Sample volunteer thank you letter

First off, huge thanks to everyone who has posted about their experiences with durability claims - you all truly gave me so much incredible information that I walked in to the VSO with a complete claim that had our officer impressed. My husband is currently rated 50% for PTSD (rated since 2018). He was recently diagnosed with OSA, and he's had sleep disturbance issues since I met him a month of out of the Marines in '05. I did a ton of research, got our primary care doc to write a fantastic Nexus letter, and wrote my own corroborating lay statement.
We had his C&P exam yesterday for OSA, right knee pain, rhinitis, and sinusitis. We've already gotten a letter saying they were denying his knee claim because he already claimed it in 2018 and they denied it, but I'm hoping they'll re-evaluate based on yesterday's exam.
I read all the tips and tricks on c&p exams from you guys and proud my husband on what to expect and what to watch out for, and when I tell you we got the best and most thorough examine we could have asked for, it's no joke. We had to drive 2.5 hours each way, but she was friendly, thorough, took the time to compare what the VA is looking for as to ratings schedule and ask specific questions to accurately match his symptoms to ratings. She did a thorough physical examination, and asked for me to print out our nexus letter in her office so she could match her notes and opinions to that of our doctor. She far exceeded every expectation and I'm so glad to know that there are people like her in the system that genuinely have the best interest of our veterans at heart. They had a qr code in the lobby asking for reviews and I left a glowing one before we were even out of the parking lot.
Best I can figure if all of this goes favorably he will end up at 90%, which would be a huge relief to know that he would qualify for more/better care as he gets older. We don't have enough to get him to 100% on this claim, but considering he never wanted to file in 2018 to begin with, I'm happy he's taking steps and realizing that it's OK to be compensated for the changes he'll face for the rest of his life due to a decision he made when was 19. I wish every veteran had an advocate that could be their voice of reason when they can't or won't advocate for themselves and to have the support they so desperately need when navigating such a complex and frustrating system while in the throes of their own personal struggles.
Thank you all for your service, and thank you for sharing your experiences to help pave the way for others ❤️

Hey everyone, I plan on skillbridging next January and have an expected DOS next March 15th. I have most of my skillbridge application ready to route up command but need my approved separation letter I think (according to the memo). Is this something you can get early because I would like to route up my application for skillbridge around 6 months out if not sooner? This will give me time to worry about medical appointments/terminal leave/HHG move etc.
Also does anyone know if you can use terminal leave before skillbridge? My skillbridge is 4 months long and starts Jan 2nd. With an out date of March 15th that would be about a month past my DOS and terminal leave would be wasted, unless I used it beforehand, during December or something. Thanks for any help!

Hello! Thank you to all who are on this subreddit. It has been very helpful to me. I am a rising senior in college who is looking to apply to PsyD programs to start in Fall of 2025. I am a BS psychology major with a minor in statistics. I have a 3.9 GPA. I am involved in three clubs on campus, heavily involved/leader of one of them, and a member of psychology honor society. I have worked coaching youth sports for the the past few summers, and even work with youth during the school year. In the past I have worked on a crisis hotline as well. This summer I am volunteering at a private practice to get clinical hours, and I am involved in assisting with a research project with a clinical psychologist who is writing a paper. I was wondering if I could get insight on my competitiveness for PsyD programs, specifically the top ones. Is it possible to get into PsyD programs straight from undergrad? Also, is there anywhere my application can be improved/strengthened? Thank you in advance to anyone who provided feedback!

Hey everyone, I plan on skillbridging next January and have an expected DOS next March 15th. I have most of my skillbridge application ready to route up command but need my approved separation letter I think. Is this something you can get early because I would like to route up my application for skillbridge around 6 months out if not sooner? This will give me time to worry about our medical appointments/terminal leave/HHG move etc.
Also does anyone know if you can use terminal leave before skillbridge? My skillbridge is 4 months long and starts Jan 2nd. With an out date of March 15th that would be about a month past my DOS and terminal leave would be wasted, unless I used it beforehand, during December or something. Thanks for any help!

I know this may sound old fashion, but I do think penmanship is important. I am the sort who still enjoys penning letters to people who I haven't seen, or to businesses to thank them when my experiences were positive. Maybe I'm being silly, but I think a handwritten letter can be more impactful than something printed out or an email. Additionally, I think writing in this way encourages you to be more thoughtful, as you obviously can't just delete a mistake as easily as you can on a PC.
As such, I've become discouraged that my daughter (12) not only has some of the worst penmanship that I've ever seen, but also sees writing anything out by hand as absolute torture. She's blatantly of the mindset that there's no reason to bother when everything's done digitally. Recently, she had to compose an essay for class. Now the teacher is not requiring students to doing any writing by hand, of course, but I decided that I'd prefer my daughter start putting in some effort on improving her handwriting. I told her that regardless of what her teacher expected, I wanted her to handwrite out her essay for me. I also said that I expected it to neat and for her to focus on penmanship rather than speed.
Naturally, my daughter did not like this. She threw a tantrum, insisted I was abusing her, and cried in her room nonstop for nearly an hour. When my wife got my home, our daughter told her why she was upset, and my took her side, insisting that if the teacher wasn't requiring it, there was no need for the extra labor.
Now, in my opinion, as her father, I see it as just as much my job to educate her, if not more. I think it should be fine for me to task my child to improve herself. But, obviously, she is also my wife's child, and I don't want to be a hypocrite by acting as if my opinion should be more valid than her own.
AITA on this one?

