Please keep in mind this advice is coming from someone who had a 3 year relationship that was monogamous and with the hope of marriage. Ended it because he lied, emotionally cheated, disrespected and humiliated me and then chose his addiction over me. That’s the perspective I’m working with. So, take it for what you will.
Here’s the most helpful things I’ve learned & done to reach this point.
1) Make sure you’re seeing the relationship and people involved for what it was and what they did, rather than how you felt it was. Take your feelings out of it. Imagine your friend is telling you about a couple they know through a mutual. Completely detach and just tell yourself the story of what happened between two people. Focus on actions, and things that happened. No intentions, or feelings, just what went down. Does the couple sound problematic? Are you left thinking “yeesh, what a mess..”? It’s really easy to fall into the trap of “they were so perfect,” “we were so good together,” “they were the love of my life..” It wasn’t perfect if it ended. Maybe you were good, okay, it still ended. Okay, maybe they were your love- but you still have life left to live. They were your love, for a time. Why would you condemn yourself to not knowing any other love for the rest of your life? That’s sad. You might know love again, though different, it might be better. Don’t trap yourself in a delusion or a sadness, or it will never end. Be real with yourself and your situation. Recognize the roles you each played. Don’t focus on fault. Focus on accepting that the relationship simply failed.
2) Keep a journal, voice recordings, anything to just vent your emotions to and keep a record of your breakthroughs and then return to read. How do you know if you’re actually healing or if you’re stuck in a cycle if you have no way of keeping track of your progress? Yes, it’s not linear. Bad days will be there. But if the downs are consistently DEVASTATING, and the number of good days are not growing, are you actually healing? Compare yourself today to yourself from yesterday. When you feel bad, go back and read your breakthroughs that led you out of it. It’ll help keep you on your path and keep your logic in check.
3) Realize the power of your choices. I want to preface this by saying I struggle with Major Depressive Disorder (severe, diagnosed). I start every morning having to ask myself what reason I’m living for that day. And yet, I’d still consider my life to be full of joy. Is that every day that it’s joyful? No. Especially the fuck not when the breakup was fresh. The point I’m meaning to illustrate here is that, even in my case, where my brain does it’s hardest to convince me there’s no point to anything, even living, you can still experience joy in life. And a big part of that is because of the choices I make. It is definitely the easier choice to decide to lock myself in my room, starve and waste away. I used to live like that. I could live that way again if I chose to. But it sucks. It sucks ass. If you want to stop being miserable, then choose to. Going on and on about how you’re miserable won’t change it. You have the power to put on music that makes you feel sexy, and dance in the living room topless. Pick up that video game you love again. Get yourself a Baja Blast. Go to the dog park. Start keeping track of how many people with yellow shirts you see and make it a competition with your friends to collect the “most yellow shirts seen,” I don’t know. Get silly with it. Or don’t, if that’s not what you like. Or stay miserable. Check your ex’s socials obsessively. Keep unnecessary contact. Keep doing them unreciprocated favors. It’s your choice of how you live your life.
4) Find your self-respect. This one’s a harder one and will be different for each person. Personally, I made peace with my childhood traumas. Not every person will need to do that, in some cases of trauma, it’s actually better to forget. I’m not going to say “love yourself,” because while love and respect go along together, they are not the same. First, ask yourself what respect looks like to you. Then ask, are you doing those things for yourself? Are you worthy of that treatment? Why or why not? What would make you respect yourself? Are the expectations of yourself realistic?
5) Keep doing, keep going. Keep moving forward! Sadness, anger, disgust, betrayal, desperation- whatever it is, use it to move forward. Don’t worry, we’re not in Star Wars- use the dark side of the Force to your heart’s content IF it pushes you forward. If it however makes you kill the younglings, attack your best friend and lose your limbs- if it brings you and the people around you down, then it’s not the way for you. Keep a schedule to look forward to, or just anticipate. Move forward with time. Having a sense of a timeline helps to stay out of a cycle.
At the end of the day, you know your situation and life the best. Use your own judgement, and make your own decisions.

I (31f) have been with my husband for 5+ years now. (37m). I had just gotten out of a miserable, abusive relationship a year before I met him, and in the beginning, I had no idea if it was a good relationship at all. At the time, I just wanted to be with someone who wouldn't hit me or scream at me. I wanted my young son to have a normal family, and this guy had two happy, healthy boys if his own, a car, an apartment...the bare minimum maybe, but he just seemed so stable and safe.
He had undiagnosed Bipolar disorder at the time, but I helped him find a doctor, get on the right meds, and by the end of year one he was emotionally stable and things felt almost perfect. We worked so fucking hard the first three years to build ourselves to be better people; we both went into the relationship broken and afraid, but you'd never know it looking at us today. Our children love each other, they're well-adjusted all things considered, I regularly tell people that this is the happiest I've ever been. And it's true.
But the relationship isn't perfect; they never are, of course. We both work at the same place right now, and I take pride in doing a good job and trying to learn and improve myself regularly. He is terribly burnt out, though. He goes in and does the bare minimum, then tells people how indispensable he is; they could never fire him, the whole store would fall apart in days. He does work a shift that is difficult to replace, and in the beginning he was absolutely irreplaceable, but he's let his work slide for a while now. My co-workers don't understand our relationship, but I laugh and say they don't know him like I do. They don't know what we've been through.
At home, I do 99.9% of the childcare. Every middle of the night wakeup, every meal (his included), all the shopping and laundry and cleaning. He got me a puppy recently despite being to them, just because he knew how happy it would make me. I adore this little fellow, but it's a ton of work caring for him. We have a soon to be three year old son, and I think his dad has changed his diaper just a handful of times. Every now and then he plays with him for a bit, but he's usually "too tired" or simply doesn't want to.
He plays a dinosaur game Ark. His friends play too, so he talks to them through his headset and tunes the real world out, from the time he gets home from work until bedtime. He gets off work at 11 am, for context. The kids and I try to interact with him sometimes, but he'll usually ignore us, sometimes get annoyed that we want to spend time with him. We're gradually learning it's easier not to bother him.
I read stories about happy families with equal workloads and parents invested in each other and their children and I wonder where I went wrong. I could never leave him; I can't afford to live on my own, and I don't want to break up my boys from the family they've grown to love. I've had to do that once to my oldest son, and we're still carefully managing the psychological damage that entire situation did.
I always wanted to be a mother, and a wife. I wanted to care for my family, work to support us, everything I'm doing now...but I wanted a partner, too. Someone who gets excited to see me, who helps me with our children, helps maintain our home, listens when I need to talk. I worked so hard to make him into that person in my mind, and to make myself a person worthy of such a good partner, but I can't change who my husband is.
I'm worried what it's teaching my sons; I don't want them to put any other people through what I'm going through. I try to teach them to be helpful, grateful, attentive, but what they observe in their day to day lives flies directly in the face of what I try to encourage. Their dad has no interest in parenting, or cleaning, or supporting a family beyond monetarily.
He tells anyone who will listen that he's the greatest dad ever, much better than his dad who abandoned him as a baby then strung him along throughout his childhood. He is better than that, I'll give him credit there. He tells people what an excellent partner he is, and they assure him I'm lucky to have a husband as devoted as he. If my coworkers ask, I have nothing but wonderful things to say about him - he buys very thoughtful gifts, for example. He loves giving gifts to people and he really is great at it. But every relevant holiday, I just ask him to get me a card and write something nice, something I can look back at on hard days, or in the future when he's gone. I've recently just asked him to pick one with a prewritten message he thinks I'll like, and I'd accept that just as happily. But he doesn't like to write, doesn't know how to express himself that way, doesn't want to read through a bunch of cards...I don't know. I guess since it's not important to him, it's not important enough for me.
I ask him to do simple things at home while I'm at work - take out the trash (his and only responsibility), play with the baby, check on my 11 year old periodically, make sure everybody is fed. More often than not, these things do not get done. I try to make plans for the whole family to go out and do things, make memories, bond...but he's got stuff to do in his game, he's tired from working so hard to support us (this shouldn't matter, but I actually work more hours than he does nowadays), the stuff I suggest sounds boring to him.
I just wish he could see it from my point of view. I love him dearly. I would do anything for him. I simply want similar in return. I want to be loved and appreciated, I want a partner who cares about our home and family the way I do, I don't want to feel like I'm a burden ever time I ask him a question or try to tell a story or point out something cute the puppy/baby/boys are doing.
I feel like I'm just alone in my relationship. I've talked to him about it dozens of times, tried different approaches...none of it seems to help. He writes me off as emotional (I'll be fine tomorrow, just sleep it off) or spending too much time fantasizing about perfect relationships that don't actually exist. He thinks my standards are unrealistic, and I'm ungrateful because he provides for us. Even when I started working more hours than him and making more money than he does, he kept with that idea that he's the main breadwinner and I'm the one who runs the day to day stuff.
I just wish things had turned out differently. I wish this wasn't my life, or that of our children. I put in so much time and effort maintaining healthy relationships with the boys so they'll come and see me after they grow up, but he assures me it's unnecessary and they'll come just because they love him so much. I'm not so sure. They feel lonely and angry and hurt, and a lot of that is on him.
We're about to celebrate Father's Day. I bought him nice gifts, I've written a lovely card, I'll take him to his favorite restaurant and he'll have everything a dad could want. I do want him to feel special and appreciated. He'll probably still spend most of the day on his game, or phone, or watching movies way too grown up for our children at a deafening volume so nobody can bother him. Maybe I'll take the boys to the park then, we'll see what my schedule looks like...
I don't know that I want anything from this. Maybe just recognition that this is hard, or commiseration if someone's going through this. I don't expect it to magically improve, but if anyone has any comforting words or even just takes the time to read this, it would mean the world to me. I'm feeling so run down and sad. I just want to get it off my chest, I suppose.
Thank you for reading if you did. I hope your life is filled with love, and that you never have to feel like an inconvenience in your own home. I hope we all find peace someday, maybe just in working to be the best we can and trying to put a little good out into the world. That's all I try to do, at least. Maybe one day I'll find the joy I wish for others. I hope so, I'm tired.

