When do you know when a virgo woman is upset

I’ve had an interest in honey bees for years, so I know more about them than the average person. Two weeks ago we had a swarm at work and I found a company to come remove them for free. The guy was great. Very social and excited about bees. We (my three coworkers and I) talked with him for a while and he told me I know a lot about bees and I should be a beekeeper. I lit up. I asked someone in the past to mentor me but he didn’t respond and I just left it at that so I leapt at this opportunity. Immediately when we went inside, the guys told me he was shamelessly checking me out. This came as a surprise to me because I usually notice these things but I didn’t this day and for some reason I thought he was gay.
Either way I liked him and his outgoing personality and last Sunday I met him for my first day of learning. It was fantastic. He’s extremely knowledgeable and a great teacher. He was encouraging and thorough. He let me use one of his suits. 98% of our conversation was bee related. We decided we would meet on Sundays to beekeep.
The parts that weren’t about bees were this. He told me about his land, how he used to hunt (I asked), and about his dog. He asked how old I was (I’m 31) and told me he thought I was 24, 25 at most. At one point he did say something along the lines of “you’d think I’d be able to find a woman” when discussing all of the different hobbies he has. He told me about a friend from work who was married, so “there was never anything weird or inappropriate,” but his friendship with her made him realize he was lonely and missing companionship. He also mentioned being on Christian mingle. He also said in the summer it gets hot under the suit and I might end up “wearing something skimpier” to protect against the heat. I took note of all of this but didn’t jump to any conclusions.
On Monday (yesterday) I told my coworkers about it. I left out everything in the last paragraph. They expressed their mistrust again. He actually came by again on Monday to collect the queen (he had accidentally left her behind, and there were a couple hundred bees clumped around her). I knew he was coming because we had agreed he would come get them if they were still there.
He texted me a little on Monday and called me around 730p. I didn’t answer. Today he texted me first thing in the morning. “Good morning my up and coming protege. How are you today?” I don’t like talking to anyone everyday so this struck me as weird but innocent. I read it as a lonely older guy (he’s 60) who’s excited to teach someone younger about his niche hobby.
Today, my coworkers brought it back up and said they don’t think I should go back over there. They talked about it for like half an hour. I tried to defend him as best I could and reassure them that I would be cautious. They said if I go back, I need to bring my gun (I’m not doing that). An hour later he called me, knowing I’m at work, and greeted me with “hello my little kitty.” My stomach dropped. He told me about some bee stuff and said “I wish you had some time, I need to learn your lifestyle.” I told him Sundays are really my only day and he said “wow, you really have that much going on?” I said these days, yes and he said “is your boyfriend really that demanding?”
And just like that, it’s ruined. I’ll find another mentor but I’m just so disappointed. I have to trust my gut on this. I don’t understand why you would see someone half your age- your daughters age- and interested in your hobby turned business and display over familiar and borderline possessive behavior. Why would he ruin it?

I (23F) was having dinner with my family the other day, and we were talking about some extended family we hadn't heard from in a long time. During the discussion, my mom informed us that one of our cousins had to get an abortion because she has a history of eclampsia and there was a big chance of her not making it if she decided to carry the baby to term. She almost died last time she was pregnant. She told us to call her and ask how she’s doing and if we could do anything for her. My sister (26f) objected heavily, basically saying that abortion is a crime and that all of us allowing it to happen are basically helping her sin and killing babies. Now, we are all religious in my family but are also very pro-choice. My parents especially raised us on the principles of "your body, your choice." One of the things my dad always says is: "Do not judge anyone because you feel like your beliefs are better than others. They’re not."
Now, my sister was not always like that; she did believe in no sex before marriage, but without slut-shaming, she was not exactly living by those principles. She got pregnant a few years ago with her boyfriend, and she was so afraid that people would shame her because she did the deed in private while telling everyone in public that she was as pure as a saint, that she decided to get an abortion. She didn’t tell anyone, but I found out because her then-boyfriend was the brother of one of my friends. And she told me. That was 5 years ago, and I had not told anyone until last week at the dinner.
It really was not intentional, but during the argument, when she said we were all helping my cousin kill a baby, I laughed and said something along the lines of "well that’s rich coming from you." As soon as I said it, she turned white, and my parents kind of picked up on it and asked me to explain myself. I told them. She got an abortion 5 years ago but still acts like she never heard of sex. That she is a hypocrite that flaunts her high moral ground, looking down on us, speaking of sins that she herself did.
My parents asked her if it was true, and she just sat there mute for I don’t know how long. They asked me if I could leave so they could speak to her without my presence. I have not heard from her since then, but my mom called me the day after, and she was very upset at me because it was not my place to tell. So, AITA?

So for context, we only started dating about 3 months ago but things have been going really, really great. She's been kinder to me than anyone I've dated before and she's always been upfront and honest with me about things. I don't need to ask, she tells me the things she thinks I have a right to know. I've felt really happy and cared for and I've felt like I really trust her. So this is not a matter of trust.
However, the other day one of the guys living on her floor said good morning to us as we were leaving the apartment together, and she looked terrified for a moment. I asked what was wrong and she told me that he used to constantly ask her for sex and she used to repeatedly say no but he never respected it, that he would make moves on her in the workplace too and she would give out to him for being so disrespectful, but that on two occasions she hooked up with him while feeling really down and when she needed to "feel wanted", then regretted it afterwards. She told me that once she met me, she told him she didn't want to maintain active contact with him, but that he made contact again both in work and via text to tell her she could always "take shelter" in his room if she wanted and added "you can bring your boyfriend too", which she said infuriated her and made her lose all respect for him.
I didn't ask for any of this information, she confessed herself immediately after the encounter, and she said she was trying to find the best way to tell me about this. She also told me she had no feelings for him at all, which I believe, but this honestly makes it harder for me to understand. She has told me about her past sexual relationships without me asking and in every other case she had feelings for the guy, so I didn't think twice about it, but she claimed this guy was the sole exception which I think was meant to reassure me. But all I can think about is the fact that she slept with him multiple times despite the fact that they work together, live in rooms across from each other, that he was repeatedly disrespectful to her, and that she had no feelings for him.
This doesn't really make any sense to me and seems very out of character for her as she's someone I see as having high standards when it comes to how others treat her. Why would she maintain contact despite the disrespect? Why would she risk her job, home, and risk complicating future relationships for the sake of having sex with this guy? Why would it happen twice, and so recently too (the last time was shortly before we met), if she regretted it? Why is he so casually friendly and making such strange comments?
All of these details have left me ruminating excessively about their history and how I may encounter him any time I visit or leave her apartment, etc. I can't get these thoughts and images out of my head, even though I have no jealousy at all about any of her other past relationships that she shared all the details of. But something about this is really bothering me and making me feel miserable. I don't think it's a matter of trust as I do trust her not to cheat. It's not a matter of insecurity or feeling inadequate either. But I don't quite know what it is.
I personally have never had casual sex despite many opportunities because I always wanted to reserve sexual intimacy for relationships and avoid drama or hurting people, so it's possible that her actions just make me worry we have different views of sex. For me, it's really tied to feelings. I wouldn't want to end the relationship over different views of sex in either case, but it's possible that I'm feeling this way because it suggests a difference between us that I wasn't cognizant of before.
Regardless, I need to overcome this and I don't want to be distant with her because I am feeling so down about it. It's not fair to her and she's being nothing but incredibly kind to me. While the relationship is new, we've spent a lot of time together too and she has been consistently loving and considerate. What can I do to overcome or at least understand these feelings, and how can I navigate this situation so she doesn't get hurt or upset by me being emotionally distant while processing my feelings?
Tl;dr: My amazing new girlfriend told me, without me asking, that she previously (before we met) hooked up with a coworker who lives in her apartment on two occasions, despite the fact that she had rejected him countless times before and he never respected her saying no. I'm really struggling not to ruminate about it, but I'm not entirely sure why I'm so upset. I don't want my feelings to damage the relationship and need help understanding them.

