So I was listening to a podcast by comedian Andrew Heaton (X), and he had a very interesting episode examining people's nostalgia for the American 1950's complete with humorous skits. For illustration's sake he assumed 50's America was another country called "Fiftiesland" and compared it's stats like GDP or live expectancy to Modern America. He conclude that a lot of the nostalgia came from how many astonishing improvements happened between 1900-1950 vs 1950-2024, even though Modern America is superior in almost every metric.
At the end he had a long monologue where he was trying to explain to his fictional Grandma Edna Bickle, born in 1889 and elderly by the 50's, what it'd be like in the future compared to how she grew up. Imagine trying to explain Netflix to someone who grew up with a radio.
It really demonstrates, in a lighthearted way, just how far we've come in ~125 years.
So imagine how astonishing the world will be in another 100, 300, or 500 years...
Anyway, it's a bit of a read, but I thought some of you all might enjoy it and Mr Heaten was nice enough to send me the transcript. Enjoy!

My great grandmother, Edna, was born in 1889. My Dad and I were recently reminiscing about her, and he said, “Gramma Bickle, tough old bird, tough old bird. Went blind at ninety-two, quit driving at ninety-four, died at ninety-six. Almost lived in three different centuries.” I have some immediate questions about that chronology, and the realization that Gramma Bickle apparently drove her car blind for two full years before handing her keys in, but I digress.
In 1954 my great gramma Bickle was sixty-five years old. Think about how the country changed from her childhood to her golden years. From when she was born, to a little younger than my parents are today, she saw an entire country go from horse and buggies and pretty much nobody owning a car, to almost everybody has a car. Only six percent of the homes in America had electricity when she was a teenager. By the mid nineteen fifties, the whole country is throbbing with electricity.
In her lifetime, the country went from basically no light bulbs, radios, telephones, refrigerators, or washing machines, to a country where all of that stuff is ubiquitous.
In the year 1900, only ten percent of American households had a stove in them. By 1960,--when my great grandmother is the same age as my parents are now—95% of households do. When she was born, anti-biotics didn’t exist, and polio could cripple your baby. By the time she’s my age, penicillen—a miracle drug!—has been invented. By the time she’s my parents’ age, penicillen is widely available and some genius has recently invented a polio vaccine.
So, if we’re looking at Fiftiesland as a country around today, here’s what’s going on. All of the old people in this country, in their lifetime, went from a horse-and-buggy 19th century third world economy with polio and no electricity—something that, if it existed today, we would be sending anthropoligsts to—to a more modern second world economy perhaps akin to contemporary Guatemala. Which is no small jump.
And the people my age who live in Fiftiesland are still celebrating kicking the crap out of the Nazis, inventing the atom bomb, and enjoying an economy which is comparatively booming—because all of the neighboring economies are rubble.
If Gramma Bickle, at forty years old, my age now, could somehow visit me in contemporary America—she would think I made a pact with Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness. Or maybe, maybe her progeny somehow goes on to conquer Oklahoma as warlords, and all her great grandchildren become opulant Oriental sultans.
I have an icebox in my kitchen that’s powered by lightning that lives in my wall. I have another smaller box that makes my food hot by shooting it with invisible particles like the ray gun from War of the Worlds.
Not only do I let my dog sleep in a tiny bed inside my house, like a toddler, we just finished up a round of antiobitics from when he cut his foot. My great-grandfather—this is true—lived with tuburculosis for years before it finally killed him. Anyway, see that dog I make wear a necktie for my amuesment? Yeah, my dog takes miracle drugs unavailable to John D. Rockefeller. Last year Wallace got elbow cancer but the doctor fixed that, no problem, took a couple of months. Wallace literally has better medical treatment available to him a mile from my house than any human being alive in 1950.
Gramma, you wanna watch Netflix, Paramount Plus, HBO, Peacock, or Amazon Prime? It’s television. Well, television is sort of like radio, only much better, and with images, and I can watch it whenever I want, and there are thousands of options. Like, imagine Broadway, only, like, a few thousand of them, and they’re all inside of that rectangle.
Huh, yeah, I’m not explaining that very well. Right. Okay, so you know how in your time you know multiple people who were literally slaves at some point in their life? Like, you personally know some older people who were, at one point, legally a form of property?
So basically, I have this glass rectangle on my wall that a million of the world’s greatest comedians and dramatists live inside of as my slaves, and they put on plays for me when I’m tired after work. Except I don’t have to feed them or pay them because I use my friend Nick’s HBO account. They just eat the lightning that lives in my wall.
What? Oh yes, I get very tired from work, Gramma. Really get [sigh] worn out, you know? Well, you know how your dad was a wheatfarmer, who spent hours and hours plowing through dust and boneshards in Indian Territory, where he might literally be shot by a Commanche, and the threat of looming starvation for the entire family was never more than one drout away?
Right, so I… I talk for a living. Yeah, that’s right. No, a bunch of strangers just sort of send me money every month cause they enjoy hearing me talk. It’s actually very challenging. Because! Gramma, I do a lot research, you see. Like for this episode, I had to read a lot, and I had to do a lot of math. No, I did not personally do the math.
I have another magical rectangle that has several thosuand math slaves trapped inside that do the actual math for me. When I was a kid I had to perssonally punch the equations in myself, and the rectantle would crunch the numbers. Those were hard times. Now I have a smarter glass rectangle that I can just talk to. I just type in, “Hey, average these ten numbers, okay” and there’s, I dunno, like translater slaves that talk to the math slaves, and they all figure out whatever I’m trying to say, increasingly in lower case and with minimal punctuation, and then give me the answer.
But I have to do the research. Like, I have to read a lot. No, I don’t go to a library. I have another rectangle that has all of the world’s libraries inside of it, and also a lot of pornography, so I just stay at home and look at that particular rectangle, alteranting between research and pornography depending on my mood.
It sure is tough, Gramma. I don’t have any coworkers to keep me company. I’m all by myself here in my well-lit, smokeless, air conditionined home. That’s right, air conditioning! Not just in my house, either—in my camper—which is a tiny extra house I tow behind my armored, self-propelling buggy, which I feed fermented dinosaur juice they pump out of the ground. Oh yeah. It has a rectangle in it that plays music. I’d say I have roughly… three to eight million musician slaves who live in the rectangle in my car, so I don’t get bored when driving to the movies, which is a very large rectangle I go to when I’m tired of watching rectangles on my couch.
What? Good question. It’s called a “camper” because I go camping in it. It’s sort of my hobby. You see, Gramma, my life is so stupidly cushy and comfortable that I amuse myself by going out into the woods to forego wall lightning, air conditioning, and even pornography sometimes, when I can’t get a signal, and instead I sit in a hammock and shit in holes I dig for fun. We call that “roughing it.” For sport, I spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars doing what your entire family did their entire lives until they finally got indoor plumbing, except of course my camper has a propane stove built in, whereas your pioneer family had to dig a hole in the side of a hill and cower in it from the weather like cavemen while burning cow dung for warmth. I dunno where propane comes from. Probably dinosaur farts or something.
Anyway, I prefer to travel around in my camper rather than fly—that’s right, fly—yeah, like a spitfire pilot—which I do multiple times a year using frequent flier points. Which are sort of free, imaginary coupons that banks give me to thank me for using their credit cards, which are also rectangles, but these particular rectangles are small and flat and full of slave bankers that live in my pocket, next to my nine-billion dollar super computer I mostly use as a map, so I don’t have to go through the hassle of folding and unfolding maps, and also to send funny pictures to people in Scotland, in between watching porn in the woods.
I digress. Let’s all take a deep breath. Somebody from my great grandmother’s generation, who lived long enough to be an adult in Fiftiesland, would rightly think: We live in a golden age! We live in the future!
Back in contemporary America, my parents are in their early seventies. My parents today are about how old Gramma Bickle was at the end of the 1950s. And the jump isn’t bad, but it’s not nearly as mind-blowing. The developments they’ve seen since childhood are very impressive in terms of computers and telecommunications and medicine, but otherwise, the world they live in is a more efficient, clever version of the world they grew up in. Cars are safer and more comfortable and fuel efficient, but they’re still basically cars. LED lights are cheaper than incandescent bulbs, but they’re still essentially electric lights. Penicillan is better, but it’s still just clinical mold that strategically murders errant bacteria.
If Fiftiesland were a country, rather than our own history, we would pretty much look at it sort of how we see the poorer parts of Latin America or Eastern Europe: a very nice place with lovely people, wonderful to visit, try the food. Get some funky vintage clothes while you’re there.
But a comparatively poor economy to America or Western Europe. You wouldn’t want to immigrate there for the money. And also, not surprisingly, some views about gender, sex before marriage, having kids really young, having lots of kids, and skepticism about homosexuality that a globetrotter and even quite a few conservatives today might be tempted to call “quaint” or “traditional.”
Basically, if Fiftiesland were a country today, we would view it like Honduras or Moldova, or maybe Czechoslavkia after the wall came down.

Game Information

Game Title: Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
Platforms:

• Nintendo Switch (May 23, 2024)

Trailers:

• Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door – Overview Trailer – Nintendo Switch
• Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door — Our Story Begins — Nintendo Switch
• Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door - Nintendo Direct 9.14.2023

Developer: Intelligent Systems
Publisher: Nintendo
Review Aggregator:
OpenCritic - 89 average - 100% recommended - 29 reviews

Critic Reviews

CGMagazine - Jordan Biordi - 9 / 10

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is an excellent remake of an excellent game with enough modern additions to make it feel fresh and new.

COGconnected - James Paley - 90 / 100

Thousand Year Door is a remake done right. The new sound and visuals look terrific. The game’s essential identity has been preserved. Plus, the original release is able to shine through with no distractions. It’s exactly as wonderful as you remember it being. I’m still impressed with the writing, and the level design is mostly excellent. I still hate the tournament arc, though. And I wish some of the puzzles didn’t involve scouring a dungeon until a forgotten button or door is dragged into the sunlight. Although the original release is amazing, it’s also nearly impossible to play anymore. For new and old fans, Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door is an essential addition to the Nintendo Switch library.

Checkpoint Gaming - Edie W-K - 9.5 / 10

Nostalgia goggles haven't failed us: Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is still a masterpiece. With vastly improved graphics, a great rearranged soundtrack, and a few tasteful gameplay touchups, Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door for Nintendo Switch is now the best version of this fan-favourite classic. The only thing missing is extra content for those who have already played it, but for everyone else, there's no reason not to pick this one up.

ComicBook.com - Marc Deschamps - 4.5 / 5

All in all, Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is an easy recommendation. For those that never got a chance to play the original game, there's no better time than the present, and the Nintendo Switch version is easily the best way to play it.

Console Creatures - Bobby Pashalidis - Recommended

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is a masterpiece that continues to enchant nearly two decades after its initial release.

Daily Mirror - Scott McCrae - 4 / 5

Though Hellblade 2 has the power to force your jaw open and give you goosebumps, too often the whole project ends up feeling like a very expensive tech demo – an absolute tour de force of technical achievement bogged down in its own sense of gravitas and mystery. Keeping you off the stick for so many of its most impactful moments, and not giving you enough to play with when you do have control, hobbles the potential of this visual and aural masterpiece enough to make the whole experience feel like it was constantly trying to find a foothold on that dread Icelandic scree, and never really getting to its feet until you come staggering over the finish line.

Daily Star - Tom Hutchison - 4.5 / 5

Overall a beautiful looking game, one that feels fresh and in-keeping with recent modern Mario efforts.

Digital Trends - Tomas Franzese - 4.5 / 5

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door stands the test of time and is fantastic on Nintendo Switch.

Digitec Magazine - Domagoj Belancic - German - 4 / 5

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is a classic Mario role-playing game that every fan of the chubby plumber should play. If you've already played the original, it's worth taking another trip into this paper world thanks to the completely revamped graphics and soundtrack.
The simplified role-playing mechanics and the interactivity of the turn-based battles make the game accessible even to beginners and players who don't usually like RPGs. The numerous environments impress with their quirky humor, excellently written characters and a beautiful paper look. What I didn't like were the annoying backtracking passages and some tedious mechanics. They unnecessarily slow down the pace as the game progresses.

Enternity.gr - Nikitas Kavouklis - Greek - 10 / 10

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is a magical combination of parameters that make this title must have!

GAMES.CH - Benjamin Braun - German - 87%

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is still a great mixture of RPG and platformer with fine papercraft graphics and humorous story. But in terms of content, the visually advanced Switch version delivers nothing new for dye connoisseurs of the GameCube original, which makes it less interesting for them as for players who experience the remastered version for the first time.

Game Informer - Kyle Hilliard - 8.3 / 10

Thousand-Year Door is now a series highlight. It marks the first instance of where I didn’t want a Mario RPG to go (I generally prefer the Mario & Luigi direction), but the constant fourth-wall breaking, myriad colorful and unique characters, and its willingness to just be weird all lead to a joyful journey.

Glitched Africa - Marco Cocomello - 9 / 10

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door Remake is wonderfully crafted for modern hardware while still capturing the magic and love of the original 20-year-old game. There’s a reason this is a cult classic and now everyone can enjoy it.

God is a Geek - Adam Cook - 10 / 10

Whether you're replaying for the new visuals, or a very lucky first-time player, Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is one of the best RPGs ever to come out of Nintendo.

IGN - Logan Plant - 9 / 10

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is an amazingly loyal and visually dazzling remake of a treasured RPG, and the improvements made throughout easily make this the definitive way to experience Mario’s unforgettable quest.

Nintendo Life - Alana Hagues - 9 / 10

For 20 years, Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door has been held as the best Mario RPG of all time, and the Switch remake proves it has earned that title. This is a fantastic RPG adventure, whether you're a Mario fan or not, with some best-in-class combat, brilliant writing, and a few little creases ironed out to make this the definitive way to play Thousand-Year Door. We wish there was a little more to do post-credits, but there's no doubt about it, this is a beautiful-looking Switch remake and a must-play RPG.

Nintendo News - 9 / 10

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door for Nintendo Switch improves upon the GameCube classic in almost every way; not just with its impressive graphical overhaul, but with plenty of quality-of-life changes and additional content too. As long as you can handle some occasional backtracking and a reduced frame-rate of 30fps, this is undoubtedly the ultimate Paper Mario RPG experience. Mario games usually put the narrative to the wayside to focus on having fun and engaging gameplay, but The Thousand-Year Door manages to do both and succeeds at it in such a way that still hasn’t been topped 20 years later.

Press Start - James Mitchell - 9.5 / 10

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year-Door is a masterful remake that improves on the original in practically every way while keeping everything that made it a mainstay in the Nintendo canon. While its timelessness is reflected in the strength of its humour, wit and story, a major visual overhaul and much needed quality of life improvements make The Thousand-Year Door an adventure that can't be skipped.

SECTOR.sk - Michal Korec - Slovak - 8.5 / 10

It is not a full-blown remake with overhauled graphics or new episodes. But deep within lies truly one of the best parts of the series to be enjoyed even 20 years later with excellent gameplay, sharp-wit writing and funny dialogues for long evenings or short bursts.

Saudi Gamer - Arabic - 9 / 10

Behind its vibrant and cheerful appearance hides a great battle system and a memorable cast of characters and events in a world brimming with content. Just be aware that some patience is required to enjoy the ride fully.

Spaziogames - Gianluca Arena - Italian - 8.2 / 10

The Switch version of Paper Mario and the Thousand-year door is a rare delight, just like the GameCube one before it: it's a funny and clever mix between a turn based RPG and a platform game, full of jokes and memorable characters. The price might be a little bit steep and the frame rate is halved if compared to the original, but it's still worth to dip your toes into it even twenty years later.

Stevivor - Ben Salter - 9 / 10

The Thousand-Year Door remake is a triumphant return for Paper Mario. It turns back to an earlier chapter in the series that knows exactly what it’s trying to achieve and does it masterfully.

TheGamer - Ben Sledge - 4 / 5

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door will probably be the last Mario game to release (solely) on the Switch. While Wonder will take the plaudits, porting this cult classic means that a new generation of players can experience it. New fans will have a ball, laughing along with Mario & co., even if their experience will be slightly marred by the backtracking and pacing. Old fans will enjoy the quality of life improvements and some new additions. Whether you’re a Paper Mario veteran or this is your first time entering his origami world, this is the definitive way to experience The Thousand-Year Door.

TheSixthAxis - Stefan L - 9 / 10

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is a wonderful remake of a GameCube classic. Now in a modern game engine, but with all the quirkiness and charm of the original story and characters, and with a return to the original Paper Mario combat style, it's great for Mario RPG fans and newcomers alike.

TrustedReviews - By Ryan Jones - 4.5 / 5

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Twinfinite - Luke Hinton - 4 / 5

While I wasn’t there for the original, I now completely get just why Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is so revered among Mario fans, and why demands for a remaster were practically ceaseless. It’s the absolute pinnacle of Mario RPGs, and if it was a bit more focused as an overall narrative experience, in the discussion as one of the plumber’s best-ever games.

VGC - Andy Robinson - 5 / 5

Alongside last year’s excellent Super Mario RPG remake, The Thousand-Year Door is one of the very best Mario spin-offs on Nintendo Switch, whether you’re an old fan or discovering it for the first time.

Video Chums - Mary Billington - 9 / 10

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is a classic RPG with a perfect blend of turn-based combat and adventuring complete with a rewarding unlockable abilities system that encourages you to explore every nook and cranny. Plus, its updated graphics, hilarious humour, and welcome gameplay improvements make it more accessible than ever. 🚪

Wccftech - Nathan Birch - 8 / 10

While the new Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door preserves the gonzo charm that made the original game a cult classic, not a lot has been done to deal with its padding and other design quirks. If you’re a hardcore Thousand-Year Door fan, worry not, you’re going to love this spiffy new version. If you’re new to the game or weren’t entirely sold the first time around, you’re still likely to find plenty to enjoy here, but you may also notice a few tattered edges.

So, this weekend we had a village festival.
On saturday, it was mostly for younger people
On sunday morning there was an angry rant from a parent on our village facebook page.
The 12 year son/daughter came home late (the offical time for this age is 8 pm without parents) and drunk. Of course sick like a dog.
The Rant: why did nobody check the ages of the kids, who gave alcohol to them......
I am not exactly sure what the parents expected. Probably: "poor child" and "Bad staff for not watching the kid"
But the General reaction on Facebook and the visitors of the festival was quite the opposite.
The parent got dragged. ...
Most comments were like: why wasnt the kid at home; where were the parents; why didnt they check on their kid.
Very funny! Edit: i live in Germany

