Cigarettes and rebellion have always gone hand-in-hand, and in an age of cigarette packet-sized health warnings, now more than ever, smoking a fag says: 'I do not give a fuck.' But if Brandon Flowers is hoping to strike a seditious pose by sparking up at the start of the interview, it's not going according to plan. The Killers' frontman is on all fours rooting through the junk that carpets the anteroom at the band's rehearsal space. "Has anyone seen my lighter?" he asks, rocking back on his heels. The question hangs in the air while Brandon cocks his head, waiting for an answer like a meerkat listening for a predator. Twenty-five years old and with a delicate bone structure, there's something almost dainty about him. Receiving no response, he returns to his search. "Oh, Jeez," he sighs. "I had it just a minute ago."
It's a scene that emphatically does not suggest a rebel without a cause. The mess isn't helping. The Killers' HQ - an industrial unit sandwiched between a construction supplier and the offices of a housing development just off Dean Martin Drive in West Las Vegas - is ankle-deep in designer clothing. A Dior Homme suit lies crumpled by the door; there's a pile of shoes topped like a sundae by a pair of Marc Jacobs trainers; and anyone wishing to enter the shoebox room the band use as an office must negotiate a mountain of discarded jeans. Many items are identifiable as coming from the wardrobe of Hot Fuss, The Killers' hugely successful 2004 debut album - triple platinum in the UK with two weeks at Number One and five million sold worldwide. Look! There are the shirts, ties and suit jackets they wore when they thrilled Glastonbury 2005 with indie rock anthems Mr Brightside and Somebody Told Me. That was the crowning moment of a two-and-a-half year tour that finally concluded in October of last year. It seems that after playing that final date in Miami, they returned to Vegas and shrugged off their image onto the floor of this bland white box.
Now a fine layer of dust covers the dead clothes. The Killers have no further use for white tuxedos on their second album, Sam's Town. Today, Brandon wears a black polo shirt, black pin-stripe waistcoat, black jeans and black boots. Where there used to be a layer of foundation, there is now a beard - an untrimmed beard at that. Dave Keuning (30, guitar), Mark Stoermer (29, bass) and Ronnie Vannucci (29, drums) all echo Brandon's black ensemble. Ronnie has added Aviator shades and a handlebar moustache for a dash of motorcycle cop, Dave's frizzy bubble of hair gives him a Marc Bolan-ish air, and there's something very teenage about Mark's scuffed Vans.
Short of walking around wearing sandwich boards saying, "Our new record is a bit heavier than the last one," The Killers couldn't hope to communicate that message more effectively. And they have gained some musical girth on Sam's Town. The pop hooks that made Hot Fuss so irresistible survive intact - see the ringing guitar riffs on first single When You Were Young - but there's a newfound punchiness, coupled with an epic sweep. The minor-to-major uplifts on Bones are fabulously dramatic, the coda to Why Do I Keep Counting? thrillingly intense. Comparisons to Bruce Springsteen have been made. If they overstate the case a little, they are at leaset qualitatively accurate. The Killers are back and this time it's serious - they've got the bootlace ties to prove it.
"Hey, it says here that Springsteen's headlining Glastonbury next year," shouts Ronnie, who's flicking through the NME. He nods sagely at the page without looking up.
"Really?" asks Dave, nicknamed Crazy Dave on account of his alledgedly volatile nature.
"The Boss is headlining one night, we're playing second on the bill the next night and Kylie's headlining the Sunday," says Brandon, charging like a bull through Michael Eavis' as-yet-unannounced line-up with what subsequently proves to be a characteristic gaucheness.
But that lighter is proving elusive. This being America, none of the people hurrying to-and-fro prepping the world for the release of Sam's Town smokes. Manager Robert Reynolds - Bobby Rey to the band - barks into his mobile, booking his band onto eye-wateringly demanding tours. "We're going to make a lot of money," he cackles to himself before switching calls to make a series of stern pronouncements on legal matters. Dave, Mark and Ronnie disappear for a jam session. Artwork is approved, B-sides are decided on and schedules are hammered out.
"I can't find it," Brandon says, finally. But he's not going to be denied the opportunity to underline The Killers reinvention with a puff of smoke. "Let's go to the gas station. I'll have to buy one. It's too busy to talk here anyway."
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Brandon's black (of course) Volkswagen Touraeg four-wheel drive is barrelling down West Flamingo Road into town. "I was a bell boy there," he says, pointing out of the driver's window at the stucco facade of the Gold Coast casino. "I was working there when we were signed."
Coming from Las Vegas, it is perhaps inevitable that casinos play a big part in The Killers' story; not only is Sam's Town named after one, it was recorded in one, too.
The band began writing songs while on the road with Hot Fuss, turning up early for soundchecks to run through new ideas. On a trip home to Vegas, George Maloof, a hotelier known for cultivating famous friends, invited them to record the album in the new studio he'd built at The Palms, his flagship hotel-cum-gambling den. When the tour finished in October 2005, they returned to Vegas and spent five month finessing the songs they'd sketched out on the road. Then, in February, they decampled to the third floor studio at The Palms and recorded Sam's Town over 11 weeks.
Producer Flood (U2, Depeche Mode) encouraged them to experiment. They overdubbed, fiddled with synthesizers and played with new equipment. It took them five weeks to get the backing vocals right. The band sang the harmonies, then double-tracked them four times. The end result recalls Queen wondering, "Is this is the real life? Is this just fantasy?" When Ronnie, a trained classical percussionist, brought some kettledrums down, eyebrows were raised; but the fabulously bombastic coda on Why Do I Keep Counting? vindicates his indulgence.
"That's kind of the Ben Hur of the album," he says. He's not wrong. Sam's Town is a record on an epic scale. "Yeah, it has drama," he continues. "But, at the same time, I think it's a little more exposed than Hot Fuss. It's a little more naked. Last time it was about a lot of fictional things." By "fictional", Ronnie means that Hot Fuss wore its predominantly British influences for all to see. Brandon's taste in music is rabidly Anglophile - he constantly references The Smiths, The Cure and Joy Division - and it showed. By contrast, Sam's Town is an unequivocally American record. The lyrical imagery is pure American dream - cars, girls, wide-open spaces and escaping to a better life. "We're burning down the highway skyline/On the back of a hurricane that started turning/When you were young," sings Brandon on When You Were Young. That's the basis of the Springsteen comparisons then, though the lack of pathos more closely recalls another blue-collar rocker from New Jersey - Jon Bon Jovi.
The phrase "this town" recurs throughout the album, and it's always receding into the distance as The Killers escape to a new life. "This town was made for passing through/I never did get along with everybody else," sings Brandon on This River Is Wild. On Read My Mind he "never really gave up on breaking out of this two-star town", while on the title track he offers something of an explanation: "Nobody ever had a dream round here."
"With the first record, there was this feeling that there was this world out there that we didn't know," says Mark later in the day. Before The Killers, he studied philosophy: now he's their quiet one. "We wanted to get out and away from this and be somewhere else. We hadn't had a lot of experience - hadn't travelled much - then we were gone for three years. We didn't sit down and say that we wanted to make a record about how we're glad to be home, but that's what happened naturally."
It's not an angsty record. The Killers have already escaped with Hot Fuss, and, having done so, they view the experience fondly now they're back. There's a mistiness to Brandon's eyes as he explains how the album got it's name.
"Sam's Town is a casino on the edge of Vegas," he says. "I grew up in Henderson, which is out on the way to the Hoover Dam. My mom and dad lived in a trailer park, and my dad used to hitchhike up and down Boulder Highway, which is the only way you could get to Vegas. Sam's Town was the first thing you saw on your way in to town. So, when you're driving down Boulder Highway from Henderson, I always thought you finally knew you were getting somewhere when you saw Sam's Town. It was kind of like a beacon."
"It's not a completely American album," contines Brandon. "We still have our English influence, but we're also from the Wild West. Somehow we've managed to unify all that on this album. it's just such a perfect resemblence of what we are."
At the petrol station, Brandon rummages through the glove box looking for change to buy a lighter. "This is a great album," he says, pointing at Highway Companion, the latest from iconic American rocker Tom Petty. "I've always been a big fan of his. He's such a great American artist."
Yes, Brandon: we get the point.
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When Brandon finally lights his cigarette, he smokes it awkwardly, like a child mimicking something he's seen the grown-ups doing. However, when he cheerfully admits that, "I feel the same mentally as I did when I was 12," it's not a knowing nod to the fact that he sometimes behaves like a loveably precocious child, but a reference to an unusually comprehensive grounding in pop music at an early age.
When Brandon sings about "this town", he doesn't mean Las Vegas. He means Nephi, Utah or Henderson, Nevada, where he spent his childhood. His parents are Mormon and he is the youngest of six children. "I was a surprise," he says. "I've got a 42-year-old sister." If he was issues about his "surprise" status, he chooses to gloss over them. "It turned out perfect because my brother was a teenager when I was a kid," he says. "He would bring home things like Rattle And Hum by U2 and I would watch it. I remember he bought Live In Dallas by Morrissey. It was always him watching these things, or his door was shut and you'd hear The Head On The Door by The Cure blasting through the house and rattling the walls."
The Killers were formed when Brandon answered an advert Dave had placed in a local paper in late 2002. Dave cited Oasis as a big influence; Brandon had seen them play recently and responded; and, as Dave has said in previous interviews: "He was the only person to reply to my ad who wasn't a complete freak." However, the band was born in Brandon's brothers bedroom.
"His room was like a shrine," enthuses Brandon. "It was a holy place. I wish I could show you a picture of it. It was covered in posters. There'd be a big picture of Elvis wearing a bow tie that just said 'The Smiths' [the artwork for The Smiths 1987 single Shoplifters Of The World Unite]. You had The Cure wearing face paint [the artwork to The Cure's 1985 single In Between Days] - all that kind of stuff. I remember Morrissey being on the cover of the NME, with the halo [from 1985] - stuff like that. You just wanted to know about these people 'cause they were so cool. My brother seemed like such a cool person. But he was a teenager, so he wasn't going to be that nice to me, a kid."
Brandon was fascinated by his brother's collection of music, magazines and posters, but he was denied access to them - officially, at least. "I would sneak in," he says. "I knew he'd be angry if he found out, but I would go in as soon as he left the house." For a long time Brandon was too scared to actually play anything. "That didn't come 'til later. I just used to go in there because I liked it. Then I got to the point where I'd actually take a tape out and put it in. It took more guts to do that."
It was a life-changing moment. "I was ten and the first song I played was Sing Your Life by Morrissey. I remember dancing about to it."
The lyrics to Sing Your Life include the lines, "Sing your life/Just walk right up to the microphone/And name all the things that you love/All the things that you loathe." It's intriguing to wonder what Morrissey makes of the neophyte he inspired with these lines.
Eventually, Brandon inherited his brother's tape collection. "It was around the same time CDs started coming out in a big way. He started buying CDs and gave me his tapes. And that was it: it took off from there. I got a hundred of the best albums - all the New Order, all the Morrissey, all The Smiths, The Beatles. I started buying posters. I went to see The Cure in concert. It was just kind of a continuation of my brother. And it was nice because, though my parents were strict, they were already used to it from him. There was no, 'My dad doesn't understand me,' or any of that kind of stuff. My mum likes The Smiths."
Brandon was 13 and his favourite band was late-'70s/early-'80s American new wavers The Cars, and particularly their jaw-droppingly catchy 1979 single Just What I Needed.
"I wouldn't exist without that song," he says. "That was the one. I remember driving around with my mum when I was 13, and we're living in Nephi - a really small town - and I felt so cool when I put that song on. Like: 'I have something that none of these kids I'm going to middle school with tomorrow have.' That excitement is what music's about, isn't it? That's why I understand the mentality of people that don't like us because we've sold so many records. I used to like it when no one else knew about a band. So I get that - I do."
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Brandon's first band was called Blush Response. It was never going to work out. Not because he refused to move to Los Angeles with them, but because he is utterly - comically - shameless. He's given to making outrageously boastful statements like: "It's not like the '60s, '70s and '80s now. There are only a few bands around that are really good, that just do it. I mean, there's what, five or six of us?"
For the record, in Brandon's estimation, those bands are Franz Ferdinand, Razorlight, The Strokes, The White Stripes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and, of course, The Killers.
"I don't want people to think I'm lumping myself with other people just to make us sound cool," he says. Really? It sort of sounds like you are. But he just steamrolls through it. "Yeah, but you know what I mean," he says, grinning at his own cheekiness. He's so disgracefully forward you can't help but laugh along with him - Oh you are awful, Brandon! But joking aside, The Killers are the most commercially successful of all the bands he mentions.
Later, back at the rehearsal space, the band run through Sam's Town at deafening volume in preparation for the forthcoming tour - first the US, then the world. The infectious, almost contagious, chorus of When You Were Young sounds fabulous, as do the U2-like guitars and Twin Peaks synths of Read My Mind. Meanwhile, Smile Like You Mean It and Somebody Told Me benefit from the newfound harder edge.
They somewhat heavy-handedly underline the new direction by playing Paranoid by Black Sabbath and Get It On by T Rex. That's the thing: The Killers are not a subtle band. Their songs are like a wet kiss from a girl who's a bit too drunk. They are big and brash, and not everyone loves them for it. Mr Brightside and Somebody Told Me might go down as well at hip nightclubs as they do on the festival circuit, but the DJs play them with the same guilty look they wear when playing a pop record.
"I hate that," says Brandon. "Like writing a song you can hum somehow cheapens it? It makes me think of this quote by Morrissey. Everybody knows how he read Oscar Wilde, Keats and Yates when he was growing up and that he wanted to be a writer. He was talking to this journalist who asked why he hadn't become a writer, and Morrissey said: 'What I do is more powerful than what you do because I can write down these words and you get it to a melody. How can you beat that?' I'm of the same opinion. I don't understand why a good melody that's memorable is a bad thing."
Being dismissed as pop particular aggrieves Ronnie. "When we first came out we got compared to Duran Duran all the time. Jesus Christ! We got a keyboard player now all of a sudden he's Nick Rhodes! Come on!"
"The people who criticise us for being too poppy don't get it," agrees Mark. "I think that's the problem with a lot of rock music. People are afraid to write a song any more. Either that or they can't. And that attitude hurts music in general. The best bands ever have all written great songs. You can still do it and do it intelligently and it can be original. This isn't a studio creation with a producer writing these songs for us. We're not Avril Lavigne, or something like that. We're a real band writing real songs, just like a punk band would do, except that we write pop songs."
You get the impression that The Killers knack for showboating pop hooks that border on vulgar is inextricably tied up with the brazen side of Brandon's personality. But while his ebullient charisma, not to mention the songs themselves, mitigates his outrageousness, there is a less attractive side to his ego. He has a combative streak. He can't resist taking pot shots at emo bands, notably Fall Out Boy, whith whom The Killers share an A&R man.
Has he heard how many emo kids it takes to change a light bulb? "No." None. They just sit in the dark and cry. It's a full 30 seconds before he stops laughing. When he does he admits: "Yeah, we've had problems with other bands. You know, when you walk in the room it's like..." He whistles the theme to The Good, The Bad And The Ugly. "We're like gangs."
And while the other members of the band are diplomatic on the subject of Brandon, you don't have to read too deeply between the lines to conclude that there have been internal issues, too.
"Some people will think Brandon's the big genius," says Dave, visibly bridling. "There are songs, such as Why Do I Keep Counting?, where he's written every note. But there are others, like When You Were Young, that were more of a collaboration - like Mr Brightside, where I had some of the music and Brandon came up with the lyrics. We always have arguments about who wrote what. The truth is that we all help in that process."
When asked how success affected them, Ronnie says: "There were certain things that needed adjusting. When you're on tour for two years, people can get a little needy. It doesn't help that you're surrounded by yes men and everybody's working for you. At times we've had to say, 'Who do you think you are?' to people. No one wears the trousers, but some people would like to. I think if it wasn't for the people in the band kicking each other in the ass... Let's just say there was some ass-kickin'."
It doesn't take a genius to work out whose ass needed kicking most often.
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It's the following day and The Killers are back at their rehearsal space. The topic of discussion is what to wear in the video for Bones, the second single. It's a big deal: the director is Tim Burton. "I feel like Frank Sinatra when I sing it," announces Brandon. "With maybe a little bit of Morrissey and a little bit of Elvis, too."
Of course he does. But if securing the services of Tim Burton tells you one thing, it's that The Killers are about to get even bigger, perhaps even make the leap to the same level as Coldplay et al. Already stars, they are about to become superstars. Brandon can hardly wait.
"Do you know that Rolling Stone didn't want to put us on the cover last time," he says indignantly. "They didn't think we were stars. We sold five million albums! What more do they want from a band?"
Whatever was required, Brandon would be happy to do most things. "I'll do stuff that some people don't want to do, 'cause I want people to hear the music," he says. However, even he has limits. "The Rolling Stone thing made the record label think: 'What can we do to make them stars?' If I go on vacation with my wife, do they have to send somebody to be there to take pictures of me? Is that how you become a star? I don't want that. I walked down the red carpet one time and I realised I don't like it. But you don't have to walk down the red carpet for people to hear your music. We do still have some of that indie blood running through our veins."
He heads off at a tangent: "When you walk around Liverpool, you think of The Beatles, or you go to Manchester and you think of The Smiths or Oasis. I want you to come to Las Vegas and think of Sam's Town. And I think we've started to capture that, which is a truer version of The Killers, 'cause that's where we're from."
He pauses.
"I used to live across the street from Sam's Town. Maybe it'll be like our Abbey Road where people go to take pictures."
Is that what he'd like?
"I wouldn't mind it," he says, desperately hoping it will come true.
He puts a cigarette between his lips, looks down at his trouser pockets and pats them in search of the lighter he bought yesterday.
"Hey, I don't suppose you've got one?"