Disclaimer: This is another one of my epic novels. Consider yourself warned.
Rule #1: Don't tell anyone at work. Rule #2: Don't write about work.
Somehow the boss and I got onto the topic of protein the other day... one thing lead to another... and before I could stop my lips, they spilled the tea. I at least managed to leave the MJ part out. Admittedly, it felt a bit like lying to the priest in the confessional (wouldn't be the first time that's happened)... except, this was on Zoom and we could see each other's faces.
Fortunately, I've lost enough weight now that the revelation was met with a raised eyebrow and a "WOW!" rather than the more typical.. "Really? Again? Until when? Lunchtime?". He's seen this rodeo before - more than a few times - so I really couldn't have blamed him if that would've been his response.
So far, he's been right EVERY. TIME.
And then he asked what my goal weight was. I should've known better.
"What? No! That's too much. You're such a big girl!"
Yes... Yes I am... but recent discoveries would indicate otherwise. (see my post EVERYDAY IS AN ADVENTURE for more information)
My goal weight is... ambitious.
While I would be the first to admit that my goal weight seems rather far fetched, based on my current weight. I didn't just pull it out of thin air. It was important to me that I set a goal that was anchored to something tangible - even if it seemed ambitious.
So, just before I started MJ in January 2024, I had a DEXA scan done. If you're not familiar with what a DEXA scan is, in the most simplest of terms, it's essentially a low radiation x-ray that scans your entire body and will calculate your body composition. You're provided with a report that will outline for you how much bone you have, how much lean mass you have (meaning muscle, connective tissue, organs, etc.), and how much fat you have. It takes it even one step further and provide a reasonable estimate of how much subaqueous fat you have (the annoying but tolerable fat) versus the amount of visceral fat you have (the evil fat twin you'd gladly give up for adoption).
So, knowing what my CURRENT lean body mass is under this fluffy quilt I walk around in, I could use that information to figure out what my "ideal" weight should be. How did I do that? Well, LEAN BODY MASS + 24% BODY FAT. Why 24%? Well, based on what I could estimate from guidelines online, 24% seemed to fit the mid-range of what would be considered 'healthy' for a woman of my age and height. So with a little basic math, I came to a number that is now my goal weight.
And yes, I'm perfectly prepared to settle on a much higher weight if, somewhere along this journey I discover a point where I'm actually comfortable in my own skin <-- Ha! Ha! That would be a first!
Plus, thanks to this subreddit, there is at least one person out there that started at a similar weight to me, same height as me, and is maintaining her weight within a range I had calculate. And she has the pictures to prove it! So, there is evidence that my end game is not entirely a made up fantasy. Thankfully, Cautious-Freedom-199 has been very open in sharing her personal journey, and it is her willingness and courage to share this part of herself that has made it possible for me to even imagine the possibilities.
So why am I having to defend myself?
Well, it's human nature.... and I have to keep reminding myself of that. Everyone will always have an opinion about something. We all do it. But what is important, is to recognize the intent. The intention, in this case, was not to harm me or ill will. Clearly, he has a point of reference, that he can relate to. And the number I stated, didn't align with his point of reference. And that's okay.
But still... suddenly I found myself having to justify my goal weight to him. A number, I'm not even convinced myself is based in reality. While I'm cautiously optimistic about the future, there's still a big part of me that has seated herself on the sidelines with her giant bowl of popcorn and strawberry twizzlers, keeping herself entertained with all of the replays of past colossal failures, while she waits, with eager anticipation, for the latest feature failure to premier.
My saving grace is that I'm a little bit of a nerd. I research the most mundane random curiosities, just for entertainment purposes - and also to help inform myself. Health, nutrition, weight loss all happen to be some of the mundane random curiosities I've obsessed over - for MANY YEARS. All in an effort to try and understand where all these little f*** fat cells came from, why they picked MY BODY of all places, and why every other cell in my body knows to DIE - skin cells die... brain cells die... muscle cells die... but for some reason, these fat little f*** fat cells convinced God to grant them eternal life. And with my luck, these little f*** will end up following me into the afterlife and I'll be fat there too - for eternity. My point is, when I find myself in situations like this, talking to someone who knows less about the topic at hand than I do... my super power is to literally bury them with information. More than they ever would want to know. And I don't stop, until they BEG me to.
Credibility is King!
If you're going to put any part of yourself out there, it pays to arm yourself with a few fun facts and have some tangible evidence to back up your rationalization, AND present in a way that is relatable to the personal your talking to. Nothing lends more credibility to what you're saying than sounding like the leading authority. In other words, it's hard to argue with someone who knows their shit. So when I explained how I came up with my goal weight, whether he agreed with it or not, it didn't matter. He could see that there was a methodology behind it, it was based on facts, and presented in a way that allowed him to understand there was strong logical evidence to support that number.
While this won't work in every situation - some people are just an ignorant stick in the mud - and you can't fix stupid, so don't waste your time even trying. Usually, if your audience is of reasonable intelligence and reasonably open-minded, and capable of having a respectful and rational discussion, then you at least have a fighting chance that they'll recognize that whatever your perspective is, has merit and isn't just complete bullshit. They may still chose to disagree - and that's okay. It's not your job to convince anyone that you're right and they're wrong. And so long as everyone agrees to respectfully disagree and leave it at that - there's nothing wrong with it.
Only time will tell....
He could actually be right.
I certainly don't know if I'm right.
And it doesn't matter.
But there are boundaries.
I did leave a key detail out of my discussion with him. Mounjaro. That was not by accident. And that's because I know there is a public perception of GLP-1 medications that is very misguided and misinformed and it is not a mountain I'm prepared to die on anytime soon. I don't know if he's even heard of these medications. It's quite possible he knows nothing about them. But it doesn't matter. This is a small detail I choose to keep close to my chest. Maybe, once I've reached my goal weight, I'll be more open about it. But no sooner than that, and it may well remain something that is on a 'need to know basis only' and most people won't ever need to know.
One thing I know for sure, and has proven itself time and time again, is that someone who has never had a significant weight problem their entire life CANNOT possibly relate to someone who has. They cannot process the distinction. They equate their struggles to lose 10-20-30 lbs to be the same as someone trying to lose 100-200-300 lbs. It's NOT the same. It's a different war on a different battle field with different rules. And I've learned that it's a losing battle to try and convince anyone just how different it is.
There was a podcast I recently watched on YouTube on PeterAttiaMD 's channel talking with Layne Norton. Layne explains why two people - one who has been lean their whole life - the other, fat their whole life - can both try to lose 20lbs and how the deck is stacked against the fat person vs. the lean person. I don't recall the specifics off hand and don't want misquote - but if this is of interest then maybe hunt through those interviews. If I can find it - I'll post it in the comments. But it was definitely an Aha! moment for me when he explained it. Sometimes, you hear someone explain the science and you suddenly feel vindicated.
So how did my conversation end with the boss?
Well, it ended with him asking me how many calories he should be eating per day, how much protein he should have, and then me calculating out his TDEE, caloric target, and macro ratios so that he can start on his own weight loss journey tomorrow. 😉
THE END.
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I (29m) recently started dating (not exclusive, not boyfriend / girlfriend, just getting to know each other) a new woman (33f) after leaving a long term relationship (over 10 years) with an ex (28f). I haven’t really dated before (I was asked out by my ex early on in high school and never dated before) so dating is new to me. When meeting new people I avoid over sharing information about my past romantic history early on unless asked very specifically about it. For example, I will share information about my past history like when we broke up, why we broke up, what I learned, and on but I’ll avoid more details about how involved we were together (e.g. living situation, traumatic events, etc) or particularly difficult topics for me until I get to know the person more.
I’ve started slowly dating one woman. On date two (about a month ago) she casually brought up pets and asked about my experience with animals (would you ever want a pet, have you taken care of a dog before, etc). I talked about my experience with pets early on in my childhood but did not discuss the dog that my ex bought for emotional support (despite my objections) and that I helped care for in the last two years of our relationship. I avoided this topic because my ex and I got into a particularly nasty argument splitting up property (I had expected her to not fight me over certain sentimental items in exchange for me not trying to fight for her dog, which didn’t go as expected) a week before the second date. I knew that if I brought up my ex’s dog I would probably get upset and I didn’t want to trauma dump or throw things off on our date, so I didn’t mention it.
We’re going on date four later this week. Last week we talked about deeper relationship questions. She talked about how she really values transparency, being direct and avoiding white lies with a partner which are things I value too. I was remembering the pet discussion last night and this morning I now feel conflicted - maybe even ashamed - of avoiding talking about the dog before. I wasn’t trying to misrepresent who I am to her, just avoiding a sensitive topic early on, but I feel like in doing so I may have misrepresented myself and I feel bad about that because it doesn’t align with my values (even though this wasn’t a white lie). I don’t really know how to handle under sharing vs lying by omission though. It seems like a gray line unless you always default to over sharing.
So my questions here: 1. Would you characterize my actions as lying by omission or undersharing? 2. How do you recommend tackling lying by omission vs under sharing in the future? How do you draw the line? 3. How can I go about making things right here? I want to tell her eventually, but I’m not sure about the best way to bring this up.

Hi everyone, I wanted some kiwis to weigh in on thoughts about the NZ social welfare system.
I always wanted to visit NZ and was planning a trip before covid that was obviously cancelled but I made it to your beautiful country a few months ago and it was so much much then I expected I just absolutely fell in love, no video or picture could do justice to what I experienced and as someone who always wanted to immigrate abroad NZ was always high on my list of countries and after visiting I decided that was it I had found my place. Currently I am in university getting my degree in social work and I looked at job listings in different cities and annual income it all looks very similar to my country but I know with inflation and high cost of living would I be able to make it on that kind of salary? How are working conditions in cities compared to rural communities? What areas need help in the most is it homelessness, domestic violence, poverty, etc? What has your experience been as a social worker when it comes to work organizations, clients, government support for programs? I deeply love NZ and want to make it my home one day with that being said how would I as an outsider be viewed if I got a job working with Māori people since the population to my knowledge does benefit from social programs a bit especially children. I can learn all about the culture and currently I am learning the language ( in which I sound terrible no doubt) but ultimately I don’t want to offend anyone or involve myself in things that people would get upset over. I know if I would get a job there as a social worker it is a straight to permanent residency visa according to the NZ immigration website which is encouraging but I would really love any input or advice you may have, I know NZ isn’t perfect no country is I know it’s not paradise there are real problems that people face especially with housing and low income so much so that many people move to Australia but even with that and the problems I’ve heard about the current government I still want to make NZ my home and with any place I live I want to work to make it better.

Hi everyone, I wanted some kiwis to weigh in on thoughts about the NZ social welfare system.
I always wanted to visit NZ and was planning a trip before covid that was obviously cancelled but I made it to your beautiful country a few months ago and it was so much much then I expected I just absolutely fell in love, no video or picture could do justice to what I experienced and as someone who always wanted to immigrate abroad NZ was always high on my list of countries and after visiting I decided that was it I had found my place. Currently I am in university getting my degree in social work and I looked at job listings in different cities and annual income it all looks very similar to my country but I know with inflation and high cost of living would I be able to make it on that kind of salary? How are working conditions in cities compared to rural communities? What areas need help in the most is it homelessness, domestic violence, poverty, etc? What has your experience been as a social worker when it comes to work organizations, clients, government support for programs? I deeply love NZ and want to make it my home one day with that being said how would I as an outsider be viewed if I got a job working with Māori people since the population to my knowledge does benefit from social programs a bit especially children. I can learn all about the culture and currently I am learning the language ( in which I sound terrible no doubt) but ultimately I don’t want to offend anyone or involve myself in things that people would get upset over. I know if I would get a job there as a social worker it is a straight to permanent residency visa according to the NZ immigration website which is encouraging but I would really love any input or advice you may have, I know NZ isn’t perfect no country is I know it’s not paradise there are real problems that people face especially with housing and low income so much so that many people move to Australia but even with that and the problems I’ve heard about the current government I still want to make NZ my home and with any place I live I want to work to make it better.

