Take over a good diss. And Ether was great and affected jayb and Jayz Super ugly was a decent reply but was a bit lacking. but he came back hard in the Blueprint 2 song. At the very best you could say it was a draw
​
C'mon!
H, O, V, A, I got my mojo back, baby, oh behave Naw, naw, don't be afraid, y'all and your articles hock spit at Jay Y'all from afar threw darts my way What you thought, I would not have nothin' to say? Nope! Y'all fell into the booby trap I set the trap just to see dude react And now, and now you's can't leave You opened the door, God, I'm at you annually And I'm sorry Miss Rosie Perez I call a spade a spade, it just is what it is But you can't give cred to anything dude says Same dude to give you ice and you owe him some head Shorty, it's time to wake up the dead You sound a little naive in them articles that I read
H, O, V, A, The Blueprint 2, baby, on the way H, O, V, A, I got my mojo back, baby, oh behave H, O, V, A, The Blueprint 2, baby, on the way H, O, V, A, I got my mojo back, baby, oh behave
Can't y'all see that he's fake, the rap version of T.D. Jakes Prophesizin' on your CD's and tapes Won't break you a crumb of the little bit that he makes And this is with whom you want to place your faith I put dollars on mine, ask Columbine When the Twin Towers dropped, I was the first in line Donatin' proceeds off every ticket sold When I was out on the road, that's how you judge Hov, no? Ain't I supposed to be absorbed in myself? Every time there's a tragedy, I'm the first one to help They call me this misogynist, but they don't call me the dude To take his dollars to give gifts at the projects These dudes is all politics, depositin' checks They put in they pocket, all you get in return is a lot of lip And y'all buy the shit, caught up in the hype 'Cause the nigga wear a kufi, it don't mean that he bright 'Cause you don't understand him, it don't mean that he nice It just means you don't understand all the bullshit that he write Is it Oochie Wally Wally or is it One Mic? Is it Black Girl Lost or shorty owe you for ice? I've been real all my life, they confuse it with conceit Since I will not lose, they try to help him cheat But I will not lose, for even in defeat There's a valuable lesson learned, so it evens up for me When the grass is cut, the snakes will show I gotta thank the little homie Nas for that though Savin' me the hassle of speakin' to half of these assholes And I'ma let karma catch up to Jaz-O, whoa I'm back before you had a chance to miss me My mama can't save you this time, niggas is history Who you know flow vicious as me? Yet so religiously, that's why they call me Hov' I get the spoils 'cause the victor is me (Me, nigga!) You're an actor, you're not who you're depicted to be You street dreamin', all y'all niggas livin' through me I gave you life when niggas was forgettin' you emcee I'm a legend, you should take a picture with me You should be happy to be in my presence I should charge you a fee I'm Big Dog, Glenn Rob, listen, God, you a flea And the little homie Jungle is a garden to me What's the problem, B? You not as hard as me, nigga Hard as we, nigga, R-O-C, nigga That's why they follow me, they feel my pain and my agony, nigga I won't rest 'til you on one knee You want war, then this war's gon' be, nigga Until you on one knee You want war, then this war's gon' be, nigga

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Intro

It’s not much of a stretch to say that violence is the primary form of interaction in video games. With a handful of exceptions, most video games involve guys whacking other guys, with varying degrees of brutality. Even chill games fall into this - Stardew Valley has sections with combat in them! Considering the pervasiveness of violence in video games, there has been a ton of amateur and academic commentary on the topic. However, while this is a well-established school of thought, I haven’t seen people try to apply this to Fire Emblem specifically.
So, let’s do that now! In this post, I’ll be exploring how violence in Fire Emblem is implemented - what limitations are placed on violence, how it warps wider game and narrative design, and what it implicitly says and does not say. I hope this post doesn’t come off as too early-2010s “makes you think”-y, but I do think there are multiple interesting things worth talking about here!
Despite the length of this post, "a brief discussion" is an appropriate title, as we won't be able to go into depth on everything. After all, video games are holistic works, so the attitude towards violence is relevant to every aspect of their design. However, I have managed to wrangle some of these threads into the following structure: first a discussion on the fundamental mode of interaction in Fire Emblem, then how stories are constructed with regards to violence, and ending with the aesthetics of violence and how they relate to characters. Also, as FE is a huge series, be aware that I am gonna be making some broad statements which may not apply to each individual plot point of every game. I actually planned to write 3 case studies around Thracia 776, Fates, and Three Houses (which have the most interesting attitudes to violence in the series IMO) which point out these deviations, but this post is way too long and full of tangents already. If people are interested, I’ll make a followup to this post which goes into them in more detail. Also also, because of the nature of this post, I’ll actually give a useful TL;DR for once:
TL;DR: Nintendo games must be fun mechanically, and they can’t be too uncomfortable narratively. If you try to provide a counterpoint by saying “oh this Kirby final boss is super dark it eats 100 morbillion galaxies”, you do not deserve rights. IntSys has to keep to this as a 2nd party publisher, but they also have to deal with the fact that their games are at least nominally about ‘war’ (or at least they put their toes into that particular thematic pool). This conflict between making a fun video game for children/teens and the wider framing of the narrative leads to interesting narrative and aesthetic tensions. also fun is cringe, misery is based

“Do you like hurting other people?” (or The Fundamental Mode of Interaction)

OK LISTEN I KNOW I LITERALLY JUST SAID THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO COME ACROSS AS A EARLY 2010s “VIOLENCE IN VIDYA BAD :O????” PERSON BUT I SWEAR I’M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS
The best place to start when talking about violence in video games is to think about the primary form of interaction in said game. In the case of Fire Emblem, this is in the in-chapter gameplay. Sure, in objective terms the player moves arbitrary objects across a 2D grid which perform subtraction on arbitrary objects controlled by the computer, but this is always framed as controlling a squad of soldiers to engage in (typically lethal) combat with enemies (who are normally also soldiers). When you’re not doing this in-chapter gameplay, you are preparing for the next chapter of combat. This involves surveying the area of combat, preparing weapon loadouts, etc, however more recent entries also include light life-sim-esque elements. To summarize, Fire Emblem’s interactivity involves ordering violence as well as the preparations to order said violence.
For players, this strategic thinking is extremely fun and is the primary draw of the series! You have all these tier lists of who’s better at killing, discussion of the maps where you do the killing, complaints about the length of gameplay sections where you don’t do killing, etc. This is by design, as while I don’t know the core brand tenets of Nintendo, I imagine the Reggie quote “If it isn’t fun, why bother?” is carved into a solid gold statue of Mario in the office lobby. This then is enforced on all associated studios, including IntSys and so Fire Emblem. While I would disagree with that Reggie quote (especially the bit where he says “If it’s not a battle, where’s the fun?” which is a wild statement to make about an entire medium), this approach to making games is ultimately fine, and so IntSys tailored the strategic gameplay to be satisfying to your dopamine receptors. You could analyse what the normalisation of violence even in ‘just for fun’ games says about wider gaming culture, but I won’t get into that here. In any case, let’s dig into a few specifics of FE’s interactivity.
One thing that’s interesting with regard to strategy games is the detached perspective of the player. You order units and observe the resulting violence, but it’s not tactile, you don’t directly swing the sword or shoot the bow or cast the spell like with action games. This adds a layer of separation between the player and what fundamentally happens, at least within the framing that the game provides. It’s not like Call of Duty, where your relationship to the violence is very visceral, where you view everything down the barrel of a gun. OK, I probably shouldn’t use a series that I have very little personal experience with (I only listen to the supplementary lore material, so let’s talk about Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice. While you’re not directly in the driver’s seat, John Sekiro reacts to your every input with extreme responsiveness, so overcoming the game’s challenges i.e. stabbing people is incredibly visceral and satisfying. While this violence is fantastical in nature, there is sufficient blood and explicit sword-action to clearly say “oh yeah you are violently killing all of those bozos with a katana”. Coming back to FE, not only are you far more detached from the violence, it is presented in an extremely cartoony manner… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, we’ll get to the aesthetics later. Point is, Fire Emblem gives the viewpoint of a stoic commander, who Does What Needs To Be Done™, and not the viewpoint of an actual soldier who has to do the actual killing.
Now let’s view the player’s perspective on violence from a different angle. Fire Emblem intends for its combat to be relatively relaxed on the player side of things - the turn-based nature allows the player to calmly think through all of their moves, and you typically have perfect information on the enemies. The only exceptions to this are Fog of WaSame Turn Reinforcements, which are rare and typically unpopular amongst the fanbase. This leans into ‘combat as sport’, where (going back to the Reggie quote) you have a fun time picking apart a puzzle with the tools you have, and we all collectively enjoy this! This is a valid way of designing strategy games, and I like what IntSys has done. However, it’s not the only way of making these games - for example, in Total War you have to juggle all your battalions in real time whilst the enemy is bearing down on you, and the XCOM games always have Fog of War and limited information on the enemies, with you never knowing what kind of awful new monster is going to suddenly charge at you. Don’t get me wrong, neither of these follow ‘combat as war’, the principle that violence should properly mimic the stress, tension and unfairness of actual conflict. Hell, neither of them are particularly mature either - Total War is the strategy game equivalent of smashing action figures together, and XCOM emulates a pulp sci-fi alien invasion story. However, the additional pressures these games have make them hew slightly closer to actual conflict, putting you more in that mindset in a way that the clean fun Fire Emblem doesn’t really do. Again, I want to say FE’s approach to violence in in-map gameplay is fine, but when all three of these franchises have an explicit narrative framing of ‘warfare’, it does make Fire Emblem’s narrative a little more… stretched.
Finally, I want to briefly mention the maps. To steal from a brilliant Jacob Geller video, these are Worlds Designed For Violence. At least outside of the Kaga games, the maps you fight on are primarily designed around how the player interacts with them, i.e. fights on them. While I imagine the narrative designers and artists at IntSys are involved throughout the map design process, the gameplay flow probably takes precedence most of the time. Maps are not designed to resemble realistic places that you have to fight through, they are instead designed primarily to provide fun gameplay experiences before being dressed up by the artists to look realistic/fit the specific story beat. This is a more consistently entertaining approach to map design - heaven knows we have a lot of Kaga castle assault maps which are as fun as actually assaulting an entrenched position IRL - but this lack of friction could potentially take the bite out of the intended vibe, neuter any commentary on violence throughout the story.
You may have noticed that we’ve only talked about the “in-map” gameplay for now, when there’s an entire second half of these games, i.e. all the gameplay between the maps. Don’t worry, we’ll get to all of that, but this may fit better in:

Something something “ludonarrative” something something (or Narrative Implications)

(To clarify, here I’m going to talk about the wider plots and narrative structure as opposed to characterisation, as that fits more into the aesthetics of the series)
It’s not bold to say that the narratives of games have to warp around the core gameplay structure. Especially in AAA video game production, the narrative designers usually have to take a back seat to the systems and level designers, at least outside of the initial rough outline they provide in the original game pitch. In this case, the job of the writer is to form vaguely coherent connective tissue between individual levels, setpieces and expensive pre-rendered cutscenes. This must be a very difficult job, and is probably the reason why most video game stories are the way they are. I am not privy to IntSys internal meetings, but I imagine they abide by this paradigm, trying to give a reason for why you fight 20 battles which roughly align with plot beats that were decided years ago.
Put another way, the writers of Fire Emblem must contrive a reason why the characters fight a vast number of violent battles in a strategic manner. This has a pretty easy solution - war! We have found something it’s good for, as whenever the gameplay designers decide that an extra map is required, the writers can just insert “oh no there’s a blockade of enemy soldiers in the way, guess you gotta kill them all”. This is the case for almost all the games and is a fair enough narrative choice, as it’s frankly one of the few scenarios where you could reasonably contrive so many battles, but it’s worth examining this in a bit more detail.
Even in the framing of warfare, there are still a lot of skirmishes, which sometimes the narrative or tone fails to support - or at least, their presence means that violence isn’t taken that seriously. Let’s take an example from early in Awakening: Emmeryn sends the Shepherds to negotiate an alliance with Regna Ferox. On the way, they are ambushed by Risen on the Northroad (1), have to fight the border guards who think Chrom is a bandit I think??? (2), and then after arriving they need to take part in Regna Ferox’s ritual combat to secure their alliance (3). These beats aren’t necessarily bad, and I actually think Awakening uses these opportunities quite well: the Risen are established as a constant threat to the world (except not really in the main story but that’s a whole other thing), “Marth'' gets more development, we set up Regna Ferox as fighty people who like to fight, and while the middle encounter is very tenuous it does set up a funny joke in Cynthia’s paralogue. However, I want to communicate that if the map/encounter designers need X maps between plot points A and B - in this case, needing low-stakes trials in the tutorial period - then there’s gonna be a fair bit of narrative filler. That is to say, there must be multiple combat encounters that kinda just happen, which makes violence a lot more casual in the narrative. See also the myriad examples of “oh shit random bandits attack!”, used to have a lower stakes map, with bandits appearing and vanishing as needed. This works fine enough in the context of ‘combat as sport’, allowing your favourite scrunglo to build up a triple-digit body count, but this casual attitude circumvents potentially interesting ideas with regards violence. Taking the example further, banditry and its causes are never seriously explored, as bandits are just treated as a filler enemy (except in Based As Hell Thracia 776).
Another narrative consequence of needing so many fights is that… you need to fight. That is to say, any anti-war sentiment or appeal to diplomacy in the series is fundamentally undercut by a) strategic combat being a core appeal of the series and b) narrative beats needing to be structured around fighting enemies. It’s a struggle to have moments of diplomacy and reconciliation when you had a fight within 3 minutes of said moment, lest some people start screaming that things are getting boring. This also makes any appeals to pacifism kinda moot. Xander’s quote about “war bad” in Conquest is utter bullshit, as a huge part of the marketing around that route focuses on the coolness of the tactical combat and its challenge. Eirika and Ephraim can never be equal, because Ephraim’s “fighting is fucken awesome” is encouraged by the gameplay, and Eirika can NEVER save 11037 because we need a final boss and no-one else fits the bill.
Speaking of, in video games it’s best practice to have a big bad guy you fight at the end of the story, the toughest mechanical challenge coinciding with the narrative climax. In Fire Emblem, you have one grand final battle which decides the fate of the war and/or world, before cutting to a brief wrap-up and then credits. This is an attempt to make these games satisfying, which is fine, but this is at odds with an anti-war message (which FE often gestures towards) - that is, actual wars tend to be deeply unsatisfying in a narrative sense! Oftentimes, after a decisive battle, things just kinda keep going for a little while afterwards with casualties continuing to pile up until peace terms are agreed. In the few cases where there is a final battle, it’s more of a formality as the decisive moment occurred months ago. See World War 1 and… World War 2 for examples of each, not to mention a whole host of war-related books and films. The problem with doing this in a video game is that it would require having multiple one-sided fights past the most climatic fight, which would be unfun, and we return to that fucking Reggie quote again. While video games can effectively explore this anti-war narrative space - This War of Mine is a fantastic example - it just doesn’t gel with the fun games that IntSys wants to make. I bring this up in the context of FE because Fire Emblem has such an aesthetic focus on warfare compared to other video games, so it sticks out even further. Even in FE6/FE9 where the war is effectively over in the final few maps, the enemies still remain extremely challenging, because if they didn’t things would be boring.
A few minor things that didn’t fit in above before we wrap up this section. First of all, in making an action packed story, Fire Emblem neglects an important aspect of army life in warfare - the “hurrying up and waiting”. In the majority of cases, the breaks between fights is under 10 minutes, it’s just glossed over. Fire Emblem Three Houses is the exception to this, but there it’s more framed as school life. Some people may say “what’s the point in having large amounts of timewasting where nothing happens in my game about war” and to that I would say fuck you, I want to play Jarhead Emblem. Next, Fire Emblem involves fighting people AND monsters, but these targets are typically given equal narrative weight, outside of maybe a funny line of dialogue about someone being afraid of monsters. In 99% of cases, enemy soldiers you fight have no more humanity than literal monsters. The death of any of your beloved soldiers is a tragedy with big sad death quotes, the death of those poor fuckers is quite literally a statistic which is proudly used to rank how well your guys have done at the end of the game. Finally, the limited scope of the violence the series can show limits the potential impact of scenes. In some cases, this is good as the implication is enough, e.g. the ‘Monica’ scene in Sacred Stones is wonderfully grim and would be weakened by anything explicit. However, a number of other scenes are neutered by the limitations on violence. This fundamentally relates to the aesthetics of the series:

insert prozd tweet/skit here (or Aesthetics, Tone, and Characters)

I’ve been talking a lot about ‘the violence committed’, and this might have seemed a bit weird to you. It’s a true statement, but because the violence is mostly cartoony and abstracted - bad guys disappear into nothingness, there’s no blood, etc - it’s hard to think of it in that way. It’s basically impossible to place Fire Emblem in the same artistic sphere as, say, All Quiet on the Western Front. This aesthetic sense was partially tech-limited in the early NES and SNES games, which was grandfathered into the more graphically complex titles, but it’s also related to how the aesthetics unavoidably warp the tone of the work. IntSys needs their games to be relatively lighthearted and unconcerned with the consequences of its violence, as one of the core appeals of these games is the charming cast of characters. As you would expect, it would be a lot harder to appreciate your goofy blorbos and their lighthearted chats about nothing if you could see the brutal consequences of their triple digit body counts. If violence was more realistic, there would be a lot less “ooh I like training and/or this one hyperspecific food” or “I like peace, but I guess violence may be possibly needed sometimes” and there would have to be a lot more trauma and dourness. There are also age rating concerns, as you can’t exactly sell Come And See Emblem to pre-teens. And once more, to clarify: Fire Emblem as it exists now is fine! I like the lighthearted tone of this series, and I like the characters that reside within it. However, a few problems do arise from IntSys’s approach to violence, as occasionally they brush up against darker ideas but (due to similar reasons to the above) they can never commit to them, which neuters their potential impact. This is especially troublesome with regards to characterisation, as the little dudes are a core appeal, so if something is off that could cause problems. In a sense, at points we have severe aesthetic tension.
A fairly useful case study to see how this affects characterisation is with Mozu in Fire Emblem Fates. Mozu is a charming character, a genial country bumpkin with a bit of an edge at times, who has fond memories of her hometown. This lines up with the lighthearted tone of her recruitment paralogue, where (checks notes) her entire village gets massacred by inhuman monsters, with her mother literally being murdered right in front of her, and she joins up with Corrin’s party because there is literally nothing left of her old life. I understand that people who experience extreme trauma do still manage to live meaningful lives, and that IntSys wouldn’t want to have a character who is a barely functional traumatised mess for 90% of the campaign. However, this doesn’t explain the sheer dissonance between the relatively normal and well-adjusted Mozu who quietly remembers her lost loved ones, and the fact that her village got My Lai’d a handful of weeks ago in the game’s timeline. IMO this would work a lot better if there were a few survivors (instead of literally everyone else dying), with Mozu actively choosing to leave her old life to help others instead of being forced to leave by circumstance. This reduction in scope would mitigate the dissonance between the character and what actually happens to her. This is by far the most extreme example in the series, however I’m sure you can think of others. My issue here is not with having ‘normal’ characters, or with them suffering tragedies, my issue is the dissonance between the two when viewing the scope of said tragedies. This is just one way the series wants to get into darker territory, then swiftly backing off instead of delving into the consequences.
This aesthetic restriction also affects the potential impact of dramatic scenes in the main story, limiting what the focus of these scenes can actually be. This little bit will involve heavy spoilers for Genealogy of the Holy War and Spec Ops: The Line (I KNOW THESE GAMES ARE VERY DIFFERENT WITH VERY DIFFERENT INTENDED DEMOGRAPHICS IN VERY DIFFERENT CULTURAL CONTEXTS, SHUT UP). Both have a very important narrative moment around their midpoints, involving fire magic/white phosphorus respectively. In each game, the deaths that occur are utterly horrific when you think about them. In FE4 the focus is on the drama of the plot twist and effects on the characters, with the actual effects of the violence being left to implication. We don’t know if this was the original intent of Kaga and the team, or if this was enforced by various tech- and publisher-related restrictions, but in either case we do not see anything explicit. In any case, in Spec Ops: The Line, the horror and graphic nature of the violence is completely inescapable, and therefore forms the core of the turning point of the story. The specifics of the violence itself are crucial - the game does not work if you don’t see the consequences of the white phosphorus - and it leads beautifully to the complete descent of its endgame. You may be saying “of course you couldn’t show that violence in FE, it’s a kids game” which is true, and in any case the scene in Genealogy is very good, even without showing the violence. I imagine if we get a remake in the year 202X we wouldn’t see anything explicit anyway, partially due to the publisher but also because the scene doesn’t necessarily need it. The point I am trying to make is that the aesthetics form a limitation on what Fire Emblem can explore, narrative space that the series fundamentally cannot reach.
One more thing, and this isn’t really about the games themselves but the impressions leading into them, and how the aesthetics can affect that. Do you guys remember when the intro cutscene of Three Houses was released a few weeks before release? I do, and I also remember the collective shock of the community when seeing the early previews. It was so drastically different to everything that had come before, and consequently was really intriguing - you can see a lot of speculation in the above comments. To clarify, I don’t want to pretend that 3H is some kind of super mature ultra gritty war story, or that blood = good game, but that beginning cutscene gave one hell of a first impression. Even though the game isn’t that much darker than any other FE game, the sheer unexpectedness put people off-kilter in a kinda awesome way. Does the game actually deliver? YMMV, but I think this (and some of the later cutscenes, such as the mid-game Dimitri one) work quite well. Sometimes, a little injection of harsher violence can go a long way.

