Hi Reddit, so I’ll try to keep this as concise as possible while still giving you all the facts. Let us start from the beginning, my at the time 21 y.o. step-brother, was going through his first big break up. Instead of confiding in others or taking time to understand his emotions he instead picked up a book about the stages of love. Let me also explain that my brother has never been the smartest guy and mainly gets by on his good looks and charm in his life. Anyway this book gave the usual “love requires fighting to work it shows that you care about the other” you know stuff everyone already knows. I’m guessing because it came from a book ,or because it was plainly saying what he was too naive to understand about what he was feeling, he became infatuated with every line. Anytime I would have relationship problems he would quote the self help books he had read since and recommend me ones to read. This went on for while but eventually I finished nursing school and moved out of my family’s house (which is my mother’s house, this is important for later) to start working.
Now fast forward to four years later. I’m living on my own with my the love of my life, working the night shift in the hospital like I’ve always wanted. On my way home on night I called my mom to catch up on my drive home. We started talking and eventually I asked about my step-brother. She explained that he was still living at home and had no plans on getting a job or moving out (for context my brother graduated with a master’s degree a year ago). I found that odd and asked what he is doing now. My mom explained that he just makes music and does podcasts with his friends. He apparently says he wants to be an entrepreneur. Which is fine everyone wants to make it big doing what they love doing however. My mother also explained that he constantly invites people she doesn’t know to her house to hangout and when she gets off of work she comes home to strangers that expect her to cook for them. My mother then started tearing up saying “I don’t feel like it’s my house anymore”. That’s when I got upset. I asked her why doesn’t she kick him out or at least start asking for rent so he has to get a job. She explained that she wanted to do that but my step father wouldn’t allow it. My mother and step father have a wonderful marriage and never fight, but because my stepbrother is his son he has attachment to him. My mom recently had to kick her daughter (my blood related sister) into the camper as well since my step sister (19 y.o.) lets her boyfriend stay on weekends in what used to be the girls room. My mother keeps explaining that all of these situations are putting stress on their marriage and by kicking out her daughter she feels like she betrayed her just so my stepfather’s kids can get their way in her house.
After this phone call I was livid so I called my step brother to confront him. After asking the normal “hi how are you” I asked if he has started looking for a job and he said “why would I?”. I responded “so you can work and move out”. Then he said “im in my 20s this is the time you are supposed to chase your dreams” he then pointed out that I always wanted to be a YouTuber or streamer and I should go for it. I then said you know I have a job now and I have to give that job a lot of my time in order to afford the life I live. He basically laughed and explained that there is always enough time. Not much important was said after that.
Now fast forward a few weeks later I see posts from his Instagram talking about how “social media is poison, take back your life, put down your phone, etc.” (Crazy to post that on social media btw). I have also come across his podcast which are just him and his friend who both have the combined IQ of a beheaded chicken explain that the universe is big and has like billions of stars and stuff. 0.0 his entire personality now is saying basic facts at the surface level and then acting like it’s deep as fuck. Furthermore the constant insistence on following your passion mixed with the complete ineptitude of being able to comprehend how smug and pretentious he is during any interaction has breed some real distain from anyone who can see through his act.
All of these posts about self help combined with the complete ignorance of how his actions putting a negative effect on our family has really put a barrier between us. I really don’t think I can take it anymore and I want to either try to explain that he has become a pretentious douche who only keeps around yes men who all think a fact for 5th graders they learn at the zoo makes them better than everyone else, but I honestly think he will just say I don’t understand or maybe I should read this book about stress. I’ve went over the situation with friends of mine and they all laugh when they see his posts and hear him talk now. For God sake he held his 25th birthday party recently and said for everyone to bring a book to exchange knowledge to one another and wear business casual.
I just want my mom to feel like the home she worked tirelessly as a single mother all those years to afford for our family is hers. I have always been so close to my brother and I want him back as a friend. I want my sister to be able to live in the house she was raised in instead of in a camper.
Well that’s everything as of now left out a lot of stories about him being directly wrong about facts he tells us or times he got called out and embarrassed about shit but I think I’ll just leave it here. I plan on confronting him soon I just don’t know what to say. Thank you for your time.

After a long night of booze and self-loathing, I finally passed out and dreamt I moved into a brand new apartment. As I’m walking around the apartment, I get to the kitchen where there’s a random toilet in the corner. This catches my eye and I sit down on it. Immediately a sense of panic crosses over me and the dream basically tells me “It’s okay. You’re being crazy. This is a toilet, just use it”. And I do 🤦🏽‍♀️ I pee so long and so good that I later woke up bathed in its golden glory.
After cleaning up, I laugh it off and go back to bed. The issue I’m having now is that panic feeling I got in the dream is now happening to me when I pee in real life. It’s almost like “Oh shit, am I dreaming? Gotta make sure this is real.” Then I do, but it continues for the entirety of the pee stream 😣 Is there anybody out there who’s experienced this? What are some tips to get over this piss anxiety?

Will start from the first me [25F] joined the current manufacturing industrial company from a IT company. The current job hop happened when I was 1.5 years into my IT career. So it was overwhelming for me how a day ago I was doing security patching and now am surrounded by all these machineries and welding stuff, they make air distillation columns.
Now 9 months in to this new career as a Quality Assurance Trainee, i still feel like I'm going no where. A new company intern has joined and i see massive potential in him and he could be a better asset than me. Now again i heard another intern is joining from America and the reality of "oh well am replaceable" is hitting me.
My boss initially when I joined, in front of another department asked me about isometrics and I had no idea so I told "no I don't know" and he laughed and all then proceeded to explain it to me. And after that meeting he said, you graduated from mechanical 2 years back and you don't remember it, seems like IT ruin people.
He is helpful and guides me through times. But some back hand comments have affected me. Like once i didn't know how to use a punching machine because last time i used was 8 years ago and this one was quite different rather the normal one you see. So he went "You need to be taught everything".
Now in this new job I was hellah depressed at the first 2 months fully suicidal. 3 weeks into joining he had a meeting with me and he told me you don't know any of the company procedures. I felt like a looser and still do. from there the nightmares started. I couldn't sleep because all I could think about was NCR (non conformity report)
But the nightmare's stopped eventually, until recently it got worse so My boss has 2 sub ordinates in which one i have no idea what work they are doing? Their responsibility was this Gemba file. Now it has come to me and I'm the one dealing with it along with the new intern. NCR log full control on me. with 85% completion done by me. and i have close NCR verify root cause and corrective action taken. corrective action verification and CoPQ. Have to follow up for internal audits, Quality capitalization. I feel like am doing a lot and still not satisfied with my work.
Recently my boss went for vacation and during that time there were 2 NCR which needed RCA and since he told me to do check that and i said okay. He was not here and we needed Internal meeting with concerned stakeholders so i asked my boss's boss who is HOD of our department, what to do and he said, no do just fact verification. And once my boss came back. He asked for this and i replied I didn't do RCA cause this is what happened. And he went so it feels like you're boss is not me but our HOD. And after that nightmare's started which lead to, where i couldn't talk to my HOD also. Like my boss getting angry at me telling he is the boss of me so do what I say. Declining a promotion because I was doing a bad job and my boss won't like me if I get promotion cause I'm underserving.
Yesterday I had another meeting and i was not able to attend a meeting which happens daily, and in that daily meeting we update the status of current number of NCR and CoPQ etc. through a dashboard graph which to be updated regularly at 1:00pm. For updating easily info is given through a group chat in WhatsApp and it is to be updated in a google sheet file, before going I told him I'll update it but i got busy and forgot to update it. My boss called me during the meeting and i didn't answer the call cause meeting got prolonged and once i came back, he went " Where is the update, you told me you will update it." And i didn't replied anything. Just said sorry and I updated that file. My only question is it's a copy paste data, why did he wait for me? and it should be updated at 1:00pm I left for meeting at 12:15pm so if i update then the data would be in accurate. He has explicitly told me it should contain data till 1:00 pm
TLDR My boss doesn't value me and it's affecting my personal life. I wonder if it is workplace abuse

