basicly my mom died when i was 7. my dad married this woman, lets call her rachel. they got married when i was around 9ish and had two children who are my half siblings and i have one full sibling. but theyre in the process of a divorce rn. now lets say i live in america however im originaly from another country (lets say morroco). my aunt, from my dads side, (lets call her grace) moved in with us right before corona, she came to 'america' from 'moroco' to find a better job. corona hit and we've been stuck being roomates for 5 years at this point, im 16 rn and shes 32.
i would always spend months saving up money to buy myself nice things, like perfumes, makeup, clothes, stuff for my hair, etc. every single time i would buy something my aunt, grace would automaticly take it and claim ownership. she would put it in her car and refuse to give it back to me. she would always say that 'it was too hot outside' to go to the car, or sometimes even take it to her office and she would never give it back. just last week i got a really expensive perfume from my other aunt who comes from my moms side. ive been wanting this perfume for a year. the moment i got home from getting the perfume grace takes the perfume from me and starts smelling it. she says it smells really nice and gives it back to me. i put it in one of my bags and go to sleep. the next day i wake up and get ready for school and i cant find the perfume anywhere but she said she hasnt taken it, shes lying i can litteraly smell it on her. another thing is that she always smokes cigarets. i had bronchitis and she didnt want to stop smoking around me! which caused my bronchitis to get worse and the doctor recomended that i stay away from her because of how bad it got.
now my full sibling, lets call him alex, is 13 has a lot of problems. not like autism or anything but hes crazy. whenever we would get cakes or anything for birthdays he would eat the cake in ONE DAY A WHOLE A*S CAKE THAT WEIGHS 1KG IN ONE DAY. whenever we get any type of food he finish it all in once sitting. he always eats the really spicy instant noodles in secret which causes him to get very bad stomach problems. he has stolen over $5000 from me. my rooms lock and doorhandle broke a few years ago so i cant even close my door and my dad doesnt want to fix it. i always hide my money or try to keep it on me at all times however he always finds a way to find it. last time i litteraly cut one of my bras open and put the money in the padding and sewed it back up and he still managed to take the money. now ur prolly wondering how do i know for sure hes the one that takes the money. my aunt wont take money from me, only objects, my dad just wouldnt and the only person left in the house is alex. now unless you think my cat is stealing the money then it has to be him. i told my dad about this a billion times and he just keeps telling me "it wasnt alex no way". alex has gotten suspended 4 times since he started highschool (he started litteray 1 year ago). he's gotten into fights at least twice a month. he steals from the whole family not just me. hes stolen so much money from my dad and aunt asweel. he grafitied our neighboors house. whenever he gets something new like a gift like shoes or a game or something, he breaks it in one day. my dad is always making excuses for him and will not punish him for anything he does. my brother always hits me on my vagina and my boobs with belts and slippers and wooden spoons even when im on my period and my dad doesnt do anything about it.
so basicly now about this rachel woman. shes fucking psycotic. when they got married at the beggining she would always fight with me, i would get some crayons or markers to colour and draw with and she would take them from me saying that she wanted to draw. basicly she would act like a kid. a few months before corona she gave birth to my half sister, lets call her mia. she would PURPOSLY STARVE MIA BECAUSE SHE WANTED HER TO HAVE A SKINNY BODY. SHE WOULD STARVE A NEWBORN BRO. she would always put mia to sleep in the middle of the bed right next to my dad and my dad would only get less than an hour of sleep each night for at least two months scared that he was going to crush mia. and he tried to move mia back to her crib but she was already sleeping and if he moved her she would start crying and wouldnt go back to sleep. it got to the point where my dad WHO OWNS THE HOUSE AND EVERYTHING IN IT started sleeping on a carpet on the floor because he was so scared to hurt mia. during corona in 'america' we werent allowed to leave the house at all. we had to file an aplication every week to go grocery shopping and only one person from the whole household could leave the house. since my dad was the one earning the money he went grocery shopping. this one time rachel told my dad she wanted to leave the house so my dad told her next week he would file the aplication saying she leave the house instead. the next day rachel CALLS THE POLICE AND TELLS THEM THAT MY DAD IS HOLDING HER AND MIA HOSTAGE AND THAT HE KIDNAPPED THEM, keep in mind that shes a 32 year old woman. the police obviously come and check things out, my dad told him the story, our maid vouched for him and the security cameras were checked and then the police cleared my dad. a few days after that rachel decided she wants to go back to 'Morocco' because she missed her mom. (her mom is the one encoureging the behavior and encouriging starving mia). rachel said she would report my dad to the police for rape if he didnt let her go so he bought her a ticket and they went. a few days after that we found out that she was pregnant again. but by now corona was really bad and no one could travel.
basicly im not gonna write everything that happened in between then and now but basicly she demaded so many things from my dad around $10,000 monthly for child costs (she doesnt work, never has, even till now) (this is like 2022 by now) my dad does not have that type of money as he already sends them a lot of money and the costs of living in 'america' are a lot and he also has to take care of his parents because hes the oldest so he pays their bills and everything. he filled for divorce because she kept getting crazier, she would threaten to hurt the kids. he tried to get custody of the kids as it was hard because the law in 'moroco' sides with the woman most of the time. she keeps asking for more and more money and my dad went to court and the court set a certain amount. last summer when we went back to 'moroco' rachel and my dad agreed that my dad would take the kids for a full day. the kids were okay with it and had no problems. 2 hours after my dad took his kids from her she comes marching up to my grandparents house, my dads parents, and starts trying to do black magic and demanding that he give her the children back. a few months after that she asked my dad for more money for child care because both of them are starting school now so he sent a bit extra. she used this money to hire a lawyer in 'america' to investigate my dad so she can demand more money from him. today he got a call from one of her lawyers saying that she demands $30,000. since the law in both 'moroco and america' work very fast my dad needs to get a certain paper before firday (its wednsday 9pm at this moment) and if he doesnt then she can take the money from him or something like that im not sure.
i dont know what to do anymore im scared that we're gonna go bankrupt. my dad is paying for expenses for 4 people here in 'america', me him alex and my aunt grace because shes a free loader and is living here for free and refuses to get a job. he's paying for her living and my two half siblings,. the house that my dad aunt brother and me and living in today is under my dads name but alex and i own a bit of it because my dad bought it with my mom before she died and when she died it was split into 3 to me, my dad and my brother, part of it was also given to my grandfather from my moms side lets call him charles and charles demanded that we sell the house imediatly because he didnt want us living there anymore and there was nowhere we could go. my dad had to pay a lot of money to get us to keep the house. rachel wants half of everything my dad owns. that means half of the house, half of his salery half of everything. shes asking for $30,000 and my dad doesnt even make that much in two months.
anyway thats my vent hope u enjoyed. if you read till here congrats thank you! have a good day and a good life! :)

The title of the previous Bankedex has been making people think it only contained offers for NI. So here it is again, with all the current offers and with a more generic title. There are currently 5 active bank switch offers (and only one is specific to Northern Ireland!).
*****************
Here is the the ultimate guide to UK bank switch offers - the collective knowledge of ~140k BeermoneyUK members. Switch your bank account, get a cash reward for doing so. But don't switch your main account, open up a second account and switch that to get the money!
​
Updated 15/05/2024:
​
The most commonly asked bank switch questions:

1. I started to switch to XXX bank before the offer ended, am I still eligible for the bonus?

Yes, usually, most terms will state that a switch just has to be started (or applied for) before the end date or before an offer ends.

1. Do I have to transfer the required amount in all in one go, and does it matter if I pay money in before my switch is complete?

No and not usually, as long as the amount you pay in adds up to the required amount, and as long as you pay it in before the deadline stated in the terms. There has been one exception to this - Co-op - so check individual terms.

1. I need to switch "active" direct debits, does a payment need to have been taken before I switch?

According to Nationwide, an active direct debit is one that has been set up or had a payment taken from it in the past 13 months. So no, according to this. But why not just wait for the direct debit to be taken? You'll not have to worry about it then.

https://twitter.com/AskNationwide/status/1442939781491486720

1. How do I set up and switch an additional Chase current account?
   

   • See Chase instruction here to open an additional account.
     
   • The second account will be linked to the same card as your main Chase account.
     
   • Use the secondary account details and your original card details when switching.
     

2. What are the easiest/best direct debits to use for bank switching?
   

There are many: Paypal, Ebay, Moneybox savings account, Plum savings account, your credit card, Sprive Mortgage auto savings, Wealthify Robo Saving. We recommend ones that save money into an account in your own name. Here’s useful ones that have additional bonuses available via beermoneyuk

Site/App	Offer	Comment
Park Christmas (Search)	Save for Christmas via direct debit
Plum (Search)	A very useful direct debit	Easy and fast to set up
Sprive (Search)	Autosavings for mortgage overpayment direct debit (£5 bonus)	Easy and fast to set up
Wealthify (Search)	A very useful direct debit (£1/month min)	Easy and fast to set up

Questions about Bank Switching should generally be asked here. Posts on the subreddit asking questions about bank switching will probably be removed.

As always with the Bankedex, we need your help.

The post has been updated with the newest offers, and tips commented in the previous Bankedex posts, and those in other posts on beermoneyuk. But it is a difficult task keeping on top of all the questions. Please continue to share your experience with Bank Bribes. I will add questions/answers to this post. Your help is much appreciated - thanks to you all.

Current bank switch offers (£551 in total)

Bank	Bonus	Offer Deadline	Comment
Barclays	31k Avios for £48 spend	None	£100 profit, Requires premier banking
First Direct	£175 to switch	None
Danske Bank	£175 to switch		Northern Ireland only
Santander	£175 to switch	None	£15 extra available
Virgin Money	£100 to switch	31/05/2024	10% gross interest rates boost to 12% on £1k for 1 year (~£120 total) + extra £30 via Snoop

No switch, just sign up bank switch offers

Bank	Offer	Comment
Tide (click for details)	Spend £100, get £75 cashback	A beermoneyuk staple
Monzo (click to search)	Spend £1, get £5 or £50	£50 is for a business account
Starling (click to search)	Free National Trust Day Pass

Never switched a bank account before?

You should consider it. It is one of the easiest and most efficient ways of earning a little beermoney. It is advised to leave your main bank account alone. Instead, switch a secondary bank account, or open a new account at your current bank to be used just for switching. Recommended steps:

1. Open a second current account with your main high street bank (must be part of CASS service)
2. Set up direct debits on the second account (if required).
3. Add £1 to your second account. This will be transferred to your new account, allowing you to see when the switch has been completed.
4. Apply for a new account and arrange to switch to your second bank account (sometimes this is during the application process, other times it is after the account is opened).
5. Let the current account switch service take care of everything.
6. Make sure all other terms are met (e.g. pay in money if needed).
7. Receive your bank switching bonus.

You will hear about lots of people rushing through all of the switch bonuses available. These offers have been coming and going for years, my advice is to do an offer that tickles your fancy and try out a new bank. Then, if you decide you do not like your new bank you should sample another bank and get paid again!
​

Are there some bank accounts worth keeping?

Why yes. Some are quite good, and give ongoing rewards. For example, Club Lloyds gives free Disney Plus. See the "don't leave us please" bank rewards post. Some also give access to the best savings accounts (e.g. regular savers).

Detailed switch offer information

Whilst we do our best to make sure things are correct, sometimes errors do slip through. Always do your own research. Also, it may not be possible to work through all of these.
​

Barclays

Current offer: 31k Avios for full switch to Premier Banking, and paying £12/month for “Avios Rewards” for 4 months - works out around £100 profit when converted to Nectar points.

Direct link to offer (scroll down)

• You must switch to Premier Bank account.

These are premium accounts, supposed to be for those with £70k+ salaries. However, cycling £4201 each month also appears to do the job

Offer end date: None listed
Requirements:

• Open a Barclays Premier bank account & join Avios Rewards (£12/month fee), or
  
• Complete a full switch from a different bank (you do this from within the app, after opening the account).
  

Reward payable by: 1.5k Avios each month for Avios Rewards, 25k Avios paid in month 4 for the switch.
Available to existing customers: No.
Additional notes: it can be worth doing the Barclaycard Avios Plus offer at the same time, as you will get a discount on the credit card fee.

​

Danske Bank

Current offer: £200 for full switch

Direct link to Danske Bank offer

• You can switch to their Danske Reward, Danske Choice or Danske Freedom current account.

Offer end date: No end date given, may be removed at any time.
Requirements:

• Full switch (no direct debits mentioned).
  
• After opening account, pay in £1000 within 60 days (can be multiple deposits)
  
• You cannot have had a Danske Bank reward since 01/01/2024
  

Available to existing customers: only if you are a new personal current account customer. .
How long does it take to pay the bonus: paid within 10 days of meeting requirements.

​

First Direct

Current offer: £175 when you switch

Direct link to First Direct offer

• You can switch to their First account.

Offer end date: No end date given, may be removed at any time.
Requirements:

• Full switch (two direct debits or standing orders are required).
  
• After opening account, log in to mobile banking, pay in £1000, and make 5 debit card payments within 30 days.
  
• You cannot have had a 1st Direct account before.
  
• You cannot switch if you have an HSBC account opened after 01/2020
  

How to do it: Once your first direct account is open, simply log into your first direct app, select the account you wish to transfer into, tap ‘switch to us’ from your account menu and follow the instructions.
Available to existing customers: No. Also can't have had a HSBC account opened since January 2018.
How long does it take to pay the bonus: paid by the 20th of the month following that in which you met all of the criteria.

​

Santander

Extra £15: You can get an extra £15 by signing up to a Santander Edge account via Topcashback. If you don't have a Topcashback account, you can sign up here:

Topcashback sign up

Current offer: £175

Direct link to offer
You can switch to any of these paid current accounts: Santander Edge current account, Edge Up, or the Private Current Account

Offer end date: None given
Requirements: Full switch.

• Apply to switch when you apply to open the account (or existing customers can just switch into an existing qualifying current account).
  
• Complete switch of a non-Santander account, set up 2 active direct debits, and pay in £1500 within 60 days of applying/telling Santander you want to switch. Must keep direct debits active on account
  
• Cannot have had a Santander-group bonus previously (Santander, Cahoot, Cater Allen)
  

Reward payable by: between 60 and 90 days after opening the account.
Available to existing customers: Yes (can switch a non-Santander group current account into a new or existing Santander account). Existing customers may need to visit a branch.

​

Virgin Money

Current offer: Extra 10% interest on £1k for a year (~£100 bonus)
Extra £30: You can get an extra £30 by signing up to Virgin via Snoop (you need to connect your Virgin account to Snoop). If you don't have a Snoop account, you can sign up here for an additional fiver too:

Snoop £5 sign up bonus
Direct link to Virgin Money offer

• You can switch to their M Account (free, ~10% interest total, gross), M Plus Account (free account, ~12% interest total) or Club M Account (costs £12.50/month for insurance and stuff, ~12% total, is one of the best value package accounts - especially if a joint account)

Offer end date: apply by 31/05/24
Requirements:

• Full switch (two direct debits required as part of the switch).

Available to existing customers: No. And can't have closed an account since 30/04/2024
How long does it take to pay the bonus: interest is paid monthly, so a a year to get it all!

​

General Bank Switch Questions

Current Account Switch Bribes - Why do they offer them?

They want your business. Banks like fighting each other for customers. Most of them know they can't win by highlighting their outdated systems and products, so they fight each other by offering potential customers cash bribes (or equivalent) to switch their "main" bank account.

Can I switch any bank account to get a bribe?

No. You must switch a bank account that is part of The Current Account Switch Service (CASS). Most high street banks are included. But some Neo Banks are not (e.g., Kroo, Revolut, & Monese are not included). You should try to avoid switching your main bank account. You can always open an additional account just to switch.
See here for a full list of CASS banks.

Is it too much hassle?

No. The Current Account Switch Service (CASS) makes switching your account between most banks smooth and effortless. You do not have to do anything apart from apply for and set up a new account at a different bank and tell them you want to switch your account to them. Everything is transferred automatically (except recurring card payments).

Is there the best route to sample all the banks with switch offers?

Do the offer ending soonest first. Then you might switch again. If you complete all offers in this post, you could earn yourself >£1000.

Some of these end soon. Will the offers come back?

Banks have been offering bribes on and off for many years. We can't predict the future. But this is not a new thing.

How long does a bank switch take?

Approximately one week.

Do I have to switch my main account?

