Recipe for ihop chocolate chip pancakes

Telling your children that you can't buy them fruit because it's too expensive while simultaneously buying them junk food.
If you can afford potato chips and chocolate you can afford fruit you're just choosing the junk food over the fruit. Infact sometimes the sweets and chocolate is MORE expensive then fruit- it's just fruit sometimes takes longer to prepare. Even if the fruit is more expensive, like your kid wants the bougie fruit, that's like what an extra couple dollars?
When I was younger I loved, grapes, clementine, mango, strawberries- but I was always told they were too expensive and we're going to buy chocolate bars instead. How come you can afford to give me string cheese, a chocolate bar, and a pack of potato chips for every school day but we cant afford oranges? Not having money for snacks is 1 thing, and that's understandable but you have money for snacks you're just choosing the unhealthy ones because it dosnt require any preparation. Matter of fact Fruit dosnt even require THAT much preparation, like really? You're so busy you don't have time to peel an orange? It's not like your child is asking you to make a steak, or a roast dinner- like you just have to wash it and put it on a plate.

If you put the leftover icecream in the freezer it is frozen solid again the next day. How do you guys get them ready to eat again?
If you spin it again, i found the that the texture of the ice cream gets even better than the first time. But if you have ice cream with ‘mix-ins’ (for example chocolate chips) those get completely blended and become part of the base ice cream. For example, froyo with chocolate chips becomes chocolate froyo without chips.
How do i keep the ‘mix-ins’ in tact? Should i just let it thaw instead of spinning it again? Do you get the nice icecream texture doing that?

I use Windows 10 Pro. I just installed the latest updates. Now my taskbar is different. Big obnoxious search bar I don’t want, with an image of cookies for some reason. Bigger icons. How do I undo this?
Why do they keep doing stuff like this?!? If I wanted stuff to change against my will, I’d use a fucking Mac. I don’t want Microsoft to put chocolate chip cookies on my screen, I just want to use a computer. I want to customize the layout and then have it stay the way I made it. They’re really gonna end up driving me away with stuff like this.
(Please don’t respond with a lecture about why I should feel differently. Please either tell me how to change this or don’t respond. Thank you.)

