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My Madness Combat Episode Ranking
2024.05.21 12:00 JohnPoopsTV My Madness Combat Episode Ranking
This is my Madness Combat ranking. This is entirely my personal opinion. I have watched this series since around 2004 on Newgrounds, and a huge supporter of Krinkels' work. So I must point out that I do not believe a single episode is bad. I believe all of the episodes are top tier, this is just my ranking of where I think they stand out in terms of quality, length, story, music/sfx etc.. So if you see your favourite episode low down, just remember it's not bad, I just feel that there may be an episode that's better! This is also just the mainline series, so no canon shorts such as An Experiment or Dissenter, Marshmallow Madness, and no Dedmos Adventures. Although if I had to rank Dedmos in this list, it'd probably come 4th place, or something. This was a hard ranking, given how amazing each episode is, so having the canon shorts/spin-offs would be more difficult, given how much Krinkels' artstyle and animation has improved since Madness 11. The earlier rankings are going to be the hardest, but I will put nostalgia aside and rank based on quality and other factors.
15. Madness Combat
In last place, kind of predictable, but the first episode. Obviously just because nostalgia aside, every episode that came after it has raised the bar in so many ways. However, we mustn't forget the classic soundtrack, the lack of blood, the first canon entry of Jeb and Hank, a literal cannon - this is where it all started. It knows what it is, it's a classic. It's where Madness began.
14. Madness Redeemer
Again like before, an absolute classic and it's where I believe that Madness Combat in its current form truly began. We've got introductions of the Sheriff, The Clown, Jeb was brought back. This is also where the Tricky Saga started to take shape. Again I do feel that everything that came after it was just better in quality, but there is loads to love about Redeemer.
13. Madness Combat 7.5
May be a bit controversial, but 7.5 ranks lower. I think it's universally agreed that 7.5 is the least interesting .5 episode. It doesn't feel like it contrasts well with the zaniness and horror of Madness 7. In some capacity, I feel that you need to pair the .5's with their mainline counterparts, and this episode, whilst good, is just the opposite of Consternation. The soundtrack is also one of my least favourites. This one just felt a bit like a filler episode. It's still a great entry, especially given the time it came out, but I'd say this is the most 'run of the mill' episode pre-modern Krinkels.
12. Madness Avenger
Avenger is very much a classic. This is where the Improbability Drive was introduced and the main story started to take shape. I think Redeemer is where the violence and John Wick style animation began, but I feel the story truly jumped after Avenger. This was the second episode I ever watched and I still hold it in very high regard. I think this is the episode people think of when someone says 'Madness Combat', if you were skulking around Newgrounds back in the early 00's.
11. Madness Depredation
Depredation was the 3rd episode I ever watched. I remember seeing the thumbnail plastered everyone on flash animation websites. This is where Hank got his iconic look - this episode is just batshit crazy. If someone mentions Madness Combat and you don't think of Avenger or Consternation, then you probably remember the Depredation and onward looks. There's just so much to love here. The hard pounding soundtrack from Cheshyre let's you know that this is hardcore. Removing the nostalgia I'd say it doesn't have a lot to offer in terms of story until the very end, but man when this came out it was one of my favourites and still is, I just believe that the other episodes have a lot more to say.
10. Madness Inundation
When this first came out, it was sort of controversial, if I remember correctly. With Hank dead at the end of Consternation, I saw tons of comments and forum posts, including some from myself... is Hank coming back? Is this the end? No one really predicted that Jeb would get his own episode, and looking back, I love this episode. I wasn't a huge fan back in 2008, and I would have ranked it near the bottom just out of spite for not getting Hank. But this episode, looking at it today, is brilliant. Jeb is such a cool protagonist, being able to fly, use his powers, catch bullets, the iconic sniper rifle opening, API's soundtrack. The Magnum. I could go on, honestly. I think this is one of the highlights of the series, because at the time, we genuinely thought this was the final episode, and Krinkels' posts, or lack thereof, around that time, sort of gave the impression that this would be the case. The episode feels very much centred around doom, and the end of things as we know it, especially during normality restoration. I think this is where subtle hints surrounding the Madness universe (or Nevadean universe... maybe?) started to take shape. Thankfully, it wasn't the end. It was unfortunately, so far, the end of Jeb, which is a damn shame. I hope Krinkels reconsiders down the line, but for now, he joins the Sheriff being the only two characters to die, seemingly forever, and go to "regular Hell".
9. Madness Apotheosis
Apotheosis is the very first episode I watched back in 2004, so naturally I do have some tiny amount of bias. This is where Krinkels found his footing - quite literally. Characters now have two feet, animation is a lot smoother, another iconic bandage look from Hank following Avenger... again, before getting Depredation, similar to Inundation as well, this truly looked like the end.
8. Madness Combat 5.5
This may also be controversial. But I firmly believe 5.5 is actually better than the episode it's structured around. Again, these earlier rankings are hard as I am trying to not see it through nostalgia, but rather quality. I think 5.5 just has so much to say, the iconic opening, mixed with the soundtrack. It fits perfectly with the lore, and actually makes Depredation a much better episode. Again, the issue with Depredation is that the intro is just run of the mill, up until the mid-point and ending, which only serves, at the time, a continuation in the form of Antipathy. 5.5 is where things tied together very nicely. This is also the introduction of Sanford and Deimos who would go on to become much loved characters in the Madness canon. Given how they just seem like random grunts in Depredation (which, at the time, they likely were), Krinkels managed to give them a whole side quest, which ties in very nicely with the main story. It's also the first time where two protagonists are on screen and are actually doing something, which I'll explain later. Other than that, great episode!
7. Madness Antipathy
The sixth Madness episode is also quite the anomaly. What I failed to realise as a kid is that each episode pretty much ends on a somewhat cliffhanger, but a cliffhanger where it could continue, and it also doesn't have to. 2006 was a huge year for animated sequels, with Madness 6, Killing Spree VI and Joe Zombie: Episode 6, ironically, all the 6's. There's a few others to mention, but we'd be here all day. I love Hanks look in this episode, with his exposed jaw after being pummelled to heck by Tricky in episode 5. The stab wound with the smiley face. Just do what comes natural. Have to mention while I love Cheshyre's Trainmadness soundtrack, we also have to give a shoutout to the creepy opening music MADNEWAT, and API's fast, twitchy techno music in the first half. I mention this because Hank seems very twitchy in this episode, and I love it. It's also carried over in 9.5 too, which is nice to see. The gore is great, especially with the axe and P90 at the end, the train, Jeb working a normal job post Depredation... I think this is where Madness truly reached the point of 'crazy' and set the stage for every episode that came after it.
6. Madness Aggregation
Aggregation is the 9th episode in the Madness canon, and was certainly a surprise to see. This is Krinkels' experimental phase, and you can see it throughout the episode. It was the first episode (if I remember correctly) to have two protagonists on screen at the same time (or three, if you count dead/carried Hank). This is where my problems begin, however. You can certainly tell it was the first time, a lot of my issues with this episode center around Sanford or Deimos sort of standing around doing nothing whilst the other is causing mayhem. Apart from that though, it was nice to see them again, especially after watching the .5's years later. On rewatch, I hold it in much higher regard now that we have context for the canon. This is also where Hank is revived and would set up another event in the form of 9.5 later down the line. It is weird to see Hank as a Mag, and it's doubly sad to see that Deimos did not make it, but this episode is baller. The soundtrack as well, definitely fits the opening with our heroes driving and evading enemies. I can't pinpoint it, but the soundtrack definitely feels like a dual protagonist sound. In terms of story, it sticks very well.
5. Madness Combat 6.5
There is so much to love about 6.5. I think it's honestly the best .5 episode pre-Madness 11 era. 2009-2011 was a very experimental phase, but it definitely paid off. I just love how seamlessly 5.5 and 6.5 come together when watched one after the other, or in one big video (props to the folks who put those 'In Real-time' videos together). The wounded Sanford, the train tracks, it certainly gives a lot of context for what is going on, wordlessly. This is where they started to get their iconic looks. Whilst 7.5 didn't really offer anything substantial, 5.5 and 6.5 are truly magnificent episodes that are held in high regard. The reason I ranked 5.5 lower is that it's just to give you an idea of what's happening around Depredation and Antipathy, whereas 6.5 feels like its own episode. The soundtrack is one of my favourites too. The animation was getting more and more fluid, and given that this came out before Madness 10, it's quite amazing how much of the animation style here is carried over into the later episodes.
4. Madness Consternation
Episode 7 is one of my all-time favourites, for sure, and I think this rings true for a lot of people in the community. Even though it's not ranked at number 1, I'd still say it's among my personal favourite episodes. The soundtrack and eerie vibe of the demonic Clown gives the episode a real horror angle that I always scared me in a way, as a kid. There's also things I never noticed back in 2007, that I notice today, such as 'DISSENTER BE DAMNED' written on the walls where the spiked agents are. This is cool nowadays since 9.5 expands on retention and dissenters, so even though it may not have been intended at the time (or if it was, Krinkels was certainly quiet about it), it tells a lot without any words and fits the story very nicely. Again, it's another pick for my "this is the Hank you think about when someone mentions Madness Combat" list. There are so many. But I love Hank's ninja wraps and red goggles. I feel this is when his image improved each episode. Cheshyre's Madness7 soundtrack is close to my all time favourite, and I still blast it in the car to this day. Also, chainsaw Hank is MVP.
3. Madness Expurgation
This might be a little controversial depending on who you ask, but I think Expurgation fits nicely in 3rd place within this ranking. It's one of my favourites and is probably one of the craziest episodes to date. I think the issue I have with this episode is the lack of blood. I think Madness has always been memorable for the amount of gore, blood and ways that the enemies are killed. I don't have an issue with the black blood from the clown minions, but the gore just feels a bit lessened here, in my opinion anyway. That, however, does not stop this from being an all time great. 7 years, 7 months and 7 days, and it was well worth the wait after being teased for so long. This is truly a highpoint in the Madness canon, where things looked vulnerable in-universe. I know things have always looked shaky given how each episode ends, but seeing the Auditor all messed up and trying to make a deal with Hank and Sanford to remove the Clown, it sets up Madness Combat 12 nicely. The audio and SFX is a major improvement and would become a standard in later animations. The soundtrack, 'Expurgation', from our saviour Cheshyre is again one of the best soundtracks. It gives a sense of hopelessness, this is even more apparent when Sanford yells out in frustration when he is cornered by Tricky, but then hope is restored when Hank returns with a new metal arm, and the soundtrack hits even harder. I do feel like the fight at the end could have been a bit more interesting, and a lot could have happened, but then again, Krinkels worked on this thing for 7 years, so I'll give him a pass on that. Also love the way the episode begins with Hank and Sanford climbing down the ladder from MC10, haha. All in all, one of my favourites.
2. Madness Abrogation
I think Madness Combat 10 is easily one of the best episodes. This thing came out in 2011, but it could have come out in 2016 or something and I'd have been none the wiser. The sheer rise in quality is undeniable. Like I said before, my issues with Aggregation stem from a quality perspective, where one or more characters sort of stand around doing nothing whilst another character is off doing something. When rewatching MC9, it becomes more and more apparent and I can't unsee it. MC5.5 and 6.5 was a period of time where Krinkels was able to hash this out and I think this all came together in MC10, for sure. The animation is very expressive and fluid, there's not a single point where the protags are just standing still or doing nothing (except for when Hank is pushed into the wall by the Mag and when he pulls the lever for Sanford, but I'll give this a pass). The episode feels very alive, due in part to the expressiveness, such as Hank and Sanford playing rock paper scissors to determine who dives into The Auditor's construct first. Naturally, it's our boy Hank. And that soundtrack? Come on, it's easily my personal favourite in the whole series. I think where MC9 toned it down to suit a more slow paced episode, MC10 ramps it up where it sounds like alarms are ringing, as if to say "we've go to go, quick!", and the part of the song where a portion of Madness7 is played, followed by a remix of Crazy Clown Song of Death from MC5, truly amazing. Cheshyre did a beastly job here, and as usual, breathed some serious life into this episode. It's by far the episode I come back to the most, there is just so much to love here. Again, you'd have no idea that MC10 and MC11 are 7 years apart. I wish I could say more, and to be honest I would I could say more on ALL the episodes, but we'd be here all day. MC10 is a classic, hands down.
1. Madness Combat 9.5
This might've been expected, or not expected, I don't know. But MC9.5 is easily the best episode to date. I'll also be ranking both parts as one whole episode. I can't actually tell you which part I prefer the most, as it takes two of my favourite looking Hanks and puts them into the same episode. Following Dedmos and the anticipated release of MC12, I would say that this is Krinkels' magnum opus. In terms of sheer quality, the amazing sound design, and again we cannot forget how much life is pumped into these animations by Cheshyre. I'd say I prefer Part 1's soundtrack over Part 2. I think given how fast MC6 Hank is, I would be inclined to say Part 1's fast paced soundtrack fits that version of Hank the most, but that's just a personal preference.
Anyway, the most noticeable thing off the bat is the sleek, crisp art design. It's rugged, detailed, and is by far Krinkels' best work. It truly feels like a massive overhaul to the design of the characters and world around them. Again, the expressiveness is huge, such as Hank making fun of the ATP Soldat gesturing with his hand, pointing towards the eyes, and this is even more interesting because it's the first time Hank meets them chronologically. It feels very fluid, and everything looks like it has real weight to it. This is also enhanced by the amazing sound design, for a mask that drops onto the floor, or the clicking of the guns. The horror feel from MC7 is truly back here, as well. Part 2 specifically where Tricky just goes into beast mode, it very much caught me off guard. MC9.5 also gives us an interesting look at how 'the other place' works, and how the Madness universe works as a whole. It's implied when you die, you end up in this sort of purgatory hellscape, and it does all of this story telling wordlessly. Ironically, I feel that Part 1 is actually more of a 7.5 than the original 7.5, for the obvious reason that 9.5 starts after Hank is killed in MC7. So many little details in 9.5 make it feel so authentic, such as the very end when Hank is revived, and you can faintly hear gunshots in the background, the moment where Deimos is killed. I have so much more to say but again, we'll be here all day. All in all, this is by far the best MC episode to date in terms of quality, audio, story and the new art style will be one of the driving forces moving forward.
So, that's my personal ranking of Madness Combat episodes. Again, I love every single episode, so if there's a ranking you disagree with, just remember it's my personal opinion and in my head, they are all number 1. Submit your rankings, and let me know your thoughts, and where you'd rank the episodes!
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15. Madness Combat
In last place, kind of predictable, but the first episode. Obviously just because nostalgia aside, every episode that came after it has raised the bar in so many ways. However, we mustn't forget the classic soundtrack, the lack of blood, the first canon entry of Jeb and Hank, a literal cannon - this is where it all started. It knows what it is, it's a classic. It's where Madness began.
14. Madness Redeemer
Again like before, an absolute classic and it's where I believe that Madness Combat in its current form truly began. We've got introductions of the Sheriff, The Clown, Jeb was brought back. This is also where the Tricky Saga started to take shape. Again I do feel that everything that came after it was just better in quality, but there is loads to love about Redeemer.
13. Madness Combat 7.5
May be a bit controversial, but 7.5 ranks lower. I think it's universally agreed that 7.5 is the least interesting .5 episode. It doesn't feel like it contrasts well with the zaniness and horror of Madness 7. In some capacity, I feel that you need to pair the .5's with their mainline counterparts, and this episode, whilst good, is just the opposite of Consternation. The soundtrack is also one of my least favourites. This one just felt a bit like a filler episode. It's still a great entry, especially given the time it came out, but I'd say this is the most 'run of the mill' episode pre-modern Krinkels.
12. Madness Avenger
Avenger is very much a classic. This is where the Improbability Drive was introduced and the main story started to take shape. I think Redeemer is where the violence and John Wick style animation began, but I feel the story truly jumped after Avenger. This was the second episode I ever watched and I still hold it in very high regard. I think this is the episode people think of when someone says 'Madness Combat', if you were skulking around Newgrounds back in the early 00's.
11. Madness Depredation
Depredation was the 3rd episode I ever watched. I remember seeing the thumbnail plastered everyone on flash animation websites. This is where Hank got his iconic look - this episode is just batshit crazy. If someone mentions Madness Combat and you don't think of Avenger or Consternation, then you probably remember the Depredation and onward looks. There's just so much to love here. The hard pounding soundtrack from Cheshyre let's you know that this is hardcore. Removing the nostalgia I'd say it doesn't have a lot to offer in terms of story until the very end, but man when this came out it was one of my favourites and still is, I just believe that the other episodes have a lot more to say.
10. Madness Inundation
When this first came out, it was sort of controversial, if I remember correctly. With Hank dead at the end of Consternation, I saw tons of comments and forum posts, including some from myself... is Hank coming back? Is this the end? No one really predicted that Jeb would get his own episode, and looking back, I love this episode. I wasn't a huge fan back in 2008, and I would have ranked it near the bottom just out of spite for not getting Hank. But this episode, looking at it today, is brilliant. Jeb is such a cool protagonist, being able to fly, use his powers, catch bullets, the iconic sniper rifle opening, API's soundtrack. The Magnum. I could go on, honestly. I think this is one of the highlights of the series, because at the time, we genuinely thought this was the final episode, and Krinkels' posts, or lack thereof, around that time, sort of gave the impression that this would be the case. The episode feels very much centred around doom, and the end of things as we know it, especially during normality restoration. I think this is where subtle hints surrounding the Madness universe (or Nevadean universe... maybe?) started to take shape. Thankfully, it wasn't the end. It was unfortunately, so far, the end of Jeb, which is a damn shame. I hope Krinkels reconsiders down the line, but for now, he joins the Sheriff being the only two characters to die, seemingly forever, and go to "regular Hell".
9. Madness Apotheosis
Apotheosis is the very first episode I watched back in 2004, so naturally I do have some tiny amount of bias. This is where Krinkels found his footing - quite literally. Characters now have two feet, animation is a lot smoother, another iconic bandage look from Hank following Avenger... again, before getting Depredation, similar to Inundation as well, this truly looked like the end.
8. Madness Combat 5.5
This may also be controversial. But I firmly believe 5.5 is actually better than the episode it's structured around. Again, these earlier rankings are hard as I am trying to not see it through nostalgia, but rather quality. I think 5.5 just has so much to say, the iconic opening, mixed with the soundtrack. It fits perfectly with the lore, and actually makes Depredation a much better episode. Again, the issue with Depredation is that the intro is just run of the mill, up until the mid-point and ending, which only serves, at the time, a continuation in the form of Antipathy. 5.5 is where things tied together very nicely. This is also the introduction of Sanford and Deimos who would go on to become much loved characters in the Madness canon. Given how they just seem like random grunts in Depredation (which, at the time, they likely were), Krinkels managed to give them a whole side quest, which ties in very nicely with the main story. It's also the first time where two protagonists are on screen and are actually doing something, which I'll explain later. Other than that, great episode!
7. Madness Antipathy
The sixth Madness episode is also quite the anomaly. What I failed to realise as a kid is that each episode pretty much ends on a somewhat cliffhanger, but a cliffhanger where it could continue, and it also doesn't have to. 2006 was a huge year for animated sequels, with Madness 6, Killing Spree VI and Joe Zombie: Episode 6, ironically, all the 6's. There's a few others to mention, but we'd be here all day. I love Hanks look in this episode, with his exposed jaw after being pummelled to heck by Tricky in episode 5. The stab wound with the smiley face. Just do what comes natural. Have to mention while I love Cheshyre's Trainmadness soundtrack, we also have to give a shoutout to the creepy opening music MADNEWAT, and API's fast, twitchy techno music in the first half. I mention this because Hank seems very twitchy in this episode, and I love it. It's also carried over in 9.5 too, which is nice to see. The gore is great, especially with the axe and P90 at the end, the train, Jeb working a normal job post Depredation... I think this is where Madness truly reached the point of 'crazy' and set the stage for every episode that came after it.
6. Madness Aggregation
Aggregation is the 9th episode in the Madness canon, and was certainly a surprise to see. This is Krinkels' experimental phase, and you can see it throughout the episode. It was the first episode (if I remember correctly) to have two protagonists on screen at the same time (or three, if you count dead/carried Hank). This is where my problems begin, however. You can certainly tell it was the first time, a lot of my issues with this episode center around Sanford or Deimos sort of standing around doing nothing whilst the other is causing mayhem. Apart from that though, it was nice to see them again, especially after watching the .5's years later. On rewatch, I hold it in much higher regard now that we have context for the canon. This is also where Hank is revived and would set up another event in the form of 9.5 later down the line. It is weird to see Hank as a Mag, and it's doubly sad to see that Deimos did not make it, but this episode is baller. The soundtrack as well, definitely fits the opening with our heroes driving and evading enemies. I can't pinpoint it, but the soundtrack definitely feels like a dual protagonist sound. In terms of story, it sticks very well.
5. Madness Combat 6.5
There is so much to love about 6.5. I think it's honestly the best .5 episode pre-Madness 11 era. 2009-2011 was a very experimental phase, but it definitely paid off. I just love how seamlessly 5.5 and 6.5 come together when watched one after the other, or in one big video (props to the folks who put those 'In Real-time' videos together). The wounded Sanford, the train tracks, it certainly gives a lot of context for what is going on, wordlessly. This is where they started to get their iconic looks. Whilst 7.5 didn't really offer anything substantial, 5.5 and 6.5 are truly magnificent episodes that are held in high regard. The reason I ranked 5.5 lower is that it's just to give you an idea of what's happening around Depredation and Antipathy, whereas 6.5 feels like its own episode. The soundtrack is one of my favourites too. The animation was getting more and more fluid, and given that this came out before Madness 10, it's quite amazing how much of the animation style here is carried over into the later episodes.
4. Madness Consternation
Episode 7 is one of my all-time favourites, for sure, and I think this rings true for a lot of people in the community. Even though it's not ranked at number 1, I'd still say it's among my personal favourite episodes. The soundtrack and eerie vibe of the demonic Clown gives the episode a real horror angle that I always scared me in a way, as a kid. There's also things I never noticed back in 2007, that I notice today, such as 'DISSENTER BE DAMNED' written on the walls where the spiked agents are. This is cool nowadays since 9.5 expands on retention and dissenters, so even though it may not have been intended at the time (or if it was, Krinkels was certainly quiet about it), it tells a lot without any words and fits the story very nicely. Again, it's another pick for my "this is the Hank you think about when someone mentions Madness Combat" list. There are so many. But I love Hank's ninja wraps and red goggles. I feel this is when his image improved each episode. Cheshyre's Madness7 soundtrack is close to my all time favourite, and I still blast it in the car to this day. Also, chainsaw Hank is MVP.
3. Madness Expurgation
This might be a little controversial depending on who you ask, but I think Expurgation fits nicely in 3rd place within this ranking. It's one of my favourites and is probably one of the craziest episodes to date. I think the issue I have with this episode is the lack of blood. I think Madness has always been memorable for the amount of gore, blood and ways that the enemies are killed. I don't have an issue with the black blood from the clown minions, but the gore just feels a bit lessened here, in my opinion anyway. That, however, does not stop this from being an all time great. 7 years, 7 months and 7 days, and it was well worth the wait after being teased for so long. This is truly a highpoint in the Madness canon, where things looked vulnerable in-universe. I know things have always looked shaky given how each episode ends, but seeing the Auditor all messed up and trying to make a deal with Hank and Sanford to remove the Clown, it sets up Madness Combat 12 nicely. The audio and SFX is a major improvement and would become a standard in later animations. The soundtrack, 'Expurgation', from our saviour Cheshyre is again one of the best soundtracks. It gives a sense of hopelessness, this is even more apparent when Sanford yells out in frustration when he is cornered by Tricky, but then hope is restored when Hank returns with a new metal arm, and the soundtrack hits even harder. I do feel like the fight at the end could have been a bit more interesting, and a lot could have happened, but then again, Krinkels worked on this thing for 7 years, so I'll give him a pass on that. Also love the way the episode begins with Hank and Sanford climbing down the ladder from MC10, haha. All in all, one of my favourites.
2. Madness Abrogation
I think Madness Combat 10 is easily one of the best episodes. This thing came out in 2011, but it could have come out in 2016 or something and I'd have been none the wiser. The sheer rise in quality is undeniable. Like I said before, my issues with Aggregation stem from a quality perspective, where one or more characters sort of stand around doing nothing whilst another character is off doing something. When rewatching MC9, it becomes more and more apparent and I can't unsee it. MC5.5 and 6.5 was a period of time where Krinkels was able to hash this out and I think this all came together in MC10, for sure. The animation is very expressive and fluid, there's not a single point where the protags are just standing still or doing nothing (except for when Hank is pushed into the wall by the Mag and when he pulls the lever for Sanford, but I'll give this a pass). The episode feels very alive, due in part to the expressiveness, such as Hank and Sanford playing rock paper scissors to determine who dives into The Auditor's construct first. Naturally, it's our boy Hank. And that soundtrack? Come on, it's easily my personal favourite in the whole series. I think where MC9 toned it down to suit a more slow paced episode, MC10 ramps it up where it sounds like alarms are ringing, as if to say "we've go to go, quick!", and the part of the song where a portion of Madness7 is played, followed by a remix of Crazy Clown Song of Death from MC5, truly amazing. Cheshyre did a beastly job here, and as usual, breathed some serious life into this episode. It's by far the episode I come back to the most, there is just so much to love here. Again, you'd have no idea that MC10 and MC11 are 7 years apart. I wish I could say more, and to be honest I would I could say more on ALL the episodes, but we'd be here all day. MC10 is a classic, hands down.
1. Madness Combat 9.5
This might've been expected, or not expected, I don't know. But MC9.5 is easily the best episode to date. I'll also be ranking both parts as one whole episode. I can't actually tell you which part I prefer the most, as it takes two of my favourite looking Hanks and puts them into the same episode. Following Dedmos and the anticipated release of MC12, I would say that this is Krinkels' magnum opus. In terms of sheer quality, the amazing sound design, and again we cannot forget how much life is pumped into these animations by Cheshyre. I'd say I prefer Part 1's soundtrack over Part 2. I think given how fast MC6 Hank is, I would be inclined to say Part 1's fast paced soundtrack fits that version of Hank the most, but that's just a personal preference.
Anyway, the most noticeable thing off the bat is the sleek, crisp art design. It's rugged, detailed, and is by far Krinkels' best work. It truly feels like a massive overhaul to the design of the characters and world around them. Again, the expressiveness is huge, such as Hank making fun of the ATP Soldat gesturing with his hand, pointing towards the eyes, and this is even more interesting because it's the first time Hank meets them chronologically. It feels very fluid, and everything looks like it has real weight to it. This is also enhanced by the amazing sound design, for a mask that drops onto the floor, or the clicking of the guns. The horror feel from MC7 is truly back here, as well. Part 2 specifically where Tricky just goes into beast mode, it very much caught me off guard. MC9.5 also gives us an interesting look at how 'the other place' works, and how the Madness universe works as a whole. It's implied when you die, you end up in this sort of purgatory hellscape, and it does all of this story telling wordlessly. Ironically, I feel that Part 1 is actually more of a 7.5 than the original 7.5, for the obvious reason that 9.5 starts after Hank is killed in MC7. So many little details in 9.5 make it feel so authentic, such as the very end when Hank is revived, and you can faintly hear gunshots in the background, the moment where Deimos is killed. I have so much more to say but again, we'll be here all day. All in all, this is by far the best MC episode to date in terms of quality, audio, story and the new art style will be one of the driving forces moving forward.
So, that's my personal ranking of Madness Combat episodes. Again, I love every single episode, so if there's a ranking you disagree with, just remember it's my personal opinion and in my head, they are all number 1. Submit your rankings, and let me know your thoughts, and where you'd rank the episodes!
2024.05.21 11:31 Toteldejesus How octogenarian Cecile Guidote-Alvarez rushed to the beauty salon to tackle West Philippine Sea
On a rainy Saturday afternoon not so long ago when internet connection was fluctuating in most homes, the 80-year-old Cecile Guidote-Alvarez, widow of the late Senator Heherson Alvarez, carrying a mini iPad, hurriedly alighted from a three-wheeled pedicab Toktok and stormed her way into a popular coffee shop in a mall in Manila.
A senior citizen in panic mode, she told the stunned baristas she’s looking for a Wi-Fi connection because she was about to interview retired Supreme Court Associate Justice Antonio Carpio via Zoom.The coffee shop, a known world brand, has Wi-Fi exclusive to its employees, so the old lady was told to try other establishments. She went from one coffee shop to another only to be told the same, until a kind stranger led her to a well-known beauty salon with a free internet connection.
The lady salon attendant was very accommodating to the octogenarian, even typing the password on her IPad. Of course, she needed to avail herself of their salon services. Initially, she opted for a haircut, but since she needed to talk and hear clearly who she was talking to, she settled for a foot spa with pedicure.
“They lowered the volume of the piped-in music, and since there were less customers because it’s been raining all day, I was able to do my interview,” Guidote-Alvarez said.
For the next half-an-hour, the hair dressers and manicurists working with their scissors, nail clippers and cuticle removers on their customers’ hair and fingernails, listened to Carpio and Guidote-Alvarez discussed how Filipino fishermen and the Philippine Navy ships helplessly negotiate their ways in Scarborough Shoal amid the territorial disputes in the West Philippine Sea.
“They were all very nice to me. I was able to finish my interview, with newly pedicured nails,” she told The Diarist.