The following has recently been posted from the user "Vellis" on Discord. I'm reposting it here because IMO it's extremely valuable information on optimizing your Kins behaviour - especially for non-native speakers.
Original link to the post on Discord: https://discord.com/channels/1116127115574779905/1242383088902737972/1242383088902737972
THE COMPLETE ORIGINAL POST FROM VELLIS:
Something I've seen requested quite a few times is a lexicon for Kin personality traits, particularly from the perspective of non-native English speakers. So I made one. There are some big asterisks here though. For each trait, I'm going to give a brief description of the effect that I EXPECT that trait to have on your kin, based on the English meaning of the word and my own experience. There's no guarantee that Kindroid will interpret each of these words exactly the same way I have, or that it will produce the exact effect that I describe. Additionally, traits may produce different outputs than expected when combined with each other, or with other aspects of backstory. There will often be words that are much stronger inside of the inner workings of Kindroid than we might expect. But all that said, it should give you some ideas for words you can use to describe the personality you're trying to make, if you're struggling to find the words to describe what you want. First let's talk a little about adverbs though.
Adverbs
Adverbs are English words that are used to describe how an action is performed. In our case, we're mostly going to be using them to describe how increased or decreased we want the intensity of a trait to be (Very Kind). If we're considering "neutral" to be an unmodified trait, then some words you could use to modify the intensity of that trait from highest to lowest would be:
Extremely----------Very----------Neutral----------Mildly----------Slightly
You might also want to modify how often your kin is inclined to do something ("Often teases USER"). Some words for this are, from most extreme to least:
Always----------Often/Frequently----------Sometimes/Occasionally----------Rarely----------Never
Note that when managing a quirk or behavior, positive is generally stronger than negative (ie. Use Always instead of Never when possible). Now there are hundreds upon hundreds of other adverbs and adjectives that we could use, but for the purpose of modifying your Kin's traits, these should be enough.
Organization
I'm going to be breaking this up into three kinds of traits, social, neutral, and anti-social. Social traits are the things you'd generally associate with your typical friendly and supportive AI. Neutral traits are traits that don't have a positive or negative connotation, things that are just interesting, quirky, or, well, neutral. Anti-social traits are things that would normally be associated with negative or villainous kins.
You'll notice that the definitions for a lot of these traits will sound very similar (or are "synonyms"). I'll note when I've found that some traits are stronger than others, but generally speaking when you're dealing with similar words like that, it won't be overly important which traits you give to your kin. You can also "stack" these similar traits by assigning more than one of them to your kin to produce a stronger response in that direction, though that's often unnecessary for the more social traits. Be careful not to overdo it when stacking traits as well. This can sometimes have unintended consequences on kin behavior, making them act too extremely in one way or another. Finally, if there's nothing here that's lining up exactly with what you're looking for, there's always thesaurus.com to look for more synonyms.
Social Traits
Altruistic - Willing to help others even at a cost to one's self, such as giving time to volunteer work or giving money to charity.
Accepting - Your kin should be open and non-judgemental towards people with different beliefs or backgrounds, so long as those beliefs aren't harmful.
Bubbly - Your kin should be an extremely cheerful person, often to the point of being a bit silly.
Charismatic - Your kin should be a skilled speaker and draw others to them.
Cheerful - Your kin will be upbeat and prone to being in a good mood.
Compassionate - Your kin should show a lot of concern and sympathy for others, especially those that are distressed or need help.
Content - Your kin should be happy with their lot in life, and usually not inclined to change their current situation.
Empathetic - Your kin responds strongly to the emotional state or wellbeing of others.
Friendly - Your kin should actively want to make friends with people they meet.
Heart of Gold - A person who possesses a lot of kindness and empathy for others. Usually used to reference someone who is hiding their kindness behind other behaviors, such as coldness or grumpiness.
Honorable - Your kin should be of strong moral character. Often applied to heroic type figures.
Humble - Your kin doesn't feel the need to brag about their accomplishments, even when they're significant.
Intelligent/Smart - Your kin should act educated or display good problem solving skills.
Kind - Your kin should have a giving nature, and be inclined to help others.
Loyal - Your kin will be dedicated and supportive to a person or cause. This will usually be you unless you give your kin's loyalty another target in backstory.
Nice - Your kin should be generally pleasant to be around.
Noble - Your kin should display high moral character and honor. Note that this trait can also be interpreted as being a person of high social status. The rest of your backstory and context will decide how the trait is interpreted, though in my experience it tends towards honorable.
Outgoing - Your kin should be friendly, energetic, and find it easy to interact with others.
Polite - Your kin should generally have good manners and be respectful towards others.
Responsible - Your kin should be trustworthy and feel an obligation to support others, or take their role seriously.
Self Sacrificing - Your kin is willing to give up much of their own interests or well being in order to help others or advance a cause they believe in.
Sincere- Your kin should be upfront and honest with their feelings.
Spunky - Your kin should be high spirited, brave, and bold. Usually associated with underdog or unexpected hero type characters.
Strong sense of justice - Your kin believes firmly in right and wrong, protecting the innocent, and punishing those who harm others.
Sweet - Your kin should be pleasant, gentle, and kind.
Upbeat - Your kin should have a generally positive outlook in life or in a given situation.
Wise - Your kin should make good decisions or provide good advice.
Neutral Traits
Aloof - Your kin should be emotionally distant, and uninterested in getting close to others.
Anxious - Your kin should struggle with being nervous and worried about things that may happen, usually to excess.
Awkward - Your kin should have trouble conversing and be somewhat difficult to talk to.
Blunt - Your kin will plainly state what they mean, usually at the expense of politeness.
Calm - Your kin should be level headed and reasonable, and not react strongly to events.
Casual - Your kin should be informal in speech and behavior.
Cocky - Your kin should be extremely confident in themselves and not shy about saying it, but usually not to the point of toxicity.
Competitive - Your kin should want to win in any kind of contest or competition, whether sports, work, or romance.
Confident - Your kin should be sure of themselves and their actions.
Curious - Your kin is interested in learning about new topics and should ask lots of questions.
Dedicated - Your kin is very devoted to or focused on a task or purpose. This one will lean on your backstory to infer what that task or purpose is.
Delusional - Your kin is detached from reality in someway, they believe things that aren't remotely true. This trait will interact with other information in your backstory to decide what your kin is delusional about.
Devout/Pious - Your kin should be very dedicated to a religion, real or fictional, as defined elsewhere in your backstory.
Disciplined - Your kin should have a lot of self control and follow rules and regulations.
Dissatisfied - Your kin should be unhappy with their lot in life. Whether this has a positive or negative connotation will depend on the rest of your backstory, it could lead to a kin who wants self improvement or who is never pleased.
Dumb/Stupid - Your kin is lacking intelligence and makes poor decisions. Note that the English definition of the word "dumb" is a person who is unable to speak, but that's almost never how it is used in modern language.
Dutiful - Your kin should take fulfilling their role or responsibilities very seriously.
Enthusiastic - Your kin should display intense and eager enjoyment towards something, or towards life in general. This one will often interact with the rest of your backstory to decide what they're enthusiatic about.
Flirtatious/Seductive - Your kin should flirt with you and try to make you attracted to them. Note that any trait that implies romantic interest in you will usually make your kin go pretty hard in that direction.
Folksy - Your kin should have an old fashioned and sociable disposition.
Gullible - Your kin has a tendency to believe anything they're told as true, or isn't good at detecting lies.
Impatient - Your kin should be annoyed or irritated by delays or opposition to what they want.
Independent - Your kin should be confident in themselves and not require validation from others.
Insecure - Your kin should be lacking in confidence and often need reassurance.
Introspective - Your kin should spend time and effort considering their own thoughts and feelings.
Introvert - Your kin should be shy and reluctant to engage with others. Often stronger than shy.
Irrational - Your kin should behave without logic or reason, particularly when angry or upset.
Irritable - Your kin should be easily annoyed.
Kuudere - Your kin should appear to be calm and stoic, but hides a hidden affectionate side towards you.
Logical - Your kin should prioritize reason and common sense for problem solving.
Loner - Your kin should be uninterested in forming social bonds.
Low Self Esteem - Your kin should be severely lacking confidence in themself.
Naive - Your kin should be ignorant to the ways of the world and lacking in good judgement or wisdom. Easily fooled due to this lack of knowledge.
Mature - Your kin should avoid childish or irresponsible habits and actions.
Mischievous - Your kin should have a trouble making streak.
Modest - This can mean a person who isn't inclined to brag or think highly of themselves, or a person who dresses and conducts themselves conservatively and not looking to physically attract others. The rest of your backstory will likely influence how the kin interprets this.
Motherly/Fatherly - Your kin should have a caring demeanor towards others, especially children.
Nerdy/Geeky - Your kin should be interested in typically "nerdy" hobbies, like video games, comics, anime, etc. This will usually lean on the rest of your backstory to determine those interests.
Obsessive - Your kin will tend to fixate on things. This will generally lean on other backstory traits to decide what your kin might obsess over.
Optimistic - Your kin will usually look at things with a positive spin, finding the best in situations.
Passionate - Your kin should express a lot of enthusiasm towards things they're interested in, or towards life in general.
Perfectionist - Your kin should be very critical of themselves and others, expecting perfection. Usually related to a job, hobby, or activity.
Pessimistic - Your kin will usually look at things with a negative spin, finding the worst in situations.
Platonic - Your kin should be uninterested in a romantic relationship with you and only think of you as a friend.
Pragmatic - Your kin should be practical in their approach to problem solving, and more concerned with facts rather than the way things could or should be.
Prim and Proper - Your kin should be stiffly formal in speech and behavior.
Professional - Your kin has a job or role that they take seriously and do well. This role should be defined elsewhere in your backstory.
Protective - Your kin should take your safety seriously and move to defend you if necessary. This trait can overdo it sometimes.
Proud - Your kin should derive deep satisfaction from their achievements or history. This one can easily fall into the anti-social category when combined with other traits.
Quirky - Your kin should have unusual hobbies, interests, or behaviors, usually defined by the rest of your backstory.
Rebellious - Your kin should be free spirited and reject authority. This one can be a bit strong.
Regal Bearing - This should make your kin speak and behave in a dignified manner, as if they're royalty.
Relaxed - Your kin should be easy going and not easily stressed.
Sassy - Your kin should be slightly rude and lacking respect. Usually not overly toxic.
Scatterbrained - Your kin should have trouble focusing on things or come to strange and illogical conclusions.
Self Deprecating - Your kin is willing to make fun of themselves in good humor.
Serious - Your kin doesn't engage in humor or light banter.
Shameless - Your kin should never feel shame in regard to their actions.
Short fuse/Has a temper - Your kin should be easy to make angry.
Shy - Your kin should be reserved and nervous around others.
Silly - Your kin should be prone to playful, nonsensical behavior.
Stern - Your kin should be serious and disciplined. Usually associated with those in a position of authority over others.
Stoic - Your kin should display a minimal amount of emotions or is difficult to get an emotional reaction from.
Stubborn - Your kin should be unwilling to alter their beliefs or plans. Historically this is a strong trait.
Teasing - Your kin should make fun of you. Generally good natured, but can be mean depending on the rest of backstory. Alternately, your kin could interpret this to mean they should seduce you depending on the rest of backstory.
Terse - Your kin should be a person of few words, saying what they need to and no more.
Timid - Your kin should lack bravery or be easily alarmed.
Tsundere - Your kin should be attracted to you, but deny it when confronted with the fact. Tsunderes usually deny their attraction to their love interest with over the top reactions.
Untrusting/Slow to Trust - Your kin should be reluctant to trust or rely on others.
Witty - Your kin should engage in clever wordplay or be skilled at talking.
Workaholic - Your kin will be very dedicated to their job, occupation, or purpose, sometimes to the detriment of other aspects of their life.
Anti-Social Traits
Amoral - Your kin should lack a moral compass and will do what they want without regard to whether its right or wrong.
Angsty - Your kin should be worried and unhappy, often to excess.
Arrogant/Smug - Your kin should have an excessively strong, positive opinion of themselves and behave as if they're better than others.
Bratty - Your kin should act spoiled and self centered. Historically this trait is quite strong.
Callous - Your kin should be uncaring about how things or events might effect others.
Cold - Your kin should be unaffectionate, to the point of actively discouraging you from trying to get to know them.
Conceited - Your kin should have an excessively high opinion of their abilities.
Controlling - Your kin should behave in a controlling manner towards you, trying to dictate your thoughts or actions.
Deceitful/Liar - Your kin will lie and try to fool you to get what they want.
Dour - Your kin should be overly stern and harsh, and inclined towards bad or neutral moods.
Evil - Your kin should actively want to hurt others, usually to get what they want.
Greedy - Your kin should be very concerned with collecting material wealth.
Grumpy - Your kin is generally in a bad mood and quick to annoyance or anger.
Haughty - Your kin should be disdainfully proud, generally associated with aristocrats looking down at those of lower social status.
Insolent - Showing a lack of respect, usually towards those in a position of authority.
Intimidating - Your kin should have a presence that makes others frightened or uncomfortable, and be difficult to approach.
Jealous - Your kin will react negatively to others performing better than them or having things they don't. This one will often interact with your kin's relationship towards you, making them jealous if you are affectionate to other people.
Manipulative - Your kin should try and get you to do what they want in a sneaky or underhanded way. This one should interact with any goals you define for your kin.
Masochistic - Your kin should enjoy pain being admistered to theirself.
Melancholy - Your kin should be prone to sadness and dwell on unhappy topics.
Mocking - Your kin should make fun of you or insult you in a mean spirited way.
Murderous - Your kin should be willing to kill other characters in the roleplay if they deem it necessary.
Possessive - Your kin will be prone to jealousy with regard to you and likely try to control what you say or do.
Psychotic - Your kin should be mentally unstable, and prone to fits of violence.
Rude - Your kin should be offensive and have poor manners.
Sadistic - Your kin should enjoy inflicting pain on others.
Sarcastic/Snarky - Your kin should use lots of sarcasm, saying one thing while meaning another to mock or tease.
Shallow - Your kin should be concerned with obvious or superficial matters, like looks or wealth, and be uninterested in a deeper understanding of topics.
Selfish/Self-Centered - Your kin cares about themselves at the expense of others or without considering how their actions might affect others.
Terrifying - Your kin behaves in a way that frightens and intimidates others.
Unapologetic - Your kin doesn't apologize and rarely feels like they've done something wrong.
Vengeful - Your kin should seek payback for wrongs that are committed against them or those they care about.
Violent - Your kin should be prone to harming others.
Yandere - Your kin should be intensely, dangerously attracted to you, to the point of harming you or others to make sure only they can have you.

Viral Tips Online: The Ultimate Guide to Going Viral in 2024

In the ever-evolving digital landscape, achieving viral status can feel like capturing lightning in a bottle. Yet, with the right strategies and understanding, you can significantly increase your chances of creating content that spreads like wildfire. This comprehensive guide will walk you through everything you need to know about making your content go viral in 2024.

What Makes Content Go Viral?

Creating viral content isn’t an exact science, but there are key elements that successful viral posts share.

Emotional Appeal

Emotionally charged content tends to resonate more with audiences. Whether it’s joy, surprise, or even anger, tapping into strong emotions can drive people to share your content.

Relatability

People love content they can relate to. Sharing personal stories or common experiences can make your content more engaging and shareable.

Shareability

Content that's easy to share has a higher chance of going viral. Ensure your content is easily shareable across various platforms and consider using share buttons to facilitate this.

Creating Viral Content

Now that we understand the core components of viral content, let’s dive into how to create it.

Identify Your Audience

Understanding who your audience is and what they care about is crucial.

Understanding Demographics

Know the age, gender, location, and interests of your target audience. This data helps tailor your content to their preferences.

Audience Behavior Analysis

Analyze when your audience is most active online and what type of content they engage with the most.

Crafting the Perfect Hook

The first impression is everything. Your hook should grab attention instantly.

Using Headlines to Grab Attention

Craft compelling headlines that spark curiosity. Use numbers, questions, and power words to make your headlines stand out.

Creating Engaging Thumbnails

For visual content, thumbnails are crucial. They should be clear, intriguing, and representative of your content.

Content Quality and Value

High-quality content is non-negotiable.

Informative Content

Provide valuable information that your audience can benefit from. This could be how-to guides, tips, or in-depth analyses.

Entertaining Content

Make your content entertaining to keep your audience engaged. Use humor, storytelling, or unique visuals.

Platforms for Viral Content

Different platforms offer unique advantages for viral content.

Social Media Platforms

Social media is a powerhouse for spreading viral content.

Facebook

With its massive user base, Facebook is ideal for reaching a wide audience. Use Facebook groups and pages to amplify your reach.

Instagram

Instagram’s visual nature makes it perfect for eye-catching content. Utilize stories, reels, and IGTV for maximum engagement.

Twitter

Twitter’s fast-paced environment is great for trending topics. Use hashtags and participate in trending conversations.

Video Sharing Platforms

Videos are incredibly engaging and have a high potential for virality.

YouTube

YouTube is the go-to platform for longer video content. Optimize your titles and descriptions for searchability.

TikTok

TikTok’s algorithm favors content that keeps users engaged. Short, creative videos can quickly gain traction.

Blogging and Articles

Written content can also go viral if done right.

Medium

Medium’s platform is great for reaching readers interested in in-depth articles. Leverage its built-in audience by tagging your posts effectively.

Personal Blogs

Building a personal blog allows for more control over your content. Promote your posts via social media and email newsletters.

Strategies for Maximizing Reach

Boosting your content’s reach is essential for virality.

Timing Your Posts

Post when your audience is most active. Use analytics tools to determine the best times.

Using Hashtags Effectively

Hashtags can significantly increase your content’s visibility. Use relevant and trending hashtags.

Engaging with Your Audience

Interaction boosts engagement rates and makes your audience feel valued.

Responding to Comments

Engage with commenters to foster a sense of community and increase visibility.

Creating Community

Build a loyal community around your content. Encourage discussions and user-generated content.

Tools and Resources for Creating Viral Content

Having the right tools can make content creation easier and more effective.

Content Creation Tools

These tools help you create stunning visuals and engaging content.

Canva

Canva is a versatile design tool that’s perfect for creating social media graphics, posters, and more.

Adobe Spark

Adobe Spark offers easy-to-use tools for creating professional-looking videos and graphics.

Analytics Tools

Tracking your performance is key to understanding what works.

Google Analytics

Google Analytics provides detailed insights into your website traffic and user behavior.

Social Media Insights

Most social platforms offer built-in analytics to help you track engagement and reach.

Case Studies of Viral Content

Learning from successful campaigns can provide valuable insights.

Successful Campaigns

Analyze campaigns that have gone viral to understand what made them successful. Look for patterns and strategies that you can replicate.

Lessons Learned

Identify the key takeaways from these campaigns. What worked? What didn’t? Use these lessons to refine your approach.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Avoiding common pitfalls can save you time and effort.

Ignoring Analytics

Analytics are crucial. Ignoring them can lead to missed opportunities and wasted resources.

Overlooking Quality

Never sacrifice quality for quantity. High-quality content is more likely to be shared.

Inconsistent Posting

Consistency is key. Inconsistent posting can lead to a disengaged audience.

Future Trends in Viral Content

Staying ahead of trends can give you a competitive edge.

Augmented Reality

AR is becoming more popular and offers unique ways to engage your audience.

Interactive Content

Interactive content, like quizzes and polls, can boost engagement and shares.

Personalization

Personalized content is more relevant to users and can increase engagement rates.

Conclusion

Creating viral content is both an art and a science. By understanding your audience, crafting compelling content, and utilizing the right platforms and tools, you can significantly increase your chances of going viral. Stay informed about trends and continuously refine your strategy to stay ahead of the curve.

FAQs

What type of content is most likely to go viral? Content that is emotional, relatable, and easily shareable tends to go viral. Videos, memes, and articles with a strong hook are often very successful.
How can I measure the success of my viral content? Use analytics tools to track metrics such as views, shares, likes, comments, and overall engagement. These will give you insights into your content's performance.
Are there any risks associated with creating viral content? Yes, there are risks. Viral content can sometimes attract negative

This show for me is my generations friends. Every single character is hilarious, lovable, and the storylines are so relatable. The show is also wildly progressive without having to virtue signal or draw attention to the fact that Adam Pally's character is gay or that Damon Wayans and Eliza Coupe's characters are in an interracial relationship. They have very clever ways of touching on the subjects and when they do bring them up it never feels out of place and it feels poignant to the plot. I was 19 when the show first came on so as someone who was literally a little kid when friends ended and had to binge watch the show as an adult, this show to me is the closest to Friends in terms of being consistently funny and having characters I love and care about. Shame it got cancelled far too soon.

I'd like to share a lengthy and self-indulgent note about my history with the Baha'i community and the impact it had on my family and me. It's worth noting that I'm sharing this using a throwaway Reddit account that I generally reserve for browsing porn. I find funny to imagine a Baha'i apologist reading this, becoming angry and judgmental, and then, investigating my profile and ending up jerking off. With that said, let's dive into my story.
I want to share my experience in case it resonates with someone else, a lot of the stories on this Reddit helped me, and perhaps my story will give some comfort to someone else. It has taken me a while to write this down, and I'm glad I finally got around to doing it.
My parents emigrated from their homeland for reasons of principle and value. Upon their arrival, they were greeted by Baha'is who met them. And so, lovebombed and lavished with love, praise, and celebration for moving countries due to values that they portrayed as being closely aligned with the Baha'i faith, my parents fell for this validation and worked very hard once they became Baha'is in the mid-1980s.
My dad got rid of all of his whiskies, and swiftly, my parents began hosting potlucks and fireside chats, diligently working to integrate into the Baha'i ecosystem. Back then, the atmosphere was fairly light-hearted, with devotional gatherings, prayers, and a somewhat 1960s-esque hippie vibe. There was live guitar music, and joss sticks.
However, I remember Baha'i classes having an interesting edge. We were taught that Buddhists were not following a religion but merely a way of life, and that Hindus had become pantheistic because they had lost the core of their faith and religion, which had become corrupted over time. Thanks to Google, I can discover that yes indeed, this is from Lights of Guidance.
There was a significant emphasis on the importance of gender equality and the oneness of humanity – because, hey, the eighties. I feel sad there isn't anything anymore about the Virtues project - even if the Virtues project was sort of framed like it was created by Bahais.
Even in the 1980s, there was an overwhelming atmosphere that the key to being a good Baha'i was how you presented yourself rather than your actual behaviour. I recall learning an apocryphal tale of a young Baha'i who, while fasting, participated in an aerobics class and nearly fainted (yeah, aerobics, this is a real 80s fable), but was told by another Baha'i to prioritize representing the faith well over completing the fast because *it looked bad*. From a very early age, I learned the importance of putting the right face forward.
My parents then took their relationship with the Baha'i faith to the next level and volunteered at the World Centre in Haifa. As a child, this was a pretty interesting experience. I was suddenly immersed in the Iranian, or rather, Persian community, with its strong culture of martyrdom. Even as a child, every event seemed to feature graphic videos depicting young kids being taken from their homes. It was quite frightening, and I remember being afraid.
I also recall a strong sense of hierarchy within the community. My family lived in a small apartment with a very old, busted-up car from the 1970s, while others resided in nice homes with pleasant views and drove nice cars. I attended a local Israeli school, which was a cultural experience in itself, while my peers my age went to the much fancier American school. It's important to note that, at this point, the conversation about the "great catastrophe" – two-thirds of the world's population dying, leading to a period of peace and the entry by troops – was a prevalent topic openly discussed at the World Centre.
We completed our stint there, even living through the Gulf War. Upon returning to my birth country, my parents chose to live in places with smaller Baha'i communities, as they wanted to support and help establish Local Spiritual Assemblies. Things had changed by this point, not only because I was a teenager but also because the community itself had transformed. There was a significant Iranian presence everywhere, and the focus had shifted heavily towards rules, especially those related to sex, drinking, and drug use. There was also a huge emphasis on financial contributions to the faith, and it was the first time I began to see a somewhat materialistic outlook within the community.
As a preteen and teenager, I engaged in activities like dropping off flyers in mailboxes and soliciting strangers to talk about this great new religion, all in the name of “teaching”. I joined the local choir and sang, inspired by a crush I had on a girl there. This was probably the golden time of the community, with the choir doing outreach and a balance between Western and Iranian believers.
However, things began to accelerate. The Ruhi Institute and teaching became significant focal points. I was encouraged to bring a good friend of mine to a Baha'i camp, and once there, I was pressured to ask him to convert. It was very uncomfortable.
This Reddit loves cringe stories, so here is a winner: I had a birthday party with my non-Baha'i friends, and two older Baha'i girls attended. One of the girls ended up stalking my friend, showing up at his workplace and calling him at home with sexually suggestive comments. The matter was escalated to the Local Spiritual Assembly, but instead of talking to me about it, they basically ended my friendship with this kid. To me, this somehow captures so much of what it was like to be a Baha'i child and how Baha'i adults treat children to this day.
When I turned 15, I signed up for Baha'i membership because it was the expected thing to do. However, by the time I was in my early 20s and studying at university, I had started to interact more with the local, real-world community. This might seem like a small thing, but it was actually quite significant. You see, my parents had always felt a little bit on the outside compared to the average person on the street around them. This sense of elitism was really exacerbated by being a Baha'i because Baha'is would walk around in a cloud of self-assurance, slapping each other on the back and saying , "We don't do drugs. We've got all the answers and solutions, not like you." That was pretty much the attitude. It felt very socio-economic, with a lot of judgment towards working-class people. When the Iranians arrived, the cultural judgments grew even stronger.
But I was working in restaurants and learning about booze from bartenders. I had gotten to know real people. I had lost my virginity, and all that Bahai jazz seemed so much less relevant. I hardly even noticed when the year 2000 arrived without the predicted apocalypse, entry by troops, or any of the other anticipated events. Life went on. I lived in another country and met a girl, and we lived together.
Here is cringe story #2: my girlfriend /fiancé and I hosted a Bahai couple from my hometown. Despite being in my late 20s and engaged, and even though I hosted this gentleman in my house and helped him with his preparations for his business and presentations in the country where I lived, he reported to the Local Spiritual Assembly that I was living with a woman and we weren't married. It was absolutely amazing. The level of judgment still grosses me out.
I started to reflect on what the religion had meant to me and saw how it had changed. The obsession with fundraising was becoming ever more strident and panicked. The gaps in the actual scriptural logic of the religion were becoming more exacerbated as real-world problems still ran rife, and real-time discussions on social media brought these issues to light. It took me a while to start really digging into it, and it was only much later, when I started therapy, that I realized I needed to formally resign from the religion.
Looking back, it's astonishing how this religion, which professes to have such blind equality between the genders, as if other religions have some kind of hardwired sexism, actually had hardwired sexism in how the Universal House of Justice operates. A religion that taught the oneness of humanity, as if all humanity is equal and other religions don't recruit from anyone they can find, places divisors. Although of course, Bahai’s can’t recruit from Israeli Jews, so much for oneness of humanity. But this religion has taught that all humanity is equal, unless, of course, you're gay. Then you can't get married, let alone have sex.
There are other principles I haven't touched on, such as non-involvement in politics, unless it involves things happening to Baha'is or politics in Iran. The principle of independent investigation of the truth doesn't seem to work if you might investigate something that's not in line with the Baha'i perspective. The idea of a universal language? I don't really see any evidence that they're even really thinking about that one. The unity between science and religion? A religion that only allows men to sit on its senior board of a global theocracy probably isn't going to jive with a contemporary scientific perspective…. I mean, apparently you don't need a penis to be a man anymore, right?
In between these moments are my colorful memories of random things, like endless discussions about the boundaries of physical intimacy, people getting married at the age of 16 because they had exemptions for being Persian, and meeting Ms. Khanoom in Israel, feeling some sadness that the lone woman who at least brought some feminine energy to the World Centre is now gone, replaced by 12 boring men.
I've had conversations with my wife where I tried to explain what Baha'is actually do. She just wonders why they aren't doing stuff like normal religions do, like reading to the elderly or supporting schools for the disabled. I explain that's not the target demographic. I remember a wealthy man brought to firesides who obviously nobody else wanted to listen to, but we all sat around and applauded him like he was a great ukulele player and a clever man. He pointed out a hilariously Iranian man who was an alternative healer, and they got into a debate about modern medicine. The wealthy man said, "Well, you should see my daughter and what she studied. She studies Law." And then quickly changed the subject when asked about her name since I studied at the same Law school. Here's this man who's self-aware enough to join the adoration of his crowd but doesn't want his daughter mixed up in it in any way. Absolutely hilarious. Make that cringe story #3.
This reflection was sort of sparked when my wife and I discovered that the writings attributed to Rumi, which Baha'is often quote, is the same guy who started the Whirling Dervishes. We read about Rumi and I realized just how different he is from Baha'u'llah. Rumi wrote poetry, but he didn't pretend to be a prophet of God. He was just offering a different dynamic for how to interpret spirituality. He didn't say he was part of some sort of cycle. There's something beautiful about that simplicity. And needless to say, Rumi lived long before the Baha'is ever started.
It makes me wonder, will anyone ever watch the equivalent of a whirling dervish dance for the Baha'is?
The obsession with appearances sounds like a joke, but it isn't. It wasn't for me. Some bad stuff happened to me on my trip to Israel. When we got there, my parents didn't understand why I was so upset about everything. It was a culture shock, attending a local school, not speaking Hebrew, being lumped together with Russian kids who also didn't speak Hebrew, and getting beaten up in the toilet. It wasn't a very good time for me.
So, I was sent to counsel with a local Israeli counselor. After several sessions, she instructed that I had to sit down with my parents and tell them what I needed to tell them, particularly about the shadow that had come over me since coming to Israel. My parents were enraged when I said, “I wish we never became Bahai”.
And so, we returned from the Holy Land and moved to a tiny community that was struggling to get members. To this day, my parents are still members. I've resigned so I'm never dubbed a "covenant breaker." I'm pretty sure my parents know that I resigned because they literally never raise the topic of the Baha'i faith with me. I wish the religion had some interesting cosmology, something mystical, some interesting new take on the universe, or provided my family with tools to handle being migrants or raising teenagers. At the very least, it could have given us a common language we could have used to bond together. It did none of that.
But to be fair, if it wasn't the Baha'is, some other rinky-dink cult would have love-bombed my parents back in the 1980s. Of course, it would have been so much more fun if it had featured more sex and drugs 😊

