There is more to it than the title. I was engaged to be married to a woman I was with for almost four years. In our last year together, she pretty much treated me like a ghost, ignoring messages, not wanting to go on dates, and the last straw was blocking me on social media. I did everything to keep the relationship alive, working long hours, going to visit her in her city every month, trying to talk to her, but she kept pushing me away. Eventually our last conversation was over the phone, at night, and her last words to me were "I don't love you now," "I am seeing someone else," and "I need you to back off." This was after Valentine’s Day, after a hard day of work, after I sent her a valentine gift. I was devastated and pretty much cursed out God, blamed the world, blamed myself for the relationship ending after I did everything I could to keep it. To this day I have doubt I am worthy to be a child of God, that I failed my family, I failed myself, and I failed at life. I was severely depressed for a long time. I am still depressed, but I have a better handle on it now.
A few months after the relationship ended, I have mixed feelings of love and hate towards my ex. I cannot forgive her, no matter how hard I tried. I have tried deeply and daily to forgive her, but I do not believe I can. I have not spoken to her since Feb 2023. I have blocked her on all social media. The only way she can contact me is by email, letter, or by going to my parents’ home. I have already told myself, if she ever wants to talk to me, it must be in person, no other way. I will not talk to people solely through social media anymore, it must be face to face or on an actual voice call (no voice messages) if we live in the same city.
In June 2023, I move to China and am working as an English teacher. I wanted to get far away from the past and I did. My family are supportive of my decision.
In July 2023, I met this sweet and intelligent woman through a language exchange app. We simply wanted to help each other practice English, Spanish, and Chinese. After a week or so she asked to have dinner with me as friends and I thought nothing of it. I was still recovering from the last relationship and wanted nothing to do with a new one. She chose a cool restaurant, had a bar, Mexican food, and great drinks. I expected the meetup to be about 30 minutes. It ended up being 3 hours. We had no idea that time flew quickly. The conversation we had was fun. The day we had dinner was the last day I was staying in her city, I had to move to another Chinese city in China for work. I never stopped thinking about her.
Few months pass by and its December 2023. I told myself “Screw it." I went online and ordered a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to her home. Once the order was made, I thought nothing of it and continued my routines for the next few days. The flowers were going to be delivered on Christmas. Christmas is not a big holiday in China. I got anxious as the day got closer. I thought “what am I doing? I only met her once in person, we are language partners, I live in a different city, she and I are full time workers… blah blah blah.” At this point there was nothing I could do; I could not cancel the order. Christmas day comes, its dinner time, I am chilling with other foreigners, and I got a notification from the woman saying, “thank you for the flowers, they are beautiful.” I asked if we could chat, and she said of course. I do not know what came over me, I was scared but I wanted to be honest with her.
She told me “This is not a gift for a friend.” I responded in honesty “I have been thinking about you since the night we had dinner and I want to know if you could give me the chance to impress you and become your partner.” She said, “I had been waiting for you to do that, I do not know if it is romantic, but I do like you and would like to know you more.” This was a great feeling. I was happy and thankful. I thanked God and myself for doing it.
We met up a few weeks ago in her city and we had a wonderful dinner, we spent the entire day together, talking, walking, exchanging ideas, enjoying each other’s company. We even challenged each other to be healthier. Next time I see her, I must do 30 pushups and she has to do 1 pushup (not fair, but if I win, she has to ride a bike with me around a park). We have given each other cute nicknames; she calls me “Winnie the Pooh” and I call her “Honey.” She asked me why I call her “Honey” and I told her because, “Winnie the Pooh likes Honey.”
We kept our language exchange schedule, and we understand that we are both busy with work and taking this relationship slow is good for us. She has told me multiple times that she wants me in her city. Whether she wants me or not, I have always planned to go back to that city. The weather is nice, there are more things to do, it’s closer to other major cities.
There are so many times I want to talk to her, but the fear and past experiences shake me to the core. I TRULY want to talk to her, about anything. Hearing and listening to her speak about her passions and hobbies is joyous to me. We always exchange ideas in our weekly exchanges. I do not want to say, “I love her,” I am too scared to say that. However, I want her as my girlfriend. I just do not know what to do to overcome this fear and progress our relationship further.
Note: If anyone is wondering, yes, she is Chinese. I am American but my appearance is Hispanic.

Ok So...i just found out today that my girlfriend signed up with some company called StrategiQuest Acronyms SIQ.
In this company they created a business under her name and apparently for doing this they send her $500 a month payment for allowing them to use her info to create the business.
I found all this out and I told her, Its a scam dont do it...
She did it anyways, and i have been receiving chargeback letters like 30-40 of them from quantum pay. Each of these letters are chargebacks for $100-300 and the reason is Card Not present for authorization.
I saw this and confronted her and said they are using your name to run fraud credit cards probably stolen from the dark web and they run them through the website thats now under her name for products that dont exist.
I cant imagine a legitimate company receiving this many chargebacks for their products....
Am i wrong here or is it really bad?
I need advice here because she wont take my word and i feel shes going to dig her self in such a huge hole that shes gonna be liable for later once they tuck and run....

Ok So...i just found out today that my girlfriend signed up with some company called StrategiQuest Acronyms SIQ.
In this company they created a business under her name and apparently for doing this they send her $500 a month payment for allowing them to use her info to create the business.
I found all this out and I told her, Its a scam dont do it...
She did it anyways, and i have been receiving chargeback letters like 30-40 of them from quantum pay. Each of these letters are chargebacks for $100-300 and the reason is Card Not present for authorization.
I saw this and confronted her and said they are using your name to run fraud credit cards probably stolen from the dark web and they run them through the website thats now under her name for products that dont exist.
I cant imagine a legitimate company receiving this many chargebacks for their products....
Am i wrong here or is it really bad?
I need advice here because she wont take my word and i feel shes going to dig her self in such a huge hole that shes gonna be liable for later once they tuck and run....

Baby boy was born at 36 weeks gestation a few days ago. He is in the NICU due to having a pleural effusion that seems to be clearing. He also has pulmonary hypertension but they hope no surgery is needed right now. He is stable and doing well in the NICU. He doesn’t suckle or eat on his own because he is learning to swallow and breathe. Things we take for granted. I feel bad for my wife because she was looking forward to experience being a woman and breast feeding him.
They no longer have him intubated just on oxygen with the canula at 2 liters so we are making progress. Blood work came back positive for trisomy21. Asked Doctor about a microarray but she said he doesn’t need one?that he as tri21? I thought there were 3 types from what I am learning online.
Can’t say my wife and aren’t a little scared and confused. I did sign up today for down syndrome network news letter. I guess I just don’t know where to start since we are embarking on this journey.
I hope to give him the best life I can. I know early intervention is important but what exactly does that entail? What therapies should I be looking for to begin with? What recommendations or resources?
My wife is grieving and so am I a little because he is our first and I guess we had so many ideas of our marriage having a little one that would be our legacy in terms of growing up and growing older, college, girlfriends, maybe marriage and children for him but now I see he may never experience some of those things and we should be counting our blessings.
I have so many thoughts in my mind like what kind of life will he have and be able to live? Will he live a long quality life? Will he have independence? I get worried about who will take care of him when we die as I am 38m and wife is 36f. Then I read that I can expect his life expectancy to be maybe 50-60’s years of age and that some DS people live till 70’s maybe.
I know I should just enjoy the moment now of him being a baby but seeing the videos on you tube and realizing how much time and effort he will need to thrive scares me because he just won’t have a typical childhood. But I will do my best to be strong and be there for him and I want to give him the best start and base possible to thrive.
I see there was an institute for people’s potential and also know I will need to sign up for all the therapies I can. I know also I need him to have great nutrition and healthy lifestyle so he can carry himself with it for as long as he can because after my wife and I are gone he will really have no one else besides maybe a few nephews and nieces. Do I need to set up a trust or anything like that now or accounts to grow so he will have something in the future to use?
Thank you for reading my grief and cries here. I appreciate your experience and expertise on what I can do to give my newborn baby boy the best quality of life he can have.

Hello fellow members, Hope you're in good health and spirits.
Kindly need your valuable guidance and insight on my mother's application for Canadian Super Visa.
Information:

1. Inviting and applying for mother ONLY.
2. Mother's Age: 53 Years.
3. Mother's Status: Married since 1990.
4. Mother's Occupation: Housewife.
5. Mother's Travel History: UAE ONLY (January 2024).

Supporting Documents:

1. Proof of Relationship.
2. Proof of Canadian Citizenship.
3. Proof of Income (80K CAD) - NOA.
4. Paystubs of last 6 months.
5. Employment Letter (100K+ CAD).
6. Invitation Letter promising financial support.
7. Mother's Health Insurance.
8. Mother's Upfront Medical Test.
9. Mother's Bank Statement (6K CAD).
10. Mother's Police Certificate.

I am intending for her to visit me for one year, at least.
As I am unclear, what do you suggest I should write for the following question?
"Tell us more about what you'll do in Canada. Include dates."
I am intending to write that she will be travelling with me during my holidays throughout the year. Visiting tourist attractions and exploring different cities of Canada whilst taking care of her. I want her to meet my girlfriend also and spend time with her that I am planning to marry soon.
Is that a good response?
Also, please suggest or share your experience on how can I prove her strong ties with home country. She has no assets or properties. Just a living husband and a married daughter who got married recently.
I want to ensure that my responses are the safest with minimal chances of rejection; adhering to the requirements of Super Visa.
Thank you so much!

Reddit Account: kgdaguy
Discord Tag:justkaegjuice
Name and House: Aelor Belaerys
Age: 25
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: Silver hair kept short but wild in appearance, purple eyes and of average height. Prefers to wear an amethyst in his right ear ensnared by a white serpent, similar to that of his house banners and rarely ever without perfumed attire.
Trait:Agile
Skill(s):Dragonrider, Nimble, Skulker, Prepared, Infiltrator
Talent(s): Fishing, Painting, Likes to sing but not the best at it.
Negative Trait(s):
Starting Title(s):Heir to Aegon’s Rest, The Father’s Flame, Dragonlord
Starting Location: Opening Party
Alternate Characters: N.A

Bio

Aelor Belaerys was born on Dragonstone to Baelor and Baela Belaerys. His father was occupied marching with the Targaryens leaving his mother to birth the child with the aid of Dragonstone servants. He would be the eldest of their two children with his sister Aelora being born a few years after and from a young age, Aelor was expected to follow in the footsteps of many Belaerys before him.
He was set to be a warrior, a man sworn to serve the Targaryens with nothing but a farm to his name. A faded legacy clung onto his name but even young, his mother would often tell him that she’d prayed to Arrax, the father of all Valyrian people, that her child, her jewel, would one day find great power and restore their house to its former glory.
For seven years he’d live on Dragonstone and for a short period in Aegonsfort before the King was killed, by Tullys they’d claimed. Aelor was too young to understand what had happened but he remembers his family moving to the Riverlands where they ‘had a new home’ given to them by Visenya Targaryen, the Warrior Queen.
Life seems perfect for Aelor who has taken to the role of heir quickly. Where he was once destined to learn how to wield a blade, instead Aelor found himself a fan of the finer arts, things like painting, singing and singing had filled his time. That bothered his father who believed that his heir needed to be a strong knight in hopes of filling his boots upon his death.
That displeasure grew into rage when the Maesters told Baelor that Aelor would often ignore lessons, when their Master-at-Arms told him that Aelor skipped training sessions and worse when Aelor instead skipped lessons and training all together to paint a ruined tower of Aegon’s Rest.
But before Baelor could lash out, his beloved Baela would die unexpectedly, the cause unknown but natural according to the Maesters. This alone would give Aelor a few years of reprieve from punishment as Baelor pulled his claws away from all his children and focused on his lordship.
They’d return when Aelor was fourteen however when the boy had begun to spend too much time with the Rivermen smallfolk in one village or another. By this point the Maesters had grown tired of Aelor, he was rebellious, quick to let his temper run wild and worse, dyslexic which made learning a battle in itself.
For all the perceived problems that Aelor had caused his father, Baelor decided the only way to correct the boy was lock him away in the castle and ensure he was taken to all his lessons by a flock of servants, but unlike the ones from the Riverlands, Baelor ensured only men and women from Dragonstone and Driftmark surrounded the boy.
In 16 AC, after four years of trying to correct Aelor’s foolishness, Baelor finally had enough after Aelor’s constant escapes, ploys and just in general sheer dimwittedness he decided it was time to replace him as heir and worked on getting remarried, asking the Queen Rhaenys to aid him in finding a wife amongst the Westermen.
And so Baelor brought Aelor into his solar, where he’d tell his son plainly that he’d found a match in Jeyne Westerling. Expecting the boy to lash out, he’d run around the fact but eventually he’d say it plainly. Aelor would no longer be his heir when their son was born, he would lose his inheritance for he was a dimwit, a shame upon their house and a disappointment to his father.
Aelor would never forget those words.
He’d gathered plate armor, a sword and some gold, much to his siblings, cousins and uncles dismay and ran off to King’s Landing. Few knew his surname when he’d arrived and that resulted in the young boy joining the first group of hedge knights he’d come across.
For six months he’d leap from one to another until he’d settled down with a group of older knights led by Ser Jon Costayne. A reachmen who’d jumped ship when Aegon first landed made for a perfect mentor to the young Belaerys, he was everything he’d wanted his father to be and Jon was in need of a squire so he’d take him in.
Life was sad and dark for him during the two years he’d spend as a hedge knight traveling the Crownlands and the Vale. At some point he’d even made it to White Harbor before sailing back go King’s Landing.
During his time with the band, the Costayne would often jokingly call him a Dragonlord, in part harmless joking but some bit of it often followed him telling the boy to make for Dragonstone to tame one of the beasts that lived there.
Jon would often say that Aelor and Aegon were only a few letters apart, why couldn’t the Belaerys take the Black Dread? When he’d tell him that the Queens would take his head, Jon would claim the Big Bitch could take both the Queens and then some.
Eventually those jokes however turned serious and Jon convinced him that the only way he’d get out of his slump, that he’d keep his inheritance was to take a dragon from the island Aelor once called him. Had it not been for news reaching him that his younger brother had been born, Aelor might have shrugged it off and kept to his lonesome life.
But the birth of Aegon Belaerys to Baelor Belaerys and Jeyne Westerling lit a fire under him. One fierce enough to cause him to make his way to Dragonstone, up the Dragonmont and into the lair of the a dragon he’d heard much of from his upbringing.
Veraxes
His mother used to tell him that there were two dragons that all the naughty boys and girls should avoid for fear that they would sense their bad tendencies and eat them whole. The first was Cannibal, a foul creature that ate it’s own kind and spared no little boy either. The second…now that one was one that used to scare him most as a boy.
But he was no longer a boy. He had sought her out. Brought with him meats from his family's old farm now run by the seeds of House Targaryen.
She was said to be ugly, that her belly was filled with cattle, children, and just about anything that bled. That she would eat until she was incapable of moving. The Golden Menace they’d call her for her tendency to burn those who came too close or simply bothered her while she ate elsewhere on the island.
He would see her as anything but a menace that day. Now her weight he couldn’t change but her demeanor was unlike what they’d all claimed it to be. The She-Dragon turned her gaze from the bones of cattle she was picking away at. Even in the dark lair he could see those bright golden eyes watching his every move.
She rushed forth, the ground shook with each step the rotund dragon took until she was practically atop Aelor and then she let out a snarl. He’d later learn that this was simply her way of telling him that he would not get her food, she’d taken it herself and not a soul could take it away from her.
Instead of growing fearful, Aelor held out the cows head for her. Veraxes thought he meant that he’d his own food which meant none of hers was going to be eaten. But then he’d throw it towards her. The first of many offerings he’d make to the dragon.
Over the entire night and next morning he’d slowly inch towards her, pushing her boundaries, each time feeding her as he got closer until he’d eventually be able to mount her the next day.
When she took off for the first time over Dragonstone he’d felt truly alive. He was the first Belaerys Dragonlord since the Doom and he felt great ecstasy for a few hours until he’d realized what this meant to the world at large.
Knowing that if he’d returned to King’s Landing Orys might just decide to kill him the moment he was away from her, Aelor flew home to Aegon’s Rest. There he’d find thousands of men camped outside his home, all prepared to wage a war he’d not heard of.
His uncle Baelon would be the first to see him atop the beast as he’d landed in a field. Aelor would tell him what happened and Baelon would tell the boy that he’d felt great pride in him but war had come and they needed that dragon more than they ever had.
His uncle would tell him that his father Baelor had sided with the Blackwoods in a dispute between them and the Brackens. The conflict had grown larger than just a petty squabble and houses from as far as the North had begun to march for one side or another.
It’d be then that he’d see his father at the gates of Aegon’s Rest, rushing towards him and it would be then that he’d make up his mind and climb back atop Veraxes. He’d wondered if this was what the first Dragonriders had felt like when they’d rode without a saddle.
As the Golden Menace took off and tents flew in all directions, he’d set his sights to the Northeast where he’d followed the River until he’d found a clash between the Brackens and Blackwoods. He’d imagined one side or the other and thought he’d come to help but the Veraxes had come for neither side, not here for either.
In the end, both forces would be given a simple demand. Return to your homes, embrace peace, or stick to your paths and enter the afterlife hand in hand.
All but a few chose to burn.
This would mark the day that the Aelor the world now knows was born. He’d taken inspiration from what he’d thought Aegon, Visenya and Rhaenys had said to those they’d conquered and it had worked. It meant he was like them, a true Dragon in the flesh.
He’d return home after ending that war and write to the Targaryens and the Baratheon letting them know that he’d ended the conflict in the name of the Crown. A hope that it would be enough to placate them enough to ensure they did not hunt him down and it had worked.
His father Baelor seemed to have shifted his tone now that Aelor rode Veraxes, where he’d once called him a disappointment to their bloodline and their people, he’d now call him the saving grace of the House Belaerys.
Aelor did not take a liking to that change but he could not bring himself to say anything, negative nor positive about his father instead he’d simply asked to meet his younger brother Aegon. The boy was like him, silver haired and lilac eyes.
He’d wanted to hate him. To demand that his father send Jeyne off to the Silent Sisters and that the boy be given away to the Faith or the Maesters to do as they wished but he couldn’t bring himself to do that either.
Instead he’d told his father that Aegon’s Rest would be his when he’d died and just as quickly as he’d returned he’d left again. Travel called to him and he’d wanted to show Jon Costayne Veraxes.
He’d spend a few years embarking on his travels, though he’d long leave Jon behind after offering him a position in Aegon’s Rest. His travels would take him to much of the Westerlands, the Reach, the Vale and the Stepstones where he’d met the Queen Rhaenys for the first time. There he’d live for a short period where he’d partake in their parties, meet a girl called Zhoe Whitemane.
Funny thing she was. A Valyrian with the touch of the North. Quickly he’d befriend her and eventually before he’d departed back home, he’d find himself as being more than just the average friend, the type that held hands scandalously.
His return to the Riverlands marked an interesting period. Aelor flies to all it’s corners, no regard for which Lord Paramount claims what domain. The skies of the land that holds Rivers are his and all who sit below them are under his protection, often he’d say he does so in the name of the King but what King?
Only time can tell.