For those who’ve worked with Guidote-Alvarez, her steadfast, almost stubborn, nature to accomplish a task, is nothing out of the ordinary. She would improvise, find alternatives, call up friends and former students, wake them up from sleep, just to get things done.
But now, in her 80s, legally blind and nearly deaf, she has mellowed down.
Cecile Alvarez with her mentors, National Artist for Literature Alejandro Roces, Jr and Fr. James Reuter. SJ
In her twilight years, Guidote-Alvarez has been solely hosting the 57-year-old Radyo Balintataw on DZRH, one of the oldest radio stations in the Philippines, where she tackles a wide range of topics, from climate change, women’s health, theater, culture, dance, to current issues, apart from playing old recordings of classic radio plays she produced and directed, dating back to the late ‘80s.
She shared with TheDiarist.ph how she started and continues to host one of the longest running advocacy programs on AM Radio.
Theater on TV
After founding the Philippine Educational Theater Association (PETA) on April 7, 1967, or exactly 57 years ago, Guidote-Alvarez thought of the need to expose PETA’s members to television, so she started conceptualizing Balintataw, which in Filipino means the pupil of the eye, but in a larger context has something to do with having wild imagination, or what you might see if you have a third eye.
“I designed Balintataw as a bridge between cinema and the stage, where the youth being trained in theater skills can have a ready-made laboratory experience linked with the film and entertainment industry that would likewise have a natural on-the-job training and orientation regarding the theatrical discipline of working with a literary script, whether dramatic or comic—not the regular improvised script done on taping or copycat scripts from foreign themes,” Guidote-Alvarez wrote in her yet-to-be published Memoir of a Freedom Fighter’s Wife.
“A primary goal when I conceived PETA was to initiate and sustain artistic expression that draws meaning and power from the lives of the people, and sharing the literary gems with a greater number of audiences through a Broadcast Theater-Film Program with Balintataw on Channel 5,” she added.
“No matter how little the pay, at least it provided our local writers with a little honorarium. I sought permission for award-winning pieces of the Palanca Playwriting contest to be fleshed out to reach the masses. The much-awarded playwright Bert Florentino served as our literary manager, assisted by Mauro Avena. Eventually, Isagani Cruz took over when Bert left for the US,” she wrote.
“Writers need exposure and encouragement through a regular TV performance that will give them a sense of achievement and inspire them to keep on writing with some kind of honorarium. I was glad Lupita Aquino (now Kashiwahara) agreed to be TV director and Robert Arevalo as TV host.
She got members of the PETA Kalinangan Ensemble to serve as stage directors. “This is to undertake preliminary preparation with a rehearsal with the actors for character development and memorization and preliminary staging,” she wrote.
Five months after PETA was founded, Balintataw TV premiered on Channel 5 on Aug. 19, 1967, coinciding with the Buwan ng Wika birthdate of President Manuel Luis Quezon.
The first play, whose title escapes her now, featured Armida Siguion-Reyna and Maria Eva “Chingbee” Kalaw. She employed photo journalist and award-winning photographedocumentarist/cinematographer, Romy Vitug, to work with her in filming outdoor scenes for Balintataw.
In the pre-Martial Law Balintataw, among those initiated into television were Lino Brocka, Elwood Perez, Nick Lizaso, Maryo delos Reyes, Mario O’Hara, Joey Gosiengfiao, Behn Cervantes, and Frank Rivera.
Among the stage actors who crossed over to television were Lily Gamboa, Angie Ferro, Lorlie Villanueva, Jonee Gamboa, Joy Soler, Sherry Lara, Gardy Labad, Noel Trinidad.
Like with PETA, Guidote-Alvarez directed and managed Balintataw for five years. Because of Martial Law, she and husband Heherson went on exile in the US to escape a military shoot-to-kill order on Heherson, who was tagged as a subversive.
Post-Martial Law
Internationally acclaimed auteur Lav Diaz mentioned in several interviews how he learned writing radio and TV scripts in Balintataw.
This happened in the late 1980s, when the Alvarez couple returned from exile.
Despite its absence on the air in the Martial Law years, Balintataw was honored by Star Awards as among the 20 unforgettable outstanding broadcast programs in the Philippines.
“This encouraged me to consider reviving Balintataw on TV. Another blessing was a FAMAS award for having an important role in the development of cinema recognizing Balintataw as a bridge for synergizing cinema with the stage, providing a pathway of entry of our PETA artists into film and for movie stars to consider enriching their experience by acting on the legitimate stage,” Guidote-Alvarez wrote.
Though she didn’t return to PETA anymore because it had been surviving well and had its own set of officers led by Brocka, she just tapped some of its members for the return of Balintataw.
For 14 years, the Alvarez couple lived in the US as political exiles, shown here during a Ninoy Aquino Movement meeting. Cecile revived Radyo Balintataw upon their return in the late 1980s.
Channel 4 stint
“I arranged to revive TV Balintataw on Channel 4 in 1989. We began with a drama about a rebel returnee, title escapes me now, but I clearly remember it was written by Lualhati Bautista and directed by Maryo de los Reyes. We also had a good story series on the hazing of Lenny Villa, an Aquila Legis Frat neophyte,” she wrote.
At the time, Heherson had been elected senator after having served as Agrarian Reform Minister and eventually Cabinet Secretary during the first year of the Cory Aquino Administration.
“We were able to unravel the deadly hazing process from a fellow neophyte who broke the code of silence as we revealed graphically, acted the cruel process used. I had Jose Mari Avellana direct it. This presentation won all the awards. Lav Diaz was training with us and he started writing teleplays. We also had Nora Aunor in an adaptation of Bert Florentino’s The World Is An Apple, adapted by Frank Rivera, and I had Nick Lizaso direct.”
Emmy Awards
Balintataw TV was selected as one of five soaps for social change recognized by Emmy Awards. The Philippines was one of five countries cited, with Mexico, India, Brazil and Kenya.
“The nomination was made possible by the wonderful support from David Poindexter. It was a supreme honor for our country to be recognized in the Emmy Awards, to be cited among the five Third World countries using soap opera for social change.”
Poindexter was a Methodist minister and TV producer who founded the Population Communications International.
Surviving on radio
“In spite of the cry about how television can be deadening the minds of the people with copied themes with an eternal favorite love triangle story, there was really no funding for Balintataw,” she wrote.
“Sponsors would go naturally to the commercial stations where big stars were paid highly for the starring role. Balintataw may have substance but we could not afford payment of bankable stars,” she added.
“Financial stress forced me to drop TV and remain on radio because I didn’t want to kill Balintataw per se just because we didn’t have funds.”
Creative classroom
“We have focused on Balintataw as a creative classroom on the air. I was able to talk to Fred J. Elizalde of DZRH and the president of the network, Mr. Jun Nicdao,” she wrote.
In the ‘80s, the HIV/AIDS became a global epidemic and in the Philippines, the general populace was still clueless on how to deal with it.
“In order to get funding, the first series I did was about the explosive news regarding AIDS in Asia. I got the DOH Secretary at the time, Dr. Juan Flavier, to act as himself, providing the data. It was easier to start off with an AIDS radio serial.
They did a minimum of 13 episodes to raise awareness about the disease.
“From then on, some of our television scripts we transformed into a radio version. DZRH provided us with our initial production staff, so we used some from the network and some of its resident artists and drama talents. Our time slots were changing but always coming after the long-running horror drama, Gabi ng Lagim.
“We worked on the themes of overseas workers, the drug problem, corruption, aside from portraying contemporary and literary classics serving as social commentaries,” she wrote.
Women playwrights
“We dramatized the works of noted women writers and playwrights like Estrella Alfon, Genoveva Edroza Matute and Marilou Jacob, who is distinguished in being a founding president of Women’s Playwright International.
“Apart from our PETA staple of writers, we involved young, upcoming and budding university and community theater groups.
“We also had a lot of foreign plays, where we could feature theater festivals beyond borders. We could do Shakespeare, we could do Euripides but also the current playwrights in the Arab region we translated in our language.
“We brought in Chinese contemporary plays, Malaysian, Indonesian and from other women writers from ASEAN member countries.”
Virtual history book
“The significance of Balintataw is portrayed as a virtual history book on audio as it unveiled events in the country. Radio is fresh, instant and up-to date,” she added.
When the COVID-19 pandemic struck, Balintataw became Guidote-Alvarez’s outlet and therapy. Having lost her husband on the second month of the pandemic, a widow cocooned at home, she began hosting it six days a week, learning how to use an iPad and interviewing via Zoom.
The word “Balintataw” has been associated with her name.
Visual artist and editorial cartoonist Benjie Lontoc in casual meeting told us how in his younger days, when AM Radio was a national past-time, he was surprised to hear a Filipino adaptation of No Exit by Jean Paul-Sarte. This was when radio was airing soap, fantasy adventures targeting housewives and children.
Another was the airing of Larawan as a radio play in the 1990s, with Guidote-Alvarez as the voice of Candida Marasigan.
Leopoldo Salcedo (left) as Manolo in a confrontation scene with Dante Rivero as Tony Javier in PETA’s 1968 ‘Larawan’ directed by Cecile Guidote-Alvarez. (Photo from PETA archives)
In the 1960s, she directed Larawan, the first Filipino adaptation of Joaquin’s A Portrait of the Artist as Filipino for PETA’s second season. It ran from December 1968 to January 1969 at the Raha Sulayman Theater at Fort Santiago in Intramural. In the cast were Rita Gomez (Candida), Lolita Rodriguez (Paula), Leopoldo Salcedo (Don Manolo) and Dante Rivero (Tony Javier).
Guidote-Alvarez has a funny recollection of the radio play. It was Nick Joaquin himself who told her years ago how his pedicurist suddenly started a conversation about Larawan.
Joaquin was relaxing on the barber’s chair having a post-haircut pedicure and foot spa when the lady pedicurist asked him how the story would end. Joaquin was stunned because he didn’t want to be known in the barber shop as Nick Joaquin the famous National Artist for Literature, but just a regular customer.
“He told me he almost fell out from the chair. He was a very private person and the pedicurist recognized him as the playwright,” Guidote-Alvarez, laughing, told TheDiarist.ph.
When she was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2000, she was given only three years to live. It’s been more than two decades since then. She has also conquered COVID-19 twice.
Over and beyond her work in theater and various advocacies, Guidote-Alvarez is among the few surviving practitioners of AM Radio broadcasting.
The beauty salon incident wasn’t a first for the octogenarian radio host. She occasionally went back there to interview guests and record her shows whenever Wi-Fi connections in her home fluctuated.
Despite all setbacks, man-made or otherwise, the steadfast Cecile Guidote-Alvarez’s voice continues to be heard in this mass media platform in an era that knows mainly Spotify. As Joaquin wrote, “to remember and to sing, that is her vocation.”
(Except Saturday, Radyo Balintataw airs daily on DZRH 666 Khz AM radio after ‘Gabi ng Lagim’, and live streamed on radio.org.ph. Some episodes have been uploaded on YouTube.)
2024.05.21 11:07 CringeyVal0451 Maple Walnut Pie
Kadillac Kirk had been a good friend of mine for several years. I had met him through friends from The Spring Stage; and he never had anything to do with The Imp, which is why he didn’t appear in the Married Mary saga. Mary would have totally thrown herself at him, and Kirk would have definitely “thrown it in her.” He loved the ladies and often remarked that there was no such thing as an unappealing woman, nor was there anything sweeter than finding the pearl of passion in an outwardly plain dame. Fortunately for Kirk, he never met Mary. This was probably fortunate for Mary as well, seeing as Kirk was a confirmed bachelor and his rakish nature might have broken her fat heart.
Kirk was an older guy. Not MOE old, though. He was in his early forties, but he easily passed for a carefree dude in his 30s... not that he lied about his age. I only mention this trait to juxtapose Kirk’s genuine youthful air with Moe’s unconvincing youthful farce. Kirk dressed normally, avoided stupid jargon, and never busted out gimmicks like tarot cards or spells. He just existed, behaved affably, and people liked him for it.
He drove a classic 1962 Cadillac El Dorado convertible with red leather interior, and he lived in a charmingly quaint (and ridiculously expensive) neighborhood. How he made his fortune remained a mystery, but he never bloviated about his wealth. He just threw spectacular parties and people showed up. And, to my knowledge, he never tried to lure women into bed with his money (although I’m sure he got his fair share of boom-boom thanks to his digs and his wheels, even if the gold-diggers denied their monetary agendas).
Kirk was legitimately handsome. He was a drummer, he had a full head of black hair, he was clean-shaven, he worked out, and he knew all the hidden gems in Wellsprings. So why hadn’t I tried... or even desired to date him? I don’t know. I just didn’t feel drawn to him like that. He felt like a cool uncle and he had, thus far, never done anything to change my perception. Plus, the age difference weirded me out a little. Kirk didn’t look forty; but knowing that he had so much more life experience than I did created a power imbalance that would have creeped me out if we’d been dating. As buddies, I just felt supremely cool riding in his Cadillac, smoking Fantasia cigarettes, and hitting the speakeasies and jazz clubs I would have never known about if it weren’t for Kirk’s connections.
And he had been a good person to talk to about my romantic woes. He never lecherously suggested that I should date him, and he gave the type of tempered advice that only comes with lived experience. But he often lightly mocked me for my crush on Dennis and he did a hilarious impression of Smegal popping too soon over his “precious.” So when Mary “got me back” by doing whatever she didwith to Dennis, I called Kadillac Kirk and told him the drinks were on me if he’d be my designated driver for the night.
Why hadn’t I called Whisky??? Well, A) Kirk was way more fun to hang out with, at least from my past experiences up to that point. And B) I needed to bitch about a boy, something I couldn’t do in good conscience in front of a guy I was dating. So I put on the sexiest plunging halter dress I owned, applied heavy eye makeup and spikey accessories, braved a pair of stilettos, and sashayed out to Kirk’s convertible. I felt like a badass rock star. I probably looked like a try-hard hooker.
Kirk: Daaaaay-um! Somebody really did do a number on you, huh? I know you said you were upset, but the gents are gonna be writing thank you notes to that fat girl and that butt-fucking hobbit.
Me: I just need to feel pretty and numb. And I trust you to keep me from making a fool of myself.
Kirk squeezed my shoulder. “I’ve got you. You do whatever you need to do to get rid of these demons.”
He sparked up a J and offered me the first puff. I gladly accepted. He took one puff of his own, but said that the rest was mine since he didn’t want to drive stoned. See? He was responsible! Weed wasn’t legal in California yet, so I got a little bit baked before I stashed the sativa in the glove box and wrapped a scarf around my hair like a starlet from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Kirk sped out of the parking lot and said he was taking me to a downtown hotel that was hosting a party that night in their lush lobby.
Kadillac Kirk pulled up to the main entrance, paid the valet, and then opened my door. I was wobbly from the weed. And I had stupidly decided to wear heels. You can get high or you can wear high (heels). You can’t have both. Not if you’ve repeatedly injured both ankles (as I have). I had to take Kirk’s arm to keep from keeling over. “Can people tell I’m stoned?” I whispered. Kirk replied, “Nobody’s paying any attention to anyone else’s intoxication. I promise you that much.” I nodded, steadied myself, and strutted alongside my very cool friend, feeling a little more confident.
A live jazz orchestra was playing Cole Porter as we entered the lobby. Everything sparkled. The music was even more intoxicating than the spliff had been. “Just One of Those Things” brought tears to my eyes since the lyrics hit every raw nerve regarding the Dennis debacle. But I smiled. It might sound mental, but being distraught over a trash fire of a one-sided romance was exhilarating. Immature, for sure. But also exhilarating. You see, that kind of sadness doesn’t hurt. Not really. It stings. It leaves little bruises, but it’s very safe to wallow in because you haven’t actually lost anything. Melancholia over that which you never had is as sweet as it is bitter; and that type of twisted splendor is rivaled only by Stendhal.
“Here's hoping we meet now and then. It was great fun, but it was just one of those things.” I sang along with the band, and a fat tear rolled down past my melancholic smile and onto my chin. Kirk brushed it aside. “Too close to home?” I wiped away the remnants of the tear’s journey from eye to chin and smiled a more genuine smile. “The perfect distance from home. Shall we get drinks? Remember, I’m buying.”
Kirk: No, no. This is your time to heal. And I’m here as your pal, not your chauffeur. What would the lady like?”
I pretended to barf. Kirk knew I hated it when he got overly formal and overly attentive. So he did it just to mess with me. “Shot of vodka,” I replied.
Kirk: How many?
I thought briefly. “FIVE.”
Kirk: Five to one, baby. One in five...
Me: No one here gets out alive.
Kirk: Are you able to hold yourself upright, or should you come with?
I took a seat on an ornate, damask-upholstered chaise lounge. “I’ll be okay. And I was kidding about the five shots.”
I sat there lost in the music for a while. I thought very little about Dennis. Even less about Mary. And not at all about Whisky (whom I had shagged less than a week ago). My mind danced through the ornate lighting in the hotel lobby, and I suddenly felt the need to join the hoity-toity guests on the dancefloor!
Kirk returned with four shots of vodka. Two for him, two for me. That was quite reasonable of him. He knew damn well that I couldn’t handle five shots, but he also knew that I was in a... state. One that called for more than a single shot. I raised a both miniature glasses to “No more ninnyhammers or hairy-footed lovers.” Kirk did his hilarious Smegal impression, we double-toasted, and downed the shots. The band launched into “Let’s Misbehave,” and I kicked off my stilettos and made a beeline for the dance floor.
“There’s something wild about you child that’s so contagious. Let’s be outrageous! Let’s misbehave.” Kadillac Kirk swept me up, twirled me around, and dipped me as we both sang along with the lyrics. I wasn’t swooning for him, but I was enthralled by the moment. The music, the dancing, the combination of booze and bud... so I kissed him as he pulled me back to my feet. And he kissed back. In a way that Dennis never had. In a way that Whisky’s beard wouldn’t permit. I didn’t feel the visceral sensations that I’d felt when Dennis had kissed me, but it felt nice to feel desired. And then I noticed that other guests were watching us and applauding. Now, that was a dopamine rush if ever there was one!
I gently broke away from the embrace, high-fived Kirk and returned to the chaise lounge to put my stupid shoes back on. He followed me and smashed his face back onto mine. I pulled away and laughed. “It was a moment,” I told him. “I appreciate the dance, and that kiss was the perfect finale. But it’s not happening again.”
Kirk: Not to worry, Valerie. I know you. I knew all along that we were performing, and I was more than happy to be your scene partner.
Me: And dance partner! Those were some excellent moves! I didn’t know you had ballroom training.
Kirk: You name it, I’ve mastered it. Another drink for the lady?
I pretended to barf again. “Not yet. I’m not sad right now. Do you mind if I just sit here and enjoy the music?”
Kirk: Ah. My kisses do have healing properties...
I flipped my hand up at him. “Knock that shit off, bro. I wanted to hang out with you because I trust you not to get weird. Even if I get weird, I know you have the maturity to balance me out.”
Kirk: Are you calling me old???
Me: No. I’m calling you rational, responsible, and respectful.
Kirk: Well, now. If you can articulate an alliterative statement that fluently, then you clearly aren’t drunk enough!
I dismissed this comment as a joke. And he did indeed knock off the flirtation. We had a perfectly pleasant time chatting and dancing (no more kissing, though). And then I noticed a girl I knew from Into the Woods entering the lobby. She’d played Florinda and I’d played Little Red. I called her name and waved enthusiastically. She waved back. And then her date entered. It was D.E.N.N.I.S. I sank into the chaise. Kirk caught on immediately. “The hobbit???” he asked. I nodded silently. “You wanna make out again?” he enthused. I shook my head. I had to go say hello to Flo. And I had an idea...
I crossed the lobby, smiled, squealed, and hugged her.
Florinda: Lil’ Red! It’s been forever! So glad to see you!!! This is my friend, Denny.
Dennis was shifting uncomfortably. I extended my hand. “Nice to meet you. I know your date from Into the Woods. I bet she could tell you some entertaining stories about that show...” Flo laughed out loud, well aware of the many misadventures to which I'd referred. Of course, she might have been laughing because Dennis never, ever listened to anyone else's stories. He was too busy telling, re-telling, slightly altering, and exaggerating his own.
Dennis: C’mon, Val...
Me: Oh, you’ve heard of me? Small world! You guys picked a great night to come here. They’re playing Cole Porter, and the band is delovely!
Florinda (appearing oblivious to the iciness between me and Dennis): Have you seen Prince Big Bad (Scumbanger) lately?
I laughed. “Last time I saw him, he was hitting on some nasty fat chick at The Imp.”
Flo and I both scoffed at the pervy pest. Into the Woods was where I’d initially met Scumbanger. He played The Wolf/Cinderella’s Prince. Again... typecasting. There’s a whole essay in my brain about my first encounter with the pest, during which he quoted the song that he sang to me in the show, “Hello, Little Girl.” But it gets into some pretty uncomfortable territory because he made me feel excited. Well, excited and scared. Nothing of note happened during Into the Woods, but our odd interactions did kind of set the stage for some extremely regrettable events during that Cats cast party.
I excused myself, saying that I needed to get back to my friend. And then I leaned in and said in a hushed voice to Flo, “Watch your ass with that one. If he’s the Denny I’m thinking of...” I gave her a look that only another female would be able to read. Her eyebrows shot up and she nodded. Dennis continued to shift as though he were trying to hold in a massive dump. “BABE! Uh...”
Flo apparently answered to that moniker as well. “What is it, Denny? Don’t worry. That was just telepathic girl talk. You apparently have a reputation...”
Dennis: Different Denny. I assure you I’m a pious gentleman.
Me: Ah. My mistake. Well, then. You guys have a good time! Nice to meet you, Denny. Great to see you, Flo!
I hugged Flo again, gave Dennis a curt nod, ignored the scent of mandarins and mountain air, and returned to Kirk.
I collapsed on the chaise lounge, exhausted from holding back the rage. I had no right to be mad at Florinda. I hadn’t seen her in three years, so how was she supposed to know that I’d had a thing with Dennis? Hell, I couldn’t even be mad at Dennis because the last time he and I had spoken in any meaningful way, I’d told him that I was no longer entertaining my crush on him. So why was I surprised to see him dating??? And why had he never taken ME out on a date like this??? And why wasn’t I smitten with Kadillac Kirk who HAD taken me out on a date like this, was an objectively excellent kisser, and a bona fide BALLER? What was wrong with me???
Kirk suggested going down the street to a quaint little bar and then sobering up at a diner closer to my apartment. I numbly nodded and followed him in silence for a few blocks. He assured me that I had “turned several heads” on the way to the new location, but I neither cared nor believed him. This wasn't the type of numbness I'd been aiming for. Now I needed to get schnockered. “Five shots of vodka, please.” Yes, I was serious.
Kadillac Kirk, my reliable designated driver, ordered only a beer and watched in something across between astonishment, concern, and delight as I slammed all five shots in rapid succession. I half expected to immediately retch all over the bar. But I felt fine. I half expected to immediately lose consciousness and wake up in the hospital. But I remained coherent. How I’d managed to take in that much hard liquor and suffer no direct consequences, I’ll never know.
I think I wanted to suffer. I wanted to either feel nothing at all or to feel a sickness bad enough to distract me from the scorching sting that pulsed through my being when I realized that I had lost the abstract notion I’d been addicted to this entire time. Hope. It wasn’t Dennis himself I couldn’t quit. It was that drug called hope. The hope that maybe, just maybe Dennis would give our romance a fair chance. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would make peace with himself, get his mind out of his crotch, and enjoy some agenda-free togetherness. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would stop bloviating about his admittedly impressive accomplishments for five fucking minutes and ask about my life. I had my own reasonably impressive accomplishments, even if they paled in comparison to his. A proper suitor would have enjoyed hearing about them.
But seeing him out with another woman, a woman who had no reason to parade her Dennis escapades before me as some means of revenge, a woman he was clearly courting of his own volition... My hope had died. It died before I’d had time to wean myself off it. Now I had to mourn the loss of hope, which is a very tricky brand of grief to navigate. Vodka wasn’t the answer, but it was what I had to work with. So it would have to do.
After enough time had passed without vomiting or collapsing, I asked Kirk to bring his car around to the bar so that I didn’t have to walk two and a half blocks drunk and in heels. He nodded and dramatically leaned in for a kiss. I recoiled. “DUDE! I told you. The moment has passed.”
Kirk: I beg your pardon. I misread your eyes. Thought I saw a green light...
Me: It’s fine. I just want to go home while I’m still feeling okay.
Kirk: Of course. Your chariot will be here soon.
He skipped off to fetch his Cadillac and I noticed that the lights in the bar were beginning to dance a bit. This should have been concerning. But then I realized that I was giggling. Wait... What? Oh shit. Sure, I was drunk from those shots. But what I was feeling in that moment wasn’t drunkery. It was stonery. Kirk probably misread my face because my pupils were dilated. Not from desire, but from drug use.
Some of you might be thinking that I was a bad friend for not introducing Lucy, an old dude connoisseur, to Kirk. Well... I did. Several years before the events of this story. He adored her. She, on the other hand, thought he was immature. And she wasn’t wrong. Lucy was astute when it came to sussing out a person’s true nature. Far more astute than I. Her initial assessment that Kirk was immature is about to be vindicated. Stretch those cringe muscles! It’s almost time for pie...
I somehow managed to get to his car. I honestly don’t recall how I got there. Did one of the bartenders carry me? Did some kind patron allow me to lean on him? Had Kadillac Kirk carried me out? I’m not sure. But my memory ceases to be fuzzy about halfway to the 24-hour diner. It might have been the very same 24-hour diner where Mary pulled her... shenanigans. I’ll never know.
Kirk: Would you say that you’re more drunk or more stoned?
Me: STONED. Definitely stoned.
Kirk made some sort of grunty noise and reached for my thigh. I slapped his hand.
Kirk: Stoned but not amorous? That’s rare.
I started laughing rather unkindly. “You’re a fucking horndog! I thought you were my safe straight male friend, dammit.”
Kirk: I solemnly swear that your safety is my primary concern, my stoned beauty.
I pretended to throw up.
Kirk: So... You’re not horny. But are you hungry? The diner I’m heading to makes this Maple Walnut Pie with the most sumptuous... sensual cream and exquisite drizzling of...
Me: Ew! Stop trying to bang the pie. Bro. Are YOU stoned? (Then I remembered the question.) Yes, I’m hungry. But I don’t like nuts. I’ll have banana cream.
Kirk made that repulsive grunty noise again. “Uhhhhh... Mmmmmm. Cream. Yessssss. Yes, we’ll be there in just a minute.” He was squirming in the driver's seat.
Me: GROSS, DUDE! If you’re gonna be like that I’ll just order HASH brows. Get it? Hash??? (I giggled uncontrollably.). You can’t make that sound nasty.
Kirk: Forgive my jokes. I think my blood sugar’s a bit low.
As Kirk parked, I began to wonder how I might get away with walking shoeless into the diner. The stilettos had to get off my feet. At least while I was walking. And Kirk was kind enough to give me his socks and wear his loafers “island style” into the establishment. Okay, that was gallant of him. Maybe he was going to behave himself for the rest of the evening.
I wasn’t terribly talkative as we sat down, and he expressed concern for my emotional well-being. I wasn’t coherent enough to explain what was happening to my emotions and I wasn’t sure I trusted him with my deep, dark secrets at that point. So I shrugged like a sulky teenager, ran my hands over my messy, windblown hair, and mumbled that I was “just hungry.” And right on cue, a very kind, slightly older waitress with a sweet southern accent stopped by to take our order.
Kirk: Ah, yes. We’ll have two cups of black coffee. And we’ll share a slice of that delectable Maple Walnut Pie.
Waitress: Oh, honey. That pie is scrumptious! I take it you’ve been here before?
Kirk: I have. This will be her first time to taste the splendor.
I hated to be a killjoy, but I interrupted and said to the waitress, “Ma’am? I’m sure the Maple Walnut is excellent, but could I please get a slice of Banana Cream? And a big glass of ice water?
Waitress: Sure, hon! Banana Cream’s just as yummy! I’ll be right back with those coffees and that big water.
Kirk was sucking on the tip of his forefinger and shaking his head a bit. “You’re passing up so many sensational... sensual...”
I put my forehead on the table and growled. “You swore you’d stop being nasty!” I held this #headdesk pose for quite some time before I finally lifted my head... only to see that Kirk was still sucking his fingertip and staring at me like a wild animal. “Pleeeeeease be normal,” I whined. “It’s been a really weird night for me.”
Kirk: Indeed. Many surprises. You know... You’re like titanium. Your flame burns so fast and so bright, if a guy doesn’t get in there while the iron is hot, he’ll never get another chance. I was too slow.
What the...? I was pretty sure he was wrong about titanium burning quickly. I’m no chemistry wiz, but my dad and my oldest brother are both big-brains when it comes to physics and chemistry. So I picked up some things just listening to them talk. Accurate or inaccurate, Kirk was being creepy again. He’d never been creepy towards me before, although I’d seen him act like this with other women. Usually with staggering success. Why????? His money. It had to be his money. Kirk was a nice-looking man, but holy shit... No amount of good looks could save this creep show.
