For context I have a lot of experience in advertising, up to being a Director. I broke my pelvis in 2022 and had a hip replacement in late 2023, so I have a two-year work gap. I understand I need to make some sacrifices, but I don't want to be extremely unhappy and stressed.
It's a strong re-entry into my vertical with a known brand, I'm capable of the work, and the person who interviewed me and would presumably be my boss seems like a good person.
My biggest problems are that they're 100% in-office (no remote or hybrid), the commute is pretty far (100% in my car, 45 minutes one way), I'll be taking a two-level title cut, I'll likely be taking a pay cut, and they've shown me evidence they work until at least 6 PM every night from our emails and interview times. This means I can't spend time with friends, or watch sports, one of my passions. M-F will be get home, eat, get to bed, do it again.
Maybe in my 20s, but now the back side of my 30s? I'd still like to have a girlfriend, maybe start a family... where would I find the time?
The stress is already getting to me. I kinda want to cry just thinking about it. But I need to find work.
What should I do?

PLAYBOY Interview With Conan O'Brien Interview by Kevin Cook For Playboy Magazine February 1998
A candid conversation with the preppie prince of "Late Night" about his rocky start, his show's secret one-day cancellation and how David Letterman saved the day.
He was polite. He was funny. He gave us a communicable disease.
At 34 Conan O'Brien is hotter than the fever he was running when we met in his private domain above the "Late Night" sound stage. A gangly freckle-faced ex-high school geek he is "one of TV's hottest properties" according to "People" magazine. The host of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" has become his generation's king of comedy.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Congested too, but O'Brien has far more to worry about than his head cold. A perfectionist who broods over one bad minute in an otherwise perfect hour of TV, he worries he might be anhedonic, "I have trouble with success," he says, "I was raised to believe that if something good happens something bad is coming." Sure things look good now "Rolling Stone" calls "Late Night" "the hottest comedy show on TV." Ratings are better than ever, particularly among 18- to 34-year-olds, the viewers advertisers crave.
But O'Brien only works harder. Despite his illness he taped two shows in 26 hours on three hours' sleep. He smoothly interviewed Elton John then burst into coughing fits during commercials. Later in his crammed corner office overlooking Manhattan traffic Conan the Cool gulped Dayquil gel caps. He coughed spewing microbes.
"Sorry, sorry," he said. Of course O'Brien can't complain. He came seriously close to falling to being banished behind the scenes as just another failed talk show host.
At his first "Late Night" press conference he corrected a reporter who called him a relative unknown, "Sir I am a complete unknown," he said. That line got a laugh, but soon O'Brien looked doomed. His September 13, 1993 debut began with O'Brien in his dressing room preparing to hang himself only to be interrupted by the start of his show. Before long his career was hanging by a thread. Ratings were terrible. Critics hated the show. Tom Shales of "The Washington Post" called it as "lifeless and messy as roadkill." Shales said O'Brien should quit.
Network officials held urgent meetings discussing the Conan O'Brien debacle. Should they fire him? How should they explain their mistake?
In the end of course he turned it around. The network hung with him long enough for the ratings to improve and the host of the cooler-than-ever "Late Night" now defines comedy's cutting edge just as Letterman did ten years ago.
Even Shales loves "Late Night" these days. He calls O'Brien's turnaround "one of the most amazing transformations in television history."
O'Brien was born on April 18, 1963 in Brookline, Massachusetts. His father, a doctor, is a professor at Harvard Medical School. His mother, a lawyer, is a partner at an elite Boston Law firm. Conan, the third of six children became a lector at church and a misfit at school. Tall and goofy, bedeviled with acne, he tried to impress girls with jokes. That plan usually bombed, but O'Brien eventually found his niche at Harvard where he won the presidency of the "Harvard Lampoon" in 1983 and again in 1984 - the first two-time "Lampoon" president since humorist Robert Benchley held the honor 85 years ago.
After graduating magna cum laude with a double major in literature and American history he turned pro. Writing for HBO's "Not Necessarily The News." O'Brien was earning $100,000 a year before his 24th birthday. But writing was never enough.
He honed his performance skills with the Groundlings, a Los Angeles improv group. There he worked with his onetime girlfriend Lisa Kudrow, now starring on "Friends." But Conan was not such a standout. In 1988 he landed a job at "Saturday Night Live" - but as a writer, not as on-air talent. In almost four years on the show O'Brien made only fleeting appearances, usually as a crowd member or security guard. His writing was more memorable. He wrote (or co-wrote) Tom hanks' "Mr Short-Term Memory" skits as well as the "pump you up" infosatire of Hanz and Franz and the nude beach sketch in which Matthew Broderick and "SNL" members played nudists admiring one another's penises. With dozens of mentions of the word that hit was the most penis-heavy moment in TV history. It helped O'Brien win an Emmy for comedy writing.
In 1991 he quit "SNL" and moved on to "The Simpsons" where he worked for two years. His urge to perform came out in wall-bouncing antics in writers' meetings. "Conan makes you fall out of your chair" said "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening. O'Brien's yen to act out was so strong that he spurned Fox's reported seven-figure offer to continue as a writer. He was driving for the spotlight.
By then David Letterman had announced he was turning shin - leaving NBC taking his ton-rated act to CBS. Suddenly NBC was up a creek without a host. The network turned to Lorne Michaels, O'Brien's "Saturday Night Live" boss. Michaels enlisted Conan's help in the host search planning to use him in a behind-the-scenes job. But when Garry Shandling, Dana Carvey and almost every other star turned down the chore of following Letterman, Michaels finally listened to Conan's crazy suggestion, "Let me do it!" Michaels persuaded the network to entrust it's 12:30 slot which Letterman had turned into a gold mine to an untested wiseass from Harvard.
O'Brien was working on one of his last "Simpsons" episodes when he got the news. He turned "paler than usual," Groening recalled. The Conan moseyed back to where the other writers were working, "I'll come back with the Homer Simspon joke later. I have to go replace Letterman," he said.
NBC executives now get credit for their foresight during those dark days of 1993 and 1994. They snared the axe and now reap the multimillion-dollar spoils of that decision. In fact, the story is not so simple. We sent Contributing Editor Kevin Cook to unravel the tale of O'Brien's survival, which he tells here for the first time. Cook reports:
"His office is chock-full of significa. There's a three-foot plastic pickle the Letterman staff left behind in 1993 - perhaps to suggest what a predicament he was in. There's a copy of Jack Paar's 'I Kid You Not' and a coffee-table book called 'Saturday Night Live: The First 20 Years.' His bulletin board features letters from fans such as John Watters and Bob Dole and an 8" x 10" glossy of Andy Richter with the inscription: "To Conan - Your bitter jealousy warms my black heart. Love and Kisses Andy."
"Of course it's all for show. From the photos of kitch icons Adam West and Robert Stack to the framed Stan Laurel autograph, from the deathbed painting of Abraham Lincoln, to the ironic star taped to Conan's door - they're all clever signals that tell a visitor how to view the star. Lincoln was his collegiate preoccupation: stardom is his occupation. Somewhere between the two I hoped to find the real O'Brien.
"As a Playboy reader he wanted to give me a better-than-average interview. I wanted something more - a definitive look at the guy who may end up being the Johnny Carson of his generation."
"Here's hoping we succeeded. If not I carried his germs 3000 miles and infected dozens of Californians for no good reason.
O'Brien: Yes, this is how to do a Playboy Interview -- completely tanked on cold medicine. I'll pick it up and read, "Yes, I'm gay."
Playboy: We could talk another time. O'Brien: (coughing) No, it's OK. I memorized Dennis Rodman's answers. Can I use them?
Playboy: You sound really sick. Do you ever take a day off? O'Brien: No. The age of talk show hosts taking days off is over. Johnny Carson could go to Africa when he was the only game in town -- "See you in two weeks!" But nobody does that now. I will give you a million dollars on the first day Jay takes off for illness.
Playboy: Do you ever slow down and enjoy your success? O'Brien: If anything, the pace is picking up. Restaurateurs insist on giving me a table even if I'm only passing by, so I'm eating nine meals a night. Women stop me on the street and hand me their phone numbers.
Playboy: So you have groupies? O'Brien: Oh yes. And other fans. Drifters. Prisoners. Insomniacs. Cab Drivers, who must watch a lot of late night TV, seem to love me lately. They keep saying, "You will not pay, you will not pay, you make me happy!"
Playboy: How happy did your new contract make you? O'Brien: Terrified. The network said, "We're all set for five years." I said, "Shut up, shut up! I can't think that far ahead." Tonight, for instance, I do my jokes, then interview Elton John and Tim Meadows. We finished taping about 6:30. By 6:45 my memory was erased and my only thought was, Tomorrow: John Tesh. And I started to obsess about John Tesh. Sad, don't you think?
Playboy: Not too sad. You got off to a rocky start but now you're so hot that People magazine recently said, "that was then, this is wow." O'Brien: I try not to pay much attention. Since I ignored the critics who said I should shoot myself in the head with a German Luger, it would be cheating to tear out nice reviews now and rub them all over my body, giggling. Though I have thought about it.