Hey there! Before anything,i know my account is new but i had another account that i lost not long ago so yeah,i swear i am not a robot or a kidney stealer. Maybe a heart one tho? Who knows.
Ahem,so about me!
-I'm a 20,almost 21 year old male from Europe. Mixed,and bilingual. I'm here looking for a very special girl that knows what she wants. Someone to appreciate life with,and enjoy moments together irl and online. I guess you could say i'm a big romantic in this world of looks and such. And talking about looks!
Physically speaking: -I'm neither obese or slim,i do have some extra love but hey,i'm good for warming u during winter! haha. Height wise i'm between 5'11-6'0. CM speaking it's 181/182cms. I have dark hair and brown eyes. You could say i'm like a teddy,since i do have hair but if you like that i'm glad.
So,what do i like,have interest in? -My main interests are:
Gaming: I love anything rpg related. Started playing DS1 a few days ago and finished it yesterday. I want to play BG3 so bad but my pc isn't good,so i gotta save for a better pc. I also play Fortnite so if you wanna duo tell me! My main game franchises are: Fallout,Warcraft,Final Fantasy. And starting to like the Souls one too :))
Manga/Anime: I'm not a big weeb,yet i do love some of them. My main ones are : D-Gray Man,Berserk,Gantz,JJBA,Hellsing and Dorohedoro. One Piece is my childhood tho.
I also love Fantasy in general and i want to be a fantasy author. I do worldbuilding and all of that cool stuff so if you're a fantasy girl it'd be so good!
Music: My main artists/bands are Muse,System of a Down and Queen. I love classical music but mostly rock/nu metal and old pop.
But,what am i looking for in a girl?
-Well i'm not very picky. Just...you know,share stuff from above with me or have similar taste,be yourself and have true intentions. My main aim towards the future relationship-wise would be getting you know,a ring on your hand. And also some little devils,you know? So i hope you want the same. My age range is from 19 to 23 years old,i guess. Ethnicity,beliefs or location don't matter to me,yet it'd be more comfortable if you were from Europe if you don't your timezone messed up,but if you don't care about that thing,go ahead as well! So what else...i don't know,don't want to write the whole bible here. If you feel interested about me and want to see how things go,introduce yourself as detailed as you want in dms,and also add the word "Icarus" so i know you saw all of this.
Anyways,see you in dms maybe? Hope so!

Hello everyone,
I'm writing to you because I need some advice.
Today I'm exhausted.
I (F35) have been in a relationship for a year with a man (M33) who initially seemed mature to me.
He ran into a few problems in his new apartment (he'd just moved from another region) and quickly came to live with my mother and me.
It was a real pleasure, but as time went by our relationship deteriorated.

• My mother is jealous of a third person in the house and has become unbearable (but that's my problem, and I'm looking for a place to live).
• He has problems with his family, his friends and his former partner (these people don't respect him, they don't care about his feelings and sometimes ignore him completely).
• He suffers from anxiety

Lately, he's been taking out his frustrations on me: he's got a problem somewhere, and it's 100% my fault, even if I haven't done anything.
Example: I ask him to set limits with his friends because their lies hurt him and he's only used when they have time = it's my fault I want to isolate him.
We have an appointment, I tell him it's not the right date and he maintains that it is, so we go on his date, but of course he made a mistake = crisis, saying it's my fault and that he missed a morning's work for this appointment.
He can't finish his projects fast enough at work because he loses concentration = it's my fault, I call him 7-8 times a day (no) to break his concentration.
His back hurts, he wants to see a specialist and I tell him he's going to be in a lot of pain and that the best thing would be to see a doctor first.
He prefers the specialist and ends up waking up in the middle of the night moaning and groaning, telling me it's all my fault that he's a specialist, while I'm having a sleepless night because I can't sleep because he's making so much noise, so it's my fault for “breaking” his sleep.
We're on the phone, I'm telling him something that's just shocked and traumatized me, and meanwhile he's heating his meal in the microwave, except that it's a salad, and he's yelling at me, telling me that I'm responsible for everything and that he's very thin-skinned and that I never talk to him about normal things (which isn't true), and so on.
It's like he always "cries" like he'll breakdown and sometimes he hurts his head with his hands to make it stop.
This is my daily life and I can't take it anymore.
Today I'm really exhausted by this situation.
I'm looking for a place for us to live, because I know he can't afford rent at the moment, and that would mean going back to his parents, who are doing him a lot of harm
I try to help him on a daily basis in his work (with advice), in his relationships (with advice), I've even had him see someone because I really want him to pull through but I can't live with this kind of behavior anymore.
I have my own worries and I'm trying to rebuild myself, and I understand what anxiety is because I have it, but I never act like this with him, and when I'm down, I try to see him as an ally and not an enemy.
The problem is that at my age, I'm afraid I'll be alone for good because I've put on a lot of weight due to treatment and I have a job that doesn't pay much and I'll never find someone again, so I'm hanging on...
I'm literally lost.
Should I risk being alone or try to help him?