When I was three years old I was in a really bad car accident. I didn't know it at the time, but that singular event would come to define everything about my life moving forward. What I remember about the accident is mostly a collage of backdated comments I was able to reel out of my father in the following years. He was driving me and my mom in his old '91 Chevy Tahoe through the twisting backroads of Southern Illinois, weaving his way through the gnarled branches of oak trees which interlocked into a braided ceiling overhead. A fog had rolled in, giving the impression that we were driving through a cloudy tube. Everything was simultaneously bright and opaque. I didn't mind though, as I was in the back seat working on a coloring book. My mom was in the front, talking with my dad or turning around to entertain my completed pictures.
Although I was of the age where my memory was just beginning to mature, I still recall two things very clearly from the accident. First was the sensation of breaking. I remember feeling the way a plate must feel to be dropped: weightless at first, then suddenly meeting a much larger, more solid object—the air popped like a firecracker, and the entirety of my body shattered into hundreds of fractals. And then I remember a hand. It was my dad's hand pulling me from the wreck.
I ended up hospitalized for weeks after the crash. My mom was less lucky. The impact had killed her instantly.
As I've alluded to, I was young, and at the time I didn't fully understand the implications of what had happened. I knew something was missing, but it was like a word on the tip of my tongue, or the forgotten vanilla in a cherished cake recipe—coloring my experience, but not the whole of it. Not like my dad. For him, it was the whole fucking cake. He had somehow made it out with only a few scratches. I'm sure he had a really bad case of survivor's guilt, and frankly, looking back, I wouldn't have blamed him if he slumped into despair and spent his days drinking away his sorrow. But he wasn't that type of man. He got help. It took him years before he was able to recall anything that happened that morning, and most of it is still repressed, but he shared with me what he could. Or at least that's what I had thought.
My dad was a Middle School teacher since before I was born, and he kept his job until very recently. As a result, we didn't have much by way of resources. I grew up on Disney Channel and TV dinners for the most part, but I didn't mind. When I became of school age, his job actually made caring for me pretty convenient. Since our Elementary and Middle schools were connected, he was able to drive me there and back each day.
It was around third or fourth grade that I realized I was different. I didn't understand the other children or even the adults most of the time. They would say things then immediately change their mind, or they would talk about something and in the next breath forget its existence entirely. I remember one day at lunch, I had just gotten my tray of hot food and sat down with some friends. One of the kids, Alex, was talking about a stuffed bird he had won for getting first place in Mr. Curtis's pop-up math competition. We were all admiring its blue wings and white belly and sharp black beak and beady eyes. I left mid-conversation to get a chocolate milk. When I came back, I asked to see the bird again, and Alex said "what bird?" I was perplexed. "The bird—the bluejay you were just showing us." I remember all of the other kids looking at me like I was crazy. I figured they were all playing a trick on me, so I got up and went over to Alex's seat and crouched down, looking under the table, then I sprung up and tried to open his lunchbox. "What are you doing!?" he yelled. I felt so confused and embarrassed that I ran to the bathroom to cry.
And then there was another time a group of kids were laughing about a joke one of the girls, Taylor, had made about our homeroom teacher's face looking like a seal. I knew it was mean, but at the time I just wanted to fit in so I played along, but when I made a comment about her resemblance to the semi-aquatic animal, they all looked at me confused. "What are you talking about? We never said that…"
These misattributions kept happening, and it led to me being ostracized from most of the little childish cliques that popped up. I developed a quasi-standoffish temperament which I used as a shield against a chaotic world that I didn't understand. My dad eventually had me tested for ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), but I passed the test. He asked if I wanted to move to a different town with different schoolmates, thinking that perhaps I was getting bullied, but I told him it was fine. Somewhere deep down I felt like no matter where I went, this problem would follow me.
You may think that I was simply coping with the absence of my mom, and while I'm sure that her absence has left certain holes in my life, kindly, no, that wasn't what was happening. You see, at first I didn't notice the instances of what I'll call "blinking". I simply thought that I was misremembering things: objects, words, events. They were all little things anyway. A bird, a joke, my pencil box. It wasn't until sixth grade that I realized the magnitude of the phenomenon.
I was in my dad's 6th grade Social Studies class and we had just been assigned our "Ancient Civilizations" project which involved creating a diorama of our chosen civilization and presenting its features to the class. My friend at the time, Claire, had taken my first choice of Ancient Rome (which we had a heated argument about at lunch), so I was left with Ancient Egypt. At the time, all I pictured for Egypt was a plate of sand. However, my dad and I went through some illustrated history books and pictures on the internet and he really built up the project for me.
Over the course of a couple months, he helped me shape three pyramids out of small wooden planks and a bunch of tan clay. We placed them in the center of a giant square shoebox lid which served as the container for the diorama. Then he bought some small wooden mannequin puppets and we dressed them up in cloth clothes (mostly kilts and tunics) and colored their eyes, mouths, and hair. We added a few obelisks and some small box-huts which were collected into a little village around the Nile. Finally, we added a light glaze of glue where we felt would be necessary and then covered the whole project with golden glitter.
As we worked on each part of the diorama, my dad helped me understand what we were adding and why it was important to Ancient Egypt. I loved the way he talked about history. He spun everything into a miraculous story. To this day, I don't think I've ever had a teacher who came close to his level of charisma and creativity. As a result, I became really proud of my diorama. I memorized all the little details and rehearsed my speech in front of the mirror for hours leading up to the last couple weeks of class. And then, two days before I was supposed to give my presentation, everything fell apart.
First, I need to apologize for deceiving you about an aspect of my story. I thought it might help you to understand what I was going through at the time. What I'm about to tell you is going to sound insane. I get that. But please hear me out. The truth is that I was never assigned to present on Ancient Egypt; everything else about Clair taking my first pick and dad helping me with the whole project and my excitement leading up to the presentation was all true, but it wasn't a project on Ancient Egypt, it was a project on Ancient Sidovan, which was a civilization located on the eighth continent called "Catalan" (the same name as the spoken language, but unrelated) which was due West of Australia in the Indian Ocean.
I know this sounds incredible, and if you want to believe it's all in my head, I get that, but I remember clearly all sorts of facts about it: the Malagasy, the same people who populated Madagascar, were the first peoples to discover Catalan and settle it. However, about five hundred years later, Indian ships would arrive and create the civilization known as Sidovan. A pidgin language formed between the indigenous population and new arriving Indians called "Hiesa" (pronounced: Hai-E-suh or Hai-ʔ-suh). Catalan had a warm climate with plenty of natural resources, but Sidovan had a dense enough population to require agricultural production. They grew rice, grain, sugarcane, vegetables, and even tobacco.
I remembered all of these facts and more. My diorama reflected the main features of the Sidovan civilization. And then two days before my presentation, I woke up and my diorama was entirely different. The hilly grasslands were traded out for sandy dunes. The Hindu statues and stone palaces became clay pyramids and large spear-like pillars. And everything was covered with the ickiest yellow glitter I had ever seen. Tears stung my eyes as I trampled over to my dad's room and banged on his door. "Dad! What did you do!?" I yelled.
"Honey?" He responded, rushing over to the base of the stairs. "What's wrong?"
"The diorama. It's ruined!"
"It's what?" he asked and ran up the stairs, leading me to my room. He looked over it for a few seconds, checking to see if everything was intact, then said, "I don't see it, honey. Where is it ruined?"
I was completely dumb-struck. What did he mean he didn't see it? "All of it!" I shouted. "The whole thing is wrong. Where's the grass and the stone buildings and the lady with the four arms and the elephants? Where is my project!?"
My dad looked at me in silence. "Lauren, baby, what civilization do you think you were working on?"
"Ancient Sidovan, of course! We've been working on this for months now! Dad, please tell me you remember."
He knelt down and put his hands on my shoulders. "Honey, your project was on Ancient Egypt. There is no Ancient Sidovan."
"Y-you're lying." I protested. "Books, you have books. On your bookshelf."
He took me into his study and showed me all of his books. None of them were on Ancient Sidovan. He even turned on his computer and typed in the name of the civilization, but all that came up was a near match "Sidon". I remember feeling the sudden urge to puke. My entire body felt like it was pumping battery acid instead of blood. "I—I don't," I started but suddenly my head felt very light, and I fainted.
When I woke up, I was in the hospital. I had lost consciousness for over half an hour, enough time for my dad to call 9-1-1 and have the ambulance transport me to the nearest ER. They ran all sorts of tests on me, but they all came back fine. After a couple hours of IV fluids and monitoring, they released me with my dad.
I ended up skipping the rest of school that week. My dad didn't make me present my diorama. In fact, he never brought the subject up again. Part of me was glad. I just wanted to forget the whole thing ever happened. But another part of me couldn't move past what was clearly the most absurd thing to ever happen to me. About a week after the incident, I tried to broach the subject, but when I asked my dad about it, he didn't seem to remember our conversation at all. He said I had fallen ill and that's why I needed to go to the ER and miss class. I felt like I was going crazy. If I was older, I probably would have voluntarily checked myself into a psychiatric ward. But I was young and helpless and alone, and I decided that if I just ignored the changes well enough, I could still get along. This proved difficult though, as the blinking would only exacerbate in the coming months.
Up until the time of the project, I hadn't been able to directly observe the phenomenon. It was always in retrospect that things disappeared. It was during the summer after sixth grade that this changed. I still remember the first time it happened. I had just gotten out of the shower and was drying my hair in front of the mirror. After it was dried, I threw on my clothes then went to tie my hair up in a ponytail, but as I went to set the elastic tie, I felt its weight dissipate in my hand. I gasped and held my hand out. The circular black band was gone.
Fast forward to seventh grade and the blinking had spiraled out of control. Reflecting back on it, most people would probably have assumed I was drinking psilocybin-infused water, as the delusions were somewhat consistent with psychedelic phenomena: except these distortions were real (at least they felt that way to me).
I'd wake up and grab the box of Special K but end up eating Cheerios. The McDonalds logo would look yellow and red one day, but purple and black the next. I'd be watching a show, and then a different show, and then a different one. It was as if the entire universe was a Christmas tree with millions of lights, and the lights kept shifting hues randomly, faster and faster, and I was the only one who could see their changing colors. I remember one night my dad made spaghetti for dinner and we went out onto the porch to eat it. While we were sitting, I saw our neighbor's house, a two story townhome, blink and become a single story bungalow. I gasped, and my dad asked what was wrong, but when I tried to explain he just gave me a strange look. For him, no matter what changed, the world was "always that way". While for me, it didn't have "a way".
The situation peaked when Clair, that friend I mentioned before, disappeared. I texted her (my dad had bought me a BlackBerry at the beginning of summer break) but didn't get a response. When I asked her other friends if they knew where she was, I got the usual "what are you talking about?" look. I knew right away what had happened, even though I didn't want to believe it. I went to the teacher and asked if there was a Clair in our class. She said "no". I broke down in front of everyone. I couldn't take it anymore. I ran out of school. The lady at the front desk tried to stop me, but I just barrelled past her. I kept running until I got to a big park across the street and bawled my eyes out until the police arrived and escorted me home. When they tried asking me what was wrong, I didn't say anything. There was literally nothing I could say that they would understand.
That night I prayed to God for the first time. My dad wasn't a religious man. He went to Catholic church with my mom when she was alive, but after she died he never went back. Still, I knew how to pray, even if I never did it. I copied some of the people I saw praying in movies and interlocked my fingers and knelt down on my bed, stuffing my head into a pillow. "Dear God," I said, "Please, please, please help me." I told Him about my struggles and asked Him to make them stop. I spent an hour saying the same things over and over again. And when I was finished, my little body was so tired, I fell right to sleep.
I knew something was different the second I opened my eyelids. I didn't only feel relieved, but I felt… embraced. I felt like someone was watching over me. I felt like I wasn't alone. I moved through my day with cautious apprehension. I didn't want to get my hopes up only to be let down. But to my surprise, the blinking had stopped. At least I couldn't remember any of the inconsistencies, and to me, that was a win. I began to pray regularly, and the more I did, the more I could feel the sense that someone was looking out for me. It was like I was getting a big hug from some cosmic force that loved me and wanted me to be happy.
I made it a habit to pray regularly. I asked my dad if he could take me to a church, and he agreed to take me to St. Mark's, the same church that he and my mom used to attend. Over time, I realized that the actual church services weren't as important to me as the praying. For whatever reason, there was something about praying that was like a glue for my brain, holding the entire universe together. As I got older, I considered that maybe it wasn't that the changes were no longer happening, but that I simply didn't see them anymore. In other words, maybe I was just becoming like everyone else. Either way, I didn't mind.
In my teenage years, I got into mindfulness meditation. I thought that I'd want to go into religious studies and become a theologian, so I started to learn about Eastern traditions in addition to Christianity. I joined a bunch of different school clubs to meet kids of different faiths: Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam. I tried to find a common thread which linked them all and would explain what happened to me as a child. The metaphors of Heaven and Hell, Good and Evil, the Taoist Yin and Yang—duality. Every religion seemed to speak about a way of being that would lead to a better place. In some cases that better place was a physical future existence, and in others it was merely being in contact with the perfection of nature or the present. Metaphorically, the teachings could explain what I had gone through in a kind of loose way, but there were no explicit statements about my condition.
***
I want to fast forward to why I've decided to write about this now. To give you an idea of where I'm at, I'm now 25 and working on finishing my MA in Computational Linguistics. I know that's a bit of a switch from what I was thinking when I was a teenager, but I really only interested in religion because of the value praying afforded me as a child. I didn't actually have much interest in the subject, itself. After my first year of college, I changed to an English major, which ultimately led to me taking a linguistics class and enjoying it so much that I switched tracks in my Junior year. Considering the state of the world, I thought minoring in Computer Science might help me financially in the future, so I ended up charting a path which I figured might lead to something like developing translation software.
Anyway, everything was going fine until a few weeks ago. I was out at an all-night diner with a few of my friends from the program. There was Jeremy, Martin, Bella, Jordan, and Macy. We had been working on a group project together involving modeling construction grammars by generating primitive 3D structures using C# and running the code through a game engine (it's a bit weird, but essentially we were trying to create a multidimensional model for language using a similar but more advanced concept than other LLMs), and just had a breakthrough. It was 2AM though and not a brain cell existed between the six of us, so instead we focused on a different problem: Macy's ongoing breakup with her semi-long distance trucker boyfriend. We tried to explain why Mike wasn't going to work out as we ordered a round of milkshakes and waited for the lone overnight kitchen worker to scoop out three balls of ice cream from the Deans carton for each of us, blend it, then have the server deliver the vintage diner glasses on a plastic tray.
I dug into my thick strawberry shake with a spoon. It was delicious. I kept eating but focused back on the conversation. I remember feeling something odd about one of the scoops, but I was so entrenched in Macy's story that I didn't notice the metal shard in my ice cream until I felt it against my lip. "P-tuh" I spat out the shard and ice cream all in one motion, then covered my mouth which I was sure was bleeding. The silver blade was probably as large as my thumb, and it had two jagged edges, as if it was fastened for the purpose of causing damage. "What the fuck!" I yelled.
Everyone at the table turned to see what was the matter. "Hey, Lauren, you okay?"
I spoke through a covered mouth, using my free hand to point at the table. "That was in my—"
But it was gone.
"In your… shake? Was something in your shake?" asked Jeremy.
I froze. In that moment, the stories of my childhood that I had only remembered as faint nightmares came back in a wave of crushing terror. How could I have been so stupid to think they would simply vanish forever? No, this isn't the same thing, I thought. But deep down, I knew it was. I drew my hand away from my lips and saw that it was dry—no blood. When I looked back up, all of the blood in my veins went cold. My friends were… smiling at me. Their lips were elastic like taffy, stretching to reveal their teeth. I could feel them radiating malevolence, as if the only thing holding them back from picking up their utensils and stabbing me to death was some thinly veiled force field. The moment lasted for what felt like half a minute, then Jordan said two words which made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
"Found you"
The words ricocheted in my now adrenaline powered skull. But just as he spoke them, the world blinked and my friends were back. Bella reached out and grabbed my hand. I pulled away, but when I saw her concerned expression, I relented.
"Sorry, guys, I think I'm going to have to call it." I said.
"You sure, L?" asked Jordan. "You look like you just saw a ghost."
"Yeah, thanks, but I just…" I stumbled for a lie, but when one wouldn't come, Martin stood up and said he'd walk me out to my car.
"Thanks," I said as I got into my little 2015 Jetta. "It's just been a long day."
"No problem, Lauren. You know, if there's ever anything—"
"I know," I said but didn't mean. Some things just couldn't be shared.
I drove for about five minutes before stopping at a gas station. I pulled in and parked near the back. Then I interlocked my fingers and prayed for half an hour. I apologized for not taking my praying seriously and asked to once again be granted peace. Unlike my younger years, I also drifted into other avenues of thought. I imagined my mom. I pictured the whole arc of my life, all of the little decisions that led me to where I was. I cried for a long time. I felt like that little girl again reaching out for help. I still felt so lost, so out of control; there were so many things missing, and I was so confused.
I decided then to take a trip back home and visit my dad who was now working as a private tutor. He made enough prepping affluent students for the ACT and SAT that he could spend his free time pursuing his real passions: reading and writing. When I arrived at his doorstep that weekend, he greeted me with open arms. "How are you, kiddo? It's been, what? A year or so?"
It was actually more like two years, but I didn't tell him. I just smiled and nodded.
"Well, come in."
The house was almost exactly how I remembered it. Linoleum floors, beige walls, a few scattered pictures, the scent of camomile. Everything minimalist. There was a quaintness, a prettiness to the way everything seemed to be well kept and in a perfect place. From the cherry wood chairs we'd sit in to eat, to the cream-colored loveseat. I felt at home.
I spent the drive thinking of what I would talk to my dad about, but ultimately I wasn't sure what I'd say. I loved my dad, but I think growing up it was easy to see him as naive. After all, arguably the most important episodes of my childhood were completely unknown to him. In that way, I kind of loved him from a distance. Maybe losing my mom also played into that. Maybe I just had trust issues. And after what happened at the diner… Luckily there hadn't been any blinks since.
I stayed for a couple days and he showed me around some of the different coffee shops where he'd tutor kids or write some of his stories. I met some of his friends, mostly other retired or part-time teachers who were in a similar place in life. I was happy for him. Then, on Sunday, he made me my favorite meal growing up: homemade carbonara pasta with chicken and broccoli. The sauce had a few different cheeses, butter, olive oil, and a raw egg yolk. It was the perfect blend of creamy, savory, and sweet. After we ate, he cracked open a scrapbook of some old photos and other clippings he had put together.
We reminisced about the past and laughed whenever I'd cover up one of my awkward pictures. He brought up some stories from school that I had forgotten, naming some teachers that I hadn't thought about in years. Apparently I had started at the end, because as I moved to the other end of the book, I kept getting younger and younger. I flipped to the last pages and noticed a couple pictures of my mom that made my heart sink.
"She was beautiful, wasn't she?" said my dad.
"Mmm," I agreed.
I flipped to the last page and saw a collage of newspaper clippings. One of them was related to the accident. It was headlined: "Two Survive Head-On Collision". After a cursory glance at the text, I noticed something odd. It said, "Both the husband and child, a three year old girl, sustained life-threatening wounds. The husband was found unconscious on the scene. The girl was found twenty meters away from the vehicle, crying." I swallowed, trying to remember back to what happened that day. The feeling of crashing, of the world slowing down, then breaking, returned. And then there was a hand. My dad's hand. Or was it? If he was unconscious, who pulled me out of that wreck?
I looked up at my dad. He was smiling.
I shot up and started backing up slowly toward the door. "No, not you, too. What is this? What's happening? Who are you?"
My dad, or whatever was controlling him, laughed."Oh, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. You know who we are." he purred as he stood up. He lifted his hands and the lights began to flicker then bend in a way which shouldn't have been possible. Dark figures began to propagate from the shadows along the walls. The pictures nailed there began to blink out of existence. I turned to run toward the door but the handle was gone. Glass shards materialized all around me and swarmed like locusts. Certain I was going to die, I dropped down on my knees and once again turned to prayer, this time asking God to directly intervene and save me.
Everything went quiet.
"Honey? Are you okay?"
I didn't trust his voice. I knew if I opened my eyes, I'd see that awful smile. He was just toying with me. "It's not you," I said in between muttered prayers. "I know it's not you."
"Honey," my dad said, closer. I felt his arms wrap around me. This was it, I was going to be suffocated. I waited for the inevitable crushing weight of my chest collapsing. I waited to break all over again.
"I would never hurt you, Lauren. I love you more than anything in the whole world."
I burst out in tears. "No, it's not you, I know it's not you. You don't exist!"
My dad's weight dissipated. I opened my eyes and saw that he was no longer there. "Dad?" I called aloud. "Dad? Where did you go?"
I checked all over the house, but there was no trace of him. There were still pictures of him all over the house, so I knew he hadn't blinked out of existence like everything else, but somehow he was missing.
***
I left the house and got a room at a hotel, where I am now. I'm sure at this point that whatever is happening to me is no longer random. Something out there is actively trying to hunt me. Maybe it has been my whole life, but only now it can see me—however weird that sounds. If that's right, then God has been on my side trying to protect me from this demon or monster or devil or whatever it is. Regardless, the methods I was using when I was younger are not going to cut it anymore. I already posted my story in several other small circles and have gotten one reply. A man who goes by the name "Trent" (apparently it's an alias). He said that he has some insight into my "condition" and can offer help if I want it. I'm planning on meeting with him tomorrow. I'm not sure if it's a good idea, but at this point I need answers. I can keep you updated with my progress if that interests you, and to anyone who knows anything about what's happening to me, please… I could really use your help.
***
I was just about to post this when Trent sent another message. This is what it says:
Trent: We can do the \*** at **** O'clock. Also, if what you're telling me is true, your mother may still be alive.*