Conclusion

Frankly I don’t really have a conclusion, sorry. As you can see, there are so many disparate strands, I can’t possibly make one grand thesis statement. Maybe the inherent contradictions of having warfare in a family friendly video game weakens the potential end result? I guess, but I don’t want to imply that what we have now is bad, as it is pretty good tbh. So, uhh…
…
OK, if I had to say something, it’s more about the process of making this. Having to try and think about how violence intersects with a video game you like takes you in a number of different directions. Ultimately, this process was really fulfilling for me, and I would recommend that you do the same (for FE or anything else)! Trying to analyse something you enjoy from a perspective not usually applied is pretty neat. If you guys have any thoughts (on the points above or your own), I’d be very interested to hear them!
Also, if people are interested, I’ll try to make a few case studies. I would focus on Thracia 776, Fates, and Three Houses, as (when thinking on this topic) I found that these games were consistently the most intriguing, with the most interesting relationships to violence. This would probably take a while though, as I am gonna be very busy in June, and I probably won’t have time this month either.

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• > Hanoi Ha Giang Cao Bang Ban Gioc 6 days

Kayara was sick with hunger by the time they made it home to the palace and Craephen. She clutched her stomach and tried her best not to throw up on the steps as they were ushered upstairs to the king's offices. Geri kept glancing warily at her, staying as far away from her as possible.
A massive flat leaf plant just outside of the office doors, it was watered by the fish tank underfoot but there was a few meters of open tank and the glass ended just at the knee. Then a massive flat leaf plant took over and formed a sort of wall. Kayara puked up berries and sickeningly sweet apple and rat meat. The fish in the tank went crazy for her last three meals. She had refused to shit on the trek back. Refused. She still very much needed the bathroom.
She also refused to look anyone in the eye as some of her vomit went floating under the glass, right before them. As the fish splashed vomit and water, onto the beautifully painted tiles. She was forced to just pull out her handkerchief, wipe her face, her hands, and silently apologize to the janitor who would have to clean that up on her behalf. She rejoined the others and not one of them said a word. The two soldiers flanked the two ladies. Trashed and worn to bits. She was so grateful that this appeared to be the norm for this princess.
The carved, fern shaped, wooden doors opened with only the anxiety-inducing elegance that a king's office doors could. A looming terror in its own right— just as the king was. He sat behind his massive dark wood desk. Leafy eyes taking in every hazardous detail of the young adults being ushered into his work space.
Food had been prepared and set up on the table in the next room and the king gestured to it. To go sit down and eat; a good man and fair king he was.
Anataya was the first to take a seat, the others followed. Bread, potatoes and pulled chicken. A simple meal, whoever had been so smart to give them such food- she silently thanked them. She did not have it in her to throw up again. Nobody said a word, although Geri and Anataya seemed to be speaking telepathically. She wondered if that could hypothetically be a real talent amongst faeries. With the right cross breeding and such?
Geri stuck his tongue out at the princess and revealed a black diamond to be embedded in it. Fucking hells! Anataya grinned and motioned with her finger across her throat. Then she looked away from him to scan the table, and saw Kayara watching them with open questioning in her eyes. The flirting stopped for a dinner break at that.
Kayara noted that the two soldiers had eaten only their bread. Picked it apart and played with it really. For fucks sake.
The maids had come and cleared their dishes, leaving an empty table and dirty Elves; and a king staring at all of them from the head of the table.
“Lord Castings, thank you for returning my escape artist daughter and her holligan half siblings. As well as the lady Kayara.” The king finally said at last. “You are dismissed, a room is already available for you as you know, but I assume you wish to return to your man's estate.”
“Indeed Majesty, you are ever generous.” The lord bowed and exited immediately. The King then looked to kayara. “You likely have no desire to stay here, I grant the kindness of leaving with honor to you and your family. Take it if you wish.”
“You are indeed very kind Majesty, however, a little dirt and exercise will not deter me in aiding the heir to the throne I am loyal to.” It was her younger siblings who had taught her the act of sucking up.
She had laid it on too thick though and he now looked at her the way she was certain he looked at every other ladder climbing court member he had to deal with. She would prove her worth though, she willed it to be so. She willed herself to smile delicately the way her mother did, speak fluidly and clearly the way her father did. Keep a keen eye and watch for the hidden details like her Nanny had, once upon a childhood. She hated relying on old tactics but she hadn’t exactly had time to find her own social tools at court. She had been too busy riding fairy ponies in the woods… oh her siblings would have a field day if they knew she had slept on dirt. Her brothers especially. They would be more horrified by it than her sisters, who gardened, would be.
“Anyways, I thank you for keeping this adventure to yourself and not encouraging this moving forward, you too are dismissed.” He must have been in his late thirties or early forties, which was quite young indeed amongst Faeries. A young king who appeared to have lived for a millenia. He had dark bags under his eyes and bushy brown eyebrows. His voice sounded as tired as he looked. She studied him as she curtsied her acknowledgment and turned to leave. The door opened for her and she stopped just outside, turned to take in the details but the doors shut gently, pointedly, in her face.

The Purpose of Life for Man

One of the most direct verses on the subject of "the meaning (or purpose) of (human) life" in the Bible can be found in Revelation:

"Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created."-Revelation 4:11

This, of course, should prompt us to ask what exactly does God take pleasure in?
Conversely, what doesn't He take pleasure in?

"Wherewith shall I come before the Lord, and bow myself before the high God? shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves of a year old? Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, or with ten thousands of rivers of oil? shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?"-Micah 6:6-8

God does not take pleasure in mere outward religiosity and ritual, but rather finds honest acts of love towards Him and others as more important when pertaining to our fulfillment of what God expects from us as His creation. God takes great pleasure in us doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with Him. This is what He requires of us. In other words...

"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil."-Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

The Book of Ecclesiastes is an existential treatise on the futility of finding any meaning or fulfillment in life apart from God. In it, "the Preacher" (or "Teacher" in some translations) explores the limits of human experiences which may provide meaning or fulfillment in this life before the author of the book inevitably concludes that the only thing we can do that has any kind of meaning or permanence in the end is fearing God and keeping His commandments. The reason for this is because the march of time and our own mortality effectively make most human endeavors hevel. The Hebrew word "hevel" is translated as vanity in the King James.
The following is taken from BibleProject:

In Hebrew, hevel literally refers to “vapor” or “smoke.” The teacher uses this word 38 times throughout the book of Ecclesiastes as a metaphor to describe how life is temporary and fleeting, like a wisp of smoke, but also how life is an enigma or paradox. Smoke appears solid, but when you try to grab it, it’s like nothing is there.

[...]

The author’s basic goal is to target all of the ways we try to build meaning and purpose in life apart from God and then let the teacher deconstruct them. The author thinks that people spend most of their time investing energy and emotion in things that ultimately have no lasting meaning or significance. And so he allows the teacher to give us a reality check.

The Preacher gives us a "reality check" by demonstrating how time and death effectively make things like scientific and artistic discovery (1:10-11), mirth (2:1), alcohol (2:3), architecture (2:4), amassing property (2:7-8), and luxury (2:8) all hevel. Materialism and hedonism fail to fulfill, and though wisdom and righteousness are acknowledged by the preacher to be advantageous, the righteous and wise are still often victims of injustice and unfairness in the world while the wicked get to prosper and have longevity at times (1:13-18). Generally, your life will probably be better by living in the wisdom given in Proverbs (Ecc. 7:11-12; 9:13-18), but it's no guarantee that you will have a good life as bad things still happen to good people, and good things still happen to bad people. This isn't entirely "hevel" but it's confusing and disorienting because things don't always work out the way we think they should in this life.
Again, from BibleProject:

So what’s the way forward in the midst of all this hevel? Paradoxically, the teacher discovers that the key to truly enjoying life is accepting hevel, acknowledging that everything in your life is totally out of your control. About six different times, at the bleakest moments in his dialogue, the teacher suddenly talks about “the gift of God,” which is the enjoyment of the simple, good things in life such as friendship, family, a good meal, or a sunny day.
You and I can’t control the most important things in our lives. Nothing is guaranteed, and, strangely, that’s the beauty of it. When I adopt a posture of complete trust in God, it frees me to simply enjoy life as I actually experience it and not as I think it ought to be. In the end, even my expectations about life, my hopes and dreams, are all “hevel, hevel. Everything under the sun is hevel.”
The teacher’s words come to an end, and the author takes over, bringing the book to a close. He says that it is very important to hear what the teacher has to say. He likens the teacher’s words to a shepherd’s staff with a goad, a pointy end that will hurt when it pokes you. But that pain can ultimately steer you in the right direction towards greater wisdom.
The author warns us not to take the teacher’s words too far. You can spend your entire life buried in books trying to answer the existential puzzles of human life. Don’t exhaust yourself, he says. You’ll never get there. Instead, the author offers his own conclusion that we should “fear God and keep his commands; this is the whole duty of humans. For God will bring every deed into judgment, every hidden thing, whether good or evil” (Ec. 12:13-14).

Fearing the Lord doesn’t guarantee success in this life, but it is the right thing to do, and ultimately God will clear the "hevel" and bring His justice on all we have done. Therefore, we ought to keep God's commandments.
Through Jesus, we see the Bible clearing the confusion many have, and still have, about God's commandments and what exactly they are (in essence, at least):

"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."-Matthew 22:37-40

The apostle Paul puts it like this:

"For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."-Galatians 5:14

The apostle John, like this:

"And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him."-1 John 4:16

In other words, the first and second greatest commandments can be seen as inextricably intertwined, as one cannot truly love God without loving their fellow man, and vice versa.
So, to put it bluntly, the meaning, or purpose, of (human) life according to the Bible is simply love.

