I have a friend (60) with an adult son (24), who lives at home. He has some social life but doesn't work nor is in school. He did some travelling for a year by himself but since he's come back he's not done anything except talk about going traveling again (he's been back about a year or so).
He has a series of developmental issues (autism, ADHD etc) and is very immature for his age. But he did go travelling by himself for a year (I'm fairly sure my friend financially supported him more than she let's on but he managed to find places to live, washed, fed himself, got himself a job etc.). He didn't finish high school but did get a working qualification after a couple of tries.
My friend does not tell him no. She says she's worried about him thinking he's on his own. But for example she's tried to give him chores to do but he doesn't do them because he's 'resistent' to doing the simplest of things. She blames his issues on this resistance, not that he knows she'll do it if he leaves it long enough. He's learning to drive but he wants his friends to take him out in her car, but instead of just telling him no she looks for excuses like they won't have the proper insurance. She paid for driving lessons but he wanted to do an intensive course that would see him take his test at the end with all the money up front, which he has not finished because the driving instructor apparently 'shouted' at him.
She spends a lot of time thinking about these issues with the thought that they'll never change and there's nothing she can do, but seems so reluctant to make it difficult for him not to change or have any results of him not doing stuff like cleaning up after himself. She blames alot of this on his developmental immaturity, but refuses to treat him as such (don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you ground a 24 year old for not sweeping the yard, but if he doesn't iron his own shirts, then his shirts don't get ironed, that kind of thing). Any stipulation he doesn't stick to she seems to think if she demands he does, she assumes is going to spiral into him doing something stupid like hurting himself or running away or something. She says she's carastrophising, and I believe her, but I also wonder if she's not telling me something.
Just... What's going on? It's been spiraling and getting worse for months now. She's in therapy and I know myself when these things are picked apart they get worse for a while but she phoned me this morning with something that he didn't do so that meant he's unable to do anything for himself.
Thanks for your input.

I'm so tired. I'm 41. Started having lower back spasms at 11. Got very active and fit that kept it mosty at bay during my teenage years. Back pain returned and young adulthood. Cried on the way to work on the bus. Knelt on the floor to type. Got a different job. Migraines slowly started over years. That would go out 3 to 4 times a year regularly but I was very active.

1. I don't know what the fuck happened but my neck did something and it was months And months of uncontrollable spasms and complete trauma. Interstitial cystitis appeared. Gastrointestinal pain started. My nervous system seems to be jacked up after that. Super reactive to everything.

I pull myself heroically back to some decent functionality after a few years. Then my new knee pain (chondromalacia) took away roller skating which was my favorite activity in life and probably the thing that kept me strong. I've been working on my knee since 2020 and I still haven't made progress with all the PT. It's so incredibly frustrating and it's what kept me from skating and hiking. I try to keep active with walking and PT exercises.
Then my husband of 12 years just walks out on me one day with no warning (He actually moved out while I was gone for the weekend and let me know by email but he wanted a divorce, saying that my recent diagnosis made me a ticking time bomb waiting to ruin our lives)
Fast forward 2 years through the trauma of utter blindsided betrayal and abandonment by someone I thought was my best friend and loving life partner, And the mental trauma of being forced to do a whole divorce and fight for my needs with someone who screamed at me that I didn't deserve any alimony at all because I created all this suffering in my head to manipulate care out of him (Yes, that was his point of view. I can't explain it. It's nuts. It's basically total denial I think, His twisted rationale to make this my fault and therefore abandoning me acceptable) I haven't worked in years. I don't qualify for disability because I stopped working gradually, before I had a diagnosis and I trusted my husband. So now I don't have enough recent work credits for disability.
Randomly, a year after my husband left, I developed chronic tailbone pain. I haven't been able to sit down without pain for over a year. It's really a hard condition to treat, no solution in sight but strengthening which I'm used to and I'm ready to do...
... But my hips have started possibly subluxing? I've never had trouble there before because I've been very active since age 11. I don't drive. I walk everywhere. I used to roller skate, hike. Now all I do is walk. It hurts to lift my leg when I lay on my side, feels like it's stuck like I have to rotate my leg in order to properly lift it. Sometimes I get a sharp pain in the back part where the top of the thigh bone is. Aching today.
I'm suspecting this slow loss of my physical activity has finally weakened my hip butt area, allowing my hips to have problems for the first time?
And I've JUST gotten over an exhausting trial of LDN which backfired on me (It caused completely new peripheral neuropathy to appear in my hands and feet and then set my migraines to become chronic, every day, for over a month)
It's literally been 3 days since the amitriptyline has finally kicked in and I've gone a day or two without migraine.
But this hip pain is taking me down mentally.
How can I exercise when despite my best efforts, I keep adding injury after injury. They're stacking up. I can't climb my way out.
I'm terrified because I can't sit. I can't even use a wheelchair if my hips give out. How the fuck am I supposed to live?
How much more can I fucking take?
I really hope I'm just having a little breakdown. I hope I can improve things.
But I'm just so goddamn fucking tired.

I (42F) have just started a new job. I know it will get better after training, but these next 2-3 weeks are going to suck. I have to take my lunch break with my coworkers and chit chat. Ugh. I'm not forced to, but everyone else eats together and I don't want to be the weird one eating alone.
It's 8 constant hours of socialization and masking, plus actually learning the job! I got home yesterday and my brain was mush and i just sat on the couch until 7 when I went to bed. Couldn't really do much with my 3 year old son. My husband tried to talk to me and I could hardly form sentences.
It will get better in a few weeks when training is done and I'm on my own. Any advice on how I can get through these weeks?