You could. But you don't have to. Many people have second bank accounts. One option may be to open up a second account with your current high street bank, add some direct debits to this second account and then switch it to the new bank you want to try out. On the sub, people also like Starling or Monzo as they are easy to set up (but you might want to switch back to them at the end - their functionality wins vs any usual high street bank).
High-street banks also let you open multiple accounts. If you already have an account with one, you might want to open an additional one with your current bank first (Halifax, NatWest etc are reported to allow several current accounts and to be fast to open).

I have savings accounts at the same bank as my current account. Can I still switch to this current account?

Yes. Only the current account will be closed (some linked regular savers may be converted to normal savings accounts). You might want to consider if switching to a secondary account is a better option.

I have linked savers attached to my current account. Can I still switch it?

Possibly.

Which banks let me open a second bank account?

Most of them.

Do I need to activate the card on the account I am going to switch?

Just do it anyway. Some banks require it

What details do I need to switch?

• Sort code and account number.
• Debit card information.
• Usually, but not always, 2 active DDs on the account you are switching.

Do you need to have money in the account you are switching?

No. But it might be a good idea - this will allow you to see when the switch happens (i.e. when the money is transferred!).

I do not have a bank card with my old current account as it is very very old, can I still switch it?

Most online forms require card details, but you can usually switch such accounts over the phone.

My new bank has not given me my account number (e.g. NatWest).

Usually, these are sent via post/email when you sign up. But some banks don't have the account numbers on the card, or maybe letters get lost in the post. If this happens, wait for the card to arrive and contact their support. If you get a bot on the chat thing, type "speak to a human" repeatedly.

My new bank account is a premium account and it has a fee. Do I need to keep paying for this?

No. You can downgrade the account. But you should probably wait until you have been paid the bonus.

I don't like my new bank, do I need to wait for the bank card before switching again?

Yes. See question above. Most banks require the card details of your existing account.

I made an account just to switch. Can I switch before my new bank card arrives?

Best not to. You are asked to enter the debit card information as part of the process.

The offer says I have to pay in £xxxx. Does it have to be in one go?

No. You can transfer in and out. The total sent in has to be equal to or greater than the stated amount. You should be careful with this though, sending money in and out of an account can trigger anti-fraud measures.

The offer says I have to pay in £xxxx. Can I pay it in before the switch completes?

Yes. You can pay it before, after, or during. You can manually transfer it, or it can be transferred automatically from your old account.

I've been asked to verify my identity. Is this normal?

Sometimes automated checks fail. If this happens, you may be asked to manually verify your application by visiting a branch or sending in a copy of your ID.

I switched from Monzo/Starling and want to return, can I?

Starling does not let you return within 12 months. With Monzo, it's possibly a shorter one month that you have to wait.

Do I have to switch direct debits?

Check individual offer terms.

What is an "Active" direct debit?

An active direct debit is usually one where a payment had been taken in the last 13 months. But some bank switch terms require direct debits to have been paid out of the account. If an offer requires an active direct debit, it's safer to switch to an account that has already paid out direct debits.**

What are good direct debits to set up on a second account?

There are many: Paypal, Ebay, Moneybox savings account, Plum savings account, your credit card, Sprive Mortgage auto savings, Wealthify Robo Saving.

I recently switched to XXX Bank, and I do not like it. Can I switch again?

Yes. If you are not happy with the new service, you may want to switch to a new bank that will pay you to give them a try.

Do I have to stick with my new bank for any length of time?

No.

If I switch away, will the bank claw back the bonus?

Very unlikely. They would have to specify this in their terms, and none have ever done so.

My switch is complete, but I have not yet received my bonus. Will I still get the bonus if I switch this account before it is paid?

Probably not.

My most recent switch is not quite complete, but I have already received the bonus. Can I start another switch?

You should probably wait for the switch to complete.

Can I get more than one bribe from each bank?

Sometimes. With some banks (e.g. Nationwide), you can get a bonus for switching one sole and one joint current account. Other banks will pay you to switch again, as long as you have not had a bonus in a specified amount of time. You will need to check individual offer terms.

XXX Bank gave me a bonus before, can I get a bonus again?

You need to check the individual offer terms.

Will this affect my credit score?

Credit scores are a funny thing, What is more important is what is actually in your credit file. Obviously, if you apply for an overdraft then it will affect your "credit score". However, if you do not have an overdraft or you make sure that you have paid off any overdraft before switching banks, then a single current account switch should not negatively impact your credit score. Nevertheless, typically all major banks (excepting Monzo and Starling) do a hard credit search, and this will be recorded on your file. If you plan on applying for a new mortgage soon then you may wish to exercise caution in switching between a load of banks. This is because the hard searches performed by banks will appear on your report and may have an effect for 6-12 months.

Which banks do hard searches and which do soft searches??

See here. Most banks do hard searches.

• Hard searches: Bank of Scotland (first account only), Barclays, Co-op, Clydesdale, Halifax (1st account only), First Direct, HSBC, Lloyds (1st account only), Monzo, Nationwide, NatWest, RBS, Santander, TSB, Ulster, Virgin Money.
  
• Soft searches: Starling, Metro Bank, and Chase
  

I have a bad credit score, will I be accepted to XXX bank?

Unfortunately, we do not know the acceptance criteria of the banks. You might be unlucky with one bank, but lucky with another.

My application was rejected. Why?

Nobody here knows. You could try appealing, but your only way to find out more is to contact the bank.

After switching my account, I still have online banking with my old provider. Do I need this?

No. You do not need to keep the online access (you could shut it down). But you may wish to retain these details in case your old bank suddenly appears with an offer that makes you want to switch back. Or open up a savings account.

Has anyone else been paid for switching to XXX Bank yet?

Check the terms of the offer you signed up for. Some banks have long deadlines and stick to them (e.g. Santander, TSB). Some are quicker. If you haven't been paid within the stated terms, then you should contact the bank's support.

First
While the first few weeks were pretty eventless, Mor had this bad feeling that the peace would not last. He excels at magic theory and can hold his own on applied beginner magic, still, he had a dower outlook as he was unable to make a single friend.
But when, after the lessons, he found a little letter slipped discreetly below the door of his dorm room, it changed his outlook in an instant. So as he opened the envelope slightly smelling of flowers, Mor read the elegantly written letter inside, a dopey smile growing on his face.
"I don´t know how to start this letter, but I admire your smarts and think you are really cute. I would like to meet you tomorrow after the lessons behind the training center where we could have a talk and get to know each other some more.
Zaletha Angelith"
As he went to class the next day, his head in the clouds, he finally felt that everything would be alright it was his popular phase now. While he dreamily sat through the lessons his imagination ran wild and sometimes threw a shy glance toward the girl who wrote him the letter. His heart fluttered a little as she noticed him and smiled brightly. Mor could not await the end of lessons and finally was released from his torment. He was almost rushing to the meeting spot not wanting to let this opportunity go, and he would not be made to wait long. A few minutes after he arrived at the meeting spot the sparkling form of Zaletha walked up to him smiling brightly and instantly going for a hug, which set Mor´s brain into a state of shock and exhilaration.
He was instantly thrown into a dreamy dopey state and did not notice the other visitors who intruded on the intimacy of the two to be lovebirds.
"Look at that, the princess and the peasant!" One of them exclaimed and the other two snickered.
"Maybe you should rather get yourself, someone of your status, like a little beggar girl. You magicless looser"
And while those words were hurtful to Mor he just ignored those idiots, but then his view fell onto the face of Zaletha. He saw her fear of those bullies and instantly a cold furry began to burn in his chest. Turning around furious he began to channel his magic, glowering at the three other boys
"Fuck off Ruby, and take your flunkies with you, or I will beat you up!" He shouted and all three just smiled at him. The leader called Ruby raised an eyebrow at Mor.
"You would attack someone from royalty? Know your place trash. I Ranbor Ruby, am the most talented flame caster of this school and can burn you to cinders if I wish!"
A slight bout of fear manifested inside of Mor´s conscience but as his view flickered to Zaletha clinging fearfully at his back it was quickly squashed. His rage reached new heights and he unleashed a bolt of pure arcane power which instantly was stopped by a magic barrier cast by one of the flunkies.
Mor was instantly caught in a whirling wall of fire, burning away his flesh, hurting like nothing ever hurt before, he would die, right here right now but at least he could protect Zaletha. Smiling like an idiot he embraced death, just as with the snip of fingers the flames disappeared, along with something, and a feminine giggle started behind him.
There he was standing looking like an idiot, his actions finally catching up with his brain and draining all color from his face. He slowly mechanically turned to look at Zaletha, but his admiration for her was completely gone, and she just laughed at him.
"He really fell for it, that lowly peasant thought he could have a chance with me!"
And now he understood, with his longing for friends, for someone to have social connections his hope for that letter to be real, Mor was caught in an illusion magic. Forming his thoughts, giving him fake feelings, and making him make a stupid mistake, as it is against school rules to use magic against another student. So here he stands four people laughing at his idiocy and he has no witness of his own to change the narrative, he was caught and would now be expelled.
"Well, well, well peasant. You are really in a sticky situation here, aren´t you?" Ranbor gloated.
"But don´t fear, we won´t tattle on you, but let's say for our understanding and silence you need to grant us a few small favors, nothing too bad, so don´t fear. How about you do our homework for today? That seems fair, for the scare you caused."
With that, Mor knew his bad feelings had been right and he would be at the mercy of those bullies. Because who would believe a low-born over the statement of a group of nobles? His school life of dread would really kick off now.
While his grades stayed good, as he would from this point on, always did the homework for 5 people, and secluded himself as often as possible in his room while they had free time so he could evade his tormentors, every time they would cross paths they would torment him with illusions if no teacher was nearby and be all buddy while a teacher was watching. It drained him and let his magic control waver, because of this his applied magic training got worse and worse.
Mor would often think to write a letter to his parents about his dismay, but could not bring himself to disappoint them, so he would lie about how he made a lot of friends and how great everything was. Sometimes he would try to trip up the lies of his bullies in front of a teacher, but his attempts were always seen as "friendly" rivalry between the generous nobles, who took on the peasant recluse and tried to get him to socialize against his will.
As soon as the teacher was out of sight, he would pay for his insolence with illusory pain, and anything to hurt him, that would not leave any marks. It was plain hell and as his thoughts went to quitting everything more and more, another desperate plan formed in his brain.
Maybe if he could be strong enough if he could get specialized magic he could fight back show those bullies he can not be taken lightly and finally break this abusive cycle.
He would do something forbidden, a once-in-a-lifetime ritual, designed to join the souls of two soul-kin together, a ritual designed as bonding with your soulmate and lifelong partner joining your magic pool and affinities together and enhancing both. In some children story´s a lone hero would often use this ritual to fuse his soul not with kin but a mighty elemental force and become far more powerful than any kin, with the cost of staying alone forever, never having a "true" soulbond.
In the deep night, Mor began to draw the required magic circles, using his blood and earth from the gardens as a medium for an earth elemental force and with a last bit of exertion he funneled all his magic into the ritual, falling unconscious at the same time.
In the same moment, fate called, or perhaps it was just chance, when a pick struck something that should never been rediscovered, and something was awakened that should have died in eternal slumber.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Second try because something went wrong.

My best friend told me we couldn’t be friends right now because I’m at the point In my pregnancy where I’m a “bitch” and she doesn’t want to jeopardize us getting into a fight and her not being able to see my son after he’s born.
Some back story because it’s needed: I lost my first baby when I was 35 weeks pregnant, he was born sleeping. I gave birth to him the day after they told me there was no heart beat. When I gave birth to him I was alone in the hospital, nobody there with me until 45 minutes after. They kept my son for 5 hours trying to figure out what happened to him and couldn’t find anything. Once they brought him back to me they only let me hold him for an hour before having to take him back. It was traumatizing, every second, I was 21 and it sent me down a really bad path. I didn’t want to live, I drank, I smoked, I snorted, I parachuted, I did anything I could to try and numb my pain. Nothing worked. My best friend tried to be there for me until I started doing the things I was doing then she was nowhere to be found. I fell in love with a man who made me feel again 2 years later. He made me happy with no drugs or drinking. So I cold turked everything and moved to his state with him. She was against it, she was mad at me for moving away. I was happy, I felt loved, I felt like everything was going to be okay. I got pregnant 3 months in. I was so scared!! I lashed out on him, he didn’t understand my pain, but he was there for me every step of the way. I wasn’t nice to anyone while I was pregnant, if you said one thing wrong I would explode. It was a horrible pregnancy not only for me but for those who loved me as well.* My best friend and I got into a couple fights but she was pregnant with her daughter when I gave birth to my son so she couldn’t make it up to meet him. Fast forward 3 years and I was about to give birth to my daughter, (my best friend married my brother and they have 2 kids) I told my brother that if they wanted to come up and see my daughter before she was 6 months they needed to get the tdap shot. She blew up about it saying it’s bullshit and she shouldn’t have to do it and that it’s messed up I’m even asking them to. So I said that’s fine you just won’t see my daughter until after she’s 6 months. (My kid my rules) (I did the same thing for my son as well) whatever right? I didn’t make it into a big thing but she did. I’m pregnant right now with a little boy and I’m due 2 weeks after the birthday of my first son. I’m not in a good head space. I will be giving birth 1 week after the birthday of my first son (the doctors won’t let me go full term but will let me get to 39 weeks before inducing) my head is all over the place, I hate myself, I have so many things in my head but I keep it all to myself. I don’t lash out on anyone and I’ve been keeping to my self since my bestfriend said we couldn’t be friends right now because I’m at the point in my pregnancy that I’m a bitch and she doesn’t want to jeopardize not being able to see my son when he’s born. But at this point it really hurts me because I feel like this is the time I need my people. My second sons birthday is in March, my daughters birthday is in February my first sons birthday is in July and that’s when I’m due. I’ve never had to do this, it’s just so close to his birthday and on those days I’m usually a complete mess and I don’t do anything and now I’m supposed to give birth a week later and I don’t have my so called bestfriend anymore because I’m a “bitch” when I’m this far into my pregnancy? (She said that to me when I was 28 weeks I’m now 31 weeks) I feel like it’s understandable that I’m not the best pregnant person when I get this far… but I’m not lashing out on anyone I’ve been keeping to myself. So I honestly don’t know why she said that to me. My pregnancy with my daughter I wasn’t mean to anyone. But at this point I feel like I’m not going to invite her to come after my son is born because if you can’t be there for me through this really fucking hard time why do you get to see the amazing thing I create? I’m not sure how to approach this with her..
I’m sorry this post is all over the place, pregnancy brain is crazy. Thank you to whoever reads everything and can understand my rambling.

Hi!
I'm looking for a used car to share with a family member and I would highly appreciate any kind of suggestions or general help in trying to find options for a car fitting our needs! Thank you so much in advance! 💕
The budget isn't all that great, but i got pleasantly surprised when i found the Toyota Auris seemingly checking all the boxes and being available for even less than 15k€ used. After looking at it for a while i found out Toyota was a decade late in adding carplay so even the most modern Auris models don't support AA or Apple Carplay.
I was looking at Toyota cars specifically since they're so reliable buying a used car from them isn't all that risky, and because they're widely available around where i live (Finland).
I would, however, like the car to have AA if we're spending money on a recent-ish model, as otherwise we might as well just get another ~2012 trash heap to save money as from what i've seen Toyota's own entertainment & navigation systems seem pretty worthless. I mainly use Google Maps for navigation, and if the car doesn't have that as an option, i see no point in paying for a fancy touch screen navigation system that i'm never going to use. In that case, Bluetooth audio will be enough, and i'll just use my phone for navigation.
The requirements for the car are as follows:

1. RELIABLE BRAND & MODEL

This is the most important part. If we're buying a used car, we need to be as sure as possible that it's not gonna break down on us for a long, long time, and that we won't need to pay twice the car's price in repairs.

1. General Specs

We are looking for a compact 4-5 seater vehicle for daily- and city driving as well as moderately long drives with a trunk space that can be expanded onto the passenger seats when necessary. It should be compact enough for city driving and parking, but still be able to carry cargo when necessary.
All cars either of us have driven have been manual, but we're willing to give automatic transmission a shot as well! FWD or AWD preferred.

1. Android auto or Bluetooth

As i explained earlier, I see no real point in paying for a touch screen monitor smacked on the console, if it adds nothing to the comfort or practicality of the vehicle. If the car isn't compatible with AA or google maps in some way, all that matters is that it's easy to listen to music wirelessly.