When I was three years old I was in a really bad car accident. I didn't know it at the time, but that singular event would come to define everything about my life moving forward. What I remember about the accident is mostly a collage of backdated comments I was able to reel out of my father in the following years. He was driving me and my mom in his old '91 Chevy Tahoe through the twisting backroads of Southern Illinois, weaving his way through the gnarled branches of oak trees which interlocked into a braided ceiling overhead. A fog had rolled in, giving the impression that we were driving through a cloudy tube. Everything was simultaneously bright and opaque. I didn't mind though, as I was in the back seat working on a coloring book. My mom was in the front, talking with my dad or turning around to entertain my completed pictures.
Although I was of the age where my memory was just beginning to mature, I still recall two things very clearly from the accident. First was the sensation of breaking. I remember feeling the way a plate must feel to be dropped: weightless at first, then suddenly meeting a much larger, more solid object—the air popped like a firecracker, and the entirety of my body shattered into hundreds of fractals. And then I remember a hand. It was my dad's hand pulling me from the wreck.
I ended up hospitalized for weeks after the crash. My mom was less lucky. The impact had killed her instantly.
As I've alluded to, I was young, and at the time I didn't fully understand the implications of what had happened. I knew something was missing, but it was like a word on the tip of my tongue, or the forgotten vanilla in a cherished cake recipe—coloring my experience, but not the whole of it. Not like my dad. For him, it was the whole fucking cake. He had somehow made it out with only a few scratches. I'm sure he had a really bad case of survivor's guilt, and frankly, looking back, I wouldn't have blamed him if he slumped into despair and spent his days drinking away his sorrow. But he wasn't that type of man. He got help. It took him years before he was able to recall anything that happened that morning, and most of it is still repressed, but he shared with me what he could. Or at least that's what I had thought.
My dad was a Middle School teacher since before I was born, and he kept his job until very recently. As a result, we didn't have much by way of resources. I grew up on Disney Channel and TV dinners for the most part, but I didn't mind. When I became of school age, his job actually made caring for me pretty convenient. Since our Elementary and Middle schools were connected, he was able to drive me there and back each day.
It was around third or fourth grade that I realized I was different. I didn't understand the other children or even the adults most of the time. They would say things then immediately change their mind, or they would talk about something and in the next breath forget its existence entirely. I remember one day at lunch, I had just gotten my tray of hot food and sat down with some friends. One of the kids, Alex, was talking about a stuffed bird he had won for getting first place in Mr. Curtis's pop-up math competition. We were all admiring its blue wings and white belly and sharp black beak and beady eyes. I left mid-conversation to get a chocolate milk. When I came back, I asked to see the bird again, and Alex said "what bird?" I was perplexed. "The bird—the bluejay you were just showing us." I remember all of the other kids looking at me like I was crazy. I figured they were all playing a trick on me, so I got up and went over to Alex's seat and crouched down, looking under the table, then I sprung up and tried to open his lunchbox. "What are you doing!?" he yelled. I felt so confused and embarrassed that I ran to the bathroom to cry.
And then there was another time a group of kids were laughing about a joke one of the girls, Taylor, had made about our homeroom teacher's face looking like a seal. I knew it was mean, but at the time I just wanted to fit in so I played along, but when I made a comment about her resemblance to the semi-aquatic animal, they all looked at me confused. "What are you talking about? We never said that…"
These misattributions kept happening, and it led to me being ostracized from most of the little childish cliques that popped up. I developed a quasi-standoffish temperament which I used as a shield against a chaotic world that I didn't understand. My dad eventually had me tested for ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), but I passed the test. He asked if I wanted to move to a different town with different schoolmates, thinking that perhaps I was getting bullied, but I told him it was fine. Somewhere deep down I felt like no matter where I went, this problem would follow me.
You may think that I was simply coping with the absence of my mom, and while I'm sure that her absence has left certain holes in my life, kindly, no, that wasn't what was happening. You see, at first I didn't notice the instances of what I'll call "blinking". I simply thought that I was misremembering things: objects, words, events. They were all little things anyway. A bird, a joke, my pencil box. It wasn't until sixth grade that I realized the magnitude of the phenomenon.
I was in my dad's 6th grade Social Studies class and we had just been assigned our "Ancient Civilizations" project which involved creating a diorama of our chosen civilization and presenting its features to the class. My friend at the time, Claire, had taken my first choice of Ancient Rome (which we had a heated argument about at lunch), so I was left with Ancient Egypt. At the time, all I pictured for Egypt was a plate of sand. However, my dad and I went through some illustrated history books and pictures on the internet and he really built up the project for me.
Over the course of a couple months, he helped me shape three pyramids out of small wooden planks and a bunch of tan clay. We placed them in the center of a giant square shoebox lid which served as the container for the diorama. Then he bought some small wooden mannequin puppets and we dressed them up in cloth clothes (mostly kilts and tunics) and colored their eyes, mouths, and hair. We added a few obelisks and some small box-huts which were collected into a little village around the Nile. Finally, we added a light glaze of glue where we felt would be necessary and then covered the whole project with golden glitter.
As we worked on each part of the diorama, my dad helped me understand what we were adding and why it was important to Ancient Egypt. I loved the way he talked about history. He spun everything into a miraculous story. To this day, I don't think I've ever had a teacher who came close to his level of charisma and creativity. As a result, I became really proud of my diorama. I memorized all the little details and rehearsed my speech in front of the mirror for hours leading up to the last couple weeks of class. And then, two days before I was supposed to give my presentation, everything fell apart.
First, I need to apologize for deceiving you about an aspect of my story. I thought it might help you to understand what I was going through at the time. What I'm about to tell you is going to sound insane. I get that. But please hear me out. The truth is that I was never assigned to present on Ancient Egypt; everything else about Clair taking my first pick and dad helping me with the whole project and my excitement leading up to the presentation was all true, but it wasn't a project on Ancient Egypt, it was a project on Ancient Sidovan, which was a civilization located on the eighth continent called "Catalan" (the same name as the spoken language, but unrelated) which was due West of Australia in the Indian Ocean.
I know this sounds incredible, and if you want to believe it's all in my head, I get that, but I remember clearly all sorts of facts about it: the Malagasy, the same people who populated Madagascar, were the first peoples to discover Catalan and settle it. However, about five hundred years later, Indian ships would arrive and create the civilization known as Sidovan. A pidgin language formed between the indigenous population and new arriving Indians called "Hiesa" (pronounced: Hai-E-suh or Hai-ʔ-suh). Catalan had a warm climate with plenty of natural resources, but Sidovan had a dense enough population to require agricultural production. They grew rice, grain, sugarcane, vegetables, and even tobacco.
I remembered all of these facts and more. My diorama reflected the main features of the Sidovan civilization. And then two days before my presentation, I woke up and my diorama was entirely different. The hilly grasslands were traded out for sandy dunes. The Hindu statues and stone palaces became clay pyramids and large spear-like pillars. And everything was covered with the ickiest yellow glitter I had ever seen. Tears stung my eyes as I trampled over to my dad's room and banged on his door. "Dad! What did you do!?" I yelled.
"Honey?" He responded, rushing over to the base of the stairs. "What's wrong?"
"The diorama. It's ruined!"
"It's what?" he asked and ran up the stairs, leading me to my room. He looked over it for a few seconds, checking to see if everything was intact, then said, "I don't see it, honey. Where is it ruined?"
I was completely dumb-struck. What did he mean he didn't see it? "All of it!" I shouted. "The whole thing is wrong. Where's the grass and the stone buildings and the lady with the four arms and the elephants? Where is my project!?"
My dad looked at me in silence. "Lauren, baby, what civilization do you think you were working on?"
"Ancient Sidovan, of course! We've been working on this for months now! Dad, please tell me you remember."
He knelt down and put his hands on my shoulders. "Honey, your project was on Ancient Egypt. There is no Ancient Sidovan."
"Y-you're lying." I protested. "Books, you have books. On your bookshelf."
He took me into his study and showed me all of his books. None of them were on Ancient Sidovan. He even turned on his computer and typed in the name of the civilization, but all that came up was a near match "Sidon". I remember feeling the sudden urge to puke. My entire body felt like it was pumping battery acid instead of blood. "I—I don't," I started but suddenly my head felt very light, and I fainted.
When I woke up, I was in the hospital. I had lost consciousness for over half an hour, enough time for my dad to call 9-1-1 and have the ambulance transport me to the nearest ER. They ran all sorts of tests on me, but they all came back fine. After a couple hours of IV fluids and monitoring, they released me with my dad.
I ended up skipping the rest of school that week. My dad didn't make me present my diorama. In fact, he never brought the subject up again. Part of me was glad. I just wanted to forget the whole thing ever happened. But another part of me couldn't move past what was clearly the most absurd thing to ever happen to me. About a week after the incident, I tried to broach the subject, but when I asked my dad about it, he didn't seem to remember our conversation at all. He said I had fallen ill and that's why I needed to go to the ER and miss class. I felt like I was going crazy. If I was older, I probably would have voluntarily checked myself into a psychiatric ward. But I was young and helpless and alone, and I decided that if I just ignored the changes well enough, I could still get along. This proved difficult though, as the blinking would only exacerbate in the coming months.
Up until the time of the project, I hadn't been able to directly observe the phenomenon. It was always in retrospect that things disappeared. It was during the summer after sixth grade that this changed. I still remember the first time it happened. I had just gotten out of the shower and was drying my hair in front of the mirror. After it was dried, I threw on my clothes then went to tie my hair up in a ponytail, but as I went to set the elastic tie, I felt its weight dissipate in my hand. I gasped and held my hand out. The circular black band was gone.
Fast forward to seventh grade and the blinking had spiraled out of control. Reflecting back on it, most people would probably have assumed I was drinking psilocybin-infused water, as the delusions were somewhat consistent with psychedelic phenomena: except these distortions were real (at least they felt that way to me).
I'd wake up and grab the box of Special K but end up eating Cheerios. The McDonalds logo would look yellow and red one day, but purple and black the next. I'd be watching a show, and then a different show, and then a different one. It was as if the entire universe was a Christmas tree with millions of lights, and the lights kept shifting hues randomly, faster and faster, and I was the only one who could see their changing colors. I remember one night my dad made spaghetti for dinner and we went out onto the porch to eat it. While we were sitting, I saw our neighbor's house, a two story townhome, blink and become a single story bungalow. I gasped, and my dad asked what was wrong, but when I tried to explain he just gave me a strange look. For him, no matter what changed, the world was "always that way". While for me, it didn't have "a way".
The situation peaked when Clair, that friend I mentioned before, disappeared. I texted her (my dad had bought me a BlackBerry at the beginning of summer break) but didn't get a response. When I asked her other friends if they knew where she was, I got the usual "what are you talking about?" look. I knew right away what had happened, even though I didn't want to believe it. I went to the teacher and asked if there was a Clair in our class. She said "no". I broke down in front of everyone. I couldn't take it anymore. I ran out of school. The lady at the front desk tried to stop me, but I just barrelled past her. I kept running until I got to a big park across the street and bawled my eyes out until the police arrived and escorted me home. When they tried asking me what was wrong, I didn't say anything. There was literally nothing I could say that they would understand.
