It feels so wrong for liking him but I can't stop!! I keep accidentally making eye contact in class or he'll just randomly say hi to me when he gets the chance, its driving me crazy.
I should probably provide context tho- My(15F) friend (16F) dated this dude(16M) last year for a few months but they broke up on "good terms" according to her, yet he came crying to me in dms about how he doesn't know what to do with his life anymore. So I told him to get over her and he took my harshness surprisingly well and even sent me a follow up message asking how I was a few weeks later. And of course I told her about all his messages and I didn't end up responding to the follow up message-
But now she's moved away and I've started to like him.. Worst thing I don't even have his contacts anymore because I deleted them, so if I wanna talk to him it has to be in person- What do I do?? Is it even okay to be liking him??
TL;DR: I have a crush on the ex of my friend who moved away

Why is unrequited love so hard to get over
For reference I’m 18 M
To me was a bestfriend, she was someone that I never really expected to come into my life at that specific time but she did. Her and I had met at my school ball, she was one of my friends dates of which she didn’t like him and he liked her. I reached out to her one day because he wasn’t speaking very highly of her and then I guess the rest is history. I never ever had the intention to be anything with her she was so far out of my league; I mean she really is beautiful it’s amazing. But after that one message I sent her we just kept talking.
I met her at a time in my life where I was struggling to get over my ex… my only ex, it’s the same as what’s happening now I was hurt and couldn’t get over her but she helped me with that. I thoroughly believe that she got me over my first love and now I’m stuck not being able to get over her because ause I’m one of those boys that just feels hard. Once I feel i really feel. I am way too loyal for my own good. And she knew that she knew I had been hurt, she told me her fears about love and we both worked with each other unknowingly to get through that. What we didn’t know is what would eventually happen. This whole 1 year talking stage i had with her we really were pretty much together. I saw her a lot, dropped flowers off at her house randomly when she was sad, during wace she kept breaking down and everytime i knew she was I went over to hers with her favourite stuff for her, we were so many of each others firsts and it was incredible. I truly believe that is the deepest I will ever feel for anyone.
I eventually worked up the courage to ask her out and ask her to be mine. There was a spot she loved to go to. This lake with a walkway and a gazebo thing in the middle, I lit up the whole walkway with candles and fairy lights over the gazebo and eventually I got rejected. She used year 12 as an excuse and I should have known that was the first red flag before what was to come. I could never understand why she said no. We did everything couples would do. I met her entire family, her grandparents and mum would hug me we would sleep together on Friday nights after school. I surprised her going to her dance concerts with her mum and dad, when she got her diagnosis I was there for her to cry in my arms, we were emotionally inseparable. I was flabbergasted.
Eventually a few months later her and I had a talk and I told her how I truly felt, and she knew how my heart works and she just said that her and I have to call it quits, she was scared of what happened to her sister would happen to her and that it was all so overwhelming.
The last words we ever spoke to each other still resonate with me so deeply. “I’m sorry we can’t, I love you” and that was that. And this this hit my like a train. My best mate has never ever seen me cry until that afternoon. He is and still is genuinely worried for me because he knew how much of an impact she made on my life. Everything that was bad about me I managed to pick out of my life for her, I became a better boy for her. She brought out the best in me. And for what I thought would only be a few months I was fucked over her, I couldn’t even try and talk to any other girls because I found myself looking for her in them, which I will never find it’s impossible. And really the feeling of being needed the feeling of unconditional love I miss it. She and I never dated I was never her boyfriend. I’m trying to let go so I can move onto people I do really like personally but it’s just so difficult and I don’t understand why
….its now been just over a year and I can’t get her out of my head. Why is it so hard

I, 29 M, recently started dating someone from work, 25 F. While I know this is really frowned upon and knew the potential risks, I ensured that my manager was aware about the whole ordeal.
I am in a managerial position (not her reporting manager though) and she was at an entry level position. I spent 7 years in this organization and this was the first time I even thought of getting involved with someone at work. But I think I made an exception here because of the kind of bond we shared.
It's been barely a month and I keep myself distant from office politics because well that's not my thing and I prefer being a people's manager.
Anyway, this girl applied for an IJP and while I motivated her for it, I was clear on keeping my involvement limited in anything directly related to her getting promotion.
I had helped her with a prep and everything outside of work during our personal time, but I wanted to ensure I didn't influence the outcome of her interviews.
The results were shared in a somewhat confusing way, wherein she initially thought she was selected and later the team confirmed that she wasn't.
However, she found a way to pin all of this on me. For some reason I wronged her by not telling her about favorism and all that bullshit.
In my defence, I keep myself clear on these things and I was someone who introduced the concept of PKTs and interviews at our workplace. Earlier, a manager could just pick someone and give that role to them.
I think I'm smart enough and have a pretty good idea of what happened with me here, but the relationship really felt real and I was all in.
Do you think I'm overlooking something and I'm failing to see some POV that somehow puts me in the wrong here?

