Hi! I am an OR nurse and a large portion of my current patient population is Spanish speaking only. Luckily since I am in the OR there is only a bit of speaking I have to do, I am going to give my script below in English and Google Translated Spanish. I am interested in knowing if there are any better (easier, simpler, shorter, clearer, more polite, etc.) ways to phrase things and if there are points where words need to be modified on a case by case basis (i.e. patient gender).
Hello my name is [NAME] I will be your nurse in the operating room today. I just have a few questions for you and then we can roll back.
Can you confirm your full name and birth date?
Do you have any allergies?
What procedure are we doing for you today?
Who is your surgeon?
When was the last time you ate or drank anything?
Do you have any metal implants?
Do you have any questions?
When we get back to the room
(IN OPERATING ROOM)
This is [SCRUB] he/she will be helping [SURGEON] with the procedure. Will you tell him/her your full name and birthday?
It's okay to be nervous, you don't this everyday. But, we do this everyday, and we'll be with you the whole time.
Please lean forward so I can untie your gown.
I am going to lay the head of your bed back.
Please scoot over to the operating room bed. Lift your hips so that you will not be sitting on your gown.
Please cross your arms over your chest, I am removing the bed now.
I have warm blankets for you.
The anesthetist is going to hook you up to the monitor now.
Please rest your arm here on the armboard.
I am putting on a safety strap
The mask is just pure oxygen. Please take deep breaths- in and out.
Have you decided what you want to dream about yet?
The anesthetist is giving you some relaxing medication now, it might burn a little, that is normal.
I'll see you in just a bit, enjoy your nap.
Hola, mi nombre es [NAME]. Hoy seré su enfermera en el quirófano. Solo tengo algunas preguntas para usted y luego podremos retroceder.
¿Puedes confirmar tu nombre completo y fecha de nacimiento?
¿Tienes alguna alergia?
¿Qué trámite te hacemos hoy?
¿Quién es tu cirujano?
¿Cuándo fue la última vez que comiste o bebiste algo?
¿Tiene algún implante metálico?
¿Tiene usted alguna pregunta?
Cuando volvamos a la habitación
(IN OPERATING ROOM)
Este es [SCRUB], él/ella ayudará a [SURGEON] con el procedimiento. ¿Le dirás tu nombre completo y fecha de nacimiento?
Está bien estar nervioso, no lo haces todos los días. Pero hacemos esto todos los días y estaremos contigo todo el tiempo.
Por favor, inclínate hacia adelante para que pueda desatar tu vestido.
Voy a recostar la cabecera de tu cama.
Por favor, acérquese a la cama del quirófano. Levanta las caderas para no sentarte sobre la bata.
Por favor, cruza los brazos sobre el pecho. Ahora estoy quitando la cama.
Tengo mantas calientes para ti.
El anestesista ahora lo conectará al monitor.
Por favor, apoye su brazo aquí en el reposabrazos.
me estoy poniendo una correa de seguridad
La máscara es sólo oxígeno puro. Por favor, inhale y exhale profundamente.
¿Ya has decidido con qué quieres soñar?
El anestesista te está dando ahora algún medicamento relajante, puede que te arda un poco, eso es normal.
Te veré en un momento, disfruta tu siesta.

So for context, me (m) and my boyfriend have been dating for 7 months or so now. We met through marching band and got close with one another over away band camp, because we happened to be in the same cabin. We hit it off because I made an offhand comment about being gay (testing the waters, seeing if i could be out in a room of cisgender likely straight teen boys) and he lit up and said "oh wow! im bi".
context for those not in US: freshman = 9th, sophomore = 10th, junior = 11th, senior =12th.
We have an age gap of a little under a year and a half, so right now we're 15 and 16, but after his birthday we will be 15 and 17 for about half a year until I turn 16. That doesn't seem too bad, but because of unfortunate timing we're a freshman and a junior. He has a summer bday, mine is near the beginning of the school year. He's friends with pretty much all of my school friends and im friends with most of his school friends, and all of them agree that theres not much of a maturity difference between us. He interacts with my 9th and 10th grade friends normally and its not awkward, and i interact normally around his 11th and 12th grade friends. The problem is tho, a lot of people who im aquanited with say it's weird because of the grade gap. These two people specifically say "if the grades dont touch neither should you", which i kind of agree with but I feel like we're a special case. I dont really think these people have my best interests in mind tho, because theyre also mildly transphobic and overall assholes. I feel like if they were actually concerned theyd properly talk to me about it and not make weird offhanded jokes just to take the piss out of it. Ive also said im uncomfortable with that specific phrase, because it implies that our relationship is purely sexual which it is NOT (the 'touching' part). thats not to say its completely romantic if you catch my drift, but the idea that the first thing people think of when they hear of our age gap is sex makes us both uncomfortable as weve both had untastly encounters with gross adults/older kids. The age gap teasing is also made worse by the fact that im trans. Since I'm not on testosterone but still mildly pass, I look like a pre-pubescent boy, or a 13 year old (to people who dont know im trans). I'm around 5'6, chubby, round face, high voice etc. I'm muscular, but it blends with my fat to just make me look more chubby. He is very developed for his age, being 5'8-5'10, deeper voice, with a bit of facial hair. hes chubby too, but he has a body shape that makes him appear more muscular. Apparently, we look like we could have a 5 year age gap, but again, all of our friends say we look about the same age and the only people who say that are the aformentioned mild assholes.
I also want to make it clear that he has shown no signs of seeking me out specifically for sex/for my age/because im trans/anything like that. When we realized we liked eachother we put off a relationship because he didnt want me to think he wanted me for my body or that he's a creep. the first few weeks were awkward in terms of PDA because we both didnt want people to think there was a groomevictim situation going on, but weve never been afraid to be close in private because the age gap isnt weird to us.
so, i guess what im asking is, is our age gap okay or are our friends just people pleasers/yes-men?

I am here but I’m there
In that space where you reside Where you accept my thoughts and we exchange witty banter Building something innocently and blindly
Until the two worlds collide
And then it’s like Face eyes mouth teeth breath Guitar drums bass flash
Talk. Not even talk is the right word. Connect? Laugh. Drift. Busy but eyes on each other. Reconnect. Deep connect.
The after.
I could write a million things. About the gentleness with which you shut the door. The ease and comfort I felt.
I won’t describe the make and model. I’m laughing as I type this. The Russian bodyguard’s bald head gleamed a little brighter than the neon sign through your dashboard.
Didn’t even think about it until it I thought about how you maybe felt about it. We crossed a lot of lines and made up for two decades.
It was a lot. It’s still a lot.
I could say that it weighs on me but it’s more like a delightful buoyant space in time that reminds me I’m alive. I really care about you and consider myself lucky to be someone who connected with you in space and time. Happy birthday.

Now I know I’ve probably committed a cardinal sin in terms of my Russian learning methods, and I will never forget the very “useful” phrases I have learned with Duolingo (i.e «Кошка ест яица» 😀), I think it’s time for a change. I’m already looking at a couple of textbooks right now, like “The New Penguin Russian Course” , or the probably more well known “Russian for Dummies”, but I’d like to approach the community first, and see if you guys have any better or similar recommendations. Спасибо!

