade in Bridge Super Destroyer show a welding guy soldering a supply box to the hellpod. You can pick up the resupply manually when you land. (aka All your reinforces come with a supply box.)
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Flexible Reinforcement Budget
Allow this to regenerate Reinforcements overtime during the entire mission. 1 reinforcement every 8 minutes (you can regenerate even if you're not at 0 reinforcements) and keep the -10% reinforcement time if you reach 0. This keeps it useful throughout the mission rather than when everything is already almost lost.

My s/o and I have been together for years. We do not live together, if we aren't hanging out together that evening, we do at least end up at his house or mine to sleep together every night. So while I don't think there has been any real infidelity.. I think he has crossed the line with female "friends".
He is the type that loves social media and the attention that you get from it. I however am not and was devastated by some of his actions I have come across when I do pop online.
At first it was "loving" pictures on Facebook of "friends" of the opposite sex, in seductive poses, or hardly wearing clothes and commenting with flames and bulging heart eye emoji's.
Then it was random women on group pages.
Constant Snaps all day and night from "strangers".
In public, he would see a woman he knows and obviously great them, but also hug them. He wasn't introducing me, and none of these women would ever be present in "friend" outings I was included in.
Eventually, I came undone and said enough was enough. His reaction was more, you should trust me. I am with you, than apologetic.
Reluctantly he agreed to stop, but then he started befriending women on Facebook that had slept or fooled around with his married friends.. I lost it again. He eventually agreed it was inappropriate and deleted them.
Yesterday, we ran up to the store and (without my glasses) thought I saw an emoji text of a kissy face pop up. I asked him who was texting him a kissy face, his response was to immediately put his phone in his pocket and tell me it wasn't a kissy face. At that point I demanded to see the text, he pulled it up, and it was a smiley face next to the words "thank you" from a female name.
However, there were no other text messages prior to that...he had deleted them.. Swore he just sent her a happy birthday text & it meant nothing, but like I said previously he is a social media nut, he sends every single person a happy birthday shout out on Facebook so it was stood out to me that he would reach out via text.
I asked who she was and he said a friend he has known forever, yet I have been with him for years and he's never once mentioned her, nor have I met her (we live in a very small town where everyone knows everyone & they all hang out together). Confronting him on why he deleted the message he said "because I didn't want you to see I was texting some girl and get mad"...
When my son heard us arguing, he asked what was wrong and my s/o replied "oh your mom is just mad at me because I texted a friend happy birthday"... completely ignoring that I was mad because he had deleted an entire conversation with a (stranger, to me) female..
I personally think in each of these situations he has crossed the line, he tells me it is perfectly acceptable for men to have female friends and I should trust him..
Is this an expectable and normal way to have "friendships" with the opposite sex?
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I was so excited when I saw her I didn’t do anything but hit auto claim. Goddess fert, Rare base, 10+ markings, whoever chased her, I love her!

The victory pose could be Lucile hitting the camera and blood spilling down it. He has pretty basic clothes I just think if he did show up it would be criminal not to include Lucile into some aspect of the game play.

I am nearing day 50 of porn and masturbation freedom today.
For a long time, I have hesitated to write of my experience because I fear that while some may find it encouraging, many others may not find it helpful. I only know my experience, and have no playbook beyond the Bible for understanding how God will or will not move in the lives of others. While others speak of doing step work and going through a long and arduous process, I can only testify that for me, addiction to porn was a demon that God chose to cast out of me while at church one Easter morning.
So I will try to recount this as best I can.
Baseline Background: I masturbated to pornography, probably five or six times a day, including during my workday. Over time, my taste in porn grew from traditional encounters to include bi-sexuality and male and female homosexuality and themes of humiliation. It was a clear situation of increasing outrageousness to get the same high. I must have tried to stop a dozen times to no avail, sometimes lasting a week at best. Like many of you, when I failed, the porn urge reasserted itself with even greater intensity. Almost like it was saying “how dare you try to be free of me.” Trying to stop porn use felt like lifting a weight beyond my strength - it was so strenous. My addiction was often triggered by anxiety, fear and loneliness. Using porn became vital to dealing with these emotions. I couldn’t function without it. But I was also extremely irritable when I was not “under the influence.”