100 Girlfriends is a series that I think is pretty neat, considering its been my hyperfixation for the past couple of years. It's very much a solid riff at the genre of harem romcoms and takes at lot of time to actually break down each member of its cast and really ask how their character quirks really affect them, eventually transforming into world's weirdest group dynamic, where more attention is given towards how each girl interacts with each other as the cast expands ever further. Though that doesn't stop the showcases of sheer love and dedication that Rentarou is willing to convey every time he gets the spotlight. Also its funny as hell.
Hardly means its perfect though, as people have pointed out the many flaws of the story, including its pacing, the questionable nature of its relationships due to the age gaps and familial relations, as well as a general dislike of the whole 100 soulmates plot device. I'd love to discuss and refute these point in a later post (particularly the last one boy do I have counterarguments to certain objections) but this prelude is long enough as is, so let's get talking about the main subject of this rant: Chapter 119 aka Fondle Festival 2.
Momiji Momi is the 15th girlfriend introduced, and she has a naturally contentious main quirk. She is a training masseuse with a fascination for soft things, a fascination that spreads specifically to the body parts of others. This results in a penchant towards groping both the girls and Rentarou alike, usually with no direct ask to do so from Momiji.
This is a questionable trait and runs the natural risk of turning her into a Mineta, but a few different factors keep it decently justifiable. The main point here is she is constantly giving out massages to Rentarou's Family and others, usually before any sort of inappropriate gropage. Hell, her first interaction was Rentarou finding her after massaging the school's entire tennis team, who had literally collapsed from the sheer pleasure and relief of the massage, and in her introduction to the group proper she straight up offers to massage the rest of the cast first and foremost, and only after is the cast willing to offer up their bodies for feeling up. It takes on a sort of transactional exchange, the cast gets free massages from Momiji, and Momiji gets to indulge in her urge to touch where she wants (sans probably the d and the v). And the entire cast seems pretty fine with it, not really reacting after a while most of the time.
Momiji also isn't just focused on the fanservice bits; her penchant for soft things stretches to bouncy house, hot buns, bread dough, and Nami boob mouse pads. Even just looking at the human body she is interested is far from boobs and butts, going to cheeks, stomachs, hands, arms, and backs. While she still is there to highlight the goods when the time comes, Momiji comes off much more than a character exclusively meant to justify fanservice, even if she is debatably the simplest and flattest girl of the main cast so far.
Enter Fondle Festival 2, generally considered one of the series few actual misses chapter wise alongside the obnoxious introductory chapters of Chiyo as well as Beef Tongue, which I could write an entire other rant about so help me god. But Fondle Festival 2 has its status for a reason, as it very much murks up the ideas of consent.
To keep things brief, Momiji ends up swapping bodies with Rentarou through the powers of a convenient drug brewed up by resident ridiculous scenario causer Kusuri, and immediately goes to grope the boobs of every single girl on the rooftop with her new boy hands without the girls realizing its Momiji for a significant amount of time and absolutely without them giving a clear thumbs up.
Consent is a bit of a grey area in 100 Girlfriends more generally, mainly because as a gag series it does have a status quo that it needs to maintain for its cast. Usually most characters are pretty good about their ridiculous demands in terms of directly asking about it, but no matter how many times the characters say no or tell them to stop, such questions and actions will of course continue in the next chapter simply due to wanting to be able to pull out those traits for jokes again. Momiji herself is a perpetrator considering how often her groping is considered a gag in a panel even if it is making the characters uncomfortable, though she is far from the worst offender (looking at you Hahari). For the most part characters are willing to call out stuff that is actively bad and say in pretty uncertain terms that its terrible, but this stuff still does happen due to the nature of the genre and how characters are defined.
In the context of Fondle Festival 2, the girls in question are...mostly okay with it? They acknowledge that this is a weird situation and bunch actually take advantage of said situation to fulfill their less than kosher desires, and by the end its revealed that basically all of them caught onto what had happened and were totally taking advantage of it.
The problems start with only most of the girlfriends being okay with it. Uto completely breaks her chuuni bard persona and is left frozen in shock at such an event, unclear if she was okay with it. Several girls try to get Momiji to stop and get an unwanted grope because of it, and Mimimi straight up slaps Momiji (who Mimimi assumed was Rentarou) and insinuates for them to stop, but Momiji continues undetered. Multiple girls very clearly and explicitly give a sign that they are not okay with this and they need to stop, yet Momiji continues to make them feel uncomfortable.
My largest problem, however, is when you realize that Momiji is using Rentarou's body for this. Rentarou is a bastion of chastity in essentially every regard, going to frankly ridiculous length to prevent any sexual advances from the girls or himself. He straight up does not allow himself to think of the girls in a sexual if he can allow it, as he sees it as demeaning of the girls themselves and that would be a failure on his part. Is it a kind of ridiculous belief? Yes. Is it still his own belief that he holds up to the best of his ability? Also yes, and that needs to be respected.
Fondle Festival 2, in my humble opinion, does not respect that belief in a really frustrating way. I can't say for certain what good body swapping etiquette is, but I don't imagine that going off in someone else body and doing something that stands directly against their characterization, especially since Rentarou was knocked out for most of this, and Momiji even ends up groping Rentarou/her own chest, which makes this even murkier.
Momiji does end up getting some level of comeuppance by the end of the chapter through a taste of her own medicine and she fully apologizes to the girls about the whole incident in the bonus page of the chapter, but I'd argue the damage has been done and it doesn't stop the gross feeling I got when reading the chapter, either the original japanese raws or the translated version.
While I can shrug off a lot about this series, this flagrant ignoring of both the girls and Rentarou in this situation for the sake of a bit did not jive with me. Consent is important y'all.

I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve tried so many times. It’s hard for me to understand how someone could have such a tight grip on my heart. How someone could make my brain turn into mush, even after 13 years. I try so hard to forget about you. I do good for a while. Then I’ll have a very vivid dream about us and I’m back to square one. At this point I’m just tired of fighting it. I’m mentally and physically exhausted. You’ve given me some mixed signals over the years and they’re all I can think about. I have so many questions. Do you have feelings for me? Do you think about me? Do you want me as much as I want you? When you look at a sunset do you wish I was there with you? When you lay in bed at night do you wish I was holding you? Do you ever wish you could hold my hand? Do you think about kissing me?
I do. I think about you when I see a sunset. I think about holding your hand while walking down a beach. I think about taking you on romantic dates. I think about kissing your lips. I think about caressing your face and looking into your beautiful green eyes. I think about you when I’m with friends because I know you would add so much to the conversation because you’re hilarious. I think about holding you while we sleep, feeling your body on mine. I think about making you laugh because it’s so easy to do. I love your laugh. I think about you so much it hurts. I want you. I always have and I probably always will. I can’t fight it anymore.