Timeline

1 AC - Born to Baelor and Baela Belaerys.
7 AC - Moved to Aegon’s Rest after King Aegon’s death.
12 AC - Mother dies.
14 AC - Vibes with the Smallfolk around Aegon’s Rest a bit too much for his father’s liking, gets told he cannot leave the keep without his permission.
16 AC - Father decides he’s a shit heir and wants a new one so he weds Jeyne Westerling causing Aelor to run off to King’s Landing.
18 AC - Aelor under pressure from Jon Costayne decides to snatch up Veraxes on Dragonstone the year his younger brother and replacement Aegon is born, securing himself as heir.
19 AC - Begins to travel Westeros, goes to Summerhall and finds out that parties are kind of cool. Meets Zhoe Whitemane and becomes her bff4life.
21 AC - Settles back into Aegon’s Rest.
25 AC - Present.
Family Tree
Name and House: Baelor Belaerys
Age: 45
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: Long silver hair reaching his shoulders, purple eyes and a slender build. The Lord of Aegon’s Rest naturally appears unamused and irritated in appearance.
Trait:Inspiring
Skill(s): Tactician(e), Cavalryman
Talent(s): Fishing
Negative Trait(s):
Starting Title(s):Lord of Aegon’s Rest
Starting Location: Opening Party
Alternate Characters: N.A

Bio

Born twenty years prior to the Conquest to Monterys Belaery and his younger sister, Jaenara Belaerys. Baelor has two siblings, Baelon and a younger sister named Elaena. He spent his entire youth on Dragonstone until he’d grown to become a member of the household guard for the Targaryens.
During the Conquest, he’d land with Aegon at what is now known as King’s Landing with his father Monterys Balaerys, ever faithful warriors to the Kings cause. He'd die in the arms of his child during the Field of Fire.
He would go down as one of the hundred men who fell for Aegon against the Reach. Even now Baelor can recall the sight, he’d cut down two men when he’d witnessed his father fall as arrows riddle his aged body. Instead of pushing on and charging, Baelor would fall to his knees beside his father and seek to shield him as he looked up towards those banners in the distance.
A red huntsman preparing to let loose once more but then his savior would come. A bright flash turned everything in the distance into flame. He remembers men ablaze running in all directions as they cooked.
Aegon had burnt them too late but he did not blame his kin as his father died in his arms. This was the war they’d signed up for, the cause they’d devoted themselves to. All so they could fight and earn a place in what Monterys called the remaking of Valyria.
And so Baelor continued on in his father’s memory. Loyal and faithful as ever. When the Conqueror took the faith, so did he, when Aegon made North to face the Starks, he marched albeit well behind in the army.
Forever loyal to the cause that was Aegon Targaryen, as many were. But that cause would crumble when the Tullys killed his beloved King, a man he'd served, a man he'd die for, a True Dragonlord.
Much to Baelor's surprise he’d gain a Lordship, his line's long loyal efforts, their staunch desire to fight for the Targaryens and in truth partly sheer luck on his part given he was nothing but a knight swore to the Dragonlords had finally amounted to something.
Visenya would bestow upon him Aegon's Rest. To say that he was surprised would be an understatement. He had no great displays of valor, no moments where he’d made himself any more remarkable than any other man but the Queen had granted his line the burnt ruins of Riverrun, now named in the honor of the man he’d once served.
Still he knew that he was no true Lord, he was but a warrior who had served the Targaryens and he’d wanted his son to be more than that. He knew that his child could do what many before him had hoped for, that he could finally amount to something since the fall and this was his chance to make his ancestors proud.
The boy was young enough that he was easily shaped into the Westerosi way of life in the years following Aegon’s conquest. Aelor had to be a knight he’d thought, skilled in Rivermen matters, charming and bold. That was what Baelor had dreamt for Aelor but his son was anything but the making of a Knightly Statesmen.
Aelor was too slow with a blade, letters move about in his mind and made his Maesters grow tired of the boy and his temperament, oh how horrible the boy was they’d proclaim! Spoiled by his father and mother, by servants and smallfolk who’d thought him charming and sweet.
It was when his sister-wife died that Baelor would lessen his grip on Aelor. Grief overtook him and he’d hoped that would be the wake up call for Aelor but it wasn’t. The boy was a rebel, loved by the smallfolk but too darn incapable of being the perfect Lord he’d envisioned he’d be.
Many years later he’d decide he had enough. Baelor doesn’t recall calling his son a disappointment to his people but he did say the boy was not his heir and that he’d already found a new bride to make one with.
He’d wed Jeyne Westerling the next year and would sire a child with her the year after. They’d call him Aegon in honor of the Conqueror. It’d be months after the birth that he’d receive a letter from Raventree Hall asking for his assistance and given that he’d felt closer to the Blackwoods, Baelor would begin to raise his men in preparation for war.
That was when his son would return, a different man now with a dragon. He’d felt as if the dream had come true, that the House Belarys had returned to their true place on the food chain and he’d wanted to congratulate his son when he’d returned but Aelor fled, his brother Baelon would tell him that the younger Belearys had gone to fight the war.
That made him proud.
And that pride would shatter when Aelor returned and told him he’d stopped the war. The happy and charming boy stood before him stoic, quiet, as if he didn't want to be in the same room as him.
All his son would say was that he’d wanted to see his brother and he saw him. After that, Aelor would say Aegon’s Rest belonged to him and he’d have it once the old man died and that was rather sad to hear from one’s own son.
For years after Baelor would not see his boy but he’d hear that Aelor was see in this region or that region. He’d use the boon that came from having a dragonrider son to push himself into powerful places in various courts, Casterly Rock albeit he did not remain there long and of course across the Riverlands as a whole.
His goal was to display power through his son and even if he were away, he’d do it.
When Aelor returned he’d find that his son had forever been changed. No longer was he some great rebellious spirit but instead a man who believed himself better than even his own father. Some of the Smallfolk would even claim that he was the ‘Father’s Flame’.
They did not see his drinking albeit he’d stop eventually. They did not see how he’d carried himself as if he were some God.
Baelor knew that this was what every ancestor he’d had since the Doom had wanted but Aelor was different than most men now and that Veraxes was a pain in the ass to feed.

Timeline

20 BC - Born to Monterys and Jaenara.
2 BC - Sires the bastard Daemon which results in his parents wedding him to his sister, Baela the next year.
1 AC - Lands with Aegon and watches his father die in the Field of Flames due to the Reachmen.
7 AC - Aegon dies, he weeps for his King and Visenya grants him Aegon’s Rest. They dedicate a Dark colored sword akin to Dark Sister on their banners in her honor.
12 AC - Baela dies and he pulls away from his son Aelor.
16 AC - Tells Aelor to kick rocks and weds Jeyne Westerling.
18 AC - Aegon is born.
Baelon Belaerys - Magnate
Aemon Belaerys - Builder

Hello,
I’m a Turkish citizen who has never lived in Turkey until 2 years ago when i came to study.
Recently i’ve decided to go to Germany to surprise my Girlfriend for her birthday with the help of our friend.
My friend wrote me an invitation letter and I prepared the documents with the perfect wording and providing every document i can.
I needed to submit for the Schengen visa via a Handling Agency called “iDATA” , I waited for 2 months for my appointment, and After I got it i went to my Appointment with everything ready just to be surprised by the person who is on the application-control window to tell me that i need a “Sponsor Letter” because i’m a student and not employed.
I was stunned and told him that i do not have a sponsor and i mainly get my money from my Father, which he said that i can replace the Letter for a bank statement of my own account, following it with handing me a paper which he requested me to write on it in Turkish (which i do not speak) that “i don’t have a sponsor in turkey (because my family lives outside of turkey) therefore i have attached a Bank statement from my personal account” and my signature under it.
Later, the same day of application, the same employee contacted me via Phone and told me that i have a missing document which was a Receipt for my insurance,which i provided immediately via email.
And when i checked my application status on their website, it said i had missing documents, which i called iDATA and asked about and they told me that my application was complete and already sent to the consulate.
Around 15 days later, I was contacted to claim my passport, which i found a letter of rejection attached to it stating “we have reasonable doubts about you leaving the member state before the expiry of your Visa” and that iDATA informed me that i have missing documents which supposedly should’ve been the proof that I’m connected to coming back to turkey.
It was the biggest let down of my life!
I tried appealing but i must appeal to the Administrative Court in Berlin, which according to them will take around 8-10 months to process the appeal lawsuit.
This cannot be an option for me because my girlfriend’s birthday is in 1 month.
And the consulate/embassy does not accept any appeal letters.
I have checked a million times before applying and nobody told me anything about a “sponsor letter”, even on the Website of the embassy does not state anything about a “Sponsor Letter”.
You can check ((https://tuerkei.diplo.de/tr-de/service/05-VisaEinreise/-/2620994#content_1 , Number 3 - Section D).
Please can anyone help me with this? What can i do in this case ?
————— P.S: i have attached with my application a student enrollment letter to proof that i study in Istanbul. And i have attached a document which states that i live in Istanbul as my main residence.

title may make me sound deluded, but let me explain.
i [18F] have been with my girlfriend [17F], officially, for six months. we started talking to each other in august and then became official in december. she didn’t really ask me nor did i ask her, it was more a conversation where i said softly that if she didn’t want to be my girlfriend, i couldn’t keep her in my life - not in a horrible way, but i wanted a label and she wasn’t very out at the time so she wasn’t sure of what she wanted. i didn’t put any pressure on her and let her knew it was her call. she decided to be my girlfriend.
fast forward to now, and things have been good. we’ve bickered quite a bit recently but we are both have final exams and coursework due in, so i’ve tried to pin it down to that.
we were having a normal conversation over snapchat where i brought up the fact that our mutual friend was asking out the girl they’ve been speaking to via writing a letter. my girlfriend said she found it cringey but i said it was sweet. we then joked about how weirdly our relationship started.
i then asked her when she would have asked me out if i hadn’t brought up that discussion. she said she never would have. taken aback by this, i said that she said i love you a month in to our relationship, and asked would she seriously want to be in love with someone she isn’t in a relationship with. she said she would.
she went onto say that she sees me as a ‘really really really close mate that i love and find sexy’, which has given me complete whiplash. i definitely think you should be best friends with your partner, but she doesn’t see me as her girlfriend? i asked her this and she confirmed that, no, she does not see our relationship in those terms. she said that when she thinks of relationships, she thinks about being restricted. i said i am not here to restrict her, i just expect loyalty.
i’m hesitant to keep this conversation going. she has her first exam for her a-levels tomorrow and i don’t want her being focused on the wrong thing. but i feel really hurt and don’t want to leave it too long to discuss it. i’m quite hurt and annoyed and i don’t know the best way to navigate this.

