First Reading - Acts 9:26-31
When Saul came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. 27 But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus. 28 So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord. 29 He talked and debated with the Hellenistic Jews,[a] but they tried to kill him. 30 When the believers learned of this, they took him down to Caesarea and sent him off to Tarsus.
31 Then the church throughout Judea, Galilee and Samaria enjoyed a time of peace and was strengthened. Living in the fear of the Lord and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, it increased in numbers.
Responsorial Psalm - Ps 22:26-27, 28, 30, 31-32
Second Reading - 1 Jn 3:18-24
Little children, let us not love in word or speech but in deed and in truth.
19 By this we shall know that we are of the truth, and reassure our hearts before him 20 whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. 21 Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God; 22 and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. 23 And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. 24 All who keep his commandments abide in him, and he in them. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit which he has given us.
Gospel - Jn 15:1-8
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch of mine that bears no fruit, he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already made clean by the word which I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If a man does not abide in me, he is cast forth as a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you will, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be my disciples.
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Beginning with the first reading today, I think we see striking resemblances to today's world. The first reading from the book of Acts this week tells how just after Saul's conversion to Christianity he was not well received (perhaps rightfully so). But what I think people tend to forget is that, at least for Catholics, we profess to believe in the forgiveness of sins every single week! Sure someone might have done some bad things and made some bad choices in the past, but they were done in the past! As Christians we are called not to dwell in the past, but in the present.
On a related note, I think it is worth talking about celebrity conversions. Particularly in light of the recent conversion of Candice Owens to Catholicism. I have seen some pretty nasty comments towards her regarding this, particularly from Protestants. As Christians, when someone converts, we should pray for them! Pray that their faith remains strong and that God may come into their heart and cast out any darkness that is there! When someone converts to Christianity, no matter how perfect that conversion is, Satan loses another soldier. Also, I will place money on the fact that if Candice had converted to Protestantism, it would be PRAISE THE LORD!!! Why is that? I thought it did not matter what branch of Christianity one was a part of so long as one believed in Jesus? Why the double standard? Again, for anyone that coverts to Christianity, instead of attacking them, pray for them!
This brings me to the second reading today from 1 John. "Let us love not in word or in speech, but in deed and in truth." There is a famous quote attributed to St. Francis of Assisi that says

"Preach the Gospel always, and when necessary, use words."

I recognize that this may actually be a misquote of St. Francis, but that is not the point. I think that this quote still has a lot of truth to it. There is a great hymn used in the Catholic Church (I am unsure if Protestants have it as well) called "They will Know We are Christians by Our Love." As Jesus tells us "Not all who says to me 'Lord, Lord!" will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who sent me." The Christian life is about not just professing that we believe in God, but actually living it! If you are attacking a celebrity for converting instead of praying for them, I have doubts that you actually have the Spirit of God and His gifts of grace inside of you.
As a final thought about the second reading, I have described the power of prayer of the saints in that the saints are in perfect unity with God. The holier we become, the more powerful our prayers are. John tells us that if we exist in God, God will answer all of our prayers and will not refuse us. Mary and the saints in Heaven exist perfectly in God. It is for this reason that, in the Memorare, Catholics pray

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided...

Mary takes our prayers to Jesus as her own in perfect unity with the will of God! Because of this, God will not refuse the prayers of the saints!
This is precisely what Jesus is talking about in the Gospel reading. If we are not bearing the fruits of the faith, we cannot be attached to the vine, instead we are cast out to wither and die. But if we do bear fruit, if we are attached to the vine, then God can trim away those imperfections to make us holy. That trimming is of no use to a branch that is cut off from Christ however. Trimming a dead branch still leaves it dead. How do we stay connected to the vine and bear fruit? By actually living the faith, just as John tells us in his epistle!!! Christianity is not just something that we do on Sunday. It has to be something that we do all day, every day.
To wrap up, I want to share some thoughts on Hell. We know that Lucifer (Satan) was originally a Seraphim, the highest order in the choirs of angels. The reason for Satan's rebellion ultimately boiled down to pride. Like a star that implodes to become a black-hole, the divine light that radiated from Lucifer imploded inwards creating a void, an emptiness in Satan like a black hole. I was listening to a dialogue with Peter Kreeft on Pints with Aquinas where he mentioned that he does not believe that there is fire in Hell. Fire generates light. God is light. So, rather, Dr. Kreeft posits that Hell is a total consumption by the self. We become totally and completely sucked into ourselves that we become our own sort of black hole. In some sense, I think I might agree. Fr. Mike Schmidz has always said that the path to Heaven is saying "Thy will be done." while the path to Hell is saying "My will be done." When we go to Hell, we get there by putting ourselves before others, and before God. We see this in the Holy Trinity as well, the Father totalling pouring Himself out to the Son and the Son totally pouring Himself out to the Father, and them both totally pouring themselves out to the Spirit. In Heaven, God totally and perfectly pours Himself into us as we do the same! I am not sure where it is originally from, but there is a great quote that says "To be is to be with." Humans are naturally made for one another. God is inherently relational (due to the eternal spiriations) and we are made in God's image, so we are by nature relational beings. I hope that this makes some degree of sense.
So let us pray:
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
O God, send down Your Spirit upon us, strengthen us so that we may more perfectly live out Your Most Holy Word. We also ask even more so, that you help those who have newly converted that they may have faith even stronger than our own. Amen.
Our response will be "Deliver Us, O Jesus"
From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being approved...
From the desire of being honored...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of being ridiculed...
From the fear of being wronged...
O Lord Jesus, we ask You to give us the wisdom to help others to have knowledge of You and the courage to make You known. You gave us Your Most Holy Church to be a city on a hill, so that the entire world may come to know You and Your glory through Your Church! We ask that you strengthen the members of your body to be able to faithfully continue building Your Kingdom here on Earth and to help us recognize ways that you have already strengthened us to carry out Your will.
God, the Father almighty... Hear and answer us.
O Lord Jesus... Hear and answer us.
Holy Spirit, Spirit of Truth... Hear and answer us.
Mary, Mother of God... Pray for us.
St. Michael the Archangel... Pray for us.
All the saints and angels in Heaven... Pray for us.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
​

The Gospel of Thomas is an interesting read. I read the Gospel to gain insights about Apostle Thomas and to understand Jesus's teachings from Thomas's view.
The composition of the Gospel of Thomas is unknown. Some scholars date the Gospel as early as 60 AD, and others proposed a later date 110 AD - 250 AD. The church considers the Gospel of Thomas as heretical, Gnostic.
I'm listing out some of my key observations from the Gospel.

1. Unlike the other canonical gospels, the Gospel of Thomas does not follow a narrative style and includes 114 sayings of Jesus called "logia".
   
2. The first logia start with Jesus said: "Whoever lives interpretation of these words will not taste death". If anyone loves mystery, then this first logia will drive you to read the entire book.
   
3. There are other instances of secret teachings mentioned in this book. Jesus says that he will reveal the mysteries to only those who are worthy. There is an element of mystery in this Gospel.
   
4. Jesus is portrayed as a teacher guiding his followers to become enlightened, to look within themselves to find him, to find God’s kingdom.
   
5. The Gospel doesn't talk about the birth of Jesus or the resurrection of Jesus or eternal sin.
   
6. Two female disciples Mary, Salome are mentioned in this Gospel, listening to Jesus's teachings.
   
7. The Kingdom of God is shown as residing inside and outside us, spread around this world.
   
8. Jesus asks everyone to continue to seek God, and when they get to know, they will first feel disturbed, then marvel and then they will reign over All.
   
9. Jesus advises his disciples to become like infants, be naked, be open; only then they will find the Kingdom of God.
   
10. Jesus says being a disciple is not easy. They will have to leave their families. His teachings will create divisions among people, among families. His followers will be near to fire.
    