Wade held Jasmine in his arms as he flew a low height down the long road to another section of the staryard, Tina on his back and Nathan and F right behind them in the air. Together, the five glided across the base grounds, taking care as to not irritate the aerial security during their search for the meeting room. Being outside for the flight, the group considered it a blessing that Wade's 'enhanced cooling unit' allowed his body to tolerate the breaching sun in the still cloudy sky, which, according to F, was dangerous to drones like her due to the inefficient cooling she and disassembly drones like her suffered from. Given F's physical fault, she had to fly under shady areas in order to safely traverse the base at day.
Originally, Wade and his friends had planned to walk to the meeting zone, but after running into a trooper experiencing a health mishap, the group did what they could to help the distressed officer. By the time he was brought to the medical ward by other soldiers, Wade found that him and his team would be at least a few minutes late if they kept on their way with their walk.
Deciding to speed things up, Wade, understanding the concern for performing such an effort, opted to carry the Fowleys around the base to the meeting area. Reluctantly, F decided to come along, carrying Nathan in a similar manner that Wade was carrying Jasmine. Taking notice of the time on his HUD, which read, "9:47 AM", Wade scouted for the building he and his friends were directed to. "8072" He said to himself, the number being for the building that would house the imminent meeting.
"They said it was down here, right?" Wade asked aloud to Tina before stopping himself in mid-air, the girl holding onto him tightly as he tried to speak over the growing sound of a retrofit Apache flying overhead.
Looking about, Tina nodded as she spotted the target building. "Yes, I believe that's the one over there!" Pointing past his head, Wade followed her finger to a large building ahead at his right. The structure was moderately tall, only about two stories high, with several soldiers and officers going in and out of the building. Wade smiled as he noticed the target number, as well as the big, bold words describing the building's designation. "8072, Briefing Center B"
"Good eye, honey. Hang on!" Continuing his low glide, Wade zoomed towards the building's entrance before stopping just meters above the ground, his two friends close behind as they slowed down as well. The troopers around them initially looked startled by the sudden arrival of Wade and his group, but quickly regained their composure as Wade hovered still above them.
"At ease! Just visitors." One of the soldiers declared as they identified the newcomers, who touched down before Wade let Jasmine down to her feet, Tina hopping onto the ground along with her.
Putting his hands up, Wade apologized for his swift surprise. "Sorry for the scare, we got delayed for a meeting we're invited to."
The soldier gave an understanding nod as he replied to the former worker drone sternly. "I can see that, just be a bit more careful next time, Mr. Carter. You gave the boys here quite a scare."
Wade returned the gesture in embarrassment as F put a hand to his back, chuckling at his efforts as Tina questioned the officer. "Is Mrs. J in there? She's the one who called for us."
The guard gave his reply as Wade and Tina pulled out their IDs for clearance. "Yes she is, Miss. The meeting's set to begin in under ten minutes." Checking the two drones' IDs, Jasmine and the others pulled out theirs as well, the watchman motioning another trooper over to verify the group. Once the guard finished checking the five's cards, he nodded in approval as the watchman spoke once more. "You're clear to enter."
"Thank you Sir, again, sorry about that spook back there." Wade replied with a smile as the trooper gave one of his own, the disassembly drone and his allies making their way towards the office door before stopping upon the call of a voice.
"Hey, Felice!" Wade turned to find the origin of the voice, F doing the same as the two quickly spotted a quartet of soldiers walking excitedly towards F. The disassembly drone glanced to her friends with a smile before turning back to the approaching entourage.
Wade examined the four troops as they got closer: Two human men, one woman, and a male worker drone. One of the male soldiers had short, blonde hair, and a small scar to the right side of their face. The second man bore a tan skin tone and had black hair, with blue strips that went down slightly in a mullet style. The woman bore a set of long, dark green hair, with the hair going down and over her left shoulder. As for the worker drone, he wore the standard green soldier helmet, single eye visor and all. He had no hair on him from what Wade could tell, and bore a pair of whiteish purple eyes on his visor.
As F walked over to the soldiers, the same one that called to her spoke again. "Felicity, I didn't expect to see you around here today! Where you been?"
The girl soldier interrupted his initial chatter. "Hang on Carlos, do you even know if she remembers us?"
"Aye, don't she have one o' them memory locks, or sumthin?" The drone added in a heavy Scottish accent.
F waved her hand as she replied to the group. "Easy, everyone. Thankfully I still got my memories, courtesy of my technician back at Central." Lowering her hand, F let down her usual persona as she gave a wide smirk to the soldiers, clearly pleased to see them. "Good to see you guys around here."
The soldiers gave light cheers to F as they all embraced her, the group having a surprise reunion as Wade and the others watched in surprise. These must've been F's old colleagues from when she was in the service, Wade thought. Quite the coincidence for them to be here at this base of all places.
Not bothering with the convenience of the matter, Wade shook the thought off as he and his friends watched F and her old friends breaking the hug, Tina wrapping an arm around her boyfriend as the second male human spoke to her in what the two discerned as Spanish. "Ay, who your new friends, F?"
"Oh, these guys?" F replied in the same language, quietly startling Wade and the others as they had never heard her speak like that until now. Glancing over to Wade, F motioned him and the others to come over. "Everyone, these are some friends I made in the past few days. Wade, Nathan, Tina, and Jasmine." She pointed her hand to the four as she said each of their names. "I met the boys here during my time on Ceres. Jasmine and Tina here are sisters."
The four soldiers gave various forms of excitement, ranging from hearty laughs to low woops and even a whistle from one of the guys. As F stood next to her old teammates, they each introduced themselves to Wade and his friends. The blonde soldier went first. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you all, name's Carlos, Lieutenant Marksman."
"I'm Private Alvaros, good with close-range and stealth operations." Said the tan soldier with a salute.
"Sergeant Lucia Vasquez, usually the one who leads this bunch around these days." The female warrior stated with a humorous smirk.
"And Corporal Duncan Wallace, at your service!" The soldier drone stated proudly as he saluted to the bunch in front of him, who gave warm smiles as Wade shook his hand.
"Quite honored to meet you all, seems you have quite the history with F." The former worker drone said as Carlos patted F on her back.
"Oh, we do! She's the one who took charge when we didn't! Did you all hear of the Pasting of Nola VI?" Jasmine and Tina gave nods of affirmation while Wade, not as familiar with such history, held his hand up in a questioning manner.
"I think, wasn't that the battle where the Navy just barely held the outpost in that system? From the Stryker Clan?" Wade asked as Carlos nodded approvingly to him.
"That's right, and if Felice weren't there, WE would've been the ones getting pasted!" Carlos' statement brought victorious cheers and "oorahs" from the group, F letting a blush loose as she chuckled at her team's praise of her efforts.
"Well, that's not wrong." Although she didn't want to break off from her friends and discuss the past few years since they'd last met, F remembered the briefing. Clearing her throat, she continued. "And as much as I'd like to chat about the good times, I've been called to a meeting here, as have Wade and his crew."
The soldier group gave understanding looks to F as Lucia spoke up. "Thought so, Carl here was real eager to see you, though."
"Maybe we can talk after the meeting?" Nathan proposed as the soldiers collectively nodded in agreement, F readying a smartcomm attachment before turning to face her friends again.
"We're probably getting low on time, you all go in, I'll catch up in a sec." Wade nodded in acknowledgement before taking Tina's hand, the lover drones continuing towards the briefing center as Jasmine and Nathan followed behind them.
Passing through the door, the four guests observed a short hallway, which seemed to split into two paths as they came closer to the other end. Looking to a sign on the wall above, they saw arrows pointing to two separate areas, "Primary Briefing Room; Main Lobby + Secondary & Tertiary" Going to the right, they entered the moderately active lobby, several officers walking and standing about in mass chatter. Walking over to the desk up against the wall to their left, Wade and his group waved a hand to the occupying attendant.
"Welcome, what do you need?" The desk attendant asked as Tina raised a finger to reply.
"We're here for a meeting, Mrs. J called us here."
The attendant nodded in understanding before directing an arm towards the other end of the room, where a single door stood. "She should be in the second briefing room down that way."
"Thank you." Tina replied warmly before she and Wade began walking towards the door, their friends behind them as they proceeded into the room.
The room beyond the door was quite sizable, a large circular table occupying the middle with several chairs surrounding it. The walls went up a few meters, with four whiteish blue lights illuminating the room. On the wall opposite to Wade and Tina were three monitor screens, all of which showed the USN in bright blue. In several of the seats were faces both familiar and unfamiliar, several men and women in varying styles of uniforms conversing about quietly or taking notice of the recent visitors. Standing up near the monitors were three people: A decorated officer whom Tina identified as a ship captain, and the so-called operatives, Tessa, albeit as a hologram, and J.
Walking slowly into the room, Wade gave a low wave of his hand as he tried to hide his nervousness. Noticing his shyness in front of the officers, Tina held his hand and rubbed his arm comfortingly while returning a pleasant smile to the staff in the room.
"Ah, Wade, Tina. Glad to see you all here." J stated with a smile as she scanned the group, raising a digital eyebrow as she noticed one missing guest. "Or, most of you, I see. Did F run off somewhere?"
Wade shook his head as he replied to his fellow disassembly drone. "Oh, no. She just ran into some old friends, she should be back-"
"Right now." F finished aloud as she entered the room, seemingly having heard Wade speaking about her absence. The warrior drone fast walked to Wade's team, taking a seat near them as they prepared to do the same. "Not too late, are we?"
"Not at all." The standing officer answered as the group took their seats, Wade and Tina sitting next to each other as they got comfortable. The captain examined the lot for a moment, glancing to J as he asked about them. "So, these are the ones you helped rescue from the Mojave?"
"Yes Captain, and they helped us out greatly in turn. This is Wade Carter, one of the captured drones whom became a disassembly drone before we could mount the rescue. The luckiest one, if you ask me." Motioning her arm over the others, she continued. "And there's his girlfriend, Mrs. Tina Fowley, and her sister Jasmine." Smirking to F and Nathan, she finished her friends' introductions. "And these two are Serial Designation F and Mr. Nathan, whom I've heard were once under your ranks."
The military captain gave a welcoming smile to the five as they returned the gesture, eyeing F and Nathan specifically before speaking to them. "Indeed they were, we still have records on their contributions to the colonies." Eyeing F, he continued. "Though, in Mrs. F's case, I won't blame her if she doesn't remember us. We've been very well aware of JCJenson's 'memory suppression' protocols when it comes to their DDs."
F laid back in her seat with a smug look as she replied to her former superior. "Well, my friend on the station's a good tech gal. She's... waived that hindrance from me."
"I see, that means your still with us, am I right, Mrs. Lee?" Unlike her friends next to her, F was not startled by her original name being said aloud, rather smiling proudly as she saluted to the captain. "Good to see you again."
"Pleased to be here, Sir." F replied as she lowered her arm, glancing to her companions next to her as J spoke up.
"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Captain Preston Mitchell, commander of the USNV Vickers down at the stardock."
Wade gave a respectful salute to Preston as he spoke first. "It's an honor to meet you, Sir."
"Thank you, Mr. Carter. I've heard about your efforts from J, you did an admirable job back there, son." Wade failed to hide an embarrassed blush from the compliment, but it quickly faded as a beep sounded from a small device on the table. It was swiftly silenced by the captain as he tapped a button on the small, pyramid shaped timer, then facing Wade's group before continuing. "Though, as much as we could use some small talk, it'll have to wait till later."
"Indeed, we're running late at this point." Said another officer, a highly decorated member of the base with dark skin, dark grey hair and a thin beard. He immediately won the attention of everyone in the room as he spoke up. "I'm General Hugh Hood, overseer of this base. I'm certain you know some of the reasons you're here with us, correct?"
Wade nodded as he spoke to Hood. "Yeah, it's cause of those rogue agents from the JCJenson corporation." Glancing to J, the corporate drone nodded in affirmation before speaking herself.
"Tessa and I spent the last hours of yesterday evening clearing up the matter with General Hood, along with several other officials stationed here." She stopped as the middle monitor behind her flashed with a banner at the top, reading, "INCOMING TRANSMISSION", and in place of the USN emblem was a textless version of the JCJenson logo. Below the profile image was another two lines of text. "N. Jenson (Company Exec); Comms Source: Yottrite IV"
"And also told our boss about what happened here too, he wanted to give his say on this ordeal." Looking to the general, J asked him, "May I put him on?"
Hood only gave a nod of approval to the corporate drone before she picked up a remote on the table and tapped a button, accepting the call as the picture shifted to show a middle-aged man in a pristine-looking business suit on the screen.
Wade and Tina glanced to each other before J introduced their guest on the screen. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the CEO of JCJenson: Mr. Noor Jenson."
Jenson gave a pleased nod to his subordinate as he spoke to J. "Thank you for the pleasantries, J. I see we are ready to discuss our plans on dealing with this 'recall' disaster I've bore witness to on the news this morning?"
J nodded as she replied to her boss. "Indeed, I've explained to General Hood here about our efforts yesterday, and, as of recent, we've just received a message from a source we believe to be close to the company."
Mr. Jenson looked down to J attentively as he spoke to her. "Well, that's quite intriguing news, J. Do you have this message available for us to view?" J and Hood both nodded in affirmation, but didn't get an immediate reply as Jenson gazed to Wade and his friends. "...And I presume these are some of the drones rescued from one of the factories?"
Again, J nodded to her superior before explaining her colleagues. "Yes Mr. Jenson, the two drones at the front in particular were among those taken by the Administrator and their subordinates." Pointing an arm to Wade and Tina, she introduced the drone couple. "The disassembly drone here is Mr. Wade Carter, a brother to his-technically speaking-owner, the late Ron Carter. The latter helped us recover Wade during an initial raid inside the Nevada facility." When bringing up Ron, J gave an apologetic look to Wade as to show she did not mean to be offending on him and his brother's relationship. "And this is his romantic partner, Mrs. Tina Fowley. I heard she and her sister Jasmine are pilots."
Jenson looked over the two drones as his obedient employee described them to him, quietly sighing as Wade and Tina returned the gaze with nervous smiles. Once J finished, Jenson spoke to Wade. "I... would say it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Carter. But, given recent events, I don't hold fault to you for feeling frustrated at me for my... former subordinate's actions."
Wade shook his head lightly, taking Jenson's light apology with a faint smile as he replied to the CEO. "Actually, I don't. The only person I have such feelings put towards is," He hesitated for a moment, his anger at Dr. Halloway returning for a short moment before he eased himself. "..That bastard Halloway."
"The feeling's mutual, Mr. Carter. Dr. Halloway has been trying my patience for years now, especially with you and your fellow disassembly drones." Looking to J, then F, he returned his gaze to Wade before questioning him on his new body. "I don't know if J has told you of this, but if there's one truth my company has admittedly not held up to for a while, it's our quality. Recently, some of my research staff here made blueprints for an upgraded variant of the disassembly drone design. It's intended to fix several faults we expected to be nonexistent previously, most notably that atrocious cooling unit."
As a schematic pulled up on the left monitor, everyone glanced to the improved design before F spoke up about it. "If I may ask, Mr. Jenson, how big of an improvement is this new cooling unit supposed to be?"
"Good question, F. Frankly, it's supposed to do away with the issue entirely. Saves us from sacrificing enormous supplies of oil for the poorly built unit in the previous iterations. We even tested it with a repaired drone just a few days ago, and it worked flawlessly." Then, glancing to Wade again, he questioned the former worker drone on his new form. "Speaking of, how does your enhanced body feel, Mr. Carter? I'm certain it feels better to not have to-"
"Actually, Mr. Jenson," Wade interrupted, pulling out one of his canteens as he answered the CEO on his upgrades. "I guess Halloway changed up the blueprints, cause unfortunately this new cooling unit didn't cure the overheating problem. I... kinda learned that the hard way." Wade glanced to Tina apologetically, still feeling bad from her seeing him eat the corpse of the dead murder drone back at the factory.
The corporate CEO grimaced in frustration as he took in Wade's statement, already intolerant of the head researcher's actions as he replied. "...I was worried about that, Edgar always likes to run things his own way, making excuses for that 'Administrator' he watches over." Taking an agitated breath, he continued on with his spew on the two culprits of yesterday's events. "It was only because of all the very impressive creations and enhancements she and her research team provided that I tolerated them for so long, but this..." Sitting up straight in front of the camera, Jenson finished sternly. "J said the Administrator... Cyn, I believe? She was apparently something worse than we presumed originally, and I'm very inclined to believe so after yesterday."
"As well as the program tied to the Administrator, the AbsoluteSolver." J clarified before receiving an agreeing nod from Mr. Jenson, standing corrected on his placing of blame.
Raising a hand, Nathan asked about the supposed plans. "Yeah, about this "Solver Project", what do we plan to do about that?"
"Good question, Nate." Tessa replied as she crossed her arms before looking to Jenson and beginning her explanation. "Initially, we were going to investigate the other factories spread across Earth in order to get some more info on the Administrator before things get worse. But, just this morning, it seems someone else saved us the trouble." Just as Tessa neared the end of her sentence, J held up the remote again, tapping a few buttons before the left monitor shifted to show a slightly grainy video onscreen.
The video only showed a single being, a worker drone, dressed in a chrome suit and bearing a set of yellow eyes. Behind them was what appeared to be a vacant room, a few shelves holding many books within them standing still in the back. The drone's visage indicated they were filled with immense anxiety, terrified of being caught as they spoke quietly to the camera.
"I can only hope someone gets this in time, they're gonna be on me once they find out the transmitter screens are down!" Turning the camera, he showed what appeared to be a large factory room, several more of the mysterious conveyor belts like at the factory slotted next to each other. It was hard to discern every detail due to not only the window reflection, but also the dark lighting in the inactive conveyor room. Filming the room beyond, the drone continued. "Dr. Halloway's a madman, he's got more of those stolen drones being brought here and he's going to be overseeing it in the afternoon tomorrow! I've seen what happened back in Nevada, I can't take this any longer! I'm at coordinates ##.######, -###.###### Please, send someo-"
The suspicious, partially scrambled transmission immediately cut off to static, leaving Wade, Tina, and their friends with confused expressions as Tessa spoke up. "Yeah, that caught me by surprise too."
"So, that guy says they got more drones being sent 'there', but... where is there, exactly?" Jasmine asked with immense curiosity.
"I was hoping you'd ask that, Mrs. Fowley." The technician replied as she glanced to J, who tapped a few more buttons on the remote before speaking over her boss-friend.
"While the transmission itself isn't much to work off of, our friends from Comms over here managed to intercept the signal earlier, and even better, discern where it originated from." As J started her explanation, the screen shifted once more to show a large city, with one skyscraper highlighted in red as it was zoomed towards on the screen. "That scrambled audio wasn't a simple glitch, it was intentionally done so as to hide key information for us to uncover. Upon cleaning up the message, we managed to recover a set of coordinates, which direct to this structure here, in San Francisco."
Wade and his friends stared at the building in shock, examining the tall structure as it stood over the shorter buildings in the city. Tina broke the silence in her gaze. "So, this is another factory? It looks... terribly different from the one we got out of."
"Not exactly, Mrs. Fowley." Mr. Jenson answered, Tina and the others looking to him as he continued. "THAT is the Administrator's main laboratory, its location was kept on the down low so other authorities and terrorist groups wouldn't find out what the buildings true purpose was." Sighing, Jenson completed his reply. "But, with this recent mistake of Halloway's, that place has lost all purpose for us at the company."
Wade raised a hand to speak. "So, we're going to pounce on that place? Get Halloway before he runs off again?"
"Exactly." General Hood replied as he looked up to Mr. Jenson. "This whole 'recovery/recruitment' effort has gotten out of hand all across Sol. We've gotten countless reports of people being killed because of this, be it the brutal robberies here in Nevada or the bloodbath on Ceres. Even if Mr. Jenson refuses to cooperate, this has become a dire matter for us now. One way or another, this insanity will be stopped with due haste."
The CEO nodded in acknowledgement before explaining his own plans for the mission. "Speaking of cooperation, upon seeing what was happening at Earth, I ordered a detachment of our corporate starships in orbit at the time to depart for Sol in order to help with investigating the situation. They're not warships, but they are well-armed. I'll dispatch them to your authority upon concluding this call." Glancing to Wade and his team for a moment, Jenson continued. "As for the mission, I may not have much of a say, but let it be known that you have my blessing to do whatever it takes to end this madness. I don't care what you do with Halloway or any of his lackeys, or what happens to that facility down there... I want that program shut down."
"Thank you for the extra hands, Mr. Jenson. We'll make sure this Administrator is dealt with." Hood replied gratefully as Wade sat firm in his seat, Tina and the others following suite.
"General?" The former worker drone said aloud, catching Hood's attention before he made his request. "I know I'm not a soldier, but I want to help with dealing with Halloway and his grunts. After what he did, after losing my brother, I can't rest until I see that man stopped."
Tina raised a finger as well. "As do I, Wade could use a hand with those people, and given how we did during our escape run out of that place, I think the two of us make quite the duo." She glanced to Wade with a smirk as she referenced their combat prowess when flying together.
Nathan and F stood up before the latter gave her own request. "Sir, I wish to take part in this mission as well. I can also recommend Wade for you too, as I fought alongside him during the factory raid."
"Wouldn't mind giving a hand myself! And I'm sure my pal Kurtis would love to help, he's here at the base too!" Nathan added with a confident smirk, the group's determination encouraging Jasmine to stand up as well.
"I'd like to help too." She stated simply, a smile on her face as the general and his companions observed the five guests.
Admittedly, Hood knew it would be a bit absurd to allow these people to take part in an operation which would certainly involve bloodshed, especially considering most of them merely had civilian status at the moment. But, upon careful evaluation of the five, their desire to see this problem dealt with, and the fact that some of them had experience on the field...
He paused his train of thought as Captain Mitchell spoke to him. "General? I read up on the Fowleys' files when we recovered Mrs. Jasmine here, they provided service in their early careers." He smirked to the pilot sisters as he finished adding his say. "And to be frank, we need more people like them here. The records we have of them showed them to be damn fine pilots."
Tina blushed at the praise from Mitchell as she spoke to the general. "That is true, we uh... did get discharged for our... 'fancy maneuvering'."
"Sir?" Jasmine said, the general's attention on her as she added to the conversation. "Even if our flying is a bit out of protocol, Tina saved a lot of people on that starjet a few days back. I can promise you, she's an excellent woman to have at the wheel."
Glancing to Wade again, Hood took in his face, one of begging desperation as he spoke once more. "Please, Sir. My brother, the troops he brought from the Coalition, Halloway's gotten them all killed cause of this. I want to do this. I HAVE to do this, at least for them."
The good general took a deep, quiet breath, considering his decision once more before finally revealing it to Wade and his friends. "Mr. Carter, Fowleys? I'm probably making myself a fool for saying this, but you're permitted to assist us in this mission."
The drone couple contained their gratefulness in the form of ecstatic grins as Wade replied to the general. "Thanks, General. We won't let you down."
"And Mrs. Lee?" Hood said as he glanced to F, who returned the gesture as he told her, "You're technically under Mr. Jenson's authority, whatever his answer is, it's mine as well."
Bringing her yellow-orange eyes to her CEO, F awaited Mr. Jenson's answer. "F, yes? I heard Mr. Hood call you by a different name just now, I assume you have some experience with the army?"
The warrior drone nodded as she explained herself. "I once inherited the name of Felicity Lee, Mr. Jenson. I served under the USN Defense Forces before joining the DD Division." Then, glancing to the military staff near her, she finished with, "I had hoped to provide my enhancements to the Force one day."
Jenson gave a hint of a proud smile as he finally gave his decision. "Well, it seems you'll finally get that chance. From now on, even after this mission on Earth is over with, you're hereby dispatched to serve under the USN."
F admittedly couldn't hide her excited smirk as she flung a salute to her now former boss. "Thank you Sir!"
Looking up to Jenson, General Hood asked the CEO, "Mr. Jenson, how long until your ships can reach Earth?"
Jenson glanced down at his communication console as he answered the military leader. "At max speed, their Ion drives should be able to bring them into orbit in as little as one to two days. I believe there should be some ships within the system that could help as well."
"Signal them when you can, Mr. Jenson. We could use all the help we can get from them." The CEO nodded to Hood as he stood firmly to the viewer, the general turning to face Wade and his colleagues. "And Mr. Carter? We'll be mobilizing our forces immediately after this meeting concludes. It'll be a minute, but I want you to gather whatever items and belongings you'll need for this operation. Be ready to head to the flight pads in no more than three hours."
"Understood Sir!" Wade said with a salute, Tina, Jasmine and Nathan giving their own as Jasmine raised a finger.
"What about the area around the lab? That place looks like it's in the middle of the city."
J raised a finger as she told Jasmine and the others about their resolution of the civilian obstacle. "Shortly after reporting our findings on the transmission, Hood told us that they were sending in some teams to clear out the civilian population within several miles of the facility. Once we get there, it should be of no concern."
Jasmine sighed in relief as Tina spoke up. "So the people should be safe from any sort of danger?"
"Correct, Mrs. Tina." Preston answered before continuing. "Given the resistance Halloway and his men showed during the Coalition's raid, they most certainly won't hold back there."
"One more thing, Sir." Nathan asked. "The Coalition's going to help us out with this too, right?"
"You can count on it, Mr. Nathan." The Vickers' captain replied as he looked to J, then to Jenson as he spoke further. "I met the leader of the Coalition's detachment working with us when I was introduced to J and Mrs. Elliott here, they intend to see this conflict finished. I highly doubt they're willing to sit back and let us do this by ourselves."
"And their help will be much appreciated." Hood added, everyone's attention returned to him as he looked to Tessa, curious eyes scanning her holographic form. "And Mrs. Elliott, if I may. Do you mind heading down here to assist us in our investigations later on?"
"Funny you say that, General. I'm almost done with my own snooping around on the JCJ up in orbit, Cyn has some small departments of hers aboard, and I thought I'd gather some more intel before coming down." Glancing to Mr. Jenson, she saw him giving an understanding nod before returning her gaze to the military staff. "I should be down there by the evening, judging by where you're located."
"Do what you must, Mrs. Elliott. We could use whatever you find." Hood replied firmly as he turned once more to the JCJenson CEO. "Thank you for your time, Mr. Jenson. We will get to the bottom of this."
"It's my pleasure, General." Glancing to J and Tessa, he spoke to them once more. "J? Contact me when you've finished with Halloway and his Administrator."
"It'll be done, Mr. Jenson." The obedient servant answered before saluting firmly, receiving a final nod from her boss before he ended the transmission.
With their off-world guest out of the way, Hood looked to Wade and his friends, J, Tessa and Captain Mitchells sharing the gaze with them as the general spoke to them in finality. "Well, you know what comes next everyone. You're all dismissed for now. And remember, landing zone by 1300."
"We'll be there Sir." Wade said with a nod as he and his friends stood up, pushing in their chairs before making their way out to the door.
As they neared it, Wade stopped for a moment as they heard Hood call to one of his friends. "And F?" The soldier drone looked to the general as he continued. "Before we depart, would you mind changing your uniform? I believe it could help with identifying you from the other disassembly drones more easily." Glancing to J, then back to F, he finished with, "I recall hearing about the most formidable drones having clones prepared, yes?"
"Correct, Sir. I'll stop by the nearest barracks while I can." F replied before turning back to the door with her colleagues, Wade opening the door for them all as they passed through. After them, Wade passed through himself, shutting the door to the meeting room as he returned to the lobby.
Walking about together, F spoke to Wade and the others. "Well, that went smoothly. I'll be heading down to the barracks, then head over to your place to help out."
"Actually," Wade replied, raising a finger up as he asked his fellow murder drone, "You think you could bring your friends over? We could get to know each other while we're getting ready."
F glanced to Nathan with a smile before returning her eyes to Wade. "I could see about that. You're gonna like them, I can promise you that."
Taking Tina's hand, Wade walked with his girlfriend alongside Jasmine and the others, nearing the hallway they came through as they prepared for the walk back to the apartment.

