Label the volcano

Trying to sell all my old GameCube games. Tried to label all the ones that still have the manual with them. Lmk for pictures on any of the games.
(w/ manual) ATV2 Quad Power Racing $10
Big Mutha Truckers $8
(w/ manual) Disney's Pixar Cars $10
(w/ manual) Disney's Chcien Little $10
(w/ manual) Dragon Ball Z: Budokai $20
Disney's Pixars Finding Nemo $9
(w/ manual) The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy $35
(w/ manual) Harry Potteer and The Prisoner of Askaban $17
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets $10
Harry Potter Quidditch World Cup $9
Lego Star Wars $10
(w/ manual) Lego Star Wars II $15
(w/ manual) Marvel Nemesis Rise of the Imperfects $17
Mario Party 5 $15 (damaged case)
Mario Party 7 $25
Medal of Honor Frontline $10
Nickelodeon Party Blast $8
Nicktoons Unite $16
Nicktoons Battle of Volcano Island$10
(w/ manual) Nickelodeon Avatar The last Airbender $12
(w/ manual) Naruto Clash of Ninja $14
(w/ manual) Naruto Clash of Ninja 2 $18
(w/ manual) Pokemon Collosuem $120
(w/ manual) Rampage Total Destruction $20
Sonic Mega Collection $13
(w/ manual) Sonic Gems Collections $35
Sonic Riders $20
(w/ manual) Spider-Man $17
Spider-Man 2 $12
One Piece Grand Battle $20
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 $15
Tony Hawk's Underground $15
Tony Hawk's Underground 2 $15
Tony Hawk's American Wasteland $15
The Incredibles $9
(w/ manual) Teen Titans $30
The Lord of The Rings The Two Towers $10
(w/ manual) Ultimate Spider-Man $40
(w/ manual) WWE WrestleMania XIX $23
(w/ manual) X men The Official Game $15
(w/ manual) Zatch Bell Mamodo Battles $30

Remember the human
Abide by community rules
Respect the privacy of others
Don't impersonate other people or entities
Properly label the Not Safe For Working (NSFW) content
Keep it legal
Don't break Reddit (a lot of us really like it here)
@Volcano Squad

Remember the human
Abide by community rules
Respect the privacy of others
Don't impersonate other people or entities
Properly label the Not Safe For Working (NSFW) content
Keep it legal
Don't break Reddit (a lot of us really like it here)
@Volcano Squad

• Meet the Kyanah -- the alien civilization I've been working on since 2016
• A Primer on Kyanah Physiology
• Aliens Deserve Alien Brains
• A Primer on Kyanah Pack Dynamics
• Advanced Kyanah Psychology: Inter-Pack Dynamics
• The Motives for Project Hope: Part I
• The Motives for Project Hope: Part II
• The Motives for Project Hope: Part III
• The Motives for Project Hope: Part IV
• The Motives for Project Hope: Part V
• Intro to Kyanah Politics
• An (abridged) Beastiary of the Kyanah Homeworld
• Plantlife of the Kyanah Homeworld
• An Analysis of Kyanah Military Forces: Part I -- Tech
• An Analysis of Kyanah Military Forces: Part II -- Organizational Structure
• An Analysis of Kyanah Military Forces: Part III -- Military Doctrine
• Alien Computers Are Alien
• Alien Computers Are Alien -- Part II: Kyanah-Human Cyberwarfare
• Alien Computers Are Alien -- Part III: A Guide to Kyanah Internets
• A Look Into the Kyanah Education System
• A Rare Look at Kyanah Living Spaces
• A Primer on Kyanah Economics
• Kyanah Food and Drink
• The Kyanah Have A Desert Planet -- Wait No It Has 12 Biomes: Part I
• The Kyanah Have A Desert Planet -- Wait No It Has 12 Biomes: Part II
• Kyanah City-State Dynamics: Part I -- Intercity Relations
• Kyanah City-State Dynamics: Part II -- City-State Demographics

Finally, after eight years, a definitive map of the Kyanah homeworld. No more vague handwaving and here-be-dragons nonsense.
https://i.imgur.com/upQLM6w.png
(Main image)
https://i.imgur.com/FhoQbk0.png
(Plus labels)
In red are the impact ranges, the equivalent to mountain ranges since they have no tectonic plates on their homeworld. These are, as previously discussed, formed by debris streams from colossal asteroids--dozens of kilometers across before breaking apart--crossing orbits with the world, creating devastating meteor showers year after year, each event creating more and more craters and impact peaks and ejecta piles until the large rocks mostly run out after a few centuries. These impacts aren't always uniformly distributed across their entire great circle, and geological processes like erosion can wear away parts of an impact range over millions of years, so all the ranges have discontinuities, giving the illusion that they're separate mountain chains. However, by the time Kyanah science reached the level of 17th century Earth, geologists realized that they were all connected to others along great circle lines, and for this reason their maps usually fill in the gaps where the mountains have eroded away over time, hence the thin red lines. All the impact ranges are named after colors, a fact which has everything to do with early modern cartographers drawing each one in a particular color, and nothing to do with me being lazy. Exactly how these debris streams impact along great circles instead of just randomly impacting all over the place was not discovered until their science reached the level of the 20th century, and the Aktektan Effect was discovered: unique minerals in the Tau Ceti system's asteroid belt interact with the solar wind to produce a slight electrostatic charge preventing asteroid fragments from rapidly dispersing and instead holding them together in a relatively dense and narrow stream, allowing for the creation of cohesive impact ranges. (In-universe, the Aktektan Effect also explains how the Tau Ceti system has an enormously dense asteroid belt despite being older than the Solar System.)
Of course, not all impacts arrive in the form of debris streams, there have been plenty of one-off impacts over the eons. Dozens of recognizable independent impact craters over 50 kilometers across can be found on the planet, with the biggest being 300 kilometers across and still almost 2 kilometers deep despite being filled in over millions of years. The lack of oceans and less frequent rain has kept many of these craters well preserved, with who knows how many having eroded away or been buried. While there are no plate tectonics to create large volcano chains, some volcanoes have formed over hot spots or as a result of asteroid impacts; these stand alone or in small clusters, with only dozens of active ones instead of thousands like on Earth.
There are a bit over a hundred major Kyanah city-states with populations over 10 million individuals. Most of these occur in clusters, though there are a few one-off ones that gained such a high population due to their own assorted economic or political quirks. These clusters also, needless to say, have hundreds or even thousands of smaller city-states in between the larger ones. Major city-state clusters include:
The Rktakian Kwardniet (literally Civilized Plateau) (region 1), with 9 major city-states. As a whole, this is the wealthiest and most developed region on the planet, with 14 of the 20 strongest militaries. However, it wasn't always the political and economic center of the world; in pre-modern times, it was far from the wealthiest region, as it as locked out of the major ancient trade routes on all sides. To the north was the White Impact Range, to the west, the Red Impact Range, and to the south, the hot and desolate Dunelands, and the treacherous Shatter, where extant parts of the Yellow, Blue, and Black Impact Ranges (the first of which being the newest and thus most chaotic one, only 34 million Earth years old) cross each other in the same place, creating the widest and highest reach of shattered land in the world. Even in modern times, there are no railways or paved roads through the Shatter, and the vast majority of all travelers and commerce go around or fly over it; to pre-modern Kyanah in the Dunelands and the Rktakian Kwardniet, it truly seemed like the edge of the world. As time went on, they eventually had their own Age of Discovery and joined the ever-expanding global trade networks in earnest. However, the increase in contact between different parts of the world also spread disease and started a deadly pandemic called the Shadow. Without a scientific understanding of viruses or oceans to stop its spread, it circled out the planet, wiping out as many as a billion lives according to some estimates. The Rktakian Kwardniet was particularly hard-hit, losing over a quarter of their population in a generation, which necessitated the adoption of mechanization and industrialization to adapt to the labor shortage. Naturally, this proved to be a blessing in disguise, as the region underwent a meteoric rise in wealth and prosperity, and the first city-states to industrialize gained enormous political influence over the rest of the world. After the Utopian Wars, the rise of Ikun, the establishment of the Hegemony, and the Globalist doctrine further boosted the region's strength, partially at the expense of the poor equatorial regions. The gradual shift to a post-industrial service/information economy and their extensive lead in commercializing space during the Hegemony also contributed significantly. Though as of the Project Hope era, their crown is slipping as city-states in several other regions are rapidly catching up. Many packs from the Dunelands to the south have been immigrating here in recent decades, fleeing drought, corruption, and war to start anew in the wealthier northern city-states.
The Far South (region 2), with 20 major city-states. Currently the second most economically developed region on the planet, this cluster is located along an extant section of the Green Impact Range in the far southern hemisphere (duh). The northern side of the mountains tends to have a surprisingly mild climate for its latitude due to the westerlies bringing warmer air into the region, though the southern side (where a few major city-states have set up shop) is the opposite, with the very same mountains trapping them in a wind shadow with the dry, frigid polar air, creating exceptionally frigid (by Kyanah standards) climates; snow flurries aren't an uncommon sight in the winter, though they rarely accumulate. Most Far South city-states on both sides have the midnight sun and polar night, which both play a big role in their religion and culture, with huge festivals and ceremonies every year at the last sunset before polar night, and the sunrise of the polar day. The biggest reason these areas are densely inhabited in the first place is for the mining of precious metals and valuable minerals deposited by asteroids via the impact range. This meant that the Far South had a relatively poor economy centered around resource extraction and raw materials until after the Utopian Wars and the establishment of the Hegemony. It was at this point that they began to rapidly industrialize and undergo a second population boom to reach the vast population levels of modern times. While plenty of mining cities remain, the most prosperous ones have pivoted to high-tech industry, including but not limited to vehicles, satellites, robotics, consumer electronics, and computer hardware/software. This factor alone doesn't entirely explain the vast population boom; additionally, many of these city-states have a deeply religious populace that puts a high value on procreation. This is often encouraged by their governments, some of which even have hatchling quotas in order to boost their population to economically (and perhaps eventually militarily) compete with the Rktakian Kwardniet; many governments in the region dislike the Hegemony and are neutral to hostile towards the north, though Ikun and other Rktakian Kwardniet have various allies in the region all the same.
The Meatbucket (region 3), with 5 major city-states. This region is characterized by having some of the wettest climates on the planet, with rains exceeding 50 centimeters per Earth year. Trade winds being deflected northwards by an outcropping of the Black Impact Range, westerlies being deflected around the White Impact Range, and polar easterlies from the north all meet here, creating extensive storm systems. Combined with fertile soil being deposited against the White Impact Range by these winds, this is the best agricultural region in the northern hemisphere, a fact which the Kyanah have taken full advantage of; even in modern times, it remains the planet's breadbasket. Despite most city-states having an economy primarily based around agriculture and light industry, it has an average standard of living rivaling that of the Rktakian Kwardniet itself. Due to being next door to said region, it has enjoyed some of the knock-on effects from early industrialization and was an early adopter of high-tech mechanized agriculture, allowing it to produce more meat and livestock feed than any other region. Politically, while the Meatbucket city-states tend to stay out of the drama and convoluted geopolitical games between the north and the south, they also tend to maintain friendly relations with city-states in the Rktakian Kwardniet. Most governments in this region are quite stable and have relatively low levels of corruption. Though much like the Rktakian Kwardniet, the Meatbucket also has many immigrants coming from their south (the Nyruietkot Riyentkin), and also like the Rktakian Kwardniet, this tends to be politically controversial.
The Boreal Cities (region 4), with 14 major city-states. Spread widely across the planet's far northern hemisphere, and often not very culturally or diplomatically involved with each other these city-states are mostly found in the boreal scrubland, with a few in the boreal savanna. Despite mostly having a middling income and unremarkable economy by global standards, several city-states have attained a vast population simply by being very old, though it hasn't been a global power center for centuries, if not millennia. The boreal scrublands are the Kyanahs' ancestral homeland and the hatching place of the first civilizations, so many city-states have been around for thousands of years and gradually accumulated many, many packs. The low density of oases also encourages populations to clump together. The region tends to have a cool and damp climate by the planet's standards...though humans would call it warm and semi-arid.
The Western Sector (region 5), with 5 major city-states. Like the Rktakian Kwardniet to its immediate east, it is also wedged between the White and Red Impact Ranges, though it's separated from the other region by the White Impact Range. While being early to industrialize due to their proximity to the Rktakian Kwardniet, and thus having a high standard of living, most of them never caught up to their eastern neighbors and thus never gained the same tremendous influence on global affairs. Despite considerable cultural differences with the Rktakian Kwardniet, Kyanah in other parts of the world often see them as one and the same, something which neither the Rktakian Kwardniet nor the Western Sector are particularly amused by.
The Nyruietkot Riyentkin (literally Rising East) (region 6), with 33 major city-states. Located in a scorching yet not particularly arid part of the equatorial region, between several old and relatively broken down impact ranges, this region is actually one of the poorest despite its huge population. With an economy heavily centered on resource extraction and cash crops--despite attempts by some of the more well-to-do city-states to break into energy production and manufacturing--having large numbers of young is necessary to have enough helping hands for such demanding industries. Efforts by these city-states to modernize their economies have been hampered by ecological catastrophes, civil unrest caused by the large populations of said city-states, and the use of the region by both the Rktakian Kwardniet and the Far South and a proving ground for Globalist doctrine. Many refugees have fled the region and immigrated to the Meatbucket to the north.
The Middle South (region 7), with 17 major city-states. Rather obviously, it's located in between the Far South and the Near South (not a commonly used term, but typically referring to everything from the Dunelands south to the Shatter. It's easy to see why the Middle South is densely populated; large open plains with wind and precipitation from the westerlies (often carrying rich volcanic soil from the volcanic cluster at the west end of the region) have created a region almost as suitable for agriculture as the Meatbucket. Indeed, in the last few centuries before the Rktakian Kwardniet industrialized, the Middle South was the richest region on the planet, with massive trade hubs dealing in alcohol, hides, spices, and slaves from the northern hemisphere; gold, gems, meteoric iron, and exotic preserved meats from the Far South; and exporting their own textiles, printed books and paper, ceramics, and timber to everyone around them. Though naturally, many other goods were imported and exported over the centuries as well. However, the Middle South was relatively lightly affected by the Shadow, which proved to be a double-edged sword, as they didn't have the same pressure to industrialize and were rather late to the party. Coal would be discovered there in the industrial age, boosting its relevance again somewhat. Development remains mixed in modern times, with some city-states adopting high-tech economies and others sticking to agriculture or coal.
The Dunelands (region 8), with 0 major city-states (the largest is Orokun, with a population of just 8.6 million). However, as the Rktakian Kwardniet's immediate neighbors, they deserve a mention, especially as one pack in Road to Hope comes from the Dunelands. This region is located in a scorching hot and dry basin filled with extensive sand dunes, hence the name. It has a relatively low population-density overall, with most city states having lower middle income economies. The spent the pre-industrial era mostly locked in their own microcosm, with the Rktakian Kwardniet, as to their immediate south are the equally arid Ptekyen Highlands and the treacherous Shatter. They ultimately did not industrialize as quickly as the Rktakian Kwardniet, despite being right next door, which can mostly be attributed to political factors. The Dunelands were thus left in the dust by their northern neighbors and remain plagued by droughts, environmental destruction, and in many city-states, corruption, dictators, and civil unrest.