I grew up in a small rural ski town where I was one of the poorest kids in my elementary school. My mom had just moved my brother and me away from my dad and we were struggling, we lived in motels for a bit and crashed at some of her friends' houses before moving into a cheap basement suit with two bedrooms, my brother got his own while I shared a room with my mom. There was only one twin-sized bed so she would usually sleep on our armchair in the living room so I could have the bed. She worked two jobs at a grocery and convenience store while putting herself through night school in the town over. We didn't have much money for food so my school lunches were always one item, usually some form of squash or a Ziploc of lentils. Being in a mountain town in Canada you can imagine how cold it was in the winter; we didn't have a car so my brother and I had to walk to school in freezing temperatures, by the time we got there I was in tears with a red nose and my hair frozen solid. It took a while for things to get better but they did when my mom got her nursing license and picked up a stable job, eventually, we moved up to middle class and the moment I was old enough to work I wouldn't stop. I saved almost everything I made from the age of thirteen. My brother joined the military and I focused on school and sports so I could get into college which I'm glad to say I successfully did. I moved to the city for school and everything was so different, all of the friends I made came from ridiculously rich families and went out almost every night since they had the money to spend on drinks and clubs. I'm in engineering while the majority of my friends are in some form of the arts, we got along because I'm a bookworm. I was speaking with one of them who I'll call Shannon, she's in screenwriting and cinematography in the hopes of becoming a director. She mentioned to me that she wants to make her student film centred around poverty and the working class to shine a light on it. During this discussion, The Florida Project (a great movie) was brought up, I told her that I related heavily to that movie and she kind of huffed a laugh and then said "What? Did you live in a motel or something?" To which I answered "Yes," With a straight face. I could tell that Shannon felt bad since she clearly didn't know how I was brought up since it isn't something I tend to slip into casual conversation. Shannon asked more questions about my childhood and what it was like to live in poverty, we left the topic alone after that day but two weeks later she came to me with her screenplay and asked me to read it. I was appalled to say the very least. She had taken my very personal stories and turned them into an extra shitty episode of Euphoria. Everything I had told her had been put into her script but not as I told them, the main character went through these things and was unphased by everything that happened, disappointed in her mother for not doing enough and fighting with her evil drug addict brother. I wanted to cry, specifically at the depiction she had turned my family into, my hard-working and loving mother was written off to just be a slacker when in reality she was doing absolutely everything she could to give both me and my brother a good life and then my straight edge military brother was turned into the scum of the earth. The depiction of my poverty she wrote had me sick to my stomach, the main character was a sex addict, the mother was an alcoholic, and the brother had a drug addiction as well as abused the main character. I told her that not every person living in poverty was poor because of an addiction or crutch and sometimes it was just an unfortunate circumstance, in our case, it was fleeing from my abusive dad and trying to get on our feet. It also irked me how she had written it to be completely tragic and sad but I was a child for most of it and didn't realize how bad it was; when the power would go out it would be a fun game of lights out for me and my brother, we didn't understand why my mom was so stressed out when we had to stay in hotels, all we knew was that we got to share a bunk bed and go swimming in the indoor pool. I wanted her to understand that we were still regular people when we were impoverished, we were just that, regular people who didn't have much. Shannon seemed embarrassed that I was so upset about what she wrote, it took me fifteen minutes to read the entire thing and we sat in complete silence as I did so, when I reached the last page I was crying. At first, she thought I was crying because I was so moved by her glamourization of addiction and poverty before I told her that I hated it. That was when Shannon began to cry. I had shut down her screenplay as soon as I finished it and I asked why she was crying. She moved on to say "It's loosely based on what you told me, it isn't meant to be you and your family." I wanted to laugh when she said this, even the name of the main character rhymed with mine, she kept the tragic events and cut out the good memories as well as the good nature of my mom and brother, I was livid. I want to tell you about one scene that made me want to strangle her: The family's power went out on the main character's birthday so they lit tea candles to see in the dark, the mother lit a cigarette with one of the candles before calling her daughter a slut and putting it out in her birthday cake- what happened in real life was the power had gone out on my birthday, my mom worked all day and came home with a discounted pride cake since my birthday is in June. My brother and I had lit the tea candles long before my mom came home, she smeared the 'Happy Pride!' text on the cake replaced 'pride' with 'birthday' using Nesquik then used the tea candles to light the candles for my cake. This was the first time I had ever gotten a birthday cake, I was eleven and it's one of my happiest memories to date. I'm realizing this is too long so I'll finish it off, she's proceeding with the student film despite me asking her not to and offering different plots to follow instead. Shannon had blocked my number and I haven't heard from her in a week aside from awkwardly seeing her around campus to which she looks the other direction and ignores me.