Hi everyone, I wanted some kiwis to weigh in on thoughts about the NZ social welfare system.
I always wanted to visit NZ and was planning a trip before covid that was obviously cancelled but I made it to your beautiful country a few months ago and it was so much much then I expected I just absolutely fell in love, no video or picture could do justice to what I experienced and as someone who always wanted to immigrate abroad NZ was always high on my list of countries and after visiting I decided that was it I had found my place. Currently I am in university getting my degree in social work and I looked at job listings in different cities and annual income it all looks very similar to my country but I know with inflation and high cost of living would I be able to make it on that kind of salary? How are working conditions in cities compared to rural communities? What areas need help in the most is it homelessness, domestic violence, poverty, etc? What has your experience been as a social worker when it comes to work organizations, clients, government support for programs? I deeply love NZ and want to make it my home one day with that being said how would I as an outsider be viewed if I got a job working with Māori people since the population to my knowledge does benefit from social programs a bit especially children. I can learn all about the culture and currently I am learning the language ( in which I sound terrible no doubt) but ultimately I don’t want to offend anyone or involve myself in things that people would get upset over. I know if I would get a job there as a social worker it is a straight to permanent residency visa according to the NZ immigration website which is encouraging but I would really love any input or advice you may have, I know NZ isn’t perfect no country is I know it’s not paradise there are real problems that people face especially with housing and low income so much so that many people move to Australia but even with that and the problems I’ve heard about the current government I still want to make NZ my home and with any place I live I want to work to make it better.

I (13F) have a classmate, Brady (13M). I don’t like Brady at all, he’s one of those boys who acts as a gym teacher’s pet, always telling the teacher if a kid isn’t “trying”, and I’ll admit that a lot of kids don’t try in gym and Brady and his friends will take any opportunity to get you in trouble if you’re not participating. I know it’s technically against the rules but I do t care, I’ve seen Brady and his friends gist pump after getting kids in detention, and personally, I got a detention after not wanting to participate in basketball after getting my nails done.
Brady is a popular kid and he plays baseball, I also have a lot of friends who don’t like him. He’s the type of boy who cries if his team loses in gym class, I’ll admit I’ve made a comment on it, and he said he doesn’t care if people judge him for crying and that other people are the problem if they can’t handle boys crying.
In my English class, yesterday, we were assigned groups for a project we are doing for a book we read. Our teacher uses a randomizer and I was put in a group with Brady. We then sat in our groups and started working together. Some small talk had started as we were going to figure out what to do. One of the girls in my group brought up the upcoming dance and it’s a sports theme, Brady was talking about how his friends came up with the theme, and when I complained about it, he said I should get my friends elected as school president and on the school council, as they get to decide the dance and event themes. Brady was talking about how hard his friends worked to win those elections. We began to argue and I mentioned how he acted in gym class, I told him he was unfairly hard on me as I’m a girl. He said my excuse was “bullshit” and mentioned some woman in college basketball and said “she’s better than men at basketball looking at the stats” and said she shows it’s no excuse for me to not try as hard at gym as he does. He accused me of being sexist against women as a girl for not recognizing how many women could beat men at sports and that I was just using this as an excuse to be lazy in gym class. We argued some more before our teacher came over to see the problem.
I told my teacher I wouldn’t work with Brady as he was being condescending and not listening to me. He accused me of being sexist for saying women are weaker at sports. She said she was keeping us in the groups as we need to learn to work with people who we don’t like. I told her I wouldn’t do that, and she said that we were graded as a group, so I better hope my classmates do my work. They’re refusing to work on the project if I don’t work on it.
I told my parents about what happened when I got home and they contacted the administration at my school, but the administration refused to punish Brady and said our teacher has the right to do what she wants in this scenario. My parents told me I just have to deal with Brady. Brady has been going around telling everyone what happened and now some of my friends are accusing me of being an internalized misogynist. I doubt they even know what those words mean, and Brady never used those words either. Today in English class we were in our seats, but I could see other people in our group give me dirty looks. AITA?

Hey everybody,
I’ve wanted to share this for a while because I feel like I went through a long period where I dated people who had similar issues as me because it made me feel more accepted and reduced my fear of judgment or being misunderstood. What I found is that it was very hard to support each other in a relationship when we would both end up triggering each other whenever the other person was going through an unstable time. It always ended with me drained from giving all I had away to support them or in a situation where I’m abused or neglected.
I was so thrown off with dating someone with no substance dependencies, mental illness, or trauma, but it has really been the most supportive relationship I’ve been in times infinity. Even though he doesn’t know what it feels like to experience what we do, he always pays attention to my moods and emotions and has great instincts and asks questions to educate himself on how best to support me in different situations. Worth mentioning, we are both 31 and do have some maturity under our belt.
I am never judged. He does not react back to my emotionally heightened reactions. He’s so calm and understanding. If he doesn’t really understand why I’m so upset about something, he keeps those thoughts to himself and just comforts me. He doesn’t cast opinions about things he can’t possibly understand, so I’m not required to justify my feelings.
I grew up with a very reactive father to everything with my illness, and I genuinely didn’t believe I could find a relationship with a man that is so safe and supportive.
I’ve connected with a lot of people in our community during treatments, but I’ve been afraid to really share what I experienced to people who don’t have that comprehension. Turns out even romantic partners can learn and adapt. I think what really made it work was that I was able to access a strength within myself that allowed me to work harder for my health than I ever could before. He couldn’t do that part for me, but he actually added to my life instead of making it more complicated. I can’t help but think that makes a huge difference. We are engaged now.
I just don’t want anyone to be afraid to open themselves up to those who may not instantly understand. It’s such a peace of mind to be able to go through an episode or mood swing, and your partner having the emotional tolerance to calmly support you. Everyone deserves that, and we have plenty to offer a relationship as well.
Edit: I do know that neurodivergence often refers to those on the autism spectrum, but it has made sense to me to include those with mental illnesses as well. I use neurotypical as a description for someone without any neurological or mental health conditions.

I have a story I would like some help with, I'm going to try to make this as short as I can but there's things I wanna say to help anyone reading understand the situation, so this could be a lengthy one.
Firstly, I'm aware this could seem like a stupid post but idk nor do I trust anyone around me to give me a second opinion bc ppl I would think to go to either don't care, don't know what anything I'm saying even means, or have the same "that's how the cowboys did it" stupid fucking response. So I'm making this post to hopefully hear from ppl who are actually willing to help me see from different perspectives rather than brush me off. Considering not having much to look to, I'm fairly easily swayed by ppl I meet who know more about something than I do bc I want to be able to look up to them.
Secondly, some backstory. I have a 21yr old mare who was abandoned with aggression issues. Just straight up left in the field to rot from a very young age, I know this very well bc she used to be owned by my aunt, who dropped her off at my grandparents' farm, who hated her to begin with and having heard about alleged aggression issues refused to do anything with her themselves, such as find her a better home. My aunt bought her with the intentions of growing and learning with her but didn't know enough to properly communicate and they would fight with each other alot so she gave up.
Well I recently finally got her to let me have this horse under the condition that I can prove I can financially support her needs and give her a better home than they could. This was about a year or two ago she finally said yes after years of asking. So this mare, Eclipse, in fact is not at all aggressive, one of the sweetest horses I've ever known. She's just reactive to improper and unfair treatment. Since she was abandoned and left in a field for 15+ yrs of her life she's never had much work done, this includes her hooves which is what I'm here about.
She has all the health issues u can imagine, half of them 2yrs later I finally have under control and I'm currently trying my best to find solutions and manage what's remaining. I've spent the same amount of time trying to get her to pick up her hooves, she is only as of these past few months confident enough to stand quietly and let me work on her, and when she's not she has learned how to safely tell me so. As you can imagine, her hooves contribute to ALOT of her health problems so this is a top priority for me. I spent a good while making sure she was confident enough working with me before having the farrier out, who she has met many other times before bc he comes here for my other mares.
I now have 3 horses in total, all mares as well as a big burly dog. He's not afraid of anything, he guards the property, he's not aggressive but you're guilty until proven innocent. He has also met the farrier many times.
I go thru farriers like candy bc of my location. They hate being here and tell me that just having 2 horses to work on is a waste of their time so every couple years I'm looking for a new one. My horses have hated every single farrier that has worked on them, bc they come out here with negative attitudes, often in a rush, just trying to get it over with and it resulted in "arguments" between the farriers and my horses each time. My horses are super patient and have high tolerances, I can assure you they do their best to not cause problems but I know that's hard when you're trying to be kind to someone who doesn't care enough to be kind to you.
Story time. This new farrier I have has been around for 2 years. He has competed in blacksmithing and farrier championships and has placed in the top 5 multiple times. My horses are barefoot and only have trims done, so it takes him 5 - 10mins per horse. He is super quick and does a fucking beautiful job. Better than any of the last farriers I've had before. He's super considerate of any physical problems any of the horses might have and very carefully works around them. Idk if this is what had me so blinded or what but I told him I finally have full confidence in Eclipse and we're ready for her to be trimmed. I was excited, I put her thru every test I could think of I made sure she was familiar with farrier holds and the feeling of trims and being handled and so on and so forth. I wanted her done first, so I had her first in line when he came out. She must have known what was going to happen bc she panicked like I've never seen before solely at the sight of his truck. He comes up, I made sure to be clear that considering her history and everything ik about her it's important to be slow right now, and I stressed the fact that it took a very long time to get this far with her. It's her very first farrier appointment. He goes to start working on her, she was okay at first but I could see he was rushing her and it started to scare her and the more she tried to express she was getting scared the more aggressive he got. I told him multiple times to stop and give her a second and maybe I misunderstood and she's not ready. Maybe he didn't hear me, bc he didn't quit. She ended up fighting like her life depended on it and it resulted in him hitting her and pressing his hoof knife into her any time she tried to move any which direction. He ended up only getting one hoof partially cut and left unfinished. He did the rest of my horses afterwards but they were extra reluctant.
I'm pretty upset by the way he treated her. She has marks all over her body from being hit and stabbed and pinched. Her back and shoulders are extremely sore, the muscles have lumps from relentlessly trying so hard to move away from him but then being ripped at and pulled around. She's feeling rough right now. I have made a couple attempts to clean out her hooves again and now she won't let me pick them up. I'm worried that I have to restart everything I did with her. I'm going to give her some time to relax and instead just do bodywork and massages for a while, then pretend we're back at square one, just to help bring back her confidence but I'm so worried that we actually are now set back 2yrs, bc if that's the case not only do I have to re-teach her but I also have to reverse the trauma and the effects of that day.
But now for a plot twist, I'm more upset about how I blatantly ignored my horses. Maybe it was bc I looked up to this guy so much, I'm not sure. But it's VERY unlike me to ignore their signs. All 3 horses AND my dog told me that there's something not right with this guy. The dog cowers around him and hides behind me. The other two horses that have been worked on by him before each time expressed severe anxiety when he'd show up for them, but I let it go bc they still stood for him just fine. They were jumpy, they'd move away from him sometimes, they would try hard to stand quietly for him but they were constantly flinching and jerking their heads up and just very clearly uncomfortable with being handled by him. He has never hurt them as far as I've seen, and I'm always intently watching him work bc I'm so fascinated by his skill.
I wholeheartedly blame myself. We wouldn't be in this situation if I would have listened to the other two horses and my dog. I didn't know what any of the things they were saying or doing meant, but what's worse is that I never tried to either. I saw it and for some reason never thought anything of it. I didn't think to try to understand their behaviour or literally anything, and it took Eclipse's situation now to realize what's actually been going on. I can easily compare it to being in a toxic relationship.
Everyone I've gone to about this has said "you're being dramatic, that's how the cowboys did it" or "that's what happens when you're too nice to your horses".
I can't stand knowing that I'm allowing someone who gets physically abusive upon becoming frustrated to work on my horses. I'm being as honest as I can be about what happened that day, what I saw in the horses, what I saw him doing, etc. It makes me sick to think about. Am I overreacting? What do I do about this?