11. Jesus says, Do not fast or pray or give alms without love because God will know that act is a lie as we are naked before heaven.
    
12. Many parables quoted in this Gospel are similar to the ones in the canonical gospels.
    
13. When the disciples ask who will guide them after Jesus leaves, Jesus says listen to James the Just.
    
14. Jesus sometimes equates the disciples as equal and advises against calling him "Master". At other times, he says they are like little children.
    
15. Jesus says everybody can become great even higher than John the Baptist if they become small (humble) and know the Kingdom.
    
16. Jesus shares some secret teaching to Thomas, which Thomas doesn't share with other disples, fearing they will stone him and the stone will turn to fire in return and consume them.
    
17. Jesus's teachings emphasize a lot on the soul, the need for the soul and body to become one, for the inner and outer to become one, for the male and female to become one. The reference to the male and female here is most likely the masculine and feminine characteristics.
    
18. Another key theme in the Gospel is the mention of Light. Jesus says, "I am the Light that shines on everyone. I am the All. ". This Light can be seen when a piece of wood is split or when you turn over a stone. The Light here could refer to God's presence. Jesus later says he dwells within the people of Light.
    
19. Jesus says to look within ourselves to find Jesus. When disciples ask Jesus, "when will be the day that you appear to us?". Jesus says, when you are naked as newborn infants, you will see the son of God.
    
20. When disciples ask about their end, Jesus says those who know the beginning will not taste death.
    
21. Jesus says, when people gain knowledge, they should share it with others. They should not become like the Pharisees and scribes, who received the keys of knowledge but did not go within, and those of you who wanted to go there, they prevented them.
    
22. When disciples ask, "Is circumcision useful or not?” and Jesus replies, " If it was useful, God would have created circumcised sons. Instead, it is the circumcision in the spirit that is truly useful.
    
23. Jesus asks everyone to build strong faith. Many parables are about building a solid foundation for faith.
    
24. Jesus stresses the importance of fasting and keeping the Sabbath (finding time for God) to reach God; if you do not fast, you will not find the Kingdom of God. If you do not celebrate the Sabbath, you will not find Father.
    
25. Many of Jesus's teachings is on being humble. Jesus says, 'People are intoxicated; they forget they came naked to the world and will leave naked to the world'.
    
26. Jesus says Blessed are the poor, people who have undergone ordeals, those who are hungry, those who are persecuted. Blessed are those who listen to the Word of the Father and truly follow it.
    
27. Jesus says Focus on the things that are everlasting and not materialistic things of this world. Saving the soul is essential, and not the body. When you want to give help/money, give it to someone who will never pay it back.
    
28. When disciples ask if they should pay Ceasar, he says, give to Ceasar what is his, give to God what is God's and give to me what is mine.
    
29. In the last logia, 114, Peter is shown as someone who doesn't like Mary because she is not worthy because she is a woman. Jesus says he will guide her so that she becomes a man. Here the reference of becoming a man could be masculine qualities like leadership, boldness, etc.
    

Gospel of Thomas brings a different perspective on Jesus teachings.
References:
Gospel of Thomas - Wikipedia
Gospel of Thomas by Jean-Yves Leloup