Hello everyone!
It's been about 2 years since the last subreddit update, and we've been due some fixin'.

Updates

• Several minor but annoying aesthetic bugs fixed on the legacy version of our subreddit.
• Updated the "useful resources" section in the sidebar.
• Reorganized the flairs (we now have 12 rather than 9) and rewrote the automod messages accordingly.
• Added a permanently pinned post (with included FAQ).
• Several changes were made to the rules. See a comparison here. Not much is meaningfully changed, I've mostly attempted to increase clarity. The biggest changes are the additions of a "no spoilers" rule, a "no pirated rules" rule, and a (hopefully) improved version of the rule regarding third party products. I've also added a section on this rule in the wiki, which explains why it is necessary and must be quite restrictive. Note that this isn't a new rule. It's the same rule we've had for 2 years already, just slightly clearer and less restrictive.
• A massive revamp of our wiki. I was never very happy with this bit of the last update, and I feel like it's finally up to snuff this time. You'll have to be the final judges, but it should be incredibly valuable now both in content and organization.
• I've taken the first steps to initiate a removal process of the other two moderators. One has never been active here for my tenure, I've communicated with the other one twice. No drama, nothing nefarious. My aim is just to keep the place tidy and remove a security risk. They are above me in the hierarchy, and could eg kick me out and turn this into a crypto-page if they went nuts on bath salts, got hacked, or similar.

I'm honestly not very happy with having eleven rules. It looks imposing, and I don't want engaging in the subreddit to feel prohibitive. But a lot of them are mostly just expressing pretty obvious stuff. I'm of the opinion that such things need to be codified in writing and accessible so moderation is kept transparent and predictable to users. I struggle to justify removing any of them for this reason, but it does leave me unsatisfied.
Other than that: I'm quite pleased, and I hope you will be too. Feel free to lay down any feedback or suggestions in the comments.

Recruitment

It's also been 3 years since I came on as moderator. My aim was to be active and responding to issues, as well as improve the style and usefulness of the subreddit (both of which were pretty lacking at the time). For these 3 years, I've been working 99,99% alone. I've been happy with that situation, because it meant I could run a very tight and maneuverable ship. I believe the subreddit is pretty much "complete" after this update. I've done what I set out to do. We are now essentially 100% in maintenance-mode and there isn't much benefit in "tight and maneuverable" any more.
I'm also getting a bit burnt out. We had 6,000 users 3 years ago. There's 30,000 now. You guys are mostly good at taking care of yourselves, so even with the increase in numbers there isn't much intervention needed. But I still need to keep an eye on things, and there is a difference in keeping tabs on 6,000 users vs 30,000 users.
In addition, we're seeing quite a lot of repeat posts. I have to be honest, that gets annoying to me. Firstly because I have to keep tabs on the community, so I see all of them. Secondly because I am of the school that believes that one should expend some effort in searching for solutions before asking for help, and also treat communication as something important and collaborative. Redditors in general just don't use Reddit that way. To many, Reddit is the new Google, where you input the bare minimum, get an answer, and move on. Thirdly because I've expended no small amount of effort in supplying a vast amount of accessible and helpful resources here. I've done that of my own free will, and nobody owes me anything for that. It still gets to me when someone doesn't read any of it and just posts the same repeat question that's already been answered many times before.
But I'm just the janitor, here to keep the place clean and grease the wheels. There's nothing inherently wrong about basic repeat posts. It's also a very natural thing in a large community that caters to newcomers and beginners. If that's how redditors reddit, then moderators must join or die. This place exists to serve its users, and they are ultimately the ones to decide how that is to be done (within the confines of Reddit terms of service, etc). It's not for moderators to enforce their preferences on the community.
Finally, I'm getting kinda bummed out by warhammer in general. The release cycle is way too tight for me. There's no time to breathe, or settle. It's mostly become just a source of stress and FOMO, not excitement and fun. It doesn't help that the last two editions worth of DA codices plus associated material have been utterly pathetic in terms of flavor. It's so obvious to me how little care and effort has gone into that side of things that I'm left wondering why I myself should care or exert any effort at this point.
For the above reasons, I feel it's time to step back a bit and take on some fresh hands.
My thinking is that I'll leave recruitment open for about a month, so let's set Monday, July 8th, 12:00 BST as the limit. I've never done this before, so I'm going to be winging it like mad. The following should give a rough idea of what I'm looking for.

• Applicants must be level-headed, decent communicators, and capable of polite (or at least neutral) engagement with offending users and detractors. They must also be able to admit when they're wrong and step away without lashing out due to wounded pride.
• Applicants should ideally have a lasting interest in the hobby and community. It's good if you're passionate, but I'll take laid-back consistency over fiery irregularity every day of the week.
• Applicants should ideally check in on the subreddit on a daily basis or close to it. Not a firm requirement, but an approximate aim. Just a sanity check on the feed and quick look at the modmail inbox+mod queue is enough.
• Experience as a moderator is a plus, but not necessary. I had none when I took up the position, and I'd like to think I've done alright. It is absolutely not a firm barrier to entry, but I am a bit wary of taking on board a user who also moderates other communities in the Warhammer-sphere. It just doesn't seem healthy for the greater community when the same handful of people are in control of multiple parts of said greater community.

If you are interested and believe yourself qualified to help out, please reach out via modmail.
I'll maintain contact with anyone interested for the duration, and start making final decisions once the deadline is up. How exactly that will be done will depend on how many people respond, and if any relevant community input on the matter comes in during the recruitment period.
My intent is to then remain on board as support, final arbiter, and keep charge of the technical details (wiki, rules, etc). My hope is that the daily maintenance can be taken care of by the fresh recruits.
If the new moderators have any suggestions for improvement or changes, I'd be happy to hear them out, but it would pretty much be up to the new moderators to implement and maintain them.

TL;DR:I was happy with being alone but a girl barged into my life and became part of it and just left by saying "people don't need bandages after their wounds heal" . now i am here even after moving on unable to trust another person.
I was the guy in college who was always alone, doing my own thing. Life was normal; if people interacted with me, I interacted with them. I was never part of any college friend circles or groups. I was happy with myself, but that doesn't mean I didn't want a relationship or best friend. I just didn't think much about it. I used to help classmates during exams by teaching them the important stuff.
Then came a girl, let's call her A. A is an extreme extrovert, full of energy. She approached me, the unapproachable person, and started talking. I never really liked that—she's a touchy person, and I hate being touched—but she persisted. Slowly but steadily, I opened up. Before A, no one texted me except to ask about schoolwork, and the only people who called me were customer service representatives. She started texting and calling me past my bedtime to vent. She said she could tell me anything because I don't judge her. I became her emotional support and shoulder to cry on (her words, not mine). I trusted her more than anyone else, even sharing my family issues and mental struggles.
Then one day, she suddenly started ghosting me. When I asked what happened, she said she had some issues and wanted to be by herself. I agreed, but she was only like that with me. She was happy and her usual self with others. When I confronted her, asking what I did wrong, she said I did nothing wrong: "People don't need their bandages after their wounds heal." She had just been using me, but why me and for what, I still don't know.
It was hard to move on. Without friends to talk to, I had to deal with it myself. After months, I finally moved on and found happiness in solitude. After the incident, I became more social, talking to a lot of people and shedding my unapproachable aura. However, I keep everyone at a distance and never let anyone in. I smile and talk with people, but I can't bring myself to trust another person. The fear of negatives outweighs the positives.
Is this normal? For those who have gone through something similar, did you ever bring yourself to be open and trust another person again? I want to be in a relationship but am afraid my trust issues will affect it, so I bury those thoughts when they arise.