As the title says, due to me deciding to go NC with my abusive NDad, my mom told me "I hope in 30 years he (my son) decides you weren’t a good enough mom and cuts you out of his life" due to her saying now she cannot be in my life cause she has to choose sides and chooses my fathers. I feel my story is like so many others - the last straw came from an incident that happened on Christmas Eve. I decided after that I no longer wanted my NDad in my life as I will not subject my son to intergenerational abuse. His response was a to-the-tee NDad response gaslighting me, calling me names, taking no accountability, all the norm. I tried to keep a relationship with my mom but it felt strained/awkward since.
Fast forward to three weeks ago, even though I have made clear I want NC with my NDad, my NMom asks if she and him can come up to the house to see my son. I then had to lay it out again but this time as clear as possible I want no contact with him. No response..shocker. I followed up a few days later asking her if she wanted to talk more about it, she said nothing just she was busy at work which is why she didn't reply or call me back which has never happened with her. I then asked her if she would like to meet us at a park for Mother's Day, to which she replied "that sounds nice as long as your father can come and see (sons name) too". At this point, I felt like there was a clear message being sent so I explained again why I am standing firm in my boundary and that this whole situation has not only brought back to the surface my own experiences with my NDad but my sisters/hers as well + the realization of how much abuse we have swept under the rug.
She then proceeded to send a text that she would give anything to see her mom on Mother's Day and since they are alive I should make the effort. Since I am not, she will no longer be in my life, and then proceeded to say quote above. Honestly, I feel I needed to write this out so I can continue to process what has happened (anyone reading this, thank you). I think the part that gets to me the most is the "I hope"...I feel like all I have been doing since Christmas is telling them the pain and toxicity they add to my life while they both do nothing but gaslight me and still right in front of our faces show that toxicity and abuse. I am now almost one week full NC with my family. I know eventually I won't think about it as the life I am creating with my husband and son is one I have always dreamed of. I will no longer have anxiety about when they will reach out and ask to see my son or having to meet expectations for birthdays or holidays. I know it will feel lighter and behind me soon, it just feels a little heavy right now.

My living situation is something equivocal to a telenovela. I live with my ex, and two other roommates. One of them is MIA because I called her out on not showering for WEEKS on end, making a mess everywhere, making the house smell bad, sleeping on the couch and making that also reek of BO. She has left dirty underwear on the couch and the list goes on, but thankfully she is gone.
My ex is now my best friend and we get along really well now. I am seeing someone else and he is totally cool with it - they get along really well and it’s really cool.
My MAIN issue for this post is this roommate who is a COMPLETE thorn in my side. My ex and I are both at Witt’s end with him. He lies about EVERYTHING. He lies about things that don’t matter at all. He lies so often that they don’t match up with the lies he has told other people. He is always about himself and is beyond selfish. His cat needed surgery and the first thing he did when he walked into the pet ER after seeing the initial quote was “I cannot afford that, let’s take him and go home” this was after hours of me literally nurturing this poor kitten as much as I could. The veterinary staff was explaining to him all of the financial options and that there are resources out there to help cover costs. He kept cutting the staff off with his nonsense. Eventually my ex and I had to convince him to fill out an application for discounted services. The application was estimated to take about 45 minutes and all he did the entire time was sigh and complain about how “hard it was” and “he is stressed” which was beyond irritating. Moreover, the kitten got surgery and is doing very well now! I ended up doing most of the medication administration and aftercare. Which I only did because it was an animal in need and I am not a monster.
His sister got a major surgery - he didn’t check in on her. He did, however, call her and ask for a ride the day after her procedure. Their brother flew in from across the country to assist in the care of their sister and he hadn’t made an effort to see him for over a month.
He eats all the food. Literally all of it. Anything that I get for food I have to hide in my room because otherwise he’ll get too stoned and eat it all. He also expects me or another roommate to cook for him. He doesn’t directly say it, but insinuates it with his words.
He has sexually assaulted myself and another roommate while he was extremely intoxicated and claims to have no recollection of it. He is very creepy with girls and says things that are very disturbing. He says borderline homophobic, racist and misogynistic comments regularly. I also am starting to believe that he may be a bit of a pædophile with some of his comments about the age of consent being lowered.
He thinks he has his family to support him.
I have been in contact with his siblings and mother. Yes, I am his roommate and I acquired the numbers of his family from them. They reached out to me and provided me their information when we first moved in together - which I should have seen that red flag immediately. He has sexually assaulted his sister’s partner in front of the entire family because he was too drunk with the premise of “you really want a man and I look like my sister, so you want me” so, clearly he cannot stay with them. His brother has had it with him and loves him from a distance - so to speak. Their mother moved into a 55+ community to ensure that he can’t stay with her. She is a mom and well, loves her son, but is also fed up. He has done some VERY questionable acts in the past. Things including taking medication from seniors in a senior living facility and selling them / taking them to get high, drinking and driving regularly - to the point where he got in a car accident (which the story about that changed like 5x as well) without car insurance and had to pay for it all out of pocket just to get drunk a few days after getting his car repaired and drove home. He has also struggled with addiction most of his life. Normally I would be understanding of that, however, he takes no accountability nor does he even think that anything is wrong - he’ll acknowledge his addictions, but sees nothing wrong with it. He can’t deal with life sober at all.
He lies about everything. It’s so often that it’s hard to tell reality from fable. We try and find nice things about him, but honestly with how consistently he lies and does questionable acts it is very difficult to oversee all of that.
I could go on and on about how this guy lives and drives me up a wall.
Our lease is up in a few months. I am very much so aware of the fact that he has nowhere to go. OH! He also got an eviction notice from a previous landlord shortly after we got approved for our current apartment. That basically solidifies the fact that he has nowhere to go.
I need roommates to fill the spaces. He also has kittens that I am actually fearful for their future care because of his blatant negligence for life. He makes money to pay rent, but is an absolute nightmare.
I am in a pickle.
SOS lol 🤦🏼‍♂️

So this is likely to be a pretty long post but I will try to make it as short as I can I just feel that there is a lot of things that provide context for this so first off I am a 31 yr old female. When I was young about 10 years old, I started to go through puberty. Pretty young yes, but I had yet to start my cycle. I just started having wider hips and developing a bosom and also some attitude I started having some mood swings all perfectly normal. Right. wrong. My mom did not like that I was having mood swings and basically not following her every command so she started me on something for hormones, a natural herb that was supposed to help with the mood swings. Now I think that it caused problems I started my cycle when I was 13 and after a year I was told that I most likely would not be able to have kids that if I did I would have to go through long treatments in order to do so. I have PCOS I would have sometimes two or three cycles a year and some other not so great symptoms Now when I was younger it didn't really hit me that this would affect my life. I always thought I'd be a mom has always wanted to be a mom and I just thought you know this doesn't matter. It'll still happen. When I was 18 I had a boyfriend but I was also a virgin. I didn't really know anything about anything per say He was older and definitely knew what he was doing. Being a virgin and growing up in a Mormon l conservative home. The only thing I'd been told about relationships in the bedroom was and I quote "it hurts" so I had no idea about condoms or anything like that. I had just moved out of the house so I was still trying to learn all this. Needless to say I ended up pregnant. I made it 9 weeks before I miscarried due to the stress of finding out my boyfriend was cheating on me and I was the side piece coming from a conservative Mormon home that was really stressful for me and also because my mom was very conservative and so was my family. I didn't really tell anyone. I just kind of dealt with it on my own and so after that I kind of fell off the deep end and I started drinking and partying about 4 years later when I was 23. I met someone new but this time I knew better. I was careful to always use contraceptives and I figured if they failed I most likely wouldn't get pregnant anyways because I was continuously being told by doctors that I probably wouldn't be able to have kids well I got pregnant again. I made it 11 weeks before I miscarried again this time however, I told my mom she was the only one I told and I've never told anyone since because she didn't believe me. she said even if that was true that the baby was better off and at least the baby would be perfect in heaven. after that I really went off The deep end I started drinking smoking partying some recreational drug use. Basically anything to numb the pain and this time I didn't even tell the boyfriend and he ended up moving Not long after that Anyways. I really went down a rabbit hole and if it weren't for my brother helping pull me out of it and getting me a job out of state away from all the people that I knew pretty much except for him. He had a job there too. I probably would have continued down that path but when I moved I stopped drinking. I stopped smoking. I stopped all the partying everything and really just kind of did some soul searching on what I wanted and who I wanted to be and what my life would be like I was 25 when I moved back and I was doing a lot better than. I got a job. I was saving up I got my new car and I'd moved in with my parents to help them with some issues they were having. My dad had cancer and my mom has had a slew of health problems so I have yet to move out since I basically helped take care of everything around the house and make sure everything's the way it needs to be When I was 29 I met another guy we dated for a couple months and I ended up pregnant now when I had moved a couple things had happened. I think the change in lifestyle and also the fact that it could have been a different city. It could have been the change in elevation. Whatever else, but I started having regular consistent cycles and I stopped having a lot of the issues that I've been having with my hormones. But I still thought that I would not be able to have a kid at that point though. But I found out when I was just over 4 weeks and because of my past miscarriages I went to the doctor as soon as I could to make sure everything was okay and he monitored me very closely. Now because of my fabulous doctor I was able to deliver a healthy baby girl and I love her more than life itself. But I seem to have a bad choice in men because her "father" wanted nothing to do with her and it broke my heart. I have tried my best to do whatever I can to make my daughter happy and healthy and have a great life but I have still yet to meet anyone that could be any sort of father figure for her. Now on to my cousin we have never gotten along for whatever reason, ever since I was young she would alienate me in any way she could. I never knew why. She's actually only a little bit older than I am by, like not even a full year and my other cousins that were right around my age. All kind of went with her and alienated me too. So I ended up playing a lot of the time with all the younger kids by which I'm talking about 4 to 5 years younger than me and when you're young. And you don't really know why you're being treated that way it can leave a lasting impression. I have never been close with her and I don't think I ever will be. I don't wish her any. Ill will but I don't like her either not long ago she found out she was pregnant and she's had fertility issues as well it ended her first marriage but not only did she find someone who loves her but also loves their baby and wants their baby and that created some jealousy in me. I'm not going to lie. I was very angry that she was still doing all the things that I had given up partying and such and she still was able to find someone. And on top of that have a baby now. A few days ago she went into pre-term labor. She is just over 25 weeks and they've been struggling to keep the baby inside for the last couple days. Tomorrow they're going to deliver the baby at 26 weeks now I hope every thing turns out well cause I wouldn't wish the pain of loosing a child on anyone but I can't help but feel a little angry because everyone in our family is coming out of the wood work to help her and comfort her and be there for her and they are showing her so much love and support. And her boyfriend is right there with her and is supporting her and I just feel so angry and hurt because I never had that support. I mean no one really knew about any of my miscarriages and the one person I trusted didn't even believe me. And my mom now is bending over backwards to try and be as helpful as she can and I think that's what makes me the maddest no I don't hate my cousin. I don't wish her any ill will. I hope that everything goes well with her baby and her boyfriend and that everything turns out great but I can't seem to make myself bend over backwards for her either and jump at every piece of information that is being given. In fact, I wish I didn't even hear it at all because every time I do it just digs that knife deeper and deeper and I don't know how to deal with it. All I know is I am so angry at my family so aita for being angry at my cousin?

Everything fucking sucks. I'm a terrible person and I keep fucking up things with my family who the situation is too complicated with to go into but basically I was abused in the past and things sometimes still get bad but mostly now I'm just the one in the wrong.
I'm so introverted I'm basically an associate loser anytime I'm at home and even around friends i'm a lpt more cheerful and outgoing but im still pretty reserved and space out a lot. I barely talk to my family anymore even though they constantly try to talk to me and include me. I'm constantly fighting with my parents over the shit that I forget to do or am not listening about or my bad attitude.
I'm terrified of the future. I can't drive. I stopped working out a few weeks ago. I have loving and supporting friends but it feels like I'm constantly victimizing and playing victim to get attention but I can never embrace others or receive love or anything when they recognize I'm struggling and try to show love. I just fucking push everyone away and then the cycle repeats.
I have super close family visiting but it feels like I barely even have anything to say to anyone anymore. My mom even tells me from time to time when we fight that I didnt use to be like this. I'm just a fucked up empty loser at this point. I plan to join the military to pay for college but I struggle with suicidal thoughts daily now and have on and off for over a decade.
I can't have a proper relationship because I have no game but also because I'm too traumatized and emotionally broken to have a healthy relationship or hold one with someone who isn't at least as fucked up as me, and even then my last and only relationship ended because I was too fucked up and made it terrible.
I dream of becoming an author or a teacher or a counselor but I don't have the work ethic to do that shit anymore. I love art and writing but I'm shit and its ultimately pointless. Anything I make would just be shitty anyway I think. I love hearing praise for my work and for myself as a person but thats just because I'm a selfish asshole. I wonder sometimes nowadays if I could even be a narcissist. I've done hard shit before and it feels like I've just checked out. I've lived my life for long enough already. I'm just so tired and I feel so fucking bad. I'm a terrible guy. I hate my body. I hate my personality and I hate that everything I'm going through feels like I'm just doing it all to myself for attention because sometimes it randomly clears up and I'm left wondering what the fuck happened and I feel the urge to try and make myself go back to being fucking depressed and suicidal and I don't know why.
I have a best friend who says that she feels like she's lazy and useless and hater her body. I want to tell her that she's beautiful and amazing and awesome in every way and that I love her, but when we say we love each other, it's only as friends. I'll be going away soon for the military and she'll never know just how in love I am with her. I tell her that my heart breaks that she feels that way but she says she feels worse that I feel the way that I do about myself. She says that she's healing and getting better and learning to love herself but that I can't seem to let myself do that. Maybe she's right. I'm just glad she isn't hurting as bad as me.
My Mom and me fought again today. She's cracking under the pressure of living with my psycho stepdad and her psycho oldest son (me) because we end up not getting along a lot. I make her cry often. I say harsh things to her and I feel some strange need to reject and deny her affections even when I want to embrace her. Sometimes I become the center of attention at events where our achievements are announced, or on my birthday or at a party, but I just want to shrink back into a piece of dust so small that I vanish from the world entirely.
I'm happy around my friends, at least happier than when I'm alone. Or maybe I'm just more outgoing and distracted?. Around my family I'm just a fucking asshole hermetic loser, even those family I really love and like to be around and talk to a bunch, I talk with them and I'm normal but I just never feel "right" no matter what I'm doing. My big wish for years and years that hasn't either been to become a great artist or to find true love has been to use all of my energy I have left to improve the lives of others and take away their problems so I can just fucking die and leave living to them.
I even feel bad about fucking feeling bad. My teachers and friends all wrote such sweet things in my yearbook. "Love you bro." "Never lose hope." "I know you'll do great things. Never change!" And yet here I am for God knows what time this week vividly imagining scenarios in which I just betray everyone I know and let everyone down by ending it all. There just isn't a solution. And whatever solution there really might be, I'm too lazy and fucked up to actually work towards it and bear it all.
I just want to go off to some fantasy where everything is perfect, except I'm not me, I'm someone else. Because it feels like I'll never be okay no matter what happens or where I am or who I'm with. I'm so fucking sad man. Everything fucking sucks. Please help me.
A rabbit just came really close to me and sat by me for a second and hopped away. The worst part about feeling bad is that it's on and off. I liked seeing it there and I felt wonder. But I feel bad again now. And I feel a pull when I don't, to return to feeling terrible when I'm feeling happy. I think I'd feel fine if I didn't constantly try to push and keep myself down. I wonder if I really do do it to myself for whatever reason, or if I actually am the victim or sufferer of some kinds of issues or problems? I think part of ot is to feel special. Also to have a constant issue that needs to be addressed. And of course, as an excuse to make nothing of myself and throw away the hard work myself and others have put in. Hundreds of hours of athletics and fitness? Gone. Years of academic achievement? Gone. A lifetime of toil on behalf of my family members? The care of friends and family? The love others have towards me, supposedly irreplaceable and uniquely special and well-adored me? All down the drain.
My least favorite feeling in the whole wide world is letting others down. And killing myself would be the ultimate letdown. The ultimate cruelty. So that's why I haven't done it yet. I have often wished, even since young childhood, that everyone stopped caring about me so I could kill myself without anyone worrying or being sad about it. I often exhibit self-destructive tendencies and desires that I sometimes wonder might be in service of this goal, to drive away everyone and everything until the internal hellscape of my mind becomes reality.