[Chapter 1] ; [Previous Chapter] ; [Discord + Wiki] ; [Patreon]
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Chapter 168 – The moment to live and the moment to die
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„Jumping!“ an Ensign announced loudly as the Sun's view-windows very briefly flickered into a dark black only to go back to a full view of the ongoing battle basically instantly, having barely shifted the ship's position at incomprehensible speed. „Shot clear of allied ships.“
Vice-Admiral Kazadi tapped his finger on one of the armrests of the Commander's seat that still felt anything but comfortable for him to sit in as the tight grid of flashing lights reflected in his eyes within the twilight of the bridge.
“Fire,” he then ordered. Not even a blink later, a burst of colorful light broke into his view from the side of his very own ship, lighting up the entirety of the bridge even through the automatically tinting windows that absorbed a lot of the harmful light so the crew wouldn't flashbang themselves with each shot.
The relativity canon fire tore through the enemy ship at an almost literal instant with any travel time barely being conceivable to a mortal mind. In a large unload of energy that left almost the entire stern-side of the zodiatos ship as a molten mass of dispersing slag, the main propulsion was taken out. Simultaneously, the two accompanying cruisers had also taken their shots; with the 'Civil' taking out the engine of one more enemy vessel while the 'of the roses' had instead used its shot to disperse one of the enemy projectiles in order to buy their own hunter ships more freedom of movement. Those huge ones didn't go down easy from one of the hunters' smaller shots, so using one of the large canons to dispatch it took some of the heat off them.
Meanwhile, smaller targets on the enemy vessels, such as their own canons, were gradually taken out by said hunters, whose own fire – while able to be quite destructive if intended no doubt – could be used in a far more precise manner. With more and more of their canons failing, the protective volleys the coreworld terrorists could fire to hide themselves away also became less and less effective.
“Send the fallback-beacon,” Kazadi then ordered, since close quarter attacks became less and less necessary.
It seemed that the zodiatos had a hard time adjusting to the combat style of the human unkindnesses, however that didn't mean they should take any unnecessary risks. Even if a pilot could've been able to avoid all enemy attacks in a perfect world, he knew that his pilots were only human.
Casualties of their own had been comparatively minimal so far, however as if to prove him right about his thoughts, he could see on his surveillance screen how, just in that moment, one of their ships was taken out by an enemy craft.
He grimaced to himself and let out a mild sigh. One more family who would never see one of their own again...
It took a moment before all the ships were reached by the beacon. Due to the nature of their own combat strategies, as well as the particular nature of hyperspace, it was entirely impossible to effectively contact any of their ships directly while they were out in the battle. Therefore, the order to fall back had to be broadcast as a general signal, that each of the pilots could individually pick up as soon as they would keep still for long enough so that it could reach them.
By now, the battle was already won. None of the zodiatos' weapons were able to match the relativity canons in effective range and without the larger ships to back them up, their small hunters wouldn't be able to launch an offensive – shields or not. They could just stay back and fire until surrender now. As the signal was picked up, one of their ships after another disappeared in one last flash of hyperspace as they joined back up with the larger vessels in an enclosing formation.
“Prepare for the retrieval of some of those projectiles,” the Vice-Admiral then ordered as he hoped they would be able to track some of those spent shots their enemies had fired. They would have to figure out what kind of tech that was.
In such a small-scale conflict, it was more than manageable to face it. However, it could offer some difficulties in larger fleets – especially since they didn't know how far this kind of tech could possible be expanded and refined. It was quite possible this was just some form of prototype.
While that order was followed, one of his Lieutenants suddenly spoke up.
“Sir, we have an incoming transmission from the planet. Civilian. Not encrypted, but they seemingly had an access code,” they related quickly.
“Is the earlier interference cleared up?” he immediately asked back, to which the answer was positive. “Put it through then,” he immediately ordered as soon as he heard that.
He rubbed one of his tight braids between his fingers as he waited for contact to be established. Once the line was clear, things remained quiet for a moment.
“What are we best at?” he then asked the silent line, his chest tightening ever so slightly, even if he didn't have to wait long for a reply.
“Topping from the bottom,” a very familiar voice replied from the other end, sounding incredibly strained but most certainly alive.
The code phrase was an old in-joke about something that had been said back during humanity's first contact with the tonamstrosites due to a slightly choppy translation. However, it more than sufficed here to tell Kazadi that the person on the other side of the line was not only genuine, but also not in any immediate distress – at least none that was brought onto her by someone else.
“Good to hear your voice Ma'am,” he greeted the Admiral after taking a brief moment to allow his heart to settle.
“The pleasure is all mine, Celestin,” Admiral Krieger replied in between heavy breaths that sounded like a combination between being ready to collapse and absolutely willing to tear anyone's throat out at a moment's notice. “Excuse me for the unorthodox contact, my own means of communication have all been destroyed. Update me.”
A brief smile played on the Vice-Admiral's lips.
“No problem, Ma'am. Things are under control up here, but multiple allied coluyvoree ships were destroyed and we suffered some casualties of our own which I will take full responsibility for,” he quickly complied. “By now, the enemy crafts have been largely disabled and our fighters are falling back. What's the situation on your end?”
There was a bit of a grunt from the other side of the line that seemed unrelated to the ongoing conversation.
“I'm sure you did everything by the books,” Krieger then replied a moment later. “Down here the situation is precarious but momentarily under control. We have an unconfirmed number of casualties after an attack with an unknown weapon. All squads are either KIA or unresponsive. We took down six enemy combatants but can't confirm if there's more. I'm going to need clean up, rescue teams, as well as pickup for me and two large offworlders asap.”
Celestin nodded.
“We're in a stable position, so we'll jump teams down right away. Hold out just a minute more,” he assured her while already signing in the necessary order to the troops they had on standby. “How bad are your injuries?”
There was another groan of pain from Krieger's side.
“Crushed cranberries,” she replied after a long moment that sounded like she needed to catch her breath.
“Copy that,” Kazadi replied with a grimace. “Sending muti-team with the evac.”
“Copy that,” Krieger confirmed. “Krieger out.”
With that, the call was hung up. On his screen, Celestin could see how the preparations for dispatch of the requested teams was already well underway. Jumping towards a planet at FTL was generally discouraged by the Galactic Community. However, this was an emergency. They couldn't wait for normal re-entry.
After watching the reported progress for just a moment, his eyes returned to the ongoing battle. He watched the enemy ships as they hovered dead in space, unable to maneuver.
They seemed to have recalled their own fighters back in order to form some sort of protective wall around the 'mother ships' with their own small shields. Obviously it wouldn't be very effective, so it seemed like needless cruelty to make their own soldiers get in the way of the incoming fire. Something within Kazadi told the Vice-Admiral they weren't going to stand down.
“Sir, we're getting some strange hyperspace-readings,” his Lieutenant suddenly announced, making him look up.
“Weapon-grade?” he immediately asked, knowing they had less than a moment to react if it was. However, he also figured there would've been more urgency to their voice had it been so.
“No, Sir. Travel-grade,” the Lieutenant quickly replied. “However the readings are unusual. It seems like they are creating a stretch solely around themselves.”
Kazadi's lips shifted a bit as he took that in and he briefly ran a hand over his mouth in thought. “Prepare to collapse,” he ordered. “Maybe they will attempt some sort of running start. We can't let them get away.”
Right then, the light of what was happening had not yet caught up to the spacial distortion that their sensors were detecting, meaning the ships still looked perfectly normal – if damaged – when he looked at them. However, they were planning something. And that made them appear all the more ominous.
His mind quickly went through their own protocols. The U.H.S.D.F. employed hyperspace in nearly all its possible facets in their tactics. If it was even close to sensible, they would have something that was akin to the maneuver their foes were attempting to execute right now.
A bubble of hyperspace solely around their ships...a dodge? Hardly, there was nothing to dodge like that. An attempt to hide away? No, they knew human ships could collapse hyperspace from the outside easily.
Before him, the windows of the ship once again automatically dimmed, protecting the crew's eyes as the colorful light of the created hyperspace-bubble finally reached them.
“Hyperspace collapsed!” the Lieutenant then suddenly announced, causing Kazadi to blink in surprise as his eyes shot up to his screen. He hadn't given any order to collapse it yet. But indeed, it was gone. For a moment, he thought that the stress had caused his officer to use the wrong term in haste, however no, they had been completely right. It had not been dispersed in a controlled manner. It had collapsed.
In a mild 'thud', the Vice-Admiral's fist descended on the armrest, hand firmly clenched into a fist.
“Those cowardly ba-” he began to growl but then bit his tongue and released a low, almost grunting exhale while his fist quivered from momentarily clenching tighter. “Prepare to search for survivors,” he instead said in a much more controlled manner a moment later. “Preserve lives.”
“Yessir,” multiple of his officers echoed back as he looked out of the window, where he could still see the ghostly afterimage of the hyperspace bubble linger for a bit longer. It was always a strange feeling, seeing someone in the distance who was already dead...
–
With her view darkened and her goggles momentarily pulled off her eyes, Shida stared at the glowing bubble of impossible colors. Her sensors had already told her what was about to happen at any moment now, however her eyes still heavily constricted as they finally witnessed what unfolded themselves.
In what could be described as nothing else than a 'snap' , the light of the hyperspace-stretch instantly condensed down into its original size as the universe all at once remembered that the laws of physics were a thing that existed and brutally forced space to conform to them once again – no matter what may have been in between it and its original form.
Anything within the strange, round stretch was mercilessly ripped along with the convulsion, forcing all the injected warships and fighters into the single, small point that the stretch had been generated from. Though not even a faction of a second later, it all exploded outwards again as the megatons of mass realized that they could not all exist in the same place at once, since the energy of the event was not quite potent enough to press it all into a neutron star or singularity.
No longer recognizable blotches of undefined, white-hot matter were instantly scattered in all directions like some sort of micro-supernova that accentuated the sometimes still burning nano-stars that the earlier battle had created from the opposing fighters.
It was almost pretty...but still, Shida couldn't help but let her ears hang as she wondered how many of the enemy combatants had known about the decision to end things this way. Had any of them even been asked?
Even if it was the far more disturbing answer in a way, Shida almost hoped that this had actually been one mutual suicide-pact instead of the decision of one single commander to choose death over dishonor. Especially while sitting in a ship that was technically under the command of someone else herself, that was certainly the less immediately petrifying option – even if it would probably spell far worse things in the long run.
As she said there, the 'shockwave' of the collapsing hyperspace suddenly hit her, spreading out through space even without any medium to carry it and rocking her ship gently while also penetrating all throughout her body. Of course the earlier relativity fire had already caused similar ripples and she was therefore quite used to the feeling, however these ones sure felt a bit more severe than those of the U.H.S.D.F.'s own canons. It was like she felt her own body distort while also remaining perfectly in palace – almost like she was a stiff container full of water that someone had given a heavy smack from the side, riling up the liquid without it actually having any place to plash to.
According to everything they knew, this phenomenon felt incredibly odd but was entirely harmless to living beings – which was instinctively very hard to believe when one felt it on their own body.
However, her dwelling thoughts were, perhaps luckily, interrupted as she – or more precisely one of her scanners - picked up on a peculiar signature that one of the scattered debris pieces was sending out.
Well, it was 'peculiar' to her that there was a signal at all at first, however then she quickly realized what it actually was. This particular signal was hammered into any pilot's head six ways to Sunday, and so she reacted relatively quickly when she glanced at the grid and realized that she was the closest ship to it. Firing up her engines, she turned her ship on the spot in a slight drift before activating her generator and making a jump right behind the flying object.
Once there, she allowed her computer to take aim for a second before firing out a harpoon that quickly struck the flying debris and latched her ship onto it through a long cable, allowing her to pull the thing along with her after slowly using her backwards thrusters to disperse its speed little by little. Pressing the indicator of her communication, she then spoke up.
“Scratches to Sun,” she announced. “I just recovered a black box. Permission to return for inspection?”
The black boxes of modern ships truly were among the most ridiculous pieces of tech out there, in Shida's humble opinion. Built to withstand almost everything that would likely take a ship out through a combination of brilliant engineering and extremely flexible material that only worked in its indented manner on very small scales. Well, very small compared to the ships they were built into. The things were about half the size of Shida in the end. For many years, armies of scientists had attempted their very best to make this same sort of defense useful in ways that could maybe be used to protect actual people from catastrophic events – but to no avail so far. For now, the only thing those little marvels could allow to survive even something as ludicrous as hyperspace collapsing was information.
“Permission granted, Lieutenant-Commander,” the answer came almost immediately. “Return to hangar three.”
“Copy,” Shida replied. “Scratches out.”
With that, she moved her ship around and prepared for her jump back to the Sun. Hopefully this thing would give them some answers on what exactly this whole thing was meant to accomplish...
–
Far away in another part of the galaxy, a pair of mildly glowing red eyes was laser-focused on a large screen that was just one of many that had merged all over Nedstaniot-Station to broadcast the breaking news to anyone willing to lift their eyes at a slight angle to look at them.
An attack on a coreworld. And not just any coreworld. Gewelitten itself. Something like this hadn't happened in...well, Curi didn't even know how long.
Details seemed to still be incredibly fuzzy as the battle so close to the coluyvoree homeworld had either just happened or was still happening at the moment of the broadcast, however what few details were known were already repeated on end in an endless scroll of text that was meant to catch as many people up to speed as was at all possible through the medium of television. Obviously the same emerging details could already be looked up on the net as well to find them in a more digestible format than the endlessly moving text next to the not exactly top quality footage of the occurring conflict.
However, despite the speed with which it went by, Curi had no problem following the scroll as they stared at the screen intensely.
“Attack was unannounced. Multiple Gewelitten fleet ships destroyed. Official sources confirm: Humanity NOT the aggressor. Attacking ships presumed to be of zodiatos origin. Unknown weapon technology deployed during the attack. U.H.S.D.F. ships engaged in combat after aggression. Myiat delegation ship confirmed unharmed. Attack on government facility on planet simultaneous to spacial attack. Councilman-Candidate Aldwin confirmed unharmed. Status of U.H.S.D.F. General Krieger unknown. Status of Gewelitten Governor H. Cierrophai unknown. Status of Acting-Councilman Afuéhner unknown. Allied coreworld defense fleets activated and inbound. General alert level raised to 8. Hyperspace-travel shut down around the system.”
“Mother, oh no...” Mueen said with absolute shock in his eyes, both of his hands clasped over this mouth as his wide pupils quivered in fear from what they witnessed.
Curi could understand his worry. Though Moar had supposedly been with James, so she would probably be fine. The cyborg was certainly more than just a little relieved that James was already confirmed to be safe. Though the idea that Admiral Krieger's situation was unknown was more than just a little disconcerting.
Though despite the supposed lack of their commanding officer, it seemed like the humans had decisively won out in the battle outside of the coreworld's atmosphere; unknown technology or not.
Given the sub-par footage that some drone was likely recording from quite far away from the actual conflict, it was very hard to tell just what sort of weapon the unknown but presumed to be zodiatos attackers had unleashed there. It looked like some sort of emanating energy that destroyed what it came into contact with but also interacted with it as if it had a physical presence.
Curi had never seen anything remotely like it before – not even in their wildest theories – and their mind immediately wanted to go wild with speculations and ideas about how such a thing might work now that they knew for a fact that it was possible from seeing it with their own eyes.
However, the cyborg pulled themselves together and successfully forced the briefly almost overwhelming desire to focus on nothing else down as they shifted their gaze slightly away from the screen to look over at their other currently nearby company.
Then again, as much as they knew they couldn't let their guard down around him, Reprig's eyes were just as immovably attached to the large screen as Mueen's were as he witnessed the unfolding battle with quivering horror.
His trunk was wiggling wildly in his face and one of his hands nervously scratched over the plate of the table they were all sitting and standing at and on, right next to a piece of paper with a hastily drawn sketch of a spring-like mechanical leg that was inspired by what humans called 'running blades'. The Warrant Officer's weapon also laid on the table, pushed a but further away from his hand so he wouldn't be able to easily reach it.
Though despite his focus, Curi couldn't quite help but speak up after a moment of watching him. “A coreworld attacking another coreworld,” they said to the man, who they knew either had to know far more than they did about this – or would be far more invested in it unfolding. “This is unprecedented.”
Reprig seemed to notice that they were talking to him, however he still remained silent and stared a good few moments longer before finally pulling his gaze away from the screen.
As his eyes met theirs, he looked a bit sick. It almost reminded the cyborg of one of the first interactions they had with the man, back when they nudged him slightly to hand his spy-device back to him after he tried to hide it in James' cabin. Though this time, the cyborg was quite sure that they were not the reason why the man seemed like most of his blood was currently rushing into his stomach.
Could he actually be shocked about what was happening? Was this not part of the plan?
“Unprecedented doesn't even come close to describing it...” he mumbled and couldn't hold the cyborg's gaze for long, looking down to the table's plate instead. “And these aren't just any coreworlds. Osontjar and Gewelitten have been allied for an unimaginably long time. The thought that they would even think of attacking each other...what sort of madness could've caused something like this?”
Curi was the first to admit to themselves that they were far from the best at reading people. If someone with even a modicum of skill in acting wanted to make them believe something untrue about the person they were talking to, they would never deny that there was a good chance of that person succeeding.
Still, Reprig's reaction felt...genuine to them. As if he had actually never expected something like this to happen. Not in a million years.
Maybe it was just skillful acting. And Curi knew that they should have been suspicious like that. However, despite everything he had done, they couldn't quite bring themselves to suspect that he was lying at that moment.
“I know it is unlikely you will give me an honest answer, but-” Curi began to say, however Reprig was more than able to anticipate what they were going to ask and replied long before they were finished.
“No. No. Never,” the sipusserleng said, shaking his head heavily and standing his trunk up while making a denying gesture with his hand that was so brash that he actually knocked his crutch off the small outcrop in the table it had been laid down on. “This must be some absolutely deranged people, no two ways about it. To attack a coreword...”
Curi noticed Reprig's gaze briefly twitching down, his eyes jumping onto the personal assistant strapped to his lower arm as if he suddenly got the urge to use it for something.
Curi suspected he likely wanted to call someone; question them to make extra sure that they had, in fact, nothing to do with this. Though the sipusserleng suppressed the urge and pulled his eyes away, bringing them back up to the screen.
Just at that moment, the implosion of collapsing hyperspace suddenly lit up the footage moments before the glowing remnants of what once had been the zodiatos ships were scattered across the star-system.
Mueen mumbled something in his home's language as his eyes remained affixed to the screen. Curi couldn't even begin to guess what he was saying. However, his voice sounded pleading.
“Suicide instead of surrender?” Reprig meanwhile mouthed breathlessly as his nervous tick of excessively licking his trunk began to show.
Although he had often been otherwise employed in recent times, Curi could see it in the man's eyes that he was still, in a way, military at heart. He knew the general values and doctrines that were conveyed to the soldiers of the Communal Military, both inside and out. And the idea of someone choosing death like this...it seemed to rock him to his very core.
Slowly, he turned his gaze over to Curi. His eyes were almost pleading with the cyborg, even if they seemed to already know that his next question would be asked in vain.
“Could it maybe have been the humans and their-” he began, but this time, it was Curi's term to cut him off after anticipating what was coming.
“While humans very much employ the collapsing of hyperspace as a tactic in war, the process is not invisible – or even subtle. Had the human ships caused that collapse, it would've been noticeable,” they explained succinctly. “It could've still been a mere unexpected failure of the hyperspace generation, of course. However, with the rarity of such events, the timing seems...unlikely.”
“They weren't even trying to generate a real stretch...” Reprig concurred dejectedly and left his head hanging, his trunk also sinking down limply. “I can't even imagine- Well...I hope they will at least find peace now, away from the madness.”
Curi paused for a long moment, staring at the Warrant Officer some more. Admittedly, the cyborg was a bit confounded at something. They knew for a fact the man had put his own life on the line for his orders, with a very real chance that they would lead to his death, more than just once. And yet the idea of being ordered to die seemed to disturb him. They couldn't quite figure out the difference that led to the results in reaction being so incredibly different, however it was still very clear that there was one.
And it seemed to hit the man hard.
Self-admittedly, Curi didn't exactly pity the man. They didn't quite have the capacity to. They knew about so many horrible things he had done that simply seeing him distressed was far from enough to stir such deep empathy for him within them.
Yet still, they weren't left entirely cold by it either – and if it was only because he seemed to be affected by these events in the ways a, for a lack of a better term, 'normal person' would be. He was shocked at the sudden, seemingly senseless violence, and concerned about the people involved.
Granted, it was likely only because they were people he considered worth being concerned about, yet still, the reaction was so...'normal', in a way they didn't quite expect from someone with such a capability for unceremonious acts of cruelty and violence. Even this person who had tried to kill them, or at least had been entirely comfortable with them getting killed, was capable of such a reaction.
And Curi...wasn't sure if that made things better or worse, if they were being honest.
It felt better because there was the capability for empathy there, however...it felt worse because they felt how they had been and likely still were willingly denied said empathy.
He could have cared...he just didn't want to.
Curi shook their body heavily, causing mild sounds from the engines running their legs' movements from the sudden force as they tried to shoo away emotions that they really didn't want to be feeling at that exact moment.
The thing that mostly kept them from following up on some of their uncomfortably aggressive thoughts at that moment was the fact that Mueen was still with them, the worry for his mother written across his features like a deep engraving in a metal plaque. He did not need anything like that around him right now, that much was clear.
Slowly, they moved over to him and reached up one of their long legs to run it along his arm while he still covered parts of his large face with both hands.
“She will be alright,” Curi then assured the dark-furred rafulite, switching from their usual voice box to their more “melodic” one to put on a gentle, calming tone. “She is stronger than she seems.”
Inhaling deeply as his nostrils flared, Mueen closed his dark eyes and swallowed heavily, taking his gaze off the large screen for the first time in many minutes while slowly hanging his head down.
“Yeah,” he said, seeming to force hopefulness into his tone. “Yes, she'll be fine. She made it his far. This won't get to her.”
Curi nodded with their entire body and continued to run the tip of their leg along his arm.
“She will be,” they repeated, both to the man and themselves as their own eyes moved upwards, their gaze falling back on the battlefield riddled with burning remnants of matter. “I'm sure of it.”
–
Never in his life had James felt so drunk and so sober at the same time. His mind was entirely clear, running a light-year a minute as it desperately tried to simultaneously process all the admittedly little information that he had in his current situation AND to not absolutely freak out while doing so somehow – a task he was ludicrously failing at. And it did NOT help that his body could barely keep itself on his own two feet.
He had avoided completely fainting by a hair earlier after reminding himself that, instead of being terrified for Shida's life, it would be much more fair towards her to simply focus on trusting in her skills to carry her through. However, that was barely a little patch on an enormous crack in his facade as he couldn't help but go over and over and over the fact of how much worse the situation that she needed to jump into here had been for her simply because it was his damn birthday and they wanted to indulge over it. He should've stopped that, but noooo, he just had to go and let himself be swayed so damn easily, as if he was still that little boy following Koko around whenever she visited the compound to try and get some attention.
Of course, a quiet voice in the back of his head tried to politely remind him that Shida had, in fact, not only taken part in the festivities as well but also encouraged him to do so, however it was easily overpowered by the screaming rest of his mind.
He briefly glanced over at the only somewhat conscious Commander. When she said that they should match each other's drinks, that should've been the moment he stopped. She was like half his weight, what the hell was he thinking?
His mechanical hand shot up, heavily gripping a fist full of hair as he tried to force himself to focus. What's done is done. There's no changing it. He should focus on anything else right now.
Though as he painfully pulled on his hair like that, his eyes suddenly went wide as he noticed something. Or, more precisely, didn't notice something.
When had the alarm stopped? Just now? Or had it been out and he just hadn't noticed?
Letting go of his hair, he lifted his face and looked around. If the alarm was over, then that meant...
The uncoordinated movement of soldiers reaching for their phones and radios with different speeds went through the room, and after brief confirmation, the uniformed forces began to move, having seemingly gotten new orders other than guarding the safe-rooms. Apparently, the threat was over.
James quickly fumbled for his own phone, his barely coordinated hands struggling extremely with the simple task of trying to call one of his contacts – much to the frustration of his already cleared mind. His finger trembled as he swiped it across the screen, trying to get it to the right damn place to make a simple god-damn call.
However, he froze in the motion at a quiet sound that was immediately followed by a sudden stir behind him as multiple people seemed to move quickly. And after just a second, James was among them as well.
Nearly tripping over his feet, he damn near threw himself onto the sickbed that didn't stand too far away from him, his phone momentarily forgotten and eyes wide open as they stared over at an endlessly familiar dark face, that however had life in it for the first time in what felt like an eternity at that moment.
Slowly and twitchy, Nia's eyes fluttered open as she let out quiet groans while mildly stirring in place while her doctors and nurses hurried around her and quickly began to take her vitals.
After flinching heavily as a flashlight was quite suddenly shone into her eyes to test her photopupillary reflex, she began to move even more. Meanwhile, James and Tuya were basically pressed shoulder to shoulder close to the foot of her bed, the only thing keeping them from dashing right up to her face being just enough awareness to not get in the doctor's way.
Still, although her movements were very slow, stiff, and groggy, Nia eventually lifted up her head, looking around with still somewhat hazy and half-closed eyes. But that didn't stop her from smiling when her gaze fell onto the two who so nervously stood at her bedside there.
“Hey,” she said in a quiet, croaky, but still very much cheerful voice as her unkempt hair fell down both sides of her face.
Though James didn't see much more than that, because just about at that moment, his vision was entirely taking away by welling-up waters sweeping him along.