This is probably a longer story than it really is, but I am just trying to give as much context as I can.
In grade 11, me (F16-17) and my ex-friend (F16-17) were best friends. For some context, we both became friends fairly early in high school. In my country high school is from grade 8-grade 12. I joined the high school in grade 8 from out of city, the high school is just closer to me than the one in my city, so I was a new kid. I made some friends in grade 8 as a new kid but those friendships did end in grade 9. Grade 9 is when my best friend, we'll call her Emily, transferred to the school. And we formed a friendship. Through grade 9 we had formed our own little friend group with 2 other girls, we'll name them Clara and Sabrina. It was the 4 of us through majority of high school. We would always text each other, always hang out after school, spend any break we had at school together and had as much fun as any girls in high school could have (minus the partying because my school is not a partying school).
Emily and I were the closet in the friend group, afterall we were pretty similar and come from similar backgrounds (We're both a type of asian). We both would be described as the smart kids. We both would end up getting high grades in all of our classes. In grade 9, when we met, she told the friend group her dream was to become a doctor like her parents were, so she studied extra hard in high school to keep her grades high. I, on the other hand, did not really have any specific dreams. I wanted to become a writer or even a lawyer (but was worried because I'm not the best speaker). Due to that, I never tried that hard at school. Like i care about grades, my parents cared a lot about me getting high grades, but I wasn't studying for anything. And with that I never really studied either, I would do my homework and pay attention in class and take pretty notes but I was not spending any real time after class to do work Which is something that Emily would do. She would spend hours and hours a day just studying. If she wasn't studying she would be doing some volunterring or some club stuff.
Fast forward to grade 11. Right from the beginning of the year something just felt odd about our relationship. She seemed distant. Which I chalked up to it being we were now considered seniors at our high school so she was starting to stress about universities already, but it was still whatever. My school worked in semesters, so for half of the year we would have 4 specific classes which would then switch to different classes in second semester. During first semester I didn't have any classes with any of my friends. I was just chilling in all of my classess and getting adopted into different group friends in those classes. I was always well-liked in high school, I was not a popular kid. But compared to all the smart kids in the school, I was deemed the nicest so because of that everyone would be nice to me and friendly (even though I know for some of them it was so they could get hw answers out of me, but they were still very nice to me).
During this time, my friends and I would make up plans to hang out. We always made it a point to hang out at least once a week outside of school. It was always after school, we would usually study, walk around or go to the mall. In our gc on insta we would always double check with one another on which days to do it. Clara, Sabrina and I would always talk in the gc and were always the ones initiating the plans. Emily was also in the gc but would rarely reply to anything. Any times we would make plans to hang out, Emily would either not reply (which would then lead us to asking her during lunch the next day if she was free, where she would barely talk) or she would just say no to all plans. The few times she would say yes, she would always cancel the day of. Which would be annoying, and Clara, Sabrina and I would talk amongst ourselves that we found it odd she would always cancel and never want to hang out outside of school, but we were like it's not that big of a deal. She could just be busy.
We then just ahead to my birthday. Now i have an early birthday and it falls around the time that we come back to school after the winter break. Now during the winter break, Clara, Sabrina and I formed a seperate gc as it would just be the three of us talking and making plans. We also always took so many pictures and felt bad about sending it into the gc with the four of us in it as we didnt want Emily to feel bad about not coming. So we figured it was better if we kept it seperate. But in the main gc, I just ask when is everyone free to do something small. I'm not really a birthday person. Since high school, all my birthdays include going to some cozy restauraunt with my 4 closest friends and just having a casual dinner. So I ask and everyone leaves their responses, including Emily. We decide on a day, it would be after school just a day or two after my actual birthday and we would be going to a restuarunt and an arcade nearby (I have strict parents so I really wasn't allowed to go out late or really go out anywhere far). The plan is made and everything is set. When the day comes for the dinnearcade, we all meet up by our lockers to go take the bus together.
The 3 of us are there waiting for Emily to come and she does just a few minutes late. That is when she tells us she can't come because she has a club meeting today, and she told us it was mandatory for us to attend. Now of course my friends and I tried to convince her to blow it off just this one time, but she was adamant about going. So, whatever. We say bye to her and start walking to the bus. While walking there we bump into a mutual friend, also waiting for the bus. She is also in the same club, so we confused why she was here. We do ask her, saying "hey isn't there something happening with the club today?" That is when she tells us there was just this small meeting recapping what had happened in last weeks meeting for the people who missed it. Meaning the meeting was not madatory at all, especially when Emily had cancelled our plans last week to go to this said meeting. Meaning she did sort of lie to get out of going to my birthday party. I of course was hurt by this. When she told us she had to go to the meeting, I didn't think much of it as I knew how much school mattered to her and how much doing this club stuff mattered. But she had the choice to come, and she decided to just blow me off. We went out and had fun and didn't bring the matter up with her. We figured it was just her caring a bit too much about school.
Anyways this whole cancelling plans last minute, ghosting the main gc thing happened more and more. It also got to the point where if I wanted to talk to her, whether that was through text or in real life I would always have to approach her first. As this carried on for a while, i of course was getting a bit annoyed about where this friendship was going.
We now get to Emily's birthday a month later. Now Emily decided to plan her birthday, very last minute. I am just pointing this out as i am not a person who can do spontaneous plans, one because i have this need to plan properly and two because I do have strict parents. So i can't just spring a plan on them the day of and expect to go. Which is something Emily knows. Anyways she makes the plan and i tell my mom about it to ask if i can go and she says yes. The day before, Emily then decides to change the plan entirely. We were going to go into downtown city (for context, it's roughly 2 hours transit from our neighborhood). I obviously had to ask permission as she wanted to stay out late which is not something my parents would like, so when Emily told us at lunch the change in plans, Clara, Sabrina I told her we had to double check if we can still go as we all have strict parents, but our extended friend group were all down to go.
After school, the four of us head into the bathroom, which is a toally normal thing for high school girls to do before we headed out. While there Emily then decides to start a fight with me about not going to her birthday, which hasn't happened yet. She starts yelling at me about how Im mad that she didn't go to my birthday and am not going to hers as revenge (I'll be honest, I kinda forgot she didn't go). And starts yelling at me about how I'm being a bad friend and frankly a b*tch. And when I say she is screaming at me, I mean there is the largest echo circling our bathroom as she yells at me. Now I'm just standing there, trying to reason with her. I'm just trying to explain to her that i didn't say i wasn't coming, i just needed to get permission to go, which is something that Clara and Sarbina said as well but Emily wasn't saying anything about them. She proceeded to just yell at me for a solid 5 minutes. Another girl did walk into the bathroom, saw Emily yelling and just left, which I feel bad about. I do not do well with someone yelling at me, so I just tell her that I'm leaving now and we can talk later. I practically run out of the bathroom and out of school. Clara runs up to me and says i can't go home feeling like this. I felt horrible, i felt like throwing up. So Clara makes it her job to cheer me up as Sabrina is trying to calm Emily down. Clara takes me to Mcdonalds, where we split a meal as that became a tradition of ours and she bought me ice-cream to make me feel better. We end up spending roughly and hour and half there before starting to walk back to our houses. I did feel a lot better and I was smiling. Clara didn't really say much about what happened as she knew it would upset me. She just said that Emily was being mean and left it at that. At some point during our walk, Emily calls Clara and starts screaming at Clara over the phone about choosing "my side". I only know it was Emily because I can hear her screaming through the phone and Clara is trying to be nice to her and say she was comforting her friend like a good one would do. Emily continues screaming and Clara just hangs up on her.
We don't talk about it. Now the next day, at school, is Emily's birthday. I feel so awkward. Because i'm still upset about what happened. When I see her, I'm not sure if I should wish her a happy birthday. I feel like I am owed an apology first. so i don't really say anything to her. and we don't really talk. Now we are in the same Chemistry honours class together and are lab partners. So we have to talk. I ask her, if we're going to talk about what happened. And she just says, no, it's my birthday. I just say really but she doesn't say anything after. So Im just like, fine, whatever. We spend the entire class in awkward silence, and I do not see her again the entire day. Even at lunch because she has a club meeting or something. Clara, Sabrina and I all agree that we don't want to talk about it. Clara got an apology text last night but she was still mad about being yelled at over the phone. Sabrina asked us if we wanted to know what her and Emily talked about yesterday but i said no. I was frankly too mad and knew if anything was said, I would be upset. Emily did not end up having a birthday party. and there is now an awkward silence between the 4 of us. it's like a horror movie, where the music is playing and you just know something bad is coming and you have to wait for it.