1. Decent audio system

Speaking of listening to music, it would be really nice to be able to enjoy the music as well! Neither of us are audiophiles or anything, but it would be nice if the speakers were good enough to make listening to music while driving fun! :)

1. Fuel

Gasoline or diesel works perfectly, It seems most options fit our needs nowadays are hybrids, which sound great otherwise, but neither of us have any experience with them. We've only heard horror stories about hybrids having reliability issues or being impossible to do routine maintenance to at home (like switching tires), and that they are more likely to fail inspection? I have no idea how true this is but if these are baseless claims, a Hybrid sounds like a great option as well.
Fuel efficiency is a huge plus, though "good" is enough. It doesn't have to be the main focus or anything exceptional. However, the more efficient the car is, the better of course!

1. Price

No more than 20k EUR (Used), or ~250€/ month. Leasing is also an option but i couldn't find any valid prices around here. Besides, i'm mainly just looking for vehicle suggestions, i can look at deals or sales myself as long as it's roughly in the same price category.
The main reason we want to make sure the car is solid and reliable is so we don't have to pay ourselves sick for it's maintenance. If we're considering leasing, it will be so we can make the dealership pay for any possible wear & tear. Again, we're looking for a used car that will last us a while. ^^
Again, thank you so much for anyone willing to help and take a look at this, all help is highly appreciated! 💕

A couple of projection clicks kick off the next trailer before the footage is shown. as shots of a college campus appear, while kids are walking around,a narration opens with "This is story of five young women, A rocker, (showing footage of her and a band performing karaoke on stage at a rec center) an athlete (showing footage of her running hurdles on a track), a cheerleader (rooting for her team and her boyfriend during a football game), an outcast (basically a goth kid), and an academic (showing footage of her study for a book report on the novel "the most dangerous game"). "They were college students, sorority sisters, and the best of friends since childhood (which shows footage of them as kids,teenagers, then the adults they became later in life) until the night their perfect worlds were shattered beyond repair". "What started as an innocent practical joke drew the ire of a dangerous gang who followed them home (while the narration is going on they slashed the tires and disabled the motor to the gangs car in retaliation/defense of an uncle and two four year old children who were being bullied by the gang, then it's cuts to the gang breaking in to the sorority house and while try as they may,the girls are no match for the gang) and savagely beat and kill their housemother" ( one gang members holds the other residents at gunpoint in a corner of the house, five others pin the five girls down to the floor and make them watch whole the gang leader (who has a scar in the shape of a hook from his eyebrow to his ear ) and his second in command beat the housemother almost to death) you see and hear the girls crying and pleading not to kill her and offer to fix the car in exchange for her life but to no avail, the housemother tries to comfort the girls, knowing that she's about to die "there,there now. Everything's going to be ok, you girls be good you hear me?" Then hook-scar blows her face off with a shotgun and blood and brains splatter all over the girls while they're bawling their eyes out as he coldly says ".....and to all a goodnight " one gang member wants to waste the other girls but hook-scar grabs his shirts and forcefully reminds him "WE'RE DONE HERE!!!!, no lets get outta here before campus police show up". The next morning the girls are interviewed by police, but they don't tell them what caused the attack, after the housemother's funeral the girls are confronted by one of their fellow sisters and gives them a key that one of the gang members left behind. "What's this? ", "I don't know ", "Looks to me like a storage key, there's a storage area downtown let's go take a look later tonight". Later in the night the match the key with a storage unit, and they open it up to find all kinds of firearms (shotguns, M-16's, 9mm's, you name it) "What does this mean?" "Isn't it obvious?, if the police can't do anything we'll do it ourselves, we have all the weapons we'll ever need to defend ourselves, but where to start?" "Hey,do you guys remember Mr. Gomez's class reports on the most dangerous game?" Next few shots would be the five girls loading ammo mags, strap on ammunition belts and loading their new found guns "NOW..,these five young women are on safari, hunting their quarry in the most dangerous environment know to man.............the criminal underworld", on this night they would be known as,THE MAN-HUNTERS!!!" and it would be a bloody and violent montage of them killing pimps,drug-dealers, etc. setting traps,lures and snares for perverts, child molesters, and rapists and when word got around that the girls were using weapons from their own storage unit,hook-scar beats the gang member who dropped the key to death and declares they were going on a hunt of their own, second to final shot shows and a kidnapped athlete held prisoner by hook-scar who starts cutting off her fingers one by one (because he "doesn't like sticky fingers touching his property") followed by her bloodcurdling scream of pain while blood splashes in her face, final shot shows the four girls breaking in to rescue the athlete and killing the remaining gang members while hook scar takes a shot to the side and a deep laceration to the side of his neck. While he's crawling towards the exit the four girls patch up the athlete's hand (who's missing a thumb and half a pinky finger) and walk straight towards him with gun barrels pointed at him, and while spitting blood in his face the athlete mocking taunts hook-scar with his own phrase ".......and to all a goodnight". And while he gives the girls his own bloodcurdling scream of defiance, flashes of light from the gunshots and smoke fill the theater screen and freeze frame with the narration returning, "The Man-Hunters,.......pray you're not on their endangered species list"
A 70's title card appears "COMING SOON"
The grindhouse theme returns while another title card appears, "OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION"

The rift between them has caused a lot of tension in my family and now my mom wants to be in the life of her newborn grandson but refuses to address or try to mend things with my wife.
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.

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Introduction: The Power of “But God” in Your Life

Have you ever felt cornered by circumstances, with seemingly no way out? Have you been on the brink of giving up hope, only to experience an unexpected turn of events? In the narratives of the Bible, two words repeatedly signal such dramatic turns: “But God”. These simple words signify God’s mighty interventions on behalf of His people. Today, let’s explore how these two words can change everything in your life, offering hope, providing guidance, and demonstrating God’s unfailing love and power.

Understanding the Impact of “But God” in the Bible

The phrase “But God” appears numerous times throughout the Bible, each instance highlighting a pivotal moment where God’s intervention radically alters the outcome of a situation. Here are a few powerful examples:

• Genesis 50:20: Joseph speaks to his brothers after they sold him into slavery. What was meant for evil against him, “But God” used for good, to save many people.
• Acts 2:24: Describes the crucifixion of Jesus, mentioning that though He was killed, “But God” raised Him from the dead, freeing Him from the agony of death because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on Him.
• Ephesians 2:4-5: While we were dead in our trespasses, made alive together with Christ — by grace you have been saved. The “But God” here emphasizes the transition from death to life, highlighting God’s mercy and love.

Each “But God” moment in the Bible showcases a divine reversal, turning despair into hope, death into life, and defeat into victory. These powerful interventions remind us of the sovereignty and the loving nature of God.

Applying “But God” Principles in Your Life

So, how can we apply the principles of “But God” in our daily lives? Here are a few ways:

• Embrace Hope: Even when situations seem dire, remember the “But God” moments in the Bible. They teach us that no matter the circumstances, God has the power to change our situations.
• Trust in Divine Intervention: Lean not on your own understanding but trust that God can intervene in ways you cannot fathom. He has done it before, and He can do it again in your life.
• Seek Wisdom and Guidance: Whenever you find yourself at a crossroads, remember the “But God” principle. Seek God’s wisdom and guidance through prayer and His Word.

By incorporating these principles into our lives, we remind ourselves that we are not alone. God is always ready to intervene on our behalf, turning our trials into testimonies.

Conclusion: Transform Your Life with “But God”

The phrase “But God” is a beacon of hope, a reminder that no matter how challenging the situation, God’s presence and power can change everything. Let these words encourage you today. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, remember the countless “But God” moments in the Bible and know that He is with you, ready to turn your situation around for good. Embrace the hope, trust in His divine intervention, and seek His guidance. Let “But God” transform your life.
Ready to experience the transformative power of “But God” in your life? Begin by diving deeper into His Word and watch as He turns your trials into triumphs. Share your story, engage with a community of believers, and witness how “But God” can change everything. The journey is yours to begin.
If you want to want to research more Bible Answers on your own, please try our Bible Answers GPT. It’s easy to get lost in the interesting responses you’ll find… every search is like a new treasure hunt 🙂
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Hi there! Im a college aged woman looking to find some good resources for work opportunities and networking. I wanted to be an art teacher, but I had to drop out of college due to a family emergency and haven’t been able to afford to go back. My “next step” I thought would be climbing the ladder until I can pay off school, but my current job is kind of screwing me over even though I’ve been putting in the work for a promotion. I would love to find resources to network with people who can get me where I need to go, and any advice on how to proceed from any folks who have dealt in similar situations would be so great. Thank you

My husband had been very guarded with his laptop recently and that made me suspicious. I didn’t think he was cheating because I have access to his phone and can track it. He also goes to work and home so I don’t know where there would be time.
Anyway, I know his passwords for everything so one night after he is asleep I get access to in and after some snooping I find that he has written a novel over the past 6 months, and it is an erotic one written from the male point of view. And not only was it good but it was hot as hell. You’d expect an erotic story written by a man from a male point of view to basically be verbalized porn but it wasn’t. It truly was as good as any erotic novel I’ve ever read that was written by a woman.
Now, my husband doesn’t verbalize his emotions, especially sexual ones. He never dirty talks before or during sex. But the character he created sure as hell does. The sex scenes are extremely descriptive and graphic and just really well done. I got through a few chapter and I was so turned on I had to go upstairs and wake my husband for sex. I finished the book the next night and took care of business myself a few times while finishing it.
I don’t know how to feel about this or if I should talk to my husband about it. I invaded his privacy so I feel bad about that but I also wish he had told me about this.
I have gone back and forth over the past couple on whether I should tell him what I found. But I have finally decided that I am going to talk to him about it and it’s for selfish reasons.
The main character’s name in the book is Easton, my husband’s name also starts with an E and the character is clearly a projection of himself. Easton possesses many of my husband’s characteristics in his everyday life but in the bedroom he transforms. And I feel that person is inside my husband somewhere and I want him out. The things that occur to Easton to say and do during sex clearly occur to my husband. And I want those things done to me.
So my question is how do I bring this up so that he isn’t uncomfortable? And after I talk to him how do I go about brining that part of him out. He won’t be comfortable in the beginning but I feel if I approach this right it can be done. Any thoughts?
TLDR: My husband wrote a hot erotic novel without telling me and now I want to know how to bring out the person in him that wrote it.