Привет! I am slowly learning Russian and its been a process. But I have a question. As a native English speaker we use a lot of phrases interchangeably. But in the Russian language it seems as though a lot of things have seperare meanings.
For example
What is the proper way to introduce yourself?
Я Дакота vs. меня зовут Дакота.
Or something like
Как тебя зовут vs кто ты
Am I getting hung up on essentially slang or is there a correct way to say things like this and an incorrect way to say it.

Barsamian: In the media, and among the political class in the United States, and probably in Europe, there’s much moral outrage about Russian barbarity, war crimes, and atrocities. No doubt they are occurring as they do in every war. Don’t you find that moral outrage a bit selective though?
Chomsky: The moral outrage is quite in place. There should be moral outrage. But you go to the Global South, they just can’t believe what they’re seeing. They condemn the war, of course. It’s a deplorable crime of aggression. Then they look at the West and say: What are you guys talking about? This is what you do to us all the time.
It’s kind of astonishing to see the difference in commentary. So, you read the New York Times and their big thinker, Thomas Friedman. He wrote a column a couple of weeks ago in which he just threw up his hands in despair. He said: What can we do? How can we live in a world that has a war criminal? We’ve never experienced this since Hitler. There’s a war criminal in Russia. We’re at a loss as to how to act. We’ve never imagined the idea that there could be a war criminal anywhere.
When people in the Global South hear this, they don’t know whether to crack up in laughter or ridicule. We have war criminals walking all over Washington. Actually, we know how to deal with our war criminals. In fact, it happened on the twentieth anniversary of the invasion of Afghanistan. Remember, this was an entirely unprovoked invasion, strongly opposed by world opinion. There was an interview with the perpetrator, George W. Bush, who then went on to invade Iraq, a major war criminal, in the style section of the Washington Post — an interview with, as they described it, this lovable goofy grandpa who was playing with his grandchildren, making jokes, showing off the portraits he painted of famous people he’d met. Just a beautiful, friendly environment.
So, we know how to deal with war criminals. Thomas Friedman is wrong. We deal with them very well.
Or take probably the major war criminal of the modern period, Henry Kissinger. We deal with him not only politely, but with great admiration. This is the man after all who transmitted the order to the Air Force, saying that there should be massive bombing of Cambodia — “anything that flies on anything that moves” was his phrase. I don’t know of a comparable example in the archival record of a call for mass genocide. And it was implemented with very intensive bombing of Cambodia. We don’t know much about it because we don’t investigate our own crimes. But Taylor Owen and Ben Kiernan, serious historians of Cambodia, have described it. Then there’s our role in overthrowing Salvador Allende’s government in Chile and instituting a vicious dictatorship there, and on and on. So, we do know how to deal with our war criminals.
Still, Thomas Friedman can’t imagine that there’s anything like Ukraine. Nor was there any commentary on what he wrote, which means it was regarded as quite reasonable. You can hardly use the word selectivity. It’s beyond astonishing. So, yes, the moral outrage is perfectly in place. It’s good that Americans are finally beginning to show some outrage about major war crimes committed by someone else.

https://chomsky.info/20220616/

These are the things I learned about residency that I wish I could tell myself as a July intern on wards service. I know many of y’all here will disagree with a few, but this is how I see it. There’s definitely quite a few missing, so y’all fill in what I forgot.

• You earned the right to be here. You’ve proven you can do it so don’t doubt yourself.
• You’re not expected to know everything on day 1. Your job is to show up with a good attitude and ready to work hard.
• Listen to the nurses. Some of these critical care nurses, especially. Ask for their input and don’t brush them off as mere nurses because many of them know wayyy more than you do.
• Write things down. Print a list and make check boxes by each patient for what needs to get done that day. There are interns who forget things and interns who write things down.
• The first thing you need to learn is to tell sick from not sick, and that can be tricky at times. Later on you refine that until you see a whole spectrum of how sick a patient is.
• Don’t waste too much time pre-rounding. Brief pertinent exam, ask patient about changes in symptoms, but the highest yield is asking the nurses what went on overnight.
• Call consults before noon if you can. It’s a courtesy to the consultant/their team plus they’re far more likely to be seen that day, avoiding a delay in workup for the patient.
• Your note doesn’t have to be an essay. Keep things simple and don’t get bogged down in eloquent explanations or exhaustive reviews of a problem’s history for most routine stuff.
• However, document your reasoning well. Especially in tough cases, drop a paragraph about why you’re doing what you’re doing and that the patient agrees. For tough decisions, explain why benefit outweighs risk.
• Auto text or whatever your EMR uses. Make an arsenal of these. Use them for everything. If you have a kind of case you see a lot, template out a note so you make sure you’re documenting all the important stuff in an efficient manner. You can spend time to make these really thorough especially for counseling you routinely give.
• Be cool to your co-interns. Y’all are about to spend the next few years together. Don’t leave them in a lurch or punt to others all the time.
• Call the seniofellow/attending, especially at first. Even if they give you attitude, it’s ultimately their responsibility and they should know that.
• Try to update families daily if you can, especially for your ICU folks.
• Never, ever lie. Even once will destroy your credibility.
• Have a good attitude in a way that refuses to be bullied - don’t take that shit.
• Read all your own images. Then when rads drops a report, read that and see if you can find what they’re describing for every notes finding. It’ll make you a better doctor.
• Get to your new city as early as possible. Do things like car inspection, dentist appointment, vet appointment, etc. before July kicks off.
• Our profession has a high rate of substance abuse. Do what that what you will.
• Sit down with your family and SO and let them know what to expect and try to explain how intense this job is. When there’s a difference between expectation and reality, you have problems. Either way, it’ll strain your relationships. Make sure they know it’s not like other jobs and that when you have to work, it’s not because you’re just choosing to. Be prepared to miss birthdays, holidays, etc.
• Because of this, be deliberate on spending time with your SO/friends/family even if you’re dead tired. Go to dinner once a week. Talk as often as possible even when you just want to sleep.
• Wear comfortable shoes
• Scour the hospital for the best restroom. Sometimes having a proper relaxed shit can turn a day around.
• Get to know your chiefs. Go to them with problems earlier rather than later.
• Use every minute of PTO
• Step outside the hospital for a few minute a day when you can. See the sunshine.
• Make friends with the cafeteria staff and they’ll hook you up to no end.
• Make friends with the transporters and techs - they will save you.
• Appreciate the hell out of what PT/OT/SLP do.
• Know how to tell a patient no. Realize how manipulative people can be.
• Pharmacy is your friend - they know things
• If something is emergent, keep calling to follow up. If your crashing patient needs abx, it’s not like some doctor video game where you put the order in STAT and everyone goes rushing. Call down and check the status, let them know it’s needed now.
• Don’t order everything STAT
• Calling people in general gets so much more done and avoids so many headaches. I’ve found that back and forth via the secure messaging app/system is just frustrating and inefficient.
• You’re going to lose your first patient. Remember how you feel, and make sure you never forget it. You’ll need it later.
• Hang out outside of work, invite the nurses and therapy staff as well. Try and build a culture of friendship - it’s contagious.
• Election ‘24 is coming up in November so work is a great place to talk candidly about politics and try to change others’ beliefs /s
• If you’re struggling, reach out to someone.
• Try to get outside on your days off
• It’s not uncommon to end up on an SSRI
• Take the stairs places as much as you can. Cardio and a nice lower body workout.
• Answer pages as they come in. Anything STAT call back the moment you see it. Aim to get back to everyone within 5 minutes if you can. This will prevent you from falling behind.
• Day to night nurse shift change. Wait 30-45 minutes, then go around and talk to the nurse for all your patients. Let them get report and see if they have questions. Explain the plan, agree on when to call you, make sure orders all look good and make sense. We even used to bring candy from the physicians lounge to pass out for this event. This practice will put the nurse at ease, help you both put faces to names, develops rapport, and importantly reduces pages increasing your chance of sleeping.
• Put the diet order in
• Keep your presentations short and to the point unless someone wants them longer. Know the details, but you don’t have to recite them. You don’t have to say all the exam findings that were normal and not related to the patient’s disease. This holds attention better and shows that you really understand what’s important to why the patient is there.
• Always be prepared to dodge a punch when near a geriatric patient
• Even a 5-10 minute phone call with your loved ones on a frequent basis can do wonders
• Some people are just assholes and you can’t take things personally
• Other people are mad at something else and want to take it out on you.
• Be cool to the med students
• Get good at delivering bad news
• Celebrate delivering good news
• Fuck prior authorizations man
• When calling a consult, have a specific clinical question you need help answering. Know the patient well. Keep the call centered around what you need from them but be ready to provide details if needed. “Dr. X wants you on board” is resident code for “I know it’s bullshit but my attending made me call.”
• Delirium and sundowning are real af. The trick is to get them home.
• Benzos aren’t just “settle down” drugs. It’s like a whisky shot through the vein in the sense that it can also disinhibit people and make wildness worse
• Get to know 1 thing about each patient other than what’s in their chart. What job did they have? What’s their favorite team? Do they have pets? You’ll remember them better when the list is large and it can make the job more rewarding
• If the nurse is worried ALWAYS go to bedside
• If you feel the urge to get a tattoo, do it
• Read everyone’s note each day on your patients
• Case managers and social workers are heroes. Get to know them and work together to get patients proper dispo
• Don’t wear your damn shoes in the call room bed after they’ve been all over that nasty ass hospital floor.
• Sit down in patient rooms if you can. It shows you’re listening, it’s less intimidating for them, and they’ll tell you more.
• Talk louder to older patients
• Try to explain things in simple terms.
• Sternal rub like you mean it
• Sit down one day, caffeinate, and do all those stupid compliance modules in a single painful bolus.
• Never make the same mistake twice
• If things don’t add up, your math is wrong. Go back to the history and exam. Go back and ask more questions.
• Some patients don’t care about their health and won’t look after it after all you do. That’s just the gig.
• If something adverse for residents goes into place on a “temporary” basis, it never goes back the other way. Fight for your rights.
• Almost everything (intubation for example) is better done at 3pm than frantically at 3am.
• You’re not crazy - the patient always tells the attending something completely different or remembers some important detail. We get it.
• Have a good comfort show to stream when you come home half dead.
• Eat and sleep when you can.
• Ask yourself what it is that’s keeping this person in the hospital
• Trust but verify (that’s actually a Russian proverb Reagan borrowed when speaking about the USSR)
• Remember to love it more than you hate it. Find a way to make it fun. They say it’s the best time you never want to have again. You get to save and improve human lives. There’s no greater calling in the world than that.