There's a random sulfur plume in the middle of the pacific off of southern Chile. I figured its an undersea volcano, and lo and behold there's a seamount close enough to the surface that it should be above water during high swells. Its not labeled on the map utilities I'm using. How can I figure out what its named?

I'm going to give my TLDR of the slapfights in the subreddit

• NixOS is an Open Source OS that many people volunteer their free time to build.
• Anduril makes autonomous AI drones to kill people using NixOS. They have also hired multiple community members to do so.

There's larger drama that spills outside of reddit on this but the TLDR is Anduril is sponsoring NixCon(an in person convention about NixOS) and people aren't too happy about it. A detailed explanation of the community drama can be found here if you care.
This culminated in one of the community members and Anduril employees receiving a temporary suspension to the project. The primary reason as I can surmise is because they were kind of a jerk about being against gendeminority representation in leadership.
Drama Thread 1
Employee of Anduril gets a temporary suspension from the NixOS Project, turns to the subreddit to say goodbye. https://www.reddit.com/NixOS/comments/1cd5fod/in_case_im_unable_to_return_wish_you_all_the_best/

Goodbye! You have made yourself difficult to be missed!

Thanks derpface!

No problem! Your username remind me of someone who is directly complicit in creating tools used in a genocide, and who actively concern trolls about minorities. Cannot think of his name for the life of me, though.

link

After some digging, it appears that the root of this is that nix maintainers are limiting the involvement of people who work for defense companies (read: weapons manufacturers). ...

Why would that be reasonable? Those people make weapons that keep you safe. You’d be the first in the corner in a puddle of piss and years of you were invaded because your country didn’t have proper “weapons” to protect you.

Those weapons killed my innocent family members, 2 young girls who never hurt a fly in a war that probably happened before you knew how to type.

link

Hope you slip and fall into an unassuming volcano, or something equally awful

Thanks

link

You did your best to prevent any constructive discussions and successfully failed to show any growth or sympathy.

Errmmmm ackshyually you are the one stifling constructive discussion good sir! Constructive discussion is when we never listen to minorities of any kind

link

To be fair you lost me when you called the need for minority representation "discrimination", again and again, like 10 times in the same thread. You failed to acknowledge the power dynamics at place, and how a "non political" stance just hurts us by default. And what's worse you just dismissed the need to hold a wider conversation on the basis of your own feelings about privilege and discrimination, while ignoring what people were telling you repeatedly 💀 Edit: See? That's why we just leave these spaces. Fuck the alt right and everyone who classifies ethnic and sexual minorities as "political", you ruin good spaces with your toxic waste of ideologies.

I'm an anarchist/libertarian "barefoot in the garden" ecology-loving homestead veteran hippie, with a decent sized LGBTQ+ friend group since I live near Seattle. They are good people if it weren't for the fact that most of them are lawyers.

link
Drama Thread 2: Clarification on why guy from thread 1 was suspended. https://www.reddit.com/NixOS/comments/1ceeg8h/transparency_about_jonringers_suspension/

Disgusting. Labeling a man based on an idea that would've been logical pre 2020. So much hearsay and putting words into his mouth. DEI needs to go away, as it is a plague of exclusion and oppression Olympics. It has no place in a free society. It has no place in open source. It's cultural shift with good intentions but naviagted terribly. Nix, this is just wrong and your hearing the man but not listening.

link

Is this about the project excluding defense companies? If so that doesn’t make sense to me. Open source should just be tools and allow anyone to contribute.

It's about control over Nix, and the defense sponsor was just the issue being seized upon.

link

If you label me as a "racist fascist bigot", then anything I say is malicious.

You've been posting like this a lot over the last couple days. This attitude indicates to me that you are not actually planning on changing anything about your behavior, and you don't actually take any criticism levied against you seriously. You simply frame it as a ridiculous caricature that can be discarded and ignored. So the whole "I take full responsibility" thing rings fairly hollow.

Who the fuck cares? Stop trying to wrangle out some kind of twisted confession. We have churches and preachers to do that. He's a volunteer... He doesn't owe you Anything.When are you going to stop being obnoxious.

link
Drama Thread 3
Multiple community members quit the project. Some because of the AI Drone strike thing, some because Guy from thread 1 got banned.
https://www.reddit.com/NixOS/comments/1ceqprq/fifteen_contributors_have_officially_removed/

I for one support LGBTQ inclusion in autonomous murder drone manufacturing. It’ll fix both issues.

link

That's great, I don't disagree in principle. But what are we going to do about all the people leaving over this, though? A significant maintainer just left over the Anduril sponsorship fiasco, and over a dozen others have followed him. I think this deserves some airtime and discussion.

thats great, but what are we going to do when the unchecked mod team banned everyone that contributes and doesnt share their opinion? They clearly shift the allowed debate in their favor. This allows them to shape this project after their own liking. this deserves some discussion, but the mod blatantly flag or ban every critic they see. there is no healthy or solution oriented debate to be had under those conditions.

link

The thought of any of my work contributing to someone's death by drone makes me feel physically ill. This can be said about almost any open-source contribution. In fact, it can be said if you pay taxes in almost any well-developed nation (that uses drones to defend itself). A $10k per year sponsorship is pocket change. But heck, you can even think that's $10k they have less to spend on drone parts.

link

Why not try to be apolitical? For example here "used for horrific things" "People have morals"
"horrific things" arent absolutist? you are saying horrific People with morals means, that their side side is the good one that isnt absolutist? 2) If you take money from everyone, how not take it from one company could be political? Or at least less than not take it? 3) I would agree that isnt good argument, but not absolutist. You can still be against it, protest against, work against it etc. If he said for example "In fact, it can be said if you pay taxes in almost any well-developed nation (that uses drones to defend itself), so why try?" I would agree with you.

link

Remember the human
Abide by community rules
Respect the privacy of others
Don't impersonate other people or entities
Properly label the Not Safe For Working (NSFW) content
Keep it legal
Don't break Reddit (a lot of us really like it here)
@Volcano Squad

I fucken did it again.
​
So, Snoot game.
A Colosal shitpost of a game, released by a group of Anons from 4chan known only as “Cavemanon Studio”. They came together to crate a parody of “Goodbye Volcano High”, which funnily enough was released almost a year after Snoot Game. And although the developers have labelled the game as “an anti-fan game, not made in good faith.” Does that make Snoot game bad? Is it terrible?
Well, it depends what you were expecting going in. If you were expecting a shit post, then yeh, that is what it is. One massive shit post straight from the bowls of the internet based on assumptions about a game that was not fully released. It was, and is, a meme of epic proportions. Beyond that, however, the game does have substance to it. It has characters, stories, all the trappings of what can make a good story. And while I have my reservations on how they executed it, the developers did genuinely care. It was quite clearly a first stab at making something for people to enjoy. Inspite of this, they have gone out of there way to update the game several times, as opposed to leaving it as a bug filled mess (IM LOOKING AT YOU BETHESDA, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!) worked on music, character background, and many many pieces of art. All to tell the story of Anon and Fang.
It stars Anon (Ok, from the get go, this was clearly a self insertion fanfic, but lets be nice about it, m'kay?). Moving away from his old school due to massive social phopas, he is here after choosing the lesser of two evils form his father. Content with flying under the radar, he makes his way in as quietly as he can, before fate slaps him in the face with the massive “ding dong” of plot development” meeting an entire range of characters from Naser, Trish, Reed, and Naomi (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) who does everything in her power to get him closer to Fang. Now, Fang is an interesting one. She is the a-typical edgy teen who jut want to know who she is. But she has allot more going on. Allot more that she is trying to unpack that is the driving force behind all this facade of a person. And with the help f anon she realizes how to stand on her own to feet, and become the Capitan of her own ship. Anon, through helping her, and her friends, finds some personal growth too. Coming into volcano high, he was a racist, judgemental ass hat of a human being. But as he steps out of his shell, he learns that judging people before you get to know them is not the best move. By just being present, and turning into a beacon of healing for those suffering with their own issues, he starts to understand that dinosaurs are like onions. Everyone has layers and layers of things that make up who they are. And once you take the time to look a little deeper, past the facade people put on, you begin to see people for who they truly are. Sometimes that can mean seeing something bad, but on those rare few occasions, like with fang, you get to see and experience something beautiful.
So, now that you know a little more about what the game is, will you give it a go? Will you give it the time of day? Will you look deeper into the onion, and go on an adventure into a kaleidoscope of memes and story telling?
I would. The game is free, and it costs you nothing but time. While it may not be Cavemanon's best work, Its still and experience worth having. I personally stayed up all night playing it after work just to have a look see, and I'm impressed. Cavemanon did something good all things considered. And given their work on both this, and “I wani hug that gator” I can only hope to see nothing but good things from them in the future.
As always, my name is Poptart, thanks for reading!

Hey CRT!
Just got back from a 22 day trip to CR in the month of April and I'd love to share my experience with everyone.
I traveled to San Jose, Manuel Antonio, Monteverde and Puerto Viejo
Couple things upfront:

• Took a backpack only, I would recommend to pack light and to avoid bringing a lot of luggage
• In terms of money I brought USD and my Visa, was fine the entire trip - If you're going to bring USD bring small bills, the majority of places I went to did not accept 50 and 100 dollar bills
• Travel insurance is a must, I didn't use it but I found myself in situations where bad things could easily happen lol just get it!
• My budget was 50 dollars a day spending money, I put aside some money for pre booked excursions/shuttles, some days I went over, some days I went under but I found this worked for me - Most days I would buy a pastry/coffee/yogurt for breakfast at a grocery store, hit up sodas for lunch and then do dinner
• I'm vegetarian and found it very easy to find friendly places to eat
• Bring a reusable water bottle
• I used an ESIM through the Airlo App, used the Discover ESIM and had no problems with the install/use during my trip, WIFI was also very accesible most places so I didn't run out of data.
• Use WhatsApp, everyone uses WhatsApp and it was an excellent tool
• Mode of transport was Bikes, Ubers, Shuttles and Private Transfers