This is my attempt at a re-submission due to some misunderstandings on the first attempt. I now know that there are different definitions of the word “ship”, but for the purposes of this article and to keep things simple I will use the definition of “a relationship that’s rushed and/or forced with no real development.” I hope you can understand as I do not know of any other single word to describe that concept. If you do, perhaps you can tell me. Also, fair warning, this is long form content (some 10 pages), if you like it but can’t read it all at once you can save it and come back to it over a period of time, or you can stop reading whenever you get tired of it and still discuss those parts of it with me that you have read. But keep it civil if you want a civil response.
With that, to qualify the title, no, Ezra and Sabine do NOT absolutely have to be a couple, but if they were to become one, it would NOT be a ship. Ezra and Sabine’s relationship has had years of development. Could they remain as simply friends? Yes, but ironically, it was their “friendship” that felt like more of a ship. It felt like the Ahsoka show, helmed by Dave Filoni, was going out of its way to tell us: “no, they’re not a couple, they’re just friends.”
I believe that Filoni made some very poor writing choices to stress something that didn’t really need to be stressed, such that it almost felt like he was in denial. The line “I love you like a sister” was never in Rebels, Filoni essentially had that retconned in, and like many I was put off by their (largely) emotionless reunion. Even if they were “just friends” I believe there would be a great deal more emotion displayed between two people that hadn’t seen each other in some ten years, especially when one of them was in a precarious situation when they parted. I also believe Ezra would be far more curious about Sabine being Force sensitive, perhaps even offering to help train her when she told him that her training hadn’t gone as well with Ahsoka. He did help to train her with the Darksaber, didn’t he? Why that never came up is another discussion, but for now, let’s focus on shipping.
In case you think I’m desperate to have them as a couple, no I’m not. I’m about the furthest thing from it. Like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers) I DESPISE shipping. Absolutely DESPISE it. With a flaming passion. Perhaps for this reason, and maybe some others, like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers), I’m generally wary of nearly all romance in fiction, and generally avoid it in my own work. The sad reality is that romance is perhaps the most abused genre in all of fiction, all throughout history. It has been so badly abused that many people, including myself for the longest time, have equated romance with shipping, though I’m slowly beginning to see that they are not the same thing, and one does not necessarily have to go with the other.
But sadly, many writers, through time immemorial, have not been able to separate them, going back into ancient times and perhaps even into pre-history, that is before languages were actually written down. Some of what is considered great literature; classics like Romeo and Juliet, are predicated on shipping, though at least the consequences of this “whirlwind romance” are shown to be fairly stark. Star Wars itself is no stranger to shipping, resulting in a very awkward incestuous kiss when Luke was shipped with Leia, then Leia was placed with Han and Lucas made Luke and Leia brother and sister, apparently having forgotten his original ship. Later Lucas essentially shipped Anakin and Padme, resulting in some of the most cringeworthy dialog in the history of film. Many fans of the Prequels even have been somewhat critical of Anakin’s portrayal, particularly in regards to the “romantic” scenes, with many describing them as “creepy”. Some have speculated that this was intentional, though personally I think it was just the result of bad writing on the part of George Lucas, and an impatience on his part for Anakin and Padme to become a couple, hence “shipping”.
One might wonder why this is so prevalent in fiction, and tragically, one does not have to look far. Fiction is merely a reflection of reality, therefore the reason that shipping is so common in our stories is that we fall so easily into it in real life. Indeed, entire cultures may be based around shipping, or at least very heavily wrapped up in it. Throughout history arranged marriages have been the norm, and the idea of marrying for “love” is something relatively new. To be fair, I’ve actually met people in arranged marriages who seemed to be fairly happy, but those same people were very open in telling me that many despise that aspect of their culture, and that it is quite normal for those in an arranged marriage to try to get out.
People might come together for “love” without marrying, but even then it often creates expectations that might turn into a burden. Even when a marriage is voluntary and for “love”, people are often left unsatisfied, such that today in the West the divorce rate is something like 50%. Happy, stable, long term relationships seem to be the exception across cultures and across the breadth and width of time. And yet pursuit of love and some kind of relationship seems to be the highest calling for many people, both in real life and in fiction. And it could be that the accumulated disgust is finally starting to boil over.
To be fair, this may not be the first time in history that the pendulum has shifted. You may recall that in Victorian times attitudes changed drastically, as compared to the previously bawdy Elizabethan times. Looking at a play from Shakespear, if you can understand the language, you’ll see all kinds of vulgar references, as well as what I believe are fairly sappy romances like in the aforementioned Romeo and Juliet, though I can’t say for certain whether Shakespear was actually endorsing that type of attitude towards “love” or presenting it as a cautionary tale, maybe even something to be ridiculed in some of his other plays.
But regardless, Victorians as you may well know had a very conservative attitude towards anything to do with romance, and would often avoid the subject in many places, or tread very carefully around it, as if walking on eggshells. It’s not that people stopped being romantic, in fiction or real life, but it was treated as something very serious and even dangerous, with many urges repressed or even suppressed entirely. This had all kinds of effects on society, both positive and negative. On the positive side, it reinforced the ideal of people being committed to their partners, and of marriage as a sacred institution rather than a “casual hookup” as was more common in Elizabethan times. Likewise it reinforced ideals of modesty and chastity, which may be coming back into vogue, though under different names. But just as there were positive aspects to these attitudes, so were there negative ones.
Just because the urges I described were repressed did not mean that they disappeared. In fact, they often morphed into things that many would consider “unhealthy”. From one statistic that I saw, in Victorian times about one in every 60 houses was a brothel, with the modern rate being closer to one in 6000. Additionally, the rights of women were often repressed, such that they could not fully express themselves and find their own identity, and path in life, as individuals. Just as Elizabethan ideals gave way to Victorian ones, so did the Victorian ideals gradually begin to erode.
Perhaps it began with the Jazz Age of the 1920’s (the “Roaring Twenties”), or with the increased interconnectivity of people traveling to different parts of the world during World War I, not to mention the cynicism that pervaded throughout the West in response to failed old ideals leading to the deadliest war in history up to that point, but many Victorian ideals began to be seen as a joke, and even resented for their “oppression”, which to be fair was not entirely unjustified. But regardless, people gradually, and at times not so gradually, became more and more “liberated” and promiscuous. This culminated in the Sexual Revolution in the late 1960’s, when what had previously been seen as a vice and even a sin was now seen as not only “normal” but as a healthy form of expression, a virtue even. And just as these ideas were embraced in real life, so too were they reflected in our films, TV shows, and other media, often to the consternation of older people and institutions, like the Vatican. The Catholic Church even went so far as to “ban” certain films, that is to declare them immoral for good Catholics to watch. Many of the films that were banned back then, or at least controversial, like The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman, are fairly tame by today’s standards.
It continued through the 70’s, at times warming and at times cooling through the rest of the century, until you could argue it reached a kind of crescendo in the early 21st century with the advent of so-called “dark romance” and the publication of books like Fifty Shades of Grey. (Ironically, many of the themes within this “dark romance” can trace their roots back to the Victorian era, yet another indication that repressing urges without addressing them often doesn’t work out as one might hope.) But as happens all too often, just as something reaches peak popularity is when it begins to go out of style, and that is what we may be experiencing right now. As weird as it may sound, we may actually have come full circle and may be on the cusp of a “New Victorian Age” (complete with “dark romance”, even). Web sites like Porn Hub and OnlyFans, as well as other similar sites, may be the new “brothels”, and what was once openly celebrated may be going underground, to an extent. The effects of this on society have been interesting to say the least, and at times I would even say bizarre.
Whilst many younger people seem content with these changes, many older people are concerned. I’ve seen a number of books, films, and other media receive positive reviews for example based specifically on their lack of romance. Many of these books/films, etc. fall into the “young adult” category, meaning that it is young adults obviously who mostly consume them. At the same time I’ve heard a number of older people, mostly boomers and Gen-Xers, criticize these same books/films for their lack of romance. Even some older millennials seem upset by the changes, as perhaps evidenced by Jennifer Lawrence’s latest film No Hard Feelings (though to be fair that film may be lampooning the older generation’s frustration as well as the younger generation’s frigidity). So just as in the past older people were concerned about the promiscuity of the youth, now it actually appears that many older people are concerned about the youth’s lack of promiscuity.
Who could have seen that coming? But to be fair, the younger generation hasn’t gone completely frigid. As stated earlier, much of the promiscuity has gone “underground”, or online, which many would argue is not very healthy as it might undermine actual relationships, whether they are romantic in nature or simple friendships. And speaking of that, friendships within stories nowadays often aren’t portrayed in a very authentic or compelling manner, perhaps because in ditching romance modern writers haven’t quite yet learned how to replace it with something else. In other words, the “New Victorian Age” may not be an exact repeat of the previous one, but may have its own twists and turns, for better and for worse.
This may all essentially be a manifestation of the Human Condition, in that we just can’t seem to find a happy medium, neither in real life nor in fiction. Thus we keep swinging from one extreme to the other, apparently getting wilder with each swing.
So where does all this leave us? What is it that we really want in our lives, and in our stories? Especially in regards to relationships? I think at some level we all want to see good and healthy relationships between people and/or characters, whether romantic or platonic. I believe at some point we would like to see good examples of both friendship and romance, and I would argue that the best examples of romance have them combined. Even a toxic relationship, if well portrayed or documented, can be instructive and serve as a good example of what to avoid in our lives that we might be happier and relate better to each other. A good relationship, by contrast, can give us something to aspire to and inspire us to not only look for the right kind of person to complement our lives, but to make ourselves worthy of that person. And here I’ll add that I’m perfectly aware that in real life (and thus in fiction) relationships can be very complicated and heavily nuanced, with elements of both “good” and “bad” in them. Just as people change over time so can the relationships between them change, at times getting better and at times worse, sometimes breaking entirely and sometimes growing stronger. Relationships can have just as many layers and dimensions as characters, more even perhaps, and a skilled writer should be able to reflect this complexity. At other times a relationship can be fairly straightforward, simplicity sometimes being the best approach. But regardless, the audience should be able to relate and identify with what they are seeing, such that hopefully they can incorporate the lessons from it in their own lives.
Where can we find good examples of relationships to study? There may be a number of them in the real world, but the trouble with studying real world relationships is that they’re often much more complicated than fictional ones (just as real people are more complicated than fictional characters), and for many of them it is almost impossible to know all the details and nuances because they are often kept private, understandably so, and even if they aren’t it can still be difficult, due to unique circumstances, to see how to relate them to our own lives. Additionally there may be far more disagreement about a real life situation than a fictional one, with many more points of view. To keep things simple, for the purpose of this article I would like to focus on fictional relationships. (And fair warning, there will be some spoilers.)
One of the best places to look, I would argue, would be the films of Hayao Miyazaki. (And this is pretty significant to Star Wars as you will see in a bit.) A film of his that stands out to me the most is Princess Mononoke. Like many of Miyazaki’s films it has elements of romance, and yet subverts them in a way that makes complete sense and feels very genuine, without taking away from any of the accompanying charm. It starts with two young people, San and Ashitaka, and as soon as they encounter each other there is a kind of expectation of romance. This may be inevitable to some degree when you have a man and a woman of about the same age encounter each other in a story, especially if they happen to be adolescents. The expectation may not be inherently bad, and Miyazaki does play with it. Both characters are thrust into dangerous situations, at various points end up saving each other’s lives, and at a certain point I think it is obvious that they have feelings for each other. I was certain that at the end of the film, they would be together, and if things had gone that way, it would make complete sense. Instead, they go in different directions, but remain good friends, and considering their backgrounds and differing worldviews, this ends up making even more sense to the story.
Essentially, Miyazaki could have gone for the more conventional, tried and true “love conquers all” narrative, where the characters’ feelings for each other would negate everything that comes between them, they would somehow find a common ground in spite of their differences, the romance would not only take over the narrative but somehow also solve all the problems in the story, and then the couple would live “happily ever after”. Such an approach is not inherently bad or wrong, and is fairly common in Western media and storytelling. We can see it in films like Fern Gully, and more recently James Cameron’s Avatar, both of which have been compared to Princess Mononoke. As you can probably guess, the problem is that at a certain point such a narrative can become fairly simplistic, and lack nuance.
Miyazaki’s films, by contrast, are very heavily nuanced, and are anything but simplistic. In Princess Mononoke the characters San and Ashitaka don’t help each other simply because they are “in love”, but because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how they might feel about each other. Yes, romantic feelings are certainly alluded to, but they are not essential to the plot, for it could have worked just as well without any romantic allusions. And ironically, this makes those allusions even more valid, even if they are unrequited. How so?
Consider that if love is essential to a given narrative, is it not relegated to being nothing more than a plot device? Again, this is quite common in Western media and storytelling, and is not inherently bad or wrong, but when it becomes a trope or cliche, I believe it is the essence of where shipping comes from. Many storytellers get caught up in this, usually without realizing it, and while a story can still work even with shipping, I believe that it usually works that much better without it.
This extends not only to Miyazaki’s handling of romance but also to other things like environmentalism, the conflict between man and nature, and the contrasting ideals of human progress vs. preserving the natural order. Movies like Fern Gully and Avatar, as already mentioned, handle these themes in a fairly simplistic and I would even say hamfisted manner, whereby all progress and technology is shown as being inherently “bad” and in service to “evil”, while everything that’s “natural” is shown to be inherently “good”. Even our notions of good and evil, and right vs. wrong, are challenged by Miyazaki, with nearly all of his characters having complex motives and multiple dimensions to them, as well as understandable reasons for doing the things that they do. Rarely can any one of his characters be branded as a simple “villain”, and rarely is any one individual the source of conflict in his stories, again in contrast to most Western narratives.
I’ll reiterate once more, a simple, straightforward narrative is not inherently a bad thing, whether the themes being dealt with are romantic or anything else. Sometimes it is in fact the best approach. But the best stories in my opinion are usually the most nuanced, that challenge our notions of what we believe to be true, and that force us to think about what we do with our lives and what we could do differently. To that end Miyazaki introduces all manner of themes and motifs within his films that are familiar to us but shows them in a light most of us might not have considered, thus giving more dimension to our understanding of things.
“How is any of this related to Star Wars?” you might ask. It is quite related, and you don’t even have to look all that closely to see it. A very influential figure within Star Wars was very heavily inspired by the works of Miyazaki, and that figure is Dave Filoni.
This video shows the connections in some detail:
https://youtu.be/Q_4L0BbSpHo?si=04jDo6qFCnZT135w
But to summarize if you’ve seen any of Miyazaki’s films, especially Princess Mononoke, I think the callbacks in Filoni’s work will be all too obvious, especially in Star Wars Rebels. Some of the scenes in Filoni’s work look like they were taken directly from Miyazki’s films, and many of the same themes and motifs often come up. The relationship between San and Ashitaka I would argue is very similar to the relationship between Ezra and Sabine, and not just because both couples rode wolves together.
Incidentally, Dave Filoni was also heavily involved in Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I would also argue was at least to some degree inspired if not by Miyazaki then by Japanese anime in general. The relationship between Aang and Katara was developed with great care and was allowed to build very slowly, as opposed to simply shipping them. Likewise other characters very gradually developed as individuals and in their relationships, at times stumbling as they did so, and making mistakes, before finding their way back to the right path.
All of this is in stark contrast to George Lucas, whose character development is often very rushed at best, and at times some might say almost non-existent. So essentially, even though Lucas has said that Filoni has been “like a son” to him, and I believe referred to Filoni as his “padawan”, I would argue that Filoni is ultimately as much a student of Miyazaki as he is of Lucas.
Again, you might ask, “What does all this mean for Star Wars?” It means a great many things. It means that Dave Filoni has taken Miyazaki’s lessons to heart, and can handle things like romance, as well as other kinds of relationships, quite well most of the time. Like Miyazaki he can play with romance, tease the audience with it at times even, leave the romance unrequited, and yet still have it feel satisfying. A prime example of this is the love triangle that Ahsoka was involved in with the young Separatist Senator, Lux Bonteri, and Steela Gerrera. As wary as I am of romance and as much as I despise shipping, love triangles I normally despise even more, but this one seemed to actually work. It never took over the main story, and even though Ahsoka’s feelings were ultimately not reciprocated, she still learned from the experience, and grew and developed further as a character because of it. The other characters involved in this triangle also grew and developed from their involvement, though unfortunately not all of them made it. All in all it was a good bit of storytelling and gave the audience something to consider.
When a relationship in one of Filoni’s stories does bloom into a full blown romance he also generally handles it quite well. For one Filoni is sparing with actual romance, so that when it does occur, it can be that much more appreciated. And rather than rushing or shipping it, Filoni normally takes his time to build it up. An example of this is the relationship between Kanan and Hera. Some might argue that this is perhaps the best developed romance in all of Star Wars, at least in Canon. Built up over four seasons, at times it wasn’t certain whether it was a romance or a friendship, or perhaps even a professional partnership. Perhaps even the characters themselves were not certain, though it was hinted all throughout the narrative that something was going on. To this day I don’t believe anyone can say definitively when it became an actual romance, and I believe Filoni did this intentionally because he wanted to be subtle, rather than making things too obvious and having the romance take over the narrative, as it usually does. When it finally did become obvious as to what was happening, it felt very much earned, in a way that is seldom accomplished in other works of fiction, including Star Wars.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine was also fairly well written, for the most part anyway, at least in Star Wars Rebels. Ezra was almost immediately smitten with Sabine, but being a young teenage boy, it was understandable that he would feel that way about an attractive girl. Over time he learned to see her more respectfully, as a colleague and even as part of his adopted family, not just as a pretty face. Sabine for her part found Ezra annoying at first (c’mon, what teenage boy isn’t?), but as he matured and she found out more about him she came to understand and respect him more, and see him as a friend and almost a brother, with there being potential for something more.
There were times when the relationship could have been better written, like in the episode “Blood Sisters”, where Ezra was written to be a bit too immature to make Sabine look wiser. But overall, the bond between them developed fairly well; both saved one another at various times, and took risks and made sacrifices for each other’s sake. Both reassured and comforted the other when they needed it, and it was endearing to hear their banter when they became more familiar and trusting of each other.
So why then was I so disappointed in how they were portrayed in the Ahsoka show? The thing is, after how well their relationship was built up in Rebels, as I’ve already mentioned it was strange to see how lackluster and uninspired their reunion was.
Within the Ahsoka show itself Sabine was shown to be almost obsessed with finding Ezra, living in what used to be his home, watching a recording of him over and over again, and calling out his name as she woke up in the middle of the night. She even risked bringing Thrawn back into the Galaxy, which ultimately happened, just so she could see Ezra again. After all that, when she finally does encounter him, her reaction seems fairly casual, as does his, as if they’ve been apart for no more than a week, rather than 10 years. Not too much happens between them afterwards either. Like I said Ezra does not appear all that curious about what happened with Sabine, how she found him, and how it was that she was now Force sensitive. Sabine likewise did not seem curious about what had happened with Ezra, and how he had gotten away from Thrawn. And with Ezra rescued and returned home, suddenly it didn’t seem as though Sabine was all that interested in him anymore, nor he all that concerned with her, though they were just as far apart as they had been at the start of the show. To be completely honest it made me wonder what the point of the whole show was. Were they just working to set up Thrawn’s return to the Galaxy? As some have said, Ezra felt like nothing more than a Macguffin in the show. Was Sabine and Ahsoka’s search for him just a plot device?
Considering how skillfully Dave Filoni had written his stories in the past, what happened in this latest project of his does not make much sense. Was he so concerned about “shipping” and so desperate to avoid it that he inadvertently “shipped” them in the other direction? Was there some sort of external pressure on him about how to write this story to have more of an appeal to “modern audiences”? Maybe some combination of those factors?
And here I’ll add that when I say “modern audiences” I don’t mean that in a contemptuous sense, though you may think I do. If there is any contempt on my part it is for those in charge of telling our stories, or those in charge of those telling our stories, who do not seem to grasp these basic truths. The truth is that audiences at their core don’t really change throughout the ages, only superficially so. Trends come and go but certain truths and ideals are eternal, and universal. How people relate to each other fundamentally does not change, whether they are friends, or more than friends. And deep down, I believe everyone (or nearly everyone at least) wants the same things. Nearly everyone at some point wants some kind of a connection with another human being, to know that they are not alone in the world, and to know that there is someone else who sees and understands things as they do. While this desire can certainly lead to abuse, and absolutely has, it is still innate to us and is not inherently wrong. Finding ways of connecting and relating to other people is one of the great challenges of life, but many would argue it is the most worthwhile of challenges. It may be the whole point of life if you think about it. As complex as it may be, many would argue it is what makes life worth living, and likewise makes for the best stories. Just as it may be the whole point of life many would say that is what most stories are about at their core: people trying to relate to one another.
Sadly, just as in real life, most stories unfortunately don’t quite get it, and the Ahsoka show in my opinion was an example of this, made all the sadder by the fact that Dave Filoni had done quite well with these characters up to that point. We may never know for certain what exactly went wrong and why, or if it can ever be “fixed” at this point, but I can’t help but feel curious. Maybe in the future Filoni will find a way to make it make sense, but I’m not sure how. And to be completely honest I don’t feel quite as enthusiastic to find out as I used to.
Also for the record I would like to add here that there are other factors that put me off from the show, such as Sabine’s Force sensitivity, that came about without much build up. But in this article I specifically wanted to focus on shipping because there seems to be so much misunderstanding around it.
I hope that I was able to clarify some, if not most of this misunderstanding, so that people could better appreciate what shipping is, where it comes from, as well as what it isn’t. Many people today are understandably sick of shipping characters, myself included. But I hope people realize that in overcompensating for something, we often come back around into the very thing that we are overcompensating for. Or sometimes, into something even worse. This may apply to nearly every facet of life, by the way, not just shipping. Finding a happy medium in how we portray our fictional relationships may help us to better understand relationships in real life, as well as how to navigate them. Neither fictional nor actual relationships can ever be perfect but they can always be better. To this understanding then I hope that I was able to give my own modest contribution, and if nothing else I hope we can connect on that.