The logo's 'D' transitioned the scene back to the studio, the shot showing all the former cast members on stage – the six losers on the right, the three guests on the left, and the two hosts in the center.
"Welcome back to the Aftermath show!" Damien said happily to the audience as they gave their applause. "We're currently talking with Izzy about herself and her time on the show!" The crowd cheered.
"Now it's time for Izzy to play Truth or Hammer!" Priya announced and turned to the quirky guest. "Season two started off so well for you. Where did things go wrong?"
“I think it was when I turned down that secret alliance with Chef,” Izzy dropped, causing everyone to gasp.
Damien looked up at the hammer and saw that it didn't lower down at all. “Chef actually tried to form a secret alliance with you?”
“Uh-huh. He said he'd help me win this thing if I shared the money with him,” Izzy answered.
“Whoa,” Geoff spoke out in surprise.
“Totally did not expect that,” Eva added.
Damien then heard something in his earpiece. “Hey, I think we've got a never-before-seen clip!” he mentioned as the camera panned up to the television.
After the static played out, the footage featured Chef and Izzy standing next to a trailer on the film lot. “I'll help you man up and win this thing. We split the prize money fifty-fifty,” Chef negotiated.
Chef held out his hand for a handshake, prompting Izzy to karate kick him out of view as an intern holding a clipboard watched from the background.
“Oh, I don't think so!” Izzy declined the offer, the intern becoming scared as the clip ended.
The shot focused on the hosts shocked by what they saw. “Wow!” Priya said.
“I can't believe Chef did that!” Damien commented.
“The impact was big though!” Priya mentioned as the part of Izzy kicking Chef in the chest was zoomed in and a circle was drawn around Izzy's foot. “Check that out!”
The clip now moved in slow motion as Chef flew away while Izzy bounced away from her impact, causing the camera to focus on the scared-looking intern.
“I'd advise that intern to run away!” Damien said while the intern's head was circled on, earning laughter from the audience.
“I would never hurt that intern,” Izzy claimed, and she back flipped in order to avoid the swinging hammer. “Whoa! Nearly got me that time.” The next shot showed the same intern watching from afar dropping his clipboard and running away due to what Izzy said.
“So then what happened after?” Priya asked Izzy.
“My guess is Chef went and made a demon deal with Brick,” Izzy theorized. “Yeah, I think Chef threw the acting challenge with Justin so Brick's team won and I lost. But, hey, what do I know?”
"Apparently, a lot," Priya remarked.
"How about we hear from another viewer now?" Damien looked down at the display in front of him. "Gluepunks350 asks, "Do you think Brick will get busted?"”
“Well, I don't know about Brick, but I busted my arm once. Yeah, look, now I'm double jointed.” Izzy bent her left arm backwards. “I'm doing it! Backwards!”
Damien felt weirded out. "I think we should move on to our next guest."
"Correct," Priya nodded as the camera panned back up to the hanging television. "Trent being here is quite surprising," she said as footage began to play of Trent talking to Geoff about the latter's tooth and him talking about the sleeping arrangements. "He is a Season 1 fan favorite after all."
"I agree with that," Damien said as the footage moved on to the guitarist offering Sky his toast. "Although he did start to slip up around episode two after seeing Sky and Chase become friends," he continued over Sky picking Chase for her team and Trent looking shocked.
"Not wanting to lose his girlfriend and the game, Trent tried depending on luck, and when that didn't work, he opted to throw the challenges in order to let Sky win thanks to Justin's advice on making her happy," Priya said over Trent attempting to put nine flags on his team's sandcastle, and then purposely tripping over a stick and being talked to by Justin.
“Luckily, Sky was not blind to Trent's subtle attempts to lose deliberately,” Damien spoke as the footage showed Sky getting annoyed over Trent's compliments and him throwing the rope to the ground and then the two of them talking to each other after bathing in a barrel, “and after a much needed talk, the two were able to resolve their problems.”
"Despite all this, Justin was able to gather enough votes to target Trent, and in the end, Trent's time on the show was over!" Priya finished, the clips of Justin talking to the girls about Trent's actions and the guitarist walking into the limo being played.
"Our next guest took down a serial killer and once got poisoned by a blowfish,” Damien recapped. “Please welcome Trent!"
The Aftermath theme played and applause issued from the audience as Trent walked onstage with a smile and his guitar in hand.
“We're live on the TDA Aftermath with Trent, everyone!” Priya announced while Trent waved for the camera and sat down next to Izzy.
“So what happened, Trent?” Damien got the interview started.
“At the start of the season, things were going great until Sky and I were split on different teams,” Trent delved in. “Then she and Chase started hanging out.”
“Jealousy can be quite common,” Topher muttered.
“True,” Sam agreed.
“Then the competition set in,” Trent resumed.
“We know there's something else,” Damien reminded.
“You mean, how stressful things got?” Trent answered.
“Yeah, and no. It mostly applies to you,” Priya stated. “Be careful how you answer this, because a humongous hammer can come down and knock you out of that couch!”
The musician was intrigued by this news before continuing. “Uh, I guess somewhere I decided Sky was more important than the money,” Trent said, and the hammer not coming down proved his honesty.
“I'm surprised you're being really cool with losing out on a million dollars,” Priya said.
“It's Trent. What else did you expect?” Damien told his girlfriend.
“I guess I just lost my game,” Trent sighed. “Really let my team down. Sorry, Grips,” he apologized to the camera, making the audience aww.
“I have to ask you about the number nine thing. Check it out,” Damien pointed up at the television, which was in static before fading to the clips.
“That's right. Nine turrets, nine doors,” Trent instructed as Brick and Jasmine poured more sand.
“Remember, nine of everything!” Trent added in, much to his teammates’ bother.
Sky's attention was caught by the number of sticks he carried. "Not to interrupt," she started to say, "but you're carrying nine sticks."
The focus was now back on Trent. “Dudes, there's a lot more to my number than it being luck!” he protested.
“You did depend on it for challenges because you wanted to win,” Gwen brought up.
“The number nine thing has nothing to do with Sky or the competition,” Trent debunked. “I had this toy train my granddad gave me as a kid. Right before he died. One of the wheels fell off, so there were only nine. I was devastated. So my mom told me nine was now my lucky number.”
After Trent finished his story, the camera showed shots of the hosts, the other guests, and the Peanut Gallery all reacting with sadness.
“Have you ever told Sky about this?” Katie asked.
“She is still your girlfriend,” Sadie pointed out.
“I haven't had time to, but I'll make good on my word,” Trent promised, and the audience applauded for him.
“We've got a lot of emails here,” Priya checked the display. “Snowgirl writes, "Trent, what kind of girl are you not into?"”
“Simple. They'd either have to be stalkers or the kind of girls that'd do anything to humiliate people for no reason,” Trent claimed.
"How about we check in on our web cams?" Damien suggested, leaning over to check the display in front of him. "We've got Ginger from Sudbury," he said before the camera pulled out enough to show the monitor, which flashed from static to a feed of a geeky young white girl with large glasses and her red hair in pigtails. "Hey Ginger!" Damien greeted as the young girl waved.
"Trent, I'd love it if you went psycho crazy over me!" the girl squealed.
“Side note, you've been getting a lot of admirers ever since you got eliminated,” Damien told Trent.
"Uh, yeah," Trent said uneasily.
"Thanks, Ginger," Priya said as Ginger waved once more and her feed cut to static. "We also have Steve," she looked at her display, "the...Yeti? From Vancouver!"
The static on the monitor cut away to show none other than Sasquatchanakwa, or at least something that looked very much like it. "Uh, how's it going?" Priya asked awkwardly.
"Chris McLean," the yeti began to say in a deep and growling voice before it faded into something much more familiar, "is the best host ever! How'd you get your own show?" He leaned towards the camera angrily, his long white teeth bared. "You stink!"
"Yo Chris," Chef's voice said from the yeti's end. "If I wanted to take a hot tub by myself, I-" The yeti smiled sheepishly. "Oh! You on the webcam?"
"Chris?" the two hosts asked in bewilderment as the audience roared in laughter.
Chef then got next to Chris. “Don't believe a word Izzy says,” he advised. “Girl's crazy.”
Priya and Damien looked at each other before the former spoke. "Now it's time for a segment that we like to call, 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark!'"
The crowd cheered as a short introduction was played with clips of various contestants getting hurt throughout the seasons scrolling across a sunburst pattern in a manner similar to part of the Gilded Chris ceremony introduction, albeit with a different theme tune.
Damien sighed happily as the shot cut back to him and Priya. "I do not miss getting humiliated."
"Here's what all of you didn't get to see on the show!" Priya looked back up as the television descended, and cut to the first in a series of clips set to a campy tune comprised primarily of a tuba, drums, and whistling.
The first clip showed Justin and Izzy walking backstage in their costumes during the acting challenge. Just then, a headlight fell and clubbed Justin on the head. "Looks like it's lights out for Justin," Damien said as the crowd laughed and a circle was drawn around the impact.
A bout of static heralded the second clip, in which Eva and Geoff were running through the beach set during the monster movie challenge. "This is a good one," Priya said as the monster stomped across the screen and left Eva and Geoff shaped holes on the ground, earning more laughter.
The third clip focused on Millie patting the sand castle for support until something bit her. She pulled her hand out and saw a crab pinched to her finger. "Ooh!" the hosts winced as a circle was drawn around the crab.
Next was a shot of Anne Maria twirling her lasso around. She threw it forward, but it got wrapped around her legs and pulled her down. "I don't even know what to draw for this," Priya laughed.
The next clip began to play. It consisted of nothing more than Mama Alien Chef walking forward with determination only to slip and fall on a pile of his own slime, his gun flying off-screen before a few shots rained back down on the fallen cook.
"Now that's gonna leave a mark," Damien said as Chef was circled and the scene cut back to the set. "With what's been happening," he said after a bit more laughing, "I am so glad I'm not competing."
“Do you guys think I could sing a song?” Trent asked Damien and Priya and held his guitar. “It's something I wrote after I left the show.”
“I'm not going to stop you,” Priya shrugged.
Trent strummed a beat to start his song, and the Peanut Gallery, Damien, Priya, Izzy, Geoff, and Eva listened attentively.
“We'll be separated for a couple of days,
And I know inside our heads our love stays.
I know I'll be okay, but I also know I'll be in a bad mood…
If I didn't show how much I love you…
And you love me too.”
When the song ended, the audience applauded and cheered heavily for Trent. “Sky, I want you to know that I'll be watching and rooting for you here,” he gave a shout out to his girlfriend, earning an 'Aww' from the audience.
"Now that is true love if I do say so myself," Priya gushed heavily with her arm on Damien's shoulder.
"Don't forget that ours is just as strong, if not more," Damien teased before he leaned in and kissed Priya, the audience oohing as the beginnings of a familiar tune began to play in the background.
“Could we get that hammer out here?” Izzy asked playfully and spoke to the camera. “I guess that's a wrap. Priya and Damien will see you next time!”
"You've got that right," Damien said as the kiss was broken and the Aftermath theme began to play.
"We've got a huge season coming up!" Priya added.
"And we'll be joining you again for another Aftermath!" Damien continued.
"Don't forget to follow Chris next time," Priya said with a smile, "for the next dramatically thrilling episode of Total! Drama! Action!" The audience cheered wildly, and another quick jingle played as the scene cut to the show's title card, the block letters gleaming one last time before fading to black.
(Roll the Credits)
(Bonus Clip)
The scene showed Izzy and Trent inside of the green room. Trent was in the middle of playing on his guitar and Izzy was helping herself to more food.
“So I gotta ask,” Trent said suddenly. “How come you didn't mind being called by your real name instead of “E-Scope”?”
Izzy stopped stuffing herself with crackers as soon as the question was asked. “Say what?”
“I'm talking about how the whole time you were competing, you'd act bratty because you weren't called by the name you wanted to be referred to as,” Trent pointed out.
“Well, I was repeatedly told that it was getting old and grating,” Izzy explained. “That kinda bummed me out cause I just wanted everyone to find it funny.”
“And they didn't,” Trent responded. “No offense.”
“None taken,” Izzy shrugged. “I'm not going to change my personality entirely, but the alter-egos should be taken down a notch. So about those secret admirers...”
“I don't even want to delve into those when I already have a loving girlfriend thank you very much,” Trent finished their conversation.
“Right,” Izzy nodded and returned back to her binge eating.
Eva - 14th
Geoff - 14th
Izzy - 12th
Trent - 11th
Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Brick, Jasmine, Justin, Millie
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, MK, Ripper, Scott, Sky