That night I prayed to God for the first time. My dad wasn't a religious man. He went to Catholic church with my mom when she was alive, but after she died he never went back. Still, I knew how to pray, even if I never did it. I copied some of the people I saw praying in movies and interlocked my fingers and knelt down on my bed, stuffing my head into a pillow. "Dear God," I said, "Please, please, please help me." I told Him about my struggles and asked Him to make them stop. I spent an hour saying the same things over and over again. And when I was finished, my little body was so tired, I fell right to sleep.
I knew something was different the second I opened my eyelids. I didn't only feel relieved, but I felt… embraced. I felt like someone was watching over me. I felt like I wasn't alone. I moved through my day with cautious apprehension. I didn't want to get my hopes up only to be let down. But to my surprise, the blinking had stopped. At least I couldn't remember any of the inconsistencies, and to me, that was a win. I began to pray regularly, and the more I did, the more I could feel the sense that someone was looking out for me. It was like I was getting a big hug from some cosmic force that loved me and wanted me to be happy.
I made it a habit to pray regularly. I asked my dad if he could take me to a church, and he agreed to take me to St. Mark's, the same church that he and my mom used to attend. Over time, I realized that the actual church services weren't as important to me as the praying. For whatever reason, there was something about praying that was like a glue for my brain, holding the entire universe together. As I got older, I considered that maybe it wasn't that the changes were no longer happening, but that I simply didn't see them anymore. In other words, maybe I was just becoming like everyone else. Either way, I didn't mind.
In my teenage years, I got into mindfulness meditation. I thought that I'd want to go into religious studies and become a theologian, so I started to learn about Eastern traditions in addition to Christianity. I joined a bunch of different school clubs to meet kids of different faiths: Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam. I tried to find a common thread which linked them all and would explain what happened to me as a child. The metaphors of Heaven and Hell, Good and Evil, the Taoist Yin and Yang—duality. Every religion seemed to speak about a way of being that would lead to a better place. In some cases that better place was a physical future existence, and in others it was merely being in contact with the perfection of nature or the present. Metaphorically, the teachings could explain what I had gone through in a kind of loose way, but there were no explicit statements about my condition.
***
I want to fast forward to why I've decided to write about this now. To give you an idea of where I'm at, I'm now 25 and working on finishing my MA in Computational Linguistics. I know that's a bit of a switch from what I was thinking when I was a teenager, but I really only interested in religion because of the value praying afforded me as a child. I didn't actually have much interest in the subject, itself. After my first year of college, I changed to an English major, which ultimately led to me taking a linguistics class and enjoying it so much that I switched tracks in my Junior year. Considering the state of the world, I thought minoring in Computer Science might help me financially in the future, so I ended up charting a path which I figured might lead to something like developing translation software.
Anyway, everything was going fine until a few weeks ago. I was out at an all-night diner with a few of my friends from the program. There was Jeremy, Martin, Bella, Jordan, and Macy. We had been working on a group project together involving modeling construction grammars by generating primitive 3D structures using C# and running the code through a game engine (it's a bit weird, but essentially we were trying to create a multidimensional model for language using a similar but more advanced concept than other LLMs), and just had a breakthrough. It was 2AM though and not a brain cell existed between the six of us, so instead we focused on a different problem: Macy's ongoing breakup with her semi-long distance trucker boyfriend. We tried to explain why Mike wasn't going to work out as we ordered a round of milkshakes and waited for the lone overnight kitchen worker to scoop out three balls of ice cream from the Deans carton for each of us, blend it, then have the server deliver the vintage diner glasses on a plastic tray.
I dug into my thick strawberry shake with a spoon. It was delicious. I kept eating but focused back on the conversation. I remember feeling something odd about one of the scoops, but I was so entrenched in Macy's story that I didn't notice the metal shard in my ice cream until I felt it against my lip. "P-tuh" I spat out the shard and ice cream all in one motion, then covered my mouth which I was sure was bleeding. The silver blade was probably as large as my thumb, and it had two jagged edges, as if it was fastened for the purpose of causing damage. "What the fuck!" I yelled.
Everyone at the table turned to see what was the matter. "Hey, Lauren, you okay?"
I spoke through a covered mouth, using my free hand to point at the table. "That was in my—"
But it was gone.
"In your… shake? Was something in your shake?" asked Jeremy.
I froze. In that moment, the stories of my childhood that I had only remembered as faint nightmares came back in a wave of crushing terror. How could I have been so stupid to think they would simply vanish forever? No, this isn't the same thing, I thought. But deep down, I knew it was. I drew my hand away from my lips and saw that it was dry—no blood. When I looked back up, all of the blood in my veins went cold. My friends were… smiling at me. Their lips were elastic like taffy, stretching to reveal their teeth. I could feel them radiating malevolence, as if the only thing holding them back from picking up their utensils and stabbing me to death was some thinly veiled force field. The moment lasted for what felt like half a minute, then Jordan said two words which made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
"Found you"
The words ricocheted in my now adrenaline powered skull. But just as he spoke them, the world blinked and my friends were back. Bella reached out and grabbed my hand. I pulled away, but when I saw her concerned expression, I relented.
"Sorry, guys, I think I'm going to have to call it." I said.
"You sure, L?" asked Jordan. "You look like you just saw a ghost."
"Yeah, thanks, but I just…" I stumbled for a lie, but when one wouldn't come, Martin stood up and said he'd walk me out to my car.
"Thanks," I said as I got into my little 2015 Jetta. "It's just been a long day."
"No problem, Lauren. You know, if there's ever anything—"
"I know," I said but didn't mean. Some things just couldn't be shared.
I drove for about five minutes before stopping at a gas station. I pulled in and parked near the back. Then I interlocked my fingers and prayed for half an hour. I apologized for not taking my praying seriously and asked to once again be granted peace. Unlike my younger years, I also drifted into other avenues of thought. I imagined my mom. I pictured the whole arc of my life, all of the little decisions that led me to where I was. I cried for a long time. I felt like that little girl again reaching out for help. I still felt so lost, so out of control; there were so many things missing, and I was so confused.
I decided then to take a trip back home and visit my dad who was now working as a private tutor. He made enough prepping affluent students for the ACT and SAT that he could spend his free time pursuing his real passions: reading and writing. When I arrived at his doorstep that weekend, he greeted me with open arms. "How are you, kiddo? It's been, what? A year or so?"
It was actually more like two years, but I didn't tell him. I just smiled and nodded.
"Well, come in."
The house was almost exactly how I remembered it. Linoleum floors, beige walls, a few scattered pictures, the scent of camomile. Everything minimalist. There was a quaintness, a prettiness to the way everything seemed to be well kept and in a perfect place. From the cherry wood chairs we'd sit in to eat, to the cream-colored loveseat. I felt at home.
I spent the drive thinking of what I would talk to my dad about, but ultimately I wasn't sure what I'd say. I loved my dad, but I think growing up it was easy to see him as naive. After all, arguably the most important episodes of my childhood were completely unknown to him. In that way, I kind of loved him from a distance. Maybe losing my mom also played into that. Maybe I just had trust issues. And after what happened at the diner… Luckily there hadn't been any blinks since.
I stayed for a couple days and he showed me around some of the different coffee shops where he'd tutor kids or write some of his stories. I met some of his friends, mostly other retired or part-time teachers who were in a similar place in life. I was happy for him. Then, on Sunday, he made me my favorite meal growing up: homemade carbonara pasta with chicken and broccoli. The sauce had a few different cheeses, butter, olive oil, and a raw egg yolk. It was the perfect blend of creamy, savory, and sweet. After we ate, he cracked open a scrapbook of some old photos and other clippings he had put together.
We reminisced about the past and laughed whenever I'd cover up one of my awkward pictures. He brought up some stories from school that I had forgotten, naming some teachers that I hadn't thought about in years. Apparently I had started at the end, because as I moved to the other end of the book, I kept getting younger and younger. I flipped to the last pages and noticed a couple pictures of my mom that made my heart sink.
"She was beautiful, wasn't she?" said my dad.
"Mmm," I agreed.
I flipped to the last page and saw a collage of newspaper clippings. One of them was related to the accident. It was headlined: "Two Survive Head-On Collision". After a cursory glance at the text, I noticed something odd. It said, "Both the husband and child, a three year old girl, sustained life-threatening wounds. The husband was found unconscious on the scene. The girl was found twenty meters away from the vehicle, crying." I swallowed, trying to remember back to what happened that day. The feeling of crashing, of the world slowing down, then breaking, returned. And then there was a hand. My dad's hand. Or was it? If he was unconscious, who pulled me out of that wreck?
I looked up at my dad. He was smiling.
I shot up and started backing up slowly toward the door. "No, not you, too. What is this? What's happening? Who are you?"
My dad, or whatever was controlling him, laughed."Oh, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. You know who we are." he purred as he stood up. He lifted his hands and the lights began to flicker then bend in a way which shouldn't have been possible. Dark figures began to propagate from the shadows along the walls. The pictures nailed there began to blink out of existence. I turned to run toward the door but the handle was gone. Glass shards materialized all around me and swarmed like locusts. Certain I was going to die, I dropped down on my knees and once again turned to prayer, this time asking God to directly intervene and save me.
Everything went quiet.
"Honey? Are you okay?"
I didn't trust his voice. I knew if I opened my eyes, I'd see that awful smile. He was just toying with me. "It's not you," I said in between muttered prayers. "I know it's not you."
"Honey," my dad said, closer. I felt his arms wrap around me. This was it, I was going to be suffocated. I waited for the inevitable crushing weight of my chest collapsing. I waited to break all over again.
"I would never hurt you, Lauren. I love you more than anything in the whole world."
I burst out in tears. "No, it's not you, I know it's not you. You don't exist!"
My dad's weight dissipated. I opened my eyes and saw that he was no longer there. "Dad?" I called aloud. "Dad? Where did you go?"
I checked all over the house, but there was no trace of him. There were still pictures of him all over the house, so I knew he hadn't blinked out of existence like everything else, but somehow he was missing.
***
I left the house and got a room at a hotel, where I am now. I'm sure at this point that whatever is happening to me is no longer random. Something out there is actively trying to hunt me. Maybe it has been my whole life, but only now it can see me—however weird that sounds. If that's right, then God has been on my side trying to protect me from this demon or monster or devil or whatever it is. Regardless, the methods I was using when I was younger are not going to cut it anymore. I already posted my story in several other small circles and have gotten one reply. A man who goes by the name "Trent" (apparently it's an alias). He said that he has some insight into my "condition" and can offer help if I want it. I'm planning on meeting with him tomorrow. I'm not sure if it's a good idea, but at this point I need answers. I can keep you updated with my progress if that interests you, and to anyone who knows anything about what's happening to me, please… I could really use your help.
***
I was just about to post this when Trent sent another message. This is what it says:
Trent: We can do the \*** at **** O'clock. Also, if what you're telling me is true, your mother may still be alive.*