A few days later, I know i have to say something. I can feel that our friendship is hanging by a thread and I want my best friend back. So at lunch, while we're all sitting by our lockers I bring up the topic. I do not remember the conversation that took place. All I know was that Emily was practically screaming in my face, in front of all our friends (Clara, Sabrina and 5 of our other friends). Everyone is trying to get her to stop, but she keeps yelling at me. At some point I just start crying. Now this is the first time, that someone outside of my family, has ever made me cry. Its the first time I have ever cried at school too. The tears are flowing down my face as I just say "i'm sorry i cant do this" to the rest of our friends as i had off to the bathroom to calm down. Clara and one of our other friends rush off with me to try to calm me down and stop the tears. But they keep coming. I can't stop them and am now in the bathroom splashing my face with water and doing my best to wipe them all away. Clara, this other friend and i all have the same class next. So they have to literally drag me to class as I'm sort of paralyzed about whats happening. When we get to the classroom, everyone there, which was half of the class is looking at me and seeing my red, teared-up face. Our seats are at the very back corner of the classroom, on the very opposite side from the door. So i have to walk past the entire face as they all stare at me and wonder whats happening. the entire time im not really paying any attention. during little work periods in the class, my fellow classmates would walk up to me and ask if im okay. which i would say yes, i was even though i wasnt because what else could i say. I ended up powering through the rest of the day before going home and wonderign what to do.
In the secret gc, I text with Clara and Sabrina about what my next steps should be. They suggest we have an actual therapy session as a friend group to discuss if we even want to be friends at this point. I agree to this. I even start writing up my own speech I am going to tell Emily when i see her.
So I'm just going to jump ahead to whenever this happens. It's during lunch, outside on the grass field. I am calm, I know what to say and everything. I'm sitting there with Clara and Sabrina has to literally drag Emily out of school to come and talk. I kid you not. We have like an hour for lunch. It takes 20 minutes for Emily to finally show up. And she shows up like, "ugh what are we even doing here? im kinda busy" and just acts like there is nothing at all wrong. I start to calmly explain to her how ive been feeling the entire year. I do not remmeber the conversation. But what I remember talking about is how i feel like she's distant, she's always cancelling plans, im always the one texting her first, about how she gets mad at me for small little things, how she yells at me, etc. My whole speech was about how "i don't want to feel like sh*t for trying to continue this friendship". Because even after the first time she yelled at me, I just wanted an apology and we could move on and that didn't happen. And now Im just like I don't want to cry again and don't want my tears to come from someone who's supposed to be my best friend. She does argue her case in this. Her whole thing is how "i'm being clingy and annoying and controlling".
Now for her arguement, I think it should be known more about my persoanlity type. I am not the best people person. I have social anxiety and how that manifests in me is that i can't really talk to people that well. I don't know how to converse and get incredibly nervous to talk to anyone new. So when I do become friends with someone, I do latch on to them. I talk to them all the time, when i can, and they become my person. I think that is where the clingy party comes from. For the controlling/annoying thing, I can only chalk it up to me always texting her. Like i said, i would always have to be the one initating our conversations and plans. So our chats always look like 5 bubbles of text from me (because i am the person that types in multiple bubbles rather than one large text bubble) and her short responses. When it comes to plans, as I said i do not do spontaenous plans. I need to have them properly organized for both my parents sakes and my sake. I'm not someone who plans everything out minute by minute, I just need to know times and places. And if you are actually free.
Thankfully this time, Emily isn't yelling at me however she is talkimg a bit loudly. Now at this point we have spent 25ish minutes talking about this when she suddently gets up and says "i have to go otherwise i'll be late for my class and get in trouble". Which there is still 15 minutes before lunch ends. And her classroom is across the hallway from my next class with Clara. The walk from the grass field was literally 2 minutes. Our coversation wasn;t done. There was no convlusion and no real understanding on either part. So all of us get up as Emily starts speed walking and we all chase her. We're all telling her there is still so much time left, but she doesn't listen and still carries on. So then I say, "i don't want to be friends anymore if this is what it's going to be like". and she says "fine." and walks away. and that was the end of our friendship.
It was almost spring break and our friends were doing their best to navigate the situation. I think they believed we both needed time to cool down and we can all be friends again. However that didn;t happen. Emily and i agreed to be civil as we still had the same friend group but she never really hung out with us in the next couple days, or talked during lunch and that was it.
The two of us did not talk at all. The only times we did was in our Chemistry class, where she did the most un-civil thing ever. As I said we were lab partners. Anytime we had any lab, involing the microscope, I would always be the person doing the microscope work as Emily writes down the results of what I found. I would then get the numbers or obersations from her and add them to my worksheet as our teacher wanted us to work in partners but submit our own work. This one lab went off for too long and the bell rung. So as we are packing up quickly, I ask Emily for the numbers she wrote down. She said she's late for something and will send me the numbers later today. And I'm like fine. She never did. It was also a Friday so we went into the weekend and she never sent me anything. I did text her once on Saturday and another time on Sunday if she could send it. but she never replied and i just asked another classmate if they could send me their answers. If our teacher asked why did we as partners have different answers, I was going to tell him Emily wouldn't give them to me. He never did ask and that was the last time we really talked.
We then headed into spring break which ended up turning into the pandemic lockdown. Now I feel so bad when saying this, as i know this was a difficult time for so many people. But me as a 17-year-old high school studnet, loved the first few weeks of lockdown. I saw it as a mental health break as all the stuff that went down with Emily did in fact put me into a depression phase (I actually do have depression and i do end up in mini-phases where its really bad). The lockdown gave me time to breathe as it felt like i was holding my breath for so long and i could relax. Now in the fall, our school did a hybrid for our last year. Which was fine, it was weird but managable. Emily did not talk to me, Clara or Sabrina at all during our seniour year. We graduated and my friends and I had the best time we could under pandemic restrictions.
Current day, I (21) am now in university. Clara and Sabrina and I are as close as ever and have managed to keep our friendship alive and strong even 3-4 years outside of high school and while all attending different universities. We still hang out regularly (once every week or so) and text all the time. And would you believe it, Emily goes to my university. Remember, how I said she wanted to become a doctor. Yeah so her plan was to go to university in Toronto for some medicine thing. I don't really know. She didn't do that. Instead she stayed in our city and decided to do business instead. What am I doing, you ask? Also business. Now I know I can't claim a school, or a major or anything like that. But i can't lie, im a little annoyed that she decided to swtich her career path to the same as mine. Thankfully Ive only had one class with her and it was one of those big lecture halls so i didn't have to talk with her. Just seeing her tho reminds me of high school and i can feel my blood pressure rising and me sweating as all the nerves and stress come back.
Anyways Clara and Sabrina's birthdays are coming up. Their birthdays are within the same week so since high school, they've always just done one big combined party. The two of them are both really chill people, they are friends with everyone and anyone. So as their coming up with their birthday plans, they are thinking of their guest list and Emily is on it. Now, Clara and Sabrina did ask me beforehand if they could invite her. They do want to make sure I am comfortable. They both tell me that they don't really talk to her anymore, maybe once every 3 months or something. They also haven't hung out since high school. But for their 21st birthday they are thinking of inviting everyone from our high school friend group to have sort of a mini-reuinion. I am down for it, I do think i have moved on, in the sense that I know I do not want Emily in my life. I do tell them I will probably feel awkwad but I can manage for one night for their birthday.
As I'm telling my sister (F16) about Clara and Sabrina's party and who's coming, she asks me about Emily. She basically says if Clara and Sabrina are fine with inviting her, that means they have forgiven her for high school stuff, so am I not being a bit mean for holding on to my feelings? I am a person who believes there is no expirational date on any pain caused by a person. I should not have to "forgive and forget" a person, who has not asked for it and who caused me so much pain just because that is how the world has worked. But it go me thinking, am i being a bit rude?
So, two questions: AITA for what happened in high-school? (am i in the wrong for the friendship breakup) and AITA for not wanting to forgive her?
A FEW NOTES: (i'll add more when i think of it)
I have not spoken to Emily since grade 12. Not in person, not through people, not through text. We have had no contact with one another and i am fine with that. I do not want any relationship with her.
Clara and Sabrina are two of the sweetest people in my life. It does not hurt me at all they have the odd interaction with Emily at all. Afterall they do say its very minimal contact and the few times they have made plans with Emily included, they let me know well in advance, ask if its okay to invite her and all that. Each time I say its fine because I know Im in a good place to not feel bad.
I have never yelled at Emily. Nor have I ever spoken badly about her. With our mutual friends I might complain about the situation, but I never say anything bad about her. I should also say, Emily i don't think was well-liked. As I said the two of are good students, the smart kids, whatever else you want to say. However Emily is what would be described as a "teacher's pet" and does give off an arrogant vibe at times towards others. Some of my other friends/classmates would sometimes make comments about this to me, but i would always sort of downplay it. Like, oh that's not how she really is, she just cares a lot about school. A few times I would say the comments are harsh to some of the classmates. Her, on the other hand, has called me a controlling b*tch to several people. who have all told me about it. She did bad-mouth to quite a few people.
At some point in grade 11 (not really relevant to the main story, but might be part of the reason Emily's always made at me), but I was blamed for a rumour going around that Emily had a crush on this guy in our grade. Emily and I had to go to this one teacher's class for some notes or something. And in the class was this girl who I didn;t really like. So before we walk in I whisper to her, no one can hear, that "hey there's that girl i don't like". Emily then makes it so obvious that she is looking at this girl. And next to her is one of the popular boys in our class. Emily makes it so obvious that shes looking in his direction and does it a few times, that the rumour she likes this guy becomes a huge joke in our grade. She does not like this guy, never has liked this guy, but it is a joke that him and his friends carry on. This continues for the entire year, and Emily in our therapy session does mention this fact. She says its my fault that this joke has gone around. I don't see how.

Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people
Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻‍♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now

Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people
Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻‍♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now

Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people
Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻‍♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now

Letter to my Avoidant Ex - I need your opinions, from Avoidant and non-avoidant people
Hello everyone,
This is my first time writing here, and I'm not sure what to expect and what kind of responses I'll receive. I look forward to hearing from you!
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
I'm using fictional names.
For some context, I wrote the letter below to my "ex," although I'm not sure if I can really use the word "ex." We always referred to our relationship as simply David & Mathieu. When people asked us if we were a couple, we would say no, it was just David & Mathieu.
We were friends for a year and a half before starting a different dynamic. It wasn't planned or wanted; it just happened very naturally. He has always been someone special to me; I don't know how to explain it, but for as long as I can remember, he has been special to me, and I told him that.
Two things to know about him are that he has an avoidant attachment style, which he himself acknowledges. So sometimes it was complicated; he never reassured me about anything, had blockages like we couldn't see each other during the week, and very often I couldn't touch him (affectionately) because he needed space. But I know he made efforts and stepped out of his comfort zone for us. He started holding my hand in public by himself, opening up more and more, and introduced me to important people in his life. It may not seem like much, but for someone with an avoidant attachment style, it was already a lot.
What made the situation even more complicated is that he was also fraysexual. So as the relationship progressed, the closer we got, the less sexual interest he had in me. He still needed sex, but it wasn't possible with me. Again, he was aware of how he was, and we always talked about it openly.
David & Mathieu lasted 7 months, and what ended it were the arguments we had towards the end. I started feeling insecure about his sexuality, the fact that he was back on dating apps (he said it was just for hookups) - I believed him, but it still made me insecure, and he had trouble reassuring me. He would get angry and say that I doubted his word. Furthermore, I brought up things from the past, like a guy he had something with while we were together during the first month of David & Mathieu. Also, towards the end, he expressed his need for space and to minimize contact, and I also struggled to give him that. I believe I have an anxious attachment style, so it was complicated for me to respond to some of his requests. But when we were together, it was really good; we often told each other that the best moments together were when it was just the two of us.
Anyway, he gave reasons for ending us: that I often doubted his word, that I brought up the past too much, and that he felt like he couldn't do things he had the right to do (like sleeping with others) and that I couldn't give him the space he needed. He was always honest about not wanting to lose his freedom. I never intended to take it away from him, but sometimes I needed to discuss things to feel good, and he struggled with that.
It's been a week now since we last had contact. We never really had a discussion to close everything; he shared his decision with me over the phone, I reacted badly, I tried to convince him to change his mind, and that's it.
The day after the phone call, he still agreed to come do an activity with me, but he said only because I told him it would make me feel better, and after that activity, he gave me back the things he had at his place. I still have things with me.
I would like to hear opinions from both individuals with an avoidant attachment style and those without. What do you think of the letter? Is it a good idea to send it, or do you think I should make some modifications?
Well, here's the letter finally.
Thank you.
I respect and understand your choice.
I've wondered if it's also what I wanted and maybe I was just delusional to think otherwise.
I'm not expecting or needing you to respond to this message. It was important for me to share my observations with a clear head rather than being in a flood of emotions. I fully understand that you don't need to receive this message, maybe you're already rolling your eyes. It's more for me that I'm doing this, it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I'm not into blaming, victimizing, or reproaching, and I'm not taking all the blame on myself. I'll only speak about what belongs to me. I'm not angry, disappointed, and I have no negative feelings towards you. I know you're a good person with good intentions, and you never intended to hurt me in any way.
I accept your decision much more easily now that I've finally understood that having contact with me now does more harm than good. I've always wanted what's best for you and to make you feel special.
You know what I think of you, what I told you was never fake or to please you, it was simply the truth. For me, when I was with you, you were the most... things & things, and I had no interest in looking away. I never played games with you or tried to sell you dreams. I'm aware that it could have played against me, and I didn't care. But honestly, I never felt like you were taking advantage of that.
Not that I think you care about that, but I stopped talking to the guy I was chatting with at (our last activity together) on the same day. If it helps some people, that's great, but for me, jumping into something else to feel better isn't healthy, I'd find it disrespectful, and it's just not me.
Sorry for losing sight of what was important and focusing too much on the past and things that didn't matter. Sorry for not being respectful and attentive towards the end, for making you feel like I didn't trust you/wanted to restrict you/didn't understand you bettedidn't assert my limits enough, and for not giving you the space you needed. I'm not perfect, I was just doing my best.
When I told you that we were better than that, well, I failed, and I let you down in a way, I acknowledge that, and I'm sorry. I messed up, and it's okay to make mistakes. You know, humans are sometimes poorly made, losing strength to realize things that were obvious.
I have work to do on myself in several aspects. I need to avoid creating scenarios, leave the past where it is, verbalize my needs and limits more clearly, in a better way and at the right time, learn to realize that what I have in front of me is true without suspicion, and learn to say: "This thing scares me, I don't know how to tame it, I don't know how it will affect us, let's talk about it."
I think just choosing better moments for certain discussions could potentially have changed the course of things. (We often had discussions about important things when we were drunk, it always turned out badly.)
I'm still the same guy I was a week ago, I haven't magically changed already, but what I can confidently tell you is that there has been an awakening, and I'm committed to evolving and being better.
I know that for you, us, it was a challenge and maybe sometimes destabilizing, it took you out of your comfort zone. I felt that you were doing your best, I never felt like you were forcing yourself, and for example, just holding my hand in public meant something significant to you. I could have taken that into consideration more and made sure you felt good and safe instead of adding pressure and frustration.
You and I are unique individuals, for whom it's not easy to build certain dynamics, we deserved to have what we had, but with the issues at the end, sometimes it wasn't easy.
I never wanted something conventional. For me, answering the question 'Are you a couple?' with 'No, it's just David & Mathieu' made me proud, and I liked it, for me, there was no need for further explanation.
I never asked or hoped for you to have the same requirements for yourself as I imposed on myself. I've always been very aware of your needs. The fact that it was important for me not to be touched by others, that belonged to me alone, I wish we could have navigated through that more healthily.
You often asked me what I expected from you, that it wasn't clear to you. I expected nothing more than what was ongoing. I was in this situation because I wanted to be, are you perfect as you are, I would say.... yes but no. But guess what, when I told you that you were perfect as you were, it was true, in the sense that even the things that weren't perfect made you a special thing for me. Don't try to understand, even I have difficulty understanding myself.
Trying out David & Mathieu wasn't a mistake for me, it was positive in many ways. And as I've already told you, what we had was enough for me, you were enough for me. The issues at the end for me were mostly predictable, all surmountable, and weighed less in the balance compared to the rest.
David & Mathieu was something peculiar, imperfect, and perfect at the same time. The fact that the best moments were mostly when we were alone together, that feeling that hand in hand it was us vs the rest, the feeling of pride and not wanting to be anywhere else and with anyone else at times.
I wish for us to find all of that again.
When you told me that you were lucky to have me, I was also lucky to have you, and I hope you know why.
Maybe one day, at the right time and if we both want it, we can see if it's possible to rebuild a friendly dynamic in which we both feel good. We've always managed to build better with the past. We make a good team when we're respectful and attentive.
I still wish to have you in my life, but if that's not possible, I'll respect that.
If someday we reconnect, I neither desire or need to revisit the issues we experienced. My mindset is to move towards something better and positive, not to fall back into negativity.
By the way, I have your grandfather's ring. I was wearing it when I got out of your car. If you want me to return your belongings quickly, let me know. Otherwise, don't worry, I'll take care of it.
I'll always be happy to hear from you, but I understand that you and I need space for now. Yes, even me.
This Saturday, Friday, or both nights, it's still to be determined, there's a possibility that I'll go out to the Eco with Emily. I'm not telling you to not go if that's what you had planned. But at the same time, I'd like us to respect what we need, but I don't want us to prevent each other from doing anything either.
If it happens soon that we come face to face, know that I'm no longer in the emotion, I'm good, I'll be friendly, and I'm ready to be flexible (leave) if necessary.
I don't plan to go to the Eco (a bar where we always went together, almost every weekend) often in the near future, this weekend is a bit special because Emily is staying in town exceptionally and plans to go out all weekend with friends from NY.
In conclusion, I would say once again that I respect your decision. It's unfortunate that we won't have the opportunity to continue having good times together. I've always had fun with you; it wasn't difficult.
Well, that's all. That's enough. That's already a lot.
Maybe one day I'll write a 10-minute song about an owl who always left 56,000 things at my place, who knows. 🤷🏻‍♂️ (he loves a Taylor S song that lasts 10 minutes about an ex of hers.)
Yes, I fully intend to make some cash off of you, no shame.
Bye for now