I am m17 and my ex is f16, and I need some advice. I still feel like there is a chance for us again, but I need some advice from another perceptive.
When I was 16 last year I met my ex-girlfriend and we dated for 5 months after knowing each other for 4 beforehand. We rushed our relationship, as it was our first, and we did a lot of things before waiting. We talked about marriage and how much we loved each other only after 3 months.
Last year she broke up with me because I didn't respect her boundaries. I would bike to her house late at night to try and talk to her about our problems and I destroyed our trust when we shared social media passwords (bad idea). Before she broke up with me she took a week's break to reminisce, I guess? Anyway after the break we hung out and it was good I was still obsessive and clingy so the day later, she broke up with me. From my perspective at the time it seemed like she just didn't want to communicate with me when she was angry or in her feelings but I've recently looked at our old texts and my heart has sunk. I was constantly spamming her, even when she was asleep and couldn't respond, sending paragraph after paragraph showing my insecurities. I won't get into what argument started all this, but I had found something I had no business finding from years prior that made me insecure for some reason.
Since then, after looking back at our old conversation the day we broke up, my perception has changed. She told me that she didn't want to break up but my neediness had gotten too much. The whole conversation I was ignoring her, and flaming her for "victimizing" herself.
I say ignoring, because today when I looked at the text a year later, I didn't recognize anything that she had texted me, but I remembered everything that I said.
That's going to be almost from a year ago (May 27th) and I still have never apologized to her about this, we have spoken since and apologized about other things but, truth be told I didn't think I did anything wrong until I re-read these texts today.
3 months later, after absolutely no contact (I was blocked, but she occasionally unblocked me from time to time as I can remember) She texted me saying "I know you probably hate me but I want to know if you're okay" I waited a bit to respond but eventually we had a calm and respective convo catching up a lil bit. The topic changed to "trying again" and she told me she wanted to, as she felt she made a mistake.
In my head, I was overjoyed. For the past 3 months, I had been waiting for this, not thinking about a single thing. But I didn't listen to my heart. Instead of using the no contact to heal and forgive, I had become full of loathing and pride. Since I didn't originally understand what I did wrong in our relationship, I had fully expected her to put all the effort into making our relationship work again, as I thought and assumed she would as in my eyes she was at fault. We met twice, just going on walks and talking. On the 2nd walk, I asked her about the guy she had met at a party and started getting defensive. She assured me it was nothing she only saw him at the party, and she didn't have feelings for him and she didn't pursue him at all, and for some reason, I didn't believe her. I still remember that walk, I kept bringing up the bad parts of our relationship instead of rebuilding it, which we had both agreed on before hanging out again. I was supposed to be having a sleepover with my friend but instead, I was walking around with her and it got very late.
Honestly looking back, I didn't care about her talking stage or how we broke up, I still had my heart set on being with her again regardless. But for some reason, it might have been pride, insecurities or both, but I kept constantly bringing it up, to get an apology out of her.
Then my friend's dad found us in his truck and screamed at me.
We haven't talked since.
But i was petty on social media and i had returned the gifts she had given me just to hurt her.
Fast forward to December, I decided I was going to send her a letter. I dont remember what was on that letter, but I know it was a bunch of begging fake apology bullcrap to say im sorry. It was not heartfelt, just a way to try and get her back but it seemed desperate.
I was desperate. She gave me a second chance and I blew it.
Weeks go by and I get a call from the police. Her mom went to them to tell them to not contact her anymore. I was heartbroken.
I listened to the police and didn't contact her.
I still look at her TikTok reposts all the time tho, and she still reposts a lot of stuff I think is about me. Her old friend and I talked a lot about how she felt in August when we tried again, and she told me that she hadn't been in a relationship since, and convinced me to send the letter. Anyways the tiktoks are Sometimes good, (TikTok's about still thinking about your ex, )and sometimes bad, (TikTok's comparing your ex to the Kendrick Lamar line: "I hate the way that you talk, walk, dress" 💀) I feel like that isn't enough though cuz shes probably just trying to live a tv life, by expressing tiktoks I dont know.
The whole reason I came here is that my friends saw her recently with another guy, but they told me she didn't look happy and they weren't holding hands.
We've been broken up for longer than we've been together and i haven't spent a day not thinking about her. I do think our relationship was worth it to me and i feel more mature but i feel that its too late. If anyone took the time to read this full thing, I am so grateful and I would love your advice.
Thank you.

I am m17 and my ex is f16, and I need some advice. I still feel like there is a chance for us again, but I need some advice from another perceptive.
When I was 16 last year I met my ex-girlfriend and we dated for 5 months after knowing each other for 4 beforehand. We rushed our relationship, as it was our first, and we did a lot of things before waiting. We talked about marriage and how much we loved each other only after 3 months.
Last year she broke up with me because I didn't respect her boundaries. I would bike to her house late at night to try and talk to her about our problems and I destroyed our trust when we shared social media passwords (bad idea). Before she broke up with me she took a week's break to reminisce, I guess? Anyway after the break we hung out and it was good I was still obsessive and clingy so the day later, she broke up with me. From my perspective at the time it seemed like she just didn't want to communicate with me when she was angry or in her feelings but I've recently looked at our old texts and my heart has sunk. I was constantly spamming her, even when she was asleep and couldn't respond, sending paragraph after paragraph showing my insecurities. I won't get into what argument started all this, but I had found something I had no business finding from years prior that made me insecure for some reason.
Since then, after looking back at our old conversation the day we broke up, my perception has changed. She told me that she didn't want to break up but my neediness had gotten too much. The whole conversation I was ignoring her, and flaming her for "victimizing" herself.
I say ignoring, because today when I looked at the text a year later, I didn't recognize anything that she had texted me, but I remembered everything that I said.
That's going to be almost from a year ago (May 27th) and I still have never apologized to her about this, we have spoken since and apologized about other things but, truth be told I didn't think I did anything wrong until I re-read these texts today.
3 months later, after absolutely no contact (I was blocked, but she occasionally unblocked me from time to time as I can remember) She texted me saying "I know you probably hate me but I want to know if you're okay" I waited a bit to respond but eventually we had a calm and respective convo catching up a lil bit. The topic changed to "trying again" and she told me she wanted to, as she felt she made a mistake.
In my head, I was overjoyed. For the past 3 months, I had been waiting for this, not thinking about a single thing. But I didn't listen to my heart. Instead of using the no contact to heal and forgive, I had become full of loathing and pride. Since I didn't originally understand what I did wrong in our relationship, I had fully expected her to put all the effort into making our relationship work again, as I thought and assumed she would as in my eyes she was at fault. We met twice, just going on walks and talking. On the 2nd walk, I asked her about the guy she had met at a party and started getting defensive. She assured me it was nothing she only saw him at the party, and she didn't have feelings for him and she didn't pursue him at all, and for some reason, I didn't believe her. I still remember that walk, I kept bringing up the bad parts of our relationship instead of rebuilding it, which we had both agreed on before hanging out again. I was supposed to be having a sleepover with my friend but instead, I was walking around with her and it got very late.
Honestly looking back, I didn't care about her talking stage or how we broke up, I still had my heart set on being with her again regardless. But for some reason, it might have been pride, insecurities or both, but I kept constantly bringing it up, to get an apology out of her.
Then my friend's dad found us in his truck and screamed at me.
We haven't talked since.
But i was petty on social media and i had returned the gifts she had given me just to hurt her.
Fast forward to December, I decided I was going to send her a letter. I dont remember what was on that letter, but I know it was a bunch of begging fake apology bullcrap to say im sorry. It was not heartfelt, just a way to try and get her back but it seemed desperate.
I was desperate. She gave me a second chance and I blew it.
Weeks go by and I get a call from the police. Her mom went to them to tell them to not contact her anymore. I was heartbroken.
I listened to the police and didn't contact her.
I still look at her TikTok reposts all the time tho, and she still reposts a lot of stuff I think is about me. Her old friend and I talked a lot about how she felt in August when we tried again, and she told me that she hadn't been in a relationship since, and convinced me to send the letter. Anyways the tiktoks are Sometimes good, (TikTok's about still thinking about your ex, )and sometimes bad, (TikTok's comparing your ex to the Kendrick Lamar line: "I hate the way that you talk, walk, dress" 💀) I feel like that isn't enough though cuz shes probably just trying to live a tv life, by expressing tiktoks I dont know.
The whole reason I came here is that my friends saw her recently with another guy, but they told me she didn't look happy and they weren't holding hands.
We've been broken up for longer than we've been together and i haven't spent a day not thinking about her. I do think our relationship was worth it to me and i feel more mature but i feel that its too late. If anyone took the time to read this full thing, I am so grateful and I would love your advice.
Thank you.

So this may seem a little off but I really need someone’s second opinion. So my girlfriend gave me her password to her phone but I’ve never looked through it till now and now idk what to do, so me and her both do a think to where we don’t snap the opposite gender as a sign of respect (which took many time of me insisting before she finally did). So we were at a party and k saw her phone laying there so I mean I was a little buzzed at the moment so out of curiosity I went to go look the through her snap only to find the that she had received chat notification form her ex that she dated two years ago (also her first boyfriend). It makes it worse because she has has one or two boyfriends after him. If I remember correctly that was around the time of his birthday so she may of been wishing him a happy birthday but even then I think that’s a little disrespectful when she’s already in a new relationship. But that wasn’t all, I clicked on in Bitmoji only to see that their latest saved snap was from February where she sent him a picture of herself holding her college acceptance letter (we’ve been dating for around 4 to 5 month prior to that snap). But on top of that, there were countless saved saved pictures in there chat but I couldn’t tell how recent bedsides the latest one but I assume she’s been in contact with him ever since they broke up. Maybe it’s a preference thing, but I feel like if you enter a new relationship then you should delete all the photos from you past that are saved in chat not only so they can’t look at photos of you while your in a new relationship but also as respect for your new partner. Her still having every picture saved and still occasionally keep in contact with each other makes me think that she still has feeling for him and or holds onto the pictures incase the get back together in the future.
I’ve made it known that I’m upset and found out something that I wish I don’t by accident but I don’t know how to go about confronting her or anything about it. Please lmk what’d you’d do form your perspective of all of this

Hello guys I’m a 21/M and I’ve been married to my 21/F for about a year and a half. I’ve know her since 9th grade in high school and I always liked her during that period of high school. I tried to date her but I was told that she wanted to focus on school before getting into a relationship. For me however I feel like I have some type of attachment issues, my parents were divorced in 2013 when I was still in elementary school so I saw my dad a lot less and then in 2018 I found out that my dad isn’t really my dad and that I have 6 other sisters. It’s weird
Back to the story though. We did date in like 11th grade for like 2 weeks but then broke up because she felt like it was affecting her school. I was in 2 different relationships during the period of high school and would always talk to my now wife about everything in them. Like talk about how things were going in it, the different struggles and annoyances I had in them. We even would play Fortnite a lot together during the Covid era since we were both far away from each other.
Now the reason we both got married. At the time in 2022 I was dating this other girl which I’ll call Kayla and I thought she was great, however she had some bad mental issues stemming from her home life. To make a long story short she called me to tell me she was gonna drive off a bridge because she couldn’t handle it any more then hung up on me. I started crying and freaking out so I called 911 but because we weren’t in the same state at the time they couldn’t help me. So I had to call a E9 in the navy to try to contact her command to help her out. She did get the help she needed but 2 days later she said she didn’t wanna be with me any more. We dated for a year and 7 months and it really hurt me bad. I even had a trip and flight planned to fly to go see her. That was out the window.
So because the ticket wasn’t refundable I decided to just change it to fly back home to see my mom. And back home was where my now wife was. I bascially texted her and wanted to see what she was doing . (I’m not gonna lie I really just felt lonely and hurt and didn’t know what to do with my self) we ended up going to the movies together and everything went fine. Then for some reason I had to urge to ask her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. It was 2 days before it was time for me to fly back home and I was happy I had someone to help fill that void. I know this might sound wrong but that’s what made me feel good.
She then leaves for basic training and we constantly are sending letters back and forth telling each other how much we love and miss each other. Then fast forward she’s in tech school and they have this thing called “exodus” where you could fly back home for Christmas and new years and instead of flying back home to flew back to my state and spent Christmas and new years with me. I ended up taking her virginity and we were both happy. For Christmas I got her a Xbox, new shoes, and some clothes. (She didn’t get me anything because the plane ticket was already expensive and she bought presents for her family, she already didn’t make a lot of money. Think like $700 biweekly and a $700 something plane ticket)
During this time she was with me we ended up going somewhere in town to get married. Part of it I feel like was because she got orders to go somewhere that’s not stateside and instead was going to Korea and for everyone who’s in the military and been to Korea y’all know what goes down there. I get I should have trust in her but just the voices from other people and stories I hear I just couldn’t take that. So we got married and they changed her orders to where I was stationed at. She moved in with me in 2023. And living with her for the first time wasn’t bad at all. I feel the worst part was maybe the differences we had with finances and what we spend money on but other than that it was great.
Now here’s the problem. Over the past few months I just feel just a little drained and disinterested in the relationship. I’ve started to think about other girls and think about life if I was single (I know I’m a disgusting pig) I haven’t cheated or anything. I have gone out a couple of times with friends to maybe take my mind off the negative things. But I still feel this way. We haven’t had sex in a week which is pretty long for us. And I have thought about divorce I just haven’t said anything. I do struggle with anxiety and depression and even take medicine before. I have offered counciling but when I bring it up she seems like she doesn’t wanna do it. Is the relationship over? How would I even speak to her about this without it turning into a bad situation. If we break up it would turn pretty bad financial situation for the both of us since we both completely rely on the other for support to pay the bills. Any advice is helpful. Thanks for reading..
Edit:—- So I spoke with her and told her I just felt that I wasn’t excited with her. Like when I come home the feeling of being excited that your favorite person in the world is at home waiting on you. I’m still happy just not excited. I still love her. She told me she doesn’t believe in breaks and it’s either we work through our problems or break up. After reading the comments I even brought up maybe we rushed into this and we need to learn to be independent with each other before trying to work on each other. And after that it was just kind of an idk. Like an hour later of being in different rooms, I came down stairs and just turned on an anime and we watched the new episode of demon slayer. After that she went outside for a walk and came back inside and was on the phone with her mom so who knows.
We have a trip planned to go back home in like 2 weeks or so. So we’ll use that time to be away from each other and think things through with our selves
EDIT: Thank you to everyone that left comments and advice on my situation (including the negative ones) they definitely helped me be able to think about every position and aspect of my situation. I do wanna stay with my wife and I know she does too. I don’t plan on having kids though until like 26-27. So I think I’ll be alright until then to see how we rock. But I’m confident in our path so far. I just need to work on myself mentally. Thank you