First time posting; I'm sorry if I screwed up anywhere!
This happened about a year ago so I apologize if I misremember a few details.
At the time, I was running for a new group of four players. The players so far have had one adventure together: killing rats in a basement. Already the party is roleplaying together and making inside jokes. Even the new players who are a bit shy are starting to open up.
For their next adventure, the party has been recruited to go to a nearby farm that is been harassed by nearby goblins. The farm is tended to by three NPC's: Hillard, an old crotchety man who is secretly a powerful wizard in hiding after a "job gone wrong;" Mallory, his wife (who never got developed); and Dolores, their restless daughter. Hillard wants Dolores to stay on the farm, but Dolores has a hunger for adventure. The party decide to take Dolores along with them to go oust all the goblins and give her some spare equipment they have lying around. For context, her stats are all atrocious with about 6 HP to her name.
Miraculously, she survives their encounters, but not without her almost dying several times and realizing that adventuring is a lot more dangerous than she thought.
The party, to my surprise, convinces Hillard to let Dolores join them. More inside jokes appear with some players in character doting on their new adventuring buddy.
Here's where things get weird.
One of my players, our rogue, takes Dolores on his protégé. He spends most of his gold in town buying her equipment and healing potions and attempts to give her life lessons and training in their downtime. While I don't give a mechanical benefit, I do roleplay Dolores slowly building confidence, namely feeling more safe now that she has a shield and armor to hide in.
Another new player who is playing our druid decides that she is going to roleplay that she's not a fan of Dolores. While the rogue is building up Dolores' confidence and coddling her, the druid instead makes remarks that it's a waste of time as Dolores is probably just going to wind up dead. Other players in character chastise the druid for this, but it's all in character so I think nothing of it. Post session there are more jokes and things seem to be going well.
Later, I get a bunch of discord messages from the druid player that the rogue player is DM'ing her and making her feel upset and useless.
I go and talk to the rogue player and he's complaining because he doesn't like how the druid player is putting down Dolores. I tell him that firstly if he has problems with other players to bring it to me first (a policy I have so that I can filter out the vitriol if players have legitimate concerns) but I remind him that Dolores is an NPC with about 6 HP and that while he might be getting attached, the druid player is under no obligation to do so. I ask him if that's a problem for him and let him know that I will address it if it is, but he says that it isn't and apologizes for his behavior.
I speak with the other players and ask if they're having any issues with this and they're surprised I'm even asking. To them (and me) it added a much needed dynamic to Dolores.
I then ask both the druid and rogue players privately if they would be okay meeting together in a group call to have a discussion, namely to see if this can be salvaged, and they agree. Surprisingly, the rogue player apologizes for being out of line and admitting that he let it get to him. I propose that players are allowed to have different opinions and can roleplay different opinions but that any conflict will stay between characters and not extend outside the table. The players agree and make up, and the next session goes pretty smoothly.
Three sessions later and he has a full-on explosion, calling the druid player a female dog and an impolite word for female genitals, rants that she's "ruined the game by being such a downer to Dolores" and leaves the call. He messages me privately that he really enjoyed our game and would love to be invited to another one if I host, but that he can't stand how miserable "that c---" is by making everyone feel depressed (again, I spoke with the other players and they were surprised he felt that way at all.)
Part of me wanted to call him out, but I'm too nice and instead thanked him for his compliment, told him he would not be receiving a future invite to my tables, and blocked him.
I then had a long conversation with the druid player who has been absolutely emotionally destroyed by this and in tears. We have a player meeting with the remaining players about it. I offer to end the game if no one feels like playing anymore, but everyone says that they enjoyed the game thus far and wanted to see what more I had in store.
Even the druid.
Somehow that game is still going on. And Dolores is somehow still with them, alive and well.

So I’ve (25 F) been living in Seattle with my fiancé (26 M) we’ve been together for about 4 years now. We were talking about marriage then I fell pregnant and we decided to keep it of course although I was hesitant since I had heard horror stories about pregnancy. Most of the women in my life are single moms. My mom was a single mom of 2 but then she married and had 2 more. She worked full time through all 4 pregnancy’s, commuting an hour to work. She spent one of her pregnancies on a broken foot and going back to work 2-6 weeks after each birth. When I was younger it seems fine but now that I’m pregnant and thinking about it, I would absolutely never be able to handle that.
ANYWAYS… I’ve had a pretty complicated pregnancy, had HG until 6 months, I still throw up but now it’s just regular morning sickness. I could work during months 2-4 and my fiancé did absolutely everything for me. He even had to carry me into the shower and wash me sometimes because I was so weak. I’m not sure now I survived that but I did. Keep in mind, during this time, people kept telling me I was just being negative and all this was happening to me because I was negative and to basically meditate and take a walk.
Fast forward, I started back working month 4 when I started feeling better. Now I’m 8months and I’m over it,I had a TIA (MINI stroke) at work, I have SPD and it hurts if I walk, my job doesn’t want to accommodate a WFH structure (which is another story), and my Fiancé just wants me to quit as he doesn’t like to see me in pain.
I am super close to my mom and she has been begging me to come stay with her and she really wants me to give birth in NY. I convinced my Finance to let me come here and explained that my mom really wants to take care of me in this last stretch and he could have some time to breathe since I’ve been relying on him this whole time. He was not happy about it but let me go.
I get to JFK, everyone is being rude to me, I asked the man who drives the golf cart looking thing if I can hitch a ride because I’m pregnant and in some pain, he got so mad at me and told me pregnancy is not a sickness, but still let me on.
I get to my mom’s house, she put me downstairs in the basement instead of a room upstairs and will not let me sleep up there. Which is pissing me off, I have to climb 2 flights of stairs to get to the bathroom and the basement is dusty and dark with no ventilation. My mom’s office is also downstairs in the basement so everyday she wakes me up because by coming down the stairs and crossing through the first room that I’m in to get to her office. So I also have no privacy and no door. So when my fiancé comes we will have no privacy.
My SPD is getting really bad Everyone keeps telling me how dramatic I am and how they had to endure horrible conditions while they were pregnant and worked up until they gave birth.
Am I a bitch and being ungrateful or are people fucking with me right now? I feel like the women in my life are trying to make things harder rather than help me relax and get ready for birth. It’s almost like people are laughing at me for being pregnant and suffering.