so i met this girl when i was 14 years old she was 16 years old at the time, im now close too 27 years old we had a pretty special connection that ive never had with anybody else. I have tried over the years to date other poeple and i have tried to get her back numerous times with tbh sad attempts. I can not blame her for the relationship ending i was still a kid and did not take life that serious at the time, And was a heavy gamer and i tended to neglect my relationship due to gaming. I have expressed my feelings to her a few times over the years and she would always be pretty understanding and never made me feel a fool for expressing these feelings. I have gone a few years with not thinking much about her but then again i was a heavy weed user in those years and recently quit smoking weed and started thinking about her again, not really in like a lets try to get her back kind of way but more in a shit i think i missed out on my soulmate kind of way. I texted her a few days ago to meet up for a drink and catching up. She replied that she has a serious relationship now and that it wont be the best idea on the account that her bf would not like that visa versa. I texted back that i totally understood and that i wish her the best. Now there where some things i wanted to say to her when we met up, nothing bashfull cause tbh i could not find anything to complain about on her part, but just to get some total closure for myself i wrote up this letter no mention of me still having feelings or me thinking about her or missing her because i do realise im probably more in love with a fantasy i built up about her over the years, but more of a letter saying sorry for what i have been like over the years. sometimes sending a declaration of my love and all that cheesy stuff and just thanking her for how she handled me over the years but as i wrote up this letter i now wonder if i sould send. It as this feels kind of selfish and pointless, i do think it might give me the closure i need but it might not and then it would be just a pointless act. we have always had a very off and on type of contact but never that we asked each other not too contact each other ( except for the last few years as the weed kept me pretty numb for a few years on an emotional level.
sorry for any grammar or spelling error english is not my first language and im not the best at writing in general, thank you for any advice.

Hello there. If you are like me, you might also be a bit allergic to all the guides out there, that start with "please hit like and subscribe", followed by 10 minutes of chatter around what you need help with, for something that could`ve taken 30 seconds to explain.
With that out of the way, welcome to my No-BullS#$t guide to Soulmask, outlining everything I`ve learned in 80 hours playing on a server rented from G-Portal.
I am going to assume that everyone is somewhat accustomed to the bare basics of the game and how it plays so I will stick to only highlighting things that I learned myself.

1 There are 5 Tribes: Claw, Flint, Fang, Outcasts and Plunderers.

-Everyone can be deterred except Plunderers and Elites (The ones with a unique name and a silver border around their health bar).
-The Claw tribe has the best overall fighters for every weapon school
-The Fang tribe specializes in Remedies, healing and Poisons (Alchemy) so they make for great Alchemists overall, but do very well in relation to ranged combat so make for decent companions, if you prefer having a ranged helper along, they are good for this.
-The Flint tribe are supposedly the clever ones who are all about evolving and furthering their tribe's development so naturally, they make for great crafters.
-The outcasts don`t belong to any tribes and their stats as such are completely random. You can find great ones of course but expect a lower chance of finding what you need, compared to if you were chasing the more specialized tribes.

2 Proficiencies of barbarians go from 1-125+ in each respective school and what they have is based on a lot of factors as well as the low chance of them being a uniquely titled barbarian that can give them various perks outside of the proficiencies themselves.

-The level of the deterred barbarian ONLY affects what the overall proficiencies' start at when you deter them. with the higher the level the better the proficiency.
-Source: Personal experience after deterring roughly 800 Barbarians and while I know the pool isn`t very big, but it is high enough for me to be positive that the level of a deterred barb does not affect their max proficiency level, only what it starts at.
-Labourers are great at the collection of materials: Logging, Mining, Harvesting
-Craftsmen: Any crafting, completely random which ones they are given. Also supposed to unlock various tribes medium/advanced clothing and costumes if they are found in a fortress(Only 3 fortresses at the minute.) Potentially bugged right now though as I`ve deterred 50+ Craftsmen of varying levels from Novice to Master Craftsmen in a Flint fortress with 0 unlocks as of yet).
-Porters: Good at working the Kiln and or Furnace but they are also Great at transporting large quantities of items over longer distances as their weight limits are different and they have positive traits that affect how having more weight makes them move faster etc. (Unlocks the first tribe clothing too. Level 20-25 area barracks)
That`s it for now, if there`s anything else you want to know, just ask in the comments and I will add it to the guide too. But these are some of the things I see being asked the most, so instead of commenting in each post and repeating myself, I will update this one with new info.

3 Mysterious Tisane, dropped by bosses will reset the attributes of your main aka the Vagrant Novice character, but the Mysterious body shaping pill will reset the attributes of any of your deterred tribesmen.

4 The Basic Portal that you can craft yourself will not let you teleport to unlocked teleporters, only to other basic teleporters. (Please for the love of god change this.)

Note: I'm going to be writing this at approx. 3 am MST. So I wont read responses until I wake up, so expect me to reply either 12pm or later
Now this has been on my mind for a while now. As there are some things that have happened to me and my family that is either lottery winner luck, or divine intervention to make sure they are alive and well to birth and raise me. But the latter seems more likely.
But then there are definitely some concerning questions I raise about his existence.
For starters, the idea that you send yourself to hell by not believing in him, and that it's a choice or something you wanted prior.
First off, if someone believed in hell, why would they want to go? They're fed these ideas of hell being this horrible place that lasts forever for their entire lives since consciousness and all of a sudden it's their choice and that they wanted to go when they died?
Second off, how is it a choice to believe, and how can other things like homosexuality be a choice either? From what I know, there aren't any credible cases of conversion therapy that actually show it as possible. And how could belief, a strictly immutable characteristic be a choice? Why would God create someone that goes directly against his image? I believe that Jesus was a real entity and a very kind hearted person who believed what he was saying, but I can still have trouble believing that he was the son of God. (If you think belief is a choice, take a political opinion, and 'choose' to believe the exact opposite, you can't. Its either there to stay, or it naturally develops/withers away over time and exposure to new content, without your say)
Why would God give creation to those he knows will grow up to not believe? Why would he create anyone at all knowing they go to hell anyway?
I understand the all fair (even though making a belief a requirement despite no choice in it, and hereditary homosexuality aren't fair at all) and all just part, but how in any way is that all loving? And I too understand and incorporated the 'chose the decrease of power for humanity's free will' bit too, but that wouldn't answer my questions, as its just a coverup that makes no sense for trying to convince me.
That brings me onto another thing, if belief is a choice, and Christ is the only way, why would anyone need convincing to begin with? Can't they just choose to believe?
Now here's some other things I can't really get. The beginning of Genesis.
God created the heavens and the earth. Created the tree of life and knowledge. Divided the day and night and created Adam, Adam then named all of Gods other creations. God took his rib and created Eve. Awesome.
Now here's the things I don't get.

1. God then created the serpent as a test, what for? Free will wasn't a thing. That's why Adam and Eve never realized they were naked until eating the apple.. from the tree of.. well.. knowledge. And how/why would they even fall for the serpents tricks if free will wasn't a thing? The bible even says that by eating the apple they have damned his creation forever, im assuming by implying free will. Now you can say biting the apple was the creation of evil and sin. If so, why would God create something that leads to bad? Why would God help in the creation of Sin by creating the thing that helps create sin?
   
2. Why would all of humanity be damned from the apple? Why not just Adam and Eve? God has the power to do that obviously, and he loves us.
   
3. This just came up as I finished writing 2, but why would God send Jesus down to rise Adam and Eve and all of the others from hell? Why Adam and Eve? They're literally the reasons for everything bad.
   