Hi! I am a 29F, white, 5'6" being evaluated for hypercortisolism. My doctor is testing me for Cushing's, and I do have an appointment with them a few weeks out. Does this sound like it could be Cushing's?
For symptoms, I have had hypertension, tachycardia (Both of these are new onset, and I never struggled with them before this), striae, headaches, recent weight gain, more round face, extreme fatigue, some muscle weakness, and blurry vision. I don't know if this is related, but I have not had a period since June 2023.
For tests, I have had

• late-night salivary cortisol tests: Three samples were taken, and all came back high with a range of 820-1000 ng/dL.
• 24-hour urine free cortisol: elevated cortisol (5x normal)
• low-dose dexamethasone test: Cortisol was around 5 ug/dL after taking 1 mg of dex, and dex levels were "within normal levels" according to the notes. I believe my doctor said the dex levels were somewhere in the low 500s.
• high-dose dexamethasone test: Cortisol was 2.9 ug/dL and ACTH 5 pg/mL after taking 8 mg of dex. Dex levels are still pending.

Thank you for any help understanding this!

I work for a ‘special collections’ agency and I don’t think our customers are human.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13
I wasn’t exactly thrilled when, on the first night P’uy̓ám stayed with me, the moment we sat on the sofa he turned to me and asked, “Can we talk?”
I was tempted to sprint out the front door (like any perfectly reasonable and emotionally stable person would), but I’m proud to say that I managed to fight that instinct. The talk ended up basically being ‘did I mind that he wasn’t human’. I told him no, he’s the smartest, nicest person I know, and I think he’s amazing. I asked him if he minded that I am human, and he told me he didn’t care about that. He said I make him laugh, and spending time with me makes him happy and want to be the best version of himself. He did also say that I’m beautiful and a lot smarter than I claim I am, but I chalk up those last two to him being super nice, because if asked to describe myself, the two words I’d probably use would be, ‘loud’ and ‘confused’.
We just stared at each other awkwardly for a moment after that, neither of us seemed entirely sure what to do – it was the first time we’d actually been alone together since ‘the kiss’.
Just when we’d figured it out (and no, internet stranger, I’m not going to be sharing any more specific details, thanks), a knock on the door and the sound of Sandy’s voice outside interrupted us.
“Oh hey hon. I just wanted to make sure you were still alive.” She smiled once I jumped up to open it.
Her eyes drifted to P’uy̓ám who waved awkwardly from the couch, glasses askew.
“Well alrighty then, I guess I’ll be going.” She just stood there, looking a bit lost.
I realized that was the first night she’d come home to any empty house after having company for a month straight – I guess even unspeakable horrors get lonely too.
“Sandy, do you want to come in and watch a movie with us?” I offered after a moment.
“Oh, you betcha!” she brightened and then proceeded to choose the seat between us. I swear she’s got psychic chaperone powers or something.
I suggested that maybe the three of us could do a game night every month, since we figured it’d be nice to catch up outside of just when we were trying to prevent the world was ending. I must say though, I thought Sandy was intense as a supervisor but she is a thousand times more frightening as a poker player – and we don’t even play for money.
I joked that we needed to take her to a casino, but she very seriously replied, “Oh I’m banned from every one in the state.”
I moved apartments after a month had passed without hearing from Yyohn. I’d been waiting to be absolutely sure, because I didn’t want to saddle a new renter with the whole, ‘you might be pulled into a nightmare world and sacrificed to an interdimensional entity’ thing – that would’ve been really inconsiderate.
I was so appreciative that P’uy̓ám stayed with me for a while. I may write with bravado when describing things in retrospect, but the very real possibility of being dragged through a reflective surface silently in the night never to be seen again, did freak me out.
It was also nice to finally spend some time together where we weren’t worrying about the imminent demise of either myself or our plane of existence (well no more than we usually have to worry, at least).
We decided not to tell anyone at the office that we're dating, it's easier that way. Well, I mean, Sandy knows since she did witness our first kiss whilst they were burying me alive.
As the time approached for our trip, I just really hoped that after not seeing P’uy̓ám for decades, maybe his family would welcome him back this time, forgive him for the minor transgression of ‘leaving home’ (yes, I’m still salty that they pretty much disowned him for that.) I figured if he didn’t, maybe he could get some closure, he could at least see the places where he grew up – homesickness had very clearly been really eating at him ever since we went into the woods for team building.
When we were planning our trip, he told me he’s never liked planes and was hoping to avoid flying. Considering ‘traveling on business’ in our line of work isn’t exactly defined as moving across physical space, it made some sort of sense.
He said it was something about not having solid ground under his feet, but when we mapped it out, it was over 5,000 miles round trip – so we could either spend 40 hours in a car, or 6 hours on a plane, each way.
He decided to give flying a shot.
People sometimes struggle to pronounce my first and last names off my driver’s license or credit cards, but they’ll at least try. As we were checking in the lady at the desk ended with, “Thank you Mr….” and then after staring at his driver’s license in silence for a few moments just gave up and handed it back to him.
I get it though, I mean, if I hadn’t heard him pronounce his last name, I would’ve never guessed it on my own – I’d just never encountered a ‘7’ in a name before I met him.
The security guy at the airport spent a long time studying P’uy̓ám’s passport. He stared at P’uy̓ám, then the passport with narrowed eyes. Back to him, then the passport, several times before eventually shrugging and handing it back over. I peeked at it before he put it away and noticed it said he was born in 1960 – and he may be 233, but he looks like he’s in his early thirties at most, so that explained the look of disbelief written on the agent’s face.
When I asked him about it, he said it’s a lot of work to fake all the documents needed to make the date match his outward appearance.
“It was a lot easier before there were electronic records.” He smiled.
I warned him that he should probably update that soon – bureaucratic apathy would only get him so far.
As we waited in the security line, his eyes widened when he saw people go through the body scanner, and he asked me what it was. When I told him, he turned pale and said he couldn’t go through it.
That left me with some questions.
“P’uy̓ám, when was the last time you flew?”
He had to think about that for a moment. “1986?”
“Yeahhhh… I’m pretty sure you can ask not to, but they’ll probably pat you down if you skip it.”
He grew even paler at that.
“Do you want the scan, or the hands?”
He ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head, indicating that he wanted neither, which unfortunately for him was not an option.
I squeezed his hand, which helped calm him down – only letting go when it was time to show our IDs, and even then, only after the TSA officer glared at us
It’s a good thing we got there early, because when they asked if he’d emptied his pockets, he said no.
So, I watched him remove:

• His wallet
• His phone
• A multi tool
• A small plastic baggie of dirt
• A (rather large) Swiss army knife with the Canadian flag on it ("It was a gift" he informed me)
• One 16g stick of RAM