At this point I am absolutely petrified of loosing my mind & everything else. I have never suffered with any MH issues in the past however the last 5 months have been awful. My mind simply wont shut off, it feels like my brain has been hijacked, everything I was, my personality has all been taken away leaving me in a state of constant fear, like my surroundings arnt real & everyone is living their lives around me. I feel so detached, I don’t feel present at all. When I say I haven’t slept, I am not exaggerating. There have been a couple of times where my body has entered a quick dream then bolted back up. But I haven’t had any regular or continuous deep sleep, its like my brain is stuck in hyperarousal. I feel so exhausted getting out of bed in its self is a massive challenge sometimes I am just led in bed for days at a time just with my eyes closed praying for some sort of relief/ recovery. I was so active before all of this, I would work most days & gym everyday. My days off would be busy & I would always like to keep myself occupied. Now I am the opposite. I am only 30 & this is so upsetting. What would you do in my situation? The doctors dont know what to do or say other than throw anti depressants at me, however I don’t feel depressed, I just need sleep.

Right now I live with my ex. Literally just signed the lease. We broke up two, going into three weeks ago because essentially he drinks and it's a big part of his life, I don't drink and I have ptsd around it. He never drank around me the first 4months of our relationship. By the last 6months we didn't go out on dates, just whatever boring parties (no offense to anyone who likes that I just don't <3 ). Recently I was like, hey I've come really far with this but I'll get better and then you keep wanting more and more from me. (He wanted me to go to an adult themed bar and I'm like seriously). 8 months in on New Years he brought up maybe wanting to possibly be poly and have an open relationship which I immediately shut down and said, figure yourself out I'm not doing that and if you need that, I'm not for you. He never got back to me about any of it.
Digressing. We broke up because I was tired of him just not knowing what he wanted. He also hasn't had a job for 10months. I'm renting a room in the apartment he's in, so it's thankfully separated finances. Made that mistake ex before him.
I just? Feel really upset? I knew something was up before I moved in and he said he "didn't want to upset me" so waited until after I moved in to figure out if he, quote "still wanted to be with me, and figure that out" which after a week I said, essentially, no this is over. How long did he want me to wait? He didn't know.
Anyways. I live with him now. It's still safe. But I'm so emotional. I'm doing ACOA, going to church, did OT at work weekends till they said no more of that right now. I'm joining some rescue/animal organizations to help but that's just weekends cause thier all 2hours round trip.
I guess I needed to vent. But any advice is helpful? I have to keep setting boundaries. First three days after the break up He kept hugging me which I told him to stop, unless he asks first. And he was originally all, you can come cuddle with me to which I laughed in his face and said no. He can't stand people being upset but 80% of why I'm upset is literally because I live there and feel trapped about it.
TLDR: Advice for living with ex when they have zero boundaries and seem fine.