SAN JOSE
Flew into SJO, the airport is pretty small and pretty easy to navigate. I booked a shuttle through the hostel where I was staying. Looking back I should have taken an Uber because I arrived late and there wasn't traffic but I didn't know exactly how Uber would operate in SJ or at the airport so I decided to be safe and go with the shuttle which I booked in advance.
I stayed at the Selina property in San Jose, check in was great and my room was decent. If you're looking for a hostel with a communal kitchen, co work space and activities this is a pretty safe bet. I found this property is a good one to get your feet wet if you don't backpack a whole lot or solo travel, everyone is really chill and helpful. The location was pretty sweet, it's not right in the hustle and bustle of SJ but it's certainly walkable, I walked everywhere.
The bad: it's a noisy location. From the street noise, the noise from the kitchen and birds starting to chirp at 3/4AM in the morning... my room was also under a staircase so I literally heard every footstep and every bag of luggage going up and down that thing... I had to switch rooms but I was moved to another area of the building where it was closer to the street, so I traded one problem for another.
I would stay here again only if the price was right, I found a great deal through hostel world and would probably book again if I was quoted a similar price.
Not going to sugar coat it, I didn't love San Jose but I'm glad I stopped there for a couple days. I checked out the National Theatre of Costa rica, the tour was pretty cool and I would have checked out a show there if there was one on. I also went to the National Museum of Costa Rica, it has a butterfly garden as well so that was a nice surprise to explore. Also got to explore the local markets and town, I highly recommend stocking up on sunscreen, bug spray, whatever before you venture off into beach towns/more secluded areas of the country as the prices will be much higher for items there.
The best meal I had was at this place called Tin Jo which was asian fusion - highly recommend checking it out but I wasn't blown away but many meals that I had in San Jose.
For bars, I checked out this really cool speakeasy called Buchon, little pricey but really good cocktails. It may not be for everyone but I went to this metal bar called Butts, it's a bit of a dive but it had people there every night and everyone I met there was really cool.
Glad I stopped in SJ but I wouldn't spend more than 2 days here.
MANUEL ANTONIO
I booked a shuttle from Selina San Jose to take me to Selina Manuel Antonio, they used a shuttled service called Interbus. I highly recommend Interbus, they have AC/WIfi and used them a few times during the trip. Book with them directly through WhatsApp, I managed to save a few dollars because I was using them so much and managed to haggle a few bucks off each ride here and there.
Landed at the Manuel Antonio Selina, this property felt more like a resort than a hostel. If you're looking for a hostel vibe this isn't the place but if you're looking at a resort with 3 pools and a bit more of an upscale feeling, then go for it. They had DJ's in town the weekend I was there so it was rather noisy at night but I was told that it wasn't really the norm. Although it's far from the beach, you're uphill in a good area with walkable restaurants and an excellent view for sunsets/sunrises. You can take a public bus, taxi, rent a scooter or walk down to the beach area - I would not recommend walking back up hill - I did that once and it nearly killed me lol
I had to do laundry service at the Selina and it broke the bank, the only laundry available was the next town over and it wasn't feasible for me to get over to do laundry and then come back to grab it. I decided to have the laundry service done during one of my excursion so at least the timing worked but it still sucked.
I highly recommend checking out the Nauyaca Waterfall, it's stunning. I booked a waterfall excursion with Paddle9 and got to swim/have a full day with the tour group, it was pretty fun.
Fun tip: I booked a good chunk of excursions/experiences through Airbnb, they charged in my own currency and sometimes it worked out cheaper than what was being advertised locally or in USD. I found the tours booked through any property I stayed at were easily 20-50 dollars more expensive, so do some digging and find them locally. A decent amount of tours I asked if I can pay cash and I usually saved some money by doing so in person or asking for "last minute deals".
Checking out Manuel Antonio Park is a must, I highly recommend booking with a guide as they really add to the experience. They know where these creatures nest, they know what to look for, they work with other guides to find wildlife, it was great. Manuel Antonio Park has two beaches that are great for swimming, both with calm water and a decent amount of sand to stretch out on. It's the best swimming in Manuel Antonio, when you go on a tour make sure you pack your beach gear. There are loads of beach monkeys trying to steal your stuff, so keep a watchful eye on your belongings.
I booked with Costa Rica Wáköö Tours and would book with them again in the future.
The public beach is decent place to visit but I found the water wasn't super suited for swimming, surfers may love it but the rip current was pretty strong. There's a school bus food truck down there called En Todas that was really good, would definitely check that out.
Again, best swimming is in MA park but you need to pay to get in.
Decent amount of restaurants are tourist traps and not very good, most are overpriced and underwhelming but I'll highlight a few that I enjoyed:
Emilios cafe was great for coffee/breakfast/lunch. I would recommend going during the day and take in the view, it's fantastic.
As for sunsets, Le Papillon is the best place to go, I went for cocktails/snacks for the sunset and it was really magical.
My favourite place to eat in MA was The Falafel Bar, ate here twice and it was the best bang for your buck.
Really glad I stopped in Manuel Antonio but I was meeting people who had a week booked and they were bored after 2 days, most just stayed at the hostel and swam because there wasn't more to do.
MONTEVERDE
Had another Interbus shuttle booked from the Selina in MA to the Selina in Monteverde.
Monteverde was a huge change of pace from MA, it's much cooler and a bit more laid back. It's also really windy/cloudy and can rain, so make sure you pack a couple of sweaters or rain jacket.
The Selina in Monteverde felt more like a ski lodge, it's a gorgeous location and very close to the Monteverde Cloud Forest National Park but very far from everywhere else. If you drive or take public transit/taxis, I recommend it highly but there's no amenities around the hostel.
I booked here mainly to be close to the Cloud Forest and wanted to spot a Quetzal, it was sort of a bucket list thing for me to see one and if it meant going to the park multiple times to spot one I wanted to stay pretty close to it - but that's just me.
If you're looking to go to the Cloud Forest, book a tour in the morning and I would spend the extra money to have a private guide. I booked with a larger tour and half the people didn't get a chance to look through the telescope to see what was spotted because it would fly away or move. Little selfish but I started to stand right next to the guide through the tour when I noticed the large groups were missing wildlife, to be fair I made sure to glance 2-3 seconds through the scope and then move aside for others but after 3/4 people the animal/bird would fly away. I realized this is what I had to do or my own money would have been wasted.
I managed to spot a Quetzal 3 times which was a pretty special thing, I was also relieved that I didn't have to pay the park admission price/book another guide $$$
There's a hanging bridge in the Cloud Forest but was pretty busy so if you're looking for that iconic IG shot of you alone on a suspended bridge it wasn't really the place for that. Ironically, it was a sunny day and not too cloudy, which worked in my favour because I got to see one of the Quetzals I spotted fly around.
Selvatura Adventure is labeled as a adrenaline destination for zip lining but it's an amazing spot for multiple suspended bridges and a sloth sanctuary. I booked with them directly and got a free shuttle service which was a huge bonus as it's a little far away.
They have loads of suspended bridges with hardly anyone on them because everyone is going zip lining, managed to experience that "in the cloud" feeling and got some great photos.
I have mixed feeling on the sloth sanctuary to be honest because it was an up close and personal experience, which is something you sort of dream about but the sloths were kept in an enclosure which made me feel a little sad. To the credit of the sanctuary, they were all rescues and can't be released to the wild but I found other sanctuaries in CR have more of a focus on release and keeping the sloths in outdoor enclosures. Just some food for thought.
The town of Monteverde is really chill and has a few local places to check out, I really enjoyed going to the local bar Amigos and having coffee at the Orchard Cafe.
Although it wasn't as action packed, I went on a night tour with Roys Monteverde Nature Guides. I had a blast going through the forest at night spotting creatures. Looking back, I would have booked a few tours with them if I discovered them sooner.
One thing to note, most tours require a minimum of two people so ask them in advanced when they have tours to join or be prepared to pay a little extra for a private tour.
The most unique thing I did in Monteverde was to watch the sunset at Las Piedras. I took a taxi up to this guys property who lets you watch the sunset from his land for the low price of 2 dollars. It's INCREDIBLY windy but you get an amazing view of the mountains. Bring a drink, try not to get blown over and enjoy the best view in Monteverde.
La Fortuna
Left my ski chalet in Monteverde and took a "Jeep/Boat/Jeep" trip La Fortuna, would highly recommend taking this trip if you're traveling between the two places. The ride is unqiue and the views are fantastic.
Got dropped off at Poshtel in La Fortuna.
The location is RIGHT in the middle of La Fortuna and the hostel is much cheaper than the Selina properties, the price and the location were a huge selling point for me. The staff were very friendly and gave me great suggestions/helped me navigate the public bus system, which I'm super thankful for.
That said, the property needs a little bit of work and there are just things you have to deal with such as paper thin walls and inconsistent water pressure/temperature. Not the end of the world but certainly something mention.
La Fortuna was one of favourite places to visit, it has so much going on and felt more like a backpackers haven than just a tourist stop.
Jungle Tours offered a 4 in 1 day tour of The Arenal Waterfall, Arenal Hanging Bridge, Arenal Volcano and Public Hot Springs. I was a little hesitant to book at first because I wanted to space these places out throughout the trip but the price point was fantastic and the group I went with was super fun. To do all this independently would cost you a lot of money and the guides were really informative throughout the whole process. It also didn't feel rushed, you spent the right amount of time at each location.
I also checked out Proyecto Asis which was a rescue sanctuary, would highly recommend visiting. Birds, Monkeys, Sloths, they have everything. I booked the tour but also got to volunteer by prepping a meal and helping during the animal feeding time. Carlos was our guide and he was very passionate about animal welfare and I found the whole thing super educational.
The Santo Rope Swing is a public hot spring/swimming hole about a 25 min walk from town, definitely work checking out if you're looking to swim and chill out - it's free!
Vita Cafe was my favourite place to get coffee in La Fortuna, little hole in the wall joint but the place was spot on every time.
Pizza Ranch was my favourite place to eat and I'm not trolling. They made an amazing margarita calzones at an unbelievable price - I went here as a joke originally - but it ended up being a staple for me.
Special shoutout to Lavanderia El Almendro, it's family run laundry service who do same day turn around at a really good price - I cannot recommend them enough. Bring cash and google translate, you're golden.
I treated myself to one day of luxury on my trip by spending a day at a paid hot springs and one night at a 5 star resort.
Ecotermales has a great setup at somewhat affordable price when compared to other paid hot springs. You book in advanced and you pick a morning/day or afternoon/evening time slots. I found this hot spring not to crowded and had multiple pools to choose from, about half the time I was in a pool on my own which was really nice and relaxing They also serve food and drinks but they were rather expensive so I brought water and snacks. Some places offer full days or multiple day trips, I spent a total of 4 hours going into the springs/sun tanning and that was enough for me.
For the night I booked a stay Nayara Gardens, it's toted as the best hotel in Central America. It's as advertised and really expensive. I booked a room mid week during a online sale so I saved a TON of money but wouldn't book here full price, it's just so much god damn money.
I booked a private car from La Fortuna to my next stop Puerto Viejo, I was going to take a shuttle but I would have had to get a cab into town and take a shared transfer at 630AM so I decided to spend a little but more and take a car service.
Highly recommend Charlie Shuttle tour CR, they service all over CR and they quoted me a really good rate and I got to Puerto Viejo in a speedy and safe fashion.
Puerto Viejo
My favourite stop, Puerto Viejo.
Landed at Playa 506 beachfront hostel, which was one of my favourite stay of my trip. Literally, right on the beach with great amenities and met lots of good people.
Not exactly IN Puerto Viejo proper but it's a fantastic location. Rent a bike or Scooter, it's the best way to get around. I ended up doing a lot of walking/exploring but biking around was such a highlight for me and I felt safe doing so.
I could easily spend weeks/a full month here.
Jaguar Rescue Centre was really cool to check out for a couple hours, did a tour with them and saw so many animals and learned a lot about the good work their doing.
The main beaches in Puerto Viejo are worth checking out but the swimming is a little rough due to the rip current, so just be mindful. That said, the best swimming of my trip happened at Puerto Viejo and here's where they are:
Playa Chiquita, Uva Beach and the Cahuita National Park.
Playa Chiquita/Uva Beach is out of town but worth traveling to, you can bike/walk/transit/tuk tuk or taxi to both of these places. I recommend bringing drinks, snacks and just spending the day in the water.
Chauita National Park also has a couple great swimming spots, much like Manuel Antonio I booked a guided tour in the morning and then spent the afternoon swimming/exploring the park. I booked a tour of the park with Green Chauita, our guide was Tito and he was fantastic, 100% book with Tito if you plan to go.
That said, the main beaches are worth going to just to take in the views and hang out - you'll find everything under the sun at these beaches from fire spinners, tight line walkers, volleyball, etc. It's a great place to meet people and hang out.
Food was also really good this stretch of the trip, I'll list my favourite spots because I could go on and on, (I already have).
Tamara, Grow, Bread What What, Sol De Caribe, Beach Break Bar and La Nena were all top notch but overall you can't go wrong with most places in town just try to avoid the fancy ones that offer beachfront dining as they can get really expensive.
Back to San Jose
I took another Interbus shuttle back to San Jose for my last night and decided to stay at the Country Inn by the airport. Speaking frankly, I just wanted to stay close to the airport for my last night and wanted to book a hotel that offers a free shuttle. Make sure to book the shuttle in advance, they tried to charge me $20 for the shuttle but I had written confirmation that it was free and just had to show them the email - just confirm in advance.
The one thing worth mentioning is that I did the Starbucks Coffee Farm Tour. I was looking to do this tour at the start of my trip but it's rather far from the city of San Jose but conveniently closer to the airport, so I decided to tag this on to the tail end of my trip and saved some money in transit.
Really cool coffee tour and there's a great look off to enjoy, was nice to reflect over the trip and sip on a pretty decent cup of joe.
Took an Uber to and from the farm, was pretty affordable.... got stuck in rushhour traffic on the way back but other than that it was okay.
After the trip, I went to a little food complex next to my hotel called Fresh Market Ulloa, (I think?) for my last meal of the trip.
Went to bed and then woke up at an ungodly hour for my flight back home.
.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading.
I would definitely visit Costa Rica again and would recommend visiting to others who are looking for a little escape, however you define it.
The most fun I've had on the trip were the little things... the people, the beaches, the swimming holes, the local sodas the paying 2 dollars to sit on some guys land to watch a sunset... my only advice is to seek those moments out whenever you can as those will be the ones that stay with you.
Pura vida