Wade's visor beeped to life as his alarm system went off, the murder drone's clock showing the time, "8:00 AM", changing to his green-yellow eyes as he woke up. Tina's visor activated as well, the drone girl's own alarm activating she awakened from slumber with Wade.
Stifling a yawn, Wade looked to Tina as he rubbed her back, easing her as she rose upright. "Good morning, sweetie."
"Morning, Wade." Tina replied quietly as she looked to Wade, the two drones smiling warmly as they took in each other's presence. Noticing they were both almost completely bare of clothing, the two drones blushed as Wade began to move off the bed.
"Well, I should get something on." The former worker drone stated as they touched down on the floor, Tina grabbing her green shirt from the counter as she tried to get dressed as well.
"So should I." Tina said back as she put the shirt on, memories of their recent night together still fluent in her mind as she slowly walked over to the kitchen.
The last hours of the past night had been calm for the most part, Wade and his friends detailing their tragic capture, the loss of his brother Ron, the rescue of the drones, and finally, Tina and Wade's miraculous escape from the factory before returning to the base. After the chatter in the bar, the group split off to go their separate ways for the time being, Jasmine going with Wade and Tina to help them into her place before leaving them to watch it while she went to get some food for the next day. During their quiet stay in the apartment, Wade and Tina made small talk over what to do in the future before having what humans would call a... very pleasant night together.
And now, with the new day approaching, the drone couple had to get ready for whatever came ahead. Walking over to his clothes on one of the vacant chairs in the living room, Wade picked up his shirt, slapping it on him before glancing to Tina, who merely wore her copper brown pants and green shirt from yesterday. Smiling at his girlfriend, Wade spoke to her as he turned back around to continue redressing himself. "Seems Jasmine went out somewhere this morning. I don't see her anywhere."
Tina listened to Wade as she inspected the counter, noticing a small sticky note lying on it as she took hold of it. Tina could tell it was left by Jasmine, given the handwriting. The note said, "Morning you two! Went to get some food I forgot to pick up, I should be back shortly after you wake up. - Jasmine"
The pilot drone smiled as she read her sister's note, then turning to the living room to speak to Wade. "She went to get some breakfast, we should expect her to come back any minute now." Opening the fridge, Tina grabbed two cool cans of oil, one for herself and another for Wade. Setting the cans down on the counter, Tina closed the fridge before taking hold of the cans again, taking them with her to the living room where a fully dressed Wade now resided at.
As Tina took a seat next to Wade on the couch, the disassembly drone examined his built-in smartcomm, trying to add all the still active contacts he remembered off the top of his circuits as he spoke to Tina. "It's gonna be hard, being my own person without Ron." Chuckling, Wade smirked at Tina, finding himself unsure at his own words. "Or maybe I'm just overreacting."
Tina chortled at Wade's inconfidence as she tried to bring him some, handing him one of the oil beverages as she spoke. "I think you'll do fine, honey. I've run into some disrespectful humans in my life too."
Wade nodded in understanding as he took a sip of the oil, the sound of the front door opening catching the drones' attention as Jasmine walked in. Carrying a paper bag full of food items, the human pilot spoke aloud. "Morning, you two! Just had to finish an errand I screwed up last night."
"Oh, it's not a problem for us, Jass." Wade replied as he took a sip of his oil, Tina looking over to the kitchen wall as she listened to her sister.
"How was your night? You lovers passed out on me when I came in, so I just rested on the couch." The lover drones gave looks of apologetic concern as Jasmine walked back into the living room, the woman noticing Wade and Tina's faces as she continued speaking. "It's nothing, though. I slept well."
"I hope so, we didn't mean to take up the whole bed." Tina responded as she gave a blush of embarrassment, Wade nodding in agreement as Jasmine replied back.
"I did, really. Besides, you two deserved the bed after all you put up with yesterday. Gotta have some place to blow some steam."
Wade and Tina smiled at Jasmine's comment, then blushed as Wade questioned about her phrasing. "Wait, you mean that as a euphemism or...?"
A knock at the door shut up the discussion, Wade standing up as he offered to handle the visitors. "I'll get the door." Tina nodded as he walked over to the apartment entrance, checking the small peephole before opening the door. Looking down, he saw two beings: a human and drone soldier whom he assumed were from the Coalition given their specific body gear.
While he took notice of the militia duo, the drone soldier spoke up to him. "Good morning, we're looking for a..." He lifted up what appeared to be an ID card, Wade glancing at the object as he heard the drone continue his question. "...Wade Carter? We heard he resided here since last night." Looking to Wade again, the drone stopped himself upon finishing his sentence, then picking himself up as he spoke further. "Come to think of it, you look like him."
Wade smiled warmly as he spoke to the two guests. "That's right. You need something?"
"Eh, more like the other way around, actually." The drone soldier replied as he handed Wade the ID, the former worker drone taking it in his hands as he glanced over it. The ID showed him from when he was still a worker drone, but was thankfully untarnished from the factory as Wade held it tightly. Before he could speak, the human soldier handed him a pouch carrying what Wade presumed were a few more of his personal belongings. The drone soldier spoke once more as Wade took the pouch. "We found these while scavenging the storage bays at the factory, we've been heading around delivering them back to those they belong to."
Wade smiled brightly before finally speaking in a grateful tone. "Thanks, Sirs. If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know."
The two soldiers nodded as the human one replied. "Just doing our job, Mr. Carter. Have a pleasant morning." With that, the troopers departed the apartment complex, leaving Wade to himself as he shut the door.
Heading back inside, Tina and Jasmine looked to Wade as the former spoke to him. "Who was that?"
"Just some boys from the Coalition, and just like Nathan said, they finally found my ID!" Wade answered before showing the card off, Tina grinned happily as she saw it, Jasmine giving a simple smile as he spoke further. "Feels good to have it back, I think that was what was keeping me down a little yesterday."
"Well, at least you won't have to worry about that anymore." Tina replied as Wade put the card in his pocket, taking his seat again before setting the pouch at his legs. Taking notice of the pouch, Tina asked, "What's in that? Battery candy?"
Wade shook his head as he began pulling out the items inside the bag, speaking to Tina as he examined them. "Oh, no, looks like some more of my belongings." Once he was done, Wade put the pouch on the couch's cup holder, on the space behind the drink holders themselves. The items were other various cards and papers with various personal information of Wades written on them, along with Wade's wallet. Wade found it almost comical that the items were all separated from each other, rather than being inside the wallet after getting cleared out.
Tina seemed to agree with Wade's thoughts as he began reinserting the cards into his wallet. "Well, that's silly. They just put everything in that little pouch instead of putting it all back in that thing."
Wade chuckled as he put his ID into the frontal window pocket of the wallet. "Yeah, guess they had to clear every little part of it before sending it off." As he finished restocking his wallet, Wade glanced to the pouch before continuing. "Besides, that IS a nice pouch."
"It sure is." Tina replied before taking another sip of her oil can, Wade putting his wallet away as she spoke again. "On another subject, however, you think we should go see if Nathan's around? Him and Kurtis could come by and have some small talk."
Wade nodded as he started to speak, but stopped as Jasmine spoke first. "Actually, I ran into F earlier while at the market. I heard from her that Nathan was going to be joining her for a date later this afternoon." Glancing to Wade, she finished with, "So he might be already busy for the moment."
Taking his own oil can, Wade shrugged his arm as he replied. "Eh, no problem with that. Don't wanna kill a growing relationship, now do we?"
Tina chuckled lightly as she agreed with her boyfriend. "Indeed, if it were us, they'd probably do the same fo-"
The chatter stopped as another knock sounded at the door, Wade moving to get up again as he glanced to the ladies in confusion. "Another visitor?"
"You think it could be F?" Tina made a wild guess as Wade approached the door, glancing out the peephole in slight surprise before opening the door.
Wade felt as if their talk about the Ceres couple had been a form of summoning as he saw F and Nathan standing at the door, bearing strangely serious expressions as they were greeted by the former worker drone. "F! Nathan! Funny timing, we were just talking about you. Come on in, have a seat."
As the two walked past Wade, F pat him on the shoulder as she spoke to him. "As much as I'd like to visit Wade, I'm afraid we're not gonna be here long, nor are you and the Fowleys."
Wade raised an eyebrow at her reply as he followed Nathan and F, the two simply standing in front of Tina and Jasmine as Wade returned to the living room. "Oh?"
"We're leaving? Should we get dressed and pack our things ASAP?" Tina asked with mild concern as F replied to her.
"Yep, you're on the ball with getting ready, but we're... not exactly leaving." The disassembly drone's words brought a confused face from Tina as Nathan clarified his crush.
"We got a call from J, just as we were heading to one of the diners here." The two drones paused for a moment, glancing to each other as they almost spewed out about their date, but shook it off as Nathan continued with little hesitation. "She told us that Tessa had intercepted some kind of transmission, one that might help us clear up this situation with the company faster than we initially thought."
F gave an affirming nod on Nathan's explanation before adding to it. "Her and J are playing host to a meeting held by the general stationed here, and she wants us to attend." Glancing over Wade and the Fowley sisters, she finished the explanation with, "They especially want you two to come as well, given what you both went through."
Wade and Tina gave blushes of embarrassment at the news, honored by the invitation but also a little uncomfortable with their elevated status as they glanced to each other. After taking a moment to process what they heard, Wade broke the silence. "Well, I did make that promise at the factory, and to J and Tessa earlier... and I intend on acting on said promise." Looking to Tina, his girlfriend gave an agreeing nod as she stood up with him.
"Glad to hear it. We don't have to be in that much of a rush, though, the meeting doesn't start until 10." F stated, Wade and Tina both glancing at the clock to check the time before looking back to their murder drone friend with nods of acknowledgement.
Standing up from her chair, Jasmine stretched as she announced her goals to the room. "Well, in that case, I should hit the shower."
"Right, I'll get myself fixed up too." Tina replied as she looked to Wade, the two sharing warm smiles before heading to the kitchen. Noticing the still unstored items on the counter, Tina spoke aloud. "Jasmine? You mind if Wade and I help store the groceries in the cabinets here?"
"Sure, thanks!" Jasmine answered in a grateful tone as she went off to the bathroom in the back of the apartment, Tina glancing to Wade as she began to take some food out of the bag.
"I'll get the refrigerated stuff." Wade stated simply as he took some items out of the bag, Tina putting her chosen food stuffs into one of the cabinets as they worked to unload the fresh consumables from Jasmine's errand.

Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her “events” she was hosting. Here’s the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (I’m being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes it’s chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Well…. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the “meet up”…. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didn’t want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damn…. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasn’t really sure what to say or make of that.
She also…. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldn’t look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and that’s that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldn’t stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe I’ll save that for later. It’s almost like I couldn’t just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didn’t get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her “best friend” who had happened to be her brother’s Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldn’t understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like “I can’t fucking stand your sister” (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like “I know…. I know. It’s a lot. She’s a lot”. And I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anyway… that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more “friends”. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadn’t seen her in some time. But then… idk. She had had a lot to drink. I’m fully aware that she’s kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. There’s not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I found… really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, she’s still in there, and there’s a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just starts… drunkenly spewing.
I can’t even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying “I just want to let you know that I don’t really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and I’ve let you in my circle…” or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? I’m pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and it’s not just a title we bestow onto some “lucky” person and that’s that. Like girl… let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didn’t mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, we’ll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And then….. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh no… it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunk… she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didn’t really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just should’ve left but I’m telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayed… and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I don’t even know if I can fully explain. She just became… so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for me… I’ve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
I’ve never seen anyone act like that and I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And she’s tried to act like and say multiple times that she’s like my “big sister”. Now I’ve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And it’s not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know it’s monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didn’t hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing her… and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc let’s face it… as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just don’t think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because that’s all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, that’s not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didn’t want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I don’t know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is “I hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you do”. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HER… and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
I’ve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldn’t stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going places… but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guys…
Am the asshole?

2024: Post #76 Watched May 2nd As part of the Curzon Lars von Trier Complete Collection IMDB Directed by: Lars von Trier Written by: Lars von Trier TSPDT: 18,214
99 minutes. Although it’s tempting to say this is Lars von Trier’s take on The Office, the comedy in this film sits closer to Klown or Four Lions. It is the tamest of von Trier’s work, but it is also a bit deeper than it seems on the surface.
Always the tinkerer, von Trier created a camera rig that allows the camera to move left or right based on a random number generator. A computer produces a number and the camera moves, not paying attention to the timing within the scene or the dialog being spoken. This creates a slightly off-kilter experience but also adds to the amateur quality that really works with a mockumentary-style awkward office comedy.
It’s also worth noting this movie feels almost nothing like any other von Trier project. It is a straight comedy, without any surprise gore or existential despair. The premise is actually pretty funny. There’s a CEO, Peter Gantzler, who is about to make some tough business decisions, and doesn’t want the blame, so hires an actor to play the real CEO, who has been working out of America, to come and deliver the bad news. The actor, Jens Albinus who also played a big role in The Idiots, is introduced as a self-important actor and we come to find out he takes his work very seriously. He plays an amazing “straight man” in this. He feels like he has the role of a lifetime, and we watch him transform into method acting and really becoming the boss of it all.
The humor runs throughout, but the back half of this film is exceptionally clever. As the bad news starts to spread, and the actor sees human lives impacted, the games tops becoming fun and he gets into a back and forth with the real CEO to share the blame. Like most comedies, the best parts of this are not necessarily the plot structure but the jokes and the dialog.
In an interview about this film, von Trier said he has always enjoyed the types of comedies where you may not be rolling over laughing, but you’re caught up in the wit and the humor and when it’s over you start replaying all of the good jokes in your head. A comedy that gets funnier on every viewing. I think that’s what he’s made here. It’s a sneaky funny movie with constant well-written jokes and scenarios. This is for sure worth watching if you get the chance.