-Jack
Every kid growing up in Gympie in the early 90- 2000s knew about the Love Tunnel.
The love tunnel was located over the hill from the skatepark on the Riverbank. It was a massive storm water drain filled with spray paint and lore unbound throughout the generations; the glowing dick, whose name is the furthest in, the people who live inside, the bull shark that lived under the bridge just outside, all that fun stuff.
It collapsed in the late 2000’s in a flood and was eventually rebuilt, but it was all fancy, modern, safe and not the same. Back in the day it had decades of graffiti, crumbling cement, jagged metal pole framing bent and jutting out from the sides. You know, real character.
I remember when I was just a kid at the skatepark and I spotted a bunch of other kids at the metal grating of a drain. I joined them and gazed down a few metres to some older teenagers, they had trekked through this “love tunnel” under the massive hill all this way. Badass I thought. LEGENDARY.
I talked about it at school, about this mysterious “love tunnel”. It was in view from the road when I crossed the bridge everyday on my daily commutes from the backseat of mums car.
I would gaze down at the weir and see the top of the love tunnel, sliightly hidden from view by a hill. It fascinated me.
I learned all these mysterious tales; this person slept with this person there, someone took a dump at the entrance and some other girl stood in it and now she had a nickname, someone found needles, another found a homeless woman and she screamed at them. I was pumped for the next weekend. I was going to go see it for myself.
I saw too much.
Early Saturday morning I was riding my push bike through town and toward destination adventure! I started out at the skatepark, met up with a few of the regulars, a mix of 5-19y/o everyone on the half pipes and ramps had a code of comrady that I've never found in a public place anywhere else and you always had someone to hang with.
My usual crew slowly arrived through the morning, a bunch of other 10/11 year old misfits like myself and we headed on our first place on our journey, Hungry Jacks. Now we never technically stole, we found a loophole…
One or two would order a stunner meal, then we'd take privilege of the free refills and fill up the empty plastic 4L juice jugs that we all had prepped in our backpacks. Coke and red Fanta for days.
So we got our supplies and headed behind HJ, past the volleyball courts and headed down a bush track down to the river.
We walked along the banks to loop back down to where the bridge was, we passed a few teenagers fishing and a couple other groups of kids swinging from rope swings into the water or huddled in groups smoking things they shouldn't.
We eventually arrived at the weir and the stormwater drain that I had been so intrigued by. The Love Tunnel.
Climbing up the hill and seeing it up close when you were just a tiny human. It was like staring into the dark abyss of hell.
There was a small stream of water flowing out of the big grey cylinder and it was covered in multicolored quotes and crude pictures that was very eye opening at the time.
Our voices echoed as one by one we climbed up the grassy, eroding clay edging that was the makeshift path into the mouth that probably changed each time it rained. Each of us had pulled out clumps of grass that we thought were handholds. If you fell, you fell down an embankment of slippery jagged rocks poking out from the fast flowing river.
So were inside and began to walk a couple of metres in then around us the light abruptly disappeared into complete darkness. And I remember the way the sounds traveled you could feel it through your chest it was mesmerizing.
I remember bravely stepping into the darkness and taking five or six steps in. That thick darkness was something else, I ran myself back to that entrance and light, heart pounding from the adrenaline.
This turned into a game of who could go in the furthest. This stopped when one of the boys screamed out from the darkness in pain.
He was back in the light teary eyed a few moments later wet on one side and feigning a laugh. He'd slipped down and cut open his knee, it was hilarious. We teased him saying he was going to get gangrene and leprosy and a myriad of other ailments we had no idea actually was.
We decided to bail, we forgot torches, we didn't plan that part out too well, and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon being little menaces.
We met the next day with a game plan, we had an array of various sized torches, from small ones that didn't do anything, one of those giant rectangle ones that was our main light source, a couple of handheld ones, one which flickered and the other stopped working before we even got into the tunnel.
We got in safely and tested out our torches and began walking into the unknown. It was pretty much the same as before, but there were strange things, old makeshift bongs, shopping bags, random shoes, a shopping trolley, a mattress that was all moldy and rotted. I still to this day do not understand how people managed to get that shit in there.
We passed a section where someone had thrown a can of red paint all over the walls, the amount of those ‘S’ symbols was more terrifying.
We saw light up ahead, we were passing our first grate. It was kind of daunting looking up towards it. Even getting on each other's shoulders we couldn't reach. There was an array of broken beer bottles and glass was everywhere, under the grate was a dead snake amongst some debris.
We had a debate whether to go further, we ended up going on at least until the next grate, we came to a fork, one seemed like a smaller offshoot so we stuck to the bigger side.
There were more offshoots and we came to a part where the big pipes split off into three under another grate. We gazed up hoping to get an identifier of our location, but all we could see was blue. We called out to see if we could get anyone's attention.
“Cooooweeee” we shouted in unison, the sound echoing in all directions.
We were laughing and having a grand time until something shouted back, something that still shakes me to my core to this day.
Some yobbo crackhead chick in her fifties with this ratty pink tank top that was all stretched half showing her saggy titties. “What the fuck you think you little cunts doing down here.” This chick screeched at us through her few teeth or something along the lines of that. She just exploded at us with a barrage of threats.
We were shocked silenced moving together to make one mass.
One of the boys screamed when a skinny guy emerged from the darkness. He was covered in tattoos with scraggly hair and a beard, he was all crazy eyed and pantless.
Someone yelled out to run and it was all the motivation we needed.
We could hear them screaming and the guy ran after us, we heard glass shattering behind us, they must have thrown a bottle. We were legging it.
We got split up in our running, I fell down, tripping over some rubbish, one mate stayed back to help me, this left us without a torch. We came across the same kid who slipped over yesterday, he had slipped down again cutting open his other knee. He wore those with badges of honor at school, but he was blubbering like a baby at this point.
He had the flickering torch and it disoriented us more than helped, as it turned on and off every time he took a step. I thought we were lost but we found the other grate, then eventually the entrance.
The others were already climbed down, we were soon by their side panting in the grass and wiping away our tears so the others couldn't see.
We ran back over to the skatepark and immediately told every kid we saw.
That was the wildest shit we had ever experienced. Sure we’d seen crazy up on the street but to have it jump out at you from the shadows in a storm water drain was next level.
By that night one of the other boys had spilled to his parents about our escapades and a couple of other mums got phone calls, three got in trouble, two of us didn't, including me.
I never stepped foot back in that tunnel, I swam at the weir more times than I could count afterwards though and never encountered anyone else too sketchy.
I think only a year or two later I saw on the news people dying in storm water drains somewhere else in Aus, we never realized how dangerous they could be back then. Lol.
Every party or get together afterwards it was a crowd favorite to bring up. It was a good conversation starter and joined the tales amongst my friends of the weird shit that happens in ‘Helltown’.
Growing up and looking back they were probably just homeless drug addicts freaked out from a bunch of children's voices yelling out coooweee from the underground where they thought they were alone. That would have scared the shit outta me if I was them.
Good times.
.VJ
Tl:Dr kids go into storm water drain and find creepy couple who scream at them.

Hey guys, Long time lurker, first time poster. I live in a very quiet area with a generally older demographic, but the community Facebook group is absolutely feral. Boomers raging about the tiniest things and just generally being deranged. You know, the kind of stuff that makes you wonder if they realise what they’re doing is public. I was thinking of making a TikTok account where I just like, chronicle these funny moments and provide some entertaining commentary maybe. Obviously I would remove all and any names, the suburb name, facebook page name and anything at could identify anyone. Im still wondering if it’s ethical though? In my mind, they’re posting it on the internet so it’s fair game, but looking for your thoughts! Thanks

Posting from a friend's account. Sorry if anything doesn't make sense- I'm typing this on my phone from the Hospital as we wait to hear something. I know im working from the worst case scenario here, but I'm the kind of person who needs to know the facts so I can stop freaking out about what ifs.
I know my brother has me down as the first option for custody of their 4-year-old daughter. However, both of my brothers, their families, and our parents live in Oklahoma, while i'm in New York. I'm single with no kids, while our other brother has two boys (8 and 12).
I guess my main questions are:

1. If they die, would I get custody automatically, or is there a process first?
   
2. If there's a process, what does this involve? How long does it usually take?
   
3. What reasons might they have to refuse me custody? Would my location and marital status make a difference in any of this?
   

I'm praying that all of this is for nothing, but I need to know what I might be looking at. Thank you in advance for your help.