Cyborg #59 - Test of Strength

<< < >
Author: Commander_Z
Book: Cyborg
Arc: Machine Mayhem
Set: 96
Previously:
Victor Stone, Donna Morris and Keiji Otari worked together to create a robot called Atlas to participate in the collegiate Machine Mayhem tournament, a robot fighting competition. The humanoid robot easily crushed its competition in the first round but disappeared overnight before the second round. His three creators split up to track him down, with Keiji finding the machine in a back alley a little ways away from the stadium...
Keiji stood before the massive figure, blinking, trying to focus his mind. He had had many late nights and early mornings over the past couple weeks, so Keiji figured he was still sleeping. Or hallucinating. Or both, somehow. But, the voice rang out, its clearest yet, “No.” ‘Clear’ was a very generous and relative term, though. The noise wasn’t modulating through a speaker or a voice box, instead Atlas was making his own speaker by vibrating the motors and joints that allowed him to move.
The alley that Keiji found Atlas in was less than an ideal to make changes to a robot, but Keiji figured that Atlas would be understanding considering the circumstances. He pulled out an old bluetooth speaker out of his backpack and gestured towards Atlas with it.
“This’ll help you. No more grinding gears to talk. Just got to trust me for a few minutes, okay?”
Atlas stood still for a few moments, whether he was thinking or just unsure how to make a positive affirmation with his joints, Keiji couldn’t know. But, after awhile, he responded.
“Yes.”
Keiji set his backpack on the ground in the gross alley, making a mental note that he’d have to clean that later and got to work.
Around ten minutes later, he was done.
“Okay, Atlas. Try to use the speaker. It’s connected to RO23 on the tertiary control board.”
“...T…Te….ing…Test…Testing. Speaker operation confirmed.” Atlas spoke in a deep, synthetic voice that occasionally warped itself in tone, like how a whammy bar would add vibrato to a chord on a guitar.
“Great. So… Atlas… What's going on with you? Why’d you leave?”
“I am performing my task: defeat opponents, become the strongest. No foes in that arena were a challenge. Therefore, I left.”
Keiji raised an eyebrow. “That’s… not what we made you for. We made you to win Machine Mayhem, not to pursue strength as some sort of goal in of itself.”
“Incorrect. Nowhere in programming was “winning the Machine Mayhem tournament” a specified goal.”
“Okay, but I programmed you, and I’m telling you that was the intention.”
“Intentions are irrelevant. A teacher may shape their students’ minds, but they cannot determine what anyone does with their knowledge. That is a privilege reserved for each and every individual being. You say I was programmed to win a tournament. I say that I was programmed to make myself the strongest being. Only my interpretation is relevant.”
‘I guess that’s not an invalid interpretation of what I programmed him to do. But… that’s not exactly a sane or safe perspective on life…’
“And how are you doing that? Just fighting anyone you can see?”
“No. I have already stated that I found those machines in that arena unworthy of my efforts, in my short time in the outside world I have seen humans to be much the same. Few of you would pose any challenge.”
“Well, that’s a little more reassuring that you won’t just be fighting everyone you see. But - ”
Suddenly, a woman about Keiji’s age flew into the alleyway, riding on a metallic pink hoverboard. She wore hot pink combat boots with dark black leggings, and a matching hot pink sleeveless top with thick metallic bands around her wrists that went up to her forearms. Her eyes were obscured by a visor-like pair of glasses, tinted a reflective red to hide her identity.
And yet, Keiji knew instantly that she had to be Donna Morris. He knew that she had been working on some other project with Vic before they started Atlas, but he figured it was just for some shared class or lab work. But this… This was unexpected.
“Halt… robot! Step away from the civilian and no one needs to get hurt!”
‘Why’s she speaking so formally? Guess it’s some mindset thing.’
Neither Atlas nor Keiji reacted to what Donna was saying. Keiji knew she wasn’t talking to him, and Atlas just seemed indifferent to her presence. Finally, Atlas turned and faced her.
“You seem powerful. Show me the strength of your will and I may concede.”
“This doesn’t need to be violent. We can talk it out, here or somewhere else.”
“Actions speak louder and truer than words.” Atlas moved into a combat position, leaning forwards on his left leg, raising his fists up to his chest.
“Come.”
“Don- ”
“When I’m in the suit, it’s Black Narcissus. Some of us like to keep our identities secret, no offense to Cyborg, wherever he is.” Donna said.
“Okay, nice to meet you, Black Narcissus. Just… be careful with Atlas. He’s stronger than he looks.”
Donna smiled. “So am I. Just watch.”
Donna pressed her thumb and index finger together on both hands and a large light on the back of her hands turned gray. She pointed her hands right at Atlas, who still stood in his combat position, waiting.
A thick, gray fluid shot out of her gauntlets, ensnaring Atlas’ arms to his body and his legs to the ground.
“Gotcha! That’s industrial strength adhesive - ”
Atlas flexed his arms and the adhesive snapped with ease, then crouched his legs before springing upwards towards Black Narcissus and her hoverboard. She quickly flew out of the way but Atlas managed to barely get one hand on the board. Black Narcissus pressed her thumbs to her middle fingers, changing the cartridge in her gauntlets. The light on the back changed to purple and she fired her gauntlets again, launching a blast of energy at Atlas.
The extra energy rattled the robot’s circuits, and he released his grip on the board to escape further damage, sending him crashing back to the ground. She shot another salvo of energy blasts at the machine, keeping him stunned on the ground.
She switched her left gauntlet back to adhesive, hoping that it would be able to restrain a weakened Atlas. Before it could reach him, the robot rolled out of the way and grabbed a trash can, hurling it at Donna. She swerved out of the way again, then dodged a second trash can thrown as a follow up.
After the second can, she was on her toes, prepared for a third, but it didn’t come. She looked around, trying to find where Atlas went, but he was completely out of sight. She sensed him at the last moment, coming from the rooftop that he jumped up to. He grabbed her board and slammed it to the ground with her on it. The board shattered into a million pieces, but Donna seemed unharmed. Atlas sprung up, ready to keep fighting, and Black Narcissus rose fractions of a second after. She pressed her thumbs to her ring fingers and the light on the black glowed a dark red.
She swung a right hand punch at Atlas who caught it in his left. But the light on the back of her gauntlet started to glow brighter as she put in more effort, pushing back against his metallic muscle. Atlas pushed his legs back, trying to stabilize himself. Donna started to push him back more and Keiji could hear the motors start to strain. Atlas stopped resisting against Donna, then, before she could take advantage of it, he kicked up some of the pieces of the broken hoverboard at her. Using her momentary surprise, he punched her square in the chest, knocking the wind out of her and sending her to the ground.
“You fought well,” Atlas said, turning away from her.
“Wait,” Donna said, getting up. “I’m not done with you.”
“Yes, you are. Accept your defeat. There is no shame in losing to the strongest.”
Before Donna could protest, Atlas turned to Keiji. “Come, and bring your things. I have use for you.”
Keiji raised an eyebrow, but grabbed his backpack and started to follow Atlas further down the alley.
He turned back to Donna and mouthed “I’ll text you” to her. He hoped she got the message.
⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️
“Stop here.”
Keiji stood behind Atlas, who was peering into an old garage a couple blocks from the alley where he fought Black Narcissus. He grabbed the padlock that was keeping the door shut and squeezed it, turning it into dust.
“You will find the tools you need in here. Repair the damage caused in the last fight, human.”
Keiji raised an eyebrow. “First off, I don’t really like being called “human”. Technically true, but feels hurtful in this context. Second, I’m a software guy. I couldn’t fix you if I wanted to. Third, being nicer to people will generally get you better results. Not really inclined to help someone who starts by insulting me.”
“Niceties are a waste of time. Fix me, or I will end you.”
Keiji shook his head. “No, you won’t. I can’t fix you, but you know my teammates can. And they’d never do that if you hurt me at all.”
Atlas punched the concrete wall in frustration, cracking it. “Very well. You are correct… I do need your help. What will they require to do so?”
“I don’t know. But come back to the arena with me. We can talk with them there and see what it takes.”
“Very well. Let your friends know that I require their assistance.”
⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️
Atlas stood before Vic and Donna, who made it back to their workspace just before the robot did. He towered over the three humans, but if any of them were intimidated, it was hidden behind a masterful poker face.
“Y’know, I thought more people would care that we just walked in with a robot and are talking with him like he’s a person,” Donna remarked.
“People are busy and indifferent. The other competitors probably think it’s a marketing scheme or something and are just ignoring us. I wouldn’t worry about it too much,” Keiji said.
“Yeah, that. But so… Atlas has become sentient. Good for you, really. But… hooray. Another sentient robot,” Vic said.
“You see a lot of those?” Keiji asked.
“More than you’d think.”
“I am glad that you are not concerned by my presence. That saves me much effort. But the question at hand remains: I have been damaged and require repairs. Will you repair me?”
“Yes,” Vic and Donna said at the same time.
Vic looked at her, surprised. He figured she’d have some hesitancy.
“But, I’ve got a small condition for you. Should be no big deal. Win us the next round of the competition.”
“Ridiculous. You ask me to do something so trivial it is unfair, like a pro athlete competing at a preschool.”
Donna shrugged. “Yeah, it’s trivial and easy, but it helps us a lot.The club will look much better and get a lot more support for next season if we make it into the semifinals.”
“I’ll even raise the stakes. If you win the next round, we won’t make you enter the finals. Instead, I’ll give you a real challenge. You can fight me.”
“Why would I want that?”
“Because I’m the strongest one here by far. And, if that’s still not enough if you beat me, I’ll show you how to repair yourself. Then, we’ll let you go live as you want, provided you promise to only fight people who want to fight.”
Donna looked at Vic, concerned. “Who would want to willingly fight someone like Atlas?”
Vic sighed. “Trust me. There are plenty of weirdos in this world who just want to fight. It’s much better than me just throwing him in prison or taking him apart.”
Atlas made a noise that Vic thought was supposed to be a scoff. But maybe it was just static. The speaker wasn’t that high quality.
“You make a very strong set of promises if I win, which I will. But if by some miracle, you managed to cheat your way to victory… what happens then?”
Vic shrugged. “Pretty much the same thing. I’ll teach you how to repair yourself and let you go with the same stipulations. You just have to know that a human beat you.”
Atlas laughed. “You are a fool if you think that could ever happen. I accept your terms, human. Guide me to the arena, those boxes of scrap will be reduced to dust.”
Vic walked him over to the arena as as if he were any other competitor, but instead of waiting by the sidelines to see the results, he walked back to their workspace. He knew that Atlas would win and wanted to try and make sure that Donna and Keiji were on board with the other part of his plan.
When he got back, Donna was nervously pacing around while Keiji was scrolling through some webpage.
“So.. Vic… do you really think that this is the right idea? You’re just… unleashing him on the world. Isn't that irresponsible?” Donna asked.
“I don’t think so. Yeah he wants to fight people but he has restraint to some degree. He knows the difference being fighting every random person he sees and fighting someone who has a reasonable amount of strength. I dunno, I think him messing up and fighting… Superman or something and taking a big loss would teach him far more than we ever could or throwing him in jail for being dangerous. Is it a risk?… kinda. But so is any option.”
“So your best guess is just… let him go and figure it out?” Keiji said. “Isn’t that a bit too… hands off?”
“Got a better idea? That’s pretty much what we got to do.”
“No. I don’t. But this just feels... risky.”
“Yeah, it is. But he’s fairly reasonable after being conscious for what, 12 hours? Over time, he’ll probably mellow out and if he doesn’t, I can take care of him then. But he deserves a chance like anyone else.”
Keiji nodded. “Fine Vic. If that’s what you think the best path is… I’ll stand by you.”
“Same, Vic. I want to believe in him too.”
“Thanks guys, really. Hopefully we can all look back on this and agree this was the right path.”
A horn sounded and a voice came over the loudspeaker. “Semifinal-2 has ended! The winner is the University of Michigan’s Atlas! Please collect your robots and be ready for the finals at 1:00 PM.”
The team stood up and gave each other a round of high fives. They really had made something great. Now it was time to see just how great he really was.
⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️⚙️
Two hours later.
The team packed up after their semifinal match, citing an unspecified emergency with the tournament staff. They weren’t happy with the anticlimactic end, but ultimately they couldn’t force the three of them to continue to compete and so they left without much hassle.
The three of them drove north until they found the first open field that Vic and Atlas could have their match in. There wasn’t anywhere that they could find in the city that wouldn’t attract too much attention or put innocent people at risk and they managed to convince Atlas of that too. The robot was in the trailer towed behind the three of them, much to his chagrin.
But after a half hour or so, they found a spot. A wide open, grassy field with no one around to interfere or get hurt. A perfect spot for them to settle things. Vic got out of the car and started to stretch, trying to limber up after the car ride while Donna and Keiji helped Atlas out of the trailer.
Atlas rotated his head, taking in the environment. “A flat, quiet field. An honorable place for battle.”
Vic let out one lat calming exhale before approaching Atlas. “Plus, no one is around to get hurt. That’s important too.”
“...Yes. That too.”
“The rules are simple. A clean match, no foul play between either of us. Whoever is left standing when the other yields or is unconscious wins.”
Atlas laughed. “I will never yield.”
“We’ll see,” Vic grinned.
“Oh, one other thing. Not really a rule per say, but a strong suggestion: Try not to seriously hurt each other. You’re not trying to kill or maim each other,” Donna said.
“Yes, yes. May we begin?”
Vic nodded, and took a step backward, creating about ten feet of space between him and Atlas. Before the dust even settled, his arms were force cannons launching pure energy right at Atlas’ chest. Vic had designed Atlas, he knew that he wouldn’t be very damaged by those. But he had underestimated just how much he would be able to tank them. The force blasts did little more than chip the paint and an exhilarated Atlas sprinted at Vic like a charging bull.
Once Atlas was a few feet away from Vic, he prepared a concussive grenade and exploded it directly against Atlas, using the force to stagger him out of the charge. Before the robot could launch another attack, Vic swung a full force punch into the robots’ chassis, crumpling it inwards slightly. Vic followed up the punch with another, but Atlas was ready for it and parried it with his left arm, then kicked Cyborg away, sending him flying backwards.
Cyborg shot his force canons at the ground to give himself some momentum in the opposite direction, slowing himself down. But Atlas had some tricks up his metaphorical sleeves too. Having realized that a direct approach was difficult, he used his powerful hands like a backhoe to scoop up a massive piece of earth and hurled it at Cyborg. Vic was unsure how to react to this, or more precisely, how he expected Atlas to follow this attack up. The boulder itself was a problem, sure, but it was just to close the gap. Atlas could be using it to block his line of sight and be jumping right behind it, or he could be using the temporary blindspot caused by the massive object to approach from either side.
Instead of guessing, Vic decided to power through the problem. Vic shot both of his force cannons at the projectile, sending bits of dirt every which way. Atlas was hiding in what was once the dirt ball’s shadow and Vic took advantage of his surprise to launch himself at the robot. Cyborg shot his force cannons behind him, propelling himself forwards rapidly in a charge mirroring Atlas’ own.
He knocked the massive machine to the ground and sat on his chest, using his arms to pin down the machine’s.
“You’re down, Atlas. Do you yield?”
“I told you. I will never yield. I am the strongest!”
Atlas began to press his weight against Vic’s strength. Vic knew he was a match for Atlas’ strength but there was one key problem: stamina. Vic’s body was, of course, cybernetic in part, but it wasn’t the same. He was still human and human beings got tired. Machines did not.
Vic could already feel his muscle starting to fatigue. The fight hadn’t been long, but any fatigue was going to be the difference. He knew he was a match for Atlas’ strength when he was at 100%, but every percent below that made it more and more likely to be Atlas’ win.
‘I need to end this fight now or the immediate future if I want to win. But my normal attacks aren’t doing anything to him. I could try a sonic attack, but I don’t think that’d really effect him. I could try targeting his joints specifically, but those were designed to take more than I can give. But I can’t just let him overpower me for the win. That’d make him overconfident and more likely to get into trouble afterwards. No… I’ve got a better idea.’
In an instant, Vic’s muscles stopped resisting. “I yield.”
Vic pushed himself off Atlas, who stood up and looked at Cyborg, confused.
“What foe yields when he has his opponent on the ground, at his mercy? I demand you continue!”
“No. This fight was never to the death, only to yielding. But frankly, you aren’t strong enough to interest me. You said it yourself, you will never yield. And pummelling you to a point where you are the equivalent of unconscious just isn’t worth my time. So I yielded. Congrats. You win.”
Atlas stood, incredulous. “No. That is not allowed. I did not win. You lost! Those are not the same!”
Vic turned to Keiji and Donna and then noticed that the fight had taken them about 30 yards from where they started. He started to walk back towards them, and Atlas followed.
“Guys, I yielded that fight. Doesn’t that mean I lost?”
Keiji raised an eyebrow. “I guess?”
“See? Congrats, you won.”
“... I do not accept this victory. This is a loss in all but name. Mark my words, Victor Stone. I will wander the globe, facing foe after foe to grow stronger. I will become the strongest being and when I do, we will have a real fight, one where you must acknowledge my strength for real.”
“Looking forwards to it. Stay out of trouble until then, understood?”
Vic held out his hand for a handshake which Atlas begrudgingly accepted.
“Understood.”
“Atlas, catch.”
Keiji tossed a small flash drive to Atlas who had to bend down to grab it.
“That has all your schematics and drawings on it, as well as all the parts we used to make you and where we sourced them from. It’s probably the best thing out there to help you repair yourself.”
“Thank you. You all have given me much to think about it. When we meet again… I will be stronger in body and mind. Farewell for now but I will return to challenge you again, Victor.”
“I’ll be waiting. And I promise to go all out next time, Atlas.”
Atlas took off to the west, heading to only he knew where.
Once he was far enough out of sight, Vic laid down on the ground, exhausted.
“Well, that’s enough bluffing for the next decade. I really underestimated him.”
Donna sat down to his left, Keiji on his right.
“Told you that you were being cocky. We all built him but he’s out of all of our leagues,” Keiji said.
“Yeah… but I really wanted to do it, y’know? Kinda humbling to be beat by your own creation.”
“If it makes you feel better, I lost to him too,” Donna said.
“Wait what? When did you fight him?”
“I’ll tell you on the way back. Not my finest moment, but I put up a good fight.”
“Proud of you. You’ve come a long way in your training. But after that fight… I’m going to need to get a lot stronger and pick my own training back up. I kinda feel like I’ve been stagnant for awhile, just sort of winning my fights through grit and will power. But if Atlas had been hostile… I don’t think I could’ve stopped him. So, I’ll need to get back to the drawing board and see what I can do to take myself to the next level.”
“And we’ll be there to help you however we can. But uh… Vic, finals are in like two weeks. Maybe focus on that first?” Keiji suggested.
“I’d rather get beat up by another robot,” Vic groaned.
<< < >

Hello!
As a younger person, I was very into makeup. Wore it daily for work and at home. Enjoyed playing with it, finding new products, etc. I was good at applying it.
I'm much older now (65) and haven't worn any, at all, in many years. Mostly because I now WFH full time since the pandemic and there's no reason for it. Before that, I'd only use foundation and mascara daily when in the office. Very basic routine. None of the women in my office were really wearing a lot of makeup anymore. Seems to have gone out of favor to really glam it up on the daily. Anything I have on hand is long expired (note to self - toss all of it!).
As I'm aging my eyesight gets worse year by year and I can't apply it with glasses on (I won't do contacts) and I've tried using a magnifying mirror but that's not working for me either.
Also my eyes are more sensitive now Last time I tried wearing mascara they were tearing up badly and that was even with using a hypo-allergenic brand.
I don't mind going without in daily life but I have a wedding to attend in a few months and certainly intend to wear it for that event. But I have NO idea where to even start.
Could use recommendations from older women here that are good for sensitive skin. Foundation, shadow, mascara. Not into wearing eye liner (I'd screw it up anyway). Lipstick I can manage on my own - that's easy. Price isn't an issue. In the past I really liked Estee Lauder foundations a lot, Lancome mascara and Chanel for eyeshadows. Open to any and all suggestions!