Why is unrequited love so hard to get over
For reference I’m 18 M
To me was a bestfriend, she was someone that I never really expected to come into my life at that specific time but she did. Her and I had met at my school ball, she was one of my friends dates of which she didn’t like him and he liked her. I reached out to her one day because he wasn’t speaking very highly of her and then I guess the rest is history. I never ever had the intention to be anything with her she was so far out of my league; I mean she really is beautiful it’s amazing. But after that one message I sent her we just kept talking.
I met her at a time in my life where I was struggling to get over my ex… my only ex, it’s the same as what’s happening now I was hurt and couldn’t get over her but she helped me with that. I thoroughly believe that she got me over my first love and now I’m stuck not being able to get over her because ause I’m one of those boys that just feels hard. Once I feel i really feel. I am way too loyal for my own good. And she knew that she knew I had been hurt, she told me her fears about love and we both worked with each other unknowingly to get through that. What we didn’t know is what would eventually happen. This whole 1 year talking stage i had with her we really were pretty much together. I saw her a lot, dropped flowers off at her house randomly when she was sad, during wace she kept breaking down and everytime i knew she was I went over to hers with her favourite stuff for her, we were so many of each others firsts and it was incredible. I truly believe that is the deepest I will ever feel for anyone.
I eventually worked up the courage to ask her out and ask her to be mine. There was a spot she loved to go to. This lake with a walkway and a gazebo thing in the middle, I lit up the whole walkway with candles and fairy lights over the gazebo and eventually I got rejected. She used year 12 as an excuse and I should have known that was the first red flag before what was to come. I could never understand why she said no. We did everything couples would do. I met her entire family, her grandparents and mum would hug me we would sleep together on Friday nights after school. I surprised her going to her dance concerts with her mum and dad, when she got her diagnosis I was there for her to cry in my arms, we were emotionally inseparable. I was flabbergasted.
Eventually a few months later her and I had a talk and I told her how I truly felt, and she knew how my heart works and she just said that her and I have to call it quits, she was scared of what happened to her sister would happen to her and that it was all so overwhelming.
The last words we ever spoke to each other still resonate with me so deeply. “I’m sorry we can’t, I love you” and that was that. And this this hit my like a train. My best mate has never ever seen me cry until that afternoon. He is and still is genuinely worried for me because he knew how much of an impact she made on my life. Everything that was bad about me I managed to pick out of my life for her, I became a better boy for her. She brought out the best in me. And for what I thought would only be a few months I was fucked over her, I couldn’t even try and talk to any other girls because I found myself looking for her in them, which I will never find it’s impossible. And really the feeling of being needed the feeling of unconditional love I miss it. She and I never dated I was never her boyfriend. I’m trying to let go so I can move onto people I do really like personally but it’s just so difficult and I don’t understand why
….its now been just over a year and I can’t get her out of my head. Why is it so hard

Shit just doesn’t work out for me and I’m really beginning to resent people and especially women. I’m not the most attractive person or most interesting person ever no doubt, but it just doesn’t go into my head that there’s not even one women fond of me. I mean I know just from this post it seems like I’m a shitty person and maybe your right and I don’t even deserve to have someone but you know as much as I do that morality has no meaning in dating so I still really can’t grasp my head around being such a fucking loser. I don’t even know if I can properly live with this and why should I, the future probably holds nothing positive for me, why shouldn’t I just fucking end it already. In my Situation I will without a doubt become a even more grumpy and unsympathetic person so in the future I will be even more uninteresting to women. I really fkn hate this shit. I hate People and I hope a Asteroid hits the earth till next week and wipe all of us out.
I mean seriously, on this sub I see shit like people caring about little details of another person or say how much they like this person, or how they feel insecure because of someone. Nobody was ever interested in me in the slightest way, nobody ever cared about little details of me and definitely ain’t nobody ever felt insecure because of me. Fuck all of you.

Hello, please bear with me, I am not into law, and know almost nothing about it. i just wanna ask if makakaapekto sa desisyon ng supreme court (idk if this is really it) kapag nakalimutan ng attorney na magpasa ng defense?
For context, we were battling for years long case, murder w/ rape, now homicide. Rape has been brought down. After years, result came out. They were found guilty by the local court. No direct evidence to establish the people's commission of the crime charged against them. However, the reason why they were guilty is that they lacked evidence to prove their innocence, which because the attorney "forgot" daw to pass the defense? Idk why pero this sounded fishy to me cause how can someone who studied law for years could forget to pass something as important as this one. Is this really possible? He's in his 70's na kase, should I consider his situation?
The accused really didn't do the crime, they were there to help and left accused. We won't be spending half of the years of our lives just to win this battle. We could've settled it sa other side if we really did. We were poor asf, and we've even been much poorer when this case started. We didn't do it, but we have to suffer so much. We were against ppl w/ someone bigger behind their back (now dead, the case didn't do well after this person's gone but the friggin attorney of us!!!). Life is so unfair. Nasaan na kaya yung totoong nakapatay? Btw, the other side is with the PAO.
Idk, I remained silent for years coz we thought na sa local court pa lang, kahit papaano makakasurvive kami. But now, it's so sad. We've been overthinking abt this for more than a decade. We feared being happy bec we know smth is waiting for us ahead. Mababaliw na ata ako kakaisip, we need help. Hindi ko kaya na makita yung mabubuting tao na ito na mas magsuffer pa. And I'm sorry for not being so detailed. I just find it difficult to trust kahit sa ganitong anonymous discussion, hirap magtiwala kapag nasa ganito kang sitwasyon for years.
P.S. i am not the accused.