Hi guys, I've come here time to time for the past 7 or 8 months whenever I feel symptoms or anxious and I guess it's time I shared my story, as there could be some things I learned along the way that would be helpful for folks. I'm a 30 year old male. I took minoxidil for 5 years from the age of 25. Once that didn't seem to be working any more I tried to get oral minoxidil and my doctor told me to get on propecia instead. I told her I felt a little scared about that but she said I'd be fine. I've always had a good libido, maybe too good, like bordering on sex obsession.. so I figured if anything a little less libido might do me good. Soon after I started the propecia I got a concussion (mild) from a soccer ball, and that was after a weekend where I tripped on acid, so there were some things going on. I had also had pretty bad food poisoning some months ago that took forever to heal from with some lingering tummy problems. Anyway, I had weird symptoms after the concussion. I almost felt like, euphoric. It felt like my brain was just releasing all of its happy chemicals at once. Part of my euphoria was an absolute disinterest in sex, but I enjoyed that, I felt like I was attaining enlightenment or something. I was glowing and productive. After a week or so all of this went away and I went back to having normal sexual health and normal (bad) mental health and I didn't really think about it again. Fast forward 6 months. I quit my job because I am depressed about it and life in NYC is suffocating me, I want to travel the world before it burns down, in the interim I move back home to get my affairs sorted. I had to dye my hair for some short film, and I hated it, when I cut it my hair didn't look good, seemed I'd lost a lot more than I thought, and that made me sad so I was researching finasteride (does this stuff even work?) and then I accidentally found this community on reddit... and it freaked me out. I had a full blown panic attack reading these posts. Then I started thinking about things that had been happening in my life. Increased anxiety and depression. Chronic prostatitis. And the development of IBS, especially bad after drinking alcohol, which actually led me to give up drinking for a while. My sexual health was fine, but I think the anxiety from reading the reddit posts gave me some weird sexual side effects, not joking. That same day I started feeling an achey tingling in my balls, as if they were swelling up. I remember going on a walk with a girl I was seeing and I just felt so off and couldn't even enjoy walking because of the heaviness of my balls and I didn't want to sleep with her at all anymore. I immediately gave up both fin and min, kind of sad because I had just bought a years supply of the stuff from one of those new websites that makes it easy. So with all this happening, I had also been planing to ride my bicycle around the world. I left for India about a week after cutting the hair drugs and cutting alcohol. And then I'm in India. Without alcohol, my IBS pretty much completely healed. I was making very nice poos. The cycling irritated my prostate though. I started off by going over the Himalayas which involved a lot of climbing and therefore a lot of my groin pushing hard into a bike saddle. Still, I was able to pleasure myself in the tent successfully, which I only did to keep tabs on my progress of course. Things were looking up. Leaving work and NYC and America already did a 180 on all of my mental health issues, as did quitting alcohol. My memory improved. I was reading and writing and thinking clearly. I was a happy guy. After finishing the himalayas I had a few beers about it with some friends to celebrate. A few days later I got some cramps in my abdomen, and then the next day severe food poisoning. Both ends type. So bad. Had to keep going though. I kept cycling through the mountains. For two weeks I had diarrhea, and then that turned into regular old IBS again, like always running to the bathroom never knowing if I'll make it on time and the poop is this sludge like texture. It sucked. I was also sad about my hair, as it looked like I was losing all my gains. I bought a fin/min topical mixture and started using that while I was in a meditation retreat. I started having that weird euphoric feeling again, but I attributed it to the meditation, which was really life changing but no need to elaborate on that. I also started feeling prostatitis again (burning sensation tip of penis, feels like you want to pee). I had fixed the tilt on my bike saddle to eliminate prostate issues so it was weird that it was coming back again. I figured maybe coming from sitting in meditative posture all day. I guess I was in denial, but after about a month or so I figured it must be the finasteride so I gave it up again and switched to just minoxidil. But then, the minoxidil was making me feel weird too. I remember one time, the very same night I applied minoxidil it felt like my asshole was falling out, like I had a rectal prolapse, now I think it's hemorrhoids. I had the hemorrhoid feeling for a while. Keep in mind, my main issue at this time remains the IBS. I also had very low libido but honestly I rarely saw attractive women on my trip so who knows. So I kept cycling, I cycled all the way from the North in KashmiLadakh to Kerala, the south. My IBS never went away. I tried all sorts of things for my hair. I went to an ayurvedic place and they put leeches on my scalp which was hilarious. They also gave me this weird ayurvedic oil with no real instructions. I think that must have had some DHT blocker in it because it gave me the weird feelings too, especially the hemorrhoid feeling. I started drinking oregano oil and taking copious amounts of probiotics, which would always help for a couple days against the IBS but I think the heat of the Indian sun killed them off while they were in my saddle bags. Then I found this new chemical combo in South India, starring redensyl and backed up with procapil and anagain. I figured what the hell why not. It came with a dht blocker gummy vitamin but it was just green tea with biotin and zinc so whatever. I started feeling a lot better on that. One random week I started getting insane erections and it felt like my dick grew an inch. Can't really explain what was going on there. Prior to that the erections were meh and I would cum sometimes in a half-noodle like state which was very sad. Anyway, that didn't last forever. Once I got to the very south I decided I needed a full system reboot and went to another ayurvedic place and got something called a panchakarma. In panchakarma you go on a very restrictive diet and they massage all of your body toxins into your gut, they make you drink a ton of ghee to help do this, and then they purge you, so it all comes out of your butt, and then in my case I got 5 medicated enemas. It's a two week process, sometimes longer. I know it sounds crazy but it definitely makes you feel better. I was also doing yoga and meditating every day which was super helpful. After that my IBS went away. I had to keep to the diet for two weeks after: no sugar, caffeine, gluten, alcohol or meat. After the two weeks I dipped my toes back into all those things and my gut stayed solid. Crazy. I also felt good sexually. I started taking another hair serum, this one with redensyl, anagain, procapil, and pumpkin seed oil. Still felt great. I flew to Malaysia and started cycling there. In Malaysia I just started feeling better and better. No IBS, huge erections again. In fact, I became obsessed with sex again. And it was depressing. I actually started missing the days when I had no libido in India. I was really able to focus on other things. Sex is such a waste of mental energy. I could drink alcohol again. And so I did, and had no issues. Which was great but I also was kind of sad about it, am I just going to be a sex-obsessed booze hound again? Have I learned nothing? Anyway, the story continues. No one is bald in Malaysia so I had to order more of my chemicals to feed my hopeless hair serum addiction. I found a crazy one that was stacked with redensyl, anagain, procapil, baicapil, capixyl, biotin, aminexil, rice water, rosemary oil, and .... saw palmetto. The saw palmetto was maybe .3% so I figured it probably wouldn't have any effect, especially since I was fine with the pumpkin seed oil. Anyway, 10 days into that serum I got the tingly swelly feeling in my balls again and some prostatitis too! Oy, back to the start it would seem. I'm mainly just upset because I ordered 3 bottles of that stuff and had to pay taxes on the import because it came from India, and now I guess I have to throw it all out? Whatever. Anyway, you can call me an idiot, but by using my body as a guinea pig I believe I've uncovered some interesting info for everyone. Just as the early men who figured out which berries were poisonous, I serve humanity with my tragic misadventures. Still cycling, hoping to go around the world and find new ways to mess with my hormones and keep some of my hair. My advice from this, do something to fully cleanse your system, like the panchakarma. We've basically tampered too much with our settings and need to do a factory reset. You can do a lot of that stuff on your own, fasting, purging, enemas. It stimulates your body into healing itself. Hell, go to India. In India doctors actually listen to you and treat you holistically, and everything is cheap! You can get rifaximin for 2 dollars should you desire. You don't need to keep getting gaslit by expensive urologists and gastros in the states your whole life. Just do something crazy. You'll stay depressed if you linger on the internet for too long. And if you're stuck in a job/life you hate, take PFS as a sign and excuse to be selfish and get out of it, think of yourself as a terminally ill person that just wants to live life for the little time they have left. Obviously I still have no idea if any of what I've experienced is actually PFS or if it's maybe related to the original food poisoning or the concussion or maybe even Long Covid. No clue. But I do think a lot of my symptoms have been consistent with what you guys talk about. Either way, whatever it is, treat your body well and you may heal. I hope? I'm currently sitting on a swollen sack hoping that the PFS Gods will be merciful once more, but I know I don't deserve it. My desire to have hair still hasn't gone away, and I keep thinking maybe if I try just one more thing that'll be the thing that works. And that's what keeps pulling me back into this mess. But at the end of the day I can thank PFS for forcing me to make the big life changes that have made me a much happier person today, regardless of the state of my pelvic area.