Edit: a few typos and added clarity on why some of these are beneficial

Am I the asshole? I (16F) got pregnant with my boyfriend of 4 months (19M) during February 2023 then had my beautiful son during October 2023 a month early. my son is now basically 7 months and it feels like I’ve fallen out of love with his dad. To give some background it’s taken me these 7 months to gradually grow father away from my boyfriend, and it’s only happened because I feel he isn’t being a father to our son and is continuously putting himself his thoughts his wants and needs before me and our son. During our first month home from the hospital we slept in separate rooms me on a twin blow up mattress in our son’s room with our son. And him in our room. At the time my boyfriend had no set career so he was only able to get about a week for paternity leave. However during his paternity week he made no efforts to be a dad. He quite literally played video games all day smoked weed and slept. As well as constantly complaining about having to be in the hospital and the toll the hospital couches took on his body. Mind you I’m wearing diapers along with our son. Waking and sleeping every 2 hours. Changing every diaper. Running every bath. Not able to shower or eat unable to take a moment for myself because I had to sleep or go and clean dishes, do laundry, clean the room my boyfriend solo trashed, cleaning my son’s room etc. fast forward to now our son is almost 7 months and he’s very alert has a amazing personality even for 7 months and very little has changed. His dad will occasionally “do the dishes”leaving them still caked with baby foods. Never gives our son a bath has changed a total of 4 diapers 1 poop, dosent do laundry, unless I’ve left it unattended for a few days, and then, when he does do the laundry he does it angrily complaining about needing to do the laundry. he rarely spends time with our son has no problem to watch our son while I step away to go to the bathroom but won’t voluntarily spend time with our son will never play with him while he’s doing tummy time or try to talk to him while he’s in his walker. And I feel that I’m very fair with giving him opportunities. I often ask him if he’d like to spend time with our son I often give him the ability to spend time with our son without the responsibility of it basically meaning him and our son can do whatever they want and I will be there so that way if our son is hungry, throws his toy or has a fit im there for him. And my boyfriend seems to have no want for any of that. recently me, and my boyfriend had gotten into a fight. As I was trying to get our son ready to bring him outside, and I turned around to grab him a pair of socks mind, you, my boyfriend is a few inches away from our son, and within the time it took for me to turn my back in order to get our son a pair of socks, he managed to roll off of the bed. And of course it was my fault. My boyfriend completely went off on me. We are currently living with his parents and he told me that he would kick me out that he was going to call the cops on me as well as numerous other things. Point being in this argument I finally got to say some things that I haven’t been saying like how I feel like I’m raising our son solo how it seems like he has no interest in our son how I am the one who’s doing everything. And since this argument, every day a feeling has been growing within me. I’ve never really liked the phrase ick and I’ve never really gotten one before but sense me and my boyfriends argument everything that he’s doing is irritating me. my birthday is coming up next month, and last month I asked him what my budget was so that way I could pick out a bunch of stuff online for him just to order for me and he initially told me $200 which is now dropped down to 75. Mind you since last month and this month my boyfriend has spent almost $800 on a single hoodie and a single pair of shoes and is constantly complaining to me about how expensive everything is. I could keep going, but am I the asshole

JUNE TWENTY TWENTY FOUR= 216
216= 6x6x6= 666
In this post I list some interesting anniversary dates in June--
1 June 2024-- Day 828 of Putin's Invasion
Pearl Harbour was attacked 828 days after Hitler invaded Poland
8 years 8 months 8 days after the Mecca Stampede on 24 Sep 2015
666 days after the Mecca Clock was struck by Lightning on 5 Aug 2022
.
2 June 2024= 119 Weeks after the Ethiopian Renaissance Dam went on line on 20 Feb 2022
.
3 June 2024= 1911 days after the Black Monday Stock Crash on 19 Oct 1987
.
4 June 2024= 911 days after the West boycotted the 2022 Winter Olympics on 6 Dec 2021
.
7 June 2024= 911 days after Israel's Collective Strength Global banking cyber attack simulation exercise on 9 Dec 2021
SEVEN JUNE TWENTY TWENTY FOUR BANKING SYSTEM CYBER ATTACK= 666
.
8 June 2024= 666 days after Salman Rushdie was stabbed on 12 Aug 2022
322 days after Elon Musk changed Twitter to X on 22 July 2023
.
9 June 2024 = 119 Weeks after the 225 Antonov Crash on 27 Feb 2022
ECONOMIC CRASH= 225
9 June 2021-- Biden said-- "Watch out for the Cicadas"
WATCH OUT FOR THE CICADAS= 119 & 223
.
12 June 2024= 6 years 6 months 6 days after Trump announced on 6 Dec 2017 that the US was moving its Embassy to Jerusalem
.
13 June= 119 Weeks after Putin seized Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Plant on 3/3/'22
2 years 2 months 23 days after Biden warned of Russian Cyber Attacks on 21 Mar 2022
.
14 June-- Trump's birthday
2223 days after the US Embassy moved to Jerusalem on 14 May 2018
.
17 June 2024= 119 Months after Flight MH17 was shot down over Ukraine on 17 July 2014
.
19 June 2024= 223 Weeks after WHO announced the Corona Pandemic on 11 Mar 2020
.
21 June 2024-- Prince William's Solstice birthday
1190 days after Biden stumbled 3 times boarding Airforce One as he was leaving Atlanta, Georgia on 19 March 2021
.
22 June= 22 years 9 months 11 days after the 911 attacks
.
24 June 2024= 9110 days after JFK's plane crash death on 16 July 1999
223 Weeks after the Pandemic Stock Market Crash on 16 March 2020-- Dow fell 13%
.
25 June 2024 = 9111 days after JFK's plane crash death on 16 July 1999
1190 days after the Suez Canal Blockage incident on 23 Mar 2021
2 years 3 months 22 days after Putin seized Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Plant on 3/3/'22
.
26 June 2024= 3 years 3 months 3 days after the Suez Canal Blockage incident on 23 Mar 2021
.
27 June -- US Presidential debate held in Atlanta Georgia
131 days before the US Presidential Election on 5 Nov
ATLANTA GEORGIA= 131
.
28 June 2024-- Saudi King saman will be 32,322 days old
22 Months 23 days after the Mecca Clock was struck by lightning on 5 Aug 2022
TWENTY EIGHTH JUNE TWENTY TWENTY FOUR PERSIAN GULF DISASTER= 666
.
30 June 2024= 1199 days after Biden stumbled 3 times boarding Airforce One as he was leaving Atlanta, Georgia on 19 March 2021

I don’t know what to do. I have tried absolutely everything.
So I’m a woman in my 30s who has a degree, a good enough job and all I do is work, come home, eat alone and loneliness is eating me up.
I have felt this way since I was 23 years old.
I don’t have a community of friends. I have around 3 fairly close people who were from different parts of my life (one an old job, one from high school, one from college) who I see now and then but there’s no intense, talk constantly, I can tell them anything kind of friendship, they are just people I can grab lunch with now and then months apart.
My dating life has been horrendous. I can’t even explain how bad. It makes me feel like I’m this disgusting rat. All 3 friends and family members plus random people I’ve known throughout my jobs and things have all commented on how strange it is that I don’t have a partner and how badly things go for me.
The people I have dated in my past have all treated me very similarly. As in, I’ve never had an amicable breakup that ended nicely. They’ve all left me feeling awful. Everyone has always been extremely blunt in telling me I’m basically not good enough. Some phrases I’ve heard were: “you make me feel like I want to get myself back” “I didn’t ever see a future with you and didn’t know why I didn’t tell you this before” “you’re boring” “I understand why your friends and family don’t bother with you” “I just don’t care about you” “
I don’t drink alcohol and all these people told me at the start it wasn’t a problem for them. But sooner or later they would comment on how nice it would be if I joined them for a wine out on the porch after work or be able to go to a cocktail bar. And they would pressure me into doing it despite my strong stance on just not enjoying it. It almost seemed like everyone I dated was a disguised alcoholic even though they weren’t because that was the topic of a lot of our arguments … even though I know they weren’t in their “normal life” but just with me alcohol seemed so important that I didn’t do it.
I always came away feeling awful. I have an array of hobbies and find myself interesting - care for animals, reading, hiking, nature, skiing, cycling, I draw, and also write stories - nobody was ever interested in reading any or caring.
Whenever I go out with friends their partners… care. It’s something I noticed a lot. They’d text or call and ask for updates. Even when I was in relationships this didn’t happen. I’ve never, EVER had a partner or boyfriend who cared about me. This is not normal and I’ve never felt loved.
Both of my parents aren’t here either and I have a weird relationship with my brother. He’s married with kids and we aren’t close. I’ve tried and again I feel “not enough”. He tells me he doesn’t WANT to go on vacations with me because I don’t drink and he likes to go to bars and sip wine at nice places and I’d just not be compatible with him on holiday. He therefore doesn’t ever ask to hang out with me in our own country.
I was only ever close with my mother and miss her so much it hurts. I don’t feel connected with anyone and feel my personality must be so awful that nobody wants me around.
I’ve travelled a lot and even lived in other countries and feel deflated. If I do something pretty cool or a nice achievement I can’t tell anyone. Sure, a couple of my friends might send a nice text but I have nobody to hug, kiss or hype me up. I come home to my empty apartment and just have my own thoughts.
Every date I go on recently is a reflection of my past. People just seem to be super interested in the start, as in.. I have no issues getting matches and getting a good conversation flowing, sometimes even up to three moths of dating but then it ends. The same patterns occur where they suddenly don’t want a serious thing and are gone.
I’m broken making these constant deep connections with strangers only to then feel like I never knew them at all.
Friends have told me in the past I am too nice and fall too hard and people can see this but I don’t get it.
I pour my heart and soul into connections I do make, am sweet and caring and it’s never enough for people. I’ve never ever felt anything was ever reciprocated.
Everyone around me has a marriage - a stable, grown adult marriage with house problems and real life stuff, kids or engagements, stuff like that. I want that so much. I want a person to share my life with. I am so tired of being alone and being on this age on apps and going through the same things feeling so unloved and unwanted.
I look around - and this is going to sound judgmental and I don’t mean to be. But I look around at others I knew from school and friends and things and even people who are either not very attractive or even people with horrific personalities (mean, screechy, drama central kind of people) have good loyal husbands and a fairly decent enough life.
I feel like I’ve witnessed multiple situations where people cheat, so awful things and still someone is FIGHTING for someone to stay, fighting for love, somebody is a staple in their life worth it.
For me that’s just exactly what I feel I don’t have. Nobody has ever fought for me. Never cared enough to even go into a serious, let’s live together, maybe get married situations. Nobody has ever made effort the way I do. I’m good looking enough, not the most sexy person in the room but get told I’m natural beauty, cute and stuff like that. I try and take care of myself. I have that “sweet shy gentle” type personality and everyone I meet tells me I have such a good heart and soul. I really do everything for people. So I don’t understand.
I’m terrified of this continuing and I’m exhausted. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. I’m absolutely broken with feeling like my whole life has been loss around me, in terms of death of my loved ones and also loss of people I’ve cared for and wanted something with, loss of friendships that were once more solid and now are casual, just loss of everything.
Like I said I’ve tried travelling, lived in other countries, joined so many hobby groups and clubs, the amount of nights I’ve sat at a random meet up of a social night with a soft drink and chatted and gave it my all for nothing to come of it is hard to remember, I’ve even reached out on social media to old friends from random hobbies and school and nothing comes of anything.
I don’t know what else to do. I enjoy my own company but I’m now at a point where it’s depressing me so much. I don’t want this to be my life. I want to go to theme parks with someone and feel alive. I want to book holidays with someone and get excited. I want to pack together and prepare their bags. I want to ask someone about their day. I want to share plans. I don’t want to just come home anymore and stare at a wall. Constantly see people thriving on social media. Have no family at important holidays. Nobody to celebrate things, I feel so empty and not even a part of society when I see the beach packed with people, gifts for sale in stores, etc. it’s not for me because I have no one.
I don’t know what else to do. If something cool happens in my day it didn’t really happen because I am literally by myself and have nobody who cares. I feel like other single people still have close friends or a mother or father who is interested, even a community of some sort. But I am literally alone.
Even when I do stuff with friends it’s only for an hour or two and I’ll get a taste of what a nice happy life is like, maybe an hour walking along a nice beach or a nice dinner somewhere with people around us then I’m back to being alone when they go back home to their husbands and have a cute night.
I cry everyday and don’t understand this. I’m so envious of people who have tons of people in their life. I never will have that even if I find a partner. But it just kills that even that part doesn’t exist. I can’t even explain how empty I feel. My birthday went by with one text message from one of my close friends and the other two sent one days later saying they forgot and had been busy. It’s like I don’t exist. And I’m terrified and don’t know what to do.

I wrote a letter to my Dad about how he was never emotionally there in my life and how that affects me now. I get anxiety and feel uncomfortable around him and find it hard to talk to him. He read the letter and asked me to call him when I was ready. He didn't really say sorry it was more of a "sorry you feel that way" and "I'm not apologising for what I've done because what's done is done" and saying how he's disappointed that I've been lying about who I am to him which yeah he's kind of right because I've been hiding myself as a way to protect myself (yes I explained it to him in the letter and on the phone). He is brutally honest and doesn't care about other people's feelings and he said to me that I should speak up when he's hurt me (yes I've explained to him why it's hard for me to do). He basically was like let's forget about it and move on. While this did hurt, I wasn't surprised by him rather my reaction was "well, that's my Dad" I wasn't doing this for our relationship or him. I was doing it for me. I didn't want to hold onto these feelings anymore because it hurts and it's exhausting. I'm thinking of myself and my own wellbeing after living my whole life not doing that. I've never felt close to him and he's always just been there. He's always been in the background. My mum died 2 years ago and every time I meet up for Christmas or her birthday it's a stark reminder that my emotional connection to my family is gone after my mum died. She was the only one that I actually had any emotional connection to me. My mum wasn't perfect though, she overstepped boundaries and emotionally parentified me which has brought it's own set of issues. I've always felt somewhat separated from my family and I don't feel connected to them. I look at other families and see how close they are and realise how abnormal my family are.
After this I've been questioning what my next move should be. I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to keep contact so I don't regret going no contact when he dies. Part of me thinks "why bother" he'll just upset you again and it's exhausting. I just know anything that comes out of my Dad's mouth is just straight up rude because he is rude most of the time. I know it'll be exhausting. It's like dealing with a child who hasn't learnt empathy or the phrase "if you've got nothing nice to say then don't say it". Also I can't help but feel bad for him. He doesn't have friends and my mum was his emotional and social life. Yes, I know he's done that to himself but I still feel bad. It's like he's lost his wife and how a daughter. Also I don't want to put all of his emotional and social life onto my brother because I know my brother will just take it.
Maybe should this be my last try and leave it as that. I don't know. How do you guys deal with emotionally neglectful parents?