Originally posted on the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction Vol 132, No 3 & 4, March-April 2017.
Retrieved from the Internet Archive
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The Man Who Put the Bomp
By Richard Chwedy
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F&SF readers first met the "saurs"—genetically engineered companions who look like tiny dinosaurs—in "The Measure of All Things," which appeared in our January 2001 issue. Like many other pets, the saurs sometimes ended up neglected or abandoned, but there was a house where rescued saurs could be safe...and get into new kinds of trouble. The saurs have appeared three more times, in "Bronte's Egg" (August 2002), "In Tibor's Cardboard Castle" (Oct/Nov 2004), and "Orfy" (Sept/Oct 2010), with "Bronte's Egg" winning the Nebula Award.
But you don't have to be familiar with any of those stories to enjoy this new novella. As you'll soon find out, the saurs are always ready to make new friends.
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THERE WAS A MAN NAMED Nicholas Danner who had worked thirty-three years as a Sequencer for Toyco, and nobody knew why. Not that it was a subject of debate or speculation around the office, but every now and then some recent hire would glance over at Danner's crowded workstation and ask one of the more seasoned staffers, "Hey, what's up with the old guy?"
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"Him?" The reply was always the same. "That's Danner. He's been here forever."
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The inevitable follow-up question: "Why?"
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Nobody had an answer for that one. Not even Nicholas Danner.
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Not until the day he went to see the saurs.
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The day Danner went to see the saurs, Axel made a discovery.
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It had been two weeks since his buddy, Diogenes, was laid to rest beside the red rocket crape myrtles, just visible near the library window. Axel, the marine-blue theropod saur small enough to fit into a big shoebox if you tucked in his tail (which wouldn't be easy), stood in a central spot in the house's former dining room. He announced, in his loudest voice, to one and all:
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"I'm getting smarter!"
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For a moment, the house was never more silent.
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In the next moment, a few of the little ones, the pocket-sized saurs, chuckled. Others applauded by thumping their tails against the floor. Some cheered, as if Axel had just won a round of Not So Hard.
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Agnes, the gray stegosaur, took a few steps from her habitual lair under the lamp table near the window, far enough to guarantee her voice would ring out through the house.
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"Prove it!"
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The silence returned, the one exception being Alphonse's little radio, tuned to the ImpacNewzRadio Morning Rush Hour Wrap-Up. Ross, the corythosaur, was listening with worshipful devotion to Abby Riley, the traffic reporter, and would not surrender his attention a second time—at least not for Agnes.
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Axel shouted back, "I can feel it in my head! Something's moving around!"
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Agnes, irrefutable (and unencumbered by her mate, Sluggo, and their eggling, Leslie, who were engaged elsewhere in the house), gave Axel a careful inspection. "Your head looks the same from here!"
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Axel rocked back and forth. "It feels different!"
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"'Different' doesn't mean 'smarter.' You need to go lie down for a while."
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Axel looked in every direction at once. "I don't know how!"
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"Hah!" Agnes thumped her tail against the floor. "Figure it out, if you're so smart." She returned to her spot under the table.
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"Figure it out!" Axel looked left and right, as if the answer was hidden in the roomscape.
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Doc, the beige tyrannosaur with heavy-lidded eyes and a tricky left leg, had been observing all this from the plastic cube where he customarily sat, near Alphonse and Ross. He nodded serenely to Axel. "My friend, I don't know if you're smarter today than yesterday, but I trust and honor your feelings."
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Alphonse looked back at Doc and whispered, "You really shouldn't encourage him."
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Ross, annoyed, pointed to the radio with the parsnip he was holding in his right forepaw. "Listenin'!"
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Doc's grin shifted slightly. "We are both investors." They were. Under assumed names at various brokerages, they had managed to assemble a considerable "nest egg," so to speak. "But I try, in my way, to support more tangible remunerations."
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Alphonse came around to a full turn. "You would say that, considering you lost a bundle on that Toyco deal not so long ago."
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Doc bowed his head in a gesture of respectful submission. "I maintain my position."
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"All I can say is that the SANI Corporation must really want something Toyco has."
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The traffic report ended.
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"Bye, Abby!" Ross took a nibble of his parsnip as he headed for the living-room window to look out at whatever was there to look out at until Abby returned to the air in the afternoon. As he left the former dining room, he caught a glimpse of a saffron-colored sauropod in a little green hat approaching from the living room. Ross told Doc and Alphonse, "Tibor coming. Can hear him not making noise."
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Tibor, small enough to fit in a human hand, always wore an intense scowl, like a Puritan judge or a cartoon nemesis. Along with his volcano-shaped hat, Tibor had donned a powder-blue ribbon; he was on "official" Tiborean business.
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He was following Axel, who had run up to Doc, shouting, "Doc! Doc! Did I tell you about the dream I had last night?" He pulsed with energy, shifting his weight from leg to leg.
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Doc smiled and shook his head. "You'll tell me now, no doubt."
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"I was in a big station! Like a train station. It was tall, like it had no ceiling, with big steel girders, all blue, way above, and windows as big as this whole house!"
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"Tibor is here!" Tibor announced himself, expecting universal recognition but receiving none.
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"A transportation center," said Doc. "In some great city."
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"Humans were everywhere, hundreds and hundreds of them! They were walking around because there were all sorts of places to buy stuff and food carts everywhere! I could smell caramel corn! So much stuff happening! I wanted to see...hear... everything!"
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"Here is Tibor!" Tibor tried again, in his soft, insistent voice, but to the same lack of effect.
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Doc listened patiently to Axel. "You weren't afraid? Humans are not very careful about looking at who might be underfoot."
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"A human was carrying me. I was in his arm , sort of like when Tom carries me. But it wasn't Tom. In the dream I knew who he was. Now I don't. Why is that?"
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"Dreams don't speak to us," said Doc. "They whisper." He hoped Axel might take the hint.
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"Behold Tibor!" Tibor whispered, but no one beheld him.
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"It was a good thing," Axel continued, his voice somewhat lowered. "I was looking at everything, but the humans didn't look at anything!"
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Doc nodded again. "Humans have a genius for ignoring the beauty of the world, and its dangers."
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"Tibor, universe-maker! Tibor the Benevolent! Field Marshal Tibor! Tiborius Doctor Honorus Tibor! Maharishi Mahesh Tibor!"
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"When I woke up, I wanted something! I wanted it real bad! But I didn't know what!"
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"Some common sense!" Agnes called out from under the table.
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"Tibor! Tibor! Tibor! Tibor!"
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"It was... everything! To see for real! Not just a dream!"
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"Someday you shall." Doc leaned forward and patted Axel on the head. "Someday you shall."
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"You're an idiot!" Agnes shouted. "You were out there—that's why you're here!"
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She was far away, looking out from under the table, but she could see, if only in her mind's eye, the scar that ran all the way down Axel's back, long-healed but very deep. "When they found you, you were almost dead!"
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Axel raised his head as if he was listening for something else, a tiny, insistent voice, maybe. "I'll be careful! I want to see it! I want to know what's there!"
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"It is time," said Tibor.
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Agnes roared, "You don't get it! This is your world. Look around. This is it! Take it or leave it!"
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Axel shook his head as if his ears had filled with bees. The move left him staring straight at Tibor. "What did you say?"
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"Tibor says it is time."
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"Time for what?"
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Tibor, with a turret-like motion of his head, directed Axel's attention to the living room, where a small, pink vehicle stood, wooden wedges secured against each tire.
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"It is time," said Tibor, "for VOOM!"
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VOOM! WAS A CAR, a convertible, about a meter and a half long, seventy centimeters wide, and fifty centimeters tall. It was built for child-sized people, which is to say it was a toy, a very expensive one. It had a windshield—all the appropriate windows, in fact. It also had a steering wheel, accelerator pedal, brakes, a driver's seat, and a dashboard with control buttons. Some of them worked.
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The most important button interfaced with a system that projected moving street-level images on all the windows corresponding with a real car in real motion. The images came from a long-defunct map program called, simply enough, Mappo™, taken from every road on the planet. "See the world! Mappo™'s been there!" was the long-forgotten slogan in the long-forgotten race to document every square centimeter of the known universe, so that everyone could see everything without going anywhere.
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It was pink, the kind of pink that startles you when you first see it—in a good way or a bad way; often it was hard to tell which.
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On each rear fender was printed, in bright, bold, lemon-yellow capital letters italicized to accentuate the sensation of speed, the word "VOOM! "—exclamation point included.
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VOOM!
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Tibor had been led to its discovery a week before by a mysterious series of notes written on slips of yellow paper left on the floor of the attic, specifically that part of the attic not reserved for the saurs' "museum."
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It was upon a review of this domain that he noticed the slips of paper, each positioned in such a way that Tibor could see the next note from the preceding one. No dim-witted slave to a belief in serendipity, Tibor understood these notes had been placed deliberately to capture his attention.
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He looked down at the first one. In small, neat, intense block letters were the words, "FOR TIBOR."
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"Quid pro quo!" said Tibor, who could not remember what the Latin phrase meant but believed it was appropriate.
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He trotted over to the next slip of paper.
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It read: "BECAUSE."
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"Quid est disputandum!"
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It wasn't the phrase Tibor wanted, but sounded something like it. He'd heard it on a video once, spoken by an austere and regal-looking figure in a judge's robe. It sounded "Tiborean."
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The next slip of paper read, "TIBOR."
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"Nili est nelly nell!"—or something like that.
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And the next note: "IS."
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Tibor had exhausted his Latin exclamations by now and fell back upon, "The game is afoot!"—even though he knew no more what this phrase meant than he did any of his mutant Latin.
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The last note was firmly punctuated with an exclamation point: "STUPID!"
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Tibor pondered the last note carefully. Obviously it was written in some sort of code.
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He looked up and found himself within a canyon of crates, cases, and boxes. He had barely dismissed the notion that he had been drawn into an ambush when he saw it:
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VOOM!
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No doubt, thought Tibor, a gift from all the beings of all the Tiborean worlds, for his wise, benevolent leadership. VOOM! would be his official, royal means of conveyance.
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But Tibor was too small, obviously, to control this vehicle himself. He would need a driver, a chauffeur.
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He hurried back downstairs, in search of Axel.
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Nicholas Danner heard something as he drove down the narrow two-lane road that led to the little turnoff in the woods, the one that would take him to the house where the saurs lived. Heard—maybe only in memory. Something was in the air, something the other passenger in the car could not hear. It quickened his heart, filled him with anticipation and yearning. He stepped a little harder on the accelerator.
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No word for it, what he felt, other than what it was. He spoke it aloud as he turned off the Tarmac onto the gravel road.
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"VOOM!"
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"What's that?" Christine Haig, the young woman sitting next to him, glanced from the passenger-door window to Danner. Whatever Danner heard, it wasn't in her range. She felt only a slight apprehension and disapprobation at wasting a perfectly good morning.
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"Don't remember 'VOOM!'?" Danner slowed only because the gravel road was a little rough for his experience, and for his aging, not-so-smart vehicle. He kept his eye out for the check-in box. Visitors who missed the check-in box risked having their batteries drained. "Didn't have one as a kid?"
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"I didn't have many toys." Christine shifted her attention back to the passenger window. "I mean, I had lots of toys, but I didn't play with them. Adoptive parents always shower you with toys."
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"Never told me you were adopted." Danner slowed a little more. The road looked narrower, but it was only that the trees stood closer.
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"It's not important to me. You know how some kids want to know who their real parents are? I don't. It's not a big thing."
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"And you didn't care for toys."
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She laughed. "Or clothes. My mom took me to a fancy store and bought me a whole wardrobe, like I'd come from the orphanage in rags. All I wanted was a chemistry set."
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"They get it for you?"
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"I had to fight, but I got it. Happiest moment of my life."
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Danner slowed his vehicle to a halt next to a green pole about two and a half meters tall. Attached to the pole, halfway up, was a steel-colored box no bigger than a shirt pocket. From the box came a smooth, modulated, slightly androgynous voice.
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"Good morning."
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"Good morning." He spoke to the box as if he were ordering at a fast-food drive-through. "Nicholas Danner and Christine Haig. This visit was authorized by Susan Leahy herself."
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"Understood. If Miss Haig would speak her name aloud for voice identification, you may continue."
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Danner leaned over and muttered to Christine, "Sounds like an old ReggiesystemTM one-point-four. Remember those?"
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"From history class!" she whispered. Then, louder, "Christine Haig."
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"Thank you. You may proceed with your visit."
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"Thank you, Reggie." Danner moved his vehicle forward.
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"You're welcome, Mr. Danner."
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"He didn't contradict me," Danner said. "I'll bet it is an original Reggie."
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"What I was told—" Christine pointed at the check-in box "—Reggie was a singular entity. It was outlawed, then deleted."
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"And Joe Hill was killed by the firing squad. And Jesus died on the cross."
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She laughed. "Only you'd mention Joe Hill before Jesus."
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"Everyone's permitted their priorities. That you even know who Joe Hill is speaks to something odd about you."
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Danner liked to hear her laugh. He rarely heard genuine laughter from a colleague. If he did, it was usually forced, like the laughter of someone who had learned how from a webinar. She was smart. And expressed feelings—real feelings. All good signs. Maybe he could help her with a thing or two. Even smart kids need help sometimes.
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He would never have brought her otherwise.
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Ahead, the woods cleared and the little road ran through a hectare or so of lawn. Further on, the landscaping was more elaborate, with trees and shrubbery and flower beds.
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At the center of it all stood the house: a huge neo-Victorian with a big porch; a number of gabled and bayed windows; and a steeply angled, shingled roof. When Danner saw it, his heart jumped hard.
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It wasn't the architecture. It wasn't the place itself. What mattered to him as he parked at the end of the gravel driveway was what—more precisely who—was within.
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Christine exited from her side and Danner from his. She looked at the house and said, "Ugly old place."
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In the big window, at the far-left end of the porch, a green corythosaur, no taller than forty centimeters, was holding a half-eaten parsnip. Next to him, about a head shorter, stood a deep-blue theropod.
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Danner couldn't help but wave to them.
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The corythosaur and the theropod waved back.
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"You don't have to do that." Christine's first step from the vehicle was uncertain. She wore high heels like someone who had never worn them before, and certainly not on a gravel driveway. "They're just toys."
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Danner walked to the porch slowly enough not to leave Christine, who was still adjusting to her heels, behind.
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"You work for a toy company. You need to learn to play."
​
She pretended not to hear.
​
​
THE WEEK BEFORE, when Tibor first revealed VOOM!, Axel had stared at the car in awe. That such things could exist not only proved there was magic in the universe, but that the universe was magic. He lobbied for the vehicle to be brought downstairs and a place of honor found for it in the living room.
​
A group—a sort of ad hoc committee—went up to the attic. Agnes, of course; Sluggo and Leslie; Doc, Alphonse, and Ross; the sauropods Kara and Bronte, and Bronte's eggling, Guinevere; Preston, the green tyrannosaur who wrote novels under the name of Ellis Lawrence Cartwright; the triceratops couple, Charlie and Rosie; and about a dozen others, more curious than concerned.
​
Tom Groverton, the human who took care of the saurs, was also with them, but he said nothing and stayed in the background. If he was needed, he was there.
​
"It is pink!" Agnes said, as if "pink" were a synonym of "evil."
​
"It is VOOM!" Axel said, as if "VOOM!" were a synonym of "good."
​
"It is Tibor's!" said Tibor.
​
There are no synonyms for "Tibor."
​
There was no denying the mystery of its appearance. No one could remember when VOOM! came, or where it came from. If it had been unloaded from a box or a crate, who unloaded it? If it had only just arrived, who brought it up to the attic, and why? If it had been up in the attic for ages, why had nobody seen it until now? A vehicle, even one built for a child, and of such a color and shape—surely such a thing could not be forgotten or ignored (much as one might try).
​
Objects did not just come from nowhere, and yet no one knew the origin of VOOM!
​
"These abominations were used by humans to teach their children how to run over animals and smash into them on dark roads." Agnes stared at the vehicle, tail raised, as if expecting she might have to defend herself from it. "They are weapons of aggression! They are training tools for the exercise of primal desires to enslave and dominate. Throw this thing off the roof and burn the wreckage! Then burn what's left of the burned wreckage! Get rid of it, before it destroys us all! It is a death machine!"
​
"It is not a death machine!" Axel waved his tiny forelimbs up and down. "It is VOOM! and it is good!"
​
"Tibor's VOOM!" said Tibor.
​
"It is big," said Kara, the rust-colored sauropod, from the other side of the vehicle. "Where would it fit?"
​
"How would we get it down?" Bronte, the green sauropod, stood at the back and peered around the rear bumper.
​
"Don't!" Agnes shook her head. "Don't even think about it!"
​
Axel ran over to Bronte. "Tom will help us! Dr. Margaret will help us!"
​
"What's this 'us'?" Agnes lowered her tail and curled it around laterally.
​
"Hubert can help! He's big! And Big Sam! And David Norman!"
​
"You're going to turn the big guys into beasts of burden? Treat your friends like lumbering brutes? That's what you want?"
​
Axel tried to comprehend what Agnes was saying. All he could reply was, "I want VOOM!"
​
"Axel—" Bronte said, striving for patience. Her eggling, Guinevere, stood close by and she wanted to be a good example.
​
Axel didn't let her finish. "Rotomotoman can help!"
​
Rotomotoman, Axel's robot, was a meter-tall cylinder with a hemispherical head. He was equipped with rod-like arms and a compartment in his torso that was an incubator for saurian eggs.
​
"Rotomotoman can't get up the attic stairs," Kara pointed out. "He can take the lift to the second floor, but there's no lift to the attic."
​
Axel froze in thought.
​
"Hah!" Agnes looked over in the direction of the attic stairs. "Would you risk our incubator just to move that—" she returned her gaze to the VOOM! "—that...PINK!"
​
"The question isn't if it can be done." Preston stared at the car's chrome-painted grillwork. "But should it?"
​
"Thank you!" Agnes inspected the tires. "With that idiot at the helm, these things can come loose!" She turned to the others and gave them her narrow-eyed stare. "Mark my words—if you humor this irresponsible lunatic again, you will regret it!"
​
"Perhaps it is best," Doc said, lowering his head and speaking softly into Axel's ear, "if your new chariot remains up here in the attic, where it won't disturb the sensibilities of our more apprehensive companions."
​
"What's a chariot?" Axel asked him.
​
"A horse-drawn cart."
​
Axel swung around to again behold the VOOM! "So we need horses to get it downstairs!"
​
Before Doc could correct Axel, Charlie, the grayish-beige triceratops, remarked to Rosie, "You know, it wouldn't hurt to find a place for this downstairs, out of the way." He stared up at the driver-side door and asked, "Does it work?"
​
"What?" Axel raised his forepaw to his jaw.
​
"Does it work? Engine run? Make noise? Windows and all that Mappo™ stuff? Might be fun for the little ones. Change of pace."
​
"Yes!" Axel nodded emphatically. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
​
"So," said Charlie, "it works, huh?"
​
Axel stopped nodding. "What?"
​
"Does it work?"
​
"I...." His mouth opened wide. "I don't know!"
​
"You might want to find out." Charlie glanced in the direction of the attic stairs. "Well, going to try it or not?"
​
Axel hopped onto the vehicle and climbed over the driver-side door. Inside, he stared at the dashboard with its dozens of buttons and tabs. With no idea what the functions of any of the buttons were, and no idea which button to press first, and able to reach any of them only if he bounced on the VOOM!'s front seat and launched himself at the dashboard—he started at the left and systematically moved to the right. The process was neither elegant nor effective, and by the time Axel reached the last button, the only thing he knew for sure was that it was exhausting.
​
Axel opened the door on the passenger side but didn't get out. He caught his breath, then hopped onto the front seat-back—high enough to see all his fellow saurs staring up at him. He looked at Tom and asked, "How does it start?"
​
Tom, in soft, patient voice, said, "A battery, I suppose."
​
Axel thought it over and said, "Yes! Yes! The battery!"
​
Tom nodded and knelt before the vehicle. He opened the hood and looked inside. All the parts, moving or stationary, were the same pink color as the vehicle's exterior. Many of the parts were neatly labeled. Many were not. He looked into the engine compartment the way you'd look at a problem growing bigger.
​
"Tom! Tom!"
​
"Yes, Axel?"
​
"What's wrong with the battery?"
​
"I don't know," Tom said. "It might need to be replaced or charged."
​
Axel nodded emphatically. "The charge! The charge!"
​
"This is an old, old model," said Tom. "If instructions and parts are still available, we might get this thing running."
​
Agnes walked up to Tom and raised her head as far upward as she could raise it. "If you do, human, I'll never talk to you again!" She stormed off, Sluggo and Leslie trailing behind.
​
The other saurs followed, all but Axel and Tibor. They stared at VOOM! as if it might spontaneously animate itself.
​
"You know," said Tom, "this isn't a bad place for it. You could come up here and ride in it. Until I can find out more about how it works, you'll have to power it with your imagination."
​
"Tibor's imagination!" said Tibor.
​
The way Axel stared at the pink machine, Tom could already see the wheels in motion.
​
That night, Axel dreamed of highways. He saw wide roads of concrete and steel and asphalt supported above the world on great columns. He sped along like a particle in some accelerator. All he saw were smears of light, as if all matter were stretched to the limits of its elasticity. Axel sped along, riding the thrill as much as the highway, shouting, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" in his sleep until he wasn't just shouting in his sleep. And Agnes ordered him out of the sleep room until he calmed down, lest he wake every saur in the sleep pile.
​
He hurried up to the attic. Maybe if he slept in VOOM!, he reasoned, the dreams would go even faster.
​
When he turned left at the top of the stairs and arrived at the place he had first seen VOOM!—it was gone.
​
Gone.
​
GONE!
​
In a panic, he ran from room to room (with Agnes again shouting him out of the sleep room). He ran as if he had lost the vehicle through some carelessness on his part and had to get it back or lose it forever.
​
And then, on the first floor, in the center of the living room—there it was.
​
VOOM!
​
He hopped inside and slept on the front seat.
​
He dreamed of highways, and robots, and space guys in the stars.
​
In the morning, he awoke to the sight of nearly every saur in the house (with Tom thrown in) staring at him—and VOOM!—with astonishment.
​
Or, in Agnes's case, with rage.
​
"How dare you move that pink downstairs without permission!"
​
Axel hadn't moved it; couldn't have.
​
"Human!" she shouted at Tom (she never addressed humans by their names). "Call the junk man! Move this dangerous piece of trash! Now!"
​
Everyone speculated on how the car could have been transported (or transported itself) downstairs in the first place, until Alfie, the tiny purple theropod who rarely moved far from the side of his bigger, violet-shaded buddy Tyrone, pointed upward and indicated the ceiling, or the second floor, or the attic, or maybe the heavens.
​
"Geraldine," he said.
​
With that, the speculation ceased.
​
​
None of the events described here—the major ones—would have occurred were it not for the sauropod no more than eighteen centimeters in length. She was a shade of light umber that looked darker at certain times of day, like dusk or midnight.
​
In her tiny black eyes was a gleam of diabolical serenity.
​
Her name was Geraldine.
​
Her one purpose in life, as some saw it, was to unsettle.
​
Unsettle what? As an old actor from the previous century once replied to a similar question: "Whaddaya got?"
​
She spent long hours in the shoebox atop the desk against the wall in the workroom—the shoebox everyone referred to as her "lab," and from which everyone kept a safe distance. The little ones spoke of the strange lights and unearthly noises that emanated from the lab. The bigger saurs chose not to speak of them at all. Only Bronte's eggling, Guinevere, looked up at the lab with no apparent fear—maybe even with a bit of longing and anticipation. Nothing worried Bronte more than seeing her little one with her forelegs up on a tiny plastic cube to get a better glimpse of the lab's cutout doorway, the sauropod skull and crossed femurs printed above it, and the block-letter inscription below: "DANGER!"
​
None of the events described here would have occurred were it not for Geraldine. And that includes the little packages Geraldine prepared and left for Tom just outside the lab about the same time Diogenes died.
​
Packages addressed to Nicholas Danner c/o Toyco.
​
Why they weren't sent to his home, Danner couldn't say. He didn't even know where they came from. No notes included. No return address.
​
The contents of these tiny parcels were oddly shaped bits of plastic and metal, like pieces left over from an assemble-it-yourself kit, or the sweepings of a junk shop.
​
It could have been a joke, or the activity of a schizophrenic, he thought, until the third package arrived with a note.
​
On a wrinkled scrap of paper, in big block letters, were three words: "ARE YOU STUPID?"
​
Danner read the words: clear as a signature, clear as a fingerprint, if the sender had fingers, which she didn't.
​
He slipped the contents out of sight, as he had done with the previous two, into the bottom drawer of his desk.
​
At home, out of the monitoring range of his employers, he made a call to the Atherton Foundation.
​
"This is Nicholas Danner. I need to schedule an appointment to visit the house."
​
He specified the old neo-Victorian just outside the great megalopolis where Danner lived.
​
"And the reason for this appointment, Mr. Danner?" asked the young assistant to the associate director.
​
"Geraldine."
​
Without another word, Danner's call was redirected to the head of the Foundation. If the color of the phone had been red—bright, urgent red—it still would not have looked urgent enough.
​
​
CHRISTINE HAIG was smart, like many young women. Smart enough to think herself ready for power with all its emblems and proofs, as much power as she could get. She had a sense of humor, too, which, for the working set, was a luxury few could afford. She also had cunning. Few ever succeeded without that.
​
Where she surpassed the lot was in the possession of wit. For good reason, those in power keep a careful eye on the possessor of wit.
​
And so Christine felt it was a deliberate assault on her self-esteem—one devised as a challenge, perhaps—when her manager, Zoey Guinness, placed her in the workstation directly across from Nicholas Danner, the "old guy" who'd been there forever. Yes, she was hired as a Sequencer, like Danner. Even so, she felt she'd been relegated to the dustiest corner of the shop. Zoey explained it was a temporary "space allocation" problem. Christine only trusted Zoey to a point; she could tell Ms. Guinness was equally ambitious. But that might also make her a good mentor. Zoey wore high heels, even under casual slacks.
​
In suit, Christine, with her first pay, bought a pair of high heels, though she had yet to learn how to walk in them.
​
That her situation, sitting across from Danner, might be more fortuitous to her didn't occur until the afternoon she noticed Mr. Austin, the SANI Corp. executive who was sizing up Toyco for the imminent merger, staring from across the room at Danner with a "something" gaze: part awe, part respect, part envy; and—strangest of all—part fear.
​
She looked at Austin, then at Danner, then back at Austin. It didn't make sense. Neither one spoke a word. And yet it appeared that Danner—the old "lifer" at the dead end of a dead-end career—had achieved a status Austin and his high-powered cohorts could never attain.
​
Not that Christine wanted to be anything like Danner, but whatever it was Danner had, she wanted it. Like the high-heeled shoes. Like the exclusive device Austin carried about with him: a notebook made of small slips of paper bound together by a spiral of wire. Private, unhackable. Why hadn't anyone thought of such a thing before?
​
Emblems and proofs of power. Oh, she really wanted them.
​
Even if it meant becoming Danner's friend to earn them.
​
​
Continued Here