I'm(M24) starting to distance myself from my friend, I'll refer her to S(F22). S and I have been friends since highschool, we would occasionally hangout. Nothing to it we were just kids then.
Now before S, I had another friend, I'll refer to M(F24). She was fantastic, we spent every night and day talking. I never really thought of her of anything else but just my friend, but one day she leans on me and kissed me, very intimate, very attractive. Long story short. Time went by I confessed my feelings for her thinking she had the same. I had to be her crying shoulder for every break up, every new man. Like a drug I confessed again, but this time she had a boyfriend for 4 months that I never about. For me that was heartbreaking and my attachment was severe. Nowadays I don't even engage with her and I think she started to notice because stopped texting her first...because I finally healed, I finally let go of someone who wanted me as a therapist.
Now with S. I had lost my job, had to leave school in San Francisco and move back to Los Angeles with my mom. S took me places, expensive restaurants, bars, and hangouts. I never had that from a girl before. She paid for everything because I was broke, it felt nice, but wrong too. But I knew we were just old highschool friends and it was just a meet up. But one night mannn, that night she let me hold her at a club while her favorite music was on, again I didn't think too much of it, it was her night and she wanted to feel something.
A couple days ago she went clubbing with some friends, I didnt care what she did because she would tell me the night of or even the next day on discord playing Minecraft. But this time she said she made out of a guy and I'm telling you, I felt the same thing with M. I was attached. We did same things like with M, but S gave more effort. So I started distancing myself, trying not to reply too fast or text first. I think she's starting to catch on I don't know.
So what if I'm scared of confession. I have fear I know that. I want to communicate but I don't want to. At the end I think to myself "just stay friends, just stay friends". But I yearn for the things she could give me.
Thank you for reading, if you actually did, if not it's cool. I just needed to type it out and finally go to sleep. I'll read your comments, but I don't know if I'll reply.