This is my attempt at a re-submission due to some misunderstandings on the first attempt. I now know that there are different definitions of the word “ship”, but for the purposes of this article and to keep things simple I will use the definition of “a relationship that’s rushed and/or forced with no real development.” I hope you can understand as I do not know of any other single word to describe that concept. If you do, perhaps you can tell me. Also, fair warning, this is long form content (some 10 pages), if you like it but can’t read it all at once you can save it and come back to it over a period of time, or you can stop reading whenever you get tired of it and still discuss those parts of it with me that you have read. But keep it civil if you want a civil response.
With that, to qualify the title, no, Ezra and Sabine do NOT absolutely have to be a couple, but if they were to become one, it would NOT be a ship. Ezra and Sabine’s relationship has had years of development. Could they remain as simply friends? Yes, but ironically, it was their “friendship” that felt like more of a ship. It felt like the Ahsoka show, helmed by Dave Filoni, was going out of its way to tell us: “no, they’re not a couple, they’re just friends.”
I believe that Filoni made some very poor writing choices to stress something that didn’t really need to be stressed, such that it almost felt like he was in denial. The line “I love you like a sister” was never in Rebels, Filoni essentially had that retconned in, and like many I was put off by their (largely) emotionless reunion. Even if they were “just friends” I believe there would be a great deal more emotion displayed between two people that hadn’t seen each other in some ten years, especially when one of them was in a precarious situation when they parted. I also believe Ezra would be far more curious about Sabine being Force sensitive, perhaps even offering to help train her when she told him that her training hadn’t gone as well with Ahsoka. He did help to train her with the Darksaber, didn’t he? Why that never came up is another discussion, but for now, let’s focus on shipping.
In case you think I’m desperate to have them as a couple, no I’m not. I’m about the furthest thing from it. Like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers) I DESPISE shipping. Absolutely DESPISE it. With a flaming passion. Perhaps for this reason, and maybe some others, like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers), I’m generally wary of nearly all romance in fiction, and generally avoid it in my own work. The sad reality is that romance is perhaps the most abused genre in all of fiction, all throughout history. It has been so badly abused that many people, including myself for the longest time, have equated romance with shipping, though I’m slowly beginning to see that they are not the same thing, and one does not necessarily have to go with the other.
But sadly, many writers, through time immemorial, have not been able to separate them, going back into ancient times and perhaps even into pre-history, that is before languages were actually written down. Some of what is considered great literature; classics like Romeo and Juliet, are predicated on shipping, though at least the consequences of this “whirlwind romance” are shown to be fairly stark. Star Wars itself is no stranger to shipping, resulting in a very awkward incestuous kiss when Luke was shipped with Leia, then Leia was placed with Han and Lucas made Luke and Leia brother and sister, apparently having forgotten his original ship. Later Lucas essentially shipped Anakin and Padme, resulting in some of the most cringeworthy dialog in the history of film. Many fans of the Prequels even have been somewhat critical of Anakin’s portrayal, particularly in regards to the “romantic” scenes, with many describing them as “creepy”. Some have speculated that this was intentional, though personally I think it was just the result of bad writing on the part of George Lucas, and an impatience on his part for Anakin and Padme to become a couple, hence “shipping”.
One might wonder why this is so prevalent in fiction, and tragically, one does not have to look far. Fiction is merely a reflection of reality, therefore the reason that shipping is so common in our stories is that we fall so easily into it in real life. Indeed, entire cultures may be based around shipping, or at least very heavily wrapped up in it. Throughout history arranged marriages have been the norm, and the idea of marrying for “love” is something relatively new. To be fair, I’ve actually met people in arranged marriages who seemed to be fairly happy, but those same people were very open in telling me that many despise that aspect of their culture, and that it is quite normal for those in an arranged marriage to try to get out.
People might come together for “love” without marrying, but even then it often creates expectations that might turn into a burden. Even when a marriage is voluntary and for “love”, people are often left unsatisfied, such that today in the West the divorce rate is something like 50%. Happy, stable, long term relationships seem to be the exception across cultures and across the breadth and width of time. And yet pursuit of love and some kind of relationship seems to be the highest calling for many people, both in real life and in fiction. And it could be that the accumulated disgust is finally starting to boil over.
To be fair, this may not be the first time in history that the pendulum has shifted. You may recall that in Victorian times attitudes changed drastically, as compared to the previously bawdy Elizabethan times. Looking at a play from Shakespear, if you can understand the language, you’ll see all kinds of vulgar references, as well as what I believe are fairly sappy romances like in the aforementioned Romeo and Juliet, though I can’t say for certain whether Shakespear was actually endorsing that type of attitude towards “love” or presenting it as a cautionary tale, maybe even something to be ridiculed in some of his other plays.
But regardless, Victorians as you may well know had a very conservative attitude towards anything to do with romance, and would often avoid the subject in many places, or tread very carefully around it, as if walking on eggshells. It’s not that people stopped being romantic, in fiction or real life, but it was treated as something very serious and even dangerous, with many urges repressed or even suppressed entirely. This had all kinds of effects on society, both positive and negative. On the positive side, it reinforced the ideal of people being committed to their partners, and of marriage as a sacred institution rather than a “casual hookup” as was more common in Elizabethan times. Likewise it reinforced ideals of modesty and chastity, which may be coming back into vogue, though under different names. But just as there were positive aspects to these attitudes, so were there negative ones.
Just because the urges I described were repressed did not mean that they disappeared. In fact, they often morphed into things that many would consider “unhealthy”. From one statistic that I saw, in Victorian times about one in every 60 houses was a brothel, with the modern rate being closer to one in 6000. Additionally, the rights of women were often repressed, such that they could not fully express themselves and find their own identity, and path in life, as individuals. Just as Elizabethan ideals gave way to Victorian ones, so did the Victorian ideals gradually begin to erode.
Perhaps it began with the Jazz Age of the 1920’s (the “Roaring Twenties”), or with the increased interconnectivity of people traveling to different parts of the world during World War I, not to mention the cynicism that pervaded throughout the West in response to failed old ideals leading to the deadliest war in history up to that point, but many Victorian ideals began to be seen as a joke, and even resented for their “oppression”, which to be fair was not entirely unjustified. But regardless, people gradually, and at times not so gradually, became more and more “liberated” and promiscuous. This culminated in the Sexual Revolution in the late 1960’s, when what had previously been seen as a vice and even a sin was now seen as not only “normal” but as a healthy form of expression, a virtue even. And just as these ideas were embraced in real life, so too were they reflected in our films, TV shows, and other media, often to the consternation of older people and institutions, like the Vatican. The Catholic Church even went so far as to “ban” certain films, that is to declare them immoral for good Catholics to watch. Many of the films that were banned back then, or at least controversial, like The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman, are fairly tame by today’s standards.
It continued through the 70’s, at times warming and at times cooling through the rest of the century, until you could argue it reached a kind of crescendo in the early 21st century with the advent of so-called “dark romance” and the publication of books like Fifty Shades of Grey. (Ironically, many of the themes within this “dark romance” can trace their roots back to the Victorian era, yet another indication that repressing urges without addressing them often doesn’t work out as one might hope.) But as happens all too often, just as something reaches peak popularity is when it begins to go out of style, and that is what we may be experiencing right now. As weird as it may sound, we may actually have come full circle and may be on the cusp of a “New Victorian Age” (complete with “dark romance”, even). Web sites like Porn Hub and OnlyFans, as well as other similar sites, may be the new “brothels”, and what was once openly celebrated may be going underground, to an extent. The effects of this on society have been interesting to say the least, and at times I would even say bizarre.
Whilst many younger people seem content with these changes, many older people are concerned. I’ve seen a number of books, films, and other media receive positive reviews for example based specifically on their lack of romance. Many of these books/films, etc. fall into the “young adult” category, meaning that it is young adults obviously who mostly consume them. At the same time I’ve heard a number of older people, mostly boomers and Gen-Xers, criticize these same books/films for their lack of romance. Even some older millennials seem upset by the changes, as perhaps evidenced by Jennifer Lawrence’s latest film No Hard Feelings (though to be fair that film may be lampooning the older generation’s frustration as well as the younger generation’s frigidity). So just as in the past older people were concerned about the promiscuity of the youth, now it actually appears that many older people are concerned about the youth’s lack of promiscuity.
Who could have seen that coming? But to be fair, the younger generation hasn’t gone completely frigid. As stated earlier, much of the promiscuity has gone “underground”, or online, which many would argue is not very healthy as it might undermine actual relationships, whether they are romantic in nature or simple friendships. And speaking of that, friendships within stories nowadays often aren’t portrayed in a very authentic or compelling manner, perhaps because in ditching romance modern writers haven’t quite yet learned how to replace it with something else. In other words, the “New Victorian Age” may not be an exact repeat of the previous one, but may have its own twists and turns, for better and for worse.
This may all essentially be a manifestation of the Human Condition, in that we just can’t seem to find a happy medium, neither in real life nor in fiction. Thus we keep swinging from one extreme to the other, apparently getting wilder with each swing.
So where does all this leave us? What is it that we really want in our lives, and in our stories? Especially in regards to relationships? I think at some level we all want to see good and healthy relationships between people and/or characters, whether romantic or platonic. I believe at some point we would like to see good examples of both friendship and romance, and I would argue that the best examples of romance have them combined. Even a toxic relationship, if well portrayed or documented, can be instructive and serve as a good example of what to avoid in our lives that we might be happier and relate better to each other. A good relationship, by contrast, can give us something to aspire to and inspire us to not only look for the right kind of person to complement our lives, but to make ourselves worthy of that person. And here I’ll add that I’m perfectly aware that in real life (and thus in fiction) relationships can be very complicated and heavily nuanced, with elements of both “good” and “bad” in them. Just as people change over time so can the relationships between them change, at times getting better and at times worse, sometimes breaking entirely and sometimes growing stronger. Relationships can have just as many layers and dimensions as characters, more even perhaps, and a skilled writer should be able to reflect this complexity. At other times a relationship can be fairly straightforward, simplicity sometimes being the best approach. But regardless, the audience should be able to relate and identify with what they are seeing, such that hopefully they can incorporate the lessons from it in their own lives.
Where can we find good examples of relationships to study? There may be a number of them in the real world, but the trouble with studying real world relationships is that they’re often much more complicated than fictional ones (just as real people are more complicated than fictional characters), and for many of them it is almost impossible to know all the details and nuances because they are often kept private, understandably so, and even if they aren’t it can still be difficult, due to unique circumstances, to see how to relate them to our own lives. Additionally there may be far more disagreement about a real life situation than a fictional one, with many more points of view. To keep things simple, for the purpose of this article I would like to focus on fictional relationships. (And fair warning, there will be some spoilers.)
One of the best places to look, I would argue, would be the films of Hayao Miyazaki. (And this is pretty significant to Star Wars as you will see in a bit.) A film of his that stands out to me the most is Princess Mononoke. Like many of Miyazaki’s films it has elements of romance, and yet subverts them in a way that makes complete sense and feels very genuine, without taking away from any of the accompanying charm. It starts with two young people, San and Ashitaka, and as soon as they encounter each other there is a kind of expectation of romance. This may be inevitable to some degree when you have a man and a woman of about the same age encounter each other in a story, especially if they happen to be adolescents. The expectation may not be inherently bad, and Miyazaki does play with it. Both characters are thrust into dangerous situations, at various points end up saving each other’s lives, and at a certain point I think it is obvious that they have feelings for each other. I was certain that at the end of the film, they would be together, and if things had gone that way, it would make complete sense. Instead, they go in different directions, but remain good friends, and considering their backgrounds and differing worldviews, this ends up making even more sense to the story.
Essentially, Miyazaki could have gone for the more conventional, tried and true “love conquers all” narrative, where the characters’ feelings for each other would negate everything that comes between them, they would somehow find a common ground in spite of their differences, the romance would not only take over the narrative but somehow also solve all the problems in the story, and then the couple would live “happily ever after”. Such an approach is not inherently bad or wrong, and is fairly common in Western media and storytelling. We can see it in films like Fern Gully, and more recently James Cameron’s Avatar, both of which have been compared to Princess Mononoke. As you can probably guess, the problem is that at a certain point such a narrative can become fairly simplistic, and lack nuance.
Miyazaki’s films, by contrast, are very heavily nuanced, and are anything but simplistic. In Princess Mononoke the characters San and Ashitaka don’t help each other simply because they are “in love”, but because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how they might feel about each other. Yes, romantic feelings are certainly alluded to, but they are not essential to the plot, for it could have worked just as well without any romantic allusions. And ironically, this makes those allusions even more valid, even if they are unrequited. How so?
Consider that if love is essential to a given narrative, is it not relegated to being nothing more than a plot device? Again, this is quite common in Western media and storytelling, and is not inherently bad or wrong, but when it becomes a trope or cliche, I believe it is the essence of where shipping comes from. Many storytellers get caught up in this, usually without realizing it, and while a story can still work even with shipping, I believe that it usually works that much better without it.
This extends not only to Miyazaki’s handling of romance but also to other things like environmentalism, the conflict between man and nature, and the contrasting ideals of human progress vs. preserving the natural order. Movies like Fern Gully and Avatar, as already mentioned, handle these themes in a fairly simplistic and I would even say hamfisted manner, whereby all progress and technology is shown as being inherently “bad” and in service to “evil”, while everything that’s “natural” is shown to be inherently “good”. Even our notions of good and evil, and right vs. wrong, are challenged by Miyazaki, with nearly all of his characters having complex motives and multiple dimensions to them, as well as understandable reasons for doing the things that they do. Rarely can any one of his characters be branded as a simple “villain”, and rarely is any one individual the source of conflict in his stories, again in contrast to most Western narratives.
I’ll reiterate once more, a simple, straightforward narrative is not inherently a bad thing, whether the themes being dealt with are romantic or anything else. Sometimes it is in fact the best approach. But the best stories in my opinion are usually the most nuanced, that challenge our notions of what we believe to be true, and that force us to think about what we do with our lives and what we could do differently. To that end Miyazaki introduces all manner of themes and motifs within his films that are familiar to us but shows them in a light most of us might not have considered, thus giving more dimension to our understanding of things.
“How is any of this related to Star Wars?” you might ask. It is quite related, and you don’t even have to look all that closely to see it. A very influential figure within Star Wars was very heavily inspired by the works of Miyazaki, and that figure is Dave Filoni.
This video shows the connections in some detail:
https://youtu.be/Q_4L0BbSpHo?si=04jDo6qFCnZT135w
But to summarize if you’ve seen any of Miyazaki’s films, especially Princess Mononoke, I think the callbacks in Filoni’s work will be all too obvious, especially in Star Wars Rebels. Some of the scenes in Filoni’s work look like they were taken directly from Miyazki’s films, and many of the same themes and motifs often come up. The relationship between San and Ashitaka I would argue is very similar to the relationship between Ezra and Sabine, and not just because both couples rode wolves together.
Incidentally, Dave Filoni was also heavily involved in Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I would also argue was at least to some degree inspired if not by Miyazaki then by Japanese anime in general. The relationship between Aang and Katara was developed with great care and was allowed to build very slowly, as opposed to simply shipping them. Likewise other characters very gradually developed as individuals and in their relationships, at times stumbling as they did so, and making mistakes, before finding their way back to the right path.
All of this is in stark contrast to George Lucas, whose character development is often very rushed at best, and at times some might say almost non-existent. So essentially, even though Lucas has said that Filoni has been “like a son” to him, and I believe referred to Filoni as his “padawan”, I would argue that Filoni is ultimately as much a student of Miyazaki as he is of Lucas.
Again, you might ask, “What does all this mean for Star Wars?” It means a great many things. It means that Dave Filoni has taken Miyazaki’s lessons to heart, and can handle things like romance, as well as other kinds of relationships, quite well most of the time. Like Miyazaki he can play with romance, tease the audience with it at times even, leave the romance unrequited, and yet still have it feel satisfying. A prime example of this is the love triangle that Ahsoka was involved in with the young Separatist Senator, Lux Bonteri, and Steela Gerrera. As wary as I am of romance and as much as I despise shipping, love triangles I normally despise even more, but this one seemed to actually work. It never took over the main story, and even though Ahsoka’s feelings were ultimately not reciprocated, she still learned from the experience, and grew and developed further as a character because of it. The other characters involved in this triangle also grew and developed from their involvement, though unfortunately not all of them made it. All in all it was a good bit of storytelling and gave the audience something to consider.
When a relationship in one of Filoni’s stories does bloom into a full blown romance he also generally handles it quite well. For one Filoni is sparing with actual romance, so that when it does occur, it can be that much more appreciated. And rather than rushing or shipping it, Filoni normally takes his time to build it up. An example of this is the relationship between Kanan and Hera. Some might argue that this is perhaps the best developed romance in all of Star Wars, at least in Canon. Built up over four seasons, at times it wasn’t certain whether it was a romance or a friendship, or perhaps even a professional partnership. Perhaps even the characters themselves were not certain, though it was hinted all throughout the narrative that something was going on. To this day I don’t believe anyone can say definitively when it became an actual romance, and I believe Filoni did this intentionally because he wanted to be subtle, rather than making things too obvious and having the romance take over the narrative, as it usually does. When it finally did become obvious as to what was happening, it felt very much earned, in a way that is seldom accomplished in other works of fiction, including Star Wars.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine was also fairly well written, for the most part anyway, at least in Star Wars Rebels. Ezra was almost immediately smitten with Sabine, but being a young teenage boy, it was understandable that he would feel that way about an attractive girl. Over time he learned to see her more respectfully, as a colleague and even as part of his adopted family, not just as a pretty face. Sabine for her part found Ezra annoying at first (c’mon, what teenage boy isn’t?), but as he matured and she found out more about him she came to understand and respect him more, and see him as a friend and almost a brother, with there being potential for something more.
There were times when the relationship could have been better written, like in the episode “Blood Sisters”, where Ezra was written to be a bit too immature to make Sabine look wiser. But overall, the bond between them developed fairly well; both saved one another at various times, and took risks and made sacrifices for each other’s sake. Both reassured and comforted the other when they needed it, and it was endearing to hear their banter when they became more familiar and trusting of each other.
So why then was I so disappointed in how they were portrayed in the Ahsoka show? The thing is, after how well their relationship was built up in Rebels, as I’ve already mentioned it was strange to see how lackluster and uninspired their reunion was.
Within the Ahsoka show itself Sabine was shown to be almost obsessed with finding Ezra, living in what used to be his home, watching a recording of him over and over again, and calling out his name as she woke up in the middle of the night. She even risked bringing Thrawn back into the Galaxy, which ultimately happened, just so she could see Ezra again. After all that, when she finally does encounter him, her reaction seems fairly casual, as does his, as if they’ve been apart for no more than a week, rather than 10 years. Not too much happens between them afterwards either. Like I said Ezra does not appear all that curious about what happened with Sabine, how she found him, and how it was that she was now Force sensitive. Sabine likewise did not seem curious about what had happened with Ezra, and how he had gotten away from Thrawn. And with Ezra rescued and returned home, suddenly it didn’t seem as though Sabine was all that interested in him anymore, nor he all that concerned with her, though they were just as far apart as they had been at the start of the show. To be completely honest it made me wonder what the point of the whole show was. Were they just working to set up Thrawn’s return to the Galaxy? As some have said, Ezra felt like nothing more than a Macguffin in the show. Was Sabine and Ahsoka’s search for him just a plot device?
Considering how skillfully Dave Filoni had written his stories in the past, what happened in this latest project of his does not make much sense. Was he so concerned about “shipping” and so desperate to avoid it that he inadvertently “shipped” them in the other direction? Was there some sort of external pressure on him about how to write this story to have more of an appeal to “modern audiences”? Maybe some combination of those factors?
And here I’ll add that when I say “modern audiences” I don’t mean that in a contemptuous sense, though you may think I do. If there is any contempt on my part it is for those in charge of telling our stories, or those in charge of those telling our stories, who do not seem to grasp these basic truths. The truth is that audiences at their core don’t really change throughout the ages, only superficially so. Trends come and go but certain truths and ideals are eternal, and universal. How people relate to each other fundamentally does not change, whether they are friends, or more than friends. And deep down, I believe everyone (or nearly everyone at least) wants the same things. Nearly everyone at some point wants some kind of a connection with another human being, to know that they are not alone in the world, and to know that there is someone else who sees and understands things as they do. While this desire can certainly lead to abuse, and absolutely has, it is still innate to us and is not inherently wrong. Finding ways of connecting and relating to other people is one of the great challenges of life, but many would argue it is the most worthwhile of challenges. It may be the whole point of life if you think about it. As complex as it may be, many would argue it is what makes life worth living, and likewise makes for the best stories. Just as it may be the whole point of life many would say that is what most stories are about at their core: people trying to relate to one another.
Sadly, just as in real life, most stories unfortunately don’t quite get it, and the Ahsoka show in my opinion was an example of this, made all the sadder by the fact that Dave Filoni had done quite well with these characters up to that point. We may never know for certain what exactly went wrong and why, or if it can ever be “fixed” at this point, but I can’t help but feel curious. Maybe in the future Filoni will find a way to make it make sense, but I’m not sure how. And to be completely honest I don’t feel quite as enthusiastic to find out as I used to.
Also for the record I would like to add here that there are other factors that put me off from the show, such as Sabine’s Force sensitivity, that came about without much build up. But in this article I specifically wanted to focus on shipping because there seems to be so much misunderstanding around it.
I hope that I was able to clarify some, if not most of this misunderstanding, so that people could better appreciate what shipping is, where it comes from, as well as what it isn’t. Many people today are understandably sick of shipping characters, myself included. But I hope people realize that in overcompensating for something, we often come back around into the very thing that we are overcompensating for. Or sometimes, into something even worse. This may apply to nearly every facet of life, by the way, not just shipping. Finding a happy medium in how we portray our fictional relationships may help us to better understand relationships in real life, as well as how to navigate them. Neither fictional nor actual relationships can ever be perfect but they can always be better. To this understanding then I hope that I was able to give my own modest contribution, and if nothing else I hope we can connect on that.