(If you know who Dias is, you probably have read Distortion Detective. If you don't, go and read it. Also includes LC and LoR spoilers, though I think you who clicked on this post should be already familiar with them) I don't know if I'm burning the kitchen with this but here's my reasonings: 1. In the Woods (The part which supports and rules out quite some theories) Here I quote Lion and Panther: Lion: "Ah~ If we’re being technical, what our master has planned apparently isn’t one of the City’s taboos. It’s just the kind of thing that… no one has ever dared to consider, you catch my drift?" Panther: "You managed to get a different head in so fast. Do people like you always come prepared?" From this, I deduce two traits that Pre-Limbus Dante would probably have: 1.1 High social status It was mentioned that Dante used to have a high calibewas sort of a bigwig, plus Vergilius somewhat views Dante as an equal (When he isn't angry) and Dias is definitely one who has influence in the city. Although we don't know what exactly she is, it is apparent that she's very, very rich and has great authority. Also, the fact that Dante doesn't carry a weapon should either mean they originally have special abilities and can fight without weapons, or they usually don't encounter fights, and I figure that Dias falls into the latter category. Panther's question of "Do people like you always come prepared?" could possibly imply that Dante was the kind of people that's reasonable to have a couple of survival equipment that cost a ton. The fact that the furries didn't capture Dante shows that Dante made their memories inaccessible, either by getting an expensive "lock" from J Corp, or maybe simply Dante's clockhead is immune to mental attack (Even Hong Lu can't do that, Dante must have an invaluable moonstone) , so I believe that Dante used to have a high social status. 1.2 Independent If Dante is a person with high status that belongs in some kind of organization, their disappearance would probably be discovered, and as someone with a high status there should be some investigation (It shouldn't be impossible to find a particular person in the city with all those technology) , but now we see nothing. Or maybe the organization knows what happened, but that's also not very possible since it would be hard to convince a organization that LCB and their higher-up establishes a contract that needs Dante to loss memory AND may put Dante in danger. Therefore, Dante should be some independent high status individual. However, I would rule out some possibilities here: ✗Color Fixer I don't think Dante would be a Color because 1. Don/Ryoshu would probably smell it out with their instincts 2. A Color should be able to get rid of the furries even if they're weakened/partial memory lost, since the power difference is exponential (like, weakened Sinners can still wield their weapons and kill one another at least) 3. Killing a Color wouldn't be something that "no one has ever dared to consider" since we know of the Vermillion Cross and the Roland bad ending in LoR, and also Argalia and Angelica... ✗The Head Although the Head also has astonishing efficiency (it took them the whole LC and LoR) , should Dante be a part of the Head, they would have some more roundabout speech in the woods, nor would Vergilius mention that Dante used to be only "sort of" a bigwig. ✗Lob. Corp. related For Ayin it's the same reason, the establisher of Lob. Corp. himself is definitely a bigwig (Not to mention that according to Carmen, Ayin is also in the Light) . The probability of being a manager of a fallen L Corp branch facility is also low because they either got buried (How could a manager without ego equipment break through the facility themselves?) or died because of depression (like the poor person in the concept incinerated Wonderlab) . Other important people are>! in the Outskirts, !!the Eyeball !!T Corp actually because of its tears!<) Narrowing down, this leaves us high grade lone fixers/workshop meisters (YuRia would instinctively feel bad about Faust's Hex Nail so not her) , distortions/evil human/non-city human (btw does a humanoid abno that's AI themed with human level intelligence break the Head's law?) , and also the rich. 2. Reason of Concealing Design-wise gloves and other things are used to reflect a person's personality eg it suits Sinclair being timid. (or they just don't want to have physical contact/ eg>! to show Gabriel's trauma is no longer Yesod's!<) But in this case, they're used to hide Dante's skin. (Poor Dante wearing so much clothes, must be hard to bear when it's hot eg facing Ardor Blossom Moth and other burn abnos) Dante's clothes are most likely to be provided by LCB due to the name Dante on it (Creepy that LCB knows their size of clothes) . Seeing the unique garments of each Sinner, we can know that the tailor behind LCB put a lot of thoughts in it (since everything is canon) , and a notable thing is that Dante and Sinclair are the only two sinners who has gloves. Gloves are provided for Dante by LCB──Why? It's not likely that sinners (Except Faust) would recognize Dante. Dante is usually being protected at the back, so the chance for an enemy to observe Dante's skin and recognize them at a close distance should also be low theoretically. (Seriously who could make the connection between a high-status individual you knew and an amnesiac with a clock-ticking head?) Vergilius probably already knew Dante's identity, and I don't think Dante has anything to do with Charon's past, so... I have a wild guess that the company is hiding Dante's identity from LCD: Ezra, Moses, etc. Since it seems that only the higher-ups of LCB actually know Dante's identity, (Judging by the attitude of LCCA in Canto3 and Caiman) and Ezra saying Dante really tick tocks like a clock using "They", so I guess the LCD doesn't know about Dante's past. Athough Moses and Ezra still listened to Dias the last time we saw them interact, after the events of Distortion Detective, I doubt that they would continue to be Dias' pawn (Although DD got cut, director Jihoon must have gotten some character realization arc for Moses/Ezra/Vespa,etc. up his sleeves prior to starting DD) . Therefore, they probably joined LCD of their own accord. This leads to a dilemma of either choosing Dias (money and power) or LCD (solving distortions) , so in order to get them both, Limbus company have to hide at least one of them to the other. Dias' skin color is not the most common among the high status individuals in the city (Her skin looks similar to Outis' but is probably much smoother since Dias has an extravagant life and seems not to age much. Dias didn't look like she's older than Moses but she is) . As someone who had known Dias for a long long time and were in so much pain because of her, Moses and Ezra probably had Dias' features carved in their mind. It shouldn't be hard for them to recognize Dias solely from hands or neck, and if this happened, LCD's reaction could cause Limbus Company's plans to fall apart, so it's reasonable for Limbus Company to cover Dante from head to toe, not letting an inch of skin to be seen. 3. PM things PM's not one who likes to throw main characters' important info out without any foreshadowing. Well for the other sinners we more or less know something from their source material, but among the main characters only Dante we know nothing about their past except they had a high status before (Other sinners at least have their description and CGs in TGS trailer, but for Dante we only know that their life wasn't going very well from the source material) . But even Roland slipped out tons of facts that a grade 9 fixer wouldn't know, along with the Pianist in the trailer, and the fact that his thing was quite directly related to WNDD which was caused by LC Angela... And so Dante should also have relations to the sequels in whatever way. But what do we have for Dante now? Demain and a to-be-drawn sheep, which is... more confusing than Binah maybe. So, I think PM would have some more foreshadowing that we didn't realise. Then where could that foreshadowing be? LC and LoR are pretty much ended with some people getting unbooked and releasing the Light, but I don't really think the Dante from Seven Association is LCB Dante since they said themselves the name "Dante" doesn't feel familiar. Iori is a Color, and nor do I think she will ask the furries to attack herself. Afterall, not many independent high status people were unbooked since the thing about invitations are that they cause ripple effect, from the Rats to ultimately Associations and more, so most guests have a relationship with one another here or there. Leviathan is written for Vergilius, and since Faust was there, it is hardly likely that Dante is the people that Vergilius has encountered. (Sadly Dante shouldn't be Garnet) Wonderlab was concept incinerated, so that leaves us with... Distortion Detective. What if, Jihoon stopped writing it indeed because they hope to make DD into a game and are busy developing LCB, but also because Jihoon realized that continuing DD will reveal one of the biggest mystery in LCB? 4. Mili We all know that Mili songs are composed of a ton information, so here are some lyrics of In Hell We Live, Lament: I walked down a path Leading to the past Stole from the tree's hands A regretter's friend -- the forbidden fruit Pretty sure that this part is about Dante. Here, the word "stole" implies that Dante is once again probably not Ayin himself, since Ayin was using Carmen's nervous system all along in LC. I bite off the skin Chewing on its tender flesh Quaff down its lukewarm pus You became the "me" who you despised We swallowed the time Let us rewind Not too sure, but this part should be either about all the Sinners or Dante themself. Either way, the "You became the 'me' who you despised" line in the middle could mean that Dante's past self won't like the way they're acting now (which is definitely something Dias would feel) 5. Dias and Limbus 5.1 Dias' Goal As shown in DD, Dias is probably someone who thinks anyone that is useless to her is trash and hate lowly beings. (She straight up ignored Vespa, only answering a “Mm.” apathetically because Moses asked her about Vespa) Her goal is to become the Head (and therefore helped LC takeover the old L Corp) and I believe that would be the reason why Dias would be interested in Limbus Company, but unfortunately ended up getting partially tricked by this shady company into becoming the manager. (Ya must be a coincidence that a bus went into the woods and picked up a random person) Limbus company could offer a dream-come-true opportunity if you sign the contract (At least that's what it seems to be) so maybe Dias first wanted to simply finance LCB, but in the end signed a contract instead so they could engrave the aspect (whatever that is) So, it would be reasonable to say that is why Dante would be so angry if they were Dias when they were almost killed by the furries, because she almost got closer to her goal of being the Head if she could finish engraving the aspect. Also, Dias would not be satisfied of being the higher-up of LCB. In order to become the Head HERSELF, she would want to and should need to have 100% control over everything (like she used to do with the Udjat) But now, LCB is not fully under her control (What if some sinners want to leave after fulfilling their wish? Like, Vergilius actually violated his contract) . Dias wouldn't allow this to happen, she wants nothing blocking her path. Since nothing happened, I can say that Dias isn't aware of this, and the reason to this lack of response could be because she became Dante. 5.2 Company Financing Limbus Company has plenty of capital and resources (They can afford to provide ammo for LCCB which consists of relatively disposable and weak units), so where did that money come from? Maybe Hong Lu's family was financing the company, but with realizations comes tragedies, aren't they afraid that what if one day they got involved and died? From Hong Lu's IDs we can know that his grandparents explicitly told him to work at places they want him to, (telling him "To see more of the City and learn how the world goes") but in LCB he didn't mention such a thing unlike his mirror world versions. Since his grandparents are very blatant with Hong Lu regarding their act of nepotism, I doubt that they would hide it to Hong Lu if they really were the financial source behind Limbus Company, so that shouldn't be the case. Also, Roland mentioned a "Jade" when he talked about the strongest fixers. This "Jade" could have relations to Hong Lu, thus it isn't impossible that the financial support comes from there. However, there could be a conflict of interest if another person with a near-Color level is also involved in Limbus Company aside from Vergilius, so that shouldn't be too probable. Honestly, it is completely reasonable for Dias to be the one who dared to finance a no-name company like Limbus, since she did the same thing before and financed Lob Corp in the Smoke War. A war requires astronomical amount of resources and capital, and they were fighting against an EXISTING Wing, which is probably quite rich considering it was the only energy supplier at that time. Yet still, Dias supported LC and they won. Dias probably did this because she thinks that releasing the Light can ultimately allow her to become the Head, but her plan was hijacked along with Ayin's because of LC Angela. Now with the Library releasing the Light, Dias could finally continue her plan. Limbus Company is a perfect opportunity so she seeks to involve in the company by backing up its finances, which led to an outcome that she didn't thought of. 6. Other Miscellaneous By the way, Dante's height is 176cm where Dias' is 171cm. That's close enough, and it makes sense that the few additional centimeters are because of the clockhead. What's more is that Dante and Dias both start with "D" (like whatever is going on with Carmen and Catherine) Conclusion: Indeed I could be wrong, but come on, really? Leaving poor Dias behind all these events? She had been waiting since the start of LC! It should be time for PM to give her some love and get her back on stage instead of pulling another new character out of mid-air... TLDR: Dante=Dias because -was probably rich/powerful -very different from current Dante -had some big goals -have something to do with the Light -LCD and Dias can't knowingly coexist -we're running out of characters to cope on And that's all for now, waiting for PM to drop more info in the upcoming chapters (PM fuel my brainrot plssss)