"What Does It Mean to Love Biblically?"

But, what exactly is love anyway? We know that, according to the apostle John, God is love. But, what does that mean exactly?
The ancient Greeks had anywhere between four and eight different words for love (depending on the source):

• Storge: affection
  
• Philia or Phileo: friendship
  
• Eros: sexual, erotic
  
• Agape: unconditional, divine, selfless
  
• Ludus: flirtatious, playful, casual, uncommitted
  
• Pragma: committed, long-standing
  
• Philautia: self-love
  
• Mania: obsessive, possessive, addictive, dependent
  

The word translated as "charity" in the KJV's rendering of 1st Corinthians 13 is agape. A more accurate translation of the word would be "love," more specifically, the love of God. In this passage, Paul talks about the importance of having this kind of love for others compared to all the things we might typically obsess over concerning the things of God. Even things like charity to the poor itself, if not motivated by agape, does not impress God! Our motivations and heart matter to God just as much, if not more, than our actions themselves.
This is what the Bible defines as true love, or at least, is the kind of love it's most concerned about.
In order to demonstrate to another that we love them, we sacrifice something. For God, He sent His only begotten Son to die for our sins (John 3:16). For Jesus, he sacrificed himself to save us from our sins:

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."-John 15:13

In essence, true love is self-sacrifice. Putting others before ourselves is the greatest kind of sacrifice.
God didn't have to send His Son, but He did. Jesus didn't have to accept the mission, but he did.
God loves you, and Jesus loves you.
We demonstrate to others that we love them by sacrificing our wants and desires for them. These sacrifices can range from really small, to really big. Loving others is a daily practice of making greater and greater sacrifices.

“You can will to love people. Love is not a feeling. Love is a willing, and the Lord says to love people. He did not mean [to merely] feel love for them” — A.W. Tozer

A stumbling block for many in their walk with God is the inability to love one's enemies and to love unlovable people as Jesus did. It’s difficult for us to show love to people we don’t feel love for; to people we despise or dislike. We also tend to struggle with extending grace and mercy to those who’ve hurt us. I myself often wonder whether I am even capable of loving everyone the way Jesus does.
As I grow in my faith, I realize it’s not that I’m incapable of loving like Jesus; I’m just not always willing to. My unwillingness to love indicates that I am unwittingly adopting the worldly view of love, which is based on feelings and merit. I am choosing not to love people I feel are underserving of my love. The more I study Scripture, though, the more I realize Biblical love is not a feeling or an emotion; it’s a decision. It is an action, and it’s sacrificial. It’s not something you feel; it is, again, something you practice.

“Biblical love is a choice to do good for another person regardless of what we feel. It is a decision to compassionately and righteously pursue the betterment of another person. This is why you can even love your enemies according to Christ’s command.” — Tony Evans

Jesus commands us to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30). He also said, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another” (John 13:34). Since the Lord commands us to love, that means it is within our power to do so; therefore, love is a decision we make. Although feelings will accompany love, it’s not an emotion; it’s the decision to love regardless of how we feel.
As believers, we’re taught to love our enemies, and do good to those who hate us, and if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, "turn to him the other also" (Matt. 5:39). It’s not easy to do; hating our enemies comes naturally to us because of our evil nature. It is impossible to love our enemies on our own strength; we need the help of the Spirit of God.
The decision to love your enemies arises from the decision to obey the will of God and the desire to be Christlike. We choose to love our enemies because God said so and loved us first. Jesus said we are to love as he loved us.

“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”-Romans 5:8

So Biblical love is sacrificial love. It is not a feeling but an act of will; the desire to put the welfare of others above your own. This type of love is not a love based on affection or emotion. Instead, it’s agape love, a love that is not concerned with self but is concerned more with the good of others.
We are not going to like everyone, nor are we called to; we are called to love everyone regardless of how we feel about them. It’s possible to love someone without feeling love for them when we decide to love everyone the way God loves us. The more we love through our actions, the decision to love will become a choice the heart is more willing to make.
Again, this doesn’t mean you will like or feel love for everyone, but when you put your trust in the Lord and pursue wisdom and holiness through prayer and Scripture, you will naturally develop a love for others.
To put it succinctly: Biblical love seeks the best interests of others, even our enemies, often to the detriment of ourselves. "Best interests" here doesn't necessarily mean what the other person thinks are their own best interests. It just means we do for them what we know or believe is best for them, and what we know or believe is best for them should be informed by an active participation with the Spirit of God and by His Word (the Bible) itself. Feelings may or may not accompany this, but how we feel towards the other is not what determines whether or not we're exhibiting the love of God, in the view of Jesus and the apostles. In their view, it's about whether or not we can still decide to seek the best interests of those who might harm us, or who we might not even like.

What the Real Heavenly Treasure Is

Now, this all brings us to an important question that needs to be answered: Is it wrong to love God and others while making a reward the objective for doing so?
We must ask this question, because all throughout Scripture we are told that the faithful followers of God will be "rewarded" some day for everything they've done to merit this. Giving an exhaustive list of passages that proves this point would be endless, but here are some examples of just a few:

"Then said he also to him that bade him, When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbours; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee. But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind: And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just."-Luke 14:12-14
"I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive."-Acts 20:35
"But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil."-Luke 6:35

The answer to this question depends on what we define as "rewards." Most will typically adopt some vague idea of material possesions that await the believer when they get to heaven as one's reward for faithfulness towards God, or that the reward is simply an escape from punishment for one's own sins, or perhaps even some combination of these things both.
However, none of these are the "rewards" the Lord is promising to those who obey the first and second commandments. If they were, our motivation to love God and others would ultimately be selfish. Think about it. Our motivation for rewards would inherently be me-centered, and not other-centered.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ gives the following command:

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."-Matthew 6:19-21

We know there are heavenly treasures, because Jesus says so, but what are they? The issue of heavenly treasures or eternal rewards is riddled with question marks. It’s a subject that has been abused by some (“Store up treasure by giving to my ministry”) and left in the too-hard basket by others.
But the answer here is simple, and two-fold. One of our rewards are God Himself:

"After these things the word of the Lord came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward."-Genesis 15:1
"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."-Hevrews 11:6

What is the reward of the seeker but to find that which is sought? If you are searching for God, you will find Him and He will be your very great reward.
Now, if you are the newest believer or the eleventh-hour worker, you will be as richly blessed as the oldest, most faithful saint. Eternity will not be divided into the haves and have-nots, for we are all one in the New Jerusalem.
But we can distinguish God our reward from the heavenly treasure that Jesus said can be stored up. You cannot "store up" more of God, after all.
So what are heavenly treasures? The answer may surprise you, but it’s people.

"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward."-Psalm 127:3

What is the only thing you can take with you? People, a.k.a. eternal friends, a.k.a. spiritual offspring. This Psalm is not just talking about biological children. God has bigger plans for you and they involve spiritual children. Lots of them. Dozens. Hundreds. Thousands. Millions. Don’t limit God.
So much time and effort is spent debating heavenly treasures as though they were some great mystery. What are they? Jesus makes it plain: it's people.

• Just as Abraham was called to be the father of many nations, so are you.
  
• Jesus said those who followed him would be fishers of men. What is a fisherman’s reward? It’s fish, or people in this case.
  
• What is the reward of the one who sows and waters the good seed? It’s a harvest of people.
  
• What is treasure that never wears out and cannot be stolen? It’s people.
  

God's heart cries, “I treasure children. The more, the better!” In Matthew chapter 5, Jesus introduces God as our heavenly Father. In Matthew chapter 6, Jesus says God is a Father who rewards us. And what is a father’s reward?
It is children.
“Sounds great, but I am no evangelist.” You don’t need to be an evangelist to win eternal friends. Believers can live such godly lives that unbelievers will be won to the kingdom (1 Pet. 2:12; Matt. 5:16).
God's desire is to grow the world’s largest family and He treats people like treasure. This is obvious once you see it. Indeed, it’s a theme that runs throughout Scripture:

"For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God: the Lord thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth."-Deuteronomy 7:6
"For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God, and the Lord hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth."-Deuteronomy 14:2
"And the Lord hath avouched thee this day to be his peculiar people, as he hath promised thee, and that thou shouldest keep all his commandments;"-Deuteronomy 26:18
"To whom coming, as unto a living stone, disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God, and precious, Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ. Wherefore also it is contained in the scripture, Behold, I lay in Sion a chief corner stone, elect, precious: and he that believeth on him shall not be confounded. Unto you therefore which believe he is precious: but unto them which be disobedient, the stone which the builders disallowed, the same is made the head of the corner, And a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offence, even to them which stumble at the word, being disobedient: whereunto also they were appointed. But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;"-1 Peter 2:4-9

Like Jesus, Paul eagerly gave to the poor (Gal. 2:10). He did not give out of religious duty or to put a shine on his reputation. He did it because he loved people and wanted to share the love of God with as many as possible (1 Cor. 13:3).
Life is a gift that is easily wasted. We can waste it running after inferior rewards that rust, or we can do what Jesus and Paul did and invest ourselves in the only reward that lasts: people.