And then, our sweet waitress sat down our coffees, my water, and the two slices of pie. After I gulped down a whole bunch of water, I grabbed a fork, prepared to quell my munchies... and then I froze. Kirk was quickly flicking his finger back and forth across the top of his pie. And moaning. He noticed my wide-eyed stare, smirked, sucked the tip of his thumb, picked up the plate with both hands, and began flicking his tongue across the tip of the triangular pie slice. And moaning some more. Well, there went my appetite.
Kirk took his middle finger and jabbed it into the crustless vertex of the pie slice, then he began pumping it in and out like a piston, and flicking his thumb across the increasingly demolished top layer of whipped cream. He gasped this time. People were starting to stare. His pointer finger joined his middle finger in the piston action, and he replaced his thumb with his tongue. Between flicks of the tongue, he groaned, “Oh yeah, baby... Let me taste you,” but it was kind of hard to understand him.
And I was either about to run to the back office, tell them that I was in danger and needed a police escort home... OR I was about to burst out laughing at the spectacle. Kirk continued... He removed his fingers and gregariously licked pie filling off of them. And then he started sucking his fingertips again, switching from middle to pointer, middle to pointer and emitting a delighted little, “Mmmmmm” with every suck.
Finally, he jabbed his fingers back into the utterly destroyed pie, lowered his face into the mess and lapped loudly and passionately, moaning, grunting, and mumbling “Come on, baby. Come on. Mmmmmm. Come on.” I could see the waitress and some dude in a suit heading over to the table, so I sank down in my seat, partially covered my face, but continued to watch the train wreck. At last, Kirk shuddered violently, he splatted his entire hand onto the plate and rubbed furiously. And then he locked eyes with me. He sucked the tip of his thumb one final time and said, “You...” There was a long pause during which Kirk lovingly stroked the mess he’d made. “You... are the pie.”
I don’t hang out with Kadillac Kirk anymore. But he’s still a bachelor, ladies!
submitted by CringeyVal0451 to ReddXReads [link] [comments]
Kirk was an older guy. Not MOE old, though. He was in his early forties, but he easily passed for a carefree dude in his 30s... not that he lied about his age. I only mention this trait to juxtapose Kirk’s genuine youthful air with Moe’s unconvincing youthful farce. Kirk dressed normally, avoided stupid jargon, and never busted out gimmicks like tarot cards or spells. He just existed, behaved affably, and people liked him for it.
He drove a classic 1962 Cadillac El Dorado convertible with red leather interior, and he lived in a charmingly quaint (and ridiculously expensive) neighborhood. How he made his fortune remained a mystery, but he never bloviated about his wealth. He just threw spectacular parties and people showed up. And, to my knowledge, he never tried to lure women into bed with his money (although I’m sure he got his fair share of boom-boom thanks to his digs and his wheels, even if the gold-diggers denied their monetary agendas).
Kirk was legitimately handsome. He was a drummer, he had a full head of black hair, he was clean-shaven, he worked out, and he knew all the hidden gems in Wellsprings. So why hadn’t I tried... or even desired to date him? I don’t know. I just didn’t feel drawn to him like that. He felt like a cool uncle and he had, thus far, never done anything to change my perception. Plus, the age difference weirded me out a little. Kirk didn’t look forty; but knowing that he had so much more life experience than I did created a power imbalance that would have creeped me out if we’d been dating. As buddies, I just felt supremely cool riding in his Cadillac, smoking Fantasia cigarettes, and hitting the speakeasies and jazz clubs I would have never known about if it weren’t for Kirk’s connections.
And he had been a good person to talk to about my romantic woes. He never lecherously suggested that I should date him, and he gave the type of tempered advice that only comes with lived experience. But he often lightly mocked me for my crush on Dennis and he did a hilarious impression of Smegal popping too soon over his “precious.” So when Mary “got me back” by doing whatever she did
Why hadn’t I called Whisky??? Well, A) Kirk was way more fun to hang out with, at least from my past experiences up to that point. And B) I needed to bitch about a boy, something I couldn’t do in good conscience in front of a guy I was dating. So I put on the sexiest plunging halter dress I owned, applied heavy eye makeup and spikey accessories, braved a pair of stilettos, and sashayed out to Kirk’s convertible. I felt like a badass rock star. I probably looked like a try-hard hooker.
Kirk: Daaaaay-um! Somebody really did do a number on you, huh? I know you said you were upset, but the gents are gonna be writing thank you notes to that fat girl and that butt-fucking hobbit.
Me: I just need to feel pretty and numb. And I trust you to keep me from making a fool of myself.
Kirk squeezed my shoulder. “I’ve got you. You do whatever you need to do to get rid of these demons.”
He sparked up a J and offered me the first puff. I gladly accepted. He took one puff of his own, but said that the rest was mine since he didn’t want to drive stoned. See? He was responsible! Weed wasn’t legal in California yet, so I got a little bit baked before I stashed the sativa in the glove box and wrapped a scarf around my hair like a starlet from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Kirk sped out of the parking lot and said he was taking me to a downtown hotel that was hosting a party that night in their lush lobby.
Kadillac Kirk pulled up to the main entrance, paid the valet, and then opened my door. I was wobbly from the weed. And I had stupidly decided to wear heels. You can get high or you can wear high (heels). You can’t have both. Not if you’ve repeatedly injured both ankles (as I have). I had to take Kirk’s arm to keep from keeling over. “Can people tell I’m stoned?” I whispered. Kirk replied, “Nobody’s paying any attention to anyone else’s intoxication. I promise you that much.” I nodded, steadied myself, and strutted alongside my very cool friend, feeling a little more confident.
A live jazz orchestra was playing Cole Porter as we entered the lobby. Everything sparkled. The music was even more intoxicating than the spliff had been. “Just One of Those Things” brought tears to my eyes since the lyrics hit every raw nerve regarding the Dennis debacle. But I smiled. It might sound mental, but being distraught over a trash fire of a one-sided romance was exhilarating. Immature, for sure. But also exhilarating. You see, that kind of sadness doesn’t hurt. Not really. It stings. It leaves little bruises, but it’s very safe to wallow in because you haven’t actually lost anything. Melancholia over that which you never had is as sweet as it is bitter; and that type of twisted splendor is rivaled only by Stendhal.
“Here's hoping we meet now and then. It was great fun, but it was just one of those things.” I sang along with the band, and a fat tear rolled down past my melancholic smile and onto my chin. Kirk brushed it aside. “Too close to home?” I wiped away the remnants of the tear’s journey from eye to chin and smiled a more genuine smile. “The perfect distance from home. Shall we get drinks? Remember, I’m buying.”
Kirk: No, no. This is your time to heal. And I’m here as your pal, not your chauffeur. What would the lady like?”
I pretended to barf. Kirk knew I hated it when he got overly formal and overly attentive. So he did it just to mess with me. “Shot of vodka,” I replied.
Kirk: How many?
I thought briefly. “FIVE.”
Kirk: Five to one, baby. One in five...
Me: No one here gets out alive.
Kirk: Are you able to hold yourself upright, or should you come with?
I took a seat on an ornate, damask-upholstered chaise lounge. “I’ll be okay. And I was kidding about the five shots.”
I sat there lost in the music for a while. I thought very little about Dennis. Even less about Mary. And not at all about Whisky (whom I had shagged less than a week ago). My mind danced through the ornate lighting in the hotel lobby, and I suddenly felt the need to join the hoity-toity guests on the dancefloor!
Kirk returned with four shots of vodka. Two for him, two for me. That was quite reasonable of him. He knew damn well that I couldn’t handle five shots, but he also knew that I was in a... state. One that called for more than a single shot. I raised a both miniature glasses to “No more ninnyhammers or hairy-footed lovers.” Kirk did his hilarious Smegal impression, we double-toasted, and downed the shots. The band launched into “Let’s Misbehave,” and I kicked off my stilettos and made a beeline for the dance floor.
“There’s something wild about you child that’s so contagious. Let’s be outrageous! Let’s misbehave.” Kadillac Kirk swept me up, twirled me around, and dipped me as we both sang along with the lyrics. I wasn’t swooning for him, but I was enthralled by the moment. The music, the dancing, the combination of booze and bud... so I kissed him as he pulled me back to my feet. And he kissed back. In a way that Dennis never had. In a way that Whisky’s beard wouldn’t permit. I didn’t feel the visceral sensations that I’d felt when Dennis had kissed me, but it felt nice to feel desired. And then I noticed that other guests were watching us and applauding. Now, that was a dopamine rush if ever there was one!
I gently broke away from the embrace, high-fived Kirk and returned to the chaise lounge to put my stupid shoes back on. He followed me and smashed his face back onto mine. I pulled away and laughed. “It was a moment,” I told him. “I appreciate the dance, and that kiss was the perfect finale. But it’s not happening again.”
Kirk: Not to worry, Valerie. I know you. I knew all along that we were performing, and I was more than happy to be your scene partner.
Me: And dance partner! Those were some excellent moves! I didn’t know you had ballroom training.
Kirk: You name it, I’ve mastered it. Another drink for the lady?
I pretended to barf again. “Not yet. I’m not sad right now. Do you mind if I just sit here and enjoy the music?”
Kirk: Ah. My kisses do have healing properties...
I flipped my hand up at him. “Knock that shit off, bro. I wanted to hang out with you because I trust you not to get weird. Even if I get weird, I know you have the maturity to balance me out.”
Kirk: Are you calling me old???
Me: No. I’m calling you rational, responsible, and respectful.
Kirk: Well, now. If you can articulate an alliterative statement that fluently, then you clearly aren’t drunk enough!
I dismissed this comment as a joke. And he did indeed knock off the flirtation. We had a perfectly pleasant time chatting and dancing (no more kissing, though). And then I noticed a girl I knew from Into the Woods entering the lobby. She’d played Florinda and I’d played Little Red. I called her name and waved enthusiastically. She waved back. And then her date entered. It was D.E.N.N.I.S. I sank into the chaise. Kirk caught on immediately. “The hobbit???” he asked. I nodded silently. “You wanna make out again?” he enthused. I shook my head. I had to go say hello to Flo. And I had an idea...
I crossed the lobby, smiled, squealed, and hugged her.
Florinda: Lil’ Red! It’s been forever! So glad to see you!!! This is my friend, Denny.
Dennis was shifting uncomfortably. I extended my hand. “Nice to meet you. I know your date from Into the Woods. I bet she could tell you some entertaining stories about that show...” Flo laughed out loud, well aware of the many misadventures to which I'd referred. Of course, she might have been laughing because Dennis never, ever listened to anyone else's stories. He was too busy telling, re-telling, slightly altering, and exaggerating his own.
Dennis: C’mon, Val...
Me: Oh, you’ve heard of me? Small world! You guys picked a great night to come here. They’re playing Cole Porter, and the band is delovely!
Florinda (appearing oblivious to the iciness between me and Dennis): Have you seen Prince Big Bad (Scumbanger) lately?
I laughed. “Last time I saw him, he was hitting on some nasty fat chick at The Imp.”
Flo and I both scoffed at the pervy pest. Into the Woods was where I’d initially met Scumbanger. He played The Wolf/Cinderella’s Prince. Again... typecasting. There’s a whole essay in my brain about my first encounter with the pest, during which he quoted the song that he sang to me in the show, “Hello, Little Girl.” But it gets into some pretty uncomfortable territory because he made me feel excited. Well, excited and scared. Nothing of note happened during Into the Woods, but our odd interactions did kind of set the stage for some extremely regrettable events during that Cats cast party.
I excused myself, saying that I needed to get back to my friend. And then I leaned in and said in a hushed voice to Flo, “Watch your ass with that one. If he’s the Denny I’m thinking of...” I gave her a look that only another female would be able to read. Her eyebrows shot up and she nodded. Dennis continued to shift as though he were trying to hold in a massive dump. “BABE! Uh...”
Flo apparently answered to that moniker as well. “What is it, Denny? Don’t worry. That was just telepathic girl talk. You apparently have a reputation...”
Dennis: Different Denny. I assure you I’m a pious gentleman.
Me: Ah. My mistake. Well, then. You guys have a good time! Nice to meet you, Denny. Great to see you, Flo!
I hugged Flo again, gave Dennis a curt nod, ignored the scent of mandarins and mountain air, and returned to Kirk.
I collapsed on the chaise lounge, exhausted from holding back the rage. I had no right to be mad at Florinda. I hadn’t seen her in three years, so how was she supposed to know that I’d had a thing with Dennis? Hell, I couldn’t even be mad at Dennis because the last time he and I had spoken in any meaningful way, I’d told him that I was no longer entertaining my crush on him. So why was I surprised to see him dating??? And why had he never taken ME out on a date like this??? And why wasn’t I smitten with Kadillac Kirk who HAD taken me out on a date like this, was an objectively excellent kisser, and a bona fide BALLER? What was wrong with me???
Kirk suggested going down the street to a quaint little bar and then sobering up at a diner closer to my apartment. I numbly nodded and followed him in silence for a few blocks. He assured me that I had “turned several heads” on the way to the new location, but I neither cared nor believed him. This wasn't the type of numbness I'd been aiming for. Now I needed to get schnockered. “Five shots of vodka, please.” Yes, I was serious.
Kadillac Kirk, my reliable designated driver, ordered only a beer and watched in something across between astonishment, concern, and delight as I slammed all five shots in rapid succession. I half expected to immediately retch all over the bar. But I felt fine. I half expected to immediately lose consciousness and wake up in the hospital. But I remained coherent. How I’d managed to take in that much hard liquor and suffer no direct consequences, I’ll never know.
I think I wanted to suffer. I wanted to either feel nothing at all or to feel a sickness bad enough to distract me from the scorching sting that pulsed through my being when I realized that I had lost the abstract notion I’d been addicted to this entire time. Hope. It wasn’t Dennis himself I couldn’t quit. It was that drug called hope. The hope that maybe, just maybe Dennis would give our romance a fair chance. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would make peace with himself, get his mind out of his crotch, and enjoy some agenda-free togetherness. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would stop bloviating about his admittedly impressive accomplishments for five fucking minutes and ask about my life. I had my own reasonably impressive accomplishments, even if they paled in comparison to his. A proper suitor would have enjoyed hearing about them.
But seeing him out with another woman, a woman who had no reason to parade her Dennis escapades before me as some means of revenge, a woman he was clearly courting of his own volition... My hope had died. It died before I’d had time to wean myself off it. Now I had to mourn the loss of hope, which is a very tricky brand of grief to navigate. Vodka wasn’t the answer, but it was what I had to work with. So it would have to do.
After enough time had passed without vomiting or collapsing, I asked Kirk to bring his car around to the bar so that I didn’t have to walk two and a half blocks drunk and in heels. He nodded and dramatically leaned in for a kiss. I recoiled. “DUDE! I told you. The moment has passed.”
Kirk: I beg your pardon. I misread your eyes. Thought I saw a green light...
Me: It’s fine. I just want to go home while I’m still feeling okay.
Kirk: Of course. Your chariot will be here soon.
He skipped off to fetch his Cadillac and I noticed that the lights in the bar were beginning to dance a bit. This should have been concerning. But then I realized that I was giggling. Wait... What? Oh shit. Sure, I was drunk from those shots. But what I was feeling in that moment wasn’t drunkery. It was stonery. Kirk probably misread my face because my pupils were dilated. Not from desire, but from drug use.
Some of you might be thinking that I was a bad friend for not introducing Lucy, an old dude connoisseur, to Kirk. Well... I did. Several years before the events of this story. He adored her. She, on the other hand, thought he was immature. And she wasn’t wrong. Lucy was astute when it came to sussing out a person’s true nature. Far more astute than I. Her initial assessment that Kirk was immature is about to be vindicated. Stretch those cringe muscles! It’s almost time for pie...
I somehow managed to get to his car. I honestly don’t recall how I got there. Did one of the bartenders carry me? Did some kind patron allow me to lean on him? Had Kadillac Kirk carried me out? I’m not sure. But my memory ceases to be fuzzy about halfway to the 24-hour diner. It might have been the very same 24-hour diner where Mary pulled her... shenanigans. I’ll never know.
Kirk: Would you say that you’re more drunk or more stoned?
Me: STONED. Definitely stoned.
Kirk made some sort of grunty noise and reached for my thigh. I slapped his hand.
Kirk: Stoned but not amorous? That’s rare.
I started laughing rather unkindly. “You’re a fucking horndog! I thought you were my safe straight male friend, dammit.”
Kirk: I solemnly swear that your safety is my primary concern, my stoned beauty.
I pretended to throw up.
Kirk: So... You’re not horny. But are you hungry? The diner I’m heading to makes this Maple Walnut Pie with the most sumptuous... sensual cream and exquisite drizzling of...
Me: Ew! Stop trying to bang the pie. Bro. Are YOU stoned? (Then I remembered the question.) Yes, I’m hungry. But I don’t like nuts. I’ll have banana cream.
Kirk made that repulsive grunty noise again. “Uhhhhh... Mmmmmm. Cream. Yessssss. Yes, we’ll be there in just a minute.” He was squirming in the driver's seat.
Me: GROSS, DUDE! If you’re gonna be like that I’ll just order HASH brows. Get it? Hash??? (I giggled uncontrollably.). You can’t make that sound nasty.
Kirk: Forgive my jokes. I think my blood sugar’s a bit low.
As Kirk parked, I began to wonder how I might get away with walking shoeless into the diner. The stilettos had to get off my feet. At least while I was walking. And Kirk was kind enough to give me his socks and wear his loafers “island style” into the establishment. Okay, that was gallant of him. Maybe he was going to behave himself for the rest of the evening.
I wasn’t terribly talkative as we sat down, and he expressed concern for my emotional well-being. I wasn’t coherent enough to explain what was happening to my emotions and I wasn’t sure I trusted him with my deep, dark secrets at that point. So I shrugged like a sulky teenager, ran my hands over my messy, windblown hair, and mumbled that I was “just hungry.” And right on cue, a very kind, slightly older waitress with a sweet southern accent stopped by to take our order.
Kirk: Ah, yes. We’ll have two cups of black coffee. And we’ll share a slice of that delectable Maple Walnut Pie.
Waitress: Oh, honey. That pie is scrumptious! I take it you’ve been here before?
Kirk: I have. This will be her first time to taste the splendor.
I hated to be a killjoy, but I interrupted and said to the waitress, “Ma’am? I’m sure the Maple Walnut is excellent, but could I please get a slice of Banana Cream? And a big glass of ice water?
Waitress: Sure, hon! Banana Cream’s just as yummy! I’ll be right back with those coffees and that big water.
Kirk was sucking on the tip of his forefinger and shaking his head a bit. “You’re passing up so many sensational... sensual...”
I put my forehead on the table and growled. “You swore you’d stop being nasty!” I held this #headdesk pose for quite some time before I finally lifted my head... only to see that Kirk was still sucking his fingertip and staring at me like a wild animal. “Pleeeeeease be normal,” I whined. “It’s been a really weird night for me.”
Kirk: Indeed. Many surprises. You know... You’re like titanium. Your flame burns so fast and so bright, if a guy doesn’t get in there while the iron is hot, he’ll never get another chance. I was too slow.
What the...? I was pretty sure he was wrong about titanium burning quickly. I’m no chemistry wiz, but my dad and my oldest brother are both big-brains when it comes to physics and chemistry. So I picked up some things just listening to them talk. Accurate or inaccurate, Kirk was being creepy again. He’d never been creepy towards me before, although I’d seen him act like this with other women. Usually with staggering success. Why????? His money. It had to be his money. Kirk was a nice-looking man, but holy shit... No amount of good looks could save this creep show.
And then, our sweet waitress sat down our coffees, my water, and the two slices of pie. After I gulped down a whole bunch of water, I grabbed a fork, prepared to quell my munchies... and then I froze. Kirk was quickly flicking his finger back and forth across the top of his pie. And moaning. He noticed my wide-eyed stare, smirked, sucked the tip of his thumb, picked up the plate with both hands, and began flicking his tongue across the tip of the triangular pie slice. And moaning some more. Well, there went my appetite.
Kirk took his middle finger and jabbed it into the crustless vertex of the pie slice, then he began pumping it in and out like a piston, and flicking his thumb across the increasingly demolished top layer of whipped cream. He gasped this time. People were starting to stare. His pointer finger joined his middle finger in the piston action, and he replaced his thumb with his tongue. Between flicks of the tongue, he groaned, “Oh yeah, baby... Let me taste you,” but it was kind of hard to understand him.
And I was either about to run to the back office, tell them that I was in danger and needed a police escort home... OR I was about to burst out laughing at the spectacle. Kirk continued... He removed his fingers and gregariously licked pie filling off of them. And then he started sucking his fingertips again, switching from middle to pointer, middle to pointer and emitting a delighted little, “Mmmmmm” with every suck.
Finally, he jabbed his fingers back into the utterly destroyed pie, lowered his face into the mess and lapped loudly and passionately, moaning, grunting, and mumbling “Come on, baby. Come on. Mmmmmm. Come on.” I could see the waitress and some dude in a suit heading over to the table, so I sank down in my seat, partially covered my face, but continued to watch the train wreck. At last, Kirk shuddered violently, he splatted his entire hand onto the plate and rubbed furiously. And then he locked eyes with me. He sucked the tip of his thumb one final time and said, “You...” There was a long pause during which Kirk lovingly stroked the mess he’d made. “You... are the pie.”
I don’t hang out with Kadillac Kirk anymore. But he’s still a bachelor, ladies!
2024.05.21 11:00 Drone586 The legend of the twins
He prepared lunch for them and they hurried out into the street. Like every day, she took her twin daughters to school. They were walking around humming a song and holding hands when the phone rang from her bag. It was from work. She responded quickly and her interlocutor asked her to come to the office immediately. Something serious had happened, so she decided that the girls should continue alone; they knew the way well. She kissed them on the forehead and started back. She only took twenty steps. Behind her, the sound of a loud bang followed by a slam on the brakes caused her to turn her head with a horrified expression on her face. The bodies of the two little girls lay inert under a truck. They were still holding hands.
The woman fell into a deep depression from which she managed to get out with a new pregnancy. By the irony of fate, two twin girls were coming to life in her womb. When she gave birth, her striking resemblance to her deceased daughters surprised more than one neighbor. As the little ones grew older, her mother became more and more protective. She was terrified that she might lose them. One day, on the way to school, the sisters went ahead and ran under the watchful eye of the woman. As soon as they stepped onto the asphalt, an iron hand stopped them abruptly. Between heartbroken sobs, her mother begged them never to cross without her permission. “We weren't thinking of doing it. We were already run over once, Mom. It will not happen again".
Since then, some travelers assure that when passing through that section some interference sneaks into the radio and a mysterious melody is heard: the humming of some girls.
submitted by Drone586 to Ulthar_33 [link] [comments]
The woman fell into a deep depression from which she managed to get out with a new pregnancy. By the irony of fate, two twin girls were coming to life in her womb. When she gave birth, her striking resemblance to her deceased daughters surprised more than one neighbor. As the little ones grew older, her mother became more and more protective. She was terrified that she might lose them. One day, on the way to school, the sisters went ahead and ran under the watchful eye of the woman. As soon as they stepped onto the asphalt, an iron hand stopped them abruptly. Between heartbroken sobs, her mother begged them never to cross without her permission. “We weren't thinking of doing it. We were already run over once, Mom. It will not happen again".
Since then, some travelers assure that when passing through that section some interference sneaks into the radio and a mysterious melody is heard: the humming of some girls.
2024.05.21 10:51 Seeker_hu I, a Delhite ,shocked at attitude of Bihar people in trains
2 weeks back , I was travelling from delhi to patna for the 1st time to meet my gf.
In Magadh Express, after it crossed buxar, a swarm of people entered in my 3rd ac coach and started sitting on already reserved seats of other people as if they have the right to sit anywhere.
A person climbed to reserved upper berth without any permission of the reserved passenger and was scolded by person who had a reservation for that seat
A young lady who seemed educated tried sitting on my seat (side lower) without even having the courtesy to ask for it .
I would have allowed her if she would have requested me.
But it seemed , they do not even have the courtesy to request someone before taking any reserved seat
I have travelled to Ahmedabad, Odissa, Bhopal , chandigarh and other places, but I have never seen this pathetic attitude.
Most shocking part was, these bihar local people seemed educated from their dressing still they tried seating anywhere without even asking
I agree , due to shortage of trains or decrease in general/sleeper coaches, they are forced to get into 3rd ac coaches but atleast have the courtesy to request someone to allow them to sit on their reserved seats
Is this normal in Bihar or my experience was an outlier ?
Pls Share your opinion Bihar Folks
submitted by Seeker_hu to bihar [link] [comments]
In Magadh Express, after it crossed buxar, a swarm of people entered in my 3rd ac coach and started sitting on already reserved seats of other people as if they have the right to sit anywhere.
A person climbed to reserved upper berth without any permission of the reserved passenger and was scolded by person who had a reservation for that seat
A young lady who seemed educated tried sitting on my seat (side lower) without even having the courtesy to ask for it .
I would have allowed her if she would have requested me.
But it seemed , they do not even have the courtesy to request someone before taking any reserved seat
I have travelled to Ahmedabad, Odissa, Bhopal , chandigarh and other places, but I have never seen this pathetic attitude.
Most shocking part was, these bihar local people seemed educated from their dressing still they tried seating anywhere without even asking
I agree , due to shortage of trains or decrease in general/sleeper coaches, they are forced to get into 3rd ac coaches but atleast have the courtesy to request someone to allow them to sit on their reserved seats
Is this normal in Bihar or my experience was an outlier ?
Pls Share your opinion Bihar Folks
2024.05.21 09:39 StickManAnimator69 TTTE Drinking Game!
Sourced from https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DrinkingGame/ThomasAndFriends
submitted by StickManAnimator69 to thomasthetankengine [link] [comments]
- Whenever a character says "Confusion and delay", take a drink. Take another if it isn't the Fat ControlleSir Topham Hatt.
- Whenever the Fat ControlleSir Topham Hatt says "You're a really useful engine!", take a drink.
- Whenever Gordon says "Oh, the indignity!" or "Express coming through!", drink.
- When a character gets into an accident, drink.
- Take another one if it's Percy.
- Take four drinks if it’s Edward or Toby.
- Whenever Thomas does something stupid, drink.
- Whenever Gordon or James behave haughtily, drink.
- Take another if it isn't Gordon or James, or if it causes an accident (if both happen, take a drink for each one).
- Whenever Thomas complains about his snow plough, drink.
- Whenever the narrator says "Then there was trouble" or "Luckily, no one was hurt", drink.
- Whenever Gordon boasts about himself, drink.
- Whenever James brags about his red paint, drink.
- Whenever Percy asks about the meaning of a word, drink.
- Whenever Duck brings up his Great Western heritage or starts talking about "two ways of doing things", drink (if both happen, treat it as a singular action).
- Whenever the narrator uses the phrase "[insert character's name here] was/felt cross/happy/sad", drink.
- Take another if it isn't any of those three words.
- When the narrator says "Then, an idea flew into [insert character's name here]'s funnel", drink.
- Everytime the characters laugh spontaneously, drink.
- When Duncan is grumpy, drink.
- When Diesel acts like a jerk, drink.
- Take another if he bumps an engine from behind.
- When Bill and Ben are Trolls, drink.
- Whenever they argue, take another drink.
- Whenever Dart says "What he means is", drink.
- When a character says "Bust my buffers!" or "Cinders and ashes!", drink.
- In the Sharon Miller seasons, whenever a character uses rhyming and/or alliteration, drink until you get alcohol poisoning.
- During The Adventure Begins, take a shot every time someone says "See the world". If it isn't Thomas, take a second.
- Take a shot every time someone says "Master of the Railway". Two if it isn't Hiro himself.
- Take a shot in the movies if an insert vocal song starts playing.
- Look through Season 17, and take a drink every time a scene happens at Ulfstead Castle. Better line up a liver transplant in advance.
- Watch Season 18, and take a drink every time a scene happens at Brendam Docks. You probably won't survive after the previous one.
- Every time Spencer acts like a Jerkass, take a sip.
- If the entire episode goes by without any mention of the Duke and Duchess, finish your drink.
- Take a sip every time the word "streamlined" is said.
- In the CGI seasons, take a drink if an engine other than Gordon pulls express coaches.
- Whenever Edward or Toby indulge in Self-Deprecation, drink.
- Whenever Cranky gets, well, cranky, drink.
- Whenever Marion unleashes her Motor Mouth, drink.
- Whenever Timothy falls for a prank, drink.
- If an engine skives off a job, drink.
- Take two drinks if it isn't Thomas.
- When Gordon and Spencer race, drink.
- When Ferdinand says "That's right!", drink. Prepare for alcohol poisoning if you're watching Misty Island Rescue or Season 15.
- When Henry is ill, drink.
- Take two if it's after his re-shape.
- Another if he's pulling The Flying Kipper and it crashes.
- Take two if it's after his re-shape.
- Take a drink whenever Annie and Claribel are both engaging in Not So Above It All behavior.
- Take two if Daisy is involved.
- Take a sip when the big engines make fun of the little engines. Take another if it's the other way around.
- Take a drink whenever Thomas and Bertie race each other.
- Take a drink when the Troublesome Trucks misbehave. Take another if they cause an accident, or if you hear their high pitched laugh, or when there are shots of their faceplates.
- Finish the drink if the accident results in them getting hurt or straight up torn apart and/or mutilated beyond repair from the crash.
- Take a shot whenever engines complain about another engine being late for their trains.
- Take a shot when the passengers complain about Sodor being a bad railway whenever a delay occurs.