i (16f) was best friends with 3 others (16f,16f,16m) we will call one girl emma, the other girl ella and the boy james. I had found out james was moving to another school very soon and i wanted to hang out with our friends to say goodbye, james wanted to go on a train somewhere, which i then asked emma and ella if they wanted to come on the train, but accidentally left out information that it was with james but that didnt matter anyway because they said they didnt have enough money to, which i didnt judge them on and said thats okay. I went to an old childhood bestfriend (16F) we will call her molly and she was super excited to go, so i made a groupchat with molly and james. Molly didnt consult me or james before adding another friend (15F) we will name her ally, to the group, i went in private and told molly next time nicely to just make sure everyones okay with that. me and ally had a past that ended our friendship but were on okay terms. James started to try to exclude ally, which upset molly and molly is more important to me than james, so i decided i could make different plans with james and just decided to kick him from the group before any fights broke out and explain in dms. When i had done that, he beat me to dms talking about my attitude, and saying sarcastically how i was such a good friend to emma. i had asked what he meant and he started going on about how me not telling emma about the groupchat was “f*ked” and i said emma had their own reasons that they couldnt go and i didnt want to put her in a group where she has to explain that in front of everyone. i wasnt nice obviously, nor was he, calling me names and and just being horrible to me but i started to send screenshots to my best friend emma (constaining james calling me a btch saying i wasnt good enough for emma) hoping she would be confused as well, but i got left on read for an hour, with james screaming at me calling me names for not telling emma. I sent emma a text saying “youre on my side right?” because after all i felt like this was so silly and unprovoked as i shouldnt have to tell emma about my groups and didnt want to add emma for her sake as i had emmas best insterest in mind. instead i got a long message saying how it upset them and how i shouldve told them. i apologised and said i will do better but also said i dont have to tell them, as theyve had groups i didnt know about too and i said that i wish she couldve asked me about the groupchat and not james to avoid this whole thing. she sent a lot more and sorted it out but i got information that it ended up that emma and ella were both talking to james, ella was the one who put james against me in the first place and they were helping him reply to my messages and while i felt i had no one in my corner everyone was in his. it hurts because when emma had got into fights id always stand up for them and theyve never once stood up for me. rewind to after james had blocked me and emma and i were talking through it i didnt know that they were all texting eachother i had reached out to ella and asked her what was going on, to which she responded “i dont know you started all this sh*t, what is happening” which i didnt start anything at all. i felt betrayed because the people i trusted went against me so easily, and it isnt the first time emma hasnt stood up for me or has said something to someone that made them mad at me. me and emma have sorted it out but i just dont know if i can forgive completely. I talked ella down from yelling at me by just apologising because i felt hopeless and like no one was listening, so thats pretty much solved. its been 2 days and emma and ella are happier than ever. i know i should just suck it up but it makes me so upset and knowing itll likely happen again. i dont want to go through that alone. its so annoying because i would never let someone talk to ella and emma the way james and ella spoke to me and i never would have made emma feel alone like she did to me over and over again. we return to school in the morning and i dont know how to face them even though weve pretty much sorted it out. am i being the bad guy? and should i just suck it up? feel free to ask questions if it was confusing or anything.

Please be friendly, but be real. I'm really sensitive about this right now and don't quite know how to approach it or process it.
For context, I am 22F and my bf is 26M. My whole life I have been extremely poor, but still blessed to have a place to live even if we didn't eat very much or I didn't have clean and new clothes. My family survives even till this day we are dirt poor. I also have depression, social anxiety, and traits of borderline (things I'm working on alleviating and going to therapy for).
Currently, I am a graduate student and I still struggle to pay my bills because my pt never paid me on time and my former boss kept forgetting to do my timesheet. I struggled a lot with little to know support and my refund money went to bills. In the last 2 months of my semester I have been struggling a lot financial and am trying to look for other opportunities.
In the beginning, I HATED asking my bf for help. I was raised to never ask for help or beg, especially financially (I'm working on breaking this notion). It, evidently, affected my relationship with my bf and we conversed about it. He wants me to rely on him more and told me that if he can help he will help because he wants to help me like I help him (I build his resume, let him use some of my therapy sessions, help him find jobs, help him go back to school, cook for him when I get home sometimes, etc.). My bf also does not have a job nor does he go to school. His parents pay for everything for him so they live comfortably. Moreover, I told him my worry of him helping me that it might become overwhelming and that he can't afford to help me because he does not have a job. He did not like that and would not take no for an answer. So I agreed to let him assist me when I needed.
He helped me a ton and everytime he helped me, I paid him back nor more than two weeks. I always paid him back for his assistance.
Come yesterday, I told him like "oh, you should buy me food truck food" and he said, "I've been helping you out a lot financially". When he said that, it stung. I told him he could just say no and laughed it off and he said "ok, no". It stung a lot that he said that and I could not quote put my finger on how. Previous to this, I was telling him the night before that's he's helped me a lot financially "100% to 0%" I compared and he told me it was an exaggeration, so his statement yesterday confused me.
Hours later, after crying because the phrase just....stuck, I managed to talk to him. After talking to my friend who told me that what he said was insensitive, I agreed but also saw how it is genuinely how he feels. I talked to him and asked him if what I said yesterday he believed (if helping me is a lot), he said no. So I tried to explain how it might be a little insensitive on what he said. He did not see my point (which I did not argue further, I understood).
He then said, "Now that I think about it, it is a lot, so I will not help you as much anymore." And it stung more because of his conflicting beliefs. I apologized for relying on him so much and assured him I'll pay him back (he said I already did). I just pushed back and wanted to pay him back for everything (dates, staying at his house when my wasn't safe). I also told him I wouldn't stay in his house more than 3 days a week (he offered to let me stay 3 months because my home is not safe for me and his parents are ok with it because, as they said, they like me). He said ok. I told him that "if helping me now was a lot, then I can't imagine what letting me stay at your home would be like". He agreed, which again hurt because he offered and pushed it so hard.
After this, I apologized and told him I'll pay him back in the summer. We concluded the call and I cried and my contact with him has been limited since then because I am unsure how to process. I completely understand his perspective that helping me was a lot, but I warned him, told him not to cause he also doesn't have a job, but he insisted nonetheless, but despite me paying him back everytime, it's too much. I'm just confused.
How would you interpret what he said? What should I do?

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
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I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

Did anyone else find that both interactive introverts and now we're all doomed take inspiration from Bo Burnham shows. Some of these things are a bit pedantic but I wanted an exhaustive list that had these little reminders. This isn't to say Dan shouldn't be inspired ultimately all art is inspiration. But yeah didn't know if anyone thought the same thing?

• "Everything is fine" reminds me of "Welcome to the show" from what. Also there is an element of Bo talking to himself and so does Dan
• The end of "Everything is fine" is a tad like "We think we know you".
• The audience visibility is reminiscent of when Bo puts the lights on the audience in "Make Happy"
• Dan's joke about airplane food is like Bo's joke about hand dryers
• When Bo Burnham lists terrible things in "Welcome to the Internet" from Inside it's a bit like Dan's segment regarding Door 1 & 2 containing terrible things from the Internet. Dan even says "Welcome to the Internet".
• Dan parodies vloggers in the clips shown behind him which is like when Bo parodies reaction content in "Inside"
• at 37 mins 35 seconds Dan quotes "Art is Dead"
• The rant about capitalism does remind me of "That is how the World Works" by Bo Burnham
• He rants about Jeff Bezos similar to the "Jeff Bezos" song by Bo
• He peforms an acoustic version of "Everything is Fine" which is like when Bo performs an acoustic version of "Are you Happy?" at the end of "Make Happy"
• Dan sits down at the end for a "real chat" similar to the end of "Make Happy"
• When Dan talks about him spending ticket money on lights it is like Bo Burnham talking about wanting his name in lights in "Art is Dead".