God Is Faithful

Someone once asked me, "Why would God be concerned as to whether or not we 'have trust and confidence in him' when He's judging us and when He determines what our fate will be?"
Having trust and confidence in God, according to the Biblical authors, is required for us to fulfill His commandment that we love Him, and thus also love others. (See Hebrews 11.)
As with a spouse, you cannot truly love them if you do not have some level of trust or confidence in them, and vice versa. All relationships require trust, from both parties. God wants us to trust Him that He will keep His promises towards those of us who love and follow Him. He also wants to trust us that we will enter the kingdom of heaven with a righteous and loving character. He doesn't want another rebellion in paradise, so He's trying to see if we truly love righteousness for righteousness' sake. A truly righteous person wouldn't want to rebel against Him when the time comes that they enter the kingdom of God themselves, because a person with a righteous character wouldn't ever do such a thing.
As Open Theists, we believe we're being consistent in our belief that God, at times, puts trials before us to test whether or not we will remain trustworthy enough in our character to be deemed worthy of entrance into His kingdom. The Classical Theist doesn't have the luxury of being consistent if they have this same belief.
In the Book of Job, Satan makes an accusation towards someone God has deemed as truly righteous: Job.
Satan assails God’s wisdom and character in running the world by alleging that people only serve Him because of what they get out of it. God protects them from disaster and blesses them in other ways. Their obedience, he is suggesting, isn’t really a free choice. "There is no genuine virtue in the world," Satan is claiming. "There are only self-serving bargains, and obedience for the sake of being protected and blessed is one of them. Hence, true holiness and virtuous obedience are an illusion." "Take away a person’s protection," Satan insists, "and let me have my way with people, and they will stop living for God" (Job 1:9-11; 2:4-5).
God has so much faith in Job that he will not succumb to proving the false accusations being levied towards him and God's way of running things in general that He ends up accepting the challenge. For God, this is as much a test of His faith towards His servant as it is for Job for his Lord. The adversary, we see, was assailing God’s integrity and wisdom in overseeing the creation. Satan was, in effect, accusing God of being a Machiavellian ruler. In the context of this narrative, it was an assault that could only be refuted by being put to the test.
Had God simply forced Satan into silence, without proving him wrong, it would have simply confirmed the accuracy of Satan’s charge. It would have shown that there is no integrity or wisdom in how God runs the world after all. "There is only the exercise of power, used to manipulate beings into obeying Him. People serve God only as a bargain, not out of genuine love."
No, the challenge had to be answered by having it put to the test. The most righteous man on the earth was thus chosen to be tested. If Job failed, the narrative suggests, then Satan will have made his point. If he succeeded, however, then God’s wisdom and integrity in running the cosmos will have been vindicated. Hence, the protective fence around Job is removed and Satan is allowed to afflict him.
In the end, Job proves faithful to God and is even referenced in the New Testament as an example of the kind of faithfulness He expected of first century believers facing persecution and trials:

"Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy."-James 5:11

While most of us aren't dealing with the life-threatening kind of persecution that believers faced in the first century, for the very fact that the eschatological end of physical Israel and the Old Covenant system was fastly approaching for them (and already has approached), we still each face our own trials that God puts in our lives as individuals to see if we truly love Him. Job is simply the ultimate example of one who loved God because they chose to, not because God forced them to.
After all, you never know if your love is pure if it isn't tested...

So the day before Mother's Day, my husband (M34) tells me (F35) we are going to do a day trip with our toddler (age 4) to local city and I am so excited but I realize I am also so behind in house chores due to my stressful job and lack of consistent help from my husband.
So I tell him thank you but no trip and that we need to stay home and clean. He says he needs to leave that morning which I already know means he is going to go get flowers. So I offer to make breakfast because I woke up in a great mood.
He comes home with flowers in okay condition, some are wilted and gives me a sweater that he says I asked him to buy me for Mother's Day which I do love the sweater.
So I make pancakes for the family, pancakes with bananas, peanut butter drizzle and whipped cream and I don't have any due to dieting.
My husband asks me what the plans are today and I said I would love for us to get some things done around the house, he has had the ladder out for a couple days so I asked him to take down the Christmas decorations and pick up and also put ladder away and watch our toddler because I would be upstairs with the power tools dismantling our shelves to add in some different shelving and organizing the closet.
All the while I am talking he is working on a 3d print for his friends birthday in a few days.
I go upstairs and 30 minutes in, my toddler is climbing on me and I wait for my husband to collect him and... nothing
So I figure maybe he sent him because ladder plus toddler is not the best combo so I put the power tool away and just organize clothes and he never comes back up to get him, so I call him and he goes "oh yeah just send him down" and I ask if he can just come and get him and he does.
So two hours pass and I go downstairs to check on them and ask about lunch for them and they are watching TV and nothing is done, no dishes from this morning cleaned, no Xmas decorations taken down and I make my toddler a snack and go back upstairs to calm down before calling my husband and asked him why he hasn't cleaned. He said because he thought we stayed home so I could clean and not him. And alI I am doing is working on a room, we don't even use (It's a walk in closet in our bedroom)
I reminded him I said we and asked him to do several things this morning which he said "Oh, I thought that was something you asked me to do a couple weeks ago"
At this point I am just disappointed with the day and over it.
He does do the dishes, takes down the Xmas decorations and cleaned up and now we have to go see my family for dinner which I do not want to because they are very blunt and will want to know why I am such a sad state.
Luckily the toddler falls asleep in the car, so I have the great idea after we find out he is asleep to just give gifts since we are already hour late for dinner and leave and pick up food for the toddler after.
So I drop off the gifts, we leave to go another place to order food and I asked my husband if he can go in and get food and he says no and I ask him he wants anything and he says "No just go just go " I told him I rather not because it's very rude for him to rush me to leave and he says he was only doing that because he had to sneeze....okay....so I said "Just go home please, we can make something there"
So now he is pissy and accuses me of using him as a taxi driver and I just go off...
"This is supposed to be Mother's Day, the one day you treat me special and loved and show me you appreciate me. You got me some wilted flowers and a sweater. Thank you but it's Day, not two gifts Mother stuff"
Now he is pissed and saying I am ungrateful and he shouldn't have gotten me shit and I am the problem and I don't do shit for him. All day he watched our son and cleaned. He also said he didn't know how to make me feel special.
He normally does not curse at me so I said this not you talking. This your dad talking to your mother. (Not my best moment and I will admit it)
Welp that got him all riled up and we didn't talk the rest of the night or next day.
When I finally said I was still upset about yesterday, he goes "Of course, you are." and walks away.
When we finally do talk, he says that he was offended I would rather stay home then do his idea of a day trip to local city and I said the flowers were wilted and he got me a sweater and he cleaned after I told him too. He also said he felt ignored and like I didn't wanna hang out with him because I was organizing the closet. He said he felt unloved.
So am I the asshole?
Quick Q&A
Married for 12 years and together for 15 years
We have had issues with all holidays but even more since our son was born so couple years ago I gave him a list of my likes, links to things to do for your wife for birthday,and things you can do for free to make your spouse happy (he makes six figures but I think gifts can be acts of service as well) but he still says he doesn't know how
We are currently in couples therapy but he seems to try to manipulate the sessions?
Example, he wanted to go on a trip to buy video games stuff and we had already gone out of town the day before to buy video games stuff so I said Our grass at both houses need to be mowed, I think that needs our attention and if he isn't something he can do the he needs to hire help to which he replied That why can't I help him and I don't do anything to help him ever but to the therapist he goes oh I just didn't wanna do the lawn because it had rain the day before and the grass was wet and it was early. I asked him why he wasn't able to tell me that in the moment or revisit for the whole week and half after because I didn't know that and he was still able to mow later that day but only one house. He said he didn't know why he didn't tell me and it was dumb to argue about the lawn but I said the lawn is just a symptom of the greater issue which is lack of communication on both of our parts
Fathers Day and Birthday I used to go all out but I realized I wasn't getting the same energy so I stopped 1st Father Day I asked him what he wanted to do and he said spend the day together I got him and our son matching shirts, classic car pint glasses, socks with our son's face on them, a photo book of them of the photos during the year of them I had taken and I made this favorite foods all day 2nd Father's Day I asked him what he wanted to do and he was spend the day together but he had to work so when he got home from work, I had his favorite pizza, favorite pop, matching shirts with our son, pizza cutter and pizza pan because he had mentioned we didn't have one and photo album of pictures from the last year of him and our son
When I had another disappointing Mothers Day ( I had asked to have 3 hours alone and sent him a link to some earrings and I got no time alone and no earrings but he did get me beautiful flowers and chocolate covered strawberries. We went to the lunch with my family and I asked him to only pay for us and my mom and he ended up dropping like $275 on my whole family for brunch very nice but we had conversations about how he was able to do that but get me no gifts) I think his heart is the right place because he is a good guy
3rd Father's Day I got him a card, beer and a some jerky and he said he didn't feel loved because it wasn't as nice all the other Father's Days he had in the past and he doesn't know how to make sure I have a nice Mother's Day and I asked him he could use the list I gave him or just mimic what I do and customize it to fit his style. He said he would try and that led us to this Mother's Day.

You're a die-hard soccer fan, but you live in a country where the European Championship isn't broadcast.
Or perhaps you're a European citizen on vacation in a region with different broadcasting rights. It's frustrating, right? Geo-restrictions and licensing agreements can feel like a goalie blocking your shot at enjoying the game.
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Good Day Beauties, we're looking for models to create lifestyle content for us. All the work details are mentioned in the video please watch it to know what we want from you.
Video Link
Models Recruited will be given $20 sign on bonus.
Location Requirements: Models only from Southeast Asia are only given priorities for now.
This is the process: 1. Screening 2. Completing of Requirements 3. Profile Registration 4. Approval

1. Screening (DM with these details if interested)
2. Fil up this form:

Name: Age: Birthdate: Location: Do you have kids? I yes, how many and how old? Social Media LINK (All social media LINK): And send 10 BEST PHOTOS (Must be near, not far, must not have a shades, or eyeglasses, not with facemasks, must be solo,with full body and close up)
Note: Social medias must be "Single-looking profile" or "Single". Having kids is fine, but relationship in profile is automatic reject.

1. Completing of Requirements:

• 50 Lifestyle Photos (Old Photos is fine as long as it's still quality, you can use your photos that is already posted on your social media) (Maximum 5 photos with family, Maximum 5 Private Photos)
• 20 Lifestyle Videos (Must be 20 seconds above each, no tiktok watermark, you can use Tiktok videos but make sure remove the watermark at Snaptik.com or Ssstik.io Must not have vape, cigarette or liquor on the video, super daring videos (almost nude) are NOT allowed) (With partner NOT ALLOWED)
• Photo of ID with birthdate, ID Number & photo (Must not be expired within 6 months, you can use any IDs)
• Questionnaire (Will be provided to the scout once there's already passed models, this are just about personal information like height, weight, etc.)

1. Profile Registration

• Once the Models already completed all requirements, she just need to wait 2-5 days before the profile will be registered. There are times that it will be later than that if, example, the model needs to send another ID, because the ID photo is not readable, or the date is already expired, etc.

1. Approval

• This only takes 1 day

Good Day Beauties, we're looking for models to create lifestyle content for us. All the work details are mentioned in the video please watch it to know what we want from you.
Video Link
Models Recruited will be given $20 sign on bonus.
Location Requirements: Models only from Southeast Asia are only given priorities for now.
This is the process: 1. Screening 2. Completing of Requirements 3. Profile Registration 4. Approval

1. Screening (DM with these details if interested)
2. Fil up this form:

Name: Age: Birthdate: Location: Do you have kids? I yes, how many and how old? Social Media LINK (All social media LINK): And send 10 BEST PHOTOS (Must be near, not far, must not have a shades, or eyeglasses, not with facemasks, must be solo,with full body and close up)
Note: Social medias must be "Single-looking profile" or "Single". Having kids is fine, but relationship in profile is automatic reject.