- In the model seasons, take a drink whenever an engine rolls their eyes around when they're happy or got into an accident.
- In the model seasons, take two drinks if you spot studio equipment. Take four drinks if you don't need to rewind and pause.
- Whenever Donald and Douglas argue, drink.
- Whenever James says "Here's James!", drink. Prepare for alcohol poisoning if you're watching the late Brenner-era episodes.
- Whenever something bad happens to the Fat ControlleSir Topham Hatt, drink.
- Whenever the narrator says, "The Fat Controller was just looking forward to/enjoying "X and Y", when he hears bad news.
- If you're watching any episode from Seasons 8-16, take a drink whenever you see a goods train without a brake van coupled to it.
- Take a shot whenever Gordon complains about pulling goods trains. Take another if it's James.
- Take a drink whenever the Steamies insult or make fun of the Diesels. Take two drinks if it's the other way around.
- Take a drink whenever the narrator says "His (or [character name]'s) driver and fireman jumped clear".
- Take two drinks if the narrator doesn't state what happened to the crew at all.
- In the Big World, Big Adventures seasons, take a drink for every Imagine Spot or Just Train Wrong moment.
- In the CGI seasons, take a drink every time Rosie makes a cameo.
- Take a drink every time Daisy encounters a bull.
- Take a drink whenever Daisy speaks Gratuitous French.
- Take a drink when James is the Butt-Monkey.
2024.05.21 09:11 Confident-Scale2473 Help please
I got the rubix cube coach thing and learned how to do it. I was doing it probably 25-100 times a day while watching tv or whatever for about a week and now I’m doing something wrong and I can’t figure out what it is. I’ll venmo someone 20 bucks if they FaceTime me and help me figure out what I’m doing wrong. I bet it will take like 5 minutes. I solved it in under a minute and a half the night my brain broke and I’m stuck. I get past the yellow cross and then there is something wrong.
submitted by Confident-Scale2473 to rubixcube [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 09:00 Larry_Shandling Intro Acting Class in NYC --- 2024
Hi, I have never acted seriously (outside of <5 productions in high school/college).
Honestly, I don't think I have the potential (or really the ambition) to be a great dramatic actor or anything, although I enjoy the experience of performing. I am a competent / confident enough public speaker.
I am 24 and have spent my life doing non-showbiz things. I am trying to reorient my life and pursue standup, write, and create comedic content. I have started on the open mic treadmill but it's early days.
These disclaimers notwithstanding, I think I could benefit from an acting class---just to gain more confidence, learn to express my emotions more authentically, and meet/learn other creative types. Again, even if I don't think I'm interested in being a pro actor, I would like to take the class very seriously.
I am in NYC and have a few months before my job starts.
Many of the more well-known academies seem to have summer intensive programs that I have been exploring:
I wanted to ask if people have any strong recommendations for programs that they think are good AND programs or classes to avoid. Or maybe at my level they are all equal and I should just go to the cheapest one?
I understand that people like me are likely the suckers (inexperienced, untalented, hopeful) who fuel a lot of the so-called money mills.
Of course, I don't want to waste my money, but I'm happy to pay more if it means getting to go to a program where the teachers are serious and meaningfully invested in your progress / other students are relatively high-caliber, versus places which are just giving participation certificates to people with hopeless acting fantasies.
I know people talk a lot about the different methods, I don't really know or care about which one to prefer, I suppose I should try them and see, but not sure how to go about that either; but more than the specific method, I do care about the quality or seriousness of the program.
In general, I do well in high-pressure, intense settings, so I am more worried about receiving insufficient attention than I am about being overwhelmed or stressed. At the same time I recognize I am probably going to suck so a good teacher would probably be unwilling to waste their time with a student like me.
Sorry---this got too long---but any and all thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Any info you could share about your own background would also be useful, just so I know I'm not being duped by a proxy for one of these places.
submitted by Larry_Shandling to acting [link] [comments]
Honestly, I don't think I have the potential (or really the ambition) to be a great dramatic actor or anything, although I enjoy the experience of performing. I am a competent / confident enough public speaker.
I am 24 and have spent my life doing non-showbiz things. I am trying to reorient my life and pursue standup, write, and create comedic content. I have started on the open mic treadmill but it's early days.
These disclaimers notwithstanding, I think I could benefit from an acting class---just to gain more confidence, learn to express my emotions more authentically, and meet/learn other creative types. Again, even if I don't think I'm interested in being a pro actor, I would like to take the class very seriously.
I am in NYC and have a few months before my job starts.
Many of the more well-known academies seem to have summer intensive programs that I have been exploring:
- Lee Strasberg Institute: 12-Week Program, 22 hours/week $7320, 16 hours/week $5,455, 8 hours/week $2,830
- Stella Adler Institute: 9-Week Program, 24 hours/week $4150
- Esper Studio: 6.5-Week Program: 16 hours/week $2600
I wanted to ask if people have any strong recommendations for programs that they think are good AND programs or classes to avoid. Or maybe at my level they are all equal and I should just go to the cheapest one?
I understand that people like me are likely the suckers (inexperienced, untalented, hopeful) who fuel a lot of the so-called money mills.
Of course, I don't want to waste my money, but I'm happy to pay more if it means getting to go to a program where the teachers are serious and meaningfully invested in your progress / other students are relatively high-caliber, versus places which are just giving participation certificates to people with hopeless acting fantasies.
I know people talk a lot about the different methods, I don't really know or care about which one to prefer, I suppose I should try them and see, but not sure how to go about that either; but more than the specific method, I do care about the quality or seriousness of the program.
In general, I do well in high-pressure, intense settings, so I am more worried about receiving insufficient attention than I am about being overwhelmed or stressed. At the same time I recognize I am probably going to suck so a good teacher would probably be unwilling to waste their time with a student like me.
Sorry---this got too long---but any and all thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Any info you could share about your own background would also be useful, just so I know I'm not being duped by a proxy for one of these places.
2024.05.21 08:13 abyss_dreams Is it wrong for me to feel this way?
I wrote so much but I realised no one would read it so here I am again. I feel suffocated. And I don't have anyone to talk to.
I am a NEET dropper. But I gave NEET for the first time. My dad told me to have fun in 11th and 12th and take a drop year for NEET later but to not take too much stress and pressure about it so that's what I did.
I joined NEET coaching later for my long-term, I didn't work so hard initially but slowly I started to love this field. I loved studying. I started studying hard.
I gave NEET 2024 and I'm getting around 430 after checking key. I was happy since I had no coaching for 2 years and I didn't take my foundation seriously in 10th because of COVID and in 9th I was just a kid. I thought "Meri selection tho pakki" (I am a SC female and in my state, last year cutoff was around 419) My sister took 3 drop years, Gave NEET 5 times. She got 400. Last 4 attempts she couldn't cross 310. Well it didn't bother me at first I was happy for her.
My dad is now comparing me to my sister saying that she while studying Btech scored 400 after studying for a week and you scored after a year of coaching. She is so smart, you should have done better and blah blah blah. I feel like a loser now. My sister studied the same syllabus for 5 years, it would be a shame if she didn't get 400 and if I study the same for 5 years, I am sure I can do much better.
I did better than all my friends in mock tests but a few of them who can't even do proper basics scored 500+ by copying. I feel so mad at this. They openly admitted that they copied. They don't deserve this. I envy them. I feel mad at myself. I had gotten my period in middle of exam and I had to lose 10 mins because I had to go and change. I just hope I hadn't left my seat back then. I had no enough time for physics. If I stayed back, I could have done somewhat better. Atleast add like 5 more bits. I regret going out.
Now, Whenever I see online posts about how high they scored, I don't feel happy for them anymore. I feel jealous and mad.
It's such a shitty feeling to feel this way. I feel like I lost everything.
submitted by abyss_dreams to IndianTeenagers [link] [comments]
I am a NEET dropper. But I gave NEET for the first time. My dad told me to have fun in 11th and 12th and take a drop year for NEET later but to not take too much stress and pressure about it so that's what I did.
I joined NEET coaching later for my long-term, I didn't work so hard initially but slowly I started to love this field. I loved studying. I started studying hard.
I gave NEET 2024 and I'm getting around 430 after checking key. I was happy since I had no coaching for 2 years and I didn't take my foundation seriously in 10th because of COVID and in 9th I was just a kid. I thought "Meri selection tho pakki" (I am a SC female and in my state, last year cutoff was around 419) My sister took 3 drop years, Gave NEET 5 times. She got 400. Last 4 attempts she couldn't cross 310. Well it didn't bother me at first I was happy for her.
My dad is now comparing me to my sister saying that she while studying Btech scored 400 after studying for a week and you scored after a year of coaching. She is so smart, you should have done better and blah blah blah. I feel like a loser now. My sister studied the same syllabus for 5 years, it would be a shame if she didn't get 400 and if I study the same for 5 years, I am sure I can do much better.
I did better than all my friends in mock tests but a few of them who can't even do proper basics scored 500+ by copying. I feel so mad at this. They openly admitted that they copied. They don't deserve this. I envy them. I feel mad at myself. I had gotten my period in middle of exam and I had to lose 10 mins because I had to go and change. I just hope I hadn't left my seat back then. I had no enough time for physics. If I stayed back, I could have done somewhat better. Atleast add like 5 more bits. I regret going out.
Now, Whenever I see online posts about how high they scored, I don't feel happy for them anymore. I feel jealous and mad.
It's such a shitty feeling to feel this way. I feel like I lost everything.
2024.05.21 08:00 Equal-Respect-3000 REI Outlet Promo Code - Up to 40% OFF
 | REI Outlet is the perfect place for outdoor enthusiasts to find top-quality gear at discounted prices. Whether you’re gearing up for a camping trip, a hike, or any adventure, REI Outlet has you covered with great deals. submitted by Equal-Respect-3000 to hotdealspromocodes [link] [comments] Now, you can enjoy incredible savings with these REI Outlet coupons:
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2024.05.21 07:41 Hot-Temperature-8564 My WIP for a extensive AU timeline:
Hi everyone! So, i have been expanding my annotations on dates of events of ASOIAF in my AU and i just wanted to share my current list of dates.
Things to keep in mind:
1: WIP. I will only start this fic when i end my current one.
2; Is a AU that changes a lot of things, like: title names, shorter timespan, Valyria was a Empire, different marriages, it is a Rhaegar Wins AU, dragons never died out (but also never were super numerous, so there is dragons from canon that were hatched only later on and some are still alive by 298 AC). So, it is quite different, but still similar for future readers.
3: I have a Family Tree for this AU! Link in the comments.
So... the Timeline. Any questions? Let me know!
First Men Invasion - 2562 BC
The Grey King kills Nagga and becomes the High King of the Ironborn - 2380 BC
Children of the Light come to Valyria - 2262 BC
Rise of House Shell as Kings of the Broken Arm - 2233 BC
The Long Night - 2203 BC - 2198 BC
Arthur Fisher proclaims himself as King of the Riverlands after receiving the sword Avalon from a lake - 2185 BC
King Garth I Gardener's War for Mandervale and the Cockleswhent surrender - 2180 BC - 2175 BC
The Grey King dies - 2180 BC
King Garth II Gardener's War for Misty Islands - 2167 BC - 2160 BC
King Garth II Gardener's War for Blueburn - 2155 BC - 2151 BC
King Garth II Gardener's War for Coldmoat - 2147 BC - 2143 BC
King Garland I Gardener's War for Bitterbridge - 2140 BC - 2135 BC
King Garth III Gardener annexes Red Lake - 2117 BC
King Garth III Gardener annexes Old Oak - 2114 BC
King Garth III Gardener annexes Goldengrove - 2107 BC
Andahar (High Septon I) receives a vision from the Seven and founds the religion - 2107 BC
Hugor Sunderchane converts to the Seven - 2103 BC
Andahar (High Septon I) is executed and Hugor Sunderchane starts a Holy War against the Clans in revenge - 2100 BC
Kings Garth IV and Meryn II Gardener's War for Torrentpeak - 2099 BC - 2092 BC
The High Empire of the Andals is founded by High Emperor Hugor I Sunderchane - 2093 BC
House Mudd inherites the titles of House Fisher - 2087 BC
King Meryn II Gardener's War for Tumbleton - 2086 BC - 2081 BC
King Varald II Mudd conquers Blackwood Vale - 2055 BC
Urras Greyiron becomes High King of the Iron Islands - 1980 BC
Durrandon Conquest of Tarth and Doom of Morne - 1904 BC - 1902 BC
King Garland II Gardener annexes the South Reach - 1864 BC
King Monfryd I Durrandon conquers Duskendale - 1734 BC
King Monfryd I Durrandon conquers Maidenpool - 1733 BC
Maidenpool gets Independence - 1714 BC
Duskendale gets Independence - 1713 BC
Riverlands vs the Alliance of Five - 1565 BC - 1553 BC
King Domlech I Mudd conquers Duskendale - 1562 BC
King Domlech I Mudd conquers Stokeworth - 1559 BC
King Domlech I Mudd conquers Rosby - 1556 BC
King Domlech I Mudd conquers Hayford - 1554 BC
King Domlech I Mudd conquers Blackwater Rush - 1553 BC
1st Draconic Conquest - 1532 BC - 1520 BC
Fall of Aliegor and rise of Valyria - 1520 BC
King Tywin I Lannister tries to take Goldengrove by force after feeling insulted by House Gardener and loses - 1481 - 1480
First Ghiscari War - 1398 BC - 1386 BC
Second Ghiscari War - 1339 BC - 1331 BC
Third Ghiscari War - 1298 BC - 1293 BC
Forth Ghiscari War - 1264 BC - 1260 BC
Fifth Ghiscari War - 1245 BC - 1242 BC
Urron Greyiron ends the Kingsmoot - 1232 BC
Andal Invasion of the Vale - 1200 BC - 1188 BC
First Sarnori War - 1176 BC - 1173 BC
Andal Invasion of the Riverlands - 1172 BC - 1066 BC
Andal Invasion of the Stormlands - 1168 BC - 1065 BC
Second Sarnori War - 1166 BC - 1161 BC
Andal Invasion of the Dorne - 1065 BC - 1050 BC
Andal Invasion of the Westerlands - 1161 BC - 1134 BC
Third Sarnori War - 1148 BC - 1142 BC
Andal Invasion of the North - 1146 BC - 1133 BC
Andal Invasion of the Reach - 1129 BC - 1111 BC
Forth Sarnori War - 1117 BC - 1115 BC
Andal Invasion of the Iron Islands - 1105 BC - 1087 BC
Fall of House Greyiron - 1087 BC
Fall of House Mudd - 1066 BC
King Edmure I Tully creates Riverrun (region previously disputed between Blackwoods and Brackens) - 1066 BC
King Alyn I Blackwood wins Trial by the Seven and House Blackwood remains faithful to the Old Gods - 1066 BC
Conversion of House Toland, Fall of House Tor and Rise of House Jordayne - 1063 BC
Fall of House Shell and Rise of House Martell - 1062 BC
Fall of House Grace and Rise of House Allyrion - 1061 BC
Fall of House Brim and Rise of House Uller - 1059 BC
Conversion of House Dayne - 1056 BC
Conversion of House Blackmont - 1055 BC
Conversion of House Fowler - 1053 BC
Conversion of House Yronwood - 1050 BC
First Rhoynish War (First Turtle War) - 1041 BC - 1035 BC
Second Rhoynish War (War of Three Kings) - 1017 BC - 1014 BC
Benedict Rivers takes Avalon from the ground and founds House Justman - 1007 BC
Third Rhoynish War (Second Turtle War) - 999 BC - 993 BC
Forth Rhoynish War (Fisherman's War) - 975 BC - 966 BC
Fifth Rhoynish War (First Salt War) - 949 BC - 945 BC
Riverlands vs the Alliance of Five - 949 BC - 939 BC
King Benedict II Justman conquers Hayford - 946 BC
King Benedict II Justman conquers Blackwater Rush - 945 BC
King Benedict II Justman conquers Rosby - 942 BC
King Benedict II Justman conquers Stokeworth - 940 BC
King Benedict II Justman conquers Duskendale - 939 BC
Sixth Rhoynish War (Third Turtle War) - 923 BC - 913 BC
Seventh Rhoynish War (War on Dagger Lake) - 889 BC - 883 BC
Eighth Rhoynish War (First Spice War) - 858 BC - 849 BC
Ninth Rhoynish War (Second Salt War) - 828 BC - 825 BC
Tenth Rhoynish War (Forth Turtle War) - 802 BC - 795 BC
Eleventh Rhoynish War (Second Spice War) - 776 BC - 766 BC
Battle of Volon Therys - 768 BC
Rhoynish Invasion of Dorne - 766 BC - 748 BC
Norvos bends the knee to Valyria - 766 BC
Pact of Womanhood - 757 BC
Qhoredian Age - 731 BC - 566 BC
First Andal War - 726 BC - 720 BC
Second Andal War - 718 BC - 713 BC
Qhoredian invasion of the Riverlands - 716 BC - 712 BC
Fall of House Justman - 712 BC
Third Andal War - 711 BC - 707 BC
King Perceon III Gardener exiles House Manderly - 707 BC
Forth Andal War - 705 BC - 702 BC
Fifth Andal War - 700 BC - 697 BC
Sixth Andal War - 695 BC - 693 BC
Seventh Andal War - 691 BC - 688 BC
Rise of House Teague when Torrence Teague finds Avalon and is proclaimed King of the Riverlands - 581 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Willow's Wood - 579 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Blackwood Vale - 575 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Riverrun - 574 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Southstone - 573 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Acorn's Rest - 570 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Wayfarer's Rest - 567 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Seagard - 565 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers the Crossing - 561 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers the God's Eye - 558 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Esgaroth - 555 BC
King Benedict IV Teague conquers Maidenpool - 538 BC
The Millennial Valyrian Celebration - 520 BC
The cursed line of Rowans - 414 BC - 383 BC
King Arlan I Durrandon conquers Tumbleton - 383 BC
King Arlan I Durrandon conquers Blackwater Rush - 372 BC
King Arlan II Durrandon conquers Hayford - 356 BC
King Arlan II Durrandon conquers Rosby - 352 BC
Valyrian Colony of Dragonstone is founded - 351 BC
King Maldon V Durrandon conquers Stokeworth - 326 BC
King Maldon V Durrandon conquers Duskendale - 324 BC
Battle of the Six Kings / Fall of House Teague and Dondarrion Conquest of the Riverlands - 290 BC
Main line of House Targaryen leaves Valyria and settles in Dragonstone - 114 BC
Doom of Valyria - 102 BC
Hoare Conquest of the Riverlands - 90 BC - 87 BC
Construction of Harrenhal Starts - 42 BC
Prince Horonno Qhaedar is deposed and executed by the Elephants - 4 BC
Aegon's Conquest starts / creaton of New Valyria (AU King's Landing) - 2 BC
Burning of Harrenhal and fall of House Hoare - 2 BC
Field of Fire - 1 BC
Aegon the Conqueror splits the Reach in North Reach (ruled by House Tyrell) and South Reach (ruled by House Hightower) - 1 BC
Aegon the Conqueror is officialy crowned as Emperor Aegon of House Targaryen, first of his name, Emperor of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Ten Kingdoms and Protector of the Empire - 1 BC
First Dornish War - 7 AC to early 10 AC
1st Great Tourney - 10 AC
Second Dornish War - late 10 AC to 14 AC
Death of Emperor Aegon I Targaryen - 37 AC
Faith Militant Uprising - 41 AC to 48 AC
Death of Emperor Aenys I Targaryen - 42 AC
Maegor Targaryen usurps the throne - 42 AC
Death of Emperor Maegor I Targaryen - 48 AC
Emperor Jaehaerys I Targaryen marries Alysanne Targaryen, the only child of Maegor the Cruel and Ceryse Hightower - 48 AC
Princess Aerea Targaryen marries King Rodrik III Arryn of the Vale - 60 AC
Princess Viserra Targaryen marries the young heir in the line of White Harbor - 87 AC
Baelon the Braven is chosen as heir of the Empire under the Principle of Proximity - 92 AC
The Great Council - 101 AC
Death of Emperor Jaehaerys I Targaryen - 103 AC
Conquest of the Stepstones - 106 AC - 115 AC
Death of Emperor Viserys I Targaryen - 129 AC
Dance of Dragons (DRAGONS DON'T GO EXTINCT) - 129 AC - 131 AC
Suicide of Emperor Aegon II Targaryen - 131 AC
Emperor Aegon III Targaryen marries Jaehaera Targaryen for political concerns - 131 AC
Princess Baela Targaryen marries Duke Aethan II Addam Velaryon of Driftmark - 132 AC
Princess Rhaena Targaryen marries King Lyonel I Hightower of the South Reach - 132 AC
Prince Viserys Targaryen returns to Westeros with the Rogares - 134 AC
Prince Viserys Targaryen claims his dragon and ends the political drama between Westeros and Lys - 135 AC
Death of Emperor Aegon III Targaryen - 157 AC
Conquest of Dorne - 157 AC - 161 AC
The Dornish Treachery / Death of Emperor Daeron I Targaryen - 161 AC
Death of Emperor Baelor I Targaryen - 171 AC
Princess Elaena Targaryen marries Count Aelyn I Alyn "Oakenfist" Longwaters of Nimmark - 171 AC
Death of Emperor Viserys II Targaryen - 176 AC
Summerhall emerges as the title of the second in line to the throne - 179 AC
18th Great Tourney filled with political tensions - 180 AC
Emperor Aegon IV Targaryen ends the good relations with House Rogare - 181 AC
Emperor Aegon IV Targaryen knights Daemon Blackfyre - 182 AC
Daemon Blackfyre, authorized by the Emperor, claims Morghon the Cannibal - 183 AC
Death of Emperor Aegon IV Targaryen and legitimized Great Bastards - 184 AC
First Blackfyre Rebellion - 196 AC
Ashford Tourney - 209 AC
Death of Emperor Daeron II Targaryen - 209 AC
Second Blackfyre Rebellion - 212 AC
Third Blackfyre Rebellion - 219 AC
Ser Duncan the Tall wins the hand of Princess Daella Targaryen in the 22th Great Tourney - 220 AC
Death of Emperor Aerys I Targaryen - 221 AC
Princess Rhaenys "Rhae" Targaryen marries Duke Vaemond II Velaryon of Driftmark - 221 AC
Death of Emperor Maekar I Targaryen - 233 AC
Forth Blackfyre Rebellion - 236 AC
Imperial Prince Viserys IV Duncan Targaryen of Dragonstone is disinherited - 239 AC
Princess Rhaelle Targaryen marries Prince Ormund Baratheon - 245 AC
Prince Steffon Baratheon hatches a dragon - 246 AC
Fifth Blackfyre Rebellion / War of the Nine Penny Kings - late 260 AC
Death of Emperor Aegon V Targaryen - late 260 AC
Reyne-Tarbeck Rebellion - 261 AC
Prince Stannis Baratheon hatches a dragon - 264 AC
Death of Emperor Jaehaerys II Targaryen - 266 AC
Defiance of Duskendale - 277 AC
Year of the False Spring - 281 AC
The Baratheon Rebellion - 282 AC - 283 AC
Imperial Prince Rhaegar I Targaryen of Dragonstone defeats King Robert I Baratheon of the Stormlands in a dragon duel - 283 AC
Imperial Prince Rhaegar I Targaryen of Dragonstone defeats King Stannis I Baratheon of the Stormlands in a dragon duel - 283 AC
Death of Emperor Aerys II Targaryen / Trial of Jaime Lannister - 283 AC
Emperor Rhaegar I Targaryen settles the war and takes Lyanna as his second wife in a shady way with the help of the High Septon, but the Empire is tense because of it - 283 AC
Prince Brynden Tully is appointed to the Imperial Guard - 284 AC
Benjen Stark decides to be by the side of his sister in the capital and becomes a ward of the Blackfish - 284 AC
Dowager Empress Rhaella I Targaryen marries Maegor Monford Velaryon - 284 AC
Jaime and Cersei are caught and Cersei is forced to marry Ser Addam Marbrand - 285 AC
Prince Jaime Lannister marries Ashara Dayne - 285 AC
Benjen Stark is knighted by the Blackfish - 286 AC
Benjen Stark is appointed to the Imperial Guard - 289 AC
Greyjoy Rebellion - 289 AC
29th Great Tourney - 290 AC
Princess Rhaenys Targaryen is promised to Prince Robb Stark - 290 AC
Prince Jaehaerys III Targaryen of Summerhall leaves as a ward to King Eddard II Stark of the North and Benjen goes with him - 290 AC
Princess Asha Greyjoy marries Prince Edmure Tully as part of the agreement in the Greyjoy Rebellion - 292 AC
Prince Viserys Targaryen marries Princess Arianne Martell in a Dornish Matrilineal Marriage and moves to Sunspear - 293 AC
Imperial Prince Aegon IX Targaryen of Dragonstone is bethroted to Princess Margaery Tyrell - 294 AC
Princess Vanora Martell hatches a dragon - 295 AC
King Jon I Arryn of the Vale dies - late 297 AC
Prince Jaehaerys III Targaryen of Summerhall goes to New Valyria with House Stark - 298 AC
submitted by Hot-Temperature-8564 to TheCitadel [link] [comments]
Things to keep in mind:
1: WIP. I will only start this fic when i end my current one.
2; Is a AU that changes a lot of things, like: title names, shorter timespan, Valyria was a Empire, different marriages, it is a Rhaegar Wins AU, dragons never died out (but also never were super numerous, so there is dragons from canon that were hatched only later on and some are still alive by 298 AC). So, it is quite different, but still similar for future readers.
3: I have a Family Tree for this AU! Link in the comments.
So... the Timeline. Any questions? Let me know!