To give you a context, I'm a physicist-programmer. I worked as a software engineer for a year on contract, which ended. This alumnus of my college contacted me, all excited because he'd seen my website and was happy to see that a person like me exists.
I also speak many languages and read many scripts, which was important for his software project.
He invited me to his office (he lives in a 3 story vertical house and one of the floors is his private office) to discuss ways in which I could work for him.
He's 71 years old, and retired. He's visibly rich.
After he spent a long time explaining his projects (I was not at all impressed, but money is money), he first had the audacity to suggest that I could work on them as a volunteer. Then he said he could give me stock options (his idea is 10 years too late, so I declined).
Then he said that he'd pay me the least amount it takes me to survive, I'm not even kidding. And then he quoted a number so low, even for part-time work, it pissed me off and hurt me at the same time. I didn't show any reaction.
Then he said he used to earn $300/hr back in the day, and I'm not kidding you but that's what he was offering me for a MONTH of part-time work, so for 80 hours. We are talking about software engineering, and while degrees shouldn't matter, I have a bachelor's and a master's from the most sought after college in India.
I hate capitalism, this class controls what gets made and what we work on. Even if he paid me well, I'd write the whole code and it would totally belong to him (unless I get some stock options from him, but then I'll have to buy the stocks later), and I'd have to give up ownership over what I produce simply because I need money for rent, food and travel.
End of rant. Thanks.
If you're wondering, I told him that I wouldn't accept less than double of what he's offering, and now I'm looking into other things. Basically I'm working on my own projects, research and commercial, need a part-time job to sustain myself.

Estelle: long ago on earth the humans and anthropomorphic animals lived in peace and harmony sometimes just like the real world not everyone gets along but that's not what I'm talking about today and since the 11th century onwards some animals began forming communities with some humans while domesticated and some wild animals began to live alongside humanity but when the 21st century came around a new evil plagued the lower 48 states known as muerte roja or the red death they've been known to stalk and kill any victim ranging from an anthropomorphic animal or human they don't care who they kill or hurt they're malevolent monsters Who do it for one thing profit which is one of the most fucked up things anyone would do killing a human or anthropomorphic animal for money there is a Japanese quote that reads "Hito ga kurai aku no michi o ayumunara, karera wa kuiaratameru koto ni narudarou" or if one goes down a dark path of evil they will come to rue One day a boy named Carlos got another boy named Willie jr killed causing a chain of events to unraval

Tesla gave me a quote for $393 for a diagnostic on 2022 model 3 LR to assess the wind/ road noise & ride quality / vibrations.
Should I go through with the appointment or is the money better spent on MPP shocks and some door trim from amazon?
Car is still under warranty, only 18k miles on it.

tldr; disabled uncle comes to my unit selling tissues, gets sarcastic/annoyed when I refused and now I’m kinda scared. have y’all experienced this before?
Y’all know those people who go door-to-door for sales/donation and stuff, usually I just refuse them and everything’s well but today an old man came by my unit and started speaking a mix of dialect + broken english + malay saying he’s disabled and selling tissues (that’s all I understood from the mishmash of languages he spoke). Idk how exactly he was disabled but his right hand seemed a bit bent and he spoke rather slow and walked strangely? He kept showing his bent hand and then he stuffed some tissue packets on the holes of my gate, asking us to buy them. Idk I had the feeling he wasn’t actually disabled but that’s just me being cynical, sorry if this is insensitive.
He kept rambling on and on (rather slowly) in a very loud and hoarse voice saying he is disabled and needs money, but I was just staring at him as I couldn’t understand most of his rambling and also because I had no opportunity to speak in between his yapping LOL. I tried telling him my parents aren’t home and I have no money (I genuinely didn’t as I go cashless now) but he just kept getting more insistent saying even $1 was enough.
At this point I was getting pretty scared that he would get violent or something, there was nobody else at home except my younger sibling and I was definitely smaller than him as someone who has the stature of a 15 year old girl (though I’m slightly older 😭)
I kept telling him I had no money and eventually he decided to give up and walk away. But not without very loudly exclaiming “God BLESS you for DONATING to a DISABLED person” and started stomping the ground for a few seconds as he moved on to the unit beside mine. Glad to see your sarcasm working perfectly fine at your old age sir, made me feel bad for sure! Bro was genuinely tweaking throwing tantrums n shi💀
Another instance was when a lady tried opening our front door at night but thankfully it was locked. Idk if she got the wrong house or what but it seemed like she had a bag of things with her possibly to sell? She went away after a few tries though. But it was pretty scary to hear the rattle of someone trying to open your front door at 10pm LOL.
I know some people have to resort to such methods to survive but I was just shaken by the whole ordeal today, especially since he had done this before a year or so ago and I’m afraid he’ll come again. Idk what I can do about this situation, my parents know he exist and my mom even gave him some money before smh (If I was there I would’ve told her not to give as they would just return) I just feel kinda unsafe now. Does reporting him even do anything since he’s not influcting harm or anything…?
Also I realised this post might get deleted as it’s not a weekend but idk, just wanted to rant and let my feeling out somehow. And also hear y’alls thoughts on this.

So I’m in Oklahoma and my roof has damage. It’s also 7 years old this year. I’m being told it needs replaced by my broker due to age even if it has no damage. Apparently it would be a good idea she says.
The issue here is that I don’t have the money for the deductible. My regular deductible, you know, what I’d pay if my whole house blew away in a Nader, is only a grand. Yet my roof is nearly $4k. That’s just stupid. My broker is supposed to have me new quotes today or tomorrow anyway though as it just renewed and went from $2030 last year to $2964 this year. Insanity.
Either way, my roof isn’t that bad. I could repair what’s bad myself for a couple hundred bucks. For less than $4k I could replace it myself.
If that is just how insurance is for a roof why would I ever bother with it in my position where I am capable of doing the work myself? What significance does 7 years have on a roof? And if that’s how much a deductible is going to be why would I care what insurance thinks of my roof if I would plan to do any repairs myself anyway?
Thank y’all. I appreciate any input

I Booked Ac Hub Ptd Ltd aircon service on April 5 at 11 am. They made me waited for a long time for almost half a day. they rescheduled to the next day and wasted my whole day. I asked to fix the fan coil problem and they quoted $50 the previous day during the inquiry. But in the end, they charged me $120. I asked the reason, they said that the offer ends the last day itself. So finally they made me wait purposely just for money. I'm very much disappointed with this company

I Booked 81 aircon service on March 25 at 11 am. They made me waited for a long time for almost half a day. they rescheduled to the next day and wasted my whole day. I asked to fix the fan coil problem and they quoted $50 the previous day during the inquiry. But in the end, they charged me $120. I asked the reason, they said that the offer ends the last day itself. So finally they made me wait purposely just for money. I'm very much disappointed with this company