1. Completing of Requirements:

• 50 Lifestyle Photos (Old Photos is fine as long as it's still quality, you can use your photos that is already posted on your social media) (Maximum 5 photos with family, Maximum 5 Private Photos)
• 20 Lifestyle Videos (Must be 20 seconds above each, no tiktok watermark, you can use Tiktok videos but make sure remove the watermark at Snaptik.com or Ssstik.io Must not have vape, cigarette or liquor on the video, super daring videos (almost nude) are NOT allowed) (With partner NOT ALLOWED)
• Photo of ID with birthdate, ID Number & photo (Must not be expired within 6 months, you can use any IDs)
• Questionnaire (Will be provided to the scout once there's already passed models, this are just about personal information like height, weight, etc.)

1. Profile Registration

• Once the Models already completed all requirements, she just need to wait 2-5 days before the profile will be registered. There are times that it will be later than that if, example, the model needs to send another ID, because the ID photo is not readable, or the date is already expired, etc.

1. Approval

• This only takes 1 day

LESSON 135. If I defend myself I am attacked.
Who would defend himself unless he thought he were attacked, that the attack were real, and that his own defense could save himself? And herein lies the folly of defense; it gives illusions full reality, and then attempts to handle them as real. It adds illusions to illusions, thus making correction doubly difficult. And it is this you do when you attempt to plan the future, activate the past, or organize the present as you wish.
You operate from the belief you must protect yourself from what is happening because it must contain what threatens you. A sense of threat is an acknowledgment of an inherent weakness; a belief that there is danger which has power to call on you to make appropriate defense. The world is based on this insane belief. And all its structures, all its thoughts and doubts, its penalties and heavy armaments, its legal definitions and its codes, its ethics and its leaders and its gods, all serve but to preserve its sense of threat. For no one walks the world in armature but must have terror striking at his heart.
Defense is frightening. It stems from fear, increasing fear as each defense is made. You think it offers safety. Yet it speaks of fear made real and terror justified. Is it not strange you do not pause to ask, as you elaborate your plans and make your armor thicker and your locks more tight, what you defend, and how, and against what?
Let us consider first what you defend. It must be something that is very weak and easily assaulted. It must be something made easy prey, unable to protect itself and needing your defense. What but the body has such frailty that constant care and watchful, deep concern are needful to protect its little life? What but the body falters and must fail to serve the Son of God as worthy host?
Yet it is not the body that can fear, nor be a thing of fear. It has no needs but those which you assign to it. It needs no complicated structures of defense, no health-inducing medicine, no care and no concern at all. Defend its life, or give it gifts to make it beautiful or walls to make it safe, and you but say your home is open to the thief of time, corruptible and crumbling, so unsafe it must be guarded with your very life.
Is not this picture fearful? Can you be at peace with such a concept of your home? Yet what endowed the body with the right to serve you thus except your own belief? It is your mind which gave the body all the functions that you see in it, and set its value far beyond a little pile of dust and water. Who would make defense of something that he recognized as this?
The body is in need of no defense. This cannot be too often emphasized. It will be strong and healthy if the mind does not abuse it by assigning it to roles it cannot fill, to purposes beyond its scope, and to exalted aims which it cannot accomplish. Such attempts, ridiculous yet deeply cherished, are the sources for the many mad attacks you make upon it. For it seems to fail your hopes, your needs, your values and your dreams.
The “self” that needs protection is not real. The body, valueless and hardly worth the least defense, need merely be perceived as quite apart from you, and it becomes a healthy, serviceable instrument through which the mind can operate until its usefulness is over. Who would want to keep it when its usefulness is done?
Defend the body and you have attacked your mind. For you have seen in it the faults, the weaknesses, the limits and the lacks from which you think the body must be saved. You will not see the mind as separate from bodily conditions. And you will impose upon the body all the pain that comes from the conception of the mind as limited and fragile, and apart from other minds and separate from its Source.
These are the thoughts in need of healing, and the body will respond with health when they have been corrected and replaced with truth. This is the body’s only real defense. Yet is this where you look for its defense? You offer it protection of a kind from which it gains no benefit at all, but merely adds to your distress of mind. You do not heal, but merely take away the hope of healing, for you fail to see where hope must lie if it be meaningful.
A healed mind does not plan. It carries out the plans that it receives through listening to wisdom that is not its own. It waits until it has been taught what should be done, and then proceeds to do it. It does not depend upon itself for anything except its adequacy to fulfill the plans assigned to it. It is secure in certainty that obstacles can not impede its progress to accomplishment of any goal that serves the greater plan established for the good of everyone.
A healed mind is relieved of the belief that it must plan, although it cannot know the outcome which is best, the means by which it is achieved, nor how to recognize the problem that the plan is made to solve. It must misuse the body in its plans until it recognizes this is so. But when it has accepted this as true, then is it healed, and lets the body go.
Enslavement of the body to the plans the unhealed mind sets up to save itself must make the body sick. It is not free to be the means of helping in a plan which far exceeds its own protection, and which needs its service for a little while. In this capacity is health assured. For everything the mind employs for this will function flawlessly, and with the strength that has been given it and cannot fail.
It is, perhaps, not easy to perceive that self-initiated plans are but defenses, with the purpose all of them were made to realize. They are the means by which a frightened mind would undertake its own protection, at the cost of truth. This is not difficult to realize in some forms which these self-deceptions take, where the denial of reality is very obvious. Yet planning is not often recognized as a defense.
The mind engaged in planning for itself is occupied in setting up control of future happenings. It does not think that it will be provided for, unless it makes its own provisions. Time becomes a future emphasis, to be controlled by learning and experience obtained from past events and previous beliefs. It overlooks the present, for it rests on the idea the past has taught enough to let the mind direct its future course.
The mind that plans is thus refusing to allow for change. What it has learned before becomes the basis for its future goals. Its past experience directs its choice of what will happen. And it does not see that here and now is everything it needs to guarantee a future quite unlike the past, without a continuity of any old ideas and sick beliefs. Anticipation plays no part at all, for present confidence directs the way.
Defenses are the plans you undertake to make against the truth. Their aim is to select what you approve, and disregard what you consider incompatible with your beliefs of your reality. Yet what remains is meaningless indeed. For it is your reality that is the “threat” which your defenses would attack, obscure, and take apart and crucify.
What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good? Perhaps you have misunderstood His plan, for He would never offer pain to you. But your defenses did not let you see His loving blessing shine in every step you ever took. While you made plans for death, He led you gently to eternal life.
Your present trust in Him is the defense that promises a future undisturbed, without a trace of sorrow, and with joy that constantly increases, as this life becomes a holy instant, set in time, but heeding only immortality. Let no defenses but your present trust direct the future, and this life becomes a meaningful encounter with the truth that only your defenses would conceal.
Without defenses, you become a light which Heaven gratefully acknowledges to be its own. And it will lead you on in ways appointed for your happiness according to the ancient plan, begun when time was born. Your followers will join their light with yours, and it will be increased until the world is lighted up with joy. And gladly will our brothers lay aside their cumbersome defenses, which availed them nothing and could only terrify.
We will anticipate that time today with present confidence, for this is part of what was planned for us. We will be sure that everything we need is given us for our accomplishment of this today. We make no plans for how it will be done, but realize that our defenselessness is all that is required for the truth to dawn upon our minds with certainty.
For fifteen minutes twice today we rest from senseless planning, and from every thought that blocks the truth from entering our minds. Today we will receive instead of plan, that we may give instead of organize. And we are given truly, as we say:
If I defend myself I am attacked. But in defenselessness I will be strong, and I will learn what my defenses hide.
Nothing but that. If there are plans to make, you will be told of them. They may not be the plans you thought were needed, nor indeed the answers to the problems which you thought confronted you. But they are answers to another kind of question, which remains unanswered yet in need of answering until the Answer comes to you at last.
All your defenses have been aimed at not receiving what you will receive today. And in the light and joy of simple trust, you will but wonder why you ever thought that you must be defended from release. Heaven asks nothing. It is hell that makes extravagant demands for sacrifice. You give up nothing in these times today when, undefended, you present yourself to your Creator as you really are.
He has remembered you. Today we will remember Him. For this is Eastertime in your salvation. And you rise again from what was seeming death and hopelessness. Now is the light of hope reborn in you, for now you come without defense, to learn the part for you within the plan of God. What little plans or magical beliefs can still have value, when you have received your function from the Voice for God Himself?
Try not to shape this day as you believe would benefit you most. For you can not conceive of all the happiness that comes to you without your planning. Learn today. And all the world will take this giant stride, and celebrate your Eastertime with you. Throughout the day, as foolish little things appear to raise defensiveness in you and tempt you to engage in weaving plans, remind yourself this is a special day for learning, and acknowledge it with this:
This is my Eastertime. And I would keep it holy. I will not defend myself, because the Son of God needs no defense against the truth of his reality.