[I shared this in girls and gays but wanted to share here as well for those of you not in that sub]
With Kendrick Lamar and Drake’s rap feud raging over the last month, I got curious about what their natal charts say about each of them as rappers, and how the astrological synastry between the two has fueled this chart-topping fight. Luckily we have an accurate birth time for both Drake and Kendrick, so we can see exactly how their charts overlap.
Here’s Drake’s chart:
And here’s Kendrick’s chart:
Inconjunct Suns
Kendrick has a Gemini sun, like many of hip hop’s greatest rappers, including Notorious B.I.G., Tupac, Lauryn Hill and Outkast’s Andre 3000. Geminis are well-suited to rap as the wordsmiths of the zodiac, one of the two signs ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication. Virgo, the other sign ruled by Mercury, expresses the analytical, practical, pragmatic side of the mind, the so-called “left brain” which sorts the wheat from the chaff (and, fittingly, Virgo season aligns with the harvest season of late summer).
Gemini expresses the more playful, self-expressive, hyper-curious “right brain” side of the mind - the monkey mind that swings from branch to branch, seeing connections as it goes. “Curious to a fault, Geminis have a finger in every pie. Solar Geminis are flexible and changeable people. Usually quite clever and witty, Geminis enjoy intellectual conversations and they are easily bored if they are not getting enough mental stimulation.”
Drake is a Scorpio sun, bringing a very different energy to the table. Scorpios seek power above all, and they live life intensely. If Gemini is the court jester, taking life lightly and poking fun at it all, Scorpio is the dark knight plotting and positioning himself for a coup. As one of the two signs ruled by Mars, the planet of war and competition, Scorpios don’t back down from competition, and as a fixed modality sign, they can struggle to let go–even of what hurts them. Scorpios are drawn to the darker sides of life - they know that secrets hold power, so they tend toward privacy, as shown in Drake’s last rap beef, when Pusha T revealed that he had secretly fathered a son with a porn star.
Gemini and Scorpio have a tricky inter-dynamic, with an aspect between them known as a quincunx, or an inconjunct. Quincunxes occur when planets are 150 degrees apart, and therefore share neither an element (water, fire, earth, or air) nor a modality (cardinal, fixed, or mutable). They are at odds in a very fundamental way, and though they can teach each other a lot, in order to get along they will have to make some serious adjustments.
“When these signs get together, they just can’t understand each other. They have almost nothing in common, so it’s hard to find common ground. When a quincunx shows up in a synastry or relationship reading, this can make for a tense or difficult relationship.” This natural repelling dynamic is expressed in Kendrick’s diss song Euphoria (“I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk/I hate the way that you dress/I hate the way you sneak diss, if I catch flight, it's gon' be direct”).
Drake’s ascendant is placed at 29 degrees Leo, exactly conjunct the royal fixed star Regulus. Regulus is one of the luckiest stars in the zodiac, and it is often seen in the charts of celebrities. “On the Ascendant, it will give a courageous and frank character. A splendid and illustrious life; glorious, mighty and commanding nature; fame, busy with many activities, bountiful resources, well known or feared in cities and regions.” But with Regulus on the ascendant, expanding the already narcissistic tendencies of Leo, there is a risk for an over-expansion of the ego and a lack of humility. Drake wants to be the best by all accounts - not just the biggest commercial superstar, which he is, but also the most critically acclaimed rapper, like Pulitzer Prize-winning Kendrick.
Mercury and Mars vs. Mercury and Venus
When it comes to analyzing writers of any sort, I like to look at their Mercuries, and here we see a fascinating contrast. Kendrick’s Mercury is located in intuitive, emotional Cancer (just like Lana del Rey, who I analyzed last week), and it is conjoined with Mars, the planet of war, which is what makes him such a formidable opponent in a rap battle. “Mercury conjunct Mars natal gives a quick mind, rapid reflexes, and a sharp tongue. These attributes are ideal for making quick decisions in the heat of the moment while others hesitate. Excellent debating skills allow you to stand up not only for yourself but for the rights of others. Your enthusiastic, direct and courageous way of expressing yourself can win admiration in politics, business, and the military.”
I think Mercury in combination with Mars is the ideal aspect for the competitive sport of rap, and interestingly enough, Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G., who famously feuded and are considered by many to be the all-time greatest rappers, both had these planets tightly combined (Tupac had Mercury trine Mars with a 1 degree orb, and Biggie had Mercury septile Mars with a 0 degree orb).
Drake, by contrast, has his Mercury conjoined with Mars’ planetary opposite, Venus. Mercury conjoined with creative Venus is a great aspect for a musician, but it lacks the teeth of competitive Mars. “Mercury conjunct Venus natal makes you a lovable, handsome, neat, refined, romantic, and courteous person. You may tend to be passive and submissive, but this is a means by which you achieve peace in your life. You can lovingly communicate things; a melodic, poetic, and relaxing voice often helps this. Mercury rules trade, and Venus rules money, so you could do well in business and enjoy buying and selling.”
Many of Drake’s biggest hits show this melodic Mercury-Venus aspect - like the no-rapping, all-singing “Hold On, We’re Going Home,” “Hotline Bling” and “One Dance,” or the purported feminist anthem “Nice for What.” Many think Drake is best as a pop star rather than a rapper, which Kendrick references in Euphoria (“I like Drake with the melodies, I don't like Drake when he act tough” “Keep makin' me dance, wavin' my hand and it won't be no threat”).
Mercury conjunct Venus should be a very positive aspect for Drake, and in many ways it is – as two of the planets that rule over money (Mercury the marketplace, and Venus the possessions), this aspect is part of why he’s had such incredible financial success. However, a few factors complicate it. For one thing, they are located together in Scorpio, ruled by Mars. His Mercury is expressed in a Venusian way, but it wants to be expressed in a Martian way. I think this is why Drake returns regularly to gangster rap despite his success in pop and R&B. He wants to be a Mercury-Mars rap powerhouse like Kendrick, Biggie, and Tupac, but he’s fundamentally different. From the beginning of his career he’s been taunted as soft, weak, feminine, privileged–all very Venusian adjectives.
Another complicating factor is that Drake’s Venus is doubly challenged - it is both in detriment in Scorpio, as well as retrograde. Venus is in detriment in Scorpio because it rules over Scorpio’s opposite, Taurus, and so the planet is not at ease in suspicious, jealous Scorpio. “Fears of being too vulnerable or of giving up their own power to others is strong. Scorpio is an “all or nothing” energy, and relationships tend to be somewhat of a rollercoaster ride as a result. Disdain for mediocrity and superficiality can compel them to create crises in order to feel alive and vital.”
Venus retrograde in the natal chart “suggests you have some difficulty in giving and receiving love and affection. You may experience sadness in love or have to endure hardship or delay. Natal Venus in retrograde can also show as excessive use of makeup and jewelry or even disfigurement from cosmetic surgery.” It’s interesting how some of the allegations against Drake in Kendrick’s songs have included a nose job and a Brazilian butt lift. After Drake told Metro Boomin to “shut up and make some drums” in his initial Kendrick diss Push Ups, the producer responded with “BBL Drizzy.”
Drake has never been married or had a public long-term relationship. His highest profile one with Rihanna was on-again, off-again, and at times seemed more like unrequited love than true commitment. When interviewed about the relationship, he said “As life takes shape and teaches you#Personal_life) your own lessons, I end up in this situation where I don't have the fairy tale [of] 'Drake started a family with Rihanna, [it's] so perfect.' It looks so good on paper [and] I wanted it too at one time.” Two years ago Drake had jeweler Alex Moss create a necklace worth $12.5 million dollars built from dozens of engagement rings he had made but never used: ““New piece titled ‘Previous Engagements’ for all the times he thought about it but never did it,” Moss wrote over a video showcasing the stunning necklace, which is made up of “42 engagement rings” totaling “351.38 carats in diamonds.”” It’s quite the testament to a challenged natal Venus.
Lilith Synastry
Here is Drake and Kendrick’s synastry (Drake is on the outer circle):
The most interesting thing I found digging into Drake and Kendrick’s charts was the presence of Lilith in their synastry. Lilith is an asteroid associated with the “angry woman” figure as well as female liberation. In some Jewish folklore Lilith was the first wife of Adam, but she was banished from the Garden of Eden for not obeying him and replaced with Eve.
“In the intricacies of a birth chart, Black Moon Lilith symbolizes the raw essence of femininity, the primal urges, and the suppressed parts of our psyche that lie in the shadows. This point, not a planet but a mathematical point, reveals where one might feel estranged, challenged, or empowered to go against the grain of societal norms. It unveils deep-seated desires, innate instincts, and perhaps the areas where one feels the need to challenge established roles or expectations. It's a place of power, mystique, and, occasionally, friction – pinpointing where one's true nature might clash with the conventional, leading to feelings of marginalization or rebellion.”
The allegations Drake and Kendrick threw at each other both had to do with mistreatment of women - Drake said that Kendrick abused his fiancée, and Kendrick said Drake was a pedophile who shouldn’t be trusted around young women.
Both Drake and Kendrick’s Liliths make tight aspects with the other’s chart. “Whenever Lilith is around, you can expect to feel a wild, intense, deep, and sometimes obsessive energy. If you have Lilith aspects in synastry then this energy will show up in your relationship. Whenever your Lilith touches one of your partner’s planets or vice-versa, you can expect to see your deepest fears revealed. You might also see glimpses of things you desire but can’t have. Ultimately, Lilith aspects in synastry give both partners a chance to work on their shadow sides.”
Kendrick’s sun exactly conjoins Drake’s Lilith at 26 degrees Gemini. “Often, the sun person [Kendrick] represents all that the Lilith person [Drake] wants but can never quite “catch.” There is an illusive vibe to this relationship. The Lilith person may feel somewhat less-than or “bad.” Lilith conjunct sun in synastry is a test for the Lilith person because their most taboo qualities such as obsession and anger will be activated, but it’s also a test for the sun person. The lesson is for the sun individual to stand their ground and follow their inner voice. Lilith is neither good nor bad, and the sun person can share in some of the Lilith partner’s activities without merging.”
This resonates with the fact that despite Drake’s huge commercial success, he is deeply jealous of Kendrick’s critical success. In Family Matters Drake took a jab at Kendrick’s acclaim (“Kendrick just opened his mouth, someone go hand him a Grammy right now”), and the beef between them played out similarly, with many rap fans deciding that Kendrick won before even listening to Drake. I think it’s obvious that Kendrick is a stronger rapper, but it’s also clear that Drake wasn’t given a fair shake.
Drake’s Lilith makes a tight trine to Kendrick’s Mercury. “Both the Lilith person and the Mercury person help each other to bring unhealed deeper wounds and unconscious emotion to the surface and articulate deeper, wild instincts. Mercury person [Kendrick] helps Lilith person [Drake] make sense of their inner restlessness and insecurities, sexual passions and unresolved rage. Mercury person may find Lilith person to be highly emotional but is also intrigued by Lilith person’s edgy and unique perspective.” It’s remarkable that both of their Liliths are interlocked with each other’s inner planets, creating a push-pull, love-hate, shadow-enlightening dynamic between the two.
I think the obsession goes both ways, and that part of the reason Kendrick fought back so viciously was because Drake triggers something in him shown through the Lilith synastry. Drake shows Kendrick what he could be–a charismatic playboy enjoying his fame and money to the fullest. And in engaging with the feud he stooped to a lower level, making unsupported claims about Drake’s supposed secret daughter, and writing a rap song (Meet the Grahams) addressed to Drake’s 5 year old son opening with “Dear Adonis, I’m sorry that man is your father.” All is fair in rap battles–or is it? Questlove called it out, saying on Instagram: “Nobody won the war. This wasn’t about skill. This was a wrestling match level mudslinging and takedown by any means necessary — women & children (& actual facts) be damned.”
Kendrick’s latest diss track Not Like Us has just debuted at number one on the Billboard Top 100, and it’s clear this battle has propelled him to another level of stardom. Drake’s Regulus ascendant arrogance and Scorpionic desire to fight to the death drove him to attack the strongest living rapper, and now he’s dealing with the fallout. Kendrick’s streams of his back catalog are up 50%, while Drake’s are down 5% and his reputation has taken a massive knock. But Kendrick has taken a hit as well. Having rap’s two biggest stars accusing each other of heinous crimes might drive up streams in the short run, but it’s a dangerous game. Astrology helps us understand why these two polar opposites are so intertwined, and why their mutual dislike has spurred on such a captivating firestorm.

I've been in an exclusive monogamous relationship with my boyfriend for about 2 months now.
I feel like on my end, I'm still learning how to trust him. I have a deep fear of being betrayed. I don't question his whereabouts or feel threatened by female friends or anything, it's just that we're working on building trust and sometimes I get a little nervous is all.
He on the other hand has consistently stated that he trusts me 1000%. He even said that if my neighbor said I was bringing other men up to my apartment behind my boyfriend's back, he wouldn't even believ the woman. Said he'd have to see me cheat before his own eyes to even believe that I'd cheated on him.
I just don't understand HOW it's possible to trust someone this much. How TF do you learn to trust when so many people cheat? I'm trustworthy but how can he trust me THAT much to say even if someone told him I'd cheated he wouldn't even believe them?
Yes I'm working on my insecurities. Yes I'm in therapy. Yes I know I simply need to trust that I'd be ok even if I got betrayed (I'm trying my best).
I just want to know have any of you learned to trust your partner? How in the world do you do that with cptsd???

I just started a new job 3 weeks ago in carpentry, when I got the job offer they told me my starting pay and that after a couple weeks they’d give me a raise based on my performance.
Today one of the bosses called me, and while what I’m doing I guess isn’t bad he said that after talking to the project leads there was two things. 1, too many smoke breaks. 2, not helping with deadlines ( just not pulling my weight or doing enough).
He was very polite and made it very clear it was just to help me and they want me to succeed with the company. I just feel like shit though, I’ll obviously work on those things 100% but starting in carpentry with no experience it’s so hard to even try and know how to help people, especially when they have me working with two more experienced guys who prefer to do it all themselves and I just do the grunt work which is understandable, it just puts me in a bad position where I can’t learn and they don’t wanna teach it with me.
I’ll try to be more hands on and such but it’s hard to even know when to start when you’re not completely sure of what to do. Hopefully starting tomorrow I’ll have a new outlook and do what I can.
It also doesn’t help the guys they asked are all buddy buddy so I’m the odd man out on job sites. I just feel very demoralized and upset.