Playboy: Tell us about your trademark gag. You interview a photo of Bill Clinton or some other celeb, and a pair of superimposed lips provide outrageous answers. O'Brien: We call it the Clutch Cargo bit, after that terrible old cartoon series. They saved money on animation by superimposing real lips on the cartoons. I wanted to do topical jokes in a cartoony way -- not just Conan doing quips at a desk. TV is visual; I want things to look funny. But we're not Saturday Night Live; we couldn't spend $100,000 on it. Hence, the cheap, cheesy lips, You'd be surprised how many people we fool.
Playboy: Viewers believe that's really the president yelling, "Yee-haw! Who's got a joint?" O'Brien: It's strange. You may know intellectually that Clinton doesn't talk like Foghorn Leghorn. Ninety-eight percent of your brain knows the president wouldn't say, "Whoa Conan get a load of that girl!" But there are a few brain cells that aren't sure. When Bob Dole was running for president we had him doing a past-life regression: "My cave, get away." And then back further, "Must form flippers to crawl on to rocky soil," he says. There may be people out there who believe that Bob Dole was the first amphibian.
Playboy: Do you ever go too far? O'Brien: The fun is in going too far. It's a nice device because you get Bill Clinton to do the nastiest Bill Clinton jokes. We'll have Clinton making fart noises while I say "Sir! Please!"
Playboy: Are you enjoying your job now, with your new success? O'Brien: Well, there are surprises. I hate surprises. Like most comics, I'm a control freak. But I am learning that the show works best when things are out of control. Tonight I ask Elton John if he likes being neighbors with Joan Collins. He says he isn't neighbors with Joan Collins. He lives next door to Tina Turner. So I panic -- huge mistake! But Elton saves the day. "Joan Collins, Tina Turner, it doesn't matter. Either way I could borrow a wig," he says. Huge laugh, all because I fucked up. Later he surprised me by blurting out that he's hung like a horse. The camera cuts to me shaking my head: That crazy Elton. What can I do? Of course, I'm delighted that he went too far.
Playboy: That "What can I do?" look resembles a classic take of Jack Benny's. O'Brien: There's an old saying in literature: "Good poets borrow; great poets steal." I think T.S. Eliot stole it from Ezra Pound. Comics steal, too. Constantly. When I watched Johnny Carson, I noticed that he got a few takes from Benny and Bob Hope. When a comedy writer told me how much Woody Allen had borrowed from Hope, I thought, What? They're nothing alike. Then I went back and watched Son of Paleface, and there's Hope, the nervous city guy backing up on his heels, wringing his hands and saying, "Sorry, I'll just be moving along." Now look at early Woody Allen. You see big authority figures and Woody nervously saying, "Look, I'll just be on my way." Of course Woody made it his own, but he must have watched and loved Bob Hope.
Playboy: Who are your role models? O'Brien: Carson. Woody Allen. SCTV. Peter Sellers. When Peter Sellers died I felt such a loss, thinking, There won't be anymore of that. There's some Steve Martin in my false bravado with female guests: "Why, hel-lo there!" And I won't deny having some Letterman in my bones.
Playboy: You were surprise as Letterman's successor. At first you seemed like the wrong choice. O'Brien: I didn't get ratings. That doesn't mean I didn't get laughs. Yes, I had a giant pompadour and I looked like a rockabilly freak. I was too excited, pushed too hard, and people said, "That guy isn't a polished performer." Fine! But it isn't my goal to be Joe Handsomehead cool, smooth talk show host. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is supposed to be a work in progress, and now that we've had some success there's a danger of our getting too polished and morphing into something smoothly professional. Which would suck.
Do you know why I wanted this show? Because Late Night with David Letterman played with the rules and it looked like fun. Here was a place where people did risky comedy every night for millions of people. We had to keep this thing alive. There should be a place on a big network where people are still messing around.
Playboy: How bad were your early days on the show? O'Brien: Bad. Dave left here under a cloud: his fans and the media were angry with NBC. Then NBC picks a guy with crazy hair and a weird name. And the world says, "Harvard? Those guys are assholes." I sincerely hope that the winter of December 1993, our first winter, was the worst time I will ever have. I'd go out to do the warm up and the back two rows of seats would be empty. That's hard to look at. I would tell a joke and then hear someone whisper, "Who's he? Where's Dave?"
Playboy: You had trouble getting guests. O'Brien: Bob Denver canceled on us. We shot a test show with Al Lewis of The Munsters. We did the clutch cargo thing with a photo of Herman Munster. Unfortunately, Fred Gwynne, who played Herman, had recently died, and Al Lewis kept pointing at the screen, saying, "You're dead! I was at your funeral!"
Playboy: For months you got worried notes from network executives. What did they say? O'Brien: They were worried. The fact that Lorne Michaels was involved bought me some time. But Lorne had turned to me at the start and said, "OK, Conan. What do you want to do?" Now television critics were after me and the network was starting to realize what a risk I was. Suggestions came fast and furious. I kept the note that said, "Why don't you just die?"
Playboy: Did they suggest ways to be funnier? O'Brien: They were more specific and tactical. The network gets very specific data. Say there was a drop in ratings between 12:44 and 12:48 when I was talking to Jon Bon Jovi. I'll be told, "Don't ever talk to him again" Or they'll want me to tease viewers into staying with us: "You should tease that -- say, 'We'll have nudity coming up next!'"
Playboy: You did come close to being cancelled. O'Brien: We were cancelled.
Playboy: Really? You have never admitted that. O'Brien: This is the first time I've talked about it. When I had been on for about a year, there was a meeting at the network. They decided to cancel my show. They said, "It's cancelled." Next day they realized they had nothing to put in the 12:30 slot, so we got a reprieve.
Playboy: Were you worried sick? O'Brien: I went into denial. I tried hard not to think, Yes, I'm bad on the air and my show has none of the things a TV show needs to survive. We had no ratings. No critics in our corner. Advertisers didn't like us. Affiliates wanted to drop us. Sometimes I'd meet a programming director from a local station where we had no rating at all. The guy would show me a printout with no number for Late Night's rating, just a hash mark or pound sign. I didn't dare think about that when I went out to do the show.
Playboy: Are you defending denial? O'Brien: How else does anyone get through a terrible experience? The odds were against me. Rationally, I didn't have much chance. Denial was my only friend. When I look back on the first year, it's like a scene from an old war movie: Ordinary guy gets thrown into combat, somehow beats impossible odds, staggers to safety. His buddy say, "You could have been killed!" The guy stops and thinks. "Could have been killed?" he says. His eyes cross and he faints.
Playboy: How did you dodge the bullet? O'Brien: There were people at NBC who stood up for me. I will always be indebted to Don Ohlmeyer, who stuck to his guns. Don said, "We chose this guy. We should stick with him unless we get a better plan." He was brutally honest. He came to me and said, "Give me about a 15 percent bump in the ratings and you'll stay on the air. If not, we're going to move on."
Playboy: Ohlmeyer started his career in the sports division. O'Brien: Exactly, his take was, "You're on our team." Of course, it wasn't exactly rational of Don to hope I'd be 15 percent funnier. It was like telling a farmer, "It better rain this week or we'll take your farm away."
Playboy: What did you say to Ohlmeyer? O'Brien: There wasn't time. I had to go out and do a monologue. But I will always be indebted to Don because he told me the truth. Wait a minute -- you have tricked me into talking lovingly about an NBC executive. Let me say that there were others who were beneath contempt -- executives who wouldn't know a good show if it swam up their asses and lit a campfire.
Playboy: Finally the ratings went your way. Hard work rewarded? O'Brien: Well, I also paid off the Nielsen people. That was $140,000 well spent.
Playboy: Ohlmeyer plus bribery saved you? O'Brien: There was something else. Just when everyone was kicking the crap out of the show, Letterman defended me.
Playboy: Letterman had signed off on NBC saying, "I don't really know Conan O'Brien, but I heard he killed someone." O'Brien: Then I pick up the paper and he's saying he thinks I am going to make it. "They do some interesting, innovative stuff over there," he says. "I think Conan will prevail." And then he came on as a guest. Remember, this was when we were at our nadir. There was no Machiavellian reason for David Letterman, who at the time was the biggest thing in show business, to be on my show.
Playboy: Why did he do it? O'Brien: I'm still not sure. Maybe out of a sense of honor. Fair play. And it woke me up. It made me think. Hey, we have a real fucking television show here.
Of six or seven pivotal points in my short history here, that was the first and maybe the biggest. I wouldn't be sitting here -- I probably wouldn't even exist today -- if he hadn't done our show.
Playboy: The Late Night wars were hardly noted for friendly gestures. O'Brien: How little you understand. Jay, Dave and I pal around all the time. We often ride a bicycle built for three up to the country. "Nice job with Fran Drescher!" "Thanks, pal. You weren't so bad with John Tesh." We sleep in triple-decker bunk beds and snore in unison like the Three Stooges.
Playboy: You talk more about Letterman than your NBC teammate Leno. O'Brien: I hate the "Leno or Letterman, who's better?" question. I can tell you that Jay has been great to me. He calls me occasionally.