My name is not important. I was born January 2nd, 1993 with Cerebral Palsy. My mother and father were loving in raising me at an early age. So loving in fact, that my five year old sister became resentful of me and mistreated me for the next 15 years of my life. She would often treat me like I was useless, or ignore what I needed. I remember being 6 in the Santa Claus Day Parade with skin tight pajamas on in -15 weather. The doctor said I could've had hypothermia. I remember being 7 and watching the Hunchback of Notre Dame, with her saying "see, that's you!" as my mother bought me the Quasimodo doll. I remember being told that I would "Never make it" in highschool because I was a loser in her eyes.
This is where the problems started.
I can forgive my sister, for what happened, and have since move past it, but the self deprecation started there. It did not help that for a lot of my childhood, my father was clinically depressed and rarely talked about my life or needs or concerns. I still remember in February, 14, 2001 when Dale Earnhardt died him curled up into a ball on the couch. He became depressed for many years. I also got molested by my cousin around this time (which was a fun memory to remember)
With a Depressed father and antagonistic sister. My growing up life was less then ideal. Of course it didn't help that when my friends would come over for a sleepover, my sister would make fun of me. It taught them how to use my own insecurities and vulnerabilities against me, and it was pretty easy. Getting a word in edge wise while having a physical disability is pretty tough, and its even tougher when everyone labels you the goofy dumbass of the group.
This kept getting worse and worse until high school, where my friends would simply demean me. I felt like I couldn't compare to them, and they just wanted to see me do funny things. I quickly taught myself to be the court jester in order to crave attention: constantly demeaning myself in order to achieve the goals I needed to achieve. Demeaning myself was the only way I had control in a body that I couldn't control.
By Grade 12, I truly did hate myself. I got all the attention I ever wanted. Heck I even won Prom King. But still, people did not treat me as their equal. I was always the stupid one. This coupled with the fact that no girl was interested in me was very frustrating.
I went into University with the hopes of dating. I met a girl who was super Christian. Like the whole "I don't drink and have premarital sex" schpiel. She said if I became religous like her she would "definetely" fall madly in love with her. So I went to her church, did everything I asked, all for her to say at the end of it "No I can't date you. And I can't do it because your disability would be a burden on me". Might as well just killed me right there and then. But I moved forward
By the end of university I had graduated and become a school teacher. I soon then met my ex Girlfriend Christine. Christine also had Cerebral Palsy and lived in British Columbia. I fell for her. She fell for me. We would talk virtually for hours and we were both happy.
Until one day that happiness turned to abuse. Every weekend I would spend 4-6 hours helping her with her schoolwork, only for her to say that I was "selfish" and "not trying hard enough". Due to my depreciation of myself by most in my life, I believed her. And so I was now in a cycle of being with someone who would only show me love when I did things for her. Sometimes I would get emails that said "I wish I could hit you". And somehow, I kept going
She pressured me to move to British Columbia to be with her 3 years later. There was no way she could move to me. Her mother (who I believe now is a narcissist), would always get involved in our conversations and the two would gang up on me, beating down any kind of backbone I could have. As her mother said to me once, "Remember Darrell, I always get my way"
I moved to BC. in July 2022 I felt relief at first as I thought I would never have to fear Christine again. I mistook my elation for freedom, when in actuality it is submission. As soon as I got to BC, I began to be heavily abused by her mother and her. Her mother for example, called me the nickname "boy". Like "Hey boy, go get something out of the fridge". She also once yelled at me for saying "Hi" to her in a text, because that was disrespectful and I am "Not like one of your students".
It just kept getting worse. Every day I would trudge over to Christine's house (a 1.5 km walk), and I woud sit with her and help her with feeding, or video games, or art, or schoolwork. I became enmeshed in her life, considered myself co-dependent. I didn't think about my needs or wants anymore, only hers. After all, that's what I thought being a good boyfriend was. I went home in September for a week. Christine was angry with me, calling me not dedicated enough. She would call me a piece of shit when she was mad at me.
I started thinking I was co-dependent. I even made A reddit post about it here:
https://www.reddit.com/AmItheAsshole/comments/xaesky/aita_for_going_home_and_seeing_my_parents_instead/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
This should've been the biggest hint looking back, but I kept thinking that I was the problem. So I went back home and I read a book about Codepedency. Eventually I contacted the author and sat with her for a session. I wrote the following in my Explanation to her:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1alWZHZW8oCY3qJrQCLZ86Me1K_vuQqTM/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=100060198783867941141&rtpof=true&sd=true
And you want to know what she said when I asked for a solution? "I don't know". Because if someone is codependent on you (as I realize now my girlfriend was with me), the whole point is to make them do thing independently. Except you can't do that with someone with a disability. So, I'm now entering a territory where solutions to my problems DON'T EVEN EXIST.
September and October go by. Christine and I talk about me being more independent. She says she agrees but then goes back to her old ways. I ask her in November, "Can I go home to see my parents?" she responds with "I guess you're not committed to me". And accuses me of being a Mama's boy. Her mother gets in on this, and when I say my sacrafices should prove my dedication to her, she responds with "she's sacraficed by waiting for you". So I am convinced and I tell my parents I am not coming home. My parents get even more worried that I am getting controlled (and I am). My sister gets involved. She tells me I'm no longer part of the family because I keep going back and forth between going and not going. She thinks I am being abused. She's totally right, but at this point I am being brainwashed to think that I am not enough and need to prove it to Christine and her mother. She tells me to "not bother coming home". So I now have 3 people constantly calling me a shitty person: My sister hates me because I am not coming home. Christine hates me because I am not good enough for her, and her mother, Nansey is reinforcing all of this heavily.
To make matters worse, Nansey is constantly age regressing me. If I want to go to a movie with Christine, I must schedule it with her mother. If I want to stay over and cuddle Christine, she must call her mother in approval. I can only take the route home she approves walking home, otherwise she will get angry at me. I must keep my apartment tidy at all times. She wants me to buy certain foods. She will tell me if I am being fair to Christine or not. Lots of Triangulation between the 3 of us: some in my favor, some not, but always with her mother in control. If I get mad, her mother says that I have anger issues.
With these three forces constantly pulling me, I begin to develop CPTSD. It is a 4-way psychological abuse, where I must pick between my family (with a member who hates me), and my best friend (who Ashley has gotten involved) or my partner (who also hates me). Either way I am screwed. A paradox. So the tug of war begins for the next few months. My body is storing all of this trauma, not knowing what to do with it. I begin to experience dissociation, and derealization. I remember putting my hand on a stove to see if I could feel it (Thanks Kanye for that idea). My cerebral palsy is already brain damage, so we are now adding brain damage on top of brain damage.
My cerebral Palsy coupled with CPTSD begins to destroy my body. I am constantly tight due to CP, and now the PTSD gets added to the mix and I need the hardest dopamine hits imaginable to stay alive. I turn to pornography and masturbation as an outlet, acting like a feral animal in order to stay afloat. Every Saturday, I begin my night after seeing Christine by getting an edible, wearing a diaper (which I found self soothing however fucked up it is), and I masturbate.
But as the pressure begins to get to be too much, I start getting addicted to crazier and crazier pornography in order to keep myself alive. I am fully dissociating when I do this, because I don't want to feel anything. I basically become suicidal and think to myself "what's the point of even existing" and start doing anything to get that hit. It is at this point I begin to turn to CP (yes that kind) in order to fulfill my urges.
I go home at Christmas. My sister is still angry at me and I am scared of being around her too. She gets my best friend to yell at me and they both make me feel like shit. On New Years Eve, I write a suicide letter. I have full intentions to end it.
But I go back to BC and the trauma bonding continues. I keep telling Ashley that I know Christine is bad for me, but I can't have the confidence to end it. Of course, now I know that it is trauma bonding. This continues for another few months, as I try to make both sides happy.
In March, my sister wanted me to go to a MUSE concert, and so I secretly flew out to Ontario to see the concert, all while faking a background in my room to make it appear to my girlfriend like I was back home (this is how scared I was). After the concert, I get on a plane back to BC just so I can see my girlfriend for 2 DAYS, then fly back to Ontario for a week. Essentially I did 2 round trips from Ontario to BC in a 72 hour span, just to make other people happy while lying to both sides.
By April, Summer was fast approaching and I had very little money left. Nansey suggested at the age of 31 that I work at Red Seals Summer Camp, a job usually designed for teenagers. I realize I have to get out or I will be age regressed to forever.I decide to commit to my old job late April.
At the beginning of May, Christine yells at me from 10 AM, to 8 PM over texting because her mother wouldn't allow her to make a video call. When her mother leaves, she turns on video and yells at me until her worker forces her camera off No matter what I do, I can not make her happy. I know the end is approaching. I want to go over to her house to end it the next day, but she won't let me.
I leave to go see my parents on May 24 weekend. When I come back, Nansey will quarantine me for 2 weeks at my house. I need to break up with her face to face. And after a week, I get that chance
I meet them in public, in the park. Nansey comes over to me with a written list of demands and "stop signs" for the both of us. She demands that if either one of us get mad we hold up the stop signs. As soon as she leaves I listen to Christine talk and read her demands, On it? "When I am angry, please don't respond to me"
These aren't written by Christine, they're by her mother. I tell Christine that I cannot tell the difference between her and her mother. I tell her its over, and walk away with the stop sign and list of demands in hand. Nansey eventually finds me and rips these out of my hands. I am terrified. I run home and lock my doors. I type an account of everything that happens. I go to the police, but no crime has been committed according to them,
I am all alone in BC now with very few allies. I am terrified as Nansey could come any time she wants, I block her on everything so she cannot speak to me. But back in September, I gave my copy of the apartment contract to her to make photocopies. She keeps these and starts harassing my landlord. She says that whenever I drop items off at the house (to give Christine back her stuff) I am harassing them. I want to die, but as long as I stay in my house I am okay. I start selling my stuff hoping to go back home by July. I even start to heal a bit, but I am so terrified that I am constantly in a Freeze because of the looming threat of Nansey
And then the cops came and seized my house 2 weeks later. Throughout all of this time while being totally traumatized, totally terrified, and completely abused, I had used CP. They take me out in handcuffs and seize most of my electronics. I had used CP because while being abused I was suicidal and hated myself. An act of self destruction, taken to the max by a brain that had both Cerebral Palsy and CPTSD to manage. Also a way to masturbate and still get the cortisol out of my system.
I am in a cell for 6 hours. The police talk to me but I am barely in sane mind. The lawyer I talk to says that they'll just search my stuff. They find CP in a few areas. When they ask why, I only respond with the word "Innocence".
I am back in ontario now, its been 6 months and they're still doing the investigation. My life is over, and I don't think I had any control over any of it. And it was due to CP, CPTSD, and CP
I am pretty sure I will end my life, as after doing extensive research its nearly impossible to prove in Canadian court that Psychological Abuse caused either mental illness or automatism.
So this is how my life ends. I will be ending my life in just a few days. I have no idea whether I am a good person or not. Perhaps this is up for you to decide. But I am happy that my life is coming to an end. Nobody should have to go through what I have been through
Good night

hi! i i just wanted to rant a little bit and kinda see if i can help anybody out if your significant other is going to BMT soon!! my boyfriend (24m) joined the air force last year and went to BMT April 13th (it’s been almost a month now!!!). the first 2 weeks are the hardest, honestly. close to nothing from them, the only thing i got was my visitor pass mailed to me and a 1 minute phone call of him sobbing and saying he missed me. after that 2nd-ish week, it gets a lot better. the aim high app posted pictures of his flight, i think ive gotten like 10 letters in the span of 2 weeks and 2 more phone calls (one today for mother’s day and then last sunday). i know he mentioned that there were a few people on his flight getting them into trouble and getting phone privileges taken away from everybody so i think he would of gotten a phone call every week if that hadn’t happened the start of the this week he’s going to the gas chamber and man i am so nervous for me (girlfriend with high anxiety problems) the main thing i was worried about was a lot of people said that their significant others changed and that they lost interest after BMT - i can already tell he’s changed in the way he’s been speaking on the phone, but in a good way. he seems more confident, more assuring of himself and that this is where he needed to be at that exact moment. so, don’t give up on anybody in BMT! it’s after the 2nd week that it’s gets easier and easier as every day passes on. 24 more days until his graduation!!