Worlds most convoluted post title goes to... me!
Its very easy to be dismissive of people who are trying to help us. Thanks to the internet we are all experts in everything. No idea how to do a Bulgarian Split Squat? Five minutes on Youtube are you're an expert. Do you know how to do a Bulgarian Split Squat safely though, that's a different question and harder to learn.
When I used to go to gyms I would always pay careful attention if someone said "I think your form on xyz is a little off". Its easier to see someone doing something wrong than it is to realise you are doing it wrong yourself basically. Someone is trying to help you and doesn't want you to hurt yourself, in fact they want you to become better. Listen to them, don't dismiss them out of hand.
Of course these are the reasons with have coaches and trainers. Its not really to motivate you, its to keep you safe and injury free. Even then its easy to say "I know best".
My entire rugby team did this once. We had an excellent coach. He sat us down at the end of another mediocre season and said our main problem was physical fitness. We were strong and fast but lost so many games in the last quarter as we were exhausted. The coach said that if we all committed to getting fitter we would win. That mean far more fitness training than skill or strength training. We said yes as a team.
We trained all through the summer off season, a first for the club. When the new season started we were winning and were playing well up to the final whistle. We still carried on doing endurance training. 5 or 10k runs, burpees until someone was physically sick, the lot. No skills or strength/speed training. We won most of our games before Xmas. However we were fed up with running and burpees. We asked the coach to step down and got a new coach that just did tackle practice and weight training. Our endurance declined and we ended up loosing enough games before the end of the season that we had another mediocre season. Neglecting ball skills for a whole season didn't help either.
To my mind its the same when someone is trying to help you out mentally. Its easy to say "This person is talking bullshit, why do I even have to listen to them". That person could be a family member, friend, colleague, someone random internet stranger, a therapist or anyone. They have seen something in you that has given them concern and they are trying to help you. It might not be teaching you good form for a lift but the motivation is the same. They want you to be better.
Medical professionals are the equivalent of coaches and trainers here. You have asked them for help getting your mind back to "normal". Don't think "I know better than this person" or "They don't have my best interests at heart, they just want the money".
I did this myself too. I had a brief spell on a psych ward after a suicide attempt about 8 years ago. I was given DBT therapy on the ward and it continued after I was let out of the hospital. DBT (and CBT) is based on Stoic philosophy which I had been reading about a lot previously. I thought I knew more than the therapists running the sessions about how it all "worked". I would quote Marcus Aurelius at them and would basically be a know-all arsehole who ruined the group sessions for everyone. Guess what? I got nothing from the sessions.
Its really easy to be abusive towards people who are trying to help us too. Especially when we are not communicating face-to-face in places like this or elsewhere on line. Everyone is anonymous sitting behind a screen and that makes it easier to rant at someone who is trying to help. You might feel you are justified in abusing a total stranger and it might give your ego a little boost but that is as far as it goes. Plus you have made that person less likely to help anyone else again. Ask yourself if you would be prepared to argue with, yell at and abuse a total stranger who stopped to help you in the street? I really, really hope not.
Now when someone tries to help me I listen to what they have to say. I welcome it in fact. I keep an open mind. I try to learn from them anyone who wants to help me. That might be someone teaching me how to do a Bulgarian Split Squat or my therapist discussing how to deal with my family. Its the same at the end of the day as their motivation is the same.
Keeping an open mind and listening to people who try to help us is good in so many other situations. It helps us minimise and cope with our mental health problems. It helps us become a better person.

Hi guys, hope you are all having great , i am definitely not.
Last night i met a girl on dating site. i went on a date with her.
I clearly told, it is just a dinner date. you'll have to go back after this. she suggested to come to my place, for which i clearly said no. And i made it clear there won't be any financial transaction. It's a dinner date to get to know her.
We met and went to 2 restaurants (first one was bad), the total restaurant bill was 1.2Mil.
She asked me to cover the bill for her cab from Jimbaran to Seminayk. Bluebird. She said it was 350K and give some tips. So i paid the drive 450K.
Later in the night, she started texting me demanding money, long story short, she wanted $500 SGD for meeting me. When i clearly said, it's just a dinner date.
She threatned me with following

1. You are in my land, i can buy even vaccine certificate here.
2. I can compromise your hotel and get your data from there. (she knows my hotel, because that were the driver dropped)
3. Should i explain to you how bad it went when someone pissed me off?
4. You owe me money now, and you want me to come and collect it from you?(she shared her bank account details)
5. To save your life from me going further than this for seeking a revenge after a betrayal? (betrayal is i did not give her pocket money)
6. I'll wait till 1pm as thats the time where you'll have a little break
7. You literally could sort it by paying what you promise lol (i DID NOT promise her $500 SGD to have dinner with me, or any amount)
8. It seems like you're not just ignorant but also naive that you also don't seem to acknowledge about how authorities will prioritize siding with the locals
9. Another man gave me $500 without any difficulties like manipultion and gaslight like this
10. I literally gave you the easy option(paying the money)
11. I'm the best, that's why i can find your LinkedIn( she did not, she doesnt have my full name)
12. If i'm not the best i wouldn't know this ( she called my hotel and enquired about me on premise of picking me up)

So currently, i just blocked her and moved on and told my hotel to not share my info with anyone.

Any action or precautions should i take? i have her fake instagram recording(no comments, just pics, no friends), recording of her threating me on message
EDIT: (added) She has pics on instagram laying on bed with money. Travelling everywhere as she is flight attendant. Now she lost her job. And 6 days ago she posted a pic of herself with her fiance (white person). She is from Jakarta, but says she is "(Home)Bali / Singapore/ Dubai"
Edit: removed her narsisstic IG quotes.

Hey, this is my first post. I 18F am currently dating Hiza 19M
I met Hiza September 2022 on a trip. I, at the time was on a trip to see family and Hiza was the son of a close family friend which is how we met. I’m at the end of my wits with him and I want to break up with him but he’s got my mom wrapped around his finger. She had a hand in getting us together so she won’t let me break up with him. I’m going to give you a little backstory on our relationship and the things he’s done.
Anyways, in the first month of our relationship Hiza slowly started revealing his true personality, starting off with his anger issues and the way the smallest thing would have him ignoring my very existence for days. I just thought that the things i had done were severe enough to warrant such treatment so i just dealt with it. There was a time when he asked me to make noodles for him as a joke and I politely declined because you wouldnt catch me dead in their kitchen and he was genuinely so upset.
He also would constantly embarrass me for no reason even referring to me as a cockroach at some point because I didn’t defend him from my cousin while they fought? Like whyre you yelling at me for not defending you from a 13 y/o girl. Hed also get into fights w me constantly we couldnt go a week without fighting. At some point it was my birth week and i was in pain because of an abscess and i could barely walk, i couldnt even lie in bed in certain positions. I asked him to take me to the doctors and he said he would but that same night he called me an animal for not making the bed for him?? First of all we werent even meant to be sleeping there we were supposed to sleep in our room bc my uncle was coming the next day from Kenya but he didnt believe my mom when she said that and that room was cooler anyway so we liked it better in there but regardless. I stormed out the room and slept in our room and he didnt speak to me for days, mind you that happened about 3 days before my bday. Continuing the story i was in constant pain and since he wouldnt even speak to me, let alone take me to the doctors i went to my aunt’s(dad’s side) place a day before my bday. He knew i was in pain and that i couldnt even move but he didnt text me or call me at all except for a stupid “HBD” at midnight on my birthday which doesnt make up for anything. I got a small surgery in order to drain the abscess so i could exist in peace and he didnt even ask how I was. I was being injected w a needle twice a day and used to take like 20 pills and he didnt check up on me once.
While we were on ft with my mom, he told me to stop eating fat/ squishy foods and i asked if he was trying to starve me(joke). He ignored me for 3 days over that comment. He wouldnt even accept an apology no matter how much i begged.
We shared a room and whenever he got upset he'd sleep on the floor or leave the entire room to sleep on the balcony instead. We lived in a house with the rest of my family so that was extremely embarrassing.
My mother would send money every month for me to use for myself and my expenses. Hiza would take that money without my permission and waste it. Next thing is Hiza doesnt spend any time with me. Because of the fact that that i chose to date Hiza my entire extended family cut me off because (one of my other cousins apparently wanted him??)and i was basically an outcast in my own home.
He decided that he wanted to hang out with his friends. Bur he wouldnt come back until around 11-12pm and then be too tired to have any conversation with me(daily).
It gets even better though because he starts cheating on me on top of all of that. I caught him cheating on me three different times with multiple different girls at once one of those even being my cousin, but was naive and believed his promises to change. He even had the nerve once to blame me and said he was only cheating because i was already cheating on him. He also used MY money to buy one of those girls a present but he never buys me anything.
I also confided in him about my PTSD with older men and he had the nerve to laugh about it occasionally and ask me to continue telling the story. It gets even better because we had s*x once and he has the nerve to ask if im a virgin afterwards because i didnt make noises or anything and accused me of sleeping with other men before him.
He asked me to report this feminist acc whos post i reposted mind you we alrdy had an argument abt this but we alrdy had an argument abt this the day of or the day after because he’s an anti-feminist but anyways. After i asked why and he goes on a rant abt how feminists are evil and will lead me astray and how they’ll go to hell for demanding more rights than God gives them. He starts arguing that theres nth else a woman needs n such and whenever i tried to make a point bc he wanted me to explain my pov to him he keeps interrupting me and its tiring.
He kept going back to the fact that women wanted the right to do what they want w their bodies and i told him that its not the end of the world and that if he told a woman not to wear what she wants she wouldnt rly listen regardless and he said it might as well be the end of the world if women are doing this. I said that men have been raping women/children for years and it hasnt been the end of the world and bro says that it wasn’t all men doing it and i said men have been raping women for years and hes like that’s only 1 in a 100 btw we’re discussing america and i said its more like 3 in 10 and he said i was tweaking basically.
What makes this even worse is that he knows ive been raped/groomed before and he used to make jokes abt it so i got real pissed off and on so cos he was praying to god sarcastically to like make me smarter?? Something along those lines so i just told him i was tired and needed sleep.
He’s also recently taken to disrespecting my mom herself. Most recent case was him posting a story using a metaphor to sh*t talk my mom behind her back. But when confronted lied to my face even though he sent her a text saying that she deserved everything that was coming to her(whatever he meant by that)
Those are just a few of the things he’s done but I’m sick and tired of him to be quite frank.
I’m not allowed to break up with him, my mom tells me to give him time to change but honestly im tired and i dont want to be with Hiza so what should I do about it?