My GF ( we've been in relationship since last 4 years) and I recently broke up because I wasn't emotionally available for her. Her reasons for break-up are I was emotionally unavailable and never express my feelings and all, We never went for any long trips and I don't take initiative on planning dates/trips. She says I keep this relationship as secret from all of my friends (I'm an introvert and I find very difficult to talk about her to my friends). All these things piled up to the break up.
little context here, I admit that I got issues in expressing my emotions ( I've started therapy for that ). all other things are somewhat true, as an introverted person I don't take much initiatives for things like going on vacations etc. All my things are spontaneous plans.
After the break up she went on a trip with one of our common friends. I don't have a problem with she spending her time in her own way and she gives me that space also. She didn't told me that she is going to that trip with our common friend, She only told me that when I called after day one or two - at that time she told me he also came because that place is closer to where he work.
I forgot to mention that we also live together. We decided to live together even after the break up. One day I saw her coming back from work and entering our society gates from balcony. But, she only reached the apartment after like 1 hour. When I asked about this - she told me that she was on call with that common friend. He was getting too much clingy and started having feelings for her and she was telling him that it won't work; she told me that she can't tolerate a person who is as clingy as that friend. I didn't have any idea that they were dating at that time ( that thought came after 2-3 weeks) . She is very lively person and got so many friends from both genders. This incident ended here.
Recently we are having conversations of getting back together. one day I said, " I think now you are discussing this getting back thing because of things didn't workout between you and the other friend" - she went very emotional after hearing this and started crying and all. She also told me that she is a bad person and done unforgivable things in the relationship. And she wants to cut chatting with that friend but she couldn't.
The way I see is that she was cheating on me with that friend ( I know season 3 Ross - we were on break). And, it didn't workout now she wants to get back together. What should I do ? we both are different religion and I might want to fight with my parents for marrying her - will it be worth? Please share you opinions.

Hi all. My dad was a narc, my ex husband who was physically abusive was a narc, the guy I dated soon after divorcing my ex husband was a narc. Unfortunately I didn't know about narcissist but I have learnt alot in the last year or so.
The last narc I dated came in as my rescuer after I divorced my ex husband that situation wrnt south real quick after months. He finally got me in his Web then he'd go and come back as usual and this went on for almost 3 years and I broke up with him a few times in there as well. I was actually dealing with his drug addiction, his narcissist mother who's also an alcoholic amongst other things. It was hell. Anyway I finally had enough after him and his racist mother had their finally attack and walked away in October 2022. Since then I had a 2 hovers in that year which didn't work and he was pissed and I had a reverse hover in June of 2023 when I was still recovering and didn't know the ins and outs of narcissist people. Anyway, from that day I went no contact. He said that he was seeing someone which I'm not surprise cause although he is Hideous on the inside and out he has all the ascetic of a normal person. House, car, good job, so he can get someone who's still asleep if he tried dangling money in their face. I said to him I didn't need someone onto of me to be over him and I never heard from him again.
I did hear from his friend the next month and later on thar year which I realised he was a flying monkey. Everything he'd ask me he'd go right back and tell him I assumed and I knew that was the case from the last phone call cause the friend said to he me that the ex has someone new which I knew he was seeing her for a long time but hoping that I'd some how come back to play his game cause she is not high grade supply like me. Definitely a downgrade when I saw the picture of them that year. She's clearly trying to look like me but won't ever be me. Nevertheless, I don't care about him her, I'm just indifferent to the situation and to be honest I hope he stays there and gets whatever he thinks he's looking for. He's an Evil vile person and so is his mother and they'll get there's either in this life or the next so will my ex husband.
I changed my number since last year and I have no social media. I deal with my ex husband accordingly for the children but my knowledge on narcissistic people has helped me tremendously so I can manage in that situation but with the last I hope he will never contact me again as I see no way he can. No one he knows has my contact number, he thinks I've moved city cause that's what it told his flying monkey and that same week I spoke to the flying monkey and gave no interest in him, his new supply of show any interest of ever getting in contact or back with him he immediately posted his picture of him and the new supply which I hope to believe that since he's upgraded her my smear campaign can end, flying monkeys can stay at bay and he can move on with the trash he deserves and I can continue to live my life.
It's been 1 year and 7 months since I left the last Narc. It's been 11 months since no contact with him directly and 7 months since no contact with the flying monkey. I think I'm safe. My advice would be to take your time to heal, find your faith, search for your purpose, invest time, love and energy into yourself and the people that truly love and care for you and always remember that actions speak louder than words. Never look at ascetic but look deep within a person before you connect yourself intimately with them. I've learnt the hard way and at 38 I haven't given up on love I'm just giving myself time, enjoying my children and being patient as I believe what is for you would never pass you by and I'm a good person so I will receive my blessings on this life or the next.