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@Volcano Squad

A big thank you to all the help I got on this sub while planning! Keep in mind that this is just one experience, your mileage may vary with any of the suggestions made.
INFO ON US: Mid 30s, this was my third trip to Japan (previously 2017 & 2018), my husband's first, and I picked the Kyushu spots because his only request was somewhere 'off the beaten path'. Kyushu is amazing! This was by-far my best trip, although to be fair it was also our honeymoon.
The post went long so I split it into two parts, the first being the Kyushu leg and the second being the Tokyo one.
THINGS I WOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY:

• We spent 6 days in Kyushu and 7 days in Tokyo, I would have preferred to add two extra days to Yakushima and one day to Kagoshima and spent less time in Tokyo. I love Tokyo and am glad we went but it felt very overwhelming and expensive after our experiences in the South.
• Flown directly to Tokyo and then flown Tokyo to Fukuoka instead of having a layover in Hawaii. The extra five hours of flying really killed us, and made both flights feel longer. I incorrectly thought Hawaii was 'on the way' because my grasp of geography is tenuous at best.
• Utilized coin lockers at train stations. A few days we lugged our backpacks/shopping bags around only to realize at the end of the day that we could have easily ditched them.
• This may be controversial, but researched and had more alternative options pinned for restaurants. The days I put 'find something good in X area!' were our most disappointing food choices.
• Not been afraid of buses. My last trips I had significant issues with navigating them (couldn't find the bus stop, got on the wrong bus, bus came at weird times) but this trip it was incredibly easy, especially with the IC card. I planned some activities around avoiding the bus which was unnecessary.
• Picked a 10AM time slot for the Ghibli Museum, when I came at 12 it was packed
• This is going to seem very obvious, but moved around less in Tokyo. I got stuck with an AirBNB reservation that I didn't cancel quickly enough, but oh boy were we tried of our luggage by the end.

GENERAL RECOMMENDATIONS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD BEFORE:

• The IC card made riding trains and buses incredibly easy and no matter where you get your card it will work anywhere in Japan that IC cards are accepted.
• While many places take card now it's important to still have backup cash available
• The Charles Schwab checking account travel card has no foreign transaction fees and reimburses ATM fees at the end of the month. I also got lucky and ordered about $500 worth of yen from my bank while the rates were really good. For us $1500 USD each was enough for food, transportation, and souvenirs
• Google maps worked well everywhere except a few rural areas. You do, however, have to be mindful of what floor a store is on!
• On prior trips AirBNBs were cheapemore convenient than hotels but this time I found the reverse to be true.
• Out motto before leaving was 'take half the clothes and twice the money'. We had a backpack and smaller rolling bag each, the roller bag was about half-full of clothing. We brought 6 days worth of clothes and did laundry twice, I brought detergent slips to use.
• I planned by putting pins on Google Maps on everything I heard might be cool/was recommended/I found reading other trip reports and from there created my itinerary based on proximity. I also labeled the pins with different icons (one for food, one for stores, one for shrines etc). I was glad to have a ton of options as it allowed us a lot of alternatives depending on our mood. The itinerary had one or two 'must do' items each day and the rest we decided impulsively
• It was really helpful to know basic Japanese and I have a slight suspicion we got seated a couple times because I knew how to correctly indicate there were two in our party. I had taken a language course online, it was mostly helpful for numbers and simple interactions but still worth the time I put in.
• Google Lens seems to have improved and would now translate hand-written menus, although mysteriously my husband would often get better results than me
• Almost everyone we interacted with spoke enough English for us to reach understanding, when we couldn't we used Google Translate. A lot of people seemed to have Google Translate already downloaded on their phones.