We both got out of line so he could check his bag and keep his tools – and I didn’t want him to have to go through it again by himself.
I hated seeing that look of misery on his face – I tried to maintain comforting eye contact with him as they patted him down.
They did let him keep the dirt with him, after scanning it since it’s apparently not prohibited, (just weird). He proceeded to stick it in one of his beat-up Converse before putting his shoes back on.
I understood the dirt – since he mentioned something about solid ground, I guessed it was as close as he was going to get on a plane – and even the multitool and knife.
But, when I asked him why he was trying to bring 16g of RAM into rural Canada in his pockets he just smiled, “You never know when you might need it.”
As soon as we boarded, I realized flying had been a terrible idea. He had a hard time fitting his legs in since he’s so tall – his knees were just jammed in there the whole time. Before we took off, some guy elbowed him in the face while trying to load a bag into the bin and P’uy̓ám said ‘I’m sorry’ to him. I glared at the guy until he apologized.
Everything freaked him out and he gripped the arm rests for dear life the entire flight. The sound of the wheels, staring out at the wings and the little flaps every time they moved (“Are those supposed to be doing that?” to which I could only unhelpfully shrug), the turbulence. I was just glad they let him keep the dirt.
He looked so absolutely horrified during the entire flight and I felt so bad for him. Before we even landed, I asked him if he wanted to drive on the way back instead of flying and he instantly said yes, relief written across his face.
We had to rent a car to get to his hometown, and it took us an extra two hours to get there because there were so many places he wanted to stop and show me, like this amazing waterfall off highway 99. I could’ve done without the constant feel of eyes on us despite us being alone, but it was definitely beautiful, at least.
We began to see signs for this little touristy shop. As we kept driving, the billboards seemed to multiply, until they were at almost every mile. At my insistence, we stopped.
I regretted that decision as soon as we walked in – the place was devoid of life, there were no other customers, no employees – and something about how the dim, blueish lights cast shadows across the shelves gave me a searing headache.
Not to mention the items on the shelves themselves – a mildewy hoodie, that had ‘Someone who loves me visited Oklahoma and bought me this sweatshirt!’ written in fading letters.
It seemed more like a second hand shop than a tourist trap.
I’d found a beaded purse, but it had a wallet and driver's license still in it.
As we wandered, a case of jewelry across the store caught my eye and drew me towards it – it was insane how beautiful each piece was – all so captivating, and each one was totally unique. They looked almost like blown glass – swirling golds and blues in one, sharp magentas with specs of green in another.
As I was leaning in closely, studying them – it almost looked as if they were moving a bit in their case – someone whispered directly into my ear from over my shoulder, “Thanks for stopping in”
The guy appeared out of nowhere to lean in over my shoulder, causing me to scream (just a reasonable amount).
Creeper dude walked around to position himself behind the counter, asked if I wanted to see anything, before pausing to study my face for a moment. His eyes drifted down to the pendant that P’uy̓ám made me, the one for ‘I’m totally not a human, please don’t eat me’ purposes.
“Oh, this is beautiful”, he whispered, before deciding to violate my personal space by lifting it up and holding it.
His demeanor instantly changed from a handsy salesperson to something else entirely – his grin widened and he looked a little too excited.
“Have you signed our guest book?” He gripped my left wrist tightly, shoved a pen into my right, and studied me in a way that told me he wouldn’t let go until I signed it.
“Can I switch hands please?”
He had the audacity to look at me as if I had mildly inconvenienced him, but did let me switch after I told him that was the only way he’d get actual, readable, words.
I flipped through the thick, yellowing pages to find a blank one and signed it ‘Mikayla G. and P’uy̓ám K.’
“Last names too.”
I sighed and wrote ‘Mikayla Garabedian and P’uy̓ám K--’ (I just wrote random letters after the K because I didn’t like how pushy he was being. )
“Exquisite, aren’t they?” he asked me with a smile, gesturing down at the jewelry. The small piece streaked with yellow and pinks was definitely shuddering in response to him pointing at it.
I nodded, but more out of politeness at that point, because he still had my wrist in a death grip.
“Mikayla, Wait.” I could hear P’uy̓ám call out in the distance, but I felt frozen there – it sounded like he was miles away
“Would you like to see how they’re made?”
Before I could answer, he leaned in and put a stone that resembled the others in shape and size, the only difference is that it was just plain, totally clear – into my hand, which he closed around it. It was like glass, but weightier, and where it touched my skin it burned slightly.
I could hear P’uy̓ám calling my name as he came sprinting over, right as the guy read my name off the guestbook.
P’uy̓ám gasped, but I didn’t understand why he was so freaked out.
Literally nothing happened.
P’uy̓ám helped me free my wrist from creepy guy’s crazy strong grip and sassily smacked the book out of his hands, before he could read it again.
And still, nothing happened.
The guy looked at us with narrowed eyes – a look P’uy̓ám returned, with even more intensity. The guy hissed at us as P’uy̓ám guided me out of the store.
Once we got to the parking lot, P’uy̓ám pulled me close to him and put his chin on the top of my head while quietly muttered that he wasn’t sure how I was unaffected – calling someone their true name is how all those other pendants got filled.
He hadn’t realized at first, but when he saw another collection of ‘items made from tourists’ (I made him repeat that to ensure I’d heard that correctly but he didn’t expound on what the ‘items’ were and I was a bit afraid to ask) in the back, he knew.
That was when P’uy̓ám ran over to me, but the guy already begun to read my name, so he was worried it was too late.
He was relieved when I saw that I didn’t provide either of our actual full names – I’ve learned that sharing your entire, true name isn’t a great idea, not with non-humans, probably not with the internet in general.
Mikayla is what I go by, but it’s my middle name – I mean, my sister’s name is ‘Hasmig’, so yeah, I have a fairly traditional first name, too. And no, I’m not sharing it here.
Look, I’m not saying that you’re going to come track me down and try to bind my soul to an inanimate object to then sell to tourists. But, after that ordeal, I’d rather not take that risk.
When I turned back around, the entire store was just … gone.
Apparently since I’m subletting a part of my soul (or as I like to say, ‘mildly possessed’), P’uy̓ám says mine was probably even more fascinating to the guy.
Due to our detours, it was getting dark by the time we reached P’uy̓ám’s family home.
Even in the low light, I could see the apprehension clearly written across his face. I wondered if he thought I was kidding about pummeling his family with my thousand page book if they were shitty to him. (Because I wasn’t)
The entire time, I’d thought that the worst thing that could happen would be that they rejected him – as we pulled up to the dark house, I realized just how very wrong I was. _
If you want me to let you know when the next part is posted, just comment that you want me to update you, and I'll tag your user name in a comment, when I post the next part :)

Hey team. looking for some folks who are local to Los angeles, who have Xactimate experience. These jobs are all LARGE LOSS, we do not touch anything less than $100,000. Please dont respond if you are not local. No offense but its important that you are in or close to LA. I will post the job listing here. Please read and feel free to DM me here or to the email provided. Thanks yall for letting us post here.
Job Title: Xactimate EstimatorCompany: VIP Claim ServiceLocation: Los angeles, CaliforniaType: Full-time/Part-time/ContractResponsibilities:

• Estimate property damage and repairs using Xactimate software for LARGE LOSS
• Collaborate with insurance adjusters, contractors, and clients to assess damages.
• Prepare detailed estimates for restoration and reconstruction projects.
• Ensure accuracy and compliance with industry standards.
• Review and restructure estimates according to our standards

Qualifications:

• Experience working with Xactimate.
• Strong knowledge of property restoration, construction, and insurance claim is a plus but not necessary
• Excellent communication skills and attention to detail.
• Ability to work independently and meet deadlines.
• Xactimate certification is a plus.