I’m sorry, but anyone who thinks their wife or significant other can’t see the signs of this addiction is being naive or counting on their partners denial. I am sure I looked, smelled and behaved in a gross manner. I ogled every woman I came across for quick hits. Conversations with women became increasingly difficult because of the feedback loop of fear that my inner lust might be detected. Porn put me in a zombie state, where I could pass for being alive in isolated moments but was dead on the inside.
Interesting point: I did pray prayers of desperation. I tried to flee when possible, but could never run fast enough or far enough. My determination had no home because it was always defeated. But the Holy Spirit led me to begin to change some things even while I was still in bondage. I started working out. I started trying to eat better. I still made room for porn…but i did things that were akin to planting flowers in the prison lawn. I started reading the Bible and being obedient to God in almost imperceptibly small ways. I did these things not to be free…but because it was all I had to offer. I believe these accumulated actions over time and my building desire to be free - and an understanding that I could not free myself - created a person that could tolerate the lightning bolt that was about to strike. I was a meek, doomed creature who could only look to God for hope.
Transformation: And then came Easter morning….. The message was really one of salvation and God’s determination to save us. He waded through the filth to get me. He took my punishment to free me. Layer after layer of life trauma was revealed to me that morning. And through it all, I could see and feel the love of Jesus Christ in a manner I had only understood at an intellectual level in the past. The enemy’s strongholds were mighty, but I could feel them being shattered one by one. It was difficulty to keep any composure. It burned. I can almost imagine that the thing inside me could no longer stand the temperature. I won’t claim certainty over what was actually happening on this spiritual level, but this is what it felt like. It felt as though there was a real physical and spiritual dimension to this that I cannot explain.
And then, listening to praise music later that week - something I never really did before….I “inhaled.” The demon had been cast out, but this was the moment the spirit entered into the empty space. I cried, and was gasping for breath! It was like that moment like after you can finally breathe deep after having the wind viciously knocked out of you. I gasped and kept gasping. It was so very strange.
And I knew then with all certainty that it was over. The addiction as I had known it was gone. I am not surprised to be at day 50 and have no fear of relapse. Why on God’s Earth and every blessing in heaven would I ever go back to that!!!!!!?????? I can’t even stand the memory of it! I have had days that would have triggered my past but the thing is just “gone.” The cycle is broken. I can remember how I behaved but it feels distant. I can imagine one day I won’t even feel like it was really me.
And in its place is a feeling of such immense gratitude to Jesus Christ and the Father and the Spirit. I have since tearfully repented many times…and though I can’t explain it, I feel as though I would not have had the capacity to repent like this without first having been transformed. I didn’t know what repentance was or what it felt like until this moment. It’s not just sorry and I’ll try harder. It’s more like choosing to get into a car with someone who is driving across town. I’ve never had a diligent prayer life in the past, but I now spend long periods of time just saying thank you.
I have institutionalized this in my life….I have personal praise time twice a day, once in the morning and then again in the evening. But it often happens without me even thinking about it.
And here is something that will likely cause others to say “don’t listen to him!” And they may be right! But this is the truth. I have left all of my porn accounts active. None of them are paid accounts but they still send me email messages and remind of new content. I see these enter my inbox and delete them (unviewed) once a week or so. Don’t I feel too tempted to open them???? Not really. My body still bears its “wounds”… and the physical memory of it is still there. But it is small and starved and outweighed by joy. As a metaphor, porn now looks like choosing a pale imitation of something over the real thing. And the memory of myself in depression and bondage is still so visceral. I am so very happy to be alive. I feel the love of God and it causes me to see myself as He sees me and I don’t want to drag that person into filth.
In fact, every time I hit that delete button, it gives me a moment to celebrate and appreciate my freedom.