Playboy: To say what? O'Brien: (Doing Leno's voice) "Hey, liked that bit you did last night." Or he'll say he saw we got a good rating. I call him at work, too. It can be a strange conversation because we're so different. Jay, for instance, really loves cars. He's got antique cars with kerosene lanterns, cars that run on peat moss. He'll be telling me about some classic car he has, made entirely of brass and leather, and I'll say, "Yeah, man, I got the Taurus with the vinyl." One thing we have in common is bad guests. There are certain actors, celebrities with nothing to say, who move through the talk show world wreaking havoc. They lay waste to Dave's town and Jay's town, then head my way.
Playboy: You must be getting some good guests. Your ratings have shown a marked improvement. O'Brien: Remember, when you're on at 12:30 the Nielsens are based on 80 people. My ratings drop if one person has a head cold and goes to bed early.
Playboy: Actually, you're seen by about 3 million people a night. Your ratings would be even higher if college dorms weren't excluded from the Nielsens. How many points does that cost you? O'Brien: I told you I'm an idiot. Now I have to do math too?
Playboy: Do you still get suggestions from NBC executives? O'Brien: Not as many. The number of notes you get is inversely proportional to your ratings.
Playboy: What keeps you motivated? O'Brien: Superstition. We have a stagehand, Bobby Bowman, who holds up the curtain when I run out for the monologue. He is the last person I see before the show starts, and I have to make him laugh before I go out. It started with mild jabs: "Bobby, you're drunk again." Bobby laughs, "Heehee."" Then it was, "Still having trouble with the wife, Bobby?" But after hundreds of shows, you find yourself running out of lines. It's gotten to where I do crass things at the last second. I'll put his hand on my ass and yell, "You fucking pervert!" Or drop to my knees and say, "Come on, Bobby, I'll give you a blow job!"
"Ha-ha. Conan, you're crazy," he says. But even that stuff wears off. Soon, I'll be making the writers work late to give me new jokes for Bobby.
Playboy: Did you plan to be a talk show host or did you fall into the job? O'Brien: I was an Irish Catholic kid from St. Ignatius parish in Brookline, outside of Boston. And that meant: Don't call attention to yourself. Don't ask for too much when the pie comes around. Don't get a girl pregnant and fuck up your life.
Playboy: Were you an alter boy? O'Brien: I wanted to be an alter boy, but the priest at St. Ignatius said, "No, no. You're good on your feet, kid," and made me a lector. A scripture reader at Mass. He was the one who spotted my talent.
Playboy: What did you think of sex in those days? O'Brien: I was sexually repressed. At 16 I still thought human reproduction was by mitosis.
Playboy: How did you get over your sexual repression? O'Brien: Who says I got over it? My leg has been jiggling this whole time.
Playboy: What were you like in high school? O'Brien: Like a crane galumphing down the hall. A crane with weird hair, bad skin and Clearasil. Big enough for basketball but lousy at it. My older brothers were better. I would compensate by running around the court doing comedy, saying, "Look out, this player has a drug addiction. He's incredibly egotistical."
I was an asshole at home, too. My little brother Justin loved playing cops and robbers, but I kept tying him up with bureaucratic bullshit. When he'd catch me, I'd say, "I get to call my lawyer." Then it was, "OK, Justin, we're at trial and you've been charged with illegal arrest. Fill out these forms in triplicate." Justin was eight; he hated all the lawsuits and countersuits. He just cried.
Playboy: Were you a class clown? O'Brien: Never. I was never someone who walked into a room full of strangers and started telling jokes. You had to get to know me before I could make you laugh. The same thing happened with Late Night. I needed to get the right rhythm with Andy and Max and the audience.
Playboy: So how did you finally learn about sex? O'Brien: My parents gave me a book, but it was useless. At the crucial moment, all it showed was a man and a woman with the bed covers pulled up to their chins. I tried to find out more from friends, but it didn't help. One childhood friend told me it was like parking a car in a garage. I kept worrying about poisonous fumes. What if the fumes build up? Should you shut off the engine?
Playboy: For all your talk about being repressed, you can be rowdy on the air. O'Brien: The show is my escape valve. When I tear off my shirt and gyrate my pelvis like Robert Plant, feigning orgasm into the microphone, that shows how repressed I am -- a guy who wants to push his sex at the lens but can only do it as a joke.
Playboy: Aren't you tempted to live it up? O'Brien: I always imagined that if I were a TV star I would live the way I pictured Johnny Carson living. Carousing, stepping out of a limo wearing a velvet ascot with a model on my arm. Now that I have the TV show, I drive up to Connecticut on the weekends and tool around in my car. I could probably join a free-sex cult, smoke crack between orgies and drive sports cars into swimming pools, and my Catholic guilt would still be there, throbbing like a toothache. Be careful. If something good happens, something bad is on the way.
Playboy: Yet you don't mind licking the supermodels. O'Brien: At one point a few of them lived in my building, women who are so beautiful they almost look weird, like aliens. To me, a woman who has a certain approachable amount of beauty becomes almost funny. It's the same with male supermodels. They look like big puppets. So while I admire their beauty I probably won't be "romantically linked" with a model. I'd catch my reflection in a ballroom mirror and break up laughing.
Playboy: The horny Roy Orbison growl you use on gorgeous guests sounds real enough -- O'Brien: Oh, I've been doing that shit since high school. It just never worked before.
Playboy: Your father is a doctor, your mother an attorney. What do they think of their son the comedian? O'Brien: My dad was the one who told me denial was a virtue. "Denial is how people get through horrible things," he said. He also cut out a newspaper article in which I said I was making money off something for which I should probably be treated. So true, he thought. But when I got an Emmy for helping write Saturday Night Live, my parents put it on the mantel next to the crucifix. Here's Jesus looking over, saying, "Wow, I saved mankind from sin, but I wish I had an Emmy."
Playboy: Ever been in therapy? O'Brien: Yes. I don't trust it. I have told therapists that I don't particularly want to feel good. "Repression and fear, that's my fuel." But the therapists said that I had nothing to worry about. "Don't worry Conan you will always be plenty fucked up."
Playboy: When a female guest comes out, how do you know whether to shake her hand or kiss her? Is that rehearsed O'Brien: No, and it's awkward. If you go to shake her hand and her head starts coming right at you, you have to change strategy fast. I have thought about using the show to make women kiss me, but that would probably creep out the people at home. I decided not to kiss Elton John.
Playboy: Do you get all fired up if Cindy Crawford or Rebecca Romijn does the show? O'Brien: I like making women laugh. Always have, ever since I discovered you can get girls' attention by acting like an ass. That's one of the joys of the show -- I'm working my eyebrows and going grrr and she's laughing, the audience is laughing. It's all a big put-on and I'm thinking. This is great. Here is a beautiful woman who has no choice but to put up with this shit.
But it's not always put on. Sometimes they flirt back. Sometimes there's a bit of chemistry. That happened with Jennifer Connelly of The Rocketeer.
Playboy: One guest, Jill Hennessy, took off her pants for you. Then you removed yours. Even Penn and Teller took off their pants. O'Brien: Something comes over me. It happened with Rebecca Romijn -- I was practically climbing her. Those are the times when Andy and the audience seem to disappear and it's just me and this lovely woman sitting there flirting. I keep expecting a waiter to say, "More wine, Monsieur?"
Playboy: Would you lick the wine bottle? O'Brien: It's true, there's a lot of licking on the show. I have licked guests. I have licked Andy. Comedy professionals will read this and say, "Great work, Conan. Impressive." But I have learned that if you lick a guest, people laugh. If I pick this shoe off the floor, examine it, Hmmm, and then lick it, people laugh. I learned this lesson on The Simpsons, where I was the writer who was forever trying to entertain the other writers. I still try desperately to make our writers laugh, which is probably a sign of sickness since they work for me now. Licking is one of those things that look funny.
Playboy: Johnny Carson never licked Ed McMahon. O'Brien: We are much more physical and more stupid than the old Tonight Show. Even in our offices before the show there's always some writer acting out a scene crashing his head through my door. A behind-the-scenes look at our show might frighten people.
Playboy: One night you showed a doctored photo of Craig T. Nelson having sex with Jerry Van Dyke. Did they complain about it? O'Brien: I haven't heard from them. Of course I'm blessed not to be a part of the celebrity pond. I have a television show in New York, an NBC outpost. I don't run with or even run into many Hollywood people.
Playboy: You also announced that Tori Spelling has a penis. O'Brien: I did not. Polly the Peacock said that.
Playboy: Another character you use to say the outrageous stuff. O'Brien: Polly is not popular with the network.
Playboy: You mock Fabio, too. O'Brien: If he sues me, it'll be the best thing that ever happened. A publicity bonanza: Courtroom sketches of Fabio with his man-boobs quivering, shaking his fist, and me shouting at him across the courtroom. I'm not afraid of Fabio. He knows where to find me. I'm saying it right here for the record: Fabio, let's get it on.
Playboy: Ever have a run-in with an angry celeb? O'Brien: I did a Kelsey Grammar joke a few years ago, something about his interesting lifestyle, then heard through the network that he was upset. He had appeared on my show and expected some support. At this point my intellect says, "Kelsey Grammar is a public figure. I was in the right." Then I saw him in an airport. Kelsey didn't see me at first: I could have kept walking. But there he was, eating a cruller in the airport lounge. I thought I should go over. I said hello and then said, "Kelsey, I'm sorry if I upset you." And he was glad. He looked relieved. He said, "Oh, that's OK." We both felt better.
....See my other post with the last third of the interview