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Before I moved in to that house, my roommate was a fairly good friend because she was close to my ex who had recently passed from a heart condition. We got close while grieving his passing and felt a responsibility to help when we could. I had blessings coming in by the multitude and asa Buddhist I must give to receive or lose even more than having. She fell back into active addiction and since she put her home in her mom's name during her divorce 3-4 years prior, her mom was threatening to kick her out if changes weren't made because she has been covering all the taxes and living expenses of her and her then boyfriend, who lived with her at that time. I offered her a job working for me and offered to help with bus fare and provide lunch on days she worked. Her relationship was getting pretty toxic and she worked 2 days, asked to be advanced for 4 more days she never worked, and stopped answering my messages entirely. It out the blue 2 months later she reached out and I told her I was moving out because my lease wasn't getting renewed and had to pick where I wanted to move to and fast. She told me she wanted him out and was going to get a TPO so he couldn't fight her on leaving and wanted to be able to sell his tools and things as"revenge for the abuse she suffered". I didn't agree with that but agreed to support her and her keep her safe. She begged me to move in to help reinforce him needing to stay away. I ignorantly accepted and moved in to her 2nd bedroom. The 2nd day there we sat down and hashed out the details with her mom who at the time said "sounds like you ladies know what you're doing so I'll leave you to it." She let her mom come by every day it seemed like but the home was "good thing she's not your landlord or we'd be screwed!" After her ex stayed away a while she got bored or lonely, not quite sure which. She tracked him down and has him over while I was working one night. I was furious as he JUST burned his friends house down to the ground and caught him trying to pour my diffuser oils on paper and they had burn marks on them like he wanted to set my room in fire. I told her I wanted nothing to do with her being around him and want happy that he was there. So he stole my house key while sleeping. No matter how many times I asked, I couldn't get them to give me another one after that. That led to me having to stay at hotels I would walk to when I couldn't get inside and had only 5 or 6 hours before my next double shift. One day coming home she stopped him walking away from the house as we were pulling up so she pulled up next to him and invited him over. I got mad and went inside after pulling up to the house and packed a bag to go stay with my boyfriend who I had to make leave after she asked him to move in too but we went with it and wasn't one of the big problems. I feel asleep early and woke up to ask kinda of messages about her not narcaning him but thinks she should. She thought he might not be breathing but then sent memes and made some jokes. This man couldn't stand opiates, he hated her doing them and was the heart of what they broke up over. He despised them and wouldn't have willing done fentanyl when you couldn't get him to take a Vicodin after pulling his wisdom teeth. He was on life support for 4 days and his family took him off when time he was brain dead from losing oxygen for so many hours. She was a licensed nurse. She knew what to do and how to help him. She said so many times. She's proud she did it and that terrified me. Not enough to destroy my spiritual livelihood and lie and cover up such serious violations. Her mom called me twice during the week he was on life support and once after. 2 days after I refused the last time to give the story of him being on drugs already, her Mom busted into my room and screamed at me demanding for me wake up and come to the living room immediately. She told me I was to get out immediately because I broke in when I was locked out and used my bedroom window to get in and left the house unsecured 2 times that she found when she came by to "check on things". I knew that's not how things in the real world go so I just avoided her and paid my rent as usual. Turns out earlier that day she went and filled for an eviction and had worked out with her daughter how to hide it. She was to remove all notifications and not mention anything so I would keep paying and wouldn't take my belongings and she could make money or keep them if she wanted like she got to do with her ex's things. She has most everything he owned on marketplace 24 hours after he passed. Online the court even notes that "service made to: adult female roommate" and labeled it "successful service" even though she was operating with a huge conflict of interest and nobody questioned it. I lost my job as she was hired by me to transport me back and forth. I couldn't afford hotels very long. I lived in abandoned houses. I'm back in hotels on vouchers now. I'm working and saving for a car to get a better job and get around. I got my cats back from her 6 months after but with wings and scabs on the one she didn't like. Obviously she abused her and I had to pay her to give them back in that condition. My other cat is pregnant but an indoor cat so I guess she let her out anyways. I was sent a message that my things that were left would be placed at the road at a specific time and told to come get what I wanted it it was going to the trash. When I showed up I was meet with police and her video recording me and my helpers in our faces taunting me about being on welfare and wanted to know where my free lawyer was because I would need one when she sues me for storage fees when I was refused the ability to retrieve my belongings 4 times prior. I set up mediation and she started and then ended it 10 minutes in. Nothing has been done about the murder. I still have all the proof and evidence. As well as witnesses. I feel like they are getting away with murder AND so much more. I was left without so much as a cell phone or transportation. I slept in streets. I have trauma from this crap and I'm overwhelmed with what to even to after her for. There's nothing legal about any of this whole situation. At one point when I was allowed to get a few things but not much, her mother drive right beside me while I carried my things tormenting me and laughing at me for being homeless and poor because "i was learning who I was f*ing with and getting the consequences for it". She literally said "bet you wish you would change your story now, didn't Cha?" NOBODY HAS EVEN TAKEN A STATEMENT FROM ME!! there's no story told as of now. Am off this was done preemptively. And no lawyers claim to take care like mine. Where the heck do I turn then? Am I just left to accept this because they have money and were able to take all mine? I'm in Ohio btw. This was September of 23

Yet the FDA hasn't released any official statement or recall because Purina is putting on a hard poker face, denying the allegations of affected pets, which includes almost 1000 FDA reported fatalities. That's just what has been reported. Families like ours, who recently lost a perfectly healthy pet, are just now realizing this may have been the cause.
This needs to get BIG. Tell everyone you know. Bloggers, get blogging. You make videos? Make one on this. Get this info out. Because the FDA and Purina sure aren't.
Some more links for those interested:
What they've admitted to already: https://www.fda.gov/safety/recalls-market-withdrawals-safety-alerts/nestle-purina-petcare-company-voluntarily-recalls-purina-pro-plan-veterinary-diets-el-elemental-dry (Notice they say there will be no announcement until "scientific research has been done."? Well. Who's doing this research and when? How many more pets need to die before they can fit this in their schedule?)
An info site made by pet parents, for pet parents: https://truthaboutpetfood.com/971-pet-food-complaints-reported-to-fda-january-2024/
A Facebook group where this all started to come to light through pet parents sharing their stories: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DuncanStrong/
I actually joined that group way back when our youngest cat was starting to fade. My perfectly healthy kitten who wasn't even 2 years old yet. But I thought he was so terribly sick, there's no way it could be from the food. Had to be something crazy no one could diagnose. He was throwing up non stop to the point he gave up eating. Then his liver shut down, and he passed. Now I'm really questioning everything. My other cat happened to be eating a non-purina brand food because she's a senior and she's fine. Please, switch foods before this happens to you and yours. 💜 🐈🐕👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