I’ve thought about this and now believe that, for me, it was a useless gesture to eradicate my ability to access porn. The enemy has made it available everywhere! I know some have achieved victory through this method so I am not casting any stones at it! Please don’t take it that way! For some, this may absolutely be necessary. I know that for me, deleting videos and stuff was kind of a distraction that just set up the inevitable and satisfying “search and rebuy all my porn” relapse.
For me, “fleeing” (which is biblical) is for when your addiction is thrust upon you without your choice. This is getting up out of a movie theater when you realize the content is triggering you. But what I am doing is dying to my sin as a remembrance of God’s grace and my choice to accept it as a conscious act. Porn is still there, but I obey the Spirit and say “get lost.”
Interesting point 2: Obedience is a muscle and every time I swipe left to delete, I can feel my “No” muscle become stronger. Strengthening this muscle while remembering that I was delivered has been my secret weapon.
Here is the part that I struggle with: why doesn’t God just zap Everyone who asks for it? Why didn’t this happen to me 2 years ago? I wouldn’t presume to know the answer to this. I can only lay this testimony out as clear as I can and trust that others may find things within it that speak to them and where they are. I just want to say that victory ins possible in Him and don’t listen to the lies of the enemy that say otherwise.

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Upon the tallest silo of Fleapit's foundries, a duel was about to break out that would determine the fate of the entire Underkingdom.
Marcus often recalled tales of such duels in the books he loved to peruse as a child – fanciful stories of men and women going off to conquer fantastical realms and slaying dragons or witch covens after proclaiming the inherent purity of the human spirit.
Such tales rouse the hearts of young men. They become the same young men who run off to wars thinking that mass combat will afford them the same kind of moral superiority.
For Marcus - a man trapped in an ugly rendition of one such world - such superiority was a luxury he would never have. Heroes are supposed to bandy words with demons. They are supposed to show their valor in righteous battle.
But the battle that unfolded atop Fleapit's highest point was not honorable. It was not righteous.
Instead, one armored rat brought his vicious halberd to bear against two humanoid snake-hybrids, and the strikes they made were to kill, not to entertain their spectator.
First, the youngling threw Marcus aside and leaped directly for Festicus. The ratman anticipated the attack, shifting his weight to his right to sidestep and cleave the snake-woman from belly to breast. The attack was one of pure, raw strength, but it was one burdened by the heaviness of the creature's weapon. In the moment of impact the young Yokun twirled and slashed at the ratman's exposed neck, her blade coming away with his crimson blood gleaming along its edge.
He staggered, dropping to his knees just in time for the Matron to came at him with her mercy strike.
A strike that he met with his bare teeth.
His head jerked up. His mouth opened in a snarl, and Marcus saw his fangs clamp down on the blade as it entered its throat. The Matron's eyes narrowed as she tried to free the blade, watching the ratman's gums fill with gushing blood as the Wakizashi's edge nicked his tongue. Then, in her moment of pure confusion, his halberd swept the Yokun elder's feet.
"Sister!"
Festicus smirked as he felt movement behind him – the youngling spinning in a deadly pirouette that struck for his armored spine. The blessings of He-Who-Festers was with the ratman on this day, for the Yokun's blade merely pierced the outer layer of his armored hide and ripped the metal pieces away, letting them fall in a hail of iron that rained down on the spectators watching the small snippets of the battle they could see below.
The ratman thrust the pole of his weapon back to knock against the ribs of the youngling and push her almost straight off the silo's precarious platform to join the bloody mess that was her sister below.
"MMMHMMM!" Marcus wheezed from his position, still gagged. He couldn't help it. This fight was showing him just how skilled the Marrow rat truly was. And it was telling him that his spirit was still loyal to his Shai-Alud after all.
As Festicus turned to hack away at the thin leathers of young Yeeva's chest, the Matron regained her footing. She sent a flurry of blows angled down at the ratman's armpit joints that struck faster than Marcus's eyes could follow. All he saw, when he blinked, was that Festicus was reeling back, his mouth, elbows, and arms all bleeding profusely, coating the dark metal of the silo in his life fluids.