[I shared this in girls and gays but wanted to share here as well for those of you not in that sub]
With Kendrick Lamar and Drake’s rap feud raging over the last month, I got curious about what their natal charts say about each of them as rappers, and how the astrological synastry between the two has fueled this chart-topping fight. Luckily we have an accurate birth time for both Drake and Kendrick, so we can see exactly how their charts overlap.
Here’s Drake’s chart:
And here’s Kendrick’s chart:
Inconjunct Suns
Kendrick has a Gemini sun, like many of hip hop’s greatest rappers, including Notorious B.I.G., Tupac, Lauryn Hill and Outkast’s Andre 3000. Geminis are well-suited to rap as the wordsmiths of the zodiac, one of the two signs ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication. Virgo, the other sign ruled by Mercury, expresses the analytical, practical, pragmatic side of the mind, the so-called “left brain” which sorts the wheat from the chaff (and, fittingly, Virgo season aligns with the harvest season of late summer).
Gemini expresses the more playful, self-expressive, hyper-curious “right brain” side of the mind - the monkey mind that swings from branch to branch, seeing connections as it goes. “Curious to a fault, Geminis have a finger in every pie. Solar Geminis are flexible and changeable people. Usually quite clever and witty, Geminis enjoy intellectual conversations and they are easily bored if they are not getting enough mental stimulation.”
Drake is a Scorpio sun, bringing a very different energy to the table. Scorpios seek power above all, and they live life intensely. If Gemini is the court jester, taking life lightly and poking fun at it all, Scorpio is the dark knight plotting and positioning himself for a coup. As one of the two signs ruled by Mars, the planet of war and competition, Scorpios don’t back down from competition, and as a fixed modality sign, they can struggle to let go–even of what hurts them. Scorpios are drawn to the darker sides of life - they know that secrets hold power, so they tend toward privacy, as shown in Drake’s last rap beef, when Pusha T revealed that he had secretly fathered a son with a porn star.
Gemini and Scorpio have a tricky inter-dynamic, with an aspect between them known as a quincunx, or an inconjunct. Quincunxes occur when planets are 150 degrees apart, and therefore share neither an element (water, fire, earth, or air) nor a modality (cardinal, fixed, or mutable). They are at odds in a very fundamental way, and though they can teach each other a lot, in order to get along they will have to make some serious adjustments.
“When these signs get together, they just can’t understand each other. They have almost nothing in common, so it’s hard to find common ground. When a quincunx shows up in a synastry or relationship reading, this can make for a tense or difficult relationship.” This natural repelling dynamic is expressed in Kendrick’s diss song Euphoria (“I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk/I hate the way that you dress/I hate the way you sneak diss, if I catch flight, it's gon' be direct”).
Drake’s ascendant is placed at 29 degrees Leo, exactly conjunct the royal fixed star Regulus. Regulus is one of the luckiest stars in the zodiac, and it is often seen in the charts of celebrities. “On the Ascendant, it will give a courageous and frank character. A splendid and illustrious life; glorious, mighty and commanding nature; fame, busy with many activities, bountiful resources, well known or feared in cities and regions.” But with Regulus on the ascendant, expanding the already narcissistic tendencies of Leo, there is a risk for an over-expansion of the ego and a lack of humility. Drake wants to be the best by all accounts - not just the biggest commercial superstar, which he is, but also the most critically acclaimed rapper, like Pulitzer Prize-winning Kendrick.
Mercury and Mars vs. Mercury and Venus
When it comes to analyzing writers of any sort, I like to look at their Mercuries, and here we see a fascinating contrast. Kendrick’s Mercury is located in intuitive, emotional Cancer (just like Lana del Rey, who I analyzed last week), and it is conjoined with Mars, the planet of war, which is what makes him such a formidable opponent in a rap battle. “Mercury conjunct Mars natal gives a quick mind, rapid reflexes, and a sharp tongue. These attributes are ideal for making quick decisions in the heat of the moment while others hesitate. Excellent debating skills allow you to stand up not only for yourself but for the rights of others. Your enthusiastic, direct and courageous way of expressing yourself can win admiration in politics, business, and the military.”
I think Mercury in combination with Mars is the ideal aspect for the competitive sport of rap, and interestingly enough, Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G., who famously feuded and are considered by many to be the all-time greatest rappers, both had these planets tightly combined (Tupac had Mercury trine Mars with a 1 degree orb, and Biggie had Mercury septile Mars with a 0 degree orb).
Drake, by contrast, has his Mercury conjoined with Mars’ planetary opposite, Venus. Mercury conjoined with creative Venus is a great aspect for a musician, but it lacks the teeth of competitive Mars. “Mercury conjunct Venus natal makes you a lovable, handsome, neat, refined, romantic, and courteous person. You may tend to be passive and submissive, but this is a means by which you achieve peace in your life. You can lovingly communicate things; a melodic, poetic, and relaxing voice often helps this. Mercury rules trade, and Venus rules money, so you could do well in business and enjoy buying and selling.”
Many of Drake’s biggest hits show this melodic Mercury-Venus aspect - like the no-rapping, all-singing “Hold On, We’re Going Home,” “Hotline Bling” and “One Dance,” or the purported feminist anthem “Nice for What.” Many think Drake is best as a pop star rather than a rapper, which Kendrick references in Euphoria (“I like Drake with the melodies, I don't like Drake when he act tough” “Keep makin' me dance, wavin' my hand and it won't be no threat”).
Mercury conjunct Venus should be a very positive aspect for Drake, and in many ways it is – as two of the planets that rule over money (Mercury the marketplace, and Venus the possessions), this aspect is part of why he’s had such incredible financial success. However, a few factors complicate it. For one thing, they are located together in Scorpio, ruled by Mars. His Mercury is expressed in a Venusian way, but it wants to be expressed in a Martian way. I think this is why Drake returns regularly to gangster rap despite his success in pop and R&B. He wants to be a Mercury-Mars rap powerhouse like Kendrick, Biggie, and Tupac, but he’s fundamentally different. From the beginning of his career he’s been taunted as soft, weak, feminine, privileged–all very Venusian adjectives.
Another complicating factor is that Drake’s Venus is doubly challenged - it is both in detriment in Scorpio, as well as retrograde. Venus is in detriment in Scorpio because it rules over Scorpio’s opposite, Taurus, and so the planet is not at ease in suspicious, jealous Scorpio. “Fears of being too vulnerable or of giving up their own power to others is strong. Scorpio is an “all or nothing” energy, and relationships tend to be somewhat of a rollercoaster ride as a result. Disdain for mediocrity and superficiality can compel them to create crises in order to feel alive and vital.”
Venus retrograde in the natal chart “suggests you have some difficulty in giving and receiving love and affection. You may experience sadness in love or have to endure hardship or delay. Natal Venus in retrograde can also show as excessive use of makeup and jewelry or even disfigurement from cosmetic surgery.” It’s interesting how some of the allegations against Drake in Kendrick’s songs have included a nose job and a Brazilian butt lift. After Drake told Metro Boomin to “shut up and make some drums” in his initial Kendrick diss Push Ups, the producer responded with “BBL Drizzy.”
Drake has never been married or had a public long-term relationship. His highest profile one with Rihanna was on-again, off-again, and at times seemed more like unrequited love than true commitment. When interviewed about the relationship, he said “As life takes shape and teaches you#Personal_life) your own lessons, I end up in this situation where I don't have the fairy tale [of] 'Drake started a family with Rihanna, [it's] so perfect.' It looks so good on paper [and] I wanted it too at one time.” Two years ago Drake had jeweler Alex Moss create a necklace worth $12.5 million dollars built from dozens of engagement rings he had made but never used: ““New piece titled ‘Previous Engagements’ for all the times he thought about it but never did it,” Moss wrote over a video showcasing the stunning necklace, which is made up of “42 engagement rings” totaling “351.38 carats in diamonds.”” It’s quite the testament to a challenged natal Venus.
Lilith Synastry
Here is Drake and Kendrick’s synastry (Drake is on the outer circle):
The most interesting thing I found digging into Drake and Kendrick’s charts was the presence of Lilith in their synastry. Lilith is an asteroid associated with the “angry woman” figure as well as female liberation. In some Jewish folklore Lilith was the first wife of Adam, but she was banished from the Garden of Eden for not obeying him and replaced with Eve.
“In the intricacies of a birth chart, Black Moon Lilith symbolizes the raw essence of femininity, the primal urges, and the suppressed parts of our psyche that lie in the shadows. This point, not a planet but a mathematical point, reveals where one might feel estranged, challenged, or empowered to go against the grain of societal norms. It unveils deep-seated desires, innate instincts, and perhaps the areas where one feels the need to challenge established roles or expectations. It's a place of power, mystique, and, occasionally, friction – pinpointing where one's true nature might clash with the conventional, leading to feelings of marginalization or rebellion.”
The allegations Drake and Kendrick threw at each other both had to do with mistreatment of women - Drake said that Kendrick abused his fiancée, and Kendrick said Drake was a pedophile who shouldn’t be trusted around young women.
Both Drake and Kendrick’s Liliths make tight aspects with the other’s chart. “Whenever Lilith is around, you can expect to feel a wild, intense, deep, and sometimes obsessive energy. If you have Lilith aspects in synastry then this energy will show up in your relationship. Whenever your Lilith touches one of your partner’s planets or vice-versa, you can expect to see your deepest fears revealed. You might also see glimpses of things you desire but can’t have. Ultimately, Lilith aspects in synastry give both partners a chance to work on their shadow sides.”
Kendrick’s sun exactly conjoins Drake’s Lilith at 26 degrees Gemini. “Often, the sun person [Kendrick] represents all that the Lilith person [Drake] wants but can never quite “catch.” There is an illusive vibe to this relationship. The Lilith person may feel somewhat less-than or “bad.” Lilith conjunct sun in synastry is a test for the Lilith person because their most taboo qualities such as obsession and anger will be activated, but it’s also a test for the sun person. The lesson is for the sun individual to stand their ground and follow their inner voice. Lilith is neither good nor bad, and the sun person can share in some of the Lilith partner’s activities without merging.”
This resonates with the fact that despite Drake’s huge commercial success, he is deeply jealous of Kendrick’s critical success. In Family Matters Drake took a jab at Kendrick’s acclaim (“Kendrick just opened his mouth, someone go hand him a Grammy right now”), and the beef between them played out similarly, with many rap fans deciding that Kendrick won before even listening to Drake. I think it’s obvious that Kendrick is a stronger rapper, but it’s also clear that Drake wasn’t given a fair shake.
Drake’s Lilith makes a tight trine to Kendrick’s Mercury. “Both the Lilith person and the Mercury person help each other to bring unhealed deeper wounds and unconscious emotion to the surface and articulate deeper, wild instincts. Mercury person [Kendrick] helps Lilith person [Drake] make sense of their inner restlessness and insecurities, sexual passions and unresolved rage. Mercury person may find Lilith person to be highly emotional but is also intrigued by Lilith person’s edgy and unique perspective.” It’s remarkable that both of their Liliths are interlocked with each other’s inner planets, creating a push-pull, love-hate, shadow-enlightening dynamic between the two.
I think the obsession goes both ways, and that part of the reason Kendrick fought back so viciously was because Drake triggers something in him shown through the Lilith synastry. Drake shows Kendrick what he could be–a charismatic playboy enjoying his fame and money to the fullest. And in engaging with the feud he stooped to a lower level, making unsupported claims about Drake’s supposed secret daughter, and writing a rap song (Meet the Grahams) addressed to Drake’s 5 year old son opening with “Dear Adonis, I’m sorry that man is your father.” All is fair in rap battles–or is it? Questlove called it out, saying on Instagram: “Nobody won the war. This wasn’t about skill. This was a wrestling match level mudslinging and takedown by any means necessary — women & children (& actual facts) be damned.”
Kendrick’s latest diss track Not Like Us has just debuted at number one on the Billboard Top 100, and it’s clear this battle has propelled him to another level of stardom. Drake’s Regulus ascendant arrogance and Scorpionic desire to fight to the death drove him to attack the strongest living rapper, and now he’s dealing with the fallout. Kendrick’s streams of his back catalog are up 50%, while Drake’s are down 5% and his reputation has taken a massive knock. But Kendrick has taken a hit as well. Having rap’s two biggest stars accusing each other of heinous crimes might drive up streams in the short run, but it’s a dangerous game. Astrology helps us understand why these two polar opposites are so intertwined, and why their mutual dislike has spurred on such a captivating firestorm.