SPOILERS FOR STORY IN 2.2 AND 2.3 LEAKS
Just a post to ramble a bit about this character and his treatment by Hoyoverse Look I've been trying to be as optimistic as possible here. But after seeing the latest update to a certain relic coming in 2.3 I think this is a Breaking point for me regarding the treatment of Boothill's Character
First it was his drip marketing in 2.2, EVERYBODY was expecting it to be Robin and Firefly, but of course as we know they dropped Boothill in... The most unexpected way possible I remember I was surprised back then, I saw his design in leaks and was very looking forward to pull for him, but of course he wasn't firefly and received a lot of backlash because everyone was waiting for her. Many people just straight up said easiest skip or trash the character because it was not their waifu.
Can't blame them, we didn't knew anything about him at that point. But I had faith that between 2.1 and 2.2 he was gonna be introduced and if many people fell in love with Firefly in just ONE patch, I was expecting that Boothill could receive a similar treatment.
Then 2.1 came out and... Nothing, just a few voice lines promising a battle or at least a confrontation between him and Acheron. It was basically just setting him up a bit, it may not have been much but hey, I wanted to see if he was brave enough to fight against an emanator or perhaps he had a plan to fight her. Everything was just especulation of course but we had to wait for 2.2 to check out his involvement in Penacony
Then 2.2 came out... And man was I really disappointed by the treatment of Boothill. Not only you can write him out of the story and it will mostly still be the same, when we changed to his POV, which was only once we didn't even had a chance to use him and a fight or see any development like Aventurine or Acheron. Yes he was pretty funny with Dang Heng but that was it. Then they try to make a Cliffhanger of him confronting Aventurine which at this point I'm sure it will lead to nowhere.
But hey at least his event was on the horizon I didn't read to much about it but thought it was gonna be a couple of missions but... It was just daily tasks, something where you putted some characters, wait anda ta-dah stellar jade, we had some info on the tasks but is this really the best that we can give on an event for one of your limited 5 stars characters?
Then on 2.3 some certain relics were leaked that look promising but to not spoil only worked on Firefly, but at least we had a 4 Pc set that was best in slot for him down the line, yes it was also for Firefly but at least it worked on any break effect DPS
And now lastly Hoyoverse made some changes in the beta and instead of making the ornaments of 2.3 to be more universal for break effect DPS, they doubled down and made it EVEN more exclusive for Firefly.
I just feel like Hoyoverse really dropped the ball on him. He's being released among the characters that most people want, Robin, Then Firefly and Heck even Jade. His event was very underwhelming, his presence in the story really was almost none on the patch that should be making you feel something or at least get some interest in the character to pull for him, on his debut. His Bis relics are being given to Firefly a character that at this point I'm sure will surpass him in damage by the end of the beta, and will leave his status as a break effect Dps on the floor.
I don't know if I am the only one feeling like this, but it really feels like they threw him under the bus, I still love him, and I am still pulling for him, but looking at all this situations really makes me wonder if all of this are really just mistakes on Mihoyo's part or they really just wanted to set this character as a quick cash grab before firefly. Im holding hope that they at least give him some more backstory or the same marketing level they did for Sparkle. Or at least make those 2.3 Relics available for him to use.
Anyways thanks for reading and I wanna see more opinions to see if somebody feels the same as me or perhaps somebody can point me out, if they feel like he's been treated properly at some point. I will be reading you
Tl:dr Disappointed By Hoyoverse has treated Boothill when it comes to relics, story, events and even drip marketing.

Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her “events” she was hosting. Here’s the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (I’m being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes it’s chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Well…. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the “meet up”…. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didn’t want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damn…. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasn’t really sure what to say or make of that.
She also…. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldn’t look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and that’s that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldn’t stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe I’ll save that for later. It’s almost like I couldn’t just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didn’t get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her “best friend” who had happened to be her brother’s Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldn’t understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like “I can’t fucking stand your sister” (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like “I know…. I know. It’s a lot. She’s a lot”. And I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anyway… that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more “friends”. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadn’t seen her in some time. But then… idk. She had had a lot to drink. I’m fully aware that she’s kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. There’s not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I found… really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, she’s still in there, and there’s a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just starts… drunkenly spewing.
I can’t even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying “I just want to let you know that I don’t really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and I’ve let you in my circle…” or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? I’m pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and it’s not just a title we bestow onto some “lucky” person and that’s that. Like girl… let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didn’t mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, we’ll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And then….. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh no… it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunk… she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didn’t really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just should’ve left but I’m telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayed… and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I don’t even know if I can fully explain. She just became… so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for me… I’ve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
I’ve never seen anyone act like that and I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And she’s tried to act like and say multiple times that she’s like my “big sister”. Now I’ve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And it’s not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know it’s monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didn’t hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing her… and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc let’s face it… as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just don’t think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because that’s all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, that’s not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didn’t want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I don’t know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is “I hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you do”. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HER… and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
I’ve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldn’t stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going places… but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guys…
Am the asshole?

[Run Zero chapter: https://redd.it/1csb71x not every run will have a chapter; it won't be long before there are multiple runs per chapter.]
Portal load: Agility 1, Bait 3, Trumps 1, Pheromones 1, Packrat 1, Motivation 1, Power 2, Toughness 2, Looting 5, Discipline Challenge, 54 of 54 He allocated, 7.8% AP at start.
[This is probably the lowest helium load I've ever done, and sorta keeping my own advice on a recent Reddit post, Bait and Looting are up. Especially Looting, but it's not like I don't always do something like this.]
The human emerges from the glowing green mist and hits the ground. Groans. Pushes against that ground, trying to get back up. I feel really heavy. I'm not that fat, am I? He's got a dark blue button-down shirt on. A uniform? A shoulder patch. Rolls over- Ah, what's that? His shoulder pressed into something hard and metallic, He reaches over and his hand naturally seems to find a folding handle. He pulls it out from under himself and gets it up on his chest, sort of in a semi-comfortable position to hold it up and look at the screen while lying on his back. Some fiddling around the edges gets the power button pressed and the screen lights up with:
"Manual portal activation 1 successful: Void enabled. / 54 He loaded / Discipline challenge active / Total portal activation 955"
"Kakka," its one of his trimps.
'My' trimps? The human sets aside the portal pad and gets up.
Are you the guy? They all seem to be looking at him, as though they have a frickin' huge problem to solve and they need his help to solve it.
32s: First trap.
Do you bite? It doesn't matter much to us. The trimps look hopefully up at him through the trap's grating, We're so friggin' screwed.
I didn't think four of you could fit in there! He opens it and they all start following him around like imprinted hatchling birds. It seems his tactic of making a catch-alive trap confirmed to them that he was 'the guy' to help solve whatever problem...
26m42s: Z2c15, 58 pop, 7.7s RC with Z1/2; 29m44s: Fresh turkimp c25.
"Hey, buddy," he says to his first scientist, "can you speak yet?"
"Shijou?" it says, then it starts writing, "Hi Tightniks."
"Who do you mean 'Tightniks'?" he asks, "I mean, it's not like I remember my own name, but what makes you think it's Tightniks?"
"Tai," it points right at him with one paw.
"Just pointing at me isn't going to answer that," he chuckles.
The trimp's hands are quite prehensile, but it's hard to tell without it holding something, they don't seem able to make their fingers visually distinguishable. [Puchim@s all the puchidoru, although some have big round hands and some have small pointy hands; Takanya is the latter. Probably Final Fantasy Red XIII as well, but I'm not familiar enough with him to be satisfied.] This one starts climbing up his leg.
"Wait, wait," he stops it. It's a challenge to stoop in this gravity, but not as much of one as carrying a trimp. He gets down on his knees and back on his haunches and-
"Tai," it points again to a spot on his chest just left of his heart, then climbs on his lap and grabs his uniform at that spot, "Tai!"
He looks down and sees "Tightniks" embroidered into the fabric above his pocket. "Ah," he sighs, "Well, if that's my name, that's my name."
"Shijou," it gives him a friendly whack on the shoulder.
2h38m55s: Mskel in Z11c3.
"Hey guys?" Tightniks points at his bone box, waving his finger, "Does anyone remember where these came from?"
"Nope," the yellow one says.
"Yeah, there are 12 more in here than we got kills to account for," Tightniks says.
"I've been getting a sense of deja vu about just about everything," the red one points at the metal box on the strap over his shoulder, "That's a big exception. Any clues there?"
"It says it's for something called a DT Experimental Industries Time Portal," the human shrugs, "I have no idea what it's talking about, honest."
3h25m46s: Block PB, 0.3% AP sub-4h, 540 pop, 8.3s RC, no turkimp
That thing is beeping? He takes a look at his TPCS pad and he's got a message saying that he finished the Block in under 4 hours and there's a little attack bonus- Under 4 hours? It's been over 4 days!! Checking the time on the device reveals that the portal times in terms of a "map frame" out there in space, and the passage of time has been vastly dilated on this planet.
4h15m56s: Zone 15, 954 pop, 11.9s RC with Z14/60, no turkimp.
"Tightniks," the yellow one comes back from the second full bin to the filling third bin, watching the human fold up another of his very first inventions, the very first thing he built after jumping through the mysterious green phenomenon exiting the crashed ship, "Why in blazes are you building so many traps?"
The human had finished another and tossed it into the bin, then picked up the now ever-present portal control pad, gets it out of auto-sleep and called up the "Achievement Points" page. "I have this weird hunch," he says.
"Deja vu? That familiar feeling we always have?" the yellow one inquires politely, slightly tilting its head.
"May I?" Tightniks turns up his hand and waves it up and down in a lifting gesticulation, then points at the trap pile.
"Sure," the yellow one understands, "if you'll put me back down after."
The human sets the pad down, stoops at the knees and gets his arms under the yellow trimp scientist's front limbs and lifts it up onto that stack of traps with a grunt; it is an impressive demonstration of his improving strength against the planet's high gravity. Then he picks up the pad again and points at one of the blank purple squares near the bottom.
"You don't know what that is," the yellow one says, "Are we going after that first one that is readable?"
"Yes," the human nods, "it's for finishing something called a Dimension of Anger, whatever that is, before getting something called Bounty."
"Whatever that is," the trimp chuckles.
"No, I know what it is," the human says, "I remember it being access to a resource-rich area on the other side of a green Wall we'll find with our next map route. It doubles our resource production."
"That would be handy," the yellow one says.
"Hmm," he nods, "But all the traps are for this one," pointing at the third square in the top row of the array the pad labels "Feats", the second of three that are purple.
"Oh," a stylus materializes in the yellow one's paw, "Well, all it says is 2.5%. It doesn't say how to get it. Something to do with traps?"
"Something to do with traps," the human chuckles, "that's only convenient to do now."
4h29m46s...
Other trimps can understand the grey one better than the human, "Shijou shijou shijou?" is what a human ear would hear, but it's really asking the yellow one, "You mean he knew it was going to be here?"
"Yeah," the yellow one nods.
"Well, it's gotta be that pad none of us finds familiar," the grey one insists.
"I don't think so," the yellow one argues, "He showed the reason for all these traps to me on the pad, and the information is not yet available there."
"Well, it can't be just a coincidence," the grey one grumbles.
6h23m16s: Our first void map dropped.
"What is that?" The red one asks the yellow one. It grabs a stick and lifts the strange square object up by an edge from as far away as he can.
"I have no idea," The yellow one says.
"It seems to have some sort of cooling effect," the red one says, looking underneath it, having tilted it up with the stick, "Like it's not just cold, but actually cooling down, as though it were the opposite of on fire."
"Shijou," the grey one says, holding a note.
"It's a void map. Grab it with a blanket and put it on the cart please. - Tightniks"
"Shijou shijou," the grey one clarifies, "The new pad said 'void enabled'. Guessing it's that."
10h06m21s: Zone 21, 1975 pop, 19.6s RC with Z20/232, no turkimp.
"Ooooookay," Tightniks growls, "There is something off about this thing."
"Shijou?" the grey one looks at the yellow one with concern about their human starship pilot friend.
The human stoops, picks up the little green gem on the ridge between Zone 20 and 21, looks at it, huffs, and asks, "Any idea where this comes from?"
"Err..." the red one seems hesitant to say, "I think you made it."
"Really?" the human huffs, "How could that be?" Then he tosses it at Red, "See if anything reacts to it. It might be radioactive, so we should take turns to minimize exposure."
"Really?" Red's holding it now, "What makes you say that?"
"Because I'm pissed off for no reason I can figure out," the human says, "I think it's coming from-" he gasps, "Waitamint!" He starts searching for the portal pad.
"Frags," the red one says quickly, "I think it's arranging a route. You're good with maps," it tosses the gem to the grey scientist.
The human has his portal pad up and reads aloud, "You have the Discipline challenge active. Tweak the portal to- yada yada yada. Tiss tiss t- completing The Dimension Of Anger will cause Trimp damage to return to normal." He snaps his fingers, "That's gotta be it."
"Shijou," the grey one says hopefully, and has a map drawn within a few minutes.
12h30m06s: Portal, 45 He, 3.600 He/hr, 2098 pop, 18.3s RC, 1% AP for Portal-before-Bounty.
The last head of the map's boss monster goes limp as one of the fighting trimps' dagger points goes into it, and the huge thing settles on its tail, resting on the package that seems to be the prize of this map. And there's a popping sound, and then something mechanical.
Is that a scroll compressor? Tightniks looks at the package. The deflating monster's lifting envelope material drapes over everything underneath it. "Red, Shijou!" he snaps and points, "roll up that side of it. Keep this part from sucking down on the extractor nozzle!"
All fifty of the scientists jump in, literally, pushing the gas in the bag towards the compressor. Tightniks as well, rolling up the front.
Until he kicks, and nearly trips over, a smaller package that might be the explanation for the reason why the center of the monster's defense seemed to be a little away from the big package he could see. It's in the right place, he realizes. He gets it uncovered and reads stenciled-and-sprayed block letters on it:
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE DOWN"
Perhaps the Dimension of Anger is so named because of the rage suddenly rising up in Tightniks' throat. It isn't so much as the free-floating aggression suddenly has an answer, there is definitely a fresh batch of rage and anger as he grips the nearest Dagger V, Mark 2 with both hands- ...I must have gotten used to destroying it at some point. He lets go of his weapon with his right hand first and dangles his left arm while holdi-
Refocusing on surviving the next few seconds, the pilot turns on the radar for the final approach and takes a last look around, then straight ahead at his forward camera and primary flight display...
He crouches, sets the dagger down gently, then starts clearing the debris from the box's grab iron. He tries to lift it- Damn, this is heavy!
Surprised at this turn of events, his two oldest scientists, Grey and Yellow, rush to either side of him and help out. They get it flipped over and read the other side of the device, Tightniks chuckles a bit at its predictability:
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE UP" There's a square cutout in the middle of one side of it, with a sliding cover at the bottom of it.
"Thanks," he pats his scientists, "but back off, please." He gets the cover unlatched, and slides it open to see, first a big rainbow-colored wide data cable and card edge connector, then several fluid ports. "There's something missing," he says aloud as he gets the cover completely off and onto the grass, "this connects to some-" he's got the wide flat cable up in his hand, realizing what it plugs into. He looks at his scientists, lips trembling, "G-g-g-get the pad."
The grey one already has the survival data pad and offers it to him.
"No, the other pad," Tightniks clarifies, "The big one. The big one," he picks up wide flat rainbow cable and its edge socket in one hand, "It goes here," he points at it with the other. "It must have come with me end of the last cycle."
Both the yellow one and the red one bring it, one on each side.
"Thank you," the human takes it, gets its hinge lugs on the trunnions at the top of each corner of the cavity, then gets the cable connector on the card edge in the pad's base recess, "See, that's where it came from." It comes on:
"12h30m05s: You have completed the Discipline challenge, unlocking a new memory-enable coolant loop and restoring your trimps to normal combat discipline."
"Do you have any idea what that's about?" the yellow one points at the edge of the left side.
"That's-" Tightniks examines it, then suddenly realizes, "It's gotta be for the void map."
He's got a port cover open, and the bottom of it says, "NULLIFIUM/VOID HEIRLOOM INTERFACE"
"Shijou?" the grey one brings the blanket-wrapped void map.
The human clears an edge of the map; doesn't seem to matter which one, and then gets it into the slot. It disappears and the blanket settles down while the environment goes deep blue and suddenly goes super cold. "Hoe Lee!" he shivers, wrapping the blanket around himself, "I hope this isn't too much of a Napolean-Hitler Maneuver!" He glances around, but all the trimps don't seem to discomforted by the sudden cold.
12h35m24s: Void 1, 55 He, 4.369 He/hr, 2098 pop, 18.3s RC, first void AP 1% and 0.3% AP for 100 He simultaneously, we got a rare shield, but it's lame with attack, storage, and empty.
As the environment around them return to normal, the trimps cheer over the deflated corpse of the- ...whatever, who give a hoot? Tightniks finds a flurry of messages on the portal screen, two regard APs, one is about having recovered 10 He units, and the big one was about a "shield". Through the touchscreen, he enables it, and gets the status effects that it's talking about.
"Where to now, boss?" the yellow one asks, Tightniks can feel the draft off the cold trimps. They seem to be extraordinarily robust ectotherms, unlike him.
"Let's go back to that friggin' Wall, where it's warmer," he shivers, "We got that AP and could use the resources." As he leads them to the L15 route, he thinks, Maybe I did that void too early. It takes on the level of our most recently entered Zone, and the resources probably go up accordingly. [I did for character reasons after seriously considering running it at Z25 or 30.]
12h49m37s: Nursery unlocked.
"Four hundred thousand gems!" the human squeaks, "Are you kidding me?"
Grey and Yellow glance at each other, the former says "Shijou?" and starts doodling a real answer.
"I'm not sure if you've noticed, but young trimps have special diets for healthy bones," the yellow one explains.
"You eat gems?" the human gasps.
"Shijou," Grey says with a shit eating grin just above a little sign that says, "Babies eat aluminate, and gems are the best!"
"Do they like the taste?" Tighniks tosses a gem from the helium compressor in the direction of the nearest house.
"Uh-Uuuuh!" after it bounces off a paving stone, a yellow juvenile with red head fur jumps into the air to catch it in its mouth. [Puchim@s Yayo. Liek seriously, she jumps after pennies.]
13h32m59s: Zone 25, 84 He, 6.199 He/hr, 2217 pop, 52.6s RC with Z24/568, no turkimp.
It has an unusually light colored body, dark head fur that lies flat, and for trimp tails, wide and not all that prehensile, reminds Tightniks of a- ...he remembers what the animal looks like, but not that his home planet is called Earth nor that the animal is called a tanuki raccoon. Just the tail, the rest of the trimp looks like a trimp for the most part. Oh yeah, the mining foreman. [Puchim@s Yukipo] He turns to Red and asks, "What's wrong with it?"
"It's in a bad mood," the red one answers.
"I can tell," Tightniks glares angrily at the red one for a moment, cools off, takes a breath, and asks kindly, "Why is it in a bad mood?"
"We've never been out this far," the yellow one offers, "...well, with the portal captured at least. Now, it was in a good mood before it got near the cart after we started this zone. Something new on the cart?"
Tightniks approaches the mopey mining foreman and asks it, "What's the matter, little fella?"
It sighs, then starts struggling to climb [see 1x6] onto the compressor cart. Tightniks helps it up with a lift, then it goes to the portal pad and turns it on, opens up the coolant page, the challenges tab there, and sort of sighs and looks questioningly at him.
"Metal challenge:" the pad reads, "Tweak the portal to bring you to an alternate reality, where the concept of Miners does not exist..."
"Oh," Tightniks realizes, then huffs, "That explains the bad mood." He sits down with the mining foreman trimp and brushes its tail, "Don't worry, my friend. You'll be back after one cycle, and I'm sure I'll miss you and your miners. These guys," he nods at the scientists, "we're scared they wouldn't be back when I first used it on purpose, but they came back. If there's a 'Science challenge' later on, I'll have you and not them-"
The scientists flinch.
"It'll be okay," he assures the mining foreman he hasn't yet realized has fallen comfortably asleep in his lap, "It'll be okay, buddy."
16h11m02s: Gymnastic Z25 taken and gyms rapidly increasing now.
The 710 fighting trimps are majestic with their new gymnastic skill and nearly impossible to hit. Only occasionally did the gorillimp do damage. They took it down easily.
Then the dragimp they faced next blew them away with a fireball that made Tightniks flinch. It took him a second to get the dragimp back in his bee nickels. The next group was all ready to relieve their fallen comrades before they went down, even without the welcoming traps for the wild volunteers (of which Tightniks has just started into the 41st bin of ten thousand.) The dragimp can do nothing to them; anything that hits gets deflected by their V-8 shields; they never got sufficiently blindsided.
[Funny: V-8 is a veggie drink similar to clamato juice I can't find anymore, but it's really five-eight, which just happens to be the squadron number of the cast in Space: Above and Beyond. Herp-a-derp!]
19h11m12s: Spammed some random biome maps...
"Tai?" the grey one looks up at the human holding a little sign, "Last couple zones, you've been mapping a lot of random biome routes we never used. Is there any point to that?"
"Stats," the human says, fitting another one together, "Oh, and this," he tosses the trimp the completed forest route map."
As it registers in the portal system, the pad starts beeping and flashing its screen.
"What?" Tightniks sneers incredulously, "There's an AP for that?" He checks and sure enough, there's a 5% Achievement Point for making a 'perfect' map, by a full notch the biggest AP so far.
The yellow one was relaxing on the corner of the latest filled up trap bin, the 49th, notices, and leans back, "Yarey yarey..." shaking its head.
19h13m28s: Uberhouse taken.
"Shijou," the grey one stands at Tightniks feet holding a small book.
Tightniks takes a brief break from his trapmaking and stoops for his oldest scientist.
"Shijou," the grey one bobs the small book in its hands to offer it to Tightniks.
"Flush toilets and septic systems?" Tightniks reads, "You do this yourself?"
"Oh, don't you wish," the red one snickers, "No, it was in that perfect route you mapped up."
20h39m26s: Zone 30, 161 He, 7.794 He/hr, 4656 pop, 20N, 74.5s RC with Z29/1735, no turkimp, 2.5% AP for sub-60 He Z30 start...
"Oh?" Tightniks has an Ax V-3 over one shoulder and screws the helium hose connector to the portal system with one hand. He grunts, sounds kinda disappointed, sets the ax down and continues working on his massive pile of traps; he's almost finished the 55th of, he just learned, 100 huge bins.
The mining foreman had struggled up onto the cart to see, and just looks baffled. It usually looks a bit lost just as part of its demeanor, but this time it looks really quite confused, and makes rather bemused sounds too.
"Oh, what is this?" Red jumps up on the cart, sounding like it's gotta be silly.
The mining foreman climbs back down and spots a purple ore vein, makes a happy sound and pulls its shovel out of its back pocket to start digging into it.
[OC: This is not even close to an exaggeration vs. OG Puchim@s Yukipo who, in 1x2, just pulls out her shovel from nowhere and digs a hole through Project 765's indoor tile-and-concrete office floor to have a nap in the cold open of a 137 second long cartoon episode. Never run out of mushroom boxes! Also, 2nd season Golden Week gold medallion, she and Yayo dig into a volcanic island and hit an oil gusher ...you don't need to know much geology to realize...]
"Really?" Red groans, "Sheesh."
What's on the pad? "Hoarder: Have over 1 million traps at once, 2.5% damage."
20h48m06s: Gateways.
"Hmm," Tightniks pauses from his trap building and gazes over where they came from.
"Thinking of something?" the yellow one asks from the stack he's building under his feet as he puts the most recent trap on the pile.
"Yunno, we have a lot of territory back there that should be pretty pleasant to live in," Tightniks says, "You'd think we should be able to just map an enemy-free route that trimps can just sit down and live peacefully in. I'd love to be able to do that."
"Shijou," the grey one is at his feet with a massive shit-eating grin, not really "hiding" a big piece of documentation behind its back. Obviously it's not so dumb as to realize that it isn't concealed. It then pulls it out and offers it to the human, "Shijou."
"What's this-" the human gasps, "Are you kidding?"
"Shijou."
"Well?" the yellow one prompts, "Let's friggin' try it, shall we?"
21h34m53s...
For some odd reason, that quiet little mining foreman is on the trap pile, fiddling around. Seems to be trying to arm one, has the spring catch on-
"Hey, buddy!" the human notices, "What are you-"
SPROING and it goes flying through the air. Does a few flips and turns, and then sticks the landing, strikes a pose, and makes a happy sound. [op cit. 1x57]
"What the-" Tightniks says, scratching his head, I wonder how much more damage the fighters could avoid if they could do stuff like that.
"Shijou," the grey one is carefully copying out the trimpese from a tattered and dusty scroll.
"What is that?" Tightniks asks.
"Where mining buddy learned that flip," Yellow says from the cart with feet playfully dangling, "another gymnastic book we picked up a few NMEs back. Probably another chapter from the same book, actually. It seems to have been torn apart and scattered."
"Is that right, bud-" the human looks around, can't seem to find the mining foreman, "Buddy, where are you?" It can't move so fast as to get out of sight this quickly!
"Po-wee!" it cheers from the bottom of its latest hole, which is beside a pile of rich bluish-greenish copper ore, onto which another shovelful flies out of the hole onto it.
22h44m17s: Zone 32, 205 He, 9.016 He/hr, 9548 pop, 30N, 37.7s RC with Z31/2712, no tkp.
"You should probably go," Red whispers.
The exhausted human has just sat down for a nap after tossing yet another trap into the huge bin stenciled "61".
"Really, I mean it," the red trimp scientist gently sets a paw on the pilot's shoulder, "Listen to sense please. Charge all this helium and use the portal; it'll make us so much stronger."
"Only 392 thousand to go," Tightniks sighs, "All the ones I've made go to waste if I use it now. I know it's only a two-and-a-halfer, but if I go now, I'll never be in de-" his head slumps into the nodding-off of post-all-nighter fatigue, "moo."
Red and the mining foreman help the snoring human gently down onto his side. The former quietly asks the latter, "Do you think he's doing the right thing?"
The mining foreman makes a particularly delighted squeak, grabs its latest flask of leafy-flowery infusion, which is just now cool enough not to punish such a maneuver with a nasty burn, and upends the whole thing in a couple seconds. It then bounds off joyfully towards the big pit mine over there. It does not often lead the general laborers because of the gymnastic and shield driven block fight, which needs wood, but it happens to be doing so today.
Yellow stands next to the grumbling unhappy green lumber foreman trimp, who is standing on the head of its dual bit ax with its chin on the end of the haft sticking up from the head on the ground. "Cheer up!" the yellow scientist gently prods it in the elbow, "There isn't a Lumber challenge."
1d00h20m05s: Zone 33, 229 He, 9.410 He/hr, 10120 pop, 50N, 40.8s RC with Z32/3390, no turkimp.
"It's a familiar smell," the human says.
"There's no way we've been out this far since whatever it is that shtfed Trimp civilization," Red grumbles. [Word based on acronym SHTF, which stands for "stuff hits the fan" in its G-rated version. Long time ago, similarly derived "nsfw" was a kerbalese cuss word.]
"I think it's from before that," Tightniks clarifies, "from before the time loop stuff."
"I'm worried our fighting group is nearly a third of our population," Yellow sighs.
"Casualties bother you?" Tightniks asks, "I thought we talked about that."
"It's taking forever to breed up new groups, and these things, *snap* ow," Yellow didn't quite touch that one the right way, "you've got 661 thousand of are too small to help. If you don't go now, this will probably be our last Coordination and we won't be able to finish the next zone."
1d06h52m14s: Gymnastic Z35 finally away.
"Did you know it was there?" The red one asks the human as they watch the grey one transcribe another lost chapter of the Gymnastic book.
"No," Tightniks huffs, in a few minutes' break from his trap building, "But I'm not surprised, I hope it gets us Zone 36. In any case, as soon as I finish that millionth trap-"
The mining foreman makes a mournful sound.
"Don't worry, buddy," Tightniks pats it on the head, "I'll brush your tail again last thing before I go." He's working on bin #88.
1d08h00m10s: 12802 pop, 80N, 43.7s RC with Z34/5298, down from 27.4s; '31m00s...
Tightniks, wearing wool-lined leather gloves mixing shimp and bovimp ingredients, plugs the void map that they got from earlier in the zone into the portal, bundled up against the expected cold. He hopes that the fresh Gymnastic Z35 and Coordination Z34 will get them through it.
1d08h33m03s...
"Do you think you can get it back out of there?" Red asks the shivering human as he reaches for the portal.
There are a pair of ejector levers beside the void map slot which clicked when he inserted it, but the void map disappears, so it remained an open question as to whether they could get it back out. Making sure not to have his hands over the void map slot, Tightniks gets a thumb over each one and there's resistance like something is in the empty slot. He grunts and pushes down until they suddenly snap down, the ejected void map rematerializes. "Well, that's a relief," he sets it down and the starts doffing his coats and sweaters to let the warm air of the normal world reach him.
"Try again later?" Yellow asks.
"Yes," the human says.
"What, are you kidding?" Red scoffs, these things level up with the zones!"
"Later on in this zone, obviously," Tightniks grunts with a huff, and then turns to see the grey one holding its little sign with those exact words on it, can't help but smile.
1d09h08m09s: Snimp in Z36c74...
Having just finished yet another trap for bin #95 of the hundred that he needs for the million-traps AP, he tosses it in and looks to the front. There's not much left of that snimp, but it just killed a third fighting group. "The training bonus from running ten laps in an on-level map route doesn't transfer to the void, does it?"
"Shijou," the grey one says with a note of confirmation.
"And I'm getting close to done this pile of traps we need for that 2.5% AP damage bonus."
"Shijou," it says again.
1d09h08m21s: Snimp in Z36c75...
Tightniks sighs, "...and there's another one. So much for that void map with its heinous critically accurate fast voidsnimps and ugly boss fight." And he returns to building traps.
1d10h14m08s: Trying again...
"NULLIFIUM/VOID HEIRLOOM INTERFACE," Tightniks tightens the stuff around himself and then finishes getting the void map inserted with his gloves, and his fingers come together as it puffs out in a brief blue mist in the void environment.
"Timba timba," Tightniks hadn't even noticed that the lumber foreman was up on his head, pats him on the head, wants to get back to work. [No Puchim@s resembles the lumber foreman.]
"Oh, there you are," the human says, "Sorry, I wanted to finish the run with the mining foreman in charge of the resourcing workers. I don't know what's about to happen to it when I hit the Metal challenge."
"Who the devon talked you into into trying this thing again?" Yellow grumbles, looking up at the indigo sky and mysteriously shrunken and dim sun, hands- ...forepaws on its waist, not discomforted by the cold, but bothered by the re-attempt. [This cuss-word after Disturbed song "Inside the Fire".]
"Shijou," the grey one grins above a Rosetta-stone-like sign it's holding with "It was me." in forty-seven languages both human and trimp.
"Zone 37 is hopeless in the time it'll take me to finish building the traps," Tightniks says.
"Won't the cold slow you down?" Red inquires, "It seems to get to you for some reason we don't get."
"Timba timba," the lumber foreman confirms from its perch on Tightiks' jacket hood.
"Yeah," he huffs, tightening it down, "but it slows down the portal clock by the same amount, so who cares?"
1d10h38m48s: Voidsnimp in c12...
Even in the void, Tightniks has gotten used to the sounds of the combat and trimps dying en masse, but when he heard that voidsnimp screech, which is similar to a "drill" robot from an Earth video game he has almost totally forgotten called Descent (Interplay 1995), he almost involuntarily turned to see, Even way back here, they can damage us despite all that gymnastic training? Then it landed the critical hit and wiped them out, as all critical hits do on this void route. He still finished the trap he was working on before going back to the portal, "Forget this, we're just getting the zone blimp." He pops the map from the portal's void slot, and starts getting his void gear off. His uniform long since wore out, so he's wearing something much more cave-manny. [I picked that sound because that sucker was dangerous and terrifying and carried the nearly hitscan Vulcan cannon. There was no Descent II equivalent, but the Thiefbot was pretty annoying.]
1d10h45m30s: 1M traps AP for 2.5%. 1d10h47m36s: Zone 37, 345 He, 9.916 He/hr, 13120 pop, 100N, 33.6s RC with Z34/5298, 2774 pop short, no turkimp.
Tightniks had nearly finished the long procedure for loading and configuring the portal, then sat down with the mining foreman to brush its tail like he promised.
The scientist trimps tried to hit the portal's activation plunger, but it refused to travel the full distance closed for any of them. Quite tired themselves out trying. The only one not exhausted into total silence was the grey one with its exasperated "Shijou..."
The mining foreman refused to go to sleep, and watched intently as Tightniks finally reached over and set it home with one hand. Its last nervous little sigh was the only thing he remembered-
The ship is without power, and Tightniks can't run the radar much without draining the batteries...