The Matron brought her youngblood back up to her knees, and both of them angled their blades at the mauled rat before them.
"Sire..Marcus," Festicus groaned, drawing his eyes towards the human huddled at the edge of the bloody platform.
With a single twist of his claws he ripped through Marcus's gag and the human heaved a wail of release.
"Festicus," he said, trying to maintain his commanding tone. "Stand. Down."
"I would listen to your monkey friend," the Matron spat through her smiling lips. "You face two Sisters of the House of Whispers, little cretin. We have slain more of your kind than you can count."
Festicus rose steadily, using his halberd to push up from the floor of the platform as the two Yokun circled, both picking their target that would end the miserable ratman's life.
"Clan Marrow…" he wheezed. "Never…back…down."
He turned to Marcus abruptly after coughing a torrent of dark crimson.
"I will be living…to see…those cannons," he sputtered as he brought his halberd back up, holding it across his chest straight backed and regal, like some Arabian prince's honor guard. "In the name of Clan and King…I will be living…to see…our victory!"
Both women's blades flashed through the air, trailing arcs of brilliant light as they curved to bring death upon the beleaguered ratman.
And the eyes of the rat flew to Marcus's as he swept up his halberd to meet the Matron's strike at his right flank.
The Wakizashi of the youngling flew to cleave through his ribcage to the left, and it would have done so if she had merely followed through.
Instead, Marcus watched as her arm writhed like it had a will of its own. She dropped her weapon and it slid across the platform while she screamed in agony – an animal scream that pierced not only the air, but the ears of her Sister who was taken off balance by the sudden change in her companion's demeanor.
And that opening was all Festicus needed cut right into her waist.
She opened her mouth in a gasp, arms flying to dislodge the blade while the ratman that held it grit his teeth and pushed through her scaled skin with all the force left in his hulking frame.
"SHAAAAAA-HAH!"
Marcus watched awestruck as the Matron's torso was cleaved clean through. Her legs flopped beneath the purple-soaked blade of Festicus's halberd while the rest of her body spun in the air, crumbled, and fell back to the platform in a heap of twitching limbs.
"SISTER!" Yeeva screamed, her arms still gyrating with a life of their own as Festicus collapsed to one knee, seeing the ghostly form of someone familiar appear just over the lip of the platform's north face.
"By…the Unclean…" he wheezed. "Could you not be coming…a little…more early?"
The hooded rat man that had his eyes trained on the twitching Yokun before him twisted his face into a smile.
"A Gloomrava of Glumrot isssss coming exxxxxactly when he issssss needing to."
"Look out!"
The shout came from Marcus as his eyes flew to the still spasming Yokun Matron's body. In a macabre display of pure, uncanny willpower, her fingers wrapped round her blade and sent it spinning towards the tiny legs of the newly arrived priest, drawing a cry of agony from him that sounded more like the shrill wailing of the undead than the pained voice of a rat.
Festicus watched his Brother go down and made to rise again to finish off the last female, but this time the Yokun youngling was faster – spurned on by the death of her senior.
She met Festicus' sweeping strike with such fury that the ratman was sent staggering back, and, holding the blade of her Matron in her hand, got the other around the ratman's throat and held him down, her nails penetrating deep into his neck and drawing tiny trickles of blood that traveled through her scaled veins.
"Miserable, scaleless swine!" she railed, pushing her Wakizashi closer and closer to the ratman's face, watching the life in his eyes and strength in his arms gradually fade away to nothing. "Vlitark take the Matriarch! You all die here and now!"
Festicus's arms began to give way. The power to even bite back at the vengeance-filled face of the snake was going – it was draining away like the rest of his blood. It seemed he would have to be satisfied with slaying one of them. An honor most of his Clan would still respect him for, even if it had to be in death…
But before he closed his eyes he saw the Yokra's go wide. He saw the passionate fires of fury die away on her scaled features and then felt the wet spew of her blood that had just spurted from beneath her chest. Both ratman and Yokun looked down to see where her discarded Wakizashi had just penetrated her lower abdomen and, as the blade was twisted, Yeeva finally fell to the side.