Sorry if I mess up I am new to Reddit. I work a job on a university campus. Most of the staff team is being moved to other buildings on campus due to openings or issues with our boss. The whole semester our staff team has had issues following orders from our boss and issues connecting with one another. The other day I had my mandatory end of semester individual meeting with my boss. She asked me at the end of the meeting if I had any questions or concerns about the future. I said I was nervous for the new staff because I had issues getting along with this staff team. My boss had asked me to explain. I said they were leaving but I had issues getting along some team members. I told my boss they tended to make comments that was rude. My boss asked me to explain. I explained that a team member, let’s call her team member c, had called me dumb often. For example if do something like miss a knock on a door and laugh and say something jokingly like “I’m so stupid”. team member a would often say something along the lines of “I didn’t say it” or “you said it not me”. She would do this at least once a month. She then once said to me and my friend that we were like tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum. She then looked me in the face and said “and your friend isn’t tweedle-dum.” I didn’t tell my boss this but she constantly talks shit about another coworker, coworker d. Team member c, Often belittles coworker d saying how she often is wrong and not to listen to coworker d. Once team member c told coworker d to her face that “no offense but she wants to ask someone with more experience.” When coworker d got coworker of the year, team member c then complained about how she didn’t deserve it and asked me if I voted for coworker d. When I said yes, she proceeded to give me side eyes and then complain to another coworker about how I shouldn’t have voted for coworker d. Well team member c got moved buildings. when she did, she was complaining to me about it and telling me how she feels bad for another coworker because she’s with all rookies. I have worked a semester, but team member c refuses to call us vets because we haven’t worked a fall semester. team member c then proceeded to say how she feels bad because “me, coworker a, and coworker b are all technically bad at our jobs”. team member c then went down to coworker a and told coworker a that “me, coworker a, and coworker b are all bad job position and how we weren’t good at first.” I told this to my boss without mentioning a name. Well my boss asked me to say who team member c was and that I wouldn’t get in trouble and that they wouldn’t tell her anything. I told her team member c’s name. After the meeting my boss asked me to schedule another meeting with her on another day. I met with my boss and my boss told me that she is going to talk to team member c about how to appropriately talk to other coworkers. I told my boss I wasn’t comfortable with that and didn’t want that. My boss told me that she shouldn’t have said those things to begin with. I talked to coworker a and told coworker a what happened and coworker a told me coworker d had also talked to our boss about team member c’s behavior and that coworker a had also told our boss that team member c has a habit of degrading us (team member c tends to treat me and coworker a like children often talking down to us). I left the campus the next day. I checked my phone when I got home and saw that another coworker, let’s call her coworker f, had put me and coworker a into a separate group chat and asked if me and coworker a had told the boss she was rude to us. Coworkers name had only once been mentioned in my meeting and all I had said was that we just didn’t get along, so when I saw that message I got worried that my boss misunderstood and thought coworker f was also treating me like team member c. I texted my boss asking if she talked to coworker f because of what I said about team member c. My boss said no I was not a factor in why coworker f had been talked too. My boss then asked me if coworker f was singling people out or coming about it rudely. I said no she had simply asked if someone complained about her and she was not rude at all. I then messaged my boss saying I was just worried if she had talked to coworker f because of what I said about team member c. My boss then messaged me saying no, and to reiterate her talk had nothing to do with my talk with her. Anyway after that started to feel really bad that I told my boss about team member c. I feel guilty that I got team member c in trouble. The more I think about it the more I think I probably should have kept it to myself and not said anything. I’m starting to question if team member c wasn’t that bad and I am just being sensitive. Am I the asshole for telling my boss about team member c?

After sixty-seven sessions of Curse of Strahd (read all about it here), it was time for a change. So into the wild we went...
My group is nearing the end of Hither, and along the way I've written summaries of each session ("What Just Happened?"), along with interesting/funny quotes from PCs/NPCs ("Certain Things Were Said"), and a list of new characters introduced that session ("Dramatis Personae").
My intention is to write the summaries for each of the five parts of the campaign in a different format. For the Witchlight Carnival, each summary was presented in verse (my own, no machine learning shortcuts!), using the the metre and rhyming structure of various Lewis Carrol poems.
I'd like to share my summaries/poems with you all here, for posterity, and in the hope you'll find them entertaining.
For reference, the players are:

• Holafina (a harengon paladin who has lost three inches of height)
• Skerrek (a kobold druid who has lost the ability to lie)
• Arix (an owlin monk who has lost all sense of direction and is always hungry)
• Jexim (a brash fairy who has lost his diary)
• Sylenos (a beatnik, slacker satyr employed by the Carnival)

NOTE: Lewis Carroll was known to hide secret messages in his poems. I've done the same, revealing the campaign's big twist in one of the poems below. None of my players have picked up on it.

Part I: Welcome to the Witchlight

What Just Happened? (in the style of Jabberwocky)
’Twas twilight when the carnival Did open wide two golden gates, And those with tickets did arrive, Seeking things they had misplaced.
One harengon of curious size, A kobold with a slithy gait, An owlet who possessed two eyes As wide as Annam’s dinner plates.
Yet are we three or are we four? Let’s add vibrations rarefied: A Witchlight hand here to ensure That every guest is Satyrs-fied!
Enter now and taste the sounds, Feel these colours, smell those sights! Kaleidoscopic fun abounds This synaesthesiac’s delight!
Yet where’s the drama? Where’s the tension? Certainly we’ve had a switch (At least in here there is no mention Of that cad von Zarovich).
Instead let’s race a giant snail, Eat candied mushrooms by the pound, Or listen to a gnome assail The tightness of your mother’s gown.
Yet hark! A misadventure glum! Those not heroes please give berth! The best laid plans of love undone By Tasha’s wild unruly mirth
These mirrored halls! This desperate task, To find a luckless paramour A sweet-toothed lass with porcine mask That you could swear you’ve seen before…
’Twas twilight when the carnival Did open wide two golden gates And those with tickets did arrive, Now guided by the wiles of fate.
Dramatis Personae
Arix Specklefoot, a sweet-toothed owlin Holafina, a curiously short harengon Skerrek Tirael, a slithy kobold Sylenos, a cosmic satyr Nicholas Midnight, elderly goblin ticketmaster at the Witchlight Carnival Candlefoot, a mime and not by choice Rubin Sugarwood, a lovesick halfling Ween Sundapple, his laugh-sick paramour Glorange Turple, a poetry gnome
Certain Things Were Said
“I am worried about your ability to sense vibrations that I cannot.” - Skerrek Tirael
“Tymore, goddess of good fortune! Look well upon Shellymoo this day!” - Holafina
“Hate to say it, man, but that gnome really insulted your mother.” - Sylenos
“Snacks?” - Arix Specklefoot