DAY 0: Fukuoka
We arrived in the evening and breezed through customs and immigration, I think maybe it took 15 minutes total? Definitely use the QR code, we got to skip the only longer line because of it. After picking up our Namoca cards (the local IC card) and our pocket wifi we opted to take a cab to the hotel as my husband contracted food poisoning at the Hawaii airport and was feeling as well as you'd expect after spending 10 hours in an airplane bathroom.
We stayed at the Nishitetsu Grand Hotel. Really great location and service but the rooms were a bit outdated and we could not control the air conditioning. This would become a theme at many of our hotels! Most were set at something like 75 degrees so we baked at night. This hotel at least had a notice on the thermostat, the rest just had controls that did nothing or would only let us turn off the air temporarily before automatically turning it back on.
When we checked in I inquired about forwarding our luggage to Kagoshima and the receptionist suggested we send it two days early, which was a bummer as it meant we had to take two days worth of clothing in our backpacks. Not a huge deal, but something to keep in mind if you're planning on forwarding luggage.
For dinner we went to Torikizoku, a very cheap yakitori chain. There was a small wait and the food isn't spectacular, but it's inexpensive and easy after a very long flight and you don't feel bad only ordering a few items. After dinner we withdrew money from the 7-11 ATM, grabbed snacks, and called it a night.
DAY 1: Fukuoka
Despite staying up until 9pm we woke up at 430am. We both felt too excited to sleep anymore and decided to just get up and get breakfast tonkotsu ramen at the 24-hour Ichiran flagship store. We leisurely meandered along the river stopping to take pictures of small shrines and temples, the streets of Fukuoka are very peaceful first thing in the morning. Ichiran was unexpectedly busy, with a line forming by the time we left. It ended up being our least-favorite ramen of the trip but is by no means bad, just very heavy.
After returning to the hotel to rest for a bit I started what would become my daily tradition of tracking down a coffee shop for caffeine. I was surprised to find that many did not open until 9 or 10. This morning I went to Manu Coffee, and my attempts to use my Japanese reading skills were thwarted by the barista very nicely flipping their menu over to the English side. It's a cool shop with eclectic décor and one of the best coffees I had in Japan, I wish I had picked up some beans.
At 10AM we had an Airbnb tour of Hakata Temples and Shrines, which I highly recommend if you're in Fukuoka. The tour is run by a retired couple who do this for fun, it was just the four of us going to various locations. They were knowledgeable, funny, and generally a great hang. We learned a lot and it was nice to have insight into temples and shrines for the remainder of our trip. If you only go to one temple in Fukuoka I recommend Tochoji Temple for the giant wooden Buddha. It was here I acquired my goshuincho and got my first stamp!
After the tour we went back to the hotel to forward our luggage (an incredibly easy process, we showed them the next hotel address and paid, they took care of the rest) before going to Canal City Hakata for shopping and the fountain show. The mall has neat architecture and the show was charming but I wouldn't go out of the way for it. I'll say that after shopping in Tokyo I appreciate how uncrowded and calm it felt!
Finally we had dinner at Tempura Hirao and drinks at Citadel. The food at Hirao was good but not amazing, although our rating might be biased from how tired we were. The portions were GIANT, the price affordable, but the best thing was discovering that we liked shiokara (salted squid). It's appearance was a bit off-putting, slimy and grey, but it tasted amazing with lots of yuzu flavor.
Citadel was the real standout of the evening. They had a large selection of homemade liquor including truly bizarre flavors like Bolognese. The one picture I took that night shows a flight of Orange Gin, Lavender Gin, and Oolong Tea Gin; and they have things other than gin, that's just my favorite liquor. I'm not sure if the bartender is always this friendly or just wanted to practice her English but we spent over an hour chatting and laughing with her before calling it a night. Sit at the bar if you can!
Step Count: 29,611
DAY 2: Dazaifu and Kurume
We managed to sleep until 6am and spent a relaxed morning enjoying children's television, another staple of our trip. We often caught one that had various Rube Goldberg machines, there was another with puppets and stop motion animation that we enjoyed. My favorite from the trip was a segment that explained menstrual cycles, it's nice that it's destigmatized!
After packing and heading out I introduced my husband to the joys of warm vending machine drinks and the ease and convenience of the Japanese rail system as we navigated to Dazaifu for the day.
Our first stop was Kazamidori (風見鶏) for coffee and tea. It's a neat little store with beautiful china cups and antique furniture. My husband, who is a British by birth and and an avid tea drinker, rated this the best cup of tea of the trip.
Now adequately caffeinated we shopped on the main street, including a stop at a very cute Ghibli store, before making our way to Tenmangu Shrine. Despite being a weekday the main shrine was busy so we wandered up to Tenkaiinari Shrine, which took us on a really lovely walk through the forest. We paid our respects, I got my goshuin stamp from Tenmangu, and we headed to the Kyushu National Museum.
When buying our museum tickets I thought we could either get a ticket to the special exhibition OR regular exhibitions but not both on one ticket so we picked the special exhibition. This was wrong, and luckily we got kind of lost after finishing the special exhibition and discovered we could access both.
The special exhibition was on the works of Nagasawa Rosetsu and to be honest we weren't that excited and mostly went because it's a style we hadn't seen before, but it is pretty spectacular in person and I don't think online images can do the artwork justice. The regular exhibitions were also neat, especially the artifacts from before the 1500s, but we went through them rather quickly as I started to get shooting pain in my feet with every step.
After a short train and bus ride we got to our hotel for the night, Green Rich Hotel Kurume. I had originally booked a different hotel but swapped to this one after realizing we would have had a "Small Double Bed" and while we enjoy cuddling we are also starfish sleepers. Green Rich Hotel was an unexpected delight, with a giant room that had a surprise massage chair. I'm not sure how or why we got a massage chair, I didn't see anything about that amenity when I booked the room, but it was very needed after so much walking. It's a modern hotel with hot-spring public bath, although we have tattoos and when we asked if we could use it we were told no. Despite this I'd still recommend the hotel.
Kurume doesn't seem to get a lot of international tourists and we were asked by many people why we picked it. Simple answer: RAMEN. About 7 years ago I watched a video about Kurume Ramen Seiyoken and it had been a goal ever since. After utilizing the massage chair we opted to take a bus to the restaurant and I am happy to report it was the best ramen of our trip. The tonkotsu ramen was thick and creamy without being heavy or greasy and the fried rice was superb. The staff was friendly and helpful as well, I continue to think back fondly of that ramen. Honestly Kurume seemed like a nice town, I probably could have added a day there too.
Step Count: 20,347
DAY 3: Kagoshima
We had seen a ton of barbershops the night before and spent the morning unsuccessfully trying to track down a haircut for my husband. Almost a disproportionate amount of barbers? It seems wild that Kurume can support that many. Unfortunately the ones that were open didn't have availability until much later in the day so we headed to the train station to book our shinkansen ticket. We did a bit of shopping at the station and I bought one of my favorite items of the trip, a shirt with the Kurume city mascot on it. I don't think I'll ever stop being delighted by the use of mascots in Japan.
The next available train was in an hour so we split up, me to find coffee and him to try KFC. シャンブル is a small café that looks like a grandparents dining room and smells faintly of cigarettes. I was the only customer and had a very basic conversation in Japanese with the friendly older woman working, who I think is one of the owners. The coffee was excellent and cheap, I was proud of myself for knowing enough Japanese to converse, it was a delightful encounter.
The train ride was uneventful although I got unreserved seat tickets because they were cheaper, which eventually became standing-room only. About 30 minutes into the hour ride we gave up our seats to an elderly couple and stood the rest of the way, my feet were very displeased that I did not reserve seats.
I was pretty shocked by how different Kagoshima felt from other places I have been in Japan. I've done the Kyoto-Nara-Osaka-Hiroshima-Tokyo route, and even been to Shirakawa-go, but Kagoshima just had a different vibe to it. Before leaving the station we purchased the CUTE, a one-day pass that allows unlimited travel on some buses, streetcars and ferries in Kagoshima City and Sakurajima. It ended up not being worth it as we only used it once and the other bus we took was not covered by the pass, but it only cost 1200 yen so I'm not super upset about it. If nothing else it makes a nice souvenir.
We rode the tram to our hotel, Hotel Gate Kagoshima, to drop off our backpacks. Our luggage was there waiting for us, huzzah! It was one of our smallest rooms and it must have recently been renovated because our room looked nothing like the pictures. We're split on our opinions of it; I really liked the décor and didn't mind that our room was basically just a giant raised bed with a small space in front that led to the bathroom, my husband claims to have nearly died climbing into it at night and gave it the lowest rating of our hotels. The location was convenient and the staff was helpful, I wouldn't mind staying here again.
We were too early to check in but they were happy to hold our bags so we ventured out for lunch. I was craving yakiniku and in my experience these places are far more affordable for lunch so we picked Gyu do! based on proximity and rating. Really excellent meat, a brand of black Wagyu beef raised on the restaurant’s own farm and dry-aged, it was a bit pricey but understandably so. After lunch while walking through the Tenmonkan arcade my husband spotted a boat racing gambling spot he wanted to check out, I have no interest in gambling and dropped him off to acquire more coffee.
The first place I went was full, and I suspect they were telling me I could wait but when I didn't understand they just did the 'X' finger sign. Ashitanotizu was completely empty but the staff was nice and I could tell it was probably a fun place at night, I think it turns into a jazz bar with live music. The waitress, like most people in Kyushu who we spoke to for any length of time, wanted to know what brought us there. She said they were starting to see more international tourists but mostly it's domestic tourists who come to Kagoshima. I also go that vibe, but always felt any curiosity was friendly.
Meanwhile my husband was having quite the adventure at the boat races. The only Westerner in a sea of older Japanese gentlemen it took him several tries and the assistance of many people to figure out how to put in the bets. Perhaps unsurprisingly this was the place where the fewest people spoke English, but many people tried very hard to communicate and explain things. He eventually figured it out and had a grand time, it seemed like people enjoyed the novelty of having a tourist there.
We both slightly lost track of time and ended up asking our hotel to book a cab to go to Sengan-en, a garden and home built by a samurai family in the 17th century. The gardens close at 5pm and had we left earlier we could have used our pass but c'est la vie. Our cab driver was exceptionally amicable and communicated through a translation device that worked impressively well. He talked about living in Kagoshima, recommended some restaurants, and expressed his sadness that Akira Toriyama had passed.
We only had a little over an hour at Sengan-en but I'm glad we made the trek, it was a highlight. The weather was beautiful and we were both enchanted by the gardens. One benefit to going later is that it was pretty empty so we wandered alone, taking pictures of Sakurajima (the nearby active volcano) and pretending that we lived there. On the way back we accidentally took a bus not covered by our pass, but the fare was cheap and easily paid with coins.
Last-minute I had booked us a bar hopping tour after seeing it featured on Instagram, which started at 6pm. It was less polished than the tour we had in Fukuoka, and we later found out we were actually the first people to book this specific tour, but I'd still recommend it. The guide was very nice, we learned a lot about shochu and went to places we definitely wouldn't have tried without a guide, and eventually we inebriatedly befriended a random Japanese couple who came with us the rest of the night. We definitely drank more than is advisable, especially with an early morning ferry ride ahead of us, but our guide kindly stayed late and we all got ramen before turning in. I'm still friends with both our guide and the couple on Instagram, maybe one day they'll take us up on our offer to come visit!
Step Count: 25,408
DAY 4: Yakushima
We most definitely regretted our choices the next morning as we had to be at the ferry terminal at 700am. I had booked the high-speed ferry in the interest of time, and despite our hangovers we found it to be a smooth ride so we were able to get a bit more sleep before arriving at the Miyanoura Port.
When booking a rental car I had briefly panicked as we were arriving on Sunday and it seems that a lot of the rental car places are closed OR it might have been that no cars were available. Luckily I was able to book one through Budget Rent a Car, which was off-site from the port so they sent a van to pick us up. It was only about a 5 minute drive, their staff was friendly and helpful, and their office is decorated with hidden kodama in cedar sculptures which was very endearing. It was really easy (kind of alarmingly so) for my husband to get the international license, just a AAA form and passport photos and he was good to go. We loved our little red Kei car and even with fairly substantial driving didn't need to fill up until right before returning the car.
Yakushima is magical and was our favorite place of the entire journey. It's known for rain but we were blessed with sunny warm weather our entire trip. After picking up the car we first went to our hotel, Umi-no Cottage Tida. It's a small place, run by a husband and wife, with four two-story cottages that have amazing views of both the ocean and mountains. Each cottage has a partially open air bath with it's own ocean view. There's also a friendly orange cat! We had four twin beds in our cottage so we slept separately, but I think that may have helped us sleep more soundly. The only downsides are it's about an hour from Miyanoura, so staying here without renting a car is probably doable but difficult, and there aren't a ton of other dinner options if you don't eat at the hotel.
When we checked in we saw they had passionfruit juice for sale and mentioned to the owner that we hadn't had passionfruit before so she cut some open for us to eat immediately, 10/10 some of the best fruit I've ever had in my life. It was a small and thoughtful gesture that was emblematic of our experiences on the island.
We still had time to kill before we could officially check into the room so we drove to a grocery store, A-Coop, for supplies and snacks. The Pizza Bus happened to be outside, which sounded delicious in our still hungover state. Their bacon and potato pizza was good but could have used more salt, I think a more traditional pizza might have been better as the crust was excellent.
After grabbing our pizza we attempted to navigate to a nearby small park by the ocean we found on Google, 尾之間港. It's not really a park per se, there's no picnic tables or bathroom, but there is a small shrine and the water was beautiful. On our drive GPS had us go down some VERY narrow streets, to the point where we had to tuck in the side mirrors so as not to scrape them. It was stressful! We did our best to avoid similar roads going forward.
After our picnic we impulsively decided to stop at a nearby beach, Harutahama Beach (春田浜海水浴場), to explore tide pools and then made a brief stop at Torokki Waterfall, which is a short hike from the main road. The placard informed us that it's one of only two waterfall in Japan that fall directly into the sea. I wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to see it, but if you're passing by it's easily accessible and beautiful.
At this point our room was ready so we headed back to the cottage. I had reserved dinner at the hotel the first night so we spent the rest of the evening doing laundry, taking a long bath, and napping. The kaiseki dinner itself was spectacular, one of the best meals of the trip. We ate delicious food while watching the ocean at sunset, and our dessert came with a sparkler and a congratulations on our wedding. It was a very special memory that we'll always cherish.
Step Count: 10,441
DAY 5: Yakushima
In the morning we ate what was easily the best breakfast of our vacation (I still dream of those vegetables) and were asked our plans for the day. Our initial idea to drive around the island was thwarted by the road being closed for repairs, but we decided to drive as far north as we could before turning around.
We first stopped at Ohko Waterfall, a giant beautiful waterfall that I would recommend going out of your way for. As we drove further along the road we encountered dozens of wild monkeys and deer, all hanging out together for some reason. On the ferry we had watched a video of monkeys riding the deer but we didn't get lucky enough for that experience. We saw 0 cars and spent some time just stopped, watching the baby monkeys play from the safety of our car. The deer were slightly perturbed by our presence but the monkeys could not have cared less.
We turned around at the bridge and headed counter-clockwise, first stopping at Hiro Bakery for snacks. Really cute bakery with lots of variety, we fell in love with these cheese-bacon bread wraps that we tried to get more of the next day but they weren't selling them. Had I known that was our only chance we would have bought out the remainder. There aren't any bathrooms or seats at Hiro so we went to a grocery store down the road for drinks and feasted in the car.
After the bakery we drove to Hanii Kiln, a small pottery shop in the middle of nowhere. Google wanted us to park on the side of a road and walk through a forest, but as we didn't fancy bushwhacking we went back to where I had seen a sign earlier and followed that instead. We were still worried we had taken a wrong turn and were driving up the long driveway to some strangers home, but it was correct. The shop is run out of the artists home, he was very welcoming and spoke some English. Looking back I wish I had asked him more questions and spoken to him about his pieces more, but I was feeling oddly shy and a bit pressed for time. We bought a number of items, my favorite being a whale incense holder, that all made it home in one piece! It's completely a testament to how well he wrapped them. I had heard he has a dog but we tragically did not see the dog.
We waved goodbye and headed to Yakusugi Land, a nature preserve with giant ancient cedar trees, for some hiking. The drive was a bit harrowing at times but nothing too intense. You just had to be mindful of the corners as it's one lane in many places and there are giant tour buses.
At the preserve there's a nice free informational section above the bathrooms and the trails are well-maintained. You have the option to do a number of different hikes depending on length, the shortest being 30 minutes and the longest 210, we picked the 80 minute course. Gorgeous scenery, we only ran into a couple other hikers. I'd rate us both as moderately in shape and the course wasn't difficult for us. The photos we took don't come close to doing justice to how beautiful it was.
After our hike and spending too much money in the gift shop we drove to 牛床詣所, a very tiny Shinto shrine in the middle of the forest, and Yaku-jinja, a larger shrine where I got another goshuin stamp. Both are near Miyanoura and worth a visit. At this point it was about 4pm and my husband was feeling pretty bushed so we decided to forgo waiting for restaurants to open in Miyanoura and began driving the hour back to our hotel.
After some more laundry and another bath we picked BAR しらはま for dinner, which is labeled on Google as an izakaya but had a very minimal food menu that was half pasta dishes. Although the food options were limited it was still a really fun and memorable night as the one other customer, an older gentleman, encouraged us to sing karaoke with him. We all alternated, my husband and I sang some duets together, and after singing several Disney songs the hostess compared me to Belle which may be one of the highest compliments I've ever received. It was a Monday night and we left pretty early, but I could see this place being especially fun on a busier night.
Step Count: 14,968
DAY 6: Kirishima
After another spectacular breakfast at our hotel we sadly said goodbye to our hosts and headed to drop off the car rental. The cottages were very spacious and had well-equipped kitchens, we definitely wished we had more time especially since we did not manage to make it to the ocean onsens or Shiratani Unsui Gorge. We're already talking about our next trip and would really love to return to Yakushima.
We had time for a brief stop at Hiro Bakery again, which tragically did not have our beloved cheese bacon wraps, before dropping off the car. At the ferry terminal we learned that the slower car ferry had been canceled due to weather but ours was still scheduled to leave. Something to keep in mind when booking your transportation! I had booked our tickets several months in advance but it appeared some people were just buying tickets the same day, although this may be unavailable during busier seasons. It also says on the ticket that check in ends 20 minutes before departure but I saw people checking in later then that too, not that you'd want to be late.
At the ferry terminal in Kagoshima we purchased a ticket for the airport bus. The Kagoshima airport is pretty far outside the city, I think it took us about an hour to get there, but it was a really beautiful drive with a lot of trees blooming on the hillsides. We had booked another rental car at the airport through Nissan Rent A Car. It's offsite so you have to go to a desk to request transport, but after we figured that part out it was easy. This was a much fancier hybrid Kei car with Bluetooth capability and navigation that we first thought but was unnecessary but would later save us.
Since we had some time to kill before check-in we did a 7-11 run for snacks and drinks and then headed to Kagoshima Shrine. It's a lovely shrine next to a school, during our visit we were serenaded by a band practice. We also got to meet a shrine horse and feed him carrots! Uncrowded and very peaceful, if you visit I recommend walking through the torii gates up to the Inari Shrine where there is a picturesque small shrine in a cave.
Our hotel was Anraku Onsen Shumine (安楽温泉 朱峰), which was a thirteen minute drive or 30 minute bus ride from the airport. After asking for advice here about renting a car we decided to so we could see more of the area. I had picked this ryokan somewhat at random; I knew I wanted to stay near the airport since we were flying to Tokyo the next day and we also wanted to stay at a ryokan during our trip. This place is small with both western and tatami rooms. We had picked a tatami room to have that experience and were a bit dismayed to learn that since Covid you now had to put down your own futon, but with some googling we figured it out.
Where this hotel really shines is the onsen and the food. They had three baths inside and an outdoor onsen facing the mountains, and I honestly could have added an extra day here just to spend more time in it. The inside baths had three different temperatures, the coldest one being a lying down bath with headrest, but my favorite was the outdoor one. I lost track of time watching the trees and listening birds. My husband is not a bath-guy and even he loved the onsen, especially the water. At dinner we discovered that there were two other couples staying at the ryokan but I only ran into someone once, otherwise I had the onsen to myself.
The food was very traditional and excellent, I let them know about my allergies when I checked in and they were able to accommodate them. I'd rate the meals at our Yakushima hotel more highly but I'd still happily go to this ryokan again, the fish especially was excellent.
STEP COUNT: 10,581
DAY 7: Kirishima & Tokyo (Kichijoji)
After a full Japanese breakfast and a last dip in the onsen we checked out of the hotel. The couple running it very sweetly went into the road to make sure no cars were coming while we backed out and insisted on carrying our luggage despite my husbands protests. Our flight wasn't until 3pm so we decided to drive to Kirishima Jingu. We were surprised at how busy it was for a weekday morning until we discovered they were having a rice planting festival. We couldn't really follow what was happening but there were people dressed as cows, some wearing masks, and lots of Shinto priests chanting. It was a really neat event to stumble upon and even though it felt busy it was spacious enough to not feel crowded. I got my goshuin stamp and we wandered the grounds for a bit, the Yama Shrine was particularly beautiful.
Feeling refreshed and lighter we decided to seek out tea and coffee. Google suggested Cafe Cocorotte so we struck out in that direction. Things were going smoothly...until they weren't. Suddenly we were on streets that did not exist on Google, we kept arriving at dead ends, and the area appeared to be a neighborhood? Even our attempts to escape were thwarted as these tiny, one-lane roads were mazelike and would often start one direction before taking a sharp turn the other way. After another dead end brought us to a large red building with "TOY STORE" in giant English letters on the outside I briefly wondered if we were being Spirited Away. Luckily the car GPS seemed to understand the area better so we put in a random gas station and had it direct us. There were still definitely roads that did not exist on their map either, but it was enough to get us out of there.
Giving up on tea we headed to Ryusuien (川魚料理＆手打ち蕎麦 流水苑), a soba noodle shop where the owner has their own hatchery for rainbow trout, carp, and I think salmon? It was actually right across the border in Miyazaki. The waitress was friendly and made conversation with us, I ordered soba while my husband got udon and we split a grilled fish. The noodles were tasty but less memorable than the fish. My husband was still craving tea and asked if they had any black tea, and despite it not being on the menu they found a tea bag for him. We ate quickly and drove to the airport.
Kagoshima airport is small but we were worried about security so we skipped the hot spring footbaths, but I think it only took us maybe 10 minutes to get to the gate. We flew on JetStar, a budget airline that gets the job done and has decent legroom. The flight took about two hours and we landed in Narita.
While waiting in line to get Skyliner tickets I saw GoogleMaps had a link to where you could purchase the tickets online. I bought it and was briefly confused how to get through the gates as the ticket had our seat number but no QR code or anything, a friendly gate attendant explained that if you buy the online ticket you use your IC card to scan and then show the ticket on your phone to an attendant if asked.
After a few train changes, which went very smoothly, we arrived at our hotel Kichijōji Tōkyū REI Hotel. Very conveniently located right by the train station, the room was modern and functional if a bit small. We could not adjust the temperature of the room but the window opened which made it more tolerable. They had tea and coffee in the lobby on the 4th floor.
I really loved Kichijoji the last time I was in Japan in 2018 and remember it being quiet and laid-back. The area felt very different this time, the new train station is large and the streets were brimming with people. Not a ton of western tourists but still very busy.
For dinner we ventured to Harmonica Yokocho, an area full of narrow alleys that used to be an underground flea market but now has a ton of small bars and izakayas. We went to a few places, with Harmonica Kitchen and Bar being our favorite, but we didn't really vibe with the area generally. I think it may have suffered in comparison to how quiet and calm our last few days had been, if I could do it again I would have had us get dinner at a restaurant and then a nightcap in Harmonica Yokocho.
STEP COUNT: 16,636