A true sports parent dies twice. There’s the death that awaits us all at the end of a long or short life, the result of illness, misadventure, fire, falling object, hydroplaning car, or derailing train. But there is also the death that comes in the midst of life, the purgatorial purposelessness that follows the final season on the sidelines or in the bleachers, when your sports kid hangs up their skates, cleats, or spikes after that last game.
The passage of time is woeful, and, for a parent, living your dreams through the progress of your progeny is as inevitable as the turning of the Earth. But the sports parent lives the experience in concentrate—a more intense version of the common predicament. You must give up your vicarious hope of big-league glory and let it die. You must part from what, if your kid pursued his passion seriously, had become a routine of away games and early-morning practices, hours in the car, a hot cup of coffee in your cold hand as the sun rose above the Wonderland of Ice, in Bridgeport, Connecticut; the Ice Arena in Brewster, New York; the Ice Vault, in Wayne, New Jersey—home of the Hitmen, whose logo is a pin-striped gangster with a hockey stick. And you’ll suddenly find yourself watching the Stanley Cup playoffs not in the way of a civilian but with the chagrin of knowing that the game’s upper ranks will never include your kid.
One recent morning, courtesy of Facebook Memories, I came across an old picture of my son, a high-school junior who recently announced his decision to quit hockey—to retire! The photo was taken by teammates after a victory at Lake Placid, New York. Sweat-soaked, draped in the arms of friends, grinning like a thief, he looked no less ecstatic than Mike Eruzione after he and his team won Olympic gold in the same arena in 1980.
And me? I was this Eruzione’s old man, waiting with the other parents outside the locker room, experiencing a moment of satisfaction greater than any other I’d known, either as a player or as a fan. I was a car in park with the accelerator pressed to the floor. I was a wall bathed in sunlight. This win was better than the Illinois State Championship I won with the Deerfield Falcons, in 1977. It was better than the Bears’ 1986 Super Bowl victory.
Bears’ 1986 Super Bowl victory.
Read: I thought I’d found a cheat code for parenting
The end began like this: One evening, after the last game of the high-school season, I asked my son if he’d be trying out for spring league. For a youth-hockey kid, playing spring league is the equivalent of a minor-league pitcher playing winter ball in Mexico—so necessary as a statement of intent and means of improvement that forgoing it is like giving up “the path.” Rather than a simple affirmative nod, as I’d expected, I got these words: “I’m going to think about it.” Think about it? For me, this was the same as a girlfriend saying, “We need to talk.”
Only later did I realize that those words were the first move in a careful choreography. My son wanted to quit, but in a way that would not break my heart. He also didn’t want me to rant and rave and try to talk him out of it.
We had reversed roles. He was the adult. I was the child.
He knew he would not be playing college hockey even if he could. With this in mind, he had decided to use his final year of high school to get to know people other than hockey players and spend time in places other than hockey rinks. In the way of a pro with iffy knees nearing the age of 35, he had decided to exit on his own terms. He was not worrying about losing his identity as a player or about missing the camaraderie of the locker room; he was worrying about me. Hockey had been an entire epoch of our father-son life. It had ushered me, the sports parent, out of my 30s, through my 40s, and into my 50s.
.... Because I am human, I tend to blame entities or systems or other people for things that strike me as unfair. As my son progressed, I caught a glimpse, for one fabulous, deluded moment, of the life that he (we, I) would never live: high-school athletic stardom followed by college triumph and possibly even a professional-hockey career. That I knew this was a fantasy—he was never that good—did not make it less powerful. Lost in it, I experienced my life as an NHL fan with new intensity. I was not just watching the Blackhawks; I was scouting, picking up tricks that I could pass to my glory-bound boy. This was a dream that I was too embarrassed to share with anyone, even my wife. I regarded it the way members of the Free French regarded the liberation of Paris: Think of it always; speak of it never. In short, I lost my way. Rather than letting him enjoy the moment and the fact that these seasons were his career, not a preparation or a path toward one, I was constantly scheming about his next move, his next opportunity, his next shot at the big time.
Here’s the worst part: I knew exactly what I was doing. I was attempting to replace my kid’s will with my own. I knew that it was wrong and, worse, counterproductive. The more I pressed, the less he enjoyed the game. The less he enjoyed the game, the worse he played. The worse he played, the more I pressed. Economists call this a negative feedback loop. I knew it but could not stop. It was psychosis.
Maybe the most notorious sports parents suffer from a shared psychological condition. LaVar Ball, Emmanuel Agassi, Earl Woods—those sports dads were all obsessed to the point of being abusive. I prefer to think that I am not; yet, for all the varying degrees of our kid’s success, our predicament is the same. At some point, even if it comes after 20 years in the pros, the set will be rolled away, revealing our true location. Rink parking lot. Beat-up vehicle. Alone. Even the child prodigies will retire.
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/05/ice-hockey-sports-parent/678347/

Hello! So it seems you came across my profile. Here you will find all sorts of information about my roleplay style, so let's get to it.
Firstly, i would like to address something. I play sub males, not dom. Also, I'm not a big fan of playing big, flirty, muscular men either. I perfer to play more shorter and cute men!
For roleplay length, I require at least a good paragraph per roleplay reply as I struggle with replying to one liners or non detailed replies. Also, I typically strictly in third person! Reason being is because first person makes me extremely uncomfortable because at that point, your just playing yourself rather than a character.
As for kinks, I enjoy the following. Flirty, protective females. Wholesome moments, hand jobs, blow jobs, compliments, praising, soft skin, thighs, cute nicknames, aftercare, gentle doms. If I find anymore kinks, I'll add them here!
Here are my limits. Spit, sweat (any mention of it, strange I know), hairy body parts, cheating (harems are fine as long as all females are ok with it), breeding, pregnancy, really anything rough. If I come up with more, I'll Ladd them here!
If yoy think we will mesh well together, feel free to send me a chat!