Compensation:

• Competitive payment based on experience.
• Percentage of job

How to Apply: Interested candidates should submit their resume and a brief cover letter detailing their Xactimate experience to demian@vipclaimservice.com

Asking for a friend. He goes to a school where some of the ISSO staff is not super helpful or informative. However, he has received an offer letter for an internship. His potential employer has not asked him about his VISA status or if he will need sponsorship in the future since the application was primarily a face to face interview and that question was not asked. Days after the interview my friend got an offer letter asking for him to accept and that after signing they would then being "onboarding steps" and "verification of authorization to work in the US".
My friend wants to know if the following CPT approval process is difficult and if there is still potential for his employer to reject him. He also wants to know if there is anything he can do or prepare to mitigate his chances of a rejection or to move the process forward. He has already done the obvious steps of emailing his academic advisor as well as his ISSO he is just seeking other sources of input as he awaits their responses.
Thank you for your help and input, I will forward your advice to him.

Hello! Thank you to all who are on this subreddit. It has been very helpful to me. I am a rising senior in college who is looking to apply to PsyD programs to start in Fall of 2025. I am a BS psychology major with a minor in statistics. I have a 3.9 GPA. I am involved in three clubs on campus, heavily involved/leader of one of them, and a member of psychology honor society. I have worked coaching youth sports for the the past few summers, and even work with youth during the school year. In the past I have worked on a crisis hotline as well. This summer I am volunteering at a private practice to get clinical hours, and I am involved in assisting with a research project with a clinical psychologist who is writing a paper. I was wondering if I could get insight on my competitiveness for PsyD programs, specifically the top ones. Is it possible to get into PsyD programs straight from undergrad? Also, is there anywhere my application can be improved/strengthened? Thank you in advance to anyone who provided feedback!

Bundle deals available! There are mostly samples, but there are some full-sizes as well. I priced to sell, but am open to reasonable offers. More details are on my spreadsheet. New items have been added recently.

• Most perfumes were received direct from the original store. If you want me to double-check, just let me know!
• All perfumes are kept in a cool, dark place. I live in a non-smoking and pet-free house.
• Payment via PayPal G&S. I will send an invoice. Prices are in USD.
• If buying multiple items that aren't already bundled, make me a reasonable offer for a discount :)
• I will ship within 7 days of payment, though I am often much quicker and will ship same/next day!
• Shipping is $13 tracked to Canada unless you're only getting a few samples, in which case it's $3 without tracking. Shipping to the US is typically around $13 tracked (I will provide a quote based on zip code).
• If purchasing >$50, I'll offer a 50% discount on shipping. If >$125, shipping will be free regardless of location!
• I'm mostly looking to sell, but will consider swaps for scents listed on my ISO tab. However, I'm looking to get multiple items (at least three) from one seller.

Fantome:

• Ivan the Fool: Golden figs, oakmoss, Siberian fir, well-worn Russian leather, cedar, warm wolf fur, juniper berries, sparkling bergamot
  
• Vasilia (FS): Clover honey, neroli, rich tonka, chamomile, dry hay, a flower crown of marigolds & sunflowers
  

Stereoplasm:

• Clemency (2 samples are available): Myrrh, clementine teak, thyme, photographic fixer, tobacco, suede
  
• Disco Stardust (both a FS and sample are available): Winter Mai Tais, roll-on lip gloss, expensive sunglasses, tanning bed oil and new car smell
  
• Excitation: Frothed Irish cream with rye whiskey, evaporated milk, wild honey and chocolate covered coffee beans
  
• Flowers in the Rain: Warm rain, carnation corsage, pink musk and passion fruit
  
• Gone Gnome: Top notes of cilantro and key lime rooted in fresh garden basil, english cucumber and melon blossom
  
• Kindling: Sweet jasmine incense, sunset musk, fresh sativa and strawberry wine
  
• Opaline: Iridescent and heavy stones of opalized amber, birds of paradise, frozen yucca and lacquered teak
  
• Perdotmint (both a FS and sample are available): Gems of concorde pear, crushed spearmint, iced green tea and classic jade accord
  
• Reverie: Frozen pollen, prickly gooseberry vine, raw cashmere wool and midnight blooming primrose
  
• Rickey: Old Tom Gin and muddled cilantro impress upon star wedges of Mary Ellen Sweet Lime in bubbly soda
  
• The Presents: A jar of homemade apricot jam, the worn pages of a favourite book, a golden yellow beeswax candle, a soft cashmere scarf to keep you cozy all year long.
  
• Toasted Matchimellow (FS): Bright green ice cream baked inside marshmallow meringue (usually found during summer months in cafe midi)
  
• Yellownog: Intoxicating bourbon-vanilla, cigar-smoked cinnamon, clementine stars, shredded coconut and Chantilly cream
  

CocoaPink:

• Black Voodoo: Rich amber resins, spiritueuse double vanilla, butterscotch, bourbon vanilla, hot butter rum & coconut crème
  
• Fear of Ghosts: Glowing marshmallow orbs and smoky vanilla spectral mists swirl aimlessly around an old bonfire in the Crisp October night air – Fresh vanilla puffed marshmallows, toasted marshmallows, hints of bonfire smoke among scattered sharp grains of white rice
  
• Full Moon: Blackberry, Coconut Milk, Marshmallows, White Chocolate
  
• Gooey Caramel: Real, old fashioned caramel, the gooey, salty kind made with real butter
  
• Handbook for the Recently Deceased: Wedding cake accord; sticky strawberries and raspberries; a shock of green melon and vibrant lime; an electric hint of mint and cilantro; grave soil; and a puff of smoke
  
• Pumpkin Kiss: Pumpkin flesh, soft bourbon vanilla, white and brown sugars kissed softly with pure cocoa absolute
  
• Warm Mittens: This fragrance evokes the memory of sitting around a campfire, holding a steamy mug of hot cocoa with marshmallows while wearing the woolliest, warmest pair of mittens.
  
• You'll Never Grow Old: The irresistible mingling of cotton candy, waffle cones, caramel popcorn, and candy apple is stalked by the tang of an oncoming storm, sea salt, freshly-dug dirt, and a primal, seductive musk
  

Possets:

• Mrs. Rabbit's Carrot Cake (FS): The most moist and vanilla drenched melting cake shot through with sugar encrusted rum kissed currents and golden raisins and crowned with the richest butter filled sour cream and ricotta frosting and trimmed with tiny spun sugar carrots, and grass
  
• Silver Narcissus: A stunning fragrance that combines the luxurious Possets' Silver Base with the iconic Narcissus flower, evoking the essence of a warm and vibrant spring morning
  
• Solis Anima: Blood Orange, Lychee Tea, Screwpine Flower, Tamarind, Cucumber, and Ginger, Tomato, Vetiver, Kadamba Flowers, and Sandalwood
  

Pulp Fragrances:

• An Accidental Interloper: Green tea, clary sage, rose geranium, evergreen boughs, white patchouli, vetiver and sweet amber musk
  
• Embrace: A kindly kitchen witch invites you in from the cold, feeds you pumpkin shortbread with butter, apricot preserves, and brown sugar & then sends you safely on your way.
  
• The Phantom Room: Cherry tobacco, honeyed almonds, red currants, cocoa butter, & vanilla balsam.
  
• Women In Dresses Running From Houses 2021: This year's version is smokier and sweeter: Caramellized sugar, a roaring bonfire, heliotrope, aged patchouli, and a hint of violet
  

Nui Cobalt:

• Hell Freezes Over: Decadent devil’s food cake, still warm from the oven, fluffy marshmallow frosting and the lightest dusting of crushed candy cane
  
• Little Brown Rabbit: Nutmeg and tonka bean nuzzle up against fluffy marshmallow, cottonflower, pink pepper, and a trace of carrot seed.
  
• Mendacity: Horchata: Classic horchata made from jasmine rice, demerara sugar, and true Ceylon cinnamon.
  
• Roll Initiative: Egyptian cotton, pale driftwood, white pepper, green cardamom, and a slender wisp of copal smoke.
  