Lets see if this post belongs here?
We live in residential area at the neck of a cricle of a sibdivision, cars general speed past even though theres alot of children about during the day. Anyway. Ok our dog who "never" goes out the front of the house. Snuck out with me when I took the garbage out about 9pm (was dark). I thought he went down a cpl houses, you can't really see as there's not a street light down there.
The kids were walking down to get him, calling his name a car turned down the road, as the dog was crossing the kids could see him in her headlights.. well he didn't make it, she didn't slow down at all i was behind them all i heard was what i thought the dog splattering in the road.
Well she was going so fast he bounced off her car, and smashed into the curb.. shattering his tibia and fibia(sp?). Kids screaming several neighbors came over sampson (dog) came running back on 3 leg. He laid down in the garage everyone immediately started looking up er vets.
She didn't stop, but she did come back. Said she wasn't paying attention it was her fault and offered to pay for all his injuries to fix him. Well was 1700 first night I pd. Surgery was quoted at 5100.00 we asked they offered 3000.00 secured the rest so he could have surgery through fundraising and such.
I have soo much going on right now, I work full time, school full time. My son just turned 18 last week we race mx every weekend. My mom's estate just got filed. Like just alot... it just dawned on me I can't go to any of the races as I can't put a crippled dog onto someone else.. like my whole summer is ruined being my son's last yr of racing, this bums me out.
I get mad like why am I begging for money when I didn't do it. Why am I making multiple 2 hr trips to the vet because of her negligence?
I messaged her all that pretty much and asked if she had any ideas maybe her car insurance would pay etc. Idk I'm just overloaded with shit right nowhe is a 100lb dog we had him home for a cpl days waiting for surgery and its not easy getting him in and out and babysitting his splint to not get wet.. baggiesnon his foot etc diapers on inside to not leak. Just alot.
She said we were hoping 3000 was enuff to help amd said take care!
So my quesrion is do i just deal with my stress load and max out my credit cards due to her negligence or run it through small claims?.
Am I at fault for the dog crossing the road? Or her for being on her phone? Cops weren't called, I can go make a report though and I have neighbors that she told she was texting too and would write a statement, they also heard her say she would pay for it all..
I just don't want to bring it to court and end up with a ticket, I mean I don't mind if I get a ticket but its her fault right? In the end...
I dont know what to do.. maybe the stress is getting to me amd I'm just being a baby with the 8-12 weeks of additional responsibilities I don't know anymore!
Thanks for any advice!

I (29F) was having dinner with my mom, my kids and my grandma. We got to talking about how my son (5M) was built a lot like my father in law super tiny and small and my other son (also 5M) was built more like my husband. Stocky and broad shoulders…think football player. My grandma then said “oh well that’s not good he’s probably gonna have a weight problem then.” I looked at her confused and said what do you mean have a weight problem? She said oh well your husband is really over weight and is always trying to diet so I guess your son will probably be too. This kind of comment is fairly common of my grandmother (she’s doesn’t like my husband) but still I was shocked.
I was so mad but decided to try and keep quiet and calm myself down before speaking. She could tell immediately that she shouldn’t have said that and tried to walk it back by adding “oh well you know we are all a little heavy and could use a diet” I still kept quiet. After a minute everyone else had left the room and it was just her and I. I calmly said “look I really don’t want to fight or argue with you but could you please try not to speak so disrespectfully about my husband and kid.” She immediately smacked her hand on the table and started yelling and pointing her finger at me about how she would never say anything disrespectful about my son and that I was being too sensitive. She says she has to walk on egg shells around me and can’t even talk to me anymore because I always have a problem with what she says. She said if what she said upset me I should just keep my mouth shut and let it go because she is quote “an old woman” she didn’t even give me a chance to tell her why the comment was upsetting or why I feel like it crossed a line. She just started yelling and telling me “she’s an old woman and will never be perfect. “
I just want her to think about what she says a little before saying hurtful things. I’m the only one in the family that will stand up to her about it. The rest of the family just lets her do and say whatever she wants. I know I won’t change her. I just wish she cared enough to think about us before speaking.

This might be a long read and yes that hobby is video games.
I(33M) and my wife(32F) have been married for 14 years and together since I was 13 and she 12. We have four kids, three girls and one boy from 4 to 12. I've been playing video games since the 2nd grade (yes super Nintendo). It's always been my favorite pass time and hobby and my best memories from when I was a kid is from me and two brother playing halo and playing call of duty is the only way me and my little brother still connect after my older brother was killed in 2011. I have 5k PC gaming (I'm also a nerd) and an entire room of my house dedicated to gaming. When I came home from Afghanistan in 2013 I was alone and although I didn't know it have the time I played video games online with little brother to cope, we talked and worked on our KD. During that time I was alone, my wife and oldest daughter was still in a different state living with her mom (daughter was born 1 1/2 month before I deployed). She lived with her mom for the help while I was gone but I still spent first four month on my own.
Before I start getting the gaming hate. My kids (all of them) loved playing video games with me (I built the oldest two thier own rigs and the other play on the Xbox and phones). I also make just shy of 100k a year, been in the military for 15yrs, workout regularly, love my wife dearly and have a graduate level education, we own a very nice 300k home in a nice neighborhood and two both less than 3yrs old. That all to say I'm no bum, and I take extreme pride in taking care of my large family because I have alot of memories of my dad being a bum before my dad left him. I at least think I'm a decent dad and husband. I even only drink 4 times a year and only at home never more than 6 beers because my wife dad was an alcoholic.
Now for the reason for the title. Last year in February I was upstairs playing roblox with my 12 and 8 yr Olds during the weekend. I would only play during the weekends. My game room that I spent 7 yrs curating is upstairs right next to the loft where my kids gaming stations are also located. While we are gaming my wife is down stairs watching T.V and while these things are taking place my 4 and 7 yr old were playing in the loft (it's thier play room with an untold number of toys, a couch and a 55in T.V).
All of the sudden my 7 yr old daughter heads for gate that blocks the stairs (I intentionally picked the room next to the stairs) and I ask her "where are you going" because I told them to stay upstairs to let their mom relax. She said that she needed to talk her mommy and she seemed upset and so I'm thing "girl stuff mind your business" and I let her go. Then my wife calls down my 4 yr old. Then my wife yells for my other two. When that happens because the kids were playing with me I went down with them intending to help them do what ever they were supposed to do so we can get back to having fun gaming. What happened wasn't that.
When I went down stairs my wife had our kids line up in front her and she starts laying in them. Very loudly and aggressively, because my then 3yr old had scissors and used them to cut some of her hair. Mind you they where children safety scissors by they seemed to have done the job. My wife was furious and made sure it was know.
She told them that they know that they have to watch the 3-year-old when I'm gaming because they know that I won't and that it's there responsibility to watch her when I'm gaming because I never do. This was the bases of her entire furious rant to them. It went on for 15 - 20 min before I left.
I was beyond hurt. I never cry in front if my kids, I do my best to control my emotions in front of them. I couldn't in that moment. Hearing her tell my kids right in from me that they have to take care of each other because I won't cut me deeper than I've ever felt. So I just grabbed my keys and left. I called my little brother in between wanting to kill someone and crying my eyes out and told him what happened. I couldn't control how angry I was and so I sat in a walmart parking lot for close to an hour while I calmed down. My wife called me constantly. After I calmed down I went home where she acted like I was in the wrong for leaving and wanted me to apologize for leaving instead of talking. I didn't.
I haven't play a single video game since then. This past new years I was drinking (my kids where at my father-in-laws and I was at home with my wife) and my wife used rare opportunity to ask me why I won't play games with the kids anymore and me in that state if mind told the entire truth and allowed my real feeling to show. I told it was because of what she said and overall that she said it to my kids and in my face and how she had no right too. I explained how we always send the kids upstairs to play without us and how it's the whole reason the kids play area exists. I further told her how I even explicitly chose the room I could just to be able to be able to somewhat watch them while I'm gaming and how now I get sick to my stomach when ever I even think about gaming. About how it was how I connected to my brother's and my kids and how it was my only hobby. If I wasn't at Work, the gym, or gaming I was with her and the kids and that half the time even when I'm gaming I'm still with the kids.
To this day I still can't bring myself to game. My son and oldest daughter still ask me regularly to play games with them and my brother is always asking me too jump on call of duty with him. I just can't get over it and I blame my wife and resent her for taking this thing away from me.

(Long AF, please be patient)
Hey people, just found this community and I really need some place to talk with people that understand me (hopefully). Don't worry, I'm not going to end myself or anything (despite the title).
22 M living with my parents. I'm brazilian so the whole "get out when you are 18" isn't a thing around here. My parents are both from the 60's so old fashioned would be an understatement.
Do you people also stay locked in your room form majority of the day? Because I do. I work fully home office in a company so I have the "best" excuse.
My mother ALWAYS was very very controlling. While in school, always wanting to know what I did in class, how was my day, the name of my friends, etc. But ok, that wasn't that bad. When I started college (2020 🤡) she wanted to know everything also. I studied in the morning, they would pick me up because I still didn't had a car license and getting the bus was a "little" dangerous because of, well, 🇧🇷. And they would always say "why you need to stay on the campus?? We are not going to get you in the middle of the afternoon because of traffic" or some BS. Then came the pandemic, only got worse. My father on the political side, denying the vaccines, my mother completely paranoid with the virus (kinda of understandable) and my sister who married and got out of the house a few years back debating 24/7 with my dad because she is from the health area.
Always that I do something out of the ordinary she just makes as I've killed a person. Such drama. Now I just said to her I'm traveling with my GF to a nearby city and she went "OMG We can't catch a break, when we think everything is OK you do this" and just shut her face off as someone in the family just died or something. And yes, she refers to herself as "we". No, she isn't non binary or anything, I just think she has such a weak mind that can't say "I don't like it".
Why? Because she says the road is dangerous to there (it isn't). Bro I have my license for almost 3 years now, and rode about 30.000Km and a few trips with different cars. I know how to handle myself. She doesn't trust me. She doesn't like if I do anything that she doesn't agree or think "is right". She asks me constantly about my GF and her family, my friends, my coworkers, EVERYTHING. You know why? Because if I say to her "Xavier likes coffee". If I ever say something "Xavier brought his tea bottle today" MONTHS later she will say "what, I was thinking Xavier only liked coffe?"
I have the feeling she wants to know where single thing so she always has something to spit on my face and tell me I'm wrong. Bro, on her BIRTHDAY, we went to a restaurant and I ordered some fried shrimp (the price of regular two plates) because we like as a family but my parents love sea food. I paid it. I'm not kidding, she went about 3 weeks saying stuff like "...I have a rich son that work's at ____" because I bought some shrimp.Just because one time I got my GF to some nice restaurants she does the same. As if I was paying 1000$ per plate. And she talks with so much irony that honestly, doesn't even make me mad anymore. Just sad.
The problem is: I can't go out. I can't get out of my house. The car is mine but if I wanted to sell it to have some cash to start financing a home (don't want to because the car is one of the only forms of freedom I have) I can't. Because the car "is mine". The documents are on my name but you know how it is. They paid for it, it's theirs. Even if legally speaking isn't. Housing is so fucking expensive. Even the first payment (we call it here "Entrada") generally speaking is 20% of the total value of the house, then you finance it for 15,20,30 years depending on your situation). And yes, you can pay that years and years before 30.
The thing is, 20% for a house nowadays in my city in around 50K (300K apartment). My wage is 2,5K/month. How on earth can I do this? Simple, I can't. The only cheaper alternatives are on another cities which is a problem because of my university and job (hybrid).
So here I am, wanting love from my parents, wanting to love them but I can't. My dad is awesome for fixing my car, fixing things around the house, helping me with cosplays. My mom cooks like a chef, I'm little sick now and she went to the market I bought the ingredients that I like for today. But man, that emotional hole, hurts so much.
Yes, their love language is acts of service (both) towards me and my sister but you know, that doesn't compensate. I would rather have a "less loving family" for a more compressible and engaged. In the pandemic I wanted a drumkit, a distant dream. My father built a fucking soundproof studio inside my bedroom and bought me a used drumkit. Best dad ever right?
Yeah, but he also complains about the noise to the neighbors every time that I played and said I could only play until 6pm. Bro the studio is literally SOUNDPROOF. You can only hear a faint sound in the kitchen (right below) because the floor isn't as well isolated. The problem isn't the neighbour. The problem is that they know I'm playing so that troubles them.
My mom said to me "Why won't you sell this drum? You don't even play anymore" well because I'm fucking depressed that's why. She could so much say to me "look, you look sad, why won't you go and play a little? Might cheer you up" or something. Boy I would kill to get this type of love from them.
Everything became "formal". You know, I don't think they love me anymore. They treat me as I was an enemy that wants to spend all my money on futile shit and think the world is all sugar and rainbows. I can't even fake an I love you.
I saw a very pretty quote on Instagram about being a dad, a nice text to send to your old man. But I simply can't. I can't. I want so much because I know they'll be gone "soon" and I want to have pictures. Learn recipes, more about cars and motorcycles. But everything I do is wrong, I'm a dumbass, I'm spending money just on wrong things.
Bro, I wanted freedom. They stared giving me guilt trips.
I didn't want no contact with them, just wanted "go traveling son, go search the unknown, if it ever goes south, you have where to return". No. All they do is shame me for it.
I wanted to do my birthday with my friends in my house. My mom said no. Bro??? But she says going out is "expensive" so How the fuck am I supposed to act?
Sorry for the venting guys, I used the support flair because I hope someone reads this and can identify, and teach me something.

I (29F) was having dinner with my mom, my kids and my grandma. We got to talking about how my son (5M) was built a lot like my father in law super tiny and small and my other son (also 5M) was built more like my husband. Stocky and broad shoulders…think football player. My grandma then said “oh well that’s not good he’s probably gonna have a weight problem then.” I looked at her confused and said what do you mean have a weight problem? She said oh well your husband is really over weight and is always trying to diet so I guess your son will probably be too. This kind of comment is fairly common of my grandmother (she’s doesn’t like my husband) but still I was shocked. I was so mad but decided to try and keep quiet and calm myself down before speaking. She could tell immediately that she shouldn’t have said that and tried to walk it back by adding “oh well you know we are all a little heavy and could use a diet” I still kept quiet. After a minute everyone else had left the room and it was just her and I. I calmly said “look I really don’t want to fight or argue with you but could you please try not to speak so disrespectfully about my husband and kid.” She immediately smacked her hand on the table and started yelling and pointing her finger at me about how she would never say anything disrespectful about my son and that I was being too sensitive. She says she has to walk on egg shells around me and can’t even talk to me anymore because I always have a problem with what she says. She said if what she said upset me I should just keep my mouth shut and let it go because she is quote “an old woman” she didn’t even give me a chance to tell her why the comment was upsetting or why I feel like it crossed a line. She just started yelling and telling me “she’s an old woman and will never be perfect. “ I just want her to think about what she says a little before saying hurtful things. I’m also the only one in the family that will stand up to her about it. The rest of the family just lets her do and say whatever she wants. So Reddit… am I the asshole for asking my grandmother to be more respectful?