Update: Bloons TD 6 v43.0 - Update Notes!
Available now for most platforms please restart your storefront or be patient if it does not appear for you, these updates can take some time to be rolled out to every region due to how the storefronts are set up.
Update Video: https://youtu.be/97SrSDiSNfk

Key New Features

• New Event, Boss Rush!
  • We are so psyched to release this event! We have heard the many requests for more Team activities, and after testing some functionality in Quests, we are so happy to release a very different way to play as a Team. Thank you for your feedback and patience, and we truly hope you enjoy!
  • Band together with allies to defend against the powerful Boss Rush threatening your Team. With multiple Boss threats looming on the horizon, you and your Team must work together to defend nearby islands from a variety of invaders!
  • To assist in pushing back the threat players are outfitted with Relic Knowledge to leverage and a number of Revive Shields that will recover you from 0 lives! But be careful, Revives are limited and each time one is triggered the Boss will rush closer to the exit.
  • These Bosses cannot be destroyed alone, so when defending any island your goal is to deal as much damage as you possibly can before they make it past. When your Team reaches enough combined total damage the island is successfully defended and you can progress to the next island, with a new Boss to defend against!
  • Between islands some monkey types must stay behind to defend, but additional Relic Knowledge will be acquired to assist in the next challenge.
  • Defend 5 islands, each with a fast paced Boss challenge against different Bosses out of the initial 3 available: Bloonarius, Dreadbloon & Phayze. (Vortex & Lych to be coming at a later date!).
  • Immediately after defending an island, all Team members can claim the island rewards!
  • For launch we are releasing with a pure Team focus without competitive leaderboards. This allows us to review balance and get feedback from players before making changes in future updates. Boss Rush has evolved to be much bigger than the minigame-like concept it was initially planned to be and we look forward to seeing all of your Teams defend their islands together!
  • The Event Timer shows when the next Boss Rush will start - less than a day after launch.
• New Code Redemption System
  • This new system will allow us to create gift packs that can be redeemed by anyone with the code for free in-game rewards, so keep an eye out for any codes we may share (or hide…) in future!
  • Due to privacy requirements, certain platforms won’t be able to enter the codes directly in the game. Instead, you will need to visit a Ninja Kiwi website where you can log in to your LiNK account and redeem the code.

New Awesome

• New Hero Rosalia! (responds to Lia for short!)
  • Jetpack Monkey joins the team! Try out Rosalia right away in her new trial quest! Rosalia is built to be a strong ‘set and forget’ hero who also happens to work well with a techbot. The ability to swap weapon to handle her own weaknesses exists for people who wish to play her as their sole DPS, but the power of both her weapons is balanced to scale up together at a fair rate so there's no reason not to pick a preferred weapon forever, and build the rest of your towers to cover any weakness left.
  • Rosalia freely jumps around her large workshop area, attacking faster the more Bloons are nearby while swapping between a powerful single target laser & bouncing cluster grenades to deal with different threats!
  • Enhanced special attacks for the 10th shot fired on either weapon, showering Bloons in a fog of explosions, or Shocking and pushing them back with powerful Plasma blasts
  • Reduce all upgrade costs for Monkey Ace & Heli Pilot, plus one other friend!
  • Lv3 Scatter Missile ability, to clean up Bloons with a barrage of powerful stuns
  • Lv7 Hover ANYWHERE and gain the Flight Boost ability to temporarily pursue Bloons everywhere around the track and temporarily boost the flight speed of Aces & Helis
  • Lv10 Kinetic Charge ability, which sticks MOAB-class Bloons with a charge that explodes after a short duration and amplifies this explosion based on the amount of damage that hits the target before the charge explodes. Focus fire!
  • You could try this code: ROSALIAROCKS
• New Beginner Map Tinkerton
  • Explore Rosalia’s workshop and help defend it against Bloon incursion! Who knew orange juice had so many uses?
• New Quests
  • Tinkerer’s Tutorial: discover Rosalia’s strengths and weaknesses
  • A Strange Bloonomaly: Dr. Monkey wants your help investigating some unusual Bloons
• New Trophy Store Items
  • Heroes: Obyn Wolf Dance placement animation for Standard Obyn
  • Monkeys: Boomer ‘Roo pet for the Boomerang Monkey
  • Bloons: BAD Scarab skin
  • Game & UI: Boomer and ‘Roo profile banner, Distinguished Gentlemonkey avatar
• Limited Time Trophy Store Item
  • Druid of the Rainbow avatar
• New CT Team Store items
  • Icons: Battle Monkey Icon
  • Frames: Boss Rush Clouds Frame

Game Changes / Additions

• Map Editor Beach items
  • It may be getting colder in New Zealand, but we know it’s getting back to beach weather for most of you!
  • Beach water path x1
  • Areas x2
  • Stamps x3
  • Props x22
• Map Editor ‘full path’ settings to modify how entire paths work
  • Set paths to be alternating, sequential, or a specific pattern
• Map Editor ‘path node’ settings to modify small sections within a path
  • Invulnerable MOABs: MOABs will not be targetable until the next node
  • Invulnerable Bloons: Bloons will not be targetable until the next node
  • All Bloon Speed: Speed modified by a set multiplier until the next node
  • Scale Bloon: Bloons will increase in visual size until the next node
  • Scale MOAB: MOABs will increase in visual size until the next node
• FPS is no longer capped by default, instead a 60 FPS limit can be enabled from the screen resolution menu

Bug Fixes & General Changes

• Endurance Roundset used in the Phayze One quest has been extended from 100 to 205 rounds, and now has naturally spawning Camo Bloons added
• David Vs Goliath achievement now works in Boss Challenge
• Resolved a crash that could occur when logging out
• Resolved a crash that could occur when exiting out of the received accolades menu too quickly after entering
• Resolved a case in which ‘login required’ could incorrectly display on arcade builds
• Unlocking a new hero should always select that new hero
• Resolved some UI overlap issues within Map Editor
• Resolved some minor visual issues with quests forcing hero level ups
• Map Editor vfx should no longer sometimes become locked to the player’s selection and block interaction / clicking on other items
• Resolved an issue that could sometimes fail to load the ‘My Teams’ button
• Resolved an issue where tower outlines would incorrectly misalign from the tower
• Improved resolution of the default App icon
• Restarting a game in the Content Browser should no longer render that run invalid for the ‘first winner’ slot
• The ‘messages’ page is now loaded by default when interacting with the My Team button
• Income modifiers used in challenge rules should correctly apply to all sources of income

Event bug fixes

• Team island props should once again animate when interacted with
• Game should no longer crash when in the Odyssey scene as the event ends

Map Specific Fixes

• Protect the Yacht quest map’s Boss Spawn Point art has been corrected
• Protect the Yacht quest map should no longer use the #ouch odyssey statue

Tower Specific Fixes

Tack Shooter

• 5xx Inferno Ring’s fire aura is now visually disabled when VFX slider is set to 0%

Ice Monkey

• x3x Arctic Wind ice aura is now visually disabled when VFX slider is set to 0%

Glue Gunner

• x4x Glue Gunner can no longer debuff Dreadbloon in Primary Immune phase

Monkey Sub

• x5x Pre-Emptive Strike now works on Castle’s Revenge
• Resolved a crash that could occur when building a sub paragon as Vortex spawns.
• 3xx+ Monkey Sub aura no longer shrinks with the VFX slider, but is disabled at 0%

Monkey Buccaneer

• 4xx Aircraft Carrier planes now have camo restored when Polyphemus Eye is opened
• xx4 Favored Trades no longer increases the sell value of towers in CHIMPS above $0

Heli Pilot

• Swapping to Lock in Place while moving should no longer visually jam the rotation

Super Monkey

• Resolved a hypersonic automatic blink teleport attacks issue that never happened in a live build but is kinda fun to talk about, and honestly less hype than i’m making it out to sound anyway.

Hero Specific Fixes

Gwendolin

• Lv4 Gwendolin's Heat It Up buff no longer fails to apply if the attack runs out of pierce
• Resolved a buggy visual that could occur when Heat It Up attacks too fast

Etienne

• Etienne should no longer consume the ‘Box of Monkey’ Relic Knowledge

Geraldo

• Resolved a rare crash that could occur when using hotkeys
• Resolved an issue where Geraldo’s skin displayed the wrong portrait when viewing the full upgrades page

Corvus

• Resolved a crash that could occur when sold at Lv2

Platform Specific fixes

• [Vision Pro] Gentlemonkey Geraldo skin should now show on the Monkey Tray

Balance Changes

The combination of towers you are able to pass round 1 with can change quite a lot in any overall strategy, especially for more restrictive game modes, so for this update we have made an effort to open up new starter combinations with improvements to a number of initial placement towers.

Tower Balance

Dart Monkey
While we have been working to increase this niche with many new maps, Juggernaut’s functions sub-optimally for the majority of current maps in the game as the knockback doesn’t scale well without good rebound opportunities; to help with this we’re increasing their knockback force slightly with even more emphasis on the less-favored crosspath. We are slightly reducing the cost of Super Monkey Fan Club to overall improve the value of taking multiple to maintain higher uptime

• 4xx Juggernaut Knockback duration increased 0.1s > 0.15
• 402 Juggernaut Knockback to heavy targets 1.5 > 2.25
• 402 Juggernaut Knockback to light targets 3 > 4.5
• x4x Super Monkey Fan Club price reduced $8000 > 7500

Boomerang Monkey
Boomerang base price is being slightly reduced, already a decent start in many cases though this seemed enough to make slight game start changes and price it differently to other towers. The main attack for MOAB Domination has been scaled up as overall it is a good upgrade but the pierce on this main attack was previously unchanged from the T3. Glaive Lord’s main thrown attacks will now be able to bounce back again and hit the same target multiple times, this can be a very powerful effect so there is a cooldown on how frequently any single Bloon can be re-targeted.