We’ve been together for 4 and a half years basically. We’ve know each other for 10. Liked each other in high school, life happened, I moved away, she had a kid, found our way back to each other, and ended up having a child of our own 2 years ago. To try and summarize, she feels once our daughter was born, that I got too comfortable and acted as though I knew she wasn’t going anywhere. I worked overnight construction for years, even before we got together, made it to a superintendent position, with a job where I averaged anywhere from 65-80+ hours a week. She was home with the kids, I didn’t make enough to put the kids in daycare, and couldn’t commit to any kind of permanent arrangement to assist her with taking care of the kids so she could work. The goal, since before we got together, was for me to leave my trade, but I made more money doing that, than we would have if we both started entry level jobs, not to mention then having to pay for daycares. I was offered help by my mother who lived out of state to bring me family over there with promises of help so we could make the changes necessary to restructure our life and improve our situation. I got here, worked in my same trade for a few months until the rain season began, and she immediately began her course to become a CNA, then started work as one, and makes decent money. Well she made a friend there, who I honestly can’t stand. I have NEVER told her who she can and can’t see, hang out with, talk to, nothing like that, she’s never given me a reason to doubt her, she has always been a loyal person and very honest. This friend of hers, without spending time on all the details and making this post even longer, tries encouraging my girlfriend to do things or think certain ways that I feel are detrimental to our relationship. Telling her she should start an OF, is one example, and when my girlfriend vented to her about an issue we had, told her that I am a narcissist like every guy she’s been with and to just leave me.
For some context, I forgot our anniversary. I think I’ve forgotten it almost every year, because it wasn’t really a special occasion, we talked about it a few months into our relationship basically saying “hey we’re dating right? Like this is official? What do we tell people if they ask what our anniversary is? Okay cool, sounds good, moving on.” I get it, that mindset was wrong of me. I also procrastinate on things like holidays, birthdays, whatever, and have had some instances where I really should have tried harder to make her feel special and appreciated. I used to do the hallmark movie corny stuff, I used to have a notebook I’d write in when I got home in the mornings while she was asleep about how I loved her, she’s beautiful, I appreciate her, blah blah. One time I set a path from the front door to the upstairs bath with candles, flower petals, where a bath was drawn, with red lights for ambiance and a bath bomb for her. It fell off because the honey moon phase ended, although I feel it lasted a long time, and life events happened that lead to some emotional dry spells on her part where she wasn’t ready to receive affection, her grandmother passing, having a miscarriage far along in our first pregnancy together, her step father dying, and then also the stresses of my job wearing me out, and getting comfortable subconsciously telling myself that even though I don’t always do those same things anymore, she knows I think she’s the greatest and I love her.
I have a bad habit that I’ve been working on for a few months now, where if she’d bring up things that made me nervous to think about or stress me out to plan, I would play too much and not take the situations seriously, and make her not feel heard as a result. I always teased that I don’t believe in legally getting married, that I’d take her to the courthouse and let her change her last name to mine and then we can have a ceremony after. 2 years ago I told her that wasn’t the case, and we finally talked about it where I told her that once our situation is right, in marrying her. I know in hindsight that I should have still placed it as a higher priority, but we never really talked about it further, and she clung to what I’d said before that about us never getting married. When our fighting started getting bad about 2 months ago, and we finally communicated what the underlying root of her unhappiness was, I had a huge perspective change. Some other big events happened, my step father who we lived with overdosed from fentanyl in our basement, and really changed my perspective on life and how quickly things can end and change and blah blah, to where I told her that I don’t want to fight, she is my one, and I want to marry her. She basically took it as me saying it out of fear to get her to stay. I’ve been trying to show her that I want to make the effort she is asking for. That she is as special to me as I say, but now in her mind she is taking an approach of “why did it take 4 years to get to this point.”
I never try to deny responsibility for my actions, I always try to be quick to reflect and acknowledge where I may have been wrong. But now I almost feel like my readiness to say okay I messed up by getting comfortable and not making you feel heard in these situations and everything else I’ve talked about, kind of seems like I’ve only made her feel completely validated in her idea that I have messed up for 4 years and just not appreciated her. I almost want to tell her that yes, I have slowed down and gotten comfortable, but no, there’s are so many examples of times I’ve still shown you how much I cared. I fear doing so will come off argumentative, and give her more fuel to the fire of her friend calling me a narcissist. Side note: she has since stopped getting advice from that friend, because she did come to the conclusion that her friend does not have her best interest, and has seen an uglier side to her as time has gone on, but I feel the seeds of discord have been sown.
I’m so sorry, I hope some of you with good intentions stick through all of this, and I know there’s other context that could help, but I guess I just need some ideas on what to do. 7 weeks ago we started fighting over petty day to day things, 5 weeks ago we finally established her root of unhappiness, 4 weeks ago she said she needed space, 2-3 weeks ago we said we were taking a break, and I feel her feelings of negativity have only grown. I’ve sucked at giving space admittedly, as time goes on I’ve gotten better though I fear damage has been further done by not doing great about accepting her request for space. Idk, we have a child together, I love both of the children like they’re my own blood, I’ve never felt this happy in a relationship (I know I’m young, still) and now that we’re finally hitting our goals with our lifestyle changes and career changes, now she’s finally gotten to this point of giving up.
Do I try giving her space, doing my own thing and seeing if that separation and seeing my positive activities draws her back in? Or has it gone on so long that that’s not going to work? Do I try saying finally “hey I acknowledge my mistakes, but in your attempts to focus on my wrong doings I feel like you’re ignoring all the good things I did and I’d like you to try remembering those? I don’t hit her, cuss at her, our heated fights can probably be counted on 1, maybe 2 hands, I don’t cheat, I provide, I’ve taken care of the kids just about by myself for the past 5 months to give her room to get her new profession down, I cook and clean every night, not to be crass but our intimate life is very good, I know I deliver for her on that account, and I’m someone who is always willing to apologize and adapt and adjust. Any advice that isn’t slanderous to either of us would be awesome, I get at this point that if it’s too late then I need to just start preparing for that eventuality and working on myself, but for the sake of keeping my family together, I want to exhaust all of my options to make this work.

Introduction:
In home design and interior design, there are few things as coveted as the perfect wardrobe. A well-designed closet not only adds functionality to your living space but also brings some luxury and order to your daily routine. In recent years the concept of modular wardrobes has gained increasing popularity due to their flexibility, customization options and efficient use of space In this comprehensive guide we will delve into the world of modular wardrobes, exploring design ideas, organizational advice and measuring benefits Helps create a dream incorporation
Understanding modular wardrobe:
Modular wardrobes are customizable storage solutions that consist of individual units or modules that can be assembled and configured to your specific needs and preferences Unlike traditional closets with fixed shelves and rods, modular wardrobes offer versatility and adaptability, so that you you closet -Allows you to customize every inch of the space
Building your own modular wardrobe:
Consider your storage needs, aesthetic preferences, and available space when designing a modular wardrobe. Start by analyzing your clothing collection and accessories to determine the storage solution you need. Whether you need more hanging space, shelves for shoes and handbags, or drawers for folded items, the modular wardrobe can be configured to suit storage needs.
Next, consider the layout and layout of your wardrobe. Divide the space by storing different items, such as tops, bottoms, clothes, shoes, and accessories. Add features like adjustable shelves, sliding drawers and pull-out racks to maximize accessibility and organization. In addition, consider adding lighting to illuminate items in your wardrobe and maximize visibility.
Options and Finishes:
Choosing the right materials and finishes is important to get the look and feel of your modular wardrobe that you want. Choose high-quality materials that are durable and easy to use, such as manufactured wood, laminate, or metal. Consider the beauty of your existing furniture and decor to ensure that your style matches your overall furniture.
When it comes to finishing touches, look for ways to find the right addition to your wardrobe. From slick lacquers, matte textures to wood veneers and glass accents, the possibilities are endless. Experiment with different finishes for visual appeal and customize your wardrobe to reflect your unique style.
Making space more efficient:
One of the main advantages of modular cabinets is their ability to make space more efficient in any situation, whether you have a small apartment or walk-in closet or to make the most of your closet space, use vertical storage solutions like tall cabinets use and wall-mounted shelves. Consider adding organization and accessories such as wrapping paper, jewelry trays and belt buckles to make small items beautifully organized and easily accessible
Incorporate smart storage solutions such as pull-out baskets, rotating carousels, multi-level hangers to optimize any space in your closet Furthermore, use corner units and modular components with adjustable layouts to make your storage layout to suit your specific needs.
Managing your modular wardrobe:
Establish a regular cleaning and maintenance schedule to keep your modular wardrobe looking its best. Dust and wipe surfaces regularly to prevent the accumulation of dirt and debris. Use appropriate decorating materials and techniques based on the accessories you use to decorate your clothes and how they finish your wardrobe.
Periodically review and reorganize your wardrobe to reduce and purge items you no longer need or need. Give away or sell clothes and accessories that are in good condition but serve no purpose in your wardrobe. By keeping your modular closet organized and maintained, you can enjoy a clutter-free and functional storage solution for years to come.
Conclusion:
Modular wardrobe offers endless possibilities to create stylish, organized and efficient storage solutions to suit your specific needs and interests. By paying attention to the design, choosing the right materials and finishes, optimizing the space, and consistently maintaining your wardrobe, you can reap the benefits of a stored closet so beautifully enhancing your daily routine and elevating the beauty of your home.

i really need anyone to listen to my shitty situation because i've got no one else to talk to.
this guy made me fall for him so hard we've been friends for the better part of 2 years. this guy is the only person to be able to grab my attention he is so gentle funny and sweet, he is really really beautiful but he doesn't realise it he thinks he is an ogre but i genuinely have never seen someone as beautiful as him. his simle and laugh are the only things i find worth anything in life. but he is really insecure there are some people in life who he looks up to and they make him seriously insecure and i can tell.
he doesn't know i love him, i never tried to even give a hint that i was, i was content with our friendship i had the best time in the world with the best, but i think its ending lately he has been just down right neglectful and absent. he is ditching me for a group of friends that he found no more calls texts no more hang outs. nothing. i became close to nothing for this guy almost instantly, i was thinking maybe he is just that way the type to get bored of people quick maybe his insecurities are pushing him to finding bigger groups of friends even if it meant ditching the old ones. maybe i am only so worked up over him because i love him in a way he could never reciprocate.
bottom line is i am jealous and bitter, i want to get better but i can't. also i keep having dreams about him and my mind apparently loves to torture me because l just woke up from a dream where i confessed my love and he reciprocated and we even kissed. as if there is a better way to start a day. i don't want our friendship to fucking end in fact i want it to go back to how it was but this time with him knowing i am in love with him.
ps the story is a lot more complicated than it seems, and its not completely one sided, the friendship started from his end he took charge and called me his best friend.