—— Feedback from a 90S Buddhist practitioner who shared her experiences with tears at the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door Website.
Gratitude to Namo Sakyamuni Buddha!
Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Gratitude to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas from ten directions and three periods of time!
Gratitude to the Dharma protectors!
Gratitude to the benefactor and benevolent father Master Jun Hong Lu!
Gratitude to my fellow Dharma practitioners!
I am very happy to share with you my path to learning Buddhism in a healthy state. I am a post-90s person, and I am also a devout Buddhist. Previously, I just believed in Buddhism, burned incense and worshiped the Buddha, but I did not know I should recite Buddhist scriptures. In my consciousness, reciting Buddhist scriptures is the business of a monk or nun. It was later when I became acquainted with Buddhism formally that I realized that monks, nuns, laymen monks, and laymen nuns can all recite Buddhist scriptures if they are willing to do so.
I came into contact with Buddhism in the summer of 2018, the year I gave birth to 2 children in a row. My physical state was particularly poor. I suffer from insomnia almost every night. I often got to bed around 10:00 p.m. and woke up around 1:00 a.m., and I was then unable to sleep. During the day, I had to take care of the children and do housework. I often felt physically exhausted.
One night, I remembered that my cousin transcribed Buddhist scriptures. I thought that it would be better for me to do so at home so that I would not be wasting sleepless hours. By transcribing Buddhist scriptures I could cultivate my mind and improve my handwriting. Then, I searched the Internet. They said that transcribing Buddhist scriptures disrespects the Bodhisattva, so I gave up this idea. Then I thought of reciting Buddhist scriptures. The several Buddhist scriptures I found online were not suitable for me.
It might be my affinity with Buddha is ripe, or it is the Bodhisattva's compassion for me. Not long after I saw an article online that said reciting Buddhist scriptures could change one's destiny. I just casually left a comment below:“Can reciting Buddhist scriptures really change destiny?”Back and forth in this way, I added that Buddhist practitioner to my friend list.
What impressed me the most was that practicing Buddhism and reciting Buddhist scriptures are free of charge, and there will be no fees. On the Internet, she shared with me a lot of Buddhist scripture information. Later, she mailed me the Dharma Gems. After receiving the Dharma Gems, I began reciting the Buddhist scriptures, and I kept doing so until my children started school. I became very busy after school started. I did not want to recite Buddhist scriptures anymore. I recited a few Little Houses but did not repay my karmic creditors. Perhaps that is why my karma was activated early.
In the winter, I found that I had a high frequency of headaches, and also suffered left migraines. The left side of the body was soft and numb, especially the left toes and the hand. I wondered if it was the same as my mother's disease. Until December, when my mother again went to the provincial capital hospital due to health problems, did I realize this was a genetic condition. Further, the probability of female inheritance is very high. Then, I searched the Internet for primary multiple sclerosis (MS) symptoms and compared them to my own physical condition. I broke down. I was 26 years old at the time, just entering the age of predestined 369 calamity.
I had just been married for 2 years. I didn't dare tell my husband because I was afraid the family would be broken up. Since I had 2 daughters, I was afraid they would inherit the disease. I didn't dare tell my parents either, for fear of causing psychological pressure on my mom. I bear it alone. My spirit was in a state of collapse every day.
One day, I suddenly remembered a cancer case that was cured by practicing Buddhism, which was shared in a WeChat moment. Why not MS? Again, I contacted the Buddhist practitioner who transformed me. I cried and told her what had happened to me. I asked her if reciting Buddhist scriptures could really heal me. I remembered that she replied to me very firmly, saying it would definitely cure me. That's how I returned to the path of reciting Buddhist scriptures. This time I was with hope and determination in practicing Buddhism. MS can't be cured medically, only managed. I have no way out. I want to change my destiny through Dharma.
Since then, I have frantically read the shared presentations and referred to those practitioners’cases. I want to see how to do merits and virtues by making vows and releasing lives. Once, I made a vow to the sky to release fish worth 1,000 CNY and recited a number of Little Houses. Right at that moment, the left side of my body became much lighter and less numb. I thought it was amazing. It gave me a little more confidence in reciting Buddhist scriptures. When I saw people sharing that vegetarian is good, I made a vow to be vegetarian 2 days a month, then 10 days a month, and then a full-time vegetarian.
My physical conditions were not always as good as I wanted them to be, sometimes good and sometimes bad. I often dream of the dead. Once I dreamed that I had caused a car full of people to fall into the river and die. When I woke up, I hurriedly made a vow to ascend them using the Little House. Master Lu enlightened us that everyone comes into this world with karmic obstacles. Only by constantly reciting Buddhist scriptures, performing merits and virtues and repaying debts can these karmic obstacles be dissolved. Therefore, I knew that my karmic obstacle is from my past life, and I either have to repay it with my body or with reciting Buddhist scriptures. I chose the latter, by reciting Buddhist scriptures to repent of my past sins. Thereafter, whenever I dreamed of the deceased, I would make a vow to recite the Little House for them.
I have also deeply repented gossiping behind people's backs, saying too many bad things about them, and doing too many things behind their backs. Due to unknown the cause and effect, I advised people to divorce. I have been obsessed with worldly love and watched too many romance novels and TV dramas, which has led to my blessings loss. I have taken advantage of small gains and committed very petty thefts. I have deeply repented to this now. I am willing to spend the rest of my life cultivating my behavior and mind! I will recite the Buddhist scriptures and recite Little Houses to pay off my karmic debts.
With time, my symptoms improved: from the 24-hour constant numbness in my hands and feet in 2018, to a little bit lighter in 2019, to 2020 when sometimes these symptoms disappeared for a period of time, to 2021 when the symptoms nearly disappeared but the feeling of recurrence still came back at times, and then to 2022 when I had almost forgotten about MS because the softness and numbness in my hands and feet had completely disappeared. It is only now that I dare to stand up bravely and say I am really cured. This is because I have been free of the MS symptoms for >1 year. I am really grateful to the Bodhisattva! Buddhist scriptures have created miracles for me.
Maybe readers will think I have not done diagnosis tests. How can I tell if I have MS? First of all, my physical symptoms are the same as my mom's. Secondly, this disease is divided into hereditary and non-hereditary forms. Unfortunately, my mom's is hereditary, and she has test results for it. Furthermore, I've googled too much information just hoping it's something else and my faulty senses. One article had a message conversation that caused me to fall into the abyss. That person had the same disease and had been diagnosed, and mine was exactly the same. Honestly, I couldn't go to the hospital for a checkup, because I really couldn't face this reality.
Even though I had already practiced Buddhism, any time I thought of having MS it literally broke me down. Sometimes I would wonder why my hands and feet were still numb and weak after reciting Buddhist scriptures for so long and releasing so many lives. Why is it still not healed? This type of thought made me collapse. After collapsing, I decided to continue practicing because of the fact that this disease cannot be cured medically. Reading Buddhist practitioners’ shared presentations is my only motivation. So many rare and intractable diseases were cured, I firmly believe that the Bodhisattva will save me, too. I don't think words can really express my inner world. My heart always experiences breaking down and healing itself over and over again; then breaking down again and healing itself again.
I am grateful to my cousin for accompanying me all the way and listening to me pour out my sufferings. I am also grateful to Buddhist practitioner Liren for always encouraging me and telling me that this is karma and that reciting the scriptures can eliminate karma. It is only by reciting Buddhist scriptures properly and persistently that I have become the person I am now.
I have changed the most in 2022. This year is also the year of the greatest vow power. After I studied Buddhism in Plain Terms, I understood many truths. Before 2022, I used to recite Buddhist scriptures without understanding why. My mind was not cultivated well, and my merits and virtues were leaked. Before 2022, I ate vegetarian food with five pungent spices. In 2022, I made a vow to be a full-time vegetarian without five pungent spices, be one of the hands and eyes of Guan Yin Bodhisattva to widely transform sentient beings, release 100,000 fish, and recite 1,200 Little Houses specifically for my MS.
As my Master taught, the greater the vow, the greater the merits and virtues, and the faster the karmic obstacles are cleared. Today, sitting here and reminiscing, I am fortunate. This is because I met the Dharma before my karmic obstacles fully flared up. As a result, I was able to pass a major calamity in my life.
I hope my sharing will bring hope to more new Buddhist practitioners! Studying Buddhism and reciting Buddhist scriptures is not superstition. It can really help us dissolve all the problems on earth.
My sharing has come to an end. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the truth in the presentation, I'd like to seek forgiveness from Namo Sakyamuni Buddha, the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, and Dharma protectors. I’d appreciate my fellow practitioners' critique and correction!
I, not my fellow practitioners, will be responsible for my own karma!
Presenter: Dharma Practitioner LanLan
Posted: 2023-07-27
Translator: Frank
Published: 2023-08-25
Statement by translator
The story was translated from Chinese into English by meaning, not word by word. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the Chinese version, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
90后师兄含泪分享：医学无法治愈的多发性硬化症通过学佛念经彻底痊愈
——心灵法门网友反馈
2023-07-27
感恩南无释迦牟尼佛！
感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨摩诃萨！
感恩十方三世一切诸佛菩萨！
感恩龙天护法菩萨！
感恩恩师慈父！
感恩师兄们！
很高兴能在身体健康的状态下和大家分享我的学佛之路。我是一名90后，我也是一名虔诚的佛教徒，只不过，我只是信佛，会烧香，会拜佛，却不会读经。在我的意识中，念经是出家师父的事。后面接触佛法才明白，只要愿意，在家出家都可以念经。
我是在2018年暑假的时候接触佛法，那年我是连着生完两个孩子，身体状态特别差，几乎每晚都失眠，经常10点左右睡，1点左右醒，然后就开始失眠。白天又要带孩子做家务，整个人经常觉得体力不支。
有次晚上无意想起表妹会抄经，我想着自己在家没事这样失眠浪费时间还不如也抄经，既可以修心也可以练练字。然后就上网搜索，网上说抄经对菩萨不尊敬，然后又打消了这个念头，又想着读经，结果网上搜索了几种经文，都觉得不适合自己。
也许是佛缘成熟，也许是菩萨慈悲我，没多久我在网上看见一篇文章说念经可以改变命运，我就随缘在下面留言说：念经，真的可以改变命运吗？这样一来二往，我加上了那位师兄。
印象最深的是，学佛念经都是免费的，不会有任何费用。在网上她给我分享了好多经文资料，后面也给我邮寄了法宝，我收到后就开始念经，坚持到孩子开学，孩子开学后每天很忙碌，就不想读经了，经文组合小房子读了几张，也没有烧送，就这样一直放着。也许是这个原因提前激活了业障。
到了冬季，我发现我头痛的频率高了，而且有些奇怪的还出现左偏头痛，还有身体左边有些发软、发麻，特别是左边的脚指头和左边的手，当时也有怀疑是不是和我妈妈的病一样，但也只是怀疑，不敢过多地想。直到12月，我妈又因为身体原因需要去省城住院，结果这次住院的经历让我发现，我妈这个病是遗传病，遗传女性的概率很大，然后我在网上搜索多发性硬化症的初级症状，再对照自己的身体状况。整个人都开始崩溃了，那年我是26周岁，正逢“三六九”关劫。
那会我也刚结婚两年，我不敢告诉我先生，我怕这个家会散，而且我生的是两个女儿，我也怕她们会遗传。我也不敢告诉爸妈，我怕给我妈造成心理压力。就这样一个人扛着，精神每天处于崩溃的状态。
回到家后，我就突然想起师兄朋友圈分享的癌症都能好，我又联系度我的师兄，哭着和她说了我的事，问她我念经真的能好吗，记得她非常坚定地回复我说一定能好。就这样，我又开始了念经的道路，只不过这次带着希望在读，更加坚定了一些，因为这个病在医学上无法解决，只有控制，我没有任何办法，想通过佛法来改变命运。
此后，我疯狂地看分享，参考大家的灵验分享，看大家如何许愿放生做功德。有次我对着天空许愿放生1000元的鱼，念诵多少张经文组合小房子。当时这个左边的身体发软发麻的状态就轻了许多，我当时觉得好神奇，也给我增加了一点念经的信心。此后，我看大家分享吃素好，我就许愿一个月两次，再一个月10天，再后面吃全素。
我许愿吃全素这个过程很短，因为我想早点让自己好。可事情总是不尽人意，时好时坏。在念经这段道路上，我也经常梦见亡人，有一次还梦见自己把一车的人弄得掉进河里死了，醒来后赶紧地许愿给他们读诵经文组合小房子。师父说过，每个人都是带着业障来到这个世界，只有通过不断地念经做功德还债才能化解这些业障。所以，我知道这是我前世的业障，要么用身体还，要么用经文还。我选择后者，用经文去忏悔我的过往。所以此后，只要梦见亡人，我都会许愿读经文组合小房子。
我也深深忏悔，我曾经背后乱嚼舌头，说了太多人家的坏话，做了太多背后阴人的事；曾经不明因果，劝人离婚；曾经迷恋世间的情爱，看了太多的爱情小说和电视剧，导致福报尽损；曾经爱占小便宜，做了很小偷小摸的事；我现在都深深地忏悔，愿意用我的余生好好地修心修行，好好地学佛念经念经文组合小房子还债。
经过我不断地读经消业，我的症状也有所改善，从2018年的24小时手脚持续发麻，到2019年的症状轻了一点，再到2020年有时这些症状会消失一段时间，再到2021年，症状可以说消失，但有时还是会复发的感觉，再到2022年，我几乎把这个病给忘记了，因为手脚那些发麻发软的感觉都消失了。直到现在，我才敢勇敢站出来说，我真的好了，因为我已经有一年多没有这些症状了。真的感恩菩萨！经文的灵验在我这里创造了奇迹。
也许大家会觉得我没有做任何检查，如何判定自己就是这个病呢？首先，是身体的症状和我妈妈的一样；其次，这个病分遗传和不遗传，很不巧，我妈的是遗传，这个是有检测报告的；再者，我上网搜了太多的资料，就希望是其他原因，是我的错感。尤其有一篇文章的留言对话，让我跌入深渊，对方也是这个病，已经确诊，而我的是一模一样，说实话，我真的没法去医院检查，我真的没法面对这个现实。
虽然我已经念经了，但一想到这个问题我真的每次都是崩溃。就这样我抱着念经的信念，坚持了一年，有一点点地改变，有时候也会怀疑，我已经读了这么久的经，我放生这么多了，为啥还是手脚发麻发软？为什么还是不见好转？崩溃之后依旧是继续，因为这个病真的医学上没法解决，看着师兄们的分享，是我唯一的动力。那么多的疑难杂症都能好，我坚信菩萨会救我的。我觉得文字真的无法来表达我的内心世界。内心总是反反复复地崩溃，自愈；再崩溃，再自愈。
这一路感谢我的表姐，一路的陪伴我，听着我倾诉苦水；也感谢丽人师兄，一直鼓励我，告诉我，这个就是业障，读经就能消业障，好好读，坚持读，才成就的现在的我。我在2022年变化最大，这年也是愿力最大，我学习《白话佛法》，明白了很多的道理，以前就是一味地读经，根本不明白，心没修好，功德有漏。我之前吃素都是吃带五辛的，2022年我许愿全素，许了做菩萨的千手千眼广度有缘人，许了余生放生10万条鱼，还针对这个病许愿1200张经文组合小房子，已经烧送了一部分。就像师父说的，愿力越大，功德越大，业障也消得快些。所以今天坐在这里回忆过往，我是幸运的，在业障还没全面爆发，我遇见佛法，让我化解了人生的一道大坎。也希望我的分享能给更多的新人带来希望的光！学佛念经不是迷信，是真的可以帮助我们化解人间所有问题。
我的分享结束了，分享中如有不如理不如法的地方，请南无释迦牟尼佛慈悲原谅，请南无大慈大悲观世音菩萨慈悲原谅，请十方三世一切诸佛菩萨和龙天护法菩萨慈悲原谅，请师兄们批评指正。我自己的业障自己背，不让师兄们背。
分享人：蓝蓝师兄
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Literally is less than a mile from a vet, hospital, a few stores, vape store and a park…… and you need someone to drive you? You can’t take a measly 0.6 miles to walk or take a bus/uber to to a hospital or your pets to the vet, even get your food you desperately need? Like just wow… I’m appalled. Says she won’t date anyone who can’t drive, yet she can’t… won’t drive, can obviously walk there, take an Uber or bus. Doesn’t matter the weight, that walk, is NOTHING. Get your shit together, Amber. I know you can read this. If you so desperately can’t get a damn permit, then license, WALK, take an Uber or bus. You’re not independent, do it yourself. Don’t get mom to do EVERYTHING for you. She may not be the best person, but seeing you use your own family after your partners is pathetic. Truly. NO EXCUSE. You live so close to so much and have the luxury a lot don’t. And if you’re judging a partner who can’t drive either, is a major problem. Get off your ass. I’m sick of you using people and I genuinely can’t keep watching without writing anything, knowing she reads this. Sorry not sorry.

Hey everyone,
I am looking for a modern template that I can use for my personal website. It features one image of me, my CV, the projects that I worked on, and links to my socials.
The website does not include many pictures and most themes I find are heavily picture based. The most part will be text / tables though.
Right now I am running the unRovr theme, but it feels kind of dated lately. I am looking for something more elegant now and found the Bridge theme. However, I've read some bad experiences with them on this subreddit.
Do you have any advice foagainst this theme or for any other themes that might fit?