Chocolate chip cookies came to be a beloved baked good purely by accident. In 1938, Ruth Wakefield was managing the Toll House Inn with her husband Kenneth ran in Whitman, Massachusetts.
Now she has a special cookie recipe that was called Butter Drop Do, and it required crumbled bakers' chocolate. However, she ran out if this chocolate, so as a substitute she used chopped Nestle semi-sweet chocolate bar with hopes that it would melt and mic into the batter.
That's what she wanted but instead they pieces retained their shape and were baked into the cookies that way, leading to the creation of the first batch of chocolate chip cookies. They soon gained popularity as Toll House Chocolate Crunch Cookies and, much like Barbie, have been evolving to be a taste for everyone for years to come
So tell me, what's your favorite kind of cookie? 😊🍪

I would like to celebrate finishing some major assignments by baking some cupcakes in my student house! I want to make something a bit different than just plain chocolate chip/vanilla. cakes, does anyone have any fun cupcake recipes for me to try? :D

This is my second time doing BLW but I never experienced anything like it with my first. We’ve been doing BLW for 4 months and baby eats well. Loves veggies, fruits, meats, etc. However anything related to breakfast baked goods she completely avoids and refuses to eat.
We’ve been trying different recipes for 4 weeks and she’ll maybe lick or pick it up then toss on ground or ignore and eat whatever else is on the plate. I’ve tried different times, lunch, dinner etc. She’s not teething either. I’ve also tried only giving it to her with nothing else on the plate and she’ll ignore it and whine. I’ve tried with a fork, dangling it, putting it on my hand, pretending to eat it etc.
We’ve done muffins, breakfast “bars” made with oats or quinoa, pancakes, toast. Basically any baked good.
She’ll eat oatmeal and rice or buckwheat so it’s not a texture or color thing. In fact, I would say the quinoa breakfast bar I made looks so similar to buckwheat I’m not sure how she can tell the difference but she wouldn’t even pick it up to give it a try!
Any advice or help on why she refuses to eat this category of foods??
Another reason I’m trying to push for these is she has an egg allergy so we need to give her baked goods with eggs inside for exposure.

I'm interested in making cookies that have a graham cracker taste. Can I achieve that by using a normal chocolate chip cookie recipe and swapping the all purpose flour out with graham flour? Would it be a 1-to-1 swap, or should I do 50% AP and 50% graham? Thanks!

You've heard of selling ice to eskimos, but how about peddling humble cookies for $140 a pop? Sounds like a total pipe dream, right? Well, meet the cookie kingpins at Last Crumb - the cheeky LA upstarts who've done exactly that, building a multi-million dollar luxury brand around...baked goods.
I know, I know. When you first hear that premise, it's one of those things that makes you spit out your drink in disbelief. $140 for a box of 12 cookies?! What sort of Willy Wonka shit is this? These guys must be hopped up on something strong to think they can rebrand grandma's classic chocolate chips into objet d'art territory.
Except here's the kicker - their delightfully insane idea worked. By meticulously studying the playbooks of streetwear drops and luxury fashion houses, Last Crumb cracked the code on transforming an everyday grocery item into a covetable status symbol.
Their whole approach is basically an elaborate Jedi mind trick designed to short-circuit our perceptions around what "luxury" even means in 2023. You've got the minimalist, fashion-forward branding that oozes expensive European boutique vibes. The wildly overengineered unboxing experience that turns opening a cookie box into an ASMR-laced treasure hunt. The vegaspilled copywriting that stops just short of suggesting you might actually be eating edible gold flakes or something.
But the real stroke of genius? How they gamified the entire Last Crumb experience to manufacture scarcity and prompt that delicious social media fear-of-missing-out. Their cookies get released in these hyped, limited "drops" just like a new Yeezy sneaker. You've got to black Friday stampede for a spot on their waitlist, then pray you can snag one of the precious few boxes before they sell out in minutes. Which they always do, because these savants have turned getting a Last Crumb delivery into the bakery equivalent of scoring courtside seats.
By piggybacking on all the artificial scarcity and tribal signaling motivators that drive the resale sneaker economy, Last Crumb kicked off this crazy word-of-mouth cyclone. Now their cookies are like the new Birkins - if you can cop a box for yourself or bae, you've gotta 'gram those things to flex that you're an official member of the cookie club.
It's honestly just tremendous amplified marketing jujitsu, repackaging a familiar grocery staple into the ultimate guilty pleasure indulgence. They've essentially made eating cookies an illicit thrill again, like you're cheating on your diet with some wild truffled tobacco creations from the back alley of a Parisian patisserie.
Are the cookies themselves really worth $12 a pop? Probably not - they're just extremely well-executed, premium baked goods at the end of the day. But by cribbing from the basic supply/demand mechanics that drive the luxury x streetwear universe, Last Crumb created both the ultimate grocery store heist story and a new benchmark for disruptive food marketing.
So while it's still undeniably goofy watching people plunk down generational wealth on some cookies, you've got to take your hat off to these guys. They didn't just sell us cookies - they hawked the escapist dream of sugary opulence itself. And at the end of the day, that's one luxury more of us should be willing to indulge.
Key Learnings:
Here are the key steps Last Crumb took to turn humble cookies into a $140 luxury product:
Positioning and Branding

• Positioned themselves as a luxury brand with a chic, minimalist visual identity inspired by high-fashion brands.
• Used aspirational copywriting that invited customers into the "Last Crumb Experience" rather than just selling cookies.

Premium Packaging Experience

• Custom packaging designed for the ultimate unboxing experience, with cookies presented at precise angles and in matte-coated bags.
• Included a magazine with each box to add storytelling and depth to the product.

Exclusivity and Scarcity

• Adopted the streetwear "drop" model, releasing limited cookie collections exclusively to those on the waitlist.
• Created artificial scarcity by ensuring inventory sold out within minutes of each drop.

Gamified Experience

• Made customers join a waitlist and countdown to each drop, building anticipation.
• The scramble to secure a box before it sold out created a feverish fear of missing out.

Social Currency

• The exclusivity and luxury positioning turned getting a Last Crumb box into a status symbol to show off.
• Encouraged customers to share unboxing videos and show off their rare cookies on social media.

Creative Brief for Customers

• Designed a unique cookie tasting ritual that gave customers something novel to talk about.
• Turned customers into brand ambassadors by giving them an experience worth sharing.

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Craving cookies but not the fuss that often comes with them? Look no further! These Four-Ingredient Chocolate Chip Cookies are not only incredibly simple to make but also deliciously satisfying. Whether you're an experienced baker or a novice in the kitchen, these cookies are foolproof and perfect for any occasion. Plus, they’re made with wholesome ingredients that you can feel good about indulging in.

Usually I eat cooked meals every time I hit “peckish” but STIll always end up very underweight (68) by time a month or two passes. I know you can eat butter and lard etc, but I like to save mine to bake goods once the power goes out as a happy meal pass time. What is a more realistic way to keep my weight in the average range? Should I eat more of the snacks I pick up? I also sort my food and how I eat them like this 1. Eat anything perishable first, this allows me to use up resources that would go bad without power. 2. Save snacks (chips, orange juice, all of the candies and chocolates and snack cakes for when depression hits or keep some in my cars for emergency food 3. Never touch canned food! Used food is for extreme emergencies or winter scarcity. (I make bags of food and can openers and waters and scatter them around town in case of emergencies I can have stashes)
What am I doing wrong with my weight? I do tend to run and exercise frequently too.