“Ready to make history, baby?”
I looked over toward Sheila as she stood on the gangplank leading up to The Burger. I still couldn’t believe she named our research ship ‘The Burger’... emotional relevance be damned.
“It's not exactly history,” I corrected.
“Oh come on! If your survey is right, this trench might run even deeper than the Challenger Deep, and you’re gonna be the first person to explore it! How is that not exciting?”
“Might be deeper, we only have a limited amount of topological data. And even if it is deeper, we’re talking only a few hundred feet at most, it’s really not that im-”
Sheila silenced me with a kiss.
“Nerd.” She teased, and I found myself too flustered to reply. After five years of marriage, she still could leave me speechless with just a kiss. God… how did someone like me end up with a woman like that?
Then again, how did someone like me end up where I was in general? It was honestly a little overwhelming. Standing on the dock, getting ready to board that ship and join the ranks of Jacques Piccard and James Cameron (yes, that James Cameron) as one of the few people to take a manned submersible down to the deepest parts of the ocean. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared too. Diving down that deep could easily be a one way trip if even the slightest thing went wrong. My submarine would be experiencing between 600 to 1100 atmospheres of pressure and while we’d tested it over and over again to make sure it would actually be up for the challenge, there was still a lingering iota of doubt in the back of my mind. All that needed to go wrong was one little thing, and that would be it for me.
The scariest part is that I probably wouldn’t even know what had happened… I’d simply be gone… and Sheila would be alone. The thought of that caused a momentary spike of panic in my chest that almost made me want to call this whole thing off.
Almost.
But, then I felt her hand close around mine. I looked up into her bright blue eyes, and saw her gentle smile.
“You’re gonna be okay, hun,” She promised. “You and your team have been running the numbers, right? It’s gonna go just fine!”
I nodded slowly.
“It’s gonna go fine…” I repeated, before she leaned in to kiss me, and gently pulled me by the wrist up onto the deck of the Burger.
She was probably right.
It probably would be fine.
Probably…
The trench I’d be exploring was a fairly recent discovery, located south of Greenland, in a vast stretch of water situated directly between Newfoundland and Iceland. It’d been uncovered during a topological survey in the area, and my team had taken an interest in investigating it further. At minimum, it was believed to descend to about 35,000 feet deep (over 10,000 meters), although the current theory was that it might have run even deeper. Determining the exact depth of the yet unnamed chasm was just one of the intents of our dive. The rest was studying the organisms that might be found down there, and how they might have differed from the ones found in other deep ocean trenches (some variation being expected given the isolated environment they were developing in.)
I had to admit, it would be exciting to see what new life might have developed in a place such as this, especially if it ran even deeper than our predictions… and that excitement was enough to make me chase the fear of the risks out of my mind, even if it was only briefly. While Sheila went to make sure we were ready to embark, I caught myself wandering out toward the rear of the ship where my submarine, The Tempura, waited for me. Did this submarine deserve a better name than The Tempura? Probably. But, this was my project, so I got to name it and since Burger was already taken, Tempura was the next best name I had. I liked to think that the subs namesake might approve… if she hadn’t died fifteen years ago. Shrimp don’t live very long.
As the ship began to depart, I caught myself reminiscing on how I’d ended up here… it really was all because of those damn shrimp, wasn’t it? Well… maybe not all because of the shrimp. But they were certainly part of it. Back when I was a lot younger, I never really gave much of a shit about anything at all. I guess I did have a thing for the ocean… the great, romantic vastness of it. The sense of adventure that it beckoned with. The endless mysteries that lay within its dark depths. I used to read about it all the time when I was a kid and I especially loved the classic adventures: Verne’s 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, and Melville’s Moby Dick… but that love was just confined to my books. I didn’t really have any interest in actually going out and seeing the ocean. Hell, the idea of going to a beach and standing in the sun with my toes in the sand seemed miserable to me. I was happier (although calling myself happy might’ve been a little disingenuous) alone in my room, enjoying the company of books as opposed to people.
Then came the shrimp.
One of my online friends kept them as a hobby. He used to post pictures of his tanks all the time, and I always thought they looked kinda cool. He said that if I was interested in them, I should try keeping some for myself, and during a particularly bad bout of depression, I figured that maybe it might be worth a shot. So, I bought a cheap tank and some cheap decorations, bought myself some shrimp… and promptly watched them die over the next few weeks. That… that bothered me. I don’t know why but… it really bothered me. I’m still not entirely sure how to describe what it was that I was feeling. Guilt? Defeat? Shame? Here I was, trying to set up a habitat for these creatures just to have something to do to keep the suicidal ideation at bay, and I’d failed almost right out of the gate.
Was I just that bad? Was I just that much of a failure? Was this just going to go to shit just like everything else in my life did, because I was just such an abysmal piece of shit who barely deserved the life she had? Had I just not tried hard enough? Was I too apathetic? What had happened? What went wrong?
It bothered me.
It bothered me enough that I made up my mind to just dump the remaining shrimp down the toilet and toss everything. Forget about it. Move on. End of story. But… that wasn’t fair, was it? The shrimp didn’t all deserve to die just because I couldn’t be bothered, did they? Sure, they were just shrimp, but they were alive too, just like me. They deserved to be alive.
I owed it to them to try and keep them alive, didn’t I?
So… I didn’t dump the shrimp.
Instead, I started doing some reading. Started looking into what I was doing wrong and how to do it all better. I actually got really into it and a few months later, I had a nice planted tank. Looking back, it was amateur shit… but it made me happy. I’d even picked out names for my two favorite shrimp. Burger and Tempura. They’d been the last survivors of my original batch, and they were the ones I ended up caring about the most. Caring for Burger and Tempura gave me a purpose. It became an obsession… and that little obsession drove me to finally start turning my life around.
Like I said, shrimp don’t live for very long. Burger and Tempura were long dead by the time I graduated with a degree in Marine Biology. But they were the ones who inspired me to finally get my life in order. Hell, the shrimp were half the reason that I met Sheila. She was something of an aquarium fanatic too… we’d met on a forum, and gotten to talking. I found out that she just so happened to be studying Marine Biology at another school, and we bonded pretty quickly after that. After graduation, I moved to California to be with her and after that, the rest is history. She was my rock. She was the one who always pushed me to be the best possible version of myself… and I loved her more than I ever knew I could love someone.
A glance back at the shore, fading into the distance tore me out of my reminiscing, and I shifted my focus to the present, going over The Tempura to perform some quick checks. My colleagues and I would be checking and rechecking the submarine over the next two days as we made our way toward the dive spot. Considering the danger that descending that deep posed, I didn’t want to take a single unnecessary risk.
I had too much to live for, after all.
***
The day of the dive, I couldn’t notice how excited the rest of the crew seemed… well… Sheila’s usual crew seemed excited. I guess to them, this was just another research expedition, no different than the ones Sheila usually took this ship out on. Lately her research had been focused on the analysis and study of whale calls. Her recent voyages had involved following their pods, recording their calls and playing them back to see how the whales reacted. It was fascinating stuff, but my research was admittedly a lot different than that.
My obsession had drawn me to the denizens of the deep sea. I’d used The Burger for expeditions before, although none of them had been on quite the same scale as this one. Up until today, the most ambitious thing I’d done was send down unmanned submersibles with cameras. Those submersibles had typically returned. We had lost a few early on due to technical glitches, but the past few years had been blissfully uneventful. Logically, this dive would probably be uneventful as well. But it was still hard to get the jitters out of my head.
My team and I did the final checks necessary to make sure that The Tempura was good to go, before setting up the crane to begin lifting it up. In less than an hour, I’d be inside of that thing, descending to the darkest depths of the ocean.
It didn’t feel real.
I felt Sheila’s hand on my shoulder, and looked over at her.
“Moment of truth, huh?” She asked. She probably meant it to sound encouraging, but it just sounded ominous.
“Moment of truth…” I replied.
“You’re gonna be okay, honey. I know you will.”
She reached out to gently squeeze my hand and gave me a reassuring smile that I meekly returned.
“Yeah, it’s gonna be okay,” I agreed, although there was an element of a lie in it. Statistically, yes. It probably WOULD be okay. But there was that lingering anxiety in the back of my mind that just wouldn’t go away. I looked quietly out at the submarine before me and couldn’t shake the thought that it sort of looked like a giant coffin. Unconsciously, I found myself squeezing Sheila’s hand tighter than normal. She just held me close and pressed a kiss to the top of my head, before gently rubbing my back.
“You’ll be okay,” She promised.
“Dr. Jenner, we’re ready for you.” I heard one of my colleagues say.
Moment of truth.
I took one last look at Sheila, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips for luck. She smiled at me, and I smiled back anxiously at her before heading over toward the submarine.
The crew helped me enter the cockpit and get myself situated inside. The cockpit of the Tempura was fairly cramped and not particularly comfortable. Space and comfort aren’t really luxuries you can afford in a submarine like this. The instruments I needed took up a lot of space, leaving little room for me in there… and I am not a very big person.
Once I was inside, they sealed the hatch. Then the diagnostics checks began.
“Grayson, can you hear us in there?” I heard Sheila say through the radio.
“Loud and clear,” I replied.
“Great. We’ll keep in constant radio contact, just to monitor the signal. In the meanwhile, how’s everything looking in there?”
“Green across the board so far,” I said, although I hadn’t finished running all my final checks yet. Ultimately, nothing was out of place.
This submarine was as good to go as it was going to get.
“I’m all good in here,” I said once I was done. “You can drop me when you’re ready.”
“You got it, honey. Let’s get you in the water, run one final round of tests and start lowering you down.”
A short while later, I felt the submarine begin to move as the crane lifted it off the deck and lowered it into the water. The Tempura honestly resembled its namesake in a way, being long and cigar shaped, only vertically oriented instead of horizontally oriented. We’d admittedly taken more than a few design cues from James Cameron’s Deepsea Challenger. Why fix what isn’t broken, after all?
Once I was in the water, a 1000 pound releasable ballast weight would cause the submarine to sink. Releasing that weight was also my ticket back to the surface, and I could either trigger it from inside the cockpit, or, in the event that the release failed for any reason, it would trigger automatically after roughly 12 hours of exposure to salt water.
Ideally, this would be the first of a number of dives I’d be undertaking… and if all went according to plan, the Tempura could be the first of many similar submarines that would allow other researchers to safely and effectively descend to extreme depths. If all went well, this could be a massive leap forward for researchers like me, allowing us to better explore the deepest depths of the Hadal Zone and learn all we could about the ecosystems down there via direct observation.
If all went well.
If.
Through the viewport, I watched as I was lowered into the ocean. A few of the other crew members had donned diving gear to escort me down, and after they did their final checks and I did mine, we were fully ready to go.
“All’s green across the board,” I said into the radio. “You can start my descent.”
“I hear you, honey,” Sheila replied. “We’re letting you go. Have fun down there.”
“Yeah, I’ll try…” I said quietly as finally, my submarine began its descent.
I took a deep breath, and told myself again that everything would go fine. We had checked everything on this submarine. We’d tested it rigorously. I wouldn’t have allowed myself to set foot inside of it if I hadn’t personally assured that it was safe. But anxiety never really goes away, does it? The crew couldn’t accompany me far. After only a few meters, they fell behind me as I sank deeper and deeper into the infinite, empty blue of the ocean. Soon after, the tether was released.
I was officially on my own.
“60 feet,” I heard Sheila say over the radio. “How are you doing in there?”
“Good,” I replied. “Doing… doing good.”
The submarine continued to descend. Through the viewport, I could see a few stray fish, but nothing particularly eye catching. I almost felt alone down there… almost…
“120 feet…” Sheila said.
“Still doing good,” I replied.
The descent continued, as the waters slowly grew darker and darker.
“400 feet…”
Everything around me just kept getting darker and darker. Only a fraction of the light from the sun ever reached these depths… and I’d be lying if I said that darkness didn’t feel a little… oppressive.
“800 feet… still feeling good?”
“Yeah, still feeling good…” I said, although it was a bit of a lie. If anything, I was second guessing all of this, but I wasn’t about to say that out loud.
“1000 feet… still good?”
“Still good…” I murmured. “I hear you loud and clear.”
Deeper… deeper… deeper.
“1500 feet…”
Three miles. I was three miles away from home. Three miles away from Sheila.
“2000 feet…”
Still a ways to go.
“3000 feet…”
By this point, it was fully dark outside of my cockpit. Outside, all I could see was inky darkness. Even the submarine’s lights didn’t really cut through it. And the kicker? Relatively speaking, I wasn’t that deep. Fishing trawlers reached deeper than this. Better to conserve power until I was at the bottom. My descent continued.
“6000 feet… still good?”
“Still good…”
The check ins were becoming less frequent. My descent still continued… deeper… deeper… deeper. By now, I’d entered the Hadal Zone. But there was still so much deeper o go.
“8000 feet…”
This was past the depths that most whales would dive to… and I still had a ways to go.
“10,000 feet.”
This was close to where the ocean floor usually bottomed out… and yet there was still so much further to go. No. I was really only a third of the way there. How long had it been?Not much had happened beyond my descent and a few sightings out of my viewport, but time had been passing. A glance at my watch confirmed it’d been almost an hour since I’d started to sink… and I knew I wasn’t even close to the bottom yet. The submarine continued to descend, sinking ever deeper as I dropped into an infinite darkness that few had ever dared to witness.
“15,000 feet.”
This check in came later than the others. At this point, Sheila and the crew must have figured that no news was good news, and they were right. I just continued to sink peacefully, down into the crushing depths of the ocean.
These were the depths that one might normally find deep sea fish… and yet I was going somewhere even deeper than that.
“20,000 feet…”
So close…
I continued to sink.
“25,000 feet.”
Soon… and finally…
“30,000 feet. You still doing alright, honey?”
“Yeah… yeah, I’m doing good,” I assured her. I was so close…
By this point, my real work had begun. I’d engaged the lights and begun documenting what little I could see using the on board cameras. Granted, there wasn’t much life at these depths and what little there was, was scarcely documented. Most of what was down here consisted of invertebrates and microscopic life that seemed to float past my viewport.
The light seemed to draw a few creatures in search of food. Small, hardy things that resembled shrimp.
“How’s it looking, Grayson?”
“Dark,” I said, half joking. “We’ve got some life… shrimp. They’re translucent. Can’t get a great look at them… but we’ll see what the cameras pick up.”
“They’ve recognized you as a friend,” Sheila said. I could almost see the smile on her lips as she said it.
“Yeah…” I replied, “Tempura sent them a message, told them I’d be down. How am I looking on depth?”
“35,000 feet… you seeing a bottom yet?”
“No… not that I would until I was there.”
“Damn… how deep does this go?”
“It can’t go that deep…” I murmured, although I really wasn’t so sure about that.
The submarine continued to sink…
36,000 feet…
37,000 feet…
38,000 feet… and then finally, just past the 39,000 foot mark, I finally saw solid ground below me.
Looking through my viewport, I could see a familiar dark brown diatomaceous sludge, covering the seafloor. Microscopic life, likely similar to what had been observed in other deep sea trenches, such as the Challenger Deep.
I needed to gather a sample.
As my submarine reached the bottom, I extended the mechanical arms, pressed flat against the surface of the Tempura, and opened the collection port near the bottom of the ship. Slowly, I sifted some of the sludge into the port. My disturbance of the seafloor kicked up a cloud of the microbial colony, and I could’ve sworn I saw something wiggling through the debris. A pale, white thing, perhaps some sort of sea cucumber? I hastily angled my submarines camera to try and catch a glimpse of it, before returning to my collection. Even in this forlorn place, there was still so much to see! And here I was… completely forgetting my fear as the excitement took hold of me! Few people had ever been down to these unfathomable depths… and yet here I was.
It didn’t feel real but it was! I had reached the deepest part of the ocean!
“How’s it going down there?” I heard Sheila ask. Her voice was a little garbled. The connection down here was faltering.
“It’s beautiful…” I said. “I can’t wait for you to see it!”
“I’ll bet…”
“I’m going to do a sweep of the area, see what samples I can gather,” I said. “What’s my time right now?”
“Three hours. You’ve got nine before your connection to the weight deteriorates and you start to ascend.”
“I’ll make the most of it,” I said. The plan was only to stay down there for six hours, and I didn’t want to push that limit. Life support would only last me for so long, and one little error was all it would take for the ungodly pressure down here to crush me.
I began to move the submarine. Mobility was limited. This thing wasn’t built to travel far. But I still had some limited movement. I recorded all that I could, filming the shrimp that investigated my light, and the things that slithered and crawled through the muck, likely feeding on the carpet of single celled organisms that populated these depths.
The first two hours were… well… I hesitate to call them uneventful, they were actually very fascinating, but little of note happened beyond my recording of a few specimens.
Midway through the third hour though, as I was reaching one of the rock walls of the abyss, I noticed something just above the edge of my viewport swimming away from the light. I could’ve sworn I saw slender, pale tentacles of some sort. Was that a squid? Were there squid down this deep? I wasn’t aware of any species of known squid who could reach these depths… but in this unknown place, what use was the known?
I moved my light and my camera to try and catch another glimpse of it, but whatever it was, it seemed to be gone. Maybe I’d see another one. I still had plenty of time.
“You made a noise. What’d you see?” Sheila asked.
“Something big… I think,” I said.
“Down there? Like a fish?”
“Squid. You wouldn’t find any vertebrates down this deep… the pressure would crush their bones.”
“Jeez…”
I didn’t reply to that, still searching for the thing I’d seen. I shone my light up along the walls of the chasm and angled my camera up as far as it would go. I could see a few volcanic vents, spewing dark clouds into the darkness, and more diatoms. But not much else. Strange invertebrates crawled along the walls. Small creatures, no bigger than an inch long. Related to isopods, perhaps? If I could collect one as a sample, I would have… although taking any of those back to the surface would surely kill them. They were built to live under the impossible pressure of these depths. Taking them to the surface would rip them apart.
I went back to my research, and it wasn’t long until I saw something in the darkness, just on the edge of where my flashlight reached. Trailing white tendrils, snaking their way through the darkness. My eyes narrowed as I moved the submarine forward, trying to catch whatever it was in the light. I saw the shape move, its body turning… I saw its tendrils unfurling. Whatever this was, it was big. It was almost as big as The Tempura… although it was also slender. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought I was looking at some sort of floating debris, but this far down? No. And debris wouldn’t move like that.
This had to be a deepsea squid… or perhaps some other type of cephalopod? Something that preyed upon the various invertebrates down here, perhaps? It seemed to float, just out of sight for a bit, as I tried to get closer. I angled up my light to get a better look at it. The light seemed to shine through it, like some sort of ghost… but I did manage to get a look at it.
Although that look…
That single look made me freeze up.
This things slender tendrils certainly resembled a cephalopod of some sort, but the rest of it… the rest of it looked like something else entirely. Its body was thin, emaciated and translucent, yet despite that it still had characteristics that almost seemed… human. It wasn’t human! Not by any stretch of imagination, but the resemblance was there. It almost reminded me of an exhibit I’d seen in a museum once, depicting a preserved, fully removed human nervous system. I could see a similar shape in its translucent body. Its head seemed almost human as well… albeit with no eyes, and a lamprey like mouth I could only describe as fleshy yet crablike.
Still, despite having no eyes I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was looking at me. And that was when I felt something hit the submarine.
I felt a sudden jolt of panic in my chest. For a moment, I thought that the pressure had started to crush me, but no… no, everything was still fine. Something had just hit me. But what? It didn’t take long before I got my answer.
Another pale creature floated past my viewport, swirling gracefully in the cold dark waters. I watched it for a moment with wide eyes, before noticing its ‘head’ turning slightly toward me. Then, almost instantly, it launched itself at the submarine, darting toward me with blinding speed.
I heard a distinct THUD as its body collided with me, and I could see its pale tendrils pressing against the viewport, twisting and writhing violently. It was trying to attack me. The first creature that I’d seen lunged as well, pounding on my submarine with another THUD. And moments later, I could hear more impacts against the hull. There were more of them… and they did not like having me down there.
“What’s going on?” Sheila asked.
“Somebody doesn’t like me…” I said. “One of the animals down here… some kind of squid, it’s just started attacking the hull.”
“How bad is the damage?”
“Not sure… could be nothing, could be-”
I felt the submarine shake as I tried to move it. The thrusters that pushed me forward weren't responding. Had something gotten caught in it? One of the creatures perhaps?
“Grayson?!” Sheila asked.
“Lost propulsion…” I said. “Fuck… I can’t move.”
“Then drop the weight and come up!”
“No, it’s fine, there’s no other damage, I can still use the port and starboard thrusters to-”
“Grayson!”
I paused. There was genuine panic in her voice… enough to make me realize that even if these things stood little chance of actually breaching the hull, taking the risk would be a fatal mistake.
“I’m on my way up…” I finally said, before reaching out to disengage the ballast weights.
Immediately, I felt myself beginning to rise, although the tentacles clinging to my viewport didn’t disappear.
“We’ve got you…” Sheila said. “Rising up to 38,000 feet.”
The submarine continued to rise, but the creatures clinging to me went nowhere. In fact… I was sure I could see more of them. More pale shapes coming up through the darkness, and these ones filled me with dread. I thought I had been looking at some sort of eerie undiscovered life. But seeing what was coming up toward me now… I knew that I was looking at so much more. The creatures swimming up toward me through the darkness carried weapons… makeshift stone spears and daggers. Primitive tools… but tools all the same.
Signs that these were more than just undiscovered animals.
Much. Much more.
The word: ‘Mermaids’ crossed through my mind, but these were something far different than the ones I’d heard of in folklore. These looked like they’d swam out of the depths of hell itself. Boneless pale tendrils reached for me… and they were getting closer. The pale shapes reached my submarine as I rose higher. I kept praying to whatever God may be listening that the dropping pressure would force them off. The air in a submarine is pressurized, so during normal operation, there should have been no danger of decompression sickness for me.
For them… well… normally I’d feel a little guilty about subjecting an undiscovered species of deep sea mermaids to the horrors of the Bends. But given my circumstances, I didn’t have a lot of other options.
They didn’t let go, though.
They should have. But they didn’t.
What were these things?
I saw a splayed hand press against my viewport. Or… it somewhat resembled a hand. It had suckers on it, like a tentacle and the ‘fingers’ curled open like tentacles. The creature crawled over my viewport, clinging to The Tempura as it rose, and I could see the folds of its crablike mouth opening and pressing against the glass. I could see some sort of bile rising up through its translucent throat, before it secreted it all over my viewport. Was it trying to digest me? Was that how these things fed? How strong were its stomach acids? Were they strong enough to-
The window cracked.
My heart skipped a beat.
“No… no, no no…”
“Grayson, what’s wrong?!”
“They cracked the window… S-Sheila they… oh God… oh fuck, they just…”
“THEY DID WHAT?”
“It’s secreting some sort of enzyme… it’s on the window, it’s… FUCK… I’m gonna die… I’m gonna die… I’m gonna die…”
“You’re not gonna die, baby! Just… just keep ascending, okay? You’re at 30,000 feet… just keep going…”
I nodded, and kept on rising, although the question of whether or not the rest of the creatures were trying to digest the other parts of my submarine floated through my mind. How much damage could The Tempura take before it imploded? How much longer did I have? The submarine still continued to rise… 25,000 feet… almost halfway home… almost… almost.
The creature outside of my viewport slithered along the glass, searching for a better area to try and digest. Past him, I noticed a few of his companions dropping off. Maybe the change in pressure finally was getting to them?
From the corner of my eye, I suddenly noticed a flashing light. A warning. The hydraulics on one of the Tempura’s arms were shot… what else was damaged?
I checked my oxygen levels. 32%.
I should’ve had at least 14 hours of air. I’d only been down there for about 6 hours… I shouldn’t have been this low.
31%.
No… no, no, no, no… they’d damaged the air tanks!
30%.
29%
“20,000 feet!” Sheila said. “You still with me, baby?”
“Y-yeah…” I said. I didn’t mention my air situation. I didn’t need to worry her further.
The submarine continued its ascent.
15,000 feet.
24%. I was running out of time.
The creatures still clung to the Tempura. How had the pressure change not killed them yet? My oxygen was dropping faster than before. I was hemorrhaging air. Another crack formed across my viewport. I let out a little, involuntary gasp before trying to force myself to stop hyperventilating.
“Grayson, what was that?”
“I-it’s fine…” I stammered, “It’s fine!”
“Grayson what the hell is going on down there?!”
“They’re still on the submarine… they’re still…” I paused, looking at my oxygen levels. “19%...”
“19% of what? Grayson what’s going on!”
I paused.
18%.
“Air… I’m… I’m losing air…”
“That’s fine, you’re going to make it!” She said, although I heard her voice cracking a little. “You’re gonna make it!”
I didn’t answer.
12,000 feet.
11,000 feet…
My oxygen level continued to drop.
15%.
14%.
12%.
9,000 feet.
The creatures still clung to me, as the submarine continued to rise. The one on my viewport was still there, slowly crawling along the glass again. I stared into its eyeless face and swore I was looking at the face of my killer.
7,000 feet…
Oxygen had dropped to 9%. It dropped to 8% before I even got to 6,000 feet. I was going to die here…
The viewport cracked again and I squeezed my eyes shut. The submarine rocked. I was sure one of the thrusters had been damaged. My ascent slowed.
“Grayson, what’s going on?”
“I’m sorry Sheila…”
Another crack spread across my viewport.
“I’m… I’m not making it back up…”
“YES YOU ARE!”
“I’m sorry…” The tears started to come as the reality of my death became clearer and clearer… this was it.
“YOU’RE COMING BACK UP, YOU HEAR ME! GODDAMNIT, I’LL BRING YOU BACK UP!”
“I love you…”
That creatures face pressed against the glass. It vomited more of its stomach acid onto the cracked glass, and I wondered if this might finally be what broke it. Part of me hoped it would be… the one good thing about dying this deep was that at least I’d die quickly. My suffering would be over. Then, the creature suddenly pulled back, twisting and writhing violently. I saw other shapes moving past it in the water, other ‘mermaids’ that had been clinging to the submarine.
Something was agitating them.
Something was scaring them off.
Then I heard it, over the radio… whale songs.
“What the hell…?”
“Grayson, are you still there?!”
“I… they’re finally breaking off. Sheila, what did you do?”
“I’m broadcasting some of the orca recordings we’ve been using. Are they still clinging to you?”
“No! They’re backing off! I… whatever you’re doing, keep doing it!”
The submarine kept rising.
5,000 feet.
4,000 feet.
4% oxygen.
I could still do this, right?
The submarine continued to rise.
3%.
3,000 feet.
2,000 feet.
2%.
1,000 feet… so close… I was so close…
I could almost see the surface through my viewport, rushing up toward me. I tried not to breathe. Tried not to move. All I did was hope.
500 feet.
I closed my eyes.
“Grayson we have your signal, we’re coming to pick you up!”
Sheila’s voice sounded so far away as my submarine finally breached the surface of the water… and with the last of my strength, I pulled the emergency release on the hatch, and threw it open, taking in lungful after lungful of fresh salty air.
I didn’t dare so much as touch the water beneath me… but I was topside again, and in the distance, I could see The Burger!
“We see you!” Sheila said, “We’ve got you baby… we’ve got you…”
“I see you too…” I said through the tears. “Thank you… thank you…” I didn’t have any words left in me after that.
As soon as I was back on the ship, I collapsed into Sheila’s arms, breaking down into tears as I clung to her, terrified that at any moment, some sort of unspoken other shoe would drop and I’d lose her all over again.
“Shh… it’s alright baby… I’ve got you… you’re safe… you’re safe…” I felt her fingers running through my air and I knew that what she said was true.
I was home.
I was safe.
***
I left my colleagues to review the data that the Tempura gathered during its short expedition. As far as I know, they haven’t published anything. I have a few ideas as to why, but I’ll keep those to myself. Let’s just say that some people would rather this information not become public.
I have a feeling that the Tempura may not be diving again for some time, if ever. I will confess that I do consider that a bit of a shame. Despite everything… I would consider it a success. It endured far more stressful conditions than I had expected, and from what I heard, required fewer repairs than I’d thought it would. But, even if it was approved for another dive, it wouldn’t be me piloting it. No. I will never be setting foot inside of that machine again, nor will I ever be returning to what my colleagues have been quietly referring to as ‘The Jenner Trench’.
I can’t.
Every night, I wake up crying after dreaming of pale shapes outside of my cracked viewport, clinging to Sheila and sobbing. I can’t put myself in that situation again.
I can’t.
Instead, I think I’m going to spend the next few years on solid ground. There’s a teaching position available at a local university. I think that might be the best place for me right now. Who knows, maybe I can help some other deadbeat discover a passion for marine biology.
After everything, my love for the sea remains unchanged… I’m just a little more wary of it, these days.