Standing at a podium surrounding a full circular lecture hall was a lone Bipedal Insectoid being resembling a praying mantis. His four segmented legs lightly bouncing in place as the entire room was bustling with mumbles and chatter that soon died off as attention was drawn to him and his fluttering thorax wing. His segmented exoskeleton bright green with his arms holding a translucent glass plate with two metal segments. one on the top and one on the bottom. The Insectoid being begins his presentation as a title soon shows. "The Shocking discovery of a new Species." By Scryxl. (*Pronounced Scry Zell*)
"Greetings to everyone here of the Galactic Systems Chancellors. I have asked you all here to reveal the secret project that we of the High Council have been working on the last 8 stellar Cycles." Scryxl speaks as the large circular holographic projector behind him kicks on revealing a small blue orb floating and rotating.
"This here is a newly discovered planet. it is inside one of the galaxies arms near the edge. The thing about this planet in particular is that it is the only planet inside its system to hold living breathing life. Not only is that strange but what is also strange is that the entire solar system is inside a void Bubble." scryxl says as Chatter begins when a zooming out of the system is shown. it shows 10 planets with 1 massive one having a large elliptical orbit two asteroid belts and 4 gas planets. one of which could be considered a brown star. but after that. Nothing. Just a blank empty void of space in a full sphere spanning nearly 10 light years in diameter.
Occurrences like this were extremely rare as void pockets such as this were usually too frigidly cold to hold any form of living species even those with perfect conditions around the parent star. The probability of this occuring was astronomically impossible that no one thought they could actually house life.
"This species which calls this planet home have named it "Earth" another name for Dirt in the languages spoken there. The species itself is also truly very different from all other known species in the galaxy but we will get to that in a moment. Truthfully upon examination we thought the planet itself was just us all here in the high council going insane but no...the planet exists, Its cacophony of species exists and the one species to truly prosper on it are just as unbelievable." Scryxl says as his mandibles click in excitement and his eyes dart from every other species surrounding him.
"What could possibly make the world seem so impossible to exist to the great ones of the high council? Speak Tri'lxl yan" (*Pronounced: Try Ixel yen.*) a Female voice asks coming from a red furred Bovine like species that has red and white mushrooms growing on its back. "The fact the planet has met all classifications to be considered a Gamma class Hellworld for one." scryxl exclaims causing terrified gasps to envelope the entire hall.
"Now as i was saying, This planet has met the perfect conditions for habitation of many species of varying climates. they have insects such as my species the Tri'lxl yan, The bovine race of the Ha'loon, Even the frigid cold loving Kan'yanx! all in one planet. but so many more as well. Every member species of this galactic chamber has a form of species on that planet." Scryxl says showing the counterparts of the species that live on the planet. Each one shocking the members as they all. stare in wonder. "From deserts that run upwards of 139+ degrees in heat. to frigid colds that reach 200 below 0. This planet holds every conceivable environment known. However they have storms there that make our own homeworld devastators seem like a light drizzle. Winds gaining speeds over 300 miles per hour. Strikes of super heated plasma that explode the very atmosphere around itself, swirling devil pillars that destroy countless miles of landscapes, fires that burn entire forests and even quakes that shatter and alter the very ground beneath the species feet! This world even has actively erupting Volcanos and Even a new classification we have dubbed "Super volcanos" Who's entire covered summit span hundreds of miles across." Scryxl speaks once again as the holograms continue showing footage of the disasters. wooden objects piercing solid stone from winds, hurricanes and lightning strikes, earthquakes and tornados ravaging the land as fires and volcanos are shown making nearly every member of the council fear for their own lives just seeing these things.
"What the hell kind of devil world has the high council found Scryxl? What in all of the holy ones has gone wrong for the universe to BIRTH SUCH AN ATROCITY?" A Oylynx asks. the Oylynx being a bipedal Owl like species.
"Ah but that's the thing. Nothing was wrong. We of the council believe this world has existed as a counter balance to everything else good in the galaxy. Where one species thrived another on this world didn't, Where one species died another was born here. But that the planet itself is nothing when we compare it to the dominant species of the world." Scryxl says as he Pulls out a small orb from his robes that floats up and brings up a huge display showing a nearly hairless Bipedal creature with two arms, two legs, two eyes and diagrams of organs, range of motion, even diagrams of its entire internal systems shocking every species in the room who immediately begin staring in fascination, horror and wonder. Some species even stare in lust and primal hunger at the vulnerable looking species.
"I ask for your attention here. I know how these species look but....Believe me when i say that these beings..These Human Beings are far from helpless." Scryxl speaks as the orb that showed the diagrams and medical knowledge soon changes to showing these creatures in various activities. Everything from fighting huge forest fires, Two or more Humans in ejat appears to be gladiatorial matches beating each other into unconsciousness. Speeding vehicles smashing into corners and flipping as they race these metal coffins around designated tracks and crashing large vehicles into one another or smaller ones even a large Reptilian looking metal behemoth that breaths fire and grabs and eats other metal vehicles of transport. The videos switch to shots of combat between the species and how they devastate each other with their weapons ranging from knife fights, fist fights and even weapons that spit fire and cause entire holes to be blown in their enemies. Some who lost limbs to explosive devices or having holes inside them still continue to fight back against attackers. One video shows a species resembling the Guzvaldi mauling a human being leaving him bleeding and having huge gashes and missing chunks of himself who after the attack gets back up and heads to seek medical attention.
"This species calling itself Human Beings are just Built Different. Everything you see here is footage captured by our drones and archives of data these humans have kept of their own past so they do not repeat the mistakes they made previously. We have footage ranging from their mating habits, To fights, to everyday life and then some. This species was forged out of the wasted genetics of every other species on the planet that in the gestating primordial Ooze cobbled itself together into a usable form. This species has even detailed their origins and evolution from what they call the "Great apes" family. Evolving from tree dwelling apes, to plains striding early humans. They theorized that the planet itself created the entire human species for the simple purpose of being food for every predator species on the planet. They were born with no claws to hunt so they created tools, They had no fur for warmth so they stole fire from nature, They were hunted by everything hiding in tall grass so they evolved to walk upright and see them before being seen themselves. This species survived because of how they hunt and they hunt by literally NEVER getting tired. Imagine if you were Ha'loon grazing in a field and a predator alerted you, you'd run away. Problem is humans would simply follow you. They alert you again and you would run away again and humans would follow. This species Tracked, hunted and killed species of animals by outlasting them all in endurance and learning to throw pointed sticks and rocks." Scryxl spoke as 3D imaging showed just what he was talking about causing a few of the Ha'loon species to faint or cower in fear. Predators that never tire and could track you for miles? Worst nightmare fuel to give them.
"Humans were spited by the very nature of their homeworld and so humans evolved in a way to spite nature. See here, Half of the species in this room can easily be exterminated by two extremely deadly chemical poisons. Capsaicin and Caffeine. My species included. Humans have a plant there on the Earth THAT NATURALLY PRODUCE THEM!" Scryxl clicks a button showing two plants shocking the council.
"Not only this but the reason those plants exist is that they evolved this way so as to not be eaten by any species! The plants are called Jalapeno and Aravica Berries. Humans didn't get the memo that nature wanted these plants to be left alone and decided that just to spite nature they will STILL EAT THEM!" Scryxl says showing videos of Humans eating the plants happily and causing gasps.
"That's not the worst part, This species has also selectively bred the Jalapeno plant with other naturally occuring plants to make hybrids with even more naturally occuring capsaicin. They bred it to the point one pepper species contains so much capsaicin that JUST ONE PEPPER can literally cause the extinction of every exoskeletal species on the council. However to the humans it causes Extreme pain and hallucinations. The humans still eat them." Scryxl speaks showing a bunch of different humans eating the literal genocide plant and not even caring.
"The caffeine? they somehow found a way to concentrate the chemical by roasting the seed that holds it and turning it into a drink." Scryxl shows people drinking different colored liquids of what is called coffee showing diagrams of how the caffeine was concentrated 1000 Times the norm in the plant.
"They are even able to eat the fermented cacao plant. They call it Chocolate! its considered a delicious snack." Scryxl says showing large groups having muddy brown bricks in their hands being enjoyed as snacks by this species as well as a liquid drink.
"The Human species has been Classified just as insane as the world that birthed them. This species however has done something not even we of this galactic conglomerate of species has thought to do and even the high council has agreed that we will soon be working on bringing it to ourselves." Scryxl says as he brings up something that no one seems to understand.
"The humans of earth are technologically attuned to the point they are already exploring the other planets of their system. We captured a probe they sent that had all the information we could ever want on then including language, translations, diagrams and stories of battles past. They even created a strange thing called "The Internet" which is a massive interconnected network of nodes and information caches worldwide that anyone at anytime can access with the right equipment. This "Internet" holds the entirety of the humans collective knowledge on ... well everything! Its a massive data store that is actively updated, improved and worked on to the point they are even experimenting with augmenting the very fabric of their perceived reality with digital information!" Scryxl says as he shows humans wearing headsets that while not transporting the human itself it transforms the world around them into something new for them to enjoy bringing awe and wonder to other species.
"This Internet is also a store of many...interesting things. The internet has many rules to follow but one Universal rule known the world over is one dubbed Rule 34. That rule in particular based on translation with help of the probe we caught named " Voyager 1" is states "Rule 34: If it Exists, their is porn of it. No exceptions." Now this is obviously hyperbole right? Humans don't know of alien species right? That is correct but Humans have before any other species theorized about the existence of alien life and Theorized what those species could or would look like. They archived them on the Internet through Art pieces and drawings. like this one." Scryxl says as he pulls up images from a human website called e621. the images shown are mostly harmless but very very explicit showing many varying different species that all call this galaxy home.
"As you can see the human species has a mind forever curious of the universe around them and by sheer LUCK they have somehow guessed somewhat accurate depictions of many of the species in this room. They also express interest in mating with these depictions as seen by these humans in what is called a " Comment section" and humans have no shame dressing up as though they were these species! These humans are called Furries and Scallies!" Scryxl continues as he shows images of humans wearing full suits to turn themselves into facsimiles of these various species.
"But be warned if you do try and mate with humans. they may seem vulnerable however they are anything but. This here is how human muscles work." Scryxl says showing an animated depiction of a group of muscles working in tandem to expand and contract to facilitate movement showing they work like levers giving humans untold strength beyond what normal species have.
"They grew this kind of muscle because otherwise they could not survive the gravity of their own planet. Its gravity is 9.32 Meters per second per second. Meaning 9.32meteres Squared. The planet earth has a gravity 2.465 times the Galactic average and humans see this as no big deal. Not only that but the clips i showed of their version of warfare? yeah that is merely a light skirmish between two countries. The humans who lost limbs and had holes shot in them? even the one man Mauled by that quadruped species who got up? its because of another deadly chemical that can quite literally cause death to nearly All the species here so much so that it was declared that production from any source would be considered treason and result in banishment from the galactic council? Yes I speak of adrenaline! the potent chemical that send even the weakest amongst us into a violent killing frenzy that would take a full security detail to stop." Scryxl says as he shows the diagram of a human brain showing one very tiny portion before a label comes up calling it by name.
"This is the Human Adrenal gland located in the brain. Under extreme duress, stress and damage this tiny gland floods the human body with enough adrenaline to kill 10 full Grown Diz'clixian warrior caste! It does this to keep the human alive long enough to find medical attention. Humans evolved a gland to produce a chemical that makes them nearly unkillable simply to survive the bullshit their own planet throws at them! This species defies logic, reason and calls the very concept of what it takes for life to form into question. We of the high council Brought this species to attention now for the simple reason that we need you all to understand that you are not to engage humans in any form of combat or contact." scryxel says as another diagram shows up showing a large invading fleet of star ships as it seems to be nearing planet earth.
"We say this because Humans are quite literally just built different and they may not be around very long. an invading force of reavers from the andromeda galaxy have arrived and set their sites on earth as a staging point. We can not contact Earth because we all need to prepare for the inevitable galactic war approaching. The only thing we can do is hope that Humans being built different is enough to stall the reavers and buy us time to gather the forces we need to fight them. This council is hereby dismissed. Alert your ruling governments of the incoming threat and the species who are unknowingly about to hold the line for us all." Scryxl says as he walks away to an elevator ascending to an upper floor leaving the visual display of earth and all the information on earth free to be transmitted. The galactic Council mourning what possible could have been a very welcomed or hated addition to the Galaxy at large.