This is my attempt at a re-submission due to some misunderstandings on the first attempt. I now know that there are different definitions of the word “ship”, but for the purposes of this article and to keep things simple I will use the definition of “a relationship that’s rushed and/or forced with no real development.” I hope you can understand as I do not know of any other single word to describe that concept. If you do, perhaps you can tell me. Also, fair warning, this is long form content (some 10 pages), if you like it but can’t read it all at once you can save it and come back to it over a period of time, or you can stop reading whenever you get tired of it and still discuss those parts of it with me that you have read. But keep it civil if you want a civil response.
With that, to qualify the title, no, Ezra and Sabine do NOT absolutely have to be a couple, but if they were to become one, it would NOT be a ship. Ezra and Sabine’s relationship has had years of development. Could they remain as simply friends? Yes, but ironically, it was their “friendship” that felt like more of a ship. It felt like the Ahsoka show, helmed by Dave Filoni, was going out of its way to tell us: “no, they’re not a couple, they’re just friends.”
I believe that Filoni made some very poor writing choices to stress something that didn’t really need to be stressed, such that it almost felt like he was in denial. The line “I love you like a sister” was never in Rebels, Filoni essentially had that retconned in, and like many I was put off by their (largely) emotionless reunion. Even if they were “just friends” I believe there would be a great deal more emotion displayed between two people that hadn’t seen each other in some ten years, especially when one of them was in a precarious situation when they parted. I also believe Ezra would be far more curious about Sabine being Force sensitive, perhaps even offering to help train her when she told him that her training hadn’t gone as well with Ahsoka. He did help to train her with the Darksaber, didn’t he? Why that never came up is another discussion, but for now, let’s focus on shipping.
In case you think I’m desperate to have them as a couple, no I’m not. I’m about the furthest thing from it. Like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers) I DESPISE shipping. Absolutely DESPISE it. With a flaming passion. Perhaps for this reason, and maybe some others, like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers), I’m generally wary of nearly all romance in fiction, and generally avoid it in my own work. The sad reality is that romance is perhaps the most abused genre in all of fiction, all throughout history. It has been so badly abused that many people, including myself for the longest time, have equated romance with shipping, though I’m slowly beginning to see that they are not the same thing, and one does not necessarily have to go with the other.
But sadly, many writers, through time immemorial, have not been able to separate them, going back into ancient times and perhaps even into pre-history, that is before languages were actually written down. Some of what is considered great literature; classics like Romeo and Juliet, are predicated on shipping, though at least the consequences of this “whirlwind romance” are shown to be fairly stark. Star Wars itself is no stranger to shipping, resulting in a very awkward incestuous kiss when Luke was shipped with Leia, then Leia was placed with Han and Lucas made Luke and Leia brother and sister, apparently having forgotten his original ship. Later Lucas essentially shipped Anakin and Padme, resulting in some of the most cringeworthy dialog in the history of film. Many fans of the Prequels even have been somewhat critical of Anakin’s portrayal, particularly in regards to the “romantic” scenes, with many describing them as “creepy”. Some have speculated that this was intentional, though personally I think it was just the result of bad writing on the part of George Lucas, and an impatience on his part for Anakin and Padme to become a couple, hence “shipping”.
One might wonder why this is so prevalent in fiction, and tragically, one does not have to look far. Fiction is merely a reflection of reality, therefore the reason that shipping is so common in our stories is that we fall so easily into it in real life. Indeed, entire cultures may be based around shipping, or at least very heavily wrapped up in it. Throughout history arranged marriages have been the norm, and the idea of marrying for “love” is something relatively new. To be fair, I’ve actually met people in arranged marriages who seemed to be fairly happy, but those same people were very open in telling me that many despise that aspect of their culture, and that it is quite normal for those in an arranged marriage to try to get out.
People might come together for “love” without marrying, but even then it often creates expectations that might turn into a burden. Even when a marriage is voluntary and for “love”, people are often left unsatisfied, such that today in the West the divorce rate is something like 50%. Happy, stable, long term relationships seem to be the exception across cultures and across the breadth and width of time. And yet pursuit of love and some kind of relationship seems to be the highest calling for many people, both in real life and in fiction. And it could be that the accumulated disgust is finally starting to boil over.
To be fair, this may not be the first time in history that the pendulum has shifted. You may recall that in Victorian times attitudes changed drastically, as compared to the previously bawdy Elizabethan times. Looking at a play from Shakespear, if you can understand the language, you’ll see all kinds of vulgar references, as well as what I believe are fairly sappy romances like in the aforementioned Romeo and Juliet, though I can’t say for certain whether Shakespear was actually endorsing that type of attitude towards “love” or presenting it as a cautionary tale, maybe even something to be ridiculed in some of his other plays.
But regardless, Victorians as you may well know had a very conservative attitude towards anything to do with romance, and would often avoid the subject in many places, or tread very carefully around it, as if walking on eggshells. It’s not that people stopped being romantic, in fiction or real life, but it was treated as something very serious and even dangerous, with many urges repressed or even suppressed entirely. This had all kinds of effects on society, both positive and negative. On the positive side, it reinforced the ideal of people being committed to their partners, and of marriage as a sacred institution rather than a “casual hookup” as was more common in Elizabethan times. Likewise it reinforced ideals of modesty and chastity, which may be coming back into vogue, though under different names. But just as there were positive aspects to these attitudes, so were there negative ones.
Just because the urges I described were repressed did not mean that they disappeared. In fact, they often morphed into things that many would consider “unhealthy”. From one statistic that I saw, in Victorian times about one in every 60 houses was a brothel, with the modern rate being closer to one in 6000. Additionally, the rights of women were often repressed, such that they could not fully express themselves and find their own identity, and path in life, as individuals. Just as Elizabethan ideals gave way to Victorian ones, so did the Victorian ideals gradually begin to erode.
Perhaps it began with the Jazz Age of the 1920’s (the “Roaring Twenties”), or with the increased interconnectivity of people traveling to different parts of the world during World War I, not to mention the cynicism that pervaded throughout the West in response to failed old ideals leading to the deadliest war in history up to that point, but many Victorian ideals began to be seen as a joke, and even resented for their “oppression”, which to be fair was not entirely unjustified. But regardless, people gradually, and at times not so gradually, became more and more “liberated” and promiscuous. This culminated in the Sexual Revolution in the late 1960’s, when what had previously been seen as a vice and even a sin was now seen as not only “normal” but as a healthy form of expression, a virtue even. And just as these ideas were embraced in real life, so too were they reflected in our films, TV shows, and other media, often to the consternation of older people and institutions, like the Vatican. The Catholic Church even went so far as to “ban” certain films, that is to declare them immoral for good Catholics to watch. Many of the films that were banned back then, or at least controversial, like The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman, are fairly tame by today’s standards.
It continued through the 70’s, at times warming and at times cooling through the rest of the century, until you could argue it reached a kind of crescendo in the early 21st century with the advent of so-called “dark romance” and the publication of books like Fifty Shades of Grey. (Ironically, many of the themes within this “dark romance” can trace their roots back to the Victorian era, yet another indication that repressing urges without addressing them often doesn’t work out as one might hope.) But as happens all too often, just as something reaches peak popularity is when it begins to go out of style, and that is what we may be experiencing right now. As weird as it may sound, we may actually have come full circle and may be on the cusp of a “New Victorian Age” (complete with “dark romance”, even). Web sites like Porn Hub and OnlyFans, as well as other similar sites, may be the new “brothels”, and what was once openly celebrated may be going underground, to an extent. The effects of this on society have been interesting to say the least, and at times I would even say bizarre.
Whilst many younger people seem content with these changes, many older people are concerned. I’ve seen a number of books, films, and other media receive positive reviews for example based specifically on their lack of romance. Many of these books/films, etc. fall into the “young adult” category, meaning that it is young adults obviously who mostly consume them. At the same time I’ve heard a number of older people, mostly boomers and Gen-Xers, criticize these same books/films for their lack of romance. Even some older millennials seem upset by the changes, as perhaps evidenced by Jennifer Lawrence’s latest film No Hard Feelings (though to be fair that film may be lampooning the older generation’s frustration as well as the younger generation’s frigidity). So just as in the past older people were concerned about the promiscuity of the youth, now it actually appears that many older people are concerned about the youth’s lack of promiscuity.
Who could have seen that coming? But to be fair, the younger generation hasn’t gone completely frigid. As stated earlier, much of the promiscuity has gone “underground”, or online, which many would argue is not very healthy as it might undermine actual relationships, whether they are romantic in nature or simple friendships. And speaking of that, friendships within stories nowadays often aren’t portrayed in a very authentic or compelling manner, perhaps because in ditching romance modern writers haven’t quite yet learned how to replace it with something else. In other words, the “New Victorian Age” may not be an exact repeat of the previous one, but may have its own twists and turns, for better and for worse.
This may all essentially be a manifestation of the Human Condition, in that we just can’t seem to find a happy medium, neither in real life nor in fiction. Thus we keep swinging from one extreme to the other, apparently getting wilder with each swing.
So where does all this leave us? What is it that we really want in our lives, and in our stories? Especially in regards to relationships? I think at some level we all want to see good and healthy relationships between people and/or characters, whether romantic or platonic. I believe at some point we would like to see good examples of both friendship and romance, and I would argue that the best examples of romance have them combined. Even a toxic relationship, if well portrayed or documented, can be instructive and serve as a good example of what to avoid in our lives that we might be happier and relate better to each other. A good relationship, by contrast, can give us something to aspire to and inspire us to not only look for the right kind of person to complement our lives, but to make ourselves worthy of that person. And here I’ll add that I’m perfectly aware that in real life (and thus in fiction) relationships can be very complicated and heavily nuanced, with elements of both “good” and “bad” in them. Just as people change over time so can the relationships between them change, at times getting better and at times worse, sometimes breaking entirely and sometimes growing stronger. Relationships can have just as many layers and dimensions as characters, more even perhaps, and a skilled writer should be able to reflect this complexity. At other times a relationship can be fairly straightforward, simplicity sometimes being the best approach. But regardless, the audience should be able to relate and identify with what they are seeing, such that hopefully they can incorporate the lessons from it in their own lives.
Where can we find good examples of relationships to study? There may be a number of them in the real world, but the trouble with studying real world relationships is that they’re often much more complicated than fictional ones (just as real people are more complicated than fictional characters), and for many of them it is almost impossible to know all the details and nuances because they are often kept private, understandably so, and even if they aren’t it can still be difficult, due to unique circumstances, to see how to relate them to our own lives. Additionally there may be far more disagreement about a real life situation than a fictional one, with many more points of view. To keep things simple, for the purpose of this article I would like to focus on fictional relationships. (And fair warning, there will be some spoilers.)
One of the best places to look, I would argue, would be the films of Hayao Miyazaki. (And this is pretty significant to Star Wars as you will see in a bit.) A film of his that stands out to me the most is Princess Mononoke. Like many of Miyazaki’s films it has elements of romance, and yet subverts them in a way that makes complete sense and feels very genuine, without taking away from any of the accompanying charm. It starts with two young people, San and Ashitaka, and as soon as they encounter each other there is a kind of expectation of romance. This may be inevitable to some degree when you have a man and a woman of about the same age encounter each other in a story, especially if they happen to be adolescents. The expectation may not be inherently bad, and Miyazaki does play with it. Both characters are thrust into dangerous situations, at various points end up saving each other’s lives, and at a certain point I think it is obvious that they have feelings for each other. I was certain that at the end of the film, they would be together, and if things had gone that way, it would make complete sense. Instead, they go in different directions, but remain good friends, and considering their backgrounds and differing worldviews, this ends up making even more sense to the story.
Essentially, Miyazaki could have gone for the more conventional, tried and true “love conquers all” narrative, where the characters’ feelings for each other would negate everything that comes between them, they would somehow find a common ground in spite of their differences, the romance would not only take over the narrative but somehow also solve all the problems in the story, and then the couple would live “happily ever after”. Such an approach is not inherently bad or wrong, and is fairly common in Western media and storytelling. We can see it in films like Fern Gully, and more recently James Cameron’s Avatar, both of which have been compared to Princess Mononoke. As you can probably guess, the problem is that at a certain point such a narrative can become fairly simplistic, and lack nuance.
Miyazaki’s films, by contrast, are very heavily nuanced, and are anything but simplistic. In Princess Mononoke the characters San and Ashitaka don’t help each other simply because they are “in love”, but because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how they might feel about each other. Yes, romantic feelings are certainly alluded to, but they are not essential to the plot, for it could have worked just as well without any romantic allusions. And ironically, this makes those allusions even more valid, even if they are unrequited. How so?
Consider that if love is essential to a given narrative, is it not relegated to being nothing more than a plot device? Again, this is quite common in Western media and storytelling, and is not inherently bad or wrong, but when it becomes a trope or cliche, I believe it is the essence of where shipping comes from. Many storytellers get caught up in this, usually without realizing it, and while a story can still work even with shipping, I believe that it usually works that much better without it.
This extends not only to Miyazaki’s handling of romance but also to other things like environmentalism, the conflict between man and nature, and the contrasting ideals of human progress vs. preserving the natural order. Movies like Fern Gully and Avatar, as already mentioned, handle these themes in a fairly simplistic and I would even say hamfisted manner, whereby all progress and technology is shown as being inherently “bad” and in service to “evil”, while everything that’s “natural” is shown to be inherently “good”. Even our notions of good and evil, and right vs. wrong, are challenged by Miyazaki, with nearly all of his characters having complex motives and multiple dimensions to them, as well as understandable reasons for doing the things that they do. Rarely can any one of his characters be branded as a simple “villain”, and rarely is any one individual the source of conflict in his stories, again in contrast to most Western narratives.
I’ll reiterate once more, a simple, straightforward narrative is not inherently a bad thing, whether the themes being dealt with are romantic or anything else. Sometimes it is in fact the best approach. But the best stories in my opinion are usually the most nuanced, that challenge our notions of what we believe to be true, and that force us to think about what we do with our lives and what we could do differently. To that end Miyazaki introduces all manner of themes and motifs within his films that are familiar to us but shows them in a light most of us might not have considered, thus giving more dimension to our understanding of things.
“How is any of this related to Star Wars?” you might ask. It is quite related, and you don’t even have to look all that closely to see it. A very influential figure within Star Wars was very heavily inspired by the works of Miyazaki, and that figure is Dave Filoni.
This video shows the connections in some detail:
https://youtu.be/Q_4L0BbSpHo?si=04jDo6qFCnZT135w
But to summarize if you’ve seen any of Miyazaki’s films, especially Princess Mononoke, I think the callbacks in Filoni’s work will be all too obvious, especially in Star Wars Rebels. Some of the scenes in Filoni’s work look like they were taken directly from Miyazki’s films, and many of the same themes and motifs often come up. The relationship between San and Ashitaka I would argue is very similar to the relationship between Ezra and Sabine, and not just because both couples rode wolves together.
Incidentally, Dave Filoni was also heavily involved in Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I would also argue was at least to some degree inspired if not by Miyazaki then by Japanese anime in general. The relationship between Aang and Katara was developed with great care and was allowed to build very slowly, as opposed to simply shipping them. Likewise other characters very gradually developed as individuals and in their relationships, at times stumbling as they did so, and making mistakes, before finding their way back to the right path.
All of this is in stark contrast to George Lucas, whose character development is often very rushed at best, and at times some might say almost non-existent. So essentially, even though Lucas has said that Filoni has been “like a son” to him, and I believe referred to Filoni as his “padawan”, I would argue that Filoni is ultimately as much a student of Miyazaki as he is of Lucas.
Again, you might ask, “What does all this mean for Star Wars?” It means a great many things. It means that Dave Filoni has taken Miyazaki’s lessons to heart, and can handle things like romance, as well as other kinds of relationships, quite well most of the time. Like Miyazaki he can play with romance, tease the audience with it at times even, leave the romance unrequited, and yet still have it feel satisfying. A prime example of this is the love triangle that Ahsoka was involved in with the young Separatist Senator, Lux Bonteri, and Steela Gerrera. As wary as I am of romance and as much as I despise shipping, love triangles I normally despise even more, but this one seemed to actually work. It never took over the main story, and even though Ahsoka’s feelings were ultimately not reciprocated, she still learned from the experience, and grew and developed further as a character because of it. The other characters involved in this triangle also grew and developed from their involvement, though unfortunately not all of them made it. All in all it was a good bit of storytelling and gave the audience something to consider.
When a relationship in one of Filoni’s stories does bloom into a full blown romance he also generally handles it quite well. For one Filoni is sparing with actual romance, so that when it does occur, it can be that much more appreciated. And rather than rushing or shipping it, Filoni normally takes his time to build it up. An example of this is the relationship between Kanan and Hera. Some might argue that this is perhaps the best developed romance in all of Star Wars, at least in Canon. Built up over four seasons, at times it wasn’t certain whether it was a romance or a friendship, or perhaps even a professional partnership. Perhaps even the characters themselves were not certain, though it was hinted all throughout the narrative that something was going on. To this day I don’t believe anyone can say definitively when it became an actual romance, and I believe Filoni did this intentionally because he wanted to be subtle, rather than making things too obvious and having the romance take over the narrative, as it usually does. When it finally did become obvious as to what was happening, it felt very much earned, in a way that is seldom accomplished in other works of fiction, including Star Wars.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine was also fairly well written, for the most part anyway, at least in Star Wars Rebels. Ezra was almost immediately smitten with Sabine, but being a young teenage boy, it was understandable that he would feel that way about an attractive girl. Over time he learned to see her more respectfully, as a colleague and even as part of his adopted family, not just as a pretty face. Sabine for her part found Ezra annoying at first (c’mon, what teenage boy isn’t?), but as he matured and she found out more about him she came to understand and respect him more, and see him as a friend and almost a brother, with there being potential for something more.
There were times when the relationship could have been better written, like in the episode “Blood Sisters”, where Ezra was written to be a bit too immature to make Sabine look wiser. But overall, the bond between them developed fairly well; both saved one another at various times, and took risks and made sacrifices for each other’s sake. Both reassured and comforted the other when they needed it, and it was endearing to hear their banter when they became more familiar and trusting of each other.
So why then was I so disappointed in how they were portrayed in the Ahsoka show? The thing is, after how well their relationship was built up in Rebels, as I’ve already mentioned it was strange to see how lackluster and uninspired their reunion was.
Within the Ahsoka show itself Sabine was shown to be almost obsessed with finding Ezra, living in what used to be his home, watching a recording of him over and over again, and calling out his name as she woke up in the middle of the night. She even risked bringing Thrawn back into the Galaxy, which ultimately happened, just so she could see Ezra again. After all that, when she finally does encounter him, her reaction seems fairly casual, as does his, as if they’ve been apart for no more than a week, rather than 10 years. Not too much happens between them afterwards either. Like I said Ezra does not appear all that curious about what happened with Sabine, how she found him, and how it was that she was now Force sensitive. Sabine likewise did not seem curious about what had happened with Ezra, and how he had gotten away from Thrawn. And with Ezra rescued and returned home, suddenly it didn’t seem as though Sabine was all that interested in him anymore, nor he all that concerned with her, though they were just as far apart as they had been at the start of the show. To be completely honest it made me wonder what the point of the whole show was. Were they just working to set up Thrawn’s return to the Galaxy? As some have said, Ezra felt like nothing more than a Macguffin in the show. Was Sabine and Ahsoka’s search for him just a plot device?
Considering how skillfully Dave Filoni had written his stories in the past, what happened in this latest project of his does not make much sense. Was he so concerned about “shipping” and so desperate to avoid it that he inadvertently “shipped” them in the other direction? Was there some sort of external pressure on him about how to write this story to have more of an appeal to “modern audiences”? Maybe some combination of those factors?
And here I’ll add that when I say “modern audiences” I don’t mean that in a contemptuous sense, though you may think I do. If there is any contempt on my part it is for those in charge of telling our stories, or those in charge of those telling our stories, who do not seem to grasp these basic truths. The truth is that audiences at their core don’t really change throughout the ages, only superficially so. Trends come and go but certain truths and ideals are eternal, and universal. How people relate to each other fundamentally does not change, whether they are friends, or more than friends. And deep down, I believe everyone (or nearly everyone at least) wants the same things. Nearly everyone at some point wants some kind of a connection with another human being, to know that they are not alone in the world, and to know that there is someone else who sees and understands things as they do. While this desire can certainly lead to abuse, and absolutely has, it is still innate to us and is not inherently wrong. Finding ways of connecting and relating to other people is one of the great challenges of life, but many would argue it is the most worthwhile of challenges. It may be the whole point of life if you think about it. As complex as it may be, many would argue it is what makes life worth living, and likewise makes for the best stories. Just as it may be the whole point of life many would say that is what most stories are about at their core: people trying to relate to one another.
Sadly, just as in real life, most stories unfortunately don’t quite get it, and the Ahsoka show in my opinion was an example of this, made all the sadder by the fact that Dave Filoni had done quite well with these characters up to that point. We may never know for certain what exactly went wrong and why, or if it can ever be “fixed” at this point, but I can’t help but feel curious. Maybe in the future Filoni will find a way to make it make sense, but I’m not sure how. And to be completely honest I don’t feel quite as enthusiastic to find out as I used to.
Also for the record I would like to add here that there are other factors that put me off from the show, such as Sabine’s Force sensitivity, that came about without much build up. But in this article I specifically wanted to focus on shipping because there seems to be so much misunderstanding around it.
I hope that I was able to clarify some, if not most of this misunderstanding, so that people could better appreciate what shipping is, where it comes from, as well as what it isn’t. Many people today are understandably sick of shipping characters, myself included. But I hope people realize that in overcompensating for something, we often come back around into the very thing that we are overcompensating for. Or sometimes, into something even worse. This may apply to nearly every facet of life, by the way, not just shipping. Finding a happy medium in how we portray our fictional relationships may help us to better understand relationships in real life, as well as how to navigate them. Neither fictional nor actual relationships can ever be perfect but they can always be better. To this understanding then I hope that I was able to give my own modest contribution, and if nothing else I hope we can connect on that.