I (25F, 160cm, CW=82kgs, GW=50 to 55kgs) am working on sticking with my exercise habits and making good progress. But I haven't been able to stick to my pre-planned food habits even for a day. I am not saying 'diet' and calling it food habit because there is no huge change except not eating packaged / junk food like chips and chocolate, noodles, etc. I am allowed coffee or tea with sugar, just so chocolate because chocolate gives me headache and bloating. Same with stuff containing gluten and high-sodium products.
I started being serious about losing weight since May 1st and this May month is trial period. I have developed habits throughout the years like intermittent fasting, regular workout, etc. But since May 1st, I have been combining stuff and testing what works the best when doing in combination. For example, I have no problem doing strength training during fasted, but cannot do cardio fasted. But I have enough motivation to do strength training any time of the day, but I have motivation for cardio only in the mornings. So, I am adjusting my schedule regularly.
According to my plan, there is absolutely no junk / packaged food in my house right now. I am also following other habits like ending fast with a smoothie, starting meals with salad and then eating protein and carbs, etc. HOWEVER, almost everyday for like 5 to 10 minutes, I kind of lose my mind and go to the nearest grocery store which is like less than a minute walk from my home and buy and eat everything I should not be eating. By the time I come to my senses, I have already had 1500+ calories of chocolate, bakery and junk food.
I don't know why I do that. I am not restricting my calories. I am not night time binger, this happens during the day. I used to be, but when I started going to bed at time, I improved. But somehow it has moved to afternoon. I have kind of noticed that I eat like that after having my coffee in the afternoon. I only drink coffee in the afternoon, after meal and before lunch and it is the only food/drink of the day with added sugar. Maybe it is what is triggering me to lose my mind and eat like that? I have no idea. I became a regular coffee drinker only in the past few weeks (less than 4 weeks).
Maybe if I cut off this source of added sugar, my body won't remember the other forms of sugar? I don't know how it works. But I really need advice on how to stop binge eating like this, as if I am in an auto pilot mode.

(As always, flyers are out Wednesdays, most store sales for the new flyer start on Thursdays)
Adonis

• Crab section (thawed) - $7.77 per lb -- Interesting! Could be fun for making neat meals!
• Coho salmon fillet - $7.77 per lb -- Wow! That's a great price for salmon!
• Sea bass (fresh, free cleaning) - $7.99 per lb -- Fair price for fresh fish.
• Basa filet (thawed) - $4.99 per lb -- Nice! It's not fresh filet, but it's a good price,.
• Chicken thighs (boneless skinless) - $5.99 per lb -- Not amazing, but ok for boneless chicken.
• Grain-fed veal blade roast - $5.99 per lb -- Interesting! It's a more tender cut, more delicate flavour, which might be nice!
• Beef eye of round - $6.99 per lb -- Good and fair price for eye of round. It's possible to find it for less, but it's a hunt. This is a regular Adonis deal.
• Rib-eye steak - $17.99 per lb -- Makes me think of a post I saw this week of a standard prime rib roast in Calgary sold at $55/kg, 27/lb or something. Which is crazy!
• Red greenhouse tomatoes - $0.99 per lb -- Awesome! Great price for tomatoes, but I found the other produce prices advertised were a little lackluster.
• Apricots (fresh) - $4.99 per lb -- Low-ish price for fresh apricots.
• Brick cheese (Cracker Barrel) - $5.77 400g bar -- Not under $5, but still worth snagging a bar if it means skipping a trip elsewhere.
• Cheese Counter - Canadian feta - $1.99 per 100g -- Nice! $2/100g for feta is good.
• Cheese Counter - Tuma - $2.29 per 100g -- Interesting! "Tuma cheese is renowned for its delicate mild milk flavour, and its smooth, velvety and firm texture."
• Cheese Counter - Akawi - $2.29 per 100g -- Ahh, this is a lovely cheese. Not cheap, but it's good stuff!
• Cheese Counter - Fior de latte - $2.29 per 100g -- Good price. This is the stuff you need for a Caprese salad!
• Pâté (Bretagne) - $5.00 for 2 150g packs -- Great price! These regularly go for $4 or so.
• Deli - Chicken breast (Solmaz) - $1.79 per 100g -- Nice!
• Deli - Smoked ham (Olymel) - $1.49 per 100g -- Excellent!
• Deli - Turkey breast (Alzahraa) - $1.49 per 100g -- More great deli!
• Deli - Prosciutto (Negroni) - $2.79 per 100g -- Ah! Nice! Different brand, same great prosciutto price!
• Walnuts and mixed nuts (Cedar) - $4.99 454g bag -- Nice! That's cheap!
• Almonds (Cedar) - $5.99 454g bag -- Good price for almonds!
• Pistachios (roasted, salted, Cedar) - $12.99 454g bag -- Pistachio prices are a little funny. $10/lb is really the price to aim for, but this isn't far off. And it's not uncommon to see 200-250g bags for $7-8 or more.
• Produce Price Rating: Medium, but always has well-priced chicken, the deli meat sale rotations are always fantastic, and just the overall variety of goods is refreshing. Personal favourite store.

Farm Boy

• Chicken breast (boneless skinless) - $5.99 per lb -- Fair price for chicken breast.
• Wild-caught Argentinian shrimp (23-30ct) - $7.99 340g bag -- This is a good rate on decent shrimp!
• Fresh sausage deal - $5.99 500g packs -- Nice little sausage deal here. Fresh sausage avoids the preservatives!
• Mini cucumbers - $5.00 for 2 6-packs -- Good price for mini cucumber.
• Fiddleheads (fresh daily) - $5.99 per lb -- Neat! These are fun to see on the shelf. Try a fun seasonal item!
• Hothouse tomatoes - $1.49 per lb -- Good price for tomatoes!
• Eggplant - $1.49 per lb -- Great price for eggplant! Often $2/lb or more!
• Zucchini - $1.49 per lb -- Good price zucch! You can find them for less, but you'll have to hunt for it.
• Green onion - $0.77 per bunch -- Nice! It's crazy to be happy about green onions for under $1…
• Blueberries - $2.99 full pint -- Ad is for 473g pints. This is a great deal! Worth snagging some!
• Produce Price Rating: High

Farmers Pick (can be a little late on their flyer) (https://www.farmerspick.ca/flyer-specials)
Food Basics

• Ground chicken (lean, Zabiha) - $3.88 450g pack -- Great price for ground chicken!
• Pork side rib - $2.98 per lb -- Good price for pork rib!
• Pork tenderloin - $2.98 per lb -- Great price for tenderloin. More often found for $4/lb.
• Fresh beef burger patties - $4.00 4-pack -- These are 1/4lb patties, meaning we're clocking in at $4/lb, which is honestly pretty good! Season them up and grill! There's also Selection 8-pack of buns on sale for 1.77. So, that's basically $10 for 8 burgers. That's value!
• Asparagus - $1.98 per lb -- Excllent! This is a great price! And it's not even the 340g bunches, no, this is per lb!
• Sweet peppers - $2.98 4-pack -- Nice!
• Sweet potato and sweet purple potato - $1.28 per lb -- Fair price for sweet potatoes. It's fun to see purple ones get lumped into the same bracket.
• Coleslaw kit (Green Giant) - $5.00 for 2 340g kits -- Great price for salad kits.
• Mini potatoes - $2.98 5lb bag -- Good price for mini potatoes!
• Strawberries - $1.67 454g shell -- WOW! Cross our fingers they're nice AND cheap!
• Cherries - $5.98 per lb -- Decent price for cherries. I like making homemade yogurt popsicles with fresh cherries. Bit if a pain in the ass to pit, but so worth it.
• Brick cheese (Selection) - $4.44 400g bar -- Nice! Sub-$5 bricks!
• Salametti (Matro) - $6.49 300g chubs -- May include other varieties
• Baby genoa (Mastro) - $8.99 600g chub? -- Hard to read the ad, but this is a good deal for a big chub of genoa!
• Mortadella (San Daniele) - $8.99 750g chub -- Works out to $1.20/100g, which is a substantial savings compared to the deli counter or buying it presliced and packed!
• BBQ Sauce and Mustard (Selection) - $1.00 each -- Nice! I personally love mustard and a good BBQ sauce. Might be nice to stock up for that burger night!
• Chips (Irresistibles) - $1.00 150g bag -- I usually don't point out chips and seed-oil-snacks, but this is a great deal!
• Produce Price Rating: Low to medium low

FoodLand

• Beef top sirloin steaks (AAA) - $7.99 per lb -- Great price for AAA steaks. Top sirloin isn't the best place to get a steak cut, but it could be fine. Have a look in-store and judge for yourself.
• Shrimp (31-40ct, Compliments) - $6.99 per lb -- Good price for shrimp, but note that these are small.
• Bar scallops (80-120ct, Compliments) - $6.99 per lb -- These are quite small, but they could be interesting to thaw, pat dry, and sear quick on high heat for use in salads. Or perhaps as a top to a risotto?
• Cucumber - $0.99 each -- Scene Member Price.
• Corn - $5.00 for 5 years -- $1 an ear!?!#@! Are they mad?! Do they not watch the news about boycotts and how consumers are pissed? And then you're going to charge them $1 for an ear of corn? My goodness…
• Produce Price Rating: Medium-high to high.

Freshco (price matcher)

• Bacon (Schneider's) - $3.99 375g pack -- Good price for brandname bacon. Sale also extends to some of their wieners and bologna.
• Frozen burgers (Compliments) - $9.99 1.13kg box (8-pack) -- This stretches us down into a $3/lb mark for beef. Which is pretty good all things considered, but know it's a processed meat. Read the ingredients: beef, water, bread crumb, soya flour, and salt and seasoning. You're paying for recovered meat mixed with bread crumb and flour. And the nutritional info on the pack reads 73% daily value of sat-fat in one 142g burger. A 152g fresh patty lands you at 60%. Know your food!
• Wild-caught Argentinian shrimp (23-30ct) - $6.99 300g bag -- This is a good rate on decent shrimp!
• Sweet peppers - $2.99 4-pack -- Nice!
• Mushrooms - $2.99 454g shell -- Great price!
• Green beans - $1.99 per lb -- Awesome price for green beans!
• Royal Gala apples - $1.49 per lb -- Good price for a nice apple variety. However, you can also sometimes score these for $1/lb if you wait and dig around for the sale.
• Blueberries - $2.49 full pint -- Nice! Another great blueberry sale!
• Produce Price Rating: Low to medium low (more on the medium side)

Giant Tiger (*note the VIP prices; sales begin today) (price matcher)

• Hotdog wieners (Olymel) - $2.47 375g 5-pack -- Sigh… Good price for wieners, but still… Don't overdo it. These are categorically terrible for you!
• Ambrosia apples - $2.88 3lb bag -- Great deal on a tasty apple variety that hits that $1/lb mark!
• Blueberries - $2.88 full pint -- Man! So many blueberry deals! Where are these coming from?!
• Romaine lettuce - $2.88 3-pack -- Nice! Fair price for romaine hearts.
• Baby spinach - $1.97 140g bin -- Good price for 140g. The prices of these bins are the weights are all over the place. Some places charge $4 for the same bin. And then some others charge $4 for 300g bins. Treat carefully!
• Canned tomatoes (Primo) - $3.00 for 2 796ml cans -- Good price for nice tomatoes. Funny enough, in this week's flyer, they advertise the Great Value (housebrand) tomatoes for 1.77 being 50c, but if you buy two Primo cans they work out to 50c less than the Great Value (confused yet? Lol)
• Fireworks - various -- LOL I just wanted to mention they got fireworks and firecrackers hahaha
• Produce Price Rating: Generally on the low side.