Having read a comprehensive book detailing the Hart Family/ Stampede Wrestling, as well as books by Bret Hart, Bruce Hart and Dynamite Kid, I can say it was great to hear from someone who was spoken about in all those books. It is fascinating to see all the intersecting points of view when it comes to anything Hart Family related.
Bret Hart book
Bruce Hart book
History of Stampede Wrestling book
History of the Hart Family as documented in various books
Dynamite Kid book
This book was short and a quick read, but you could tell it was written with honesty and truth. She doesn't shy away from her own mistakes and issues while detailing the own POV on a relationship where most people have only heard from Bret.
As always, it's done in chronological order. I hope you find it as interesting as I did...
Julie had a truly wild and horrific youth experience between being sent to juvenile detention centers and dealing with genuinely abusive step parents. She is honest and critical of her own behaviors as well and doesn't like the choices she made. I grew up in the area where she spent her teenage years, and I can confirm that the seedy ghetto areas of Saskatchewan are genuinely gross and terrifying places to be when you're young and directionless.
She talks about how she was r*ped while hitchhiking as a teenager and got pregnant. She gave the baby up for adoption and tried to press charges but got cold feet and ran to another neighboring city. She was afraid the man who assaulted her would escape the charges and come after her again. She was young and naively thought that if she had just switched towns, she could escape everything. When a cop found her, he accused her of running because she was lying about the assault. This type of bullshit is why women don't come forward.
Julie was working in Regina, Saskatchewan, at the arena where wrestling was held when it came in town. That's where she first saw Bret Hart, and Bret saw her too. He ended up asking her boss Gil to introduce the two. Bret spoke about this in his book, too, how Julie caught his eye while he was in the ring. Gil later warned Julie that dating a wrestler is risky because they have a lot of "stops on the road." Julie didn't understand that Gil wasn't criticizing or accusing Bret of anything, but how he knew how wrestlers were on the road, in terms of meeting women.
Julie speaks favorably on how Bret treated her younger sister Michelle (the future wife of Dynamite Kid) but I remember in Bret's book, him describing in detail how attracted he was to the underage Michelle when he met her. Julie says Bret treated her like a sister, and her book came out after Bret's, so I'll take her word for it.
Julie moved in with Bret in Calgary just a few months into their relationship and she remembers being a wreck of nerves and anxiety ay the start, unable to cook or even attend the big Hart Family Sunday dinner. Eventually, Bret got her out to the Hart house where she met Stu and Helen Hart. Helen was a sweetheart, but she remembers Stu eying her up and down, with Julie saying, "He gave me the once over." Adding, "Stu judged women on their teeth and legs." She said Stu stared at her teeth and legs as if she were a race horse he was inspecting.
Julie remembers how Stu would turn any conversation into something about wrestling. She mentioned being a Saskatchewan Roughrider fan (Canadian football team), and Stu went on a rant about Gene Kiniski, who briefly played for the Edmonton Eskimos This made me chuckle as Stu and Gene had a but of a rough relationship since Stu gave up on Gene when he was a rookie and hurt his knee. Gene went to Toronto where "Whipper" Billy Watson essentially turned Gene into the big name star he was known for.
In Bret's book, he described the first night Julie came to the Sunday Hart dinner and when Julie passed on the salad, Bret's sister Diana Hart snapped on her saying, "What, you're too good for fuckin' salad!?" Bret says his mom responded by saying to Julie, "So you met Bret's sister Diana." In Julie's book, she describes this event as well but doesn't mention the funny line from Helen. She says Bret just took Julie and decided to leave immediately. Bret's other sister, Georgia, followed them outside and apologized on behalf of Diana and excused Diana by pointing out how pregnant Diana was at the time.
Julie actually puts over Diana quite a bit and says she actually came to admire Diana for how outspoken she was. She says Diana had a great style and was a gifted artist. After reading so many Hart related books, it's refreshing to hear something positive about Diana. Diana is the "Black sheep" who married "The British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith. Diana would write a scandalous and legal minefield of a book in 2001 called "Under the mat." It was quickly pulled from shelves after Owen Hart's widow Martha threatened legal action over what was said about her and Owen. Bret and Bruce Hart also denounce the book, calling it mostly lies, but not everything can be written off as fiction, including stories, some wild stores about Dean Hart. I desperately need this book.
Julie said she never got over the sight of Bret Hart eating an avacado as if it were an apple.
While Bret was in Japan wrestling with his brother Keith, Julie said she spent a lot of time with Keith's girlfriend. It was Keith's girlfriend who smartened Julie up to how wrestling works. Up to this point, she believed it to be legit, and even Bret had been selling it like this to her. She was furious, and when Bret called, she told him they were done and hung up on him. The next day, Bret's older brother Bruce stopped by to help her understand kayfabe and how silly it all was. Julie says she ended up feeling bad for reacting like that and yelling at Bret, but she says he forgave her immediately. Bret tells this same story in his book, adding details of how Julie would worry and stress about Bret Hart being brutalized every night.
Here's something I dont remember from Bret's book. He knocked up Julie very early into their relationship, and Julie got an abortion. She said they both weren't ready for being parents, but Julie says she was deeply saddened by their choice. She never expressed these misgivings with Bret, and assumes Bret was relieved, she didn't make it any more difficult on them. To Bret's credit, maybe he didn't mention it in his book for Julie's benefit. Or he did mention it very briefly, and I missed it.
Julie remembers accompanying Bret on a trip overseas where they went to a freaky sex show place where they had "baby tigers and lions and torture rooms."" She says at one point Bret got tied up on a table and was playfully whipped.
On this trip, Julie remembers a woman hitting on Bret right in front of her and had to yell at her to back off while Bret laughed. Julie was pissed and made them go back to the hotel. Once there, Julie was mouthing off to Bret before he grabbed her and "bodyslammed" her into the flower bed. He offered to help her up afterwards but she told him to fuck off.
A week later Bret came home smelling of perfume and Julie says she just snapped. She said she grabbed him and dug her finger nails into his face and eyes. She says Bret later would tell her that he never saw her the same after this incident. I don't remember Bret describing Julie ever getting physical like that in his book, but he did describe a lot of shouting matches.
Julie says she and Bret got married after her younger sister and Dynamite Kid. She says they got married in secret because Bret didn't like his siblings much and said they didn't deserve to be part of it.
When Julie was pregnant again this time they felt ready to start a family. Though Bret made Julie not tell anyone for the first 5 months of her pregnancy and when he "told" his parents, it was through a letter he left on their bed before he left for a wrestling tour. Julie remembers feeling hurt by this because Bret would say his parents always wanted their children to start families with someone who had money, a significant name and an education. Julie had none of those things and while she doesn't say it, you get the feeling that she thinks Bret was ashamed or embarrassed by her.
When she got pregnant again, she says Bret was mad at her for not being more careful with birth control. She says she became very irritable and bitchy throughout the pregnancy and always found something to be mad at Bret for. She is super critical of her behavior here and doesn't excuse it.
The night she gave birth, Bret left to go out for drinks, despite Julie asking him not to in case her water broke. When she woke up at 5am to her water breaking, she was furious that Bret didn't come home yet and had to call a friend to get her to the hospital. Bret was a no-show for her entire delivery and missed his second child being born. Julie says she was furious and seriously considered divorcing him then.
When Bret started touring with WWF, he was gone for much longer periods of time and this strained their marriage. Working for WWF really put a strain on Bret and filled him with confidence issues as well. She said between his self doubt and her loneliness, their marriage was barely holding on.
She remembers how Bret would call from the road and bemoan about how lonely he was. I'm reminded of his book, how he would complain about feeling lonely, then complain that the guilt of cheating on Julie was too much.
Julie says she got a literal itch and went to a doctor who told her that she caught "something" from a public washroom. A suspicious Julie went home and threw all her bedding in the garbage and then thought to check on her suspicion. She looked through their phone bills to find that Bret was placing a ton of calls to a girl from New Jersey and that he even kept the receipt for a Christmas present he bought this girl!
Julie describes how Bret called and she just screamed "I want a divorce!" Before she hung up and ripped the phone cord out of the wall. Eventually she agreed to go meet him and they started yelling at each other in a parking lot after a show. She says at one point Bret through a can of budweiser at her head, hitting her! She says wrestler Les Thorton got between the two and tried to calm them down. She remembers screaming how she won't get in the car with Bret and Bret yelled back, "Don't be stupid, get in the car! Your embarrassing yourself!" She says Bret later said the girl meant nothing to him and Julie should be greatful that Bret isn't addicted to drugs. Wild. At one point when they were back in the hotel room, a girl called the room asking for Bret and Julie snapped, breaking a lamp.
In Bret's book, he described how he decieved both Julie and this girl from New Jersey, neglecting to tell this side girl that he was married until she was head over heels in love with him. Bret talks about how tough this was for him and says that Stu and Helen Hart talked Julie out of leaving him.
Julie says their relationship was never the same after the affair. She couldn't trust him again.
Julie says when her grandmother died a few months after the affair, Bret was calling her everyday to check in but she said "I couldn't have cared less about those calls."
Julie says it was around this time that she and Bret started to regularly do cocaine. She said the coke helped her not think about the affair and how she would ask Bret to score some if she couldn't get it out of her head. She said she would do coke and sleep in the car just to avoid Bret. She suggests this all slowed down when Vince started cracking down on coke use with drug tests.
She speaks highly of Vince McMahon, this book was written in 2013, and she is greatful for what Vince was able to provide for her family and the opportunity he gave Bret. She says when she first met Vince, he was wearing a suit and sneakers. When she asked Bret why he wore sneakers, Bret said "so he can get around." During the show she noticed Vince was all over the place during matches, never sitting still and always running around from one person to another.
Julie remembers meeting Ozzy Osbourne at Wrestlemania 2 and "marking out" because he was her idol as a teenager. After the show, she says Ozzy was present as everyone had drinks at the hotel and Dynamite Kid spiked her drink. She said she could barely stand and Dynamite just laughed at her the whole time.
Julie notes how devoted Bret was to making sure his kids had the best toys, and how Bret would drive to every toy store before Christmas and find what the kids wanted. She appreciates this but also wishes Bret didn't miss so many plays and dances and activities due to his schedule. She was starting to really resent wrestling and wanted Bret to quit. She hated having this big house that felt empty most of the time without Bret home. In Bret's book, he wanted her to get a job to fix her loneliness.
She says her 3rd pregnancy was easier than her second and Bret was very sweet to her and praised how good she looked.
Julie brings up how devastated Bret was when his brother Dean died in 1990. She remembers watching him wrestle the next night at Survivor Series ppv and seeing the pain on his face. Bret talks about how tough this was in his book and how much shame he felt. Dean needed a kidney transplant and none of the Hart brothers stepped up. Bret didn't want to derail his career. Though you can't blame anyone more than Dean himself, who was stubborn and often went against doctors orders, so even with a mew kidney, Dean may have still died.
Julie talks about continuing her partying and drug lifestyle into the early 90s when she would party with a local band and inviting them to live at her house. She said Bret was very understanding and never pushed her for details on those nights out. Some nights Bret would watch the kids all night while Julie was getting fucked up and partying.
On of those musicians, Marc, was very close with Julie and while Julie never says she hooked up, she does say her younger sister Michelle did hook up with Marc, a bunch of times in secret. She doesn't specify if this was before or after Michelle left Dynamite Kid, but she says Marc did move in with Michelle and help her with the kids. This would have been after Dynamite went back to UK, since I'm sure Dynamite would have kicked the door down and attempted to murder Marc if this were in the final months of of Michelle and Dynamite's marriage.
Julie's brother committed suicide and Julie didn't have the support system around to prevent her from spiraling into heavy drinking.
In 1996, Bret Hart was filming a movie (Sinbad) in South Africa and halfway through, asked Julie to come join him. Julie is very honest about how she was self sabatoging her life at this point but was still deeply in love with Bret. She was excited to read an early draft of some Shakespeare work that was at a museum, but Bret couldn't be bothered to go with her so she went by herself.
She says her and Bret shared a perfect moment watching the sun set, but Bret got mad at her when she decided to record it.
Julie describes sneaking cigarettes because Bret didn't know she picked the habbit up again.
The trip ended when Julie was asking Bret something but he just ignored her several times in a row. When she finally looked at what had his attention, she saw he was gawking at a topless sunbather on the beach. She stormed off to the hotel room after telling Bret to show her more respect than that. Julie says Bret followed her to the room, with him saying she always ruins these trips. When Julie started packing her bags, she says Bret pushed her hard onto the bed. She started spewing insults at him, before, she says, Bret grabbed her by the hair and threw her from the bed and onto the floor! Julie says she started crying and demanding that Bret get her home immediately or else she would find someone who would. Bret screamed at her "Get the fuck out! I've had it with you! We're fucking done! I will put you on a plane tonight, but don't expect to win me back!"
Having read Bret's book, he does mention the trip to South Africa where he filmed the Sinbad movie. But Bret makes no mention of inviting Julie on the trip and instead points out how it coincided with a WWF tour in South Africa at the same time. Bret does talk about how the Dutch found the area and how beautiful itnwas there, which was something Julie mentioned as well that Bret talked about. Bret does mention getting a lot of ladies phone numbers on the last few days of the trip and seeing a drunk Yokozuna swapping spit with some South African PR woman when they were both very drunk. Bret makes no mention of Julie being there or how he got physical with her.
The Hart's always try to shy away from controversial truths, just ask any one of them where Bruce Hart met his wife. They will all say at a wrestling show, and neglect to mention how Bruce Hart was a 33 year old substitute teacher who knocked up his 17 year old student. Gross. (I'll never not bring this up when talking about the Hart's btw)
Julie talks about Mathew Hart, Georgia and BJ's son who died in 1996 from Necrotizing Fasciitis, a legitimate flesh eating virus. From everyone's account, the poor boy suffered for 2 weeks until he died. Julie says she and Bret took their kids on vacation when the poor kid died. A lot of people act as though the Hart Family curse started at the Screwjob in 1997, but really it started with Dean in 1990 and Mathew in 1996.
Julie remembers how gleeful Bret was when he called her up and bragged about giving a drunken Vince McMahon his tag team finishing move. Julie warned Bret that Vince wasn't the type to forget that and she suspects that it played a part in the screwjob. This sounds silly imo but what do I know, I found it an interesting and unique take if nothing else.
Julie remembers the morning of the 1997 Survivor Series ppv, someone warned Bret that Vince and Shawn were seen the night before talking and getting into an elevator together.
Julie says she and her lawyer were sitting somewhere in the arena as the Montreal Screwjob happened. Julie says she got up, looking at the monitor and said, "Holy shit, that's not supposed to happen!" And her lawyer, also shocked, said, "No, it is not."
Julie says she and the layer had to sprint to catch up to Bret and Vince and she describes her scolding of Triple H and Shawn Michaels, saying the words just poured out of her. It's maybe the most memorable scene of that documentary, watching Triple H and HBK shrink into children as Julie dresses them down.
Julie says the 1997 holidays were anything but cheerful and says she was boozing a lot and doing coke "from time to time."
Julie wanted to get a nanny or house keeper but Bret refused and put his foot down on the subject.
Julie says Bret asked for a divorce in early 1998 and she handled it poorly. She is critical of her immediate response to run away from home and stay at a hotel. When she returned home for clothes, her confused daughter asked her what was going on and a rageful Julie said "Your dad wants a divorce and I can't stay in the same house as him anymore! Julie says she was so blinded by her anger she didn't see the damage she was doing then.
Julie says that the Wrestling with Shadow's documentary crew needed Julie and Bret to reshoot something that didn't come out right when they originally shot it. So Julie and Bret had to pretend to be a in a marriage again talking things out about Bret's career. Julie says her and Bret slept together after they shot the scene and she was hurt when Bret said afterward, "One for the road, I guess."
The next time she heard from Bret, he told her to get a lawyer because he had one already.
Julie says she and Bret spent many nights yelling at eachother over the phone, with Bret calling her a whore and saying he didn't take all those bumps so Julie to take all his money. This is a statement Bret would repeat a lot to Julie over the years of them fighting. He would call her a money grabbing whore and how he didn't take a bunch of bumps so Julie could end up with the money.
Just as Julie was ready to sign custody papers, Bret's personal assistant contacted Julie and told her that Bret had been seeing some girl in the States for months. The assistant said she felt guilty arranging their meetups behind Julie's back. Julie said she later told Bret that she isn't signing shit and she needed to contact her lawyers with the new developments. She said Bret first tried denying it, calling his assistant jealous and a liar. Then Bret blamed Julie because Bret said he "couldn't get past her traumatic past." What the fuck Bret, I'm pretty sure he is referring to Julie being sexually assaulted as a teenager. (He makes this clear later in the book) Then he bragged about his new girl looking better than Julie and being younger than Julie, with Bret also saying the kids will love the new girl. Bret even later said Julie was getting heavier and letting herself go.
Pretty wild story here. Julie says that Bret started neglecting the kids, even when he was in town, and often skipped out on seeing them altogether. For Canada Day 1998 Bret promised to take them out and to the fireworks. Julie says they waited all day, expecting a fun evening with their dad. But Bret didn't show up with their friend Dean, until after 9pm, (stoned and drunk according to Julie) after Julie tried to call Bret repeatedly and got no answer.
Julie isn't proud of this, but says before Bret arrived that night, Julie had sat the kids down and told them Bret was off smoking pot with a new girlfriend. Julie knew immediately she shouldn't have said it, she saw her kids starting to cry and knew she tarnished how they look at their dad.
Bret was pissed off that Julie decided to take the kids to the fireworks, and when Julie had herself and the kids in the car, an enraged Bret started punching the drivers side window until Julie agreed to get out and talk.
Bret grabbed and dragged her off around the corner of the house where Julie defiantly told him that the kids know he smokes pot and is seeing someone else.
Julie says Bret snapped, slammed her hard up against the wall and yelled, "You bitch! I hate you! I hate you!" Then Julie claims that Bret grabbed her by the throat and slammed her on the ground where he continued to choke her until their son Blade came around the corner and screamed at Bret to get off his mom!
As Julie was catching her breath, their friend Dean, who was still there and in shock, tried to help Julie up. Bret took off with their son Blade and a panicked Julie called the police. She foolishly said to the 911 opperater that her husband pro wrestler, Bret Hart, had taken her child againt her will. The police arrived and seemingly didn't know who Bret was, tried to get Julie to press charges. The police were able to call Bret and convince him to bring the kid to the police station, so the cops could bring him home. Bret makes no mention of this in his book.
Julie says Bret stopped by the next day and apologized and tried to ask her to sit down for coffee. Julie explained how they scarred their children for life the night prior and she wasn't interested in speaking to him in friendly terms yet.
Julie defends Bret a bit by saying she could see in person that she wasn't the cause of his anger and that he was just deeply angry and disappointed with things. This would be 1998 and even Bret describes how bitter and despondent he was at this time. Julie says he stopped being around the kids and it hurt them, especially their boys Blade and Dallas who started getting a chip on their shoulders and seeking conflict. One time Julie asked Dallas about Bret and Dallas said, "He never calls and is never around."
Julie says things were getting stable but she and Bret started secretly sleeping together again and complicated things. She says Bret would pick her up and drove to a seedy part of town before casually dropping her off at home after. She says she was initially amused by this but eventually began to wonder how many other women Bret does this with. It made her feel uncomfortable to say the least.
One time as she was being dropped off, Julie asked Bret if he was happy. Bret said no and that he couldn't get happy. Then Bret asked if Julie was seeing anyone, but didn't let her answer, he just said "of course you are." Julie realizes now that Bret was suffering some deep depression and at the time she mistook codependency for love.
Eventually Bret's other girlfriend caught wind of his and Julie's rendezvous and made Bret break things off. Julie could hear the woman on the other end of the line when Bret called to inform Julie that they need to set boundaries in their relationship now.
Julie says Bret once called her to say he tested for hepatitis and that Julie should get checked out as well.
Julie later found out that the girl Bret was seeing was nearly the same age as their daughter.
Julie says her and Bret continued to sleep together behind his girlfriends back though, with Bret always asking for "coffee" before making a move, which Julie always reciprocated.
Bret would break up with his girlfriend near the end of 1998 and ask Julie if he can spend the holidays with her and the kids. Julie relents, and soon they seem to be trying to salvage their relationship with Bret more present then he ever has been.
Soon after the new year, Bret and Julie take a trip together to Hawaii. Julie finally builds up the courage to ask Bret what he thinks of them getting back together, and Bret says he doesn't want to get "trapped" again. Julie snapped and said, "That's it I'm done, I can't keep playing these games with you!"
During this conversation, as Julie was walking away, Bret randomly said, "My therapist said that sometimes girls, like the ones your age when all that stuff happens to you, they like it." Julie burst into tears and ran out of the room. What the fuck Bret, to imply that that when his wife was a 16 year old girl, she liked getting r*ped!
Helen Hart died a few weeks after 9/11 in 2001. She was from New York, and Julie remembers how devastated Helen was following the September attacks. Helen went back to New York a few weeks later to visit her sister, but due to the border concerns, she was held up for hours after her plane landed back in Calgary. She wasn't able to reach her insulin and eventually went into a coma.
Helen was on an off ventilation a few times while at the hospital, and one day Alison (Bret's sister) called and told him to come visit asap, because Helen was back on a ventilator and it wasn't looking good. Bret thought Alison being an alarmist and decided to visit the next day. Julie says she wishes they had visited that night, because Helen passed away a few hours later.
One afternoon, Julie came home to find her son Dallas on the phone, when she asked him who he was speaking to, Dallas said, "It's dad, but he sounds drunk." Bret told Julie that he fell off his bike and couldn't get up. He wasn't speaking clearly and couldn't properly explain where he was. Julie and her daughter Beans, drove around looking for Bret based off his perception and directions.
Julie and Beans found him laying casually in the grass, as if he was resting. She said one of Bret's eyes was wide open and the other was closed, and half his mouth was dropping. She struggled to move him as he slurred his words and insisted he was fine. Eventually an ambulance was called and Bret was loaded in.
Julie says the stroke changed him, made him mooder and more depressed. She isn't casting judgment, just pointing out changes she noticed as she spent every day at the hospital with him, helping to feed and cloth Bret, even helping him to the bathroom.
Julie remembers one night that Bret confided in her that he feared he got a stroke as punishment for all the bad things he done. He told her that the morning he got a stroke, he was planning on signing the divorce papers.
Several months later, with Bret moving aorund more, he spent Easter with Julie and the kids, but Julie found an email from some woman in Italy, directed to Bret and it suggested some heavy sexual stuff. Julie felt stupid and used again. When she confronted him on it, he denied anything and she reluctantly believed him.
A week later as Bret prepared for a trip, she found a plane ticket to Italy, when she asked Bret where he was going, he said England. Julie drove him to the airport and told him to get the fuck out.
Bret went to Italy to be with a fan he met at a contract signing, who was obsessed with him since she was a little girl. Julie says she is exactly what Bret needed to feel like the Hitman again. After reading Bret's book, this assessment is completely accurate.
The Italian woman's name was Cynthia and she was also just a year older than Bret's daughter Jade. Julie said Jade had the hardest time accepting Cynthia, whom Bret was determined to integrate into the family.
When Bret's dad Stu died, Julie remembers how she, Bret and Stu's granddaughter Jenni all stood by the bed and watched as he passed. She remembers how she kissed his cheek and told him he could go see Helen now, he didn't need to be here and longer. I remember the speech Stu gave at Helen's funeral, with one line in particular staying with me, "I'm glad for the time I had with her," he said full of love, but his pain was on display too, "Ill never get over this" he finished solemnly, "I don't have enough time."
Julie remembers one day that their son Blade called her from Bret's house, begging for her to pick him up. Blade and Bret started arguing about Cynthia, with Bret saying to his own son, "Don't make me pick between you and Cynthia, because I'll pick Cynthia! And if you don't like it you can get the fuck out!"
Julie started calling Bret "Hitman" when he acted like this to his children, with Julie telling them that their father still loves him and not to worry about what The Hitman says, because it's coming from a broken mind.
One day after Julie bought a house, Bret randomly showed up with a turkey and tried to hit on her. Julie found it amusing and asked him if Cynthia knew he was there. Bret tried to make a move on her but Julie made it clear that won't happen so Bret left. As he left, he told Julie, "I still have cravings for you and I'm not sure I'll ever get over them." To which Julie just cooly responded with, "You will."
After Bret left that day, Julie called his assistant who confirmed that Cynthia was literally on a plane back to Italy right then. Julie laughed at how pathetic it was for Bret to say goodbye to Cynthia and then an hour or two later, show up at Julie's with a turkey and looking for sex.
Bret secretly married Cynthia and months later told the kids after the fact. Their son Blade was so furious he could barely speak to Julie when he got home and eventually blurted out, "Dad married that girl!" Their other son Dallas was also furious and explained how Bret callously told the kids "tell your mom, make sure you tell your mom." He was clearly trying to hurt Julie and used the kids to do so.
When Bret was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2006, Julie insisted on going and told Bret if he doesn't find a way for her to be there, then she would call Vince McMahon herself and arrange it. Bret promised her she would be there but asked her to be discreet about it.
Julie got asked to do an online interview leading up to the Hall of Fame, and she let slip that she would be at the show to support Bret. Later, an irate Bret called her, yelling about how she was supposed to be discreet. Julie clued in on the fact that Bret didn't tell his new wife yet about Julie coming and now he was in hot water. In the end, Bret refused to allow Julie to come to the Hall of Fame to support him.
In Bret's Hall of Fame speech, he just talked about his new wife and how Cynthia was there for him after his stroke and just put her over big. He didn't mention Julie and only mentioned 2 of his 4 children. She says her children were extremely hurt by this and calls it the ultimate betrayal.
Julie started running low on money in 2008 and even attempted to be on a reality show. It was all a BS scam though and she had to invest money into it and eventually it all fell through. She speaks of this with a bit of shame while framing it as something she learned from.
Julie was facing bankruptcy and foreclosure on the house, so as a last resort, she called Bret. She asked him for 9 grand to cover 3 mortgage payments so she can sell the house. Bret chastised her for having money problems before ultimately saying no. He suggested that she rent the house out or have the kids pay rent. As they left, Julie warned him that if she loses the house, Bret may need to take the kids at him place. She doesn't say what he said to this, but she does say, "His response was too cruel to put into writing." Good lord, considering all she told so far, I wonder what Bret said that was so bad, Julie didn't want to even write it down?
Julie does point out that Bret didn't owe her a damn thing and she was in this situation by her own doing. Julie felt like she was letting her kids down most of all.
Julie would move in with her daughter Beans where they split the rent together. She got a job making $14/hour working as a janitor at a local middle school and Julie notes that she was living well below the poverty line.
Julie remembers how absurd it was for her to show up to her janitor job driving a Lexus.
Julie ended up selling her Lexus to her daughter Beans, and Julie bought herself a 1999 Sunfire. It was the first car she ever bought with her own money.
Julie's father died in 2012 and Julie says she wrote a letter to him, promising to make him proud, and stuffed it inside his coffin.
Julie says she spends most of her days being a grandma to Jade's daughter and how grateful she is to be close to her kids still.
Bret can't say the same, Julie notes how he travels alone or with his wife and never offers invites to his kids. She says it breaks her heart to see how far Bret drifted away from their children, even if all her kids insist that they don't care. This was in 2013, so potentially Bret and his kinds could have a better relationship by now.
Julie spends the last several pages of the book detailing her kids and all the ways she loves them. You can tell she is a mother first and foremost, you can tell she loves them unconditionally. Jade, Dallas, Beans and Blade, weird names for kids but I also have a weird name so I can't judge.