First Men Invasion - 2562 BC
The Grey King kills Nagga and becomes the High King of the Ironborn - 2380 BC
Children of the Light come to Valyria - 2262 BC
Rise of House Shell as Kings of the Broken Arm - 2233 BC
The Long Night - 2203 BC - 2198 BC
Arthur Fisher proclaims himself as King of the Riverlands after receiving the sword Avalon from a lake - 2185 BC
King Garth I Gardener's War for Mandervale and the Cockleswhent surrender - 2180 BC - 2175 BC
The Grey King dies - 2180 BC
King Garth II Gardener's War for Misty Islands - 2167 BC - 2160 BC
King Garth II Gardener's War for Blueburn - 2155 BC - 2151 BC
King Garth II Gardener's War for Coldmoat - 2147 BC - 2143 BC
King Garland I Gardener's War for Bitterbridge - 2140 BC - 2135 BC
King Garth III Gardener annexes Red Lake - 2117 BC
King Garth III Gardener annexes Old Oak - 2114 BC
King Garth III Gardener annexes Goldengrove - 2107 BC
Andahar (High Septon I) receives a vision from the Seven and founds the religion - 2107 BC
Hugor Sunderchane converts to the Seven - 2103 BC
Andahar (High Septon I) is executed and Hugor Sunderchane starts a Holy War against the Clans in revenge - 2100 BC
Kings Garth IV and Meryn II Gardener's War for Torrentpeak - 2099 BC - 2092 BC
The High Empire of the Andals is founded by High Emperor Hugor I Sunderchane - 2093 BC
House Mudd inherites the titles of House Fisher - 2087 BC
King Meryn II Gardener's War for Tumbleton - 2086 BC - 2081 BC
King Varald II Mudd conquers Blackwood Vale - 2055 BC
Urras Greyiron becomes High King of the Iron Islands - 1980 BC
Durrandon Conquest of Tarth and Doom of Morne - 1904 BC - 1902 BC
King Garland II Gardener annexes the South Reach - 1864 BC
King Monfryd I Durrandon conquers Duskendale - 1734 BC
King Monfryd I Durrandon conquers Maidenpool - 1733 BC
Maidenpool gets Independence - 1714 BC
Duskendale gets Independence - 1713 BC
Riverlands vs the Alliance of Five - 1565 BC - 1553 BC
King Domlech I Mudd conquers Duskendale - 1562 BC
King Domlech I Mudd conquers Stokeworth - 1559 BC
King Domlech I Mudd conquers Rosby - 1556 BC
King Domlech I Mudd conquers Hayford - 1554 BC
King Domlech I Mudd conquers Blackwater Rush - 1553 BC
1st Draconic Conquest - 1532 BC - 1520 BC
Fall of Aliegor and rise of Valyria - 1520 BC
King Tywin I Lannister tries to take Goldengrove by force after feeling insulted by House Gardener and loses - 1481 - 1480
First Ghiscari War - 1398 BC - 1386 BC
Second Ghiscari War - 1339 BC - 1331 BC
Third Ghiscari War - 1298 BC - 1293 BC
Forth Ghiscari War - 1264 BC - 1260 BC
Fifth Ghiscari War - 1245 BC - 1242 BC
Urron Greyiron ends the Kingsmoot - 1232 BC
Andal Invasion of the Vale - 1200 BC - 1188 BC
First Sarnori War - 1176 BC - 1173 BC
Andal Invasion of the Riverlands - 1172 BC - 1066 BC
Andal Invasion of the Stormlands - 1168 BC - 1065 BC
Second Sarnori War - 1166 BC - 1161 BC
Andal Invasion of the Dorne - 1065 BC - 1050 BC
Andal Invasion of the Westerlands - 1161 BC - 1134 BC
Third Sarnori War - 1148 BC - 1142 BC
Andal Invasion of the North - 1146 BC - 1133 BC
Andal Invasion of the Reach - 1129 BC - 1111 BC
Forth Sarnori War - 1117 BC - 1115 BC
Andal Invasion of the Iron Islands - 1105 BC - 1087 BC
Fall of House Greyiron - 1087 BC
Fall of House Mudd - 1066 BC
King Edmure I Tully creates Riverrun (region previously disputed between Blackwoods and Brackens) - 1066 BC
King Alyn I Blackwood wins Trial by the Seven and House Blackwood remains faithful to the Old Gods - 1066 BC
Conversion of House Toland, Fall of House Tor and Rise of House Jordayne - 1063 BC
Fall of House Shell and Rise of House Martell - 1062 BC
Fall of House Grace and Rise of House Allyrion - 1061 BC
Fall of House Brim and Rise of House Uller - 1059 BC
Conversion of House Dayne - 1056 BC
Conversion of House Blackmont - 1055 BC
Conversion of House Fowler - 1053 BC
Conversion of House Yronwood - 1050 BC
First Rhoynish War (First Turtle War) - 1041 BC - 1035 BC
Second Rhoynish War (War of Three Kings) - 1017 BC - 1014 BC
Benedict Rivers takes Avalon from the ground and founds House Justman - 1007 BC
Third Rhoynish War (Second Turtle War) - 999 BC - 993 BC
Forth Rhoynish War (Fisherman's War) - 975 BC - 966 BC
Fifth Rhoynish War (First Salt War) - 949 BC - 945 BC
Riverlands vs the Alliance of Five - 949 BC - 939 BC
King Benedict II Justman conquers Hayford - 946 BC
King Benedict II Justman conquers Blackwater Rush - 945 BC
King Benedict II Justman conquers Rosby - 942 BC
King Benedict II Justman conquers Stokeworth - 940 BC
King Benedict II Justman conquers Duskendale - 939 BC
Sixth Rhoynish War (Third Turtle War) - 923 BC - 913 BC
Seventh Rhoynish War (War on Dagger Lake) - 889 BC - 883 BC
Eighth Rhoynish War (First Spice War) - 858 BC - 849 BC
Ninth Rhoynish War (Second Salt War) - 828 BC - 825 BC
Tenth Rhoynish War (Forth Turtle War) - 802 BC - 795 BC
Eleventh Rhoynish War (Second Spice War) - 776 BC - 766 BC
Battle of Volon Therys - 768 BC
Rhoynish Invasion of Dorne - 766 BC - 748 BC
Norvos bends the knee to Valyria - 766 BC
Pact of Womanhood - 757 BC
Qhoredian Age - 731 BC - 566 BC
First Andal War - 726 BC - 720 BC
Second Andal War - 718 BC - 713 BC
Qhoredian invasion of the Riverlands - 716 BC - 712 BC
Fall of House Justman - 712 BC
Third Andal War - 711 BC - 707 BC
King Perceon III Gardener exiles House Manderly - 707 BC
Forth Andal War - 705 BC - 702 BC
Fifth Andal War - 700 BC - 697 BC
Sixth Andal War - 695 BC - 693 BC
Seventh Andal War - 691 BC - 688 BC
Rise of House Teague when Torrence Teague finds Avalon and is proclaimed King of the Riverlands - 581 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Willow's Wood - 579 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Blackwood Vale - 575 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Riverrun - 574 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Southstone - 573 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Acorn's Rest - 570 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Wayfarer's Rest - 567 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Seagard - 565 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers the Crossing - 561 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers the God's Eye - 558 BC
King Torrence I Teague conquers Esgaroth - 555 BC
King Benedict IV Teague conquers Maidenpool - 538 BC
The Millennial Valyrian Celebration - 520 BC
The cursed line of Rowans - 414 BC - 383 BC
King Arlan I Durrandon conquers Tumbleton - 383 BC
King Arlan I Durrandon conquers Blackwater Rush - 372 BC
King Arlan II Durrandon conquers Hayford - 356 BC
King Arlan II Durrandon conquers Rosby - 352 BC
Valyrian Colony of Dragonstone is founded - 351 BC
King Maldon V Durrandon conquers Stokeworth - 326 BC
King Maldon V Durrandon conquers Duskendale - 324 BC
Battle of the Six Kings / Fall of House Teague and Dondarrion Conquest of the Riverlands - 290 BC
Main line of House Targaryen leaves Valyria and settles in Dragonstone - 114 BC
Doom of Valyria - 102 BC
Hoare Conquest of the Riverlands - 90 BC - 87 BC
Construction of Harrenhal Starts - 42 BC
Prince Horonno Qhaedar is deposed and executed by the Elephants - 4 BC
Aegon's Conquest starts / creaton of New Valyria (AU King's Landing) - 2 BC
Burning of Harrenhal and fall of House Hoare - 2 BC
Field of Fire - 1 BC
Aegon the Conqueror splits the Reach in North Reach (ruled by House Tyrell) and South Reach (ruled by House Hightower) - 1 BC
Aegon the Conqueror is officialy crowned as Emperor Aegon of House Targaryen, first of his name, Emperor of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Ten Kingdoms and Protector of the Empire - 1 BC
First Dornish War - 7 AC to early 10 AC
1st Great Tourney - 10 AC
Second Dornish War - late 10 AC to 14 AC
Death of Emperor Aegon I Targaryen - 37 AC
Faith Militant Uprising - 41 AC to 48 AC
Death of Emperor Aenys I Targaryen - 42 AC
Maegor Targaryen usurps the throne - 42 AC
Death of Emperor Maegor I Targaryen - 48 AC
Emperor Jaehaerys I Targaryen marries Alysanne Targaryen, the only child of Maegor the Cruel and Ceryse Hightower - 48 AC
Princess Aerea Targaryen marries King Rodrik III Arryn of the Vale - 60 AC
Princess Viserra Targaryen marries the young heir in the line of White Harbor - 87 AC
Baelon the Braven is chosen as heir of the Empire under the Principle of Proximity - 92 AC
The Great Council - 101 AC
Death of Emperor Jaehaerys I Targaryen - 103 AC
Conquest of the Stepstones - 106 AC - 115 AC
Death of Emperor Viserys I Targaryen - 129 AC
Dance of Dragons (DRAGONS DON'T GO EXTINCT) - 129 AC - 131 AC
Suicide of Emperor Aegon II Targaryen - 131 AC
Emperor Aegon III Targaryen marries Jaehaera Targaryen for political concerns - 131 AC
Princess Baela Targaryen marries Duke Aethan II Addam Velaryon of Driftmark - 132 AC
Princess Rhaena Targaryen marries King Lyonel I Hightower of the South Reach - 132 AC
Prince Viserys Targaryen returns to Westeros with the Rogares - 134 AC
Prince Viserys Targaryen claims his dragon and ends the political drama between Westeros and Lys - 135 AC
Death of Emperor Aegon III Targaryen - 157 AC
Conquest of Dorne - 157 AC - 161 AC
The Dornish Treachery / Death of Emperor Daeron I Targaryen - 161 AC
Death of Emperor Baelor I Targaryen - 171 AC
Princess Elaena Targaryen marries Count Aelyn I Alyn "Oakenfist" Longwaters of Nimmark - 171 AC
Death of Emperor Viserys II Targaryen - 176 AC
Summerhall emerges as the title of the second in line to the throne - 179 AC
18th Great Tourney filled with political tensions - 180 AC
Emperor Aegon IV Targaryen ends the good relations with House Rogare - 181 AC
Emperor Aegon IV Targaryen knights Daemon Blackfyre - 182 AC
Daemon Blackfyre, authorized by the Emperor, claims Morghon the Cannibal - 183 AC
Death of Emperor Aegon IV Targaryen and legitimized Great Bastards - 184 AC
First Blackfyre Rebellion - 196 AC
Ashford Tourney - 209 AC
Death of Emperor Daeron II Targaryen - 209 AC
Second Blackfyre Rebellion - 212 AC
Third Blackfyre Rebellion - 219 AC
Ser Duncan the Tall wins the hand of Princess Daella Targaryen in the 22th Great Tourney - 220 AC
Death of Emperor Aerys I Targaryen - 221 AC
Princess Rhaenys "Rhae" Targaryen marries Duke Vaemond II Velaryon of Driftmark - 221 AC
Death of Emperor Maekar I Targaryen - 233 AC
Forth Blackfyre Rebellion - 236 AC
Imperial Prince Viserys IV Duncan Targaryen of Dragonstone is disinherited - 239 AC
Princess Rhaelle Targaryen marries Prince Ormund Baratheon - 245 AC
Prince Steffon Baratheon hatches a dragon - 246 AC
Fifth Blackfyre Rebellion / War of the Nine Penny Kings - late 260 AC
Death of Emperor Aegon V Targaryen - late 260 AC
Reyne-Tarbeck Rebellion - 261 AC
Prince Stannis Baratheon hatches a dragon - 264 AC
Death of Emperor Jaehaerys II Targaryen - 266 AC
Defiance of Duskendale - 277 AC
Year of the False Spring - 281 AC
The Baratheon Rebellion - 282 AC - 283 AC
Imperial Prince Rhaegar I Targaryen of Dragonstone defeats King Robert I Baratheon of the Stormlands in a dragon duel - 283 AC
Imperial Prince Rhaegar I Targaryen of Dragonstone defeats King Stannis I Baratheon of the Stormlands in a dragon duel - 283 AC
Death of Emperor Aerys II Targaryen / Trial of Jaime Lannister - 283 AC
Emperor Rhaegar I Targaryen settles the war and takes Lyanna as his second wife in a shady way with the help of the High Septon, but the Empire is tense because of it - 283 AC
Prince Brynden Tully is appointed to the Imperial Guard - 284 AC
Benjen Stark decides to be by the side of his sister in the capital and becomes a ward of the Blackfish - 284 AC
Dowager Empress Rhaella I Targaryen marries Maegor Monford Velaryon - 284 AC
Jaime and Cersei are caught and Cersei is forced to marry Ser Addam Marbrand - 285 AC
Prince Jaime Lannister marries Ashara Dayne - 285 AC
Benjen Stark is knighted by the Blackfish - 286 AC
Benjen Stark is appointed to the Imperial Guard - 289 AC
Greyjoy Rebellion - 289 AC
29th Great Tourney - 290 AC
Princess Rhaenys Targaryen is promised to Prince Robb Stark - 290 AC
Prince Jaehaerys III Targaryen of Summerhall leaves as a ward to King Eddard II Stark of the North and Benjen goes with him - 290 AC
Princess Asha Greyjoy marries Prince Edmure Tully as part of the agreement in the Greyjoy Rebellion - 292 AC
Prince Viserys Targaryen marries Princess Arianne Martell in a Dornish Matrilineal Marriage and moves to Sunspear - 293 AC
Imperial Prince Aegon IX Targaryen of Dragonstone is bethroted to Princess Margaery Tyrell - 294 AC
Princess Vanora Martell hatches a dragon - 295 AC
King Jon I Arryn of the Vale dies - late 297 AC
Prince Jaehaerys III Targaryen of Summerhall goes to New Valyria with House Stark - 298 AC
2024.05.21 07:38 khalizaneka I just signed this 191 PA regen for 71M, What role do you think would be best for him?
 | submitted by khalizaneka to footballmanagergames [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 07:29 Count-Daring243 Best Co Witness Red Dot
 | submitted by Count-Daring243 to u/Count-Daring243 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/e8adgd3qtp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=50073a13d02b0b73c3d533fa0b65c18febef9166 Welcome to our latest product review featuring the Co Witness Red Dot. This versatile accessory has been making waves in the shooting community for its sleek design and impressive performance. In this article, we will be diving into its features, pros, and cons, ensuring that you have a clear understanding of whether it's the right fit for your shooting needs. So, buckle up and prepare to learn all about the Co Witness Red Dot. The Top 13 Best Co Witness Red Dot
Reviews🔗Thomas & Betts Red-Dot Weather-proof 1-Gang Co Witness Red Dot Cover for FS Boxeshttps://preview.redd.it/fslz2djqtp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f62f11f6aa9db06d1ded42e3a95fe33ab09348ca As a reviewer, I've been using the Red-Dot CCB 1-Gang RT Blank Cover in my daily life for a few weeks now, and I must say, it's been a game-changer for me. One of the features that stood out for me is the die-cast construction and industrial design, which offers a rugged, protective enclosure for my devices. The clean cover edges provide excellent gasket sealing, keeping my wiring devices and electronic components safe from dust, moisture, and other potential hazards. I also appreciate the precision cast and machined surfaces that allow me to safely pull wires without damaging any components. However, there's one downside I've noticed - it can be a bit tricky to mount the cover using the convenient mounting lugs, especially if I'm working in tight spaces. Despite this minor inconvenience, the Red-Dot CCB 1-Gang RT Blank Cover has been a reliable and effective solution to keep my wiring devices and electronics protected in a variety of situations. 🔗Rugged, University Red Nike KD 13 EP Sneakerhttps://preview.redd.it/iqyy00xqtp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6f7718dc347263cc7d9f3808c02246a49f9cee12 As a sneaker enthusiast, I recently tried the Nike KD 13 'University Red' in men's size 10. The moment I slipped my foot into the shoe, I felt the comfort of the synthetic upper material. The rubber sole with a flat heel was perfect for my outdoor workouts. The round toe and full-length Zoom Air unit provided an excellent fit and responsiveness. The shoe's standout feature was the all-over graphic print inspired by hip-hop culture. The metallic gold Swoosh branding added an opulent touch. However, I found that the design made the shoes a bit flashy for my everyday casual wear. Overall, the Nike KD 13 'University Red' is a durable, stylish, and comfortable sneaker. While the graphic print might not be for everyone, the shoe's performance and comfortable fit make it a solid choice for those who appreciate eye-catching design. 🔗Hardwired Smoke & Carbon Monoxide Detector with AA Battery Backuphttps://preview.redd.it/djs2qgartp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc1a885672bbcd5402c0f0a1b8bf883469513887 I've been using the Kidde Code One hardwired smoke and carbon monoxide detector in my home for a few months now. It's a reliable safety device that's been working smoothly. The photoelectric sensor detects visible fire particles, perfect for detecting slow smoldering fires. I also appreciate the electrochemical carbon monoxide sensor that uses an 85-decibel alarm when it senses a hazard. The unit is interconnected, which means all the installed detectors will sound their alarms if one detects a threat. However, I do wish the unit would be a little more user-friendly in terms of the hush feature, as it seems a bit too sensitive. It can be quite tricky to get it to work without accidental activation. Another improvement needed is the battery backup, which, although convenient, can be less reliable over time. Overall, the Kidde Code One hardwired smoke and carbon monoxide detector is a decent safety device for home use. It might require a bit of patience while installing and dealing with the hush feature. But once you get it working, it's a great device to have in your home to protect you from potential fire and carbon monoxide hazards. 🔗Kidde 10-Year Sealed Battery Smoke and CO Detector with Voice Alerthttps://preview.redd.it/djvchamrtp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be76c04430a715074b93cff339e2998c5c3b014c I had high hopes for this Kidde Smoke and Carbon Monoxide Detector when I installed it in my home. The voice warning system was a nice touch, and I appreciated that it had a 10-year battery life. But, it wasn't long before I started experiencing some disappointing issues. Firstly, the device seemed over-sensitive. It would randomly go off in the middle of the night, causing disruptions to our sleep. Even when cooking with the stove or using the fireplace, the alarm would sound without any apparent reason. This unnecessary alarming made me question the product's reliability. On top of that, the battery life didn't seem to last as long as advertised. After a year, I had to replace the batteries, which was quite inconvenient considering the product's claim that the batteries would last 10 years. Despite these drawbacks, the Kidde Smoke and Carbon Monoxide Detector's biggest plus was its simplicity. There were no complex settings to navigate, making it easy to use, especially for people who might not be tech-savvy. In conclusion, while the Kidde Smoke and Carbon Monoxide Detector had its unique advantages, it was let down by its inconsistent performance and battery life. I would recommend looking into other brands that promise better reliability and safety. 🔗Red Dot Vertical Weatherproof Cover for Co Witnesshttps://preview.redd.it/44zv4s5stp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=202777ef12b46b199ad2e00e0ded464251fb825c The Red Dot CKMUV is a versatile, weatherproof cover that's been a lifesaver in my outdoor projects. I've used it to protect receptacles, switches, and plugs in both dry and wet locations, ensuring their safety and longevity. One feature I love about this cover is its deep design that keeps the elements out, even for large extension cords. The installation process was a breeze, and once it's in place, it's secure and stays put. While the cover is a bit taller than other options, it's a small price to pay for the additional protection it offers. However, the one drawback I've noticed is that it seems to be attracting some corrosion over time, which may impact its performance in the long run. But overall, the Red Dot CKMUV has been a reliable and effective solution for my outdoor electrical needs. 🔗Red Dot VXG-11 Co Witness Sight Ceiling Lighthttps://preview.redd.it/s0hvlristp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6708e3dc06e2f7b737482ff4adaf79dfa7f3ed9f Recently, I tried out the Red Dot VXG-11-C ceiling cross feed vapor tight outdoor light fixture, and let me tell you, it was a breeze to install. The outlet box cap and globe make the whole process quite safe and easy. I particularly liked the copper-free aluminum and stainless steel screws, which really upped the corrosion resistance of the product. That's something we can all appreciate, right? One thing I noticed was the high quality replaceable porcelain socket with high temperature leads - it's clear that they've put a lot of thought into durability. It's always a relief when you don't have to worry about replacing parts for a while. However, I did notice a limitation with the globe: it was only suitable for 200-Watt incandescent bulbs and certain compact fluorescent ones. This could potentially limit the flexibility of the fixture. I appreciated the fact that the globe was made of lime crystal glass which is shatterproof. The fixture was UL listed, which added more peace of mind. So, all in all, it was a pleasant experience using this product, but there's always room for improvements. It's all about striking the right balance, isn't it? 🔗Smart Carbon Monoxide and Smoke Detector with Lithium Battery Backuphttps://preview.redd.it/jfoe4vxstp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bda157a1d57d3d383a80a24ed5e5dc63309215b6 I recently encountered the Kidde Smoke & Carbon Monoxide Detector, Hardwired with Lithium Battery Backup, and gave it a try in my home. The first thing that stood out was its reliability. Being hardwired, it's not dependent on batteries that need regular replacement, which is a great feature if you forget to change them. Additionally, the lithium battery backup provides an extra layer of protection during power failures, allowing you to rely on it during emergencies. One of the most impressive functions is the interconnect capability, allowing you to link up to 24 of these alarms together. This creates an extensive network of protection throughout your home, ensuring every room stays safe. However, there were a few downsides I noticed. The first was the sensitivity of the alarm, which could be a bit too reactive for my liking. It went off a few times unexpectedly, causing a bit of anxiety when there was no actual danger. Another issue was the difficulty I experienced with the disable feature. Although it's designed to be user-friendly, I found it a bit confusing and difficult to use. Overall, the Kidde Smoke & Carbon Monoxide Detector is a reliable and robust device that provides peace of mind with its dual-sensor technology and lithium backup. The only downside is that it seems a bit more sensitive than necessary, which could lead to false alarms. 🔗Easy-to-Use Rust-Resistant Home Fire Extinguisherhttps://preview.redd.it/4oqu3kfttp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46618a8a1e54b07c90c30bc640bfd69747a1778f I recently added a Kidde Full Home Fire Extinguisher to my household, and let me tell you, it's been a game-changer. First of all, it's easy to use - even if you've never had to operate a fire extinguisher before. The clear instruction label with graphics is a lifesaver, and the easy-to-read gauge ensures you always know if your fire extinguisher is charged and ready to go. Speaking of the safety pin, it's designed to be easy-to-pull in an emergency, which is exactly what you want when time is of the essence. The rust- and impact-resistant nylon handle is a nice touch too, as it ensures the extinguisher stays in good condition for years to come. The highlight of my experience, though, is the peace of mind I've gained knowing that I have a reliable fire extinguisher on hand. It's always in the back of my mind when I'm cooking or working in the garage, and that sense of security is priceless. All in all, I'd highly recommend this product to anyone looking to protect their home and family. 🔗Stylish Red Polka Dot Leather Wallet from Comme des Garçonshttps://preview.redd.it/4wpe3oqttp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b95acc9d26c7189fd9e71ca357c2d21ef92fc9a1 I recently gave the Comme des Garçons Red Polka Dot calf-leather wallet a whirl in my daily life, and let me tell you; it's a stylish and functional accessory that adds a touch of flair to my outfits. Made with high-quality calf leather, this wallet has a classic look that's perfect for any occasion. The polka dot print adds a playful edge, making it stand out amongst my other wallets. One highlight of this wallet is its all-around zip fastening, which ensures that my essential cards and cash are safely secured without the need for any fuss. The main compartment and card slots are easy to access and use, making it a cinch to organize my belongings. Though I love the design and functionality of this wallet, there's one aspect that could use improvement: the wallet's size. While it's compact enough for everyday use, it might not be the best choice for travelers who need to carry more than just the basics. Overall, I'd recommend this Comme des Garçons wallet to anyone looking for a stylish and functional accessory to add to their outfit. Just be mindful of its size when planning to use it on the go. 🔗10-Year Worry-Free Sealed Battery Combination Smoke and Carbon Monoxide Detector with Voice Alarm (2-Pack)https://preview.redd.it/vu0l5f5utp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fcb62ae75f00cb16be048bc07ac1ae7b93153588 I recently had the opportunity to test out the Kidde 10 Year Worry-Free Sealed Battery Combination Smoke and Carbon Monoxide Detector, and let me tell you, it's quite the experience. While some of the reviews I came across had high praise for the product, I personally didn't have the best luck with it. The first thing that stood out to me was the ease of installation. It's a simple process, and the instructions are clear. But once I had it up and running, I noticed something concerning: it would occasionally false alarm. Now, I'm not talking about a few random beeps here and there. This thing would go off like a fire alarm during a zombie apocalypse. The voice alarm feature was supposed to be a perk, but honestly, it just made it worse. Instead of a calm, clear voice letting me know there was an issue, it sounded like someone hitting a red siren button. It was absolutely terrifying, and not conducive to a good night's sleep. On the positive side, the sealed-in lithium battery did last for the full 10 years as advertised. And the end-of-life warning was a nice touch, letting me know when it was time to replace the unit. However, the cons definitely outweighed the pros here. The false alarms were a huge issue, and the voice alarm feature was more of a hindrance than a help. After experiencing these issues, I had to permanently disable the alarm, which kind of defeats the purpose of having one in the first place. Overall, the Kidde 10 Year Worry-Free Sealed Battery Combination Smoke and Carbon Monoxide Detector didn't live up to my expectations. While it's a handy product to have around the house, I wouldn't recommend it based on my experience. There are other brands out there that might provide a more reliable and less terrifying solution. 🔗Comme des Garçons Polka Dot Print Zip-Around Wallet in Redhttps://preview.redd.it/pin1exlutp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9f562c6c92ab556d91e3a39d5fbeb668207994bd As a fan of unique and functional wallets, I was excited to try out this red polka dot-print zip-around wallet from COMME DES GARÇONS. Walking around town with this wallet drew a lot of attention from fashion enthusiasts, and I could immediately tell it's made from high-quality red and white leather. One of the features that stood out to me was the partitioned compartment. It made organizing my bills and cards a breeze, eliminating the mess that usually comes with carrying around a wallet filled with miscellaneous items. The coin pocket was also a great addition, ensuring I didn't lose track of my loose change. However, the zip-around closure did require a bit more effort to open and close, which wasn't the smoothest experience. Additionally, the debossed internal logo could have been a bit more subtle. Nonetheless, these minor shortcomings didn't detract from the overall style and functionality of this wallet. In conclusion, this COMME DES GARÇONS wallet is a standout choice for anyone looking for a unique, high-quality accessory that carries both style and practicality. 🔗Premium Polka Dot Treat Bags for Gifting and Partieshttps://preview.redd.it/i785gd0vtp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=63d8f40a69c5df133b13eab339a9e8262a602e89 Last week, I was on the hunt for unique and vibrant treat bags for a friend's birthday party. I came across these polka dot cellophane bags and let me tell you, they truly stood out! The bright pink color added excitement and festivity to the festivities. The plastic material was a great choice, as it was sturdy enough to hold a variety of treats and the bags had a classic design that made them perfect for gifting. Not only did they hold up well, but they also had the perfect size for small treats and candies. I appreciated that they could be used for various occasions, not just birthday parties. They were also reasonably priced, which made them an even better find. Overall, I'm really happy with my purchase. The bags were easy to use, and their durability made them a convenient solution for party favors. The only downside I noticed was that the twist ties for sealing the bags were a bit short, but this didn't significantly impact my experience. 🔗Red Polka Dot Balloons for Birthdays & Celebrationshttps://preview.redd.it/bfeem6evtp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17d5076d25bdb9b130de0a0161e8cebb4e5703db Recently, I had the chance to use these Ruby Red Dots 12" Latex Balloons for a birthday party, and let me tell you, they were a hit! The vibrant red color and polka dot pattern really added a festive touch to the decorations. These balloons are great for any occasion, from patriotic parties to Valentine's Day celebrations. One of the things that stood out to me was how sturdy they were. Even though a few of the kids played a little too rough with them, none of them popped. I was also impressed by their size, which made them perfect for decorating tables or hanging from the ceiling. On the downside, I did notice that some of the balloons had a strange smell when they were first inflated. It wasn't overpowering, but it was definitely there. However, after a few days, the smell seemed to dissipate. Overall, these balloons are a fun and affordable addition to any party. They're durable, easy to inflate, and add a touch of whimsy to any celebration. Just remember to keep an eye out for that peculiar odor when you first blow them up! Buyer's GuideA co-witness red dot sight is a versatile and practical accessory for your firearm. It allows you to use both traditional iron sights and the red dot for increased accuracy and speed during target acquisition. As you explore the market for co-witness red dot sights, there are several key factors to consider to ensure you find the best fit for your needs. https://preview.redd.it/5h5sccqvtp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f20e7ee4f17b86c330e001993683390708fd9dac Important Features
ConsiderationsWhen purchasing a co-witness red dot sight, consider the purpose for which you will use it. If you will primarily shoot close-range targets, a smaller sight may suffice. However, if you need to engage targets at greater distances, choose a sight with a larger objective lens for improved clarity and low-light performance.Additionally, think about the durability and weight of the sight. Lighter materials, such as aluminum, can reduce overall weight without sacrificing durability. If you plan to use the sight frequently, durability becomes an essential consideration. https://preview.redd.it/jd9lok3wtp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f2f538d6d66d8c86dd9ee5fd4fa8eadc555c82c AdviceBefore making a purchase, ensure you are familiar with proper installation and adjustment procedures for co-witness red dot sights. This knowledge will help you avoid issues and ensure your sight is functioning correctly.Finally, practice using the sight in different lighting conditions and scenarios to familiarize yourself with the various settings and features. This hands-on experience will help you maximize the potential of your new co-witness red dot sight and improve your overall shooting performance. A co-witness red dot sight is a valuable addition to any firearm setup, providing increased accuracy and speed during target acquisition. By researching the important features, considering various factors, and following the advice outlined in this guide, you can find the perfect co-witness red dot sight for your needs and enjoy improved shooting performance. FAQhttps://preview.redd.it/0wm1lkmwtp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bf4b9effb169a1dc7a48365fa4a416bb20e1eb40 What is a co-witness red dot sight?A co-witness red dot sight is an optical sighting device designed to work with a rifle's iron sights. It allows the user to use both the iron sights and the red dot sight simultaneously, providing maximum versatility in various shooting situations.What are the benefits of using a co-witness red dot sight?The benefits of using a co-witness red dot sight include faster target acquisition, enhanced accuracy at close to medium ranges, improved sight picture, and compatibility with iron sights for backup. It is particularly useful in low light conditions and dynamic shooting scenarios. https://preview.redd.it/239zuexwtp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=885ad5f211d4e434801c53a390c676a46b5dd54f What types of co-witness red dot sights are available?There are several types of co-witness red dot sights, including reflex sights, holographic sights, and laser sights. Reflex sights are the most common, offering a simple, affordable solution. Holographic sights provide a more advanced, sophisticated experience, while laser sights offer a high level of precision and versatility.What factors should I consider when choosing a co-witness red dot sight?
How do I properly mount a co-witness red dot sight on my rifle?Properly mounting a co-witness red dot sight requires a sturdy, zero-resetable base that attaches directly to your rifle's Picatinny or Weaver rail system. Follow the manufacturer's instructions and ensure proper installation and alignment for accurate sighting.What accessories can I use with a co-witness red dot sight?You can use various accessories with a co-witness red dot sight, including lens protectors, magnifiers, and different mounting systems. These accessories can enhance the functionality and performance of your red dot sight, making it better suited for a variety of shooting situations.As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.05.21 07:13 Leagueboosting Elo Dragon 🐉 GM + Challenger PROFESSIONAL Coaches 🎉 SEASON 14, Split 2!!!! 🎉
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Here at Elo Dragon customer service and quality are our top priority! Our owners and admins will do whatever we can for the customer and we try to have someone on 24/7 for any questions/concerns you may have :)
We offer coaching from the owners of Elo Dragon and 30+ of our professional coaches who can help you get better and want to see you step up your game! We ask a few questions to see what Coach we think would fit best with what you want to achieve and your budget. Sometimes we pick out a few coaches and then conduct short screenings to see which coach you think would be best for you! (Can also be requested) (Our pricing varies on which coach you end up with, ranging from $12 - $60 a session).