Trigger Warning for those who can be affected: romantic relationships, trust issues, lying, deceiving, age difference in sexual affairs, sexual intimacy.
Using throwaway so I do t get recognised by the details.
Hi all, So me - M23 -, I'm in a relationship with my gf F24 for nearly a year now. About 3 months into the relationship I found out from her that she used to be in a "friends with benefits" type of situation with an older guy - M51. They "casually" hooked up a few times, prior to her meeting me closer. The problem is that I know the guy fairly well. Well, the three of us work in the same company, same building, pretty much same floors as me and my gf are same department and the Guy is pretty much everywhere in our workplace. Him being 51 is my one concern as when it started between them 2.5 years ago she was only 21 turning 22 and he was nearly 49. Second problem is he's manipulative as hell, mirrors emotions and behaviours, pretends to be this super helpful gentleman but then talks people down and uses his help as a currency for "favours". Third problem is he's married. He even has a daughter, older than my gf by nearly a decade. EDIT: FORGOT TO MENTION THIS I ORIGINAL POST - he has not informed my current gf at the time they were a thing that he is married, neither did he show signs. In fact she just found out he has a daughter from my mom a few days back and looked shocked tbf. My mom doesn't know about any of it so she didn't understand why is my gf standing there in awe but I did my best to hide the truth and just waffle our way out of this conversation. I can't comprehend how any father would just blatantly go with a girl that's his daughter's age or younger, especially while having a wife. You got everything you can ask for and still look for more... 4th problem is that it's not just my gf. It has been several girls. Once I found out what happened between my gf and him I digged up a few informations and found out he's been doing this kind of thing for years, and he's acting like nothing ever happened. He still doesn't know that I found out and he's acting like nothing was ever between them two towards my gf. And 5th, last but not least. I think the worst problem of them all is that it took a tremendous hit on my gf's mental health. She has told me that she wished I'd never found out and she didn't exactly mean on telling me but she could tell it was getting serious between us and i noticed a few outlying stories when she'd tell them to me and connected the dots too quick pretty much. She wanted to act like nothing ever happened but when she told me it was as if something inside her broke the wall of emotions and gave her a medium to pour her anger and sadness out to. Now from my own life and feelings I can tell that I won't leave her over that. It's in the past, she had no right to know we'd end up together so happy and this could post a threat to us so it's not a valid reason to end a relationship. And I don't wanna end it to be honest. She's a wonderful woman and treats me better than I could ever feel I deserve so all I try to do is really match the level of happiness I give her to the one she gives me. But I can't lie and say it doesn't bother me. Sometimes when we're in bed it just flashes into my mind that this Guy was in the same position with her. That he used her for his pleasure and didn't even care about her after, pretending nothing happened. Also, I've always struggled with young population being hurt, especially with p3dos and abusers. I've got desensitised to death, wounds, blood and all gore stuff (I have worked in healthcare and I'm in anatomy major now) but I can't stand adults using and abusing children. It just kills me deeply since they don't know much better when they're young. I also can't comprehend how could he do it to his wife. And daughter too. What if they find out? Will he just pretend nothing happened? I know for sure he'd lie about it and say it's all bollocks and bullshit but that's not how it was. And truth always comes out on top. It tempts me so much to gather all that info I found along with the girls' names and ages and just to give it to his family.
That was few months back. It hit me like a truck but I went into therapy with this being main concern and somehow managed to get better. I ended up not including his family in the whole ordeal as I have found out that his now ex-wife is not really in the picture and they have parted their ways over unknown reasons. But... Literally yesterday I finally got told by my gf that in fact, her FWB thing didn't end in January last year but instead shortly before we began dating, and that whilst dating me she went to his house again to tell him that they won't be able to continue this situationship. And that she also lied to me that she's never sent him explicit pictures. She did. And apparently she needed about an hour to talk to him about ending it while being in relationship with me, and that they talked a bit about cars and life stuff. Also of course she denies that anything happened and tells me all our relationship was true and she means it all that she loves me etc. I feel like a wreck. Barely slept all night. I feel used and deceived into believing it was nothing where she treats him like some sort of child she has to protect. And yes, of course I was hit with the "I don't deserve you" I don't know what to feel or do. I'm just existing in the mere present, trying to focus on work and not give any signs of trouble to my family. They all love my gf and are so happy that I finally found someone who treats me right (I've left 5 year long abusive relationship before and had been a subject to bullying, death threats and many more devastating experiences). At least in hindsight she treated me well. And promised that everything between us was true. But she was scared she'd lose me if I found out, first of all about their affair and then about the fact that she lied. But I can't understand how could she love me and still lie straight to my face. Pretend nothing like that ever happened and deleted all their conversations so that noone finds out. She feels horrible, I can tell that. But so do I. Hell, terrible is an understatement. I feel like a void of a person. And the thing is I can't even hurt her back. I just can't fathom hurting her but what did I ever do to deserve getting treated like this again? And the moment I see her in person I feel sad but also so so so mad and angry, I don't even hold my words back and I know it hurts both of us but I just don't know what to say or do. I just ask questions and feel like shit hearing the answers. And worst part is noone apart from the three of us and redditors here know about this. I don't ever wanna say this to my family or friends I don't want them to hate her. But if we end up separating how do I ever explain it to them. What will her poor parents think. I'd miss them too. Her mom even called me her future son-in-law, and she's great woman. I help her around the house all the time. Her dad's a handyman so he gets along with me like my own old man. I don't wanna lose everything I've built and given over the last year but it feels like it's just sand falling through my hands now. I don't know how can i even believe what she's saying

Need some advice
Hello everyone! I’m 20Fand my bf is 35 M and we’ve together for like almost a year and recently he mentioned that we can’t be together anymore cuz we both are in foreign country and he gotta go back to his country cuz of visa issue and I gotta keep staying cuz I’m still in university. He said step back my steps and be prepared for the future like that so I asked him why ?what’s wrong , is there someone else and we’ve been doing good together so … he answered me back like I dun even have confidence to tell my mom about him like idk ( actually I do have have a confidence to tell my mom but waiting for a good time) now I feel like he’s just blaming me or taking that as a reason to break up or smth . I have no clue what to do next and so lost ! Plz give me some advices 🙏🏻 sh I just break up with him cuz why would I be with someone who doesn’t see the future with me so.