Arcana Craves:

• Blueberries Crave Sunshine: Lemonade, watermelon, lime zest, golden gardenia, pearl musk, tiny blueberries, Black Dragon tea leaf, and blood red cedar

Sucreabeille:

• Alembic (FS): Sweet pumpkin souffle dotted with marshmallows and drizzled with buttery maple syrup. Tuberose wafts through the open front door

Arcana Wildcraft

• Witches Cavort with Cupcakes (FS): Pumpkin spice cupcakes are smothered in gobs of cream cheese frosting

Hexennacht

• I ♥ the 80’s: A Lisa Frank-esque powerhouse: tuberose, orange blossom, white amber, bubblegum, suntan oil, Aquanet hairspray, gummy worms, & fruit-scented erasers

Andromeda's Curse

• Strength: Coffee, Marshmallow, Milk Chocolate, Coumarin, Brown Sugar, Whipped Vanilla Frosting
  
• The Call of the Void: French Lavender, Nag Champa, Egyptian Amber, Sandalwood, Cedarwood, and Vanilla
  

Black Hearted Tart

• Autumn Sweater: Warm cedar, sweet vanilla musk, fallen leaves, crunchy acorns, pine cones, nutmeg, clove, and cinnamon
  
• Electric Feel: Sparkling lime, lychee fruit, rose, melon, grape, citrus glazed bundt cake, golden amber and sweet musk.
  
• Fade Into You: Bergamot, orange, lime, lemon, white and chocolate orchids, cocoa butter, sandalwood, and ambergris.
  
• Girlfriend In A Coma: Herbaceous blend of lavender leaves, flowers, vanilla musk, tonka bean, cedar, and sandalwood.
  
• Glory Box: Deep purple violets, brown sugar, juicy plum, fresh ozone, lily, heliotrope, dark musk, saffron, tonka bean and amber.
  
• Head Over Heels: Fresh apple, apricots, plum, citrus, pink magnolia, heliotrope, vanilla orchid, honeyed amber, marzipan, and sandalwood.
  
• Heart Shaped Box: Chocolate truffles made with cocoa powder, sweet cream, and a hint of vanilla bean.
  
• Honeybee: Buttery toffee, swirls of honey, and warm vanilla are brightened up with cheery bergamot and tart Brazilian orange.
  
• Melt With You: Scented in cocoa butter, raw honey, and chocolate notes.
  
• My Velouria: Red rose, peony, violet, amber, white musk, sandalwood, and woodsy cedar.
  
• Only In Dreams: White gardenia, calla lily petals, fluffy marshmallow clouds, and vanilla orchid musk.
  
• Piece Of My Heart: Lemony floral magnolia blossoms, waxy green tree leaves, sugar cane, cardamom pink pepper, vanilla bean, sandalwood and bitter almond.
  
• Pink Moon: Sun ripened raspberries, honeysuckles, pulps of juicy oranges, farm fresh peaches, and sugared pink grapefruit.
  

Poesie

• Nectar: These golden trumpet-shaped blossoms herald the arrival of summer. Nectar is the sweet scent of honeysuckle blossoms — honeyed, intoxicating, irresistible

Astrid

• Ensoleille: Orange blossom, bamboo, vanilla musk, lemon, sugar, palo santo, and litsea
  
• Whisper: Cherry blossom, a pair of patchoulis, sugar, and vanilla
  

Alkemia

• Vanille Armour (FS): Vanilla Infused with Warm Spices

Link again: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19URt2wyxl2xQd8XN2CPKzqBv0ZANl65yUTx9Gx_u0a4/edit?usp=drive_link
Thanks for checking out my destash!

I provide support for a church with their IT needs. Professionally, I work in the Windows space. I also handle their networking, including wifi etc. But I don't really handle the AV or sound that they use for their services. They have been using a local volunteer with experience.
It seems that the volunteer has changed churches and now I have been asked to troubleshoot the mac mini that uses propresenter.
The main complaint is that sometimes the audio and video lose sync during services. The video gets choppy and inconsistently correct. During testing, I noted that its running at about 190-200 degrees F with propresenter on, but idling. With it running, it stays between 200-215. The disk I/O, network activity, CPU, and memory do not appear to be under stress though.
The device is a 2018 MacMini, with a 3.2 Ghz 6 core i7, a Intel UHG Graphics 630 16 GB, and 64 GB of RAM.
Should I recommend a better cooling solution, or replace the whole thing with something better suited?
EDIT: Okay, the general consensus is pursue the cooling solution and blow it out. Thanks to those of you who responded!

Hey everyone,
I'm currently on the lookout for some recommendations for video editing software for some reels. I've been trying to achieve a specific style for my videos, and while I've been using CupCut, it seems that this particular style isn't quite feasible with it—at least from what I've gathered.
Here a sample video to give you an idea of what I'm aiming for. If anyone has any suggestions for software that might help me achieve this style, I would greatly appreciate it.
Thanks in advance for your help!

Hello! Thank you to all who are on this subreddit. It has been very helpful to me. I am a rising senior in college IN THE USA who is looking to apply to PsyD programs to start in Fall of 2025. I am a BS psychology major with a minor in statistics. I have a 3.9 GPA. I am involved in three clubs on campus, heavily involved/leader of one of them, and a member of psychology honor society. I have worked coaching youth sports for the the past few summers, and even work with youth during the school year. In the past I have worked on a crisis hotline as well. This summer I am volunteering at a private practice to get clinical hours, and I am involved in assisting with a research project with a clinical psychologist who is writing a paper. I was wondering if I could get insight on my competitiveness for PsyD programs, specifically the top ones. Is it possible to get into PsyD programs straight from undergrad? Also, is there anywhere my application can be improved/strengthened? Thank you in advance to anyone who provided feedback!

Hi guys, could someone please give me some feedback on my school list, especially if a school is not OS-friendly or if it is too much of a reach with my stats? I was born and raised in WA state, but I'm technically a CA resident now. Thank you in advance for your suggestions!!
My stats: 3.92 GPA, 512 MCAT; no gap years
Activities: 2000 hours research (2 presentations at conference, 1 poster, 1 manuscript in preparation), 300ish clinical (hospital volunteer and intern at a dermatology clinic), 100 hours non-clinical volunteer (tutoring kids), 2000 non-clinical job in real estate (just paid for my tuition and living expenses) + other small activities and awards
*I'm also applying to DO, but I didn't include those schools !
MD School list:

1. UC Davis (I've heard this one wants ppl from Nor-cal?)
   
2. UC Riverside (same bias as UC Davis?)
   
3. UCLA
   
4. UCI
   
5. University of Washington (born here + parents live here)
   
6. Washington State University (born here + parents live here)
   
7. UCSD
   
8. Oregon Health and Sciences (says they require 3.7/513+ MCAT so should I bother?)
   
9. University of Nevada, Reno
   
10. Howard University COM
    
11. Marshall University SOM
    
12. Morehouse SOM
    
13. Central Michigan
    
14. Wright State
    
15. Albany
    
16. UNLV
    
17. University of Toledo COM
    
18. West Virginia
    
19. Medical College of Wisconsin
    
20. University of South Carolina SOM Greenville
    
21. Spencer Fox Eccles School of Medicine at the University of Utah
    
22. Pennsylvania State University COM
    
23. Florida International University Herbert Wertheim COM
    
24. Jacobs SOM and Biomedical Sciences at University of Buffalo (highkey OS bias?)
    
25. University of Arizona COM
    
26. University of Minnesota Medical School
    
27. Oakland University William Beaumont SOM
    
28. Loyola
    
29. Drexel COM
    
30. George Washington University SOM
    
31. Geisinger Commonwealth SOM
    
32. Temple
    
33. Tulane
    
34. Wake Forest
    
35. University of Vermont
    
36. Rosalind Franklin
    
37. Rank H. Netter MD SOM at Quinnipaic University
    
38. University of Maryland SOM
    
39. California University of Science and Medicine
    
40. Tufts
    
41. Albert Einstein College of Medicine
    
42. Kaiser (lol for fun, I know avg MCAT is 517)
    
43. Michigan State