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This is a subreddit primarily focused on modern pop music, but for his 120th birthday I want to take a moment to remember one of the most iconic pop acts in American history:

Thomas Wright "Fats" Waller

A jazz pianist, a singer, and a prolific songwriter famous for his ability to jump onstage and "lift up the band," Fats Waller was a regular fixture of the nightlife scene in New York (an important figure of the legendary Harlem Renaissance) and toured his act all around the country in addition to working as a recording artist in the budding record industry.
In a way, he was one of America's first pop stars- a musical prodigy who dropped out of high school, broke into the music industry when he was a teen, sold tons of records, and developed a huge onstage persona and lived a hard partying lifestyle. We've heard that story a million times, but Fats did it first.
An often repeated story about him recounts a shocking incident where gangster Al Capone kidnapped him off the street to force him to play at a birthday party, because everybody wanted to party with Fats Waller! A less repeated story is this one I found in an NPR article that describes him selling eight of his original songs in exchange for eight hamburgers, which he then consumed in a single sitting.
So certainly, a larger than life figure.

The Records

His legacy as a founding figure of America's pop scene extends to a place you might not expect: back in 1926, he signed a recording contract with the Victor Talking Machine Company, one of the earliest manufacturers and distributors of phonographs and records, which would be bought out by the Radio Corporation of America (RCA) in 1929. Then in 1968, the company would be renamed... RCA Records!
RCA is still a powerful record label today and it's partially thanks to Fats, who was a big moneymaker for them in the early days of the record industry when they were literally selling records.
Over the course of his twenty five year career, he copyrighted around five hundred recordings- supposedly, the label would send him into a recording booth with bunches of sheet music bought from Tin Pan Alley composers and he would rearrange them on the spot to give them that special Fats Waller touch!
But he's best remembered for his skills as a pianist and, most importantly, his songwriting skills. I want to take a moment to highlight that because I firmly believe he's one of the greatest songwriters in history- many of his hits have been accepted as standards and are still in rotation with jazz singers today.

The Music

You might have heard his song "Ain't Misbehavin'," which became something of his signature song after he performed it in the landmark film Stormy Weather (1943), and it's the perfect encapsulation of his style. A clever piano line, a catchy melody, a touch of humor, and a lot of heart. It's just timeless music.

I know for certain / The one I love
I'm through with flirtin' / It's just you I'm thinkin' of
Ain't misbehavin' / Saving my love for you (for you)
(And you) (And you)

There's a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor to the song that's signature Fats- in addition to the lyrics he wrote, he was known to improv and throw new jokes in on the fly during live performances.
We're lucky enough to have footage of him performing "Your Feets Too Big" (another one of his signature numbers where he chastises a woman for, you guessed it, her foot size) and you can just see the charisma oozing off of him as he banters with the band and makes eyes at the camera. All while playing the piano too!
And he was no innocent either, often lacing his songs with innuendo that will shatter any illusions you have about old music being overly conservative. Take, for example, Hattie Noel's recording of "Find Out What They Like," which begins with a disclaimer that the song is "strictly about home cooking" before she sings this:

Find out what he likes / And how he likes it
Go on and give it to him just that way
Give it to him when he wants it / And any time he wants it
And don't you have a single word to say!

He was often performing in nightclubs and bars, which meant he knew how to get the crowd going- "The Joint Is Jumpin'" is the quintessential 1920s party anthem, with the title referring to a secret code phrase that bootleggers would use during the prohibition era to let people know that a party had illegal alcohol. The jaunty music he wrote did a lot to get people on the dance floors as well!
But though he's associated with lively entertainment, there was some grit beneath all that as well. Despite his success, Waller was still a black man living in early 20th century America, and he channelled that into legendary "Black and Blue" (a hit for Louis Armstrong) which is considered by some to be one of the first jazz protest songs:

I'm white inside, but that don't help my case / 'Cause I can't hide what is in my face
How would it end? Ain't got a friend / My only sin is in my skin
What did I do to be so black and blue?

Whatever the occasion, Fats had a song for it.

The End

But like a lot of great artists, Fats had his troubles. He was known for his hard partying lifestyle and frequent money problems that pushed him to be constantly working, and he would tragically pass away in 1943 from pneumonia while on tour.
The man was only 39 years old at the time, but as of today his legacy officially stretches 120 years! So spin a record today for Fats Waller, and get the joint jumpin' in his memory.
If you'd like to hear more of his music, I'd strongly recommend setting aside ninety minutes to watch the Broadway musical Ain't Misbehavin' because it's an incredible piece of theatre that showcases his music spectacularly. Diana Ross & The Supremes did an adorable tribute to him on The Ed Sullivan Show that's worth a watch too.
Any other Fats Waller fans in the sub? What are some of your favorite recordings of his songs?

"Why Did Jesus Die on the Cross?"

The main reason Jesus died on the cross was to defeat Satan and set us free from his oppressive rule. Everything else that Jesus accomplished was to be understood as an aspect and consequence of this victory (e.g., Recapitulation, Moral Influence, etc.).
This understanding of why Jesus had to die is called the Christus Victor (Latin for “Christ is Victorious”) view of the atonement. But, what exactly was Christ victorious from, and why? To find out the answers to these questions, we have to turn to the Old Testament, as that's what the apostles would often allude to in order to properly teach their audience the message they were trying to convey (Rom. 15:4).
The OT is full of conflict between the Father (YHVH) and false gods, between YHVH and cosmic forces of chaos. The Psalms speak of this conflict between YHVH and water monsters of the deeps (an ancient image for chaos) (Psa. 29:3-4; 74:10-14; 77:16, 19; 89:9-10; 104:2-9, etc).
The liberation of Israel from Egypt wasn’t just a conflict between Pharaoh and Moses. It was really between YHVH and the false gods of Egypt.
Regardless of whether you think the aforementioned descriptions are literal or metaphorical, the reality that the Old Testament describes is that humanity lived in a “cosmic war zone.”
The Christus Victor motif is about Christ reigning victorious over wicked principalities and Satan's kingdom, and is strongly emphasized throughout the New Testament. Scripture declares that Jesus came to drive out "the prince of this world” (John 12:31), to “destroy the works of the devil” (1 John 3:8), to “destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil” (Heb. 2:14) and to “put all enemies under his feet” (1 Cor 15:25). Jesus came to overpower the “strong man” (Satan) who held the world in bondage and worked with his Church to plunder his "palace" (Luke 11:21-22). He came to end the reign of the cosmic “thief” who seized the world to “steal, and to kill, and to destroy” the life YHVH intended for us (John 10:10). Jesus came and died on the cross to disarm “the principalities and powers” and make a “shew of them openly [i.e., public spectacle]” by “triumphing over them in [the cross]” (Col. 2:15).
Beyond these explicit statements, there are many other passages that express the Christus Victor motif as well. For example, the first prophecy in the Bible foretells that a descendent of Eve (Jesus) would crush the head of the serpent (Gen. 3:15). The first Christian sermon ever preached proclaimed that Jesus in principle conquered all YHVH's enemies (Acts 2:32-36). And the single most frequently quoted Old Testament passage by New Testament authors is Psalm 110:1 which predicts that Christ would conquer all YHVH’s opponents. (Psalm 110 is quoted or alluded to in Matthew 22:41-45; 26:64, Mark 12:35-37; 14:62, Luke 20:41-44; 22:69, Acts 5:31; 7:55-56, Romans 8:34, 1st Corinthians 15:22-25, Ephesians 1:20, Hebrews 1:3; 1:13; 5:6, 10; 6:20; 7:11, 15, 17, 21; 8:1; 10:12-13, 1st Peter 3:22, and Revelation 3:21.) According to New Testament scholar Oscar Cullman, the frequency with which New Testament authors cite this Psalm is the greatest proof that Christ’s “victory over the angel powers stands at the very center of early Christian thought.”
Because of man's rebellion, the Messiah's coming involved a rescue mission that included a strategy for vanquishing the powers of darkness.
Since YHVH is a God of love who gives genuine “say-so” to both angels and humans, YHVH rarely accomplishes His providential plans through coercion. YHVH relies on His infinite wisdom to achieve His goals. Nowhere is YHVH's wisdom put more on display than in the manner in which He outsmarted Satan and the powers of evil, using their own evil to bring about their defeat.
Most readers probably know the famous story from ancient Greece about the Trojan Horse. To recap the story, Troy and Greece had been locked in a ten-year-long vicious war when, according to Homer and Virgil, the Greeks came up with a brilliant idea. They built an enormous wooden horse, hid soldiers inside and offered it to the Trojans as a gift, claiming they were conceding defeat and going home. The delighted Trojans accepted the gift and proceeded to celebrate by drinking themselves into a drunken stupor. When night came and the Trojan warriors were too wasted to fight, the Greeks exited the horse, unlocked the city gates to quietly let all their compatriots in, and easily conquered the city, thus winning the war.
Historians debate whether any of this actually happened. But either way, as military strategies go, it’s brilliant.
Now, there are five clues in the New Testament that suggest YHVH was using something like this Trojan Horse strategy against the powers when he sent Jesus into the world:
1) The Bible tells us that YHVH's victory over the powers of darkness was achieved by the employment of YHVH’s wisdom, and was centered on that wisdom having become reality in Jesus Christ (Rom. 16:25, 1 Cor. 2:7, Eph. 3:9-10, Col. 1:26). It also tells us that, for some reason, this Christ-centered wisdom was kept “secret and hidden” throughout the ages. It’s clear from this that YHVH's strategy was to outsmart and surprise the powers by sending Jesus.
2) While humans don’t generally know Jesus’ true identity during his ministry, demons do. They recognize Jesus as the Son of God, the Messiah, but, interestingly enough, they have no idea what he’s doing (Mark 1:24; 3:11; 5:7, Luke 8:21). Again, the wisdom of YHVH in sending Jesus was hidden from them.
3) We’re told that, while humans certainly share in the responsibility for the crucifixion, Satan and the powers were working behind the scenes to bring it about (John 13:27 cf. 1 Cor. 2:6-8). These forces of evil helped orchestrate the crucifixion.
4) We’re taught that if the “princes of this world [age]” had understood the secret wisdom of YHVH, “they would not have crucified the Lord of glory” (1 Cor 2:8 cf. vss 6-7). Apparently, Satan and the powers regretted orchestrating Christ’s crucifixion once they learned of the wisdom of YHVH that was behind it.
5) Finally, we can begin to understand why the powers came to regret crucifying “the Lord of glory” when we read that it was by means of the crucifixion that the “handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us [i.e., the charge of our legal indebtedness]” was “[taken] out of the way [i.e., canceled]” as the powers were disarmed. In this way Christ “triumph[ed] over” the powers by "his cross” and even “made a shew of them openly” (Col. 2:14-15). Through Christ’s death and resurrection YHVH's enemies were vanquished and placed under his Messiah's feet, and ultimately His own in the end (1 Cor. 15:23-28).
Putting these five clues together, we can discern YHVH's Trojan Horse strategy in sending Jesus.
The powers couldn’t discern why Jesus came because YHVH's wisdom was hidden from them. YHVH's wisdom was motivated by unfathomable love, and since Satan and the other powers were evil, they lacked the capacity to understand it. Their evil hearts prevented them from suspecting what YHVH was up to.
What the powers did understand was that Jesus was mortal. This meant he was killable. Lacking the capacity to understand that this was the means by which YHVH would ultimately bring about the defeat of death (and thus, pave the road for the resurrection itself), they never suspected that making Jesus vulnerable to their evil might actually be part of YHVH's infinitely wise plan.
And so they took the bait (or "ransom"; Matt. 20:28, Mark 10:45, 1 Tim. 2:5-6). Utilizing Judas and other willing human agents, the powers played right into YHVH’s secret plan and orchestrated the crucifixion of the Messiah (Acts 2:22-23; 4:28). YHVH thus brilliantly used the self-inflicted incapacity of evil to understand love against itself. And, like light dispelling darkness, the unfathomably beautiful act of YHVH's love in sending the willing Messiah as a "ransom" to these blood-thirsty powers defeated them. The whole creation was in principle freed and reconciled to YHVH, while everything written against us humans was nailed to the cross, thus robbing the powers of the only legal claim they had on us. They were “spoiled [i.e., disempowered]” (Col. 2:14-15).
As happened to the Trojans in accepting the gift from the Greeks, in seizing on Christ’s vulnerability and orchestrating his crucifixion, the powers unwittingly cooperated with YHVH to unleash the one power in the world that dispels all evil and sets captives free. It’s the power of self-sacrificial love.

Why Penal Substitution Is Unbiblical

For the sake of keeping this already lengthy post as short as possible I'm not going to spend too much time on why exactly PSA (Penal Substitutionary Atonement) is inconsistent with Scripture, but I'll go ahead and point out the main reasons why I believe this is so, and let the reader look further into this subject by themselves, being that there are many resources out there which have devoted much more time than I ever could here in supporting this premise.

"Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our passover is sacrificed for us:"-1 Corinthians 5:7

The Passover is one of the two most prominent images in the New Testament given as a comparison to Christ's atonement and what it accomplished, (the other most common image being the Day of Atonement sacrifice).
In the Passover, the blood of the lamb on the door posts of the Hebrews in the book of Exodus was meant to mark out those who were YHVH's, not be a symbol of PSA, as the lamb itself was not being punished by God in place of the Hebrews, but rather the kingdom of Egypt (and thus, allegorically speaking, the kingdom of darkness which opposed YHVH) was what was being judged and punished, because those who were not "covered" by the blood of the lamb could be easily identified as not part of God's kingdom/covenant and liberated people.
Looking at the Day of Atonement sacrifice (which, again, Christ's death is repeatedly compared to throughout the New Testament), this ritual required a ram, a bull, and two goats (Lev. 16:3-5). The ram was for a burnt offering intended to please God (Lev. 16:3-4). The bull served as a sin offering for Aaron, the high priest, and his family. In this case, the sin offering restored the priest to ritual purity, allowing him to occupy sacred space and be near YHVH’s presence. Two goats taken from "the congregation” were needed for the single sin offering for the people (Lev. 16:5). So why two goats?
The high priest would cast lots over the two goats, with one chosen as a sacrifice “for the Lord” (Lev. 16:8). The blood of that goat would purify the people. The second goat was not sacrificed or designated “for the Lord.” On the contrary, this goat—the one that symbolically carried the sins away from the camp of Israel into the wilderness—was “for Azazel” (Lev. 16:8-10).
What—or who—is Azazel?
The Hebrew term azazel (עזאזל) occurs four times in Leviticus 16 but nowhere else in most people's canon of the Bible, (and I say "most people's canon," because some people do include 1 Enoch in their canon of Scripture, which of course goes into great detail about this "Azazel" figure). Many translations prefer to translate the term as a phrase, “the goat that goes away,” which is the same idea conveyed in the King James Version’s “scapegoat.” Other translations treat the word as a name: Azazel. The “scapegoat” option is possible, but since the phrase “for Azazel” parallels the phrase “for YHVH” (“for the Lord”), the wording suggests that two divine figures are being contrasted by the two goats.
A strong case can be made for translating the term as the name Azazel. Ancient Jewish texts show that Azazel was understood as a demonic figure associated with the wilderness. The Mishnah (ca. AD 200; Yoma 6:6) records that the goat for Azazel was led to a cliff and pushed over, ensuring it would not return with its death. This association of the wilderness with evil is also evident in the New Testament, as this was where Jesus met the devil (Matt. 4:1). Also, in Leviticus 17:1-7 we learn that some Israelites had been accustomed to sacrificing offerings to "devils" (alternatively translated as “goat demons”). The Day of Atonement replaced this illegitimate practice.
The second goat was not sent into the wilderness as a sacrifice to a foreign god or demon. The act of sending the live goat out into the wilderness, which was unholy ground, was to send the sins of the people where they belonged—to the demonic domain. With one goat sacrificed to bring purification and access to YHVH and one goat sent to carry the people’s sins to the demonic domain, this annual ritual reinforced the identity of the true God and His mercy and holiness.
When Jesus died on the cross for all of humanity’s sins, he was crucified outside the city, paralleling the sins of the people being cast to the wilderness via the goat to Azazel. Jesus died once for all sinners, negating the need for this ritual.
As previously stated, the goat which had all the sin put on it was sent alive off to the wilderness, while the blood of the goat which was blameless was used to purify the temple and the people. Penal substitution would necessitate the killing of the goat which had the sin put on it.
Mind you, this is the only sacrificial ritual of any kind in the Torah in which sins are placed on an animal. The only time it happens is this, and that animal is not sacrificed. Most PSA proponents unwittingly point to this ritual as evidence of their view, despite it actually serving as evidence to the contrary, because most people don't read their Old Testament and don't familiarize themselves with the "boring parts" like Leviticus (when it's actually rather important to do so, since that book explains how exactly animal offerings were to be carried out and why they were done in the first place).
In the New Testament, Christ's blood was not only meant to mark out those who were his, but also expel the presence of sin and ritual uncleanness so as to make the presence of YHVH manifest in the believer's life. Notice how God's wrath isn't poured out on Christ in our stead on this view, but rather His wrath was poured out on those who weren't covered, and the presence of sin and evil were merely removed by that which is pure and blameless (Christ's blood) for the believer.
All this is the difference between expiation and propitiation.

The Content of Paul's Gospel Message

When the New Testament writers talked about “the gospel,” they referred not to the Protestant doctrine of justification sola fide–the proposition that if we will stop trying to win God’s favor and only just believe that God has exchanged our sin for Christ’s perfect righteousness, then in God’s eyes we will have the perfect righteousness required both for salvation and for assuaging our guilty consciences–but rather they referred to the simple but explosive proposition Kyrios Christos, “Christ is Lord.” That is to say, the gospel was, properly speaking, the royal announcement that Jesus of Nazareth was the God of Israel’s promised Messiah, the King of kings and Lord of lords.
The New Testament writers were not writing in a cultural or linguistic vacuum and their language of euangelion (good news) and euangelizomai would have been understood by their audience in fairly specific ways. Namely, in the Greco-Roman world for which the New Testament authors wrote, euangelion/euangelizomai language typically had to do with either A) the announcement of the accession of a ruler, or B) the announcement of a victory in battle, and would probably have been understood along those lines.
Let’s take the announcements of a new ruler first. The classic example of such a language is the Priene Calendar Inscription, dating to circa 9 BC, which celebrates the rule (and birthday) of Caesar Augustus as follows:
"It was seeming to the Greeks in Asia, in the opinion of the high priest Apollonius of Menophilus Azanitus: Since Providence, which has ordered all things of our life and is very much interested in our life, has ordered things in sending Augustus, whom she filled with virtue for the benefit of men, sending him as a savior [soter] both for us and for those after us, him who would end war and order all things, and since Caesar by his appearance [epiphanein] surpassed the hopes of all those who received the good tidings [euangelia], not only those who were benefactors before him, but even the hope among those who will be left afterward, and the birthday of the god [he genethlios tou theou] was for the world the beginning of the good tidings [euangelion] through him; and Asia resolved it in Smyrna."
The association of the term euangelion with the announcement of Augustus’ rule is clear enough and is typical of how this language is used elsewhere. To give another example, Josephus records that at the news of the accession of the new emperor Vespasian (69 AD) “every city kept festival for the good news (euangelia) and offered sacrifices on his behalf.” (The Jewish War, IV.618). Finally, a papyrus dating to ca. 498 AD begins:
"Since I have become aware of the good news (euangeliou) about the proclamation as Caesar (of Gaius Julius Verus Maximus Augustus)…"
This usage occurs also in the Septuagint, the Greek translations of the Jewish Scriptures. For instance LXX Isaiah 52:7 reads, “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news (euangelizomenou), who publishes peace, who brings good news (euangelizomenos) of salvation, who says to Zion, ‘Your God reigns.'" Similarly, LXX Isaiah 40:9-10 reads:

"…Go up on a high mountain, you who bring good tidings (ho euangelizomenos) to Sion; lift up your voice with strength, you who bring good tidings (ho euangelizomenos); lift it up, do not fear; say to the cities of Ioudas, “See your God!” Behold, the Lord comes with strength, and his arm with authority (kyrieias)…."-NETS, Esaias 40:9-10

This consistent close connection between euangelion/euangelizomai language and announcements of rule strongly suggests that many of the initial hearers/readers of the early Christians’ evangelical language would likely have understood that language as the announcement of a new ruler (see, e.g., Acts 17:7), and, unless there is strong NT evidence to the contrary, we should presume that the NT writers probably intended their language to be so understood.
However, the other main way in which euangelion/euangelizomai language was used in the Greco-Roman world was with reference to battle reports, announcements of victory in war. A classic example of this sort of usage can be found in LXX 2 Samuel 18:19ff, where David receives word that his traitorous son, Absalom, has been defeated in battle. Euangelion/euangelizomai is used throughout the passage for the communications from the front.
As already shown throughout this post, the NT speaks of Jesus’s death and resurrection as a great victory over the powers that existed at that time and, most importantly, over death itself. Jesus’ conquest of the principalities and powers was the establishment of his rule and comprehensive authority over heaven and earth, that is, of his Lordship over all things (again, at that time).
This was the content of Paul's gospel message...

Justification, and the "New" Perspective on Paul

The following quotation is from The Gospel Coalition, and I believe it to be a decently accurate summary of the NPP (New Perspective on Paul), despite it being from a source which is in opposition to it:

The New Perspective on Paul, a major scholarly shift that began in the 1980s, argues that the Jewish context of the New Testament has been wrongly understood and that this misunderstand[ing] has led to errors in the traditional-Protestant understanding of justification. According to the New Perspective, the Jewish systems of salvation were not based on works-righteousness but rather on covenantal nomism, the belief that one enters the people of God by grace and stays in through obedience to the covenant. This means that Paul could not have been referring to works-righteousness by his phrase “works of the law”; instead, he was referring to Jewish boundary markers that made clear who was or was not within the people of God. For the New Perspective, this is the issue that Paul opposes in the NT. Thus, justification takes on two aspects for the New Perspective rather than one; initial justification is by faith (grace) and recognizes covenant status (ecclesiology), while final justification is partially by works, albeit works produced by the Spirit.