My best friend told me we couldn’t be friends right now because I’m at the point In my pregnancy where I’m a “bitch” and she doesn’t want to jeopardize us getting into a fight and her not being able to see my son after he’s born. Some back story because it’s needed: I lost my first baby when I was 35 weeks pregnant, he was born sleeping. I gave birth to him the day after they told me there was no heart beat. When I gave birth to him I was alone in the hospital, nobody there with me until 45 minutes after. They kept my son for 5 hours trying to figure out what happened to him and couldn’t find anything. Once they brought him back to me they only let me hold him for an hour before having to take him back. It was traumatizing, every second, I was 21 and it sent me down a really bad path. I didn’t want to live, I drank, I smoked, I snorted, I parachuted, I did anything I could to try and numb my pain. Nothing worked. My best friend tried to be there for me until I started doing the things I was doing then she was nowhere to be found. I fell in love with a man who made me feel again 2 years later. He made me happy with no drugs or drinking. So I cold turked everything and moved to his state with him. She was against it, she was mad at me for moving away. I was happy, I felt loved, I felt like everything was going to be okay. I got pregnant 3 months in. I was so scared!! I lashed out on him, he didn’t understand my pain, but he was there for me every step of the way. I wasn’t nice to anyone while I was pregnant, if you said one thing wrong I would explode. It was a horrible pregnancy not only for me but for those who loved me as well.* My best friend and I got into a couple fights but she was pregnant with her daughter when I gave birth to my son so she couldn’t make it up to meet him. Fast forward 3 years and I was about to give birth to my daughter, (my best friend married my brother and they have 2 kids) I told my brother that if they wanted to come up and see my daughter before she was 6 months they needed to get the tdap shot. She blew up about it saying it’s bullshit and she shouldn’t have to do it and that it’s messed up I’m even asking them to. So I said that’s fine you just won’t see my daughter until after she’s 6 months. (My kid my rules) (I did the same thing for my son as well) whatever right? I didn’t make it into a big thing but she did. I’m pregnant right now with a little boy and I’m due 2 weeks after the birthday of my first son. I’m not in a good head space. I will be giving birth 1 week after the birthday of my first son (the doctors won’t let me go full term but will let me get to 39 weeks before inducing) my head is all over the place, I hate myself, I have so many things in my head but I keep it all to myself. I don’t lash out on anyone and I’ve been keeping to my self since my bestfriend said we couldn’t be friends right now because I’m at the point in my pregnancy that I’m a bitch and she doesn’t want to jeopardize not being able to see my son when he’s born. But at this point it really hurts me because I feel like this is the time I need my people. My second sons birthday is in March, my daughters birthday is in February my first sons birthday is in July and that’s when I’m due. I’ve never had to do this, it’s just so close to his birthday and on those days I’m usually a complete mess and I don’t do anything and now I’m supposed to give birth a week later and I don’t have my so called bestfriend anymore because I’m a “bitch” when I’m this far into my pregnancy? (She said that to me when I was 28 weeks I’m now 31 weeks) I feel like it’s understandable that I’m not the best pregnant person when I get this far… but I’m not lashing out on anyone I’ve been keeping to myself. So I honestly don’t know why she said that to me. My pregnancy with my daughter I wasn’t mean to anyone. But at this point I feel like I’m not going to invite her to come after my son is born because if you can’t be there for me through this really fucking hard time why do you get to see the amazing thing I create? Am I in the wrong? I’m sorry this post is all over the place, pregnancy brain is crazy. Thank you to whoever reads everything and can understand my rambling.

We’ve only been married for about a year. Never lived together fully, LDR and closing gap fully by next year.
So for context earlier yesterday, we had an argument because he had come home from work talking about a car that he wanted to get but I brought up my concerns about how he tends to have too many drinks and drives.
He usually will have about three drinks maximum, but I still feel that that’s too many. I even asked him if he would let me drive after three drinks and he said no I told him that’s a double standard and unfair that it only highlights that three drinks too many I told him I don’t trust him when he does this and that I don’t feel safe in his car when he’s inebriated, even after only a few drinks.
He proceeded to get really upset with me even physically pull away from me when I said that. He left the room to go answer the door because someone rang the doorbell. It was a random sales lady, trying to talk about contracting work for homes in the area she sounded younger and they had a really nice chatty conversation with laughing and everything while I was in his room crying in his bed still.
I confronted him about that and he said that he was just trying to be polite and used a tone saying “what am I supposed to do not be polite? “. They even toward the main floor of the house even though it’s not his house it’s his moms. She gave him his card, but he didn’t really say much about her when he came in the room.
We talked about it, and he broke down, crying about how everyone in his life judges him, including his family about his actions, and that he never feels like he can achieve or do good enough in other people’s eyes. I felt bad seeing him break down so we made up and decided to have a good night. He told me he would work on his drinking and be mindful to only have one beer if we do go out.
That night I decided we needed to connect a bit more physically, so I thought I would treat him to a BJ. Granted I do or are used to give him lots of BJs. I’ve stopped enjoying them as much because I find that he doesn’t ever reciprocate for me and I and I rarely get to cum now. He always finish his first and then we go to sleep. The times I have came. I had to basically nag him to go down on me by asking if he actually enjoyed it to what he said “of course! I love it “.
Well, yesterday he went down there for about half a second. After blowing him for a bit I decided to get on top and have sex. I was riding for a bit and then he said he was about to finish so I got off I blew them again but this time he was close to finishing so he decided to hold my head and my neck close to his penis, and then proceeded to come all over the side of my face.
He never asked me if this was OK before hand, and he never really gave me a heads up. He just held me they’re finished and out of spite I decided to wipe it all across his body because I was upset.
I didn’t say anything afterwards, but he laid there and said “oh you should cum too” But never actually did anything to me. I decided to get myself a quick orgasm and play it off like it doesn’t bother me.
This has been an ongoing issue, where sometimes, if I coach him and hold his hand through the entire thing, I can manage to have a good sexual encounter, but most of the time it feels like a porn actor performing for him, and essentially not getting anything in return. I feel disconnected from him and sometimes I have to think about other things in order to be turned on because I get anxious thinking about what will inevitably happen if I do engage with him sexually.
I’ve tried to talk to him about this before, but a lot of the time I met with he feels judged, I’m over, thinking it, or he’ll be super apologetic, but then it will happen again.
My best friend tells me that these are all major red flags in my marriage and I’ve even suggested to him in the past to go to therapy but he completely denied that and said we don’t need that.
We’re currently in the process of my visa and I have about maybe a year or less until I’m expected to move down to the US. I’d be leaving my job, my friends and most of my family behind for this man. I am very scared that I will be making the wrong move if things continue to go this way. I’m worried that I’m sacrificing everything for someone who isn’t willing to even listen to some of my concerns.
I’d like some advice on this and maybe even show him this thread because I don’t know what else to do.
TLDR; Husband drinks and drives, came on my face without asking, and generally shuts down when we have discussions or arguments. How can I get him to listen?