Tarot Reader since 2017 who has fully mastered in depth readings to bring true insight to the energies and circumstances you are dealing with, with the use of Oracle and Astrology as well. Shaneka's Services And Contact Linktree
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I will try to make this shorter but I am angry. Also, just want to point out, we are not in the US. (33F; 36M)
We have had similar conversations before and every time I have gotten angry and felt further away from him. For starters, he does not have such negative views on the police as I do and when he sees a video or article about police violence or other negative thing they did, he acknowledges it but says stuff like "yeah, but that's in the US, their police is terrible". On the other hand I think solving murders and stuff is more of a pass-time for the police and their main purpose is to protect the people in power from the masses and also in the cases of domestic abuse, trafficking and SA, counting on them for help can actually make things worse.
Now to the point, I sent him a video of our country's police beating protestors who were protesting the genocide going on in Palestine. And he said stuff like "well, they can't protest in that spot", "they were not peaceful" (I doubt that) and "well, maybe the police are tired of dealing with all these people protesting all the time, climate rebels, Gaza rebels and what not". The conversation was long-ish but basically then he said there is not enough majority for this cause and I said the people who don't care suck and he replied "well too bad, that's democracy and the majority does not support the protests".
He doesn't support Israel's actions but when I said I think the region should be ruled by Palestine, with no apartheid, no camps, equality, etc. he said "ah, so you want women to be forced to stay home and for little girls to have their genitalia mutilated, because that's what happens in such religious extremism that Hamas represents". And like, are you fucking kidding me right now? The conversation continued in this way with me saying what Israel is doing is evil and him suggesting that Hamas are equally to blame and equally bad and under their rule, which apparently will be the case if Palestine "wins", women and children will also have it terrible.
This is the best relationship I've been in so far but I can't help the anger I feel when we "disagree" on things I consider so important. It almost feels like a betrayal. I know some people manage to change their partners. I know a girl who was a vegetarian and then her bf became one, then they broke up and her next bf was vegan, so she became vegan too. My best friend got her bf to love cats and so on. But I just don't have the energy to try and change someone's opinion honestly, plus, for some things I feel like it's not my job to do that. I just get so angry when this happens! And then he gets upset that I am upset. He seems to be totally fine that we "disagree" on some topics