I'm in my bed, and I remembered that I made a post here asking opinions about a situation that I was in 2~3 years ago. It is a small post, but a Tl;dr: DMs GF was a problem player with Main Character Syndrome in a One Shot and I was worried that in the campaign that I was entering she would continue to be a Problem Player, and the signs I was receiving didnt help.
Here is an update of that small post.
Names:
Old DM - DM of the first campaign and the DM of the old post
Girlfriend - Old DM's Girlfriend and the Problem Player in the Old Post and in this Post
Chaos - Chaotic Evil Guy that played the One Shot, a friend of Old DM and GF
Elf and Triton - two normal players of the Old DM campaign that were nice to play with
New DM - First Time DM in another campaign, and one of my friends that played the One Shot and didn't like it
Wizard - New rpg Player that joined New DM's campaign
Ent - Another friend that played the One Shot and also didn't like it
Me - Me
This campaign that I entered was a "module" adventure. The Old DM decided that he wanted to play all the quests in Ghost of the Saltmarsh as an adventure, and I was fine with it. As I said in the old post, it had already started, and I entered late as I was a substitute because one player was kicked out. For that reason, I went into the game already prepared to not have my BG be of any significance to the plot of the adventure. I just created a character that I thought it was fun with a BG that I liked, but it wasn't that important. The campaing had 4 players already: Girlfriend, Chaos, Elf and Triton.
The first session had a good start. I liked the Elf and Triton characters, and Girlfriend wasn't a problem. She was the captain of the crew, but she didn't boss anyone around, and I liked the interactions that I was having with the party. We received a mission to go investigate an island, and so we went. We got there, a fight with skeletons happened, we won, and continued exploring.
And here, the problems start to happen.
There, we find a strange looking guy that runs off. We follow him and find a hideout. When we enter, there are a ton of guys. We stop and try talking to them when Chaos just decides to shoot one of them and fight starts again. We managed to make them surrender after killing the leader. And again, just because he was "evil," Chaos decided to shoot one more guy when they had already surrendered. This made me mad, but the session was over after this.
And the the second problem appears: the next session took over one month to happen. Every weekend, someone had an excuse not to participate, especially Girlfriend, and so we didn't play for a long time. This was a recurring thing after the second session: almost every session day, Girlfriend had an excuse not to want to play, and we always had to postpone.
Finally, we got together to play the second session. And one good thing happened: Chaos was kicked from the group. Later, I found out that he had a fight with Girlfriend and Old DM for personal reasons. But it was one less psycho character to deal with, so I was relieved. The second session started, and we explored the hideout when we found a secret passage to a mini dungeon. One thing important to say is: we play on FoundryVTT, and Old DM LOVES maps and token based exploration, and I'm the complete opposite. I'm more of a "tell me what I see and where I can go" kind of player. But I know this is a preference and I don't see this as a problem. The problem is with players that can not wait and are extremely anxious when they have a token and have to speed run the exploration with it.
And that is exactly how Girlfriend is.
She started to run with her token on the map like a speedster, and every 15 seconds, the dm had to pause the VTT and tell her what she sees or activate a trap that she didn't bother to search. We couldn't explore shit because she had already run head first to the area. She always had to be the first. As this was the first time I saw this happening, I didn't pay much mind. I thought that she would learn not to do this after activating half a dozen traps, but it was a constant problem.
When we arrived at the end of this mini dungeon, my character had a vision, and this made me think that my BG would be explored, and it put me in another mindset for the character and the campaign. We go back to Saltmarsh, and the session ends.
After this, a friend of my, New DM, wanted to DM an adventure that she read and liked it, and it was her first time DMing. I had free time to play both campaigns, so I accepted, and so did Old DM and Girlfriend. In this new campaign, the players were Me, Old DM, Girlfriend, Ent and later, Wizard. In this game, Girlfriend made an anti-social character, and then got mad that no one interacted with her when all characters didn't know each other. She then does an 180 on her character personality and tries to boss the group around. In this campaign, she would swear and fight Old DM's character for no reason, and he would just laugh it off while it was disconfortable for the rest of the table. Later in the campaign, Ent drops it, saying that he didn't have time anymore, but months later, he tells me that he didn't want to play with Girlfriend anymore.
Now, this second campaign is important because it was when I noticed that when something didn't go the way she wanted, she would:
1 - Fight with Old Dm
2 - "Turn off" from the rpg (still be on call, but saying the minimum possible, like she doesn't want to be there)
And it happened on the Old DM's campaign.
When the sessions from the 1st campaign returned, there were 2 sessions where she just "turned off." It was painful to play. There was a moment where in the middle of a combat, I had to tell her to pay attention or just quit the call if she didn't want to play, because it's horrible to play with people that don't want to, it brings the mood of the whole table down.
After this, I talked about all my problems with Old DM. I said that this wasn't the first time that I had a problem in the way she acts in sessions, and if it happened one more time, I would quit. He said he would talk to her.
The next sessions for both campaigns came, and she stopped doing the "turn off" thing. But the Exploration problem came back. Again, she would do the things alone, always wanting to be everywhere at once, doing everything.
In the 2nd campaing, Wizard joined in a session with a force loss. New DM was still learning and made mistakes, and it made the first experience of Wizard with RPGs not so great.
And it all came crashing down in the last session that I participated in both campaigns
In the 1st campaing, she still wanted to do everything by herself and be mad at the Old DM when things didn't go the way that she wanted. I was at my limit.
And in the 2nd campaing, the last session was Chaotic. She would use Metagame to try to block players to do what they want, she would fight and swear at Old DM and remove every choice that Wizard made. Later that week, Wizard snapped when New DM asked her if she needed help in RP. Her first experience with RPGs filled with railroad, players removing her agency and weird table vibes.
When New DM told me and Old DM in a Discord Call what Wizard said to her, Old DM tried to make Wizard look 100% in the wrong, but I had to interfere. I said that, while she was rude in the way she snapped, she had a reason to be that mad, and I listed the problems that happened in that session and that it was mostly Girlfrienss fault. After that, I said to him that the talks he had didn't work and that I would be quitting his campaign. I prepared a letter that my character left on the boat for the other players and stopped playing.
I remember Old DM trying to make me stay in the campaign saying that "but the next arc will have your BG", because he just did that interaction with my bg in the second session and then went months ignoring my character story. But I said to him that using my BG as a "bribe" wouldn't work.
2nd campaign died in that last session, too.
After that, 1 month later, Elf and Triton left the 1st campaign as well, with Elf giving him the same reason that I gave. So I wasn't the only player in that table that didn't stand playing with her.
And that's it. I'm still friends with everyone in this story, I don't have anything against Girlfriend outside RPGs. Old DM called me to play one shot with them again, but I said that I would not play RPGs with Girlfriend again. He understood that me and her don't mix well in games, so he doesn't try anymore.
Now I'm playing another campaign with Old DM, but this time, Girlfriend isn't playing. And in this campaign I'm having some problems too, but again is the player side and it's another story.
Thanks for reading this mess that I wrote at 3 am
Tl;dr: I thought that DM's GF could be a Problem, she was and it ended 2 campaigns.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/OkOstrich6619
AITAH for not sympathizing with my ex wife's AP after she groomed and abused him?
Originally posted to AITAH
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, grooming, sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, harassment, stalking
Original Post Apr 13, 2024
Longtime lurker and I've been struggling with my decision here
Some details will be vague for reasons I hope you all have the capacity to understand why
TW: Domestic and sexual abuse
Long backstory so bear with me. My (34M) ex (33F) admittedly had a ton of red flags when we started dating. She was my serious first relationship and I wasn't always very confident or outgoing compared to her, and ill always be kicking myself for practically dancing into the arms or a narcissist.
We got married way too young at 24 and 23, and the next several years were spent with her demanding my entire life change at her whims, mood swings, gaslighting when she seemed to be carrying on emotional affairs, isolating me, arguments out of nowhere, nights sleeping on the couch, financial abuse (her family is very well off, and they foot the bill for the wedding and our house) demeaning comments and general emotional abuse. One other thing was she was always more sexually adventures and always wanted to try newer and weirder things. I'm a little open minded but sometimes had to set firm boundaries with her or shut her down when it got too uncomfortable. This is important for later.
Back then I thought by just dealing with it I was being strong and protecting our marriage. If I could go back in time I would kick my younger selfs ass. 2 years back things came to a head. It came out she had been carrying on a full fledged affair with our neighbor's son who had only been 18 for around 6 months. We knew this kid since he was 16. At that point she was freshly 31. I finally pulled my head out my ass but by that point it was too late
The coming months absolutely fucking sucked. Got kicked out (her parents left the house to soley her. I never had any impression i was going to have any claim to it so I saw that coming at least), lawyer costs financially drained me, and moved in with my parents for the time being while my ex, her AP, her family and her APs family harassed me on the daily for months.
-my ex tried every dirty trick in the book on her parents dime with the divorce (somehow by thr grace of God and my lawyer I made it out relatively fine). She send grueling insults with every insult you could think of from a cheating narcissist