(I am SO sorry for the needed lengthy) Back Story & Context Leading To My Decision:
I (33F) have 1 sibling, “Sam” (38F). Although we share the same parents, our childhood & the way we were treated was incredibly different. Mainly because Sam had always been favored & treated far better than me. A fact that Sam refuses to acknowledge to this day.
Before & after my parents got married, it was agreed upon that they would not have children, until one day my mother “Susan” (66F) came up with the bright idea that if she gave her parents (“Norma & Gene”) a grand-baby they would finally love her. She went off the pill without telling my father, got pregnant, then had Sam. To no one’s surprise, Susan hated being a mom. So she would ship Sam across the country to Norma & Gene’s constantly, so much so, they saw her as THEIR child. And they showered her with love that Susan never even got a taste of. This led to Susan being aggressively jealous & resentful of her child.
Years later, my dad was tricked again into having me to “save their marriage.” They divorced when I was 3. All Sam ever knew from Susan was neglect, emotional & mental abuse from Susan, which only became worse when she could use “favoring” me as another way to hurt Sam. This was NOT a secret in my family, resulting in maltreatment towards me (either subconsciously or intentionally).
Abuse toward Sam turned physical. My father was given full custody of her when I was 8, and I was left with Susan for the next 2 years until she decided she wanted to move to San Francisco because she “deserved” a more glamorous life. I do not remember the years living with Susan, but recently one of my closest friends (of 25 years) said to me I practically lived at her house & she barely interacted with Susan throughout the entirety of our friendship.
To make up for Susan being an awful parent, Norma & Gene would dote on Sam & shell out a lot of $$$ to give her a very nice life (let me know if you want me to give a list of examples in an update), compare this to me when I barley received a kind word. They offered me money ONCE in my early 20’s to pay off my credit card debt I accrued in college as I had to pay all my own bills while working full time (I have been working since I was 15) and going to school full time. I am the only one in the family who worked in college, yet I am still the only one to graduate with honors. I accepted with the condition it would come out of my “inheritance.” I have never asked or been offered money since. I have paid for ALL my own bills since I left home @ 18 years old.
Despite the obvious disparities and constant hurt they put me through, I was an active member of the family who mainly kept her mouth shut. I attended family events unless I could not afford to go, I sent holiday gifts, called between 1-2x per month for an 1 hour+ phone call in which I most often bit my tongue unless it was to defend Sam as Norma did not agree with her parenting.
Something to note, in May 2021 my father had an accident that would lead to his passing in December 2021. The disagreements & Sam’s nastiness toward me after the accident and then his death further strained our relationship.
Fast forward to March 2023. An explosive incident at Susan’s home in front of me she screamed at my sister to the point of Sam sobbing in ear shot of her 3 young kids, husband, and my step father resulted in me cutting ties with Susan for good. To be fair, she screamed in my face “I don’t want a relationship with you” with Sam as a witness. I made the family aware of my decision, and everyone, including Norma agreed to respect my decision.
By August 2023, my physical health that had been on a rapid decline since 2019 including 18 out of 23 (78%) of my spinal discs deteriorating without a known cause had become unbearable to manage + time I had to take off because of migraines & doctor’s appointments, I had to quit my corporate desk job. I had enough money saved to tide me over for some time, but as any US adult in their 20’s & 30’s know, it’s been rough the past few years, add in physical disabilities & limited mobility + regular migraines, I was running low on money & needed help. So at the end of December, at the encouragement & insistence of my aunt Elizabeth (Susan’s sister) who I had become quite close with over the past few years, I went to Norma & Gene to ask for a LOAN. They had donated $25,000 to Sam’s place of worship on her behalf a few months prior, offered to buy Sam & her husband a house the year prior, paid for Elizabeth’s bills & expensive lifestyle for the last year when she was soul searching on what line of work she wanted to do next, this was after putting a down payment on Elizabeth’s new $470,000 condo + $70,000 of renovations it needed, not to mention the literal hundreds of thousands of dollars that they have given Susan over the years just to pay off her credit card debt (none of which is coming out of their inheritance might I add) she assured me they would absolutely loan their granddaughter with serious health issues money. Elizabeth would talk to them personally about it, just to seal the deal while Sam would help me find cheaper alternatives to my current necessities such as Medicaid.
I make the request, and to my surprise they are more than happy to help me with a loan. But one week later & their phone calls with Susan, they say by email they “love me but cannot continue to financially support my poor decisions.” I call Elizabeth who says, it was not in her best interest to talk to them about helping me as I am “worthless to this family and society while being disabled.” Then adds that she will not let her “mental health deteriorate just to emotionally support me.” I then immediately reach out to Sam who does not even have the guts to talk by phone only text, and says she called Susan to explain my circumstance but “wasn’t going to argue or pick a fight” to help me and that she is sorry that that she “can't show up for me the way I want her to because she needs to maintain her own mental health, relationships and boundaries.” She also threw in that I have “made up this narrative in my head” that they treat her & I different, that she is treated better.
That day I fully cut contact with Norma, Gene, and Elizabeth. I told them they will not be hearing from me again, and I will not be attending theirs or Susan’s funeral. And I stopped speaking with Sam for the time being. Ironically, what led us to speaking was last month (April 20224) I had begun working on an article about going No Contact with family members. I asked if I could discuss her childhood abuse in a few sentences as part of the article. She agreed and offered to give me quotes. I accepted then interviewed her. From there we began rebuilding our relationship.
Then last Wednesday, (May 8), Norma passes. I do not attend the funeral that happened on Friday, May 10. My two cousins who I have become very close with in the last 6 months understood why, and supported my decision. But even though I did not go, I continually checked in with them & Sam to ensure they were okay. Not once from Wednesday to yesterday (Tuesday) did Sam reply to a single message. As I am concerned about this, I reached out yesterday morning. She replied in the afternoon. I was incredibly hurt by her very lengthy message. Here are 2 excerpts that led me to full NC.

1. “Your perspective on the situation was clear, you werent coming to be with the family and you arent grieving [Norma’s] death at least in the conventional sense. I had to be the one to answer from most of the family why you werent there, it was incredibly awkward and uncomfortable for me.”
2. “Since late January/Early February things have already been really strained between us. I know that most that comes from my point of view and actions were really hurtful to you. I hate that I hurt you and Its been difficult for me to reconcile that I can't show up for you the way you want me to while also maintaining my own mental health, relationships and boundaries.”

She continually says that she cannot show up for me the way I need without affecting her mental health or crossing boundaries, and I am not someone that would ever want to hinder someone else’s life by my presence or cause inner turmoil by associating with me. I let her know this and said I will stop trying to cultivate a relationship and I will step away for good. I said it as kind as possible, taking an hour to craft a message that can only be seen as kind. I told her if she responds I will not be reading it.
I work very hard to stay positive as it’s just me to lean on. When there is something eating at me emotionally, it will drain my energy & have me spiral until it is resolved. I did not want to waste another week feeling hurt. But with that said, AITA for cutting ties at this time & not waiting?

Once again, my next post concerning the localized script of Cold Steel III. With this, I'll tackle the first part of Chapter 3. The points shown here are based on my sensibilities as to what lines cause issues for the dialogue, from being outright wrong to being awkward. My previous posts are listed below:

• Prologue: https://www.reddit.com/Falcom/s/iU44PytvbN
  
• Chapter 1: https://www.reddit.com/Falcom/s/cTjkFwRsAM
  
• Chapter 2 (1/2): https://www.reddit.com/Falcom/s/973QP55DqX
  
• Chapter 2 (2/2): https://www.reddit.com/Falcom/s/XrHBTWb0hr
  

Chapter 3

• 1:「I take it this means House Hyarms will be the only one of the Four Great Houses in attendance?」 / 「“四大”から当主が出席するのはそちらの家だけになりそうだな？」

The localization has Jusis word this an absolute. "当主" should refer to the actual head of the house. Jusis could've said: [I take it this means House Hyarms will be the only one of the Four Great Houses in with it's head attendance?]

• 2:「Every bit as tasty as the pancakes Tilly and I had earlier.」 / 「この前アーちゃんと食べたパンケーキに負けてないかなぁ。」

The phrasing choice of "earlier" in the localization makes this reference to a moment in Chapter 1, pretty much two months ago, strange. It feels like way too much like a direct translation of "この前," without the context. Millium could've said: [Every bit as tasty as the pancakes Tilly and I had (anything that'd make more sense) before/in Leeves/a couple months ago.]

• 3:「I figured Nidhoggr would be good, but the other guys are no slouches themselves.」 / 「“竜”も“連中”も悪くない。」

Random moment in the localization where refering to the jaeger corp in question as just "the dragons"/"竜" is omitted. There were no issues in any other instance. Shirley could've said: [I figured the dragons would be good, but the other guys are no slouches themselves.]

• 4:「The dragon lost its head, and as for the other group, well...」 / 「“竜”は頭が変わり、“彼ら”の方といえば──」

The original has it as "changed"/"変わり," not outright lost. Gareth could've said: [The dragon changed its head, and as for the other group, well...]

• 5:「We've got two of the strongest jaeger corps--the dragons and these jaegers in purple--battling it out...」 / 「──最強の猟兵団２つに“竜”たち、そして紫の一団……」

The localization phrases this in a different way than it should. It's denoted that "the dragons and these jaegers in purple" are emphasized as the "two strongest jager corps"; however, the original is listing the four in the scene. Sara could've said: [We've got two of the strongest jaeger corps--Zephyr and the Red Constelation--the dragons and these jaegers in purple, battling it out.]

• 6:「What's this big conference thing about?」 / 「『領邦会議』って何なの？」

The localization changes the clear question about the actual term she read about, just to make it sillier. Besides the fact that it even chooses to swap "council" for "conference." Juna could've said: [What's this Provincial Council thing about?]

• 7:「One time, some bandits captured me and held me in a stone prison...」 / 「とある小国では、山賊に捕まり一週間も岩牢へぶち込まれた事があったのお……」

The localization omits the time held captive, "one week"/"一週間." Old Man Rod could've said: [One time, some bandits captured me and held me in a stone prison for a whole week...]

• 8:「Speaking of which, was the Azure Knight ever retrieved?」 / 「そういえば《蒼の騎神》は軍に回収されたのよね？」

「I heard that they sealed it up so that the Noble Alliance wouldn't get their hands on it.」 / 「貴族勢力に使われないよう厳重に封印したって聞いたけど……」
Very weird way to phrase this line by the localization. Especially considering that it is also said "they sealed it" in the next line. The original already mentions the "military"/"軍." Celine could've said: [Speaking of which, was/wasn't the Azure Knight ever retrieved by the military?]

• 9:「Mastering this form is more difficult than any other. I do not know if you are even capable of such a feat, yet...」 / 「その極みは他の型よりも遠く、おぬしが“理”に至れるかは分からぬが……」

The localization lumps the meaning of reaching the "pinnacle" or "heights"/"極み" and "enlightenment"/"理" to be the same thing as "mastering"/"奥伝" the 7th form. That's simply wrong. Yun Ka-Fai's letter could've said: [Reaching the pinnacle of this form is more difficult than any other. I do not know if you are even capable of attaining "enlightenment", yet...]

• 10:「Not to mention, I can't imagine you'd need a third. Not at this point in your relationship, anyway♡.」 / 「それにせっかくの２人きりの機会……水を差すのは野暮というものですし♡」

The localization adds what I assume is meant to be a "threesome" joke. Sharon could've said: [Not to mention, I can't imagine you'd like me to intrude on your private time♡]

• 11:「My school and the cathedral are in the same district, in case you were wondering.」 / 「何しろ、女学院と大聖堂は同じサンクト地区にありますしね。」

The localization saw fit to omit the specifications of the district. Elise could've said: [My school/St. Astraia/the Girl's School and the cathedral are both in the Sankt District, in case you were wondering.]

• 12:「(Yes, I have. When I was accompanying the inspection team in Crossbell, I did some studying there.)」 / 「（ええ、ですがクロスベルの視察団に同行するのにあたって一通り勉強しましたから。）」

Actually, it's completely wrong. When questioned, by Rean, that she's never been to Armorica Village before, she's not supposed to have "studied in the village." Elise should've said: [Yes, I haven't. However, when I was accompanying the inspection team in Crossbell, I did some studying/read all *about it.]

• 13:「We have the Goddess of the Sky, but they worship something else.」 / 「彼らは空の女神と同じくらい大切にしているものがあるんだ。」

「What is it that the Nord people worship?」 / 「ノルドの民が、空の女神と同じくらい大切にしているものは？」
There isn't supposed to be a comparison that reads as if the Nord people worship "something else" instead of Aidios. Rean could've said: [They also have the Goddess of the Sky, but they worship something else equally.]

• 14:「He knows a lot about cooking, and he tells me all about the academy. Teehee, he's so helpful.」 / 「お料理も詳しいし、学院の事情なんかも教えてくださるの。ふふ、助かっているわ。」

「With such an amazing faculty member, Thors must really be an excellent school.」 / 「あんなに優秀な職員さんが いるなんて、トールズってやっぱり名門校なのねぇ。」
「Hahaha...(That doesn't quite seem like Celestin, but...)」 / 「ははは……（セレスタンさんはちょっと特別な気もするが……）」
The localization got this one completely wrong. How is describing Celestin as "knowledgeable about cooking" and "helpful" not like him? That response makes no sense. First, the second line should read more generalizing the compliments to the whole staff; Cattleya could've said: [With such an amazing faculty member/members Thors must really be an excellent school.] Second, the meaning is that "Celestin is a unique case among the faculty" (in regards to being so amazing.) Rean could've said: [Hahaha... (That doesn't quite seem like anyone but Celestin...)]

• 15:「Huh...? (Wait, is someone outside...?)」 / 「ふむ……（そういえば部屋の外に……）」

The localization also got this one wrong. The Japanese don't come across as completely unaware. The assumption of this scene is that to Wayne is standing outside the training hall. Rean could've said: [Huh...? (Wait, the one outside would be...)]

• 16:「She also said she apprenticed under a female martial artist and traveled around Erebonia...」 / 「外国人の女性武術家に弟子入りして、半年も帝国を放浪していたなんて話も聞きましたが……」

The localization omits the time spent traveling, "半年." Rean could've said: [She also said she apprenticed under a female martial artist and traveled around Erebonia for six months...]

• 17:「Yeah, thanks to this pendant Emma made me.」 / 「ああ……エマの魔力が込められこのペンダントの力を借りてだが。」

The localization simplifies the explanation. Rean could've said: [Yeah, thanks to this pendant Emma imbued with her magic.)

• 18:「A monster? Wait, that's a cryptid!」 / 「魔獣──いや、魔物のたぐいか！？」

「What a nightmarish beast that cryptid was...」 / 「はぁ、まさかあんな恐ろしい魔物がいるなんて……」
The localization mistranslated "fiend"/"魔物" for "cryptid"/"幻獣." Kurt could've said: [A monster? Wait that's some kind of fiend!] Musse could've said: [What a nightmarish beast that fiend was...]

• 19:「After paying a visit to Professor Schmidt, Rean walked George to the station, where his train back to Roer was waiting.」 / 「シュミット博士に一言挨拶を済ませた後、北東のルーレに向かうジョルジュを駅まで見送ることにしたのだった。」

The localization removes the direction of the city. The narration could've said: [After paying a visit to Professor Schmidt, Rean walked George to the station, where his train back to Roer, in the northeast, was waiting.]

• 20:「I considered making a last stand there, but news of the Northern War reached me.」 / 「１年は抵抗してやろうと思ったがそこへ《北方戦役》の話が降ってきた。」

The localization removes the remark about the duration of the last stand. Aurelia could've said: [I considered making a last stand there for a year, but news of the Northern War reached me.]

• 21:「You'll be just fine, Towa. Now let's get this show on the road!」 / 「フフ、ハーシェル先輩ならきっと大丈夫ですよ。一緒に頑張りましょう！」

The localization changes, addressing Towa by her surname. Munk could've said: [You'll be just fine, Herschel. Now let's get this show on the road!]

• 22:「Not to mention, as the student council president, you were highly regarded by many of your fellow students.」 / 「もとより、士官学院の生徒会長として貴族・平民を問わず多くの学院生たちから高い信頼を受け──」

The localization omits taking social classes into account. Munk could've said: [Not to mention, as the student council president, you were highly regarded by many of your fellow students--nobles and commoners alike.]

• 23:「Heehee. No elegant young maiden can resist the call of beautiful lace.」 / 「ふふっ、淑女の嗜みと言えばやはりマリアージュ・クロスははずせないでしょうね。」

The localization omits the mention of the brand. Musse could've said: [Heehee. No elegant young maiden can resist the call of Mariage Cross beautiful lace/Mariage Cross' beautiful lace.]

• 24:「Nothing draws a man's eye like a bit of lace...in just the right spot.」 / 「姫様から色々とプレゼントされたと聞きましたけど？」

The localization completely changes, from specifically teasing Elise to just be more of a general tease. Musse could've said: [I've heard that the princess has gifted you many such lace.]

• 25:「Although, I was shocked when she tried to pay for it with gunpowder.」 / 「手持ちがないからって報酬を弾薬で払おうとした時は驚いたけどね。」

The localization chooses to translate the general term for "ammunition"/"弾薬" to be specifically gunpowder. Marcus could've said: [Although, I was shocked when she tried to pay for it with ammunition/ammo/(maybe) *bullets".]

• 26:「How about assorted Eastern sweets?」 / 「なら……『羊羹の詰め合わせ』はどうだ？」

The localization randomly chooses to translate "yokan"/"羊羹" as just generic "eastern sweets", after having no problem doing it correctly in all other instances. Rean could've said: [How about some assorted yokan?]

• 27:「Well, we've basically just been making whatever we want at the Cooking Club.」 / 「ま、具体的には料理研究会と女子の有志でメニュー追加ですね。」

The localization phrases the arrangement weirdly. Juna could've said: [Well, we've (Elise, Musse and Juna) basically just decided on the menu together with the Cooking Club.]

• 28:「The elder? Is she the one Emma and Vita call their grandmother?」 / 「“長”──エマが“お祖母ちゃん”、クロチルダさんが“婆様”と呼ぶ人だよな？」

「I'm also worried about the 'true story' that Vita mentioned.」 / 「クロチルダさんが言っていた“真なる物語”というのもあったな。」
Again, it's made to use "Vita" instead of "Clotilde." I've already explained in previous posts how these changes can affect the dynamics of characters negatively. Rean could've said: [I'm also worried about the 'true story' that Clotilde mentioned.]

• 29:「From that day, Emma began training and studying as hard as she could with one goal...」 / 「『あやつの事は忘れよ』という“長”の言葉にも納得せず、その日からひたすらに修行と勉学に励んでいったわ。」

The localization removes what Roselia told Emma. Celine could've said: [From the day the Elder said 'forget all about heVita', Emma began training and studying as hard as she could with one goal...)

• 30:「That's the golden Spiegel the principal mentioned!」 / 「分校長が使っていた黄金のシュピーゲル……！」

The localization swaps "used" or "piloted"/"使っていた" for "mentioned." Rean could've said: [That's the golden Spiegel the principal used!]

• 31:「And so, Aurelia finished training the members of Class VIII...」 / 「──こうしてオーレリアはⅧ組メンバーにも（優しく）稽古を付け……」

The localization omits the joke. The narration could've said: [And so, Aurelia finished (gently) training the members of Class VIII...]

• 32:「Do they really need to have the conference during the Summer Festival...?」 / 「……夏至祭の時期……領邦会議もあるんですよね……」

The localization chose to phrase this as there's supposed to be reservation against these events being held at the same time. That wasn't particularly present originally. Tatiana could've said: [The Summer Festival is going to be held at the same time as Pronvicial Council...]; or: [I hear that the Provincial Council will be held together with the Summer Festival...]