I feel guilty and I think I have felt guilty for a long time but it’s at its worst now. I can’t go a single day without feeling like a mistake and like everyone in my life would be happier if I was gone. It’s weird because I’m scared of dying but I hate living. I lost my job earlier in the year and have been trying to get a new one with no success and my partner is thinking about getting a second job. I feel like I’ve ruined their life. Every time I tell someone in my life that they made me sad or upset they fly off the handle emotionally and make me feel like a super villain so I think I’m shutting down now the guilt is so intense. I don’t have any friends anymore and my family doesn’t really want to talk to me unless I’m employed. My mom even jokes about how she wished she ate me at birth like an animal would. I don’t even want to go out of the apartment anymore because I’m starting to get scared of going out. I’m just so tired hopefully I find work and get therapy to sort out my head.

Okay, so, first, my side. On Jan 28th of this year(2024), I was walking with my wife. We enjoy going for 2-3 hour walks every day, m(well we did, lol) and the last thing I remember was that I said to her “I feel dizzy”, then about 30 minutes or so later, I came to screaming in pain, as i was being put in a stretcher thingy for an Ambulance. For me, I have no memory of those 30ish minutes, according to my wife, I was trying to stand up and do other dumb shit.
Apparently, I had a stroke, seizure, or something, fell, most likely backwards, and severely broke my L7. I have a photo of the CT they did of my spine in Emerg. It’s pretty fucked.
So, that’s how my life has been for almost the last 4 months. It’s not healing and I won’t go into why i haven’t had surgery or something yet.
Well, because of this, I’ve had a great excuse to not see or deal with my mother. It’s been great(aside from the horrible physical pain and nerve pain).
Apparently 4 days ago. My mother messages me that her mother is in the hospital, I hate my Grandma so i didn’t really care.
Then 2 days later, she calls me, telling me that she’s the one actually in the hospital, basically dying. She’s saying she can’t breathe, they think she has cancer(with no symptoms or even what kind. Just “cancer”), that she’s getting a MRI of her brain because she’s been getting headaches, so she said the doctors think she some brain disease, I forget which, she was also getting a random ultrasound of her intestines, and she had a blood clot in her lungs, and because of that, she’s being put on blood thinners for the next year or longer, oh, and she’s on the verge of a heart attack because she claims her heart rate is “too high” but isn’t getting an EKG, or anything. There are a few other things I’m forgetting, aswell. But when you’re told such blatant lies, your mind can only register so much.
My wife and I guess is that she wasn’t happy that my back was giving me a valid reason to not deal with her bullshit, and this all happened on Mother’s Day, and since I didn’t go visit her in the hospital(BECAUSE I CANT), she starts to scream at me at how much I’m a piece of shit, how I don’t love her, how much my wife has turned me into a heartless monster, and when she dies from this(not even a “if”), I’ll be kicked out of her Will, and even though she supposedly paid 15,000 dollars for a spot in a mausoleum(or whatever those are called. Where your corpse is in a stone drawer, instead of the ground) and made a huge deal about how her body HAS to be placed in one, that I will not be getting any of her ashes when she’s cremated.
At this point. While I’ve started to find it funny. In the moment, I was absolutely furious. She knows full well of my horrible medical issues. Ive had a double lung transplant, I’ve been through stage 4 lymphoma, the transplant meds and chemo have really caused me alot of issues with my brain, I’ve broken my spine twice, for the last 2 years I’ve had a BP of like 180/140(roughly, and it actually caused worry in some of my doctors) and just recently got put on meds to bring that down, and so much more.
It’s so fucked that a parent who’s seen her own son struggle to survive, time and time again, to be told countless times “he’s not going to make it” to pull this shit.
I’m so done with her bullshit that if she were to die, I don’t think I would even shed a tear. After 36 years of narcissistic abuse, actually abuse, financial abuse, and more, there just isn’t any emotions for her anymore.

Hey fellow ESTPs,
I'm in a bit of a pickle. My boss is a total ESTJ - super organized, detail-oriented, and loves to be in charge. Which, in theory, shouldn't be a problem. But, they're also super bossy, micromanaging every single thing I do. Like, I can't even grab a coffee without them giving me a detailed rundown of the perfect coffee order (and it's gotta be black, no sugar!). 😩
I'm starting to feel suffocated. I'm a hands-on, action-oriented person, and I thrive on autonomy. This constant nagging is seriously killing my vibe and my productivity.
So, my question is: how do you guys deal with these overly bossy bully like ESTJs?
Do you have any tips on how to get them to back off without creating a huge drama? I need to find a way to manage this situation without losing my sanity (or my job, lol).
Any advice or relatable experiences are greatly appreciated! 🙏
P.S. If anyone has a good "get out of micromanagement free" card, I'm all ears! 😂

Hi, I've done programming for 4 years in high school, some Pascal, algorithms, but mainly C++. That was roughly 16 years ago. I have done a degree in Philosophy and worked in graphic design for around 7 years. I don't like graphic design anymore, since there's a lot of new AI programs which do it a lot better than designers, and I was never passionate about it anyway. Do you think there's a chance to get back into programming? Are there any websites you recommend to give me guidance? Do I need to make some applications or games first to have as a portfolio? I don't know if that would be enough. I might need to take some up to date courses too, like coding boot camps, but I don't have money for it. I was thinking of getting an entry level job in IT like desktop support then save some money for coding classes. Or do you think I should just forget about classes and jump right into it? I was very good when I did it and could do own applications and games. It was just such a long time ago. Thank you.