Now those are some of the things I can think of right now, but in certain circumstances I can definitely think of a few others.
Now please don't tell me to repent, because what good will that do? Why would God listen the prayers of a non-believer? And how would repenting help anyway if I don't believe in it?
I don't mean to be hostile, I just get a little worked up regarding this topic and a lot of sense of unjust or unfairness from God is usually boiled down to the responses of "how can you question God?" or "God is good lol" when it doesn't answer any skepticism and possibly rejects someone from converting to Christ.
Well this was my little rant for now. If I have any other thoughts or updates, I might put it down in an edit. Either way, if you read my hogwash, thank you lol. I hope you all have a good night.

This is my first original post here and I just need to know what is a realistic expectation. I’m really on the fence about staying with WW. So to all those who successfully reconciled: is it likely for the marriage post-R to be better than the marriage pre-A? WW and I have had a lot of turmoil and nearly divorced BEFORE she was even wayward. And her choices just crystallized all of the issues and unmet needs I have expressed over the years. I’ve always felt disposable to her and that it’s not really ME she loves, but rather the value I add to her life. Every step of this experience only seems to reinforce this.
The PA reinforced this because she said she wanted more for herself. She “looked into our future and saw nothing to be excited for”so she decided we were separated (but still in the same house). I’d ask what the rules were, and she would say “well I’m not PLANNING on DATING anyone.” Any further questions were met with “just worry about yourself”. Anytime I’d raise concerns about her (divorced male) best friend she would deny it and say he’s just a friend. We would feel like we were working it out one moment then off the next, but she would always insist “we are separated”. So I made a dating profile. We were separated. I asked for clarification. I was told to worry about myself. So I did just that and she reacted as if her whole world exploded. After several breakdowns, I agreed to delete the profile on the condition she ended her “friendship”. She agreed so i deleted it immediately. She did not end the friendship because “what if we don’t work out? He’s my ONLY friend and this isn’t his fault. Why should I punish HIM and completely isolate myself for nothing?” Things came to a head months later and she wanted to officially end the separation and work on things. My stipulation was FULL and COMPLETE disclosure for both of us of everything that happened during separation. If anything came out later, that was it. I told her everything (which was that I had a single conversation on a dating app) and she confessed to going on one date with a guy from an app that went nowhere.
D-Day reinforced my disposability even further. Months after we ended the separation and disclosed “everything” we encountered AP’s ex who confronted WW, claiming to have proof of the PA. We promptly left and later that night she confessed. To me it seems like she only confessed because she HAD to, because there WAS proof in the form of a video.
And the healing process has reinforced her selfishness to me. When I confront her about the times I tried to get the rules of the separation, she will tell me “I didn’t LIE, because I wasn’t DATING him. It was just sex”. Further confrontations lead to “well, we were SEPARATED. It wasn’t your business”. We, in fact, were NOT separated for all of her encounters, as at least one happened after we reunited. Pointing this out yields “well I wasn’t sure if you meant it” or “we were touch-and-go” or “why are you SO focused on that aspect”
Sorry for the rant, but I just need to know if there’s hope that reconciliation will make us better than EVER, or just get us back to as good as it was before. Because if it can’t be significantly better, it isn’t worth trying.

Hey all, I would like your help on this girl I was dating this last month who mentioned she had PMDD at the start.
So I met her beginning of May. It felt like we were doing really good and heading for a strong relationship. She mentioned to me last weekend that she was in her PMDD week but I didnt notice anything unusual, if anything she was more affectionate. On Tuesday we then had s-x for the first time. The next day she got noticeably quite distant with texting and then on Thursday she sent me a break up text along the lines of "I've been thinking a lot, sorry you're a great guy but I'm not in the right headspace, please respect my decision bye. I was then unfollowed on Instagram and then checked her hinge profile and she had already updated her prompts. It felt like a complete cold 180 from the kind warm girl I knew.
This has really stung and hurt me, like damn was the s-x that bad for her 😩😂. She said she orgasmed twice and her legs were shaking and she was screaming my name and scratching my back but that could've all been fake tbh (sorry for if too much detail). Ultimately I had to respect her decision and I said that's cool thanks for your honesty, all the best.
I then started trying to make sense of how things went south and that’s when I remembered about her PMDD so I started reading up on it more. Things about how it’s like hell for you all for every month and how girls can push away and break up with partners during that week. And how there's a theory that if you don't get pregnant you are turned off by your partner. Since her PMDD was in the last week or so, I'm starting to wonder if it's related to this.
So here I am, a potential overreaching fool just wanting to know if this was maybe a cause or is it really she just doesn't want me. Truth be told I found her so amazing and it felt like we were going somewhere. But her updated her prompts really rubbed me the wrong way and idk if this is PMDD related behaviour or not. So I want to know if I should reach back out to her in a few days when her period starts or just leave this girl alone? Thanks

Apologize that I'm like a decade late to ask basic playthrough questions, but I just got the game, and I'm curious.
I'll start, for my first playthrough I just did recently after JUST FINALLY buying the game, I played a relatively peaceful V, he didn't kill every criminal he saw (a rule a thumb I had tried to stick with was ONLY INCAPACITATION allowed unless their profile showed Homicide, 1st Degree Murder, or Worse).
Because of my character, I often used the scan and paid a lot more attention to enemy's crimes and criminal record compared to many people I imagine. It also changed my overall decisions.
Like in Claire's mission, I chose to disagree with Claire's idea to kill Sampson (She still shot him, and I'm fine with that but I wish one of the dialogue options allowed me to berate her for twisting her story so much)
And in each of the Cyberpsychos (I restarted to ensure I didn't kill a single one) as well.
Did anyone else have very intentional "rules" when it came to playing their V? Anything you did purposefully to immerse yourself? I wanna see how others went about certain things relating to how they portray V, or if they were more of a "Whatever is most effective to me being strong" kinda thing

I've been trying to write for years. Decades.
In some ways I have always written; some of my earlier memories of school are sharing stories with my English teacher and the old man trying to coach me into, well, looking at the mistakes and fixing it.
I fell in love with fanfiction in my teens and wrote to my heart's desire. I couldn't stop. Hundreds of stories over a period of years that brought me my own fans and praise. In my early twenties I thought to myself okay, I can clearly do this. It's time to take my own writing seriously. Take off the stabilisers. I'm going to work on original content.
The following weeks, months and years were spent on crafting and worldbuilding the Epic I wanted to write. It went through dozens, possibly hundreds, of iterations.
I tried that monthly writing challenge. I tried being disciplined. I carried a notebook with me wherever I went jotting down new ideas. I brainstormed with other writers and friends. I wrote 10-15k beginnings that I scrapped and took back to the drawing board.
"I'm not talented or experienced enough to write something this challenging," I eventually decided. So I shelved it. I focused on learning about the art of storytelling. Inner conflict, fatal flaws, pacing, arcs, themes, what makes a good book from a great book. I bought and read books on it, articles, I watched numerous YouTube videos on the technicality of writing.
But I stopped writing.
I periodically tried to pick it up again. I knew I could write. I just needed the ideas. But they wouldn't connect. They'd sound good on paper but I could never push past that initial inspiration to write them and the blank page usually overcame me. And on the few times it didn't, my inner editor would immediately be all over what was lacking in what I'd written: I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't understand this character I had started writing about, I didn't know the world and its conflicts well enough to tell the story convincingly, people don't talk like that and I have no idea what happens in the next scene or how it pieces together in a larger work.
Slowly over the years my joy of writing got sucked from me.
Now when I sit down and write, I don't enjoy it. I enjoy planning things and creating characters. But the act of letting the words flow? I hate it. It feels horrible. Like I'm facing failure at every turn, and drowning in it. That I've lost my heart as a writer. I can technically write good words or craft a good story, I'm sure. But I simply no longer enjoy the act.
I wish I could learn how to let go of all my fears and just write. I would rather write something that is a terrible and incoherent mess and actually be able to enjoy it again, than force out something that might be technically decent but is a miserable process to get to.
I'm in my 30s now. I've wasted so much time on not-writing. I am trying to overcome some of these barriers, trying to find the joy in writing again. But man. Sometimes it's just easier to make a cup of tea and play a video game.
Can you force yourself to love something when the spark is gone?