Hey y'all...so this has to be one of the craziest things that's ever happened to me. Buckle up cause it's a long one, but I promise it's worth it...sorry in advance lol.
It started in 2019 I (at the time 21F) met this dude (at the time 23M) on kik from the Netherlands, let's call him...asshole. So, me and asshole hit it off, we're vibing, we're flirting, all that shebang.
We decide to date online long distance (cause I still lived in America at the time) so we text every day and we call a lot and it's just sooo nice. He was really sweet and nice to me. Well, August of that year I went on a trip to Ireland and got SA'd while there we'd been dating for 3 months at this point. Once I got back home I finally worked up the nerve to tell him cause I legit had PTSD from that shit and when I did, he got mad at me. He accused me of cheating...I was like wtf?? So we broke up and went no contact and that was that.
Until
2020 it's lockdown....my diddly dumbass was lonely and bored and decided to text him! Like girl wtf was I thinkin? So I text him and he ends up apologizing for accusing me of cheating. He realized he was wrong and just like that, we went back to vibing and flirting. We're also making low key plans for me to visit him once lockdown is lifted too. After a few days of this I'm thinkin we're gonna get back together. But he says to me "I have something to tell you and you're gonna get mad at me".
And I'm like....ok? I didn't even know what to think like no clue what it could be (cause I'm dumb lol) And he goes "so I'm actually living with a girl who is (and I quote) officially my girlfriend". Oh man I was pissed and really hurt...like that fucking hypocrite!! So he goes on to explain they'd been dating for 2 Y E A R S!! If y'all want screenshots let me know lol. Anyway, so I'm dumb and was so in love and had no self esteem and thought he was the best I could get so I ask if he wants to leave her.
He was like yea but we have a house together and I recently lost my job because of the pandemic so it'd screw us both over if I left now. I should've run right then and there but nooooo.
So I was like "you want to leave her and be with me right? Like, you will right?" And he said yes, I want to be with you, I'll leave if I can, blah blah blah." After a couple weeks of us acting coupley, sexting, sending pics, flirting and shit I woke up one day and realized, he's never gonna leave her for me. Ever. So....I decided I have to find this girl and tell her cause this is bullshit.
Problem is...I know nothing about her and apparently barely anything about him. He wouldn't tell me her name or anything. And he told me back in 2019 that he doesn't have social media (I should've known that was a lie cause who doesn't at least have facebook?) So I have nothing except his first and last name (later I find out he lied about how his last name is spelled and he gave me his nickname instead of his actual first name!...bro is a pathological liar I s2g!) I tried looking for him on social media (obviously I didn't find him)
I would try to ask about her name, but like in a really chill way, obviously he wouldn't tell me. I got desperate and googled Netherlands chat sites, and got on one and legit asked each person if they knew asshole mcbuttface from Rotterdam...I knew it was a long shot but I had to try.
That ended in a flop (well not entirely but I'll get back to that later) So then I get real crafty. I decide that I'm gonna play an adult fun game with him. I ask a question, he answers it truthfully and he gets a "reward". So I made sure to write out all the questions, starting with super innocent ones and I put the really revealing ones later cause I figured he'd be thinking with his other head at that point so he'd answer anything I asked.
We didn't do this over video call, we texted and I sent videos doing the thing (that way I could write down his answers) I did a lot of shit I'm not proud of. But I got the answers I needed. So I went all FBI and I got the specific area he lived from him and I ended up finding roughly where his house is, I was hoping I could find her name somewhere with that but it was a bust.
I tried to use the other answers to find stuff but I got nothing. I then decide to confront him over one of the answers (his brother's name) cause I legit thought he lied, it didn't sound like a name a Dutch person would have. He told me it was the truth. It's a really weird name for someone in the Netherlands so I looked him up on Facebook and I FOUND THAT BITCH!
That's how I realized he gave me the wrong spelling of his last name. So through his brother I found asshole's page and through asshole's page I found her!!! It took me weeks to find her! I was so shooketh! I couldn't believe I actually did it! So I go and look through her profile for a bit and I see that a few days before we played that game he FUCKIN PROPOSED TO HER!!!
I literally screamed when I saw that...I was so pissed and upset that he did that to her..... So I take a shit ton of screenshots and send her a message basically telling her everything. And she responded like "omg thank you for telling me". Like she wasn't upset at me or anything and that made me so sad. We chit chatted a bit and she was telling me all this shit about how she heard he was only with her for her money and blah blah blah...and she asked me for a few more specific screenshots which I gladly sent.
Then she said that she was at work and would confront him when she was home. I was in full support mode and was like I'm here for you and I'm so sorry this happened. And she was in support mode and she said she was sorry it happened to me too. So we exchange numbers and start texting. Later she texted me saying that she was off work and she was almost home and I wished her luck. At that point I texted him saying something like bye bitch good luck and blocked him lol.
So then I waited to hear from her...I check an hour later and saw that she blocked my number....I was so confused. I genuinely wish I could know what he said to her cause y'all...she ended up staying with him and getting married.I saw the pics on Facebook lol but yea....she could do so much better like...idk how this gremlin lookin ass bitch pulled 2 girls cause he's ugly inside and out. Idk if they're still together. I haven't looked in on them since I saw the wedding pics.
So yea, that's my story...but I said I would come back to the chat site not being a complete flop. I met a dude on there and we became friends and he introduced me to a guy who is now my boyfriend of almost 4 years and I ended up moving to the Netherlands to be with him lolol....I'm nowhere near where asshole lives so I'll never run into him but yea thanks for reading!
TLDR: My ex told me he was cheating and I did a lot of crazy shit to find the other girl, found her, told her, and she stayed with him and got married. Also because of this I met my current bf.

I really loved fallout 4 on my first playthrough back on release but after that so now 8 years ago I think I never could finish a replay.
Most of the replay value from bethesda games for me is role playing a little bit more, but fallout 4 with having dialog options : yes, yes sarcastic, no but actually yes and yes but give me more money. + the whole find your son story makes it extremely hard to put roleplay thoughts into this game.
This year I'm gonna replay it finally with some mods to change the dialog and the story so it feels more like a bethesda game to me.
I was wondering what other people do in fallout 4 that makes them replay it alot when it's not roleplay or stuff like that ?