And revealed the human standing above her who had just stabbed her in the back.
Festicus wanted to laugh then more than any other time in his life. But, try as he might, all he could manage was a slight smile.
"You truly…are…having the soul…of a rat," he wheezed.
And as Marcus bent down to check the vitals of the ratman, discovering, too late, that there was nothing more to be done, Festicus of Clan Marrow closed his eyes and left the world of the Underkingdom behind.
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JULIE CAO
Hometown: Toronto, Ontario
Family: Mary Cao, single mom and high profile lawyer, Nike, divine entity
Age: 16 (Birthday is 10/06)
Faceclaim: N/A as of yet.
Theme Song: Ice To Never
Height: 6’1”
Sexuality: Lesbian
Gender Identity: Female
Physique: Julie is very tall and quite athletic, the kind of build that’s queen on the ice or in the boxing ring. She’s got a statuesque figure, well kept and trimmed short nails and carries herself with a sort of easy confidence that comes from being naturally gifted with incredible coordination. She also has pierced ears and exactly one scar on her eyebrow from when she got hit by a hockey stick. She keeps good care of her hands and skin, but her hands are pretty callused from a lifetime of playing ice hockey, boxing, lacrosse (long story) and she’s got really good cardio from her time on the track team. She has dark brown eyes and occasionally wears sunglasses.
Voice: Julie has a contralto and very precise, exact speech. She’s got a Canadian accent and her voice is always brimming with the pride she feels in herself.
Hair: Julie has mid-length black hair that she usually keeps in a tight, precise bun, on occasion she has it in a braid. She has the occasional cute hair clip that she gets in when she’s got her hair down. Her favourite is a maple leaf clip, closely followed by a silver butterfly clip
Clothing: Julie has a wide wardrobe, but most commonly, when she’s being casual, she’s wearing an off the shoulder sweater and jean cutoffs over tights and a pair of converse. She likes dresses on occasions where they’re warranted, and also owns a few hockey jerseys that she likes to wander around in.
Personality: Julie is a textbook overachiever who has built her identity about being the best. She’s clever, quick-witted, always has something to say in a situation and is absolutely convinced that she’s hot shit. She’s the kind of person who gets over-competitive at the drop of a hat, going straight for any chance at a win. Fair play, that’s for suckers, she’s here to win. And she always, always wins. She isn’t especially nice, or especially kind, though she does have a warmer side for people she thinks of as either worth her time, hot or actually able to beat her. She’s incredibly hard-working, incapable of giving up whenever she’s trying to figure something out or achieve something. Sunk cost fallacy who? Never heard of that bitch!
Despite her generally bitchy interior world, she’s very good at being friendly when necessary. After all, when in a team situation, it’s better for the team to not hate each other than to have the opposite occur, as long as she’s the one in charge of said team. Some people would expect she’s more terrified of being alone or failure than anything else, but no, she’s not capable of being the kind of loser without friends or screwing up. I mean, have you met her? She doesn’t exactly process the concept of failure all that well.
She’s a straight A student, a closet history geek, and absolutely a hidden delinquent. She’s not going around smashing mailboxes, but she is absolutely getting into fights and involved in shady stuff, she’s also famously been selling exam keys to other students for a little side cash. She also stole a car that one time. She’s pretty handy with tools and knows how to fix a car, really deeply wanting to restore a classic car at some point. She got her drivers licence when she was fourteen and her mother was proud, probably. Julie is fairly distant from her mother, likes to write science fiction in her secret, spare time and is very aware that she’s going to be an Olympic athlete at some point in her near future, probably after leading the Toronto Torch to a victory in the PHWL.
POWERS
Domain Powers: War
Summon Weapon: Julie can summon a labrys, a hockey stick and a shield.