Green Fresh Supermarket (Vanier) (check https://greenfreshottawa20.wixsite.com/greenfreshottawa)

• Produce Price Rating: Usually very competitive, catering to Asian cuisine. Warning: their newest sales start on Fridays - so this is a late advertising of their sales.

IGA (price matcher)

• Hotdog wieners (Lafleur) - $5.00 for 2 packs 375-450g -- More hot dog prices for our analysis. I'm noting these to get a sense of what the heck is going on with these….
• Lobster (cooked or live) - $7.75 per lb -- Scene Member Price. 9.75/lb regular. Awesome deal!
• Tomahawk steak - $13.99 per lb -- That's pretty good for a fancy steak cut. I like thick cut steak because you can get that and crust without overcooking the meat. Pro tip: always salt and set your steak uncovered to dry in the fridge. That's what gets you a top-notch crust!
• Veal loin rack - $13.99 per lb -- This is more interesting than a value proposition. Expect a decent-sized rack to run you a pretty penny, but it should cook nicely. Remember to let it rest after it reaches the desired internal temp. Be patient!
• Whole chicken (fresh) - $1.99 per lb -- Great price!!
• Eggs (Nutri, Burnbrae) - $5.79 18-pack -- Not a ground-breaker price. Maybe it's just nice see some price stability in egg prices.
• Corn - $4.00 for 10 ears -- Excellent deal at 40c an ear!
• Cherries - $4.99 per lb -- Awesome!!! Cherries can easily reach into the $8-9/lb range.
• Bologna (Lesters) - $5.49 675g chub -- This is a good price for a chub. It's not fancy deli, but it beats the prices by 2-3x or more given you're paying 81c/100g.
• Deli - Cooked ham (Olymel) - $1.99 per 100g -- Speaking of deli prices, consider this unholy monolith slab of ham versus that slice-it-yourself bologna. This "hamalgum sibling" is 2.5x the price of the bologna by Lesters… Just saying…
• Produce Price Rating: Medium

Independent

• Pork back rib - $3.99 per lb -- Meh price for pork rib… $3/lb is good, but $4/lb doesn't seem worth it when it's largely bone anyway! I'd rather buy the duck they have for $4/lb….
• Atlantic salmon - $9.99 per lb -- Average price for pink fish.
• Beef striploin steaks (AA) - $7.88 per lb -- Good enough price for steaks, but FoodLand had AAA grade for the same price.
• Duck (fresh, grade A) - $3.99 per lb -- Good rate for duck.
• Asparagus - $2.99 per lb -- Meh rate. There's better.
• Strawberries - $2.49 454g shell -- Good price for strawberries.
• Butter (Lactantia) - $5.99 454g bar -- Sigh… I wish butter would come down in price…
• Produce Price Rating: fairly high with few exceptions

Loblaws

• Pork back rib - $3.99 per lb -- Meh price for pork rib… $3/lb is good, but $4/lb doesn't seem worth it when it's largely bone anyway! I'd rather buy the duck they have for $4/lb….
• Atlantic salmon - $9.99 per lb -- Average price for pink fish.
• Beef striploin steaks (AA) - $8.88 per lb -- Ben là là! Same AA steak, $1/lb more…
• Beef boneless blade roast (AA) - $8.99 per lb -- Ok price for beef… It's kind of meh… Consider visiting local butchers to see what they have going on.
• Duck (fresh, grade A) - $3.99 per lb -- Good rate for duck.
• Sweet potatoes - $3.99 5lb bag -- Great price for sweet potatoes
• Mini-cucumbers - $1.99 6-pack -- "Save $2". Ya, we know Loblaws. I've been saving $2 on these packs for months now at other stores.
• Blueberries - $1.99 full pint -- Great price for blueberries!
• Mango - $0.99 each -- Fair price for mango considering I've seen Loblaws charge much more for them. Also, I expect we'll see some nice sub-$1 deals in the future.
• Butter (Lactantia) - $5.99 454g bar -- More $6 butter.
• Produce Price Rating: fairly high with few exceptions

Provigo

• Pork chops - $2.49 per lb -- Good price for pork chops.
• Chicken breast and thighs (boneless skinless) - $4.99 per lb -- Good price chicken.
• Atlantic salmon - $8.99 per lb -- Good price for pink fish.
• Corn - $5.00 4-pack -- What?! How can we have these disparities… Maxi has theirs for 33c an ear. That's $1.30 versus $5 for 4 ears… Insane difference in price…
• Watermelon (9lb average) - $3.88 each -- Nice price for watermelon.
• Mango - $0.99 each -- That $1 deal again. "Save $2". Meaning regular price was $3. Insanity.
• Deli - Mock chicken (Gaspésien) - $1.29 per 100g -- Good price for deli, but it's mock chicken. I would refer back to the IGA deal on Lesters bologna. Buy whole chubs, slice it yourself, and save.
• Produce Price Rating: fairly high with few exceptions

Maxi (price matcher)

• Ground beef (medum) - $8.88 1.1kg -- About 2.5lb of beef, which clocks this in at about 3.50/lb. That's pretty good!
• Corn - $0.33 per ear -- Awesome price for corn! It's crazy. Provigo had their 4-packs for $5. Which
• Mini-cucumbers - $0.88 6-pack -- Very nice! A regular "good deal" is $2.
• Coleslaw kit (Florette) - $1.88 340g kit -- Great deal for a salad kit.
• Potatoes (Imperfect) - $4.88 15lb bag -- Excellent!!
• Mini-carrots - $4.88 2lb bag -- This is a good deal given a 2/3lb bag can be $2-3.
• Watermelon - $2.88 each -- Nice price for watermelon, but no weight advertised.
• Kiwis - $4.88 600g pack -- Pretty good. Can be as low as $4, but this is a fair price.
• Apples (Cortland, Empire) - $5.88 4lb bag -- Ok price for what should be over-winter apples. Mind the bruising.
• Fancy cheese deal - $18.00 for 3 -- Check the flyer and in-store for more details.
• Sriracha (Flying Goose) - $3.88 730ml bottle -- Nice! It's a different brand, but the price is right. I wonder what the difference is.
• Silk plant bev - $6.88 for 2 1.75-1.89L jugs -- Good deal.
• White vinegar - $2.88 for 2 4L jugs -- This might be good to get in advance of some pickling plans.
• Produce Price Rating: Generally medium low pricing! This store can post some impressive deals at times.

Metro

• Pork back rib - $2.99 per lb -- Good price for pork rib. It's that magical $3/lb mark. It's hard to find rib for less. And, I wouldn't pay over $3/lb.
• Beef top sirloin steak or roast (AAA) - $6.88 per lb -- Great price for AAA grade beef! They also have "platinum angus medallions" for 8.88/lb.
• Fresh sausage - $4.99 per lb -- Great price for fresh sausage. You can spend $1/lb more and get organic stuff by Dubreton.
• Cucumber - $0.77 each -- Awesome!!!
• Cauliflower - $2.99 each -- Decent. Not amazing, but decent given a head can go for $4-5 easily.
• Portabella mushrooms (Belle Grove) - $6.99 4-pack -- Hmm, I'll have to keep an eye out for prices on portabellas. This doesn't seem that bad off the hop. I know sometimes you can get 4-6 packs for about $4-5, though. But, you have to hunt around town for deals like that.
• Blueberries - $1.99 full pint -- Great price for blueberries!
• Cherries - $5.99 per lb -- Nice! Fair sale price for cherries!
• Watermelon (15lb average) - $9.99 each -- Trying to make sense of these watermelon prices. This isn't as good as some other deals. But considering on the same page they advertise 1.49/lb for sliced watermelon, it suggests this watermelon could cost you up to $22.
• Butter (Selection) - $4.88 454g bar -- $5 butter.
• Produce Price Rating: High. Kinda like Sobeys. You can see a 50% average mark-up compared to a lot of other stores. It's nice produce, but it costs you.

No Frills (price matcher)

• Beef burgers (No Name) - $9.99 1.36kg 12-pack -- Just more frozen burger musing. Basically much like the Compliments ones we saw earlier, but 113g each, but with more sugars and funny ingredients, and the same amount of sat-fat! (And they skip mentioning that 75%-ish daily value number for the sat-fat). Like, what the heck are "onion extract" and "corn syrup solids". Do they squeeze the onion and throw away the rind? And isn't solid syrup just solid sugar? lol....
• T-bone/Wing steak - $6.99 per lb -- This might seem like a good deal, but it's ungraded beef. Why pay this price when metro has AAA-grade steaks for a smidge less?
• Picnic pork shoulder - $2.44 per lb -- Excellent price! These are AWESOME for smoking and braising for pulled pork!
• Ground chicken or turkey - $8.00 870g pack -- Not bad. Works out to about $4.20/lb or so.
• Ground beef (lean) - $6.00 450g tube -- Really a meh price for "tube meat".
• Steelhead trout fillet - $9.99 per lb -- Standard pricing for pink fish.
• Asparagus - $2.99 per lb -- Ok price for asparagus. I expect better from No Frills.
• Green beans - $2.99 per lb -- Same with the green beans, I expect a bit better.
• Cucumber - $0.99 each -- Good price for cucumber.
• Mini-cucumber - $3.99 11-pack -- Fair price on the 11-pack. Meanwhile, Maxi has the 6-pack for 88c… Sigh…
• Watermelon (9lb average) - $2.99 each -- Good price for melon.
• Ataulfo mangoes - $5.64 5lb case -- This should work out to about 8 or so mangoes. Good deal.
• Pineapple - $2.99 each -- Good price for pineapple.
• Brick cheese (Armstrong) - $5.49 400g bar -- Hmm, ya, seeing some 50c to $1 upward pressure on cheese pricing a little everywhere….
• Earth's Own plant bev - $3.79 1.74-1.89L jug -- Good price. Regular floats well into the $5-ish ranges.
• Dry pasta (Italpasta) - $1.25 750g packs -- Good price for dry pasta. Stock up a little. Maybe there's a potluck pasta salad in your future.
• Produce Price Rating: Generally quite low, selectively amazing for some items.