Hey all,
I wanted to share my personal experiences with what I believe are hypnagogic hallucinations, to see if any others have experienced similar phenomena and, if so, if they had any theories.
Quick backstory-- I've been someone who's been prone to night terrors for most of his life. Growing up, a very sizeable chunk of my dreams would become nightmares. Sleep paralysis was a pretty consistent thing for me back then.
As an adult, my dream recall is pretty decent, though most of my dreams are just weird, rather than nightmarish. I'm an adult diagnosed with OCD, and I've taken SSRIs and other medications in the past, though I'm pretty stable now and am no longer on anything.
Onto to the hypnagogic hallucinations!
Basically, I can consistently make these come about at night if I'd like--and I almost feel like anyone can? (Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself there).
Meaning, if I lie down at night, and stay relatively still, and focus on my breath (ex. more or less, do what most people's definition of "meditation" is, eyes closed, focused on breath, quieting the mind), eventually, a few things will start happening:

• I will start feeling more and more 'static' in my body, for lack of a better word. It's hard to say this in any technical ways, so I will merely try to describe the feeling. As I focus on the process of falling asleep, the 'energy' in my body will almost feel a bit more palpable, a bit fuzzier, and this will eventually escalate until I can feel a lot of fuzziness in my body.
  
• As this escalates, I will feel/hear what I can best describe as like, 25ish (if not more) concurrent conversations happening. It'll feel like my body is a radio, and these conversations are running through it. Another analogy would be like, I'm hearing a bunch of different voices in my head, but it's not like they're speaking to me. Rather, they're just speaking and I can hear them. As if I'm listening in on 50 different conversations or something. This will often feel uncomfortable and weird and unsettling? And it'll usually be paired with the escalation of the fuzziness/static in my body. If I stay in the space, it usually just escalates and gets more uncomfortable.
  
• Somewhere throughout this process, I may feel a presence near me, or in the backyard. The presence will seem malevolent.
  

And from there, a number of things usually happen:
1) I will get out of bed, and then try to go back to sleep later, ideally trying to avoid restarting these hypnagogic hallucinations.
2) I will fall asleep, and the dreams will be nightmares. Often, a string of different nightmares, and this headspace/feeling will maintain throughout. The nightmares will often include things like false awakenings, or even entail me being in my room, thinking I'm awake, but going through various nightmarish things (ex. one of the strangest ones I can remember was like, the sound of a very loud drumkit in the backyard and me knowing there was a powerful negative entity outside--it sounds silly writing it out this way but in the moment it was actually unbelievably uncomfortable, scary, and palpable for lack of a better term).
3) I will try to 'sit' through the hypnagogic hallucination, to see what happens. Often, it'll just stay uncomfortable for a while, with the fuzziness/energy getting more and more large and uncomfortable, the sensations in my body feeling weird, the audio intensifying, nightmarish feelings intensifying, often feeling like weird uncomfortable energetic swirls in my body. It's hard to pinpoint where I feel them the most in my body, but likely chest and back -- literally as I'm typing this, there is a deep uncomfortable feeling crawling up my upper back.
So yeah, that's all the material I have right now about my experiences.
From here, I don't really have any grand theories or life interpretations to tie this into. I'm pretty agnostic about just about everything, don't really have any prevailing beliefs about what this all is--nothing too concrete spiritually or religiously.
I am very interested in the truth. And I think these experiences are weird.
And I think that even the most monistic, hyper-logical, fully grounded in the 3D person (a headspace I embody often) would probably ask themselves the same question I ask myself: why the fuck does the human body induce these experiences? Like, it's such a bizarre thing.
It definitely gives me some general discomfort on the idea of 'what this all is', and certainly I'd love to know if anything I've mentioned above has parallels with anyone else who has experienced hypnagogic hallucinations.

Lets try this again, hopefully I use the right combination to get good results!
I am primarily looking for long term with someone who enjoys just A nice discord call, chats, sharing memes and everything included. We dont need to have all the same interests, I am more than happy to learn about the kind of things you are into. I got a post on the Gamerpals one, but being as this is more for *Sparkle* normal friends *sparkle fades* I figures it would be better spot to describe myself further, and you best believe I am writing this mid match so yes I will be copy pasting it haha.
But in Summary I am looking for a friend for the long haul, my line of work means I dont meet people. Wow there's more of these than I remember. I guess its time for a brand new segment of Jackals famous "Amazingly written second paragraph!!!!" Lets see. Not going to lie, running out of ideas. I am writing this one after I died in my match, but that's alright *Goes to lean on pole but missed tumbling to the floor* *You look over worryingly and see I'm laying in that one pose that is cool* "Oh didn't see you there. "You see I hurt my arm but am hiding it, but the fact I am trying to keep it off the floor hides it poorly*
I have a plethora of stories and would like to hear some of yours. Feel free to pop a dm to see if we click and can become friends. If you need to vent I'm happy to relax and vibe, and due to being sleepy, yes, this will be copy pasted into Looking for... because I can.
Likes : PC Gaming, Kayaking, Gym, wood working, water sports and more. I love zombie narratives, and am a huge Fallout fanboy. I am wanting to start going to dress up conventions for gaming and media but It takes a lot more planning than I thought, still, tis be a blast!.
Games I like : Fallout nv, Tarkov, Minecraft, Sims 4 and more

Hey All!
Wanted to share my journey how I quit porn & masturbation cycle addiction. This might be considered less popular approach (I've tried streaks but somehow always ended up watching again), but what matters is that it lead me to full recovery. I don't feel any urge to watch porn anymore. If you're like me maybe this will help. I wish you guys fully recover, whatever path you take!

Background

Like many of you I've been exposed to porn at a young age, around 12 y/o. Started with paper magazines, but after getting internet I started watching videos and became addicted. I was using porn and masturbation to self-regulate, especially my emotions. I would be coming home from school, being stressed and anxious, and using PMO as a means to "relax".
Fortunately, I was able to get a girlfriend at some point, so I stopped watching porn and masturbating and focused on having sex. While this was awesome at the time, looking back I can see that porn created a craving that no amount of sex was ever enough, so I was still using sex as a mean to self-regulate, keeping myself at low energy by constantly ejaculating.
Fast forward to now where I've been in a couple of relationships in my life. Porn and masturbation always came back as a problem, because I didn't fully heal. When things were bad, for example when we were fighting, I would often use PMO as a means to self-regulate again, because that was the only way I knew how to deal with my emotions. I would also use PMO while I was physically away from my girlfriends, because of being addicted to sex/orgasm. Masturbation and porn became sex addition, and sex obsession, which is just a different expression of the same problem.
After each relationship I would be back watching porn and masturbating, because I didn't know how to deal with the heartbreak, which hindered my emotional healing. I would be also looking for casual sex. Again, all as a means of self-regulation, because that was the only way I knew how to deal with my emotions.
Being on the spiritual path as well for a while, and having some level of awareness, there's been many times where I realised this is a problem in my life and that I need to do something about it. In high school I had couple of instances of "deleting everything" (all the stashed porn, on DVDs back then). Later deleting downloaded videos or saved links. I had good intentions each time, knowing I need to do something about this, however the addiction still would eventually come back.
After my last heartbreak however, I decided to get out of this once and for all. I realised how closed-off I am emotionally, that I objectify women (that their bodies are means to get gratification), realised how obsessed I am about sex. I didn't want to be that kind of man. If there is a deep craving in you to change, you can change, you can use this craving as fuel for your journey and growth.
I set a strong intention to heal myself from all the hurt I caused myself in the past with porn & masturbation...