• 33:「From what I heard, Olivier liked to play his lute under it.」 / 「ちなみに、その大橋の下で オリビエさんがリュートの弾き語りを披露したことがあるらしいんです。」

The localization puts this as if it's a 'known regular hobby'. Tita could've said: [From what I heard, Olivier played his lute under it *once.]

• 34:「It reminds me of the fleet. I feel like I'm home.」 / 「まるで船団に戻って来た みたいというか……これだけで里心がついちまうよ。」

「I hope our boss is doing well.」 / 「それにしても──女将さん、元気だといいんだが。」
The localization creates an awkward confusion for these lines. What would be expected is that "boss" would be the fleet's boss, but it's actually talking about the owner of the sailor bar, Miranda, by using "owner" or "landlady"/"女将さん." Leonora could've said: [I hope Miranda/the owner is doing well.]

• 35「Well, thanks to my mom's job, I know all about the nightlife in Raquel. Lemme know if you need any recommendations.」 / 「ま、お袋の職場だったのもあるし、夜のラクウェルなら任せろや。」

「I think it'll be an eye-opening experience for everyone, yeah?」 / 「坊ちゃんやらジャジャ馬にだっていい社会勉強になるんじゃねえか？」
「Though I might consider doing something after we're done with the field exercises.」 / 「せめて演習が終わった最終日なら引率込みで考えなくもないが。」
「Huh...? Well, aren't you a stingy one?」 / 「ハァ……？チッ、ケチくせえ野郎だな。」
The point of the line doesn't really come across that well in the localization. It sounds like the punchline to responding to Ash's proposal to allow Class VII to go out in the nightlife of Raquel is that "I'll consider doing that by myself." That couldn't be more wrong. Rena could've said: [Though I might consider chaperoning you guys after we're done with the field exercises.]

• 36:「The former Duke Cayenne is still under arrest and no replacement has been named.」 / 「現カイエン公は逮捕されたままで地方統括者は不在ですよね。」

Literally mistranslates "current"/"現." Altina could've said: [The current Duke Cayenne is still under arrest and no replacement has been named.]

• 37:「Hmph, you talk a lot for a doll. Must have a really long string in the back.」 / 「ハッ、よく喋る人形だぜ。」

Ash's line originally ends at the first clause.

• 38:「I hear there are some snipers who chose the Hector... but I suppose it all comes down to feeling.」 / 「正規軍の中にはヘクトルを選ぶ狙撃手もいるそうですが……まあ、要は相性ですね。」

The localization omits tthe fact that the snipers are from the army. Maya could've said: [I hear there are some snipers in the Imperial Army who chose the Hector... but I suppose it all comes down to feeling.]

• 39:「We need to focus on getting to Ordis.」 / 「この先はラクウェル方面──まずはオルディスの依頼に集中しよう。」

The localization removes the previous remark. Rean could've said: [This way leads to Raquel--We need to focus on getting to Ordis.]

• 40:「Damn. So that monster used to cozy up in there with fifty-thousand soldiers.」 / 「クク、あんな場所にあの化物が５万の兵と立て籠もったワケだ。」

The choice of "used" makes the sentence read as a characteristic beyond the single event the Japanese refers to. Ash could've said: [Damn. So that monster locked herself/cozied up in there with fifty-thousand soldiers.]

• 41:「During the war, the Imperial Army was at a loss after multiple failed attempts to infiltrate.」 / 「当時、帝国正規軍も攻めあぐねて頭を抱えたそうです。」

「It's fully equipped with multiple Panzer Soldats, large-class airships, and enough supplies and anti-aircraft cannons to last three years.」/ 「多数の機甲兵に大型飛行艇、３年は継戦できるだけの物資、対空砲も完備していましたから。」
In the context of "the Noble Alliance forces, after the civil war ended, barricaded themselves in Juno Naval Fortress," the localization wrongly chooses to put it as "during the war." Much the same, the second line is supposed to be talking about that single past event. Altina could've said: [It was equiped with multiple Panzer Soldats, large-class airships, and enough supplies amd anti-aircraft cannons to last three years.]

• 42:「(And thus a deal was struck that shifted the Northern War.)」 / 「（そんな事態を打開するために北方戦役の話が持ち上がった……）」

The localization translated this line very wrongly. The situation being "shifted" isn't the Northern War. Rean could've said: [To resolve that situation (Aurelia's barricade in Juno), the deal to set out for the Northern War was struck.]

• 44:「I don't see any Goliath Soldats. Do you?」 / 「ああ、そういや主力戦車だの噂の巨人機(ゴライアス)だのは見当たらねぇな？」

The localization omits the mention of the Main Battle Tanks. Ash could've said: [I don't see any Main Battle Tanks/MBTs/Achtzenhs or Goliath Soldats. Do you?]

• 46:「But over the past six months, we've seen some suspicious activity from both jaeger corps.」 / 「だがここ半年、帝国各地で不可解な動きをしていた各猟兵団が半月くらい前から鳴りを潜めていてな。」

「Activity that's led us to believe they're planning something for the Imperial Provincial Council in Lamare.」 / 「ール州で開かれる領邦会議に合わ・せるように。」
「Over the past six months, there haven't been any confirmed reports of jaeger corps activity within the Empire.」 / 「──ここ半月、帝国各地で 活動していた複数の猟兵団の動きが確認できなくなっている模様。」
By virtue of omitting information, the localization causes this line to have the wrong information. In the first line. Wallace could've said: [But over the past half a month/two weeks, we've not seen activity from the multiple jaeger corps which, until then, had been moving suspiciously in the Empire starting six months ago.] Consequentially, it's the lack of movement so close to the Provincial Council that makes them wary. The third line straight up mistranslated "half a month"/"半月." Wallace could've said: [Over the past half a month/two weeks, there haven't been any confirmed reports of jaeger corps activity within the Empire.]

• 47:「Ordis has been holding the Imperial Provincial Council since yesterday. Immediately after that's done is the Summer Festival.」 / 「オルディスは明日より領邦会議、そして《夏至祭》という状況です。」

The localization outright mistranslates "tomorrow"/"明日." The Provincial Army Soldier could've said: [Ordis will hold the Imperial Provincial Council starting tomorrow. Immediately after that's done is the Summer Festival.]

• 49:「Looking at this view, I can see why Ordis is so famous.」 / 「さすがは《紺碧の海都》と称えられるだけはある街だな。」

「The Port City, Ordis.」 / 「《紺碧の海都》オルディスへ。」
The localization refuses to establish a term for this other name that Rean and Musse call Ordis. Given some uses of the Japanese term, it could be "Saphirl Port City"; given the name of a food item in the city, perhaps "Aquamarine Port City"; even if not the same kanji, maybe "Azure Port City." As long as it's not entirely omitted from the game.

• 50:「Yeah, but once we're done sightseein', we've got a monster to kill.」 / 「そんで一通り回ったら南の浜辺で手配された魔獣をブチ倒すわけか。」

The localization omits mentioning the location of the monster. Ash could've said: [Yeah, but once we're done sightseein', we've got a monster to kill on the beach to the south/southern beach/beach south of the city.]

• 51:「I hope Luna isn't too bored.」 / 「はっはっは、ルナたちが退屈していなければいいのだが。」

The localization singles out Luna. Lord Quinn could've said: [I hope Luna and Eclair aren't too bored.]

• 52:「You're in luck. With the Summer Festival going on, the town is really buzzing with activity.」 / 「夏至祭も近いので商業区は賑わっているようです。」

The localization messes up the timeframe a little. The Provincial Army Soldier could've said: [You're in luck. With the Summer Festival happening soon, the town is really buzzing with activity.]

• 53:「My husband doesn't like things that come from the capital.」 / 「うちは旦那様が帝都資本嫌いなんです。」

Just like in Chapter 2, a maid is made to call her "master"/"lord" her husband by virtue of the fact that the Japanese term can be used for both. Pamela could've said: [My Master/Lord doesn't like things that come from the capital.]

• 54:「In addition to the taverns, there's an orbment store, and a glass workshop that is popular with the duke households.」 / 「宿酒場の他に、導力器なども扱う、公爵家御用達の硝子工房などもあります。」

It's not meant to be "households "in plural; the context here is that the glass workshop is used by the Cayenne estate. Musse could've said: [In addition to the taverns, there's an orbment store, and a glass workshop that is popular with the duke household/Cayenne/duke's estate*.]

• 55:「Guess what! My big brother is coming back tomorrow!」 /「あのね！ 今日兄ちゃんが帰ってくるんだ～っ！」

「My big brother is coming back tomorrow!」 / 「今日は兄ちゃんが帰ってくるんだよ！」
Straight up mistranslating "today"/"今日" in the localization. Luka could've said: [Guess what! My big brother is coming back today!]; And: [My big brother is coming back today!]

• 56:「Gramps is the ultimate craftsman. He even received the Golden Emblem.」 / 「じいちゃんは陛下から《黄綬勲章》を賜った最高の職人ですからね。」

The localization omits the line also havimg mention of the fact that the emperor is the award giver. Luther could've said: [Gramps is the ultimate craftsman. He even received the Golden Emblem from His Majesty himself.]

• 57:「Though, all I do nowadays is drink here!」 / 「ま、今はこの店くらいにしか卸しておらんがなぁ！」

「We get all our seafood from Rossel.」 / 「ちなみに魚介はそこのロッセルさんが卸してくれるんだ。」
The localization got this line wrong. It's not about drinking a lot, even the owner of the inn says the same, "卸して." Just as mentioned in the second line, by the tavern owner, Edmond. Old Man Rossel should've said: [Though, all I do nowadays is sell my catches here!]

• 57:「I need to make sure it doesn't compromise the beauty of this.」 / 「《輝き号》の魅力を損ねないよう、極力目立たないようにしたいけど……」

The localization chose to have the guy who's emamored with his new boat, and gave it it's own name, ultimately call it a "this." The Cheerful Man could've said: [I need to make sure it doesn't compromise Radiance's beauty.]

• 58:「I had to rid myself of some of the merchant ships my grandfather passed down to me! Aside from that little head start, I'm a self-made man!」 / 「祖父の代からの商船すらただ同然で手放すことになるなど……！」

The original isn't really about being or not being "self-made." Lord Beckford could've said: [I had to rid myself of some of the merchant ships my grandfather passed down to me as if they were worthless!]

• 59:「I mean, will all four of the Great Houses even participate? This truly is mindboggling.」 / 「そもそも四大の足並みすら揃うかどうか。……やれやれ、悩ませてくれる。」

The localization makes up the logic that the count would somehow still be in doubt of the participation of Great Houses with one day to go. Count Florald should've said: [I mean, will all four of the Great Houses' thoughts even be in alignment? This truly is mindboggling.]

• 60:「So this is a jade shell...It'd make for quite the accessory.」 / 「これがヒスイ貝か……確かに飾りに相応しいな。」

The whole point of the quest is to make "decorations"/"飾り" for the Summer Festival, and the localization decides it should be "accessory." Kurt should've said: [So this is a jade shell...It'd make for quite the decorarion.]

• 61:「We've lost enough men for one day.」 / 「ここで戦力を減らす意味など皆無だからな。」

The original doesn't make it sound like the Purple Jaegers already lost men against Rean and Class VII. The Purple Jaeger should've said: [There's no point in us losing our forces here today.]

• 62:「It's vital that we confirm if there are jaeger corps roaming the area.」 / 「この地で猟兵団が動いているのを実際に捉えたのは大きいだろう。」

The localization mistranslated this line and also makes it sound silly. None of the characters put any doubt that there are jaegers around or that the Purple Jaegers are jaegers; needing to confirm that just comes across as awkward. Patrick should've said: [It would have been great if we had actually captured those jaegers roaming the area.]

• 62:「This is a travesty! Does Marquis Ballad truly intend to reform the government like this?!」 / 「……信じられるか！？バラッド侯はまだ政府の改革案を受け入れるつもりらしいぞ。」

The original is about "accepting the government's reform plan"/"政府の改革案を受け入れる. Lord Beckford should've said: [This is a travesty! Does Marquis Ballad truly intend to accept the reforms of the government like this?!]

• 63:「We'll both be in town while the council is underway.」 / 「毎年領邦会議の時期は二人とも同じ街にいるんです。」

The original is about the lovers being in Ordis "every year"/"毎年" during the Provincial Council. Hearhcliff could've said: [We both come to town every year while the council is underway.]

• 64:「The next Duke Cayenne is about to be decided.」 / 「そろそろ現カイエン公にも判決が出される頃だよなぁ。」

The localizations not only mistranslate "current"/"現" but also "sentenced"/"判決が出される." Reins should've said: [The current Duke Cayenne is about to be sentenced.]

• 65:「Our hotel offers a taxi service.」 / 「当ホテルではラクウェルヘの送迎サービスも行っております。」

「You can enjoy the night life without worrying about the time.」 / 「鉄道のお時間を気にせず歓楽街を楽しむ事ができますよ。」
The first localized line gives the wrong idea. That would cause the second line to likely be interpreted as "Ordis' night life" when it's actually about in "Raquel"/"ラクウェル". Receptionis Harold should've said: [Our hotel offers a taxi service jto and from Raquel*.]

• 66:「Juna, see you later.」 / 「ユウナちゃんたち、お疲れ様ー。」

The localization singles out Juna, when it's her and Class VII. Louise could've said: [Juna and everyone/Everyone/Class VII, see you later.]

• 67:「Haha. Well, the three girls were so cute that I nearly--ahem, excuse me.」 / 「フフ、女の子たち３人が可愛すぎて思わず鼻血が──おっと、失敬。」

The localization leaves to the imagination, for better or for worse to some, that she got a "nosebleed"/"鼻血." Angelica could've said: [Haha. Well, the three girls were so cute that I got a nosebleed--ahem, excuse me.]

• 68:「There was a shooting near a school the other day...」 / 「この前なんて町のすぐ近くで撃ち合いがあって。」

The localization mistranslated "町" as "school," which doesn't have anything to do with it. Sister Olfa should've said: [There was a shooting near the city the other day...]

I (31F) have been married to my husband (33M) for 2 years. We have a happy marriage and 1 child together.
However, my husband often says that I am "always sitting on his head" meaning that I am pressuring him. I never feel that I am asking things in a rushed way, and he often exaggerates what my response might be for if he doesn't complete a task. IE "if i don't do this thing A you'll get mad" when I have never nor would ever get mad about thing A. I am beginning to feel like I cannot lean on him with small things without feeling like I'm throwing boulders at him. I don't want him to feel pressure, but I also want to feel like I can state my desires and needs even if they are not urgent or immediate.
As an example: I am a pumping mom and have a wearable pump. I was pumping while my son napped on me. Since he had his shots today, I didn't want to wake him to empty my milk. Keeping the pump on can be fairly uncomfortable as the milk is heavy and the silicone pulls on the n*pple. It's not something I mind too much, but is a slight discomfort. When my husband is at work and i dont want to wake my son I just leave the pump on and readjust my chest a bit so there isn't too much friction that can cause inflammation. (Still gets a bit red and sore)
A few minutes ago I said (and this is a direct quote because i always hyper analyze anything i am going to say to him if it is a request because as i stated earlier, boulders), "hey when you finish eating and you've washed your hands could you help me put my pump on the counter?" I asked in this way because he often doesnt wash his hands for a long time after he finishes eating if he is watching television (in our culture, people eat food like rice and curry with their hands so washing is needed).
I told him i was in no rush but he put down his food angrily and told me to hand him the pump. His hand was not clean and I said "no rush just when you're done eating."
He said "i cant eat peacefully because you're always pressuring me."
I don't know how to phrase requests so it doesnt sound like i am pressuring. I never am in a hurry to have something done, and I always feel my requests are small and reasonable (i dont make many requests because - as i said before- boulders)
After typing this i looked over. He is done eating and watching tv. I am afraid to ask again and am just letting myself be uncomfortable and have pain in my chest instead of making him feel pressured.
How can I ask my husband to do something later but in a way where he doesnt feel like i am "sitting on his head?"
TLDR
Even if i am in no rush, my husband feels pressured.

Viv has a pre chapter quote in FaS where she says something along the lines of “the least they could do is bring me back some souvenirs” in reference to someone traveling and teleporting etc.
So is she talking about Rei and Aria only or is she talking about the whole Fire and Song team?
If it’s the team why isn’t she with them?!
Of course I went dire in my thought process and thought for sure she was hurt or a falling out or something.
My husband today said something that literally made me tear up: “oh I thought she was a mom and that’s why she wasn’t with them.”
and of course I thought of Logan and his story and my heart shattered picturing him as a dad and how scared and terrified he would be but how much healing he’d experience in that process and how amazing Viv and Logan would be as parents compared to their shitty parental role models.
So yeah. What are your thoughts?