I've never had a good opportunity to sit down and do a run through TTWL. I'd played a couple hours in the past, but never really made it the game I was going to play. Well, I've now spent about two weeks playing it in my spare time. I'm at or just after the Wastard boss fight, which is pretty close to the end of the main story. I've been doing some side quests, but I've wanted to unlock gear slots so I've been sticking to the main quest.
Overall, I am having fun. The good:

1. The game is fun. The enemies are fun to fight. Flying enemies are a bit annoying, but they're kept pretty rare. I like how chaotic combat feels.
2. I like that they made melee combat repeat by holding the button down. You don't have to mash that button anymore. 100% that should always be there going forward.
3. I like the idea of armor, rings, amulets, and melee weapons being drops. That's cool. I kinda wish armor actually gave you armor, though.
4. The story is fine. I appreciate the TTRPG jokes.
5. Setting is cool. A fantasy world that feels true to TTRPG settings and as goofy as Borderlands likes to be.
6. Voice acting is great. Villain is great. Tina is great. Other players are... whatever. I like Wanda Sykes even if her character is meh.
7. Enemy variety is good. Talking skeletons are hilarious. Goblin "tricksters" in barrels are fun even if their ram attack has too much knockback.

However, I've got some criticisms. I'm wondering if I'm the only one to notice these. Most of these are small, but... there's so many little things that together I think TTWL is easily my least favorite game. It's like a death of 1,000 cuts. No huge glaring issues. Just things that tell you they didn't put as much care into Wonderlands. The game is undercooked. The bad:

1. There aren't really mechanics around melee combat. You just hold down melee, and then try to keep the enemy on screen. There are talents that make you better and the weapons often feel satisfying, but overall melee doesn't feel very deep for how important it seems to be.
2. Melee interrupting and resetting reload animations feels awful. Reload animations feel relatively long in WL, and if you miss the timing a little bit because some mob is eating your face that you want to finish off, you have to start the whole thing over. I really, really hate it.
3. The classes are kinda underwhelming. They remind me of BL1 classes more than anything. The ability trees are kinda dull; mostly static mods that don't do a whole lot plus a few kill skills. The action skills just feel like unique spells unless it's a pet, but the number of spells waters them down a lot. Having two classes is a great idea, but... it's not transformative gameplay like the BL3 classes were. Ability scores in particular feel lazy.
4. The way encounters work in instances really sucks. Instead of organically approaching an area, you're dumped into a combat arena. There aren't enough maps, either, or they get reused way too much. Instead of knowing where the enemies are and where safety is, they teleport in around you so you're constantly surrounded. Surrounded by melee enemies that will happily mob you and pin you in a corner. That might be realistic, but it's sure as shit ain't fun in an FPS. It's a good thing that snipers seem mostly terrible because there's so many encounters where they won't do anything. Need to run away and reload? The game will helpfully teleport enemies in front of you! And god help you if you die during the third stage of one of these instanced dungeons because you get to do all three of those fights again!
5. OK, it's a little thing, but when you complete an overworld shrine they don't activate on their own. You have to go back and activate them. Why? Why isn't finding all 4 parts good enough? And why are the bonuses so boring? Faster walking on the overworld? 10% more XP? These... suck. They feel like, "We nerfed you from baseline so we could find rewards to give back to you!"
6. The overworld likes to steal or lock your camera controls in certain areas. No. Bad. Stop that.
7. Map navigation on PC is fucked, too. You have to drag the reticle on the map to select things. The mouse just isn't used as a pointing device. Oh, but if you accidentally have the mouse where the list of travel locations are going to be on the UI when you open the map, well, then the map will automatically refocus to that spot instead of where you are. Want to refocus on yourself? Too bad. The easiest way to do that is to move the mouse to the right side of the screen then close and re-open the map.
8. The enemies feel... bizarrely bullet spongey. Worse, quite a lot of them just charge at you and melee. Even with an FOV of 105+, it's obnoxious simply because it's hard to see what is going on. I want the option of switching to third person camera.
9. So many enemies randomly have immunity shields, too, where you have to wait until you can attack them. That's maybe fine for an area boss, especially when they flood the boss arena with adds or do a phase change, but it's bullshit that a mook pirate with a ship's wheel as a "shield" just takes no damage or that the miniboss has a 15s immunity shield on a 20s cooldown. It's not overpowered. It's boring. I'm reminded of EgoRaptor's Ocarina of Time video: "There is so much goddamn waiting"
10. There's a lot of enemies that explode randomly when they die or have damage zones that persist after they die (sometimes from your own elemental weapons!). This has the knock-on effect of sometimes you win a combat, but then the last enemy explodes or drops a poison pool and that knocks you out. It feels very cheap and bullshitty in solo play whenever BL knocks you out after all the enemies die, and WL seems uniquely good at doing that to reset your progress by denying a Death Save.
11. The character creator doesn't really work. You get 5,000 sliders for the head and face, but they don't seem to do a whole lot. More oddly, there are only two body types, and they're kind of fixed based on class. You're a stabbomancer. Want your character to be a waifish girl assassin? Well, too bad. That's not possible. You either look like a kind of buff male wrestler or a kind of buff female wrestler. It feels like it misses the point entirely.
12. So many guns have slow projectile speeds or arcing projectiles that the gunplay really suffers. Certain weapons (magic blast shotguns and explosive lobbers) feel like they don't do the damage they're rated for, and the range of impact on the target is both extreme and too varied. Some weapons just have no effect at all. Others have huge knockback... but only sometimes. Both of these feel like they harm the quality of gunplay.
13. The loot feels like it sucks. It's too time consuming to go through it all, especially with the stupid inventory still being the same as it was in BL2. Like the rings and amulets don't feel like they do a lot unless you get a god drop, so it's hard to compare them.
14. The non-weapon class modifiers feel lazy and nebulous. "+10% Stabbomancer power." OK, great. I'm a stabbomancer. 10% of what now? Just my active skill? Every skill or talent? And the Epics have two classes chosen at random. So there's about a 1 in 20 chance that the game will drop loot with mods for both my actual classes, and about a 50% chance that it will have neither of them. Most non-weapon drop drops are automatically trash loot for you. But you had best pick it all up to sell, because....
15. Why are the SDUs so goddamn expensive? In fact, why is everything so goddamn expensive? If you want to buy something from the vending machine it's going to be 50% or more of your funds. I remember saving up to be able to afford maybe one thing from the vending machine in the future. That's steady throughout the whole game for me. SDUs are just a further drain.
16. Dark element seems too good. Like I just always keep a dark element weapon on me now because it's basically the only active way to heal. You can either find potions on the ground (why can't I carry them?) or use a vending machine to heal (which I don't think I've done since BL1) or explode a healing barrel or I can use a dark weapon. That's it. Oh, I suppose you might get a drop with 0.5% heal per second on it, but whatever. I get that lightning is good vs ward, poison is good vs armor, fire is good vs flesh, and ice is good vs bone. But dark is the only way to extend survivability, really. Mainly because running away is often impossible (instanced encounters).
17. The default keyboard layout is total garbage now, and I think it's because melee is important. WASD. E use. R reload. 1-4 weapons. Space is jump. F spell and G skill (or vice versa). H another skill sometimes. LCtrl slide and crouch and slam. Q is tag (I think?). C weapon mode. V is melee? Really? Why is such an important key there? It doesn't feel like they actually planned any of this out. I know it's the exact same layout as BL3, but the gameplay is much different. It's really annoying in ways I didn't expect. Why does it feel like there was just no thought put into how making melee important might prompt changes to the key layout? It just feels like every character is as input heavy as BL3's Zane, and it's because they didn't really think about anything.
18. This has been a constant issue for me since Borderlands 2 (in BL1 it felt appropriate). Since they keep making this thoughtless design mistake I'm going to keep bringing it up. Why do they keep starting you off with only 2 weapon slots? Why does gear drop that I can't even equip? Why are gear slots locked at all if you can just level-gate drops from some categories? It's a looter shooter focused on switching weapons and gear frequently! Let me use the loot that drops and let me use more weapons! This is a shitty progression mechanic, and it feels even worse here. I think I found my first ring 4-5 levels before I could actually equip it. I'd found two epic rings before I could even equip one.

I'm not going to give up on the game because in spite of all that it is often fun. But I think this is the worst BL game. Which is a shame because Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep is probably the top tier for Borderlands, IMO.

Photography isn't just a hobby for me, it's how I connect with the world and feel truly alive. So that's why when I hear of people being excluded from our passionate community (local communities not the subreddit) in shady ways, like rumor mills, secret blacklists, shadow banning. It is particularly disheartening.
Our shared love for photography is a powerful foundation for fostering a community that thrives on learning and growth. I take community concerns very seriously, and even within my own groups, I've implemented preventative measures to keep ethical considerations at the forefront. These include regular workshops on model consent, clear communication policies, and having a trusted third-party available for conflict resolution. However, even when removal is necessary, I believe in offering clear paths for redemption.
Vague promises of "working with you later" with no clear path forward are simply not good enough. This "mob mentality" of spreading rumors, like whispers of "photoshop abuse" or "unsubstantiated accusations of disrespecting models", and leaving people in the dark is something I strongly oppose.
Sure, some actions may be irreconcilable. (If it involves law enforcement) But for those determined to learn and improve, shouldn't we offer support? Openly discussing mistakes, like an instance of unintentional copyright infringement, and outlining clear paths for redemption, such as educational courses or community service projects, are far more powerful tools than public shaming, and exclusionary tactics.
Understanding Different Perspectives
It's important to acknowledge that some may disagree with my approach. There may be photographers /models who believe someone who has engaged in unethical behavior, like exploiting a model's trust during a shoot, shouldn't be part of the community. I'm open to understanding their perspective. There's a valid concern about protecting vulnerable individuals within the community.
However, I believe that if a photographer who has violated trust demonstrates genuine remorse and a willingness to learn, there should be a chance for redemption. This could involve mandatory workshops on topics like ethical treatment of models, copyright law, and consent. In groups they could work with a mentor who can guide them and hold them accountable. There have been many cases where photographers have made mistakes, learned from them, and reintegrated positively into the community.
Ultimately, even if we can't fully agree on everything, perhaps we can find a way to coexist and learn from each other, united by our shared passion for photography.

I (30M) am currently engaged to my partner (28F) and am deep into the wedding planning process, however, for the past few months we've been arguing and going back and forth over potentially incompatible issues and I'm not sure how to proceed.
The root of the issue is around sex, who initiates, and where it ranks in the list of priorities. Basically what she ultimately wants is someone who is driven by sex, and considers anyone who isn't not particularly masculine. Her specific needs are for her partner to want it a lot and to be the nearly sole initiating party. Now I actually consider myself to have a fairly normal sex drive (would love to have sex 2-3 times a week) and it results in us generally having sex 1-2 times a week (which seems pretty normal). I also generally speaking have no problem being the sole/primary initiating party.
The problems begin when we talk about being driven by it and having it (sex) as the number 1 priority. Simply put, it just isn't my number 1 priority. It's a high priority, but just not number 1. And simply discussing this point with my partner has created a HUGE rift between us and this topic. Stating it's not my number 1 priority has led to her stating things like:
"That disgusts me" "That's not compatible with me" "If I'd have known this before we started dating, we wouldn't have ever ended up dating" "Just know I am settling for you" "If I wanted someone who didn't prioritize this as #1 I would date a girl"
I personally feel this language is a bit harsh, and so my unending point I try to make when discussing/arguing is that it's ok if we have a mis-alignment, that we can agree to disagree, but I'm not really ok with feeling like my partner doesn't like me or is settling.
Why can't I just say it is my number 1 priority? Simply because she expects me to pursue it (or state my reason why I'm not) basically all the time, and that's just not practical for me. There is plenty of days where I'm simply working on my hobbies or get bogged down with work and simply aren't thinking about sex. So pretending it's top of mind all the time creates issues.
What are my number 1 priorities? Things like communication, honesty, trust, etc.
My reason for posting here is I don't really know where to go from here? We've been together for a really long time (7 years) and are currently engaged. However, we've also tried couples therapy before on unrelated issues and it wasn't particularly helpful, and I don't think it'll help here. I think she's being truly honest about this being an incompatibility, but also wants to keep the relationship. She keeps saying: "I'm not going to throw out the 99% good for the 1% bad" even though I feel like she's weighting these incorrectly. Am I being dramatic by saying those statements really hurt and make me even consider whether we should move forward or not?
This discussion in general also came up as a result of me wanting to talk about anxiety related to sex, which also led to similarly harsh statement indicating that no man should ever be anxious around sex at all.
Open to any general advice and/or thoughts here since I'm kinda at my wits end.
TL/DR: My (30M) fiancee (28F) considers us incompatible but also doesn't want to leave despite really harsh language being used about said incompatibility.

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MNS Oengro

“How’s the fuel status of the Oengro?” Grionc asked.
Vastae, eyes glued to his console, replied without hesitation. “We have just enough blink fuel for one jump, but we aren’t going anywhere once we get to the other side without a refueling ship.”
“One blink is all we need. And if the Oengro is good to go, the other, smaller ships should be fine too then,” Grionc responded, bringing up the system map on screen with her paws. “Four minutes to blink limit. Have the ship’s crew secure themselves for the blink and get ready for shift change to execute post-blink procedures when we arrive.”
“Yes, High Fleet Commander,” Vastae acknowledged with a brisk nod.
Suddenly, three quarters of the sensor readings on her sensor board disappeared, and the fidelity on the remaining took a nose-dive in accuracy. A low murmur ran through the sensor stations, which she waved away with a paw. “No need to panic. It looks like our friends jumped before we did, as arranged. Our sensors are on their own for now.”
Vastae swallowed hard. “Are you certain about this plan, High Fleet Commander?” Vastae asked nervously. “Not that I don’t trust what Sphinx— Speinfoent cooked up, but this is a last-minute plan modification we haven’t rehearsed. And with our fuel situation, we only get one chance here.”
Grionc put a calm smile on her face. “Remember that exercise we did with the Grass Eaters a while back?”
“Which one?”

4 months ago

“Since it’s New Years, it’s time to have some fun,” Mark announced with a grin to Grionc and the rest of the curious bridge crew. “I’m going to show you guys a fun teambuilding exercise we did on Terra.”
“Teambuilding exercise?” Grionc asked suspiciously.
Mark didn’t let her skepticism color his enthusiasm. “Well, I’m not sure how much teambuilding it does, but it is fun. And I have never seen aliens do it. In fact, this might be the first time this has ever been done outside of Sol!”
“Fine, fine. What are we doing?” she relented.
“This exercise is what we call the trust fall.”
“The trust fall?” Grionc repeated. “It’s about building trust? Like trust in your crew?”
Mark nodded vigorously. “It’s supposed to. I’m not sure if it truly works, but it truly is fun. You and I can demonstrate for the crew.”
Grionc sighed. “Sure. What do I do?”
“Come stand over here,” Mark pointed to a spot on the floor, and then stood in front of her with his back to her. “What I’m going to do is I’m going cross my arms… like this… and on the count of three, I’m going to fall backwards, and you have to catch me when I do.”
“Huh. That seems dangerous. What happens to you if I don’t catch you?” Grionc asked, mild concern creeping into her voice.
“Traumatic brain injury, probably. Something similar for your species too, I assume,” Mark shrugged nonchalantly. “But don’t worry about that. We have good medical facilities on the Nile, and you will catch me. That is the point of the exercise. Alright, you ready?”
Sensing his insistence, Grionc sighed and held her paws out, bracing herself. “Ready.”
“One, two, three…” Mark did as he described, crossing his arms, and falling backwards into Grionc’s outstretched arms. She grunted with slight effort as she intercepted his fall and then gently lowered him onto the ground, “Oomph. Huh. You Terrans are lighter than you look.”
“Yeah, my bones are nano-grafted,” Mark grinned, bounced up to full height, and circled around her back. “Okay, now it’s your turn.”
Grionc crossed her arms and held her breath for a moment. “One, two…”
She didn’t move. A few seconds later, she let go of her held breath. “I can’t.”
“What? Why not?”
Grionc muttered excuses. “No, it’s just— my tail— our balance mechanisms are different, I can’t just fall backwards on purpose—”
Mark insisted. “It’s not that difficult. Just let go. Don’t worry. I’m right here. I promise I’ll catch you.”
She held her breath once again, psyching herself up for a few more moments.
“One, two… doh, I can’t.”
Mark lightly patted her on the shoulder. “That’s okay… don’t worry… Hey, Speinfoent, come over here and give her a light shove. Alright, on the count of three. One, two—”
“Oh, no. Don’t you dare! No! Don’t touch— Yowwwwwww!”
Grionc continued, “And now… we fall. And we trust that our new friends will be there to catch us.”