Produce Depot (usually a little late on the flyer) https://producedepot.ca/

• Ground beef (lean) - $4.99 per lb -- Fair rate for ground beef. Considering No Frills is selling 450g tube meat for $6, I'd buy this in a heartbeat. It's just not stock-up pricing.
• Beef New York striploin steak - $12.99 per lb -- I wish they'd mention the grade, but if it looks nice, it could make for a nice BBQ item.
• Whole atlantic salmon (fresh) - $6.99 per lb -- Now, it's not filet and deboned, but it's a heckin' deal for salmon.
• Wild-caught squid - $8.99 per lb -- Perhaps there's calamari in your future?
• Hothouse tomatoes - $1.29 per lb -- Great price for tomatoes!
• Green and red leaf lettuce - $1.69 per head -- Great price for leafy greens!
• Sweet orange peppers - $0.99 per lb -- AWESOME price for peppers!!!
• Brussel sprouts - $1.49 per lb -- Fantastic price for brussel sprouts! Often over $3/lb.
• Blackberries - $1.49 half pint -- Good deal for blackberries. Lots of blueberries going around, though.
• Red seedless grapes - $1.99 per lb -- Fantastic price for grapes! Often $4/lb.
• Peaches - $2.49 per lb -- These are from the USA. It could be a they come out a little tough. Leave them on the counter to ripen, but eat them fast after that!
• Cheese counter - Landana smoked cheese - $2.39 per 100g -- I'm partial to smoked cheese. This could make for a nice fancy burger topping.
• Deli - Genoa salami (Mastro) - $2.59 per 100g -- This isn't fantastic pricing, but fair. A 600g chub can clock in at $10-12 or so, this deli counter pricing is fairly competitive.
• Produce Price Rating: Medium-low with very competitive specials on a shortened flyer. The small flyer is nice because it doesn't uselessly feature $6 heads of cauliflower and extremely high-price items that are either a confusion on the consumer, or an insult on the injury of not being able to afford supreme quality items.

Real Canadian Superstore (price matcher)

• Beef rib-steak (ungraded) - $7.88 per lb -- More ungraded beef at graded prices.
• Pork tenderloin - $3.49 per lb -- Fair price for tenderloin.
• Duck (frozen, grade A) - $3.99 per lb -- Fairly regular price for duck.
• Golden Pompano (frozen) - $2.88 per lb -- This is advertised a lot at the RCSS. I've never seen it elsewhere. Does anyone have experience with it?
• Dressed Tilapia (frozen) - $2.88 per lb -- Dressed means tail and fines removed,
• Potatoes - $5.50 10lb bag -- Great price for potatoes.
• Corn - $0.40 per ear -- Awesome price for corn. This is probably loss-leader territory.
• Watermelon (11lb average) - $3.99 each -- Good price for a big melon.
• Pineapple - $3.00 each -- Good price for pineapple.
• Produce Price Rating: Generally medium-low pricing, selectively amazing for some items.

Sobeys

• Chicken thighs (boneless skinless) - $5.99 per lb -- Fair price for boneless chicken. There's better out there, however.
• Beef striploin steaks (AA) - $8.77 per lb -- Scene Member Price.
• Beef sirloin tip roast or marinating steaks (AAA) - $8.99 per lb -- Hmm, striploin AA versus sirloin tip AAA… Might be a toss up. Sirloin is leaner and has less marbling. But AAA might lend to a tenderness. This may be give and take, here…
• Lobster (live) - $10.99 per lb -- Scene Member Price.
• Pork chops - $3.49 per lb -- Not a great price, really, but it may be your option if you're stuck with Sobey's this week. Ad mentions it includes roasts.
• Picnic pork shoulder - $3.49 per lb -- We saw No Frills offereing this at 2.44/lb. A $1/lb more isn't great, admittedly. But, it's an option.
• Asparagus - $2.44 per lb -- Good price!
• Green beans - $2.67 per lb -- Good price!
• Bok choy - $0.99 per lb -- Amazing price. I don't get how other places charge $2/lb+ for choy, and then you have Sobeys of all stores swooping in to corner that side of the market.
• Asian pears - $0.99 per lb -- Awesome price!
• Brick cheese (Cracker Barrel) - $5.77 400g bar -- More of this elevated cheese pricing… Hmm….
• Produce Price Rating: Generally a high price store, especially for produce. Some items are 50% more than more value-oriented stores. Kinda like Metro, some of the deals can be quite good.

Super C

• Chicken breast (boneless skinless) - $4.44 per lb -- Awesome price!!
• Atlantic salmon - $9.88 per lb -- Standard sale price for pink fish.
• Pork tenderloin (marinated) - $3.44 per lb -- Good price. Not amazing. But, pre-marinated? Hmm, makes for an easy meal.
• Corn - $1.88 for 5 ears -- Awesome price!! Under 40c an ear!
• Broccoli - $1.33 per crown -- Very good price for broc, especially if the crowns are nice. A good crown can easily range over $2.
• Radishes - $0.99 per bunch -- Nice! A good addition to salads or veg trays.
• Green onions - $0.99 per bunch -- Fair price for green onion. It's hard to find it under $1.
• Mini-carrots - $0.99 340g bag -- Nice!
• Mini-cucumbers - $1.99 6-pack -- Fair going-rate now for mini cuce. A very welcome change from charging $4 for these packs.
• Mini-potatoes - $1.99 3lb bag -- Good price for mini potatoes. There's still better value in regular size potatoes most of the time. But, sometimes, these sales can negate that value proposition. Plus, these are nice a thousands ways to Sunday. They cook very quickly, and are great oven-roasted, steamed, and BBQ'ed with other veg.
• Apples (Empire, Spartan) - $3.99 3lb bag -- Fair price for apples these days, it seems. I think we'll be hard-pressed to find certain varieties for under $1/lb for a while.
• Strawberries - $1.63 454g shell -- Awesome price!!!
• Pineapple - $1.88 each -- Fantastic!
• Oranges - $2.99 3lb bag -- Good price for oranges!
• Mangos - $0.99 each -- Good price. Mangoes should clock in at around $1 each. Enough of these $2-3 mangos…
• Cantaloupe - $2.99 each -- Good price/fair sale price for cantaloupe.
• Cherries - $4.99 per lb -- Wow! Great price for cherries!!!
• Brick cheese (Black Diamond, Ptit Quebec) - $4.87 400g bar -- Nice to see we still ahve sub-$5 cheese options this week.
• Fancy cheese deal - $18.00 for 3 -- Apparently includes 20 different varieties.
• Produce Price Rating: Generally low, but can creep into medium for some items. But, there's always something decent available!

T&T Supermarket https://www.tntsupermarket.com

• Produce Price Rating: Usually very competitive, catering to Asian cuisine. Warning: their newest sales start on Fridays - so this is a late advertising of their sales.

Walmart

• Ground beef (lean) - $3.97 per lb -- Excellent rate on ground beef! Make your own burgers!!!!
• Chicken or Pork kabobs (Marcangelo) - $7.87 480-640g 8-packs -- It's basically $1 a kabob. That ain't bad for a ready-to-cook item. But, note that this translates essentially into 8/lb at worst, or 5.50/lb at best. There are WAY better deals on pork and chicken around.
• Asparagus - $2.97 per lb -- Fair price for asparagus.
• Corn - $0.32 per ear -- Best price on corn this week!
• Potatoes - $4.97 10lb bag -- Good price for a 10lb bag.
• Coleslaw kit - $2.77 397g kit -- Good price for a decent-size slaw kit.
• Strawberries - $1.84 454g shell -- Awesome price!!!
• Pineapple - $3.97 each -- Not bad. I like to see $3, and less shouldn't be taken for granted. Remember, it takes 2 years to grow a pineapple. One bad fungal disease and we should see these shoot up to $6-8 a piece. Treasure well-priced pineapple!
• Brick cheese (Armstrong) - $4.94 400g bar -- Another $5 brick cheese sale.
• Produce Price Rating: A little all over the place. Some really good prices between a lot of average pricing.

Costco (Note that these are the online/shipped prices - reduce each item by $3 for in-store pricing)

• NOTE: NEED TO REVISE - --
• Paper Towel (Kirkland) - $27.99 12-roll pack -- 2-ply; 160 sheets
• Paper Towel (Bounty) - $27.49 12-roll pack -- 2-ply; 86 sheets
• Toilet Paper (Kirkland) - $25.99 30-roll pack -- 2-ply; 380 sheets
• Toilet Paper (Cashmere) - $24.99 40-roll pack -- 2-ply; 250 sheets (on sale)
• Dish soap (Dawn Platinum) - $18.99 2.66L -- Food Basics often has this jug for $10!
• Laundry detergent (Purex) - $24.99 9.24L -- 250 loads
• Garbage bags (30 gallon; large) - $15.99 100-pack -- Amazon has Glad standard 74L bags, 100-packs for $23, sometimes less if on sale
• Countertop green bin liners - $21.99 125-pack -- Amazon has Glad Compostable green bin liners 100-packs for $18, sometimes less if on sale
• Produce Price Rating: I need to do a proper check to be sure, but I find it's pretty average. There's an illusion of getting a good deal because of the bulk. Just be careful.

Jean Coutu (new sales start Fridays)

• Produce Price Rating: I have to start checking these just in case...

Shoppers Drug Mart (new sales start Fridays)

• Produce Price Rating: Sometimes they have cheap butter, eggs, and milk on weekends.

Some additional references!

• Grocery Review Google Drive Location https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1xhLvBP1smXb1eSnxAW5yyBjO2aYFLJHC?usp=sharing
• Cooking Tips and Recipes https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1TCcHm9y0kWIa3x18hznKN2ix0BPcUv-m?usp=drive_link
• Google Maps list of the Grocery stores in Ottawa https://maps.app.goo.gl/YT7cZmv8vMQWU4J59

I’m back with another boomer tale relating to my small baking business! I bake items with rainbow colors and sprinkles aka fun. I was freezing at an event last month (weirdly cold and windy day) and some old lady came up to my booth. I was busy with another customer when suddenly she said with a sneer on her face “I’d buy your cookies if they didn’t have those gay sprinkles in them.” I was dumbfounded for a minute because they’re sprinkles, rainbow jimmies in a brown butter chocolate chip cookie. But i eventually answered “well ok that’s your loss” and proceeded to ignore her. Like wtf they’re just sprinkles but sure don’t buy my delicious cookie I don’t care. Why can’t they just walk away if they don’t like it?