We also offer hand leveled League accounts/hand leveling services and premium ranked accounts from Iron IV - Challenger depending on our stock. Lastly, we offer Solo and Duo boosts on All Servers at all ranks and on larger servers (EUW/NA) we guarantee to start a solo boost within 2 hours of ordering, but usually will be picked up and started within 30 minutes!
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We are now accepting applicants for new boosters/coaches on NA, OCE, EUW. Please add Cheesy#8014 + JacobDRice#0001 for more information.
submitted by Leagueboosting to LeagueCoachingGrounds [link] [comments]
Here at Elo Dragon customer service and quality are our top priority! Our owners and admins will do whatever we can for the customer and we try to have someone on 24/7 for any questions/concerns you may have :)
We offer coaching from the owners of Elo Dragon and 30+ of our professional coaches who can help you get better and want to see you step up your game! We ask a few questions to see what Coach we think would fit best with what you want to achieve and your budget. Sometimes we pick out a few coaches and then conduct short screenings to see which coach you think would be best for you! (Can also be requested) (Our pricing varies on which coach you end up with, ranging from $12 - $60 a session).
We also offer hand leveled League accounts/hand leveling services and premium ranked accounts from Iron IV - Challenger depending on our stock. Lastly, we offer Solo and Duo boosts on All Servers at all ranks and on larger servers (EUW/NA) we guarantee to start a solo boost within 2 hours of ordering, but usually will be picked up and started within 30 minutes!
We are Open to any boosting inquiries including specific Roles and Champions and we offer the option to have FREE VPN and OFFLINE mode with every Solo Boost!
Join our discord group or add us on discord for inquiries Cheesy#8014 + JacobDRice#0001
Newest Vouch Post: https://www.reddit.com/Lolboosting/comments/115u5m2/vouch_elo_dragon_vouch_post/
New Vouch Post: https://www.reddit.com/Lolboosting/comments/uz9sul/elo_dragon_vouch_thread/
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Oldest Vouch Post: https://www.reddit.com/Lolboosting/comments/lptcov/elo_dragon_boosting_vouch_post/
Very Old Vouch Post: www.reddit.com/Lolboosting/comments/i9ezh1/elo_dragon_boosting_vouch_post/
We are now accepting applicants for new boosters/coaches on NA, OCE, EUW. Please add Cheesy#8014 + JacobDRice#0001 for more information.
2024.05.21 07:13 Leagueboosting [SELLING] Elo Dragon 🐉 CHEAP PRICING WITH QUALITY BOOSTERS 🎉 ALL Servers, ALL Ranks 🎉
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Elo Dragon is a very reliable and honest boosting service with over 100+ Vouches and 4000 orders in a year and a half of being started. Here at Elo Dragon customer service and quality are our top priority! Our owners and admins will do whatever we can for the customer and we try to have someone on 24/7 for any questions/concerns you may have :)
We offer Solo and Duo boosts on All Servers at all ranks and on larger servers (EUW/NA) we guarantee to start a solo boost within 2 hours of ordering, but usually will be picked up and started within 30 minutes! We also offer hand leveled League accounts/hand leveling services and premium ranked accounts from Iron IV - Challenger depending on our stock. Lastly, we offer coaching from 30+ of our boosters who can help you get better and want to see you step up your game!
We are Open to any boosting inquiries including specific Roles and Champions and we offer the option to have FREE VPN and OFFLINE mode with every Solo Boost!
Join our discord group or add us on discord for inquiries Cheesy#8014 + JacobDRice#0001
Discord Group: https://discord.gg/FmHSrWU
Newest Vouch Post: https://www.reddit.com/Lolboosting/comments/11b4bxs/vouch_thread_for_uleagueboosting/
New Vouch Post: https://www.reddit.com/Lolboosting/comments/uz9sul/elo_dragon_vouch_thread/
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Very Old Vouch Post: www.reddit.com/Lolboosting/comments/i9ezh1/elo_dragon_boosting_vouch_post/
We are now accepting applicants for new boosters on NA, OCE, EUW. Please add Cheesy#8014 + JacobDRice#0001 for more information.
submitted by Leagueboosting to Lolboosting [link] [comments]
Elo Dragon is a very reliable and honest boosting service with over 100+ Vouches and 4000 orders in a year and a half of being started. Here at Elo Dragon customer service and quality are our top priority! Our owners and admins will do whatever we can for the customer and we try to have someone on 24/7 for any questions/concerns you may have :)
We offer Solo and Duo boosts on All Servers at all ranks and on larger servers (EUW/NA) we guarantee to start a solo boost within 2 hours of ordering, but usually will be picked up and started within 30 minutes! We also offer hand leveled League accounts/hand leveling services and premium ranked accounts from Iron IV - Challenger depending on our stock. Lastly, we offer coaching from 30+ of our boosters who can help you get better and want to see you step up your game!
We are Open to any boosting inquiries including specific Roles and Champions and we offer the option to have FREE VPN and OFFLINE mode with every Solo Boost!
Join our discord group or add us on discord for inquiries Cheesy#8014 + JacobDRice#0001
Discord Group: https://discord.gg/FmHSrWU
Newest Vouch Post: https://www.reddit.com/Lolboosting/comments/11b4bxs/vouch_thread_for_uleagueboosting/
New Vouch Post: https://www.reddit.com/Lolboosting/comments/uz9sul/elo_dragon_vouch_thread/
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We are now accepting applicants for new boosters on NA, OCE, EUW. Please add Cheesy#8014 + JacobDRice#0001 for more information.
2024.05.21 06:58 No_Marzipan_1230 Industrial Mage Chapter 03 – Hiring & Deadwoods
Synopsis:
An engineer in another world—blending science and magic to achieve greatness in a world where skills and levels reign supreme.
—
Ethan was just a plain old engineer, but everything changed when he was reborn into a world of skills, levels, and magic. With his advanced knowledge far ahead of the time period he finds himself in, this new reincarnated life will be much different than his last, especially because he can construct, deconstruct, and reconstruct runes—something no one else can do.
But with royal politics, looming tax collectors, a mountain of debt, dungeon incursions, cults, and hostile fantasy races mixing together into a cocktail of bullshit that threatens to bury his dreams; Ethan must bridge the gap between steel and sorcery to grow stronger. — Runecrafting is slow burn. — What to Expect: - Weak to very strong progression - Hardcore wish fulfillment - A balance of action, kingdom building, and runecrafting. - MC will trigger an industrial revolution, revolutionize magic, modernize agriculture, communication, commerce, textile production, education, transportation, sanitation, weapons manufacturing, leisure & entertainment, and medicine.
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"Business opportunity?" Jack blinked, amused. "Intriguing. One doesn't often hear a noble propose such a thing to a [Necromancer]."
Roland shifted uncomfortably.
Ignoring him, Ethan leaned back in his chair.
"Let's just say these are unorthodox times, Jack. And frankly, the problems plaguing Holden call for equally unorthodox solutions." He gestured towards a nearby chair. "Do have a seat, and allow me to elaborate. It concerns a matter of public health, and specifically, a rather lackluster product currently on the market. One common folk cannot even afford."
Jack raised an eyebrow, taking the offered seat. "Public health and [Necromancy]? This does get more interesting by the moment, my lord."
Ethan leaned forward again.
"I'll be blunt. It's the Blight, Jack. You're undoubtedly familiar with its unpleasant effects." He wrinkled his nose slightly. "The lethargy, the nausea…and the frankly horrendous stench that clings to the afflicted."
"The Blight has stages, my lord. But yeah, I get the gist. Though, I confess, raising the recently departed isn't exactly..."
Ethan chuckled. "Not quite, my friend. While your talents with the departed are impressive, I have a different skillset in mind. One that involves cleanliness."
Jack's smile vanished, replaced by a wary arch of an eyebrow. "Cleanliness? You want a [Necromancer] for scrubbing floors?"
Ethan leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers. "Not scrubbing floors, precisely. What do you know about the Blight, Jack?"
"It's more than a mere sickness, my lord. It's a clinging parasite that latches onto the unfortunate soul and slowly devours their life force. The early signs are subtle—a sickly sweet odor, lethargy, pale clammy skin."
Jack shuddered dramatically, and continued. "Then comes the hunger. An insatiable craving that gnaws at their insides. The victims start developing a craving for raw flesh instead. Their mere touch becomes corrupting, causing plants to wilt and wounds to fester. Disembodied whispers of the spirits torment them, sapping their willpower—they're like a sweet escape from their suffering. It chips away at their will to fight, turning them inward until they become shells of their former selves."
Ethan blinked. Jack had a knack for theatrics and being dramatic, it seemed.
"In the final stages, the body decays into a walking corpse driven by an unquenchable hunger to consume the life force of others."
"Okay, stop," Ethan raised his hand with a sigh. "Who does the Blight infect?"
Jack took a deep breath. "That's the interesting part, my Lord. The Blight only seems to affect those with little to no mana. It's like mana acts as a shield. Majority of peasants are mana-less. It's a common disease, my lord. Even nobles suffer from the Blight; mostly children given that their mana is still developing."
"So, mana is our solution?" Ethan raised an eyebrow. "Why do you think no one's arrived at this conclusion given that the Blight is such a common occurrence you'd think there'd be a cure?"
"There is a cure, my lord. But—"
"It's way too expensive."
"Indeed, that is correct, my lord."
"Regardless, our solution here is sanitation. You see, the Blight thrives in filth. The stench, the lethargy, it all stems from a miasma that festers in unsanitary conditions. It eats on people's lifeforce. And the current concoction on the market does little to combat it. There's a simple solution—people are aware of it—but sadly, it's expensive, not as effective as it should be, and frankly, an insult to hygiene."
"Oh, are you talking about soap, my lord?"
"Soap," Ethan confirmed. "More specifically, newly made soap. As soap's made with magic here, it has slight mana in it—although it's a different matter altogether that said mana dissipates. Regardless, if bought new and used, it helps with the Blight. However, we need better soap. The current offerings are woefully inadequate, and at exorbitant prices. I envision a mass-produced, affordable soap that can combat the Blight's effects, doesn't lose mana, and can invigorate people."
Jack considered this for a moment. "And why, my lord, would a noble like yourself be concerned with such mundane matters?"
"Jack," Ethan's eyes narrowed slightly, his tone turning icy. "I believe you forget yourself. It is not your place to question nobility. I suggest you remember your place and focus on the task at hand."
Jack's face turned ashen. He quickly lowered his eyes. "I apologize, my lord."
"You are forgiven." Ethan didn't particularly enjoy being a noble, but now that he was one, he needed to maintain certain boundaries.
Though Ethan had been slightly taken aback, Jack was right. Nobles seldom cared about peasants. Even less when it came to the Blight. Any and all solutions currently available for this very normal cause of death were expensive. Current brick they sold as 'soap' was inadequate, had pathetic fragrance, and performed even less when it came to hygiene. So, most peasants die due to lack of money. They couldn't buy soap, and the concoction for the Blight was too expensive.
But I don't really think like the nobles, as I am not one.
Silence stretched between the two for several long moments, and in that silence, Ethan considered the consequences.
The consequences of Ethan's plan would be far-reaching. There definitely would be a political firestorm. Soapmakers, likely well-established guilds with ties to influential nobles, would see their profits plummet and their influence challenged. They'd spread rumors about Ethan's soap being inferior or even dangerous, and might even resort to sabotage, threats, blackmail, or the like. Ethan might also face resistance from other barons who profit from the inflated price of Blight remedies.
I need to be prepared for whatever they throw at me, 'cause they definitely will.
Beyond the immediate political struggle, there could be social unrest. Slower, more expensive production methods often employ a larger workforce given that [Mages] weren't always available to make soap. There had to be a manual process discovered by the [Mages] of this world—though having tried the soap himself, it was quite lacking.
Ethan's plans for mass-produced soap could lead to unemployment among those currently making soap. He'd need to be prepared to address these concerns, perhaps by retraining displaced workers or offering them jobs in the new production facilities. Though, then again, the guilds he'd poach the unemployed people from wouldn't take it lightly.
Regardless, I need to do it. Fuck the guilds. I don't think Theo's dad will let anything happen to him—aka me now.
Theo's family was rather big. His father, Lord Alexander Lockheart, was arguably ruthless and cold, but he usually held his family's interest in his mind—knowing him and his militaristic nature, Ethan didn't doubt he'd latch onto the opportunities to make some hefty sum of money—money which he could use to fund his militaristic endeavors. The man was ambitious.
*Theo's the 4***th child of the Lockhearts. Even aside from Theo's dad, he's got five siblings: three older and two younger siblings. Two of whom, I can easily rely on. The eldest sibling, Maximillian, or Juliana, who is the second eldest. Benson's the third child, and he doesn't like me much, so Maximillian and Juliana are my only hope—though they're kind of disappointed in how Theo behaved, they wouldn't let something happened to me*, especially knowing that I, "Theodore Lockheart", am turning over a new leaf. Not to mention Theo's mom's too soft.*
Knowing his safety wouldn't be an issue, Ethan looked at Jack. He had only spoken like Theo to make sure he could set a proper boundary with Jack. Deciding that the awkward silence had gone for far too long, he spoke with a lighter tone.
"Though, if you must know, the Blight doesn't discriminate. It cripples the poor, yes, but it also weakens soldiers and undermines trade. A healthy populace is a productive populace, one that can pay taxes and contribute to the well-being of the entire barony. Besides," he added, a sly smile returning, "imagine the profit. Affordable, effective soap for all? It would be a goldmine. I'm especially looking forward to the reaction of noblewomen. They'll be in a frenzy. They'll be begging for this soap. We'll be swimming in coin."
Which I need given the looming tax and Holden's fucked up financial situation...
Unaware of what was going through Ethan's mind, Jack tapped his chin thoughtfully. "And, with all due respect, my lord, why do you need my help? What possible use could a [Necromancer] have in the realm of soap-making?"
Ethan leaned back, a smile playing on his lips. "While your skills in manipulating life force are undoubtedly impressive, Jack, it's your less publicized talent I'm particularly interested in."
Jack's eyes narrowed for a moment. "You mean...?"
"Imbuement." Ethan said.
Ethan wasn't too sure, but given that [Necromancers] and [Witches] were infamous classes, he'd heard rumors. They often imbued objects. Corpses in [Necromancers'] case and certain objects in [Witches'] case. It wasn't mana that they imbued exactly, but something else—which he had no clue about—that let them have control over the corpse/object they imbued. But, given that these two classes were the most affordable ones that could imbue anything at all and were experts in that regard, Ethan was pretty sure Jack could achieve his goal.
That was his theory, of course. It all depended on how long they could hold the mana inside the soap. Making the soap affordable and high quality—that he could handle. Keeping the mana within it, though, and getting some decent returns? Well, that depended a lot on Jack.
Jack ran a nervous hand through his scraggly brown hair, his eyes glinting.
"What if we could imbue the soap with mana?" Ethan said. "It would disrupt the Blight's ability to feed on life force. Think of it as a sort of 'static' that interferes with the Blight's 'signal'. So, we imbue mana into soap."
Jack frowned, considering this. "That's an interesting idea, my lord. But how would we create such a thing? Soap is expensive to make; you would have to employ mages—"
"Leave the soap to me. Deal with imbuing mana instead. As a [Necromancer], you have a unique understanding of life force and how it can be manipulated. I believe that with your help, we can develop a method to imbue soap with mana that stays in for as long as possible—you are the expert in imbuement, after all. The soap would then not only clean the body, but also create a sort of protective barrier against the Blight." He leaned back in his chair, watching Jack's reaction closely. "So, what do you think? Are you up for it?"
-2-
Ethan hummed as the carriage came to a stop near the house where those infected by the Blight were being kept under quarantine, in the company of Roland. The house wasn't luxurious by any means, it was quite small really. But it had been secured to allow them to observe the tainted. Ethan exited the carriage along Roland and Jack, and soon they were greeted by a tall, slender man in robes.
"Ah, Lord Theodore. It is my utmost pleasure to meet your esteemed self." the robed man bowed. His voice was even, but there was a wariness there—clearly, the man was not comfortable dealing with Ethan, or more like, Theodore who was infamous for his... nature.
Ethan wasn't happy with how the people of Holden and everyone acquainted with Theo regarded him, a reputation that likely spread more than just this town, but he couldn't do anything about it. Logically, he'd just need to deal with it one step at a time.
"No need to be so tense... Sir Miller." Ethan briefly checked his memory to bring up the information of the man.
Miller was the head physician of Holden.
"Esteemed guest," The man was still bowing, clearly uncomfortable and unable to bring himself to stand straight before a notorious lord such as Theodore. "Do not concern yourself with trivial manners and come in. The tainted have been secured, and preparations made, so please, this way."
The man led Ethan inside and after crossing through an empty room, they reached a space sectioned off by iron grills. A group of men armed with spears surrounded the door from the outside—they were armed with spears so they could deal with anyone that reached the third stage and became a brain-dead zombie without getting near them. The tall and burly men eyed Roland and Ethan, on alert at a noble's presence.
Ethan covered his face in a mask, stepped over the grills, into the open hall with rows of beds lining both sides, where about ten people lay, most on their back. If they noticed their Lord, the people lying on the bed didn't act like they noticed anything. "Please, Lord Theodore...!" Miller said. "You mustn't get near!"
"Nothing to worry, I won't be tainted," Ethan said. He was a [Mage] after all, and unranked one, but a mage nonetheless. He looked at the patients one by one.
They do look sickly... it is one thing hearing about it, but this is far more eye opening... Sighing, Ethan turned around and walked out.
"Jack, do your thing."
"Yes, my lord." Jack said as Ethan made it to Roland.
"Roland, we need to go to the Deadwoods, you and I."
Roland appeared apprehensive but did not question Ethan's intentions.
As Ethan and Roland walked out, Jack got started on the subjects. Ethan looked ahead. Grassy meadows stretched far and wide, dotted by occasional trees and bushes. The sun's golden rays washed over the land, leaving an orange tinge on the distant mountains. To the west of Holden lay the Deadwoods—easily spotted, as it stood as an ominous expanse of darkness in the otherwise brightly lit region. A mountain range stretched behind the Deadwoods and clung to the earth, meeting the borders of Corinth.
Ethan had to admit, the place was a sight to see despite how much the Deadwoods stood out like a sore thumb amidst all this greenery. Even then, the Deadwoods held a unique allure. Ethan got into the carriage with Roland in tow, then with a light jolt the carriage started moving. It was being pulled by two horses.
"With all due respect, my Lord, this seems unwise, no?"
"It'll be fine," Ethan reassured. "We have guards with us, and I have you to protect me."
"Why, is it not better to simply let us know what you require so we may fetch it in your stead?"
Ethan smiled, but didn't answer.
The Deadwoods soon came closer as the carriage sped up, drawing near to a stretch of meadows with trees scattered every few paces or so.
The carriage rattled as it went over a particularly large bump. Ethan gave a quick glance at Roland—the man had grown quieter since their departure. Clearly, he was contemplating what sorts of heinous plans his new lord had in store.
Suddenly, the carriage lurched to a halt. Ethan poked his head out of the window and called, "What's the hold-up?"
The driver gave an apologetic bow. "There's a large rock in the road, my lord."
"Then have the guards get rid of it." Ethan's voice carried a subtle note of annoyance. He really didn't have time for delays—as a rule of thumb, he usually hated them.
"My lord," Roland said. "It's a trap. We're under attack."
An arrow slammed right beside Ethan's head the next instant.
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An engineer in another world—blending science and magic to achieve greatness in a world where skills and levels reign supreme.
—
Ethan was just a plain old engineer, but everything changed when he was reborn into a world of skills, levels, and magic. With his advanced knowledge far ahead of the time period he finds himself in, this new reincarnated life will be much different than his last, especially because he can construct, deconstruct, and reconstruct runes—something no one else can do.
But with royal politics, looming tax collectors, a mountain of debt, dungeon incursions, cults, and hostile fantasy races mixing together into a cocktail of bullshit that threatens to bury his dreams; Ethan must bridge the gap between steel and sorcery to grow stronger. — Runecrafting is slow burn. — What to Expect: - Weak to very strong progression - Hardcore wish fulfillment - A balance of action, kingdom building, and runecrafting. - MC will trigger an industrial revolution, revolutionize magic, modernize agriculture, communication, commerce, textile production, education, transportation, sanitation, weapons manufacturing, leisure & entertainment, and medicine.
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Chapter 03
-1-"Business opportunity?" Jack blinked, amused. "Intriguing. One doesn't often hear a noble propose such a thing to a [Necromancer]."
Roland shifted uncomfortably.
Ignoring him, Ethan leaned back in his chair.
"Let's just say these are unorthodox times, Jack. And frankly, the problems plaguing Holden call for equally unorthodox solutions." He gestured towards a nearby chair. "Do have a seat, and allow me to elaborate. It concerns a matter of public health, and specifically, a rather lackluster product currently on the market. One common folk cannot even afford."
Jack raised an eyebrow, taking the offered seat. "Public health and [Necromancy]? This does get more interesting by the moment, my lord."
Ethan leaned forward again.
"I'll be blunt. It's the Blight, Jack. You're undoubtedly familiar with its unpleasant effects." He wrinkled his nose slightly. "The lethargy, the nausea…and the frankly horrendous stench that clings to the afflicted."
"The Blight has stages, my lord. But yeah, I get the gist. Though, I confess, raising the recently departed isn't exactly..."
Ethan chuckled. "Not quite, my friend. While your talents with the departed are impressive, I have a different skillset in mind. One that involves cleanliness."
Jack's smile vanished, replaced by a wary arch of an eyebrow. "Cleanliness? You want a [Necromancer] for scrubbing floors?"
Ethan leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers. "Not scrubbing floors, precisely. What do you know about the Blight, Jack?"
"It's more than a mere sickness, my lord. It's a clinging parasite that latches onto the unfortunate soul and slowly devours their life force. The early signs are subtle—a sickly sweet odor, lethargy, pale clammy skin."
Jack shuddered dramatically, and continued. "Then comes the hunger. An insatiable craving that gnaws at their insides. The victims start developing a craving for raw flesh instead. Their mere touch becomes corrupting, causing plants to wilt and wounds to fester. Disembodied whispers of the spirits torment them, sapping their willpower—they're like a sweet escape from their suffering. It chips away at their will to fight, turning them inward until they become shells of their former selves."
Ethan blinked. Jack had a knack for theatrics and being dramatic, it seemed.
"In the final stages, the body decays into a walking corpse driven by an unquenchable hunger to consume the life force of others."
"Okay, stop," Ethan raised his hand with a sigh. "Who does the Blight infect?"
Jack took a deep breath. "That's the interesting part, my Lord. The Blight only seems to affect those with little to no mana. It's like mana acts as a shield. Majority of peasants are mana-less. It's a common disease, my lord. Even nobles suffer from the Blight; mostly children given that their mana is still developing."
"So, mana is our solution?" Ethan raised an eyebrow. "Why do you think no one's arrived at this conclusion given that the Blight is such a common occurrence you'd think there'd be a cure?"
"There is a cure, my lord. But—"
"It's way too expensive."
"Indeed, that is correct, my lord."
"Regardless, our solution here is sanitation. You see, the Blight thrives in filth. The stench, the lethargy, it all stems from a miasma that festers in unsanitary conditions. It eats on people's lifeforce. And the current concoction on the market does little to combat it. There's a simple solution—people are aware of it—but sadly, it's expensive, not as effective as it should be, and frankly, an insult to hygiene."
"Oh, are you talking about soap, my lord?"
"Soap," Ethan confirmed. "More specifically, newly made soap. As soap's made with magic here, it has slight mana in it—although it's a different matter altogether that said mana dissipates. Regardless, if bought new and used, it helps with the Blight. However, we need better soap. The current offerings are woefully inadequate, and at exorbitant prices. I envision a mass-produced, affordable soap that can combat the Blight's effects, doesn't lose mana, and can invigorate people."
Jack considered this for a moment. "And why, my lord, would a noble like yourself be concerned with such mundane matters?"
"Jack," Ethan's eyes narrowed slightly, his tone turning icy. "I believe you forget yourself. It is not your place to question nobility. I suggest you remember your place and focus on the task at hand."
Jack's face turned ashen. He quickly lowered his eyes. "I apologize, my lord."
"You are forgiven." Ethan didn't particularly enjoy being a noble, but now that he was one, he needed to maintain certain boundaries.
Though Ethan had been slightly taken aback, Jack was right. Nobles seldom cared about peasants. Even less when it came to the Blight. Any and all solutions currently available for this very normal cause of death were expensive. Current brick they sold as 'soap' was inadequate, had pathetic fragrance, and performed even less when it came to hygiene. So, most peasants die due to lack of money. They couldn't buy soap, and the concoction for the Blight was too expensive.
But I don't really think like the nobles, as I am not one.
Silence stretched between the two for several long moments, and in that silence, Ethan considered the consequences.
The consequences of Ethan's plan would be far-reaching. There definitely would be a political firestorm. Soapmakers, likely well-established guilds with ties to influential nobles, would see their profits plummet and their influence challenged. They'd spread rumors about Ethan's soap being inferior or even dangerous, and might even resort to sabotage, threats, blackmail, or the like. Ethan might also face resistance from other barons who profit from the inflated price of Blight remedies.
I need to be prepared for whatever they throw at me, 'cause they definitely will.
Beyond the immediate political struggle, there could be social unrest. Slower, more expensive production methods often employ a larger workforce given that [Mages] weren't always available to make soap. There had to be a manual process discovered by the [Mages] of this world—though having tried the soap himself, it was quite lacking.
Ethan's plans for mass-produced soap could lead to unemployment among those currently making soap. He'd need to be prepared to address these concerns, perhaps by retraining displaced workers or offering them jobs in the new production facilities. Though, then again, the guilds he'd poach the unemployed people from wouldn't take it lightly.
Regardless, I need to do it. Fuck the guilds. I don't think Theo's dad will let anything happen to him—aka me now.
Theo's family was rather big. His father, Lord Alexander Lockheart, was arguably ruthless and cold, but he usually held his family's interest in his mind—knowing him and his militaristic nature, Ethan didn't doubt he'd latch onto the opportunities to make some hefty sum of money—money which he could use to fund his militaristic endeavors. The man was ambitious.
*Theo's the 4***th child of the Lockhearts. Even aside from Theo's dad, he's got five siblings: three older and two younger siblings. Two of whom, I can easily rely on. The eldest sibling, Maximillian, or Juliana, who is the second eldest. Benson's the third child, and he doesn't like me much, so Maximillian and Juliana are my only hope—though they're kind of disappointed in how Theo behaved, they wouldn't let something happened to me*, especially knowing that I, "Theodore Lockheart", am turning over a new leaf. Not to mention Theo's mom's too soft.*
Knowing his safety wouldn't be an issue, Ethan looked at Jack. He had only spoken like Theo to make sure he could set a proper boundary with Jack. Deciding that the awkward silence had gone for far too long, he spoke with a lighter tone.
"Though, if you must know, the Blight doesn't discriminate. It cripples the poor, yes, but it also weakens soldiers and undermines trade. A healthy populace is a productive populace, one that can pay taxes and contribute to the well-being of the entire barony. Besides," he added, a sly smile returning, "imagine the profit. Affordable, effective soap for all? It would be a goldmine. I'm especially looking forward to the reaction of noblewomen. They'll be in a frenzy. They'll be begging for this soap. We'll be swimming in coin."
Which I need given the looming tax and Holden's fucked up financial situation...
Unaware of what was going through Ethan's mind, Jack tapped his chin thoughtfully. "And, with all due respect, my lord, why do you need my help? What possible use could a [Necromancer] have in the realm of soap-making?"
Ethan leaned back, a smile playing on his lips. "While your skills in manipulating life force are undoubtedly impressive, Jack, it's your less publicized talent I'm particularly interested in."
Jack's eyes narrowed for a moment. "You mean...?"
"Imbuement." Ethan said.
Ethan wasn't too sure, but given that [Necromancers] and [Witches] were infamous classes, he'd heard rumors. They often imbued objects. Corpses in [Necromancers'] case and certain objects in [Witches'] case. It wasn't mana that they imbued exactly, but something else—which he had no clue about—that let them have control over the corpse/object they imbued. But, given that these two classes were the most affordable ones that could imbue anything at all and were experts in that regard, Ethan was pretty sure Jack could achieve his goal.
That was his theory, of course. It all depended on how long they could hold the mana inside the soap. Making the soap affordable and high quality—that he could handle. Keeping the mana within it, though, and getting some decent returns? Well, that depended a lot on Jack.
Jack ran a nervous hand through his scraggly brown hair, his eyes glinting.
"What if we could imbue the soap with mana?" Ethan said. "It would disrupt the Blight's ability to feed on life force. Think of it as a sort of 'static' that interferes with the Blight's 'signal'. So, we imbue mana into soap."
Jack frowned, considering this. "That's an interesting idea, my lord. But how would we create such a thing? Soap is expensive to make; you would have to employ mages—"
"Leave the soap to me. Deal with imbuing mana instead. As a [Necromancer], you have a unique understanding of life force and how it can be manipulated. I believe that with your help, we can develop a method to imbue soap with mana that stays in for as long as possible—you are the expert in imbuement, after all. The soap would then not only clean the body, but also create a sort of protective barrier against the Blight." He leaned back in his chair, watching Jack's reaction closely. "So, what do you think? Are you up for it?"