I confronted my dad last year about everything. I was tired of always wondering why. So I laid it all out. I asked him why do you treat me like I’m worthless but expect so much from me. Why don’t you love me. Your only daughter. Mother to your grandkids. The one that’s always there no matter what time. The only child dumb enough to stay and be near my parents. When I was in the military my parents were great. Like the parents I WISHED I had. Everyone from the outside thought I was very close to my parents. I actually didn’t speak to my parents for 3 years after enlisting. I just needed to like get out of the brainwashing. And I did. I reached out and that was it. I was sucked back in. My mom was so supportive and helpful. She would drop everything and help me or give me advice. When Covid hit I moved back home due to no jobs open. And my world imploded again. I was a small child again same cycle. I was just to far for them to abuse and then they had me right where they wanted me again. Anyways. My dad treats everyone who isn’t his immediate family like his family. Cousin going to prom? My dad rents a limo. A uncle needs 1k my dad gives him 3k. But his family is like the dirt on his shoes. My mom complies just so he will pay attention to her. She’s an attention whore. Plain and simple. She would use her kids just to get be seen by my dad. She would make elaborate stories when we were younger just so my dad would be upset with us. I grew up in a very traditional household. I was the only girl and 3 boys. I was to be seen not heard. No one believed us. Because win public we looked like show ponies. Dressed nice had manners. Yeah bc my mom would punch us in the face if we acted up and laugh and brag. Mind you I had braces. She would purposely do it and tell ppl about it. It’s one of those memories where I wish I could’ve hurt her in those moments. Back to original point. My dad could’ve cared less and I told him I was not going to claim him as my dad anymore that I was not going to be there anymore and he rolled over and went to sleep. The point to my rant was that after that I felt like shit. I felt like this persona I had in my head of what my dad would be like to actually want me and love me. that maybe just maybe one day I would have it, and I felt like I was mourning that. I realized I was never going to have it. Never. I had to accept it, to free myself of the never ending wonder. How can I mourn a person that never existed?. I literally feel like my brain was trying to protect my younger self where it made this person up. I still think about my made up dad and still cry about him. Even though my dad lives near me and I see him.

I am 29(M) and my goddaughter is 15(F). Her mom is 36(F).
My goddaughter's father was my best friend and mentor. He was family. I hate the phrase 'like a brother' because he was in every way a brother to me. We met in the military. I was 18. I've known his goddaughter for many years as well.
Cancer is what got him and during his treatment he made me promise to take care of his daughter. When he died (a year and a half ago), I helped his wife with bills, cost of funeral etc.
Moving forward, I said I would help with anything that involved his daughter (things she needed for school, clothes, books, necessary electronics etc). I am no longer part of a military but I do contract work. I have no family of my own. I grew up in the foster system. Financially, there is no strain on me to provide this support.
I don't see my goddaughter often, and her mom is currently dating someone. She asked me to come around less because her daughter is very attached to me and the mom feels this prevents her from bonding with the new boyfriend.
Around Christmas last year, my goddaughter expressed wanting to take guitar lessons. Her mom said they couldn't afford it.. I stepped in and said I'd pay. We looked into a program. I started paying the mom.
Well I recently saw my goddaughter for her birthday and I gifted her a guitar. From what I knew of the place I was paying for the lessons at, they lend guitars to kids who can't afford to own one. You can also go on a payment plan. There are a few different options. I didn't know if she would stick with the guitar lessons so I chose not to invest in buying her a guitar back then. But I'd been paying for some months now and decided to gift her a guitar she could properly call her own.
My goddaughter was extremely happy to receive this gift, but when I asked her to play something for us, she told me she doesn't know how. She then turned to ask her mom if receiving the guitar means she can finally get lessons. While this was playing out, my brow almost fell off my face.
I didn't say anything. I just gave the mom a look. We later spoke in private. Turns out she was using my money for 'general maintenance' (her exact words). I told her to elaborate, and after some pressure and being put on the spot she spilled that she's been using it on herself (hair, nails, etc).
We argued back and forth and her stance is I can give money to support them, but they get to choose what to spend it on. While I can get behind that to an extent.. the money I give should be focused on prioritizing her daughter's needs.. and she can do with her own money what she wants.
In the argument I ended up saying I will no longer give her any money. She said the only person who will suffer is my goddaughter- I'm being an asshole about it. That I shouldn't care what the money goes toward, it still helps them run their household. I didn't want to discuss it anymore. I told her let's talk later.
AITAH for only wanting my money to go towards my goddaughter?
Edit—- making a clarification. I mentioned it in a comment but it might be better off said up here:
I had no reason to believe the mom wouldn’t do what we agreed on with the money. I gave a lump sum to her and told her if her daughter dropped the lessons, she could deposit the money instead into her daughter’s 529. Turns out trusting her was my mistake. She’s been using the money for various things .. (some which are valid) majority of which are for herself. She’s not a bad mom. But I think she feels that she should be able to use the money freely. That her wellbeing also matters. It’s not that I don’t care but I’m only invested in helping the kid. That’s my priority. And that’s the disagreement.

Date: 05/15/2024

Reading time: 11 minutes, 2384 words

🪖 Military

The ceremony of withdrawal of peacekeepers from Nagorno-Karabakh took place

Russian peacekeepers were in Nagorno Karabakh based on a statement of November 9, 2020. The military group was supposed to stay in the region until 2025, which could be extended for another five years. The population of Artsakh was subjected to forced displacement, more than 100 thousand people moved from Artsakh to Armenia.

CivilNet

Armenia and Slovakia discuss issues of military-technical cooperation

Armenia participated in the IDEB-2024 defense exhibition in Bratislava, Slovakia, at the invitation of the Slovak Ministry of Defense. A number of agreements have been reached between Armenia and Slovakia.

Armenpress, Armenia, Slovakia discuss expanding defence cooperation

Armenia and India plan to create a working group on defense issues

The first defense consultations between the Ministries of Defense of Armenia and India took place under the chairmanship of Levon Ayvazyan. The progress and development prospects of Armenia-India cooperation in the field of defense were discussed, including military-technical, personnel military education and tactical training, exchange of experience and other fields.

CivilNet, Armenian and Indian Defense Ministries hold first defense consultations in Yerevan, Armenia, India hold first defense consultations

🏛️ Politics & Government

Over 52% of respondents in Armenia support Tavush for Homeland movement to certain extent, Gallup phone poll shows

A total of 35.1% of respondents in Armenia said they “fully support” the Tavush for Homeland movement, Aram Navasardyan, head of the Armenian office of GALLUP International Association, said at a press conference on Wednesday. 17.8% said they feel “more than positively” about the movement, 10% - ‘more than negatively’, 10.5% “absolutely negatively”; 13.6% found it difficult to answer the question.

ArkaAm

Civil disobedience campaigns continue in Yerevan

People demanding Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan’s resignation again blocked streets in Yerevan on May 15.

PanArmenian

The Baku court has extended the terms of detention of Artsakh officials for five months

Former presidents Bako Sahakyan, Arayik Harutyunyan, Davit Babayan and Davit Ishkhanyan are speaking. The detention period of the former President of Artsakh Arkady Ghukasyan was also extended by five months. 23 Armenian servicemen and civilians were arrested in September 2023, after a one-day war against Artsakh.

CivilNet

Political consultations held between foreign ministries of Armenia, Georgia

The Republic of Armenia and Georgia held a round of political consultations in Tbilisi on May 13-14. It is noted that the participants of the meeting reviewed the existing relations between the two countries.

Armenpress, Political consultations held between Foreign Ministries of Armenia and Georgia

Education reforms, institutional development, peace agenda implementation: PM delivers speech at EBRD annual meeting

Nikol Pashinyan attended the opening ceremony of the annual meeting of the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development in the Republic of Armenia. Armenia's economy has grown by almost 30 percent since the People's Nonviolent Velvet Revolution of 2018.

Armenpress, Prime Minister highly values the partnership with the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development, Armenian PM and EBRD President discuss joint projects and perspectives, EBRD plans to invest up to 500 million Euros in Armenia in 2024, EBRD and InecoBank bolster science innovation hub in Yerevan

Border delimitation between Armenia, Azerbaijan should become a key tool for learning peaceful coexistence - PM

Armenia and Azerbaijan lack experience and knowledge of peaceful co-existence, says Prime Minister. Pashinyan: "What you don't know brings uncertainties, concerns, tensions, which you understandably formulate and perceive based on your experience"

Armenpress, Moscow welcomes Armenia-Azerbaijan foreign ministers' negotiations in Almaty, Demarcation should become one of the tools that will teach Armenia and Azerbaijan to live peacefully – PM Pashinyan

PM Pashinyan sends congratulatory message to the Prime Minister of Serbia

Nikol Pashinyan congratulates Miloš Vučević on occasion of his election to the post of the Prime Minister of the Republic of Serbia. The message reads as follows: "Armenia values friendly relations with Serbia based on mutual respect and trust"

Armenpress

Armenia and EBRD sign €236 million agreement for Sisian-Kajaran road construction

The EBRD signed a loan agreement worth €236 million for the construction of the 24.2 km southern section of the Sisian-Kajaran North-South Road. The project is a strategic priority for Armenia, ensuring its connectivity and access to Europe and beyond.

Armenpress, EBRD plans to invest up to 500 million Euros in Armenia in 2024, EBRD grants Armenia 12 million euros for the construction of a logistics center in Syunik, EBRD funds largest road project in Armenia

Armenia and France expand cooperation in civil aviation sector

Meeting was held between the Director General, Mihran Khachatryan, and the Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary of France to the Republic of Armenia, Olivier Decottignies. Issues of strengthening and expanding cooperation between Armenia and France in the field of civil aviation were discussed.

Armenpress, French Development Agency to extend cooperation with Armenia’s government, Armenia, France extend partnership in civil aviation, Armenia and France are expanding cooperation in the field of civil aviation, Armenia, French Development Agency to expand cooperation

The delegation led by Tigran Avinyan leaves for Paris

The Yerevan delegation will visit Paris from May 15 to 19. They will meet with the president of the regional council of Île-de-France.

Armenpress, Yerevan Mayor to travel to Paris on May 15-19

Moscow sees the need to resume the work of the tripartite group on the issue of de-blockade

Moscow considers it necessary to resume work of tripartite working group co-chaired by deputy prime ministers of Russia, Armenia and Azerbaijan on blockade issue. Russian Deputy Foreign Minister Mikhail Galuzin said about it in an interview with the News.ru website: "We do not use the term Zangezur Corridor, but in favor of the complete unblocking of economic and transport communications in the South Caucasus. He also spoke about the role of Russian peacekeepers in Karabakh.

CivilNet

Armenia is waiting for the decision to join the European Peace Foundation. Pashinyan

Pashinyan: We are waiting for the decision to include Armenia in the European Peace Fund. The fund was established in 2021 to promote world peace, prevent conflicts and supply non-lethal weapons to countries in need. In mid-April, the media wrote that a preliminary agreement was reached in Brussels to provide 10 million euros to Armenia from this fund, but Hungary blocked the decision.

CivilNet

Mirzoyan to take part in Council of Europe ministers’ Committee session in Strasbourg

Ararat Mirzoyan will travel to French city of Strasbourg for a working visit on 16-17 May. He will take part in the 133rd session of the Committee of Ministers, devoted to the celebration of 75 years since the foundation of the Council of Europe.

ArkaAm, Armenian FM to participate in the session of CoE Committee of Ministers

High-Tech Minister: Armenia considers creating investment fund

Armenia’s Minister of High-Tech Industry Mkhitar Hayrapetyan discussed a potential creation of an investment fund in the country with Noubar Afeyan, the founder of venture capital firm Flagship Pioneering. Fund is expected to improve cooperation between Armenian authorities and the private sector.

ArkaAm

Armenia's policy is to diversify its foreign relations - Pashinyan

Armenia's policy is to diversify its foreign relations in all areas, Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan said at Copenhagen Democracy Summit. "We are happy about the deployment of the EU Civilian Monitoring Mission on the border between Armenia and Azerbaijan," he said. The prime minister said that the EU decision on Armenia's inclusion in the European Peace Facility is now awaited.

ArkaAm

Moscow slams EU mission in Armenia for “provocative activity”

The EU mission is doing more and more against Armenia’s neighbors Russia, Azerbaijan and Iran, Mikhail Galuzin said.

PanArmenian

Uruguay Chamber of Representatives votes to submit draft law on the Armenian Genocide Memorial Day to executive branch

Chamber of Representatives of Uruguay on May 14 unanimously passed the draft law declaring April 24 as Armenian Genocide Memorial Day in Uruguay, 74 votes in favor by the 74 MPs present. After the executive's approval within 10 days, the law will come into force immediately, the Armenian Embassy in Uruguay said in a post on Facebook.

Armenpress, Uruguay House of Representatives approves billdeclaring April 24 as Armenian Genocide Remembrance Day

Slovak PM in ‘life-threatening condition’ after being shot

Slovakia's Prime Minister Robert Fico is fighting for his life after he was shot multiple times following a government meeting. Fico's condition is life-threatening and he’s being flown by helicopter to hospital for emergency treatment.

Armenpress, Slovak PM Fico in hospital after being shot, Violence has no place in politics: Armenian PM wishes speedy recovery to Slovakia’s Robert Fico, Slovak PM in life-threatening condition after assassination attempt, Slovak PM Fico in hospital after being shot

Zelenskiy cancels visit to Spain and Portugal

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy has cancelled a visit to Spain and Portugal, authorities said on Wednesday. CNN Portugal and other media reported it was because of renewed fighting in his country. Spain's King Felipe of Spain had been due to hold a reception and host a meal in his honour. He had also been expected to sign a bilateral security cooperation agreement.

Armenpress

The Power of One Dram Sums up the Two-Year Program with Teach for Armenia

During November and December 2021, AMD 9,328,753 was transferred to the “Teach for Armenia” educational foundation. The amount gathered within the framework of “The Power of One Dram” initiative of IDBank and Idram. As a result, two schools of Aragatsotn Region have been conducting an education program based on change for two years.

Armenpress, Power of One Dram sums up two-year program with Teach for Armenia

Blinken, guitar in hand, sings ‘Rockin’ in the Free World’ in Kyiv bar

U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken plays guitar and sings Neil Young's "Rockin' in the Free World" with a local band. Blinken assured Ukrainians they are not alone and that billions of dollars in American military aid on its way will make a "real difference" on the battlefield.

Armenpress

Armenia’s ruling party frames anti-government protesters as ‘Russia-backed’ on social media: DEMOCRACY WATCH #4

A CivilNet investigation has found that the campaigns, mostly on Facebook, are generated by the country’s ruling party. Among the main targets is the leader of the protest movement Archbishop Bagrat Galstanyan, the Primate of the Tavush Diocese. They circulate videos and photos suggesting his involvement in a “Russian plan to destabilize Armenia”

CivilNet, Echoes of Déjà Vu: Reviving Resistance in Armenia, Archbishop Bagrat: This is our first victory

India and Iran have announced the launch of the Chabahar port development project

India and Iran signed a ten-year agreement on the development and operation of Iran's Chabahar port. The agreement aims to expand regional communication and facilitate trade, particularly between India, Iran and Afghanistan. India has invested in the infrastructure and modernization of the port, making it a viable transit route for Indian goods to Afghanistan and Central Asia.

CivilNet

U.S. warns Georgia not to side with Moscow against the west

Georgia has been warned by the U.S. not to become an adversary of the west by falling back in line with Moscow.

PanArmenian

💵 Economy

EBRD predicts Armenia’s economy to grow by 6.2% in 2024

The European Bank for Reconstruction and Development expects Armenia’s economy to grow by 6.2% in 2024 and 4,8% in 2025. The EBRD forecasted a 4.5% economic growth in 2024 for Armenia in its previous report, published in September 2023. The World Bank expects the Armenian economy to. grow by 5.5%, the IMF predicts 5% growth for the country's economy in 2024.

ArkaAm

VTB (Armenia) expands opportunities for cross-border money transfers by phone number

Retail customers of VTB Bank (Armenia) can receive money transfers from Russia by phone number. Funds are credited instantly to the recipient's account or card in national currency. In 2023, the bank's retail customers received more than 94 thousand money transfers.

ArkaAm, VTB-Armenia Bank has expanded the possibilities of international transfers by telephone

EBRD has significantly improved the forecast of the growth of the Armenian economy in 2024 to 6.2%

The EBRD predicts 6.2 percent economic growth in Armenia in 2024, and 4.8 percent in 2025. The World Bank expects that Armenia's economy will grow by 5.5 percent in 2024. The IMF predicts a 5 percent growth for the country's economy in 2024 and 2025.