• Boomerang Monkey price reduced $325 > 315
• xx5 Moab Domination Main projectile pierce increased 18 > 54
• 205 Moab Domination Main projectile pierce increased 27 > 81
• 5xx Glaive Lord main attack can bounce back to the same target: cooldown 0.6s

Bomb Shooter
Bloon Crush does its job locking down all movement in an area, but we feel it could see more damage to reduce the stall time without the balance really changing much. Bomb Blitz was recently refitted to a cheaper price range while proportionally keeping a similar power level for the cost, however seeing it now in this spot we feel keeping higher damage will give it the edge it needs to feel more impactful than spamming Recursives.

• 5xx Bloon Crush damage increased 12 > 24
• 502 Bloon Crush Frags damage increased 12 > 24
• 502 Bloon Crush Frags bonus damage to ceramic 12 > 0
• xx5 Bomb Blitz damage increased 3 > 5

Tack Shooter
Tack is a very powerful base tower technically, but it is unable to achieve high uptime of that potential power in many early rounds, so some base cost is moving into the cheaper xx1 and xx2 upgrades to make it easier for other towers to start alongside the tack. Additionally, while we’ve held out on this change as there are strong use cases in prior upgrades, Blade Maelstrom lacks the single target punch to last late in Modern Bloons. While it is designed as a high pierce cleanup of low tier Bloons we want to try shifting some pierce to single target damage to feel good for longer.

• Tack shooter price reduced $280 > 260
• xx1 More Tacks price increased $100 > 110
• xx2 Even More Tacks price increased $100 > 110
• x4x Blade Maelstrom damage increased 1 > 2
• x4x Blade Maelstrom pierce reduced from 200 > 100
• x5x Super Maelstrom damage unchanged
• x5x Super Maelstrom pierce reduced 500 > 300

Glue Gunner
Increased duration has limited use on upgrades that completely destroy targets anyway, so a better crosspath benefit is being added onto 401 glue puddles. Bloon Solver’s pierce is being reduced as it is over-overkill for how many Bloons you realistically see at once, but this reduction should not be noticed for most players. Glue Splatter stands out as weirdly expensive for T2, and is rarely even needed so we’re significantly cutting its price to bring it down to a more affordable range with less pierce, we hope this should make it more worth considering for splatter coverage over piercing. Now that Glue Storm is extremely good for damage type & debuff support we’re removing the bonus speed reduction that should otherwise require xx2 crosspath and lowering the duration of the Glue Storm. New Relentless Glue finally offers something quite powerful so cost is slightly increasing.

• 401 Stickier Glue allows track puddles to last +1 round
• 5xx The Bloon Solver pierce reduced 5 > 4
• x2x Glue Splatter price reduced $1450 > 970
• x2x Glue Splatter pierce buff reduced 3 > 2
• x5x Glue Storm ability ‘storm’ duration reduced 20s > 15
• x5x Glue Storm ability glue slow 75% > 50%
• 052 Glue Storm ability glue slow 90% > 75%
• xx4 Relentless Glue price increased 3000 > 3400

Sniper Monkey
Lower tier Shrapnel crosspathing balance doesn’t feel great currently, so the damage crosspath benefits at T1 & T2 are improving. Even with the high damage per shot, Cripple MOAB still has low value outside of debuff capability, we feel that these shots pack enough of a punch now that they should do a little collateral damage - so lets do it! (we’ve also increased shrapnel pierce at this tier to not tip crosspath balance too far to one side).

• 120 Shrapnel Shot damage increased from 1 > 2
• 220 Shrapnel Shot damage increased from 2 > 3
• 320 Shrapnel Shot damage unchanged (4)
• 520 Cripple MOAB’s Shrapnel Shot pierce increased from 2 > 3
• 5xx Cripple MOAB now damages Bloons around the main target
  • Radius 8
  • Pierce 10
  • Damage 28

Monkey Sub
Bloontonium Reactor’s unsubmerged damage is increasing to encourage unsubmerged possibilities. The bonus to Lead on Reactor currently doesn't apply to T5, so this bonus is being carried up and improved along with a small price reduction to Energizer as strategies using it have fallen somewhat in viability. Nautic Siege Core’s hero buff is being improved as currently this is an under-utilized part of the tower.

• 4xx Bloontonium Reactor dart & airburst damage 1 > 2
• 520 Energizer gains bonus damage to Lead +5 when submerged
• 502 Energizer price reduced $32,000 > 31,000
• Paragon Hero attack cooldown increase reduced 1.5x > 1.3
• Paragon Hero damage multiplier increased 4x > 5x

Monkey Buccaneer
While buccaneer is technically already a very good starter tower for maps that happen to have ideal spots allowing it to attack in both directions we feel this situation isn’t common enough that the tower should be priced around that expectation - this reduced cost is added back to top and bottom T3 upgrades as they do not need the buff. As the paragon has exceptionally powerful scaling mechanics as well as being a paragon that continues to produce cash the XP Unlock requirement is increasing, this increase will not affect players who have already unlocked it.

• Buccaneer price reduced $500 > 400
• 300 Destroyer price increased 2950 > 3050
• 003 Merchantman price increased 2300 > 2400
• Navarch unlock XP increased 500,000 > 750,000

Monkey Ace
Minor catchup changes to some parts have fallen out of line slightly due to balance changes for other parts of the Ace.

• x1x Exploding Pineapple attack cooldown reduced 1.7s > 1.6s
• xx5 Flying Fortress radial dart damage increased from 3 > 6

Ace - Goliath Doomship
A lot of stats shuffled around here; this should keep the power level roughly similar overall but with proportionally more of that power coming from the seeking attacks, and less from micro aiming the faster firing frontal gun.

• Seeking Radials projectile count increased 4 > 8
• Seeking Radials damage increased 200 > 300
• Seeking Radials boss bonus increased 200 > 300
• Non-seeking Radials projectile count reduced 16 > 12
• Non-seeking Radials damage increased 200 > 300
• Non-seeking Radials boss bonus increased 200 > 300
• Frontal Gun damage reduced 300 > 150
• Frontal Gun boss bonus reduced 300 > 150

Heli Pilot
Overall Comanche cleanup and stats shuffle; with the goal of improving baseline non-buffed performance and making it less demanding of Geraldo’s Pickle for high damage.

• x5x Special Poperations Marine can now be sold in CHIMPS
• xx4 Comanche Defense mini's attack rate 0.151848 > 0.228
• xx5 Comanche Commander mini heli dart damage increased 2 > 3
• xx4 Comanche Defense mini's missile damage 1 > 4
• xx4 Comanche Defense mini's missile pierce 80 > 60
• xx4 Comanche Defense mini's missile ceramic bonus increased 1 > 2
• xx4 Comanche Defense mini's missile moab bonus removed 2 > 0
• xx5 Comanche Commander mini's missile ceramic bonus increased 1 > 10
• xx5 Comanche Commander mini's missile moab bonus removed 8 > 0

Mortar Monkey
Artillery Battery use has really exploded (!) and over the past few updates it has been sitting fairly steady in a great spot, the current power level feels good but we don’t want to create too big of a gap from the T3 yet so only a very slight cost increase. Blooncineration’s 025 crosspath currently works so much better with external buffs so we're tweaking the 205 crosspath to feel better in some situations.

• x4x Artillery Battery price increased $5500 > 5900
• 105 Blooncineration walls of fire pierce increased 25 > 36
• 205 Blooncineration walls of fire damage increased 2 > 3

Wizard Monkey
Wizard has a weaker base tower so the base cost is going down in exchange for a small price increase to the cost to value ratio for the effective Arcane Mastery. As Fireball becomes very forgotten at higher tiers and is hard to even see at Dragon’s Breath, we’re improving the crosspath and adding even more projectiles at T3 for wider explosive coverage. As Shimmer is the slowest de-camo in the game it is important that it not miss when it does trigger, so pierce is greatly increased. Wizard Lord Phoenix’s Wall of Fire hasn’t had any meaningful upgrade progression, so its damage is being increased. Magus is one of the more in-depth Paragons to use effectively so having it as one of the cheapest to unlock didn't feel right, the unlock XP requirements for this and Ninja are being swapped around.

• Wizard price reduced $375 > 325
• 3xx Arcane Mastery price increased $1300 > 1400
• xx3 Shimmer pierce increased 200 > 500
• 210 Fireball crosspathed damage increased 1 > 2
• x3x Dragon's Breath fireball projectile count increased 1 > 3
• x3x Dragon's Breath fireball damage reduced 9 > 3
• x3x Dragon's Breath pierce reduced 4 > 3
• x5x Wizard Lord Phoenix wall of fire attack damage 3 > 5
• x5x Dragon's Breath fireball damage reduced from 27 > 9
• Wizard Paragon unlock cost increased from 500,000 > 1,000,000

Super Monkey
Super Monkey projectiles already travel most the map length so that total distance is being reduced and adding back via the range-focused middle crosspath. The recent Robo/Tech Terror nerfs had a larger impact on the Anti-Bloon, so it is seeing a larger compensatory price reduction. Legend of the Night’s special passive ability is being failsafe limited to 2 activations per round, per tower.