I think this will help clear a lot of confusion around the law as there is so many random stuffs being said in this community which is either leading to many "coaches" scamming a lot of people, or a bunch of narcissists blaming beginners for being human, that is "You manifested your problems, do not have emotions, or you are the problem."
The issue I believe to be the most persistent, is a lot of people discovers Neville later after discovering the Law of Attraction, which leads to a lot of confusion.
Note, I have been through trauma and bullying too, this is why I felt comfortable using examples in my explanations. But I decided I no longer want it to make a victim anymore(Living with a victim mentality).
Self-Observation
It signifies the phrase nothing to change but self. If one cannot discover the self to change, no such change can take place. That is, purely honest and constructive criticism about oneself. “Wanting a positive experience is a negative experience; accepting a negative experience is a positive experience.” - Alan Watts If one cannot accept their negative reactions to life, one cannot conjure to become more positive to life. As said by Neville, these reactions defines the individual’s state of consciousness. Let’s be honest here, lots of us are egoistic. But what exactly is ego? - Ego is a core belief about ourselves. It is the “I” in our brain. Ego is not necessarily the arrogance of one, a lot of us do have an ego that makes us seem weak and underconfident. For example: “I have been through trauma, so I cannot have a happy life. Or, I am ugly so I will never be able to attract a romantic partner in my life”. In short, ego prevents us from changing ourselves, and keeps use in a loop of actions that continuously affirms these believes we have about ourselves. I know we think we are deserving of everything, we are satisfied with ourselves, depending on our ego, and we ask why we hate the circumstances of our life. As said by Neville: “Man surrounds himself with the true image of himself”. In modern day, you might be familiar with the phrase: “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most with.” . This ego we have keeps us from truly changing. It prevents us from cultivating new beliefs, taking new actions, or learning new things. It keeps telling us that what if it does not work, what if we fail like we always did, what if what we are doing is just a waste of time; things along these lines…. Therefore, by self-observation, we are able to accept our imperfections, our mistakes, our feelings, our thoughts, our achievements we are so proud of… My best piece of advice to practice this fundamental is:
Definition of Aim
After self-observation, we must now formulate an aim. When people think of aim, they always do a mistake of thinking of the end goal as being separate of them. There are many teachers that have said: “We do not attract what we want, we attract what we are.” Using a few examples: “I want my driver’s license.” “I want $1 million.” “I want this person to love me.” Neville clearly stated in his lecture and I quote: **“Having discovered, through an uncritical observation of your reactions to life, a self that must be changed, you must now formulate an aim. That is, you must define the one you would like to be instead of the one you truly are in secret*.”*
That is, instead of saying things as you want them(your desires), become the person that attracts them: Using example as above: “I am a good driver, I know the traffic rules and I am confident in my driving skills.” “I am a rich person, I am capable of attracting more money” or “I am lucky to attract more money.” “I am the person that this person(SP) loves.” THESE ARE NOT AFFIRMATIONS, THESE ARE YOUR END GOALS.
There is another quote that I need to include that Neville said himself in his very first book At Your Command: “You do not command things to appear by your words or loud affirmations. Such vain repetition is more often than not confirmation of the opposite.”
Now the most important point, how do you define your aim? What is the intention behind the aim? That is, do you want to be rich because you want to experience a luxurious life, but nevertheless, you are still happy, or do you want to be rich because of your poverty, which makes you restless and sad about your life. There is no right or wrong reasons, but these intentions dictate how people reacts to their aims. For example, if your aim involves you already being happy, you are more likely to look at your goal of being rich with faithfulness and confidence. But if you are restless, your goal of being rich will seem unattainable or a chore to you. I do no mean that you should repress your emotions of being happy or sad, because each of us have different reasons. In fact, a lot of “gurus” encourage this behavior that you have to be happy 24/7. Repressing your emotions will likely do more harm to you. I am going to use my own example here: I want to achieve an aesthetic physique, but for a long long time, I wanted to do it for others. That is, I was bullied for being fat, by my own family and close friends. I wanted to lose the fat to impress my crush. I wanted to lose this ugly body because I hated the way I look. Consequently, I took drastic actions, I starved myself, was impatient and tried losing the fat as quickly as possible. As expected, I could not sustain it, and I gave up, and experienced near death. Then after a dark period of my life, I changed my intentions. It did not matter if I was bullied, it did not matter if my crush do not like me, it did not matter if I hated my body. I want to do it because I wanted health, and because I love myself. Then I started taking appropriate actions, and ignored those who made fun of me, because I knew that I AM the person that is healthy, and love himself. I knew that the moment I decided to take actions to improve my physique, is the moment I became that person whose desire had been fulfilled. This transformation took time, but it was worth it, through self care, love and discipline.
My best piece of advice to practice this fundamental - Journaling.
Detachment
Let’s make this clear, detachment is NOT ABOUT GIVING UP ON YOUR DESIRE.
The simplest way to put it, detachment is the process of making your desire no longer seem like a desire, its something you already have.
No need to put it on a pedestal, no need to downgrade it, just see it as it is.
As said by Neville, assume you already have it.
It is stated in the book that to practice detachment, we must separate ourselves from negative reactions to life, which is represented the most popular phrase, ignoring the 3D.
But this again brings the issue, people, especially beginners, cannot just master this practice from the get go.
Using my own example:
When I decided to achieve my desired physique, of course there were times I was made fun of, of course there were time I cried myself to sleep because of all of the bullying, of course I kept hoping that my close ones would accept me the way I am, and look past my body.
Yes, I wished that tomorrow I woke up in my dream physique. Yes, I wished my crush would like me the way I am. But it was hypocrisy. Why would she like me the way I am, when even I don’t like the way I am. Why would I wake up in my dream physique, when I am not taking proper actions to lose the fat.
As Neville said, nothing to change but self.
My advice to you, is practice detachment from negative reactions from your desires, not your life entirely.
The law is not “I snap my fingers and boom I have everything I desire now.”
Neville explicitly stated, the LAW OF LEAST ACTION, not the LAW OF NO ACTION.
I have not stated it yet, but the way I achieved my desire is, I did it at home. I never stepped foot in the gym. I never had the budget for dieting. I never had the time to prepare my own food. But I did what I can. I walked 10000 steps back and forth like a madman in my own house, despite being made fun of by my own family. I used a heavy backpack and a mat for exercise, despite not having proper equipment to target certain muscle group. I ate more healthy food, and cut down some that was bad for my fitness. I AM disciplined.
Discipline is the highest form of self love. There will be times that we have to step out of our comfort zones.
But just because we cannot engage in the “best ways” that leads to our desires, does not mean we should stay still.
There is a popular saying by Martin Luther King Jr: *“*If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
If there are no physical actions you can take to achieve your desire or some actions are way beyond your reach, at least visualize it, imagine it, feel it in your own wonderful imagination, but do what you can right now, and trust that you will have your desire in the 3D world no matter what.
My best piece of advice to practice this fundamental - Journaling.
Feeling is the secret
This I think should have been included in the lecture as fundamental, but I’ll try my best to explain it. The feeling is confidence / certainty / knowing. " When I speak of of feeling (feeling of wish fulfilled) I do not mean emotion, but the acceptance of the fact that it is fulfilled." - Neville Goddard Confidence that if I experienced it in my own wonderful human imagination, then I have faith that it will happen in my conscious reality - Mark 11:24 Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. . For this feeling to be true, you have to understand that the law is not magic, it’s a practice. As magic re-enforces ideas of being delusional for many. Reminder, there is no need to look for signs, there is no need to affirm, let the bridge of events/incidents unfold before you. There is no need to resist it. In your efforts to prove the law, you are in a place of doubt. The law exists no matter what you think of it. If you are daring enough to think about it(your desire), and you have the confidence that if it happened in my imagination, it will happen in my physical reality, nothing can stop you from reaching it. My best piece of advice to practice this fundamental:
To sum up the fundamentals:

• Self-observation:
  • Accept your imperfections.
• Define your aim:
  • Know what you want.
  • Know you intentions behind it so it does not dictate your actions.
• Detachment:
  • Stop trying to prove that the law exist every time you want to manifest something - This helped me a lot.
  • Its like an insult to the law, that is: If only this works, only then will I believe in the law.
• Feeling is the secret:
  • Have faith that if it already happened in your imagination, it will happen in your 3D reality.