• her AP painted me as a crippled old man and had his friends send insulting messages, videos of him and my ex, and whatever they could think of on the daily and only stopped when I got law enforcement involved

-my exes family never liked me, and gladly jumped at the opportunity to mock me, and the APs family, who obviously saw dollar signs regardless of the greater context, had no problems joining in to score points
This brings me to around 3 weeks ago. By then 2 years had gone by, with me back on my feat, a year of therapy under my belt, a new job, a new sense of confidence, and recently a new girlfriend. Bit of info, I never left the area, my family only lived a couple of hours away from where my ex and I lived. My job is going too well to risk getting up and leaving for parts unknown. Because I was in the same area, I got little tidbits of info regardless if I wanted to hear or not. I know the APs family moved away, he moved in with her, and the world slowly saw less and less of him.
To sum it up, I got called by his family to see him in the hospital. I dont know all the details, but basically, roughly over a month ago my exes AP went dark. Over a 5 month period, they slowly heard less and less of him, but a month back they lost contact. Why it took them this long to raise hell is beyond me, but I imagine a family that would allow their son to be groomed for money isn't great at ensuring their son is ok. Police stopped by her house for a wellness check, only for him to answer the door looking like the walking dead. The poice found him, from what they describe, practically in hell. He had been routinely beaten and sexually abused nonstop for God knows how long.
The whole investigation has opened a black hole of craziness. I've asked around for more info and got little tidbits but not much. It was found that multiple people were involved and allegedly there are videos of what they were doing to him. They found evidence of God knows how many drugs and substances were being pumped into him. My ex and whoever else was involved are facing longer and longer sentences he more they find out
His family wants me to visit him as he wants to make amends. He wants to apologize, he's broken, he's scarred for life, he's suicidal, whatever reason they can spew out to bring me to him they've said it. But why should I be dragged into this shit?
His own family allowed practically sold him, my exes family seem to actually have had no knowledge of this and are practically scraping their hands clean and throwing her to the wolves, but I have to step back into this? I get he was groomed, I get he was influenced, and I understand some truly awful stuff happened to him, but why should I come back o all this and let the people who hurt me know all is forgiven? They've been harassing me about this nonstop now and even family think I should talk to him
MINOR UPDATE: I guess posting about this gave me the kick in the ass to communicate with my family. Mainly, its my parents who are encouraging reaching out. They explained their reasoning to me, and it makes sense where they are coming from. They are simply worried that if I try and ignore them it will kick off another year long harassment campaign from them. They saw how messed up I was last time I went through this, and they simply wanted it to end quickly so I didn't go through the same shit again. I have assured them there's no way they'll be able to go through with that again and worst case scenario I'll change my number again. They understand and have stopped pushing
FINAL UPDATE: I'm gonna bow out of the situation. No dramatic confrontation. No big show to everyone. Just gonna have my lawyer draw up a statement requesting to be left alone and ill double check making sure I wont have to be involved in any proceedings in the near future. From the brief chat I had with my lawyer so far, there's no real logical reason for me to be involved unless either side was getting desperate. Regardless, I have pages of documentation from way back showing my concern towards his age as well as clearly stating I was not involved in what transpired since then. I understand many of you wanted something more dramatic, but thats just how it is. All the loose ends are wrapped up and I'm moving on
BONUS: I wont be deleting the account yet despite what I claimed earlier just in case something comes up or happens. However, do not expect court updates as that takes a very long time and I most likely won't have any involvement.
I can share a couple theories from people I have heard about what is happening. These are all bits of info passed down by mutuals of mutuals, and have been going through a game of telephone for weeks, so please assume these are either wildly exaggerated or outright BS
-APs family and ex in laws family are all prepping to stab eachother in the back as each seem to be holding onto dirt to use against the other, possibly knowledge of the affair going on before 18
-EX in retaliation for being abandoned has knowledge of, and I quote directly from the messenger, "tax stuff" regarding her parents. It isn't some big thing that would be federal, probably just some money out of their pockets down the line. Her family aren't powerful, just well off
-there is no big trafficking ring or larger scale operation going on, it was just 4 or 5 freaks who found eachother online that she gathered. This seems more plausible
-AP's father is bordering on having to be placed under suicide watch
-AP's mother apparently had reservations from the begginging, pretty much got bought off, and is now livid and considering divorce
-AP is trying to get his friends for support and they are bailing. Some of these guys were part of the original harassment campaign way back and have apparently realized the error of their ways and don't want to step back in
-One of his abusers from the group got a knock at the door by the police at home with his wife and kids and killed himself on the spot (this has also been called out as fake by another person, and there is no evidence this happened but its still in a grey area as no one knows the names of who was involved, just the number of people)
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Vast-Combination4046

Did your ex get into meth out of the blue? This seems like meth head stuff

OOP

There are theories and stories from those i dare asked. None of them pleasant. But considering what his family mentioned about him being forced into drugs I'm going to assume she was on them as well.

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robertscoff

There could be a possibility of being a witness, if revenge on your ex is something that would make you feel ok? NTA but the kid was essentially a child when groomed so I would suggest at least let go of that hatred, even if you choose to remain uninvolved. Best wishes

OOP

I assume I have no real reason to be called upon as a witness for whatever happens, unless they somehow try to go all the way back to the beginning and get me involved which seems wild to me

This however is all speculative and also, despite how quickly Reddit stories want us all to think with this stuff, is going to take a while to go to court

Update May 5, 2024
Apologizes in advance, this update will be stupid and asinine
So as I always knew was a possibility, sending a letter from my lawyer to the AP's parents wasn't the bulletproof shield I was hoping it would be. Desperate people aren't swayed by mere legal matters. Within 2 days things started spiraling out of control, and very quickly they called me directly again
Make no mistake, I saw the writing on the wall. Somehow I'll be getting dragged into this no matter what. My parents and girlfriend were as supporting as they could be. But at some point I said screw it and arranged to talk with the APs dad. I know, I'm an idiot and a fool, but I need to actually know what's going on.
To condense what was discussed without spilling any info in regards to the investigation, everyone was turning against eachother and our for blood, and secrets were finally spilling.
The AP's Dad: he opened the floodgates. As I knew, everyone was basically aware that my Ex groomed him most likely starting at 16. If there was any physical proof such as messages, they're long gone. This kid was basically a bad seed, history of trouble without a clear direction in his future. His dad is a confusing person. He is the kind of dad that wanted to be rid of his problem child, but also was "proud" in a way of his son getting involved with the hot older woman with a well off family. He basically spilled the beans that he supported the relationship as it gave him the benefit of getting his son out of his house, and gladly took whatever my exes family offered as a token of appreciation. He was a lousy father plain and simple. As time went by, he appeared to realize the situation he out his son in, and it only got worse with...
The APs Mom: she was a stay at home mother who always was the silent submissive partner in the marriage. As it turns out, she raised hell from the beggining, but at the behest of her husband (I'm suspecting this marriage is way more abusive then he let on) he got her to drop it. He controlled her enitre life practically. She never was happy and always tried to get her son help and get him away from my ex. After what has happened the last few weeks, she has had it. She is divorcing him, letting his family know what happened, and plans on cleaning him out in the divorce. The silent submissive wife was driven too far. From what I saw of the Dad, it's hit him hard how his years of bad choices have ruined his family. He is a hollow shell of a man
My Ex and her family: they're tearing eachother apart. My ex has lost her job, reputation, her circle of freaks, and her money. Her parents, their family humiliated, their involvement taking over local gossip, and desperate to salvage the fallout they'll endure when more people find out, are in the midst of a separation and a brutal divorce is on the horizon. However, the possibility of an investigation is at risk due to...
The AP: my jaw hit the fucking floor when I heard about him. He is backpeddling hard. Over the last 2 weeks he has been retracting every claim, every accusation, every bit of evidence that could put these sick freaks in prison. I shit you not, and I wish I had the capacity to make this up, he has gotten the people who are on video sexually abusing him to verify with him that they were taking part in recording fetish porn. My brain simply cannot comprehend this. It just won't allow me. Now I'm not stupid, he is clearly psychologically broken. He was alone with them for months. He needs a psychiatrist immediately.
The reason they are so desperate for me to be involved is because it's the last desperate flails of a collapsing group of narcissists and parental failures desperately trying to talk to him, and they want me involved as they need people with history with my ex to try and actually make a case since their son is doing everything he can to not make one happen. As of now, any case against my ex is in limbo
It's just so sad. This situation is so stupid all around because it was so avoidable. All the dad had to do was be a proper guiding father to his son, help him become a proper adult. All his mom had to do was not be a pushover. All my exes parents had to do was not support an illegal relationship just to spite me. All my ex had to do was not be an awful human being
Now a kid is possibly deeply mentally broken permanently all because the guiding figures in his life didn't care. I won't lie, I still hate him so much, but he doesn't deserve this
If I ever update again, it would be a year or so down the road after all the dust has settled. This is such a stupid pointless situation
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Currently in a temporary LDR with my girlfriend (in a queer relationship) for more than 2 months already because of her work. We've been together for more than 2 years now and this is the longest time we've been apart.
At first, it was alright, we still managed to have constant communication. But after a month and a half, when their schedule became a lot busier, she gradually lost time.
It was understandable at first, given their busy schedule. But then when I see that she has free time she still didn't even call. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm not entitled to her free time and she needs to rest and relax too -- but still, more than 2 weeks of no calls, erratic updates, less details of where she is or what she's doing-- eventually I barely know what she's up to.
I see her hanging out more often with her colleagues than she did before. Which was okay, she should socialize and she can also make friends. But from that point on, I'm having a gut feeling that something's wrong. I didn't bring it up for days, telling myself I'm just missing her and being paranoid.
Then when I brought up that she didn't have even little time for me, we had a small fight. She said I have to understand her situation there. And whenever I would like to know more details of what she's up to, it sounded like I'm accusing her.
Then just a week ago, I opened our iPad to check the receipt of the phone bill I paid, which was sent to her email. Her email was logged in and she has a habit of deleting even important invoices.
I was searching for it, then went to the trash, only to accidentally click on drafts. There I saw a sweet, lovely message she drafted for one of her colleagues. It was drafted weeks ago. It was a sweet and thoughtful parting message. She wrote along the words:
"We had a short but oh so sweet run and I don't want our relationship to end just because I'm going home. I am just going back to a place where it needed me the most right now and you will go to a place where you will learn more and strengthen your skills. But this isn't the end baby. This is the beginning of a lifelong relationship between you and me".
She also wrote that she'll fly anywhere in the world to get her and her home is her home. She called her name with "my" and had a special endearment for her.
When I confronted her, she had been defensive. She said she's just a special friend to whom she connected deeply in a platonic way. Like she had a soul sister. She said she doesn't have to explain to me because the letter is for that person. She wouldn't stay away from her just because I'm jealous and uncomfortable. She also explained that they all call each other at work "baby", regardless, she still refers to her in another word of endearment. She also added that I shouldn't be jealous because she's straight.
She said I shouldn't overthink the message too. But I didn't like the way she said as if she's just going home just because she needs to, because the contract's over and she has to go home. Like its an obligation, and that if she have a choice, she won't.
I like to believe her, I really do. But then, this discovery and her behavior lately prompted me to dig more. Her email, social media, and search history revealed more. (Yes this is very toxic, I know).
There is a deleted hotel booking confirmation, deleted massage appointment (i know she didn't avail for herself because she just got one), an Uber ride to said hotel, a search for a jewelry in a specific birthstone, a search for a sports watch (one of the other girl's interests), a searh for a luxury watch and where is the nearest outlet to buy it, a search for translation of words she captioned her insta post with the girl's photo, a lot of translation searches for messages, a search about songs on one sided love. Also searched how long can she stay in the country without a visa.
She also claimed that she wrote the message for a few mins but there's a search for "pick up lines" and quotes for said message.
There are saved reels with captions "we'll love each other in secret and that's okay", "i'll love you in silence".
Upon stalking the girl, the birthstone for her birth month is the exactly the one she's looking for in a necklace.
Do you think these are just being a very very nice friend??
As I am writing this, I feel like I'm fooling myself asking the question. A lot of these are assumptions but given that my girlfriend had enjoyed her time there a little too much to the point of neglecting me is making my heart drop.