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The mobile payment market is rapidly expanding, driven by increasing smartphone penetration and a shift towards digital transactions. This market enables users to make payments using mobile devices, often through apps or mobile banking. It encompasses various methods, including NFC (Near Field Communication), QR codes, and SMS-based payments. Key growth factors include convenience, improved security features, and the rise of e-commerce. Major players include tech giants like Apple, Google, and Paytm. The market is also seeing significant innovations in fintech and regulatory support for cashless transactions, catering to a tech-savvy, convenience-seeking global consumer base.
Mobile Payment Market Size and Growth
The mobile payment market has exhibited significant growth, with the global market size valued at nearly USD 2,986.00 billion in 2023. This surge is propelled by the widespread adoption of smartphones and the increasing acceptance of digital transactions across various sectors. Consumers and businesses alike are leveraging mobile payment technologies for their convenience, speed, and enhanced security features. This market includes a range of payment methods such as NFC, QR codes, and mobile wallets, which have become integral to the daily financial interactions of millions globally.
Looking ahead, the market is poised for continued expansion. It is projected to grow at a compound annual growth rate (CAGR) of 18.8% from 2024 to 2032. By the end of this period, the market size is expected to reach approximately USD 14,422.00 billion. This growth trajectory is supported by technological advancements, increasing financial inclusivity, and evolving consumer behaviors that favor contactless and cashless payment options. Additionally, regulatory changes and the introduction of more sophisticated payment solutions are set to further boost market growth, reflecting an increasing dependency on digital payment platforms in the global economy.
Mobile Payment Market Trends
The mobile payment market is characterized by several key trends that are shaping its evolution and growth:
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1. Increased Adoption of Contactless Payments: The trend towards contactless payments has accelerated, particularly due to health concerns raised by the COVID-19 pandemic. Consumers prefer tapping their phones or smartwatches over traditional cash or card transactions, driving the widespread adoption of NFC (Near Field Communication) technology.
   
2. Growth in E-commerce: As online shopping continues to grow, so does the use of mobile payments for digital transactions. Consumers find it convenient to pay directly through mobile apps or websites, which has fostered tighter integration of payment systems into e-commerce platforms.
   
3. Rise of Mobile Wallets: Mobile wallets like Apple Pay, Google Wallet, and Samsung Pay are becoming increasingly popular. These platforms not only allow users to store multiple payment methods securely but also offer rewards and the ability to manage financial transactions from a single interface.
   
4. Financial Inclusion: Mobile payments are playing a crucial role in enhancing financial inclusion, especially in developing countries where traditional banking infrastructure is limited. Mobile money solutions provide a gateway for unbanked and underbanked populations to participate in the financial system.
   
5. Regulatory and Security Enhancements: As the volume of mobile payments increases, so does the focus on security. Advanced authentication technologies, including biometrics and blockchain, are being implemented to ensure transaction security. Additionally, regulations are being updated to protect consumers and ensure fair practices within the mobile payments ecosystem.
   
6. Integration with IoT: The Internet of Things (IoT) is increasingly intersecting with mobile payments, enabling transactions through connected devices. Examples include smart appliances that can reorder supplies automatically and cars that can pay for fuel or tolls.
   

Market Opportunities and Challenges
The mobile payment market presents a range of opportunities and challenges that influence its development and scalability:
Opportunities

1. Expansion into New Markets: With mobile penetration increasing globally, there's significant opportunity for mobile payment solutions to expand into emerging markets, particularly in regions like Africa, Asia, and Latin America, where traditional banking infrastructure is less developed.
   
2. Technological Innovation: Innovations such as blockchain and cryptocurrencies offer new ways to conduct secure, transparent transactions. These technologies can reduce fraud and enhance the efficiency of payments, presenting a substantial growth opportunity for the industry.
   
3. Partnerships with Financial Institutions: By partnering with banks and other financial institutions, mobile payment providers can tap into existing customer bases while offering enhanced services, such as improved security features and loyalty programs.
   
4. Integration with Other Services: Mobile payments can be integrated with other services like public transport systems, healthcare, and retail, providing seamless payment experiences and increasing user engagement and satisfaction.
   

Challenges

1. Security Concerns: Despite advancements, security remains a significant concern. The risk of data breaches and fraud can deter users from adopting mobile payment solutions, necessitating continuous improvements in security measures.
   
2. Regulatory Compliance: The mobile payment sector faces complex and varied regulations across different regions, which can complicate expansion efforts and increase operational costs. Compliance with these regulations is crucial but challenging, especially for new entrants.
   
3. Fragmentation and Interoperability: The market is fragmented with numerous platforms and standards, making interoperability a significant challenge. Consumers and merchants may find it difficult to navigate these varied systems, which can hinder the adoption and scalability of mobile payment solutions.
   
4. Consumer Trust and Adoption: Building consumer trust is essential, especially in regions where cash has been the predominant mode of transaction. Changing consumer habits and convincing them of the benefits and reliability of mobile payments is a gradual and ongoing challenge.
   

Market Dynamics
The mobile payment market is driven by a complex interplay of dynamics that include technological advancements, consumer behavior, regulatory frameworks, and economic factors. Here are some of the key dynamics shaping this market:

1. Technological Advancements: Technology is at the core of the mobile payment market's expansion. Innovations such as near-field communication (NFC), blockchain, and biometric authentication are enhancing the security and efficiency of mobile payments. These advancements not only improve user experience but also expand the scope of mobile payments in terms of capabilities and reach.
   
2. Consumer Adoption and Behavior: Consumer preferences are shifting towards convenience and speed in transactions, which mobile payments can offer. The widespread use of smartphones has facilitated this shift, making mobile payments more accessible to a broader audience. However, consumer behavior can vary significantly across different regions and demographics, influencing the pace and pattern of adoption.
   
3. Regulatory Environment: The regulatory landscape for mobile payments is evolving as governments worldwide recognize the importance of regulating digital transactions to ensure security and prevent fraud. Regulations affect how companies operate, the level of security required, and the introduction of new features or services. Compliance with these regulations can be both a challenge and a driving force for innovation within the market.
   
4. Economic Impact: Economic factors, including disposable income levels and the overall economic environment, play a crucial role in the adoption of mobile payments. In thriving economies, consumers are more likely to engage with new technologies, including mobile payments. Conversely, in regions with less economic stability, the adoption might be driven by necessity, such as for financial inclusion of the unbanked.
   
5. Competitive Landscape: The mobile payment market is highly competitive, with major tech companies, traditional banks, and fintech startups vying for market share. This competition fosters innovation and drives improvements in service offerings, but it also creates a fragmented market landscape that can confuse consumers and complicate interoperability between different payment systems.
   
6. Integration with Other Industries: Mobile payments are increasingly integrated with other sectors such as retail, transportation, and healthcare, which opens new avenues for growth but also requires complex collaborations and partnerships. These integrations often lead to improved customer service and operational efficiencies.
   

Competitive Landscape
The key players in the industry includes:

• American Express Company
• Apple, Inc.
• Google LLC
• JPMorgan Chase & Co.
• Mastercard Incorporated
• Paytm (One 97 Communications Limited)
• Paypal Holdings, Inc.
• Others

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I really enjoyed Gears 5 but the support for it just died for no reason. Despite having an active player count and being able to find lobbies (In the UK aswell, so a smaller country. I can't even find games in Halo Infinite outside peek hours) within all game types. For no reason the support just got cut off with no news of another gears game.
I really hope this doesn't happen again. If your gonna end support for a game then atleast have something new on the horizon. I feel like everyone has just forgotten about gears or has stopped caring about it. I'm sick of Microsoft treating their IPs like garbage all the time.
I'm just worried the reason we ain't heard much on gears and that they pulled the plug in 5 with nothing. Is because this game mite also be struggling due to Microsoft's seemingly poor management of studios. And making them use contractors who by the time they start getting settled, they are training the next person to take their place. I'm somewhat glad this is failing for them thou as maybe it will teach them to stop treating staff so poorly to save money. Hopefully they have learned that this is costing them more cos the games aren't coming out in good shape.
The Coalition has got the bonus of using unreal engine. Allowing new staff to understand the toolset a bit more. So we will have to see.
What do you all think?

Just looking for advice or experience.
I'm barely a month out and am in no rush to get into another relationship. I've got a lot of work to do on myself and that's enough for me at the moment.
I know time periods are different for everyone but was curious as to anyone's experience after leaving their narc. How did it work out? Did you have a conversation with the new person about it, if so how long did you wait to tell them about your experience etc? I know it's gonna be trial and error and I'm 41, so dating is all brand new to me again. I gave myself a time of 6 months minimum.
Anything positive or negative welcome. Just looking for insight. Don't worry.... I'm not jumping into something right away.

Hi its me again!. anyways, im looking for coffee date tonight. I love to have a date and umaasa na may spark hehehe. anyways about me;
-5'5 tall,
-petite,
-college student ,
-independent,
-genuine naman ahahhaha and kinda sponti person.
about you naman simple;
-taller than me.
-average body built
-student or working is good
-sense of humour
-near at qc
-genuine din
-mabango ahhahahah ayoko yun savage medyo underrated na kasi.
well, dm me for plan tonight. see yahh