Part II: Lost and Found

What Just Happened? (In the style of The Walrus and the Carpenter )
"The time has come," the Satyr said, "To talk of many things: Of poems—and props—and Jeremy Plum— Of crowns and pixie kings— And why things here keep getting lost— And what this pig-girl means."
"But wait a bit," the Owlin cried, "Before our minds do meet, For some of us are pretty spooked, And I would like a treat!" "No hurry!" said the Satyr, And kicked up cloven feet.
The Owlin and the Kobold Were walking close at hand, They smiled like anything to see The gates of Pixie Land. "If we could only stay a while,” They said, "it would be grand!"
The Satyr sighed so sulkily, Because he thought that Plum Had got no business to be there When all was said and done. (“It's rude of him," the Kobold said, "To try and spoil our fun!")
"Oi, Satyr," said the pixie king, "You've had a pleasant run! Should you be getting back to work?” But answer came there none And this was scarcely odd, because He had real beef with Plum.
Now Arix made a hamster friend Who offered up some clues. The others tried the riding-pug: A pleasant thing to do! (“The pug is fine," the Rabbit said, "But he’s no Shellymoo.”)
"How nice of you to come!” said Plum, "You all are oh-so kind!" Puddlemud said nothing as His teeth began to grind. The Owlin and the Kobold cheered: “That was our FAVORITE ride!”
“A wooden crown," fair Jexim said, Is what we need to come Our way along with golden paint For some un-princely sum.” The others stared, confused, and said: “Now where did YOU come from?”
‘Twas then the party dared approach The famous Mystery Mine Where psychedelic spectacles Broke the Satyr’s mind. (“I really wish,” Zephixo sighed, “You wouldn’t ride while high”).
Next Dirla pulled all kind of things Out of his wagon/portal: Bottles, bunnies, candlesticks, A shining blade of vorpal (Incidentally, there’s a word That kind of rhymes with purple).
“If you put your mind to it And searched for long enough, Do you suppose," the party said, "That you could find our stuff?" "I doubt it," said dear Dirlagraun, And gave a bitter huff.
Then he gave the Harengon The greatest gift by far: A copy of “Gnome On The Run” And bid them au revoir (Morgie would have laughed at that While struggling with slash “R”).
“I do believe,” the Satyr said, “That something is not right, And think we ought to pay a call To Messers Witch and Light.” “I think we ought,” the Owlin said “To first stop for a bite.”
But in their way old Thaco stood, A clown grown grim and surly: “Rabbit! Owlin! Pixie! Skink! You aren’t allowed to be-“ The Fairy interrupted him: “Wait, WHAT did you call me?”
Poor Thaco cried: “Things move too fast! And have since my debut In R-1: To the Aid of Falx From Nineteen Eighty Two! And if you’d seen what I have seen Then you’d smoke bubbles, too!”
Finally he stepped aside, At last the way was clear. The Satyr ambled stealthily With open eyes and ears And pressed them to a wagon large To see what he could hear.
"The time has come," Witch and Light said, "To talk of things galore Of prizes—plans—and kenku pests— and ever so much more— But first we’d better ask inside Those spying at our door!”
Dramatis Personae
Jexim, a puzzled, puzzling fairy Jeremy Plum, operator of the Pixie Kingdom and bestower of silly names Biscuit, a talkative hamster Pinecone, a riding-pug Zephixo, dwarven inventor and mastermind behind the Mystery Mine Ernest Wilde, middle-aged calliope master currently inhabiting the body of his pet monkey Marigold, his button-collecting goblin assistant Dirlagraun, a kindly but inefficient displacer beast, minder of lost children and property Thaco, a bubble-smoking clown who is long past his prime
Certain Things Were Said
"Worried I was, with talk of missing supper." - Arix Specklefoot
"Could you not just purchase a new pair?" - Skerrek Tirael "Not like this, man." - Sylenos
"If you'd see the things I've seen, you'd smoke a bubble pipe, too." - Thaco
"Is this it?" - Dirlagraun "NO." - Everyone

Part III: On the Trail of the Kenku

What Just Happened? (In the style of The Hunting of the Snark)
"Where the heck is our stuff? We just want to know This Harengon ain't getting bigger, Arix has no idea of where to go And lies send poor Skerrek a-quiver!"
"Would you get back to work?" Mister Light cried, Twirling his cane with a smile, "Otherwise find where this kenku pest hides; She's cramping this carnival's style!"
"Well, that was a bust," said our heroes, conferring, "Anyone got a suggestion? If we need to pull strings to get back our things Then there are some folk we should question."
"Time's an illusion, free will a delusion!" Sylenos' mentor decreed, "Get a contusion battling occlusions, Or relax and have some of this…wait, what was I saying?"
Sylenos proclaimed: "A genius flawed!" "A man/dragon ahead of his time." Skerrek looked at his claws; Holafina at paws, And the other two just rolled their eyes
"A centuar I'm not! I just made a bad trade The "Cloppinton's" just serendipitous, Now lend me your aid and you'll maybe persuade These horsies to drop some significance."
Then they took to the skies on a dragonfly ride (Holafina and Skerrek abreast), When you're this high there's just nowhere to hide (And to which Sylenos attests)
Now Skerrek honed on a runaway gnome Who was fleeing the carnage with glee, Holafina struck home and that's it for this poem For the gnome was the kenku, you see.
Dramatis Personae
Mister Witch, a matter-of-fact elf, devoid of pretense Mister Light, a flamboyant elf, luminous and coy Burly, a philosophical, pumpkin-helmeted bugbear Mandragon, a seeker of truth (and not much else) Diana Cloppington, a centaur who is apparently not, operator of the Carousel Northwind, a very forthcoming treant, operator of the Dragonfly Rides
Certain Things Were Said
"There’s something weird going on. For some reason everyone thinks I don’t do anything around the carnival." - Sylenos
"It's true, Miss Cloppinton! We've ALL lost things." - Arix Specklefoot
"Wait, when did we have biscuits?" - Jexim

Part IV: Through the Looking Glass

What Just Happened? (In the style of A Boat Beneath a Sunny Sky)
Now hear the Kenku’s strange reply (As Arix struggles to apply Triage to these pixie guys)
Asking questions, getting nought Set her on a different course: High sabotage without remorse!
And what has got her so irate Is what’s she trying to intimate: Zybilna has been quiet of late!
Ignore the rest, and let’s take flight To confront dear Witch and Light (Surprisingly, they’re quite contrite)
To keep the carnival in motion A tapestry of lies was woven: A deal with the Hourglass Coven!
Who take from those who can’t afford Entrance through the Witchlight’s doors Miscellanea adored
So THAT’s who taken all your junk! Time to find these Hourglass punks! Which way to this Feywild dump?
But first we’ll make a brief aside So Candlefoot can vocalise His mermaid love (now legalised)
Now the pair can tie the knot And while we’re passing time why not Ride the fabled Bubble Pot?
Yet ere you all are translocated (Everybody’s breath now bated) Arix must be coronated!
The time of truth has come at last Hesitation as you pass Though the hallowed looking glass
Are you afraid to lose your minds? What lies ahead? What lies behind? What do you expect to find?
Will Skerrek ever fabricate? Or Holafina emulate A bunny’s median height and weight?
Shall Jexim’s memoirs find acclaim? Can Monty locate Bobbitt Fane? (…hang on, that’s a different game)
Does Arix ever find the door? And will Sylennos flee the cause To study unemployment law?
Dramatis Personae
Kettlesteam, a mischievous patron of Zybilna Paleesha, a mellifluous mermaid, now reunited with Candlefoot
Certain Things Were Said
“Sylenos, perhaps in eight years you can come back and find your lost employment.” - Skerrek
“Ask me where the exit is.” - Arix Specklefoot “Where is the exit?” - Mister Light “I don’t know.” - Arix

I sent the guys and gent my 1 Liner but Incase they never see it you guys can read my story here 🫶🏼
2020 met my ex online we talked for a year 2021 physically met my ex after I turned 18 we became official and then I moved in with them after 6 months 2 months later we moved into a new apartment but from the beginning we were having problems and he would always break up with me or try to make me break up with him. We were good for a while but I guess i did things to upset him and we ended up breaking up but still living together and ofc we were still fooling around Our lease was suppose to be up in 2022 but in September we got back together and things was good ofc we were on and off. it was September 2023 we were arguing and he had gotten angry at me for not getting a package for him and he called me some names lol 🥲. But I had this feeling like something wasn’t right and something in the back of my mind told me to check his Apple Watch. I did and found a girl who sent him a TikTok video that said something about when your girlfriend something something. I knew right then and there so I saved her number. I called it but then chickened out. I worked night shift and so all that night that’s all I could think about and the next day when I got home I made breakfast as normal and then I searched her number on cash app and got her name and looked her up on Facebook. I reached out to her and yeah I guess they were hanging out. Turned out she was his previous ex. And when he went out of town for work he went and saw her. And supposedly they never had sex since it’s against her religion So we officially break up and I moved all my stuff out to my dad’s house. I don’t remember officially but I think I went back to our apartment to pick up my mail and I looked nice cause I was going to my cousins party. We ended up making out and planned to meet up which we did. And since then we met up many times. She found out and was angry but like what did I owe her ? Nothing cause she lied to me she told me she was done with him. She tried to tell me I didn’t love him like I lived with him for about 3 years almost and cleaned up after him and all that jazz. It’s been a while since I saw him but honestly I’m just mad at myself that I was so weak lmao now I don’t even want another relationship I’m just done. In some sick way I still wanted to be with him. But I’m pretty sure it was the idea of him that I had. It’s didn’t work out and that’s that. I needed to still use him to get over him. And basically I became the other woman. 💁🏻‍♀️