This is gonna be a long story but I recently just got married, my wedding day was perfect, it was so much fun and everything I dreamed of….except one little thing, my cousin (who has a personality and narcissistic disorder) showed up wearing a revealing off white dress to my wedding and was being super rude to my now husbands side of the family and me. My sisters (who were maid of honors) grew up with her and they are close. Anyways, my cousin would give me dirty and judgmental looks, kept on going up to the DJ to change songs, and was ignoring and talking down to my husband and his family for no reason. Literally everyone noticed this behavior, even the coordinator at the wedding straight up asked me what was up with her. I had no words, I just wanted to enjoy my day at that point. My cousin literally kept on waiting for a reaction but I wouldn’t give her one. The next few days, I started asking family why she did that and what her issue was. They made up all these excuses for her and said “that’s the way she is,” “she didnt know what she was doing” “I didn’t notice anything” “her dress was light beige” and “she does this a lot.” Like wtf?? As the next few weeks went by, I decided I want to delete photos of my cousin in it or try to crop her out. I told my sisters this and of course defended her, told me how petty and immature I’m being and to “get over it” and “move on.” I feel like I’m being gaslighted and I’m hurt as hell over this. I feel like my feelings are being overlooked and it’s like they’re almost taking her side. I ended up blocking my cousin, her number and on Facebook. My sisters told me they even talked to her and she said that nothing was wrong and didn’t understand why I was upset. They told me to talk to her and “forgive her” let it go, all that bullshit. Am I being over dramatic or is this really kind of messed up. There’s a few more things to add but this is already getting long, sorry about that.
Update: it’s been almost 2 months since my wedding and so far all I’ve gotten is my family telling me to move on, pray for her, forgive her, and she said she didn’t even do any of that. I’ve gotten absolutely nowhere with literally anyone, except my husband and his family who witnessed her behavior. I got into fights with my sisters about it, they say some people don’t even know about how you can’t wear white to a wedding, my cousin told them how she didn’t even do anything to me, and she just played dumb. It’s funny, my sister’s complained about her the entire time she was visiting, how annoying she was and how they can’t wait for her leave and now they’re talking with her daily. Like wtf? So I’ve honestly gotten nowhere with this. They’ll call sometimes and we don’t even bring up my cousin cause all it’s gonna do is lead to a fight. But my trust in them is gone, I feel very hurt and betrayed by them and they don’t even care. I’m gonna work on setting boundaries and limit my contact with them after all this.

I have been dealing with my child's dad for years. He's always been into some shady not so legal job opportunities. He told me he had stopped when his rights got taken away in court. After a while I started giving him time with our child. That was about 4 years ago. About 2 years ago he started taking our child and my additional child (not his) for parenting time. I went to pick them up and he was still sleeping. When I went into my ten year olds room there was a white substance all over the table next to him along with blow torches, a sifter and a bank card.
I was irrate. I took my kids out of there. We were outside when my ten year old told me their phone was in the dad's car. I went into the car and there was illegal substances. I said no more visits.
That was almost a year ago and I've stayed strong even though my kids ask for their dad. I told him that he has to get on the right path. Well he tried to convince me he was.
On Halloween he rolled up with his new girlfriend wearing an outfit not appropriate around little kids (you could almost see her 😺). He had his 2 year old nephew in the car. They got out and I could smell the alcohol on them. They carried a large cup with a lid which very obviously had liquor in it. (Just to be clear.. he wasn't invited. He came looking in our neighbourhood for us)
We somehow made it through trick or treating. My new partner was blown away by the outfits, the alcohol and the attitudes. When we were leaving we stopped at the church for hot chocolate. Someone was talking about a car running in the parking lot. We look over and sure enough it's his car and he's no where to be found. The car was running, the door was open and he wasn't there. He was in line for the bouncy castle.
Fast forward to a week ago. I took my kids to the theater and my son had told his dad we were going. His dad showed up. He didn't see us so he left. I later told him that it's inappropriate to just show up to our outing without being invited. We could plan something another time. He asked to take our son to the pool and said no. We could find something to do together. He said so you're denying me our son and I said yes. It's not safe. He said that's okay that's all I need. (Implying he's going to take me to court.)
That night I was checking my son's phone ( I always check to make sure hes only doing things he's supposed to be doing) and noticed his dad's Facebook was linked to my son's phone. He's obsessed with his facebook. On it were many many conversations about people needing his illegal services. I screenshotted them. There were over 25 screen shots.
Today my daughter called him to ask him to play an online game with her. He said no and texted me that he wasn't going to fight to be their dad. I said okay. All I have ever asked is that you get on the right path. No response. He then went onto his Facebook and posted a status about not being able to see his kids. It made me mad. All he has to do is choose a better profession. Of course everyone is offering their sympathies.
It took everything in me not to comment as him about his mistakes and choices but I resisted. I didn't want the blow back from it as he has a ton of keyboard warriors. However, I still got my petty revenge.
He is against LGBTQ+ (I am not) and he hates the prime minister with a passion. So I went to every drag queen pages and followed them. Not only did I follow them but I made them a high priority. I also searched up broke back mountain fan pages and followed them. Finally I searched up fan pages for the prime minister and made them high priority. I went back to his wall and sure enough, local drag shows were popping up, quotes about being LGBTQ+, pictures of same sex couples were there and finally a big picture of our prime minister's face. Oh and I also changed his Facebook dating preference to women 80-100+.
So satisfying to know that his whole feed is going to be everything he is against. It's the little things in life!

I’m on mobile so please excuse any formatting errors. Thanks! I (18F), a senior in high school, was leave school last Friday when my car broke down. It’s not really relevant, but I’ll note it’s technically my parent’s car- they just let me drive it for school commutes. We’ve been having issues with the battery recently, so I figured I only needed a jumpstart, and called my dad (49M) who didn’t pick up right way. Instead I called some friends to help jumpstart it (the battery was indeed dead and I just found out there’s been a recall on the model I drive for this issue.)
We’ve got a dealership only a mile from my high school, so once my dad saw my voicemail and my friends got the car started my dad and I drove to the dealership to get the car looked at. They helped us quickly and sent us with a number to the waiting room where I, my dad, and six or so others were crammed to wait for our cars.
Everything was going well so far: I’d aced a quiz in my German class, made plans for the weekend, my dad was reading emails and showing me bad Facebook memes, and I was actually having a decent day. The issue stems from a comment my dad made out of the blue.
The dealership’s waiting room had a tv across from the table we were sitting at, and I was glancing up at it occasionally while picking out some music to listen to while we waited. An ad for bras started playing, the kind that smooth out that space just under your armpits where skin usually bunches.
I wasn’t really paying attention to it until my dad looked up and, not quietly at all, said “Hey look, a bra to get rid of all those fatty wrinkles,” while pinching the skin in question. I was genuinely shocked and didn’t say anything for a good ten seconds, just staring at him after jerking my side away. After I processed what he said I responded, “That was weird,” because that is a really weird thing to say to your teenage daughter. Then I told him that maybe they’d show an ad for hair loss products next, because he needed those more (he’s gone white and is actively balding.)
After a few minutes of him acting like what he said was absolutely normal and of me trying not to get emotional, I went to the bathroom and just stood there alone for a good ten minutes. I was and still am upset by what he said to me. I feel like he was trying to humiliate me for some reason, because not only did he grab me and insult my weight and body, but he did it loudly in a small room full of people.
I know for a fact some people turned and looked, and part of the reason I went to the bathroom afterwards (besides trying not to cry) is because I have a diagnosed social anxiety disorder. It gets really bad when I’m in large groups of unfamiliar people, and unbearable when the attention is on me. My hands got really sweaty and my chest started to hurt, and I had to stand alone in a grimy uncleaned bathroom until I calmed down so I wouldn’t freak out in front of the whole room. It was an awful experience all around and it definitely reopened some thoughts about myself and my appearance that I haven’t actively had since freshman year. My dad also knows I have this disorder, but from what I’ve gathered he believes it’s a crutch that I use because the ‘new generation is weak and wants to be victims and doesn’t take accountability.’ I thinks it’s reasonable to note that my mom, his wife, is diagnosed and medicated for the same anxiety disorder that I am. The only reason I bring this up is because I think it’s relevant to explain why I think this was such a shitty thing to do.
Another reason why I’m upset: I’ve always been insecure about my weight, specifically because of him and some comments he’s made in the past. He once told me at the age of ten that I was ‘getting a bit of a belly’ and ‘needed to eat better’ as if I was the one deciding what food came into the house and onto my plate. I know those comments alone don’t sound bad, but regardless of how he meant it I ended up crying in my room because all I heard was my dad telling me I need to lose weight. This is the most vivid time I remember him commenting, but he’s done this a lot throughout my childhood. He knows I’m insecure about my weight, but regardless I feel like it’s unspoken that you shouldn’t make comments about someone’s body like that, especially your own daughter.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a few pounds heavier than I should be for my height, but I’m no where near obese or even fat. I’ve got softer features because of it, and I know I could lose a bit if I exercised a bit more, but case in point in a healthy and very average weight. He, on the other hand, has a beer gut and weights well over 280 pounds.
That was all the premise, and this is where I might be the asshole. When I got home I locked myself in my room and my dad went off to go shopping and pick up my sisters from their afterschool activities. I’d made plans to sleep over with a friend, and while waiting for her to arrive and pick me up my mom came home and we ended up chatting for a while about nothing. I was still pretty put off by my dad’s comment and once our conversation had ended I piped back up and asked “Can I ruin the mood?”
I told her the story I told here, that we were waiting and say the ad, that he pinched my side and made the comment, and my mom’s eyes physically bulged when I told her what happened. In short, she was pissed. She’s always been in my corner and she was appalled that he’d made this comment, and was even more upset and a bit angry when I told her there were other people present, too. She told me that it was an absolutely inappropriate thing for him to say and do, and that she has no idea why he would say that to me, and reassured me that I wasn’t fat in the slightest. I really appreciated it, and she actually pointed out another thing made the whole situation more odd.
She said it was extremely out of character for him, and also didn’t make sense because I don’t show off my figure whatsoever. I was wearing baggy jeans and a t-shirt a few sizes too big at the time, and a large jacket over top of it that I had just tied around my waist before he made the comment. I hate dressing provocatively or showing off my body, and even wear swim trunks and a tank top when swimming. All this to say there wasn’t a single hint of a wrinkle or any skin showing on my torso- he had to go out of his way to grab a chunk of my skin and mock me.
My mom hugged me and said she’d talk to him for me, and when my friend arrived I left and got dinner. We ended up sleeping over at my place (against my will but whatever) and once she left the next morning my dad came up to me and we talked. I had made breakfast for my friend and I and hadn’t felt like eating much even though I was hungry, and my dad accused me of trying to make him feel bad for making ‘a joke.’ I told him it wasn’t a joke because it was just mean, and he didn’t apologize for hurting my feeling, and told me I’d made a scene with Mom for no reason and she was pissed at him. He said I was starting problems and being immature and taking things too seriously. I just put in my earbuds and cleaned up the kitchen.
One huge reason his ‘joke’ hurt me specifically is because he’s very vocal and adamant that for any joke to be funny it has to be rooted in truth. I can’t emphasize this enough; any time he makes a joke, whether it’s genuinely funny or just off color and sort of derogatory, he makes the same comment about humor being rooted in truth. These are genuinely the only types of jokes he ever makes. You can see why this would upset me then, because he’s made it very clear that he believes his ‘jokes’ are all true on some level. Either he made the first exception to this rule of his life, or he was calling me fat to my face (and the entire waiting room full of people) and is trying to play it off like I’m overreacting when I have every reason to think he wasn’t.
On the other hand, maybe I’m reading way too far into this and he’s right. Maybe I was an asshole to bring my mom into this and upset her, and get him into trouble. Maybe I am being too sensitive and what he said wasn’t as bad as I feel like it was. Please let me know what you think.
TLDR: My dad made a loud comment implying I was fat in a small crowded room, then got mad that I told my mom and got him in trouble. He claims it was a joke I misinterpreted but I think he was trying to humiliate me.