I was dating the most beautiful, attentive and charming aries girl for a year and a half. We conected quickly and with lots of intensity.
Both of us were coming from longer and good relationships. None of us had completely got over their exes at that time. The thing is that she couldn’t stand my unpunctuality, my (sometimes) lack of organisation and confidence, me taking life too seriously.
I couldn’t stand her bad temper, her intensity when she got pissed off with me. We rocked it in the bed and was a period of real happiness to me (too late to realise) and our lifestyle and hobbies were really similar ( I never had that connection with anyone).
We started having problems after our first trip together.
Now, we are going NC. I do miss her, love her, want the best for her, I don’t want to make her cry 😭 But it is being hard to let her go… She has told explicitly that she doesn’t want to get in the relationship again.
I guess it is over now, right ? Going NC won’t help her miss me. It will only allow us time to heal. I want to respect her decision foremost, but on the same time I am wondering how could I make her change her mind without manipulating.
Edit: I am a virgo sun, I was the dumper, I think of her first when I wake up and last when I go to sleep. I know I can’t be friends rn but genuinely would like another chance.😔

[Routine Help] i'm wondering where i can fit paula's choice hyaluronic acid booster in my routine as i'm trying to bump up in regards to moisture, but my routine is already a little packed so idk what the best course of action is. here's my current routine:
-AM-

1. cetaphil gentle skin cleanser
2. i’m from rice toner
3. cosrx snail mucin essence
4. paula’s choice c15 booster
5. skinoren (azelaic acid) 20%
6. purito b5 panthenol re-barrier cream
7. beauty of joseon relief sun spf50

-PM-

1. beauty of joseon radiance cleansing balm
2. cetaphil hydrating foaming cream cleanser
3. retin-a 0.1% (sundays: the ordinary 7% glycolic acid toner)
4. i’m from rice toner
5. cosrx snail mucin essence
6. skinoren (azelaic acid) 20%
7. dr jart ceramidin skin barrier moisturising cream
8. (sundays: vaseline petroleum jelly)

i'd probably add the hyaluronic acid after cosrx snail mucin in the PM as my azelaic acid is a cream, but would that be overkill?

i really wanted to go through each song and rate it so here’s a lil review for my second listen of the album

• peter pan - really cute song makes me sad don’t love the noise in the background 8/10
• sickset - might be the best song on the album absolutely love very rks also i can hear charlie’s voice on this one 10/10
• finalist - i don’t have much feeling abt this one it’s good but feels a little empty 7/10
• LOL - underrated single love the lyrics not my fav chorus tho 8/10
• lucky - can’t really understand the lyrics v instrumental heavy 6/10
• meticulous - very fun! definitely a top song seems fun to sing along to 9/10
• hot pink ice cube - has a nice beat very bouncy i hope they upload the lyrics soon 7/10
• SVO - gets stuck in my head a lot doesn’t seem like a song id play for other ppl tho also what is a silicone vacancy ooze??7/10
• Code Blue - this one makes me want to cry beautiful lyrics love to sing it heavy contender for my fave 10/10
• overtime - love the lyrics i think the rest of the band really shines on this song too with instrumentals and backing vocals 9/10
• Ghoul - very interesting interesting song mostly doesn’t sound like rks but definitely a vibe i like 6/10
• John Woo - very lyrical i don’t get a strong impressiom right away but id like to read the lyrics 8/10
• Low as we go - a little too electronic for my taste but it’s good 7/10
• bearwalk - i like visuals it evokes very fun nice guitar solo 9/10
• Superstar - she’s fun she grew on me 7/10
• Cinderella - very fun i think i’ll like it more the more i listen to it 8/10
• best man - i think it’s very fun tho it kinda feels like it was written specifically to be played in the club 6.5/10
• rabbit run - i really vibe with this one great lyrics 9/10
• daddy yankee - i think it’s fun i wonder who it’s abt 7/10
• re-entry - good! 7/10
• no occasion - i like it 8/10
• thanks for coming - the first time i listened to this one it made me really emotional so many layers i love it 10/10

overall i give the album an 7.5/10 i feel like the lyrics are still there and overall i really like it i think some of the sound change can definitely be attributed to the new producer. it’s still true to them as a band but a little different they’re finding their footing as the band evolves

It should be the 9th attempt and this time is special because the season should start today!
Im part of this sub for a long time now and it feels so refreshing finding people that love games and likes to share they're hobby with others, both who can afford a game or gifts and who can't. The community its amazing and im gratefull to be part of it :D .
Today im here asking for help on getting Diablo IV! but lets deep-dive into the request a bit...shall we?
What is Diablo IV?:
Well, even if you're not an RPG or in this case, ARPG fan, you probably heard in your life about Diablo! it's probably the most famous ARPG of all times, it's been out for more than 20 years now and even with the latest up's and down's of the title in the past years, it's probably one of the best in its genre. For this reason i won't really make a wall of text about it, because im gonna be real, im a new player of ARPG's (beside playing some diablo 2/3 and path of exile years ago), the first one i took seriously was Last Epoch 1 month and half ago (amazing title, i suggest it to everyone that loves this type of games) so i don't really know a lot about Diablo IV lore, story, campaign etc. I kept spoilers away from me, because i think beauty of this genre, sometimes is to explore it by yourself without people telling you what to do and how to do at first.
Why i am requesting it now?:
As i said im a big fan of RPG's, MMORPG's and now recently ARPG's made space into my list of games that im loving and im starting to appreciate any one of them (beside Path of Exile where its still a bit hard for me, one day...one day).
I recently reached the "end" of the current Last Epoch "Season / Cycle" for the characters i made and i was looking deep into the genre, Diablo is game that i already played in the past (with diablo 2 maybe 3 even, years ago when i was a young boy) and i always had a great time playing it, also it's currently one of the two games on the market that's pretty new player friendly (like Last Epoch) and i heard/readed that they're improving the game a lot with the next seasons coming up in the next months, so this is probably the best time to jump in and learn the mechanics of this title and have fun with my friends or solo eventually, so to be prepared to the next big major content update for the game.
Im looking forward to play Barbarian class and then...we'll see heheh (im addicted to big muscle and big weapons characters ahah). I love the graphic, the enviroments, the aesthetic and the whole settings of the campaign (from what i saw on the steam trailer between last year and this week), it gives me a lot of old school rpg's vibes, also the character customization and combat seems amazing, really good to see.
Why im asking for your help currently?:
As you can imagine, right now, i don't have enough money to buy a copy of the game, even when it goes on sale still a price that i can't really afford. My job is not stable and every income i have goes towards my family, the bills and the GeForce Now subscription (cloud gaming platform that i use to play games on my old laptop, since my main computer died during the covid era and i couldn't buy a new one). Unfortunately i never had the opportunity to get the game even at launch or during 2023/early this year and it went out on sale always when i was short on money for gaming.
For this reason im asking for your help and for your generosity once again, since i met a lot of good people around here and all of them were great.
If you can or want to help me i will leave below my steam profile and the page of the game, i wish you really the best and thank you again for reading me <3 .
My Steam Profile: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198259313755/ Diablo IV Steam page
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So I love my girlfriend very much but there’s this thing she does that really messes me up.
As an ftm/ftnb, I hate my thighs and hips more than anything else on my body. Sometimes I would mention this, and she would often say “but you’re beautiful” or “no one really judges other people’s thighs all that much” in an effort, I think, to comfort me
But the fact is I DONT like the way my body is, and I think it’s a legitimate and understandable thing to feel (I literally went to a liposuction surgeon only to be told that most of my hips and thighs is bone structure that can’t be changed no matter what), and by dismissing my dislike of my own body, I feel like gf is dismissing the legitimacy of my dysmorphia
That’s the best way I can put it into words anyway. I don’t even know how to talk to her about this.

Nestled in the heart of Rajasthan, Jaipur is a city that embodies regal grandeur, cultural richness, and timeless elegance. It's no wonder that couples from around the world flock to this majestic Pink City to exchange vows amidst its palatial settings and vibrant culture. However, orchestrating a wedding in Jaipur requires meticulous planning and execution to transform your dream into reality. That's where the expertise of the best wedding planners comes into play. Today, let's explore the top wedding planners in Jaipur who can curate a celebration that mirrors your vision and surpasses all expectations.

1. Shaadi Planners With a reputation for excellence and a penchant for perfection, Shaadi Planners is a leading name in the wedding planning industry in Jaipur. Their team of seasoned professionals possesses a wealth of experience and expertise in crafting bespoke weddings tailored to the unique preferences of each couple. From venue selection to décor, entertainment, and logistics, they handle every aspect with finesse, ensuring a seamless and unforgettable experience for you and your guests.
2. Dream Makers Event & Entertainment Dream Makers Event & Entertainment is synonymous with creativity, innovation, and flawless execution. Specializing in destination weddings, they have mastered the art of blending traditional Rajasthani elements with contemporary trends to create mesmerizing celebrations. Whether you envision a lavish palace wedding or an intimate affair amidst the scenic beauty of Jaipur, their team is committed to turning your dreams into reality, leaving you with cherished memories to last a lifetime.
3. Regal Weddings True to its name, Regal Weddings specializes in crafting opulent and extravagant wedding experiences that exude royalty and sophistication. Renowned for their attention to detail and impeccable service, they cater to the discerning tastes of clients seeking nothing but the best for their special day. From luxurious venues to exquisite décor, culinary delights, and entertainment, every aspect of your wedding is meticulously planned and executed with precision, ensuring a majestic celebration that leaves a lasting impression.
4. Fiestro Events Fiestro Events is a dynamic team of creative minds and passionate souls dedicated to orchestrating weddings that are as unique as the couples they celebrate. With a focus on personalized service and innovation, they strive to infuse every wedding with character, charm, and flair. Whether you desire a traditional Rajput ceremony or a contemporary fusion affair, their team works tirelessly to bring your vision to life, creating magical moments that resonate with joy and love.
5. The Wedding Co. As pioneers in the wedding planning industry, The Wedding Co. has earned a reputation for excellence through their commitment to exceeding client expectations. From conceptualization to execution, their team approaches each wedding with creativity, integrity, and meticulous attention to detail. Whether you seek a lavish extravaganza or an intimate gathering, they collaborate closely with you to understand your desires and preferences, crafting a tailor-made experience that reflects your style and personality.

Coding is fun - making small projects come to live is cool
But I need to learn good structure (or structure at all, lol)
I am getting educated to become a Software Developer and today we talked a lot about Java. Took a look at Interfaces, Feature-Classes, and other neat stuff.
Teacher drew a beautiful UML / Class-Diagram which greatly helped me visualize which objects/scripts/classes need to communicate with each other, how the flow of information is etc...
I _think_ what I am looking for is:
A project/tutorial/video/course that not only walks you through the coding steps (lets start with player movement, lets spawn enemies, now we need projectiles...) but rather talk more conceptually on how to have a neat structure.
That visualizes how it all "falls together" ...
Just as a random example: Game has a player, 3 enemy types, two destructible world objects, two weapons, a score board, that's enough. Now what would help me GRATELY would be a Class-Diagram to really show the structure of it all...
Do we want <> super class for Entities for Player, Enemy, Destructible Objects? Do they share an interface which implements an health-bar-component? If Player hits Enemy with Weapon, do we have a 'standalone' script for the damage calculation, or do we just run it inside the weapons code, or the enemy "on collision" event, ... What inherits from what, what objects "know" of each other, how is the communication between objects ...
I am aware that there is "no single answer" to it. That's why I hope to find material that focuses on what options you have, what to consider to find the best approach for your specific use-case, how a neat and organized approach COULD look like for a small scope game ...
I guess you guys get the idea ... ... any recommendations?
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