• Supermonkey projectile speed reduced 280 > 200
• x2x Epic Range projectile speed bonus 25% > 75% (remains 350)
• x5x The Anti-Bloon upgrade cost reduced from $80,000 > 70,000
• xx5 Legend of the Night ability max uses per round: 2

Ninja Monkey
While a great early game option, Ninja generally struggles with dominant crosspathing choices and also has relatively poor base tower value. Without going into every single change, T3s onward remain relatively unchanged with a lot of prices below T3 being moved around from less favorable crosspaths into bettehigher tier upgrades. Ninja Paragon is very simple to use so unlock XP requirements for this and Wizard Paragon are swapping around so Ninja is the faster unlock. This increase will not affect players who have already unlocked it.

• Ninja Monkey price reduced $500 > 400
• Ninja Monkey attack cooldown reduced from 0.7 > 0.62
• 1xx Ninja Monkey attack cooldown reduced 38% > 30 (all attacks)
• xx2 Caltrops attack cooldown reduced 4.4 > 3.9
• xx4 Sticky Bomb attack cooldown reduced 5 > 4.5
• 1xx Ninja Discipline price increased $300 > 350
• 3xx Double Shot price increased $850 > 900
• x1x Distraction price reduced $350 > 250
• x2x Counter Espionage price reduced $500 > 400
• x3x Shinobi Tactics price increased $900 > 1200
• xx1 Seeking Shuriken price increased $250 > 300
• xx2 Caltrops price increased $400 > 450
• Ninja Paragon unlock cost reduced 1,000,000 > 500,000

Druid
Passive life generation is being removed in favor of the active ability being the only source of life generation, this allows druid-focus strategies to no longer ‘accidentally’ heal their Vengeance buffs away. Heart of Vengeance itself has been allowed to remain overpowered for a long time since life loss is not always an option in different challenges/modes, but with newer competitive modes being added over time that do allow for this mechanic to be, overindulged, shall we say, it feels due for substantial rebalance.

• x4x Jungle's Bounty now generates 1 life per ability cast
• x4x Jungle's Bounty no longer passively generates 1 life per round
• x5x Spirit of the Forest no longer passively generates lives per round
• xx2 Heart of Vengeance lost lives maximum rate bonus reduced 100% > 50

Banana Farm
Monkey Wall Street’s cost is being increased, but in return its special bonuses have been improved with more life generation and much more range for Banana collection.

• xx5 Monkey Wall Street price increased $60,000 > 70,000
• xx5 Monkey Wall Street range increased 60 > 75
• xx5 Monkey Wall Street lives per round increased 10 > 15

Spike Factory
Spike Storm is now exceptionally strong so the ability cooldown is increasing a small amount along with the T5 cost. This comes along with a crosspath rebalance granting more 042 lifespan. Long Life Spikes can start creating a nice buildup of spikes in advance but most of the time feels fairly meh as a stepping stone into Deadly Spikes, a little price here is being shifted up to improve standalone upgrade value.

• x4x Spike Storm cooldown increased 45s > 50
• x4x Spike Storm ability spikes minimum duration reduced 10s > 9
• x4x Spike Storm ability spikes maximum duration reduced 13s > 11
• 041 Spike Storm duration bonus for ability spikes increased 50% > 100%
• x5x Spike Storm ability spikes duration remains at 18-22s
• x5x Carpet of Spikes price increased $40,000 > 42,000
• xx3 Long Life Spikes price reduced $1400 > 1300
• xx4 Deadly Spikes price increased $3500 > 3600

Monkey Village
Primary Expertise’s own attack is unreliable due partly to low bounce distance, so this is being increased. Base level Monkeyopolis continues to over perform, so the baseline cash generation is reducing.

• 5xx Primary Expertise bounce distance increased 50 > 90
• xx5 Monkeyopolis base cash amount reduced $1250 > 1000

Engineer
While better than many options, base Engineer still takes a lot of available starting cash so the cost is reduced slightly and being moved back up into Cleansing Foam & Bloontrap; also with a reduction to Double Gun’s price to reflect the lower value of the base tower. Sentry placements are slightly changing to improve their reliability, and will now spawn closer to the track depending on how much range the sentry has. Sentry Champion, while strong with them, is lacking without high buff support so we’re trying out an increase to the sentry damage on it.

• Engineer price reduced $400 > 350
• 1xx Sentries now spawn within 20% of their range to the track
• 5xx Sentry Champagne damage increased from 2 > 3
• x3x Cleansing Foam price increased $850 > 900
• x4x Overclock foam pierce 10 > 15
• xx3 Double Gun price reduced $500 > 450
• xx4 Bloontrap price increased $3500 > 3600

Beast Handler
In going over our large list of price changes for Beast Handler’s lower tiers in 42 this change was received very positively, however we did not realize that in making this change we killed off all chance of dual-beast handlers being used as a round 1 starting option for under $650 in hard modes – So we gotta do that math all over again and convert it for difficulty, painful 😀 All T1 beast prices changed to allow 110 & 101 beast handler combos to be placed for under $650 in hard mode, all T2 & T3 prices shifted around to keep these same cost ratios.

• 1xx Piranha price reduced 170 > 160
• 2xx Barracutie price reduced 850 > 810
• 3xx Great White price reduced 2075 > 2010
• x1x Microraptor price reduced 195 > 175
• x2x Adasaurus price reduced 890 > 830
• x3x Velociraptor price reduced 2170 > 2065
• xx1 Gyrfalcon price reduced 210 > 190
• xx2 Horned Owl price reduced 940 > 860
• xx3 Golden Eagle price reduced 3150 > 2120

Orca is very strong currently but Great White doesn’t do so much outside of max merge MOAB Takedowns, so damage is increasing to improve these non-maxed situations.

• 3xx Great White damage increased from 8 > 12
• 3xx Great White damage range increased from 16 > 24

Similar to Sentries, Beast spawn placement will now scale closer to the track based on how much range the beast has.

• 1xx Piranha now spawn within 20% of their range to the track
• x1x Microraptor now spawn within 30% of their range to the track

Golden Eagle has stood out more than Condor against MOABs which has felt very wrong, last update it was nerfed against MOABs and now we are playing with the pierce & penalties to improve Golden Eagle further against non-MOAB-Class targets and for Condor more help with lower MOABs.

• xx3 Golden Eagle pierce increased from 15 > 30
• xx3 Golden Eagle pierce range increased from 30 > 60
• xx3 Golden Eagle MOAB pierce penalty increased from 44 > 1089
• xx3 Golden Eagle attack cooldown range from 0.28679625 > 0.28
• xx4 Condor Unchanged by any above changes
• xx4 Giant Condor ceramic penalty reduced from 1 > 0
• xx4 Giant Condor BFB penalty reduced from 44 > 29

We’re slightly reducing beast reposition cooldown as the tiny range leaves movement very tight, which is especially painful for Microraptor path given the low range.

• Beast Handler move cooldown reduced from 3s > 2

Hero Balance

Quincy
Quincy’s Rapid Shot starts with an extremely short duration that slowly increases over levels, the difference between min and max is huge but it doesn’t feel too impactfully increased at any point through the leveling up process, so we are increasing the base duration and instead moving the buff up to max duration all into his Lv13 which currently doesn’t do much.

• Quincy no longer gains 0.5s Rapid Shot duration per level
• Lv3 Rapid Shot duration increased 3.5s > 8
• Lv13 now also increases Rapid Shot duration 8.5s > 12

Gwendolin
Gwendolin’s Heat it Up was recently reworked to allow for much more frequent triggering from attacks, however the 4.5s internal cooldown still limits it from being scaled up far so that internal cooldown is now also being reduced. Additionally, Heat it Up’s bonus buff to damage against Lead targets has been improved slightly so we can get more out of that niche.

• Lv4 Heat it Up minimum delay reduced from 4.5s > 1.5s
• Lv17 Heat it Up buff to Lead type increased from +1 > 2

Obyn Greenfoot
Obyn isn’t necessarily the best support for every type of Druid to reach its highest DPS, but with his more easy reliable design it feels appropriate for him to solve Druid’s biggest weaknesses in a more laid back approach with:

• Lv8 ‘Nature’s Wrath’ additionally grants camo detection to Druids in radius

Benjamin
Benjamin’s Cyber Security and Skimming levels have been swapped around so that the early game skimming cash snowball doesn’t come quite so soon, and Cyber Security can come in earlier where it will make a bigger impact proportionally to the lives being lost.

• Swap the levels for Lv6 Cyber Security and Lv4 skimming

Admiral Brickell
We’ll probably regret this, but the nerf made people very sad, and that is not a life goal 😢

• Lv18 Mega Mine cooldown 45s > 40

Etienne
Etienne's drones are prone to missing due to very low projectile speed, this speed is increasing a fair amount to help with this as drones already have an inability to directionally aim well.

• Lv1 Faster projectile speed for all drones 150 > 250

Psi
Purple Popping is underwhelming with how late it comes online, so this is swapping around with level 11’s slightly faster pop speed.

• Lv11 (Faster Popping) & Lv13 (Purple Popping) swapped

Geraldo
Geraldo has been far too powerful for a while and all-round nerfs are coming to many outstanding aspects, however in return a little quality of life is coming with some more forgiving stock capacities and much more flexible Fertilizer; with the % benefit being reduced in return for improved replenish rate, maximum stock and the ability to now work on all Banana Farm types.