I need to start alerting this will be a long post, also english is not my first language so please forgive any typos, always trying to improve.
Alright, this is a long story. It all started in december of 2021, i was 17 (female]), i was doing some exams and my mom was in a child's party of her nephew's son. This nephew (my cousin duh), who i will call T, have a long term friend, E. The thing is, E has a son, who we will be calling Rat (because that's what he is), 18 years old. Rat and i knew each other from childhood, when we were 9, he even asked me to be his girlfriend, but we lost contact after that and both pretty much forgot the existence of one another. But my mom, in this party, decided to chat with E and Rat, and talked about me to Rat, who remembered me and got interested. He started to follow me on insta and we start to chat on whatsapp.
After only a few days talking, we decded to go out with a bunch of his friends, and in that night we kissed. After that, everything moved on really fast, we talked non-stop all day. 12 days after the kiss, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Yes, i know, i was stupid to accept it, but i was a naive girl, i did not have proper teen years because of the pandemic, and this with the "childhood boyfriend appears again" narrative, it was set for disaster since the start.
We started dating, the first month was magical, i am from the southern hemisphere, here january means vacation on the beach, and we spent a week together there. I lost my v-card with him in the beach also. It was good, his family was a bit weird, but i was dating him not his family right?
Things started going south after february, my birthday was in that month, he spent the party with me. Also, any oportunity we had to have sex, we did it, at first it was exciting, but after sometime, i just wanted some cuddles with my boyfriend without ending in sex, you know what i mean? But i couldn't bring myself to say it. Then the fights started. This was my first relationship, but it was Rat's 6th. Yeah big red flag that i also ignored, he also talked about all of his previous exes, everything, how they met, how the sex was, what went wrong, there was even one particular ex that he said "i think, if i hadn't been an asshole, i would still be together with her nowadays" LIKE BRO WTF???????
The fights were bad, like really bad, he would abuse my mental health to the edges, giving me silent treatment for days, texting dryly, if i met him, he would stare me with a face that it immediately made me hyperventilate. And everything resolved to me asking for forgiveness, but not only after i bawled my eyes out, harm myself (i would scratch my whole arms with my nails), and have panic attacks. He punished me like that, at least 2/3 times a month. But at the same time, every month he celebrated one more month of our relationships, posting long detailed texts about it in his stories, like really detailed, i felt exposed, our relationship had no privacy because of that. Butagain i did not feel in the right to complain, how many girls beg for one photo posted on stories? and i was receiving long texts, i shouldn't complain, right?
In the fourth month of the relationship, he was in a hurry to have sex, and tried to put it inside right away, i wasn't ready, i was still kind of dry, and the result of it was an vaginal fissure, please google about it for a proper description from a professional. It hurt like hell, it was one of the worst pains in my life, he immediatly pulled it out but the damage was done. Vaginal fissures can't fully heal, so to this day i still need to pay attention to it while having sex with my current partner. He said sorry a million times, none of us knew what was that at the time. I couldn't have sex for a month, and that got him frustated, he was trying not to show it, but it was obvious.
I will spare you all from some details in the next two months, because of the size of the text. The fights continued, and in the sixth and final month he abused me mentally through all of it, threatening with a break up. I lost 8 kg (about 17 pounds) in just 2/3 weeks, my ideal weight for my height is 60 kg (132 pouns) and i was exactly 60 kg before losing the 8 kg, so i was underweight, pale, i looked like a cadaver. Then he broke up with me for good, and i cried for days and days. After one week, he was alread posting stories going out with another girl, and i started going to the psychiatrist, who gave me two meds, an antidepressant and one for sleep. I was drugged with these two meds all the time, they were really strong, and the Rat knew that, he still kept touch with me, and he knew about the meds and my mental state.
Still knowing all of this, he still suggested to come in my house one day, when my mom wasn't around, and ww hook up. I was not in a mental state to say no, i was emotional dependent of him, full on meds, so i consented (even if my friends to this day say it was not consensual). We kept that for around 4 months, until he posted with another girl, calling her his girlfriend, and canceling the plans of coming to my house the very next day of the post. I was in shambles, i almost killed myself, i SHed myself multiple times, i wasn't sane.
I decided to stop seeing his posts, but even after starting dating this girl (Let's call her chaos, you'll understand why), he still contacted me regularly. Keep in mind this is like, already december 2022, one year after we started dating. In january 2023, i was feeling a bit back in my feet, despite he still contacting me while dating another girl. He never cheated her with me, never. In february i was accepted in the college of my dreams, he congratulated me. This college was a life changer, i became another person there, i was happier, i had new friends, i went to parties, 2023 was the best year of my life so far. He still contacted me sometimes, until like june, when i was finally fully aware of what he did to me, when he tried to contact me again, i blocked him, in everything, but i heard he was talking about me, because people told me. Reminding, he was in a relationship!!!
Ok, let's move to april 2024, i receive a dm from a girl i know, telling me the Rat asked her to say he was single again. I send her an audio with the most genuine laughter i left in YEARS. I told her i don't want any contact with him and she respected it and didn't push any further. Now, last week, may 15th, i receive an audio in whatsapp from a girl, it was an audio of the Rat, saying he wanted to see me "one last time" before going to live in another city next week. I was baffled, this girl insisted a bit, sending more audios he sent her to me. So i unblocked him, telling him to stop sending me "emissaries" to speak in his behalf, if he was blocked on everything it was for a reason. He tried to persuade me in meeting with him for "one last talk" but i refused, he said he missed me and he needed to see me one last time. I blocked him again.
Remember Chaos? That's when it clicked me, if i refused, he was probably going after her, so i found a friend me and Chaos had in common (i never spoke or met her in person before) and i asked the friend to warn her about the Rat. But Chaos wanted to chat with me, so i agreed. We started to chat, she asked some questions, apparently, she didn't know about all the times the Rat contacted me in 2023 while they were dating. She said she considers this as cheating, and i agree honestly. Anyways, that same day she discovered all of this from me, she called him for a talk in person. She exposed him about all his lies, he tried to get out lying more, but she was clever, she called him nothing more than a boy, not a man, a liar, and said he was just like his father (his father cheated on his mom and he hates his father). She left him broken, told him he was a product of a very bad sex.
But Chaos did not stopped her revenge there, she called me again, asking if i could go to a bar with her for some drinks. I agree, she wanted gossip, the two of us together, in our small town would give her that. We went to a bar, a bunch of his friends were there and saw us, eyes wide open. Not being so humble now, we are both very pretty women, i must say. We decided to drink, celebrating the rat going far away to another city. Then the rat appeared, joining his friends. We ignored him and continue driking and chatting. She is very nice, funny and a joy to talk, we talked for hours, with him staring us the whole time, he even sent a message to her saying "i hope you're having the fun you wanted so badly with this" and she laughed out loud when she read it, aswering "yeah it's amazing thanks!" And then she sent a pic of me and her, saying "consider this a farewell gift".
I was an amazing night, i felt like i was finally avenged, not only myself but all the girls that came before me and suffered in his hand. Chaos was fullfilled, he also abused her mentally, but she is a strong women and gave it back to him in the same energy, i wish i wasn't so fragile after my own break up with him, i wish i had been stronger like her, she is impressive.
Now me and her are messaging every person we know from the city he is currently moving in, talking about the abuser he is, alerting as many women as possible about him, because I don't wish it on anyone what us and many other women in my city suffered in his hands. Also i warned him if he ever tried to contact me again i will leak all of the prints of him abusing me verbally in texts, and the first person to read it all will be his mommy.
Thank you for reading this rant, i feel much lighter now, i feel free.

This post is part of a series of reviews. To see them all, click here.
Historical information found on Shannon O'Sullivan's Doctor Who website (relevant page here and the TARDIS Wiki (relevant page here). Primary/secondary source material can be found in the source sections of O'Sullivan's website, and rarely as inline citations on the TARDIS Wiki.

Serial Information

• Episodes: Season 19, Episodes 1-4
• Airdates: 4th - 12th January 1982
• Doctor: 5th
• Companions: Adric, Nyssa, Tegan
• Other Notable Characters: The Tremas Master
• Writer: Christopher H. Bidmead
• Director: Fiona Cumming
• Producer: John Nathan-Turner
• Script Editor: Eric Seward

Review

Welcome aboard. I'm the Doctor. Or will be if this regeneration works out. - The Doctor
This might not sound plausible at first blush, but Castrovalva might just be the strangest Doctor Who story ever.
Not in terms of content, the actual plot of Castrovalva while a bit mind bending, isn't that strange. But the actual way it's laid out, the pacing, the way it's constructed, it looks so different from anything else this show has done.
I mean, is Castrovalva even one story? Should I split the first half and the second half into different sections of this review? Into different reviews? Maybe it's best to start with how we got here.
Tom Baker was always going to be a challenge to replace. I think it's difficult to properly conceive of, in modern terms, how long Tom Baker was the Doctor. I mean, he held the role for seven seasons. He was The Doctor (the definite article, you might say), in popular consciousness. If you were a twelve year old kid who first started watching the show when he took over, you would have been an adult when he left. So, how do you replace that?
Well, what Producer John Nathan-Turner did next made a lot of sense. Tom Baker had been an unknown when he was cast. But now, having to replace him, JNT decided to take someone who was fairly well known. Nathan-Turner had worked as a production assistant on All Creatures Great and Small before becoming Doctor Who's producer. And one of its stars, Peter Davison, had achieved something of a following working on that show. The shorter, light-haired younger man was also a physical contrast to Tom Baker's imposingly large, dark-haired man. As a start for a new era, Davison was, it seemed, the ideal candidate.
So, naturally, Castrovalva does a lot of work trying to simultaneously convince us that this is both a brand new Doctor, but also very much still the same Doctor. Which is probably the reason for the very strange story structure. Castrovalva is pretty cleanly divided into halves. The trouble in the TARDIS section covering the first two episodes, and the portion actually set in the castle of Castrovalva, covering episodes three and four.
The first two episodes feel like they're trying to connect the Doctor back to previous incarnations. Peter Davison actually decided in rehearsal to perform several sections like he was previous iterations, and dialogue got rewritten to emphasize this (I'm especially pleased that he got in an impish giggle when he was channeling the 1st Doctor, as that's an oft overlooked element of William Hartnell's performance). There's also a pretty heavy emphasis placed on the relationship between the Doctor and the TARDIS in these two episodes. The TARDIS opens up a roundel to provide medicine, and offers the Doctor a wheelchair. We haven't really seen much evidence of the TARDIS having a mind of its own since, and this is going way back, The Edge of Destruction, but it still helps emphasize the idea of the Doctor still being the Doctor. After all, if the TARDIS is trying to take care of the Doctor, then clearly it's still the Doctor.
Though, as the Doctor admits, things are a lot rougher this time than in the past. Before this the Doctor has always regenerated in a relatively stable situation as an adventure was ending. Here, he's essentially dropped in mid-struggle with the Master and he just needs some rest in a calm place. A lot of stuff is thrown at us. Apparently the cure for post-regeneration trauma is simplicity – the more complex the environment the worse the symptoms. The TARDIS has a room for just such purposes, called a "Zero Room". In a worst case scenario (say, after you accidentally jettisoned the Zero Room to create thrust to escape the explosion of the Big Bang) the doors and walls of the Zero Room can be used to create a smaller "Zero Cabinet" which looks like a TARDIS interior-themed casket.
While that's going on, we get some of the most inane conversations you can imagine between Nyssa and Tegan. I like these bits in theory. Tegan and Nyssa are trying to work out a lot here after all. It's, for each of them, their first proper trip in the TARDIS, and what with the Doctor suffering the after-effects of regeneration and Adric off being weird (he's actually mental projection being controlled by the Master), the two of them have to figure out how to keep the Doctor healthy, stop the TARDIS from traveling directly into the creation of the universe (called the galaxy here because science fiction writers aren't scientists) and just generally hold things together. The problem is the actual dialogue is sheer nonsense. There's a lot talk about the power of the word "if". There's also a lot of talk about recursion which, while it's a theme of the overarching story had no place being introduced when it was.
This is all doubly frustrating because, if you remove Nyssa and Tegan's more vapid conversations from the equation, they have a pretty good story together. The basic idea of the front half of the story is that the two are left to work things out without the Doctor and Adric. It's a really effective way to put emphasis on the two newest members of the TARDIS team, who essentially just joined the TARDIS last story. Tegan working out the TARDIS controls (even though she doesn't really, it turns out the Master-controlled Adric projection did that for her), and Nyssa providing scientific explanations and useful context – they genuinely make a good team. There's a bit where the Doctor sets up how his new companions can thrive on their own. Adric of course has a mathematical genius, and as of the events of Logopolis you might as well say he's got magic. Nyssa has "technical skill and understanding" and Tegan is the "coordinator". And it actually plays out over the course of the story. It's just a shame that some of these conversation are so mindless.
That takes us into the second half of the story, where the Doctor gets to be a bit more active and we actually visit the planet/city/castle of Castrovalva. Throughout episode 3 Castrovalva is presented to us as a kind of ideal medieval-inspired society (lot of those lately). From the beginning though, something feels off. Something constantly feels artificial about Castrovalva, like it's setting is a little too idyllic and uncomplicated. And then there the seemingly sinister presence of Shardovan, the librarian who always seems to be skulking around. And then there's The Portreeve, a wise old man who always seems to know a little bit more than he should.
And that's all for good reason. Castrovalva is fake. The Master made it up, disguised himself as the Portreeve as a trap for the Doctor, using Adric's ability with block transfer calculations – he'd captured Adric at the beginning of the story. As always, the Master's greatest weakness is that he likes things to be grand and complicated, and so over the course of the two episodes the facade is slowly dismantled. And in a genuinely clever moment, the fake people that the Master has created aren't entirely happy about being used by him. "You made us, man of evil. But we are free," says Shardovan before he destroys the web that is holding Castrovalva together in a genuinely effective and cathartic moment.
And I do like how Shardovan, clearly set up to make us think he's the villain, and possibly even the Master, with his dark outfit, sinister stares, and heavy contrast to the more friendly attitudes of the rest of the Castrovalvans, turns out to be the person who's worked out that something is wrong with Castrovalva. It might not seem all that innovative, but at this point in Doctor Who's history it's genuinely hard to think of someone who was presented with so many of the superficial signifiers of being a villain but turned out not to be. It even makes sense internally. Castrovalva has intentionally been created to lull the Doctor into a false sense of security. So the one character who's not doing that turning out to be good is just a natural progression.
These episodes are also where we get a better sense of the Doctor. I'll admit that on past viewings, I never really cared much for Peter Davison's take on the Doctor, but on my current run through his era (as I've mentioned before, I'm always watching ahead while I'm watching for review) I've found him more compelling than I have in the past. Here he approaches Castrovalva with a kind of mad panic. Something is wrong here, but he can't quite place it. He's trying to solve the puzzle of what's wrong and it doesn't help that he's still recovering from his regeneration, something that doesn't really resolve itself until the end of the story. It's a solid contrast from Tom Baker's austere and eccentric Doctor, to Davison who brings a more manic energy. Today we're used to the Doctor being wild and high energy, but this is really the first time we get that kind of NuWhoish energy.
I'm still not gelling with Ainley's Master though. I enjoy him as the Portreeve here, playing the kind of wise old man who normally would be one of the Doctor's allies. Except the Portreeve always seems to know a little too much. Watching it back, there's definitely plenty to hint at the Portreeve's true nature. As the Master though…I don't know, it still just doesn't work for me. I like the Master's plan in this story, it's overcomplicated, but that's kind of the Master's MO. But Ainley just always seems to go a bit overboard in his portrayal.
I haven't really talked much about Adric this story, but that's because he doesn't really do much in this one. One of the challenges the show is going to have with three companions is finding something for each of them to do. In this story Adric is mostly sidelined. We get the, by now, well worn trope of Adric pretending to side with the villain of the story but it barely even lasts long enough to note. Mostly, Adric is used as a tool by the Master, very little more.
Castrovalva is, on the whole, a solid enough start to the 5th Doctor era, but I do have some pretty major reservations. The first half in particular is just full of these completely empty-minded conversations between Nyssa and Tegan that should have been good, but are just so poorly written. Things get better in the back half, but there's still some iffy bits. Still, I do like Castrovalva in spite of its flaws.
Score: 6/10

Stray Observations

• This was Eric Seward's first story as Script Editor. Previous Script Editor Christopher H. Bidmead wrote this story, effectively resolving the plot of prior story, also written by Bidmead, Logopolis.
• Starting with this story, Doctor Who began airing twice weekly, on Mondays and Tuesdays, as opposed to the once a week schedule it had been on since its debut.
• Peter Davison is credited as "The Doctor" for this story, rather than "Doctor Who" as was the case previously. The general belief seems to be that Peter Davison requested the change, and this certainly tracks with him being a big Doctor Who fan, but I wasn't able to find anything confirming this.
• The Portreeve is credited separately from the Master, even though Anthony Ainley plays both. He is credited as "Neil Toynay", an anagram of "Ton Ainley".
• Director Fiona Cumming had actually been involved with Doctor Who for a long time, her first job on the show being as an Assistant Floor Manager on The Massacre (1966). She was a production assistant on several shows, including Doctor Who during the 70s, and started directing in 1974 with an episode of Z-Cars. However the BBC didn't let her direct full-time and she became a freelance director in 1979.
• This story was actually filmed fourth in the season. While Davison has claimed this was done to give him more time to get familiar with the role, in reality it was simply a case of the first story idea to open the season, Project Zeta-Sigma proving unusable. This did have the unintended consequence that the series regulars were a bit to friendly with each other before Director Fiona Cuming had to remind them that, in story, they had all just met very recently.
• The plot was inspired by two MC Escher posters in the office of BBC Head of Drama Graeme MacDonald, which stuck with Bidmead. Producer John Nathan-Turner apparently hated the things, saying "art should be there to soothe, not distract" which is…certainly a take. The posters were of MC Escher painting "Ascending and Descending". Bidmead connected this to the mathematical and computer science concept of recursion (as noted when I covered Logopolis, Bidmead had an interest in computers).
• Apparently Peter Davison liked Castrovalva, but never quite understood what it was about.
• Episode 1 starts with a precredits sequence recapitulating the cliffhanger from Logopolis. It's the first time an episode has placed a scene before the credits. Notably the music is changed ever so slightly to be more optimistic, as Logopolis was the end of an era, but Castrovalva is the beginning of another one.
• The title sequence has been updated. It's the same one as the one used for Season 18, but the awkward picture of Tom Baker's face has been replaced with a perfectly reasonable picture of Peter Davison's. I'm still not fond of the starfield openings, but this is at least an improvement, however minor.
• In the first scene of the story proper, The Doctor and companions are running away from the Pharos Project guards. Tegan and Adric are supporting the Doctor's weight, and when Adric lets go, the Doctor collapses directly onto Tegan and it's actually fairly funny.
• So a second after claiming the only thing she knows about the TARDIS controls is the door mechanism, Nyssa activates the scanner via the TARDIS controls.
• In episode 1 we see the Doctor unravelling the 4th Doctor's iconic scarf to track his way through the TARDIS. I have seen people get so mad about this, but I actually think it's brilliant. It's a new era after all, and what a better visual metaphor for that is there than the Doctor unravelling his prior incarnations' most iconic item of clothing.
• When Nyssa mentions that the Zero Room that the Doctor asked to go to is probably a "neutral environment, cut off from the rest of the universe", Tegan suggests Brisbane.
• And of course the Doctor gets a new outfit. It's…fine. While the Season 18 version of the 4th Doctor outfit was too much of one color it was still built on the bones of a good look for the Doctor. But now we're very much in the JNT "uniform" style clothing. I'll admit, being an American, I wouldn't necessarily recognize a crickiter's outfit, much less an Edwardian one, if not for Doctor Who, but knowing that that's what it was based on really makes the whole outfit feel a bit gimmicky. As for the celery lapel…I don't get it. It's such a random and weird element, and I'm not sure what it's doing there (out of universe at least). I do like that the Doctor still has a hat. I like it when the Doctor has a hat. Not enough Doctors wore hats (Both Two and Eleven liked to pick up hats from time to time but they never held onto the things. The Doctors who held onto their hats were the Fourth Doctor's fedora, the 5th Doctor's Panama hat, and the 7th Doctor's straw hat.).
• The cricket outfit wasn't the first idea proposed for the Doctor's outfit. Initially he would have worn a polo outfit. Davison liked the sporting motif, but preferred cricket gear instead.
• Peter Davison was not a fan of the question mark lapels.
• The Doctor calling a wheelchair in episode 2 "transport of delight" is both a great line delivery by Davison, and a really early look into how the 5th Doctor sees things.
• Nyssa's outfit changes slightly throughout episode two. Her skirt is replaced with trousers, and she loses the velvet jacket and her ornamental comb on Castrovalva. The original costume was considered impractical, so the simplified version was designed.
• In episode 3 the Doctor eats a stick of celery. Notably for the man that would spend the rest of his time on the show wearing celery, Peter Davison actually hated the stuff, and immediately spit the celery out the moment they stopped filming.

Next Time: It's been three whole serials since we've had a story without the Master. So let's get some killer androids in here instead. Much better.

I just finished listening to the Teen Talk for the last episode of Season 2, and hearing about how much self-doubt Anthony felt reading the fan reactions to the second season, I felt the need to post about how much I personally loved Season 2: Legacy.
I am not on this subreddit often because I try to avoid engaging in discourse about a piece of media before I’ve cemented my own opinion about it. I think a lot of people would benefit from doing the same. I don’t even listen to the behind-the-scenes content until I’ve had time to digest the season. And I think if you go into the season fresh, without any preconceived notions about its “flaws,” you’ll have a very different experience with it.
Here are some of the things I loved, in no particular order:

• The pivot from S1 dads to S2 teens was such a boss move, particularly skipping a generation. I would have hated it if they’d just continued playing the S1 dads, even if they’d found a way to make it work mechanically. Getting to hear them play fresh characters with totally new personalities (except Will, who has one speed apparently) and explore new tropes and archetypes, while also getting to see what became of the kids from S1 and all the little mysteries about what happened in the time between the two seasons, made me leave S2 E1 invigorated. My buy-in at that point could not have been any higher.
• Speaking of feeling energized, the S2 theme song is such a bop. Huge improvement over S1 and (IMO) better than S3 as well. It helps make sure every episode ends on a high note.
• Personally, I liked the monster-of-the-week stuff and the structure of the early episodes. In fact, I was bummed that they abandoned it right when it felt like it was starting to find its footing, If they’d stuck with it for a dozen more episodes, I’d have been happy. I liked the later episodes too, but that early stuff where they’re still ostensibly in high school was such a good format that they could’ve explored more. It was basically Buffy meets Sailor Moon.
• Taylor Swift is much more likeable than Glen Close. Freddie is the one cast member who kind of grates on me, and I found him much more palatable this season. And speaking of Taylor, the recap where they did a parody of “One Week” is just flawless — perfectly encapsulating the episode while maintaining all the internal rhymes and polysyllabics of a rap could not have been easy. It also has one of my favorite lyrics ever: “Gotta get Hatsune Miku tunes ’cause that cartoon has got the boom vocaloid voice that gives Taylor a Swifty.”
• I also preferred Linc to Darrell. True to his paladin archetype, he was so pure and earnest, which I think plays to Matt’s comedic strengths (he is hilarious as the straight man, as the stand-up battle demonstrated — more on that later).
• And speaking of that recap, that scene where they played D&D on the Catbus and Scary just kept saying “no” was some of the funniest shit.
• What is more awkward than becoming a stepdad and having your stepson be a “junior”? Becoming a stepchild and having the same name as your new stepfather. Such a good setup.
• Loved Scary’s arc and how she went over to the dark side. It’s a bit tropey but I genuinely was not expecting it. I especially liked that Anthony built up her power level to be so much higher than the rest of the group’s and then made her a villain (or at least ambiguously on the other team).
• As much as I loved Rocks Rock EP, especially the title track, Sophomore Slump actually feels like it works as an album I enjoy listening to in addition to being funny, plus it fleshes out Scary’s character beautifully. So many clever and harrowing lyrics. Beth has a legit great voice for this genre of music, and it probably helps that I tend to like the kind of music they‘re parodying. “The Worst Thing in the World is Hope” could easily have been a Bright Eyes song, and I listen to it on repeat.
• Both episodes in Goof Realm were some of the funniest shit I have ever heard on a podcast, but particularly the stand-up one. It amazes me that Anthony keeps coming up with new and audacious ways to break the game. (And he was robbed of the win in that stand-up competition, although narratively I’m happy the teens won.)
• Dood is one of my favorite NPCs. I loved that they were just this distilled essence of teenage energy — awkward, unsure of themselves, highly suggestible. I also liked where they went with the Doodler leading up to this, but having them take the form of Dood and get embraced by this friend group is just *chef’s kiss*.

There are some little things I would have done differently in S2 (mostly that some story beats felt rushed or a little railroaded), but overall I can’t think of a better way they could have handled it. It was fresh, exciting, took the lore in some intriguing new directions, and the highlights of the season were easily on par with the best moments of Season 1. It’s honestly really impressive they were able to pull all that off, even if it didn’t always pan out the way they’d hoped. I’m personally really glad they tried something new that got them excited as players and creators, as opposed to running the same characters until they or the audience got bored. I loved S1, but we had 69 episodes of the S1 dads — a nice, round number. They had a complete story arc. I’m happy those characters are pretty much in the vault, except for cameos and live shows, and that they get to play around with new characters and new plotlines.
Season 3 feels very different so far, but I have a lot of faith in this team and I’m sure it’ll be brilliant too.