ArkaAm

Donations to Armenia:

Himnadram
ServicemenFund
Armenian Wounded Heroes
ArmeniaFund

Hello. Im posting in this subreddit as i have yet to find an answer to my questionable situation. I have this friend which i spent most of my hours at school with, and sometimes even after school, (though rarely). We met roughly a year ago and in very unpleasant circumstances, i was going thru alot as a person and as well as the new kid at the school, he was likewise experiencing an unpleasant amount of nudging from our classmates, (Although not in protest for his new arrival in the school, as hed been there for years) even though he is generarly a good and honest kid. Needless to say, during that first span of few months in the new school (a year ago currently) i went up to him and slowly yet steadily we became very close, we hang out at lunch, at our classes we were desk-mates and we'd walk to the bus stop together... As is evident, we became close friends, and currently i can even talk to him about my deepest concerns in life, though hes not much of a comforting guy, i nevertheless found and still find reassurance just by him allowing me to talk about my problems. Our friendship has gone thru a lot of distortions, friend-group breakups, new friends, but i unfortunately believe our friendship is unable of adjusting to the new person of which i am becoming.
I used to be a very troubled kid, id smoke a lot, drink if given the chance, and i was deep in depression. If i had the chance to be intoxicated i would to it uncontrollably which didn't helped the addiction genes passed on from my family. I used to have no interest in school, no future goals, no literature, or the wellness of myself and body. I used to seek external approval, from my classmates as well as from strangers. I've got a feeling i sound pretentious at the moment, but bear with me. I have now become a completely different person, though i admit i still hold some traits as before, for example, i would smoke or drink but not excessivly as i did before, though undoubtibly its not my biggest worry at the moment. I have now started studying, set up some high goals for the future for which i pleasantly prepare for, i have the dream of becoming a special forces operator in my home-country one day and that is possible starting from a military academy. That academy requires plenty of studying and preparations which i find contentment in doing.
It goes without saying, i am not the same person i was, yet i fear our friendship is stuck in the past. He has started calling me stupid or dumb infront of our friendgroup, and one of them has also picked up on the same habit, though less frequently. I hope my friend expresses it in a joking manner rather than a serious intently-offensive manner (as we usually harmlessly joke around. Now in brainrot mostly from my part), though i fear theres more to that.
I, in real life, do not use such vocabulary, and my way of expression doesn't not align with the one i have in this post, for as i like being and feeling an easy going 'momentum' if not needed otherwise, i slouch and i walk in a relaxed manner, i sometimes act aloof as it brings me a sense of calmness and carelessness. Regardless, as i did not acted in an announcement fully regarding my new way of being, i have shared some goals and ambitions, aswell as frequent training progresses with him and some of our friends. Im not sure whether im taken seriously though, only comments are ''nice'' or ''cool'' , unfortunatly their microaggressions have yet to stop, im usually not taken seriously when speaking in an anything other than aloof manner. And those 'stupid', 'slow', 'dumb' responses to my expressions are exaggerated, spoken loudly with a feeling of exasperation, and that is, to things that just happen to be some silly mistakes, as for when i forgot my book, stuttered at a word, or when speaking slow. I just speak in brainrot (skibidi toilet, munting, jelking and etc), not fully, but in quiet environments in order to spark up a laugh, a few managable words.
i have yet to improve my need for others approval though its in a better state than before. Although, i believe that i want of approval from ones imposingly good friends is not instinctively bad, i used to consider these guys good pals, ones ill want to keep in touch in the future, but as for now, im starting to grow a disinterest and disgust in the way they treat me.
I hate to admit that these comments have impacted me to a level -that i do not find appropriate for my self-progression. I fear that i am the quote on quote 'stupid' friend of the group, which i would not find in any way hurtful if it wasn't for the complete disinterest and indifference when i do not express in their 'biased' and stereotyped self of me, commonly resulting in my progress going undermined and/or completely ignored.
What should i do? I have yet to speak to my friend about this, or our other friend, though i fear if they were to shown compassion, it would be an artificial one, a pity disguised as compassion and understanding. I have now stopped informing my friends about my random funny incidents which, long ago, would bring in a good sincere laugh with no hidden haughtiness from their part.
The reason why i am asking this is because i also have another friend which i do not share the same school with but he has known me longer than the others have, and hes really sweet and supportive, i consider our friendship with that guy from a different school to be sincere and healthy. We can joke around and still indulge in deep conversation from both parts... Comparing these two friendships have put me into a thinking spiral, regarding my perceived self and my actual self, a healthy friendship and ones thats taking a toll on me, making me question my abilities... I hate that their words impact me even the slightest, and im starting to feel a strain on our friendship as i can no longer share meaningful subject with them nor random silly instances as i will be taken with an offensive unseriousness regarding what im speaking of...
To add, ive also recently started receiving comments labeling me as a narc or drug user (referring to their slow nature of speaking and thinking) and even sometimes as homeless, which worsens this situation deeply. The reason as to why i speak in a managable slow pace or i randomly stop talking in order to think is to be sure of what to say so they wont have any chances of labeling me as an idiot, though now, it seems inevitable.
This is too long, what should i do?Cut em out? I dont understand why they are treating me this way.. im too deep in and the year school ends soon, i fear this friendship wont hold after the year's end, as well as the new beginnings arrivals.

Please note this is the original submission I sent Refinery29. In the current post,they have given me a second credit card with a 100$ balance, as well as generational trauma from World War II and cut context for other things. I am trying to get that fixed.
Per previous discussion in comments here: The espresso machine is a Bezzera, which ranges from 2-5K. We got ours on sale for 1.7K, it’s a work house and we use it everyday, still hurts that we spent that money on a coffee maker.
I do understand mortgage is debt but when you compare it to rent to a lesser value condo in Vancouver it feels like not debt at all, which is how I tend to think of it. Yes I owe my mortgage but also I get my house instead of renting-which may not have become clear.
Please see in full the diary, below (edit for formatting via mobile)
Occupation: Sr Business Analyst
Industry: Tech
Age: 30
Location: Vancouver Island, BC
Salary: 92,000$ (Spouse makes 60,000$ for a combined income of 152,000$ before tax)
Net Worth: ~ 1.2 Million ( house is valued at 989,000$ currently, we have a combined 150,000 in pension, and ~60,000 in various company stocks, and GICs)
Debt: 3,000$ in a zero interest credit card for a 10 month period. We balanced transferred and pay 400$/month. Debt was acquired in Q4 2023 when we had to buy Snow Tires, and do a full break replacement as well as Christmas. 480,000$ in a mortgage, we refinanced in September 2023 for five years fixed rate at accelerated biweekly, however I don’t consider our mortgage debt due to the equity we are gaining, and that our mortgage for a five bedroom, 3 bath single family home is less than rent for a two bedroom condo in Vancouver
Paycheck Amount (Every 2 Weeks): 2,555$ after taxes. (Just mine). Spouse makes 2,308$ after taxes. Our pay periods are alternating.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses Mortgage: 1450$ biweekly (100$ extra to the principal).
Utilities: ~200$ (includes water [paid quarterly], hydro [paid bimonthly], gas, sewetrash [paid quarterly] phone [highly discounted due to work plans for spouse and myself] and car gas) Loan Payments: 400$/Credit Card
Car Insurance: 84$
Life Insurance: 167$ combined (67$ me, 100$ spouse)
Health & Dental Insurance: 60$ deducted from pay (coverage for myself and spouse from my employer. Spouse also has coverage for both of us deducted from pay)
Retirement Contribution: 400$ (Employee matches me), (Spouse has a defined pension through work and contributes ~200$ month)
Union fees: 70$ Spouse
Subscriptions: Crave 22$/month (Recent splurge for Binge watching the Rookie), Playstation Plus 100$ (annual bought on Black Friday Deal), Amazon Prime 80$ (Annual), BCAA 120$ (annual) Gym 30$/month (we both have one so 15$/pp)
Note: My spouse and I have completely commingled finances. I will be tracking both as it’s essentially I spent whatever they spent
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
There was always the expectation. My father was very clear, we were very smart. There was no way we’d be wasting our potential. He wanted me to be a lawyer, but unlike other immigrant parents, I got to choose my major and went into social sciences and got my masters in history. I deferred my PhD too much so I got dropped by the program.
I chose my university by where I got a full first year scholarship and then after that took about 15k in student loans for my undergraduate. My parents paid my rent and I got a part time job for food.
For my masters, I had a student line of credit and 5 k student loans otherwise it was all my savings and scholarships. With the line of credit, I had a total of 30K in student loans and paid it off in about four years.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Save. We talked about how you get a dollar allowance and half of it goes into long term saving with 25% in short term and 25% in spend.
Investing came after I was eighteen. Family would like us to invest in property, however I don’t really want to be a landlord, but also we wouldn’t get to really enjoy profit of owning a rental property due to other family circumstances.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
Ice cream parlour I was twelve and my parents made me get it for responsibility. I lasted three weeks because I hated it.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I grew up thinking we were not rich, because we didn’t get big plane vacations (I didn’t count flying from Toronto to Vancouver every summer as a vacation since we were just seeing family but staying in a house my parents owned) and I had only been to Disney twice.
But we had a big new build house in the rich end of town, my mom stayed home to raise all of us. We had to work for things (like going to see a movie opening night or a new CD) but we always had money and got what we wanted. In retrospect, my family was/is fairly well off.
Both my parents grew up poor, with parents working multiple jobs and different shifts to make ends meet, the strive/drive to not have that childhood, and for my father to be able to retire his parents really impacted mine and my siblings and cousins lives. My father showed me the apartment he grew up in Chinatown a few years back. It’s light years away from the house my grandparents owned when I was a kid and how I grew up.
Do you worry about money now?
Of course. Inflation is real and we are actively planning a wedding for the next year, as well as a baby in the next few years. We also need to buy a second car, so we’re saving for that.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Fully financially responsible? Twenty five. I lived in a family property where I didn’t pay rent in one of the most expensive cities in Canada, so even though I paid all my bills (food and phone), I didn’t have to pay rent. I in fact made money, as I rented rooms out and used the income for house utilities, and paying my student loans down faster. When I moved in with my spouse, I just paid condo fees until we bought our house two years ago which gave me plenty of time to save.
Our financial safety net is family, and our savings. I know my family would bail us out. My spouse’s father would as well. Conversely, we are my spouse’s mother's safety net and we have to keep all our plans in mind that we will be subsidising her.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. Yes, I received 50K from my parents once they sold my childhood home, as did both of my siblings. I have also received 10K from one set of grandparents which paid off my car and part of my student loans when I was 21. I will be receiving another inheritance when probate is done for around ~100K. My spouse also has received inheritance which allowed them to buy their first condo in their early twenties when the market was much better. That condo, 50k, and the subsequent upgrading helped us afford our house.
Day 1
10 AM: I drive to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. Not how I want to start my Sunday morning but y’know. Normally I’d walk since it’s about 20 minutes but I have a UTI. I’m “lucky” that despite not having a dr because of the health care shortage, my work pays for the Maple app so I could get a dr to write the prescription and order the lab work at 1 am. I’ll do the lab work later this week when I can get an appointment but will take the relief now. Insurance makes the antibiotics free, but I also buy hydrogen peroxide because we’re out and we have a dog that thinks everything is meant to be in her mouth. We’ll buy a bigger one at Costco later. I also bought some oral wound mouthwash because we were out. I come home and my spouse made us breakfast.
Total: 15.90$ paid with debit.
1-2:30 PM: We do our taxes. I have a mini meltdown when I realize the part time bakery job I had for a few months didn’t take off income tax last year, so I owe 800$. Luckily, my partner is getting a refund so we net out positive 400$. The bakery took off income tax in 2022, so unsure why they didn’t in 2023. I made us lunch.
3-6:30 PM: We walk the dog, and watch the Rookie. Some time during that time period, a venue emails us back and is surprisingly affordable at 3k. I also get told that the tattoo artist I want to book with, has not chosen me.
6:30-7:30 PM: I explain what lazy girl dinner is to my spouse and make a lazy girl dinner. After not really grocery shopping since Feb for things besides fresh veg, we need to do a big pantry shop and neither of us want that. We debate about buying a food saver and if we should wait for a sale. My spouse is more frugal than me and has determined we should.
8-9:30 PM: We start season 3 of The Rookie, and then after two episodes we go to bed
Day One Total: 15.90$
Day Two
5:45-8 AM: Wake up and start work. I get up to date with what’s happened on the weekend and check that my automated reports. Sometime before 6:30, I get the kettle on for my spouse’s pour over before I go back to my meetings. There’s a twenty minute gap where I get changed and do my skin care and brush my teeth. I’d love to be a skin care person but honestly I’ve spent too much money on product that I don’t use and that just goes bad. Washing my face and using sun screen is a win.
I also make sure that Spouse’s lunch is in his bag and I get our travel mugs ready. Before, we used to go to Starbucks every day. Starbucks used to do free refills on coffee and tea if you were a rewards member if you bought a coffee or tea so it would cost us $5/day (2.5/pp), and we could get refills all day. While that’s 20$/week, 80$/a month and yes, we could have saved it but back then, that 80$ wasn’t turning the dial anywhere significantly for us—a privileged view.
But now, after COVID where I stopped drinking tea after one day working from home having like 10 cups and thinking I was dying, and Spouse has bought a good grinder and we recently splurged on a stupidly expensive espresso machine we call his Engagement Espresso since it costs the same price as my stupidly expensive ring, we bring our coffees.
8-8:30 AM: We drive to work. Prior to buying our house, we were both work from home and lived in a city with amazing transit. We only needed the one car. Since buying the house and moving to a city where public transit is a joke (the one bus goes past our house every 1.5h), Spouse changed jobs and is in office every day and I have to go in 3 days a week. We need a second car or the e-bike rebate to come through. We debate this in the car, since I’m done at 1 pm, and Spouse works normal hours, I either have to take the bus home, or go to the gym for three hours. Today though, I drop Spouse off. I will pick him up later as he has a half day because of the dentist
8:30-12:30 AM/PM: Work. I find a tech manager and ask them to get me more triple a batteries. Work won’t provide or let me expense batteries for my mouse, despite them replacing my usb mouse with a battery one. The poor admin had to tell me the decision is that we’ll all supply our own batteries. Luckily the tech managers have to have batteries on hand and give them out freely.
I ask my boss how the work from home tax forms work, and he is going to find out.
I run more meetings and work on a request for a dashboard and a business case for a new feature that I have to convince leadership to spend money on.
12:30-1 PM: I drive back to my Spouse because he has a dentist appointment.
While I wait for a spouse, I am incredibly hungry. I’m usually not hungry/don’t eat a proper meal until around 1 in the afternoon and my two granola bars I already ate at the office. I go to the bakery by Spouse’s work and buy a cheese bun for me (3.65$), and an apple pie scone (2.55$) for Spouse as a snack. Spouse points out he won’t be able to eat until after his appointment.
Total: 6.20$ debit
1-1:30 PM: I drop Spouse off, and the car stops working. The engine won’t catch. I try multiple times and then run into the dentist to dramatically announce to Spouse and the receptionists that the car won’t start. Spouse asks me what he wants me to do about this, since he’s about to go into an appointment. A very kind receptionist tells me it might be the alternator. I don’t know what that is.
I go back to the car to Facetime my father. He also asks what I think he can do to help since he lives 3000 km away. Weirdly, and sexistly, I thought a man who grew up at race tracks, in a racing family, or the man who has collected and worked on sports cars for forty years might be able to help.
Spouse texts me to remind me we have BCAA while my father also tells me that. I finally get the engine to catch and drive the very long way home, going the speed limit and getting stuck in traffic, construction and a bus. It takes me 20 minutes to get home instead of 10.
1:30-2:30 PM: I walk the dog, mail a (late) birthday card and then start researching what an alternator is. The car is over a decade old and until the house, the most expensive thing I ever bought at 12K back in 2015. We have the funds for the cost, but it’s my first car and the fact it might be the end of its life is scary.
Alternators can cost between 400-800$ repair with labour, so that’s fun.
My dad calls me back and apologises for asking me what he could do away. He advises me that there’s probably a bald spot on the alternator and advises me to go to the mechanic to check or replace it, if the car doesn’t start again.
I call the mechanic to book an appointment, and to also get the snow tires off and to buy new rims for the snow tires. The mechanic lets me know that the alternator part is 500$, and an hour of labour so with taxes we’re looking at around 700$
That future appointment next week (we’re going down a highway this weekend which requires snow tires) will cost ~1.5K, assuming we replace the alternator.
I make lunch and sigh.
2:30 PM: The car starts thankfully. I drive incredibly slow. I pick up Spouse by idling the car. We get an email back from a venue saying they cost 75,000$ minimum. The timing is hysterical.
Due to the nature of the dentist, Spouse owes 618$, as they haven’t flipped it under my insurance. They split it in half, as he has a follow up in two weeks. After the next appointment they will flip the whole amount under me and we’ll get reimbursed for the whole amount.
Total 309$/credit card.
3-10 PM: We walk the dog, make dinner (Spouse makes white sauce pasta, with chicken and peas) and watch The Rookie. There are thirteen episodes in season three, and we will be busy every night this week besides Friday and Sunday, and I would like to finish season three so we can start season 4 next Monday. I don’t want to pay for more than one month of Crave. We have five episodes left
Day Two Total: 315.2$
Day Three
1 AM: 100$ is automatically transferred from our account to the credit card debit. We have an auto transfer of 100$/every Tuesday to a Visa where we balance transferred both our cards. We have an offer for 0 interest for 10 months, so we did that for some of the bigger expenses (snow tires, break replacement and general Christmas) and are on track to pay it back within the next 6 months. That visa is our emergency card that we just have in the back end and utilise for promos like this. It allows us to keep our two cards balances manageable and lets us pay in an easier way than taking big chunks out of our various savings.
Total: 100$/direct deposit
5:45-9 AM: Work. Meetings, reports, trying to convince a colleague that the process does include them and refusal to follow it means that their requests won’t be done. Spouse has another half day so I can go into the office at my leisure—if the car starts
9-9:20 AM: The car starts, I get into the office and refresh a data flow before a meeting with a new stake holder. It takes longer to drive into work today because the tourists are starting to come and their van builds or campers are not exactly highway speed and with a two lane highway, if you don’t merge over fast enough you’re stuck.
10:05-10:20 AM: Meeting done, car starts again and I drive home for more meetings. The least amount of time in the office is preferable for me.
10:30-11AM : Meeting with my manager where we discuss future salary and promotion. I am due for a promotion in the start of Q2, which would push me to six figures. I’ll believe it when I see it but, I’m really excited at that possibility for my family.
11:15 AM: Spouse leaves for work, we discuss what groceries are needed, as well if he’ll go to Home Depot tonight to buy more clover seeds for the yard, as we need to reseed before it starts raining. I eat a muffin and my dog and cat decide to try and eat each other.
11:15-1:30 PM: Work runs late. There’s some issues with the data and we can’t figure it out. We call it a night, and I’ll record the video presentations tomorrow, once we fix the data.
1:30-4 PM: Nap time! It’s bad for me, but honestly I don’t sleep well during the night so naps are what keep me alive.
4-6 PM I prep dinner (smash burgers and fries), and get chores done and walk the dog.
6-7:30 PM: Spouse comes home, we eat dinner. Groceries come to 96.83 for two 7 pound pork loins, two packs of bacon, chicken nuggets, coffee, pop, 8 pack of peppers, milk, tomato, pickles, rice, avocado, mushrooms, sour cream and lettuce.
Not too bad, we average about 300$/month in groceries because we can buy bulk and have a second freezer.
For the month of March we are currently at 123.61$ for groceries and there is twelve days left. We went on a small weekend away, so we ate out a fair bit but even then our current food budget is 272.27$ today.
Total: 96.83/ debit
7:30-10 PM: Spouse makes a coffee and plays video games with his friends. They do it every week. I have a shower, fold and put away laundry and read in bed.
Day Three Total: 196.83
Day Four
1AM: Our biweekly accelerated mortgage payment comes out of 1450$. I’m tracking it here to be honest on our spending but I tend not to think of it as money spent because in my head it’s already money gone. To pay for a house equivalent in Vancouver, the mortgage would be over 6k. Renting a two bedroom condo would be 3K. It feels like the mortgage is just cheaper rent, even though each time I own more of my house.
5:45-9 AM: Work. I find out the limits of how many people I can invite to a Teams Meeting as well as that the Thursday before Good Friday is a catholic holiday when a few people ask me to reschedule a training forum for over a thousand people. Sometime in there I make us coffee, make sure Spouse has lunch packed (leftovers). Spouse has walked the dog and has the recycling and compost out for pick up. I drop Spouse off at work.
10-11:45 AM: I leave the office for home and more meetings. I walk the dog and go record training videos. I get an email that Amazon is doing their big spring sale. I send a link to a robot mop and vaccum that’s on a big discount to Spouse. We want one, but I’m not in charge of the research on it. I send links to play grounds to my friends with toddlers
11:45-12:30 PM : I shove lunch in my mouth, last night’s left overs. I’m running late, and decide to get myself later by collecting all the random dishes and mugs that just show up places and start the dishwasher. I get to the lab ten minutes early but need to buy gas on the way home.
I tell my team I’ll be MIA for a bit and leave the work phone in the car.
I buy 15.6L of gas for 30$ at 1.879/l it sucks. I don’t fill up because we’re going to my in laws this weekend and there’s a Costco Gas Bar there.
Total: 30$/credit card
12:30-1:30 PM: Work goes long again.
1:30-2:30 PM: Nap!
2:30-4:30 PM: Walk the dog and drive to the gym. I usually go three times a week but with last week’s weekend away and this week’s weird half days from Spouse, today’s the only day. I make it up by doing both upper and lower body and a 30 minute circuit.
4:30-7:30 PM: I pick up Spouse and we go to Costco. We pick up nachos, ham, cheese buns and some other items. We debate buying our friend’s kid a toddler set of clothes and decide no. We end up buying work pants for Spouse, and a garden hose. It comes out to 116.90
I order our Costco dinner of hot dogs and fries for a grand total date night of 6.41$
Total: 123.31/ credit card
8-9 PM: Dance class! We bought a series of six lessons of introduction to ballroom back in December for a new date night idea. We paid 60$/pp and this is the fifth lesson tonight.
9 pm: We’re home, we let the dog out. Spouse spends an undetermined amount of time watching ballroom videos while I sleep.
Day Four Total: 1603.31$ or 153.31 excluding the mortgage payment.
Day Five
5:45-9 AM: Work. All the meetings. Thursday is the meeting day. I debate with a friend what’s the earliest call we’ve had. 4:30 am still wins. I pack lunch for Spouse and his coffee and he leaves. I end up cleaning up cat puke as the cat decides to drink milk from Spouse’s cereal and vomit it up on camera in a meeting.
9-9:30 AM: I make myself a matcha and walk the dog.
9:30-1 PM: Work and I treat myself to a lunch of a cheese bun and ham sandwhich. We used to eat it every Sunday while growing up but the cost of ham has been outrageous. The deal at Costco yesterday was 1.5$/100 g which is really good.
1-1:30 PM: I seal the wooden deer Christmas decoration we bought last year. It sits outside our front door and needs to be weather proofed, and I’ve been putting it off for five months. But the weather is good and we have newspapers. We have left over wood sealer after the sign we bought a year ago so I use that. The dog and the cat both don’t like my wooden deer.
1:30-4 PM: Nap!
4-5 PM: I basically just watch youtube and drink a root beer. I have no energy.
5-6:30 PM: Spouse comes home, we walk the dog and I make dinner (Kraft Dinner and nuggets–I swear we eat veggies but today is not that day). We discuss the possibility of our dog at our wedding as a flower girl, and if she’ll be in a tutu or a cheongsam like me. I am now researching if they make dog cheongsams and if she can match us. The cat, despite all my heart wanting it, won’t physically be there because he will have an anxiety attack and probably die.
6:30-10:30 PM: Board game night! We go to a friend’s to repeat the same scenario we’ve lost two weeks in a row.
10:30-11 PM: I pack Spouse’s breakfast (oatmeal and frozen berries), lunch (spicy tuna and mayo) since he’s trying to go to the gym before work, and feed the animals before we go to bed.
Day Five Total: 0$
Day Six Friday
5:45-9 AM: Work. I have a deep focus block which means I can get the script for the training I have to run. Public speaking is not my strong suit and it’s a group of a thousand people so I’m not looking forward to it. Spouse almost makes it to the gym. I get an email that my new work phone has shipped. I’m surprised because they wouldn’t order us any for the past four years, but I guess my new iPhone will show up next week. I might give my old work phone to my mother in law, since she smashed the camera on the phone we bought her last year.
9-9:30 AM: I walk the dog, make a matcha and make a todo list for what we have to get done before we leave to my in laws tomorrow. I text my mother in law happy birthday, and hope that she got the card in time. She did.
9:30-11:30 AM: My last meeting for the week ends and I’m debating calling it a day so I can nap. Instead I make lunch (cheese bun and ham), text my other mother in law our plan for Saturday, and unload and reload the dishwasher and go back to work for at least another hour.
12:30-1 PM: I shower and do skin care
1-3 PM: Nap! Somewhere in this time FedEx comes and since I’m sleeping, we have to pick up on Monday. I’m not too sure what it is, I assume it’s our custom address stamp from Etsy because that’s the only thing I’ve bought recently but not too sure. I just realized in retrospect, this might be my new work phone.
3-5 PM: I prep dinner (nachos), unload the dishwasher, pack my overnight bag and confirm all our venue tours by email. I start a load of laundry and do a quick clean. I feel like this is not the best image of our diet. I swear we generally eat healthy but we both have been feeling really blah over the past two weeks so have been going for quick and easy over healthy and balanced. I do have three whole peppers and two whole avocados in the nachos though.
5-7 PM: Spouse comes home, we walk the dog, have dinner, and plan out next week. We have a big Wednesday next week (mechanic, I have a nails appointment, dance class), and we are having our friends over for Easter so we need to prep for that. We pack the car so tomorrow is a very easy start.
Spouse also gets paid today. We’re lucky that we’re on alternating pay periods, we used to be on the same and it always felt stressful. Spouse also lets me know his union has secured a 3% cost of living raise to start in Q3. I really like his union for negotiating a base 2% year of cost of living raise, with potential addition raises depending on inflation. It’s a bit away but that’s still good news.
7:30-10:30 PM: We finish The Rookie Season 3 and head to bed. Crave reminds me that I have 10 days until I’m charged again. Sadly, I think we’ll have to pay for 2 months.
Day Six Total: 0
Day Seven Saturday
8:30-9:30 AM: Wake up. No one (except the dog) slept well so we’re not in a morning mood. Spouse makes coffee and walks the dog, while I finish packing the car and give the cat a lot of attention. Our first venue tour is at 11 and the one that is the most expensive (8-10K), but also the one we probably want the most. We live about an hour away but the highway is two lanes and one accident can back everything up for hours.
10:40-1 PM: We visit our dream venue. We stay way longer than expected. Basically if the quote is under 10K, we’ll get it. Just waiting now.
1-2 PM: We get to our in-laws and have a lunch of egg salad sandwhichs. We need to buy gas. My in laws drive us to a pottery painting store.
2-4 PM: We paint pottery. My mother in law only wanted to do this for her birthday. They’ll pick it up in a week after it’s been thrown. I paint a vase (28$), Spouse paints an Easter egg (18$), father in law paints a mug (30$), and mother in law paints a plate (50$)
Total:143.36/credit card
4-5 Pm: We see another venue. It’s an instant no. My in laws decide they want to try Korean fried chicken. We call ahead for take out to get two fries and 16 pieces of half and half. It comes to 50.83$ that my in laws pay for.
5-10 PM: We come back and see that our dog has pooped in their house and also has gotten into their pantry and eaten an entire bag of dog food. It is not a fun night.
We spend the night drinking wine and discussing the wedding and watching TV.
10PM: We go to bed. That’s the end of this week, but tomorrow we will be buying gas and probably lunch for my other mother in law as we will be touring another venue.
Day Seven Total: 143.36$