• Lv2 Action Figure price reduced $700 > 650
• Lv6 Worn Cape restock rate reduced 5 > 7
• Lv6 Worn Cape cape max stock increased 2 > 3
• Lv7 Blade Trap max stock increased 3 > 4
• Lv9 Fertilizer cash bonus reduced 25% > 20
• Lv9 Fertilizer max stock increased 2 > 4
• Lv9 Fertilizer rounds to replenish reduced 5 > 3
• Lv9 Fertilizer will now work on all Banana Farms
• Lv13 Shooty Turret v2 damage reduced 7 > 6
• Lv8 Gerry’s Fire duration reduced 10r > 5
• Lv16 Gerry’s Fire v2 duration remains 10r
• Lv11 Jar of Pickles bonus to fortified removed 1 > 0
• Lv16 Jar of Pickles bonus to fortified reduced 2 > 1

Corvus
As Corvus’s power is still considerably top-heavy the mid game performance is being improved with buffs to underused spells, but also top-end power of his 2 most powerful level 20 spells is being reduced to lessen the pressure to ‘need’ to get this far.

• Lv1 Spear pierce increased from 3 > 4
• Lv3 Soul harvest cooldown 35s > 40s
• Lv5 Aggression initial mana cost 80 > 50
• Lv7 Malevolence tick rate 0.5s > 0.3s
• Lv14 Malevolence damage 3 > 5
• Lv20 Might damage 400 > 300
• Lv20 Overload damage 4000 > 3000

Relics
Minor tweaks to Heartless which feels it has no competitive edge over most other Relics & Monkey Boost which overperforms on all available tiles.

• Heartless now ‘disables’ Regrow Bloons: Regrow rate increased 150% > 10,050%
• Monkey Boost granted uses of the Monkey Boost power reduced 3 > 2

Some Relics required more functional changes. As more range is situational and sometimes detrimental Going the Distance has been merged with Durable Shots to also grant increased Lifespan, Durable Shots now instead increases the pierce of all towers. As ‘Popping White Bloons’ is also far too situational Deep Heat now also grants Frozen Bloon popping and improves the duration of Freezes.

• Going the Distance now also provides Lifespan +30%
• Durable Shots no longer grants increased lifespan
• Durable Shots now grants towers increased pierce +25%
• Deep Heat now also allows all attacks to pop 'Frozen'
• Deep Heat now also grants Freezes longer duration +10%
• Deep Heat now also allows Freezes to last extra layers +1

Boss Bloons
Bloonarius
This is really just for fun, bringing increased variety of Bleed Bloons from higher tier Bloonarius

• Elite Tier 4: Bleed Bloons from 12 MOABs > 8 MOABs + 2 BFBs
• Elite Tier 5: Bleed Bloons from 8 DDTs > 6 DDTs + 2 fort ZOMGs

Dreadbloon
Rock Bloons in the higher tiers of Normal Dreadbloon are very outscaled, and so their health values are being increased.

• Normal Tier 4: Rock Bloon HP increased 5000 > 9000
• Normal Tier 5: Rock Bloon HP increased 12000 > 22500

Phayze
In Elite mode Phayze’s speed bonus while shielded is being reduced by 5% across the board as it felt just a little too quick.

• Elite Tier 1 shielded speed bonus reduced from 50% > 45%
• Elite Tier 2 shielded speed bonus reduced from 55% > 50%
• Elite Tier 3 shielded speed bonus reduced from 60% > 55%
• Elite Tier 4 shielded speed bonus reduced from 65% > 60%
• Elite Tier 5 shielded speed bonus reduced from 70% > 65%

I made a post here a few days ago. I have been to the ER countless times for pain in my abdomen right where my gallbladder is. Began a few months ago with pain in my upper right chest that radiates to back.
After weeks of waiting I finally got my HIDA scan today and the EF showed 89%. I am experiencing nightly attacks of nausea and pain in my gallbladder area like I’ve never felt before. I can’t work most days, can’t eat, can’t do anything. My life is falling apart and now this can says everything is normal?
What am I supposed to do from here. Please help if anyone has been in a similar situation.

Hi all,
I got a concussion in 2023, ever since then I’ve been more anxious and like my brain is overstimulated easily. Had to stop running on the treadmill or I would get dizzy which I could live with. Diagnosed with vestibular issues and working on retraining that in PT.
Fast forward 11 months out of my concussion, I’m at a red light in a busy area and suddenly get shaky, light headed and don’t trust my body. I really struggled with feeling my feet on the pedal and I felt one slight move I would crash. Imo classic panic attack and felt out of body.
I’m 2 months out from that initial occurrence, had a full workup with head CT, EKG and labs. My thyroid was hyperthyroid so I decreased my replacement thyroid medication which has been very helpful.
I got a workup with an audiologist to ensure it’s not my inner ear, and essentially she said after my concussion I’m getting silent migraines triggered by busy environments which def aligns with my symptoms but also I think I struggle with panic attacks when I start to feel the migraine.
Basically I was recommended cutting caffeine, taking magnesium, exposure therapy with driving but I would love to know from you all - how long did it take you to conquer this!? What helped you? Did you go the SSRI route?
Currently I am challenging myself to drive at least 20 minutes per day and it’s really hard. What’s difficult is that I’m scared I’ll be out of control or that the panic will take over me. I think getting easier but I have good and bad moments. I have propranolol if I need it but I’m trying not to rely on it. Highways and driving to work are the worst, I dread it all week. I’m a great driver and have always enjoyed driving so this being hardwired into my brain so suddenly has been one of the most trying things of my life.
Thank you so much

Going to attempt to keep this short but I will likely fail, I apologize in advance.
32F: My journey sort of started in January - ended up in the ER twice for what I thought was a heart attack- ran a bunch of tests on that, heart is fine. Had been having really severe heartburn/reflux for a few months leading up to that - my GP literally instantly thought GALLBLADDER and referred me for a GI consult. Not so fast, this isn't where this story ends. Had consult with GI in February for my symptoms at that time- diarrhea, occasional nausea, loss of appetite, stomach pain above bellybutton and left side, occasional blood in stool. Ordered a battery of stool samples, blood tests, and ordered a Colonoscopy & Endoscopy. All stool samples came back negative, blood samples all came back good. (Still can't eat hardly anything though without having severe stomach pain triggered, in a self-imposed strict bland diet). Had scopes in early March; endoscopy showed mild gastritis and healthy colon aside from a single benign polyp. Next they ordered an ultrasound and pancreatic enzyme panel- both were clear. Next they ordered a CT with contrast - also clear and let me tell you the contrast did me about as dirty as the colonoscopy prep! All the while, my pain is becoming near constant and I still am on an obscenely strict bland diet. So far, I've lost over 25lbs since first onset. I actually am now having URQ pain although most of the pain is centralized/spanning across upper abdomen. I can't stand to have any tight clothes on my stomach and am currently typing this while lying down from fatigue and pain. I have my next follow up with the GI on Monday - I'm hoping they will finally order a HIDA scan. I can barely function due to the pain and fatigue. I haven't gone to the ER because the pain usually ends up subsiding in the middle of the night and I don't have a fever. I haven't eaten anything besides grilled chicken with no spices, rice, potatoes, green beans, ensure, gluten free crackers, kinninkinnik cookes, gf oatmeal, and bananas for the past couple of months. Have any of you ever dealt with symptoms and prolonged diagnoses like this? If it's not my gallbladder at this point, I literally don't know what it could be. They tried me on a medication for IBS which did nothing whatsoever and carafate for the gastritis- which did help with gastritis pain but not any of other stomach pain or symptoms. Any shared experience or encouragement would be greatly appreciated - I'm feeling so defeated.

(Full disclosure I've not been diagnosed with CP and have never had a AP attack. Just need some advice regarding EPI).
I got diagnosed with EPI in September of '23, but I did not take enzymes as I was not in pain and all I had was some puffy loose stools (which I thought was harmless).
Retested in March of this year and still had EPI. Still no enzymes.
But come April I started having pain in my upper left abdomen. The pain is sometimes a pressure or a burning or a pinching. It wraps around my left flank and feels like it's in my colon. Not completely sure.
So I'm giving in and starting to take Zenpep for the EPI to see if it helps.
But is it possible that having poorly digested food pass through my colon for many months cause inflammation in my colon? Either by altering the microbiome or irritating the wall lining. I ask because my calprotectin came back slightly elevated at 85.
This is my current theory to explain the pain. Well not my theory, ChatGPT suggested it... Anyone else have this experience?
Other tests I've had (all clear): Abdominal CT a year ago Colonoscopy 2 years ago Endoscopy a few weeks ago
Other issues (resolved):
hyperactive gallbladder removed in November 2023
SIBO cured in April 2023

I got diagnosed with EPI in November of '23, but I did not take enzymes as I was not in pain and all I had was some puffy loose stools (which I thought was harmless).
Retested in March of this year and still had EPI. Still no enzymes.
But come April I started having pain in my upper left abdomen. The pain is sometimes a pressure or a burning or a pinching. It wraps around my left flank and feels like it's in my colon. Not completely sure.
So I'm giving in and starting to take Zenpep for the EPI to see if it helps.
But is it possible that having poorly digested food pass through my colon for many months cause inflammation in my colon? Either by altering the microbiome or irritating the wall lining. I ask because my calprotectin came back slightly elevated at 85.
This is my current theory. Well not my theory, ChatGPT suggested it... Anyone else have this experience?
Other tests I've had (all clear): Abdominal CT a year ago Colonoscopy 2 years ago Endoscopy a few weeks ago
Other issues (resolved):
hyperactive gallbladder removed in November 2023
SIBO cured in April 2023