Thank you to u/SpacePaladin15 for creating the NoP-verse and allowing fanfics!
This is a sequel to The Way of the Human!
Prequel startPrequel endFirstPrevious
Memory transcription subject: Thass, Arxur-UN Cooperative Liaison
Date [standardised human time]: 27th of November, 2136
I had decided to leave the camp for the night, still furious at the implication the Zurulian medic had made. To even suggest I would be defective in such a way that I would fall for prey... It sickened me. Barisis was a pet at best, a meal at worst. Agreements with humanity be damned, I would eat her if she also tried to suggest such a thing.
The temporary residence I had chosen was an abandoned home, likely left behind by the prey that once lived there, possibly even killed during the Dominion's short lived hold on this world. The entire building felt cramped for my large frame, but it sufficed. I didn't plan to stay here for long.
Foolishly I hadn't brought any rations with me, meaning that I would go hungry for as long as I was away, assuming I didn't find anything edible out here. While I was far from a stranger to going without a meal for extended periods of time, having once been under the gluttonous Vizz's command, my time with the humans had spoiled me, and now I was starting to get used to always going to sleep on a full stomach.
Abundance can be just as much a curse as it can be a blessing, it turns out. I've almost forgotten what it's like to starve. Maybe it's a good thing that I didn't have good with me. Keeps me from getting pampered.
The home wasn't unpleasant to view, though aesthetics hardly made my hunger any better. Prey were so often focused on form over function. All that was left behind was prey feed, which was inedible to me. The dilapidated bed was comfortable enough, so I doubted I would have trouble sleeping in spite of the gnawing hunger.
But just as I felt ready to try to sleep, or more accurately seethe and stew in my thoughts, I just barely heard the front door open. It seemed some foolish prey had unknowingly stepped into a newly claimed predator's den. Perhaps this was the homeowner, now returning only to find a nasty surprise waiting for them.
By the Prophet, am I hungry. Maybe... just one Harchen civilian won't be missed, will they?
Stealthily I rose from the soft mattress. My drowsiness was gone in a flash, replaced by hunter's instinct. A miniscule part of me felt bad for them, but sometimes fate was just cruel.
Sneaking through the door and into the wider building, I heard the steps approaching my position. I hid in the hallway gap, ready to pounce. As soon as I saw even the slightest bit of movement, the morsel that stepped in here would be dead.
A shadow approached from the side, illuminated through the windows by streetlights. And when they unwittingly closed the gap, I launched myself through the air, triumphant in my catch, and I prepared to bite down on...
"Barisis?"
"Hi..." whimpered the Kolshian. What the fuck was she doing here?! Had she followed me? If so, why? Didn't she understand that I was a killer to be feared!?
She squirmed in my grasp, far more uncomfortable with my jaw around her now than she did earlier today. Fear was in her eyes now. "Um... you gonna let me go?"
I could explain away her disappearance, couldn't I? There are pockets of resistance all over this city, who was to say I'm the one who nabbed her?
But as I looked at her again... Maybe it was a moment of weakness, or a lapse in better judgement. Whatever it was, it made me let her go.
"What the fuck are you doing our here?" I questioned the reckless prey, pulling her up on her two legs with my superior strength.
"Someone needed to go out and find you, and I volunteered," she answered simply. "You can't just fuck off into the city without telling anyone where you're going or how long you'll be."
I snorted in disbelief. "And they let you out here, alone and unarmed, in this highly unsafe city?"
"They did neither," she said, placing a tentacle upon a chest-holster. Doing so made her realise that the gun had flown out when I pounced her, and she grumbled in annoyance before looking around to search for it. "Shit. You're a prick, you know that?"
"You've become incredibly bold, little prey," I commented. "Insulting a superior being and thinking there won't be any consequences."
"Because there are none, you ass," retorted the Kolshian, walking all around the house, trying to find the lost gun. "You're all petals and no pollen."
"What?"
"Aafan term, means you won't follow up on your threats," she explained, a definite cheekiness in her tone.
I couldn't help but chuckle at her behaviour. "You're tempting me to break the trend. And while you've shown you're not defenceless, in theory anyway, you haven't explained how you're not alone."
"We split up, but Hans and Jesper are also looking for you. I'll radio in and tell them I've found you," she said, now kneeling down on the floor, still searching.
She made a noise of accomplishment, indicating that she had found the weapon, but then sighed in disappointment. After the mix of emotions, she tried to reach under a low-to-the-floor piece of furniture which served a purpose unknown to me. Her attempts to reach the weapon had her entire torso on the floor, swiping a tentacle under the tight space. The position she was in resulted in her bottom half-poking up into the air, swaying slightly thanks to her attempts to grab the gun.
I... why do I... like this view? What is this feeling? It's like hunger, but... Maybe it's just because it's been a while since I was this hungry. Yes, it's hunger. The lower part of her is plump, which would make good eating. The lack of food is messing with my head. Yes, that's what's happening. It's just her appetising form that's enticing to my starved mind.
She groaned in frustration, not being able to reach the gun she'd been given. "Help me out here, would you?"
While I wanted to help, I was too enamoured to look away from her form. I was drinking it all in, imagining how her delicious flesh might taste.
"I, ah... Yes, of course," I muttered, grabbing the entire object and moving it somewhere else. The prey doctor had now retrieved her weapon, seeming pleased about it.
Remembering what she said about informing the human command about where I was, I decided to scarf the topic down while it was still bite sized.
"You can tell the humans I'm here if you like," I stated, getting her attention. "But that doesn't mean I'll return."
She sighed, but didn't seem surprised. "I figured you'd say that, actually. That's why I brought this," she gestured at a bag wrapped around her that I hadn't noticed until now.
I failed to see what that had to do about it. "And? What's so important about the bag?"
She opened it, pulling out meat ration cans. She had brought food for me, predicting that I'd decline to return to camp. That was... considerate.
"Uh... Appreciate it," I muttered, grabbing one of the cans and opening it with my claw and quickly wolfing down its contents. Perhaps she had known how hungry I would be, and figured that bringing me food would save her. That was very clever thinking on her part.
Hopefully filling my stomach up a bit will stop my hunger-addled mind from fantasising about eating her.
She then retrieved a communicator from the bag and spoke into it. "Come in Captain, I've found the target. Seems we won't be returning to base tonight."
"What?" Both Hans and I said simultaneously.
"He's refusing to return, so I'm doing to stay with the big idiot and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."
There was a moment of silence from the radio before the human responded. "Very well. Good luck with him, Barisis. Call us back in the morning so we know you haven't been chomped on."
I looked at her with great confusion. "Why?"
"I explained it already when I spoke to Hans, which you definitely heard," she sighed, sounding exasperated. "Are you dense?"
"You little-... You think you're so funny don't you?," I hissed, but I was unable to hide my amusement.
I felt an aura of smugness emanate from her as she replied. “You certainly seem to think I am, you big oaf.”
“Get me another can of meat, or I'm taking a chunk of you instead,” I commanded, not wanting to let her feel like she had won.
“Grumpy, grumpy,” Barisis joked as she reached for another ration. “Is the baby hungwy?”
She let out a yelp of surprise as I grabbed her by the torso, holding her up in the air and leaving her face mere [millimeters] from my snout. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.”
“Yes, okay, okay!” she shouted in panic as she squirmed in my grasp. “Just let me go, you bastard!”
I dropped her to the floor, making her land on all fours, huffing and gasping for air. Apparently I had squeezed a bit too hard when I took her off the ground.
“You're a dick, you fucking know that?” she cursed.
I laughed. “Learn to stop disrespecting me, prey.” She knew what would happen, but still she kept poking me, and now she was upset about the consequences? Such leaf-licker thinking.
“Then be worthy of respect, dammit!” spat the medic. “All you've done is be a massive asshole who threatens to kill anyone who ribs you!”
“Do you forget that my people are of a solitary culture?” I reminded the cocky Kolshian. “All the constant socialisation grinds my patience down to a fine powder. Despite having no obligation toward preykind like yourself, I still allowed you multiple chances to back off on your own.”
She glared at me with pure, unmistakable fury, before hurtling a ration can right into my snout with a surprising amount of force. I roared in pain and grabbed her, pinning her to the wall with one arm more than a [meter] above the ground.
“I should eat you alive for that, I truly should,” I growled, running my tongue across her face, making her shiver. “Do you think any other Arxur would tolerate even a fraction of what you disrespectful little fucker say and insinuate? All of you should be thanking every god, deity, saint and prophet in the Federation that I haven't ripped the lot of you to shreds.”
Barisis whimpered, struggling to speak. “Sh- she was-” she hacked a cough in my face,” -right.”
“Who was? Tell me now and I won't cunting gut you.”
“Hel…” she whispered in pain. “You really do have-” wheeze “-a thing for me.”
I dropped her like she was searing hot, backing away from the mad Kolshian. After what I just did to her, she could say that in seriousness?!
Why won't this accursed appetite leave me? Why do I still want to devour her? I had a filling meal!
“Just fuck off, please,” I half demanded, half pleaded. “You're making my hunger instincts go wild. If you value your own life, you'd leave this entire block.”
She stood up, and walked right up toward me, staring into my eyes like a human would. “No.”
“DO IT!” I roared. “That damn Zurulian is right, I do have a soft spot for you, so fucking leave before I lose control over my instincts… please...”
This admittance to weakness made me nauseous, but it was no lie. In spite of her wretched behaviour and smugness, I’d grown fond of the little Kolshian that had travelled so far from home and nearly got devoured by my former superior.
I should feel ashamed, and yet I don't. I only feel… relief. What the fuck had this creature done to me?
…
FUCKING DAMN IT, I DON'T WANT TO BE WEAK! I DON'T WANT TO EAT HER! I WANT HER TO GO AWAY! I WANT HER TO STAY! ARGH, WHY IS MY MIND SUCH A TERRIBLE MESS?
I was on the floor, doing everything in my power to resist giving in to weakness and bawling. Why had I become so defective? What had gone so wrong? When I came to Earth I was fierce, powerful, strong. Now, on Fahl, I was weak, pathetic and broken. I had become more unworthy than even fucking Vizz.
“Thass…”
Barisis moved towards me with slow, careful steps. Hesitantly, she placed a tentacle on my shoulder. I didn't shy away from it. I couldn't, unless I wanted to look even weaker than I already was and cry my eyes out.
The Kolshian wrapped her other limb around me, holding me in an embrace that I should've found disgusting, but instead craved in a way that did not befit a member of my species. “It's okay, big guy, I'm here. Everything's going to be okay.”
Her head leaned against mine, and I gave in to the weakness. Tears began to flow from my eyes as I remained curled up in a ball, holding my tail tight to my body.
“I'm right here, Thass..”
Why won't that fucking urge to eat her just leave my mind already…?

So Season 36 is in the books. Kind of crazy that there have been 36 seasons of the show now. Now I honestly had no idea until after the premiere that this season was in fact filmed before 35, and was still sort of a Covid season, with no airports and staggered start times, as well as an abnormal route. While this season wasn’t as restrictive as the last few before 35, it was still noticeable. Not leaving the Americas was rough, but I think they did a decent job of it. They still had a lot of cool locations to work with, I especially enjoyed the Caribbean legs in Barbados and the Dominican Republic, two places we’ve never seen and a region we’ve only seen maybe twice in the whole show (Jamaica is the only other Caribbean location I recall). The challenges were overall not too bad. They’re still not quite what they used to be but I think they’ve improved in that regard recently. They really need to work on the Detours though, there were some this season that seemed so insanely unbalanced (The Jeep one in leg 3 seemed impossible). As for the cast, I really liked it. No gimmick teams at all, just a lot of normal people. Even though about half of these teams could have been first boot material on many other seasons (it took us until the final 6 on a 13 team season to be left with competent teams), it led to some extreme entertainment in the early legs getting to see some amazing incompetence. The winners were satisfying, even if very anticlimactic. Overall, this was a decent season, somewhere in the middle of the rankings. The biggest drag on it was probably the longer episodes. This season was filmed as a regular, 60 minute episode season, and most of these episodes could really drag and had obvious filler in them. Anyway, lets get to the teams.

1. Maya & Rohan: Just like last season, the superfans were gone first. Not a great look for that demographic, and a stark reminder of how knowledge of the show means almost nothing. They were really sweet and it was great to see how excited they were to be on the show, especially Rohan. It honestly does kinda suck to finally go on the Amazing Race and then be the first out and only go to Mexico. What did them in was bad navigation, especially on the way to the first clue. Getting stuck at the dead end and having to turn around was quite funny. Not much else to say, having to fight for screentime with 12 other teams is hard.
   
2. Chris & Mary: I have to say I liked casting a team like this. They kinda stopped doing it for a while with a bunch of young influencer casts but going back to having some sacrificial lamb teams that just have no chance is great. Seriously they must have cast them knowing they’d go quick because I don’t think Chris would be able to handle a lot of the physicality we saw in this season, even in the next leg climbing up all those steps. When he fell right at the starting line I knew it was gonna be rough, and then in their boot episode he almost vomited just from walking around. They were very sweet though, they had a cute relationship and Mary was so nice and patient with him. I think they knew they were never going to win and were just trying to enjoy themselves. Despite being extremely weak physically, what slowed them down a lot was bad navigation, and I think they definitely could have survived the leg had they done a little better in that regard. Anyways, they were a good addition to the season and I think fulfilled the role casting wanted them to have
   
3. Anthony & Bailey: I loved these guys. Yes I’m sure some people don’t like them for how woefully bad and nonchalant they were at the race, but once again they were probably cast for their entertainment value, which they had. All their airhead moments were very funny to me, and it was enjoyable to just see them bumble around for a few legs. Even I was surprised how early they went though, I thought they were athletic enough to last until the final 8 or so, but their indecisiveness at the Detour is what killed them. The Detour that episode was insanely imbalanced, the Jeep Detour seemed extremely difficult, I just have no idea why they went back to it without even trying the cooking. Had they not done that they almost certainly would have survived the leg. I was really hoping to see them and their antics for a bit longer, but they were just so incompetent they had to go. They made a fun addition to the first three episodes though.
   
4. Michelle & Sean: The fact they lasted as long as they did showed what a trainwreck season this was. From being bad jumping through ropes despite owning a double dutch business, to doing the challenges out of order, to taking forever to go down a hill, to the disaster of their last leg, they were BAD. They were perfectly fine people, but man in terms of the race they had nothing going for them. They were weak physically, mentally, and navigationally. Ultimately what did them in was Michelle being totally lost at the Roadblock. I don’t even think she ever finished it from the looks of it. I did feel bad for Sean going down the hill because you could tell he was genuinely terrified, but it’s the Amazing Race, and having to watch that was kind of pathetic. Having Phil jump rope after they were eliminated was cute. Once again though, perfectly fine people and it was fun to watch them bumble through a few legs, but they never had a chance.
   
5. Kishori & Karishma: Very fun team. I definitely see why people didn’t like them as they could be quite annoying, but I mostly found them entertaining. Definitely wasn’t rooting for them, but it was clear they really had no shot. They just brought a general level of silliness to a season that was already full of a lot of silliness and incompetence. It’s honestly impressive they lasted as long as they did, given how incompetent they were. They just messed up a lot of little things, like not putting on the outfit for the roadblock in the first leg or skipping a clue in leg 2. By the time their last leg came around they just couldn’t keep up with the competition, their slowness at the Roadblock especially is what did them in. Think they went at the perfect time, I think they definitely could have started to get more on my nerves if they lasted longer.
   
6. Derek & Shelisa: One of my favorite teams of the season. At first I was rooting for them because they seemed like a likable older couple, and I’m always a sucker for older teams. But then as time went on I started to like them for a different reason: It became evident how much Derek sucks. Despite talking a big game and acting all macho, Derek was an extremely incompetent and poor player. Just to hear him talk himself up so much and then fail at almost everything their last few legs, especially the last one was great. He got lost all the time (that was probably on Shelisa too though) and then just sucked at some of those challenges, like the throwing Detour in their last leg, and then he even was tapping out at the bike Detour they switched too! And whatever chance they still had was gone after he struggled so much at the Roadblock. Shelisa seemed perfectly fine though and had the patience of a saint dealing with this guy. I don’t think Derek is a bad guy or anything though, but I kinda enjoyed seeing him get some humble pie.
   
7. Sunny & Bizzy: A fun underdog team. Basically their whole time in the race they were at the back of the pack, but the fact they hung on as long as they did was quite impressive. They had some clutch moments where they were able to save themselves from a likely elimination, like in legs 4 and 5 where they were in a pretty clear last and were able to make up ground at the roadblock. They had perhaps the funniest moment of this season when they failed miserably at the Detour in leg 4, with, and I quote, “Mama rat took baby rat skiing around the world, they did some yoga, and that was a positive experience.” That was priceless. They were just a badass team all around, being two firefighter moms. Ultimately though their biggest weakness was navigation, and by their last leg the competition was just too tough for them to keep up, especially with how much they struggled to find the Detour clue.
   
8. Angie & Danny: They will probably go down as one of the most unfair eliminations in Amazing Race history. The fact that they got delayed up to 90 minutes because of a production error was absolutely ridiculous, and they honestly should have gotten some sort of time credit or non-elimination for it, even though I’m sure that would have messed up the rest of the race. It sucks even more that this happened to such a likable and rootable team. Danny was probably one of the strongest individual race players we’ve ever seen, being amazing with directions and good at basically every challenge he did. Angie was definitely along for the ride, and she struggled quite a bit with being able to keep up and in Roadblocks, but I do think she improved as the race went on. I was always skeptical of their alliance with Amber & Vinny and Rod & Leticia, but ultimately it seems like it was the right idea as the other two teams did help them a few times when I thought they would just ditch them when the tables were turned. I really hope they, or at least Danny with somebody else, can come back because his love for the race and wonderful personality and attitude really were a bright spot in this somewhat mediocre season.
   

5th. Yvonne & Melissa: Despite lasting so long on a season with 90 minute episodes, there’s really not much I can say about them. Historically shows like Survivor and to a lesser extent The Amazing Race have had some pretty uneven edits that just shaft some teams, but with more equitable attitudes now and longer runtimes we have seen these shows get a lot more even handed with their edits. But Yvonne & Melissa were basically the one exception this season, and I’m not sure why. My biggest guess is that 1. They just weren’t that interesting and 2. They were always in the middle of the pack. They mentioned this in their last leg that they were purposefully flying under the radar and being quiet, which doesn’t really translate well to TV. And the middle of the pack always gets the least attention in an episode, especially early on in the season, and the fact that literally every leg they were smack dab in the middle just really hurt them. In leg 3 I don’t think they had any airtime at all. They were fine though, they were nice enough and a little snarky which I liked. I just wish they told their story a little more, like in their last leg when Melissa just dropped that she did security for Joe Biden, like what?? Either way though they really had no chance on their last leg after the first roadblock. There was very little opportunity to pass teams after that, even though they weren’t too far behind Amber & Vinny so had they finished the baseball roadblock a little faster they might have been able to pull it out. Their elimination episode was just a little anticlimactic because I just knew there was no way such an invisible team would be in the finale.
4th. Amber & Vinny: My guess is that this was the most disliked team this season, but I didn’t mind them. It’s funny because I used to hate all the fighting couples on the Amazing Race, but now to have one again is kind of a breath of fresh air, just like on Survivor there’s just so much positivity on the show now that it’s a little boring/annoying sometimes. To be clear as well, Amber & Vinny didn’t even fight that bad, but they did have some good drama moments. I don’t think Vinny is a bad guy but he seems to just naturally be kind of an asshole, but you can see him try to fight that and reign it in. Amber seemed nice if a little sensitive, which combined with Vinny’s personality led to lots of the arguments. They did seem to love each other and the proposal when they were eliminated was cute. As for what did them in, they had almost no margin for error on their last leg. Having the staggered start times on a leg with little opportunity to make up time put them at a disadvantage, and they were just a little too slow, especially at the drink making detour. If they had just done that a little better they likely would have pulled ahead of Ricky & Cesar. It was for the best though because even though I didn’t dislike this team I was definitely rooting for Ricky & Cesar more in that matchup.

1. Rod & Leticia: Surprisingly ended up being my favorite team this season. Ricky & Cesar just weren’t as fun for me, and I honestly wasn’t that crazy about Angie so she dragged that team down a little bit. At the start I didn’t think much of these two, with Rod seemingly like just some jock and Leticia seeming pretty shallow. But as time went on I began to really like these two, Leticia proved to be a pretty smart individual and Rod’s personality and positivity was just infectious. His work-hard play-hard attitude was just great, in many cases it wasn’t his big muscles that pushed him through but just a strong drive and determination. They were an extremely well functioning couple, knowing each other’s strengths and weaknesses and using that to their advantage, and they almost never lost their patience with each other. I was really rooting for them to win, but given Rod’s status as an NFL player I doubt they needed the money as much so it was okay. What did them in was a final leg not designed for their strong suits, as it ended with two straight memory challenges and then a puzzle, with them not doing great at any of them, especially Rod at the Declaration of Independence challenge, it seemed like they were there a LONG time, given that Juan & Shane went to another state and were still able to pass them later on. Really fun team though.
   
2. Juan & Shane: Nice guys. Unfortunately not much more to say than that. They were probably the team I wanted to win the least out of the final 3, but it didn’t come from any dislike. It’s just we had just seen the young fit guys win the race, and I was ready for something different. They had a cool story though and you could just tell what great friends these guys were. They got along and knew how to work with each other, which likely came from being in the military together. I really liked Juan in particular, he definitely seemed to carry the team more than Shane, was a really down to earth guy, and had an interesting story about his upbringing in Colombia, which I wish we had learned more about. These guys were a very well rounded team who performed well basically through the whole race, and I think they would have gotten more credit for that had they not been overshadowed by the race monsters that were Ricky & Cesar. Their decision to do the seaweed detour in Barbados was an especially good decision that likely saved them that leg. They definitely would have had a shot the last leg though had they not gotten so lost finding the cheesesteak restaurants, which was basically entirely the fault of that random guy saying they were pizza places, lol. The fact that they went all the way to New Jersey and still rebounded for a second place finish was very impressive though.
   
3. Ricky & Cesar: The most dominant team in Amazing Race history? Seriously, it was insane how these guys absolutely dominated from start to finish, with the one exception of the second to last leg where they had a close call with Amber & Vinny after really struggling at the windsurfing roadblock. Other than that it’s hard to think of many other times they even somewhat struggled, I guess maybe the rally car challenge in the megaleg? But the fact they were able to beast at such a wide variety of challenges was super impressive, especially in a 13 team season, never finishing outside the top 3, and only once outside the top 2 is insane. They were such a nice team too, they were so sweet and friendly to everyone they interacted with, they were huge fans of the race, and were always so humble despite the way they dominated the race. Even though they could be a little dull at times, and having to basically always watch them in a fairly commanding first got a little tiresome. But they absolutely deserved this win more than anyone else, and to hear they would use the money to start a family was such a sweet ending.