Remember the human
Abide by community rules
Respect the privacy of others
Don't impersonate other people or entities
Properly label the Not Safe For Working (NSFW) content
Keep it legal
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@Volcano Squad

I am frustrated on how can people like this act this way
What do you guys think of people who defend GVH and slander snoot game and IWHTG?
what do you guys think of people who slander SG and IWHTG?

Remember the human
Abide by community rules
Respect the privacy of others
Don't impersonate other people or entities
Properly label the Not Safe For Working (NSFW) content
Keep it legal
Don't break Reddit (a lot of us really like it here)
@Volcano Squad

I in recent years have become fixated on certain type of Prog music. Those with themes of Earth's Geologic history, Paleontology and the animals within. Thanks to The Ocean Collective, Charlie Griffiths' Tiktaalika, Haken's Fauna, Giant Squid's The Ichthyologist, and a few other albums the desire to continue searching for this music has only grown, and I've found some pretty cool little-known-of bands. That is the purpose of this post, both to help others scratch the same itch that I had, but also shed light to some damn good bands.
I will be including hyper links of snippets of songs, moments that resonated with me. As "testers" to see if you think the sounds you hear are worthy of a full album listen.
DISCLAIMER: What are "Prog and Post Metal bands similar to the Ocean Collective"? The answer: it's totally subjective. Some of these picks are similar because of their music styles. Others are only included due to the overall themes (Geology, Paleontology, etc.) some other branches of science will be included as well. Most on this list will be BOTH.
If you wanna skip my post entirely, This Link was heavily influential on my journey finding these hidden gems. I will be only posting the albums I personally have listened to and vouch for. There's plenty of other stuff there that I listened to that personally didn't connect. I'd recommend visiting regardless of if you read my post or not.
Format:
Band Name Album or EP (year) Genre Monthly listeners on Spotify
Novarupta Marine Snow (2020) Post-Metal 416 Monthly Listeners (FFO: The Ocean Collective, Cult of Luna, Rosetta)
Favorite Song: Trieste
Snippets: 11°22.4′N 142°35.5′E (Genre Mixing) ,Trieste (Riffage and Atmosphere)
Description: Novarupta is a band named after the volcano that caused the single biggest eruption in the 20th century. All of their albums have an elemental theme to them, the one linked is regarding Water. Specifically this album talks a lot about the deepest point in the known ocean, the Challenger Deep in the Mariana Trench. For the most part, their songs have guest vocals on every song of their first two albums. Names such as Martin Persner (Ex-Ghost, Magna Carta Cartel), Arvid Hällagård (Greenleaf), and Mike Paparo (Artificial Brain) are guest vocalists on this album. As you may gather, this is a wide range of different vocal sounds that leads to one of the more unique album experiences I've had. Songs like No Constellation remind me of Demersal and Benthic on Pelagial by the Ocean, while others are lighter more traditional post-metal. On their previous album Disillusioned Fire they had Mikael Stanne (Dark Tranquility, The Halo Effect, In Flames) and Tomas Lijedahl (Breach, The Ocean Collective) on vocals as well. Disillusioned Fire is just as worth a listen as Marine Snow in my opinion.
Additionally, Novarupta has released an Album based on air which is much more shoegazy and spaced out (Think Lantlos' Melting Sun) called Carrion Movements. As well as THREE separate april fools releases venturing out of the Metal genre entirely. Iron Ghosts is a damn good Synth/Darkpop EP a la Ulver, Mortiis and The Black Queen. 2 of the other April Fools releases are more pop-rocky collaborations with Fred Burman of Satan Takes a Holiday. A band I was unaware of prior to finding this band. The singles are surprisingly good, despite not being what I came to this band for.
Anyways, this band rules. They are completing their series of albums on the elements later this year, the word "Final" was used. Unsure if this project will be defunct going forward, but they are well worth a listen to now regardless.
The Matador Destroyer (2014) Sludge 212 Monthly listeners (Inflated by music that's not theirs) (FFO: The Ocean Collective, Herod, Neurosis)
Favorite Song: Rodinia
Snippets: Rodina (Big Chorus), Vaalbara (Atmosphere into Sludge), Nuna (Layers/Texture)
Description: This album is 27 minutes and 49 seconds long, short and all all of it is sweet. This is some of the better sludge I've ever heard, catchy, riffy, atmospheric. The album has two features on it, Colin Jeffs (Ex-Aversion's Crown, Ex- Widow the Sea) has guest vocals on Rodinia, and Nik Carpenter of ROME has guest vocals on Pangea. Regardless of the musical content, the songs are mainly about the various supercontinents throughout Earth's history.
They have one other album, Descent Into the Maelstrom that is about 30 minutes long, and in my opinion is more atmospheric. However, they do get quite sludgy throughout, and is well worth a listen if you were a fan of Destroyer. The other music on their Spotify page is NOT theirs.
Thunderlung Thunderlung EP (2018) Sludge 9 Monthly Listeners (FFO: Mastodon, The Ocean Collective, Anciients?)
Favorite Song: I Am The Mountain
Snippets: I Am The Mountain (Riff) , Reawakening (Atmosphere), From the Belt of Orion (Breakdown)
Description: Venturing pretty heavily into Mastodon territory here, lot of SOLID riffage here. Reminds me a bit of The Ocean's Precambrian Disk 1 (Where they sound a lot like Mastodon imo). The riffage and vocals sound great on this record. I couldn't find the lyrics from this record, so thematically I can't say for certain that it falls within the themes covered by The Ocean Collective. However, what little I was able to pick up did allude to more "Cataclysmic" vibes, world is going to end etc. And with a track like "From the Belt of Orion" thought I'd make an exception. Likely will do so again with the next band.
Nebra Skydisk EP (2009) Sludge 39 Monthly Listeners (FFO: Mastodon, The Ocean Collective, Neurosis)
Favorite Song: Shoulder of Orion
Snippets: Shoulder of Orion (Mastodon), Magellan Clouds (build-up), Tannhäuser Gate (Sludge)
Description: Discovered this band when I was looking through various Pelagic Records (The Ocean Collective's) bands that they had on label and picking out the ones with the coolest song titles or album art to listen to. If you thought that Thunderlung was Mastodon-y. This is arguably even more so. The drum tone in particular here. Like the drumming in Thunderlung is vaguely Dailoresque, but the sound of the drums here is total early mastodon. They are (were?) an instrumental band, so no in depth lyrics, but have space-y names for all of their songs. As well as a blade-runner reference. Short 18 minute 5 song EP.
Glassgod Ancestral Stories (2021) Symphonic Metal 20 Monthly Listeners (FFO: Apocalyptica, Epica, Fleshgod Apocalypse)
Favorite Song: Terra Nova
Snippets: Mankind (Riffage), Terra Nova (Epic Chorus), Underwater Bloom softer section -> riff)
Description: To be honest, of the albums here this is the one that I listen to the least. Not saying that it isn't good, it's just not for me 9/10 days of the week. I think that this album will not be for 99% of the people in this sub probably, but I'm including it anyway. It's a very strange combination of symphonic metal, sometimes power metal vibes, while dabbling a bit into death metal at times. The album is about the history of Earth, from its formation to the emergence of mankind.
Supercontinent Vaalbara (2008) Sludge/Post-Metal 20 Monthly Listeners (FFO: The Ocean Collective, Mastodon, Neurosis)
Favorite Song: Cataclysms
Snippets: Cataclysms (Groovy Riff), Impact Winter (build-up), Earthrise (Prog)
Description: Again, leaning more into the Mastodon archetype, but still very clear similarities with The Ocean Collective. I think regardless of the riffs what reminds me of Mastodon the most is the bass tone in earthrise. Seriously sounds similar to some of Troy Sanders' bass sounds. I really really enjoyed this album, it has everything I want from something like this. Obviously filling the same niche with geology as the Ocean Collective, but these lyrics are much more literal than The Ocean's usually are, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. I really like that Rain Gives Rise is kinda the divider between the first half and back half of the album, not necessarily sonically but it does feel like a nice reprieve from the heaviness. Well worth a check out in my opinion, this was one of my favorites I had listened to on this journey.
The Mercury Tree Pterodactyls (2011) Prog/Alt-Rock 659 Monthly Listeners (FFO: Porcupine Tree, Oceansize, lighter prog-rock)
Favorite Song: Time Lapse
Snippets: Octarine (Big Chorus) , Pterodactyls (Cool Riff) , Hatchlings (Odd time signatures)
Description: As mentioned above, a bit lighter in comparison to most of the bands in here, but perhaps a sonic change is welcomed after listening to so much Sludgy post metal. Other than the bands mentioned above, I get Rush vibes in some parts, even hints of Primus in places. To be honest, the lyrics on this album aren't really all that enthralling. They're only vaguely mention the topics the songs are about and are nonsensical in places. Nonetheless I deemed them worthy of a spot on this list.
Nami The Eternal Light of the Unconscious Mind (2013) Prog-Metal 111 Monthly Listeners (FFO: The Ocean Collective, TOOL, Katatonia, Soen, Saxophone (the instrument))
Favorite Song: Silent Mouth ft Loïc Rosetti
Snippets: Silent Mouth (Loïc ), The Dream Eater (Saxophone/Guitar solos), Hunter's Dormancy (Prog)
Description: VERY good album. Mentioned them in This post ~6 months ago, thought they were worthy of another mention here. Though, there are other bands I mentioned in that post that I still highly recommend you check out. This album I would call the most "Traditionally" Progressive album i've listed. Lots of elements from various bands. This band doesn't really have any scientific themes regarding them in this album as far as I can tell, this album is included for how sonically similar they are to The Ocean Collective, plus featuring their singer on one of their songs. In addition to Loïc Rosetti (The Ocean Collective), Marc Martins and Carlos Lozano of Persefone feature on this album with vocals on The Beholders, and the guitar solo on The Dream Eater respectively. Additionally Santi Casas of Mordigans also provides guest vocals on The Beholders. I have not listened to their other album, however I did transcribe the lyrics for it on genius when I first discovered this band as did I with this album. Their second album seems to have a more elemental theme, and if it's half as good as this one it's worth a listen.
I think that's where I'm going to leave it. There's a few more bands, The Craton, Dryad, The Great Die, LLNN, Thecondontion and many more that I do also enjoy but just not as strongly/don't have anything to say about them.
One that I WANTED to add is Simulacra's Cretaceous, a Djent album. However their music is not on Youtube and I could not do the snippets I wanted. If that sounds interesting to you, check it out. If unsure I'd say check out Image Shifter, probably a tie between that and Beast of Burden for my favorite on the album.
And if you're craving for more, remember I linked my old post in the Nami section, as well as a link to a list of a plethora of albums in the introduction.
I hope you all enjoyed this post, and please let me know your thoughts on the music that I suggested in the comments. Always love to hear people's thoughts on the music that I suggest.

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