-2-
Ethan hummed as the carriage came to a stop near the house where those infected by the Blight were being kept under quarantine, in the company of Roland. The house wasn't luxurious by any means, it was quite small really. But it had been secured to allow them to observe the tainted. Ethan exited the carriage along Roland and Jack, and soon they were greeted by a tall, slender man in robes.
"Ah, Lord Theodore. It is my utmost pleasure to meet your esteemed self." the robed man bowed. His voice was even, but there was a wariness there—clearly, the man was not comfortable dealing with Ethan, or more like, Theodore who was infamous for his... nature.
Ethan wasn't happy with how the people of Holden and everyone acquainted with Theo regarded him, a reputation that likely spread more than just this town, but he couldn't do anything about it. Logically, he'd just need to deal with it one step at a time.
"No need to be so tense... Sir Miller." Ethan briefly checked his memory to bring up the information of the man.
Miller was the head physician of Holden.
"Esteemed guest," The man was still bowing, clearly uncomfortable and unable to bring himself to stand straight before a notorious lord such as Theodore. "Do not concern yourself with trivial manners and come in. The tainted have been secured, and preparations made, so please, this way."
The man led Ethan inside and after crossing through an empty room, they reached a space sectioned off by iron grills. A group of men armed with spears surrounded the door from the outside—they were armed with spears so they could deal with anyone that reached the third stage and became a brain-dead zombie without getting near them. The tall and burly men eyed Roland and Ethan, on alert at a noble's presence.
Ethan covered his face in a mask, stepped over the grills, into the open hall with rows of beds lining both sides, where about ten people lay, most on their back. If they noticed their Lord, the people lying on the bed didn't act like they noticed anything. "Please, Lord Theodore...!" Miller said. "You mustn't get near!"
"Nothing to worry, I won't be tainted," Ethan said. He was a [Mage] after all, and unranked one, but a mage nonetheless. He looked at the patients one by one.
They do look sickly... it is one thing hearing about it, but this is far more eye opening... Sighing, Ethan turned around and walked out.
"Jack, do your thing."
"Yes, my lord." Jack said as Ethan made it to Roland.
"Roland, we need to go to the Deadwoods, you and I."
Roland appeared apprehensive but did not question Ethan's intentions.
As Ethan and Roland walked out, Jack got started on the subjects. Ethan looked ahead. Grassy meadows stretched far and wide, dotted by occasional trees and bushes. The sun's golden rays washed over the land, leaving an orange tinge on the distant mountains. To the west of Holden lay the Deadwoods—easily spotted, as it stood as an ominous expanse of darkness in the otherwise brightly lit region. A mountain range stretched behind the Deadwoods and clung to the earth, meeting the borders of Corinth.
Ethan had to admit, the place was a sight to see despite how much the Deadwoods stood out like a sore thumb amidst all this greenery. Even then, the Deadwoods held a unique allure. Ethan got into the carriage with Roland in tow, then with a light jolt the carriage started moving. It was being pulled by two horses.
"With all due respect, my Lord, this seems unwise, no?"
"It'll be fine," Ethan reassured. "We have guards with us, and I have you to protect me."
"Why, is it not better to simply let us know what you require so we may fetch it in your stead?"
Ethan smiled, but didn't answer.
The Deadwoods soon came closer as the carriage sped up, drawing near to a stretch of meadows with trees scattered every few paces or so.
The carriage rattled as it went over a particularly large bump. Ethan gave a quick glance at Roland—the man had grown quieter since their departure. Clearly, he was contemplating what sorts of heinous plans his new lord had in store.
Suddenly, the carriage lurched to a halt. Ethan poked his head out of the window and called, "What's the hold-up?"
The driver gave an apologetic bow. "There's a large rock in the road, my lord."
"Then have the guards get rid of it." Ethan's voice carried a subtle note of annoyance. He really didn't have time for delays—as a rule of thumb, he usually hated them.
"My lord," Roland said. "It's a trap. We're under attack."
An arrow slammed right beside Ethan's head the next instant.
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2024.05.21 06:36 Count-Daring243 Best Clipboards with Storage
 | submitted by Count-Daring243 to u/Count-Daring243 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/n73xilc9kp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8037253645a3b7ee43cab94da768e39a22fd6004 Are you tired of the cluttered mess on your desk? If so, you've come to the right place! In this article, we're taking a close look at some of the best clipboards with storage - a versatile product that not only keeps your papers organized, but also offers a convenient place to stash small items like pens and calculators. Whether you're a student, office worker, or just someone who loves a clean workspace, these clipboards are perfect for keeping your essentials within reach while keeping your desk clutter-free. So, what are you waiting for? Dive in and explore the world of clipboards with storage! The Top 17 Best Clipboards with Storage
Reviews🔗Durable Clipboard with Storage, Pen Holder, and Weightless Carryhttps://preview.redd.it/3rzj2nv9kp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e66d13a919aece46c00d4f23f7b9c48f2fc602c0 As a freelance writer, I often find myself moving from one coffee shop to another, sketchpad in hand. A solid clipboard is essential for any mobile artist like me, and I recently stumbled upon Sooez's Clipboard with Storage. The ergonomic side-opening hinge and sturdy metal clip make it easy to securely hold my sketches without any warping. Plus, the spacious storage compartment keeps my pencils and sketchpens in one place - no more digging through my bag for the perfect shade of graphite! The highlight of this clipboard is its durability. Made from high-quality polypropylene, it wipes clean easily, preventing any spread of bacteria, which is crucial in today's world. Its sleek design also enables me to use it as a makeshift lap desk when I need to sketch on-the-go. 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Its stylish design, coupled with its excellent organization capabilities, makes it a worthy addition to any home. 🔗Secure Locking Storage Black Clipboardhttps://preview.redd.it/pxh0m0xakp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=569176b09e1abc0c7cd01ffc8863282586337f08 I recently started using the Vaultz Locking Storage Clipboard in my daily life, and I have to say, it has made a significant difference in the way I organize and protect my documents. The high tension clip on the front ensures that my papers remain secure at all times, while the combination lock provides key-less convenience for added security. I particularly love the roomy internal storage compartment, which comfortably holds all my important documents within. The shoulder strap included with the clipboard has been a game-changer for me, allowing me to carry it around effortlessly throughout the day. Additionally, the key-hole on the back serves as a convenient wall mount for when I need to store it away. 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The slim design makes it easy to store in a briefcase or backpack, and it doesn't scratch desks, tables, or car hoods like other aluminum cases. The SlimCase 2 Storage Clipboard is perfect for teachers, coaches, nurses, tradespeople, and anyone else who needs a reliable and efficient way to store their important paperwork. Whether you're using it at school or on the job, this clipboard is sure to make your life easier. And the best part? It's made in the USA, ensuring high quality and craftsmanship. In terms of drawbacks, the SlimCase 2 Storage Clipboard doesn't have a double compartment for more storage. However, for most people, the single compartment should be sufficient for their needs. Overall, this clipboard has been an incredible addition to my daily life, and I would highly recommend it to anyone in search of a reliable and efficient organizational tool. 🔗Locking Storage Clipboard for Paperwork on the Gohttps://preview.redd.it/5ovkw0tbkp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=577839e15686cd7f76b7fd8969aadc3e01c6cfd4 I recently got my hands on the Vaultz Locking Storage Clipboard and I must say, it has become an essential part of my daily life. As someone who's always on the go, I often found myself struggling to keep all my important documents and tools organized. But with this clipboard, everything has a place now. The first thing that caught my eye was its sleek design. The slim profile and sturdy construction make it not only stylish but also incredibly durable. And did I mention how lightweight it is? Despite its robust build, it's surprisingly light, making it comfortable to carry around all day. One of the features that stand out the most for me is the interior mesh pockets. They're perfect for storing items like my phone, business cards, and even some loose papers. I also like the document belt inside, which ensures that my paperwork stays securely in place while I'm using the clipboard. The only downside I experienced so far is the somewhat slick surface of the clipboard. It can be a bit challenging to write on, especially when you need to create pressure copies from standard forms. However, this issue can easily be resolved by placing a piece of cardboard beneath the paper you're writing on. Another highlight worth mentioning is the built-in keyhole grommet on the back. It allows me to hang the clipboard on a wall or door, freeing up valuable desk space. Plus, the sturdy keylock keeps all my contents safe and secure whenever I need to step away. Overall, I am extremely satisfied with the Vaultz Locking Storage Clipboard. Its combination of practicality, durability, and style makes it stand out from other clipboards on the market. If you're someone who values organization and efficiency, I would highly recommend giving this product a try. 🔗Dual Tray Clipboard Box with Pen Holderhttps://preview.redd.it/y686gg6ckp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=59a7cbdf59e39c9de8d655b5a790cafae671e842 I've been using the Posse Box Pb-37C bottom opening clipboard box in my daily work routine as a law enforcement officer, and I must say, this nifty little contraption has really made a difference in keeping me organized. The dual compartments are a game-changer; one side for completed forms and papers, the other for storing extra citations and sheets. It also has an internal tray where I can securely keep pens, pencils, and other small items. Its non-skid base ensures that it stays put even on slick surfaces. One of the best parts about this clipboard box? Its size. At 14" long and 9" wide, it fits perfectly on my desk and doesn't take up too much space. Plus, with a weight capacity of 1.5 pounds, it can handle just about anything I throw at it. However, there's one minor downside that I've noticed while using this product. The latch could be slightly more durable. It tends to wear out over time, especially if you’re frequently opening and closing the box. But overall, for a tool designed specifically for law enforcement, the Posse Box Pb-37C is hard to beat when it comes to organization and convenience. 🔗Three-Tier Aluminum Clipboard with Paper Storagehttps://preview.redd.it/hb4lmomckp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3fb08369b4efefeb982e3f1b16b4b1b243a4aea6 I recently got my hands on this stylish aluminum clipboard with a three-tier storage system, and I must say, it has been a game-changer for my on-the-go lifestyle. The first thing that struck me was its lightweight and sturdy design, which instantly made me feel confident about taking it to my outdoors meetings without worrying about any potential damage. One of the highlights of this clipboard is its interior storage compartments. I can now efficiently organize all my important documents in one place, which has significantly improved my productivity since I don't have to spend time searching for them. Plus, the self-closing latch ensures that my papers stay in place whether I'm walking or sitting. However, I did face a minor issue with the aluminum surface. It tends to get a little cold during winters, making it a bit uncomfortable to write on for extended periods. But hey, it's still worth it considering all the benefits it offers. Overall, this metal clipboard with a three-tier storage system has made my life easier and more organized. If you're someone who needs a reliable and efficient way to manage your paperwork, I highly recommend giving this one a shot. 🔗Aluminum Storage Clipboard - Classic Stylehttps://preview.redd.it/k7jsjajdkp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e39ca862ba420cea6a4eb42305c27ec51fc43125 Effortless Organization with The Clipboard Shop Aluminum Memo Storage Clipboard" I can't express how satisfying it was to discover The Clipboard Shop's Aluminum Memo Storage Clipboard in black. The sleek aluminum design elevates the simple clipboard to a stylish office accessory. I appreciate how lightweight it is, making it easy to carry around and clip in essential papers on the go, be it for work or personal use. The standout feature for me, however, has to be the spacious interior storage compartment. It's a game-changer for my constant juggling of important yet small papers. Now, instead of having them scatter around, they're safely tucked away in this compact but efficient clipboard. Plus, it holds full-sized papers, a significant pro compared to other clipboards I've used in the past! There's really only one disadvantage I've noticed so far, and that's the somewhat flimsy build. While it's more durable than traditional paper clipboards, it's not as robust as it could be. This is a small con, however, given how much I absolutely love everything else about this clipboard. The Clipboard Shop's Aluminum Memo Storage Clipboard has truly improved the way I organize and handle documents. Its combination of lightweight design and spacious storage compartment make it the perfect companion for anyone who frequently handles paperwork, be it at work or home. 🔗Daisy Floral Green Clipboard Folio with Linen Notepad and Storage Pockethttps://preview.redd.it/cks1ylbekp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8bc4e34be6391575ece0301d083921145438f521 I've been using this cute clipboard folio for a few weeks now, and I absolutely love it. The Daisy Floral Green design is a refreshing change from the usual black or brown office supplies, and it feels equally at home in my creative studio as it does in the corporate office. The sturdy hardcover offers ample protection for all my papers and notes, while the removable lined notepad is perfect for organizing my thoughts on the go. The interior pocket and pen loop are particularly handy for stashing important documents and keeping my pen within easy reach. Plus, the elastic band cover ensures everything stays securely in place, even when I'm on the move. One downside to this folio is that it can be quite bulky, especially when filled with documents. However, the ample storage space more than makes up for its size. Overall, I'm extremely satisfied with this clipboard folio and would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a stylish and functional addition to their office supplies. 🔗Durable A5 Recycled Aluminum Clipboard with Privacy Cover and Storagehttps://preview.redd.it/3canwhgekp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa73e5bd2b68bbcca58cf0423c74f87e0bb4ca1a As someone who always needs a reliable clipboard on the go, I've been using the Sunnyclip Aluminum Clipboard with Storage for a few weeks now. With its sleek and sturdy design, it has quickly become a trusty companion for all my note-taking adventures. The size is perfect, fitting my memo-size paper sheets flawlessly, yet it's just not compatible with letter or A4 size paper, which may be a slight drawback. What sets this clipboard apart from the rest is its durable, recycled aluminum construction. It's lightweight and easy to carry around, making it suitable for long days on the road or office. The added privacy cover is a thoughtful feature, keeping my important documents safe and confidential. Plus, the high-quality clip ensures that my papers stay in place, not even a gust of wind can make them fly away. However, one thing I didn't quite enjoy was the lack of storage capacity. Though the built-in storage top opening provides a little space, I think it could benefit from a slightly larger slot to accommodate more papers or even small office supplies. Overall, the Sunnyclip Aluminum Clipboard with Storage has quickly become a valued tool in my daily routine. Its lightweight and sturdy design, combined with the added privacy cover, makes it perfect for capturing notes on the go. While its storage capacity could be improved, it's a worthwhile investment for anyone in need of a reliable clipboard. 🔗Bottom Open Clipboard Box with Dual Tray Conveniencehttps://preview.redd.it/907l03yekp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1664ceb18e7d8793457e287964cf8108dd7a7a2 As a daily user of the Posse Box, one thing that stands out to me is its dual-tray convenience. I love how it provides two separate compartments to keep my important papers and forms well-organized. Plus, the non-skid base ensures that they stay in place even during those hectic days. The size of 9" x 14" 1.5" is just right for my needs, fitting all my frequently accessed forms comfortably. And the sleek black vinyl gives it a professional look. However, one thing that could be improved about this product is the quality of the material. It's not as sturdy as I would have liked, which can make it feel a bit flimsy at times. This issue isn't major but it's definitely worth mentioning. Overall though, the Posse Box has been a reliable companion on my daily law enforcement duties, helping me stay organized and efficient. I would recommend it to anyone looking for a sleek and efficient way to keep their important papers and forms organized. 🔗Portable Office Clipboard Storage Case in Charcoalhttps://preview.redd.it/cprxe5kfkp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a750a058262a43c43c80ab74470c1b7de2c4dbc As someone who loves staying organized, I can't exaggerate how this charcoal clipboard case from Office Depot has quickly become my go-to tool for work and school. It's not just about keeping my papers and forms intact, but also about having all my essentials like pens, business cards, and post-it notes right at my fingertips. One of the features that truly impressed me was its three external filing compartments. Not only do they keep my pens and pencils sorted, but they also hold paper clips and other small office items, making them incredibly efficient and space-saving. Plus, the magnetic compartment? Absolutely brilliant! No more rattling of loose clips while I'm on the move—they stay securely in place. The built-in filing pockets are equally impressive, providing a perfect place for CDs, more papers, or even a phone. To be honest, at first, I didn't think I would need the separate compartment for paper clips, considering how most of my stuff ended up in the external compartments. After using it though, I've come to appreciate how handy it is to have an item so small and commonplace readily accessible. Another highlight is the ergonomic hand grips. They make holding the case very comfortable, especially during longer work sessions or meetings. Additionally, the hang hole is a thoughtful touch that allows me to store it easily when not in use. While I love how sturdy and durable this case is—truly, it's been through a lot due to my clumsy nature and heavy use—there's one drawback I have to mention. If you're planning on using folders with this case, unfortunately, they won't fit. It's a minor inconvenience, but it doesn't detract from how useful and reliable this product continues to be. All in all, this is hands down the best clipboard case I've used in a long time. Whether it's at work or school, this little wonder keeps all my documents organized and accessible, making it a valuable addition to anyone's productivity toolkit. 🔗Premium Pink Nursing Clipboard with Storage Compartmenthttps://preview.redd.it/6ar7lq1gkp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=929913468dadc9c0cc0d1bbad48d0949a6a7a29e I can vividly remember the day I first laid my hands on this amazing nursing clipboard with storage. The moment I received it, I was immediately struck by the premium material it was made of. The break-resistant plastic ensured that it would last through even the most rigorous usage. The smooth writing surface is another standout feature of this clipboard. As an active nurse, standing and writing patient notes can often be taxing. But with this clipboard, it's like writing on a cloud - smooth and effortless. And did I mention how lightweight it is? It was a lifesaver in my long days filled with back-to-back patients. Now, let's talk about the built-in storage. This clipboard comes equipped with a compartment that can neatly hold all of my nursing school supplies - my penlight, highlighter, scissors, pens and pencils. It's like having a little personal assistant right at my fingertips! The best part is how easy it is to use. Just unclip the bottom to reveal a spacious storage compartment that can hold documents, more writing utensils, and even a small snack to keep me going during those late nights. One of the highlights of this clipboard is its classic design. It's perfect not only for nurses, but also for teachers, parents, sales and office professionals. It's a versatile tool that keeps my essentials within easy reach. Surprisingly, despite its compact size, it's a great gift idea. I've gifted it to several of my nurse friends and they've all loved it. There's something really satisfying about presenting people with a tool that makes their lives easier. However, it's worth mentioning that this clipboard doesn't come with any accessories. You'll need to purchase them separately. But then again, that's a small inconvenience for a tool that has made my nursing life so much easier. In conclusion, if you're a nurse, teacher, or just someone looking for a practical tool to keep your essentials close, this nursing clipboard with storage is a game changer. Buyer's GuideClipboards have been a staple in offices and schools for decades, providing a convenient and portable way to hold documents. Clipboards with built-in storage offer an added layer of convenience, allowing you to carry not only your documents but also pens, paper clips, or other small office supplies.Important Featureshttps://preview.redd.it/lpjnqylhkp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=815be758395c4f07193ffe7aa8988b149733feed
Considerations
General AdviceWhen selecting a clipboard with storage, it's essential to consider your specific needs and preferences. Take the time to compare different models and brands, reading customer reviews and checking product specifications for additional insights. By focusing on the features, considerations, and general advice provided in this guide, you can make an informed decision and find the perfect clipboard with storage to suit your requirements. https://preview.redd.it/dkbpmpzhkp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3a72c6e2d5c7016e2ce64296cb69d6761193b61e FAQWhat are clipboards with storage?Clipboards with storage are organizational tools designed to hold papers and other important documents securely while also offering added compartments or pouches for storing pens, sticky notes, or other office supplies. They are great for both professional and personal use, providing a convenient way to keep essential items organized and easily accessible.How do clipboards with storage compare to standard clipboards?https://preview.redd.it/tay3q7hikp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eef0f4ff06ee8ce28eb94d09a28b739296d1936d Clipboards with storage offer added functionality compared to standard clipboards by including compartments or pouches that can hold office supplies such as pens, sticky notes, and more. This added convenience makes them ideal for people who like to keep their essential items organized while on-the-go or in various environments like the office, home, or school. Which materials are commonly used for clipboards with storage?Clipboards with storage are commonly made from materials like plastic, metal, or wood, with each offering its own unique benefits such as durability, lightweight design, or a sleek appearance. The choice of material is often dependent on the user's preferences and specific requirements for the product.How can I maintain the clipboard's storage compartments?To maintain the clipboard's storage compartments, simply keep them clean by wiping with a damp cloth occasionally. Avoid overloading the compartments with heavy items or sharp objects that may damage the material or compromise the storage capacity. https://preview.redd.it/sjl6z8qikp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4da558a2546db86c6b925e90f7f7ce1d50d05b06 Are there different styles of clipboards with storage available?Yes, there are various styles of clipboards with storage to suit different needs and preferences. Some designs may feature built-in organizers, clear pockets for added visibility, or even customizable options that allow you to add your own personal touch. Be sure to browse through various options and choose one that best aligns with your requirements and aesthetic preferences.How do I safely store my clipboard with storage when not in use?When not in use, safely store your clipboard with storage in a dry and secure location to prevent any damage or loss of stored items. Lay it flat or standing up vertically on a surface, ensuring that the device remains in good condition and is easily accessible when needed for use.What are some useful features to look for when choosing a clipboard with storage?Some useful features to consider when choosing a clipboard with storage include: adjustable or rotating holding mechanisms for multiple paper sizes, built-in organizers for added convenience, compartments or pouches that are easy to access and use, and the overall durability and quality of the material used to construct the product.Do clipboards with storage come in various sizes and shapes?Yes, clipboards with storage come in various sizes and shapes to accommodate different paper sizes and user preferences for compactness or larger compartments. Be sure to compare different options and choose one that best meets your needs and the intended use case for the product.How much weight can a clipboard with storage typically hold?The weight capacity of a clipboard with storage depends on the design and materials used for its construction. Typically, they can hold around 10-20 pages securely without causing damage to the product. However, always refer to individual product specifications for accurate weight limits and ensure not to exceed those guidelines to prolong the life of your clipboard.As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.05.21 06:31 No_Marzipan_1230 Death is a social construct - Industrial Mage: Modernizing a Magical World [Kingdom Building LitRPG]
Synopsis:
An engineer in another world—blending science and magic to achieve greatness in a world where skills and levels reign supreme.
—
Ethan was just a plain old engineer, but everything changed when he was reborn into a world of skills, levels, and magic. With his advanced knowledge far ahead of the time period he finds himself in, this new reincarnated life will be much different than his last, especially because he can construct, deconstruct, and reconstruct runes—something no one else can do.
But with royal politics, looming tax collectors, a mountain of debt, dungeon incursions, cults, and hostile fantasy races mixing together into a cocktail of bullshit that threatens to bury his dreams; Ethan must bridge the gap between steel and sorcery to grow stronger. — Runecrafting is slow burn. — What to Expect: - Weak to very strong progression - Hardcore wish fulfillment - A balance of action, kingdom building, and runecrafting. - MC will trigger an industrial revolution, revolutionize magic, modernize agriculture, communication, commerce, textile production, education, transportation, sanitation, weapons manufacturing, leisure & entertainment, and medicine.
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Ethan’s fists pounded the punching bag, sending a rapid series of jabs that landed with resounding thumps, each strike punctuated by ragged breaths. Sweat dripped from his brow, stinging his eyes, but he refused to stop, refused to surrender to the burning in his muscles or the rawness of his knuckles. He remained focused on punching.
Around him, the rest of the boxing team rested, even the coach looked like he needed a breather. But Ethan couldn’t afford to slow down—not with the first round of eliminations looming.
More, Ethan thought, his muscles burning as he threw another combination of jabs and cross punches. More, more, more.
Boxing had never been his choice; it was a path forced upon him by a father with unfulfilled dreams. Yet somewhere along the way, the thrill of the fight had ignited a fire within Ethan—a primal need to test the boundaries of his endurance, to feel alive in a way no textbook could provide.
But now his father lay dying in a hospital bed, and Ethan was exhausted. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. His muscles burned and his knuckles were raw. But he couldn’t stop.
“Oy, mate, you should take a break.”
Jacob’s voice cut through Ethan’s reverie, and he turned to face his friend, chest heaving. “I can keep going. I’m fine.”
Jacob shook his head, concern etched across his features. “You’re going to end up hurting yourself. Listen, I know you’re worried about the eliminations and your dad, but you’ve got this. You’ll be fine. You’ve trained so hard. Harder than any of us, mate.” Jacob placed a hand on Ethan’s shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up.”
“It’s not enough,” Ethan stepped away from the punching bag. “Not yet.”
“What do you mean? You’ve improved a ton since you first started, and you’ve gotten to this level faster than anyone else. There’s no way you’re getting cut from the team.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Nothing,” Ethan said, sighing as he ran a hand through his sweat-soaked hair.
“Listen, man,” Jacob said, giving him a sympathetic smile. “I get that you’re nervous. It’s normal, okay? But I’ve seen you out there. You’re good. Really good. If anything, the rest of us are the ones who should be worried—”
Before Jacob could continue, Ethan’s phone rang, the sound loud in the otherwise silent gym.
Looking at his phone made him frown and excuse himself. The caller ID was a familiar one. With his phone pressed against his ears, he walked down the corridor, leaving the other members of the boxing team behind.
“Hello?” Ethan said into the phone.
Then, his world tilted on his axis.
-2-
Ethan hated funerals.
It was a strange thing to say, and yet, there he was, thinking that exact same thing as he stood at the side, watching as a small crowd gathered around. The smell of freshly turned earth was thick in the air, along with a heavy dose of sorrow and grief. Or maybe that was his imagination; after all, most were likely putting on a show. A wake that lasted all of ten minutes. A quick eulogy. The final plop of dirt onto the polished wood coffin. Then they were gone. Just like that, they were gone.
His father’s funeral was over just like that.
Ethan waited a while longer after all the mourners had dispersed, then finally turned to look at his mother. His mother sat slumped in the front pew of the church; her gaze fixed on the ground. He sat beside his mother silently. She looked older today, like all the fight and life had just seeped from her body. They didn’t speak a word for the longest while, but finally, his mother broke the silence.
“Do you blame me?”
“No,” he said automatically.
You do, a small voice said in the back of his head. Because maybe, if they hadn’t sent him away, he could’ve pursued his dreams...
“Thank you,” his mother said, the relief in her eyes far too apparent. She wrapped her arms around herself. Her hands trembled. She swallowed audibly before she continued. “I was such a stupid little girl when we married. I had no choice but to leave for Dubai because...”
“You don’t need to explain anything.” Ethan looked down at his knuckles. “I understand.”
“He always blamed himself,” she said suddenly, and Ethan frowned. “For not just letting you into civil engineering. For pressuring you into, well, violence.”
Ethan smiled wryly, staring up at the empty rafters overhead.
Such violence, Ethan, a voice whispered into his ears. Focus on your studies, not on hurting people. You’ll have a bright future, I’m sure of it.
Ethan sighed as he felt the memory rise unbidden in his mind. It wasn’t the first time his mother had spoken to him like that, and it wouldn’t be the last.
You can’t always rely on your fists, she would say. Sometimes, words are all you need. They can change lives, even save lives. They can be the difference between a happy life and a miserable one. Remember that.
Yeah, well, she failed to see it wasn’t hurting people he was after, but pushing himself beyond his limits. To prove to himself that he could. To feel the limits of his body, and surpass them.
To feel alive.
“Your father wanted the best for you,” she said.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Ethan gave his mother a sad smile. He talked with his mother a little bit after, but eventually, he excused himself.
She hugged him before he left. A tight, almost desperate squeeze that seemed to drag out for longer than it really did. Ethan wasn’t entirely sure how to respond and wasn’t able to think of anything better than giving her a couple of awkward pats on the back.
Then, when somewhere nice, he lit a cigarette. Stupid, useless, and unhealthy, but he had to do something to let off steam or his entire body was going to burst apart like a firecracker.
When it was nearly time for the cigarette to burn itself out, he suddenly got engulfed in bright light. He didn’t think, nor could he; it was just way too fast.
The last thought he had was something along the lines of ‘the fuck?’ before he crashed face-first into space-time itself.
-3-
Ethan slammed his head against the plush velvet pillow, groaning. Post-reincarnation—transmigration?—headaches were a real pain, especially when you woke up in the body of a drunken wastrel named Theodore Lockheart, the most indebted, despised, fucked up noble in the entire bordertowns—lands that were on the border of the world of the living; lands that were under the constant threat of the dead.
He was tired, irritable, and he had a headache so annoying it was almost as if his skull was split open. Not to mention, his nose was throbbing in pain from what he could only guess had been a one-sided beatdown.
Had the Baron gotten beaten to a pulp somehow?
It was possible, after all, Ethan did remember snippets of Theodore’s recent memories—nothing more than that, though. Theodore tended to suit up as a rich merchant. And he’d likely gone to the bar after losing his fortune earlier in the night, and then had likely fucked a wench or two, vented on the poor women, gotten punched and kicked out.
Groaning, Ethan peeled himself out of bed and forced himself to move. He had things he wanted to do today, like sit somewhere nice and contemplate the meaning of existence—or smoke cigarettes. But sadly, he had none, and he despised alcohol.
Strange, Theodore—no, Ethan, thought. Why do I so easily believe in all this? And why am I so easily accepting that I’m this bastard now?
Though the question was there, Ethan found that it didn’t bring up any emotions. It was like an empty sentence in his thoughts, with nothing behind it.
Ding! System Initiating…
Consciousness transferred...
Subject: Ethan
Social integration protocols activated.
Linguistic database uploaded. Communication in all known languages will be facilitated.
Confirmation: Subject has all their memories upon induction. Check.