This is the first time I have had a truly negative experience with inlaws (I’ve been lucky I know), And maybe im out of line somewhere but its been weighing heavy on me for a while now. Warning this is very long im sorry!
Me and my bf have been living together for a year now and our SIL and my bfs brother are neighours. When I first moved in I thought the dynamic would be so fun and we could all hangout together! My boyfriend however, was never crazy about the idea. Now I see why.
Anyway, time goes on and my bf and I wanted to go to a rodeo and I thought it would be fun to go us 4 (us and the BIL/SIL). So we invite them and they tag along. When we showed up we realized they had no beer tents or alcohol vendors there, ok that sucks but whatever we are here for the rodeo! Oh no, not my BIL. The whole time we are watching from the grand stands, it is non stop complaining about how much this sucks and that theres no booze. Finally, the main event is about to start and he decides we all need to leave because ‘this f*cking sucks!’. At this point im holding back tears because I was genuinely anticipating this event for weeks. The SIL was laughing off his behaviour and not saying anything and my bf was visibly annoyed. This was the cause of one of my boyfriend and I’s first real ‘fights’, although it wasn’t his fault; he did warn me. We didn’t have to invite them to this event but yet we did, and BIL ruined it. So that was my first red flag.
Red flag #2: Errands/favours. Every now and again they would text us and ask if we had extras of something they could use (cheese slices, water bottles, etc.) Which we are more than happy to help out once in a while! But it started becoming frequent. To the point where okay did you guys even bother to do a grocery, when they were both working in town that same day. My bf and I very rarely ask for anything as we are both very independent and organized, we usually have everything we need at the house or if not we make substitutions or do without. It was getting to the point where I couldn’t open their snapchats at the end of my shift because it was most likely them asking for us to pick up something for them. I lowkey (highkey) felt like an uber eats driver! On the other end, BIL who has a border line drinking problem always taking beers off my bf. Apparently it was much worse before I moved in but essentially BIL will ask us if we have any beers before hes finished his last one. It’s gotten to the point where he walks right into the house and opens our beer fridge to look for some (um wtf knock? this is OUR HOUSE not your kitchen also we could be naked like holy shit.) I feel like I almost have to hide my drink when I go outside because if he sees me with one he will want one. Also, both the BIL and SIL work in town, if they know they are running low they should stock up, constantly bumming stuff off us gets old really fast. My bf constantly asks his brother ‘you didnt buy yourself more?’ to which he usually replies ‘well i am out’ (what kind of answer is that lmao). And we live literally 5 minutes away from a store that sells beer, he could send his wife to get some more (but no she doesn’t want to leave the house). Needless to say, they make their poor planning and laziness OUR problem. At one point it got so bad one sunday morning his brother walked over and asked if we have cream for his coffee. We only had the starbucks flavoured creamer so we offered that and I kid you not he says ‘Ew why dont you have regular creamer i wont drink that!’ WHY DONT YOU HAVE CREAMER. Like the entitlement was insane, my bf told him to go get his own creamer and BIL huffed and puffed back to his house. After that incident they stopped for a while but as of now the beer bumming is still very much happening. Just yesterday he walked right in, asked my bf if he had any beers, he lied and said no. BIL walked to and opened our fridge and grabbed beers anyway ‘you do have beers’. Well dont you think if we said no we probably dont want you having them? The entitlement and absolute disrespect of our boundaries was evident. I feel so torn with this kind of thing because you don’t want to be rude and come off selfish by telling them no, but at the same time they are taking advantage of how close we live to each other and for them its convenient to keep doing it and I feel like its not our responsibility at a certain point. Additionally, if we did the same to them, they would not appreciate it. I also notice how my bf and I rarely ask for favours but when we do (ex. bf needs a ride to the garage), they are always conveniently busy. The whole situation is giving selfish.
Red flag #3: Disrespecting our stuff. Last summer my mom’s boyfriend had passed from cancer, and at the same time I was moving in to my bfs. She had given me their very nice blow up pool since she wont have any use for it but she didn’t want to get rid of it either because it was sentimental. We took it, blew it up in the yard and used it in the beginning of summer, it was awesome! My boyfriend had mentioned that his brother hated the way it looked in the yard and thought it looked trashy, (we share our yard but had it on our side). I thought oh well he can have his opinion but its our pool and we are allowed to have it, they also have a small pool they put on the deck for their dog so I didn’t understand the reasoning. Anyway, summer ends and I wasn’t paying much attention but the pool was out of the yard, I had assumed my bf had put it back in its box and in the shed for the winter. So spring comes along and Im walking in the backyard doing something and I notice a plastic blue thing behind the shed covered by sharp metal and wood and its really buried in there. I inspect it closer and I realize it’s the pool! Assuming it was my bf I called him upset asking why he would treat my stuff that way. He assured me it wasn’t him and that he thought that I had put it away for the winter. We both paused and knew right away what really happened. His brother had thrown it behind the shed and covered it. I was baffled at the fact that he had the audacity to take it upon himself to take something that didn’t belong to him and throw it behind the shed like garbage because he didn’t like it. If they had something on their side of the yard that I didn’t like that does NOT give me the right to get rid of it or destroy it! He could have asked us to put it away and even at that it still doesn’t give him the right to dispose of it. My bf confronted him about it and his exact words were ‘I dont give a f*ck.’ My bf has told me he has done this kind of thing before when my bf wanted to sell his budlight umbrella on market place and his brother took it upon himself to take the umbrella and burn it in the fire pit while my bf was on a work trip. I just can’t believe someone can be so inconsiderate and show no respect for another persons property.
Red flag #4: SIL is not self aware at all and has a guise of being a sweet, quiet person but her actions say different. First and foremost, she has a huge issue with the MIL, that is a whole other story but to say the least she has some valid issues with the MIL i will not deny. But, a lot of the things she detests about the MIL she is guilty of herself. In my opinion, they are very similar people and they don’t even realize it. She claims MIL has a huge issue with boundaries and always wants to be part of all the plans that they make. She argues the MIL dictates and controls the situation every time, even if its a plan they invited her to (keep that in mind later). She is right she does do that. It is a very valid thing to have an issue with but on the other end they always want to do stuff with us when we dont! In the past we do and the BIL never DD’s, always gets fucked up on booze or if there isn’t freaks out (the rodeo). The SIL excuses it thinks its cute or has an attitude of ‘aw boys will be boys’ ( drunks will behave like drunks). SIL always wants to be home early for her dog or to smoke weed or both, which is fine if she takes her own vehicle but when she doesn’t its quite a bummer for the rest of us who are having a good time and dont want to exactly leave right when the fun starts. This happens a lot at family events. When SIL wants to leave early she will usually pawn off her husband to us to drive him home, which is not pleasant most of the time when he is drinking because he gets incoherently drunk and argumentative. SIL also dislikes the fact that MIL is very performative and makes out her life to be perfect, and pretends the very real and ever going family issues don’t exist. She is partially right about that but seeing both perspectives I can honestly say SIL is just as if not more performative than MIL. The most obvious reason for her being this way is the fact that she is her husbands biggest enabler. If my bf acted the way BIL acted I would not continue the relationship, but if I did I believe your duty as a partner is to keep each other in check and grow together. Instead, she often laughs it off and has the sentiment that thats just who he is. If she wants to leave early she pretty much gives us no choice but to give him a ride and its hard to say no considering we are neighbours ‘you’ll drive him home right? i told him not to be rude this time!’ (He almost always is, and drunk or sober never says thankyou btw). SIL also does this thing that I never noticed before because it was so subtle and I am trying not to think the worst of people, but until my friends and coworkers confirmed it with me I realized it was rude. So at first, I was still getting to know SIL and I honestly thought she was super down to earth and level headed I felt like I could confide to her and truly build a friendship. To preface, my boyfriend and I have a very happy relationship, but we, just like every other couple, have disagreements from time to time. Unfortunately I chose to vent to her at first and she would always reply something along the lines of ‘my husband NEVER does that, we are so good at communicating’ or ‘My husband always likes when I do that :)’. And the first times I thought nothing of it but then it dawned on me that she wasn’t being helpful, she was just complimenting herself while also putting my relationship down. Once I noticed this, I didn’t stop noticing it. I told her once how I regretted making fun of someone in high school while I was young and dumb and she replied ‘Oh, I was always nice to everyone i met and tried to always be kind:)’. These little comments were belittling me and almost making me feel ashamed for being vulnerable and admitting fault. And it was all disguised as being nice. She will do the same thing with my bf. She will have no issue talking about his faults while in the same breath saying her husband is nothing like that and they do x y and z better. I always hold my tongue when realistically I shouldn’t. If I had the same energy towards her husband she wouldn’t be as calm as I am. The thing is I know my bfs faults and I will agree if you point them out, same goes for my own. But to use our faults against us when we confide in you and you boost yourselves up with it and disguise it as giving advice? Thats not right. Lastly, already touched on this a bit but inconveniencing favours. We ask her for a ride once in a blue moon like im talking twice or 3 times a year if that, and she’s miraculously busy. But she’ll ask us (more me because my bf doesn’t answer anymore and as of now I wont either) to pick her something up at the store after a 9 hour day at work, meanwhile she works from home and her husband works in a city where he could also do the same errand. The other day she asked my bf if I was sleeping (it was 6-7am), and my bf says yes she is. She proceeds to text me while i unfortunately forgot to turn my ringer off. Now I may have fault in this for even entertaining her but Im the type of person who opens snapchats right away, I am trying to get better at this now. So despite my bf telling her Im sleeping aka do not disturb me, she texts me to go bang on her windows because her husband forgot to set his alarm. I told her just one second I will put my pants on and get out of bed and do that for her right away. I should have told her that she interrupted my sleep and went against what my boyfriend told her but I can be bad with people pleasing so I did it anyway. She constantly tells the family she doesnt sleep well with her back pain but she had no problem with the idea of interrupting mine to wake her husband up. She also complains about people walking over her boundaries but she literally ignored my bf saying I was asleep and messaged me anyway.
I think the main problem here is that they have issues as neighbours and as family members respecting boundaries and privacy. I don’t know what else will solve these issues other than my bf really addressing it all or just plain and simple moving out, which is not what we want to do because we love our house and put so much work into it. I could also address it but I feel like they may not be as receptive to me as they would my bf. UGH sorry that was long

I’m feeling lost and looking for advice.
31f and in an 8 year relationship with partner 32m. Over time I feel like the beauty of our relationship was that I kept falling in love with him in a new way. We have an amazing life together and I love him very much. I’m worried I’m not in love any more. I don’t feel desired by him, or maybe I don’t desire him any more.
We are halfway through selling, and buying a house.
He wants a baby and I’m not sure whether I do. I’m finding it really hard to decide with the body clock time pressure and the irreversibility of the decision. As well as it being an unintentional ultimatum or our relationship.
I don’t know whether I’m cut out for a traditional relationship. I’ve always been bi-curious but I’ve never been with a woman. Again the decision to stay and have a baby feels all or nothing.
I’m finding myself romanticising non-traditional lifestyles and people on my life who embody these lifestyles. People with less traditional relationships: polyamory, people in long distance relationships.
In the past year or two I have become more happy and independent within my relationship than I ever have been. I took time to travel independently and develop new hobbies and forms of expression. I think my partner may have been unintentionally hurt by or not immediately understanding of the solo travel but he also came round to the idea. Normally in relationships I can be quite co-dependent and feel I am losing a part of myself.
I have a history of staying in relationships too long when I know they should end. I’m a serial monogamist.
I think he can tell I’m distant and he deserves to know what’s on my mind but I can’t begin to express it when I’m not even sure what’s going on myself.
I don’t know if I’m just having a panicked response to the level of commitment bringing a child into the world requires. I know we have something precious, we’ve built a life together over the past 8 years. Or if I really want to explore these new routes and possibilities; I don’t want to live with regret and not see myself reach my full potential/expression/identity/courage.
I feel distressed by this, there’s probably things I haven’t mentioned but any advice is really welcome. Thank you
TL:DR Don’t know whether to stay in committed relationship and have a baby or leave and follow a new path exploring my independence.

So l am very diligent with my skin care, and I am not particularly upset about anything other than the occasional breakout (... and a bad case of sebaceous filaments).
However, my biggest issue ever since I was about 13(im 21 now) has been an incredibly FLAKY T zone. Nose in particular. It's not just flaky, it peels. Im sorry for the image i have just given u. But it bothers me especially because it becomes so much more visible when I am wearing makeup It is never painful, unless my skin is as dry as sandpaper that day.
And you can obviously tell that it's DEAD skin. And although I do have a dru skin type, i really struggle with "black heads", or better labelled as sebaceous filaments. I've been suspecting seborrheic dermatitis for a while now but have never gone to a professional to actually confirm it.
My current routine is all directed towards hydration and moisturising. I have noticed that base makeup that includes harsh alcohols and fragrances aggravates it further. When I take my make up off with micellar water during the day, i need to apply some thin cream on top!
Otherwise its the sandpaper moment I know that, technically, one shouldn't leave micellar water on the face.
I have tried: -over exfoliating (obviously fail) - excluding exfoliating completely -Not washing my face in the mornings ( surprised to say: it got worse) -Slugging (only broke me out) -Only physically exfoliating -Only chemically exfoliating
My current routine has helped me minimise this issue on my forehead and chin, but alas, my nose persists. It currently goes like this:
• the inkey list oat oil cleanser (recent addition) • Eucerin DermaClean Hyaluron cleansing gel
• ONCE A WEEK 2% bha exfoliating liquid
• Q&A niacinamide toner • balea expert plump and glow serum (it has polyglutamic acid) • cosr snail essence (a fave, always come back to it)
• IN THE MORNING Q&A vitamic C serum
• la roche posay sensitive fluide • La roche posay Cicaplast Baume b5+
-* twice a week* Retinol at 0.4
And the obvious sunscreen every day! ♥️🥰
I know I should probably speak to a professional about this, but wanted to hear some thoughts and opinions.