I believe what's called the "new perspective" is actually rather old, and that the Reformers' view of Paul is what is truly new, being that the Lutheran understanding of Paul is simply not Biblical.
The Reformation perspective understands Paul to be arguing against a legalistic Jewish culture that seeks to earn their salvation through works. However, supporters of the NPP argue that Paul has been misread. We contend he was actually combating Jews who were boasting because they were God's people, the "elect" or the "chosen ones." Their "works," so to speak, were done to show they were God's covenant people and not to earn their salvation.
The key questions involve Paul’s view(s) of the law and the meaning of the controversy in which Paul was engaged. Paul strongly argued that we are “justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law” (Gal. 2:16b). Since the time of Martin Luther, this has been understood as an indictment of legalistic efforts to merit favor before God. Judaism was cast in the role of the medieval "church," and so Paul’s protests became very Lutheran, with traditional-Protestant theology reinforced in all its particulars (along with its limitations) as a result. In hermeneutical terms, then, the historical context of Paul’s debate will answer the questions we have about what exactly the apostle meant by the phrase "works of the law," along with other phrases often used as support by the Reformers for their doctrine of Sola Fide (justification by faith alone), like when Paul mentions "the righteousness of God."
Obviously an in-depth analysis of the Pauline corpus and its place in the context of first-century Judaism would take us far beyond the scope of this brief post. We can, however, quickly survey the topography of Paul’s thought in context, particularly as it has emerged through the efforts of recent scholarship, and note some salient points which may be used as the basis of a refurbished soteriology.
[Note: The more popular scholars associated with the NPP are E.P. Sanders, James Dunn, and N.T. Wright. Dunn was the first to coin the term "The New Perspective" in a 1983 Manson Memorial Lecture, The New Perspective on Paul and the Law.]
Varying authors since the early 1900's have brought up the charge that Paul was misread by those in the tradition of Martin Luther and other Protestant Reformers. Yet, it wasn't until E.P. Sanders' 1977 book, Paul and Palestinian Judaism, that scholars began to pay much attention to the issue. In his book, Sanders argues that the Judaism of Paul's day has been wrongly criticized as a religion of "works-salvation" by those in the Protestant tradition.
A fundamental premise in the NPP is that Judaism was actually a religion of grace. Sander's puts it clearly:
"On the point at which many have found the decisive contrast between Paul and Judaism - grace and works - Paul is in agreement with Palestinian Judaism... Salvation is by grace but judgment is according to works'...God saves by grace, but... within the framework established by grace he rewards good deeds and punishes transgression." (Paul and Palestinian Judaism, p. 543)
N.T. Wright adds that, "we have misjudged early Judaism, especially Pharisaism, if we have thought of it as an early version of Pelagianism," (Wright, What Saint Paul Really Said, p. 32).
Sanders has coined a now well-known phrase to describe the character of first-century Palestinian Judaism: “covenantal nomism.” The meaning of “covenantal nomism” is that human obedience is not construed as the means of entering into God’s covenant. That cannot be earned; inclusion within the covenant body is by the grace of God. Rather, obedience is the means of maintaining one’s status within the covenant. And with its emphasis on divine grace and forgiveness, Judaism was never a religion of legalism.
If covenantal nomism was operating as the primary category under which Jews understood the Law, then when Jews spoke of obeying commandments, or when they required strict obedience of themselves and fellow Jews, it was because they were "keeping the covenant," rather than out of legalism.
More recently, N.T. Wright has made a significant contribution in his little book, What Saint Paul Really Said. Wright’s focus is the gospel and the doctrine of justification. With incisive clarity he demonstrates that the core of Paul’s gospel was not justification by faith, but the death and resurrection of Christ and his exaltation as Lord. The proclamation of the gospel was the proclamation of Jesus as Lord, the Messiah who fulfilled Israel’s expectations. Romans 1:3-4, not 1:16-17, is the gospel, contrary to traditional thinking. Justification is not the center of Paul’s thought, but an outworking of it:
"[T]he doctrine of justification by faith is not what Paul means by ‘the gospel’. It is implied by the gospel; when the gospel is proclaimed, people come to faith and so are regarded by God as members of his people. But ‘the gospel’ is not an account of how people get saved. It is, as we saw in an earlier chapter, the proclamation of the lordship of Jesus Christ….Let us be quite clear. ‘The gospel’ is the announcement of Jesus’ lordship, which works with power to bring people into the family of Abraham, now redefined around Jesus Christ and characterized solely by faith in him. ‘Justification’ is the doctrine which insists that all those who have this faith belong as full members of this family, on this basis and no other." (pp. 132, 133)
Wright brings us to this point by showing what “justification” would have meant in Paul’s Jewish context, bound up as it was in law-court terminology, eschatology, and God’s faithfulness to God’s covenant.
Specifically, Wright explodes the myth that the pre-Christian Saul was a pious, proto-Pelagian moralist seeking to earn his individual passage into heaven. Wright capitalizes on Paul’s autobiographical confessions to paint rather a picture of a zealous Jewish nationalist whose driving concern was to cleanse Israel of Gentiles as well as Jews who had lax attitudes toward the Torah. Running the risk of anachronism, Wright points to a contemporary version of the pre-Christian Saul: Yigal Amir, the zealous Torah-loyal Jew who assassinated Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin for exchanging Israel’s land for peace. Wright writes:
"Jews like Saul of Tarsus were not interested in an abstract, ahistorical system of salvation... They were interested in the salvation which, they believed, the one true God had promised to his people Israel." (pp. 32, 33)
Wright maintains that as a Christian, Paul continued to challenge paganism by taking the moral high ground of the creational monotheist. The doctrine of justification was not what Paul preached to the Gentiles as the main thrust of his gospel message; it was rather “the thing his converts most needed to know in order to be assured that they really were part of God’s people” after they had responded to the gospel message.
Even while taking the gospel to the Gentiles, however, Paul continued to criticize Judaism “from within” even as he had as a zealous Pharisee. But whereas his mission before was to root out those with lax attitudes toward the Torah, now his mission was to demonstrate that God’s covenant faithfulness (righteousness) has already been revealed in Jesus Christ.
At this point Wright carefully documents Paul’s use of the controversial phrase “God’s righteousness” and draws out the implications of his meaning against the background of a Jewish concept of justification. The righteousness of God and the righteousness of the party who is “justified” cannot be confused because the term bears different connotations for the judge than for the plaintiff or defendant. The judge is “righteous” if his or her judgment is fair and impartial; the plaintiff or defendant is “righteous” if the judge rules in his or her favor. Hence:
"If we use the language of the law court, it makes no sense whatsoever to say that the judge imputes, imparts, bequeaths, conveys or otherwise transfers his righteousness to either the plaintiff or the defendant. Righteousness is not an object, a substance or a gas which can be passed across the courtroom. For the judge to be righteous does not mean that the court has found in his favor. For the plaintiff or defendant to be righteous does not mean that he or she has tried the case properly or impartially. To imagine the defendant somehow receiving the judge’s righteousness is simply a category mistake. That is not how the language works." (p. 98)
However, Wright makes the important observation that even with the forensic metaphor, Paul’s theology is not so much about the courtroom as it is about God’s love.
Righteousness is not an impersonal, abstract standard, a measuring-stick or a balancing scale. That was, and still is, a Greek view. Righteousness, Biblically speaking, grows out of covenant relationship. We forgive because we have been forgiven (Matt. 18:21-35); “we love" because God “first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Love is the fulfillment of the law (Rom. 13:8, 10, Gal 5:14, Jam. 2:8). Paul even looked forward to a day when “we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad” (2 Cor. 5:10), and he acknowledged that his clear conscience did not necessarily ensure this verdict (1 Cor. 4:4), but he was confident nevertheless. Paul did in fact testify of his clear conscience: “For our rejoicing is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God, we have had our conversation [i.e., behavior] in the world, and more abundantly to you-ward” (2 Cor. 1:12). He was aware that he had not yet “attained” (Phil. 3:12-14), that he still struggled with the flesh, yet he was confident of the value of his performance (1 Cor. 9:27). These are hardly the convictions of someone who intends to rest entirely on the merits of an alien righteousness imputed to his or her account.
Wright went on to flesh out the doctrine of justification in Galatians, Philippians, and Romans. The “works of the law” are not proto-Pelagian efforts to earn salvation, but rather “sabbath [keeping], food-laws, circumcision” (p. 132). Considering the controversy in Galatia, Wright writes:
"Despite a long tradition to the contrary, the problem Paul addresses in Galatians is not the question of how precisely someone becomes a Christian, or attains to a relationship with God….The problem he addresses is: should his ex-pagan converts be circumcised or not? Now this question is by no means obviously to do with the questions faced by Augustine and Pelagius, or by Luther and Erasmus. On anyone’s reading, but especially within its first-century context, it has to do quite obviously with the question of how you define the people of God: are they to be defined by the badges of Jewish race, or in some other way? Circumcision is not a ‘moral’ issue; it does not have to do with moral effort, or earning salvation by good deeds. Nor can we simply treat it as a religious ritual, then designate all religious ritual as crypto-Pelagian good works, and so smuggle Pelagius into Galatia as the arch-opponent after all. First-century thought, both Jewish and Christian, simply doesn’t work like that…. [T]he polemic against the Torah in Galatians simply will not work if we ‘translate’ it into polemic either against straightforward self-help moralism or against the more subtle snare of ‘legalism’, as some have suggested. The passages about the law only work — and by ‘work’ I mean they will only make full sense in their contexts, which is what counts in the last analysis — when we take them as references to the Jewish law, the Torah, seen as the national charter of the Jewish race." (pp. 120-122)
The debate about justification, then, “wasn’t so much about soteriology as about ecclesiology; not so much about salvation as about the church.” (p. 119)
To summarize the theology of Paul in his epistles, the apostle mainly spent time arguing to those whom he were sending letters that salvation in Christ was available to all men without distinction. Jews and Gentiles alike may accept the free gift; it was not limited to any one group. Paul was vehement about this, especially in his letter to the Romans. As such, I will finish this post off by summarizing the letter itself, so as to provide Biblical support for the premises of the NPP and for what the scholars I referenced have thus far argued.
After his introduction in the epistle to an already believing and mostly Gentile audience (who would've already been familiar with the gospel proclaimed in verses 3-4), Paul makes a thematic statement in 1:16: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.” This statement is just one of many key statements littered throughout the book of Romans that give us proper understanding of the point Paul wished to make to the interlocutors of his day, namely, salvation is available to all, whether Jew or Gentile.
In 1:16 Paul sets out a basic theme of his message in the letter to the Romans. All who believed, whether they be Jew or Gentile, were saved by the power of the gospel. The universal nature of salvation was explicitly stated. The gospel saved all without distinction, whether Jew or Greek; salvation was through the gospel of Jesus Christ. Immediately after this thematic declaration, Paul undertakes to show the universal nature of sin and guilt. In 1:18-32 Paul shows how the Gentile is guilty before God. Despite evidence of God and his attributes, which is readily available to all, they have failed to honor YHVH as God and have exchanged His glory for idolatrous worship and self-promotion. As a consequence, God handed them over in judgment (1:18-32). Paul moves to denunciation of those who would judge others while themselves being guilty of the very same offenses (2:1-5) and argues that all will be judged according to their deeds (2:6). This judgment applies to all, namely, Jew and Greek (2:9-10). This section serves as somewhat of a transition in Paul’s argument. He has highlighted the guilt of the Gentiles (1:18ff) and will shortly outline the guilt of the Jew (2:17-24). The universal statement of 2:1-11 sets the stage for Paul’s rebuke of Jewish presumption. It was not possession of the Law which delivered; it was faithful obedience. It is better to have no Law and yet to obey the essence of the Law (2:12-16) than to have the Law and not obey (2:17-3:4). Paul then defends the justice of God’s judgment (3:5-8), which leads to the conclusion that all (Jew and Gentile) are guilty before God (3:9).
Paul argues that it was a mistaken notion to think that salvation was the prerogative of the Jew only. This presumption is wrong for two reasons. First, it leads to the mistaken assumption that only Jews were eligible for this vindication (Paul deals with this misunderstanding in chapter 4 where he demonstrates that Abraham was justified by faith independently of the Law and is therefore the father of all who believe, Jew and Gentile alike). Second, it leads to the equally mistaken conclusion that all who were Jews are guaranteed of vindication. Paul demonstrates how this perspective, which would call God’s integrity into question since Paul was assuming many Jews would not experience this vindication, was misguided. He did this by demonstrating that it was never the case that all physical descendants of Israel (Jacob) were likewise recipients of the promise. In the past (9:6-33) as in the present (at that time; 11:1-10), only a remnant was preserved and only a remnant would experience vindication. Paul also argued that the unbelief of national Israel (the non-remnant) had the purpose of extending the compass of salvation. The unbelief of one group made the universal scope of the gospel possible. This universalism was itself intended to bring about the vindication of the unbelieving group (11:11-16). As a result of faith, all (Jew and Gentile) could be branches of the olive tree (11:17-24). Since faith in Christ was necessary to remain grafted into the tree, no one could boast of his position. All, Jew and Gentile alike, were dependent upon the mercy and grace of God. As a result of God’s mysterious plan, He would bring about the vindication of His people (11:25-27). [Note: It is this author's belief that this vindication occurred around 66-70 AD, with the Parousia of Christ's Church; this author is Full-Preterist in their Eschatology.]

I'd like to share a lengthy and self-indulgent note about my history with the Baha'i community and the impact it had on my family and me. It's worth noting that I'm sharing this using a throwaway Reddit account that I generally reserve for browsing porn. I find funny to imagine a Baha'i apologist reading this, becoming angry and judgmental, and then, investigating my profile and ending up jerking off. With that said, let's dive into my story.
I want to share my experience in case it resonates with someone else, a lot of the stories on this Reddit helped me, and perhaps my story will give some comfort to someone else. It has taken me a while to write this down, and I'm glad I finally got around to doing it.
My parents emigrated from their homeland for reasons of principle and value. Upon their arrival, they were greeted by Baha'is who met them. And so, lovebombed and lavished with love, praise, and celebration for moving countries due to values that they portrayed as being closely aligned with the Baha'i faith, my parents fell for this validation and worked very hard once they became Baha'is in the mid-1980s.
My dad got rid of all of his whiskies, and swiftly, my parents began hosting potlucks and fireside chats, diligently working to integrate into the Baha'i ecosystem. Back then, the atmosphere was fairly light-hearted, with devotional gatherings, prayers, and a somewhat 1960s-esque hippie vibe. There was live guitar music, and joss sticks.
However, I remember Baha'i classes having an interesting edge. We were taught that Buddhists were not following a religion but merely a way of life, and that Hindus had become pantheistic because they had lost the core of their faith and religion, which had become corrupted over time. Thanks to Google, I can discover that yes indeed, this is from Lights of Guidance.
There was a significant emphasis on the importance of gender equality and the oneness of humanity – because, hey, the eighties. I feel sad there isn't anything anymore about the Virtues project - even if the Virtues project was sort of framed like it was created by Bahais.
Even in the 1980s, there was an overwhelming atmosphere that the key to being a good Baha'i was how you presented yourself rather than your actual behaviour. I recall learning an apocryphal tale of a young Baha'i who, while fasting, participated in an aerobics class and nearly fainted (yeah, aerobics, this is a real 80s fable), but was told by another Baha'i to prioritize representing the faith well over completing the fast because *it looked bad*. From a very early age, I learned the importance of putting the right face forward.
My parents then took their relationship with the Baha'i faith to the next level and volunteered at the World Centre in Haifa. As a child, this was a pretty interesting experience. I was suddenly immersed in the Iranian, or rather, Persian community, with its strong culture of martyrdom. Even as a child, every event seemed to feature graphic videos depicting young kids being taken from their homes. It was quite frightening, and I remember being afraid.
I also recall a strong sense of hierarchy within the community. My family lived in a small apartment with a very old, busted-up car from the 1970s, while others resided in nice homes with pleasant views and drove nice cars. I attended a local Israeli school, which was a cultural experience in itself, while my peers my age went to the much fancier American school. It's important to note that, at this point, the conversation about the "great catastrophe" – two-thirds of the world's population dying, leading to a period of peace and the entry by troops – was a prevalent topic openly discussed at the World Centre.
We completed our stint there, even living through the Gulf War. Upon returning to my birth country, my parents chose to live in places with smaller Baha'i communities, as they wanted to support and help establish Local Spiritual Assemblies. Things had changed by this point, not only because I was a teenager but also because the community itself had transformed. There was a significant Iranian presence everywhere, and the focus had shifted heavily towards rules, especially those related to sex, drinking, and drug use. There was also a huge emphasis on financial contributions to the faith, and it was the first time I began to see a somewhat materialistic outlook within the community.
As a preteen and teenager, I engaged in activities like dropping off flyers in mailboxes and soliciting strangers to talk about this great new religion, all in the name of “teaching”. I joined the local choir and sang, inspired by a crush I had on a girl there. This was probably the golden time of the community, with the choir doing outreach and a balance between Western and Iranian believers.
However, things began to accelerate. The Ruhi Institute and teaching became significant focal points. I was encouraged to bring a good friend of mine to a Baha'i camp, and once there, I was pressured to ask him to convert. It was very uncomfortable.
This Reddit loves cringe stories, so here is a winner: I had a birthday party with my non-Baha'i friends, and two older Baha'i girls attended. One of the girls ended up stalking my friend, showing up at his workplace and calling him at home with sexually suggestive comments. The matter was escalated to the Local Spiritual Assembly, but instead of talking to me about it, they basically ended my friendship with this kid. To me, this somehow captures so much of what it was like to be a Baha'i child and how Baha'i adults treat children to this day.
When I turned 15, I signed up for Baha'i membership because it was the expected thing to do. However, by the time I was in my early 20s and studying at university, I had started to interact more with the local, real-world community. This might seem like a small thing, but it was actually quite significant. You see, my parents had always felt a little bit on the outside compared to the average person on the street around them. This sense of elitism was really exacerbated by being a Baha'i because Baha'is would walk around in a cloud of self-assurance, slapping each other on the back and saying , "We don't do drugs. We've got all the answers and solutions, not like you." That was pretty much the attitude. It felt very socio-economic, with a lot of judgment towards working-class people. When the Iranians arrived, the cultural judgments grew even stronger.
But I was working in restaurants and learning about booze from bartenders. I had gotten to know real people. I had lost my virginity, and all that Bahai jazz seemed so much less relevant. I hardly even noticed when the year 2000 arrived without the predicted apocalypse, entry by troops, or any of the other anticipated events. Life went on. I lived in another country and met a girl, and we lived together.
Here is cringe story #2: my girlfriend /fiancé and I hosted a Bahai couple from my hometown. Despite being in my late 20s and engaged, and even though I hosted this gentleman in my house and helped him with his preparations for his business and presentations in the country where I lived, he reported to the Local Spiritual Assembly that I was living with a woman and we weren't married. It was absolutely amazing. The level of judgment still grosses me out.
I started to reflect on what the religion had meant to me and saw how it had changed. The obsession with fundraising was becoming ever more strident and panicked. The gaps in the actual scriptural logic of the religion were becoming more exacerbated as real-world problems still ran rife, and real-time discussions on social media brought these issues to light. It took me a while to start really digging into it, and it was only much later, when I started therapy, that I realized I needed to formally resign from the religion.
Looking back, it's astonishing how this religion, which professes to have such blind equality between the genders, as if other religions have some kind of hardwired sexism, actually had hardwired sexism in how the Universal House of Justice operates. A religion that taught the oneness of humanity, as if all humanity is equal and other religions don't recruit from anyone they can find, places divisors. Although of course, Bahai’s can’t recruit from Israeli Jews, so much for oneness of humanity. But this religion has taught that all humanity is equal, unless, of course, you're gay. Then you can't get married, let alone have sex.
There are other principles I haven't touched on, such as non-involvement in politics, unless it involves things happening to Baha'is or politics in Iran. The principle of independent investigation of the truth doesn't seem to work if you might investigate something that's not in line with the Baha'i perspective. The idea of a universal language? I don't really see any evidence that they're even really thinking about that one. The unity between science and religion? A religion that only allows men to sit on its senior board of a global theocracy probably isn't going to jive with a contemporary scientific perspective…. I mean, apparently you don't need a penis to be a man anymore, right?
In between these moments are my colorful memories of random things, like endless discussions about the boundaries of physical intimacy, people getting married at the age of 16 because they had exemptions for being Persian, and meeting Ms. Khanoom in Israel, feeling some sadness that the lone woman who at least brought some feminine energy to the World Centre is now gone, replaced by 12 boring men.
I've had conversations with my wife where I tried to explain what Baha'is actually do. She just wonders why they aren't doing stuff like normal religions do, like reading to the elderly or supporting schools for the disabled. I explain that's not the target demographic. I remember a wealthy man brought to firesides who obviously nobody else wanted to listen to, but we all sat around and applauded him like he was a great ukulele player and a clever man. He pointed out a hilariously Iranian man who was an alternative healer, and they got into a debate about modern medicine. The wealthy man said, "Well, you should see my daughter and what she studied. She studies Law." And then quickly changed the subject when asked about her name since I studied at the same Law school. Here's this man who's self-aware enough to join the adoration of his crowd but doesn't want his daughter mixed up in it in any way. Absolutely hilarious. Make that cringe story #3.
This reflection was sort of sparked when my wife and I discovered that the writings attributed to Rumi, which Baha'is often quote, is the same guy who started the Whirling Dervishes. We read about Rumi and I realized just how different he is from Baha'u'llah. Rumi wrote poetry, but he didn't pretend to be a prophet of God. He was just offering a different dynamic for how to interpret spirituality. He didn't say he was part of some sort of cycle. There's something beautiful about that simplicity. And needless to say, Rumi lived long before the Baha'is ever started.
It makes me wonder, will anyone ever watch the equivalent of a whirling dervish dance for the Baha'is?
The obsession with appearances sounds like a joke, but it isn't. It wasn't for me. Some bad stuff happened to me on my trip to Israel. When we got there, my parents didn't understand why I was so upset about everything. It was a culture shock, attending a local school, not speaking Hebrew, being lumped together with Russian kids who also didn't speak Hebrew, and getting beaten up in the toilet. It wasn't a very good time for me.
So, I was sent to counsel with a local Israeli counselor. After several sessions, she instructed that I had to sit down with my parents and tell them what I needed to tell them, particularly about the shadow that had come over me since coming to Israel. My parents were enraged when I said, “I wish we never became Bahai”.
And so, we returned from the Holy Land and moved to a tiny community that was struggling to get members. To this day, my parents are still members. I've resigned so I'm never dubbed a "covenant breaker." I'm pretty sure my parents know that I resigned because they literally never raise the topic of the Baha'i faith with me. I wish the religion had some interesting cosmology, something mystical, some interesting new take on the universe, or provided my family with tools to handle being migrants or raising teenagers. At the very least, it could have given us a common language we could have used to bond together. It did none of that.
But to be fair, if it wasn't the Baha'is, some other rinky-dink cult would have love-bombed my parents back in the 1980s. Of course, it would have been so much more fun if it had featured more sex and drugs 😊