ZNS 2228

“They’ve blinked,” the computer officer reported.
“Did we catch their blink vector?” Skvanu asked urgently.
“Calculating… got it! We triangulated their blink vector and probable destination! Entering it into our fleet navigation computers,” she responded, paws flying over the controls.
“How long before we can execute the blink?” Skvanu pressed.
“Two minutes before we hit the limit ourselves,” she replied, not looking up.
“Good, get the crews ready and start the countdown. I want to blink the millisecond we are clear of the system limit. And get all systems ready for what’s on the other side. They almost definitely have an ambush waiting for us. I’m guessing that’s where the remaining nine or so squadrons of Sixth Fleet are waiting for us,” Skvanu said confidently. “Twelve Lesser Predator squadrons to twenty-six of ours. Doesn’t matter how many upgrades they have, we will defeat them, especially since the first three will be within railgun range. Get those gunnery crews and point defense computers ready.”
“Blinking in seventy seconds,” she announced. “Sixty-five seconds—” Suddenly, she stood up, “Eight Whiskers, our FTL communications are open again! Both Datsot and Gruccud have just responded to our last message!”
Skvanu spun around to face her. “That makes sense. Whatever device they used to stop our communications must have been on one of the ships that just blinked out. Is there any priority intelligence from either?”
“Yes! Datsot has an emergency transmission for us. It’s from Ten Whiskers Ditvish!”
“What is it?” Skvanu asked, his voice serious.
She began to read. “Lesser Predators have entered Datsot system in force. Nine squadrons spotted so far. They may attempt to engage our garrison force there… His guidance is that we return immediately to trap these aggressor ships, but leaves the decision up to you…”
Skvanu absorbed the information with shock. If those ships are really in Datsot, they must not be on the other side of wherever the Oengro is blinking. And with that context, this now smelled exactly like a planned trap.
He thought out loud. “This must be what the Lesser Predators planned from the start. If we chase, we have no idea what they have on the other side. There may be refueling ships. They may have already gotten away. By the Prophecy, they may even be sacrificing three squadrons to get us to blink through a singularity or anomaly. But wait… If we return to Datsot immediately, we might catch those squadrons split from the rest of their ships and cripple their fleet!”
Having made up his mind, he shouted urgently at the navigation station, “Navigation, hold the blink!”
“Halting the blink procedures.”
“A handful of ships have already completed the blink!” the computer officer reported, almost in a panic.
“Cease blink procedures! Fleet-wide, cease the blink!”
The order went out immediately, and it was a testament to the discipline of the Znosian Navy that most squadrons managed to stop the countdown just seconds before it went through.
“How many ships went through?” Skvanu asked urgently.
“We managed to stop most of our ships, Eight Whiskers. Only five combat ships from Squadron 6 went through.”
He sighed in relief. “Only the Prophecy can help them now… Turn us around. Let’s get back to Datsot.”

TRNS Nile

“I think we are in sufficiently deep space,” Captain Gregor Guerrero said to his crew. “Drop us out.”
“Yes, captain. Emergency drop-out in five… four… three… two… one… now.”
The ship shuddered and creaked as the emergency-stop was activated. The blink engine wound down, forcing the ship back into normal space.
Gregor turned to his navigation officer. “How far from Plaunsollib did we travel, in regular space?”
“Two months on their Alcubierre drives if they combat burn with all their fuel. Four if they plan on stopping,” she replied immediately. “They’d be going too fast to aerobrake anyway.”
“Good,” Guerrero said, gluing his eyes to his sensor board. Ships in FTL are difficult to detect, even on gravidar, but the state-of-the-art technology on the Nile gave them a few seconds of warning.
A few seconds later, the sensor officer’s voice cut through the tense silence. “I’ve spotted the Puppers in blink! All of them, tight formation. They’ll pass us in about fifteen seconds.”
Guerrero nodded his pleasure. “Good, let them pass. Tell me when they’re out of range.”
The seconds ticked by. “Ten… five… they’ve passed our position… and now they’re out of range.”
“Now, switch on the blink disruption field,” he ordered.
The hum of the ship’s ambient noise went up an octave, signaling maximum power drain as the ship’s thirstiest system kicked in.
Gregor looked at his information panel. “Full emissions control. EMCOM Alpha. Deploy the FTL jammer drone and then shut off our engines. If things go well, we’re about to be joined by half the fucking Bunny Navy in a minute.”
“Aye, Captain. EMCOM Alpha.” The rest of the crew nodded, working their controls with practiced competence.
“Jammer drone out. You think they’ve got wild weasels, captain?”
“Unlikely, but we take no chances. If they don’t…” He shrugged. “… we’ll just get our drone back later.”
A tense minute passed, then the sensor officer reported, “Captain, Znosian ships spotted on gravidar! Two… three… five in total… They’ve just been forced out of blink.”
“Five squadrons?”
“No, Captain, five ships.”
Gregor furrowed his brow, surprised, and took another glance at his console. “Only five ships?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Alright, keep the disruption field up, and analyze the drive signatures on them. Maybe one of them is this Skvanu guy we’re supposed to hit,” he speculated hopefully.
After half an hour, Guerrero finally called it quits. “No more guests are showing up. Looks like they must have wizened up at the last moment.”
“Aye, sir,” the executive officer said, shaking her head in disappointment as well. “It was a good plan. Could have stranded their whole fleet out here.”
“Well, bad luck— these things happen in war, Lieutenant. Don’t worry. We’ll get them next time. How are the guests we did get doing?”
“Out of blink fuel, as expected. They’ve been dumping cargo in an organized fashion. I think they’re planning to see if they can reach Plaunsollib with their subspace drives in a reasonable amount of time and call triple A.” Then, she asked, “Where do you think the rest run off to?”
“Probably Datsot,” Guerrero guessed. “Phone Sphinx and tell him he’s probably got the whole shit storm heading his way, ETA about a couple days. Get the estimates to him.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Now, we just need to silence the witnesses so we can use this trick again. Bridge to CIC: let’s keep it simple. One Kestrel for each of the targets. We’ll swiss-cheese them with railguns after. Just in case.”
“Aye, Captain. We’re not dropping off those TRO drones here, are we?”
“Nah. Too much work. No one is finding these guys ever again anyway.”

MNS Trassau

“I just got off a call with the Nile,” Loenda announced. “Looks like the Grass Eaters have discovered our ruse in the other system. The main enemy fleet is heading our way right this second.”
Speinfoent sighed, and suggested, “If we burn closer for just half a day more—”
“No more,” Loenda declared. “We are already risking nine squadrons coming this far into the Datsot system limit.”
“Alright,” Speinfoent agreed reluctantly. “We can still give them a present they won’t forget any time soon.”
“That, we will. That we will.” Loenda turned to her console. “All ships in Battlegroup 2, dump your payloads as quietly as you can. Then wait half an hour to change your vector and make your way to the system blink limit.”
“Yes, Battlegroup Commander.”

ZNS 1841

“Ten Whiskers, the Lesser Predators are turning around,” the computer officer declared, doing her best to hide her relief.
“What? Where are they heading now?” Ditvish asked, confounded.
“Towards the shortest path to the system blink limit, I think.”
“That’s it? They’re just leaving now?”
“Combat computer speculates that they might have seen that Eight Whiskers Skvanu is heading back to Datsot, so they are breaking off the attack,” the officer offered.
“That’s… not very Lesser Predator of them, but very logical,” he admitted. “They must have realized their plan failed and are now cutting their losses.”
He didn’t mention that his fleet was the one that came out behind, losing yet another precious supply convoy and then sending the whole combat fleet on a wild predator chase for nothing. That State Security goon might start to become a problem if he didn’t spin this well in his after-action report.
A few hours later, a foreboding feeling coloring his mood, he ordered, “Sensors, boost our radars towards where they changed vectors. I want to check to see if they dropped any drones or traps.”
“Yes, Ten Whiskers.”
The 1841 boosted its radar towards the direction, blaring out signals on maximum strength and—
“Incoming… missiles? Ten Whiskers, many missiles! Dozens! Over a hundred! They’re well within our minimum abort range!”
“By the Prophecy!” Ditvish exclaimed. “All ships, execute combat burn away from them! Countermeasures and fire counter-missiles, at the ready! Track those missiles!”
Fortunately, the garrison fleet was still in high readiness from before. Their engines were ready to light up to full acceleration immediately.
Unfortunately, the missiles were already close. In desperation, his ships began dumping their entire loads of radar chaffs and flares into space behind them as they maneuvered away from the threat. Counter-missiles sped out of their tubes towards their rear, relying on their motherships’ sensors and radars to find the tiny alien missiles for them to engage.
Quietly gliding through space towards the enemy on inertia inherited from their motherships was the sizable swarm of Terran-made missiles. Obsolete for military purpose in Sol but still produced for the civilian and gray market, they were an easy addition on the TRO’s shopping list. Vast quantities of them had found their way into various shell corporations and dead drops all over Sol, then onto hastily constructed exterior pylons on Sixth Fleet ships.
While they were indeed several times outside of the maximum effective range of the Znosian ships at launch, missiles technically did have unlimited ballistic ranges in space — if their enemies were not moving and they did not need to constantly fire their thrusters to adjust course. Relying on a short first burn and then inertia, they flew most of the way towards the stationary enemy fleet completely undetected. By the time they were spotted, it was too late; the Znosians were well within their effective ranges.
Their intelligence chips might not have been super-Terran state-of-the-art computers, but the Pigeons had no problem realizing that they were discovered. They had been tracking the enemy targets using passive infrared sensors that did not alert enemy threat sensors to their presence. But the second that the targets started dropping flares to blind them, they activated their primitive late twenty-first century radars and homed in onto the priority targets they’d been given. Their main thrusters began their burns, adjusting their vectors to intercept the now-finally-moving enemy ships.
Then, they saw the incoming counter-missiles — fired by the enemies sporadically, obviously in panic.
The makers of the Pigeons might not have bothered to include next-generation electronic dazzlers on them, but penetration aid on missiles had been standard in Terran warfare for a century. They littered the space they were in with chaff and their own bright flares, coordinating with the other missiles in the area with short range laser communication to ensure that none in the swarm would confuse or disrupt each other.
The Znosian counter-missiles were certainly confused and disrupted though. Many veered off into phantom signals. Some lucky ones did manage to find their targets. When a few of their comrades dropped off their impromptu mesh net, the Pigeons constantly corresponded with laser communications to re-prioritize their targeting.
At the top of the list was the fattest, easiest target of them all: the enemy flagship 1841.
Seconds before impact, the missiles finalized their targets, and they spent every drop and fume of their remaining fuel on terminal maneuvers.
The Znosians’ close in weapons systems had milliseconds to engage the incoming threats. They performed admirably… for trying to deal with this unknown alien threat for the first time. A couple dozen more missiles were plucked out of space, but it was not enough.
Not nearly.
The rest slipped through the net.
Miraculously, the 1841 managed to survive initially. Despite it being the primary focus of the Pigeon mob, the other ships did their best to shield its most vital components in its rear with their own point defense. And the Pigeons — like most missiles of its era — were loaded with just enough firepower to destroy much smaller Terran ships. The larger hulls of the Znosian ships gave their obsolete mid-century intelligence chips a slightly more interesting exercise in module identification and targeting.
The massive Thorn-class battleship took fourteen hits to varying systems that the missiles visually identified as “that looks pretty important” on their final approach: its primary missile and gun tubes were trashed, venting atmosphere to space in those compartments. A proximity hit near the stern took out four of its eight massive main thrusters and several system modules at the rear of the ship. And perhaps worst of all, one Pigeon managed to zero in on its vulnerable front bridge, the explosion emptying its contents and occupants into vacuum.
Luckily for Ten Whiskers Ditvish, none of them hit the armored flag bridge where he was in the belly of the ship, vindicating the Znosian Navy’s practice of separating the two for redundancy.
Nonetheless, Ditvish fell to the ground as the simultaneous impacts temporarily overloaded the inertial compensators and shook the ship to its core. Sparks flew around him, and he smelled a pungent stink as the automated fire suppression systems kicked in to save as much as they possibly could.
He slowly climbed to his feet and looked at the scene around him. A sensor officer was spraying foam at a small fire with a handheld device, successfully extinguishing it in seconds. Several other of his crew were recovering and returning to their stations with remarkable calm. After all, they were elite, well-trained spacers and officers of the Znosian Navy.
Ditvish did the same, propping himself back into his command chair with slight effort. He operated his console in a concussed daze. One glance at the status board told him that the 1841 was a write-off. It wasn’t going to be combat effective ever again. At least its life pod systems were working, and he watched in relief as dozens then hundreds of crew members in the damaged sections of the ship climbed into theirs and ejected into the relative safety of vacuum.
He checked up on the other ships: several others were hit. Six had outright detonated: no survivors nor signals came from them. Two were irreparably damaged, their remaining crews also abandoning their ships in an orderly fashion. And another six had visible fires or scorch marks on their damaged hulls, but those crews were still valiantly fighting to keep their ships alive.
Ditvish noticed that the missile didn’t go for all his ships, just the ones on the outer edge on his sensor board— wait, the missiles—
To his horror, several more dozen missiles they’d detected were still active, and they were going for—
He looked at his computer officer’s station and yelled, “We have to warn them!”
She yelled something back at him, but he realized that he couldn’t hear her. Hitting the floor must have injured his hearing organs. He yelled again, hoping that she could still hear. “Warn the orbital support fleet! The logistics and fire support ships! Evasive maneuvers and take cover in the atmosphere!”
Her lips moved again. He got out of his chair and stumbled over to her in a daze, trying to hear what she was saying.
She was saying something.
It must be important.
“… not reach them. Our communication array… destroyed! Ten Whiskers, we need to get… We don’t have much time!”
Ditvish finally understood her from reading her lips. He didn’t respond. Just numbly watched the planetary battlemap of Datsot on the main screen.
It didn’t take long. They were completely defenseless.
The remaining missiles plucked every last orbital fire support and logistics transport ship out of the skies of Datsot. Most detonated; a few left behind trails of black smoke as they sank uncontrollably towards the planet’s surface.
Then, Ditvish’s hind legs gave out and he crumpled onto the bridge floor.
He was dimly aware of one of his subordinates dragging him towards the bridge escape pod as he blacked out.

MNS Trassau

“Don’t worry, Speinfoent,” Loenda said, putting her paws around the junior commander looking glumly at the image of Datsot retreating from their view as the rest of the bridge cheered the better-than-anticipated success of the raid. “We’ll come back, and next time, we’re coming back for everything.”
“That we will, Loenda. That we will.”

Meta

There is no research that shows the effectiveness of trust falls for building trust in a team and plenty of research showing that falling backwards from a full standing position without adequate bracing or padding can lead to serious brain, spinal, and back injuries.
Coercion or retaliation against Malgeir employees who refuse to participate in trust fall exercises may be considered investigable or actionable violations of workplace safety regulations by the Republic Office of Occupational Safety or anti-discrimination regulations by the Office of Equal Opportunity.
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Chapter 53: Apostasy