My bf followed this girl on instagram like 5 months ago, an account of a girl he used to go to school with. I noticed his following count went up one day so I checked and never had seen her before I asked about it, he said it was an accident, unfollowed her and we moved on. I know it was a problem on my part for even asking or noticing, but im insecure and we were going through a rough patch at the time.
Flash forward to today it randomly popped in my head again. The girl my bf followed is a single mom and today i saw a video of some girl saying pregnant woman are the biggest homewreckers, literally not true and a dumb video but it made the girl pop into my head. I brought it up to my boyfriend again and asked if they’ve talked at all while we’ve been together, he said no. I asked if they ever had anything he said no. I get it’s not my business but at the same time if it was someone he had feelings for then was following now it’d be worrisome.
But I then went onto Facebook and searched my boyfriend’s Facebook, and saw he was friends with her on there too. Which makes sense, he’s had the account for years but I asked him “you have her on Facebook too?”. He started getting so irritated with me asking me what im trying to find and why im trying to be all investigative and I might as well just ask her directly instead of doing all this work if I don’t trust his word. I tried ending the fight but he just kept calling me disrespectful, said we just had a nice three days together and immediately I go and find something to be mad about.
I get why he’s upset but at the same time was I in the wrong for what I did? The situation didn’t get properly addressed to begin with, you don’t really follow someone on accident but I rolled with it and let it go. Today my anxiety got the best of me and I couldn’t just drop it. Was searching if they are friends on Facebook too far? That’s the part he’s calling majorly disrespectful, but I feel it’s not wrong to go and see if your boyfriend is friends with a girl on Facebook if he randomly followed her on instagram. But it is five months later to be fair. I just didn’t let myself dwell on it when I first noticed because I didn’t want it to be anything. I don’t know. I’m just hurting bad and apologized but it wasn’t good enough. I feel he just views me as a crazy disrespectful woman :(

So just found this sub Reddit and have been reading all the spooky stories, just thought I’d share mine.
So my grandma used to live in a 4 stories high flat, she was on the top floor. She lived there for 50+ years (the whole building is 100+ years old).
When my mum was a little girl she experienced a lot of creepy shit. She told me this particular story as I grew a bit older that really stuck with me all these years, One night while she was sleeping in bed with her little sister (they shared a room), she looked over to the door and seen a man standing in the shadows, full of fear she froze and didn’t know what to do she just stared at this “man” and decided to wake her sister up while having her eyes fixed on this man. Her sister woke up and began to cry after seeing this and her parents came in the room and the “man” was gone.
Another thing my mum told me was beside the garden door on the bottom floor there was a little indoor storage area where all residents of the flat could store their bikes, scooters etc. My mum told me to not go in it, she legit told me it’s haunted stay away from it, I never went close to it, infact I remember everytime I had to go up to my grans by myself I would feel a eerie feeling coming from that little compartment and I would sprint up the stairs, I would also feel as if something was following me from behind as I was going upstairs.
Anyway that’s just some backstory of this house, now when I was 14 years old. Myself, my brothers and my cousins we all used to go over to my grans quite regularly and back then we never had phones or anything so we used to play games like hide and seek, what’s the time Mr. Wolf etc, one day it was just me and one of my cousins (he was around 11) all the adults used to sit in the living room and they used to tell us to go play, because we used to scream they used to tell us to close the door, which we always did.
So my cousin and I decided to play hide and seek, I tell him that lll seek he hides, he agrees and goes to hide. I face the wall and begin to count down, when I finish I go to look for him, I start by the kitchen, he’s Not there, I go to the bathroom Not there, then I go to my grandparents bedroom, inside the bedroom they had this closet, it was more like a small room plenty of space in there for like 4 people, this is where they stored a bunch of blankets and old traditional furniture. As I entered the bedroom to my surprise he jumps out from this closet with both his hands on his throat crisscrossing eachother, looking pale and blue, what he says next I will never forget he says “why did you strangle me”.
My first instinct was to call him a dumbass and say “I didn’t” then he says “you were behind me strangling me I saw your face” this sent shivers down my spine. Now in my head I’m thinking if I am currently infront of you, how could I have just “teleported“ Infront of you if I was right behind you a second ago?. For this to make any sense I would have strangled him then I would have to somehow run directly infront of him, out the closet door without him seeing me and get to the position I was currently in which is impossible. So being the older cousin I could clearly sense the fear and distraught he was in, so to lighten the mood I started to laugh and giggle and said “yeah it was me hahahahaha, I was behind you” I hugged him, but honestly I was fucking shitting my pants.
We stopped playing hide and seek after that.
His mum was mad at me for “strangling” him, I just took all the blame, I told my mum what happened when we left my grans, she believed me and hugged me and we kept it to ourselves.
Many years down the line i was like 21 and this cousin was like 18ish, i bought this story up with him and he remembered clear as day exactly what happened, we talked and now that he was way older he understood what had happened and that it was completely impossible for me to be infront of him and also behind him strangling him a moment ago. He thanked me for giving him that comfort at that young age, and telling him it was me strangling him, he said for many years he believed it was me (because I told him it was) he also said that if I didn’t say it was me, he would’ve been paranoid for the rest of his life.
He said as he grew older he starting to think about that day and started to realise there was no possible way it could’ve been me strangling him if I had just come into the bedroom, he stared to put it together by himself.
Thankfully, that house has now been sold. But even as I grow older, there are moments when I feel the urge to drive by it again. Yet, as I approach, a sense of unease creeps over me, and I find myself accelerating, desperate to escape its haunting grip just a little quicker.

I'm in my final year of college in Kenya, and I'm really determined to see it through. However, I'm short on funds for this semester. I need Ksh 77,980 ($599.85) to ensure I can continue my studies without interruption. I should also mention that I've received assistance from government grants, which aids in covering part of my tuition fees due to my low-income status, for which I'm genuinely grateful. If you're able to contribute, I would be immensely thankful. Every small contribution matters. Your support means more to me than words can express, and it would truly make a difference in my life.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and for considering helping me out!
Here's the link to the crowdfunding https://www.mchanga.africa/fundraise97285

TW: Alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, suicidal ideation, sex abuse
This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):

• Me, Guy, 32M at the time, 45 now.
• My BFF Stephanie, 33F at the time.
• Stephen, 40M at the time, Stephanie's boyfriend.
• Maryse, 27F at the time.

Background and intro
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.