This is my story so far. About 3-4 weeks ago I had a day of horrible bloating in my lower colon on my left side. So much air that would just build up, release, then come right back. While going through this I noticed I started feeling like I needed to pee ( figured from so much air and pressure) my abdomen literally could not go out any farther and it was so uncomfortable. Days after I took a good amount of magnesium citrate and cleared my colon. But noticed the urge to urinate was still very frequent. Then it developed into spasm feelings on and off, eventually urethral pain after peeing, sometimes for hours unless I absolutely chugged water, then it felt only slightly uncomfortable but I could still tell something was off. Through the day I have urgency and on and off mild to moderate urethra vaginal pain. Not so much pain really with urinating, just after especially in the morning when my urine is more concentrated. Gets better as I chug water through the day but sometimes I’ll still get urethra pain/spasms. I cut out coffee and gluten. Basically no dairy except for Kefir for my gut issues since those are a thing on top of this. The IC symptoms are new and not something I’ve dealt with in the past. It also developed about a month after returning from Aruba. My question is does this seem like sudden onset of IC? Or potential ureaplasma/mycoplasma? Since the symptoms are very similar. Any advice is appreciated because this is genuinely ruining my life.

Has anyone experienced acute hepatitis following laparoscopic excision surgery?
I recently underwent surgery with a nook surgeon and was recovering well, until 11 days post op I started to have severe upper back pain, nausea, fever, malaise, lack of appetite, headache, and dark urine.
I went to the ER and they found my liver levels were severely elevated. They did an ultrasound on my liver and did not find any gallstones. They did a CT scan of my abdomen which was normal. They ran bloodwork for viral hepatitis (Hep A, B, C, EBV) which were all normal. My lipase was normal. I was not taking excessive amounts of Tylenol, I was not drinking alcohol, and I had a normal amount of anesthesia during the surgery. I have no known pre-existing liver disease and no family history of liver disease.
I have an appointment with a hepatology clinic soon but I’m hoping to find someone who has experienced something similar.
Thank you ❤️

Impression

* Extensive FDG-avid mediastinal and bilateral hilar lymphadenopathy. Small FDG-avid left internal mammary and bilateral lower medial cervical lymph nodes. Differential considerations include malignancy (such as lymphoma) versus an inflammatory process (such as granulomatous disease). Correlation with tissue sampling advised.

FINDINGS:
NECK: Extensive bilateral physiologic brown fat uptake. Superimposed small FDG-avid bilateral medial supraclavicular lymph nodes.
Retention cyst in the left inferior maxillary sinus.
CHEST: Extensive FDG-avid mediastinal and bilateral hilar lymphadenopathy. For example, approximate 3.3 x 2.6 cm right subcarinal lymphadenopathy on image 4:100 with maximum SUV 16/peak SUV 15. For example, 2.4 cm right paratracheal lymphadenopathy on image 4:85 with maximum SUV 13/peak SUV 11. Small FDG-avid left internal mammary lymph node.
Superimposed physiologic brown fat uptake. Indeterminate foci of intramuscular uptake in the right posteromedial chest wall.
Similar ill-defined opacities and atelectasis in the lungs.
ABDOMEN/PELVIS: No suspicious uptake.
Possible diffuse fatty infiltration of the liver. Nonspecific mild diffuse urinary bladder wall thickening. Small umbilical hernia containing fat.

I have standard CZ stud earrings right now. I want to get lab emerald studs though. A local jewelry store I’ve bought some gold chains from before is quoting me about $500 for 1.0ctw (0.5 ct each ear) lab emeralds (just the gem itself). Then I googled. Came across Etsy and I see people selling ‘5mm round cut hydrothermal lab emeralds’ for $15 each gem?
Obviously this seems like one of those too good to be true moments but it has good reviews and from what I’ve read hydrothermal is a good way to create these lab emeralds.
I just need the gem as the company who does my piercing will send them to BVLA to set but I have no idea where I should be looking. I live in Canada. Any help on where to buy or what prices I should be looking for around if I’m buying just the gem. Thanks a lot.

Hey! I have cheek abscess after a wisdom teeth extraction that got infected. I had the doctor drain some of the puss from a cut he made inside the mouth, but I have huge abscess in my cheek or maybe even a few diffrent pockets. My eye is swollen ad well and I'm afraid it is getting there. I think the whole swollen chick is filled with pus. The upper cheek area close to the eye is hard as stone, what does it mean? Is it just swollen tissue or it's infection or abscess?
The doctor managed to drain only part of the lower cheek, he said it will all go out in 1 or 2 days with the drain but nothing came out of it and it was the same, the day after I went to a dental ER, the doctor did the same exact procedure, I think he did it from the same cut, just a small amount of puss came out and still my whole cheek is insanely swollen and a lot of parts feel hard as stone wich make me worry. He said it will drained out but I feel like no puss is coming down the drain I'm the mouth. He said I should go to my dentist everyday to change the dressing and the "fabric tube" that suppose to drain. and just take amoxicillin 1000mg 3 times a day. Somehow I have the feeling he didn't even drained the areas of the cheek that needed draining, he was just repeating the same cut and direction as the dentist did. Here the doctors are so incompetent! I asked him to have a CT so it would be possible to see exactly where all the infections and he refused. I saw a vid on YouTube of some surgen that cut about 6,7 holes from the outside and drained all the abscess pockets separately. He was saving the patient life. I think my doctor should do the same but hopefully from the inside so I won't have scars. Before the infection will be all over the face!
What should I do?
Do you have any experience with this? I feel like no doctor here understand the situation.... (I live in a place with a known bad health care).

I’m sure you’re aware of the strong connection between trauma, stress and inflammation + disease in the body. I read the book “the deepest well” and it talks about the strong evidence connecting childhood trauma to future disease. As a highly stressed and sensitive person with trauma, I know the stress on my body has been taking a toll over the years. I’ve always dealt with inflammatory skin issues, but have been relatively healthy until now.
I started feeling an uncomfortable and painful feeling in my lower right abdomen last week, and i thought it might be appendicitis. I reluctantly went to the ER and got a CT scan. No appendicitis, but it revealed inflammation in my small intestine. Blood work also revealed a high White Blood Cell Count (indication of inflammation). I’ve been continuing to feel the painful feeling off and on, and it’s really scaring me. I will be following up with a primary doctor soon, but I’m really stressing in the meantime. My worst fear is cancer or an autoimmune disease.
It’s only in this last year that I’ve finally been able to create a lower stress life for myself. I’ve been in survival mode for so long and now I finally have a chance to focus on healing. I feel incredibly lucky to be able to do this, but I fear that it’s too late to prevent health damage. I will be doing my best to lower stress and stick to a healthy routine. It just sucks that there’s so much damage to undo. My mom died at 37 from cancer and that fear is always with me.
Has anyone had a similar experience? What helped you recover your health?

The last few weeks were an emotional dry-run of all the problems I will inevitably face if I keep drinking excessively. I am so grateful to learn I am still “healthy” (FOR NOW) and feel like the universe gave me a “freebie” on so many health issues I was facing.
It’s been scary, especially because even with the looming possibilities of kidney failure, liver failure/cirrhosis, and colon cancer, I still couldn’t find it in myself to just be open with my loved ones and doctor about just how much I have drank for the past decade. These concerns were not hypochondria but based on results from recent tests/imaging:
-I either wrote something down wrong, or my doctor misread my most recent blood work, because I don’t have kidney failure/disease… my kidney filtration rate is 125, not 59.
-The full abdominal ultrasound showed everything normal except a 3x enlarged liver. But I don’t need further testing, because my blood work already cleared my liver function as good. It’s just a massive, 21” fatty liver. And the discomfort around my abdomen is gone.
-And my colonoscopy came back normal. I guess the colon inflammation that showed up on my CT scan must have been a one-off, or somehow related to my appendicitis.
I refuse to keep living a lifestyle that creates these risks. I was waiting to hear that I only have a few months left, I’m already at stage 4, etc. I feel like the universe just gave me the biggest, warmest, most supportive hug to encourage me to be better.
I’m grateful to have another chance to be the best version of myself and stop drinking.

1. https://www.judiciary.uk/prevention-of-future-death-reports/karmchand-gulzar-prevention-of-future-deaths-report/

Patient under MHA presented to ED with acute abdomen, seen by PA and an EM consultant after who diagnosed bowel obstruction and referred to ED. Due to bed pressures, patient stayed in ED for 6hrs during which he deteriorated and was ultimately intubated, brought to CT and theatres after, where he sadly died on the table.
The coroner and trust later blamed "junior doctors" who are unaware that acute abdomens should have an urgent CT scan (???). This was obviously because he was seen by a PA who can't request these scans?? What does this have to do with us "junior" doctors and why are they dragging us into this?
I'm willing to bet the EM consultant was falsely reassured by the PA's story when this case was discussed with them. If he was initially seen by a doctor, I'm 99% sure the patient would have gotten an urgent CT and referred to surgeons.
Edit: I've removed the second inquest involving an ANP as it was too vague to comment on