Disclaimer: This is not a dream simulation. This is a permanent transfer. Subject has been induced to fully believe this reality, but nothing else inside the subject has been altered.
Confirmation: Memories and core identity remain unaltered.
Warning: The subject will perceive everything as real.
Directive: Enjoy the New World. Second chance protocols initiated.
The System has awoken within you. [Nur] is a world unimaginable power awaits. You, Ethan, have the chance to become extraordinary.
A [Quest] approaches!
Congratulations! You have unlocked the skill: [Magic Sensitivity]!
Congratulations! You have unlocked the skill: [Magic Perception]!
Congratulations! You have unlocked the skill: [Myriad Tongue]!
Ding! Please brace for loss of consciousness!
“What in the god-fucking-damned hell—?” Ethan muttered, then fell unconscious. When Ethan woke up again, a screen flashed in front of him.
Please select your preferred Class...
The screen, Ethan found, didn’t elicit any reaction out of him. It wasn’t shocking, nor unbelievable, it was just as if it was a universal truth he’d come to believe since childhood. Like a phone’s existence, or the internet, perhaps. The fact that he thought that way made him sigh. He just hoped anything else inside him hadn’t been changed.
Ethan looked through the page that appeared in front of him.
[Warrior (Common)]
Function: Frontline combatant
Prerequisite: None
Description: A Common-Ranked Class. Grants basic proficiency with all melee weapon types (sword, spear, ax, etc.)
Specialization Paths: Available after further training and/or meeting certain requirements: [Barbarian], [Knight], [Paladin], [Cavalryman], [Mercenary] (and more)
[Archer (Common)]
Function: Ranged Damage Dealer
Prerequisite: None
Description: Basic proficiency with bows and arrows.
Specialization Paths:
Adjacent: Unlockable after further training: [Thief], [Assassin] (and more)
Advanced: Upon reaching specific requirements: [Spirit Archer], [Magic Archer] (and more)
[Mage (Common)]
Function: Ranged Magic User
Prerequisite: None
Description: Basic application of magical abilities.
Specialization Paths: Unlockable after further study: [Warlock], [Alchemist], [Summoner] (and more)
[Healer (Common)]
Function: Support - Restoration and Enhancement
Prerequisite: A [Faith].
Description: Devoted healer, blessed with divine magic, requires [Faith] in a deity. A healer’s heart heals the spirit of ailing beings, providing great spiritual buffs. Can heal wounds and ailments of allies. Can enhance allied attributes and resistances.
Specialization Paths: Unlockable after advanced training (may vary by race or deity): [Temple Priest], [Battle Medic], [Nature Mender] (and more)
After looking through the available Classes, it didn’t take long for Ethan to immediately dismiss both the [Healer] and [Warrior]. [Healer] would be too weak unless he got to its Specialization Paths—not to mention he’d need to have faith in some god, which he did not—and [Warrior] meant he’d need to be close range all the time. Ethan didn’t like risk, thus that idea went to waste as fast as a blade through butter. That left him with two options, and a more or less clear idea of which choice to make.
[Archer] was dismissed for the sole reason that it didn’t appeal to him much, although he was indeed curious as to why it had [Thief] and [Assassin] as its Adjacent Specialization Paths. Regardless, there was only one choice left: Mage—something he’d have chosen anyway given that the system had given him [Magic Sensitivity] and [Magic Perception], although he’d yet to test those skills out. They seemed passive anyway.
Ethan selected his chosen Class.
Congratulations! You are now an [Unranked Mage].
You are capable of casting minor, beginner-level magics.
You can use magical implements and perform incantations with limited versatility.
Congratulations! You have gained skill: [Basic Magic Script]!
Congratulations! You have gained skill: [Elemental Spells]!
Due to your [Magic Perception] and [Magic Sensitivity], the effectiveness of magical spells and skills are now increased by 10%!
“That’s it?” Ethan blinked. “I would’ve expected, I don’t know, for my entire body to feel on fire, or something.”
Not that he ever had that happen in his life. Fiction really put false expectations into his mind.
Theodore Lockheart
[Race: Human]⨽[Rank: G]⨽[Level: 0]
[Class: Mage]⨽[Rank: Unranked]⨽[Level: 0]
[Skills]: Basic Magic Script (Lvl. 1), Elemental Spells (Lvl. 1), Magic Sensitivity (Lvl. 1), Magic Perception (Lvl. 1), Myriad Tongue (Lvl. 1)
[Titles: None]
Ethan sifted through the skills to better understand what he could do now.
Basic Magic Script – Level 1
Type: Passive
Effect: This skill allows you to understand and write basic magical notation of the world. Connection Effect: [Basic Magic Script] has established a Connection with one of your existing skills [Magic Perception], essentially giving you the ability to not only comprehend simple spells but also create the runes required to cast them. However, complex and advanced theories will likely be beyond your grasp at this level.
Elemental Spells – Level 1
Type: Active
Effect: You can cast basic elemental spells. At this level, your spells are limited in power and complexity.
Magic Sensitivity – Level 1
Type: Passive
Effect: You possess a heightened awareness of magical energies in your immediate surroundings. You can feel faint tingles or experience subtle temperature changes when magic is being used nearby. This ability helps you identify areas with magical activity or sense the presence of magic. However, pinpointing the exact source or nature of the magic might be difficult at this level.
Magic Perception – Level 1
Type: Passive
Effect: You can see the underlying runes whenever a spell is cast in front of you. However, deciphering complex spells to view their runes will likely be blurry or misleading at this level***. Connection Effect:*** [Magic Perception] has established a Connection with one of your existing skills, [Basic Magic Script], essentially giving you the ability to not only comprehend simple spells but also create the runes required to cast them. However, complex and advanced theories will likely be beyond your grasp at this level.
Myriad Tongue – Level 1
Type: Passive
Effect: You can understand and speak all the languages of this world. This skill allows you to communicate with most of the species you encounter. Complex conversations will likely require further development of this skill. Connection Effect: [Myriad Tongue] has established a Connection with [Basic Magic Script], essentially giving you an inherent understanding of the runic language of magic.
Holy... So, this world’s really like a game, huh? There are no stats, though. Why? Ethan rubbed his chin. The skills were nice. Ethan was excited to test his skills out when someone knocked once on the door and entered. “My lord,” said the man Ethan quickly recognized as one of his advisors, Cedric, “I’ve received notice that the duke’s men have begun their journey from the Capital.” He bowed. “They’re coming to collect tax.”
Saying so, Cedric left Ethan to ponder.
Tax? What?
In this world of swords and spells, tax consisted of the rarest of monster parts and materials. Priceless Relics were found in the Deadlands just out the border—lands that were full of dangers of the highest caliber, along with endless rewards. And because these materials and items were all of a higher value, not paying tax could easily put a small town like this into debt, unless the town managed to somehow attract a wealthy and profitable industry or find themselves a noble willing to spend his coin to help their people.
Such a noble couldn’t be Theo, clearly. After all, he was just a run-of-the-mill spoiled brat from a prominent aristocratic family—the typical wastrel born lucky into money and power without ever needing to work a single day in his entire life.
Regardless, the tax was Ethan’s issue now, and he wasn’t ready to deal with it given that Theo already had quite a debt in the first place.
Ethan’s eyes deadened.
Next >
Patreon Discord
submitted by No_Marzipan_1230 to HFY [link] [comments]
An engineer in another world—blending science and magic to achieve greatness in a world where skills and levels reign supreme.
—
Ethan was just a plain old engineer, but everything changed when he was reborn into a world of skills, levels, and magic. With his advanced knowledge far ahead of the time period he finds himself in, this new reincarnated life will be much different than his last, especially because he can construct, deconstruct, and reconstruct runes—something no one else can do.
But with royal politics, looming tax collectors, a mountain of debt, dungeon incursions, cults, and hostile fantasy races mixing together into a cocktail of bullshit that threatens to bury his dreams; Ethan must bridge the gap between steel and sorcery to grow stronger. — Runecrafting is slow burn. — What to Expect: - Weak to very strong progression - Hardcore wish fulfillment - A balance of action, kingdom building, and runecrafting. - MC will trigger an industrial revolution, revolutionize magic, modernize agriculture, communication, commerce, textile production, education, transportation, sanitation, weapons manufacturing, leisure & entertainment, and medicine.
Next >
Chapter 01
-1-Ethan’s fists pounded the punching bag, sending a rapid series of jabs that landed with resounding thumps, each strike punctuated by ragged breaths. Sweat dripped from his brow, stinging his eyes, but he refused to stop, refused to surrender to the burning in his muscles or the rawness of his knuckles. He remained focused on punching.
Around him, the rest of the boxing team rested, even the coach looked like he needed a breather. But Ethan couldn’t afford to slow down—not with the first round of eliminations looming.
More, Ethan thought, his muscles burning as he threw another combination of jabs and cross punches. More, more, more.
Boxing had never been his choice; it was a path forced upon him by a father with unfulfilled dreams. Yet somewhere along the way, the thrill of the fight had ignited a fire within Ethan—a primal need to test the boundaries of his endurance, to feel alive in a way no textbook could provide.
But now his father lay dying in a hospital bed, and Ethan was exhausted. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. His muscles burned and his knuckles were raw. But he couldn’t stop.
“Oy, mate, you should take a break.”
Jacob’s voice cut through Ethan’s reverie, and he turned to face his friend, chest heaving. “I can keep going. I’m fine.”
Jacob shook his head, concern etched across his features. “You’re going to end up hurting yourself. Listen, I know you’re worried about the eliminations and your dad, but you’ve got this. You’ll be fine. You’ve trained so hard. Harder than any of us, mate.” Jacob placed a hand on Ethan’s shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up.”
“It’s not enough,” Ethan stepped away from the punching bag. “Not yet.”
“What do you mean? You’ve improved a ton since you first started, and you’ve gotten to this level faster than anyone else. There’s no way you’re getting cut from the team.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Nothing,” Ethan said, sighing as he ran a hand through his sweat-soaked hair.
“Listen, man,” Jacob said, giving him a sympathetic smile. “I get that you’re nervous. It’s normal, okay? But I’ve seen you out there. You’re good. Really good. If anything, the rest of us are the ones who should be worried—”
Before Jacob could continue, Ethan’s phone rang, the sound loud in the otherwise silent gym.
Looking at his phone made him frown and excuse himself. The caller ID was a familiar one. With his phone pressed against his ears, he walked down the corridor, leaving the other members of the boxing team behind.
“Hello?” Ethan said into the phone.
Then, his world tilted on his axis.
-2-
Ethan hated funerals.
It was a strange thing to say, and yet, there he was, thinking that exact same thing as he stood at the side, watching as a small crowd gathered around. The smell of freshly turned earth was thick in the air, along with a heavy dose of sorrow and grief. Or maybe that was his imagination; after all, most were likely putting on a show. A wake that lasted all of ten minutes. A quick eulogy. The final plop of dirt onto the polished wood coffin. Then they were gone. Just like that, they were gone.
His father’s funeral was over just like that.
Ethan waited a while longer after all the mourners had dispersed, then finally turned to look at his mother. His mother sat slumped in the front pew of the church; her gaze fixed on the ground. He sat beside his mother silently. She looked older today, like all the fight and life had just seeped from her body. They didn’t speak a word for the longest while, but finally, his mother broke the silence.
“Do you blame me?”
“No,” he said automatically.
You do, a small voice said in the back of his head. Because maybe, if they hadn’t sent him away, he could’ve pursued his dreams...
“Thank you,” his mother said, the relief in her eyes far too apparent. She wrapped her arms around herself. Her hands trembled. She swallowed audibly before she continued. “I was such a stupid little girl when we married. I had no choice but to leave for Dubai because...”
“You don’t need to explain anything.” Ethan looked down at his knuckles. “I understand.”
“He always blamed himself,” she said suddenly, and Ethan frowned. “For not just letting you into civil engineering. For pressuring you into, well, violence.”
Ethan smiled wryly, staring up at the empty rafters overhead.
Such violence, Ethan, a voice whispered into his ears. Focus on your studies, not on hurting people. You’ll have a bright future, I’m sure of it.
Ethan sighed as he felt the memory rise unbidden in his mind. It wasn’t the first time his mother had spoken to him like that, and it wouldn’t be the last.
You can’t always rely on your fists, she would say. Sometimes, words are all you need. They can change lives, even save lives. They can be the difference between a happy life and a miserable one. Remember that.
Yeah, well, she failed to see it wasn’t hurting people he was after, but pushing himself beyond his limits. To prove to himself that he could. To feel the limits of his body, and surpass them.
To feel alive.
“Your father wanted the best for you,” she said.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Ethan gave his mother a sad smile. He talked with his mother a little bit after, but eventually, he excused himself.
She hugged him before he left. A tight, almost desperate squeeze that seemed to drag out for longer than it really did. Ethan wasn’t entirely sure how to respond and wasn’t able to think of anything better than giving her a couple of awkward pats on the back.
Then, when somewhere nice, he lit a cigarette. Stupid, useless, and unhealthy, but he had to do something to let off steam or his entire body was going to burst apart like a firecracker.
When it was nearly time for the cigarette to burn itself out, he suddenly got engulfed in bright light. He didn’t think, nor could he; it was just way too fast.
The last thought he had was something along the lines of ‘the fuck?’ before he crashed face-first into space-time itself.
-3-
Ethan slammed his head against the plush velvet pillow, groaning. Post-reincarnation—transmigration?—headaches were a real pain, especially when you woke up in the body of a drunken wastrel named Theodore Lockheart, the most indebted, despised, fucked up noble in the entire bordertowns—lands that were on the border of the world of the living; lands that were under the constant threat of the dead.
He was tired, irritable, and he had a headache so annoying it was almost as if his skull was split open. Not to mention, his nose was throbbing in pain from what he could only guess had been a one-sided beatdown.
Had the Baron gotten beaten to a pulp somehow?
It was possible, after all, Ethan did remember snippets of Theodore’s recent memories—nothing more than that, though. Theodore tended to suit up as a rich merchant. And he’d likely gone to the bar after losing his fortune earlier in the night, and then had likely fucked a wench or two, vented on the poor women, gotten punched and kicked out.
Groaning, Ethan peeled himself out of bed and forced himself to move. He had things he wanted to do today, like sit somewhere nice and contemplate the meaning of existence—or smoke cigarettes. But sadly, he had none, and he despised alcohol.
Strange, Theodore—no, Ethan, thought. Why do I so easily believe in all this? And why am I so easily accepting that I’m this bastard now?
Though the question was there, Ethan found that it didn’t bring up any emotions. It was like an empty sentence in his thoughts, with nothing behind it.
Ding! System Initiating…
Consciousness transferred...
Subject: Ethan
Social integration protocols activated.
Linguistic database uploaded. Communication in all known languages will be facilitated.
Confirmation: Subject has all their memories upon induction. Check.
Disclaimer: This is not a dream simulation. This is a permanent transfer. Subject has been induced to fully believe this reality, but nothing else inside the subject has been altered.
Confirmation: Memories and core identity remain unaltered.
Warning: The subject will perceive everything as real.
Directive: Enjoy the New World. Second chance protocols initiated.
The System has awoken within you. [Nur] is a world unimaginable power awaits. You, Ethan, have the chance to become extraordinary.
A [Quest] approaches!
Congratulations! You have unlocked the skill: [Magic Sensitivity]!
Congratulations! You have unlocked the skill: [Magic Perception]!
Congratulations! You have unlocked the skill: [Myriad Tongue]!
Ding! Please brace for loss of consciousness!
“What in the god-fucking-damned hell—?” Ethan muttered, then fell unconscious. When Ethan woke up again, a screen flashed in front of him.
Please select your preferred Class...
The screen, Ethan found, didn’t elicit any reaction out of him. It wasn’t shocking, nor unbelievable, it was just as if it was a universal truth he’d come to believe since childhood. Like a phone’s existence, or the internet, perhaps. The fact that he thought that way made him sigh. He just hoped anything else inside him hadn’t been changed.
Ethan looked through the page that appeared in front of him.
[Warrior (Common)]
Function: Frontline combatant
Prerequisite: None
Description: A Common-Ranked Class. Grants basic proficiency with all melee weapon types (sword, spear, ax, etc.)
Specialization Paths: Available after further training and/or meeting certain requirements: [Barbarian], [Knight], [Paladin], [Cavalryman], [Mercenary] (and more)
[Archer (Common)]
Function: Ranged Damage Dealer
Prerequisite: None
Description: Basic proficiency with bows and arrows.
Specialization Paths:
Adjacent: Unlockable after further training: [Thief], [Assassin] (and more)
Advanced: Upon reaching specific requirements: [Spirit Archer], [Magic Archer] (and more)
[Mage (Common)]
Function: Ranged Magic User
Prerequisite: None
Description: Basic application of magical abilities.
Specialization Paths: Unlockable after further study: [Warlock], [Alchemist], [Summoner] (and more)
[Healer (Common)]
Function: Support - Restoration and Enhancement
Prerequisite: A [Faith].
Description: Devoted healer, blessed with divine magic, requires [Faith] in a deity. A healer’s heart heals the spirit of ailing beings, providing great spiritual buffs. Can heal wounds and ailments of allies. Can enhance allied attributes and resistances.
Specialization Paths: Unlockable after advanced training (may vary by race or deity): [Temple Priest], [Battle Medic], [Nature Mender] (and more)
After looking through the available Classes, it didn’t take long for Ethan to immediately dismiss both the [Healer] and [Warrior]. [Healer] would be too weak unless he got to its Specialization Paths—not to mention he’d need to have faith in some god, which he did not—and [Warrior] meant he’d need to be close range all the time. Ethan didn’t like risk, thus that idea went to waste as fast as a blade through butter. That left him with two options, and a more or less clear idea of which choice to make.
[Archer] was dismissed for the sole reason that it didn’t appeal to him much, although he was indeed curious as to why it had [Thief] and [Assassin] as its Adjacent Specialization Paths. Regardless, there was only one choice left: Mage—something he’d have chosen anyway given that the system had given him [Magic Sensitivity] and [Magic Perception], although he’d yet to test those skills out. They seemed passive anyway.
Ethan selected his chosen Class.
Congratulations! You are now an [Unranked Mage].
You are capable of casting minor, beginner-level magics.
You can use magical implements and perform incantations with limited versatility.
Congratulations! You have gained skill: [Basic Magic Script]!
Congratulations! You have gained skill: [Elemental Spells]!
Due to your [Magic Perception] and [Magic Sensitivity], the effectiveness of magical spells and skills are now increased by 10%!
“That’s it?” Ethan blinked. “I would’ve expected, I don’t know, for my entire body to feel on fire, or something.”
Not that he ever had that happen in his life. Fiction really put false expectations into his mind.
Theodore Lockheart
[Race: Human]⨽[Rank: G]⨽[Level: 0]
[Class: Mage]⨽[Rank: Unranked]⨽[Level: 0]
[Skills]: Basic Magic Script (Lvl. 1), Elemental Spells (Lvl. 1), Magic Sensitivity (Lvl. 1), Magic Perception (Lvl. 1), Myriad Tongue (Lvl. 1)
[Titles: None]
Ethan sifted through the skills to better understand what he could do now.
Basic Magic Script – Level 1
Type: Passive
Effect: This skill allows you to understand and write basic magical notation of the world. Connection Effect: [Basic Magic Script] has established a Connection with one of your existing skills [Magic Perception], essentially giving you the ability to not only comprehend simple spells but also create the runes required to cast them. However, complex and advanced theories will likely be beyond your grasp at this level.
Elemental Spells – Level 1
Type: Active
Effect: You can cast basic elemental spells. At this level, your spells are limited in power and complexity.
Magic Sensitivity – Level 1
Type: Passive
Effect: You possess a heightened awareness of magical energies in your immediate surroundings. You can feel faint tingles or experience subtle temperature changes when magic is being used nearby. This ability helps you identify areas with magical activity or sense the presence of magic. However, pinpointing the exact source or nature of the magic might be difficult at this level.
Magic Perception – Level 1
Type: Passive
Effect: You can see the underlying runes whenever a spell is cast in front of you. However, deciphering complex spells to view their runes will likely be blurry or misleading at this level***. Connection Effect:*** [Magic Perception] has established a Connection with one of your existing skills, [Basic Magic Script], essentially giving you the ability to not only comprehend simple spells but also create the runes required to cast them. However, complex and advanced theories will likely be beyond your grasp at this level.
Myriad Tongue – Level 1
Type: Passive
Effect: You can understand and speak all the languages of this world. This skill allows you to communicate with most of the species you encounter. Complex conversations will likely require further development of this skill. Connection Effect: [Myriad Tongue] has established a Connection with [Basic Magic Script], essentially giving you an inherent understanding of the runic language of magic.
Holy... So, this world’s really like a game, huh? There are no stats, though. Why? Ethan rubbed his chin. The skills were nice. Ethan was excited to test his skills out when someone knocked once on the door and entered. “My lord,” said the man Ethan quickly recognized as one of his advisors, Cedric, “I’ve received notice that the duke’s men have begun their journey from the Capital.” He bowed. “They’re coming to collect tax.”
Saying so, Cedric left Ethan to ponder.
Tax? What?
In this world of swords and spells, tax consisted of the rarest of monster parts and materials. Priceless Relics were found in the Deadlands just out the border—lands that were full of dangers of the highest caliber, along with endless rewards. And because these materials and items were all of a higher value, not paying tax could easily put a small town like this into debt, unless the town managed to somehow attract a wealthy and profitable industry or find themselves a noble willing to spend his coin to help their people.
Such a noble couldn’t be Theo, clearly. After all, he was just a run-of-the-mill spoiled brat from a prominent aristocratic family—the typical wastrel born lucky into money and power without ever needing to work a single day in his entire life.
Regardless, the tax was Ethan’s issue now, and he wasn’t ready to deal with it given that Theo already had quite a debt in the first place.
Ethan’s eyes deadened.
Next >
Patreon Discord
2024.05.21 06:20 occamsacer How to navigate through feelings of inadequacy due to obesity, failed writing aspirations, and a childless life by finding solace and power in online moderation
Feeling inadequate, envious, or weighed down by life's myriad disappointments can be overwhelming. When grappling with your own shortcomings—be it due to obesity, infertility, failed literary ambitions, or even an unfulfilling romantic relationship with your dog—finding an outlet for these grievances becomes essential. One particularly effective, albeit superficial, way to channel these frustrations is by frivolously exerting power over others. But how does an obese, infertile, and unsuccessful writer find a platform to wield such power? The answer is simple: they become a Reddit moderator. Here are some tips and tricks for asserting your dominance and reclaiming a sense of control in your life, all while indulging in the comforts and quirks that define you.
submitted by occamsacer to rspod [link] [comments]
- Sit comfortably in your oversized chair and type out your judgments with the force of a thousand calories. The keyboard is mightier than the sword, especially when you’re shielded by a screen.
- Proclaim that only you have the insight to decide what content is worthy of the forum. Remove any posts or comments that challenge your views about interspecies relationships or suggest healthier lifestyle choices; maintaining your narrative is key.
- Blow minor rule violations out of proportion to justify harsh punishments like banning anyone who seems more talented or happier than you. This is your domain, and your jealousy is your guide. This will keep everyone on edge and reinforce your authority as the unyielding enforcer of the rules.
- Take a Snack Break. In the midst of your demanding day of keyboard warrior battles and HR rule enforcement, it’s essential to fuel up. Pause for a quick snack and indulge in a family-sized bag of mozzarella sticks (or why not share a bag of milk-bones with your lover?). Remember, a well-fed moderator is a powerful moderator.
- Develop a loyal clique of users who echo your sentiments and report dissenters. Reward them with minor privileges to ensure their loyalty, for example you could pin a post of theirs or ban anyone who attacked them personally. This inner circle will help maintain your power base.
- Introduce random and confusing changes to forum rules or policies. This will keep everyone off-balance and dependent on you for clarification and guidance. Better yet, don’t announce them at all and refuse to elaborate when asked.
- Feeling the pressure from maintaining your authority? It's time for another snack break. This time, reach for a gallon of Walmart’s Great Value chocolate ice cream. And sorry loverboy, no sharing this time, you’re allergic!
- Frequently hint at having powerful connections or secret knowledge that justifies your actions. Whether real or imagined, this aura of mystery can make people think twice before crossing you.
- Whenever someone suggests improvements or alternatives, dismiss them with unenthused explanations or straight up lies about why the current system (designed by you) is superior. Keep progress stagnant to maintain control.
- Present yourself as a reluctant hero who bears the burden of leadership for the greater good. This narrative can garner sympathy and deter criticism by painting you as a selfless martyr.
- Share only the information that portrays you in a favorable light. Conceal or distort any facts that might undermine your authority, ensuring that the narrative always aligns with your version of reality.
- After all the effort of banning, removing, and imposing your will, it’s time to recharge. Take a nap in your oversized chair, surrounded by your pitbull memorabilia and rejected manuscripts. A short rest will rejuvenate you, ensuring you have the energy to continue wielding your unchallenged power (just don't forget to turn on your CPAP machine).
2024.05.21 06:19 Kapkrusader2 An electrician did some work but never filed for a permit
In Ky. I had 2 exterior receptacles installed outdoors. On the opposite side of an existing indoor receptacle. They tied in. They gave a receipt, but it's been 2 years. Never crossed my mind I'd need a permit.
2 weeks ago the same guy that works for that company installed a new receptacle in my kitchen. He had to run a "wire" from a new breaker in my electrical panel about 6 feet to the new outlet. I did ask if it needed to a permit, he said no. But I'm thinking it does need a permit. I'm going to the code office in the A.M. and ask about the 3 new outlets.
My Questions.. does the 2 exterior outlets that tie into the indoor outlets count as two new outlets since it's just tied in ?
And #2, will code enforcement give me @#!^ and say I can't get a permit because someone else did it ?
I don't need a permit in case I ever sell it, I need a permit so homeowners insurance protection.
submitted by Kapkrusader2 to AskElectricians [link] [comments]
2 weeks ago the same guy that works for that company installed a new receptacle in my kitchen. He had to run a "wire" from a new breaker in my electrical panel about 6 feet to the new outlet. I did ask if it needed to a permit, he said no. But I'm thinking it does need a permit. I'm going to the code office in the A.M. and ask about the 3 new outlets.
My Questions.. does the 2 exterior outlets that tie into the indoor outlets count as two new outlets since it's just tied in ?
And #2, will code enforcement give me @#!^ and say I can't get a permit because someone else did it ?
I don't need a permit in case I ever sell it, I need a permit so homeowners insurance protection.
2024.05.21 05:58 Master-Poem Jonathan Goodman - Online Trainer Academy (Download)
 | Jonathan Goodman - Online Trainer Academy submitted by Master-Poem to Forex_Scalpers [link] [comments] Jonathan Goodman - Online Trainer Academy Reviews: Is it worth it?Are you tired of feeling like a hamster on a wheel, running tirelessly through the same old routine day in and day out? If you're nodding along in agreement, then listen up, because I've got something that might just change your life. Enter Jonathan Goodman's Online Trainer Academy, the beacon of hope for fitness professionals drowning in the chaos of their own success.A Personal Journey to SuccessLet's kick things off with a glimpse into the mind of Jonathan Goodman himself. Picture this: a once-burned-out trainer, grinding through endless hours with nothing but caffeine pills and blender lunches for sustenance. Sound familiar? Goodman's been there, done that, and now he's here to guide you through the maze of exhaustion and frustration toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.Breaking Free from the 9-to-5 GrindSay goodbye to those dreaded 5 a.m. wake-up calls and hello to a life of freedom and flexibility. With the Online Trainer Academy, you'll learn how to reclaim your time, your sanity, and your passion for what you do. No more random client sessions at odd hours or sacrificing precious moments with loved ones. It's time to take control of your schedule and start living life on your own terms.More Than Just a Business CourseBut hold on, this isn't your run-of-the-mill business course peddling empty promises and quick fixes. The Online Trainer Academy is a comprehensive roadmap to success, carefully crafted over 7+ years of research and development. Backed by input from over 40 top coaches, this isn't just a course—it's a community of like-minded individuals dedicated to helping you thrive.Flexible Learning, Lasting ResultsForget about rigid deadlines and stuffy classrooms. With lifetime access to mobile-friendly materials, you can study at your own pace, anytime, anywhere. Whether you're squeezing in a lesson between client sessions or cozying up on the couch after a long day, the Online Trainer Academy puts the power in your hands.Tools of the TradeWhat exactly do you get with your Online Trainer Academy membership? Glad you asked. How about a digital textbook packed with insider knowledge, 80+ video lessons to turbocharge your learning, and over 45 scripts, forms, and templates to streamline your business operations? Oh, and let's not forget about the exclusive mastermind group where you can connect with fellow students and mentors alike.From Mindset to MarketingReady to dive into the nitty-gritty? The Online Trainer Academy's four modules cover everything from mindset mastery to savvy marketing strategies. Learn how to overcome obstacles, set your prices like a pro, and build lasting relationships with your clients. Plus, with a bonus module on leveling up your skills, you'll be well-equipped to tackle whatever challenges come your way.The Time for Change is NowSo, what are you waiting for? Whether you're a seasoned pro or just starting out, Jonathan Goodman's Online Trainer Academy has something for everyone. Say goodbye to the status quo and hello to a future filled with passion, purpose, and unlimited potential. It's time to take the leap and join the ranks of successful online trainers around the globe. Your journey starts here. |