Disgust / / Take My Hand

Mombasa, The Union of African Socialist Republics 

vibe

"Upheaval of the world, French Guiana the last stand of the West?"

"The torturous end of the Russian hyper-state has sparked a crisis for an increasingly volatile world."

Bandung Daily Issued August 1st, 2072 - 12:00 Mombasa, The Union of African Socialist Republics
MOMBASA - It would seem that the fall of the Great Russian Goliath had been in the making the moment that Dederick Lohengrin's empire collapsed, yet unlike the Álfheimr Civil War - the collapse of Russian Hegemony would be as swift as the dissolution of its predecessor, the Soviet Union. There was no tears to weep, no alliance to mourn, the Eastern Union had long ceased to be anything less than an arms manufacturer for the Bandung Pact - growing increasingly obsolete in the face of an expanding Pact technology network.
How many times had the world called for Russian aid? As much as the Russian and Eastern Union governments had decried the lack of a Western response to the original Downfall of Europe, by the late forties, the Eastern Union so overwhelmed with corruption, had become the very thing that those early Eastern Union ambassadors had loathed - they had, in essence, become the very thing they found disgusting. Italy, fallen at the hands of the Alfr and the Eastern Union did nothing. The countless provocations of the Aesir and never an adequate response, a Japanese Empire chipping away at the very bones of Eastern Union hegemony and in the end, it was only the intervention of INC diplomacy (theorized) that prevented the consumption of anything more than Manchuria. Even as the very Russian nation-state collapsed inward, not even the Bandung Pact could do more than give a shake of their heads while scalping away much of the Russian technological base in a way not dissimilar to the early East African efforts to save the Israeli industry. And as the once Karakum Union once again declared nominal independence from the broader Russian entity, the beginning of the end for Eastern Europe was once again nigh.
Therefore, it was no surprise when the Garden of Eden spread its roots through the former Polish hyper-state, the tendrils of Iohannis grasping at every fallen fruit, each an offering to the Earth Mother (so it's called in Eastern Europe). It was no surprise when the Second Roman Republic, what was once Greece, and the machinations in Yugoslavia equally unified under an expanded Republic partially at the behest of a significant diaspora of Italian veterans of the Gothic Wars. It was no surprise, when in the face of the spreading vines of Kyiv, that the UNSC under all its providence as a GIGAS member - initiated the annexation of what was once Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania. It was no surprise, when the Bandung Pact did what it could to funnel Russian troops, assets, and civilians out of a collapsing hyper-state. It was no surprise, when the vulture of the Midnight Sun descended on Siberia, consuming Vladivostok and moving into Mongolia and across Lake Baikal.
It was however a surprise when radio messages of a free Europe, began quietly skimming across morning news in the Bandung Pact. It was a surprise when those same messages soon led to declaration of a new "Atlantic Russian Republic", when those radio waves turned into surviving Russian fleets massing in the last quietly surviving Russian territory that all but Russia had forgotten of. At one of the many mouths of the Amazon jungle, stood the Atlantic Russian Republic and the last bastion of Free Europe in the West. The fleets of the Polish-Russian hyperstate had under Bandung support, skulked quietly into the Atlantic Ocean under new flags, until eventually landing in French Guiana. Much like the French Remnant State which survived as the last offshoot until it was eventually subsumed by the Russian government, the Atlantic Russian Republic now stands as a mini Fortress-state, housing the vast Russian Navy and all its kinetic and rocketry might. Just as the French Free Navy slowly starved to death, so too, now does the Russian Navy in its hole across the Ocean. And with a resource crisis still ongoing even if neutered now by the rampant space mining operations of the hyper-powers, the Russian Navy in exile's position remains ever volatile.
November 20th, 2072
Tallinn, Estonia (UNSC Protectorate)
The wind and snow was heavy even for November, that was the thought going through the old dog's head as he watched his ward, the Princess Estelle addressing the rows of former Russian soldiers. And as she finished, the guns ringing out signaling the formalization of the groundwork laid so many years ago it was not hard for the General to maintain his stoic nature as the procession of soldiers filed out of the great hall that had been constructed in Tallinn. Like so many others, they had become nationless men, effectively dead and yet still very much alive and willing to fight.
"So this is what your deal bought you." the ex-Prime Minister, ex-President, Katz finally broke his silence as Princess Estelle made her way back under the cover of the gallery. "My Baltics, turned into the Fens."
There was a sadness to the eyes of the fair-haired Princess, one letting on only a fraction of the pain she had experienced over the past year. "My cousin...he told me this would be an early birthday present." She lowered her head out of respect to the Russian ex-minister. "Had I known...what all that would have entailed, I would have certainly declined."
Timo Kivinen, the General of so many things by now, knew there was bountiful more that the Princess would have wanted to share in that very moment. He had heard it, when they had first been informed of the operation. He had seen Estelle's outrage, as the good Prince George did his best to calm his dear wife. But now, in the aftermath of the Russian Collapse, Estelle had put on her brave face and in true STOICs fashion - mustered a smile and a bout of levity.
"I once asked my cousin to remember us as his family, I hadn't expected this is the path to be walked by our kin." Estelle cracked a wry smile, as she started walking towards the exit. "But there is more to come, isn't that right, General?"
"Yes." Timo nodded, as his thoughts turned to the fleets amassing in the Atlantic.
"What now?" Katz questioned, not expecting much of an answer.
"Promises to keep, we have promises to keep." Estelle's gaze turned towards the Sun and the thought of warm waters.

CLAIM REVEAL: THE EASTERN UNION STATES (MAP)

The Atlantic Russian Republic

• DETAILS
• Head of State: Maxim Katz
  • Other Important Characters (meta control)
  • Those mentioned in bigrockswilderness Fleet Posts for Poland
• Population: 3,863,000 (including Naval and Marine personnel that evacuated Russia)
• Claim Starting Allotments (IE. Special Starting Scenario)
  • Has the ability to access a secret campaign (ALL THROUGH PLAYER INITIATIVE) to reclaim the Western Russian Remnant state in Europe.
  • Has control of 80% of the Russian Navy in entirety
  • Must find remedies for resource drain of the Fleet, or face narrative repercussions.
  • Starts with SECRET information that could lead to the expansion of the claim, early on.
  • Handing over the fleets, or coming under another's thumb or like-scenarios will result in a Naval mutiny. IE. this is not a viable "easy" option to deal with your lack of resources. There will be warning events.
  • Is not immediately aligned with anyone.
  • Has access to the entire Russian tech book (so to speak).

Things to Consider
The Atlantic Russian Republic (ARR) or better, the Russian Fleet in Exile is intended on being a claim that requires heavy amounts of player initiative through the early period of the season to survive. However, can blossom into a rewarding claim if played well.
This is a difficult claim in general, and you can expect to be under fire from many enemies as the Alfr remnant states (North America in particular) and the Bandung Pact both look to subsume or sink your fleets.

The Garden of Eden

• DETAILS
• Head of State: The Earth Mother - Klaus Iohannis
  • Other Important Characters (meta control)
  • Zalmoxis
  • Prophet Amir
  • Burebistan
  • Pleistoros
• Population: Not currently calculable
• Claim Starting Allotments (IE. Special Starting Scenario)
  • Begins with 30% of the Russian Army - corrupted.
  • Receives [BATTLE] bonuses based on the level of "perversion" and its spread across not just the Garden, but of the world. This is internally tracked by the Mods.
  • Likewise, receives automatic NEGATIVE amplifiers to [DIPLOMACY] with NPCs. (You are really freaking out the Japanese and INC AlfRussian remnants.)
  • Has access to the entire Russian tech book (so to speak).

Things to Consider
This is a fairly niche claim, having to wrestle with both the Alfr, INC, and Japan in the immediate vicinity - while attempting to repair (or destroy) relations with other surrounding neighbors as you look more inward.

The Second Roman Republic

• DETAILS
• Head of State: Gaius Appuleius Diocles
  • Other Important Characters (meta control)
  • Can be found here
  • And here for Italian related stuff
  • Niklas
• Population: 60,800,196
• Claim Starting Allotments (IE. Special Starting Scenario)
  • Ceasar's Legions = meta control over approx 200,000 battle-hardened Italian veterans of the Gothic Wars.
  • These legions will specifically receive significant [BATTLE] bonuses when used against Alfr remnant states. However, they are a finite number, each casualty being irreplaceable.
  • Additionally - the Legions have an expressed goal = reclaiming Rome (Italy). If this is not met by the 2/3rd mark of the Campaign, there will be IG repercussions of significant magnitude.
  • Begins the Campaign with positive diplomatic relations with ALL NPCs including Japan, non-playable Bandung Pact members, and non-claimable Alfr remnants. The only exception is TURKEY.
  • Has access to the entire Russian tech book (so to speak).

Things to Consider
The Second Roman Republic is a particularly interesting claim, due to its immediate diplomatic "neutrality through positive relations" and the fact that they have a legitimate claim to Italy if not Rome at large. However, they are also surrounded by power-hungry hyper-states that have increasingly small amounts of room to expand.
Questions please send on discord through private messages or comment on this post.

US-31 EDR

Its intended as a US-31 EMERGENCY DETOUR ROUTE, which is why "31" is the last two digits, similar to many other triple-digit routes.

County Route B31

In the town of Nunica itself, there's a County route designated as "B31". Since B is the second letter of the alphabet, one might assume "231" from that, although in a Hexadecimal context, it'd be more like 2,865. Normally routes don't have quadruple digits, so it was sorta a good idea to have alphanumeric county routes.
B-31 goes all the way to M-120, both of which ride along the border of Newaygo County and Muskegon County. Interestingly, M-120 used to be M-213 in the past, see "M-213" section below.

an area code in Michigan

231 is also a telephone area code. Incidentally, 231 is not the area code for Nunica, although the 231 area code was formerly part of the 616 area code which Ottawa County, and Grand Rapids, and some other cities are part of. The 231 area code was created in 1999, which would be 16 years before M-231 opened to traffic.
After all, lots of people driving on US-31 are heading to the 231 area code, and might take M-231 in the event of a drawbridge situation, whether it be traffic jams caused by the bridge being up, or even the bridge being OUT OF ORDER needing maintenance.
Although, the 231 area code starts in Muskegon, where I-96 terminates at US-31, so essentially, the US-31 EDR starts at I-96 going toward Nunica (M-231), and then picks up at M-231, and then M-45 going back to US-31.

M-213 anecdote

Back in the 1950s, and prior, there used to be a route called M-213, which occupied the Maple Island Road corridor going from M-46 to M-20 (present-day M-120), and in the present day, that roadway is a segment of county route B31, explanation about that route above.
It has been explained on Christopher Bessert's Michigan Highways website that M-231 has an odd, tenuous connection of M-213, as explained in this article:
https://michiganhighways.org/listings/M-231.html
That article really inspired me to make my own post, here on Reddit, about M-231's oddities.

US-231 maybe?

There's also a route called US-231 which doesn't even enter Michigan at all, in fact, it veers northwest toward US-41 near the Chicagoland area near the Indiana/Illinois border.
But to be fair, having no US-231 in Michigan meant that the M-231 designation was available for use back when the project was first announced in the late 2000s.
US-231 goes through the state of Alabama, and it's neighboring state, Mississippi, has a city called Tunica in it, and Tunica rhymes with Nunica.

Ramona 231

The phrase "Ramona 231" was said in the movie American Graffiti. What's interesting about American Graffiti, is that an actror named Richard Dreyfuss was in the movie, and his 68th birthday was one day before the day when Michigan's M-231 route opened to traffic, but it's unlikely that that had any influence on the timing of events.
However, Richard Dreyfuss' character Curt was not the one who uttered the phrase "Ramona 231", it was John Milner played by Paul Le Mat.

BASE-3 number of some other route

M-231 terminates at M-45. I've also discovered that if you enter 45 in BASE-10, and change the radix to 4, you get number 231, so 231 is also the BASE-4 equivalent of the BASE-10 number 45.

kilograms-to-pounds unit conversion

I am aware that M-231 intersects with a route called M-104 which has been along a lot longer. I also recently discovered that there are about maybe 104 kilograms in 231 pounds, although it's more like 104.779 kilograms when 231 is an INTEGER for pounds.
so that's another probable inspiration for the route number.

any other ideas?

Any other "231" connections to point out?