Weapon Proficiency: Julie is innately and preternaturally skilled with mid-range melee weapons, especially her axe.
Combat Proficiency: Julie is specifically quite good at fighting people, and one of the ways she’s good at fighting people hasn’t become known to her, since she’s never ridden in a chariot, but her general talent with her weapons combined with her talent with ground combat has always shown when she’s on the ice.
Minor Powers: Nike
Competitive Sports Proficiency: C’mon. Julie’s good at sports. She’s always been good at sports, she’s just built different. Her training and practice pays off, sure, but there’s also just an incredible baseline of talent that she’s running with.
Legendary Speed: Julie is fast. She’s a demon on the ice and she’s just as fast on land. She might not be superhumanly strong, but with enough speed, it really doesn’t matter, does it? Try to keep up. You won’t.
Self Gratification Buff: Julie knows she shoots better, fights better and IS better when she’s around awards. She doesn’t exactly know why and generally just rolls with it.
Major Power: Nike
Victory Foresight: Julie knows she’s going to win. And more importantly than that, she knows how she’s going to win. When she gets in the zone, when she really focuses in, she can see the paths to victory like hazy outlines in her head that she can turn into plans. She knows this can be honed, she just doesn’t know how.
Backstory: Julie’s mother very rarely paid attention to her. Not her divine parent, her mortal mom, but not for any reason of dislike or disdain, but her mother was just busy. The kind of woman who was always on the clock, always working and Julie respected that more than anything else. She instilled into Julie the understanding that how you won wasn’t important, so long as you won, the finish line was what mattered, not the way you got there. She never talked about Julie’s mother, on the rare occasions she spent time with her daughter, instead she’d talk about her aspirations for her daughter. Julie absorbed them, internalized these lessons and took herself down the path of being the best. At times, she wondered if she was doing stuff for her or for her mother’s dreams for her, but in reality, it was kind of irrelevant. When she explained she wanted to be an Olympic athlete, her mother reminded her that she would need a backup plan for when she didn’t make it. And on the bottom line, you’d think this gave her some deep seated insecurities.
Not even a little bit. She didn’t miss her mom when she wasn’t around, she didn’t really care that her mom didn’t really believe in her that much, because she was the best, and that was what mattered.
Course, she eventually started making a scene, getting into trouble. Why not? Her mom had never noticed her do anything before, why start now? So she acted out in subtle ways, and she never got her mother’s attention. Again, not that she cared, it wasn’t like she needed maternal approval to stay ahead of the crowd. However, eventually, she got into trouble. Not the kind she expected to, but instead it was a girl she was hanging out with trying to actually murder her. As in, trying to bite her throat out. After a sincerely dramatic fight where she summoned an axe and dusted the girl (she was going to stress about that maybe never, she had bad breath), she went home and was filled in on a few things about her personal history. Her other mother was a deity of some kind (yeah, obviously), her mother didn’t know who it was specifically, and the goat dude in their apartment was going to take her to a summer camp to help her get a handle on her powers and heritage. It was apparently, completely non negotiable
Arriving at camp, a suitcase in her hand and a cup of coffee in the other, Julie glared up at the camp sign, the satyr who brought her here already moving past her and getting to the Big House. She sighed, with a certain professional resignation. She’d have to make the best of it, and while she knew she was going to excel here, she was deeply disappointed she’d not be able to spend the summer (or maybe even forever, apparently) getting ready for the hockey season. She crossed the border, expecting something to happen, and sighed. It was kind of a giant dud so far, odds were low that her mother was playing some kind of practical joke on her, but not ENTIRELY zero.
Her trip here had been uneventful in a way, mostly just dodging monsters according to her guide and then once they arrived in the States, she’d been in a car for the last while as they had moved towards the camp and she wanted to stretch it out.
She took a sip from her coffee, pulling the suitcase up the hill and parking it at the top, stepping through the barrier and not exactly noticing the golden laurel appearing above her head in a hologram…