PLEASE keep this off TikTok and other platforms I really don’t want to create drama or get this to my family would really just like advice thank you!
Hi I am a long term Reddit reader and I don’t know what else to do or who else to turn to I am getting married to the love of my life and I couldn’t be happier!! I am very sorry for the long post but I’m just gonna hop right in. It all started last year when my fiance was planning to propose to me unlike regular proposing I had known and we talked about it and doing it on our 2 year mark together and I was super excited my whole family new and it was all planned out but about 1 months before our anniversary my brother told me he was going to propose to his girlfriend and being a long Reddit reader I know people are going to ask they hadn’t even been together for a year i am all for if you know it’s true love go for it no matter the time but their relationship hadn’t been the best one but it’s what he wanted to do what upset me was he didn’t want to propose yet and he had told me so as me and him are very very close and it got me very upset last year because the whole family new of our plans and he didn’t even want to propose why do it right before ours I had a hard upbringing and wanted a day to myself to feel loved and have the spot light but now it would be shared as now you are proposing to her even though it’s 1 months it still greatly affected me and our parents had felt I’m over reacting and it’s just a engagement in there words “ it’s just a engagement it’s not your actual wedding I don’t understand why you are upset” and I was like what ever and my brother did understand why I was so upset and he changed the plan even though his plan was but the ring and do it that day which was many months before where we could have our separate moments it still upset me. Now there has been other instances where either our nails became the same color or our date plans our jewelry or quote on quote advice about people little things but the one of the now is. My brother and my mom had come down to visit me for my birthday last month and my fiance told them that we are getting married this year a simple family only day and next year would be our big one for everyone else and to save up money for plane tickets and stuff as it would be in November I told my dad and my sister so immediate family knows who are the only ones coming and that’s brings us to today where my brother now text me saying him and his fiance are getting married this year in September and want to know if me and my fiance would make it and I instantly broke down crying I called my fiance at work and told her everything she is very mad as well because she doesn’t understand why all of this is happening she noticed my sister in law in many little ways copying me ( how childish that sounds) but now it’s becoming into our big events and I really don’t know what to do I talked to my brother and he understood how I felt and I am the one in the family who lives 1600 miles away and is the one over reacting and don’t see what goes on there and everyone feels I am over reacting and can just drop everything to go visit when I can’t I have bills dogs and me and my fiance don’t have friends here who can walk and feed them and that’s just a whole other story I just I really hope all this made sense and people can give me advice and understand where I’m coming from! This is really taking a toll on my mental health and I need to stand up to my family it’s just I don’t know how and I don’t want to lose my brother but I don’t wanna sound like a asshole but I can’t keep doing this and I don’t want to upset him when I know he has his own issues and add more to his plate you know?

Forgive me for the initial ambiguity. I am not certain how to proceed, I just know that I have been given the green light to share this initial post. Take it for what it is:
Far too many are spending too much time and energy trying to solve a problem they don’t even have the right set of integers. It is quite literally impossible. Have you not ever wondered why great researchers who spend thousands of hours cannot land on anything concrete ?
Men and women have dedicated their life to figuring out the connections between the anomalous, to ultimately give up, or they ran out of time on this mortal coil. God forbid someone stumble onto the truth, and then conveniently get suicided. All of this connected, and really that is the point: Connection.
Currently, our government has spent trillions to solve this problem and to figure out who they are in bed with, and still they are in the dark. But many of them are okay with that as long as their pockets keep filling. See, for the Problem, existing in the shadows is their identity. The Problem excels in confusion and chaos. In drawing someone in just enough to keep them digging, but then driving them mad by having them feel around in the dark.
It is like Humanity is in a dark room. A big room, like a warehouse. And we are in the pitch black trying to find the light switch. Only, when someone gets too close, they either get turned the other direction, get tripped up, get locked up, or get gone. All the while, a few have on night vision goggles and orchestrate all the aimless wondering. Every once in a while, the searcher will stumble across a technology that pushes them towards the light switch, to then be thrown off course and continue to walk around aimlessly. In the pitch black, when someone “discovers” something, the others wondering around will begin to flock to that glimmer, to then be sidelined once again because the Problem loves to move large numbers of people towards an objective. It is a frustrating process and one that will continue until the lights are turned on.
However, many of our best and brightest have been co-opted to keep anyone and everyone from knowing the truth. They have falsely believed that those who desire to bring them to ruin are their allies. Over the years, many have woken up to the idea that maybe these NHI ‘friendlies’ aren’t friendly after all. Others have been so enthralled with the ‘gifts’ given to humanity, that they dismiss the possibility of these NHI’s are anything but benevolent.
Many of these “gifts” are found. In fact, all of the originals were found. How does that make sense? Pretend you are having an Easter egg hunt (not religiously speaking), and it is a grand ole time. Fast forward 5 days and you are out in the yard cutting the grass and you see a glimmer in the grass. Turns out, even though 5 days have passed, that egg is sitting where you left it. This is a very simple way of looking at it, but this is how the retrieval process began.
Many days (or ages) ago, objects were lost. Today, because of they know where the eggs are hidden, they can lead people to discover. Once discovered, the craft were studied and used to further our existence. Nowadays, the craft could be old that we discover, or it could be craft that are actually man-made, under the tutelage of NHI. The NHI can not easily manufacture in our dimension, so they tap the humans that best serve their purpose.
This can happen within an entity like the Armed Forces or a part of the Military Industrial Complex. This can also be done through organizations that we don’t readily know the name of, for example, have you ever heard of the Sonora Aero Club? Most have not, however, in the United States, this group was one of the first to be co-opted for a mission that they had no clue they were on. It makes me nervous to even write this, but we must try to find some semblance of light if we are going to make it out of this warehouse in one piece.
Men like David Grusch are diligent in their search, however, they will never be able to put the pieces together until they back up enough to see the Problem. Until it is diagnosed, we will look at pieces of a puzzle without having the box as a reference picture. The pieces of the puzzle: UAP, NHI, cattle mutilations, paranormal, etc etc, can’t be looked at as different problems—— they are the Problem.
There are entirely too many components for us to break down each in one post, but please just suspend skepticism for a minute and read this last part as if it were true:
There is an underlying glue to all things. A thread that ties us all together. In other dimensions (for lack of a better word), this thread can be woven together by groups of people having a similar idea, ideology intention, hope, fear, or sadness. Each individual thread, being part of the whole, is assembled into whatever dominates that person’s mind at that juncture. I know this sounds wild, but just imagine. Therefore, a group can be woven into a blanket that provides warmth and safety, or into a noose which could spell the end to all things. The Problem’s agenda is the latter. However, the people that are part of the Problem believe that they are making a blanket. This is why it is so hard to get people to see it for what it is: because it would mean humbling yourself and realizing that you have actually been working in the noose factory. Few people can admit their folly. Even fewer people can see they are part of the Problem because their pockets are stuffed or their power is enormous. The Problem is not stupid nor lazy, it will give you anything and everything it can to reel you in, because when the day comes, you will be tapped to do something you don’t want to do, but you must. That is part of being in bed with them, they control you.
That is all I have in me currently to share. I know that people will roll eyes, scratch heads, or dismiss completely. I am okay with that. I am not trying to sell you anything, just report on what I know to be true. I may share again, but I will answer questions best I know how. I leave you with 2 quotes:
“We’ll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the US public believes is false” -CIA Director, William J Casey, 1981
“The last card is the alien card. They will build space-based weapons against aliens, and it is all a lie.” -Werner Von Braun, 1974-1977
PS- if you ask about specific anomalies, ie. crop circles, I may only have a theory as to "why" because I don't have information on everything. But it is ALL part of ONE problem.