Healing journey

Each time before I tried a cold-turkey approach ("I'm deleting everything and never watching porn again!" type of thing) and that has never worked. It was just too abrupt. This requires Buddha-level willpower. Most of us don't have this kind of willpower. I certainly don't, so instead I went on the NoFap journey one step at the time.
Please have in mind that I'm just sharing my experience here. There are many other ways to heal, I'm just sharing my story in hopes you can benefit from it.

• I stopped watching hardcore stuff

As your porn addiction progresses, chances are you ended up looking at more hardcore stuff over time. You might remember being a kid and being turned on by a pic of boobs, but now you need to watch a gangbang video to get off. Most of the hardcore stuff is not realistic, it's not how sex in real life looks like. So at first I started filtering what I'm watching to realistic content. The amateur content was the best in that case - they are not actors in a production but real people recording their sex life.

• I set a "date" with myself once a week

Instead of masturbating whenever I wanted, I set a time and day in form of a "date" with myself. For example Sunday evening: I will watch a single amateur porn video and masturbate and orgasm only once. This allowed me to go from ~3 times a week to 1 time a week and have something to "look forward to" in the beginning. It was the first step to disconnect the PMO from the auto-regulation loop I got stuck in. Now, if I'm stressed or anxious mid week, I cannot just "masturbate it away". I need to deal with these emotions. At the same time I'm not getting "blue balls" because I'm ejaculating once a week at a set time.
For me this was the most important intermediate step to heal. This is admitting I have a problem, and regulating it, but not allowing excessive use. Needless to say this is still harmful, but allows to "dial down" slowly. I set the intention to be in this stage only for a limited time.

• I cut off different "reminders" that encouraged the habit

Needless to say, all porn images/videos/links got deleted, but didn't stop there. Deleted Instagram (the algo was showing too many pretty women), moved all the "fap items" away so they are less accessible (like putting lube/fleshlight into a storage box etc.), and became very careful about the "normal" content I'm consuming whether it's Spotify songs or podcasts or Youtube or articles. Just trying to avoid anything that is sex-charged (which you probably noticed already is really hard in this world because humanity is obsessed about sex). Reading Reddit or watching youtube about NoFap helped here, because it reminds you about the intention to get better and to heal yourself. It keeps you focused and gives you purpose on this journey.
I started with the above three points at the same time for about 4 months as the first step. I was also working out, meditating, eating healthy, getting sunlight etc. All the usual "healthy lifestyle" stuff. There was no set timeline of "4 months", it just so happened. At first I struggled to make it to my "date" once a week. That's when I realised how weak I was: that I couldn't even hold it for a week knowing I'm allowing myself to orgasm on a given day!! However, after many weeks, I reached a point when I started to push the "date" further. 8 days, 10 days, partially as a challenge and partially because didn't feel like it anymore on that given day. That's when I felt like it's time to move on...

• I switched to audio porn

While keeping the 1 "date" a week schedule with myself, I stopped watching videos altogether and started listening to audio only (very soft stuff like special amateur JOI audio recordings). This shifted the focus from visual stimulation to fantasising. When you listen, you have space to imagine, but most importantly you get to feel all the sensations from the genitals. This is where masturbation became more like "self pleasure". It wasn't rough, quick, with the only point to get off. I was enjoying all the sensations. It became less compulsive and more like a self-care act because of my body's sexual needs.
I used audio for about 2-3 months and then realised I'm sometimes enjoying the sensations so much that I don't need the audio anymore.

• I only used imagination

This is how many women masturbate. Women are generally more in tune with their bodies and emotions and have good imagination. As a lady you would "set the mood" and get into it slowly. You don't go straight for the genitals. You give yourself a bath, light a candle, stroke your body slowly, put some sexy music on, and just very sensually get into it. You set the mood.
I feel like we have a lot to learn from women in this regard. So, I would use only imagination and massage oil to pleasure myself. I would do it no more than once a week, but sometimes I just didn't feel the need anymore. Sometimes 10 days would go by, sometimes two weeks. I would self pleasure very sensually, very slowly. I set the mood as if I was to make love with someone special.
I learned so much from that experience, which is hard to put into words. I was much more in tune with my body, with my emotions, especially with lust, and it didn't feel like I'm "fapping" at all anymore. It felt like act of self love. Sometimes the experience was beautiful and I would even tear up. I didn't feel the need to watch or listen to porn at all anymore. I realised my body and mind are enough to pleasure myself, that no external stimuli (porn) is needed. Your awareness is enough! Sometimes I wouldn't even imagine anything, because the sensations were just so amazing I would only focus on the sensations. This put emphasis on staying focused and present during the act. I would sometimes even not orgasm at all, because I was just happy with all the sensations!

• I started "semen retention"

This is the last thing I had done and I'm onto it now. I stopped even with the self-pleasure acts, because I want to heal from lust completely. Getting off porn isn't enough for me. I don't want to be addicted to sex anymore too. While these acts came from a totally different place of awareness than "fapping" and allowed me to get so in tune with my body and emotions, I want to see what lies further.
I feel like the NoFap community's idea ends here, because getting a girlfriend and starting to have sex is considered a win. While it definitely is - relative to being stuck in porn addiction - the journey doesn't need to stop there. I realised that when I don't ejaculate I have overall more energy, more drive, and my focus and spiritual practices are all enhanced. Being in a relationship and having sex is a wonderful experience, however I don't want it to be tainted by lust. I'm currently single and I don't want to introduce a new woman in my life just because I need them. I want my life to be so overflowing with joy that I attract someone into my life, rather than chasing them.
Since there is a semen retention subreddit about this, I will stop here.

Conclusion

This was my journey about healing from porn, which now transformed into healing from lust and sex addiction. There is no question about porn dealing deep damage in our systems. It takes a while to undo all the damage we have done upon ourselves. It requires setting the right intention, putting the effort, and having the determination to become the best version of yourself.
I noticed the NoFap community is obsessed about "streaks" and "relapses". Putting so much pressure on yourself isn't always the best thing. I feel like with any habit or addiction, it's best to change it slowly, and replace it with better habits. Hardcore addictions like heroin addiction is often replacing heroin with less addictive drug, and then slowly reducing the dosage. While I'm obviously not advocating with this that you should keep fapping, instead of focusing on streaks/relapses cycles maybe you could try a more balanced approach if others have failed - as long as it gets you to fully heal!
That's what I wish for all of you guys!