Hi all! I’m not sure if this goes against the groups rules while it is for homework it’s a little different than just asking for an answer. Delete if not allowed. I need to interview someone who is a professional in the field of kinesiology, physical therapy, athletic trainer etc. It’s for a final paper for my college course. I’m new to the area I live in and don’t know anyone in any of these fields so I figured I’d turn to reddit. Also I don’t need any super and in-depth answers. Below are the questions and info I would need 1. Name doesn’t have to be full I’m okay with a nickname for privacy reasons 2. Specific degree and or training 3. Place of employment also for privacy reasons it could be like a hospital, private practice etc. (I don’t need the specific name) 4. Please describe your kinesiology field 5. What is your current job title 6. Please describe your particular job and duties 7. What is your average work schedule 8. Starting with hs describe your educational background 9. If you had to do it over, related to your career or education would you do anything differently 10. What advice would you give to me as someone interested in pursing a career path similar to yours.

Lol, I can admit, maybe I bought too many boots :) I love them all, and can't figure out what to sell, but I have to start somewhere. It's 5:30am and my family is sleeping, but I can take pics today, feel free to shoot me a text or message me on here (I'm going to be working during the day, and am not lucky enough to have a work from home job) I am throwing a pic from a couple weeks ago.....lol I am hoping it will suffice until I take some this week
I have the extra cotton laces for all of them, but the boxes were thrown away (If I had boxes for all 40 pairs of boots, I would need a damn boot box room in addition to my boot room)
Ink Cheaha - I love these, they have the most wear on them (sole wise,) $300 shipped CONUS
Evergreen Cheaha - Sweet boots, wore them twice (we dressed up as the grinch, cindy lou, and Max, and terrorized santas in malls and got pictures taken with them....it was hilarious, and fun. But I don't wear these, and am about to start cutting grass in them just to use them.....figured I should sell them to let someone appreciate them) They are my Grinch boots! $300 shipped CONUS
Wooly Bully Roughout W Speedhooks - literally just bought them, wore them twice for maybe 3 hours total, still need broken in. $325 shipped (I think I paid $435 maybe a month or two ago)
Vintage Military horserump MTO - killing me, barely worn, I will regret this as they are buttery soft. $450 shipped
Black Chamois - barely worn, got less than a month ago $425 Shipped Maybe worn twice, need broken in
Grant Stone Diesel Kangaroo - sweet ass boots, barely worn $300 Shipped CONUS
Feel free to text me 412-699-6793
I have a 9 month old son and a daughter on the way. My boot room is being converted into a nursery for the new little girl (my son took my gym! IS NOTHING SACRED!!!????) Lol, no I need to stop living like bachelor John, and be more family focused. Although I love these boots, I love my family a bit more ;)
Stay blessed and unstoppable!
Enjoy whatever boots you are wearing!!
Thanks for checking out my ghetto ass sales thread ;) It needs PICS!!!! I know lol

Five months ago my husband and I agreed to start TTC this summer. We have been married for over 3 years and I honestly feel so ready: financially, emotionally, etc. I’ve been waiting for so long to be a mom and since the decision, I have been SOOO excited about our update timeline (which was made by a lot of persuasion, tears, conversations, etc.) and have been preparing for it (prenatals, etc) Side note: prior to this he wasn’t really on board and wanted to wait a few more years. Last night, he mentioned that he is not excited. He is “fine” with it. But not excited. He doesn’t enjoy talking about having kid(s)/growing our family, and doesn’t even want to really talk about it. He even kinda blows me off when I bring up the topic. It’s only 1 cycle away!! I don’t understand how he can be like this now. I’ve been counting down the days/months. I am in tears. I feel so ALONE as I don’t want to tell my family as I want to surprise them when it does happen. My friends don’t understand: some already pregnant, and some not ready/don’t have a significant other yet. I’m just not sure if I should continue with our timeline because he is only on board for me and not on board for himself (being a future dad). I’m not sure I should push it either with more discussions. Where do I go from here?

I noticed I genuinely prefer working over spending time with family. I am choosing to work overtime all the time, I am trying to find side gigs during weekends. And it is not about making more money. I earn a salary, it is a great salary, but it is not a salary that will grow with the hours I work. My wife seem to be ignorant of this fact for now, believing I just have a hard job, but the reality is I don't. I make it hard on purpose to get away from family time. My job is supposed to be full remote, but I intentionally go into the office instead of actually working remote. This sounds crazy when I type it out. And whatever down time I do have, I rather play video games or read articles alone.
I do love her though. I give her all of the money I earned, and I don't care if she spends it all, but I don't enjoy sitting down with her to watch TV, or go out to the beach with her. All of that stuff bores me. I am kind of this way when I was in school too, I enjoyed studying in my room more than hanging out with my friends or family, but I do see them as my friends and family. My parents used to think I am just conscientious, but actually no, I don't really enjoy studying, I just enjoy it more than doing things with them.
So I am debating what to do next. Should I tell her? Or just keep it under wraps for now? Both of us are kind of young, no kids, so it hasn't affected the relationship so far.
If it matters I am 26 and she is 24.
tl;dr I rather goto work than spending time with my wife. What should I do about it?

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[REQ] ($200) - (#cleveland, oh USA), (Repay on 5/31/24 - $200)

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Hi all, 1st time here (cleveland, oh) requesting 200 via paypal for immediate car issue that was very unexpected but needed asap. Alternator has gone bad, i Just paid my rent & bills and now my car feels like a whole extra child that needs immediate care/fix. Need 200$ to be able to afford total repair cost Pls lmk If I forgot anything thanks! ( will Repay 275 by 5/31/24 or the interest amt required by lender) I'm a mom of 2 that works in hospice daily so my car is necessary!. 1st time here as I'm usually one to give and try to help others but this time I'm in need of a little help