Cut practice is pervasive in India and is ubiquitous at almost every touchpoint in the patient journey. It starts with the patient's very first point of contact in healthcare - the general practitioner and goes all the way up to the sub-specialist.
The general practitioner gets paid for referring patients to corporate hospitals. The 'professional fee' is usually a percentage of the money spent by the patient at the hospital. If the specialist at the corporate hospital refers patients to colleagues for consultations, they get paid a 'professional fee', again. If anyone decides the patient should undergo a biopsy exam or an imaging procedure, the lab that does the tests pays the referrer, whoever that might be. If the doctor prescribes a therapy, the therapy provider pays the doctor. If the doctor refers to a subspecialist for highly complex care or procedures such as transplants, they get paid a handsome sum for their trouble.
All these jack-up prices for patients, who are none the wiser. The people who engage in these practices get a steady stream of patients and also make enough money to promote themselves as the 'best' doctors in the world. This makes it harder for the upright who are crowded out by their lesser counterparts.
Patients need to realize what's afoot if they are to avoid predatory practices as these and not get ripped off. Here are some things patients can do to avoid being scammed

1. Do not divulge that you were referred by someone, anywhere. Of course, people can still figure out if the referring doctor had gotten in touch about the incoming referral. If a GP advises you visit someplace, visit any other place with equally trained specialists. This way, the hospital isn't obligated to pay 'professional fees' to the referring GP and you can perhaps negotiate for yourself a nice discount on the bill instead.
2. With labs, the situation is a bit trickier. Almost every lab pays kickbacks for business. If you are advised a scan at a lab, go to some other lab and do not give them any documentation. Just say you need a scan because a doctor in your family advised one (good if you have one). Now, radiologists might want to go through your history, exam, and diagnostics just to know what to expect and what to look for, and that should be fine (as long as they are not actively in the game and handling the kickbacks themselves). Ask for a discount. Labs should be okay because they pay through their nose to referring doctors anyway.
3. When in doubt, check with someone who doesn't have an incentive to rip you off. This is usually a relative, a doctor in the family, or a good friend. And once you get a diagnosis or advice, always validate. Check with people you trust to know better and you trust to not harm you. Look up information online. Bring up conflicting information in subsequent visits to a doctor.

Finally, know that it's not always possible to avoid being scammed. Unfortunately, the Indian healthcare system is replete with this practice. As long as you're not harmed with unnecessary procedures and treatments, you're still better off than most patients.
Let's encourage doctors who reject this practice that there might still be hope for non-predatory healthcare in future.

Cut practice is pervasive in India and is ubiquitous at almost every touchpoint in the patient journey. It starts with the patient's very first point of contact in healthcare - the general practitioner and goes all the way up to the sub-specialist.
The general practitioner gets paid for referring patients to corporate hospitals. The 'professional fee' is usually a percentage of the money spent by the patient at the hospital. If the specialist at the corporate hospital refers patients to colleagues for consultations, they get paid a 'professional fee', again. If anyone decides the patient should undergo a biopsy exam or an imaging procedure, the lab that does the tests pays the referrer, whoever that might be. If the doctor prescribes a therapy, the therapy provider pays the doctor. If the doctor refers to a subspecialist for highly complex care or procedures such as transplants, they get paid a handsome sum for their trouble.
All these jack-up prices for patients, who are none the wiser. The people who engage in these practices get a steady stream of patients and also make enough money to promote themselves as the 'best' doctors in the world. This makes it harder for the upright who are crowded out by their lesser counterparts.
Patients need to realize what's afoot if they are to avoid predatory practices as these and not get ripped off. Here are some things patients can do to avoid being scammed

1. Do not divulge that you were referred by someone, anywhere. Of course, people can still figure out if the referring doctor had gotten in touch about the incoming referral. If a GP advises you visit someplace, visit any other place with equally trained specialists. This way, the hospital isn't obligated to pay 'professional fees' to the referring GP and you can perhaps negotiate for yourself a nice discount on the bill instead.
2. With labs, the situation is a bit trickier. Almost every lab pays kickbacks for business. If you are advised a scan at a lab, go to some other lab and do not give them any documentation. Just say you need a scan because a doctor in your family advised one (good if you have one). Now, radiologists might want to go through your history, exam, and diagnostics just to know what to expect and what to look for, and that should be fine (as long as they are not actively in the game and handling the kickbacks themselves). Ask for a discount. Labs should be okay because they pay through their nose to referring doctors anyway.
3. When in doubt, check with someone who doesn't have an incentive to rip you off. This is usually a relative, a doctor in the family, or a good friend. And once you get a diagnosis or advice, always validate. Check with people you trust to know better and you trust to not harm you. Look up information online. Bring up conflicting information in subsequent visits to a doctor.

Finally, know that it's not always possible to avoid being scammed. Unfortunately, the Indian healthcare system is replete with this practice. As long as you're not harmed with unnecessary procedures and treatments, you're still better off than most patients.
Let's encourage doctors who reject this practice that there might still be hope for non-predatory healthcare in future.

IDK, I'm not really great at write-ups, unsurprisingly I'm kind of awkward.
But yeah, introducing myself:
I'm a 23 year old dude, born and bred in London, I currently work in education while pursuing a degree (a bit on the older side for that I know, but it's kind of a restart for me as I droppped out of school when I was 16 due to family issues).
I'm generally a fairly reticient person, I don't usually talk much but I like to chat freely with those I'm close to. I like working out, books, cats, the outside, learning, playing cards, eating good food yadayadayada...
Things I'd say are good about me - I'm well mannered, steady tempered and fairly reliable, I tend to be horribly open so ask me questions but please don't ask too many.Things I might self-critique - I'm not the most observant, I can have a bit of a short attention span, I tend to be a bit chaotic and disorganised.
Laying the cards up, I'd say I can be a bit of a dull person, when I'm in a relationship I do like to do things and try new things, but on my own I'm honestly just as happy sitting at home reading a book as I would be surfing on the waves. Not really a loud lights and noises type guy either, I can go to a party and have fun but wouldn't go to one unless someone asked me along. Don't drink either. On the upside, I am generally down for just about anything (any activity that is, I avoid most drugs) and am not the type to say no often.
What I'm looking for:
I don't really know, I haven't been in many relationships, and none of them really during a particularly stable part of my life.
Been fairly solitary for the last couple of years, which isn't really much of an issue for me, I'm a fairly introverted person, but it'd be nice to have someone to do things with, keep company, enjoy time together etc.
I believe every relationship is about making a friend who you can truly connect with heart to heart. Someone I can trust, who I can rely on, who I like like to be around and so on.
Obviously I'm looking for something IRL, but not expecting to dive headfirst into anything. I want someone who I can take things slow with, get to know each other without judgement or impatience, be that someone who's there for you on the days that all you want to do is spend time with someone you like, and yknow, let it develop over time.
A couple of things I don't like is people who are flakey and aren't honest or straightforward. I can appreciate all kinds of personality traits, but people who just waste your time or pull you through an emotional kaleidoscope are my nightmare.
Not to say I don't get that there are different ways things can go, sure I could be dating you for a week, two weeks or a month etc. and one of us could decide that we want different things, but I want someone who can be honest and direct about that.
Basically one of the things I value most is people who can be straightforward, and always be upfront and forward about their expectations, feelings and emotions.
Wow, I really rambled on over that last part, hope I don't sound bitter or weirdly aggrieved, I just found it's something that's best to be laid out from the start in my shallow experience in relationships. I want someone who I can always be upfront and straightforward and vice versa, I think it engenders the kind of communication that is at the heart of any good relationship.
Besides that obviously I want the general things, someone who's kind, caring, well tempered, and so and so but really I'd say I get to like individuals as the people they are holistically rather than based of specific traits (fluck, that sounds kind of pretentious doesn't it?) anways, I'm never really sure how to conclude a piece of writing unless it's an essay (I lie, I'm not really good at concluding those either), so I just tend to ramble on a bit... besides that I just checked the posting rules for this sub and it says 300 characters not 300 words, so I'm just going to end this here.